#the people who will observe me sexually then are completely allowed to

[winterarmyy]

Kiss It Better

A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of. 

Summary: In which the reader refused to let Bucky go down on her lately because she's embarrassed of the chafing marks on her inner thighs.

Pairing: avenger!bucky x female!reader

Words: 3.2k++

Warnings: 18+ contents, no minors allowed, nsfw, cunnilingus, cum eating, soft fluff, not much of angst but there's sprinkles of feels, body insecurities, bucky is in love and in heat tbh, i think he is particularly unhinged and filthy in this one but hey, you tell me. idk if i need to remind y'all about this but english is not my first language so my grammar are prolly fucked. Anyway--

Inspiration: Guess who felt a little soft and decided to wear a skirt to work? Yup, that would be me. No, because I commute to work (or basically anywhere) and there is quite a distance of walking in between the journey. Note that your girl here walk fast asf (basically running at this point).  And because them inner thighs ain't got no gap between them, so i got myself some blisters/chafing :') then i fell into a self-deprecating despair for the whole day and it hurts whenever i walk, at that time i just want Bucky to kiss it better. Fast forward a few days later, here we are.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

She could feel it. His burning gaze following her every move. Observing, calculating. And she knew that must not show any signs of discomfort; not on her face nor from the slightest jolts of her hips. She must not gave him a reason to question her.

She can't.

So she continue walking around their room, back and forth from the bathroom to the wardrobe, as if every step she took was followed by a burning sensation on her skin. She momentarily stood in front of the row of clothes hanging on the rack, her back facing the bed where Bucky had been sprawling on since she went in for a shower.

Honestly, she was standing there suspiciously 'too long', as if she was choosing an outfit for a date night, when clearly she was just getting ready for bed. When she realized that, she quickly pulled out a clean set of pyjamas and walk back into the bathroom.

Bucky's eagle eyes followed her figure, disappearing behind the locked door. His lips pursed as his cogs of thoughts spins around, trying to find answer a question that his lover keeps avoiding but it was useless.

He can't think straight. Especially when he was undeniably famished. He had not got a taste of her his sweet pussy for about 2 weeks now and he was quite literally about lose his fucking mind. 

When his sweetgirl refuses to go further than kissing and making out, of course he obliged. She has every right to 'no' and he respects her wishes. Then it happened again the next day. And the next. Then again, and again. 

Normally, people would've assumed that maybe she was on her period, and she is not comfortable having any sexual intimacy when menstruating. But, Bucky can tell that, that was not it. Because first of all, it was way too early for that time of the month, he knows her schedule.l very well. Second of all, he would've smell the blood if she was on her period.

Most of his senses are enhanced after all.

So, why was she avoiding it?

Bucky's is completely fine if sex was not something she wanted to do, but not even letting him eat her out? Now that's concerning. At least for him.

Because he needs her. He needs to suck on that needy little clit of hers, make it wet and swollen. He needs to lap on that sweet juices when she cums on his tongue.

Fuck. He's getting all work up now, thinking about it.

He swore that if this keeps going on, one of these days he might just spread his legs and fuck his fist on their bed while she's tied on a chair on the other side of the room. Maybe forcing her; seducing her, to watch his desperate cock become wet and messy would give her a clue of what he is feeling now.

Absolutely needy and deprived of that pretty little cunt of hers.

He was quite distracted with the filfthy thoughts until he heard the clicking sound of the bathroom door unlocked.

As she walked towards the bed, Bucky felt like his lungs stopped providing oxygen through his body, "Pretty." His eyes sparkled affection as the voice in his head echoed his thoughts. It wasn't that he have not seen her in those pyjamas before, he had. Many times in fact. The very same lavender set with tiny little cartoon cats printed all over the fabric.

The same ones that she wore when she came rushing to his side on one of those sleepless night. The time when she hold him close, distracting him away from the nightmare by asking the most random question of "You know, Bucky... These cats supposedly have the same expression, except for one. Do want to try and find it?"

He found it. It was near the hem of her right sleeve. And by that time, his nightmare was no where near his mind, the next thing he knew, he fell right back to sleep with her in his arms. It was his favourite pair of pyjamas that she ever worn.  Nothing compares.

A loving smile unconsciously appeared on his face when his lady threw a sweet smile at him as she walked toward the bed, "My baby's so pretty." He thought.

The grin on his lips lasted, but not for long. Especially when he saw the tiny frown on her face, the faltered steps and when he heard that brief sound of a painful hiss slipped out of her lips.

So the moment she sat down on her side of the bed, Bucky already had his hands on her. Arms instantaneously wrapped around her waist, before effortlessly pulling her back onto his sturdy chest.

She giggled gleefully from his sudden rush of affection  and that surely managed to trigger a chuckle out of Bucky. He hums and proceed to purr in crook of her neck, "What's wrong, baby?"

She could feel his throat rumbling at the back of her neck, "Did he notice it?". Her heart beat ever so slightly picked up its' pace but she planned to act like opposite of it, "Hmm? What do mean 'what's wrong'?" She asked.

Bucky can hear the change tempo coming from within her ribcage, he knew something was wrong, "I just want to know how are you feeling."  He pressed a long and tender kiss on the shoulder.

The warmth of his breath tickled her skin, "Now? Hmm. I feel very loved." She smiled dreamily as she closes her eyes.

Bucky left out a brief laugh at her response, this cheeky little bunny, "That's true, but how are you really feeling, hmm? Like physically?" He urges softly.

She thought about it for awhile; contemplating whether she should just tell him the truth or proceed to act like she okay. Well, she chose the latter, "Hmmm physically. In this position? Very comfy." She wiggled her body back into him, closing the non-existent gap between their bodies and gripping Bucky's arms around her a little tight.

Though her plushy ass was rubbing against his crotch just nicely, but the former winter soldier was not going to let that distract him from his mission. He needs to know what she's hiding behind that sweet smile, "Doll..." his voice was stern and she knew he was not having it.

His calling was only met with silence when she didn't reply verbally. Since she was looking down, Bucky cannot see the frown on face and the wobbling worries in her eyes. But he did picked up on the anxiousness of her heart; beating faster by the second.

"I..." her voice cracked at the first word she said, and Bucky knew he fucked up. He swiftly maneuvered her body to sit on his lap, facing him. His metal hand craddled her soft cheek, and his flesh ones gently caresses her back, "Hey hey hey, doll, what's wrong? Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you." His voice was laced with panic.

When she only had her gaze down, Bucky tenderly coaxed her, "Bunny, look at me." His hand guided her by the chin and when they made eye contact, he apologized again, "I'm sorry. I just want you to feel better. Forgive me." He leaned in a planted a kiss on her forehead. Then, her nose. And her cheeks, all over her face, muttering his words of apology.

She felt bad that Bucky apologized for something that was clearly not his fault. She's the problem in this situation. Her negativity, her insecurity was what drove her away from Bucky for the past 2 weeks. She knew that. And she knew it wasn't fair to him.

Knowing Bucky, he's probably blaming himself for her actions. And she didn't want that. She decided to tell him the truth, "I just..." Anxiety runs through her veins when she thought about it again. Would she be able to handle it if Bucky reacted negatively to her truth? Probably, not. "Just... promise that you won't be disgusted by it... Or get the ick from it."

Bucky frowned in confusion, "I don't even know what 'get the ick' means but I promise." He swore.

She let out a short laugh at his comment, causing him to smile along. Seeing how loving his gaze was, it gave her the strength to confess. She started with explaining how she had been busy at work this month. With launch of the new product, and her being one of th product manager, she was obligated to visit the branches around New York.

Bucky listened to words attentively, at first he thought maybe she was trying to say that she's been stressed lately. But then she started to explained about how she had been wearing skirts to work most of the days, because it was one of the their campaign's rules and Bucky does not think that 'stress' was what this would conclude to.

Nevertheless, he didn't lose his attention.

"But basically what I'm trying to say is..." She took a deep breath before continuing, "It's just... My inner thighs are chafed..." her voice was barely audible at the end of the sentence but Bucky caught it perfectly.

He thought about it for awhile before asking, "So, you mean to say that you got blisters on your inner thighs?" He wanted to confirm that his understanding was accurate.

She looked down in shame as she nodded to his question.

Bucky responded by pulling her closer, and kissed her forehead, "Aww doll. Is this why you've been avoiding me? Because it hurts? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've helped you. I mean I could help apply some meds or--"

Horrified at the idea of him seeing marks; the literal reminder of how fat she is caused her to blurt, "No!" She pushed Bucky away, eyes widen in horrid.

"No?" Bucky frowned quizzically at her intense reaction.

Realizing what she just had just done,  she composed herself, and spoke, "It's... it's not a pretty sight. And I don't want to show it to you. Plus, if my thighs are a little thinner than they are now. Then, this wouldn't happen. If only these thighs are not like... fucking fat as they are we wouldn't have to go through this. And you wouldn't need to hear all this. You wouldn't---"

Bucky knew that once she was in the state of insecurity, she self-deprecate herself like she was less worthy than the goddesss that she is. So, instead of arguing with her, he simply intercepted her rambling, "Show me."

She stopped the seemingly endless word-vomit, and titled her head to the side, "Huh? No. Bucky I just said--"

Bucky grabbed her by the waist and effortlessly lifted her off his lap and onto the bed, caging her  below him, "And I said... Show. Me." His tone was more like an order rather than a request.

She didn't dare to defy him, when his gaze was as rigid as they were now, so pulled her pants off; slowly, reluctantly. When the pants was at the last inches before it's completely off, Bucky took control and quite literally ripped it off from her.

The sudden action resulted to her body needing to hide itself from his darken eyes. Her thighs clammed together as a whine slipped from her lips. The friction of her wounds brushing against each other was burning her delicate skin.

Bucky quickly softens when he heard her pained voice,  he pushed himself off from her and kneeled on the bed before her. "Doll, please..." His hands gently squeezes the side of her thighs as he pleads, "...Let me see."

