#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[cest-la-venus]

i still don't have the unrebloggable post thing lol

#disordered eating #weight loss mention #medical #with the warnings out of the way here's the real post #ive been having body image issues and Also health issues that may be tied to my weight #so in a moment of weakness a few weeks ago i decided to at least look at the n0/0m app to see what all the fuss was about #bc the marketing really did make it sound like it might be onto something #and i know enough about nutrition to know that everyone's healthiest way of eating can vary wildly #so like idk i gave it the benefit of the doubt. maybe its helping people do a modified version of intuitive eating or something #but nope!!! i wont go into details but it was SO HORRIBLY DISORDERED #i dont doubt that maybe there are some people with cores of steel who could engage w its framework in a healthy way #mostly bc the world is a vast tapestry and i cannot possibly understand everyone elses experiences #but like. MY FUCKING GOD WEIGHT LOSS CULTURE IS SO AWFUL #nothing about what i saw on that app would have supported my health lemme tell ya #(also disclaimer me claiming that maybe I would benefit to lose weight for health reasons is not me saying all fat people are unhealthy #or need to lose weight. nobody owes anyone health or thinness or whatever. i dont want to argue about what led me to this conclusion #and i am being extremely careful to prioritize my actual literal health over my weight #i dont have a goal weight i dont count calories i have a goal of manage xyz conditions using gentle lifestyle changes) #(this feels like a lot of disclaimers to say abt me talking about a very average healthcare choice but i feel the need to say it anyway #bc 1 fat activism is so fucking important and i am aware that my personal health choices are not apolitical #and 2 i am a weenie and i dont want my vent about an app that feels like garbage to me to upset anyone) #anyway. diet culture exists to force as many people as possible into very destructive eating patterns for the sake of The Profit #dont fall for it like i briefly did. worry about your health and let your body worry about how to handle your fat cells

[itafushin]

im so fucking bitter.

#koshka acts like him and angel are the victims all the time when they quite literally arent #yall also caused us emotional distress bitch #angel cheated on A and replaced him which triggered his abandonment issues and caused him to have split on angel #which are two symptoms of bpd fyi #and then he constantly tried to get forgiveness because he did miss angel and truly did wanna be friends again but he had so many intrusive #thoughts about yall replacing him AGAIN that he isolated again #which is symptoms of bpd too #fyi #and then other alters have apologized and tried fixing things since but yall wanna twist it to seem like yall didnt have a choice #which yall did #because none of us forced yall into doing shit #and i know you didnt move on because if yall did you wouldnt have answered so fucking hostily #if yall moved on you wouldnt treat ME as if i was that motherfucker and we’d still be mutuals #like koshka acts like him and angel are the only ones allowed to be victims ever and display symptoms of mental illnesses #yall arent the main characters !!!! #how are you gonna call us a st//ker for displaying symptoms of an obessive disorder we cant control #two in fact #that weve owned up to and apologized for ??? #i hope koshka gets the rude awakening he fucking deserves and angel leaves him #because koshka is NOT a good person for so many fucking reasons #and a lot of the people hes dropped and villanized were not as bad as he made them out to be

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

I feel moved to do this so I’m gonna

I can only speak for the US, but if you think covid isn’t a big deal anymore you are being lied to. on multiple levels.

First and most important, covid is airborne. It was always airborne. This is a well-established fact in the medical community and has been for awhile. What this means is that, in indoor spaces and crowded outdoor spaces, it is chilling in the air and you are inhaling it with every breath you take. The more virus you inhale, the sicker you will be. The gov knows it, the cdc knows it, everyone knows it. Nobody wants to say this to avoid accountability that they fucked up the initial response with a focus on droplets, and they don’t want “panic”. Plus it will obviously cost them more.

herd immunity was never, and is not going to be, a thing with this virus

You can and will get reinfected. And with every infection, you’re at higher risk of severe disease and organ damage, including your brain.

Two very large studies on Long Covid have recently come out, and in summary, it is very real and you don’t want this shit. It’s estimated that 1 in 5 infected people will get it and there is no cure yet. Even if we find one, organ and brain damage is not reversible.

covid is causing an increase in brain disorders

this is an LA emergency room today as of August 27 2022 It’s like this all over as you can see in the comments.

children are at significantly higher risk for covid complications

masking doesn’t hurt kids’ speech development

earloop masks don’t do shit to protect you at this point and this is well established in the medical community. It’s N95 or higher or you have very little protection. Any mask is better than no mask. If you have absolutely no choice but to use ear looped masks, a mask brace helps significantly

you can get a p100, a mask with even higher filtration than n95, on amazon for $30. This is the one I bought. Here are more p100 and elastomeric masks you can buy safely

here is an indepth video on how to perform a DIY fit test at home using instructions from the US Army. You should be doing this with every mask you have (if you’re curious as to why federal mask mandates were never enforced or even discussed, it’s because federal law mandates that companies have to fit test every employee if masks are required for airborne protection and they can’t/don’t want to figure out how to work around this for the general public. You need to fit test for a mask to work accurately.)

one of the key components to actually returning life to normal for everyone, including the disabled, is air filtration. The Corsi-Rosenthal Box is a cheap, open source air filter that’s on par with more expensive filtration systems. At it’s best, it reduces 80% of the covid inhalation dose, which is the equivalent of a group of people all wearing decent quality, fitting masks. This not only helps against covid, but also reduces exposure to other respiratory illnesses and even allergies! People all over the country are making these and donating them to schools, businesses, people in need, etc. Here’s a video on how to make one yourself and I highly recommend you do if you can. If you don’t like masks for whatever reason, this is how we get rid of them

here is an awesome thread about traveling during covid

If you’d like reviews on various types of masks and if they pass fit tests, this is the guy you wanna follow

if you’re looking for graphs and charts and statistics, you wanna follow this account

if you wanna know more about air filtration, literally everyone in the medical community worth their salt is constantly screaming about it on twitter, but I recommend following this guy

and if you want accurate information about covid, then you should follow one of the first whistleblowers for the disease. He’s been right about everything so far, and he’s also posting accurately about monkeypox

NOW HOW ABOUT A FEW GOOD THINGS??????

a very promising prophylactic for covid, called Evusheld, exists and has been authorized for emergency use in the US. If you are immunocompromised, over the age of 12, and 88+ pounds, please harass your GPD and pharmacy to give it to you!!!! It is actively being suppressed and the us gov isn’t buying supply, so most medical professionals don’t know it exists and will fight you about it. Even if you aren’t in the US, it’s available in over 100 countries!!!!!

Novavax is a new and very promising vaccine that would be effective for emerging variants, and it’s working better than the current vaccines to prevent infection. But, again, the US is refusing to buy supply and the FDA is dragging their feet because the current administration is pfizer’s bitch :)

also, in general, I know it sounds scary that covid is airborne, but we have a lot of airborne diseases, and we know how to fight them. They aren’t magic. We can and do manage them all the time. It’s just that for some reason (capitalism), we’ve decided not to this time.

but the information is still available. We don’t have to lie down and let this thing destroy our communities and isolate our disabled and vulnerable neighbors. We have the ability, at any time, to end this shit for real and make our local communities safer, with or without the gov’s help.

we just have to do it.

#covid #covid-19 #covid pandemic #covid help #helpful links #things to know #Real Life with Risa

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

DROP YOUR DX FOR VOX !!!!! Please and thank you.

