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#that they’ll look cohesive and good and also be easy to do
onwriting-hrarby · 21 days
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mhj at sm was something else but creative burnout got the best of her there ig? I think their new creatives are very talented but they just haven’t found their ground yet and like you were saying the focus on aesthetics over an actual concept really comes into play.
it’s easy to see in the way idols dress these days too if that makes sense? all very stylish but everyone can kinda blend together these days. like aespa drama (not the japanese idol inspired looks), baby monster sheesh, nmixx run for roses styling all looks interchangeable. groups don’t have a collective identity as much anymore.
groups like ive and nwjns have more distinction to me bc they’ll give us like one set of costumes that feel distinct each era but otherwise they’re the same wearing pretty looks but nothing that screams “we have a concept” they don’t blend in as much with the other groups mentioned but they also aren’t going for those vibes either
YOU ARE SO RIGHT WITH EVERYTHINGGGGGG ARGGG mhj was at her peak with SM, but i do believe she did an incredible job with the first NJ EP. It sounded like old kpop because it was a full concept. Now, with the new EP, I'm not so sure: I don't dig the musical style and I do believe they are viral songs, but aside of sounding very similar, I don't get the concept (although I do get the aesthetics). The girls are very talented but they don't shine in the vocals. Not because they aren't good vocalists (they are the best in HYBE) but because their tone is very similar, so if you put them with songs that made them sound very similar too you risk how they are going to receive the music. in the first EP, this worked because the girls had quite the same aesthetic (similar clothes, same hair) but for me it didn't work in the second becuase they were trying to point out their singularity while sounding the same. i don't know if it makes sense?
i do think there's a "blackpink aesthetics" nowadays. like, everyone dresses like blackpink. before, in the 3rd generation, every group dressed differently and according to the concept (the dresses in apple, by gfriend?? the horrible dresses in zimzalabim by rv??). in the 4th generation we get this kind of blackpink aesthetic becuase we have more "bad girl" groups and concepts, but it's still pretty cohesive, so i think, for example, that itzy or gidle works. but in the late generation + 5th... we'll see. even kiss of life dress a little bit the same as blackpink :'( i do think that aside from ive we should count stay c!!! they are the younger version of twice but with a punch!
(btw: can we comment on sheesh? i saw a lot of people saying that 'it sounded so differnet from blackpink' but... am i the only one that listens the same structure, same vocal tone?)
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woodardhudson04 · 9 months
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ARTWORK
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bynumschultz · 2 years
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Put Individuality To Your Room With This Particular Home Design Advice
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mcleancompton6 · 2 years
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katnissgirlsmakedo · 2 years
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girl help i wanted to do my nails today but i couldn’t think of anything and now i’m indescribably bitter about it because if i don’t come up with something in the next half hour i will have to do it all tomorrow and then i’ll be mad that i have to spend the day on my nails instead of just chilling
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Hi again! Honestly, I kind of love your meta about the Cullens with and without Edward as a framing device. They're so delightfully fucked up. What do you think the Cullens like about each other? Like, do Jasper and Rosalie ever just share a commiserating glance when Edward is getting particularly judge-y? Does Carlisle ever tell Rose how proud he is that her self-control is That Good? Do Emmett and Esme hang out, does she appreciate how light-hearted he is? Like - other than their "mates" do you think the Cullens are super close? What do you think it would take to get them there/what's the ideal "family" dynamic?
Thank you, and for reference, Edward's thoughts on the family.
All the Cullens about all the other Cullens? Well, this will certainly be a large post. I guess we'll tackle this one at a time and then get into what an ideal "family" dynamic even is (especially for vampires).
Let's buckle in friends.
Alice
By far, Alice is closest to Edward.
When she first sees him, she runs to him and embraces him as a brother. Throughout the series, Alice and Edward are the ones that share a close bond with each other, rely upon one another, and hold each other in the highest esteem.
Much of this comes from their respective gifts.
Per their gifts, they unwillingly invade the privacy of everyone close in their lives. More, it's something that forces them to see the world differently beyond even Jasper (who is also gifted). They have a strong sense of kinship with one another.
Bella is important to Alice not only because Alice sees her as a friend but because she is the one who will make Edward happiest. And that means quite a bit to Alice.
Otherwise, Alice isn't that close to any of the others.
Bella comes in slot number two in Alice's esteem and that's very telling, because Alice treats Bella like her life-sized Barbie doll and makes it clear on a number of occasions that she's more than willing to risk Bella's life for the sake of Edward's happiness without a hint of remorse.
Then there's the rest of them.
People, to Alice, are a bit like pawns in a chess game. Part of this is because of her gift, she sees so many futures that it's very easy for her to dehumanize those around her. The people she's closest to aren't people, but a collection of possible choices, and Alice helps guide those choices to the ones she finds preferable.
And preferable, here, is preferable to Alice. Oh, it might work out for everyone else, and Alice will tell you she looks out for the future of everyone over all, but ultimately because everyone else is just a collection of choices it's what happens to Alice that matters.
Alice is with Jasper because a vision told her to be, nothing more, nothing less. Every interaction they have just emphasizes that they are nothing together, not even a real emotional bond.
The others don't even seem to share a connection with Alice at all. She's in their lives, is this perky kind of fun girl, but that's it. They barely know her as she seems to barely know them.
Alice is with the Cullens not for the Cullens themselves but because visions have guided her to be there as the best future for her. Oh, she treats them like family, but I imagine she'd be the same with anyone else had visions dictated a different path.
As for why the Cullens, they're large and very talented, and Carlisle is one of the few vampires in such a large coven who would not use Alice's gift as a means of war or expansion. It's really the safest place for Alice to be, and why she'll likely do everything in her power to keep the coven together.
Carlisle
Despite Edward's, Edwardness, Carlisle is incredibly fond of Edward and does see him as something of a son. He's also very devoted to his marriage to Esme, despite its unseen flaws. And he seems to be very close with Rosalie, easily seeing her as a daughter and acting much like a paternal figure to her throughout the series.
He doesn't seem as close with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. This is in part because Emmett doesn't really reach out to him the way the others do, Jasper keeps very much to himself, and Alice is Alice.
However, he's very fond of the Cullens as a whole and looks on each of them highly, even if they don't really deserve it all the time. He would be devestated were the coven to fall apart.
Emmett
Emmett's closest is with Rosalie, for obvious reasons, but even they have a pretty dysfunctional relationship. What Emmett appreciates most about Rosalie is her beauty, when it comes to her personality, he openly admits he's not the largest fan (but what are you going to do, it's the wife, amirite?)
Otherwise, he's a very amiable guy and gets along well enough with everyone, but doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. He wrestles with Jasper and seems to engage in the most 'fun' activities with him, but Jasper is a very haunted soul with a difficult past that Emmett doesn't touch with a ten foot pole.
Emmett tries to bond with Edward, but they just don't understand one another. Especially as Edward seems to go increasingly mad when he decides he's in love with Bella Swan, Emmett doesn't know what to do with that one at all.
Emmett never embraces the whole Esme and Carlisle as his parents thing, and to him it's likely a hilarious joke, but otherwise he doesn't bond with either of them too much.
So, when you get down to it, it's pretty much just Rose.
Esme
Esme adores the family, and by the family I mean Edward. Edward is far and away Esme's favorite child, really the only Cullen I'd say Esme considers her child, and she makes no pretense otherwise and openly says as much.
That said, if you asked her, it would be about the family unit as a whole. And she would be devastated if the Cullens fell apart on her, though not as much if one of the fringe members left vs. Edward leaving.
Otherwise, there's Carlisle, who she adores as her husband. Though they, too, have significant issues. Specifically, neither of them truly knows who it is they married and one day they will find that out. Personally, I think Carlisle ranks far less in Esme's priorities than Edward, in part because he doesn't need her quite so badly, and also because in a way he just is Husband to her and little else.
I think she has very little connection with Jasper and Alice specifically, as they came in so late and in a way are so self contained. Emmett I think amuses her, but he's not really a "child" per se. Rosalie's closest, but as Rosalie doesn't need her as a mother I think that puts a wedge between them.
I also think that Rosalie and Esme wouldn't really understand each other. Despite having lived through similar experiences as humans, they are very different women from one another. I just don't see the bond there.
Jasper
Jasper seems to be the eternal outsider in the family. Edward despises him, but more, I think he doesn't quite know where to fit in with these people. He came from such a different from world than each of them and lived a very different life.
We see him wrestling with Emmett, so there's a bond of friendship there, but I never saw it as a particularly deep one. They'll wrestle, play games, but they never have the hard and difficult conversations in life.
He and Alice have their relationship, but there doesn't seem to be anything really holding them together. The conversations they need to have don't happen, and Alice manipulates his life like a piece on a chessboard, and he consents because he has no trust left in himself at all.
We see Jasper despair to Carlisle in Breaking Dawn that Bella, a newborn, has better control than him but this seems to be an extreme moment for him. It doesn't seem like he and Carlisle are talking often even if, perhaps, they should if only to gain more perspective from one another.
Jasper didn't come to the coven for Alice, nor is that solely the reason he stays, but he very much is an outsider and the one who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of them.
Rosalie
Rosalie is very invested in the family itself. She loves these people, even the ones that aren't so hot on her.
Yes, she wishes she and Alice had an actual relationship, and is pissed off when Alice blows her off for Edward's human girlfriend of all things. Yes, she wishes that she and Edward could get along, but she sees him as the brother you sometimes have a rocky relationship with.
Point being, to her, they are very much a family and she strives to keep them together.
As for who she's actually close to, I'd say it's Emmett and Carlisle. Her relationship with Edward is tense at best and antagonistic at worst. She and Alice have virtually know relationship at all, Jasper keeps to himself, and we don't see her really connecting with Esme.
On the other hand, in terms of her education (pursuing all she can and especially getting her medical degree), her strict adherence to the diet, she seems to emulate Carlisle in all that she does. He's very much a father figure to her and someone she wishes to be like.
So, I do think Carlisle tells Rosalie he's proud of her and she beams up at him. That one I do very much see happening.
Emmett is her rock, the man who keeps her steady and pulled her out of misery, who loves her near unconditionally. For the wrong reasons, perhaps, but time will tell if that relationship works out for them.
Summing it Up
The Cullens are actually fairly disjointed. They may look like a single cohesive unit, and they are in a sense, but if you look closer they divide down into cliques and subgroups quite easily. Not one of them is equally close to all other Cullens, and most of them are strangers to at least one of them.
This perhaps isn't surprising, given I think the coven is ultimately doomed, but it lays the foundations as for why it's doomed. Edward tells us this himself, what holds them together (vs. other smaller covens) is the diet. Edward, of course, didn't mean it like this, but to me that spells a very tenuous bond. One that, with not much of a catalyst, will break.
And I don't think they're going to get to the point where they reach that family ideal.
First, they'd have to truly understand each other, and understanding Edward would break the coven. So that's not going good places.
More though, they're such different people who ultimately do not share common ideals. They don't want the same things in life and certainly not for the same reasons, and because of that they're not going to be incredibly close to every other person in the coven. And that's fine, they don't have to be.
To be honest, I'm not sure the family dynamic is something they should strive for. They already, mostly, care about one another deeply and do live together. Why should they emulate human families?
The place where it falls apart on them is that half of them don't know who the other is, they all think they have different values than they actually do, and Edward is Edward.
And there's no getting around Edward being Edward.
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Is it just me or does Norman's relationship with the Lambda kids seem kinda weird? For example, he is constantly burning down factory farms, therefore killing the children inside them, yet Jin and Hayato, who are from factory farms, don't seem to care. Idk about you, but I would be at least a little upset if someone I trusted killed a bunch of my peers. Did Norman just not tell Jin and Hayato about burning the farms, or are they in a weird toxic situation where they think Norman can do no wrong?
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MMMMMMHHH ok I get that the Norman burning farms keeps being problematic, and I know that people despise him for that. My personal take on the matter is that he really thought he had no other choice, and the other Lambda kids thought the same. In chapter 113, Norman explicitly states that there's nothing they could do to save them, for removing the devices from the children would cause their dath. At least to their eyes, there was nothing they could do to save the mass-production kids, and when the only option was them being eaten by demons, burning the farms probably felt like an act of mercy. And it's not like Norman was ok with it- as I've said before, I consider Norman to be an extraordinary emphatic person, and it's pretty clear looking at chapter 113 how it phisically hurt him to see those children suffer and to cause their deaths.
On the other hand, I won't deny that the relationship between Norman and his close circle of Lambda subordinates (including Hayato and Jin) is... Complicated to say at least. I've talked about it a little here already if you'd like to check it out. Overall I still stand by my statement that it was not anyone's fault for it being like it was, they were just a group of people that met in very unfortunate circumstances that didn't help them grow an healthy relationship. First of all, much of their coming together was for their common hatred towards a group end their desire to kill them all which is... Definitely not something that helps build and healthy bond, you know. Reading the interactions between Norman and the others, it's particularly disturbing how cold and emotionless he is towards them, and it's all the more striking when compared to how warm and gentle Norman is towards his GF family. I mean even in chapter 145, when he was supposed to reassure them that they won't die, it sounds more like a "this is my plan so it's impossible for anything to go differently from what I predicted, so you won't die." It's not a speech of a friend, it's a speech of a leader- and that's the whole point! In a moment of deep insecurity and unstableness, after having been abandoned of all the firm point of their lives, the Lambda group needed a strong, stable point to rely on. It's not like they asked him to guide them, it was probably more about everyone subconsciously taking on a role: Norman, who has remarkable wits and good leader abilities, became their boss, and the other Lambda people became soldiers that could rely on him. Since in this context there isn't any difference of status between the highest authority and his subordinates, it's natural that the Lambda peers were ok with their roles: after all, finding their place within a system is often considered a reassuring factor for people. Again, this separation was dictated by the circumstances: in a different context, Norman would have had no need to lead them, and they could have just been, you know... Friends. Instead in this case the distance between Norman and the others grew to be bigger and bigger: I'm guessing that for his gentle nature, Norman wanted to fit the best he could in the role of a strong leader, but that made him become cold and stone hearted, someone who, being the one everyone relies on, can't rely on anyone, because that's his role. Again nobody asked him to- I guess Norman is just like that. I'm not saying either he liked to act that way (he most likely didn't), but still did because he thought that was what the others needed.
I think I got lost along the way, but the point I wanted to make is: I think the Lambda group doesn't work as a group of friends simply because... Until chapter 153 Norman doesn't act as their friend, but as their leader / emperor: I believe that for a friend group to be healthy and balanced everyone needs to feel equal to the others, and that clearly isn't a thing in that environment. I like to underline that, excluding Norman, the Lambda squad is pretty cohesive and makes a nice group of friends (I mean chapters 123/138 even imply that Vincent, Barbara and Cislo hang out together which is... Honestly heartwarming 🤧); it's just that Norman wasn't part of that group to start with. (A pretty visual depiction of it:)
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But... At the same time, that doesn't mean he never will? As soon as Norman stops feeling like he needs to be a god™, and as soon as everyone else realizes they have to treat him as the human he is, I really believe they can become friends in the healthy way of the term pfft. And the manga put very nice basis for such development: most notoriously the chapter 154 Cislo speech, but I also consider very important for Vincent's character growth the moment in chapter 168 where he stops calling Norman "boss" and starts addressing him with his name (for real, it's such an emotional moment: it's Vincent chosing to sacrifice himself not for his leader, but for his friend).
So yeah to sum up: Norman's relationship with the Lambda group is pretty unbalanced and not what I would define an healthy friendship, but that is something that can happen when the environment you live in is hostile, and it's really nobody's fault (like, for real- life lesson between the lines lol). That doesn't mean that they can not be friends once they've overcome their differences, and I personally think, once in the human world, they'll be friends who love and support each other <3
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I answered all of that not knowing there was a part 2 attached rip.
Ok now I've talked a little about what I think of Vincent and Norman relationship and Vincent “buttler” role here. Overall, I guess that even if you're a very smart person yourself, thinking there's someone who holds all the answers and can give you solution to any problem is still a very compelling concept. For real peoples, it shouldn't be so surprising... These kids live in a constant nightmare, it's only natural for them to seek for reassurance, even if it comes from a very tall 13 y/o who acts like an emperor. I may have done the same at their place.
