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lifewithoutmeds · 4 months

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February 3, 2024

It's only been about two and a half weeks since my last entry, which i think is pretty good. i don't like it when i go months without writing, and it's usually concerning if i'm writing daily; i'm usually "going through something" and having a terrible time, so two and a half weeks seems okay, although i think i would prefer at least once a week.

recap: january 14: i did manage to go the new abbey church. again we held hands, again we shared, again i cried, moved by both the sermon and the sharing, and afterward, spoke to the lady next to me who invited me to lunch with some other ladies, but i had to decline as i had made lunch plans with my mom that i'd already postponed a few times. i made my amazon return at whole foods of my broken heater, then had lunch with my mom.

january 15: mlk day, and hence a holiday. i met up with grace k and maddie and we went to the tujunga pond. we didn't catch anything but it was still pretty fun. maddy piled rocks on top of each other, rolled around in the dirt, and got two bites, but the water was super green and gross and i didn't see any fish or signs of fish (besides the two bites.) i think we had in n out afterward and it was really nice hanging out and maddy is in a very cute stage.

january 17: in office day.

january 18: facetime appointment with dr. sobhani who confirmed that i should be taking 300 ml of lamictal, which was comforting because i wasn't sure if it was lamictal or lexapro that i should have been taking. after work i went to paperback brewing in glendale and met up with grace y and caroline and we caught up.

friday was my RDO and i went to lana's and we all went to an airbnb at lake arrowhead. unfortunately there was no promised snow as it had been too warm, but it did rain, and the airbnb was disappointing but i did play with the kids a lot and they did get to do some tubing 30 minutes away on some manmade snow so i think they had fun. however i learned that three days and two nights with a six and three year old is just way too much for me and i don't think i'll propose another multi-day outing until they're a bit older and more independent. still i'm glad i went with them because i had wanted to get closer to the kids. i feel like a fairly absent aunt.

january 22: grace y and i visited caroline at the kaiser on sunset. over the weekend we learned that she had had a very random seizure, blacked out, and was in the hospital. i teared up a tiny bit seeing her in the hospital bed, with a hospital gown, but we tried to cheer her up while listening to what had happened. grace and james brought burritos from sonoratown, and we ate them and they were good. caroline joked that everytime we hung out, something bad would happen to her. after our thai dinner, she unexpectedly had to go to the hospital for an early and difficult multi-day birth, and then after drinks she had a seizure. i knew she was joking but i felt a bit bad.

january 24: in office and afterward went to ktown to help my dad as he has to move again. he had previously asked if he could move in temporarily, and then if he could store stuff in my living room, but he eventually decided to get a storage unit but i stopped by to pick up some stuff that my mom might want, and he also treated me to noshi although we didn't talk much and it was a bit strained.

january 25: coworked with danielle all day, then went to a mexican place afterward and drank very strong margaritas.

january 27: had a VBA's volunteer interview in the morning, then cleaned the condo, and went to celebrate steph's birthday. we picked up rynn, her friend with one leg, and all tried to make it to a planetarium show at griffith, but due to the traffic, lack of parking, and rynn's mobility issues, i had to just drop them off, park at the greek theater, then drive back up to pick them up. afterward we met LD at the little tokyo plaza, had izakaya, steph and i drank way too much sake, i decided to pay the $300 bill, we went to X Lanes to play arcade games, then ended the night back at my place with steph, rynn and i shooting each other with nerf guns until 2.am.

january 28: i awoke feeling very tired and mildly embarrassed at last night's shenanigans and resolved not to drink so much (again.) i lounged around all morning, didn't go to church, but did meet up amy for lunch at bea bea's in burbank. i think i came home and then continued to lounge for the rest of the day.

january 29: pretty uneventful day, worked from home, did some chores, but also felt this weird sense of heaviness as well as impending doom. i don't know why and i couldn't trace it to any particular thought, but i felt nervous and anxious.

january 30: after working from home, had facetime with kelda and for some reason cried the whole time. i think it was cathartic but i know i cried a bit about jadai, and how i felt betrayed by her, and of all the things she loved about me, she must not have, or she just changed, and decided to love all the things about someone else. we discussed how i was watching a lot of youtube videos of people sort of "getting what was due to them," like youtube influencers who would scam their fans, and then get caught, or "entitled karens" who'd get arrested. she figured that it was because i wanted to see the worst of humanity, but this time i concluded that in a sense, i wanted to see justice prevail, i wanted to see humanity right its wrongs, i wanted people to get what was due. and i think a part of that was that i felt wronged, and i felt that what jadai had done and was doing was wrong, and not that i wanted her to get hurt or suffer per se, but i wanted her to sort of be able to see how she was hurting people, how reckless she was, and for something to make her stop.

january 31: in office day and joyce treated us to sonoratown, and i had two tacos and one very spicy bean and cheese burrito.

february 1: i was feeling a bit anxious about having no plans for the weekend. i had felt exhausted by last week's activities and had initially felt relieved that i didn't have so much to do, but the thought of a completely bereft weekend, with no plans, no one to see, and no one to do anything with filled me with panic. tracy was going to see ash's family, lana had a litany of sports with sawyer, and i didn't want to go to long beach/harbor city to hang out with the long beach gaysians. i also felt weirdly distant from lorena and also knowing that she worked weekends, didn't want to reach out to her. randomly amir hit me up and we ended up meeting cesar, first to go to a scary dive bar in arcadia, and then to barney's beanery in pasadena where we ended up having a decent time and heading out around 11pm.

february 2: friday, my RDO. for some reason yesterday or the day before i had decided to go to this one-woman show at the lyric hyperion, partly because it looked well-reviewed, partly because it was at the lyric hyperion in silverlake and not in hollywood or west hollywood, and mostly because i had no other plans. tracy and steph wouldn't/couldn't make it, so even though i had just lounged around allll day, i almost didn't go, but finally did, wearing the same thing that i'd worn all day which was some black joggers and my grey rainier sweatshirt.

oh my gosh, that was the best experience of my life. somehow i got a middle front row seat, just within a few feet of Sophie Santos, and her show was all kinds of wonderful. she was funny, she was vulnerable, i laughed and cried and related so much as she discussed getting off of antidepressants without tapering, being broken up with who she thought was the love of her life, fighting feelings of abandonment and lack of self-worth, but also singing, doing impressions, and at some point, playing the guitar. the BEST part was that she interacted a lot with just me, possibly because i was in the front, or possibly because i was alone, who knows, but there was a part where she talks about her ex wanting space, and then the projections around her showed space, and she suddenly came right up to me, put a battery in my left cupholder which also held my phone, handed me a spaceman disco ball, and told me to shine it on her. i immediately shined it on her face and she quipped, "not right Now!" and everyone laughed. she went on with her show then nodded at me and said "now" and then i held it for her while she finished her song. later on, she smoked an imaginary cigarette and then when her ex's mom came to the imaginary door/house, she ran to me and told me to hold her cigarette. i think i took it like a joint and she quipped again, "have you ever held a cigarette?" and everyone laughed again. during a part where she talked about kind of coming into her own, she unbuttoned her long sleeve blouse/shirt, then threw it to me, and i caught it and just held it the entire time, not knowing what to do, not knowing if i could take it as a souvenir or what. in another bit called "rebound," where she sings about rebounding with whoever, she danced very sultrily up to me, almost like a lap dance, and as she got closer asked, "is this ok?" to which i must've nodded, eyes wide open, in a daze, and she looked straight at me, coyly smiling, just so fucking attractively, and basically gave me a very PG lapdance, before swinging by, sitting next to me, then going back to the stage. i was in love. or infatuation. or whatever. but. i was awestruck. gobsmacked. i had never been so physically and mentally attracted to anyone in my life. i was just stunned as i clung to her shirt.

after the show i waited a bit, and most people streamed out, but a few approached this lady who seemed to be a collaborator/producer type, and i was going to congratulate her on the success of the show, and possibly give her back the shirt so she could return it to sophie, but then sophie herself came out of the curtain and started getting her electronic stuff and i was able to approach her directly and return her shirt and say something like, that was the best show i'd ever seen, and she shot out her hand, shook mine, and said " i'm sophie," and i said "i figured." then i looked around and asked if i could do anything to help, she declined, and i asked if she was going to hang around afterward a bit, and she said she would, so i left.

after i bought a beer, i asked the cashier if i could take one of her flyers, and he said sure, then i walked out, still in a daze. some ladies stood around and said stuff like, "you did great! i'd be so afraid to be in the front, that's why i sit in the back!" and things like that and we chatted a bit before they returned to talking to each other. i eventually asked if they would mind if i could just stand with them, since i felt a bit silly standing by myself, and they said i could, and then some of the production people came out, like the lady who did tech, and her boyfriend, and i said hi and then finally sophie herself came out and i just stared silently for a few minutes before she kinda turned to me and introduced herself again and i said, " i was the lady in the front," (since she had already introduced herself to me and it seemed as if she had forgotten,) but she said, "i know. we had a moment." and i almost died. I ALMOST DIED.

after just a bit, they were like, okay, we're heading out to "blue" or something, and then they all left and i tossed out my remaining beer and went to my car, then to ruby fruit because the night was so anticlimactic, then home.

when i awoke, i felt this kind of ... craze come over me. all i could think of was sophie, and how sultrily she danced, and how attractive she was, and i could feel that old feeling of being obsessed. i followed her on instagram, messaged her about how much i enjoyed the show and compared it to "fleabag," and went through her page and liked about a year's worth of posts. she eventually messaged me back her thanks and for being a "good sport" and i did all i could not to message her back within half a second, and managed to wait about four minutes before i messaged her again. she responded, but with just a pretty short and generic response, which i "liked," or "loved" possibly, then felt all sorts of craziness. just the old sense of heightened feelings, of emotion, of growing obsession. i even teared up a little, scared at the magnitude of my feelings. i bought her book on amazon, i looked up her next shows, i contemplated driving to san franciso to see her sunday show, and i just felt so out of control, i felt myself spiraling, i saw myself following her, trying to get close to her, going to all of her shows, getting her autograph in my book and/or on the flyer.

i saw her dancing sultrily in front of someone else, i felt the stabs of jealousy that she could do to someone else what i felt was so special with me, i imagined her doing this every night with some other girl, i imagined her being gone, touring for weeks at a time, and always assuming she'd cheat on me. i felt my own ordinariness, i felt so small and weak and stupid, that she was so smart and charismatic and charming and yet sexy and funny, just everything, just perfection, and i felt myself idolizing her. i felt myself wanting to just be there, even just marginally, to just watch her from afar, to touch the hem of her shirt, to water her plants and feed her cats while she was out of town, to fill a seat at the table if someone canceled last minute but they'd lose their reservation if they couldn't fill it.

and then i felt again how plain i was, how unextraordinary. i was a cubicle worker living in glendale. i slept 12 hours a day and would just eat nutritionless pasta. i stared at my phone way too much. i had insurance and stuff, but was just so lame.

and then i realized how i was falling into old patterns. suddenly she was the DJ and i was cleaning her apartment, watering her plants, organizing her shelves, just to be proximal to her. she was lorena, and i was obsessively watching her ig, seeing new posts, noticing whenever she removed something or adding something, knowing that if she worked at a restaurant or a bar, i'd figure out her schedule and go every shift just to get a glimpse of her. i felt the spiral. i felt my weakness and her power over me even when she didn't ask for it, even though she was completely unaware of it, even if she wanted nothing to do with it.

i felt nervous, i felt anxious, i kept tearing up, and i just didn't know what to do with myself, just so restless. i'm trying to tell myself: she's a performer. she connects with the crowd. that's her strength, and that's her job. there was nothing special about you. she does this every night with a new person. she didn't follow me back on instagram or invite me out to whatever bar the rest of her group was going. she has 5,000 followers and probably gains another 100 every time she does a performance. she's a star. she wins awards and presents at awards and does workshops. she's made it, and she's only going to go to higher heights and she has already forgotten me even though she's made such an indelible impact on me.

i feel myself going crazy. i'm embarrassed. it feels like regression. i feel stupid and fat and lazy and unimpressive. i thought i was funny but she's exponentially funnier than i am. i feel my lack. i feel like crying constantly. and it makes me feel unhealed. i texted danielle and she reminded me that this has everything to do with me and nothing to do with her and i know this, i know this fully, and i'm tailspinning and i need to get a grip but i feel out of control.

i know this has happened before. adriana, regina, sarah, (ooh that's a lot of names ending in "a",) nida (omg), patricia from portugal, and then shy, DJ, and lorena.

with adriana, nida, patricia, DJ, and lorena, i was convinced, conVINCED that i would never stop pining over them, loving them, etc., but eventually for all of them, i did. some of these obsessions lasted years, decades even, and some faded within 1-2 years, besides wholly and fully believing i never could.

i really need to get a grip. i don't want to tell anyone about my feelings because i know they'll just roll their eyes and go "here we go again." when i told lana about my experience, she said, "and did you buy her dinner and drinks too? that's what you do. i've never seen someone fall in love as fast as you do."and i don't want to expend a ton of energy on this idolization, on another dream, on another chase that i'll never fully realize, when i should be having real relationships with real people, who are at my own level, in my own stupid league.

i'm not feeling so good. all sorts of crazy. a familiar crazy. but i want to work this out faster than the others. i can't keep falling into these patterns of yearning after someone who will never have me. i cannot. i must not.

week ahead: sunday: church hopefully. tuesday: some movie hopefully in my quest to watch more movies. wednesday: in office friday: dr. appointment saturday: nothing set, but hopefully drop off some e-waste looks like a slow week. hopefully i can get in at least a few walks, an episode or two of The Read, finish my book, journal, etc.

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maychild · 4 years

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CAPTURE LOVER #冰糖陷阱 eps 1-3 review/recap

So, Capture Lover aka China’s first BL drama since Addicted has started airing. So far eps 1-3 are already up on the site/app: https://www.gagaoolala.com/en/home (and will be available on viki too later this month--July, I mean, but i couldn’t wait and signed up for a GagaOOLaLa account, but the first ep is free on the GagaOOLaLa app and honestly it’s not too expensive--about 6.99USD for the rest of the episodes.)

One thing I wish is that this series had a bigger budget than it did, but, honestly, considering all the obstacles in TPTB’s way in *even* getting this much produced, I’m still excited to watch it and support it. (Like we know Taiwanese/Chinese dramas can all be very High Quality, and it makes me sad that CL had such a low budget to work with...so just something to consider if or when ppl start watching this drama and complain about the quality...)

but let’s talk about the characters:

DING JUNJIE is the manager (at 25, apparently). a calm hard-worker. honestly, he comes off as one of those super up-tight, perfectionist a*holes. but he’s also extremely handsome, and loyal to fault.

YING JIAMING is...look, he just wants to nap all the time. WHY WONT ANYONE LEAVE HIM ALONE TO SLEEP??? he’s always super tired, copies whole projects from the internet (loll), and generally has a very bad work ethic that Junjie wonders why HR hired him at all...(bc Jiaming’s the Chairman’s son and he’ll take over the company someday loll)

Junjie’s & Jiaming’s relationship here at the very beginning is adversarial--Junjie is no-nonsense, serious, prim & proper, and Jiaming is of course the very opposite--he doesn’t take work seriously, just wants to nap and play videogames all day, and pranks Junjie. He shrugs off even the threat of bankruptcy. A very delicious beginning of the “enemies to lovers” trope.

then there’s Manager Leng:

Manager Leng is Junjie’s boss--she ends up making him redo his work when she finds some mistakes. And by ep. 2 she’s gone, which makes me sad (i hope they at least transferred her to another good department..)

Because of Jiaming plagiarising stuff off the internet, Junjie forces Jiaming to work with him later that night, locking the door to his office so Jiaming won’t be able to escape (loolll cant Jiaming just unlock the door himself??) Jiaming tries to get a bathroom break, but Junjie just gives him a water bottle (ewwwww, so many things wrong with that, I sincerely hope it’s a joke...). Then he says he’s hungry, and Junjie offers him instant noodles he prepared, but Jiaming wants seafood. They bicker some more, and get in each other’s faces--like extremelyyyy close to each other.

poor bb looks so overworked.

Junjie’s very depressing office--he does have a potted plant, but it’s in the corner, and I wonder why they cover up the one window he has.

Jiaming attempts to apologize for all his mistakes by bringing Junjie a drink of water. BUT THEN tells him it’s from the toilet, oh that child. (I mean...it’s not really from the toilet as Jiaming takes a sip himself, but considering how much teasing & joking around Jiaming does, is it any wonder Junjie can’t figure out when Jiaming is being earnest or not?? I sure as hell can’t.)

if ur boss finds u sleeping on company-hours, he will take a sharpie to your face

EP. 1 was pretty good in developing Junjie’s & Jiaming’s dynamic. And, I’ll be honest, the thing that drew me in...of course, there are a myriad of things that could be better with this series, but for the budget they’re working with, I’m not expecting a masterpiece.

-----

EP. 2 THO is when things get really going--for one, Jiaming replaces Manager Leng as head of the company! And his attire makes me think he copied Junjie’s style--Junjie isn’t the only one who works in a suit (upper management are the only ones in business attire, while the underlinings seem to be allowed in casual wear), but lemme me think it’s bc of Junjie anyways.

Junjie though is NOT at all impressed by this turn of events.

After the meeting, these three voice their disbelief at the change in personnel, having doubts about why Jiaming is now head of the company considering how bad of an employee he was.

THEN this exchange happens wherein Jiaming vows to teach Junjie some “lessons” too...

they end up staring into each other’s eyes a lot considering they don’t like each other that much yet.

Jiang Zhihao comes by wondering what Junjie is doing working late again, and Junjie says to ask Ying Jiaming. Zhihao is astonished that Ying Jiaming is making Junjie work on his birthday, and advises Junjie to complain to the Chairman about his son. Though Junjie wonders when a lowly worker such as himself would even get a chance to meet the Chairman.

Jiaming also comes by with dinner--not being able to leave Junjie alone since he’s working late.

(these dumplings look soooo good.)

One of them is working hard and the other is stuffing his face lol (i mean jiaming did offer his food to the workaholic, but the workaholic refused the free food...)

Jiaming finds out that it’s Junjie‘s birthday and runs out to buy a cake. And that’s the end of the second episode.

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EP. 3 starts with Jiaming waiting for the cake at the bakery. And of course he rushes the poor pastry lady.

BUT he finds he was too late because, a lady--Meng Yao, aka Junjie’s only female friend--beats him to Junjie’s office with her own cake, and asks Junjie to make a wish. I find this so adorable. Meng Yao is super pretty and cute though.

While he’s thinking of what to wish for, Jiaming literally rushes into the room--sees the cake on the table, and tries to scold Junjie for not working. Hahahahaha. Now he acts like the cold, harsh boss that he isn’t.

Junjie walks Meng Yao home, and it’s obvious that she feels something for him as she hugs him and asks him not to push her away. She admits that she has been with him ever since elementary school, and i’m like, lady, that is utter devotion right there.

Though she says she’s tired (presumably of this utter devotion), she hopes he’ll allow her to love him for a few more years. (Like, whuuuut?? Meng Yao is also utterly loyal, and I wish she could move on.)

