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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years

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So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to!#molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

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esmorothfallen-a · 2 years

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Color Finally Explains Why She’s Been Inactive, The Masterpost (and why she’s probably gonna continue to be inactive oops)

//Oh boy. Hi guys, it’s been a bit. I know I kind of vanished off the face of the earth without any prior warning whatsoever, and I’m really sorry about that. Those of you who know me well are probably thinking ‘oh boy Color’s switched main fandoms’ again and... yes? But also no? It’s a little more complicated than that.

Also! In case you’re concerned, no, nothing’s wrong with me. I’m fine! This time it actually has nothing to do with real life stuff at all. So don’t worry about that.

With that being said, details are under the cut. ‘Cause it’s long.

There’s actually several reasons why I’ve been inactive, some of which are specifically tied to this blog, and some of which aren’t. So I’ll just kind of. Go over all of them below. In chronological order of when these problems started cropping up.

#1: Most of y’all are oblivious to this because I’m the dummy who decided to be active on Twitter, but there was a huge blow up in the Infinity Train fandom on there shortly after the art gallery exhibition. I don’t really want to discuss it here, but it was bad, and it kind of killed my drive for participating in the fandom in general.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Infinity Train. This isn’t actually a case of a full main fandom switch in which I’ve dropped my previous main fandom entirely (which I’ll explain more later) but my motivation to create things for it, especially when it comes to writing (my writing motivation is very fickle anyway and is easily affected by things like this) kind of went out the window.

You’d think that problem would’ve resolved eventually, but it kind of hasn’t? The fandom’s... died, a little bit, since that incident. And with it my hope for getting anymore of Infinity Train went out the window. So... my motivation never really came back.

As a sidenote to this one, the Infinity Train RPC also kind of disappeared off the face of the earth shortly before this happened, and I was already struggling with that because while I do love crossovers, it’s always easier to maintain a blog when I have other canons to bounce off of as well.

#2: I’m gonna be completely honest. Tumblr roleplay has been stressing me out lately. My motivation to write long-form roleplay replies has slowly been trickling out the window for a little bit now, maybe because I’ve been writing the same muse for so long, and it’s made it hard for me to reply quickly except for certain threads that I still had really high muse for.

And that was making me really anxious because I felt bad that I was taking so long to reply to everything else. I also felt like I was dropping too many threads, that people were gonna start getting annoyed with me for all the draft purges I inevitably ended up having to do.

On top of that, I’m also horrible at plotting. There’s no sugarcoating that. Unless you come to me with an idea first, or I had a more general idea beforehand, it’s not gonna work. Which is a problem, because Tumblr roleplay honestly works better with some kind of plot outline.

So, where have I been since I’ve been gone? ‘Cause I haven’t stopped roleplaying. Well, the first answer is Discord. Some similar problems can be encountered there, but like... I’m less anxious about it because the people I write with on Discord are close friends who are used to me being slow, and used to us not always being able to finish roleplays.

The second answer is a little more out there. I’ve been roleplaying on Roblox again. Specifically on a game called Revamp Project, which surprisingly has a lot of decent roleplayers! This is more short-form roleplay because the Roblox chat has a character limit, plus it has a visual aspect which has always been something I liked about roleplaying on Roblox. The community I’ve gotten involved in on Revamp Project is actually really nice, and it is still a form of literate RP, it’s just usually no more than a paragraph per-post and it involves a LOT more improv because you never know who you’re gonna run into.

And tbh, I think that’s the kind of roleplay I prefer.

#3: And here’s the one y’all were expecting! I’ve been bouncing around hyperfixations again! But not quite in the same way as usual. So, like, the thing with Infinity Train happened. THEN, the announcement was made that one of my favorite RPG horror games, and one of my previous main fandoms, is getting a remake. Obviously I then had to replay said game, which resulted in me falling headfirst back into that fandom!

HOWEVER, surprisingly, I did not switch fully. I ended up juggling it with Infinity Train. Which was really nice tbh.

And then Deltarune chapter 2 happened. And I loved it. It didn’t become a main hyperfixation immediately because I didn’t think I had gotten attached to any of the characters in quite the way that makes me switch (keywords being “I didn’t think”), but I started consuming a lot more content for it, and it wormed it’s way up to being at the top of my secondary fandoms.

AND THEN I DISCOVERED THE SNOWGRAVE ROUTE. And all of a sudden I realized that whoops! I might be a little bit attached to Noelle, actually! And also Berdly slightly don’t @ me. SO. Funny story. I’ve actually been writing post-Snowgrave Noelle a whole bunch on Discord and Roblox lately.

But the thing is, I’m still more or less juggling three fandoms. Deltarune has most of my attention at the moment, but I guarantee you if I was to replay Ib again, or rewatch a season of Infinity Train, I’d be right back down those rabbit holes. And considering my issues with Tumblr RP in general, the fact that I’m honestly not confident enough to join the Deltarune RPC, and my inability to juggle blogs very well... my current situation just isn’t working with being active on here atm.

And, that’s pretty much it! Thank you if you actually read all of that. I know it’s a lot, but I felt like it needed to be said. I can’t swear that I’ll come back, but I also can’t swear that I won’t.

As always, if any of my mutuals want to keep in touch with me, you can add me on Discord!! I’m CONSTANTLY SWITCHING FANDOMS™#0154 (yes, in all caps, some of my friends (jokingly) peer pressured me into matching with them HKHDJHGF) and yes Simon is still my icon on there. I still love him, don’t worry.

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dayseternal-blog · 3 years

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Hi Days! I'm a huge fan of your work and your tumblr blog bc you give so many naruhina fanfic recs and talk about your stories, etc.

To sum it up, you're my favorite person lol, I'm a bit shy so I'm asking this as an anon, but I wanted to tell you something random just because I've always just thought about it and maybe you would agree or comment on it.

Have you ever listened to mitski? If you haven't I recomend you do bc she's amazing, but anyways I was listening to a song of hers called "washing machine heart" and it reminded me of naruhina, like the fic "together you and I" but different you know, like naruto only married hinata because he couldn't have sakura, she was his second option and every time he looked at her he wished and pretended it was Sakura, so Hina tries her hardest to look pretty and try to be the person he wants, always getting saddend by the idea that she isn't the one he wants, she knows his heart will only belong to Sakura. She let's him trample all over her heart and use her because she loves him unconditionally, maybe cry to her on some nights because he longs for Sakura's love that will never come.

I've read so many fanfics and I've never encountered one using this concept, I'd write it myself, but I'm not good at writing, maybe I'm reaching but it could inspire an angst story made by you or just a prompt or idea/concept for anyone to use. The hurt in this could be inmaculate and I bet a good writer could bring everyone to tears if they read a story like this. You don't have to do anything ofc I'll love you either way, I'm not meaning to push you to write a whole story with this concept by any means or to even post this ask, it's just something I made up/ related to this certain song, so I wanted you to see it, perhaps share your opinion or thoughts on it or just think about it. I love pain a lot hahaha bc I'm not a narusaku shipper in any way, I actually dislike the ship a lot.

Thank you for reading this and pls keep up the awesome work!! I'll always be a fan and support you and your spectacular writing❤️❤️

GAH What an awful fic idea you have 💔

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata are married. So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night. Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it.

And

“Territorial” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M, High school AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. When Hinata takes advantage of Naruto’s desperation for love, they’re both a little too much for the other to handle.

Are similar to what you have there.

HERE’S MY VERY QUICK AND INCOMPLETE STAB AT YOUR PROMPT IT’S UNEDITED UNREVISED CANON-DIVERGENT AU RATED T FOR LANGUAGE BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I COULD COME UP WITH 😘 THEY ARE NOT MARRIED BECAUSE I WOULD BE TOO SAD

...

Naruto finally makes it to the Hokage’s office, having had trouble shaking off fangirls on his way. He can immediately tell he’s the last one there, even though it’s the eve of the Rinnegan Festival. Tense expressions greet him, the atmosphere somber.

Sakura whips her attention back to the desk before them. “Rokudaime, with all due respect, I don’t think Naruto belongs on this mission.”

Her behavior has confused him all night. First moving away from him so that Hinata would sit between them at Ichiraku when Hinata could have just sat on the other side of him. Then pushing him to follow Hinata back home. He said aloud that he’d be seeing her later, and that he wanted to catch up with everyone first, but Sakura just glared at him...

She’s been pushing him away, more and more every day, breaking his heart to smaller and smaller pieces...whether knowingly or not, he’s not sure about that, but she’s never rejected him from being her teammate on a mission.

Worried, he meets Kakashi’s gaze.

“I understand your concern, Sakura.” His tone is heavy. His usual careless attitude nowhere in sight. “Call it just my gut-feeling...you’re going to need Naruto’s strength for this mission.”

Hanabi was kidnapped.

Hiashi and Hinata are nowhere to be found.

“What do you mean...?” Naruto finds himself asking. “I just saw her. We just saw her. Not even an hour ago.”

“When Sai reported Hanabi’s kidnapping, believe me, Naruto, we moved to notify her family immediately. Anbu can’t find them.”

“What?” The last memory he has of Hinata abruptly leaving dinner and running off without hardly a word nags at him, inexplicably tightening his chest. “She’s fine. Hinata’s strong. She can take on anybody. No one would dare-”

“Naruto,” Sakura interrupts, her gaze cutting sharp. “She’s nowhere to be found. And as much as you believe that, no one is invincible. Not even Hinata. We need to form a plan, otherwise we’re losing precious time.”

“No one is invincible. Not even Hinata.”

An emptying numbness invades his insides, discomforting slickness muting him.

This isn’t his fault, is it?

What if she needed to tell him something?

She was acting strange at Ichiraku.

Quiet, unusual for her as of recent...

But how was he supposed to notice? Should he have followed after her, like Sakura said? But they were supposed to meet at his apartment later on anyway, so why did she have to come out early like that and ruin the good time he was having? She knows how he hasn’t given up on Sakura.

She knows everything about him. She’s been his rock after Sakura tried to shut him down for good. So how can it be that she’d just disappear? There’s no way.

There’s just no way that she disappeared right after she left...

Hours.

Hours of wandering around in abandoned, desolate, war-stricken villages in god-knows-where, and nothing. No one.

He’s asking for the hundredth time, but he doesn’t care, he’s past the point of desperation, and anxiety-laced tension fills the air. “Taku, you really don’t see anything?!” The Hyuuga they have on their team led them into this godforsaken wasteland.

Taku turns on him aggressively, getting in his face in reaction, and yells, “What about you?? You think I’m not trying my best?! This is my family! Just because you’re Hinata’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re any more worried than the rest of us! You don’t sense her??”

No. He doesn’t.

His Sage Mode has never been so useless. In fact, he senses no one besides them in this place, and it’s with terrible unease that he begins to entertain the thought that she’s gone for good.

“There’s no one even here besides us! Nothing! Why’d you take us down here? Where are we even?! How do we get out of here in the first place?!” he argues back.

“Sakura-san was right! You don’t belong on this mission! I don’t know what Hinata-sama could ever see in you, I haven’t seen her smile in months!”

“What do you mean by that?! She smiles all the time! I’ve never seen her act so cheerful in my life!”

“So you fucking know it, too!” Taku glares at him with an incredulous expression. “That she’s just acting!”

“What the hell do you mean by that-”

And he doesn’t know what happened next, but Sai’s grabbing onto Taku and he himself is locked in Shikamaru’s shadow manipulation. Chakra’s sparking off his own hands, while blue embers warp along Taku’s.

“Calm down,” Shikamaru orders both of them. “We’re not getting anywhere if the two of you keep fighting.” He waits for Taku to loosen his stance.

Sai lets go of him.

Taku throws an insulting glare around before sauntering off.

Shikamaru sighs. Hard. “Go cool your head, Naruto.” He retracts his shadow, and Naruto wastes no time walking off in the opposite direction, far from wherever Taku is heading.

Yet Taku’s ridiculous words ring in his head. “That she’s just acting.”

But she said that she’s happy to be with him. That she doesn’t mind that he’s still in love with Sakura. She said that she’s just happy to be with him.

She said that. She did. And she wouldn’t lie to him, right?

She was just acting?

“You’re not going to finish your ramen?” he asked her on their date last month.

“No...” Suddenly, she smiled brightly, something she’s been doing more often ever since he mentioned that he’s always liked how genki Sakura is. “Do you want the rest of mine? I’m dieting.”

He scrunched his eyebrows at her. “Dieting? Why?”

“Well...” She looked thoughtful for a moment before seeming to come to a decision. “Naruto-kun, you like thin girls, right?”

He knew she was talking about Sakura. “...I guess...”

“I want to make you happy,...” she started. She bit her lips for a hesitating moment before continuing, “so I’ve been trying to lose a little weight.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what to make of that. Unbidden, he looked her over.

“Can you tell?” she asked, her characteristic shyness lowered her lashes, yet she didn’t fidget under his examination, and he could tell how she was trying her best to have that confident persona he admires in his former teammate.

