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erixyin · 2 years

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Big Trigger Warning!!!!: Discussing self harm in various forms, being self destructive, and eating disorders. Please do NOT read if you are sensitive to any of these triggers. You're safety and mental health is more important than my post of thoughts

I think the hardest thing about getting over an addiction, regardless of whatever it was, is not relapsing. To not allow it to sink back into your life, even if it's in a very subtle way.

Some context - I used to self harm pretty heavily when i was a young teenager. In the form of cutting or in suffocating myself until I'd almost pass out. In other more subtle ways, like giving myself a carpet burn or digging my nails into my skin. I used to starve myself and then binge eat, which was my way of controlling my body image and body weight because society had deemed that I was too overweight. [For the record, only now at the age of 22 after 6 years of having a better diet and response to eating, only now am I the healthy correct weight that I should be for someone who is my height and age.) My teenage years were definitely one of the darkest periods of my life, though I saw a way out with university. And while I did thrive in university and have met people I will love and cherish for years, I equally had one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Back to my original point of getting over addiction - right now I am in the stablest position I have ever been in my life, and when things get particularly bad I can feel myself wanting to relapse back into those destructive coping mechanisms I had as a teen. I can see the way I used to cope creep back into my regular routine. For example: I'm only living on snacks and one meal per day. It's not a conscious decision, it's just one that my body is used to making. Pushing away important things so that I can keep choosing short term forms of happiness over simple tasks. Other self destructive behaviour such as re-reading the past mistakes and making myself re-live those memories. Psycho-analyzing my past childhood trauma and relating it to adult experiences. Having to forcefully hide sharp objects, as I keep walking back into the room and staring at the object/holding it for no reason. I know what these little destructive tendencies are building up to, and I'm trying to not allow myself to sink back down and relapse. Usually I would rely on the support system I have in place to deal with these things, but that has been failing for a few months now and I'm running out of room. I have asked for help from certain places but my support system has lost a few branches. And I can't keep asking for help from the same people because the help I need is professional. Tried to get professional support but the waiting list is over a year and I can't afford private professional help. Trying very hard to not spiral back into where I was and continue to move forward. But it's not easy, with people I have lost faith in or I have put too much faith in. In the end I know we will help ourselves and come up with new solutions but it is so much stress to put onto one system. So to the people that have gotten over any form of trauma or addictions such as the topics I have mentioned above, I am very proud of you. It's not easy. And struggling not to relapse is so difficult that I'm proud of you if you haven't. And I am not blaming tat people that have, 6 years on and it still tempts me and I understand that that temptation is just too easy to pass up. Sorry for the long post. Just needed to have a closed but open talk. Tumblr is the best place to do it. [Not the host]

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taiwantalk · 7 months

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#ever notice that the parties who gave rise to the hostile power are always the ones who warned about catastrophe if fought back?#it’s been a catastrophe to europe ever since russia invaded ukraine #it’s been a catastrophe ever since hamas launched massive terror on Israel #it’s been a catastrophe ever since russia installed proxy autocracy in Africa #it’s been a catastrophe ever since china seeks to claim South China Sea #it’s never been a catastrophe to nato countries when nato support ukraine to fight back #citizens of the world need to unite. democratic countries need to unite #the next contemptuous alliance of russia #china and Iran is already materialized #anyone else still hedging their bets will regret it #do not take america for granted. there is simply no telling if america can fight off all the foreign subversions by itself.#taiwantalk

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flowers-and-literature · 11 months

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Omg I'm feeling so fed up with some cis people in my life rn like. Hey. Man. Maybe don't out me to anyone and everyone and maybe especially not to people with even a smidge of authority or power over me? Maybe?? Just an idea????? And hey dude maybe you could, like, not respond to finding out I'm trans with "yeah her real name is (deadname) but she prefers Harper" holy shit I am shooting you directly between the eyes. And omg I love my friends y'know but like hey guys maybe don't just go around announcing my gender identity to everyone just because I felt comfortable enough to share it with you guys? That's really fucking private stuff you can't just correct everyone whenever someone calls me my deadname sometimes I'm willing to put up with the deadnaming rather than the alternative?? Idk man moral of the story I need more trans friends and to my cis friends holy shit think before you out me omg also stop! Buying! Harry Potter stuff!! I am respectively smashing your skull in with a rock!!!

#vent #dude like. holy shit. think #and ik i sound really petty rn but like it feels like a lot of the acceptance i get from cis people is kinda performative??#like yeah dude. tell me how much you support me and what a safespace being around you is.#that's not gonna erase the hundreds of dollars of harry potter merchandise you're still actively seeking out.#that's not gonna erase the pronouns you use when I'm not around. that's not gonna erase the jokes you laughed along with.#sure you accept my gender identity but at the end of the day are you gonna be defending it? are you gonna be fighting for it?#anyway I'm tired i need something to eat happy pride guys 1 like and I'm exploding everything <333

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herawell · 3 months

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#negativity cw #my mom is giving me an ultimatum to seek out therapy #and it’s currently sitting in the pit of my stomach for many reasons #not least of which it’s royally hypocritical of her to be singing the praises of therapy #when she’s been in therapy for the last year #and it supposedly helped her so much #and she still does not see anything wrong with blaming me every year since I was 13 #for her and my dad fighting and being on the verge of divorce #suicide mention cw #for attempting in front of me when I was 20 and telling me it would be my fault #while I whisper screamed for her not to because it was after midnight #she does not see anything wrong with those #has repeatedly stated in multiple conversations we’ve had since #and this is years later after I graduated college and got a full time job and moved out #after we’d begin to establish a relationship as adults on equal footing #after she’d been in therapy herself for a year to supposedly great success #if that’s what she has to show for therapy #then I’ll pass #it honestly bothers me deep to my core #even though our relationship is otherwise very loving and supportive #(and maybe it bothers me even more because our relationship is otherwise so good)#that she could do all of those and still blame me for them and not have the slightest bit of guilt for it #I was a fucking child #and later a young adult with struggles that you literally yourself have said were perfectly normal #she’s said to me that I have nothing to be ashamed about with regards to taking 5.5 years to finish my undergrad degree #and the multiple botched/failed semesters/lying/hiding/avoiding #she told me that #but she also told me that everything was indeed my fault #because I was their first kid to attend college in the USA and they we’re learning about the systems in this country #and they didn’t know about all the alternative options available

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qqweebird · 6 months

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best oart of adderall is when you go from being fucking dead tired to suddenly feeling your mind clear. like literally a heavy fog lifting from your brain. can actually hold ur eyes open and pay attention

#yknow maybe half the benefits i get from adderall arent what im ‘supposed’ to be using for #*using it for #but as a chronically exhausted depressed bitch its so convenient #ill be fighting sleep in class then BAM 30 mins after i took my meds im wide awake and engaged #worst part is if youre not actually doing anything before/when it kicks in #potion of heart palpitations for an hour #birdsong #i fully support ‘drug seeking’ for adderall for college students after how it has helped me #i mean still get a script or at least try to take it appropriately if you get it secondhand #bc i know it can still fuck you up #but like. literally. if u think u have adhd or you just struggle with executive function and task completion #for the love of god try to get medicated. it improved my mood way more noticably than my ssri did alone #stimulants arent for everyone but literally talk to a doc and try it out. at least so you can rule it out.

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malkaviian · 11 months

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chase is not the healthiest person to get into a relationship with. and now that i developed him more, caspian definitely also isn't. managing untreated mental illness and a relationship can be a bit hard sometimes. they're doing their best because they love each other so much, though.

#oc talk #an ongoing issue on their relationship that both of them hate when its brought up its the fact none of them seek therapy #despite each other's efforts on getting the other do so. and tbf the one who provokes it is chase. he refuses to get professional help #because he feels as if he doesnt deserve it; that he was just born broken and there isnt anything left do to about him.#and cas feels is really hypocritical of him to then go and ask HIM to get help with his own issues when they even have the same diagnostic.#and also; cas yearns stability. and as bad as it sounds; the persistent sadness is something that has been 'stable' thorough his life #so hes really afraid of going to therapy and losing that. recovering is scary for him. if chase WANTED to recover then #maybe that would give him a boost + theyre together in that scary path; but he just. doesnt. he stays silent and then changes the subject #so no point on doing that all alone; despite how much chase would try to genuinely support him as much as possible if he went to therapy.#getting together was good for the both of them because at least chase can manage his anger issues a bit better #so he doesnt snaps and yells over minor things; and least tries to take care of his physical integrity and not get killed during fights lol #meanwhile cas could get over his extreme feelings towards mica and get out of that also really weird 'relationship' they had #in which he did weird and fucked up things for him. still has to dissociate hurting himself from receiving love but he is; in fact; trying.#however they got stuck. the next step is therapy with a professional and theyre not getting it; one feels he doesnt deserves it #and the other refuses to do it alone because hes scared. they really should have a serious talk about this tbh it could benefit them a lot #remind me when i wake up to update y'all about how the story between them changed a bit now that mica's on the picture

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emphistic · 25 days

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Obsessed with your work frfr. Can I get a fic or anything you're comfortable with sukuna's friends coming over to his place and the reader sleeping in his bed or smth and him getting all protective and his friends teasing him. Thanks!

"You two are so annoying," Sukuna muttered into his mic, looking back at your calmly sleeping figure on his bed.

