#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dracowars · 3 years

Note

I was wondering if you can write one with harry for me? Where harry and reader are dating around when sirius died in order of the phoenix and harry is very depressed about the stiuation and slowly disassociates from the reader and when he/she wanted to talk about it and lighten the weight on his shoulders harry says sth to reader along the lines "you are not my family and you are not my home" and a big fight eventually harry realises what he has done and gets very upset bc he loves her/him so much. They eventually make up but i want drama and tears you know lol i will be very happy if you can write this!!

don't shut me out | harry potter

pairing: harry x gryffindor!reader

word count: 2,5k

summary: where harry shuts y/n out after sirius' death

a/n: my first harry one shot, yayy! thank you for sending in this request <3

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of death

universe: harry potter

"Please write an essay about the effects of the Anti-Paralysis Potion until next week", Professor Snape grimly finishes his lesson and immediately chaotic murmur breaks out in the classroom when all the other students pack up their things and leave for their well deserved break.

You on the other hand calmly close your book and slowly slide it into your bag before getting up from your seat with a sigh, but not without taking another look at the empty seat in front of you first.

Harry did not show up for class again today. This is the third time this week and even when he is in one of his courses, his mind is not there with him.

A week ago he returned to the common room, devastated, and Ron and Hermione even had to support him so he would not fall over. The only thing you knew at that time was that they were on a secret mission at the Ministry of Magic, but you did not know what a terrible disaster happened.

Harry did not exchange a word with you and went straight to bed that evening, leaving you behind confused and ignorantly until Hermione told you about the recent events. Sirius Black, Harry's godfather and last living relative, was killed right in front of his eyes through his own cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. While Hermione told you what happened, tears were already uncontrollaby streaming down your face.

You knew exactly how much he meant to Harry.

Now that Harry has also lost the last remaining member of his family, he has shut himself off completely, hiding from the world, from his friend and also from you. Any attempts to talk to him have failed, but you keep a close eye on him everyday.

If he does not shown up at dinner again, you bring him a plate full of his favorite food to his room, even if it is without his consent, just to find it barely touched in the morning. If he misses another of his lessons again, you always take even more detailed notes than usual that you later give him so he is able to catch up on what he has missed so far, just to watch the pile grow bigger and bigger.

Every time you enter his room, it breaks your heart when you have to see how your boyfriend, whose face has lost all color by now, looks at you with such sad eyes and cannot even utter a different word at you than a simple 'thank you'. It pains you to see him like this, but he won't let you get to him anymore, he won't let you or his best friends help him.

He shuts himself off the world completely.

"Ms. Y/L/N", Snape suddenly approaches you as you are about to make your way out of the classroom. You look up at your grouchy professor, full of expectation and also a little scared.

"Tell Potter if he does not show up for my class one more time, he will fail", he explains seriously and you can only nod while his cold stare is fixed on you. "Very good."

Turning around, you quickly run out of the door and meet Ron and Hermione in the hallway in front of it, waiting for you.

"What took you so long? I am starving", Ron asks you oblivious as you make your way through the crowd of students in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Snape held me from going. If Harry does not show up for class soon, he will fail in all of his courses", you mutter and your thoughts immediately wander back to him and how he is doing right now.

"Snape can't do that! Dumbledore will not allow it anyway. Everyone knows what happened and no one is this cruel", Hermione breathes out in shock.

"We are still talking about Snape, you know that, right?", Ron replies, only catching an annoyed look from her at his words.

"I will talk to Harry again. Well, at least I will try", you sigh exhaustedly and just before reaching the Great Hall, you leave your friends alone and run up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room, entering it after saying the correct password.

Waisting no time, you walk up the stairs to the boys' dormitories and timidly knock on the door. Nothing, not a single sound comes from the inside when you knock a second time.

"Harry? It's me, Y/N. May I come in-"

"Get out!", his voice angrily shouts at you through the door and you back away in shock. There is so much sorrow in his voice, so much pain, so much fear.

So much hate.

"I am not going anywhere", you answer firmly and stand your ground before carelessly opening the door.

The sight that greets you when you enter lets your eyes widen to the maximum. The entire room has been demolished, your carefully written notes scattered in snippets on the floor, his books torn apart next to it and the whole furniture turned over.

And in the middle of it all there is Harry, breathing heavily, as emaciated as you have never seen him before, his hands clenched into fists, his fingernails already painfully digging into his palms. The expression on his face blank when his gaze meets yours.

Without saying a word, you slowly and carefully walk towards him, trying not to stumble over anything on the floor until you stand in front of him. And then you wait.

Wait for him to finally open up to you, wait for him to finally let everything out.

But he turns away.

"Harry", you breathe out barely audible and reach for his hand, which he pulls away in the last second, his eyes on the ground and his back to you.

"Go", he orders, now without any emotion in his voice.

Refusing to listen to his words and let him push you away another time, you circle him to stand right in front of him again.

"I said go!", he aggressively yells at you, but you are quick to catch his face between your hands and lift it up so he has to look at you, taking a good look at him while softly pressing your palms to his cheeks.

His cheeks are still damped from the numerous tears that have flowed over them, and his eyes are glassy, almost fragile.

"I am here for you", you claim in a low voice to not scare him away while you look deep into his eyes, in which you discover nothing but emptiness. "I can help you if you would just let me, Harry. Please don't shut me out."

For a brief moment there is silence, somehow pleasant and safe as it has always been between the two of you. In the next moment, however, your hopes are destroyed.

"I don't need your damn help!", he yells at you again and pulls away from you, running his hands through his hair desperately while you stay frozen in place.

You almost had him.

"You do need me! You can't just lock yourself up here for weeks, Harry!", you raise your voice as well, desperation evident in it.

"You can't tell me what to do!", he loudly shouts and the look he throws at you is again full of nothing but hatred.

"What happened to Sirius is horrible, but you have to move on some day and you can't do that if you do not talk to someone about it. I am your girlfriend and-"

"Exactly. You are just my girlfriend and not my family!", Harry angrily spits out all of a sudden, his words catching you off guard and you could swear how your heart has split into half right at this second. "You are not and never will be my home, get that into your head! I am sick of you, Y/N! How you pamper me like I am a fucking child and never know when to stop!"

"A-Are you serious r-right now?", you let out a trembling sob, the strength to scream at him gone when a tear rolls down your cheek. You look at him with complete disappointment, at the boy whom you love so much, who just hurt you so deep as you would have never imagined him to.

"Get the hell out of here!"

"Do you even hear what you are saying? You do not really mean that. Tell me that you do not mean that, Harry!"

"It is the only thing that I want", he grinds his teeth and you nod understandingly while wiping away your tears.

"Fine. If I can never be your home anyway, then I guess this is where it ends", you sniff and walk past him, your gaze lowered as you go out of the room and let the door slam shut behind you.

And he does not even follow you.

Deeply hurt and with a broke heart, you barely make it to your dorm room, where you slide down the closed door with your back and pull your knees close to your shaking body, weeping bitterly.

You do not know how long you sat there and just cried your eyes out, but when you hear Hermione's worried voice behind you, it is already dark outside and you missed all of your classes.

Exhausted, you let yourself fall into your soft mattress, hiding your tear stained face from your roommates, but of course Hermione immediately senses that something is wrong.

She approaches you carefully as to not frighten you and sits down next to you on your bed, stroking your back up and down soothingly, which in return only makes you cry harder into your pillow. After several minutes you finally manage to calm down and sit up.

Hermione looks at you speechless, does not urge you to tell her about what happened at all, but you do it anyway as it almost gushes out of you. And so you spend the whole night in your bed talking.

The next morning you are sitting in the Great Hall at breakfast, completely exhausted. While Ron allows himself another joke with Hermione, you stare down at your empty plate, your stomach not wanting to be filled.

"Did you finally got Harry back to his senses, Y/N?", Ron asks you out of nowhere, pulling you out of your deep thoughts, and you interpret a teasing tone in his voice.

Your eyes filling with tears in a matter of seconds, you abruptly get up and leave the hall, leaving a confused Ron and an angry Hermione behind as you run back into the common room and into your own room.

Again you let yourself fall to the floor behind the closed door, your arms crossed over your drawn up knees, your forehead resting on top. Without meaning to, your sobs get stronger by every second, shaking through your body while your breath speeds up to an unhealthy pace.

Your head and your heart just do not want to understand that what you and Harry once had is over, once and for all. That you will never wake up in his cozy, warm arms again. That you will never feel his tender touch again. And above all, that you can never look at him the same way you did before.

You lost him for good this time.

The sudden knock on the wooden door behind you causes your head to jerk up in surprise. Not sure if you just imagined it, you stay silent for a moment and hold back your crying.

Another gentle knock.

"Please leave me alone, Hermione", you sniff and lower your head again.

"Y/N", his voice sounds muffled from the other side unexpectedly and your heart leaps painfully.

You always loved the way he pronounced your name, how easily it slides off his tongue. Since your first meeting, back then on platform 9¾ where you immediately fell in love with him head over heels.

Speechless, you are unable to move or say anything, just blinking away your tears.

"I know that you are in there. I can hear you crying", he softly speaks to you through the door and finally causes you to get up from the ground and open the door with a swing.

"What do you want?", you calmly ask him, trying not to show the emotions going through your head right now, and avoid eye contact while playing with the hem of your sweater. It takes a moment for Harry to contain himself, the sight of your fragile figure like pure horror in his eyes.

A sight for which he is guilty. He alone did this to you.

After clearing his throat, he searchs for the right words to make everything alright again, to fix everything he said, anything just so he does not have to see you this devastated. However, there is not a single sound coming out of his mouth.

"If you have nothing to say, get out", you order with all your might and try to sound as serious and emotionless as possible, trying to hold back your rising tears.

At least until you suddenly end up in his warm, safe arms after he pulls you into a bone crushing hug before you could close the door on him. A hug you both needed more than necessary.

"I am such a stupid idiot", Harry whispers in your ear, also having trouble to hide his sadness. "You just wanted to be there for me and I pushed you away even though you could have given me exactly what I needed."

His words only make you more emotional and turn you into a crying mess, your face hiding in his chest. His hand slowly rubs over your back to calm you down. Your legs begin to tremble harder and Harry has to hold you upright with all his strength to not let you fall.

"I-I just could not accept that I was alone", Harry sighs as he listens to your sobs until you finally push yourself weakly away and stand in front of him, an arm's length apart.

"You are not alone", you choke out and Harry gives you a small, tender smile before closing the gap between you and gently placing his hand on your cheek. With his fingers he strokes the strands of hair out of your face that are already stuck to your skin due to the tears.

"I realized that too, sweetheart", he confirms and tilts your head towards him to leave a soft kiss on your forehead. "I can't erase what terrible things I said to and threw at you, but please believe me when I tell you that that I did not mean a single word. I just did not know how to move on and you were there to receive all of my anger.. Do you forgive me?"

"Only if you never shut me out like that again. I will always be here for you and take care of you, Harry. No matter what, I will stay", you answer, also with a tiny smile on your lips and when he returns it before connecting your lips you, the world around you suddenly becomes more colorful and bright again.

"I promise."

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darkdevasofdestruction · 3 years

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Primum Non Nocere ~ Gregory House x Katrina Black

This may or may not be a personal fic I make for myself, that everyone is welcome to read in case they miss House or sth, so yeah, enjoy the clown fiesta.

There are many words that can describe Doctor Gregory House, all of them ranging from “Brilliant Doctor” to “The Biggest Asshole”...However, there is one person who ever called him “Sweet”, and each time, she got called insane.

Even Stacy, who dated him for so long, looked at her as if she suddenly became a chimera or something, which speaks volumes for his character as a whole.

It’s been 15 years since Katrina moved to America, and 15 years since she begged Lisa Cuddy to allow her to practice Medicine and learn directly from the hospital itself, even though she barely finished highschool and was beginning Medicine University.

Lisa had no reason to accept her, but she was much too sweet and convincing, doing everything asked, from cleaning, to nursing, helping her with management stuff, and then, as years passed, she started clinic duty and steadily, but fast-paced, she achieved her dream of becoming a successful cardiologist, going as far as becoming the new head of the department, since the old one retired.

Just as expected, she became friends with Lisa, James and Greg very easily, and each of them treated her in their own way - As her mother, as her confidant...And as her Mentor, of sorts - As Gregory House was the harshest and biggest jerk in the world, but not even the coldest man alive could resist her weirdly innocent charm.

She was the one to remember the gruff man’s every birthday and give him gifts she made herself - Nothing big, but always meaningful, like a winter scarf, or cute little decorations, engraved medical things and so one - And of course, on every Christmas, apart from gifts, she would bring him marshmallow hot chocolate and other festive decorations for his office, so he won’t feel lonely or bad.

Sometimes he didn’t even realise it, but every time he needed a proper diagnostic opinion, or his interns screwed up, he’d page her, not exactly caring if she was busy with clinic work or with an important surgery, and he’d make fun of her for rushing for “No reason”.

Life is definitely difficult for a shy, young foreigner, all alone in the world, but somehow, with the help of this few people, she managed to find something that she lacked her whole childhood - A true “Family” and a place to call “Home”.

But for Gregory House, this woman, Katrina Black, has always been an enigma he couldn’t deduct - The greatest mystery that crossed his path - He wanted to know her, to understand her, to learn about her and her pain and maybe, for once, he won’t feel as miserable.

The past 5 years especially, after Stacy left him and he ultimately had to live in pain, addicted to pain killers, and while he got more and more bitter, he also began to appreciate, at least in his heart, the unconditional kindness and attention he receives from her

And so, here we are, 15 years after the moment that changed everything in their lives...

“It’s not inflammatory process. It’s not a clot, because Chase’s angio says so. And it’s not cancer, because her tush is perfect. Anybody else got an Aunt Elyssa with weird stuff?” House limped into his office, looking at the three subordinates that were sitting around aimlessly. “...Maybe it’s worth looking into-” Cameron began, but was quickly cut off by the elder one, who looked at the angio once again. “I though you said Carly’s angio was clean.” Gregory blinked, putting both angiograms on the board for a better peripheral view. “It WAS clean.” the Aussie insisted again. “You guys see the problem here?” House asked in his usual over the top way. “There’s no indication of any abnormalities, no lesions, no spurs, no mastis-” Foreman got up to get a better look at the pictures better. “Well, if you guys don’t know, how about I call for the help of our lovely foreigner? I bet she’s gonna be angry for getting her out of whatever surgery she has, but...It’s in the name of science, after all!” he gave a mocking smirk at the trio as he hit CodeRed on the pager.

