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violetlunette · 2 months

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Runaway_Chapter 3_Lilia's Part

Summary: Silver has run away. Who's at fault?

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Ao3

Notes: *I had to split this as Tumblr no long takes long posts, I guess. *Twst spoilers for Chapter/Book 7

For the longest time Lilia felt numb. Thinking back, he must have been in shock.

He didn’t even realize what was happening until he was standing before Queen Malefica, the Queen of Briar Valley and the woman who took him in as an orphan.

She stared at him with the same accusing eyes she had 400 years ago after Malenore’s death, injecting emotions of regret and sorrow into his shocked mind and bringing him to the present.

The Queen demanded an explanation to what happened and how Lilia could allow Malleus to blot over.

The accusation reminded of the events outside of Silver and his feelings of shame overrided the emptiness Silver’s departure had left for the moment.

Despite—or maybe because of--what he was going through, Lilia was more than willing to take the blame for it all, as it was his fault.

Lilia failed to take note of how distraught Malleus was over his leaving. Then, due to his weakness, the guardian was unable to stop his ward from casting the spell over the island. Who knew what consequences Brair Valley now faced due to his negligence? And what would happen to Malleus now?

However, as they were speaking, Malleus himself teleported into the room.

Almost immediately, the prince confronted his grandmother about the past and how she misled him all this time. He was so enraged Lilia worried Malleus would blot over again.

It took time, but Lilia managed to calm him, and they began to talk rationally.

Once things were settled—as much as they could between two dragons--Lilia left them alone to speak, something he was glad to to ad the world suddenly felt very heavy upon his shoulders.

He knew that he and Malleus would have to speak later, but for now...

Despite his his exhaustion, Lilia knew he had things he needed something to do, he went to inform Sebek of the situation, namely Silver’s departure. He deserved to know, after all.

Sebek was angry and distraught, breaking into tears when he heard the news. Lilia didn’t blame him.

The boys had been together for ten years and were the only companions they had around their age. They fought and argued, but they loved each other.

So, hearing that Silver left...

It took all Lilia had to stop Sebek from running blind after Silver. (He had to physically restrain the boy with several STYX officers to keep him from running out.)

While the old fae sympathized, running off wouldn’t do anyone good, not even Silver. Instead, he told Sebek they should focus on other things, reminding him of Malleus—who was in a very fragile state—and how he would need them right now.

Thus, he convinced Sebek to help him with the dorm duties. While not vice-warden anymore, Lilia knew the duties. And they distracted him from the emotions swirling in his chest.

Or at least, he had hoped they would.

“Augh!” Lilia nearly toppled forward.

He was in his bedroom now—if he could still call it that—his only refuge from the world outside.

Inside, on the other hand…

Lilia hugged himself, as if trying to restrain himself as the gut-wrenching feelings tore the man from the inside out.

Now that there were no distractions, Lilia was forced to come face-to-face with his anguish, even as he tried to push it back.

“Uggh!”

His heart had become an angry beast, clawing, tearing at his insides. It shook the bars of its cage as it screamed its agony with every beat.

Silver was gone. Silver was gone. His Silver was gone. His son was gone--!!

A growl slipped between his fangs, which gnawed at his lip. The cute brow that Lilia was so proud of wrinkled as the white of his eyes turned as red as the irises.

“Arrgh! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he cried, water rolling down his cheeks in barrels.

Lilia only felt this way once in his life and he hoped—prayed--to never feel this way again. Sadly, it seemed the heavens had ignored this prayer and kicked him in the face on top of it.

He bent forward in half, fists as his side, ready to smash something, anything.

“Fuck!”

He wanted to yell. He wanted to scream. He wanted to break something. He wanted to break everything!

His hands shook.

No. He didn’t want any of that.

He wanted his son back.

“Auugh!” Lilia kicked one of his boot across his room, his break down having come while he was preparing to change.

The bedroom was nearly empty as he had gotten rid of most of his stuff in preparation for his trip. However, Lilia had his luggage brought back from the carriage as he wasn’t able to leave at the time for a multitude of reasons. Most of it remained in the suitcases, however, ready to be moved again.

The room was dark as Lilia hadn’t bothered to turn on a lamp and the only light from outside was a dark gray. Somehow, it matched his mood.

The boot into the pile of his Diasomnia uniform where it landed with a soft plop against the wall.

Around him, the world spun and wavered, causing Lilia to feel sick as his head pounded in grief, hammering the same words over and over again:

Silver was gone. Silver was gone—and it was all his fault.

He pressed his palms to his face, wet from all the tears.

“Hick, hick...! Fuck!”

His voice hitched a notch as Lilia collapsed backward into the bed, unable to stand anymore. He then moved his hands to his hair, nearly ripping it out as tears wet his pillow.

“Fuck…” ‘How did this get all twisted?’ Lilia was the one supposed to leave.

He was the one meant to disappear so everyone could be happy. He was the one meant to carry the burden of the past.

It wasn’t supposed to be Silver.

The man sobbed harder as he curled into a ball, his form messing up the silk sheets.

“Dammit…!” he cursed. “How did I screw up so bad?”

It shouldn’t have turned out like this.

Silver was meant to be happy with Malleus and Sebek while growing up to live his dream.

Silver was supposed to remain, to live life free from Lilia and the imaginary burden the boy placed on himself.

He was never supposed to learn the truth and get his heart broken.

“Silver…” The name of his boy came out in a ragged sob.

‘How could this have happened?’ Well, it was all his fault. He knew that much. If he hadn’t lied, then maybe none of this would have happened.

‘Or maybe he would have left sooner.’ Silver did have a bad habit of doing that when he was upset. Lilia thought he had broken that habit after he ran off into the storm all those years ago.

Now that he thought about it, the circumstances weren’t that different back then.

Instinctively, Lilia cupped his ear and traced the point.

That night started innocent enough; Lilia had woken Silver from his nap to ready him for supper when Silver suddenly asked why their ears were different. Lilia thought it was best to rip off the band-aid as quick as possible. He had been wrong. Silver was so shocked that he ran away and disappeared.

Just like now. Only this time...

Lilia rolled over, pulling tighter into himself.

“I’m such an idiot.”

He never planned to tell Silver the truth, or anyone. A part of him knew that he should have, as Silver had a right to know about his his history, but how could he?

How could Lilia devastate Silver that way? That kind boy who often took the weight of the world upon his shoulders? Who would sacrifice everything for those he loved? That gentle soul who believed the best of everyone, including Lilia? That sweet boy, whose smile meant so much to him...

Silver's broken expression immediately replaced the smiling child in his mind.

“Father, I…”

That moment in the dream was Lilia’s final memory of his son. That moment he failed to recognize Silver’s pain. That moment he failed--

Another sob wracked Lilia’s body.

‘I lost so many things in my life, but I swore Silver wouldn’t be one of them.’ He wasn’t sure when he made that vow. It could have been after Silver disappeared for the first time as a baby, or maybe it was before that.

Not that it mattered. As of now, these were just empty feelings and words.