"Don't be such a party pooper, 'Kuna!" Gojo's laughter sounded through the pink-haired man's headset.

"I told you already, don't call me that."

"Aww, so your girlfriend can call you pet names but little ol' me can't? You're really showing your true colors here, man," Gojo feigned to cry.

"Could not care less," Sukuna rolled his eyes, his fingers swiftly clicking on the keyboard as he continued his game.

"I am to going to come over there and fuck you up."

"Satoru—" Geto tried to stop his white-haired friend.

"Try me. I'll kick your ass." Sukuna quickly retorted.

"Nah, I'd win."

A pinging sound was emitted through the Discord call as Gojo disconnected. Geto sighed, "Let's hope he's not actually going."

"Knowing him he's probably just going to rejoin the call. Give it a few minutes."

The few minutes were given and Gojo did not rejoin the call or the game lobby.

Sukuna drummed his fingers on his desk, clearly bored. "Damn, that idiot is really out of it today, huh. Died three games in a row to a bunch of newbies, and now thinks he can beat me in fight."

"I'll see if I can catch him midway, and drag him back," Geto suggested.

"Good luck with that," Sukuna chuckled.

Another ping sounded through Sukuna's headset as Geto left the call. The pink-haired man disconnected from the call as well, and sat up from his chair, slowly walking over towards you.

He admired your sleeping face, the fall and rise of your chest slightly hidden beneath your (his) sweater, the drool dribbling down your chin onto his pillow — which he didn't mind.

He gingerly brushed aside a strand of your hair so he could get an even better look at your face. Despite having been together for more than two years now, Sukuna still blushed at the thought and sight of you. Could you blame him though?

Sukuna slightly jumped at the sound of his doorbell ringing. He looked down at you to see if you had woken up from that but you only shifted a bit, unconsciously nuzzling your face into his palm, seeking his warmth.

What the hell? Was that dumbass actually being for real? Sukuna thought, as he reluctantly pulled away from you and walked out his room to go open the door.

This time, instead of the doorbell ringing, there was a pounding on the door.

"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" Sukuna quickly unlocked the door and, lo and behold, standing outside was a scene he was not expecting to see, like, ever.

Gojo, bent down with his hands on his knees, dripping sweat and huffing and puffing. Tufts of his white hair were everywhere, even more messed up than usual. Geto, who was leaning on the wall for support, was not looking much better than his friend.

"I'm sorry," Geto said, his chest heaving, "I tried to stop him, I swear."

Sukuna scrunched up his face, "You ran . . . all the way over here? From your building?"

"Uh huh, that's right," Gojo held out a thumbs up, still heavily panting. "Let me in, I'm going to beat your ass up now."

"No way in Hell, Satoru. And even if I did, you are in no condition to go toe to toe with me," Sukuna pointed to himself with his thumb at the word 'me'.

"C'mon, dude. I need a water, my throat is as dry as your game," Gojo continued to pursue.

"Yeah, my game is just sooo dry, huh? I'm literally the only one here with a girl on my arm."

"Bro, just let me in," Gojo pushed Sukuna aside, and stumbled into his apartment. Geto glanced at Sukuna with an apologetic look on his face, "My bad."

Sukuna sighed, mouthing, "Don't worry about it."

The three men settled in the kitchen. Gojo stuck his head in Sukuna's fridge and searched for a cold drink. Having finally fished one out, he stood back upright, leaning on the counter and drinking.

"So," the white-haired male said, between gulps, "where's the girl?"

"The girl?"

Gojo nodded, still drinking. "Uh huh. Where she at?"

"Sleeping." Sukuna gestured to the closed door at the other end of the apartment.

"How rude of her, the most amazing, handsomest man is in her home and she is sleeping?" Gojo placed his water bottle on the counter, and put a hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

"’Don't blame her. I would do the same," Geto joked, Sukuna let out a reverberating laugh.

Gojo rolled his eyes, before storming over to your room. Sukuna quickly moved to standing in front of the door, blocking Gojo from entering.

"Hmm, what's this? You have something to hide, Sukuna? Perhaps . . . drugs? Substances? Or maybe, another girl in your bed?" Gojo rubbed his chin with both his index and thumb simultaneously.

Sukuna scowled at Gojo, "You don't know shit. I do not have another girl in there."

Gojo raised a brow, "Then why would you not want me entering?"

"Because you would wake the girl up, obviously," Geto added, coming to Sukuna's defense.

Sukuna sighed, "Fine, you wanna see so bad? Be my guest." Sukuna turned around and twisted the knob, pushing the door open. He was the first to step in.

Gojo snickered, his eyes landing on your form, "Guess you don't have another girl in here."

"Will you quiet down? You're going to wake her up and she's going to kick you two out. You know she gets more cranky than anyone else," Sukuna whisper-shouted, not helping his cause.

"Tch, she would never kick me out. I'm a literal blessing to be near," everyone rolled their eyes at Gojo's remark.

At this, you rolled over in bed, opening your eyes to glare at the three men in your bedroom.

"I've been awake for the last two hours, you assholes. You guys are so loud that even when Sukuna is wearing headphones I can still hear Gojo screaming his head off. I mean, seriously, do you guys ever close your mouths? For, like, even a second."

The three men all switched their gazes between you, and each other. Geto was the only one sensible enough to apologize to you, before stepping out of the room and leaving you to continue glaring at Sukuna and Gojo, who were now both sweating buckets.

"Baby, I swear, I tried to stop them—"

"Don't 'baby' me," you glowered at your lover.

"Oooh, someone's in trouble," Gojo didn't even attempt to muffle his laughter.

"You: Gojo, get out. Sukuna, you can make your own dinner."

"Wha– babe, please, you're cooking is way—"

"Don't make me say it again."

Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @lich1 @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius

#sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna fluff

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transmasc-totoro · 1 year

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I love being at home. Right now it’s harder than it usually is. My sister is home as well. I often idealize childhood when we were all under one roof, but I forget the lack of privacy. It feels suffocating at the moment. I can’t relax awake because I feel like I’m on guard all the time, perched on the edge of my seat as I watch tv in the tv room waiting for someone to burst in and demand to know what I’m doing, why I’m not doing x or helping with y, I need to vacate the room, etc. i haven’t been sleeping. I feel like I’m under a microscope, like I can’t escape the gaze and judgement and questioning. Think I need to take a long walk tomorrow.

#hmm #musings #excuse me for this #I feel quite out of sorts at the moment. troubling #Eben talks #my family is lovely and kind and I adore them all #a loving supportive family can still be terribly judgmental #and god knows my anxiety is triggered much more easily in the crucible of this house #my mom and sister got into a brief fight today and I snapped into an old operating procedure I barely remembered.#I was at once frightened and ready/wanting to dart upstairs to escape and avoid the argument turning to me #and desperately listening to everything to witness everything being said to my sister #it’s much better now #the emergence of old patterns seeks to remind me how bad things were at times #I need to see a therapist when I return to school #tag talk

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thehighladywrites · 3 months

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ACOTAR MEN X READER, BANNING THEM FROM INTIMACY

☀︎ — summary: you let them know they’re not allowed to touch you in any way, shape or form. How do they react!

☀︎ — warnings: 18+, nsfw, az being a slut as per usual, cassian being yummy, touchy needy fae males, slight dumbification in lucien’s

☀︎ — amara’s note: lucien was my fav one to write omgggg, also i hope u sluts enjoy😈😈😈😈 also enjoy while i work with tutor az👀👀

RHYSAND

“You’re putting me on a ban? You can’t be serious.”

“Nuh-uh Rhys, you flirted with that girl so have fun by yourself for the unforseeable future.”

Rhysand didn’t actually flirt with anyone, he was being his usual self and the way the girl was leaning towards him made you angry so you just blamed him instead

He gets through the first few days calmly although he is mildy irritated. Especially when Cassian and Azriel tease him about it.

“So no sexy time for you Rhysie, that must suck,” Cassian says as he ties his hair back.

“Well, not really much sucking these days, right?” Azriel snickers, getting ready for the inevitable fight

Rhysand takes out his frustration on them for their smart little comments.

Rhysand has quite a high libido so that man usually fucks you good atleast once a day even when you’re both busy.

“Darling, please forgive me. I will never do it again. Tell me what I can do to earn your forgiveness.”

He begs and begs because he’s going a bit crazy

In the end, it takes him only three days for you to forgive him and lift the ban. The man is charming and seduces you into dropping the ban

The second you drop the ban, he grabs your waist, throws you over his shoulder and winnows to the cabin where he fucks you for a week straight.

“That oughta put that nasty idea out of your head forever” he says, patting your head while smiling at your ruined self. Mascara running, laboured breathing, and a pounding heart is your only answer

Yeah this man wrecks you and you never pull this stunt again…

YUMMM MHE IS SO DELICIOUS 👹👹👹👹

ERIS

“You may not touch me or have sex with me in any way until I say you can.”

He narrows his eyes as he slightly smiles when you announce a ban on all intimate activities for the unforseeable future.

“Is that so?”

You cross your arm on your chest, lifting your chin in defiance.

“Yes, that’s right. Since you want to entertain Nesta Archeron, you may not be in my vicinity.”

