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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count: 9,7K

Summary: Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings: Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

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Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

–

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General Taglist

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Next update: June 23th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Matthew Gray Gubler #Babymetaldoll writes #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid fanfiction #hurt #angst #fluff #fools in love #criminal minds re write #criminal minds fanfic #derek morgan #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #david rossi #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfictions #diwk

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melyaliz · 4 years

Text

Magnetic feelings

Anonymous: By any chance can I have a yj fic? I’m 4’11, half white half Mexican, I’m usually seen as cold and intimidating but I’m super polite when you first talk to me. After knowing me I’m very sarcastic and have a sharp sense of humor, I do gymnastics and study business and psychology, I grew up with a lot of sexism from the Mexican side of my family and the business side of the family to the point where I learned to shoot, play poker, and drink better than all the men when I was 12. Thank you!!!

Fandom: DC / Young Justice TV show

Summary: Roy Harper works alone.

Pairing: Roy Harper x Ship

Notes: I’m sorry this took so long. Alot of unforeseen issues happened last week like my computer breaking and then I broke my toe. Lots of breaking happening.

Hope it was worth the wait.

Also Roy Harper needs more love, and luck in love.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

-------------------------

Sometimes Roy felt like Will had taken his life from him. I mean in a way he was kind of his replacement but then again it wasn’t really Will’s fault. And since he had returned Will had done everything in his power to try and make the “original” feel at home.”

It wasn’t really fair that Roy feel anger toward his clone but… it was there. Burning just below the surface almost always. Frustration about his life, frustration on how easily no one had missed him. No one had noticed. The frustration that he really couldn’t do much about it.

So instead he did what any emotionally stable person did and took harder and harder missions. At least he could pound out of baddies. Let them feel his wrath. Control the controllable. He was allowed to feel anger toward the men he was pounding into the cement.

He was allowed to feel.

He was on one of those missions right now and vaguely wondering if he had maybe bitten off more than he could chew. The mission had suggested at least two so he had lied and said Jim would be coming along to help.

Obviously, he wasn’t but no one needed to know that.

Roy didn’t need back up.

Although now that he was fighting a literal human crocodile that was twice his side and built like a scaley brick wall he was slowly starting to wonder if this was the end. At least this time maybe he would actually be missed.

Dark yes, but also true.

Killer Croc snarled lunching toward Roy, claws out. The redhead sighed through swollen eyes trying to aim his mechanic arm when the large crocodile man froze. Eyes glassing over he fell into a heap just inches from Roy’s legs.

Roy quickly scooted away looking down at the beast. Then looking past it. That was when he saw a young woman standing just a few feet away.

“He’s just sleeping,” she said taking a few steps forward. Her hair pulled back dressed in a dark uniform and mask that suggested she was part of this life. The vigilante life. Looking back down Roy saw a small needle sticking out of crock’s neck.

“W… who are you?”

“Did you want my hero name or my real one?” she shickered holding out her hand for him to take.

“Uhhh.”

“HOW DARE YOU!”

Both young adults turned to see a blonde-haired woman running toward them, a large machine gun. Pulling it up and squaring off she pulled the trigger raining bullets down on them. Roy reached out wrapping his human arm around the woman’s waist as his mechanical arm faced forward ready to defend. Not that he really thought he could at this point.

“You always play the knight in shining armor?” the woman next to him asked. And that was when he realized the bullets that were raining down on them weren’t. Instead, they all stood suspended in mid-air. The woman’s hands out in front of them. “I don’t really need saving. But I could use a partner.”

“I work alone” Roy said holding his arm up firing off a few shots. The woman next to him rolled her eyes putting her hands on her hips. The bullet falling harmlessly to the ground clanking against the stone roof like steel hail.

“And how’s that been working out for you?” he could feel her behind him deflecting the bullets as he ran toward the blonde-haired woman. Firing his own attacks as the blonde ducked behind an air fan.

Another large pop sounded behind them and Roy felt the woman turn around pressing her back to his cursing under her breath. Glancing over his shoulder he saw her use her powers to send a massive missile that was shot at up into the air.

“I guess you are ready handy with those telekinetic powers” Roy admitted shooting the man who had shot the missile launcher.

“They are actually like your personality, magnetic” she laughed flipping over him before running toward the woman who was still shooting at them.

This time the bullets flew rights towards the metal user’s outstretched hand melting around her fist before she grabbed the barrel of the gun bending it back before landing a blow across the woman’s head knocking her out.

“Wow,” the missile launcher guy said next to Roy as the ginger tired him up.

“You can say that again” Roy agreed.

Both men glanced at each other realizing they were on opposite sides. The missile launcher guy just chuckled smiling sheepishly up at Roy. Roy, like the stable individual he was, laid him out with one punch.

“Nice, the cops should be here any moment.” Roy’s new teammate said skipping up to him. “I normally celebrate with a beer after a good day. There is this great bar not far from here.”

“I could go for a beer” Roy shrugged. “I’m Roy Harper”

“Y/N” she said taking his outstretched hand smiling.

Maybe having a partner wasn’t so bad.

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#Roy Harper #Roy Harper ship #Roy Harper request #Roy Harper x reader #Roy Harper reader #Roy Harper fluff #Roy Harper x oc #Roy Harper fanfic

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godlydolans · 5 years

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Tumblr won't let me answer this ask so I'm doing it this way-Pt.3

This is some star-crossed lovers shit that I cry over! I argue with my parents about the whole marrying into your own caste bullshit almost everyday. I really hope and pray this way of thinking changes because it really is a pain in the ass 😤

Y/N was going through a rough breakup when she'd first met Grayson. The guy she had been dating was from her own culture, a Doctor and her parents really liked him for their daughter. While the initial one year had been great, she quickly realised he wasn't the right guy for her. He was too controlling, too busy, too toxic. She had to break things off despite what the society would say.