Silver was gone, and Lilia had no idea where the human fled to. He didn’t even have a direction to follow.

“Father! Let’s stay together, forever, okay?”

A sense of helplessness washed over him once more and Lilia’s wails ceased. He felt himself go numb as fatigue overtook him, hopelessness filling him.

Silver was gone.

Silver was gone, and nothing was right with the world.

And it was all his fault.

A/N: Well, you all tune in for pain, so here’s the pain. Malleus is in the next chapter, so stay tuned.

Lilia Notes: *Lilia's reaction was troublesome at first. When I started writing the scene I assumed he would remain hopeful and would try to go after Silver right away, like Rook in Chapter 6, but it didn't feel quite right. It was more like that what I wanted rather than what Lilia would actually do. So, I rewrote it and had Lilia break down, which felt more accurate.

#twst #twisted wonderland #mine #twst silver #silver twst #silver vanrouge #silver twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #lilia twisted wonderland #lilia twst #twst diasomnia #Twst Runaway #Twst Fanfic

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greatpawtender · 7 months

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same anon lol. follow up from my previous ask (I started thinking about oz and the original team more):

augh. Thinking about laurent genuinely trying to connect with makoto and failing. Thinking about him watching abbie and cynthia connect with makoto effortlessly, and feeling left out. Thinking about him talking to oz about it, and realising that oz knows nothing about makoto at all. laurent getting angry, because even he knows makoto better, and suddenly feels responsible for him. imagining laurent blaming oz, blaming shi-won because they "made" him this way, even though by now he's responsible for his own actions. I'm imagining shi-won specifically calling him out on this, because she's been there the longest. how even though he suffered, at some point he has to accept that his decisions were his own. and that arguably, makoto was put through far, far worse things than he was.

laurent empathising with makoto more and more and starting to feel kind of angry on his behalf, but realising that by now there's very little he can do... he can resent the remaining members of the original team confidence all he wants, but they've been so good to him. they're old friends but they're also walking wounds. he can blame shi-won for teaching dorothy, for bringing him to dorothy. he can blame oz for giving him makoto to work with. he can blame them, but it's not going to change anything. shi-won at least stuck by his side, so she's easier to forgive. oz is harder to forgive, even if he gave up everything for dorothy, for laurent. laurent is splitting hairs here, because he still blames them less than he blames himself.

I think once laurent has this realisation, he doesn't really know what to do with himself. he still does cons and stuff because he probably feels like anything else would be boring, but I think he now kind of wants to shoot oz (not shi-won, because like I said, her sticking directly by his side all those years makes it easier for him to "forgive" her). he gives himself reasons to hurt oz in these cons because he doesn't know when to quit a bad habit when he's spiralling. oz notices, but he doesn’t say anything. he does whatever laurent asks of him, because he's right. I don't think oz feels bad for laurent, however (I think he just feels bad for makoto at this point, because he's already processed most of his grief and self-loathing regarding miki).

I think oz is the type of person to mask his loneliness. he probably cares about laurent the same way two people in a jail cell care about each other. he does whatever laurent asks of him almost like a peace offering, because he's used to just playing whatever role people ask of him without question. he probably doesn't know who he is anymore, and he probably doesn't care. he'll just follow whatever laurent says because the memories he made with team confidence stick to him like old wallpaper, and he can't bring himself to peel them off. he traded one life for another, and he lost both of them.

unlike them, I imagine shi-won already made peace with her demons long ago. there's a reason she told kudo to just let his daughter go. there's a reason why she didn't get an arc to herself. I don't think she feels bad that they're going through this, but she probably tries to distract them once in a while because the one-sided tension between them is annoying to deal with.

sorry I'm a little skdjsjajfj about them

as it is, it feels to me that oz just goes along with what others want most of the time. he isn't too different from makoto in that regard orz

op how does it feel like to be the sexiest person on earth

god god god I LOVEE your thoughts about laurent theyre so incredibly great I've never seen more correct hcs than yours

laurent and oz bonding over fucking up makotos life augohfj its sad but. But. sigh

laurent empathizing with makoto and somehow relating to him now bc he realizes he kinda been through the same shit as him. but like. makoto dealt with way worse so he cant really say anything so he lashes out at the og team instead orz 😭

oz doing everything laurent asks kf him the same way makoto does too now . im going insanw now.

thanks op sorry i dont have anything to say bht please know that i fucking love all ur thoughts about this thank you so much you have opened my eyes

#AUOOHJHFJ #thank u for introducing me to laurent/oz ship too. i love old man yaoi #well tbh ive always been considering them but i never really shipped them fully bc it was awkward since everyone shipped edaurent #and i felt weird if i ship the guy with the other guy's Dad #but im not an edaurent guy anyway #i hope you edaurent shippers are thriving though #grepre #great pretender #chair rambles #ask #anon ask

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nocompromise-noregrets · 1 month

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hi so I just reread our trsb collaboration from last year and aaaaaaaaaaa it's so so good and I'm crying again even though I've read it at least five times before

I always find that there's something deeply lonely about the end of a story when all the familiar characters are dead or gone and the world is left to the next generation, but at the same time this one is still so full of joy and even though it's about the end and only vaguely describes the 100+ years in between it and the end of RotK, Arwen's life feels so rich and full of friendship and love and words cannot describe how much it makes me feel things.

And then there's all the beautiful little character details!!! Arwen wishing she could've shared her life with her mother???? The uncertainty of the twins' choice but also the "maybe there's always supposed to be one of each" and also the idea that they might stay and be the guardians of Middle Earth because it'll always be their home in a way that Valinor just isn't???? Gimli pledging to give Arwen's love to Galadriel????? EVERYTHING about the garden in Minas Tirith???? DID I MENTION THE TWINS??????? Augh. It's just. so perfect.

And of course. Hearing the wedding vows. The pledge. The bouquet. "what use would her mortal shell have for empty proximity, when their spirits are forever intertwined?" I have no words. I cannot possibly describe the emotions this is evoking in me.

Ok I will shut up now but ONE MORE THING. The second to last paragraph? Makes me sob. So much. It's so unbelievably beautiful and well expressed and I love it deeply with my entire being.

aaaaaaaaa! thank you SO MUCH, my lovely! I so enjoyed working with you on that one and I'm just thrilled that you like it so much <333333333 it was one of those that just kind of wrote itself, once it got going, and it went off in all manner of directions I wasn't quite expecting (Gimli was a particular surprise XD although I have to confess the twins were deliberate, as they always are with me :D ) I've been sort of circling Arwen and Celebrían and the twins for a long time (including all three TRSBs I've done, in one way or another) and I feel like I'm getting closer to them, although still not quite close enough to write the twins-make-their-choice fic I've been trying to do for ages. (nearly ready to write a reunion in Valinor, because that absolutely is the endgame, but the actual thinking and considering and dithering and finally coming to a decision is still eluding me)...anyway, I'm so delighted it's stuck with you and thank you so very much for letting me know, you've pretty much made my year. <333333333

(and if anyone else wants to read 5k of Arwen at Cerin Amroth contemplating her life, right at the end of it, and see some utterly beautiful art, it's here: I Will Be With You Always)