As expected, it didn’t take long for the girl to arrive, despite being in full surgical outfit, blood still on her gloves and her scrub cover, panting from having to run all the way there.

“What happened?! Are you okay?!” she tried to speak, despite barely being able to catch her breath. “Nothing really. Nothing that would result in the immediate death of a patient, clearly, and as you can see, I’m perfectly fine as well. Why ever would you hurry up like that out of a surgery?” Gregory fooled around, watching the crestfallen expression on her face, as she took off her gloves and scrub covers, revealing the cute and childish green scrub that had foxes on the top. It was her signature style, really - Always wearing the cutest, most childish scrubs, with various animals or flowers, and she was the only one who did that, despite her age, and didn’t care about anyone’s opinions. In fact, others kinda found it pretty nice too, almost giving off a more light and hopeful approach to a hospital. “So...Let me get this straight...I was in the middle of an open heart surgery...And you paged me while I was stitching it back together...With a code red, nonetheless...And I put my subordinate to cover for me, thinking that something happened to you or whatever patient you have...And instead, I find you here with no problem, loitering around with the three stoogies - No offense -...Having a party. Woaw, Greg, be careful, you are overshadowing yourself with every passing day.” Katrina groaned, throwing in the bin the discardable surgery objects and hopped on his desk, crossing her legs together nonchalantly. “Awwww, you love me, don’t you?” he retorted in a fake sweet tone, making the girl shake her head and chuckle. “Yeah, of course, who doesn’t?” she could barely keep herself from grinning at his silly self. “So what’s the real problem? What did they do?” “We are trying to see what’s wrong with Carly’s angiogram, and I figured perhaps the gorgeous eyes of an exotic, successful, intelligent woman, would be able to see the problem of another successful and intelligent woman.” he tried to speak with more honey than he ever did, just for the laughs. “The girl kissed by fire should dye her hair again. Also...It came to my understanding that most people have...A left and a right leg, right? Why does the angio have two left feet?” she asked, taking her hair out of the ponytail and messing it around. “Et voila! Without even knowing the patient’s problems properly, you saw the wrong when these guys didn’t. See, I told you the foreigner would get it faster than you.” House limped back to pat her head, looking at the three with judgement. “So...Who screwed up something so basic? I wouldn’t have expected someone that works under you to do such a stupid mistake -... No, wait, it was Chase, wasn’t it?” Kat smirked, looking at the Aussie with a playful glint in her eyes. “Wh-What?! Why did you think it was me?!” Chase looked at her with revolt. “Are you trying to tell me it WASN’T you?” she pressed on, watching him blink and get back in his chair. “How did you know?” Greg challenged her, only to see her shrug. “He seems like the only one to screw up something like this because he was trying to charm the pants off some nurse.” she spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You are absolutely correct! Oh, and, stop messing with your hair, you’re leaving strands everywhere.” he grabbed her wrists, and just for a split second, his beautiful icy blue eyes peered into her fawn-like green ones. “Well...Every fire has cinders and ambers, doesn’t it. Now that you basically dragged me out of the surgery room, you have to keep me around for the case. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me purrrowling around, would you?” she joked around, just as Chase got up, staring at the angios he screwed up in complete disbelief. “Yeah. Sure. You do that. At least I’ll have someone competent around.” he nodded his head, a bit awkwardly. “That’s impossible! It can’t be - “ Chase tried to defend himself, despite having no excuse. “Or maybe it was Jenny. How come some resident signed this radiology report? Were you even in the room?” House reprimanded the blond doctor. “I’ll redo her angio- “ Chase tried to defend himself, but was quickly shut down by his superior. “You’ll do nothing!” an angry House was a scary House, which made the room atmosphere tense as hell. “Eric, go do the angiogram, please.” Kat muttered, simplifying the problem. “...I can’t believe I did that.” Chase turned around to look at his fuck up, making the red haired girl sigh. “That’s what happens when you think with the wrong head at the wrong time.” with that, she flapped her hand to dismiss both of them, dragging House to sit down, worrying about his leg. “I am surrounded by idiots.” he dragged a hand down his face in anger. “Yeah, I know what you mean...But they are not stupid, in the long run. Just...Distracted sometimes...At the wrong times, sure, but...They have redeeming qualities too.” she tried to defend them a bit, while also calm him down, knowing very well that nobody can think straight while angry. “Yeah, I know. But neither you, nor I, have ever been distracted by trivial things like this. Speaks volumes about someone’s priorities.” he retorted just as tauntingly as before. “Well...He’s still young...And he knows he’s attractive for most people...I don’t know. I can’t really defend him for this one.” she looked down, sighing. “Then don’t. It’s not your job to defend everyone or try to make me feel better. Look at you. You’re young, beautiful and smart, but not once did I see you being distracted by some boy. Chase has no excuse.” he cut her off, making her smile in understanding, nodding blankly. “Yeah...But you’re the only one who sees me that way. You...And James and Lisa...You’re the only ones that I trust to tell me the truth and be genuine with me...And you’re the only ones who talk to me or hang around me without wanting something out of me. Sometimes things are more complicated than you see at the surface.” her voice became softer, almost melancholic, something that was completely out of character for her, or at least, that’s what he thought.

House was about to open his mouth and interrogate her, in his own weird way, only for his office room to get opened and have Vogler and Cuddy walk right through. With an ever so quiet curse from the girl, she bit her lip and raised her head, trying not to look worried or intimidated.

“What a pleasant coincidence, finding both of you here. I see neither of you conformed to the rules yet. Are you trying to have an anarchy together? Not wearing proper clothing?” Vogler look down at the two of them, which made House blink in confusion at the girl sitting on his desk. “Well, I know I don’t wear a coat ‘cause it’s itchy and tacky...But as far as I’m aware, if my eyes haven’t gone wild from the LSD, Katrina’s wearing a medical scrub.” the man started playing with his cane, only to see the girl shoot him a warning look, mouthing for him to shut up. “Animal scrubs are unprofessional. Nobody in the hospital wears them, and there is no benefit to them.” the businessman refuted with ease. “The benefit is that I make them myself, they are comfy, and people find them nice to look at. My patients feel calmer and more reassured seeing cute things. It makes them see past their health issues, even by a few seconds. And children and teenagers especially love it.” the girl explained herself calmly, before biting her lip and speaking a bit lower. “I’d recommend you wear a cute scrub too, I’m sure they are more comfy than your business suits. Maybe you’ll lighten up and realise we are in a hospital and we work with people, not with documents and money.” “Haha, you’re pretty funny. Now I see why the two of you are always together. You have a knack for breaking the rules. Or, better said, you completely disregard the rules as if they don’t exist at all for you.” Vogler’s voice seemed to get darker and more threatening. “It’s just a coat and a scrub. House works from his office, and he wears suits, I don’t see how that’s a problem, the same as my scrubs, there’s no rule anywhere saying I am strictly forbidden from wearing cute tops. Do you really feel your authority so undermined by two people in this huge hospital wearing different things, despite not getting in the way of their pristine perfect work? Or perhaps you feel some kind of weird...Inferiority complex that you must hide and keep in check by walking all over everyone as if we are doormats?” Katrina spoke without even looking at anyone, only staring ahead, coincidently, at the messed up angiograms, and for a few seconds, she could almost feel her own legs getting screwed up from the malicious vibe emanating from the businessman. “Katrina...” Lisa brought her out from her trance, sharing a look of worry together, knowing very well they’re screwed either way. “It’s not about what rules are out there or not. It’s about the rules that I make, and making sure you are team players. If you are not, then...I believe we won’t be able to cooperate for much longer. Especially if Dr. Cuddy isn’t able to keep you in control.” Vogler threatened, before turning away and leaving, while Lisa gave her a pitiful look, following behind him. “...Fantastic day, isn’t it?” Katrina put her hands on her face, sighing in frustration. “Do you really make your own scrubs?” Greg asked, making her turn her head to look at him, before nodding. “Yeah. Want one? I can make you a pink one with lots of flowers and smiley faces.” she joked half-heartedly, which made him realise the annoying businessman was affecting her more than him. “Don’t be ridiculous.” he shook his head, getting up, patting her head. “What else do I have left after what just happened.” she stretched, cracking her fingers and spine, as she hopped off the desk, just as her pager started ringing. “Good luck with your patient, Greg. I have to go. If anything happens, page me...But no code red during surgery this time, please.” she gave him a tender smile, leaving the room, making him look after her.

What was it about her today that made her seem off? It has to be only Vogler, right? What else could it be. The patient, however, has many many symptoms, and no actual disease yet. Fascinating!

As time passed and he got to treat his patient, and even lied to the transplant committee so Carly would get a new heart, and nobody, except for Wilson and Black, who were there, knew about that felony he committed.

On the other hand, during this time, Katrina has been working day and night with barely any rest, other than the tons of coffee she had to down to keep herself awake. There was something very uplifting about overworking, and no, not only your heart rate.

“Hey, Kat.” Wilson raised his hand up to salute his friend, which made her stop in front of him, albeit a bit spazzic like a meerkat, but nothing too out of the ordinary. “Hey, James, how are you?” she smiled at him, walking slowly together to whatever place he was heading to. “Pretty good. Wanted to grab lunch, how about you?” he asked politely, putting his hands in his coat pockets. “It’s lunch already? How time flies...I forgot to eat again. Too bad.” she chuckled sheepishly, grinning at him. “Anyway, have a great meal, I have a surgery to prep for.” “You should still eat something, you can’t live on coffee alone.” James muttered with concern. “Thank you for your concern, James, I appreciate it. I have to hurry now, eat for me too.” she chuckled, stopping in her tracks, waving him goodbye. “Wait, hold up, I wanted to ask you something.” he stepped closer to her, bending a bit so he could speak without anyone lese hearing. “Do you know what House lied about? At the committee? I know he lied, but I don’t know what about.” he asked, making the girl sigh and shake her head. “No, sorry, I don’t know. If you want, I can ask him when I’m done with the surgery.” she suggested, seemingly interested herself. “If he tells you, that would be great. He seemed to stop himself from telling me because I am a member of both the board and the transplant committee...Which you are as well. Good luck.” he points out, both curious and frustrated with his friend. “Well that’s interesting...Okay, you’ve got me hooked, I’ll see what I can do and I’ll tell you as soon as I find out. Laters.” Kat winked at him, rushing to do the surgery.

However, she didn’t have to do much work, for when she was almost done with the surgery, House himself made his way into the room, examining her working, before speaking.

“How would you fancy dinner tonight?” he asked, which made her look at him, raising her eyebrow in confusion. “Did you talk to James by chance?” she questioned right back, doing the finishing touches. “Yeah, how’d you know?” he asked jokingly. “Oh, you know...Just the usual thing of me forgetting to take care of myself. So, where do we go?” she asked, finishing the sewing and turning around to exit the room. “My home. We get take out, fall asleep since it’s already past midnight...I came with the motorcycle, I even brought your cat helmet, come on, I’m hungry, don’t question so much.” he put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her to the parking spot. “No room to complain much, is there? Is it really past midnight? I feel like I just talked with James a little ago...” she muttered, taking the helmet and putting it on. “Time flies fast when you’re having fun, they say.” House pointed out, starting the engine.

For the rest of the night - Or early morning rather - They finished eating and were relaxing by the piano, playing “My Way” by Frank Sinatra and other fun, classical, beautiful songs, humming the lyrics and reveling in the fact that there were no cases for a while, and no worries, at least for what Vogler is worth.

“Say, mind if I ask you something?” Kat asked, turning her head to look at him. “Yes, a hooker came by just yesterday, how did you know?” he gasped dramatically, looking right back at her. “Oh, just a lucky guess. However, my question was going to point more towards the patient you just had, who needed a heart transplant. I and James were curious about your little white lie.” she chuckled at his jokes, which made him blink at her and frown. “Sorry, doctor-patient confidentiality makes me unable to say anything. As well as ethics. Those are very important rules that everyone must follow for a better place to live in, don’t you think?” she never really understood why, but those back and forth playful banters always made her laugh. “Oh yes, of course...Ethics...How could I possible forget about Ethics? Perhaps you have a dictionary so I can look it up once in a while. And now, for the real reason...I can assume it was something psychological? Some mental illness that nobody was supposed to know about?” she smirked right back at him, only for him to look at her for a brief few seconds and nod abruptly. “Bulimia and self-harm.” Greg answered, which made the girl smile sadly. “Figured it would be something like this...Many women like her have self-issues and they get desperate and lonely to the point where they find the only relief from stress and self-hatred in overworking and terrible coping mechanisms. Buuuut she proved to you she wanted to live, and you fought for her and saved her. That’s amazing. You...You are amazing, you know that, don’t you?” she praised him, a soft smile on her face of something that may or may not resemble admiration. “Where are you getting at with that? It’s almost like you’re praising her...For something.” his voice lowered a bit, almost as if he was interrogating her. “Praise is a big word...Although she is a great woman, without a doubt. I was actually praising you, above all else...And...I was just wondering...Would you...Would you do the same for me? Should I have been in the same position as she was.” she asked, as a matter of fact, which made the other doctor raise his eyebrow at her. “Why would you be asking something like that?” it was clear that by now, the atmosphere got a little bit tense, until she started randomly playing “Carol of the Bells”, such a beautiful, uplifting Christmas song, yet House could almost smell the nostalgic undertones it had. “You are being very weird, Katrina.” “Oh, come on, lighten up, it was only to satisfy my scientific curiosities. Christmas is coming, I haven’t slept in two days, I’ve been drinking so much coffee that I think I’ve transcended into another universe altogether...And everyone is weird in their own way, you can’t tell me otherwise. Now come on, answer me, don’t be such a killjoy.” she grinned, nudging him playfully with her shoulder as she got closer to him, trying to get him to stop thinking it was some greater problem. “...No.” he answered solemnly, which made the girl blink and tilt her head to the side like a confused puppy. “No...You won’t do the same for me, or No...You won’t answer?” Kat asked softly, hoping to get a straight answer out of him, but that’s never the case with House. “Figure that out when you go to sleep tonight. Good night, Kat.” Greg said, getting up from the piano and making his way to his dormitory, leaving the girl alone.

