#that goes for smartphones too

[goatsorcery]

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids

#side note but ipad babies are such a rich people thing too #like you’re gonna give your kid something that cost $400 and has an easily breakable screen? #that goes for smartphones too

[gender-euphowrya]

thing about my grandma is if i don't answer her calls like .4 seconds after my phone starts ringing she goes ''what if i was DYING and you DIDN'T ANSWER :(" but then the same grandma doesn't take her cellphone with her when she goes out

#and i'm like sis what if you're DYING but you're not at home and can't call me because you don't have your god damn phone #what's the point of a cellphone you leave at home. that's just a landline that can play candy crush #like we got her a special phone for seniors that has an emergency button and everything #like even if she's in danger and doesn't have time to unlock her phone or fiddle with menus she just presses it and it calls me #so y'know pretty damn good Especially since she's someone who worries a lot about injuring herself and needing help #but then she just. doesn't take the damn thing with her when she goes places #all because she's not too good at using it just yet. girl you got it like 3 weeks ago #this is her first ever smartphone. of course you're not gonna know how to use it well right away #it's a fucking touch screen. you touch the thing you want to do. #this phone doesn't have like the traditional app layout it has big buttons that group actions together #like CALL. you press that it takes you to a lisr like Call from contacts. Write the number you want to call. See recent calls. #legit all you need to do to get how to use this phone is know how to read #SEE button -> See messages. See pictures. See recent calls. #SEND button -> Send message. Send email. Send picture. #it's all just so straightforward and well explained #but she acts like it's operating a fucking space shuttle ffdkjdkddk #i'm not blaming her for not being tech-savvy like few people of her age are #but like. i can't find you a phone that's easier to use grams This is as simplified as it gets

[dduane]

Do you have any recommendations on what to do when you can’t write?

I’ve been struggling to write for years, but telling stories is all I want to do. I have ideas and plots and characters all figured out! But actually getting the words onto paper? I just can’t do it. There’s a mental block or something getting in the way.

I want to write, I so badly do. I want to tell my stories! But no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I love the story, the words never work properly. I can day dream scenes up perfectly, but as soon as I’m near paper the words all vanish.

I guess what I’m actually asking is: how did you defeat the blank page?

Well, first of all, I can confidently tell you that your storytelling per se is working just fine. You just told me a perfectly cogent story right there, in writing. So that's good to know.

Now let me put your mind a little at rest by telling you something reassuring about the Writer's Brain:

It's not the sharpest knife in the block, if you take my meaning. It can be tricked. It can be fooled. It can be bamboozled into working when it doesn't want to... sometimes with embarrassing ease. (And this approach is, by and large, far preferable to sitting around over-analyzing one's interior life to figure out what went wrong with your developmental process somewhere in the dim lost past. Just hornswoggle the silly thing into working and then do the analysis later, if you can be bothered.)

Sometimes just changing something basic in the process the Writer's Brain is expecting is enough to make it lose the plot (so to speak...) and let you get on with work. And in your case I'd say, more or less immediately: Have you tried telling the story to yourself out loud, recording it, and then transcribing the recording?

Because this problem is a commonplace among storytellers. Sit them down in the pub and give them tea or a drink and start them going, and you'll get half an effortless hour of hilarious prose about What The Cat Did In The Middle Of The Night or When The Neighbors Were Fighting In The Street Again Yesterday. But show them blank paper, or an empty screen, and (now that the pressure to perform is suddenly in place) they freeze.

So try doing an end run around your writing brain. Borrow or otherwise procure a little recorder of some kind. (Or if you've got a smartphone, add a voice recording app to it.) Go get comfortable somewhere and get yourself into that daydream state, and then—making sure the recorder's on—start talking.

It doesn't have to be perfect unblemished prose. The pursuit of that comes later, after draft zero-minus-one. Just tell the story... or some of it. Or a fragment of it. Even a few paragraphs is a triumph, in a situation like this. You may, during the recording, have to talk yourself into the story stage by starting out talking about something else first. Let that happen.

Then when you're done recording, listen to it and transcribe it (typed or handwritten, as you please).

And maybe a day later, do this again. And a day or two later, once more. And so forth.

You're going to have to keep at this, because your Writer's Brain may start suspecting what you're up to, and try throwing spanners into the works. (Its favorite being "Oh, this isn't working, I may as well give up..." Pay no attention to that nagging little voice behind the curtain. Just keep doing what you're doing. Persistence is a superpower.)

The thing to keep reminding yourself, as you settle into this process, is that sooner or later the WB's resistance is going to flag, because you really do want to tell stories. It does too. What you have to teach it is that—to coin a phrase—resistance is useless. :)

Anyway: give this a try. You'll need to be doing this daily for at least a couple of months to find out whether it works or not. So let me know how it goes.

(BTW: once you've broken through the barrier, you may well find that dictation is a good routine way for you to generate your first draft. At that point—should you feel inclined to go a little higher-tech than recording and hand transcription—let me recommend Dragon Anywhere. This is a month-to-month subscription version of Dragon's flagship text to speech program—the one @petermorwood and I got Terry Pratchett to use when he started having difficulty typing. I use Anywhere a lot, on days when it's easier to write stretched out or lying down than it is sitting up. It transcribes what you say, and then you can just email it to yourself and cut-and-paste it into your writing document. Very handy.)

Hope this helps!

#writing #writing advice #the Writer's Brain #storytelling

[mphountitled]

𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 & 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩

: ̗̀➛ Mattheo Riddle x Fem!reader | Brief!Harry Potter x fem!reader

: ̗̀➛ Summary: Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder.

: ̗̀➛ Warnings: Alcoholism, Dark!fic, Ravenclaw!reader, Bullying, Unrequited Love, Shy!reader, Toxic Relationship, Jealousy, Narcissism, Weaponizing!Harry (sorry boo), Fluff, A bit of Angst, Smut +18 (Minors DNI), DubCon, Semi Public sex, Unprotected Sex, Oral Sex, Masturbation, Dom/Sub, CNC, humping, Spitting, Degradation, Dacryphillia, Choking, Gagging, Subspace, Slapping, Sadism, Breeding Kink

5k words

A/N: Hell truly is empty. I apologise in advance.

You have made peace with the incomparable fact, long ago, that if the muggle God existed - if he is known to shepard Muggles and Wizards alike, then he was far too busy to attend to you. There is just too much going on all at once. The wizarding world is caught in its archaic intolerance of Half-Bloods. On the mortal side, you were informed from your private tutoring with Professor McGonagall that their smartphones are threatening devolution.

“It’s the closest thing they’ve got to a wand, Lovie, so we can’t really fault them on that, can we?” 6 years into your schooling at Hogwarts and you would continue to shadow Professor McGonagall, hoping you might one day soar to her heights of academic prestige in the wizarding world. You needed to be a Professor as much as a mortal needs to breathe….

You cannot let him, of all people, ruin things. Your reputation is a fragile, flammable thing - and he is freaking Kerosene.

It's difficult to pinpoint when it started or how your sensibilities rushed away from you so swiftly. One moment you’re planting your textbook on the face of a wooden desk - the sound reaching the rafters in the highest peak of the deserted classroom…

“A Guide To Advanced Transfiguration.” Mattheo read the title aloud with a tedious uninterested drawl. “Seems a bit presumptuous to shove this down my throat so early on. Shouldn't we be starting from the beginning?"

You ignored him promptly, using the silence to arrange your colour coordinated stationery on your desk beside Riddle's,

“I had no idea," You began, brushing off your blue lined robes and flattening the invisible creases on your skirt, "-That the person residing under my tutelage would be a first year."

Riddle stabbed the inside of his mouth with his tongue, while his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Your face remained passive as you continued, "You are a sixth year, correct?” You asked with a snide tilt of the head before planting yourself on the desk beside him.

“You are a big boy capable of understanding big boy books,” Unbeknownst to you, your words managed to stir something foreign within Mattheo but he conceals it with his usual veneer of arrogance as he swings his head lazily in your direction.

"May we begin?" You asked, with your back straightened - inches away from his hand now hanging on your chair.

"In a bit…" he says, "Just..." his voice trails off as his eyes scan over your visage, likely assessing it like an unseen tapestry. The truth is, Riddle did not know you prior to being forced under your tutelage. His droopy brown eyes appeared even more so as he broke the distance between you two and studied you closer. A tense silence grew pregnant in the ancient classroom, and your resolve was beginning to slip. Only one thought inflated a puddle of anxiety in your stomach:

Could this be your first kiss? Is this what first kisses looked like? Could this be your very first brush of intimacy overall?

Your brain failed to rationalise and compartmentalise his attraction, but your heart pushed your head closer.

"Call me a big boy again..." He had whispered… which evidently led you here.

Your lesson had ended with your hand covered in his release and a breathless smirk painted across his face. "This goes without saying," he breathed out with a satisfied smirk, "But tell anyone about this, and you're dead."

Ever since that day, your tutoring has been but a veneer of something much more sinister. When you were thrusted into the light of day, Mattheo overlooked you as did lots of his Slytherin friends. Besides the occasional threat and vague insult, you mean nothing to him.

When you two are alone, however, as you are right now, he would enchant you into servitude, lightly pushing your head down while he kissed you silly until your knees were planted on the hardwood floor.

Mattheo briefly opens his eyes to peer down at you. It is then when you notice the fresh bruise dotting the side of his face, and his pillowy lips split by a small incursion. He had very clearly gotten into another fight..

“Your mouth feels so fucking good when you're not using it to be a smart ass,” His words illicit a bubble of heat inside you.

Despite all this, you are clearly aware of the fact that you should not be enjoying this at all. Not one bit. For starters, you can feel the old wooden floors digging into the meat of your knees and the crisp winter chill is unkind to your scantily dressed state. Your shirt is unbuttoned because Mattheo was like a moth to a fucking flame when it came to your ample breasts and his hand is buried tightly in your kinky curls, forcing his cock even further down your throat. The very bones of Hogwarts seem to be in vehement protest of your blatant whorishness.

3 silver chains hang from his neck as he plants his other hand against the wall behind you, blocking your kneeling frame between both him and cold, hard stone. You crane your neck back, keeping a half lidded gaze on the jewelry that drives you feral with lust. You are content imagining that perhaps, when he is getting ready in the slytherin common rooms, he wears the silver for you. A fanciful thought but one that consistently has your intestines weaving themselves into knots.

