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360iris · 1 year

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So don’t run (they’re not so tough)

Pairings: James Potter x Lily Potter, Sirius Black x Remus Lupin, Grant Chapman (created for the fanfic: ATYD by MsKingBean89 on AO3) x OC/Reader Insertable Character + Remus, Eventual Poly!Marauders x OC

Series Status: Ongoing, as of 11.05.22

Play: “Soft” by Vacations, “Bloom Later” by Jesse & “Unf*cktheworld” by Angel Olsen

Summary: Should one fight, or flee? Dig their toes into the sand and risk being pummeled further into the grainy bits, or hide away to survive another day? Sparing yourself the battle of will and chance to hope leads you to darker roads yet. Though, our paths always lead us somewhere purposefully; and there may be more chances along the way to show our true strengths- love, perseverance and forgiveness. Word count: 8.6k

Warnings: Reader’s discretion is advised, please read the warnings carefully. Profanity, she/her pronouns primarily used for OC/Reader Insertable Character, minor character illness, mention of minor character cancer diagnosis, attempted use of lethal weapon, deteriorating mental health, mentions of EDs/insomnia, allusion to a laced drink, a (rather deserving) loss of fingers and broken bone to a minor character, mentions of minor character deaths, deep-dive into grief, loss, depression and death.

hp masterlist / bts masterlist / ao3 link

Growing up is an odd, peculiar and loathsome thing to endure for those who aged and seemed to be instantaneously saddled with only the most unfortunate circumstances by mere chance and the handling of cards.

While those you knew from ages eleven to eighteen and onward graduated from Hogwarts during the Summer of ‘77, eager to move on to the next exciting prospects of starting careers, feeling out long term relationships and obtaining residences of their own- your immediate future seemed to be met with only the following:

An elderly, widower father who could no longer work from having previously fallen ill, the immediate necessity to get a high paying job so that you could promptly and efficiently take care of the household affairs- and ultimately no one from whom you could even remotely relate to in regard to your new found personal experiences.

Your dads were never well off by any means, having been ordinary muggles who lived nearly paycheck to paycheck in order to make ends meet as far as bills and your needed school supplies were concerned. Both having either no surviving or tolerating relations resulted in you being a generally isolated trio. So when your father who you lovingly coined as, Da, passed away from stage four lung cancer, he left behind only yourself and your despondent, Pa. Who, though tried as he might, was only the shell of his former self after his husband passed on to the next life during your fifth year.

Who, amongst your immediate friend group, could both lend a kind ear and offer more than a generic word of pity before inevitably going back to the complicated algebra they knew as their own lives? Were any of them yet capable of understanding and grasping the spider web-like nuances of grief, that were a direct result of the absence of a parent who could no longer support or witness the growth of their child who gradually became accustomed to the bitter truth of maturity and adulthood?

Your peers, who you’d wholly loved and trusted, in the grand scheme of overall life experiences were but babes, blessed with near decades to slowly learn how to walk. You, as fate would have it, had been cruelly tossed amidst the brutal and relentless churning cogs of life, left to either will your limbs to cooperate and deftly coordinate your steps or risk being snagged, broken and crushed by the reality of your circumstances.

James and Sirius came from money and pureblood status, and while Lily and Remus were significantly less endowed, the pair were never left wanting for any of the simple pleasures of life. Their parents had health and/or enough connections to allow their kids to remain as such for as long as they needed. James with his trust fund and Sirius with the fortune passed down to him by his uncle- each making sure their respective partners continued to want for nothing, every need satiated.

Try as you might over the passing months following graduation, no matter how strong your feelings of respect, love and general fondness were for the four, nothing could keep the vines of envy at bay as time went on and your tower of responsibilities and expectations grew.

It was hard to see what good group lunch dates, bar hopping tours across Central London and indulgent sleepovers would do when you had an entire life depending on how firm you stood alongside your duties.

Eventually weekly hangouts were reduced to semi-weekly dinners, then to semi-monthly meetups until the only updates, or lack thereof, they received of you was through the dispirited inquiries issued amongst themselves in search of who had heard even a solitary word from you in the matter of weeks.

This decay of confidence festered for nearly two years and two months in total, happening gradually and then engulfing the friendship all together.

—

October 23rd, 1979

LILY

It was a wonder how quickly time could pass. Though for Lily, she found her care never waned due to distance or the absence of communication between you- who had been the beloved recipient for the most trivial, to the most intimate secrets of her soul. You, who she trusted with the sweetest of truths during her waking hours, and sometimes even in her dreams.

Though they all understood to a certain degree that you were entitled to live how you saw fit, she missed her best friend.

She missed having you assist her in the kitchen, admiring the way you’d jolt your head back when you were overcome with laughter. Or the moments when the boys would venture in to covet snacks, only to find the two of you whispering and giggling quietly amongst yourselves. Lily with her cheek squished and chin hooked over your left shoulder, her arms interlocked around your waist as she dotingly studied your features with great care.

So as she lay awake in the pitch black, staring into the void with only the noise of James’ snoring as an accompaniment to her own thoughts, she resolved she’d get her friend back in whatever little way she could.

The two of you would be able to figure it out, come to some sort of agreement so that you would at least come home more regularly. And even if you weren’t initially enthusiastic to do so, maybe you’d do it for her because you’d realize how badly she needed it.

Closing her eyes and turning onto her side, she lulls herself to sleep with the hope that you’d listen once she told you how much she missed you.

Once she revealed that she knew she was three weeks pregnant.

—

October 27th, 1979

LILY

On the fourth consecutive day of calling your landline, the call finally goes through.

“Hello?” Lily eagerly greets, holding the phone to her ear with both hands and shifting her weight from one side to the other. She found herself to be too flurried to even think about sitting, she’d be unable to remain still. “Sorry to call out of the blue like this, I hope I’m not keeping you from anything.”

“May I ask whom I’m speaking with?” Is the response given and it’s only then that Lily realizes it isn’t your voice on the other line.

“Hello? Are you still there? Do you have the wrong number perchance?” The young woman on the other side inquires when Lily doesn’t respond immediately, finding her tongue stuck as she momentarily sits frozen in her disappointment.

“Um, I apologize.” Lily finally speaks up, shaking herself from her dumb stupor. “This is the Corbyn household, is it not?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The girl answers politely.

“My name is Lily Evans, uh- Potter. Lily Potter, I’m a childhood friend of Miss Corbyn’s. Is she available to talk currently?”

“Miss Corbyn no longer resides in this residence, ma’am.” The girl calmly informs her and Lily is nearing shell shocked.

“For how long?” Lily quickly inquires, “If you don’t mind me asking of course, how long has she been gone?”

“No more than about three months give or take now, I suppose.” To say she was amazed would be an understatement, three months and she’d been none the wiser.

“Excuse my manners, I never asked your name. Is her father home then?”

“My name’s Grace, ma’am. Mr. Corbyn was moved to a hospice center a year ago, come this December. I’m just a caretaker Miss Corbyn hired to mind the ‘ouse in their absence ‘nd give it a good washing every two weeks or so.”

“Would it be possible for you to give me her new residence line?” Lily’s voice is soft, intimate, as she speaks into the receiver, bordering sorrowful as she remembers all the occasions she’d spent over at their house growing up; birthday parties and New Year’s Day dinners.

There were multiple summer vacations when your dads would take the kids to Muggle ice cream parlors and malls where they’d insist on buying everyone one item of their choice, even when their parents had sent them along with an allowance for the day.

Their house was endlessly blooming and overflowing with love and they were never stingy with it. Now it stood empty, save a lone caretaker. It’s denizens numbering one long since passed, one whose ear extended towards the veil and the last… where? Alone? Self isolating from all those who once knew her happy, safe and content?

“I’m sorry ma’am but I’m not at liberty to give that out. However I can take a message, if you’d like? I could pass it on to Miss Corbyn when I see her next.” She offers, sounding like she was ready to get off the phone.

“Oh. I see. Um, no thank you. There’s no need to trouble yourself with it.” Lily answers quietly. “Thank you again.”

“No problem, ma’am. Take care.” And the call ends.

Sinking into the nook they fashioned for the landline, Lily inwardly muses that getting in contact with you is easier said than done.

—

October 27th, 1979

SIRIUS

All things considered, it was warm for a late October’s day in West England, where James and Lily had aptly settled down in pursuit of building a life together.

He’d uprooted her from the muggle-induced smoke and smog filled skies she’d grown used to being choked by during her girlhood and nicely planted her close enough for James’ folks to pay a visit, without prompting too much of a scene from their aging bodies.

It was warm enough that even James, who nowadays was hellbent on being the most perfect, shining example there ever was of a husband and soon-to-be father, could not resist Sirius’ seductive remarks of how much of a shame it’d be to miss out on such an ideal day to give his flying bike a spin.

James’ will was remarkable however, the man suffering a near two and half hours of Sirius’ sighs of wonder and barrage of wistful glances thrown towards the nearest windows before he caved.

“We’ll only be gone for half an hour, love. Down to Stowell for a quick drink and back before you even know it.” James had wholeheartedly promised Lily as she leaned smugly against the kitchen counter while an odd assortment of kitchen tools gradually toiled away behind her lean form.

With the way knives diced potatoes into neat cubes, peelers reduced apple skins to model curling coils and whisks diligently stirred in their respective mixing bowls- the common person would think perhaps some grand holiday had snuck up and caught them unawares. However, this rather stately preparation of dishes and desserts could be witnessed every Thursday afternoon at either The Potter’s residence or the boys’ flat in Birmingham.

The four had promised to meet at least once a week to enjoy each other’s company as they matured. Partying until they were too ill to do much the following morning was phased out for pleasant conversations over meals, VHS movie nights and semi-tipsy sleepovers.

“I wouldn’t make promises Sirius doesn’t intend to keep.” She commented playfully, her eyes squinted at Sirius over James’ shoulder as her husband leaned downwards to pepper her cheeks with kisses. “What will cause the hour and a half delay this time around, Black? Do you know? Did you prepare a list on your way over?”

“Tell me, which do you prefer? A flock of migrating brent geese blown off course? Or muggle policemen in dire pursuit to dish out hot speeding tickets?” He asked, shrugging on the worn leather jacket he’d made a wardrobe staple a few months back.

“Oh! Whatever you do, your godchild and I would rather we don't have a repeat of The Incident of ‘77!” Lily ordered out with a laugh and James’ endearing smile widened as he stared adoringly at her face tracing her features, his arms cradling her waist with the utmost gentleness. “Remus and I will have you both spending the night in confinement if you get apprehended for refusal to cooperate!”

“Duly noted.” Sirius nodded, looking intentionally grave as he slipped off one of the two hair ties he keeps on his wrist to tie up his hair, allowing a few onyx tendrils to frame his face.

James could be seen knelt on the tiled flooring, cooing out promises to definitely not get arrested to Lily’s stomach. With a roll of his eyes, Sirius grabs the collar of his shirt like one would scruff a cat and pulls him towards the door with a sigh. “The wain’s the size of a vanilla bean seed right now, Prongs. Doesn’t even have the ears to hear you in its current state.”

“And how do you know that?” Was the response heard right as the door closed and Lily notes it was half past one when they’d departed.

By the time they had returned, all big smiles and smelling of fresh fog and unfallen rain from passing through clouds to remain out of immediate view, it was a quarter past three. Dinner wouldn’t be ready until seven and Remus wasn’t to be expected before five. There was still ample time to both relax and busy themselves before their scheduled carousing.

Their joviality falters when they reenter to find Lily sitting in the landline nook, with her eyes cast up at the ceiling as she tries and fails to hold back tears of frustration.

“We’re well past the time we gave but I made sure to get him back just in time for tea, Evans.” Sirius offers as James rushes to her side, scooping her hands up into his own.

“I’m here now, love. I’m sorry we took so long.” James apologizes softly, looking up at her with eyes wide with guilt. “We should’ve called.” He adds but she shakes her head frantically, gasping in a breath before speaking.

“No! You’re fine! It’s not you.” She finally answers, wringing one of her hands free to dab at her splotchy cheeks. James’ brows quickly furrow in confusion as he waits for her to regain composure.

Sirius’ shoulder collides with a wall, eyes dark as he asks what he’s afraid to hear the answer to. “Is, Is it Moony?” His body relaxes strangely and then tenses again when she shakes her head, no.

“For the last few days, I’ve been calling to give her the news.” Lily begins and neither men feel the need to ask who it is exactly she’s referring to.

To Sirius, there’s only one person who decided to drop off the face of the earth with only a handful of poorly crafted excuses and a lifetime's worth of voice messages left unanswered.

“Today the call finally went through and I was so… excited to hear her voice. I couldn’t even bring myself to sit. But it wasn’t her.” A few more tears roll down her face and James is wiping them away before she can even think to. “It was the house caretaker. Said that her dad’s been in hospice for almost a year, and she moved out three months ago. Couldn't get her new address or number.”

James is quiet and still, his face perfectly unresponsive as he brings Lily’s hands into his own again. The only movement being produced from him are the circles his thumbs rub soothingly into her skin. He’s the very picture of composure.

Sirius, on the other hand, is a mass of multiple moving parts. His arms don’t know what to do with themselves and his mouth is in a state of morphing into a variety of shapes as he thinks of so much he wants to say, but can’t even begin to start.

At the end of it all, he resolves to turn around. Simply walking towards the front door and allowing it to loudly slam shut behind him.

Before long James is outside, trailing behind him. “Sirius.” He calls, his voice is ever so composed and Sirius bitterly bets he isn’t a shade past normal or a single hair out of place.

Sirius neither stops walking nor answers, making his way to his bike, instead busying himself with attempting to get his goggles to cooperate.

“Sirius!” James tries again and yet again is ignored. Resorting to snatching the motorcycle keys from the outside pocket of Sirius’ jacket before he can even begin to fly off.

Unable to leave but unwilling to be the first to speak, Sirius slumps forward on his bike, his head falling into his hands as he breathes raggedly.

“You can be upset. I’m not telling you, you aren’t allowed to be, but I’m not allowing you to leave like this.” James says firmly, palming the keys and keeping them wrenched in the center of his grasp.

“Give me the keys, James.” Sirius finally demands, voice angry and low.

“No.” James answers, resolute in his decision. “Not like this. Not right now.”

“Monty is sick.” Sirius whispers to the metal of his bike, his hands still cradling his head as the reality of the situation settles in and his emotions swell. Tears rise to his eyes as he speaks the words. “Monty is SICK! If he’s in a hospice, then he’s dying too! And she, she what? Thinks that information is hers alone to hoard? Hers alone to bear?”

“She’s undoubtedly hurting. Probably feels like no one could understand.” James answers with his closest guess, causing Sirius to huff humorlessly.

“He and Silas raised me too. Gave me more than my own fucking parents ever did. So if she thinks I’m going to sit by idly while he-“ Sirius rants only to be interrupted by James and his rationality again.

“So you’re going to go where? Do what, exactly?”

“Look! Just because you could care less about the fact that she just up and decided one day to say ‘you know what? fuck you’ and abandon us, doesn’t mean you get to brandish your indifference against me!” Sirius bellows from the core of his being, whipping his head up to finally look James in the face, only to be promptly rendered speechless.

James is standing still with his head held high and his shoulders squared. Even the voice he uses is uniform and decisive, yet his eyes. Sirius finds that his eyes are overshadowed and blazing with hardy emotion as tears dampen his cheeks.

James in fact was not indifferent, nor was he detached. He was thoroughly hurt, and utterly pissed.

“You think I am unmoved by her wanton neglect? I am not. You think I am cool, and callous? I am not. She was my friend too.” James speaks steadily, mindfully, as though if he did not take care to stress and enunciate every word he would be swept up by his own internal whirlpool. “And she left me all the same.”

“But, Sirius.” James sighs, reaching his empty hand out to grasp his friend’s shoulder as though he were suddenly saddled with a great weight. “If Lily is suffering even a fraction of what I am, then I am certain I need to be strong, for her. If not just for myself. Which is why I am not allowing myself to be cast astray.”

Looking away, Sirius rubs his eyes. Feeling tired, considerably petty, and begrudgingly he wonders when James got to be so darn cool. Briefly, he thinks perhaps that’s what being married does to a man, but quickly scraps the notion. No, even at his most immature, James Potter had always held this unique quality to stand firm while others waded in uncertainty.

“What do you recommend we do then, Obi Wan Kenobi?” Sirius dryly jokes, even though there’s a pit in his chest that doesn’t want to laugh, smile, or tolerate any sort of frivolity.

“There’s a right and a wrong way to approach this.” James begins mapping out the best possible course of action as he once would have as the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. “We can’t blindside her by suddenly showing up to her house and then realistically expect her to want to play any part in our lives. Lily wants her support, especially with the pregnancy, so we really need to handle this with care.”

“Right.” Sirius scoffs, dismounting his bike and taking his hair down so that he could massage his scalp. “So the objective is to reopen communication with someone who wants nothing to do with us, and we have to figure out a way to do that without pissing them off. You might as well ask me to open a door with both of my hands tied behind my back.”

“Okay, admittedly there is a very wide margin for potential error.” James nods, his mouth pressed into a fine line as his eyes narrow and blink rapidly.

“So your suggestion is, what, exactly?” Sirius asks, leaning back against his bike with his ankles crossed and arms folded.

“We write a letter?” James proposes with his eyebrows raised and his eyes portraying that he’s every bit of the word clueless.

“You’ll write the letter.” Sirius corrects, cocking his head forward as though to remind James who exactly he’s asking to be tactful and precise.

“Yeah. No, you’re right. I’ll, I’ll write the letter.”

—

October 27th, 1979

YOU

Over the years, you’d taken to living amongst muggles rather easily, adapting what habits were required of you to appear as normal and unassuming as possible. Using magic only within the confines of your home and taking great care not to forgo your wand all together, but to keep it concealed in case of any immediate need.

All things considered, you’d done well for yourself, having racked up a total of zero Muggle witch hunts during your last two years and two months attempting to disguise yourself as normal, when you were anything but.

Though, as a gray and white owl pecks at your office window with a white envelope tucked in between its beak, with the handwriting you’d spent years deciphering during your girlhood scrawled across the front, just as you’re closing the bookshop for the night- you inwardly muse to yourself that all good streaks must in fact be broken in order for life to shake itself up again.

“Oh! Neat, more wizard mail. What do you reckon the occasion is this time?” Grant asks with a grin, showcasing his infuriatingly endearing wonky canine tooth. His dark blonde brows arch upwards as he sets the recent issue of National Geographic aside, in favor of this new outlet of entertainment.

“It’s not The Ministry this time.” You begrudgingly note, standing from your desk and moving towards the glass. “Help me with this fucking window, will you?”

“Can do.” He answers jovially, following closely behind, only to do most of the lifting himself. The rusty old latches give way as you both force it to open with brute force alone. Grant leans against the windowsill, thoroughly amused as the bird slips underneath the opening the two of you made for it.

The creature curiously rotates its head as you don’t accept the letter right away, watching instead as you move to retrieve a singular banana slice from the bowl of fruit you’d been only intermittently nibbling on, much to Grant’s irritation. Only once sufficient payment was in hand did you interchange the treat for the letter.

“Have a rest, Roux.” You softly say to the owl, your face unchanging as it nuzzles its feathery cheek into your bent knuckles, and Grant doesn’t comment on the way the bird seems to happily chirp in the familiarity of your presence.

Neither does he crowd in behind you, resting his face up against your own as he nosily reads the contents and purposefully ignores the way you grumble, as though you were actually bothered by the intrusion and not wholly comforted by the effortlessness of the gesture alone.

This time he gives you your space, and a part of you wishes he didn’t, as you nervously finger the red wax sealed envelope. Sure, it was only James by the look of it, but you hadn’t spoken to him in precisely a year, and now suddenly there’s a letter delivered with your name inscribed on it, in his handwriting.

Deciding it would be better to rip the bandaid off in one fell swoop so as to not prolong your internal worrying, you deftly retrieve the slip of paper encased inside. The message it held was short and to the point.

* *

Y/n,

Would’ve liked the first words I spoke to you in almost a year to have been in person, but this will have to suffice for now. Would you be willing to speak to me, or any of us, sometime soon?

Lils tried to call your landline earlier today, but ended up reaching the house caretaker instead. I’m really sorry to hear about Monty’s condition. Please reply, lovebug.

Yours in mischief,

and in good,

James.

P.s. I’m certain Roux is positively thrumming with excitement to see you, he always tends to be a little bit needy when he hasn’t seen you in a while. Give him plenty of good scratches for your old pal Potter, will you?

* *

And for a moment, you think he’s a jerk, just for being sweet, for taking the high road when you waxed cruel in the manner in which you broke all contact. Then you feel sad, and guilty, and you know it’s rightfully so. This was something to be repentant for.

Sinking into your chair, your eyes shine glossy as you make eye contact with Grant, who always tended to just know. “Bad decisions have a way of sticking to us huh?”

“As reminders for when the time comes to do what’s right.” He answers, with the slightest of smiles.

—

December 7th, 1977

5 months and 17 days after Graduation,

1 month and 9 days post Self-Isolating

YOU

The five months you spent juggling two Muggle jobs, at one point even managing to shortly maintain a third, based in the customer service industry facilitated the discovery of new borders of misery for you. The hours were long, the pay was lacking and you were convinced most people became possessed by the spirit of narcissism the second they stepped foot into shops of any kind.

In the month since you’d purposefully shut down all avenues of communication between yourself and the group, and by proximity, the entirety of The Wizarding community- you’d diminished to something of a self-imposed recluse.

A grouchy, self-loathing hedge witch who busied yourself with skulking about your lonesome dwelling. Spending hours listening to muggle music stations and keeping your nose deep in books, both fictional and educational. Another large portion of your downtime was geared towards advancing your proclivity for mixing potions, elixirs and crafting tonics.

You checked in on your father, who lived in the main house directly next to your small outbuilding, routinely in order to advise his nurse and the house caretaker; outside of which, you were rarely seen, spoken to or generally thought of by anyone in your immediate vicinity. And for a while you genuinely preferred it that way.

