#and idk how much longer i can keep going like this

[hotluncheddie]

t4t chubby autistic steddie GO

i have been thinking about this (nsfw from twitter!!) art lately so i am here with u <3

even tho i get nervous to write trans characters, idk why, i just don't wanna mess it up i think

but im doing my best!! bc autistic and gender exploration are very lovely wonderful cozy subjects so i'm gonna focus on that

this is such a string of ideas but - 4 u <3 :3c

Stevie leaves with Eddie and Robin, taking their trust fund and leaving their parents to it - too the rest of their lives - without her. Like the Harringtons always hoped, really.

Stevie doesn't need them, the money is useful but they offer nothing more to her.

She's able to buy an apartment. In Chicago. With her loves. They learn how to live. How to live together. How to be at peace.

There's big bright widows in the main space, with light and air and the sunset. The two bedrooms are cozy and warm and it's a place for them all to grow.

'There's chips here.' Eddie says. They have a matching day off and she's trying to practice what it is to do nothing, to truly rest. Eddie helps, by being there, keeping her still with his hands and his love.

But Stevie tenses up, she was snacking, has been snacking, trying to learn her hunger signals better - what they feel like to her. It was always a rule not to east in her room, not to eat between meals. But she was hungry, she had a snack.

'I'm not judging, I'm saying so we remember to take it out next time one of us goes to the kitchen.' Eddie says, coming back from changing the tape, kissing her. Kissing her and kissing her.

Stevie relaxes.

'You've gained a little weight.' Robin says, laying on Stevies thighs on the couch, crocheting while Stevie watches sports and rubs her knuckles agains her teeth, twirling a strand of Robins hair in her fingers.

She looks down at her best friend. Robin looks back at her.

Robin smiles.

'It's good. You look more like you than you ever have before.'

Stevie smiles back. Tries not to cry.

Stevie letting herself change, relax. Unlearn those eating habits that helped her feel in control. Instead allowing herself to enjoy, and eat the things she wants to, the things she likes.

Eats pasta every night for a month and doesn’t feel bad about it. Doesn’t force herself to eat kale because she hates it, spinach is good enough. She is good enough.

Eddie gets little chubbier, in this new life. After recovering from nearly dying. Explains to Stevie in his long lilting way that he likes it, feels more protected, like his skin isn’t so fragile now.

He’s never liked his body but now he truly knows how short life is, and, maybe he can learn to like this new one. In this new place, in the love that surrounds him.

Plus, the bats destroyed his chest. So without that in the way, no longer lurking and potentially ruining his day. He realises he can shed that background fixation he always seemed to have with thinness. The idea that it would make him look more masculine or more androgynous. Curves were for girls and Eddie was not. That.

But now, now, who fucking cares. He’s alive. He needs to eat.

Steve feels a finger trailing over her hip, dipping into the band of her underwear, skimming over her crack and the the ridges of stretch marks that lead up to her waist.

'So so pretty' Eddie whispers, and it's filled with so much awe, so much grace, so much reverence and love.

Stevie shivers, feeling endless and grounded and like her body is here and hers and everything she ever dreamed of because it exists now.

She puts her hand under her loose shirt, cupping her belly. Skin still sleep warm and the energy of her palm seems to cover her whole body in warmth, in light and softness. Tinging and bright. Still being traced lightly by the love of her life. But being loves by her own hands, now, too.

She exists. And finally, everything is beautiful.