That, paired with his striking, jet black blazer, which is discarded somewhere in the abandoned classroom, has you keening and fighting to take even more of him into your mouth. Perhaps you were peacocking a little - flatting your tongue so his cock slid seamlessly to the back of your throat while you fought to ignore the pain blossoming on your scalp. He had turned you from an inexperienced nun to something you're not quite ready to examine yet.

"You're finally putting this head of yours to good use…" Despite his feigned arrogance you're utterly delighted knowing that only you can bring Mattheo to such an utterly restless state. He does not really know what to do with himself.

Not when you took so much of him, so well.

You clench your toes.

Feeling himself get too close, Mattheo eases his cock fully out of your mouth, languidly stroking himself but still assuming a firm grip on your scalp. He is operating on that very specific plain of narcissism that was special to Mattheo. He is aware of your presence, physically, but his words are spoken into the open air, like you are an inanimate object. A glorified toy.

"Are all Ravenclaws as compliant as you are?”

You bring a crisp white sleeve up to your lips, wiping away the excess drool as you remain kneeled in front of him, knowing he has yet to finish.

"If you ever think of finding out," your voice is hoarse, "this will be the last time I offer you any free study sessions."

"Is money all you seek?" He attempts to feign composure, continuing to languidly stroke his cock. "How utterly greedy. I thought- fuck… - I thought you were far more philosophical than that"

You watch hungrily as Mattheo bites on his pillowy bottom lip. He is prolonging the release, taking his time as he usually did... "If you plan on edging yourself in my mouth instead of actually finishing the job, I do have other commitments to attend to-"

He ignores you... his brows furrowing and smoothening at odd intervals as he continues to touch himself while studying you.

"We may not be studying… but I still intend to pass Transfiguration, hope you're aware." He punctuates his sentence with an breathless laugh- it blossoms across his usually stoic visage, raising his buttercup cheekbones towards his smiling eyes.

As he talks, you examine his scars and feel the slow essence of admiration seep into the pit of your stomach. An arguably pathetic feat, given that your feelings will not ever be reciprocated.

Brewing inside you is the need to take care of him. You knew the rest of the student body viewed Mattheo as a glorified parasite. Something that is only capable of thinking within the capacity of its own means. Something that takes, and takes, and occasionally jokes around, and takes. But how could he know anything different? You suspected that his home life was built on the foundation of survival, on needing to be the loudest, and proudest, and worst of them all.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The sharpness of his words slice through your thoughts, bringing you back to yourself. Mattheo's gaze is placed firmly on something down below. Throughout his mindless tirade, your hand had taken to rubbing soft, comforting circles against the leg of his pants, quite literally on its own accord. Mattheo is bent over, head tilted as he watches you questioningly. Seconds stretch to a minute, and your stomach sinks as time passes.

Eventually, he dismisses you. He shakes his head. "Whatever," He says, tilting your head back and lining your mouth with the head of his cock once more. His visage darkens into a cruel sadistic grin. "Tell me you want me to come in your mouth."

Almost instinctively, you do as he orders and like clockwork, you swallow his cum, wondering if he knew how deeply and truly your words actually were. There was a moment, perhaps imagined, in which his fingers gripping your hair, melted to the side of your soft, supple cheek. It stays there for longer than necessary, leaving bits and pieces of your composure scattered in its wake.

Mattheo soon straightens his posture, stuffing his flaccid cock back into his pants before making himself as presentable to the student body as they know him to be (which admittedly is not a lot) And before he turns to walk away, he leaves you stranded on a glacier with his ice cold words cutting deep into your beating heart.

"Tell anyone about this-"

"And I'm dead," You interject, "I know."

And with that, you pull your ruffled collar over your lint-free school jersey and check your reflection to assess the damage Mattheo and his iron grip might have left. You needn't wait for an extension on the conversation because your job here was done, (pun so malevolently intended).

As far as Mattheo is concerned, you are an easy conduit to release his frustrations through because your unpopularity makes you so incredibly inconspicuous. You blend into any given crowd at any given moment, your name seldom reaching the heights of ridicule among his group because you are so unforgettable… There had been no reason to point out your flaws, not because you did not have any, but because you were simply invisible.

It is particularly strange to have any social interaction beyond the bounds of group projects and class discussions… so Harry Potter gifting you even a sliver of attention had been violently unorthodox. So unorthodox, in fact, you failed to look up from the weathered pages of your novel when his gentle voice wafted in your direction during a rare free period in Study of Ancient Runes. Your professor has been summoned quite promptly by the headmaster and has yet to return. The class has been in a state of havoc ever since.

"I don't know if you're aware of this but…" A deep shadow over the pages alerted you to his presence, "They both die at the end."

It was incredibly rare that Potter, who sat at the desk directly in front of you, ever felt the need to strike up conversation that was not purely academic. Gryffindors made use of Ravenclaws as often as Slytherins.

So naturally, you peer curiously up at him…

"Sorry?"

"Y-Your book. It's a muggle book, isn't it? I haven't seen anything with a cover like that around here. It's refreshing. Everything in the wizarding world is ancient and leatherbound." He mumbles as his index finger slides into the collar of his red quidditch jersey. He finds himself suddenly overcome by a wave of embarrassment even though there was nothing at all to be embarrassed about… he turns his chair slightly in your direction, his eyes darting to the door and the empty teacher's seat before meeting yours once more.

"'They Both Die At The End." He says, pointing towards the title.

"Oh…" You affirm, rocking your head back and forth, "You were making a joke?"

"No," Harry snickers before waving a large hand in dismissal, "Evidently, the only thing I 'made' was a complete and utter fool of myself."

You're not sure when it happens but you feel the lower half of your face melting into what you suspect is a smile. You can feel your shoulders relaxing and your novel lowering imperceptibly.

"Work on your delivery next time and maybe we'll be getting somewhere."

"Is that how it is!?" Harry asked, pleasantly surprised by your banter, "- I could've sworn I had a shred of dignity before the start of this conversation. Now I'm not quite sure where that went."

Mattheo's feet pass over the threshold as soon as the sound of your laughter rushes past him. It is almost charming in its familiarity but incredibly curious in its rarity. He can't recall ever seeing you with your head thrown back while the instinctive sound of amusement races through your throat. He does not know he's staring until Draco shoves past him, to get to their own seats in the front of the class.

His eyes remain on you as he makes his way to his desk, hoping, perhaps, that you would turn your head infinitesimally, in acknowledgment of his presence.

You do nothing of the sort, and it not only fills him with a weird sort of dissatisfaction but it bubbles into full blown vexation when he realises who is capturing your attention so viscerally.

Mattheo has never prided himself on his patience or tolerance.

Overthinking is something he consistently lives without.

Most of his actions were spurred from things he felt in the now, and he was really fucking uncomfortable with what was happening now.

His glances at the front of the class before finding you once more in the very back corner of the class. He notices that Harry is stationed in front of you but the seat beside you is completely deserted.

Did you not have friends?

And more importantly; how did he never notice until now?

What if…

Perhaps if he…

"You didn't let me know we were having a picnic," The sound of a chair scraping against the tiles had both you and Harry rallying into silence. Mattheo appears at your side, pushing the chair against yours so he, too, sits facing Potter - who suddenly appears incredibly uneasy. Gone is the comfortable atmosphere cooked by easy and amicable conversation. Mattheo injecting himself into your little bubble created a suddenly charged and suffocating atmosphere. You cannot keep your wide eyes off Mattheo as he lowers himself to his chair beside you with his legs spread as he slouches down, like he always does.

"Don't stop on my accord," He exclaims, completely oblivious to the fact that your professor might walk in at any minute. "What were we talking about?" Your heart wrestles in your chest as you see him turn to address you. His slouching puts him a level lower than you, but it does nothing to lessen his intimidation.

"Maybe I should ask, Potter?" Mattheo turns his attention to the front, "What were you lot talking about?" There is not a trace of friendliness present in Riddle's tone. In fact, it's the very opposite. Your nerves, swelling with anxiety, only escalate into full-on panic when you feel him place a large hand on your skirt under the table.

Harry's voice is low and his eyes are trained on the floor, "Books-"

"Books!" Mattheo cuts him off with sarcastic fervour, "How utterly fascinating!" The hyperbolic wonder in his tone is utterly rude and unbecoming, but you look down at your desk in blatant anger. Refusing to be a part of whatever this is.

"And tell me, Potter, how many books have you read so far?"

It is then that Riddle's once stationary hand begins the faintest trace of movement. He begins slow and tame, his callouses barely registering on the soft fabric until his fingers prod the lining of your skirt…

Your breath hitches in your throat.

Never had Mattheo ever displayed a desire to touch you. Not in the way he made you touch him. It was made explicitly clear that only he would benefit from your secret rendezvous' and so you were left to deal with your aching cunt alone, with the image of the face he made when he came, still burned into your mind. It had never been about you.

"A couple,'' says Harry, fighting to show this bully that he was unaffected by his intimidation. If only he knew that with every advance Mattheo's palm made, you were slipping farther and farther away.

"A couple books?" Asks Riddle for clarity. He remains lax and languid on the inside, but the nature of his wandering hand underneath the desk tells a new story.

He finally slips under your skirt.

His palm connects with the softness of your thighs and he seems utterly pleased by it. His hand is immediately restless to explore how far you would let him go. Which isn't very far.

Not at all.

If he thought he could suddenly touch you after myriad occasions of using you like a discarded toy… he had another thing coming.

The tips of Mattheo's fingers make gradually increasing strokes along your thigh until his fingers prod the stretch marks on your inner thigh. It is there when you stop him, clenching your legs together, blocking his hand from any further movement.

Mattheo's voice is strained as he says, "And you like reading, Potter?"

Sensing something brewing between the two of you - your withdrawn, hazy gaze, staring directly through the desk and Mattheo's overabundance in questions, has Harry reeling backwards.

"I asked you a question, Harry."

"I like reading."

"Good! That's really good!" Quite suddenly, Riddle tilts the ends of his half-moon nails into your thigh. His nails bite into your skin, forcing them to weaken and unclamp. Before you're even able to think, his palm is cupping your cunt through your panties- forcing an indecent yelp from your throat which you quickly (and very badly) disguise as a cough.

Mattheo is utterly pleased while he continues mindlessly stroking your cunt. Not for the purpose of any glorious stimulation. His hand is just there to show you (and perhaps maybe himself) that he has access to the most private part of you.

That thought alone has an unforeseen and sudden wave of lust coursing through his veins and surging straight to his hardened cock. He thinks of all the things he could have done to you but failed to do. He thinks about how, up until this point, he had ever been satisfied with using your mouth alone, not when he was denying himself the softness of your pussy all along.

