#the baby and horse are a compelling pair

[changbunnies]

Sugar (Outlaw 2) 18+

♡ Pairing: Cowboy/Outlaw!Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: wild west au, cowboy/outlaw au, porn with plot

♡ Word Count: 7.5k (i got carried away lmao)

♡ Summary: Despite how terrible of an idea it is, Y/N can't seem to stop herself from continuously going back to the outlaw she let defile her. This is a sequel, and you can read part 1 here !

♡ Warnings: strong language, changbin is still mean and condescending in a "nice" sort of way. not as dubcon as part 1 but it is still a major theme, references to guns and gun fights, bounty hunters, and death + murder, discussions about morality + having a morally gray sense of right and wrong, discussions on purity and being impure / tainted / a "whore" (remember that this is a historical setting, and those views don't hold up! your worth as a person is not measured by purity and sex), their relationship is probs toxic lmao

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): references to part 1 and other past dubcon situations, petnames (darlin, sugar, sweetheart, good girl, baby. reader is also refered to as a toy once but not outwardly called one), power play, oral (f+m receiving), fingering (f receiving), orgasm denial, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, creampie

♡ Notes: a sequel to Outlaw that no one asked for but i was compelled to write :') as usual, if you’re interested you can check out my fic rec and feedback blog @stray-dreams !

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

no first paragraph before read more because it goes straight into a dubcon discussion and i don't want anyone who would be bothered to accidentally see it! <3 just click the read more and enjoy !

You really should know better. You should know it’s a bad idea to keep going back to the outlaw who violated you, who treated you like a toy, who’s sense of morality was gray at best and entirely nonexistent at worst. How foolish must you be to continually make the same mistake over and over again? To return to the man who treats you as an object suited to his needs and entertainment?

Yes, you really should know better. And yet, here you are again, with the object of your fury and desire standing before you with that signature smirk and amused glint in his eye. Because despite everything, you find yourself addicted to him. You seek him out, again and again, unable to resist no matter how much the rational part of your brain screams at you not to. 

The first time you met him again following that fateful first encounter was by coincidence. Changbin had strolled into your town as the sun hung low in the horizon, tying his horse to one of the many hitching posts outside your family’s saloon before entering. You didn’t notice him right away, much too busy serving drinks to the men on the opposite end of the bar from where he sat, but once your gaze finally reached his.. 

You froze completely, eyes wide and breath halted. His brow raised when yours eyes met, a delighted glint in his eye as his famous smirk overtook his features. Your mind and heart were racing, grappling between what you should do and how you will look if you make a scene out of him being here. He didn’t intend to stumble upon you here when deciding to settle in town for the night, but by God, was he glad this was the place he chose. 

He had noticed you first evidently, and was just waiting for the moment when you’d notice him too. And it was amusing seeing you so disconcerted by his presence, your strong persona faltering the minute he entered your space. He knew where your safe space was now, knew where you called home and where to come find you if he ever so chose to. You, the timid rabbit ensnared in a trap, and Changbin, the deadly hawk ready to devour.

You had to get it together, had to proceed as normal if you didn’t want someone else taking notice of your odd behavior and asking questions. If you were in your right mind, you could probably think of an appropriate excuse to why you were pushed off kilter, but Changbin left you anything but in your right mind. 

“What can I get you tonight, sir?” You said after taking a brief moment to steady yourself. The entire exchange of looks the two of you shared likely lasted mere seconds in reality, but it felt like an eternity. He smiled, a mischievous one that did your racing heart no favors, before he answered, “A bourbon, if ya please.” 

The night continued as normal for a time following that, with Changbin acting as a surprisingly well behaved bar patron. Though, the only reason he was well behaved was because his eyes were fixed on you. He watched in delight as you wrangled in rowdy patrons and ducked advances from drunken men left and right. It was fun for him; watching you in your element like that, navigating the clamorous saloon with ease and redirecting trouble with a well practiced stern sweetness. Even your rejections to your patrons were sweet, almost sickeningly so; batted eyelashes, rehearsed apologies and excuses, with empty promises of a ‘next time.’ 

Eventually it came time for the saloon to close, with locals shuffling through the streets back to their homes while guests from out of town had to decide whether or not they’d be paying for a room to sleep off the drink in. And it’s during that time that Changbin finally caught you alone, the door to one of the saloon’s secluded storage cupboards left ajar after you entered the room. 

You were just following your nightly routine, checking what stock you had left and taking note of what you’d need to get more of before the week’s end, when you heard the subtle squeak of boots behind you. “Hey there, darlin’,” he smiled as he closed the door behind himself, stepping closer to you after the lock clicked. 

“Changbin-,” your voice came out in a stern whisper, unconsciously taking a step back as he moved closer, though there wasn’t far for you to go in the small space, “Get out.” “Now, now,” he tuts, feigning disappoint as he takes another step forward, further closing the gap between you, “is that any way to treat a payin’ guest?”

“Regardless of that, you still aren’t allowed in here,” you scowled, but his grin didn’t falter; if anything, it grew larger, gratified by the brave front you were putting on. If it were with anyone else, your bravery wouldn’t be a front at all, because you certainly are a brave woman- just not with Changbin. With him, you’re weak, your spark diminishing the instant his eyes fall on you. And you’ll fight it, of course you will, but when all is said and done, you will give in. Because that’s just the effect he has on you. 

“If you’d rather we do this out in the hall, I’m fine with that,” he challenged you, knowing very well that’s the last thing you’d want. His hand reached up to your neck, pushing your hair behind your shoulder and exposing your neck. “It’s a shame the marks have faded,” he said, voice low as his fingers traced your skin, “what do ya say we bring ‘em back, hmm?” 

“Absolutely not,” you hissed, your hands landing on his shoulders as you tried to push him away from you. He stood firm despite your pushing, letting out a low chuckle as his fingers moved from your neck to your shoulder, and down the length of your torso. And to be fair, you weren’t actually using your full strength; you were holding back, and he could tell.

He’s familiar with how a woman who's desperate to get away will react- screaming, hitting, clawing; none of which is what you’re doing. And maybe that would make sense if you were the sort of person who’s fight or flight instinct was to freeze instead, but you're not. You’re brave, you fight, you don’t let men get the better of you.

So why is it that when it’s Changbin putting you in this situation, you easily relinquish control? Why were your attempts to put up a fight so feeble, as if you want to let him overpower you? The answer to that question is clear- the biting words and scornful looks doing little to hide the glimmer that hides underneath. You want him. And if you weren’t ready to admit that to yourself yet, he’d help you see it. 

He brought his face close to yours, foreheads just barely touching, the scent of bourbon strong on his breath. The saloon had grown quiet with the closing of the bar and guests retiring to their rooms, and it made you wonder if Changbin could hear how hard your heart was beating. Your eyes were looking to the side, avoiding his piercing gaze. 

Eyes that looked straight through you, eyes that uncovered your deepest, darkest desires with ease, eyes that left no room for secrets or lies. Those were the kind of eyes Changbin had, and he used the power they held to his advantage with you. You can’t hide from him; his eyes strip you bare, leaving you as transparent as glass. 

Whether you admitted to your desires or not, he’d be the winner. If you gave in right away, confess that he filled you with an impulsive need you previously thought impossible, he’d take pride in the fact that he made you that way. And if you fought, if you denied and rejected, you’d grant him satisfaction when you inevitably crumbled to his touch. Either option left you the loser, because he knows he’s right, and there’s no escaping it. 

A one-sided stalemate, where the victor was already predetermined. Your fate unavoidable, Changbin’s hold on your senses undeniable. He has you, and that's why you couldn't look at him. Because no matter how hard you denied it, the truth would be apparent. Much to your dismay, he sees you for who you are- try as you might, there would be no hiding it. 

“Look at me, sugar,” he said as his hand hiked up your dress. He wanted to see the expression you held, wanted to see how far your self determination had fallen. Whether it was a look of submission this early on, or a look of pure contempt, it wouldn’t matter; because either way, there’s fun for him to have with you. 

“What do you want from me?” you asked with eyes squeezed shut, voice beginning to tremble as his hand rubbed between your thighs. You’re not even sure why you asked, entirely; you knew this was nothing but a game for him, an addictive cat and mouse. He’s in it for the pleasure, for the thrill of making you crumble to his whims- it was as simple and clear as that. 

“Oh, darlin,” he cooed as he leaned his head further down, lips brushing against your ear, “you already know what I want.” Fuck. He could see goosebumps erupting on your skin, noticed the way you instinctively tried to close your legs together, though his hand instantly stopped the act from happening. Fun, he thinks. Toying with you is so fun.

“I want you,” Changbin continued, bringing his other hand to your face and forcing you to look back at him. “I want you pinned down underneath me. I want to hold you by the throat while I fuck you. I want to watch you become stupid from my cock.”

Oh, God. Your face was on fire, heart bursting out of your chest, hopelessly ensnared by him; caught in a trap you had no hope of escaping from unscathed. 

“I’m not going to let you do that,” you managed to say without stuttering, a feeble attempt to stand your ground, though the proverbial floor to stand on no longer existed. But with his hand nestled between your legs, you couldn’t hide the way your body reacted to his words; couldn’t hide the way arousal pooled in your underwear. Once again, your body has betrayed you. 

“Is that right?” he grinned as he spoke, the amusement in his voice clear. He knew you’d let him have you, but the fact that you were denying it makes things much more exciting. “I don’t think that’s true, sugar,” Changbin said, now directly rubbing over your soaked underwear, “I think you’ll let me do anything I want.. I think ya want me just as bad as I want you.” 

He was right, of course. Maybe you’d hide it for a time, but you won’t be able to resist for long. He’s frustratingly smug and assured, but it’s not without reason. Your self respect, your dignity, your purity- what had become of it? In blatant terms, it’d been ruined- forever marred by his touch, the damage to your body and mind irreparable. And whatever you could reclaim from what was left has been forever tarnished by your own actions. Tainted by your desire for the man in front of you, your thirst forever unquenchable, the very sanctity of your being in the hands of a criminal. 

And in the end, he fucked you right there, in the small, tucked away storage cupboard, with your back against the wall, and legs around his waist. His strength held you up, his arms hooked under your own and supporting all of your weight, your desperate noises muffled only by clamping your hands over your mouth.

He made regular visits to the town after that, becoming a loyal regular of the saloon, charming staff and other patrons alike with his wit and allure. It was infuriating watching him play the role of a simple wanderer looking for work, his true nature and motives known only to you. No one else seemed to know what lied underneath the charming front. The worst kind of man, a manipulator through and through, a deviant who beckoned you to his room in the late hours of the night, the proprietor to a secret affair not yet uncovered by those around you. 

However, he couldn’t hide his identity forever; his past actions eventually caught up to him when a gang of bounty hunters began to sweep the area with wanted posters in hand, eager to collect the reward for the head of Seo Changbin. He left town in a blaze of smoke and gunfire, shooting back at anyone who dared follow him.

You were relieved at first, knowing that Changbin couldn’t return without instigating a fierce gun fight for his life. But as the weeks passed, a gnawing feeling began to eat away at your chest. The bounty hunters moved on, carried by the promise of wealth further west, and yet Changbin hadn’t returned to town. And that was a good thing- or at least, it was supposed to be. 

Did you.. Miss him? No, that was impossible. Completely unfeasible, utterly out of the realm of possibility. That’s what you told yourself, but the gnawing feeling doesn’t recede in the slightest; if anything, it grew stronger with each passing day. Did you really want to see Changbin again? No, it had to be the hormones talking- surely you weren’t actually hoping to see him again. He twisted your beliefs and made you confused, that’s all; you could recover from this with time. 

But you’d been thinking a lot lately about what made Changbin different from the bounty hunters that hunted him, and you came to the conclusion that they weren’t much different in the end; they went wherever money and women called to them, a penchant for violence ingrained in the very essence of their actions. The only difference between them and Changbin was that he didn’t live under false pretenses or a faux sense of morality; he knew exactly who he was, and he didn’t pretend to be anything different in front of you. 

And can you call yourself morally superior when at the end of the day you are still taking a life in exchange for money? Can you really say that one sin justifies another? Is it okay to kill someone if that person was in the wrong first? You didn’t think about these things until you met Changbin, and if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know where you stood anymore on whether or not someone like him deserved to die. 

You found yourself questioning the people you used to applaud, and wondering if you were really as good of a person as you thought you were. Maybe these complicated feelings always lied within you, and all it took to bring them out was meeting the right person.

No, it was all Changbin’s fault that you’ve begun to feel this way. He warped your thoughts and desires, he made you doubt what you once held firm to, he’s bad for you.

But even so, knowing he’s bad for you, knowing that he makes you act irrationally, knowing that he triggers your deepest impulses, you are here again. Back in the place you first met him, the place you once called home, surrounded by the ghosts of your past, of the person you were before you met him. 

“So we meet again, darlin’,” he said when your figure first emerged in his doorway, tense frame instantly relaxing when met with the sight of you, hand falling from its readied position on his gun holster. You are no threat to him, hungry for his touch as you are. Any threat from you would ring hollow, because for better or worse, he knows you. And you're certainly capable of a lot of things, but fighting against your basest desires doesn’t seem to be one of them. 

You stepped inside fully, trying to have a nonchalant air about you, though you’re sure Changbin was able to see through it. He always reads you easily, always takes notice of even the most minute of changes in your body language. You’re sure that even now, he can sense the subtle shy anxiety that wells under the surface. But regardless, you’re here now, having come too far to retreat at the last minute. 

And you know that he knows what it is you want, knows why you are here, but should you still be honest? Debase yourself by admitting your most carnal of desires? But at this point, what were you if not tarnished? Your worth can’t go any lower than it already is- you were already brought to your lowest point, so what was the harm in indulgence? If you were already ruined, why shouldn’t you disregard all you’ve ever been taught, all you ever thought you knew, and let him devastate you? 

But no, you can’t do that. It would be too easy, and if there’s anything you’ve learned about Changbin, it’s that he doesn’t like easy. He wants you to stand your ground, he wants you to argue and fight against everything he says and does. He wants your eyes angry, for your voice to tremble with indignation, because it’ll make it that much better when he dismantles you. 

He wants to be the object of your ire, for your resentment to build to the point of eruption, only for it to be eclipsed by how good it feels when he fucks you. Whether or not you truly hate him is up for debate at this point, and ultimately doesn’t matter much. What does matter is the fun you grant him, the cat and mouse game culminating into a moment that can only be described as pure bliss.

“I know, I know. Ya want me to fuck you, don’t ya darlin’?” He smiles as he says it, anticipating what your reaction will ultimately be. A glare maybe, with your face hot and red, or mousy as you finally admit openly how bad you want him. While the looks of animosity are his favorite, he likes the shy looks too; the timid expression on your face when he catches you off guard, a quick glimmer of embarrassment or sheepishness before you can conjure your antipathy to replace it. 

“No. I want to fuck you. And you’ll let me,” you say, hoping to come across as confident and stern, “You’ll do whatever I want you to do.” “Oh? Is that right?” Changbin lets out a laugh, head tilting as he grants you another amused look. That’s certainly a surprise, but he’s not opposed to it. He can easily do that- give you a taste of control, that is. It’s an interesting proposition; a fun one. 

He can let you believe you’re the one in charge, that you have the power to make the rules and that he’ll follow them. And maybe he will follow them- to an extent, of course. He’ll give you his ‘yes, ma’am’s’ and ‘whatever ya say, darlin’ ‘s, play the role of the obedient man cursed to follow your whims, hit you with tongue-in-cheek remarks and let you ‘tame’ him with harsh looks and biting words when he steps out of line. All so that in the end, when he easily takes all the control away from you, it’ll be that much sweeter. 

It’s a fun game you’re offering him, so he’ll play the hell out of it. “Sure, sweetheart. You’ve been a good girl for me, I can give ya a reward,” Changbin smirks as he says it, clearly not taking you seriously in the slightest. But that’s okay, because you didn’t expect him to; you knew any attempt to wrestle control would be met with an amused smirk, you knew that none of your harsh words would do anything but fuel his delight. 

The reason you’re doing this isn’t to try and gain some sense of control that you know you won’t be granted, and you don’t intend to make him genuinely submit to you; it’s just part of the game between you, and you’re doing your part to make it the most enjoyable it can be. Because if you’re addicted to Changbin, if you can’t escape the way his touch makes you feel, if you can’t get past the need and craving for him, then you need to make him just as addicted to you. 

Just as your thoughts are consumed by him, you want his to be consumed by you. Think of only you, crave only you, make it so that no one else in the world can compare. You want to be the first person, the only person, he goes to when he wants to fuck, you want to be the drug in his veins, you want to eat away at his self-control the same way he eats away at yours. 

Changbin could easily fight against your touches, stand firm in place and overpower you if he so chooses, but he’s letting you push him to his knees. “Oh, this is what you want?” he asks with his usual smirk, his hands already moving under your dress to squeeze at your thighs. “You could’ve just asked, sweetheart. I’ll do it if you ask me nicely.” 

You roll your eyes, letting a scoff escape your lips. The only way he’d listen to a request from you is if he relentlessly teased and embarrassed you first. You can easily picture the way he’d grin at you, and the condescending tone and words he’d use to make your fists tremble and skin flush. Yes, even if you asked nicely, begged sweetly, or even desperately, he’d use it to ruin you. 

“I’m not asking,” you say as you pull your dress up and over your head, tossing it to the floor beside you, because if Changbin is going to be between your legs, you want a full view of it. Rather than act though, he stays completely still, looking up at you with a lifted brow and not at all subtle smirk, as if to challenge you. A look that says ‘aren’t you going to make me?’ 

You bring your hand to his hair, tugging roughly as you pull him closer to your center, commanding him to get started. “So pushy, are you always this needy?” he teases with a laugh, but adheres to your demand nonetheless, wasting no time in letting his tongue out to lap at you, his hands now squeezing your thighs rougher than before. 

Your previous affairs were a secret you held close to your chest, as you knew you’d be branded a “whore” if it was known you’ve had sex whilst unwed. That being said, you’d only done the act with those you had serious interest in. Sweet men, who treated you like an angel, with the utmost care and consideration. Careful touches and soft kisses that were carried through all interactions with you. 

When they ate you out, they did so sweetly, with slow kitten licks and gentle caresses to your thighs. And it was nice, you even thought you liked it at the time, but you know that’s not what you want now. Everything about Changbin is different from every other man you’ve been with, and you want this moment to be different too. You want him to devour you, to make a mess of you, to make you feel a pleasure so foreign and intense that it consumes you. 

And that’s exactly what he grants you- a pleasure so explosive you have to bite your lip to hold back the noises that threaten to leave you. The drag of his tongue can only be described as euphoric, and when his lips wrap around your clit and suck, you can’t help but let out a loud, shuddering gasp. You want to keep watching him, but you can’t- your eyes refuse to stay open, the pleasure much too intense to do anything else.

He can tell you’re close when your thighs start twitching, quick breathy pants and whines leaving you freely. And that’s when he gets an evil idea- an idea that will make you desperate and whiny, one that will rip any semblance of control out from your hands and place it back into his. A strong suck on your clit, a few quick flicks of his tongue, your body trembling as your mind screams close, close, close- 

And in an instant the feeling is gone, all the built up pleasure receding into nothing. A frustrated whine leaves your lips, looking down to see Changbin staring back at you with that stupid fucking smile he has every time he successfully drives you crazy. “F-Fuck, you fucking asshole, you-” you prattle off insults, though the act does nothing but add to the satisfaction he feels; this is exactly the reaction he was hoping for. 

You move your hand to the back of his head, pushing him back to where you want him and demanding that he keep going. And to your surprise, he does, though not without a muffled snicker first. And if your mind wasn’t so clouded by the desire to cum, you might have realized what his intentions were by going back in without a fight, but you didn’t have the mental capacity for that any longer. All you knew is that you wanted, needed, to release all over his tongue. 