#i had a dream and i was on holiday and fell in love with a girl #and it was very romantic #and also cathartic in the way she loved me #so im trying to get that vibe here lol #and also give them paradise to exist in #so lets all hide here together - fill ourselves with love #hotlunch #steddie #ask #chubby steve harrington #chubby eddie munson #trans steve harrington #trans eddie munson #autistic steve harrington #autistic eddie munson #:)

[ahegato]

[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Leviathan

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: Leviachan Writer: ahegato

Context:  The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon | leviathan (ur here) | satan (cumming soon) | asmodeus (cumming soon) | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon (cumming soon)

LEVIATHAN:

don’t worry, it’s his first time too

and he’s 100% more nervous than you are

despite the fact that you’re the one being penetrated here

boy is absolutely terrified that his performance will disappoint you

or even worse, that he’ll hurt you

you don’t have to worry about telling him to take it slow, he’ll take it verrrrrrry slow

he has to gather up courage for almost everything

with him being so nervous, it kind of makes you a little more confident and you dare to take more initiative

at least it’s nice that this is new to both of you, and that you can explore it together

just don’t go too quickly or he might finish before you’ve even started

he’ll keep a hand over his mouth basically the whole time unless you stop him, because everything threatens to make him moan like a porn star

which I assure you that you 100% want to hear, he’s releasing some of the most lewd noises in the world

if you let him finish as is, his eyes will roll up to his skull before going limp

he might as well be dead, you won’t be reaching him for a couple of minutes, but once he’s back he’ll be clingy asf

he’ll be moaning for a while even after you’re done, because he seriously came that hard

BUUUT if you pull out, he’ll cum right as you do, putting you both in the splash zone*, so have fun with that ;)

*unless you guys use protection of course lol

Holy fuck, you’re squeezing him so much. How the hell is he supposed to last longer than a minute? His mouth is open in a silent scream as his eyes nearly roll up in his skull. The sensation is almost overwhelming and the pleasure threatens to take over him, but he reminds himself how vulnerable you are right now. If he were to move now, it could be very painful for you. So he wills himself to stay still, albeit shaking slightly from the effort.

Once you’ve adjusted to him, you begin to grind on him, getting into a steady rhythm as your hips rub against his. Levi slaps a hand over his mouth as a moan threatens to come out.

“No, don’t cover your mouth.” you say, pausing your movements as you pull his hand off. Then you lean down to whisper in his ear, “I want to hear you~”

Levi whimpers as a response, insanely turned on by your dominance.

At some point, Levi loses any shyness that once plagued him, pulling you down into a deep kiss, rubbing his tongue against your lips until you let him in, as well as he begins to thrust up into you.

The pace quickens more and more, and it eventually gets to the intensity where he can’t keep up anymore, overtaken by being riiiight at the edge of his climax.

“I-I-... I’m... I’m gon...” the words come out jumbled and unstable between his panting.

Noticing his movements faltering, you take the reins once more, riding him like there’s no tomorrow, and the demon helplessly trembles from the pleasure, only able to moan and twitch from his position underneath you. He’s putting hentai characters to shame with his whines, and fuck is it hot. He’s so incredibly close that everything else just disappears.

“Cum for me, Levi.”

Upon hearing those four words, the knot in his stomach is instantly unraveled and his eyes roll up into the back of his head as you milk him dry.

✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 12/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

#obey me #headcanons #smut #obey me leviathan #obey me shall we date #leviathan smut #x reader #obey me smut #obey me leviathan smut #ahegato #ahegato obey me #ahegato leviathan #obey me headcanons #obey me smut headcanons

[butchniqabi]

i know its not my place to lose hope but i feel such paralyzing anguish with all that is going on. like im selling thousand dollar wedding dresses while a genocide is going on, it feels so horrifically ironic and stupid like idk how much longer i can keep "hi i'm amatullah i'll be helping you out today 😁"-ing before i fully have a mental breakdown

[hikeyzz]

.