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

(I've already posted some stuff here so I'm not going to repeat myself.)

Okay, so, Vox has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It's crucial to distinguish this from "common narcissism" (people often described as "narcissists" by others just because they are egotist assholes; kinda ableist, you shouldn't do it because it's extremely stigmatizing towards people suffering with actual NPD) . While those individuals typically function well, those with NPD exhibit all the traits – grandiosity, egocentrism, attention-seeking, intense power fantasies – but as it's a disorder, these traits lead to inflexible and maladaptive patterns of behavior and cognition.

NPD has its roots in intense feelings of shame, low self-compassion, and self-loathing. In my interpretation, Vox has always felt inadequate. His father inherited an enormous amount of money, establishing a media conglomerate in the 20's. Vox's mother, captivated by the world of movies, used them to escape her reality as a trophy wife. Despite her dreams of becoming an actress, Vox's father, possessive and protective, prevented her entry into the entertainment industry. As a compromise, he made their son a child actor, with the condition that it would be temporary. When Vox grew older, he was expected to transition to learning business and other skills, ultimately to take over the family's empire.

So, Vox was never enough for either of his parents. His father thought of him as annoying and unserious due to his talkativeness and exaggerated behaviors, attributing it to growing up surrounded by actors. As for his mother... Vox turned out to be a terrible actor, struggling to convey emotions that weren't bombastic and over-the-top. Being a teenager is humiliating enough, but imagine being a teenager bad at something and forced to do it for a worldwide audience, when the whole production crew is annoyed with you. Fortunately, he grew up to be devilishly handsome (not to be a simp, I just believe someone must be handsome to endure the ethereal punishment of having their face swapped for a TV screen) and entertaining, leading them to make him a TV host and media personality.

Anyway, NPD is all about creating a perfect self and projecting it to the world when you're deeply ashamed of your true self. It means that, no matter what you're doing, you're constantly concerned about how it looks to other people. You constantly play an exhausting game, trying to win gold stars of social admiration for every-fucking-thing, guided by superficial ideals of wealth, perfection, beauty, and, above all, power. One reason Alastor's existence bothers Vox so much is the fact that he cannot comprehend the idea of someone choosing radio over his "objectively better and correct" medium. Vox lacks the ability to understand nuanced sentiments, which ironically makes him thrive in Hell. In this anarchocapitalist, lawless society, survival of the fittest prevails, and this is a game he excels at playing.

Generally, the best approach for individuals with NPD is to pull them out of delusional thinking by confronting their beliefs about the world and themselves with reality (it should be performed by qualified therapist, especially when someone hasn't completed any kind of therapeutic process yet). However, in Hell, Vox's behavior was no longer in violation of social norms; on the contrary, it was highly rewarded. Consequently, he completely lost his shit, became unhinged, and began acting on all his previously suppressed urges. He finally fulfilled all narcissistic power fantasies and became (almost) untouchable. Now, he's ready to kill anyone who questions him, seeing it as threatening to his fragile image of the perfect self.

He exhibits strong bipolar tendencies. Most of the time, he's power-tripping in a semi-maniacal state. Periodically, he undergoes deep, depressive episodes, locking himself up in his apartment and avoiding interaction.

Constantly guarding this fragile image of the perfect self that he built is exhausting. The bigger this image gets, the more fragile it becomes, like a house of cards. And guarding it becomes more and more exhausting. But there's nothing scarier than the idea of the facade falling apart and people seeing him as he is: imperfect and vulnerable, damaged and ashamed, rotten and evil. Deep down, he knows he's unlovable, and it hurts. He knows that true love exists; he craves this ultimate form of admiration and devotion, but it requires vulnerability and honesty, which he's not capable of. He's only vulnerable with Valentino, and only occasionally when he's intoxicated or when Val fucks every last thought out of his body. He's very much a controlling top insecure about his masculinity, so the latter happens rarely.

Also, drugs. Oh, do this man enjoy some coke. Other drugs and booze, not so much; they make him feel less in control. But getting coked up, going out, causing a scene, killing some poor souls, and relishing this feeling of being completely untouchable? Feels so good.

When it comes to Alastor, he hates him because he's jealous. Despite all his efforts—building a perfect persona, a perfect company, perfect entertainment—this stinky, outdated, and boring radio demon gets so much attention and admiration that should be his. Moreover, he feels that Alastor can see right through his bullshit. He's so paranoid about it that he's almost certain Alastor knows about his childhood traumas, about his death, about all his truths, and could one day broadcast it for all people of Hell to hear. So, he needs him dead.

Note: these headcanons (especially Vox's past) are very important part of my fanfiction. Please feel free to use them in your fics but I'll appreciate if you tag me 🩷

Velvette hc | Valentino hc | Vees + Angel hc | VoxVal hc

#vox #vox hazbin hotel #Valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #voxval #staticmoth #headcanon #character analysis #ask

[olderthannetfic]

I really wish people would stop bringing up potential birth defects or genetic disorders as a reason that engaging in incest is morally wrong. It often winds up verging incredibly and uncomfortably close to eugenics rhetoric, for one thing--and for another, the actual risks are MUCH less than people tend to assume, even in close-blood incestuous pairings, unless there have been multiple consecutive generations of intermarrying. But the idea that 'birth defects' or 'genetic disorders' is a reason for a relationship to be immoral to engage in is basically tantamount to saying that disabled people whose disabilities are due to genetics shouldn't have children, and that doing so (or even just engaging in consensual sexual relationships) is immoral, because there's a risk of them passing on those traits.

Not to mention that there are other risk factors (a person over the age of 35 getting pregnant dramatically increases the chances of their child being born with Down's Syndrom, for example), and yet we don't say that it's morally wrong for someone to keep a pregnancy if they are old enough that it's considered At Risk.

It just genuinely does not matter if someone's offspring may be at risk for certain illnesses/disabilities/whatever. That's entirely up to the parents to worry about. The ONLY moral issue with incest is when it involves abuse, which is WHY cousin incest is such a nonissue, barring other circumstances. The absence of abuse means that incest is only 'icky' to some people, not inherently morally wrong.

--

Since I'm old as fuck, I had to do IVF, and hot damn were those eggs bad. A pile of money for genetic testing can solve plenty of that though.

I think people don't realize just how gross they're being because they don't think of historical population bottlenecks and the kinds of genocide and massive oppression that cause them. Not only is it obnoxious to reduce relationships to baby making, but calling people genetically unfit because of inbreeding is not something that hits groups equally or neutrally. There are people with zero recent cousin marriages or whatever in the family who are nonetheless at extreme danger for passing along deadly genetic illnesses that kill in childhood because of historical forces on their ethnic group. We don't get a choice about what's hiding in our DNA, good or bad.

People with their panties in a bunch over genetic illnesses should advocate for more access to genetic testing, which can be financially out of reach for many, and spend a lot less time worrying what kind of sex others are having.

[yeaimsafiya]

CHAPTER ONE back from rehab

SYNOPSIS the beginning of a teenage girl named y/n who is fresh out of rehab but doesn't intend to stay clean.