Her own reunion draws ever closer, in the place where the spirits of Men go, the place unknown to the Elves; at long last she will leave behind half of her heritage for ever. It has always been with her, even after she made her choice, it has stayed with her to the end of her days, but now it will leave her at last, or she will leave it. It is time for her to make that last sundering, to join her uncle and all of the cousins she never knew and turn her back on her closest family for ever. She has thought about this moment, contemplated it, turned it over in her mind, many times over the years, and since Aragorn has been gone, it has occupied her thoughts more and more. She has always thought that she would know when the time came, and now she is certain that it is drawing ever closer. She can almost hear his voice, that dear, dear sound, dearer to her than any other, singing the Lay of Lúthien just as he had on that evening so long ago when first they met, calling her home to him at last. He has been her hope for so long, the hope of Middle-Earth for longer - the twins called him ‘Estel’ all his life, although everyone else, once he was grown, used his proper name or called him ‘Strider’, and once he was King those who did not know him called him ‘Elessar’; but the twins, of course, always did things their way, and though he was the high hope of all free peoples, for the twins, Arwen thinks, he was their own hope, though they dressed it up in teasing banter. They could not defeat the Enemy on their own, she knows they knew this, and she thinks they knew, also, that if anyone could, it would be Aragorn - Estel, named by his mother because she knew it too.

#lotr #arwen #aragorn/arwen #lotr fanfiction #lotr fanfic #lord of the rings fanfiction #lord of the rings fanfic #trsb #trsb2023 #wheeeee thank you so much! <333333 #my writing #lotr fanart #lord of the rings fanart

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yxstxrdrxxm · 3 months

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As those of you are curious, while our beloved matchmakers are busy for the entire week to speak to our clients, this is what has been happening behind the scenes...

"I see. It seems that I made a mistake trusting someone like you."

The weeks leading up to Valentine's should've proceeded smoothly. It truly, truly should've. He had hoped that by some miracle, they would be aware to try and not commit anything so idiotic.

But of course, he knew that this was not possible. After all, the one who's tied to this mess was laying by his feet, acting like the world has wronged them with the amount of bruises and hits they've retained from his bare hands.

Such a farce, he thinks. Why would they do that if they knew it was wrong?

"I thought I made it clear to you, mr. L██," he tutted, grabbing their hair to pull them up to his face. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't say a soul to anyone of what goes on here. After all, that was what you've signed. Why are you turning around and saying all those things to everyone unaffiliated, hm?"

"I'm sick of working like this, mister Boss," he heard them answer, scowling at him in response. "D— augh— do you understand the pain we go through, being your goddamn matchmakers?"

"I'm well aware. And I trust that you've dealt with some who tried to come near me, no? So why are you complaining?"

"Cupid's literally being worked to death," Eros reasoned, but the grip on her neck was enough to have her sputtering out blood and gasping for air. "They— they're new— they can't t- ugh— take the load we could. You know this."

He chuckled. Of course he did, but he had another reason.

"They've grown to be able to tolerate it, Mr. Eros," he told the latter, making sure that his grip stayed firm despite his attempts to get away. "In fact, I think I'll keep them when their contract is up. It has been quite amusing to see them scurry around and about."

He knew what goes on between them. They were friends, and he knew exactly on how to use that against Eros. And like a fish, Eros's eyes widened as he began to struggle even more.

Pathetic.

"Who knows? If they proved themselves to be trustworthy enough, they might even be able to get the job you have," he added, his lips curving to a smile. "After all, those dead bodies won't get cleaned and stuffed by itself, Eros. I'm sure they'll make a decent delivery girl."

"You— you wouldn't."

"Hah, I will. After all, you've grown far too rusty for me to use."

Tossing Eros away, he heard their head hit the pavement as he watched him struggle to breathe. His body could barely take it, and he relished the fact.

Employing them all those years ago, back when he had to deal with almost meeting death's door, was the right choice.

"Look at you," he tutted, walking over to the writhing matchmaker. Raising his leg, he placed his foot down on the side of his head, digging his heels into the bruise.

"You've grown so weak. What happened to the Eros I've met, hm? The one who fought tooth and nail to not be like the body bags in Enkanomiya? Don't tell me you've grown too frail to fight."

Eros hissed and grabbed his leg, but he grimaced when he simply kicked his hand off like it was nothing.

"What a shame," he murmured, pulling up his phone to check a certain page.

What a fool.

"It seems that the promise you made for our clients will become nothing now."

Tucking his phone, he grabbed his gun and aimed it at Eros's body.

"Say goodbye to your new 'friends' for me."

BANG.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2024

#💌 ;; promising letter: one last call #💌 ;; fine print: ''boss''#💌 ;; promising letter: behind the facade #💌 ;; message delivery #💌 ;; from: ???#💌 ;; to: ???#yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere gi #genshin impact #genshin #gi #yandere #yandere writing #yandere text #male yandere

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moipale · 2 years

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the maddie-jack-vlad college trio make me literally insane. NO they aren't that deep in the show but so be it! we are all in the building-upon-canon's-barebones-foundation trenches, alright, and the college trio/family breakfast dynamic is my hill to die on

cos like. what an insane premise to start with, first of all. 3 people, potentially the ONLY three people ever, pioneering a niche almost-pseudoscience together in college. young twentysomethings with probably zero funding to their name and a batshit dream to follow. and as it turns out their science is legitimate, ghosts are real, and their first (that we know) proof of it all is literally enough to murder 1/3 of them.

vlad masters gets an ectoplasm facial & next thing he knows is he's hospitalized, he's half-dead, and his best friends, the only canonical connections he has have completely abandoned him. the accident happened and they dropped trow and ran. & vlad spends twenty excruciating years stewing in that abandonment. (idr if twenty is canonical but it makes sense given how old danny and jazz are)

and thats all just backstory! the college trio's relationship is already smoldering ashes by the time we get to it; we only actually see the long aftermath, where vlad is obsessed with the fentons and they act like they never abandoned him. it's such a compelling premise, with so much room to explore all three of their characters and motivations, and canon SPITS ON IT by dumbing down the consequences to "vlad is a big bad villain with a homewrecker complex." the college trio is deeply compelling to me in the sense of what it could and should be & there are a few particular points that i will truly die on a hill about:

a) vlad's anger/betrayal should be directed at both the fentons, not just jack. regardless of what or who actually caused the accident, they were both there, and both contributed to the proto-portal. more damningly, though, they both left him alone for the years afterward. they even went and got married, cementing their bond and leaving him all the more alone by comparison.

b) maddie and jack should have reason/motivation for abandoning vlad, and they should each be different. no friendship can be walked away from like that without strings attached. for that matter--when vlad hosts the reunion, the fentons attend without a second thought, even after leaving him so long ago. why? have they been thinking about him as much as he has thought about them, these past twenty years? (yes!!!!!!!!! there was no closure to what happened! of course he has haunted them! look what they did!)