You are being waaaaaay too dramatic. He didn’t even spare her a single glance until you pointed to her. Nothing at all happened, I mean the male didn’t even know she was at the ball until you told him.

Nesta walked up and was a bit too close to him and even though Eris moved to your side, giving her an unamused look, you were still irritated

And since you couldn’t take it out on her, you take it out on Eris.

But Eris knows what you’re doing, he knows how extremely dramatic you are being, so he just lets you cool off, let’s you huff and puff around the house

You are a mess. An absolute mess

You find yourself longing for Eris's touch, even just a simple headpat from him would send you into cardiac arrest.

The fact that you lasted an entire week is insane bc you’re both touching each other in some way all the time

When you’re lounging; his head rests on your chest, and you lovingly massage his scalp, running your fingers through his hair. Alternatively, he pulls you closer to his body under a warm blanket, nestled in his neck, while he warms his hands for you, acting as your personal heater.

When you’re in public; he always has a hand on your lower back, waist or you walk hand in hand. You also wrap your hands around his biceps, caressing the arm when you feel tired

When you’re in a meeting; your hands naturally seek each other under the table. Whenever one of you gets heated or irritated, the other soothes them by rubbing their thumb on the back of their hand, offering quiet support.

After a week of torture you finally breakdown in his office, storming in and placing your palms on his wooden desk. He looks up at your curiously, an eyebrow raised.

“Okay, I can’t do this anymore, please touch me, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Eris is just as desperate as you are but he wants to drag this out just a tiny bit more before giving in

“Interesting. You initiated this ban, yet you’re the one who can’t follow through? You were fine without me for a whole week, I think you’ll manage another one.”

Your jaw drops in disbelief. Another week? No, you’d rather die.

“I think not. I will beg if I have to. Touch me, please. I will probably die if I go another week without you.”

He leans back in his chair, puts his arms behind his head as his arms bulge. One of your biggest weaknesses

“Normally, I’d make you beg but I missed you aswell. Come here.”

You damn near cry in relief when you sit in his lap and nestle in his arms. His warm hands rub your back and thighs, making you impossibly more relaxed

“This was one of the dumbest things I have ever done. Never again.” You whine against his neck, kissing it over and over again.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he says, emotional as he press a kiss to your head

AZRIEL

“Okay.”

That is all he says when you tell him your banning him from touching you. Honestly, you thought he’d have a bigger reaction so you start getting second thoughts.

But you thug it out bc you still want to prove a point even though he looks super unbothered

In reality, Azriel is panicking on the inside

Although he knows he can physically withstand sex, it’s the love and intimacy he misses the most

So he does the one thing he knows you won’t resist

He sluts around the house

Okay, he walks around shirtless or with super tight black shirts thst highlight years and years of working out

Azriel knows you’re weak for his muscles and body so flaunting it around is step one of his plan.

Step two of his plan draws him extremely close to you, mere inches away. He leans in as you speak, exploiting yet another weakness.

He wears delicious colognes that make your eyes flutter. He wears chains around his neck and leans over you.

Azriel’s final and ultimate slut move is waking up in the morning, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he speaks. It's all it takes for you to cave in to his charms.

You find yourself the one begging for his touch, unable to resist the longing for his embrace. You babble about never wanting to go so long without feeling his presence again.

CASSIAN

Cassian’s love language is most definitely touch so when you tell him that he is banned from here on out, he freezes.

Like it doesn’t make any sense, he actually can’t grasp the concept.

“What does that even mean? What do you mean I can’t touch you?”

Tha man is flabbergasted

He will follow you around, apologizing for his behavior over and over. You’ve already forgiven him since it was a minor thing but he doesn’t know that

Cassian starts carrying a pillow with him, imagining it is you. He craves touch, and if it's from a damn pillow, he'll gladly take it

He pouts as you try to surpress a smile at his expression. He’ll give you puppy eyes in hopes of you dropping the annoying ban

Eventually, Cassian levels up and becomes extra touchy with the inner circle instead, seeking any physical touch

A confused Azriel gets extra pats on the shoulder, but Cassian's hand lingers, staying put longer than usual, leaving Azriel puzzled by the sudden change in his behavior.

An amused Rhysand receives more hugs, but Cassian's hugs linger, holding him close as if imagining you there for a moment.

Obviously, nothing compares to you, and the whole situation only makes Cassian more irritated.

No sex is just unbearable. Jerking off isn’t fun at all and he can count on one hand how many times he had to use his hands since you got together

After only one and a half day you start to miss his touches and get jealous that your friends is getting his warm touches instead.

You’re also very horny and since you and cassian have a VERY active sex life, it makes a lotta sense. This male usually fucks you 1-2 times everyday, and I mean EVERY day

Seriously not a day goes by without some action, whether it be fingering, bjs, handjobs, nipple play, him eating you out, 69 just anything really

When you finally, after 1,5 excruciating days let him touch you, he smiles and thank the Mother then drags you to your bedroom

Y’all don’t come out for a solid 2-3 business days

Ever since the ban, he is stuck to you like glue fr

LUCIEN

Lucien is very calm for someone who isn’t allowed to touch his mate

“You’re banning me from touching you? That’s really cute,” Lucien remarks casually, a hint of amusement in his tone as he takes a sip of his peppermint tea.

You furrow your brows, pouting. “I'm not joking, Lucien. If you touch me, I'll scream,” you assert firmly, crossing your arms over your chest. With lifted chin and proud gaze, you stand your ground, making your new and temporary boundaries clear.

Lucien chuckles softly. “Yeah? You’ll scream? Love, you scream real nice for me when I touch you anyway, so what's really new?” he teases, getting closer to you.

“I mean, do you really want me to not touch you?” Lucien asks, his voice low as he inches closer and closer until your faces are mere inches apart.

He gets so close, his warmth leaving you breathless. His soft, plump lips barely brush against yours, the touch so light it's almost not there.

“Tell me, my sweet, perfect girl,” he murmurs, his breath mingling with yours, “who put this idea in your head?”

You are barely functioning, your words stuck in your throat as you struggle to come up with a response.

“I know you're too out of it to properly respond to me right now, and it's okay,” Lucien says gently, his tone teasing. “I guess using your brain is a tough task, hm?”

You nodded absentmindedly, distracted by his charming smile

“M'sorry, Lucien,” you mumble, your words breathless and slightly slurred. “It was just a joke. I really want you to touch me,” you admit, your voice trailing off as you become increasingly dumbfounded in his intoxicated presence.

He tsked with mock sympathy. “It's okay, sweetheart,” he said gently, gripping your chin. “Let’s not say things we don’t mean the next time, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t.” you say blushing at the proximity before giving him a sweet sweet kiss on the lips. Lucien pulls you in closer and y’all fuck right there on the kitchen table but damn it was good

Yeah, banning Lucien from intimacy will never work

🏷️: @thelov3lybookworm @redbleedingrose @acourtofladydeath @acourtofwhatthefuck @clairebear08 @rowaelinsdaughter @artists-ally @berryzxx @aroseinvelaris @cupidojenphrodite @jeannineee @daycourtofficial

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avocad1s · 11 months

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Note: This has been in my drafts for a while, so while I’m finishing Part Seven, I’ll post this.

Character Included: Zhongli, Venti, Ei, Tsaritsa, Xiao, Ganyu, Diluc, Ningguang, Childe, Scaramouche, Dottore

This is long so everyone else is utc! :>

As the Creator, suitors will seek to win your attention. Your inherent beauty is unparalleled, many could only imagine to be graced with your physical or verbal affections. So when word gets out that you want to be with someone romantically, everyone will jump at the opportunity.

If you pick one of the ARCHONS, no one in Teyvat would be surprised. It was obvious you valued them the most out of everyone in Teyvat, they had the strongest connection to you.

If you pick is Zhongli, that is when his identity as the former Geo Archon is officially revealed. Many were surprised to see that their Archon never died, and others questioned why he wanted to take a mortal form in the first place. However none of those things mattered when he was the one you held dear.

Liyue as a whole held a ton of pride it was their Archon you wanted to be with. That means you’ll want to stay in their nation permanently, no? For Zhongli, this is a moment he has waited millennia’s for. He always knew he was your most devoted, everything he’s done was for the betterment of Teyvat and you. When it comes to your relationship, He will do anything to make you happy. If it’s as small as getting you your own Serenitea Pot? Consider it done. If it’s something as major as becoming the Geo Archon again? He’ll do it in a heartbeat.

As much as he cares for you, Zhongli knows that you still have matters to attend to in the other nations. He would be glad to go with you if you wanted but he also has no problem staying in Liyue until you return. He’s waited this long and now that he has you, being apart for a little bit won’t hurt (at least that’s what he tells himself after you’re gone for two weeks).

Considered to be the weakest of the seven, Venti is ecstatic that he is the one you want to be with. He has a carefree and playful nature that bleeds into his nation naturally, but even if he doesn’t show his devotion as strongly as Zhongli, it’s still present.

He enjoys doing any activity with you, do you enjoy wine? Well let him take you to Diluc’s Tavern for the best wine you can drink. Naturally he always offers to pay, but unknown to you he’ll just put it on his never ending tab. (not that anyone would ever charge you for anything, you’re their God!). Do you enjoy his singing? He’s absolutely flattered! Let him sing you all the songs he knows, and eventually you’ll two will be able to perform duets of the songs you enjoy the most.