Sighing, she continued to play “Summertime” from Gershwin to calm herself down, before getting up herself and walking all the way to her home, albeit not a long walk, yet still relaxing thanks to the cold outside that relaxed her.

The next day, Katrina walked in around the clinic with her big Triple Espresso Caramel Latte cup, going around to do her clinic duty, only to get paged by House once again, most likely to help with another diagnostic, or point out some obvious idiocy one of his subordinates has done.

On the way there, she spotted the big bad wolf, so she hid behind numerous people and quickly ran up the emergency stairs to escape her fate, until she got to the diagnostician’s office, catching her breath.

“Why did you run? There was no code red this time.” he asked, wagging his cane around. “Yeah, well, code V from Vendetta spotted me, so I had to pretend I didn’t see him. The emergency stairs are a blessing, sometimes.” she chuckled, leaning, on the glass wall, taking big sips from her coffee. “Have you thought about what I said last night?” he asked, and by then, the eyes of the onlookers seemed to go back and forth between those two. “I would have...But as you can see, I didn’t exactly sleep last night. Again.” she gave him a sarcastic, exaggerated grin. “Yeah, I can see that. You look dreadful. Do you make it your personal mission to go in the Record book for the idiot who refused to sleep the longest?” he limped in front of her, making her sigh and roll her eyes. “It wasn’t for lack of trying, okay? I go to bed, it takes hours to fall asleep, and when I do, I have nightmares and sleep paralysis, I wake up startled and restless, and there is that, I can’t fall asleep back again because of overwhelming anxiety. Are you happy with my answer?” she looked up at him with an almost annoyed look in her exhausted eyes. “...Nope.” House dragged his answer a bit, as if he was thinking over some rationalisation of her behaviour. “Are you taking pills?” he asked again, popping a Vicodin pill. “Uh...Should I?” she muttered, blinking questioningly at him. “Maybe. If you don’t already. I’m not entirely sure if you are or not, unless you tell me.” he pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Or maybe I need a long vacation in the Maldives. Or to go back home in Europe. Who knows, maybe sleeping in the Sun, on a beach chair, hearing the ocean waves would prove to be a great way to fall asleep and actually...You know...Sleep!” she shrugged and turned around to leave, but he hooked the semi-circle part of his cane around her neck, bringing her back, making her yelp in shock. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting off recently.” he limped in front of her, blocking the exit. “Ah, yes, of course. An anomaly in an otherwise boring human who is bound by routines. How could I forget how much you love solving these anomalies? But, you see, I’m not your patient, so I have to ask you to refrain from trying to diagnose me, and return to whatever your guy has.” she tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge, which only made her sigh in aggravation. “I think...You are hiding something.” House pushed her with his cane just enough to look at her better. “Yeah, you’ve got me. Something completely unexpected...Like...Vogler giving me a hard time and threatening to fire me, despite being the head of the Cardiology department...And Christmas is approaching and I’m as lonely as always...Oh, and, how could I forget, my family wants to visit. My family. Who hasn’t contacted me in like 15 years. Suddenly wants to visit me. I’m SURE they want to have a very nice, lovely chat with me. Now that you know how miserable my days have been lately, can I go back to being miserable in my own department, where I can actually do something productive with my time?” it wasn’t often when she got so worked up, but it was clear she was stressed out and needed some way to vent or relax. “Don’t you want to know the answer to your question?” he looked down for a few seconds, before looking in her eyes, noticing how her eyes were puffy and droopy, and her bottom lip was quivering lightly. “...I don’t know.” she muttered, moving past him and going back to the clinic to do her job as she’s supposed to.

Of course, Vogle continued to be a problem for everyone, Christmas passed and she was just as lonely as every other year, so she drunk herself to sleep while listening to old school songs from her native country, because no matter how silly they were, they still made her feel happy and nostalgic.

Things continued to go array for everyone in the hospital, so bad and so hard that the evil businessman called for a board meeting to fire House, which caused a shit ton of problems for everyone, especially Kat, Wilson and Cuddy...But the only ones who refused were the first two, which escalated to another meeting right then to fire them...On her own birthday, barely a week and a half after Christmas.

“Doctor Wilson, Doctor Black. I was hoping you were gonna miss this one.” Vogler said as soon as the two entered the office room and sat on their chairs next to each other. “A man is the sum of his actions. Here are a few of Dr. House’s. He violated a D.N.R. and was charged with assault. He brought a termite into the O.R. and spat on a surgeon. He accepted a Corvette from a patient who was a known member of the New Jersey Mafia.” the businessman began, only to get stopped by one of the surgeons. “Ed, look-” he tried to reason, but was harshly cut off. “Edward.” Vogler looked sharply at him. “Edward. You look at anyone’s career, you can find things that are-” the surgeon began to speak again, only to get quickly shut down. “These are the last 3 months! He’s personally had more complaints filed against him than any department in this hospital.” Vogler continued, and James tried to reason this time. “Okay. He’s screwed-up. He’s miserable. And he should probably re-read the ethics code, but it works for him. He’s saved hundreds of lives.” Wilson explained, but it was clear Vogler was on a war path. “He is a drug addict who flaunts his addiction and refuses to get treatment! He is a disgrace and an embarrassment to this hospital.” this statement made the red haired girl groan in annoyance and let herself fall back on the chair. “No, he’s not a drug addict, that’s what YOU want to see. How would you feel if your leg was in excruciating pain because of a surgery choice you had NO choice over, and yet, you still had to work, save lives, and think properly? House MAY look like he’s some kind of insane jerk, but he is known all over America for being THE best diagnostician and was able to save people that otherwise, in the hand of ordinary doctors, would have died. Oh, and, those complaints have always been revoked or solved once the patient...You know...LIVED! You just want him fired ‘cause he’s not being your obedient lap dog. If you are so brave to speak ill of a person when he’s not around, why don’t you also have the guts to speak the truth?” she leaned forward to glare at her enemy, as Wilson put his hand over hers, trying to calm her down. “Says the one who’s always by his side, helping him indulge in his nefarious medical fantasies. Let’s keep this simple. Either he goes, or I go.” Vogler spoke, making Katrina rest her chin on her hand, watching him closely. “You shouldn’t personalise this.” Lisa tried to reason, but this guy was over the limits. “And by I, I mean my hundred million dollars. How’s that for personalising?” he started at poor Lisa, who was in a huge dilemma. “Who knew adults could be so petty? You give us money for a reason, and then you threaten to take it away because one doctor, the only one who cares about his patients more than anything, does his job as he is supposed to. Very mature.” Kat sneered at him, rolling her eyes at him. “Gregory House is a symbol of everything wrong with the health care industry. Waste. Insubordination. Doctors preening like they’re kind, and the hospital is their own private fiefdom. Health care is a business, I’m gonna run it like one. I hereby move to revoke the tenure of Dr. Gregory House and terminate his employment at this hospital, effective immediately.” Vogler declared, which made the red head jump up from her seat and slam her hand on the desk. “Since when can you decide for everyone? Are you some sort of God or what? You are WRONG Ed. First of all, Gregory House is the ONLY doctor in this hospital who is capable of being perfectly objective and save ALL his patients, even from the weirdest, most unexpected diseases! Secondly, yeah, we ARE Gods, in a way! We actively get ourselves in the line to save hundreds of lives, we...We HOLD their fates in OUR hands! He is not the problem, and Health Care is NOT supposed to be a business! This is not a business corporate, this is a HOSPITAL! A place where we, DOCTORS, save lives! You wouldn’t get it, you’re not a doctor! You didn’t have to see people in agony, begging to be killed, nor did you have people crying in happiness for being saved! You know absolutely NOTHING of medicine! You have NO right to fire Gregory House, just like you have NO right to tell us, who spent over 10 years of our youth studying constantly, and more than 10 years having this healthcare as our everyday life style, that we should do this for money, and not for the people!” the room went silent from the shock of her outburst, since nobody, in 15 years, saw her so agitated, and yet, she was right...Against the wrong man. “Fascinating and touching speech, I must say. Now I know what I have to deal with. Now then, let’s resume to our votes. All in favour of firing Dr. Gregory House?” Vogler asked, cheekily raising his own hand, which was slowly followed by everyone, except for Katrina and James, who looked at each other with worry, letting their arms fall back from the table and holding hands for comfort. “Dr. Wilson? Dr. Black?” Vogler tried to nudge to give in, but it was for naught. “Opposed.” both of them answered in unison, knowing that either way, they’re screwed. “The...Motion is defeated.” the business man sighed, letting silence hang in for a few seconds, before speaking again, in a chirper voice. “Dr. Wilson, Dr. Black, would you mind leaving the room, please?” “Excuse me?” James asked, frowning in confusion at his words. “We’re going to take another vote.” Vogler explained, as if it was nothing. “We are board members. We have to be here when you vote. You can’t void our votes by making us stand in the hallway. And, as far as I’m aware, you need notice and at least one business day before you can reconsider any matter.” James continued, knowing very well that he can’t prolong the agony. “We’re voting on a different matter, which you are conflicted out of.” Vogler stood up, looking solemn over everyone. “How can we be conflicted out of? What is that even supposed to mean?” Katrina asked, looking at Lisa, who seemed to have an apologetic look on her face. “This vote is whether to dismiss Dr. James Wilson and Katrina Black.” everyone looked down hearing that...Katrina and James were a completely different matter, compared to House... “Oh, great, yes, fire everyone who is speaking the truth and doesn’t go by your stupid business idea. Newsflash, not everybody is a greedy fuckass like you are. Some of us are here because that’s why we wasted our life for! Saving! LIVES! If you guys, after so many years of working together, think that I and Wilson should leave, then fine, sure, vote yes. But if you’re doing it because of this guy...Then congratulations, welcome to communism. Trust me, I’d know, I’m Romanian.” looking with disgust at that guy, she grabbed her friend and left the office without another word, and when they got far enough, she slammed her back on a wall, pulling at her hair. “At least I know why House likes you. You were right. You have always been an admirable doctor. I hope one day he will appreciate you as he should. Its not like he has many people who actually tolerate him...” James put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her out of having an anxiety attack, until Vogler came by, looking as menacing and narcissistic as usual.

He threatened both of them, saying they have the option of leaving the hospital, otherwise he will destroy them...Which means that there was at least one person who voted to keep them there.

There was no point in trying to comfort each other, so instead, they went to their own offices, packing up everything they owned. However, instead of packing, Katrina stood criss-crossed on her desk, looking at her prized possessions on the shelves, including her awards, diplomas, random little plants and flowers, cute decorations...And a fox that had a heart in its mouth, that she received as a gift from House, Wilson and Cuddy when she became the head of the Cardiology department.

She didn’t even realise how tears were falling down her face, she almost felt numb to it all, but in reality, her heart hurt like hell and she couldn’t imagine how life would continue to go on from now on.

The sound of the door softly opening was blocked away by her personal phone ringing, and with a lethargic move, she raised her phone, without looking at the caller ID, and answered.

“What do you want?” Kat sighed on the phone, not having the strength to fake cheerfulness as she usually did. “Oh, sweety, hi, how are you?” ...it was her mother...What a coincidence. “Why are you calling? You haven’t contacted me since I left the country. I’m not sure you realised the passing of time, but it’s been over 15 years.” the girl sneered over the phone, clutching her grip on it. “Don’t be like that, darling, I just wanted to see how my eldest daughter is doing! You see, we want to visit you tomorrow, and -” her mother began, but was quickly cut off by her daughter. “You’re in America?! Why in the world are you here?! You NEVER left the country!” her alarmed reaction was rightfully explained, as her mother only laughed fakely. “Well, you see, your sister is very sick and she needs organ transplants and...You are a perfect match! Your sister really, really needs your kidney, liver and heart, and -” of course the only reason she’d call is because she needed her... “You...Called...So that I would kill myself...And give my organs to your precious daughter...Because I don’t deserve to live, but she does...Sorry, you might not have been informed, I’m a stone cold bitch without a heart, and I’ve always been. If you want organs, beg to a transplant committee, otherwise, I’m not giving my life to some stupid bitch who thinks she’s better than me. Oh, and, by the way, in case you’ve forgotten, you already disowned me long ago, so there’s no reason for you to call anymore. And don’t call me to the funeral, I won’t come. Bye.” Kat aggressively slammed the phone lid close, before throwing it on the ground, putting her head on her hands and finally breaking down to cry...

But there were no tears.

There was only exhaustion.

“Hey.” the low voice of Doctor Gregory House echoed through the room which made the girl squeak in surprise and turn back to look at him with wide, frightened eyes. “Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people?!” she accused him, clutching her blouse where her heart is supposed to be. “I knocked. You didn’t answer, I let myself in. I...See you’re not having the best day.” Greg pointed out, which only made the girl roll her eyes and turn back to look at her shelf. “Yeah, no kidding.” she snorted, her hands grasping her ankles as she looked down. “Why did you come here? Did Wilson tell you what happened and you came to throw some pity words and say how you saved the patient? If yes, then go ahead, I’m listening...As always.” she waved her hand around, urging him to talk and stop being so awkward, but the silence seemed to cut them with a laser. “...Thank you.” the words she never heard uttered from his mouth before shocked her so much that she turned around to look at him, holding the eye contact that she was barely able to hold with anyone. “You...You? Gregory House? Are...Thanking...Me? For what? You never thanked me for anything I did to you, so why the change of heart? Did Wilson’s golden tongue melt your heart and mellowed you?” she taunted him to get him talking, but his expression didn’t seem as harsh or condescending as it usually did, instead, he seemed to be...Almost apologetic? As if he realised that his actions of being himself hurt the people he cares about. “Do you hate me?” Greg asked, which made the girl frown and blink in confusion. “You...Think that I gave up the best thing I’ve ever had, which is my job here, because...I hated you? I loved this place because you were here...And James and Lisa...But now that it’s all over...What are the odds of someone hiring all three of us at once, and...Lisa miraculously becoming the head of another hospital and...Yeah, I’ve got nothing, it’s all ruined. Guess I can finally get a vacation. Anything else you want to say before I fuck off completely out of your life, just as you wanted to?” it was clear that she was exhausted and just wanted to go home and be herself with no more veil of lies covering her. “You...You are too good for jerks like me, Katrina. You should hate me. I repeatedly ruined your happiness time and time again.” House muttered, looking down at the floor. “Right...I’m sorry for caring about you, I guess...If that’s what you want me to say. Stupid Katrina, huh? Always caring about others and forget about herself. Always so miserable and helpless, but nobody seems to notice. Stupid, lonely Katrina, who has no friends and no relatives to care for her...Who only want her alive to donate all her organs to her sick sister and she can just die for all anyone cares. Now, thanks for telling me that I should hate the only person I actually gave a damn about and trusted whole-heartedly. You made your point, as usual, you want me out of your life, I will do just that. Have a not-so-miserable life from now on...At least you.” she wiped her face from the tears, waving her hand for him to leave her alone already, as she looked at shelves again and hugged the fox tightly to her chest, burying her face in it. “The answer is yes.” was the only thing House said as he left her office, his head hung, and for the first time in ages, he felt his own heart aching at the sight of the girl crying.