Changbin goes through the same motions as before, expertly building you up to your release, getting you so, so close, before pulling away again right before you can. Another frustrated, high pitched whine leaves you, hips stuttering in an effort to feel something, anything to bring your release to you. You look down at him again, eyes glossy from the tears welling in them, and fuck, that look really does it for him. The pretty look of aggravation mixed with desperation makes his cock impossibly hard. 

You try to push him to your center again, but this time he resists, staying firmly in place and watching the way your expression twists into one of near anguish with an amused satisfaction. “Changbin-” your voice doesn’t come out anywhere near as stern and commanding as you wish it to; instead, his name leaves you as an urgent, desperate mewl. “Aww, poor thing. Ya gonna cry?” he mocks you, head tilted and an infuriating grin plastered on his face.

Fuck. You knew it wouldn’t be long until Changbin flipped the script and put you back at his mercy, but this soon? And he didn’t know whether you were genuinely vying for control or not, if you went into this with the intent to fight until the bitter end or if you were resolved to relinquish it after some time; what he did know is that he loved seeing you like this. Broken almost, resolve crumbled like a sand castle hit by a wave, so weak and ruined, all because of him. 

“Want me to keep going?” he asks in a tone that is almost sickeningly sweet, another twisted smile of satisfaction on his face. You nod frantically, a shameless display of your need, and he smirks, answering your reaction with a condescending, “Why should I?” Another whine, hot tears rolling down your cheeks as indignation and desperation eat away at you. 

Changbin coos when he sees the tears fall, another “poor thing” leaving him. Funny how he’s the one on his knees, yet is the one entirely in control. You beg wantonly now, countless utterances of “please” and “i need it”, all sense of restraint and shame seeming to have evaporated the moment your tears began to fall. The display makes his cock throb in his trousers, erotic beyond words, utterly enthralling and so pretty. 

“Shh, that’s enough darlin’,” he says as he takes one of your legs and guides it over his shoulder, fully ready to support your weight and keep you standing for what he plans to do next. You keen when his tongue finally makes contact with you again, body shuddering as your head lolls back. One arm snakes around the leg not propped up on him, squeezing at the flesh within his reach, while the other moves between your thighs, fingers prodding at your entrance for just a moment before sliding easily inside. 

He gives you no time to adjust to the thickness of his fingers, setting a fast pace with them from the very start. Your eyes roll back, a cacophony of lewd noises filling the space as your high quickly builds back up for the third time. Between the earlier denied orgasms, the relentless pace he’s setting now with his fingers and the way his lips feel wrapped around your clit, you’re already dangerously close.  

Your fingers tangle in his hair, both as a means to ground yourself and to keep him as close to you as possible; and it only takes a few more thrusts of his fingers and flicks of his tongue to send you over the edge. You cum hard, Changbin’s body and hold on your leg being the only thing keeping you upright as the waves of pleasure course through you. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your entire body shaking, with the only noise you’re capable of making being sharp gasps as your release spills on his tongue and fingers. 

You sink to the floor when he moves back and lets you go, legs akin to jello and no longer able to support your weight after having what was easily the most intense orgasm of your life. Your eyes are still closed, breathing labored as you try to bring your mind back down to earth. Changbin meanwhile rises to his feet, being the one to look down at you now. 

It’s a pretty sight; your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath, tear stains on your cheeks and body flushed. But it could still be prettier, and he knows exactly how he wants to achieve that look. “Open your eyes, sweetheart,” you hear Changbin’s voice call to you from above, and when you do you’re met with quite the sight. 

His cock is in one of his hands, trousers having fallen to the floor around his ankles. You must have been too lost in your haze to hear him unzip his pants, or to hear the sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor. You look up at his face next, taking in the expectant gaze he’s shooting at you. 

You’re half tempted to say no, to make a big show out of protesting and coax him to put you back in your place, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want his cock in your mouth right now. It’s not often you’re granted the pleasure of sucking him off, as he usually he goes straight into fucking you after he’s done with his merciless teasing- so you’ll play the good girl role, just this once.

You shift to be fully on your knees, opening your mouth wide for him and letting your hands rest on his thighs. He brings a hand to the back of your head, pushing you the rest of the way when you hesitate, ensuring you take the entirety of his length in your mouth in one go. You gag when the tip touches your throat, but Changbin’s hand holds you in place, preventing you from instinctively retreating. 

The way you're looking up at him through your lashes, eyes glossy with fresh, unshed tears and nose touching his pubic bone- it’s enough to drive him wild. But he won’t lose it just yet; he’ll grant you a small kindness by giving you a few moments to adjust, to familiarize yourself with the feeling of his cock down your throat and learn how to breathe through it. He can’t let his favorite toy completely suffocate on him, after all. 

He sets a brutal pace once he’s sure you’re adjusted, sparing your poor throat no mercy. You can barely even hear the low groans he lets out over the salacious sounds leaving your mouth and throat. It’s a struggle not to choke and sputter every time he thrusts back into your mouth, and each failed attempt causes the tears on your lashes to spill over. 

The saliva that has pooled in your mouth escapes out of the sides, sliding down your chin and dripping onto your chest. You can’t help but squirm as he holds your head in place, your nails digging into his thighs as you try your hardest to ignore the growing ache in your jaw and effectively breathe through your nose. You can feel his cock twitch against your tongue as his pace becomes the slightest bit more sporadic, and for a moment you think he intends to cum down your throat, but he doesn’t. 

He pulls out instead, a subtle smirk on his face as he watches you take big, gulping breaths to allow air back into your lungs. You wipe your face clean with the back of your hand before you look up at him, knowing he’s far from done with you. He takes you in his arms, helping you rise to your feet (though you doubt he’s helping you due to any sort of caring, and is only doing it to get you where he wants you faster.)

“Come with me, darlin’,” he says as he leads you to the bed with him, paying no mind to the unsteadiness in your legs as you try to keep up with his pace. Changbin sits first, pulling you onto his lap immediately after. You already know what he wants, but you can’t- your knees ache from the time spent on the hard floor, and the usual strength in your legs has all but evaporated.

“Bin-” you start to whine, complaints lingering on your lips, but he tuts before you can even begin to speak them. “What’s wrong, sugar? Didn’t ya say you wanted to fuck me?” Fucking asshole, throwing your words back at you and looking at you with that devilish smile. He should know you weren’t even that serious about it! He’s just being cruel. “I can’t, I-”

“You can,” he interrupts, guiding you to align yourself with him, “You will.” His hands are holding your hips, another expectant look on his face as he waits for you to sink down on him. “You’re so fucking mean-” you cry, body trembling as you lower yourself onto his cock. He just grins, knowing very well that if you truly hated how mean he was, you wouldn’t have crawled your way back to him. 

Your pace isn’t all that fast given the ache in your knees, but contrary to what you’d expect, Changbin doesn’t scold you. Instead, he cups your face under the chin, directing you to look at him. “So sweet, aren’t ya sugar?” he smiles, thumb rubbing your cheek while his other hand stays firmly on your hip, “such a brat sometimes, but you do whatever you're told in the end, don’t ya? Such a good girl when ya want to be, huh?” 

You should be ashamed of the way his words fill your stomach with butterflies, but you truly can’t help it. He knows what he’s doing too; knows how to drive you absolutely crazy, knows how to be mean in just the right way, so that when a praise hits your ears it affects you all the more. 

However, despite your best effort, you can’t get your legs to cooperate with you any further. Your legs feel so heavy, and having your hands firmly placed on Changbin’s chest for support does nothing to ease the unsteady trembling. It’s a subtle sort of humiliation- making you do something he knows is near impossible in your current state.

The tears are welling in your eyes again and threatening to spill, frustration in your gut and exhaustion completely taking over your body. Your legs throb from the exertion and fatigue, your energy beyond spent, you can’t keep going. Your pace slows to a near stop, and you look at him pleadingly, teary eyed and pouty, a silent beg for his help. 

He knew you wouldn’t be able to do it for long, but he made you do it anyway, because this is what he really wanted. He wanted to watch you turn into a pathetic, whining mess, he wanted to relish the look of anguish on your face. He has to be cruel to you, because the end result is always so addicting. 

“Tell me what you need, baby. Need my help? Need me to fuck you?” he smiles sweetly as he asks, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. You nod quickly, leaning into his touch that shouldn’t at all be comforting but somehow is in your near-delirious state. “Use your voice, sweetheart. I gotta hear you say it.”

God, he loves when you get to this point- where all anger and shame has been replaced by the overwhelming desire and need you feel for him. You’re babbling out pleas over and over, and he takes a moment to savor the sound of it before shushing you. “Hush now, darlin’, I’ll give ya what you want.” 

He flips your positions easily, you landing on your back against the mattress and Changbin now hovering over you. You stare up at him as he sinks back into you, the sight of him making your heart race. It’s infuriating how handsome he is, especially in moments like this, where sweat lingers on his brow and his jaw clenches. 

Changbin is good at acting unaffected by you, always able to make it seem like he’s not at all enthralled or addicted, always making your need for him appear one-sided. But the truth is he needs you just as bad as you need him, because in you he has finally found his perfect match. You wanted him to crave you solely, to look for you and only you, not knowing that he already was. 

He didn’t seek you out all those times after your lucky re-encounter because it was easy or convenient; it’s because it was you, specifically. He’s no stranger to brothels and bordellos, nor to the coy advances of working women. There are countless women in the world, countless establishments he could spend his coin at to satiate himself, but they weren’t you. All he wants and all he needs, the very picture of perfection, you. 

He leans down, capturing your lips in a sensual kiss as he starts to thrust in earnest, and the act makes your stomach twist. He’s kissed you before of course, but only ever with the intent to tease or humiliate you, and never while his cock was inside you. And you don’t know why, but it feels good. He can tell you like it too, by the way you clench around him, and from the way a pleasured noise he’s never heard before leaves your throat. 

He keeps his lips attached to yours, tongues sloppily rubbing together. His fingers dig into your hips as he fucks into you, his tight hold leaving indentations behind in your skin. Changbin curses under his breath when he pulls away, both of your highs quickly approaching. You’re squeezing him so tight, and the feeling of your nails digging into his skin is intoxicating. 

“Fuck, ‘m so close-” he groans, pace quickly becoming more sporadic. And this is normally the point he’d pull out, letting his cum spill between your thighs or onto your chest and stomach, but.. He looks at you, and all he can think about is how you’re his. He wants no one else to have you, no one else to touch you, no one to even look at you the way he does. 

So instead, he pulls you in even closer, your chest firmly pressed into his as he presses his lips to your ear. “Gonna cum in you darlin’. You’d like that, right? Want me to fill you up?” You gasp at his words, one that transitions into a moan as your arms and legs wrap snuggly around him. It’s a bad fucking idea, but you want it so bad. 

Whatever the consequences are, you’re too far gone to care about them. You want him to claim you in all ways; his teeth, his nails, his cum- it didn’t matter, so long as you were his in the end. “Y-Yes, please, I want it,” your answer comes out between shuddering inhales, desperate and eager for Changbin to release inside you. 

It only takes a few more thrusts for him to spill inside you, the sensation of his cum shooting in you both foreign but good beyond what you ever could’ve imagined. His hips don’t stop moving even as he cums, and the continued thrusts paired with the feeling of being filled up for the first time sends you over the edge too, body convulsing in his hold as pure pleasure fills your senses. 

You’re both breathless when you finally come down from your high, body going limp as you release Changbin from your hold. He pulls out slowly, and fuck, the sight of his cum dripping out of your hole is utterly intoxicating; he’s definitely going to become addicted to it. He lies next to you when he’s done admiring the view, looking at your face next with a subtle smile.

“What do ya think about being my lady? Hmm, baby?” he asks as he pulls you in, pressing your body into his as his arm wraps around your waist. You blink as you process it, a sort of warmth overtaking your body as the question settles in you. “...are you serious?” you can’t help but ask, unsure if this is going to transition into some sort of tease if you say yes or if the question is genuine. 

“Dead serious, darlin’,” Changbin answers easily, his smile the most earnest you’ve ever seen it to be. Not at all condescending, no trace of a humiliating remark waiting to be said; he’s simply asking you a question, with nothing more beyond it. And he wouldn’t say it’s love that drives him to make you his, because genuine love is a foreign thing to a man like him, but this is likely the closest he’ll ever get. He just wants to know you’ll always be there, that you’d follow him anywhere he goes, that no matter where life takes the two of you, you’ll belong to him and he’ll belong to you. 

And fuck, it’s a really bad idea. You really, really shouldn’t- you should know better. So why are you entertaining the idea? Why does the thought of spending your days with someone so objectively terrible make you so happy? He’s really fucking ruined you, it seems. He’s a terrible man who does terrible things, he’s a criminal, he’s a manipulator- your immediate answer should be a resounding “no.”

But the truth of the matter is that Changbin makes you feel like no one else; infuriated but desired, broken but simultaneously put together. You’ve come to enjoy the dynamic you have with him; you now understand the fun in the back and forth, the pleasure to be had in the banter and fight, how impossible it is to let someone who matches your energy go. 

A life with him would surely be a life of turmoil, of danger and of risk. But it would also be one of pleasure and unforeseen excitement. Your life was good before meeting him, but it was also dull and predictable. You were likely to spend your whole life in the same place, forever at the beck and call of your parents, or a man that while sweet, wouldn’t excite or please you the way Changbin does. If you say yes, your life will change forever. 

No, that’s not quite true; your life already has been forever altered by meeting him. You’re already his, and this is nothing more than a formality. Because why else would you be here right now, if you weren’t already his? For better or worse, you belong to him, body and soul, and you’ve come to realize that nothing will change it.

“Teach me how to use a gun and I’m all yours,” you finally say, and Changbin laughs, clearly pleased with the answer you came to. “You got it, darlin’. Just promise ya won’t shoot me by the time we’re done.” “No promises. I’d be careful if I were you,” you smile, tone light and playful.

“Is that a threat, sugar?” he meets your smile with one of his own, tilting his head to the side as he always does when he’s amused. “Sure is. Don’t pretend you don’t deserve it,” you answer, and he laughs again, pulling you into a kiss afterwards. Body to body, limbs tangled together as you smile at each other, he thinks about what a perfect partner in crime you’ll be from here on out.

#skz x reader #changbin x reader #skz smut #changbin smut #skz imagines #skz scenarios #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune

[rinbowaman]

My Roommates Ex - Chapter 2

Okay here we go, on to chapter 2 of MRE. I'm going to finish editing chapter 3 and try to post tonight, along with 1st chapter of Mermaids Tale.

Pairings: Heeseung and you.

Warnings: Use of intimidating, use of force, heartbreak, and breakups. Not a whole lot in here, this chapter doesn't have any smut but is still a good read. Lots of angst and fluff. Mending of the heart, and touching moments in this one.

Summary:

The blissful drive became ingrained in your memory as both parked and continued to admire the view of the wide-open field. You both spent hours talking and laughing as you watched the cows and horses grazing, carrying out funny noises as they moved around or plopped themselves on the ground, struggling to get back up. 

You didn’t want to ruin the moment, but you had to ask in order to figure out how to go about the situation concerning Vicky. You looked over at Heeseung, who was facing straight ahead looking rather pensive, his fingers massaging your hand.

“You don’t have to say it…but just know I’m only asking because I’m struggling to find a way to tell her. Can you tell me what happened between you and Vicky?” Your voice shook in mentioning her name.

Remembering the last look he gave to her the night of the party, you didn’t want to stir that type of anger within him, thus bringing that same expression to meet your face when it was just you and him inside his car.

But he didn’t give it to you.

He remained totally unchanged and calm, still facing forward looking at the view through the windshield, his fingers kept stroking the ins and outs of your baby skin hands, he lets out a streamed exhale through his nose.

“Vicky made her choice…a long time ago in fact. I just…didn’t want to deal with it anymore…not after seeing you for the first time.” His voice was almost delicate, he spoke with emotions of anger, sadness, and happiness.

“So you don’t think…she won’t mind if I told her?” You responded. Faintly turning his face, he looked at you, still massaging your hand.

You looked down at it and watched, feeling too embarrassed to face him straight on.

“It wouldn’t matter if she did.” He replied. You felt compelled to explain; you carried the weight of the conversation.

“I know…it’s just…if I am going to tell her, I just need to prepare myself in case I am the cause of….you know…if I ruin our friendship.”

As badly as you wanted to keep Heeseung, acknowledging the fact that you would be giving up your relations with Vicky and the girls, whom had been the most stable friends you’ve had.

Heeseung raised his eyebrow at you in a perplex countenance. He leans in, the hand that massaged yours suddenly stops and grips you tightly as he brings your hand in towards his lap. He pulls you by that hand to bring you closer and meet him half way in front of his face.

“You’re not the “cause” of anything. You’re a reason. In fact, you’re THE reason.” You lifted your face to look at him, feeling overwhelmed by his words of flattery, you asked him as you gave a soft chuckle.

“Reason for what?” Your mouth wasn’t the only feature on your face smiling, he could see one in your eyes, along with the joy and innocence of being unaware on how much you truly meant to him.

“…A lot…”

He stared at you intently. His gaze was expelling all levels of compassion and love, his eyes moved around your delicate face when he gave his answer. He continued to add on to it.

“ You’re the reason why people reach for the stars. The one thing that makes a person get up even after a hard fall…the reason why we all keep walking and don’t stop moving.”

He spoke in the most loving manner as he commits to his usual habit of gently moving the hair out of your face so he could appreciate the full spectrum of your reaction.

As ever, Heeseung’s ability to take notice in the slightest bit of sadness or discomfort was beyond reproach, but his ability to ease you in was even better.

“Listen…you don’t need to worry about anything. We don’t have to be in a rush to tell her, we can take our time and whenever you’re ready, I’ll be ready too. We can…keep this between us. If that’s what you want.”

The level of appreciation you felt as he displayed his understanding of this situation nearly brought you to tears. You slight nodded but before you could thank him in return, he added on;

“Although I’m not going to lie…I hate the idea of sneaking around just to get to you.” He chuckled as he made it aware that the affection he had for you was something he couldn’t wait to display in public. The thought of showing everyone that you belonged to him tickled his heart. Though he never would rush into it at the risk of making you uncomfortable.

“Thank you…and I think I would like to tell her…in a little while. I just want a few days to figure out how to do it.” He nodded in agreement, his finger tracing your jawline as you spoke and shyly looked down.

The both of you spent the entire peak of the early to mid-morning enjoying each other’s company, never even blinking an eye upon realizing how fast the time flew by. You both just stayed with one another and embrace the feeling of not having a care in the world.

You asked Heeseung to drop you off towards the back parking lot. You both coordinated a time to meet up at the same spot later in the afternoon once you both were able to get some rest and take care of homework assignments.

The lot was nearly empty, being it was Saturday, you suspect that many of your peers may have succumbed to a brutal hangover and are probably still dealing with the repercussions of a pounding headache. Heeseung walked with you to the back side-entrance of the building.

Before you could reach for the knob, he turned you around to face him as he gently pressed you up against the wall. One arm was hovered over your head, resting up against the flat surface while the other was placed on his hip, entrapping you for just a moment as he wasn’t going to let you go without a kiss.

The kiss seemed like it lasted for hours as he kept bringing you in to him. The hand on his hip moves up and cradles the back of your neck, pulling you in. Of all the times you had seen him with Vicky, you never once saw Heeseung with this level of infatuation or affection, the man could not keep his hands off you and you loved it.

Eventually you had to be the voice of reason, and put the riskiness of possibly being seen outside the entrance to an end. You reassured him that you would see him later, and with that he opens the door for you and lets you in, closing it ever so gently as you make your way up the stairs.