Slowly spreading her thighs apart, Bucky's eyes are now focusing on the red marks on her skin. His thumbs absentmindedly traces the area around the broken skin. He was so concentrated that he didn't say a word. And that only triggered her insecurity that she started to rambled something about how she will start going in a diet and she'll add more intense leg workout in her routine.

But her voice was only a muffled strings of incoherent sounds in Bucky's ears when he finally processed everything that happened from 2 weeks ago until now.

The realization hit him like a high speed train with a broken break system. Did she really turned him down because of this? Did she really starve him out because of this? Bucky let out a growl of disapproval when he abruptly pulled her by her calves, forcing her hips to lift from the bed. She yelped in surprised but she saw the look on his face,  "You..." he rasped.

Bucky placed her legs on his shoulders, letting it daggle on his back as he palmed sides of her thighs. He then, proceed to leave trails of kiss on her inner thigh, avoiding the irritating wounds on her skin, "You deprived me of my sweet little pussy because you think this..." he flattened his tongue and nibble on her softness of her inner thighs, "...would turn me off? That these thick, soft thighs that I love so much would bother me?"

He planted a delicate kiss on the marks before, "Well, guess what bunny?. You're absolute wrong. In fact, it's quite the opposite." His lips travelled upwards until it found her core. Bucky's nose flared at the scent of her arousal, "And oh my sweet babydoll, I'm going to eat your pussy until understand that. Then, I'm gonna do it some more because I am fucking starving." He pressed a firm kiss on her clothed pussy, causing the cotton to soak the juices that leaks from her hole.

"Look at that. Does your needy pussy wants some pampering too, hmm?" She could see the lust dripping down his ocean blues; the same ones that were usually bright but now were now noticeably darker.

Bucky's finger traces the slit of her pussy, rubbing her over the fabric of her panties, making patch of wetness spread even more. "Yeah? Does she want me to kiss it better? Make her feel good?"

She moaned softly to his touch, "Please."

That was all it took for Bucky to rip her panties apart as if it was made out of paper.  "Fuck, there she is. My sweet pussy." He brought his fingers over, widened the folds of her pussy. Even with minimal lighting, it was enough to show him the glistening pink flesh of leaking cunt, twitching and needing his tongue to explore her insides.

He was hungry of course, just simply looking at her pussy had made his mouth water and impossible for him to resist the urge of putting his mouth on the pretty little thing. "Hmm,," a sharp cry escaped from her lips as he blew on her little twitching nub. There was this glint in his eyes as he watched her try to buck up, cunt helplessly clenching around nothing.

Before she could beg for him, Bucky's tongue dipped in between folds. Pointed at first, from the entrance of her pussy up to her clit. The tip of his tongue swirl around the aching nub. A breath caught in her throat when Bucky repeat the same move but this time he flattened his tongue.

And then he does it again and again.

Bucky, is generally the larger man compared to anyone. He is tall and beefy. But he is especially big when he's in between her legs, gently devouring her wet pussy. Slow and long licks were his favorite, it allowed him to savor the taste of her. Always so sweet and he couldn't get enough of it.

With every flick Bucky's tongue assulting to her swollen bud, she couldn’t help but pull on sheets behind her, needy moans leaves her lips every time he explored her, teases her. Her body cannot stay still when the pleasure was taking her higher. But it was not a problem for Bucky to control. Whenever she tries to close her thighs together, he stopped her. He didn't want to irritate her wounds or cause any pain, so he kept pushing her thigh open as he nuzzle his face into her pussy.

"Ahhh fuck ,, that feels so good, Bucky!" She moaned his name as the overwhelming feeling of his wet and soft tongue gliding and rubbing on her core, guiding her to heaven.

And the salacious squelching noises to fill the room as Bucky laps and sucks on her clit. She was so wet that he could just shove his fingers up in her hole but he didn't. He won't. After so many days not tasting her, he want to only use his mouth.

Though the man barely spoke during these times, he’d much rather keep his mouth occupied with drinking up her juices or suckling on her cute little clit. But when he does. Fuck. Does he spill the most unholy things.

Bucky momentarily detached himself from her and rasped, "Gonna cum, babydoll? Come on, give it to me. Let me drink and lick your cum after." His metal fingers quickly finds her clit, swiftly started to deliciously rub it; just the way he knew she liked it. It felt so good that her tongued lolled out her mouth out of pure pleasure.

"Yeah, bunny. You're gonna let me clean you up with tongue so nice, so that you can make the same mess again and again. Cum in mouth, babydoll. Cum for me"

He delved right back where is mouth belongs, licking her clit into his mouth just to wrap his lips around the pretty pink bundle of nerves sucking it harshly.  She whined needily her hips started to move on its own accord, searching for more friction of his tongue, “ahh ahh! hmmmm,, s-so fucking good! ahhh,, So close!” she was seeing stars in her hazy vision from how good and dirty she felt.

Bucky's eyes almost rolled back when let out a groan of satisaction against her spread out cunt; he can feel that she was going to cum and want her to do it with his mouth latched on her.

And cum she did, moments after she couldn’t help but squeal as her back arched from the bed, grinding herself on his tongue. Bucky growled at the streams of cream squirting out of her throbbing cunt right into his mouth, down to his throat.

So sweet and warm and addictive.

While her whole body was still shaking from the aftermath of the mindblowing orgasm, Bucky continued to lick and lap on her leaking pussy, slurping and suckling every bit of cream she had blessed him with.

Yet he was still hungry.

She mewled when Bucky started to suck on her clit again and when she looked over at him, he momentarily pulled away, "oh doll, did you forget? I'm not going to stop any time soon. So just lay there, look pretty for me and let me enjoy this sweet little pussy."

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Have you ever gotten your inner thighs chafed? Anyway, thanks for spending your time to reading my work! Leave your thoughts behind, I'd love to read them ♡

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes au #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky smut #bucky fluff #avenger!bucky #bucky x reader smut

[youremyheaven]

Random Astrology Observations

Moon in the 1h is often talked about like 🥺🥺wears their heart on their sleeve🥹🥹uwu softie way but tbh Moon in 1h can make someone incredibly manipulative, they know just what to say and when to say it and know how to work their audience, this is perhaps why this placement is found in the charts of soooo many successful actors. ex: Leonardo DiCaprio, Audrey Hepburn, Henry Cavill, Charlie Chaplin, Priyanka Chopra, Antonio Banderas, Brendan Fraser, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Padelecki, Val Kilmer, Adrien Brody etc

I think this is a very manipulative placement, again manipulation is not in and of itself a bad thing, its what we use it for that matters. Some people completely lack the ability to manipulate at all (they don't have Moon influence)

2. Debilitated placements point to unconventional intelligence & wisdom in that area. I feel like they've cracked the code . They struggle a lot but when they triumph it's magic

3. I've mentioned this in other posts but many notorious sex offenders have Venus influence. Actions of this sort, as well as criticizing others' beauty, not taking care of yourself/surroundings, being shabby or disorderly in general are all things that harm your Venus. Abusing someone is the quickest way to ruin your Venus, you start corroding and that ugliness begins to manifest on the outside.

Ex: Harvey Weinstein looks like a cartoonish villain

4. As I explore the astrology content put out by others across different platforms, I've seen how the nature of the take themselves are so specific and unique to the person making them. Claire Nakti has a tendency imo to focus heavily on romance, sex and women's sexual behaviour and what sort of men they attract.

Going through her website, it's obvious that she's deeply immersed in occult & esoteric philosophy (all of which ties together with vedic astrology, philosophy, Buddhism etc because I truly believe that spiritual truths are universal and different schools of thought/religion/culture/mythology express these same truths in their own way with a LOT of recurring patterns) and Carl Jung as well.

It's studying Jung that helped me understand that what we see or draw from something is a reflection of who we are. As a beginner to vedic astrology, I initially believed Claire's one dimensional portrayal to be the all encompassing truth of a nakshatra until I started doing my own reading and research.

The things I talk about or the patterns I find are a reflection of me and I get a lot of asks about why I don't do xyz nak and honestly it's not as simple as doing research for an essay for uni, you kind of have to have a gnosis or innate knowing of its themes, something to base your search off of. And different naks call to me at different points. I come across content that describes certain naks in lights i could've never imagined which is to say that gnosis or inner knowing is an important aspect of studying anything esoteric, it kind of has to be revealed to you and what you see, what you can discern is a reflection of you.

5. you have to have a strong Rahu to discern patterns and similarities because Rahu is maya/illusion and a well-placed Rahu will allow you to see through those patterns/illusions. it will be very hard for someone without a strong Rahu to find similarities or common tropes, patterns, themes etc. Seeing through the veil or fog is Rahuvian.

6. Claire Nakti made a video about Venusian men where she said they were the ideal type of man and tbh that just confirmed my suspicion that she's Moon dominant because I think Moon dominant people are attracted to Venusians but in my humble opinion both Venusian men and Moon dominant men are some of the most batshit crazy people (manipulative and controlling at the least, psychopathic at worst) basically men who have a lot of Yin tend to be psychotic

7. I've noticed that Revati people tend to speak in a very verbose way. Nigella Lawson, Revati Moon is a really good example. Obviously other placements will also impact speech

8. Moon dominant people hate it when others share sob stories. They're the type to have the least amount of empathy for others and will either react in a neutral way or like they don't understand why you're saying this stuff at all. They're bored by other people's mundane problems and make it known as well. Not people you want to open up to.

My former friend was this way, I once cried in front of her and she showed zero emotion and didn't even try to comfort me lol

9. The way others treat us is the way we treat others. ik this is a basic take but karma is cause and effect. if you're dismissive of others feelings, other people will be dismissive of yours. what you do is what will be done unto you. Its so crazy to see how people who've been treated like shit by their friends will turn around and treat other people like shit. this is sooo basic but genuinely dont do anything to others that you dont want done to you.

#astrology notes #astrology observations #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #astrology #sidereal astrology #astro notes #astro observations #vedic astrology #astroblr

[lemonflavoreddishsoap]

Can i request like la squadra and their s/o but they are the complete opposite of them?

Like Risotto is stoic and his s/o is emotional or Ghiaccio who is short tempered and his s/o is calm and very nice

ooh this is actually a very cool prompt to write - personality descriptions in prompts make writing feel way less daunting but I understand if readers may not like a less applicable reader. Oh well, gonna write anyways.