While he did as he usually does, spending all his time saving his patient, she drank herself to sleep, day and night, listening to sad songs, singing them at the top of her lungs, hoping it would be therapeutical, but at some point, she forgot what it meant to be properly rational, and she touched the forbidden stash she was never supposed to use.

And in the end, at whatever god forsaken hour of the early morning, she called someone, and dearly hoped they would answer. She had no idea why she called this person...Maybe because he was the first person in the calling list, or maybe there was some other underlying reason that she didn’t want to accept.

Apparently, being drunk out of your wits out on the terrace of her penthouse, while singing at the top of her lungs some silly or depressing Romanian songs, as outside was freezing cold and snowing heavily...But she didn’t feel the cold, despite how light she was dressed...It wasn’t enough make her feel something again.

“Katrina? Do you know what time it is?” a gruff, sleepy voice asked on the other end of the line. “N-No, not really. I wasn’t even sure who I called. Sorry.” she sighed, as she started to cry. “Are...You crying?” a rustle from the other side resembled House getting up rapidly from the bed. “I-I think so, y-yeah. I...I didn’t realise I was crying. I-I don’t even know why I called you.” she gasped, taking another shot of vodka mixed with chocolate bailey’s. “Are you drunk?!” House spoke in a higher voice, obviously shocked, putting on his coat. “You don’t even drink!...I’m coming over.” “N-No, y-you can’t! You can’t see me like this! And...And I have to know something very important from you! It’s VERY important! Life or death important!” she raised her voice into the phone, unkown to him, as she was fidgeting back and forth on the couch, which made House stop in his tracks just as he touched the door knob. “What is it?” he asked in a way so she would try to calm down. “D-Do you...Do you hate me?!” the desperation in her voice was something so foreign for him to experience, but something so usual for her. “What?! What’s that question, why in the world would I hate you?! Katrina, what did you do?!” he slammed the door shut, rushing towards his motorbike. “I NEED to know that! Just answer this simple question! Please, Greg, just answer!” her voice became more strained and desperate. “...Of course I don’t hate you. I couldn’t. Not you.” he sighed, getting up on his motorbike. “No matter what I did?” she started sobbing by now, which really worried the man. “Yes, of course, now hang in there, I’m gonna be there in a few minutes.” Greg put his phone on speaker, in his jacket, so he could still talk to her, as thankfully, their homes were pretty close to each other. “Greg...I-I’m...I’m afraid...I...I did something bad...Something very bad...” she turned around on the couch she was lying on, watching the sky as she shivered, snow falling on her, as she took another shot. “Katrina, I’m waiting at the elevator. What did you do?” House kept tapping his foot until that dreadfully slow elevator pinged, showing it got to the bottom floor, then got in, waiting to reach the pent house. “I...Took pills...” she muttered, clutching the box of pills. “How many?” he asked urgently. “I-I don’t know! I’m drunk, I’m hurting, I’m desperate, I’m lonely and I had a bottle of pills...One, two, three, four, five...And then it’s all blurry...But the bottle seems pretty empty...And I’m scared of an OD...” she explained over the phone, and then, she heard the front door slam close, and next thing she saw was a tall figure rushing in front of her, then he crashed on the couch on the terrace, and he pulled her to his chest, putting his jacket around her shoulders, his hands on her face, trying to warm her up. “You...Absolute...Idiot!” Greg scolded her, which only made her chuckle weakly. “I really am, aren’t I?” she said as more tears fell down her face. “You really don’t hate me, do you? Now that you know?” she clutched tightly to his Tshirt, as he could only sigh and hold her tightly. “No. I don’t hate you. I can’t...Now show me the pill bottle.” he told her, and suddenly, he felt her fall limp in his arms, just as she pointed to the empty, knocked down bottle of anti-drepressants. “What did you do...” Greg muttered in horror as he dragged her to the bathroom, getting her in the bathtub, completely dismissing his aching leg, as he used the shower tap to get warm water on her, while he made her vomit all the pills she downed, hoping she wouldn’t need to go to the hospital, and obviously, that nothing would happen to her.

For the whole night and morning, he didn’t move from there, only holding the girl, checking on her at regular intervals of time, making sure her vitals were still normal... Until she heard a string of incoherent mutters, begging him not to leave her alone and that she doesn’t want to to be away from him.

Oh, Kat, if only you knew what kind of effect you had on him...What kind of pain you were making him feel...The grief of being betrayed by Stacy, the one he thought was the love of his life, and then the painful leg...And now you, someone he cares so much for...

She deserves so much more...She is so much better than he is, House thought, and yet, the selfish part of him, the one that was quickly beginning to gain terrain against his sensible one, desperately wanted to cling onto her and have her be his lover together.

Funny how the ones who look to be the healthiest and happiest are in reality the best actors and nobody knows if there’s ever anything wrong with them. Which only made her kindness and feelings towards him more genuine, he thought. She’s in constant pain, just like him, it was no wonder she could sympathise so well with, unlike everybody else...Or maybe she was just empathetic enough? More like Pathetic, she’d say, no doubt.

Time passed at an irrelevant pace, until she finally began to stir in her unconscious state, and finally, she fluttered her eyes open, making Gregory sigh in relief, and as soon as they made eye contact, her cheeks began to turn a hue pinker.

“Greg...? Why are you...? What happened...?” Kat muttered, clutching her head in pain. “You don’t remember anything from last night?” he asked, frowning in confusion. “...Sorry. I know I was pretty sad...And I was listening to music from my childhood at home...And I started drinking...And I remember the bottle of pills taunting me...And from then on, it’s all blank. Did I...Did I call you...?” she clinged on his shirt to get into a sitting position. “Yeah, something like that. Can you stand? You need to change into dry clothes before you catch the Rhino thing.” he joked, making the girl smile softly. “Oh no, not the Rhino thing!” she chuckled, and with a bit of help, she got up, and was able to change into proper, warm clothes. “I’m starving, wanna go eat something? I have some coupons for the Chinese restaurant just down the street.” she hooked her arm to his, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Sounds like a plan, let’s go. But before that, you must promise me never to do something like that again.” House looked at her with seriousness in his eyes. “Okay. I promise. I...I don’t know why I caved in like that. I always promised myself I’d never go that far...I fucked up once, but in a different way...And...I guess in my drunk state I didn’t realise that no matter how many pills I take, the pain won’t go away...Drunk people are really stupid, aren’t they” she chuckled awkwardly, lowering her head in guilt and shame as she used her chopsticks to get some noodles. “...People in pain do stupid things sometimes.” Greg muttered, letting silence take over them for a few minutes, before speaking again. “Happy late birthday, Katrina.” his words made her look at him with eye, confused eyes, before taking out her phone at looking at the date, realising she spent her whole birthday drinking. “I...Completely forgot...Guess now we’re even, huh?” Kat smirked, pointing her chopsticks at him in amusement.

Not much time later, House called Kat over to his office at evening, and everyone dear to her was there, celebrating that Lisa managed to get rid of Vogler once and for all...Of course, of the 100 million $ too, but that’s besides the point. They were back in business, the shock family, ready to save more lives again!

Everything went back to normal - Or well, the normality that was entrapped in their weirdness - But it was THEIR normality. A chaos of going back and forth, arguing, almost killing patients, and then, saving them miraculously.

However, nobody is safe from illness, and one day, during some diagnosis discussion, Kat was pacing back and forth, thinking and saying her ideas for the others to refute or agree to, only for her to abruptly stop in her tracks, her back facing everyone as she coughed.

“Haemoptysis.” she muttered, only for House to grimace. “Haemo-what now? Last time I checked, our patient didn’t cough nor spit blood.” but instead of answering, she coughed up a bit more, her hands covering her face. “Vertigo...” she spoke again, in a much fainter voice. “What the hell are you babbling about?” he hit his cane on the ground, only to see her taking a few steps forwards, albeit, a little wobbly. “I’m...Gonna...” and just as she uttered those words, her legs gave out, and she fell, the only reason for not hitting the ground being Greg’s Godly reflexes which ensured he caught her. “Damn it, not again...What are you three sitting around for? Get a crash cart and a nurse!” House scolded his interns, who rushed to do just that. “What did you do this time, Kat...” he shook his head in disdain as he brushed her gorgeous crimson hair out of her face.

She looked so peaceful now, unconscious, were it not for the blood on her chin and hands, but now, unlike last time, she didn’t look like some kind of undead who was ready to give up her life at any given moment out of sheer misery and self-hatred.

As soon as she was taken away from his arms, he refused to go look over her...He didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid that, since he cared so much about her, he would become unreasonably subjective and he may completely screw up her diagnosis. Greg hoped with all his heart that it was nothing life-threatening, but blood in her lungs was no easy, nor simple thing.

Wilson visited her and held her hand, Cuddy visited her and kissed her forehead, even his subordinates went to check up on her because they wanted to...Even her cardiology colleagues went to see how she was doing...

But not him. Never him. Because if he did, he was screwed for life.

No matter how much he wanted to deny himself, however, he couldn’t help but find himself in her room, in the middle of the night, sitting on a chair besides her, holding her hand in both of his, kissing it and thinking of her diagnosis.

That is, until her hand suddenly started to shake, startling the doctor besides her, as she opened her eyes, panting for air.

“Hey, you okay?” House asked, squeezing her hand gingerly. “Urgh, yeah...Just had a nightmare...Followed by sleep paralysis. Again. Nothing new, here. Uhmm...It may sound as a bit of a deja-vu, but what in the world happened?” she sighed, getting into a sitting position, looking at him. “You tell me. You coughed blood, got dizzy and fainted. Did you take anything? Felt bad or something?” he asked, making the girl scratch the back of her head awkwardly. “Nothing that I haven’t felt before, really. I have anxiety, I frequently experience restlessness, problems with breathing, arrhythmia, sometimes dizziness and stuff. It’s inconvenient, but you get used to it, so I didn’t took any pills, especially not after that scare a few days ago. Do you...Think it’s because of...My fuck up?” she looked worriedly at him, but he only looked down, thinking. “Not so fun being on the other end, huh?” House smirked before shaking his head. “I have no idea. We need to do some tests on you before we can confirm anything. But you’ll be fine, that much I can guarantee.” he promised, which made her smile sadly, leaning back on the pillow, squeezing his hand back. “Can you stay with me a bit longer? I, uhm...You know...Problems sleeping...When I’m with someone...I tend to sleep better...And a close to a full night. I-I don’t know why, but it’s always been like this.” she brought up the hem of the blanket to cover her face. “Then get a boyfriend and sleep with him. You’re young, smart and beautiful, there’s nothing stopping you from that.” Greg muttered in a low voice, almost self-deprecating. “Yeah, that’s easy. If men actually went out of their way to talk to me...And that hasn’t happened in 15 years, so, as you say, Mazel Tov. That, and I’m afraid of people.” she sighed, biting her lip in embarrassment. “Whaaaaaat? No boyfriend in 15 years? No action? I don’t believe you.” he took off the blanket from her face, only to see her blushing face. “You’re the only person that I never lied to. I’m great at lying and deceiving and all that...But yeah, I know, I’m pitiful, don’t have to remind me. Why do you think my life is mostly spent in the hospital. I’m not as lonely as I’d be at home.” she looked away, snatching her blanket back. “You don’t have to stay. It’s much more comfortable sleeping in a bed, especially with that leg of yours.” “Yeah, it would be. Now close your eyes and get some sleep.” and so, he didn’t budge from her side the whole night, and she didn’t wake up from nightmares or restlessness.

Days went on, and she kept on getting tested, and House was beginning to get more and more angry at the fact that he wasn’t able to properly diagnose her faster, and he was becoming unbearable for everyone around him.

On the other hand, just as Lisa and James were visiting her, trying to keep her company, when the two people she never expected to see again burst into her room with wide grins on their faces...Which in turn, made Kat drop her phone on the ground from the shock.

“What the hell...?” the red haired girl’s bottom lip quivered in anger. “Kitty-Kat, darling, we missed you so much! You haven’t come home in 15 years!” the mum stepped forward, ready to throw her arms around the girl, but she was met with hostility as Kat dragged herself backwards in the bed, away from her, pure disgust glowing on her face. “Don’t you dare touch me! And don’t you even think about calling me that nickname! I don’t care if you’re my parents, you never gave a damn about me, so don’t pretend to do now that THE perfect daughter is terminally sick and needs a quick organ donation that would ultimately KILL the useless, unwanted, worthless daughter!” Kat sneered at them, untangling the respiratory oxygen tubes who got knotted in her sudden gesticulation. “Kat, are you alright...?” James walked next to her bed, trying to calm her down, only to get yelled at. “No, I’m not! Get them out of here before I get a restriction order!” she continued to glare at them. “Come one, Kitten, don’t be like that, we came all the way from Europe to see you, when you didn’t even give us a call! I don’t know why you hate us.” the dad gave an awkward smile, as if he was embarrassed by his problematic child. “You didn’t call once to tell me Happy Christmas, or...Or Happy Birthday...You didn’t congratulate me on finishing University or on...Literally anything. And now, you come to me only to make sure that I actually die so you could take away my organs and make sure your favourite daughter keeps on living...And you’re actually...You really...Have the guts to ask me WHY I hate you? I hate you because you never cared for me, that’s why!” she gripped the hand grasps of the bed, not realising that House also got in the room. “No need to be so selfish, darling, it’s just a few organs that you could live without! We managed to find a heart transplant, we just need a kidney and part of your liver!” the father tried to negotiate, only for her to grit her teeth. “You know what? I hope my sister dies the most painful death there is, and that you go off after her. We may be blood related, but I was never your daughter. And you know what? Just to make sure...You think you can get my organs? Here’s my response to that!” in a fit of rage, she ripped her oxygen tubes, which continued with violent coughing and some blood. “Why the hell do you even want me to treat you when all you do is get yourself in self-harming situations? First, you OD on anti-depressants while drunk, and now you’re cutting off your oxygen supply to prove your point that you have mummy and daddy issues and that you’d rather die than...Die? You’re just a selfish, immature girl with suicidal tendencies whenever things don’t go her way. You think I’m gonna lie to the transplant committee for someone like that? Because the answer is NO!” House limped in front of her, speaking with so much hatred that it made the girl cry and shake, crestfallen at the words she heard. “And you just had to go ahead and tell everyone that I’m fucked in the head. I wonder how much that is gonna up my chances of actually...Making friends and...A boyfriend...Y’know...Literally anyone who’d actually give a fuck about me. So...Yeah, thanks, you’re right, I’d rather die than being humiliated by the only person I ever actually had any genuine feelings for, because I’m sort of a sociopath with relationship traumas. So, if you could do me a favour, before I pass out, pick these two idiots and get yourself out of this place before I call security, okay? Thanks, bye.” and just like that, she started coughing up more blood, and fainted.