Yeah I TOTALLY GET THE FEELING OF THE CHILDREN IN THE PARADISE HIDEOUT BEING LIKE "there is now war in Ba Sing Se" like:
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But I think... This is what Norman wanted to give them? A safe place to be happy without having to worry about the horrors of the outside world, because he was enough to handle them. I believe all the hideout children knew about the war against the demons Norman was getting ready for, but it was ok, because their Mr. Minerva was so good at what he did that they would have never been in danger. I think part of their easy believing is also due to the fact that most of them are just little children... It's easy for them to believe in that happy tale, they lack critical thinking lol. They were children rescued from farms, right? They most likely never saw a demon themselves, contributing to making them distant, abstract entities that couldn't hurt them. So more than “there's no war in our world” it's more like... “there's a war in our world but our boss is just so good that it's never going to effect us in any way :)". Can this considered brainwash?? I mean, I think Norman was just trying to be hopeful and spread some positivity among the children who would have probably been very scared to be taken away from their homes... Besides, Norman believed in that story as much as the other children did.
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majimemegoro · 3 years
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TEAM “-JIMA”: Majima, Saejima, Dojima (Daigo); Nakajima as backup player
VS
TEAM “NISHI-”: Nishiki, Nishida, and Nishitani; Nishina as backup player
(based on my meme and this meme by @maoliosa​ )
Now at first this seems like Team Jima has it in the bag, as they have 2 absolute legends and Team Nishi has 0. But let’s take a closer look.
Team Jima has Majima and Saejima. That’s two fighters, one of whom is a tank and one who has +100 speed, agility, and can also use mad dog frenzy. Then there’s daigo on support, hes easy to put in a coma but he has a super powerful long-range attack. Meanwhile Nakajima can run people over with a taxi if he needs to. Overall this is a team that’s SUPER effective on offence. They’re gonna come out of the gate fast and hard, and they’ll keep the pressure on, too.
On the other side we have the Nishis. Not one of these players is on the same level of attack as majima or saejima, but Nishitani comes pretty close and Nishiki is also a solid fighter on offence. Nishida is a bit weak on attack, but his defense is super strong and as a support player hes unparalleled. Finally we have Nishina, who is also by no means a fighter. but he does have a gun. actually he has two guns.
But who’s the strategist for team Jima? Daigo? I have to laugh. The closest team jima has to organizers is Majima and Nakajima. Nakajima has experience with organization from running is taxi company, but we’ve seen that he isn’t successful in controlling his employees, and also battle is very different from dispatching taxis. Meanwhile majima can do master plans (see y5), but they always have one million ways they can go wrong and are not really that well constructed.
Now let’s look at team Nishi. Nishitani is a write-off on strategy. Nishiki is a confirmed schemer, but his schemes didn’t end well - he has the potential, but he would need a more experienced strategist to act as a counterpoint to his tendency to become unhinged and let that get in the way of tactics. Meanwhile Nishina is a matagi village chief; he has experience as a leader, and as an elected authority it’s clear that he has the skills necessary for fostering a cohesive group dynamic. So that’s already a strong combo. And then.... there’s Nishida. Do I need to say more? This guy moderates the mad dog. he manages one of the biggest, and craziest, families in the tojo clan from behind the scenes. he runs a construction company on the side. he doesnt need to eat or sleep, and he has deadly insight into what it takes to turn a mess of headstrong cogs into a well-oiled destruction machine. Add to this the fact that he has in-depth knowledge of Majima, and will likely be able to predict and anticipate whatever he does, and we have a truly lethal opponent for team jima.
WHO WINS: it’s a close one, but team Nishi’s superior ability to strategize is gonna take this one. Nishida makes the plan with input from Nishina and Nishiki. Nishiki winds up Nishitani and points him in the right direction. Nishitani does his thing with backup from Nishiki and Nishina. the jimas will put up a good fight, but they can’t carry the day. not up against nishida.
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bynumschultz · 2 years
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Put Personality To Your Place With This Interior Decorating Advice
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frangipansi · 4 years
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Hi! If your inbox is open, I'd like to request a scenario with all (or any) of the demon brothers, + undatables reacting to a blind MC? Like, none of them expected to have a blind human and Devildom and they have to revamp everything to make it as safe for MC as possible. Can be she/her or they/them pronouns for MC. Bonus points if MC is extremely talkative and won't shut up lmao. Thank you!
OKAY! So, finally got this one out. I’m sooo sorry for the wait, but I wanted to try and do this right, not just some Daredevil nonsense, but I didn’t want to make the mistake of a ‘helpless blind MC’ either; because they’re not helpless.
I am also lucky enough to have a regular customer at my work that happens to be blind and she has been very happy to give me a helping hand to make this ask more real. She’s such a delight and her guide dog is beautiful and I could ramble on with our interactions, like one time she scolded us for moving the fixtures because she had just memorized the layout of the store then told her guide “you’ll earn that pay check today!”
SO! With her in mind, more so from her younger days that she reminisced with me; I have decided to work this piece around this customer’s condition specifically so I’m not just pulling shit out my arse.
To give you an idea, this MC suffers from Retinitis pigmentosa; their symptoms being tunnel vision and night blindness. So while they are legally blind, they can somewhat see. They use a cane when going out, use their hands and/or cane when inside a place knew to them – that happens to be in poor light (Devildom) – until they have the layout in their mind and move more confidently.
~
This also took a while because I couldn’t get a fic/scenario to work cohesively and hc was just not working either! But I’ve hopefully gotten it now, and I do hope you like it. I’ve also placed this under the cut because I’ve waffled on here.
Diavolo:
Interested. Anyone within the Devildom without eyesight, are generally the souls of the damned who aren’t permitted to move freely. Heck, he’s removed some of their eyes himself.
He wants to know instantly if there is anything he needs to change and improve to make sure MC’s stay is not only comfortable but enjoyable.
Absolutely loves how open MC is. He’s amazed at the resilience of humans; delighted to hear MC say how capable they are, though he does insist on one of the brother’s remaining her escort for the duration of their stay. Capable or not, he is well aware of how demons would use MC’s lack of sight to their advantage.
Really wants to ask how amplified their other senses are; disappointed to know most things depicted in movies are – for the most part – an over exaggeration.
Organises a tablet for them with all RAD textbooks uploaded so they have that ability to zoom in so they are able to read the text at their own comfort. Other systems such as braille, text to talk etc are also implemented if that is something MC prefers to learn by.
Lucifer:
Considers Cerberus as a guide dog? Impossible, the human would be eaten alive. Perhaps another smaller hellhound? Goodness no, they’d still be eaten.
Asks MC about their condition –on behalf of Lord Diavolo of course – so he is aware of anything that may help their stay in the Devildom.
Very pleased to see how receptive MC is, very talkative and informative about her condition; he’s surprised to learn the varying levels of visual impairment. Consults Diavolo on brighter lighting to improve her movements around RAD and already planning on improvements within his own home.
During MC’s first few nights in Lamentation, Lucifer appears on edge; always keeping an eye when they’re moving about on their own. Enjoys watching how they learn to memorize layouts, quietly telling themselves how many steps it takes from one room to another, touching hallway objects.
Ready to run to their side that one time MC walked into the wall; turning into the kitchen a little too soon; until he hear them chuckle to themselves and ran their hand along the wall until they found the doorway and walked through it. No damage done. He’s learning to leave them be, understanding that he doesn’t need to dote on them.
Mammon:
MC is blind? Ooh yeah! The things that boy could swipe to make some quick Grimm, and right under their nose. It was gonna be too easy!! Completely stunned when they still catch him out. “How’d ya know it was me?!”
Watches them narrow their eyes as if trying to spot him before coming up beside him and close the drawer he was just rummaging through. The nerve this human has to threaten The Great Mammon by saying they’ll use their cane to whack him.
Surprised at MC’s explanation on how they knew it was him. They recognised his scent; not only did he have his favourite cologne – which he didn’t think he wore that much of – they noted how he had a metallic smell, like the kind you get when touching coin constantly.
Likes to watch MC move around their room; at first using their hand to remember the layout and then moving as if they saw as well as he did. Considered rearranging things to see what would happen.
Okay, so MC isn’t helpless… but, other demons don’t know that. Considers using MC as bait; distract idiots so he can rob them and sell their things for a little Grimm. “I, The Mammon, am a genius!” “No, Mammon.”
Levi:
Couldn’t even imagine being in their position; all that manga he couldn’t read, anime they couldn’t watch… never knowing what Ruri-Chan looks like!!! Gasp! No way. Poor MC!
Really confused when he sees them one day, curled up on a chair in the common room, wearing a pair of glasses and a book in hand. Wanders over and looks over their shoulder before questioning what was going on; nodding when they told him that with reading glasses and preferably larger font, they could indulge in many a storybook.
As their relationship blossoms, he has a dedicated reading nook in his room for the two of them, including a lamp to brighten the area to help improve what sight they have. Likes that they’re happy to listen to him read to them his TSL series. He thinks about writing to the publishers for the next editions to have larger fonts; that way he could buy MC a set of their own.
He likes to sit and watch them bring things close to their face to inspect them better; his figurines which they – to his relief – handle with great care, or his manga comics to see which characters he’s fawning over.
He secretly loves that MC likes to chill by his fish tank wall. Why? They state that while there’s too much distortion for them to actually make anything out, they enjoy the ambient colouring and light; the two eventually just listen to music together like that as a means to relax.
Satan:
Of course he is utterly curious about MC’s condition and is glad to see how open they are to talking about it. He’ll look things up himself in his own time but nothing like hearing it from someone’s own experience.
Asks if those romance and crime novels are accurate; “so, do you touch people’s faces so you know what they look like?” finds it interesting that for the most part, this doesn’t happen; but it makes sense, he wouldn’t be too thrilled by someone he barely knows putting their hands onto him.
Writes down notes that he considers most important from the board during lessons and offers them to MC should they need them for their studies.
Another one who likes watching MC learn their way around Lamentation, like how they touch cupboard handles until they find the one they need while grumbling about how crappy the lights are.
Shared appreciation for just lying on the ground whenever a cat is near them, all responsibility out the window as number one priority is giving adorable little hellcats their undivided attention. Loves that MC is willing to con Lucifer into believing a cat makes a wonderful guide animal.
Asmo:
Oh poor MC, unable to see just how beautiful he is… Oh, they can kinda see? If he gets real close? Oh he can definitely do that! Bummed that MC promptly puts in some boundaries but once their relationship develops they do enjoy the closeness with him.
Learns – albeit slowly – that his looks aren’t going to win MC over, and instead begins to better understand the value of personality and getting to know a person. Should MC like Asmo, it’s because of who he is and not for all the fluffing he does with his looks.
Whenever he happens to be the brother escorting MC, just know he’ll always detour to the main hub; treating the two of them to manicures and pedicures, facials, all that fun stuff.
When shopping, he loves how MC feels the fabric of things he grabs for them and has an even bigger appreciation for how things feel on him. Absolutely enjoys offering explanations whenever MC would ask about colour or cuts if they can’t make them out should the lighting be too poor for them.
Will starting looking around for ‘fashionable’ canes. Yes, he knows it’s about practicality and he’s not going to take that away from MC, but what’s wrong with wanting to match their cane with that gorgeous outfit he’s picked out from them?
Beel:
Having no experience with a visually impaired human, he’ll ask MC if he should carry them places; it’s no big deal, they looked pretty light after all. Apologises if they happen to get a bit defensive so keeps close while they walk together, worried they may walk into or trip over something.
He’ll be curious about whether or not other senses are heightened due to the loss of another and is lowkey disappointed that they wouldn’t be able to hear someone in the kitchen stealing his food when they’re somewhere else in the house.
He loves cooking with them; the tastes of what he creates seem to be more balanced and they’re more than happy to sneak him a few snacks while Lucifer is occupied elsewhere. They’ll fool around, tasting things to see who can pick up more notes.
Things turn into a game between the two of them; if he spots MC in a room he’ll sneak up and try and get to them before they realise he’s there. “Too heavy on your feet,” or “you were giggling,” is something he hears a lot when trying.
Though MC can’t really see while he’s training or playing a game, he really appreciates that there still there to cheer him on; he’s taken to wearing a bright headband in hopes that they’ll be able to spot him out a bit better. They don’t half the heart to tell him they still can’t find him.
Belphie:
In the beginning, he’ll use MC’s lack of sight to their advantage; sly and manipulative to lure them in. Watches how they react to his voice, how their eyes or head move in the direction he’s in, learning how they work their other senses.
Tensions between the two would be tight after that moment and he’ll feel tremendous guilt for what he did to them; keeps himself at a distance, afraid they’ll recoil if they sense he’s too close and understands if they would.
Amazed that they find it in them to forgive him and help mend bonds between him and his brothers, and will spend whatever time he’s able building up trust with MC; whether that’s being their escort around Devildom or just being there for company.
He loves – when trust is established – that MC is just happy to lay with him while he star gazes and talks about what he sees, trying to paint a picture for them while they huddle up together in a fluffy blanket, sharing his cow print pillow.
Simeon/Luke:
They’re angels; their job is to look over and protect humans. So they are already well aware of how capable MC would be – Simeon more so than Luke since he’s younger and more interested in Michael – but they will still offer their assistance should MC need it.
They’re also the sort to take notes down during class that MC may not be able to see on the board; but they’ll ask before assuming.
Simeon has taken to writing a little bigger if it’s something he’d like MC’s opinion on his work; the two forming a bond through fiction and history. The two can be found losing track of time and just talking about any given thing.
Luke enjoys cooking with MC; asking them what they think of the taste of something he creates and asks how he can make it better. He’d love to be able to wow Michael upon his return to the Celestial Realm and MC will always critique his work rather than sugarcoat like Simeon would or just outright scare him like demons would. With a little push from MC, he takes lessons from Barbatos.
Solomon:
Quite unphased; he’s dealt with various impairments before seeing as he is still human despite being a very powerful sorcerer. He doesn’t offer assistance but will give it should MC ask him for help.
He has many a spell in his books that could quite possibly cure or ease symptoms of various impairments and is very tempted to bring this information to MC; but decides on holding back until he can figure out how to approach the subject. He’ll ask them how they feel about their situation and go from there.
Would also offer heightening other senses should MC want them; even temporarily if they’re just a little curious. “Let’s see what’s so crash hot about being Daredevil!” “My thoughts exactly MC.”
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katrinawritesthings · 3 years
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jonghyun / Taemin; performance piece; PG
can you believe I actually wrote a prompt : )
"I," he says confidently, "am," he says loudly, "i-in," he says noticing the neighbor downstairs and to the right of Jonghyun looking through their own window, "love with you," he says quietly, face on fire. and then, because he knows Jonghyun well tell him to say it louder anyway, repeats himself in a loud rush: "I am in love with you!" 
And then quickly puts his face in his hands and crouches down in the dirt for a moment as the family on the sidewalk actually cheers.
The little hat of the acorn in Taemin's hand has a bumpy texture when he rubs his thumb over it, kind of staticy, soft but messy, and that's exactly what it feels like inside of his brain as he stands underneath Jonghyun’s second floor balcony and tosses it at his window. 
More accurately, it feels anxious in there. 
The argument from just an hour ago plays through his mind as he nervously jiggles all of the spare acorns that he picked up and put in his hoodie pocket along the way. He tosses another one to be sure that Jonghyun knows that it wasn't just a random noise. 
Jonghyun loud and indignant, speaking over him and piling on, Taemin guilty and defensive, lashing out and dismissing Jonghyun’s emotions, both of them out of line. Neither of them saying anything constructive right up to the point that Jonghyun threw up his hands and announced that this just wasn't fucking worth it anymore and left.
Maybe Taemin showed up to try to talk to him again too fast. Maybe he should have waited longer. But then, wasn't one of Jonghyun’s main points that Taemin didn't even seem like he cared enough to put in effort? If this isn't effort, then he doesn't know what it is. But still, his head feels like it's made out of static and his hands twist and knot in his hoodie pocket and maybe he should just leave and come back another time and--
And now it's too late because Jonghyun has opened his glass door and stepped out onto the balcony and is frowning down at him, arms crossed on the banister, eyes narrowed. 
"What?" His voice, cold like ice. Somehow, though, that lessens Taemin’s anxiety. Replaces some of it with annoyance. Jonghyun really doesn't get to be as mad as he is. Taemin came somewhat prepared for this conversation; at least the first part, so he doesn't second-guess himself and just plows right through with it. 
"Okay, first of all," he starts, trying very hard not to think about how good Jonghyun looks from this angle, "you were meaner to me than I think I deserved and I really don't appreciate that and if this works out then I definitely want to talk about that later." And Jonghyun scoffs and rolls his eyes, but he also sucks in his cheeks, what he does when he's trying to suppress a pout, so Taemin lets it slide. "Second of all," Taemin says, and then he sighs.
"You were right," he mumbles. "I didn't––" 
 "Sorry, say that again? Louder? Real quick?" 
Taemin glares up at him. He's looking all innocent, eyebrows raised, one hand on his chest, the other hand cupping his ear.
"You're a brat," he says, at full volume, and then tacks on, "and you were right." 