He felt angry with himself, for being so fucking stupid, he is angry at Potter for seeing whatever it is he saw in you, way before he did and, possibly most harrowing of all is the fact that he is angry with you. And he can't help but be angry at you. How easily you whore yourself out to any and every man. If this thing with Potter had gone far enough, would you replace him? Had you even fucked Potter before?

You bite down on your lower lip as your head bows even further into your book. The words blend into one another, and all you can feel is a rise in temperature and Mattheo's suddenly restless fingers, pressing rudely against your clit - for the sole purpose of ripping an orgasm out of you right then and there, at the very back of an unsupervised classroom, with Harry Potter still very much a part of the conversation.

"You've got so many books to read in your lifetime," Says Mattheo. He sits up slowly, likely spurred on by the dampness seeping through your panties. "Don't cut your long life short by trying to entertain other people's girlfriends, yeah?" Gone are any traces of feigned friendliness. "Fucking Mudblood,"

Your skin feels like you are bathing in magma and you hope Potter could not see the slight tremor in your hand as you gripped the sides of your book with more force than necessary.

Mattheo's words… they have you shifting forward and widening your legs minutely. You crave for nothing more than to roll your hips in tandem with the circles he's pressing against your clit.

"Understood?"

Your orgasm is dangerously close, with the promise of sheer, disgusting shame and embarrassment if he continues. You feel Harry give you one final curious look, perhaps pleading for an interjection of denial at some point but you've taken to bouncing your knee under the table, hoping the vibrations might create enough friction to aid Mattheo's hands. He is keeping you trapped in a space of wanting. So much so, that this almost feels like a punishment.

Once Harry is turned back around and facing the front of the class, Mattheo lowers his lips to your ears. The damp smell of firewhiskey floods your nostril and you realise that he is completely drunk. In the second lesson of the day.

However, you're so completely stimulated, even the warmth of his breath as you fight the urge to hump into his hand like a lost little puppy until you make a mess all over his hand.

"You're such a fucking slut, you know that?" Your book drops to your desk - muffled by the sounds of the classroom cacophony. "You like being humiliated like this?" He asks, almost in complete awe. It takes everything in you not to moan outright.

"Fuck," You whisper to yourself, blinking your eyes shut, warding off the need but to no avail. His fingers are long and limber, and they have you nearly cumming right there, in front of your entire fucking class. Had it not been for your Professor's haphazard arrival into the class, and the swift removal of Mattheo's fingers from between your legs… you might truly have become the slut he labelled you as.

Instead of moving to his designated seat, Riddle raises his hand for the professor… the very same hand that has previously been in between your legs.

"Yes, Mr Riddle?" Asks the Professor, his voice as lacklustre as his appearance.

"May we be excused? We were excused by Professor Slughorn to assist him in-"

"Fine, fine," Says the professor with a wave of dismissal before turning his attention to the rest of the class. "The rest of you, open your textbooks to page 56."

Riddle's hand is clamped around your forearm, already leading you swiftly out the door in a long and wide stride. Had it been any other teacher at all, they might have recognized this for what it so clearly was.

"Here," you have barely made it fully into the boy's bathroom before Mattheo is stuffing his fingers down your throat, making you gag and yelp at the sudden intrusion. "Tell me how good you taste." He doesn't even bother to make sure you're truly left alone in the bathroom before pushing your front against the bathroom sink.

"Is that good?" His voice is as sweet as honey as he forces his fingers deeper down your throat, causing you to cough and gag around them.

Mattheo has half his sense to pull his wand from his back pocket, and without turning around, whispers "Colloportus," and the heavy doors snap shut.

You're supposed to be afraid because you've never seen him like this. Mattheo is always a ball of sarcastic energy between trysts, but it's usually an energy he can somewhat contain.

You don't know what to do with him, not when he's watching you choke on his fingers through the mirror, while his other hand fondles at your breasts and rips your bra down until your nipples are poking through your school shirt.

The figure in the mirror distorts as your eyes begin to water. Thick beads of tears grow pregnant at the ends of your eyes before rolling down the side of your face.

"My girl," Mattheo presses his face into your hair, breathing you in, pressing his body into your side. His hard cock in unmistakable through his school pants, "My messy little girl,"

You finally moan candidly while your fingers grip the countertops and your hips buck into nothingness. Your eyes plead with him in the mirror, hoping they relay how utterly useless with lust you have become. It would not take hard work to make you cum, you're sure one more flick against your material-clad nipples might send you over the edge.

"Fuck, why didn't I think of this sooner,"

This is all new, even for the two of you.

"Spread your legs." He commands, even though his feet are already kicking them apart.

"Come here," you break eye contact in the mirror to face the boy behind you. Mattheo removes his fingers sitting in your mouth, leaving a trail of sticky saliva in its wake before replacing it with a long and messy kiss- one that has his tongue forcing itself inside.

Mattheo weaponizes your distraction to reach around and slide your panties to the side with one hand while he rubs your soft nub with his other, spit-coated hand.

You break away from the kiss, neck craning back and mouth hanging open while your eyebrows dissolve into crescents. You cannot look away from him, as you hump his hand.

"You wanna cum?" You nod enthusiastically. "And what if I told you, you can't cum until I've fucked that little pussy of yours? Hm? What then?" His words have you mewling from the sheer pleasure they bring and your orgasm threatens to snap once more.

"Fuck," He hisses, feeling unable to remove his hand from your wet cunt but needing to, in order to undo his belt and pull his aching cock out. "Don't you dare fucking touch yourself," He says in a deadly quiet voice before bringing his hand up to your mouth. "Spit." You don't ever think of disobeying him, not when you're swimming so deeply in your subspace, not when he's the one to bring you here.

Mattheo collects every bit of saliva you offer him before coating his cock in the stuff.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, he does what his body is screaming for him to do: he bends you over the bathroom sink and pushes cock right through your slippery folds. It's tense and painful and your voice is hoarse from doing all that screaming but the sudden contact strokes a deeply sated part inside yourself. His curved and pretty cock rams your insides with reckless abandon, all while he delivers small slaps against your cheek. Riddle keeps a firm grip on your throat. His mouth is inches away from you while his hips rut into yours. His words are being delivered through clenched teeth.

"You think you're so fucking smart but you're just my little whore, arent you? A little whore thst fucks anything that gives her the slightest bit of attention?" It doesn't even register that Mattheo wrongfully suspects that there had been something between you and Harry but you keep your mouth shut. For all his indifference in the past, this is how you would make him pay.

"Oh~ fuck." His cock bruises your cervix, leaving him balls deep and feral inside you. "Fucking Potter?! You wanna give what's mine, to fucking Potter?!" His voice is utterly depraved and animalistic and it has your orgasm cresting.

He is panting, while he mumbles into your ear.

"What would Potter think? If he saw you like this? What would he think? Would he still want your slutty pussy knowing I've been inside it? Knowing that I've cum so deep inside you? Completely ruining you for anyone else, huh?"

"You…" The tears threaten to spill, "It's only ever been you, Mattheo -oh my god! I'm so fucking close!" You fight down tears as the lava begins to bubble at the pit of your stomach.

"S-Say it again. Tell me you want me!" He exclaims, "Tell me you fucking need me."

"Oh my God, Mattheo, I fucking need you." You push your hips back to meet his thrusts.

His voice wavers after your confession. His strokes became sloppy. His mind is flooded with the tightest of your cunt around his cock- how someone so smart could possibly ever say they need him. It has a flood of heat pooling at the base of his cock. "You're so fucking pretty… my pretty girl - my pretty whore," He nods to himself while his heavy cock finds purchase in a specific clump of sensitive tissue inside your cunt. It has you clamping your own mouth shut, your arms wavering while your back arches towards him, only allowing him better excess.

"I need you," You say once more, swallowing a ball of saliva as you nod towards him through the mirror, "I need you to cum inside me."

"Oh my fucking god," Mattheo's eyes soften in their desperstion, "M'gonna fucking breed pussy right here- fuck!" His grip on your throat grows tighter until you're wholeheartedly cut off from your air supply. You hump his cock until you feel it twitch inside you.

"Y-Youre making me cum, baby- fuck-" You feel his hot cum spurting inside your walls, triggering your own orgasm that has you gripping his cock like a vice.

"So… so pretty" His hips stutter against yours until you've completely drained him of his cum. A sharp tremor settles over your bones and you gasp in vague increments, waiting for the overwhelming state of euphoria to subside… but it never does.

The weight of what you had done comes crashing back down but you are unable to feel anything besides an immense wave of satisfaction at having your deepest need satiated.

"I think I nearly killed Potter today." His voice is a hoarse echo within the school bathrooms.

"There is no Harry Potter," You say, watching him through the mirror, "In my whole world, there is only ever you, Mattheo."

And a part of him believes you, but he refuses to affirm something as emotionally stifling as that. Instead, Mattheo's eyes flutter shut as his nose finds your hair once more. His cock is still buried inside you, and you hiss as he moves his hips slowly, almost insitinvely. He loves being so wholly enveloped by you. He loves feeling you everywhere.

© to @mphountitled on tumblr; do not repost

#mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x black!reader #hp fandom #hp fanfic #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter smut #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #ravenclaw reader #x ravenclaw reader #mattheo riddle x ravenclaw!reader #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle imagine #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfcition #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic

[cashfreeapp750]

Cash App The Pros, Cons and Features of The Popular Payment Service

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[lovifie]

Hormones

When you suddenly find yourself thirsting over your LT!Simon that on any normal day you have to restrain yourself from throwing a chair at.

(please read the note at the end)

It's been a couple of months since you started working with the Task Force 141, an awesome force of men that save the world while the world sleeps.

The same way Soap and Gaz are, you are a sergeant. Not yet included in the task force officially, but still being asked to tag along to some missions.

It's been great! The sergeant's quickly become like childhood friends, the captain took you under his wing like one more of the team, Laswell is euphoric there is another woman and the lieutenant… Well, he's there.

It's not that you would expect him to give you special treatment, THE Ghost from Task Force 141. You are not a nosy person, but c’mon, it's Ghost! Who hasn't heard of him?

In the military world, it was the closest to meeting a celebrity. You were not expecting him to fall head over heels for you, but you were still a bit taken back when the first thing he said to you was:

“The fuck you looking at? Want a pat on the back for making it here without shitting yourself in the process? Get the fuck out of my face, go bother somebody else.”

