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#before that some ppl would dislike me bc i was a foreigner but then i had other friends i could count on
nyatawia · 1 year
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Komi can’t communicate hits a little bit too close to home
#im watching the kyoto trip episode and god did i feel like that every single day of my life#im not even a second choice ik for a fact ppl were disappointed to be paired with me#I remember clear as day when one of my classmates asked the teacher why she was stuck with the weirdo#in my case its not just my imagination i faced sm rejection without even trying to approach ppl#when i was a scout girl i was always with the other girls of my age group and one day they asked me why im following them#i couldnt even cry bc there was no place where i could have privacy on that day#and these are my most vivid memories from my middle school years!#i started hating myself and life as soon as i stepped into that school#before that some ppl would dislike me bc i was a foreigner but then i had other friends i could count on#in middle school I literally had no one#i was weird chubby ugly had extreme social anxiety and didnt even answer ppls questions#life was torture#only two very sweet girls accepted me into their group and i would hang out with them sometimes i was so glad i could hang out with someone#during lunch break or whatever#idk why i went on this tangent!!! but yeah this show is bringing back some stuff man#every scene im like same komi same!!!#now im not super popular or anything but im surrounded by nice ppl who care about me and i love spending time with them even though#sometime i still feel that i cant communicate properly😭#anyways#social anxiety girlies it does get better at some point#i even have the best bf in the world now! before I thought id die alone fr#im not trying to make 100 friends like komi tho i feel like the ones i have are good for now#hfkskg
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gemsofgreece · 3 years
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random but I find it a bit uncomfortable when we Greeks, especially someone like you who actually knows about history and is educated, calls Scopje "North Macedonia". Just bc they decided to call themselves like that and our dumb, unpatriotic politicians accepted it, I don't see why we should play along. Macedonia is Greek. Alexander the Great was Greek. Period.
If even we Greeks give in and start calling them like this, then we can't expect foreigners not to do so or not to eventually believe the false historical facts spread by that country. And eventually everyone, even Greeks, will believe that Macedonia or Alexander or whatever else were not Greek.
This thought worries me a lot. But since I live overseas myself, I do try educating foreigners about this.
sorry for the lil rant, but it's not the first time I see Greeks (even on tv!) do that and it is disappointing and saddening to me.
like Turks, Germans, French, British or ppl from any other country would never behave the way Greeks do on such a matter.
Really makes me wonder sometimes what it is that makes us Greeks so unpatriotic. it's somehow like being patriotic equals being a fascist for us, and obviously no one wants that so we just accept everyone else running over us, our history and our culture. (generally speaking, not only about that topic and it's definitely not towards you. just an observation of mine)
anyway again sorry for the rant.
I agree, many Greeks have that belief that any slight patriotic sentiment, even without hatred or any feeling of superiority, automatically makes you a fascist. It frustrates me too.
On the topic of our neighbour country, things are very complicated though. It’s not as easy as to say “There’s no other Macedonia - our politicians betrayed us - I try to educate as many people as I can”.
First of all, Skopje is not a correct term to use either. Skopje is their capital city and if I said “there are Pomak populations in Bulgaria, Northeastern Greece and Skopje”, then the average foreigner would misunderstand that sentence. We Greeks simply use that name for the country in lack of any better alternative and because it is not our job to find one for them.
Of course I dislike the name North Macedonia, however I think it is better in comparison to what was being used till the change. Just because we Greeks used the former official name FYROM, it doesn’t mean foreigners did too. It is very sad but it is the truth. In the absence of Greeks, everybody was calling the country Macedonia. The reason is a) the insane propaganda of the neighbours, b) the weirdness of an acronym used as a country’s name and c) the extremely long and complicated name when said in full. Trust me, everyone called them Macedonia and when a Greek showed up and screamed “it’s FYROM”, they were largely ignored or even ridiculed.
