#the absolute fucking YEARNING of not being able to fucking touch

[juregim]

and i’d give up forever to touch you

Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto

A Simple Woman - Chelsea Hodson // Sue Zhao // Lovers - Rene Magritte // Your Hands - Florence Ripley Mastin // Like Grains of Sand (dir. Ryosuke Hashiguchi) // No Exit - Jean-Paul Sartre // To Die For - Sam Smith // The Lobster posters (des. Vasilis Marmatakis) // Letters to Milena - Franz Kafka //

#chainsaw man #i am so sorry to my mutuals who couldn’t care less about csm. have u considered that they’re the exact type of tragic that makes me insane #akiangel #aki hayakawa #angel devil #chainsaw man manga #chainsaw man manga spoilers #csm #csm manga #csm manga spoilers #csm spoilers #chainsaw man spoilers #the absolute fucking YEARNING of not being able to fucking touch #and then damning those rules to save his life. fuck #mine* #comparatives #web weaving

[livurlifesworld]

what are they thinking about you + when will you align in each other’s lives and meet? +18

✮ INTUITIVE READING ✮

PILE 1: this person can have a brown skin tone or be of a different cultural descent than you. I don’t know why I heard the greys anatomy meme “pick me, choose me, love me” one of you may be feeling this way towards eachother hinting at some disclosed feelings not yet being shown. Some type of explosive passionate feeling of wanting to let everything out. They want to prove to you they want you. Make love to you, touch you, make you feel the way they’ve been feeling. Holding back. Letting it all out is what I’m hearing. Such a playful energy. Someone may be ticklish. I see being out in a field and having a picnic or a significant moment together. Sharing a moment alone is significant for you two. You need time to let everything out to eachother and listen and cry and feel everything out is truly what I’m getting. Time of alignment between you both may be 3 years from now. I see this because someone or you both may meet when someone moves somewhere. You’re completely enthralled in peace with eachother when you meet. Laughter and love are so significant between y’all it’s like a dream is what I’m seeing. You both are gonna build such a beautiful story together, you act goofy with one another someone may like to dance for real and let loose.

significance: the moon, traveling, and time.

Songs that resonated:

she wants to move - by n.e.r.d and back on 74 by Jungle

PILE 2:

the tension is deep between y’all. When I mean THICK I mean absolutely THICK tension. There’s something significant with lips here and wanting to be able to touch them and feeling fingers against your face. Gazing into your eyes and a lot of physical touch. Could be their best way of showing their love to you. They want you to know they respect you, everything about but they sincerely and severely want you. To cradle you in their arms and to hold l you near and dear to their chest. Caress you and to make you feel seen. One of you may have a hard time speaking up and making your feelings feel heard but they can hear you from a mile away. If you need them they’re there. So so so reliable I’m telling you all. This person may have a more dominant or strong appearance to them. I see their face being more built, masculine, and structured in a sense. They’re beautiful even though they may not see themselves this way. They truly want and love you. May have longer hair that fits their face. It’s fluffy. Alignment may be 2 months or years. Between this time you may be ready to meet and align with each other’s lives. A lot of yearning between this pile, somebody’s gonna break it soon 👀

Significance: purple could be lightening of them room y’all are in (reference album cover of song, that type of purple), age gap, true love

Song that resonated: too deep - by dvsn

PILE 3:

This person has a boisterous laugh and they like to talk. When I mean talk I mean big talk. They seem like a big steppa like come off as a player for real. They may have been at some point but they seriously don’t give a fuck about that once they meet you. You look so fucking good but outside of that you’re making conversation with this person. You sincerely actually speak to them like a human being is what I’m getting. You’re not there for their money or looks. They know how to dress, they have luxuries and live what may appear like a good life but they’re lost. They need you. They need someone to help guide them away from ego, humble them even. They know it too but they’re drawn to what people around them influence them in. A follower even. They’re gonna get out of that as soon as you two have a conversation. This is a spontaneous meeting and conversation. Feels like you two may bump paths or have seen eachother before from somewhere but you can’t put your finger on it. Deja vu for real. You both have a deep and sincere attraction to eachother. You’re very magnetic especially your eyes they draw people in. This person really wants you to forgive them for their mistakes. They feel like a fuck up a lot of the time because they don’t know what they’re doing. They need guidance and self love. Support is big between you both. You may be friends and then become something more. May know eachother from work even. Meeting at a social event or club. Feels like somewhere that may be exciting but you both are so caught up in eachother you eventually leave and don’t care. Be patient with them if you choose to pursue them but hold them accountable. The number 5 is significant here I’m not sure if spirit doesn’t want me to let you know exactly when but 5 months, 5th day, or years. A person is associated with the number 5 though could be family member, sport related, birthday.

Significance: loyalty, support, patience, settle down, marriage, empire. If you’ve heard the phrase recently: “play me like a violin” that may be significant for you.

songs that resonate: girls around the world by Lloyd and confessions pt II by usher

#pick a pile #intuitive readings #tarot #tarot reader #tarot reading #tarotblr #free tarot #tarotcommunity #intuition #intuitive #black tarot readers #+18 tarot

[anantaru]

DAY 31 — drunk sex

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

a/n. hello loves! this concludes the last day of my kinktober, thank you so much to everyone who read along and supported my stuff <3 it means a lot to me and I had so much fun!! after taking a day off, i will post three bonus kinks that will be posted from the 2nd-4th november, that's all and i love you all — yoru <3

𖧡 — including — kazuha, venti

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, drunk syx, teasing venti & dom venti, wall syx, touch starved, both parties are consenting

𖧡 — KAZUHA

sometimes you forget that even kazuha can be defenseless against alcohol and it's negative reactions on the body, let alone make yourself join him in order to watch out for your boyfriend which wasn't originally that big of a deal— despite both of you now, being batshit drunk, randomly lost outside a dark alleyway and essentially starved for each others touch.

"so cute," kazuha coos and hiccups against your lips, "please, voice your pleasure out to me, i yearn to hear you."

to your surprise, it was a miracle that you both were even able to stand tall with all the alcohol you had consumed earlier running through your veins, and well, the truth was— you haven't seen each other for a while, and what better way was there to catch up on your lives with a couple glasses of dandelion wine accompanying adventurous stories and daily activities.

kazuha eagerly pulls at your bottom lip between his teeth as he whines when you suddenly pull yourself away, "come back," he pouts, "one more, heh, ’please," attempting to kiss you again as you dodge him flawlessly.

yet, he wouldn't be sad for too long— because you see, you could barely wait to feel him as well, not just those small, hasty kisses he would plant on you, but the real thing, the one you missed dearly as you turn your body around so your back could face him, your plush ass greedily wiggling over his rigid erection and drawing a low grumble out of his chest.

oh my, you're just so desperate, and kazuha doesn't even try to conceal his excitement when he flips your skirt up, followed by dragging your slicked panties down so they could clumsily dangle around your knees. so now, as he fists his erection in his palm, gathering his pre cum over his shaft so he wouldn't hurt you upon entering your warmth, you bite back a whimper when he nudges his cockhead against your hole before slowly entering you.

"baby," you pant, "hurry, please more," his painfully red and swollen cock gradually filling you up as your own body grows on hotness, almost feeling as if set on fire when the cold wall you were being pressed against served as an easy way to cool yourself off.

kazuha sighs blissfully as he can finally, finally feel you again, he just missed you so much it practically burned his heart to be apart from you for such a long period of time, his head although ringing, the lingering scent of wine hovering between your bodies when everything appears as if trapped in a blur.

one hand, wraps around your waist while the other presses close to the cold wall to keep his stability, or well, both of your stabilities.

if anything, both of you would die of embarrassment tomorrow that you even had the audacity to fuck outside, shamelessly yearning for those shallow thrusts of his hips smacking against your plush ass that would drive you into absolute madness with unfaltering greed and begs to feel him even quicker, better and finer, his cock rolling in and out of your wet cunt and sending tingles down your spine, your legs wobbly and your erected nipples harshly brushing against the cold wall.

𖧡 — VENTI

there was a sonata playing in your head on repeat, and at first— you wonder where it came from, then remember that you must've picked it up during the past hours of drowning yourself in booze together with venti happily joining you— and everything started out pretty innocent, in fact, you never really seemed to have looked at him for much longer than two seconds, aside from joyfully listening and humming along to his songs whenever he performed at the angels share.

groaning deeply, venti sloppily kisses your lips while fisting his semi hard erection into the little tunnel of his palm— and again, you curse yourself that you have never admired him from up close, despite the fact that your own vision was blurry, your head slightly spinning as you watch every curve and ridge of venti's solid abs tense and let go in tune with his cock rutting into his hand.

although he too, lets his eyes follow down your body and looks at your glossed up folds drenched in your own slick, your legs parted so he could settle himself in between, "I bet you're so soft," venti slurrs happily, moving forward to roll the leaking tip of his cock across your folds as you flinch at the feeling, pulling out a strangled sound that scratched over the back of your throat.

"you know," he starts, shamelessly nudging his tip over your fluttering hole— so shameless, in fact that you're wondering if it was just the alcohol making him exceptionally confident right now or if he's always like that, taking into consideration that the bard was treating himself to quite the amount of liquor day by day.

"i will admit... i never had the guts to speak to you," he cackles, practically admitting that he was harboring at least something for you, which, truthfully made you let out a surprised gasp— although you haven't thought about venti in such ways before, you were finding yourself drawn to him for whatever reason, it's almost like something divine would pull you to him whenever he performed songs that you considered your favorites.

"you— uh, really?" you breathe and swallow hard, and next thing you know he slides himself in without warning, huffing out a strangled groan as your wet warmth instantly envelopes around his shaft, rolling his hips all the way inside so he could grind against your neglected clit.

"venti!" you whine, "don't just— do that!" bucking your hips as he drapes his body on top of yours, your slick oozing out and wrapping around his shaft. but he grins slyly at you, slamming his dripping length into you as your wet heat clung onto him, your arms folded around his chest so you could whine and sob into his neck.

"me? do what?" feigning innocence, he reaches up to squeeze one breast, and the sight of you enjoying how he pumps his thickness into you was intoxicating, so erotic that he violently twitches inside your tight hole.

"oh, silly!" he continues, "you're so cute, with your mouth open, looking all desperate!" and before you can even answer to that, he pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, his harsh thrusts making you moan into his mouth as he skillfully inches back and forth your tight cunt.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #kazuha x reader #kazuha smut #venti x reader #venti smut #kazuha x you #venti x you #kinktober #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles

[im-poe-dameron]

─── BREATHE ME IN

a/n: so um...i have no idea what this is. i started this when the kenobi series was coming out and sort of dropped it after a month. but here i am, finally finishing it and making it longer than it was supposed to be. did we really expect me not to find darth vader hot? i think he's where my whole loving a masked character came from. honestly this is basically filth with me trying to shove plot in not so subtly. so i hope y'all enjoy!

summary: the jedi fell and darth vader rose to power, but there's a secret he hides even from his own master.

word count: 5.5k+ (because i'm insane)

pairing: darth vader x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, cussing, angst, tenderness which is shocking, thigh riding, choking (obviously), oral (male receiving), a tad bit of face fucking, dom/sub dynamics, rough p in v sex, overstimulation, more hints of anakin than vader.

You’ll never be able to forget the scent of him after that night one month ago. It was branded in your mind, forever a part of you as he bent you to his will—made you his without even saying a single word. You should have fought him on it; made him see that you weren’t ready to relinquish the power you once held, but you knew the man beneath the mask he wore. You had known Anakin before he became this, before he twisted himself up inside and gave into being Darth Vader.

Even now as you stood in your small home on a planet far away from the Empire’s touch, you could feel his control over you. Long before the order was given and Jedi were slaughtered, you had been one of them. A knight who fought alongside Anakin in the Clone Wars—a warrior who chose the side of good rather than evil.

Then things fell apart. You were told that the man you loved, the person you cherished the most, gave into the dark side.

He became a stranger once more.

But nobody runs from Anakin for long—especially when he’s become a force more powerful than any Jedi could ever hope to be. You were hiding out on Devaron when he found you, attempting first to turn you to the dark side with him. Only for you to see something break in his exterior, his walls dropping for a split second and you felt it like a punch to the chest. He needed you.

This absolute desire was not born out of lust but pure necessity, because even as Darth Vader…Anakin Skywalker still lived beneath the mask and he didn’t know how to live without you. You’d always been the person he turned to when Obi-Wan wouldn’t understand the nature of his feelings. When he could no longer control them himself.

So, he left you there—allowing you to remain a Jedi who chose the light side of the Force over him. But he would return again and again. Desperate for someone to put his strained mind at ease—the memories of his past haunting him with every waking day. Perhaps that's where the submission started. In helping him by allowing him into your bed, into your heart little by little each time until eventually…you yearned for him to.

Jedi weren’t allowed to have such strong attachments, but as a Sith…he could keep you as his for as long as possible. A deal you wholeheartedly agreed to with a single word.

The stars were starting to shine brightly in the night sky as you traversed the dense forest of Devaron, your lightsaber clipped to your side and hood drawn up over your head. You heard his ship land ten minutes ago; knew he now stood in the center of your home awaiting your arrival. So, you took your time. Anakin never liked to wait, Darth Vader was no different, and somehow that brought a smile to your face. So desperate to see you that he would battle his way through the forest alone to find you again.

He would come after you—you knew he would—and that brought back the pool of heat that always found its way to your body when he arrived.

There was something twisted about loving him even the way he was now. How could you, a Jedi Knight of your ability, love something so dark? How could you give into the sinister deliciousness of that side, yet still remain so true to the light side of the Force? The answer was simpler than you thought. In your mind he still remained as Anakin the man you loved and even though you knew what he did, what he now became, you couldn’t let go of your heart fully.

Even if the scars now showed as small canyons and ridges, each one holding a darkness that would ultimately cause your demise.

He knew this.

Nobody loved Darth Vader, nobody gave themselves to the most powerful Sith in the galaxy, without understanding they would die because of it one day. Perhaps that’s what caused the absolute ache in your bones at the mere sight of him. The thought of one day no longer being by his side. Some Jedi may claim you were betraying what you believed in—destroying yourself just for an inkling of mind numbing pleasure—but it was more than that. Pleasure ultimately gave way to the pain of loving someone beyond saving.

As expected you arrived at your small house to the sight of a black ship—big enough for one—in the clearing that was solely used by him. The darkness bled through the Force, encasing you in a biting cold as you walked towards the already open door. One might say the sight of him standing amidst your tiny living room was terrifying enough to run away. But you were never one to cower in fear from him and you refused to start now.

His head tilted, energy stretching out towards you through the old connection you used to have with him, and with a small smile you reached back. Twining your brilliant blue around his obsidian nature until you saw him shudder beneath his cloak.

“You’re late,” he said—his voice something you had to continue to get used to.

Humming, you dropped your robe onto the chair behind him, heading towards your small makeshift kitchen where you knew there’d be some bread from the day before. He turned, watching you move as you continued to press your Force signature against his own—reminding him of a time when he too held a blue lightsaber brighter than yours. This was a two way street. You savored the bitter sweetness of the dark side, relishing in the rush of power that flowed through your veins, and he once again fell back into what he used to know. The calming serenity of the light side.

“You’re early,” you teased, knowing his temper was far worse than before. However he always seemed to control it around you—the tight grip he had on his anger evident in the way his fist clenched.

“Where did you go?” He demanded more than asked nowadays and so you stayed silent, awaiting for the flare of anger to shove its way into your mind.

It never came though. The silence almost shocked you as you turned, eating the remainder of the bread. But that’s what he wanted out of you—a reaction that would show you actually acknowledge his presence. How could you not? When he stood there looking like the true embodiment of the dark side of the Force. Although there were times when you missed the sight of Anakin standing before you—a smile on his face that always reached his blue eyes.

“Exploring,” you said, eyes flickering down the length of him—taking in the sight of his rigid stance. “How long are you here for?”

“Tonight.”

His answers were blunt, to the point, because he didn’t have time to dawdle. You were his secret, you knew this. If anyone found out you’d be killed and knowing who Darth Vader answered to…he’d be forced to do it himself. So, you nodded and finished the remainder of your bread as you continued to watch him—prodding at the wall of his mind to hopefully see within. But they remained up, blocking you from anything other than his Force signature which remained tightly entwined with your own.

“How long will you be gone for?”

He paused, pressing against the walls of your mind to see what exactly you were thinking, but you knew he didn’t wish to forcefully tear them down. You were not a person he was interrogating—rather a lover who he may very well lose if he didn’t act accordingly. His fist clenched again, the struggle to remain in complete control now wavering as you stalled for time. He knew what you were doing and yet he still played along.

“I don’t know.”

You hummed, once more pressing against the wall in his mind. It was dangerous to be let inside—having seen what he harbored behind the thick barrier—but your curiosity always wished to drag you into trouble.

What was safety compared to intimately knowing the most lethal person in existence? To you there would be nothing more intriguing, nothing more worth the risk than this simple gesture.

“Don’t,” he spit out, stepping closer until your lower back was digging into the counter.

“You let me in once before—”

His gloved hand landed on your throat, silencing your words and causing a shudder to run down your spine. Though the position wasn’t unfamiliar, it still brought a small inkling of fear to peek its head out. He could kill you—without remorse. Yet he never did. He simply remained, holding your throat as tenderly as he possibly could—relearning what the meaning of gentle was. That thought alone brought a dazed smile to your face, your eyes nearly fluttering closed as his thumb ran along the column of your neck.

“That is no longer a luxury you are allowed to have.”

The words were sinister on his tongue, like a sharp knife to your heart, but you’d been scarred by him before. “Is it because I know what I’ll find? Or are you afraid?”

His control finally snapped, the pressure on your throat now crushing you until you struggled for air. But he didn’t squeeze harder, he didn’t make sure that you were unable to breathe completely, because he couldn’t cross that line. He refused to. You were the only light he let slip through the cracks of his helmet; the one thing keeping him stable on the ground and while it wasn’t very Darth Vader of him to keep you—it was the part of Anakin that still remained that held onto you tightly.

“You know nothing.”

Despite the lack of oxygen, you smiled. “I know you.”

The words came out choked and broken, but it was enough. He froze, his hand loosening around your throat as the final realization clicked into place just like it always did when he found his way back to you.

You knew him—knew Anakin that lay beneath the surface and Vader that rose to power crushing him in the end. You knew all the ugly bits that showed through the evident splinters of his being and in spite of all of that…you still loved him. Whenever he left you he seemed to forget that when he came here he didn’t have to wear a shroud of anger that resembled his cape. He didn’t have to wean himself from the light side with every bittersweet touch, because you held no expectations of him.

“Anakin,” you breathed, hand sliding along his leather covered limb. “Come home.”

Little by little you saw his walls come down, felt the darkness seep into his Force signature until you were surrounded by it. Until the only light left between the two of you was yours—guiding him back to you for a brief moment. He’d only be here tonight, so you’d have tonight.

You would take as much time as you were allowed if it meant seeing Anakin for a brief moment again.

“Anakin is dead,” he muttered, hand shifting until his thumb was pressing against your bottom lip. “I killed him.”

Parting your lips you allowed him to invade your senses even further—the taste of the leather permeated your mouth, driving a moan from your throat. Digging your nails into his arm, you felt him push against you—forcing his way into your mind and showing you images of a past that felt like yesterday. Anakin’s face flashed before you, the smile you ached to see again finally coming back to you, and it drew a whimper to the surface. A sound he liked if the pressure on your tongue was enough to go by.

The scene shifted and you felt the heat flare to life in your stomach as you saw yourself beneath him, sobbing his name as he practically shoved you into all encompassing bliss. Memories he still held onto—torturing himself because he could no longer have you in the way he wanted. But above all that, one stuck to the forefront of your mind. The taste of him as he kissed you; devoured everything you were and felt greedy enough to take even more.

The first hints of the dark side within him.

“Maker,” you gasped as he ripped his hand away, reaching for the ties of your robes. “I miss it too.”

Gathering enough of your energy you used the Force to shove him backwards until he stumbled into the wall behind him—his large frame taking up too much space. To anyone else it would have felt suffocating, but to you…this was as safe as you were ever going to get. He ached to have his old self back not to be a Jedi again. No, he thrived in the sinister ways of the Sith. He wanted to be Anakin, to have you again by his side—to kiss you like he used to on nights where things became too heavy a burden to carry alone.

Somehow in the midst of you pushing him back and him resisting you ended up pinned to the wall of your bedroom by him. He didn’t even have to touch you to make you beg for more; for you to do anything he wanted. This is what bending to his will became and he loved it.