And then he sighs again. puts his face in his hands, rubs his palms into his eyes and forces himself to look back up. Wills himself to say the words that he practiced in his brain in between their looped argument. Jonghyun looks ready to listen instead of just yelling at him some more, at least. 
"I didn't know how to," Taemin starts. "I kept. It's just, like." he groans in the back of his throat, rolling his eyes. This is exactly his problem. Jonghyun was right. It's just so hard for him to say things out of his mouth so instead of saying them he pretends like they don't exist and gets defensive when people try to bring them up.
But not this time. He refuses to let his gremlin brain fuck this up for him.
"Every time," he says, clenching his hands hard around the acorns in his hoodie pocket and staring so hard at Jonghyun that he starts to look through him, "every time you would flirt with me or say I was cute or imply that you had feelings for me or whatever. It would make me panic because I thought you were joking, and. And, like. Um." His eyes drift over Jonghyun’s shoulder when he catches movement there and he is mortified to find Jonghyun’s sister leaning half around the sliding door curiously peeping out at him. "Um," he says. Jonghyun’s mom appears behind his sister, saying something to her that Taemin can't hear and then looking at him as well.
"Can-- can you come down here?" he asks Jonghyun. "Please?"
"No," Jonghyun says. "keep talking." 
 "God," Taemin hisses. "fucker," he snaps. He rubs his hands into his flushed cheeks this time, running through a list of his priorities in his head. Looking out for himself and keeping himself comfortable is important, yeah, but so is Jonghyun, and making sure he doesn't lose Jonghyun is more important to him then being pushed out of his comfort zone for one conversation.
"Fine, but if I do this here then this is the only time I'll ever do something like this and you can't make me do it again," he calls. "This is a one-time-only event." 
Besides, he can tack this on to the conversation that they'll hopefully have after this about Jonghyun being unnecessarily mean to him. But first things first, they need to be able to get to that conversation.
"Do it, then," Jonghyun calls back. His voice is steady, challenging, but Taemin can see him shifting his weight, biting his lip. Well. At least he does feel bad about it. That's something. He isn't completely dismissing Taemin’s boundaries. Taemin takes a deep breath and tries again. For real this time. For all the marbles.
"I thought you were just joking, so it made me panic and push you away because." he swallows, clenches his fists so hard he actually feels one of the acorn stems pop through his skin, hisses and whips his hand out of his pocket. Pinching the tiny little wound, a bead of blood rises out of it and he quickly covers it with his thumb before he gets all woozy about it. Focus. 
He notices that Jonghyun’s mom has moved to the other side of the door, so the two of them look like they're flanking him, all three of them arms crossed, and that almost makes him even more woozy. He forces his eyes back to Jonghyun. Focus.
"Because I. I feel. About you. And when I thought my feelings were real and yours weren't, I--"
“You feel what about me?"
God, Jonghyun really is perfect for him. All his life Taemin has wanted someone that would cut through his bullshit and help him get his thoughts out clearly. He just wishes that it was as easy as he always dreamed it would be instead of how this is right now, sweat soaking his back, blinking so fast it's like he's his own personal strobe light. Maybe it'll get easier with time. Maybe that's the idea.
 Fuck, he sure hopes so. 
"I feel so-- so much. About you," he says. He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders, trying to think of all of the things that Jonghyun makes him feel and coming up with so many that they all mix and blend together into one cohesive mass that he can't pluck one specific thing out of. "I look at you, and I."
He looks at Jonghyun, and feels how Jonghyun makes him feel, And his face breaks into a smile, His lungs push out an enamored breath, and his body relaxes just enough for his heart to get out of his throat and swell in his chest Instead. "I feel--" he starts.
 Then Jonghyun's left neighbor opens their window.
 Loudly. And slowly.turning the squeaky crank deliberately, plastic blinds clacking together, until it's all the way open. And when they finish, they lean out of it, chin in their hand, and look at him.
 Casually, pleasantly, like he’s a fucking street performer or something. 
Taemin looks back at them, mouth open. What the fuck. He looks at Jonghyun, gestures at them, looks around to see if there is literally anyone else around here that they could actually be looking at. 
He doesn't find anyone behind him, but on the sidewalk, he finds a whole family, mommy and mommy and two 5 year olds all on matching scooters, stopped with every eyeball also on him. 
"Jesus fucking Christ," he mutters. He lives in clown town and he's the main fucking attraction. Wrenching his eyes back up to Jonghyun, all he sees is raised eyebrows and smirking lips and he scowls. "Okay, fuck you too," he snaps. All Jonghyun does in response to that is smile wide, bright, dazzling, and lick his lips, nod at him in an order to keep talking. Taemin sighs loud and mucousy in the back of his throat and then decides to just rip the bandaid off and say it. 
 "I," he says confidently, "am," he says loudly, "i-in," he says noticing the neighbor downstairs and to the right of Jonghyun looking through their own window, "love with you," he says quietly, face on fire. and then, because he knows Jonghyun well tell him to say it louder anyway, repeats himself in a loud rush: "I am in love with you!" 
And then quickly puts his face in his hands and crouches down in the dirt for a moment as the family on the sidewalk actually cheers.
Then he pops back up before anyone else can say anything, including Jonghyun, who’s smile has changed into the one where the corners of his lips disappear behind his cheeks and his eyes glitter behind his lashes. 
Taemin knows that smile so well, and he knows what it feels like inside of himself, and underneath all of his embarrassment and anxiety and shyness, he feels it now, repeating that confession over and over in celebration.
"And I've been-– like that with you for a long time. And so I thought you were joking and I brushed you off because I couldn't make myself believe that you felt that way about me back. But then, that made you confused. Because you thought-–" Their argument flashes through his mind again. "because you thought I wasn't taking you seriously. and you couldn't make yourself believe that I cared. And I am so sorry about that." He is so sorry that he ever did anything to make Jonghyun feel that he didn't care about him. 
"But," he continues. "you said this-–" he flaps his hand back and forth between them two mean their friendship, then remembers he stabbed himself earlier and presses his thumb back into his palm– "I want to be worth it," he says. "I want us to make it worth it. Together." he doesn't care how hard it is. He cares about Jonghyun so much and if he has to stay up all night talking with him to make it work then he'll do it. "because," and then, still blushing, he repeats for good measure, "I love you." 
 One of the kids on the sidewalk cheers again. 
Jonghyun stays quiet, looking at him, smiling at him, tongue between his lips. Taemin stays quiet too because he feels like he made his point and he also feels like if he said any more then he wouldn't shut up. Eventually, Jonghyun gets his forearms off of the banister and pushes himself up with his hands there instead, biting his lip before saying, "You really figured all of that out in an hour, huh?"
"Yeah, well," Taemin says. "Yeah." he brings both hands up together to push through his hair. It was honestly wild to figure out both Jonghyun’s feelings and his own in an hour , but he always has worked best under pressure. "Now you say it back." he demands. Sternly. Definitely without pouting. No matter what anyone else watching might say.
"What?" Jonghyun says blankley. 
"Say you love me back, Jonghyun!" Taemin says, definitely in a very strong and clear voice that is not at all whiny, and definitely without stomping his foot into the dirt like a child. The whole fucking reason that they got into that argument in the first place was that Jonghyun was trying to lead into a confession, and if he's not even going to-–
"You tell him."
 "Wuh?" Taemin turns, baffled, at a voice from the sidewalk. The family is still there, but now there’s some elderly gay there also, grizzled and grumpy looking, leaning on his walking stick and looking right at him.
"You tell it to him good, kid," he says. "Don't let him play you. He needs to be honest too." and he taps his walking stick on the ground with much more authority than Taemin thinks he will ever have.
"Uh," Taemin says, still baffled but at least glad that this nosy asshole has a point that he can use. He whips back to Jonghyun, pointing at the old gay loudly. "Yeah," he says. "Yes. Yeah! Say it back. Tell me you love me and you weren't joking!" He demands loudly. "Please," he adds, quieter, sheepish, because he immediately feels bad about yelling. 
"OH!” Jonghyun exclaims, eyes wide. He giggles, tapping his temple with the heel of his palm and rolling his eyes. "Yeah, right, of course. Taemin." he takes a deep breath, steadies himself, widens his stance, and gets his face into something more serious. Or at least, is trying to fight down his smile.
"I am in love with you back," he says, and Taemin instantly inflates with the happiest breath he's ever breathed. "And I was never joking," Jonghyun continues. "Never ever. Never ever ever. And I'm sorry that I was so harsh with you when we were arguing," he adds. He has more of a sad smile now, guilty, regretful, which again, Taemin appreciates. "I really crossed a line. But I want to work on that and with you." He flaps a hand back and forth between them the same way Taemin did earlier. "To make being with me also worth it."
And then he falls silent, having made his point. Taemin looks up at him, and Jonghyun looks back down at him, and both of them just look at each other for a long while. Taemin bites his lip, feels His heart thudding throughout his entire body.
 "Okay," he says.
"Okay," Jonghyun says.
 "Okay," Taemin smiles.
"Okay," Jonghyun beams.
"Kiss him!" One of Jonghyun’s neighbors calls. Taemin doesn't even know which one because there are so many fucking people watching them by now. This is the worst possible place he could have picked for a confession, but he's here now, and honestly, the hard part is over. Talking about his emotions is awful. Kissing is easy. 
Besides, for the first time, Jonghyun is blushing, pink over his nose. For the first time, Taemin smiles confidently and raises his brows up at him. 
"Will you come down here now?" he asks. Jonghyun blushes harder, but he bites his lip and nods, turning to slip through his mom and his sister, hands coming up to his face. Taemin smiles at his back, then looks down at his hands, then remembers again that he stabbed himself with an acorn. "and can you bring me a Band-Aid?" he calls hopefully.
"Yeah," Jonghyun calls back from halfway through his house.
And then it's a minute or two of Taemin just standing there, in the dirt behind this apartment complex, trying very hard to pretend that he doesn't have at least 10 people watching him, before Jonghyun comes down the steps a few windows down and jogs up to him. 
"Hey," he says, and "hi," Taemin says, and then they just stand there, both of them, smiling, blushing, blushing and smiling. Jonghyun picks up his wrist and Taemin shows him his hand, the little pinpoint cut that had stopped bleeding by now but pops and starts again when he squishes it to demonstrate."Ew," Jonghyun mumbles. He pulls out a little disinfectant wipe and a tube of medicine, and he very gently cleans and bandages the wound with a small circle Band-Aid with a puppy on it. 
Then he kisses Taemin’s hand, lips touching only the Band-Aid, and then he just holds Taemin’s hand in both of his, under his chin, smiling at him, blinking at him through his lashes, expectant in a way that takes Taemin a very long time to understand. He's just too busy getting lost in Jonghyun’s gorgeous brown eyes to think about anything else. Eventually, though, he remembers they're supposed to be kissing, and with a start, he says, "Oh! You want me to kiss you?"
"Yes," Jonghyun says, bouncing down and up once like it should be obvious. Taemin blows a lot of air through his lips, shrugging.
"Well, I don't know," he says. "You're the one that's always talking about, like, how forward you are, and how you like initiating things, and, like. Like you're an extrovert, and you're outgoing, and you always say you're an Aries like that means something. And I figured, I don't know, you were the one that was trying to confess to me in the first place, so maybe you're the one that wanted to kiss me first, and like…." 
He's rambling. Taemin knows this. He's rambling so quiet and fast and disjointed that he barely even knows what the fuck he's talking about, and it occurs to him while he's doing it that he could just be kissing Jonghyun instead. So he does that. He stops mid-sentence, cups Jonghyun’s face with both hands, and presses their mouths together. 
Applause erupts from all around them, but in his hands, Jonghyun’s cheeks push his thumbs up, and that's all that Taemin is going to focus on from here on out.
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btssavedmylifeblr · 5 years
Text
Void - Part 5 (M)
Tumblr media
title banner by @jiminiethot♡
Genre: Sci-fi with a little angst and a LOT of smut
Pairing: BTS x Reader (yup - all seven)
Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.
Word Count: 12.9k
Part 5 / ?
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Warnings: explicit sexual content, slight degradation, angst
Raindrops pitter-patter against the windows of the office. Thunder rolls in the distance. The secretary ignores you, typing rapidly on her keyboard and refusing to make eye contact.
You fidget with your hem, pulling it down over your knees, uncomfortable in the first dress you've worn in months. The sky is dark. The air is humid but cold from the air conditioner running full blast in the corner. It's August, but the secretary has a sweater and jacket on. She came prepared, unlike you, shivering in your sleeveless charcoal suit-dress.
The phone at her desk rings and she picks it up. "Yes, she's here," she replies to the man on the phone, then looks over at you. "The Director will see you now." She gives you a pitying smile, gesturing to the door beside her.
You stand up and draw your shoulders back, adjusting your skirt one more time. Your heels clack loudly against the tile floor, a contrast to the more comfortable training sneakers you usually wore in this building. You hesitate at the heavy oak door, wondering if you should knock.
"You can go on in," the secretary says, trying to encourage you. You give her a small smile and a nod before turning the door knob.
______________
Ringing sounds fill your ears. The voices around you muffle and the edges of your vision darken. Your knees crumple.  As your knees are about to hit the floor, thin arms catch you around your middle and Hoseok’s warm chest presses against your back.
“Easy,” he says. “Sit down.” He lowers you gently to the floor. “Head between your knees.”
The cold aluminum floor is reassuringly solid beneath you. You bend forward, lowering your head to your legs. Hoseok squats next to you, placing his hand on your lower back.
“Breathe,” he insists.  His hand slides up your back. “Inhale.” The hand moves down again. “Exhale.”
The ringing in your ears begins to abate and your vision clears. Yoongi squats down opposite Hoseok.
“Jin,” Yoongi radios. “We need you by the sleep pods. She’s fainted.”
“I haven’t fainted,” you grumble, resenting sounding like a Victorian lady without her smelling salts.
All the sleep pod doors whoosh open around you. Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin spill out with various degrees of confusion and worry on their faces, clustering around you on the floor. Jimin’s still clutching the bloody towel to his nose.
“Is she okay?” Jungkook asks.
“I’m fine!” You wave your hands in frustration, trying to get them to back off, claustrophobic from being surrounded by these fussing men.
“We need to get her to the infirmary.” Yoongi moves toward you, arms reaching for you, but you flinch away.
“Back off, Yoongi.” Hoseok places himself between the two of you.  “I’ve got her.” Yoongi’s mouth opens, as if to object, but as he scans Hoseok’s face, he falters. He closes his mouth then retreats.
“I need to talk to Namjoon,” you argue, trying to stand. You have to stop the video transmission. But the moment you get your feet under you, the world tilts again.
Hoseok intervenes. “Apologies,” he says as he scoops you into his arms. You want to object, but Hoseok’s so solid around you that you don’t have the heart. You rest your head against his chest and he’s already moving.
“Jin, meet us in the infirmary,” Yoongi radios as he and the others trail after you.
______________
The Mission Director has his back to you as you enter, examining something on the computer in front of him. You wait. He starts typing something. "Just one moment," he mutters, followed by "you can close the door."
You shut the door behind you and wait, shifting between your feet, wondering if you should have worn shorter heels. Perhaps these were too feminine. Professional attire was a nightmare. You needed to be attractive and presentable, but couldn't be too sexy or too girly. You much preferred your training jumpsuit.
“Please take a seat.” The director turns around and gestures to the chair in front of his desk.
You sit on the edge of the chair. Now is not the time to get comfortable, your whole future rests on what happens in this room now.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news.” The Director takes off his glasses, cleaning them with his tie, and clears his throat. "I'm sure Miss Lee has already spoken to you." You nod. "But she withdrew from the mission yesterday."
Your colleague had called you in tears last night, begging you to forgive her for pulling out of the mission. Of course, you couldn't blame her. It was too much to ask someone to leave Earth for twelve years if their heart wasn't in it. And Dianna's heart was decidedly stuck on Earth. This is why you don't date people. You assured her of your forgiveness, but now your team was down another member.
The Director sighs and you know he's preparing to deliver the blow that will crush all your hopes and dreams. "So that means the women's crew is now down to five. It's just not enough people to properly man the Minos."
What an ironic choice of words. As if they had ever really planned on letting your team "woman the Minos". While the ICSE had made a big show of preparing both a men's and women's team for the mission so they could appear fair and unbiased to the media, the men's team had always been better trained and better funded.
"You could recruit more women." You can't let him squash everything you've worked for so easily.
"There aren't enough women with the proper training." The Director continues to make a big show of cleaning his glasses so he doesn't have to meet your gaze. "And it would take too much time to train them now."
It's bullshit. There weren't enough women with the proper training because the ICSE hadn't recruited enough in the first place. They started with over 30 male trainees, but only 10 women. More men had dropped out along the way.
"I thought the men's team was also incomplete." You were up all last night mulling over what you could say to prevent him from canceling your mission.