Entering the dorm, you were shocked to find Vicky still hadn’t arrived. The room was just as you left it earlier with Heeseung. After a long shower, you laid in bed preparing for a nap. Beginning to feel the effects of being awake since 4am, your eyes felt too tired to stay open any longer. You set your alarm and drift off.

You wake up a few hours later, feeling more refreshed. Noticing there was still no sign of Vicky, you figured she may have decided to remain out for the entire weekend. You get dressed and started working on your homework, getting prepared to see Heeseung after a short while.

Opting to keep it comfy casual, you dress yourself in leggings, a tank top, and a pullover hoodie over. Just as you were picking up your phone, about to text and see if he was awake, you hear the door slowly creeping open and watched Vicky enter the room.

Surprised to see you, she gently shuts the door and continues to stand and look at you. You’re not entirely sure why you both were speechless; however, you broke the ice as you greet her and apologize for not answering any of her calls or responding to her texts.

“I was so worried about you.” She disdainfully tells you while looking at you with a slight furrow between her brows. To which you nodded in guilt and admitted that you should have called.

“I’m sorry Vicky…I ended up having a rough night after I got back to the dorm.” You left your sentence short and vague, not wanting to breach the subject of Samuel.

It wasn’t because you were feeling hurt over the email, you’re well past that.

It was because you felt your heart shutter whenever you breached the topic of the event that took place that very same evening, inside your dorm. An event, that entailed the most passionate level of intimacy you’ve experienced, and it was with Heeseung. Oddly enough however, you still felt this urge to bring it up and speak with her seeing as how you both were alone, Gabe wasn’t around, and Heeseung was more than likely still asleep. You wanted to have that closure with her more than anything else, so you toppled over the idea on starting off by asking her about her current relationship with Gabe.

“…Vicky…are you and Gabe…?” You hesitated for a second, not entirely sure how to word the question. This was a lot harder than what you initially thought.

Vicky looked at you with a raised eyebrow, one that signified a hint of suspicion on how you thought of a question, regarding her and Gabe, when considering she didn’t say anything about her relationship with Heeseung ending.

“Gabe and I….I’m not sure to be honest, I’m still trying to figure that out. I haven’t had the chance to speak to Ethan yet.”

Your heart dropped at her mentioning that last bit, you started to tell yourself that it would be best to drop the conversation and leave it be for now. You had every intention of changing the subject, but Vicky continued the discussion before you could get a word out.

“Why do you ask?”

You continue to answer her. Though nothing was said yet, you started to narrow down a theory on what may have happened between Vicky, Gabe, and Heeseung.

“It’s….nothing I just…I saw how close you two were at the party last night and I…noticed Heeseung didn’t come to you.” She raised both brows in shock;

“How do you know Ethan’s birth name?”

“His friend, Jake, called him by that name at the party. I met him and his girlfriend Emily.”

“Oh. Did you talk to Ethan a bit?”

“Yeah…”

“Does he…let you call him by his birthname? He only allows certain friends to address him by that name. He wouldn’t even let me call him by it.” Vicky’s gaze started to drift down to the floor as she felt the pain in her own words and realizing that Heeseung gave you an advantage that she never got.

You also a stared onto the floor, nodding your head in a “oh is that right?” expression when hearing about Heeseung limiting everyone in knowing, and using his rightful name. You projected a question that you desperately needed to know the answer to. Even though she had made it clear with her plans in ending things with Heeseung, you got this feeling that she had a hard time letting him go, despite her truly feeling he wasn’t going to make her happy.

“Did…Heeseung not tell you why he ignored your calls and texts?” Vicky shook her head,

“No…he didn’t. Did he say anything to you?”

“No…”

“Oh….well, I was thinking about talking to him tomorrow, I’d figure I would stop by his frat house and s-“

Vicky was suddenly cutoff when the door abruptly opens, not a single knock was submitted prior to opening it. You watched as Gabe walks in. At least this time he had shut the door behind him, although, you weren’t entirely sure if that had sat well with you. This time it didn’t matter if it was considered rude, you had a problem being in a closed room with this man, even if Vicky was there with you.

“Vicky, are you ready?” Gabe was very curt with his words, he looked fed up, no doubt he was still feeling the shame and embarrassment from last night.

“No…sorry. I was just talking with Y/N and I hadn’t grabbed my stuff yet.” Vicky responded in a shallow tone.

“Well hurry up!” Gabe rushed her, giving her a swift push behind her back, and towards her closet, right before he turned to face you.

“So where’s your bulldog?” Gabe antagonizes you as he asks the ridiculous question. You knew what he meant but you wanted to throw his words back at his face by treating him as idiotic as the question itself.

]“Bulldog?…”

“Yeah, fucking Ethan. What the hell was his problem? And why are you instigating it?”

You were shocked at his accusation. “Instigating? Me?” you exaggerate your sarcasm as you point towards your chest and eyed him with a look of extreme annoyance.

“You know exactly what I mean Y/N, you always want to be a tease and flirt with me, but whenever I try to keep it friendly you somehow play a victim and always get someone like Ethan to beat other people up.” Gabe’s lengthy and rather fabricated response was entertaining.

Not sure if you were angry at this point or just in complete shock, you turned over towards Vicky who was watching the whole interaction with arms crossed, not even displaying a hint of interest in breaking off the displeasing conversation happening before her. You had desperately hoped that she would see right through him, realizing that he was spilling out a heinous lie in her presence, to paint himself as an entirely different type of man than what he really was.

But her lack of judgement regarding the conversation tells you that she didn’t see anything, apart from Gabe’s capabilities to shower her with his father’s inheritance. You took it as fair game and decided to take the gloves off.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that obvious lie. In fact, I’m done having any sort of interaction with you.” Upon harshly relaying your statement to him, you turned towards Vicky, he was still looking on the floor, rather dead inside. But it was her turn.

“Vicky…why are you with him? He’s no good. He doesn’t respect you or your friends. He’s been lowkey harassing me whenever you’re not around or looking, and I don’t think he would take care of you the way you think he would.” You said a mouthful, and you felt bad for being so blunt, but it was way past due.

Vicky didn’t say anything, instead she just looked at you. Unable to tell if she was giving you a look of disbelief or if it was just one reflecting her annoyance with what you had just said.

Gabe scoffed and turned his eyes away, looking offended as usual. He overexaggerated a look of disbelief as well, insinuating that he was incapable of committing heinous acts against you.

“Vicky…you’re a nice, kind, and beautiful girl. One of the prettier ones I’ve ever seen. I don’t understand why you limit yourself, when you have so much going for you.” You continued, trying to reach through to her by appealing to her as a friend, since your earlier statement was rather harsh.

Vicky just simply went back to eyeing the floor, only this time it was off the side as she stared into the abyss.

Gabe began getting impatient, he grabbed Vicky’s arm and ushered her to hurry up and grab her belongings. He snapped his head around to face you afterwards, exposing his gritted teeth in annoyance.

“And you…” He grabbed your wrist as he continued.

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you! I’ve always complimented and told nice things to all my friends about you. You’re selfish!”

You were amazed at how committed he was in playing out this act. You tried to break away from his grasp, but your movement in trying to get away propelled him to tighten his grip. He yells out at you for moving as you try to release yourself.

“Hey!” You look up, your eyes were met with Gabe’s mouth remaining open as he frowned heavily. You turned to look over to Vicky, she was starting to look nervous and seemed like she wanted to stop him before things escalated, but she was hesitant.

Just then, you hear the door open once more. Heeseung notices you in a wrist lock of Gabe’s grip. Not wasting any time, he walks in, leaving all gestures of formality out the window.

He was oddly calm. Not at all displaying the heated, short-fused aggression as he did in the past.

Instead, he walked over towards your side in a nonchalant manner, keeping steady eye contact with Gabe.

His hands were tucked in the pockets of his straight jeans, the white t shirt draping his upper body was deceiving as it made him appear slenderer, hindering anyone to see how he was truly built underneath, and his shaggy hair was yet again, crowned by his fitted baseball cap.

He showered a certain aura into the way he was conducting himself as he walks towards you, still eyeing Gabe.

He was setting the tone, making it aware that he has no reason to waste his energy in getting angry, and that he had the luxury to be this calm. Because he knew, now that he was there, Gabe wasn’t going to do anything.

Heeseung sensed the fear in Gabe, long before he stepped foot into the room. No matter how much the boy tried to put off an act, Heeseung could see it plain as day and he used it to his advantage.

You felt Gabe’s hand loosen around your wrist and he hastily releases, dropping his hand by his side. He was nervous at seeing Heeseung’s tall and lean body approaching closer towards him, appearing gigantic as he towered above him. Heeseung glared at him and retorted upon seeing Gabe release you.

“Smart move.” Heeseung simply relays to him with a very firm, steady, and slow tone while raising his eyebrow in a fierce manner.

Obviously taunting the man, knowing that not a moment too soon he would have felt the clash of Heeseung’s fist to his face. Fortunately, he was smart enough to release you in time, right before Heeseung planted himself next to you, facing his direction.

Heeseung briefly broke eye contact, turning his head off to the side, he looks down at your wrist, taking a minute to visually examine it for marks. His jet-black gaze drove along your hand, arm, and even up to your shoulders. With that same stern voice, he lets out a warning.

“I wouldn’t touch her ever again. In fact…” Turning his face back to Gabe, he stares directly into his eyes at the last bit of his sentence. “If I were you, I just wouldn’t go near her.” He finishes as he leans his head back, just enough to reveal the exposure of one of his eyes to peer from under the bill of his trusty hat.

Making a sharp, direct, and unbroken eye contact with a very nervous and quiet Gabe.

With the lift of his chin, as he projects his face to look up at the towering stature of Heeseung’s form, Gabe let out a loud gulp, trying to prevent the look of fear to show through upon hearing his warning. Vicky looked as if she saw a ghost. Her hand placed over her mouth in shock as she watches Heeseung plant himself next to you, still eyeing Gabe down with his usual glare. The urge for her to speak overtakes her better judgement as she spat her words out.

“Heeseung…what are you doing here?” He shot a look towards her; it was comparable to the one he gave last night at the party.

“Since when?” Heeseung’s words and tone was direct and very firm towards her.

“When did I ever say you could call me by that name?” His voice was semi hostile towards her, you somewhat felt a little sorry for Vicky as you witness her body legitimately winced back as she lowered her head in embarrassment.

“Sorry…Ethan. Y/N told me she calls you Heeseung so I thought…” Heeseung cuts her off with the shaking of his head as he shot a peeved look to her. That was enough for her to get the point. She went back to her originally question, apparently desperate to get the answer.

“So what are you doing here?” She still was avoiding all eye contact with him.

Looking at Vicky silently for a few seconds. He sets his sights on Gabe, his eyes shot a different type of stabbing glare than the one he gave to Vicky, it was more hostile.

“Saw Gabe’s car in the parking lot. Figured he’d be here with you, and that didn’t sit well with me. So I came up.” Heeseung remarked as his eyes shifted to the side to look at you before look back at Gabe. His lips began to snarl.

“Actually, Gabe anywhere near this building doesn’t sit well with me either…not one bit.” His voice reached a dangerous tone of low, like the growl of an angry lion.

Vicky looked up at his statement, waiting a moment to catch her breath before speaking.

“…I told you we’re good friends. We jus-“ Heeseung snapped his fingers at her and a simple “Quiet.” Emerged from his lips. You’ve never seen him so demeaning towards a woman before, let alone someone like Vicky. You couldn’t hide the sudden breath that escaped from your lips as the shock stung you.

Vicky was taken aback, the glossiness in her eyes overwhelmed her as you witness small drops trinkling down. Heeseung on the other hand, was relentless with his attitude, there was a sense he expelled out through his actions that Vicky had crossed the line.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with your brain, but you should already know that we’re done. In fact, we’ve been done for a long time.” He spoke out, his tone was a little softer this time.

Obviously referring to when he ghosted Vicky, literally days after he agreed to start driving her to classes, yet you also got this feeling that he was letting on a lot more regarding the untimely end of their relationship.

Vicky’s mouth shuttered wide as she heard Heeseung’s statement. She even muttered a “What?” as she looked at him, begging him to clarify. He started to get a look of annoyance as Vicky’s response triggered him to feel as though she read the words “FOOL” on his forehead.

“Vicky…I’ll give it to you, you’re beautiful. You’re like a firework. Any man would be lucky to have you by his side. Any good one would cherish you eternally.” Heeseung’s tone calmed down back to his original relaxed one.

Vicky displayed a look of shock with a very faint smile forming at the corners of her mouth, seemingly flattered by his choice of words in acknowledging her looks. You got a feeling that he may not have expressed many compliments during the time they’ve known each other, which was a lot longer than the time he knew you. Yet, ever since last night, he coated you with words of worship on the very ground you walked on.

Vicky’s smile started to grow bigger, that was until Heeseung took one look at Gabe. His follow-on statement ultimately crushes her.

“But the moment he finds out your priorities are messed up, and that you do messed up things, he’s going to take it all back and resent you.” Silence filled the room, there was a pause filled with deathly stares shared between Gabe, Vicky, and Heeseung.

Heeseung looked over to Gabe and gave him an expectant look, one that hinted that an answer, or an explanation was due to him. He turned his look back to Vicky once more.

“I’m curious now that we’re finally talking about it. Exactly, how long has it been going on Vik? Was it just him or were there others?”

Heeseung’s words and tone became snarky at the last bit. Vicky shot a daring gaze at him, insulted by his statement.

“Is that what you think? You think I slept with a bunch of men behind your back?” Vicky retorted.

“You tell me, I know of at least one.” Heeseung’s words flew right through her as he looked at Gabe when he spoke out.

Vicky’s eyes widened and grew tearful, no way of holding them back, they started drowning out her peachy tinted cheeks. Sobbing, remorsefully, she responds.

“…It’s only been one…sorry…” The “sorry” came out broken as her voice was hiccupping at the sobs of her sadness, the guilt overriding her conscious. The conversation between the two continued.

“When did you find out?”

“I’ve been finding out about it for a while.” Heeseung admitted openly, disclosing Vicky’s infidelity to the room. His voice was much softer and calmer, almost as if he too was feeling remorse.

“Why didn’t you say anything or come to me!” At Vicky’s urging for an answer, Heeseung looked at her rather pitifully. As if he did feel sorry for not telling her sooner, but he maintained the stance of his countenance to reflect that she is wrong, not him.

“Would it have changed anything? With you? Would it have changed you?” Vicky was at a loss for words. Unable to answer his question, she continued sobbing as she stared at the floor.

“I also know…that you had plans.” He let on, earning more surprised looks than what he probably was expecting.

“Like…being unhappy with me, wanting to leave this place…wanting to leave me.” Heeseung continues to disclose all of Vicky’s supposed secrets. He knew of her true feelings and what she had been shamefully doing with Gabe, yet this was the first time he confronted her on the matter.

“…I wouldn’t have done any of it! If you had been just more dedicated into-“ Vicky’s words were cut off by Heeseung, noting the color of his energy, Heeseung’s annoyance reached the peak of its level.

“Stop.” Heeseung simply said. Another dreadful silence continued to cast its mark on everyone before he clarified his interruption.

“I was dedicated.” Heeseungs tone going back to calm. Vicky shook her head in disagreement at his words, in which he responded with raised brows, wide eyes, and a shred of defensiveness as he explained.

“Oh yes, I was. I may not have been dedicated towards what you wanted, but I was dedicated. I was dedicated to you. Beautiful girl saying she loves me. That she wants to be with me. Why wouldn’t I be dedicated?”

Heeseung’s feelings were beginning to come out through his words. “So what then? What? Are you going to sit here and point fingers? Or are you going to continue to ignore me forever? You could of at least told me so I could hav-“ “Moved on?” Heeseung abruptly finished her sentence, continuously looking at her with his brows raised.

Vicky just stared wide eyed, feeling the guilt coming back and punching her gut as she realized that she was being selfish. As hard as it was to admit it, and that she had her reasons for acting this way, she knew she couldn’t keep going in that manner. You had deemed that enough had been said.

You walked and stood in front of Heeseung, next to Vicky. Consoling her by placing your hand on her shoulder and rubbing it, you looked directly into his eyes, also reflecting a look filled with sympathy and comfort. In your mind, they both deserved all the consolation you had to give. You personally didn’t find fault in either one, nor did you feel that one side topped over the other.

The voice of your father emerged from the back of your head; it was of him giving you one of his life lessons. You could hear the shadow of his voice as it grew clear and loud in your brain…

Flashback “Sweetpea…sweetpea where are you?” Your father finds you on the steps leading to the front door.

You sat there, hurt by the actions of your best friend, Denise. A massive event was taking and your school district was asked to nominate a student to sing the National Anthem at the opening of it. You secretly disclosed to Denise that you were going to audition after receiving the encouragement from your choir teacher, in which Denise responded by telling you that all remaining auditions were called off on short notice. Stating that due to her title as class president and working directly with the main staff and the teachers, her sources were valid. It was believable. You also would never have guessed that she would never lie and manipulate you away from a rare opportunity.

The next day you found out that not only did Denise lie about the auditions being called off, but that she went to one that same morning, and to your dismay, she won the nomination. You felt crushed and betrayed and immediately took a bus back home, knowing the school called your parents to notify them of your unexcused absence. Your father knew from all the times you were upset, your confining spot was sitting on the brick steps admiring your mother’s rose garden. After reassuring the school that he would take care of everything, he goes outside and sits right next to you.

“Come here my girl. Tell papa all your problems, now, what’s wrong?” You explained to your father of everything that had happened. He nodded and looked at you with a smile, noticing your tearful eyes and sulky attitude, he found it adorable and cherished it, even though he knew you were upset.

He was a father after all, everything you did was heartwarming to him, it didn’t matter if it was relating to anger, sadness, confusion, or joy. Just the fact that he gets to experience every aspect of you, made him as a father, develop a fondness for moments such as this one right now. He cherished every single one, no matter if it was good or bad. He always filled the setting with a smile of gratitude, enjoying it while he can, because he knew someday, he was going to have to say goodbye to it.

“You know Y/N…. life works mysteriously in strange ways. There are countless times where we think we have it all figured out, come to realize we don’t. We think we know what we want in life, yet we go on trying to find out the meaning of it.”

You remained in place as your hands cupped your cheeks out of frustration as you stared at your mother’s roses while listening to your fathers’ words, trying to find the sense in it.

“Sometimes…when we want to be happy…we go looking for it, sometimes going into the wrong places to find it. We as humans, we want to be happy. We want to be happy so much, that we end up hurting ourselves and our loved ones in the process.”

You were 15 at the time when your father gave you that lesson. As you grew; graduating high school, enrolling into college, moving into a dorm, making new friends, and most importantly, meeting Heeseung, you didn’t understand your father’s lesson until the night Samuel sent you the email. You understood it with Heeseung’s help and now, you understood clearly as you examined the situation between the group, to even include Gabe.

Looking at Heeseung, you silently mouthed the words “I love you” to him and gave him an endearing look as you continued to console Vicky while she sobbed. Heeseung softly smiled back. In a moment such as this one, he would give anything to pause time to savor it.

You hugged Vicky, gently cradling her face with your chest as you softly signaled Heeseung to stand firm, hinting that you were going to talk with Vicky. You turned to look at Gabe, who was displaying a look of frustration and embarrassment, you politely asked him to step out for a moment so that you could speak with Vicky, assuring him that she will meet with him afterwards. You appealed to him as a human being, even if he had been less than of an impeccable one.

He didn’t argue or display any form of objection, he couldn’t, not with Heeseung standing there. He simply nodded and walked out.

You walked Vicky to her bed, sitting right next to her. She couldn’t stop crying, it was tough for her but the moment she was next to you feeling the comfort of your arms around her shoulders, she spilled out a line of “I’m sorry” towards Heeseung.