He stood inches away, the tips of his boots touching yours and so like a fool you let your walls down without any warning. Shoving every memory and burning need his way until he was gasping through the modulator—his hand slamming against the wall beside your head. Each moment you were with him, each touch and night neither of you slept—too busy finding what made the other tick—it all poured into his mind. You made him see what you saw whenever you were near him even with the mask.

The cold feeling of his mask pressed against your cheek as he tried to push himself closer. This is all it would amount to. Nights spent in secret when really the both of you ached for one last thing. Something you never got.

A farewell kiss.

“Anakin,” you said softly, hand sliding to his shoulder. “Are you home?”

He let out a breath, the sound distorted through the modulator before finally breaking down the last of his walls. “Yes.”

You didn’t know how long tonight would truly last and so you began to clutch at his arm, feeling a hot press of his gloved hand dig into your thigh as he raised it to his hip. A natural movement he’d done a hundred times over. That was enough to make you smile, a small bit of laughter echoing off the walls of your tiny room. Although darkness still clung to him, still twisted tightly around your Force energy, he remained the man you loved.

Both Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader alike.

“Tell me,” he groaned, shoving his knee up gently and fitting it right at the seam of your pants.

It almost didn’t feel fair how he knew your body so well—how he knew which way to move you to finally hear that familiar moan tumble past your lips.  Grinding your hips down, your head fell back against the wall when pressure was finally applied to your throbbing clit, sending sparks down your spine. You knew he watched every emotion, expression, and heard every sound behind that helmet and somehow…that made it even more electric.

“Tell me,” he demanded, hand going back to your throat and keeping you in place as his other one guided your hips along his thigh.

Fuck, you were still clothed and felt like you would fall apart at any moment.

“I—” Moaning, your hands scrambled for purchase along his chest. “I love you.”

Placing pressure on your throat he shoved pressed his thigh upwards, watching your eyes flutter shut, a high-pitched gasp escaping you as you finally broke. Light flooded his senses, nearly breaking his stance, but the sight of you writhing in his grasp—whimpers falling from your lips was too addicting for him to let go of. They say that the dark side made one greedy; desperate for whatever they wanted, and in this moment he was prepared to take and take until you had nothing left to give.

He knew you’d let him. You would give him whatever he asked for.

“Anaki—” He cut you off, dragging you along his thigh again and watching as your face twisted. Both pain and pleasure collided as you were shoved into overstimulation.

“Again,” he said, moving his hand from your hip to your pants—helping you yank them off until the leather of his glove slid through your hot slick. “I want to see you do it again.”

“Oh fuck.”

Gasping for air, you dug your teeth into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he ruthlessly began to toy with your clit. He knew exactly what to do to shove you right on that edge again and perhaps that’s what flung you over it. Or maybe it was him shoving the same words back into your own mind until it echoed over and over again.

I love you.

Sith didn’t care about things like love, but Anakin Skywalker was never truly a Sith just as he was never truly a Jedi.

He was stuck in between—crossing the border of want and need.

“I can’t.” A cry ripped from you as his other hand moved down from your neck to your chest, rubbing a thumb over your nipple. “I—Anakin I can’t.”

He chuckled, the sound menacing even to you. “Yes you can.”

This wasn’t a question—it was a choice of when you’d finally give in. The pressure in your body built, the coil twisting as he continued to rub sharp circles on your clit. When your legs began to shake and your vision became blurry from tears, you knew you were right there on the very edge of shattering, but you couldn’t. Not until he joined you on that edge—relenting his power to give you some of your own.

“Say it,” you begged, eyes screwing shut as he sunk two fingers into you right to the knuckle—his thumb continuing. “Say it for me. Please I need—I need to—”

“I love you.”

The words sounded foreign coming from his modulator, but you knew this was Anakin speaking not the twisted side of him that fed off of pain. He’d finally ripped free from the cage he was put in, leeching off the light coming from you with glee. He may not have meant the words entirely, but they did what you both intended them to do.

Sobbing his name, you felt the pressure snap in two flooding your body with a white-hot pleasure. You could hear his fingers as they continued to pump into you, rubbing against the spot along your walls that made your legs shake and tears flow down your cheeks.

“That’s it,” he muttered, hand going around your neck to hold you in place as you practically grinded on his hand—the pleasure still coursing through your veins.

You were lost to it. Mind numb to everything else but him standing before you.

It took you a few minutes to catch your breath and gain feeling in your limbs again and he waited. Gave you a chance to breathe as he fought against the impatience that trickled into his veins—a quality that was unnatural to him. Once you were finally able to open your eyes, sighing in contentment, you focused on his mind—allowing yourself a chance to see inside of it. As always it was inner turmoil that had you flinching, but right now all you saw were memories of you and him. The same ones he played over and over again while he was away from you.

“And here I thought you never missed me while you were away,” you said, lips curving into a smile sweet enough to taste.

“I don’t miss you.” He leaned closer, hand reaching down to cup your swollen cunt. “I miss this.”

Words like that should have stung, but you knew him better than that. You knew why he said the things he said. So you smiled wider, dragging his arm up until his hand was in front of your face, the black leather shiny with your cum. Twining your Force signature around him until he couldn’t escape, you sucked his fingers into your mouth, moaning at the taste of yourself. He didn’t expect you to give in so easily—usually enjoying the fight you put him through. But tonight you’d settle for this so you could gain more.

“We’ll see about that,” you whispered, kissing his palm and dropping his arm.

You wanted him to give over the control he ached for; wanted to watch as the last of his residual armor came crashing down around you. Only one person would be able to say they brought Darth Vader down to their knees and it was you. His light, his moon, his lover.

Pushing his leg away, you pressed your hands on his chest, wishing you could once again feel the strong heartbeat beneath his skin. The steady thrum of it put you to sleep on long nights when you snuck away from the Jedi Temple, but for now you’d have to settle for the rhythmic timing of his breaths as they echoed around the room.

Without another thought, you dropped to your knees in front of him—his body keeping you caged in along the wall. You figured he already knew what you were going to do, if the way he widened his stance told you anything. His hand cupped the back of your neck, tilting your gaze back towards him. It was the gentle nature of his touch that sent heat spilling into your heart. Anakin flared to life right before your eyes with every passing minute.

Undoing his belt, you allowed yourself a moment to admire what lay beneath the leather. What he always drew your attention away from. The skin was burnt, scarred beyond anything you’d ever seen before, but that never mattered to you. He stood stiff, his other hand pressed against the wall, helmet focused on you. Almost like he was unsure of what would happen.

Would you not care? Or would what remained not be what you wanted?

“Oh…” you gasped when he was finally free.

He was scarred there too, you’d felt it before. Except you weren’t shocked by that; no you were surprised by how worked up he was. The glossy sheen of precum building up at the tip practically dripped down your palm as you held him—begging for you to taste. Leaning forward, you took the head of his cock into your mouth, the guttural moan he let out sending a flare of heat through your body.

“Is this for me?” you asked sweetly, knowing it would only succeed in riling him up even more.

He grunted, his hand pushing you forward until his cock was once more back in your mouth. Although you didn’t mind in the slightest. Not when his addicting salty tang spread on your tongue the longer you sucked on the head. He was shameless with the sounds he made. Entirely focused on his pleasure, but you felt the way he softly rubbed his thumb along your neck, sending goosebumps down your skin.

“Take me deeper,” he said, already knowing you were heading that way anyways. “I know you can.”

You moaned when he hit the back of your throat, his hips thrusting forward slightly until you gagged. That alone only made him do it again. Pressing against the firm line that stood between the both of you. He wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want—as long as you gave him control. Something you were more than okay with handing over.

It’s not like you had any semblance of it before he became Darth Vader. Anakin had always been one to take what he deemed he deserved. Except when it came to you, he always gave you the choice. Even now as your nose brushed the base of his cock, your throat squeezing him so tight his whole body shuddered, you still held the choice.

You sucked in a breath when he pulled away, tears streaming down your cheeks and spit covering your chin. Part of you wanted to keep going—to feel him spill down your throat—but you knew that wasn’t what he was here for. Dragging you up, he pressed the cold shell of his helmet against your forehead, hands grasping your hips tightly.

“I need—” He cut himself off, a loud breath reverberating through his modulator. 

For the first time that night you felt it. The small flicker of blue in his otherwise black Force signature. Only in moments like this, when his desperation practically permeated the air, did you find your Anakin.

The only thing stronger than Palpatine’s hold over him had always been the love he felt for you—that was clear to you now.

“I know,” you murmured, leading him back and watching as he sat on your bed. His large frame practically took up the entire room. He spread his legs, allowing you to step between them, but you had a different plan altogether.

Clambering onto his lap, you held yourself up as you positioned his cock at your entrance. Your slick practically pooled over him, making it easier for you to take him in one thrust. But rather than rush this, you held yourself there. Hovering over his needy and wanting cock—making him wait for the one thing he so desperately needed. The blue flickered again, vibrating through you and forcing a gasp from your lungs.

You longed to pull it closer until it enveloped you entirely; til you suffocated from its light. But whatever remained was now small and fleeting, only seen in moments like this. His grasp turned harsh, impatient. Letting you know that he only had so much left in him before he took back the small sliver of control he allotted you.

Your whole body shook as you finally lowered yourself, feeling the stretch of his cock sliding into your cunt. A growl ripped from his chest, his hands pressing you down further and watching in delight as your head fell back, a garbled shout echoing off the walls. You went dizzy with the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure. It rushed through you, setting each nerve in your body alight with a burning fire.

Which only made everything shine brighter.

Light flooded his senses, your Force signature practically bleeding out into the room. And he took it. He swallowed it whole in his never ending darkness with the hope that you were never extinguished.

“More,” you gasped, fingers digging into the leather that covered his shoulder.

He shoved his hips upward, grinding against you and tearing a sound from your chest that seared into his mind instantly. You were a wanton mess. Barely hanging on to the person you were thirty minutes ago—before he came back into your life. Instead there you were. The lover who fed off of his darkness; who took what the Jedi Order claimed was forbidden and begged for more.

“Maker—fuck—I-I’m oh fuck—” You made no sense, but that’s the way he wanted you. An incoherent babbling mess that rode his cock to chase that feeling only he could bring you.

Lifting yourself up slightly, you dropped back down haphazardly, hating the emptiness that came with his cock slipping out of you. A sound tore through his modulator, his hands tightening on your hips as you set a brutal pace. He groaned when your walls tightened around him, the sound of your skin slapping against the leather of his pants echoing in the room. If you listened closely you could hear the wet squelch of your slick as he set his own pace, pounding into you without abandon.

“Please, Anakin please,” you cried, unsure of what you were begging for.

He seemed to know though.

Without a response, his hand wrapped around your throat, pressing down tightly as he thrusted upwards even harder. The lack of oxygen seemed to only heighten the sensation you chased—pleasure building up to an almost painful degree in your body.

He bent you to his will, guiding your body in a way that felt familiar. You didn’t have to think when he was here, didn't need to focus your energy on any of this, because he did it for you. His gloved thumb pressed against your lips until you opened up with ease, sucking his finger into your mouth with a moan. It gave you a chance to take in a deep breath before he clamped down tight around your throat again. Turning your vision hazy.

“Good,” he muttered, pulling the spit slicked finger from your mouth. Only to press it firmly against your clit.

Your body arched, a broken cry falling from your lips as tears streamed down your face. It was too much, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to ask him to stop. You didn’t want him to. The pleasure nearly blinded you with each thrust of his cock into your dripping cunt. But what made you fall wasn’t the feeling of him finally striking against the spot that made your body curl in on itself.

No, it was the image he projected in your mind.

“That’s what you like huh,” Anakin’s voice grunted in your head, his blue eyes just as bright as before.

You sobbed out a garbled yes, eyes rolling back. The image continued. A bright blue light wrapped itself around you, nearly burning you from the inside out as he pinched your clit between his fingers. And you chased it; grabbed onto the sensation tightly and let it fill your chest until you swore your heart stopped beating.

“I want you to cum. Let me see my pussy drip for me,” he spit, dragging you closer until you were pressed so tight it nearly hurt.

“Don’t,” you gasped, shoving the image of Anakin away from your mind, eyes focusing on the empty soulless black mask he wore. His hand let up slightly, allowing you breath to speak. “I want to see you. Not him.”

Warmth spread through your chest when his hips stuttered, a groan reverberating against your breast. You wished you could kiss him. Feel the hot press of his lips on yours, but this—feeling him thrust into you quickly—was enough. His hand tightened again as his cock drove up into you harshly, hitting right where you needed to fly off the edge. Your mouth fell open, a broken sob making its way through as the all encompassing heat you so desired began to spill through your body.

A snarl ripped through your very being when he finally joined you, spurting into your swollen cunt and filling you until you leaked around the base of him. Except he didn’t stop. He pushed forward, thrusting into you until pain filtered through the pleasure. Once more you were shoved into that bliss, drowning in it with no way out.

Sobbing his name, you felt your body shake as he finally ceased his movements, allowing you to sag against him. The energy was completely depleted from you and he knew it. Which is why he didn’t move. Simply breathed deeply, his softening cock still deep in you, causing you to moan slightly at every soft twitch.

“How long until you have to go?” you sighed, your fingers tracing random shapes against his armor.

“Soon.”

“Will you come back?”

You knew you wouldn’t receive an answer. You never did, because even he didn’t know when Palpatine would finally release him again from his grasp. He let out a breath, his hands cupping your ass as he molded you to him. The blue light still flickered amidst the darkness, turning his once bleak Force signature a brilliant midnight color. And for a moment you saw the real him. The man who lay beyond the layers of his armor.

Laying a kiss against the cold shell of his mask, you allowed yourself a moment to be enveloped by him. The darkness would return eventually, wiping away the man who sat beneath you. But for now, he was here and he was yours.

Smiling, you pressed against it with your own, feeling him shudder beneath you. It was like looking at the night sky—a sight you wanted to keep until you were left alone once more. Curling around his body, you allowed sleep to finally overtake you, your mind soothed by the soft touch of the Force he pressed against you.

Only then did you realize.

In the small space of your home, beneath the strain of a galaxy under siege, your Anakin finally found his way home again.

#darth vader x f!reader #darth vader x reader #darth vader x you #darth vader x y/n #darth vader smut #darth vader #anakin skywalker x f!reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker smut #star wars fic #my writing

[iifishizzleii]

johnny mactavish who has a sister— you.

part two unedited 😛

you’re younger than him by five years, a sweet, soft thing that has no business being so close to his work life. but you’re stubborn and caring, and you force him to tell you every time he’s back from a mission so you can go to his flat and make him dinner while you two catch up on (your) life.

you’re his best friend. the thorn in his side. his baby sister that deserves only the best of the world in every aspect. you always get the good things, even if it means johnny has to deal with the consequences. especially when it comes to men.

johnny is a protective older brother. he’ll want to meet the guy you fall in love with and have the typical gun in hand while johnny cleans it like how his dad would have done if he were still around. he’ll want to not so subtly threaten to wipe the guy’s existence off of the face of the earth if he so much as makes you cry, and send the guy home pissing his pants. sure, you’ll get mad at him, but johnny’s seen what heartbreak does to people.

he knows his sister. you put your heart into all that you do, and if it gets thrown in your face after being stomped and spat on? he doesn’t want to see what happens to you after that. he wouldn’t be able to without breaking several laws.

so, when it comes to johnny’s sister, you, he’s very picky with the men you bring to his flat to introduce.

until the evening you meet his lieutenant. simon ghost riley. because johnny had gone drinking with the men after a particularly rough mission, and after getting absolutely smashed, price takes it upon himself to contact the only person the scot has in his phone. you.

and johnny should have known. he should have known.

the moment he saw you outside the bar, ghost’s arm under his and wrapping around the sergeant’s waist to keep him steady. the way you greet the 141 with a gentle smile and light voice. the way you stare at ghost a beat too long, and the way his grip on johnny’s waist tightens slightly as he returns your hello with one of his own. one that’s not as gruff, not as piercing as it usually was when meeting a stranger.

like how it was when he first met johnny.

and he hates it. he hates it so fucking much.

the way you and ghost click so easily. how ghost starts spending more and more time around johhny’s place after he met you. how his voice softens when he speaks to his sister, how his gaze loses its sharpness. how he watches her every move, a look of yearning and adoration growing by the day in those soft brown eyes of his.

johnny hates it.

because that wasn’t supposed to be you. that was supposed to be him.

he was supposed to be getting the gentle touches and quiet huffs of laughter. he was supposed to be the one ghost gave dry compliments to so he could smile at them. he was supposed to be the reason ghost stopped smoking because he didn’t like the scent that lingered. he was the one ghost was supposed to whisper inside jokes to whenever they were surrounded by other people. that was supposed to be him sitting at ghost’s side, his head on the taller man’s shoulder as they watched an inaccurate military movie, so that they could critique it throughout because it was him who knew that ghost liked to do those kinds of things.

but, you always get the good things. even if it means johnny has to deal with the consequences.

#call of duty #cod #call of duty mw3 #call of duty 3 #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #cod ghost #johnny soap mactavish #soap mw3 #soap cod #ghost cod #cod soap #soap #ghost #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #simon riley #ghoap #ghost x soap #soap x ghost #but it’s all one sided #sibling reader #angst with no happy ending #one sided ghoap #one sided love #john soap mactavish #f!reader x ghost

[minimallyminnie]

Unspoken Words.

I’m trying out a new format for my posts so don’t mind me~

Summary- When Azul focuses too much on work than you, it doesn’t go well. Will he chose work or his significant other..?

Tw: Reader being sad, Azul crying, yes there’s a fucking child

Tags: Gn Reader x Azul Ashengrotto, Gn reader, Yes you are the prefect, Azul being a silly himbo/hj, happy ending, gn child, you can imagine yourself with the kid being biological or adopted, whatever you choose

Enjoy you poor unfortunate souls…

“Azul?” You called out into his study looking for your love

“I am very busy right now. What do you want?” He said, not looking up from his contracts

“They’re…they’re in bed, you don’t need to worry about them but, when will you come to bed?”

He voice displays no emotion as he continues on working

“Not right now. Later.”

You bite your lip and grip the door handle tighter. You wanted him to come back to sleep by your side. But work always was first place in his life rather than anyone or anything else.

“Azul…I…” You look up with a tiny piece of hope that he would look at you but to no avail. “Nevermind…I love you Azzy…” You don’t hear a response back but rather a pen scratching the paper.

Sighing softly, you head to the cold room hurt.

You lie down on the bed, underneath the blankets but yet, you’re still cold.

Taking your pillow, you hold it and just let your tears leak down.

Azul was a smart man. Yes, he overblotted because of various things…but he’s a smart man.

He managed to get his business far and profitable. He’s successful. The Maestro cafe being much further than he’d ever imagined.

Azul has a family and a successful life…

Yes, his family wants to spend time with him but he’s trying to keep everything together so he can grow his business and provide for them.

But…he doesn’t know why his heart feels like it’s yearning for something…

Like he’s doing something wrong, but what is it?

He ends up dozing off in the end.

“Daddy.”

Jade, Floyd, Azul and you are startled by the small child that just walked into Maestro cafe and hugged Floyd’s leg

“Floyd?! We literally took a class in biology to use prote-“

“Let’s not say that in front of the kid!” You cut Azul off

He picks up the child, expecting them to cry

“Ooh~! I could squeeze you to death little guppy!”

“Floyd! You’re going to scare-“

Instead of crying or screaming, the guppy laughs and puts their hands on Floyd’s cheeks

You put the cleaning cloth into the back of your pocket while you and Jade laugh at both of them

“Aww~! Can we keep it Jade? Azul?”

“I think we should since we need more helpers~”

“Cut it out you two, we don’t even know who’s it is!”

“You shouldn’t call a child an it…” You told your friend

Once the youngest hears you speak, they look at you and make grabby hands

And then they call out to you using their name for you

And everyone looks absolutely shocked

“I’m sorry, what.”

“Little shrimpy has a guppy?!”

“Oh great seven, you didn’t tell us this~”

Floyd happily hands the child to you and instantly, they laugh in your arms

“This baby isn’t mine! I swear on my life you three!”

And the twins start to draw closer to you as Azul looks terrified in the back

Until—

“Papa!” The 5 year old reaches to touch Jade’s cheeks

“Jade, Floyd, [Name]! Did you three have one child altogether or something behind my back?!”

“No!” “Perhaps!”