For the longest time after that, Y/N closed herself off. She only left her dorm to go to her classes, occasionally going to the nearby diner with her girlfriends to ger food and then back into the dorm. The happy go-lucky girl who loved to party on the weekends was lost somewhere.

It just so happens that the night her room mate literally dragged her out of the dorm and to a party at some club she didn't care to know the name of, was the very night Grayson also attended his very first 'college party' per say.

Grayson Dolan had never been to frat parties in his life because he never went to college but had definitely heard great things from his sister and some friends that went to UCLA. One of those friends had invited him and his brother to the party his friend was throwing and Grayson was not gonna let the opportunity pass.

So what if he didn't go to University? He could still say he knew what college parties looked like!

So it was on one of the three outdoor patios at Q's Billiard Club that Grayson and Y/N first saw each other. She was there because the loud music was starting to make her head ache (she'd gotten a little too used to the usual quiet of her dorm room). Grayson was there to catch some fresh air, the tightly packed club was making him a little claustrophobic. And it wasn't like they were the only two people outside that night, but still both of them couldn't stop their eyes from going back to each other.

Y/N had noticed the new face among her friends' group when everyone had gathered around the pool table and how could she not? His bright smile and loud laugh were both extremely hard to miss. She had noticed how charismatic and magnetic he was and she'd be lying to herself if she said her eyes didn't search for him while she was inside just so she could see him smile once again.

There was just something about that smile..

Grayson had also noticed her when she had been talking to some guy, smiling from ear to ear as one hand played with the ring on her little finger. She was beautiful. He could tell that much even under the horrible lights of the club but now that she stood just few feet away from him, he could really see how beautiful she was.

Jesus Christ.. he'd thought, she had such beautiful dark long hair, big doe eyes with long lashes adorning them, thick eyebrows framed her exotic face beautifully and let's not even talk about the 'voluptuous' lips, as he likes to put it. That sharp bone structure could cut a loaf of bread and he couldn't stop himself from stealing glances her way. Usually Ethan is the shy one, but that night, Grayson would swear cat had got his tongue. The poor guy was sweating bullets, trying to find something to strike up a conversation with Y/N, but whenever he would open his mouth to say something, his nerves would get the best of him and he would eat his words before they had the opportunity to come out.

She eventually went back inside, making Grayson curse under his breath for losing his chance to talk to her. Little did he know he'd be getting introduced to Y/N very soon by their common friend, Ashton. Bless his soul.

The majority of the night, Y/N and Grayson spent together, talking about everything from their aim in life to freaking politics. She was extremely intelligent and he was a great listener along with having an interesting mind. Neither could stop themselves from getting infatuated with the other.

After that night, they met again at next weekend's party, then the next one and the next one. Grayson had started counting the days untill Saturday, when he could see her again.

Y/N, on the other hand, was starting to get wary about these meetings because she knew she was starting to really like him and that's what she couldn't allow herself to do. She knew getting involved with Grayson would only lead to heartbreak because there would never be a future with him. But she didn't have the the will power to stop seeing him either.

Ultimately, she decided she would not think too much and let the chips fall wherever they may. She really liked Grayson and Grayson really liked her and if she was lucky, things would not get too serious to the point where she'd have to rope in her family.

This would be her little secret, that's all.

Only, that's not all. And her little secret would not be so little. What was only supposed to be just two friends-who-knew-they-liked-each-other hanging out, turned into a three year long serious relationship. What was only supposed to be a crush she thought she'd get over eventually, turned into something so much more serious and permanent.

Y/N fell head over heels in love with everything that makes up the man that is Grayson and don't think she didn't try to stop those feelings in their track!

In the three years they were together, they took a break three times, the first time because Grayson was afraid what his fans would do to her if they found out. The second time because of what Y/N's family would do to her if they found out and the third time was solely because Y/N didn't know what to do about the situation she had trapped herself in. (But they obviously found their way back to each other!)

The poor girl loved her family more than anything else in the world and she didn't remember ever hiding something from either her mum or her dad. And while she knew that she wasn't wrong for loving Grayson, not at all, because loving him and being loved by him seemed like the most right thing she'd ever done, but the fact that she was hiding her relationship from her parents for three years definitely gave her multiple sleepless nights.

She tried to tell them several times when things were getting serious between her and Grayson, but everytime she would chicken out because she wasn't ready to choose between her family and the love of her life. She knew her family would never accept him no matter how perfect he was because he didn't share the same cultural background as her and she knew that if she chose him, she would be disowned within a second.

If someone would have asked her to choose between any guy and her dad even two years ago, she would have chosen her father in a heartbeat. There was even a time in the early stages of her relationship where she had made those cute little 'open when' cards for Grayson, giving them to him on their one year anniversary. She had gotten the idea off of pinterest and she remembers hesitating while making the 'open when you're getting married' card because she was so sure she wouldn't be the one that'd get to marry that amazing man.

Y/N knew there was zero way she would get to have Grayson as her husband no matter how much she prayed for it, so she didn't know what to write in that particular card. After going over words and crumbling four pieces of paper, she finally wrote just five words in the card and folded it shut with teary eyes. Grayson had a tendency to misplace things and there was a high chance this card would never even be opened by him, but she still made it and gave it to him.