Seeing her being a reckless idiot drove House through the roof, and he realised that maybe, his dad wasn’t the only one to need a “Parent Of The Year” award, but even so, the fact that Katrina was so angry that she felt the need to be so overly dramatic to prove a point, and to have Cuddy kick them out of the hospital, sure was meant she was desperate, and for good reason. No wonder she never spoke about her family, or about anything about herself, unless it meant some nostalgic things about her country and other things that could come up as funny when told properly.

But why the hell does she have to make everything so much more complicated to him, especially now that he completely screwed up everything and she hates him.

How the hell did he manage to fuck up like that, just when he finally got ready to tell her how he feels...How he GENUINELY feels, without having to get full-sarcastic-jerk mode, and just telling her that he’s over Stacy completely and he’s ready to commit to her...And he just ends up basically telling her that he hates her, which is a complete lie.

Great job, Gregory House. The only thing you’re capable of doing is diagnosing and saving people, and sometimes, even that fails. Good thing she was okay, and with some anti-coagulant medicine, the clot that was causing her pulmonary embolism completely disappeared, and she was all ready to go.

Ever since that day, House didn’t visit her, her parents completely disappeared, and James and Lisa were completely pitiful, which only made the girl miserable. Thanking whatever deity existent that it was the last night being stuck in the hospital as the unfavoured party, so she went up on the roof, sitting on the little wall edge, looking up at the starts on the sky, putting the saddest song she ever knew to play on her MP3 player, which was “Daca ploaia s-ar opri” from Cargo, and as she softly sang the lyrics, the door opened and the sound of tapping cane was heard,

youtube

“I have no idea what the words are, but he song seems pretty sad. What gives?” House limped towards her, which only made her groan and roll her eyes in annoyance. “Aaaand you had to ruin the most emotional song as well. Great, what is next on your long list of destroying? I have no dignity, no pride anymore...My health you can’t legally screw...And there’s nothing else on the table is there? I have no heart anyway. So why are you here?” she asked, not even bothering to look at him. “Would you believe me if I said I came here to apologise?” House asked, getting closer to her, then turning his head to look up at the stars as well. “After what you pulled in that room...No. I don’t believe you anymore. You’re a jerk. You’ve always been one, but not to me, and not enough to actually hurt me. Now you did. Congratulations. You lost a friend...Not that you’d care, anyway. You’ve proven me that enough. You can go now.” she sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. “Yeah, I know, I fucked up. I got scared when I saw you pull that stunt, I panicked and...That happened. And I’m sorry about that. I admit that much.” he said as he put his coat around her, hoping she wouldn’t die of cold or something. “Fantastic, the asshole knows how to apologise. Congratulations, you are amazing. Now, do you actually expect me to believe you, or what are you trying to accomplish?” Kat asked, giving him a sarcastic smile. “Before you got sick, I was...I was going to ask you out. But then you got sick, and in turn I got worried sick.” Greg began to explain, only to get cut off. “No, you’re lying or pitying me. You don’t like me. I’m not...I’m not Stacy, or...Or Lisa. I don’t challenge you with every turn you take, I’m not a jerk to you, I am...Practically nothing like the women that you have been interested with, so excuse me for not believing a word you say. I was sick, vulnerable and pitiful, you were miserable, you heard that I haven’t dated in 15 years, you thought I was desperate for love, but trust me, after what happened when I was 17...I don’t think I want anything like that again.” she tsked, looking away from him, laying her chin on her knees. “I know I’m a jerk, but does that really sound like something I would do?” his voice sounded almost hurt at the implication. “...No, it doesn’t. But I also don’t believe that you like me and you’re not saying that just because you heard my dying words...Allegedly. You’ve said your speech, now you can go, and we will continue our work as it always was, without having to see each other, so no more paging me when it’s convenient to you either. Goodbye.” she waved her hand to dismiss him, but he didn’t budge. “What will it take for you to believe me? I will give up my parking spot for you. I will play the guitar for you. I...Will convince Wilson to give me his stupid dog so you could visit him more often. I don’t know, you know I’m horrible with these things called emotions. But I want you to know that what I say its genuine...And apart from what I said today, I never lied to you. So, if you ever have it in your heart to believe me and give it a chance...I’ll be waiting. And...I’ll be here to listen to you talk about your pain as well.” he confessed, and as soon as he turned around to leave, she quickly extended her arm to grab his wrist. “You...Really...Mean it?” she muttered, not daring to look at him. “Because if you fuck up, I swear I’m going to do something completely unethical and against the Hippocratic oath. Primum non nocere, they say. First of all, don’t do harm. I’m completely fine with killing you, because, in case you don’t know, I’m a sociopathic, heartless foreigner with no morals or ethics.” she smirked at him in amusement. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of Nocere, if you have the Vicodin for it. Fire-Kissed girls are said to kiss the best. If we test that theory and it’s true...Then I think we both know we’re gonna work pretty well. If you want to.” he looked at her, putting her hands of her face, looking at her tenderly. “I really hate that I was made broken from the making in factory to be completely unable of hating how big of a jerk you are. Why is it so...Endearing, when it comes from you, but completely repulsive when it comes from anyone else? I can’t tell, and it’s annoying, because I can read people to a T. On the other hand...There is another saying...Vixens always get what they want. Maybe I finally scored the big jackpot.” she chuckled, pulling him down in a soft kiss, the feeling of warmth and love lingering on, intoxicating them even after they parted. “Yeah. I was right. You’re like my own fix of Vicodin or Amphetamines, and I’m completely addicted to you.” he flashed her a charming, playful smile, before kissing her with even more fire and passion than before. “Careful, you don’t want to OD, do you? You’ll need a detox or rehab.” she laughed at him, putting her hands over his, kissing the inside of his wrist. “Oh, please, I’d OD on you ever day, as many times as you want, and I’d have no regrets. You know what they say...Tout le monde necessite La Petite Mort.” he retorted just as cheekily, which in turn, made her laugh merrily. “I can’t believe-! You just...You just said that-...! You’re an incredibly, annoyingly good flirter, especially because I told you those pick up lines before...But don’t forget about me.” she shook with laughter, winking at him mischievously. “Wilson’s ex-wives always praise him for being the best. I’ll prove him I’m better than him at everything. Especially this.” he chuckled, sitting next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest, kissing the top of her head. “You better not talk about...That...To Wilson...Or Lisa...Or anyone, for the matter, or I swear, that little death you’re talking about, will be more literal than metaphorical.” she threatened him, poking his sides. “Oh, no, I’m scared of a little fox biting my nose while I’m asleep. Whatever could I do?” he mockingly called for help, which, as usual, made her laugh. “Jerk.” she grinned, hugging him tightly, cuddling closer to his side. “Yeah. I’ve been called that a lot.”

#house md #gregory house #gregory house x reader #gregory house imagine #gregory house x oc #james wilson #lisa cuddy #katrina black #robert chase #allison cameron #eric foreman #house md x reader #house md imagine

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inadaydream99 · 4 years

Note

Heyy~~ i hope ur doing well~ i was wondering if u could write sth abt Sangyeon from The Boyz reading their crush's diary since u said ur opening ur requests~ have a great day~

Hey! Thanks for the request 😊 Got really carried away with this, so it’s a lot longer than I intended it to be but I hope you enjoy!

A Diary and A Plan

———————————————————————

Sangyeon didn’t mean to blush everytime he made accidental eye contact with you, he didn’t mean to grow shy whenever you spoke to him, or feel all jittery inside when you brushed past him casually. But he did. And his crush on you had only grown since he stumbled upon your diary a few months back. His curiosity got the best of him that day and he cursed himself for not so accidentally reading your private thoughts ever since.

He was surprised to say the least, not once had he ever suspected your feelings towards him. He didn’t think he would ever have a chance with you. But even though he knew how you felt , he was still too shy to confess to you.

“Sangyeon!” The gentle waving of your hand in front of his face snaps him out of his daydream. Suddenly very aware that he had zoned out and that twelve pairs of eyes were now all focused on him, including yours.

“Sorry?” Is all he manages out, confusion written across his face from trying to register what he has missed.

“I asked you if you could pass the remote but you were off in your own world.” You chuckle, shooting him an amused smirk. Your tone is slightly mocking, a cheeky air surrounding you. Before he would have brushed it off as being playfull, just like any of the other guys would have done, but now he can’t help but notice the sparkle in your eye and the flirty glance you send him as you reach over him to take the remote from the table at his side.

His eyes dart around the room, relaxing a little when he realises that the attention is no longer on him, everyone else easing back into their own conversations. Trying his best to hide how flustered you made him, he let out the breath he was holding in and tried not to think too deeply about how your body was practically pressed against his. So caught up in his thoughts once again, he doesn’t get a chance to respond before you have retrieved what you had set out to get and made your way back over to sitting inbetween Younghoon and Changmin.

“What’s that smirk for, you look very pleased with yourself.” Changmin quietly questions, leaning into you a little in order to keep your conversation hushed. He was aware of your actions, knowing about your crush on Sangyeon for a while, he just can’t pass up an opportunity to tease you about it.

“I have no idea what you’re on about.” You play coy, lightly nudging him away with your elbow which makes him snicker, shaking his head at your responce.

You laugh under your breath, discretely casting a glance over to Sangyeon before settling into the sofa as everyone quiets down and Juyeon starts the movie.

“That was so not scary.” You scoff as Changmin boasts about how he enjoyed the movie. Of course it’s no secret he loves horror. You could hear him laughing throughout when everyone else was screaming and covering their eyes from all the jump scares. You had even resorted to burying your face into Yonghoon’s chest at one point.

“Just because you are deranged and immune to scary films.” You burst into laughter at Sangyeon’s sarcastic remark, watching the proud look on his face as you make eye contact with him.

Changmin rolls his eyes in responce, sliding a soda can across the kitchen counter to you before opening his own.

“You know I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight.” You joke, though you do truly mean it. You aren’t the best when it comes to watching something scary, you’re more of a romcom kind of person.

“Well, my door is always open if you need some comfort.” Sangyeon winks, having a moment of confidence, before casually standing up and leaving the kitchen.

Throughout the film he couldn’t stop thinking about your flirting. He’d even noticed you kept glancing his way every so often, checking to see if he was paying you any attention. Of course he was, he’s completely mesmerised by you, but he’s gotten very good at hiding it. He’d come to the conclusion that he was gonna have a try at being more obvious with his flirting, testing the boundaries a little.

You turn to Changmin with a look of shock, mouth slightly agape as he stifles his laughter.

“Where did that come from!” Your wide eyes convey your surprise at Sangyeon’s forwardness. He wasn’t typically one to be so obvious with his flirting, especially making a comment at you like that. And you instantly become suspicious. Eyes narrowing in on Changmin seconds later.

“Don’t look at me! I haven’t said a word.” His hands raise in defence, sensing your accusation towards him.

“Well why else would he say something like that to me?” You sass.

“Maybe he read your diary.” You gasp in realisation. Although Changmin was joking he notices your shock, the cogs turning in his head until he reaches the same conclusion you have.

“He’s read your diary!” His voice is muffled by your hand reaching across the kitchen island and covering his mouth just in time.

“Shhh! We don’t know that for sure, he doesn’t even know I keep a dairy.” You reason, mostly trying to rationalise the idea yourself.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.” A devious smirk consumes Changmin’s face which you find a little frightening.

“And what’s that?” You press for more, though you are unsure if you really want to find out what he’s planning.

“If you want to find out if he has read your diary then we need to catch him in the act.” Changmin deviously raises a brow. You honestly have no idea how he can manage to go from looking so cute and innocent to like a criminal mastermind in mere seconds.

“I’m listening.” Your unsure tone conveys your reluctance but Changmin leans in closer to inform you of his plan anyway.

“Can one of you do me a favour?” Changmin rushes into the living room looking a little stressed. Hyunjae and Sunwoo barely acknowledge him, both of them too engrossed in watching some video together.

“Sure, what do you need?” Sangyeon responds first, placing his phone down to give the younger his full attention.

“I need you to comfort (Y/N) for a second while I run to get a first aid kit?” Changmin’s guilty eyes make a flush of worry shoot through Sangyeon, believing his panicked state.

“Of course!” Sangyeon springs up from the sofa, heading towards the bathroom where he finds you holding your ankle.

“Woah what happened?” Your pain stricken eyes meet Sangyeon’s concerned ones, whincing when you make an attempt to move and let out a hiss in responce.

“Changmin bet me that I couldn’t beat him in a race and I twisted my ankle.” Your bottom lip quivers, acting as best as you can to make sure it’s believable you are hurt.

“Ok, well is there anything I can to do make you feel better?” He softly speaks, kneeling down next to you as you sit uncomfortably on the floor. You almost feel bad for tricking him like this as you watch him gently hold your hand in an attempt to provide some reassurance.

“Could you please get my phone, I left it in Changmin’s room.” You timidly look at Sangyeon through your lashes, feeling shy from his intense gaze.

You had set up your phone so it was placed next to your bag, positioning your diary at the very top so it couldn’t be missed. You’d even left it slightly open so some of your notes can be seen. If Sangyeon has really read your diary then this would be too hard for him to resist.