There was no longer anyone for you to sell yourself to, in a sense. No appearances to upkeep, lies of contentment to maintain or people to force yourself to smile at. At work, though no one flat out admitted it, you were merely just another body used to push boxes and restock shelves. It didn’t matter if you were happy or slept and ate enough, just so long as you showed up on time and stayed out of any trouble that could place you under close scrutiny.

But at the five month mark, you realized you’d truly left yourself no one. By then, self pity, discontentment and loneliness regained residency in your back pocket yet again and you were spurred to find new avenues to keep yourself occupied.

You eventually took to walking about town, however not before fortifying yourself with a selfcrafted shield charm; the effect resulting in all potential onlooker’s eyes to quite literally roll off of you, even if they’d been staring right at the spot where you were standing. It allowed you to visit various shops without any unwarranted social interactions, for a total of two hours before you’d have to recast it.

Today was yet another walking event, you studied people and buildings alike. Often wondering what their stories were, what they ate, what times they awoke and went to bed, if they ever felt alone in crowds or laid in bed crying into the bleeding black corners when it was time to go to bed too.

Today however, you were drawn to a building that is all brown and red brick, with a black storefront frame. The name on the front read, Pearlescent Moon Books.

It was the bookshop Silas opened and ran with one of his mates from college, Racburter. Until Silas’ death in 1975, when said ‘mate’ decided he was no longer interested in sharing the business, and proceeded to withhold all of the shop’s future earnings from Monty and yourself.

Overwhelmed with Silas’ funeral costs, his own grief and a fifteen year old child to continue to raise on his own, Monty was forced to cut his losses while he was ahead. He couldn’t afford to retain a lawyer or find time outside of work to build a case. The icing on the cake was that Silas left no last will or testament, and they were never officially married to begin with.

Stepping across the same red carpet, through the aisles of darkened and aged wooden shelves filled with books of different genres, you think back on your childhood.

There were still tiny traces of you as a toddler, growing up within the space; marker lines messily stained into corners of the carpeting or remnants of glue and glitter smacked onto a random wall, now mostly hidden behind a shelf. You briefly wondered if Racburter had either been too cheap, or a pinch too sentimental to conceal all traces of the past, when you hear someone speaking nearby as though they were addressing you.

Turning around, you’re met with an almost familiar visage. Racburter, but instead of the towering, proud and smirking figure you’d last seen, he too had diminished.

He’d lost some height with the way his spine now slouched forward as his knobby knuckles clenched a simple walking stick. In place of a once golden complexion and high cheekbones, was now bordering a sallow and translucently pale sheet of skin, showcasing all the red and blue veins it held underneath it; purply red lines intermingled with the rest.

A once full head of thick, curly hair, matching the exact likeness of charcoal, was replaced with a patch of scalp apparent at the crown of his head. His eyes had sunken, undereyes weighed down with purple rolls. His lips shriveled and overly pink. He looked like an odd shadow of a human for a man of only thirty-eight years.

“Mr. Racburter.” You acknowledged the older man with a curt nod of your head.

“You’re his girl.” He states plainly and it isn’t a question, his voice blunt around the edges. “It’s been two years and you’ve grown some, but I still recognize you all the same. Even with the dark circles under your eyes and the dyed hair.”

“You know,” He continues. “I can still recall the days he’d bring you in with him, before he met your father of course. You were only three years old but always so insistent he dressed you up in the most pastel little dresses.

“He’d buy you soft serve ice cream on the cone, and you’d beg and beg until either of us propped you up onto the counter, right next to the cash register while we rang up books. `So I can say hello to all the pretty ladies’ you’d say most days. And that would give him and I more than a good chuckle at the time.” He recounts, and you’re gnawing your bottom lip at the recollection, trying not to tear up.

You remembered those times well, if not for the ice cream you highly anticipated, then for all the moments when the local business women would bring their orders up to the cash wrap and shower you in compliments.

You only give him a nod but he appears to be preoccupied with other thoughts as his face borders serious.

“I know I don’t look the same as I once did either.” He confesses soberly. “I used to be strong, handsome. A right bastard, but charming enough to get away with it.”

“What I did to your father by sullying his memory, and my promise to him.” He inhales deeply from his nose, before continuing. “I swore to him before he passed, that he could go with no regrets, because I’d, I’d look out for you and Monty. I didn’t hold true to that, and as you can see, it’s the one thing I couldn’t get away with.”

“It’s only been two years but the time has crawled at a snail’s pace for me. I’ve withered. And I, I’m going to die very soon. I know it, I can feel it.” He stresses the final admittance by placing a clawing hand over his chest. If you looked into his eyes, you could see that he was tired, not only physically but mentally, emotionally.

You inwardly remarked that he had the look of someone who had given up fighting. And you briefly pondered if perhaps you looked worn and fatigued around the edges too, if that was why you insisted on hiding yourself whenever you ventured out, because you didn’t want anyone else to know that you were quietly waiting to see your Da again.

Especially since your Pa only seemed to wane by the day, unable to talk or stay awake most of the time, biding the months until he was reunited with the one he loved the most.

Though, Racburter pulls you from that thought as he speaks up. “In the beginning there were times when I thought my health draining was his way of enacting his revenge on me, of making me unable to even enjoy the prize I stole away for myself.”

“But recently, I’ve been able to remember him as he was. And, and it was not in Silas’ nature to hurt those who had gravely wronged him. I may have forgotten the truth but I’ve also regained much clarity in my last days. Silas would not have cursed me.”

And you nod softly again, unable to control the way your eyes clouded with tears as you agreed affirmingly. “No, Da wouldn’t have hurt you Mr. Racburter. He wouldn’t have wished ill on anyone.”

Your father was an overwhelmingly kind man, who would look gravely sad when he thought no one was paying close enough attention to him. And at times you think you inherited that quality from him after he passed. As though he’d accidentally gifted his sadness onto you, when you were intended to be something else, something good, like he was. But instead you ended up the way you did, isolated and jealous of the dead.

“It is not a habit of mine to visit the shop anymore. Mostly due to my condition, I have not bothered myself to come here in months, but today I thought I might withstand the journey.” He says, his voice gradually getting hoarser. This must have been the most he’d spoken for the first time in a long while, but he pushes through purposefully.

“I never married, or fathered any children of my own. My lawyer has been bothering me for months now to either name someone to inherit the rights to the business or sign away the property to the government. Now I know why I was called here today.” He then reaches into his pocket and retrieves a dark leather wallet, from inside he pulls out a single card and extends it to you.

“I am giving that which I owe you, and more.” He begins to breathe a little heavier. “This is my lawyer’s contact information. Call him, tell him that Eugene Racburter has made his decision, and that the old bastard plans on no longer answering any more phone calls.”

You take the card with wide eyes and tepid fingers, and before you can begin to speak, he hobbles away.

For a moment you wonder if his condition had anything to do with you, that perhaps in your initial state of grief and betrayal, you wished ill on him.

If that was the case, you wanted to set him free of that now. As you stand there, holding the last gift of Eugene Racburter between the tips of your fingers, you loosely extend your mind out to him and wish him well. “Set your soul at rest, Eugene. May you find comfort, respite and peace. I forgive you. I forgive you.”

That was the very last time you ever spoke to, or saw, Mr. Eugene Racburter.

—

January 29th, 1978

YOU

Eugene passed that very same early December night.

His lawyer later told you that he did not feel pain or discomfort in the end, instead he went peacefully in his sleep. Pushed beyond the veil with the upmost care.

Not only did Eugene name you the inheritor of the business, but he also gifted onto you the entirety of his life savings and the earnings he’d made from keeping the shop running for the two years he owed you, as well as the remaining fifteen years he spent working there.

He proved to be quite the frugal man, for the amount you were blessed with was no mere sum to scoff at, but instead a grand total of £136,670 GBP.

Your first course of action after you were given the news by the lawyer, Mr. William Michael Aberdeen as you'd later learned- was to quit both of your muggle jobs at once, without an ounce of regret or shred of guilt.

The second was to hold a funeral service for Eugene. The service was small, as not many attended, but it was beautifully organized by yourself and Mr. Aberdeen. You sent your father’s friend off with many flowers, thanks and prayers; as he was a man who kept true to his promise to Silas in the end.

+ + +

Sudden wealth did not cure you of your many flaws and unhealthy ways of living. It did not suddenly make you eat more than you felt you could stomach, sleep in timely fashions or magically rebuild all the bridges you’d burnt. It wasn’t the cure for great loss and grief for a cherished loved one, or miraculously healed your surviving parent.

You still experienced depressive and overly anxious episodes. Still didn’t quite know how to actively make friends, long lasting or otherwise.

In short, even with money and an easy job, you were still a loving, insomniatic mess.

Sudden, abundant wealth did however, free you from ever having to work for another person or corporation ever again. You were your own boss, manager and supervisor. You got to decide what was acceptable behavior from customers, and what was not. You chose how many people worked for and with you, and it was nothing short of liberating.

You started at home base first, hiring the nurse that had kindly and diligently taken care of your father through a service offered by the government, fulltime. You gave Rosalind room and board, as well as a healthy raise to her initial earnings.

Rosalind Pikekit was a meek and dependable girl of twenty-eight from Manchester. She’d originally aspired to become a nun and live in a convent somewhere peaceful and scenic, before she’d decided against it at the last minute. She’d realized that deep down, she still held onto the hope that she might find someone nice to settle down with and marry.

Secondly was the house caretaker, Miss Grace Lenfield, a kind, respectable and rather serious girl of twenty-three from Northumberland. She’d traveled to Reading in search of an opportunity to live anywhere more populated than where she was sired and raised. In the end, she was quite pleased with the raise she’d received, smiling more than you’d ever thought she was particularly capable of.

With the book shop, which only employed a total of three, loyal employees who you quickly found maintained the standard business affairs rather well, and as a result you fired no one. In turn, hiring only one person at the recommendation and request of one of the long time employees, Margeaux Windfax.

Margeaux was a tall, buxom girl of twenty-five with short, box dyed black hair from Essex. She was a generally private but funny person, who more often than not managed to get a genuine laugh or two out of you during your transitional period as shop owner.

Your time with her however, was gradually coming to an end as her university graduation date approached and she prepared to take a job opportunity up in Oxford.

The person she’d recommended was a boy of eighteen, he was a touch lanky with short, fluffy dirty blonde hair, a fair complexion and a wholly disarming smile; his name was Grant Chapman.

He’d been passed from one unloving guardian to the next as a younger boy, until the only places he lived on a regular basis were care homes for ‘troubled’ or ‘challenged’ youths. Margeaux later explained that she’d gotten to know him during the summer she’d spent volunteering at the care home he’d lived in when she was twenty-three, and he, sixteen.

She remarked that at the time she’d realized he was a good kid who just needed a little TLC, so she kept her landline the exact same just in case he ever needed a helping hand. And a little while after he’d turned eighteen, he’d apparently given her a call and she’d made sure he got on the first train to Reading, allowing him to crash at her place until he got on his feet.

Grant’s education over the years had been sporadic, but for what he lacked in that field initially, he quickly made up for in social and emotional intelligence, as well as being a remarkably quick visual learner.

You’d interacted with him intermittently in the beginning, but from the few moments you had been in his presence, he made you feel more your age than you had felt in a very long time. And momentarily you remembered that despite everything that made you feel old, worn and weathered inside, you were just seventeen.

Margeaux moved to Oxford on the ninth of January, Grant finished training on the twelfth. And on the twenty-first, he stopped coming in to work. No call, no show.

You’d initially found it strange seeing as he’d made considerable progress on the register and was absolutely adored by all customers that lined up into his queue. But left with no way to reach out to him, you were forced to continue running things as they once had been. Though you weren’t in any hurry to fill the position, resolving to maintain the role yourself.

+ + +

It wasn’t until the night of January twenty-ninth that you saw Grant Chapman again.

You’d been on your way home from treating yourself to a solo cinema date, a semi-indulgent act of leisure that you had intentionally been attempting to nurture, when you threw a customary glance around at your surroundings, only to see someone who you thought to be Grant; standing in an alleyway with his back pressed into grimy brick as a man pointed the tip of a pocket knife at his throat.

For a split second you simply stood there, your feet glued to the pavement as potential courses of action lined up in your head, neurotically shuffling through each one as a timer began ticking.

The first advantage you had was that you were completely concealed, having casted your shield charm before you stepped out of the theater- seeing as it was well past ten, broaching eleven at night, and you were a teen girl making your commute completely alone. You could act and not have to risk exposure.

Your next worry however was the knife shining at Grant’s jugular, if you weren’t absolutely meticulous about what spells coincided with which, you could inadvertently be responsible for slicing his throat yourself. This automatically removed expelliarmus, stupefy and petrificus totalus out of the running. These spells could accidentally result in the knife being flung in an undesirable direction.

Unable to risk waiting any longer you suck in a deep breath and you slip into the shadows, producing your wand out of your sleeve.

Momentarily you consider that if you were a bit cleverer, you might have been able to pull this off with more elegance and grace. But you only had one shot at this, and desolved to go with the spells you were absolutely certain you could pull off nonverbally.

Grant has both arms clinging to a metal pipe protruding from the alleyway brick, his eyes seem to barely be capable of staying open as he squints pointedly at the perpetrator, blinking sluggishly as though he’s actively attempting to stay present and awake. He says nothing as insults and threats alike are nastily spit into his face.

“Let go of the fucking pipe.” The man roughly snarls in a way that would be thoroughly menacing if said person was holding you at knifepoint, except he wasn’t.

The switchblade suddenly clangs to the pavement beside their feet, his detached fingers almost soundlessly plopping and rolling alongside the metallic instrument as they appear to cleanly amputate themselves.

“Mmh-“ The garbled noise emanates from the back of his throat but, before his exclamation of bafflement, or horror can meet his lips, he’s propelled nearly six feet as an errant portable AC unit throttles at full force into his side and you’re more than certain his left arm is broken, at the very least.

As the man lay sprawled out amongst almost damp patches of what you could only assume was human urine, and a few traces of rat excrement, he feebly groans out in pain.

Grant now swayed in place, having fully forgone holding onto the pipe for dear life amidst the puzzling debacle. As he stood squinting at the man through the dark, you clasped one of his hands into your own abruptly, causing him to jolt around in alarm.

“It’s me! It’s me.” You whisper lowly, your faces mere inches apart so that only he could hear you. You watched as his eyes widened and squinted as he momentarily attempted to place who you were. When you’d known he had properly doneso, you pulled him towards the entryway of the alley, where you had quietly slipped in from.

Lightly pushing him forward from behind so that you were certain he would not see the amputated digits not return to the man but simply pop out of existence; you figured if the guy was going to hold weapons to the throats of defenseless teenage boys, then he didn’t deserve to hold anything from that former hand again.

+ + +

With Grant’s hand in yours, you hurriedly pulled him further and further away from the scene.

While you were positive that no ordinary witness would be able to connect you to the event of a muggle getting his fingers divorced from his hand and then promptly steamrolled by an air conditioner- you were well aware that doing magic on a muggle, in front of a muggle, while you were concealed or not- could result in your wand being snapped, or worse. Azkaban was not for the faint of heart and you weren’t in any particular hurry to find out if you truly were made of stronger stuff.

Only once you were certain there were more than three blocks separating you from the man, did you slow down to a stop and turn to properly assess Grant’s condition. He hadn’t spoken at all during the entire getaway, or the initial incident.

Still grasping his hand, in hopes that physical contact lent the effects of your charm onto him (since you never had cause to test it at this level of capacity before), you looked over his person for any immediate reasons to worry. He appeared fine, albeit his clothes were wrinkled beyond belief and a bit grungy. The only signal being his apparent difficulty to keep his eyes focused and legs sturdy.

“Grant, what happened? Can you tell me?” You asked gently, searching for anything that might explain all of this.

“Waz drinkin’ at a pub.” He starts, his speech notably slurred but not unintelligible. “Met that guy, he bought me a drink, which I thought waz nice. Waz g’nna go home with ‘im, but then, I started feelin drowsi.”

Oh, you think. Getting the gist of the situation before he even finishes his explanation, and you effectively feel sick. Grossed out beyond belief as your stomach feels like it’s dropped to your feet, and for a moment you allow yourself to consider tucking this lovely boy somewhere safe- maybe waking Rosalind and Grace up to look after him so you could apparate back to that spot.

He’d probably still be there, or at least somewhere nearby, and it wouldn’t take you long to find him. You were certain you could think of ways to leave him even worse for wear than you already had.

“I’m so sorry that, fucker, did this to you, Grant.” You breathe out, biting your bottom lip as you look up at him. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“No.” He weakly shakes his head. “No, don’t. Please.”

You’re worried about him, but at a loss by his adamant refusal, resolving to at least see him safely home. “Well let me get you home then? Can you recall your address okay?”

But yet again he shakes his head, keeping his eyes closed or pointedly away from you as you ask, “You aren’t able to remember it right now?”

“I,” His voice cracks and he swallows, sluggishly busying himself with peering at the people who line the streets of the more popular areas of Reading at night. All seeming to pass in droves completely unaware of your presence, and you watch as he appears to focus on one group in particular- a rather common, nuclear family of five who blissfully go about their evening as the littluns tug their parents’ hands for one thing or another.

And for a moment you both watch almost enviously as their possibly bratty, or endearing demands are met only with words of acquiescence and fond grins, before they’re completely out of sight, and Grant attempts to clear his throat.

“I can’t recall it, becaz I don’t ‘ave one.” He mutters, face downturned out of shame, or weariness. “I’m ‘omeless. I’ve been ‘omeless since Mars lef’ for Oxford.”

“Where have you been sleeping?” You inquire, eyes squared on his face even as he refuses to meet your gaze.

“Been couch surfin’ when people I meet at pubs or clubs would let me crash. Spent a few nights passed out on benches, when the police were in’t ‘round to kick me off that iz.”

You inhale deeply after he finishes explaining, before tightening your grip on his hand.

“I have a spare bed and more food than I can personally even begin to eat. It’s yours if you want it, and don’t mind/aren’t allergic to animals. I have three.” You offer and his eyes finally focus onto your features.

“I’m not ‘lergic.” He answers slowly, eyeing you cautiously as if you might be pulling his leg. You aren’t.

“Good.” You nod curtly, pursing your lips into a fine line. “It’s settled then. You’ll come with me.”

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isolemnlyswearpevensie · 4 years

Text

Nothing Changed But Everything’s Different | Sirius Black x Reader

Warning: slowburn angst, mentions of slight violence, alcohol, no happy ending

Time/Era: Marauder Era, Ages 18-21

Word Count: 10.1k

Summary: Sirius found someone who made him believe in love at first sight.

Request: Okay! :) Well in that case can I have an ANGST Sirius x Reader? Where they’ve been together for a few years (it’s post-hogwarts only a couple years) but the relationship is starting to sour and crumble. Sirius being Sirius is flirting with other girls and just neglecting y/n. They argue a lot and everyone can see that it’s deteriorating. It gets to a point where he just flat doesn’t acknowledge her even though they live together, long and ANGSTY pls 🥺 :) U decide the ending! :) Ty, much love!

A/N: I worked really, really hard on this so I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think :)

part 2 | masterlist | marauders era playlist | read on ao3

“She’s absolutely gorgeous, Prongs!” A young Sirius Black twirled around the dorm room and fell onto his bed with a dreamy sigh. “She’s witty and smart mouthed, but she’s so sweet and nice at the same time. She listens to the Weird Sisters and Queen and she’s a total badass.”

“Y/N L/N?” James scoffs, bending over a sketch he was working on. It appeared to be an intricate building of some sort, complete with four stories and geometric windows.

“Yes, Y/N L/N! I think it’s love at first sight, Prongsy. I’m going to marry that girl one day.” Sirius laid one of his ankles against the post of his bed. The leather of his boot made a loud squeaking noise, and James cringed.

“Have you ever even talked to Y/N L/N?” James smiled smugly and smudged ink across the side of his hand.

“Have you ever had an actual conversation with Lily Evans?” Sirius countered, making James sputter. James looked diagonally towards Sirius and moved his head so their corresponding bedposts weren’t in the way.

“I have! This morning, for example! We talked about the morning toast for a full 3 minutes!” His glasses began to fog as his cheeks warm. Sirius laughed heartily and threw the pillow that was under his head square at James’ face. With a deep ‘oof,’ James looks back towards Sirius, glasses now crooked. “Fine, don’t believe me! You’re just angry Evans is finally starting to fall for my charm.”

“Ah yes, my bad. I forgot sweat and body odor was irresistible to girls.”

“Lily isn’t a girl.” James reached his slender fingers to level his glasses. “She’s a woman.”

Sirius was sent into hysterics; chest heaving, loud laughter, tearful, hysterics. James rolled his eyes and threw the pillow back at Sirius. But, in all of its glory, the cushion hit Sirius’ bedpost and sent feathers flying through the air. Sirius busts out in even more laughter, falling to the floor with a big, dramatic thud.

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks, entering the room and setting his bag onto his bed. “Why is Pads on the floor?”

“JP assaulted me!”

“I DID NOT YOU THREW FIRST!!!”

Remus chuckled under his breath and unbuckled his bag to retrieve his homework. “And what exactly caused this alleged assault? Did Sirius call you Prancer again?”

A bark sounding laugh came from Sirius and James scowled.

“No, we were just talking about his newfound obsession with Y/N L/N and he took an unwarranted dig at mine and Lily’s relationship.”

Remus snorted and set his work on his desk. “What relationship?” Sirius let out another “HA” and pulled himself back onto his mattress. “And isn’t Y/N L/N the one who called your hair greasy, Pads?”

“Well, yes, but I like a woman with a bit of attitude,” Sirius sighed dreamily. His left pointer finger, ring and all, came to twirl a chunk of his hair. “I think I want an autumn wedding.”

“You’re not getting married to her, mate. You don’t even know her.” James came to Remus’ bed and started poking around his bag. “Are you putting on the scar ointment Pomfrey gave you still, Moons? Hey! Stop picking at that one, you’re going to make it worse!” He slapped Remus’ hand away from his face and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Who are you? My mother?”

“I am too going to marry her, James! Just watch me!”