Now fast forward to two years later, Grayson stood before her with one knee bent, holding a beautiful diamond ring with both hands and saying the most beautiful speech while she stood infront of him, absolutely bawling her eyes out and covering her mouth in shock. It was the eve of her birthday and she had just gotten off the phone with her family, during which Grayson had stood silently to the side, making sure to not make a single noice because he couldn't risk being heard by your parents. The proposal had come as a total shock to Y/N but there was no doubt in her head that she had to say 'yes' when she saw him getting down on one knee and flashing her favourite smile in the entire world to her. She didn't think about how she'd tell her family that she was freaking engaged, or about how they'd react to having Grayson as their son in-law, or if they'd even want to see her after she'd break the news to them. All she knew in that moment was that Grayson was her man, the love of her life. No other man could ever take his place and she just had to make him officially hers. Staying away from him was out of the question. She'd tried that and failed miserably. At this point, she knew they were meant to be together, that's all she cared about.

"Yes," she'd breathed, a choked sob escaping her lips when a tear rolled down Grayson's cheek. She got down on both knees in front of him and launched herself into his arms. "Yes, yes, I will marry you!"

He had not wasted a second in taking her face in his hands and kissing her lips with everything he had. They had each other, that was enough for now.

That year when she'd gone home for her Diwali, she had asked her mum and dad to sit with her and with a pounding heart and shaky breaths, she had finally told them about Grayson. She was very aware that this would be her last diwali with her family but she knew her love for Grayson was nothing to be ashamed about. She hadn't committed a crime, she'd just fallen in love.

"I'm marrying him before new years, dad." Y/N had lifted her head up from her lap, pulling out from under her high neck top, the ring that she'd worn like a pendant around her neck. The sparkle of the diamond made her mother gasp. Her father sat in front of her, motionless, not even looking at her. She knew she had really hurt her dad and his teary eyes were making her heart break into a million pieces but she couldn't reach out and comfort him. She didn't have the right to, anymore. "Dad, trust me, he's an amazing man! You would love him if you met--"

"Tell her to get out of my house." He'd commanded her mother and stormed out of the room, without spading her a glance.

"Mum please--"

"Don't call me that! You clearly didn't think about your mum while you were messing around with that American--three years, Y/N?! You didn't feel ashamed of yourself?! And today you came here to invite us to your wedding?! How dare you?"

So yeah, she got kicked out of her house on the night of Diwali. At least she didn't get a slap to the face..? She just booked a room in a hotel near the airport, preparing to fly back to her fiancé at the crack of dawn. He was waiting for her with open arms when she came home the next day, letting go of her travel bag and absolutely crumbling into his arms. Her broken sobs were muffled by the fabric of his shirt as he held her head against his chest, placing kisses on her forehead every now and then.

"I'm sorry," he kept whispering in her ear, feeling awful for being the reason his girl got dsowned by her parents. "I'm so sorry.

"He didn't even look at me, Gray! Called me a disgrace!" The pain was unbearable. She couldn't breath, her heart seemed too heavy and the image of her father's pain stricken face kept roaming her mind. "They hate me, Gray."

"They are your parents, Y/N, they can't hate you. They are just mad. They'll come around eventually." He didn't know whom he was reassuring, himself or her. This isn't how he had imagined his wedding would be, with no family member attending from the bride's side. He really wished he could take some of her pain away, but all he could really give her was a promise to always be by her side through everything. He promised her he would never leave her. Never ever leave her.

They were bound by fate after all.

Just a day before the wedding, when Y/N was looking for the personalised cufflinks she'd bought as a wedding gift to Grayson, she stumbled upon a fat envelope on Grayson's side of the wardrobe. Opening it in curiosity, she found all the 'open when' cards that she'd made for him all those years ago. All the cards had been opened except for one.

Open when you're getting married.

The words were written in cursive on top of the card, the seal of it was still intact, meaning Grayson had really listened to her instructions, despite the curiosity nagging him everytime his eyes would fall on the envelopes. She didn't even know he had kept all the cards, Grayson tended to lose things easily.

Looking at the card, she remembered that day she'd sat down in her living room with all these papers scattered around her, doubting if she'll even get to marry Grayson. And now here she was, sitting in her future bedroom that she'd share with her soon to be husband. She would be marrying the man of her dreams tomorrow. And even though her day wouldn't be perfect because of the absence of her family, it would still be her day. The day she would finally be Mrs. Grayson Dolan.

Y/N took the cufflinks out of the wardrobe and held the card in her hand, walking over to Grayson's wedding suit that still hung on the hook of the wardrobe, just about of be taken to the venue for the wedding. Smiling with teary eyes, she slipped the card into the pocket of his coat along with the box that contained the cufflinks. It was a miracle that she found the card just a day before the wedding. It was all fate.

And the next day, while Grayson was getting ready, Ethan informed him that his almost wife had kept a gift in the pocket of his coat and had asked him to tell Grayson that. The groom had eagerly shoved his hand into his coat's pocket and found not just one gift, but two.

The cufflinks laid forgotten on the bed when his eyes fell on the card and he hastily opened it, finally getting to see what was written inside.

Just five words that brought tears into his eyes.

I hope it was me...

He smiled at the words, his throat tight and eyes filled with tears as he read the words over and over. Their love was powerful, they were meant to be together and together, they knew they could conquer anything. Yes, the path they had chosen to take was not an easy one, but he knew deep in his heart that things would get better.

And thankfully for them, Y/N's parents finally came along two years later. The cause of that was the little bundle of joy that Grayson and Y/N had created together. Things were starting to look up again, Y/N's dad was smitten with her little baby girl and her family loved Grayson once they got to know him. These days, her dad has been trying to get his son in-law into Cricket so they can watch together on TV when the World Cup rolls around. Grayson, on the other hand, has other plans. The Best Husband In The World is now set to earn the title of The Best Son In-Law In The World too, what with sneakily buying tickets for the whole family to watch the World Cup finale in the freaking stadium.

"I've got the best seats! He's gonna have a great view of the whole thing." He beams as she lays her head on his chest at night.