#anyway um happy thursday i hope y'all are havin a great day thx for following me and dealing with my antics i rlly appreciate you all so mu #esp all my beloved moots y'all are so so precious to me #anyway don't keep reading unless you wanna know what goes on in my dumb idiot brain all the time #i would simply love to not be in pain and suffering anymore #i feel like i'm never going to feel well again #and idk how much longer i can keep going like this #like this life is not so great that it balances out the absolute suffering i endure #so . #why am i doing it?? #i never expected to live this long to begin with which is cool whatever like i chose to keep living #but i also expect to have a short life because of my health and my genes #and there's been some comfort in that where i feel a sense of ease knowing i'm not trapped in this life and there is an end #but so far my life has been that i am in poor enough health is seriously disrupts my life but only mildly disables me and does not actually #pose a risk to my ability to stay alive #like none of my health issues are fatal or life threatening in any way #they just seriously make it HARD to live and thrive and bc of that i'm like in disability limbo #and i don't wanna do it anymore #and trust me when i say i have thought soooooo much on it and am TRYING to make it worth it i am TRYING to make this life livable #i just can't keep living like this and my options rn are very limited #i want to ... so bad yet i keep trying and it just really really isn't worth it in my eyes #i don't know much longer i can hold on. i don't think i want to much longer #hikey #talks from ur local sexy psycho <3 #disabled lyfe

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[skunkes]

#i keep having little things in my life that make me go god i want to leave #but like. it wld take too long. #it wouldnt be an immediate change #i would still need to relearn to drive which would take forever bc i hate it #and i would need to look into certs that wld get me employed #or anything that wld get me employed #i know the time will pass anyway but that doesnt work for my brain that has trouble Startin especially when theres no light #at the end of the tunnel. like doing those things wont guarantee me a job so why bother #i get lulled back into well living here isnt so bad i can take it. moving out would be worse. id be alone and i wouldnt #feed myself and id have a job i hated #but then Something Happens and the cycle repeats and im miserable #and i want to leave but how can i. and it would take forever. so ill stay. but it sucks. and i want to leave. but how can i. and it w #talkys #i can take it. but not for much longer. but i can. but i cant. but i have to. but i dont want to. i can. i cant #idk how people Live #my issue is i want to leave Now i want to leave Yesterday.

[silentlycrazy]

I really hate that my pharmacy is constantly shocked that I need my monthly prescription every month. Or that I need needles AND syringes to do an injection. Or that I get upset when I'm a week late on my meds and they still can only shrug and say "we might get it tomorrow". But my doctors are mad at me that my hormones are constantly in flux because who tf knows when I'll be allowed to take my meds regularly.

#cvs pharmacy #trans healthcare #im so tired #im gonna start menstruating again #which happens like every three months because of this #my body and my brain have no fight anymore #why is it so hard to just get medicine #they keep canceling one or both of my antidepressant prescriptions too #i have a 40 mg for everyday and a 10mg for as needed and its a mystery which one will actually be given to me each month #idk how they think someone prescribed 50mg daily can go a month doing 10mg daily but maybe they just hope i kms #honestly they probably wont have to wait much longer

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[sensazioneultra]

i love my mum and i love my cat but he's clearly not gonna get better which we knew would be the case it was only a matter of (very little) time but my mum keeps trying to buy him new different food to get him to eat and again i love them but this is breaking my heart

#he looks so so sick.. #i don't know if there's any point in trying to get him to feel better #when we know it's terminal and they gave him 35 days over 35 days ago #obviously the number is not exact i know that but it is a fact that he's so so sick #and it breaks my heart to see him like this bc if he's pain i really don't think it's good to #keep him around for our own selfish reasons #i wish so badly we could enjoy his presence for longer #but... it's. idk. it might be cruel. if he's in pain it's cruel to not end his suffering #i understand my mum i really do i was the same with our previous cat when she got old and was clearly not gonna last #and in the end i regretted waiting til it happened naturally bc i know i just prolonged her suffering #which was entirely for selfish reasons bc there was no way she'd get better #and it's the same for ripy now. it hurts so so bad i'm crying my eyes out rn #but i can only imagine how much HE is hurting. and what is the point when we know there's no chance #for him to get better #he might die later but having been in more pain for longer. why should we do that to him when he could die as peacefully as #possible with us by his side and so he can rest wherever good sweet cats go after death #idk. i feel so sad. and im here alone crying while church bells ring. and while everything feels meaningless

[skyeateyourdonuts]

weeoo

#this is gonna be me talking in tags today #ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me #and its been taking a toll on my health like #if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in #i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier #often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why #well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep #so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it #but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself #seemed like the only way for my body to be like #'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao #thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try #ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there #anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty #luckily my mood has weirdly been high #its just my sleep and health that are low #i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong #i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected #im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao #tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao #side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao #like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes #i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted #and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long #hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao #ah adulthood is hard lmao #alright im done #gata #no need to read <3 yall

[supercantaloupe]

apparently i'm already halfway done my musicology degree??

