#somehow these always work? lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aceredshirt13 · 5 months

Text

We'll never get a third Ritchieverse Holmes movie. But if we somehow did, this is what I like to think should happen.

I would absolutely love for the inciting incident to be that, since the reason Holmes faked his death was because he wanted to keep Watson and Mary safe, the reason he has returned from faking his death is because that backfired and Watson and Mary are very much not. Why aren't they safe, you ask? Well, because Moran is on the revenge trail. Typically, he didn't have much personal investment in the killing of his targets, but we all saw how absolutely furious he got when Watson nearly killed Moriarty and escaped with Holmes. Now Moriarty is dead, and Moran has no job, no purpose, no one in the world - nothing, save for anger and grief. He cannot kill Holmes, because he does not know Holmes still lives. But if Holmes took the life of the only person Moran ever cared about, then even if he's not around to suffer for it, he will do the same to him.

Except, naturally, Holmes is around to suffer for it, and this cues the ending scene of the movie where Holmes coyly reveals he's alive, and would pick up right from there. There would be action! There would be shenanigans! Holy hell there would be character drama! Watson and Mary are absolutely going to beat Holmes's ass within an inch of his life, but also Watson is so, so very glad to have him back... Mary's not forgiving him ever for what he put Watson through, but how can she - how can they - bring themselves to be fully angry when he went through this to the end in an attempt to ensure their happiness? Especially when, if one considers the reason he closed his eyes to be for Watson to be the last thing he saw if he died, Holmes wasn't even completely sure he'd successfully fake his death... And they can't just unpack that while sitting in a house somewhere talking about their feelings, because Moran and the remnants of Moriarty's wide-reaching organization are very hot on their heels.

How does the movie progress? Well, I'm not entirely sure. I would love for Moran to get betrayed by those he conspired with, and be forced to work with Holmes and Watson (and Mary, who is adamantly refusing to let these two do all this on their own when her life is as endangered as theirs) on some level, thus forcing everybody - including Moran - to actually talk to each other. I also want to show that Holmes is beginning to get tired of all this - he loves the adrenaline, he loves to exercise his genius, he hates being bored, but he's also tired of the people he cares about constantly being in danger because he knows he can't always protect them. He knows that, because of what happened to Irene.

How does the movie end? Well, I can certainly tell you that. As a significant portion of the fanbase and Jude Law himself will tell you, the Ritchieverse Holmes movies come off very, very strongly as romances. In most cases, I am not the sort of person who advocates for any given ship in a medium to be acknowledged as canon just because a lot of fans like it, especially since that can often lead to disastrous results... but Christ alive, these movies are leaning so ridiculously hard into Holmeswatson vibes that I can't imagine it was an accident. And, well, part of the reason I want Moran to figure so heavily into this movie is because I think there was quite a bit of potential exploration of what exactly his relationship was with Moriarty just in the few tidbits you saw of them together... perhaps through a few flashbacks sprinkled in after Moran confesses what they really were to each other. Because if there's one thing I love, it's parallels. Watson and Moran, the military veterans and crack shots who are so very attached to the often-difficult genius masterminds they love. Unlike the singly-devoted Moran, Watson's affections are torn, because he adores Mary with everything he is, and is constantly fighting himself and pretending he can give up Holmes for her even though he can't imagine a life without both of them in it - but he is no less devoted for it. In different ways, they both cannot see a way forward - Moran cannot without Moriarty, Watson cannot because he cannot choose. So, in terms of an ending, I want Moran not to have to be killed by our heroes, or die in some sacrifice, or take his own life. I want him to have to live, without taking revenge. To figure out some kind of life, now that he's been spit out by the Queen's Army, and has lost the new life he was given now. It's more interesting, and less cheap, especially if this movie serves to build up and add depth to his character. And as for Holmes and Watson, well, it's not 2009 or 2011 anymore, so what's to stop your loose action movie adaptation of century-old, now-public domain stories from just going ahead and having them admit they love each other? (Or, potentially, having Mary admit it for them, to one of them, because she is sick and tired of their bullshit?) Why not let them, after all this is over, finally, finally share a kiss?