Junjie gets home, and his mother fusses over him. Initially, he refuses her food--saying he had some cake that Meng Yao brought over at the office, and of course Mama Ding starts singing Meng Yao’s praises.

Mama Ding also tries to snoop around some and figure out if there’s anything going on between them, but Junjie is pretty firm that they’re just good friends, and you can tell he hates disappointing both his mother & Meng Yao.

(“I don’t have plans to fall in love yet” hahahahaha famous last words, dear Junjie.)

Junjie is a good son, working so hard so his mother isn’t the one suffering, and I like his mom (what we’ve seen of her so far), but she’s also pretty much counting on Junjie marrying a girl & having children, so I wonder if she’s going to be a roadblock to Junjie’s & Jiaming’s relationship later on. Or at least one of them...

As Junjie eats his mother’s dumplings that she prepared for his birthday, he flashes back to Jiaming’s offerings of his own dumplings in the office.

The next morning Junjie gets to work and finds Jiaming’s cake on his desk with a post-it note wishing him happy birthday. Awww. It’s sweet, and the adorablest. Until we see the cake, that is.

Yeppp, that is a cake with a giant penis. But it makes Junjie smile the cutest smile. (Dare we think he likes all the joking and pranks that Jiaming pulls on him???)

While Junjie’s smirking to himself in his office, a commotion outside draws his attention--Zhang Fengxia has arrived with her two bodyguards (she’s Jiaming’s ex-girlfriend), and is trying to push her way into the office, but the office workers can’t allow her admittance.

Zhang Fengxia yells for Ying Jiaming, but Junjie informs her he’s not at work yet.

Zhang Fengxia (aka “please call me Lucy. Lucy Zhang”) asks who he is that he would know when Jiaming gets into work or not (which is also what I was thinking, NGL, seeing as Junjie isn’t his boss anymore).

Ying Jiaming announces behind everyone that Junjie is his boyfriend (!!!!!) and this is the start of them fake-dating to keep Zhang Fengxia away, lolll.

While Jiaming tries to beg Junjie for his help, the three underlinings have a gross conversation about this romantic development being a dream come true for the female office workers. AND then this guy opens his mouth. (We don’t know any of the underlinings’ names yet, so he’ll just be “this guy” for now.) I know there’s a serious problem of gay fetishization that needs to be addressed, but 15-20 min dramas usually don’t address them beyond making cringy characters, so like what’s the point?? And it should go without saying that writing gay fiction about your co-workers is gross and not okay! *hands*

But then we get to the skinship. They look so cozy while cuddling together. 😅

This does the trick though! And Lucy dramatically exits, saying how heartbroken she is, and Jiang Zhihao is left utterly baffled as well.

And that’s the end of ep. 3. (also, junjie runs away, almost gagging, i guess?? but i hope it’s just him pretending he’s grossed out because, otherwise...)

And eps. 4-6 will be aired next thursday! so see u then, i hope!

#capture lover #冰糖陷阱 #capture lover: 冰糖陷阱 #chinese dramas #chinese BL #ding junjie #ying jiaming #...i apologize for this recap/review #i am not a recapper/reviewer #but i love this drama so much #and i want to share that awesomeness with others #i also thought about doing separate entries for each episode instead of grouping them together...#but honestly they're short episodes #that i think it's okay to do three recaps in one entry #otherwise each recap would be v. short as i'm trying not to ramble on too much #but we'll see with future episodes

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writefightandflightclub · 3 years

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Too much information (Frankie Morales x GN reader)

Summary: you’re dating Frankie in secret, and Pope is on to you. Brunch probably isn’t the best place to put his interrogation skills to use, but do you really think that’s going to stop him?! No, me neither.

Author’s note: this is just a quick, silly, shortish blurb. Nothing special but the scene popped into my head and then my finger slipped, so here you go. It’s mainly between reader and Pope, but you are dating Frankie and he does appear.

Warnings: not really. Food mention.

GIF by @themarcusmoreno

“Is that ‘Fish’s t-shirt?” Pope asks bluntly, as he settles into the booth opposite you, the group gradually gathering for lunch. You had arrived first, and begun perusing the menu.

“Normal people might shoot for a hello,” you josh, standing and leaning over the table to greet him with a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, that too,” he grins. “Well, is it?”

Before you retake your seat, you take a quick look down at the garment in question. A marled-grey band shirt.

“No,” you answer adamantly, crinkling your face in confusion. “It’s not.”

“You sure?” Pope presses, and he leans in, resting on his folded arms. His stare is intense, and you suddenly feel like you’re in an interrogation. You suddenly feel very sorry indeed for his prior subjects, considering this is a mere taster of the intensity they were subjected to.

“Yes,” you say in a level voice, looking him dead in the eye.

“Hmm,” he nods, considering it, his hand rasping over his stubble. He takes a menu too, from the stash at the far-end of the booth. You hope he’s dropping the topic, but no such luck. “See. You already made one mistake,” he breezes, and you squirm in your seat. “You checked. You looked down, as if it could be Frankie’s t-shirt.”

You saw your jaw from side-to-side.

“Which I’m pretty sure it is,” he adds with a flourish of his hand, his eyes flashing with a smug pride.

“It’s not,” you snap, staring him down until he raises his hands in surrender.

“Okay.”

Finally. You look down at the menu, selecting your burger and milkshake combo. But he’s not done yet. Of course. Air seethes out out your nose. “Looks like his though. Doesn’t really fit you either. Not really your usual style,” he muses, as if ticking off a checklist in his head.

You huff, and look back up at him. “You have too much time on your hands, Pope. How’s that job-hunt coming? Or, actually, when did you last get laid? Think you need to find somewhere to direct all this excess energy.”

You should have said yes. Should have made-up an excuse about how you needed to borrow some clothes. Because it definitely is Frankie’s t-shirt.

He knows it. But if you admit it is Frankie’s t-shirt, at this point, you are admitting a whole lot more besides.

“Now now. No need to get personal.” You wish you could knock the shit-eating grin off his face. “Just answer the question.”

“This is how I wear my clothes now,” you say, gesturing down at yourself. It’s flimsy and you know it.

“Okay.”

You’re really starting to hate the way he says that.

He’s quiet for a beat, and you think he may have given up, but, to your ire, apparently not. Instead, Pope leans over the table and presses his nose right into your shoulder, taking a whiff. “Kinda smells like his detergent too.”

You pull back from him in disbelief. He recognises his detergent? “That’s fucked up, Pope. Why are you so obsessed with Frankie?”

Your comments don’t seem to rile him. Instead, Pope’s eyes flash with a sudden knowledge.

Balls. That was your second mistake. You called him “Frankie”. Not “‘Fish”. Fuck. You flare your nostrils in annoyance and only hope that Pope missed it.

“Well? Explain that. Why does it smell like... Frankie?” No chance that he missed it, then?

“Guess we use the same brand,” you dismiss, propping your chin on one of your hands as you continue to review the specials, in an attempt to obscure your face.

“Uh-huh. Okay.” You bristle. There it is again. Maybe he simply irritates all of his subjects into confessing. He’s certainly irritating enough for that to be plausible. “So, let’s recap, shall we? You dress like him now, and use his detergent? Why are you so obsessed with him?”

“He’s a role model for us all, pendejo.”

He ticks up an eyebrow, looking distinctly unimpressed by your insult.

“Pendejo?”

“And I really mean that,” you say, with a saccharine smile, even as you reach across and bat his cap from his head with a quick boop under the brim.

He half rolls his eyes at you, and yet you can tell he’s biting back a smile as he scoops it up from where it landed and places it by his side on the seat.

“So you weren’t at his place last night?”

“Nope,” you say, popping the “p” and refusing to look-up.

“Didn’t arrive together and stagger your entry to avoid being caught? Because I’m pretty sure his truck’s parked out front and yours... isn’t. And yet here you are, and here he’s not.”

Well. You don’t have an answer for that one. Not right away.

Pope grins smugly, enjoying that he’s getting under your skin.

Shit, where is Frankie? Where are the Millers? Literally anyone. Pope evidently thinks you’re the weak link while you’re alone, and you’re not doing a whole lot to prove him wrong.

“I walked here,” you say weakly.

Pope even goes so far as to dip his head under the table.

“In those boots? Don’t they kill your feet?”

Well at least he was paying attention when the boys made you walk all the way across town that time, to get to this one “must-visit” dive bar. Kinda sweet he remembered actually. Unless, of course, he simply gathers information to use it against you, during times like this, for example.

Eyes drawn away from the booth, you finally see Frankie walk through the door, and you let out a breath of relief. Still, as Pope raises a thick eyebrow at you, examining every expression on your face, you try to avoid looking at Frankie altogether, just so you don’t give anything away.

Pleasantly oblivious, Frankie comes in and settles right next to you in the booth.

“Hey,” he says brightly to the both of you, before smiling at you a little too long, and so -subtly but pointedly- you bump his knee with yours to alert him to play it a little cool. He doesn’t get the memo. Instead, he points down at your torso, without thinking. “Is that my t-shirt?”

Your eyes flutter closed to the sound of a smug, victorious laugh from Pope. Groaning, you put your head in your hands, peeking at your interrogator through your fingers. You watch him lean back in the booth, raising his arms to rest his head on his interlaced fingers, and a smug grin extending over his face.

“Fucking knew it.”

Quickly putting it together, with a gasp of breath, Frankie realises what he’s said. He quickly tries to smooth it over with some elaborate excuse, but you place your hand on his denim-clad thigh and gently shake your head. “He knows, Frankie,” you sigh. “He’s on to us. Basically interrogated me.”

There is a heated and mile-a-minute exchange between the two men in Spanish, and it sounds animated but is clearly somewhat good-natured, typical of their dynamic. Then, Frankie turns back to you. “You know how to shut him up, though?” he smiles. “Give him too much information.”

And he’s not wrong. As soon as Frankie begins to start describing a list of hypothetical activities from last night in vivid detail, Santi quickly holds his hands up in defeat. “Woah, Buddy. Alright. I get it. Fuck.”

Honestly - these two. You roll your eyes, even as you shake out a laugh.

“Hell. I need a drink,” you express, and you step away to the bar, leaving your interrogation behind for a moment.

As you look on though, it seems like poor Frankie’s interrogation is only just beginning.

“So, how long has this been happening?” Santi asks warmly.

“How long do you think?” Frankie asks out of curiosity- wanting to assess Pope’s abilities.

The man weighs it up, his hand smoothing over his stubble. “One month, give or take.”

“Three,” Frankie confirms, a hint of pride flashing in his soft, brown eyes as he realises you’ve outdone Pope, even for a little while.

In contrast though, victory is suddenly the last thing on Pope’s mind, and he’s more concerned with how damn happy his friend looks as he reveals this information. Pope mirrors Frankie’s wide, beaming smile, and he reaches across the table to deliver a few solid, congratulatory pats to his shoulder. “I’m happy for you, man.”

Frankie’s smile lingers, and he steals a sweeping glance over at you as you lean-up against the bar, his eyes shining as he takes you in.

“How’s it going between you? This a serious thing or just fucking?” Pope asks, although he could hazard a pretty safe guess.

Frankie’s hands disappear into the sleeves of his cord jacket, and his eyelashes flutter bashfully. “I’m in love, man. I’m in some deep shit.”

Santi smiles, tapping Frankie on the arm and giving him a heads-up that you’re on your way back over with the drinks.

You smile brightly at him from across the way, and Pope looks between the two of you. Frankie certainly does look like a goner, he considers.

“Plus - shit,” Frankie adds quickly, in the moment before you come back into earshot. “Seeing them in my t-shirt is Doing Things for me, man.”

“Hermano,” he chuckles. “That’s too much information.”

You arrive back to the table to the sound of Frankie’s delightfully throaty chuckle - your second favourite sound in the world (since hooking-up, you have found one noise he makes which is even better). As you slide in beside the boys, you see the doors swing as the Millers enter the establishment in tandem.

You gaze at Frankie for a few moments, and you steal a final glance back at Pope. He’s still looking at you, but now he looks satisfied, as if he’s put a final piece of the puzzle together.

You don’t know it, but Pope’s suddenly deeply happy for his friends. He has the final piece of information, and to him, it’s quite plain to see. You’re clearly in love; and you’re evidently a complete goner for Frankie too.

“Hey, Millers- did you know these two are hooking-up in secret?” Pope asks loudly as the brothers join you around the table.

Well - he’s got it partly right. You are hooking-up, but it obviously isn’t a secret anymore.

You could care less.

When Frankie takes your hand under the table, giving it a little squeeze, you can’t help the smile which lights your face. Suddenly, you can’t help wanting to tell the whole world that Frankie is your man. And, what better people to begin with than your squad?

#Frankie Morales x reader #Frankie Morales #Pedro Pascal #triple frontier #frankie catfish morales x reader

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untouchabyeolman · 3 years

Text

DFTF & the gist of everything; a theory

(warning: long post, no cut)

*cracks knuckles* OKAY. so i’m about to give my two cents on the theories surrounding the comeback but this is gonna be a long one so strap in and enjoy the ride i guess??

but before i get started on the DFTF stuff i just want to do a bit of recap on the members’ powers and their counterparts back in mama era (yes i’m going all the way back bear with me). from the beginning, we are shown that each member has a special power and those from exo-k have a counterpart in exo-m and the pairings went like this:

xiumin (frost) - suho (water manipulation)

luhan (telekinesis) - kai (teleportation)

kris (dragon’s flight) - chanyeol (phoenix’s fire)

lay (healing) - baekhyun (light)

chen (lightning) - kyungsoo (enhanced strength/earth?)

tao (time control) - sehun (wind manipulation)

i think these parings are fine but for me a couple of changes could have been made to make more sense to their powers. in my opinion, i think it should be:

xiumin - suho

luhan - sehun

kris - chanyeol

lay - baekhyun

chen - kyungsoo

tao - kai

obviously, xiumin/suho make sense bc their powers are related to each other where suho’s is the foundation of xiumin’s more refined control of the element. kris/chanyeol also makes sense for the same reason. for lay/baekhyun, healing powers can reconstruct damages from wounds and even bring dying flowers (maybe even people) back to their full health. basically, lay restores a living thing’s energy. but light is a form of energy too. flowers need light to survive and so does the rest of the planet for that matter. but i think baekhyun uses that light to be able to concentrate the energy into his hands to form a beam powerful enough to blast anything in its path (who are u? tony stark??).

tbh, i’m still kind of unclear about ksoo’s power on whether he can actually manipulate earth (like an earthbender) or if he has enhanced strength. either way, he can shake the earth and obviously he’s more powerful on the ground. with lightning, it can travel three ways: cloud to cloud, cloud to air, and cloud to the ground. you can think of their powers as being related by how the fissures in earthquakes are similar to the patterns of lightning. kyungsoo causes the rumbling in the earth, while chen causes rumbling (thunder) in the sky (hence why they are parallels of each other in mama mv)

for those i think should be switched, we’ll start with luhan/sehun. sehun has the power of wind but throughout the history of their powers i don’t think we’ve actually seen him have full control of his ability? in mama, he’s in the desert (this is gonna come up again later!!) with a raging tornado behind him. i mean, i guess he could be doing that intentionally but for the sake of this entry i’m going to assume he can summon the wind but he can’t fully control it. meanwhile, luhan can easily manipulate objects and we could think of this as him just actually manipulating the air around that object. luhan’s control of the air is more stable whilst sehun’s is the opposite.

for tao/kai i think it makes more sense for them to be counterparts since kai travels through space and while tao’s power is to stop/start time, he has the to potential to travel through time as well. these two go hand in hand because if they’re together, they’d be even stronger as traveling through time could be faulty since the time you might want to go back or forward to isn’t going to be in the same exact location as you are now.

BUT WAIT! we’re left with 9 members so what happens now??

i actually made a “theory” about exo having new counterparts back in 2016 but i’m scrapping the main idea from it and will just be referring to particular points going forward. so for now, let’s go with the assumption that their counterparts are as they are in my version. this means that sehun, chanyeol, and kai no longer have their counterparts. now what?

let’s first make two assumptions:

their powers become stronger when they are with their counterparts: like i’ve mentioned above, they’re stronger together than they are apart. but additionally, it’s a bit safer for them to be separated since they are much more easily located by the red force if they are all in one place.

if one loses their counterpart (i mean for good and not just separated by distance) then eventually, the power of the one who was lost will manifest itself in the one who is left

for (2), it would make sense then as to why in sehun’s pathcode teaser, he finds the toys floating in mid-air. at this point, he’s unaware that he’s actually the one doing this. (@raven-rin points out the similarities between luhan’s scene in mama with the orbs and sehun’s “planet” in the DFTF teaser photo which supports my theory that they are connected in this way).

in chanyeol’s pathcode teaser, he seems to have lost some control of his power whereas in mama mv, he was able to keep a small flame in his hand under control.

for kai, we’ve mainly see him teleporting on earth and he’s had quite a good control on his power since the beginning. but i think now, with tao’s power manifesting itself in him, he’s now able to teleport beyond just earth. we can take his mmmh mv for example too where he’s teleporting between worlds and currently, his power symbol is that of a hexagon with a keyhole in the center; he is the door between worlds and the main connection between the others.