Despite her recent changes in attitude, Hinata’s still been so physically small compared to himself and everyone else. Under her jacket, he couldn’t tell if she looked skinnier or not, and even if she was, he doesn’t think she really needed to be skinnier.

But then she looked up at him with that heavy, hopeful weight in her gaze, and he couldn’t let her down. Not when she’s trying so hard for his approval.

He fibbed easily. “Yeah. You look really good.”

She shined another smile at him that made him feel good. Even if their relationship wasn’t traditional, he could at least still make her happy. He could at least tell her some sweet words and see her sweet smile and-

She was lying.

She wasn’t happy?

He never made her happy?

Then what was the point of any of it?

No, she must have been happy, right?! She said so! She told him so! Many, many times!

After all, he asked her. All of those times he thought she was faking her smile, he asked just to make sure, and she vehemently told him that she was really happy to be with him.

She said he could talk to her about all of it. That she could take on his heartbreak because her feelings were so much bigger than...

“Uzumaki Naruto.”

The unfamiliar voice has him leaping to his feet.

A man as pale as a ghost with piercingly icy eyes is floating down to him on some strange platform. “You’re really as pitiful as I expected.”

“Who the hell are you?!” He readies his stance. He’s not in any mood for games, and he’s ready to let loose some of his stress on this very suspicious character.

“Hinata’s fiance.”

“Hinata?!” Fire races through his veins, heating his feet, and he’s ready to leap at this guy. “Where is she?!”

“With me.”

His heart rate exponentially explodes, beating into his ears, his skin practically bristling. “Let her go,” he demands, and the threat of his words leaks from every pore of his being. “Now.”

The man almost snorts. “What makes you think she wants to see you? You only ever used her, broke her...” His collected expression hardens, and Naruto can sense that he has no intention of releasing her. “I’ll make her happier than you ever could.”

Several thoughts fly too quickly through his mind to properly process any of it, leaving only residual uncertainty and that deepening sense of his culpability in her sudden disappearance. But he doesn’t linger on the unpleasant sensations. “What the fuck do you know?!” And he’s charging at him, a Rasengan heavy in his hand.

The enemy is far more powerful than he appeared, immediately blowing him back with some kind of focused chakra. “Weak, pathetic.”

“GIVE HER BACK!” He replicates himself a dozen times, each of them throwing Rasenshurikens at the man.

Yet more of that strange yellow chakra protects him. He’s unscathed even under his shadow clone onslaught. “No. I gave her a choice, and she came with me. I’m just here to get rid of you, take revenge against you for her sake.”

He hardly comprehends the nonsense spewing out of the enemy’s mouth, and he rallies his clones into close combat, but the man manages to avoid many of the attacks while landing hits of his own.

Clones poofing away only to be replaced by more, frustration and fury starting to blind him into sloppier and sloppier moves.

“I love Hinata. That’s why I deserve her.”

He chokes on his own breath, and in his momentary loss of concentration,...

He’s falling.

------------------------*

aaannnnd that’s as far as I want to go with that. Imagine the rest of the team arriving in time to notice Toneri making his escape toward the sky, and I guess the rest of the story would sort of follow the rest of The Last...Naruto self-reflects a lot in a bundle of depression for a long time and yeah.

...ahhh... I encourage you to write the fic you want to see in the world ❤️

#anon #thank you for thinking i could do your fic idea justice #but in the end 😅 i'm sorry that this is a letdown #i'm not much one for angst you know #who wrote white lilies not me #thank you for laying the praise on thick 🥺 don't know if i'm deserving #thank you for reading!

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doctorofmagic · 4 years

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Hello! I’m a huge fan of both your blog and Stephen Strange! I’ve been into the comics for a good few years now and I’d like to ask (as I’ve noticed some things myself), if you believe DoomStrange is a good ship? :0 It seems like it could work in my opinion! And 2. (Sorry, im a curious person) Do you have any recommendations for comics with Victor and Stephen together that I may have missed?? Thank you!!

Greetings and thanks for asking!

Oh, my. Anon... Are... Are you asking me about my ship...? *inhales deeply*

Since you’re asking my opinion about it, I’ll definitely NOT get hold of myself. Also I’m not internally keysmashing, who told you that?

Regarding your first question. YES. DEFINITELY. ABSOLUTELY. Doomstrange is an incredible ship, mostly in canon 616. Of course, one must consider that we’re talking about a supervillain, which brings a few reservations about how healthy and problematic this kind of ship may be. That said, if you don’t mind this kind of relationship, we can proceed.

Truth be told, I’m quite soft when it comes to the old trope in which the good character becomes a source of redemption to the villain. I can’t stress enough how important Stephen is to Victor’s character development. And yes, in canon.

Since the very beginning, even before their first encounter, there’s a certain admiration that comes both ways. Though Victor still exhales his colossal ego through every word, he considers the possibility of becoming Stephen’s apprentice when Clea leaves. This is so important for two reasons: first, because Victor NEVER submits to people. Secondly, because he keeps track on Stephen. He has this peculiar, growing interest in him. We have an entire page dedicated to his conflict in Doctor Strange - Master of the Mystic Arts #57 (1983).

Meanwhile, Stephen does not think of Victor as a tyrant, a villain or a bad person at first. On the contrary, he considers him an ally, even though they haven’t met yet. When Stephen’s attacked by Dormammu, he evokes the memories of possible allies, sensitive to magic, who could aid him. It’s quite unusual for a hero to think of an enemy as a possible ally. And yet, here we are.

But the climax is yet to come in Triumph and Torment. Victor finds a way to save his mother without asking for help. That’s clever, he’s absolutely in character here. And maybe he expected Stephen to be the winner. Maybe he predicted that Stephen would be the one to literally go to hell with him. And that’s a good thing because they had a hidden agenda way before T&T.

They spend 45 days together. I repeat, Stephen lived in Latveria - more specifically, in Castle Doom - for 45 days. I can’t think of other people who shared so many days with Stephen aside from Clea and Wong.

One can arguee that Victor would never bond. He’s too hard and cold. But that’s WRONG. Victor had Valeria for one day and a half and immediately adopted her. He’s a softie.

And again, he could have left Stephen behind in Mephisto’s realm. But he didn’t. Mephisto freed Cynthia, they could have walked away, except Cynthia is, deep down, a good soul, and the same goes for Victor. Once more, one can arguee that Victor saved Stephen out of interest, since he could benefit from the Sorcerer Supreme’s powers. Well, then... If he ended up being the second best in the Contest of the Vishanti, wouldn’t that make him the next Sorcerer Supreme? He could have taken the title for himself! Also, another proof that Victor cares about Stephen is right here, when he carries Stephen on his arms since he doesn’t want demons to touch him (we were robbed but it did happen!)

Their feelings somehow changed after this experience. Stephen learned that Victor has a soft side, and Victor realized that Stephen is not just a tool, but someone to rely on. Of course, there’s a ton of angst and ego and opposite ideologies, but that’s the beautiful part of it. It’s about how they change each other gradually.

And it may seem that I’m exaggerating, but it only takes a few years in the official chronology to understand how T&T was fundamental to consolidate their relationship and prove my point.

During The Infinity Gauntlet saga, when Doom feels compelled to use the stones but is nearly destroyed, Stephen’s the one who saves both his body and soul. They could have let Doom die, yet we’re talking about Stephen. This is so important because Victor acknowledges his effort. More than that, he secretly values Stephen’s deed. He ~SUBMITS~ to Stephen. And Doctor Doom NEVER yields.

And I’m not even mentioning the fact that Stephen listens to Victor.

Sadly, there’s a huge gap until their next interaction, but oh boy, is it worth it. Of course, I’m skipping their minor battles because, truth be told, they’re not even as meaningful as their team-ups.

Obviously, we’re skipping to New Avengers v3 and Secret Wars. I’m not saying that Stephen is better off without the Illuminati, yet I cannot ignore the fact that he raised from perdition the moment he started his own journey alone towards power in order to stop the Beyonders. And who did he find at the end? Victor. He was the only one who figured Doom was trying to save the world as well. And the fact that they witnessed the end of the world side by side? Poetic cinema.

I could have settled by that, yet Hickman shows me that they LITERALLY built a world together.

And why is Secret Wars so important to their story? Because Stephen’s sin and Victor’s crime led them to ruin. The moment Victor loses Stephen and realizes he was betrayed by him is the moment Battleworld falls. It’s a very tragic story.

Still, we’re talking about Stephen. He has this tendency to endless goodness. They never talked about Battleworld (although I have a theory that they both remember it), and yet, their bond remains. They do not hold resentment. On the contrary, Stephen still believes in Victor’s kindness, while Victor trusts Stephen.

That said, after all this time, I believe Savage Avengers is the best example to illustrate their bond nowadays. It’s not surprising that their relationship is so well written, considering T&T is a personal favorite of Gerry Duggan. Also funny how it’s also Cantwell’s personal favorite, but they interpreted their relationship in completely different perspectives.

In Savage Avengers, they act as if they were practically married and it’s quite sweet. Also, we have it all. There’s a casual conversation about working together in order to triumph, there’s lots of drama and commotion and, of course, a breathtaking rescue. It’s perfect. I’ve fangirled talked about it a few times because, god, it’s THAT good and a great source of food.

In short, what makes me soft towards Doomstrange is how their dynamics flow both ways. On the one hand, I love how much Stephen believes in Victor’s goodness and how much he’s willing to go in order to save his damned soul. On the other hand, I love the way Victor sees Stephen differently and grows soft whenever he’s involved, allowing himself to show a hidden part of his heart.

They both struggle with loneliness and self-loathing, although they deal with it at opposite ends. While Stephen isolates himself and thinks the world is better off without him, Victor masks it with his huge ego and confidence, craving love and praise. In the end, they’re the same. They only see the world through opposite perspectives. The What If? issue where Doom becomes Sorcerer Supreme is there to prove my point. Stephen is what Victor could have become if tragedy was not a constant in his life.

Oof, I was really carried away haha. I’m so not sorry for that haha help.

Finally, your second question! The Doomstrange chronology!

I’m not sure which comic books you’ve read, so I’m making a complete list, except for alternate realities (like the What If ones, mostly because they’re very, very, VERY dark regarding Doomstrange). Here we go:

Before their first official encounter:

The Amazing Spider-Man v1 Annual #14 (1980) Doctor Strange - Master of the Mystic Arts #57 (1983) Doctor Strange - Sorcerer Supreme #2 (1989) First official team-up:

Doctor Strange & Doctor Doom: Triumph and Torment (1989)

The complete list:

Doctor Strange - Sorcerer Supreme #34 (1991) Silver Surfer v3 #59 (1991) Fantastic Four v3 #69; Fantastic Four v1 #500; Fantastic Four v1 #501 (not a team-up, they’re enemies here. But I adore this story all the same) New Avengers v3 (2012) (it’s recommend to read the whole volume to understand the story, but if you’re looking for Doomstrange only content, check issues #31 and #33) Secret Wars #1-9 (2016) (for Doomstrange, check issues #1-6) Infamous Iron Man #11-12 (2016) Doctor Doom #2 (2019) (Cantwell’s pessimist interpretation of Doomstrange) Savage Avengers #8-10 (2019) (Duggan’s very optimistic interpretation of Doomstrange. Also ignore the cover for issue #12, we all know that the person who slept with Stephen was Victor, considering the last panel pfff).

That’s it! I’m so sorry for the very long, looooong post. Also thank you for your kind words and patience! I hope it helped somehow.

#how can the sorcerer supreme be of assistance?#ask #doomstrange #doctor strange #stephen strange #doctor doom #victor von doom #marvel comics #in this house we praise jonathan hickman gerry duggan and brian michael bendis

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aesthetical-bucky · 4 years

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The Neighbour Upstairs (Part 2)

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky finally apologises for the mistake he made.

Words: 1.1k

Warning(s): Brief mention of a one night stand, slight awkward encounter.

Authors Note: Part 2 of 8 of my first series. I’m giving a special thank you to @becs-bunker for her patience and willingness to proofread the whole series for me. Thank you my love!!!

TNU Masterlist

In truth, Bucky didn’t really know what to do. Since that day he got back from shopping and heard you crying in your apartment from what he assumed was from his music blaring upstairs at the time, he hasn’t stopped thinking about you. He couldn’t just knock on your door and apologise out of the blue. He wanted to do it properly.

But weeks went by, and he didn’t hear so much as a pin drop from your apartment below. Usually from his bedroom, he would be able to hear your television, and sometimes if he really concentrated long enough, he would be able to guess what you were watching.

Since he kind of gathered you were a huge fan of two shows; Friends and Supernatural. Often more than not, he would hear the Friends theme play and he would smile to himself.

But the past couple of weeks, he’s heard nothing. He hasn’t even heard you leave your apartment to go to work. Bucky was beginning to worry, he couldn’t help it and believe it or not, it was his nature to worry about people more than himself. It wasn’t like he could go downstairs and knock on your door to ask if you were okay because he hasn’t heard the Friends theme or the opening of Supernatural for a while.

But then an idea came to him.