FROM THE WRITER AHH IM SORRY IM LATE GUYS!! This is the first chapter I'm ever writing, I took some inspo from episode 1 but I'm going to have to cut each episode into fourths because I really don't want to spend a whole week trying to finish a whole episode and school work. But I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter as much as I did - Love you guys, Sapiyah <3

WARNINGS Lots of unnecessary writing, female! reader, mentions of drugs and drinking, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, adult content, adult language, scenes might be uncomfortable for some, some scenes might include mentions of mental illness'

SERIES EUPHORIA

CHARACTERS INCLUDED members of the bakusquad & dekusquad, big three(?), some characters of class 1A

NOTES MDNI! Ageless blogs will be blocked or removed.

Readers discretion is advised

Suddenly, the whole world goes dark and nothing else matters except the person standing in front of you.

You were once happy. Content.

Sloshing and swimming around your own private, primordial pool; Then one day, for reasons beyond your control, you were continuously and repeatedly crushed...

Over..and over.. again by the cervix of your mother, M/n.

You put up a good fight, but eventually lost, for the first time, but not the last.

You were born 3 days after 9/11, your mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding you under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feeling of grief gave away to numbness.

And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in the American suburbs.

|

You were sitting at the dinner table with your mother, M/n, and Father, F/n. But it appeared something else had gotten your attention, a set of numerous lights above the dinner table, in which you wanted to count.

"Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.."

" What are you looking at y/n?"

"..."

"What are you doing? ..Y-y/n look at me."

"One, two, three, .."

"What are you doing Y/n?"

*cries*

|

"Id say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..."

Its not like you were physically abused..

"...attention deficit disorder..."

..Or had some type of clean water storage..

"..general anxiety disorder.."

..Or was molested by a family member.

"..and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little bit too young to tell."

So, explain this shit to me.

|

"Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired; Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with."

"Like who?"

"Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and even Brittney Spears, your favorite!"

You haven't remembered much from the ages of eight to twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and your mind moved slow.

"Does anyone have an idea of what a perception might be?"

And every now and then, if you focused on the way you breathed...

You'd die.

"Slow down, just breathe"

Until every second of the day, you'd find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

..And quite frankly..

"I'm just fucking exhausted"

|

Coming down to the kitchen, you could hear the small talk between your mother and younger sister, S/N.

"You said the doctor was in our network. How can he suddenly be out of network?"

"I can't afford it."

"Did you see that video of the girl who got acid thrown at her face?"

"What? No.."

"It's pretty fucked up.."

"Mom do you know where the tampons are?"

"In my bathroom, right under the sink."

And at one point, you'd make a choice of who you are and what you want.

"Alright Gia, let's go"

"Why do the co-payments cost $300?"

"Y/n did you eat breakfast?"

".."

"What's with the glasses?"

"What glasses?"

You just happened to show up one day, without a map or a compass..

"Attention students, we need to lockdown."

..Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving on iota of good fucking advice.

And I know it all seems sad but guess what? You did not build this system up, nor fuck it up yourself.

But then it happens. That moment where your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.

Then everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, you wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And then suddenly... you give it air again, give it life again.

You remember the first time it happened, where you were so scared you wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But you didn't want to look like an idiot, and you didn't want to fuck up everyone else's night.

And now overtime, that's all you've wanted.. those two seconds of nothingness.

You spent a good portion of summer before junior year in rehab. God granted you the serenity to accept things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Y/N," your sister yelled from afar, greeting you after your long leave. You smiled, and whilst running up to her, tried to continue the conversation with your younger sibling.

"Hey, Come here!"

"How are you?"

"Good, I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Look at you, are you growing?"

"No."

Looking over, you see your mother standing by your family car.

"Hey," you yelled out to her, only to receive a small smile from her.

And with that. you knew it was your time to go.

|

"I'm very happy for you Y/n. You're about to start a brand-new chapter," Your mother says while driving you and your sister to school. You looked at her with a smile, then turned your attention back to the car window.

You had no intentions of staying clean. And yet, Jirou just moved into town.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you'll be friends with," Shoto said, with you standing beside him in his store.

"Who?"

"Shit, I don't know. She came in looking all punk rock and shit; So I'm thinking to myself, like, 'look like somebody Y/n would be friends with'."

Which was sort of a dead-on observation for Shoto, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet earth.

"So how long have you been back?" He asked.

"About five days."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

"Word? That's what's up," You chuckled at his snarky remark, giving him a small smile.

"I'm fucking with you," you said whilst laughing, "It was a joke."

"Shit, hey, I don't judge," he defended, hands raising to just above his chest.

"But for real, is Deku in the back?"

"Are you serious?" Shoto questioned, seeming very disappointed in you.

"What, you think cause' I went to rehab I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?" he asks.

"Yeah, well, the world is coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

You gave Shoto one more smile before going to Deku, whilst Shoto stared at you the entire way there; There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but since you were too busy looking for Deku, you didn't see.

You opened one of the doors of the refrigerators, leading you right to him with a bowl of fruit loops,"I thought your ass was dead," he said one he saw your appearance.

"And I thought you had Asperger's till I realized your just a prick," you barked back.

"This a fickle industry, y'all come and go. I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage," he said while pulling out a bunch of plastic bags out of a microwave.

"So what the fuck do you want?" You gave him a knowing look before he handed you needed.

"You sure you don't want to try something new?" He asks you.

"Like what?"

"2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

"I'm sorry I have no fucking idea of what you just said."

"It doesn't matter," he stated, "but this shit, is fucking lit."

"What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic."

Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual as shit, but definitely a sense distorter.

"What's wrong?" That same dark purple hair girl questioned.

"I'm just so happy," you responded back.

"I don't know, this shits been going off in Tampa, and mad people like to fuck with this," Deku continued on with his descriptions with the drug.

"Okay. Yeah, why not."

"That'll be 120."

"Oh uh, Shoto said he'd spot me."

"Shoto doesn't spot nobody."

"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him."

"I will go ask him, cause' I know your full of shit."

Those were the last words he said before you walked out. Those were the last words you heard before you saw the same two boys in freshman year.

Bakugo and Kirishima.

TAGLIST: (send an ask or reply to add or remove) @urinejaeger, @saturxnn, @lv9su, @minnipe, @flamgosstuff, @lilrockzstar, @actfsgxcv, @lovebuggyboo, @russochild19, @iits-lexie, @mendez5657, @animatronicrat, @thirstygorl, @scrittynotfound, @pleaseleavemebelol, @thymebread, @cocojellie, @vxnanaaa-blog, @tn-johnson, @knotatwink, @hpttstears, @blackcatluna, @queennb-123, @nndntahg

All work is subject to copyright by © yeaimsapiyah as of 2024.

Do not steal, use or reupload my work without given permission or my consent. If so, you will either be blocked, removed, or reported.

#bakusqaud #drama series #mha x reader #my hero acedamia #mha smut #mha class 1a #dekusquad #character x you #character x character #lgbtqiia+ #smut #my hero academia #euphoria #sero hanta #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #mina ashido #jirou kyouka #denki kaminari #deku #tenya iida #shoto todoroki #ochako uraraka #tsuyu asui

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Something i've been meaning to tell people from my experience working at a grocery store deli with disgustingly low health and safety standards and yeah this is probably a main blog kinda post but i'll reach more people if i post it here.

If you intend to order from a grocery store deli, try to go on a slow day. Right after the christian holidays is usually a good choice because people are trying to use up leftovers.