SO THE POINT TO ALL THIS IS there was a theory posted by @vampwrrr and pointed out by @loeyarc on twitter about how the members are not in their own planets but they actually landed in someone else’s. i think this could be true since xiumin is in a planet with aurora’s (baekhyun’s planet), kyungsoo is in a red planet that could possibly be chanyeol’s. kai’s might be in kyungsoo’s and baekhyun’s in a planet where there’s ice which could mean he’s in xiumin’s planet. i’m not sure about the power swapping (tho i absolutely love the idea) but i think they might have just landed in planets they were closest to.

but i want to point out how chanyeol is in a planet that looks like a desert

now, this could actually be sehun’s planet in parallel to where he was in mama. sehun, on the other hand, is actually in luhan’s planet (going back to the reference @raven-rin made).

i think here, he’ll finally realize why his powers have been glitching (from pathcode) and how he now has the ability to move objects like luhan did (disclaimer 1: since not all members are present for this comeback, who’s to say they can only land in the planets of the active members’ planets??. disclaimer 2: not saying luhan is still member, he clearly isn’t. i meant for members who are enl*sted. for all we know, one or two of those planets could be chen’s or lay’s, etc.)

idk if DFTF is a pre-quel to power or a follow up but *if* the latter was the case, then the end of power makes sense. throughout the mv, we see suho, xiumin, kai, chen, chanyeol, sehun, and kyungsoo fighting the giant red force robot in possibly a different planet (i’m thinking the exos actually banded together to track down the red force themselves to get their powers back and in every planet they encounter these RF bots who keep destroying the planets they occupy) but for most it, baekhyun isn’t there fighting with them. he does show up near the end which confirms that he’s in the same place as the others but why isn’t he fighting?

let’s recall that their powers are stronger when they’re with their counterparts. if we go by the theory from lucky one that some members lost their powers, then it makes sense why none of them were able to fight off the bot with their powers alone (which they regained by defeating it in the end). i do think they are still strong at this point but their powers are weak. as for baekhyun, his counterpart is far away. lay hasn’t really been with them since monster era so he was probably playing it safe by not actively fighting alongside the others. (if he’s powerless and separated from lay then he’s the most vulnerable compared to the others)

at the end of power, we see baekhyun falling into the water/ocean. how did this happen? if exo left the planet they were in in power, it’s possible that after defeating the bot, it triggered the red force of their location. the red force then proceeds to destroy that planet in an attempt to kill exo once and for all

(disclaimer 3: screencap is meant to show an example, not that this is exactly in the same timeline as power)

but the exos manage to escape in their ship in time but their ship malfunctions (could be hit by debris from the planet’s explosion) and they have no choice but to leave the ship. i think their ship has “escape pods” meant for each one of them as a way to escape safely in case of an emergency. but let’s say these pods will immediately head for the planet they were set to (again, kind of like a safety protocol type thing where they get sent to different locations to avoid detection from the red force). to add, say that in the chaos, the exos just went into whatever pod they got to first which is how they end up landing in different planets.

maybe something happens to baekhyun’s pod and he has to manually eject himself from it. but we see he lands in the middle of an ocean

and in his DFTF photo teaser, we see he’s in a planet with ice caps and water

you still with me? i’m about to tie everything together and finish i promise!

remember the second assumption we made? “the power of the one who was lost will manifest itself in the one who is left”. what if the red force know this? what if the reason they’ve been after exo is because of this fact? but if that were the case, where would the powers manifest in if the exos are gone? i know the lot of us skip the intro of mama but it states that an eye of red force “coveted the heart of the tree of life and the heart slowly grew dry” which meant that the tree of life is the source of the twelve force’s powers.

everything started with the tree of life and in an attempt to save its remaining powers, they split it in half and hid the halves from the red force. the power of the tree of life is what connects exo. but as mentioned, if one is lost, the power will continue to live inside another. if the red force destroys all of exo, the powers they possess will be returned to the tree of life and if the tree of life is whole again, the red force will in no doubt abuse its power and continue their plans from the very beginning.

then we can say that in lucky one, it was another tactic used by the red force to extract their powers. those extracted powers were then used to create x-exo. since x-exo are under the red force’s orders, if they manage to destroy exo, their powers will undoubtedly go to their x-counterparts. but as the red force control’s x-exo they still have the upper hand once this plan is set in stone. i mention this to get us back on the current timeline seeing as DFTF may be strongly connected to power which precedes obsession. but then again, i’m not even sure about the exact order of the timeline but this is just my theory so it’s just for fun!

/end.

#don't fight the feeling #exo #exo theory #baekhyun #yixing #kai #chanyeol #sehun #kyungsoo #suho #xiumin #chen #mypost

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP Recap (March 16/2021) - Worst Day

“May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.”

—-

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Ranboo

Quackity

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

—-

- Foolish continues work on the mansion.

- Ranboo goes mining and talks about his ARG plans while getting chat to gamble. It’s the calm before the storm.

---

WORST DAY.

---

- Quackity’s stream opens with a shot of Schlatt’s Grave. The sound of a chest opening can be heard.

“Alex...you know, you and I? You know I wouldn’t do anything disadvantageous...”

Chapter One.

- Quackity climbs up to the roof of Punz’s tower, where he comes face to face with Bad.

Bad: "You keep getting in my way, Quackity...”

- Quackity asks why Bad brought him up here. He tells Bad he’s just an asset to the Egg. Bad replies that he’s not just an asset -- he’s serving a purpose Quackity could never understand.

Bad: “You call it the Egg...that’s just the surface. That’s just what you think it is. It is so much more than that. It is something you cannot even comprehend.”

- Quackity asks if all Bad is is an “asset to power.”

Quackity: “You don’t know what power is, Bad, then that’s your issue. That’s why I’m getting in your way. It’s ‘cause I know the ins and outs of business, I know the ins and outs of power. And I’m sorry that’s something you’re never gonna understand yourself.”

- Quackity tells Bad to not waste his time. Bad replies that he called Quackity to tell him to stay out of his way.

- Quackity then says he can show Bad what he’s been working on: real power.

- A cutscene shows Quackity and Bad riding off into the distance, making their way to:

Las Nevadas.

Chapter Two.

- At his cow farm, Quackity finds a book in the chest, wondering who put it there. It gives instructions to follow a railway track above.

“You had the fattest ass in my cabinet.”

- Quackity follows the line down into a cave where Glatt is waiting for him. It’s...a gym? The Big Man Gym.

- Austin from Austinshow is a dead guy with Glatt.

- He can’t go upstairs or else his skin starts falling off, so he stays down in the gym with his dad.

- Wilbur goes to the gym every day in his beanie.

- Tommy also came down to the gym.

- The dead all come down to the gym to lift weights.

- Quackity asks who else is up there. Glatt says he just wants to reconnect with Quackity.

- Glatt has apparently been learning Spanish.

- Mexican Dream also comes down to the gym. Neither Quackity nor Glatt know who he is and Quackity asks if Dream’s been visiting. He hasn’t helped Glatt learn Spanish.

- Quackity tells Glatt he hates seeing him, so he’ll give him five minutes.

- Glatt gives Quackity a preposition: He wants to escape the confines of the gym and wants to be revived. He knows of a thing that exists that could help him: a book.

- The green guy who comes down to the gym sometimes has this book.

- Quackity tells Glatt he has a business venture, and is willing to offer him a bet:

If Quackity loses, he goes to Dream and gets the revive book and gives it to Glatt to use. If Quackity wins, Glatt never gets revived and works for Quackity forever.

They agree on the bet and start walking, Quackity asking Glatt about his other adventures...

Chapter Three.

- It’s raining. Quackity is standing outside Bee ‘n’ Boo as Sam walks up to him. He apologizes for calling Sam in on short notice.

- They head into the Big Innit Hotel, and Quackity tells Sam it’s time for him to visit Dream.

- Sam is hesitant. The last visit didn’t go well.

- Quackity says that there are issues with the prison, and that’s that Tommy died in there, and as Sam’s business partner, he wants to know Sam is reliable.

- Sam replies that his job isn’t to keep the visitors alive, but to keep Dream there.

- Quackity asks, even though Sam has Dream locked up, what stopped him from killing Tommy? Nothing.

Quackity: “He has power, Sam. He still has power. Why haven’t we killed him?”

Sam: “We can’t kill him, Quackity, he’s the only one who can bring people back to life. It’s the whole reason we put him in the prison in the first place.”

- Quackity suggests, then, that they go in, take the book from Dream and then they won’t need Dream anymore.

- Sam points out that he’ll refuse to give anyone the book, since Dream knows that’s the only reason they’re keeping him alive.

- Quackity asks that he at least be allowed to try.

- Sam says it’s not that he doesn’t trust Quackity, it’s that he doesn’t trust Dream. But, as Quackity points out, that’s the safety issue.

- Sam still doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Quackity starts backing away from the hotel slowly.

Quackity: “So how am I supposed to rely on you for any business opportunities, when you won’t even grant me one simple visit?”

Sam: “What is that supposed to -- I assume you’ve seen the work Awesamdude Constructions has done in Las Nevadas?”

Quackity: “Yeah, but Sam, that’s...You’re good at what you do, you’re just not cooperating though. That’s what I need from a business partner, cooperation.”

- Quackity has an idea. He places two item frames on the wall with an axe and a sword and asks to bring them in with him. That’s all he needs to get the last bit of power Dream has.

- Sam is still doubting, but Quackity brings up Tommy’s death, asking if Sam is going to let Dream get away with it. He assures Sam that he won’t kill Dream, just talk with him.

Quackity: “Sam, there’s an underlying safety issue, he killed Tommy. Do you really have any control of him right now? Is there any control you have over him right now, Sam? I can fix that, I can fix that! All you gotta do is let me in and bring these two in.”

- Quackity assures Sam that he knows what he’s doing and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get that book.

- Sam finally agrees, and they walk over to Pandora’s Vault. They enter the prison and Sam asks Quackity the entry questions:

“When’s the last time you visited the prison?”

“This is my first time. I’ve never visited the prison before.”

“Where is your place of residence located?”

“Las Nevadas.”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves to be locked up?”

“No doubt about it, of course I do.”

“What are all your prior relations with the prisoner?”

“We don’t get along, I’ll leave it at that.”

- Quackity seals the waiver book without signing it.

- They go through the security measures and Quackity does the same with the other waivers.

- They make it to the lava wall. Sam gives Quackity some food.

Sam: “The tools you have are whatever, but...if you’re gonna do this Big Q, do it right.”

- Sam throws Quackity shears, Warden’s Will, Warden’s Hammer and some item frames. He tells Quackity to not hold anything in his hand.

- The lava lowers, Quackity crosses on the bridge and comes face to face with Dream.

- Quackity asks Dream how it feels to be in there. Must feel bad.

- He brings up what Dream did to Tommy. Dream asks what people think about it. Did they think it was cool? What were they saying?

Quackity: “What matters is the very concept of it. You have a book that can bring people back.”

Dream: “And now people will believe me!”

Quackity: “Yeah...I know you have that book, Dream. Everyone at this point knows you have that book.”

Dream: “Yeah! That’s good!”

Quackity: “I mean, depends on the eyes of who you see it.”

Dream: “Well, I mean...it’s good for me.”

- Quackity tells Dream that he wants -- needs the book.

- Dream tells him that he burnt the book. Now it’s just knowledge in his head.

Dream: “I’m the book.”

- Quackity asks him to tell him what he knows, or else. He puts up the item frames on the wall and puts Warden’s Will in one of them.

Dream: “How did you -- “

Quackity: “I’m asking the nice way, Dream, and you didn’t want to tell me.”

Dream: “You’re not gonna kill me.”

Quackity: “I”m not gonna kill you, but --”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “I’m gonna make your last days in this fucking prison hell, Dream.”

Dream: “SAM! HOW DID YOU -- “

Quackity: “Don’t fucking touch me man, alright? It’s simple, Dream, alright? You’re gonna tell me all the knowledge you have in that fuckin’ book or I’m gonna come here every. Single. Fucking. Day. To make your life hell. That is exactly what I’m gonna fucking do, and I”m gonna stick to it until you give me that fucking book.”

Dream: “I’m not gonna tell you anything!”

Quackity: “You have no other choice. If you want me here every fucking day, then you’re gonna give me the fucking knowledge on the book. I’m not fucking around, Dream, you’re gonna tell me!”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “You can scream for Sam all you want, Dream.”

Dream: “How -- there’s no way -- How did you sneak it in?!”

Quackity: “Alright, alright, you know what? There’s been enough talking. There’s been enough talking, Dream. You’re gonna tell me, or we’re gonna do this the fucking hard way for as long as we need to do it.”

- The screen fades to black.

- Quackity walks to the El Rapids poster, his clothes splattered with blood. One by one, he takes down the faces of Sapnap, George and Karl. He leaves his intact.

- As Quackity goes to the peak of El Rapids and begins to take it apart, voices can be heard in the background.

...

Quackity: “This means nothing, George, this means nothing in comparison...to a challenge to power.”

“At the end of the day, what this is is a new beginning, okay? This is a new beginning for the country El Rapids. Ready? Let’s just hit each other at the same time, ready?”

“Three...”

“Two...”

“One...”

“Yeah!”

Sapnap: “I wanna fight Dream.”

Quackity: “Step by step, Sapnap, step by step. We’ll get there someday.”

Ghostbur: “What is Mexican L’manburg?”

Quackity: “Mexican L’manburg was a little place we made next to L’manburg, to kind of commemorate...”

“It’s time to say goodbye and rename it to El Rapids, baby! Have you heard of Cedar Rapids, Ghostbur?”

Ghostbur: “Yes, I’m just chilling there! Most of the time.”

Quackity: “YES!”

...

- Quackity removes his face from the picture.

- There’s a final shot of Quackity from the back, looking at the picture...

It cuts to live-action as Quackity crumples the shot into paper, puts down a whiteboard calendar with all the days marked “Visit Dream,” crosses off the first and throws his briefcase down, spilling its contents of poker chips and a pair of scissors.

- End of stream.

---

- Bad gets a pet horse named Pebbles!

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #prison arc #tw torture #long posts

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whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years

Text

Long Nights - part 4

Neil x Reader

Chapter 4: World gone mad

(see chapter 3, 2, 1)

summary: inverted heist calls for inverted training

warnings: 18+, explicit language, gun mention, crackheadery, and possible whiplash

author’s note: Hi, yes, I know, took me ages, but hey, I hope it's worth the wait! 5.2k words, how even--

Anyway.

The song for this part is Bastille - World Gone Mad

Enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @mellifluous-cosmos @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

-----

The fact that you knew how to handle guns wasn’t equal to you being very good at it. Or enjoying it, for that matter. Sure, you could more or less hit the target, especially with some useful tips you got from Neil regarding a trigger finger discipline, but still - you’d rather avoid reaching for a pistol altogether.

You put back the weapon you’d been training with and Neil handed you another one. You couldn’t really tell the difference, at least until you checked the magazine. The lack of ammo meant you finally got to the fun bit that Neil teased in The Protagonist’s office and you smiled, looking back at your companion. He grinned at you, the gaze sparkling behind yellow-tinted safety glasses as he pointed at the wall next to the targets you used for practice.

“Just aim and pull the trigger. ” Seeing your nod, he added, “Okay now, be careful, it might feel--”

The bullet whizzed back into the chamber of your pistol and your eyes widened.

“Oh fuck me sideways,” you hissed under your breath.

“-- a bit weird, yeah.” Neil chuckled at the shock painted on your face. “All right?”

“Yeah, just processing.” Trying to blink the consternation away, you asked, “How do you make these? You put it into that...turnstile and voilà?”

Neil shook his head. “No, it’s not that simple. We receive a stash every now and then, we don’t know how to manufacture those,” - he smirked - “at least not yet. I do have a few theories I’m working on in my spare time, but...” hesitating for a moment, he raked a hand through his hair and sent you a nervous smile. “Wouldn’t want to bore you to death, though.”

“Dude, come on, with that smooth and soothing voice of yours? You could read the yellow pages to me and I’d still listen like that--” you mocked a dreamy heart-eyes expression, watching with satisfaction as that remark pushed Neil further into a flustered state.

Apparently, when explicit teasing got a little-to-no reaction now, you could still make him blush with a more wholesome compliment. As you started laughing, he rolled his eyes and scrunched the nose slightly, joining you with a stifled giggle. Grinning, you continued a little softer, “I’m not gonna lie - I probably wouldn’t understand a majority of the physics jargon, but I’d still want to hear all about that.”

A thankful look you got in return made your chest clench painfully, and your mind wandered off to those breaks near the river, and Neil’s animated rants. You knew one thing. Anyone who had ever ridiculed him for his passion for even the nerdiest things could rot in hell, and you’d gladly see to it personally.

A disgruntled huff coming from behind made you both snap out of the moment.

“Oi, lovebirds, I’d appreciate it if you could leave all that to after I prep you for the mission.”

Bottling down your annoyance, you batted your lashes at the commander, who’d just come back with keys to one of the conference rooms near the range.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, you have my full attention now.”

Ives nodded, waving at you to follow him. Meanwhile, Neil’s small smirk let you know that he noticed that faint undertone in your voice, but he said nothing, patiently waiting for the events to unfold.

Another person was waiting for you at the door. You recognized the woman who’d driven you to that abandoned factory on your very first day - you’d never gotten properly introduced, but you remember asking Neil about her once and he called her Wheeler. To be honest, with these guys you never knew if they used their real names, nicknames, codenames, or whatever. Not that you cared, quite used to it in your own line of business. You exchanged a court nod with her and went into the room.

As you sat down at the big table and Ives booted a projector, your eyes bore into the man. Definitely one of those types who enjoyed his beret and the paramilitary structure of the field branch of the organization. Probably a bit too much. You bit back a smug grin.

Those were particularly fun to mess with.

Ives caught your piercing stare and stopped the brief of the location.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you said, propping the chin on your palm, a polite smile on your lips. “It’s fascinating.”

He furrowed his brows, perplexed.

“What is?”

“How your commanding presence literally adds you inches,” you said, using all your willpower to keep a serious face. “I wonder if it works only for your height or--”

Neil’d futile attempts at masking an amused snort with a cough didn’t go unnoticed. Ives shot him daggers and then glared at you. “For fuck’s sake, would you focus?”

Your eyes flared up at the threat in his voice and you pouted, taunting him further.

“Or what, you’re gonna spank me?”

“No, I’m gonna shoot you,” he deadpanned.

You raised a brow.

“Kinky.”

Ives groaned, turning to Neil.

“How you survived this long without choking her is beyond me.”

Neil puffed his cheeks and gestured vaguely, but as he opened the mouth to answer, you chimed in, with a shit-eating grin plastered on your face.

“Oh, he very much did so, all right.”

The awkward silence that followed was pretty satisfying.

“Can we keep her?” asked Wheeler casually, leaned back in her chair, fiddling with a bullpen.

Ives gaped at you all, then slumped his shoulders in defeat, sliding a hand through his features. He was so done you could almost hear The Sound of Silence playing in the distance, but apparently, his sense of duty was stronger than the urge to leave you without finishing the briefing, so he just drew a deep breath and continued.

“...anyway…”

You caught Neil’s glance and you couldn’t help but poke the tip of your tongue out at him. The mischievous sparks in his eyes reflected your own as he shook his head, tugging the bottom lip between the teeth. Wheeler’s curious gaze flitted between you two, and as you didn’t feel like drawing too much unnecessary attention to yourself anymore, you focused on the plan that Ives was persistently going through.

Time frames. Blueprints. Entry points. Exit routes (you spotted at least one additional way he left out, but you weren’t sure if you could drag Neil through there, judging by that alley performance, so you didn’t bother to mention it out loud). Everything seemed clear enough. You still had no idea how being inverted would affect the lockpicking, but when you voiced that, Ives promised you some time to figure it out before the mission.

The mission. Huh. It wasn’t that much different from your usual assignments - at least if you forgot about that tiny insignificant detail like moving backwards in time - but something in this paramilitary and/or espionage vibe made your heart beat faster with excitement.

It had been quite a long time since you had company at the job. Working alone had its perks, but you wouldn’t mind a trusted partner in crime having your six for a change.

Another thing that you certainly wouldn’t mind - seeing Neil in tactical gear. Not that either of you would need one, but the image got planted in your head and suddenly you wished you’d had a bottle of water.

You realized that everyone was looking at you expectantly. Shit, was there a question or…?

“I’m good,” you said, shooting in the dark, hoping that would be enough to cover your distracted ass.

Ives squinted, but fortunately, that was an acceptable answer.

“Well, as you two can proceed straight from here - Wheeler, they’re all yours.’

“Okay,” - she smiled and stood up - “we don’t have any turnstiles on-site, but there’s one in the base outside the city, I’ll talk you through the basics on the way.”

So that little daydream cost you a chance to come back home to prepare? Grand. The problem was - you needed your heavy-duty tools, but you’d rather eat rocks than back away in front of Ives. Luckily, he called on Neil to wait for a moment, so that was your chance.