Just like in Liyue, Venti’s true identity will be revealed once your relationship is announced. Mondstadt will be overjoyed, not only has Lord Barbatos returned but he has secured the love of the Creator themselves. You should do expect lots of songs made about you two. You both will be a symbol of love in the nation of Freedom. Not only that, Mondstadt will plan many festivals throughout the year dedicated to the two of you. (Perhaps even a marriage?)

Just like his nation, Venti values freedom above all else. He would never want to hold you back from doing anything you love, so if you wish to visit other nations he has no problem with it. Of course there will be times he’d want to go with you, especially if the nation you’re going to is having some event in your name but Mondstadt is his home and that’s where he likes to stay. Don’t worry though, he will always be waiting for your return and he will have more songs to sing and stories to recite while you both relax in Windrise.

This could go one of two ways with Ei.

If you choose her during the vision hunt decree, it would solidify in her head that what she’s doing is right and that even her Creator supports it. She would be way more harsh in pursuing her view of eternity, the fight with the rebellious army would end quickly once the Shogun joins the battlefield. Now they aren’t just disrespecting her, they are disrespecting you. She will not allow that.

The citizens of Teyvat would be conflicted. Should they get rid of their visions? Do you not like them? Maybe you’ll show them they same value if they didn’t have them anymore. It would certainly be a mess for you to clean.

Also in this scenario leaving Inazuma would be… difficult. Ei doesn’t understand why you want to leave, what can those nations offer you that she can’t. She’s doing this all for you and her sister, can’t you see that?

Now if you choose her after the Traveler’s involvement in Inazuma, she would be different. Now she’s trying to find another way to pursue eternity and having you there to support and help her definitely makes her feel better about the situation. She wants to have a better relationship with her nation but she doesn’t know how to go about that, but everyone adores you so being with you should help! At least she hopes.

On the rare occasion she decides to walk around Inazuma city she would be happy if you go with her. She can be a bit awkward at times since she doesn’t believe she should indulge herself but if you tell her she can have all the dango and dango milk she desires she’ll come around to the idea. Especially if you’re indulging with her.

“Oh… You’re picking the Tsaritsa? Oh no! There’s no problem with that, you can pick whoever you like Your Grace.”

That is a line you’d hear all the time after announcing your affections for the ice queen. Not many people can think of Snezhnaya without thinking of the Fatui and all of the… things they’ve done in each nation.

Although to the rest of the world, the groups motives are unknown it must be something you support if you harbor affection for the founder of the Fatui, right?

No matter, even if people would have their objections to the union, no one would dare say anything. The Fatui’s power would only grow stronger, many would believe that going against them now means that they go against you. (They might even use that to their advantage)

The Tsaritsa cares deeply for you. As if you are a flame, her cold persona melts immediately when she’s in the presence of you. She’d do absolutely anything for you, and I mean anything. She’s already forsaken her relationships with her fellow Archons so if you make any requests about your distaste of other nations she will waste no time taking care of it.

Unlike the other Archons, she’s is open to killing for you, even if she doesn’t do it herself, she has a lot of powerful people who can take care of it for her.

When it comes to you leaving the nation, she’ll be reluctant. Snezhnaya has everything you need, why would you want to go anywhere else? Are you cold? She can easily get you some warmer clothes or warm you up herself. She’ll come up with any excuse to keep you to here. Don’t get it wrong though, she still has lots of respect for you and your word is still law. If you stay stubborn about leaving the snowy nation, she’ll give up and let you leave. But she will always have an eye on you so don’t worry :)

If you pick one of the ADEPTI Liyue feels honored, you may not have feelings for their Archon but the Adepti are the next best thing, right? The rest of Teyvat are a bit confused, what’s so special about these illuminated beasts that caught your attention?

The tactful Ganyu is conflicted if she can only pick one of her two lives. Humanity or the Adepti. Is she capable of doing both? She’ll try her hardest, her contract with Rex Lapis and her position as the secretary to the Liyue Qixing makes her schedule impossibly full. However she will always make time for you.

You mean everything to her, when she fought in the Archon War by Rex Lapis’ side it was for you. Being with you is a dream come true, it was something she always fantasized about. Although she never thought she’d actually catch your eye.

Anytime you’re in Liyue she’ll attach herself to your side catering to your every need. For once she doesn’t mind putting off her work if it means she can spend more time with you. She’ll take you to best places to eat in Liyue, bring you to drink tea with the rest of the Adepti, and if you wish to watch her spar with the Conquerors Of Demons. Well don’t blame her is she shows off a bit.

Once your stay in Liyue comes to an end, Ganyu will drown herself in her work. She has so much catching up to do and even though she regrets it now, she knows she’ll do it again once you come back to her.

Oh Xiao… he believes he doesn’t deserves the value you give him. As much as he cares and loves you, he came to terms that he’d only watch you from afar. He will protect Liyue for you so you can enjoy the greatest things this world has to offer. So why? He wants to ask. All of the blood he has shed over the centuries, how can you feel this way about him?

It’s obvious that Xiao has a good amount of self- depreciation, he feels as if he has to push everyone he cares about away. All of his fellow Yaksha has fallen and Xiao doesn’t want to drag anyone down with him.

Yet staying away from you is hard for him, when all you want is to be with him how can he refuse a request from his God? He fears that getting to close to you would makes his worst nightmare come true, but eating Almond Tofu with you won’t hurt anything… and maybe looking at the stars on top of Wangshuu Inn?

You are a double edged sword for Xiao, being with you makes him fear you may get hurt. However when you two are apart, he feels his karmic debt downing him.

But if you don’t show affections for him until after his time in the Chasm with Yelan and the others, he would be drastically different. He now realizes that his life, like everyone else’s, has meaning. He doesn’t have to push the ones he cares for away and he doesn’t have to constantly sacrifice himself for others.

In this instance Xiao would try way harder when it comes to being with you, he doesn’t know much about relationships or any type of customs that comes with it, but he will try for you. He doesn’t want to disappoint.

So it’s not the Archons nor the Adepti you desire? Well that’s completely fine! There are many other influential people that live in Teyvat. Some might even call them the LEADERS of the nation they reside in. Or maybe they are just very dependable and have gained everyone’s trust and respect.

Oh so it’s Master Diluc that you desire? Well no one in Mondstadt can blame you. He is the most desired bachelor in the nation of freedom after all. Although many are disappointed that they won’t have a chance with the tavern owner anymore, they also can’t help but feel a bit relieved that it’s you he’s with.

And my oh my, Diluc is just as surprised that you want him too, but it’s a welcome surprise. After his father died and his relationship with his brother became… strained you were all he had left. He would pray to you daily about his wine business, his tavern, or even his secret identity as the Darknight Hero.

Once you descend, his devotion to you becomes stronger.

He doesn’t trust the Knights with your safety, we all know he believes they are incompetent so once you step into Mondstadt, expect Diluc to basically be glued to your side. You want anything from the shops? Let him buy it! He has more than enough Mora to buy anything you desire. Do you want some wine? Please allow him to escort you to Dawn Winery for the finest wine he has.

Speaking of Dawn Winery, Diluc would prefer if you’d stay there. The Fatui bought out the nicest inn Mondstadt has to offer, and even though they explicitly stated they had no problem with their Crestor staying there, Diluc doesn’t want you to. He has a big issue with the Fatui and as long as you are in Mondstadt, they have no chance getting near you.

Diluc doesn’t mind when you depart Mondstadt, he knows how busy you are and he has important work to get done himself. Unless you are leaving for Snezhnaya, he will try to convince you to go somewhere else. If that doesn’t work, he will worry constantly worry about your safety in the claws of the Fatui. His prayers to you would increase until you’re back in his arms again.

There is no such thing as a secret in Liyue, so when you show affections Ningguang. Everyone in Liyue will find out fast. Not much is known about Ningguang and all of the things she does for Liyue, people will scramble to catch even a spec of knowledge that falls from the Jade Chamber.

But one thing everyone knows about the woman is how much she loves you. Before you descended, her daily routine would consist of praying to you as soon as she wakes, working, and praying again before she lays to rest. When Liyue throws celebrations in your name, she would give you the most lavish offerings. Not one person in Teyvat would be able to match anything she gives you.

Anytime you’re in Liyue she will force insist that you stay in her home. Have you seen a better place in Teyvat? She doubts it! Don’t forget about the amazing view she has up there too. Ningguang will also handle all of the expenses for anything you desire, she’s arguably the richest woman in Teyvat there is not one thing you’d want that would be out of her budget. If her God wants it, you will have it

She’d treat you to the most luxurious meals you will ever have, making sure everything is adjusted to your tastes. Even if the spices you like don’t originate from Liyue, she will send people to go get whatever you need. All that matters to her is to see you happy.

Erm, Your Grace? The one you desire is a FATUI HARBINGER? You should stay away from the likes of them. They have no good intentions, all they do is exploit innocent people and gain power over the other nations. The Fatui has no respect for…

There are only four things Childe cares for, his family, the Tsaritsa, fighting, and you. As he grew up, his family told him how amazing you were and all he dreamed about was meeting you face to face, and when he became a Fatui Harbinger he knew that would be possible.

However he got more than he would’ve ever imagined. He got to call you his.

