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#there’s a girl from MIDDLE SCHOOL that me and my friends always hate on bc she’s exactly like this

zukkaoru · 1 year

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okay but actually i think one of my favorite things about mob psycho is that. mob is very autistic coded, right? but he's just. he's a normal kid and he has so many friends and everyone loves him!! when he wants to get in the top 10 in the school marathon, no one tells him that's an impossible goal; they all try their best to help him train and encourage him every step of the way! he isn't the butt of the joke, and even when reigen does try to tell him he's misreading things and the people he thinks are his friends aren't actually his friends, that is 1. proven not to be true, 2. not portrayed as a funny haha joke moment, and 3. reigen faces consequences for saying it. mob is autistic coded, and no one treats him any differently for it. it's just one of the many things that makes mob who he is, and no one dwells on it. and it's so nice to see a character who, in pretty much any other show, would be an awkward loner and a loser and an outcast, have so many real friends. mob isn't popular, he's awkward, he doesn't always read situations correctly, he's a middle school boy who has never fit in with his peers. but he has so many friends and so many people who care about him and maybe he's not the most popular boy at school but he has more real friends than tsubomi, who is clearly the most popular girl, and at the end of the day, popularity doesn't matter. being happy does, and mob is happy. like,, it's refreshing to see a school friend dynamic where there's a middle ground between "popular" and "social outcast" and it's also so nice to see a neurodivergent-coded character treated just like any other middle school kid in the show. he's no different because of his autism. it's just a character trait

#mp100 #there was some post i saw abt how the best autism representation is always unintentional #and like i'm not autistic but i WAS a lonely neurodivergent girl who had three friends and hated my life in middle school #and mob's experience at school makes that girl inside of me so so happy #he isn't forced to be lonely because he's neurodivergent or because he's different from his peers #he has friends who care about him not in spite of but BECAUSE of the things that define who he is #and it's so nice to see #bc so much of media would isolate a character like mob and his peers would make fun of him and no one would really like him #(like we see in the mogami arc)#but that's NOT mob's experience!! and it isn't even because he has powers!! it's because he's surrounded by good people #and it's so nice #anyway idk if this makes sense i just have feelings lol #shigeo kageyama #hello grace here

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prdx-invdr · 2 months

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୨୧⸝⸝﹕it’s salty in the middle of those sweet moments.

SUMMARY! for reasons unknown to him, you seem to absolutely hate lee anton. on several occasions, he’s tried to hate you right back, but found that it can be difficult to dislike someone when you’re completely infatuated with them.

PAIRING! lee anton x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, swim team!au idk what to call it actually but anton and reader are both captains, fluff, angst (kinda), (one-sided) enemies to lovers WC 6.6k

WARNING! swearing, reader is mean to anton for a while, miscommunication, i have no knowledge of swimming as a sport and had to do a lot of research for this one so sorry if this contains some inaccuracies, not proofread

NOTE! when anon requested this i jumped out of my seat bc rivals to lovers with anton was my very first wip on this acc but i scrapped it and this gave me an excuse to write abt it again

anton thinks the world of you while you think nothing of him. he’s unsure of how someone he thinks of so highly could hate him so much, and he’s even more unsure of how he could still be so enamored by you despite knowing that you feel the exact opposite way about him.

he gave up on trying to understand the root of your hatred towards him long ago.

at first, he assumed that you were just jealous of the fact that the boy’s swim team had a bigger budget than the girl’s. this wasn’t anton’s fault by any means, but he thought that you might’ve been taking your anger out on him due to his position as team captain. the school administration seemed to simply favor the boy’s swim team over yours, and even anton knew that it wasn’t fair. the favoritism meant that anton’s team received better funding, which inevitably meant better… everything.

anton vividly remembers the glare that you’re always giving him only growing in intensity the day he and his team stepped into the pool area wearing their brand new goggles and swim trunks. he recalls the way the other girls on your team looked down at their own worn out swimsuits upon seeing anton’s team’s new attire, and he felt terrible. if it were up to him, he would’ve entered the room wearing the same faded blue swim jammers he and his teammates were forced to wear at the start of the semester if it meant you’d stop looking at him with such disdain in your eyes.

if this had been the reason behind your distaste for the boy, he would’ve understood. but the hatred you held for him extended beyond swimming, too.

“your hair looks stupid like that,” he hears you mutter from behind him. he turns around, an indifferent expression adorning his features to mask his nervousness.

the fact that you still manage to get the boy’s heart racing and his palms sweating despite your cruel words is baffling to him.

anton’s teeth sink into his bottom lip, wanting to retaliate but not having the slightest idea what to say. “my hair looks like this everyday,” is all he can pathetically exhale.

you’re still staring at him with a furrowed brow and he stares back at you, perplexed. he wonders if you have anything else to say to him or if you were insulting his hair for the pure fun of it. he thinks he’d be fine with either, because at least you’re talking to him.

he feels like slapping himself in the forehead at his own lovesickness.

after a few moments of silence, you scoff, signaling with your hand that you want him to move out of your way.

wordlessly, anton obliges, stepping aside and watching as you continue on your way to whatever class you have next. he notices merely seconds afterwards that the hallway he’s currently standing in isn’t narrow in the slightest, meaning you could’ve easily gone around him and still insisted on making him move. he wishes he could dislike you— he really does.

anton turns around to find sohee and seunghan now leaning against the wall, having observed the entire interaction between you and their love-struck friend. sohee looks at him pitifully while seunghan claps, slowly and sarcastically.

“don’t,” is all anton says to them, hanging his head. he knows that they’d like to drill another lesson into his mind about how he needs to stop letting you push him around like that, and he’s not in the mood for it.

“anton, my man,” seunghan sighs, putting an arm around his shoulders. “i get that you like her, i really do, and that she’s pretty and all,” he feels anton’s shoulders momentarily tense at his words, “but i don’t think she’s into you. like, at all.”

anton shrugs the older boy’s arm off, shaking his head. “i don’t like her,” he lies through gritted teeth. sohee and seunghan share an unamused look.

in actuality, the two of them were there to witness anton fall for you firsthand. when their younger friend first saw you and two of your friends walking through the quad area of campus, they watched the way his eyes widened and the way the oxygen left his lungs. they recall thinking that anton’s heart would burst out of his chest and fall right onto the grass below the three of them. his friends were in disbelief that anton was currently standing in front of them and denying his feelings for you when they quite literally saw him develop said feelings in real time.

when anton found out that you were captain of the girl’s swim team, it only solidified the way he felt about you. being captain of the boy’s swim team himself, he thought it was the perfect setup. he was too shy to nonchalantly walk up to you and initiate conversation, but he had the notion that swimming would make good enough of an excuse.

his hopes of becoming acquainted with you through your shared interest in the sport were crushed almost immediately. when he first tried to strike up a conversation with you, you sent him a scowl that intimidated him into walking the other way. on a separate occasion, he attempted to talk to you again, only for you to turn your head and pretend that you hadn’t heard him. he hasn’t tried to initiate anything ever since, the only time the two of you ever interact being whenever you glare at him or make a remark about him in passing.

he never found out what your problem was when it came to him, and he doesn’t think he ever will.

anton sees sohee and seunghan’s solemn faces and scoffs. “i’m serious, guys!” he complains, “you’ve seen the way she acts towards me. why would i like somebody like that? that’s like setting myself up for failure.” his chest tightens as the words leave his mouth. he only said that so his friends would drop the subject, but he knows that there’s truth behind his statement. the two boys only exhale disappointedly.

sohee purses his lips. “if she didn’t absolutely hate you for no reason, you guys would probably look good together,” he comments. seunghan nods, “too bad she’s got a stick up her ass.”

for whatever reason, anton wants to defend you and tell his friend that there is no stick up your ass— you’re only hostile when it comes to him. he realizes how pitiful that sentence would sound to sohee and seunghan and decides against saying it out loud.

“stop being hung up on that girl, anton,” sohee chimes, putting a hand on his friend’s arm, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea. you would know all about that, right? since you’re a swimmer and all.”

seunghan hits sohee in the arm jokingly. “he’s on the swim team, not a fucking merman.”

“he’s so cute, are you kidding me?” you hear rei practically squeal as you step into the locker room. she and jiwon are both already wearing their swimsuits, and the latter looks up upon hearing you enter the room.

“who are we talking about?” you smile, setting down your backpack. it’s late in the afternoon and you’re relieved to be done with your classes for the day, finally able to do what you love most.

“um,” jiwon begins, “no one in particular. right, rei?” your friend sounds a bit on edge as she turns to the girl sitting on the bench beside her, who shrugs. “we’re talking about anton,” she replies, earning a slap on the arm from jiwon. “ow! what the hell?”

jiwon watches as you halt your process of taking off your shirt, about to change into your swimsuit. she knew that your mood would turn sour at the mention of the boy; it’s a known fact amongst the members of your team that you hate lee anton.

“you think anton is cute?” you turn to rei, frowning. the girl lets out a huff of air, her bangs moving in the process. “i don’t see how you don’t,” she mutters, “and i don’t get why you hate his guts either. he’s super nice.”

you continue changing, the two girls looking away from you as you do so out of respect. “you wouldn’t understand,” is all you say in response. jiwon bites her lip, feeling bad for the boy. she’s seen it all— the fleeting, longing glances anton sends your way, and the scornful looks you send him in return. she doesn’t comment on it, not wanting to upset you, but a minuscule, intrusive part of her desperately wants to know what’s going on between you and the captain of the boy’s team.

rei, however, seems to know no boundaries. “would you be mad if i dated him, then?” she chortles, giddily kicking her legs. not facing you, she doesn’t see the way you grow tense at her question. you open your mouth to respond when a knock at the locker room door startles the three of you.

the door opens a fraction and you turn to see yujin pop her head inside. “are you guys almost ready?” she asks, scanning the room before her eyes land on you. “oh, hey, captain,” she smiles, eyes forming crescents. you wave, and the older girl continues. “coach wanted me to remind you guys that we have a joint training session today,” she clenches her teeth for a second, eyes moving to jiwon and rei who are wearing matching nervous expressions at the reminder. “you know, with the boys team,” yujin finishes, not daring to look you in the eye in fear of how you might react.

as captain of the team, you were curious as to why your coach would want to remind you of that, seeing as you were often the first person to obtain this information. upon deeper thought, you realize it was probably because even your coach knew about your hatred towards anton and wanted you to stay focused this time around rather than glaring at him every few minutes. you almost let out a laugh at the thought.