"You didn't have to do that, babe."

"Oh c'mon, he gave his freaking daughter to me, I know how hard that must have been now that I have my own, it's the least I can do for him."

Needless to say, Y/N's dad is over the moon, watching the match from the stadium with Grayson sitting beside him. Gray looks so cute and hot cheering for her country, she would definitely have pounced on his had they not been with her family, sitting among what looks like thousands and thousands of people.

But it's okay. They have all the time in the world for baby making. He's all hers just like she's all his.

#asks #anons #concepts #ethan dolan imagines

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dear-dr-kenzo-tenma · 5 years

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Doctor Kenzo Tenma - TV Tropes

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Monster

An Aesop: In-universe, he gives some of these.

Action Survivor: Dr. Tenma is initially an average person, insofar as a well-known brain surgeon can be average. The series' circumstances force him to become a hardened survivor.

Adaptational Attractiveness: In the manga, he starts off plain and downright funny-looking. The anime takes its cue from the later chapters' more adorable Tenma◊.

Adorkable: Before his badass upgrade made him stop being a doormat.

Adrenaline Makeover: Ahem.◊

All-Loving Hero: This is both a large advantage and similarly a large disadvantage to him because of the complex location on the Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism that Monster inhabits.

The Atoner: As kind-hearted as he is, he sees his absolute biggest mistake as being something he alone can fix. And despite numerous opportunities he gets where he could abandon his self-set mission, he refuses every time. Johan: (Seconds after killing Junkers in front of Tenma) I was supposed to die that night. You're the one who resurrected me, doctor.

Badass Pacifist: He can take a beating, jump off a bridge to avoid confrontation, and save people's lives while avoiding the police and criminals alike.

Beware the Nice Ones: Tenma is kind and righteous, but false accusations force him on a path to become much more assertive.

Barbarian Longhair: Subverted, he's not, by any definition, a barbarian. But by most persons in the series, his long hair is perceived as ugly.

Beard of Sorrow: He is normally beardless, but after he learns about Johan's true colors, he attempts to grow a beard and overly disregards his appearance.

Beware the Honest Ones: Tenma's idealism turned out pretty bad for his money-grubbing boss.

Big Good: This is particularly evident in arcs where he is offstage or not the main character. In keeping with his nearly messianic role, by the end, nearly all the characters would do anything to protect him.

Break the Cutie: By all accounts, he's sweet and adorable, but his entire life was ruined by the actions of a former patient.

Care-Bear Stare: He frequently does this, illustrating his initial idealism.

Celibate Hero: Post-Eva, although there is some subtext involving Nina that may avert this. In Another Monster, it is explained that he was still quite the celibate during his high school years and even purposely didn't get together with a girl who liked him (and the feeling was somewhat mutual) merely because he was friends with her (cheating) boyfriend.

Character Development: He begins as a well-respected, compassionate doctor. Over the series, he becomes more driven and relentless.

Cheaters Never Prosper: Averted, though not soon enough for poor Gillen's complex. He cheated on a test in medical school, which made him excel, and caused jealousy in one of his classmates. This acquaintance later becomes an important character.

Chronic Hero Syndrome: Despite his goal of hunting down Johan, he'll never turn down helping a stranger, even if the person's a criminal.

Clear My Name: Averted. His reason for hunting down Johan isn't to clear his name, but rather to correct the error he made in keeping Johan alive.

Combat Medic: "This is the carotid artery. Even a ballpoint pen could kill him, if you pierce it in the right spot."

The Drifter: Justified, since he was a murder suspect and has to be on the run from the police.

Expository Hairstyle Change: Starts off clean-cut, but gets progressively more disheveled.

Extreme Doormat: He used to be very submissive to his boss and his fiancee.

The Fettered: His beliefs frequently make him question his mission.

Forgets to Eat: Quite frequently. At other instances, he'll bemoan the lack of soy sauce in Western cuisine.

Friend to All Children: The good doctor loves children, and he is perfectly willing to help them. He even formed an Intergenerational Friendship with Dieter, a kid.

Friend to All Living Things: He saved a hurt bird in the time he was training as a gunmen. Later, when he was talking with a former friend to all living things, a finch landed in Tenma's arm.

Gentleman and a Scholar: He is a highly-accomplished brain surgeon and an incredibly caring and selfless man.

Good Is Not Dumb: Well, he's good, and intelligent. Heck, he's a brain surgeon. Beyond fitting the literal trope title, however, Roberto underestimates him at one point because of his goodness and pays for it by losing the use of his right arm.

Good Is Not Soft: While a genius neurosurgeon, he is nice, humble and compassionate. When Johan becomes a threat, he takes a level in badass and takes a journey to stop him. Also, he doesn't hesitate to threaten people with his pistol if their actions endanger one or more lifes.

Grew a Spine: He decides to stop being the doormat of his fiancee and his boss after seeing the immorality of both (the fiancee is not that evil, but this counts).

The Heart: Tenma is the moral center of a morally complex series.

The Hero: He is inarguably the protagonist, and he's very heroic, motivations and rumination aside.

Heroic Resolve: Kenzo has one in his battle against Roberto.

Hero with Bad Publicity: Wanted for the very murders that he keeps trying to stop.

Honor Before Reason: Though he cares about the "right thing" rather than any type of personal honor.

Hospital Hottie: He has a cute appearance, be well-groomed or not.

Humble Hero: He never takes credit for his good deeds and maintains that all people are equal despite conspicuously being better than everybody else in every imaginable way.

Hurting Hero: He's haunted by the actions of a former patient, who destroyed his life.

I Can't Dance: According to Eva, Tenma claimed to not be able to dance. They stood and held each other on the dance floor instead.

