#anyway. suffering and pain rn

[neptunesailing]

hades art dump part 2

#this is NOT in order of which i drew them i think i drew the last three a while ago. zag was today tho :D #nep draws things #hades game #hades supergiant #zagreus #thanatos #megaera #zagreus hades #megaera hades #thanatos hades #how did i tag this last time...................... #sketch #I POSTED FOR HADESGAME AGAIN.. WOAH. UNHEARD OF. #anyway i wanna make a chibi series maybe......... i love this game holy shit. i should draw the olympians and . actually everyone #pain and suffering i need to think about this game more often. ive been oc-pilled recently.. ouh. i think i may be in btwn fixations. ykno #like that downtime of when ur not Into Something. thats me rn. i also think thats also a big Burnout time for me whoops . school might have #to deal with that i think. ahhah school is killing me oh my god

[shoezuki]

the essay i got due tomorrow n barely done is like. its good i like it im excited to write it and im so upset that i have no time and am sick like.

its in my fairy tales n folklore class n im writing on the subject of taboo topics in perrault's 'donkeyskin' and specifically the symbolism/metaphors of the donkey hide she wears n how it symbolizes her trauma haunting her long after she escapes her fathers attempts to marry her n like. i like the story a lot n how its kinda fucked up but perrault really watered down the father-daughter incest topic n tried to make it more 'safe' and less taboo. but he fucking failed and i wanna argue bout it so bad. but my head hurt

#ask to tag #incest mention #her wearing the skinned prized donkey her father owned even after she escaped him #and how filthy and disgusting it was and how she never took it off #until finally she sees herself for the first time and sees how ppl see her..... #its her wearing her trauma ok its . the symbolism #how innate it was to her like how the skin just became her. she never saw herself. but the shame and pain of it is present and EUGH #its a good tale. i need to read other variants cuz perrault really like. forgot bout the king halfway through #id write bout other ones but i have no time lshglshg #but anyways its about patriachal power and how she suffered under 'polite' society that dictated her father controls her #even when that control is. fucked up and disgusting. #EUGH #i did read the grimms version tho n tbh that one was very similar #only major difference i recall rn is that the king's advisors were like 'what the fuck oh god dont marry your own fucking daughter' #but in perrault's version the only one who helps her and sees how wrong this is is her fairy godmother #but even then. she barely does shit. her attempts to 'politely' turn down the king fail #god. god.

[quasarkisses]

actually i love angst and heartbreak and tragedy and hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort and whump and the catharsis of my own pain (perceived as invalid) processed through the safe and removable veil of fiction

I don't always want happy endings. some of the best stories end with graves and ghosts

#blah blah blah #for me this is about good omens rn and it's also about lord of the rings but it's also about every tragedy ever written #sometimes my own pain is not enough. sometimes i need to be the child pretending to be an orphan #bc parents suck but the pain feels bigger than my situation allows #anyway this is about enjoying stories where people suffer and no one around me sharing that experience

[pollyna]

The beautiful moment when you wake up and your body is sore because you went to the gym and not because you were in pain all night and your body decided to lock itself still because "shhh, maybe if we move less we will fell less". Yeah pal, dead wrong on that one lol

#probably going to be in some degree of pain in a couple of hours just bc my knee is that funny but- #-it was nice? like it's a fun lesson it starts slowly and everybody is kinda suffering all together? #and the hours are kinda perfect bc i can get back from work and still don't go to bed too late #anyway it was just the first lesson so everything is a little glass tinted rn

[daz4i]

i need to get top surgery so i can stop wearing shirts for good fr

#well i already lost 20kg what's 20 more........ (<- pain and suffering) (past the point of losing a lot at once and now losing it slower) #anyway. sensory issues are killing me. might be the weather but fabric on my scars is hellish rn #(it's always kinda bad which is why i sleep shirtless. but now it's bothering me during the day more than usual too :/)

[softgaycontent]

migraine level: stupid

#migraines inhibit your thinking ability. #on their own. and then Also bc ur thinking Ow Ow Ow. but also on their own #lays a wet blanket full of pain and dumbass over your whole brain #anyway im having like my 7th consecutive migraine this week #rebound of overtaking pain killers may be part of it but i have Plans this weekend so i can just suffer next week #no time for it rn. its my darlings' bday #migraines #edit: im fixed now. was going to edit my typo ''darlings' '' (multiple) to the accurate ''darling's'' (singular) #but it's a good representation of the stupid

[hikeyzz]

.