Since your anxiety flared up weeks ago, you’ve been home and trying to relax. Your boss was more than understanding of your situation and had even offered to help you move out, but you couldn’t, your tenancy was renewed just a month ago, so you were still here for five more months.

You’ve noticed a significant difference in the noise level above you. There was no loud rock music blaring, no over-the-top action scenes from the movies he was playing and as hard as you tried not to listen to him, there was no obnoxiously loud sex above your bedroom anymore.

You didn’t know what to think, did he move out? Unlikely, since he was a new resident in the block. Maybe he was afraid of being evicted if you had reported him to your landlord? Maybe for some reason, you thought he knew you would do something like that, considering the hard time he gave you when you politely asked him to turn his shit down the first time.

And the thought had crossed your mind, many times. But you weren’t that kind of person, knowing if he was evicted over noise complaints, he wouldn’t get another apartment so easily once they received a letter from the current landlord asking what kind of tenant he was.

So you stayed in your cosy apartment, sipped your tea or coffee and read through your books. Trying to listen to any sign of life above you, but all you heard was the occasional running of tap water and sometimes the kettle whistling on the stove. You sighed and took advantage of the peace and quiet since you were unsure how long it would last for.

As the weeks went by, the apartment above you was still as quiet as ever. The resident upstairs hardly received visitors anymore, or so you noticed. And you thought it was creepy, but anytime you heard the communal door open and close, you would peek through your peephole and watch him haul bags of shopping up the stairs.

You hated to admit it, but with his black leather jacket, black-clad jeans with the chains hanging from the belt loops, and since his hair had grown, he slicked it back and he had a scruff on his face, he looked damn fine. Not the kind of guy you would normally be attracted to, and your mother certainly wouldn’t have approved, but you haven’t been able to get rid of the image of him opening his door to you shirtless from that time.

One time though, you had seen him coming out of the communal doors just as you arrived home. You didn’t speak to each other, but he did give you a sheepish smile. And since then, you didn’t know whether karma was out to get you, but you would bump into him a lot more frequent. But then you realise, his living room looks directly out, so he would have easily spotted you walking back.

The first time he spoke to you since your altercation, was when he was outside working on his bike, shirtless and his pants hanging lowly, his Calvin Klein waistband making itself known.

You were too busy staring and drooling over his broad, muscled and tattooed back that you didn’t even notice he was looking in your direction.

“Hi, there!” He waved, wiping the black grease from his hands on a cloth that was hanging out of his back pocket.

“H-hi!” You stumbled over your words and he started walking over to you.

“I uh, I just really wanted to say I’m deeply sorry for what I did before, with you know, the noise and everything. And I’m sorry for talking to you the way I did. There was no need for me to be so rude.” He smiled.

This is kind of what you needed, an apology; a meaningful one from him. Though you knew it would take a little while to totally forgive him for the hell he unnecessarily put you through.

“Oh, well thank you for the apology…”

“Bucky.”

“Bucky.” You repeated. “It’ll take me a while before everything can be fine again.” You explained to him that your anxiety has hit an all-time low

“I’m really sorry, doll. I don’t know why I acted the way I did, but listen, if you ever need anything from the store, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to get it for you.”.You ignored the fact the pet name he called you rolled off his tongue so naturally.

“Thank you. And I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, officially. Well, I best get back inside to-”

“Your girlfriend.” You spoke for him and he chuckled with widened eyes. He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Bold of you to assume I’m into girls, doll. But, no definitely not. I’m single, so,” He shrugged and your eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought-”

“A one night stand, doll. If you really wanted to know.” He laughs at your flustered state and you cringe, mentally facepalming yourself for being so personal.

“Right. Well, I best get in as well. I’ll see you around, Bucky.”

“See you around, Y/N.” Bucky smiled to himself as he watched you walk away from him. You were unbelievably sweet and he couldn’t believe he was responsible for breaking you down.

But no matter what, from this day forward, Bucky pledged to do everything and anything in his power to make it up to you.

Taglist: @criminal-cookies @hailmary-yramliah @jobean12-blog @scuzmunkie @nano--raptor

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7-wonders · 4 years

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Shatter Epilogue

Summary: Months after Cordelia’s execution, you’re ready to be formally presented as Michael’s wife and queen.

Word Count: 2156

A/N: Y’all requested it, and here it is! Damn, this is it. Thanks for sticking around for Shatter, and I sincerely hope you’ve all enjoyed. I have plenty more that I’m working on; you can find my work on my blog or my masterlist.

The smell of hair products fills the air as Mr. Gallant works his magic on his favorite client. He’s completely in his element, staring at his work in the mirror as he thinks about his next steps. The atmosphere reminds him of the small, high-end salon he used to run in the heart of Los Angeles: an important event, a VIP’s head of hair. Of course, this isn’t just any VIP. It’s his best friend.

“Y’know, I was going to try something a little experimental, but why mess with perfection?” To some, Gallant may come off as cocky. To those who know him, however, it’s a sign that he’s proud of his work.

“I love it, Gal, it’s perfect. Simple, yet put-together.” You grin at the man who is basically your brother through the mirror, giggling as he spins the chair around so you’re facing him.

After Cordelia Goode had been properly disposed of, your first order of business had been sorting out at what point in time the timelines deviated, and what events changed. Although your memory hadn’t been wiped by vindictive witches in this timeline, it seemed that you and Gallant were destined to be best friends. You had met him on one of your many trips to California to visit Michael when he was still a warlock at Hawthorne, dragging your lover into a Gucci store just so you could see what such a store was like. Gallant had also been inside, buying a new ascot to celebrate the opening of his salon. He had gawked over Michael’s hair, laughed at your teasing “back off, mister,” and the rest was history.

“Good, I would hate to have to face your husband if he were to hear that you hated the way I did your hair.”

“I wouldn’t let Michael throw you around too much,” you joke, watching with glee as Gallant’s eyes widen for a split second before realizing that you’re joking.

“I still can’t believe you guys didn’t even invite anybody to your wedding. It would have been the wedding of the century! Harry and Meghan who, am I right?”

You can’t help but smile fondly at the memory of your wedding. It is, albeit, a recent memory, considering your wedding was less than a month ago, but a memory nonetheless. With Michael being the Antichrist, there was no need for a traditional ceremony in front of a hundred or so guests. Instead, it was a small, intimate ritual, in which your everlasting union and devotion to one another was received under the watchful eyes of Satan. Gallant could complain all he wanted, but you wouldn’t have had your wedding in any other way.

“Just think of today as one giant, belated wedding reception!” you note cheerily, leaning into Gallant’s touch as he nervously flits his hands around your hair.

“How are you not nervous? You’re being presented as the fucking queen of the world today!” You shrug coyly, but hold up your hands so he can see how badly you’re shaking. “I stand corrected.”

A quick knock on the door is your only warning before the love of your life walks into the room. There’s only so much you can wear for the duties performed as the rulers of the world, and both you and Michael are wearing slight variations of the outfits that you wore for your wedding, as well as what was worn when Cordelia was killed. The only difference between the execution and the events that have taken place since is the smile that refuses to leave Michael’s face whenever he sees you.

“My angel,” Michael greets, merely holding an arm out before you’re up and in his grasp. “Your beauty, as always, astounds me.”

“Well I had a little help,” you gesture to Gallant, who sheepishly waves at your husband. Even after almost two months of living at the Sanctuary, he was still terrified of Michael.

“Nonsense, Gallant just knows how to accentuate your features.” The man in question lets out a quiet squeak at the compliment, busying himself with cleaning up his supplies. “Half an hour. You sure you don’t want to back out?”

You chuckle. “Michael, I’m already married to you. Why would being presented officially as Queen be the dealbreaker?”

“I am just making sure you’re aware of your options, love.” You kiss him quickly, embarrassed, as always, to be showing affection in front of other people.

“Rest assured, it’s never even been a thought to turn away from you. This is our destiny, and the will of your father.”

“Ooookay,” Gallant awkwardly gets your attention, “the sexual tension here is palpable, so I’m gonna head out. (Y/N), I think Mal has a present that she wants to give you before the official events.”

“Thanks for everything, Gal. I love you.” You let go of Michael to hug Gallant, your best friend squeezing you tightly.

“Love you, (Y/N),” Gallant mutters in your ear, pulling away and nodding at Michael. “Mr. Langdon.”

“Thank you, Mr. Gallant. You’re a very dear friend to my wife, and I take comfort in knowing she has such great support for the times that I cannot be directly by her side,” Michael says, causing a blush to rise to Gallant’s ears as he bustles out of the room.

“You just like embarrassing people,” you chide, lovingly hitting his chest.

“Maybe so, but you have to admit his expression was pretty funny.” He laughs at the look of begrudging acceptance on your face, hugging you to his chest as he relishes in this moment. “I’ll leave you so that you can see Mallory, but is there anything you need prior to that?”

“A kiss to ease my nerves?”

Michael smiles at you. “There’s no reason to be nervous, my angel. Like you said, you’re already married to me. Winning my father’s approval was the hard part of this ordeal.”

“I know, but I just--I want people to like me.”

“They are going to love you, just as much as I do,” he pauses momentarily. “Actually, less than I do, because I would be concerned if they were able to love you with their entire soul.”

“I love you, Michael.” He finally gives you your requested kiss, his forehead lingering against yours.

“I am yours, (Y/N). Body and soul.” Michael teasingly tilts your crown before pulling away from you. “I’ll see you out there.”

“I’ll be there.” His eyes meet yours once more before he disappears from the way he came, leaving you trying to catch your breath from the whirlwind that is an encounter with your husband.

Mallory comes in barely a minute later, as cautious as ever when she’s not entirely sure of a situation. Bounding over to her, you hug her tightly.

“I’ve missed you,” you mutter against her shoulder.

Mallory laughs. “We saw each other yesterday!”

“I know, but it’s nice to have my sister with me in the middle of this huge event.” Mallory strokes your cheek comfortingly, her soft smile prevalent as she fixes the tilt of your crown.

“How is...everything?”

“Good, I think. I’m nervous, but the hard part’s over.”

“Well, Mrs. Langdon, you look every part the Queen that you are.”

“Gallant said you had something for me?” Mallory nods excitedly.

“Yes! Do you remember the last night we were together, before Cordelia wiped our memories?”

“Of course I do.”

“I was wearing a necklace that Cordelia had given to me, one that had been passed down through the line of Supremes. I found it last month, when I was cleaning out my old room at Robichaux’s. Since I’m not the Supreme, there’s no reason for me to have it, so I’m passing it on to the Supreme.”

Mallory produces a necklace from the pocket of her dress, handing the jewelry to you. It’s more like a choker, the delicate, black lace band held together with two small clasps on the back. The large green emerald that sits in the center of the necklace seems to be capturing the light, with the bright flashes swimming in the jewel.

“Oh Mal, it’s beautiful.”

“The brooch is Mimi DeLongpre’s. When she was fading, she decided she wanted this to be sort of an heirloom for Supremes.” Grabbing Mallory’s hand, you give the necklace back to her.

“I want you to have it.”

Mallory looks at you in shock. “(Y/N), no! It’s yours; it’s your right as Supreme to have this.”

“I have so much jewelry as it is. I wouldn’t be able to wear such a beautiful piece as often as I would want to, and green suits you. At least hold onto it for me for safekeeping?” You know that’s the only way that she’ll accept it, but you truly think that this belongs to Mallory. No matter your feelings towards Cordelia, she had given it to Mallory with the intention that this would be hers.

“Alright, I’ll hold onto it for you. But once your baby’s old enough, I’m going to give it to her.” Now it’s your turn to be shocked as Mallory bites her lip, smiling conspiratorially.

“How--how did you know? I haven’t even told anyone yet, and I only found out last week.”

“Call it intuition.” Upon your searing look, Mallory chuckles. “Okay! You can only ask me for the same food so many times in such a short period of time without me getting suspicious. Plus, your boobs have already grown.”

You cross your arms over your chest at the mention of that, thinking back to at least five separate times you asked Mallory to go with you to get fried rice. “Damn, you probably knew before I did.”

“Congratulations!” Mallory hugs you once more.

“Don’t tell anybody, okay? It’s still really early, and Michael will be pissed if he finds out someone else knew before he did.”

“Ma’am?” A voice calls from behind the door. “It’s time.”

You meet Mallory’s gaze. “That’s my cue.”

“If you get nervous, Gallant and I will be in the front row. Just look at us if it’s too much for you.”

“Thanks, Mal.” She walks with you out to the main hallway, where the doors to a large event hall are tightly shut.

In the short amount of time that you’re left alone after Mallory transmutes in and before you see Michael, your nerves start to bubble in your chest. It must be a sixth sense of Michael’s, the ability to sense when you’re nervous, because he appears right as you’re starting to consider biting your nails.

“Miss me?” Michael asks.

“Every second I spend away from you.”

“Are you ready to meet your subjects?” Michael lifts his hand, preparing to open the doors.

“Wait!” You pull him towards one of the large pillars that holds up the ceiling, out of view of his servants.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, actually. Michael, I’m pregnant.”

Michael’s frozen expression as he digests this information would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that you dropped a bombshell on him. Finally, after an agonizing minute, he blinks rapidly.