And it happens all over again…

When you four tell Crowley about it, he tells you to deal with it yourself in a paraphrased term until the baby bit his arm

He then says to keep it in Ramshackle or Octavinelle, which to keep Grim from complaining or arguing with the child, you all decided to keep them in Octavinelle

When you asked Lilia about it, he said that the baby was somehow sent to the past and that he was able to get it back at the end of the week

You silently celebrated in your confusion towards the young child. It was Monday so you only had to last until Sunday! Good enough!

After your shift at Maestro cafe, you always went to the vip room with Azul and Jade to see Floyd hanging out with the child

Strangely enough, they didn’t seem to want to play with Azul very much. Going as far as clinging onto one of the Tweel’s or yours arm instead and a frustrated Azul not knowing what he did wrong, rereading contracts

In the middle of the week, you’re busy doing something with the rest of the first years and the twins have to make up a test so it’s just Azul and the small child that for some reason, did not like him.

The child sits far away coloring with crayons, quiet, not trying to bother him to play with them. Like…it’s some sort of burden.

Azul wonders as he writes on another contract what he did wrong

And he finally gets his guts together

Rolling up the paper, he sets it aside and moves closer to the child

“What are you drawing?”

“…My family.” They say quietly, unlike the boisterous yelling they do with the others

“May I take a look?”

“Y’never look when I wan’ you to.”

That perks Azul’s attention up

“Do you know me in the future?”

The child nods hesitantly

“You…you’re my real papa. Y’don’t like me very much though.”

Azul’s eyes widen

“I-I’m y-your father?”

“Yeah…” They stop their drawing and slides it to Azul’s side

There was them in the middle of you and the Tweels. Azul being on the other side of the paper.

“[Child’s Name]…May I ask you why ‘I don’t like you’ in your time and why I’m far away even when I’m your father?”

“Y’don’t play with me. You don’t eat with me n’ [Nickname] at the table, you…you always in your study room working on…c-cont-racts.”

A sniffle comes from the child

“I see Jadey and Flo around more than you…I can see [Nickname] being sad cause y’not there. You..you only care ‘bout work.”

Oh and how Azul’s heart shatters hearing about this. He does get with his crush and have a family, but he took it for granted. Future him took his happy family for granted. The route he’s going now, only focusing on his own profit, will only cause pain.

He cusses in his head.

“No, no, I don’t care about work. Not now.” Azul moves to the child’s side, picking them up into his arms and hugging them tightly

“I don’t know what happened in the future but, I would love you. No matter what. Future me is quite silly so do not believe in him.”

“You…you really wanna be my daddy?”

“I don’t ‘wanna’ be, I am your father. I shouldn’t have taken that for granted. To have a cute mini octopus like you in my life as well as your [Nickname] makes me feel happy. I don’t know what will happen once you get sent back but for the rest of this week, I will give you everything.”

“Pinky promise?” Azul rubs the tears away with a handkerchief as they point their pinky out. He smiles happily

“Pinky promise.” He clasps their pinkys together

After they finish crying, they turn over to the table and scratches the former paper with a black crayon before getting a new one

“Oh? Why did you do that?”

“Daddy wants to be with me! I wanna remake it now!”

“Can I draw with you then?”

“Yeah!”

Needless to say when the three of you rushed over to the vip room expecting the baby to cry or be alone, you all are surprised seeing a Azul with them in his lap, both drawing while having a conversation.

What’s more surprising?

The soft expression Azul has on his face.

Your heart beats a bit faster as adoration pops up in your chest.

Lilia had told you all that after he sent them back, that everyone would lose their memories. With that, Azul used that to his advantage and told you three who the child really belonged to.

The Tweels spent an hour teasing you and Azul about it

When it’s time to say goodbye, Lilia is busy reading the spell while the child hugs the twins tightly

“Bye bye Jadey! Bye bye Flo!”

“Wahh…does guppy have to go…?”

“Unless you want a time paradox or something, yeah they do.” Lilia pats both of twins on the back

Fortunately for you and Azul who were watching in the back, the twins backed off and gave you a moment’s peace with your the child.

“[Nickname]! Papa!” They come up and you both kneel down to reciprocate their embrace

Your eyes lock with Azul’s and for a split second he sees you in a wedding outfit. Your left hand which was laying on top of the guppy’s head was adorned with two rings.

He blinks and sees you in the normal school uniform but can’t help but smile happily at his future family.

“Remember our promise. Ok?” He tells them once you three part

The smaller nods excitedly before standing in front of a waiting Lilia

And thus, he casts the spell. The spell replaces everyone’s memories with what should’ve happened without the child

And they start to progress again…

Azul wakes up, flinching

He doesn’t know how but he woke up from this…strange dream.

Did…did he really only focus on work?

He thinks back to the past few months and his face retorts in horror of the realization

He has. He needs to make it up to his family before it’s too late.

Azul rushes out of his study to the bedroom to see you asleep with puffy eyes

He leaps on the bed, shaking you in near tears

“H-huh? Azul…? What is it? Do you need something—“

He cuts you off with a hug that pins you back to the bed

“Azzy?! Wha-what’s wrong?!”

“Please forgive me. I’ve been a terrible husband and father recently. Focusing o-only on work, how silly of me to lose sight of what I truly love.” His arms tighten around you

“Azul…can’t breathe…”

Azul quickly pulls off of and sits up anxiously. Waiting for you to say you don’t forgive him or divorce him but what comes next is nothing but a soft kiss to his lips.

“I’m just happy that you finally realized it. I was so scared I lost you. But just to note, I’ll kick your ass if you do this again.” You whisper in his ear as you hug him tightly

“I’ll take that anytime.” He then sneaks under the blanket with you and held you throughout the night, whispering to you that he would never leave you again.

In the morning, he asks the twins to take over for him today. They happily agreed, cheering over the phone. Seems like they noticed his change in behavior too.

He chuckles to himself before he feels your presence next to him, rubbing your head into his shoulder.

“It’s rare you cook.”

“I plan on doing this more. Haven’t done this for you two in a long time.”

You laugh and kiss him before you both hear small footsteps in the hallway

“[Nickname], I have brushed m’ teeth by myself!” They stand proud before their shock is evident on their face at Azul’s presence

“Hi little guppy,” You pat them on their head as they look at Azul with hesitation “Good job on brushing your teeth all on your own! Papa is off work today so he can spend time with us. Wanna say hi?”

You look at him and his expression is bitter at how he left you two alone. He catches your glance and sees how you just tell him to try.

He walks towards his kid as you watch the stovetop.

Kneeling down, he held the smaller hands in his.

“I…I haven’t been a good father for you my dear fry. I’m so sorry for that. To pay attention to my work more than my own family was a huge mistake. I wish to make it up to you in any way no matter how long it takes. I’ll look at your drawings, play with your toys, cook your favorite thing. I love you so much. I am so, so sorry.” He looks down sadly as he tells him

“Nuh-uh! You’re my daddy. You are my papa! You said sorry and you wanna color with me! I like that. Jadey and Flo took care of me but you’re my favorite! I love you too!” The child grins brightly at him and Azul wells up in tears again, hugging the small child’s frame tightly.

And a whisper came from them

“You kept our promise. I’m happy.” And they rush off to the table once you call for them to wash their hands and eat.

The whispered phrase nudges at him

‘Was it…truly a dream or did we both experience that…?”

My dumbass kept thinking about how this sounds like The Christmas Carol wayyy too much. Anyways best Christmas movie 10/10, fight me. @demon-lover-669 thank you for the prompt. That was delicious.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto x yuu #azul ashengrotto x mc #Azul ashengrotto x male reader #Azul ashengrotto x female reader #Azul ashengrotto x gn reader #angst #hurt/comfort #happy ending #minniemoots #mindlessclow #x reader #gn reader #twisted wonderland x female reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader

[yunoclips]

Sub!Jaehyun HC's

Jaehyun is a little complex. While he enjoys being a submissive person he likes to challenge you.

He has this image of masculinity in his mind so he tries to keep some parts of it in the bed room. He loves when he's talked down into his submission. Rather than just easily just complying.

He likes to be degraded. Call him filthy names. Call him a loser, a freak, a weirdo, a perv. He loves it.

Enjoys when you ignore him. Use your phone while he's fucking into you and he gets really frustrated. Now he's on a mission to get you to pay attention and of course it doesn't work but he ends up making himself cum super hard.

Likes to be choked hard to the point he's gasping for air.

When he tops he likes to be slapped around. Loves when you put him in his place.

When you ride him he likes feeling absolutely exposed. Strip him completely naked and leave most of your clothes on.

He doesn't like to be pegged that much. He tried once, you gave it to him fast and hard , so hard that clear liquid started squirting out of him. He felt embarrassed after , from that day on he just never enjoyed it that much.

Wants you to mark his body. When he tops he wants nail marks running down his back. He wants his soft cheeks to be turned red from all the slapping. Dark red hickeys with touches of yellow from bruising lining his neck. He truly does love it rough

When he's stressed he wants you to give him head till he passes out. It clears his mind.

Lights must be completely off. A couple of candles lit as well. He's pretty high maintenance.

He's dabbled into exhibition but he isn't a big fan. You two were in a dressing room and one thing led to another. You were riding him on one of the benches inside and a worker just so happened to knock on the door due to the noise. He got completely turned off and was on the verge of a mini panic attack. Walking out of the dressing room was a nightmare.

His relationship is really grounded by trust. He wants to be able to tell you everything he yearns for and in return you tell him the same.

He has a thing with feet.

Has a really good Neo soul / R&B playlist that he uses every time.

His moans start off really low. Almost like a deep husky growl. When he gets close though , it switches from silent choking to high pitched crying.

Enjoys having sex while being high. It makes him feel light weight.

Really likes when you smoke while on top and shotgun into his mouth.

When he's in headspace he needs a lot of reassurance.

He comes really hard when you sit him in front of a mirror and jerk him off while playing with his nipples. He thinks he has a great body and an even better face so watching it turns him on.

Likes to be held down with restraints.

His safe word is just a simple : red.

When everything is over you need to cuddle with him for a while. Just so he can be assured that nothing you said during the act was true.

One time after a really intense scene , he went non verbal and you didn't notice. So you got up and went to the bathroom to quickly grab a cloth but when you came back he had fell into subdrop. He was curled in a ball , shaking and crying. It took you 10 minutes to coax him out of it. You felt horrible.

Jerks off quiet often. Either using a fleshlight or his hand.

He doesn't like using a lot of lube. The friction feels really good for him.

Prefers to listen to NSFW audios rather than actually watching porn.

When he's feeling extra lazy he pulls out a small bullet vibrator and places it on his tip. He cums in seconds.

When he's in public he gets a thrill out of acting like he runs things between the two of you. Nobody knows that when its just you two between 4 walls, he's on his knees shaking and crying like a little bitch begging for you to fuck his brains out.

#dom!reader #nct 127 smut #nct smut #sub!idol #sub!kpop #sub!nct #kpop smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun fic #sub!jaehyun

[moonlight-prose]

HURT

➝ 05. MIDNIGHT DOVE

a/n: i never thought it would take a year to finally work up the courage to finish this. i swear it's been marinating in my mind for months. life got in the way as it always does, and well shit happens, but i am gradually attempting to return to this world. if you're new here, welcome. if you're someone who has been here since the beginning, then thank you for sticking my horrible productivity out. i swear i won't disappear again. hopefully.

dedicated to: @themarcusmoreno for being an absolute badass fighter as of late. i hope you know how proud i am of you babes and how much i adore you. a special thanks to @sunflowersteves who has been a MASSIVE supporter of this story. i love you babes! and to @soulores who has listened to me ramble about this fic for hours in the hopes inspo would strike again. te amo te amo te amo!!!

summary: joel never made opening himself up to the prospect of love easy, but when it came to you...it felt like taking a breath of fresh air for the first time in years.

word count: 14k+ (i'm fucking insane)

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, cussing, fluff, joel attempting to be romantic, ptsd, grief, deep talks (joel opens up), joel finally telling the truth, p in v sex, choking kind of, roughness, biting lots of biting (both kinds hahaha), tad bit of violence, the dangers of falling in love.

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It was easy to forget how damaged you were in the midst of his affection. An effortless act to allow yourself a chance to heal as you gave yourself over to him. For brief moments, you weren’t the person who had gone through years of pain, suffered through grief so potent you could taste it. You were the person who could sink into his hold, lose yourself in his touch, and simply exist.

With Joel there was no pain, no reminders of what you didn’t have—what you could never get back—because he took all that away. He gave you the one thing you didn’t know you were searching for. Yourself. In whispered words beneath the midnight sky, you found the reflection you’d been so afraid to look at. You saw the person who had been torn apart by the brutality of this world, by the prospect of death you could no longer run from.

He pieced you back together with his hands, attempting to rid you of all those cracks and crevices where pain seeped out from.

And in doing so, he saved you.

“You used to be a contractor right?” you asked, trying not to huff and puff as you trailed after him through the woods.

Briefly you thought you caught the sight of tall buildings in the distance, but played it off as the sun messing with your eyes again. A few days ago the truck broke down, ruining the quick pace of travel you had gotten used to. Which left you both with one option. Walking until your feet were numb and bloody. You hadn’t missed the energy this took, suddenly yearning for trains and planes—anyway to get to Boston as quickly as possible.

Except you didn’t hate it entirely. The bonus was being able to spend more time with him in secluded areas. You liked studying him by firelight, talking with him underneath the stars. Joel was the one who kept you going in spite of the agonizing effort this took. Thankfully the moments you did run into any infected were brief and quick—simply another crack in the bubble you’d built around yourselves.

Something had shifted between the two of you. Changed the tides of your futures and gave you insight into what might be possible once you got to Boston. You saw hints of a life that you might not have seen before. A future with him. You only hoped that he was seeing the same picture you were.

“Mhm,” he hummed, pausing to let you catch up, his hand reaching for yours.

“Impressive,” you said with a smile, pressing your chin on his shoulder as he leaned against a tree. Giving the both of you a small breather before you started up again.

“It paid the bills.”

“Well yeah. But it’s also a cool job. Getting to build things.”

He grinned, his eyes tracing the shapes and contours of your face. “I guess it was.”

“What made you want to be a contractor?” You caught the way he paused at your question, his eyes unable to meet yours for a brief moment. Joel thought he was able to hide his pain so well, behind an impenetrable mask he never removed. But you saw it.

You were the only one who split it down the middle; revealing the man beneath for your eyes to see.

“Uh,” he mumbled. “It was good work. Kept me stable.”

“Joel? Did I say something?”

He shook his head. “We should keep going,” he said, pressing a light kiss to your temple, his lips lingering a bit longer than usual.

Any other person would play that off as Joel being Joel. Yet you felt the tremor in his chest when he took in a breath. You saw the way he placed another brick in his never-ending wall. One that he didn’t want you to break. Frowning slightly, you walked beside him, glancing to see if he would finally revert back to the man from moments ago, but he was lost to the ravages of his mind.

You knew it would take awhile for him to come back to you. So, you waited. You lost yourself in your own thoughts, watching the birds fly through the trees, the sun peeking through the branches and bathing you in warmth. Thankfully the cold was starting to fade with each passing day. Giving way to the weather you liked most. You wanted to ask Joel where you were—which state you crossed into—but he was still gone.

Reliving the moment he hadn’t told you about yet.

You stopped when the forest gave way to a road and finally caught sight of what was in the distance. Only to realize…the sun hadn’t been playing tricks on you.

Skyscrapers stood tall against the sky, the cityscape so famous and iconic you could pick it out from memory. It was ruined from the past, some buildings had fallen from the decay, but you felt your heart flutter nonetheless. New York City. You’d been traveling through the state this whole time and never knew. Your younger self ached in the back of your mind; the one place you had been striving to get to, now arriving too late.

Yet still…you were there. Staring at what could have been your future once upon a time.

“We’re in New York,” you said, your voice tinged in disbelief. 

Joel seemed to have been brought back by your stunned reaction, his lips pulling up into a small smirk. “Thought you would have liked to take this way.”

You whirled around to face him, your eyes wide with surprise. “But what about infected? Won’t they be—”

“They bombed most of the city when the infection hit. Took out the worst parts first.” He pointed to the direction of where you assumed the Empire State building once stood. “No one has been here for nearly a decade. They tried to have a QZ on the outskirts at one point I think.”

“And how did that go?” Although you already knew the answer. Simply another repeat of every major city in this country.

He sighed. “They wound up bombing that too.”

“So we’re going around?” you asked, knowing that the only safe possibility was skirting the edges of the city. But a part of you hoped that for once you and Joel could pretend to be normal humans again.

People who at one point in their lives…might have taken a trip to New York City.

“Well…” His hesitation caught your attention. “We’re gonna go around as much as we can, but there’s somethin’ there that still survived all this. So if we’re careful. Then it should be alright.”

You felt the breath catch in your chest. A sliver of hope flickering warm and bright through your body. “And if it’s not…alright?”

“Then we handle it,” he replied, his hand shifting to cup your cheek, thumb running along your skin. “Like we always do.” Those words alone nearly made those three words slip free from your mouth. “What do you say Boston,” he murmured, his head dipping down—lips brushing along yours. “Wanna take a trip to New York with me?”

There were infected everywhere you went, never being able to escape them entirely. That alone weighed your answer towards it being positive. Still you were wary about what could happen. What could go wrong in the midst of your happiness? It seemed that life never changed when things were already awful. The worst only hit when you were finally at peace, content with what you had.

You should have said no, should have told him it wasn’t safe, but his brown eyes held a hopeful glint in them. A look that you recognized. For the first time, the both of you were finally starting to heal from the horrid effects of this life. It was a tragedy that would never be written down. A play not yet finished.

Which ultimately made the decision for you.

How did you want things to end? With a smile on your face, spending time with the man you loved? Or alone.

“Lead the way Texas,” you said softly, dropping your forehead to his chest, feeling him kiss your head softly before he pulled away.

The trip to get into the city would take a day or two, which meant that you had to set up camp for the night. At least until the sun rose enough to guide you. Venturing back into the forest with him, you felt the lightness in your heart spread down throughout your body. A sensation that you longed to hold onto.

You couldn’t recall the last time you’d been this happy; the feeling almost effortless amidst the pain and destruction of your past. It nearly overflowed, spilling out into the area around you filled with never ending darkness. Joel’s footsteps were heavy against the fallen leaves. As if he was no longer afraid to make noise. Now that the path was clear, his head focused on one direction, you by his side.

Things had shifted drastically since that night. Since you watched a piece of his walls crash to the ground. Giving you a chance to finally see the man he had once been. The Joel you had only met in fragments—memories you weren’t a part of.

A past that you’d never fully know.

“This is as good a place as any,” he said, dropping the bag off his shoulders and onto the ground beside a tree.

“Should I gather wood?” you asked, following his movements—the routine burned into your mind.

He shook his head. “Not tonight. We’re too close to the city.”

“You don’t think people are insane enough to live there, do you?”

The silence he offered was enough of an answer. Even though you were both far enough away from any signs of life, it still wasn’t safe to assume you were entirely free. You could see Joel grappling with the decision to even go down there, but you knew which side would win the war in the end. One side told him to avoid the place altogether, to keep trekking on until you reached the QZ in Boston. But the other whispered something different.

It beckoned him closer, promising something sweet, a reprieve from the terrors of life that continued to plague both of you. Whatever still remained in that city was enough for him to choose the latter.

“I’ll keep first watch,” he murmured, settling with his back to a tree, rifle placed across his thighs.

“Joel.”

He shook his head. “You need to sleep.”

“So do you,” you replied, in the hopes that he’d relent to you as he had before.

The dark lines beneath his eyes grew with every passing day and you wondered what kept him from sleep. Was it nightmares? The prospect of death around every corner? They were things that were enough to send terror running sharply down your spine, but as long as you’d known Joel he seemed to simply take those things in stride. Refusing to give life the satisfaction of watching him crumble beneath the strain.

Yet now he looked half dead; tired of fighting an infinite battle of fear.

“Come here,” you said softly, hand gripping onto his.

“Darlin’—”

“If you don’t sleep then, so help me Joel I will stay up with you.”

The threat held enough truth in it to spur him into action. You would stay up with him until dawn crested over the city, until you could no longer keep your eyes open. Joel had stamina you didn’t possess. Not anymore. So, he allowed you to guide him forward, his head resting on his pack, rifle placed between your bodies. A safety measure in case the night turned for the worst.

“Shut your eyes,” you murmured, seeing the tension in his body melt away the second your hand pressed to his chest.

He huffed—ever the stubborn man who saved your life—but relented without a fight, his eyes fluttering shut quickly followed by a long exhale. The stars were brighter than you’d seen them; the light pollution of the city, no longer a problem the sky had to combat. So, you shifted, rested your head on his shoulder and watched the stars twinkle in a night sky free from the shackles of humanity.