You gently shushed her, trying to have her focus on catching her breath as the sobs were already shortening each one, let alone her repeatedly apologizing. Finally reaching a level of stability in her breathing and sobbing, Vicky spoke first.

“Are you…both together?” She looked down at her hands as she asked. You were beyond surprised at her question, you did good for the most part in maintaining your composure, but your eyes gave it away as they grew wide as you looked right back at her, your arm still wrapped around her shoulder in comfort.

Heeseung didn’t looked surprised, he looked as if he expected her to know. You were beginning to question yourself if he possibly told her before she came back to the dorm but found it highly unlikely since you were certain that he had no interaction with her until this very moment.

Heeseung merely stood there, facing the both of you as you sat on the edge of her bed. Just as you appealed to Gabe, Heeseung appealed to Vicky as he began to explain yourselves.

“If you’re mad…take it out on me, not her.” His eyes no longer looking at Vicky, instead he reflected a tired eye look as he stared at the floor beneath your feet.

“I just…why? I don’t understand. What happened with your boyfriend?” She turns to you as she mentioned Samuel, before facing back to Heeseung and proceeding.

“What happened to you? Just somebody…please explain this to me.”

You were at a loss for words, you didn’t know how to explain, there was no way she would understand unless she had been in your shoes and experienced every second of what you went through with Samuel. Heeseung took over the conversation.

“I never meant to hurt you. I’m not entirely sure if I caused you to do act the way that you did. I just knew that I wasn’t making you happy, therefore you made me unhappy.” Heeseung’s face almost looked expressionless, just a hint of tired was marked.

“Why…I really do love you I just…why couldn’t you just be more like…like…” she stopped at mid-sentence, realizing that was she was saying only proved Heeseung’s point.

“I can change a lot of things Vik, but there are some things you have to accept. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to hurt…and I don’t want to be hurt.” Heeseung concluded his side of the argument.

Vicky simply stared at his face as his eyes remained glued to the floor. She turns to you with her wide and swollen eyes, she asks you a question that you weren’t prepared to answer, especially given that you and Heeseung just established an intimate relationship last night. You both haven’t tread near the topic of your relationship and the details of it, you just knew in your heart that you cared deeply for him and that you didn’t want to be without him, but that was something you had kept to yourself. That was up until Vicky asked you,

“Y/N…do you love…do you love him?” You silently gulped.

Your eyes moved over to the window next to Vickys bed, then moved it back to look the other way towards her desk. With Heeseung standing in front of the both of you, he appeared to look just as interested in your answer as Vicky was. The spotlight was on you, having no idea how it ended up being that way considering this started off as a matter between Heeseung and Vicky.

With newfound bravery, you relayed your answer by softly biting your lower lip, subtly squinting your eyes shut and nodding in the affirmative. You heard Heeseung’s smirk as a breath of satisfaction escaped his lips. You slowly opened your eyes but didn’t have the courage to look at Vicky and felt too shy to look at Heeseung. It was your turn to stare at the floor.

Vicky turned her head and closed her eyes. You couldn’t tell if she looked hurt, tired even, or maybe both. You were prepared for a reaction that would include lashing out, screaming, crying, and insults flying at you.

Yet, none of that happened. Vicky simply turned back to you and took your hand; her tears were beginning to stream again as she looked at you with a rather hopeful look on her face.

“You know…I never meant to hurt him. Right?” You answered her question by nodding once more, you just couldn’t find your voice in this situation, all you could do was nod.

“But I did…I did hurt him.” Vicky let out a slight smile, not out of joy or sadness, it was a smile of relief.

“Take care of him. If anyone could, it’s you Y/N.” She says to you as she gently squeezed your hand. Vicky had her flaws, but her heart was not one of them. You always knew she was kind and understanding, maybe not towards herself, but with you, she never ceases to amaze with her warmth.

With your hand still in her grip, she smiles at you upon receiving your answer, giving you reassurance that she wasn’t mad or holding anything against you. She then turned to face Heeseung, gently releasing your hand after one last squeeze, and stood up to confront him.

“I already know you’ll be good. You always have been to me. And I’m sorry for not being better, my lack of judgment got the better of me. I never realized that what I wanted the most in life…I already had it. The thought of getting spoiled with a life of comfort, stability, and traveling, that all was so appealing, and I just got lost in it all. And I’m sorry. Because now I truly know…especially now that I know I’ve lost it for good…those things don’t matter compared to having you, Heeseung.”

She smiled, ignoring his snapping from earlier when he warded her from using his birth name.

She pulls him in by his neck and hugs him. It was the most compassionate one you had seen between the two, all the ones that she had with Gabe couldn’t compare. Even though you were grateful for how things were turning out, you were feeling saddened at the sight of her giving Heeseung a final embrace, it was only natural, they had history. The trophies they collected within the time they had known each other was way more than what you shared with Samuel. You could only imagine just how many laughs, tears, screams, and kisses her embrace was putting an end to.

Heeseung took both his hands out of his pockets, yet only one returned Vicky’s embrace as he wrapped it around her upper back, softly admitting a gentle rub as he shifted his gaze to various spots on the floor. He patted at her shoulder blade, hinting to her it was time to let him go, and she did.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Hope you had a fun week !! I was curious how would a trip to the amusement park go for the shepherds?

Thank you so much, it was literally one of the best trips I've ever gone on! :) And ooh, great question! Can you imagine all of the Shepherds going to an amusement park together?? The chaos... 🎠🎡

Blade: amusement parks are probably a bit too loud, crowded, and chaotic for him to be really gung-ho about, but he'd go! He probably wouldn't say too much but would patiently and long-sufferingly go on every ride everyone else wanted to go on... but he's not easily impressed, so you'd go on an intense rollercoaster and glance back and his face would be like 😐 gfldgjfdlg but then once night fell and you got him into one of those haunted houses, he'd get really tense and probably end up punching some poor carnival worker through the mirror maze!

Trouble: amusement parks are HIS JAM, I think he'd go to one on a first date if he could! He'd want to hit up all the most thrilling and intense roller coasters, eat all of the most indulgent, greasiest food, and play all of the carnival games! He 100% would love to show off his skills at those shooting games and win everyone fat prizes. By the time it was time to head back, he'd probably pass tf out in the backseat or on the train home from all of the sugar he inhaled, but he'd be having a grand old time all day!

Tallys: she's Not About that amusement park life, but she'd go along just to please everyone else! I think she'd mostly just be chilling in the under the umbrella of a shaded table in her sunglasses, reading a book or watching everyone else go on the coasters or taking pictures for them (totally of her own accord)! If she's in a more festive mood, I think she'd go for the calmer, chiller rides, like the "It's a Small World"-style boat rides or perhaps renting a tandem bike, something like that!

Shery: she'd be the person who brought a big backpack full of snacks and water and first-aid stuff for everyone else, because she knows Blade is going to need sunscreen but won't bring it on his person himself, and Trouble is going to need water after he almost throws up from the inevitable funnel-cake eating contest with Ayla and Red, and etc.! She'd wear a big sun hat and look very cute, and would be drawn to all the cute stuff at the amusement park, like taking a selfie with the big mascots and the princesses and etc.! She would definitely not want to go on any coasters or intense rides, but she'd be happy to watch on the sidelines with Tallys!

idk why i put that particular gif glfjgldfjgfd i just remembered amagi brilliant park and it made me laugh

Riel: he thinks amusement parks are unsanitary cesspits for howling ape children and plebs, so it would take a LOT of convincing for anyone to get him to go in lieu of just, like, staying home and working. If he were persuaded to go, he would come wearing shades, gloves, and most likely a dramatic scarf or hat, would refuse to touch anything without sanitizing it first, wouldn't sit unless he could perch on his handkerchief, and definitely wouldn't go on any rides, citing horrific accident and injury statistics anytime Trouble called him a baby for not going on the Steel Vengeance: Devil's Thunder 365 ride. He might nibble on some food or annoy some psychics or those carnival barker people who guess your weight or something, though!

Chase: oh boy, if you think his normal energy is high, wait until you see his Amusement Park Energy! He's all over the place, serving as the group's enthusiastic tour guide except he has no idea where he's going and is just picking sights and locations at random, easily distracted by any loud color, sight, or sound that passes his way. He is having a GRAND old time! You have to keep a close eye on him, though, because he might be slipping stray treats off of stalls and turning up with a whole smorgasbord in his hands, conning surly stall workers out of their stuffed animals and passing them to kids on the sly, pretending that his seatbelt isn't working on the worst ride possible just to freak the other passengers out, or pretending to lean and go "whoaaaaa!" against the Ferris Wheel cart just to aggravate Riel's vertigo and Red's panic instinct. He is also definitely the one playing 'matchmaker' and pairing people off to go through the haunted house together, ostensibly also to troll and maximize the memories/drama. It's chaotic but he's the life of the party and everyone is having a great time!

Halek: he's content to just chill and let everyone else have a raucous time. He is particularly interested in the amusement park food and can be found slouched on various benches around the park eating an ice cream cone or slowly chewing a soft pretzel while keeping one hand up to keep the sun out of his eyes. Comically, he has also been found with his overly-tall body slumped over one of the horses on the carousel and crammed into a tiny kid's roller coaster, which is just a scream for everyone else. No explanation for why he felt compelled to ride the Dumbo ride, he just wanted to feel the breeze in his hair!

Red: he is just vibing, looking forward to having a corndog, maybe some shaved ice or cotton candy: basically the normal amusement park experience! He's the type of person to actively collect all of the park brochures and maps, plan out the most efficient route, have an exact itinerary with the best ride times and accounting for lines and rushes... but for the benefit of the group, he could take or leave really any of the rides! He's most interested in the visual displays, like shows, plays, parades, exhibits, and fireworks displays!

Ayla: she's an adrenaline junkie, so she's racing Trouble to get to all of the most extreme rides and screaming her lungs out on the steepest drops and scariest roller coasters. She doesn't have time for any of the sissy stuff, she wants THRILLS! She's the type to be really impatient and want to either cut in line or complain loudly when other people either cut or dawdle. She can get so focused on the next ride that she'll barrel through a mascot, bowl over a princess, or even run through a pack of unsuspecting children!

Briony: she's extremely memory and experience-based, so her number #1 priority is that everyone is having a good time and laughing and making lots of joyous memories. To that end, she wants to do everything and is anxious to cram it all into one day! (This is where Red is very helpful.) She can come off as mother hen-y or bossy by the way she herds everyone to the next destination, but she actually brings order to the chaos and ensures they actually get to do stuff and stay together instead of just scattering to the four winds. She has a very romanticized idea of amusement parks in her head, so she really wants to do things like win a prize at the stalls, sit in the Ferris Wheel and see the fireworks, share an ice cream cone with someone, that sort of thing, and she either gets obsessive (prizes) or disappointed if it doesn't turn out the way she thought (the ice cream splats on the ground, the fireworks are blocked by trees, etc.)!

Lavinet: she's the group photographer and is the one taking pictures of everything, whether or not she's in the actual photos herself. Food and group candid shots feature prominently in her work, which are posted to social media accordingly. She is dressed entirely too posh for the occasion and refuses to go on coasters that could whip her hair around; she also decided to wear high heels, for some reason. She likes doing the fun, kitschy stuff like getting her fortune drawn at the psychic stall or shopping. If the amusement park is attached to a hotel, she is also very interested in spending some time at the spa or pampering herself there!

Caine: it's far more likely that he's at the amusement park with friends of his own age rather than traipsing around with the adults, and he'd be just a little rocket zooming around to all of the rides with a sticky, half-melted stick of cotton candy clutched in his hand and a wad of huge stuffed animals slung over his shoulder!

#i liberally applied carnival tropes into the amusement park setting and i'm not sorry #are we at the county fair or disneyland #who knows #amusement park #theme park #carnival #fair #AU #modern AU #all characters

[paracosm-writing]

00 | "𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞"

𝖎𝖓 𝖛𝖆𝖎𝖓 | Reiner Braun

Link to multi-fic masterpost.

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader

Word Count - 1.5K

Song – Saw You In A Dream// The Japanese House

Synopsis: Reiner Braun sees a series of memories as a young boy and falls in love with the girl who stars in them. Upon discovering that this girl is you, an Eldian on an island of devils, Reiner vows to save you from the impending doom his memories foretell. But will his efforts be in vain?

TW: slight Yandere! Reiner, angst, Y/N death, toxic/abusive relationships, canon-divergent

A/N: This is so weird to put online after literally daydreaming/brainstorming this plot since last year. Feedback is welcomed and if you want to be added to a taglist just message me.

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“I just wanna know that in the end it was all worth it.

The pain, the agony, the death.

That at the end of it all we can say;

‘It was for the best.’

Do you know…

What I mean?”

You sat in the overgrown grass, sprouting up from green to yellow at the tips. Watching the sun dip low to kiss the earth. From orange to a deep pink that illuminated the faint stars in the afternoon sky. Patiently, eyes welling with tears, waiting for an answer.

Reiner started to speak, compelled to assure you, compelled to tell you;

It was worth every bit.

But he was swept away.

Your eyes shifted, the sun rose in the sky, the breeze rustled past the both of you, and several lifetimes seemed to pass too quickly for Reiner to decipher – stopping in the midst of labor to watch seagulls drifting in the morning sky, you squinting beneath the sun’s gaze.

“I wonder what it’s like,” you murmured. “To have wings like that. They have no idea how lucky they are.”

Reiner reached for you. To tell you something so heavy his heart weighed down his chest but thought against it.

Because in this very moment, you were blissfully unaware and freer than the birds you admired so wistfully.

He envied you. Like the poor envied the rich, with malice and adoration. Love and hate, but love won over and he swept you up in his arms, placed you on his shoulders and told you to fly. Your rambunctious laughter echoed for miles.

Never had he wanted to live in someone’s laugh, falling and falling into a bed full of wildflowers.

He flipped the pages of an old, ancient book, the brittle parchment hissing with every turn. Your index finger rested on a drawing of a flower that filled a whole page, dirt and bits of flower petals embedded under your fingernails. And you protested about there not being enough flowers, and pronounced ‘red dahlia’ all wrong, and he started to tell you something.

Something that weighed on his heart but he could not remember.

Only one thought he could recall; that if he said anything, he would surrender such a precious moment.

Instead, he basked in your smile as warm as the noonday sun as you rode horses out on an open field.

He was a yard ahead of you and your warm, frustrated smile twisted his insides like the sharp end of a bayonet. The pain made him yearn for something, excitement like he had never known searing through his entire body like a hot iron.

“It’s not fair, you’re so good at everything,” you whined but you were still smiling so fondly.

No one had ever smiled at him in such a way and he wanted to – owed it to you – to say something.

Yet before he could speak you lied underneath a night sky and wondered aloud, “If I need you, will you know? Will you always come and find me?” Voice so small, as if even the slightest reprimand would make you shrivel up and disappear.

He had the urge to tell you you could scream for him in your thoughts and he would still hear you.

He would fight like hell to get to you.

And he needed to tell you something.

But your eyes were on his for the last time. Glassy and afraid. Staring up at him as you breathed your last breath, cradled in his arms, the last pleas for your life on your lips. Blood soaked his clothes. Marred your face.

He had not come to get you, and it hadn’t been worth It in the end.

“Protect her,” someone screamed a strangled cry in the distance. “You just had to protect her-“

“I will protect her!” He shouted back, rage and grief pulsing through him. Lifting him up from his surroundings until all he could see was red. The color of your blood. Your tears. In the blood that seeped from his hand as he bit down hard--

And he awoke with a sob, sitting upright so quickly his head spun and black splotches filled his vision. His heart raced in his chest, and his breath ran from him. As if to find where you might lay, hollow and unmoving, and fill you up again.

He desperately tried to untangle himself from his covers, trying to get to you. To protect you so your eyes would always be alive with wonder and your smile would always be warm.

Reiner managed to get free and stumble on to the cold, wooden floor, heart galloping so loudly with fear that he heard it in his ears.

His mother, Karina, found him. Crawling in vain, tears streaming down his face, muttering to himself about a girl he’d saw in a dream.

“There, there, Reiner,” she had cooed, taking her son in her arms. “It was just a bad dream.”

“But-but,” Reiner managed, your dead, lifeless eyes engraved in his mind. “It was, like, I saw her. In a memory.”

Still, Karina ruffled his hair, holding him close. “When you become a warrior, you’ll never have to worry about someone getting hurt ever again. Your father will come back to us, and we’ll finally be a family. And no one will want to hurt us because they will finally understand we are good Eldian people,

You must protect us, Reiner.

From those island devils.

It’ll all be worth it in the end, you’ll see.”

When Reiner enrolled in the Warrior program, he thought of that dream. The one he’d had the night before enrollment and he imagined he was coming to you, the strange girl in the dream, to tell you he was a warrior.

Would that keep you smiling that warm smile that reached your eyes as if your whole body was alight? A smile not even his mother could muster from bearing the weight of his ancestors’ sins?

Would it keep you alive?

Then he felt embarrassed, ashamed even, that he was considering a silly dream.

And ran into the depths of his future.

➳

Meanwhile, across the sea, in a meadow field in Shigashina, you watched your mother close the storybook in her hands as she finished her last sentence.

“Thus, the knight defeated the dragon, rescued the princess, and they lived happily ever after. What a nice fairytale, isn’t it, y/n?”

Usually, you liked hearing your mother read her fairytales but that morning you couldn’t ignore the dark circles under your mother’s eyes and the bruise she hid with the sweep of her hair. With every passing day since your mother had remarried – no, even further than that, since your father had gone on a scouting expedition and never came back, you were reminded more and more that fairytales were not real.

You considered the titans outside the walls, waiting to devour humanity, and your mother waiting for your stepfather to change and wished aloud, “I wish I was a knight and then I could rescue us and we’d live happily ever after.”

Your mother had gasped, stricken-faced and speechless.

Before snatching your hands into hers and holding you steady. “Y/N L/N, you take that back right now. There is nothing wrong with the way we live. We could be in an even worse position without your father, you hear me?”

You started to protest, but she didn’t give you a moment to speak.

“Would you rather us live in the Underground? With no one to protect us? Because that’s what would have happened if he hadn’t shown us kindness. Are you really that ungrateful?”

She clutched your hands so harshly that you were brought to tears, before guiltily loosening her grip and pulling you into her arms. Her sobs reverberated against the small of your back as she buried her face into your eight-year-old frame.

“It’ll all work out in the end, baby,” she whispered as if she were convincing herself. “I promise.”

Laying in bed that night, you selfishly dreamed that there was a knight coming to save you. To tear down the infrastructure of your small little house in Shigashina. He’d run a sword through your enemies. He’d shield you from the titans. He’d reach for your hand, pull you out of the cold rubble of your home and he would take you away.

Somewhere far where no titans roamed the land and you ran free beneath the pretty birds that soared the blue skies.

But then the dream turned into a nightmare, the knight into a monster, who scooped you up in his large hand and swallowed you whole.

You woke up with a start as you were falling into the abyss but did not cry.

Instead, you looked out your window, waiting for the sun to rise high and kiss the sky. And you decided even if your knight was a titan, it would still be worth it all if you could get free.

#reiner braun #reiner #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk x reader #aot x reader #reiner braun x you #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #reiner x you #reiner x y/n #snk reiner #aot reiner #angst #reiner braun angst #multi-fic #in vain

[autisticandroids]

what do you think of wincest? you seem pretty pro ship

my opinion of wincest is as follows:

- personally, i dislike it. i think it’s gross and don’t want to see it, because incest squicks me out like it does most people. there are actually parts of spn, especially the early seasons, which i find difficult to watch because the incest subtext is so strong. this is one of the reasons i’m not as big a fan of 1-3: just HUGE amounts of incest subtext. like, it’s yucky to me. even 4-5 have it, though not as much since cas and to a lesser extent ruby are there to like, break up the pair, which is a real relief. it calms down significantly in the later seasons, though it still pops up occasionally in an unpleasant way. this is why you cannot base your show on the xfiles and then make your two main characters related.