“You’re...when?”

“Well I only found out last week, but I’m guessing it happened the night of Cordelia’s execution, or maybe the days after.” Michael can’t help but smirk at the reminder of just how well you christened your new home after officially becoming Supreme. “Are you happy?”

“Am I happy?” Michael repeats before a large smile breaks onto his face. “(Y/N), you’ve made me the happiest man in the history of the world. I could not be more happy about this. We’re going to have a baby!”

You squeal as Michael places his hands on your hips, lifting you up for a moment before setting you back on your feet and kissing you. “I was so worried that you were going to be upset.”

“How could I possibly be upset? You’ve given me the greatest gift; we’re starting our family, continuing our lineage, and ushering in the first generation of our new world. I love you.”

He kisses you once again, his hands going to your abdomen. “I love you too, but I’m only a couple months along, at most. There’s not really going to be any bump or anything.”

“Our baby’s still in there, regardless of if you’re showing or not.” You stroke his hair as he looks down at your stomach, trying to comprehend the fact that there’s a living, growing human inside of you, one that you both helped to create.

“My lord,” one of the servants calls from near the door, “are you ready?”

Michael straightens up, reassuming his cool demeanor after kissing you one more time. “Yes, we’re ready.”

Taking your hand, Michael leads you back to in front of the doors, as you both prepare to step into your new roles in this new world, with the knowledge of a new life that you’ve both created.

Tag List (as well as my everlasting thanks): @sammythankyou @queencocoakimmie @girlycakepops @ajokeformur-ray @pastel-cloudz @nana15774 @lichellaw @ultragibbycentralworld @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @jimmlangdon @langdonslove @omgsuperstarg @nsainmoonchild @mrsnegan25

#michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #ahs #michael langdon x reader #ahs apocalypse #ahs apocalypse imagine #ahs imagine #american horror story #american horror story imagine #american horror story imagines #american horror story apocalypse

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vincentbriggs · 4 years

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Hi, I just wanted to message you as I found your blog quite at random- a comment on another chain of posts about your old tailor boss? - and just wanted to say that you're the first other trans guy I have found who is into historical sewing and especially historical menswear. Most other historical sewing-minded people whose blogs I have found are not only cis but often just... wearing things their wives have made them rather than sewing them themselves. So uh, hi! thanks for sharing your work!

Hello and thank you! (Was it this post? That was my own post I was commenting on there.)

It is SO hard to find historical men’s sewing blogs, isn’t it? And it does make me rather sad that so many guys don’t sew their own stuff. Sewing costumes for yourself takes a huge amount of time already without sewing costumes for someone else too. I also wish there were more men sewing Fancy stuff, because there’s a good amount of variety in the women’s sewing blogs, but most of the men seem to skew towards military and very plain work clothes. But I suppose the lack of content I want is just more motivation for me to keep making and posing that content.

I have encountered a number of trans people on tumblr who are interested in historical sewing, but as far as I’ve seen none of them really post sewing content. (Although if you DO post historical menswear sewing stuff and you’re reading this, please say so in the notes!)

I do have a facebook acquaintance who’s a trans guy who does 18th century sewing though!

https://www.instagram.com/angryhistoryguy/

As far as I can tell that’s the only place he publicly posts his sewing stuff. He’s mentioned having other trans reenactor friends, so maybe he could direct you to more people to follow if you ask?

And @marius-pont-de-bercy posts 18th century sewing stuff from time to time!

Haven’t found many cis guys with historical sewing blogs/social media pages either, but there are a few out there who do their own stuff.

Bránn is one I chat with quite frequently, and he mainly does 16th and some 19th century. (blogspot, facebook, instagram) And there’s Zack Pinsent, of course. Victorian Tailor hasn’t posted in ages, but has some nice sewing stuff in the archives. And Drunk Tailor is another blog I’m vaguely aware of, though I haven’t read much of it because it seems to be mostly about military reenactment stuff that doesn’t interest me.Bjarne Drews does spectacular 18th century embroidery and sewing, but sadly I can’t seem to find a website or any pages where he posts stuff. I just see him pop up occasionally in the fb group “Historic Hand Embroidery”.

I’m sure there are more guys doing historical sewing that I haven’t found. Probably a lot on instagram, because it seems like that’s where all the costumers are these days. I have just learned that the instagram can be done without owning any mobile devices, so have made an account there too. (Also here’s a link to my sewing facebook page and my blogspot.)

I hope you find more historical menswear sewing people to follow!

#ask #sewing #transgender #chaoticgaycom

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

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Holy Hands | Houses With Teeth Update #2

HOLLA guess who’s back for another writing update!

If the title of this update seems unfamiliar--Houses With Teeth, what? who? when? why?--that’s because the last time I talked about this project on here was the first time, back in July! For a refresher, check out THIS very rambly post where I “intro” the project (very minimally as I had no idea what I was doing).

I still don’t know what I’m doing *exactly* but have made a semi-break through with this project and felt inclined to share. The last I spoke about HOUSES WITH TEETH at length was to vaguely describe what the project was. This book for those who don’t want to read the previous post, is the seventh book in my (very ongoing) series, Fostered. This book comes along five years after writing the first book in the series, after a major writing revolution.

I haven’t shared much about this on this blog because I wasn’t sure how to, but I really struggled with this project. HWT comes as the book after Rewired (book 6), which I finished drafting in March-ish of 2019. From then, until two days ago, I had no idea what I was doing with the series--if I could even continue it, and how I would continue it with all the changes my writing evolution presented. I chose to distract myself/keep busy with Moth Work, a spinoff of this series and my current novel, however, HWT sort of nagged in the back of my mind for many months.

HWT is actually one of the reasons I ended book 6 so hastily! After getting a few ideas for new scenes, I fell in love with the idea of writing my protagonist Reeve in a city by herself, with new people we’d never met before. These rose-coloured glasses worked to my detriment, as the premature idea took over my decision-making process before I could properly understand what I wanted from it.

After the end of Rewired, I thought everything was all fine and dandy! I had a new novel idea set up, ready to be written whenever I wanted. But something unplanned happened--I didn’t end up returning to the project. This is mostly because my desires for the book--whether to write it as a “real” book, or continue it as a semi-disjointed Fostered book (which isn’t shade to my past books, just the tea loool)--started to conflict. Though I started many openings (about 3k words of first scenes), nothing was sticking. I felt like I was misjudging my main character Reeve and making her more of a caricature than she really was. I feared I forgot who she was, and that her story was ending (scary!).

This is where I (recently) found the root of the problem. My mischaracterization of Reeve worked against me, as I’d done exactly what I’d feared doing--misjudging who she was. It had been a long time since I’d written with Reeve, a character I’ve written with since I was thirteen, and though I felt I knew her, I also felt like I’d lost her in translation. While I was back home a few weeks ago, I began re-reading a few passages of book six to get a feel for a character, which helped, but didn’t cause any revelations.

It was only a few days ago, when I helped @sarahkelsiwrites crack the plot of her novel that I felt an itch to try to crack mine as well. I first did this by paging through my (very minimal) notes for the book. This notes document consists basically of only two scene ideas I had that were a few thousand words long. Somehow, re-reading them helped me realize Reeve’s priorities, but most importantly, how much this book focuses on her vulnerabilities. It made me realize the root of her flamboyance toward the end of book six, and where her genuine side resided.

So this leads to the actual update!

Let’s first chat setting, y’all. This was a hard call to make, because I’d initially determined Reeve was going to be in NYC at the start of the book. The problem is, I’m *very bad* at writing real places, especially places I don’t personally know well. The thought of having to engage a five character cast (which seems small, but in a big city where they could be doing other things, feels big), and also have to write in this city accurately made the realism of this book too much for me to handle. I’m all for realism! But I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock that was “welp these books used to take place in an unknown unlocated subway station” to “so this book takes place in a real city”. It made too many things too real for me, the time period included (which is another crisis)! Setting this whole book in NYC overwhelmed me and I knew I wouldn’t do it justice.

The problem is, I’d planned this entire book around NYC. At the start of my initial plan of HWT, Reeve is supposed to live in an apartment above a bakery with two housemates who I’d already sort of gotten to know! I couldn’t just throw all of this away, especially since I’d set Moth Work in a direction toward NYC so everyone could meet up easily. So what did I do? After reading those initial notes I mentioned above, I made it all backstory. ;) And boy! Did this also crack the book open.

This was the first revelation I had with HWT 2.0. Allowing myself to move the book out of this setting, but still have the important parts got me to ask myself why Reeve would move to a big city with a new identity, and oh, did the pot start stirring ITSELF. I then decided to create a smaller town just outside of NYC where I can run amuck, lol. The town’s name is Wicker (for now) which I don’t dislike, though it hasn’t grown on me. I’m very bad at making up town names, and after many attempts, I settled for a very real word?? Lol.

This post is getting long, so I won’t explain the story unless y’all want to know, but I came to the decision that in this town, our fave soft boi Foster would have a nice house and his ideal cottagecore life, and all would be SWELL. Until!! This leads to our very hasty summary:

After escaping a toxic relationship, twenty-year-old Reeve disappears for the second time in one summer. She’s drawn to Wicker, a mealy town outside New York City, whose disappearances of affluent girls has caught her attention. The day she arrives, a sinkhole buries one of them in the front yard of her new home, a fixer-upper she shares with estranged friend, Foster. Quickly she falls prey to speculation by herself and others, who try to connect her to the tragedy. And even stranger, false recognitions as the girl in the ground, and the many other missing Wicker girls make her feel more and more like one of them--these alluring unknown women.

(A huge thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites for literally cracking this book open for me, and for all the conversations we’ve had regarding this project! Literally this book wouldn’t exist without Sarah!)

Now let’s get into the first thing I wrote for HWT 2.0!

Holy Hands is the prologue of Houses With Teeth, and marks a milestone for the first prologue I’ve written!

This prologue was a very impromptu thing. I drafted this a few days ago, and immediately felt something I’ve never felt writing any of the other (many) openings I’ve tested for HWT. It felt very right, but most importantly, I felt like I had Reeve back. It’s very possible for your own characters to hide from you (which is how I felt with Reeve), and though it’s taken very many months for her to really reveal herself to me, I’m so happy I’ve waited because I’ve never been so stoked to write her.

As y’all know, Reeve is a bit of a no-bullshit kinda gal. The last chapter you would’ve seen her in, she was lounging in a motel bathroom drinking margaritas on her own and you know? We love that for her! Except, after that chapter, I couldn't figure out who she wanted to be--the ‘no fucks given’ woman in the bathtub, or the vulnerable, porous person she often was in earlier books. I love no fucks given Reeve, however, I think I got caught up in her no-fucks-givenness that I missed the time she does give fucks (which is! often!). This prologue really opened me up to her, and I feel a closeness to her that I haven’t felt in a long time.

The prologue itself is rather short. It’s about 1300 words pre-edits, and I wrote it in! one! sitting! A phenomenon! We begin as Reeve is getting out of a taxi to enter her new home, AKA her old pal Foster’s house. She invites herself after a horrific encounter that scares her out of NYC and closer to her old pals (who she’s estranged herself from). Reeve outlines first, the disappearances of these affluent girls, and then fixates on Irene, her future housemate, whom Foster describes as many things that summer. Reeve is semi shook by Irene because she’s startlingly pretty and also startlingly looks like?? her?? (Reeve is just into herself? Who knew?)

Excerpts:

Here are a few excerpts from the prologue that I kinda dig! Here is the first paragraph:

Four girls went missing the summer the ground opened up. I was the unofficial fifth. They were girls I knew, in some iteration at least. Girls who wore their hair down, collars up. Anklets from their football boyfriends, like voguish ball-and-chains, pretty lingerie no one would see for at least another decade. Things I’d never worn, but wanted to wear. They were wealthy girls with the kinds of parents who dressed them in tights and midi-skirts, sent them to boarding schools, paid for piano lessons just to display a trophy. Girls with parents who wanted synthetic children. Girls who lusted over the romance of marriage—the ultimate form of female liberation. Girls who cast spells with each other and chose their friends based on zodiac signs, the amounts of vowels in their names. Girls who kissed each other in secret and stayed missing until they wanted to be found. None of them knew me.

This is a description of Wicker (CW: a bit of a gory descriptor):

That summer was pallid and bitter. Wicker sat in a valley an hour outside of New York City, and rarely caught sunshine. The locals explained it had always been like this—anemic, unexciting. Women came here to raise quieter children, and those quiet children threw stones at each other’s eyes to see who’d go blind first. The first one who did was found floating face-down in the creek behind the church and the women and children left hastily. It worked in waves like this: people coming, people going. Wicker was empty and both full—of the dead, and alive. I’d chosen it for this reason.