He silently nods, letting go of your hand as he stands up and leaves the room. You wait a few seconds before getting up and carefully following him to Changmin’s room.

Peaking around the corner your mouth falls wide when you see him staring at your diary. You can see the inner conflict on his face as he contemplates picking it up and when he does you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Is that my diary?” You act on impulse, catching Sangyeon off guard.

“(Y/N)! I didn’t mean to- it was just...” Sangyeon fumbles over excuses before falling silent, a defeated sigh escaping his lips as he places down your diary and gains enough courage to look at you directly.

“I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t resist.” He continues, a guilty look coulding his features as he awkwardly stands facing you.

“Is this the first time you’ve done this?” You softly speak, trying to keep calm on the outside although on the inside you are freaking out. If he has read your diary before then Changmin was right and it also means he knows about your feelings for him.

“Not exactly... though the first time was purely an anxident!” His eyes grow wide, shaking his head lightly. “That’s why I have been more forward with you lately, I’m guessing you were suspicious cause your ankle is suddenly completely fine again.” He chuckles, trying to create a more lighthearted atmosphere.

“Oh, yeah... it was Changmin’s idea.” You giggle, looking at your feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You only look up again when you feel his presence in front of you, his hand reaching out and carefully intertwining your fingers together.

“You know it’s sometimes freaky how quick he is with things like this.” He chuckles, his amused smirk awakening a flutter of nerves in your stomach. “But maybe it’s because he saw that we were both too scared to make a move.” You can feel his breath fan against your face, now only inches apart from each other.

“And you are very welcome.” The moment is disrupted by Changmin’s head poking around the corner, evidently listening to his plan unfold. You turn to face him briefly, rolling your eyes before he disappears again.

Unbeknownst to both you and Sangyeon this wasn’t even the whole plan. Changmin had been trying to get you to confess for months, he was even the one who initially set up your diary so Sangyeon would stumble across it and give it a read. And although he succeeded in getting him to read it, he still failed to get Sangyeon to confess.

“Would it be ok if I took you on a date sometime?” Sangyeon asked, his nervousness melting away when he sees a wide smile spread across your lips.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You nod, his smile making you feel all warm inside. And in that moment you feel glad that Sangyeon read your diary after all.

#the boyz oneshots #the boyz drabbles #the boyz fluff #the boyz requests #the boyz sangyeon #the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop requests #kpop x reader #kpop oneshots #kpop drabbles #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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straynstay · 4 years

Text

Astronaut theory

first of all, I am confusion lol

SKZ broke me in a way that my mind is overthinking so many things that now I believe that anything from their MVs might be a sign. And may I add that Chan's recent live only made me even more confused PLS BOY IF YOU SEE THIS DROP THE THEORY YOU SAID WAS QUITE CLOSE TO THE TRUTH cause I'm nearly losing my mind, I need answers!!!!

so here I am again trying to understand their concept and trust me, it's not easy or short and I don't even know if it's right which makes me even more frustrated... also, we may have lost some important pieces to connect the whole story bc we don't know what was taken from the original MV with ot9, so yeah…

anyways... let me put a guide for you guys cause I'm not gonna write the title of the songs all the time, so AS = Astronaut; DK = Double Knot; MH = Miroh; SE = Side Effects; VS = Victory Song; YW = Yellow Wood (teaser); D9 = District 9; IAY = I Am You

Alright, let’s go back to the beginning! In I Am Not teaser we see that each one has a specific function inside the system or is doing sth very particular, Felix is dancing in front of mirrors on a rooftop (where they always are on their MVs) with a building nearby that shows a sign with FAKE on it – clearly indicating that either Felix is fake or their reality is fake, or maybe both; Changbin is in a room full of TVs like MIA; Seungmin is drawing sth that looks like a map (but I guess it was supposed to be sth else?) but he’s also the one in charge of the maps in Double Knot; we have Hyunjin trying to control a VR system, he looks quite frustrated with it, and after Hyunjin removes the headset, we hear a sound similar to when a program is being interrupted on tv and his image is frozen, probably bc he was disconnected from the main system.

and the most intriguing part: we have Jeongin in a bus – also sth reoccurring in their MVs – and he sees another Jeongin sitting on the bus stop, as if waiting for him. We all know by now that it’s a double, a clone, or whatever you may call it (like I mentioned previously on my Side Effects analysis that clearly shows they have ‘shadows’ like other selves copying their moves).

we don’t see what happens afterwards, but I’m gonna assume he finds out something is not right in the system and probably tells Chan (their leader) about it. Why I think this? Because in MIA they both sing the following lines: “Something is different, carefully look around you” (which is exactly what Chan does in D9) and “Something is changing, even if you hide it so hard, I can see it all” (which is what Jeongin does on the bus and also in Miroh, cause he’s the one in the control room, right?). But the thing is… I believe that the fake Jeongin is the one with SKZ in District 9. The double took his place after he got off the bus and is acting like Jeongin would, helping SKZ and all, but his line “better watch out” shows sth different, it seems somehow too menacing, almost like a threat – at least to me. So SKZ better watch out now cause there’s a fake among them, but SKZ is unaware

moving on.. it’s also in MIA that we see SKZ being duplicated – it looks like it can’t be helped. We know for sure that there’s a double for Chan, Woojin and Felix. In the MV it seems like Hyunjin also has a double that is watching himself from the other side of the door while the one inside the room says “Why are you staring at me again?” and then we see a surveillance camera (they’re onto Hyunjin, but Hyunjin seems to notice it).

this may seem dumb, but Changbin is duplicated in Get Cool (and like I said, any evidence is evidence lol). I don’t remember seeing Jisung, Seungmin and Minho being duplicated in any MV, and isn’t it weird that they’re the ones we see on the cage in AS?

in My Pace we have seven numbers shown behind them when they’re dancing: 137, 163, 191, 223, 241, 271 and 307. I thought they wouldn’t put this randomly so I searched what these number might mean and I found that they’re prime numbers (as you know, prime numbers can only be divided by themselves), and that prime numbers are very useful for creating keys to decrypt data by hackers. So I thought… what if Jeongin and Chan were trying to decrypt the system in order to mess with it but they need a key and Hyunjin was the key? And after DK happened, they managed to create glitches even more powerful than before? (like I explained in my theory).

anyways… moving on to Astronaut. ASTRONAUT = a person who is trained to travel in a spacecraft. But what if in SKZ concept an Astronaut is someone trained to travel their realities? And as we can see in I Am Not, Hyunjin is the one being trained in the VR apparatus.

also, he’s the one with an airplane behind him in Victory Song (and by now I think every little thing in these MVs are clues, sorry)

so what I take from this is that Hyunjin is like the tester of the realities they’ll have to face in order to escape District 9, like he is on a trial mode, if that makes any sense…

in the Astronaut MV, as we all noticed, we have some references from past MVs such as I Am You (the spinning thing); Victory Song (the red flares Chan & Jeongin are holding); Miroh (the boxes); Side Effects (the cart) and Chronosaurus (the plastics)

it’s interesting that Jeongin and Chan are the ones together when the music begins and I think this might mean sth because they’re always referenced as one, like in IAY; and Chan in AS is probably talking to MH’s Jeongin, because if they know what’s happening in the system, they might be able to keep in touch with each other even from different realities – but this is just me speculating too much!

in the MV we see 3 orbs: the 1st one is blueish with a green center; the 2nd is dark blueish/purple with a yellow center, and the last one is transparent with a black center.

so I googled those orb colors and found out that the first one may signify communication, neutrality, healing – might be applied to a master/guide; the second one may signify caution, insight, notice; while the last one may signify insecurity, being trapped or tortured. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I put it in here bc I strongly believe that these orbs represent Chan, Hyunjin and Jeongin, since they’re the ones that seem to be the focus of this storyline (and the color scheme of the scenes the orbs appear reminded me of IAY, 19 and SE)

going back to the AS MV, we also see Felix glitching like he did in MH and I was able to see in the background glasses being smashed, lightening, buildings, a road and a bridge, storm, moon, etc., and these are all elements that are present in their MVs, like showing what they already faced so far.

the cage scene made me think of District 9. When we first see it, Jeongin is the only one inside, but then we also see Han, Minho, Seungmin with him – and they’re slightly glitching, btw.

some other things happen to Hyunjin, he keeps on running, and now he’s outside on a dark road with a storm coming up – which reminded me of SE a lot, especially because of the two moons -, but he seems quite peaceful facing all those terrifying elements

he runs towards the end of the road that he can’t even see what’s waiting for him there – but maybe it’s because he already knows what happens next.

Hyunjin finds Chan in front of a door (maybe the exit?) and they all go through – to me it looks like Felix is the one about to close it, like he did with the gate in D9. Chan then shoots sth towards the sky like he did in VS (which caused a storm), but here it only makes a beam of light appear for them – as if they’re asking to go up? Like ‘beam me up Scotty’? you guys know this Star Trek reference, right? lol

and now we see the sky, but we don’t have two moons… I know it’s probably bc it’s morning, but in SE it was also morning and we saw two moons, so I’m assuming Hyunjin was able to find the finish line of the VR simulation (because I’m assuming that everything with the two moons is actually the VR)

at the end, we see Jeongin walking to the spinning thing like a glitch – like Chan also did when he went to the door, as if teleporting from here to there – and he’s alone, probably left behind. But why would SKZ leave him behind? Probably because they didn’t know he was there...

alright, so what does it all mean? I’m gonna try my best to comment everything and try to link the MVs with the lyrics to create a somewhat decent storyline.

on the released picture of the AS track list, this is what is written (it’s a rough translation, so I’m sorry if it’s wrong): “when we were happy together, we could do anything, where we chatted and laughed carelessly until dawn. Suddenly, I saw a bead… what is it? As soon as I got close, I heard a strange sound. At the end of the sound was a faint mixture of familiar voices calling my name. Without thinking, I started getting drawn by the sound”

To me, the first part means the I Am You setting. They were all happy after being free, they created their own world where they could do anything as long as they were together. In AS we see Hyunjin in this same environment and that’s also when the first orb appears. Hyunjin is attracted by the orb that could possibly be SKZ’s way to communicate with him inside the VR. Because remember, Hyunjin is there but what he’s seeing and experiencing is not real. He’s testing the ways out for SKZ. But he was so happy in that reality that he lost himself, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore. And SKZ sent something to guide him out of this fake environment as we see in AS. He then started his journey back to where the real SKZ are, going through all the tokens from the realities he’s been through (like the boxes with the confusing mazes, but that are easily destroyed bc is not real; the cart from SE, the gate from D9, etc…). What also gives him hints is how the members start to act after he begins his running in AS. After he destroys the boxes, Felix is standing there like a heroic figure, glitching with Changbin, looking almost unapproachable or as if he can’t see him. we see Chan on the floor, so Chan is probably grounded like Hyunjin.

then he sees his friends trapped inside a cage. But the thing is that this cage is really ridiculous, any of them could climb or help the other to get out of there, so I think they’re trapped bc they’re not real, it’s all a simulation, – except for Jeongin, but I’ll get to this point later on, hold on!! – and this cage represents D9.

Hyunjin runs endlessly until he reaches the road I mentioned already, and he finds Chan, they all go through the door (how could they if four of them were trapped? unless nothing of that is real) and they are all dressed in white, like when they escaped D9, dancing happily on the rooftop.

to me, after Jeongin got off the bus he realized the system’s plan and told Chan (their leader), and they came up with ideas to escape, but they needed someone that could control the reality, and Hyunjin was being trained for it – although he was frustrated with it - so they asked him to go unlocking worlds (or roads, or whatever) and he did it, but as farther he went, he started getting lost in the system bc he didn’t know who he was anymore, was he a clone already? What he’s seeing is reality or virtual reality? What’s the truth, what’s the answer?

Chan and Jeongin were able to guide Hyunjin throughout the MVs to continue with their plan, but Hyunjin’s mind was starting to lose itself, although he had a feeling that something seemed off… And Astronaut is nothing more than a recap of all what they’ve been through and Hyunjin’s journey to the unknown in order to find SKZ again and help them escape.

so what about that last scene with Jeongin? Well, I think the Jeongin in white clothes with them at the end is not the real Jeongin, and the Jeongin we see sitting alone is in fact the real one that is trapped inside the VR. Chan was guiding Hyunjin but lost Jeongin in the meantime and didn’t realize it or Chan knows it and is also a clone anything is possible, because to me the Jeongin we see in their MVs isn’t the real Jeongin since D9, like I said in the beginning of this analysis. Maybe the reason Seungmin and Minho were found on DK by the drone is bc Jeongin was with them and he’s part of the system? The others weren’t seen except for these three. I also believe this hypothesis because the gate in AS represents D9 and Jeongin is the only one moving after Hyunjin leaves, probably showing that the real one was lost in D9, but since there can’t be two “Jeongins” in a same place, he needs to wait for them to realize that they’re dealing with a fake one and come back for him.

alright, to summarize this huge analysis...

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED DIDN’T HAPPEN!! HYUNJIN WAS DECRYPTING AND TESTING THE REALITIES (IN THE VR THING) THEY HAVE TO FACE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE AND OVERTHROW THE SYSTEM AND NOW THAT HE’S FINISHED THE TRIALS HE’S BACK TO DISTRICT 9 AND CAN SHOW SKZ THE RIGHT PATHS TO FOLLOW BUT HE DIDN’T REALISE THAT THE REAL JEONGIN IS TRAPPED INSIDE THE VR AND HE LEFT HIM BEHIND AND NOW SKZ WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO GET HIM OUT OMGGG I CANT ANYMORE

how else would we explain Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chan’s hairstyle looking almost the same as the one they had in D9?

some other thoughts I had: what if they’re duplicating themselves to leave the clones on the system so the real ones can escape?