c) the fentons should FIND OUT WHAT THEY DID. in any iteration of their story--whether vlad is danny's villain, or he's just a man, or he reconciles with the fentons--i think that jack and maddie should learn the consequences of the portal accident. i dont say this out of malice. vlad is, in most iterations, a bad person, in more ways than can be attributed to his half-death. and the portal accident was an accident. these are true things. it is just so deeply, deeply narratively compelling to have them find out. they made a mistake, they left it behind, it has dogged their thoughts for twenty years, and--oops! it was always as bad as you feared it was, in fact worse! you killed someone! you killed your best friend! the potential for themes of guilt and betrayal and preventable tragedy make me off the wall fucking bonkers.

im enamored with the college trio's story because it is so messy and so tragic and it has so much potential, whether flavored as enmity or friendship or any variation of romance (especially family breakfast). augh. ive written three fics about them already with a fourth on the way via invisobang and i am nowhere near done exorcising the thoughts they've stirred

#danny phantom #maddie fenton #jack fenton #vlad masters #family breakfast #mine #sharing my college trio propaganda with you all #college trio #dp

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frecklystars · 7 months

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Hi, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. This is sorta a suggestion (feel free to ignore it) from someone who kinda understand the hell you're going through - putting away the stuff that is triggering you was a very good idea. Getting some distance to it, and then you can revisit it in the future if/when you've built yourself up enough to stand it. Anything that makes you feel that bad I'd suggest packing away. It's unfair that you have to go through this, and I'm sorry you have to. It sucks.

Aw thank you for the kind message. I'm sorry if you've gone through something similar to this. having c-ptsd and/or trauma just in general is literally torture

I did already clear out 99% of my Transformers stuff, but the only thing I didn't pack away was my red energon necklace (and some Steve Blum autographs) bc I'm so used to wearing it every single day. for three years. but I genuinely hate wearing it now, it feels so empty. I didn't wear it for almost a year, and then i tried putting it on again maybe once a month if I wanted to wear it with a nice skirt or something, but I always had trouble with it. and then I just looked at it today and I fell apart completely 😭😭 I'll look at it and not only have bad memories associated with the person who ruined the entire franchise/self shipping for me, but it will make me worry that Starscream wouldn't even want me to have it anymore. maybe he'd want it back and he'd think I'm so stupid for even believing he'd ever love someone like me in the first place. and I hate thinking those thoughts, that's not like me. my abuser is the one who planted those thoughts in my head and I don't know how to shake it out. I never, never, never used to have trouble self shipping. I used to be so confident that my F/Os would all love me, regardless of who they were. I remember I used to say to myself all the time that there was nothing in this entire universe that could convince me that Starscream wouldn't love me so fully and wholeheartedly. but sometimes my sense of self worth feels like it has been completely destroyed and I'm scared I won't ever get to be myself again 😔

I'm probably going to have to shove the necklace into the box, along with my Steve Blum autographs bc I feel so sad when I look at those too. augh. it sucks. you're right!! it sucks!!!! it's been a year since this whole thing started, and I thought I'd be so much better by now. I keep trying to remind myself that I didn't get to fully escape my abuse until literally just a few months ago, so everything feels fresh. but still. this whole thing tears me up so bad every single day and I've been handling it a bit worse than usual since I'm not sleeping 😭😭

anyway thank you for acknowledging my venting and for sending me a nice message, it's little things like this that help me keep from falling apart completely ❤❤❤❤❤

#anonymous #asks #ptsd #abuse mention

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tunastime · 7 months

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“Maybe Pearl was right! You’re afraid of feeling anything, so you just don’t!”

Grian deflates.

“Scar—” he tries, moving forward. Scar shakes his head.

“No—"

“Scar, please,” Grian tries again, desperately searching his face. “That’s not true, you don’t—”

“Please, don’t—” Scar pleads.

“Please—” Grian reaches out, and, like so many times before, he almost reaches the edge of Scar’s sleeve, almost, but not quite. Scar jerks back reflexively, as if he’d been burnt, and the two freeze in place. Grian’s eyes, wide and uncertain, flick from Scar’s face to his hand, waiting. Scar’s hand stays drawn back, in fact, he doesn’t even look at him again.

“Please don’t try to convince me,” Scar says. “I think you’ve tried to cover up enough.”

Scar leaves. He leaves and when he leaves he watches Grian and Grian stays still, his eyes blown wide and fixated on Scar’s bowed face and when Scar turns away he shuts his eyes and turns like his whole body wills himself away rather than out of his own choice.

And Grian stands alone in the middle of his home, a shroud of glowing now dark around him.

thoughts? -🔥📱

man oh man burner cell, this sure is a paragraph!

so! this is from Prove to Me That Angels do Love Us, and if i'm not wrong I think this was the first thing I actually wrote for this fic. I have a habit of writing something right in the middle of a fic, or imagining a scene I really want, and then building up and around it to make it work.

I think in this, grian's main motivation for not telling scar (up until this point) that he was a watcher, that the boatem hole liked scar because grian liked scar, was that he wanted to do it on his own terms. he was scared of what scar would think of him, even if it was kind of a well-known secret. scar here felt betrayed--he completely ignored the fact that grian confessed to him and instead focused on the fact that he had to learn second hand something huge about his (current) best friend.

pearl's comment was completely taken out of context--grian fears emotions because he doesn't understand them yet. I think my version of watcher grian when I was first writing him (almost 2 years ago when this first started!) struggled a lot with his newfound humanity. watchers as they stand don't have to deal with human emotions or beliefs or structures, so having such a complex emotion like love or care or trust can be extremely scary. it's almost easier to shut it down completely. he's trying to tell scar that he's scared of hurting him with something he doesn't understand, and in doing so, caused the boatem hole to reflect his own emotions, but scar is only hearing the fact that grian kept a secret from him ("...you've tried to cover up enough"). scar doesn't want to leave, but at this point, his hurt overpowers how he feels about grian, and he forces himself to turn away from him.

this one took a lot of fiddling! I didn't want grian or scar to sound out of character while fighting or for them to come off too aggressively. it was originally a lot rougher and angrier, but as the story progressed, I knew it wouldn't work to have them so mean, so sometimes a compromise is necessary!

AUGH, anyway! thanks burner cell! this was super fun!