“You’re supposed to sleep too,” he grumbled, his hand coming up to cover yours, thumb running along your wrist.

“I am.” You smiled at his audible snort.

Silence enveloped the two of you, but it never felt off putting in his presence. In fact you began to welcome it, because with Joel there was always more than just words. His thumb continued to go across your skin, creating a soothing rhythm that lulled you into a docile state. If you shut your eyes and focused on the beat of his heart—the rise and fall of his chest with each breath—you might be able to fall asleep. Except your mind still ran, still on high alert in case of something going wrong.

“Hey,” he mumbled, his head turning slightly until his nose brushed against yours.

“Hm?” You felt your heart skip at the sight of his eyes opening again, the deep brown hue pulling you in.

“What’s goin’ on in there?” he whispered. Joel didn’t need to go into specifics to know what he meant by that. You seemed to pick it up just by the inflection of his words—the tone he used when he spoke. This was no different.

You sighed, wishing more than anything that you could strip your shoulders of the weight they carried. “Nothing. I’m just…it’s nothing.”

“It ain’t nothin’.”

“I’m just…scared,” you said, finally showing a sliver of the truth. He hummed, attempting to show that he understood where you were coming from. “What happens when we get to Boston?”

Because that’s where that gnawing feeling stemmed from. It wasn’t your fear of death, or the terror you felt whenever you thought of Joel dying. No, you were scared of what the future held—what came when this trip finally came to an end. You didn’t want to let him go after everything you’d endured together. For the first time you felt like you found the one thing anyone could hope for in life. A partnership.

He sighed. “We keep going.”

“Together?” There you were laying your hope in front of him, wanting him to give you the answer you longed for.

“Yes,” he replied, watching a smile cross your face—his heart beating a bit faster at the sight. It lit him up on the inside. As if someone injected him with a heaping dose of pure sunlight, claiming it would fix all his broken pieces. Save him from hell.

For a moment you simply watched him, seeing an array of emotions flicker through his eyes. You wanted the night to remain endless. For you and Joel to stay there until the stars burned out above—a safe place with no responsibilities. No fear of death. But you knew eventually you would have to get up and follow him into the city. Boston remained right at the very tips of your fingers, yet getting there felt like a million miles away.

“Joel?” you breathed, bringing him out of his mind and back to the present day.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me something.” You clutched his hand in yours, enjoying the warmth that emanated from his skin. “Anything.”

He turned away, looking up at the sky as he processed your words. And you waited patiently. You found that you’d wait for him no matter how long it took, because it was him and to you…he was everything. He was worth fighting for, worth staying put for. He let out a shaky breath, his grip tightening on your palm until pain sparked in your wrist. You didn’t dare pull away though, too captured by the vulnerability that began to show on his face.

For the first time, he was the glass you couldn’t break.

“I had a daughter,” he said softly, still watching how the stars flickered above rather than the way your face went slack with shock. “Sarah.”

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes falling to the broken watch on his wrist as tears began to fall from your eyes. That night when you asked about it—watched him close up right before your very eyes—suddenly made sense. Why he never took it off, why it was the most precious thing to him.

It was from her.

“She was…well she is the best damn thing in my life.” He shut his eyes, his eyes stinging with the tears that couldn’t fall. You didn’t dare interrupt him. Joel was baring the part he’d hidden long ago—offering it to you in the hopes that you’d take care of it. “Had the prettiest smile and the best—” He took in a breath. “The best fuckin’ laugh you’d ever heard. Made everyone else laugh.”

You smiled, feeling your tears fall onto his shirt. “She sounds amazing.”

“She is,” he rasped, his hand pulling yours up higher on his chest until you could feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingers. “On the night of the outbreak. We were tryin’ to get out. But something…” His voice broke, eyes squeezing even tighter. “I couldn’t—and she—”

“Oh Joel,” you whispered, your eyes falling shut as his pain seeped into your heart. It made your whole body scream out and for a moment you wondered how his heart never stopped beating. How had he survived such anguish? How was he still here?

You bit back the sob that threatened to spill free and buried your face into his shoulder, clutching onto his hand to show that you were here. That he could give you this pain to hold and you’d bear it for him for however long he needed. His face turned, a shaky breath leaving his lips as he let the words hang in the air. What more needed to be said? When he had just ripped down the last of his walls.

“I’m so sorry.” The words were a breath on his cheek and you knew they wouldn’t take away any amount of grief. You knew they were simply a band-aid to the gaping wound that would never heal.

He didn’t reply; you didn’t expect him to. So you allowed the silence to fill the air between you, covering you like a comforting blanket. Hiding you from the world until the sun came up. Joel pulled you closer until you practically lay atop his chest, the steady thud of his broken heart echoing beneath your ear. The world had taken so much from him—turned him hopeless—you just never knew the extent of it.

Staring into the darkness of the trees you heard him begin to snore softly, his body now lax beneath you. Except you didn’t move. You remained in the same spot, watching as the world turned a bit darker. The hope seeped out of your body bit by bit now that you understood how much Joel carried—how much he endured.

“I love you,” you breathed, pressing a kiss over his heart, finally shutting your eyes and giving into the soft embrace of sleep.

You woke up to find him gone, his jacket placed strategically over your body to keep you protected from the early morning cold. What you wouldn’t give for a fire to combat the chill that began to seep into your skin. Sitting up slowly, you attempted to catch sight of him through the trees—hoping that he had wandered a bit. But you were left alone with just your pack and his extra gun.

Scenarios began to run through your mind, panic settling in your veins, but you fought against it. You’d been here before. Alone while Joel went off to do who knows what. You knew he would come back—that was a given—but you couldn’t stop the worry from eating at you.

You watched your breath collect in the air as you moved, gathering pieces of wood and rocks to build a fire for a short amount of time. If you were moving today it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to warm up and gain some strength through food. If Joel wasn’t back within the hour you would go out hunting. He’d been generous enough to leave you with a few bullets still in the chamber of his gun.

Which meant he had full intentions of coming back.

The fire sparked quicker than you expected, catching on the brush you packed around the wood and sending heat up towards your face. You couldn’t burn it for long, in case people caught sight of the smoke. Which meant you had to relish in the heat for as long as possible—the stiffness in your body dissipating the longer you sat there.

You watched the orange glow flicker across the wood, consuming it entirely and found you couldn’t tear your eyes away. The sight was familiar—as if you could feel it against your skin with every passing day. Life burned through you with swift brutality and for that mere moment you wondered if it would hurt if you fully sunk into it. Allowed it to destroy you as the flame did the wood that now sat cracked into two pieces—the charred bark falling onto the ground.

A rustling echoed behind you, making you reach for the gun, but the sight of Joel’s graying hair peeking through the woods sent relief flooding through your body. He carried a rabbit in one hand, clutching onto the rifle with the other, and you felt yourself relax just a bit more. Body sinking back into the spot you’d made, legs crossed and hands hovering over the flames.

“Breakfast?” he asked, crouching beside you.

“Don’t mind if I do.” You grinned, pressing your chin against his shoulder briefly, soaking up the warmth of his body.

You couldn’t see his face, but you could feel the smile being pressed against your temple. His lips a soft brush across your skin. If time was kind, you’d be able to stay there. Sitting in the comfort of his presence—the worry that plagued you now pushed to the very back of your mind. It was rare to feel this okay in the comfort of someone else, but Joel made it easy. You wanted to thank him for simply being here, but the words were stuck in your head. Unable to be released.

“How long until we go?” you asked, watching as he cooked the animal over the flames, your stomach clenching painfully.

“Soon as we’re done here.”

The trip into the city wasn’t by any means safe. In fact you were certain it was the most dangerous thing you would attempt in your journey to the Boston QZ. For so long you’d played it safe, but Joel had plans and you would follow his lead wherever he went.

Perhaps it was ridiculous to say you loved him now. In a world where the small hints of anything good were smothered before they could bloom into something more. Except you couldn’t deny what your heart knew was true—what it had been holding onto for months. You loved him. Possibly more than you could ever love someone, and that’s what scared you. Sent a sick feeling into your stomach, your heart twisting violently in your chest at the thought.

Traveling through the city was lethal—a death sentence—but you soon realized it wasn’t the most dangerous thing you could do.

Falling in love in a world intent on destruction was the true risk. Because whether you liked it or not, your entire life could come crashing down in an instant if you lost the man beside you.

Joel was your oxygen. The sole reason you were still alive. You couldn’t lose him.

You both ate in silence, an act that had become sacred to you as time went on. Just a small piece of normalcy that remained—something to remember your old lives by. While you couldn’t necessarily sit at a table and savor the meal. Both of you were content with this. A small amount of peace before chaos ensued once more.

The city called to you—beckoned you closer—and you had to be careful not to give in. There was an unspoken rule in all the traveling you’d had with one another. Joel was the leader in this situation and you were to follow what he said; after all he was simply trying to keep the both of you alive. So you did just that. You waited for him to finish eating and explain exactly how this was going to go down.

“You know…” You picked at the grass beneath you. “I’ve been thinking about what comes next.”

His eyes raised to meet your gaze—the once hardened stare now softened to something you now knew to be familiar. A look he only carried when he was around you. You felt something tug at your chest, warm and inviting.

“I want a home,” you said softly, twirling a dandelion between your fingers. “If that’s a possibility.”

The corners of his lips pulled upwards and you nearly missed the sight. But once you caught it…you couldn’t look away. Joel smiling was a rarity—this you knew to be a hard fact—but when he did the world lit up around him. His smile felt safe. As if he kept every ounce of love given to him in that single look.

“Could be a possibility,” he replied, shifting to where his arm was behind you—his weight leaning on it. “Got a place in mind?”

Heat bloomed beneath your cheeks, small petals of the dandelion flying off. “Nothing too fancy. Big enough for us and…well…it has to be just right.”

Perhaps your mind was playing a trick on you, creating fantastical sights that felt too good to be true, but Joel's smile deepened. A soft light entered his eyes for a brief moment, effectively stealing the breath right from your lungs. He was so beautiful when he smiled. As if he was gifted with it from the gods themselves—his own secret power at the end of the day.

"A house huh."

You nodded, still stunned in place as his smile remained intact. "I miss having a home."

Five words. That's all it took for light to be extinguished like a flame being put out. Sorrow seeped back into his face, his smile faltered, and you felt the world shift beneath your feet. Whatever you said triggered something in his mind. It dragged the memory to the front and forced him to watch with no escape. You know...because you'd been in his place before; you had been a victim to the horror of your own life, privy to the movie that never had an end.

The difference was with Joel you could do nothing but watch.

There was no pulling him out of it, no distracting him, because the memory had already started. So you sat in silence, waiting for it to run its course. Until Joel returned back to you. His smile was gone, face grim once more, and grief stained his soul. But you'd take him any way he was. You'd take him damaged and ruined beyond repair, as he would with you.

"We should get moving soon," he said, voice lower than before, eyes glassy with tears that would never fall.

You let out a breath as your heart sank deeper in your chest. "I'll put out the fire."

He didn't question you or even try to stop you. He simply let you do what you thought was best. Gathering his jacket and gun, he helped you to your feet, the furrow between his brows now set back in place. For a moment...he looked younger than his actual age. A man from the past peeked out, but nothing stayed the same for long.

Nothing good ever stuck.

"Once we get to the edge of the city we'll be out in the open for anyone to see." He slung his pack over his shoulder, handing you a knife to stick in your pocket as an extra precaution for what was to come. "You know I only have one rule darlin'."

Now felt like the perfect time to make a joke—to bring back his smile—but the serious tone of his voice lingered in the air. A reminder that you may be able to take care of yourself on your own, but traveling with Joel now meant you had his life to worry about too.

That alone was something you couldn't risk.

"Follow your lead."

He nodded. "We should be alright, but just in case stick close."

"I will." The idea that you'd stray far from him was ridiculous and he knew it, but the words had to be said. For his own peace of mind.

Somewhere in the middle of the trees there remained an old hiking path. A memoriam of the years that came before, and yet you couldn't picture tourists taking this road. Not even their footprints would survive twenty years of nature. No, this small but distinct path was carved by people traveling towards Boston. You liked to imagine that they made it eventually; that their lives went on in the QZ without issue. But reality always held a harsher reflection than you expected.

Twigs snapped beneath your boots as you trailed beside Joel, eyes set on what remained of the city skyline. Proof that humanity once lived on this planet.

"They'll be deeper inside the city lines," Joel said, dragging your attention away from the ruin. "It's likely there ain't been people for years. But we can’t be sure."

"No reason for activity then?"

He sighed, squinting his eyes against the blaring sunlight. "I'm not sayin' there'll be less. But we might not encounter them much if we’re lucky."

A small amount of relief spread through your chest, pushing against the constant fear that ate at your heart. Devouring it as if you were the meal it had been waiting for. A delicacy of the human body.

"Better than nothing."

He made a noise of agreement, taking the lead and heading deeper into the woods. Eventually they would become sparse, giving the both of you less coverage, until they disappeared altogether. Two decades was plenty of time for nature to reclaim parts of the city, but the cement and stone still remained. A permanent fixture of what used to be in front of you.

The city that used to never sleep, now forced to rest forever.

In the distance you swore you could hear the now familiar screech that haunted your dreams. But it was too far out for you to make out. So you followed Joel, the sun beating down on both of you even through the trees. Sweat stuck to the back of your neck, your fingers slippery on the trigger of your gun. And you both walked in silence—focused on your surroundings. Too anxious to even allow yourselves to whisper.

Yet with Joel it never felt like you were losing time.

How could you? When he was giving back what you lost.

No one else would do this. No one would bother to make sure that you got a chance to visit the city you dreamed about, the place where your future was supposed to be. But he would.

Joel would have given you the sun if you asked him to—if only to see you smile.

Your words from last night continued to rise to the surface, placing themselves on the tip of your tongue, and begging you to open your mouth. Yet as much as you wanted to stand atop the tallest building in the city and shout it from the top of your lungs, you knew you couldn't.

Those words remained hidden in your chest like a wound that could never truly heal. A gaping hole that forced you to bleed out each time you acknowledged its presence.

The sad part was that Joel wasn't the one to rip it open. He was simply someone who managed to stir it awake. He brought it to life with just one look. You started bleeding years ago with loss after loss, until eventually...you stopped trying to close it up with cheap booze and an even cheaper version of what you ached for.

What you needed to sustain you.

"You never told me," Joel said abruptly, shutting down those thoughts within seconds. "About your life."

You smiled despite the effort and lack of breath. "There's not much to tell."

"I doubt that darlin'." He fell into step with you, his hand brushing across yours gently, but even you knew holding hands wasn't a luxury you could afford right now. Not when you'd have to run at a moment's notice. "What was college like?"

Scoffing, you adjusted the strap of your pack. "Parties, hangovers, and lots of coffee."

"Sounds 'bout right."

"Why Joel Miller. Don't tell me you went to college."

He leaned into you, his shoulder hitting yours with enough force to throw you slightly off course. "I didn't. My brother Tommy did. Well...he enrolled."

"Ah yes. The infamous Miller," you joked, grabbing onto his arm to steady yourself.

He snorted, wrapping it around your waist instead. "I wouldn't call him that."

"Then tell me about him."

His eyes met yours, grief still pressing against the light that once was there, but you could see something else linger below. A sense of joy that only came when talking about his younger sibling. A relief that he had family still alive, still around for him to worry about. You knew the fear remained that one day...he might not have that person to worry about, that the world would remain just as cruel as before.

That thought hit you harder than you would have liked—the face of your own brother flashing in your mind. You couldn't save him. Shit, you barely even knew if he was still alive or dead. And that in itself was a different type of grief; a horror you wouldn't wish on anyone.

Least of all Joel.

"He was in the army."

A fallen tree came into view, blocking the path. Joel climbed over it first, grunting as he jumped down, his feet slamming hard when he landed. He took your hand as you went next, helping you go softer than him, checking with a glance to make sure you hadn't snagged yourself on the split wood.

You recall your own brother enlisting, although your mother used to claim you were too young to remember the day he left. But you could make out the hazy images of tear filled goodbyes and hugs that lasted longer than normal. He joined to find purpose. You understood that now.

"Nearly gave our parents a heart attack when he came home with the news." Joel huffed, his hand still clasped tightly around yours. "But Tommy was eighteen. And damn stubborn."

You tried to picture the other Miller as you did when Joel first mentioned him, yet still came up blank. They must look alike. Maybe the same nose, or jaw. No matter how hard you tried though, you could see nothing but a faceless man—a blank slate to the one Joel spoke of so fondly.

"He's younger than you?"

Joel nodded. "By a few years."

The thought of Joel trying to be a good role model for his brother made you smile. You wondered if they ever got into trouble together, if there were stories he might tell you one day when you finally found a safe place to live.

"So...he was the troublemaker of the family."

His gaze slid over to you, eyebrow arching slightly in faux surprise. "I wouldn't say that."

You grinned. “Let me guess…” Joel’s hand tightened around yours. “You were the responsible brother.”

“I had to be.”

“He sounds fun. Maybe I should have met him first.” Glancing to your side, you didn’t see as his face darkened. A look of something wild crossed his face, the painful grip on your hand bringing you back as he yanked you forward. “Joel—”

Unexpected. That is what you continued to feel each time Joel kissed you. Unexpected in his action, unexpected in the feelings he buried beneath the rubble of his heart. You felt yourself stumble into his chest, his lips sliding against your roughly, as he gave into that wild unknown sensation.

A hunger that consumed him quickly. Larger than anything he’d known before.

He exhaled, pulling away with reluctance, and you nearly moved forward to take back that fleeting euphoria. His thumb and forefinger pinching your chin lightly kept you in place. Until you opened your eyes—catching his gaze. Want burned in his iris—turning the deep brown a shade of black—but something darker peeked out, a possessive glint. A promise that you were his.

“Trust me darlin’,” he murmured, lips pulling up into a small grin. Your stomach fluttered rapidly at the sight of his eyes sliding down to your lips—his tongue running along his bottom lip. You wanted it in your mouth. “You’ve got the better brother.”

That remained clear the second you met him. But the tease still lingered in the air. A hint of irritation plucked at Joel’s heart as he thought about you and Tommy instead. If there’s one thing he knew it was this: Tommy would make you laugh as often as possible. He wouldn’t quit until he saw joy overtake the grief on your face. But something told him you needed more than humor.

Even as you looked at him like that—eyes soft and hazy with need—he still felt the innate need to prove himself. To show that he was it for you; that no matter what happened next, Joel was going to be yours.

His face darkened and you longed to peel away the layers of murkiness that hid his true feelings.

But that was the thing about Joel. He’d never show you outright what he kept beneath the surface—not unless he was telling you himself.

His hand took yours again, a small kiss pressed to your temple as he started walking. Towards a future so tangible you could almost feel it between your fingertips. How it ebbed and flowed despite the endless mountain ridges you were yet to traverse.

There was no telling where it dropped off. Where this future finally settled, but regardless of what happened, you’d remain. You would choose Joel over and over again, even if this path led to your death. As long as he was safe—as long as he survived. To you Joel was the only thing you could save—having given up on yourself years ago.

You were two broken souls, but given the chance, you’d piece him back together.

You could see that the path veered back towards the forest, probably to some old forgotten campgrounds. A part of you nearly asked him to head that way, but you stopped before you started. The realization dawned on you quicker than you would have liked. How many people never made it home? How many lost parts of humanity still remained in a place meant solely for joy?

A cold unsettling feeling burrowed its way into your stomach, nausea rising quickly to the surface. Everywhere you looked, death stared back with an empty gaze.

A promise already embedded too deep to remove.

This is how it was always meant to go. This is where it would always lead to.

Joel couldn’t see the terror stricken expression across your face. You were in too deep to ask him for a rescue anyways. So you simply remained. Entrenched in the thick darkness. Yet your feet still moved, your body still complied. He led you closer and closer to the outskirts of the city. And where you expected fear to arise, you found nothing but numbness.

An echo of pain that called out to you. How could you fear what you already knew? The infected were no longer the embodiment of your worst horror come to life.

No, that title now belonged to the man holding your hand so gently in his. Squeezing every few minutes in an act of unconscious reassurance. His fate, his life, it all twisted together until you could barely catch your breath.

He turned to glance at you over his shoulder, his lips curving into a soft smile, the lines around his eyes deeper than before. You nearly gasped as you were yanked out of the darkness, warm air brushing across your face. For those few seconds you felt the sunlight against your face. The worries melted away and this is what you were left with.

Pure broken love.