You were not expecting a kiss on the forehead, but shit, a “Good morning” would have been enough.

Still, as time went on, the interactions between the LT and you remained just as bad. At the end, you stopped trying to talk to him, and just asked the sergeants or the Captain.

Except that bothered him too, like a stubborn toddler.

“Now you are too great to speak to your immediate superior? Need to go cry to the Captain like a brat? Make sure not to wet your nappies, soldier.”

And honestly, what's his fucking problem?

As a sergeant, you are proud to admit you have a wide range of skills and abilities, one of them being your patience to not absolutely destroy all the idiots that you have come across in your life. But honestly, you can feel it run thin as time goes by.

Even the captain had to jump to your rescue on more than one occasion, when Simon attack was completely uncalled for or he got a bit too hurtful.

But unlike your lieutenant, you remain professional. Listening to your captain, getting along with your sargeants and completely ignoring your lieutenant.

Until today.

The summer weather, great when sunbathing, not great when the AC is broken and you get stuffed in a room without windows for a debriefing with the team.

It's Ghost's turn to talk, standing to his full heights, when he finally takes off his jacket. And your eyes follow the movement, and then they just… stay there.

The tablet he is using looks like a smartphone on his hand, digits so thick you wonder how he manages to get them on the weapons triggers. The tendons of his hands moved under the skin as he adjusts his hold of the electronic.

And you follow the line, taking in the tattoo sleeve on his left arm, trying to decipher what they are supposed to be, some damaged with scars, others seems so old the ink got blurry, but still you can tell the way his muscles move under them.

Such a big arm, you know he could lift you with ease. Shit, he could lift everyone in the room. His biceps must be the size of your head, and he seems so unbothered by it, like it is not incredible the way he is built.

He switched his weight from one leg to the other, and your eyes traveled to his hips and waist. A waist that looks small, not that it is, there is nothing small about this man, but the sheer size of his shoulders in contrast makes his waist look small. His shoulders and his back, wide enough that it makes you wonder how he can enter through the door at base. He must enter sideways, there is no other way.

His hips called you again, making your eyes travel down your body, until they set between his legs. The bulge in there makes you feel offended, of course the idiot would be packing even when soft. How dare he?

Would he be a grower or a shower? Cause if he is a grower and this is the soft stage, you wonder how he doesn't get tangled.

You wouldn't mind getting tangled, you think, biting your lip.

Wait.

WAIT.

WHY ARE YOU THIRSTING FOR HIM?!

You look at the front, standing straight, and come face to face with Soap; who is perfectly aware of hour hatred towards hour LT is now looking at you like you just grew a second head on your shoulder. For a moment you don't know who looks more confused with your actions.

A silly thought goes through your head, and you pull your phone out, opening your period track app. And as you guessed, you were right. You show your screen to Soap and as he read: “Prediction: Ovulation. High risk of getting pregnant.” He burst out laughing making you chuckle as well as you shake your head.

Maybe, if you wouldn't have been so engrossed in your imagination, you could have noticed the way Ghost was stuttering while speaking, in ecstasy he finally managed to get a reaction out of you.

Hii🩷

How are you??

I just wanted to let you know I'm planning on making like a "permanent" taglist, for the post outside of the current series that already have their own.

I made this questionnaire (don't worry is anonymous, I'll only ask for your @ so I can tag you), and in there you can let me know if you want to be tag on all the little bits like this post, or only in some series or if you are in one already and want to be removed.

Also, the next series getting updated is Her Royal Highness, so those of you that have been waiting I'm sorry for taking so long and I'll probably uploaded this weekend/early this week.

Anyway, hope you liked this post I don't know if I'll make a continuation let me know if you would like to read that ♥️♥️

#call of duty #ghostsoap #cod x reader #cod #cod smut #task force 141 #call of duty x reader #cod modern warfare #ghost #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost cod #simon riley #ghost smut #john soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii

[snapnov4]

marry me | gojo satoru

synopsis: a bad idea disguised as a practical joke turns into something way deeper than you intended it to be.

wc: 1.1k

cw: just good ol fluff!

a/n: happy late birthday to my baby daddy and man of my dreams gojo satoru. i have to marry this man. i have to i have to i have to. anyways. enjoy reading this cute little fic i wrote, meaning i thought abt gojo proposing as a joke and vomited this out. enjoy!

it starts, like all things involving gojo satoru, with a bad idea disguised as a practical joke.

you're sitting across from him, in a restaurant that’s not too fancy, more of a family-type deal. he's forgone his blindfold in favor of his square-framed glasses, but his uniform is still on. he insisted on treating you to dinner after you exorcized an unregistered special grade on your own. however, with gojo, things can't always be so easy; he always adds his patented gojo twist to things, and this time the twist is this terrible joke.

“come on, it'll be funny!” he whines, from across the table.

“you want to propose to me in this restaurant for free food? when you make well over six figures a year? and have full access to thousands of years of old clan money?” you ask, incredulously, reaching to take a sip of your drink, suddenly wishing you had gone with a stronger option.

“yes, exactly. what's not clicking?”

“uhmmm, all of it?”

“look it'll be funny. you could even say no, then you can run out and i get free food as pity points,” he smiles at you, and you find it hard to keep saying no. “i mean, they'll probably all call you heartless and tell me i deserve better but that's fine.”

“okay and if i say yes, what about a ring? or the fact that we're not even together? how is anyone going to believe you?” you ask, thinking you've backed him into a corner, until he just sighs softly, keeping an easy smile, and reaches into his pocket. he pulls out a black velvet box, and shakes it a bit by his head.

“you think i hadn't planned for that?” he asks, smirking in your direction, trying to hold back laughter at your aghast expression, you drag a palm over your face, finally conceding.

“okay. fine! fine! just…try not to embarrass me. please?”

“no promises! also the waitress is coming this way, so get ready. tears are optional but preferred.”

you roll your eyes at his statement, your gaze following him closely when he stands up and walks over to your side of the table. you look around desperately hoping that no one will actually have their attention drawn to you but the thing about gojo is wherever he goes he commands attention. consequently, when he stands at a whopping 6’7 everyone’s already looking, and when he drops down on one knee in front of you, holding that little velvet box in front of you, you catch people’s smartphones shooting up immediately, great. and you're sure the vision of jujutsu’s strongest sorcerer, taking off his sunglasses and holding up a ring box to you would haunt you forever. you think right under reverse cursed technique in his list of talents, they should add acting, because the look in his eyes almost feels real.

the way your name falls so delicately from his lips, before he clears his throat, feigning nervousness. the way he struggles at first to look you in the eyes, the ring sparkling in the dim lighting. he starts:

“you are truly the most beautiful woman i've ever met, inside and out. to know you and love you is a pleasure too great for words, and i want to continue living in it every day. will you marry me?” you roll your eyes, but the smile across your face is genuine, maybe he was right, maybe this is funny. so you have no issue, saying yes, throwing your arms around his neck as he spins you around, delicately sliding the ring onto your finger. the two of you giggle all the way back to jujutsu tech, containers of your free leftovers in hand.

and so it becomes a tradition.

satoru continues to propose to you every time the two of you get the chance to have dinner together, and despite all your better judgment, you laugh and say yes every time.

and what started as a joke, turned tradition, starts to morph into something else.

satoru notices it on a summer day. you're out with the students, supervising them as they spar. the sun’s been beating down for days, he's standing beside you his eyes trained on your hands. your left ring finger has a tan line, it's from that ring. you're not wearing it, you returned it to him last night, forgetting to give it back after dinner and then desperately trying to get your schedules to align for at least five minutes, but he'd been out of town for a week and when he finally got back late last night to find you working on paperwork in your office, he didn't know why it felt like his heart sank when you slid the ring off and put it in his hand.

now, the box feels heavy in his pocket (when did he start carrying it all the time?) and he looks at you with so much adoration that had his blindfold not been on, he'd look like a love-struck puppy to any passerby. you'd been wearing the ring so much it's left a mark on you, it's obvious you'd been wearing it, the tan line a stark reminder that it was there; and something about it makes satoru wish he could make the next proposal permanent. you turn your head to him, smiling softly.

“the first years are something else this year, gojo, did you see yuuji and maki spar? they're going places,”

and he's not sure why but before he can stop himself he's blurting out:

“let me take you on a date.”

you sputter and falter, turning fully to look at him, “are you being serious?”

he nods, that goofy smile of his making you weak to his every whim, it's the same one he gave you that night at that dinner table; the same one that made you start this tradition.

so he takes you out, and then that becomes a tradition. still every day, he thinks of the way that ring looked on you whenever he slid it on your finger, and how he felt rejected every time you gave it back. he'd clear his schedule if he knew he could have dinner with you, just to see the smile you couldn't stop whenever he got down on one knee.

satoru doesn't propose anymore. he figures the next time he does it, he should be serious about it since you're his girl now. on a tuesday night, you're sitting with him on the couch, your legs are thrown over his lap and he looks at you, focused so intently on a book you've been dying to finish, the bookmark always staying near the end as you get called into emergency exorcisms, and he knows. he fishes that ring out of his pocket, the same one he gave you in that restaurant almost two years ago, and there's no fanfare, no cameras, no theatrics. he just opens the box, looks at you, and says,

“hey baby, let's get married.”

and just like the first time, you smile and say yes.

#gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk x reader #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #jjk fluff #vela is a softie #vela loves gojo #fics #trying out a new header style also #got tired of finding those stupid manga panels

[bootleg-nessie]

Things that will happen in the future (based on my own experiences with time travel):

***FAQs at the end***

*All of these observations are copied directly from my notes in roughly the order I took them in

*Don’t ask about the interchanging use of past/present/future tense, you know how that stuff is with time travel

Women just started all growing three boobs instead of two. Scientists baffled

Genetically engineered catboys (no literally)

The great pyramid of Giza has been converted into a Bass Pro Shop

The entire state of Rhode Island was bought by some rich tech CEO who promptly dug a 500 foot wide trench around the entire state so that it could in fact be an island. It was soon converted into the world’s largest parking lot

Pollution has gotten so bad that fresh oxygen is now delivered straight to most homes via a subscription service

Basic necessities such as food, water, and housing are now provided for free by the government, but only for the top 1% of wealth holders

Insulin now costs twice as much as rent. “Get fucked,” say pharma companies

92.6% of new electronic appliances now have smartphone integration and require a monthly subscription to use

Most billionaires have real estate on earth’s moon

As an ongoing film experiment, Taika Waititi successfully convinced a Nebraska man that he’s been raptured and is now in heaven. He actually got Truman Show’d and now millions of viewers tune in every week to watch God (played by John DiMaggio) manipulate Robert into confronting his own views, battle cognitive dissonance, and face the realization that he might not have been as good of a person on Earth as he thought he was

Carrots have gone extinct, as have highland cows

Species of extinct animals and plants now are being posthumously renamed after the billionaires and elites most directly responsible for killing then off

Researchers discovered a sentient colony of fungus off the coast of Chile, it prefers to go by Fleebo and appears to have a incredibly complex intelligence far greater than any other observed organic being

Nobody knows where Ireland went. It literally just disappeared off the face of the earth one day and nobody bothered to question it. The story couldn’t compete in the news cycle with the recent news about a company in China that made the first real life pokemon. An entire civilization of people gone and I’m the only one who seems to remember it or even care

Fleebo and its offspring have annexed Madagascar and are threatening any retaliation with nuclear warfare and “making The Last of Us a reality.” Nobody knows if Fleebo actually has the capabilities to do this, but after the Lovecraft incident we’re all TOO goddam scared to fuck around and find out

Large snails have replaced cats and dogs as the most common household pet. Snail culture has largely taken over the world, especially Japan

The president of the United States is now decided with an oiled up twerking competition. Most people were hesitant at first but this has produced vastly more competent leaders so now everyone just kinda goes along with it

With the cost of living crisis only worsening with time, selling tattoo space on your body to advertisers has become common as people struggle to afford rent and pay their bills

North and South Korea have reunited into “Korea 2.0”

Germany has split up into East and West Germany again

Belgium and France have been annexed by West Germany and renamed “Wester Germany” and “Westest Germany” respectively

The entirety of Florida is now underwater. Most of Kansas is too for some reason that scientists refuse to explain because they’ve “sworn an oath to the eldritch gods” and that “much worse things would happen” if they did

The melting ice caps in Antarctica unveiled a lost civilization of intelligent creatures descended from a species of lungfish, predating human civilization by millions of years. They planned on hibernating for another 10-15 million years to observe the course of evolution on Earth and are very very angry at humans for waking them up prematurely and ruining all of that with global warming

The politically correct term for lungfish people is “Dipnoid” but most people refer to them by a variety of slurs, such as “finwalker” and “kelp muncher” (not that they even eat kelp)

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch has now increased to nearly half the size of what was formerly known as Canada and has been colonized entirely by pirates (the flag is actually pretty cool). The pirate nation has the 17th largest economy in the world and is projected to surpass the United States in GDP

Africa is about 2% smaller. Nobody knows why. Most people point to Fleebo, who denies having any involvement

All human-Dipnoid interaction was promptly banned by most world governments, except for the GPGPRP (Great Pacific Garbage Patch Republic of Pirates), whom the Dipnoids rely upon extensively for trade

Scientists have used DNA from fossils to recreate other species of humans. We now live alongside them like we did for thousands of years before everyone besides Homo sapiens went extinct. Racism is at an all time high

Class C and above robots are now legally recognized by most progressive countries as people

The United States government has been exposed for secretly funneling billions of dollars into the GPGPRP and using it to fund terrorist operations all over the world.

A new major religion revolving around Dave Grohl has skyrocketed in popularity. Grohilsm is now the world’s largest religion, second only to Fleeboism

Scientists discovered a new continent in the Pacific Ocean, and then promptly lost it again. Most people are convinced this was just an elaborate practical joke, but scientists “swear it definitely happened”

For a brief period of about 30 years, everything in George Orwell’s 1984 happened almost exactly as written in the book. Literally 1984

It was revealed that Jeff Epstein didn’t kill himself. He actually faked his death and spent the next few years in a drug-fueled episode of psychosis making sock puppets in a cave in Italy and then molesting said sock puppets until he died from a sock puppet related illness

Bigfoot was discovered off the coast of Georgia doing cocaine with a congregation of alligators. When questioned, he said he normally lives in Montana and was only there on vacation. He is now a celebrity, and has been featured in a number of tv shows and films, two of which he won an Oscar for. Last I checked, he was a washed up actor living in Hollywood with a reanimated Neanderthal woman

The GPGPRP raided most of England’s museums with the object of “doing exactly what they did for the last few centuries” England was understandably furious, but the rest of the world found it rather amusing

England declared war on the GPGPRP, which it promptly lost after hackers brought down the entire country’s military overnight. Much like in the 21st century, England is the world’s laughing stock

The entirety of Luxembourg relocated itself to the moon

Russia attempted to take over most of Eurasia. In retaliation to the full global effort to stop them, they launched nukes at the world’s 600 most populous cities outside of its current territory. Most of the warheads were stopped in time, but a few major metropolitan areas got hit pretty badly, including Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Chengdu, Mexico City, and Istanbul. Japan was understandably super pissed that Hiroshima and Nagasaki got nuked for a second time

In the wake of the nuclear holocaust, Canada assumed control over what was formerly Russia and assimilated many of its citizens and leaders into its own society and government. Under the new rule of formerly Russian leaders, Canada became a puppet state for the second coming of Russia. It annexed much of the United States, Mongolia, China, and a handful of other countries, becoming “the world’s first megacountry.” Crungolaska now controls a majority of the northern hemisphere

As part of a practical joke by Adam Sandler, Tom Hanks was actually marooned on a desert island like in Castaway. He lasted less than a week before he died. When I left this era of the future, Adam Sandler was serving a lifetime sentence in prison for murder

Fringe groups of crows with above-average intelligence have started popping up around the world. So far they have been observed forming small communities, crafting relatively complex tools, using rudimentary speech, performing rituals, and creating music

Aliens visited earth and had a formal meeting with many of our world leaders, but decided to leave us alone for a few thousand more years because humanity is “not yet mature enough to handle the responsibilities of interstellar travel.” They have incentivized us with a the blueprints for an Alcubierre Drive and a means to produce the exotic matter to fuel it once they deem us as being ready

The original colony of settlers on Mars has declared independence, officially becoming the first country not on Earth

We sent Tom Cruise back to space but this time we just left him there

The tether for the space elevator broke. The town known as Vatorville, famous for being the location of the takeoff point of the elevator shuttle on Earth, was completely decimated as tens of thousands of miles of steel cable came crashing back down. There were no survivors

Most people in first and second world countries have mandatory microchip implants that serve as a personal ID

Last Thursdayism has been largely denounced by quantum physicists. Current theories now revolve around “Next Thursdayism,” the belief that the entire universe was created in the future and that we all exist as a memory in the past

Synthetic organ farms for transplants and research have become a massive industry worth billions of dollars. However, there is still a huge black market for organically grown human organs, as they’re much cheaper to acquire and aren’t taxed at the exorbitant rates that lab-grown organs are

China dug a hole all the way to the center of the Earth. Turns out it’s hollow and there are people living inside. Who knew?

A university reconstructed the entire city of Rome as it was in its early days during the Roman Empire. It’s actually pretty historically accurate, except for the fact that there’s a lot less sex because it’s run by a bunch of sweaty history nerds

After Rome 2 resulted in the creation of a cult revolving around the Roman god of the dead that gained traction as a minor religion, Pluto was officially reinstated as a planet by NASA when cultists picketed their headquarters every day for nearly 3 years straight. “Fine, we’ll give these fucking virgins what they want so they’ll finally shut the hell up,” said NASA’s administrator in chief

In a display of the biotechnical prowess of Disney’s Imagineers, all the animatronics in Disney’s Hall of Presidents were replaced with clones of the originals, which went about exactly as well as you’d expect. After reports of the presidents hurling a series of racial slurs and other obscenities at the first black family to enter surfaced, the project was shut down almost immediately after it had opened. Minority admission to Magic Kingdom plummeted to 2.3% of its numbers from the previous year, making it the second whitest place on earth after a taylor swift concert

Plastic now makes up about 3% of every organism on earth by weight

Public officials are now required by law to take shrooms before running for office

Trees are considered a rare and highly sought after commodity, and are usually only owned by public institutions and the rich (the vast majority of oxygen farms use algae to produce oxygen)

FAQs:

FAQ: What time period(s) did you go to?

A: I have no fucking clue. The world stopped using the Gregorian calendar in 2063 after a gamma ray burst hit the sun. The GRB led to stellar ablation, which changed the length of a year on Earth. The sun would continue to lose mass at an accelerated rate for several more years, with the length of the year changing slightly from year to year. The world adopted a variety of different calendars which kept being updated frequently and were often super confusing and contradictory. I traveled to about a dozen different points in time, which based on my best estimates spanned within a few millennia of the current date.

FAQ: How did you obtain a time machine?

A: I think it was the 17th or 18th of June, 2055? That night, a large sci-fi looking box thingy roughly the size of a VW Bus appeared a few hundred yards away in the open field in front of my house. I tried to take a picture of the box, but for some reason the closer I got, the more the image on my camera started to become fuzzy, and by the time I got close enough to take a decent picture, the camera had stopped working altogether. I pulled open a door to reveal a corpse inside that was charred beyond recognition, who appeared to have suffocated and/or burned to death during a fire that damaged most of the interior. I also noticed a number of strange tumors and growths on the body. I pressed a random button on the remains of what I believed to be a control panel, expecting nothing to happen, but the door closed automatically and I suddenly lost consciousness. When I came to, I exited the box, expecting to still be in the field in front of my house, but instead found myself a ways outside of a small snowy village that based on my best estimates, was somewhere in northern Asia around 2-3 thousand years ago. The villagers started coming after me with spears, so I quickly ran back to the box and pressed another button, hoping it would return me to from whence I came. This time, the people I found (who were thankfully much nicer and spoke a dialect of English that I could mostly understand) told me that it was the year 506 of the PGRB-Δ4 calendar (the calendar that the United Territories was using at the time). I repeated this maybe a dozen more times trying to get home until I landed in 2023, which as far as I could tell, was the closest I had gotten back to my original time so far. It was at this point that I decided to stay and seek medical attention, as I was rather concerned about some nasty new growths on my arms and legs similar to that which I had seen on the corpse.

FAQ: Where is the time machine now?

A: No idea. It disappeared a few days after I landed in 2023. My best guess is that some poor sap found it and ended up sometime else.