Childe has no issue killing anyone for you, if anyone goes against you, he will take care of it.

Unlike anyone before, Childe will want to go everywhere with you, he’s already a Harbinger so he’s used to traveling to all of the nations and not only that, he has the money to go anywhere too (thank Pantalone for that smh)

He will rub this in the faces of his comrades, he’s the youngest Harbinger, the lowest ranked but he still managed to snag your attention? Yeah, they’re not living this down.

When it’s just the two of you though he’s soft, he’d love for you to meet his family. They mean so much to him just like you do, to have you all in the same room would make him so happy.

Where should I start with the Balladeer? He‘s a puppet and doesn’t have a heart, but these feeling he has for you is strong.

At first he tries to push you away, his… mother cares so much for you and as he tries to distance himself from her, he thought that meant he had to hate you. But he couldn’t…

As he tried to find meaning within himself, everyone kept telling him to turn to you. Even his own friend that tragically died had told him that your divine light would guide him in the right direction. He didn’t want to listen.

Once he had joined the Fatui he figured he wouldn’t hear about you again, but oh boy was he wrong. He hadn’t met anyone more devoted to you than this group, everything they do is for you. All of the killing, exploiting, experimenting, and lying was done in your name and honor.

Scaramouche needed something to latch on to, his mother thought he was useless, and unbeknownst to him at the time, his attachment to the Fatui was a complete lie.

He will try to be useful in any way he can. The Fatui wouldn’t matter to him anymore, getting his hands on the Electro Gnosis doesn’t matter, all that matters is what you want.

With you around, he finally has something to fill his heart with, he will do anything and everything not to upset you. The last thing he wants is for you to throw him away like everyone else.

So it’s the Doctor that you want? Can’t say that I blame you…

On the surface, it would seem that Dottore doesn’t worship you. He won’t deny your existence if asked but if he’s asked if he worships you, he’s closed off about it.

Even in his days in the Akademiya he would always pray to you for luck before his studies or exams (not that he needed it). When he was interested in ancient machines and wanted to know more, he would pray to you for a breakthrough to prove to the Akademiya scholars and sages that this is what they should be studying. However he was chased out before that could happen.

He didn’t blame you for it, in fact, leaving Sumeru had given him a better opportunity, the Fatui. They actually funded any experiment he desired, whether it was about the ancient machines, the Archons, or the secrets of Teyvat, he would know it all.

However once you arrived, you took all his attention.

It’s not that he wanted to experiment on your per say, it’s just… he wanted to know more about you! You’re the God of Gods, you have power people on Teyvat could only imagine having. Being able to take a closer look at you would mean everything.

Once the two of you become close, Sumeru are the first to regret it, the one you favor is someone they had thrown out of their nation not just once, but twice. They feel absolutely foolish.

Since you’re a God, Dottore definitely believes your have greater intelligence than the God of Wisdom herself and he would love to “poke at your brain” if you allow him, he would ask you questions about wherever you were before coming to Teyvat and how Teyvat was many centuries ago.

If this is before his time in Sumeru and creating his own God, he would still have his Segments from previous times in his life. Yeah… they’re all devoted to you too. So if you like Dottore, that means them too right?

I think it’s clear that he and his Segments do not get along, they’d all be fighting for your attention lmao (obviously he wins all the time) but if Dottore is too busy with his Harbinger duties he doesn’t mind if you want to spend time with them. It’s better than you running to someone else for attention.

Note: I am also working on a masterlist atm so that should be out once part seven comes out! 🫡

#genshin cult au #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #genshin cult #sagau zhongli #sagau venti #sagau ei #sagau xiao #sagau ganyu #sagau childe #sagau scaramouche #sagau dottore #sagau diluc #sagau ningguang #sagau fatui

4K notes · View notes

fallingdownhell · 7 months

Note

i love your recent posts but can i request hurt/comfort genshin impact xiao, wanderer, cyno where like they get into an argument about the reader being weak or something like that

although they didn't mean it, but after a few days after the argument, they see reader like training hard for them because of the fight.

Mhh, always. You know I love me a good dose of angst! And I'm sorry, but I only included two of the requested characters, because otherwise this would haven gotten way too out of hand and too much to read. Hope you're okay with that.

Characters Included: Xiao; Wanderer

Content: gender neutral reader; angst; comfort; hurt/comfort; established relationship; arguments between them and reader; shouting and cursing at reader in wanderer's scenario; Kunikuzushi/Kuni is being used for Wanderer

Word count: 2,2k words

Enjoy the read!

Xiao

You have to understand him. He's just looking out for you!

There is a clear, natural difference in strength between you and him!

He's an adeptus after all, and you're just a human! Sure, you possess a vision and you know perfectly well how to utilize it to your advantage in battle, but he's still your boyfriend! Let him be worried about you!

Honestly, he really just had your best interest and saftey in mind when he approached you one day, offering to train with you and possibly make you stronger, since he noticed your form to be a bit lacking when he watched you train.

The problem was, he told you exactly what he was thinking, no filter whatsoever. Which in turn caused you to get a bit defensive with him. That didn't sit right with Xiao, because in his eyes, he was only trying to help you.

This then resulted in a huge argument, where neither of you wanted to back down against the other.

"(Name), for the love of the Archons. Can't you see I'm only trying to help you here?"

"By berating me and telling me all the things I'm doing wrong? Without offering any advise at all? Yeah, great help.", you scoff as you turn your back to your boyfriend, trying to resume your exercise in peace. You were hoping that he would get the hint, to leave you alone. But he didn't.

"I'm really only looking out for you. You lack basic knowledge with the sword and you lack stamina as well. You're moving around too much, you make so many unnecassary movements. The hold you have on your weapon is too loose. Anyone could easily knock it out of your hand. Also-!"

"Okay! I got it!", you suddenly burst out as Xiao keeps on listing the things you're doing wrong in his eyes. It not only frustrated you, but it also made you feel so inferior.. to him and basically everyone else. You know that everyone starts out at some point. Everyone has to learn from the beginning. So why is he being so mean to you? Shouldn't he be more supporting of you as your boyfriend?

"I get it. You've made your point very clear."

You speak again, while Xiao just stares at you, mouth still hanging open. He didn't expect for you to raise your voice like this. You were usually so soft spoken.

You stared into each others eyes for a few more seconds, before you let out a sigh and placed your sword back into its sheat.

"I'm going home.", you announce as you go to grab your stuff. You collect everything and put it in your back, leaving without taking another look at him.

Suddenly, Xiao got the feeling that he made a huge mistake. Not only by "helping" you out with your training, but also as he let you go like this without having a talk with you, but something told him to let you be for the time being.

.....

Well... did he regret letting you just go like that. It has been almost a week since he last saw you, because you refused to call his name like you usually did on a daily basis.

And he was afraid of seeking you out himself, since he feared to only further sour your mood with an unannounced visit from his side. But he wanted to see you again so badly...

When the one week mark was reached without hearing anything from you, Xiao has had enough. He needed to make sure that you were okay. He was certain you would have called his name if you were in mortal danger, despite the argument at hand, but it's better to be safe than sorry. He needed to know you were still alive..

So, he teleported to your home, waiting for a few seconds in front of the door, gathering courage, before knocking on the door. He waited and waited, but nothing happened. He knocked again, but still nothing.

Xiao was about to leave again, scolding himself in his head, because of course you wouldn't open, you obviously didn't want to see him right now, when he heard noises coming from a bit further away.

Deciding to investigate, he followed the noises. And what he saw did shock him a bit..

He saw you, standing in a circle of training dummys, practicing different moves and tactics. He could tell that your hold on the blade has gotten better over the week you have been apart. In fact, everything he had critiqued about your skills seems to have improved...

Have you been training relentlessly this entire time??

This made him feel even more bad about this entire argument. He wanted to help you, not make you overexert yourself like this, just to prove something to him..

Deciding that it was finally time to talk, he approached you. You heard the footsteps coming your direction and turned towards them. Surprised to see Xiao there, you stopped in the middle of your session, facing him.

It was quiet for a few seconds as he arrived in front of you, and when you couldn't take it anymore, you decided to speak up again.

"What? Here to berate me even more?" It sounded way more sarcastic and hurtful than you had intended it to, and you saw Xiao flinch the slightest bit at your words, but you didn't back down from them.

"No..", Xiao answered weakly.

"I'm here to apologize." His words left you surprised, not expecting this at all.

"I didn't realize how much my words were hurting you. That was never my intention, (Name). I.. I'm just worried about you. There is a clear difference in skill, after all, but I shouldn't have been like this to you. I sincerely apologize for the way I treated you."

You have been with Xiao long enough to know two things. First, he was being completely honest with you. You could tell by the tone in his voice and the way he tried to look into your eyes, while also trying to avoid them at the same time, feeling embarrassed about being this vulnerable with someone.

Second, you knew just how hard it was for him to be honest and vulnerable with you. Saying this must have caused so much for him to do, yet he did it anyway.. for you.

For a second, you stood there and stared at him, before sighing and walking over to him, wrapping your arms around his body in a warm, comfortable hug. He did not hesitate for a second before doing the same, having missed this feeling dearly for the past week.

"I don't mind you helping me or giving me advise.. but maybe don't be so brash and insulting about it. Okay?"

He nodded, promising you to be more careful with his words from now on.