Wear a mask. This is non-negotiable. The pandemic didn't go anywhere and has silently gotten worse because the people incharge care more about numbers on bank accounts than human safety and lives. Do not be part of the problem. Wear a fucking mask.

If you feel like you need a reason to ask food workers to follow basic hygiene policy, you can say you live with someone who has an autoimmune disorder. No one is going to check you on this and that little nudge can help them realize they've been being careless.

Try to be concerned for them when you ask about things like if they've had a chance to wash hands and change gloves. They're under pressure from both customers and management to take as little time as possible and that shouldn't mean disregared health and safety policy but in that situation you don't get a lot of options.

On the flip side, if you request a tool or utensil be washed, because it's true that they can get dirty and make your order look unappetizing, it will take a bit. That is good! That means they're trying to get it done right! In a perfect world they'd have the chance to keep things as clean as they're supposed to be at all times but we don't live in that perfect world.

If you have a good customer service experience, try to let the people in charge know. Just hearing about that can do wonders for morale in as draining a work environment as customer facing food service.

I don't care how good the sale price is, do not demand the clerk shave six pounds of ham for you. That's a dick move to the extreme.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

What made you want to recover. I have anorexia and I don't want to recover I just want to get worse and worse until I'm sick enough. I'm in forced recovery but faking it as I just want to starve is there any reason to recover?

Hello anon, this is a difficult question to answer because for me, personally, it wasn't any one thing that made me want to recover. The truth is that when I started, I didn't understand the long-term effects of what I was doing to myself. I sort of knew about them, but the importance of being thin had been stressed to me all of my life and so I was in a self-destructive place where I was willing to make that choice again and again and risk throwing away my health for thinness. That's pretty fucked up, true, but again, I didn't understand the full extent of the damage I might be doing to myself.

I think it's also worth mentioning that I had an undiagnosed chronic illness and some trauma that I was quietly sitting on because I doubted my own perspective and my ability to access real help for these things. Because of this, I didn't have a frame of reference for mental and physical wellness, because I hadn't felt mentally or physically well for a very long time. Even now, looking back at symptoms I was experiencing, it is hard to know if I was experiencing these things due to my eating disorder or something else. I think it was all cumulative damage, to be honest. The eating disorder didn't help.

But looking back, I think I actually had an eating disorder long before I "decided" to start restricting food. I remember going through a growth spurt during puberty around age twelve and being hungry all the time, but we frequently had the kind of foods people call "junk food" in the house because that's what my parents bought. So that's what I ate a lot of, constantly, and my mother was constantly remarking on it in a negative way and trying to stop me. I have a very complicated relationship with my mother, and she raised me with a complicated relationship to food and body image. I remember doing fucked-up things like sneaking food into the bathroom with me so I could eat snacks in the shower unobserved, or hiding snacks under my bed, and just absolutely gorging on food at other times while knowing I was eating way past the point of being full and not knowing why I wanted to. So I officially decided to start restricting when I was fifteen, but the truth is that I had a fucked up relationship with food way earlier than that.

When I was nearing my seventeenth birthday, I experienced a breakdown in health due to chronic illness. I was suffering terribly. At the time I had this hippie friend who believed everything could be cured with the right diet and supplements. As I mentioned before, I was raised in a household where we didn't fully understand proper nutrition, and I had been raised eating a lot of low-nutrition meals. Because I had a stronger relationship with this friend than with my family, I bought into the mindset that if I got the right nutrients, I would be cured. And, in my mind, I had to get as many of those nutrients as possible as quickly as possible, so I immediately turned back to bingeing. But I was bingeing on a lot of high-nutrient hippie foods, so I didn't see a problem with this. I didn't understand that my relationship to the food wasn't fixed. I wasn't enjoying it, I was gorging on it, and between meals I was desperately anticipating the time I could gorge again. And because it was hippie food, I thought that this would cure me.

The thing was, after over a year of severe restriction, my GI system was wildly unprepared to handle the level of food-stuffing I was about to put it through - even though it was super-healthy hippie food. So I actually got sicker, experiencing the symptoms that come along with suddenly eating real portions after restriction. This led to me alternating between not understanding why the food wasn't working to cure me, to not understanding why I felt so addicted to eating. And this kick-started a violent binge-restrict cycle where I'd force myself to go hungry until certain times a day, at which point I'd unleash myself upon food and be unable to stop. Then I'd restrict again the next day to make up for it, get increasingly desperate for food, and you see the pattern. The binge-restrict cycle is so real.

So I was super trapped in that life and I wanted out. I knew I wanted to get out long before I actually started getting out. Because every time I binged, my immediate response was to hate myself and restrict. That was all I knew. By the time I even started to make a bit of progress on breaking that pattern, I had achieved enough real healing to understand that my restriction days had been a part of what led me down this hellish path and I didn't want to go back to that. To tell you the truth, in order to truly stay away from it - because I'll be real, I do get tempted to go back to restriction from time to time - I have to remind myself that while restricting feels like it would save me, it would only be a stepping stone back into that horrible pattern that kept me so sick and felt impossible to break. And I have to choose wanting better for myself.

Now, your story may not look like mine. So I'm not sure your motivation will end up looking like mine. But what do you need for yourself in order to want better for yourself?

You say you want to do this until you are sick enough. Can I just ask you to take a moment to ask yourself, what do you think is "sick enough?" Would you really stop when you got there, or would you just keep moving the goalpost until your body gave out? Because if you're stuck thinking "I have to do this till I'm sick enough" then believe me - you are sick enough. Your struggle counts. You don't have to wait until the damage is irreversible.

Because the thing is, when you start experiencing long-term sickness as a result - GI disorders, internal organ failure, etc - your suffering will be out of your control. Eating disorders feel like you're taking control, but you're not. And as someone who suffered with chronic illness for years, let me tell you, you don't want "sick enough." I can't tell you for sure what you do want, but allow me to take a guess. Maybe you want the validation that comes from being sick enough. Maybe you want to showcase how awful it got because you want people to care, to be concerned, to validate you. You want indisputable proof that you are well and truly fucked up, that you truly were hurt by whatever it is that hurt you.

The fact is, even some people who are sick enough to be on death's door, from some chronic illness or another, never get that validation or support. Our system is fucked up like that. But understanding that also means you don't have to wait for someone else to validate how hard you struggled and how much you've suffered. You're already sick enough. You don't have to wait for it to get worse in order to deserve better. So what do you need? What do you need in order to affirm to yourself that what you've been through is real? What do you need in order to feel you deserve to get better for real? What do you need in order to keep seeking out that desire to heal even when you're triggered as hell and struggling and forget all the breakthroughs you had once made and all you want to do is say "fuck it then, I'll self-destruct" because that's addicting in its own way?

I hope you're able to seek those answers in your treatment, anon. I hope you're able to affirm to yourself that you deserve to be more well than this, and to love yourself enough to fight for it?

#long post #recovery diaries #ed recovery #ana recovery #binge eating disorder recovery #healing journey #self affirmation #self worth

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

[itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread]

Chaotic and slightly unhinged opinions I have:

- The US is too big

- All medical debt should be, by law, paid by bigots, assuming there is no other reason for being an asshole than their own stubbornness and desire to feel powerful

- Reparations for BIPOC people should come directly from people who have inherited their wealth for hundreds of years and whose ancestors owned slaves

- [Edited] More research needs to be into groupthink and bigoted behaviors in order to prove they are a choice and not a neurological condition. Also, wealth hoarding might be a type of obsession. If they are disorders, there should be treatments available. If they are not, then we should be allowed to harass them as much as we want.

