#the point of queer is that it's INCLUSIVE and it is far preferable than any amount of plus signs and letters you tack on to the acronym

[meggydolaon]

It's funny everytime I see people saying "you can't use queer as an umbrella term bc I don't reclaim that word therefore you're excluding ME" because aphobes have seared into my brain that "it's L G B T, no more no less!" and by funny I mean I want to bash my head into a wall

#meg talk #obvious disclaimer that people have different experiences yada yada and we can coexist without hurting each other #but dear god queer discourse drives me insane #the point of queer is that it's INCLUSIVE and it is far preferable than any amount of plus signs and letters you tack on to the acronym #also queer carries with it a sense of solidarity and activism that lgbtqia+ can never replicate #if it's a queer space I'm safe if it just says lgbt I need to watch my back for aphobes and exclus I've already been burned before

[mejomonster]

Any other trans friends i could use ur personal knowledge input. Ill also look this up though so don't worry im assuming like the definution of bi theres gonna be varied overlapping definitions

(So pre warning these first big paragraphs are preamble on what ive heard as far as more recent definitions, it can ALL be skipped down to my question. Basic summary is: DEI taught about gender identity, gender presentatuon, and sexuality spectrums and how they dont necesarily match the way stereotypes would expect as each Individual experiences those 3 spectrums their own way). Okay so the last time i got proper formal definitions taught was a Diversity Equity Inclusion training. Which was eons ahead of what my schools ever taught but it was still not all encompassing. Training included mentioning: sexuality is a spectrum, pansexuality and bisexuality are being able to feel attraction to multiple genders, heterosexuality and homosexuality are attraction to one gender, asexuality as an umbrella term for people who experience no sexual attraction or various levels different than the other sexualities, queer is an all encompassing umbrella term that lgbt people may use but a person outside the community should not use to refer to a person unless specifically asked to (and its also a label various academic texts use to describe lgbt elements discussed). Also the romantic attaction spectrum was mentioned, as like the sexuality spectrum but not necessarily matching it for any particular person (as in one can be bisexual and demiromantic, homoromantic and asexual, not just say bisexual and alloromantic). Training mentioned gender identity is a spectrum (and nonbinary is an umbrella term, as is genderqueer, for various identites that dont identify as men and women, agender includes people who do not identify with genders - basically gender is diverse as human experience, as with all other points).

Gender Presentation is a spectrum, and they do NOT have to match up (such as a butch woman, a feminine woman who goes by he him, a feminine man who uses he him, a masculine looking man who wears dresses basically in terms of clothing hair pronouns social activities any person can embody any kind of traits along the masculine to feminine spectrum - and may also align them differently as in a country woman may see "girls dont cry!" As a feminine associated expectation while an oldest son might also see "boys dont cry" as a masculine associate expectation to his own life experience, i could go on forever but basically clothes/hobbies do NOT equal gender identity. Pronouns do NOT necessarily equal gender identity). So like. The trainer my nonbinary coworker used examples like them using the pronouns they/he/she and prefering to dress more masculine but still using they/she/he and sometimes really enjoying dresses and still using they/she/he, of how some butch women may prefer he him or she her and theyre women If they simply identify as women, women who wear pants and no makeup and go by she her, men who love makeup and go by he him, some of my coworkers realized that day they prefered they/them (presentation) even if their gender identity was man or woman. Basically the point is Presentation is diverse. There is no one to one perfect list of traits to define what each gender identity "must be." Youre your gender identity because you are that gender, it feels right for you. You express and present yourself how you want, and that doesnt necessarily align with masc for men or fem for woman or androgynous for nonbinary, those are just the basic things strangers might assume. And the person labelling themselves understands more than you. (So in this case like gender nonconforming presentation would be a man who wears glam makeup or woman who never wears makeup, a nonbinary person who leans heavily into clothes that arent associated with androgyny, im not explaining well but i hope u are kinda getting my point).

Anyway my point was Gender Identity (im a guy a girl im nonbinary im agender), is not the same as Gender Presentation (the spectrum of human traits society vaguely interprets as masculine feminine and androgynous and where each individual lands in terms of presenting themselves such as clothing, hair, hobbies, social traits, etc)

Now my question Im really confused about:

Im nonbinary im bi. Im also a few other things and sometimes just saying im queer makes my life easier.

Im a bit confused about what transmasc and transfem as labels mean. Because i can only interpret the words on my current knowledge by guessing the masc and fem in the words Either relate to Gender Identity, or Gender Presentation. The words obviously are for trans people. But i have no idea at all where a trans butch woman falls in this scale, or a trans man who dresses very femininely, or nonbinary people like me who embrace masculinity and femininity a lot (and hey its okay if maybe nonbinary ppl like me just dont fit inside these terms).

Is the masc and fem in those labels referring to "man-spectrum" gender IDENTITY and "woman-spectrum" gender IDENTITY?

So this would mean maybe transfem: trans woman, any nonbinary or genderqueer person who relates slightly more to feeling the gender of woman, this would include trans butch women, and nonbinary people with beards etc who present visually very masculine but identify slightly more with women

Transmasc: trans man, nonbinary or genderqueer person who relates more slightly to the gender of man. This would include feminine trans men who wear dresses and makeup, include nonbinary people who Present visually very feminine but identify slightly more with men

OR is the masc and fem relating to gender PRESENTATION? Which would mean the terms include any trans person of any gender identity, who mainly presents masculine or mainly presents feminine

Transfem: trans women who are feminine presenting, trans men who are feminine presenting, nonbinary people who are more feminine presenting visually (feminine presenting as in clothing, hairstyles, hobbies etc that generally are interpreted by others as feminine)

Transmasc: trans men who are masculine presenting, trans women who are masculine presenting, nonbinary people who are more masculine presenting visually

Can you see where im getting confused? Depending on if masc and fem are refering to gender identity Or presentation, a trans butch woman is transmasc or transfem. So would a trans butch woman be transfem for transitioning to a woman physically, or transmasc for physically presenting masculinely and being trans. Would a nonbinary person who medically transitioned taking testosterone who wears dresses and makeup be a transmasc (for being a trans man) or transfem for being a trans person who presents feminine fashion choices. And im assuming the labels dont include nonbinary people that dont really lean one way or the other but like... if a nonbinary person is included in the terms is it based on the gender they more closely identify to on the spectrum (which for some of us is None, is multiple, is gender identities not within man or woman), or in the terms it is based on their visual presentation (which again! Nonbinary people can be androgynous, can embrace masculinity and femininity, can embrace one more than the other, can present our selves in ways meant to exclude those categorizations).

Tldr: is the masc and fem in transfem and transmasc refering to gender Identity or gender Presentation?

(And i suppose part of my confusion is like. Unfortunately in my social media experience over the last 10 years i saw the rise of "are you afab or amab" which screamed unpleasant unnecessary attempts to drag us back to "but what were u before transition" bullshit, and then recently in the "girl dinner" "boys are academia girls are shopping" and the lgbt community similar memes "lesbians are cottagecore gay men are clubbing" "transmen are so bob the builder transwomen are so my little pony" its giving Gender Expectations. Its giving: old school traditional limiting gender requirements on people if they want to conform to traditionalist norms. Its giving girls are stupid and soft abd emotional and boys are strong and smart and analytical - which isnt true by the way, you can be any traits regardless of gender identity you are. Ive been seeing a lot of "transmascs are army clips" "transfem are delicate jewelry" memes lately and its just like... aside from the fact im already sick of reinforcing gender stereotypes in a broad way. The memes are also confusing me because im like okay so is this implying trans men MUST be masculine, and transwomen MUST be feminine? Cause if its about gender identity, then that sure feels like thats the implication. I dont necessarily think the actual labels imply that necessarily, but i do think the memes of this nature just like ALL the widespread gender-stereotype memes imply some shit about expectations i do not like seeing reinforced as much as it goes around)

#rant #id appreciate it if a follower or mutual shared the definitions as they understand them #cause yall are the ones i see using the words most so its more important i know what You consider transmasc or transfem #since if say a tiktok definition differs well its good to be aware but i need to be able to #understand and respect the definition of the label as people mean it Here on tumblr #im a nonbinary who doesnt lean toward any other gender identity and presents the full spectrum of fem to masc #so im fairly sure i. probably dont fit inside those labels at all

[ars0nism]

okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.

SO.

heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist

rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)

labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)

if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc

look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it

queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)

exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)

fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)

the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people

really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.

intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)

the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)

febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)

this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.

terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !

they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)

and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller

pronouns in bio

some variation of lgbtq+

following trans blogs

inclusive

mature fucking human being

and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.

BUT!

let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to

CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.

Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.

If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.

Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)

Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.

If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.

(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)

#feel free to add onto the checklist tbh if you have any other good things #i focus mostly on easy to notice flags #with my checklist usually i catch a terf within five to ten minutes #the amber point. i dont care about the case. but everyone ive seend efending her turned out to be a terf. SO #long post

[variousqueerthings]

i have minor musings that arent based in anything outside of the anecdotal that transmascs who are/have been lesbians/involved in the lesbian community might be overall less interested in building spaces with cis men (non-homogenously, and also depending on whether they’ve been heavily involved in cis-male spaces in other contexts I think, like the “how to transition when your models of masculinity are macho biker dudes” essay) than transmascs who came to their trans-masculinity in other ways

(this isn’t technically about sports, but my main examples are sports, because I am doing a lot of sports-related research -- a little vague, but fill-in-yer-own-examples where you see them fit with a question)

this not as any kind of judgement of the first or the second very broad-strokes brushing groups, I was just thinking that I was having a lot of conversations with transmascs who were also lesbians, or had formerly id’d as lesbians, and we were talking about space-building in sports in particular (but not singularly), and most of them were thinking that the best scenario would be spaces inclusive of cis-women, trans people, nb people, but no cis men

they were thinking far more about keeping ties with their lesbian communities as a matter of priority, because that is their community, while I (and a few others who either were never in lesbian communities or were in heavily mixed communities) were thinking about what it would take for us to feel safe within spaces with a lot of cis men in them, because we want to be in those spaces, and so the access needs were different 

it set up an interesting new complication for me about what is needed in both of these contexts -- can an acronym like “FLINTA” (female, lesbian, intersex, non-binary, trans, agender) hold enough space? do these spaces need to consider more how non-binary people can look and be, and what forms of behaviours do they require from everyone that needs to be learned, etc. 

vs. what work do cis men need to do to make sure people/transmasc people feel safe (incl. spaces that are majority gay men), can a space majority made out of cis men create these foundations at this point in time, is there something transmasc people need to bring/learn about what that could entail, what does it mean for cis men to incorporate a trans philosophy into their masculinity, etc.

and how do trans women and transfemme and nb people have the ability to move fluidly between these spaces (a fair few gay sports spaces for men include trans women, who may prefer that to entering a “women and non-binary people” or FLINTA space, for all kinds of reasons), do we impose too many gendered limitations in order to try to create safer spaces? how do these affect all trans people?

and what a third version (heavily geared towards women, trans people, nb people, inclusive of cis men), fourth version (transmasc only), fifth version (lesbian-only, including trans men and trans women with ties to lesbianism, but not including straight women or cis men), sixth (queer of any stripes), seventh (a completely different main focus with some form of gendered component consciously included or not, ex. race, ethnicity, dis/ability, intersex identities, etc), potential eighth, ninth, etc. version of this might look like as well

and then finally, going back to that essay I linked above, what are our own limitations and assumptions and scar tissues doing to hinder our actual goals (gender liberation). are we approaching these questions intensely from our own experiences and has that made it difficult to be as open as we may need to be (yes, speaking for myself, but we’re trying!)

the TL;DR there is more between heaven and earth than an easy “this works better than that” and that is a feature and not a bug if we allow ourselves to look past ourselves without fear

#ramblerambleramble #queer stuff #trans stuff #transmasc stuff #a lot of this has to do with some research im doing into football/soccer inclusion #this is very surface-level but it's simply an acknowledgement of some questions #and also my continued poking at my own baby transmasculinity #(to be fair was there but i didnt acknowledge it because i needed to set myself at nothing first so i could explore on my own terms) #me

[desidarling123]

FACT CHECK: Did JKR sue people for writing Wolfstar fanfiction? [FALSE] [with sources]

So, if you're at all active in the HP fandom, and ESPECIALLY if you're on TikTok, you've likely come across a post or video claiming the following:

JKR LITERALLY SUED PEOPLE OVER WOLFSTAR FANFICTION! AND THAT'S ALSO WHY SHE MADE REMADORA CANON -- TO SPITE THE SHIPPERS!

I'm not sure who first started this claim or how its various permutations grew, but it spread at the speed of light across social media. This widely-circulated meme summarizes it:

For the LONGEST time, I didn't know what to make of it. The claims were vague enough that they seemed like they could be true -- after all, JKR is a megacunt and a renowned TERF. You don't need to fact-check either of those things.

But then -- for the first time ever -- I came across a video on TikTok claiming that what was being said was NOT true, and that it was being used SPECIFICALLY to stir up drama. Which was... crazy, to say least.

And that led me, well, to do my own research & fact-check. I've taken the original video's structure and added some exposition as well.

So here's the truth:

That 2003 case the above meme refers to? Not even REMOTELY what the situation was about. Hell, not even CLOSE.

In 2003, JKR sent a cease-and-desist letter to an explicit adult HP fan fiction website, called "Restricted Section". Here's the letter:

As the above letter states, the site was sent a notice because of overarching concerns that minors would accidentally stumble onto the sexually explicit content the site hosted after searching up 'Harry Potter'.

The hand-wringing over minor safety probably seems dated now, but it was, in fact, standard practice in the early 2000s - sexually explicit fan content was being removed across the internet for those exact concerns. In fact, just the year before, in 2002, fanfiction.net was purged of NC-17 content (which would happen one more time, in 2012).

I feel ridiculous stating it, but just to be clear -- in the above letter and all my subsequent research, there's NO evidence she went after Wolfstar -- or any ship, for that matter -- directly.