“Tired?” he asked, oblivious to the way you were drowning.

You grinned, moving closer. “Not really.”

“We got a few more hours.”

Perfect.

You didn’t say it aloud, but you could see the sentiment was reflected back in his eyes. He wanted this as much as you. Where the world only existed in time spent alone. Where nothing could harm you here in your infinite haven with him.

Returning his smile, you squeezed his hand softly, doing what you could to burn the feel of his calloused skin into your mind. Whether it took a few hours or a few days, you didn’t mind. As long as it was with him.

Silence.

That’s all you heard throughout a city once plagued by noise. Where thousands of people used to live—creating the hustle and bustle of the city that used to never rest, now an echoey hollowness remained. At last…the city was asleep. And you hated it.

Life should spill out of every crack and crevice of this place, but there was nothing. You felt as if you should grieve for what once was, but no emotions rose to the surface. Instead you were faced with a bottomless pit of something that once existed.

Joel’s hand was replaced with your weapons, his gun clutched tightly in his own grip. You remained on the outskirts, but that didn’t mean you were safe. If anything you were in more danger this out in the open. There should have been something by now. Yet it seemed that fate had a different idea altogether.

In a way, you were beyond thankful, but uncertainty still remained. A reminder that this would only last for so long. Fate offered what it could, and you took without a second thought. There would never be another chance like this—never another moment of peace.

Sweat stuck to the back of your neck as you walked, eyes scanning the area like clockwork. Joel was a few paces ahead, his body tense, finger on the trigger in case of the worst. You hoped it would never come. Neither of you spoke for fear that whatever remained in the abandoned buildings could hear you. The air was sticky with heat and you felt your body begin to dry out the longer the both of you traveled.

“We can rest up ahead,” he called over his shoulder as if your thoughts were projected to him.

“Do you know where we’re going?”

It’s not that you didn’t trust him—you did—but wandering in the city felt like a risk you shouldn’t be taking more than a trip of enjoyment.

“I’ve got an idea.”

You scoffed. “That’s helpful.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t trust me now Boston,” he drawled with a halfway grin across his face.

“It’s kind of late for that…Texas.”

“No shit.”

You did your best to hold back the laugh that bubbled to the surface, but there was no use. You couldn’t stop it now. Joel looked surprised for a split second, his lips parting into a wide smile, until he began to laugh with you. Deep and rough and perfectly Joel.

This. This is what you ached for most. Joy—no matter how small—in a time where the concept no longer existed. If you could bring that to each other even as you fought to survive then you’d be okay.

In the near distance you could see it, a small section of benches surrounded by nothing but overgrown bushes, flower patches, and trees that would have never been allowed to grow that tall. A sense of elation filled your chest at the sight of a park. So out in the open, so mundane in a city quickly being overtaken by nature. Ivy trailed up the buildings as if that alone kept the ruins together, but you’d never seen something so beautiful.

“I got some food left over,” he muttered, rummaging in his pack as you took a seat on a bench covered by vines. “Nothin’ much, but it’ll work till we dig up somethin’ else.”

You took it gratefully, taking in the area with wonder as you caught every small piece that might show a hint of the past. Shop signs were broken off, rubble scattered through the streets, and abandoned cars were lined up like barriers to the inside of buildings. Perhaps people had come through here before, trapping the infected inside as they made their way through the city quickly.

“Do you remember what it was like?”

He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, catching sight of the coffee shop sign you were fixated on—half of it gone and broken on the asphalt. Everything here had been destroyed over the years. Taken, ripped a part, and left to rot. Yet the cracks in the streets where plants grew told Joel that life still found a way to flourish. Even as darkness and cruelty became the figurehead of humanity.

“Loud,” he said, biting into the dusty granola bar.

You smiled, shifting to make room for him as he joined you on the bench. “So I’ve heard. The city that never sleeps. I guess it was named that for a reason.”

“People were crammed into every corner.” He pointed up to a building in the distance. Surprisingly it hadn’t collapsed yet. “I stayed there. Fourth floor.”

“Hotel?”

He nodded. “Expensive as shit.”

“That tracks.”

“But I had fun.” He grinned, eyes distant as if replaying moments of his past, reliving what it was like to be in this city at the height of its prime. “Tommy wanted to move here. After the army.”

“Did you…want to go with him?”

Joel huffed, eyes falling to his hands as he broke apart the granola bar—anxiety bleeding off his body and seeping into yours. “No. That life was his. Not mine.”

Counting in your head, you tried to calculate at what age Joel might have been when Tommy came home. What might have happened in his life. Until the conversation from earlier came back to you like a fist to your face. Sarah. You tried to picture him as a young dad, raising a little girl, and suddenly the gap between your years and his felt like a chasm you shouldn’t cross.

A split in the ground so deep you could see right down to the center of the Earth.

“And to think,” you replied, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I could have met you here.”

His laugh was shadowed by pain—grief he’d never let you see in its entirety. “You wouldn’t have gone for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“What with you bein’ a fancy museum worker?” He turned, his nose brushing against yours. “Gettin’ you to look twice at me would have taken some effort.”

You smiled, stealing a kiss. “You’re wrong. I’d have asked you out in an instant if I saw you. Maybe…in a bar.” His laugh was soft, raspy as if he’d been shouting for hours. “Or a park.”

“Yeah?” You wanted to keep his smile. “How would it go?”

“Well…” Pulling back, you pressed a finger to your chin, eyebrows pulling together as you pretended to lose yourself in thought. “I’d begin the conversation, because you’re not much of a talker.” He pinched your side, drawing out a laugh.

“And you’d say?”

Forcing your face into a stoic expression, you grasped his shoulders. “Excuse me sir. Are you a fan of country music?”

He snorted, his body shaking as he broke between your palms. Laughing so hard he nearly dropped his granola bar on the floor. If you closed your eyes, you could imagine the sounds of the city in the background. The echo of what could have been reverberating to you through the years.

This would be it. The moment you knew you were head over heels for the man sitting beside you.

This is where you’d start to plan a future.

“And you’d say…of course, I’m from Texas darlin’.” You did your best to morph your voice into his, but couldn’t get through it without smiling.

Joel cupped your chin, tugging your lips close enough to feel them brush across his—your heart now beating an unsteady rhythm in your chest. “Of course.”

“And I’d say…that’s funny. I’m from Boston.” Sadness seeped into your heart when he looked at you like that—as if you were the only person to exist on this planet. His hope. His lifeline. “And the rest is history.”

He pressed his lips against yours, stealing a kiss soft enough to crack off another splinter of your heart. “I like that version of history.”

“Me too,” you breathed, biting down hard on your bottom lip to keep the sting of tears at bay.

You could feel the pain in your feet begin to shoot through your lower back. Traveling steadily with each step. From what you could tell, the sun was dipping into mid afternoon, still early in the day, but late enough to cause worry. Staying in the city past nightfall didn’t bode well for either of you. Yet somehow…you were traveling deeper into the maze of fallen buildings and broken roads.

“Joel—”

He stopped in the middle of the road, his back straight and shoulders tense. You braced yourself for the worst, hands grabbing tightly onto the weapon clutched to your chest. A small chirp of birds sounded in the distance, animals echoing their sentiments back to the broken world around them. Yet nothing sounded dangerous enough to cause worry.

“What is it?”

Glancing back at you, he threw you a cautionary smile, head tilting as if to say join me. 

So you followed his instruction. Stepping around the cracks in the street to stand close, facing him as he looked at something behind you.

“We’re here.”

Confusion lined your face, worry filtering through your chest. “Where’s…here?”

“Turn around.”

His hands grasped your shoulders, shifting you until you were staring at the building he was. And for a moment you nearly laughed; claimed it was a good joke walking you nowhere. Only for your eyes to catch sight of the cracked and broken steps before you. Weeds grew between what still remained and the front was blown to shit, but you’d recognize this building even with your eyes closed.

The final destination in the path of your old future.

“The Met?” you whispered, eyes wide in awe at the sight of such a grand building torn to bits.

He pressed his lips to your ear. “Thought you might want to see it in person this time.”

Those three words you uttered last night, barely spoken at all, suddenly felt too small to describe the depth of what you felt. You didn’t just love Joel. You would die for him. You’d take any pain he harbored and carry it as your own. And you’d do all this…because he’d do the exact same for you. Love felt too little in the grand scheme of things.

How could you simply love someone who would bring you the future and lay it at your feet?

“Is it safe?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, tinged by awe.

“Probably not.”

“So we could die?”

“There’s a good chance.”

You smiled, tangling his hand in yours. “I think it’s worth it.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed your palm softly. “I do too.”

Carefully he led you up the steps. A walk that felt surreal after years of dreaming this exact moment. You knew one day you’d get here. Whether that was with a degree and a resume in your hand, or holding the hand of a man who saved you. You didn’t care, because finally…there you stood.

Ivy crawled up the sides of the building, the doors were no longer attached, and you felt as if you were walking into a different universe. The entrance that you’d seen in brochures and pictures somehow looked prettier this way; slowly being captured by the hands of nature. As she shifted the land of humans to her point of view.

The almost crystalline marble shone differently in the direct sunlight. Glancing up you caught sight of the hole in the ceiling. This building must have been affected by the bombing.

“I remember this part,” he said suddenly, an awestruck expression painted across his face. He looked like a young man again, taking his first visit to this grand old museum.

“This is called The Great Hall. And it was Richard Morris Hunt that was the architect on the project. One hundred years ago. Well give or take a few years.”

A stream of words left your mouth without a single thought. Explanations of the different parts that once existed, the historical references for how they were built. And for a moment you felt nineteen again. Fresh out of an art history class; the knowledge once again at the forefront of your mind.

All the while Joel watched with a glint in his eyes, silent to what you had to say, yet focused entirely on you. The museum wasn’t important to him. Hell he barely gave a shit about what used to be here. But something changed in your demeanor as you spoke about art and the history attached to it. You bloomed before his very eyes.

You came alive.

“I wonder if a few of the paintings are still around,” you murmured, eyes averting to one side of the room. “Could we…”

He nodded, readying his gun. “We can try.”

You expected this place to be crawling with infected. At least a few here and there, yet nothing but silence greeted you with each new room you entered. It became unnerving after a while. As if fate was waiting to drop the other shoe, tearing apart something already special.

Hesitation lingered in each step you took, fear crawling along your nerves like a spider, until you entered a room filled with paintings torn apart. Once upon a time it was a gallery, yet now the delicate pieces of history were nothing but a reminder of what happened.

Tucked away on a side wall, you found a painting still hanging. A small crack went through the top corner of the glass covering it, but as a whole the piece remained pristine enough to make out.

“You know that one?” he asked, following your quick pace through the room.

“Allegory of the Planets and Continents.”

“Allegory huh?”

You nodded. “Painted by Tiepolo in…1752.”

“I can’t say I’ve heard of him.”

“He did a lot of allegorical pieces.” You tilted your head, eyes tracing the intricate details that were nearly lost to time. Joel did the same. “I remember seeing this in a class presentation.”

He hummed, his gaze finding its way back to you. “And what does it mean?”

“A number of things really.” You pointed to the center. “That’s Apollo. And those are the gods as a representation of the planets. Mars, Jupiter, Venus. You know.”

“And them?”

You sighed. “Humanity.” His hand found its way towards yours, fingers twining together as you stood there. Alone in a museum together. “They’re waiting for Apollo to take to the skies and bring about the sun.”

“Seems like a lot of work for a God.”

The smile that crossed your face made Joel’s chest tighten. “I guess it was. Although it’s strange. Back then people were waiting for the sun and now…well now we wait for death.”

Pain flared in his heart quickly and without warning. But he did his best to force it down, steadying himself in your hold. Oh how he wished he could tell you the truth. About the past he had yet to accept as his own. About the bullet that never met its mark—the hand that remained unsteady even now.

“We should go soon,” you said, pulling him out of his own mind, and he nearly thanked you. “The sun will be going down eventually.”

He nodded. “Go out the way we came.”

It hurt to say goodbye to a building you’d never been in before. But that’s not where the pain stemmed from. You’d said goodbye to the prospect of what if a long time ago. You had to. This was from losing such a precious moment with Joel—a memory you’d hold onto for as long as you could. For that time…you were simply two people wandering the halls of a museum together. Finally on a date after so long traveling.

Maybe if you had met years before in a bar or in a park. You wouldn’t have to say goodbye.

The sunlight felt different back on the steps, brighter, crueler. As if Apollo was mocking you for such a small hope, such a small dream come to life. Yet even now you couldn’t blame him.

You headed back the way you came through the city. But your feet were weary, your body drooped with each step, and eventually you’d collapse on the asphalt just as the buildings once did. Joel could tell with each look he threw your way, checking to make sure you were in fact following him. He wouldn’t have put it past you to remain in that building.

To make a home with history.

“We can’t sleep here,” he said, pausing to let you catch your breath.

“I know. My feet just…”

He nodded solemnly, squinting against the sunlight. “Wait here.”

“Joel?”

There was no time to question his actions, because you were out of breath as it was, and he was moving further away quicker than you expected. Standing there in the middle of the street wasting sunlight turned your insides with every second that passed. Your eyes caught sight of him turning a corner before he vanished entirely from your sight. And you held onto the thin shred of sanity you had left in your body.

You trusted Joel. A fact truer than anything you’d known in your life.

So you waited, watched your surrounding areas, and held your breath. 

If you weren’t so unnerved by the silence, you might have found it enjoyable. Some peace before the two of you went in search of a QZ that may no longer be there. That thought never occurred to you—traveling with Joel kept you distracted enough to where you didn’t focus on the important things. The question that now picked at your heart.

What were you supposed to do if the QZ wasn’t there? Where would you go?

Blind faith is all that kept you going, but that never seemed to be enough. In the end you were left with nothing but disappointment. You’d run all out of faith when it came to the fates. The still healing wound on your side was proof enough of that.

The echo of dried leaves cracking beneath feet signaled to you that Joel must have returned. Whatever he was looking for must have been a bust. The smile on your face and tease right on the tip of your tongue died in moments as you turned. A rock falling to your stomach, filling you with dread.

Dried blood caked down the side of their face. A deep red now a rust brown; a stark contrast to the green moss that covered their torn clothes.

Every time you saw one you felt the punch to your gut grow stronger. As if lead embedded itself in your flesh. Again. Your breath came in short, eyes stuck staring at what was once a person. They stumbled forward, body twitching with every stunted shift. And you wanted to scream. Shout for Joel, but your mouth sealed itself shut, your body rooted to the ground beneath you.

The whole time you were aching for life to return to this city, you forgot. Life already existed here. Mangled and rotting and steeped in death.

But life nonetheless.

They turned, eyes glassy and empty, but somewhere in the depth of them they recognized that you were alive. Your heart pounded against your chest, louder than their fucking screech. It pierced right through your skin, a slice to the already existing wound.

You clutched Joel’s gun, finger sliding along the trigger. It was easy enough to pull, to set the bullet flying towards its mark. And you should have pulled it, should have watched as they dropped, but like an idiot…you hesitated.

Why the fuck did you hesitate?

A pause of silence filled the space, echoing louder than any gun could have, before time slowed before your very eyes. How fucking stupid of you. To think you’d be safe. They clocked your shift back, head twitching, before that horrifying click you’d come to hate echoed in your ears. You were dead the second they started to run, limbs flying and body thrashing, as if the control stemmed to one part.

One sole purpose.

Infect.

“Fuck!” you shouted, ignoring the ache in your feet as you sprinted in the direction Joel disappeared to. If you were lucky he was still there.

Yet life had a way of proving to you that luck had nothing to do with why you remained alive.

“Joel!” You gasped for breath, doing what you could to ignore how they sped up behind you, their screech somehow louder as it echoed off the buildings around you. “Joel!”

If you could get the upper hand you could put a bullet in their skull, but your thought process happened too late. Glancing over your shoulder, you were blinded by their body launching at you. Toppling you to the ground as they scratched for your face, any part of you they could sink their teeth into. You don’t remember screaming, or even calling Joel’s name. You simply fought. You tugged on the loose thread of pure fucking rage that called your name—screamed for you to do survive.

“You piece of shit!” you yelled, managing to hold them off with your forearm, your fingers grappling for the knife attached to your side. “You fucking animal!”

“Boston!”

Yanking it out, you nearly cried in relief as you jammed it into their neck, shoving it in deep enough to hear a crunch as it met bone. Satisfaction pulled at your chest. You didn’t stop there. Dragging it out, you sliced through their shoulder, their throat, any part of them you could reach. Until you were no better than the monster that now lay above you. Lifeless.

Hands came out of nowhere, grasping onto their corpse and shoving it off you. You nearly took a swing at the person above you, the red fury blinding you to anything that could have existed nearby. The feral piece of your heart—the survivor—had been set in motion and they called for blood.

Joel’s hands yanked the knife out of your clutch, his voice calling your name, and for a moment you felt lost to the depths of your own fury. You would have killed him if he wasn’t fast enough to dodge that knife.

“Boston!” He pressed you to the ground, his body sitting on your waist, hands keeping your wrists together. “Baby it’s me.”

The breath in your lungs escaped in a sharp gasp, your body stilling within seconds. Only a few times in your life had you succumbed to that raw emotion that scratched and clawed at your chest. Some days you claimed it kept you alive. Others you ignored its existence in the hopes that it would disappear for good. It was the darkness you refused to see—the one thing you wouldn’t accept about yourself.

“You’re okay,” he mumbled, releasing the hold he had on your hands in order to cup your face. “It’s dead. It’s gone. You killed it.”

You let out a shaky breath. “Why…did you leave?”

Leaning forward he pressed his forehead to yours, his breath hot across your chin. “I’m sorry darlin’. I keep doin’ that.”

Inhaling his breath, you did what you could to regulate your heart. “And I keep nearly dying.”

He grinned, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. “Nearly. Not if I got a say in the matter.”

Dirt covered your back as he helped you to your feet, and before you could shake it off, he brushed his hands along your body. Patting it off as best he could. The act shouldn’t have brought tears to your eyes, it shouldn’t have even been noteworthy. But the tenderness behind his touch reminded you what you could have lost.

“I want an explanation,” you said, your voice thick with tears. Thankfully he chose to ignore it.

“I found somethin’.” He pointed to a shop that held no sign, no indication that it was anything before this. “You might like it.”

You struggled to put the knife back in its place—still wary and on edge. “This better be good Texas. I didn’t almost die for nothing.”

Joel didn’t respond, but you caught the flash of something crossing his face. Dark enough to cause worry. And you wanted to ask, to prod and poke at what he was keeping to himself, but the way his fingers tightened on his gun told you enough. He didn’t like to think of you that way. Dead on the ground in a city that he brought you to. A trip that was meant to be filled with joy.

“Follow me,” he stated, pushing open that already broken door.

You half expected to see a shop, something frivolous from the past, but the sight of a garage nearly stopped you in your tracks. A dusty brown cover cloaked something in the middle, but the shape was familiar enough to light up your chest. A car. Joel tugged at the cover, kicking up dirt and whatever else lay atop, but you couldn’t care less.

It’s once beautiful dark red color looked aged with however long it had been here. Never one to know cars, you simply knew that it was expensive—a thing that would have cost the entirety of your tuition at one point.

“How…” you breathed.

“Saw the logo on the window,” he replied. “I figured it was a hardware store until I came in.”

“Does it work?”

He shrugged. “Probably not.”

You deflated slightly. “Can we…fix it?”

The sun was going down faster than you would have liked and Joel knew it. He could see how you were both losing time the longer you were there. But the prospect of having an escape kept him on the edge. His grim expression made the choice for you as you moved to pop the hood. Your bag, now discarded on the floor by his feet.

“I don’t know much about cars—”

“Lucky you got me.”

“Don’t tell me. You’re a contractor who knows cars?”

Joel huffed. “Someone had to help my brother fix up his shitty truck.”

The words were good enough for you as he moved you out of the way, ducking down to peer at the engine. His shirt tugged up his back as he leant forward, his skin coated in a sheen of sweat. If it were any other time and the prospect of this car working didn’t depend on life or death, you would have sat back and admired him.

But the edge from earlier still ran through your veins, adrenaline the only thing that kept you upright and stable. Joel worked silently, cursing under his breath every now and then. Only speaking to ask for certain tools. And you watched the sun begin to dip lower. Suddenly you found yourself regretting never taking auto shop in high school. Choosing wood shop over it in a heartbeat.

“Turn her over,” he said, wiping the sweat away from his neck. You felt warmth pool in your stomach at the sight.

Jamming the screwdriver into the ignition, you turned it slowly, hope cresting at the top of your chest. Only for the sputter of an engine to die out in seconds.