Wanderer

You sighed with relief as the Ruin guard in front of you collapsed and shattered into its parts, the cut on your side hurting a bit when you breathed, but it wasn't bleeding too bad, so the wound must not be too bad, either.

You were usually not that easy to surprise, but for some reason, you overlooked that particular ancient machine, resulting in it getting a hit on you before it was taken down.

Though, you were not the one responsible for taking it down. The actual reason was flying in from behind it, your boyfriend, Kuni. And while you were smiling at him, wanting to thank him for his help, he had a scowl on your face as he landed in front of you.

"What the hell were you thinking, Idiot? You would be dead now if it weren't for me being here!", he shouted as soon as he landed, not letting you get a word in.

You were taken aback by his harsh words and tone, staring at him, which only made him even more agitated.

"The hell? You don't even have an excuse! How can you be so fucking careless? I know you're weak but I wouldn't have thought of you being this stupid as well!"

You heard each and every single one of his words, and they all stung right in your chest. You were aware of the difference in power between you two, but that didn't mean you were incompetent with your polearm. You've trained long and hard to get to the point where you are now, and you were proud of yourself for it.

When you looked into his eyes again, you could see a bit of shock behind them, like he was surprised himself that the words actually left his lips.

You waited a few seconds, to see if he would apologize to you or take them back, but nothing came. Kuni's pride hindered him from doing the right thing..

"I see. If that's what you think of me, I won't be in your way again."

The words sounded cold when they left your lips, and Kunikuzushi flinched ever so slightly when hearing them, but you didn't react to it. Instead, you turned and walked away from him without acknowledging his presence any longer.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Where are you going?", he shouted after you, but no response. Then, he chased after you, but when he noticed that you were still ignoring him, he gave up on it, figuring that it would be best to leave you alone for the time being.

Surely, you would come crawling back to him soon enough... right?

....

Two weeks.

The incident has happened two weeks ago. And for those two weeks, he did not hear or see anything of you, whatsoever.

He was so sure that you wouldn't even survive a week without him before coming back and apologizing, but it seemed like he was wrong this time.

And he hated to admit this, even to himself, but.. he missed you. Missed your stupid, cheerful smile, your laugh and the way you always made his day better, just by spending time with him.

After about a week and a half, he began to think, that maybe, this time, he was actually the one in the wrong. That maybe, he took it too far with his words this time around.

Maybe.. he should be the one to apologize to you.

And yet, it took him a few more days to overcome his stupidly high pride and actually follow through with his thoughts.

Nahida, who knew all about the situation from Kuni himself, smiled and nodded proudly as the puppet went to leave the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

He first searched for you at your home, but you couldn't be found there. Then, he went on a stroll through the city, hoping to run into you along the way, but that too, proofed to be without success.

His last hope was the adventurers guild, and that someone hopefully has seen you there.

And luck was on his side this time, as some other members told him about how you have constantly been taking commission after commission for the past few days.

Feeling his worries for you rise again, he went to the locations given to him, hoping to find you there.

About an hour or so later, he spotted you at the location of the third commission you took, standing next to a defeated ruin drake while facing another one head on.

He had half a mind to rush over and take care of it for you, but something in him told him to let you handle it yourself. So he watched with bated breath as you easily took care of the machine, letting it fall to the ground while you remained completely unharmed.

That's when he really realized what his words might have caused for you. You are by no means a sheltered human, you're capable of defending yourself, and very well so.

As you were checking the defeated drakes for useful stuff, he came out of his 'hiding spot', walking directly to you. You noticed him approaching but chose to ignore him still. In fact, you've noticed his presence in the middle of the fight, but decided not to call him out and see what he would do.

When he arrived, he just stood next to you in silence for a while, watching you. But when you still wouldn't acknowledge him, he decided to speak up.

"(Name)... I... I'm sorry..", he mumbled quietly. He felt embarrassed, not used to acting like the bigger person, but he was in the wrong here, so he had to do this, no matter what.

The words out of Kuni's mouth caught you by surprise, your head swirling around to look at him, finally.

Kunikuzushi didn't know what else to say right now, so he stayed silent, hoping you would understand how difficult this was for him right now.

"..I'm not weak.", you answered him quietly as well, fully facing him now, but your posture and tone seemed a bit more open and calmer now.

"..I know."

He may not be the best with words, but somehow, you always understood what he wanted to say, anyways. It has always been this way between you. It was one of the many things he loved so much about you.

And that's how it was this time, too. He quietly thanked the Gods when he pulled you into his arms again, holding you for the first time in what had felt like an eternity.

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rboooks · 11 months

Text

DP x DC: Child Support

John Constantine has done a lot in his life. Some good, some bad but most have been dangerous.

He sold his soul to as many powerful beings as he could so that they could fight each other over it and keep him in a safe-ish stalemate. It was a risk, one where he had to sweet talk, maneuver, and sometimes seduce his way through, but he's always come on top.

Waking to his wards broken as easily as someone walking through a still river meant he had finally met his match. John woke to the Time looming over him in its adult form.

Clockwork, the physical concept of Time, smashed into a body and consciousness. It's so rare to see the god outside his tower; to even be in his presence was such a high honor that families would keep proof of the encounter for generations to brag about.

"Hello, Johnny," Clockwork said in his specialized adult form. The nickname curved with fondness. This form is an even rarer sight to behold. Clockwork looked about to be in his late twenties, dressed in a Victorian-era suit with dark black hair, he would look human were it not for his pure red eyes and time staff.

He looks gorgeous.

John smiled nervously. "Clockwork. What do I owe the pleasure?"

The ghost hums. "I have come to make a deal with you."

See, that's not something John would like to hear from the second-strongest being in the multiverse. He was second to the Ghost King. Some would even argue that Clockwork was stronger were it not for his desire to remain neutral in conflicts for the sake of different timelines.

"What kind of deal?" John asks with a lustful grin, running his eyes up and down Clockworks form. It looks like he may have to seduce his way out of this again and hopefully could convince the god of Time that he was a great time in bed instead of dead once more

The Master of Time appears amused but unwilling to climb under the sheets with him. Bollocks, if he wasn't back for another month of pleasure then the deal would likely be unpleasant.

Even if Clockwork could be considered a past fling, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't ask for something harmful. John had less powerful exes who would gladly have him killed just as likely as they would key his car.

To make thinga worst, Clockwork reached into his gentleman jacket to pull out a small jar. John's heart leaped in horror at what was inside.

"I have collected every piece of your soul through challenges, purchases, or even offerings. I own you entirely, John Constantine," Clockwork said, his warm tan skin rippling into blue as the Ghost turned the jar this way and that. "I wish to return it to you, with my added protection, should the old contracts which you swindled will not seek out revenge in exchange, you must take responsibility."

John can barely breath "Responsibility of what?"

Clockwork gestures behind him, and out of the shadows step a human boy. A human boy that looks precisely like human-Clockwork as a teenager but with John's eyes and the shape of John's nose.

No.

He knows that despite how similar they look, Humans and the citizens of the Infinite Realms aren't biologically the same. He just didn't think that meant this.

That he could be so careless it resulted in this.

Clockwork waves a hand between them. "Jonny meet your son, Danny."

John choked as Danny awkwardly waved at him. He even stuffs his hands into his pockets the same way John would stuff his hands into his trench coat.

This can't be happening.

"Our son is half human, and it's unhealthy for humans to remain in the Infinite Releams for long periods. I now require you to raise him on Earth until his core is ready. The day our son is of age, you will have your soul back with my Infinite protection. Danny will take the throne of the Infinite Realms upon his marriage so do help him find a good suitor."

Clockwork considers the rapidly paling human with large amounts of glee. "I trust this would be acceptable? I must warn you, I have raised him outside of time, so he is a bit behind with modern technologies and references. He also has a ghost form he must use for his health. Oh, and, Danny has a peanut allergy, so keep that in mind for his meals. If anything were to happen to Danny while he lives with you, I would erase this entire place and not through time manipulation. I will simply kill everything. Keep you alive so I can kill every version of those you love across the multiverse in front of you. Try not to slip away from your child support to prevent that, yes?"

John faints.

Danny Fenton had to be removed from his dimension to erase Dan from existence. His future self had nearly escaped the Clock tower they couldn't risk a second time. Clockwork had told him removing him from his dimension, his timeline, would never allow Dan to exist. It broke his heart but to save the many lives that Dan took Danny had agree.

His friends and family were devastated even if Clockwork told them Danny would be allowed visits. Just nothing longer than a week and six months between visits. He had moved into Clockwork's haunt, becoming an assistant to the master of time. He helped weave timeliness, and suggested possible choices for various creatures of various situations across the multiverse.

Danny helped Clockwork control fate, if that wasn't ridiculous. He even tried his ghost powers, to the point he felt he could truelt match his mentor in a fight.

He spent two years like this- or two years in his home dimension. Time didn't move in Clockwork's tower so despite the amount of time he lived there Danny didn't look a day over fourteen still. It irked him like nothing else to see Tucker and Sam as sixteen year Olds while he still looked like he was a freshman.

(It also hurt to see them move on without him.)

However, due to his halfa status, his human side was starting to fall apart. He needed sun, food, sleep, and other humans. He would go mad otherwise, and none of this would matter if it resulted in Dan.