Let alone that FYROM is in truth an even more terrible name than North Macedonia. Remember what it means. Former Yugoslavic Republic of Macedonia. What the hell does that mean? That it was formerly (yugo)slavic but now it is not? And that it was or still is THE Republic of Macedonia, the one!!! You get how this was way worse than North Macedonia? North Macedonia suggests that there is another Macedonia too, a South Macedonia. So the average foreigner who doesn’t know much about Greek or Slavic history may be intrigued by that North specification and look up what the “south” Macedonia is and find out about our region and its inhabitants and history. Also the differentiation between North Macedonia and Macedonia (ours, often called Historical or Aegean Macedonia) may intrigue new people to study the issues of the tensions between the two countries and have an educated opinion on it. This was much less probable to happen when foreigners were expected to call the country FYROM and then they were weirded out, so they would be like “oh just call it Macedonia for short” and they would do that without second thought, without knowing someone else condemns this name as appropriation of history and direct land claim.
Of course, the name North Macedonia is mostly inaccurate as only a small part of the far south of the country is part of the actual Ancient Macedonia. The ideal would be a NO Macedonia name but right now it was not realistic. They would not accept it and they were getting deeply under the influence of Turkey. Albania and Bulgaria are deeply influenced by Turkey, Greece felt it was suicide if she destroyed entirely the relations with North Macedonia and was literally surrounded by Turk friends from all sides. I am sure both sides absolutely loathe every single term in this agreement but politics sometimes work differently than our principles. I don’t like it but I have come to a place that I kind of understand. I hate it but it is better than the absolute nothing we had before.
What I can’t come to terms with is giving in for the nationality and language. That really seems as little other than a big fat betrayal. However, if I try hard to be objective about the situation, I believe neighbours are in a worse place than us in the longterm. Huge tensions often arise inside North Macedonia with like 1/3 of “”””””MaCEdoNIAns”””””” being Albanian and Bulgaria claiming the rest 2/3 are actually Bulgarians. And what is factually the truth, that the “Macedonian” language is basically a Bulgarian dialect just must create a situation of chaos within the country. I wouldn’t find it surprising if the nation feels unsafe. And when a nation feels unsafe, the best way to control it, distract it from the identity confusion and give it a purpose is to feed them with a shitload of propaganda, the kind they would LIKE to hear.
When Slavic populations were pushed north and out of Macedonia by the Greeks during the Balkan Wars and then they became part of what was called South Serbia and then part of Yugoslavia and then Yugoslavia collapsed and their population is a blend of Serb Slavs, Bulgarians, Albanians and apparently there must be Greek Slav origins there too, it is no wonder the nation suffers from identity crisis and is susceptible to brainwashing and propaganda. I suppose they hate the guts of all of us surrounding them. So the claim that Macedonian is a separate ethnicity, unrelated to Greeks, and they are the sole descendants, a claim that was only made in 1935 for the first time, was a desperate way to establish an identity against Slavs and Greeks who surrounded them and with whom they felt entirely disconnected and hostile. I mean, at points in time, they were even denying any Slavic heritage. I think lately things aren’t as bad as they were. Of course, their government remains provocative towards Greece even after the agreement but this is no surprise after Greeks agreed on nationality and language. Currently they have tensions on ethnicity and culture mostly with Bulgarians and Albanians so our issue is somewhere in the back. Some of their youth now says they don’t actually believe they are descendants of Alexander the Great and that was an extreme measure to spite Greece. This was one of the terms of the Prespes agreement after all: that they would stop claiming Greek history and culture. Of course extreme and brainwashed nationalists are alive and well (everywhere) but things are better than they were some years ago IMO. I could be wrong though.
Anyway I get why things happened the way they happened. But of course butchering history is not the solution… but as you see they are not very close at solving anything. That was kinda my answer’s point, not sure it came across right. In the meantime, I have to use this geographic term to be understood and it is a little better than any widely understood alternative.
Context for foreigners: Alexander the Great died about 800 years before the first Slav stepped on Macedonia or any other Greek territory. Macedonians and all other Greeks technically stopped being considered as “ancient” half a millennium before the first Slavs showed up.
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Yall know i love this survey shit<3
1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.
-finish 5 books
-lose 20 lbs
-produce more art
-travel out of the state & country
-heal my heart and love myself a lil more
2. What color are your pants?
not wearing any
3. Favorite motivational quote.
damn, there’s A L O T. prob something simple and to the point. I like “proud, but never satisfied” and “the distance between your dreams and reality is called action”
4. When was the last time you drank coffee?
yesterday; got a new french press for christmas<3
5. What was the last thing you ate?
lmao the weirdest shit. hot cheetos, some hummus, and a bar
6. Favorite animal.
soo many; always been fascinated by sharks. Elephants are up there too.