Here’s an excerpt that comes right after the previous (all of these actually make up the first three paragraphs lol, TW: eating disorders):

The cabbie I’d given the last of my savings to took my bag out of his car trunk and walked it up to the house. It was one of the few nice days in Wicker, one of the last while I was there. Sunshine slit my face in two as I watched myself in the cab’s reflection. I reached for my cigarettes and realized too late that I’d left them back at the apartment. That summer, I was the thinnest I’d been. The hollow ache of me more of a victory than a loss. I know why I stopped eating in those first two weeks, why every meal Foster would later serve me in that house felt cryptic, and it had something to do with the body they never fully recovered. I wasn’t hungry when I’d gotten to Wicker; I wasn’t hungry for a long time after.

Some Foster gentleness (I missed him!):

Chickadees chattered in the birdfeeder Foster had set up a week earlier. Though I hadn’t been on the road long, the drive had exhausted me. The midafternoon clouds pilled, hardly overcast, something I’d come to miss when the sun stopped coming. He hadn’t invited me to live with him, but didn’t object when I called to say I’d be coming up. It was the first I’d spoken to anyone who knew me as Reeve and not Evie in half a year. That day, he greeted me from the porch and took my single carry-on from the cabbie with a boyish thank you. It was one of the last times I’d see him wear it—his bashful gentleness, like he always felt the need to apologize even when everything was brilliant.

Here’s an intro of Irene, where the chapter title comes from:

Irene sat at the kitchen table inside the house. I caught her in glances through the doorway. The first thing I thought was that she’d look better as a blonde. A small thing who held her mug like she was holding a holy object. I’d later be haunted by those hands when I remembered how they looked by the time she was partly pulled up. Foster described her as many things to him over the course of that summer: a housemate, a partner, a friend, sometimes just a person he knew. She was reading something, something French—I could hear her reciting parts of it, at times loudly, like she knew she had an audience, at times at just a whisper, the most personal parts, I later found. I’d translate the line I’d heard most prominently later: Don’t let the house consume you.

“Cigarettes?” I said to the cab driver as he was nestling back into his car. When he didn’t hear me, I knocked on his window. The sound of it made Irene’s head bob to attention, though only for a moment. “Cigarettes?” I mimed smoking one when he only blinked at me. We spoke minimally on the drive up, though I learned more about him just by looking. Two daughters, their pictures pasted neatly on the dash. Candy coloured flyers for take-out restaurants jittering against the AC’s shutter. In all that time, I hadn’t learned his name.

When he rolled up the window, I had to jump back so my nose didn’t get clipped. The sun shifted through the glass in wisps, like cobwebs, and my face disintegrating from the surface of the glass was the last thing I saw before he zipped away.

I was surprised to see Irene standing on the porch next to Foster when I looked up. My cheeks warmed. The cabbie’s drive-off had embarrassed me, and I realized how I looked to her, a woman I didn’t know, that I already wanted to know. A bit pathetic. Frazzled. A city person who couldn’t navigate a city. A weak woman—already needing a fix on her first day of a new life.

“I’m quitting,” I said, even though she hadn’t said anything. In the sunshine, she was prettier than I wanted her to be. Her hair hip-length, a length I’d always been too impatient to achieve. Wearing a camisole and a midi-skirt. Pearls in her ears, like the others wore. In New York City, she would’ve been plain to me. The kind of girl I would’ve marked up with a pen in a magazine. Outlining her hips as to say they weren’t good enough, squiggling over her eyebrows because her face was too pretty for a body so average. It wasn’t long after she was gone that I became mistaken for her.

And here’s a bit from the very end of the chapter:

The ground opened like a cracked egg, so slow at first, I didn’t notice. Some say she pushed me. Others say it was the other way around. It melted under us, and one minute I was thinking about how embarrassing I was, how crude it was to still be addicted to cigarettes, and the next, there was a belly in the ground and Irene was somewhere in it. Her dark hair wisping around her, like a tornado. How I thought she’d look better as a blonde. Holy hands, camisole, midi-skirt, pearls in her ears. This was all I’d ever know of Irene. A body was found the summer the ground opened up. I still don’t know exactly who she was.

So that’s it for now y’all! Obviously lots of stuff is subject to change, but I’m finally feeling confident with this path (if I scrap all of this you will know lol)! I’m very excited for this book, and hope to take some more notes on it soon to see where it will go. For now, I’ve got an idea for the first chapter I can play around with, but I hope y’all enjoyed this little piece so far!

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writingupdates #fostered #houseswithteeth

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b-and-willie · 4 years

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Let’s Try This Again( with the completed post this time) Complications of Loathing What You Need

I know, I disappeared, and most likely will again. Serious interaction on blogs (re mine) seems to be severely lacking so there seems to be very little reason to plug on and share intimate posts publicly.

So why now? Well actually I write this post almost 2 years ago, and life has a funny way of putting us back in places we need to fix over and over again until we get it right. To be frank I highly doubt I could compose a post these days. I'm rusty in so many areas. Covid life has put a hit on our dynamic yet it shouldn't because we have more time together- too bad our minds seem to have a constant drum in the background that seems to drown out much of our desires at the moment....

Anyway I read in a comment about a month ago something to the affect of " I read blogs sometimes and think of how sad people's lives are". I am sure the person commenting didn't mean it as a damaging comment. I want to point out before I continue trying to resurrect my morning's post in my mind again a few things. I would hope that no one reads my posts and feels sad for me. I will say that despite the struggles Barney and I have encounter since and even because of starting ttwd, it has changed me in ways I will never ever be sorry for. I will admit at times it seems to have caused strife between the two of us, but as I have said before, ttwd is more of a magnifier of issues that already exist more than it is a problem unto itself. Ttwd has allowed me to unearth myself;my true, authentic self, and even in the future if for some reason we can no longer live this lifestyle that knowledge and feeling will never be taken away.

Yes it has bettered our marriage but often not in ways I read about here and there. Sure sex is more frequent and more creative. But honestly that is a byproduct of me being less guarded and allowing intimacy into our lives. Anyway, that isn't why I wrote this morning. I wrote this morning because of a few things I was reflecting on in the past 24 hours.

The first being....

Loathing What You Need

Such an ominous title right? Here's the thing, I do LOATHE what I need. This isn't a post about questioning my need for submission ( though one might argue it could be one questioning my sanity). I don't fault anyone out there that is currently questioning their need for submission, I have been there countless times, but thankfully that ship has sailed! One LESS complication in my life.

No I mean I loathe the things I have to do to cultivate and maintain my submissive heartset. Do I enjoy being spanked? HELL NO! I mean not even a reset-though slower to start therefore easier to take in the long run it isn't a fun adventure. Barney has and will employ BDSM tactics(?) to achieve a certain level of resetting as well. And while I endure and my body often betrays me to indicate I enjoy it, it isn't something I crave. ( Though I am not a huge fan of 'vanilla' sex...I am more referring to the slight torture aspect lol). What I do crave is the power exchange that is created in both of these scenarios. Do I find it 'yummy' to be told to get on my knees, or kneel- nope. Do I find it enjoyable to wearing a plug while vacuuming, kneeling on pebbles in a freezing corner, being told to get off the computer, eat this, don't eat that, wear this, phone me if you want to have a drink/buy something/leave the house ...blah, blah, blah....Can't say I do. No doubt my face generally indicates that as well. BUT what I do enjoy is the benefits of doing these things- um more than the relief that I might be punished if I don't. The benefit of, for whatever crazy reason, keeping me unguarded. The benefit of being constantly in my husband's 'cross hairs'. The intimacy that is created because I have submitted to his wants, especially because I don't WANT to do them.

This isn't to say that when life is grand in the Submissive World of Willie, that I can't enjoy some aspects of submissive acts. Some things, chore lists etc, actually become more meaningful for me. Some days that meaning might just be that I accomplished them despite myself! lol . It also doesn't mean that I don't anticipate the needs of my husband without prompting as I do enjoy that but to me that isn't submission.

Do I have thoughts during the day like, " Well I wish he'd just ....." yes, yes I do. Now how confusing is that? I loath doing it, but please tell me to do it. (Of course it goes without saying the fact that he SAYS those 'things' need to be done is a large part of the process as well) Those of you out there that can follow my crazy rant here would probably understand it for what it is. For me it is the end goal feeling, not the things I need to do to get me there that is the reason for the submissive acts. I understand that there are subs out there that LOVE and Crave the acts themselves, for what they are. And I am generally a people pleaser so there is that too. But I mean they love it, and I say "Good on you!" I think sometimes life would be so much better and easier for Barney if I did just gleefully spring into action EVERY TIME. I don't. As Barney said, " You are 100% submissive - 95% of the time". It is the 5% that he tends to see now.

(Here is the don't feel sorry or 'sad' for me portion of the post )

The last month has probably been one of, if not the most difficult months in my entire life. I know it has been THE most difficult month in the last 21 years. There are a number of factors which have contributed to this outstanding statement,but in truth the hows or whys really aren't important. It will be a very long time for some factors to be removed, and IF other factors can be fixed they will take a long while with a lot of work as well. I am generally not one who can sit by and wait for life to work itself out, or to watch on the sidelines- sadly some of these situations require just that.

The one thing I can actively work on is our relationship. It has taken a direct hit, and in some ways there was no avoiding it as focus had to be put in other areas emotionally. However in doing so it created a situation where my submissive self became barricaded deep inside. The dial was switched to Personal Survivor Mode. See the big issue there? PERSONAL....not exactly a great word to use in conjunction with ttwd dynamic. So locked was this dial on the Personal Survivor Mode station, things Barney used to see as indications that I wasn't where I needed to be became a bone of contention. Resentment. The dreaded word of any relationship! Why didn't I JUST DO IT??? Were his thoughts. It is my need after all why don't I just do it?

I was talking to a dear OLD friend last night. We often discuss various things but last night was a different kind of conversation, probably due to sheer emotional exhaustion on both our parts. We started discussing our submission in a way perhaps we haven't in a while. One thing she mentioned to me in reference to something else was, the fact of how fortunate we were to " have experienced the benefits and beauty of submission". A light went off in my head this morning thinking of that (yeah I'm a bit slow these days). That is what has been missing these past few months. Right before the house of cards started crumbling down around us, we had had a pretty wonderful week. Unfortunately the pressure one felt coupled with and because of the fulfillment of the other, seemed to cause issues immediately after said week. I felt deeply during that week. I felt free and myself again, even though I did screw up, and question myself as to why. I felt it. I felt the benefits and beauty of it. I was once again A submissive not merely BEING submissive (and that is okay if you identify as the latter- I don't mean to put a public hierarchy on it, I am only referring to my personal feelings of self).

For the last while,and again somewhat due to life circumstances, I haven't felt fulfilled in or with my submission. This morning I was punished, sigh AGAIN, which you know is part of the deal right? It was physically a challenging punishment to take as I had been severely punished yesterday and that had yet to leave me. The severity wasn't due to my act that got me punished but because of my 'act' WHILE being punished. If you are new here or you know forgot- I tend to be a bit of a hard head which later in the day after my bravado wears off and my butt thaws is NEVER a good thing. After my punishment I was told to reflect on how I was currently feeling and tell Barney when he asked.

Okay ladies and gents this is generally NOT a good thing for us! LOL. At least not of late. Barney should really know by now that he shouldn't ask questions he doesn't really want to hear the answer too! My response was I felt resentful. I was punished and I deserved to be based on our dynamic. I am not denying that. I felt resentful because I feel like maybe he is putting me in a position to force his hand- literally. He is trying to get us back on track. He is being consistent with punishments, but for me, the punishment is a result of something else not working, or being acknowledged. Please don't take this for me BLAMING Barney for my actions....though I suppose it does sound like that doesn't it? These are actually his words from the not so distant past. These punishments are isolated incidents. Without his active dominance after, there is a void.

I never tested Barney when we started ttwd. I know I have mentioned that countless times. I am no saint. I just didn't do it because he said if he ever thought I was testing him, he would end our dynamic. I guess that stuck with me. Have I 'poked the bear'? Yup. And as I have also said, I didn't test him because I was afraid that he would 'fail' and then where would I be? In addition to that, for years I loved just doing what was required of me. That along with self analysis was enough to help me discover who I was deep down. But as life changes, and discoveries are made complications arise. We are all organic in nature as are our relationships. Those who choose not to continually adapt may eventually fail. ( If you are married to a pain in the butt like me )

In the past, though not often with a grand amount of consistency, red flags would go up if I was being punished. Honestly I am an emotional creature (shut it) and punishments often are not a deterrent for me. What I mean to say is 'in the moment' I tend to forget that my butt is going to fry, or I will be unplugged (electronically) because of my words or actions. Naturally over time Barney began to see punishments as being a failure on his part because to him I am not fearful of them (ask me right before on day two and see how NOT fearful I am of them). I now fear the red flags are not being seen, just the red ass. The building on dominance from the ultimate dominant situation, has been missing. (Save today, but I had already started to write, so just go with me on this one).

As I stated earlier, when situations arise and we find ourselves where we currently are, I tend to see things as isolated events. One event not really connecting to another. Barney tends to fixate on one 'type' of dominance during these times. For example punishments and reactions. However, when things are running as smoothly as they can here

(pretty much as smoothly as this)

Barney can multitask in his domination. Though punishments are rare in that 'euphoric' state...lol

Here's the thing....there are so many conflicting messages being transmitted out by me...even 5 years in.