“Umm, Wheeler?” you asked quietly, following her outside.

She glanced at you curiously.

“What’s up?”

“I know I said I’m good, but could we stop by my apartment for a second, please?” An awkward grimace ran through your face. “I gotta pick up my tools. You know, just in case.”

She wasn’t surprised by your request. Moreover, she sent you a knowing smile.

“Sure thing,” she said and winked, and then it was your turn to present a slightly flushed face. “I’ve got you.”

----

You didn’t know what to expect from the whole inversion process.

The first time your brain stuttered was when Wheeler pointed at something she called the proving window, just in time for you to see the three of you coming out on the other side. You caught inverted-you glancing back at your present self; the schooled expression, but with the gaze shining with anticipation.

The second time was when it was you on the other side, looking at your wide-eyed past self. Feeling the incoming headache, you took a deep breath and followed Wheeler and Neil to the stand with oxygen masks.

“How are you feeling?” asked Neil, handing you the equipment.

“Weirdly normal.” You shrugged. “Or maybe not more backwards than usual, if that makes any sense.”

He smiled lightly.

“It’s the airlock. When you see the outside, you’ll get a whole new perspective.”

Wheeler nodded. “What he said. And to recap: you’re inverted, the world is not - all forces will be pushing back on you. Besides gravity.” She double-checked the oxygen bottle secured to your belt. “Just mind things that might be rising instead of falling.”

You furrowed the brows.

“Wait, didn’t Ives mention the rain?”

Neil smirked from behind the mask.

“Afraid of getting wet?”

“Never.” You grinned, meeting the sparkling blue eyes. “Should know that by now.”

Wheeler snorted and shook her head, walking to the panel near the exit.

“You’ll have plenty of time to finish the job before you move far enough to catch up on that. Although, if you ever find yourself in the inverted rain, here’s a tip: pop your collar.”

“Why would you--” Oh. The sole thought of the water going up from the ground to the sky made you nauseous. You swallowed with effort, leveling your breath in the mask. “...right.”

Wheeler opened the door and you almost gasped at the view. The golden rays of sunset (...or was it technically a sunrise now?) flickered on the training grounds’ equipment as the sky painted the scarce pools of muddy water with greyish violets and reddening oranges. Leaves shuffled in the wind, their dance almost satirical with that inverted spin.

Wheeler’s voice stopped your mind from wandering further into the landscape.

“Okay, ready? Ives asked me to remind you not to try any cowboy shit, you need to be in one piece at the end of the training.”

“Yes ma’am,” you mocked a salute and stepped outside, stretching your limbs, readjusting to the reality being slightly off. Neil stood right beside you watching you warming up, ready to take you to the obstacles section.

But as soon as the airlock’s doors closed behind you, you spun around, tapping his shoulder - “Tag, you’re it!” - and without waiting for his reaction, you leaped towards the assault course.

Surely that turned out overly optimistic. You counted on the element of surprise and a head start, but Neil had an experience with running while being inverted, while you… well. You tried.

“B+ for effort,” laughed Neil, catching up on you even before you reached the first obstacle and tapping you back. “But you can do better than that.”

“Just you wait!” you retorted and vaulted over a low hurdle, the mild confusion caused by the dumbfounded senses slowly eased up as you tuned out the brain and let the muscle memory guide your movements. Because hey, in the end? Yes, the natural forces were acting up against you. Yes, Neil had years of inverted training behind him. But you’d been challenging different obstacles your whole life, and courses like this one were your favourite playgrounds.

You caught on him by the next wall, playing dirty and tugging at his leg, pulling him down before he could jump to the other side. The exasperated huff he gave you in protest got lost in the squelch of mud under your feet, the sound more like a suction instead of the much-expected splash. Shuddering with disgust at such abomination, you rushed to the set of monkey bars, hearing Neil following up closely. You gritted your teeth, swinging your body to help yourself get through the part, and that’s when you felt a light tap on your foot.

You glared to your left, where Neil was gaining an advantage over you.

“Damn you and your infinite legs, man! It doesn’t count!”

“Losing looks good on you,” he said, landing and then instantly ducking under your reached out hand.

“Too bad it’s not gonna stick,” you scoffed as you ran after him to jump on one of the parallel logs. Balancing was easy enough, even with inversion; it gave you the perfect opportunity to plan ahead, while Neil had to maintain full focus. “Must say - all that sass definitely makes you like... ten percent hotter.”

But you’d taught him well, apparently, and instead of losing his pace, he only shot you a quick glance accompanied by an arched brow.

“Only ten?”

“Dunno, come over here and let me take a closer look,” you teased, getting a short chuckle in response. “No?” - you sighed - “Alrighty then.” And you leaped to the side straight into Neil, pushing him off the log. He yelped and grabbed you by the shirt, the momentum sending you both straight into the mud. You landed on top of Neil, collapsing into his arms for a moment to catch a breath and to stop laughing.

You leaned back to look him in the eyes.

“Okay, maaaybe fifteen,” you panted, booping his mask as you would do to his nose.

Neil snickered and nodded.

“I’ll take it.”

When your gazes met, his features softened, and he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear gently. You smiled behind the mask and sat up, straddling his waist. Neil was studying you closely, his hands grazed your sides and rested on your hips. Nibbling at your bottom lip, you leaned over him again and slowly reached out, and--

“Simba…” you choked out with reverence, brushing a muddy thumb across his forehead.

Tears from the held-back laughter threatened to spill any second as you observed Neil blanking out in utter confusion. The five stages of grief ran through his expression and then he closed his eyes and sighed theatrically.

“The fate of the world is in the hands of a complete madwoman.”

...the what now?

You tilted your head, grinning.

“Aren’t you a little dramatic?”

Then, without a warning, Neil shifted under you, rolling you off him and pinning you down.

“Birds of a feather and all that,” he said, clearly enjoying the way you squealed and squirmed as the mud got under your shirt. “You think you got a hang of the inverted movement already?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. Neil realized your intentions a second too late. A handful of mud splashed on his face and you chuckled with satisfaction. “Yeah, now I think I’m ready to go.”

You turned up at the airlock soon after, looking like something that cat dragged in, but beaming widely. Dreaming of a hot shower and a clean set of clothes, you put down the mask and the oxygen container and headed to the turnstile.

Wheeler was waiting for you near the machine, and seeing the state you were in, she just gaped at you both, trying to come up with an adequate question.

As you noticed her quizzical look, you gave her a thumbs up and smiled.

“If you ain't dirty, you ain't here to party! Wooo!” you whooped, throwing your hands up and trotting past her straight into the turnstile.

Right before reverting yourself back to your original state, you heard Wheeler’s hushed question.

“You two all right?”

And then Neil’s answer.

“Don’t worry, we’re good.”

--------

The truck’s engine hummed steadily, which could only mean you were on some sort of highway. At least the container stopped wobbling, so you could practice in peace.

No wobbles meant no excuses, though. You sighed, readjusting your grip on the tools.

Neil had fallen asleep some time ago, after making sure you figured out the locks and hearing your solemn promise that you would follow him soon.

One day after that eventful night, then inverting and going straight back without proper sleep. You knew he was right and you needed at least a nap. But you couldn’t. Not before you were absolutely sure you got it. The usual locks weren’t that bad. The inverted ones were a whole other story.

It’d taken you long enough to crack them in the safety of your own apartment, without the weird physics, ever-present even within the air-locked container. Without the pressure.

The fate of the world.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

You didn’t even know what was that thing you were supposed to retrieve soon. It was okay, you didn’t need to. It was a quite common situation in your work history. That kind of knowledge could be dangerous, after all.

The pin clicked and you sighed again, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the burning sensation even for a moment.

Besides, you were doing it for Neil. The memory of that panicked look on his face when he’d seen the documents was enough to keep you going.

But did he have to say that?

You had to do it. Not only because you felt responsible for him, in a way. What you’d told the boss was true and you weren’t the only one at fault for Neil not being fully ready for that assignment. He was your friend, wasn’t he? And there was no way you’d leave a friend in need.

You pressed your lips together, forcing yourself to breathe.

Probably a stupid joke, nothing more.

But what if he was being serious? What if that thing out there was really that important? And you were about to fuck everything up because you couldn’t get your shit together fast enough to figure out the bloody inverted mechanism again. And with every minute wasted and not spent on resting there was a higher chance of messing up at the actual location.

Hell of a locksmith you were, huh?

The feedback from the tools came with a final warning like a sobering slap. If you were to continue, they would snap any second now.

You let out a shaky breath and retraced from the lock, hiding your face in the palms.

A gentle touch on your shoulder almost made you flinch. Of course, he had to wake up in the middle of your breakdown.

“Go back to sleep, we still have a few hours left,” you muttered into your hands, trying to collect yourself.

“Not before you talk to me,” said Neil as his fingers slid down your arm. He was crouching right beside you, the blue eyes boring into you with concern. “What is it?”

You sighed and shifted in your seat to face him.

“Wanna make sure I got it, that’s all.”

Neil’s brows knitted together.

“But I saw you open that lock once, why--”

“Once! And that’s exactly the problem!” you fumed and glared at the table. “I can’t crack it again, I--” your voice wavered and you gritted the teeth in frustration. “What if it was a stroke of dumb luck? Should I start praying for another one to happen there?”

Another delicate touch, this time on your knees, was enough to make you look back at Neil. A shade of smile tainted his lips as he searched your gaze.

“Someone used to tell me all the time that if you did it once, you can do it again.”

You hung your head and huffed, “Maybe that someone was full of shit.’

“I know for a fact that she wasn’t,” he chuckled, taking the tools out of your clenched fists and putting them back at the table. “She was utterly brilliant,” he continued, reaching for your cramping, trembling hands and taking them in his, ”and always reminded me to take a break instead of agonizing over a stubborn lock.”

That you did, all right. Your laugh sounded awfully close to a sob. God, if you weren’t exhausted.

Mustering enough strength to look him in the eyes, you squeezed his hands, trying to convey all the gratitude in the gesture. And hide that bit of embarrassment, too.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said and his thumbs brushed over your knuckles. “Scoot over.”

You moved back on the provisional bench, making enough space for him to sit next to you. And so he did, not letting go of your hands even for a second. He started rubbing small circles into them and you grunted softly. Neil gave you a knowing smile and soon enough, his fingers glided between your forearms and fingertips, applying pressure to the tensest places, careful strokes and precise moves bringing a much-needed release. You couldn’t help small groans escaping your mouth, every one of them adding to the self-satisfied grin hiding in the corner of Neil’s mouth. But then, instead of teasing you, his features softened and you caught his glance, warm and sheepish.

“I don’t think I properly thanked you for offering to help me with this mission.”

“I couldn’t let you have all the fun,” you laughed and winced as Neil’s thumbs worked on your wrists. “Don’t thank me yet, we still need to pull it off first.”

“Well, maybe we already have, from the typical point of view,” - he pondered, lighting up - “seeing that we are moving back--”

“Neil, please, I’m all for discussing it later, but right now it’s about to give me a pounding headache.”

When you met his eyes, you noted with relief that he didn’t mind you cutting him off like that. He knew that you were tired, nothing more.

“Right, sorry.” Then he looked at you with determination, suddenly serious. “Whatever happens… thank you. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” you said quietly as your heart ached with unexpected fondness.

Neil smiled, shaking off the sentimental moment. His hands cupped yours and gave them a light squeeze.

“Now would you please get some rest?”

“Will you tuck me in?” you grinned and batted your lashes at him, earning an amused snort in return.

“I can even sing you a lullaby if that means you’ll fall asleep faster,” he said, standing up and tugging at your hand.

“Ah, I’m afraid I’m gonna crash too fast to properly appreciate it,” you giggled as he kited you all the way to the resting area at the front of the container. “But I’m definitely taking a rain check on that.”

“Sure.” One final brush of his thumb over your fingers and he let go of your hand, smirking. “Now sleep, I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

-------

Neil proved to be an excellent companion.

You disabled the alarms simultaneously, paying attention to all the possible silent traps. Forcing the main locks went smoothly, almost surprisingly so. For having something of such importance hidden there, the owners of the place seemed strangely old-fashioned; it shone through the antique decor of the lofty apartment as well as the security choices. Too easy. Tuning out an intrusive thought rattling in the back of your head, you scouted the dark rooms, careful not to leave any traces of your presence.

There.

The office you saw in the photos.

...but they’d redecorated.

“That’s one fancy safe they got there,” you said nonchalantly, eyeing the ornament piece of metal lit by your flashlight, “Too bad it somehow got left out at the briefing.”

Neil’s face dropped when he followed you inside the room.

“Christ, and what now?”

Good question. You’d worked with safes before, hell, you’d cracked a fair share of them using simply manipulation. But never going bloody backwards in time. How would that even work? Was it normal or inverted?

Well, there was only one way to find out.

“I’ve got this.” And that’s how you felt, despite the initial panic. There was a method to it, and you had most of the things you needed with you. Perks of overpreparing. The only issue was-- ... “It might take a while, though.”

Neil nodded.

“Let me know if you need anything.”

“Keep an eye on the time for me, I gotta focus,” you said, reaching into your backpack and accidentally pulling on the thin tube. Right. “...and maybe on the oxygen levels as well?”

“Will do.”

Your brain switched into the challenge mode, and your fingers tingled to give it a try. Armed with a sound amplifier and a little notepad, you sat down next to the safe and got to work.

Figuring out your way in was meant to be a hit and miss, doubly so with the goddamn inversion. But minute after minute, click by click, you determined the first contact points, and the years of experience took you from there. You scribbled numbers and variations in the notepad, fully focused on the task. Almost there.

Another combination. Inhale. Exhale. Pull.

Gotcha.

“Neil?” you called out in the hushed voice as the beam from the flashlight landed on a small metal box of a peculiar shape.

He was next to you in no time.

“That’s it,” he said, kneeling down. He reached inside and took out the box, then carefully placed it inside his backpack. The blue eyes glimmered in the dim light. “Good job!”

“Thanks,” you smiled and closed the safe. “Now let’s get out of here.”

You gathered and packed all your stuff, double-checking for any leftover signs of your entry.

Then you heard it. A faint, slightly off patter against the huge windows. You froze in place as your mind tried to grasp the view of trickles of rain coming up the glass.

Neil glanced outside, not mindful of the absolutely bonkers scene that wiped any coherent thought from your head. Although judging from how quickly his face lost all the colours, the view he got was even more disturbing.

“Christ…” he uttered, shooting you a panicked look. “We’ve got company.”

You dashed to the window to see for yourself. A group of people was crossing the empty street, moving pretty much normally, and that only meant...

Fuck.

“The owners?”

Neil shook his head. “Impossible. The third party, probably.” With his hand already on the holster, he hesitated, considering the options.

But there were only two: fight or flight. The problem was - the numbers didn’t look good for you to try pushing through the crew downstairs. And as for the second one, your initial exit routes seemed to be cut off already.

Although, there was still one path left. You almost smiled to yourself. He was not going to like it.

“Let’s go through the roofs.”

Neil’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?” he asked, scanning your face for any sign of doubt.

There was none.

“Yes, but we have to leave right now.”

He swallowed with effort and nodded.

As soon as you bolted out of the apartment and rushed up the stairs, the footsteps coming from the lower levels quickened. Time was running out.

You were about to barge outside when Neil grabbed your hand as if he sensed what was going to happen next. The doors opened and you lost the momentum, startled by the view. Heavy showers replaced the drizzle you saw through the window, intensifying the nauseating effect.

The last strands of sanity threatened to leave you, but Neil’s touch was like an anchor, grounding you and keeping you from spiraling further.

“Which way?” he shouted through the hammering, almost deafening rain.

You blinked rapidly and looked around to match the data from the brief to the actual location.

“Over there!”

Wishing you’d had a goddamn collar to pop, you leaped to the side, guiding Neil through your only escape route. You let go of his hand to vault over the vents, and just as your feet touched the surface again, you heard distant yells behind you. Shit.

The high density of the area was working in your favor, but only for so long. There was meant to be a gap between the buildings sooner or later, and one of them was coming right up. The jump was doable, even for Neil - all you needed was speed and a decent launch.

But when your companion noticed the edge of the roof, he slowed down and stopped by a low parapet wall, cursing.

“No fucking way!”

“Yes fucking way, Neil, come on! We don’t have time!” you urged him as the voices behind you grew louder.

He swallowed with effort, too transfixed on the gap. You bit back an impatient groan and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at you.

“Neil, listen to me. You can do this. All you need is a run-up.”

He didn’t seem convinced. You gritted your teeth, trying to keep your own rising panic in check.

“Do you trust me? Yes or no?”

He met your eyes and his features hardened. There.

“I do.”

And when you opened the mouth again, the first bullet whizzed past you. You flinched, but maintained the eye contact, afraid to lose Neil’s newfound confidence. “Then go first, I’m right behind you.”

Neil nodded and backed away quickly. Watching him jump, your heart skipped a beat, but he landed on the other side without too much trouble. Good. Your turn.

You dashed towards the rim and another bullet missed your legs by a hair’s breadth, hitting the parapet wall right ahead of you. A little close to the top, as you noted, jumping on it to leap across the gap.

But the realization came a moment too late. The wall crumbled under your feet.

Enough for you to not make it to the other side.

Someone screamed.

Was it you?

It didn’t matter.

The world dissolved in a flash of agonizing pain.

And darkness.

----

Static beeping. The smell of disinfectants. And your every particle throbbing in dull pain.

Somebody was having a quiet conversation nearby. The Protagonist… and Neil?

A wave of relief flooded over you. He’d made it.

Grunting, you opened your eyes and squinted, waiting for your sight to readjust to the poor light. Weird. Why would they keep you in such a pitch-black room?

“Gents?” you called out, carefully shifting upwards, wincing. “Would you mind getting the lights?”

The conversation stopped and you heard a gasp.

“Lights? But it’s the middle of the day?” said The Protagonist, but Neil cut him off.

“You’re awake!” Footsteps and a sudden touch on your hand. Neil’s voice trembled slightly, as well as his fingers. “Are you okay?”

You bored into darkness, hoping to see the familiar face.

To see anything.

To see.

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #tenet #robert pattinson #neil tenet fanfiction #tenet fanfiction #neil tenet imagine #the protagonist tenet #ives tenet #wheeler tenet #long nights

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cellard0ors · 3 years

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Fic: Made For You (3/3)

Remember this? I got it done - lol. If you'd like to read the complete story, here is the AO3 Link. As a quick recap: In response to Rhett ‘not judging’ Link for any potential mannequin actions per GMM # 2014. This final part is Link and the Rhett-equin getting *frisky*

Their kissing continues - passionate, riotous - and while a small part of Link’s mind is circled around the fact that this isn’t actually Rhett, he does his stalwart best to ignore it, because this is his chance. His one and only, and when the doppelganger pulls back and looks him in the eyes, it’s so very easy to forget. More so when he asks, “How do you want this?”

“I’m-? You-?” Link licks his lips and he looks away, heat flaring up beneath his skin in his embarrassment to confess this, even to a facsimile of the person he’s long since desired, “You, um-?” he jerks a thumb over one shoulder, “Behind me?”