#asks #ask game #burner cell #HIIII HEEYYYY AUGH i should've known you'd pick this fic /pos i love it #so special to me fr.. really one of my fave scarian fics i had soo much fun writing it!#yeah. they're insane to me #i'd love to write a scarian fic that isn't watcher grian tbh #text #desert duo #fics

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velvetnviolentviolets · 10 months

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Get To Know The Author

name : Kay

pronouns : she/her

preference of communication : Honestly I have a huge preference for discord. I don't trust tumblr IM to actually alert me. Ive recently learned tumblr has been eating my asks too. If I don't reply to an ask or DM me PLEAS reach out to me. I will NEVE outright ignore something. If I don't think something is going to work for our muses I will reach out to you.

most active muse : Kat is my loudest and most demanding. After that would be Her brother Kass, Feyre, and then our spotty maybe I'm here maybe I'm not - Emmett.

experience / how many years : Ohhh boy. I've been doing the rp thing off and on since 2010. There was a five year chunk in recent years where I disappeared for a bit but the lovely @sharpayevcns pulled me back in a few months ago and I am so appreciative that she did. <3

best experience : Discovering the people here that make me feel safe enough to obsess over threads. You guys have absolutely made my return to tumblr. If I were to delete my blog with nothing but my connection with you guys to show for it - Well I would be absolutely fine with that. You guys are amazing and will absolutely be tagged in this.

rp pet peeves : I keep running into situations where I get heavily invested in plotting something (Drawing, writing head cannons, making playlists, planning cannon events. . .I literrally brushed up on a whole ass language for a plot) Only to have those people completely leave me on read. I am not a pushy partner in the least. I would be more than happy to wait a month for a reply. But I need communication. I need feedback if something doesn't sit right for you. I need reciprocated enthusiasm. You don't have to show It the same way I do but I need some show of enthusiasm otherwise it just feels uncomfortable and I feel annoying and restrained. That's not what I'm here for. I've honestly made the decision to start unfollowing people based on a three strikes basis. No hard feelings. I just don't want to follow anyone who doesn't bring the same energy I do.

fluff, angst, or smut :ALL OF IT! While I'm becoming more and more selective about who I write smut with I LOVE writing smut ESPECIALLY if its born of post Angst fluff. Actually almost exclusively. There is nothing that gets my muses motor going like post Angst Fluff!

plots or memes : Augh! Don't make me pick. I love Plotting but sometimes nothing really gets the juices flowing like memes do. I cant tell you how many times a simple meme interaction help set a pivotal point in a plot. ALSO- Memes are usually what help me forego my shy nature. While my muse outwardly gives NONE of the Ducks. . .I do . I give all of the Ducks so memes help me loosen up. I'm not responsible for the haphazard neuroSpicy creature you meet once the shyness has fallen away. You've been warned.

long or short replies : It depends on my mood and attention span. There is a Adderall shortage right now so I have only been taking my Adderall on work days so Ive had a VERY hard time focusing o replies as of late. When Im on top of my Game I am LONGWINDED AF .Please don't ever feel like you have to match me because there are times where I will write you a novel and we were only supposed to be writing a sentence or two. It just happens and Im sorry. time to write : Ha! um . . . Well I work Graveyard Thursday- Saturday from 8PM-9:30ish AM (PST) On slow nights I do write here and there but for the most part I can be found here pretty sporadically. If I have something going on during my weekend that I have to be a daytime person for then ill be up during the day time. OTHERWISE- Mostly evening and spooky hours .

are you like your muses : I could draw some parallels with each of them but I dont think I am like any of them.

tagged by: The Alluring @wynterlanding ~<3

@grimmusings @sharpayevcns @godccmplex <3

#wynterlanding #sharpayevcns #godcomplex #I hope this wasnt toooo much of a rant #XD #ooc

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straye · 1 year

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𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 : the hella sweet munday meme ( ORIGINAL SOURCE, FORMATTED TO BE A DASH GAME. )

♻ Any advice on improving Tumblr RP experience?

Block and blacklist, block and blacklist. Out of sight out of mind is a real thing here, and even reading everything on someone's blog to be able to do that efficiently.

⛅ Do you believe aesthetics are another form of expression?

In a way, yeah! I mean, the way I have my blog set up is certainly so.

☮ Are you feeling happy and inspired right now?

Happy, I guess. Inspired, errr. Trying!

☄ Has someone ever admitted to being inspired by you?

Maybe once? I mean Ren once said that the verse they made with Ghostshima was for me and I almost bawled my eyes out because I feel passionately about that evil little tape worm and the effect he has on Kogami past the grave. T_T

⚌ Who inspires you?

[dial up sounds]

♋ Are there any FC’s you believe should be used more? Why?

I don't use FCs at all if I can help it, so I think this is geared more towards people who use rl FCs? But if I had to say, as someone who observes secondhand, MORE SOUTHEAST ASIAN / BROWN / BLACK / INDIGENOUS FCS !!!

☸ Do you reblog from the source when someone practices reblog karma or do you follow it?

I reblog from the source for a cleaner activity tab, and I expect the same courtesy. Though, if it's something I can send in, I always try sending in stuff for memes.

☯ Do you believe you’re a forgiving person?

I'll be honest with you, no, and I've had very good reason not to be over the years.

⚑ Have you been forgiven for a mistake you’ve made?

Hard question, because I'd say kinda.

♛ Have you ever seen drama be maturely sorted out?

No lol.

♞ Do you tend to ignore drama?

Generally. It stops being drama if someone is a genuinely bad person or is up to some heinous shit though.

☾ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

One, a very long time ago. Now? Hell no.

☻ Have you ever made someone a promo or a positive shoutout?

Yes! <3 I always try to.

☎ What do you think about bias lists?

I only do these for like. KPop biases lol. Do you guys remember the mess that was follow forevers? I think we've learned from then.

☈ How many people would you say likes you?

I should hope my following, though idc if anyone hate follows.

♡ How many people do you like? Are there any people in particular that pop up?

Most of my following ??? I know me and @sorrowmarked , @withgutsandglory and @ungodli are super cool. I also wuv @kudakenai and @vtriol forever and ever. me and @yeonban have crazy meow meow to meow meow communication. Me and @n0fa0e have been friends for yeeeeears <3. And @naisetsu is pretty neat too. <3 ALSO @achroanimus FOR THEIR AMAZING IDEAS AND DEPICTION OF THE EVIL LITTLE MAN. I also owe so much to @amaeranthos. I also love love love what @vulpesse and @aahri do for a certain fox of whom I am smitten over ..............

☢ What calms you down after negativity?

Vidya games, talking to my best friend. :3

☠ What keeps you happy?

Thinking about Kogami Shinya.

☘ Is there anything that makes you instantly want to follow someone?

If they're funny as hell. Always.

☕ Is it often you hear people complimenting your blog? Characters, writing, theme, icons, etc.

No, not really, though the latest compliment I've gotten was the fact that my Kogami is so baby girl and I needed a moment to cry (positively) about that. <3

☂ What’s your best RP experience?

This was before this blog's time but when me and an ex made an entire multiverse of OCs. :( I miss that, and my OCs are still around, but that was a weirdly formative experience. Also when me and @ungodli had this rhythm for our first thread where our replies kept getting longer and longer and at some point we stopped apologizing for that LMAO AND WHEN ME AND @achroanimus STARTED OUR KOGAMI AND GHOSTSHIMA THREAD THAT I STILL NEED TO REPLY TO AUGH

⚈ What sweet things tend to happen to you from time to time RP wise?

When me and my partners will reply to something and when we see it we immediately alert each other with raw reactions <3

☐ What trends are you currently into?

girl idk.

★ What fandom do you consider welcoming?

I don't really pay attention to this. </3

☆ What are some the perks with the fandom you’re currently in?

It's small and quiet and if you want to be left alone you'll be well left alone.