“Shit,” he muttered, glancing back at the work he’d put in. “The battery ain’t dead yet and I fixed everythin’ else. Try again for me darlin’.”

You repeated the motion, pressing down on the gas pedal, clutching the wheel in your hand. Whether it was you attempting to force life into the car, or sheer fucking luck, you’d never know. But the echo of the engine roaring to life flooded you with enough relief you fell back into the seat with a smile.

“Joel?”

He looked up, a smile of pride across his lips. “Yeah baby?”

“Let’s get the fuck out of New York.”

Nodding, he tossed your bag into the backseat as you let him slide into the driver's seat. “I like the sound of that.”

The calm of the forest welcomed the both of you with open arms. As if promising the rest you ached for desperately. Miles and miles of trees—of different shades of green and brown—were softly illuminated by the sun steadily dipping in the sky. In an hour or less night would be upon the world and this day, no matter how special, would have to come to an end.

You tried not to think about it; the idea of having to say goodbye to something you’d cherish. What would keep you going if Joel and you were to ever part. What you wouldn’t do to keep the sun in the sky for a while longer. Give up a few years of your own life, of the future you planned with hope filled eyes and empty hearts.

If staying here—in this moment—was an option, you wouldn’t hesitate to jump at the chance.

Joel slammed the trunk of the car shut, a small box of cans he found buried in the back of the garage, clutched in his hands. Despite the prospect of all this eventually ending, you caught the hint of a smile on his lips. Barely there, yet bright enough to light up your heart like a match being struck.

You found yourself smiling back—heart hammering loudly in your chest.

“We’ve got…” He raised a can covered in dents and coated in a thick layer of dust. “‘M gonna assume it’s soup.”

“Lovely,” you laughed, your face twisting up in disgust as he tossed it to you.

The dust was sticky beneath your fingers, as if something had spilled across it years ago. You figured it was best not to question more than necessary. Settling on the ground, you plunged your knife into the cover, taking a hesitant whiff of something probably expired past saving. Much to your surprise though, a pungent scent of tomatoes greeted you.

“Raviolis,” you exclaimed, delight scrawled across your face.

You wished you could have seen Joel’s eyes go soft, seen the way he practically melted at the expression of joy you wore. Joel Miller remained hard as stone to the rest of the world, but in moments like this, when peace was prominent and life gave way to something other than pain. He allowed himself to feel. For a bit…he was the man he might have been a decade ago.

“Good enough for me.”

Prying the lid off, you watched as he set up stones for a small enough pit. You were far enough in the forest that it would take people several hours to get to you. Far enough away from civilization of any kind. What remained in the city, the bits and pieces left behind, would never be enough to build what used to exist. Like it or not…that part of the world had come to a close.

The chapter sealed and signed off with enough blood to keep it shut forever.

“Thank you,” you said softly as he struck a match from the small box you kept in your pack. “For today.”

He grinned, glancing down at his hands that fiddled with a stick. “Was nothin’ really. You wanted to see the city and we were heading this way—”

“Joel.” Cupping his face, you shifted his shining brown eyes until they were upon your face. Gazing at you with a look he’d never shown you before. “You gave me a day I’ll never forget.” He chuckled, grasping onto your waist gently. “Thank you.”

Those two words didn’t seem like enough to get your message across. You wanted to do the same for him. To give him something he’d remember, but nothing felt enough.

He pulled you closer. “Would have been better if you didn’t get attacked.”

“Well…” You looped your arm around his neck. “I knew what I was getting into when I chose you.”

Something shifted in the air between you the second he led you up those cracked and broken museum steps. The front of the building had been blown clean off by bombs, but you’d recognize it anywhere. The place where your future once led to. A home in your heart for so long. A dream not yet come to life. Joel took care to lead, to put himself in harm's way to keep you safe. But it was more than that.

He gave you time to look.

To take back a part of your past you never got to have.

An act that he’d never be able to do. He couldn’t go back, couldn’t take anything from his past that hadn’t already been destroyed. The watch on his wrist was all he’d keep. But you…he could give this to you. He could heal something in your heart you didn’t even realize was broken.

“I’d do it again,” he murmured, lips sliding along the inside of your wrist, nose pressed to your palm.

Your heart ached for him; body burned for him. And in the lowlight of the sun, you found your hope in him. It glimmered softly, barely within reach, but Joel had kept it for you all this time. He made sure to protect what you couldn’t—what you had given up.

“Kiss me,” you whispered, catching his quickly darkening gaze. “Please.”

The crackle of the flames couldn’t hide his small groan of pleasure as his lips met yours. What he intended to be soft, reverent in a way he’d never been before, shifted rapidly. His hand slid up your body, fingers wrapped gently around your throat to keep you in place. To help him devour you a bit deeper. That alone sent a flutter to rush through your entire body, your fingers digging into his wrist, silently begging for him to press down tighter.

To cut off the air he exhaled into your lungs.

“You got no idea—” He sucked in a breath when your lips met his throat, teeth nipping at the salty skin. Red bloomed beneath the surface as you went, small marks and bruises to prove that he wasn’t dreaming. That this trip was real—that you were real.

He growled, fingers tightening around your throat to pull your lips back to his, a rough breath exhaled into your open mouth. “No idea what you do to me darlin’.”

Sticky warm wet heat spilled into your stomach, flooding your already damp panties. The can was forgotten on the edge of the pit, his touch far more enticing than a few meager pieces of food. If you could survive on one thing alone, you’d want it to be him. You would train your body to sustain itself on his touch, his tongue sliding along yours, his fingers digging into your skin.

He’d become your oxygen, your reason for living.

“I-I do.” You gasped as his teeth dug into your throat, hands quickly stripping you of your flannel. Helping him, you yanked at your shirt, discarding it to the side. Nothing mattered but the feel of his tongue tracing along your skin—the hot mix of his touch and spit made you dizzy. “You do the same to me.”

A soft grunt was muffled into your chest, his hips rising up to grind against something. To gain what little friction he could.

In the midst of kissing him, he managed to drag you into his lap, your knees pressed to the forest floor on either side of his hips. Your body, as close as you could get with clothes in the way. You could feel the heavy press of him against your thigh and clenched around nothing. The needy emptiness that slammed into your body was nearly too much, but you held onto what little fragments of sanity still remained.

You clung to the bits of yourself he wished to consume, knowing the consequences of what might come afterwards.

But how could you give a fuck about consequences when his touch lit you up like the fire to your left? How could you care about anything else? When his lips wrapped around your peaked nipple and sucked at it as if you were his source of life.

His hands slid up your back, skin hot wherever he touched, as he pulled you down into his lap a bit more. Enough to feel the familiar press of his cock straining against his jeans. The sun was nearly gone now, light bleeding through the branches of the trees, and you let the warmth consume you. You relished in its burning caress as he worshiped your skin with his mouth, his hands that had spilled blood for you.

“Need to be—” He bit off with a sharp moan as you rolled your hips down, giving him the pressure he needed. “Fuck keep doin’ that.”

You were desperate for him and you weren’t afraid to admit it to yourself. The infatuation bordered on obsession, but if you were to say that about him he’d finally have to admit the same to you. He’d have to crack open his chest, bleed through your fingers like sand, and allow you to dig your way to his heart. As if you were conducting an autopsy on his body—picking a part each dark piece that he was ashamed to hold onto.

“Touch me,” you whined, digging your fingers into his hair as he dug his into your hips. A burning bruising touch that left you needy.

He grinned, pulling at the button of your pants. “I am touchin’ you darlin’.”

“You—fuck, fuck, fuck—” His fingers slid through your slick, finding their way to the parts of you he’d memorized in such a short time. Your clit practically throbbed beneath his touch, body shuddering as he circled it with enough pressure to electrify your nerves. “Yes.”

“That’s what you want?” The question was irrelevant. He knew this better than you, but that wasn’t what he was asking.

Is this enough? This quick fuck beside a fire as you both hid the real reason. Was his touch, his kiss, enough to show the truth?

Was he enough?

You choked out a soft yes, your lips finding his in a sloppy spit slicked kiss, and his fingers became insistent in their determination to watch you break. Joel had become addicted to the sight. His very own guilty pleasure—yet how could he feel guilty about something so angelic? How could he repent for a sin that he’d give up everything for? What was the point of worshiping at an altar when heaven existed between your thighs?

Eventually his fingers wouldn’t be enough. For either of you. But he was focused on one thing, feeling your pussy spill along his palm. He sunk two fingers into you knuckle deep and smiled as your head fell back, a throaty moan echoing off the trees. You grinded against his hand, fingers tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck. And this was enough.

“Prettiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, hand still placed around your throat. His cock leaked as it constricted with your swallow and images of what he’d look like in your mouth flashed in his mind.

“M-More—” You gasped, your clit dragging along the heel of his calloused palm.

But you had begged for something else and Joel was never one to deny you. He ripped at your pants as you did the same with his, your lips messy and rough against his. You swallowed his moan the second your cold hand wrapped around his throbbing cock—precum sliding down your palm as he did his best not to finish there and then. He was so fucking wound up that this would be over before it began.

Neither of you cared.

“You’ve gotta know,” he rasped, gripping onto your bare hip as you hovered directly over his cock. Your pussy practically dripped onto him.

“Know what?” you sighed, sliding him through your slick.

He squeezed his eyes shut to the sight of you. The shine of firelight and sunlight played against your skin and Joel felt his body tighten painfully. The view alone nearly made you double over in pleasure, your breaths coming in short gasps as he fought to finish on the front of your pussy.

“That I—” He gasped as you began to sink down onto him, encasing him that sticky heat he’d begun to think was the cause of his demise. He’d never be able to live without this. Without getting to carve his way into your body. “Fuck darlin’.”

You grinned, cupping his chin and pulling his attention back. “I’ll go slow.”

“You don’t have to take it easy on me.”

“Seems like I might.”

A rumble started in the base of his chest, lips curving up as he caught your mouth in a searing kiss you felt down to your toes. The grip on your throat tightened as you began to move slowly, letting him pull out of you slow enough to cause madness to rise in your chest. Like a burn you refused to let go of. Joel had other ideas. He yanked you down with enough force to drag out a high pitched cry from your chest, your mouth falling open in a silent scream when he set his own pace.

Quick and fast and filthy enough to sign your name on hell’s roster. He wanted to fuck himself into your body so deep he was buried there. Wanted to paint your insides until you were leaking him all morning. He wanted to etch himself into your soul.

Permanent and without shame.

“C’mon darlin’.” His teeth dug into your jaw, pain slicing through the pleasure deliciously. “Let me hear ya.”

You curled into him, meeting him thrust for thrust as he pounded up into you. “‘S good,” you gasped, coherency going right out the window.

He grinned, tugging at your throat. “You can do better than that.”

Words faintly entered your mind before disappearing seconds later as he tilted your hips slightly. You scratched at his chest when his cock struck right where you needed him. Right where your mouth began to form words you fought so hard to keep at bay. Words that revealed too much, gave a window into your heart, and if you had the capability you’d shut your fucking mouth. But it was far too late for that.

“You like that?” he groaned, teeth digging into his plush bottom lip as he kept the angle. The veins on his neck were strained, begging for you lick at them, and you dipped down to distract yourself from the words.

The one thing that seemed to catch his attention.

“What was that?”

You whined, wrapped an arm around his neck as you dragged your hips along the coarse hair at the base of his cock. “Nothing,” you mumbled, sucking at his neck.

Only for him to pull you off by your throat, his lips hovering over yours. “What’d you say?”

“I—” You clung to him, begging for the truth to sink back into your chest. But he was staring at you with dark eyes and a parted mouth begging for you to kiss it. He looked at you as if you were ethereal and for that small moment, you believed it. “I love you.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, his hips stuttering in their movement. You watched his eyes go wide, understanding finally dawning across his features, and you prepared yourself for the worst. You waited for him to reject you. The words never came. He pulled you into a kiss, tongue sliding along yours, as he sped up his thrusts. Grunting into your mouth with each one—his body taut and begging for release.

“Yeah?” he panted into your mouth. You nodded, feeling the burn of pleasure begin to flash white behind your shut eyes.

“So much,” you sobbed, tears spilling down your cheeks. Something pulled tight in your stomach, building with each stunted move of his body against yours. You needed it, would beg on your knees for it, and Joel was right there with you.

His dark gaze met yours as he finally released your throat in favor of finding your clit. “Say it again.”

Heat rocketed up your spine as you locked down around his cock, his fingers insistent and rough. “I love you!” you cried, trembling in his hold. Those three words you’d been so afraid to say out loud finally spilled free over and over and over again. Until you couldn’t hear them anymore over the loud rush in your ears.

He slammed his hips up one last time, lips finding yours in a bruising kiss, and found his own peak. Spilling into you with a moan, his arms wrapping around your waist to keep you pressed up close. You wondered if he feared you’d vanish before his very eyes.

“I love you,” he sighed, his forehead pressed to yours, eyes shut to your own wide gaze.

The words didn’t register at first, simply flying directly over your head. Yet as silence wrapped around your entwined bodies, sunlight disappearing over the last of the trees, you finally understood. No orgasm could match the absolute bliss that filled your body at the echo of his voice forming those words. Of their soft cadence. He was hesitant to look at you, to face what could finally break him, but your hands cupping his face drew him out of his own mind.

“Say it again,” you whispered, smiling so bright your cheeks ached. “Please.”

Before you could bask in their beauty, he was pulling away. Digging into his pack that lay behind him. You wanted to stop him, bring him back to this current moment, but the glint of something gold caused you to freeze. The breath once again caught in your chest.

For the first time you saw Joel grow nervous. Almost bashful as he lifted his hand and allowed a small green jewel on a gold chain to dangle between the both of you. The last of the sunlight glinted off the emerald and for some reason it reminded you of him. How it shone in those rare moments when light caught it just right. Yet held a darkness to it, a hidden truth yet to be revealed.

“I love you,” he said, pressing the necklace into your palms. “I always will darlin’.”

Tears dripped onto his hands as you clutched the dainty piece of jewelry to your chest. “Oh Joel.”

“It’s not a ring—”

You silenced him with a tear filled kiss, salt spilling across his tongue. He did what he could to wipe them away, but like it or not there seemed to be no end in sight. Not when your heart finally latched onto all those broken pieces you thought were lost. Joel did the one thing you never thought possible. He healed you.

“It’s enough.” You smiled into his kiss, the necklace digging into your palm—carving its shape into your skin. “You’re enough.”

You could see it now. The path your future led to. Not a building, or a job, or even a home. The end of your path—your grand plan—would always and forever lead to him.

#this is so long i don't even know what to say #um...i'm sorry for what's about to happen next???? #ANYWAYS I'M JUST GONNA *dips for fear of this flopping* #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller smut #joel miller #the last of us fic #my writing

[fallingintoyourlilaceyes]

A simple wager (Sihtric Kjartanson x wife!Reader)

synopsis: Your husband has been away for far too long and his hair looks terrible so the two of you use this chance for a simple wager. Or at least you thought it would be simple.

warnings: pwp, seriously there is like no plot, oral (f recieving), kind of orgasm control if you squint, reader braiding Sihtric´s hair, afab reader

word count: 1.5k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @foxyanon

(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by me

At first you had been confident nothing could go wrong with your plan. A simple wager proposed to your husband, whose hair desperately needed to be braided anew as the old braids were growing out quickly and who you were desperate to spend as much time with as possible while you had him home. Simple enough that you were sure to win. Had you not underestimated your husband's hunger for you and his ability to please you with even the smallest of touches. With the skirt of your dress flipped up you sit propped up against the pillows on top of the furs. Your legs are spread far enough for Sihtric to lay in between them. His arms snake around your thighs to pull you slightly closer, which has your hand that combs through his hair lightly pulling on the dark tresses and your breath shudder. You get barely enough time to part the first strand before he peppers kisses all over your inner thigh. Close to where you want him most and wandering closer steadily, but by far not close enough. Your husband’s hot breath fans over your already wet core, coaxing your legs to close a bit tighter around his head.

"Oh... Fuck..." Your hand movements halt and you bend forward with the moan that escapes your lips when the tip of his nose nudges the sensitive bundle of nerves atop your cunt.

"Are you giving up already? I thought you said you could do this…” Sihtric teases and as if to emphasize his point flattens his tongue and licks a stripe up your needy hole.

“I am very able to do this. I will do it.” You protest, but the whine that follows absolutely contradicts the sentiment.

The vibrations of his low laughter have you squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe through the burning sensation that tingles throughout all your nervous system. However, even that deep breath is accompanied by an almost pitiful moan.

“Gods, you have not a single clue how much I have missed you…” He pushes his face as deep into your folds as he can to fuck your tight channel with his tongue.

“Shit, I believe I am getting an idea.” You giggle and take another deep breath, concentrating on the braiding so that it is as neat and close to his scalp as possible. Whenever you accidentally pull on a strand due to a flash of pleasure at what was being done to you.

You need multiple breaks and are on the verge of tapping out multiple times, but eventually you manage to cuff the braid with one of the small metal beads by your side. As soon as you do so, Sihtric closes his lips around your pearl to suck on it directly.

At the action your hand stops and trembles while trying to part another strand of dark hair off. “Aaahhhh… Damn it…” The high-pitched moan that he elicits from you, makes your husband smile against your cunt as he begins sucking the slightest bit stronger.

“Are you still not giving up, love?” He mumbles so close to your skin that you could feel them move against it. Immediately he gets shut up by your cunt chasing the stimulation only he could bring. Stimulation much needed and yearned for, chased even when picked up again by dragging your core along the lower half of his face, wetting it with your juices in the process.

“No way. I… I said I am able to do this so I will be d-doing it…” You mumble through a bitten lower lip. “Simply do not stop. Please.”

“Hm, as you wish…” Sihtric muses behind a handsome half smile that made your heart beat out of your chest as if it wasn't ready to do so already with the way he ate you out so passionately as if it was giving him even greater pleasure than it does you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” The string of curses gets released under your breath, while you do your best at not losing your mind.

As calmly and collected as possible, you tell yourself in your mind to take it slow. Even if your fingers threaten to lose grip of the hair multiple times or struggle to pick up a new strand, somehow you manage to cross the sections of soft, dark hair over another in the according order. All the while Sihtric´s tongue drives you crazy by swirling around your pearl. Filling the room with the most lewd and wet sounds possible. Meanwhile the bed shifts underneath you as he shifts his position so one of his hands could comfortably come up to play with your dripping hole. At first it is only one finger dragging against your velvety walls like it is mapping you out after being away for too long. Hitting all the sweet spots and getting you to pull on his hair to keep yourself grounded.

When your husband adds a second finger, your back arches away from the pillows and your eyebrows knit together tightly.

“All this time and you are still so fucking tight for me.” The hissed praise only added to the heat between the two of you and inside your body. “You are doing so well for me.”

By the pull on his scalp Sihtric knows you are almost done and the clenching walls around his fingers signals that you are close to climaxing. And he is still determined to make you lose the challenge. So, it comes to no surprise though a bit of a shock when a third finger gets pushed inside of you. The long digits get pumped in and out at a bruising pace, curling to expertly bullying your sweet spot over and over again.

"I am so close…” You whimper helplessly. Your hips writhing against Sihtric´s face with a mind of their own as your brain fights off the fog that tries to take it over.

Your breathing had began wracking your chest there was no way it would help you calm down anymore. Your fingers fumble with the small braid, dropping the metal cuff multiple times before you manage to get it into his hair and closing it up successfully. Immediately your hand threads into the hair at the back of Sihtric´s head to pull him closer. Eager on finally having that knot in your lower stomach burst and let the peak of pleasure wash over you. However, your husband pulls away once more, right before you can reach that relief.

"Please." The plea comes in a protesting whimper immediately after the loss of contact. Your eyes searching for his desperately.

"Please what? Use your words my love." He reprimands you in the gentlest tone of voice.

“I told you I could do it. I won, so please do not stop. I need this release so badly.” Your lower body half writhes and wiggles to get back his attention. Instead Sihtric lets out a laugh. A low rumble, deep in his muscly chest, that never failed to make the juices drip down your thighs.

“I suppose you did…” He sighs teasingly and captures your half lidded, wet eyes with his dark, loving ones. “How do you wish to finish, love?”

“On your tongue… Please make me come undone on your tongue.” You cry out and a small tear of neediness escapes from the corner of one eye.

For a split second Sihtric´s gaze softens at the sight of how affected you are.

“How could I ever refuse such a sweet plea?” He growls with another smile and wipes the tear away.