Rhett nods before kissing him again and then they work together, sort of rearranging everything, stripping Link of his clothing and when Link finds himself on all fours, he lets out a shuddering breath.

It’s the kind of breath he feels as if he’s been holding in his whole life. It practically whooshes out of him, all the air in his lungs fleeing as he faces the mattress and a big, warm hand runs down his spine, “Easy, brother. Easy.”

Easy, Link lets out a shaky laugh. As if anything about this can be construed as easy. He’s about to have sex with this…being. This one who looks like Rhett and sounds like Rhett and thinking of him as Rhett makes this even more nerve wracking. Almost to a point of being unbearable. This in mind, he rubs his face against the bed and breathes, “I’m ready.”

“Not yet you’re not,” Rhett rumbles and Link hears something behind him, the opening and closing of a nearby drawer and how Rhett knows where to find his secret stash of lube, he’s not going to ask. It’s rare – extremely rare – that Link takes care of things here. The Creative House wasn’t purchased for, well, that. Or this, really.

Yet here he is.

He hears a light popping sound and then cool, gentle fingers stroke teasingly between his upturned ass cheeks. Link’s breath hitches and his hips instinctively push back. Funny that. That the instinct to move towards an intrusion is just…there. Buried within him. It probably always has been. Yet Rhett takes his time, just…working over him.

Getting his skin slick and ready, only the tip of one finger occasionally circling the rim of his entrance, lightly dipping in, but with no real intensity. It’s more of a shallow exploration and Link whimpers, toes curling as he slurs, “You can do more.”

“I can,” Rhett agrees, but he doesn’t. In fact, if Link knows anything, he knows when the sound of a smile is contained within his friend’s words and he glowers, pushing his hips back again as if waving a flag. Rhett chuckles and on his next pass, his fingertip goes deeper. It surges in up past the first knuckle and Link gasps, his dick twitching heavily beneath him.

It’s been more than half hard this entire time and now it’s beyond full mast as Rhett eases the finger out and then back in, surer this time and with greater intent. A second joins and Link lets out a tiny cry – part distress, part elation and Rhett just shushes him again, runs his free hand down along his spine again. It helps. The pain dies so fast, lost more to the flow of joy.

So much so, that when the third finger comes, when all three are working in tandem to open him up, Link’s hips are surging back and forth easily, accepting the act with eager enthusiasm, as his throat opens – allowing cries of sheer ecstasy to spill out.

He’s never heard himself like this. So high-pitched, so desperate. He feels like if Rhett doesn’t do something soon, if he doesn’t take him, he will honestly and truly die. It’s ridiculous and overdramatic beyond belief but it’s true and when Rhett withdraws his fingers Link almost wants to weep, only to be met with a soft, shaky, “Now you’re ready.”

“Yes,” Link pleads, pressing his forehead down, pushing his ass upwards and Rhett has both of his hands on Link’s hips as he draws him backward, as he lines them up. It takes very little finagling on Rhett’s part to take hold of himself and ease in, to push inside, and Link lets out more startling sounds that cross between the realms of pain and pleasure.

His body is being stretched, filled, but it – Jesus – it feels so right. And pleasure easily wins out when Rhett begins to move. Somehow, the actions of his slight withdrawal followed by a steady re-entry take the sting out of the action. Link finds his body becoming numb to it, numb to any sort of resistance and quickly turning over towards a warmed, hot heat – one that curls like molten liquid within the pit of his belly.

“Rhett,” Link’s voice warbles over the name and Rhett's hand – the one that’s been occasionally stroking his back – goes for his hair. It buries fully into it, fingers curling around both dark and silver strands alike and tugging just so and Link lets out a ragged wail, because – yeah, this isn’t going to last long. His balls feel full – drawn taunt – and he can just catch sight of his full cock lolling thickly between his legs, jutting up towards his belly.

Rhett’s thrusts have picked up their pace and there’s the lewd sound of slapping flesh and Link can feel Rhett’s hips flush against his ass cheeks – smacking into them again and again and Rhett tightens his grip on Link’s hair as he rumbles, “It’s okay, baby. Let go.”

Link does.

With a wail he cums; shooting across the mattress, his own legs, coating everything in a flood of long held release and if there’s an answering relief from Rhett, Link doesn’t feel it, too lost in his own jubilant climax to sense it. In fact, not long after, Link feels something else crash down on him. A hard and heavy wave of exhaustion. A curtain of sleep that takes him before he can think a second thought.

Link wakes up alone.

Alone and…sticky.

He sits up with a troubled grunt to see he’s in the Creative House in his room. He’s fully clothed and the Rhett-equin has been knocked to one side. He sees it there, lying on the carpet and it occurs to him that he probably knocked it over in his sleep.

…as a matter of fact, he did more than just that in his sleep, and shifting about, he knows for certain that he came in his sleep. Cursing, he falls back and throws an arm over his eyes. He hasn’t had a wet dream in…? Christ, he can’t remember the last time he had one. Much less one like this. One so extreme and…weird.

Groaning, he rolls upwards again and rises to his feet. He rights the Rhett-equin and looks in its eyes. Does he see a sparkle there? Probably not. Sighing, he runs a hand over one of its cheeks and sighs, “You give me that dream last night, big fella?”

There’s no answer, but Link pats his cheek as he murmurs, “Well, if you did. I owe you one. It was…?”

He shrugs, not sure what to say it had been. Cathartic? Insane? Stupid?

Whatever it had been, it had certainly been…something. Something enough that Link finds himself rising up on his tip toes and giving the Rhett-equin another little peck and a laugh, “Whatever. You were a good purchase, man. No other way to slice it.”

That said, Link leaves the room to go and shower.

And the Rhett-equin?

It stays there.

It stays there…with a little twinkle in its eyes.

#rhink #my writing

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gagmebucky · 4 years

Text

[steve. breeding kink. baby.]

“Wanna know what makes it worse?” Steve leans in and trails his nose along the inviting curve of your shoulder and neck until his lips are adjacent with your ear. “My sense of smell, it tells me when your body is just ripe for the taking. It’s like you’re fucking calling me every single month—begging me to put your little pussy out of your misery. . . fuck and fuck until you’re milkin’ my kid right outta me.”

in which you’re playing with a baby and steve can’t resist himself. (includes steve’s pov, avenger!steve rogers x girlfriend!reader, breeding kink, dirty talk, praise kink, mild daddy kink, unprotected sex.)

do not repost.

—

Procedure requires debriefing at the end of every mission. In this hours-long process, an agent must recap the objectives and the means used to achieve them; deviations to the original plan and why; as well as whether success was gained, and any other pertinent intel possibly acquired.

This routine is mandatory for all those working for and with an organization like S.H.I.E.L.D.; not even the Avengers are exempt from this. Except in this particular case where the titular first of the super-powered team has forgone the professional necessity, and instead, is in search of you.

Normally, America’s golden boy can handle the dangers that occur in such a violent but imperative field. He understands the risks and pressures inherent to his line of duty, and he’s always accepted it, dealt with it because the overall outcome dwarfs the bad.

On this particular assignment, however, the stakes were higher than usual and although the quick snap-quick decisions he made ultimately paid off, it didn’t soften the blow of the sacrifices made. Times like this, he has to wonder if it’s worth it.

The tension weighs on his shoulders and crackles underneath his skin; his synapses are frayed with the memory of each fallen agent, the orders he doled out preambling every one, and the electricity curls his fists and locks his jaw. It’s corrupting that logical part of his brain, and that craving for vengeance can’t be sated with his knuckles breaking a few punching bags.

In rare moments like these, when the serum is pumping through his veins like rabies, there’s one thing to straighten the edges and bring him back from the trenches. That solace is you; your alluring smile and twinkling eyes, the musical carry of your laugh, your seemingly innate ability to figure out what’s wrong and quell the turmoil cycloning inside of him.

So he doesn’t report to Fury like he’s supposed to, doesn’t go over the myriad of errors that only worsened as the mission progressed—no one stops him either.

When employees spot him marching down the corridors, stealth suit still on and rippling across his hulking mass, his strides colliding deafeningly with the floor, handsome and affable features tightened intensely, their only recourse is moved out of the way. Thankfully, they get the hint because if someone hadn’t, he knows he’d snap and do something he might regret.

His senses, formerly haywire in his manic state, have lasered into tunnel focus; his eardrums hone in on the specific sound wave of your crooning voice, and the olfactory nerves in his nostrils guide him in a trail to the source of your intoxicating essence.

Steve slams the door open and storms into the upper, restricted level of the headquarters. His hastened pace slows upon your increased dose, lulling his awareness and distance waning significantly. As his search nears its end, he recognizes where he’s at: the luxurious space designed by and created for Tony Stark.

The doors are open so he doesn’t waste time knocking (not that he possesses the patience to abide by his hundred year old manners). Upon entry, he’s taken the tranquility occupying the atmosphere and the sight of you bathed in the sun’s glow; bright rays beam through the impenetrable windowed wall of the tower while you gently rock the three month old baby perched on your shoulder, probably basking in the dual warmth of you and the star.

From afar, behind you, the brown-eyed girl’s mother stands. With her head tilted and soft gratefulness slanted into her lips, the strawberry blonde’s hip rests against the office’s wet bar and watches fondly as you effortlessly soothe her child’s fussiness into a thumb-sucking slumber.

“Aren’t they cute?” Pepper Potts remarks as he steps beside her. Her gaze maintains on his girlfriend and her daughter. “Morgan would not stop crying for the past few hours, and I did everything to calm her down. I was frazzled and at my wit’s end then I handed her off to her aunt, and now she’s as quiet as a mouse.” She pauses and spares a glance over to his adoration-fixed stare, a slyness twisting into her smile. “I don't know what stage you two are at but she’d make a great mom.”

Steve knows you occasionally babysit for the Starks, but he’s never seen you like this. You’re in your element, swaying back and forth while you hum inaudibly into the infamous delicate baby’s ear. Her small hands are curled around your neck and her face nuzzled into the crease of your shoulder, with the opposing thumb slid between her lips as her big chocolate eyes flutter into a peaceful rest.

Suddenly breathless—but it’s not from the exertion—he has to agree, nodding his head. “Y - yeah,” he answers to both statements because it’s fucking adorable, and while there’s never been a doubt about your caring nature, this cements the fact that you would be an amazing mother. The sensation boils in his gut, and his fingers twitch at his sides. “Has she always been this good with her?”

“Oh, yeah,” Pepper tells him matter-of-factly. “With her, other kids, too. She came with us to the park, and this one kid was screaming his head off and she just went over and poof! He was happy.” Her eyes are back on your slow pacing silhouette. “I would swear she was made for this. I bet she was a nanny in another life.”

His knuckles clench as her words ignite the simmering inferno of his being. Made for this, made for this, echoes in his head and he has to remind himself that he’s in public. But the primal image of you, radiating like an angel with a little piece of him growing inside you, has already carved itself in the forefront of his psyche.

Steve has never been into traditional gender roles, not even when he was in his time and it was the norm (he’s always been a very progressive thinker). But, God, he can’t deny the appeal now that he has you. There’s something so primally satisfying about having you at home, free of any worries that aren’t about your family, potentially—preferably—knocked up.

The carnal urge grips him more intensely than before. Usually, he can suppress that visceral desire to bury himself bare inside you and spill his virility until he further claims you as his. However, receiving a glimpse of you in this maternal state, it has every instinct screaming that you’re irrefutably perfect and primed.

As if on cue, you turn around with the effectively lullabied infant clinging around your neck. After a flicker of surprise, pleasant then concerned, you pad on over to carefully hand over Morgan to her thankful mother. Your attention rivets back to him with a knitted brow gaze.

“Babe, hey,” you greet in a gentle voice. Worry ebbs into your gaze amongst the usual stare of attraction upon dragging across the navy blue material that still clings to his muscular torso. You offer your hand, which he immediately takes, and you guide him out of the office into the hallway. The door shuts behind you, and the sectioned off level is empty, but your voice is still quiet when asking, “What happened?”

You stand barely a breath away, and the proximity pacifies his senses. His stance loosens while a smile upturns a corner of his mouth. “Nothing,” he answers then clarifies, “Nothing that matters anymore, anyway.”

The amendment dwindles your concerned curiosity because it’s honest—he doesn’t need to dwell when you’re standing here—and you can hear it; another lovingly scrutinizing up-and-down glance confirms that his earlier disquietude has settled significantly.

“D’you have fun back there?” he goes onto wonder, eyes flickering over to the closed door. Your earlier titillatingly visage snaps into his brain, and he subconsciously bites down on his bottom lip. “You looked like you were.”

You accept his subject-change with a nonchalant shrug. “Babies like me, and I like them,” you tell him, smiling at the admission. “What can I say?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that you want me to knock you up.” The words fumble out of his mouth before he thinks about it, and while he hadn’t intended on letting it slip, if he did, it would’ve been without the serious fluctuation he blurted it out with.

In a lame attempt to correct his slip of the tongue regarding a topic you both rarely discussed, he quickly adds, “I’m joking.” A surprised expression had crossed your features upon processing his former response, transitioning into something he can’t yet pinpoint if he likes. As if to test the waters—or dig himself into a deeper hole—he says, matter-of-factly, borderline suggestive, “But you know, back in my day, you’d probably already have a few popped out by now.”

“Mr. Rogers!” you gasp in an almost-shocked tone, but your cheeks split with a devious grin. “Are you telling me you want to be a daddy?”

Disheveled by his mission, then upended by your placating presence, he’s more awkward than the day he met you. “Fuck. Look, I’d never pressure you, okay?” For the millionth time, the previous scene plays mentally; he exhales heavily. “It’s just you with her, and I. . . never mind.” He shakes his head, deciding he’s still on the edge from both events today, and dismisses his animalistic inkling. “Act like I didn’t say anything.”

You fold your arms and nod.

“Uh-huh, daddy,” you drawl, scintillating in mischievousness that simultaneously has his heart skipping a beat and his cock jumping. Your smirk widens before disappearing beneath a cascade of feigned innocence. “We can just act like you don’t want me to have your kid.”

His lips part at your teasing twist of his words. “That’s - that’s not what I said.”

“Isn’t it?” You lift a brow. “It is. So, maybe I should find a guy who does. I think any other man would take immense pleasure in going condomless inside of me.” One hand wiggles into your jacket pocket while you peddle away from his orbit; a rectangular plastic ruffles as his reflexes instinctively catch it. “You know, I think Bucky would really appreciate me. I bet he’d have the manners to really wife me up and make me—“

He knows you’re poking fun of him; playfulness alight within your gaze that he usually enjoys. In actuality, he understands there’s zero truth in your jesting and he’d be more amused than jealous. However, currently, the circumstances have corrupted his sensibilities.

“That’s not funny.”

Your laugh echoes musically. “It’s not ‘cause it isn’t a joke,” you say between your giggles, your amusement pardoning your spacial awareness. “I mean—Steve!” Your yelp is louder and even more musical when he surges forth and reigns you in.

Air expels from your chest as his body cages yours against the wall. Using one hand to brace himself above you, his opposing appendage tilts your dazed blinking up. “Now do you really think I don’t want you to carry my kid?” he rumbles. “Because if it were up to me, I would’ve taken claim to your womb the second I saw you.”

Your breathing hitches, and you try to remain unaffected but he’s too keen on your reactions to be fooled. “O - oh?”

“Yeah.” His tongue swipes across his bottom lip. “Wanna know what makes it worse?” He leans in and trails his nose along the inviting curve of your shoulder and neck until his lips are adjacent to your ear. “My sense of smell, it tells me when your body is just ripe for the taking. It’s like you’re fucking calling me every single month—begging me to put your little pussy out of your misery. . . fuck and fuck until you’re milkin’ my kid right outta me.”

A sound, hybrid between a moan and a gasp, escapes your throat; humor eviscerated, desire exudes from you and submerges his senses in a provoking intoxication. The rush sinks into his brain and triggers that visceral frenzy within him but he has no interest in suppressing it anymore.

He releases a guttural groan and grabs your hips. His big hands splay on either side, thumb slightly kneading back and forth, and he draws you in closer. “I can smell you right now, too. Not only how wet you’re gettin’ but that it’s that time for you, isn’t it?” he purrs and nips at your lobe. “You’re mine for the taking.” His teeth catch your pulse, sucking a mark onto the vulnerable skin. “Hm, baby?”

“Y - yes!” you moan wantonly loud as your weight sags into his embrace. “Always.”

“Good—” His hands cinch on your flanks and abruptly hoist you up: prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist and your arms to encircle around his neck. “—cause holding back with you is gonna be impossible.”

With your body clutched around his abdomen, he heads for the closest empty room, scoped out via his enhanced hearing. Unceremoniously, he turns a handle and breaks the lock of the unused office space; two doors down from the main room, it’s smaller but it has a sturdy-looking desk in the center.

He kicks the door shut and sets you down as your lips find his. Although you’re sat down, legs dangling over the wooden edge, you keep your elbows hooked around the nape of his neck and coax a ragged groan out of his chest with the deft stroke of your tongue.

“Shit, baby,” he breathes and parts from you in order to yank your jacket down your shoulders. Tossing it off the side, he reveals a braless tank top and your nipples he can see have pebbled underneath. His imagination takes off once more, envisioning what the already perfect twins will look like in the wake of his seed taking root inside you.

His blood pumps viciously, flowing downward and flooding his cock to strain beneath the oppressive stealth-suit fabric. Like you’re reading his mind, you unhook the utility belt and similarly shove it off somewhere on the side.

Something rustles, and it’s the condom you’d thrown at him. Absentmindedly tucked under the cinch of the belt previously, it falls into your undressing hands. Your eyes rivet up to him, lashes fluttering big, as you hold it between two fingers: halfway offering. “What are you gonna do, daddy?”

At that particular moment, it occurs to him that you’re doubting his seriousness. While abundantly clear you want this, you’re dubious on whether he’s going through it. Which is preposterous, but he figures that the look on your face when he spills inside you bareback will only further his orgasm, consequently heightening the odds of his end-goal.

He plucks the packaging from of your grip, holds it up as your gazes clash and makes a show out of discarding it out of reach. Then he seizes your knees and slides your ass to the edge so your center is flushed against him, rocking into his hardened imprint.

“You,” he answers your query, tone a growl, as he peels your jeans off. He continues on just to shred your panties. “I’m doing you. With nothing to separate me from you, nothing to keep you from your rightful destiny: knocked up with our baby.”

“Please,” is all you utter, but the room’s thick with sensory evidence of your essence.

Spreading your thighs as far as possible, he glances down to spit lewdly on your glistening mound; a long dribble of saliva coating your eager button and slit. He uses his thumb to smear it all over, mixing with the puddle you’re creating, dipping into your sticky folds with his middle finger.

The whole time, you’re choking with these hungry and appreciative little noises. Likewise, you’re watching as he prepares you thoroughly and roughly to wring the cum out of him. “S - Steve,” you mewl coherently and buck into his messy caress. Your fingers are tugging pleading on the lower half of his uniform. “I need you. Please!”