- theoretically, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding a fictional dynamic compelling. hell, the writers of supernatural sure seem to find it compelling! the subtext is unbearable, and imo, there’s a reasonable argument to be made that the winchester brothers’ relationship is textually emotionally incestuous, which is like. yeah add that on the pile of ways that their dynamic is abusive and toxic. 

and more specifically, i find it hysterical when destiel shippers get on their moral high horse about ethics in shipping. like, my friends, destiel is perhaps the glassest house there is when it comes to ethics in shipping. in ANY OTHER FANDOM we would be the problematic pairing that only freaks ship. it’s just that supernatural has so much incest subtext that the non-incest ship gets to be the unproblematic one by default. like destiel is a comparatively healthy fish in an unbelievably toxic pond. in any other pond destiel would be the toxic fish.

- practically, i dislike wincest shippers because they are mostly assholes. i’m sure there’s a few okay ones, but on the whole they tend to suck. this is true for several reasons.

supernatural has a large conservative fandom, including conservative transformative fans. like, specifically, the show is very appealing to homophobes because of like. the way that it is. you know. so wincest appeals specifically to homophobic fans for whom the incest taboo and the gay taboo are of about equal strength - they see being gay as so immoral that you might as well be fucking your sibling. this is i think why wincest shippers tend to be conservative, and it’s DEFINITELY part of the reason why it’s so common to find wincest shippers who also insist that dean is straight. my friend hannah has some things to say on this topic here.

if i was a samgirl i would wake up every single day mad about wincest and go to sleep every single day mad about wincest, because it must be INESCAPABLE in sam content. like, most fandom content is tied to ships in some manner, and the biggest ship for sam is wincest. and that has gotta suck.

related to my last point, in order for a “ship and let ship” mindset to be reasonable, the objectionable content in question must be made easy to avoid. and wincest isn’t, it’s everywhere. it’s easier these days because there are fewer wincest shippers, but back in the day it was just constant. and even now, like. the other day somebody wrote a destiel fic on my destiel post, but it was destiel and implies wincest. on my destiel and only destiel post. like, that’s like putting rape porn on someone else’s post about sex. like, i think it’s important that people be allowed to write rape porn, because if they’re not allowed to write rape porn, they’ll do it anyway (rape fantasy is one of the five most common sexual fantasies among women, iirc) but since they’re not allowed to write it, they’ll 1) not warn for it and 2) come up with justifications as to why it’s not really rape. which are both worse than just acknowledging it and slapping warnings on it. but you shouldn’t basically send people rape porn unprompted, that’s what they call a dick move. like that crosses a line. in the case of the person who put wincest on my post, i messaged her about it and she apologized and explained that she hadn’t participated in fandom in ten years, and had only gotten back in after the destiel confession, which is like. that’s reasonable. social etiquette re:wincest is different now. but there are plenty of wincest shippers who DON’T have that excuse and who make themselves inescapable anyway.

to quote my friend hannah again, “my grand unified theory is that whatever it is that makes wincest shippers act like That is also shared by jaime/cersei shippers. it’s the narcissistic, misanthropic fantasy of a tiny closed world containing only two siblings who don’t need or care about anyone else and have absolutely no boundaries with each other”

there is a real serious difference between liking wincest in 2005 and liking it in 2021. destiel is such a juggernaut, and fandom culture has changed so much in regards to “problematic” content, that anyone who is still a wincest shipper in 2021 is either 1) just a complete stubborn asshole or 2) living in a fandom time capsule, and both of those things are not necessarily inherently bad, but (1) can lead to just having a rather unpleasant personality, and (2) can lead to being surrounded by levels of homophobia, misogyny, and racism that aren’t usually tolerated by modern fandom

anyway. i’m not “pro-ship” because calling yourself a proshipper or an antishipper is an annoying habit for whiny babies and i refuse to participate.

#incest tw #Anonymous #spn #asks #toxic cw #abuse tw #rape tw

[leossmoonn]

Little Pierce || Part 1

part 2 | masterlist

pairing - stefan salvatore x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

summary - you are katherine pierce’s little sister and you meet stefan salvatore for the first time (takes place in 1864, AU where stefan and katherine were never together, and she chose damon, so the lines will be switched and alterd a lil from the scene where the show first shows Katherine and stuff)

warnings - none

————

*gif isn't mine*

"Stefan!" Damon smiled and ran out of the house with the ball.

"Wait, where did you learn this game?" Stefan asked and went across the yard from his brother.

"Camp outside of Atlana. One of the officers picked it up from Harvard. Catch!" Damon answered and threw the ball to Stefan.

Stefan caught it with ease, another question forming in his brain. "What, wait. What are the rules?"

Damon smiled and ran to Stefan, trying to take the ball from him. Stefan dodged his brother. His hold on the ball was firm.

Then, Katherine Pierce exited the house. The two boys looked over her fondly and smiled. She looked stunning in her lavender-coloured dress.

"Who needs rules?" Katherine smiled at them.

Both brothers stopped in their tracks. They went over to Katherine as she walked down the steps of the porch.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked.

"Uh, well, you could uh- you could get hurt," Damon said. "We like to play rough."

"Well, I'd like to think that I play rougher," she giggled and took the ball away from Stefan.

Damon ran after her while Stefan stood and admired the couple. They were so happy. So full of passion and love. Stefan wished he had someone like Katherine.

As if the world could read his thoughts, a carriage came through the gates of the Salvatore house. The horses stopped in front of the three. Katherine gave the ball to Damon, lifting her skirt and walking over to the carriage. Stefan watched in confusion as a young girl stepped out. Stefan couldn't believe his eyes. She was absolutely gorgeous.

She was wearing a baby-blue dress. The sleeves were puffed out, much like Katherine's. Dark blue lace lined the sides of her dress and the hem of the skirt. Her lashes were curled and framed her eyes seductively, her lips were painted maroon red. 

"Looks pretty, doesn't she?" Damon asked and nudged Stefan.

Stefan blushed and nodded. "She's beautiful."

Katherine turned to the boys and held the girl's hand and walked to them.

"Gentlemen, this is my younger sister. Y/n Pierce," Katherine introduced her to them.

Y/n looked over the boys. She already knew Damon. Not from meeting, but from her sister talking about him. She recognized the other boy, Stefan Salvatore, from Katherine also mentioning him while talking about Damon. Stefan was the one who caught her eye, and it was apparent that she caught his.

"Hello," Y/n smiled and curtsied.

"Hello. It's lovely to meet you, Miss Pierce. Katherine has talked about you a lot. I'm Damon Salvatore," Damon smiled and bowed.

Y/n nodded and held her hand out.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Salvatore. My sister has talked a lot about you, too." she smiled.

Damon shook her hand. "You can call me Damon."

Y/n nodded and turned her attention to Stefan. Her eyes scanned over him and she couldn't help but smirk at his burning stare. He was handsome, that was obvious. His light brown hair was combed back, a few strands resting on his forehead. He was wearing a white-button up with beige pants and brown suspenders. He had a warm smile resting upon his lips. It made her wonder what his lips tasted like, and if he was a good kisser or not.

"Hi, I'm Stefan Salvatore. It's nice to meet you, Miss Pierce. You can call me Stefan," he smiled and bowed.

"It's nice to meet you, Stefan," Y/n smiled and held her hand out.

As Stefan shook her hand, his heart fluttered when she said his name. He loved the way his named rolled off her tongue with such ease. He also loved the way his skin tingled when their hands touch, and so did Y/n.

"You two can call me Y/n. It can be quite confusing between Kathie and I if people call us 'Miss Pierce' when we are together," Y/n said.

Both of them smiled and nodded. Stefan and her held eye contact, both raking their eyes over each other. 

Katherine noticed both of their gazes on each other and smiled. “Damon, why don’t you show me that new suit of yours.”

Damon nodded and took Katherine’s hand, leaving the two alone. 

“Oh! And Stefan?” Katherine called from across the courtyard. 

“Yes, Katherine?” Stefan turned to her. 

“Show Y/n the garden, will you?” She smiled and winked. 

Stefan blushed and turned back to Y/n. He held out his arm for her to take. “Shall we?”

Y/n nodded politely, but her smile showed excitement. She hooked her arm around his and held her dress-skirt up with her other hand. Stefan walked them both in silence. The silence was nice, but a tad awkward considering two were still strangers. So, Y/n decided to make a little small talk. 

“So, how old are you in contrast to Damon?” 

“I am 7 years younger than him,” he said. 

“Ah. Did you just turn 16?” You asked. 

“Yes,” he smiled. “How about you?”

“I’m 16 as well,” you said. 

“Lovely. What is your favorite color?” Stefan asked. “Hmm, purple. How about you?”

“Blue,” he smiled. 

You smiled and leaned into him a little. “What are your ambitions?” 

“I would love to be a doctor. You?” Stefan asked. 

“A doctor, as well. It’s hard to find work, though. With the war and all. You’re very lucky you can do more things. Be greater,” she said sadly. 

Stefan nodded, “Yes, but, the Pierce family is wealthy. Who says you can’t be a doctor?”

“The world, Stefan. Katherine. My father,” Y/n laughed sourly. 

“Well, I think you could do it. You’d make an amazing doctor, Y/n.”

She looked at Stefan and stared into his forest green eyes, and smiled. “Thank you, Stefan. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I can already tell you are an amazing woman.”

“A bit forward, are we?” She giggled. 

Stefan blushed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright. Kathie is pretty forward, too. The things I’ve seen her say to men over the years have left them speechless, and her giggling for hours,” Y/n chuckled. 

“Yes, I see that with Damon,” Stefan chuckled. 

Y/n hummed and looked around the garden. Her eyes lit up as she saw a Madonna Lily. 

“Oh! These are my favorite!” She exclaimed. She ran over to the flowers, slowing down and smelling them. 

“They are quite beautiful,” Stefan said behind her. 

Y/n hummed in agreement. 

“But not as beautiful as you.”

Y/n stopped smelling the flowers and turned slowly to Stefan. She put her hands on his biceps, feeling his muscles from under his shirt. It made his heart flutter and more nervous since using the pick-up line. 

“Oh, really?” Y/n smiled. 

“Yes,” he smiled back at her and leaned in. 

Y/n leaned in more, their lips almost touching. Her eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips. Her heart quickened and veins grew under her eyes. She quickly hid her face from him, not wanting him to find out her secret. 

“Y/n, it’s okay. I know about you,” Stefan said and put his hand on her cheek. 

“You do?” Y/n asked, surprised. 

Stefan hummed and turned her head gently to him. 

“How?” Y/n asked. 

“Katherine told me and Damon. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me,” he said. 

Y/n looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but the truth. She knew he could trust him and therefore, promised herself to never compel him. Not like Katherine did to Damon. 

Y/n nodded and leaned into him, again. 

“Mind if I kiss you, then?” She asked. 

“No, I do not,” Stefan smiled. 

Y/n smiled and leaned in to press her lips against his. Fireworks exploded in their minds. Stefan put his hands gently on her waist, not wanting to overstep his boundaries, but pulled him close, their bodies colliding. She smiled as she felt Stefan’s surprise. 

Y/n was the first one to pull away. She ran her fingers through his hair, messing it up in the process. 

“Would you like to accompany me to a party at my house next weekend?” She asked. 

Stefan smiled and nodded. “I would love to.”

Y/n smiled and kissed his cheek. “Perfect. Walk me back to my carriage, Stefan?”

“Of course, Y/n,” Stefan smiled at you. 

————

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[connordavidscamera]

Living, Learning, and Filming Ch. 2 | Connor Brashier

A/n: This is the rewritten version of this chapter which was originally posted on my Shawn account.

Summary: Days spent together could bring you and Connor closer… or bring someone else closer.

Warnings: is this a little jealous!Connor? 

Word count: 1.7k

***

Week 2

"Have you ever been in love?" Connor asks me.

I shake my head and tap a little at a spot on my nose. "I've been infatuated with a person. But no, never in love."

"Can you see yourself falling in love?"

I purse my lips, thinking it over. "Someday. I think maybe it just isn't the time for me yet. But it would be nice, I think, to find that comfort in someone. That someone that you want to spend every waking moment with."

I cringe at my answer, not because of what it was, but because in my head I can still see his face fall after I said it. He's so sure that I'll fall in love with him, but he's forgotten that this is a game. If one of us falls in love, we lose. But I guess we never discussed what would happen… if we both fell in love.

iMessage from: Hubby ;)

How's the editing going?

iMessage to: Hubby ;)

Think I need a break. Been at it for 3 hrs

iMessage from: Hubby ;)

Was hoping you'd say that

Before I even have the chance to ask what he means, his face appears on my phone. 

"What do you mean you're glad I said that?" I ask immediately after answering his FaceTime call.

"Well hello to you too."

I sigh, "Hi, Connor. Now what did you mean?"

"Come outside."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm taking you to my place."

"And again I ask, why?"

"Because I want to hang out and Brian isn't home,” he says as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Thought we could watch a movie or something."

"Connor, I really need to get this editing done. We have that check at the end of the week and -"

"So bring your computer. I can help if you need me to. Just come out, please? I’m bored,” he whines.

“But if I go-”

“If you don’t come down in five minutes I’m going up and getting you myself.”

“You don’t have my code.”

“I have another friend that lives in these dorms, I can have him let me in.”

I groan, “You’re too much. I’m not even ready. I haven’t put makeup on or anything.”

“Yeah, like you need it. Just put some shoes on and get your cute ass down here.”

I roll my eyes, “Whatever. I’ll see you in a minute.” I hang up before he can say something smug, which is likely. 

I slip into my favorite pair of jeans because, sorry Connor, but sweatpants is not an option right now. We’re not close enough for that.

---

“Y/n, look at me real quick,” I hear Connor’s voice from beside me and I sigh, rubbing my tired eyes.

“What?” I dare to glance over at him and he has his camera in front of his face, which causes me to cover mine. “No! Not now,” I whine, turning away from him, but he keeps recording. I try to focus on the overwhelming amount of video clips I have on the screen in front of me, but he’s distracting, annoyingly so. “Connor, I have to work on this.”

“Whatcha working on?”

“Our project, now please. Put that away,” I go to shove the camera away from me, but he catches my hand and laces our fingers. 

“Yeah, I’m working on it too. Gotta get you to fall in love with me somehow right?

I hum in response, feeling my cheeks burning up. His skin is so warm, and surprisingly smooth, I almost don’t want to let go. Almost. “Can I have my hand back, please?”

“Sure,” he lets go, but only after pressing a kiss to the top of my wrist. “Hey,” he says a minute later, camera still in his hand and facing me. 

“Hay is for horses,” I mutter, clicking a few keys on my laptop and watching the playback of the video. 

“What’s it gonna take for you to fall for me?” He asks, ignoring my comment.

“Stop trying so hard,” I admit too quickly. 

“And if I do, do I get to take you on a date?”

“Is this not one?” I smirk, giving him a side glance. The tops of his ears turn red, as do his cheeks, but only slightly. 

“It is if you stop working.”

I can’t help but laugh, “Alright,” I close my laptop and turn my body to face his. “Well?” I rest my arm on the back of the couch, my head leaning against my palm. “If I have to stop working doesn’t that mean you do, too?”

“Okay, okay.” He chuckles, “I can take a hint.”

“No you can’t,” I say jokingly before he turns off the camera. 

“I resent that. I can take hints.”

“Not when it comes to me, Brash.”

“How do you know I’m not just ignoring them?”

“Oh, I know you are. However, that’s not helping your case.”

“Fair enough.” he rests one arm on the back of the couch, his fingers just inches away from my elbow. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“When you said you’d never been in love, it had me thinking.”

“Okay. Should I be scared?”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” He asks it like he needs to know the answer, his eyes so intense, looking into mine the way they are. It’s in this moment that I notice the slight blue that’s incorporated in his pretty green eyes. 

“Umm…” I casually reach for his fingers with my hand that was resting in my lap. “No.”

“Have you ever been close?” He questions, pressing our fingertips together.

“Define close,” I say, only focusing my attention to our hands and the way his skin feels under mine. 

“Have you been kissed?”

“Yes.”

“You've been on a date?”

“If group dates count.”

“Eh,” he tilts his head from side to side. “No, not really.”

“Then no,” I shake my head. “I haven’t.”

“We’re gonna change that,” he says matter of factly.

“Excuse me?”

“One more question.”

“Wait, Connor.” I look up at him and I feel pinned down by his intense stare.

“Why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend?”

I sigh and shrug, “No one’s ever asked to be.”

“They’re goddamn idiots.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I turn my head, focusing my attention to the movie on the screen, my fingers still playing with his, and he doesn’t move away.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” I hum, not bothering to look away from the screen.

“Would you like-?” before he can finish his sentence, the door opens and we quickly separate. Well… I separate.

"Brash, I brought - oh shit. Hi," the redhead says, while the tall curly headed boy behind him closes the door. "You must be y/n," he comes toward us and I stand, - which prompts Connor to do so also - holding my hand out to shake. "I'm Brian, Connor's roommate. And this is Shawn," he announces when we release our hands.

"Hi," I smiled, "I'm y/n. It's a pleasure to meet you both," I say, still shaking Shawn's hand.

"The pleasure is all mine." Shawn says, but he's still not letting go.

Connor clears his throat from beside me and his hand rests on the small of my back, causing my skin to burn under his touch. "Shawn, good to see you. What're you doing here?"

I don't know what compels me to do so, but I sink into Connor's touch, just a little bit, and his arm wraps loosely around my waist. 

Shawn shrugs, "The usual. Got a little studio time, have a show I'm going to." 

Connor nods, "Well make yourself at home. Does anyone want something to drink?" He focuses his eyes on me, "Baby, you want something?"

I know I should tell him not to call me that, but it sounds so good coming from his lips that I just can’t. "I'm okay. Thank you."

---

"It's getting late," I say into Connor's shoulder while we watch Brian and Shawn play FIFA. They both suck at it though and Connor makes sure to tell them every once in a while.

"You want me to take you home?" He looks down at me, and you can tell that his eyes are tired; I'm sure they match mine all the same.

"Please?"

He nods, "I'll go get your stuff from my room," he mumbles just loud enough for the boys to hear.

"You're leaving?" Brian pauses the game while both Connor and I stand up.

"Yeah, I have an eight am tomorrow, so I should get going."

"Be right back," Connor whispers into my ear, his lips touching my skin barely. I almost moan at the contact.

"Hey, y/n, before you go…" Shawn tosses the controller to the side and stands, his long limbs causing him to stumble a bit. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Uh… sure,” I wring my hands together in front of me and nod. 

He walks over to the small kitchen area and leans against the counter. "So, uh… I'm gonna be in town for a few days."

"Okay…" I slip my previously entwined hands into my back pockets.

"And I was wondering, and you don't have to if you're busy or something. But I'd really love to get to know you. And, again, if you're not busy, maybe you'd like to… go on a date? With me."

"Oh." Shawn Mendes is asking me out. He's asking me out and he barely knows me. He's asking me out and -

"There you are," Connor smiles when he sees me, but it quickly falters when he meets eyes with Shawn. "You ready?"

"Yeah, um. Can I meet you in the car? I just want to finish up this conversation?" I'm avoiding his crazy beautiful, green-blue eyes when I speak because I know exactly what my answer will be if I do look into them. 

"Sure hon. Take your time." He brushes my arm with his finger tips before leaving the room.

"There's something going on with you and Connor, isn't there?" Shawn asks after we hear the door close.

"No," I shake my head. "Well… I don't know. It's complicated."