#i wanna talk about me #between the course i did in undergrad and the frankly ridiculous number of courses i'm taking this semester #apparently i'm over halfway done already #i know the musicology portion is a smaller load than the library science portion but like #man it was weird walking into my advisor's office and him looking me in the eye and saying like 'oh you're almost done' #three courses is all i have left for a master's. Man #well i'm gonna spread those out over the next year and a half...and probably pick up an extra elective here or there while i can #cause idk man i like studying music history...even if i don't Have to i like taking the classes and learning #(esp if it's gonna be paid for by my fellowship as long as i'm still here) #well i need to figure out. how the hell to get in touch with a library science advisor now. #i emailed yesterday and haven't heard back #but i don't know what i'm doing for that degree going forward rn #other than. i guess taking 552. but i KNOW there's other specialty and elective courses i'll need to take too #and i want to take stock of what shit i'll have to take in summers too cause i know some of the courses are only offered in summer #(need to find out if any of my fellowship scholarship can go towards summer courses. i'm guessing not...) #weird. it's weird. i don't know what i'm doing here #anyway #meeting with my advisor went okay i at least know what i'm doing now re: the music stuff #didn't cry which is good but man i hate how my voice started to break more and more the longer i was in there #and when i talked about how i put too much on my plate this semester and am struggling to keep up with all the work #and he asked me if i've been reaching out to anyone for support. or if i had people to reach out to #and i just had to sit there like. uh #define. support? #i have a couple friends at least that i chat with about stuff like that sometimes but not always cause i don't want to bother them too much #but like. it's not like i can ask someone else to write a research paper For me #or it's not like i can control when my coworkers get sick and i have to cover their time in the office #and this didn't come up at all (and i'm glad for it) but jeez it's not like i can control global political conflicts!! #it's hard for me to focus on getting enough work done in small chunks of time in the best of times #let alone when my fucking hamster brain is on high alert for getting hate crimed in public if my necklace is too visible or something #idk. it's a lot man. i bit off more than i could chew this semester even before the world fell apart

[ev1lmorty]

feel v mean calling out soecific meta but im still kindve fuming over a post i saw w a bit too much engagement a few months ago implying erick couldve never gotten physical w emorty bc if he had emorty wouldve not put up w him as long or wouldve easily been able to defend themself actually it was a poll like. rallying abt what kind of abuse everyone thought emorty had endured like placing bets on how badly rick brutalized him. have we lost the fucking plot lol

#the way u can tell a lot of meta treats morty abuse as some sort of voyeuristic hobby #god i have bitched abt this on my priv so often i forget if ive said it here but i wish ppl could go #yeah i want to fuck rick n i acknowledge he is an abusive figure in his familys life or he didnt ysed to be this bad #but he allowed himself to let go of reality n become this person #like rick isnt just abusive in bed dominating ur reader in planned consenual dom settings. lol. anyways #idk i wuv rnm for having a portrayal of an abusive relationship i can actually fully relate to including the complicated codependent #feelings n having to navigate when things improve n the person gets better n what ur supposed to do when yr basically #left to pick the pieces up urself n how much of the tradegy behind their actions help n how much doesnt matter #im rambling now bc its v v late #also like enabling family when ur created in abuse it keeps going n going ppl no longer are able to acknowledge beths complicity #n jerrys apathy despite being the family scapegoat n at a similiar position to morty but its the quiet parent who tries to stay down #who enables it the most etc #summer loves her brother but gains something from the dynamic if she engages in the toxicity i could go #on #but it still comes back to rick.