I need this, but I hate aspects of it

I want you to make me, but I don't want to do it...but I will because I want to.

Make it your own, but don't forget how it affects me

Consistency with punishment is required for effective results- but it isn't all about reacting and punishments

Cultivate but ....

And when we are in a good place, these messages don't seem to be so loud, but when we go off course, everything seems to cause hurt, frustration, and the world's worst secondary emotion- anger!

All of these things of course can be talked about. The issue really becomes not only putting it into practice, but a practice that BOTH can see.

The issue with 'falling off of the wagon' is the interpretation of the past. What if one is clinging to the successes while one is clinging to the failures? What if the one clinging to the successes is also affected deeply by the failures, and is holding back moving forward because of it, yet indicates that the other SHOULD just push through?

YUP....clear as mud.

We are fine (yes the dreaded word). Barney is holding true to what he currently can. To be honest it is me. I am the issue. I can go on and on as to the whys I believe I am the hold out but I'm not entirely sure that would be helpful. After all it would only be my interpretation of events. So the whys to me (for once in my life) aren't as important. I have to just put one foot in front of the other and follow along- doing the best that I personally can. But there is the issue, can/ want/ need....sigh what if some of it I loathe and after so long of not believing it mattered if I did or didn't-( you know "If a tree falls in a forest..." )how do I convince myself I should; that it will matter? At the very least to me once again?

#d/s #submission submissivestruggles

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sitonmyhot-seatoflove · 5 years

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what are your absolute fav queen fics/queen writers? i feel like i’ve read everything://

I got you bby, sorry it took me like. a week to reply? I started making a list but got distracted and started reading and rereading stuff… but I got you. ya girl reads a lot of fanfic. so here’s a list - as comprehensive as I could get off the top of my head - of a bunch of queen writers I love and my fave works of theirs in no particular order. I’m sure I forgot a bunch of ppl I love; make sure you check my fic rec tag for all recs!! I highly recommend every fic I reblog tbh (and you can tag search for specific pairings and stuff). for now, here are some of my faves:

@rogersben - nadia is one of the most talented writers I’ve ever encountered in and out of this fandom and I kinda wanna adopt her. perfect characterizations, v hot smut, heart wrenching angst, she does it all. pretty sure break up with your girlfriend is her magnum opus. also check out what a display and literally everything else she’s written. masterlist

@blindboytaylor - izzy and bella are a writing dream team; their individual series are both amazing and give me all of the feels and I highly recommend. Landslide is only on chapter two but it’s already v engrossing and so interesting and cool, much like the writers. masterlist

@supersonicfreddie - Just Fun was one of the first series I got really involved with on here. It’s angsty and lovely and perfect and has amazing side characters and a particularly fantastic reader. all of catherine’s writing is lovely and perfect, really. masterlist

@istheresomebodywhocanimagine - READ TOMORROW NEVER CAME. it’s such an amazing and underrated series. shoutout to Bang a Gong/Get It On and Death of a Bachelor. this blog has a very amazing, very long masterlist and I feel very blessed to be able to read their works tbh

@strangeandwonderfulconcepts - I’m a sucker for anything Chelsea writes tbh. READ. DRUMMING. LESSONS (if you haven’t already, which I kinda doubt?). also and they were roommates and also, I know ben isn’t queen, but I gotta include all of their ben x roger x reader. probably my favorite bxrxr out there. I don’t say that lightly. I take my ot3 very seriously. masterlist

@90sbrianmay (formerly theglowissodivine) - one of the first writers I ever followed and one of my favorites. made me fall for roger taylor. You Shook Me is an amazing series with a great reader. I Win and You’re Mine were a couple of my early favorites in the fandom and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read them. Forbidden is one of the best pieces of smut I’ve ever read. masterlist

@angrylizardjacket - fun fact: first queen/borhap blog I ever followed! their and then there was light series is gorgeous and angsty, and again, I know you said queen, but their bxrxr is one of the absolute best out there. gets heartbreaking sometimes, which is harder to find for poly ships and I appreciate it. masterlist

@deacytits - I love all their stuff, but I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read their present day!Brian fic Savile Row, and all of their sugar daddy!John stuff in particular. masterlist

@brian-roger-deaky-and-fred - Oranges is probably my favorite John fic out there. both parts are. one of my favorite fics overall, really. also need to give a shoutout to In the “Not Friend” Way. please make sure you read more of their stuff though. masterlist

@ogrogerbattle - I’ve read peaches and pearls so many times it’s embarrassing. must-read. it’s amazing and hot and the way caty characterized roger was so sweet? read it and you’ll definitely wanna read caty’s whole masterlist

@sweet-ladyy - someone needs to shut me up about Matters of the Heart already, but it’s the best goddamn series I’ve ever read. blake’s a genius. make sure you’ve also checked out Stormtrooper in Stilettos and blake’s entire masterlist tbh

@rogerfckintaylor - the actual queen of all roger taylor smut. ellie’s very much responsible for my falling in love with roger. also, no one writes present day!Roger like her, so check out Fur Coat, Lingerie and her masterlist

@gwilymz - I didn’t know I needed sub!Brian before I found this person, but I did. I really did. please do yourself a favor and go read all of their sub!Brian blurbs and hcs from their blurb masterlist. then read Helter Skelter. then read everything else. then come over and thank me. you’re welcome. masterlist

@hystericalqueenstan - She Rescues Him Right Back. did you know you needed a Pretty Woman style roger one shot? cause I didn’t, but I’m so grateful it exists. make sure to check out their borhap stuff too if you’re interested; it’s really very amazing. masterlist

@rogershamsandwich - I’m mostly a fan of heather’s because of her borhap writing, but then today I read Dancing on My Own and it was so beautifully written and heartbreaking and it made me want a cigarette so I had to include it. make sure you check out her masterlist if you’re into borhap though

@zodiacal-dust-and-curls - T’s the kinda writer that’s very good at making you feel things. read It’s Late if you wanna get super sad, and kindly refer to T’s masterlist for all other emotions. take your pick, T’s got them all

@queens-n-roses - Polaroid was one of the first roger fics I read on here and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it. it was one of the big reasons I fell in love with roger taylor. thank you, Zoe. here’s her masterlist

@rogersbabyyy - another actual angel for making me fall in love with roger. enemies with benefits has wonderful banter and I’m a sucker for that trope, and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read anatomy lessons. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything hotter tbh. masterlist

@redspecialty - everything, really, but huge shoutout to Dress. perfect, perfect, perfect friends to lovers. check out all of her masterlist though cause she’s amazing

@fruityfreddie - I still remember the feeling I got right after reading Angélique. it is so very beautifully written. the descriptions are so perfect istg I was tingling with anticipation by the end. I haven’t read part 2 yet, but I’m sure glad it exists and I can’t wait to catch up. masterlist

@heavymetallibrarian - highest recommendations are Cake and Bookstore, especially the latter. soft nerdy rockstar boyfriend roger is the only roger I care about, thank you very much. but make sure to check out their entire masterlist

anyways, big big thank you and so much love to all the Queen and BoRhap writers. I know the fandom’s been getting quieter lately; thank you all for working so hard and giving us so much content and keeping it alive. I’m a big fan of all of you and I hope you know how much we appreciate your works. and thanks for asking, anon, hope this helps you! I was as brief as I could. and let me know if you want BoRhap recs as well - this list could get twice as long!!

#this could have been so much longer i promise i tried to keep it short #long post #and i mean it check out my fic rec tag cause i read way too much fanfiction #i need to chill srsly

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bethsblog-languageandnewmed-blog · 5 years

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My Online Communities

It’s no secret that although Facebook is the most popular social networking site with over 2.3 billion active users, and was once the must have social media site, it has kind of become synonymous with middle-aged women over-sharing, re-runs of the same old Tasty videos, and pretty much just ad-central. Though one of the longest standing social networks and clearly the front runner when it comes to longevity and popularity, the site is full of affordances and constraints, with the majority of them, constraints as many argue that Facebook is pretty outdated - but I’m here to argue the opposite. I have more recently become aware of some of the innovative ways people have adapted Facebook’s widespread “popularity” - as let’s face it, it’s hard to find anyone under the age of 50 that doesn’t have their own Facebook account. And though young people may argue that this is a huge constraint (because who wants their nosey Auntie spying on their every move?) the fact that people of all ages, from all walks of life is actually, when it comes to online communities, is a huge affordance.

Facebook is being adapted in really innovative ways to keep up with the times and provide us with communicative tools to achieve things that were never before possible. Pretty deep? Yes. True? Absolutely.

If you think I’m being a bit vague - I’m talking about online communities. Boyd and Ellison (2008) stated that social networking sites are “web based service[s] that allows individuals to... articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection, and view and traverse their list of connections and those made by others within the system.” As soon as I read this I was reminded that I myself, am a member of three specific “online communities” in particular, each with their own very different purposes.

These groups and the media they share are rich in content, with the ability to react to posts, use polls and of course emojis, restricting the constraint of context and allow users to communicate how they are feeling with almost no ambiguity: this in itself has affordances and constraints - because I don’t think many people would be too pleased with a “sad” or “angry” react on a personal post, or a “haha” react on a sad story - so this can bring problems, but these are in the small minority. These little “reacts” are a great tool to eliminate the constraint of contextualisation and are used in my online communities consistently.

GIRLSMOUTH

Now girls, if you haven’t heard of this one, let me tell you, you’re missing out on some top quality entertainment. In a nutshell, Girlsmouth is a private Facebook group that is strictly girls only. At the time of writing this, the group has 171,146 members, consisting of four admins and six moderators, who monitor the comments of posts they have approved to ensure that there is no selling, promotion, or horrible comments being made. The “founder” of the group, Chloe Todd, describes the group as;

“an empowering support group for women to bring females together rather than bash each other. #girlpower 💁🏼”

The purpose of the group is for members to post for advice, gain support and build relationships with one another. All women are welcome which means that the posts come from women all over the globe, wealthy or struggling, young and old. An example of a post made today is below, within an hour already 28 people have commented offering advice, regardless of the transaction costs of the “conversation” and of over 170,000 people having the ability to see and judge them on their advice and experiences:

On the whole, the group is very supportive and many members have actually built real life friendships as a result of coming in contact on the site. It is not uncommon for women to post their struggles - whether that be regarding their health, relationship or financial struggles, and many will come to their aid, offering support and even in some examples, a place to stay, money to tide them over and offerings of friendship to people at their lowest points.

After being on the group for a while, you start to recognise names and faces and become familiar with people’s stories and struggles and even become a bit invested in some of the stories - a particular stand-out story to me is a girl that has been in hospital for over 13 months now, who has been sharing her story and the challenges shes faced.

Not all the stories are inspirational and moving, and to be honest, this is what I love most about this online community. When trying to find examples of posts to add it took me over thirty minutes to find at least five acceptable ones for an academic blog: I’m talking posts that didn’t mention polls on sexual encounters, disgusting flat mates and family meltdowns and every swear word in the book. As well as these, random questions about people’s favourite foods and make-up are regular features, but that’s all part of life too and really reiterates the idea that people come to Girlsmouth looking to connect and relate to others. I can guarantee now matter how wild or weird your story or post, there will be a group of women on Girlsmouth ready to relate to you. And that’s what makes Girlsmouth so great at what it does - and a huge source of entertainment.

In summary, Girlsmouth is pretty much the best procrastination there is. But aside from that, it reminds us that whilst social media may be full of unattainable goals - whether this be in our appearance, holidays, relationships of financial situations, at the end of the day, we are all just human, and we could all do with a bit of advice and support sometimes - even if it is just about which Diet Coke tastes best (which is obviously full fat instead...)

READING WOMEN WALKING HOME

The second online community I am part of is a pretty new development, and if you live in Reading (which considering this is a university blog, is all of you) you need to join this group. With 2538 members, including University of Reading security team member Steve, this group was created with the purpose of warning other women about the strange and worrying behaviour of members of the public to ensure we can all stay safe. Unfortunately, there are multiple new posts daily, with women experiencing harassment, break-ins and burglaries on a daily basis.

Some may argue that this group does nothing but scaremonger, possibly stating that ignorance is bliss, as they say - but I couldn’t disagree more. As women it is our duty to stand together in the face of such adversities, and in a world where we are at risk simply from walking home from a lecture in the middle of the day, no precaution is too much. This feeling of support and community is exactly what we need when facing these issues.

Thankfully, this support group is not just something that is happening at our university. The group was inspired by The Tab newspapers article on another “Women Walking Home” group chat. As well as a page for women to join, there is also a Facebook messenger group chat in which members are encouraged to message if they feel unsafe so another member can ring them on their walk home in another selfless offering of support, between women with weak and strong ties alike. Some may argue that this group isn’t entirely inclusive because it is heavily orientated towards females, but this doesn’t stop the group from being an online community, as these are defined as a tool to enable users to “ articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection” (Boyd and Ellison, 2008) as aforementioned, and typically, males don’t get approached in this way. Males are present on the group as I have mentioned, in the form of the university security team. In fact, them joining the group could be a positive step, so that they are aware of what is going on, but this could also be negative as this could allow the members of the public who are engaging in this behaviour to become aware of the location of users and thus perpetuate the problem. So, in some cases, being inclusive of both genders is not of upmost importance.