☉ What fandom do you believe needs improvement? What could you do to do that?

No comment.

♦ How has roleplaying on Tumblr improved since you started out?

Um honestly yes especially when it comes to NSFW content and what kind of shit we'll let fly. It used to be that you'd see obscurely tagged full blown rl porn on your feed but now people have the courtesy to actually try tagging it better as well as people just feeling safe enough to call people out on bigotry and condoning gross shit. I kinda wish this environment is the one little 12-13 year old me started off on lol.

♨ Have you ever roleplayed with someone that has been problematic but offered critique and then watched them improve?

Yes but they did not improve.

⚓ Are there any small details you tend to like in roleplays?

Quoting some of my favorite medias / poems / etc. If you squint, you'll see my writing riddled with them. >:)

⚡ What are the good sides with duplicates?

I don't have a lot of experience with saying so but some of the villains I play where I don't mind duplicates : we really do understand these characters more than most of their fans do.

☀ What’s the best thing about roleplaying?

What isn't there to like about putting my character in all sorts of whacky scenarios or whatnot with characters he'll probably not have much interaction with or otherwise? Creating AUs, connecting with people through him, and even getting people into Psycho-Pass mwhahaha.

⛵ What genres do you like writing the most?

Slice of life, hurt-comfort, fluff, comedy, action. I want to try horror one of these days so bad.

☺ What tends to bring out your muse the most? What inspires you?

Little things that remind me of Kogami; then, I'm possessed by his spirit to let the world know that xyz is so him. Then his spirit leaves me. It often tends to be other forms of media, music, poems.

#munday.#do i dare disturb the universe? ∶ ( ooc. )#do i dare eat the peach? ∶ ( dash game. )

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moonmothmama · 1 year

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i swear to christ i've fallen in love with Cain and Abel all over again every single time i've encountered them.

years ago when my brother recommended i read Swamp Thing, do you know what i came away from it with? i mean i enjoyed it. but what really burrowed into my brain were these two fuckin' guys from ONE scene, a dream sequence, and i knew there was more to them, i didn't know what it was referencing but i knew it was referencing something, and i had to find out what, i wanted more of them

and it's interesting because i had run into Cain and Abel before, briefly; in the tie-in comic book to Batman: the Animated Series. it was an issue about Scarecrow. on one page there was a sequence with two men talking to Professor Crane about a work release therapy thing. and it stuck out to me because, just like the Swamp Thing appearance later, i could tell it was a reference to something. i didn't understand the reference but i know how that shit goes. they were way too detailed and distinctive not to be someone. i couldn't look it up back then because like..... it was a long time ago. it's not like i could just google shit the way we can now.

anyway. i read Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing- which predates Sandman as i later found out- at my older brother's behest, and as i said, i walked away with a burning curiosity about two characters who had appeared once in a main character's dream.

so. typical me.

and when i looked into it, i found something that fucking delighted me: that their origins were in old horror comics. that shit was RIGHT up my alley. so i dove in, and fell in love with them again. for real, i love those comics. first off the art! AUGH the old comic book art, i live for that shit. older comic book art is so gorgeous. and i love horror! i don't care that they were a lil corny. i have some of the collected volumes of House of Secrets & House of Mystery and god i wish they were in color.

anyway there was no repetitive reenactment of the first murder going on between them until Swamp Thing. they had a pretty typical mildly antagonistic sibling relationship as far as i recall (i have to go digging for my books); Cain teased Abel, and they were a bit competitive with each other, but iirc that was about as far as it went, aside from maybe a few quick gags. although, idk, would they have been doing that back then if they could've gotten away with it? hmm. food for thought.

what was i saying? right right. falling in love with Cain and Abel for the third time: watching Sandman on Netflix. by the time i heard that was gonna be a thing i already had a deeply established affection for these guys, although i'd never encountered them in the Sandman comics (the only sandman things i can remember reading are Death: The High Cost of Living & Endless Nights. if there was something else i've forgotten it). all the same, though, i was creeping on the news about it because hell, what chance am i ever gonna get to see Cain and Abel onscreen again? i mean a gal can dream. (hah) and they were a huge deciding factor in me watching.

and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa

they're so good i love them so much

particularly, watching this reminded me how much i enjoy Cain. is it weird that i feel a little guilty admitting that i favored Abel?? almost feel like i should apologize, lol (sorry Cain. mea culpa). but i love both of them. and i love them as a pair. and i am SO HYPED at the prospect of seeing more of them next season. PLEASE let there be more Cain and Abel next season.

#blogging on my blog #i'm sure i've said this all before but you know #cain and abel #sandman netflix #house of secrets #house of mystery #swamp thing #comic books

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swedisheek · 2 years

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ROSS’S TRACK BY TRACK ICIMI LIVEBLOG PART I

-fucking love tomcat disposables it’s so lovely and sad. ‘and as i lay down to sleep/i expect no dreams/no sweet goodbye to me’ AUGH YEAH everything you’ve ever wanted is right in front of you and you still feel like you haven’t changed a thing and you’re still getting older and you’re still dying. i think me and mr wood are made of the same sad essence. the fucking falsettos in this song also. so so good. alright next song

-oh jesus this is seven minutes long ok. banger lyrics so far though!! guessing this is about trying to retain individuality and your own identity while also conforming to traditional culture. OH WAIT THIS IS THE JUST LIKE MY PARENTS SONG OH MY GOD!! when he played this song on stream i almost cried lol. this shit is so sweet though,, domesticity and figuring out how to have your own life while trying to emulate the best of your parent’s lives,,, ‘i’d like to have a last love’,,,, will i be euthanized if i call him endearing. the Unsureness of it all but wanting to be sure and be forever and just sit on the fucking porch and watch the fucking sunset. god. ok next song

-CICADA DAYS BELOVED!!! such a big fan of this one i play it on uke all the time. this was the first song i heard him play on a stream when i was first really getting into him like a year ago. again the FALSETTOS!! and just his voice generally im so in love with how he sounds. it’s so like. fluid? like it goes from soft to high to screamy to low again so nicely. OH THE ECHO EFFECT AT THE END I LOVE THAT!! god this man. next song let’s go!

-oh man euthanasia :(( my happiness is immediately gone. again very very pretty though i love the building piano in the background. the fucking choral vocals at the end oh my GOD. and the knowing that there’s no afterlife but imagining you’ll see them again anyway. AND THE PUT TO SLEEP/MEET YOU IN MY DREAMS THING AT THE END FUCK. FUCK!!! okay next one lol

-oh yo falling up!! i heard this one live too :] it sounds super cool fully produced! really not sure what the hell this one’s about but probably coming to terms with your lack of control in life? yeah that sounds right. not like instantly adoring this like i did with the others but it’s genuinely a very nice song. alrighty next song!