[neonsbian]

i cant fucking stand living here

#my dad does something to hurt my feelings or otherwise treat me like shit and i cant even say anything bc he'll tell me im an idiot #for having feelings and opinions so i have to keep it inside and i cant even vent to anyone irl #bc no one can fathom the idea that someone could truly hate their parents #my brothers the only person who understands what its like living w him and even he doesnt feel the way i do #whatever love i had left for my father is dead. he's chipped away at it for years but it's completely gone now #idk how much longer i can keep doing this (<- girl who is going to keep doing this for another 6 months at least) #vinnie talks

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #suicide tw #nearly everyone i care abt rn is like so very suicidal rn and it’s making me. ghghfh #(IMPORTANT NOTE this is not me saying ‘’don’t talk to me abt suicide rn’’ i do not ever mind talking abt it ever ever #i am not ranting rn about not being able to handle the subject or complaining abt ppl talking to me abt it that’s not what this is i prommy) #im just. the realization that there are ppl who go their whole lives without ever thinking that much abt suicide #and then there’s those of who are disabled and/or queer and for us it’s just. a constant #for ourselves for our loved ones for ppl on the periphery of our circles like everyone we brush shoulders with #the amount of time we have to spend talking ourselves and others into just staying a while longer #bc it’s so fucking hard to conceptualize a future for ourselves for so many reasons #and even harder to make that future viable bc it depends on other people helping us #it just makes me want to fucking. idk! break something! #like how do you make people understand this if they’ve never been through it #and how do you convince them that it’s worth it to try and understand where we’re coming from #when their default way of thinking abt it is that you only get to this point if u do smth wrong or just don’t try hard enough #or are some kind of moocher trying to exploit ppl who ‘’work harder’’ #i fucking hate this so much #i just keep thinking about engels’ explanation of social murder #and getting so angry i feel fucking ill #people are fucking killing my friends and it’s like all i can do is like… #try my best to plug whatever wounds i can manage meanwhile the killer is still fucking stabbing them over and over #anyway. god. again none of this is to say i don’t wanna hear abt suicide or anything #i like to know and be able to talk abt it frankly #especially if there’s even the smallest thing i can do to help #im just like. suddenly hit w the disbelief of how many ppl go their whole lives without having these conversations #while me and my friends are having them multiple times a day bc it’s so fucking bad out here #insert disco elysium quote about the mask of humanity falling from capital as it kills your sweet courageous friends here i guess. #i just. wish things were better. how can people not wish that

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for #the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity. #i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING. #i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier. #and that's when my dad finally said it. #:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they #are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i #also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way #but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not #politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people #i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a #good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect #my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people #the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and #if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder.... #my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid #her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be #her friend. #idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad #bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change

[hiraganasakura]

I'm having very mixed thoughts on the whole RT situation. On one hand they treat their workers terribly and so maybe I should be happy they shut down. But on the other hand, all of the 100+ workers are now unemployed and are just as shocked about it as their audience, and whatever company picks them up next probably won't treat them better by any significant margin (bcus that's just. how companies are)

Also obviously there's the whole thing about how my current hyperfixation for about two or three years now (RWBY) may not ever see a proper ending (and even if the property is purchased by a different company the result of it may not even be good), which is kinda selfish for me to be thinking about when ppl are literally jobless as a result of this, but I can't rly help how I feel ig

Anyway point being I'm going to be temporarily distancing myself from RWBY for the sake of my mental health. Again. Posts about it will be less common and I think I'm gonna block the tag for a bit. Sry guys :(

#original post #yk. just one time. i'd like a hyperfixation that doesn't provide me more stress than comfort #like i am BEGGING #stuff like this keeps happening with just about everything i ever get into. for the love of god i just wanna enjoy smth for once #honestly at this point i might have to actively search for a new hyperfixation cus idk how much longer i can take this #and ik how selfish i'm being rn bcus what i'm going thru is nothing compared to what the workers are #but like. i just needed to angry rant for a sec ig. #gonna go to bed now. night night #rwby