I Just Want to Have Friends: According to Eva in Another Monster, he was chronically lonely and thanks to his workaholic tendencies, he was unable to make friends other than Dr. Becker.

Intelligence Equals Isolation: His medical capabilities make him isolated among peers.

I'm Not Hungry: When he was captured by the police, he refused to eat for so long they had to put him on an IV. Which doubles as Fridge Brilliance, as he was trying to end up in the infirmary in order to get in touch with Gunther Milch.

Inconvenient Hippocratic Oath. All the more so (or not) for being an integral part of what he comes to be about after the first episode.

Incorruptible Pure Pureness: One of the rare examples of this trope being pulled off successfully. No matter how complicated things get, he retains his idealistic views on humanity.

Just in Time: He saves Reichwein, who came VERY close to being killed by Roberto, just in time in episode 30.

The Last DJ: Both played straight and averted, in short succession. His integrity makes him lose his job.

Last-Name Basis: People tend to call him by his last name rather than his first name, even when they've got to know him well—including Nina and Eva (though the latter is the one that does it least).

Looks Like Jesus: His long hair and stubble look make him somewhat similar to Jesus.

Magnetic Hero: He's kind, charming, and persuasive.

Manly Tears: He does cry, but it doesn't make him appear weak; it showcases just how horrible his life gets, in spite of how much he tries.

Married to the Job: Noted constantly, one of his fellow physicians tried to hook him up with other loves, but he was more focused on his job.

Messianic Archetype: To counter Johan's Antichrist

Nice Guy: He's very nice and will help even his enemies. This is both a blessing and a curse, considering how dark the series is. It gets him a lot of friends, but it also gets him into difficult situations.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: He helped Johan, and then he's framed for murder. Johan: I was supposed to die that night. You're the one who resurrected me, Doctor.

Parental Favoritism: It's mentioned in Another Monster that his father favored him, his youngest son, over his other brothers. However, his mother favored his two older half-brothers (who are unrelated to her) more than him.

Perma-Stubble: He grows one during his Expository Hairstyle Change.

Save the Villain: At first unknowingly, in the case of saving the young Johan from his asked-for bullet wound to the head. By the end, [spoilers] he does it again, this time intentionally, to defy Johan's point.

Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: Thoroughly believes this, when he decides to operate on Johan's brain-bullet and disobey the director's orders to ignore the kid and work on the mayor's cerebral-thrombosis. He starts doubting himself, when he sees what Johan has become.

Skilled, but Naïve: Tenma's a surgical prodigy, but it's not his relative inexperience with a scalpel that gets him into trouble in the beginning. It's his inexperience with another aspect of being a doctor: hospital politics.

The So-Called Coward: "Tenma the Weenie! Tenma the Weenie! He peed his pants, too!" Even more so considering the full story given in Another Monster. After the first time the other boys scared him during hide-and-seek, Tenma decided to go through it again in order to conquer his fear. What ended up happening was that they couldn't find him and thought that he just went home, so when one of the mothers told them it was time to go home, they left Tenma by himself. When they found him still hiding in the abandoned yard at night, they probably stopped picking on him simply because he had the guts to do all that.

Technical Pacifist: Although he has no problem pushing, kicking, shoving, and threatening with violence, he has a hard time causing harm to others even if it is to defend his own life.

Think Nothing of It: Does not like to take credit for his achievements, e.g. denying that he'd saved the Turkish district.

Thou Shalt Not Kill: A personal philosophy that looks especially interesting when pitted against his initial tantrums of, "These people need to die."

Took a Level in Badass: Early in the series, after receiving weapons training from an ex-mercenary.

Trademark Favorite Food: Heckel notes that Tenma thinks that any recipe can be improved with soy sauce. And if the fandom on Tumblr has anything to say about it, sandwiches.

Turn the Other Cheek: Constantly, over and over again. He does this to his fellow doctors, as well as his enemies.

Übermensch: By the end of the series, although he starts out as a very clear-cut Last Man. His personal beliefs evolve over the course of the series. He becomes less conflicted, and more willing to do what's necessary.

Unkempt Beauty: He looks like a hobo and still looks very well. Even most fans think he looks better with the hobo look.

Unwitting Pawn: Used, reused, and subverted. A lot of his actions, even his goal are propelled and encouraged by Johan.

White and Grey Morality: How he sees the world.

Wide-Eyed Idealist: Determinedly and stubbornly so. Tenma is convinced that all life is equal, and that everyone can be saved. His beliefs put him at odds with nearly everyone, as he's one of the few idealists in the series.

Wrongly Accused: The whole plot is to save Johan who framed him in the first place, though he's more concerned about saving him and less concerned about being proven innocent.

source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Monster

#just for fun #and reference #Kenzo Tenma #Naoki Urasawa's Monster #Dr. Kenzo Tenma #Dr. Tenma #Monster tv tropes #Dr. Tenma tv tropes #analysis #op

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myinconnelly1 · 6 years

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Snicker-Snack Picking up the Pieces

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,409

Andie rested while they waited for Bobby to show up. Between their various injuries and the state of the dead body, they were hiding it was best if they just stayed put. Sam continued to fidget uncomfortably as he thought about everything that had happened. If the cops showed up right now, things would be very bad for the group. They might let Andie go since she seemed like a victim with the bullet hole that Sam had put in her shoulder, but with Dick out to get them, even that was an unlikely scenario.

He also couldn’t stop replaying the time he had spent alone with Andie before they came to Dean’s aid. He wasn’t sure what that was all about. The way she acted toward him had never suggested that she was interested in him before, and even during the sex things were very disconnected. He looked over to the bed where he had laid her down, her chest rose and fell with the depth of sleep.