(I never ask for likes/reblogs but I literally spent fucking WEEKS on this one so if you liked it pls show me some love <3)

#r/196 #r/196archive #196 #/r/196 #rule #meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #sci fi #time travel #the last of us #tlou #1984 #literally 19684 #dave grohl #Bigfoot #Ireland #space #tw england #aliens #mars #trees #human rights #evolution #biology #Pokémon #fungi #long post #tumblr heritage post

[lilyginnyblackv2]

The small details that make this episode work: SPOILERS!

1. Miss Anna is shown to be on her own looking after a lot of kids:

This highlights a real-world problem in Japan, which is the extreme worker shortage and high turnover rate of daycare workers in Japan right now. I’ll link to a Japan Times article that goes into more details about this.

2. Rei notes how huge this zoo is in the very next scene:

3. The areas the kids are shown traversing on their own and shouting for help in aren’t heavily populated areas of the zoo. Compare this scene where Rei and Kazuki are to the kids:

Kazuki is also screaming and shouting nonsensical things, so it stops people and catches their attention. Meanwhile, the areas the kids are in have very few people:

The kids are calling out for their teacher and others here. Yes, there is a woman with her child there, but could that woman be completely zoned out at the moment? Absolutely. Her kid is the only one that notices Kazuki crawling on the ground in the next scene, after all. She could be scrolling on her smartphone for all we know too.

4. When they do reach an area with slightly more people around, and call out, these people are eating lunch with their kids. Their focus is on their own children. And only Miri’s “Miss Anna!” shout is said loudly once. Taiga kinda mumbles out a “Where could she be?” But that’s it. 

And, I do think that Buddy Daddies has been highlighting the lack of attention and care a lot of people in big cities, especially, tend to give towards others. Even children. And how, in Japan, the desire to not cause disturbance or conflict, can also lead to people not interfering in situations, even when they should.

But even here in the States or other parts of the world, how many times have people heard kids playing or shouting very loudly, and it was paid no mind, because the assumption is that kids are playing or the person they are looking for is just around the corner? You hear about situations like that happening all the time in missing children’s cases and the like.

It really requires the shouting or the scene/actions to be really loud or really odd (Kazuki being up a grown man up a tree shouting) to cause others to stop and stare, sadly.

5. Finally, when this lowlife does attack them, there is literally no one around (except Kazuki and Rei). They moved to a more secluded area nearer to the trees (rather than staying in the more crowded area by the benches). His attack is also meant to be ridiculous, because it highlights an actual, lowlife “delinquent” (a grown man who would steal food from a literal child), to contrast with Kazuki’s imagined delinquent Miri.

And, this part may be a bit of a stretch, but I do find it rather interesting that the episode started with this discussion:

An older man saying “Parents these days are too lenient with their children when they’re young!” But yet, it is these older men that likely had stricter or less lenient upbringings that are shown behaving poorly. Yet, it is a more lenient approach (Miri with Taiga) that shows good results. 

(Also, sidenote, in both this news story and in this episode’s B-plot, the adult exhibiting harmful behavior are both grown men - so the issue is less “they don’t know right from wrong,” as the man on the news says kids these days need stricter understandings of that, and more “they’ve never been taught accountability for their actions,” which is a different thing and is a very gendered issue, especially in Japan, though also around the world to varying degrees. Since Taiga was exhibiting a lot of the usual “boys will be boys” behavior, but Miri holds him accountable for his actions, like below).

As for Miss Anna, we don’t really see her side of things. But I’d imagine that she did the best she could to locate them/some form of security to help her find our lost gang, while also making sure no other kids took off, and keep things “on schedule” enough to keep the others calm and not cause panic. She was likely super stressed out and juggling a million different things at once. With her situation and them getting lost highlighting the understaffing issue with daycare workers and also the continued societal issue of lack of community and helping others, especially in regards to childcare.

Do a lot of these things also just help to tell the story that they need to? Yes, but at the same time, I feel they set everything up in a way that I could believe something like this could happen. Maybe it’s also because I can remember being a kid lost in the grocery store when others were around, and no one stopping despite distress being visible on my face and me calling for my mom. That definitely happened once when I was younger. So this happening to a small group of kids in a huge zoo in the city? Definitely plausible.

I also just think they tied this episode and its themes nicely together. And I wrote this post because one reactor was basically like, “If that was my kid’s teacher, she wouldn’t be my kid’s teacher anymore.” “If I was her, I’d cause a scene until the police came to me and helped fix the situation” and other sorts of Miss Anna slander, and I wasn’t here for it. 

(Also, that approach would have been awful. She is in charge of a bunch of other kids too. She can’t just cause a scene until cops or security or whatever came to help. That would have caused the bunch of other children she had to care and look out for to freak out and it would have made the situation 1,000x worse. Especially since she seemed to be doing this whole trip on her own).

#Buddy Daddies #Miri Unasaka #Kazuki Kurusu #Rei Suwa #Anna Hanyu #BD #Buddy Daddies spoilers #BD spoilers #long post #image heavy post #meta post

[tzilatza]

NATLA Review - spoilers

Woke up today still feeling annoyed after finished the Netflix ATLA remake last night, and I think I've figured out the core reason.

It's the fact that: If they had held truer to the original source material, we could have had a truly great show. I disagree with those calling it a complete disaster. The acting was good, great in some cases. The effects were very well done, the bending looked about as good as it can in a live action media. The scenery was lovely.

But what happened in the writer's room?! The way they just reveal all the back stories up front EVERY TIME is honestly insulting to the audience. It's like they're so terrified that smartphone culture has made the public so accustomed to instant gratification that they have no faith we will stick around and keep watching if they make us wait for anything.

They're also clearly terrified of complexity. One of my biggest gripes with this remake is Jet's story. They completely took out his plans to murder a whole town of innocents in order to get a few enemy soldiers. Now, Jet isn't my favorite character, but his story is so important. Because it is real. The world is full of people who have been so brought down by injustice that they lose their sense of right and wrong, and we need to see that on screen. If Jet is too complex for them, how will they handle Ba Sing Se in the second season.

This goes along the same lines as removing Sokka's sexist moments. They felt they had to do it to make him more 'likable.' Yet the writers themselves went full sexist on Katara's character. They've taken out so much of her spark, her righteous and justified anger, and they've done it because even in 2024, people expect women to be more passive to be palatable. Enough people have already commented on them removing Aang's choice to run away. Heaven forbid the main character not be an absolute paragon. Did y'all notice that they even made Hahn likable? Hahn?! What reason do you have for making Hahn likable Netflix?! His role in the narrative is to be an example of toxic masculinity that is clearly the bad choice compared to Sokka who has learned and grown out of his own.

Don't even get me started with what they're doing with the fire nation family, I'm not ready to tackle that. In general, I have no problem with Azula getting a little more backstory and humanizing, but why season 1? Throwing in all these extra scenes just sacrifices screen-time where they could've actually fleshed out the real season one plots instead of rushing through things at breakneck pace. (ex: Aang escaping Zuko's ship in about 2 minutes flat)

At the end of the day, the scenes I most enjoyed were those that held true to the original like the Blue Spirit sequences. They could've easily done more of this, held onto the important plot points and even more important character complexity, while maturing it for an adult audience. I'm not disagreeing with every change they made. Go ahead and take out the silly Nickelodeon gags, add cussing and more realistic violence to get your mainstream viewers. Go ahead. They could've easily made a darker more mature version of the show and still held onto all the old fans in my opinion. But claiming that you're making a 'more mature' version and then removing the complexity and subtlety because they didn't think viewers could handle it...

What makes me most sad is that there are a lot of people who will experience ATLA for the first time through this show. There are a lot of adults who are not willing to watch original ATLA because they refuse to acknowledge an animated series can be anything other than a kid's show. Those people will watch this and think it's the real deal, and that just makes me sad.

If you've read this far, a very sincere thank you for listening to my rant. If you're an OG fan who enjoyed it, I have no problem with you. It was a fun watch, I was just hoping for more. If you are a new viewer who has never seen ATLA before, I sincerely want to hear your opinions. Is it a great show to someone who isn't holding it against the context of the original? And do you plan to watch the original now?

#natla #natla spoilers #live action atla #live action avatar #netflix avatar #netflix avatar review #avatar the last airbender #atla

[fairlyaltheticquails]

imagine ford’s first few days of being back and he’s surprised to learn you still live in gravity falls when the kids mention you. he eventually asks if you’re married, trying to act casual about it (and failing)

hes my little awkward boy (hes 70)

words: 687

this is kinda poopoo but whatever

 “Hey, I know them!” Dipper exclaims, picking up the framed photo from the desk. 

The picture’s old, several decades old at least, but it's one of Ford's favorites. He specifically tracked down where Stanley had hid it within a day of coming back, restoring it to its rightful position in the lab. Fiddleford had set up the camera after a particularly special breakthrough, when everyone was still riding the high, smiling and laughing like little kids. What gets Ford is the way you are looking at him. 

Clearly unaware of the photo being taken, you look at the side of his face, stars in your eyes with a wide grin. Fidds had silently given him the photo, a knowing look on his face.Truth be told, Ford has always liked you. You're smart, you laugh at his bad nerd jokes, you're kind (even when the receipt doesn't deserve it), and you're pretty easy on the eyes. When he'd lost you, he knew if he'd ever make it back, you'd surely have someone else, somewhere better than Gravity Falls. 

This is why Dipper's comment makes him drop and completely shatter the vial he was holding. Ford turns briskly to Dipper, observing him closely for any sign of his knowledge.

“What do you mean? How?” It wouldn't surprise him if Bill had placed some false memory of you in Dipper's head just to torment him, knowing that Ford would want to try and track you down if he could. 

“Oh. They helped Mabel and I out earlier this summer when we, uh,, ran into some not so friendly ghosts. I've seen ‘em around town too.” Dipper says casually, unnerved by his grunkles strange state and reaction. “How do YOU know them?” he prys.

“We knew each other long ago, It doesn't matter.” Ford is unsurprised to hear you still poke your head into the strange natures of the town, It's in your nature as is helping others in a bad way. He imagines you fighting off ghosts like the 80s movies Stanley made him watch once he'd returned. His chest warms with something pleasant, before dropping like a stone. It's been thirty years. If you'd even made the connection to him from the kids, chances are you've long since moved on from your research days with him. Surely you've moved onto better people than him. “Have you, um, seen them around with… anyone?”

Dippers face changes to one of confusion. “Like who? Wait, Could they be working with Bill? I should've paid closer attention to them, they've been right under my nose, I…” Dipper spirals, panic increasing as his word vomit flows. Ford cuts him off.