“you hear that, captain?” rei teases, “prepare yourself! don’t let anton distract you this time.”

you throw a towel in her direction, earning a grunt from her. “i should be telling you that,” you scold, “seeing as you’re obsessed with him all of a sudden.”

rei laughs, and you’re unsure of how to feel when you come to the realization that she didn’t disagree with your statement.

once you finally leave the locker room, you come face to face with your sworn enemy himself.

anton doesn’t look in your direction for as long as he normally does, memories of your interaction from earlier in the day flooding his mind. no matter how small of a gesture it is, your teammates take notice of it. “he’s not staring at you today,” gaeul whispers, shocked.

you only shake your head. “like i care,” you spit, crossing your arms, “i prefer it that way, actually. he should focus on his own team.”

wonyoung puts her hands on your shoulders from behind, lightly shaking you. “loosen up, okay?” she advises, her own eyes drifting over to anton’s team. as if on cue, anton looks over at you for a moment, watching as you joke around with your teammate. he wishes that you were even half as nice to him as you are to your team, wondering what it would be like to laugh with you the same way wonyoung is right now.

noticing anton’s preoccupied state, one of his teammates calls out to him. “captain!” anton turns his head away from you, looking his teammate in the eye. “yeah, taesan? you need something?” he inquires, getting back into his leader headspace. taesan looks over anton’s shoulder at your team, making the inference that he had been distracted by you. like always, taesan thinks to himself.

“do some stretches with me, yeah?” he says, wanting anton to fully dedicate himself to practicing instead of letting you pose as an obstacle.

anton is a good team captain— any of his teammates can attest. but it feels like anytime you’re in his presence, he’s only able to give 80% as opposed to his usual hundred, the other 20% being spent completely fixated on you.

he walks over to his dark haired teammate with a nod, agreeing to help him warm up. he thinks it serves as a more productive way to pass time than staring at you like a lovesick idiot.

“i was thinking,” taesan starts, copying the way anton does shoulder stretches to loosen his joints, “well, me and leehan were talking about it, actually. we should do a bonfire later, at the beach,” he tells the older boy.

anton licks his lips, nodding absentmindedly. “just you and leehan?” he asks, looking around the room for the boy in question. he sees leehan standing in the corner looking disinterested and waves him over. with an inaudible sigh, leehan reluctantly joins the two boys who are now doing tricep stretches. taesan shakes his head in response to the question anton had posed, “no, i meant, like, the whole team,” he corrects. “tell him, leehan,” taesan nudges his teammate.

“i hate stretching,” leehan murmurs, gaze aimed towards the white tiles beneath him. “about the bonfire, dumbass,” taesan deadpans. leehan perks up at the mention of something that he actually cares about. “oh, yeah! we’re gonna invite the whole team,” he grins, “it’ll be a blast, anton. you’ve gotta go.”

anton thinks it over, biting the inside of his cheek. “it’s already kind of late though, no?” he points out, causing the two boys on either side of him to groan. “bonfires are literally supposed to happen at night,” taesan comments at the same time leehan says, “don’t be such a buzzkill.”

“is the girls team invited?” anton can’t stop himself from asking, earning more groans from the two boys. “i don’t want to go through the trouble of inviting them,” leehan complains. “yeah,” his friend nods, “plus, he’s only asking because he wants their captain to be there.”

taesan’s comment makes anton come to a halt, and he’s now the only one out of the three of them no longer stretching. “that’s not true,” he defends himself, “i just feel kind of bad. i mean, we already have a bigger budget than them, and stuff.”

“keep telling yourself that, champ,” leehan grumbles. “we see right through you.” anton steps forward, looking at both of them simultaneously. “guys, seriously,” he says lowly, “i feel bad.”

taesan lets out a laugh, “right, you feel bad that you won’t be able to make heart eyes at y/n tonight.”

anton rubs his palm across his face, frustrated. “here’s an offer for you. you either invite the girls team, or…” he pauses, attempting to appear intimidating, “you’re not allowed to have the bonfire at all.”

the two boys scoff in unison. “you can’t just do that,” taesan snorts, “you’re our captain, not our mom.” anton scratches his head at that, disorientated. “look, i— okay,” he tries again, “i don’t know. i’ll buy you guys food, or something.”

it’s now taesan and leehan’s turn freeze in their places. “why didn’t you start with that?”

practice ends faster than you wish it had and you hoist your bag over your shoulder. you turn to jiwon and rei, about to ask if they’re ready to leave when you’re interrupted by two loud voices. “girls! hey!” you turn your head to see two members of the boys swim team— who’s names you never bothered to learn— running up to you and your friends.

“hey,” one of them pants, “don’t leave yet.” you look at your friends once more, studying their expressions that look just as confused as yours. “anton wanted— ouch!” the boy is interrupted by his friend slapping him on the arm harshly, as if he had said something wrong. “all of us, i mean, wanted to know if you girls would like to join us tonight,” the boy finishes, rubbing his arm while sending a subtle glare in his friend’s direction.

“join you.. in doing what, exactly?” you inquire, serious as ever. the two boys seemingly grow smaller under your intimidating gaze as if they hadn’t anticipated your somber attitude. “we’re doing a bonfire,” the other boy replies, pointing his thumb in the direction of the rest of his team. you look over the boy’s shoulder, your eyes landing upon anton, who is already looking at you. upon seeing your eyes scan over him, he looks away.

rei claps her hands together a few times, “we’ll be there! thank you for inviting us.” her words startle you and you open your mouth to protest. you had just been seconds away from telling the boys in front of you that you weren’t interested.

“yeah, count us in!” jiwon chimes, and you want the tiled floor below to swallow you whole. “you guys have fun, then,” you tell them, eyes swimming with boredom, “i’m going home.”

“no!” the boys in front of you shout in unison, startling you and your team. “you have to come. especially,” one of them pleads. “and why is that?” you put one hand on your hip, intimidating them further.

everyone already seems to know the answer to your question before the boys can even formulate the words to say it. “our captain wants you to.”

your teammates all but drag you to the beach against your will, uttering complaints about how you “need to learn how to have fun” and how they’ve “been waiting for something exciting like this to happen”.

within the first 5 minutes of your arrival, you’ve already tried to escape more times than your friends are able to count. wonyoung had to keep a tight grip on your wrist to ensure that you wouldn’t go anywhere, and you swear at the girl in your head for being stronger than she appears.

“i can’t believe anton himself told his friends to invite us just so he could see y/n,” rei mutters, astonished, “do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

“that’s definitely not the reason,” you deny, already wanting to drop the topic, “they probably just thought it would be funny because everybody on the planet knows that i hate him.”

and while taesan and leehan are most definitely aware of your hatred towards their captain, their reasoning for inviting you and your team really was because anton wanted to see you.

“invite the girls team!” leehan mocks, intentionally making his voice sound higher, “i feel sooo bad for them!” anton pays no mind to the way he’s being blatantly teased, his eyes trained on you. “feel bad for them my ass,” taesan comments under his breath, “he’s already making heart eyes at her, just like i said.”

“you’re a real masochist, you know that?” leehan adds, waving a hand in front of anton’s line of sight. the taller boy blinks in response as if he had broken out of whatever trance you had him under. “that girl doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she hates you, and you’re still, like, obsessed with her.”

anton sharply exhales through his nose, not needing another reminder of the fact that you dislike him and that he’s stupid for helplessly pining after you.

“i’ve heard that a million times,” he retorts, “and i’m not obsessed with her. in fact, i’m starting to hate her, too.”

he thinks that lying to his teammates is just as difficult as lying to sohee and seunghan, only receiving humorless looks in response to his statement. “right,” taesan scoffs, “you hate her so much that you forced me and leehan to invite the entire girls swim team just so you could see her.” anton lightly hits him with the back of his hand, muttering, “i told you that’s not the reason.”

all three boys turn to look at you, arms crossed and unamused. “oh, man,” leehan laughs, “she’s bored out of her fucking mind.” anton watches you carefully, your eyes burning a hole in the sand beneath your shoes. “why don’t you go talk to her, captain?” taesan teases, slapping his friend on the back boyishly. anton staggers forward about a centimeter due to the impact, looking back at the boy. “or anyone on the girls team, for that matter. since you made us invite every single one of them,” leehan quips.

but anton thinks that talking to you would only dampen your mood even further, and he doesn’t want the glare that you’re currently directing towards the sand to be aimed at him. “try talking to her, right there,” leehan points to someone in your general direction and anton follows his finger with his gaze, “naoi rei. she’s one of y/n’s closest friends, i think.”

taesan lets out another scoff, “yeah, but she’s not y/n. anton wants y/n, not the next best thing.”

jiwon and rei stand next to the bonfire, and you overhear one of them comment on how it isn’t as big as they were expecting it to be. you see wonyoung and yujin sitting on some large rocks a short distance away from the shore. you quickly scan the perimeter looking for gaeul, who you find sitting on the sand and looking up at the stars. your friends are all enjoying themselves— why aren’t you?

as per usual, you want to blame your discomfort on the fact that anton is in your vicinity. but how exactly could you do that when he hasn’t interacted with you all night?

come to think of it, your last interaction with the boy in question was earlier today when you told him that his hair looked stupid. you shake your head at the memory— you hadn’t even meant it. you actually liked his hair, but you’d rather drop dead than admit that to him. you hate lee anton with a burning passion, and you hate that you like his hair.

you hate that you’re currently sitting here wishing that he would come up to you and say something. after all, your friends dragged you here and his teammates made it seem as though your attendance was obligatory. the way you see it, the least anton could do after subjecting you to all of that is talk to you. you suppose that you can’t really blame him for not wanting to, though. you kick the sand beneath you at the realization.

you’re not sure how much time you spend thinking about the boy you swear to hate with every fiber of your being, but you conclude that a few long minutes must’ve gone by, because suddenly you look up and find that both your team and anton’s team are gathered around the fire. you watch them carefully, eyes wandering from individual to individual.

you see yujin laughing with some guy from the other team. you see the two boys that invited you and your friends to this very event. finally, your eyes land on anton, and you regret it almost immediately.

he’s nervously scratching the back of his neck the way you often catch him doing. he’s got a bashful smile on his lips as he looks down at whoever he’s currently talking to. you crane your neck to see who that may be, and find that it’s none other than your own teammate and friend— naoi rei.

you make a face of disgust that no one sees, and only then do you realize that you’re still standing a good distance away from the large group. “oh my god,” you scowl. you run a hand over your face, conflicted. you already hated being here, and seeing anton converse with one of your closest friends might’ve just made your attitude towards this whole situation a million times worse. you know that rei is probably over the moon right now, looking up at him with a twinkle in her eye and a girlish smile.

you want to be happy for her— you think that any good friend would jump at the sight of their teammate getting along with the person they find attractive— and you swear that you would be if the person she was talking to was anyone but him. you tell yourself that it’s because rei deserves better than him, ignoring the way your heart plummets. he was only going to chase after you for so long.

you shake your head rapidly as if it would rid your mind of the thought, not knowing where it came from in the first place.

you need to get out of here— asap.

you hate lee anton and you hate that you like his hair and you hate that you spent a decent amount of time tonight wishing that he’d speak to you.

you hate that you even care in the slightest that he’s currently flirting with your best friend and you hate that almost everyone here managed to convince you that he and his teammates invited you simply because he wanted you here.

you discreetly make your way around the group, advancing towards the shore. you don’t think anyone sees you as you do so, hearing the sound of their laughter grow more distant with each step you take towards the sea. as you continue moving forward absentmindedly, you don’t realize that you’re already knees deep in the water until a salty wave crashes into you, reaching the area below your thigh.