"We have seven highly qualified men. They've shown great group cohesion in training scenarios and have bonded well as a group. They'll be a stellar crew for the Minos."
You cringe at the way he speaks as if the decision is already made. You can see your dreams of space slipping through your fingers with each passing moment.
But then the Director adds, "They just need a biologist and they'll be ready."
"I'm a biologist." You feel a pang of remorse that you are so easy to abandon the other women you’ve trained with for years. But they would understand. One of you going was better than none of you going. And you were the only biologist.
He looks up, squinting at you. You let the awkwardness linger until he looks away again, shuffling the papers on his desk. "We already have several promising candidates."
Several promising male candidates. "Are they trained yet?"
"Well, no, not yet." He shifts in his chair.
"You're delaying the mission timeline then?" This was your way in, just keep it all about the good of the mission.
"Well..." He frowns. "We would have to delay either way, neither the men's or women's teams will be ready for our original timeline."
"Send me with the men." You lean forward in your seat. The Director opens his mouth to object, but you cut him off. "I've been training for over two years. I have a PhD in Biology with research experience in both Astrobiology and Botany. I've logged 300 hours in the mission simulator. You won't find another candidate with better qualifications."
But the Director just shakes his head. "We think it's a bad idea to send mixed gendered crews."
_____________
The “infirmary” is a fold-out cot in the corner of the kitchen, along with some basic medical instruments stashed in the walls.  The ICSE couldn’t waste precious space on a room that would almost never be used. Luckily, you were all healthy young people and there weren’t any other humans to contract contagious diseases from.
The whole crew received emergency medical training as part of the pre-flight preparations, but Jin had the most experience, having worked as an EMT to pay his way through college. He’d been elevated to de facto medic for your crew in addition to pilot. The trip has been uneventful so far though. Jungkook sliced open his palm with a screwdriver once and Hoseok had a month where he was barfing every time the gravity turned off, but that’s about it.
Jin rushes in ahead of you and Hoseok to unfold the cot, which Hoseok gingerly sets you down on. The rest of the crew hovers in the doorway.
“Hoseok,” Jin mutters as he takes your wrist in his hand to check your pulse. “I hate to say this, but I need you on the bridge.”
“But-” Hoseok objects, then stops, mouth flattening into a frown. He looks at you.
“It’s okay, Hoseok.” You muster the best smile you can, despite the trembling in your hands. “I’m alright. Thank you.”
Hoseok nods and leaves to take over command of the bridge.
“And the rest of you.” Jin turns to the others. “You’ve been confined to quarters.”
A chorus of objections meets this statement, all the men arguing, shaking their heads and looking at you. None of them budge. Jin frowns, but turns back to give you his full attention.
“Do you know where you are?” he asks, taking your chin in his hand and scanning back and forth between your eyes.
“Yes.”
He arches an eyebrow. “I’m going to need to you to be more specific.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m on the Spaceship Minos. The year is 2072. We’re just under 200 million kilometers away from Earth,” you recite in monotone. “I’m fine, Jin. Just a bit of a panic attack.”
“The only way to diagnose a panic attack is to eliminate all other potential causes.” Jin argues. “Now, follow my finger with your eyes.”
“I need to talk to the commander,” you object, but comply, following his finger with your eyes as it moves in a box around your peripheral vision. You need Namjoon to stop the emergency broadcast or the entire ICSE is going to see you blowing your crew member on camera.
Luckily, you hear your commander in the hallway only moments later.
“What are you all doing here?” Namjoon’s voice echoes through the corridor before he appears in the doorway. “Get back to your quarters immediately.”
There are no objections this time, just sullen glares and crossed arms as the rest of the crew slink back to their sleep pods. Yoongi lingers the longest, watching you.
“Jin and I will take care of her,” the commander says more softly. You bristle at the implication that you need any man to take care of you and scowl at the floor.
Namjoon enters the kitchen and you try to rise up off the cot, but are stopped by Jin's hand on your shoulder.
"Commander," you address Namjoon, squirming out from under Jin's hand. "you need to stop the transmission to Earth. Please."
Namjoon frowns and gestures for you to take a seat. You stop squirming.
"It's standard protocol to send all footage back when there's an altercation,” he says. “So the ICSE knows what's going on."
"But can't I just tell you?” you plead.  “Do they have to see it?"
Jin is still fussing over you, getting out the stethoscope. "Deep breath in," he says as he places the cold metal disc to your chest. You breathe in.
Namjoon scans your face. ”What is it that you don't want them to see?"
Your heart beats faster.
"Namjoon," Jin interrupts. "Can’t the interrogation wait until after she's stable?”
"I'm fine, Jin,” you try to argue, pushing his hands away from you.
"Your heart is racing and you're sweating," Jin argues. He opens a cabinet in the wall to fish out a new machine.
"Jin!" you object. "I don't need the freaking EKG!"
"Yes, you do!" he insists, pulling the electrodes from the wall. "Don't make me give you a sedative."
You sit still, but keep your eyes focused on the commander. ”Please, stop the transmission, Namjoon."
Namjoon thinks for a moment, hand on his chin. ”Alright.” He nods and you breathe a sigh of relief. "I'll pause it, pending investigation. I don't know how much will have gone through already, but I'll wait to decide about the rest until after we've talked."  Namjoon gets up to leave. "Let Jin check you out while I go send some messages."
"Can you lie down?" Jin asks as the commander disappears into the hall. You nod, scooting down onto the cot and closing your eyes. The beeping of your heartbeat on the EKG monitor finally begins to slow.
_____________
"We think it's a bad idea to send mixed gendered crews." The Director pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.
"I've been training alongside those men for years!" you argue. "I've known Hoseok since college."
"You and Officer Jung went to school together?" He shuffles his papers, looking for confirmation.
"We did." You’ve known Hoseok the longest of any of the fellow trainees. You ran in the same circles in college, never close but always friendly. You don't know the other men as well, but they have all been polite and professional in your trainings together.
"Do you two have romantic history together?" The Director raises an eyebrow in suspicion.
It takes every fiber of self-control in your body to not stand up and walk out. "No." You fight to keep your voice steady even as your hands begin to shake with rage. Why was it the assumption that you must be sleeping with your fellow trainees? "Hoseok and I have always had a strictly professional working relationship."
The Director shakes his head like he doesn't believe you. "The dynamics of mixed gender crews are complicated." He doesn't elaborate.
"In what way, sir?" You're not going to let him squash your dreams just because the conversation is a bit awkward. If he's going to fire you for your sex, then he better damn-well spell it out. At least then you'd have something to take to the media.
"Well there's the issue of sex." He wrinkles his nose in distaste that you've finally made him say it and starts cleaning his glasses again.
"Are you saying the men you hired for this mission aren't professionals?"
"No, no, they are stellar candidates."
"Are you saying I'm not a professional?"
"No, no..." He shakes his head as beads of sweat break out on his forehead. "But even when everyone is a professional, one can still get distracted by attraction."
"Are you saying men can't be attracted to other men?" You lean forward, seeing the corner you can back him into before he does.
"No," he sputters. "But none of our men are..."
"Have you asked them that?"
"No! No!" His eyes widen. "Of course not! That would be illegal."
You nod, letting him stew in the implications of his statement a little longer. "So it seems that attraction could be a problem with any crew, regardless of gender."
He frowns, looking at the wall behind you, racking his brain for a new excuse. He finds one. "If the crew is all the same sex, there is no risk of pregnancy."
"So it's the risk of pregnancy that prevents me from joining the men's crew?"
"Yes, yes, that's right." He begins to relax, like he finally thinks he's found a reason you can't go. "There's no medically safe or economical way to prevent pregnancy for that long."
"So if I was sterile, then I could go?"
He sits up taller in his chair, taken aback. "But you're not…” He turns to the computer to check your medical file. “Are you?" He has underestimated just how much you're willing to give up for this mission.
Thunder rolls in the distance as you realize your only option. Your dream of space calls more than the dream of being a mother. It's only with a small painful pang that you reply, "I'll get a tubal ligation. Then there's no reason not to send me."
"What? We couldn't possibly ask that of you." He stands up. You stand up too, seeing your chance to exit this conversation on top.
"You're not asking. I'm doing this of my own free volition. I'll take a couple weeks of medical leave, then come back, ready to join the mission on schedule." You begin to back toward the door. "If that is alright with you, sir." You make a show of deferring to his final say, even though you've really left him no choice at this point.
He looks stunned. "Um, yes, okay. I guess that will be the plan then."
You smile. "I look forward to launch, sir."
_____________
You lie on the cot in the infirmary for a long time, somewhere between asleep and awake. It must be the middle of the night by now, but Namjoon has left the gravity on. No one is sleeping until your commander has talked to everyone and rendered a verdict.
Jin has stopped fussing over you and is sitting at the kitchen table, reading something on his tablet. You're grateful for the silent company. He hasn't asked you what happened, just monitored your heartbeat.
"How is she?" Namjoon asks from the doorway.
"Fine." Jin stands up and you open your eyes. "Just a panic attack. All vitals are normal."
"So can I talk to her now, doctor?" Namjoon adds the teasing title and Jin smiles.  
"Yes, I'll get out of your way,” he replies, removing the electrodes from your back and chest and packing the EKG back into the wall. "Should I relieve Hoseok from the bridge?"
"Please." Namjoon nods and Jin heads out, leaving you alone with your commander in the kitchen. You get up off the cot and stand in front of it, not wanting to take what’s coming next sitting down.
Namjoon crosses his arms and sighs, scanning you up and down. It's good the EKG is no longer hooked up so he can't hear how your heart rate skyrockets. Has he watched the video by now? Has he seen you naked? Did he watch you moan and call out for your whole crew? You cover your torso with your arms as if you could block him from seeing through your jumpsuit.
Namjoon fishes into his pocket and pulls out the incriminating memory card, looking down at it and frowning. Your fingers itch to snatch it out of his hands and crush it beneath your heel. There's a deep shameful pain that he's holding all your most embarrassing secrets in the palm of his hand and you can't do anything about it.
"So if I were to watch this," he asks, turning the card over in his hands. "What would I see?"
You close your eyes and exhale. He hasn't watched it yet. He continues to be the thoughtful cautious man you have always trusted to lead this mission. Your hands tremble slightly as you resist the urge to collapse back onto the cot behind you.
"Um..." You have trouble gathering your thoughts. "I'm not sure how to explain it."
Namjoon nods. "Take your time. I've already asked the men involved."
"What did they say?” Your voice is higher pitched than you want it to be. How did Yoongi explain his way through this? How did it end up in Taehyung's hands? Why did Taehyung tell Jimin?
“They refused to tell me.” Namjoon rubs his hand over the crease in his forehead slowly. “Insisted that I ask you instead.” He turns the card over slowly as he looks down at it. “Yoongi had some choice words about how it was none of my business.” He looks up at you. “But it is my business if it’s causing fights among my crew members.”
"It's, umm..." Your palms begins sweating. “A sexual indiscretion."
Namjoon’s eyes widen. “With whom?”
“Um, Yoongi…” You shuffle your feet and look at the floor. “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow as he looks down at the little memory card.
““It’s a video of me” -you catch yourself about to start biting your fingernails and yank your hand away from your face- “masturbating. Yoongi filmed it.”
“Oh, I see.” A muscle in his jaw tenses, but he keeps staring at the card. ““So you and Yoongi are in a sexual relationship?”
“No.” You shake your head furiously. Namjoon finally makes eye contact and looks confused. “Not anymore,” you clarify.
“Did anyone coerce or pressure you?”
You shake your head again.
“Were you filmed without your knowledge?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” You swallow and look at the floor. “It was my idea.”
“It was your idea to film sexually explicit activities with our mission equipment?” Namjoon shakes his head in disbelief. “Why?”
You open and close your mouth to try to explain but can’t find the words. Nothing about this makes sense when you try to explain it now. Each step felt like it made sense at the time, but now you have no idea how you got here.
“How is Jimin involved in all this?” Namjoon tries again when the silence has lingered for too long.
Your face burns hot. “I was planning to give it to him.”
“Oh.”
You can’t bear to look up and see what your commander must think of you right now. The silence is unbearable.
“But I deleted it!” you stammer. “As soon as we filmed it, I deleted it. I never wanted anyone to see it."
“Then how did it get to Taehyung?”
“Yoongi must have made a second copy. Then Jungkook found it in the workshop.” You rub the back of your neck. “Not sure how it got to Taehyung actually.”
Namjoon frowns. “And what is in the ship's camera footage that you don't want sent back to Earth?"
You sigh and sag your shoulders in defeat. "Another, um, sexual indiscretion. In the greenhouse."
"With who?"
Fuck. The fact that he even has to ask.
"Yoongi."
Namjoon sighs and sits down in a chair next to the kitchen table, rubbing his forehead. "You know that there's nothing wrong with having sexual urges. If you want to be in a relationship with Yoongi, that's okay."
“It is?” You ask, before crossing your arms and adding. “But I don’t.”
"The ICSE knew this was likely to happen. Well,” he chuckles softly under his breath, “maybe not this exactly. But you can only keep people together in confined quarters for so long before ‘indiscretions’ happen."
You frown as you imagine your mission director’s smug face as he knowingly nods along with your commander. He smugly grins at the other directors and says “I told you mixed gender crews were a bad idea,” as they crowd around their monitors, watching you get down on your knees for your flight engineer.
“It won’t happen again.” You grit your teeth. “I promise you that.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows lift upward in surprise. “It’s okay. As long as everything is consensual and kept to your personal time. The ICSE has no say over our personal lives.”
“Oh.” You fidget with the pockets of your jumpsuit. It can’t be that easy, can it? He’s wrong. The ICSE has say over everything. It’s not like you can just choose to leave. You sigh in frustration. “It’s not that easy, Namjoon. What about the rest of the crew?”
Jimin’s “you could have me if you wanted me” flashes through your mind followed by Jungkook’s “I think I’m in love with you.” Does Namjoon even know all the problems your mistakes have unleashed?
Namjoon stands up again.  “Look, what I can’t have is secrets. You saw what it did to us today. Sex is fine. It’s the lying and secret keeping that will destroy us. You need to decide what you want to do, and then you need to disclose it to the rest of the crew.” You open your mouth but your question dies on your tongue. He seems to sense it anyways. “We’re all grown men and we can suck it up.”
You nod, heat licking up and down your neck.
Namjoon begins bringing this conversation to an end. "If you want to engage in a sexual relationship, there is a form that needs to be sent to HR, indicating that everything is consensual. And the crew needs to be informed. But other than that, it's entirely up to you to decide what you want to do. When did the indiscretion in the greenhouse occur?"
"Yesterday evening,” you reply. “After the group meeting."  
Your commander frowns, stroking his chin. ”I have to send back all the footage of the altercation, but I don't need to send back any of the rest. Though I don't know how much went through before I stopped it."
"Thank you, commander." Your heart floods with gratitude even as the unease in your stomach lingers.
He crosses his arms. “This isn’t over. You violated protocol and endangered our mission. I need to see all five of you in my office. Now.”
__________
You haven’t been in the commander’s office since your first tour of the Minos, back when it was still in orbit around the Earth. The commander is the only person who has a real bedroom, though it still isn’t all that big. With you, Yoongi, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung all crowded in, there’s almost no room left. The five of you have to stand shoulder-to-shoulder to fit in front of his desk.
The desk is covered in papers. Namjoon has fashioned a chain of rubber bands stretching across the desk to hold his papers in their careful chaotic placement when the gravity shuts off.  His lone personal item, a small bonsai tree, sits in one corner and his sleeping bag is tucked away in the opposite side. Even your commander didn’t get an actual bed.
Namjoon leans against his desk, arms crossed as the five of you fidget in front of him. Jungkook keeps looking at you and then immediately looking away whenever you make eye contact. The rest have their eyes fixed to the floor, preparing for a reprimand.
Jimin’s nose has thankfully stopped bleeding and he has abandoned the bloody towel. Blue-purple bruising spreads across the bridge of his nose and under each eye. It looks swollen and painful and swamps you with regret. You may as well have been the one who punched him in the face with all your irresponsible decisions.
Namjoon draws in a breath and pulls his shoulders back.
“This situation is completely unacceptable.” His tone is the harshest you’ve ever heard it. “Secrecy. Brawling. Pornography.” The tips of your ears burn with shame. “I’m embarrassed about the report that I have to send to the ICSE.”  
The commander lets the guilt-filled silence linger as he stares each of you down in turn. Jimin sniffles through his swollen nose. You try to meet Namjoon’s gaze, but it hurts too much.
The commander sighs. “Sexual attraction is bound to happen. We’re only human. As long as it’s consensual, properly documented, and doesn’t interfere with your mission duties, sexual activity is fine. That’s not the problem.”