Clockwork couldn't put him back home. He couldn't even put Danny in an alternate timeline, for he could not be close to people he knew.

He had to go to one that had no various of anyone Danny knew. Thankfully the Infinite Releams is connected to plenty of places that fit the bill. All Clockwork had to do was twist a few small events, and boom, Danny Fenton would have a perfectly legal background with everything he need for survive.

If only his mentor wasn't such a michivious prankster.

" You want me to pretend to be your love child with some random magic guy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Trust me Danny, it's going to be hilarious."

(Part 2)

#dc x dp crossover #John Constantine takes on Danny #Clockwork ans John were a fling #John is losing his mind.#Danny went along with it cause his bored #Child Support

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shorthaltsjester · 7 months

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trying to be so, so normal about thinking about a half-orc with whittled down tusks and another man’s voice without a home running into a blue tiefling seeking out adventure and a place in the world who asked him if they could “walk together a bit”. and now a half-orc who is an admiral with a home port and a family who loves a blue tiefling who helps her friends fight undead and trauma (and on occasion both) who has a godfriend she can drag through a gate spell and ask to do her a favour once a week. trying to not lose my mind about jester growing up reading about whirlwind romances and teasing fjord about them but confiding in yasha that one of the things she values most in her relationship to fjord isn’t all the things that come from her understanding though her mother and romance novels, it’s that she feels comfortable with him. and like, even decked out like the most romance novel cover versions of themselves, they are still both kinda goofy and awkward and charming about their relationship in a way that fulfils jester’s big silly romanticizing heart but also is very, very genuine to who both the characters are and how they go about the world.

like i know a lot of people talk about the laura and travis of it all a lot and it is a very sweet aspect of fjord and jester but i cannot emphasize how much jester and fjord as characters who meet and then grow around and because of each other, who see beneath one another’s masks and support each other is something that is so compelling and well done and built towards regardless of the ever present claims that it only happened because laura decided to romance travis in their dnd game.

#cr spoilers #jester lavorre #fjord #fjord stone #fjorester #critical role #cr2 #laura bailey #travis willingham #fjord + jester #mighty nein #the mighty nein #my posts

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spacebarbarianweird · 6 months

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The Scorching Sun

My desperate attempt to redeem the ending scene

Astarion is running away from the sunlight once the tadpole is gone, and Tav is nowhere to be seen.

Tags: hurt/comfort

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

The excruciating pain pierces Astarion as his skin starts burning.

The sun's searing rays cause agony from which there is no respite. The tadpole's grip finally releases him. Still, as it does, it leaves behind a gaping void, one filled with a mind that races with panic and anxiety, amplifying the horrors that lie ahead.

Astarion is scared. He has never felt so frightened in his life. Not when he awoke in his coffin two centuries ago, dying of hunger and pain. Not when Cazador put him through horrors and torments. Not when he was sealed in the tomb for an entire year. Not when he thought Tav was dying.

Because now he is burning alive.

Astarion desperately looks at his companions seeking support, but instead, he sees disgust on their faces as if without tadpoles they suddenly realize Astarion is a vampire.

He hears a chuckle, probably from Gale, that "Now our friend has to return to shadows" and another voice, "Seems like we won't see him again soon."

Once trusted friends now cruelly mock him, their laughter an eerie cacophony that reverberates in the depths of Astarion's consciousness. Each word stabs his undead heart.

You are nowhere to be seen. You are absent when he needs you the most.

Astarion runs toward the huge crates at the pier, which cast a comforting shadow. Astarion stumbles – he can't see anything; the sun has burnt his eyes. By touch, he finally gets to the shadows, curls up in the corner, and presses his legs to the chest.

Eyesight finally recovers. Astarion hears distant voices – someone laughs, someone cheers. He is jealous. Why can't he be there, with them, in the sunlight? Didn't he suffer too much? Didn't he fight the Brain with the rest? Why, why?

Tears stream down his cheeks. Tears of pain, tears of desperation, resentment, injustice.

Betrayal.

As the sun slowly rises, a merciful shadow retreats, and a harsh ray of light burns Astarion's right leg. The once-safe haven has become dangerous, and despair compels Astarion to seek refuge in the nearest house. The sun continues to scorch him, subjecting him to wave after wave of searing pain.

However, an invisible barrier obstructs his path, granting entry only upon invitation, offering no respite for the vampire. Astarion is left to writhe in the agony of the daylight.

He must go to the Inn. The vampire's invitation is forever, but the city lies in ruins, with only fleeting shadows left. Baldurians cheer, praising the gods for saving them from unimaginable horrors. Amidst the joy and light, Astarion feels like crying, for he knows he doesn't belong here. Life, light, and happiness are not for him; he remains a creature of the night, a monster. His foolish hope for anything else has faded away.

At last, he reaches the Inn. Astarion pushes the door open and collapses on his knees, palms pressed into the wooden floor. The pain clings to his body like acid sweat. The tavern is empty, and Astarion manages to stumble upstairs, each step feeling like an eternity. Even the cruelest tortures in Cazador's mansion did not leave him feeling so helpless and weak.

Finally, he crawls into the room he once shared with you and collapses onto the bed. The dark room envelops Astarion like a lover, providing a shred of safety. The echoes of his former companions' laughter still torment the vampire like cruel ghosts from the past.

In desperation, Astarion questions if he heard your voice. Were your promises of love empty words? Could you no longer want him, and the tadpole was the sole reason for your affection? These tormenting thoughts whirl in his mind, threatening to drown him as hunger and pain draw him closer to the abyss.

The hunger is insatiable, gut-wrenching. The tadpole had once dulled it like a medicine. Now, it is back, threatening to turn Astarion into a feral, mindless monster.

Astarion clenches his fingers, trying to grasp the reality: he is alive, his master is dead, and he is free. But it all means nothing.

Hours pass, and Astarion attempts to enter a trance to escape the agony, but his sunburnt body refuses to cooperate. He longs for respite, for a brief escape from reality, but the pain and dark thoughts overwhelm him.

Yes, he did hear your voice in that laughter, and he envisions an evil grin on your face. Perhaps you despise him and have moved on to someone else. Silent tears stream down his face, bearing witness to the profound betrayal he feels from those he once trusted and loved and to the unending nightmare of his existence.

Then, he hears footsteps. The door swings open.

"Astarion! I should have known you were heading here," you exclaim as you sit on the bed and take his hand.

Astarion looks at you in disbelief. Your face, your voice, your scent. You are back. He wants to grab you, to press his face against your collarbone. But he is so weak he can't move.

"Does it hurt?" you ask. Astarion nods, and you press your lips to his knuckles.

"I'm so sorry. I fainted when the tadpole was removed. When I woke up, they told me you had run away, and I've been trying to find you ever since. Hey, look at me," you gently caress his cheek. "I am here. I'm not going anywhere."

Astarion finally manages to look into your eyes. He sees the same love, care, kind smile, hope, and support he thought he had lost.

"I thought… I thought you were never coming back," he whispers.

"Well, if you had run even further, I would have lost you forever," you say.

The tears prickle his eyes once again. How could he have ever doubted you? What kind of person was he to assume that his lover would betray him?

"You didn't answer if it hurts."

"Like a hellplane," he replies.

"I am so sorry. I truly am."

Astarion finally manages to lift his hands and he presses you against his chest. You roll over and lie beside him, putting your head on his shoulder, and he wraps his right hand around you as you place your hand on his stomach.

There are so many things he wants to say to you but simply can't.

"What are we going to do next?" you ask.

He shrugs. "I don't know. What do you want?"

"Anything that doesn't involve staying in this city. We could settle somewhere…"

"It would be tediously boring," Astarion interjects.

"Agreed. We'll always have time for that. Maybe we should go to the Underdark to help other spawns."

He strokes your hair. "I'm not taking a living person to a den of seven thousand vampires, that's for sure."

Astarion presses you tighter, wanting to feel your heartbeat. Then, a realization washes over him: he is no longer in pain. His skin doesn't burn, and his muscles aren't being torn apart. Your presence alone alleviates his suffering. He kisses your forehead and responds with a smile.

"What do you think about getting away? Traveling with me and seeing the world?" you finally propose.

"Darling, I thought you'd never suggest it. I'm sick of this place."

"And we can find a cure for you. There are probably ways to allow you to walk in the sun or even reverse your vampirism. This world is full of cruel wonders, so why not give it a try?"

He nods and gazes at your face as if trying to memorize every little detail.

"I'm not going anywhere, Astarion," you smile. "Stop looking at me as if I'm going to disappear." You sit up and ask, "Can I kiss you?"

"Only if you promise me something," Astarion counters.

"What is it?"

"Stop asking for permission to touch or kiss me."

"You sure?" you hesitate.

"Yes. Stop treating me as if I'm made of glass. It's you. Your touches can never be unwelcome."

You giggle and kiss him. At that moment, you are the two happiest people in the world.

You both lay in each other's arms until sunset. When night falls, you leave the city walls and enter the wilderness. You continue forward, holding hands as if afraid to lose each other. Astarion's undead heart rejoices. He has everything a man needs.

Freedom.

A woman he loves, who loves him in return.

A future.

He would be a fool to exchange all this for false promises of power.