In fact, the letter goes an extra mile to declare that "our clients (JKR) make no complaint about innocent fan fiction written by genuine Harry Potter fans", but that, "there is plainly a very real risk that impressionable children... will be directed... to your sexually explicit website".

But that leads in nicely to the next point -- the website DIDN'T shut down, as per the letter's request. Instead, they added password protection to ensure only members older than 17 were accessing it.

OK, but why did JKR and Warner Bros go after this site in the first place? Most believe it was because of a widely-publicized article in THE SCOTSMAN that talked about the website. But, once again, this article doesn't go after Wolfstar in particular -- it only goes after Harry x Draco and Harry x Snape. The inclusion of latter was arguably what generated the biggest controversy -- the pairing of Harry, a fictional minor, with an adult character, in slash stories largely written by adult heterosexual women, was not one that could be cast in a good light to the general public. It's hardly a surprise JKR's lawyers sought to do something before the controversy got out of hand and worried parents started to make calls.

What I said before still goes, though. The legal core of the issue was ALWAYS to do NOT with the ships, but the EXPLICIT NATURE of the work -- and the (very real) concerns that the series' then-mostly-under-18 readership could find said works with very little as far as guardrails were concerned. (I know, because I was one of those kids)

TLDR; JKR did NOT sue people over Wolfstar fanfiction, she sent a cease-and-desist notice to a website that was not taking adequate precautions to prevent minors from accessing the explicit adult content on the site.

To be clear -- this is not meant to be a statement on what to ENJOY in your fandom ships. You can ship Wolfstar, Remadora, both, neither -- it really doesn't matter. I think the fandom is critical enough of the author to have reclaimed her work on our own terms, and people should be allowed to just, idk enjoy things.

But propagating straight-up falsehoods is dangerous, especially when it comes at the expense of 1) a safe fandom environment (see: the current fandom ship wars between Remadora and Wolfstar, which are difficult to watch) and 2) serves as a distraction from the ACTUAL garbage JKR engages in (of which there is plenty -- no need to make it up lol).

Also, truth be told -- inter-fandom ship wars don't generally add anything productive to the necessary conversations that need to be had about her works. The thought that dashing fan ships was a key motivator in her writing rather than, I don't know, plot concerns, is ludicrous on face, and gives fans a level of control over the original writer that just... doesn't exist IRL? And certainly didn't back then?

And again -- the books would have been VERY different series, plot-wise, if Sirius Black HAD lived. Him being in a relationship with Remus, confirmed or implied, has no relation to that decision.

If we have talk Harry Potter, I'd rather talk about just about anything else -- the racism, the misogyny, the lack of any sort of organic queer rep and JKR's inability to just own up to the problems in her works. But the minutiae of ship wars -- and the inevitable stream of disinformation that comes with it, sans any kind of concrete evidence -- is one I'd prefer to pass on.

SOURCES:

Cease-and-Desist Letter Copy: http://archive.is/HTLsq

THE SCOTSMAN Article: http://archive.is/VdEaY

Restricted Section Updates Page:

https://web.archive.org/web/20030815233612/http://www.restrictedsection.org/news.php

BONUS: The original TikTok video I came across whose structure and sources I shamelessly stole to read and build out my argument. I copied a lot of their wording because it explained it better than I could, you just get some bonus snarky commentary from yours truly

#wolfstar #remadora #atyd #all the young dudes #jk rowling #harry potter #fandom meta #fandom fact check

[lizzybeth1986]

(1/3) Hey, Playersexual Anon here. I really appreciate that you took the time to address my question. I'm a longtime player (4+ years), but I don't often interact w/the fandom; I don't have a Tumblr account. But I do sometimes browse to see Choices discourse and you're definitely right that many straight players say their favorite LIs aren't queer, I saw this a lot w/Ethan for example. So I understand your issues with the term now and how it's weaponized against queer, especially bi, players.

Sorry again for the delay in responding, anon! Loads of IRL stuff happening this side so wasn't able to write much or go on my blog. I'm glad you never engaged in the disagreeable behaviour that I've seen in other stans, and you seem to be observant enough that even while not interacting with fandom you were able to notice some of these things. You're right that the original sin here, really, is PB and the way they make a song and dance of their inclusiveness while engaging in writing that really doesn't do queer characters any favours.

My feelings about customizable characters...are a little bit more complicated. I agree that, the way PB uses them now, they're more band-aid for actual representation - they exist for PB to claim diversity, without having to ever do the work (I mean, this is work they hardly even do for default CoC!). So I can understand why it's popular to dislike customizable characters or paint them with a broad brush. But here too, I feel (and here I'm not talking about you - but more about the fandom so far) that many people miss how we got to this point, and fandom's role in how we see customizable characters treated.

When PB started using customizable characters (Liam was the first race customizable one, and Hayden was the first to be both race and gender customizable), while there was considerable excitement, fandom was also engaging constantly in what I call a "preference heirarchy". In books where there was a default white person, or a default CoC who was exoticizable, customizable characters faced impossible levels of scrutiny, or were constantly derided no matter what they did. They fared much better in three instances:

1. When there was more than one customizable character (particularly by race. Eg. MTFL, TRM)

2. When they were the only (optional) white character in a sea of CoCs (eg. Bloodbound)

3. When the character was a default race was black 😣 (look no further than Platinum!).

But when they were introduced, they were often not always the pet fave of the teams (who would lean towards the white/exoticizable brown male LI) and the fandoms would either write them off as "boring" without knowing much about them, or drag them down for every. single. thing. they. did. Liam, for instance, was constantly labelled a "cheater" for wanting to continue his relationship with the MC while trapped in an engagement his father had manipulated him into (with his fiancee's consent, mind you! AND he never even had a relationship with said fiancee!!) and fandom had a long, long history of shifting the goalposts with this character. I've lost count of the number of PM stans who falsely claimed Hayden had no variations after the first few chapters, who compared Hayden to a toaster, and who had a problem with Hayden's very justifiable outburst at the group in Book 2 Ch 6. These are just the two most visible examples.

If we're really going to talk about the present cookie-cutter nature of the current crop of customizable characters, or how shady it is that PB is using them as rep, maybe the fandom should take a long, hard look at how they treated them when they were in the same book as other white LIs, or LIs they could grossly objectify. They didn't identifiably act like CoCs even back then (and were in most cases still white coded) but the fandom didn't hesitate to treat them badly.

#ask lizzy #ask me #customizable characters #playchoices

[tipsycad147]

Why do people become Pagan? The top ten reasons

by Michelle Gruben

“Why are you Pagan?” If you were to ask this question of a dozen people, you would probably get a dozen different answers. For Christians (and others who believe in one true God) the revival of polytheism may be confounding. For others, it is hard to understand why a sensible modern person would seem to turn their back on science to worship the gods of old.

Before we get too far along, let's cover some background info. Paganism is defined broadly as non-Abrahamic religion that is Nature-based, polytheistic, or both. Wiccans, for instance, generally worship a creator Goddess and a God who is Her consort. The Wiccan cosmology does not acknowledge the existence of the Christian God (or the concepts of Satan and Hell).

Wicca is the best-known of modern Pagan religions, but there are many sub-groups and branches of Pagan belief and practice. Druidism, neo-Shamanism, Greek/Roman reconstructionism, and Norse Heathenry are just a few. There are also eclectic Pagans who combine elements from various traditions to make their own “flavor” of Paganism. While occult practices (e.g., divination and spellcasting) are common in Paganism, not all Pagans participate in these practices. Conversely, not everyone who is involved in the occult is a Pagan.

Most Pagans are polytheist, meaning they recognize the existence of more than one God. But there is more to Paganism than “the more, the merrier!” Here are some general traits of Pagan religions (keep in mind that not every religion will have them all): Rejection of Judeo-Christian cosmology, observance of seasonal rites, reverence toward Nature, rejection of religious authority and focus on individual experiences, paranormal/psychic beliefs and practices, emphasis on personal responsibility over sin or evil.

Not surprisingly, a preference for one or more of these traits is what attracts many people to Pagan religions—but we’ll get to that in a moment.

At the risk of stating the obvious, religion is a choice. If a person follows a Pagan religion, they are expressing a preference for Paganism over another religion, or no religion. Thinking about the reasons why people choose to become Pagan can lead to better understanding of Pagan friends and family. If you are Pagan, you may even learn something about yourself!

For the record, I’m Pagan in a mixed-religion household. This (totally unscientific) list is based on my own observations within the Pagan community. I’ve tried to present them in a way that’s inclusive and fair. Without further ado, here are some of the most common reasons why people choose to follow a Pagan religion:

1. They were raised Pagan.

Contemporary Pagan groups began forming in the 1930s, and achieved breakthrough status with the emergence of Wicca in the 1950s. Before that time, very few people in the West were raised Pagan. If you wanted to be initiated in a Pagan tradition, you had to seek one out—often at great expense to your personal or professional reputation.

Nowadays, that’s not the case. Neo-Paganism as a social/demographic phenomenon is in its third generation. It’s fairly common to find adults who were raised Pagan, or even whose parents were raised Pagan! It’s also possible to find those who were raised Pagan, but left Paganism. “Mom used to go out in the woods with her friends and do weird stuff—I never really got into it.”)

Some Pagan clergy will participate in the general blessing of infants and children, such as the ritual of “Wiccaning.” However, most Pagan paths do not have formal initiation for children. Pagans also overwhelmingly value religious choice. If someone continues their Pagan practice into adulthood, it is likely because they found something meaningful in it.

2. They want sexual acceptance and/or sexual freedom.

Of all the world religions, Paganism is arguably the most tolerant of the varied expression of human sexuality. Sex is considered a divine gift and a sacred rite. Lusty Gods and fertile Goddesses appear in all the major pantheons. (Along with gender-bending, raunchy stories, and other sexy fun.) For most Pagans, sex is just no big deal as long as it’s between consenting adults (or deities).

Pagan groups almost universally accept gay members, and some traditions even have queer or queer-leaning branches (Radical Faeries, Dianic Wicca). Pagan activists have been on the forefront of the struggle for equal rights. Compare that to the sluggish response of churches—even liberal churches—to embrace LGBTQ members and clergy, and you’ll understand why sexual minorities have been so attracted to Paganism. For people who are used to hearing their sexual desires called dirty, sinful, or shameful, the difference can be life-changing.

It’s not just queer folks who embrace Paganism as a safe­­ haven. Horny folks do, too. In most Pagan belief systems, sex is not considered a sin but a morally neutral act. Sex for fun is fun, sex for magick is magick. It’s not how much sex you’re having, but your intention that characterizes the act. The only moral imperative is in how you’re treating yourself and your partners.

Partners? Oh, yes! Polyamory, group sex, and (legal) exhibitionism are accepted within some Pagan communities. That’s an undeniable treat for people who want to enjoy these activities without religious shame.

3. They don’t care for dogma and/or authority.

There is no holy book, no central governing body, and no real priestly authority within the mass of related beliefs filed under Paganism. This is great news for people of a certain temperament—religious rebels and militant agnostics. (“I don’t know, and you don’t either!”)

As a social movement, neo-Paganism is deeply indebted to the Transcendentalist writers of the 19th century. Their poems and essays held the germ of the idea that fuels Pagan practice: That God speaks directly to everyone—often through Nature—and not only to a specially qualified few, inside special buildings.

Some Pagan groups do have ordained clergy. But there are still significant differences between Pagan clergy and those of more established organized religions:

First, Pagan titles like “High Priestess” are usually self-conferred or passed along from student to teacher. This does not mean that they’re not “real” clergy, but it does mean that their power is limited outside their own group or coven. (A Pagan leader may also be ordained as a minister by another organization, such as the Church of All Worlds or the Unitarian Universalist church. This allows them to receive certain legal privileges that independent Pagan clergy usually do not enjoy.)

Secondly, Pagan clergy tend to function more as community leaders than authority figures. Pagan priesthood does not confer any real power over others, either temporal or spiritual. Most Pagan leaders encourage discussion and self-study by their students and congregants. Certainly a dedicated Priest or Priestess will have more experience working with their deities than a beginner. They may have the skills to do rituals or advanced deity work that a novice does not. In a sense, though, every Pagan is their own Priest or Priestess—and the best Pagan clergy respect that. This makes Paganism very attractive to those who don’t want to experience God(s) secondhand.

4. They long for a connection to Nature.

The earth, the trees, the sky, the sea—most world religions recognize these wonders as the work of a mighty creator God. And yet, most leave it at that.

Not so with Paganism. Pagan religions are sometimes described as “Earth-based”—meaning the Earth and its cycles are central to what Pagans hold sacred. Most Pagans profess a deep reverence for natural places, the seasons, the web of plants and animals, and the processes of birth, aging, and dying. While it’s not technically required, many Pagan services are held outdoors. “Skyclad” (nude) rites are another way that Pagans shed the trappings of modern society and get back to the core of being.

Some people come to Paganism as an extension of their environmentalist or eco-feminist views. Others simply want to reconnect with Nature as an antidote to the alienation that comes with busy, digitized lives.

5. They’ve had negative experiences with other religions.

It’s a sad but undeniable fact. People who turn toward one religion are often, with the same movement, turning away from a religion that has hurt them. If you spend enough time in Pagan communities, you will certainly meet some of these displaced folks.

Perhaps a certain religious doctrine—such as the prohibition against homosexuality—is causing the person emotional pain. Maybe they’re frustrated with persecution, corruption, or hypocrisy within the religious group they came from. Or maybe they’re rebelling against the religious beliefs of a parent or spouse. Whatever the case, Paganism appears to offer a chance for a fresh start, one with less restriction and oversight than they may be used to. Pagans don’t evangelize—which may make them seem more trustworthy to folks who have been burned.

As with all life choices, there are right and wrong reasons to become a Pagan. And you can’t ever really know someone else’s motives. The best thing that Pagans can do is treat religious refugees kindly, answer their questions honestly, and wait for them to figure out if Paganism is right for them.

6. They have trouble with the concepts of sin and evil.

Of all the barriers between Pagan beliefs and Abrahamic religion, the idea of sin is the thorniest. Original sin is a tough doctrine to swallow, even for many Christians. Who wants to suffer for something that happened before they were born? That Paganism has no equivalent concept to sin and sinfulness is one of its biggest selling points, so to speak. (Pagan beliefs about the origin/existence of evil are so diverse I won’t even try to tackle the topic here.)