Peter opened the door solemnly, a grumpy look plastered on his face. James turns nervously towards him before slapping him on the back.

“What happened, Pete? I thought you were supposed to be on a date?”

“I was, but she stood me up. Again.” Peter responds, making a beeline for the window seat. Conveniently, it was located next to his bed, so he haphazardly tossed his school bag onto the mattress. He grabs hold of one of the pillows before hugging it to his chest and burying his head into it. Sirius and James share a look before Sirius speaks up.

“Awh, you’ll get ‘em next time. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s her loss, really.”

“No, it was my loss. It was Abagail Cavin, mate. It was definitely my loss.” Peter’s voice was muffled as he muttered into the soft fabric.

“Who’s Abagail Cavin?” Sirius asks, looking towards Remus for an answer. He shrugs.

“I think that’s the ginger girl who always hangs around Y/N L/N? A year or two below us,” James thought aloud. “She’s friends with Lily too, I’ve seen them studying together.”

Remus snorts. “Of course you have.”

“I don’t know if I’m sad or angry.” The mousy boy admits, throwing the pillow in his lap at the wall. It hit one of Sirius’ Queen posters, making the frame fall to the floor with a loud crash. James is quick to swoop in and redirect Peter’s attention in fear of him escalating.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, there’s no need to get mad at Abagail. Um, how about we go get some sweets from the kitchens, yeah? Maybe that’ll make you feel better.”

Peter tightened his jaw, staring at the now shattered frame on the ground. After a moment of silence from all the boys, Peter nodded and the pair exited the room.

“Y/N L/N,” Sirius spoke in his signature flirty voice. He tried to match her walking pace, but she seemed to be in a rush.

“Sirius Black, what can I do for you?” Y/N answered, her school uniform skirt swaying as she walked. She was on her way to meet Abagail in the library so the two could study together, and she was already 5 minutes late.

“I was wondering if you would -excuse me, sorry- if you would like to go to the next Quidditch match with me?” Y/N seemed to swerve in and out of the crowded hallway like a car in heavy traffic. “Supposed to be a good game, you know.”

“Me? Go with you? While you cheer your little boyfriend on? Thanks for offering, but I have to decline.”

“Come on, you always go anyway! It could be fun!” Sirius finally matched Y/N’s fast gait. “And maybe we could grab some hot butterbeer or cider after.”

Y/N sighed, suddenly stopping at the entrance of the library. She faced Sirius boldly and grabbed his upper arms with her hands.

“Listen, it’s really flattering that you want me to go with you, and I have to admit, you’re super cute. But, you don’t exactly have the best track record with girls and I don’t want to be just a checkmark on your list of girls to shag.”

While any person would be wounded by Y/N’s blunt assumptions, Sirius grins. “That’s where you’re wrong, love. I don’t really have a track record with girls, unless you count the week I dated Marlene McKinnon the October of our 2nd year. It’s our 7th year and I’ve had one kind-of girlfriend.”

Sirius watched as Y/N’s facial expression changed. Taking this as an invitation to keep going, he rubs his hands together and continues. “And if you’re talking about shagging, I’ve shagged maybe three girls who were not on some kind of to-fuck list, thank you very much.” Sirius suddenly leans in so he could whisper. “I’m just flirty. And based on the look on your face, the flirting is working.”

“Y/N!” Abagail’s voice made Y/N drop her hands and Sirius smirk. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, we’re just chit chatting,” Sirius answers for Y/N. “But, I do have a question for you, Ab.”

Abagail’s face scrunched in response. “Don’t call me that. What’s your question?”

“Why’d you stand up my mate Peter?” Sirius now stood with his feet shoulders width apart, arms crossed over his chest and his hair pulled to one side. Y/N couldn’t help but admire how well Sirius’ uniform pants fit.

“What do you mean, stand him up? We talked about hanging out, but we never made actual plans. Honestly, I don’t really think I want to make any official plans. Some of the things he says are kinda scary.” Y/N looks sympathetically towards her friend.

“I told you to just ignore him, babes.”

“I know, I know. I really think he’s a nice guy deep down though.”

Sirius looked puzzled, “What harmless, little Peter Pettigrew says scares you?”

Abagail nods frantically, “He came and sat with Lily and me when we were studying in the library last week. He went on a rant about how he can’t wait to become an Auror just to see,” The girl lifted her fingers to so air quotes. “How far he can take it.”

“That doesn’t sound like Peter at all,” Sirius’ eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Well, it was. And Y/N and I have a lot of studying to do. So, if you’ll excuse us.” Abagail gently tugged at Y/N’s arm.

“Wait! So, is it a date, Y/N?” Sirius called after the girls. Y/N turned over her shoulder and beamed.

“Common room before the match. I don’t like to be kept waiting, Black!”

“You don’t like to be kept waiting… but you think it’s perfectly okay to leave me all alone in the common room? That’s not very kind, Y/N.” Sirius watched Y/N descend the stairs to the girls dormitory. He was wearing his Gryffindor sweater and ripped black jeans, his hair tied messily in a bun. A long, striped scarf dangled lazily on his shoulders and draped down his frame to his mid thigh.

“I said before the match and if I’m not mistaken, it’s before the match.” Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Are those for me?”

Sirius quickly stood, holding out a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. “Heh, yeah. I thought it was fitting because it’s the middle of October and we’re going to a Quidditch match. The leaves are orange and there’s so many colors and the sunflowers have the same kind of color pallet-”

“Sirius, they’re lovely. Thank you.” Y/N cut off the blabbering boy. She took the flowers happily and observed their pretty petals. Sirius was right; the rich golden color matched the fallen leaves that littered the Hogwarts grounds. Y/N held up a waiting finger to Sirius so she could go leave her flowers in her dorm.

“It’s pretty cold out, love, do you want to grab a jacket?” Sirius said when she returned.

“It’s all in the name of fashion, my dear,” Y/N pulls a piece of hair behind her ear and nods towards the portrait hole. “Shall we?”

Y/N sat in the crowd with her legs crossed; her shoulders were slumped forwards and her hands stayed sandwiched in between her thighs. Gryffindor was absolutely destroying Ravenclaw with the impressive score of 80-10.

“The snitch is right by Potter’s head!” Y/N screeched, bumping Sirius’ shoulder with her own.

“Where?! I don’t see it!”

“To the right! Meadowes needs to catch it before Lockhart sees it!” Y/N shivers in spite of herself, bringing her hands to her mouth in order to warm them. Sirius snickers and loops his scarf around her shoulders.

“Hopefully that doesn’t ruin your outfit, love.” Sirius winks and turns back to the game.

The scarf was soft and toasty, and smelt exactly like Sirius. The satisfying mix of leather, butterbeer, pine and smoke engulfed her senses and made her dizzy. Y/N wrapped it around her arms and snuggled deeper into the soft knit.

“Meadowes spots the snitch!” Remus announces over the intercom. The entire statum seemed to erupt into chaos; cheers and boos echoing off of every surface within 500 feet.

Y/N had always had a soft spot for Remus; they weren’t friends, but something about him was so warm and inviting. He in no way seemed like the type to announce a Quidditch match, but it appears that when you’re friends with James Potter long enough, anything could happen.

Dorcas zooms past the Gryffindor student section in her pursuit for the snitch. The entire group, Lily and Marlene especially, scream out loud words of encouragement. Y/N could have sworn she could see a faint smile appear across Dorcas’ features.

“Potter scores! 10 points to Gryffindor! 90-10! Ravenclaw could still win if Lockhart catches the snitch!”

“Come on, come on,” Sirius mumbles under his breath. No matter how much he liked to deny it, Sirius got really into Quidditch. He couldn’t play for shit, but he knew the mechanics of the game like the back of his hand.

“Meadowes catches the snitch! Gryffindor wins!!” The entire crowd goes ballistic. Kids hug, and some kiss, before storming the field to congratulate their team. James stays on his broom, doing small loops in the air in the hopes of impressing a certain redhead.

Sirius wraps his strong arms around his date, pulling her to her feet and lifting her into the air. “We won, Y/N! We won!!”

Y/N snakes her arms around Sirius in return, a similar happiness bubbling in her chest.

“What’d ya say about grabbing some hot cider from the kitchens to celebrate?” Sirius questions, noticing they’re the last students at their seats.

Y/N nods, a soft smile gracing her face. “Yes, please. I’m fucking freezing.”

“It would be easier if you just levitated the boxes in, love.” Y/N watched as Sirius struggled to carry boxes into the living room of their new flat. She giggled, admiring her boyfriend’s flexed biceps and strong hands. The prominent veins in his hands and forearms were bulging, making the manual labor a show for his very happy girlfriend.

“I feel like that’s bad luck,” Sirius explained, placing the cardboard onto the floor. “I want to do this right. If I don’t we could be cursed.”

“Whatever you say, babe. But, just so you know, that box goes into the kitchen.” With a flirty wink and smile, Y/N walked into their bedroom to unpack some of their boxes.

Their new flat wasn’t overly exciting; it was a one bedroom, one bath flat above a small bakery in the center of London. It was a tiny space, as you’d expect two barely-twenty-year-olds to own, but it would soon be their home. Y/N was just excited the flat had a kitchenette and a small living space.

The best part, in Y/N’s opinion at least, was the fact that the smell of freshly baked bread filled their flat at the beginning of each day. The elderly bakery owners, Jullian and Caspar, had given the young couple a good price on the flat. According to them, they were waiting for the perfect couple to rent from them. What that meant, Y/N didn’t know, but it made her feel special all the same.

Y/N looked out of their window to the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk below. The shop was a small, hole in the wall bakery called Dream Puffs, that was oddly popular for its location. And Y/N was quick to understand why. Almost everything they made, especially the sour dough bread and cream puffs, were to die for. Jillian had presented Sirius and her a large loaf of the bread and a dozen cream puffs as a welcome present, most of which had been eaten already. Y/N wished she had known of Dream Puffs and the wonderful owners before, but she supposed she still had a lot to discover in London.

The one downside was the only way to get into their apartment was by going through the bakery. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but when you’re in a rush or having a bad day, having to face random people isn’t the most ideal situation. Jullian and Caspar were nice enough to close the bakery early for the couple’s move in.

“I thought you were supposed to be unpacking?” Sirius poked his head into their bedroom with sweat dripping down his brow.

“Oh right, sorry,” Y/N lazily flicked her wand and their clothing sprang to life.

“Bad luck, Y/N!” He entered the room and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, laid his chin on her shoulder and looked out the window. The busy streets and buildings were muted by the glass, which made Y/N feel as if they were watching ants in an ant farm.

“I doubt we’ll get bad luck from levitating a few shirts, darling,” Y/N brought one of his hands to her mouth, gently kissing his knuckles before returning it to her waist. “I can’t believe this place is ours,”

“Well, technically it’s Jillian’s and Caspars, but yes.” Sirius chuckles directly into Y/N’s ear and kisses her shoulder. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Yes and no. Not now, obviously, but eventually. We’re going to be together forever anyway, so why should we rush?”

Y/N sighed happily, feeling very loved.

“Do you think Abagail will ever talk to me again?” Peter asked, laying his head against the armrest of the couch. “I heard she's working at the book shop in Diagon Alley.”

Y/N snorted, laying her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and enjoying the sound of the record playing in the corner of the room. Sirius and Y/N were hosting a dinner party for their friends in celebration of James getting accepted into the Auror academy. The nine of them -Sirius, Y/N, James, Lily, Peter, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary- were all piled in Sirius and Y/N’s small living room, tipsy and full of warm food.

“That happened almost two years ago, Pete. Let it go,” Y/N hummed, Sirius’ gentle hand rubbing her back and lulling her to sleep. She could feel the vibrations of Sirius’ laughter through his leather jacket.

“Yeah, so? I’m not allowed to like someone that long?” Peter’s voice was harsher than he anticipated, making Sirius send a glare his way.

“She means stop moping around and pining after a girl who doesn’t want you. There’s a world of opportunity and thousands of girls just waiting to date you if you open your eyes to it.” Sirius’ tone was barely lighter than Peter’s.

“Well I don’t want thousands of girls, Padfoot. I want Abagail. Not everyone can hit it on their first try.”

“Hit it on their first try?” Y/N was now wide awake. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean,” Peter sat up, looking Y/N straight in the eyes. “You fucked Sirius on the first date.”

“Woah, woah, woah, alright that’s enough. Wormy, Pads, Y/N, let’s all just take a deep breath and calm down for a moment.” James was quick on his feet to defuse the potentially harmful situation. He knew how Peter could get, and he didn’t want to see it escalate to that point.

“Did you just slut shame me for having sex with my own boyfriend? Do you even have the authority to do that, Mr. Unused-Condom?” Y/N was now standing with James, starting to walk towards Peter. Peter stumbled to his feet and stared into Y/N’s eyes.

“He wasn’t your boyfriend then, Miss Drop-My-Panties-for-a-Knut.”

Sirius was quick to act, anger boiling inside of him. His knuckles balled into a fist and he threw a nasty punch square into Peter’s jaw. “No one insults my girl, Peter. I thought you knew better than that.” Sirius’ voice was like nothing Y/N had ever heard; it was cold and icy, yet fiery hot and full of hell-bending anger.

Peter looked up and slugged Sirius right in the nose, making it gush blood. Remus grabs Sirius’ arms and binds them behind his back, trusting James to do the same to Peter.

Y/N shrieked, having never seen Sirius or Peter get physical with anyone, let alone each other. Marlene grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the boys.

“What have we talked about, you two?” James demanded, the vein on his neck bulging.

“I’m not going to sit around and let him harass my girlfriend, JP! He’s a fucking asshole and he knows it!” Sirius struggled against his binds, but Remus was much stronger than him.

“I’m not the one dating a slut!”

“Get the fuck out of my flat!” Sirius screams making the room shake. Peter wiggles from James’ grip and grabs his wand before disapperating out of the room.

Remus releases Sirius and he stomps out of the flat and down the stairs, most likely to go smoke a cigarette. James quickly follows after a glance towards Lily.

“What did James mean when he said ‘what have we talked about,’ Remus?” Y/N asks, her soft voice a stark contrast from Sirius’ shouting. Remus runs a big hand down his face and plops onto the couch.

“I wasn’t supposed to let you girls know,” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Sirius and Peter have been at each other’s throats for the past few years. Recently, it started getting physical. James always tries to defuse the situation, but it doesn’t work a ton.” Remus meets Y/N’s gaze and smiles sadly. “That boy would do absolutely anything for you, I hope you know that.”

Sirius laid in bed with his arms wound tightly around Y/N’s waist. It was near 5 am and the light was just barely peeking through the window of their bedroom. The morning bread must have just been put in the oven, as the smell of fresh bread was slowly starting to overtake the flat. A long sliver of silver light slashed against the wall before fading delicately into the white paint. Sirius sighed contently and looked down at his girl.

Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly agape; Sirius observed how Y/N’s eyes moved under her eyelids while wondering what she was dreaming about. He hoped she dreamt of him, as his dreams were constantly riddled with her. Every aspect of her danced around his dreams: her lovely smile, her laugh, her scent, her gait, and everything that made Y/N Y/N. Sirius’ own lips parted a miniscule amount as he brought the back of his fingers to brush her cheek. He couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin was under his touch. She was so peaceful in this moment, and if she was to be disturbed, the world would crack.

But all good things come to an end, and Y/N opened her eyes. Her features were riddled with the grogginess of sleep as she batted her eyes to focus her vision.

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Her voice was honey in his ears.

“Perfect, my love. Go back to sleep.”

“What time is it?” Y/N began to wiggle from his strong grip, but Sirius tightened his hold on her waist.

The man shot a spare glance at the old coo-coo clock that hung in the corner. “Quarter to five”

“Then may I ask why you’re awake?”

Sirius sighed, pressing an opened mouth kiss on her forehead. “Couldn’t sleep, the nightmares are still awry.”

“What was it this time? Your mom?” Y/N was now wide awake and propped up onto her elbow.

“No, the last Order mission, actually,” Sirius gently brushed a clump of hair out of her eyes. “But it’s okay, I’m alright. I have you here with me.”

Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pierced. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, my darling. I just want to lay here with my beautiful girl in my arms.”

“I’ve never been to this bar before,” Y/N giggles as Sirius opens the door to the small building. The outside’s appearance was rather unappealing; cracked, exposed brick that has moss growing out of it, a leaky gutter system, a splintering wooden door and a faded open sign. Y/N looked up towards the LED sign that spelled out the bar’s name. Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery illuminated in the wet pavement, but multiple letters were unlit, making it read Silver Ickle and Eat.

“Me either, one of my clients works here and said she’d give me free drinks.” Sirius winked before following Y/N inside.

The place was small and drafty, but oddly cozy. It had the same exposed brick as the outside, but this time, they were bright red and covered in picture frames. A few wooden tables were scattered across the floor opposite the bar, and various older men sat with beers in their hands.

“Oh, Sirius! My love, you came!” A very angelic girl from behind bar squeals, quickly exciting the bar and throwing her arms around Sirius. Her hurried speed made Y/N step away from the pair to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Sirius chuckles heartily, wrapping his arms around her small frame, seeming to forget Y/N was there.

“Vanessa! Nice to see you again,” He exhaled. A sinking feeling settled in the bottom of Y/N’s stomach. “How is your tattoo healing?”

Vanessa pulls her shirt down to show Sirius the skin in between her breasts. On her skin sat a magical tattoo of a Hongorian Horntail dragon, which looked towards Sirius and blew a big breath of fire his way. The art was gorgeous, very obviously Sirius’ work, which only made Y/N’s stomach sink further into her feet. The red, lacy, v neck bra Vanessa was wearing brought out the ink in the tattoo perfectly, and the shape of the cut displayed not only her breasts, but the dragon beautifully.

Y/N knew that many of Sirius’ clients were girls; she wasn’t stupid. He was a newly licensed tattoo artist at the biggest magical tattoo parlor in all of London. Not to mention, Sirius was an incredibly talented artist, which meant his appointment list was extremely difficult to get on. The charming attitude and good looks only added to the appeal of his artistry.

“Who’s this?” Vanessa turned her gaze from Sirius’ to look directly at Y/N. Her long, black hair fell over her shoulder like a waterfall and her porcelain skin glowed under the dim lighting.

“Oh! Right,” Sirius stuttered, shooting a grin in Y/N’s direction. “This is my gorgeous girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N this is Vanessa, I did her dragon tattoo last week.”

Y/N forced herself to send a polite smile towards the girl who was just all over her boyfriend. Vanessa sent an equally fake smile and began to walk back to the bar.

“And what can I get started for you, handsome?” She giggled, standing in front of the large wall of liquor. Y/N felt as if she was back at Hogwarts with all the girls throwing themselves at Sirius.

“Old fashioned,” Sirius responded, taking place on one of the wooden stools. “And for the lady, tequila on the rocks with lime.”

Vanessa sends Y/N an icy look before giggling sweetly. “Coming right up.”

Y/N sends a worried glance towards Sirius, but he just responds by squeezing her thigh and kissing her temple.

“So, do you have any tattoos? Since you’re so good at your job, I would assume you do, yes?” Vanessa asks, pouring Sirius’s drink and sliding it towards him.

“Quite a few,” He catches the glass before it flies off the bar. “Most of them are covered by my shirt though.”

It was true, Sirius’ torso and shoulders were littered with tattoos: A large lion across his right shoulder onto his bicep, stag antlers across his shoulder blades, a moon on the lower left side of his stomach, rat paw marks under the moon, and constellations riddling his collarbones.

The bartender tilts her head to the side cheekily. “Can I see them?”

Sirius chuckles in a very happy, flattered way. “I don’t think that’s quite necessary here,”

“But I can already see this one…” Vanessa reached her arm across the bar and traced the bottom of the lion’s mane with her long, slender fingers. The tattoo seemed to move with her movements. “Can’t I see the rest?”

Y/N coughs, slapping her hand against the bar. The vibration of Y/N’s sudden movement caused Sirius’ drink to wobble inside the glass. “I think I ordered a tequila not a random chick flirting with my boyfriend.”

“Of course, how foolish of me.” Vanessa sent a scowl Y/N’s way and turned her back to fetch the bottle of alcohol. Sirius matched Vanessa’s expression.

Once the flirt finished making Y/N’s drink, she slid it over to her. Y/N took a sip, only to find it was awfully made and very watered down.

“Sirius, babe, I have a headache, can we go home?”

“You didn’t have a headache a minute ago?” Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“I know, I just feel a migraine coming on. I really need to take my migraine potion before it gets bad. Please?”

Sirius sighs and nods, throwing an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple. “Of course, babygirl.”

The pair stand from their stools but Vanessa stops them. “That’ll be 2 galleons for the tequila.”

“You said you’d give me free drinks?” Sirius placed a comforting hand on Y/N’s lower back, rubbing small circles over her shirt.

“Yeah, for you. The tequila wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out two galleons, slamming them onto the bar.

“Can I bet on seeing you again?” A loud giggle comes from her mouth as the couple exited the building. “Maybe you can show me your tattoos.”

“I don’t know, Lily! She was all over him and he didn’t stop it.” Y/N bit into an apple and traced the Potters’ tablecloth. It was a month after Sirius and Y/N had visited The Silver Sickle, and Y/N couldn’t keep her anxieties to herself.

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Lily responded, kneading a big glob of pie crust at the counter. Potter Cottage was much larger than Sirius and Y/N’s flat above Dream Puffs. Earlier that month, Lily had announced she was pregnant, so James decided it was time to upgrade from their small flat to a house fit to raise a family.

“Yes, but each time I try to bring her up he gets defensive and assures me that it was nothing, that he was trying to get free drinks.”

Lily stared down at her dough intensely before grabbing her rolling pin. “Well, I wouldn’t let him get away with it. Maybe try to ask him again tonight? Just sit down and have a real, hearts on the table conversation about your feelings and whatnot. It’s important to do that.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He’s been staying at work late this entire week. Apparently, one of his clients is getting a full back tattoo and it’s taking multiple sessions to finish. This is his biggest job to date, I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“How late is late?” The mom-to-be laid the pie crust into her pan and began to trim the excess off of the edges.