“Hey, Dean. Remember last time we met up with Andie, and you told me you thought she was sick? Did you ever figure anything out about that?” Sam asked the question tentatively, trying not to give too much away.

“She never said she was sick, just that she had been hurt. Why do you ask?” Dean looked at Sam, the lines of worry and suspicion never far from the older Winchester’s face.

“Well, I think you were right. I think she is sick. When I found her in the mirror she was feverish and doubled over in pain. And I remember her being like that when we last saw her.”

“Well, she seemed fine when you guys came into the room, at least until you shot her.” Dean offered. “What happened in between you getting her out of the mirror and coming here to get me?” Dean asked looking from his brother to Andie.

“Uh nothing,” Sam answered kicking himself internally for answering too quickly. Dean eyed him carefully.

“When we saw Andie last time,” Dean’s voice was strained and even. “She was sick like that and then we screwed, did the two of you have sex?” Sam couldn’t bring himself to look at his older brother, and Dean’s temper was almost to its boiling point when a knock sounded at the door. They both turned startled, neither one of them moving. The knock came again.

“You idjits need to let me in before I start to look suspicious.” Bobby’s voice sounded from outside the door, and both brothers let out a breath before Sam got up to let him in. Andie sat up a little in the bed, Bobby’s voice waking her. Dean looked at her, the hurt evident in his eyes, then gave Bobby a quick hug in greeting.

“Hey there, I’m Bobby Singer, and you are?” Bobby asked taking in the tension in the room, and Andie’s physical state.

“Andie Neale, hunter and walking bullet magnet for Sam Winchester,” Andie said with a half-hearted smile.

“Oh, so this isn’t the first time he’s shot you then? So what kind of trouble are you boys in?” Bobby asked turning just in time to get a glimpse of Sam giving Dean a drop-it look. “I guess it’s pretty bad.” Bobby huffed. “Why don’t you two get that body and dispose of it. I’ll talk with Andie and we will make up some kind of excuse for the locals to buy into.” Everyone nodded and went about their appointed task.

“Alright, spill it,” Bobby said as soon as the roar from the Impala’s engine was gone.

“What are you talking about?” Andie said pouring herself a shot of the alcohol that Sam had poured on her.

“Sam and Dean. And you. Where do you fit into this and why is Dean looking bullets at Sam, while Sam can barely look at Dean at all?” Bobby was a no-nonsense kind of person and Andie respected that.

“I fucked both of them,” Andie said quite calmly. “Dean first, and a few times over the last several months, Sam just before we called you. Last time I saw the boys Dean tried to tell me he was falling in love with me. I am poison and not good for either man.” Andie finished looking away from Bobby.

“Why would you sleep with both of them?” Bobby asked completely taken aback by the ease that she answered him with.

“It’s complicated but the gist is that I'm sick. I literally need sex, or I will go crazy or possibly die. I had been trapped in a mirror for days, and Sam was there able to help me. He didn’t want to be with me, and I didn’t want to be with him, but that is my life. I make the best of it.” Andie gave a sour laugh before walking away from Bobby to where the blood had pooled from the fight. Bobby stood there stunned. He had heard about sex magic and curses, but he had never actually talked about them or ever met someone who was afflicted by one.

“What happened to make you this way?” He asked trying to get to the center of the situation so that everyone would be in the best possible place after. Andie seemed to take him in for a minute, then put her hands on her hips.

“When I was eighteen I fell in love. He was the most intoxicating person I had ever met and I felt like I would die without him. I wasn’t far from being right. Three years into our ‘relationship’ I found out I was pregnant. I had the natural reaction of every twenty-one-year-old I freaked out and then was excited when he told me it was the best thing ever. Three months later I figured out he was an incubus and this was just part and parcel to his whole sha-bam.” Andie pulled her clothes apart some, showing the jagged scar that ran along her hip line.

“I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after I stabbed the little demon out of myself.” She had hot tears streaming down her face.

“I think it was the only reason that I didn’t die and why I’m not with him anymore. Being separated from him for a long enough time disconnected me from his poison, but I was never the same. See my body was used to the constant rush of the demon sex and now I crave it to the point of insanity. Fever, cramps, seizures if I let it go long enough. These are just parts of me now, and no one should have to put up with this.” Her voice was breaking at the end of her explanation, and it wasn’t until she readjusted her clothing and looked up that she realized Dean and Sam were standing in the doorway staring at her. They had heard at least part of what she had told Bobby.

“Andie…” Dean said softly. She turned her face away from him in pain and embarrassment.

“Do you need my help with anything else? I’m kinda in desperate need of a shower and a change of scenery.” She said harshly.

“No,” Bobby said, noticing that no one else was going to answer her. Andie pushed past Dean and Sam.

“Wait, Andie… You don’t…” Dean grabbed her by the arm as she walked by.

“Let go of me, Dean. You don’t need to pretend with me.” She spit his words back at him but he could see the anguish in her eyes. “I am not the girl for you. I don’t love you.” She pulled at her arm with a muffled yelp as it tugged slightly at her stitches.

“You don’t mean that,” Dean said letting go of her arm.

“I fucked your brother, didn’t I?” She all but snarled at Dean, and Sam’s eyes dropped to his shoes. “Don’t call me.” And she walked out the door without another word.

“It’s probably for the best Dean,” Sam said quietly.

“Shut up.” Was the only response he could give his little brother. His blood was practically boiling and his entire being deflated as the door slammed shut behind Andie.

“Listen to your brother, Dean. That girl is not in a good place and needs space.” Bobby said. “Come on, help me get this blood out of the carpet. The maid is going to hate us.”