“what are you doing?” your head quickly turns to find the source of the voice and you scowl once you realize who it is.

of course, anton chooses now to finally talk to you.

you turn back around, ignoring him, because that’s how you are— you think about him more than you’d ever like to admit and act indifferent towards him once he’s in your presence. anton watches as you turn your back to him, unsure of why he assumed that this interaction with you would be any different from your interactions in the past.

nonetheless, with bravery that he didn’t even know he had, anton continues talking. “you could get sick if you go any further,” he blurts out.

in truth, anton had been watching you through his peripheral vision as he was conversing with rei, and saw as you treaded through the sand and into the water. he excused himself— he had been looking for a way to escape the conversation anyway— and followed your silhouette that was now standing in the ocean, letting waves collide with your legs.

in retrospect, he should’ve thought of something to say to you beforehand, because if the mere act of him talking to you wasn’t enough to piss you off, anton was sure that lecturing you about how you could get sick from swimming at night would definitely cause you to flip your lid.

his suspicions appear to have been correct, because you whip your head back around and give him an angry look. “what are you doing here?” you spit, expecting him to flinch and avoid your gaze the same way that he always does.

“why can’t i be here?” he presses, furrowing his brow, and you’re the one that flinches. “do you own the ocean?”

you’re sure that steam would be coming out of your ears right now if you were living in an old cartoon. you clench your fist, taken aback.

“why do you hate me so much, y/n?” anton pleads, unable to prevent the million dollar question from leaving his lips. this is a position he never thought he’d find himself in; confronting you about your unadulterated hatred towards him while your entire bottom half is almost completely submerged in the ocean.

your lip quivers and you clench your teeth as you feel your resilient facade start to crack. neither you nor anton are sure where his daring attitude came from, but it seems to be catching both of you by surprise, because even the boy in question moves to wipe his palms against his jeans to rid them of their clamminess. “answer me,” he demands, his voice as soft as it normally is and yet it still intimidates you.

you turn around for the forth and final time, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of discovering the root of your distaste towards him. anton shakes his head, although you’re unable to see it, and sharply inhales in preparation for what he’s about to do.

he cautiously takes a step forward, letting the water dampen the cuffs of his jeans. he cringes, but proceeds nevertheless, mimicking the strides that you had taken minutes prior.

before you’re able to prevent it from happening, anton is standing directly beside you, jeans darkening as the water seeps into them, and you nearly jump out of your skin.

the tall boy leans forward, and you lean back. “answer me,” he repeats his previous words in a hushed voice.

you’re looking down at the water that the two of you are standing in and anton thinks it’s funny, for a moment, how the roles seem to be reversed— you’re tense and apprehensive while he’s bold and collected, trying to crane his neck to meet your downward pointed gaze.

“you should know the reason why,” he hears you speak under your breath. you finally look at him, eyes narrowed. “you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” you question, and he recoils.

“i’m not— what? why would— why do you think i’m making fun of you?” anton sputters, genuinely appalled at the accusation. he’s unable to wrap his head around what kind of thoughts might be running through your mind right now.

“because there’s no way in hell that you don’t know why i hate you, lee anton,” you say, words flying from your mouth hurriedly. “there’s no way you just let me push you around and stare at you like you’re the scum of the earth if you don’t know the reason why. you have to know,” you look into his eyes in search of an answer but you’re only met with confusion.

anton shakes his head. “i don’t know, y/n,” he begins, “i really don’t know, and i’m sorry if you think i’m playing a prank on you right now, but i’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

he looks down momentarily, his eyes landing on his wet jeans. when he looks back up, he’s zoned in on the way the moon makes your eyes look as though they’re sparkling, and he thinks it’s beautiful. “you may know this already,” he starts speaking again, “but i’m in love with you.”

he makes sure not to stutter or appear anxious in the slightest, afraid that if he made the slightest mistake, he’d try to prevent the words from leaving his mouth. and he needs you to know.

your lips part, his words shocking you more than anything else that has taken place tonight. “i’m always lying to my teammates and my friends, saying that i don’t like you because they think i’m insane for chasing after someone who wishes i didn’t even exist,” anton continues, his tone becoming sorrowful, “but i can’t lie anymore. especially not to you.”

by now, both of your hearts are pounding, and you’re sure that they would be audible if it weren’t for the sounds of the waves crashing. “so, no,” he says, “the reason i let you push me around isn’t because i know why you hate me. it’s because i’m in love with you, and no matter how hard i try, i can’t stop.”

he waits for you to respond, eyes trained on yours. you finally start speaking, lowly and carefully. “there was this guy,” you tell him, “you used to hang out with him last year. i would see you and him laughing together all the time, with two other friends of yours.”

taking in your words, anton ponders who you could be referring to before his eyes widen slightly. “wonbin?” he asks, although he has no doubt in his mind that you’re talking about his older friend. wonbin, seunghan, sohee and anton were practically attached at the hip during the latter’s freshman year of college, and when wonbin made the decision to drop out in order to pursue a career in music, the other three were left to fend for themselves.

you scoff, despite wanting to contain your hostility towards the boy after his confession. “i don’t know his name,” you mumble, “but yeah, that’s probably him.”

anton nods, urging you to continue. he’s finally going to find out why you’ve disliked him for as long as he can remember and he doesn’t want to waste a second. “he told me that you liked me,” you say, watching as the boy flinches in your peripheral at your words. “and i was so happy at the time because i liked you, too.”

it’s anton’s turn to be stunned by your confession, not believing the words that are coming out of your mouth. “i would always look at you, but you’d never look at me back. when your friend— wonbin, i guess— told me that you liked me, i thought that meant you would talk to me,” you shake your head at the memory, “but you never did. it was like i didn’t even exist to you.”

you keep talking, quietly, “every single person who knew me knew that i liked you. one day, i saw you guys laughing together like you always did, and then it clicked in my brain.” you’re silent for a moment before you continue. “i figured that you must’ve known that i liked you, too, and told your friend to say that to me as some sort of cruel joke.”

anton is yet again appalled at your words. “you only seemed to start caring about my existence at the beginning of last semester. you tried to come up to me a few times, and i always assumed it was because you were finally feeling bad about the whole wonbin thing and wanted to apologize, and i didn’t want to hear it. it was around that time that i started hating you.”

you scratch the back of your neck, not having thought that you’d ever admit any of this to the boy standing beside you. anton swallows before he thinks over his next words. “i didn’t know about any of that,” he assures you, and he can sense that you doubt his words momentarily because he starts talking faster. “i’m not sure what prompted wonbin to say that to you, but i can tell you this,” he whispers, “i’ve been in love with you from the very first time i saw you, and no amount of insults or glares from you is ever going to change that.” for a moment, even the waves of the ocean seem to still, leaving only the sound of anton’s voice ringing in your ears.

you’re not used to feeling this vulnerable, and the fact that you’re sharing a moment like this with lee anton— the man you (no longer) hate— sends a shiver down your spine. you find yourself searching for a sense of familiarity, even if it comes in the form of playful banter rather than the usual insult.

“say that again,” you tell him, and he’s unsure if you’re being serious at first. when silence lingers in the air, he finally begins speaking. “i’ve… been in love with you since the first time i saw you,” anton says, unsure. you shake your head, displeased.

“put it in the present tense,” you purse your lips, crossing your arms. anton lets out a curt laugh, now realizing that you’re actually joking with him. so this, he thinks, is what it feels like to laugh with you. “i’m in love with you, y/n,” by now, he’s adorning a smile that reaches his eyes, head slightly tilted towards the ground bashfully.

“wanna know something, lee anton? i think i might be, too.”

weeks later, you’re swinging open the doors to the pool area, the smell of chlorine crashing into you as you step inside.

the boys team is in the middle of practicing, leehan and taesan— who’s names you finally learned after enduring weeks of their relentless teasing, always having to hear a complaint from them about how their team captain is even less focused than before since the two of you started dating— spotting you almost immediately. they let out exaggerated groans, knowing they now have to witness you and anton grossly interact.

“captain!” taesan calls out with dread lacing his tone, “your girlfriend is here.” upon hearing that, anton, who is currently in the pool, whips his head around so quickly that you’re almost positive he could’ve gotten whiplash. you wave, and rather than exiting the water, he swims over to where you stand on the poolside. looking up at you, he smiles, slightly out of breath. “hey, lovely,” he says, removing the goggles from around his head so he can study you better.

he pays no mind to the sounds of his teammates gagging in the background, not looking anywhere but at you.

to say that both your team and anton’s team were surprised upon hearing about your blossoming relationship with the boy would be an understatement. not only did both teams have to grow accustomed to the fact that you no longer hated anton, but they also needed to get used to the mere concept of you two dating each other. it wasn’t as though you two no longer served as distractions to the other, however— if anything, you both stared at each other even more than you had previously, the difference being that now you looked at anton with adoration in your eyes rather than resentment.

“i don’t know if seeing you two together makes my heart want to explode with joy, or if it makes me wanna throw up,” you recall rei telling you during practice one day. anton has shared similar stories, stating that although both taesan and leehan are happy to see their captain in a relationship with the girl he’s been pining after, they hate the way anton apparently never shuts up about you during training.

you look down at the boy, flashing him a smile of your own. droplets of water threaten to fall into his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “hey,” you hum, “i won’t bother you long. just checking in.” anton shakes his head, water spraying the floor beneath you in the process. “you never bother me,” he says.