----------------------------------------------

Formaggio

You're finicky, on-edge, and I suppose a bit of a perfectionist(?)...maybe "control freak" is a better way to word it? Either way, you need things to go right, perfectly as you plan.

Not to say Formaggio is careless, but he does things on-the-go (you telling me he planned to jump into the sewers?) and doesn't mind if things get messy.

You two are each other's reasonable thoughts. If you think one of his ideas is too risky and need him to weigh the consequences he'll listen to you completely, and in return he opens you up to just...letting some things happen.

He eases your anxieties when they're excessive, but is beyond attracted to your work ethic and smarts. He'll hold your hands and listen to your every idea if you'll listen to his.

Illuso

Soft-spoken and definitely not a confident one, it's difficult for most people to look at you two and understand how you could've ever gotten together in the first place. Maybe you even have these doubts yourself.

But he never lets you feel those doubts for long. At first he honestly probably wasn't the nicest! But when you managed to capture his heart and hints of a connection began to show, he allowed himself to slow down a bit and really understand you. Care about you.

And when you feel anxious about the relationship, he always reminds you how much he loves you (take it sexually if you want, but I don't mean it like that). Just...only in the mirror world. Trust me, he's not embarrassed about loving you, it's just more comfortable for both of you. His image and your nerves.

In the privacy of his own safe world, he doesn't need to worry about how vulnerable he is, and he can praise and encourage you as much as you need. A moment for him to feel softer and you to feel stronger.

Prosciutto

You must be Pesci's twin or something - difference is he isn't as harsh with you. Sensitive and a follower, not a leader, maybe you feel security in Prosciutto's straightforward, no-nonsense demeanor.

Prosciutto is good at seeing the strengths in someone and raising their confidence as we see in canon, and he surely does it with you. He can see how gentle and well-meaning you are in everything you do and he reminds you of your greatness whenever you fear being "too soft"

In turn you offer the quiet he needs sometimes. He is relatively fine with spending a life alone, but a balance of peace and your company is better than he could've imagined. And don't worry about not being good at comforting others with words, he was never one to enjoy that kind of comfort anyways.

I don't know how else to end this section so....imagine him holding your hand :) DO IT NOW

Pesci

If someone were to describe you, they sure would call you brave, headstrong, and....maybe not the brightest? You aren't stupid! You just...aren't the smartest, and it's very clear. However, your open nature makes it easy for Pesci to talk to you.

You see the sides of Pesci that a lot of people take way too long to notice, like how observant and clever he can be. You don't see him as too soft, you know that he takes his job as seriously as he can.

While his meeker nature doesn't do much to dilute your chaos, he never feels bad about it! You're the light of his life, and honestly he really looks up to you!

If you want to stand up for him when his teammates pick on him, go ahead! I mean, the only thing you'll achieve is becoming their second target, but uh....maybe it's a bonding opportunity?? Even if nothing comes from it, he will love you forever.

Melone

What a fucking prude you are. A prude based on NOTHING. My goodness. Were you a sheltered child perhaps? Jokes aside it's a miracle you two can stand each other. Melone isn't picky with partners but someone like you? You're so incompatible at first that the gang assumed he had other plans for chasing you.

Emphasis on at first. Maybe you were a challenge to him, a "passion project" to see how much he could open you up one way or another. I can't say which ways it worked or not, that's for your own interpretation, but in time you became the most annoying couple the team had ever seen.

If you weren't teasing each other, you were bickering in a tease-y way. And if you weren't bickering, Melone was teaching you some sciencey shit in a voice so syrupy sweet that Ghiaccio's practically retching.

Maybe you try to flip the script, try to pick his brain and open him up like he tries to do to you; oh you're lucky he loves you so much, you're the one person he will do anything for.

Ghiaccio

Growing up the way he did, he learned that everything about him is wrong, and everyone is a threat at worst, liability at best. Even you, with your patient smile and kind words and....how you actually...listened to him rant.

He's scared of you, then pissed at you, then so confused by you he doesn't know what to do. If you didn't make the first move then a relationship just isn't happening. While he's the more assertive of you two, you'll have to do the heavy lifting just that once.

Falling for a person so different is easier, but maintaining the relationship is harder on his end, I'm not even going to lie. Sometimes he's frustrated by your unconditional love, sometimes there's a savior-like feeling he has about you, sometimes he fears these ever-changing feelings, and tried to distance himself from you. But you...always help him through it.

And don't think it's only you changing him, he also encourages you to stand up for yourself, to speak your mind, to put your own mask on first sometimes. (insert italian screaming)

Risotto

He's not emotionless, at least...he doesn't like to think so. But in this line of work he needs to keep a tight lip and blank stare. Something he's perfected. So when he watches you openly sob at a movie, curled against his body as you sniffle and choke, he doesn't get moved to the same extent.

Do you get to see Risotto's true emotions? Yes...in time. You've both got targets tattooed to your back, so if he ever thinks it's safe enough to get close to you to the point of being openly emotional, it's because you've spent several YEARS together.

But he understands you, he feels the same as you as you shout or grin or cry. Not only does he understand your emotions, but you may be secretly amplifying his own. There's no tears, but a tearing, clawing feeling in his heart. No smile, but a fuzz in his face that he can't clear out.

You are the ocean and he is a rock, standing strong through every storm and watching both the rage and the calm with equal admiration.

#i feel like when creating these reader personalities im mildly insulting these guys :sob: #i wrote that tag forever ago and realizing that sounds like an insult to the reader character too GDJGSFHD #NO BECAUSE THE MORE I WRITE THIS THE RUDER I AM TO THE READER. I HATE YOU ALL /j #by the way just in case. do not compare the reader to other members of la squadra. dont turn this into character x character ships. #it would make me incredibly uncomfortable. #formaggio x reader #formaggio #illuso x reader #illuso #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone x reader #melone #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto #risotto x reader #jjba #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #la squadra headcanons #la squadra

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Not a lot of variety in Hazbin Hotel

Another thing I dislike about Hazbin Hotel is the genuine lack of diversity.

With a setting like Hell you have the amazing opportunity to have characters from so many different time periods interact. With different fashion, different skills, different believes or upbringings it's incredibly easy to make characters that stand apart from eachother and create conflict (atleast it should be).

But with Vivzepops disinterest in making characters that even slightly stray away from the specific way she likes to write them, a lot of them end up blending together in how they act/look. Hazbin Hotel has this pretended diversity, where it seems like the cast should vary because on the surface they are very different, but in the show they blend together. This is because Vivzepop throws around different jobs, sexualities, nationalities, goals and inspirations for her characters, but never puts in the work to make them feel like it.

Sir Pentious, Alastor and Vox are all from different times, with different occupations. Sir Pentious was an inventor in the 1880s, Alastor was a radio host from the 1930s and Vox was a TV show host from 1950 (that's the era they died in). Yet they all wear very similar suits, just colour shifted. They all have shoulder pads, the same lapels, stripes and bowties. Alastor and Vox even wear the same pants and have the same shoes (atleast in shape).

Not to mention that in almost all of the designs there's that obnoxious red colour (especially with the red-black-white combination she just loves to put on her creations).

Even characters like Vox who seem like they have different colours (for him a mostly blue colour sceme) still have red accents and only very few characters are allowed designs without any red. Which is not that great since the background is also mostly red and it just hurts to look at sometimes.

Theres also all of the "typical" Vivzepop desing traits. Mostly sharp shapes and features, very slim bodies, sharp teeth, tophats, suits etc. A lot of her characters already blend together even though it doesnt make sense for them to. Would an inventor from the 1880s really dress the same as a TV show host from the 1950s?

Here I should mention that I don't mean blend together as in being completely indistinguishable from eachother but rather having too many similarities that it doesn't make sense for them to have.

As far as personality goes I do have to say that the characters are different enough in their basic chatacterizations. Vaggie especially was mostly refreshing because she acted as a voice of reason sort of and Charlie with her often naive (but very childish) attitude also stood out. But the devil is usually in the details.

I've heard people complain countless times about how pretty much the only continuous joke the show has is a character cursing, insulting others or making a sex joke. I get that cynical characters are sort of the appeal of HH but there's also just a lack of variety there for me. This is probably just a small nitpick here and something that is already done sometimes in the show, but there are different ways a person can be insulting and mean.

Like, for Husk it makes sense to be so up-front with being rude. He's a bartender and dealing with drunk people often requires being very clear and assertive.

But why does Angel never get to do anything else then directly talking about being sexy and making fun of others in such an obvious way. I think they wanted to give the appeal of him reading someone like a drag queen would but he just makes the same observations again and again and not in really clever ways (from what I remember!).

Alastor and Vox could've also been used better in the sense that atleast from what I know people in the entertainment industry (especially ones who do interviews or that stuff) won't directly tell someone that they don't like them. It's much more common for them to bring it up in small ways, like asking a question tied to an embarrassing topic to force the person into having to talk about that stuff.

Like I said this isn't really all too important though. What makes me more annoyed is the lack of diversity when it comes to the villains and how they're treated.

To me Viv has an issue with trying for every villain to play a more goofy role even though it doesn't always fit. Of course you can have "stupid" or silly and mostly funny villains but that shouldn't be every single one. When there are multiple villains in a show what makes them interesting is often how they differ from the others in their attitude and motivation and in HH we just don't really get that.

Sir pentious is never taken seriously as a threat and is mostly treated as incompetend, (I know he gets out of being the villain rather quick but even before that) Adam is just constantly portrayed as a dumb and irrational until we are supposed to take him seriously in the end. Vox doesn't do anything in the show apart from be kinda antagonistic towards Alastor and outside of that he is mainly also presented as being a fun villain rather than an intimidating one (very prominently in the song he has with Alastor where Alastor just completely bashes him at the end). Velvette also has nothing to do. Lucifer isn't treated as an antagonist (even though he should be in my opinion) and is shown to be just a "goofy and silly little guy" ig.