- I’d rather have kids cheat on their homework with chat gpt (which hates bigots) than be a bigot

- Bigots and asshole conservatives are personally responsible for why can’t evolve cool new biological features or develop tech that allows us to do cool things like teleport

- Bigoted bullying/harassment should come with a tax, and that’s how we’ll fund universal free healthcare and education (this gets bigger with your wealth)

And until those things happen and we get a new, less fucked up system, we should all just engage in complete anarchy

#anarchism #leftist #disabled #audhd #capitalist hell #bigotes #bigott #conservatives #fuck conservatives #fuck congress #universal healthcare #free education

[krakenartificer]

Notes on therapist selection

(From someone who is getting a good grade in Having a Therapist, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

Some friends were discussing their work to find a therapist today, and I noticed some unspoken assumptions that can sometimes get in the way of finding someone who's a good fit for your recovery needs, especially around deciding what specializations to look for when no one covers the full range of your crazy. So a list of things to think about that -- as always -- may or may not be useful to anyone except me.

1) On overlapping specializations Anyone who specializes in ADHD or Autism will also have experience dealing with trauma, because every school system I've ever encountered has been traumatizing for NDs. They may or may not call it trauma in their own minds, but they know how to handle "a bad thing happened in my past and it's fucking up my present" problems.

Likewise, everyone who specializes in trauma has experience with anxiety. PTSD was, until 2013, classified as an anxiety disorder. DSM-V puts it in its own category for presumably good reasons, but everyone with PTSD has anxiety (or close enough that you can't specialize in trauma without knowing how to deal with anxiety).

That said ... 2) On picking your therapist based on vibes

Vibes are really more important than specialization. Specialization is important if, like, you have one (1) specific problem and you are looking for a solution for that problem. Like, if your life is fine except that you have ADHD and the executive dysfunction is causing you to be unable to write English essays, then you definitely want an ADHD specialist. But if your opening session is going to be

Therapist: So what brings you in? Me: Well! -straightens lapels- -pulls out easel- -pulls out prepared presentation notes- I have a list

Or

Therapist: So what brings you in? What changes are you looking to make? Me: This -gestures- Therapist: You just pointed to all of you Me: Yes.

then any generic psychologist is as good as any other. You got shit in your head and you gotta detangle it and it's all snarled together anyway, so it's a lot more important that you find someone who you're willing to be working with for years.

3) On finding "the one"

Odds are really really good that you're gonna have more than one therapist in your recovery arc. I did 2 years with one who specialized in psychological impacts on physical health, and it did so. much. for me, and I don't regret it for a moment, but also ... I reached a point where that wasn't the specialization I needed anymore, and also the shit in my head I needed to deal with was the kind of shit that (for trauma reasons) I couldn't talk about to someone in that therapist's demographic. So I left that practice, and found my current therapist.

My current therapist is great, and I'm really glad I'm working with him, but it's entirely possible that he's not going to be able to sort out this entire mess. We may reach a point where his specialties of relationships and adhd are not my bottlenecks any more, and he doesn't really have the tools he needs to handle what my next bottleneck is, and I'll go find someone else who can meet my needs at that time. This is normal and expected, and it's entirely fine to plan on it by (for example) deciding that you want a specialist in this thing right now, and you'll go find a specialist in this other thing later.

4) On Shopping

It's entirely reasonable to have more than one therapist this week. You are in no way expected or required to pick a single therapist based off of some profile pictures, a bio on the website, and a phone call, and then you're stuck with them forever. It is normal and understood that you will set up appointments with half a dozen therapists, and then pick two (or three) to do another session with, before settling into a single choice. Or don't! If you like two therapists for different reasons, and you'd rather work with them simultaneously instead of serially, then feel free to schedule with twice as many therapists, half as often. This ain't a wedding; you don't have to restrict yourself to only one.

Narrow down your choices as quickly as you want to based on your anxiety about not having a decision, based on your executive dysfunction and inability to track multiple things, based on how you feel about each one ... but don't narrow them down to one just because you think that's "the rules", somehow.

5) On Being Abrasive

If you know, upfront, what some of your dealbreakers are, just straight-up say that as you're scheduling the appointment or in the first session. My last therapist became a problem for me because she expressed empathy in a way that was too similar to the way my abuser used weaponized politeness to deny me boundaries; I couldn't talk to her about my violations because her demeanor was too similar to the person who violated me. So when I first talked to my current therapist, I told him, "I need someone who, if they think I'm full of shit, will say 'I think you're full of shit.'" He replied "One of my other clients calls me 'Deadpool'." I said, "Perfect. Let's give it a shot."

So if you really care that someone will let you schedule appointments online, or will never touch your wrist, or will treat your "disorder" as a neurodivergence to be accommodated rather than a problem to be solved, then say so. The sooner you both know that, the better: if you have particular needs, they need to know that now; and if they're not willing to meet your needs, YOU need to know that now.

(You will not, of course, always know your dealbreakers upfront. When I picked my first therapist, my primary problem was hip pain, and I didn't know it was PTSD. It was through her help that I realized that (a) I had trauma and (b) she was way too like my abuser for me to treat PTSD with her. This was not a failure. This was a massive success, because learning that was what allowed me to find someone who could help me (see point #3). It's fine if you don't know, right now, what you need -- that's part of why vibes are so important (see point #2). But whatever information you can give them, it is helpful to do so, and (despite what people in your past have implied) it is not rude, it is beneficial and desired.

6 - not advice, just a reminder

You are beautiful and brave and strong and I am so proud of you for fighting through all the shit -- both internal and external -- to get yourself help. No one ever talks about how hard it is to get to the point where you schedule that first meeting with that first therapist, and I want you to know that it is painful, it is challenging, and you're not lazy or stupid or whatever other lie your brain is telling you.

#therapy #how to life #how to recovery #long post #recovery #trauma cw #abuse cw #mental illness cw #gpoy #PTSD cw

[thebottomfromhell]

I want some angst. How about the Superior Moons kill him for a certain reason and go on with their lives normally, but finding themselves unable to escape of your "ghost". Little things they saw or did reminded them of you and that started to torment them, turning into sadness and longing, although like demons it was very likely that they didn't quite understand these feelings. Preference for human and male readers, but can be gender neutral too

We want some angst! I'm very sorry of how late this came, I really hope I can make up for the time. It was a long and busy week.... also, I hope everyone had a nice Halloween! Thanks for everything and let's see if you enjoy this work.

Uppermoons facing the "ghosts" of dead Human Male Reader

Warnings: Angst, Manga spoilers, Cannibalism, Literally dead reader, Self-harm, Self-steem/self-worth issues, Unhealty dependency, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Eating disorders, Character with PTSD, Character with paranoia, Emotionally stunted character,

Gyutaro (ft. Daki):

This wasn't supposed to happen, you were not supposed to die! He just... forgot how fragile you can be and how aggresive Daki can get, ok? Ok, he forgot. He forgot and that costed you your life.... fuck! He should have done something! Said something! Protected you! Kept your mouth shut! Anything! "Onii-chan?" She doesn't have any blood on her as he focus his gaze as his own blood heals (he is scratching his face, there as pieces of skin missing and a lot of blood), of course she wouldn't. Daki didn't like you that much, to her you where just some random guy trying to steal her big brother away. You were too proud to actually try and get along with her, you didn't like her much neither. "Are you ok?"