7. Favorite song.
currently anything Kid Cudi - he soothes my soul
8. Last movie you watched?
National Lampoon family vacation I think?
9. Any turn ons?
of course; im one of those gay people who gets turned on by having an emotional connection first and foremost; but if were strictly talking physical shit - any neck action is sexy af. or just taking breaks to make eye contact.
10. Any turn offs?
bad breath lol and just being a dick in general or inconsiderate
11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.
cognizant; superfluous; compelling; anguished
12. What are some meaningful movies?
First ones that come to my mind that left an impact or a meaningful message are Shawshank Redemption, Avatar, Wall-E (lol), Forest Gump
13. 2 most important people in your life right now?
Myself honestly 
14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?
Find a desk, order a blender, and form a morning routine
15. When was the last time you read a good book?
Currently reading Michelle Obama’s -Becoming; before that I read the Alchemist and it was good
16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?
I don’t
17. Do you have any nicknames?
Pollo, Hayls
18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)
Viva la Juicy, but honestly all of them - been sticking to essential oils or all natural shit lately - anything with Amber is good.
19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?
yes<3
20. What is something unique that you do every single day?
lol shower? I dont really do anything special i dont think?
21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?
“Becoming” lol because I feel like I am always growing and changing and adapting and learning and ill never just be one thing
22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?
Recently - christmas time
23. Are you a shopaholic?
no - but i just got an amazon prime account and thats game changer fa real
24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?
Love - Kid Cudi, 
25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.
Sitting in the tub (otherwise that shit is too crowded lmao)
Reading a good book
Masturbating prob?
26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?
Tropical island
27. How do you like being roused in the morning?
cuddles and soft music (prob reggae) and if i aint got shit to do a bluntttt fam
28. How was your day? What did you do?
it was ok - fighting some inner demons lately and feeling really low :/ but i got a little bit done so im giving myself a break
29. What did your last text message say?
“bye”
30. Do you respond to texts quickly?
depends on who it is lol
31. Who was the last person you called?
my mom
32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.
i wanna learn another language
I wish to be able to see more things change for the better in our world
i wish to skydive
i wish to live in another country for a while
and i wish to love myself
33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?
maybe being a host of a talk show lol
34. Winter or summer?
both
35. What is a quality that all people should have?
empathy
36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?
my inner white girl and materialistic ass says shoes - but idk i think it would also be cool to have a collection of books or photographs - ya know that sentimental shit i be on
37. What have you been thinking about lately?
wow so much - a lot of reflecting honestly about who i have been and how i’ve treated others and how i am trying to change myself - so ironically enough, i’ve also been thinking about the future and trying to focus on who i want to be and where i want to be
38. What is the secret to a happy life?
taking it day by day im sure
39. What are some phrases you say often?
“nice” lol to my clients a lot
40. Favorite food?
lately its been asian - like thai and vietnamese. fuck now i want some dumplings and curry and egg rollllz
41. List 3 wishes.
already fuckin diiiiiddd fam
42. What are some of your greatest fears?
memory loss, dying, losing others
43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
idk whats app prob
44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? 
machu picchu
45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? 
LOVE
46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?
Depends
47. Do you like to travel?
Do you know me lol
48. Any regrets?
yeah always, but i try to live my life without any and honestly id never go back and change em
49. Do you like rain?
obsessed; fav weather actually
50. What do you spend most of your money on?
food
51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?
past bc im a sentimental person; future is exciting and i like surprises and the unknown and dreaming about that shit - id rather not know.
52. Favorite clothing store?
depends - urban outfitters is my style but i like goodwill just as much
53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?
this too shall pass
54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?
honestly not often enough, i try not to over think things or it tends to give me anxiety. why worry about things that are far out of our control? I just take shit day by day
55. What angers you the most?
ignorance. and rude ass people. when someone isnt being genuine
56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?
yesterday
57. When was the last time you got really sad?
today
58. Are you good at lying?
im sure everyone is to some degree
59. What foreign language would you like to learn?
spanish
60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?
just one - semi fluent in spanish
61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?