“oh, hush,” you wave your hand dismissively. “i’m serious. hey, can you come down here for a sec?” anton asks, gesturing for you to crouch next to the pool. you give him a suspicious look, morphing your lips into a tight line. “anton, i’m not letting you pull me in there.”

he shakes his head again, letting out a laugh. “i’m not gonna pull you in,” he tells you, and you still aren’t convinced. “y/n!” he whines, stretching the final syllable. you look to the ceiling for a moment, letting out a scoff before kneeling down next to the pool.

in a swift motion, anton grabs your shoulders and lands a kiss on your lips. it’s wet from the water of the pool and you pull away, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. anton is laughing as you swat at his arm, muttering something about how he got your shirt wet.

anton sees an opportunity in the fact that you haven’t stood up yet, fully wrapping his arms around your shoulders, nearly causing you to fall into the chlorinated water. his laughter only increases in volume, and his teammates don’t think they’ve ever heard him laugh that hard. you let out a yelp, feeling the water continue to seep through the fabric of your shirt. you struggle against his embrace, and he shows no signs of releasing you. “lee anton! oh my god— i hate you!”

you both know that you’re lying.

AUTHOR’S NOTE! this is my 30th time trying to post this but we move

#riize x reader #lee anton #anton imagines #anton x reader #riize anton #riize #riize scenarios #req #riize angst #riize fluff

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evilwickedme · 9 months

Text

When I was in twelvth grade my school brought in a trans man to talk about his experience and I wanted him to know so bad that I had changed my name and that I accepted him and I was weirdly jealous in a way I did not understand bc I was perfectly happy being a teenage girl, right? In eleventh grade I decided I wouldn't shave my legs for a year because I was sick of beauty standards and then my dad time me I was hairier than him so obviously there was something wrong and when I got diagnosed with pcos my parents dragged me to laser hair removal, and then reminded me I needed to keep going every few months. I kept going, even though I hated it. I miss my leg hair. When I was 15 I changed my name. When I was 18 I shaved my all the hair on my head off even though I'd always loved my curls because they were too damaged to deal with anymore, and when a haredi man approached me to ask me if I wanted to put on tefillin, mistaking me for a boy, I spent the rest of the week strangely giddy and entirely unable to take it out of my mind, even though he'd immediately taken it back. I used to say before I came out as bi that I was an ally and didn't want to speak over queer voices, and I said the same thing about trans people, but I kept feeling like I had some much to say, like this mattered in ways I couldn't put into words. I've wanted a hysterectomy for years, and was devastated to learn it's incredibly unlikely that a doctor would agree to perform the procedure, since I was a young woman.

I thought, again and again, about that man. He thought he was a lesbian for the longest time. He used to avoid gendering himself, even in an incredibly gendered language, had gotten so used to it it came naturally. His partner considered herself a lesbian, except for him. I didn't know how to feel about that. What does it mean to keep your identity static when the people you love change around you. Is it easy to accept?

I changed my pronouns to she/they, then they/them, then in Hebrew I said please pick either she/her or he/him but stick to one or the other, then I said stick with he/him in Hebrew, then I switched to they/he. I said I was a demigirl, then I said I was nonbinary but didn't feel comfortable being called trans, then I started applying the trans umbrella to myself, then I said was transmasc. Around me so many of my friends were transitioning, mtf, ftm, exploring using gender neutral pronouns before settling back on their agab, exploring gender neutral pronouns and stopping there. A friend of mine told me that they were jealous of me because I was so sure of my identity as a person in their early twenties, while they were thirty and only just discovering themself. Did I know my identity? I wasn't sure. Another friend told me, they're currently nonbinary but they could see a future where they detransition. I cannot understand why my mtf friend was so sure she's a girl, when I didn't know, I had no clue, I didn't know where to go from here.

I thought of that man again.

I wanted to take my tits off and put them back on again and take them off again, just to see how it felt. I bought a binder, I told my parents it's just to fit into my button up shirts. I hadn't worn a dress or a skirt since the year after I graduated high school. I stopped wearing bras. I wore a button up shirt and a blazer whenever I could. I tried to find myself in the performance of gender.

I changed my named when I was just about to turn to fifteen, and a teacher followed me from middle school to high school, and she asked me if I was still going by that, cause she wasn't sure if I'd meant it, if it would've stuck. It stuck for ten years, even as I asked myself, is this really what I want? Is this my name? Would it be okay if I changed my name again, is it allowed? I told everyone who'd listen it's okay to changed your name for any reason, at any time.

I don't remember that man's name. I don't remember most of his story. I remember picturing him walking around, remember wishing I could pretend I wasn't a girl just for an evening. I wanted...

Well.

#transmasc #genderqueer #trans #nonbinary #queer #lgbtqa+#gail speaks #or maybe.#daniel speaks #jew tag

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rrenzwrld · 8 months

Text

april 22, 2022

something i made for a scraped armin ff that i never posted..

i’m sorry about the scraps BUT it’s just until i write something new bc i haven’t posted in a while

i’m sorry again yall😭but enjoy!! <3

[ Y/F/P : your favorite kind of pizza. ]

You had liked Armin Arlert since middle school. But this was before his glowup that sent quite a few girls his way. No matter how many dates he went on or how many girls he’s kissed in that time, you were always in his sights. The only thing holding him back was the courage to let you know how he felt. And because he waited so long, he had to share you with the gaze of other men. Other men who’d brag about your talents in bed or your appearance that particular day. He hated hearing them speak about you as if you were an object and he hated watching you allow that to happen.

Although your feelings for Armin were strong, you kept them to yourself. In your mind, he was far to perfect to be in a relationship with you. You fell in love with his eyes, his smile, his aura until you realized none of those things were for you. They were for the girls who you thought deserved him. The girls who were prettier, skinnier, outgoing, athletic. The girls who weren’t hidden in the shadows by people they were dating or messing with. The girls that someone would be proud of. And you thought that wasn’t you. The guys that you’ve had sexual relationships with never mentioned being in an actual relationship with you, only wanting sex and pleasure from you. But this was routine.

The small nap that you were supposed to be taking lasted longer than you expected and night had fallen before you knew it. You sat up and stretched before rubbing at your eyes and grabbing your phone off the nightstand, which was filled with missed calls and text messages from your friends. You called them all back to let them know you were alright before getting up to get yourself something to eat.

“Damn.. I need to go grocery shopping.” You cursed yourself as you rummaged through your pantry. You looked back at your phone ringing with a facetime call. You answered it and propped up the phone on the counter against a container of sugar close to the wall.

“Girl why the fuck didn’t you answer me? You supposed to be sick.” Reneé said angrily.

“I am. I just took a nap—“

“A nap that lasted 5 hours?” You hadn’t even noticed that you were sleeping for as long as 5 hours, but you felt a bit rejuvenated and better than earlier.

“Yeah.. but I’m fine now. Not dead.” You said as you went through your fridge.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m hungry and I’m just now realizing that I haven’t went to the store. My pantry and shit bout dry as hell.”

“Well we can go to the store after class tomorrow. I need to go too that’s why I’ve been eating out— you want me to pick up a pizza?”

“Where you at?” You picked up the phone and walked into your room, turning on the lights.

“Jean’s… he’s gone now though. Something bout going to get beer or whatever. But who the fuck drinks beer?” You laughed at her comment.

“White folks.”

“You not wrong but… I’m coming over there and I’m bringing someone.”

“Jean?” You straightened up your room a bit, phone in hand as you talked, not really wanting to put it down anywhere.

“No you stupid bitch. Connie and Eren.” Your eyes widened, you didn’t have anything against either of them but you would have preferred if she’d come by herself.

“Why?”

“Because they wanna see how you were doing. They’re coming with Jean when he comes back so I’ll let you know.” You felt your whole mood shift.

“Okay.. well,” You sighed. “I’m gonna go so Jean won’t freak out when he sees you on the phone with somebody other than himself.”

“Girl bye. That nigga don’t own me. But I’ll see you later though. Bye~” Now that people were coming over, you actually had a reason to fix your house a bit, even if it was after 8pm.

“Yeeeerrrrr-“ Connie walked through the front door of your place with two boxes of pizza in his hands while Eren followed behind him with sodas and other things.

“Connie shut the fuck up, you know she got neighbors.”

“Shit, my bad..” Reneé rolled her eyes at him.

“Hey boo~” Reneé pulled you into a bone-crushing hug after you closed the door behind everyone and locking it. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just hungry right now though,” You walked over to where Connie had sat the pizza down on the counter. “What kind you get?”

“Pepperoni and Y/F/P. Probably should’ve got another box because you know how that fat ass over there is..” She was referring to Connie, who had made himself comfortable on your couch.

“I know. But he’ll be alright. Eren!” You called.

“Yeah?” You looked at the bags he was sitting on the counter.

“What’s that? Sodas?”

He nodded. “And liquor—“

“Whoa who the fuck said we was drinking?” You looked at Reneé.

“He said he was buying it ‘just in case’. But you can just keep it here for some other time.” You sent a glare Eren’s way, receiving a wink from him in response.

“Y’all gonna eat or what?”

After everyone had eaten, none of you did much of anything other than being forced to watch movies with Reneé. Only you and Reneé seemed to be paying attention as Eren tapped away on his phone and Connie getting high out of his mind.

“Connie, you ain’t tell nobody you had weed.” Reneé eyed the boy, watching him take another hit of the blunt he held. His eyes were red and lidded as he sat in the black loveseat, knees spread apart in front of him.

“Was I supposed to?”

“Bitch..” Reneé mumbled as Connie softly laughed at her.

“Reneé.” Eren looked up from his phone.

“Yes, Yeager?”

“Lemme use your car.” She looked at him like he was crazy.

“Uh why?”

“I gotta go somewhere real quick. I’ll be right back. Promise.” Reneé rolled her eyes before hovering the keys over the palm of his hand.

“Where you going?” She snatched the keys back.

“Not you clocking him.” You commented.

“Right. Thought yall wasn’t fucking anymore.” Reneé and Eren directed their eyes at Connie.

“It’s my fucking car—“

“Reneé. You gonna give me the keys or not?” Eren’s hand was still held out. You didn’t know where he wanted to go in such a rush but it probably wasn’t your business. You continued to watch the movie.