This online community and utilisation of social media is a huge affordance of Facebook and social media, showcasing an amazing and innovative way to use the sites to stay safe. It’s also a great example of the constant development of social media and how we can use these advancements in everything we do. Which begs the question, is Facebook really as outdated and boring as everyone says?

LOST AND FOUND PETS IN BRISTOL/SOUTH GLOS

Finally, a group I have been a member of for a few years now: Lost and Found Pets in Bristol/South Gloucestershire. This group really epitomises the affordances of social media for me. With 30,208 members, this group is responsible for re-uniting thousands of lost, found and stolen pets with their owners, as well as re-homing pets with no where to go. The idea behind it is simple.

Lost an animal? Found an animal?

Simply post a picture, location or description and the tens-of-thousands of members will get to work for you.

Due to the longevity of the group, members and admin have a great relationship with one another, and its a recipe for success. Admin are aware of members and their location so that when an animal or pet goes missing or pops up in their area, someone can be on site ASAP. It really is as simple and effective as that. The admins are so invested in the page that they have been known to recognise pets that have gone missing years prior when their little furry face pops up on their feed - with one cat and owner being re-united after eight years! EIGHT! This group proves that miracles really can, and do, happen.

Never have I lost a pet (thank goodness) but the sheer thought of losing my dogs motivated me to join this group to ensure that if I ever do, I know that 30,000 people in Bristol are aware of it almost instantaneously and can assist in my search, with success. In 2015, 7000 pets were reunited with their owners from the group alone - even pets with no microchip are often re-united purely from the work of this group! If that doesn’t convince you that Facebook can be used for good, I don’t know what can. I think that it is a priceless and hugely innovative way to use social media - gone are the days of soggy “LOST” posters stapled to lamp-posts and trees and loss of reunion hope.

In summary, These communities are characterised by their complex nesting structure but this complexity and structure is what makes these groups so diverse, and so great: the variety of connections made possible by these communities is unparalleled. The media richness and participant framework within these groups, one many times a global level, allows users to be bound together by a common interest, concern or topic and though they may have no personal relationship with other users, referred to as weak ties, this factor doesn’t restrict their capacity to offer advice or engage in conversation, with mavens: who are people with access to things that are beneficial to others, and connectors: people who act as bridges for the facilitation of these things, working together to achieve positivity, costly or not.

These communities are the future of Facebook.

Dunbar’s number, who? We have thousands of online friends now.

Boyd, D., & Ellison, N. (2008). Social Network Sites: Definition, History, and Scholarship. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. 13, 210-230.

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askaceattorney · 5 years

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Dear Sinless,

I have no idea where that came from, for one thing. I’m neither almighty nor all-knowing, but I appreciate the praise (even if it’s supposed to be sarcastic -- I can’t really tell).

Dear sinyove,

You look familiar...

Anyway, that’s a good question. Sweating isn’t something you just forget how to do, so I imagine AJ Phoenix still sweats in nervous situations, just not as often since he isn’t involved in courtroom proceedings. Plus he works at a cold restaurant, so that’s probably helped to cool him down a little.

Dear sinyove again,

Sorry, but there’s no way for us to do that without answering it right away, so we’ll probably have to leave it as it was. We’ll change it if we remember, though.

(Song in Letter)

Dear CreatorOfSinyove,

That’s a pretty cool mashup, but I’m a little confused as to why you wanted me to call you by a different name. You can always send letters with whatever name you want if you log out of your account first. (Please forgive me if I’m missing something obvious here.)

Dear Ethan Starbright,

Cute! Unfortunately, I haven’t seen the play, so sorry for not getting the references.

Dear Ethan Starbright,

I'm not sure how I feel about Dahlia being Eliza... But a more important question, does that make Miles Burr? Or maybe Godot?

(Previous Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

I wasn’t sure if this was meant for Phoenix or for us, so I’ll go ahead and answer it. He’s saying he wouldn’t hire Shelly de Killer because he himself would end Kristoph. You’d better hope and pray we never have to see that timeline.

Dear skibot99,

It’s hard to say since I enjoy just about all of them, but my least favorite case is probably Turnabout Big Top. The characters were charming, but the story was slow-going, and the contradictions were way too hard to figure out sometimes.

Incidentally, my favorite case is Turnabout Time Traveler. It delighted me to see that the writers at Capcom still had it in them to make such a fun and imaginative legal adventure for Phoenix and Maya after all these years, and that neither of them had last their edge as clever and quirky crime-solvers. I also happen to be a homeless hopeless romantic, and the idea of a man rescuing his bride from certain death (and the two of them continuing to love each other despite his anterograde amnesia) was incredibly touching for me. In the words of Huey Lewis, “The power of love is a curious thing.”

Dear skibot99,

I honestly don't think I have a least favorite case, because maybe in one case I dislike how the story is proceeding (very slow or confusing), but I may find the characters very interesting, and vice versa.

However, my favorite case would have to be Rise from the ashes or any case from AAI2.

Dear skibot99 again,

I haven’t really seen enough of the anime to judge it as a whole, but from what I’ve seen of it, it’s definitely worth watching. I'd have to say that I prefer the games overall -- though, to be fair, I’d probably say that about any cartoon based on a game -- but the music, voice-acting, and animation are all pretty spectacular, and I love how many extra details it includes that would’ve been practically impossible to fit into the original trilogy games. The adaptation from game to anime is fantastic as well, but I definitely prefer the English dubs over the Japanese ones. Japanese is a lovely language, but hearing the characters speak English, rather than only seeing it, opens the series up to a much wider audience, and you’ve gotta love that.

Speaking of Japan, I’d say the best change to the storyline is having Phoenix and company actually live there instead of America, so we no longer have to wonder where all the Japanese culture is coming from or call it “Japanifornia” -- true, that inconsistency has made for some hilarious jokes, but at least now things make a little more sense.

As for the worst storyline change, it was sort of disappointing for me that Phoenix and Maya’s first encounter was so short -- they didn’t even say anything to each other until he visited her in prison. It was still pretty sweet, but Maya’s introduction of herself to Phoenix was one of my favorite parts of the game, so I was sad to see that cut out of the anime. I’ve never attempted to turn a video game into an anime, though, so I can let it go.

I do have to wonder why they thought they needed more than ten policemen to arrest Frank Sahwit, though...

Dear Bruce Goodman,

Aw, crud... I accidentally smudged an important part of this letter. And it was sent to us over a year ago, wasn’t it? Sheesh, I’m getting clumsy...

In all serious, I prefer not to show the names of real-life politicians on this blog, but I hope you can put that information to good use.

Dear Anonymous,

Let’s see...

Yep, that’s a pretty uncanny resemblance, but I think it’s just coincidence. I can’t imagine his mom letting him take on that sort of role, even if he had a stunt double.

(Picture in the Final Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

I hate to spoil all your hard work, but I’m afraid I don’t know which image link you’re referring to (unless you meant this one). Could you please clarify?

(Previous Letter)

Dear M,

Thanks a bunch, first of all. There’s a lot to be said about the Royal Family of Khura’in (plus I tend to ramble anyway), so I did my best to keep it short.

Secondly, you’ve raised some good points. I sort of snuck in the comparison to the Hawthorne twins at the last minute, so I didn’t give it as much thought as I probably should have. It’d be more accurate for me to say that I thought she was that she was too meek to disobey her sister (in fact, I went ahead and rewrote it that way in the essay).

I'm a huge fan of Iris, by the way, and I agree that she can be strong when the need arises, but there are at least a few things that led me to believe she still has a bad habit of caving in to pressure from others. First, while she never actually obeyed Dahlia, she chose to do whatever was necessary to keep her crimes a secret, rather than making the harder but wiser decision of turning her in to the police. Second, she was willing to cooperate with someone she barely knew (Godot), even to the point of taking a dead body and impaling it with a statue’s sword -- that took some guts, I’ll admit, but it also landed her in prison. And third, she was willing to take the fall for everyone involved in the plan to stop Dahlia in case something went wrong. Whether she decided to do that out of guilt for her past sins, or for some other reason, it was still highly questionable at best. Take the blame for a murder I didn’t commit and let Godot have his way? Sure, why not?

All that being said, I also believe that she managed to forgive herself after everything was out in the open. Most of Iris’s responses were written by someone else (the ones with lowercase tags were written by the Mod), but I guess I have sort of portrayed her as still feeling guilty about her masquerade, and that does seem a bit out of character now that you mention it, so I’ll try to keep that in mind for future letters to her. Thanks for bringing it up.

Also, while we’re on this subject, this comparison reminded me of this letter that I sent back before I was a moderator. It’s sort of heartwarming, isn’t it?

(You were so sweet sometimes, Mod... *sniffle*)

-Co-Mod and Mod Paups

#sinyove #ethan starbright #anonymous #skibot99 #m. artin #bruce goodman #mod post #co mod #mod paups

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authorjanellesamara-blog · 6 years

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Freshly: a meal delivery service

I'm back, bitches! I've had to involuntarily take some time off due to moving and getting settled, but I should be back on track now and have a new blog each week.

Do you want to know the shittiest part about moving? My new kitchen is tiny. I have half as many cabinets and nowhere to put all of my stuff. My counters, stove, and floor were piled with boxes for a couple of weeks while I kept bringing in more boxes and unpacking what I could. But there is no space! I had no room for my various baking dishes, all of my food, or my small appliances. I also only have ONE cabinet under the counter in which I can put pots and pans. One? Seriously? My canning pot lives outside in the storage closet now. I can't see any way that I'll have room to home-can apple butter this year.

I haven't had room or time to cook anything. And you guys, I fucking hate spending money on fast food. Also, the food is gross. It makes me feel disgusting, groggy, and fat. I also don't want to eat out at a real restaurant every day. So what the fuck is a girl to do?

Freshly. They send fully cooked, freshly prepared meals in individual servings right to your door. No pots and pans or even plates needed! All you need is a microwave, a knife, and a fork. I know what you're wondering, though... Is it worth it? Maybe...

The Good

Packaging

When I opened my first Freshly shipment, I was both stunned and thrilled to see THREE LARGE ICE PACKS! As a comparison, Hello Fresh only had one large ice pack with their deliveries. Home Chef merely contained one small ice pack. Blue Apron uses two large ice packs. The insulation in the box was good and it's biodegradable. I opened the top of the insulation and saw the first ice pack. Underneath, I found the first two packages of food. Then another ice pack, four more trays of food, and the final ice pack. It was packed very well and all of the ice packs still had some solidness to them.

The Variety

You can choose four, six, nine, or twelve meals a week. Each meal is one serving. I chose six different meals. The choices are immense. They had TWENTY-SIX different lunch/dinner choices and seven choices for breakfast. They always have a minimum of thirty choices every week. They blow everyone else I've seen out of the water. You just can't beat the variety offered by Freshly.

The Price

I chose six meals for the introductory price of $40. After my first two weeks, it would have gone back up to the regular price of $10 per meal, but I canceled it. After two weeks, I was ready to start cooking again and I didn't need these convenience meals. I also didn't need the expense of $240 a month when I'm trying to pay all of my bills by myself on a limited budget. (All of my husband's money is going toward his hair transplants. I don't care that he's bald, so I won't have my money going toward his vanity. He can pay for that dumb shit himself.) For people who are slightly better off than me, I think this is a really great deal. A cost of ten bucks is way cheaper than a restaurant, and the food is just as good. Reheating a freshly cooked meal in the microwave is so much easier than cooking from scratch. It also tastes far better than cheaper frozen dinners.

The Portions

Everything was perfect portions. I didn't have too much, and I was not left hungry. The size of the chicken breasts and steak were just right. The potatoes, green beans, rice, etc. were all good amounts. I liked that I wasn't still hungry like after a frozen dinner, or stuffed to the brim from the huge portions in restaurants.

The Taste

I enjoyed most of the meals I was sent. The chicken with risotto and spring peas was fantastic. And I am such a picky eater. Picky enough that I was hesitant to order the peppercorn steak. I'm not a big pepper person, but I'm really glad I got this one. I didn't have high expectations for a microwaved steak, but it was fucking amazing! The meat was tender and juicy. I did not encounter large chunks of pepper, which was also great. The gravy was quite peppery, but I didn't have the shock of crunching down on a hunk of pepper, and that is something I always hate.

The Bad and the Ugly

If you've read my blog before, you might have figured out that I don't see the world through rose-colored glasses. But, I'm not a pessimist, so I don't see the world through shit-colored glasses, either. I'm a realist; I don't wear any glasses. I am also a perfectionist. I strive for perfection in all that I do and I frequently fall short. I'm hardest on myself, but I know I'm hard on others, too. I try to be fair, though. I try to present both sides. I make a real effort to not just bitch-bitch-bitch about things. Hence, the good news first. Next, I'm going to tell you what I didn't like about Freshly.