Jungkook raises a tentative hand into the air, looking for permission to speak. Namjoon nods.
“What does properly documented mean?”
“There’s some HR forms to fill out,” your commander explains. “Would have been simple.” The disgust in his voice makes you desperate to flee the room. “But instead you all chose to play games and keep secrets and have fistfights in the hangar. It’s unacceptable.”
Taehyung flinches at the way Namjoon spits this last criticism and Jimin sniffles again.
“All of you will be receiving disciplinary action.” Namjoon turns around and picks up a stack of papers from his desk, shuffling through them before turning to you. “Starting with our science officer, for misuse of mission equipment and conduct unbecoming of an officer, you will receive 48 hours confinement, an official reprimand and loss of a half month’s pay.”
You exhale in relief. Your fears of being locked in your quarters for the next six months dissipate and you almost feel like you got off too easy. The official reprimand was a black mark on your record, but light in comparison to your sex tape being sent to Earth.
Namjoon fishes into his pocket and pulls out the memory card once again. “You are to delete this file and return the empty card to me as soon as possible. The only reason I didn’t delete it myself was because I didn’t want you to think I had watched it.”
You nod in understanding and slip the drive into the pocket of your jumpsuit, still unable to meet your commander’s eyes.
“Chief Engineer Min,” Namjoon addresses to Yoongi. “For misuse of mission equipment and conduct unbecoming of an officer, you will also receive 48 hours confinement, an official reprimand and loss of a half month’s pay.”
What? That doesn’t seem right. You were the one who started all of this, you were the one who asked Yoongi to help you. He shouldn’t be getting the same sentence as you. Yoongi sucks in a breath through his teeth, but he bites his tongue and continues to stare at the floor.
“Payload specialist.” Your commander turns now to Jungkook. “For conduct unbecoming of an officer and failure to report misconduct, you will receive 72 hours confinement, an official reprimand and loss of one month’s pay.”
This time you gasp out loud. Jungkook shudders. “Permission to speak?” he asks and Namjoon nods. “Please Commander,” Jungkook begs. “My mom relies on that money.”
“Perhaps you should have thought of that before you went around sharing explicit videos of your crew members.”
Jungkook bites his trembling lower lip. “Isn’t there anything else I can do Commander?”
“Fine.” Namjoon crosses his arms. “Dish and commode duties for a month. And I’m still docking half a month’s pay.”
Jungkook nods. “Thank you commander.”
You want to object. Why would Jungkook’s punishment be worse than yours? It was your fault that he stumbled across your explicit video. Why were the men being hit so hard when this was clearly all your fault? But you keep your mouth closed.
“Payload Commander”- It’s Taehyung’s turn -“For conduct unbecoming of an officer, failure to report misconduct, and instigating a conflict with a crew member, you will receive the same as Jungkook, with the addition of mandatory weekly check-ins with a therapist back on Earth for the next six months.” Taehyung accepts his sentence without objection.
“And finally our Mission Specialist”- Jimin sniffles and looks up at the Commander-“For conduct unbecoming of an officer and endangering the lives of your crew members, you will receive one week in solitary confinement, weekly mandatory therapy, and the loss of two months pay.”
“Commander!” Taehyung objects.
“It’s fine.” Jimin shuffles his feet. “Probably deserve worse.”
“No, you don’t!” Taehyung sputters.
“Do you want to make it a month of solitary?” Namjoon’s deep voice echoes in the small space, but Taehyung stands his ground.
“If Jimin gets a week, then I should too.”
“Just stop, Tae.” Jimin’s voice cracks, but you can’t see his face and he remains resolutely facing the floor.  
“He didn’t endanger my life!” Taehyung continues to argue, gesticulating at the commander.
“Enough.” Namjoon cuts him off. "Did you forget that we live on a spacecraft?” His tone is incredulous. “Did you forget that only millimeters of siding separate us from the vacuum of space?”
Taehyung drops his arms to his side in frustration, but doesn’t object further.
“We are all alone out here. We have no one but each other. If something goes wrong, it could mean the death of every member of this crew. You’re lucky it was just a bloody nose. What if one of you had fractured a rib? You’d be dead. Or you’d be permanently disabled and unable to assist with the mission. Or you’d be in constant pain for the next twelve years with nothing we could do about it. It's a risk to the life of every person on this ship.  It's entirely unacceptable and no matter what you think you were doing, there is no justification for it. If I can't trust you to put that ahead of anything else, then I can't trust you to do this mission at all."
The whole room is silent. The mountain of shame inside you grows larger as you are forced to stew in all of the even worse repercussions that might have come from your lack of professionalism. It seemed entirely unfair that every man in the room had a harsher sentence than you, when it was all your fault in the first place.
"Dismissed." Namjoon ends the official reprimand. "All confinement begins now."
___________
48 hours is a long time to do nothing but stare at the walls of your sleep pod.
Solitary confinement means no computer, no work, no talking to anyone else, nothing to do but stare at the walls and regret your life choices. You had been able to kill ten minutes with the excuse that you needed to use your computer to delete the video off the memory card.  But you'd then had to hand over both the empty memory card and your personal laptop to Jin. You'd get the laptop back in forty-eight hours, but the pornographic video was finally gone.
You get a meal three times a day, delivered by Hoseok. His cheery "breakfast time!" and "lunch time!" greetings are the only way you can tell how much time has passed. If he is mad at having to do all your chores, he doesn't show it. You can hear Hoseok deliver all of Yoongi's meals too, but Yoongi doesn't get any cheerful greetings.
It would be easiest if you could sleep away the time, but the pod is not large enough to lie down when the gravity is on. You pulled down your sleeping bag and fashioned it into a donut on the floor that you can curl into and drift in and out of consciousness.
The chatter on the radio provides your only other source of information about what's happening outside your room. But it's much quieter than normal. Makes sense considering five of your eight crew members are sentenced to radio silence.  
It's long after Hoseok has delivered dinner that you hear a new noise. A soft tapping sound coming from the wall in front of you. You're tired and you shake it off, trying to sleep. But it's impossible to sleep now that the gravity is off and you'd spent all day dozing.
Two taps again. Then silence.
It's coming from Yoongi's sleep pod. You cross your arms and huff in annoyance. What is he doing in there?
As much as you blame yourself for what happened, you blame the flight engineer just as much. It may have been your idea to make the video, but you had thought better of it and deleted it, like a sensible person. It was Yoongi who had violated your trust and made a copy without your permission. It's because of Yoongi that Jungkook and Taehyung have now seen you naked. It's because of Yoongi that you now have an official reprimand on your record.
There's a loud thumping sound, followed again by two quick taps.
What is his problem? You kick the wall, trying to get him to shut up and go to bed. These walls are too thin.
But Yoongi takes that as a sign that you are finally listening. He taps several times in a row, then pauses and repeats the two taps.
What does he want? You turn your back and try to ignore him, but he keeps going. Pausing for 10 seconds or so, then tapping twice. Pause. Two taps. Pause. Two taps.
Two. As in channel two. You swear under your breath before switching your radio over to channel two, the channel for private conversations that you don't want broadcast to the rest of the ship.
"We're only supposed to use the radios for emergency purposes." You glare at the wall in front of you.
"I need to talk to you."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Look," he rushes, voice quiet but urgent."I know I'm an idiot. I never should have left that card where Jungkook could find it."
"Well, I agree that you are an idiot."
"I know, I know. But no one goes in there but me!"
"That's not the point, Yoongi! Why did you have a copy at all?
"What?" His voice pitches upward, feigning innocence. But you're not having it.
"You made a copy without my consent!"
"No, I didn't..."
"Yes, you did! Why else would it exist?"
"But I thought..." He trails off, sounding less confident than he did a moment ago.
"You thought what? You thought I wanted the whole crew to see my sex tape?" You pour all of your regrets into your frustrated whispers into your radio. "I deleted it so this exact thing would never happen! What the fuck is wrong with you?" You kick hard against the floor of your pod and go sailing upward.
Yoongi's anger flares in response to yours. "You didn't tell me you deleted it!" he fires back. "You said you were giving it to Jimin!"
"Oh." You have to brace yourself with your hands before you crash into the ceiling.
“And all our cameras automatically write to two SD cards. There is always a backup."
"Oh." You bounce up and down between the floor and ceiling slowly.
"The second card was already in the camera," he explains."I thought you put it there. I thought you knew.”
Your ears being to burn. That was an aspect of how the mission cameras work that you had forgotten about. “No, I didn’t.”
“Oh.” Yoongi pauses, though you can still hear his breath through the radio. "Well, I thought you did."
You are forced to face the uncomfortable sensation of suddenly feeling like you're in the wrong, while still being quite pissed about the whole thing. This can't be all your fault too. He can't talk his way out of this without even so much as an apology.
"No, no, no," you argue, shaking your head even though he can't see you."Don't you turn this around on me. You snuck that card out of the camera without asking me. You were all 'Don't worry. I'll put the camera away for you.'"
"I was trying to be nice!"
"You were trying to get some extra jerk-off material!" You whisper-shout into the radio, dropping your voice lower so that the rest of the crew doesn't catch on to your secret conversation. "You should have asked, Yoongi."
There's a long pause. "I thought you would say no."
"I'm done talking to you."
You switch off your radio and cross your arms. You hear him say something through the wall, but the sound is muffled by the kevlar that lines the walls and you can't make it out.
There are two taps on the wall again. Then a pause.
Then three taps.
Then silence.
__________
Namjoon calls to let you know your 48 hours are up and you burst from your pod, desperate to stretch your legs.  
Yoongi's door opens at the same time.
Yoongi looks the way you feel. His face is puffy and dark circles surround each of his eyes. His hair sticks up haphazardly. You make eye contact and he opens his mouth, licking his lips as if preparing to say something. But you don't give him a chance, spinning on your heel and heading for the kitchen before he can talk you into forgiving him.
To your annoyance, Yoongi follows you. You can't reasonably object to him also going in search of food. Hoseok never showed up with dinner.
You and Yoongi reach the kitchen to find Hoseok sitting alone at the table, munching on cereal and reading his tablet.
Hoseok looks up at the two of you and smiles. "Thank God its over!" he says. "I really need people to talk to. Jin and I have been on opposite shifts for two days and Namjoon's not been in a real chatty mood."
Both you and Yoongi chuckle half-heartedly. Neither of you are in a chatty mood either. You retrieve a box of cereal and a carton of powdered milk from the pantry, not wanting to bother cooking anything.
"I guess Jungkook and Taehyung have a day left," Hoseok continues, "and Jimin has five."
Yoongi has the same food plan that you do, so he stays in your personal space, reaching around you for his choice of cereal, hovering behind you at the water tap while you rehydrate your milk.
"Can't believe Namjoon put five crew members in solitary at once." Hoseok keeps trying to talk over the silent tension between you and Yoongi. "If it were me, I would have staggered them out so we weren't so short-staffed."
A large pile of dishes sits in the sink, unusual given the general tidiness of your crew. "Is that why no one's doing their dishes?" you ask.
"Nah." Hoseok shakes his head. "Namjoon said to leave them for Jungkook and Taehyung."
Yoongi and you both join Hoseok at the table with your cereal and the lingering awkward silence returns.
Hoseok finishes his cereal, but stays at the the table, looking between you and Yoongi. "Must have been something big to piss Namjoon off like this."
Yoongi chokes on his cereal, coughing. "Namjoon didn't tell you?"
Hoseok shakes his head. "Disciplinary action is confidential."
You and Yoongi make eye contact again. You really don't want to have to tell Hoseok what happened, but you're terrified of what Yoongi might say as explanation. Yoongi doesn't say anything. The only sounds in the kitchen are the aggressive munching of your cereals as you silently stand-off.
"So neither of you are going to tell me what happened?"
Hoseok looks at you, pleading with you to let him in on what's going on. But you can't say it.
"It's not a big deal," you say, gaze dropping to your cereal bowl. "Just a dumb misunderstanding."
Yoongi grunts and keeps eating his cereal.
"Not a big deal?" Hoseok throws his hands up in frustration. "Half the crew got thrown in solitary! I've been manning the bridge in 12 hour shifts with Jin and working overtime to cover for the rest of you and no one will tell me why!"
"We got caught fucking around okay?" Yoongi says, not looking at you or Hoseok, but staring intently into his cereal. "She's right. It's not a big deal."
Hoseok's eyebrows furrow. "Fucking around with what? Did you actually try that dumb moonshine plan?"
Yoongi sighs and looks at you. The confusion on Hoseok's face tears you apart. Even now, he still thinks it's all innocent.
"No, Hoseok," you confess. "We got caught having sex."
"Sort of," Yoongi mutters.
Hoseok's eyes widen and his mouth falls open. "Oh," he says, looking down at the table. "Oh, I see." Hoseok slumps back in his chair and looks back and forth between you and Yoongi. "So you two are, like, together then?"
"No," you rush. "No, we're not."
Yoongi stands up, tosses his cereal bowl into the pile for Jungkook, and leaves the kitchen.
Hoseok watches him go, frowning. "I, um..." he starts to say, but then trails off.
"Hoseok, I'm sorry." You want to apologize for everything. It feels like a betrayal and you're not even sure why.
"No, it's okay," Hoseok says, shaking his head. "I'm just surprised is all."
"We were never together," you try to clarify, but not sure how that makes it better. "It just happened once."
"Okay," Hoseok nods, but doesn't look at you. He stands up and adds his own dishes to the pile in the sink. "I'm going to go do some work."
You want to beg him not to leave. You want to beg him to stay and still be your friend and not judge you in the way you fear he is. But you can't find the words.
You finish eating your cereal alone.
__________
Despite being released from solitary confinement, you end up spending the next 24 hours almost completely alone.
Yoongi avoids you, sticking to his workshop. Hoseok goes back to spending most of his time in the lab working on the meteoroid samples, but you avoid him and spend your day in the greenhouse. You tell yourself that your plants need you, having been neglected for two days while the ship was short-staffed. But really you just can't face the tense silence between you and Hoseok.
You don't know why but it feels like such a betrayal. Part of you wants to explain yourself further, but you don't think that telling him you made a sex tape that has now been seen by half the crew will help you reestablish your professional friendship.
Lunch with Jin had been the lone bright spot in your day. He didn't demand you fill him in on what happened, nor treat you any differently, choosing instead to regale you with the saga of how he had to man the entire bridge for 12 hours while really needing to pee.
It’s a surprise when you arrive in the greenhouse the next morning to find Jungkook and Taehyung already there. They'd finished serving their time last night, but you had chosen to eat dinner in your sleep pod rather than face Yoongi and Hoseok again.
Both men turn to face you as you walk in. Jungkook is harvesting your pea plants and Taehyung is washing out some of your seed trays.
"Namjoon didn't assign you my chores too, did he?" You laugh nervously, still feeling guilty about the punishment they took because of your mistakes.
"No," Jungkook answers. "We, um, we wanted to apologize."
"And thought we could be useful while we did it." Taehyung adds.
"We're so sorry," Jungkook rushes before you can reply, setting down the harvesting tray and stepping closer to you.
Taehyung pauses his chores as well. "We really fucked up."
"We know it was unprofessional and exploitative and a violation of your privacy," Jungkook says. It's more formal than he usually speaks and you wonder how much of that he took directly from your commander.
"We should have just turned it in," Taehyung says,"or given it to you. We're so sorry."
Neither of those options sound great either. If they had turned it in, Namjoon would have still found out about your indiscretion. If they had given it back to you, then you would have found out they'd both seen it. But both of those options were still better than brawling with Jimin on the floor.
"Why did you try to show it to Jimin?" you ask.
Taehyung lowers his chin to his chest and looks at the floor. "I wasn't trying to show it to him. I thought he had already seen it and I asked him about it. I thought he was lying to me."
"Lying about what?"
Taehyung shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "I thought he was sleeping with you and hadn't told me."
"Oh," you reply. Yoongi did say at the start of the video that it was 'Jimin's video'. "Well, we're not," you clarify. "Never did."
"I know, I know." Taehyung nods. "Jimin had no idea what I was talking about. When I explained what it was, he demanded that I give it to him."
"So he wanted to see it?" You cross your arms over your chest defensively.
"No, no, no!" Taehyung shakes his head vigorously. "He didn't think I should have it, since, you know, I wasn't supposed to have it." Taehyung rubs the back of his neck, blushing. "He wasn't going to watch it."
"How do you know that?"
"We talked afterward. He said he wanted to give it back to you, but not watch it. But I thought at the time that he wanted to watch it. I didn't think he should see it if you hadn't showed it to him." Taehyung finally looks up at you, palms open wide. "I'm the one who fucked up, please don't blame Jimin. He was just trying to protect you."