“I’ll take you wherever you need to go. I don’t gotta hand my shit over to you just cause you ask. Bring ya’ ass.”

“Stop telling me what to do.” Eren mumbled as Reneé let Eren out in front of her.

“Y/n, I’ll be back.” She said as she closed the door behind her, leaving you with Connie.

#aot #aot x reader #black reader #aot x black reader #connie springer #eren #aot eren #aot connie #armin arlert #armin x black reader #aot armin #armin arlet x black reader

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mykoreanlove · 4 months

Note

Can I ask one where the reader and Taemin were a couple, broke up and then decided to be friends , but Tae realized he can’t, bc he developed feelings for her again… thanks

“Tae, hurry up! I am starving!”

Your ex-boyfriend hurried up the stairs, your favorite take-out in his hands. “Jesus, y/n, you’re no fun when you’re hungry”, he mocked in a playful tone.

“Yeah, yeah”, you rolled your eyes and grabbed the bag of food.

It was a typical Friday night for you – after getting home from work, taking off your make up and switching into comfy PJs, you always ordered your favorite Chinese take out and ate it together with Taemin.

Years ago, this used to be normal since you were dating him. But now?

“Look at us. Who would have thought that we were better off as friends?”, you cheered happily.

He felt a punch to his stomach. Friends. Taemin was the one who broke your heart about a year ago because he couldn’t handle the intensity of your love anymore. It tore you apart while he seemed to be pretty chill about it. At least that’s what you had thought. He went on vacations, worked on new projects, and even dated around while you were crying your eyes out, ditching your friends and wondered if you could die from heartbreak.

You didn’t notice his changed saddened features and kept on explaining. “You know, back then when you broke up with me? That was the most horrific event in my life. I didn’t know how to be on my own anymore. We’ve been dating for so long, I just got used to being yours. And when you left me, it was hard. Oh, can you pass me the soy sauce?”

Taemin passed you the sauce without saying a word. He hated himself for what he did back then. He was immature and foolish and thought breaking up with you would be for the best. But it was not.

He was just as heartbroken and felt guilty for fucking up the best thing he had ever had in his life. Masking that feeling with vacations, work and other women only did so much.

“But”, you chewed contently on your spring roll, “I got over it and I managed to find a way to stay friends with you. I’m happy now.”

Happy. He was glad that you felt that way, after all he always wanted to see you succeed. But it tore him apart to be excluded from your happiness, at least in the romantical sense.

“Hey, I just read an article last night. It asked what you would do if you knew that you only had one year left to live. What would you do, y/n?”

This question caught you by surprise. That’s what you loved about him – you could goof around but talk about important, deep stuff as well. Taemin always wanted to know what you were thinking, what you liked and what made you, you.

“Can you pass me another beer while I think about it?”

He handed you another bottle and shied away at the touch of your fingers. Luckily, you didn’t notice his cheeks redden.

“Okay. I think I would quit my job and go on vacations for a while. You know all those places on my vision board from back then? I would take all my money and spend it on first class flights, luxurious hotels and once in a lifetime experiences. Oh, and I would take my friends and family with me, so I could share my joy with them.”

Taemin nodded contently. Typical, you always loved to travel, and you always cared for the people in your life.

“Oh, I would call all the people that did me wrong and I would tell them exactly what I think of them. Unhinged. Like the dick that blocked me after he fucked me? Or the mean girls in middle school that bullied me? Or my boss who scolded me for the mistakes of others? Yeah, I’d let them have a piece of my mind. For sure.”

You giggled happily, proud to finally get your vendetta. Taemin watched you and smiled. He always loved your savage side, but you rarely let it come out. He had no idea that all those experiences still lingered in your heart, but he was glad that you were ready to let go of them.

“And, if I only had one year left to live, I’d hope I’d be happy, you know? Knowing that you’re about to die is scary, so I wouldn’t want to ruminate over that. Instead, I would like to count my blessings and live each day as best as I could.”

You took another sip of your beer. Taemin’s eyes didn’t leave you once, he was glued to you. “Why are you looking at me like that? Tae?”

He snapped back to reality and apologized. “Sorry, y/n, I just got lost in my thoughts.”

You clanked your bottle with his and nodded approvingly. “I get it. It’s a tough question after all. So, tell me, what would you do?”

He took a deep breath before answering. Courage was all he needed right now, and he tried his best to gather all of it. Taemin scooched closer to you.

“I would do this”, he said and leaned in for a kiss.

His lips were still as soft as ever, even the touch of his kiss felt familiar. Your head was spinning, your body felt dizzy.

Taemin leaned back and spoke softly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Y/N, if I had only one year left, I would tell you how I honestly feel about you. Or rather about us. I made the biggest mistake when I broke up with you back then. I hated myself for it, still do. The truth is, I am in love with you. Always have been, always will be.”

Taemin could hear your heart pounding heavily and hoped that was a good sign. You looked flustered, which he didn’t mind. In fact, you were always the most beautiful in his eyes. Your eyes were glistening, intensely focused on his. Was that a good sign? Was there still a chance left for your love?

“Y/N?”

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manofmanymons · 3 months

Note

Can i give you an excuse to talk more about takuma x kaito? They are just so precious to me. It's one of my favourite digimon pairing ever.

Beloved anon, you have opened the biggest can of worms I even have to open. You know not what you have unleashed. That being said, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna start with a couple small silly hc’s I have about them, then we’re gonna work our way up to the things I have entirely too much to say about.

Also please know that my genuine reaction to finishing this ask and getting ready to post this was:

The sillies

They get in “I insist” wars sometimes, by which I mean they both always want to be the one to do things for the other. “Likes to take care of people” bf x “self worth based largely on his usefulness” bf. The end result is them just sneakingly doing chores for each other. In Takuma’s case, I like to think it’s bc that’s how his mom shows affection, and he totally gets it from her. With Kaito, it would start out as a “feels like he has to earn Takuma’s love because he doesn’t think he deserves it” thing but eventually turn into a “just really likes making Takuma smile” thing.

They stare at each other a lot. Takuma always does it on accident and usually for one of two reasons. Reason #1: he just likes looking at Kaito. Call him sappy, but he thinks his bf is very handsome and he likes looking at him. Reason #2: he’s trying to gauge what kind of mood Kaito is in before approaching him and completely accidentally stares at him for way too long. At first it creeps Kaito out a little and he’ll ask “the hell’re you looking at me like that for?” Eventually, though, he gets used to it and will pretend he doesn’t notice. Kaito does it on purpose whenever he wants attention but is too embarrassed to ask for it. Literally just glares at Takuma until he notices.

I don’t see either of them as the jealous type, but I do see both of them as the overprotective type. Someone looks at Takuma wrong and Kaito already wants them dead. Takuma gets very defensive if anyone other than Miu or Dracmon insinuates that anything is wrong with Kaito and WILL argue about it.

They’re both the kinda boys to ask “can I kiss you?” change my mind.

Neither of them have ever really done this whole dating thing before. Takuma has had a few girlfriends, but in the very elementary/middle school sense of basically just being friends who hold hands sometimes and get teased by their friends at recess—never in the “I am actually in love with this person” way. Kaito 100% one of those kids who always thought romance was stupid and made fun of other people for caring about it. Probably thought he was so cool for it, too. He didn’t even know he was capable of having a crush until Takuma happened. He’s mildly distressed at first that apparently everyone Takuma has ever liked before him has been a soft spoken, cute girl, but he gets over it eventually.

My dog just sat down directly on my face and I can’t see shit why did I let him onto my bed with me oh my god get him off of me HELP.

There was a time where Takuma was afraid to hug or even really touch Kaito at all in public because he was worried Kaito would hate it. Now he knows he can get away with it and is a menace. #1 hobby: making the bf blush and pout at him.

Takuma texting Miu for advice about what Kaito likes vs. Kaito texting Minoru to ask what Takuma likes. Miu and Minoru hate this but go along with it because unfortunately they love those idiots and want them to be happy. Technically Minoru promised he wouldn’t tell any of their mutual friends about Kaito being a sappy dork, but he never said anything about not telling Kaito’s sister.

Long thoughts

I think I said it before, but now I’m going to elaborate. You know the whole "fell first/fell harder" thing? Well I think Takuma fell first (but didn’t notice) while Kaito fell harder. Takuma knowing Kaito for like five minutes and already deciding he really likes this boy for some reason. They get through part 3 and now he really *really* likes this boy, but he mostly chalks it up to "I'm just happy he's here bc it means we are not all dead." Of course he's gonna kinda admire someone like that and want to get to know them better. And if he starts finding him cute and purposely seeking him out when he's nervous, well, that's just guy stuff.

vs. Kaito who’s stuck with this weird dude who won't stop staring at him and asking too many invasive questions, but he tolerates it because he's gonna need help to protect Miu and also not die. Except the more time goes by, the more this weird dude keeps being really nice to him, which is perhaps the weirdest thing of all. And he even seems to genuinely care about Miu and okay that's new. THEN he starts acting like how Kaito feels about things actually matters, and it kinda feels like a trap, but it isn't. And okay, yeah, maybe having someone pay so much attention to him is Not Terrible. Maybe being honest with someone other than his partner (who kinda has to like him) without being afraid of how they'll react is also Not Terrible. Maybe it's a little confusing why being around someone he trusts would keep making him feel nauseous and like the room is on fire, but maybe, for some weird reason, that's Not Terrible either. Maybe all of those things are even...nice. And if he thinks that perhaps he'd do anything to get this weird, annoying, invasive boy home safely, well, it's not...NOT because he loves him.

ALSO said before but would like to elaborate: I just love the idea of Kaito getting along really well with Takuma’s mom. First adult to not treat him like he’s crazy for getting stressed out over completely reasonable things like “my 11 year old sister is out past sunset and not answering the phone.” It’s kind of a nightmare for Takuma because his mother LOVES to tell the most embarrassing stories about when he was a kid that he was planning on taking to the grave, but it’s also kind of wonderful that his favorite people like each other so much. Plus, if being a little embarrassed is the price he has to pay for hearing Kaito laugh, it’s worth it.

Takuma’s mom to me has big islander mom energy, like she would instantly decide that Kaito is her child now after knowing him for two seconds. One time when Takuma was like 4 he accidentally killed a goldfish and now his mother does not trust him to keep anything alive. That being said, if Kaito gets sick or injured, Takuma’s mom will insist on taking care of him bc she doesn’t think Takuma can do it lol.