It is about damn time.

His control has been witting away since the first time you called him daddy. He swiftly wrenches the suit down and exposes his leaking, throbbing cock to your tunnel of relief. His size always dwarfs your kempt triangle; an initial observation one might come to is the improbability he won’t fit. But he does, every single time, and in this special instance, he’s going to ensure all of his formidable length is buried in your fertile heat.

He rasps his tip over your clit, plastering his translucent white pre-cum over the engorged nub, then traces down the crease of your slit. As he prods in, his hands span your thighs and help open up your elastic entrance for his ravenous cock. He stretches your tightness slow but unyieldingly while you both watch with labored breathing, transfixed by the sight of your dripping core enveloping his veined and tanned angry stalk until he’s nudging your cervix.

“Good girl,” he grits out, strangled by the electricity prickling his nerves. He slips support underneath your ass, intertwining from the inner to the outer so when he hauls you up, your knees are bent over his elbows. “You ready to make me a daddy, baby?”

“Yes!” You nod quickly with a moan. “Shit, you’re big—and deep. Really fucking deep.”

He chuckles huskily because if you think that now, he can’t wait to see you once he’s truly plundered new depths. “Now, you just hold on tight and let me do all the work. I only want you to focus on givin’ me a baby, okay?”

In the middle of an abandoned office room—possibly a storage area—he heaves you up and drops you back down. Your arms curl around his neck, hands twisting into his suit, while he alters between gravity and his hips jutting forth to drill inside you.

Without any mind to those around you—just you and him—he fucks you with every ounce of strength coiled into his super-charged build. Ignoring the fact that door is unlocked, broken more specifically, and the possibility that there’s likely high quality surveillance cameras watching, your shared sounds of carnality fills the room in between the harsh collision of skin.

Each propelling thrust seems to jostle further than further, carving himself into your inner walls. Like he said before, he handles all the work, effortlessly bouncing your sporadically clenching channel with his inhuman strength and stamina; leaving you to accept and bask in the stimulation his cock is providing and the gift he’ll be depositing inside of you any time now.

Your lips are breathless in his ear, gasping, “Daddy, please,” that has him climbing the rope faster. The beg pours gasoline on an already roaring fire, igniting wildly to burn up his legs then his stomach and on its way to take him under.

“Y’gonna make me a daddy, baby? You’re gonna be a pretty lil’ mommy and take care of us? Is that what you want?” he croons, identifying the way you tighten as your steadily approaching orgasm. “Y’gonna have your pretty pussy squeeze me until I’m shooting my load and knocking you up?”

He’s pretty sure your nails have punctured the suit’s resilient material. “S - Steve, fuck! Please. Yes! Cum inside me—cum inside me—“ you cry out with genuine desperation that his limbs tingling numbly. “I want it. I want you. Please. I wanna feel you!”

His jaw locks and works you somehow even harder. The room is completely engulfed with you, your arousal, the potency of your ovulation, and your future with him; once he releases, it’ll only seal the fact that you’re his and belong to him (as well as vice versa).

“Who’s gonna be a daddy, baby? Who are you making a daddy, baby?” His words are practically slurred while fever coalesces across his entirety. “Who owns your pretty little pussy and your womb?”

“You—Steve—daddy,” you sob as your orgasm seizes up around his cock, giving him no other choice other than to: “Cum inside me, daddy—!”

Something beastly rips out of his chest, and without protest, he gifts you exactly what you want. He burrows into the absolute hilt and fires inside you for what feels like forever. Spurts of ooze finally wane, nudging your fruitful cervix, but even then, he doesn’t dare retreat from your heavenly depths.

The aftershocks force him to set you back down on the desk, still buried and keeping you stuffed. His face nuzzles the junction between your neck and shoulder languorously, and you lazily run your fingers through his hair, walls periodically pulsating.

When he regains the energy, he straightens and pulls out of you until his bulbous head is blocking your entrance; he stops there because he realizes something. “It’s gonna leak, and as hot as that is, I need to keep you full, baby.” Abruptly, he hauls you up and shuffles the position so that he’s sitting on the desk, and you’re sitting on his cock.

Your sensitivity flares around him, and you squeal. “F - fuck!” But you adjust to comfortability, blinking at him. “For how long?”

A smile curls into his lips, and he strokes your cheek while his other hand lays on your belly. “For as long as it takes.”

[masterlist / feedback]

#steve rogers x you smut #steve rogers imagines #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers smut #marvel reader insert #marvel smut imagines #my writing #marvel imagines #my fics #mANY ERRORS

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fencer-x · 3 years

Text

Fencer’s Big Eva Review

Just got done watching the Eva finale, so it’s time to get out thoughts while they’re fresh! Caveat: Eva is difficult to understand for native speakers, and I’m definitely not a native speaker XD I feel like I got maybe half, and got the rough gist of like 10% of the rest, and the remaining was just no friggin’ clue. Would’ve gone better if there’d at least been JP subs, but you’ll have to deal with what I’ve got for now!

It should be obvious, but there’ll be HELLA MAJOR SPOILERS for the final Evangelion movie. Ready? Let’s go.

The movie very helpfully starts off with a ~2 min recap of the movies thus far. This was great because I didn’t have time to rewatch the previous three before going, and while I’ve seen them a few times, it took me a second the recall what had happened at the very end of Q, so I was glad to get a very brief recap.

The actual movie itself opens on...Paris! Or Paris post-Near-Third-Impact (Third Impact?), which is a red and black wasteland. It seems that Wille has been developing these things that look like Entry Plugs that they shove into the ground and restore everything to pre-all-impacts (so like, blue water and everything); couldn’t get HOW it managed that, but they had them and were attempting to restore Paris.

Would have been a walk in the park except for weird Eva-Angel-Machine hybrids that were trying to prevent them from activating the plugs. Lots of fighting happens, with Mari piloting her Eva to give them cover while the Wille staff set everything up. Eventually they manage it, and Euro Nerv is restored.

Then we switch over to right where Q left off: Asuka, Clone!Rei, and a catatonic Shinji wandering around trying to go who knows where. They eventually get picked up by...Touji! Yes, an older Touji now who lives in a commune of survivors, scraping out a semblance of a life in one of the areas protected by the aforementioned plugs (they had another name but I couldn’t get it).

In this community, Touji is the local doctor--and he’s married with a kid! He married Hikari, and they have an infant daughter named Tsubame.

Now, let’s check in how our main three do when introduced to this relatively normal life they get to enjoy for a few weeks:

Asuka: Still in ‘fight mode’, ready to go at a moment’s notice. How she thinks she’s gonna fight when she has no Eva idk, but for this entire little bit, she’s either naked or in her plugsuit. She stays with Aida Kensuke, who’s kind of the handyman, and is generally just rude af.

Shinji: For 90% of this bit, he’s totally shut off. He’s incredibly fucked up from having JUST watched Kaworu die, essentially because of him, and Asuka has on a DSS choker, and every time he sees it, he collapses and begins vomiting violently. He stays with the Suzuharas at first but is quickly sent to stay with Asuka and Kensuke because they don’t really know how to deal with him. Kensuke manages to get him to open up a little bit, but eventually it’s Rei who gets him started on the path back to being himself. At one point he runs away and ‘lives’ alone for a while in what I think was either the building where he first met Kaworu playing the piano or one that looked a lot like it. He goes out to do odd jobs with Kensuke a lot, and on one occasion he’s taken to an ‘outdoor lab’ where some workers are experimenting with new gardening techniques. It’s here he’s meets...Kaji Ryouji. No, not that Kaji Ryouji. That Kaji DIED. This is the son he had with Misato (named after him).

Rei: Now, let me say I’ve never been super interested in Rei. I didn’t dislike her, like I did Asuka, but I wasn’t really interested in her either. She was just there. Guys.....I LOVED REI IN THIS MOVIE. I would have watched 2.5 hours of the Rei Learns To Be A Human show and been happy for the $20 I paid. Rei spends her time in the commune learning to be an individual. She stays with the Suzuharas and learns what different words mean, like “Good morning” and “Good night” and “Thank you” and “Goodbye”, she gets super close with a bunch of old ladies who essentially adopt her and teach her how to plant turnips and what a bath is, and she becomes her own person. When she first arrives, the Suzuharas think she’s “Ayanami Rei”, but she explains that she isn’t, so they call her “Sokkuri-san” instead (”Miss Spitting Image” essentially), and the old ladies find it amusing at first but then encourage her to choose her own name, and when she can’t think of one, they tell her to have someone choose one for her, so she asks the Uber-Depressed Shinji to choose one. These interactions are what eventually pull him back to himself, but ultimately he’s unable to come up with one, because “Ayanami is Ayanami”. She thanks him for trying anyway, returns his SD player to him..............................and then dissolves into a pile of LCL fluid, as apparently all clones eventually return to LCL. Fantastic, because Shinji didn’t need EVEN MORE TRAUMA.

Somehow, the above doesn’t break Shinji, and he resolves to go back to Wille and face his father I guess?? I’m not entirely clear on why (gotta go read some reports of my own I guess lol). Back on the ship with Misato et al., Shinji isn’t forced to wear a choker but he’s put in a cell with like explosives in it I guess. He starts having visions of Kaworu helping him accept things.

At this point it’s getting close to the climax, and Wille are going after Nerv/Gendo once and for all. During the final fight, Asuka tried to take out Unit 13′s core, and then she’s not managing it, she rips off her eyepatch, and we see that the patch was keeping the 9th angel bound within her eye, so she decides to throw away her humanity and let it take over to destroy Unit 13. Unfortunately, she’s killed in the end--how? She’s approached by a vision of her ‘original’. Yup, Asuka was a clone herself, like Rei, and she turns back into LCL and she and unit 02 are absorbed by Unit 13.

Eventually the fight comes down to Shinji vs. Gendo, who has thrown away his own humanity and bonded with Unit 13 in the hopes of completing the Human Instrumentality Project. He and Shinji go head to head as Shinji summons (???) Unit 01 from inside Unit 13, and there’s a really REALLY WEIRD final fight between the two that involves some weird animation choices. Lots of storyboards and overly CGI’d CGI, and some bits that seem to take them through the different incarnations of the Eva series.

We also get Gendo backstory by the boatload as he and Shinji have an actual goddamn conversation for once. Mari features prominently in Gendo’s flashbacks so she was definitely one of his classmates it seems, who introduced him to Fuyutsuki. I’m still not entirely clear on who she is/was.

However, through this conversation, Shinji gives the people he’s interacted with most closely/been closest with closure I guess? Gendo, Asuka...Kaworu.

So about Kaworu. Their conversation was VERY VERY WEIRD; it’s made clear that Shinji is also now aware of all the different iterations of their meeting. When they talk, it’s set at the beach where they first met in the TV series, and Shinji says he remembers all the times they’ve met before. Shinji mentions that Kaworu reminds him a lot of his father, and then there are some very strange flashbacks (????) of Kaworu’s that I feel like imply he’s to Gendo as Rei is to Yui. At one point, he’s seen talking to Fuyutsuki, trying to decide on a name for himself and settling on ‘Nagisa’ as it means ‘beach’, where the ocean meets the land. Fuyutsuki later addresses Kaworu, who’s sitting in Gendo’s desk, as “Commander Nagisa”. Kaworu reflects to Shinji that he failed so many times to make Shinji happy, but he’s realized now that that’s because he doesn’t know what would make Shinji happy and it was arrogant to think he knew better. He was looking for his own happiness all along.

In the end, after all these goodbyes, Shinji is left with the decision of what to do with, well, reality. He decides, in a conversation with Rei, that he’ll reset everything--create a ‘neon genesis’--to a world without Eva or Angels.

Our last shot is an older Shinji meeting his (presumed??) girlfriend Mari on a train platform. On the opposite platform waiting for their own train are Kaworu, Asuka, and Rei. Shinji and Mari hold hands and run, laughing, from the train station.

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION GOT A HAPPY ENDING. 2021 REALLY BE OUT HERE WILDING.

My final thoughts:

Okay I’ll say it: the fuck with Shinji/Mari endgame? Believe me, it was completely out of left field even in this movie. They just happened to be the only final survivors. Mari flirted a hell of a lot more with ASUKA and was distraught at her death than she did with Shinji. They were a kind of cute couple in the end, but very ?????

I’m disappointed Shinji wasn’t the one to give Kaworu his happiness in the end, after Kaworu spent so long and so many lives and realities trying to make him happy and failing. I’m choosing to believe, since these multiple realities/resets are canon now, that he did it in one of them. They all deserve the happiness of their choosing, not just Shinji’s, and Kaworu showed us time and time again that his happiness definitively involves being with Shinji.

I’m sure I missed a lot, because yanno, Eva, and it was long enough as is, but gosh I wish I could’ve understood more of everything that was going on, cause there was SO MUCH WEIRD SHIT.

If I watch this movie again, I will 500% just be watching those “Rei learns to be human with the help of a bunch of old cackling biddies” bits :> Those were THE BEST PARTS OF THE MOVIE.

#neon genesis evangelion #spoilers #review

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musingsofanunorgainizedmind · 3 years

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Top 10 Things I Love About Supernatural

It’s been almost half a year since the show ended and now that the dust has settlIed, I just want to list ten reasons I love this show. Despite it’s flaws, it’s been quite the ride.

1. Team Free Will

When I first got the idea to make this list, I originally planned on doing entirely separate entries for “Sam & Dean” and “Destiel”. Except then I wanted to pay tribute to “Sastiel”. And then I wanted to do an entry for “Team Free Dads”. By that point, I was already halfway through the list and I hadn’t even moved on from the main characters. A few months ago, I made a post about why I love every single pairing in this group. Obviously, Sam and Dean are a legendary duo. Obviously, Dean and Cas have an unparalleled story. Obviously, Sam and Cas are an underrated team. As for Team Free Dads, I’ve always had a soft spot for father/mentor figure characters and and all three tackle the role in different ways. I love Jack, too. I love how everyone in this bizarro family is “broken” in some way. We’ve got the Allistair’s prized pupil, the spawn of satan, the boy with demon blood, and the angel who nearly obliterated all of heaven. But they help each other heal by being supportive and seeing the good in each other. They all love each other so deeply and when together, nothing can stand in their way. Not Michael, not Lucifer, and not God himself. They tore up the book and wrote their own story. And it was a pleasure to watch it all unfold.

2. The Suppporting Characters

To list every single supporting character I have loved and lost in this show would take way too long. I don’t know if it’s the writing or acting performances, but I love pretty much every single supporting character on this show. Even villains like Azazel or Allistair are top-notch villains. Hell, I even like characters like Metatron, Lucifer, Mary, and John! Characters like Rufus, Charlie, Crowley, Rowena, Kevin, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Gabriel, Balthazar, Mick...how am I not supposed to love them??? All of their stories were cut so short. I’d watch a show about any of these characters. The Wayward Sisters were robbed. So many ships were gone too soon (Sam/Rowena, Dean/Jo, Cas/Meg, Etc.). So many heartbreaking deaths. I want to be best friends with all these characters. Why be a “dean-girl” or a “sam-girl” when you can be a garth-girl? A kevin-girl? A claire-girl? A bela-girl? There are so many great characters with interesting and compelling backstories and so much untapped potential. I could go on forever on this, but I digress.This show has one of the best supporting casts I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

3. The Themes

It’s no accident that I got addicted to this show at the time that I did. Namely, my Senior Year of College and 2020. Graduating college and entering the “real world” felt like it’s own sort of apocalypse. 2020 definitely exacerbated my worst tendencies. Messages like “family don’t end in blood”, “you can write your own story”, and “always keep fighting” really resonated with me. I could definitely relate to the feelings of insecurity these character’s felt and the ways they suppressed/repressed their issues instead of facing them. I could relate to the feelings of not fitting in and I could definitely relate to the loneliness. This show helped remind me that I’m not alone. That it’s okay if my values and identity don’t line up with the what I envisioned for myself. And, most importantly, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I should never give up. If Dean, Sam, and Cas can keep moving forward despite their demons and despite how bad it gets, so can I. Regardless of how the story ended, these themes resonated with me and I’ll still hold them with me. A single episode can’t take that away.

4. The Fun Episodes

This show has so many legendary standalone episodes. Changing Channels. Ghostfacers. The French Mistake. Fan Fiction. Tall Tales. Bad Day at Black Rock. When this show goes for the absurd, it goes all-in. It takes the risks it needs to take, it gets completely insane, and it pulls it off. So many of these episodes could have easily been the moment that the show “jumped the shark”. Yet, time after time, the show delivered on it’s potential. I don’t know how much I can say about these episodes except that they made me laugh out loud, made me fall even harder for these characters, and that they’re the episodes I remember best. If I were to rewatch any episode, it would be one of the fun ones. This show knew how to not take itself too seriously and how to poke fun at itself. I’ve always had a soft spot for shows that can make me laugh and cry (X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, Doctor Who, etc.), and this show definitely nails the fun part.

5. The Sad Episodes

Death’s Door. Hammer of the Gods. Despair. Carry On. Abandon All Hope. In My Time of Dying. Swan Song. When this show wants you to cry, it doesn’t pull the punches. It gets downright devastating. No character is safe. Literally every character you love will either be forgotten or will die. Or both. The amount of trauma Sam and Dean have to go through is insane. Both have literally been to hell and back. Both have killed countless people, including innocents. When this show decides it wants to wreck you, it’s overwhelming. I sobbed when Bobby died. I sobbed when every single member of Team Free Will died for the final time (I still can’t watch any of those scenes). I still wish Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Kevin, Mick, and Gabriel had been given more time to tell their stories. Being a hunter means a life of endless angst. Being an angel or demon doesn’t get you off the hook, either. I remember going into this show thinking it couldn’t hurt me. My favorite character type is “mentor/father figure”. But holy hell...I don’t think every single sad moment was necessarily good writing, but when it was? Damn.

6. The Biblical Themes

I’m not a relgious person. But, despite this show being steeped in Christian mythology, it really touched on my feelings about the Old Testament in a profound way. Well, really just Ben Edlund and Robbie Thompson did. I’ve never seen a show really hit the overall feel of the bible the way this show does. The idea of Angels as mystical and terrifying creatures. The idea of God as a flawed father figure with a penchant for wrath. The sheer epicness of the biblical stories. The idea of family members constantly being turned on each other. Cain and Abel. Jacob and Essau. Moses and Ramses. Moses and Aaron. Abraham and Isaac. The bible is full of stories of family drama. This show doesn’t always give angels and demons weight. Sometimes it’s silly and stupid and cheesy. But when it hits right? It’s epic. This is more of a personal thing I love about the show, but definitely a plus!

7. The Music

The early seasons music is so good. I really miss the classic rock of the golden era of the show. I mean, there are still some great musical moments later on, but damn. I loved hearing songs I recognized and I loved learning new songs. I loved when the song and the scene hit perfectly in time (Death’s intro. Cas’s return in Season 13.). Also Supernatural wouldn’t be Supernatural without the ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ song at the end of every season. Even at the end of a season I didn’t love, that recap would always get me pumped. Also Chuck singing Fare Thee Well? Dean and Lee singing together? Fan Fiction? All great.