ASTRONAUT also has 9 letters... this might mean something?

why is Chan singing all the time “I’m not me” in the background of Mirror? can he be trusted? I’m still not sure about Chan’s role in all of this bc he seems shady like Jeongin lol sorry Chan

from the Victory Song unveil track we have Chan saying this “we are Stray Kids, the owners of Clé. Roll the dice. Our beginning is District 9. We break the frame, escape from the system, and go beyond the fixed line towards STAY. We came to listen to Victory Song. So ring the 승전가”. Isn’t it weird that he says “break, escape, go” instead of “broke, escaped, went” ?? he only says “we came” bc the question is about their entrance in Miroh and Victory Song is after it, but if everything else also happens after D9, shouldn’t the other verbs be on the past tense too?

in Chronosaurus we see someone picking up three keys from the floor and I’m pretty sure it’s Jeongin.

one key for each – Chan, Hyunjin and him. But what can they do with the keys? I thought that maybe they could go spread themselves through the realities these keys unlock and place signs for them so they don’t get lost or forget about what they’re doing, like easter eggs? there are some black balloons on SE that reminded me of 19

in TMT there’s a billboard that Chan sees saying “do what you wanna do” (a message he left for himself there? and look at the background, it’s the space)

and what about Hyunjin? I’m not sure, but maybe the scene where we see him laying on the grass at the end of SE is actually because he just arrived in that reality and lost the key of that reality on that weird pond??? is the easter egg in SE himself??? I still think it’s weird the way Jeongin looks at him and smiles brightly in this scene lol

this is just what I was able to put together, but I still have a lot of questions and a lot of concerns, but unless Chan spills the tea I don’t care if it’s hot we’ll stay clueless about all of this lol

and he says we’re not clowns… right…

#stray kids #skz #stray kids theories #astronaut #stray kids astronaut #skz astronaut #stray kids comeback #skz comeback #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han jisung #felix #seungmin #jeongin #stray kids reactions

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mobius-prime · 4 years

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138. Sonic Super Special #11 - Girls Rule!

Are you ready? We have not a two, not a three or four, but a five parter this time 'round! This special contains five stories each following a different prominent Archie girl, and to be honest I find all of the stories pretty fascinating. Time to dive in!

Ascension

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Jim Valentino Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

So I've heard plenty of mixed opinions on this story. In it (it says it takes place just before StH#74, but I feel like it fits better before #73, actually), Sally strips down, and with Elias' blessing watching from the sidelines, wades her way into the Source of All to discover her own destiny.

The controversy comes from the "stripping down" part. Some people feel that this is totally inoffensive, that in the early days of the comic she didn't wear a vest at all and that since she's covered in fur, wearing no clothing is no more inappropriate for her than for Sonic, or Geoffrey, or Dulcy. After all, plenty of other Mobians, both male and female, have been depicted as essentially "naked" barring shoes and sometimes gloves, but it's not like this ever reveals anything objectionable. On the other hand, some people criticize Jim's art for this story, believing it to be too "sexualized," as it does undeniably seem to accentuate her figure with proportions that appear more human than traditionally Mobian, and in future reprints of this story, the artists went back and actually added her vest back in. That move in itself garnered its own criticism, considering the points I addressed before, as well as the fact that they colored her vest blue in all the scenes for some reason despite almost every scene being in sepia tone. Personally, I'm on the side of "it's not a big deal." I won't deny that her "nudity" seems to be emphasized somewhat by the art style, but I honestly don't see that as a problem. It doesn't look "sexualized" to me - instead, how it comes across is that she's being depicted as, well, obviously naked. Nakedness has been a symbol of innocence and vulnerability to us humans for basically as long as our species has existed, across almost every culture throughout our history, and even though taking off her vest and boots hardly exposes anything more than we've already seen on her before, the symbolism is clear - that by taking off her clothing for this venture, she's making herself more vulnerable and open to whatever she may find within the Source of All. Frankly, I think anyone seeing anything sexual within this issue is looking a little too hard, but I'm also of the mindset that nudity in and of itself isn't an inherently sexual thing, so your mileage may vary.

Anyway, as soon as Sally steps into the pool, she finds herself plunged into a series of visions. She first sees herself as a baby, with her mother, safe and healthy, watching over her.

The visions jump forward to her as a small child, walking through the palace gardens with Julayla during the days of the Great War. She asks why wars happen and people fight each other, and Julayla points out a (non-sapient) predator on a tree up ahead, which pounces on a (non-sapient) bird and eats it, the lesson being that in nature, violence is and will always be a part of life, and that right now, the Mobians are the bird and the Overlanders, the predator. Of course, we know that's not quite the case given that the war was deliberately manufactured, but Julayla didn't know that. Sally continues to walk through images from her life, wondering if this is what the Source of All is all about - showing pieces of one's past - but a voice assures her that there is more to it. An image of her father appears, saying that he wishes he could have kept her safe and let her live a happy and peaceful life with her brother and the rest of her family. She questions him why he never told her about Elias, and an image of Elias appears too, assuring her that their father didn't even know he was alive until recently, and that he only kept things from her to spare her any more pain. He notes that the king's actions were all born of love for Sally since she was the only family he had left, and that they should recognize this even if they disagree with his actions, and I think this is very true. I certainly think King Max made some very bad decisions along the way, but you could make the case that he was making those choices for the right reasons. Sally asks if this means he thinks their father is always right, and Elias and the garden melt away, to be replaced with a fantastic array of planets and stars spinning around Sally. An image of her own face, older and crowned with the jewels of a queen, materializes in the sky, informing her that her father, having bonded with the Source in the past, is able to sense the future through that connection. The face thrusts her into the most vivid vision yet - one of horror and destruction.

The vision ends before Sally can see if she and her children escape, or if Sonic survives, and she desperately asks the image of herself as the queen what becomes of them. The apparition tells her that the only way she can find out is if she commits to bonding with the Source - that it's "all or nothing" and if she rejects this chance now, she will have rejected it for good. Sally, upon hearing this, immediately walks away despite the face continuing to warn her of the finality of her decision, saying that she's not willing to know everything that is to come in order to become queen. And thus, she takes control of her own destiny, rejecting her birthright, and emerges from the pool.

I absolutely love this ending. In stark contrast to Knuckles, who is staunchly bound by tradition and his own birthright, Sally instead chooses to reject everything in order to forge her own path through life. It's one of the first times in the comic we've seen a character so entrenched in family tradition and destiny refuse to follow along with it, and I greatly admire her for it. I think this is a story where Penders absolutely did right by this character - it's a hard choice, and a real one, and yet in the end she seized control of her own fate regardless of what her father may think. In addition, this is the beginning of her and Elias really beginning to bond as siblings - after all, it seems like they came down here to the Source of their own volition, without the knowledge of their father - and I love the sibling bond they develop as the comic progresses. They really care for each other and always look after one another, and it's just so sweet. Good on you, Sally girl. You've done well.

Solo

Writer/Pencils: Ken Penders Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

Hershey and Geoffrey have snuck into Robotropolis on a mission - a mission too delicate for them to carry out together. Geoffrey acts as the lookout and backup as Hershey rappels her way down a wall and into the vent system of Robotnik's headquarters. Her target is a console containing vital information, but as luck would have it, Robotnik is standing directly between her and her objective.

Her words are apparently code for "please set off a gigantic explosion somewhere else in the city," but the plan doesn’t work quite as expected, as Robotnik merely orders some of his troops to go investigate the commotion. Hershey realizes she needs a distraction that's a bit closer, and sets off a small hand grenade through another part of the vents. Robotnik, hearing the noise, finally goes to investigate personally, and Hershey quickly drops down into the room to gather the information she needs from the console.

Well, that's unfortunate, but given that he sacrificed himself to save the others it's not entirely unexpected. Hershey, as revenge, decides to leave a small present behind for Robotnik, the present being an explosive that trips as soon as Robotnik walks back into the room. Take that, asshole!

Lupe and the Wolfpack: Family

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Colleen Doran Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

Hey, remember this arc? It's been many issues since we saw anything of Lupe and the gang, but they're finally back! They've finally reached the city they once called home, though it's run down and looks abandoned due to the war against Robotnik. It's actually unclear if they're aware of the renewal of the war, or if they've been too far removed from current events due to traveling. Everyone begins to express unease at being in the desolate city, feeling that there may be nothing left for them here, but Lupe insists that if her husband Lobo had had the people abandon the place by choice he would have left her a sign, and wants to search for it before committing to leaving. Before they can discuss the matter further, however, suddenly a gas grenade hits the ground in the middle of the group, and everyone is overcome and passes out. After an indeterminate amount of time, they wake back up, finding themselves imprisoned inside a building. They hear the sound of clanking footsteps down the hall, and initially believe it to be swatbots, but when the source of the noise rounds the corner…

Oh, it gets worse, Lupe! See, the person who captured and roboticized your family is none other than Uncle Chuck, having been enslaved by Robotnik once more. She's so enraged that she leaps forward, screaming at Chuck that he's a traitor and attempting to rip him to shreds, but as her clanmates hold her back Chuck threatens to dismantle her family members if she doesn't comply with hi orders. She reluctantly stops fighting, and is ushered compliantly into a roboticizer, where her own husband pushes the button to finish the deed. However, upon stepping out in her newly-robotic body, Chuck is shocked to see her suddenly rampage once more, smashing the machine and shoving her pack away from their captors, telling them to run. Somehow, she manages to hang on to her own sanity just long enough to save them, but her free will is fading fast, and so the pack has to leave her behind.

I remember when I first read this issue, I was so excited to see the return of Lupe, as I'd grown to like her as a character, and was just thinking to myself about how cool she was when this happened. Immediate devastation upon seeing the tombstone. Because, for all intents and purposes, being roboticized is a kind of death. There's only one known cure - a dedicated deroboticizer - and to be fair, those were only ever included in previous issues to further the immediate plot with no real regard for such a device's effect on the larger storyline. I highly doubt that the new Robotnik would keep such a device lying around considering how easily it could be used to topple his regime, and even if he did it would be under such tight guard there would be no way to access it anyway. So, for now, we say sayonara to poor Lupe - it's small comfort that in the end, in a sense, she was able to be with her family once more.

Upgrade

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: FRY Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

So Bunnie is having some unexpected problems. One day, she's lifting heavy objects with her cybernetic arm as per usual when she abruptly becomes dizzy and collapses.

She's rushed to Dr. Quack, who in turn immediately preps her for surgery to determine what's wrong. She comes to later in the hospital with her friends surrounding her, worried for her wellbeing, but Dr. Quack enters and makes everyone clear out so he can have a private discussion with Bunnie. He has some very bad news - it turns out that her central nervous system is beginning to reject her cybernetic parts, and that if something isn't done about the situation, said parts could become toxic to her organic body, slowly killing her. He says that he's surprised nothing has gone wrong sooner, and honestly, I'm inclined to agree with him - after all, unlike other characters with cybernetic parts such as Julie-Su, hers weren't even meant to be attached to an organic body in the first place, since she's the fairly unique product of a roboticization process that was interrupted halfway through. Bunnie, horrified at this news, asks Dr. Quack what her options are, and he lays it out for her.

She could simply disconnect her bionic limbs, essentially becoming a triple amputee. She could get a hardware upgrade with custom parts, which would eliminate the risk to her health but make it impossible to ever be deroboticized in the future. Or, she could chance a deroboticization process right now (likely with the same machine used in the Mecha Madness special way back when), but her chances of survival in such a case would be low due to all the modifications that have already been made to her bionic parts. She asks tearfully to be left for a while to consider her options, sobbing quietly in the dark once the doctor leaves her be, and soon Antoine walks in to check on her. She simply asks him if he could continue to love her if she stayed half-cybernetic forever, and he reassures her that he will continue to love her no matter what she looks like or what she's made of, prompting her to tearfully hug him and tell him he's the best friend she's ever had. It's very sweet, especially as we've seen these two grow closer and closer over time, going from mere teammates, to friends, and eventually to lovers. The upgrade begins a few days later, with Nate in charge of the proceedings, and soon she's standing and testing out her new gear.

I have to say, this redesign was sorely needed. Her new limbs look sleeker and more modern, and overall compliment her looks far more than the old bulky design ever did. As she says - she's better than ever, and I'm excited to see how she puts her new getup to use in the future!

Shadows

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Patrick Spaziante Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

This is perhaps the least exciting of the five stories, but it gives some crucial backstory to Julie-Su and some other prominent echidnas. Apparently, something has been bothering Julie-Su for some time now, and she's finally decided to head out and get some answers. And so, she heads back to her old home - the fortress that had been hidden underground where she first saw Knuckles escaping while she was still a member of the Legion. She wanders the derelict halls, lost in memories of her old routines there, including how Kragok and the Kommissar always seemed to be keeping an extra close eye on her. In the midst of reminiscing, she suddenly hears noises as though someone is also exploring the ruins. She creeps over to where the noises are from, and soon finds herself training her gun on an elderly echidna made more out of cybernetic parts and wrinkles than ordinary flesh and blood. To her shock, he immediately recognizes her, introducing himself as Simon and claiming that he and his wife Floren-Ca raised her as their own daughter and he'd been looking for her for a long time.

In case it isn't clear, Lien-Da is the Kommissar that we've seen before, and one of my favorite villains in the comic. We get into some meaty backstory here which I'll try to summarize as best I can. Essentially, when Kragok and Lien-Da were eight, the Dark Legion hopped through the portal from the Twilight Zone back into Mobius Prime, but doing so quickly made Merin-Da sick, and despite Luger's attempts to restore her to health by taking the Legion back through the portal, she died of her illness. Luger took a couple of years to recover, but eventually remarried to another woman, Mari-Su, with whom he had another child - Julie-Su. Kragok and Lien-Da, now seventeen, were intensely jealous, viewing their father's new wife and child as a threat to their own ambitions. They arranged for Mari-Su to meet her end in a tragic accident, and a despondent Luger handed Julie-Su off to Floren-Ca to raise.

Well, that's messed up. Julie-Su asks why she doesn't remember any of this and Simon says he suspects that after a while, when she was old enough to join the Legion's ranks directly, they performed another mind wipe on her. After the Legion opened the portal a second time, he took Floren-Ca through and they settled on the Floating Island, away from the Legion. However, now that he's found Julie-Su, he wants to take her back to see Floren-Ca once again, and Julie-Su eagerly agrees. Strangely enough, however, this encounter is never explored in subsequent issues, and in fact Simon and Floren-Ca aren't even brought up again until much later. It's a bit bizarre given how this is kind of built up to be a big reveal about Julie-Su's until-recently-unknown past, so unknown in fact that even she herself didn't know anything about it, but all we can assume is that she just went with Simon and met up with Floren-Ca and they had a nice happy reunion and then she went back to her normal business afterwards, because no one really mentions it again. Ah well!