You groan and roll your eyes. The last thing you need is your crew endangering the mission in misguided attempts to protect you. "I'm not some fragile creature in need of protecting. I'm your crew member. Treat me like a goddamn adult."
Taehyung and Jungkook both nod, looking appropriately chastened.
"Quit playing games and just be honest with me, okay?" you continue. "If you want to know something just ask."
There's a long pause. Both men look at each other, then resume their chores. You grab a clean seed tray from Taehyung and begin filling it with vermiculite.
"So are you dating Yoongi?" Jungkook asks after what he has deemed an appropriate period of waiting.
"No." At least they're trying to have a conversation.
"And you're not dating Jimin either?" Taehyung asks.
You shake your head.
"Why not?" Jungkook asks and both men pause their chores again.
"It's bad for the mission." You don't really believe yourself even as you say it though. Clearly 'bad for the mission' hadn't stopped you before.
"But Namjoon said it was okay for crew members to date as long as we're upfront about it," Jungkook says, focusing very hard on his peas.
You sigh. "Just seems like it's more trouble than it's worth." That feels more like the truth.
"What about, um, just sex?" Jungkook asks.
"I think it's best to keep things strictly professional. With everyone."
Jungkook nods, lower lip pouting slightly. "But aren't you lonely?"
"Yes."
"Me too," replies Jungkook.
There’s a long pause as three of you continue your chores.
“It’s okay.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. “If you wanted to be with someone.” He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. “Even if that someone isn’t, you know...”
He doesn’t finish the sentence but he doesn’t need to. Even if that someone isn’t him.
“Okay,” you reply. “Thanks.”
Would it be okay? If you just picked a man and dated him and everyone knew about it? Would they all just get over it? Was that the way to get everything back to normal?
"Well..." Taehyung brushes the dirt off his hands as he finishes wiping down the last tray. "We probably have to go scrub some toilets now."
"Thank you,” you call after them and they both turn around. “For your help with the plants."
Jungkook nods.
Taehyung takes a step back toward you. "Please, don't take my mistakes out on Jimin. He already blames himself enough as it is."
You nod, biting your lip as you mull over your last punished crew member, trapped in solitary for another four days.
_________
Every time you walk by Jimin’s pod, you feel a pang of guilt. It was all your fault he was trapped in that tiny box, unable to stretch out his legs, unable to talk to other people for a whole week. If you hadn’t asked him for porn in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Taehyung takes up vigil outside Jimin’s pod, probably working through whatever guilt he has about his own role in Jimin’s confinement. He can’t talk to Jimin, but he brings him his food at meal times and clean clothes.
Your guilt gets worse as you notice that Taehyung is returning to the kitchen with more and more uneaten food after each meal time with Jimin. Finally, on day six, Taehyung breaks.
“He’s not eating.” Taehyung drops the tray of food down across from you on the kitchen table. “And he won’t talk to me.” Taehyung looks up at you, eyes wide and pleading.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Can you talk to him?”
“Tae…” You shake your head. “He’s in solitary. We’re not allowed to talk to him.”
“Please?” Taehyung prostrates himself across the table. “I’ll make sure no one sees you.”
You frown. It’s a bad idea. But your guilt is getting the better of you.
Taehyung clasps his hands together and looks up at you. “I’m really worried.”
“Fine,” you acquiesce. “Meet me in half an hour at the sleep pods.”
And so you find yourself in front of Jimin’s pod, Taehyung standing guard at the end of the hall to spot anyone who might be coming this way.
You knock on the door.
“I told you I’m not hungry, Tae.” Jimin’s voice is muffled by the door.
“No, Jimin, it’s me,” you answer. There’s a pause and a rustling sound inside the pod, then the door opens.
Jimin looks pale and disheveled, the bruise on his cheeks and nose having turned from blue-purple to yellow-green. He blinks in confusion. “What are you doing here?”
You glance nervously down the hall to Taehyung, who gives you a thumbs up. “Can I come in?”
“Come in?” Jimin laughs in surprise.
“Taehyung is keeping lookout.”
“Okay, I guess.” He steps out of the way so you can climb into the sleep pod with him.
You’ve never been inside one of the sleep pods with another person before. Jimin presses himself up against the opposite wall as much as he can.
Your mind flashes back to an awkward evening in middle school where you were dared to spend seven minutes stuck in a closet with a boy you liked, all your friends gathered around outside. You and the boy had awkwardly stared at each other until the timer rang, neither being bold enough to do anything.
This feels like that.
“Um, hi.” You glance around, taking in the state of Jimin’s pod. He’d made a similar sleeping bag donut on the floor as you had in your own pod.
He tries to smooth down his hair. “Hi.”
“How are you?”
“I’ve been better.” He laughs nervously. “You?”
“Same.” You echo his awkward laugh. “Your nose okay?”
He shrugs. “Nothing broken.”
“Taehyung says you’re not eating.”
Jimin frowns. “He shouldn’t have bothered you about that. I’m fine.”
“You need to eat though. He’s right to be concerned.”
Jimin sighs. “I’m just not that hungry. It’s hard to be hungry when you can’t move around all day.” He bangs an elbow into the wall as he gestures and grimaces.
You sigh. “I think I owe you an apology.”
“For what?”
“For like, everything?” You give a sad exasperated laugh. “For asking you for porn, for making a sex tape, for involving you in all my shit.” You count off the reasons on your fingers. “It’s all my fault.”
“No!” Jimin grabs your hand to stop your counting out of your sins. “No, I’m the one who fucked everything up.” He squeezes your hand and it’s a warm contrast to your cold fingers.
You shake your head. “No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did!” he insists, not letting go of your hand. “I’m the one who gave you a sex tape first. I’m the one who insisted on stopping the meteoroid. I’m the one who got us all stuck here for another two years.”
“We were all involved with the meteoroid, Jimin. And none of us saw it coming.”
“But I should have!” He’s bangs his free hand against the wall behind him in frustration. “God, it’s elementary school physics. Newton’s third fucking law! I should have known.”
You want to argue with him about what he is choosing to define as ‘elementary school physics but that is beside the point.
He places a hand over his eyes and sniffles. The bruise stares incriminatingly at you from under his hand. It’s too much. Another broken man and it’s all your fault.
“I never should have come on this mission.” You let go of Jimin’s hand and fall against the wall behind you. “This was all a mistake.”
“Huh?” Jimin pulls his hand away from his eyes.
“I was never supposed to be here. There should have been only men here. They were right. They were so fucking right. Mixed gender crews are a bad idea.”
“What? No! Who told you that?” Jimin stands up straighter.
“The mission director.”
“Well, he’s dumb.” Jimin has forgotten his own tears at the sight of yours. He places a hand on your shoulder and it radiates warmth down your arm. “We all love having you here. It’d be such a loss if you weren’t here.”
You sniff, fighting back tears that prick at the corners of your eyes. “Yeah, a loss of sexual tension and dumb decisions. Not a loss to the mission.”
“Excuse you, I can have sexual tension with anyone.”
You give a teary smile at his kind attempt at humor, but it doesn’t dispel your deeper concerns. You lean your head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling to keep from crying. “I just can’t win. Either I’m a bitch for holding out or I’m a slut for giving in.”
Jimin gasps. “Who said that to you?” His hands clench into fists. “Mission be damned. I’ll kill him.”
“No, no.” You shake your head. “No one said that. Not like that. I just feel it. All the time. Sex is always there. Even when we never talk about it. It’s always lingering in the back of everyone’s mind. It’s exhausting.”
“Listen to me now.” Jimin takes both your hands in his. “I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I’m so sorry if I’ve made you feel like sex is all I was interested in.” He sighs and looks down at the floor. “I…” He swallows. “I like you.”
Just a hint of butterflies stir in your stomach, a response that only Jimin manages to get out of you. You tighten your grip on his hands.
“I’ve liked you for a really long time,” he continues. “I’m so sorry that I ruined everything for you.” He lets go of your hands and looks down at the floor, lower lip trembling. 
You place a hand on his cheek. “It’s okay, Jimin.” 
He places his hand over yours and holds it to the side of his face. “I swear it’s not just about sex, okay?” His eyes water as they bore into yours. “I really like you. You’re smart and you’re kind and only a little bit intimidating.”
You both chuckle softly, blush rising in your cheeks.
He mirrors your stance, taking your cheek in his hand. “Even if you didn’t feel the same way, I’d still want to be your friend.”
The wings of the butterflies in your stomach beat stronger as a million feelings wash over you all at once. Guilt, longing, resistance. But the strongest is the overwhelming desire to be closer to him. You run your thumb across his cheek as you gaze into his heartbreakingly sincere eyes. Maybe you could just be with Jimin. Maybe everything would be okay if you just made a choice.
“Gravity powering down,” Namjoon’s voice plays in your headphones, “in three…”
You step closer to Jimin, your hand sliding from his cheek down to the side of his neck. Jimin eases his hand to your waist, gripping your belt loop to keep you from floating away and uses the other to brace himself against the wall as you both prepare for the transition to zero-g.
“Two…”
“Be with me,” Jimin whispers, lips inches from yours. “We can do it properly, like Namjoon said, fill out all the forms and be official.”
His eyes lock on yours, and more than anything, you want to say yes. You want to give in and take some measure of comfort for yourself. He licks his lips and your heart begins to race. Here he is, the possible solution to all your problems, and you ache for him.
“One.”
You answer him with a kiss, both of you lifting off the ground at the same time, all the pent up nervous energy propelling you upward. And then Jimin has both arms around your waist and you’re pressed up against him, hand tangled into his hair.
“Yes,” you gasp against his lips before diving back in. It’s been years since you’ve been good and properly kissed and you’re going to make the most of it. He groans and tightens his grip around your waist, pulling your entire body against his. Endorphins flood your system as the two of you float in the middle of Jimin’s sleep pod, pouring all of your heartache and loneliness into each other.
A loud beeping in your ears breaks the moment. “Jimin, come in Jimin,” Namjoon interrupts. “Are you okay?”
“What?” Jimin breaks away from you and presses the push-to-talk. “I’m here, I’m fine.”
You have to cover your mouth to prevent the commander from hearing your breathless panting over the radio.
“The carbon dioxide levels in your pod just skyrocketed. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Was just, um, doing some exercise.”
You bite your lower lip to stop yourself from giggling. Jimin shoots you a mock-threatening look.
“Hang in there, okay.” Namjoon sounds genuinely concerned. “Only one more day. Take it easy.”
“Yes, commander.” Jimin nods and pulls his hand away from his ear, scooping you back into his arms and thoroughly kissing you all over again.
“I should go,” you say but almost take it back as Jimin begins kissing along your neck and below your ear.
“No…” Jimin whines against your skin, pulling you in tighter still. Heavy arousal knocks between your legs, startling you away from him. If you stay here for another second, you won’t be able to leave.
“The ‘exercise’ excuse only buys us so much time,” you argue. “They’ll figure out there’s two of us in here.”
Jimin rests his forehead against yours and pouts. “Promise me we can go get the forms from Namjoon as soon as I am out of here tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah, we will. I promise.” You give him one last kiss as you back away to the door.
He catches your hand as you scoot out the door into the hallway, pulling it to his lips. “See you tomorrow,” he whispers excitedly. Tingles run up your arm from where his lips brush your knuckles and it takes all your strength to not dive back into the pod with him.
“See you tomorrow,” you whisper and he smiles.
As the door closes, he mutters to himself. “Damn, I’m hungry.”
You look around for Taehyung, wanting to tell him that Jimin seems to be feeling much better now, but he’s not there. Maybe he went to bed after the gravity shut off. You climb into your own pod across the way instead, eager for it to be tomorrow.
__________
The next day passes too slowly. Fantasies of finally having a way to satisfy your desires and still do your job play through your mind as you wait for Jimin’s confinement to end. In an effort to save time, you whisper through the pod door for Jimin to meet you in Namjoon’s office, before heading there yourself.
Namjoon opens the door, looking surprised to see you. “How can I help you officer?”
You shuffle your feet. “I need one of those HR forms you talked about, the relationship forms.”
“Oh,” Namjoon startles and steps back into his office. “Oh yes, of course. Come in.”
You step into his office. He walks over to his desk and picks up his tablet, flipping through his files.
“Glad you’re doing it all above board this time,” he tries to joke.
You laugh nervously.
“Here it is.” He hands you the tablet so you can look over the form. “You just need to read that, and then we can get Yoongi down here so you can sign together.”
Your heart plummets into your feet. “Oh... No...” You shake your head as your ears burn with embarrassment. “Not Yoongi.”
“Oh!” Namjoon does a double-take. “Really?”
“Really.” You take a step back, suddenly worried that this is a bad idea.
“But I thought…” Namjoon pauses, then straightens his shoulders. “Who do you want to sign this with?”
You swallow. “Jimin.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows knit together. “Are you sure?”
Before you can respond, there’s a knock on the door, followed by Jimin’s voice calling to see if you’re already in there.
“Yes, I’m sure,” you answer before turning to open the door.
Jimin comes bouncing in excitedly. “Did you get the forms?”
Namjoon looks back and forth between the two of you, then sighs, nodding and typing something into the form on the tablet.
“So, you are signing these documents-” Namjoon holds up the tablet with the HR forms on it, now correctly labeled with Jimin’s and your names, “-signifying that you are in a consensual sexual relationship.”
You both nod, each stepping closer to see the tablet screen in Namjoon’s hands. Jimin takes your hand in his as he stands next to you.
Namjoon holds out the tablet and you both sign on your designated line. A flutter of nerves runs through you at how formal this feels. A weird fear floods you that your commander is about to pronounce you man and wife and you squeeze Jimin’s hand involuntarily. Jimin just looks at you and smiles, squeezing your hand back enthusiastically.
Namjoon sighs as he puts the table away, then straightens up as he lays down the ground rules. “No fraternizing during work hours and let’s keep the mission equipment out of it, please.”
You blush. Jimin squeezes your hand in reassurance.
“Yes sir!” he answers, nodding his chin dramatically.
“You should tell the rest of the crew.” Namjoon adds, with a pointed look in your direction. “Just so everyone’s on the same page.”
A mix of guilt and longing roils in your stomach as you imagine trying to explain this to Yoongi, or Hoseok, or Jungkook. But you were doing everything the way you were supposed to. You were being open and honest and true to the mission. You’ll just have to sit them down and tell them the truth. Hopefully you can all get past it and continue the mission as before.
But before you can even finish that thought, Jimin has his fingers on his radio.
“Attention loyal crew of the Minos,” he declares, pulling back his shoulders and thrusting out his chest. “This is an important announcement to notify you that the mission specialist and the chief botanist have begun an official romantic, sexual, relationship.” He drops his voice on the ‘sexual’ and wiggles his eyebrows at you.
It should be endearing, but it only makes the guilt in your stomach churn harder. You wish you could see the faces of the rest of the crew. Were they shocked? Confused? Upset?
Jimin wraps up his little speech with a “Thank you for your attention,” as Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you.
“Thank you commander!” Jimin says, squeezing your hand and marching for the door.
“Specialist Park-” Namjoon stops him,“-you know you have a whole shift on the bridge before you have any, um, personal time, right?”
Jimin frowns. He did not know that. Or had forgotten. He checks his watch and pouts. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then?”
“She’ll be on duty then,” Namjoon crosses his arms and leans against his desk.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t see you though.” Jimin argues.
“Why don’t you get some sleep after your shift and meet me at 1800, okay?” You squeeze his hand.
He nods. “Okay, fine.” He kisses you on the cheek before heading off to relieve Jin from bridge duty.
________
Jimin is already waiting for you when your shift ends the next day, standing right outside the greenhouse and counting down the seconds on his watch. You can see him through the glass of the door, but are trying to stay focused on your work until your official personal time. At exactly 1800, he bursts into the greenhouse.
“Woohoo!” He does an adorable little cheer as he runs up to you. “We’re officially off the clock!”
“Give me a second,” you tease as you wipe your hands on your jumpsuit.
“No seconds left,” he replies, wrapping his arms around you as you turn away from him to finish putting away your tools.  
“Jimin…” You feign at trying to wiggle free, but he just grips you tighter, pulling your hips back against his. “I’m all dirty.”
“Mmm… dirty.” He teases, nuzzling into the back of your neck and breathing in deeply. “You smell fantastic.”
Arousal begins to tingle within you and it’s a surprise that you don’t have to fight against it.
“God, I like you so much,” Jimin whispers into your neck. A hard nudge against your backside reminds you that maybe you need to fight it for just a little longer so you don’t end up fucking another man under the greenhouse cameras.
“Easy,” you chastise, “Let’s get somewhere private, yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jimin agrees, but decides to suck your earlobe into his mouth anyways.
The sleep pods are really the only option. It’s the only place on the ship without cameras. Luckily you have a few hours left before the gravity shuts off.