“Nine, sometimes ten. He comes home exhausted.”

“Hm, okay. I’d still try to speak with him if you can. How’s your work going? St. Mungos treating you well?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My supervisor said that I’m one of the best beginning level healers he’s seen since Pomfrey worked in my ward,” Y/N took another bite of her apple. “I might get transferred to the branch in France for a week coming up, though. There was a big gas explosion and they have over 200 burn victims. My supervisor said it would be a good experience for me.”

“Oh, I read about that in The Prophet! Those poor people,” Lily filled the crust with apple pie filling. “I’m sure they need all the help they can get.”

“Oh, I know. I haven’t learned much about burn solvents yet, so it’ll be interesting to learn on the job.”

“Are you going this week? What a shame, it’s your birthday on Saturday.”

“Oh, no, the earliest I would be leaving is a fortnight from now. I’m kind of a last resort since I don’t have much experience or training yet.” Y/N stood and threw her apple core into the bin. “How’s JP doing at the Academy? He’s in his second year by now, right?”

“Oh, he’s doing lovely. The Order is grateful for his efforts and have been sending him on more missions than before.” Lily sighs. “It’s rather nerve wracking, isn't it? You’re lucky Sirius doesn’t get called on many.”

Y/N laughed a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah, I suppose they prefer actual Aurors to go on the calls. But when he does go, those are the worst nights. I can’t imagine having to go through that on a daily basis.”

“It’s really hard,” Lily’s voice cracks and she begins to cry. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones.”

“Don’t apologize, Lils. I know how scary it can be. At least he's with Wormtail most of the time, yeah? They’re at the academy together and all.”

Lily takes a deep breath to control her crying. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Thank god for Wormy.”

“Hello there, pretty lady. I heard there’s a 21st birthday party to be thrown?” James said happily as Y/N opened the door of the flat. Lily and Remus tailed him ever so slightly, all three wearing large grins and holding brightly wrapped packages.

“Birthday party? You guys don’t-”

James waved his hand dismissively. “We’re already here, so you’re kind of stuck with us. Peter should be here eventually.” The three push their way into the living room.

“The nice elderly woman downstairs asked me to bring you this,” Remus held out a cupcake with bright red frosting. Y/N took it happily and walked to the kitchen to set it on the counter.

“Thank you, Moony. But, really, you guys didn’t have to. Sirius isn’t even here.” Y/N felt self conscious around her friends. She was wearing an old tee shirt from her early teens, a beloved Scooby-Doo tee with a rip in the left armpit, and black yoga pants. It was safe to say Y/N was more than ready to spend her birthday alone.

“What do you mean, not here?” Remus was standing in the corner of the living room, flipping through Sirius and Y/N’s record collection. They had so many at this point that the couple was unsure which record belonged to who.

“I don’t know, he left early this morning saying he got called into work. Something about an angry customer.” Y/N felt small under the group’s gaze. “I wasn’t really paying attention, I was half asleep.”

Y/N watched as Lily and James shared a look. “I didn’t think the shop was open on Saturdays, but I guess they are.” Y/N’s shoulders lowered visibly, making Lily backtrack. “It’s the pregnancy brain, Y/N. I’ve been mixing things up for the past week and a half.”

“Right, right. Of course. Um, how’s that going, by the way?” She crossed her arms across her stomach uncomfortably.

“Oh, it’s going wonderful! We actually have something to give you, if that’s okay.”

“Wait!” James cut in. “We should wait for Wormy to get here!”

Lily hit his chest with the back of her hand. “Oh, come off it. You know how late he is to everything! Let’s do it now.” The couple led Y/N to the couch and sat on either side of her, both wearing matching shit-eating grins. Remus remained leaning against the wall, ready to flip the record when the time came. James placed a medium-sized purple box on her lap.

Y/N carefully undid the wrapping paper, prompting James to let out a loud groan.

“Any day now, woman!”

Y/N giggled. “Hey! It’s my birthday! Be nice to me!”

“I am being nice to you, Y/N! I gave you a present, didn’t I?”

Y/N bumped her shoulder with his and reached into the box. Her fingertips met with the soft fabric of a tee shirt. Upon pulling the garment out completely, she observed that the words World’s Best Godmother was printed across the front. Immediately, Y/N dropped the shirt and covered her mouth with her hand.

“Is that a yes?” Lily asked, her eyes tearing again.

“Yes! Oh my god!” Y/N’s own tears trailed down her cheeks as she hugged both tightly. “Me? Godmother?”

“I can’t think of anyone more worthy,” Remus remarked as he watched the heartwarming scene unfold in front of him. Y/N was so overwhelmed with joy that she had almost forgotten that Sirius was absent. Almost.

The party went along swimmingly from there on out; Peter had arrived shortly after Y/N unboxed Remus’ gift, a new cauldron and potion ingredients, and another gift from the Potters, a pair of gorgeous black combat boots. The mousey-boy shuffled over to Y/N and handed her a small gift bag.

“Oh? Thanks, Pete.” Y/N awkwardly pulled out the contents of the bag. “Oh, good, a gift card to Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery.” She tried to sound thankful towards the man in front of her, but the disdain was still evident in her voice.

“Sirius said it was his favorite bar, so I thought you’d like it. Maybe we can grab some lunch there, obviously my treat,” He lazily gestures to the card in her hand. “We haven’t really hung out for a while. I figured it would be nice. If you don’t like it I can get you something diff-”

Y/N cut him off with a hug, “Thank you, Peter, this was really thoughtful. Would next week work?”

“Wednesday?” He wraps his arms around Y/N’s frame for a moment before letting go.

“Wednesday works perfectly.”

The four continued to hang out well into the night; laughing, chatting, drinking, listening to music, and playing board games. As the party dragged on, Y/N couldn’t help but grow worried about Sirius’ whereabouts. Her worries were harshly pushed aside, though, when Lily suggested they play poker.

“Ugh, I fold.” Peter slams his cards down onto the coffee table and laid back onto the carpet in defeat. Y/N smirked at Remus, her only opponent, and gestured for him to show her his cards.

“Straight, beat that,” Remus says confidently. James and Peter “oooh” childishly and looked towards Y/N. It was very apparent that all of them, besides Lily, were very buzzed.

Y/N smirked and shook her head, “You play a hard bargain, Lupin. So good that I applaud you. But,” Y/N laid her hand on the table: four of a kind. “You’re just not good enough.”

The room laughs as Y/N pulls the large pile of galleons, sickles, knuts and Lily’s wedding ring towards her. Y/N slips it onto her own ring finger and holds her hand as if to admire it.

“Oh, Lily, dear, don’t you just adore my new ring? Look at how it glistens in the light!”

The redhead rolls her eyes and snatches it off of Y/N’s finger. “I’ll just be taking that,” She puts it back on.

“It will forever be known to be my legal property, Evans. Don’t forget it!”

“Does that mean I’m married to both of you now?” James smiles a dopey grin and looks back and forth between the two women. Y/N pretends to gag.

“On second thought, I surrender my rights to your ring.”

The group continued their laughter until the front door of the flat swung open. A very drunk Sirius Black stumbled in the door, dumbfounded as to why all of his friends were in his house.

“Why are you guys here?” Sirius slurred, pulling up the shoulder of his leather jacket. He bumped the record player in the process, making Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac skip.

“It’s Y/N’s birthday, Sirius,” Remus responded, his soft voice contrasting to his previously upbeat tone. Sirius slouched against the wall and slid down it until he hit the floor.

“Y/N’s birthday...Y/N’s birthday...Oh! Y/N’s birthday! Was that today?”

James was quick to jump into action. Propelling himself off of the couch, he took Sirius into his arms and brought him to a standing position. Sirius, of course, whined the entire way up, claiming that the floor wanted him to sit there. James responded with a small hum before peeling Sirius’ jacket off of his body and throwing it onto the kitchen counter. As Y/N watched, she couldn’t help but notice a bright pink smear on Sirius’ neck.

“Yes, it’s today, you big goof. Where have you been?”

Sirius went into a big flurry of words as James brought him towards the bedroom. Y/N thought she heard ‘And you should have seen her!’ amidst all the jumbled words, but she pied that off as her anxious imagination running awry. Lily’s hand found her back and she rubbed soothing circles on Y/N’s shoulder blades.

“He forgot,” Y/N said to no one in particular. “I can’t believe he actually forgot.”

“I’m sure he didn’t forget,” Lily soothed Y/N, rubbing circles into her shoulder blades. “He probably got carried away at happy hour, you know how he gets.”

“Happy hour on Y/N’s birthday though?” Peter shook his head. Something about his tone didn’t sit well with Y/N. Lily shot a glare his way.

The party did not last much longer; Remus said he had an interview with Dumbledore about a TA position at Hogwarts, Lily was tired, and Peter said that he was going on a mission tomorrow and needed rest. Y/N bid her friends farewell with large hugs and thank you’s.

It’s safe to say that Y/N slept on the couch that night.

Y/N awoke to sunlight in her eyes and a crick in her neck. The living room window wasn’t guarded with curtains, so even at the early hour of 4:30 AM, the room was illuminated with soft oranges, reds, and pinks. Y/N sat up and reached her hands above her head to stretch her back. She looks towards the bedroom door, listening for the soft snores of her boyfriend. Her neck screamed in agony, but she still stood and padded over to open the door.

Y/N twisted the doorknob with care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. She needed to see Sirius, not have a conversation with him. Alas, in all his glory, Sirius lied on his stomach with his mouth hung open and drool oozing onto the pillow. The girl admired how he looked as he slept; the sharp jaw, the perfect skin, the messy hair, the peaceful look gracing his features. He still wore his skinny jeans from the day previous, but at some point during the night, he discarded his white dress shirt. Y/N’s gaze darted around the floor until it landed on the crumpled fabric.

Y/N glanced back at Sirius, admiring the artwork that filled his back. She remembered the day he got it; James cried when he first saw the gorgeous antlers. The low light highlighted the dark brown ink and seemed to make his skin appear airbrushed. Y/N smiled in spite of herself.

Closing the door softly, Y/N walks into their small kitchen to prepare some tea in order to calm her nerves. The apartment was rather messy from the ‘party’ and Y/N had to dig through endless dirty dishes to find a mug clean enough to use. Y/N finally found one, a lavender mug that Marlene had given her for her 17th birthday, and set it on the counter while she filled the kettle.

The kitchen wasn’t as dirty as Y/N previously thought. Sure, the sink was overflowing with dishes, but the kitchen itself was rather clean. And besides Sirius’ leather jacket, the counter was clear. The floor, though, was slightly sticky. Y/N sighs and flicks her wand; almost silently, the dishes start cleaning themselves.

Y/N reaches for Sirius’ jacket, only to have a squishy substance fall onto her feet. She jumps back in surprise and disgust of the weird texture. But, the real panic sets in when she notices a big red spot on not only the floor but the leather jacket. Upon further investigation, Y/N realizes it’s the frosting from the cupcake Remus had given her. Sirius was very protective of this jacket and if he saw this, Y/N would be a dead man. So, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of: scrub the material with a wet paper towel.

Thankfully, the frosting came off easily and didn’t stain the material. The only real obstacle was the sweet scent of the frosting lingering on the garment. Sirius had an insane sense of smell, so if he picked up even the slightest trail of sugar, Y/N would be busted. She delicately lifted the material to her nose.

The musky scent of Sirius filled her nose as normal; leather, smoke, cologne, and spearmint. Y/N grinned at the familiar scent until she noticed a strong rose perfume almost ingrained into the leather. Y/N’s perfume smelled of vanilla.

Y/N held her breath as she opened the door of the Silver Sickle, she was in no mood to see Vanessa again. All the same, Y/N put effort into her appearance just in case. She let out her breath when she noticed an old man behind the bar and Peter sitting in the corner.

“Hey,” Y/N said breathlessly as she pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little nervous meeting Peter alone; the two seemed to rekindle their friendship after he and Sirius fought. He promised that he was just drunk and not thinking, and Y/N not wanting to cause childish conflict within their friend group, had accepted his apology.

“Hey!” He squeaked. “I didn’t know if you wanted to day drink or not, so I just ordered you a water to start off with.”

Y/N laughed awkwardly. “Thanks, Wormy.” She took a long sip from her straw, trying to slow her nervous heart. “So, uh, how’s the academy? James said you are taking more and more missions with the order.”

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, it’s great! Being an Auror is really fun, you really get to show people who’s boss, ya know?”

“Um, I guess?”

“I think they’re gonna kick me out, though. I haven’t done the best job at catching who I’m pursuing.” Peter raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side.

“Oh? Why not?” Y/N glanced over the menu, only half listening to what her companion was saying.

“I just like to play with them a ‘lil, like a cat and mouse. Except this time, I’m not the mouse.”

Y/N looks at a delicious looking chicken sandwich on the menu and hums in response.

“So, how are you and Sirius doing? It seemed pretty rough last week.” Peter takes a chunk of ice from his drink and starts chewing it. “If you want to talk about it, I guess.”

This brings Y/N out of her sandwich-filled thoughts. “I don’t know, to be quite honest. We haven’t spoken much and I barely see him. He leaves early in the morning...comes home late at night…” Peter nods as if he was a therapist listening to a client. “I don’t want to assume the worst but he’s making it rather difficult.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, because it isn’t really my business, but…” He comps down on the ice cube. “I was coming home from a mission a few nights ago and I saw him with a girl. I’m not quite sure what they were doing but it sure as hell didn’t look platonic.”

Y/N felt her entire world shatter into her lap. “What?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. She was really short with long black hair and a skimpy cocktail dress. They were walking into that club off of Coventry Street. I almost beat the fuck out of him right then and there, but there were bouncers.”

Y/N bit her trembling lip and folded her hands in her lap. Rifling through her purse, she slammed the gift card down and stood.

“Thanks for the lunch date, Peter, but I don’t feel well. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Was it something I said?!” Peter yelled at Y/N’s retreating back as she left the bar.

“Are you going somewhere?” Sirius asked, gesturing to Y/N’s packed suitcases by the door.

“Yup, I’m going to France for a week to aid burn victims,” Y/N finished brushing her teeth before packing her toothbrush. “Didn’t think you’d care.”

“Well, I do. You could have told me.” He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms.

“I would have if I actually saw you.” Y/N wasn’t in the mood to argue; she had about an hour before she had to leave, and she planned on using that time to relax with a cup of herbal tea.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You see me plenty.”

“Yeah, when you’re sleeping or showering. There’s not exactly time to chat when you leave early in the morning and come home well past midnight.” Y/N walked into the kitchen and cut a slice of bread. “Oh, by the way, Caspar brought up some sourdough, if you actually want any.”

“Don’t change the subject like you always do, Y/N. I work hard to support us, you know that.”

“I work hard too. And I get home before 11 every night. I’m not exactly sure how being a healer gets you home earlier than a tattoo artist, but whatever.” Y/N buttered her now toasted sourdough.

“Sometimes a piece takes a long time, that’s not my fault! I’ve been getting big jobs recently! You should be happy for me!”

Y/N let out a harsh laugh as she poured water into the kettle. “Do you really think I’m that fucking stupid, Sirius? Really?”

“What do you mean? I think you’re rather smart.” Sirius followed Y/N into the kitchen and was leaning against the counter.

“Yeah? Then why have you been lying to me for the past, I don’t know, two months?”

“You can’t keep accusing me of things, Y/N. It’s not fucking fair!” Sirius stared holes into Y/N’s back. “For fucks sake! Look at me when I talk to you!”

Y/N whipped around, her hair fanning around her face as she spun. “You know what’s not fucking fair? Letting a girl feel you upright in front of me. Lying about going into work. Forgetting my birthday and coming home from who knows where drunk as fuck with lipstick smeared all over your neck. Coming home drenched in another girl’s perfume. Taking your fucking side chick to a strip bar while I’m sat at home wondering if you’re fucking dead because we’re in the middle of a fucking war! You don’t know the first thing about fucking unfair!”

“You’re not going to France, Y/N.” His jaw was clenched and his eyes held nothing but fire. The tone of his voice was like nothing she had ever heard before, at least not directed at her. He usually reserved it for people who yelled nasty things at her from the street, or when someone bad mouthed James. It felt foreign to hear him use it with her. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. “You’re not fucking going, and that’s final.”

“What are you? My fucking mother? I’m going because I’m actually doing something good for the world, unlike your cheating ass.” Y/N pushed her way past her boyfriend and towards her luggage.

“Don’t walk away from me!” Sirius followed her strides. He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “Y/N, darling, we need to talk about this-” His tone was notably softer than before as if he was trying to glue together shards of glass.

“Talk about what, Sirius?! How you cheated on me and won’t even deny it? How you betrayed me in the worst way fucking possible? I’m not going to let you manipulate me into putting my career on the line to work out some issue you caused.”

“What, so now I’m not important? You’re a fucking hypocrite!”

“And how exactly am I a hypocrite, Sirius? You treat me like shit and whine that I’m done putting up with it? Gonna go cry to James about how you are so upset I wouldn’t hear you out after you cheat on me? Well, go the fuck ahead because James actually has a healthy relationship with a baby on the way. He won’t sympathize with you.” Y/N grabbed the handle of her suitcase and lifted her wand. “I’ll be back in a week and once we’ve had some time to cool off, we’ll talk about this like adults. I’ll see you soon.”

Just as Y/N apperated out of the room, the kettle whistled and Sirius noticed Y/N left her half-eaten toast on the counter.

It was near two in the morning when Y/N returned home from France the following week. The home was cold, dark, and vacant, and the entire appearance of the small flat had changed. In a week, Sirius had managed to completely trash the house. Even the smell of freshly baked goods was replaced with the sour smell of firewhisky and sex.

Y/N ventured into the kitchen first, where she observed the large stack of dishes in the sink. Everything from to-go packages to their fine china (normal glass plates from the thrift) were stacked as high as the eye can see. Some were starting to mold and produce the most horrid smell. The stove housed the kettle where Y/N had left it, but this time it was cold and empty. Another pot that contained crusty spaghetti sat next to the kettle, and Y/N cringed at the thought of scrapping it out. She moved to the counter where her toast, now stale, sat. Y/N picked it up between two fingers and threw it into the bin.

She carried on into the living room next. The couch cushions were tossed about the room and the small fur throw was draped across the back of the couch. The record player in the corner still held the Fleetwood Mac record Moony had chosen on her birthday as if it were a time capsule; Y/N couldn't help but reminisce about how happy she was with her friends that evening. Maybe that proved that she could be happy without Sirius in her life, or maybe it served as a constant reminder that he was woven into every aspect of it.

Again, the room was covered with food wrappers and alcohol bottles. Y/N feared the liquid that remained in the bottles would leak and stain the carpet, so before moving on to the bedroom, she set each one upright.

The bedroom was what Y/N feared the most; without her presence in the home, Sirius could have been intimate with an infinite amount of girls in her own bed. She shivered at the thought but pushed on and reached towards the icy doorknob.

The room was the cleanest out of the entire flat, just various clothes scattered around the floor and a messy bed. Y/N wanted nothing more but to curl up under her warm covers and press her face into the chest of the man she loved most, but that was an impossible task. He didn’t love her anymore and that was something she had to deal with, she just wished she had savored the last time he held her.

As Y/N explored further into the room, her feet found an article of clothing that neither Sirius nor Y/N owned. Bending at the hips to pick it up, Y/N held a red, lacy v neck bra in between her fingertips. Y/N fingered the material with teary eyes. Another step forward and her feet came into contact with the matching bottoms. Y/N laid the set out neatly on the bed and wallowed; it must have looked stunning on her.

Y/N walked to the desk, where an ink well was left open and a half-written letter laid face up on the surface. She capped the ink with a wet chuckle.

“You need to cap your ink, Sirius. If you don’t it’ll dry out. I won’t be there forever to do it for you.” Y/N said aloud, wiping her running nose. She picked up the letter against her better judgment and began to read.

Prongs,

I know you’re mad at me, but please just hear me out. Vanessa is gorgeous, mate. She’s sweet and nice, but at the same time she's so witty and smart-mouthed. She even listens to Queen and the Weird Sisters!

She made me believe in love at first sight, JP.

I’m going to marry her one day, mark my words!

The ink began to run as Y/N read and cried, making small blotches of black contrast against the stark white paper. Y/N placed it onto the table and gripped the edge to steady herself. Never in her 21 years on earth had she ever felt such pain, such sorrow. Her pains were usually cushioned by Sirius’ arms and sweet slurred language in the middle of the night, or by her friends’ loud cackles. But this time, this time was different; she was alone, completely and utterly alone.

Y/N looked to the wall in order to ground herself; a small sliver of silver moonlight slashed against the wall, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Y/N traced the line with her eyes until she landed on the wooden coo-coo clock.

The clock was one of Sirius’ most prized possessions; it was a gift from his Uncle Alphard that he received when he ran away from the Black family. Alphard was one of the few Sirius still kept in contact with, and he was a big role model to Sirius when he grew up. Debatably, Alphard was the one who taught Sirius how to be a man.

The present seemed lame on the surface, but that clock was one of Sirius’ favorite things when he was a child. Sirius had told stories of the long afternoons he would spend in front of the clock, waiting for the small, yellow bird to pop out of the top while Walburga and Orion fought in the background. Y/N respected Alphard with all of her being, but she wanted nothing more than to smash that godforsaken clock. She wanted to destroy everything that made Sirius happy, she wanted him to be under the same pain he was putting her through.

Y/N knew what she had to do at that very moment: she had to get out of London and move far, far away. So far away that no one would ever find her. So, she grabbed the extra suitcases in the flat and began to pack her things.

Starting at the record corner, she picked every single one of her belongings and shoved them into her suitcase. Y/N had to shrink a few of her belongings, such as the couch, in order to fit, but in a little less than an hour, every hint of Y/N was packed away in three large suitcases.

Y/N gave one last look at the apartment before apparating to Paris, where she knew she could start a better, more meaningful life. Maybe, she could even find a fresh bakery to supply her with warm loaves of sourdough bread.

When Sirius returned to the flat the following morning, the only remaining aspects of Y/N were a striped scarf and two galleons folded neatly on the bed next to Vanessa’s lingerie.