#anyway um happy thursday i hope y'all are havin a great day thx for following me and dealing with my antics i rlly appreciate you all so mu #esp all my beloved moots y'all are so so precious to me #anyway don't keep reading unless you wanna know what goes on in my dumb idiot brain all the time #i would simply love to not be in pain and suffering anymore #i feel like i'm never going to feel well again #and idk how much longer i can keep going like this #like this life is not so great that it balances out the absolute suffering i endure #so . #why am i doing it?? #i never expected to live this long to begin with which is cool whatever like i chose to keep living #but i also expect to have a short life because of my health and my genes #and there's been some comfort in that where i feel a sense of ease knowing i'm not trapped in this life and there is an end #but so far my life has been that i am in poor enough health is seriously disrupts my life but only mildly disables me and does not actually #pose a risk to my ability to stay alive #like none of my health issues are fatal or life threatening in any way #they just seriously make it HARD to live and thrive and bc of that i'm like in disability limbo #and i don't wanna do it anymore #and trust me when i say i have thought soooooo much on it and am TRYING to make it worth it i am TRYING to make this life livable #i just can't keep living like this and my options rn are very limited #i want to ... so bad yet i keep trying and it just really really isn't worth it in my eyes #i don't know much longer i can hold on. i don't think i want to much longer #hikey #talks from ur local sexy psycho <3 #disabled lyfe

[tohot4u]

panik

#Anyway #procrastination #rn #csnt even do art #I need to do my workl #But like #So overwhelmed by the urge to draw gay monkies #That I can’t even do it #And also #like #i have a ton of work #I should probably do #i will do that #maybe I should give myself a schedule #Like that actually works #Suffering #pain #Why must I be this way #o god #now im trying to crochet #Why do I do this #how do it do this #How can one pick up a hobby in a span of 3 seconds #God #Save me #help 💀

[guinevereslancelot]

the horrors are horroringggg

#i hate you resume i hate you pdf editor i hate you cover letter 😭 #literally sick to my stomach rn ughhhh #got recertification for child cpr this morning to apply for a job but ughhhh #one of the free pdf editors reddit recommended is not free :( #downloading a new one and my laptop is having a seizure its fine its fine #anyway pain suffering etc #i think i can get the job but at what cost #im a little worried it will be too much for me lol #this has been a shitpost

[six-of-cringe]

someone send memes ocd is putting me through the fucking wringer and i can't disturb the delicate ecosystem of my friendships

#pulling out my hair so maybe i forget that if i was dead i would not hurt anyone or contribute to any overarching problems #i have a good life and so i'm automatically evil and all my 'problems' are stupid. not accepting questions #saying it out loud makes it very obviously irrational but rn it just feels so overbearingly unavoidably true #everything is scary and my dumb ass cried bc suffering and pain exists everywhere for everyone forever. i should jump in front of a bridge #ok that actually made me smile that was very funny. i'm very funny. #haha anyway hey guys have you heard of this book called six of crows it's very good to read you should read it #not soc #delete later #ocd mention #suicide mention #but like. with a funny malaphor so it's funny

[dogbunni]

I have been on semi-haitus bc I recently got diagnosed with hypertension (at 24!!!! what da fuck!) so I've been trying to reduce some stress in my life while also trying to like figure out what I need to change diet/lifestyle wise and get all the testing done that I need to get done and figure out medication w my Dr. it's been kind of a lot

#im still SO stressed but that is because i suffer from shit life syndrome and there is little i can do about that #like im in pain all the time and also autistic and also my cat is terminally ill #and also i cant work because of the disabilities so im still living at home with my parents and idk what im going to do with my life #also living with my parents is a special kind of hell no offense to them but 🙃 #so the STRESS #i just realised that i was stressing a little about updating CTTD and i am NAUGHT going to worsen my health over fanfiction #so ive gone on an impromptu tumblr/ao3 haitus #idk when im going to be BACK back #but im still on here reblogging shit sometimes #just not rly making nendo headcanons or screaming in tags #i dont have the energy im SO stressed hahahahaha fuck #i have to get tested for diabetes??? #so my stepdad has been on my case about how much sugar i eat bc i always crave sugar #ive been trying to cut down like ive got zero sugar syrups for my (decaf!!!) coffees #and im trying to eat less chocolate #idk its hard man. my life already sucks and now my mundane little joys are slowly being cut out one by one #idk #anyways thats my life update! #saiki k fandom i love u all and i may not be active or in any of u guys notifs gushing about fan art or neno rn #but KNOW that i am still just as feral about it i am just half dead and so tired i am so sorry <3 #dogbunni diary log

[just-a-little-hater]

Ofc Godot is based on Waiting for Godot, how could he fucking not be

Also not Albert Camus and his famous ,,Should I kill myself or get a cup of coffee" being from the same literally etape

#idk if it's actually confirmed but well Godot isn't exactly a common name #and since his japanese name apparently has something to do with a tree... #anyway you can't even imagine how much pain and suffering learning about literature after WW2 is causing me rn #suicide mention #ace attorney #godot #godot ace attorney

[reliccipher]

Is there even a fuckin evolutionary purpose to cramps or is that just for funny haha human torment

I've been facing kidney stone level pain since I was 12 and no matter how many times professionals say that its normal you cannot convince me that this level of pain is NORMAL. I really hope they just mean "normal" as in "You don't need to go to the hospital" because there is no way that there's nothing going on here? Do doctors just think I'm exaggerating? Is this just a socialization issue and they're just trying to reassure me that I'm not dying and I'm misinterpreting it to mean "everything is fine"? Are the doctors in my area just idiots? Or is it a "we really can't do anything here, just keep taking naproxen or whatever as normal" kinda thing? Do I have endometriosis?? Is it too hard to diagnose it for certain and my doctors aren't bothering, or am I not complaining enough about it? I genuinely don't know. I just don't think this is completely normal.