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sonic super special 11 #writer: ken penders #pencils: jim valentino #pencils: ken penders #pencils: colleen doran #pencils: james fry #pencils: pat spaziante #colors: joshua d ray #colors: aimee r ray

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empyreanwritings · 5 years

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Second Chances

Pairing: Tony Stark x mutant!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: mentions of miscarriages, angst central (ends fluffy tho, i swear)

Request: Hi! Could you write a fic with Tony x reader? It can be a little angsty but fluffy at the end ? Maybe reader being pregnant or sth?

A/N: I wasn’t sure where I was going to go with this at first, but I’m very happy with where it went. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for requesting, I hope you like it! Please let me know what y’all think (:

The look on Bruce's face when he walked into the exam room told you everything you needed to know. It was a look you had seen twice before already. He pushed his glasses to the top of his head and took a seat in front of you. You didn't want to meet his gaze; you didn't want to see the regret and worry that filled his eyes. It would only make you feel worse.

"Y/N-"

"I know," you whispered.

The first miscarriage happened when you were sixteen weeks along. You and Tony had already started decorating the nursery for your baby girl. Both of you thought that it had been the stress from going on missions, so when you decided to try again, you took a few months leave. And then you were ten weeks along when the second one happened. Despite Bruce running every test possible, he had no idea what was causing it. Your hormones were level. You were stress-free, for the most part. Not knowing had hit you harder emotionally than you thought it would.

You didn't know you were pregnant this time around. From the cramping you felt, you thought it was just your period showing up early. But the alarms went off in your head, and something told you to go see Bruce. There had been too much blood - too much pain - for it to be normal.

He didn't have to say anything this time because you knew. Complete miscarriage. It would be your third one within the last two years. You weren't sure if you could be sad about this one since you weren't attached to the idea of being pregnant yet, but you couldn't stop the dread from forming a pit in your stomach.

"I know this might not be what you want to hear, but I think I've figured out what may be causing the miscarriages."

Bruce flipped through the file in his lap and looked up at you expectedly. He wasn't going to tell you unless he knew you were ready to hear it. You gave him a curt nod, signaling him to continue. After everything you've been through, it couldn't possibly get worse.

"I went over the ultrasound we did when you had the second miscarriage. It looks like your gynecologist missed something." He handed you a picture from the ultrasound, but you had no idea what you were looking at. "There's scarring on your ovaries and your uterus. The damage is severe, and it's a miracle you managed to get pregnant in the first place. Three times is even more surprising."

You chewed on your bottom lip. You didn't like where this was going.

"The scarring is-" Bruce paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "The scarring is congruent with radiation treatments."

You squeezed your eyes tightly and shook your head. You were wrong, it got worse. So much worse.

You were eighteen when you and your sorority sisters got mixed up with a group that promised to give you abilities beyond your wildest dreams. You thought it was a hoax, but you went along with it anyways. If your friends were going to do it then you figured you might as well too. Five hundred dollars and three radiation treatments later, you were granted with the gift of electricity manipulation. None of you should have gone through with it. It had been dangerous, and some of you didn't make it out alive.

"So, you're telling me that because of a dumb decision I made when I was eighteen, I can't have kids? I have to go home and tell my husband when he returns from saving another country that I am the sole reason he cannot have a child." You sniffled. It was your fault. All this grief and false hope happened because of you.

Bruce tried to stop you from walking out of the room, but you pushed him to the side and darted out. You couldn't breathe. It was all your fault, and you'd have to be the one to break the news to Tony. Tears poured from your eyes as you thought about what his reaction would be. What if he hated you? What if he didn't want to be with you anymore? You couldn't blame him if he chose to leave. He deserved to be with someone who could give him everything he wanted.

Someone who wasn't broken.

---

You weren't ready to go back home yet, so you took the long route there. You found yourself stopping at the park that was only a block away from your building. It wasn't a large park, but it had a charm to it that a lot of people admired. All it had was a couple of benches, a swing set, and a metal merry-go-round. You didn't think merry-go-rounds like that still existed, but you had always told Tony it was going to be fun to play with your future kids on it.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. You felt lost. You had no idea what you were going to do with your life now. You had a plan and didn't think you needed a back-up one until now.

You wiped at a stray tear that managed to fall and sighed. You hated crying, but it felt like that was all you did these past two years.

"Thought I'd find you here." You turned your head to see Nat standing next to you. You hadn't heard her walk up because you were so wrapped up in your thoughts. "Bruce called. He told me that you might need someone to keep you company until Tony returned from the mission."

"He told you, didn't he?" You mumbled.

She nodded and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, and it's not your fault."

"But it is, Tasha! If I never did the radiation to trigger my underlying mutant abilities, I'd be able to have kids."

"And if you never had your mutant abilities, you never would have joined S.H.I.E.L.D. You never would have met Tony and fallen in love with each other. You can't believe that this is your fault because of one decision that did a lot of good for you."

She wasn't surprised when you didn't respond. You didn't want to believe her, but you knew her statement held some truth. Meeting Tony had been a whirlwind of a time. You had met him just after the Chitauri attack on New York. He struggled to cope with everything that happened, and you helped him through it. Well, you helped him with what you could anyways. He had a lot of internal battles he needed to figure out for himself.

When he got better, he asked you out to dinner to say thank you. Dinner had gone a lot better than you both expected, and he insisted you keep seeing each other. You almost said no because he seemed a little too confident in his ability to woo you, but you ended up agreeing anyways.

Part of you couldn't believe five years had passed since that first date.

"What am I going to do now, Tasha?" You whimpered. "What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore? He's talked about having kids for the past two years. The more we struggle, the more it affects him. I can't disappoint him with this."

Nat rubbed her hand along your arm and rested her head on top of yours. "I think you're underestimating how much Tony cares about you."

You shrugged and looked over at a toddler who was playing with a remote-controlled car. He started wailing because the batteries died, and it wouldn't drive anymore. His mother tried to comfort him and promised to buy new batteries tomorrow, but he didn't stop crying. You sent a small jolt of electricity towards the toy and watched it come back to life. The little boy gasped, which brought a smile to your face.

The smile didn't last long, though. You started to think about all of your lost opportunities, and it had slipped right off your face.

Nat looked between you and the toddler and let out a frustrated breath. There was nothing she could say right now that would make you stop wallowing. You had every right to be upset. Your whole life had been turned upside just a few hours ago, and she knew that you'd be hurt for a while. All she could do was offer a shoulder to cry on and try to distract you.

"Why don't we get some food? I think we both deserve to cheat on our Avenger diets and eat a pizza," Nat suggested.

You managed a small laugh. "That sounds good."

It really did sound good. You couldn't remember the last time you had eaten pizza.

You invited Nat back to your penthouse apartment. She ordered a large pizza to split between the two of you while you searched for a movie to watch. It was silly to think that a girl's night would help clear your head from the thoughts plaguing your mind, but it was worth a shot. You didn't want to send Nat away and be alone for the next few hours. Being alone was never a good thing when you were upset.

You held up two DVD cases and turned to face Nat. She already made herself comfortable on you couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table. You were torn between watching The Shining and Pet Sematary and needed a second opinion. You were in no mood to watch sappy chick flicks tonight. You needed some horror to balance out your feelings.

Nat pointed at The Shining, and you nodded. It was definitely a good night to watch The Shining.

You plopped down on the couch next to her and placed your head on her shoulder as the movie started. The pizza wouldn't be here for another hour, if you were lucky, so you didn't hesitate to get comfy. Nat pulled the blanket over the both of you but stayed quiet. You were thankful she didn't push talking about what happened. You didn't want to think about it. Not until Tony got home.

There was going to be a lot to talk about then.

---

Tony stepped into the apartment, surprised at the silence that greeted him. He walked towards the living room and smiled when he saw you curled up on the couch fast asleep. He moved to turn off the TV when Nat emerged from the kitchen, an empty pizza box in her hand. Tony jumped in surprise when he saw her.

"You know, I'm starting to feel bad for Bruce. You spend more time here with my wife than you do with him," Tony observed. "If you're looking for a threesome kind of experience, you should know that I'm not at flexible as I used to be. I'd hate to disappoint you."

Nat rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. If I wanted to sleep with your wife, I wouldn't want you in the middle of it."

"I'm going to choose to ignore that comment."

Tony walked past Nat and headed into the kitchen to grab a drink. He motioned for her to follow him, which she did. He had a feeling there was a reason she was here, and by the grave look on her face, he knew it wasn't just for a girl's night. He wanted to make sure their chatter didn't wake you up.

You rarely slept lately, and you didn't think he noticed, but he did. He wasn't about to ruin your chance to get a few hours in before he brought you to bed.

"To what do I owe the visit, Romanoff?" He grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped the top off. He offered one to Nat, but she declined.

"She had another miscarriage, Tony."

He stared at the bottle in his hand, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"But she-"

"She was only a few weeks along this time. Neither of you knew about it."

His stomach twisted, and he wasn't in the mood to drink anymore. He placed his hands on the counter, trying to steady himself as he processed what Nat told him. Why hadn't you called him? You had to have known he would have abandoned his mission and come home right away. He should have been there for you during this time. Not Bruce. Not Nat. It should have been him.

He didn't know the extent of what the miscarriages could do to your body, but he had a feeling it wasn't healthy to experience three within two years. You refused to talk about it with him. You assured him that you were fine, and you were ready to keep trying for a baby. You didn’t think he noticed the changes in you, but he did. You looked exhausted. You were always nauseous. No matter how many times you swore you were healthy, he never believed you.

If you kept pushing to have a baby, he worried it would kill you. Maybe thinking that was just paranoia eating at him, but he didn't want to risk anything. He couldn't lose you.

"Do we know why this keeps happening?" Nat looked down at her hands. She didn't want to tell him before you did, but she knew you were terrified of Tony's reaction. "If you know something, please tell me."

"Bruce found scarring on her uterus that was overlooked during her last miscarriage. He said it was a miracle that she even got pregnant and kept a baby for as long as sixteen weeks." She reached over and gently placed her hand on top of his. "She's blaming herself, Tony. The scarring is from radiation exposure."

He cleared his throat and stepped back from Nat's touch. His mind was reeling from this new information, but he was more concerned for you. He knew how your mind worked. As soon as Bruce told you about the scarring, you must have hated yourself. He understood why you didn't call now. You hadn't been ready to face him. You thought he was going to hate you.

After everything you two have been through, he could never hate you. Not in a million years.

He thanked Nat for telling him and excused himself from the kitchen. He didn't bother with saying goodbye - she knew when to take her leave. The only thing he wanted to focus on right now was you.

He had a plan. He just needed time to get everything together.

---

You woke up feeling confused. All remnants of Nat being there earlier had disappeared. In fact, the living room was more spotless than it had been before you fell asleep. You folded the blanket and placed it on the back of the couch. There was no way Nat was still here, but you wondered if Tony had come home yet. And if he had, why hadn't he woken you up?

Your heart hammered in your chest. The idea that Bruce called Tony during his mission had you frozen in front of your bedroom door. You should have called him immediately after you found out the news. If he found out from someone else, you couldn't imagine how upset it made him.

When you opened the door, you saw Tony sitting on the edge of the bed. You noticed a small stack of papers in his hands, and your heart dropped. Divorce papers. They had to be divorce papers because what else could they be? You bit down on your lip until you tasted blood. You couldn't cry in front of him. You had to be strong. You had to listen to what he had to say and accept whatever decision he had made.

You didn't blame him. You couldn't.

"Hi," you greeted weakly. You hated how your voice betrayed your calm exterior.

Tony looked up at you, a soft smile on his face. He placed the stack of papers on the bed next to him, and he patted his lap. You hesitated a moment before stepping over to him. You straddled his thighs and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep you steady. You couldn't bring yourself to look at the papers. You weren't ready to know the truth.

"I know about the miscarriage." Your head dropped at his words, but he tapped under your chin to get you to look back up at him. "I wish you would have called me. I should have been here for you. I know I'm not a sexy red-head who gives great advice, but I'd like to think I'm somewhat decent at comforting you."

You chuckled and hid your face in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my-"

"Ah, ah! No, I don't want to hear you say that it's your fault. None of this is your fault, do you understand?"

"But-"

"I'm sorry, it sounds like you're trying to argue with me. I thought we agreed, I'm only ever wrong when I agree that I am."

You rolled your eyes. Somehow, even with his usual snarky self, he still knew the right thing to say to make you feel better. You thought he would hate you, but you should have given him more credit. He stuck around after two miscarriages. A third wasn't going to magically make him stop loving you. You'd never admit it out loud, but Nat had been right. You underestimated how much he cared for you.

"I love you," you mumbled against his skin. "I love you so much."

Tony rubbed his hands up and down your back, and you instantly relaxed at his touch. You spent so much of your day panicking and hating yourself because you thought you would lose Tony, it drained you. You were ready to fall asleep in his arms, but you still had one more thing to question.

"What are the papers?" You asked, raising your head to look up at him again. "If you're not. . .if you're not leaving me then what are they?"

"I'm going to pretend like you didn't just suggest that I would ever leave you over this and just show you." He grabbed the packet and held it in front of you. You adjusted yourself in his lap, so you could grab the papers from him. You tried to ignore the smile that was making its way on his face as you looked through the papers. You didn't understand what he was so excited about yet.

It was an application packet. You flipped through pages and pages of questionnaires, trying to understand what you were looking through. You finally flipped back to the front page, and your eyes grew wide when it clicked in your head. You were looking through an application for a local adoption agency.

"Tony, I- I don't-"

"You are the one person in this world that I cannot lose. I don't want to keep trying for a baby if it's going to hurt you." Tony delicately pushed your hair behind your ears, and you smiled at the gesture. "We're still going to have a child together, though. You are going to be the best mother, Y/N. I have no doubt in my mind about that. I just need you to trust me here. We're in this together."

Tears pooled in your eyes, and you looked between his face and the application. There was an overwhelming feeling of happiness swelling your chest. What you were feeling reminded you of the first time you found out you were pregnant. You both had been overjoyed with the news, and you were ready to take that next step.

This was your chance to try again. It wasn't what either of you had planned for your future, but you learned early to roll with the punches. You were married to Tony Stark, and you were a mutant. Normal had never been in the cards for you, but you were grateful that you had each other.

"Did I mention that I love you?" You teased, wiping the happy tears away with the back of your hand.

"Once or twice, but I don't mind hearing it again," Tony quipped. "I love you most. And I will always love you."

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