-i recognize this one too!! another really cool one where i have no clue what’s going on with it story or concept wise. seems to be kind of about coming to terms with growing up in an environment where you don’t feel heard or safe to be yourself and now that you’re older you can’t see a way to right any of those wrongs. what’s with all these choral vocals in this album though lol i like them but they’re kinda unexpected. very sweet sounding and i’ll probably be relistening to this once im done with the album :]

gonna go eat now will return shortly and update this post with part ii

#roswell speaks #wwatt #will wood #in case i make it

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galactichelium · 7 months

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Really starting to wonder how long it's gonna be before I can see a rheumatologist now. Like. On paper I was only supposed to be on the waitlist for "up to 365 days", but in reality, way too many fucking people need to go to the rheumatology clinic. I was told by a different gp that the rheumatology waitlists are notoriously very long and wasn't surprised when I told him I had already been waiting a year. It's now been almost 14 months ! I love the public healthcare system /s. But at least it's free I suppose :/

Now Because it has now been over 365 days, I was asked if 1. I still wanted to be on the waitlist, and 2. If I wanted to be put on a separate list for basically "if someone else cancels an appointment I can come and snatch theirs". So I am now on That list. But I have a feeling that if waiting on this list for over a year wasn't surprising to my doctor... a lot of people are probably on that list. Augh.

Extra 2/3 paragraphs below the cut that aren't necessary to read but go a bit more into detail

How long will it be until I have a clue what is wrong with me and it doesn't feel like it's all just in my head. Because the blood tests came back negative for any of the usual indicators of rheumatoid arthritis, but that doesn't necessarily rule it out completely. But it could possibly be other things too.

I just found out a few months ago that my dad has ankylosing spondylitis so that's likely at least some of my problem, as I share the problems that he has with that in the same areas. And he said his problems with it started around the time that mine did (12 - 14). Though almost certainly not exclusively my problems because this doesn't come with hand pain afaik, and he only has minor hand pain. Whereas my hand pain is I'd say slightly more significant than my neck/shoulder pain. Separately from that, my dad has a generic "arthritis" diagnosis as well, but it seems to present mostly differently from whatever I have going on so.

(To clarify, bc it was misinterpreted by a gp when I was 15 or 16. The neck/shoulder pain is in the joints where the neck joins the shoulders + where the shoulders join the arms. Same as my dad. This isn't just "computer usage" pain, although I have that to a minor extent too.)

#Iron text

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bansenshukai · 2 years

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Ok, can we just talk about this panel in naruto for a second?

In the panel, Obito has had a change of mind, Naruto's worked his magic talk-no-jutsu, but Kakashi wasn't around for that, and he's just emerged from Kamui while still thinking Obito is a traitor to Konoha.

Kakashi is about to kill Obito. He is fully prepared to kill Obito, and Obito makes absolutely zero move to stop him. The only reason that kunai did not sink in is because Minato stopped Kakashi's hand.

sadkjllhjkdsafldfsafsdjhkal

I literally. AUGH. Kakashi! Would have had the blood of his friend on his hands again!!

"Let me take responsibility for him" AKA let me take responsibility for all the things he's done, because really what Kakashi is saying implicitly is that because Obito saved him all those years ago, Kakashi feels personal responsible for Rin and Minato's deaths, the Fourth-War starting, and all of this horrific destruction.

u fucked up lil traumatized bb!!! you KNOW he would have gone home after the war and just like. fucking stared into space in front of the memorial stone, totally fucked up over the fact that he had to kill the man who he based his entire life off of.

So Kakashi would have had to live forever with the memory ofTWO of Obito's deaths-- and both of them, in his mind, were his fault.

And Obito? Just look at his fucking face in this panel-- he's resigned. He's expectant, he thinks that's Kakashi's right to take his life, and he doesn't want to live with the weight of everything he's done. He knows he's fucked up. He's prepared, almost happy, to accept death at Kakashi's hand (and ultimately later, he gets his wish when he makes sure that he dies while saving Kakashi's life).

#naruto meta #obikaka #kakaobi #obito #kakashi #obkk #kkob #was this coherent? no it was not #too bad so sad im never coherent w obkk #fuck me up this section of the manga kills me #im going to start screaming #i told y'all i was gonna work myself into a froth haha!!!!#now time to go find some founders panels to shriek over suggestions welcome

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nicco-needs-love · 3 years

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Oh boy. I did it. I wrote this damn thing. It's kinda long (5k) so I'm splitting it into three parts because that's how I wrote this fic. The full thing will be up on ao3 tomorrow because it's 6am :,) my ao3 is HoliGAY if you wanna see the whole thing because I'm gonna edit it and make it look pretty on there! :,,)))

TW//quick desc of gore, and romanticizing of marriage! The gore isn't in this chapter so no worries! I would say this chapter would be rated G!

This is only chapter one! I'm gonna post the other's tomorrow! Sorry for any errors! I didn't read it over!

(1/3) White Proposal

"Is it normal? Y'know… To fall in love with one of our Eves?"

"Do you really think that's a good question to ask me?! Hell, I've fallen in love with every damn one of them!"

Ildio shrugs, realizing that asking Hyde was not the smartest idea.

"Well? There's a reason you asked that. Catching feelings for your Eve?"

"Yeah, I wanna propose."

Hyde inhales his water, coughing everywhere; caught very off guard at Ildio's sentence.

"Huh?!"

"It isn't that strange. Mother married one of her old eves. Double Doubt and his eve are engaged. You and yours?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's normal for us to fall for our eves! You, however, haven't done that once!"

"Well… Nicco's different."

Ildio looks away, thinking about the long haired guy he'd hopelessly fallen for. Ildio isn't sure about even asking Niccolò to marry him. They're dating, been dating for a few years. It's just there has never been a good instance of Servamps marrying their Eves. It's just a sad thing to think about. Servamps are immortal, they'll never die. Their Eves aren't. Ildio was never close to any of his previous Eves, he was one of the very few Servamps who has never fallen in love. Of course, that was until he met Niccolò. It was a curse until Ildio eventually gave up fighting off those butterflies he'd get when Nicco would smile.

"Uh-huh… Okay. Do you actually wanna do it? Propose I mean. Think about it, would it work? Sometimes I wanna propose to Licht but there's so many reasons I can't. Our schedules, his job, he's popular with "everyone" so I can't imagine the problems he would get if people found out he was married. Hell,I'm not sure Licht would even say yes."

"I'm just thinking about it, if I was gonna do it, it wouldn't be extravagant, we wouldn't even have to wear rings."

"Then what's the point? Could be the romanticism in me but, that's such a beautiful thing about marriage. Wearing rings? It's so romantic, the glimmer of each other's face reflecting on their wedding rings! Being able to see your love in a metal band on someone's finger is just a beautiful thing! I've been married a few times and wedding days are some of the best days of my life."

Ildio sighs, definitely regretting his decision of talking to Hyde about this. He definitely should have talked to Kuro instead, none of the theatrics or excessive romantic details. Honestly any of his siblings would have been better to talk to about this; except for Hugh. Hugh has always been against Servamps falling in love. Especially ever since the incident with Hyde many centuries ago. Then Jeje's past with the Alicen family. There have been many, many times Servamps have fallen in love. Every time they had talked about those things to Hugh, there would be a very long conversation about the problems with a romance like that. That's one of the reasons that Ildio has always been weary of the idea of love. In fact, he thought he would never fall for anyone. All his previous Eves were asses who would break Ildio's rules almost immediately. Yet again, Niccolò changed his mind on that.