“I meant a… partner. Spouse?” Ford adds, embarrassed. He isn't thirteen anymore, he has no need to be prying into his crushes from thirty years ago. His hand rubs the back of his neck, and he intends to tell Dipper to just forget it when Dipper thoughtfully hums. 

“Nope, don't think so. Or at least, not that I've noticed,”. Dipper's tone and expression are unnervingly neutral, not betraying his thoughts on this awkward line of questioning.Dipper ends the conversation there, placated by the information given, placing the photo back in its spot and returning to the task Ford had assigned him. 

 Ford feels a bit lighter that afternoon and has to force down the smile trying to work its way up. Mabel had offered to teach Ford all about the world of smartphones, and Stanley might have a phonebook lying around here somewhere. Ford resolves himself to having to hold off on looking until after the rift has been resealed, when he knows it will be more safe to contact you. He goes to bed that night imagining what you may look like now. If you still have the same glimmer in your eyes, or if you still do your hair the same. If you still pick at your sweaters, or smudge the  ink everytime you write. 

bonus: dipper totally knew what ford was hinting at and when he relayed the conversation to mabel that night, she went into matchmaker mabel mode setting up an "accidental" meeting, where you see each other for the first time since ford got back

#ford pines #ford pines x reader #my writing #ask answered #i had a bigger plan for this but lost motivation halfway through :{

[henry-blake-offishial]

Seen some GTAV headcanons which encouraged me to post some of mine

-Trevor has absolutely awful eating habits. No regular meals, if any, since he often forgets about eating when he's high. Never goes groceries shopping, except for stuff that can be heated in a microwave. Often opts for takeaway food. Still knows how many calories a chocolate bar has

-Michael makes sure the doors are locked and the security system is working each day before he goes to bed

-Michael drinks his coffee with milk and sugar, Trevor prefers his black. Franklin doesn't like coffee. He prefers energy drinks

-Franklin buys a new smartphone regularly, Michael after warranty has expired, Trevor only when his old one is not working anymore

- Michael is a baptised Roman Catholic and has Irish ancestors (came to my mind upon seeing his tattoo options)

-Trevor is quite a good singer with a surprisingly good singing voice but he rarely ever sings

-Trevor still has his old leather jacket with the numerous of patches from his favorite bands, from the time he was a punk rocker. He relied heavily on music during his teenage years

-Tried to learn how to play the guitar but ended up smashing the instruments out of rage for not being able to learn fast

-There's literally not one dog in the world that doesn't like Franklin

-Franklin will stop doing drugs completely once he's a father

-And he's going to be a good dad, genuinely loves his kids, teaches them countless valuable life lessons and does absolutely not want to be like his parents or worse, the De Santas

-Denise gets to be the children's godmother regardless of her strained relationship with Franklin, and they grow closer again, working out stuff

-Lamar was a bully at school

-Amanda fucked one of Tracey's boyfriends once

-And she often fakes orgasms when sleeping with Michael 👀 of course he's absolutely oblivious to that, too distracted by his massive ego bc of what a stallion he appears to be 😬

-Trevor LOVES breakfast cereals (bc he probably never was allowed to eat them when he was a child)

-And yes he used those dildos on himself you can see in Debra's apartment

-Jimmy sells Tracey's worn underwear for easy and quick money

-The De Santa family once had a rather young, pretty housemaid. Amanda kicked her out. Guess why

-same goes of their old gardener but reversed roles

-Amanda has shouted one of her lover's names while having sex with Michael at least once

#gta v #Gta v headcanons #michael de santa #trevor philips #franklin clinton #amanda de santa #jimmy de santa #tracey de santa #lamar davis

[stormdragon23]

Finally reading the official Solo Leveling novel translation on Tapas, so just going to post some of my thoughts here as I read and see what’s different from what I’ve seen in the manhwa and other places

(This is just a bunch of rambles and spontaneous thoughts, so some of it might not make sense)

Jinwoo cursing is something that should happen more often

I’m glad I read the manhwa first, or I wouldn’t know who Lee Juhee is. Her name is Yi Ju-Hui here. Like, it makes sense when looking at the Hangul version of her name, but I’ve never seen anyone spell her name like that

So smartphones can be used as flashlights in dungeons. Can’t people take photos and videos then? In case something goes wrong like with the lizards? Maybe I’m thinking too much like Jinchul

Juhee is turning twenty-one according to the novel, but she’s already twenty-two in the game. Song Chiyul is over sixty in the novel but is fifty-seven according to the game. Jinwoo’s age seems like the only age that stays consistent across multiple platforms

Double dungeons are discussed more in the novel than I thought. They say a small to medium guild found a double dungeon and grew into a large one basically overnight. I don’t really remember much about the System, but could those double dungeons have been the Architect trying to find a Player and made one of the members stronger but ultimately failed to? And the reason why the statues and people dying in the dungeons weren’t known is because the guild tried to keep quiet about it and had no proof? Maybe I’m thinking too much about that

Song Chiyul being blamed for leading the other hunters to their deaths makes a lot more sense now. It’s not completely his fault, but he was the one to encourage the other hunters to continue when they were starting to hesitate

So I read this somewhere though I don’t remember where, but in the novel, the other statues aren’t that much taller than the average human whereas in the manhwa the statues are much larger. I think I would’ve liked the novel version more personally. It makes more sense to be scared of something much bigger than you, but when it’s something around your size, it makes you feel more helpless

I’m not even past chapter 2 yet-

#solo leveling #sl novel rambles #don’t have any one person to ramble to so i’m going to ramble to everyone who reads this

[down-in-the-rainbow-square]

Here's an idea, reader is able to go to and from the welcome home world at will. R (reader) does this daily around the same time each time or at least checks in if R is short on time, they are also sure to let the WH crew know if they'll be gone for a X amount of days.

Well a day goes by where R doesn't visit or check in, one day turns into a week before R returns with gifts for everyone. Turns out R got really sick and then bought/made apology gifts for everyone and even cleared their whole schedule so they could all hang out for a few days.

How would the crew react?

Welcome Home x Reader - Make-Up Presents

Hi! Thank you for the request. This is a really nice idea! I'd love to be able to travel freely between my favourite fictional worlds. That'd be so fun. I wonder how time differs between the world of Home and our world.

Words: 563

Type: Headcanons, platonic

Tw: None

Wally was more worried about you. He appreciates the gift, especially if it's something crafty or handmade, but in the end, he wants to make sure you're okay. He takes your hands in his (ignoring the possible germs) and looks into your eyes. Only this time it's not exuding a creepy aura - it's concern. You quell his worries, and he turns his attention back to thanking you for the gift.

Julie is also worried about you, though not as much as Wally. As in, she can still focus on the gift and thank you for it first. Once she gets reassurance that you're okay, she asks you lots of questions about the gift you brought her. If it's something unfamiliar, say an old smartphone, she asks you so, so many questions.

Sally assured herself that you're fine, so she doesn't really worry about that. She sort of just takes the gift, acknowledges it, and moves on. She appreciates it, of course! It's just that there's so much to do and so many rehearsals you've missed and you simply must catch up! It's crucial!

Frank needs to be sure you're not sick anymore. Not only is he concerned for you as a friend, but when it comes to situations like these he's pretty cautious about germs. Yes, he's not afraid to get a little dirt on him when looking for bugs, but sicknesses are not something he wants. Other than that, he's very thankful for the gift. He decides to study it, of course.

Eddie asks lots of 'are you okay?'s and 'are you sure?'s. He trusts your reassurance and gets over it quickly, though. Still follows you around to make sure you're okay, however. After that, he asks you to take him through a step-by-step process of how the gift was made (if it was hand-made). Otherwise, he's very thankful.

Howdy doesn't ask lots of questions about your health. Like Sally, he trusts you enough to know you wouldn't come in and get them sick. Still, he offers you a special recovery discount on things like hot water bottles and blankets. As for the gift, he's really taken aback. But he offers a charming smile and a promise to keep it in the front window. But it will never be for sale; it's too precious!

Barnaby asks if you're okay once, tells you that you are always welcome because "a dog can survive anything except chocolate", and then focuses on the gift. He knows once a gift is his he's free to do with it as he'd like, so the two of you decide to perhaps paint it or draw on it. Unless it's something really special like a card, then it stays as it is.

Note: cards count as something special that cannot be touched. The Mona Lisa does not.

Poppy instantly frets over your health. I mean, what did you expect, really? She takes your face between her soft feathers and looks you over for any signs of illness. One shade too off colour and she's getting the medicine! But once you present her with the gift, he worries are washed away. She takes it tenderly in her hands and looks it over, scared of breaking it (her wings are shaky, after all). Gives you a hug before worrying she's crushing you. Then hugs you again - softer, this time.

#rainbow square writing #x reader #welcome home #welcome home x reader #welcome home x y/n #welcome home x you #wally darling #wally darling x reader #julie joyful #julie joyful x reader #sally starlet #sally starlet x reader #frank frankly #frank frankly x reader #eddie dear #eddie dear x reader #howdy pillar #howdy pillar x reader #barnaby b beagle #barnaby beagle #barnaby beagle x reader #poppy partridge #poppy partridge x reader

[anonymouschishiyaimaginesandmore]

ToxicNeighbor! -> ToxicFriend!Chishiya

Minors, do not read! Contains mentions of smutty behavior!

MASTERLIST (up-to-date)

This is Part 2 !!HERE!! is Part 1 !!HERE!! is Part 3 !!HERE!! is Part 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters or original stories, only the plot of this fanfic. Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters and original storyline belong to Haro Aso, who made the Manga the Series is based on.

Trigger Warning: Explicit Smut, Toxic Behavior, Complicated Consensual/Not-Consensual Behavior, Harassment, Stalking, Summery: Chishiya x Female Reader

ToxicNeighbor!Chishiya who became ToxicFriend!Chishiya after just a few days of you being single. It’s been weeks since you and your ex-boyfriend broke apart, thru his actions and ToxicFriend!Chishiya got a new idea how to get into your pants.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya, again, pays for a prostitute to play a role of his liking. The big allowance he gets from his father is more then enough to effort 10 and he always goes for the discrete type, so they know how to keep a secret and their moral is so low, its practically nonexistent, which he greatly appreciated.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya pays the prostitute to play his new girlfriend which he fell for head over heels. At least that’s what he told you. You barely see her. Only when she walks out of his apartment. Strangely its every time you leave too, what are the odds?