And apart from Valentino's genuinely terrifing scene he has with Angel Dust in episode four, he too is shown to be whiny, obnoxious and mostly dumb in his other scenes (this isn't helped by Viv pushing the idea that the Vee's are just like fun little saturday morning cartoon villains outside of the show). I guess Alastor is different in that regard kinda.

This plus the fact that outside of the characters who are obviously villains no one is allowed to be even slightly critical of Charlies idea without being presented as totally irrational, makes for no variety when it comes to the opposition in Hazbin Hotel. It's just kinda dissapointing to me that a show with this opportunity to create different characters gets stuck in the same conflicts and ideas over and over again.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #vivzepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #vivziepop

[channieandhisgoonsquad]

I'm in the mood for requests (and I hate Mondays) so

Surrogate au. MC is already pregnant and showing, and they haven't had intercourse since they found out, becoming frustrated as time passes.

When they go out, no one knows the nature of their relationship, and so MC is object of flirting and admiration from other men who notice how beautiful that pregnant lady looks and compliment her constantly. MC takes the praise gladly and feels flattered that she's still considered gorgeous in her state.

I wonder how the baby daddies would react...

Do with it what you want

Vrbcbrynfv tv d 👍🏻 roger that babe.

“Those are our babies in there...”

“Miss, you are glowing.” The younger man at the market had stopped y/n from focusing on the baby stuff that her, Minho, and Han had been looking at for the room. She was too kind to end the conversation with anyone, as the men had come to learn over the last year, and replied easily.

She was blushing, but that was to be expected when a man younger than herself complimented her in this state. And she was so sexually frustrated. She had been fucked daily multiple times by the men she was with, and now they won’t even kiss her now that she is with child. “I don’t feel it, but thank you. The babies are making me feel like a whale at this point.” She rubbed the big belly that held their babies. Reminding herself of what got her to this point; the gorgeous couple you were staying with.

Han looked over to his husband and saw how pissed he was becoming. They hadn’t told y/n anything, but the men spoke to each other of how protective they felt towards her.

“No way, miss. You are gorgeous. If anything, the belly makes you even more beautiful.” He was buttering her up so much. It seems he’s realized that she was here with a gay couple, thus she appeared to be fair game.

She looked over to the men as she stuttered, unable to find the right response as she became more amused and excited by the comments. “You’re too kind. Thank you for the sweet words.”

“If you don’t currently have a boyfriend, I would love to take you out some time?”

That was it. Minho couldn’t stop observing any longer. The sexual frustration of not fucking her for the last three months and watching this stranger trying to get to know her was overflowing.

“She’s actually with us. Those are our babies in there. So, she will not be going out with random boys on the street. But thank you for noticing how beautiful she is. Bye.”

Han and y/n both stood in place around the clothing rack with their mouths agape. Staring down the man they both cared for extremely. Both shocked that he actually said that in public, but not really at the same time. Han knew he was possessive of the babies and watching her like a hawk, but THIS was something new.

Y/n turned around to apologize but the younger man had already ran away with his tail between his legs. She was furious now. And that fury was coming out in the form of tears due to the wacky hormones, “Lee Minho. I don’t know what overcame you just now. But that was completely inappropriate.”

He rolled his eyes at your comment on the matter, trying to decide if it’s best to backtrack or say what’s on his mind. “You are with us technically. I will be damned if you are alone with a stranger while our babies are inside.”

“I was going to reject him myself. I’m here for you guys. You two are enough for me.”

The surprise was evident on Minhos face. Maybe he did overreact. Han spoke up, “You have every right to be upset. I’m so sorry he spoke over you like that. Let’s just go home, yeah?”

You agreed with him since you were unable to get a hold of your emotions. Han took your hand in his own and allowed Minho to follow behind them. They both needed a second to recover from his theatrics.

My favorite people: @sweetracha @2chopsticks2eyes @lyramundana @moonlightndaydreams

#welcome to the shitshow #Minho is possessive #stray kids #skz #han jisung #i love him #loml #lee know #hannie #lee minho #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids drabbles #lee know x reader #lee know x oc #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagines #han jisung x y/n #poly minsung #Minsung #i know nothing but minsung #minsung supporters

[djuvlipen]

If you came here to block me, especially if you're a Romani girl, PLEASE READ THIS FIRST.

Romani women are oppressed because of what we were born as: our biological sex.

Some Romani communities practice sex-selective abortions: when they learn a fetus is female, they abort it, because a girl is considered a burden. (x) "The birth of a daughter is quite a tragedy for a family, whilst the birth of a son, glossed metonymically as ‘birth of happiness’ (bucurie) is always an outstanding event (see also Gay y Blasco)." (x)

Romani women were sexually abused all throughout slavery. Assaulting Romani women was essential to slavery because it terrorized us into subjugation. It also allowed the slaveholder to control Romani women's reproductive abilities: birthing children meant more livestock for them. (x)

Romani women were shipped as slaves to American colonies to be bred with plantation slaves and, once again, increasing the number of slaves. (x)

During the Holocaust, Romani women were once again targeted by sexual violence, at higher rates than Romani men. Romani women were forced to serve in military brothels by the Romanian army allied with the Nazis (Anton Weiss-Wendt, The Nazi Genocide of the Roma). Romani women were also forced to serve in Nazi camp brothels (Sonja M. Hedgepeth, Rochelle G. Saidel (eds.), Sexual Violence Against Jewish Women During the Holocaust).

Romani women have had our reproductive rights threaten times and times again, we were sterilized in Sweden (x), in Hungary (x), and in Czechoslovakia (x) during the 20th century (not to even mention the forced sterilization of Romani women in Nazi camps).

Romani women are among the first victims of the sex trade in Europe, we are trafficked at alarming rates by our relatives, friends or strangers, Romani or not. (x)

Because we are female, we are impacted by racism in a way that Romani men aren't: Romani women are more likely to have complications and to die during pregnancy and labor. (x)

Biological sex is relevant, even essential, to studying and challenging violence against Romani women. In all these instances, a privileged sex group (males) oppressed another sex group (female Roma) to dominate us.

Sex is an observable fact and distinct from gender. Gender refers to a set of roles ascribed to one sex in one given society. Gender is enforced by violence. You are socialized into a specific gender, whether you want it or not. For the Roma who are born female, that means:

You are expected to marry a man. A man whom your family approves of. Some Romani communities practice arranged marriages for their daughters, some of them are not even adult yet (x). It's not racist to state this, Romani women deserve bodily autonomy just as much as White women.

You are expected to remain a virgin until you're married. This is once again enforced with violence: in Spain, Romani women insert a handkerchief with their finger in the vagina of the bride to make sure she's a virgin, lest the entire family is dishonoured. (x)

In traditional communities, you are expected to stay at home, cook, and clean for your husband. You are expected to respect a strict dress code.

If you disobey to those rules, if you don't dress modestly, if you are a lesbian, you can be beaten, shunned, excluded by your Romani community. This is something I've personally seen and of which testimonies are easy to find.

These gendered expectations are part of the reason why Romani women are hit more harshly than Romani men by structural anti-Romani racism:

Romani women are more likely not to complete education.

Romani women are more likely not to know how to read and write. (x)

Romani women are more likely to be unemployed. (x)

Gender non-conformity is strictly punished, because people have a fixed idea of what being a woman is, and they will punish you if you try to act otherwise. The solution to this is not to say that a Romani woman who wants to pursue a career, doesn't dress modestly, or date other women, is actually a man or non-binary. The solution is to fight gender roles and get rid of gender altogether. Radical feminism is about fighting for the rights of those born female (women) against the domination established by the privileged sex class (men). The way to do this is to dismantle gender roles.

Stating this is not transphobic in any capacity. If you want to call me a "transmisogynist" or a "fascist" and block me, I want you to think really hard on why you are so ready to silence Romani women fighting to end the sex-based oppression we suffer from, do you think you are really a good ally by doing this?

#roma #sex based oppression #radical feminism #radfems do interact #radfems please interact #radfems do touch #radfems please touch #romani #cultural misogyny #romani reproductive rights

[shouldiusemyname]

Episode 6 and Pisaeng's journey

I need to write about this because, first of all I am angry about this entire event. Second, as I said about Chot in Step by Step, I believe that we need to understand Pisaeng's angle to get the complete story. In order to get the other half (aka his mother), head over to @bengiyo for his post about Pisang's mom and the history of weaponizing the queer community against itself.

@biochemjess has touched on it a bit here in regards to how Pisaeng fits into the themes of rejection and acceptance in this show. and I would like to get into some details here.

Pisaeng's conversation with his mother sheds a complete new light about Pisaeng and everything that we've learned about him so far.

Apparently, Pisaeng is very clear about his sexuality. He has been clear about it since he was 15! So this:

This is not Pisaeng contemplating his emerging queerness. This is Pisaeng lamenting. This is pisaeng seeing what he could have had all this time. What his mother has taken away from him.

Which gives a whole new meaning to this:

Pisaeng is not lonely because he can't make a connection with others or finds it hard to make friends. He is lonely by choice. He is lonely because he is in the closet. He is lonely because his mother has isolated him from his own community leaving him no choice but to associate with Not and his band of toxic buffoons.

No one and nowhere is safe for pisaeng. His mother made sure of that. This is how you get people to internalize homophobia. Saying shit like "you can do or be whatever you want, just in the privacy of your own home, with no one knowing about it. Because, you see, I'm not the problem. I will love you and accept you. It's just that other people out there are not like me. They wouldn't understand you."

Pisaeng has been hearing this since he was a teenager. From a woman he trusted enough to talk to about his sexuality. This is some top tier gaslighting. As I see it, Pisaeng was ready to come out when he was younger, he is sure of who he is and confident in his sexuality. What's important to understand is that he was shoved deep deep into the closet by his mother who has gaslit him into seeing her as a safe space.

This is where Kawi and Max are game changers for Pisaeng. First, pisaeng sees Kawi as important enough to risk outing himself. I would guess that it's probably the first time he's allowing himself to want someone, hence this:

He wants this and he is ready to take the first step. I also feel like his decision to go into the gay bar is intended to signal to his mom that he is done with her bs. He knows she will hear about it. He makes sure she hears about it. He walks in and just stands there making sure he's seen.