lol 
62. What books do you plan to read this year?
not sure! I have a couple but we shall see
63. Do you have breakfast every morning?
yes i try to - its my fav meal
64. Tell us a secret.
then it wouldnt be a secret
65. How many concerts have you been to?
a few
66. Last hug?
wasnt long enough
67. Who knows you better than anyone else?
myself
68. Baths or showers?
ooooooh damn, depends
69. Do you think you’re ambitious?
i could be a little more
70. What song is stuck in your head?
lmaooo wake up in the sky by gucci mane and bruno - thats been my shit lately
71. Countries you’ve visited?
Peru, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Caymans, Philippines
72. What do you most value in your friends?
Communication and laughter
73. What helps you to sleep better?
putting my got dang phone away from me
74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?
prob like 2 grand or some shit
75. What makes you nervous?
when i over book myself or take too much on and have a lot on my plate - so time management i suppose
76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?
to live in the present moment; and to take care of myself 
77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive for sure - i dont really ever forget
78. First mobile phone?
ayyy a flip phone and it was see thru and lit up and had a walkie talkie!
79. Strangest dream?
lmao ew no im so ashamed
80. Best dream?
flying or something
81. Who is the smartest person you know?
my grandpa it seems
82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?
idk
83. Do you miss anyone right now?
very much, always
84. Who do you love? Why?
everyone, because life is too damn short for hate
85. Do you like sharing?
yeah lol bc i expect ppl to share w me in return
86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?
idk actually
87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?
yeah id like to think so
88. Favorite genre of music?
i was raised on hip hop so i feel like that is my go to but honestly i love reggae, alternative, a lil bit of electro chill shit, R&B, oldies, jazz, anything 
89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?
Understanding
90. Describe your life in 5 words.
roller coaster. fun. emotional. loving. growth.
91. Describe the world in 4 words.
crazy. beautiful. strong. vast.
92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?
skinny dip?
93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?
cocaine model - zhu
is this love - bob marley
tadow - masego
94. Are you more creative or logical?
def without a doubt 100% creative/emotional/empath/sensative/does things based on feelings rather than reason type person lmao
95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?
truth always
96. What are you most proud of?
my ability to communicate and understand people
97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?
strength/humility 
98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?
smoking a fat ass blunt doing yoga on a sunny day while its 68 degrees out and im on a beach 
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amazingbees · 7 years
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long, long list of empath/psychic Aesthetics™
“getting rly fkn attached to the ppl, plots, etc. from ur dreams
waking up & needing 2-3 hours to mourn & emotionally detach urself from ur dream universes
getting occasional feelings from ur twin flame & accidentally mistaking them fr ur own
getting rly rly sad fr no reason walking arnd in the hallways @ school
just in general, getting rly rly sad fr no reason
“ghost, i love u, but im busy rn” 
“ghost, i love u, but can u pls not touch me rn, thanks”
“ghost, i love u, but im talking to someone else rn”
not being able to tell if a sudden vision is a message from a deity/spirit, a flashback from a previous life, or some sorta omen or smth
“ghost, i love u, but can u pls stop clinging to me rn”
talking to ppl who dont believe in spiritual stuff & just, ,,, ,, Y’know.
getting random flashbacks to past dreams & gettin real Bummed Out™
missing ur friends from past lives
wanting to go back to ur past lives
“that reminds me of smth that happened in onea my past lives”
“have we met before”
“i feel like i know u”
having 100% of ur emotions based either on the moon & other astrological things, or other ppl in the room
missing ppl uve never met
feeling Incomplete™ w/o them
“ok who the fuck is feeling arousal in this room rn bc could u pls turn that tf down rn, thanks”
staring directly to the side of someones head bc their aura is rly fun to watch
“fuck, ur aura is so pretty”
seeing shades of pink & red in someones aura & just 🔍👀 
“is that actually physically that color or is it just a Spiritual Color Thing”
going to old places & getting that.... Feeling
touching old objects & getting that....... Feeling
reading old books/saying old prayers & getting that....... Feeling....
being able to physically feel someones personality when u touch them
being able to physically feel someones personality when u hold smth theyve owned fr a long time
“ok this is gonna sound kinda weird, but can i touch the center of ur chest, i wanna feel ur 4th chakra”
only being able to express things & feelings w/ colors, elements, planets, zodiac signs, notes on the piano, textures, patterns, etc.