As mentioned earlier, there’s no single Pagan concept of God. Still, one idea you see over and over in Paganism is the doctrine of non-dual immanence. God/Goddess existing here and now, and not in some distant place or kingdom to come. Lack of meditation or participation or acceptance can distance us from the sacred, but God/Goddess is always there. Furthermore, divinity is present within the material world, and the world is inseparable from its creator.

All of this is pretty difficult to reconcile with Judeo-Christian ideas about original sin and the fall of man. (Some Hermetic Pagans do accept them as metaphorical/alchemical truths—but that’s a whole other beaker of worms.) In Biblical cosmology, the world is created by God, but separate from God. The world we know is basically fallen and can only be redeemed through God’s intervention. In Paganism, the world we know is basically holy and does not require redemption. (Only observation and celebration, if we want to be happy and—perhaps—please the Gods.) The other worlds are holy, too—not more, nor less.

As for behavior? Paganism emphasizes individual freedom and responsibility over moral absolutism. Most Pagans live by an individual moral/ethical code, but shun universal behavioral codes. Pagan ethics have been heavily influenced by the Wiccan Rede: “An it harm none, do what ye will.” This in turn derives from Aleister Crowley’s “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law”—possibly the most mis-interpreted eleven words of all time.

It’s not that Pagans believe that you can or should do whatever you want. On the contrary, Paganism teaches that actions (and even thoughts) reverberate through the universe to affect oneself and others. There’s no real concept of sin, but Paganism is not amoral. In encouraging moral behavior, Paganism substitutes concepts like karma, duty, interconnectedness, for a paternal god figure keeping score.

7. They yearn for representations of the Divine Feminine.

Dion Fortune wrote “A religion without a Goddess is halfway to atheism.” Women’s bodies are the carriers of life. And yet, many world religions downplay or denigrate the contribution of women. In Abrahamic religions, women can be vessels and saints, but are rarely prophets and never God. Many people yearn for distant time—real or imagined—when women’s bodies could also be a representation of deity.

As a social phenomenon, the rise of Wicca and Goddess spirituality has coincided pretty neatly with the expansion of women’s rights. As long as women are to be regarded as equal to men in society, there are those who feel that patriarchal religions can never be wholly legitimate.

Everyone has an earthly mother and a father. If you believe in God, it makes a kind of intuitive sense that everyone has a divine Mother and Father, too. Yet religions that include a Goddess are usually labeled polytheist and Pagan automatically.

8. They want explanations for psychic and paranormal events.

Out-of-body experiences, premonitions, telepathy, ghost encounters—weird stuff sometimes happens. If you haven’t had an inexplicable experience, then you likely know someone who has. Pagans aren’t alone in experiencing the paranormal, of course. But they tend to be better equipped to talk about it than the average person.

Imagine a person who has recurring paranormal experiences, or experiences they believe to be paranormal. Mainstream science tells them that these experiences are illusory. Mainstream religion—when it’s not condemning them as evil—seems mostly too embarrassed to talk about occult happenings. It’s no surprise that the person would be drawn to a Pagan community where psychic stuff is openly discussed, accepted, and even encouraged.

Don’t get me wrong—mental illness and paranormal delusions do occur, and can cause great harm. But the not-crazy among us still yearn for a safe haven to discuss our psychic lives without condemnation. I believe—though I can’t prove—that so-called paranormal experiences are actually quite common among the general population. I’ve also observed that persistent psychic curiosity is one of the major reasons that people turn to Paganism.

9. They’re attracted to the power and control offered by magick.

I once read an academic paper that was trying to explain the rise of Wicca and witchcraft among teenage girls. The conclusion was that when a young women lacks a sense of control in her life—i.e., economic, sexual, or social autonomy—a religion that offers a secret source of power is immensely attractive. (Who wouldn’t want to be able to cast a love spell on a crush, or curse a bully?) The author observed that many teen girls become practicing Pagans in junior high and high school. They tend to lose interest after finding another source of personal power (a job, a relationship, a better group of friends).

As a young Pagan woman, I found the tone of this particular paper to be condescending, bordering on insulting. But one thing is obviously true: Occultism purports to offer power to the powerless, esoteric means to an end when exoteric means have come up short. Why else would there be so many people interested in fast answers—love spells, get-rich-quick spells, and the like?

Lots of people approach witchcraft and/or Paganism because they want to learn to use magick. They see it as a way to fix their lives in a hurry or achieve undeserved success. Many of them move along when they realize that real magick is real work.

10. They’ve been called by a God or Goddess.

A burning bush, a deathbed vision of Christ, a miracle from the Virgin Mary—these are the types of religious experiences that are familiar to most people. But Pagans have religious epiphanies, too. Although most of us don’t talk about it outside of trusted circles, our Gods and Goddesses call to us in dramatic and in subtle ways.

Like any other type of religious conversion, some people drift gradually toward an acceptance of Paganism, while others are thrust toward it by a single epiphany. Some people may scoff at the idea of elder Gods asserting their presence in the 21st century. But it's certainly no wackier than what other religious people believe. (And it's hard to be so cavalier when Odin’s keeping you awake at night with a to-do list.)

For most Pagans, one or more of the above reasons has contributed to their finding their religious path. There are certainly other reasons that aren’t on this list. Of course, the best way to find out why a particular person is Pagan is to (respectfully) ask!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/why-do-people-become-pagan-top-ten-reasons

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

#if u have follow up questions ill probably answer them 2morrow #if u ask something just be nice its my birthday 🙄🙄 #anyways time to tag this lol ! #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #q slur #long post #my post #ask to tag maybe??

[jellyfax]

Bi Lesbianism, Lesbophobia, and the Hazards of Rejecting Countless (Trans, Nonbinary, and Cis) Lesbian Voices

At this point, it's very noticeable that most people who support and promote the "bi/pan lesbian" label aren't lesbians. I'm not talking about the people who claim the label. Self-proclaimed "bi/pan lesbians" can be lesbians, bi, pan, sapphic, queer, wlw, nblw, or so on but who ultimately are suffering from internalized hatred with some externalized bigotry in the mix too.

No, my focus is on how there are A LOT of people who aren't (trans, nonbinary, or cis) lesbians who like 1) the idea of lesbianism including attraction to (trans and cis) men and/or 2) the idea that all nonbinary people can be included in lesbian attraction by way of bi lesbianism. Even some cis men, trans men, and man-aligned nonbinary people have stepped in to agree that lesbianism should be defined more broadly to include attraction to the-, I mean, men.* While LGBTQ+ people, especially sapphic people, have been negatively impacted by the many definitions and defenses of bi lesbianism, lesbians by far have been the most affected.

After having observed this phenomenon for a while, I have seen that there are very few lesbians who are backing the "bi/pan lesbian" label and that detail is very noteworthy. For the few lesbians who do support the offensive label, they tend to gradually stop identifying as lesbians. Such “former” lesbians usually begin identifying as homosexual lesbians, gay lesbians, queer lesbians, sapphic, or even bi lesbians. The truth is “bi lesbianism” really doesn’t have space for just plain ol’ lesbians. Lesbianism in pro-bi/pan lesbian spaces is very often unfavorably viewed as an orientation that is predisposed to exclusionary, discriminatory beliefs and is at best tolerated or at worst maligned. Most trans lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, and cis lesbians have been very vocal about how invalidated and uncomfortable they feel about the label and the troubling trends its proponents perpetuate. Many, many, many lesbians have expressed outrage over the following though not limited to:

The assertion that all nonbinary people are excluded from lesbianism and that "bi lesbianism" will rectify that exclusion, so "bi lesbianism" indicates attraction to all nonbinary people. Note: Some nonbinary people are comfortable being a part of lesbianism and lesbian attraction, but some aren't comfortable with being associated with lesbianism. Lesbianism doesn't need to be augmented in a misguided, preemptive attempt to include those nonbinary people who feel their gender is invalidated by lesbianism. Nonbinary people aren't a monolithic, third gender, so individual nonbinary people can address how they feel in relation to lesbianism. This also has the ill effect of distancing nonbinary lesbians and nonbinary sapphic people from lesbianism. 

The belief that over 20 - 60+ years of homosexual, lesbian, and bisexual self-advocacy and activism is negligible and the definition of lesbianism should generally regress to how it was pre - 1960s.

The claim that lesbianism should include attraction to trans men, nonbinary men, and cis men to be considered a less restrictive, more inclusive orientation.

The insistence that trans lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, and cis lesbians are purposefully choosing to reject men and are akin to political lesbians.

The proclamation that lesbianism can be used as a kind of modifier to indicate a preference or split-attraction** for women and woman-aligned people.

The persistence that the word "lesbian" is just a word that carries no substantial meaning like a strong sense of identity and community.

Yet, that discomfort and justifiable anger towards blatant lesbophobia, transphobia, biphobia/panphobia has been largely ignored at best or attacked at worst by proponents of the label.

One thing supporters of the label tend to do most of all is severely understate the specific oppression faced by lesbians for our unattraction to (cis and trans) men AND our attraction to women. We all live in a world where intimate partnerships between men and women are the norm and womanhood is heavily defined by attraction to manhood, lesbians are sidelined and punished by most of society for not being able to meet those conventions. All too often supporters of bi lesbianism, who are typically not lesbians, revel in ignoring and downplaying that oppression lesbians overwhelmingly face. Contrary to what bi lesbian supporters believe, lesbians aren’t bi women with a preference for women who are just denying our sliver of secret attraction to men to try to fit some lesbian purity standard. No, these people, most of whom aren’t lesbians, just refuse to believe that some sapphic women and nonbinary people simply aren’t attracted to men and man-aligned people. They lack perspective and are lesbophobic just like any other bigot who pushes the idea that (trans, nonbinary, and cis) lesbians’ attraction should make room for (trans and cis) men.

I get the impression that at least for the sapphic people who push for this label's acceptance and validation, they think that confirmation will somehow fix all the intracommunal discrimination within the sapphic/wlw community. However, the label only serves to further agitate preexisting tensions and cause more harm. It's the metaphorical equivalent of using a small, dirty band-aid to treat a gaping, festering wound, and rubbing salt in the injury just for good measure. Transmisogyny, transphobia, biphobia/panphobia, aphobia, and so on in the sapphic community will not be confronted or eradicated by redefining lesbianism like this. Lesbianism simply existing as it is isn’t the root cause for these problems and to say otherwise is to affirm lesbophobia along with the very discriminatory beliefs that were trying to be denounced in the first place. Directly scapegoating lesbianism and by extension lesbians in this way has also negatively impacted all other sapphic people. For instance, trans and cis bi women and nonbinary sapphic bi people have all spoken out about how this fiasco has poorly affected them too. Hopefully, supporters of the label will see the damage all this has caused in due time, but I doubt it. Once you've decided to mistrust and dismiss a marginalized group of people, in this case lesbians, there's very little chance of change.

While most supporters of the "bi/pan lesbian" label aren't lesbians, with a discernable portion not even being sapphic/wlw, there also aren't very many of them. For every zealous promoter of the label there are likely hundreds more who won't stand for their misinformation, ignorance, and downright bigoted rhetoric and will respect the voices of (trans, nonbinary, and cis) lesbians hurt by such attitudes.

In conclusion, listen to (trans, nonbinary, and cis) lesbians. We know WAY more about our own identity than anyone else. If most of us lesbians feel that the “bi/pan lesbian” label is offensive, bigoted, and regressive, maybe people who aren’t lesbians should take note.

*Non-sapphic and man-aligned people, especially cis men and trans men, really have no business being a part of this issue.

**As an aroace-spec lesbian, I don't approve of or recommend that non ace-spec/aro-spec people use the split-attraction model. Though, funnily enough, most "bi lesbians" don't tend to use SAM to describe their orientation and its only cited ad nauseam in the discourse by clueless supporters of the label. Edit 7/27/2020: Use of SAM among non ace-spec/aro-spec people typically masks internalized issues like homophobia or biphobia. SAM is primarily used by and better serves ace-spec/aro-spec people.

#bi lesbian discourse #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #mspec lesbian #ply lesbian #omni lesbian #split attraction model #lesbian discourse #lesbophobia #transphobia #biphobia

[killingevedaily]

Hello, I really love your blog, keep up the fab work! :) I wanted to get your take on a point I have often thought about when watching KE: the importance of bisexual representation. I don't really agree with labeling everything, but I have always thought of the two leads as bisexual characters. Do you think it is important that the show/fandom acknowledges this more? It is rare for these relationships to be given such profile. Do you see their relationship as ending up exclusive or open?

Hello, and thank you! :)

I think Eve is clearly bisexual, with Villanelle being her bi awakening. She seems to be genuinely attracted to more than one gender.

In s1 I thought V was bi too, likely with a preference for women. Now in it’s third season I think she is a lesbian. Her sexual/romantic encounters with men do not seem to give her any real satisfaction.

In all fandoms,and in life, bi-erasure is far too common. I’ve seen it a few times in the tags this week -using ‘lesbians’ plural - it’s frustrating and I think we can do better and be more aware of the inclusiveness of the words we choose to describe them.

As for where I see their relationship going, I’m not sure, I think for now they are solely focused on each other and I don’t think anyone would be wise to get in their way.

Another anon: what do you think about the show's representation of a gay/queer/bisexual couple? do you think it is a positive representation? i like the idea that there are two strong, realistic (kinda - more E than V) portrayals of bisexual (?) women.

I love that the show is about two strong queer women whose sexuality is never mocked or used as a punchline. And while I think the show is technically ‘positive representation’ because of that it is still a show about an assassin and the agent obsessed with finding her so it’s not by any means a healthy relationship.

#killing eve #s3 #fandom thoghts #answered

[thetypedwriter]

Only Mostly Devastated Book Review

Only Mostly Devastated Book Review by Sophie Gonzales

You know those feel good movies that are short and sweet and fun while you’re watching it, but mostly forgettable? You all know what I’m talking about. It’s the experience of something that is fine, enjoyable even, but largely unnoticed on the grand scheme of things?