He can se your death in her, and he loathes it but... "Let me hug you.... ne..." he just smiles as she open her arms to recieve her onii-chan as Gyutaro butries his face on her shoulder, not minding that his blood is falling into her as he heals. It's her blood as well (she thinks remembers that much). Gyutaro always chose her over you and there is not even the choice right now, so.... and even if it wasn't the case, she is first.

Because you would have left anyway, was it because Gyutaro is nothing but an ugly freak or dying as a human. You would leave, you left, and it's because of him. Meanwhile Daki won't, can't leave. "I'm so sorry.... little sister... my little sister.... that you have such a pathetic excuse of a brother...." he hugs her tight as he whispers, not crying but needing to feel she is there, that she is safe, that is is happy. "Wha- No! Onii-chan is the best! You are the best big brother ever!" No, he is not. He failed her before, just like he failed you. He is nothing but a failure to others.

He is completely sure most people would be better if he never existed at all, but most of them are people he doesn't care about so he doesn't mind, let their lives be worse. But.... would Daki be better if he was not her onii-chan? You definetely would have been better off if you had never met him.... he should have let his mother kill him.

Gyokko:

You had a really bad taste from time to time, you know? He really tried to teach you how to correct it, but... you were a mere human. A handsome man, with an attitude Gyokko switched into hating and loving, but still a human. He should have known from the start to not get his hopes on you, he only ever wasted his precious time and effort on your but you have also tainted his art. Now in his times of creation he can't fully concentrate, the lessons he gave still imprinted in his mind! Every time he tries to connect with the sublime feeling a memory of you awakes! How is he supposed- fuck it! Let's just speak normaly.

You did a number on him, and Gyokko doesn't like that. What what else is there left to do? He already killed you, your guts are in a pot right now. He would get rid of them but he has been just adoring the taste so far, too bad he really can't get more from where those came from. That would be an interesting concept for a work of art, too bad it would only work on demons. Maybe he should have turned you into a demon instead of killing you, but you were so offensive to hi- HERE YOU GO AGAIN! YOU DON'T LET HIM CONCENTRATE!

Why can't you just leave like the rest? You keep pestering and pestering even after dying. This is why he killed you. But one day he will move on, until then... well, it's his own business.

Hantengu:

It wasn't him... it wasn't him, please believe it wasn't him! It's not his fault, he is innocent! Those are false accusations! False! .... But nobody is accusing Hantengu of anything. He is just.... it just wasn't him, ok? Don't mind that he is lying please, just believe it wasn't him. He wouldn't have killed you if you had believed it, but you didn't and NOW YOU ARE DEAD!! He can't take it! It's too much! Too much for him! Tiny and pathetic, defenseless against those villains! Those villains are to blame!

You are not coming back, though... are you? Not that he did anything but you are not mad at him, right? You would not become an onryō and take revenge, right? You love him too much for that! Probably... so it's just his imagination. Things just look like you, that it's why shadows have your face! The clones say there is nothing there, that he is just nostalgic, melancholic, maybe even guilty. They just don't get it! You are there!

He is constantly in a panic, trying to scape, trying to deny, "pl-pl-please leave me alone!" He crys and sobs when you are not there, yet... you are everywhere. The clones don't believe it so they can't protect him! Someone help him! You can't do it anymore... because Hantengu killed you.

Sekido:

You were the one to cross the line first, that is what Sekido tells himself. You made him angry, of course he was bound to react! You didn't make sure to have the other clones as back up! (Where the fuck was Karaku?! He is the one to take the bad end in those situations!) You were to one to insist, and insist, and insist in your argument of "I wAnT tO sTaY a HuMaN!" Look how well that ended, since you died a human! You should have just let Sekido turn you!

He is always angry, always violent. You knew that, said you loved hin for that but it seems you did all you could to deny yourself that Sekido could hurt you. THIS IS SO IRRITATING! You are- were a mere man, how DARE you go against him and think that just because he liked you a little you would get a free pass in surviving Upper 4?! That was so idiotic it infuriates him! "SHUT THE FUCK UP, Y/N!" He turns around to find Karaku, corcened for the other clone. Pleasure doesn't say anhthing, clearly contemplating if he should try and comfort Sekido, leave him be or tease him, last one is very tempting. You would know, you also liked to tease Sekido, and a lot.

Sekido uses his staff to attack Karaku, angry that his sole presence is reminding him of you, that he lost you. The anger is almost consuming him, to the point tears appear in his eyes as his face becomes red. He hates it! Just ehy did you have to be so stupid?! Why did he have to love you?! "Fucking.... WHY ARE YOU SO INFURIATING?!" His chest aches and he can only let the anger get the best of him, that is how he is built, after all. Maybe it was bound to happen, and it makes him cry.

Karaku:

You liked to stargaze a lot, it was of the few activities you could both do together any time. Most of the time you fell asleep, tired of whatever you did once the sun came up. Karaku always asked but barely did any effort to keep the information in his head, why would he? It was a world he was never part of. But he knew you, besides not knowing who you were under the sun, he knew the man you were under the moon and the stars. He likes that man a lot.

He tries not to feel guilty of your death, it was an accident, after all. He was fighting off some slayers and overdid it with his attack, making some trees fall over you. Humans are so easy to break, he always had to be way to careful with you. So he is more delicate with things on average now, so the won't break the same way you did. He doesn't like being careful, but it helps. He wonders where you are, he heard some people once say people go.... up. Whatever that means

Are you in the stars he is looking at? Can you see him? Karaku feels he can see you, so he will jeep coming back for you. "Are you that star? Shines more than the rest. I bet you are there." He is pleasure. He is not meant to be sad, or angry, or frustrated, or mourning, or... or anything that is not pleasurable. So... he keeps getting pleasure from you, in some way. "You better be dedicating it to me."

Urogi:

Urogi molts a lot, and that is not normal. He only ever does it when he is stressed, before that meant whenever was a fight between the clones or their master showed sights of being dissapointed or to show aggression, but now? He is doing it from start to end whenever he separates from the rest, leaving the others extremely concerned. Feathers fall off like leaves of a tree in autumn as they keep groing back, Urogi scratches himself way too much, not only ripping them off but irritating the skin and sometimes even causing wounds. If it wasn't because of his regeneration he would definetely look like those caged birds, almost featherless and and sore red, tensed up.

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Please Y/N! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He is joy, he is not supposed to be like this. He is not supposed to cry, whine and beg like a pet that misses it's owner, but he misses you. He misses you a lot. He can't even look at himself without remembering you, because he can no longer feel you, smell you, see you or touch you. It was an accident, and he feels extremely guilty for it. He knew you could not keep up with him, that you could not stand him playing rough. He doesn't know why he did it, he got way too excited and suddenly... you were bleeding out. Urogi tried to help, but you had already lost too much blood by the time he got you to some human place.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Y/N! Y/N! Please come back! Please come back!" He keeps scratching himself, blood falling off his wings and wrists as it dries when the wounds heal, skin still irritated against the constant friction as he lies on to of the group of feathers that also start to cover him. You also liked his feathers a lot, just like he liked you a lot. He is basically waiting for to to pick him up, even if he knows you will never come back. "Y/N! Y/N! Please!"