***

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[princessdong]

 One: The Girl In Her Dreams

Masterlist

Of all the possible outcomes of having a human in her house, Joy would've never thought that this one would be the one. After you left the house with Jiu, who seemed more than happy to get out of there, you hadn't left her head.

She could still see your eyes, never quavering with fear, or showing anything but the utmost disinterest, and only to be replaced by fury. Your eyes were thunders after she let go of your throat, and she was sure that you were going to hit her, she even braced herself to it, but nothing came. She even let herself not move a muscle when you practically mocked her by not believing her true self.

Yet, the fact that you were daring enough to get into an apparent abandoned house, and go as far as to explore it, with no regard for who might be in there, it made you so fascinating in her eyes that she couldn't stop thinking about it.

In her whole life, every encounter with a human had two ways: Either they were completely scared that they could've piss their pants, or completely turned on by the idea of having a vampire sucking their blood. But you didn't. And she had to find you, before you consumed her brain entirely.

That's why she, for the first time in two centuries, she got out of the house for a reason that wasn't feeding herself. She assumed that you had taken the ferry back to Mokpo, as she could hear Jiu groan at the fact that they had to get into the ferry so early, and only that stopped when you told her that she could get breakfast at Mokpo. In that moment, those were the only things she needed to launch herself into the quest of finding you. But, as the ferry moved, she seemed to remember that she was not aware if you were in Mokpo, or if you flew out of the country, or even if you were alive. After all, it's been a week.

Joy quickly remembered why she wasn't out of her house in two thousand years, and it was because of the noisiness. She should've asked Yeri to perform a locator spell on you, or get someone to find you, but she was impulsive, and she was out there, in Mokpo's port, not knowing what to do, where to start. Of course, she had her whole immortality to search for you, but you weren't immortal.

Should she get into Seoul? Should she start searching there? Should she be afraid that you were in another country? She didn't knew. Plus, all those people were making her uneasy, she could hear them all, and smell their blood, even hear their heartbeat. It was a mess, she was getting overwhelmed, but her efforts were in not pouncing into some human. She was no rogue vampire, she was four thousand and something of years, and she had more control in her than a baby vampire.

Among the madness of the busy port, she heard something that she needed to hear.

“Jiu! You should stop from going with Y/N to those places! You can't keep up like this.”

She turned around, trying to search for the voice, and the girl she saw with you. There she was, with her purple hair falling from her shoulders, wearing something so simple as a shit and a pair of jeans. Next to her, there was a girl, with dark brown hair, and they were holding hands. She started to get closer, trying to listen, and to think how to get them to tell her location.

“I know, Jagi, but I don't wanna let her go all alone, she might get in trouble one day. And she's my best friend.” Joy heard Jiu say, and she smirked, knowing that you had been face to face with trouble, if she was up to it.

“But then you get all scared the days after. And then you drag me to make sure that the house doesn't have anything strange, at day.” The other girl complained, and, although she understood that they were talking about her house, it could be a great opportunity to have some interrupted alone time with you.

“Uh, excuse me, do you know, by chance, where it's the house of Y/L/N Y/N? She's, uh, tall, has no fear of getting into haunted places...” She said, trying to sound like she was not trying to find a complete stranger. “I'm an old friend of hers, and, I came here to surprise her, but you know, since she's gone to university, and her parents moved...”

She hoped that they either didn't knew your parents, or your parents had moved somewhere else, as she didn't have any idea of who were your parents, or if it was even truth what she said. Luckily for her, it happened that you parents did actually moved to a more secluded place in the outskirts of Seoul... But it was a year ago.

“You really haven't seen her for that long, huh?” Jiu chuckled, but she understood. If it wasn't because of her always coming to your home unannounced, and your yearly tradition of getting into haunted places. “She lives in Seoul, do you have your phone? I can show you on Google Maps.”

She was aware of what Google was, and what a phone was, but all thanks to the newborn vampires, or rookies, as she liked to call them, but she did not come to contact to such frivolities of the human world. Or anything from the human world.

“It's dead” She simply said, and the pair seemed to understand right away.

“To the old way it is then” The other girl said, and then started to explain that you were in Seoul, the direction, how to get there, of course, not saying the obvious part that Joy had to take a train, taking as the old vampire was an old friend of yours that had lived in Seoul.

After all, you hadn't been out of the city long enough to make friends.

And that fact was just hanging above Joy's head like the rock above Tantalus head, threatening to fall in any second. But she wasn't one to be intimidated, so she left after thanking, and biding goodbye. She could easily compel someone to show her the directions to Seoul, as Korea had changed so much in so little.

Last time she had been in the mainland, she traveled on carriages, with horses carrying it, and boats had people to row. Now they all had something inside that carried them. If Chanyeol saw her, he would be probably rolling in the floor laughing. She couldn't let herself fall in the only quest that she had, and she already had the needed information about you, now only had to get there, somehow, some way.

Lucky for her, being a vampire comes with tricks, tricks that she had mastered during the monstrous time he had been a vampire, with the help of those humans who would become her food, only to get rid of that awful guilty feeling of not having a chance at feeding from any other thing, and causing pain to the human.

She make sure to be as far away as she could from the pair that she found out, and walked to a deserted street, where there was only a man who seemed to work at the port.

“Uh, excuse me, Sir.” She said, bowing once the man looked at her.

When she had his complete attention, and he was close to her, she flashed her eyes red, and the man looked at her like his life would end if he didn't.

“I need you to instruct me how to get to Seoul. You must accompany me on my journey until I reach said city.” She compelled him, and the man could only nod before starting to walk away, being followed by the vampire.

Joy then found herself getting into a train station for the first time. Her, who hadn't been in a train in her whole life, wasn't sure if the iron cage would be able to get her to Seoul, or if the cage was actually something else, and the compelling had failed. She was scared, but she asked the man how it worked.

It was then when she learned that humans didn't even know how things worked, not even those who were born in the century where all of that already existed. But he could explain that it was a mode of public transportation, where everyone, not caring about the social status of the one who was sitting next to them.

That led her to think about who she was now in the world. She had been married into the Joseon family, so that mean she was a princess, or she had been. And she came from a rich family, didn't that meant anything now? She was, by law, the princess now, as her husband had been killed right in front of her eyes. Not that she had cared anyway.

But how did she fit in that world? Did she wanted to? No. She didn't wanted to fit in that awful human world, she didn't wanted to have any contact with the human world unless it was seeing you. She hadn't tried to seize the crown after all those years because she didn't have the slightest interest in ruling Korea, or any place that had humans as its residents. She could be a clan leader, that much she would like, but having contact with humans? Just this once, to get rid of whichever spell or trick you put her under, but that was it.

That was why she accepted to sit in one of those communal seats, next to a man that wore common clothes. The man she compelled was not seating, but was standing next to her. Joy didn't cared to ask, neither try to convince the man to sit, as he was just another pawn in the chess game of her life.

The train from Mokpo had been a new experience for Joy. Nothing had moved as fast as it did when she was human, as horses can only run at certain speed. Plus, she got to see how Korea had improved itself to keep up with the world. The large blocks of glass and iron, who she later knew it was used for work, and some other less interesting-looking buildings, where the people with less money lived.

The cars that she saw in the streets, things that she wouldn't even imagined, and the streets, every single one was paved. In her times, there weren't like that.

Everything was new to her, and people sometimes looked strange, like that one who had a furious pink hair, and another who had an iron ball in their face. They didn't dressed like they did four thousands years ago, but that wasn't a new. Even herself was dressing different than how she would've done on her human life. She wasn't used to wear short skirts, no matter how long she had been trying to wear them, and she wasn't even sure of how she felt with shirts that didn't even got to her waist.

Fashion nowadays is like that, Chaeyoung had told her before. Even though Chaeyoung was almost as old as her, she had been a little more into the human world as Joy was. But, she was also more ruthless when it came to them, so the dark haired girl wasn't sure of how much she could count on the younger one.

The train journey had come to an end before the vampire could even make her mind grasp into the whole new world. And even then, when she and her companion got down of the train, she couldn't believe how much the world she knew had changed. Even Seoul had become unrecognizable.

The five grand palaces were nowhere to be seen, and they were supposed to be so magnificent that everyone would turn their heads to watch them. The people walked fast in the pavement, mostly surrounded by buildings so tall that Joy had to look up finding some of them lost in the clouds.

“What happened to my birthplace? Why is Seoul like this?” Joy lamented, still looking how the concrete took upon the most beautiful city she had ever seen.

“This is not Seoul, this is Cheongju. We have to take yet another train to get to Seoul. Mokpo is really far away from the capital. Can I ask why didn't you take a plane? Is faster, and easier.” The man, still under compulsion, asked.

“What is a plane?” Joy looked at him, frowning.

“Don't you know what a plane is?” He asked once again.

“I may know what is the thing, but not by its name” She answered.

“Oh, uh... The iron birds?” He answered unsure, as he didn't knew how to describe it to a completely unaware person.

“Oh! I see them in my backyard! They go really far in the sky!” Joy enthusiastically said, as she found herself always marveled at that particular invention.

“Yeah, those. You could've taken them to Seoul, and it would've been faster.” He divulged, and Joy nodded absentmindedly.

“But I didn't, maybe next time. Now, we have to go, another train is awaiting for us” Joy declared, already walking in some direction she wasn’t sure it was the right one.

“Uh, ma’am, your going in the wrong direction. Let me lead” The man cautioned, waiting for Joy to get back to a safe distance before starting to walk in the opposite direction.

The second ride didn't got joy as excited as the one before, but as the sun slowly started to set, she centered herself into asking as much as the human could answer. Of course, there were things that the man didn't knew profoundly, and it left Joy even more curious.

This time, they got quickly in Seoul, as the ride wasn't too long. Once the vampire got there, she smiled. She was finally going to be able to see you, and discover what had you done to her.

“Quickly, ma'am, we're really close to your destination, I bet you wanna get there as soon as you can” The man said, walking out of the station.

And it was then when she realized how it was already night, and that he must have family that was waiting for him back home, and that probably won't see him until the sun came up, if he was lucky.

“Just inform me how to get there, and I will do so. You probably family to go to.” She compelled him, and the man nodded.

“Just get into one of those yellow cars, and you pay them to get to your destination. Do you have money? Or anything to pay them?” The man asked, still not getting out of the compulsion.

“Yes, I do, I'm okay now, I still have the address, you may go now, I hope you have a safe trip.” She bowed to him, and he then walked away.

Joy walked to a taxi, sighing, and gave him the direction of your home. He didn't spoke, and Joy didn't spoke either, so she was just thinking about what she would do when she got there. Truth is, she had no idea. She threw herself to the idea of getting to you, to get her peaceful mind back, but she had no idea of how to do so. She was simply out of her mind, with her always so calm and collected now reduced to a reckless nothing, She couldn’t believe it, the great Park Sooyoung, the once heiress to an empire, acting like some lowland person.

But, a part of her knew that that one Park Sooyoung had died long time ago, with her humanity. She wasn’t the great Park Sooyoung, she was now Joy, Park Joy, if it pleased the crowd, and those were two different girls, they had to be.

Her predicament was cut short by the driver, who had made the car stop, indicating that she had arrived the destination, and demanding to be paid. Truth be told, Joy had not eaten since the morning, and she had been kind enough to spare the man who traveled with her because he had endured the endless questions from the girl for a long time, but this man didn’t earn her kindness, so he wouldn’t have the same fate as the prior one.

“Actually, I’m going to be the one rewarded”

The night had finally come for you, and with that it meant for you to get back into your apartment to have finally some unhealthy amount of hours of sleep, only to get up and get back into your daily routine. Being an university student does that to people. And you would’ve dozzed off in the couch, or even make a zombie walk to your bed, if it wasn’t for those eyes in the dark. Those red eyes, following your every move since you got inside the house. Those eyes that had been engraved in your mind ever since you saw them for the first time in Jeju.

That thought seemed to get ridden of your sleepy state. That island was too far away for her to be there, it was impossible for her to be there. But as much as you wanted to deny her presence, those red eyes were moving, until slowly but surely started to be part of a face, that face that you were not able to forget since you were there.

“Joy.”

“Well, hello there. I though that I would have to wait for you the whole night”

#joy imagines #joy x reader #red velvet x reader #creatures of the night #red velvet fanfic #red velvet joy

[jaces-senseless-fuckery]

Model Mishap

///A story idea I thought up and took me longer than I care to admit to write. I hope you guys like it///

"At Indigo's suggestion, she and Kairi head into the Emerald Forest for a photoshoot. Kairi then strips into a bikini and puts on a pair of cut-off blue denim shorts and starts to show off her toned body for some pictures. When Kairi takes the shorts off for some shots while she's posing on her motorcycle's seat, Indigo sits on the ground to get a good angle. Neither of them saw the Nightmare approach from behind the trees, but by the end of the day, they wouldn't complain one bit."

Word Count: 1,582

Kairi held her claymore over her shoulder with one hand, the thumb of her other in the waistband of her shorts. She made her eyes glow with electricity and she smirked confidently as Indigo snapped a picture of her as she leaned against Prowler, her motorcycle. She was wearing a simple blue bikini with a pair of very short denim shorts, and she wore her normal boots to complete her outfit. She then took her top off, exposing her nipples to the gentle breeze that flowed through the area, and she covered them with the flat of Auralash while she sat on Prowler and crossed her legs. Again, Indigo snapped a good picture of her, always a happy grin on her face. She loved seeing her girlfriend like this all the time, and loved it even more that so many people most likely took pleasure in looking at her girlfriend in such exposing pictures.

After the last picture had been taken, Kairi sheathed her sword in the sheath on the front of Prowler and she reviewed the shots on the camera. "Damn, you got some nice shots!"

Indigo grinned. "The lighting here is perfect at this time of day with how the sunlight is filtering through the leaves. Plus any picture of your body is amazing anyway."

"You my dear fox are such a flirt when you want to be~" Kairi said and smirked once more, "Anymore shots we can do?"

"Hmmm there could be a few more with you bent over Prowler maybe, then we can pick the best ones when we get back."

"Sounds good to me!"

From there, Kairi began to do a few more poses. For one, she stood next to her motorcycle with Auralash held out to her side, her back turned to Indigo as she glanced back at the camera. When she heard the snap of the camera, she sheathed her blade in its sheath and she began to take her shorts off. She unbuttoned them and let them fall to her ankles, then she kicked them off and bent over the gas tank, her bikini bottoms barely covering her ass at all. Indigo snapped another good picture of her, and Kairi did another few poses that she thought would be good for the shoot.

Eventually, Kairi mounted her motorcycle and held onto the handlebars, and she arched her back as she bent her right leg at the knee. "Oh, hold that pose, Kai. I have the perfect position in mind for a shot of that."

Indigo sat on the ground behind Prowler and to the right a bit, and then she aimed the camera. Indigo looked through it and grinned. It absolutely was the perfect shot, and the Faunus took it. And when she noticed Kairi begin to stare back at her from under her body, she took another picture. But, the two were very distracted. Too distracted to notice a Nightmare that was approaching past the trees behind them. The large equine Grimm had heard them both and came to investigate rather than straight out attack, being an older Nightmare that it was. But when it caught sight of Kairi's ass, a switch kicked in its mind and it's cock started to become erect and grow to it's full, massive size. A wild urge filled the Grimm's mind and it quickly acted on it, and it charged out of the trees.

The girls still didn't realize it was there until it was literally right on them. Indigo watched it's shadow loom over her as it raised its front legs up and planted them across the handlebars of Prowler, and immediately forced its cock into her pussy. Her bikini bottoms snapped and the Nightmare's cock had free access to her, and Kairi let out a scream when it began to stretch her open far past what she had been before.

Kairi's eyes were wide as the Nightmare just started to fuck her cunt extremely rough, rocking her and her motorcycle back and forth. Kairi put her hands on the gas tank and tried to get a good handhold for her to do something, but the Nightmare's powerful thrusts didn't allow her to have any space for it. She continued to scream from the pain of the huge shaft that started to ruin her pussy and hammer against the entrance of her womb, and she glanced back to look at Indigo to see if she was okay.

Indigo was turned the fuck on, and the faunus had no idea how to react to that. The Nightmare had come completely out of nowhere and was now fucking her girlfriend harder than she had ever seen Kairi fucked before, and it was by a Grimm of all things. She had the perfect view to watch as the Nightmare reshaped Kairi's cunt, and she had the perfect view of its muscles moving under the skin of its legs and especially its huge balls swaying back and forth above her. Soon, her body began to react for her and she slowly slid her hand down her pants, and she started to gently rub her pussy. Her mind was slow to process what she was doing and she couldn't believe that she was finding this so hot.

"F-fuck!" Kairi exclaimed, her hands gripping the gas tank of Prowler before she looked back to see where Indigo was, and she was taken aback by the sight of her playing with herself, "Indigo! A-are you s-seriously-FUCK~!"

Kairi screamed out as a particularly harder thrust knocked her into a daze, making her lose her grip on her motorcycle. She failed to find that grip again as the Nightmare continued to fuck her cunt at a rough  and harsh pace. She couldn't believe that Indigo was getting off on her getting fucked like this by a creature of Grimm. Eventually, Kairi's screams and grunts of pain bled into moans of pleasure, and she didn't even know when the moans started or when she started to feel good from this. And that thought threw her for a loop. This monster with it's massive horse cock was making her feel good.

And Indigo was just letting it happen.

"Y-you dirty slut…" Kairi said and shook her head, biting her lip from the pleasure the Nightmare was giving her, "G-getting off on seeing m-me be ruined by a Grimm~"

"Th-this one doesn't know wh-what came over her~" Indigo replied through her moans, "Sh-she's sorry, Kai~"

"Fuck~! Fuck~! fuuuck~!" Kairi screamed loudly as she soon began to cum from the Nightmare pounding her cunt, and then she felt the tip of its cock break through the entrance to her womb and hit the deepest parts of her, "FUUUUUUCK~!"

Feeling that it's cock was deeper inside of the huntress-in-training, the Nightmare let out a devilish neighing noise and began to fuck her even harder. Indigo could see the obscene bulge in her girlfriend's stomach from the huge shaft, and gods the sight of it was just so hot. Several minutes went by as the Nightmare plowed Kairi on her motorcycle, and Indigo finally started to cum herself, her pussy squeezing around her fingers. Her moans died down moments later and she took her hand from her pants, and she started to suck her fingers clean while watching the show above her.

The Nightmare was close. Kairi could feel its cock throbbing so much inside her and it made her grip the sides of Prowler tighter. It started snorting loudly and constantly with each thrust of its powerful hips, and then it finally slammed its cock as far as it could inside of her and started to unleash its load into her. Kairi quickly felt her womb begin to flood with the Grimm's thick, hot seed and she let out a long, loud moan as it continued to fill her to the brim. Her stomach began to bloat out a few moments later and by the Nightmare was finished cumming, Kairi's stomach looked as large as a kickball.

She felt its cock start to pull out after it finished cumming, and then the tip popped from her pussy. The spunk that flooded her baby chamber pushed out following the Grimm's cock and shot out, a good amount of it hitting Indigo's stomach and chest before it just started leaking over the seat of Prowler. The Nightmare hopped off of Kairi and the motorcycle, and then Indigo watched as it walked off into the forest, leaving them alone.

Indigo laid on her back and stared up into the leaves of the tree above them, and she closed her eyes listening to the sounds of Kairi's heavy breathing and light moans. Moments ticked by as Indigo stayed on the ground until she heard some shuffling from Prowler, and a second or so later her eyes snapped open when Kairi sat on her face, her knees on either side of her head. Indigo felt the warm cum of the Nightmare ooze onto her lips and she stared up into Kairi's glowing lightning-blue eyes.

"You're gonna stay right there and eat this cum from my pussy," Kairi said to Indigo, smirking widely, "It's your punishment for being such a slut~"

Indigo was in no position to protest, and the smell of the cum was already starting to make her mind go blank. So, Indigo just did what she was compelled to do, and that was do what Kairi told her to do and start licking.