8. The Cast & Crew

I never care about the actors or actresses in a show. I definitely don’t bother with the names of specific writers and directors or their styles of writing/directing. They’re just random people who happen to write for or play these characters I love. They’re not actually the characters. But these guys? Well, for one, I’m pretty sure half this cast actually is their character. At least to some degree. They’re also just...really cool people? Who are all friends? They make a point to do community service, to interact with fans, and to promote positive ideas. Jared’s Always Keep Fighting campaign. Misha and GISH. The fact that they all participate in fundraising opportunities and encourage fan engagement. Do they all have issues? Definitely. Have they said stupid things? Yes. But the good far outweighs the bad. They’re an entertaining bunch whether onscreen or not and I hope they all do well in whatever their future endeavors may be.

9. The Fandom

I joined this fandom late. To be honest, I thought this fandom was obnoxious before I found myself a part of it. Now that I’ve been in the trenches? It’s got it’s ups and downs like any fandom. There are some parts that are more toxic than others. A lot of people yelling that their opinion is the only opinion. But overall? The good outweighs the bad. And the good? The good is great. Some fanfictions I’ve read are better than actual books I’ve read and just as moving. The fanart? Incredible. I love reading all the metas about random aspects of the show I never would have noticed. I love the music videos and I love the analytical videos. In real life, I’ve made many friends through our mutual love of this show. Hell, even getting sucked into GISH once or twice has given me some solid memories and brought me closer to friends. I wish all fandoms were this much like family. I’m so glad I got to be a part of this fandom and I can’t wait to continue being a fan. After all, nothing ever stays dead in Supernatural.

10. The Chaos & Insanity

Season 16 has been a time. First, Destiel went canon. Then suddenly Sherlock was having a 5th season, Putin was retiring, and Georgia was going blue. Destiel going “canon” and Joe Biden winning the presidency will always be correlated in my mind now. Things in the fandom went from quiet to blaringly loud real fast. Carry On happened. The fandom went into a civil war. I can’t even remember half of what happened in Season 16, but it’s been a wild ride. There’s been ups (my personal favorite being the french dub and the Saileen wedding). There’s been downs (Jared’s controversial statements and the original scripts being leaked). At one point Misha Collins had sex with Bill Clinton???? It’s been a wild time. It’s honestly gotten me through the end of this pandemic. At least it’s entertaining. I would say that at least all the craziness is over, but is it ever really over? Every time I say that something else completely insane happens. But it’s been fun. I’m glad I started watching this show despite my reservations and here’s to whatever happens next.

#team free will #team free will 2.0 #castiel #jack kline #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam and dean #destiel #wayward sisters #supernatural #spn #misha collins #jared padalecki #jensen ackles

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bills-pokedex · 3 years

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Worldbuilding Month: Day 7

{And here we are with the actual entry of the day, which is ... literally, what are pokémon? How do types work? Were humans ever pokémon? And why does the mun get so pissed off whenever someone tries to bonk a pokémon?

Imagine that you’re an alien from a planet that has no fungi. You only have plants and animals, maybe some microorganisms, but you’ve never seen a mushroom in your life. One day, you take your spaceship and go to Earth, and as soon as you land, you see a mushroom for the first time. You’re enraptured by this mushroom, so you pick it and turn to one of the locals.

“Hey! What kind of plant is this?” you ask.

And they go, “What? That’s not a plant.” (They seem pretty chill with the fact that you’re clearly an alien who’s just arrived on a spaceship.)

And you’re like, “Really? But it grows out of the ground, and it seems to have roots and everything. But okay, if you say so. What kind of animal is it?”

And they go, “It’s not an animal either.”

This should give you an idea of what pokémon are from our perspective. They’re not animals. They’re not plants. They’re not even really weird-shaped humans. They’re a life form that occupies a completely different taxon from any life form we’re familiar with. Literally, even. Whereas humans and all the other animals are part of Kingdom Animalia, whereas plants are in Plantae and so on, pokémon are literally classified in a kingdom known as Kingdom Pokémonica.

But you know this already if you’ve been following the blog for a while. Bill’s told you, and so have I. But what if I told you that’s just the scientific explanation.

Science in the Pokémon world is ... weird, in other words. It’s not really a science we know because a lot of it just ... can’t really be explained by the real-world laws of physics. Like, how can you convert something like a seven-story tall snake made out of solid rock into energy that you can then store in your pocket? Or worse, in an online cloud? How can a three-foot-tall fuzzball with rosy cheeks generate enough electricity to bring down an adult Indian elephant? You literally cannot explain these things.

Sort of.

So to be blunt, yes, magic as we (observers outside of the Pokémon world) know it exists. It’s just that a lot of this magic isn’t really magic to the people who live in that universe in the same way that our current technology and understanding of the world isn’t magic to us but might seem like it to our ancestors. But enough analogies. Lemme explain to you what pokémon are, specifically...

...by explaining to you what a type is.

Unlike our own planet, the Earth of the Pokémon universe is charged with elemental energies. Some people refer to this energy as aura, though this really shouldn’t be confused with Aura, which is really more of a narrower sliver of this overall concept. The broader concept is that elemental energies are the life force of the planet itself. Everything on the face of the planet, from humans to pebbles, contains some level of this elemental energy. It flows through them and keeps them connected to the planet. This energy can be divided into eighteen different elements (hence, the types)—possibly even more, given that these energies aren’t well understood. Oh, sure, they’ve been extensively studied since the earliest days of pokémon-human symbiosis, but humans have only really begun to scratch the surface of their understanding of what types actually are.

(Or to be a bit clearer, these energies are intangible forces that everything on the planet aligns to. So for example, there’s such a thing as rock energy, but it’s not literally a rock but rather energies that stone things resonate with.)

Anyway, humans themselves have a higher level of it within themselves than any other animal (which is why so many humans have psychic abilities, aura abilities, or ... a tendency to transform into pokémon). But pokémon? They’re practically made of it. It’s what powers their abilities, and it’s threaded into every cell of their body, to the point where every part of them becomes aligned with one or two of the eighteen types of energies. It even explains why pokémon can be stored in poké balls and online: pokémon have the ability to turn into energy-based lifeforms—literally, breaking down their bodies into the base energies they align to. These energies can then be stored in convenient devices, within a capture matrix designed specifically to contain them. (There’s ... a lot more to it than that, but there’s only so far I’m willing to go down this rabbit hole of barely defined science.) The storage system, of course, takes it one step further by manipulating the energies of both the pokémon and the containment device surrounding it, breaking both down into energy and converting the whole shebang into data that can then be stored on a server or transferred to another point. How?

Listen. I’m not implying that certain characters are literal tech wizards, but I also just explained that magic exists, so...

Anyway, yes. That’s the short explanation. Pokémon are not animals, plants, or people. They’re magic creatures. Like, literally magic creatures made of actual magic.

As for the other questions above:

Pokémon were never really people, nor vice versa. This is a common interpretation of the Canalave myth, but in reality, the Canalave myth just meant to say humans and pokémon have always had a strong bond with each other—and, in fact, they had a closer bond once upon a time than they do now. (Or at least some regions did. Other regions feared them to the point where they’re only relatively recently learning about the ones that’re trying to coexist with them.)

But also, humans don’t really ... have that kind of relationship with pokémon either. Or put it this way. The way humans see pokémon is a lot like the way we see our own pets. Oh, sure, pokémon are clearly intelligent, and absolutely, all humans see pokémon as their near-equals, their partners, who completely understand them (for the most part). But humans also understand that there’s a barrier of species between them and their pokémon partners. And, well, in a lot of cases, they also don’t ... quite see pokémon as on the same level as themselves. Which is fair because a lot of pokémon really only possess intelligence a little bit higher than the animals/other creatures they supposedly resemble. A growlithe is a bit more intelligent than a dog, but it still thinks like a dog, you know?

Besides, pokémon see their relationship to humans as an unwavering platonic loyalty. Most of them don’t really understand human concepts of romance, so they’re literally not capable of reciprocating, you know. Human advances.

So to recap:

- Pokémon are literally made of magic.

- Pokémon are not animals, nor were humans ever pokémon or vice versa.

- Pokémon see themselves as loyal partners who’re trying to help the unfortunate comparatively powerless creatures who seem to really like them, and in return the weird enthusiastic creatures help them grow. They do not see humans in a romantic light.

- To be fair, pokémon possess only slightly higher intelligence than most actual animals. Except the ones that are supposedly supergeniuses. But to be honest, they’re also practically pet-like in nature, intelligence or no. (Foxglove absolutely loves scritches and playing fetch.)}

#pokemon lore #pokemon headcanon #pokemon worldbuilding #worldbuilding month #resources #long post

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jupiterminingcorporation · 3 years

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Thinking out loud.

Long post, feel free to skip!!

Going to train-of-consciousness to myself about decorating stuff.

I really am drawing a blank with decorating ideas for my study in the new house. I'll have a 3.3m x 3.3m room to work with. It will have a 3.1m wide sliding glass door/window along the front wall, so there are three walls to work with.

I have bookshelves already... Part of me would like to get rid of the ol' flat-pack particleboard "beech" bookshelves and buy some that are better matched, but then again... I have three "beech" bookshelves. Not all the same height, but they more or less match. But then, I have a darker, actual timber bookshelf. And I'll be putting my Gran's darker timber furniture in there (not all actual timber, but still looks good!) I kinda like the idea of having matching dark timber furniture and shelves. I could stain the large pine bookshelf I have. Then I could but the "beech" ones in the spare room for storage in there, since I'm not putting in a BIR. The white melamine bookshelf we'll be able to use in out bedroom, because we'll actually have room for it, and our bedsides are white. We're also going to have some pine timber furniture in there, but the pine bookshelf is huge, so the white one will be better.

As far as wall décor for the study, there are heaps of things to choose from for hanging. Many floral prints that Gran had in her house, and a lot of historical family photographs. A bunch of boats/nautical things as well, although they could blend in quite well with my oddities, which I'm planning to display in the dining area.

Wall colour? I have no freaking idea!! Part of me likes the idea of a traditional English Manor style library/study with deep green or red walls, but I don't especially like green as a decorator colour, and I'm not sure red is really a *me* colour either. Also, given that my study is not going to be on the grand scale of an English Country Home, I'm not convinced that such a deep/dark colour can really be carried off in combination with dark-toned timbers. A burnished golden yellow might work. Yellow is said to be a creative colour, but it would really have to be the right one for me because there are some that I'm really not a fan of. I have had yellow in the kitchen/bathroom/laundry since I bought this place, though, without wanting to eat my own eyeballs, so that's a plus. My favourite colour is purple, but I don't think I want a purple study. I don't think it would fit with the furniture and the other décor I have tentatively planned.

Other décor? I'm planning to use some of my grandmother's old table linen to make curtains and possibly a cushion to put on a small bench seat, which I may try to make a little back for if I can figure it out. Particularly, I want to use the red gingham cloths for the side window and the seat. I'm not sure about the large window/sliding glass door. When I first had the idea of using the linens as curtains, I was set on a different kit, which would have had small windows for the study so I could have used the two ginghams. For larger curtains I could get larger-checked gingham, or make solid-colour curtains with gingham tie-backs.

Mmkay, recap for self...

Furniture: liquor cabinet; linen chest; tapestry seat thingy; wheeled bench seat thingy; timber bookshelf (Coogans); unsealed pine bookshelf (stained dark timber); new bookshelves from somewhere; desk from somewhere, Dad's desk chair.

Wall décor: floral prints; family photographs.

Wall colour: burnished yellow/gold?

Curtains: gingham w/ white tiebacks (small); white w/ gingham tiebacks (large).

Flooring: ?????; black & grey rug.

Flooring I'm still kinda deciding on for the house in general. Our bedroom will have second-hand carpet from Dad and Joss's, the piece from their lounge room will almost perfectly fit our room. It does have a stain on it, but we figure a rug will do to cover that. A 4.25m x 3.35m, 5-year-old carpet in good condition otherwise is a gift horse and I ain't looking in its mouth. 🤷‍♀️

The main living area being an open space, basically 6m x 7.35m, I'm debating the flooring. We could go with vinyl for the kitchen/entry and then laminate timber-look flooring for the lounge/dining area, or just laminate or vinyl the lot. Laminate is more cost effective, but much more labour-intensive. Vinyl sheeting is much quicker to lay, but costs more, albeit still not a huge amount. But also, vinyl flooring doesn't look as nice as laminate. 🤔

Spare room and study also need flooring, of course. Probably room-sized remnants from a carpet place, if the carpet we have isn't enough to Frankenstein together a room's worth. And the bathroom/laundry and powder rooms will by vinyl sheet flooring, I'm just not sure of the design yet.

Okay. After all that rambling, I have more of an idea in mind of what I want to do with my study/writing room. I have an antique inkwell/bottle as well as my nice dark, old furniture and historical photos, so I like the idea of having a traditional-looking room, even if I will be using a 2-in-1 laptop to do my writing on while I'm in there! 😅

#kit home rambling #home decorating rambling #rambling in general tbh

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

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Why ‘The Karate Kid Part II’ Deserves More Respect

So guess what film I finished watching today? Of course, the Karate Kid franchise is considered iconic mainly for its first entry; Wax on Wax off, Skeleton fights, Sweep the Leg and the Crane Kick all cemented its legacy that allowed Cobra Kai to also be such a success. But imagine my shock when the approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes for Part II is 45% - 21% lower than the Jaden Smith ‘The Karate Kung Fu Kid’ version (and Part III is scored 15%, which is also super harsh but hard to debate outside of the magnificence of Terry Silver). Originally this was just gonna be a general post of how much I enjoyed retreading Part II, but upon seeing that score I had to give it my ‘Deserves More Respect’ posts.

It is an off-chance, but if you haven’t watched this film there will be spoilers within, I encourage you to watch it before reading, and maybe watch it again if you have so it’s fresh in the mind

Let’s start with a controversial point shall we? There are several parts where Part II is actually better than the original. Now I know! There’s a lot about the original which is iconic, but nostalgia does blind you to other shortcomings and while it’s easy to sell the first part because of its mystique, a sequel has the added pressure of rising above and developing on old and new themes set by the predecessor. The Premise In case you decided against refreshing your memory. Karate Kid Part II starts with a recap of Part I, a bit of content that was meant to be Part I’s final scene (in the script, not for filming) and then a timeskip. Ali with an i is gone - brutally dumping Daniel for some Football Player before Senior Prom and after crashing his car, Daniel’s mother is in Fresno for work and Miyagi has received a letter from his home Okinawa in news of his father’s fading health. The stage is set for Daniel and the audience to learn more about the iconic Mr. Miyagi and the life he left behind. Okay, so there is bad in this film Part II deserves respect, but it’s not perfect. It definitely gets messy near the end with Daniel’s antagonist Chozen, he mainly took beats from Johnny Lawrence in physically confronting Daniel when he could with a bunch of no-named goons and he fought pretty similarly to Johnny in catch counters and leg strikes. The opening recap did take a lot of time too, while the ending remained somewhat abrupt having just beaten up Chozen to embrace Kumiko (who had a delayed recovery after being punched once). While not bad, a fair amount of retreaded content felt like downgrades of the original; Chozen and Sato lacked the charisma of Johnny and Kreese, the crane kick was far more impressive than the drum technique and the Tournament setting was grander than the O-Bon festival. But, there are Iconic Moments in this film too Part I may have the Crane Kick and the Skeletons and the Training and Sweep the Leg. But people may forget that Part II had awesome moments too.

Like Daniel chopping through 6 Sheets of Ice! If that isn’t one hell of a power play I don’t know what is. It is a moment genuinely impressive in and outside of the 80s cheese universe of Karate Kid, and it gets referenced in Season 2 of Cobra Kai.

Also referenced in Season 2 is Miyagi vs Kreese. While this is the intended ending for Part I, it certainly acted better at the start of Part II, especially given that is foreshadows the situation Daniel finds himself in at the end of the movie. This moment is equally iconic as it completely encapsulates the character of both senseis - Kreese the confident brute brought to a sniveling mouse when size and power failed him and Miyagi the cool-headed and vastly more intelligent fighter still with the cheeky prankster lightness to him as he honks the scared shitless Kreese on the nose. Perfect.

While I did want to cite the Tea Ceremony as well I think the more iconic moment for Part II had to be Miyagi chopping the log during the storm. The storm itself is a very well-done scene which unmasks several characters in the face of adversity. True tension, worry and stakes are sold as the village are in danger of the cruel whims of nature, an act which is all too real for Sato when the house he’s in collapses on him in the calm before his scheduled deathmatch with Miyagi. Not only is this again some great foreshadowing by the rule of three (Daniel asking if Miyagi can chop a log like Sato is doing with a banner and then Miyagi and Sato meeting and seeing Sato fail to chop a log) it proves a pivotal point where Sato turns from aggrieved antagonist to repenting ally. A great show of power and friendship as Miyagi metaphorically breaks the rift between their friendship that weighs Sato down. Okay, we hear you, but how is it better? I do have to preface that I do still love Part I, I have to because in pointing out where Part II is better I have to pick at Part I’s faults. While the ending is messy Part II definitely has much better pacing, until the skeletons scene Part I doesn’t really pick up because it has to set up, Part II while it does recap doesn’t need to worry about it. Giving Miyagi the main plot was definitely Part II’s strongest suit. Part I profited from Miyagi being the ‘mysterious old teacher’ but learning a lot more about his humanity and history was engrossing and it allowed positive development for Miyagi and Daniel, especially their bond as a surrogate father and son when Daniel personally goes out of his way to support Miyagi on a very personal matter. The main characters maintain their charm as well, still a lovely array of life lessons in Part II more than just finding balance, Miyagi teaches Daniel through words and action on taking time to breathe, to refocus when imbalanced, to forgive rather than to harbour hate, mercy, selflessness and humbleness

“never put passion before principle. Even if win, you lose.” - Mr. Miyagi

The scenes involving Miyagi and his father were some of the most deep and emotive of the series up until Cobra Kai, some still haven’t been topped such as Miyagi’s dad’s first words to his son or when Daniel talked about when his father died. And say what you will about Chozen, he does have a lot of Johnny vibes but a lot of the character we believed was Johnny due to nostalgia goggles was more fitting of Chozen’s manner. The story did a great job in making sure Chozen was always an asshole, at times Johnny did at least display honour and grace but Chozen was always sore about stuff and quick to claim dishonour even when he was in the wrong. Contrary to Johnny it’s more about his family than it is about a girl, which allowed a lot more freedom in the plot. Whether you felt Elizabeth Shue’s Ali with an i was prettier than Tamlyn Tomita’s Kumiko is up to personal preference, but the messy-haired Kumiko definitely had a slightly improved presence in Part II than Ali did, with actual focus on her own feelings outside of attraction to Daniel, her ambition to become a dancer directly linking to the O-Bon Festival - which in turn related to the Drum technique - as well as the delicately beautiful Tea Ceremony scene and actually contributing to the final fight (granted Ali wouldn’t be allowed to). Also Daniel didn’t try to eat her face which is a general improvement to the romantic subplot, extra applause has to go to Tomita here too because this was legitimately her first role - Shue had her second so that’s impressive too - and both women had good careers going forward. The increased stakes definitely worked in the favour of Part II as well, as sequel culture is forced to do, but by moving to Okinawa (actually filmed in Hawaii) we opened the door to better suit Miyagi’s world while keeping Daniel the fish out of water. I can’t speak too much for appropriation because there is still kinda some ‘white saviour’ undertones but I didn’t feel like Japan was treated negatively in this light, its culture of the O-Bon Festival and the Tea Ceremony was treated with the utmost respect and explained without pandering, the flute music had definitely stepped up its game for the soundtrack as did the imagery. Can also appreciate that Daniel does go for the Crane kick when fighting Chozen but is parried. Added hat tip has to go to costuming too. A lot of costumes would have to have distinct Kamon such as Sato’s twin fish and Miyagi’s bonsai on a lot of their clothing

Between Sato and Miyagi the colours of their clothes often code their emotions towards each other, with Sato usually in grey and Miyagi in white or cream, when Sato and Miyagi prepare for death they are in black and when Sato wants forgiveness he moves to a lighter shade. While Part I also used black and white to differ Johnny and Daniel, Part II put Chozen and Daniel in the more Japanese-themed Red and Blue. While both men wear red, blue and whites at time, Chozen’s clothes almost devolve from the white he debuts in as his darker side comes out before flat out embracing yellow after his chance to prove his honour in the storm is refused (and he’s in white then), while Daniel often moves to Red or red tones even in his blue shirt. Kumiko also moves from white to blue, sometimes even purple, in set up to the final fight to have the primary colours stand out in the colourful crowd of the O-Bon festival, but even in the blue Kumiko had red to pair her connection with Daniel. Also her Yukata at the festival is just stunning, the Great Wave off Kanagawa print is a nice touch.