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who tells you all stuff about his new girlfriend who he loves oh so much and how perfect she is. What he doesn’t tell you is how he waits every morning for you to leave for work, sitting on one of the stools of his open kitchen with the head of his paid hooker between his legs swallowing his girthy cook while he thinks of you, grunting and groaning and moaning your name with his mind in the clouds and his head thrown back.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya imagines it’s your head he presses down to his cocks base, not caring a single bit when the paid woman whimpers and gags while choking on his erection. He won’t fuck her tho, no, he doesn’t like the way she moans, and it destroys the fantasy of having you with him instead of her.

This goes on for some months and while ToxicFriend!Chishiya becomes more human in your eyes you loose your walls around him. He is taken after all so there is no reason for him to want anything from you, then the wonderful relationship he offers, right? You constantly meet for a glass of wine or something stronger after work, where you tell him how your workday went and he tells you how he lost some fake patient, sometimes its children because he saw how those stories hit you harder.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya tells you about work getting to him and his worries of growing cold and hard. He tells you how his co-workers all build walls around them and joke about their patient’s fate and how disgusting he believes this is and that he is afraid of ending like them. You hug him after that, every time, rubbing his back and reassuring him that he, the all so good doctor, who treats his patients like actual humans and feels with their pain, could never end up like this.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya of course thanks you for your kind words, saying he hopes you are right, while he deeply couldn’t care less for any other human being then himself. And you, he cares about you, but in a deeply disturbing way and if you knew even half the things he does behind your back, you wouldn’t dare to cross his path again.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who tells you, after some glasses which he totally can take without getting drunk, how different you are to his girlfriend. Then he shares his doubts with you, at least that’s what you think. He tells you that lately his lovely girlfriend has become more distant with him. She tells him it is nothing and he shouldn’t worry but he catches her typing on her smartphone in the bathroom. She waved off his doubts telling him that its just a friend, but he can’t shake of the feeling of something being wrong.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya tells you, feigning fear, that his girlfriend is maybe growing bored of him and will leave him soon for someone else. Of course, you tell him that won’t happen. Trying to cheer him up, you praise him what a wonderful person he is and how lucky his girlfriend can even be to get someone so loyal and loving like him. He stirs some more to get some more compliments out of you, until you blush, and he takes your hand, thanking you with a low voice for your friendship and for being by your side. “What would I do without you?” he asks, and you assure him that he will never have to find this out, because you won’t go anywhere and that’s when he knows he got you hooked.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya doesn’t forget your personal life while fake dating a paid prostitute. When you came over after breaking up with your unfaithful ex-boyfriend, he took the chance of you leaving for the bathroom to refresh your nonexistent make-up, to take your apartment key and press it into mold. Then, after you left, he poured some resin into it and voila, finished was the spare key to your apartment, that you were never going to find out about.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya goes into your apartment on his days off and the other times his schedule doesn’t align with yours. He rummages thru your stuff, takes some panties here and there, one of your lacy bras too, that he knows you will miss, since it is your lucky one.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who will sync your smartphone with one he bought for the sole purpose of spying on you. After finding out all your passwords, which wasn’t that hard since you use your first tv crushes name and some other stuff you told him after one of too many glasses of wine, ToxicFriend!Chishiya is now UpToDate with every message you write and damn was he happy to see how highly you praised him to your parents. An excellent doctor, you wrote, wonderful person, loyal friend, and handsome man. He is over the moon to see how well you thought of him. None of it true of course.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who will send you your underwear back after he masturbated on and with it. He makes his fake girlfriend wear your bra while giving him a nice hand job, eyes locked on her boobs, imagining they are yours.

“Don’t you dare waste a single bit” he groans, making sure his cum will stain the fabric forever, then he sends it back to you with a written note of your ex-boyfriends handwriting that says how much he misses you.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya revels in your angst when you realize your ex-boyfriend was in your apartment while you were gone and stole stuff, maybe done even worse things, who knows? ToxicFriend!Chishiya does. You call him over to have someone to talk to and end up crying on his shoulder, completely freaked out after the tenth cum covered panties he sends you. He rubs your back, telling you that he won’t let this guy hurt you. That you can count on him, since he is your friend and always there for you.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya kisses your forehead and holds you in his arms till you barely can keep your eyes open. He sometimes slips in a few words, coating them in worry and fake sympathy. They all sound so caring for you, but for some reason they make you more anxious to be alone in your apartment, which is totally what ToxicFriend!Chishiya was striving for. He tells you how much it pains him to see you like that and that he too worries so much for your safety. Then ToxicFriend!Chishiya brings up the perfect idea. Stay over at his apartment and sleep here until your locks have been changed and you feel safe again. You want to say no, want to tell him that this isn’t necessary, but he got you hooked and when he insists on you having his bed, because there is no way his guest would sleep on this uncomfortable designer couch of his, you too insist on him sleeping in his bed.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya knows you didn’t ask him so he doesn’t have to lay down on some hard cushions for the night, no. You are just so afraid, practically shaking and don’t want to be alone and of course what kind of friend would ToxicFriend!Chishiya be if he said no and you are totally fine with it, even tho a blush is creeping up your face, seeing him getting ready for bed. He is after all such a gentleman, you think, ToxicFriend!Chishiya would never misuse such a vulnerable situation.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya undresses in his bathroom that he purposefully left slightly open for you to catch his naked back and nude chiseled ass. You want to look away. It’s wrong, you are not supposed to see this. ToxicFriend!Chishiya, your good friend, is doing you a huge favor by letting you stay over, treating you like a queen, so caring and sweet and you stump on his trust by creeping up on his body while he is oh so unknowing to the fact his door didn’t close up fully. You are a bad person, you tell yourself, rotten deeply, but still can’t take your eyes away. Unbeknown to you, he can see your starring in his mirror and his confidence only grows when he sees you bite your lower lip and then gasp as he turns around to face you with his front.

Too bad, ToxicFriend!Chishiya thinks, pulling up his pajama pants just in time, so you won’t get to steal a look at his well build crotch. Not yet. You haven’t earned it yet, but soon, he thinks. Then he won’t have the prostitutes’ lips sucking him off, but yours.

Btw, ToxicFriend!Chishiya never makes his paid fake girlfriend wear your panties, even tho it would be easier to stain them that way, but he doesn’t want her pathetic dirty juice mixed with his godly cum on your clothing. No no. It’s his and only his pleasure to be.

#chishiya shuntaro #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya #chishiya aib #aib chishiya #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x reader #alice in borderland 2 #chishiya x you #chishiya alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland #shuntarō chishiya #chishiya shuntaro x reader #shuntaro chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya imagine #chishiya shuntaro imagine #chishiya x y/n #Imawa no Kuni no Alice #chishiya smut

[doki-doki-imagines]

Synopsis: Your posts don’t show up in the tags and it annoys you endlessly, your boyfriend thinks you are really dumb.

Inspired by what is happening to me right now, I think the health of my stomach is way more important than my dumb stuff showing up, my brain is settled, but my body isn’t. Anyway I only choose characters that I think would “bully” you in this situation LOL. So I wrote this because my brattiness won't make me accept the situation, if this doesn't show up I'll laugh a lot btw

Slightly suggestive

Feat. Sae Itoshi, Tabito Karasu

If years ago someone told Sae that he would end up with an idiot of your caliber he would just have scoffed and told them to “fuck off”. Too bad fate had other plans for him, that’s why he finds himself in the living room, with his partner all curled up on his sofa, half-crying half-pissed off because a post of theirs doesn’t show up in the tags.

One of those posts for fictional men moreover. One of those where the reader do something romantic, if not pure smut, with a fictional man.

The idea of throwing you out of his house really tickles his brain, but your long face and teary eyes are pulling the strings of his heart and he really can’t bring himself to do it.

“Dumbass instead of crying over a fictional man shouldn’t you spend time with your real and talented boyfriend?” Annoyance drips from his voice like venom.

“I know! I’m just frustrated okay? It’s like doing good dribbles, but then always getting blocked by a defender. Easier to understand?”

It would have been if only you didn’t sob every 5 seconds, plus Sae can’t avert his eyes from the snot running down your nose making you look even more pathetic.

The gears in Sae’s brain start moving and soon his body follows, that’s how you found your nose roughly cleaned, in typical Itoshi fashion, eyes puffy, but with no tears, and Sae jacket on your shoulder.

“Why are you looking at me like a dumb fish? Move your fat ass I’m gonna take you to that new burger restaurant, I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

He is already out of the door when you run to him, attracted to Sae like a moth to light.

Sae knows pretty well frustration, the pain in the stomach when things don’t work as you wish to, but he also knows best how to deal with it; by trying to fill your mind with other activities. Maybe now is the burger and how tasty it is and maybe later your mind will be filled with the taste of his tongue down your throat in the backseat of his car, all the attention on him; “rightfully so” he thinks.

He shouldn’t be jealous of fictional men, he really shouldn’t. It’s what Tabito keeps repeating to himself, but why is he!? He knows the point is that nobody can’t see what you’ve written about those guys and not that you’d rather read than spend time with him, but he’s getting livid every second that goes by. Tabito even contacted the assistence to help with your post, but nothing, it just won’t show up and he doesn’t know what’s worse: your sad face with tears staining your desk or his jealousy, anyway they are both making his heart ache.

“Why do you care so much about this! It should be a hobby, probably nobody cares about what you write anyway!” No – shit, fuck he didn’t want to be so mean.

Tabito doesn’t need to look at your face to understand that he went a bit too far. Your lips wobble ready to let out a sigh, and damn he wishes he could turn them into a smile, but he just stutters

“I’m sorry darling I was too-“ then a ding, you both turn to the light source

You look at your smartphone. Your post finally is showing up.

Screams, tears of joy, you throw yourself on Tabito, the chair he is sitting on tilting back, but not enough to make both of you fall. Fucking finally the God up there took pity on the both of you.

“I’m so happy for you”

“Really? You were pretty nasty about this before, crow boy” you sing sang, sitting now on his thighs, Tabito's pale face making you snicker.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Oh, my jealous boy…maybe if you kiss me-“

You can’t even finish the phrase that Tabito’s lips are on yours, the lips that make the butterflies in your stomach always go crazy, the lips that make you feel warm and loved like no one ever can.

“I don’t think one kiss will make me forget, I think I’ll need some more”

“Gladly” Tabito replies, voice already huskier than before.

Your sweet kisses are the only sound in the room, your post forgot, your mind only for that ass of your boyfriend

Finally

#bllk imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #sae itoshi x reader #tabito karasu x reader