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

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Reunions

Request: Hi! Can i request an imagine where reader is Sirius daughter, and older than Harry and she’s like an older sister to him, She promides Sirius that she’d always protect him, as he couldn’t when he was away. Probably she gets hurt all the time by doing this, but she doesn’t care. If you want, can you make her date Fred or something, and you can add some angst, or whatever. Develop as u wish, hope u like it! Sorry if it’s not very clear! xx

A/N: Here it is @play-morezeppelin ! Thank you for your request, I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing, I’ll admit I struggled to start it but once I got into, I couldn't really stop. I hope I’ve done your request justice - I had to have a reunion between Sirius and the reader!

Pairings: Fred Weasley x Reader (romantic), Harry Potter x Reader (platonic), Sirius Black x Reader (familial).

Warnings: swearing, angst, some violence

Word count: 3.3k

A letter from your father, that was all you had left of him. A letter asking you, begging you, to watch out for baby Harry.

For the first fourteen years of your life, you are unable to due to Harry being raised by his muggle aunt and uncle, but also being far too young. You needed to be raised yourself.

Your arrival at Hogwarts introduced you to the Weasley twins. Fred and George quickly became your best friends from the moment you were sorted into Gryffindor. You also had to be honest with yourself, this last year you had been catching yourself looking at Fred in a different light; looking at him as more than a friend. It felt natural with Fred – to go from a friendship to a relationship, as if it was always meant to be. You only hope that he felt the same way.

The arrival of Harry Potter at Hogwarts and his sorting into Gryffindor had made you miss your father more than usual. Your memories of Harry were few and far between, visiting him often as a baby but never seeing him again after the unfortunate deaths of his parents – of your godparents.

A friendship is quickly formed between you and the boy you once thought of as family. Helped along by your friendship with the Weasley twins. Your friendship group starts to blend across year groups and there isn’t a thing you would do to change it, cherishing every single friendship between the trio: Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Through his first year at Hogwarts, you had become somewhat of a rock for Harry. Someone he could come to if he wanted to speak freely about his worries or his parents. You wished you could help him; through every new bit of information he found about his parents, he ended up grieving them all over again. He would come to you when that happened; Harry felt an almost kinship with you – he couldn’t explain it, he just knew that you would understand.

If you had one complaint about Harry and his friends though, it was that they could not, for one second, keep themselves out of trouble. By the end of their first year, you had lost count on your hands of how many injuries you had gotten trying to protect them. Their second year was no different; you had no choice to forgive Harry after had apologised over and over for getting you hurt in the process.

You could only hope and pray that their third year would be different.

“Harry?” You call out over breakfast.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“Can you promise me one thing for this year?”

“What’s that?”

“Stay out of trouble for me and my health?”

Harry laughs, “I’m afraid I can’t make that promise. Haven’t you heard? There’s a serial killer after me now.”

You sigh at his answer; you realise that their third year was to be the same. You had heard about the escaped convict from Azkaban; your heart had dropped the minute you saw your father’s face plastered over every single wizarding publication. It was an outer body experience, to see your father again after so long.

You’re snapped out of your reveries by the Daily Prophet being slammed down in front of you.

“It’s like a family reunion for you, isn’t it (Y/N)?” A Slytherin says, snickering lightly.

You freeze; any chance of a reply lost in the tears that start to well in your eyes. An arm wraps around your shoulders, you don’t need to look to know it’s Fred.

“Bugger off, will you? You’re wasting your breath.” He says towards the student; they quickly turn and walk away.

Fred leans into you, whispers into your ear. “Don’t worry, love. There’s an extra-large Dung-bomb with their name on it.”

He frowns when you simply nod; normally, the idea of a prank or revenge gets you smiling and planning along with him.

He grabs your hand, and pulls you up to stand with him, “Come on, we’re gonna talk.”

You let Fred pull you from the Great Hall; he doesn’t let go of your hand until you’re in an empty classroom where he sits you down at a desk. He leans against the desk opposites and looks at you.

You start to rant, wiping at your eyes, feeling slightly foolish, “I just didn’t expect to see him. It sounds silly because of course – of course his face is going to be plastered on every news outlet in the wizarding world. Even the muggle Prime Minister was informed for Christ’s sake, but I didn’t actually think I would see him, or a picture of him.”

“It’s understandable that you didn’t. You haven’t seen your father in twelve years.”

You snort, “I know. He looks so different, Fred. It scared me.”

Fred takes a seat on top of your desk, wrapping an around your shoulder. He rubs his hand up and down your arm in a comforting motion. You can’t help but lean into his side. No words need to be said between the two of you; Fred doesn’t need to offer you words of comfort, simply being there for you through this is enough for you.

“Thank you for the Hall.”

“I’ll always defend you; you know that.”

You sniffle, “I do. You’re too good for me, Fred.”

“I doubt that. I’d like to think I’m perfect for you actually.”

You look at him, an eyebrow raised.

Fred swallows, “This wasn’t the time or place that I wanted to do this, but I’ve had a crush on your for about a year now and I would really like it if you would go out with me?”

A smile breaks out across your face, leaning up, you press a kiss to his cheek, “Yes, I’ll go out with you. I’ve had a crush on you for so long.”

Fred smiles at you, he also starts to blush.

-----------------------------------

Things start to deteriorate in school; Sirius Black enters the school multiple times. You almost vomited when you hear what happened to Ron – he doesn’t seem to be too shaken up by the event, but your stomach turns with guilt regardless. You start to panic over what could happen next; what will he do next? Has he been driven to insanity in Azkaban?

The comments made by fellow students get worse too. It has never been a secret who your father was, and you were never ashamed to be his daughter. You believed in his innocence and that was all you needed; you didn’t need the approval or belief of other students. It was becoming routine for you to receive two or three comments on your way to any class; it was becoming draining, but every single time after every single comment, you thought back to the aged letter from your father that is hidden away in your trunk. Fred stands by you through it all; defending you constantly. George has had to stock up on his Zonko product’s more times than he would like to admit to you.

Through all of this, your weekends have become your favourite times of the week. They are the days where you can spend the whole day with Fred and not have to worry about anything. Comments are still made, but you pay less attention to them on the weekend. Instead, focusing all of your energy into your relationship with Fred, your homework, your friends and Hogsmeade.

Your first date with Fred is at Hogsmeade; the day is spent together, dawdling from shop to shop. Grabbing some new quills at Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop and updating your Honeyduke’s sweets stash. It’s a perfect day, and only made better by the kiss Fred places on your lips before entering the school grounds. Your smile and blush last for days after that.

Time spent with Fred helps to ease the burden and the guilt you feel about what is happening. Fred reassures you multiple times and when that doesn’t work, he kisses you quiet. That works pretty well.

---------------------------------------------

You had known perfectly well that Harry, Hermione and Ron would visit Hagrid with the execution of Buckbeak, the Hippogriff. From the very minute they had shown you the letter from Hagrid telling them of Buckbeak’s fate, you know that they would not let it be. It was sweet, that they wanted to be there for Hagrid, but it was not worth the trouble they would be in if they were caught.

Rushing out of the common room, you could only hope that you could catch them in time.

You don’t. Instead, you see all three running towards the Whomping Willow.

You start running towards the trio the moment you see the great, black dog that you know is your father.

From there, you start to curse whatever luck you have. It is just your luck and your choice of friends that get you into messes such as these. You make a mental note to expand your friendship group after everything passes.

Entering the passage below the Whomping Willow, your breath comes in short pants. Nerves and adrenaline are taking over your system; you know exactly who is at the end of the tunnel. You never thought a reunion would be possible, and all you wanted was for it to be in better circumstances.

You stop short of the entrance. Nerves have overtaken your adrenaline, your stomach turning at the thought of seeing your father again after twelve years of separation. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes; the newspaper clipping flashes before your eyes. Would he even recognise you after so long?

You take a deep breath to steel yourself. Then you enter the room.

Ron lies on a bed; his face crumpled in pain, Scabbers the rat flailing about in his hand.

Harry and Hermione stand together in the corner of the room; Harry’s body partly shielding Hermione. His wand is raised, he looks shocked at your entrance.

“(Y/N)!? What are you doing here?” He shouts.

“Harry, I need you to listen to me. I need you to put the wand down.”

“No! Why should I? He killed my parents, (Y/N). He is the reason I don’t have my mum and dad.”

“Harry, please. Put your wand down. I need to tell you something.”

Harry looks at you; sadness, grief and anger run rampant in his eyes. You frown at him, how many times must this boy relive the death of his parents?

“Okay. Harry, here. Have my wand.” You throw your wand at him; he catches it.

“I’m defenceless now. Will you put your wand down and let me explain to you why I’m here?”

He continues to watch you, but slowly, Harry lowers his wand. You sigh quietly in relief.

“Thank you, Harry.” You whisper. “What I’m about to say, I need you to give me the benefit of the doubt. I need you all to remember that I am only two years older than you all.”

“Why does that matter?” Hermione asks.

“Because Hermione, the man standing behind me is my father.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Ron shouts.

You close your eyes at the shouts coming from all three. You want to look at him, your father, but you aren’t ready just yet. You can feel his eyes on you though; taking in every detail from the twelve years he has been missing from your life.

“Sirius Black is my father.” You start, when their voices have quietened down. “Truthfully, I’m the product of a one-night stand. Sirius got full custody of me when he was told I existed; my mother agreed. I got two years with him, that’s all. Two years with my father before he was taken away to Azkaban.”

“He killed my parents, (Y/N)! Of course he got sent to Azkaban, he should still be there.” Harry shouts, his eyes glistening.

“Harry, no. I’m not trying to erase your pain, Harry. I’m truly not. But it wasn’t just you who lost people that night. I lost my father and my godparents. Lily and James were my godparents, just like Sirius is your godfather.

“He left me a letter, that was all he could leave me. A letter. In which he begged me to watch out for you Harry, and I am so sorry that I couldn’t for the first eleven years of your life, but I am only two years older than you. My befriending of you when you arrived at Hogwarts was genuine, but my father’s words always stayed in the back of my head. I made sure to look out for you, but you have an incredible talent for getting yourself into trouble.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I trusted you with so much.” Harry asks, the slight break in his voice the only evidence of his emotions.

“You never asked. From the minute of his escape, I was petrified of you finding out. It isn’t a secret who my father is, and I am not ashamed of him, so it was never hidden.” The panic within you is starting to rise; the very last outcome of this was losing Harry’s trust – you absolutely did not want that to happen.

Ron grimaces, “Does Fred know?”

You blush, “Yes. Your entire family knows Ron. I was raised with Bill and Charlie through the first wizarding war.”

Ron nods, seeming happy at your answer. His protectiveness of his older brother coming out; he did not want you lie to Fred – he wouldn’t stand for it.

Throwing a small smile in Ron’s direction, you prepare yourself for turning around.

For the first time since you arrived in the shack, you look at your father. His clothes are ruined, his hair reaches his elbows, and he’s far too thin. A sob breaks free of your lips, and he’s at your side in an instant. His hands on either side of your face, getting a good look at you. He hasn’t seen so much as a picture of you in twelve years; he cannot believe that you even recognise him.

“(Y/N)?” Sirius whispers.

You nod, tears falling freely now. “Hi Dad.”

He wraps you in his arms. He hasn’t held you in his arms since you were two years old and you were a delightfully chubby toddler. When he was taken away to Azkaban, you were barely taking your first steps, still needing to be held by your father. Now, you reach his shoulders easily where you wrap your arms, wanting to sob again from the feeling of his bones clearly poking through the skin. Sirius clings to you; savouring the fact that he’s holding his daughter after so long.

“You know,” Sirius starts, “You used to be smaller.”

You nod, “I know. We’ve missed a lot.”

“(Y/N)! Get away from him. He’s still a murderer.” Harry shouts.

“He isn’t. He never was.”

“He isn’t innocent; he sold out my parents to Lord Voldemort.” Both Hermione and Ron wince at the use of the Dark Lord’s name.

“No, he didn’t.” You state, gritting your teeth.

“Then who did?” Harry demands; all he wants are answers, and he is more than entitled to them.

“Peter Pettigrew.” A voice says; one that neither yours nor Sirius’.

Remus Lupin enters the room. After that, even more explanations are given, and secrets revealed. You knew that in the morning, you would have one hell of a headache from all the information you had to process. Your heart went out to Harry, who in the span of a few weeks has had his entire family history almost rewritten. The trust between you had been damaged, and it would take a lot of time to fix.

If possible, the night gets worse. As the group lead Pettigrew and unconscious Snape (who dramatically interrupted) back to the castle, the full moon rises. Taking one single look at Lupin, you know that he hasn’t taken his Wolfsbane Potion and he’s about to transform. All hell breaks loose from that very moment – Sirius transforms, Snape resurrects, and Harry has to follow. He has to follow. You barely get close to him before Snape pulls you back, berating you for being so stupid. You have to repress the urge to scream at him; you fight each step of the way back to castle, only calming when you realise that Ron is seriously hurt and for Fred’s sanity, you help him to the hospital wing.

Once he’s settled and getting treatment, you take a seat on one of the spare beds. The thing you want to do most is go and find your father, but you can’t move. Instead, you start to cry silently. Letting the tears you’ve hidden for twelve years finally start to flow. After what seems likes hours, from sheer exhaustion, you pass out on the bed.

-------------------------------------------

You awake in the hospital wing with Fred comes bursting in, disturbing the peace.

“Thank God, you’re okay.” He breathes. His arms wrap around you tightly, pressing you to him.

“I am.” You say, rubbing a hand up and down his back, “I’m okay.”

Fred pulls away, he looks as if he wants to run his hands all over you, to check for himself that you are truly okay with no major injuries. Fred had never known panic like it, when Professor McGonagall pulled him to one side in the common room to tell him that you were currently lying in the hospital wing. Everything was white noise after that, leaving as fast as he could so he could get to you.

You grab his hands, hold them in both of yours, rubbing calming circles into them. “I’ve got nothing other than a few scratches; go check on your brother, Fred.”

Fred frowns, he doesn’t want to leave you – not for one second. Instead, he shouts to other bed, “Ron! Are you okay?”

Ron replies, “I’ll be fine, mum and dad are already on their way.”

Fred grins at you, “I’ve checked on him. Can I stay with you now?”

You nod, opening your arms for him. The only thing you wanted at this moment in time was Fred’s arms around you. He obliges happily; his arms are wrapped around you and you feel as if you can finally breathe, as if you are finally back on earth after the most dramatic evening on your entire life. His hands rub up and down your back and you hum happily.

“(Y/N)?”

“Fred?”

“Will you tell me what happened tonight?”

“I’m sure the whole school knows by now.”

“I just want to hear it from you; to know that you weren’t in real danger.”

You sigh, “I will. Just not tonight, I need tonight to process please.”

He nods, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Take all the time you need.”

Looking at other beds, you can see Harry and Hermione laid out in separate beds. Fear starts to flow through your body.

“Fred, what happened to Sirius?”

“He’s been caught. The teachers are keeping him hidden in one of their rooms.”

Tears start to form in your eyes; you don’t even know; you were certain that you had cried yourself out last night. “Oh god, no. I just got him back. I just got my father back and they’re going to take him away again.”

Fred shushes you, not to stop you talking but because Harry and Hermione have awoken, and Dumbledore has entered the hospital wing. They shout for a few minutes before Dumbledore talks to them quietly. Hermione pulls a long necklace out of her shirt and you swiftly realise that she is in possession of a Time Turner; and all at once, it hits you what they’re going to do.

Harry catches your eyes for a second, nods, and then he’s gone. And all you can do is wait.

They’re going to rescue an innocent man. They’re going to rescue your father.

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fluff #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #sirius black fanfiction #Sirius Black #My writing #fluff #angst #fred weasley one shot #the lightning era

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thathawaiianchick · 4 years

Text

my wolfstar fic recc

29 of my favs, plus 2 comics :)

sorted from shortest to longest, series at the bottom

i like long fics, i like raising Harry AUs, i like Lay Low at Lupin’s fics, i like marauder era “we’re 70′s trash fics”, i like angst, but i also love “everybody lives”, kind of a mix of everything but seriously a lot of raising Harry AUs because it fills a need i guess

some super popular, some relative unknowns i think

all fics that characterize wolfstar for me :)

JKR has disappointed me supremely, but fan works will hold my love forever

part 2 because i forgot some

STANDALONES

1. A Day Like Any Other by dustmouth

(a comic, not really a fic, just hosted on AO3)

The one where Sirius keeps receiving unwanted mail, Remus drinks a lot of tea, Peter's out on a hot date, and James is offering unwanted make overs.

(Or the answer to the question of exactly how many cursed letters can you flush down the loo).

2. To Keep a Star by dustmouth

(a comic, not really a fic, just hosted on AO3)

Daily life in the Intergalactic Postal Service. Or the one where Sirius is a postal star and Remus lives on a spaceship.

3. in your bedroom, during the war by lupinely

There’s the bed, there’s the room, and there’s Remus. This, at least, Sirius knows for sure. (4Kish)

4. Home We’ll Go by appalachian_fireflies

"I can't, I don't know how," Remus stuttered as Molly dropped the infant into his arms, who immediately ceased crying and stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Nonsense," Molly said. "Be a dear and keep him from falling while I feed Ginny."

"Ba!" Ron giggled, and slapped Remus in the face.

Molly is the emergency contact for the Order when those listed can no longer be reached. Remus' life finds a different path. (10K)

5. A Store of Happiness by coyotesuspect

Harry spends the summer after his third year living with Sirius and Professor Lupin. (10K)

6. In The Bed by bigblackdog

Left to his own devices the summer after the prank, Sirius crafts an unusual gift to mend his relationship with Remus. (11K)

7. Vigil Strange I Kept by whitmans_kiss

Remus' lycanthropy has caused his body to seriously deteriorate over the years due to the constant stress of the transformations, and by his fifty-sixth birthday, it's certain that he won't live to finish out the year. However, a cure has recently been discovered - but what if the cure is just as bad as the disease? (11K)

8. Elucidation Practice by montparnasse

Christmas, 1978. Remus, wrestling with the mighty problems of gift-giving on a budget, contemplates life, love, London in winter, and falling off the edge of the world with Sirius Black. (21K)

9. On a Windswept Cliff by starfishstar

On the cliff top where the fearsome Lord Black once stalked, an outcast man meets a big black dog, and things are not as they seem.

Or: The Remus/Sirius gothic romance AU. (21K)

10. Lethe and Mnemosyne by montparnasse

Winter '79. Looking to get out from under the black-hole overhang of wartime, Sirius and Remus take off to play house on the Cornish moors. It goes downhill from there. (26K)

11. Purity by FelisA

Sirius resurrection fic. (27K) 12. Common Woodbrown by imochan

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there. In 1985, Remus Lupin realizes that Sirius Black is innocent. Now, he just has to prove it. (36K)

13. Wilde and Whimsy by chasing bluefish, obsob

In a world where Dumbledore defeated Voldemort during the first war, the wizarding community is picking up the pieces and getting back to their lives. Remus Lupin becomes a person of interest in a murder at the bookshop where he works and Sirius Black and James Potter, aurors, are sent to investigate. As they navigate the crime itself, Remus and Sirius realize that there is something to their instant chemistry. But they need to keep their newfound attraction under wraps while trying to find the killer and stop them from claiming more victims. (36K)

14. Paper Wings by Krislaughs

(not hosted on ao3)

What if Sirius Black sent a final message from Azkaban? Enter the home of the last Marauder in the days following Voldemort’s downfall. Lost and alone, Remus asks a question of the void, a question whose answer will send him around the world. Meeting puppies, Kneazles, dementors, and nomads, Remus learns more about himself and his friends than he ever thought possible. Learn the secrets of the Marauder’s map and the world’s best chocolate, how various Death Eaters occupied themselves after the fall of their lord, and why you should never leave Remembralls lying around.

15. Uncreated Night by earlybloomingparentheses

Remus can drift through whole worlds in his own mind. Sirius lives in his body, electric, ablaze. In 1979 and 1996 and 1978 and 1981 and in many other years and many different places, they search for the bridges between them and the spaces they can share. Time after time, they fight their way back together, head and heart, mind and body.

And in 1998, Remus stands before the veil, wondering if he should finally stop thinking, and just act. (41.5K)

16. Lemon Chiffon Yellow by Spklvr

An unplanned night between Remus and Tonks ends up changing their lives forever. (42K)

17. The Weather Inside by earlybloomingparentheses

Sirius rides a flying motorbike, and snogs strangers in pubs, and strikes moody poses Remus finds irritatingly attractive. But for Remus, who drinks milky tea and wears flannel pyjamas, there's a chasm cracked right down the fault line between wanting and doing.

How he wants, though. How he wants. (43K)

18. the dogfather by hollimichele

“I’m not a reverse werewolf either,” says the man. “I’m your godfather.” (47K)

19. Domestic Creatures by veeagainst

Growing up is hard to do -- but the journey is better if you take someone with you. (53K)

20. Leave the Children Behind by montparnasse

Bravery, sometimes, is the ending just as much as the beginning. Remus, Sirius, and a series of choices.

Or, a love story—backwards and forwards. (54K)

21. A Series of Sketches Done in Black Ink by mustntgetmy

Non-magic AU. Sirius had always imagined the aftermath of falling in love would mean lightness, and an escape from all the horrors of his childhood. But the past never leaves, and even love can't stop bad memories from resurfacing.

An almost year in the life of Sirius and Remus's first year as a couple replete with art and tangled sheets, and containing the following: filled sketchbook pages from people lost and people found, terrible biscuits from an excellent therapist, mismatched music records, expensive hot chocolate, a lost brother, photographs (some invasive and some invoking terrible memories), a reckoning with the past, a promise of the future, and yet another ridiculously over the top Halloween party. (57K)

22. Alt Ed by NachoDiablo

“Remus? Who the bloody hell is Remus?” James is scrambling to straighten his chair as McGonagall glares at him from the head table.

Mary smiles innocently. “Oh, just a new friend that Lily met over the holidays. He’s homeschooled, just moved into her neighborhood it seems. She says he’s very clever. And I hear he’s quite fit, as well.”