#oc #kairi aideen #indigo strife daturas #non sfw #rwby smut #grimmsmut #nightmare #nightmare grimm

[ilovesamheughan]

Herself is fun like no other! 😂

Diana Gabaldon's Foreword to Clanlands Reveals Behind-the-Scenes Stories from the Outlander Set

Here's your first look at the introduction to Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish's new book.

BY DIANA GABALDON

NOV 3, 2020

outlander season 2 2016ED MILLER / STARZ

Well, in The Beginning . . . there was a man in a kilt.

I’ve always figured that if there’s something you want to do, you should start doing it, and if it’s the right thing, the universe kind of comes out to meet you. So, I started writing a novel about a man in a kilt, and the universe brought me a television show.

I’ve been indirectly responsible for a lot of strange things since I wrote Outlander – from:

. . . five seasons (so far) of a hit TV series

. . . the names of dozens of purebred dogs, racehorses and housing developments

. . . thousands of babies named Brianna or Jamie (no one has ever, to my knowledge, named a child ‘Murtagh’, which is puzzling . . .)

. . . Lord John Grey’s Tea

. . . symphonic band compositions

. . . a musical

. . . a Scottish woolen mill specialising in tartan

. . . a marvelous pair of cookbooks

. . . three million knitted cowls

. . . dozens of female fans who lower their trousers at book signings to show me ‘Da mi basia mille’ tattooed on their tailbones (as my husband remarked to me, ‘Well, how many people can say,“Kiss my ass” in classical Latin?’)

. . . a 72% increase in Scottish tourism (as Visit Scotland was kind enough to tell me), and

. . . an excellent whisky called ‘Sassenach’

But this book may be one of the strangest, and definitely one of the best!

I’m deeply honoured that Sam and Graham have asked me to write the foreword to one of the most interesting, unusual (to put it mildly . . .) and hilarious books I’ve read in a long time. I’m not quite sure what you’d call it, but then I’m used to not being able to describe my own books in twenty-five words or less, so this is probably not a problem.

To start with, it’s a buddy book. Two good friends banter (and bicker) their way across the Scottish Highlands, risking life and limb in that casual way that makes men attractive. Why? Well, because they’re both Scottish and they have both been a large part of Outlander (not just the television show, but the whole weird phenomenon), have realised that they are Scottish (wearing a kilt every day for two years will do that to you), and want to find out where their heritage came from and what being Scottish actually means (aside from being born liking whisky)

It’s also a road book. (Think Jack Kerouac, but with fewer drugs, more paragraphs and no sex. Well, almost no sex . . .).

Our two friends are in fact making a television series about several historical locations in the Highlands. Accompanied by a small film crew – including a talented makeup artist and a drone operator – they visit spectacular historical locations in the Scottish Highlands to learn the true history of some of the best-known massacres, fights, betrayals, beheadings, and other typically Scottish recreational activities. This is the story of that journey, accomplished via an aged Fiat camper van, tandem bike, kayak and any number of other improbable modes of transport that only make sense to people suffering from testosterone poisoning.

And on their way, they talk. Not only to each other, but to themselves. In some of its phases, the book is a twin memoir. Each man recalls his life as an actor – in bits – because every actor (like every writer) pretty much makes it up as they go along. Which means a lot of the stories are of the kind that are only funny to the protagonists with twenty years’ perspective, but are endlessly entertaining to the spectators.

These reminiscences include a good many stories from the Outlander set, as well. I’m only on set myself intermittently, but I do recall the day in Season Two when Sam’s horse – which he was preparing to mount – decided to take its mother’s advice and relieve itself before setting out (there’s reason why most costumes are made in multiples). And another occasion during Season Two wherein Graham was required to ride a mechanical horse (as the director said to me, ‘It looks like shit, but you won’t be able to actually see it on film’)

The mechanical horse was carried on the back of a truck, followed by another truck with a camera, and Graham was supposed to leap into the mechanical horse’s saddle while moving (supposedly jump-ing from another horse). This being television, they filmed the scene many, many times to ensure enough footage to get the effect they were after. When they finally stopped, Graham staggered downhill from the road where they’d been doing this, pausing by me and Anne Kenney (brilliant writer of the other episode in that block of filming) to say, ‘I’ve just been having a conversation with my balls. They said, “We’d really rather you didn’t do that again”’. And staggered on, muttering, ‘I knew I should have worn a cup this morning . . .’.

And finally, there’s the actual history of the ‘clan lands’, woven through this tale of a journey. The travelers reach the most interesting/famous/relevant Highland locations, where they do learn what their history and heritage are, assisted by some of the most colorful inhabitants of those places.

So, you’re actually getting four books in one! (A real bargain . . .).

But the most important part of this book is the friendship between its authors, that colours and illuminates every page.

I was both intrigued and immensely entertained by the story, but also touched on a personal level. One of the most unexpected aspects of the whole ‘Outlander phenomenon’ is the amazing way in which it seems to draw people together. People read the books and watch the show – and they want to talk about it. So, they form fan groups and book clubs and Facebook forums, and deep, lasting friendships, all because of a shared love of a story.

I will always recall one woman who brought me a book at a signing, who told me that she lived alone, had been alone for many years, seldom got out and had no family – but that she’d become attracted to the story, found others who felt likewise, and who invited her to go with them to book-signings, premieres and conventions. ‘Now I have friends!’, she said. She cried, and so did I.

I hope you’ll feel that sense of friendship in these pages.

A final word, since this book is all about returning to one’s roots: Some years ago, one of my novels won the Corine International Prize for Fiction, and I was invited to go to Germany to accept the award. This was rather a Big Deal for the German publisher, and they took advantage of my presence to have me interviewed by the entire German press corps; newspapers, magazines, radio, television, literary journals, you name it. By the end of the week I was sleep deprived and a bit glazed over when I met a nice gentleman from one of the literary journals.

Delightful man, he went on at great (and flattering) length about the books. He loved my narrative drive, my characters were tremendous, my imagery transcendent!

So I’m sitting there in a pleasant daze, thinking, ‘Yes, yes, go on . . .’, when he suddenly said, ‘There is just one thing I wonder: can you explain to me, what is the appeal of a man in a kilt?’.

Well, had I been totally conscious, I might not have said it (then again . . .). Anyway, I looked at him for a moment and said, ‘Well . . .I suppose it’s the idea that you could be up against a wall with him in a moment.’

<ahem>

A few weeks later, home again in Arizona, I get a packet of interview clippings from the German publisher, and on the top is the interview from that journal. The publisher had attached a Post-it note, saying, ‘I don’t know what you said to this man, but I think he is in love with you!’.

A man in a kilt. A very powerful and compelling image, yes . . . And now you have two of them . . .

Pour yourself a good dram, open the covers and enjoy yourself!

Slàinte mhath!

Diana Gabaldon

Scottsdale, Arizona

August, 2020

#sam heughan #clanlands book #diana gabaldon #grahammctavish

[rgedgwe]

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purple back to blue, as it had been when first she met him. And it is responsible for delivering incredible experiences in new games too! Around HardOCP, Eyefinity has been responsible for a few of us falling back in love with PC gaming. Messrs. Just think, each box weighs 16 pounds, so the man has 60 bowling balls in his locker.". These meet, and they take the subject seriously and solemnly into consideration. Stores selected to carry the Marni line.. Other tables were occupied by strangers: Ibbenese whalers who reeked of blood and blubber, a pair of bravos with scented oil in their hair, a fat man out of Lorath who complained that Pynto’s booths were too small for his belly. People visit Stonehenge in Wiltshire. They passed through several cellars, and rows of small, damp, foul-smelling cells very different from the room where Davos had been confined.. Next morning at nine o’clock precisely I was with her again. Among them are former Saskatchewan winners Andres Gonzales (2009) and Will Wilcox (2010). I've learned French, German, Spanish, Russian, Latin (and studied a few other languages), and I promise you that German is the easiest of all languages for native English speakers to learn, at least with good teaching and real practice it is. PROVIDED PHOTO "It's a consistent effort. With no semblance of a running game, a rotating cast of banged up bodies at QB, and a WR corps whose only threats outside of Fitzgerald are a rookie and a very TD dependent Andre Roberts, it is not rocket science to key on how to stop this team.

[sugar-petals]

Understanding The Death Card In Tarot

the great juxtaposition. we start with a detail and my favorite card reference. so, you’ve seen the skeleton, the horse, the people... i ask you to center in on the imagery again though, to extract whether DEATH really wants to convey all but despair and the inevitable. if you look twice, you see the message. plain image analysis: it's a sunrise scene. THE SUN in tarot is the absolute best arcanum you can get. happiness, freedom and enlightenment in its pure form. look at it, that’s paradise. it could even be the formerly kneeling baby that is now riding DEATH’s horse! DEATH can be read as the key to to all your wishes fulfilled, and you being spared from doom. that’s what it boils down to. so whatever you worry about has a good end. if you know that THE SUN is the level up-result of DEATH, you will view it differently.

relating the card. see how it intertwines with other cards. your spread will tell you what kind of sunrise it means. if it relates to a wonky card, rejoice because this issue will be resolved big time. if it comes with a wholesome card, even better, double the sunshine, a grand new reveal, the old is gone. the skeletal rider brings the tidal wave to usher in the bright atmosphere. humans cannot understand the concept of happiness without knowing DEATH equally. no DEATH, no sunshine.

DEATH’s power. if i had to associate an animal with the card, it’s the snake. shedding its skin and presenting the new shining self, pretty much. and it’s still the same snake, but with less baggage and old outer woundings and personas. so, if DEATH shows up in your reading, that skin shedding effect is already taking place and it’s a good thing. 

no hazards. there is few sense of immanent danger or doom in that card. at least, less than it seems. the skeleton on the horse treads very slowly. it’s not the KNIGHT OF SWORDS rushing in and mowing you down. also, unlike the sword suits that are all cloudy and gloomy, DEATH has the sun on it!  

predicting real death? it’s hard to know if the card means literal passing or not unless you create context in the spread. to be sure about that is crucial given the severity of the topic. of course, if you explicitly ask if there will be somebody dying and you draw that very card, the answer is unequivocal and you can take it at face value. but when DEATH pops up seemingly at random, check whether it is paired with the 5 OF CUPS (=grief), swords (=conflict, cutting away), and compelling reversals of beneficial cards to see whether an actual fatal event is involved, which, given the probabilities, is rare. 

metaphors. in most other cases, DEATH is best read as metaphorical, much like the fertility theme of the EMPRESS doesn’t mean you get pregnant 100% and extends to creative projects coming to fruition instead. so, read DEATH as a revolution in an area of life, e.g. with the 2 OF SWORDS you can interpret that you finalize a decision between two options. 

but who, and when? even if you do spot the 5 OF CUPS nearby, you gotta find out what person is involved in this. look for court cards or a signature arcanum that you associate with someone. e.g., the page that always jumps out when you do a reading on relative XYZ. this is where directions come in handy. IMPORTANT: where is the horse on the card headed? if it faces to the right, see what it points at. or, which card on the left it has embarked from. that way you can see what happened (lean back in that case) or what is still to happen (be curious what gift death brings in that case).  

DEATH and serfdom. if there is one historical theme that is always squarely ignored it’s that DEATH is about to trample over a highly decorated 1) rich 2) white 3) old 4) catholic 5) man. quintuple feudal threat combo. yes, the scene does depict a tragedy, especially as there are kids kneeling before DEATH to appease his horse. but the nr. 1 focal point is DEATH marching towards the guy who made a fortune via taxes and people’s fears of death and now ironically gets targeted himself. even if he is supposed to be the most blessed and protected of all as a cleric, and looks like a walking deity in his shining gown. interesting, isn’t it. so: ouch. the DEATH card is one huge medieval roast. 

the crown takes a tumble. it gets even wilder. check out the background. you see that there’s a king without his crown (!) lying on the ground as DEATH’s first casualty. this card is nothing but a savage blow to the feudal system. DEATH killed the head of state and now he’ll take down the top of the hierarchy, the clergy, too. the entire machinery is defeated. like why would you not want this card in all of your spreads, DEATH is the greatest symbol of nation-wide liberation you could possibly think of.

the warning that’s not for you. you gotta understand this. the card’s scenery is a rather deliberate potitical statement and probably doesn’t concern you unless you’re the 1%. DEATH, in essence, is a ‘lol, even you won’t last’ and a warning for larger-than-life elites. or, not even a warning, but a plain fact. the funny thing is, DEATH doesn’t do this on purpose, but naturally without giving a damn on his funky horse. as a tarot reader, if anything, you can interpret this card as the laws of nature working against privileges and buddha’s teaching of how everything passes. karma is a relief. 

DEATH and authority. the card is the better version of JUSTICE. there’s no court ruling that someone gets a fine and the case is closed. there’s no idle debate. no exceptions and cop-outs. death has not discriminated once. the bad guy gets what he deserves. DEATH is anti-hierarchy in nature. he tears down rigged systems, and whatever theme your spread has, this card hails of oppression coming to an end. the HIEROPHANT is quaking. the EMPEROR, too. the entire court cards, also. DEATH made the entire conceited and power-hungry population of the tarot his bitch. 

a lesser evil? i know that shifting your worry doesn’t help, but how dangerous the DEATH card really isn’t while other cards are much more alarming reflects the truth of the deck which is the ultimate goal to grasp as an advanced reader. if you draw THE TOWER, THE DEVIL, 3/5/9/10 OF SWORDS, 5 OF PENCACLES, and the 5 OF CUPS, possibly all at once, aspecting other positive cards in your reading, then you gotta watch out. DEATH is nowhere near as crazy. look at the coloring and weather deptictions of the imageries and the difference is very visible. weather in tarot reflects the entire meaning and mood of the card. DEATH has clear, neutral skies and big fat shunshine emerging. meanwhile, it’s going bonkers right here: 

the skeleton = you! i’m not kidding. it’s crazy. DEATH is the best self-insert as it’s a skeleton. it could be anybody. now think of what a good position you’re in. you got this badass horse, you got the flag with the rose of life cycles on it, you command the sea to rise and fall, you got an armor to protect yourself. you’ve likely been a knight. you’re about to make a clean sweep with this annoying bishop who thinks he’s god. because you literally rule life. pretty good position you’re finding yourself in. the DEATH card ascribes superpowers to the one receiving it, as exaggerated as that sounds. if you realize that DEATH is you, that’s a whole new dimension of interpreting.

#tarot #tarot ed #learning tarot #tarot reading #reference #tarot cards

[botslayer]

Octodad: Not-so-dark theory

From top to bottom, Octodad looks like a fairly innocent game, A simple story about an Octopus trying to survive in suburbia. But, through subtle hints and references, and inconsistencies with that premise, it is revealed that Octodad is no mere cephalopod. He is, in fact, something far more horrifying, on paper at least... What do I mean?

Octodad is not, in truth, an Octopus, He's a Cthulhi. For those not familiar with the works of H.P. Lovecraft, Cthulhi are also called "The Starspawn of Cthulhu" and "Xothians," and are a race that looks like Cthulhu who's true origins, as with everything in the Cthulhu mythos, are debatable and vague as sin, the only things known for a fact are that they look like Cthulhu (Or, in their first appearance, like Octopi), worship him, followed him from their home dimension/universe into ours, and then perished en masse while what remained of them went into a death-like sleep, same as Cthulhu.

Now, Star Spawn aren't often seen in the works of Lovecraft, but they do have a sliver of popularity in the fandom. Not as big (in the popularity sense) as Deep Ones, but not as unknown as the humble Penguins of Leng. Now, again, it's worth noting that common interpretations of Star Spawn are basically baby Cthulhus, just tiny versions of their dark and malevolent master, but to start with, they were described as "a land race of beings shaped like octopi and probably corresponding to the fabulous pre-human spawn of Cthulhu," in the story "At the Mountains of Madness." 

Octodad highly RESEMBLES an octopus, but with some interesting tweaks. Namely: His eyes, two of his Tentacles, and something we'll talk about in just a minute. But let's talk about Octodad's anatomy when compared to another octopus, namely, the one in the "Wold of kelp" at the Aquarium.

Now, this is Octopus is a giant, climbable sculpture one might see at a water park, so in a technical sense, some liberties could have been taken with its anatomy, but it looks semi-accurate to real octopi, down to the slit-like pupils and the tentacles all being at roughly the same spot despite them spreading out for kids to climb on. Now, if you pay attention, a patron of the Aquarium will note that the "World of kelp" was something else before it was the world of kelp, though they THINK it was "Squids or something" before. Based on how the section played out, I have to believe the whole affair was either cephalopods in general given how many bases of just kelp they went over, or just Octopi because HOLY CRAP there are lots of octopi out there. Failing that, I don't think the statue was a squid to begin with, the eyes are far too forward on the head, what can be seen of the tentacles makes them all look the same, and most species of squid have circular pupils and irises, not slits/rectangles. 

Octodad, in contrast to the sculpture, has vertically ovular pupils, far rounder than the slits on the larger statue, on top of that, his eyes take up a slightly larger portion of his head. Then we take a look at Octodad's tentacles, namely the two that form his mustache. These two tentacles are set away from the other six in a way that makes no real anatomical sense for an octopus. Not to mention that the two are preposterously shorter than the others, it's less like another pair of tendrils and more like a strange growth coming out of the middle of his head. Moving on from that, there's also a certain disparity with his other limbs, his "arms" are shorter than his "legs" when he stands, however, when he enters water, his limbs, save for his mustache, are all of equal length, this strange effect carries over to when he's buck-ass naked, so no, he isn't just scrunching two up while he's in the suit... Speaking of naked octodad:

What the hell is that THING in the midst of his tentacles? It's a lighter color than the others, he's still using two tentacles per leg, one per arm, and his mustache is basically vestigial. Octodad's anatomy makes no fucking sense unless you consider the idea that he has some level of shapeshifting power... and wouldn't you know it, Cthulhi have just that. To what end is a little shakey, as with most things in the Lovecraft universe, but still.

Also worth noting is the church Octodad got married at, a Church dedicated, at least partly, to Cthulhu himself. Now, we only see one window with any kind of figure on it, Cthulhu, wereas the others are all decked out with a strange symbol, as are a few paintings lining the walls of it. These paintings may be of religious significance to the practitioners of this particular faith, but a lot of it looks like some minimalist "If you get it you get it" kind of stuff, and then one is literally a crayon drawing of a child with a smiling balloon. The last vaguely Lovecraftian thing in the church is the treasure chest Octodad gets his wife's ring from, all the coins within have a squid/cuttlefish-like creature printed on them, In the story "Shadow over Innsmouth," the people of a town called "Innsmouth" start breeding with fish people. They did it specifically for the undersea gold the fish people (called Deep Ones) give out for the service. Deep Ones worship multiple gods, cheif among them are their great parents, Mother Hydra and Father Dagon, though worship of Cthulhu isn't against their laws or anything. 

The game takes a break from the hints of Eldrich horror while the family is at home, though it is worth noting that we don't REALLY know where Octodad's children came from. Hell, the game makes a joke about it at the end, Tommy asks, plain as day, "If dad's an octopus... Then where did me and Stacy come from?" While his parents laugh the question off, it has a few possible answers: The two of them (Or just Tommy) are leftover from a failed relationship/marriage Scarlet was a part of before Octodad came in, the two (Or just Tommy) are adopted, or, in a manner not dissimilar to deep ones, Cthulhi may just be able to breed with humans in this universe. 