The sweet gesture has you gasping as he begins fucking you with renewed vigour.  His lips and tongue sucked on and toyed with your sensitive pearl expertly and the pace at which his fingers thrust into you, was both perfectly in sync and relentless. Your nails rake across his scalp and dig into his skin, leaving red streaks all over his biceps and making him moan against your flesh to spurn you on and derail your mind even further.

“You taste so divine. How could I ever go without a taste of your nectar for so long?” His question is being mumbled against you. This time muffled by his inability to part from you any longer.

The moans and whimpers from your lungs turn into screams that would be very well heard from the streets. There was not a care in the world for how sore your throat would become, the knot in your tummy coiled impossibly tight and then finally exploded. Leaving your whole body shaking like an earthquake. Patiently, Sihtric lets you ride out the peak, slurping up all your juices like a man starved until the shaking had calmed to a small tremor and you push him away in overstimulation. Only then does he crawl on top of you to give you a taste of yourself, which you gladly and with panting breath accept. Your state gives you great struggle to keep up with the kiss.

“Now, get ready for something even better than that.” It is by all means a warning and a promise that passes Sihtric´s lips as he practically rips the clothes of his body to line up his large cock with your dripping channel.

#sihtric tlk #sihtric #sihtric kjartanson #sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartanson x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartanson x you #the last kingdom #tlk #the last kingdom fanfic #tlk fanfic

[ginxx00]

Hey, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, and I apologize if I do.

Could you maybe write something about wanderer x GN!reader that is part of fatui?Maybe reader used to work under him before he erased his ties with fatui.

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)

Gore implied, unhinged Scaramouche, reader being heavily injured and fragile, GN!reader

Scaramouche was an infamous villain, being well known in the Fatui ranks. He also happens to have been your boss the entire time when he encountered Mona, Fischl, and the traveler… Revealing that you, a weak mere mortal, was none other than (Y/N).

However, it seems that after Sumeru’s redemption arc, his entirety and existence has been erased and dealt with.

So…. What happened to you, when Scaramouche wasn’t your boss anymore?

“.. (Y)-(Y/N)…?”

Horrified, Scaramouche sees you without limbs. You didn’t have arms, you didn’t have legs… You were there, brutally injured on your ground. All because, he wasn’t there to take care of you anymore.

“Oh… Oh Archons, (Y/N)!” Scaramouche shouted in absolute terror before sitting next to you, his breaths being quickened, sounding like panting and as if he didn’t get to take a break at all. Your body was tightly engulfed into a hug, your tired eyes gazing at the male so confused and so lost…. And yet, you yearned for somebody to find you.. And it somehow came true.

But you didn’t know who he was.

“I’m sorry…” The hat guy’s voice suddenly broke, catching you slightly off guard as you didn’t expect him to suddenly cry… Why was he crying? Oh, poor dear, he’s crying because you’ve lost your limbs. Anyone would cry if they saw you like this, especially the Archons.

“It’s okay… It’s okay, oh fuck… You’re bleeding through your bandages…!” You watched in awe… Tiredly gazing at the guy who desperately tried bandaging you up with a bag he had along with. (Gifted from his auntie Nahida) He puts you soon on his lap, making you slightly flinch in surprise, but it didn’t take long for you as well to relax into his touch so oddly…. The male’s warmth.. Was something you always wanted… So warm…

Scaramouche however was so busy and panicked by your appearance, he started scolding you. “Damnit (Y/N)…! You should be more careful!! What the Hell! You’re fragile as a glass, you shouldn’t be able to even be outside!” He shouts relentlessly, with your mind poorly questioning; how did he know your name. You’ve never seen him before, and somehow, yet, he’s crying…

“Just- just…!” Scaramouche couldn’t help himself, and broke down when he saw how you looked at him. You were so tired it made him feel shattered. He tightly hugs you again after bandaging you up, tightening his hold onto you. He will never let you go. Never again.

“I am… So fucking sorry…”

You blink at the sudden apology… Sorry? What was he sorry for? Was he sorry for finding you? Was he sorry for something else? No… There was another meaning… Because Scaramouche suddenly buried his face into your shoulders.

“I’ll kill them… I’ll kill them all for you… Oh Gods, I shouldn’t have left you… I knew it was a mistake…”

“I’m so sorry…”

Words kept repeating over and over again. You were sure he was just trying to be gentle and empathetic, but you… For some reason, felt your cheeks becoming warm…. So very warm, like it’s really sweet and nice.. It felt incredible…

“… Don’t…” You trailed off, making Scaramouche immediately snap his head up to look at you with wide eyes. “D… Don’t?? Don’t what?! Don’t hug?? I’ll let go, oh of course I am so-” “D..on’t…” You cut him off, making Scaramouche become confused as he… Seemed lost. Oh… Were you trying to continue speaking? Oh you poor doll, he should’ve been quiet and not assume.

“Pl..e…..as…e… Don’t… Apo..lo..giz……e…” Your voice cord was completely broken, and that just caused something to snap inside Scaramouche’s mind… Who could’ve done this to you…? No, because WHO could’ve done this to you? You were loyal, you always did whatever he wanted, and the WORLD HARSHLY PUNISHED YOU. It betrayed you. Humanity betrayed you.

There was no single sanity in Scaramouche’s mind. He has completely lost it all. “… Oh.. (Y/N)…” He looked so terrified for a moment, before his face darkened, and looked completely unhinged in front of you. He kept holding you, so he never really hated you at all… Instead, he began burying his face onto your shoulder again… A hand trailing across your back as his eyes glowed.

“You’ll never go outside again… I promise you that…”

Warning to those who follow me📝 I do short hcs when it’s a request, sorry it isn’t long enough

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #genshin impact x you

[atrueneutral]

Just read the prompt fill of Raphael's little mouse chipping away at his composure all day and- whew! How did you manage to make that both hot and funny?! I could practically see Raphael's face going from shock at Tav's audacity to it slowly becoming more scrunched up (as it does) the more frustrated he becomes—in more ways than one—and the closer his composure gets to snapping. And that ending though...

I wonder if the little mouse's punishment would involve being taken in that alley and having to try to remain quiet. *gets jumped by the horny police and dragged back to horny jail*

Tav was absolutely lapping up his facial expressions!

Here’s a brief little follow up in the alley…

[PART I]

—-

Her leather armor was in the way, preventing him from accessing her breasts. Fortunately, Raphael could still grab a clothed handful of the ass that had earlier been put on display.

It was unseemly, someone of his kind and stature to kiss her in an alley like he was some desperate, hormonal mortal, but she had frayed his seams with her flirtations and he would physically fray hers.

Mint overwhelmed the residual flavor of banana as he tasted her tongue and licked and tugged at her lips - solidifying his presumption that his mouse planned this conclusion and prepared for it by sucking on a sweet.

His mouse, too, was exuding ‘desperate, hormonal mortal’; she clumsily pulled down her breeches and smallclothes, and he followed suit, his cock stiff and yearning to find warmth in her cunt. 

Impatience caused his mouse to break their kiss. She turned around and braced her hands flat against the wall, offering him her fleshy backside and the slit between her legs.

“We’d better hurry if you don’t want to be late for that ‘last’ appointment,” his mouse said with a devilish smirk.

He lined his hips with hers, the tip of him at her slick entrance.

Her eagerness to be filled had her pushing into him, and she moaned when Raphael eased his cock into her wonderfully tight cunt.

It was hyperbolic, but finally being able to take her was the closest a fiend such as him would ever get to experiencing heaven.

“You are my appointment, my dear,” he growled as he sheathed himself inside of her. His movements were slow to start, but his patience snapped when need demanded more, and Raphael was soon steadily pounding into her while she touched herself with a hand shoved between her thighs.

“Oh, gods!” keened his mouse.

“Quiet!” he ordered gruffly. “Or the ‘assassins’ might hear us. How are you to defend me when you’re against a wall being taken from behind by a devil?”

“Fuck!” she whimpered. “There, ah, are no assassins - please don’t stop, Raphael, just like that…”

“The truth comes out…”

She assisted his hands in driving her hips back, and, when she eventually came, with a muffled cry and trembling body, he felt satisfaction in knowing it was her walls clenching around him. He reduced his pace, to allow her time to savor the wave of pleasure and to also postpone his own release.

“Your armor is in the way of the rest of you,” Raphael said into her ear, pulling her flush to him before his hands traveled upwards across her leather covered abdomen.

“I guess you’ll have to take me somewhere to take it off, won’t you?” she replied.

Raphael hummed.

“There’s time for that later - for now, I think this block should hear you sing for me…”

#bg3 #raphael bg3 #raphael x tav #raphael x tav fanfiction #my writing #answered #drabble #baldur’s gate 3 fanfiction #baldur’s gate 3

[fickleduster]

↳ Weak to my Knees || ♡

There was just something about your tanned skin that Diluc was absolutely enamoured by.

➤ pairing/s: diluc x m.reader

➤ cw: there ain't no plot to be read, semi-public(?) masturbation, implied fwb situation, Diluc is down atrocious, not proofread at all lmao

[mdni ♡] Pure nsfw under the cut!!

There was just something about your tanned skin that Diluc was absolutely enamoured by.

... How he adores that when simply moving around, as either sleeve of yours slightly folds and unveils the lighter complexion within the fabric, the mere implication drives Diluc into a wall (and the literal wall of the tavern in those rare nights of desperation,) that the memories of your bare body in those faithful encounters resurface... Memories of the nights when you layed together in his bedroom, exchanging pent-up passion.

He could still recall the familiar, sinful sight as if it'd merely happened yesterday; that as you undressed, Diluc begged the archons to have mercy for him and his palpitating heart. He could've sworn he'd cave in simply from your transparent, yearning gaze.

You knew well what a mere stare does to Diluc— knew that even when offering your body, Diluc would instead lose himself within your lidded eyes. That from the display of pure lust within them, Diluc wouldn't help but be lured in and only fall further.

It was no wonder he found himself falling in love with those nights, wondering when you'll be able to meet again. Since your rendezvous were few and far between, Diluc would savor and take the time to appreciate every surface on your beautiful skin when given the chance, caressing and engulfing your intoxicating scent.

Embarrassingly (yet also unsurprisingly) enough, Diluc would be breathless after simple foreplay, that when he's finally allowed entrance, he would dare say he's been welcomed to the gates of Celestia with how heavenly his beloved embraces him with every thrust...

It was nothing short of addicting; the way you would sigh out his name, how your warmth would generously envelope Diluc's, the way you'd touch him as your eyes tantalisingly gaze upon his bare body...

The memories prompt Diluc to unnecessarily grip the cloth he's been using to clean the same surface over and over. Luckily, the bar had already closed for the better part of the night, and there were no one to see him being so mindless with his work.

Diluc, agitated, sighs through the silence of it all, now looking down at the self-inflicted problem arising within his pants. He has dealt with this many times, although he still can't help the red humiliation that arouses whenever he touches himself to such indecent thoughts.

Mindlessly taking a chair just of reach, the loud scrape of it's legs reverberates almost as loud as Diluc's need to relieve himself.

... Having just slid his pants barely under his knees, Diluc then closes his eyes, now sliding a hand under the bindings of his underwear with a satisfied groan. That with a languid caress of his own hand, Diluc imagines you instead of his own rough hand, sensually taking his cock inside your gentle, velvety mouth with those captivating eyes.

If Diluc wasn't necessarily delirious before that moment, he most deifinitely was now, because fuck, he was already so close from a single touch.

Though he only continues stroking, desperate, as if to satiate his sudden carnal desire; pure, wanton need shattering through the gentlemanly exterior he so achingly tried to keep up around you.

You were the only man that could deprave Diluc into such a shameless and obscene mess, mumbling absolutely foul confessions as if you were actually in his presence.

Diluc has become lightheaded and irrational at that point, head hung back from the rest of the wooden seat. He's barely grasped the fact that he's already towards the end, dazed from his own hand's frenzied strokes. Envisioning a similarly salacious man under himself only incited a far more quick pace; your face, lips and hands... Oh, how you'd look absolutely divine when Diluc truly comes inside of your mouth— he'd imagine every bit of you chasing his orgasm as much as the he was...

And like that, Diluc stills with his hips bucking against his firm fingers, cum now staining the newly mopped floor.

... He could always clean later.

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ a/n: a friend told me

that this is just kaeluc w extra steps and I kinda get why now 🧍

#diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x male reader #x male reader #gay #Ehe #diluc x reader smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #x male y/n #Brainrot ehe

[kjmalfoy]

Captain John Price • Headcannons

Theme- 18+ NSFW/ Dirty Dancing with Price ;3

Author’s Note- Man, I love Price so much.. I need him biblically.

My Masterlist <33

Price is a very composed man, he can control himself very well— almost too well. But, when it comes home from a mission and you’re wearing nothing but one of his shirts? He looses it, immediately.

Ex: Price walked into your apartment, smelling your homemade soup already. “Sweetheart?” He calls out, walking through the front door— seeing you bent over the sink, reaching for your wooden spoon. The heat flushed straight to his cock, his erection pressing prominently against his pants. John walked over to you, latching his rough hands around your waist— pressing his cock against your back. “Fuck, you look good in my shirt.” He whispered.

Size Kink. Price absolutely LOVES how he hovers over you; his big calloused hand able to wrap around your tits perfectly… Not to mention how he gets off on the sight of his cock bulging in your tummy.

Ex: You were sprawled out on the bed, the straps of your bra dangling off your bare shoulder. John kneeled in front of you, one hand cupping your jawline; the other kneading and holding your breast. You watched his nostrils flare in frustration, eagerly tugging down his boxers; letting his hard cock spring free. “Want me to fill you up, hm baby?” He cooed at you, quickly slipping his cock into your dripping pussy; grunting as he dick plunged into your stomach.

Price is very secretive about your sex life, he keeps those intimate moments between you and him; no body else. But, he can’t help but keep a naughty photo tucked in his wallet; something he can look at while he is away on missions.

Ex: John had you kneeled before him, his hand wrapped around your jawline; forcing you to look up at him, his warm cum dripping down your flushed cheeks. His breathing was still heavy, but you could hear him fumble with his desk. “You look absolutely divine, sweet girl.” He praised you, holding up an old film camera. “Smile for me, baby.”

Price absolutely LOVES eating your pussy, this man in the definition of being pussy drunk. He loves the way you unravel for him, the way your juices taste of his tongue, how your thighs tighten around his face. He loves nothing more than to tuck his face between your legs and lick on you for HOURS.

Ex: Sleeping soundly, you felt the blankets being pulled off you; your bare legs being greeted by the uncomfortable cold air. Your eyes fluttered open, heart racing at the sight in front of you. Price was laying on his stomach, his face just inches away from your sheer panties. “Good morning, Princess.” He mumbled, sliding your panties to the side; eyes flickering at the sight of your puffy and wet lips. Without hesitation, John tucks his face between your legs, groaning in satisfaction as his tongue swiped along your folds. “Taste so good, Sweetie.”

John isn’t a huuuuge fan of blowjobs, he prefers to feast on the heaven between your legs ;) BUT, he will never say no when you tuck yourself beneath his desk; staring up at him with innocent eyes as you take his cock in your pretty little mouth.

Ex: Looking up, Price puffs on his cigar; staring at you with an expression full of questions. “Need something, Princess?” He asked, resulting in a sweet giggle from you. Walking towards Price, you push his chair back and lowered yourself onto your knees. “Wanna make you feel good, Daddy.” You whined, hiding underneath his desk. Price tossed his head back, placing his cigar on the ashtray by his desk. “Fuckin hell, Lovely.” He groaned at the feeling of your nimble fingers touching his throbbing cock.

The embodiment of authority kink. Price hates holding his title over people, but you? He gets OFF on using his power against you, absolutely yearns to hear your velvety voice call him Sir or Captain— practically combust when those words leave your mouth.

Ex: Price grasped your hips, pulling you into his lap; his erection pressing warm friction against your needy cunt. You whined and pouted, playfully pressing your body against his lap; eager to feel that throbbing dick plunge inside of you. “Mm, I need it.. So bad.” You pleaded, barely able to get the words past your lips. John shook his head, giving you a light tap on the ass. “Say my name, lovey.” He nibbled on your ear lobe; his taunting chuckle joining afterwards. “Please, Captain. I need it sososo bad.”

An absolute KING when it comes to aftercare. Draws a nice warm bath for you, fills the water with bubbles and soaking salts to relax your tense muscles. Massages your back, and gently plays with your hair while you relax.

Ex: John left you laying comfortably on the bed as he excused himself to the bath; the sound of running water already calming your body down. Before you knew it, John was walking back into the bathroom— carefully lifting your bruised body into his arms. “Cmon, love. Let’s get you in the bath..” He mumbled, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head. Your cold body slipped into the warm water, a short whine coming off your lips as you looked up at Price— loving and admiration clear in your eyes. Gently cupping the water, John splashed it over your back; tracing his fingers along your spine. “Just relax, I’ll take care of you.”

Hates wasting money on condoms. Absolutely despises it 🙄. He rather fill you up with his cum, keeping his dick stuffed inside your throbbing walls— with the pure intentions of making you a mommy.

Ex: Price had you positioned on top of him, his hands wrapped around your waist; guiding you up and down on his cock— your breast bouncing with every thrust. “Shit, you feel good.” He grunted, his balls tightened as his release approached. “Mm, want me to fill you up? Pump your belly full of my cum, make you a mommy.” He teased between heavy groan, receiving an exaggerated whine from your lips; nodding frantically at his words.

His favorite position is definitely cowgirl. Price is such a tits > ass type of guy, absolutely loves watching your tits jiggle as you bounce on his cock— fucking LOVESSSS leaving marks and bruises all over your sensitive nipples 🤭.

Ex: His hands were latched on your hips, finger like bruises already burned into your soft skin. Price stared at you in awe, watching your round and full breast jiggle everytime you bounced on his cock. “So pretty, Princess. My pretty little girl.” He mumbled, latching his lips around your nipples; gently rolling the sensitive bud between his teeth. You whimpered and whined, feeling his lips suck and pull on your nipple, his teeth moving towards the soft skin of your tit; leaving deep bite marks in your flesh.

Quickies? Hates them; BUT will settle if he’s pent up. He rather have you begging for his mercy for hours on end, then pulling out it a quick orgasm in ten minutes. He loves watching you twitch and shudder at his touch, begging him for more with a fucked out facial expression… Feels like quickies don’t truly make up for the love he has for you.

Ex: Price had you pushed against his desk, one leg resting on the wooden tabletop; the other keeping you steady as he pounded into you. John was still wearing his uniform, his cock only poking out through the zip of his pants. “Fuck, Baby. Wait till I come home, I’m gonna treat this little pussy like it’s the last thing on earth.” He grunted out, quickly chasing his high before his men walked through the doors. His breathing was heavy and labored, fingers latched into the flesh of your— pulling it back into him with each thrust. “Cmon, Princess. Gotta cum for me, make it quick.” He guided.

♡ HIII! I hope you enjoyed this set of headcannons! Please, checkout my masterlist (at the beginning <3) if you’re interested in anymore of my world.

♡ My request are open, if anyone would like a specific character or theme! Please, feel free to request anything :)

♡Anyway! Comments, likes, and reblogs are deeply appreciated <33

#captain john price #cod price #cod mwii #captain price headcanons #captain price x you #modern warfare 2 #support your writers #john price headcanons #barry sloane #headcanon #fanfic

[monsterfuker3000]

I Crave Your Taste ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

HEY so like uhhhh it’s been a while bc I’ve been being an absolute girl queen pussy BOSS and I’m essentially running my golf course alone like 60 hours a week so I haven’t had much free time 🥲 ANYWAY I present to you uhhh this!

CW: reader is hit on by a creep, punching, brief mention of blood, dom!ish?reader, sub!ish?Leon, fem reader, mf uhhh yearning, pining, uhh some longing and desiring, a little languishing (Leon is stupid,) p in v sex, unprotected sex (DO NOT DO THAT,) Leon uses every pet name in the book but that’s cuz he loves you, man I can’t think of anything else I’m writing this on the clock. If I missed anything let me know pls my angels mwah!

Word count: 2,145 words of Leon drowning in misunderstanding trope

“Oh my God, are you fucking jealous?”

Fuck that guy. Leon couldn’t stand him. The way he pawed at you, the way he stared at you like you were something to fucking eat. He swears he could kill the bastard. He gripped the glass in his hand hard, wondering absentmindedly if he might break it but not able to bring himself to care. Why did you have to come to this bar with that guy? Why didn’t you want to go with him?