Only Mostly Devastated is like that. 

Now, before the fangirls attack, let me just say that what I commented above is not an inherent criticism. Not every novel that I read, or people want to read, has to be a masterful prose full of epistemological queries and agonizing philosophies on life.

 Sometimes you want something sweet and fluffy, like cotton candy, to fill in the times when your brain needs a break. A good book does not necessarily equate to a challenging book, although English teachers in school will have you believe otherwise. 

Sometimes books can just be fun. 

Only Mostly Devastated tells the queer book version of Grease, down to allusions making its way even on the front cover. The plot is basic in its storytelling. The main character, Oliver, is staying in North Carolina for the summer with his parents as they help out his aunt while she receives treatment for cancer. During the summer, Oliver has a not-so-summer-fling with a boy named Will that both think will end when Oliver moves back to California at the end of the season. 

But lo and behold! Oliver’s parents decide to stay in North Carolina for a year to help out, forcing Oliver to spend his last year of high school far away from home and unbeknownst to him, attend the same high school as his beloved Will from the summer. 

However, predictably, Will from summer and Will the basketball player that Oliver meets in high school, seem to be two different people, with Oliver trying to reconcile why the boy he loves is pretending like he doesn’t exist. 

This book...isn’t original. In any way, shape, or form. From the plot, the characters, the dialogue, and even the writing, nothing about this stands out too much to me. 

Again, this does not make it a bad read, sometimes you want light and easy and predictable, but it does make it a forgettable one. 

The plot is fine. It’s sturdy, it works for what Gonzales is trying to achieve, which is mainly the love story between Will and Oliver. She does try to throw some other things in there, like putting a side character who is struggling with being bisexual, another side character with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), some light stuff on body image, other airy commentary on fetishizing people’s sexualization, and of course, the death and loss of a loved one and the grieving process that goes with it. 

Now, you might be saying, wow, thetypedwriter, what are you thinking? That is so much stuff that she put into her book! Incredible! How can you call it shallow and predictable?

Well, for one, the book is short. While again, nice for those readers who want something light to carry on their way to tan by the pool, great, but for those readers who want something more, this can be frustrating. 

For an in-depth reading experience for any of those themes above, hitting the tip of the iceberg would be putting it lightly. The book skims the surface of those topics, but they aren’t delved into in any semblance of sophistication or depth that would actually make this a more memorable read. 

Reason two, Sophie Gonzales does come across quite preachy sometimes. 

Now, this can be tricky so let me explain. Putting forth your agenda or your beliefs and values in a book is not an erroneous thing to do. Actually, it’s an amazing thing to do and people have been using books as a form of expression for these types of things for centuries. Some may argue that the intrinsic value of a book is to express such opinions. 

However, this is not Sophie Gonzales’ biography, nor is it an opinion article about how she feels about the fetishization of girls kissing girls for male entertainment. When you are going to put your opinions and beliefs into your book, it needs to make sense in the scheme of the characters. 

For example, if J.K. Rowling randomly had Ron go on a speech about women’s rights and toxic masculinity, it would be out-of-character and baffling since Ron would not be the character to say such a thing. 

However, if Hermione were to give such a speech, the ideas and beliefs would be passed along, message received, but without breaking character or pulling me out of the universe to think what the hell because a sermon came out of left field that held no continuity in the scheme of the novel as a whole. 

This happened to me quite a lot in Only Mostly Devastated. It was like Sohpie Gonzales got to a certain point, told her characters to step aside, and then got on her soapbox to preach about love and acceptance. 

Once again, I’m not against any of the messages she’s portraying at all. 

What I think lacked finesse, however, was the way in which she got those messages across, which was often out-of-character and forced the plot to go certain places just so she could get the chance to talk about those issues. 

With that out of the way, other slight criticisms I have mainly are to be found with the characters and the writing itself. 

The characters were all likable enough. I’m not about to go write fanfiction about any of them though. They were largely generic, although entertaining enough for what this book is offering. They were also all pretty forgettable and formed pretty forgettable relationships as well. 

Do I really remember any of Will’s friends? Nope. What about Oliver’s girl squad? Kind of? I did appreciate the attempt at including more characters of color, including Will.

I do think that Lara was the most interesting character. I honestly would have preferred to have had a whole novel about her rather than told from Oliver’s point-of-view, simply as Oliver is basic as all hell (white boy that plays guitar and is slightly awkward. I’ve only seen this character about 10 million thousand times before).

 And if Gonzales had written this novel about Lara instead, all of her themes would have worked infinitely better. You still get the struggle with sexuality, you still get the side POC characters with PCOS and body image issues, and you could still have the plot of loss and death if you wanted to. 

The friendship with the girls would make so much more sense, the fetishization topic could have been delved into way more thoroughly, and Lara was kind of a bitch, and I appreciated that about her. You would even still get a musical person in the form of Juliette even without Oliver on the scene. 

But, nope. We get Oliver. Which is...fine. Mediocre, but fine, I guess. 

Lastly, Gonzales is a perfectly average writer. The story flowed, it was funny, it had its moments of nuance and sarcasm, but there were moments where she would make comparisons, always with similes or metaphors, that left me literally confounded because of how bizarre and out-of-place I found them. 

Some examples:

1. “Up close, she smelled like sugary flowers.” 

-I’m sorry, but what do sugary flowers smell like? Why are the flowers sugary? Who would even sugar their flowers in the first place?

2. “Deep inside my chest, my heart was beating as though it was trying to tear free from bondage.”

-Just...an extremely odd choice of words. Why bondage, Sophie Gonzales, why?

3. “I’d rather floss with barbed wire, than watch a live sports match…”

-Ummm eww and scary?

I could go on and on with the frankly awful choices for comparison that are made in this book with incessant use, but I think you get the point. The similes and metaphors were downright baffling. Not really sure what Gonzales was going for with them, but...no. Just no. 

Lastly, Oliver’s nickname Ollie-oop made me want to curl up and die. It didn’t make them seem like better friends. In fact, the whole rose gold-girl-group and Oliver was such a dumpster fire of a friendship that lacked any and all actual solid foundations for a relationship that it annoyed me, especially in the end when Oliver decides to stay in North Carolina to be with people he’s not even close to. 

Additionally, the inclusion of Oliver’s two friends from back home was just...pointless, utterly pointless. I don’t even know why she bothered to write them into the story honestly. They added nothing. 

Again, her themes are good in nature and provocative in theory, but the book was just too short and shallow to justify writing in any of it when really all she cared about was Will and Oliver sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. It was almost like fanfiction, but published. Actually, nope, I think fanfiction is better. 

Wow, I guess I had more feelings about this book than I thought, mostly negative too. 

Once more, I want to heavily emphasize that I DIDN’T HATE IT. It was a super, light, super cute, very simple book that I’m sure a ton of people will appreciate right now with everything heavy going on in the world.

 If you need a book in cloud form, this is your novel. But....if you wanted something more like me, if you found it just a little too simplistic in nature, just a little too forgettable, then that’s okay too. 

Recommendation: If you’re too burdened down by carrying your sunscreen and your cooler out to the pool, this is the perfect light summer reading to tuck under one arm and melt your worries away for a little while. If you want an actually good, actually complex and refined LGBTQ+ coming of age novel then I’d definitely go for the likes of Red, White, and Royal Blue or Autoboyagraphy instead. 

Score: 5/10 

#only mostly devastated #sophie gonzales #ya fiction #YA Books #YA literature #LGBTQ fiction #book blog #books #book review #Book Recommendations

[aroworlds]

The Vampire Conundrum, Part Two

When Rowan Ross is pressured into placing an aromantic pride mug on his desk, he doesn't know how to react when his co-workers don't notice it. Don't they realise he spent a weekend rehearsing answers for questions unasked? Then again, if nobody knows what aromanticism is, can't he display a growing collection of pride merch without a repeat of his coming out as trans? Be visible with impunity through their ignorance?

He can endure their thinking him a fan of archery, comic-book superheroes and glittery vampire movies. It's not like anyone in the office is an archer. (Are they?) But when a patch on his bag results in a massive misconception, correcting it means doing the one thing he most fears: making a scene.

After all, his name isn't Aro.

Contains: One trans, bisexual frayromantic alongside an office of well-meaning cis co-workers who think they're being supportive and inclusive.

Content Advisory: This story hinges on the way most cishet alloromantic people know nothing about aromanticism and the ways many trans-accepting cis people fail to best communicate their acceptance. In other words, expect a series of queer, trans and aro microaggressions. There are no depictions or mentions of sexual attraction beyond the words "allosexual" and "bisexual", but there are non-detailed references to Rowan's previous experiences with romance.

Length: 3, 737 words (part two of two).

Note: Posted for @aggressivelyarospec‘s AggressivelyArospectacular 2019.

Romance, too, feels like one of the mechanisms by which a dangerous trans body can be rendered more acceptable to cis folks.

“His name’s Aro,” Melanie says after lunch, showing a new volunteer around the office. She pats Rowan on the shoulder as she walks behind his chair, startling him enough that the clipping path he’s making around a photo of Damien’s head goes veering off to the side. “He does our website, our flyers and the information guides we send out. Aro like from the Twilight movies!”

Introductions once only encompassed Melanie’s habit of overly-stressing pronouns when referencing him—a dysphoria-triggering reminder that she doesn’t think him masculine enough for people to assume it. Isn’t that bad enough without her also getting his name wrong?

He sighs, frustrated. Complaining about this, when trans people are in desperate want of a working environment free of outright antagonism and discrimination, feels unreasonable. Hell, Rowan knows aromantics who’ll revel in being named “Aro”, so isn’t his hurt just pettiness? Isn’t this why he’s no longer welcome at home, a man too intolerant of his family’s mistakes? How many times did they tell him that his harping on about little things demonstrates a concerning lack of gratitude for their acceptance?

His co-workers do seem to believe in Rowan’s masculinity; he shouldn’t take that for granted.

Instead, he feels like he’s failing at being both transgender and aromantic.

After a fair amount of editing, he places Damien’s image in the brochure mock-up and exports to PDF. The office will make suggestions, some useful, some ignorant and some so absurd that Rowan will laugh with his friends later on, but that’s fine. He can’t expect otherwise in a workplace where everyone considers him possessed of unknowable ability with computers. They’re good people, in the main, and they care about their work.

It’s just complicated, and Rowan hates the feeling that complicated is the best cis people will let him get to a normalised acceptance.

“Aro? An Arrow fan called Aro? Really? Do you like comics or are you one of those people only into DC TV?”

Rowan looks up from attaching his PDF to an email to find the volunteer sitting on a creaking office chair and crab-walking it over to Rowan’s desk. “Comics?”

“Oh, good.” The volunteer sighs as if in relief. “I mean, the TV show? It isn’t terrible—better than most of DC’s movies, at least—but I’m so tired of people who call themselves fans but have never touched a comic book.”

Rowan glances at his journal cover, ponders its possible similarity to the show’s motif and nearly bursts out laughing. He’s never read a comic and doesn’t plan on doing so. He prefers indie podcasts and audiobooks on account of increased representation and greater ability to sew and cook while listening. “I’m not an Arrow fan. Sorry.”

Another show about cis people possessed of everyone-should-pair-up amatonormativity?

Hard pass.

“You’re not?” The volunteer gapes, waving his hand towards Rowan’s cluster of pride mugs. Three, now. Only one contains coffee, which feels like a terrible oversight. “Is this a joke, then? Are they getting you arrow stuff because of your name? Like some office thing?”

Aro.

His name is not Aro.

Rowan once thought the concept of snapping a mere storytelling device, something as ludicrous or impossible as “glittering eyes” or “romantic interest that lasts after getting to know someone”. At best an experience had by people without a brain that doesn’t devote most of its time to screaming alerts at the prospect of anything dangerous. Absurd, irrational, void of any real-life relevance.

Not even with his family has he felt this chilling, all-encompassing moment of enough.

He looks back at his computer, attaches a second PDF file to his email and, before he considers pesky things like consequences, clicks send. Then Rowan climbs up on his office chair, steps up onto the desk and whistles like a country boy who owned a border collie prone to sneaking off the property and rounding up the neighbour’s sheep.

Everyone in the office gapes up at him with a motley assortment of parted lips, unblinking eyes and, in Melanie’s case, the pointing of a long, vermillion-polished fingernail.

Up high, the room reeks of nesting rodents and the popcorn ceiling desperately wants refinishing.

Now Rowan’s brain tells his limbs to shake and his chest to heave; of course, he thinks as he shoves his hands behind his back, anxiety kicks in after he’s neck-deep in it! “My … my name is Rowan. I chose it.” He looks at the vent on the opposite wall, fighting to sound collected. Is that black mould? “Dad told me if I rejected my deadname, I was rejecting them. That I was being cruel and selfish. I earnt my name!” He stops, gasping for breath like a hooked fish—which, given his terror, feels far too appropriate a simile. “My identity is aro, short for aromantic, like being queer—one way of my being queer. So ... there’s a PDF booklet in your inbox about aromanticism. Read it! I’m proud of being aro, but you need to call me by the name I chose! It’s Rowan!”

He jumps down off the desk. The creaking laminate and the thud of his dress shoes, a little too large for Rowan’s feet, sound abominably loud in the sepulchrally-quiet room. Heading past giddy into faint, but pushed on by a heedlessness of the “this can’t possibly get worse because I’m going to be fired” variety, Rowan snatches up his satchel and reaches into the side pocket to pull out his handful of print leaflets. He drops one in the lap of the gaping volunteer, tosses the rest on an empty desk for luddites who prefer paper, and returns to his chair.

Seven sets of speechless eyes bore holes through his skull, shoulders and spine.

Rowan jams on his headphones, opens his no-romance metal playlist and turns his music up to a volume just short of deafening before queuing new posts to the project’s website.

When he invented the God of Trans Men as flippant rhetoric to cope with Melanie’s questions, is it right to pray to him?