They ALSO get in the “I insist” wars tho lol like Kaito will try to help with the dishes and she’ll be like “nonsense, I’m the host, you just make yourself at home” but then Kaito will counter with “if I was at home, I would do the dishes.” It’s a battle of sheer stubbornness that either of them will win on any given day.

…Takuma reading that people tend to look for partners that are similar to their parents and at first going “pff yeah right” but then seeing that happen and going “oh no.”

And for my last thing I could talk a lot about…I dunno if I’ve ever just talked about why I ship it.

First and foremost, and I just really love their friendship. I mean, yeah, like everyone else who’s played this game, of COURSE I noticed that Kaito is constantly blushing while talking to Takuma, but that’s not really why I like seeing them together. I like how quickly Takuma catches on to the fact that Kaito’s a lot nicer than he pretends to be. I like how he notices that Kaito is a perfectly calm and rational person when it comes to anything NOT involving Miu. I like how happy it makes Dracmon that someone understands his partner so well. I like that the correct dialogue option for Kaito is pretty much always just to be straightforward and honest with him. I feel like it sets up a really lovely dynamic between the two of them where Takuma knows he can always be honest with Kaito, and Kaito can trust Takuma enough to take what he says at face value. Especially love it in the scene where Takuma is nervous, and if you pick the option to hide it, Kaito will get annoyed at him for wasting time standing around talking; but if you pick the option to tell the truth, Kaito will soften up and try to help him. I like how patient Takuma is with Kaito and how he never snaps at him even when Kaito’s being a little unreasonable or isn’t articulating what he actually means very well. I like how, for all his trust issues, Kaito straight up tells Takuma that he thinks of him as the group’s leader and depends on him. I think Takuma’s comment that hearing that makes him happy is super cute. Kaito insisting Takuma is wrong when he’s accused of secretly wanting to protect everyone, not just Miu, in early game vs him finally admitting it to Takuma late in the game. They’re just so comfortable with each other in a way that I find very endearing. Especially knowing everything Kaito’s been through, it makes me so happy that there’s someone he trusts so much and who is genuinely unconditionally kind to him. They’re so supportive of each other, and I am fully willing to believe that they really do love each other as friends.

THEN getting into the shippy parts. Still not emotionally over Takuma literally thinking that Kaito is cute. Still never letting go of him purposely complimenting Kaito for no reason just to see him flustered. Never letting them live down talking about how good friends they are and then REVERSE no-homoing the moment by explicitly saying they DON’T think of each other like brothers. What the hell WAS that? WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH KAITO FREAKING TF OUT WHEN TAKUMA SAID HE WAS HAPPY THEY MET ONLY TO CALM DOWN AND THEN GENTLY SMILE AND SAY “I guess it ain’t so bad if you’re the one saying it…Maybe.” WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. WHAT WAS UP WITH MIU’S REACTION TO KAITO STRAIGHT UP TRYNA TO MURDER TAKUMA THAT ONE TIME? GOING “AWWWW” AND SAYING IT LOOKS LIKE KAITO WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH TAKUMA INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE “BRO CALM TF DOWN.” PERSON WHO KNOWS HIM BEST IN THE WORLD SAYING THEY GET ALONG WELL AND IT LOOKS LIKE LAKFDJADFKJA;DLKFJALDKJA. The way Takuma looks and sounds so excited to see Kaito again in part 3 is literally the reason I accused him of falling first like he did not have to be THAT happy. PLUS THAT TIME IN PART 4 WHERE HE STARES AT KAITO’S FACE FOR SO LONG THAT KAITO NOTICES LMAO? GAYASS. His stupid little ^_^ after Kaito gets embarrassed in that scene too jfc you are NOT beating the allegations, Takuma. And okay time to circle back around to the blushy thing. If it was JUST the occasional .////. I wouldn’t read too deep into it because he literally also makes that face when Dracmon and Miu are nice to him, so I think Kaito just legitimately doesn’t know how to respond to affection. But it is CONSTANT and ALSO I think it’s sus that Dracmon always points it out. Like his partner KNOWS he’s gay panicking and is purposely drawing attention to it as a way of getting Takuma to notice that “hey this loser REALLY likes you.” I mean seriously WHY else go out of the way to point it out every single time. Also the stuttering. Why are you, as a serious, no nonsense, tough guy, stuttering so much when a cute boy is nice to you? You thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did.

They're honestly the most disgustingly fluffy corny schoolgirl-with-a-crush type ship I've ever shipped. I hate them so much.

Just,,,gay boy in a small town where he can't be himself falling for a boy who is so very kind to him. Not expecting to ever be loved back bc people never like him, much less love him. Trying to hide his affection so he doesn't get hurt, but always wearing his heart on his sleeve no matter how much he tries to pretend he isn't. Somehow against all perceived odds actually in fact being loved back. Struggling to comprehend that someone not only loves him, not only wants him, but even enjoys taking care of him without expecting anything back.

Anyways here are some memes and cats that remind me of them:

#digimon survive #kaito shinonome #takuma momozuka #are you happy now

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orchidsangel · 3 months

Note

who’s your favorite robin? i feel like it’s jason but i’d still like to know why

-🦦

alright, this is actually ro lore. because- because because my fave robin is dick grayson *everybody gasps* and has been for YEARS.

i've never been a big batman lover, actually have had one-sided beef with him since elementary school. for some reason, i hated all of the men in the justice league except for the flash (could never hate barry allen my cutie patootie snuggle wuggle bear), and that was so amplified for bruce wayne.

partially bc i thought he was a loser like you don't even powers, you're not even a superhero fr, flop womp womp, yada yada yada. then. this girl i hated so. fucking. bad. for so. many. reasons. was the biggest batman fan ever. and when i was in 5th grade, she would always always always talk about how he was better than everyone else, and she would start arguments about it, and it was just so annoying.

so i already hated him, and she liked him, which means i hated him even more basically. also, i hated how many movies he has. pisses me off so bad to this day.

bc of that, i never got into batman or anything related to batman outside of the justice leage, and i never knew anything about him than his backstory. which i didn't even know that well bc for the longest time, i thought he got his powers from bats, and it turns out he's actually just like the rest of us. snooze.

i can't give you an exact timeline of how i discovered dick, but it probably went something like this:

saw nightwing - heart eyes - looks up nightwing on wiki - heart eyes - "first robin" - shocked emoji - connects teen titans dots - ignores everything about batman - hyper fixation passes - watches young justice - robin? - dick grayson? - heart eyes - NIGHTWING!!!!! - heart eyes

when i watched yj, my love for dick multipled by the thousands, and i already loved him bc i was a huge teen titans lover, and i always knew about batman and robin but my dumb ass was such a batman hater that i literally never connected the fucking dots.

my obsession with him is truly legendary, i had a nightwing theme for my spam acc on ig and twitter, all of my friends send me nightwing edits when they see them, and when my best dc loving irl wishes me a happy birthday, she calls me the "#1 nightwing stan" bc it's BAD for me.

but like i said, i wasn't well versed in batman lore until really recently, and that's where jason comes in. idk why when i read "first" robin i never once thought about there being any other ones, even though that more than implies that there are ??? but there's this guy ik who i went to middle school with who's also a fan of comics and superheroes like i am. and his fave character of all time is daredevil.

so one day, we're talking back and forth about which is better, dc or marvel. and he mentions that while he's not really a dc lover, they have one of the most goated characters. *insert jason todd*. and he's like, "yk who that is, right?" and i'm like, "pftt duh (no i don't)" but i'm never gonna let a man catch me slacking, so i do my due dilligence and start my research.

boom. here we are. with 2.5 blogs dedicated to jason who’s spent months living my head. dick will always have my heart, though. honestly, they both will.

#☆ messages from friends ☆

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themaraudershavethephonebox · 4 days

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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank youu @florenceafternoon for the tag <<33

1. Are you named after anyone? I'm not actually sure where my name came from, just that it's French (Chelle is a nickname) and I've got some french heritage like 200 years back or something, but my middle name is my grandmother's name.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like two hours ago rewatching the twilight series (Seth's not-death will always make me so sad) - or my last proper cry was yesterday watching Space Babies (Thanks RTD)

3. Do you have kids? HA No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, but not so much online, I find I'm way more sweet and flowery on here.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Netball for nearly 10 years, tee-ball when I was a kid, and I played futsal for a spell when I was in year 5

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their teeth (it's terrible I hate it) and how they engage in conversation - if they cut others off or ask questions etc.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way, I love a good brain off viewing and a cry.

8. Any special talents? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can do weird bodily things that alot of people are supposed to not be able to like unfocusing my eyes and thunder ears, hyperextending my thumbs etc etc.

9. Where were you born? About 4ks from where I currently live (which is sad to think about if you ask me)

10. What are your hobbies? Knitting, crocheting, yapping, thinking about writing, buying books I will likely not read.

11. Do you have any pets? I've recently adopted a stray and her kittens (only 1 left bc I've rehomed the other 2 this week) and she has another litter on the way. (If anyone wants a cat HMU)

12. All-time favourite piece of media? I am just a simple woman - Pride and Prejudice 2005

13. Fave subject in school? Legal studies - it's like listening to a true crime podcast but you're talking to other people instead of yourself.

14. Dream job? Trophy wife? Deity? No job at all? Or at least anything where I'm not on my feet 40 hours a week talking to the most ignorant people in Sydney and worrying about being assaulted by teenage girls lmao

15. Eye colour? My best friend once described it as hazel that turns more green in the sun, with specs of gold and honey through and honestly at that moment I wondered if he had been reading James Potter fanfiction bc how many times have we all read that description?

Tagging @apalapucian @annabtg @nena-96 @starlingflight @petals2fish @emeralddoeadeer @charmsandtealeaves @jfleamont

And open tag bc while I do have 15 mutuals that is A LOT of tagging babes x

#TY for the tag Maya <<33

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thinkingabthim · 2 years

Note

make a mammon (obey me, shall we date) & y/n one but the plot twist is that mammon starts dating u bc he got dared to & then he falls in love with y/n more & more

🎧📚 ｡✧⭒˚ ~ Just a bet

Genre: Angst, fluff (maybe, maybe not)

Mammon x f!reader

Summary: As a dare, Mammon has to date someone in class. He picks a random girl in the back of his class. Not knowing she's hopelessly in love with him. One day he asks to call off the bet not realizing she was near. Will he be able to fix this?