Sure, he freaks out when he's approached by Max, but that's because he realizes that this actually might reach his mother and there's no turning back now.

Then, after doing some damage control with Max and making sure he isn't one of his mom's informants, he turns Max into his community. At this point, Max is the only queer community he gets to have because his mom has made sure that he knows she has eyes everywhere. While Pisaeng wants to let his mom know what he's been up to, he does want someone he can trust going forward. I don't remember if he knows Max and Kawi are friends, but I think he's betting on Max because he knows non of his mom's informants would have approached him. So basically, what I'm saying is that Pisaeng wasn't checking in with Max to make sure he won't tell on him, he's doing it because he wants to make sure that Max can be a safe space for him.

That's why Pisaeng reacts with a Face when he finds out that Max finds his mom interesting. I think it's disappointing to him especially since Max is an observant no-shit person, and Pisaeng was hoping he would be able to see past his mom's bs.

By the time his mother is back home, Pisaeng is ready. He has been expecting this and it shows in his reactions. He knows her tricks, he knows where she's going, and he isn't taking it anymore. He is blocking her every move even at breakfast when she tries to understand what exactly went on at night with Kawi. He is not letting her get anything anymore because he knows she will use it against him just like she did before.

So, to build on what @biochemjess was saying, Pisaeng's journey is about rejecting his mother (who represents so much of what keeps us hidden) and allowing himself to accept what being out can offer him.

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #pisaeng #thai bl

[silverity]

"science says that human beings are either female or male" science is a tool used and defined by humans (and the societies/cultures they live in) to interpret the world around them. claiming "x is objective fact because Science Says So" is an extremely lazy argument (& implies that there is just one singular belief to be drawn from whatever is being researched in the first place). what actual function does it serve to categorize humans into "male" and "female"? who benefits from the enforcement of "male" and "female" categories? what traits do we ascribe to these categories and why?

im not claiming science is completely objective. as you've said, cultural biases can affect the way things are interpreted and understood. women know this more than anyone with the way biological essentialism has been used to define us as physically inferior and solely in existence only to reproduce. i'm also Black, and well aware of scientific racism and the history of pseudoscience claiming we are racially inferior on account of our skulls. so you really don't have to tell me anything about this.

what isn't a product of the biases of human culture or human society, however, is that humans are either one of the two sexes or a rare variation of the two. science is empirical observation, and we have observed this to be true, not just in humans but in other mammalian species. it's not a product of human society if it exists and is observable in nature. our interpretation and understanding of the two sexes, however, is what can become distorted through biases or misinterpretation. a good example being how scientists determined sperm in fertilization "conquers" the egg, but modern studies suggest the egg is actually extremely selective, and entraps/pulls the sperm inside. right? nobody can disagree humans don't reproduce via eggs and sperm. it's the interpretation of the process of it that is affected by cultural bias— particularly the assumption that anything female is inherently passive, and anything male must be active/aggressive.

"what actual function does it serve to categorize humans into male and female?".

most radfems, and a lot of marxfems such as myself, support gender abolition. sex, in our view, is a neutral thing that exists in nature and need not say anything about how you should behave or of your role in society. it is only through the social imposition of gender (which radfems define as a system of hierarchy of males over females and everything that reinforces this, not an innate identity as trans people would say) and it's maintenance via the enforcement of "femininity" (infantilization, sexualisation, submission) for women and of "masculinity" (aggression, control, dominance) for men, that certain traits, roles, behaviours are assigned to men and women. natural sex and it's observation through science do not assign any traits to the sexes. since humans have evolved to become civilized social beings we are no longer ruled by our animal instincts or natural biology.

so in relation to your latter questions, i think we are probably in agreement? we both disagree with the current social order of the sexes, but we disagree about how to eradicate this. the pro-trans side argues in favour of gender identity and the irrelevance of sex. but this doesn't really do away with gender stereotypes, does it? it just allows a few to switch to the opposite side of the gender binary. and making sex irrelevant (though, interestingly, "gender affirming care" is completely about mimicking biological sex markers associated with your "gender identity", so that's rather contradictory) would serve only to invisibilize women's oppression, which unfortunately occurs on a sexual basis. if you disagree that women's oppression is rooted in how men have sought to control and police women's reproduction and sexuality, please read some radical or marxist feminist theory.

the radfem side argues that treating gender as an "identity" in the trans way naturalizes the traits ascribed to the sexes as innate qualities to the sexes. womanhood is femininity, such that any feminine man or man who prefers feminine forms of expression is really a woman. & manhood is masculinity, such that any masculine women or women who wear their hair short are really men. this idea of "gender identity" also tries to pretend women are only oppressed because we adhere to femininity, so it's our own fault for not simply "opting out" of femininity and womanhood as "trans men" do. and when "trans women" present as feminine, they are oppressed just as women are. neither are true, when masculine-presenting women still face female oppression (including "trans men") and femininity (worn by the "trans woman") is only demeaned because the female body it is assigned to is demeaned. "trans women" may experience oppression bc of their gender non-conformity as males but never female oppression nor anything of female experiences.

the radfem position is that you can dress however you want and express yourself however you want, but on the basis of your sex you are still either a man or a woman. man = male human, woman = female human, that's all these terms should mean. we should stop gendering the sexes, essentially. we think gender dysphoria (as in genuine distress over your natural sex and a disconnect with your physical body) is a condition resulting from the oppressive system of gender that restricts both women and men, and think people should receive treatment, not affirmation. there's no issue with gender non-conformity, and if anything radfems encourage gnc especially where femininity is concerned, only that it is harmful to insist your gender non-conformity as a man makes you a woman. men are not the default of the species and women are not non-men, we are not an identity for men to claim when they feel repressed by other men or the standards of masculinity.

intersex people are the only people who may be assigned the wrong sex at birth, and i realise this is probably a very complicated experience for them and so im not really interested in policing what intersex people consider themselves. but most intersex people can still be defined as either male or female in terms of their biology (and so male intersex people should not enter women's sports, for example). the language of "AFAB/AMAB" has been bastardized and taken from the intersex community and applied to people who are NOT in any way intersex. for the rest of us our sex is not wrongly assigned, it is correctly observed.

in an ideal world sex should not be important beyond healthcare, sports, and other instances where it is necessary to take into account the physical differences between men and women e.g. for the safety of passengers in vehicles, which is commonly tested using only larger male measurements. while we still live in a society where women are oppressed on the basis of sex, it is necessary to recognise sex in order to combat this exploitation and inequality, via safeguarding women and female children, providing safe single-sex spaces (something the UN describes as essential in ensuring women have a right to public life), opportunities for women to boost our representation and participation in society, policies aimed at assisting women in male-dominated careers and so on. this is essentially the same thing as recognising the reality of race and how non-white people face disadvantages and discrimination. just as it would not help Black people to invisibilize the social reality of race (note the SCOTUS has just struck down affirmative action on the basis of race) it would not help women to invisibilize sex, nor the sexual dynamics (the threat and reality of sexual assault, abuse, sexual exploitation) that exist between men and women.

#well i took the time to respond in good faith so i hope this answers your questions #feminism #marxist feminism #radical feminism #radblr #read silvia federici #marxism #liberation of all oppressed peoples #original posts

[irregularcollapse]

Okay okay okay I have been trying to think of a good question all day and I maybe have one? I really love the way you're writing Laurent's slow process of trusting Damen both physically and also emotionally. Can you talk about how you planned that out/how you decided to structure it? I am completely unfamiliar with either source material, but I love the fic!

I just still can't believe that people are reading this without knowing or being super invested in the source material 🥹🥹🥹 I seriously have no words for how that makes me feel.

This is an incredibly good question! I will answer under a cut because. This will be long.

(CW for discussion of the impact of CSA on a character)

Laurent's history of sexual trauma has shaped his attitudes toward sex and relationships in a way that is often seen in victims of CSA, which comes through quite clearly in the books despite them being told from Damen's perspective. What you've likely picked up on from the fic is that Laurent blames himself for what happened to him (and sees himself as sick/tainted/wrong because of it), that he has an ingrained shame response toward his own natural sexual desires, that he sees sex as an unequal exchange (only pleasurable for the "top"), that he sees certain sexual acts as humiliating or degrading, and also that due to both his trauma and his socially-assigned "role" in a sexual relationship (as he sees it - i.e. because of his looks, he would always be expected to take the submissive role) he would never be able to enjoy sex. His internalised slut-shaming and self-disgust are obviously triggered whenever he confronts the fact that what he wants is often what he has been conditioned to see as the most degrading thing.

It's all unintentionally compounded by Auguste's protectiveness as well, but that's a whole other discussion.

So what about Damen? Laurent has no reason to trust him, initially. But unlike in the books (where Damen actually killed Auguste, which is what then left Laurent exposed to his uncle) Damen is essentially a blank slate of a person to this Laurent. One thing Laurent prides himself on is being a shrewd judge of character: he is able to discern a person's motives quite well, and refuses to allow himself to be hoodwinked easily. This is as much an effect of his trauma as it is his natural intelligence and ruthlessness. As such, despite Laurent's trepidation, Damen gives him no reason to continue to distrust him.

He is honest and supportive, caring, respectful of Laurent's boundaries, and values Laurent's skills. It was really important to give multiple opportunities for Damen to show this, in various ways: each time he does something for Laurent (whether it be simply not touching him when he says not to, or being observant enough to know what will bring him comfort, or dramatically leaping to Laurent's physical defense) it proves something new about his worthiness - and it deliberately escalates! Although the flogging is a brutal physical sacrifice, the true sacrifice is the marriage proposal.

Not only does Laurent have no frame of reference for a man treating him this well, he has been living in his brother's shadow and (again, Auguste's protectiveness!) hasn't been given proper opportunity to prove himself. Damen treats him as an equal, as much as he can in the given circumstances.

In the books, this realisation comes quite late for Laurent (see previously mentioned brother-killing). But part of the inspiration behind this fic was wanting to explore Laurent being the fish-out-of-water, and to develop their relationship without the fraught history. With the obstacles removed, and with the power dynamic shifted slightly, I felt that their relationship would progress quicker, with less angst.