***

Two hours later, doing his best to radiate an aura of do not disturb on pain of your bloody death, Rowan fights to pay attention to the last event write-up. Leaving early means asking permission and walking down the row of desks, risking stares and comments; he instead corrects Melanie’s idiosyncratic punctuation. Didn’t Melanie go to school at a time when they taught more than English comprehension? How doesn’t she know when not to use an apostrophe?

There’ll be consequences. Warnings? A formal discussion in the private office the supervisors only use for interviews? A request that he undergo counselling? A strong recommendation for psychiatric assessment? Firing? It isn’t like they can’t throw a rock and hit thousands of people under the age of forty with general computer skills and design ability who aren’t prone to standing on desks to make unwanted announcements.

No. Focus on the damn comma splices.

Should he ask his psychiatrist for the soonest possible appointment? New meds?

A tap on the shoulder makes Rowan’s head threaten to brush the probably-asbestos-riddled ceiling; he gasps and yanks off his headphones, trembling.

Melanie stands beside his chair, holding out her phone in its glossy pink case. “Those words that are underlined? Can I click on them to find out what they mean, like on a website? Like ... al-lo-sexual?”

“Hyperlinks in an interactive PDF—the file on your phone—work the same way as on a website,” Rowan says without thinking: in the last three months, he’s been asked this ten times. “If you click on those links, they’ll take you to a glossary at the end of the document with definitions.”

Damien sits facing his usual computer, his head tilted as if watching out the corner of his eye.

Melanie smiles the expression of a woman in an alternate dimension where Rowan doesn’t engage in embarrassing outbursts. “You’re so good at all this stuff, Rowan.” She stresses his name just enough that he can pretend she didn’t. “Where did you learn it all?”

He once tried to explain his philosophy of clicking on things only to realise that while the concept of generational divides requires excessive generalisation, a difference exists in terms of his willingness to fearless experimentation with electronic devices and programs. “School. Uni.”

“You’re so lucky. School was nothing like that when I was a girl. You have so many more opportunities now. And identities.” Melanie sighs and pushes a wisp of grey hair back from her eyebrows. “It’s good, it really is.”

Rowan blinks, startled into silence by a rare glimpse of validation stripped of performance and demonstration.

He hadn’t thought anyone here capable of it.

“It says that some people feel repulsed by romance? Are you like that? Should we do something? Do we need to not talk about romance in the office? Like, if I describe my daughter dating her boyfriend, not that I want to, is that bad? Do we need to hold a meeting? Damien—Damien—”

Damien turns, wearing the blinded look of a rabbit frozen in a spotlight. “Yes...?”

For how long has Damien worked with Melanie? For how long has the office rolled with Melanie’s interruptions and proclamations, her meetings called about the slightest of issues? For how long has the office accepted Shelby’s incessant reminding and Damien’s inability to surrender event photography to someone who knows how to modify their flash settings? Isn’t there a chance that they’ll tolerate Rowan’s occasional moments of desk-blathering?

A trans aro should be able to sew a patch on his bag reading “aro” without provoking cis weirdness. Since when does someone read a new word on his bag and assume that’s now his name? Isn’t that another over-the-top demonstration made by awkward cis people trying to prove their acceptance, something that’s never made Rowan feel safe?

Even when he’s aromantic, he never gets to avoid cissexism.

He slides his hands between the seat and his legs, aware of Melanie’s once again drawing the office’s unbroken attention. “I, personally, don’t care if people talk about their romances,” he says, certain that Damien needn’t answer Melanie about meetings, “but I do care when people assume I must want one. I do care when Sh … some of you just keep asking if I’m dating anyone.”

Rowan long set aside the need to bother with romance. He isn’t aromantic in the way most people first think of the word, as he does fall in love, but it describes his frayromanticism nonetheless. Why put himself through the inevitable messy, angry break-up when his partners don’t understand why what started as romance ends up to him as a friendship? When dating isn’t without trans-related challenges, why force himself into a type of relationship that he knows won’t last?

Romance, too, feels like one of the mechanisms by which a dangerous trans body can be rendered more acceptable to cis folks, in the same way it sanitises his equally-threatening bisexuality. If queers are holding hands and exchanging rings, just like cis and heterosexual couples, they’re safe.

He wants to be normal, but not that normal.

Melanie surprises him again by nodding. Opaque red only colours the corners of her lips; the worn centres reveal the brownish-pink beneath. “Like how we now don’t assume everyone’s—what’s the fancy word you use for not being you?”

“Cis. Yeah.”

“At my first job, I never dared yeah my elders. Can I ask what’s this a-sexual thing? Not-sexual? That’s a thing that can go with your a-ro-manti-cism? Am I saying it right? Is that something people can be?” Melanie grabs the volunteer’s vacated chair and wheels herself up to Rowan’s desk. “Tell me about this. Please.”

Damien gives a theatrically deep sigh, winks at Rowan and turns back to his keyboard.

Rowan’s tangle of feelings bewilders him too much to be simple relief, but he doesn’t appear to be at immediate risk of losing his job.

***

“We need to have a meeting!” Melanie announces ten days later, striding up to where Damien peers over Rowan’s shoulder to approve the touch-ups on a series of scanned photos. Rowan grasps the want to have a section on the website showcasing past events, but surely Damien’s film-camera predecessors weren’t all unable to take decent pictures? “Today. Perhaps before lunch?”

“Do we?” Damien doesn’t bother to turn his head. “What’s the number on the urgency scale, remembering that whiteboard markers aren’t a five?”

“I’m aro-ace.” Melanie stresses the words, beaming with the confidence of a child presenting a new finger-painted masterpiece. “I didn’t know, but I definitely am. I’m aromantic and asexual.”

“I’m glad for you.” Now Damien faces her, scratching his shock of unruly brown hair. “I don’t know why this needs a meeting? Do you want something addressed?”

Rowan leans back in his chair, too startled to do anything but watch. Melanie’s interrogation of him about all things a-spec over the last few days left him certain that she was questioning, but he didn’t expect this announcement—or Damien’s reaction to it.

“I’ve been reading, and I sent around a list of links everyone else should read, too. We must do something about our website. And, of course, everyone should know I’m aro-ace, and then let people ask any questions. Then we should consider changes to our submission forms, and then...”

Already, Melanie has done more to integrate her identity into the office and its projects than Rowan ever dared risk. Why, then, does he feel as though he’s being pressed inside a metal suit three sizes too small? Shouldn’t the end result be worth enduring a staff meeting in which she announces she’s aro-ace? Melanie being Melanie, she’ll gladly answer questions about aromanticism. Doesn’t that give Rowan everything he wanted—ability to be out as aromantic but someone else’s dealing with allo nonsense?

Matt’s right.

Rowan’s just a coward.

Damien nods at Rowan. “What do you think about that?”

“Uh...” Rowan draws a delaying breath, fighting against a brain too bewildered to be useful in forming comprehensible speech. “Uh … you’d have to run form changes past someone higher up, wouldn’t you? We have to ask about everything else? But...”

He doesn’t name Melanie a friend, but fellow aromantics aren’t common enough that Rowan will reject a companion—even if they’re cis and have subjected him to half a year’s discomfort, anxiety and alienation. He slides his restless hands under his legs, biting his lip against the sickening realisation. Melanie’s enthusiastic fearlessness may make this office and program better for him as an aro, but how can it answer all the attitudes that made Rowan fear coming out in the first place?

If he’s a coward, doesn’t he have reason?

“We do need a meeting,” he says slowly, his heart pounding in his chest like blast beats in death metal. “On better integrating marginalised people into our office. Because the way you emphasise my pronouns, Melanie, or the way Shelby reassures me five times that I can correct her … that doesn’t make me feel safe. It makes me feel reminded. Different. Too visible. And that’s why...”

“You ended up standing on a desk?” Damien asks with the gruffness of a middle-aged cis man trying to sound gentle.

“Yeah,” Rowan mutters. “That.”

Melanie clasps her fingers to her lips. “Oh! I didn’t mean anything by it! I just wanted people to get it right!”

How many times has he suffered through well-meaning people explaining that in response to his saying that they made him uncomfortable? How many times has he heard people justify their actions as though good intent always mitigates bad impact?

“You’re … you’re still making this about you! The only answer I want or need from you is thanks for telling me, Rowan, I won’t do it again! That’s all! Not your reasoning, not this effort to justify! I want to know that you hear me, that you’ll acknowledge that your intent however good still made me come home crying from dysphoria, and that you’ll stop because I don’t want to put up with it anymore! That’s all!”

For the second time in less than a fortnight, a chilling silence envelops the office.

“We need a meeting,” Rowan says breathlessly, reminding himself that at least this time he isn’t standing on his desk, “discussing how to include marginalised people in our office. Discussing all the microaggressions. Maybe you need to find … educators, trainers who come in and do this. I don’t know. I’m just so tired of never feeling safe or normal, never feeling like I can say anything because this isn’t hate and at least you’re not my parents! Like I don’t ever get to have anything better!”

He stands up, unsure what to do past fetching himself a distracting cup of coffee.

Maybe, then, he’ll be able to survive the way Melanie looks at him—as though he just ran over her puppy.

She just came out, and he did run right over it.

“I’m sorry.” Rowan sags onto his chair, leaning forwards to grab his satchel despite the unpleasant giddiness. “I’m sorry. It’s wonderful, Melanie, that you now know who you are and that you can come out. And it’s amazing that you’re doing things already, when I needed like six months just to get used to my knowing I’m aro. I just...” He reaches inside the satchel and pulls out a rough oblong shape wrapped in white tissue paper. “Here. I’m sorry.”

He, an allo-aro man, screwed up an aro-ace woman’s coming out. Shouldn’t he know better? He wants to laugh, wants to cry, wants to curl up in a ball and hide under his desk. Even now, when he’s trying to get what he needs as a trans man, he’s being the worst kind of aromantic!

Her lips pinched, Melanie takes the present in her hands, worrying at the top piece of tape with her long, pink nails.

“We’ll have a meeting.” Damien runs his hand through his hair as though he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. “I’ll talk to the heads about … sensitivity training, I suppose this also is. Would you be willing to write me an email outlining some of these behaviours and any ways we can make this office safer for you? Is that an appropriate thing to ask of you?”

“I don’t mind,” Rowan says. As long as he doesn’t go ignored, he’ll send a few emails—and he already has a few blog posts on which to draw. “Thank you.”

“Do you … want anything, now? To talk privately to me or anyone else? Or to a senior supervisor? Or someone with the government body? Can I do or arrange anything else?”

“Coffee. Please. And … and then to go back to fixing photos as though absolutely nothing happened because I don’t … do this sort of thing.” Rowan heaves a shaking sigh, pushing aside the thought that nobody can have failed to observe this. “Thank—thank you. I’m sorry. Thank you.”

He notices Damien gesturing at Melanie, notices that Rowan’s aro flag mug leaves with both and returns a few minutes later—now distracting from the office’s musty odour with its rich bitterness. He takes a few sips, but only by throwing himself into his work can he survive the gibbering, chattering thoughts building into a crushing tsunami of what the hell. Why did he do that? Why—no. Photos.

The soft clunk of crockery hitting laminate makes him look up.

Melanie leans against the edge of Rowan’s desk, her hand resting atop her new orange, yellow, white and blue aro-ace flag mug. “I’m sorry. Thanks for telling me.” She draws a deep breath, tapping her nails against the rim. “I didn’t know I could … that there’s an explanation, until I read your booklet. It described me. Things I didn’t realise about me! Things I’d been feeling! But … I’ve been learning about things like micro-aggressions. I didn’t know I’d been doing them myself. I’m sorry. I’ll keep learning. And thank you for my cup.”

“I know,” Rowan says softly, thinking back to the day when he realised the words “aromantic” and “frayromantic” describe him. A belated voicing of confusion and alienation; the naming of a constant sense of difference from the world. Revelation, understanding, explanation. “I know. I’m sorry, too. I don’t like … scenes. Or asking people things. I’m an anxious coward. So it just...”

He waves his hands, trying to mime an explosion.

Melanie, wide-eyed, jerks her head. “I couldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t done it first—and I wouldn’t have known to say anything if you hadn’t! And you’re asking us to do things knowing that we don’t understand, which must be frightening at least. You’re brave. And you shouldn’t be sorry.”

Rowan stares at her, unsure what to say in response. Never has anyone in his life freely offered such a sentiment. Never has anyone offered him something so generous without subsequent critique of Rowan’s intolerance for and impatience with their struggles to deal with him, praise softening the following reproval.

Brave.

His throat tightens and his eyes blur.

“Would you work with me on a proposal to put together for the submission forms? Damien insisted that I work with you, if you want to.”

“Uh … yeah?”

Melanie grabs a stack of papers from her desk and a chair. “I’ve gone through the old forms and highlighted passages. Do you want to read through and see if there’s anything I’ve missed or anything that should be left?”

He nods and takes the papers. Is this an alternate universe, the world flung upside down? Or, if people possess a minimum of decency, can he make needed change by addressing his problems instead of letting everyone talk over him? Can he build a world where he doesn’t endure cis or allo microaggressions by believing that their inconveniences aren’t worth more than his discomfort?

If his co-workers doesn’t object to correction, if they’re willing to make changes and investigate training, is the problem one of Rowan’s overreaction?

Does that mean he can talk to Matt the way he spoke to Melanie and Damien?

“Is something wrong?” Melanie asks, frowning.

Rowan shakes his head and plucks a pen from his frayro mug. “No.”

For the first time in a long time, that’s mostly true.

#aggressivelyarospectacular #aggressivelyarospec #aromantic #aro writing #alloaro #aroace #arospec creations #fiction #original fiction #original fiction and prose #contemporary #amatonormativity #cissexism #queer antagonism #romance mention #aromantic and bisexual #aromantic and transgender #k. a. cook #long post #very long post #extremely long post #physical intimacy #frayromantic #love mention

[ecoamerica]

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[kae-karo]

hi! me again! i understand that bi/pan people with a preference would never be considered lesbians but i had it presented to me as being like bisexual homoromantic which would be as valid as being ace and homoromantic right? and i don't understand how A's id could affect or imply anything about B's id? like the acknowledgment of demigirls doesn't affects girls being fully girls? as far as pronouns isn't the whole point that they ARE gendered, otherwise we would all just be they/them? (1/2)

non queer people very much understand pronouns to indicate gender. so why is language malleable when it comes to redefining gender and pronouns but not when it comes to using orientation labels differently? also i read that carrd and want to clarify i would never make the argument that trans people aren't "really" the gender they id as. also, i'm sorry for asking so much but i'm just trying to understand.