@waywardbaby @destielhoneybee @snffbeebee @deangirl7695 @spnbaby-67 @maddiepants @tabrown2021 @ladywinchester1967 @woodworthti666 @miraclesoflove @tumbler-tidbits @emilyshurley @akshi8278 @mannls @wendibird @bobasheebaby @flamencodiva @theoneandonlymelol @chelsea072498 @donnaintx @justsomedreaming @supernaturalenchanted @supersassyprobablysad @prettydeaneyes

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fhujami · 7 years

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My other half | Chapter 11 [Sam Drake x Reader]

Pairing: Reader x Original male character, Samuel Drake x Reader

Words: 2442

A/N: Cursive words between ‘these’ are your thoughts.

Tags: @jodiereedus22 @random-aya @dragonjedihobbit @missdictatorme

A/N: Oh god this was so hard chapter, because I made couple huuuuge changes to the original plot what I have wrote (which i hope was not mistake and this isn’t totally shit now)

My other half

Chapter 1 - 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20 - 29 - Chapter 30 -

Chapter 11

Every lie will revealed in some point.

Sam lied to Nate. He was Nate’s brother and he lied to him. He kept himself in darkness for two years, came back into his life and then lied to him. Did he really think he never get caught with his lie?

What if Rafe hasn’t revealed his secret? What if you had found the treasure just the three of you? 400 millions in gold and jewels, half was suppose to go to Hector Alcazar, what Sam had done with that half if he wanted to stand with his lie? Would he have kept it himself? Would he after finding treasure revealed his lie himself?

There was so many questions in your head.

His lie has revealed, and so was Nate’s lie to Elena. Now, it was just your lie to become revealed. Maybe Jason had found out that already, your phone had broke down in the shipwreck, you can’t call him or anything. You needed to wait until you got back home - if you ever get back home - so you’ll find out has he found out that already. Would he forgive you?

The silence between you and Sam was deep and awkward. You just stared each other's, Sam looked at you with sadness and shock, he really thought you had some kind of feelings for him. And you did, but you were already with Jason.

The door got open and Rafe and his men came inside, breaking the silence between you two.

“Okay, we need to keep moving.” Rafe said as one of the military's came to you, take a hold on your armpit and leaded you out of the room, as Sam followed Rafe.

As you were moving forward, you let Sam do all the work to lead Rafe to the treasure. You tried to figure out your messed head. Why you felt like this? Sam was just a stranger, who had lied to you from the very first moment you two met, how could you ever trust him? But still, part of you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck and pull him as close as you just could. He was like a magnet who was pulling you towards him.

Even he was a lying bastard, you could still tell that he had a good heart. Deep down in his heart, his actions was to made good - to find their mother’s legacy together with his little brother. You didn’t blame him, he spend over decade behind bars, only thing in mind was to find this treasure.

When you reached to the some kind of ship graveyard, Rafe and his men started to prepare you to move to the next destination. The military who was with you, moved further, so Sam choose to act and help you to get your hands free, so you could run.

You looked how Rafe, Nadine and their men were focusing on to pack the trucks, you saw how Sam walked to you, and started to wrap open the ropes from your hands.

“What the hell are you doing?” You looked him under your eyebrows, as Sam tried to work with the rope as fast as he could.

“As fast as your hands are free, you could start to run away.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Hey! Drake! Get away from her!” You heard that military who just walked away from you yelling at you and you peeked behind Sam, seeing how he came closer to you, Sam tried his hardest to get your hands free, while the military came closer and closer, yelling at you and drawing others attention to you two.

You looked back at Sam, who shook his head as a sign that he needed more time to wrap your hands free. You saw how Rafe and his men were starting to come closer too and you tried to think what you could do.

“Run.” He said to you but you shook your head. He demanded you to run for second time but you shook your head again.

When the military put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, Sam landed his elbow to his nose and yelled you to run. And this time you did. You started to ran as fast as you just could, as you heard how the bullets started to whine around you, and somewhere in the distance you could hear Sam yelling you to run and not to look back.

And you didn’t, you ran as fast as you just could, and didn’t look back. Even you wanted to look back and see if Sam was running behind you, you didn’t, you focused on your steps as you avoided to get shot.

You stumbled to your feets when you were running too fast and you landed on the ground and you groaned from the pain. You heard a gun getting loaded and you turned to you back, and you sighed from relief.

“Oh god, Sully!” You gasped, as Sully lowered his gun.

“Jesus kid, are you alright?” He took a hold on your arm and helped you to up to your feet. You nodded and showed your already badly bruised hands, asking him to get the ropes off from you. Sully took a knife and helped you to get off the rope.

“So you came back with Elena? Or just you?” You asked while carefully trying your bloody wrists when the rope was finally out of your hands.

“She’s with Nate, where’s Sam?” He asked from you and you shook your head, while felt huge relief to hear that Nate was alive.

“He helped me to escape, I thought he was running behind me.”

And then you started to hear lots of explosions and gunshots not far away. You both looked how the ruins started to fall down and the disaster getting closer and closer to you. And soon you two saw how Nate was running for his life, when Shoreline truck was chasing him.

Sully grabbed RPG from the ground and shoot the truck, as you helped Nate to get up to the cliff. Nate looked at your bruised hands before he wrapped you into a deep hug. You hided your face into his shoulder and sighed deeply, while feeling his arms around you.

“I thought you were dead.” You mumbled against him as he smoothed gently your back.

“No cliff had killed me before.” He joked and chuckled and you hit him to the stomach. Always joking around even he would be dying. Part of you hated that of him, but on the other hand - it was pure Nate.

Soon you heard Elena’s voice as she run to Nate and hugged him, and then the troublemaker himself showed up. You hugged Elena as you let brother’s change couple words before you choose to move to the plane and get away from this island.

But Sam had other plans. He tried to convince the four of you to go after the treasure.