Suddenly, you stop, wrap your hands around his neck, and press your lips against his. Then, you proceed to kiss his cheeks, his forehead, and everything you can reach while standing on the ground.

He flinches for a second but then hugs you back and tightens his grip.

"Never ask for permission," he whispers into your ear. "You are always invited."

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x female reader #astarion fics #astarion ending #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #astarion fanfiction #spacebarbarian fics

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communistchilchuck · 1 month

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Sujood has reached out to me to boost she and Sanaa’s fundraiser. They’re urgently trying to evacuate their family from Gaza and seek asylum in Belgium. Their previous campaign was suspended, so they have started a new GFM and currently have £1,642 out of their £50,000 goal! Please share if you can’t donate!

From their GFM page:

Dear friends,

We are reaching out to you with a heartfelt plea for help. Our names are Sanaa and Sujood, and we find ourselves in an incredibly challenging and dangerous situation.

Unfortunately, our previous attempt to receive donations was unsuccessful due to restrictions on transactions to Gaza. However, the urgency of our circumstances compels us to reach out again, this time with new procedures in place to ensure the secure delivery of your generous contributions. We are launching a new campaign because we cannot afford to wait for a long time for the restrictions on the bank account to be lifted it’s already being two months now. We are unsure if we will be able to access the funds or if they will be returned to the donors. In any case, here in Gaza, we are fighting against time. Every day poses a threat to our safety, and we cannot afford to wait. If, after some time, we are able to retrieve the previous amount, we will use it to rebuild our lives and continue the education of my siblings.

The situation in Gaza has become increasingly unbearable, and we have been left with no choice but to seek assistance from compassionate individuals like you. Your donations can make a significant difference in our lives and help us escape the dire circumstances we currently face.

This is ours story:

I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits.

My name is Sanaa Odeh, currently in Gaza, occupied Palestine. I am writing this as a plea for survival, for a future for my family and myself.

Our lives are in immediate danger, with non stop explosions everyday and every night, tanks and guns all around us, and fear as a constant companion. It is a non-stop nightmare, every minute of every day, for 6 months. Everyday is a struggle for survival. Lack of food and clean water creating a crisis of death by starvation and dehydration.

Despite the endless nightmare, we are a resilient and strong family. My beautiful parents gave everything to raise us as successful daughters and we are so proud of what we have achieved.

I work as a graphic designer and my sisters: a nurse/educator, small business owner, a medical student, and a field coordinator. Despite being on the path to rich and promising futures, it can all be taken away in any moment. We have already lost several family members, including my uncles and their entire family. There is little hope that the situation will end soon, all of us waiting for our turn next.

We are looking to seek asylum in Belgium. This campaign will help support us in covering the costs to do so, specifically in covering the evacuation costs per person. Your donation will provide us with the chance to escape the endless horror we’ve been facing for the last 6 months and give us a chance to return to a safe, normal life again, where we can once again contribute positively to society.

I understand that this is a challenging time for everyone right now, but please do not underestimate what even £5 can contribute to especially when it all adds up. It really does make a huge difference. No matter how small the contribution it can still change our entire lives.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story, your support means the world to us. Whether it is simply sharing our campaign or donating, it makes all the difference in the world to us. Your act of kindness can bring light to our darkest days and help us build a better future.

Thank you once again for all your support and kindness

With heartfelt gratitude,

Sanaa and Sujood

#palestine #free palestine #gaza

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dcxdpdabbles · 8 months

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Cave boy Danny has way to much fun fucking with the bats after a while. Jason is too until Danny bites him after some unwanted human contact. Alfred gets a big wave of nostalgia when Danny does it too.

Danny can say that the Waynes have been ridiculously welcoming, all things considered. He still hasn't come clean about not being Bruce Wayne's alternative double, so to throw them off from finding out the truth and have a safe place to crash- he's missed plumbing- he has been invited to the Wayne Manor and has been lazing about when under their watch.

If there was one thing apparent, it was that Bruce Wayne did not laze about. It was mind-blowing to those who knew him to see Danny- a version of Bruce- act like walking across the room for a remote was too much work.

It drove them mad to see such a difference between them, and thus, none of the Waynes noticed Danny's side project to get home.

The Waynes gave him a giant room and helped set up a fake Identity for him while they worked on getting him home. To the public, he was Danny Kane, a long-lost relative recently coming to Bruce for help.

Thanks to the support of Jacob and Kate, they agree to make it seem that Jack Kane- Danny's made-up father- was the result of Bruce's material grandfather having a fling after his wife's death. Jake was hidden from the public eye but had his father's financial support until he was an adult.

Jack was never bitter and told Danny stories of his wayward father, filled with love to prove it. These stories inspired Danny to seek out the remaining Kanes after Jack's untimely death, which led him to Bruce as Martha Wayne nee Kane's son.

The day Danny would be sent home, the Waynes would fake his death, and no one would be the wiser that Danny Kane never existed.

Fine by Danny

. He only planned to stick around long enough to get his ship ready and pinpoint a location that had the vile between the living and dead thin enough to slice his way back to the Ghost Zone.

Unlike Wulf, who could open portals wherever he wanted, Danny had to find points weak enough to punch a hole through. He knows his parent's portal was way out of his set of skills, and he sure as hell wasn't going to give anyone the idea to build their own here. Two percent of portals were already two too many.

He mostly hung around the house- with someone always close by in a poor attempt to hide the fact they were watching him. Most of the time, Danny was either lazing around the house, eating and sleeping, and it felt like a costly vacation.

He refused to help on the coms when the Bats went out to kick ass, even after Dick offered to sit in front of monitors and relay information to the heroes like he was offering the chance of a lifetime.

This seems to disturb everyone else in the house except for Alfred.

If anything, the fact Danny straight-up refused to put on tights and rush into night to fight crime made Alfred adore him. The butler claimed he was worried everyone in the family would forget what everyday life was supposed to feel like.

A few Waynes couldn't seem to wrap their heads around the concept.

"You're not interested at all?" Tim asks, eyes narrowed. He was among the few who thought Danny was suspicious for not wanting to risk his life to fight the corrupted system.

"Nah, man, I'm good here. I got my nachos, I got a movie room and I got the softest bathrobe ever bathrobe." Danny snuggles more profoundly into the pink plush robe that Steph had lent him. "Why would I want to ruin any of these? Sides, I can't even throw a punch."

".....There has never been a single alternative Bruce Wayne that wasn't involved in this life in some way. If not as a hero then he was a villain. Bruce as a villain is one of the most dangerous things that can ever happen across the multiverse" Tim reveals grimly. "We've won every single encounter but only by the skin of our teeth."

"Damn. Let me guess. You guys beat the evil Bruces by sending his kids after him."

"Yes."

"Problem solve. You already know you can kick my ass, so if I try anything, you can take me out, right?" Danny doesn't wait for a answer. He turns away from the teenager to stare at the movie screen showing his picked movie. "I can do nothing but tremble before your bat might."

Tim steps into his line of sight. "I mean it. You do anything to harm this family and will regret it."

"Does that mean I can't bite Jason again? That sucks. It's the only way I can get him to stop trying to drag me to galas. He wants to scare the other rich people with my poor people's manners."

Tim's lip twitches and Danny knows he's fighting to keep his face under control. "You didn't have to lock your jaw in like that."

"I really did. Jason tested me."

Tim tilts his head. "You don't really feel like Bruce. You look just like him at fifteen. Alfred says you act just like him. But for the last three weeks, you've been trying really hard to make it seem like you're okay with doing nothing."

"I am comfortable doing nothing."

"I think you're lying," Tim says, moving closer to stare down into Danny's eyes with frankly a manic glare. Danny's core flares up with the sense of challenge he finds in that dark blue gaze.

Which is a first for a human, and frankly is terrifying. If Tim had been a ghost he would have easily been an Ancient assistant or a baby Ancient. He has to be able to match Danny's power like this. Holy shit.

"I think your parents didn't give you enough love as a child, and now you seek approval from everyone around you while trying to push everyone away because you are too scared to make yourself valuable. You find yourself in an endless loop of self-doubt and self-hate by doing both simultaneously." Danny blurts. He watches Tim freeze, then winces. "Shit, sorry, the psychoanalyze came out as a reflection. Forget that."

Tim is still frozen in a way Danny recognizes as someone hearing something challenging to come to terms with. This is why he needs to break the habit of using Jazz's psyche training as a weapon.

He forgets not everyone insults each other with their deepest insecurities. That's just how he and Jazz love.

"...Do you want to watch the Grey Ghost Marathon with me?" He asks after a long pause. Tim closes his eyes before plumping down next to him.

"I like that."

Neither mention Jason, who is gasping in the last row of seats and attempting to suppress muffled laughter behind the wrist cast that Danny lovingly gave him at the last gala.

On a side note, Danny Kane is called "Rabid Dog." by the elites of Gotham, who watched the boy make three grown men cry after two minutes of talking to him and also witness four Waynes attempt to pry his mouth open screaming, "No Danny drop it. drop it!" while the boy munched on Jason's wrist.

No one has noticed that half of the tech has disappeared.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #cave boy #Part 3 #Danny is attempting to be as different of Bruce as he can be #Tim thinks he's a evil Bruce pretending to be good #Jason taungted the dog and got bite #Everyone else just thinks Danny is the normal amount of weird for being a bruce

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