You’d told him you were going on a date this morning in the break room of the station when the two of you ran into each other in search of coffee. He faltered, almost dropping his coffee cup, but he knew he had no right to say anything. The two of you were best friends and had hooked up a handful of times, but it was never more serious than that, not that Leon didn’t want it to be. He loved you desperately, he had from the very beginning, but how could he tell you that? You were perfect, beautiful in every way and he knew he was lucky to even have this small part of you. There was no way he was messing that up by spilling his guts for you and potentially driving you away, so beyond your close friendship, he kept you at arm’s length.

That’s precisely why you were going on this date. You didn’t like the guy all that much, but you were head over heels for Leon and he certainly didn’t seem to feel the same way, so the other man was a convenient distraction. Every time you tried for some intimacy that wasn’t sexual, Leon would seem to lose interest. He wouldn’t hold you after sex the way that you liked. It’s not that he would skip aftercare altogether; he’d get you cleaned up and situated to the best of his ability, but he’d either leave your apartment right after or wouldn’t touch you.

It’s not that he didn’t want to hold you after sex. God, he’d give anything. But he knew that the second he had you in his arms in any way that was that tender, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut or his heart steady. He wasn’t risking that.

The two of you were at an impasse, and that’s what landed you at this bar at 10 o’clock on a Friday. The guy you were on a date with was okay, what was his name? James? Jake? Whatever. He was impossibly boring and a little gross, so you didn’t feel the need to memorize his name since you didn’t think you’d be seeing him again. He was also wildly drunk and had his arm around you, squeezing you a little tighter than you thought was necessary, but the date seemed to be winding to a close, so you figured you’d have your personal space back shortly. You paid your tab (there was no way you were letting this guy spend any money on you,) and turned to your date to say goodbye.

“Well,” what was his name? Better just skip it. “I had a lot of fun, but I think I’m going to head out. I’ll call you, okay?” You absolutely would not call him. He stood, swaying a bit.

“Come on, little lady,” he leered at you. “Don’t you want to come back to my place?” Fuck no, you didn’t, but you tried to stay polite.

“No thank you, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?” You turned again to leave but he grabbed your arm, pulling you in close to whisper in your ear.

“You really think you get to just leave now?” Your blood ran cold. No fucking way. You tried to wrench your arm away but he held fast. “Don’t fight me on this, kitten, you know you owe me.” He leaned in even closer to flick his tongue against your earlobe, nearly making you gag. Then he was gone. What?

He lay on the ground in front of you now, hands covering a bloody nose someone had delivered him. Who? Your eyes shot up and locked on Leon’s, a soft expression on his face as he looked at you despite his bloodied knuckles. When did he get here? Leon turned away from you to look back down at the man, his expression changing to icy in an instant.

“If you ever touch her again, I swear to God I’ll kill you with my bare hands,” he spat. The man scrambled to his feet and darted through the crowd that had started to form, rushing through the front entrance of the bar full tilt. Leon looked back at you. “My car, now,” he snapped, holding his hand out for you but giving you the choice to take it or not. You did.

He helped you into the passenger seat of his Jeep, closing the door behind you before getting in the driver’s seat himself. “I’m taking you to my place,” he told you, leaving little room for argument. You nodded.

The ride back to his apartment was quiet, both of you not saying anything from when you climbed into his car to when you plopped down on a chair in his tiny kitchen. You watched him cross his kitchen to the little sink, wetting a rag to dab at his now scabbed-over knuckles. He winced, and you stood from the kitchen chair to take the rag from him and help him.

He stayed silent and let you wipe away the blood. Two knuckles had split but not badly enough to need stitches, which you told him. He thanked you as you used a paper towel to dry off his hands. You hadn’t looked him in the eyes once during the entire process, and hoped he didn’t notice. He did.

“Why?” He asked you. You knew what he meant, but pretended you didn’t.

“Why what?”

“Why him? Why not me?”

You sighed. He knew damn well why, which you told him. He shot back that he definitely did not. You relented.

“Because,” you mumbled, “I want something that you won’t give me. I figured I wouldn’t find it in him, but I’m not going to get it from you, either.”

He was still confused. What in the world were you talking about? You saw him tilt his head to the side, his brows furrowed. You sighed.

“I love you, Leon, I have for a long time. I know you don’t love me back and I understand that, I’m okay with it, that’s why I’m looking for it elsewhere.”

“What?” He asked, eyes wide. You were frustrated now.

“I love you! I love you, okay?” You threw your hands up, tossing the bloody rag in the sink. “How many different ways do you want me to tell you, Lee? I’m fucking tired of-“

“Oh my God,” he cut you off. You were annoyed before, but now you were pissed.

“‘Oh my God,’ what, Leon? What, are you disgusted or something? Jesus Christ-“

He cut you off again, this time not by speaking over you but by pressing his lips to yours. Huh? He pulled away, your eyes still wide.

“I love you too.”

He loves you too. He loves you too. Holy shit. You grab the sides of his face and pull him in for another kiss, taking him by surprise. He let his hands fall naturally at your waist, trying to seem nonchalant, but he fisted desperately at your shirt and moaned high in his throat when you sunk your teeth into his bottom lip. He pulled away, eyes lingering on the string of spit connecting your mouths before he ducked his head to place wet, needy kisses to your throat.

“Please, honey,” he begged between kisses, his hands wandering. “Please let me touch you. Promise I’ll make you feel so good, please.” You pulled him away from you by his hair, and he whined pathetically.

“You want to touch me?” You asked, one eyebrow raised. He nodded. “Get on your knees and beg.”

You expected him to protest, but he didn’t miss a beat. He knelt down in front of you lightning-quick, hands on your thighs and the most desperate look in his eyes you’d ever seen. Perfect.

“Baby, please, I’ll give anything, I’ll do anything, just please let me touch you, let me taste you, I’m desperate, honey,” he pleaded.

“Bedroom,” you ordered, and once again he obeyed. He stood and slung you partway over his shoulder, making you laugh before making the short trip to his bedroom and throwing you down on the bed. He did nothing else, though, seemingly waiting for more instructions. You obliged. “Undress me.”

He nodded once and began to undress you, starting slow but getting sloppier and more desperate as he struggled with the button on your jeans. You took pity on him and undid the button and the zipper, allowing him to pull your jeans and panties off in one motion and throw them to the floor without any further interference. He reached to dip his fingers into your pussy but you grabbed his wrist, making him whine.

“So quiet until now, what happened?” You teased. He whined again.

“Wanna touch you, please,” he begged. You shook your head.

“I’m completely naked and you’re fully dressed. Do you really think that’s fair, Lee?” You questioned. He shook his head. “Undress yourself then.”

He began to take his own clothes off, somehow more desperate that he’d been when he’d undressed you. You managed to stifle a laugh when you heard the tear of fabric, wondering what he’d just put a hole through in his rush. You slid off the bed and stood when he finished, pushing him to lie down instead before climbing on top of him, straddling him just below his cock. He whined, reaching out for you. Part of you wanted to deny him, to punish him for all he’d put you through these past few months, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You relented, allowing him to grab at your waist and lift you up as you used your hand to line his cock up with your entrance before he pushed you back down, sheathing himself completely.

He threw his head back into the pillows beneath him, golden hair strewn everywhere and sticking a bit to his already sweaty forehead. His teeth were gritted, pretty blue eyes pricking with tears as he squeezed them shut, fingers digging into your hips. He cried out in a way that could have been pathetic if you didn’t love it so much.

You gave him a moment to regain his composure as you sat atop him, but the second his heavy panting began to even out, you lifted your hips and slammed them back down, causing him to cry out again.

“Fuck, baby, feels so good,” he moaned, lifting his hips to meet you in the middle of every thrust. As the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, he circled your clit with one thumb, trying desperately to keep up some semblance of a rhythm.

You ground against him with every thrust and were worked up enough physically and emotionally to know you weren’t going to last long.

“Lee, Lee I’m gonna cum,” you panted.

“Oh, honey, please cum on me, I wanna feel you squeeze me, feels so fucking good,” he rambled, his hips stuttering a bit. He was close too.

The circles around your clit became more sloppier and more desperate. Leon was trying like hell to get you to cum before him because he knew he wasn’t going to last.

“Come on, my pretty girl, cum for me, yeah? Please, please cum, I want it so bad, sweet thing,” he whined. A particularly sharp thrust finally sent you over the edge.

The rhythmic clenching of your pussy around him sent him over as well; he soon followed you, spilling into you with a cry. You rode him through both of your orgasms, finally lifting yourself off him when the aftershocks died down. He whined at the overstimulation and the feeling of his own cum dripping out of you onto his stomach. You laid next to him with a huff, your legs exhausted.

For the very first time, Leon pulled you into his arms and squeezed you tightly as you lay beside him, one hand rubbing your back gently. You pressed your forehead to his chest, allowing yourself to enjoy the genuine intimacy he was finally affording you, but the feeling was cut short by another more unpleasant one that made you grimace.

“Lee, I gotta get up. Your cum is oozing out onto the sheets.

“Stay here for just a few more minutes, sweet girl,” he replied sleepily. “I’ll help you change the sheets later.”

YEEEAAAAH I LOVE MISUNDERSTANDING TROPE

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #re4 leon #leon kennedy reader #re leon #re2 leon #smut #spotify #resident evil #original writing #resident evil 4 #resident evil leon #resident evil 2 #agentkennedy

[sugarcoated-lame]

Into The Woods

Joel Miller x Reader drabble

*This is pretty much straight up filth so 18+, minors please do not interact!!! you will be blocked! (:

Summary: You and Joel get some much needed alone time while on a hunt in the woods

or i just needed to get out my thots about Joel fucking you against a tree (:

Warnings: smut, unprotected piv, outdoor sx, just me being absolutely feral for Joel Miller (: <3, takes place after the events of the first game so like a mild spoiler ? at the very beginning if you haven't watched the finale, but otherwise spoiler free

WC: 900

a/n: this is my first attempt at writing for Joel so i'm sorry if it sucks, pls be kind <3

dedicating this to the lovely @sebsxphia for always indulging me and my Joel thots <3

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It's been a few weeks since permanently settling in Jackson. A reprieve after months spent on the road with Joel, escorting the 14-year-old girl who had become family to you both, across the country. Months spent in close quarters, the three of you just trying to survive.

Even now, in your new home, you and Joel don't get a ton of alone time living with Ellie. There are nights in your shared bedroom of course, but the walls are thin and you're never able to be as loud or uninhibited as either one of you would like to be when you're both busy worrying about waking Ellie who's sleeping in the next room.

Nights where Joel’s thrusts are stilted, hips stuttering against yours, his rough hand covering your mouth to quiet your moans that he oh-so-badly wants to hear. So many nights wishing that you could give in fully to that primal need you feel for one another, the both of you just left wanting more.

It's lots of lingering touches in the daytime, feeling the intense warmth of Joel’s brown eyes burning into you almost at all times as you go about your mundane day-to-day activities. You watching the way his deft fingers gently stroke the strings of the guitar that he’d fixed up and wishing they were stroking you instead. The tension between you thick and palpable, the two of you craving each other immensely.

That tension finally snaps when you and Joel are out in the woods one warm, sunny day, outside of Jackson hunting for food. He's walking behind you, unable to pay much attention to anything but the curve of your ass in your jeans with every step you take through the desolate forest. Joel needs to have you immediately, and his calling your name in that husky Texan accent has you turning to face him in an instant.

He wastes no time lifting you up in his strong arms, dropping both of your guns to the ground—he knows there’s nobody around these woods for miles—and pressing you up against the trunk of the closest tree that stands tall next to you. A small ‘oof’ sounding from you as your back hits the hard wood, your arms moving instinctively to wrap around Joel’s shoulders, legs around his waist and he’s kissing you breathless.

It’s quick and dirty and rough, both of your jeans frantically pulled down just enough for Joel to slip inside of you in one quick thrust, knowing you’re more than wet enough because you’ve been yearning for this just as much as he has. You cry out at the stretch, burying your face in the crook of Joel’s neck as strong hands grip your thighs to hold your body up. Giving you a moment to adjust, his hips keep you pressed tightly to the bark of the tree as he ruts into you.

It’s only a matter of seconds before he’s pounding into you roughly, pulling nearly all the way out, and slamming back into your wet heat with every thrust, his cock hitting that spot inside of you that has you seeing spots in your vision and makes your toes curl. Your breathless whines and whimpers, pleas of ‘harder, Joel’ mingling in the fresh woodsy air with Joel’s deeper grunts that are right next to your ear and going straight to your core.

Joel knows you’re close when your velvety walls begin to clench around him, nearly strangling his length in a vice-like grip as the volume of your quiet cries rises into louder moans. Finally getting to hear you cry out for him the way he’s been wanting you to for so long only spurs on his movements, quickening the pace of his hips and fucking into you harder.

Rough hands grip the soft flesh of your thighs so tight you’re sure they’ll leave bruises. Joel’s lips trail kisses along the skin of your neck as one of his hands moves to bring his fingers to your clit, the calloused pads rubbing tight circles over the sensitive nerves. You cling onto him for dear life, nails digging into the strong muscles of his shoulders and thighs squeezing tighter around his hips.

“Wanna hear you, darlin’. Let go for me. Can be as loud as you want for me out here, baby.”

Joel’s words have you coming around him with a sound that’s a mix between a moan and a scream, your walls clenching impossibly tighter around him and triggering his own high. Joel thrusting one, two, three more times before his hips still against yours, pressed as deep as possible inside of you as he spills into you with a deep, throaty groan.

He fucks the both of you through it, your oversensitive walls still fluttering around him, Joel’s thrusts slowing and only coming to a stop when he’s fully spent.

He keeps you in his hold, head resting on your shoulder as your fingers card through his thick, graying curls. The both of you panting heavily as you come down from your highs, breathless words whispered against your sweat-shining skin.

“Did so good for me, baby girl.”

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idk what this was, the Joel thots have taken over my brain like the cordyceps virus and turned me into a feral monster (:

Thank you for reading! x

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#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us #the last of us imagine #joel the last of us #tlou #tlou imagine #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #my writing #the last of us 2 #tlou2 #joel miller one shot #joel miller drabble

[mysaintkitten]

Okay here's something: so reader is in love with Emma just cause of their talks but they think she's married to John like everyone else in town does so they hate him and thinks "oh I could treat her so much better" so they confess to Emma and asks her to run away with them.

Super dramatic I know, but I love my girl, but feel free to totally ignore this lol. Love your work!

although kitten is my main wife .. cillian looked absolutely gorgeous as emma. the brown eyes and brown hair ?? hello ?? also thank you so much !!

Lonesome | Emma Skillpa x fem!reader

prompt: emma isn’t being treated right by john, and you’re sick of it (NO MINORS!!!)

WARNINGS: none really, just fluff i think lol

word count: 1.2k

“milk or sugar?” emma asks from the kitchen,

“neither, please.” you respond, fidgeting with your hands in front of you.

you weren’t able to be alone with emma very often, you wanted to make sure you didn’t fuck anything up.

emma returns with two cups in hand and a spoon, smiling at you softly.

“for you,” she whispers, placing the cup in front of you, “for me.”

she flattens out her dress before sitting across from you at the table, “so, how’ve you been? it’s been a while since we’ve chatted.”

your eyes shift from your cup to her face, “oh, i’ve been alright. things have been stressful, but nothing i can’t manage. how about you?”

she picks up her spoon and begins to stir her tea, “things have been a bit mundane recently, but johns always keeping me busy with the housework.” she laughs

you smile at her laugh, but hearing her speak about john upset you. you know it shouldn’t, but you just had a deep inkling that he didn’t treat her right. and now look. she’s saying he doesn’t even help out with housework.

you lift your cup to your lips and take a small sip, “how’s john been?”

she doesn’t respond right away and breaks eye contact briefly before pulling herself together to respond

“he’s been good. busy with work,” she says, “i feel like i barely see him.”

so not only does he not help out, he doesn’t even give her the time of day? sickening. how could he have such a kind, compassionate, gorgeous wife, and not appreciate her? you think about emma, all alone, yearning for some sort of intimacy, affection, hell, even just attention. you’d give it to her. you’d give it all to her. but she’s a married woman, and you doubt she even swings that way.

you snap yourself out of your thoughts to respond, “must be hard,” you start, “i’m sorry john doesn’t .. you know .. give you the attention you need ..”

you watch emma’s face, she looks upset.

you attempt to backtrack, “i’m sorry if i went too far it’s just .. i hate to see someone like you being under appreciated.”

just when you think you’ve dug yourself into a deeper hole, she brings her eyes up to you again,

“someone like me?”

you swallow, how do you word this without making her uncomfortable?

“you’re just .. so sweet, and giving. and whenever i hear you talk about john it’s like he’s always .. not doing enough for you.”

she takes another sip from her tea and stands up, “he does enough. he’s just busy. he works. it’s how he shows he cares.”

emma heads to the kitchen and you trail behind her, “he shows he cares about you by neglecting you?”

you’re distain for john is becoming more and more evident by your tone and word choice. but to be fair, you’re not the only one that feels this way. everyone thinks john is kind of strange, but him being a shitty husband on top of that isn’t him making him look very good as a person.

she turns her body to you, her face displaying some sort of negative emotion that you can’t quite pinpoint. anger? sadness? both?

“it’s not neglect. i’m not a child.”

“no, you aren’t a child, but you’re a woman with needs. and he’s not fulfilling those needs, is he?” you question, she remains silent as her bottom lip quivers slightly, “when was the last time he held you? touched you?” you ask softly

as those words leave your mouth, she begins to cry. instantly you feel a pang of guilt.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry ..” you whisper, rubbing her back soothingly, “its just .. it upsets me, emma.”

she sniffles and wipes her eyes, “no, no, it’s not what you said .. well, it is ..” she mumbles, “i’m so lonely.”

hearing her mutter those words made you feel awful. this poor woman, you don’t even want to think about how long she’s been feeling this way for.

she chuckles weakly, “i can’t even remember the last time he kissed me.”

you feel an impulse pop into your head, before you can contemplate if it’s appropriate or not it’s already leaving your mouth,

“can i kiss you?”

her tears slowly stop and her cheeks blush slightly, “what?” she whispers, clearly taken aback

your hearts racing exponentially faster, “can i .. uh .. can i kiss you?”

she takes a moment to respond, you’re convinced you’ve gone too far and she’s thinking up a kind way to ask you to leave,

“yes.”

you’re in disbelief, “really?”

“yes, you can kiss me.” she repeats

after receiving her approval, you gather up the courage to plant a small peck onto her lips. you give her another and she kisses you back, bringing her body a bit closer to yours.

the pecks shift into deep kisses, her hunger for intimacy was apparent in her body language.

she runs her hands along your hips, wrapping them around you just to hold you close.

you detach from her lips and bring them to her neck, kissing her skin softly, she moans quietly.

as you kiss her neck, you bring your hand between her legs, wanting to take this a bit further,

“no, stop” she whines, you pull your hand away and remove your head from her neck, immediately you regret your decision,

“i’m sorry, emma, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” you apologize

“it’s okay .. it’s okay .. maybe we could just-“ she starts, “never mind, it sounds dumb.”

you cup her face gently, “no, talk to me, please.”

“could we just .. talk? and kiss?” she asks, seemingly embarrassed by the request, you just smile,

“that sounds nice,” you coo, “but, what about john? what if he sees?”

she shrugs, “he’s been busy, he won’t see. i promise.”

she leads you up to her bedroom and the two of you lay in her bed, kissing, giggling, talking. as the sun begins to set, emma pulls out some wine.

she pours you and her a drink, and the two of you get undeniably tipsy.

as you kiss her with your hand on her thigh, the alcohol seems to cloud your better judgement. you whisper to her, “run away with me.”

she hums, “how do i explain that john?”

“he doesn’t need an explanation.”

she smiles and sighs before leaning in to kiss you again, “i’ll have to think about it.”

as you continue to drink throughout the night, she gets bit handsy, but no direct contact was made, just needy little touches. you allow her to touch within her limits, she’s clearly desperate for more, but she’s not ready to give it all up tonight. and that’s okay.

you fell asleep in her bed, wrapped up in her arms, and wake up with the bed empty. you sit up, a bit upset, but you notice a note sitting on the nightstand, it reads;

thank you for giving me a wonderful night, i’m sorry i couldn’t be here when you woke up. next time, i’ll make you breakfast in bed.

- emma

you grin at the note, and you grin even harder at her alluding to a “next time.”

you’re looking forward to doing this again.

——

i think this was mostly my subconscious talking .. emma skillpa if you’re reading this i want to kiss you

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #emma skillpa #emma skillpa x reader #peacock #hope y’all like this #:)