“Come on, let’s go,” Jimin says, as soon as the last tool is away, dragging you out of the greenhouse and down the hallway.
You get halfway down the corridor to the sleep pods when Jungkook and Taehyung walk out of the kitchen straight in front of the two of you. Chatter from the rest of the men carries from the kitchen doorway just a few meters down.  
“Hey Jimin,” Jungkook asks, “do you have a minute?”
Jimin looks at Jungkook then looks at you then looks down to where he is holding your hand. “No,” Jimin says laughing. “No, Jungkook, I do not have a minute just now. Important R&R time.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen as he gathers the full implication of Jimin’s words. The back of your neck heats up as both Taehyung and Jungkook eye the two of you up and down. You burn even hotter when you realize that all the conversation in the kitchen has stopped too.
“Oh shit, sorry.” Jungkook mutters, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the floor. “It can wait.”
Taehyung glances between the three of you and wraps an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s leave these two alone for now.” His voice is cheery and teasing, but the mirth doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Jimin squeezes your hand harder as you weave around the two other men and keep moving for the sleep pods. You can’t bear to look in at the men in the kitchen and turn your head as you pass.
Your nerves and regrets only dissipate when you close the door to Jimin’s pod behind you. Finally it feels like the two of you are alone.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jimin murmurs as he cups your cheek in his hand and pulls you in for a kiss.
Kissing Jimin continues to be as magnificent today as it was yesterday. His lips are soft and warm and the way he moans against your mouth has heat coursing through you. You wind your fingers into his soft dark hair and breathe in all the delicious pheromones rolling off his skin.
“I, um,” Jimin tries to speak in the gaps between your kisses, “I asked Jin to calibrate the CO2 monitors for two people.” His hand finds the top of the zipper to your jumpsuit. “So we should be good to go.”
Good to go. No more barriers or obstacles. You can finally fuck one of your crew members without repercussions. Is that it? It feels almost too easy. You just signed a paper and now you were fucking?
Jimin trails kisses along your jaw as he unzips your jumpsuit, pulling it down around your ankles and there’s very little left before this is actually happening. Then his own jumpsuit is down around his ankles too.
“Shit.” He grips himself through his underwear, cock bulging through the soft black fabric, just like in his video. “Do we need a condom?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Not like we have any anyways.”
“Oh right.” He’s pulling off your shirt and undoing your bra.
He pauses to admire you as you stand in only your underwear, palming himself through his briefs. “You’re perfect,” he whispers and kisses you again.
You’re having some trouble getting out of your own head. For something you’ve been waiting on for two years, this feels quite sudden. But it’s not like there were any dates you could have here. What would you do on a date? Go sit and stare at a room you have already sat in for a thousand hours? Surrounded by your crew?
You tug his shirt off in an effort to get your head back in the game. Those abs were still there. You run your finger along them and smile. Jimin flexes a little and you giggle.
He smiles proudly. “I’ve waited so long for this.” He strips off his briefs and stands naked in front of you. You reach out and take him in your hand, enjoying the weight and warmth of his erection. He kisses you again as his own fingers slip inside your underwear. “You’re so wet,” he whispers.
It’s a bit of an exaggeration. You are wet enough, but not dripping. But that is changing quickly as he circles your clitoris with his thumb. You tug down your underwear to give him more room.
He groans and kisses you again as he slides two fingers inside you, curling them up in a way that has you nearly buckling over with long-denied pleasure. He picks you up under your buttocks and wraps your legs around him as your back collides with the wall.
But the loud clang of you colliding with the wall of the sleep pod distracts you. Could the rest of the crew hear you right now? Were they all thinking about what you were doing in here?
“Can I?” Jimin pants, hard dick nudging against your naked core.
“Yes, yes.” You want him inside you, you want him to fuck you against this wall so hard that you just stop thinking about everything.
“Oh my god,” he groans as he slides into you. He gets a little stuck part way as you aren’t quite wet enough, but a few shallow strokes in and out get him slick enough to slide all the way in. “God, you feel amazing.”
It does feel incredible to be full again, to be fucked again. You moan at each thrust.
“Can I come inside you?”
“Yeah, yeah,”
“You’re on the pill?”
You pause before nodding. “Yeah.” It would be kind of a mood killer to explain your tubal ligation right now. You can have that conversation later.  You suppose there will be quite a lot of time with Jimin now to explain everything.
“Fuck, I’m too close.” Jimin grunts. “It’s been so long. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” you reassure him as he bounces you up and down on his dick. He feels amazing, has felt amazing.
“Come with me,” he pleads. He doesn’t have a free hand to touch you since he’s too busy holding you up against the wall, so you slip your own fingers down to your clitoris. He groans, resting his head on your shoulder. “Are you close?”
You were getting there, but weren’t quite there yet.
“Fuck, please, I’m not going to make it.” He fucks into you harder, getting more breathless. You speed up your hand, trying to get to the edge for him. He was working so hard.
You going to come for me? You close your eyes and hear Yoongi’s voice in your head instead.
“I’m close,” you moan out loud and Jimin gives a sigh of relief.
What a good girl. Yoongi whispers in your head as you use the memory to push you to your end. Such a slut for her whole crew. That’s it. I‘ve got you, little girl. Greedy little slut.
Your orgasm crashes over you just as Jimin goes rigid in your arms, spilling himself inside you. He gasps against your shoulder as he presses you hard against the wall. Endorphins flood your system and you feel like you’re going to collapse. Jimin’s legs wobble as he sets you down on the ground.
“Wow,” Jimin sighs as you both slide naked to the floor, limbs entangled in each other. “That was amazing.” He gives you a soft sleepy kiss. “I think the next twelve years of my life just got a whole lot better.”
Yup. Yoongi’s sarcasm echoes in your head. Twelve fucking years.
----
Part 6
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warsmith-38 · 3 years
Text
How I would do RWBY pt. 2
Season Two
Emerald and Mercury go to book store.
Try intimidating ex-White Fang owner.
He’s tense, but not impressed.
Adam walks in.
He shits himself.
Tries fighting.
Dies. Painfully might I add.
Emerald and Mercury banter. Adam just seems bored.
Cinder (teenaged, not adult) scolds them for 86ing the guy in such a public and possibly trackable way.
Adam assures them that they weren’t seen. He has practice in that sort of thing.
Torchwick is annoyed at working with these people but at least he’s getting paid a mint.
Cinder says that, with all of the stolen dust, phase two of plan can to be started soon.
Neo give her a look of ‘get over yourself, you chuunibyou.’
Meanwhile, back at the ranch.
More guests arrive.
Ironwood talks with Ozpin about world affairs.
Grimm populations and attacks are getting worse, but are still manageable.
Says that he has brought plenty of extra security in the form of Penny and a big amount of security robots and mechs.
More bonding scenes because reasons.
RWBY + JNPR have food fight because funny.
Velvet and Blake are closer than earlier and give little ‘anti-racism’ classes for Weiss.
Blake is friendlier with everyone now that she knows they wouldn’t kill her since she’s a faunus.
Ruby has taken on the role of mechanic for everyone’s weapons.
Jaune dominates wargaming night.
Ren and Fox try to help Ruby with her hand-to-hand skills (Yang is not a great teacher of such things)
Scene of properly meeting team SSSN.
Nice guys, but a little too uncoordinated in style.
Ruby ends up having a frustrated breakdown.
Gives WBY speech of how they have to get involved and screw the people telling them to sit down and let them handle the problem instead.
Blake is the first to go along with what she’s saying.
Yang and Weiss argue that this is not a good idea, saying that this sounds like Ruby just wants to go play vigilante again.
Blake says that Ruby has a point, nothing will get accomplished if they sit around doing nothing.
Weiss is the one that cracks next. Agrees that the authorities aren’t exactly inspiring confidence since the run in with Torchwick.
Yang finally gives in, if only to make sure Ruby doesn’t get herself murdered.
Ruby, in her excitement to actually be doing something, rushes out the door to get snacks and runs into someone.
That someone is Cinder.
Cinder, Emerald, Mercury, and disguised Neo (Team CEMN (Cinnamon (work with me here))) keep up the façade of Haven guests from canon.
Ruby almost immediately starts gushing over their cool weapons before being reined in by WBY.
Emerald pickpocket’s Weiss’ wallet and snags rich girl’s cash before putting it back.
Mercury and Yang have a very clear stare-down of ‘punching vs kicking, who will win?’
Neo and Blake…stare at each other (Adam is Blake’s Rival/Foil. Blake v. Neo is just pair the spares).
RWBY has made new friends. (The poor dears)
RWBY start their investigation.
Team SSSN turns up to help at the last minute.
Okay, sure, free help.
Blake and Sun try to find local White Fang schmucks.
Scarlet and Sage go off to do random shit.
Yang drags Neptune to Junior’s club to check the pulse of the criminal element of the city.
Ruby and Weiss dig up information at library place-thing.
They encounter Penny on the way.
Penny acts weird(er) and tries to bolt off.
Weiss agrees that Penny is suspicious as hell and, with all the happenings, that means that she could be a potential lead.
She lets Ruby go after her while she about her investigating alone.
Penny reveals to Ruby that she’s a mechanical maiden (Persona 3 is best Persona).
Ruby is VERY interested now.
Ruby already liked her as a person and now she knows that Penny is a person who is also a weapon.
Zero downsides.
Penny, happy to be accepted, let’s slip that she knows some crazy stuff is happening in the world.
Says that that’s why she was allowed to come to the tournament, as extra back up just in case.
Says that the communications tower is the most obvious target but might not be the actual target.
Can’t elaborate further because of Ciel and her bodyguards showing up.
Ciel gives Ruby the third degree on encouraging Penny’s truant behavior.
Ruby gives her the finger.
Ciel takes Penny away and Ruby gets back to work.
Weiss gets whatever information about the White Fang and Torchwick that isn’t classified, and a little that is, transferred to her.
Her older sister is a high ranker in the military and her father bankrolled a good chunk of said military.
Ain’t nepotism a bitch?
Yang and Neptune come up empty handed, but Yang got to pick another fight at the club before the cops showed up so she’s all good.
Neptune thinks that that’s all Yang went there to do in the first place.
Scarlet and Sage get captured by the White Fang. (They said they had fresh cookies, what were S + S going to do, say no?)
Blake leads Sun along a trail of breadcrumbs to a White Fang hideout.
Sees a recruitment rally going on.
Blake has a heart attack seeing who’s giving a speech.
It’s Adam.
Speech is an emotional call to arms against the cruelty of humanity.
Crowd is skeptical but still listening.
Reveals his brand.
Crowd is now enthusiastic to sign up for the White Fang.
Adam reveals newly stolen war-mech.
Says that they’ll test its power by executing Scarlet and Sage.
Blake spoils his moment by covertly revealing that Roman is the pilot of said mech (Neo is co-pilot).
Crowd turns against Adam for his hypocrisy.
Adam cheeses it.
Roman takes it on himself to attack Blake and Sun.
Scarlet and Sage are freed and take on the rowdy crowd.
While running, Blake and Sun encounter RWY and Neptune.
Sun and Neptune get good hits in but are btfo’d.
Scarlet and Sage find them and all is good for team SSSN.
RWBY has quasi-rematch against Roman + Neo.
Fight goes well.
Team CFVY shows up and stomps the mech.
Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!
RWBY celebrates a fight well won.
CFVY are pissed that RWBY would do something so dangerous and make them promise not to do things like this again.
RWBY lies through their collective teeth about not doing it again.
Get put on probation anyway.
Pyrrha and Jaune are having a moment together before Jaune ruins it.
Jaune admits that he lied and cheated his way into school due to impatience and lack of immediate combat skills.
He confesses all of this out of guilt and plans to turn himself in.
Pyrrha is actually rather angry at him.
1. for cheating to get what everyone else fought tooth and nail to earn the right to and 2. Putting the rest of his team at risk due to his inability to keep up with them in a fight and for associating them with a cheater/liar.
Not to mention lying to her face.
Says good riddance.
Cardin overhears and blackmails him into doing what he says or else he’ll narc on him and say that NPR knew and thus were complicit in the crime.
Jaune goes along with it while creating plan to oust Cardin and get him kicked from school.
Has conversation with Ren and Nora, both of whom are pissed at him.
Of course Pyrrha told them.
Jaune tells them that he knows he’s a piece of shit but also has Cardin to deal with.
Ren and Nora begrudgingly agree to help him get rid of Cardin.
Tells them his plan.
Plan proceeds to fail and Jaune ends up fighting all of CRDL alone.
Loses.
Grimm outside of their power-level shows up.
Jaune’s quick thinking and tactics get it killed.
Cardin is grateful and promises to keep quiet about blackmail. Even means it too.
CRDL is never a real issue again due to them actually realizing that it’s a very cuntish thing to bully the guy and/or the friends of the guy who actively saved their lives.
Jaune plans to give one last apology to his team before he turns himself in.
NPR say that they deliberated amongst themselves.
They have decided that Jaune doesn’t get to take the easy way out.
His penance is to train his ass off, night and day, to catch up to them on the physical level.
Jaune’s role is to be the strategist and that it’s his job to make plans that keep them all alive.
If he fucks up, they work his ass harder until he doesn’t fuck up.
They haven’t fully forgiven him, but they’re giving him a chance because they genuinely like him.
Jaune is touched by their compassion and promises make up for his mistakes.
Sparring day in class.
Jaune has match against disguised Neo.
Neo wins but Jaune starts to have suspicions.
Pyrrha and Mercury spar.
Pyrrha wins but Mercury now has valuable data on her overall fighting style and semblance usage.
Cinder and Ruby are last match of the class.
Cinder has fire powers as a semblance.
Has second semblance giving her bullet time.
Bullet time doesn’t work all that well against Ruby because of her super-speed.
Ruby gets some pretty good hits in. Kinda kicking Cinder’s ass.
Cinder then decides she’s done playing nice and goes on full offensive. Even starts to scare the crowd.
Times up!
Due to technicality, Ruby won the fight.
Aura cohesion (health bars) Cinder:48% Ruby:51%
Emerald and Mercury are blue in the face with fear of what Cinder might do, having officially lost a fight.
Cinder helps Ruby up, apologizes for going overboard, and offers to buy Ruby lunch the next day.
Ruby happily agrees to hang out with her newest friend.
Cinder later explodes at her hideout and incinerates a White Fang member that got a little too close.
Adam pretends to care. Doesn’t actually.
Ruby and Cinder become shockingly good friends (as far as Ruby is concerned).
Cinder explains the concept of a second semblance, confirming to Ruby that she’s a ten-percenter.
It’s somewhat rare, but it’s common enough that people know how it works and why it unlocks.
Great emotional duress.
She was raised in an orphanage that REALLY sucked.
She awakened both semblances pretty quickly and was snatched up by the authorities as soon as possible to be a huntress.
She’s mostly lying about the details but there is still the base truth.
Ruby tells her that she lost one of her parents too.
Summer just didn’t come home one day, being told she was killed in the line of duty by a lucky grimm.
She’s always thought that there’s more to this story, but doesn’t have the means to follow up just yet.
It’s part of why Ruby wants to be a huntress, to do her best to make sure that some other kid never experiences that kind of loss because of the grimm.
Cinder tells her that that’s not the worst motivation. (she means it more than she thinks)
Since Blake saw Adam at the rally she has become obsessed with analyzing all the data gotten during investigation.
RWY is worried.
Yang talks to her about it, giving the speech about her mother and the problems with obsession.
Blake talks about how dangerous she knows Adam to be. Is vastly terrified of him.
Yang reassures her that the team can handle that punkass.
4 on 1, let him try it. They’ll put the boots to him. Medium style.
Blake reluctantly snaps out of her funk.
Dance comes.
Everyone’s having a good time.
Pyrrha decides to properly forgive Jaune.
They kiss and, after a wacky JNPR argument because funny, so do Ren and Nora.
Insert the cool JNPR dance scene here.
Ruby is happy for her friends but notices some bullshit going on near the comm. tower.
Cinder is infiltrating it wearing something that actually makes it difficult to tell who it is.
Makes a big show of knocking the guards unconscious.
Places real obvious hacking device onto console.
Ruby comes in and shoots at her.
Cinder pops smoke and disappears.
Authorities arrive and (as far as they can tell) disable the hacking device.
Ruby is given a commendation for her actions and her team is taken off probation from earlier.
Upper echelon is pleased that enemy plot was foiled.
Exactly as the bad guys wanted.
Ozpin presses the doubt button.
Teams gets chaperone assignments.
JNPR requested a special Grimm bounty mission.
RWBY gets put on simple observation mission.
JNPR spends time tracking and eventually fighting nuckelavee grimm with Prof. Port.
Ren comes to terms with fighting the grimm that killed his parents.
Y’know, sub-plot stuff to relieve some main plot tension.