--

hi dear! for context (x) and please don’t apologize for asking questions! there are so many people who would rather shut down and not try to understand, i will always greatly appreciate people who are actively trying to learn

also sorry this got wAY too long lmao i have a lot of thoughts, apparently...

as for the way the term bi/pan lesbian was presented to you, that’s totally understandable! and again, per my lil caveat, the idea of expressing a difference in romantic and sexual attraction with a single term (like being bi/pansexual but lesbian in terms of romantic attraction) is totally chill but i think the part that starts to come into question is the large movement of people who were using bi/pan lesbian in the way i described in my other post (ie as a way to express that they are “lesbian but with some attraction to men, still”)

in terms of how person A identifies and how that affects person B, the point is less about an individual interaction - no, how a stranger chooses to identify themself does not directly affect my identity. to your notion of demigirls and the fact that they don’t negate the identity of women, that’s totally true! it’s not so much that a person’s identity negates another’s, more that the words a person uses to identify themself can affect others, because we tie certain terms with certain experiences. by a group of people commandeering terminology that already has an experience tied to it, the people who already use that terminology (because they have that experience) can start to feel as though their experience and identity are being called into question

okay, so if bi/pan lesbians become a standard terminology to describe ppl who would id as lesbians if not for some attraction to men, that could start to bring into question whether all or any lesbians could be attracted to men (as the person in the tweet mentioned). now (certain) men may start to believe that any person who ids as a lesbian might still be attracted to men, so these certain men may think that they have a chance with that lesbian even though the man ids as a man! this could lead to harassment, or the lesbian in question may already be prone to some internalized homophobia. now they’re starting to wonder if their attraction should include men because they id as a lesbian (and apparently, lesbian could include attraction to men), or if they’ve just been ‘confused’, as people may have told them before, and they start to doubt their own identity and whether ‘lesbian’ is the right reflection of their experiences (which it is, except that the term has been hijacked and presented as including experiences that actually belong in the bi/pan community)

and, once again, the way the terminology is structured (a ‘bi/pan lesbian’) seems to imply that the person in question doesn’t want to be attracted to men. if they did, why not use an umbrella term like bi or pan as their identity? the only distinguishing feature here is that one is inclusive while the other says ‘i’m attracted to women primarily and would like to identify as a lesbian, except for that pesky bit of me that’s attracted to men too...’ again, this is a harmful ideology to let grow, not only for those already identifying as bi/pan but for baby queers who may not fully understand their own identities yet! or for people outside the community who are trying to understand to the best of their abilities as allies!

to that end, it also propagates that harmful rhetoric of ‘oof, doesn’t it suck to be attracted to men lmao’ like MAN that’s really hurtful to guys??? and that rhetoric already exists. notions like this (where a wonderful umbrella term is turned into something that seeks to minimize attraction to men/male-aligned genders) can be so harmful not only to cis men and transmasc/trans men who are a part of the community but men outside the community as well

okay with regards to pronouns: i think this is where we start to get into the deconstruction of gender as a social construct. i feel like the most apt analogy here is the one i provided in the other post: names. names have, throughout history, been gendered (for the most part). sally was a girl, timmy was a boy. but we’ve started to deconstruct that as we’ve started to recognize that there are more than 2 genders (as a societal whole, i’m aware that this hasn’t been news in a while for people in the queer community). you have names like alex, sam, riley, names that you can’t look at and go ‘ah, they are [certain] gender!’ which is awesome for everyone! esp for people who are sensitive about their gender identity and for whom it is bothersome, upsetting, or even triggering to be misgendered!

pronouns are grammatically just a substitute for a noun, they take the place of the noun for the sake of ease of speech/writing. so the first question here is why, if we’ve extrapolated and separated the idea of someone’s name from their gender and acknowledged that the thing that we refer to them by is just...a noise they like, then why is it necessary for pronouns (another thing that is just a noise the person likes) to be inherently tied to a gender? a gender is a representation of an experience, but people who use the same pronouns may have nothing in common in terms of their gender experience!

now, you could argue that people who use they/them pronouns may be able to rally around a shared experience/frustration with getting others to use and accept those pronouns, but they likely aren’t all going to share a gender - maybe some are fem-aligned, or masc-aligned, or genderfluid or agender or any other gender on the massive spectrum of possible gender identities. but the way that they ask others to refer to themselves purely as an individual does not help give any insight into their experiences or community! 

you stated that ‘as far as pronouns isn't the whole point that they ARE gendered?’, so my question here is what purpose do pronouns actually serve? they allow you to refer to a person without using their name, right? so if we’re talking outside the world of grammar, i would argue that a person’s pronouns are an extension of their name: the purpose of a name and/or pronouns is to ensure that they make the user of said name/pronouns comfortable in their identity when being referred to. they are whatever gender they are (if any at all) - they may choose a name and pronouns to help them feel more comfortable in who they are. in fact, they may choose a name and pronouns that they didn’t use from birth simply because they do not feel comfortable with them for non-gender-related reasons, too!

and i can hear you thinking ‘okay, so why can’t we do that with labels like sexuality and just let people use whatever feels okay?’ and this is sort of the way i think about it: there are certain words we have defined with clarity in order to help us as a community understand ourselves and each other. we all agree that cis = you are the gender you were assigned at birth, trans = you are not the gender you were assigned at birth. lesbian means attraction to women/fem-aligned genders, ace means feeling no sexual attraction, bi and pan are siblings of each other that define attraction to all genders (which may or may not include preferences). male and female as genders have clear enough meanings that we use them in our other definitions, and nonbinary is a lovely catch-all umbrella that can encompass anything outside ‘male’ and ‘female’, even though there are also more specific identities that fall under that umbrella

(quick aside - fwiw i don’t think gender definitions are necessarily malleable in the same way pronoun ‘definitions’ are, i think there are gender experiences that we have not yet given formal terms to and that people may switch around between existing gender identifying terms as they look for ones that get close to their own and i think there’s still a question of what it even means to be a certain gender without reference to other genders, but as it stands, people who identify with certain gender terms do so because of a set of shared experiences that fall underneath that gender term)

what we have not done is defined an individual’s right to their experiences. if someone feels attraction to all genders with a preference for men, there’s a word to express that! if a person feels like they might shift between a variety of genders on a regular basis, there’s a word for that! if a person does not feel romantic attraction, there’s a word for that! and the reason we use these words with pre-defined definitions is so that we can identify people who share our experiences - if someone identifies as a lesbian, they can seek out other lesbians and know that they are among a group that understands what they have been through or are going through. if someone experiences attraction to all genders with a female/fem-aligned preference, they are likely not going to find a community that understands their experiences if they look for people who identify as lesbian

but if a person decides that hey, i feel most myself when people call me ‘emma’ even though that wasn’t my assigned birth name, that is when we step back and say ‘yes, that’s awesome! you do you!’ because there is no pre-defined definition of that name - yes, there’s a societal gender often associated with it, but it doesn’t provide anyone any benefit to assign a definition of an experience to that name. nobody is out there going ‘where are all the ‘emmas’, the ‘emmas’ understand my experience and i want to find them so that i can feel as though i’m part of the ‘emma’ community’

now, idk about you, but if i hear that someone uses she/her pronouns, that means....almost nothing to me, except that i know that they prefer those pronouns! in the same way that someone saying ‘oh, my name is emma’ means nothing to me except that their name is emma! whereas if someone says to me, ‘i’m asexual’, i know from their choice of identifier that they fall under the ace umbrella and awesome, this person might understand how i feel about certain subjects! (obviously ace is a huge spectrum in itself, but you get the idea)

in summary:

an orientation or a gender relates to an individual’s experiences, and the general definitions we have assigned to certain orientations and genders should remain somewhat clearly-defined in order to provide a sense of community for those that fall under the orientation/gender in question. that is not to say that new orientations/gender terms can’t arise to describe new experiences that do not already have a definition. the irritation with the ‘bi/pan lesbian’ discourse is that the experience described (attraction to all genders with fem-aligned preference) already has a defined term (bi or pan) that is contradictory to the term ‘lesbian’

the reason pronouns don’t need to fall under a clear definition is that they are not a signal to indicate a uniting experience - their purpose and function is equivalent to that of a name: it’s a way to refer to a person that makes that person feel comfortable, and it’s perfectly fine not to have a rigid definition for pronouns in the same way that you wouldn’t assign a name to have a rigid experience or definition associated with it

i know it’s a long read, but i hope that helps clarify my thoughts on the matter!

#anon #ask

[tabletopinfinities]

7th Sea

Swashbuckling and Sorcery Piracy and Exploration Espionage and Intrigue Welcome to the New World

What’s the premise?

7th Sea is a world of swashbuckling fantasy, in a setting that’s very much like our Earth circa the Age of Sail, but filled with sorcery, monsters, and the mysterious ruins of a pre-human civilization. The core book focuses on Théah, the 7th Sea world’s equivalent of Europe, which is currently recovering from a bloody war between the traditional Vaticine Church and the reformist Objectionists and emerging into a new age of nationalism and humanism. Monarchs play games of espionage while secret societies work behind the scenes. Traders sail to the New World in search of exotic treasures and pirates follow in their wake. Some nations are even beginning to experiment with a bold new idea - democracy.

The technology level of Théah is slightly higher than our world’s was at the time, thanks partly to a Vaticine Church that values knowledge and discovery and also partly to ancient Syrneth artifacts that are centuries beyond human science. Sorcery and magic are not uncommon - but are primarily the domain of the nobility. Spirits, monsters, and other beings haunt the wild places, and any given folktale has a chance to be true.

The characters you play are all very explicitly Heroes, doing noble deeds to fight tyrannical Villains. The world of 7th Sea has a lot of problems besieging it right now - the looming specter of the Castillian Inquisition, the depredations of the Atabean Trading Company, the tyranny of l’Empereur du Montaigne, just to name a few. It’s a world on the brink of becoming something wonderful - it just needs a few good heroes to show it the way.

You’d like it if you’re into: The Princess Bride, Pirates of the Carribean, Zorro, The Three Musketeers, Brotherhood of the Wolf, old Errol Flynn movies

Why do you recommend it?

If you’ve ever wanted to swing from chandeliers, plunder treasure, cut feathers off caps with a swish of your rapier, and woo the fair maiden / handsome prince / other attractive individual, 7th Sea is the game for you. Magic and strange technology add a great twist to an otherwise straightforward historical fantasy.

7th Sea, the new 2nd edition in particular, is one of the most inclusive and welcoming mainstream RPGs out there. Women and people of color can be characters of all kinds, and queer, trans, and nonbinary characters are littered throughout the books and accepted within the setting itself. That, plus the emphasis on your character being a capital-H Hero, make 7th Sea an unapologetically wholesome game. It’s lighthearted and silly, while still allowing for serious dramatic moments.

Plus your character practically cannot die, no matter how much you screw up.

What are the rules like?

The core idea of 7th Sea is that you will almost always succeed at what you’re trying to do. You’re a Hero, after all. If you don’t roll well enough, though, your success might not be total. The way they mechanically represent this is very narrative-driven and plays quite differently from the standard RPG.

There’s three kinds of rolls to make in 7th Sea. The most basic, the Risk, is when your character is trying to bypass a simple obstacle. For instance, they might be trying to escape from a burning room. You decide what your character’s Approach to that will be, and what combination of skills and traits to use. In this case, they might use Finesse + Athletics to dodge and and jump over falling beams, or perhaps Brawn + Weaponry to use their axe to hack a hole in the wall, or even Panache + Tempt to bat their eyes at the fleeing henchman and tell him that if he rescues you, you’ll surely owe him a favor. Then you roll a d10 for each point you have in the chosen trait and skill. If you’re using a skill you haven’t used yet this scene, roll another die, and if you take the time to describe your action a little, roll a further die. Each set of dice you can add up to 10 is one success - here called Raises.

All it takes to succeed in the Risk is a single Raise. The catch is: there will always be Consequences and Opportunities associated with the Risk. You’ll need to spend additional Raises to either avoid the Consequences or activate the Opportunities. In this scenario, the consequences might be something like “take 3 damage from fire” - and each Raises you spend towards that will remove 1 damage from that. Or perhaps you’ll need to keep your clothes free of ash so you can sneak into the ballroom after like nothing happened. For Opportunities, it might be something like “grab the important-looking letter on the table before it burns” or “lead the poor henchman along enough that he switches sides.” So success or failure is never just binary - unless you roll really well, you’ll have to make some choices about what the effects of your actions on the story will be.

The two other kinds of rolls work in a very similar way. Action Sequences represent fights, chases, and the like, and Dramatic Sequences are extended challenges like sneaking into the castle or snooping around town to find information on the wicked viscount’s plans. You make your Approach, and then each character gets to spend Raises from their pool to take actions. As before, all you need is a single Raise to do something, but if a Hero and a Villain are trying to contest, whoever spends more Raises on it wins. During Action Sequences, you can spend Raises to do damage - yes, this means anything can be used as an attack skill if you’re creative enough (“I use Wits + Scholarship to whip up a gas grenade and throw it at her!”). Action Sequences can have Consequences and Opportunities just like a Risk can, including Brute Squads, which are the nameless flunkies your hero mows through without a second thought. A single point of damage takes out a single brute, but any brutes left alive get to deal damage at the end of the round. There might also be events that happen at certain points in the Action Sequence once everyone’s down to a certain number of Raises - the storm hits the ship at 4 Raises, and it hits the rocks and starts to sink at 1.

Dramatic Sequences are the same but paced over a more extended period of time, and are more about seeing how far you can get in your task before you run out of Raises. As before, each Raise you spend lets you change the scene in some way - climb over the castle wall, for instance. Next, you might have to spend a Raise to sneak past the guards, then to steal the jailer’s key. If you run out, though, you’ll be unable to change the scene any further - so after you’ve rescued your ally from jail and you hear someone’s footsteps approaching, if you don’t have another Raise left to hide you may just have to fight your way out.