Basically, as much as Damen sees Laurent for who he is, Laurent - being a keen judge of character, being logical and rational - sees Damen for who he is. It turns out that who he is, is exactly Laurent's type. The initial physical attraction is then able to become emotional as the trust between them builds, despite Laurent not thinking he deserves it. The real development is in how Damen proves to him that he does deserve it. Yes, it's in how he helps and encourages Laurent to enjoy sex and to gradually shed his shame. But it's also in how he is so consistent in his respect (and reverence) for Laurent's autonomy and personhood - so much so that Laurent actually starts to believe in it himself.

What I can promise from things still to come is something I've started calling "character development through erotica" lmaooo like yes, we CAN and WILL use sex scenes to show character growth and healing!

Hopefully this was interesting! Thank you so much for the question ❤️❤️❤️ I loved answering it, stupid amounts.

(Apologies if there are typos, I am very physically wrecked and super tired today lol but I love this question sooooo much)

#captive prince fic #laurent of vere #captive prince fanfic #captive prince #lamen #asks #my writing #even in another time fic

[commsroom]

I'm really glad for all the love you've put into w359 fanworks. every time I see you post about it, my heart glows a little.

I'd originally felt that way while listening to the show, and your interpretation & vision feels so tightly knit to the source material. you even go farther in your explicit discussions about hera, her autonomy, her emotional depth, her treatment by other characters, and her arc as a trans allegory

totally understand why you might feel embarrassed, but I wanted you to know: thank you 💜

oh, that's so sweet of you to say!! i'm honored you think so.

i genuinely think there's a case to be made that eiffel/hera is as canon as the parameters for romance in wolf 359 allow it to be. like: gabriel urbina's policy was always "never confirm or deny 'on-screen' romance unless absolutely necessary" and from the AMAs we know they at least discussed it with regard to eiffel and hera, though we'll never know how that conversation went. it's not really a secret that sarah shachat and zach valenti, at least, viewed it that way. i still think about zach saying (paraphrased) that he thinks his non-answer is an answer, because if he didn't ship them, he could just say so.

and that's kind of how i feel about eiffel/hera within canon. like. anybody at all familiar with shows the wolf 359 writers like (especially things like btvs and farscape) can tell you there are plenty of scenes that mirror and meta-textually reference scenes from other shows. both gabriel urbina and sarah shachat were huge fans of the new doctor who, and whatever you believe the intent was, i find it hard to believe they didn't at least know they were evoking "if it's my last chance to say it, rose tyler, i-" with "and hera. hera, i-" it's what isn't said, the fact it has to be left unsaid, that speaks the loudest.

and anyway, talking about hera and romance / sexuality is especially interesting to me because it's not a given for her. it's not assumed to be something she should want or can have, and the way that intersects with her canon disability and with readings of her as a trans woman re: autonomy and desirability is very interesting (and very personal) to me, especially in the broader context of stories about AI women. but that's a topic for another post.

it's not a new observation by any means, but i think there can be a tendency to treat romance as separate from character analysis, and that's always sat poorly with me. romance isn't unique in either a good or a bad way, it's just... one type of relationship people can have. i think a lot about the unique approach wolf 359 has to romance because, while i understand why a lot of people would find the lack of romantic subplots refreshing, the characters aren't written to be intentionally disinterested in sex or romance (in some cases, textually... the opposite, even), so much as the writing carefully skirts around it. and... i don't know! there's something fascinating there.

obviously, i think you can recognize what's important about eiffel and hera's relationship (that it's the most equal one hera has ever had, that he has no real hierarchy over her or expectations for her other than companionship, how they share values and mutually support each other, etc.) without needing that to be romantic. and i think you can even acknowledge there's some degree of romantic intent without being invested like i am or "shipping" them. but i do think there's some intent there, and i think the the themes of the show can be expanded in some interesting ways to explore that beyond the intentional ambiguity of it. if you want to.

i would also never deny having an emotional bias here!! complete objectivity is never possible because we always bring parts of ourselves to our interpretations of art, and that's only amplified by how close to my heart wolf 359 is as a story. but i do really want to communicate, to the best of my ability, how much love i have for the show and how much thought i put into it. and i definitely don't mind being known for my love of eiffel/hera; they're my favorite characters from anything ever, both individually and together. but i do get kinda embarrassed when i talk about them too much, because it's not that i don't have plenty of thoughts about every other character and aspect of the show, it's just... that they are close to my heart in a particular way. anyway. i really appreciate it, thank you!!

#this still isn't worded as well as i'd like but i can't rework it any shorter without losing something. i hope it's clear enough what i mean #like in my mind eiffel/hera is functionally a canon romance but an unresolved one and i find that very compelling #fwiw i do not think gabriel urbina perceives it that way (nor would he ever say even if he did) but like. in the context wolf 359 created #i am sure he was aware of how that would come across. #anyway. remember how that one track on the ost used to be named 'eiffel and hera' and gabriel described it as the show's tenderness theme #and said their relationship became what that song guided his understanding of it to be. beats my head against the wall. #... you just got a bunch of thoughts that were on my mind and i apologize but i do appreciate it very very much #this was such a kind thing for you to say #asks

[leggerefiore]

assistant reader calling ceo ingo "boss" to coax him to bed 🤔

cw: sexual implications, CEO au, short

---

You knew Ingo was a man who would entirely and solely dedicate himself to work if he could. He and his brother had not been given their positions without first proving themselves, after all. The stories of their long nights where they basically lived in their office for days to see projects to completion were quite haunting. In fact, you had been there as just their assistant for a period in which they did just that.

Which is why when you observed Ingo falling into a pattern of working even after coming home. Late into the night, you watched as he endlessly tapped away at his computer, making calls, and scribbling on sheets of paper. Ingo was dedicated to his job. It was obvious to anyone who knew him. You felt frustrated, however. He was tired and overworked. The twin would never acknowledge it himself, but you were one of a few people that could easily read him. You placed your hands on your hip as you watched him finish another call. As the phone was put down, you walked in.

“Ingo,” you were going to try directly at first, “You need to get some sleep.” Your hand came to hold his shoulder, where the silken fabric of his robe was soft to the touch. His eyes snapped to you as he blinked a few times.

“Ah… Dearest, I am deeply sorry, but I need to finish this soon,” he motioned to the incomprehensible information on his computer, “I'll be in bed after, I promise. Don't let me keep you up.” You frowned as he tried to turn back to the computer. He was not getting off that easily. Another approach would be required, it seemed. You knew how he tended to hold himself away until it became obvious how he was effecting those he cared about, so an easy plan entered your head.

Turning his chair around, you boldly sat in his lap. Ingo stuttered for a moment by your sudden actions, but you barely gave him time to form a repose before pressing your chest against his and gazing up at him desperately. “Boss,” you cooed at him, “You've been ignoring me…” His Adam's apple bobbed while he watched you. Your warmth and weight soaked right into him. The slight sadness and worry in your eyes killed him instantly.

Bravely, he wrapped his arms around you. The gears in his brain were clearly turning as you waited for him to come to a conclusion. Then, he pressed a light kiss to your lips. “Alright,” Ingo relented, “I'm done for the night.” You grinned. The mood suddenly took a shift when he grabbed at your ass. “… I've made you feel ignored,” a rare fire burned in his eyes, “Please, dearest, allow me to amend that once.”

Sadly, there was still little sleep that night for Ingo.

#ingo x reader #ingo/reader #pokemon ingo x reader #ingo.ima

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I find myself questioning why I'm still bothered and how I let it get to me the lack of nuance in fandom discourse. Especially with K-Pop and everything I've witnessed in the last 3 years. The bigger the fandom, the less chances for it to be cohesive and attract a specific demographic able to participate in a certain high level of discourse.

I remember a few years back I was lurking in the Black Sails community here on tumblr. I was usually someone who would read the weekly reviews to tv episodes and that would be enough. In the case of that series, it didn't feel enough because to me, the reviewers were missing or ignoring the complexity of that show. And to my surprise (although it shouldn't), the fandom on tumblr was one of the best I had the chance to observe. There was dedication, yes, but more than that, smart people were writing these amazing essays and analysis worth of getting published in established journals. Well beyond a simple review. They were media literate, which is something that gets lost more and more as time passes.

Of course I don't expect that same thing in a fandom like Army. They can barely be compared. Army is way, way larger. It covers a wide demographic which is good and bad simultaneously. Theoretically, there's a place for everyone, regardless of their identity/background. So in cases like that, people tend to choose their own corner, subsection depending on where they fit and their interest. Perhaps a teenager is more likely to spend time on tiktok making edits and looking at clips, without following each and every type of content out there. Because they don't have to. Fans using weverse are also their own category that exhibit a specific type of mentality. Twitter and tumblr are places that offer the platform for a more discussion-type of engagement, with twitter taking the first place.

So, we find our community and that's supposed to allow fans to live in harmony. I know, funny. It's never like that because we like to peak and invite ourselves in other spaces. And the places can easily become echo chambers. But what is interesting to note is observing what the fandom deems as an echo chamber. A solo stan account or a shipper is an echo chamber, but an account focused on the group as a whole and only their achievements and updates is not. It doesn't matter that the user feigns ignorance when confronted with weird hashtags trending because they had no idea. They curate their experience. It's perfectly valid, but the danger of creating/becoming part of echo chambers happens to all of us, regardless of our type of engagement. The longer we sit comfortably in our corner, talking to people who are of the same opinion as ours, the greater the risk.

Nevertheless, there is still this need of showing one's superiority based on the type of subsection of the fandom we are part of. Which automatically fails because it shows our ignorance and getting to what I wanted to talk about, the incapability of engaging in a nuanced discussion. Of course this is not something that we should expect from everyone. Like I said, we need to know our "audience". I won't go to the weverse/IG pages wanting to talk about Asian fetishization in kpop fandoms. It would be pointless. But we do touch on those types of topics on twitter and tumblr. Which is why I don't find it completely absurd to have expectations.