AU where Remus and Lily become friends outside of Hogwarts, setting James and Sirius on a quest to learn more about this mysterious newcomer. (61K)

23. Indiana Lupin and the Search for the Conqueror by nekarose

Remus Lupin is an undercover archaeologist for the British Museum and is sent to Greenland to investigate a Roman shipwreck. In Greenland he meets Sirius Black, makes a real discovery and soon enough the two of them are racing through the world in search of the remains of the Library of Alexandria with Remus’ arch-enemy right at their heels. (66K)

24. Le Mot Vagabond by ironicallyinternational

(It all starts with Peter Pettigrew dying twice.

First, Peter kills Wormtail (discreetly), and then Sirius kills him (less discreetly).

Losing a friend is never easy, even amidst the ravages of war, but losing the last of your childhood alongside him is far worse.)

War is a complicated, messy thing. The Marauders have their fucked up shit to deal with, but they also have each other, and that counts for a lot. (151K)

SERIES:

25. The Hole in the Ground by sostrata

(5 works) A series of fics about Sirius and Remus raising Harry in their home, The Hole in the Ground. (18k)

26. Holding Out by bigblackbog

(works 2)

On Halloween, 1981 Sirius and Remus abscond with Harry despite their recently rocky relationship. (36K)

27. Maddest House by busaikko

(6 works)

old as hell. Another wolfstar raising Harry fic (55K)

28. Lycanthropic Studies by Eiiri

(3 works)

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus recognizes something familiar in Draco Malfoy and offers him sanctuary. With nowhere else to turn--his parents in prison, his home a crime scene--Draco reluctantly accepts and becomes a tolerated, if not welcome, member of his schoolyard rivals' and wartime adversaries' family of choice. As pages of the lunar calendar turn and the summer wears on,Draco and the others begin to see each other in a different light. (139K)

29. Stealing Harryverse by copperbadge

(works 12)

On a dark night long ago, Sirius Black took a wrong turn and never found Peter Pettigrew. Instead of Azkaban, Sirius settled down in Little Whinging to keep an eye on his godson, and hired Remus Lupin to run his bookshop for him. Then one day when Harry was eight, Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, and stole him away.

Stealing Harry is an alternate universe version of Harry Potter's life before his time at Hogwarts. It is the story of Harry's family: Sirius and Remus, Ted and Andromeda, Nymphadora, Neville Longbottom, and even Severus Snape, all banded together against a newly powerful Peter Pettigrew who is still searching for a way to resurrect Voldemort.

Laocoon's Children follows Harry through his time at Hogwarts as he develops a very different group of friends: Hufflepuff Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw Padma Patil, and Gryffindor Neville Longbottom, strange companions for a Harry who was sorted into Slytherin -- the house of his beloved Professor Snape.

This universe ends in Harry's third year, and is partially incomplete. As it is not likely to be finished, the last story in the series is a group of notes I made on where the story would have gone and how it would have ended. (443.3K)

30. All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89

(4 works)

LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant. 1971 - 1995 (557K)

31. Crow Rides A Pale Horse by tb_ll57

(4 works)

The note pinned to his collar read 'Harry J Potter - please accept'. The Dursleys had left him with nothing else but a pillow sack with half a sleeve of McVities biscuits, a mealy apple, and ten pounds. (618K)

#hp #harry potter #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #killing sirius was not punk rock jk rowling #nor was killing off remus #this is the barest reason to want to kick jkr #reference for myself #i dont have all of these bookmarked on ao3 even if they're some of my favs #raising harry #fic rec #this only took me an hour to make i can't believe i've been procrastinating this #lolol yes i can #i can believe

357 notes · View notes

fanficflaneuse · 4 years

Text

To Love Again

A/N: Dearest magical tumblr friends, it’s me again, bringing you yet again another little piece of writing nobody asked for. Here I was, thinking I’d only write Draco x reader inserts (exhibits A and B). But I got this idea a couple of days ago and I couldn’t stop until I wrote it. I haven’t read a lot of Wolfstar (anyone care to explain why this ship is called like this?) fanfics, but I hope I have done a decent job here and you can enjoy it. Also, I don’t really know how the mechanics of it all work just yet, but if you have any suggestions for me to write (like a ship, a reader insert, or just any advice to make my writing less sucky), just send me a message and I’ll try to give it a go <3

Details:

Sirius x Remus (Wolfstar?)

Word count: 2215 (oops!)

Summary: Remus and Sirius survived the war and now, scarred and scared, are trying to figure out how to deal with their feelings for each other.

Disclaimers: A bit of internalized homophobia. One cuss word. Also, the portrayal of Remus’ internal conflict might be laughable. Oh well, hopefully I’ll learn.

For a few months now, Remus found himself waiting eagerly for Friday nights. He’d cradle his little boy in his arms, telling him stories until his hair turned blue and his breathing slowed down. He’d tuck him in bed, close the door, careful to leave it ajar, and wait by the fire until Sirius knocked on his door.

Things had been a little (read very) awkward between them before and during the war. It had taken them a while to even carry a normal conversation that didn’t end up in deafening silence. Remus, who for twelve years had to remind himself every day that his best friend, his love, had betrayed them, was a little apprehensive at first. Even after they proved his innocence, he found himself doubting, longing for what could’ve been instead of allowing himself to live his present. He had grown accustomed to playing the part of the lone wolf. After all, for a long time he had seen himself alone, rejected and betrayed. When he felt ready to let go, he found a very different person than the one he had loved back in his Hogwarts’ days.

Roughened and deteriorated by the dozen years of solitary confinement, Sirius had also changed. He was a fiery, hungry creature. Starved of love, friendship and freedom. Often than not, he lived in his memories. He dreamed about the past and wanted it back, every single bit of it. He wanted Lily’s playful eyerolls and James’ cackling as he played with tiny little Harry. He wanted the laughter when he’d say he’d be the world’s best dogfather. He wanted the get togethers with Andromeda and Ted and their sweet little daughter. He wanted to confide in Peter again, not think of him as the man who had ruined their lives. He wanted Remus – the young Remus – back. The man he had fallen in love with, who wore his ring proudly as they announced they’d get married eventually. Disappointed by reality, Sirius was rough and volatile. Sometimes he wouldn’t know how to act with people around him, not even his beloved Remus, who looked older and more defeated than he ought to be. He no longer wore his ring.

And just when it seemed that they were both healing, that they could start building something again, Nymphadora appeared on the picture. The sweet little girl from the Sunday get togethers with the Tonkses, now a brave Auror, snatched his love away from him. She had brought warmth in Remus’ heart, something Sirius had failed to do. She made him feel loved and wanted. And Remus loved and wanted her in return. As the other members of the Order exclaimed who cute of a couple they were, Sirius said absolutely nothing. He didn’t even dare to mention his ring, much less his feelings again. And he stood on the first row, solemnly, as Remus put a different ring on her finger, imagining it was him in her place. He was also there when she gave birth to a tiny little boy who, much to his father’s relief, wasn’t a werewolf. He was also there when his own not so tiny little Harry had been named godfather to the baby boy, Teddy Remus Lupin, metamorphmagus son of his werewolf.

He had been there as Remus cradled Nymphadora’s limp body in his arms, close to his chest. He was crying and sobbing because his love had been murdered. It was him – Sirius – who had avenged her death. In the most chaotic turn of events, she had been murdered by his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. And as the dark bitch witch died with the flick of his wand, he knew that nothing he could do would ever bring his love’s love back. He felt useless, even as the people around him celebrated Voldemort’s second fall.

They had both survived. Scarred and grieving, but they had both survived.

Three years after the war, Remus had taken yet again the position as DADA teacher in Hogwarts. Sirius himself had taken the Transfiguration department and, much to Headmistress McGonagall’s chagrin, had turned it on its head. Students loved him. It did help that his teaching approach involved turning into a dog half of the times. Thanks to him, students were more motivated than ever to learn how to be animagi. He didn’t think he’d enjoy it as much as he did.

Being so close to Remus and Teddy was also a big plus. The first year after the war was rough and more than just a little awkward. Their relationship had suffered greatly and they didn’t know where they stood. The unsaid agreement was that they wanted each other’s company. As Remus learned how to be a good father to baby Teddy, he had hardly any time left to think about something else. After the second anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts flew by, Remus and Sirius found themselves increasingly acknowledging their feelings for each other. Even if the feelings were not exactly as in their memories, the affection manifested itself in shy compliments and gifts, memories, some hand holding here and there. And, as of lately, cuddling sessions on Friday nights.

They hardly ever spoke directly of the matter. Not for a lack of trying, at least on Sirius’ part. But Nymphadora still loomed over Remus’ heart and whenever they even tried to bring it up, Remus would recoil and they would avoid each other for weeks. Today, though, Sirius was determined to change that. He wanted Remus to be his boyfriend. He wanted the three of them to be a family. And he would never replace his first cousin once removed, but he felt he couldn’t spend the next three years or more waiting without no chance of a change.

As he knocked on Remus’ door, he took a deep breath. He was set on not giving in, no cuddles or kisses until the situation was sorted. Then Remus opened the door and engulfed him in a hug he just couldn’t resist. He hugged back and they moved towards the couch in front of the fire. For a while, they sat there, huddled together, in a silence they both felt a bit uneasy.

“What’s got your wand in a knot, Sirius?” Remus asked, sitting up a little bit straighter to look at him in the eyes.

“You,” he answered a bit more harshly than he would have liked.

Remus shot him a worried glance. “Why?”

“I…what is this?” Sirius asked, motioning with his finger the (very short) space between them.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he answered.

Remus looked away and said nothing. If the silence that engulfed them was deafening.

“You’re allowed to move on, Moony”, Sirius added softly.

Remus furrowed his brow in response. Apart from the love he had for Dora, he felt a sense of duty to her. Old, poor and ugly, she had loved him for who he was. They had gotten married. She had given birth to their son during the war. And she had lost her life for a better world for their son. She was gone for a little over three years and there he was, cuddling and kissing with her cousin, his first love.

“You’re allowed to love again!” Sirius exclaimed, a bit exasperated now.

“Not you!” Remus countered, which left Sirius a bit taken aback.

“Why?” he asked, unable to conceal the resentment in his voice.

“Because you’re…” Remus looked at him from head to toe.

“Is it because I’m a man? Would it be any different if my name was, say, Serena?” he barked.

Remus couldn’t lie to Sirius; he was, indeed, conflicted. What would people think? After marrying a woman much younger than him and having a child together, a relationship with a man? During his schooldays, Sirius had helped him come to terms with his pansexuality, just like his friends had helped him accept his lycanthropy. But still, after so many years, he still shamed himself for both. What would Andromeda say? Him, dating her first cousin. Raising her grandson together. They were much too old for that. Remus couldn’t look at Sirius in the eye.

“You’re Nymphadora’s cousin. You are my son’s cousin!”

“I am Nymphadora’s first cousin once removed. And it doesn’t matter. Moony, what we had was –“

“A phase,” Remus muttered under his breath. It seemed as though he was trying to convince himself as well as Sirius.

“Don’t you dare to say it was a phase, Remus John Lupin. I proposed to you. We…we even talked about adopting. We dreamed about a life together before all of this happened,” Sirius said, his eyes pooling with tears.

“That was a very long time ago, Padfoot,” he said, afflicted by his own words.

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” he countered, taking Remus’ chin in his hand and motioning him to look his way.

“Sirius…”

“What?” Sirius moved closer to Remus, still holding his chin delicately. Sirius was crying now.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me you don’t want me by your side and I’ll leave. I’ll leave immediately. I swear. But don’t make me wait any longer. Don’t made us both suffer anymore under the weight of your prejudices against yourself,” Sirius almost pleaded.

“Please,” Remus said in a very weak voice, “please just let me go”.

Remus was also crying now. The only man he had ever been with was Sirius. He had been his first everything: first kiss, first time, first love. They had discovered each other together. He had dreamed of a life with Sirius. The children, the house, absolutely everything. They complemented each other in ways he had never managed to find in someone else. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t still in love with him. For as much love he held in his heart for Dora, he had never stopped feeling absolutely everything for his best friend.

Sirius stood up to leave. He wiped away the tears and opened the door, not looking back. As he walked down the corridor to his own quarters, he busied his mind with thinking the exact words he’d write in his resignation letter to Headmistress McGonagall. He didn’t want to process what had just happened. He didn’t want to feel the emptiness in his heart, the feeling that his heart was irremediably shattered. Sirius was so distracted he didn’t hear someone calling his name.

Remus had seen Sirius leave the room. It all felt so definitive that it finally dawned on him: he couldn’t let Sirius go. He was his love. Dora would always be in his heart, in his mind, in his memories, in the son they had together. But Sirius was here. They had a second chance to be happy and he couldn’t waste it anymore.

It was now or never. He ran after his love, calling his name. He saw Sirius, standing in the middle of the hallway and practically ignoring him as he called him. Remus felt his heart break a little over the thought that maybe he had already given up, but he had to be determined now, just as Sirius had been a while ago.

Remus reached Sirius, who kept walking at a very slow pace and wiping away his tears. He tried talking to him, to no avail. So, he resorted to more un-Remus like tactics; he yanked Sirius by the arm and made him turn around. Sirius was taken aback; Remus looked like he had run a marathon. He scanned his lover’s expression for a second, trying to find any clue to his uncharacteristic action, when Remus attacked him with his lips. Sirius gladly complied, giving in to a fiery, hungry kiss that tasted of need and want and love. They were both panting as they pulled away.

Sirius was about to say something, but Remus, still out of character, didn’t let him.

“I love you, Sirius Orion Black. I want you. I want to be with you, forever. I want us to be a family. I’m sorry I have hurt you with my doubts. I was afraid. I still am. Oh, Merlin! But I can’t lose you again. I really…I really don’t know what else to say. Give me another chance, please?” he said impetuously, not even bothering in making sense anymore.

Sirius smiled widely and wiped away a treacherous tear. “I love you too, Moony. I have never stopped loving you”.

They kissed again. This time it was soft and tender. They hugged for what seemed like an eternity and then walked together, hand in hand, to Remus’ quarters.

After a while of cuddling, kisses and promises by the fire, Remus stood up and walked towards an old cabinet on the other side of the room. He rummaged through it for a while, until he found what he was looking for. He walked back and sat next to Sirius, their knees touching just slightly. Sirius distinguished a little velvety box and felt a smile playing on his lips as Remus opened it. There it was, Sirius’ ring, immaculate as ever.

As he put it on Remus’ finger, they both felt whole and happy again.

94 notes · View notes

james-potters-animagus · 3 years

Text

Champagne Problems

James Potter x reader

Angst

Y/n watches as her relationship with James falls apart, not knowing why, until she meets her.

Y/n sat with James in her bedroom, basking in the innocence that came with youth. The two thirteen year olds couldn’t even imagine what was to come next. Y/n couldn’t imagine seeing her best friend, who she had recently found out she had feelings for, pine after a girl who wanted nothing to do with him. Y/n couldn’t imagine being the one to find the bodies of James and Lily, then finding out her other best friend, the one she went to for comfort, had sold them out to the Dark Lord.

“Y’know, there’s something just a bit off with Remus.” James observed, staring at the girl who sat in front of him.

Y/n paused, pulling at the carpeting in her bedroom. She knew about Remus, his lycanthropy that is. He had confided in her during their second year, when she stopped him in the halls, seeing the fresh cuts that littered his pale skin.

James noticed her falter, realizing she knew something he didn’t.

“What do you know?” James asked, narrowing his eyes at her through his round glasses.

She swallowed heavily, looking back up at the boy. “Nothing. I don’t know anything.” She challenged him, suddenly finding her confidence again.

“I don’t believe that one bit.” James smirked, an idea popping into his head. He sprung up, charging toward Y/n.

Her eyes widened and he jumped ontop of her, tickling her sides until she couldn’t breathe.

“James! Stop! That tickles! Okay okay! I can’t breathe, get off me you troll!” She laughed as he straightened out to be straddling her sides, not quite ready to surrender.

“So. What do you know about our fussy little Remus?” James smirked, leaning dangerously close to her face.

“Nothing of your concern.” She sent him a crooked smile, pushing his body off of hers onto the plush, pink duvet that lay on her bed.

“Oh c’mon! I thought we told each other everything?” James pouted.

“No. No guilt tripping will work on me.” She laughed, jumping up and running out the door.

“Careful Master Y/n! Don’t fall!” Her house elf yelled after her, watching the two kids fall deeper in love with each other, without even knowing it.

“Please! Just call me Y/n!” She shouted over her shoulder, watching James catch up to her as her house elf disappeared from her sight.

“James! It’s clear you don’t care about me anymore!” She yelled, the frustration evident in her tone.

“Of course I care about you! You’re just too self centered and spoiled to see it!” James yelled back, watching as she threw herself down onto the couch in the large mansion her family owned.

“I am not! You’ve clearly found someone better! Why don’t you go run off to her!” Y/n screamed, shoving her face in her hands, the tears flowing.

“Maybe I have! Lily isn’t so selfish like you!” James shouted, walking through the door and out into the spring weather, apparating to the Potter residence.

“Of course it was Lily.” Y/n sobbed, falling into the back of the large couch.

“Y/n?” Peter asked timidly, knocking on the wood of the door frame.

“Oh! Peter. Hi.” She jumped, surprised at the knock.

“Sorry, I uh, I didn’t mean to bother you. You just looked like you needed some company.” Peter mumbled, Remus stepping beside him.

“No it’s okay. Thank you.” She answered, inviting them to sit next to her.

“Do you guys think I’m selfish and spoiled?” Y/n asked, leaning into Remus’ warm embrace.

“Of course not. James is just daft.” Remus consoled while Peter nodded.

Y/n sat at the Gryffindor table during breakfast, listening intently as Sirius told a story about the one class he has by himself. She and James had decided to just ignore each other, at least until they both can cool down.

She noticed his gaze somewhere else, and followed it, only to land on Lily Evans. She scoffed standing up abruptly and heading to muggle studies early.

“What’s her deal?” Sirius asked, watching her storm out of the great hall.

“Probably about James. Since they’re fighting and all.” Peter answered, shoveling more eggs into his mouth.

Remus nodded, grabbing his bag and following her out.

James hadn’t looked away once. Not when Sirius was telling his story, not when Y/n scoffed, not when she stormed off, not when Sirius asked, and not even when Remus got up and left. He was blinded.

As Y/n headed toward the Muggle Studies classroom she decided she could afford to skip a class, so she turned around to head back to the Gryffindor dorms, only to be met with her werewolf friend.

“Where are you going? The entrance is the other way.” Remus nodded toward the door.

“‘M not going today. Can you move please?” She snapped, peering around his shoulder.

“Nope. I’m going with you.” Remus responded, grabbing her hand and looping her arm through his own, leading her toward the dorms.

“But Remus, you’ll miss a class?” She asked, keeping her eyes trained on the boy as he walked.

“You’re worth it.” He mentioned with a small shrug.

She smiled lightly, finally feeling a bit of happiness in the sea of despair she had been in.

James’ new affliction with the Evans girl had become much more apparent now, as the five of them sat in the common room, and James sat staring at Lily across the couches. His skin had a golden tint courtesy of the glowing fire in front of him, which also made the gold in his brown eyes that much more apparent.

Eventually she couldn’t handle watching her boyfriend pine over a girl who wasn’t her. So, she ended up in her dorm, writing a letter to him. To finally seal the deal.

James,

I wish I wasn’t writing this letter right now, but I think it’s necessary. Our relationship has been deteriorating since a few months ago. And for a while I couldn’t pin point why. I thought maybe it was me. Maybe I was being too clingy. So, I tried to give you space. But then that seemingly worsened things, I was really stuck. Until I met Lily. I understand perfectly now. And before you try to convince me I’m wrong, and everything is fine, I’m not daft. I can see the way you look at her. It’s the same way I look at you. Longing. For something unobtainable. But, yours might not be. I’m also a girl, and can pretty easily decipher what goes through her mind. She does like you. She just isn’t ready to feed your ego yet. Lily will help you through everything I wasn’t able to help you with. She’ll be everything I wasn’t. Everything good for you.

Highest regards,

Y/n Y/l/n

She sighed softly, folding the parchment and placing it in the small envelope, putting his name on it and making her way down toward the boys dormitories.

Placing it on his desk, along with the several sweaters, scarves, and jewelry that had been gifted to her, she jumped when she heard the door open.

“Oh! Y/n? What are you doing in here?” James’ voice rang out in the rather large dorm, causing Y/n’s step to falter.

“James. I was just dropping some stuff off. But I best be leaving now, some studying left to do. Reckon I’ll see you around.” She nodded curtly, walking toward the door James was occupying.

“Darling? Wait just a minute. Why are all of the things I’ve given you on my desk?” He asked, tears starting to well up at the thought of her leaving him. He knew it was selfish, but he didn’t want her to leave. He knew he didn’t love her the way he loved Lily, but that doesn’t mean she should just leave. Right?

“I think it’s pretty clear what’s going on here James. Now please, let me through.” She argued, trying to push his rather large body out of the way.

“No! No, we can fix this. Whatever’s happening. We can fix it.” James stammered, guiding her back to the bed. She knew she should walk away. She should move him out of the way and leave. Whatever was happening between the two of them had become toxic. It wasn’t good for her to stay. But she couldn’t leave him.

James knew they were falling apart too. He was in love with Lily, but being with Y/n was second nature to him. He couldn’t lose that now. He knew it was selfish, putting his comfort before her emotions, but he couldn’t help it.

So, as the two talked it out they decided maybe friends was the way to be. That way they still have each other’s comfort, it’d just be different.

Y/n watched as Lily and James made their way to their classes, her heart not hurting nearly as much as it used to. She knew James wasn’t hers anymore, and she could live with it.