Every character is pretty tough and can take a fair amount of damage before going down. For every 5th point of damage you take (or any time you get hit with a firearm, because those things are nasty), you take a Dramatic Wound. Your first Dramatic Wound actually helps you - just like the hero in an adventure story, you become driven to succeed and get a bonus on all your rolls. For your second Dramatic Wound, the tables start to turn and now all the Villains get a bonus on their roles. For the third, you get an even bigger bonus as your heroic determination kicks in - and then at the fourth, you become helpless. Not dead, just unconscious or incapacitated - it takes an explicit act from the GM to actually kill you.

Finally, there’s Hero Points. These work a bit like an expanded version of Inspiration from D&D 5E, and other similar mechanics. Basically, you can spend them for bonuses to your roll, a bonus to someone else’s roll, to fight on for a round after you’re incapacitated, and a few other things. You can also spend them to activate your Knacks, which are big character abilities with effects like “knock out an entire Brute Squad in one go” or Come Hither, which lets you lure a character into another room and return without them… no rolling required. Everyone gets one Hero Point to start, and you can earn more by acting in accordance with your character. You can also get one at any time by choosing to fail a roll - so if you think the odds are overwhelming, or you just want to see what happens if your character gets captured or can’t stop the villain’s plan from succeeding, you can just say “I fail” and bank up another Hero Point for the challenge ahead.

What’s my character like?

Your character is a Hero. They come from a particular Nation that gives them some bonuses, and they have two Backgrounds that tell you what their professions are/were and give them some bonus skills and Advantages, as well as determining what in-character actions give them Hero Points. They have a Virtue and a Hubris, each based off the Major Arcana of the tarot (or Sorte deck, in this world). The Virtue is a powerful special ability they can activate, and the Hubris is a character flaw that you can get a Hero Point for roleplaying. Beyond that, there are no classes per se - the character is yours to define as you see fit. Advantages are the main way of customizing your character and giving them special abilities.

You can choose to take Advantages join a Swordsman School or take Sorcery from your nation of origin. Swordsman Schools give you the option to do some fancy Maneuvers in combat, which let you hit for lots of damage, parry opponents’ attacks, etc, as well as a unique Maneuver for each school based on its preferred weapons and fighting style. The difference in combat effectiveness between a swordsman and a non-swordsman is huge, so if you’re planning on making a character that excels at combat, swordsman is definitely the way to go. You also get to be a part of the Swordsman’s Guild, who are legally allowed to challenge people to duels.

The Core Rules present character creation options only for the primary Théan nations - if you want to play a character from another culture, you’ll need the appropriate book. (See What books should I get?, below.)

Avalon, seat of the Triple Crown, is a green and enchanted land touched by the Sidhe - elves, faeries, goblins, and other creatures. The Sidhe are sometimes beautiful, sometimes hideous, always inhuman, and frequently downright nasty. Queen Elaine recently ascended to the throne after recovering the Graal, throwing off the yoke of Montaignois conquest and bringing the Sidhe back to our world - but now the Sidhe are starting to encroach on human lands. This is a land of faerie tales, and those don’t always end happily.

The other two nations in the Triple Crown are the Highland Marches, a craggy land of proud clans and chieftains, and Inismore, a land with a fondness for stories, whiskey, and a good bar fight. Neither of these two is necessarily happy about being part of the Triple Crown, and there’s a growing separatist movement looking to break the alliance, no matter how much gunpowder and blood it takes.

Avalon’s Sorcery takes the form of becoming one of the Knights of Ellilodd, each one the embodiment of an ancient knight of legend. In exchange for taking a vow to the Graal to be a righteous protector of justice, you can tap into that knight’s legendary powers. Should you break your vow, you’ll need to atone before you can regain your powers, however.

Castille is a sun-dappled nation with a deeply passionate people. They recently held off a Montaignois invasion at dear cost, only to fall under the yoke of the Inquisition. Cardinal Verdugo controls their young king like a puppet while he conducts a reign of terror across Théah aimed at rooting out anything he deems heresy. Castille is the seat of the Vaticine Church, and its people are often devoutly religious and very highly educated thanks to the nation’s excellent universities.

While Castille has no Sorcery in the Core Rules, Nations of Théah, Volume 1 introduces Alquimia as an option, letting you invent various alchemical and technological marvels and advancing along a path of self-improvement towards a grand goal.

Eisen was the center of the fighting between Vaticine and Objectionist, and it left the land a blood-soaked mudhole full of traumatized survivors, divided between small princedoms, some of which seek to unite the nation under their banner. Worse, something about the concentrated misery has spawned literal Horrors, monsters of all shapes and sizes that roam the land and prey on innocent victims. But the people of Eisen are a grim, determined lot, and the nation’s not ready to give up without a fight.

Eisen’s Sorcery, Hexenwerk, is a particularly gruesome art dedicated to refining potions and unguents from dead bodies - and then consuming them to gain powers to fight undead horrors and other foes. Hexen are often hunted down as grave-robbers, but they do what they have to do to survive and stop the Horrors.

Montaigne is often considered the center of Théan culture, or at least the Montaignoise themselves certainly think so. Their courts set the standard for fashion across the continent, and their nobles throw the most lavish parties. Unfortunately, all of this has been built on the backs of the peasantry, who have been pushed to their limit by harsh taxes and conscription to serve in L’Empereur’s frivolous wars. L’Empereur sits on his grand throne, surrounded by an endless party of gilded nobility, oblivious to the whispers of revolution coming from below.

Montaignois Sorcery is passed down through noble bloodlines, but it’s quite ungenteel. The art of Porté lets you rip bleeding holes in reality and slip through the space between to walk to other places, or to pull objects out of thin air. Just never open your eyes while you’re in-between.

The Sarmatian Commonwealth is actually two lands under a single crown - the cosmopolitan Reczezpospolitans, and the more traditional Curonians, who still venerate the old spirits. Recently, the king, disgusted with gridlock in the houses of parliament, made a proclamation of Golden Liberty. This made everyone in Sarmatia was now a noble with voting power, marking the beginning of a chaotic experiment in democracy. Some Sarmatians seek to lead their country into a populist new era, some try to take advantage of the chaos to seize power, and others, resentful of the new order, plot to depose the aging king.

Sanderis, the Sarmatian Sorcery, is about making deals with devils. Dievai, to be more precise. They’ll do anything you wish, from snuffing a candle up to unleashing a firestorm that destroys an entire city - provided that you are willing to pay their price.

Ussura is a massive, wild country with long winters and sparse civilization. The Ussurans are pragmatic and hardy folk, and highly superstitious with good reason - spirits both good and evil thrive in these lands. The greatest among them, Matushka, watches over the Ussuran people like an overprotective mother, rewarding the just and punishing the wicked. The Czar recently died under suspicious circumstances, leaving the nation divided by two potential successors -  one dedicated to modernization, the other seeking to preserve the old ways.

Ussura’s form of Sorcery, Dar Matushki, are the gifts of Matushka herself - often given as the reward for overcoming painful lessons. Those who fall out of favor with her will earn her wrath, however.

Vestenmannavenjar, another cold northern country, is a land of fierce raiders and warriors who have completely reinvented themselves as a modern nation. In recent years they presented the world with a standard, unified currency - the Guilder - that has come to dominate world trade and finance, all to the benefit of the Vesten, of course. Rather than the High King of olden times, they are ruled by the Vendel League, made up of the heads of all the various trade guilds. Now, rather than conquest and pillage, they extract their plunder from fees and interest. Some Vesten mourn for what used to be, a nation of honor and blood replaced by silver and greed.

Vesten has no Sorcery in the core book, but Nations of Théah, Volume 1 introduces Galdr, a magic derived from runic words of power. Each rune grants strengths tempered with weaknesses, to maintain the balance.

Vodacce is a nation of intrigue, divided up between seven Merchant Princes who constantly scheme against each other. Like Castille, they are devoutly Vaticine, but they have a very unorthodox interpretation of sin, believing that it is better to indulge yourself than let desire fester in your heart.

Vodacce’s magic, Sorte, is the exclusive province of women. The Sorte Strega can manipulate the strands of Fate itself, and can be distinguished by their long black veils, to hide the glazed look they get when manipulating destiny. Too much tugging on the strands risks them lashing back out at you, however, giving you bad luck at the worst times. The men of Vodacce all fear the power of Sorte, and keep the women of Vodacce oppressed and illiterate.

In addition to being from a particular nation, your Hero can also join a secret society. In 1st edition, all of these societies had hidden secrets to them that were presented in their own books. Given that some of the 2nd edition versions differ radically from their older incarnations and the book devoted to secret societies hasn’t come out yet, it’s unknown if those secrets still hold true, or if they hold the keys to different world-shattering truths.

Die Kreuzritter are a former order of crusader knights, since gone underground. They hunt monsters and defend the innocent, using the legendary metal called Dracheneisen, which has great powers against monsters and the supernatural.

The Knights of the Rose and Cross, one of the few secret societies with a significant public face, publicly fight injustice and protect the society’s Patrons. There are rumors of hidden occult secrets only revealed to the initiated.

The Invisible College are a loosely-affiliated band of scholars, artists, scientists, and philosophers who seek to preserve knowledge from those who would destroy it - especially the forces of the Inquisition. They have access to devices on the cutting edge of Théan science.

The Brotherhood of the Coast are pirates who have banded together under a shared code of honor, providing protection to ships that pay them and plundering those that don’t.

Močiutės Skara, “Grandmother’s Shawl,” is in its public face an order of nice old ladies who tend to the victims of disasters and wars, and are welcomed across Théah. In private, however, they seek to prevent wars and achieve peace through any means necessary.

Los Vagobundos are dedicated to upholding the reigns of good monarchs and overthrowing unjust ones. Their leader, the masked man called “El Vagobundo,” can appear many places at once - but unbeknownst to outsiders, it’s always a different member under the mask, channeling the power of the legend.

The Rilasciare are anarchist free thinkers who oppose oppression and tyranny in all its forms, but especially seek to do away with the very concept of monarchy. Some accomplish their goals through pranks and subterfuge, others through bombs and daggers.

Sophia’s Daughters, a small branch of the Rilasciare, are more specifically dedicated to aiding the Fate Witches of Vodacce, spiriting them to safety in other nations, educating them in secret, and making strides towards liberation whenever possible.

What’s the campaign like?

In a game where the characters all play Heroes, there’s a strong focus on defeating Villains. Before you fight them directly, you have to defeat their Schemes, upon which they stake some of their influence. Stop the Scheme, and they lose what they wagered, otherwise, they gain back double their investment. Foil enough Schemes, and they’ll be dramatically weakened for the final confrontation. Thus, most campaigns are focused around a central Villain and their underlings that the Heroes can work their way through.

Each of your characters also has their own separate Stories to pursue, which is how the experience system works. You pick what story your Hero will follow, such as “avenge my father’s death,” figure out what benefit they get at the end of the Story, like “Weaponry 5,” and then figure out how many steps the story will have in the story based on what you want. Although you probably know the beginning step of the story (“find the name of the woman who killed my father”) and what the end will be (“I challenge her to a duel”), you and the GM can work together to figure out the most interesting twists along the way (“Step 3: I discover she was secretly my half-sister”). If you want, there’s nothing stopping you from making the ending a tragic one at the last minute, or even deciding that your Hero should fail so that they can be led into a future Story (“She defeated me into the duel and threw me into the sea - but not before she told me the real reason she killed my father!”) In between these main story points, the GM will also weave in their own side stories and recurring stories, which grant rewards in the same way as you complete them.

Odds are also good your party will get access to a ship at some point, this being a setting with an emphasis on seafaring. Ships have their own abilities based on where they were built and their history, and can gain new abilities as the party completes various types of adventures, like unlockable achievements. Players are encouraged to work with the GM and flesh out the ship’s NPC crew. Of course, the crew will also need to be paid regularly lest they turn mutinous.

What books should I get?

It should be noted that 1st edition and 2nd edition are radically different, both in rules and setting. While the 1st edition books are still useful as inspiration, most of the material in them isn’t canonical any more, and a good chunk of the setting is completely new to 2nd edition anyway. Frustratingly, there’s some characters in both editions that didn’t get described in the 2nd edition books on the grounds that they were already described in 1st edition. If you prefer rules that work like a more traditional RPG, 1st edition is probably more for you (and it also has cross-compatibility with the d20 system in its later supplements). Otherwise, stick to the 2nd edition books. You’ll need a copy of the Core Rulebook, and then the other books describe and provide character creation rules for the other nations and continents not described there.

Nations of Théah, Volumes 1 and 2 flesh out the western and eastern nations respectively, adding some more geographical and historical material as well as some new character rules suited for those nations.

Pirate Nations is very useful for a seafaring campaign, covering the various groups in the Atabean Sea, from pirate republics to native sea-monster hunting Rahuri, a slave colony that cast off its chains, and the villainous Atabean Trading Company. It also includes the Théan nation of Numa, once the cradle of Théan civilization.

The Crescent Empire introduces the Middle Eastern-inspired nations, flourishing under a new Caliph who banished her wicked brother from the throne. These five nations are united as one despite their differences, but loyalists to the old Caliph still plant seeds of dissent for his return.

The New World has the Central/South American continent of Aztlan, once ruled by Old Gods that caused a great cataclysm when they were overthrown that made the land itself shift and change. The Aztlani now venture into this uncharted territory to reclaim what they once had, balancing cultural independence against unifying the continent under one flag, whether by alliance or conquest, while wondering how long they can hold back the greedy Théans eyeing the continent’s treasures.

Lands of Gold and Fire presents the African continent, Ifri, home to several wealthy and highly advanced civilizations. They are under threat both from expansionist Théan powers and the Atabean Trading Company, whose campaign of slavery has empowered an ancient evil in the land.

Several other books are forthcoming for 2nd edition, including one with more information on the secret societies, and The Colonies, which will detail the North American continent. Khitai, the Asian continent, will have its own separate game system (called, appropriately, Khitai), with similar but slightly different rules.