“porn is so so fake lmao”
hearing someone talk in a foreign language u dont understand but being able to generally get the gist of what theyre saying from their emotions & facial expressions
“so whats (name) like?” “mostly dark blue & purple, the smell of sandalwood & smoke, neptune, black onyx”
“ok but what does that Mean” “:)”
feeling rly spiritually attached to crystals, more than possible w/ other ppl
“this crystal is my bf”
“this deity is my bf”
“this ghost is my bf”
“this planet is my bf”
feeling like ur house is an Ecosystem, w/ all the different energies & ghosts & elementals & other spirits 
“wow, you can talk to angels, really? that’s so amazing!!!!!! i could never imagine!!!!!” yeah thanks i ate a whole bag of flaming hot cheetos w/ my guardian angel last night & we fanboyed together abt my shit interests
“wow, you can talk to spirits, really???? how do you do that!!!!!” just say hi lmao, its not as formal as u think + theyre p much constantly around u so ur prolly already friends, even if u dont know it
projecting just to visit ur astral friends
[towards a group of spirits most likely older than ur great-great-great-great-grandparents] whats up losers 
“bad spirits or demons cant rly hurt u unless u give them the power to”
“u can have astral sex, yknow”
getting a pull from ur astral friends in the middle of smth important
semiprojecting in the middle of a rly boring class
talking to spirits in the middle of a rly boring class
doing energy work in the middle of a rly boring class
“energy work is rly easy! here, i’ll teach u”
^ teaching all ur friends the hand-rubbing technique
making sigils fr ur friends, even if they dont rly know what they r or how to use them
sending ur friends random bursts of positive energy, just bc
sending strangers((esp. those that look like theyre goin somewhere important)) random bursts of positive energy, just bc
“holy fuck ur guardian angel is hot”
lowkey hanging arnd ppl just bc of the spirits that hang around them
flirting with spirits
@ spirits: “would u b comfy w/ giving me a kiss on the cheek??”
@ spirits “u should come over sometime to hang out, i can attach u to my necklace if u want !!” 
just, being rly in love w/ spirits in general
carrying arnd spirits w/ u as u go on w/ ur everyday life
smiling in the middle of class bc u remember a spirit or bc of smth a spirit says to u
feeling a spirit hug u or kiss ur face & just: !!!!!!
sorry ill move on
“i’m rly afraid of ghosts!!! :(” why
“they’re so scary!!!!!” theyre ppl???? they have thoughts & feelings & personalities & some can b bad, sure!! but 90% of them r good & pure & if ur attracting negative spirits, its bc thats the only type ur thinking abt !!!! negative spirits r attracted to negative ppl !!!!!!
mo vI IN g O n
Knowing(tm) in ur Heart(tm) that some ppl dislike u, but still gettin kinda salty when u find this out irl
“this is my friend!!! theyre an amazingly good person whos never done anything wrong!!! i trust them!!!!” ... can u srsly not feel That
gettin Bad Feelings(tm) abt someone, & trying to ignore them
being proved right abt ur Bad Feelings
“i love this celebrity w/ my whole heart!!! theyre so pure & wholesome!!!!” ................................ can u srsly not feel That
knowing beforehand if someones problematic or not
“that person’s aura feels like a trump supporter”
when 2 ppl get together & they look rly happy but u can Feel smth between them that feels unstable
feeling Sadness on someone but not knowing Entirely what its abt
seeing glimses of someones past life
seeing glimses of someones True Face
seeing someones True Face & nothing else, not rly entirely knowing what their actual, physical face is
“i dont mean to freak u out, but u do know abt that negative spirit on ur back rn. right”
occasionally seeing a rly rly scary face in ur minds eye, but trying to flirt w/ the spirit so u can see it on a more level ground
meeting someone else whos Spiritual(tm) & trying to find out abt How Much they know, How Much theyre interested in
“is this an omen”
being rly attached to ur tarot cards
“these cards r my bf”
resting ur tarot cards under a nourishing crystal as a ‘thanks’ fr their hard work
kissing ur card deck
kissing ur crystals
putting positive energy into ur mirrors, ur makeup, ur nail polish, ur jewelry, ur clothes, etc.
ok thats it fr now
i have More, but
i’ll restrain myself
fr Now
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