"I'm gonna go, Law. I'm gonna think more about it."

"Mkay! Invite me to the wedding! I wanna see it!"

Ildio laughs aloud once, closing the door behind him.

The thing is, Ildio already bought a ring for the proposal. It was an impulse buy, he was shopping for snacks and a bright ring caught his eye in a window. The ring is one of a kind, a gorgeous onyx black band, with a shining silver inlay. Apparently there was a second ring similar to that one, however it sold a while ago. Ildio knew immediately the ring would fit Nicco. Don't ask how he would know that, many hours watching Niccolò's hands move would certainly not be Ildio's answer. The ring, inside a white velvet box, feels heavy inside his pocket. He could propose, just give Nicco the ring and walk away. Although he knows there's no way he could do that. After all, the worst thing Niccolò could say is no, right?

"He's been gone for hours… Not so far that the distance effect would take in, but far enough that I can't find him."

Niccolò sighs, sinking down against the vinyl chair he's sitting in. A few hours ago, Ildio told him to meet him at this diner. Nicco didn't expect to be waiting for hours. It's not like he has anything to do today anyway. Besides the piles of phone calls he has to make with other bosses of families because there have been many issues in the workplace. Nicco puts his head down on the table, considering giving Ildio a call. Not because he's impatient, but starting to get worried.

"Hey, Nicco."

Niccolò opens his eyes and looks up, seeing Ildio. Nicco isn't sure when he took a nap, but he certainly did. Ildio looks nervous? Niccolò isn't sure why he would be, but he sits up, tapping the spot next to him on the seat for Ildio to sit down.

"Hey… Sorry I fell asleep, I meant to call but, I fell asleep…"

Ildio doesn't say anything, just nods. It isn't rare for Ildio to not say anything. However, it is rare for Ildio to look this nervous. Or nervous at all. Nicco notices Ildio has his hand inside his jacket pocket, it looks like he's fidgeting with something? Or, it could just be Niccolò projecting. You see, something has been weighing on his mind for months; marriage. Niccolò knows that's the very last thing he should be thinking about. First of all, he's a mafia boss with many people who rely and count on him, he still has to prove he can be just as good as his father one day. Secondly, he would be married to a vampire, a Servamp. If Niccolò proposed, would Ildio even have a choice to say no? If that's the case, Nicco would never want to propose. Still, he bought a ring, specifically for Ildio. He was just window shopping for rings when he saw it. The ring is a shining silver that shines beautifully in the sun. Inside the ring is a deep black inlay, the ring is gorgeous. He sighed a sigh of relief looking closely at the ring, he knew it would fit Ildio perfectly. Niccolò being the hopeless romantic he is, he got an engraving into the ring's inlay. 'Mio dio'. Translating to 'My God' in italian. It's a very cheesy thing that Niccolò thinks about a lot, he thinks of Ildio as his God.

Nicco can't help but idly roll the black velvet box between his fingers. He bought the ring about two weeks ago, he's been thinking about the moment over and over. The imaginary proposal in his head. Niccolò honestly is far too shy to do something so forward. It's completely different to hold hands or soft kisses, this is marriage.

"S-so uh...Why were you out for so long, Il? I was getting worried…"

"Just thinkin' about stuff."

Silence. Niccolò shifts in his seat uncomfortably, not too sure what to say. Ildio is thinking the exact same, he isn't sure which way to go about this.

"So uh-"

They both start talking at the same time. Meeting each other's eyes, Niccolò looks down first, a blush dusting his face. Ildio obviously takes notice of this, realizing that Nicco is more nervous than usual; which is hard to be.

Ildio stands up, grabbing Nicco's hand and taking him out of the diner. In the corner of his eye, he can see many of the Carpe Diem members giving him a look of suspicion.

Outside the diner, around seven feet away from the entrance, Ildio can't stop fiddling with the box in his pocket. Nicco isn't touching the box in his pocket, however, it feels like one-hundred tons weighing in on him.

Ildio inhales, getting a grip on the wedding ring. He's doing it; he's going to ask Niccolò to marry him.

Looking at Ildio, Nicco can see a look of determination? Seeing that makes Nicco want to propose. He reaches within his coat pocket, grabbing the white box.

"Niccolò."

Nicco stops in his tracks, the severe tone in Ildio's voice making him stop. Has he done something wrong? Does Ildio suddenly just want to turn their relationship into business only? Does he want to leave the business and have nothing to do with Nicco anymore? His hands turn clammy, swallowing down a lump of anxiety.

"Y-yes?"

"I uh… Listen, augh- dammit."

Ildio's stuttering just makes Niccolò feel much more nervous. Thousands of different things race through Nicco's head. Thousands of negative things. He tries to brace himself for whatever words Ildio is going to say. Unfortunately, Nicco knows that if Ildio says anything negative, it will most likely break him.

"...I wanna marry you."

Ildio pulls out the white velvet box, opening it up to show the ring to Nicco. Part of him doesn't want to see Niccolò's reaction. He doesn't want him to say yes because Ildio doesn't want to get any closer to this anomaly. He also doesn't want Nicco to say no, because honestly… Ildio wants to marry Nicco. If Ildio's being completely honest with himself, he's hopelessly in love with the man before him.

Nicco gasps, audibly gasps, a… a proposal? He can't believe his eyes. The ring is absolutely stunning, it looks uncannily similar to the ring that Nicco bought for Ildio. He looks up to meet Ildio's eyes from the ring; it feels like hundreds of butterflies fly from his heart. Ildio's eyes are warm, soft. The breath leaves Nicco in a rush. Niccolò is sure Ildio is a literal god, not a vampire.

"I- the funny thing is…uh…"

Niccolò pulls the open black velvet box from his coat, showing the ring to Ildio. Nicco turns his head away from Ildio, not wanting to see his expression.

Ildio blinks a few times, looking at the gorgeous ring in Nicco's hands. He can tell immediately that it's the opposite version of the ring he purchased a few nights ago. Looking closer, Ildio can see some italian engraved into the ring. Since Niccolò knows italian, Ildio was able to know it immediately when they made their contract. "Mio Dio". It's a term that Nicco would use very affectionately towards Ildio. A term that Ildio doesn't agree with, but hearing those words from Nicco is, ironically, heavenly.

"Jesus Nicco… This is beautiful. So, I'm guessing it's a yes?"

Niccolò laughs, nodding. He pulls the ring out of it's black box, gently sliding it onto Ildio's finger. Ildio mimics the action, both of them wearing the ring the other chose.

Ildio grabs Niccolò's tie, tugging him into a gentle, loving kiss.

#servamp #gluttony pair #servamp niccolo #niccolo carpediem #ilnico #servamp ildio #fanfiction #chapter 1 #wedding theme #fluff #ff fluff #in which i write #not me projecting again #that's a tag now #not beta read #shipping #i love this ship sm #it needs more love

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