What equipment do I need?

7th Sea uses d10s only, and you’ll want about 6-8 on hand per player, plus a decent stockpile for the GM. Sharing dice isn’t recommended here because it’s easier to keep the dice you rolled in front of you to count Raises during Action Sequences. You’ll also need some method of keeping track of Hero Points - poker chips work well, but you can get creative. Official 7th Sea versions of both are available.

There’s also the Sorte Deck, which makes a great in-universe prop (especially for Fate Witches), although you should note that it differs slightly from real-world tarot decks and has a few arcana cards that aren’t detailed even in the Core Rules. You could use it to guide your characters’ fates, or suggest the next step in their Stories.

Notecards are also helpful for tracking ongoing Stories.

#tabletop gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop RPGs #7th Sea #John Wick Presents #Chaosium #trpgs #ttrpgs #trpg #roleplaying #roleplaying games #pirates #swashbuckling #musketeers #Tabletop Roleplaying Games #rpgs #rpg #roleplaying game #d&d #Dungeons and Dragons

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Mod Note Re: Disability

Greetings fellow Fandalites!  Bug and I wanted to address something we’ve noticed in a couple asks.

We’re both interested in disability studies. Or, rather, after being exposed to scholarship, activism, and art about the portrayal of disability in popular culture, we’ve both come to realize a few things.  A. Ableism is far too prevalent in society, B. Any scholarship that includes identity politics (race studies, queer studies, post-Colonialism, etc) NEEDS to consider the disabled identity, c. We need to amplify disabled voices, especially artists, and d. Media portrayals of disabled characters are often deeply problematic.

Bug and I are not experts in disability studies, but we are both working hard to educate ourselves and apply disability studies to our chosen fields.

A quick definition for those of you unfamiliar: ableism is “discrimination in favor of able-bodied people...it’s also the belief that people with disabilities need to be fixed or cannot function as full members of society, and that having a disability is a defect rather than a dimension of difference” (X). It’s casting disability as something wrong with the body of the disabled individual, rather than something wrong with the society that fails to accommodate disabled bodies and minds. It’s assuming people with disabilities have little or no autonomy—basically what Jake (and to a lesser extent Marco and Cassie) do in #50 when they meet James, Kelly, Colette, and the others. Allie Cannington says that society tends to have “a very narrow-minded perception of disability. That narrow-minded assumption that all individuals with disabilities need and want certain things.”

This isn’t meant to point fingers or blame anyone. We didn’t know this a few years ago. We really doubt anyone on here is being deliberately ableist. But there are a few things that skirt uncomfortably close to ableism, so we won’t answer asks dealing with:

The assumption that people with disabilities would want to become nothlits in abled bodies. (Aside from lumping everyone together, this implies the superiority of abled over disabled bodies.  Also, the U.S.’s abysmal history of mistreating and dismissing the disabled makes it questionable whether this technology would be offered, whether or not anyone wanted it.)

The assumption that anyone with a disability would want to use alien or human technology to change themselves, including when it comes to mental illness and neurodiversity.

The assumption that Yeerks in their natural form are disabled. If humans figured out a way to fly, or teleport, or make things appear out of midair, it wouldn’t mean that the humans who couldn’t do those things were disabled. All the things I listed are super cool, and if I gained one of those abilities I would be VERY reluctant to give it up. But unless it was something that evolved organically (which takings hosts didn’t,) and/or anyone without this ability would die, (which isn’t true for the Yeerks,) the lack of having a host/a superpower/whatever does NOT automatically make someone disabled.

The assumption that an entire group of people (vecols, the visually impaired, the elderly, Minnesotans, the YPM, Hork Bajir, water polo enthusiasts, etc etc etc) would want the same or similar modifications to their minds or bodies.

Any strong assumptions about a disability that neither we nor anyone we’re close to has experienced. As Bug mentioned in her deaf Marco AU, we have an uncle who is hard of hearing. Simply knowing him isn’t enough—it’s the stories he’s shared about everyday ableism, about the frustrations of being hard of hearing in a hearing world, and about Deaf culture—that informed Bug’s AU.  We’re not close with anyone with, for instance, paralysis or amputation; our ability to speak meaningfully about the life experiences of those individuals is severely limited.

If you have a disability and you’d like to consider what it would mean if Rachel were blind, or if Timmy was angrier at the Animorphs for getting his best friend killed, go for it. Tag us and we’ll happily share it. Also feel free to message us if we ever say or share anything that you find ableist. We’re still learning.

As Bug has said before, there’s simply no way that every ask will be answered. Just because you didn’t receive an answer doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Bug (and rarely, me,) answers asks that spark an idea, a scene, etc. There are some really interesting asks that won’t get answered. We’re Ph.D students: free time is a rare commodity.

— Cates

A couple of Bug’s asides on discussions of disability are below the cut.

To quote Cates: “Some people choose to modify their bodies/minds, some of them because of disabilities.  Some do not choose to do so; some do not have that choice.  However, ‘Julie didn’t want to be deaf anymore’ isn’t a story. ‘Julie decided to get a cochlear implant after considering the opinions of friends who had and hadn’t chosen to get the implant. She was nervous that she was just doing it to please her husband, who wasn’t deaf, but she decided that getting the implant would help her in her career as a speech therapist, and, hey, it was something she really wanted, so she went for it.’ That’s a story.”

Some other Animorphs-specific ideas that are doubtless well-intentioned but do not necessarily reflect the experiences of individuals with disabilities:

Yeerks as assistants for individuals with communication-related disabilities.  This practice could be useful for individuals who understand the process of yeerk infestation and give their fully informed consent.  However, it would involve giving a total stranger access to the disabled individual’s email passwords, personal fantasies, secret fears, weird crushes, and literally every single other piece of private information in that person’s life.  The implications become extremely troubling extremely quickly if the would-be host didn’t choose to seek out a yeerk assistant of their own accord.

Vecols finding a haven on Earth.  Although Mertil specifically chooses to live on Earth to avoid andalite ableism, no Earth society is absent of ableism.  The attitude that individuals with disabilities should “hide away” because it’s “for their own good” exists among humans as well as andalites.  The possibilities of humans and andalites having different attitudes toward disability are endless, but unfortunately Earth is definitely not a utopia for vecols.

Yeerks as having a “right” to use others’ bodies by force because of qualities of yeerk bodies.  At least in the U.N., there aren’t policies about anyone having the “right” to enslave anyone else, regardless of any of the individuals’ embodied experiences.

James and the other Auximorphs preferring abled bodies by default.  Some of them might prefer abled bodies, some might not.  We don’t know, and we don’t have enough information to make any assumptions.

Anyway, I’m echoing what Cates said: nobody is making these assumptions on purpose, and nobody has any malice here.  I’m still learning about disability studies, and a few years ago I wouldn’t have realized that many of these discussions are dominated by abled voices.  I’m trying to become more educated and responsible about my own abled privileges, and I seriously appreciate anyone who is willing to let us know how we can be more responsible and inclusive in the future.  Thank you.

— Bug

#animorphs #about the blogger #ableism #disability studies #auxiliary animorphs #yeerks #vecols

[freedom-of-fanfic]

hey um just a request, but you seem to use dfab and dmab often in weird contexts when you could just say women and men. e.g.: "any mlm that is shipped by more dfab people than dmab people." as a nonbinary trans person, a sex assigned at birth is not relevant most of the time, so could you maybe use it less when it isn't necessary?

thanks for letting me know your thoughts, anon. I’m pretty sure that particular example comes from the ‘my objections to anti-shipping’ post, which is pretty old now (though I reblogged it from myself today). I remember re-reading that recently and thinking ‘ah, I don’t think this is the best use of these phrases’ but I forgot to edit the original post anyway (classic adhd move, tbh). But still, it’s not the only example of me using descriptors that are kinda ‘eh’. 

I’m sorry that my word choice here was inappropriate and may have made you feel uncomfortable.

my use of descriptors like afab, amab, intersex*, genderqueer, cis, nb, trans, male, female, woman, man, etc is constantly evolving as I try to be precise but also inclusive when I talk about experiences that are affected by gender (which, let’s be real, is a huge number of experiences).

under the cut I’ll go into more detail about why I think picking the right combination of gender descriptors is both really important to me and also difficult to get right without causing anyone harm.

(built in tw: descriptions of transphobia/transmisogyny and mentions of the harm it causes.)

because my blog deals almost entirely in fandom experiences and how they are influenced by negative outside factors, I believe it’s very important to address both personal gender identity and how gender identity is perceived/treated by others (especially bigots/ignorant people) both currently and over the course of their lives. but that gets very complicated, very fast.

For example, every gender experience will be different from one another even if they share aspects of their gender identity:

- even though all cis and trans women are women, cis women and trans women will have very different experiences of womanhood. 

- to dissect this down even further, a trans person who realizes they are trans very early in life and is able to live as their true gender will have a different gender experience from a trans person who doesn’t realize they are trans until later in life, or who realizes they are trans early in life but is forcibly misgendered by people around them, or a person who changes from a non-transgender identity to a transgender identity as an adult, etc etc.

Relatedly, a person’s life experiences are also deeply affected by what gender other people assign them regardless of their consent:

 - If someone of any gender is raised under the assumption they are a particular gender because of their agab, they will share certain experiences with other people who are assigned the same gender at birth. otoh, how it affects them will depend in part on what their actual gender is, or if their gender identity changes down the line.

- obviously, non-cis people have to contend with a variety of nastiness that cis people don’t have to deal with. I won’t go into detail b/c nobody needs that grossness, but suffice to say: TERFs, right-wing activist groups like FRC, and transphobes in general make non-cis lives particularly difficult, up to and including getting non-cis people killed. in particular transgender people (but this also affects other non-cis identities).

- other forms of misgendering also cause harm, whether deliberate or not. from outright bigotry to people who think there are only two genders out of ignorance to people who use misgendering as a weapon to accidental assumptions of the wrong gender, it’s shit, and everyone will have a different experience with these issues based on a shitton of variables.

- and if all of the above wasn’t enough, gender experiences are heavily influenced by cultural background, the political climate, racism, sexual orientation, and on and on and on.

(and regarding my * on intersex above the cut: i am not intersex, and while I have read/heard a variety of experiences from personal anecdotal accounts by intersex people I generally try to avoid commenting on it from lack of knowledge (particularly because some intersex people have expressed they do not view ‘intersex’ as a gender descriptor but rather as a medical state.))

These are all things I try to bear in mind when making a post on tumblr that references gender. here’s an example of the kind of internal debates that come up:

the Japanese word ‘fujoshi’ is gendered, referring specifically to women who enjoy/create BL & queer-eye fictional m/m relationships. It carries this gendered connotation both when referring to a particular fan experience* and when it’s used as an insult in English-speaking fandom. What gender descriptors do I use to refer to people who are affected by this?

(*in this case I’m referring to using ‘fujoshi’ to describe a specific fan experience in English-speaking fandom/primarily US experience. By virtue of being a different culture than Japan, the experience described by ‘fujoshi’ will necessarily be different.)

as a fan experience, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ can encompass the experiences of women and/or afab people (particularly afab people who were raised under the assumption they were a woman whether or not this was true) who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi.

women: encompassing trans and cis women. (trans women may or may not share the experience of being recognized as a woman/identifying as a woman while being raised, but they are still just as affected all their lives by messages aimed at women.)

and/or afab people, particularly if they were raised under the assumption of being a female whether they were or not: afab people who are raised as women are also affected all their lives by messages aimed at women, though that experience is likely quite different from gender identity to gender identity.

who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi: a person who was raised under the assumption they are a woman may share certain experiences with other afab people, but even if they experienced the same messages/similar experiences as other afab people who chose to identify as ‘fujoshi’, that doesn’t mean they fall under the descriptor of ‘fujoshi’. I’m particularly thinking of trans men and nb people here - unless any one individual says differently about themselves, I think calling a trans man or person off the gender binary a ‘fujoshi’ would be misgendering them - but there may be many examples of people who don’t relate to the gendered aspect of ‘fujoshi’ for many reasons.

as an insult, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ is almost always a mess of gender essentialism and misgendering. It refers to those that are perceived as women by the person slinging the insult. ‘Perceived women’ often include cis women and/or afab people of any gender, frequently including trans men, and occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman.

perceived women: people that the insulter and/or ignorant portions of society would categorize as a woman without the person’s consent and regardless of accuracy.

cis women and/or afab people of any gender: a gender essentialist views gender as being synonymous with genitals (intersex people frequently either being categorized by the insulter separately or by whatever HRT/surgery was chosen for them). (in practice radfem ideology has the same effect, but they argue that gender doesn’t exist at all (only biological sex does).)

frequently including trans men: depending on how far the insulter is willing to go with their misgendering & often influenced by whether or not the insulter perceives a trans man as ‘passing’ as a cis man. (this may be affected by whether or not a trans man has undergone HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman: because if they ‘pass’ they may be perceived as a ‘real woman’ (ugh ugh ugh). (this may also be affected by HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

and now that I’ve settled on these descriptions, how do I condense them to something easy to read without distracting from the points I’m trying to make?

as an experience: “women and/or afab people”, maybe? perhaps “women and/or some afab people”?as an insult: “perceived women”, maybe?

(and I’m happy to take constructive criticism on this. I’d prefer it be sent not on anon so we can privately discuss it rather than doing it in posts on this blog (and if you don’t want to discuss your thoughts, just want to share and go, feel free to let me know - I won’t demand your time.))

in short: I think about a lot of stuff every time I pick gender descriptors on this blog. This doesn’t mean I always make the right choices - far from it - and there may not even be a truly ‘right’ choice. But I’m always seeking to be as inclusive and honest as I can be.

(PS: I don’t talk about my gender status here much other than to say ‘i’m afab’ because while I don’t presently identify as cis, I’m murky on it myself still & I don’t want my gender identity to affect whether or not ppl speak up about their opinions about my use of gender descriptors.)

#gender stuff #long post #gender descriptors #transphobia mention #transmisogyny mention #misgendering is a big problem #i really need a faq #Anonymous

[ecoamerica]

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