And as for the epilogue, I think it would be super fun and endearing if it cuts to Watson and Mary finally moving into that country house in Sussex together. He and Mary love each other, they're happy, they'll do so very all right. Then they get a knock on the door to find that the old woman who lives in the house next door has come to bring them a housewarming gift.

Except it's not an old woman. It's Sherlock Holmes dressed as an old woman. He has gone into early retirement to keep bees, and he just so happens, by pure coincidence, to have bought the house next to theirs.

Watson and Mary are exasperated. Then they probably think it's really funny, while still being exasperated. And ultimately, what Watson needs to realize is that there is something in this world that is insistent upon keeping these three together. If all of them can put up with each other - as they have shown they can just manage to do, this whole movie - and if all of them care for each other - as they have shown they undoubtedly do, for this whole movie - then no matter what he was sure was the "correct" and "right" thing to do before, he does not, and has never had to choose. Holmes doesn't have to steal him away from Mary any more than Mary has to steal him away from Holmes, because the great lesson of the Ritchieverse Sherlock Holmes movies ought to be that sometimes, polyamory is the best solution. And they all live in Sussex together, and quibble incessantly, and remain there for the rest of their days.

P. S. The number one thing this movie is absolutely, positively not allowed to do is kill off Mary. I don't care if she dies offscreen in the books, these movies did not have so much of their character conflict be Watson's inability to choose between her and Holmes for that to conclude with the immensely cheap act of offing her - not to mention that that would mean killing the only remaining major female character left in the series, and that these movies are so far removed from the ACD canon anyway that they can literally do whatever they want.

P. P. S. I don't have anywhere else to put these since I'll certainly never finish an entire screenplay concept for this without help, so here are a few disconnected, inaccurate-screenplay-format snippets using this idea that I jotted down on my phone way, way, back. Enjoy?

~~~

Opening shot: pigeons.

It’s early morning, and a man sits on a bench with a small bag of birdseed. He takes a handful of it, and reaches out to them. They flock around him with enthusiasm, some perching on his arm and hand.

The pigeons know him, clearly. It is SEBASTIAN MORAN.

He turns to look over his shoulder.

Moran: Hey, Professor, do you -

He stops. There is no one beside him.

Something hardens in his face.

He continues sprinkling birdseed. But his movements are listless, and it is clear the act no longer brings him much joy.

~~~

Holmes: It appears that Moriarty’s death, while ultimately a public service to the human race, has unleashed a far greater and more unpredictable danger to you than I could have imagined.

Watson: A danger?

Holmes: Indeed. And so long as I was believed to be dead, I was sure you and Mary would be entirely safe from it.

Watson: What - ?

Holmes: But I am now very much aware that that isn’t so, and so I have returned.

Watson: What danger, Holmes?

Holmes: Sebastian Moran.

Watson: Sebastian Mor- What, Moriarty’s right-hand man?

Holmes: The very same.

Watson: But why would he come after us? His superior is dead, he hasn’t got any orders -

Holmes: This has absolutely nothing to do with orders, Watson, and everything to do with the precarious and emotional nature of the human condition.

Watson: For the love of God, Holmes, can you just explain -

Holmes: I mean to say that this is entirely personal. Moran did not just work for Moriarty, he cared for him. Though to what extent, I haven’t the slightest idea.

Watson: For Moriarty?

(A disbelieving chuckle.)

Watson: Delusional bastard. I can’t imagine Moriarty cared for a soul in the world.

Holmes: And he may not have. How fallible man is, hm?

Holmes: Nevertheless, I believe that the colonel is seeking revenge. And if he cannot get it on me, then he will not stop until he has slain everyone I have ever cared for.

Holmes: Thus, my return from the grave. But I’ve already said that, haven’t I?

~~~

Holmes: No. No more deaths. No more lives lost because of me.

Holmes: …Not after Irene.

~~~

Moran: You should have died like the dog you are.

Holmes: Perhaps I would have, if I hadn’t known that Moriarty’s dog still lived.

Holmes: I had - foolishly, perhaps - thought that were I to die, Watson and Mary would be safe. A life for a life - my life, for Moriarty’s. No more.

Holmes: But you weren’t content with that. Were you?

Holmes: You wouldn’t stop until you’d killed everyone that meant something to me, even though I wasn’t there to see it.

Holmes: What will you do, if you succeed? What will you have left? It’s not as if revenge will bring him back.