RWBY is sent with Dr. Oobleck into ruins to observe and document the growth rate of the non-hostile presence of the local *loud snoring*.
Actually sent near suspected White Fang supply depot with hope that they uncover it and fix problems.
Find it fairly easily after a little bonding moment or two with everyone.
Torchwick and Adam are in charge of train depot. (Torchwick gets the train, Adam gets the depot)
Ruby goes in on her own because she was told not to do things like that.
Ruby gets double-teamed by Roman and Adam. Neo watches like a little shithead.
Ruby fights like a demon but still gets bested.
Adam says that he is now bored and leaves Roman to finish up.
Oobleck and WBY show up.
Roman starts the train, tries to cheese it.
RWBY + Oobleck board the train.
Yang fights Neo.
Weiss fights masked White Fang member (later revealed to be Ilia).
Ruby and Blake fight Torchwick.
Oobleck fights the stormtroopers.
Neo, the crafty, dodgy, dexterity style, sly-bitch, kicks Yang, the brutish and blunt boxer, in the ass.
Raven pops up through a portal.
Neo am-scrays after almost getting her shit pushed in.
Raven says a scant few things to Yang and leaves her a trinket and a map, telling her to follow it when she can before leaving.
Weiss wins her fight.
Blake and Ruby kick Roman’s ass.
Discover train is full of dust explosives to blow up a chunk of Vale and let the grimm through in droves.
Was originally intended to be deployed before explosion but Roman decides ‘fuck it’ and tries to turn it into a kamikaze run at the last minute out of spite.
Oobleck disconnects the explosive cars.
Train still rams hole into central Vale.
Grimm incursion.
RWBY fights as best they can.
Almost get overrun when Teams CFVY, SSSN, and CEMN show up to help.
CEMN only involved because evil plan failed and they want to try and clean up any possible evidence.
Neo (in disguise) tries not to be obvious that she’s still tired from earlier.
Horde battle with large hydra (or something) grimm being final boss of season.
They kill it, of course.
After the battle RWBY thinks that the problem is more or less solved.
Adam is still loose but his plan is foiled and his co-conspirator, Roman, is in prison.
All they have to do is hunt him down.
If he’s going to try something, it’ll be at the tournament. RWBY will have an extra eye open during.
JNPR returns triumphant from their mission and wonders what the hell happened while they were gone.
Cinder is livid that plan-A failed and they lost their best chance to kill Ozpin.
Yeah, their plan is to fuck up Vale and get and chance to kill Ozpin.
Is reassured by the mysterious figure she’s talking to (Salem) that plans can change and still succeed.
Adam is looking through security footage taken from depot.
Sees Blake.
He smiles.
Season two done.
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dapper-nahrwhale · 3 years
Note
for the writing ask, number 3!
Asiksj thanks so much for the ask!! (Under the cut is some fantasy high riz and aelwyn friendship I've been writing)
"One scene you want to write but cant because its difficult"
I guess it's hard for me to write like cohesive scenes like I'm used to writing slightly connected oneshots like 5 + 1 type stuff, shortish scenes that arnt connected much. But writing like stuff with connected plots is difficult, coming up with ideas for plot is easy actually writing it all together is hard.
Like theres like this fantasy high mafia road trip thing au (the title would be Pretty like a Car Crash from some song I think) I'd want to write but... trying to put together a whole plot ugh I enjoy writing lil oneshots and scenes but trying to get it all figured put is hmm not my strong suit.
Like writing out whole scenes that are connected with actual plot is hard so I just write unconnected scenes and all I'd like to figure out how to do like whole stuff but idk.
Actually some writing (fantasy high riz and aelwyn friendship I've been cooking up) under the cut cuz it got pretty long
I'm not going to write out a whole entire plot multiple chapter thing here so I'll just write some stuff that I've been working on. Even though this is a multi chartered plot thing so.
The road to recovery is paved in sleepless nights and tired mornings. (Title)
The bad kids are rightfully wary about letting them hang out together. Partly because they're both paranoid enough to think the other would take an attack of opportunity on them. Of course what the bad kids didn't expect was for them to band together when someone else gets murdered. Basrar gets framed for murder. Riz and aelwyn are on the case.
Riz doesnt like or trust Aelwyn. Aelwyn doesnt care about his opinion, but it's easier to try and get along with each other to make this long suffering case go by quicker.
Aelwyn decided to stop doing super toxic things because her sister and jawbone have gotten her to and because she doesn't like or enjoy going to parties getting rekt and kissing strangers anymore. So she needs new, slightly less toxic habits and if staying up late researching stuff while not sleeping is that then the only one to also do that would work. Putting her high intelligence to good use. (Sleeping is hard for both of them, so why not be productive instead of going to have a bad time sleeping.)
They've both killed more people then they should have. They both refuse to talk about too much with jawbone, even though at this point they really should. Instead they avoid all of their problems by solving cases and researching stuff. They both value knowledge. Adaine isn't here because she'd only discourage them and they know it's not healthy to burn out like this but. Well. It's the only way they know how to function. So. They don't talk about their feelings or anything. They both don't sleep at all if they can help it. They just work themselves to the bone, refuse to sleep because of really bad nightmares and hope it's enough. It isnt. But they'd really like to think it was.
Combined, they would sleep about 6 hours, riz passed out for 4 and aelwyn trancing fitfully for 2.
(Aelwyn will trance for just a few hours, sitting in a creaky old chair while riz works on something or other. They make it a rule to always have one of them awake if the other is sleeping when they end up working late. Paranoia and all that. So whenever riz inevitably passes out in his desk aelwyn will keep watch and go over spells in her book to keep herself awake. It's a shot system but it works for the most part. Sometimes they'll both stay up the entire night, sometimes theyll both be too exhausted to stay up anymore and fall asleep at the same time.)
To solve the case they hole up in rizs office for a few days, everyone panics at first when neither go to school and then riz and aelwyn dont answer their crystals cuz it wasnt charged and they were so focused on the case they forgot to do school. They freak out considering what happend last time and actually bust down the door of his office and find them both sleeping. It's cute but they wake up and start fighting them before they realize oh it's just the bad kids.
(Undetermined time later)
"Just had to get away from adaine for a bit. She worries about me too much."
"Are you giving her reason to be worried?"
"Probably"
"I dont know how sam and adaine and everyone else can forgive me. I'm a terrible person." Alewyn
"Were. You were a terrible person. You arnt anymore. Even if you think you still are, you arnt anymore. The horrors you have done are not who you are. Or something like that. The you who did all the terrible things is still you and that sucks but you just have to do better now" Riz
"It doesnt make up for all the stuff I've done."
"Probably not. It might never."
"Ostentasia still hasn't talked to me or even been in the same room as me. and I cant blame her. I cant forgive myself."
"Yeah. I mean you did put her in a palimpsest prison for several months. And then almost get her and the other maidens sacrificed to our evil vice principle dragon. That's pretty messed up "
"Yeah."
She feels she doesnt deserve her new family. She hasn't done anything to deserve their free love. She in fact has done more to hinder it than anything.
Adaine reminds her of love without expectations. It's hard to remember but shes getting better at it.
Jawbone tells her he wanted to adopt her. She didnt understand why. Shes almost old enough to be on her own she doesnt need anyone to look out for her. But it would be nice to have a parent who cares. At least that's what adaine tells her.
Everyone else is getting better and they both feel like they're not.
This is by no means all of it or in any way done or edited and I'm still working on riz parts of it, those are much more difficult than aelwyns for me to write as of now because they're so based on my own personal stuff kinda but I'm so wicked excited to be writing this! I just think they're friendship would be so intersting and all!
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Text
Ner vod
Relationship: Fox & Tailor (OC)
Rating: G
@transwomankyloren commissioned me to write something about Fox and his OC Tailor. Thank you so much for commissioning me, it was very fun to write!
AO3 link
“Life in the Guard isn't easy, but at least the vode can count on each other's support.”
Being a Corrie isn’t easy, despite what the vode may think, but even if you try to explain it to them, most of them won’t even listen. Fox knows, he’s tried it already; at least his batch takes him seriously, even though they can’t help but to sneak in a few jokes about it from time to time. Fox always tries to take them in good jest, but sometimes their words come back haunting him during the most difficult times.
What he would like, when it comes to this matter, is for Tailor to understand it too. This is already the fifth time in that month that he has to personally drag her out of 79’s because she was about to start a fight with some random vod whom she overheard talking shit about them.
“I wasn’t going to do anything!” she exclaims once they’re far enough to stop. “I just wanted them to understand!”
“I know you, you were going to make them understand with your fists,” Fox replies, taking none of her shit.
 At least he doesn’t comment on the irony of this: she’s always the first one to scold the fools she has to patch up because of these bar scuffles, and now she almost got involved in one. He doesn’t say anything about this only because it would make her even more mad and that’s not what he wants at the moment - he’s storing this bit for the next time she’ll tell some poor shiny not to get involved in these things.
She might act all no-nonsense and stern around the shinies, but she still loves the Guard dearly, and she’d do anything to protect them, like each one of them does. After all, if not even your brothers are with you, what else can you do if not stick with each other? At least they are a pretty cohesive group.
His gaze softens and he puts a hand on her shoulder.
“Let’s head back, ner vod, shall we?”
She doesn’t say anything but she nods, following Fox back home. Well, it’s not exactly a home per se, but it’s the closest they have - and probably will ever have - to it, so might as well call it that. The truth is that she’s not talking about the buildings, no, she’s talking about the Guard, about the rest of her vode. They are her true home, but she refuses to say it out loud to them; she has a reputation to uphold after all, she can’t allow people to see her soft side.
Fox isn’t just a random somebody, however; she trusts him enough to let her façade crumble, even for a small amount of time.
 It’s subtle at first, just a brush of their hands together, then Tailor goes to grab Fox’s, squeezing to the point that it hurts even with the gauntlets still on.
Despite this, Fox doesn’t point it out, doesn’t point out anything at all. What he does, instead, is to squeeze her hand as well.
“I’m here. I got you. I love you.” That’s what that gesture says. There’s no need for words, just silent companionship.
 Once they’ll get back, they’ll probably have to go their separate ways, but it doesn’t matter for now. They have each other’s back and they will keep things that way.
Even if they might not have the support of the rest of their brothers’ at least they have their own. They can always count on that.
  “Prison duty again, huh?” Foxtail mutters as she’s reviewing Fox’s schedule. She’s not supposed to have his datapad, but they were chilling inside Fox’s office during one of his rare moments of break and once she set her sights on it there was no stopping her.
Fox nods at her words, wordlessly, which to Tailor is most suspicious, because Fox hates guard duty and never wastes any chance to make it well known. The fact that he’s not saying anything means that he must’ve put himself there to escape from a bad situation - since nobody ever bothers with the clones stationed for prison duty - something that doesn’t happen much often to him, but it does for other officers that are a little less “polite” around the wrong people.
Knowing that she’ll have the drag the truth out of him, she asks:
“What happened?”
“Nothing happened,” Fox lies, and if Tailor hadn’t known him as well as she does, she would’ve missed the way his body tenses just for a moment, before Fox hops off the desk and begins pacing, a clear sign of nervousness. “I just had a… disagreement, with a Senator.”
“How big of a disagreement?” Tailor asks. That doesn’t bode well at all.
“… I might’ve insulted him.”
Tailor’s blood goes cold in her veins as she hears those words.
“What?”
“It’s not as bad as you think!” Fox immediately says. “He’s been complaining about the ‘excessive security’, his words not mine, because he was forced to be followed by an escort and eventually I told him that this is our job so we know better than him.”
This has to be the short version of the story, but at the moment this isn’t what worries Tailor more.
“I know what you’re about to say, I know I was wrong,” Fox continues, “I just--”
He’s shaking more and more as he goes on. Tailor needs to act now. She gets up from the chair she kindly stole from Fox since the moment she set foot in there and she approaches him; only once she’s sure she’s not going to make things worse by doing this she wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.
 “It’s going to be fine,” she says, trying to sound certain despite how much she too is afraid. “They’re not going to send you back to Kamino, alright?”
Fox nods, but he’s still unconvinced. This calls for a keldabe, which of course Tailor drags him into.
“The Guard would be lost without its Commander and you know it. They wouldn’t take away such a useful asset.”
What she just said is cold, very cold, but it’s also their unfortunate truth. Besides, Tailor knows this will get Fox more than any reassuring words, no matter how well-intentioned they might be. This time in fact he looks more convinced when he speaks.
“I know it’s just… Well… You know.”
“I do,” she says, unable to hold back her bitterness at that statement. It’s not easy to live with the knowledge that your life is disposable and that it takes very little for anyone to get sent back and get decommissioned. Still, they can’t let that fear overtake them.
 At least now Fox’s smiling, although sheepishly.
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, ner vod,” he says. Tailor rolls her eyes at him.
“Oh come on don’t go there now. How many times did I tell you it’s fine, you stupid di’kut?” she replies. By now Fox should know that he can count on her, but he’s still stubborn enough to always try to carry the entire weight of the Guard all on his shoulders, like Coruscant would fall if he so much decides to take a break.
It would be too easy if he just stopped with his workaholic tendencies, but it’s fine. Well, it’s not, but at least he can count on Tailor to keep him in check.
She’ll always make sure that he takes care of himself.
  Sometimes Tailor can’t help but to wonder if her brothers who are deployed in the war and not stationed in Coruscant get the same treatment they get: are they always treated as heroes by the inhabitants of the worlds they save, or are they considered freaks by them too?
Not that she thought they were ever going to be considered heroes here on Coruscant - that’s just not how things work - but still people treat them as slaves. Well, that isn’t really that far from the truth now, isn’t it?
She shakes her head, deciding to go back to work instead of letting her traitorous mind wander into dangerous territories. What was she doing before getting lost in her own head? Ah, that’s right! She needed to compile requisition forms for more hypos.
One would think they’d get plenty of those since they’re medics, but that’s unfortunately not the case and…
 She hears an explosion, then her comm begins to beep furiously.
Something must’ve happened, something very bad.
 A bombing to the Senate is something they all know to expect - one of the training scenarios for the shinies is exactly this in fact - but to think that someone would bomb the Guard precinct is…
Why? Why would they do that to them, the people who live and die for this city? They’re already bleeding them dry, and now this?
Agh, there’s no time to get lost in her thoughts like this! She needs to check on the men!
The wall that has been bombed has crumbled, leaving some brothers under the rubble. Tailor anxiously waits for the relief efforts to begin retrieving them, ready to go immediately as soon as someone comes up. The key in these kinds of emergencies is quickness and fast reflexes: if it takes too long for her to act, she might lose the vod’s life she’s trying to save.
Even with the medics ready to operate however, not everyone survives. Some are even already dead at the retrieval, others die later.
This is the second vod that Tailor keeps close in her arms, trying to give them at least a bit of company before they eventually close their eyes and march on, and while she keeps asking herself why this has happened and what they are going to do now. There’s surely going to be an investigation, but she doubts it will produce any result: if it had been any other natborn building exploding, then people would have cared, but they are just clones, not enough to warrant a proper investigation.
 The body in her hands has already gone cold when she hears a familiar voice barking orders to the rest of the troopers. Kark.
As she gets up to follow the voice, she can’t help but to be glad that he was under the rubble, but this doesn’t mean that he wasn’t involved in the explosion in any way.
When Tailor finally reaches Fox in fact, she can’t help but to curse the fact that she had to take care of the injured ones first. Even though he doesn’t look injured, the poor vod’s shaking, even though he stubbornly acts like he’s not. Nobody has had the courage to point it out, at least until Tailor got there.
She didn’t even wait for him to acknowledge her presence before grabbing him by the shoulders and dragging him away, knowing that there are other CCs that will take Fox’s place.
“Where are we going?” Fox asks. The fact that he’s not even trying to resist Tailor speaks volumes.
“Your office,” is the laconic response. There’s no need to say anything else.
 Once in Fox’s office, Tailor begins to do a medical check-up just to be sure, but Fox pushes her away.
“I’m fine! I just got there…” he says, but he begins choking on his own words.
Tailor draws him immediately into a hug, holding him tightly. His shaking worsens, and Tailor can hear the sound of sniffles coming from him, but she doesn’t say anything.
She lets him cry all he wants, and maybe she cries a bit too, who knows - she’s not going to tell. The despair this job gives them pours out all at once, with Tailor and Fox unable to do anything about it if not trying to support each other at the best of their abilities. That’s how things work in the Guard.
 Eventually they both stop, pulling away after what feels like an entire day, if not even more.
“Thank you, Foxtails,” Fox says, drying what remains of his tears with one hand. Foxtails, not Tailor.
She smiles.
“Anything for you, ner vod.”
At those words, even Fox manages a small smile as he replies to her.
“Anything for you too, ner vod.”
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