Aizetsu:

He was always sad, is always sad. He is used to it, besides he doesn't come out that often. Sekido is a lot less careless than Karaku with his neck, and most of the time the those two are more than enough to deal with anything. Aizetsu doesn't like to come out, to work, to fight. You were one of the very few things that made him want to be separated from the others, he was not able to skiot his duties as Upper 4, but he always adored your company. Than you got in the way in a fight, and not only that, you got injured, and badly. One didn't need the knowledge he had of the human body to know you would not survive, and killing you quick instead of letting you agonize would be the most merciful thing to do. He knew exactly where to strike to make it painless, and he did it for you.

He can't bring himself to regret it, it was for the best, but that doesn't change the fact that he is disliking a lot more than he used to being outside. It's just sad. Sometimes he wonders why he isn't a "crybaby" or something, he just... doesn't cry, can't bring himself to do so, even for you. He doesn't know if it's because his body is so deppresingly tired or if it's his demon nature, but he is not one of those people who constantly cry, even is he constantly feel the need to express sadness.

"Y/N.... are you better in there?" He asks in the sky knowing there won't be an answer, the outside reminds him of you, even if now it feels... a little bit more empty than before. "I really hope you are." He misses you dearly, and he won't ever deny that. He wants you, but men like yourself are not meant to be forever around demons. You are meant to be free, he is not. That is sad.

Nakime:

Nakime is a quiet person, you were never as silent as her. It's weird to be back at the spaces empty of any sound, even your breathing made a noise she could detect, louder than hers, it took her a while to get used to it. Now, it seems it will also take her a while to get used of it being gone. She never thought she would miss a man, much less a human one, specially after she was the one who killed you. Well, it was not really her, but she is still responsible, since she should have known better than to let you wonder through the castle. Why didn't you tell her so she could keep an eye on you.

Nakime is a demon with a power than is above time and space, she didn't realize you got lost for long enough time for it to be unhealthy. She found you before you died, but the lack of food, water and sun made you sick, and that eventually kicked in. Why are humans so weak? Se doesn't remember being that fragile before she was turned, but again, she doesn't remember much about it.

Now the silence reminds her that you are gone for good, and she doesn't know what to do about it, since she doesn't have it inside her to fill it with anything that are not the cords that should have saved you. Another reminder. Then again, she will be ok. She lost her husband once she can get over another man in her life. She will get over it.

Akaza:

He didn't want to... but why? Just why? He tried to save you. Akaza barely remembers what happened, just that you were kissing and suddenly biting into each other and your scent, the one of your blood was so good, he couldn't help but have a taste. He has been so hungry! He already wasn't a glutton demon, but after meeting you he just... ate less. He ignored his master anger and disapproval in order to gain yours, to show he was not a monster, no matter how painful it became (Akaza suspects he has been manually making it worse as a punishment), he fasted. (Akaza already did fast from time to time as a buddhist, but extending the time periods did harm him).

Now he is not eating at all, he can't. Before he just could not eat women, they didn't do it, she was just a maid, how was Hakuji not supposed to let her go? But now? Now he can't eat men neither. The masculine scent, the high levels of testosterone, the blood... it ends up being you! It's always you! He can't it no matter how hard he tries to swallow- it hurts! But you being dead hurts even more than the angry twists in his stomach, and he is getting weaker. He needs to eat but he can't.

Why has Muzan-sama not killed him already? Did he enjoy seeing Akaza like this? A crying mess that only awaits for death? Because he wants to die. He doesn't care anymore, he WANTS TO DIE! Let him go back, let him go back! "Please... please, I beg you. Just kill me. Just kill me! KILL ME RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT THIS LIFE! I DON'T WANT A LIFE THEY ALL LEFT ME BEHIND!" He screams and sobs as he lies down on the ground, exposed. No swordsman comes in, they are all dead. No oddly optimistic adult hitting him until he calms down, he is also dead. No soft girl trying to make him feel better, she also died. Not even you, because he killed you.

Times passes, is the sun coming out. He feels like dying, he really feels like dying right now. Is the sun coming up? It doesn't even matter, is a matter of time. And as always, death comes by a whisper "Kibutsuji Muzan."

Douma:

Sometimes, just sometimes, Douma misses talking to you. But good things got to end sooner or later, don't they? And this ways, you will be always part of him, living forever inside. He had to find new ways to entertain himself at first, after he killed you, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Just a bit of boredom! Everyday he finds new ways to entertain himself, might as well go to see what other Uppermoons are doing. If he is lucky he might even find Akaza-dono! Akaza-dono is always fun to be with, is the only one that doesn't try to scape him or outright ignore him, he is the closest thing he ever had to an equal. Yes, thinking about him is making think a bit less about you, should definetely give it a try.

Why does he things about you and his chest feels uncomfortable would be odd if it hadn't happened before. He has told you, shared that detail with you. You were a guy he could tell anything too, instead of just the other way around (that is probably why he misses you so much), so ofcourse you knew about Kotoha! Though, you seemed to dislike having Douma talking about for too long, you did your best to hide it, but he knew. How funny that you are now it the same situation then! Except he ate you for different reasons, you got too hurt by another demon a night you were outside, but you were just so hurt. Really bad, he just had to end your suffering, he did not like seeing you like that....

"I'm heading out tonight, thank you! I will be back in time to meet my followers, bye!" He tells a servant who knows, his parents served him too, got to see him grow up into an old man. Douma never got attached to him or his parents, just like he never got attached to his own parents, or any rollower at all... well, that is not true! You, Kotoha and to a lesser extent Inosuke have craved yourself a place in his mind, never leaving at all, following him 24/7, causing preassure in his chest. It's annoying. "Now, whe could Akaza-dono be today? Or maybe I can just visit the siblings! I know exactly where those are!" Douma will live, though. Same as always.

Kokushibou:

Get out of his head.... GET OUT OF HIS HEAD! YOU HAVE NO PLACE AMONG THE LIVING ANYMORE, IF HE CAN BE CONSIDERED LIVING, YOU ARE DEAD! And a dead man should always stay dead! He can't even look at his Katana without seeing your reflection in it! GET OUT! He hates it, he hastes how the death of a human is affecting him this much, he heates that he can't forget anything of you. What is he? A lovesick maiden? Damn it, why did that come to his head. You always used to call him a "fair and shy maiden", joking that you were his destinied gentleman. AS IF! NOT ONCE YOU EVER FIT INTO THE STANDARDS OF THE GENTRY!

He hates you. It's your fault! Why did you die?! What did you think was going to happen if you wore Hanafuda earings?! That he would like them?! That he would feel nice! He TOLD you several times the Hanafuda earings were nothing to mess with, that it was a past he didn't want to share. Was that your way to try and make him tell you? Tell you about a freak of a twin brother who was the strongests withojt even trying?! Brother that was better than him in every way?! Bother that now is DEAD and Michikatsu Kokushibou never had a chance?! Well, NOW YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!

"Why did you have to be just like him? I hate you both." He speaks out loud. He hates you. He hates Yoriichi. He hates himself.... you deserved it and he will forget you. Sooner or later he will have to fully forget you both. He has time enough for that. He should just focus, and practice with the katas. "Hachi no kata...." And best you all.