Moran: You’d do the same if you lost your bloody Watson, wouldn’t you?

(Holmes is, rarely, silent.)

Moran: …And I don’t know how to do anything else.

~~~

Moran: …You’re wrong.

Moran: Nobody was kind to me. Not until I met the professor.

Holmes: But of course. It behooves a smart man to take good care of his tools -

Moran: You don’t know anything! It was real, what we had!

Moran: …It was real. I know it was. Because he told me that he didn’t even want to like me, at first, let alone…

(He trails off, as if thinking better of it. But then he shakes his head with a bitter chuckle.)

Moran: …What’s the point? I’ll hang for all the murders I’ve done. Another felony won’t mean much.

Moran: I loved him. And you’re the reason he’s dead. So I’ll kill everyone you love, and then I’ll kill you, or I’ll die trying.

~~~

Okay, that's it. If for some reason you read this far, thanks for sticking around! And if you have any personal thoughts on a third Ritchieverse Holmes movie, I'd absolutely love to hear them. See ya!

#rdj holmes #ritchie holmes #sherlock holmes #john watson #mary watson #sebastian moran #james moriarty #holmeswatson #holmeswatsonmary #moraniarty #and well i suppose i should tag this the almighty #johnlock #i honestly think all my screenplayish tidbits are waaaaaay too on the nose lmao #but i didn't want them to sit on my phone forever #but man is this a movie i'd love to work on if it somehow existed #even though there's no way it could given how much older all the actors are #i've seen and heard about numerous continuation concepts #but i always thought it a shame that they left out the fact that moran is still alive and kicking #and the fact that moran clearly cared about moriarty is such fun and barely explored territory in the movie #and appeared in none of the continuations that i could see #(sure it's entirely possible to interpret it that moriarty was just using that care)#(but i think that's boring)#(much more interesting to have your ruthless terrifying criminal mastermind villain be capable of genuine care)#(after all he canonically cares for those pigeons doesn't he?)

32 notes · View notes

autisticlee · 1 year

Text

I know I need to "just do things by myself" like literally everyone tells me, but I really wish I had someone I can always ask to go places with me even if it's just to one store for one quick thing.

I barely have the ability to function enough to take care of myself daily. leaving the house for any reason is basically impossible most days. I don't have the energy and ability to drive, find the thing I need at a store, interact with people, and do the checkout dance, then drive home, all while acting "normal" (or appropriate/presentably human enough) in public with the added bonus of sensory overload. for most people, going to the store is one single task. that's all it is. for me, it's hundreds of simultaneously occurring steps I need to remember to do and maintain the entire time....

it's so hard to explain this to people. no one gets it. but i need someone else to do the human-ing for me and I just follow along. they drive, answer or ask questions and let focus be on them, lead me to the thing I need, let me copy them so I dont stand out with my weirdness...so many times i'll go to a store to get a few things alone. the sensory cacophony of everything hitting me at once makes me forget what I'm looking for, tunnel vision on the offending sensory input and can't see where i'm going, can't find things even if they're in the same place they've always been, i've run into people and things, knocking stuff over, because my body disconnects from my brain and it's hard to control. if people talk to me, I can't process their words or respond. I can't ask questions if I need to. i'll wander lost for way longer than I want to be there.

this whole time, i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably obvious because idk how to act "normal" or as expected when alone. so many times I come home without one or more of the things I needed from a store even if I had a list in hand.

I completely space out and dissociate way more often than i would like. not even stores when i need to go in and out quickly, but anywhere. if I try going to a thing that's supposed to be fun, like say a festival or aquarium or anything else, and I go alone because I don't have a friend to go with, I spend the whole time in a sensory overloaded, dissociative state, while being required to perform "normal human" rituals and masking. then get home, realizing I didn't enjoy it or retain much of it because my brain was overworking and i got exhausted as soon as i got there. i didnt get to relax and enjoy any of it because it was so much work and my brain shut down while there to try protecting itself. it's a whole brain exercise that exhausts me beyond belief. this whole time. i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably actually very obvious because idk how to act "normal" when alone and don't have someone to copy and follow.