Word count: 586

Inspired by: Sex sells by Lovejoy

Warnings: Angst, fluff (🤭🤔), cringe probably.

A/N: HOW ODD??? I thought ur request was deleted. I couldn't find it for like 3 days and it just randomly came out while I was going through my drafts. Anyway enjoy my fave little loser💋. I kinda hate this. AND ALSO THIS SONG IS BASED ON SEX SELLS BY LOVEJOY 😍😍😍

It all started when Mammon took a bet from his friend.

“Hey Mammon! Truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

“I dare you to date a random girl in class”

“No way, that’s horrible and mean”

“I’ll give you 5000 grimm if you do it.”

“...Okay deal, I’ll just tell her”

He didn’t know it would go this far. He didn’t know he’d fall for her like she fell for him.

“Hey Y/n, are you doing anything after school?”

“I’m doing nothing after, why?” She didn’t look up from her journal

“Wanna go out?”

“Go out where? And with who”

“Go out with me”

“How do I know you’re not fucking with me right not?”

“I’m not! I heard there was a fair opening near here”

“Fine. One date Mammon, one date.”

He fucked up. Real bad.

He shouldn’t have done it, he should’ve told her.

“I want the deal off.”

“Why? Are you losing? Or are you falling in love?”

“I’m serious, Arroth. I want the deal off.”

“Just break it off with her. I saw that girl you liked was getting jealous”

They were interrupted when Mammon heard running and also sobbing.

The image of you crying was burnt in his memory.

He adored you! He really did.

He noticed little things about you, things normally people wouldn’t notice.

He noticed how you used to wear cold, and earthy tones before you met him.

How you wore more warm tones when you met him, symbolizing confidence and independence.

How you were always happy and bubbly around him

How comfortable you were.

You thought he was the one.

You thought he was serious.

Only for him to lead you into a false sense of hope.

“I’m telling you Y/n! He’s into you!”

“Oh shush Thirteen, he isn’t”

“He is! I’m telling you! If you weren’t so oblivious you’d see him staring at you in class”

“Well… Maybe there’s something on my face! I don’t know? But what I do know is that he isn’t into me”

When he asked you out you couldn’t believe it.

You thought he was joking.

Turns out you were right. It was all a lie.

The cuddles, the compliments, the kisses.

How could you be so stupid? You should’ve known. It was right under your nose.

Once you’ve overheard what he said, you run straight to the House of Lamentation to seek comfort from Asmodeus. Only realizing that it was still the middle of the day, he was still in classes.

Only person who was present was Lucifer.

He heard the door slam. He got out of his office and comforted you.

Mammon ran home to see Lucifer guiding you into his office.

He was heartbroken of course, but he gave you some space for a few hours..

Hours turned into months.

Your eyes became lifeless, the sparkle disappeared.

You became more quiet and introverted.

Only people you’d talk to are Lucifer, and some close friends.

You became closer to Lucifer.

After a few months, you guys became a thing.

Mammon was heart broken. All because of a stupid bet.

A bet he shouldn’t have accepted.

He couldn’t sleep, all his thoughts were you.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard giggles outside.

He looks out to see you and Lucifer getting all cuddly.

‘Out of character for him’ He thought.

Lucifer made you more happy then he ever did.

At night he can’t even turn the lights off, knowing you were going to sleep in Lucifer’s room instead of his.

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that-was-anticlimactic · 4 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru & @lesmiserablol <333

tagging (with no pressure): @beachytablecloth, @fabro-de-omres, & @milf-harrington (so sorry if you've already been tagged!)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

69 which... is honestly more than i was expecting? i think it helps that my goal is to post a fic once a month mostly bc that's my motivation to keep writing even when i'm busy/stressed!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,183 - omg i am SO CLOSE to 400k ahhhhhhhhh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

uhhhhhhh many??? right now, it's a lot of bsd/bnha, but it's always a plethora of things, haha! my first was prolly ninjago tbh

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

hey, little songbird, give me a song

you never quite say (but i hear)

lost in love and lost in feelings

Deeper Than Words

for a new world to begin, the old one must fall

okay the #1 for that is honestly so real that is one of my absolute favorite things i've written EVER lol, same with #2! the rest are... idk #4 is AWFUL - like one of my first atla fics and also my first time writing a ts fic (i have gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT IT NOW)

*note: i started this in like nov or early dec, and #5 changed! it was the zukka goose fic but now it's actually one of my favorites iugytfyhujiko

5. do you respond to comments

i used to be good at it. then i got stressed bc of school. and then i was suddenly like "uhhhh idk How to respond???" i think the thing that got me was i didn't know how to reply to the distressed comments on my sokka falling fic so i just. accidentally stopped.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh here in the garden (let's play a game) 100% rip to sokka sorry babes ilysm hate to do it to ya, love the angst tho <333 rip to everyone who missed the major character death tag lol. well... that or a spring and summer song, too brief rip to geto in the +1 oops... oh shoot... it could also be take me where my soul can run... hm...

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this was hard, but imma go with i was a child and she was a child bc it's based on one of my favorite childhood memories! rip to zuko and his ice cream tho :/ but azula is VIBING the whole time oiuygfcgyhuij

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really? i did once have someone try to correct me and say that i wrote sokka with ocd instead of tourette's but it was in the bookmarks and it made me laugh lol. i also got this comment on my kubokai kaidou with ts fic: ".. the self projection is heavy in this one ... -_-" so idk if that counts lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope :)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

uhhhh not really? i wrote ninjago equestria girls crossover oneshot in middle school but i never finished it and it SUCKED lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of?

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

uhhh i wrote a 7,600 word fic in three hours while i had covid? that's prolly the shortest? i count that as shorter than anything i may have finished faster bc i had covid lol but longest? ummmm over a year? multiple years? idkkkkkk the jay with ts fic i posted was something i wrote in 2019 and i edited it (a lot) and posted it in 2022 so??? that maybe?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

uhhh i did with friends in middle/high school, but those never left the docs! also grace and i have. very many much so aus lol

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

RARIJACK!!! it was one of my first hardcore ships, and also was my introduction to queer ships!!! renga is a close second, but rarijack just is really important and special to me for sentimental reasons that put it above renga and others! i am also on a seroroki kick right now. it's not my all-time favorite, but the brain rot seems never ending right now lol

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

GOD SO MANY i have a folder in gdocs just for ninjago fics and there are folders within the folder for different types of wips i'll never finish - i have That many: "no substance", "baby girls", "drafts"... etc...

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh ngl i'm in a place right now where i feel like the answer is Nothing (writer's block has been Bad recently), but i think something i'm good at in a very specific way is making readers feel the discomfort of characters? like idk i've been told that the way i write ts and tics (specifically tic attacks) makes the readers feel uncomfortable in like a "wow i didn't know it felt this way" kind of way??? i like to think i'm good at characterization??? idkkkk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

ummm setting and scenery & connecting parts of a story, especially if they're parts that i'm stuck on/transitions are prolly my biggest ones???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean go for it as long as it's respectful and like... you tried making sure it's accurate?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

uhh rainbow fairy/a-z mysteries... but that was like very briefly on paper. first time like... for Realsies was ninjago

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh 100% hey, little songbird, give me a song. it's just really special to me and writing it helped me cope with a new tic i had. but one that i wrote more recently is fantasies i'm not sure that i'm worthy of which is a ritsu-centric fic and is prolly tied as my favorite fic i wrote in 2023. the other one would be sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) which is my 21k word kenji-centric fic lol but that one is like... i'm more proud of it than anything, which is what puts it up there.

#corey writes:)#okay now that i did this pls inspire me pls pls pls #want write #ahhhhh #n e ways #i feel like i rambled so much goshhhhhhh #the ritsu fic tho... it's about the Guilt... y eah...

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sgtmickeyslaughter · 4 months

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Weekly Tag Wednesday !! Woohoo!

thank you for tagging me @jrooc, @mybrainismelted, @iansw0rld, and @lingy910y

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

Location: brooklyn baby!

And now, think about your childhood and tell me:

I'm thinking about 10 and under vibes, right?

Did you have a nickname and is it still used? Gigi! all you nice people and some of my friends call me that when they're being cute

What did you want to be when you'd grow up? I wanted to be an artist when i was really young, then i wanted to be a writer a lot of elementary/middle school, then i kept my options open through highshcool and last minute decided to go to architecture school and it was a very very good gut decision and in a way im an artist, fanfic writer, and soon to be licensed architect, best of all worlds!

Your favourite cartoon: when i was a kid me and my brother would wake up early to watch pokemon, I also liked the pbs show Sagwa, curious George (hey frank!) and clifford

Your favourite TV show: zoboomafoo !!!! fucking loved that guy!

Your favourite book: I had this book when i was a kid called Millions of Cats which was kind of a fucked up story and I would be very interested to see someone analyze what that book says about love. I also really liked Too Big bc look how cute the coloring is !

I also adored Ferdinand, I always thought that if i were to get a tattoo i would want to get Ferdinand sitting in his flowers

Your favourite toy: I just loved stuffed animals, I had so many

Your favourite thing to eat: Just like, soups in general. but my favorite was saimin which weirdly I cant STAND now. its like ramen but instead of ramen noodles its thick, gnarly egg noodles and take half the flavor out and just add salt, genuinely think it would give me heart attack now

Your favourite school subject: I really liked all subjects except I hated biology and I hated spanish, not bc the language is bad but bc my teacher was a white lady from colorado who im not really sure actually spoke spanish. I really loved physics and english and history and art

How did you spend your summers? I lived in a very safe place so free roam go to the or the beach near us, if you didnt like the kids in your neighborhood you were fucked cause those were our built in play mates and on the hottest days i would find the coldest part of my house and just lay on the tile reading all day

Did you listen to music? If yes, did you have a favourite band/artist?

my mom had the elite early 2000s music taste; amy winehouse, tracy chapman, dolly parton, green day, the chicks, tina turner, smashing pumpkins, spice girls, alanis morissette, jack johnson, Lauren hill, so good, I still listen to them all today

And lastly, tell me something you did as a kid that your parents still don't know about:

I used to cut pieces of my hair periodically with the kitchen scissors but it wasnt like super noticeable so my mom was just like i really cant figure out why your hair grows like this

I also took the bus by myself a couple times when i was wayy to young to but it was a really simple bus system so i just got on and went to town and took it back, idk seems like it worked out okay!

what about you? @juliakayyy @krysmiss @darlingian @gallavichroom @vintagelacerosette

#sgt says #tag game

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mirukutchi · 3 months

Text

Attempt 2 at writing this lol bc the first one got deleted by accident

I wanted to add my experience to that last post I rbed, bc it resonated with me, particularly the first part where men will call eachother 'girl' or 'feminine' as an insult(this is the only part im commenting on as i am not a transwoman so i have no input on that part of the post. )

I have pcos. I always have. I have a very strong masculine face/jawline. I always have. Ive always had a deep voice, as someone who was born a girl and identifies(at least in part) as a girl. I want this to be known bc its context lol

Guys are not the only ones who misgender as an insult, or to dehumanize others. Girls do it too.