13 notes · View notes

noir-chien · 4 years

Text

Sirius Orion Black

It was clear from the start for him that his family and he stood in different paths, but that wasn’t enough to erase the love he felt for them. He always knew that he was different from them, something that wouldn’t let him uncover his true self. He was conscious of the fact that the only way he would become eventually himself was to run from them. He was aware of his parents’ love for him, but the burden that they put on him was too much to bear. He didn’t have what it took to become the heir that his parents had envisioned for him, so he eventually ran, trying to leave behind everything, but his love for his family.There were character traits that someone raised as a Black inherited, that Sirius always believed would benefit him, but when he tried to cut all ties with his name, those were the same traits that kept him close to it. He came to realise by building a facade made him more of a Black that helped him to distance himself. He knows how to separate the love of his family from the ideologies he considered problematic that they carried with them. The realisation that he doesn’t want to be like his family and that he doesn’t have to. When Voldemort rose, he was sure.

What Sirius will try in the future is to take all that anger and negative emotions that he buries deep inside him, to start unveiling them and working through them. He needs to face them and only then will he be ready to detach them and find his true self. Through the years after he left his house he made a new family, one he had chosen and loved them deeply. Also his loyalties will be tested when he will be put between The Order and Mundus Novus. He will be angry at his father for putting him in that place, for putting him again in the position of the heir. He hated the pure-blood bigots but he knew that if he didn’t swore loyalty to them both of his families would be at stake. How is he going to maintain both his loyalties without putting neither his biological nor his chosen family at risk. Being torn between the order and mundus novus will either tear him apart or it will give him the motivation to finally discover himself.

Character Study

ONE. Sirius Black always felt a bit different from the rest of his family, even at the young age of 10. He didn’t know how to define it, he was a kid after all. Deep down he knew that his parents had also noticed something was off from the way they looked at him. From the one hand they seemed proud that he was an energetic kid, that he wouldn't take no for an answer or when he stood up for himself and his brother when another kid talked down on them. His parents were full of hope that he would continue to stand up for his family and in extension, for the beliefs that his family name came with. On the other hand he could see the disappointment in their eyes every time he appeared to be indifferent in his father’s lectures about blood-purity and the nobility the Black family name held. Or when he didn’t bother to communicate with his equals in the balls that they attended as the Black family. The biggest disappointment had yet to come. It was his first day at Hogwarts, when his parents had to accept the fact that Sirius wouldn’t remain loyal to the Black legacy, when he was sorted into Gryffindor. He was the first Black to not continue the long tradition of being a Slytherin alumni. Orion’s and Walburga’s little boy, the family heir, was to surround himself with blood-traitors and muggle-borns. They knew that his corruption was on its wake. They were furious when they heard the news from his cousin Bellatrix, he didn’t even have the courtesy to tell them himself; or that’s how his parents perceived it. Sirius’ reason was much more devastating. He was afraid, it was clear now that he wasn’t like his family and the disappointment would grow deeper. He was afraid for what was about to come when he would be back at Grimmauld Place on Christmas.He knew how ruthless they could be.

The dread grew bigger in his heart when he found three friends in the faces of a blood-traitor, a half-blood and a no-name pure-blood, who wasn’t his equal. Despite the fact that he knew that his father wouldn’t approve of his friends, he couldn’t distance himself, he had found a family amongst them, a family that made him realise just how different he was from his family. They made him feel comfortable; he didn’t have to follow a set of rules when he spoke to them. It was the first time he truly felt a young boy, but it saddened him that he didn’t share these feelings when he was with his parents.

TWO. As Sirius grew up, the feeling that he didn’t belong grew bigger and bigger. He loved them, he truly did, but he couldn’t be the man they asked of him. He wanted to be his own person. He was now 16 and he knew that in order to discover his true self, he needed to distance himself from them. His relationship with his mother had almost completely deteriorated. His father seemed to have hopes that his son would eventually become the man that he wanted him to be. After all, he had the means to do it, but it was too early to act on it. Sirius had another revelation as he hit puberty. He began to notice he looked at boys differently than his friends that pined after their female classmates. He had also found himself to have more intimate feelings for his friend Remus. He blushed every time he undressed in front of him and he had weird specific bodily reactions. Eventually, he became sure of his sexual orientation when he embraced Moony after a nightmare that violently woke him up in the middle of the night. He felt his spine tingling and his face heating up. He could hear his heart pounding so hard that he was afraid Remus could hear it.

The summer before his return to Hogwarts for the commence of his sixth year passed contemplating his departure from his parents’ home. He didn’t belong there, he felt captive. He felt conflicted. He was torn between the man he was and the man they wanted him to be. He had to go, he had to free himself from them. Without doubt knew that the Potters would be a safe haven for him, they would accept him in their household. James was like a brother to him. He had accepted him disregarding the legacy that came with his family name. He didn’t want to leave Regulus behind but he didn’t have much of a choice. In the middle of the night, 3 dates before September the first, he gathered the things that he needed, wrote a letter addressed to his father and fled.

THREE: Now Sirius was 20 years old. He had managed to avoid his family for 4 years. It was hard at first. He had to reestablish himself. After his departure he came to realise that the Black name defined him more that he was aware of. A little while before he graduated from Hogwarts an attack took place in the school leaving bodies and injured behind it. One of the injured was Remus, his best friend and secret crush. A war was on its wake, the wizarding world divided in two sides, or so he thought. The followers of Voldemort and the ones that wanted to defy him. His friends and he had joined the Order shortly after their graduation, he had found a job as a bartender in a wizarding pub and had inherited his uncle’s fortune. He has recently started training to be an auror, so his life was finally on track. He had managed to make a name of his own, finally not burdened by the legacy of the Blacks. He was pleasantly surprised when he learnt that his father hadn’t joined the Death Eaters. Sometimes he sent Sirius letters, that Sirius always chose not to respond to them, but felt the need to read them. What he didn’t know was that Orion had already pledged his loyalty to another fraction, secret to the world. He learnt about it in the worst way possible. He had sent one of his followers to escort him to his father, who informed him about the fraction of Mundus Novus. Many things had clicked into place. The suspicions of a third party on the play, attacks that were out of character for both the order and the death eaters now were a knowledge. Orion had also informed him that his son was chosen by him to be a member and there was no way out. Sirius felt the world being swept under his feet. He had finally found his place in the world and his father came and shook everything that he struggled to build in the last 4 years.

#[ＩｎｓｉｄｅｉｎｔｈｅｄａｒｋＩ＇ｍａｃｈｉｎｇｔｏｂｅｆｒｅｅ／ｂｉｏ]

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maraudersmap123 · 5 years

Text

Disowned (James Potter)

Summary - Sirius blacks younger sister and James Potter had a bit of a fling that ended rather sourly. When she is disowned from her parents after they found out about her association with “blood traitors” shes staying at the leaky cauldron when Sirius and James find her.

Warning - disowned by family I guess. Oh and kissing but that just a kiss so you know.

Word count - 1,675

Reading time - 8 mins 10 seconds

***

They had checked everywhere for her. As soon as Sirius had realised his sister had been disowned he freaked out, especially considering he had absolutely no idea where she was. He thought that she would have come to James’, to at least talk to him and tell him what she planned to do considering he was her brother. But she never.

James tried to reassure Sirius as best he could. She was a Black after all, she could look after herself. But then again she was also fighting against the blacks so that changed things a little.

James was worried, of course he was. He loved her, he had done for years. They had dated briefly in 5th year and now 6 months later they barely talked. She had gotten distant when her mother found out and he told her he never wanted to talk to her again and proceeded to tell her she was the worst thing that ever happened to him. He regretted the words practically straight away. She, like Sirius, had her fair amount of issues due to her family life and what he said would have hurt but it was to late for that now.

They had been searching for her for days now, every friend she had that they could think of had been contacted followed by any other disowned family members who would take her in, however none of them had seen nor heard from her. Sirius’ mind had automatically suspected the worst, that they had done something to her. And with that thought the searching got more desperate.

Y/n hadn’t even considered going to the potters, she had fucked up her relationship with James and through that also his family. She knew he wouldn’t want her there and she wasn’t willing to intrude. He couldn’t even look at her so why would she guilt him into letting her live with them.

She didn’t know if the news had gotten out yet, about her being disowned. It had been a long time coming so she was pretty certain it would have. But would Sirius really care. When her relationship with James had deteriorated, though Sirius only thought it a friendship, so to did what was left of her and her brothers. Sure they talked and would greet each other in the hallway but the sibling bond was almost completely broken.

The room she had at the leaky cauldron was nothing like her room at home. It was drafty and dusty. It wasn’t particularly clean but at the end of the day she had very little money and needed somewhere to sleep. She could have went to Lily’s but she didn’t want to be a burden, or maybe Marlene’s but she would no doubt contact Sirius and then she would have to deal with the endless questions or just a cold shoulder.

***

It was late when they found her. James felt unbelievably stupid when he realised he hadn’t checked the leaky cauldron. It was the most likely place of everywhere in the wizarding world. So him and Sirius apparated straight outside the pub and made there way to the reception.

“Hello love, I was wondering if you have anyone staying here right now called Y/n Black. I’m her brother and she’s gone missing” Sirius explained flirtatiously to the bar maid and she told him to wait a minute before disappearing into the back giggling to check the book.

“I really shouldn’t be giving out this information you know” she mumbled not taking her eyes of Sirius after she returned. “Room 9”

James felt a wave of relief wash over him, she was fine. They hurriedly made there way up the stairs and straight to room 9, Sirius banging on the door demanding she let him right right away.

She dreaded this moment, she hoped he wouldn’t care enough to come find her. She didn’t want to deal with this. She swung the door open and Sirius glared at her, though she could see the look of relief in his eyes, her eyes travelled to James who was staring right at her. He looked truly happy to see her.

“How did you find me” she questioned quietly not knowing what to say to them

“It’s called common sense Y/n. What the hell where you thinking. Why didn’t you come to us. You needed help. I don’t understand you” Sirius questioned quickly and she rolled her eyes

“I can look after myself thank you very much” she mumbled under her breath not letting her eyes trail back to James. Keeping them sternly on Sirius.

“Oh come of it, you 17” he shot back his voice sharp.

“Well you know I’m fine now. If all you plan to do is get me in trouble I will ask you nicely to leave, I don’t need your help” she replied back and it was his shot to roll his eyes.

“Pack your bags your coming and staying with us. James mum said it’s fine. I’m going to have a drink downstairs and by the time I come back you better be ready to go or I will hex you into next year” he warned and she just slowly nodded her head knowing she wasn’t going to win this one. So she would have to apparate somewhere before he gets back.

Sirius stormed away and she turned back into the room packing her bags quickly and grabbing her wand, planning to leave right then when someone cleared there throat at the door.

“I don’t think you should do that” came James voice as he stepped in fiddling with his hands obviously not knowing what to do with himself.

“Don’t act like you care” she scoffed not understanding why he was talking to her.

“Don’t be stupid of course I do, why are you here anyway” he asked watching her closely as she lowered her wand slightly.

“I thought it was quite obvious actually, I need somewhere to stay and this was my cheapest realistic option” she explained, not wanting to talk to him. She hadn’t forgotten what he had said and it still hurt her just seeing him.

“Well you could have come to mines” he replied as she furrowed her eyebrows.

“You didn’t want to see me, you said so yourself. I know where I’m not wanted James” she stated and he shook his head quickly at her as she held the eye contact.

“I didn’t mean what I said, I was angry at you and I was hurt and I just said it. I would much rather you were safe with me at my house than in a dodge hotel on your own” he explained and she knew the shook was clear on her face.

“What are you talking about” she asked, not able to believe him. All the coldness leaving her voice. He had been so serious when he said it she hadn’t even considered the fact he possibly didn’t mean it.

“Well for a start your most definitely not the worst thing that ever happened to me, quite the opposite really. Now if you would please just come to my house where I can sleep at night knowing your safe I would really appreciate it” he started and continued when he seen her eyebrows furrow “I haven’t slept in days, I’ve been worried about you because I’m fully aware that you are far from fine right now and I do not want you on your own” he stressed

“I am fine” she said knowing that the second she gets asked if she’s fine or anything along them lines she starts to cry, not this time. “It’s been long awaited James, I was prepared”

“You can’t be prepared for your parents to abandon you, it doesn’t really work like that” he said taking a step closer to her and she, much to her surprise, never stepped away from him.

“I’ve missed you” he said and she shook her head. “More than you probably know” she knew what he was talking about, and it wasn’t about missing there friendship that’s for sure.

“We can’t do this again James” she whispered as he edged closer to her, she knew if he kissed her she would be able to stop. She loved him to much and she had truly missed him, and his lips.

“Why not” he replied back, his voice just as quite. She didn’t know what to say so rather shrugged her shoulders.

She didn’t stop him when he leaned in, leaving millimetres between their lips.

“If you really don’t want me to kiss you, stop me now because if I start I won’t be able to stop. Especially because it’s you” he mumbled, his lips brushing against hers unbelievably lightly.

She brought her hand up to his hair pulling him into her, finally letting there lips touch. He let his hands fall to her hips accidentally backing her against the wall, a soft laugh escaping her lips before kissing him again. She felt all the feelings she had for him rushing back to the surface as his tongue swiped across her bottom lip and she grated him access. God she’s missed this. The hidden kisses in empty classrooms, sneaking around behind Sirius’ back. It all came flashing back and she finally felt happy back in his arms.

“God I missed you” she muttered as she pulled away from him keeping her hands tangled in his hair

“Glad I’m not the only one” he replied as he leaned in again

“What the fuck” she heard Sirius’ voice bellow and she turned quickly to look at her older brother staring at his little sister and best friend pressed against the wall in a very suggestive position.

“James Potter I will kill you” he yelled and James laughed running past him and down the hall, Sirius following at an even quicker pace. The last thing she heard was ‘my little sister, really James, really’. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad living with James after all.

#james potter #james potter x reader #sirius black #marauders era #marauders imagine #young james potter #young sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #harry potter #love #fanfic #wizarding world #hogwarts #disowned #black family #lily evans

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working-on-writing · 5 years

Text

Beyond Fixing

Pairing: Wolfstar

Type: Angst, fluff

Word count: 800

Warnings: Broken relationship

Summary: Their relationship has been hurting for a long time. Are they too broken to be fixed?

“What happened to us Moony?” Remus and Sirius were sat on opposite ends of the couch, each holing their own mugs of coffee.

The pair had lived together since they left school. At first, they’d been great. They were happy, in love, and incredibly optimistic about life. About the world in general.

Work as an Auror made Sirius harder and more closed off. Remus’ job made him tired. Working with kids all day, as well as dealing with the other professors treating him like the student they all knew him as, years ago. It took a toll on them. They stopped spending time together. Stopped really needing to.

They realized that life on their own was harder than they ever expected. There was a lot of stress they hadn’t expected, a lot of acrimony they weren’t ready for. It hurt their relationship.

It was easy to ignore at first, thinking they were simply stressed, or going through a rough patch. They’d get through it. Soon though, it wasn’t just a rough patch. They would go a day, or even sometimes two without really talking to one another. The traits they fell in love with became the characteristics grating on the other’s nerve.

Sirius’ joking and youthful nature became childish and immature. Remus’ intense focus made Padfoot feel ignored. His shy and quiet nature quickly became boring.

Now it’d been almost six years, and instead of sitting together on the couch and cuddling into each other, like they would’ve a few years ago, they sat on opposite ends.

When Sirius looked over at the man he married, he felt a surge of sadness, loneliness, and regret. He missed Moony. He missed them, and the way they used to be. He missed feeling giddy over seeing his boyfriend. He missed the passion they once shared. They were stuck in a rut. Their routine locked them in a box. They did the same things every day. Nothing changed and soon their romance had staled.

He shut off the television and turned to Remus. “What happened to us Moony? We’re not the same as we used to be. I miss you Remus. I want to fix this.” The way Remus was looking at him, wide-eyed and vulnerable, made Sirius’ heart ache.

“I...I don’t know how... how we let it get this far.” He seemed a little lost for words at the entire conversation.

“I think it’s been happening for a long time Rem. I love you, and I always will, but our relationship has been deteriorating. I don’t want us to fall apart. I need you Remus. Can we fix this? Us?” He wrapped his arms around his torso, trying to comfort himself.

“I love you too Sirius. I want to fix us, but what if we’ve already let it go on for too long? What if we can’t get back to where we used to be?” There was fear in his voice.

This was something he worried about too. Were they too broken to be fixed? He couldn’t stand the idea that he and Remus might not be together. Just the thought broke something inside him. He couldn’t imagine who he’d be, or where he’d be if he didn’t have Remus in his life.

Remus was the person who had gotten him through the hardest parts of his life. Remus helped him feel better about himself and helped him get through a time in his life where he couldn’t feel safe in his own home.

“We have to get through this Rem. You’re the most important person in my life.” The tears started falling from his beautiful grey eyes. “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. You are everything to me Moony.” Right now, he needed to be close to him. He needed to feel Remus against him. Moony’s skin on his. He crawled over and curled into his side, like he used to before all of this started. “I need you too Sirius. You’re the only man I have ever loved, and you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You have been here for me through everything.” Moony wrapped his arms around his husband, burring his face into Padfoot’s hair. “We can fix it. We will fix us Sirius.”

Tonight was the first night in a long time that the two had felt connected. They finally started to feel like they belonged again. They could work out, and they would stay together. They finally felt that they would be happy again.

“I love you Remus.” Sirius murmured as be began to fall asleep in his husband’s arms.

“I love you too Sirius.”

They stayed on the couch that night, wrapped up in each other’s arms, peacefully falling asleep to the soothing sounds of the other’s heartbeat.

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blacklilyqueen · 5 years

Note

Hi there, saw you were looking to write something, sooo, why not Blackinnon, and Sirius worrying because Marlene hasn’t come from her mission yet, and James or someone trying to calm him...end it however you like, but please, for the love of Merlin, don’t kill Marlene (because SHE DOES NOT DIE, OK?!?) Yeahhh, anywhooo, hope you’re well x

A complicated mission

“Don’t beat yourself up, mate. You don’t know what’s going on, so…”

“Exactly,” Sirius sparkled angrily at his best friend, “I have no idea what happened. I have no idea where she is now. I have no idea if she’s all right,” while he spoke, Sirius walked furiously up and down the room. Marlene should have returned from her mission more than an hour ago, but had not reappeared at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix yet.

At first her absence had only slightly disturbed Sirius, asit was not uncommon for the young witch to be a little late. Especially since this mission had made a rather harmless impression at first. Dumbledore had sent Marlene to meet an old acquaintance of his, who apparently had important information about some Death Eaters. A meeting with the wise old wizard himself would probably have been too conspicuous, so he decided to send Marlene instead. Sirius had tried several times to convince himself that this acquaintance had more to tell and that Marlene hadn’t shown up for so long because it simply took him so long to tell her everything, but with every minute he waited, his hope that this was the case vanished.

“I understand,” Sirius suddenly felt James’ hand on his shoulder and turned jerkily, “If Lily was out there and I didn’t know what was wrong with her, I’d probably go crazy too. But you have to consider one thing: Marlene is an incredibly talented witch and can take care ofherself. If a Death Eater had actually crossed her path, then I would be more worried about them than her.”

Sirius knew James meant well and appreciated it, but that didn’t help him. James made him sit down again, but the annoying voice in his head that kept persuading him that something bad had happened to Marlene became louder and louder, so he soon felt he would lose his mind if it screamed louder. The scene that took place in front of his inner eye made his blood freeze. Marlene, completely on her own - left alone by him as the voice whispered in his head - surrounded by several masked figures. A green flash that suddenly bathed the whole room in a dreadful light. As if in slow motion,he saw her fall to the ground. Her wand rolled out of her hand as she hit the cold, hard floor. Her blue eyes were wide open and as they stared directly at Sirius, he could see the fear in them.

Why had he let her go alone? Why hadn’t he asked her where they would meet? Then Sirius could go there and make sure she was all right. But he had no idea where she was at that time and maybe he would never find out. Perhaps the Death Eaters were busy at that very moment making her body disappear forever. Sirius heard James’ voice only muffled, as if he were underwater. Every second he thought of Marlene’s dead body was like another drop of water filling his lungs and making it impossible for him to breathe.

“Sirius, look at me. Sirius,” James had recognised the plight of his friend and now tried with all his might to calm him downagain, “Think of Marlene coming through that door right now. Imagine her entering this room completely unharmed in a few seconds, without a single scratch. She will come to you and you can finally take her back in your arms.”

His breathing slowly returned to normal, maybe James was right. Yet a small part of his brain still couldn’t to believe this version. As he continued to try to relax and believe James, another idea made its way into Sirius consciousness.

“What if they took her with them? What if they want information from her? She could be held captive and tortured somewhere right now and we’re just sitting here!” He was so angry he started yelling at his friend.

Again a picture spread in front of his inner eye. As before,Marlene lay on the floor, but this time, she was not motionless at all. On the contrary, her whole body twitched frenziedly. She was completely cramped and her back bent so far as if it would break in two soon. Her limbs were flailing around, her face was smeared with blood and her top had some spots which implied an injury underneath. Worst of all were her screams, each even worse than the previous one. To Sirius, it felt as if every one of her cries transferred the pain from her to him, without alleviating her own pain. The voice of self-reproaches in his head had long since ceased, for every single cry caused Sirius greater pain than that voice could ever have.

“That will not happen! Marlene is certainly fine. She wouldn’t want you to drive yourself crazy.” James knew that there was no evidence to support his thesis, but he also knew that he would do everything he could to make his best friend feel better.

“And what if not? If it’s like Regulus,” Sirius stopped briefly. The thought of his little brother caused a sting in his chest,“He had suddenly just disappeared, too, and no one has heard from him since.”

It was unusual for him to talk so openly about his little brother. The relationship between the two had deteriorated greatly after Sirius ran away from home, but when he found out that Regulus had joined the Death Eaters, the bond between the two brothers seemed forever destroyed. Only when it became known that Regulus had disappeared without a trace did Sirius’ reaction clearly show that his brother still meant a lot to him. The idea that the same could happen to Marlene was inconceivable to him. Jerkily he jumped up and wanted to storm towards the door when James held him back.

“What are you going to do?”

"What do you think? I will look for her.”

"You have no idea where she is!”

"I don’t care, I’m just going to -” he was interrupted when the door suddenly swung open and a completely ruffled and soaked Marlene stood in front of him.