“How long we have been chasing this thing, huh? You and me. No offense to these guys… But they don’t get it.” He stepped closer to Nate, who looked at Elena, Sully and you in turns.

“Actually Sam… They do. They really do.”

You could see the hurt in Sam’s face when Nate gave him back the note. You felt kinda bad for Sam. This was all he dreamed about for the last fifteen years.

“Trust me, they’ve seen this… kind of obsession before.” You lowered your gaze and nodded. Nate was right, you and him were the same years ago. You kept going even you didn’t need to. And that same obsession had made you to come here now. Not the obsession of treasure, but the obsession of having adventure.

Finally Sam nodded and turned to Sully, asking where the plane is.

Soon you saw Sully’s plane on the distance on the dock and you were so happy to see your getaway. You can finally get away from this goddamn island.

With the help of Nate, four of you were sliding in a skyrail to the other side of the huge cliff between two platforms. You laid down to the rail and yelled to Nate to got up, as Sam laid next to you to help to get Nathan up to the skyrail.

But when Nate stepped to that skyrail - it was like Nate’s touch was truly cursed, he always manage to broke everything he hanged - the skyrail collapsed and three of you were hanging on it.

Nate jumped to the left where you were originally going, and you manage to jump to the other side with Sam, when the skyrail finally broke down for good. Nate told you to jump to other side so you could keep moving, but Sam stopped and looked at the mountain. You knew what he was thinking.

You tried to convince Sam to jump over the cliff with you, among with Nate, but he wouldn’t listen to you, neither of you. He had choose to go after the treasure. When he finally started to jog towards the mountain, you brushed your fingers to your hair and sighed deeply. You can’t let him go by himself.

You looked the way Sam had just jogged, before you turned to look back at Nate, and he knew what you were going to do.

“No, no, don’t even think about it for going after him alone!” He yelled at you, offering his hand, asking you to jump. You shook your head to him, you could not let him to run to his own death, or that Nate would lose his brother again.

“I bring him back before he reaches the mountain!” You yelled back and turned to run after Sam, and didn’t stop even you heard Nate,Elena and Sully yelling after you.

‘What the hell are you doing [Y/N]? You think you can change his mind?’ You were just literally running to your own death too, you had no idea how you could change Sam’s mind and made him come back with you.

You ran after Sam, screaming his name as he kept jogging toward the mountain. You needed to run more faster so you could reach him.

“Hey asshole I’m talking to you!” You screamed, run to him, grabbed his arm and made him to face you, but he ripped his hand from your grip.

“Can you just let me go?”

“You don’t need to do this! You have nothing to prove! There is no reason to do this Sam!”

“Why should i turn back huh? There’s nothing for me! Nate hates me because I lied to him and dragged him into this and you -”

He stopped talking and swallowed. You looked into his eyes, there was little bit sadness in them, while you waited him to complete his sentence, even you were sure what he was going to say.

“There’s no reason to come with you.” He said, while his eyes got wet when tears were pushing through. “I bet your fiance is desperately waiting for you to come back home.”

You felt bad for him. You wanted to give him a reason to go back with you, and not to walk to his own death. But you couldn’t. You loved Jason. If things were different, maybe you and Sam could be together. He just entered to your life in a wrong time. And you didn’t want to feel him more bad, to let him know that he wasn’t standing with his feelings alone, because you were not going to act how your feelings were telling. You didn’t want to give him false hope.

You wanted to be friend with him when you get back home, if he just wanted that too.

“You are Nate’s brother. He does not hate you. He just got you back after so many years, he does not want to lose you again.” You said to him while looking deep into his eyes. Sam wished you could give him another reason to turn back.

“That is not enough…” He whispered and swallowed his tears.

You looked deep into his eyes. You wished everything would be in different way, if he has just came back to Nate right after Rafe got him out of prison… Maybe you hadn’t been with Jason then yet, maybe your and Sam’s destiny's had entwined back then and you'll be with him.

But now it was too late. You felt sad because of it, but you couldn’t threw away what you had with Jason - if you even had anything anymore.

Your head was so messed up. You had no idea what you wanted. You wanted Jason, but you didn’t want to get married. And the fact was that you also wanted Sam - even you barely even knew him and you didn’t want to admit those feelings to yourself at first.

And you didn’t think it at all, when you wrapped your hands around Sam’s neck and pushed your lips against his, pulling him closer to you.

Sam shivered when he finally felt your lips on his. He hesitated for a while, before he wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you even closer to him. He didn’t want to left no space at all between you two.

When you finally realized what you were doing, you pulled away from the kiss and stepped further from him, while putting your fingers to your lips.

“I - I’m sorry.” You lowered your gaze to the ground while hiding your face in your palms.

Sam saw that you really weren’t sure what you wanted. So he wanted to made it easy for you, and he quietly started to walk backwards, heading to the mountain again. He didn’t want you to need to choose, you were already with someone else, you were getting married. Even that he was having feelings towards you, he didn’t want you to throw your future away because of him. He didn’t deserve you, you deserved much better than him.

When you finally raised your head from your hands, you didn’t saw Sam anywhere.

“Sam?!” You screamed and started to move forward, looking for him. You didn’t notice his footprints on the ground, so you turned on the wrong way, which was actually much easier and shorter way down than what Sam had chosen.

You stumbled down the mountain, once in awhile yelling for Sam, before the front of you there were a couple of Shoreline military. They noticed you before you manage to hide, so you raised your hands up and sighed deeply, knowing that you will die in this goddamn island.

#fhujamiwritings #My other half #sam drake x reader #samuel drake x reader #sam drake #samuel drake #reader #fanfic #fanfiction #uncharted 4 fanfiction #samuel drake fanfiction

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