When i was in elementary school i didnt have female friends bc all of them would laugh at me and say they didn't want to be friends with an 'ugly boy'

When i would go to the bathroom in-between classes, other girls would push me out, or yank me out physically and say that 'ugly boys' are not allowed in the girls bathroom.

My mom always made me have short hair, and she always made me wear jeans(and boy shirts bc they are more durable than girl clothes. This part was. Okay. I guess. I liked pokemon and ben 10 so my little brain didnt understand.) I was not allowed to have long hair and i was not allowed to wear dresses or skirts(ever since i was little ive wanted to wear only dresses but i was not allowed to...)

I talked like a baby(high pitched voice) for a good part of my childhood bc i knew that my voice was ugly and deep. When i started to go to speech therapy, i started speaking ""normally"" and my voice got so deep... i remember one of the last times i used my baby voice it was with a teacher and another student, and the student said "hey teacher, listen to (deadname?)'s REAL voice, she sounds just like a boy!"

That was a defining moment in my life.

In middle school, when i still wasnt allowed to have long hair and dresses, girls in my health class would look at me and laugh and whisper about how im actually a boy, and that i shouldnt be there. My face started changing too, my jaw got stronger... my voice got deeper.

I think in highschool people were too focused on other things to really bother me too much, plus people *generally* by that time knew me as a sweet and quiet person, not to mention i was the 'art kid' so that gained me some friends lol, also by highschool i was allowed to grow my hair out, down to my butt almost! And i was allowed to wear dresses and skirts and leggings(mostly leggings at that time bc i was still super skinny lol)

After highschool i had a crisis and shaved my head and tried out being a guy(ftm) but it was, personally, an identity crisis. I didnt know who i was, i had been abused, emotionally and sexually, all through high school by a guy i thought was my friend(i wish i had left sooner...) so i was struggling with what was 'me' plus i thought to myself 'everyone calls me a guy anyway so fuck it' but it gave me advanced dysphoria to be a guy :/

My hair is long now. Past my butt, i can sit on it. I only, exclusively, wear skirts and dresses. I wear a skirt to work bc i begged them to let me(i have autism and pants are a sensory nightmare but also i hate the way i look in them also i will look more like a guy)

Do you know how often i get misgendered? Admittedly not often, but it still happens. Usually its kids, but sometimes i get people calling me 'sir'. I want to scoff and be like 'how can they mistake someone with long braided pigtails and a dress for being a man' and then i remember my childhood.

Also im not writing this to detract from trans experiences, im writing my own experience as a woman-thing with pcos(if you dont know, it basically means that the cysts on my reproductive organs cause me to produce extra testosterone and not enough estrogen) who has frequently been misgendered by other girls

I want to clarify that im also only responding to the first part of the post, im not trying to say my experiences are in some way comparative to trans experiences!

Terfs do NOT touch this post ill shoot you on sight!!!!! Pew pew!!!

#pcos #my nyas

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rubynationwins · 2 years

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~Masterlist~

(last updated 10/22/22)

Hello, I’m Ruby! I’m a 23 y/o plus sized gal who likes to write steamy stories that mostly star my current obsessions *cough* Sebastian Stan & Chris Evens *cough* I often write PlusSize!Reader fics bc curvy babes are gorgeous, gorgeous, girls<3 Currently I’ve been on a dark!fic kick so keep that in mind if u don’t like those topics. Warnings are listed for each fic. Please feel free to talk to me or send me a request, if you want to know if I write for a certain character, just ask! I always appreciate feedback so plz comment, like, reblog, send me a hand written review-or all of the above! I cross-post on my AO3 Ruby_Nation but my works should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.

🥵 = smut 😈 = dark fic 🥰 = fluff 😭 = angst

Steve Rogers (MCU)

Happy Birthday Mr. America (Drabble) 🥵

Steve Rogers x Plus Size!Reader

A steamy drabble in honor of Chris Evans’ 41st B-day!

The Best Part of Waking Up (One Shot) 🥵

PA! Steve Rogers x Dom!Boss! Reader

His boss may not be a morning person, but it’s up to Steve to get you to work on time. Things don’t exactly go the way he expects, though.

Bucky Barnes (MCU) /Sebastian Stan

Hard To Handle (One Shot, rpf) 😈 🥵

Soft!Dark!Sebastian Stan x Plus Size!Handler!Reader

You risk your safety trying to find Sebastian when he runs off, but you don’t understand why he’s so upset. As his handler, it’s your job to keep him in line. Plus, why would any man try something on a girl like you? He decides to show you just what men are capable of.

When Words Fail (One Shot) 😭 🥰 🥵ish

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Who said running away from your problems couldn’t solve them? Well, Bucky sure didn’t seem to appreciate it.

Sleeping With A Friend (In Progress Series) 😈 🥵 😭

Soft!Dark!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader

When Bucky sees what you’re wearing for pajamas–or lack thereof–he can’t help how his body reacts. You’re a heavy sleeper anyway.

Wanna Be Yours (One Shot?) 🥰 😭

Sugar baby!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader

You don’t have a problem letting Bucky see other people, but Bucky wants to tell you that you’re all he wants.

Touch Me (Drabble) 😭

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Random angsty late night drabble

Moon Knight Boys (MCU)

I Saw Him Standing There (In Progress Series) *Hiatus*

Marc Spector x reader, eventual Steven Grant x reader

Marc Spector has become somewhat of a regular at your (very legitimate and not at all illegal) business-much to his chagrin. When three months roll by with no word from your grumpy “friend” you decide to search him out. What you discover has you baffled.

Series Masterlist

Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man)

Actions Have Consequences (Drabble) 😈 😭

Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Lloyd is so happy to have you home, but he needs to show you what happens when you don’t listen to his rules.

Front Row Seat (One Shot) 😈 🥵 😭

Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Plus Size!Reader

Lloyd gives you something to do while he’s getting information out of his target–keep his cock nice and warm.

Put On The Costume (Drabble) 😭 😈

Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Late night angsty drabble 💍

Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out)

What’s In A Name? (One Shot) 😭 🥰

Soft!Ransom Drysdale x Plus Size!Reader

You finally tell Ransom how much you hate the nickname he gave you.

So You Want To Tango? (In Progress Series) 😈 🥵 😭

Stepbro!Ransom Drysdale x Virgin!Plus Size!Reader

All you were trying to do was lose your v-card, was that too much to ask? Apparently so, according to your stepbrother.

Castiel Novak (Supernatural)

Kiddo (Modern Day AU Completed Series) 🥰 😭 🥵

Older Bro’s Best Friend!Castiel x College Student!Reader

What can a girl do when the guy she’s loved since middle school still calls her “Kiddo”? Well, maybe a night no one expected and a few too many drinks can change everything

Pt.1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3 🥵

Jack Kline (Supernatural)

Baking With The Devil’s Son (One Shot) 🥰

Jack Kline x Reader Platonic Relationship

It’s Jack’s birthday and you’re gonna make sure it’s a celebration to remember! Which means you get to deal with baking the cake. Jack does have some concerns about your expertise, though. (For @squirrel-moose-winchester Crack Fic Challenge. My prompt was ‘Jack Asks Questions’)

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boag · 11 months

Text

15 questions for 15 mutuals

@malibubarbiethepinkprincess tagged me to do this lol thank u qween

1) Are you named after anyone?

My mom actually named me Karma after a rave she went to on her 19th birthday, but my middle name is Renee after her aunt who died young in the 80s bc she had an asthma attack while dyeing her own hair alone at home and stopped breathing bc of the fumes 😭

2) Do you have kids?

No lol

3) Do you use sarcasm a lot?

4) When was the last time you cried?

I cry daily I’m just that kinda girl idk . Earlier I cried a little bit bc I couldn’t find my weed pen

5) What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Vibes

6) Eye color?

Light brown I guess . They usually seem darker than they are but in direct sunlight and photos with flash they’re more like an amber color

7) What sports do you/have you played?

I cheered for football from like age 5 to age 10 .

8) Any special talent?

I’m a pretty good singer!! I used to be a lot better when I was younger and I used to constantly practice and study vocal technique online bc I wanted to sing professionally. My dream at one point was to be an opera performer. Now that I’m an adult my voice has deepened a significant amount and also I’ve been smoking for years and don’t rlly practice or work on technique anymore so my singing isn’t nearly as impressive as it was back then, but I still sing for fun a lot and in some ways I think I sound better now that my voice has matured. I also used to play covers of random songs on ukulele while singing by myself at home when I was younger lol. And I draw and paint too.

9) Where were you born?

South Jersey

10) Scary movies or happy endings?

I hate this question bc they’re not mutually exclusive concepts and also both are good as long as they’re executed well and make sense with the overall point of the movie.

11) Do you have any pets?

Yes! I have a chihuahua named Pandora but I just call her Panda 90% of the time (she was named after the Skins character) and a fluffy tabby cat named Xena who I’ve had since I was nine years old. Also my mom has a chihuahua-maltese mix named Cosmo and he’s like my four-legged little brother .

12) How tall are you?

Like 5’3

13) What are your hobbies?

Doing my makeup and watching movies and tv and microblogging and smoking a lot and FaceTiming people and loving my friends and making art and singing along to music loudly Thanks so much<3

14) Favorite subject in school?

It was ALWAYS history

15) Dream job?

I do not dream of labor but like the best things I’ve thought of maybe doing as a career in the future are probably like… teaching middle school or counseling or smth like that . Or maybe I’ll go to beauty school 🤔

I tag @1892 @lizzyswor1d @evilnicegirl @joaquinscleftlip @b-0-ngripper-deactivated20010911 @computerexploder @sun-lit-goth @yungrapunxelpart2 @carygrantsbeard @holedyke @mrsterlingeverything @boyczar @gavinstrick @g3pony @angelnumber27 but like no pressure lol

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