Shipping within the fandom has once again been under fire today, more than usual. And it showed, as each and every time, that there is simply no bridge, no way of finding a common language, of willingness to have that nuanced conversation without resorting to generalized statements. The result of that usually creates more harm, divides the communities even more and sweeps under the rug the normalization of a specific type of shippers who transform mentions of sexual assault into a weapon to attack and offend. As serious as this is for people who are not online 24/7 in fandoms, it has indeed become the norm for those who are part of it. So then why we ignore it? Why do we generalize it instead of addressing the exact person or community who does it regularly? Because it's the crazy part of the fandom and those who are not part of it consider themselves to be better than others. Feeling superior is the ultimate goal. In a fandom of millions, we all try to differentiate ourselves in one way or another. And that leads to our fandom identity and automatically our position towards issues within the larger community. Being for or against, wanting to engage or not, is sending a message. It's always more about us than the people or content we talk about.

I know I haven't touched on 1% of what this topic should cover, but these are just some thoughts. We can't all be the smartest and better than everyone else when we are completely fixated in some beliefs that come to exist based on how much we want to use our intelectual abilities or simply refuse to.

#m thoughts #bts #army #bts shipping #shipping discourse #fandom discourse

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hey! I was just wondering what your thoughts on Janeway x Seven were? (Love your content btw, it makes me happy)

Janeway/Seven Aesthetics, Themes: God & Her Angel. Creator and Creation -> Monster Movie, It's Alive!, Works of Art. Overbearing expectation. Overwhelming conditional love. "I'd die for you, I'd do anything for you" and meaning it. Requited but Unconsummated love (to 'consummate' here has no sexual connotation but a sense of being 'complete'). Unexpressed but constant pressure. Biting the hand that feeds you. Being keenly observed. A Certain Type of Control being mistaken for care. "I know what's best for you". The lofty and the ungraspable. Teacher/Student. Ant vs Machine. Sad old timey people in photographs standing too far away to see their faces. Telling someone to 'run' while holding the scruff of their neck. Womanhood and Personhood as idealized concepts. Womanhood and Personhood as performance. Hypocrisy. Benevolent[?] Gods are still Gods in the end. Idealization of the other until they can only disappoint or awe you <- Inability to truly see eye-to-eye. Mother/Father Issues. Power Imbalance. Victorian era. The 20's. Perfection and the yearning for it. It's difficult to love someone who means and is so much to you. Who is no longer another person but a complex web of identities that sometimes clash or contradict one another.

I like Janeway/Seven but only in a very specific way! I feel like most of the ways I see it are too boring for me personally to be invested. In my mind it's a relationship that would never actually come to pass (Janeway would ultimately not allow it even if she encouraged it - mixed signals) but which would take up a large portion of both of their minds and lives. Janeway is Everything to Seven. She's her worst enemy and the love of her life and she killed her and she gave her new life and she's the reason for all her suffering, all her joy. Infuriating and exhilarating. Deeply confusing. Janeway meanwhile sees Seven as a poor little thing, as dangerous, as a work of art, as herself, as something that can be MORE than what she is now, as an attractive woman, a child, her friend, her subordinate, a concept, an ingenue, a genius etc. Are you trying to make me A woman or Your woman? Am I a human before that? Am I a person first or your subordinate first? If you're nothing like the Borg why does this feel so familiar? [Receiving orders and carrying them out, bending to your will eventually even if we bicker beforehand.] "You're free to do what you want, Seven." [Within reason.] "You don't have to obey anyone, Seven." [Except me.] "This is your life, Seven. Your identity to do what you want with." [Except when I don't agree.] Seven: I don't want this. Janeway: You don't know what you want. Seven: I don't like this. Janeway: You will, eventually. Seven: What if I want to do something else? Janeway: You won't. It's what you are, don't resist it. / Resistance is futile. Janeway says that Seven can do as she pleases but as the captain of a starship she cannot actually allow that. And as a person who has a history of strong moral opinions on what is right and wrong (and a further history of asserting these opinions as factual, rules, and to be adhered to by others) she probably wouldn't have been the best person to explore one's humanity with even if they had been equals in regards to rank. I don't mean to make Janeway a villain in saying this, I earnestly think it's a very interesting facet of her personality. Flaws build character and Janeway has a tendency to impose very high standards for herself and those around her. Whatever Seven did and does would be taken by Janeway as a reflection of herself in my mind. Seven the person exists because Janeway gave her life, after all. This is inescapable v_v No matter how far Seven strays from Janeway's original vision of/for her - she will always be in the shadow of it. It's a debt that can never be repaid and not because Janeway desires to hold it above her head (she explicitly would NOT) - it's just the nature of the thing. The situation might not be ideal but damn sure someone or something's gonna be idealized. So conclusion I very much like Seven/Janeway but only in a specific way which makes most content for it not really my thing..hEHEHE. The worst predicament.

#THANK YOU VERY MUCH~!!!! #Q&A #kind anon #I hope thismakes you happy too!!! Sorry I am like this!! #Janeway/Seven #the line 'I think you're punishing me because I don't think the way you do. I'm not becoming more like you.' #coupled with Janeways lack of response to it.......C'MOOOOONNNN AAAAAAAA~!!! /pos #I love kinda toxic dark and complicated relationships in fiction...they are so interesting and fun to explore #also y'allre gonna have to right click open image in new tab this one sorry v_v #star trek relationship aesthetic

[nullbutler]

RESULTS:

Disturbing Yourself For Fun SURVEY This survey ran from December 28th to January 19th. It received 59 responses. Well done! Thank you so much everyone who participated.

I'll show the results now, and then I'll discuss them down below. Some biases that should be noted: I don't have an audience of proshippers. There may be a slight bias in the direction of the people who typically follow my blog. However, judging by the results, I think someone outside of my circle brought it into a few other circles, because the results are varied. What sorts of disturbing scenarios did children play? (this question allowed multiple answers) I'm sorry i used the word 'de-limbing instead of amputation'

The two most common results were stories about depression, as well as stories about being abandoned. Similarly, romantic manipulation and child neglect were very popular. Even the most uncommon results were still about 20%, making them fairly common and likely.

Were you ever uncomfortable playing? (the most common answer was some form of yes)

How old were you when you were first self-aware of the discomfort? (most common was 1st-2nd grade, second most was 3rd-6th)

How did you get into writing disturbing scenarios?

(The one that got 0 was "i realized a lot of things during the MeToo movement, which is one no one selected, but applies to me, but I didn't take my own survey sobs)

The most common results were either that it was in a book or in a fanfiction, second only to 'something disturbing happened in a show.' Real life trauma was also a massive contributing factor.

Did disturbing stories ever make you feel comfortable?

They say disturbing things comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted...

My biggest theory of this project is "is disturbing content addictive" and to that, I can safely say, yes. Yes, it is.

The most common results were thoughts of "I shouldn't be doing this," "someone is watching me do this" and "I guess I'm just weird." However, 19% noted that it was having an impact on their trauma, and 22.4% observed that they had felt guilty over it.

The most driving force of disturbing content was, expectedly, curiosity. Children are curious. However, it should be noted that 30.2% wished that someone would acknowledge what they were doing and talk to them about it. 24.5% also acknowledged the recognition "This happened to me. Only my toys know."

Once again, I'm so sorry for all the cropping issues only providing half of the question. I completely understand that that's annoying to look through. You're welcome to take the survey if you want to, to see the questions better. I'm still leaving it open, now that my 'study' is complete:

Let's talk about fandom spaces.

Do you read disturbing fanfiction (I had to remove the visual because of the issues with the survey)

No, I don't read fanfiction: 1.7%

I do not read fanfiction that disturbs me: 3.4%

Yes, I have intentionally sought out disturbing fanfiction expecting to be disturbed: 62.7%

Yes, I have intentionally sought out disturbing fanfiction thinking "I can handle it" and was wrong: 39%

Someone I trusted showed me disturbing fanfic and it disturbed me: 3.4%

Yes. I enjoy being disturbed by high quality writing: 54.2%

I enjoy being disturbed by crack and bizarre stories: 18.6%

I find disturbing stories sexually appealing: 25.4%

I would like to imagine the 0 is the result of people being entirely truthful.

Around 50/50 of people are either morally conscious or physically conscious about certain kinds of vaguely described illegal/dangerous disturbing content. However, 13 out of 57 (22%) claimed true for both, 20 out of 57 (35%) claimed true for neither, and 23 out of 57 (40%) chose at least 1.

Adults more frequently ask the question, "What if I'm sexually into this?" They also tend to be more uncomfortable than children are when approaching disturbing topics.

squinting at the typos People also shared a lot of very personal stories. While I won't include excerpts from those, just know, I read every one of them and took the responses to heart. Thank you for your vulnerability.

CONCLUSION

I think it's really really telling that fiction is an outlet for people to express their fears and curiosities. After all, there is no one you can hurt inside fiction. However, the prevalence of it on the internet has been a lot of people's first exposure to graphic, violent, and sexual content. I'm not saying this with any intention, only to emphasize that this is the culture of the internet that we have been put into. That's the way it is, and when people are scared by something, especially when they are a child, they play with it so it becomes less frightening. This survey was just made for the express purpose of solidifying and acknowledging that fact.

There is nothing shameful about the way someone plays with their toys, but this survey has also demonstrated that violent, cruel play can lead to addiction and habituation of that play. It can be hard to find mundane things exciting when graphic and disturbing things are much more so. This is the process of desensitization. Just something to be aware of.

Personal experience: I'm someone who is very obsessive about my own morality. I'm someone who, when I was like 11, thought I was a bad evil irredeemable person because I used to make my warrior cat toys get pregnant??? Lmao... I'm not kidding. That's what that was. The degree of shame and self disgust was completely unreasonable.

And then, when I was 17, I tried to just let it all go. Basically acknowledge the idea that 'nothing in fiction really matters, go fucking wild.' And I did, and even though I got some sort of assurance from that scared 11 year old playing warrior cats, I was still looking at things that no matter how desensitized I was, horrified me. Horrified me. Made it very difficult for me to write stories that didn't involve horrifying elements. It was very hard to get my mind out of that place where the only sort of entertainment was the kind you could get through making yourself feel heart poundingly sick. Those stories have always been the easier ones for me to write.