#demon slayer #kny #upper moons #kny x reader #top reader #karaku #urogi #gyutaro #aizetsu #douma #sekido #gyokko #hantengu #akaza #nakime #kokushibou #daki

[punkeropercyjackson]

As an irl punk who consumes tons of media due to autism,it's astonishing to me how people insist characters who turned into child abusing or even fascistic villains had no choice but to turn out that way because they had shit tons of childhood trauma-The whole reason i'm punk is BECAUSE i have a big ass load of childhood trauma.And i don't mean 'Well SOME of us are taught healing coping mechanisms so they should've known better!!',i've gone to therapy exactly twice in my life so i had to learn to cope BY MYSELF and y'know what the first one i did was?Saying 'fuck you' to everyone who hurt me by refusing to be as cruel as they were to me and spreading kindness to everyone i met so they wouldn't have to go through what i did and it WORKED not just for me but in healing the other survivors i've befriended and even as a kid i was always nice to my younger siblings and used to get into fights with bullies for picking on me and my schoolmates,none of who were even my friends

"But they're fighting the system that hurt them!!!!"And is the direct action they take to dismantle it and replace it with a beneficial and fair one instead of spending time fucking around destroying the lives of people who have no power in it in the room with us right now?

"They have so many symptoms they can't help but evil!"Skill issue.I'm cluster b with ptsd and four neurodivergent disorders including autism and they's been beating my ass since i turned 18 and i'm completely unmedicated and that's made people treat ME badly,not the other way around,and there's no such thing as 'mental ilness that turns you evil' and my friends with more stigmatized ones than me can confirm it

"They never fit in anywhere so why should they try to be a good person instead of giving in?"Yeah,that's called sellingout.You think nobody who's super earnest and optimistic and presents in a way that's deemed 'weird' by society is that way of spite in addition to it just being their personality?That's me and it got me tons of friends and TWO girlfriends and maxing out my inner child's healing points babey!!!

"Not EVERYONE can choose to be good!"You literally can regardless of what you've been through and what you were born as and if they choose to do bad things instead with no redeeming themselves ever then they're also A FUCKING PUSSY

#I'M RIGHT! #pastel punk tag #solarpunk #acab #socialism #anarchism #indiepunk #autigender #genderpunk #afropunk #traumapunk #riot grrrl #catkin #dragonkin #ghostkin #actuallyautistic #blackness #black femme #trans #anti kylo ren #anti reylo #anti slytherin #anti harry potter #the WHOLE franchise including fanon #anti luke castellan #lotor deserved worse #anti slade wilson #anti joker #hopepunk #summerposting

[annabelle--cane]

at the risk of sounding Really Bad and with the caveat that I mean this in the most pro vaccine pro taking Covid extremely seriously way possible. I think conflating mental health/personal hobbies and habits with physical health and wellness in the time of a literal plague is actually part of why we are where we are. The example of opting out of treating a broken bone that you used is the perfect metaphor because that’s something that mostly effects the person with the broken bone. But if you’re treating every goddamn thing a person can do like it’s potentially viral it makes it easy to sound reasonable to advocate for a lot of vigilance against individual choice. Is this totally off base? do I sound like a reactionary dipshit conspiracy theorist right now? Just… there’s something here right??

even if that isn't the total root cause, I definitely think you're onto something. covid is literally a deadly and disabling viral disease, so the logic of "your actions regarding this impact others" makes total sense, but I think a lot of people took that language and framework and just ran with it, hoping that alluding to a deadly and disabling viral disease would lend credence to their arguments about mental health and personal decisions.

for example, I am constantly thinking about this take I saw on a post about drug decrim in december 2021. it's so special and dear to my heart, it makes no fucking sense at all. the only copy of the screenshot I still have saved is just the tail end of it and it has my annotations, so bear with me.

first, just for a moment, I love the complete breakdown of internal logic. we need to end the stigma around drug abuse but I think using heroin is exactly like being anti-vaxx. we should decriminalize all drugs but you'd have to be craaaazay to think that legalizing them is okay. wait until this person learns that some addiction treatment programs include prescribing opioids as a harm reduction measure.

second, using heroin is in no way like being anti-vaxx oh my god, and this person just can't tell. they are explicitly applying viral disease logic to mental illness* and choices about individual bodily autonomy. I don't want to minimize the pain and distress that can come from having a loved one with a substance use disorder, but in no world is it the same thing as refusing to go to cvs a few times to get a free vaccine against, once again, a deadly and disabling viral disease. groundbreaking leftist take: drug use makes you a hazard and drain on society and honestlyyyy you should think about the consequences of your actions before choosing to become an addict :/

I don't have screenshot for this next example, but I've also seen this language and mindset particularly come up a lot in discussions about "bimboism," makeup, and cosmetic surgery. I've seen several discussion threads where a woman finally just says "look, I'm adult, I've thought about this, I've interrogated myself, and ultimately I still want to do it and I can do what I want with my body" and the comeback to usually is "are you stupid? this isn't just about you, you're a member of a society who inherently expresses your ideology through your choices. the personal is political, stop being so individualistic. what will young girls think when they see you in a miniskirt calling yourself a slut?"

again, the final point that's meant to win the argument is that your choices about your body aren't fundamentally your own but Society's, because other people can look at your body and have feelings about it, they may even want to emulate it. for an added bonus, this one doesn't just use viral disease logic, but also borrows heavily and directly from the really basic conservative idea that women are less people and more living mannequins that you can dress up and use to show off the ideals of your social group. you can't wear that, men might see you and think you're a hussy and then it'll be your fault when they harass other women, little girls might see you and copy you like mindless drones.

*obligatory asides that plenty of people can recreationally use substances without being addicted and they're also fine + I know that classifying addiction as a mental illness is a hotly debated topic, especially in antipsych contexts, but that's a whole different can of worms to the topic at hand.

#answered #anons #id in alt text

[chaos-in-one]

I hate you anyone who treats systems like they have to hate every single part of their disorder to be Actually Disordered

Anyways, I have OSDD, and I don't hate my system, and I am still very much disordered. I don't hate the other alters, I don't hate that I'm a part of this system. This system helped me, and all of us survive. Some of the other alters helped me get through things that I otherwise would have been unable to get through. They helped me feel less alone when I was struggling and hurt. They helped motivate me to keep changing for the better.

Fuck anyone who says that means I'm no longer disordered. My feelings towards a specific part of my disorder don't erase the negative effects other parts of it have had on me. It won't erase the memory gaps, the dissociation, the alters I don't like or get along with, the fact that I will never have a body to myself because of this disorder, or any of that.

And even those things that do hurt me, I am under no obligation to hate them to prove my validity as a disabled person. I can recognize the real harm they do without hating the symptoms or my disorder. And I don't hate them. Don't get me wrong, I don't like them either, and if I had the choice I would get rid of the harmful symptoms in a heartbeat. But I still recognize that these symptoms, this disorder, is the reason we survived our childhood. It saved us for years. And to me, that outweighs enough of the pain it has caused for me to no longer feel hatred for it. And me not hating it is HEALTHY. It's GOOD because it shows I am understanding and accepting myself as I am, it was a huge step for me in learning to cope and heal, in learning how to manage my own symptoms.

It's okay to not hate your disorder, or your symptoms. It will never ever make you any less disordered, any less disabled. It can never erase your disability.

#syscourse #ableism #actually osdd #actually dissociative #actually disabled #actually disordered