I've had kidney stones before. I've had to help take care of my dad when he gets them, because getting those on top of his chronic pain makes it a struggle to even get out of bed. It is genuinely one of the worst kinds of pain to get. I have been taking ibuprofen and/or naproxen for the pains ASAP when I even see a little bit of blood or feel the start of cramping. I've been doing that for so long that I forgot how bad it was, so when my cramps started in the middle of the day when I had no access to any kind of meds some months back, the horrifying reality of what I had been going through had finally set in, taking the full force of the pain with nothing to combat it, and it was just as bad as kidney stones. Made worse since it hit me in a crowded fuckin mall with people looking at me weird but I don't want to get into that mess. I just cannot believe when someone tries to tell me THAT is normal, that everything is fine, nothing to worry about, nothing to even look into.

I'm scared to even think about how the pain could be worse than this, because I know that's possible. I'm scared of the idea that something could be seriously wrong here and it's getting ignored because I'm not being taken seriously or because I'm not complaining enough about it. I hate the idea that this is just somehow "normal". Even if I wasn't trans I'd want to get this stupid fucking organ out of my body so I don't have to suffer like that. I really wish I could just get it removed already, its just too fucking much for me, man. That's not gonna happen any time soon though since I can hardly even afford blood tests. I mean, hell, I need to get a (full body, likely) MRI and that's been shoved to the side for years now because my family just can't afford it. A whole surgery like that is nothing but a pipe dream right now.

Sorry for the long rambling bs about this shit but I need to scream into the void about this, I already had therapy this week so I can't talk about it there lol. IDK maybe someone knows what its like or can tell me "yeah that's not normal your doctors suck" or something.

#cw menstruation #cw periods #tw menstrual cycle #tw menstruation #tw periods #period cramps #menstruation #relic rambling #i'm in so much fucking pain i'm not joking #we ran out of naproxen so i'm just kinda suffering rn #god i know the terfs are going to find this post uuggghh #i'd say fuck off but I know they aren't going to listen #I mean i'll say it anyways #fuck off terfs #fuck off transphobes #leave me the fuck alone i have enough on my plate as is #i'm so lightheaded right now ugh #might delete later

[catfishofoldin99colours]

oh this week is gonna be a BAD time to be off my meds : - )

#catfish speaks #for context i am low on supply and havent set up a doctor's appointment to get a refill cos i had to MOVE BACK HOME #which involved DRIVING ACROSS THE ENTIRE SOUTHERN HALF OF THE COUNTRY #so yknow been a Bit preoccupied #anyway now im suffering from chronic fatigue and pain and also my adhd is going nuts #BECAUSE I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS COS I FORGOT #AND I FORGOT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING THEM #i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow #but regardless #i am waiting to hear back on some jobs hopefully #and i BOOKED a doctors appointment tomorrow #but apparently my mum thinks im just not doing anything ever #like hey mum. IM DISABLED #GET OFF MY BACK #im so pissed rn #really fucking hoping the new doctor im seeing tomorrow will just give me a prescription for SOMETHING #and its not a nightmare back and forth idiocy hurdle #i am having a genuinely bad time and possibly liable to hurt myself if i dont get medicated soon :) #(not sure how true that statement is but i haven't fully gone cold turkey off these meds before so. yippee)

[troublesome-transboy]

wonder if Hospital Smell is different with regional differences in cleaning porducts. are there regional differences in cleaning products? hospital hive mind?

#dont judge my tags im not a person rn #yeah high guess who just got out of the er. again 🤟 #most of my internal organs are dickbags but the uterus just really takes the cake #purposeless except to develop serious problems ig #im okay this new issue isnt gonna kill me or anything #itll just be yet another chapter in my endless dance with the american medical system #thank god for medicaid making it affordable at least #also emergency rooms are so hostile to sensory issues #everything smells like chemicals #brightass fluorescents desiged to burn your retinas #loud machines and ticking clocks #the scratchiest fabrics money can possibly buy #plus if you’re there you’re probably in pain or massively uncomfortable in some other way #and if you do anything to soothe the overload #(headphones comfort items etc) #docs and nurses tend to assume you’re not actually in pain/suffering #anyway im fuckin burnt out gn 🤟

[risingsunresistance]

...wait harvey DOES have an archive wha-

#THE ONLY PERSON I EVER SEE SAVE THEIR STUFF IS PHIL #YIPPEE I CAN START WATCHING HIS STREAMS IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE I DO OTHER STUFF #i will finally be a harvey enjoyer again #chat #anyways that's for later. gonna watch jojo's video rn #submitted my papers for my midterm... pain and suffering. #but it's over for now. until i go to shadow in 2hrs. then it's 4 more hours of torture #but THEN it's over. until i go shadow tomorrow-