Now, I say Tommy may be adopted/Not Octodad's specifically because Stacy says something concerning in the "Deep sea" exhibit at the Aquarium. She apparently has dreams wherein a deep, dark spot in the ocean seems to call to her. This turns out to be a sea horse ranch. Cute as that is, dreams are a recurrent theme in Lovecraft's work, sometimes compelling people into the service of Great old ones like Gla'aki, for example. Or there was that one story when a guy met Yog-Sothoth, the omniscient and omnipresent god of the universe just because he dreamed that deeply. Also "The Dreamlands" are a place in Lovecraft's fiction. I could keep going down that rabbit hole, but I'm lazy and I think that point is made.

There is also another reference (Possibly) to "Shadow over Innsmouth" and "Dagon" with the character of Chef Fujimoto. Now, Fujimoto himself is not a reference to anything in particular, but his backstory has some Lovecrafty bits. Namely, Fujimoto was once a soldier (Dagon) who cut open a combatant. Instead of human guts, "Piles of fish" were inside. (Shadow over Innsmouth.) This one might be a little more of a stretch but remember that Fujimoto is OBSESSED with Octodad and believes very firmly that there are fish people everywhere. ("Why is everyone fish!?") There are several Lovecraftian stories where the character feels he is being pursued or is surrounded in some way. Call of Cthulhu ends with one of the characters feeling that the cult is gunning for him, partly because some dude looked at him funny, and Dagon ended with the main character fearing that a servent of Dagon was coming up his stairs after him, so he threw himself out a window. The crippling paranoia experienced by Fujimoto is another hint that SOMETHING Eldrich is happening in the universe of Octodad. 

Also worth noting is that a magazine entitled "Inquisitor" can be found at Gervason's, Octodad is on the cover, and they think he's an alien. Which begs the question: Why is it that most humans will let an obviously strange man do things without much concern at all? Hell, there are three lines present in both the main game and one of the extra shorts that imply EVERYONE sees something is wrong with Octodad. And I quote/paraphrase:

"I thought he was a lawyer?" "He's slimy enough to be one."

"Is it just me or did the captain look jigglier than usual?"

"Hmmm, I don't see a blurblerulb on the list." 

These lines imply on some level that people recognize SOMETHING is wrong or different with Octodad but they don't carry the thought far enough to do anything with it... Unless perhaps at a distance, hence that cover of “Inquisitor.” 

Another thing that tends to happen in Lovecraftian horror is the mind not making proper sense of things. For example: Canonically in the mythos, the image of Cthulhu mankind sees, humanoid body, octopus head, draconic wings, etc, is not what he really looks like, it's just our perception of Cthulhu because our minds aren't equipped to comprehend the real deal. Looking too long at just what we can see of Cthulhu will unravel your mind, causing both insanity and death if exposed even longer. I think that's part of Octodad's effect. When he's dressed, the humans around him perceive what their mind makes sense of. He's in a shirt and pants, therefore he is appropriately dressed as a human, therefore their minds SEE a human even if he's not QUITE right. We see, rather obviously, that he doesn't have human hands, he has tentacles with suckers, but Scarlet refers to it as a "Hand" still, this implies she and others see his appendages as hands or feet when he's disguised or doing something "Human enough." Only really undone if he's naked or does too many strange or seemingly malicious things like accidentally smack someone with a bag of doughnuts.

This is why you can get away with randomly dragging things across the floor, their minds are telling them something is a little off, but their ability to perceive might be telling them he's just got a medical condition or something. It's nothing to judge him for, he's just got a disability. 

So at the end of that trail, what are we left with? Octodad as a Xothian/Deep one hybrid? Does that fundamentally change the game's story? Does this mean Octodad is a dark horror from beyond? Does he secretly seek to kill and maim and destroy all the things we hold dear? Will he one day help awaken Cthulhu and usher in the new age of the great old ones? No. See, Octodad, despite his horrifying inspirations, is a benevolent creature. He "blubs with a love for all mankind" in the ending for Dadliest Catch. He still obviously loves and cares for his family, whether they know his secret or not. He's just an alien from another dimension... or at least he has ancestry from another dimension. 

Now, why is that? I've got two little ideas for that: It's an often found interpretation that most of the original writings of Lovecraft focus on the idea that "It is different, therefore it is bad." Xenophobia of an extremely high sort. Mind you, I often find this interpretation lacking, but we can probably discuss that later. I feel Octodad may be a natural extrapolation of the idea that it isn't bad because it's different, in fact, Octodad, despite keeping a secret, is an all-around "good" guy. Upstanding, moral, all that garbage, he just happens to be non-human.  Something supporting this being a running theme is the scene with the Snugglefish. For those who have yet to play Dadliest catch, a section of the game takes place when the power in part of the Aquarium goes partially out. During this event, Octodad and Stacy come upon a large sculpture of a creature called a “Snugglefish.” which is covered by the dark. We shine lights at the supposedly malevolent creature, complete with monstrous teeth and evil red eyes, partially with the intent to “Blind it” despite the fact that its obviously a statue. That whole section up to then is nothing but fumbling in the dark, looking at the strange and some might say “alien” life living in the deep ocean, you can also learn some stuff about them if you pay attention.  The whole thing ends when you fully light up the spots on the statue, revealing it to BE a Snuggle fish as opposed to some giant monster. As a result of revealing this, Stacy’s fears of it go right out and she feels she understands the creature better, as with most things, learning and understanding quiet one’s fears. when we learn what something is, we stop seeing it as an immediate threat is the take away from that section, I think, which is, again, I’d say, a call to Lovecraft's writings and his fear of that which was different and unknown and how it’s so easily thrown out with just a LITTLE understanding.

Another plausible explanation for Octodad’s kindness may be that Octodad is not a Star Spawn of Cthulhu, but of Kthanid. Kthanid is not an original creation of H.P. Lovecraft, but a bloke by the name of "Brian Lumley." Lumley's creation is the brother of Cthulhu, and is considered the main reason Cthulhu is sealed away these days. Kthanid is said to look almost exactly like Cthulhu but to have "Golden eyes that radiate peace." He's a loving, benevolent "Elder God" that wants the best for not just Humanity, but for all things. It would logically follow that if a creature dedicated itself to Kthanid, or was one of his spawn, it would be at least mostly as loving and kind. So, if Octodad, or "blurblerulb" if you prefer, was a purely hypothetical Kthani instead of Cthulhi, his disposition may well fit within the actual mythos.

So, what do y'all think? Does this theory hold water? Or does it sink harder than Cthulhu going back down for a nap?

#Octodad #Dadliest Catch #Tommy #Stacy #Scarlet #Chef Fujimoto #Cthulhu #Lovecraft #Kthanid #Xothians #star spawn #cthulhi #Deep Ones

[sugarandspice-games]

I guess this is becoming a trend... I’m popping in before the actual intro to clarify-- if the text is in italic, it is me (Sugar) talking and regular is Spice. Alright? Cool. And so--

So, one night I’m going through youtube and I come upon this one shitposty video about some random anime that I’ve never even heard of. After doing some research, I discover that it’s actually based on a dating sim that I’ve also never heard of. As a joke I was like “Hey Sugar wanna watch this as a joke, it might be funny” and so we did. And uhm. Well.

Today we’re gonna be reviewing Brothers Conflict, aka Sweet Home Alabama 2: Electric Anime Boogaloo aka the anime that ruined our lives. [Again, disclaimer: neither Sugar nor I condone incest and/or pedophilia, two themes which are uh, very rampant in this anime which is why I cannot recommend it in good faith. It’s not good, don’t get me wrong. I can’t really say that I liked it even if watching it and ragging on it was kind of enjoyable, and I did get attached to some of the characters because that’s the kind of idiot I am. Also, we’re not shirking our duties to write I swear please don’t kill me--] Anyway, an obligatory SPOILER WARNING though this probably isn’t going in the main tag bc I do not want the fans to publicly stone me. Why are we reviewing this? Bc we need to talk about it somewhere. Though I say review lightly bc this... is really more of a critique.

ALSO we only watched the anime, idk if things are different in the game. There is no full english translation for the games and most of the LP channels have been copyright striked, so please don’t come at us for not knowing anything. I also know that otome games and dating sims don’t tend to translate well to anime, and I will be addressing this later.

So, dear god, where do I begin.

Where do we begin indeed? How about the fact that her name is Ema and I had to google to remember the heroine’s name? Also, she is seventeen.

Our plot, or well... what you COULD call a plot, I guess, if you REALLY wanted to give this anime that much credit, focuses on the aforementioned seventeen year old Hinata Ema, who has an absent father who apparently FOUND THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED BUT NEVER HAS A SECOND TO SPARE FOR HIS ONLY CHILD, RINTARO I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TAKING CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD. HAND HER OVER-- Anyway. He’s getting married to a woman who has 13 sons (jesus christ ma’am have you ever heard of a condom?) and he decides to move her in with them because... I guess he has less braincells than I have balls, which is to say, zero. Hi, I’m trans.

So, Ema moves in with them... along with her talking grey squirrel, Juli. Juli is... interesting and by interesting, I mean-- ABSOLUTELY PUZZLING. He, apparently, has seen the majority of Ema’s life from babyhood to teenagerhood and can talk but is only understood by Ema (who he calls Chii) and Louis, the eighth son in the Asahina family. It is never explained why, or how Chii came across him or how in an episode, a single episode, he becomes human because why the hell not, I guess??? (Also, he is pretty. YES. I said it. Fight me.) [Quick Spice intervention, this squirrel can talk to people, transform into a human, enter dreams, and live way longer than a squirrel should since the average lifespan of a squirrel is like 6 years in the wild. Juli is apparently a god as none of this is EVER explained.]

And when she meets the Asahina family, it’s pretty much immediately chaos because these heterosexual (I guess? They look like a bunch of twinks to me but there goes anime trying to convince me that straight people are real and not a lie made up by Trump) men have NEVER and I mean NEVER known a woman in their entire lives, since they seem to want to bang their stepsister immediately. And most of them are GROWN ASS ADULTS. Only three of them are actually minors (though Iori is 18 and only one year older so I guess??? It’s okay??? But still weird) and one of them is a 13 year old who looks and acts like he’s 8.

Oh, and did I mention that out of these boys, only the adult triplets and the abusive asshole 16 year old get any kind of characterization AND character development? I mean, Subaru gets an “arc” if you can call it that, but really, they don’t give him much... personality. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and it’d be the same. I feel bad for him (but not really because dude you are 20 and she is your sister, what the fuck--)

But if there’s anything good about this anime, it is the characters themselves. Several of the boys have redeeming qualities and interesting personalities and quirks, as well as interesting relationships and dynamics with each other. Yes, some of them are lacking in the plotline department while others may have decent plotlines and lack personality, and then some of them are just given absolutely nothing (COUGH Masaomi COUGH Ukyo COUGHCOUGHCOUGH Iori, and by the way, what the fuck is that game plotline bc I read the wiki since I wanted to know more about him. We don’t have time to unpack the mento illness luv. But you’re telling me they had all this meat to work with and they threw it in the trash and gave him nothing? What the hell?) And if anything, I feel as if the characters themselves are crippled by the plotline. If given a different story, perhaps, they may have room to shine, because a lot of them are compelling if not lovable (though some may not be... lovable. COUGHFuuto, at least not for me.) If you want to see our review on the characters, we’ll put out another post.

Iori... Iori has a hell of a plot in the game, according to the Wiki but I can’t blame the writers for not exploring all of it because whoa. It is dark and not in a good way. But back to the subject at hand... I agree with Spice. I do/did like quite a lot of the characters... provided the entire romantic plot is taken away but we will go into more of why the plot is problematic below. All I can really add is: There is a baby in this dumpster and canon has been taken out back to be shot like a lame horse.

This brings me to a point in which I would like to pause the character discussion and bring up a glaring flaw with this anime in general (aside from the... plot. Look, I’m not a huge fan of weird stepsibling stuff but I think that if you want to do something like that, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. This was the way not to do it, which I’m getting to). The biggest thing that made this anime so uncomfortable was the imbalance of power dynamics. Why is the protagonist 17 when most of the love interests are 18 and older, and I mean much, much older? And she’s not any 17 year old... she’s a lonely, neglected girl who is starved for the love of a family. This makes her easily manipulated by the brothers, who clearly desire her for less than wholesome reasons, and that makes it skeevy. I’m not sure why there’s such a fetishization of nonconsent in media, as if it’s fine for as many men to lust after female protagonists as the writer desires BUT the woman can’t want a single one of them in return. It’s creepy, and quite frankly, I am very much over it. I also get that the age thing is probably a product of the protagonist of a teenager oriented dating sim not translating well to an anime (because really, all otome game MCs are meant to be a neat little pair of shoes for the player to imagine themselves in), but why are we fetishizing a teenager being groomed by adults anyway? Especially adults who have this much power over her to begin with? The power dynamics bring this plot from “Oh, this might be kinda trashy but it could be entertaining” to “This is extremely creepy and rapey and kind of a dumpster fire.”

This is also true. If we were to take age into consideration, Fuuto, Yusuke, and Iori would be the three candidates left for Chii. This is taking out the youngest as well, who is... thirteen, I think? But anyway, (I know I am probably going to get some hate for this but go for it), I am into stories that explore the stepsibling thing and it can make a good narrative-- but before everyone gets uppity: There is a line between FICTION and REALITY and I do not condone real life incest but a story is a story and there are ways to frame it that make it clear that it is not a romantic thing, or acceptable. This anime does not do that in it’s dynamics because some of the brothers do start off in that very firm caregiving, family role and it is a sharp turn into romance that makes you go, “?” or in Fuuto case, a blending that does lean into fetishization.

All in all I think the plot maybe could have been okay? I’m not saying it isn’t problematic, because we all know it is, who are we kidding? But I don’t think it’s wrong per se to explore family dynamics with romance and to understand where the line should be drawn, and maybe exploring the definition of family itself. I have seen fanfictions with similar tropes ask those questions and explore the concept beautifully without romanticizing or fetishizing incest and unhealthy power dynamics. It could have been good, and I get that perhaps I’m barking up the wrong tree by expecting mature themes in an anime based on an otome game, but it also could have been a lot less... creepy (I have used that word so much that it looks wrong now) even if it wasn’t the greatest thing ever. But again, what was I expecting? I watched this whole thing as a joke and ended up attached to the characters like a fool... That tends to be a trend here, and this is why we are so salty all the time. So anyway, stay tuned for our review of the characters! We may not cover all of them since some of them don’t really get anything, but we’ll cover what we found interesting.

#spice talks #sugar speaks #anime and game reviews #sweet home alabama: the anime #not putting this in main tag

[pynkhues]

I love Brio as I’m sure many people do what do you think about people saying they’re are a toxic pairing. Do you think their attraction to eachother seems further than sexual attraction? Would you say Dean and Beth are just as toxic? Do you think Brio can work out in season 3?

I mean, yeah, anon, they’re totally toxic. 

They’re also fictional.

It’s interesting, y’know, because I graduated from a bachelor in literature studies about eight years ago now, which isn’t that long ago (although probably is for some of you guys, haha), but the main canon we studied were classic texts like Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, Gone with the Wind, (and some Australian texts everyone should read, namely Prelude to Christopher and, of course, My Brilliant Career), where toxic relationships are kind of the name of the game. 

I think we’re in a really interesting cultural moment where we’re being forced to interrogate that, which is exciting and healthy and good, but I also think that in the frenzy of that right now, sometimes people assume that representing a certain type of relationship in fiction is an endorsement of that relationship, which is usually not the case. Look at Romeo and Juliet, right? Complete disaster babies! Would any of us recommend those kids get together in real life? No! Does that make the play or Baz Luhrmann’s excellent adaptation any less compelling? Also no! We love to watch this stuff!

In terms of Beth and Rio, they are destructive, and unnecessarily cruel to one another, and completely fail to communicate on every level. Their attraction is sexual too, absolutely, but it goes way beyond sexual too. The show has devoted too much energy to showing us the ways that they are more similar than they aren’t to pretend it’s just sexual, and look, I hate to beat a dead horse, but I think S2 did two big things that proved that their connection ran deeper than sex, and 1) was the introduction of Marcus, and 2) was the dubby. Narratively, Marcus is an immovable point now. He is, I think, simultaneously a tether to the Rio she loves the most, and a stone in her shoe when it comes to the Rio she likes the least (that stone inevitably now reminding her of the former). We saw the first in the scenes of them at the park, and the latter in 2.08 when she reminded him of Marcus when he was pulling on his violent gangleader hat.

As for the dubby, I feel like I’ve talked about it enough, haha, but you can always check my 2.07 tag if you want more.

These two are fucked up, and damaged, and playing a game they both simultaneously want to win and don’t want to play at all, and if I knew any real people in a relationship like that, I’d be telling them to clear out. But for fictional characters? Man, do I love it. 

In a lot of ways, I almost think Beth and Dean are a worse sort of toxic purely because they’re more normalised, and it’s a toxicity that is so much more  - - and honestly, I struggle with the phrasing here a bit, but I guess what I mean is socially acceptible toxcity? Dean’s a gaslighter, and I know there was a bit of controversy over certain people using this term in earlier fandom days, but frankly Dean’s cancer lie and his ongoing manipulation of Beth is emotional abuse. He’s constantly finding ways to dig the knife in to get her to be the woman he wants her to be, and it makes for really rough viewing, because I think we all know people (namely women, but not only) in relationships like that. 

And I guess that’s where the difference comes in for me. Putting Manny and Christina’s frankly obscene chemistry aside for a hot second, I think a big part of the attraction of Beth and Rio as a parirng is the fact that for all the toxic elements of them as a couple, Rio has never actually treated her as inconsequential, or - and this is a big word to use in this context, but after re-watching the show, honestly I stand by it - subhuman in the way that Dean has treated her. Rio and Beth respect each other, and they see each other, y’know? And while they are toxic - especially now - there’s a sort of consensual, respectful toxicity there that feels pretty unique, honestly. 

And I know it’s a controversial opinion these days, but I actually do think they can work it out. Her shooting him is definitely something that will need to be addressed, and as an isolated incident it’s devastating, but in the context of the show? He has threatened her, almost killed her, shot and almost killed her husband, almost framed her for a lot of crimes, tried to get her to kill an FBI agent, and of course she isn’t innocent herself by any stretch of the imagination - she’s robbed him, gotten him arrested, lied to him repeatedly, dumped him pretty brutally, and then shot him. I can’t really see anything being a final nail in the coffin for them at this point.

So yeah, anon, they’re toxic, but man if I don’t love them, haha.

#oh gosh this got long haha #anyway #i'd be interested to hear what people think! #beth x rio #nbc good girls #welcome to my ama #that chemistry #checks and balances #catching feelings #beth boland #rio #break ups and make ups #dis/honesty

[icewuerfelchen]

tagged by @antifasera, ily

name: ice/runa

nickname: icicle, ice ice baby, any given ice pun tbh

zodiac sign: virgo

height: 5‘3‘‘

languages: fluent in german and english, conversational in french, reads/writes latin

nationality: german

favorite season: late spring

favorite scent: rose and lavender. my favorite fragrances are ck one, yves saint laurent black opium and shiseido zen. that one was my mother‘s perfume

favorite flower: roses and peonies

favorite animal: cats and horses

favorite fictional character: fluctuates. currently? yasha from critical role

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: hot chocolate but i love me some tea. coffee is a bane straight from hell

average hours of sleep: like 8 or 9 currently

cat or dog person: cats, but i love dogs i‘d just be too lazy to have one cause i wouldn’t wanna walk it

number of blankets you sleep with: one or two

dream trip: back to cornwall although it would be bittersweet now. i‘d also love to go to japan.

broadway shows seen: 0. i saw like half of the phantom of the opera on youtube once

favorite breakfast: pastries, especially donuts

random fact: i own ~20 pairs of shoes, ~10 bags, ~15 jackets, too many skirts and dresses to know off the top of my head, a drawer full of jewelry and many hundreds of dollars worth of makeup. yep. femme rights

tagging: whoever sees this and feels compelled

#about me