“Sorry I’m so late. I only got the message from Dumbledore that I should meet his friend in St. Ives, but apparently there is a St. Ives in Cornwall and one in Cambridgeshire and with my luck he was of course in -” she couldn’t finish her sentence, because the next moment he had already taken her face between his hands and pulled her towards him. His lips were pressed against hers and his arms embraced her so tightly that one might think he would never let her go again.

#blackinnon #sirius x marlene #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #marlius #marlene mckinnon #sirius black #marauders #marauders era #mwpp #mwpp era #padfoot #james potter #prongs #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs

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siriusly-its-lena · 5 years

Text

November 3, 1959 - November 3, 1981

It was a cold, stormy night when he came wailing into the world, grasping for air, as desperately as the rough wind outside bashed against the windows.

Walburga Black smiled, in sheer triumph, upon hearing the healer announce it was a boy. A boy. She had done it. The heir nor Cygnus nor Alphard could provide, she had gave him life. After having heard so many pleas from her father-in-law, her own father’s worries and her husband’s incessant expectations, there he was.

He was placed in her arms, small, but strong. His skin had become red from all the weeping, and she shushed him while gently stroking his forehead and in between his eyes. Those he finally opened, while his frown became a look of attention, revealing a clear, grey iris. As his crying ceased, she realized what a beautiful creature he was. What a worthy, sturdy, and handsome heir she had brought into her family.

She named him after the brightest star in the night sky, like many Blacks were named before him. However, none of them had been as worthy of such name, she was sure. She watched the name Sirius Orion Black and the face of her most beautiful son being added to the family tree tapestry, with a smile of satisfaction on her lips.

Orion was proud, but not as proud as she was. After all, most of it was her doing. She had been responsible for carrying him for nine whole months, for being a model of health during that entire time, and of course, for giving birth to him. Thirteen hard, excruciating hours of labor. This victory, she was more than pleased to wear like a badge of honor.

Walburga was set to raise him in the highest of pureblood customs. And as her little heir slept peacefully in his crib, she caressed his dark hair while dreaming of what she had in store for his future. French lessons as soon as he was able to speak. The best private tutors until he was at age to attend Hogwarts. Duel instructors as soon as he could properly hold a wand. Her Sirius would have everything that would be fit for a prince to possess, and more.

His very first accidental magic happened the day Walburga gave birth again, to another boy, Regulus Black. Once more, she was filled with happiness to bring yet another heir to the House of Black. At that point, with almost two years old, Sirius had already proved to be talented, but somewhat of a challenging child. He craved for attention, and had a flair for trouble. Upon realizing Walburga was laying her attention on another, an attention that up to that point, had been exclusively his, he cried for her, making the window of his brother’s nursey explode. Walburga was beyond proud.

As the years passed, her firstborn went from challenging to difficult. At three years old, he somehow learned how to say very unflattering words in French, which his tutor had sworn had not come from his lessons. At five, he would refuse to talk to his eldest cousin, Bella. At seven, he got a well-deserved slap from his father after being disrespectful with his grandfather Arcturus.

He began to slowly drive Walburga mad. He wouldn’t properly wear the elegant robes she would so carefully choose for him, he showed no interest whatsoever in the dark arts the tutor Orion had hired so diligently tried to taught him, he would question every single one of his mother lectures, and he would avoid all people except for his cousin Andromeda and his uncle Alphard at family gatherings. Her handsome, worthy prince was showing to be more of an arrogant little scoundrel.

At ten years old, right before his eleventh birthday and one year before he went to Hogwarts, he made his most grievous, most horrendous mistake, up to then.

Living right in the middle of muggle London, Walburga had always instructed her sons not to mingle with filthy, disgusting muggles. She had warned them of the dangers, of the disgrace such conduct could result in. Wizards – especially pureblood wizards such as themselves – were far beyond superior to the lots of muggles. No, they were not to associate with such worthless vermin.

And yet, after being raised between the greatest of their kind… after receiving a treatment fit for royalty, after being taught by the most brilliant in the most advanced lines of the dark arts, after being educated in the most traditional, most high-valued of wizard kind customs, there he was… Running, kicking some kind of ball, laughing and playing with a muggle boy.

Walburga witnessed this scene with her own eyes, upon opening her front door after failing to find her son inside the house for his etiquette lessons. Without saying any word, to him or to the disgraced little pest he was socializing with, she grabbed Sirius by the arm and led him inside Grimmauld Place.

He was punished, and although he cried in pain, she made it very clear for him that she had been merciful, for she was his mother. When Orion came home, Walburga ran to her husband in furious rage and told him what she had witnessed. He was as lived as she had been and the boy was punished once more. The next day, the boy tried to put on a brave face, but upon hearing his father demanding he apologized, and seeing his mother draw her wand from her robes, Sirius started sobbing, and asked for their forgiveness.

Her precious heir had gone to proudest achievement of her life, to challenging child, then difficult boy. However, she still had hope. After all, Sirius was now old enough to go to Hogwarts. Now, he would finally have some interest in the dark arts, being amongst friends who came from the same background as him. He would finally understand what his parents had meant when they said some wizarding families were superior to others. Walburga believed, Hogwarts would be the place where Sirius, finally living midst pureblood wizards of his own age, would discover the true meaning of what it was to be a Black. He would finally understand his calling, his purpose.

He was sorted into Gryffindor.

Ungrateful, disrespectful, devil of a child! Walburga made sure to send him a very nasty howler, which he did not respond to. In fact, he barely communicated with his family through the whole school year. Hogwarts had been Walburga’s highest hope, but it had become her worst nightmare.

From that moment on, his relationship with the family only began to deteriorate. His friends weren’t purebloods. In fact, it seemed Sirius tried to avoid purebloods. He had a talent for charms, and still no interest in the dark arts. He spent half the summer – every single summer – with his friend James Potter, at his parent’s household. He also ran to his uncle Alphard’s house every chance he got, and he attended Andromeda’s wedding to the filthy little mudblood – fact that was only learned by Walburga after he went, and to which he was duly punished for.

He referred to mudbloods as muggle-borns, and Walburga feared he was interacting with those lots. He decorated his whole room with red and gold and scattered the walls with pictures of him and his friends and posters of bands Walburga had never heard of. When he was fifteen, he hanged a picture – a muggle picture – of a muggle girl on his wall. Walburga tried to blast it off, and so did her husband. They failed to do so, and Sirius was punished again. He did not seem to care. He had grown used to it.

At sixteen, he was a handsome, talented, bright young wizard. He looked like everything Walburga wished and imagined he would look like some day. He was tall like her brothers and her husband; he had her long, black and beautiful hair, and the Blacks sharp grey eyes and cheekbones. Everything about his looks screamed pureblood. Everything about his conducts screamed otherwise. When he came home from his fifth year Christmas break, a time where the Dark Lord and his followers were making some progress in their campaign, he got into a big argument with his parents. Truth was Sirius was far from being the man Walburga and Orion expected him to be – the man they raised him to be. Once again, Sirius was insolent, arrogant and disrespectful, and once again, he was punished.

It wasn’t the first time Sirius had taken the cruciatus curse. But she had noticed: there was something off about it this time. Even though she had been merciless, even though she had no more pity for him, it seemed as if he was suffering less, afterwards it happened. That same night, on Christmas, Sirius ran away.

She blasted him off the family tree as soon as she realized what he had done. She disinherited him, erased him forever of the House of Black. She screamed, as Orion sulked, and Regulus hid. She had not two sons, but only one. That disgrace was not to be seen or recognized by her anymore. She learned that he had ran away to the Potter’s household, and she made sure not to hear from him again after that.

Walburga did not know what had become of him after he graduated, nor did she want to. Alphard died, and left him his money, which caused his demise from the family tree as well. Sirius did not come to his funeral, despite his uncle´s charitable gesture towards him. Neither did he came to his brother’s funeral. Or his father’s.

It was his twenty-second birthday when she got the news. It cannot be – she thought to herself, for it was simply impossible. In Azkaban, for the death of twelve muggles. A follower of the Dark Lord all along – she was told. She laughed. Hysterically. She did not believe it. Not the crime – that, Walburga knew Sirius was capable of – she did not believe the motive.

But there it was, then. She was alone. Her husband, dead and buried, her brothers, long gone, her prodigy son, sacrificed, and her firstborn, imprisoned for life. She sat at her high chair, tears in her eyes, a deranged smiled on her lips. Her last offspring, her biggest pride and then her biggest shame. She glanced at the tapestry in the wall, and at the hole where once Sirius’s face had stood. What a worthy, sturdy, and handsome heir I brought into my family. – she thought to herself – What a disgraceful shame – she thought at last, while another hysterical laughter burst from her lips, and the tears streamed from her eyes.

#sirius black #sirius #walburga black #orion black #regulus black #sirius orion black #the noble house of black #house of black #harry potter #hp #hp fanfic #sorry for my english #i tried lol #anyway here's a short story of our favourite dogfather on walburga's pov #the blacks #marauders #padfoot

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infamousbartycrouchjr · 5 years

Text

"The Dark Lord and I have much in common. Both of us, for instance, had very disappointing fathers... very disappointing indeed. Both of us suffered the indignity, Harry, of being named after those fathers. And both of us had the pleasure... the very great pleasure... of killing our fathers! ... I will be honoured beyond all other Death Eaters. I will be his dearest, his closest supporter... Closer than a son."

Barty Crouch Jr

THE YOUNG WIZARD BEHIND THE MAGICAL EYE

Full Name:

Bartemius Crouch Junior

Alias:

Barty Crouch Jr., Barty

Alastor Moody (while impersonating him during the Goblet of Fire)

Origin:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Book 4

Occupation:

Death Eater

Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher

Powers/Skills:

High intelligence

Considerable magic power

Capable of out-dueling Alastor Moody and hoodwinking the Goblet of Fire

Unforgivable Curses

Hobby:

Serving Lord Voldemort better than any other Death Eater.

Goals:

Get revenge against his inattentive father, Bartemius Crouch Sr.

*Return Voldemort back to power by getting Harry through the Triwizard Tournament.

Type of Villain:

Magical Master Manipulator

Bartemius "Barty" Crouch, Jr. (gone undercover as Dark Wizard hunter Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody) is a Dark Wizard and an infamous Death Eater, and the main antagonist in the fourth Harry Potter book/film, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Crouch spends most of the story posing as the friendly teacher Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, and became the Defense Against the Dark Arts (D.A.D.A.) teacher at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry during the Triwizard Tournament, hosted by Hogwarts. He was sent by Voldemort, the most-powerful of all Dark Wizards and leader of the Death Eaters, to rig the Triwizard Tournament so that Harry Potter wins the tournament and use his blood to give Voldemort a new body. He is widely regarded as a fan-favorite among the Death Eaters.

HISTORY

In 1981, after Lord Voldemort lost his powers after trying to kill Harry Potter, Barty (then 19) along with Bellatrix Lestrange and other Death Eaters tortured Frank and Alice Longbottom into insanity using the Unforgivable Curse Cruciatus to find any information on Voldemort's whereabouts. Presented before the Wizengamot they were sentenced to Azkaban. Barty openly pleaded with his cold father for mercy, but the long-strained relationship between them and Crouch Senior's own standing in the Ministry meant that this was impossible. According to Sirius Black, Barty was screaming inside his cell for his mother for the first few days, but then quieted down from the extreme depressive influence of the Dementors, as did many other prisoners.

One year later, his mother's health had deteriorated drastically from the stress of her son's imprisonment. The couple were allowed a deathbed visit of their son due to Bartemius Sr.'s high status in the Ministry. She persuaded her husband to help smuggle their son out of Azkaban by swapping him for his mother. Using Polyjuice Potion, and undetected by the blind Dementors, Mrs. Crouch took the place of her son. She died a short time later, and was buried outside the fortress under the guise of her son.

Bartemius Sr. was overcome with grief and guilt, and opted to control him via the Imperius Curse to protect his son by keeping his existence secret from the public, and to keep the son from continuing the search for Voldemort. He also forced him to hide under an Invisibility cloak at all times. This was more directed at honoring his beloved wife's last wish, and while some small affection for his son came through, the methods he used to do this arguably drove Junior further into madness.

Bertha Jorkins, a Ministry of Magic employee, accidentally discovered the truth when she came unannounced to the Crouch home and discovered their secret. Bartemius Sr. rectified this with a Memory Charm so powerful that she suffered permanent brain damage. Years later, Peter Pettigrew ran into Bertha while searching for Voldemort. In the hopes that she would prove useful to him, Peter tricked her into going with him. She ended up proving very useful to Voldemort; not only did he extract the whereabouts of his loyal servant, but also gathered information on the Triwizard Tournament, which was to be held at Hogwarts. Voldemort murdered Bertha, and the Ministry deemed her "missing" for months.

HIS ROLE

Barty was sent to the 1994 Quidditch World Cup under cover of the Invisibility Cloak along with his family's houseelf, Winky. Winky knew that Barty had always loved Quidditch and persuaded Mr. Crouch to allow him to go out and have some fresh air. Barty's mother, after all, wanted him to have freedom. Barty's seat, by chance, was in a skybox alongside Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. During the Quidditch match, Barty broke free of the Imperius Curse his father had placed on him. Furious of his father's actions, Barty decided to get revenge, and stole Harry's wand, which was in view. He then escaped Winky's watch over him, as she was so afraid of heights in the sky box that she covered her eyes for the entire Quidditch match.

Barty Crouch conducts a Morsmordre!!!

After the World Cup was through, Barty noticed the Death Eaters who escaped Azkaban playing with the lives of Muggles. Furious against them he used Harry's wand to launch the Dark Mark into the sky over the campgrounds, scaring the Death Eaters away. The spell that Winky used to bind herself with Barty to prevent him from escape was broken when the two were struck by Ministry officials' multiple Stunning Spells. Furious against Winky for failing to restrain his son, Crouch Sr. fired her. (At this point of the story, who launched the Dark Mark and why, as well as why Crouch Sr. was so furious at his elf were unknown to the reader.)

Left alone in the house with only father and son, one night shortly after the Dark Mark incident, Peter Pettigrew and Lord Voldemort, who needed a loyal follower to help him regain power, managed to free Barty from his father's imprisonment. Voldemort put Bartemius Sr. under the Imperius Curse and forced him to keep working at the Ministry as he usually would.

As part of his servitude as a Death Eater, Barty was charged with infiltrating Hogwarts Castle, entering Harry's name into the Goblet of Fire and guiding him through Triwizard Tournament without having appeared to do so. Barty accomplished this by breaking into former Auror Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody's home and kidnapping him. He created Polyjuice Potion from Alastor's hair and concealed the Auror in his own magical trunk. He then proceeded to take over Alastor's job at Hogwarts, teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. He was able to maintain his disguise for months undetected by learning from his captive how to act exactly like him, and by consistently sipping the potion from a hip flask; he did so in plain view of students and staff, and it was generally assumed that this was due to Moody's well-known intense paranoia.

Barty used his time at Hogwarts to gain the trust of the students and staff at Hogwarts. During his first lesson for a group of fourth year students, he demonstrated all three Unforgivable Curses on three different spiders and, controversially, later also the Imperius Curse on the students themselves, although he claimed to have had permission to do so, in order to teach them how to overcome it. As a teacher, Barty (under the guise as Alastor) was actually quite effective, and despite his ulterior motives, his teaching of how to overcome curses such as the Imperius was valuable with Harry Potter gaining the ability to resist even Lord Voldemort himself as a result.

However, Barty was not at Hogwarts to mold future wizards. He entered Harry Potter's name under a fourth school into the Goblet of Fire, confusing it with a powerful Confundus Charm to ensure Harry's placement for Lord Voldemort's gain. Barty subtly helped Harry throughout the three phases of the tournament. He nudged Rubeus Hagrid into showing Harry the dragons, later suggesting that Harry play to his strengths to pass the task and thus giving Harry the idea of using a broomstick to accomplish it. He advised Cedric Diggory into telling Harry how to work out the golden egg clue, knowing that he would repay Harry for telling about the dragons. He also planted the book Magical Mediterranean Water Plants and Their Properties onto Harry's friend Neville Longbottom early on, hoping that Neville would tell him about gillyweed for the underwater task. With Harry's own pride and independent streak standing in the way of the plan, Barty had to improvise. Remembering that Harry mentioned having an elf friend named Dobby gave him socks for Christmas, Barty called Dobby into the staff room and staged a loud discussion with Professor McGonagall about gillyweed, right in front of Dobby. The house-elf responded by stealing the plant from Severus Snape's personal stores and gave it to Harry on the day of the task.

During the events surrounding the Tournament, Bartemius Sr. escaped from his home and apparated near Hogwarts, where he wandered in his confusion in search of Dumbledore, planning on confessing about how he smuggled his son from Azkaban. Voldemort immediately sent an owl to Hogwarts warning him that his father would likely show up at Hogwarts. Bartemius Sr. came upon Harry and Viktor Krum but by then, he was so delusional and insane that he was unable to clearly convey anything beyond what appeared to be ramblings about his son and Bertha. The former went to the castle to fetch Albus. Barty arrived at the scene before anyone else, stunned Viktor, and killed his father. He transfigured his father's body into a bone and buried it in front of Rubeus's cabin.

Before the third and final task of the Tournament, Barty volunteered to place the Triwizard Cup in a maze through which the contestants were to navigate. He took advantage of this opportunity to turn the Triwizard Cup into a Portkey. As he patrolled around the labyrinth hedge, he stunned Fleur Delacour and used the Imperius Curse on Viktor to get rid of Cedric, but his puppet was stunned by Harry. Nonetheless, Harry got to the Cup, along with Cedric, transporting them to the Little Hangleton graveyard when they grasped it together. It was at this time that Peter performed the horrible ritual to restore Lord Voldemort's physical body, using Harry's blood, Peter's own hand, and Tom Riddle Sr.'s bone from the grave. They then proceeded to kill Cedric.

When Harry escaped the graveyard and returned to Hogwarts, Barty ushered him away from the panicking crowd, pretending to take him to the hospital wing, to interrogate him about Voldemort's return. He revealed to Harry that it was he who guided him through the Tournament all along; he put his name in the Goblet of Fire, got Hagrid to show the dragons, explained the Golden Egg to Cedric knowing he would tell Harry, made Neville give Harry gillyweed, bewitched Viktor and stunned Fleur. Barty then planned on killing Harry and be honored above the rest of Voldemort's followers. But before he could, Albus Dumbledore, accompanied by Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape, fired a Stunner at him, having realized that he was not Alastor when he removed Harry from his sight, his only slip-up. After the Polyjuice Potion wore off, Barty confessed everything to Albus under the influence of Veritaserum, a powerful truth serum.

However, before he could testify before the Wizengamot, Barty suffered a fate worse than death, receiving the Dementor's Kiss by a Dementor that Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge brought with him. Fudge regarded Barty as a raving lunatic, disbelieving claims that he was acting for Voldemort, and dismissing with utter contempt the idea that the Dark Lord was back. What happened to Barty's empty body is unknown.

PERSONALITY

Bartemius Crouch Jr. is first displayed in Dumbledore's flashbacks of his trial. In the book, he is portrayed as a desperate boy sobbing pathetically and begging for mercy as the Dementors dragged him. However, by this point of the story he was portrayed as the innocent victim and this scene was meant to portray him in a sympathetic light, to make the final twist even more efficient. In truth, it is likely given his manipulative streak that it was an act in order to be released and resume his search for his lord free of suspicion. By contrast, the movie makes no mystery of his allegiances and shows him as significantly more confident, showing arrogance and contempt rather than fear as he is captured and dragged to Azkaban.

In reality, Barty Crouch Jr. is with little doubt the most dangerous, level-headed and competent of all Death Eaters to the point of being the favorite of the notoriously hard-to-please Lord Voldemort. While Bellatrix Lestrange can be seen as Voldemort's mightiest fighter, Crouch Jr. can be seen as his smartest follower. He is also described as a highly powerful and skilled wizard, being able to overpower Mad-Eye Moody and to cast a Confusing Charm potent enough to affect the Goblet of Fire.

Barty Crouch was shown to be highly cunning, dexterous, manipulative, and intelligent: He was able to rig the entire Triwizard Tournament from behind the scenes, mostly by using unsuspecting third parties and by planting useful items where he knew they would get in the right hands, to gain the trust of everyone and to play with people's affects, and to adapt his plan to the circumstances. Furthermore, he posed as Alastor Moody with enough skill to fool Albus Dumbledore himself, who is an old friend of the real Moody. Contrary to Voldemort and the other Death Eaters who openly scorn all way of thinking but their own, Crouch Jr. knows full well about loyalty and selflessness, and although he disdains such feelings he does not underestimate them and is able to use them to his advantage. Having broken free, Crouch seemed to have become unhinged (assuming he wasn't already) by his captivity in Azkaban then under his father's clutches. However, it must be noted that he only let his guard down when convinced to have reached his dream.

It is heavily hinted that Crouch Jr. spent his entire childhood trying to please his father, who neglected him in favor of his political ambition, and heavily suffered from it. At some point, he estranged himself from his family and got acquainted with Death Eaters, who molded him into one of them. Over time, he grew to loathe his father and became fanatically devoted to Lord Voldemort, displaying a sick obsession towards him comparable to that of Bellatrix Lestrange. Except that while Bellatrix is infatuated with Voldemort, Barty regards him as a father figure.

Crouch Jr. freely admits that he lives and breathes to serve Voldemort and yearns to prove his worth to him, in an extremely twisted search for a father's approval. He sees similarities between himself and Voldemort in their relation to their fathers and their descent into evil. (This shows that Voldemort trusted him enough to tell him about his own family, something he never mentioned to any other Death Eater.) As such, he has extreme hatred towards the Death Eaters who weaseled their way out of Azkaban, regarding them as worthless cowards and craving to see them punished. The film increases Crouch Jr. fantasies about being Voldemort's greatest servant and portrays him as somewhat megalomaniacal, regarding his enemies as "pathetic" as well as being somewhat misanthropic as shown during the trial. Alastor Moody casts a spell on him and he falls to the ground and as he is dragged from the room he says "Get your filthy hands off me, you pathetic little men!"

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