if I have someone familiar with me, especially someone comfortable who i dont have to lead or entertain, I can ground myself better and focus more on them. I follow and copy them so I dont have the try as hard to be a human and think about doing human things. it's easier to copy someone doing the things than to try to think of the hundred steps you probably forgot and perform them alone. they always answer people so fast before I even processed half the words that were said to me.

it always surprises me when people do that. they'll answer a question before I even processed it was a question! I always need someone to be there for me to answer for me because i'm too slow, they get impatient, and/or I answer incorrectly, if i'm able to speak at all being semi-speaking. at least half the time if I do get words out, they don't hear me or mishear me. for example, just yesterday, I made my mom go to a new sushi restaurant with me. the waiter apparently asked if I was ready to pay, my mom was gesturing to me ans asking if im ready or something and the waiter was looking at me, but my brain couldn't make any of it out at all. I was staring between them like ???????? and gave up and just shook my head no. my brain was trying to figure it out and process anything at all, but i got incredibly confused and completely froze up. my mom answered "not yet" and they left. I was like, what was that about ? She said "they wanted you to pay now. you're ready to go right? now we have to wait again." I didn't get any of that, and if I was alone, that would have been even worse because I wasn't able to figure out anything or even say words. I need someone with me at all times to cover my perpetually lost and confused ass lmao

but it's also a struggle when the other person is like this too, puts too much attention on me, or expects me to lead us both. it causes the same effects as if i'm alone, plus the added bonus of needing to entertain and/or advocate/answer for and lead THEM, when I can't even do it for myself! I had a friend like that and it was annoying and immediately exhausting every time we hung out.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. i'm sure at least one person's gets it, though, right? how it's hard to consciously and appropriately act human in public when alone, but copying or hiding behind another person makes it easier than thinking about it all yourself, while sensory overload! if i can I just exist along with them and the focus isn't all on me like it is when i'm alone, it's a lot easier.

acting "normal" like a human, or basically what's "appropriate" in public spaces around others takes so much brain power that most people don't have to even think about! because it's automatic for them. so they can't fathom how much i'm struggling and it's so easy for them to say "just do it/you don't need help/you don't need someone to do it with or for you/you're being lazy!" plus adding on sensory overload you can't ignore, while everyone else is able to completely tune out and ignore the horrible lighting, the squeaky cart wheels, the crying babies and screaming kids, the 50 different conversations, the loud phone ring tone a few aisles over, the annoying music playing, someone dropping a box of something, crinkling of wrappers, the cash register beeps, the air being a bit too chilly, the annoying seam on your socks, the scratchy material of your jacket, the overly bright display of products, etc. everything all at once in great intensity. people who can ignore this don't know how lucky they are. they also don't understand what it feels like. it's exhausting.

i'm like a cave gremlin seeing light and the world for the first time ever, every time I leave my room. everything is confusing and overwhelming, but because i'm human shaped, everyone expects me to have the expected human behaviors and they freak out when i dont meet those standards. they don't care how difficult it is for me and how much i'm struggling. they won't help or accommodate me. it has to be my fault I made them uncomfortable.

exposure doesn't make it any better and arguably makes it worse because more sensory overload and more need to use my brain to overthink every word and movement I do, leading to a very deep exhaustion immediately 😫

this is why functioning labels or comparing me to my "good" days/experiences sucks and shouldn't happen. I often need help/support and people expect me to ~do it myself~ and refuse to help me so I struggle and fail to exist correctly.

#autistic #autism #lee rambles #actually autistic #neurodivergent #audhd #autism things #sensory processing disorder #sensory overstimulation #sensory overload #i copy pasted this from where i first typed it and somehow pasted it in the incorrect order because tumblr app is a nightmare #it kept jumping as i was trhing to paste so things pasted jn the wrong spots. but i *think* i fixed it. apologies if not lmao #its one of those days. where i wish to go a place and do a thing but have no one to ask so i will not go #i need a dedicated beat friend i can always ask who preferably has the same work schedule as me or flexible time #or become rich and hire someone to do things with me l m a o #why is tumblr app such a nightmare though why is it jumping around while i type #and why does it turn a whole paragraph italics when i only highlighted ONE WORD.#and dont even get me started on trying to rearrange pictures in a post lmao #this has been a rant within a rant #autism stuff

112 notes · View notes