There's no real point to this personal message, just that after all was said and done, I tried to focus on more wholesome things. And then, college hit. I prefaced this with "I'm psych student!" but I ended the study not as one anymore. I dropped out. I got really into Fear & Hunger and Kaze to ki no Uta as well as other disturbing shows. There is comfort in that.

I think, at the end of the day, to those people who can rotate their blorbo around in their heads, that's a form of playing!

Here are some interesting studies about playing:

#apologies for the unprofessionalism #i just wanted to get this thing done #long post #fiction

[lost-harts]

The Destruction of Creation: How bobbin lace versus machines relates to digital art versus AI

This is something that is completely my own opinion, no real research has been done, just observation. I, as a whole system, have been thinking about this for a while and just needed to get these thoughts out.

In the back end of September 2023, I began to learn a skill I've wanted to learn for over a decade, lacemaking. It's one of those hobbies that is always on the edge of dying out, but there's always resurgences and weirdos like me making sure it keeps its head above water.

To some lace is something ugly, for old grannies and yellowing curtains in old houses. To others lace is only for the romantic and sexual moments in their life, a wedding dress and lingerie. But most people can agree, it's a bit old fashioned and not for the every day. I thought a lot of lace was ugly myself when I was young, but then I saw antique bobbin made lace and suddenly I could see what people wanted really. The beauty of fine lines building up something like an eternal snowflake.

When I had an income I used to commission artists fairly frequently, but one sort of artist I couldn't afford to ever commission were those with the highly detailed, beautifully shaded, realistic backgrounded art. Theirs was around £300 and rightly so with the hours of work they would spend on each piece and the years of honing that skill beforehand. But these pieces of art were wanted and some people when they can't bear to part with money, or an appropriate amount of money, will spend their time instead working out work arounds.

In the 18th and 19th centuries lace was found all over clothing, especially clothes for the upper classes. But as industrialisation thundered ever louder in the 19th century and the middle class became truly distinct, they wanted this lace for themselves to appear more like richer folk, but also to adorn more numerous items of clothing that factories allowed one person to own. And so it becomes, why pay a village woman to take a good couple of months on your lace collar when we have machines and factory workers now that can make the rest of the outfit in days? Surely a machine can be made that will do it quicker and require less money? And yes they could. These machines very quickly became the main way people would get lace, especially Bedfordshire and Bucks Point style laces.

But people adapted, learnt how to make quicker simpler, less impressive lace that was still pretty, known as torchon lace. They fended off the machines for a good thirty years too, the machine makers unable for those thirty years to get machines to copy torchon lace correctly and quickly. They jammed and tangled, causing more trouble than it was worth in the eyes of factory owners. But come the 1870s, lace making machines had 'improved', making torchon lace also and a skilled art quickly began to fade.

I see this in artist communities I'm a part of too. Digital artists discussing how to imprint their art with un-copy-able code, make the AI falter and spend longer to make something worse. I've seen other artists saying they are dropping their hyper realistic art styles though, so they can be quicker and lower their prices so people will still commission them maybe? Trying to remove a distance between arguing with AI through prompts and reprompts to get sort of the picture you want for free and paying a human who you can clearly describe what you want and pay them. It truly is the same story happening once again.

But the most sickening thing for me is my thoughts on the hyper realistic art style. I had been on DeviantArt since I was 12, I loved this sort of art, seeing book characters, anime characters bounding about, leaping through the air, hair flapping and clothes swishing about with gorgeous lighting.

So much time and skill and learning went into getting there. I know this really. But now, I have to catch myself when I see art in this style because my first thought is 'Oh, AI rubbish is getting better with hands'. Art, that is beautiful, just on the off chance it is cheaply or freely made without skill, is rubbish. Put in the bin and discarded. That doesn't mean I think we should admire AI art. We should hate it for what it is, the machine that snatches food, ideas, skills and artistry from people, just as machines did over a hundred years ago. It really sickens me.

Because I know people began to think the same thing about lace. It became tacky, nothing special, rubbish. Something that was once an asset just like jewellery, trod into the dirt because everyone could have it now as it was churned out by machines. But hundreds of years of skills were stolen by those machines. Those machines and inventors couldn't come up whole cloth with those lace designs. They needed the lace makers to even exist.

I have no real conclusions other than, please don't let AI art make you hate an art style just because it steals from it. And maybe people should like lace more, especially bobbin made lace like I'm learning to make.

#fuck ai art #anti ai art #ai art is art theft #bobbin lace #lace #textiles #fibre arts #textiles history #costume history #clothing history #thoughts from the hart

[neuroticbookworm]

La Pluie: Maybe we will get a 'happy ending' after all

Now that I have slept on episode 7, read some amazing meta, and tossed my thoughts around in my head for a few days, I want to add my two cents.

I've previously written about my fear that this show might not give us a satisfying ending. I followed that train of thought and realised that my main concern before episode 7 was that since the show is so good at arguing against its own soulmate trope, in order to give us a happy ending, it would have to either compromise on the characters' journey (Lomfon doing a 180 all of a sudden with no convincing explanation) or the narrative (maybe soulmates are meant for each other, sike!).

(do these insane projections say more about my own insecurities than the show's cracks in the writing? Yes, yes it does)

Episode 7 felt tangibly different than the previous La Pluie episodes because, while the show has subverted tropes before, this is the first time it has fully and deliberately sidestepped the audience's expectations. We were all braced for a Lomfon-shaped ticking bomb to blow up Patts and Tai's relationship, and yet all we got was a meek temper tantrum at the breakfast table that was promptly ignored by Patts and Tai. We also saw Lomfon talk about soulmates with Tien. It was something Tien said to Lomfon here that made me wonder if the show was bringing yet another condition of modern romance into its soulmates subtext: Loneliness and Self-Isolation.

(Read more about trope subversion in La Pluie episode 7 here, by @lurkingshan)

For a show that completely hinges on the soulmate trope, it does very little to actually engage in the specifics of it. The lack of details around the concept of soulmates in Rainverse is pretty nifty, as many subtexts can be layered on top of one another like a decadant cake. I've previously explored the subtext of boundaries and shared experiences in a romantic relationship. @sunshinechay has wondered how platonic love, romantic love, and sexual desire can fit into the Rainverse and its possible combinations of soulmate pairs. @bengiyo has put forth the theory that the reason for Tai's parents' separation and eventual divorce might be his sexuality/queerness.

Allow me to add another layer to the subtext cake: insecurities around romance, fuelled by societal expectations.

What do people who do not have rain-induced hearing loss really think about soulmates? Does it create a hierarchy, as some love is "more destined" than others, and is therefore more special? Not all who have hearing loss end up having a soulmate, so does that mean that they might feel not "worthy enough" for a love that is destined, written in the stars? What happens when someone with hearing loss chooses to defy destiny and date someone without hearing loss? Will their partner always feel like the second best, comparing themselves to phantom perfection?

Even after we remove the soulmate trope from the above questions, the sentiment is still eerily familiar. These are the same questions those of us who have had the misfortune of experiencing the modern dating culture have tortured ourselves with, time and again. Am I worthy of love? Is my love special, or is it too replacable? Will I ever measure up to their ex, who everybody thinks was the "love of their life"?

Dealing with these insecurities and building up the courage to take a leap of faith in the hopes that you will land in a happy relationship is a universal experience. Sometimes we have the strength to do it, but oftentimes we don't. And when we don't, self-isolation is the answer. Lock ourselves up away from every and all human beings, and live life with the least human contact possible.

In Rainverse, this loneliness is taken from real-life abstraction and elevated to something concrete and observable: the isolation of people who have hearing loss but don't have a soulmate.

Tai was self-isolating himself after his parents' divorce, and his friends and family know it. Whenever we see a character implore Saengtai to reconsider talking to his soulmate, they never directly tell him that the soulmate connection is perfect and he is guaranteed to find happiness if he reaches out.

Here's Tien doing it all the way back in episode 1

And here's Bow in episode 2

If we tie in Lomfon's argument that the concept of soulmates is simply a coincidence, then this process of "opening his heart" and "talking to him first" sounds an awful lot like... dating. Just plain old dating someone after a chance encounter, with all the insecurities, arguments, and compromises. Well, ain't that a neat little trick?

Another reason why episode 7 felt so different from the previous episodes was the misunderstanding trope at the end, and how out of place it felt in a show that was setting itself apart from other BLs with sharp and smart writing. I also instinctively thought that this was a bad writing choice, but @ginnymoonbeam's excellent theory on how the show might subvert the misunderstanding trope and rather explore Tai's insecurities around his relationship with Patts has convinced me. It also allows me to segue into Tai's potential big bad question: What if it doesn't work out?

Tai is a romantic at heart, and his attitude around his parents' divorce has shown us that he is also an all-or-nothing romantic. He believes that a love that has the possibility of ending is not love at all. This sentiment is evident in episode 6, when Tai is talking to Patts about Doi Mae Plieng and about his dad proposing to his mom at the top of the mountain

I believe this will be the main arc for Patts and Tai, moving forward. Tai has to learn that there's absolutely no certainty that Patts and Tai will be together forever, till death do them part, but that does not mean that it's not beautiful and meaningful enough to try. The show has gone to great lengths to establish a clear timeline of events, to show us that Patts has an additional 5 years of life and relationship experience than Tai, and he needs every help he can get to convince Tai to believe in love again. And this is the happy ending I believe we will get: not a happily-ever-after, but a happy-right-now, and that's not so bad.

As I finish up this post, I realize that this is all pure speculation and the show might still do something completely different, and if they do, well, GMMTV is gonna make their money back for all those Micellar Water product placements, as I would need a bucketful of it to remove my many, many layers of clown makeup.

tagging @respectthepetty, look, RTP, I worked through my La Pluie fears, I'm not afraid of Lomfon anymore!

and tagging @absolutebl, we might get a HRN instead of a HEA, and maybe that'll be okay?

#la pluie #la pluie the series #la pluie meta