Anything else we should know? It might not be much else about the film itself I can tell you, but I do appreciate something I’m starting to call ‘The Rocky Connection’ when it comes to Karate Kid. Like Part I’s ‘You’re the Best (Around)’ was shortlisted for Rocky III, Part II’s song ‘Glory of Love’ was shortlisted for Rocky IV’s theme, losing to ‘Hearts on Fire’, Bill Conti also chose to score this film instead of Rocky IV. I like to pair this with Daniel’s Rocky-esque character, he has that same kind of swagger but a lot more naive and childlike. Martin Kove also gets a nod because those bleeding hands were legit, he had an accident on-set and the footage was kept for the final cut. Tamlyn Tomita wasn’t the only film debut for Part II, B.D. Wong of...well, several famous roles including but not limited to Shang in the animated Mulan, Dr. Wu in the Jurassic Park franchise, Hugo Strange in Gotham and many more, also had his debut here in a minor speaking role when he’s handing out flyers for the dance party to Kumiko and Daniel before the Ice Chopping Scene. So, why does it deserve respect A film that adds to a beloved character in a respectful fashion without having really any god awful moments does not deserve a 4.5/10 rating. It may not have as emphatic an ending or as great a villain but it has a captivating plot and a good pace, better stakes and much more emotionally driven and responsive scenes. A lot of effort and dedication went into this film to explore new dimensions of the main characters in a fashion which was enjoyable and at times heartwarming. And characters are given human moments, even Miyagi confesses himself not to be perfect and it keeps each character grounded. Even to this day parts of Part II are remembered fondly rather than the campness that Part III had outside of Terry Silver and his magnificent ponytail, the fondness also continues to reflect in Cobra Kai with homages and fan theories of Daniel going to Okinawa again and even re-encountering Chozen. Not to mention it grossed $113m on a $13m budget and got nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar (losing to Top Gun) Part II was a good and enjoyable film which deserves far more credit than to be rated this low, for that it deserves respect.

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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years

Text

Cottage Witch Journal Entry

Good Afternoon, Everyone!

It is chilly outside, and my nose has been red since the wind hit it. A warm air is wafting over my body like a blanket in my cozy little office, making me feel comfortable. My mind is filled with daydreams and thoughts of what is right and what is wrong. My center seems to be no where in sight, and yet I am calm.

I want to tell you all how my journey has been so far since my last journal entry.

Just to recap, I set some goals for myself last time. I wanted to be more aware of my eating habits, forming a work out routine to do everyday, and learn to do a split by the end of the month. These three goals are small, and have almost no real direction or layout for how they were to be conducted.

And yet, it worked. At least a little bit!

You see, I’m training my mind right now to see tracking my eating as a fun habit. I have a theory that I overthink my weight a lot of the time and completely miss the point of weight loss in general. I still get to this state of mind where if I feel as though I should feel bad for feeding myself. And this can be induced by small things people say around me. With my mind using hyperbole to hype up what they are saying, it convinces me that my eating habits are the reason they feel the way they do.

I never used to be a jealous girlfriend, I never used to be insecure, lithe in personality or even submissive. I used to be extremely dominant, defensive, independent and confident with my steps. Hell, I joined singing competitions because in my head, I knew I’d do great. But now, I bail on musical rehearsals simply because my energy isn’t right. And after last nights episode, I fucking guess I get jealous of video games now, too! Fucking stupid.

So imagine, I’ve been on this awareness journey with my eating habits. This goal being the main one I wanted to focus on this month, and have sufficiently lost a couple of pounds simply from changing the way I eat. With that being said, I’ve still felt ill about myself. So, while my boyfriend was playing Cyberpunk 2077 last night, he mentioned he loved and wanted to marry Judy because, “She’s a version of his High School self.” (as seen above. A bad bitch tech wizard who is literally the definition of independence).

Judy is a bad bitch, I’d marry her too!!! I love how sure of herself she is and how she wants a revolution. But, for some reason, this comment didn’t settle with me correctly. Regardless of my mental efforts, an actual war was going on in my head. Negative thoughts popped up about how tiny and lithe she was in stature, while being confident, distant and strong in nature, while I was a big girl who was shy, quiet and submissive/passive. I was comparing myself to a game....a game character I related to, for that matter?! I had just taken a bite of food when he said he loved her, but I stopped chewing all together the moment he said it.

The food sat in my mouth for what felt like hours as I contemplated whether it would be acceptable to just spit it in the trash, but my grandmother who lives 45 minutes out of town drove it to me because she knew it was my favorite...smoked salmon. The thoughts running through my head included, “If you don’t eat this bite, you could get skinny like Judy faster.” & “Spit it out, pig, he’s trying to tell you something.” I ended up spitting it in the trash after thirty minutes of holding it between my gums and cheek and hating on myself.

Thankfully, I STILL HAVE SALMON LEFT OVER AND WILL NEVER QUESTION WHETHER TO EAT THAT BITE OR NOT EVER AGAIN!!!! Rationalizing myself in the moment, though, was almost impossible. My boyfriend didn’t notice much because I was simply staring quietly at the TV, his voice coming in and out every once in a while followed by my curt response.

Now, this is not his fault. Him and I had a discussion a while ago regarding this and I openly said it was okay for him to talk like that in front of me about other women. I’m a feminist and love seeing women do awesome and bad ass things. I also love talking about bad ass women! He had my consent, and knows nothing of what is going on in my mind right now, so genuinely this is not a him problem.

This is a me problem. This is a me problem I have had for a very long time regarding my body issues, my mental health and my willingness to be open about it. Which I’m not. I never tell people what’s going on because not everyone is a therapist, which is what I need and cannot afford. It’s easier to not say something.

So going back to Judy. After my moment of absolute self hatred, my boyfriend mentioned something to me that seemed to pull me out of this waterfall of feelings and thoughts. He started talking to me about things we were wanting to do together.

I realized that he wasn’t thinking as hard as I was about Judy. He simply loves and enjoys the character and the interactions he has with the character. That type of woman is the type he admires. But she’s a made up fictional character. That’s when the thought hit me, “He calls you a bad bitch all the time. You guys mirrored each other quite a bit in High School. You were independent before him. Carly, you’ve started depending on an approval he doesn’t realize you are expecting. And that’s something you should be expecting from yourself.”

I put weight in the words of a man who thought his sentence was light as a feather. Things started clicking and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my mouth. I had just spit food out over a situation I had created in my head. I would be Judy today if I were in a post-apocalyptic world, had I not put so much weight into depending on others for things, I would probably be Judy in todays Rona Revolution! The point is, Judy is a set of characteristics dressed up and made pretty for the success of a video game. No one is exactly like her because she isn’t real.

But I am. And personality is a choice. No, I won’t change myself, but I want to be more myself. I want to be the me uninfluenced by others opinions of me. I want to be the me that can alternate from being prissy to being tomboy. So, I want to make a list of things that make me truly happy. I want to lay out the part of me that I love, and I want to strive to accomplish more of the things I love.

1. Fixing my own car. I was told in High School that shop class was a boys class. It was my first option as a recreational hour, and they decided to put me in something else. I slowly lost interest in vehicles as a whole and pushed it to the side, depending on everyone else to fix my car for me. This is bullshit, and I want to fix my own fucking car from now on. It won’t get done otherwise.

2. MMA Fighting/Boxing. Like my piano career, this dream stopped once my teacher stopped showing up. I want to defend myself and be physically strong, I also want to say I went through something rigorous without giving up. I want this for me, myself and I. I’m tired of calling people in parking lots at night when I’m scared.

3. Yoga. I brought this up in my last post, I bring it up again because this a priority of mine that goes unnoticed frequently. I need this physical practice for my mental health, I always feel happier and healthier when I can do yoga, so there’s no excuse for me to NOT invest in this.

4. Independence. I don’t need anyone, who is in my life is here because I want them here. I don’t need anyone to make money for me, I’ll work. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m beautiful, I know. I don’t need people telling me what to wear, it’s my choice. I want to be myself again, not everyone else collectively.

5. Music/Art. This is a part of my soul that heals with the hit of the play button. It should have never stopped being at the forefront of my life.

6. Reading and Writing. I don’t give myself time to do this, yet I have plenty of time to do everything. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, but boredom ain’t it sis! This is how I process my thoughts and organize my mind, so it should be imperative.

7. Self-Love Rituals. I want to start putting effort into rituals that mean something to me and my craft. This includes bath rituals, cooking or baking rituals, or even smoke rituals. Either way, it’s a portion of my craft I neglect, and shouldn’t.

8. Go places by myself and face my anxiety. I always shoved my anxiety to the side and trained my brain to replace it with excitement. It worked for a long time, and then I lost my confidence and Independence. I need to focus on myself to accomplish this one. But I shouldn’t be nervous or scared going into public to get shit I want or need. Period. No one is focusing on me, so why should I focus on them?

9. Sing in my car. I was recorded while singing passionately in my car twice this year. My anxious mind claimed they were making fun of me, and one was indeed laughing at me. BUT FUCK IT. Who cares if they record me or make fun of me or not? Why am I stopping my happiness because you think it’s funny? Fuck that, I’m too bad of a bitch to be worried about people who waste their time in that manner. I’ll give them a show next time. I refuse to be the victim anymore to anyone, including myself.

There is nothing stopping me except myself from pursuing the things in life that make me happy. Being aware of my own state of mind helped me realize this. And typing this out has helped me truly start the process of change for the better.

As for my actual monthly goals; they are still in tact! Again, making myself aware of my eating has forced me to be mindful of the things I put into my body, including drinks. As a result of better habits forming, I’ve dropped a few pounds. Losing weight is not the goal, but the result of accomplishing my goal. As for exercise, I have started small by working on my legs and glutes. I have been doing up to 20 Jump Squats every day or every other day. This, of course, isn’t a routine, but it is progress from where I was doing nothing. As a result, my booty and thighs have been looking good and my number of squats has been going up! I haven’t created anything yoga wise yet, but anticipate on forming something sustainable once I have gotten into the habit of my squats. Saving $100 was not the best goal to set for the month of December (not the wisest move of a notorious over spender on gifts) BUT I still want this to happen, so! Rather than worrying about saving $100, I will focus on making sure I survive this month without over drafting. I already have and am in the negatives by 80 something dollars, but for the rest of the month, and into next year, I will shut down my checking account with that bank, keep my savings, and start using that as my emergency debit card.

I’m doing better. I’m noticing progress. It’s small, but worth the tiniest amount of effort. I still struggle, and I will in the future, but right now I’m doing well. I will continue this journey with pride.

I also want to learn more in regards to shadow work, and incorporating my craft into my workout routines, so if any of you actually reads this and has any ideas, let me know! Being healthy is the main goal!!!!!

I appreciate those who read this or support it or even relate to it a bit. My last entry received a nasty comment, explaining how I was a basic bitch who needed to be educated and needed to stay out of the thinspo tag. For anyone who feels compelled to do that, just know you are much more emotionally invested in it than I am at that point. I simply don’t give 1, 2 or even 3 types of fucks about it. I’m doing this for me, if you follow then thank you, but if not then thank you for kindly leaving me alone.

I want to be me. Me alone, me without help, me with me. I still want to be with my boyfriend, and I know I have his support here, but this is my battle and I can’t rely on him to fix me or make me feel like me again. I am responsible for myself.

I’m doing better, and will continue to do so! Just let me know you guys’ thoughts, ideas or even experiences you may have went/are going through like this. I appreciate you all!

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octoshott · 3 years

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I already know the answer to 💐 for alexandra but I need you to tell the public anyways. also, 🥀 for alexandra as well, 🌠 for quill (I think quill's a level 8 Baby), 💦 for stag, and 🌳 for rufus

TELL THE PU BL IC WHAT??? THAT SHES A BRAT?? DFGKJH. okay okay.

gunna have to put this under a read more.

For Alex

How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

Awful. Genuinely unbearable. This woman acts like she has to work 24/7 or her bones will turn into sawdust. She will do anything she can to stay out of a bed, her getting any kind of illness aggravates her to no extent and she makes sure everyone around her knows that. I’d say the main people who fuss over her most is, understandably, Cornelius as its his fucking job but probably Florence? and definitely Quill. Even though she’s usually denied entry as not to catch or spread anything Alex might have.

I wouldn’t say she hates being doted on. She’s prideful and it does feel odd to have someone literally take care of her in that sense because no ones done that since her parents but in a weird way she does appreciate it and shes not one to not thank someone looking out for her. She mind drive Cornelius insane with how much she doesn’t do what he asks but she will thank him at the end of the day when she finally agrees to sleep for a bit.

It’s very much a “thank you, I really appreciate all of this... but also I am getting out of the bed.”

Being reversed on the other hand. Alexandra cares a lot of for folks, she isn’t the best at knowing what to do if they’re sick but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t try. She’s always been one to do what she can for other people if she has the means to, it’s why she tries to stay so in tune with her crew and actively ask them if there’s anything that can be done to help if something is truly bothering them. And then all of this kinda got turned up to an 11 when Quill came on board because.

Well. It’s. Quill. Alexandra had honestly never felt the actual fear of someone getting sick until Quill got sick when she was younger and it actually had her kind of frazzled, because this was no longer an adult she could offer support to this was a child that was her responsibility. She is actually a surprisingly good caregiver though, she’s very diligent and focused with making sure someone is recovering well but not as strict as someone like Cornelius. She won’t give someone too much shit for wanting to get up when they’re sick because hey haha handshake emoji.

How would your OC decorate a notebook or journal? What kind of things are written in there? Could you give an example of a nice entry?

Alexandra, for the most part, has a very. Confusing way of writing. She writes pure chicken scratch for one and a lot of her notes can end up sounding utterly confusing. She’s not one to draw unless she REALLY has to because shes not very confident or even really that comfortable with sketching something. Quill’s always been the better visual artist even if her artistic skills aren’t really that great either.

She’ll often find herself writing things down like ‘Solid Iron. Fire. Moth’s Wing.’ which makes no fucking sense but then she’d explain that something she’s researching will most likely be made out of solid iron, have something to do or be aligned with fire elements and its rumored to cause a supposed affect when Moth’s Wings are used as fuel. But to anyone else its like what the fuck am I reading.

She actually struggles writing coherently a lot of the time but she had to for her own novels, those honestly ate up so much of her time journeying back from places which was a blessing and a curse because she’d much rather be enjoying being out and about on the deck and enjoying the trip back to land instead of cooped up in her god damn quarters trying to recap shit.

An example of a more put together entry that you’d find in her novels would be something like:

‘I believe one of the many things we came across and managed to get our hands on was a Belt of Dwarvenkind. For any readers who might not know what such items are rumored to do let me explain. If you’re not of Dwarven Lineage for starters you can write, read and even speak Dwarvish. (I can confirm, firsthand, that this is very much true. It was one of the first things I ran to check once we got back to my dear ship.) Your vision in the dark improves exceedingly well and according to most sources I could find you handling poisonings or anything that perhaps might have a bit more of a poisonous sting to its arsenal a lot more thoroughly. As much as I’m sure you’re all dying to know my findings on that one I wasn’t exactly in the mood this evening to put that one to the test.

Though anyone who wears this belt will immediately feel a lot more thoroughly stronger and resilient and I can vouch. There’s also mentions of it being worn makes speaking to Dawrven kind a lot more smoother though that implies that Dwarves aren’t already a wonderful bunch to converse with. Attuning to such an item felt like a no-brainer with all of these wonderful effects but alas three things stood in my way. Belt’s like this don’t exactly suit me, secondly I’d rather give these artifacts the proper home they deserve to be studied in more depth and have at the ready instead of being here with me and I always uphold to that and third... From what little knowledge I could grab, there appears to be a rather common chance for people who don this belt to grow out a full-on beard and... Unfortunately, due to wanting to attempt to attune to the belt and test a few things out I’d rolled rather luckily on such a chance, if you can call it that. So I can confirm firsthand that this side-effect of sorts is entirely true for this belt. Unless something cursed me back in that building to grow a beard. You can never tell’

For Quill(and techincally me)

On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC? BONUS when asking this question rate the OC yourself as see if the reply matches up!!

I’d say an 8 is pretty much there. 7-8 would’ve been my guess. She might try to act big and strong and put on a whole show of it but really... she is just a soft idiot who really wants to rest her head in someones lap and have her hair played with.

For Stag!

If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

Honestly? I’d say her dad passing away, especially in the originally way I saw it. As much as its important to the story beats of Stag’s own story, its something as of late I wouldn’t mind reworking into something else. Though I’m also okay with it staying.

And Rufus!!!

What is your OC’s favourite way to relax after a stressful day? Do they have a favourite book to curl up with? A hobby? Or do they have a nice bubble bath and have an early night to bed?

Rufus likes to sit and watch things. An ideal evening for them would be watching some birds try to find things for their nests, watching ants carry things back to help their colony. Watching the way the wind shakes the trees as the sun starts to set.

If there’s nothing really available to focus on reading is their usual go to. They like to read outside if they can, and just gather their thoughts or cook with their mother. Gardening also comes to mind if they really need something to do with their hands but thats only if they’re utterly frustrated and need something to actually focus that negative energy into.

#my GOD THIS IS FUCKING LONG IM SO SORRY #my ocs #rufus #quill #alexandra #stag #agent 3 #dnd #splatoon #SORRY FOR HTE LENGTH.#nevermore117

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