Nutritional Content

Freshly touts itself "Deliciously Healthy" on the sides of the large box it's delivered in. On the small sleeves each meal has around it, it says things like "Incredibly fresh, gluten free, nutrient dense, 100% all natural, no refined sugar, no artificial ingredients." This sounds awesome, right? It is. Really. It is great. They even use cage-free eggs! So why do I have this under bad and ugly? It's not low-fat, low-cholesterol, or low-sodium.

I have picked at random three meals from the six I got and added together the nutrition labels. This is one full day of meals provided by Freshly--a breakfast and two entrees.

Calories: 1540 (cool)

Total Fat: 74g / 129% (not cool)

Sat. Fat: 31g / 155% (not cool)

Trans Fat: 1g

Cholesterol: 675mg / 259% (sooo not cool)

Sodium: 1270mg / 75% (not cool)

Carbs: 105g / 36% (umm...wha?)

Fiber: 13g / 52% (not cool)

Sugars: 21g (not bad)

Protein: 98g (cool)

Vitamin A: 225% (cool)

Vitamin C: 105% (cool)

Calcium: 55% (meh)

Iron: 60% (meh)

That's it. Those are all of the things on their nutrition label. So, yeah. Nutrient dense, if you count bad things as nutrients, too. I just... I can't. I can't eat like that every day, even if I could afford it. Six out of seven breakfasts were omelets with super high cholesterol. What? No egg white omelets offered? Sorry. I'm out. And 75% sodium? No. I shouldn't have more than 800mg of sodium a day, so that's closer to 150% of my daily allowance.

Now, as I look through the three I didn't choose to add together, I do see some lower bad numbers. Here, I'll just show you.

The chewed-up cardboard is not from me. My cat likes to gnaw on paper and cardboard because she's a freak. I also couldn't read most of the chewed-up label for the turkey with quinoa stuffing that I got. It was really good, though.

Another thing I didn't care for was the fact that I had only 24-hours between receiving my first delivery and the cut-off for choosing the meals for my second delivery. As a result, I wound up deleting a meal I enjoyed and repeating a meal I did not. Yeah...

Finding Balance

Freshly isn't right for me to eat every day or every week, but it might be perfect for you. It is fantastically convenient for people with busy lives who need to eat healthier than they do. These meals are great for people who want homecooked-style meals that don't take a long time to prepare. I feel like this food is oh, so much healthier than eating fast food for every meal. It is easier than cooking every meal you eat from scratch.

It takes less time than going out to eat at or pick food up from a restaurant. They are great for taking to work and tossing into the microwave. In fact, Freshly is even better than leftovers! These meals seem to be cooked to just the right point where they finish cooking as they reheat. You know how when you reheat your leftovers, they're overcooked and not as good? These aren't overcooked. They're cooked just right, as long as you follow the directions. Letting it rest after cooking is important to let it finish cooking.

And the cost? Heeeeyyyy! It costs the same as many ingredient delivery services! Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Home Chef, Sun Basket, etc. etc. all have options that cost $10 per serving. Those are things you have to cook yourself, and these are already cooked! So, yeah... I think it is worth the price they charge.

Check it out here and get $20 off each of your first two deliveries. That's only $40 a week for six yummy, super simple meal.

I'd also like to note that none of the companies I review on my blog have ever compensated me in any way for writing about them. I don't do this for free shit. I do it to share my observations and experiences with others. I pay for these services just like everyone else. If you ever want to try one of them, why not use my links so I get a little bit off my next order for referring you?

#Freshly #Freshly meal delivery service #What is Freshly #Is Freshly worth it #Is Freshly any good

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drferox · 6 years

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20 Questions with Dr Ferox #23

Whelp, time for another blast of 20 questions and comments from the inbox. If you were brave enough to use your username I’ve tried to tag you (Thanks Tumblr) but if you were on anon, you’ll have to look yourself.

Would you folks be interested in me answering these sort of short questions in a video instead? Let me know in the replies. Now here we go!

Anonymous said: do u play mobile games on your phone, like animal crossing pocket camp? :O

No, should I? I haven't heard much about it.

@trisaratops45 said: Dr. Ferox, First off I just started following your blog and love it! I'm stuck using mobile so I can't see your faq information. I was just wondering if the clinic you work at sees any exotic or pocket pets? Of so what is your favorite to see and treat? Thank you!

Welcome! We don't see a huge amount of exotics at my clinic, we're not well set up for them, but ferrets are probably my favorites.

Anonymous said: do you follow any medblr blogs? and if you do, are you ever like 'thank goodness i don't have to deal with that' or 'man i wish it was that easy'? question tax: what is your favorite depiction of dragons from fantasy media

I actually had to go check which blogs I was following. No active medblr blogs in the list anyway. I often see real clients, in the flesh, and think 'Im glad i don't have to deal with that', especially when they describe to me their own gross medical problems as though I want to know exactly what's coming out of their orifices. All dragons are good dragons. I don't think i could pick a favorite.

@the-noble-banana said: What style of nail clippers are best for trimming a cat's claws?

Whatever you're comfortable with. I like these ones

Anonymous said: Do dogs get acne? Is that a thing? Just curious! Question tax: if you could shoot something out of your finger, what would it be?

They can get comedones with certain hormonal conditions (black heads) and can get pimple-like lesions with skin infections. I would shoot icy cold water out of my fingers. Great for hot days, and for stupid faces.

Anonymous said: Do you typically bandage and cover amputations? At the vet I worked at (I was only kennel so everything I saw was in passing) every animal who had limb amputation left after a day or two with the incision fully bandaged. My dog had her hind leg amputated and the vet (different one) had her in and out in under three hours and sent her home unbandage. Just out of curiosity is it case by case that you decide to bandage? Gave my mom a little heart attack seeing her all bloody and swollen

We might but a light dressing over them, but in an amputation of anything more than a toe there's often not much to bandage. Limb amputations are typically very high up the limb in dogs and cats and it's hard to bandage something in that position. Also, sometimes dogs eat the dressing.

@crimsonrose95 said: I'm not vet med, but I am into chemistry and physical sciences and the ask talking about chemistry being inconsistent is so weird a thought to me. Biology is way less consistent than chemistry like chemistry is mostly math with elements and compounds while biology is mostly names. It's just really interesting how most people start to think a science they don't like and have trouble in is just the science being completely inconsistent to them. Me included.

I get what you mean. Chemistry has a fairly distinct set of rules, even if they're rules you've not encountered outide of chemistry before. I was never a fan of physics, but it is consistent. Biology likes to bend rules. Life finds a way.

Anonymous said: Why does my cat yell when I try to use the bathroom alone? Question tax: what's your favorite thing about Australia?

Possibly he thinks you need moral support? Or that there's demons in there. My favorite thing about Australia is our universal healthcare system and gun control.

@foxtrottarts said: How common is dewclaw removal in dogs, and what are the benefits/downsides?

Hind dewclaw removal is relatively common at the time of deseing, if they're the sort that flop all over the place and lack a boney attachment. Front dewclaws are usually left, unless removed for a medical reason. I've written about it before here. https://drferox.tumblr.com/search/dewclaw

Anonymous said: Can a dog still have the MDR1 gene if they have never reacted to those drugs in the past (lets says a dog that has regular flea prevention of selemectin)

If the dog has only had a popular flea product containing selamectin but has never had ivermectin, yes they could still have it. MDR1 dogs typically don't react to that product, nor do they react to the annual heartworm injection.

Anonymous said: Hello, I had a question as google only takes me but so far, and the results were iffy at best since it's difficult to locate a vet or someone in a position who would know the answer. How much of a danger is animal or human saliva to pet birds? Some people say kissing the bird, or having another pet such as a dog lick/groom them is an issue, but I'm just lost on if any is true, and would love to find the answer. Thanks a ton in advance since it's all pretty confusing.

It is a potential issue. Carnivore saliva contains many bacterial species that can be devastating to birds or other mammals even through relatively small abrasions. Carnivores should not be permitted to interact with prey species and birds. Cats are especially risky because they're so pointy and because they effectively coat themselves in saliva when grooming. You can find some more information here.

Anonymous said: Hi Dr. Ferox, we recently had to put our cat down due to health issues. We're pretty sure he had FIP as the last week of his life he had every symptom but one. A website we saw said the virus can live in the environment for weeks afterwards and I was wondering if you knew any sort of approximate time. We aren't ready for another cat yet but occasionally foster a kitten and don't want to bring one into the house and have it get sick

I typically reccomnd 4 months, and replacing bedding, litter trays and food dishes. While you are probably fine with 3 months, given the incurable and devestating nature of FIP (Feline Infection Peritonitis) I prefer to err on the side of caution.

@kumoi-no-hikari said: I got a couple rats a few months ago and the lady I bought them from mentioned that most vets don't know much about rats and will probably do more harm than good unless the situation is extreme. Is that true? They haven't had any issues, but I'm worried about traumatizing them or wasting money if they ever have a problem.

Some vets will certainly be better equiped or more interested in treating rats than others, but you'll only know if you call around and ask them. If they're not keen on seeing rats, they might know somebody who is. I think saying 'most vets don't know X' is unfair when you look at the diversity of vets in the world. Call around, plan for the worst ahead of time.

Anonymous said: Do you know how taxidermy works? I plan this route for my cat when she's passes, do I have to contact them before the body stiffens or position her first?

No idea. But I would contact them well in advance incase they have waiting lists or something. But I would think very carefully about whether taxidermy of a pet is something you definitely want.

Anonymous said: Hey there! What’s your favorite brand of stethoscope?

The Littman is what I use and have been very happy with my Classic II.

Anonymous said:Our poodle mix loved grabbing a mouthful of food then running to the living room to eat it - not necessarily to be near us, he just would eat over carpet. Sometimes we'd rearrange the living room so it wasn't a direct shot from the dining room and he'd still run around the furniture to eat there. He also once pooped one piece on each stair when we were gone all day for some unfathomable reason.

There is so much that could be going on there, but since you didn't seem to ask a question I'm not sure what you'd like me to say.

Anonymous said: On the topic if dog eating things they shouldn't. A shitzu swallowed the end of a large chew bone whole and when she puked It up it was about the size of my fist.

Little dogs often seem to overestimate what they can safely eat. Westies seem to be the worst for this though, and are a common breed to see for stuff getting stuck in their oesophagus.

Anonymous said: About people thinking vets are scammers, my family was so bad with this when I was a child. I remember I had a sick kitten, I was around 8, it had some lung issues and I begged and cried to vet it and my dad said "pray really really really hard to God every hour, and maybe he'll bring a miracle!" and the cat died the next day :( I get so LIVID when people refuse taking their pets to vets for stuff that cannot wait. Makes me wanna slap those people senseless!

Your Dad sounds like a lazy asshole and a cheapskate. Even if god existed, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate being dialed up for a miracle like a pizza delivery.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that i recently adopted an older orange tabby cat (dsh) and he is large. like not just fat (which we are working on), but unusually tall and long. like. maine coon size. he has so far used his size to swipe bacon off a kitchen counter and remain an effective roadblock. he's very calm and sweet, i love my big fat baby.

Congratulations on your new addition! I'm sure your big orange boy loves you back too.

@mise-en--place said: Thought you might appreciate this. We got records on a cat today and on a previous visit they stated; "BCS 5/9. Cat appears to be about 7lbs through the gloves and towel." We got a good laugh, cat was actually quite calm for her visit.

I received a history for my old cat Dippa who had once very badly bitten this other vet that only said "Appears healthy in cage. Vaccinated in cage. Dr Ferox is welcome to come and perform a dental on her own cat any time she likes." I took that to mean "I'm not touching this hellbeast. You deal with her."

#20 questions #dr ferox #veterinarian #vetblr #animal death #death #pet death #taxidermy

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morethanmonotonous · 3 years

Text

MMXX

As I sit in my beautiful city apartment, sitting 48 floors (well, really 38 floors) above ground level looking over the vast and sprawling western Sydney suburbs, it is crazy to be writing another blog post summarising the year that has been, especially after reading last year’s 2019 post.

2020 was a wild ride, and it’ll be fascinating to see how 2020 is remembered globally as a year, and how much of the world wide chaos will continue into next year, given that after all, 2021 is just another collection of days strung after these has passed.

We rung in 2020 in a beautiful big house in the blue mountains with 14 amazing people, crawling down the hallway as slugs, drinking, doing too many drugs, and purely in love with life and each other.

We kicked off the year as we spent 2019, with lots of gigs, big plans of travel, and lots of social outings.

We went to unify in January with Ritchie, Brad, Maddie, Blake, and Elliot. it was the worst weather we have ever encountered there, and that’s a huge call for unify. The new venue was awesome but the 50km+ winds and torrential rain meant lots of time under the gazebo holding it together and listening to enter shikari on the speaker. There was glimpses of festival vibes, seeing Kubla Kahn, Knocked Loose, The Ghost Inside, and Columbus, but also lots of missing shows and general carnage. Also out tent leaked damaging all of our things but still, I wouldn’t have missed unify for the world. There was an amazing crew, with Steph and DJ, fruit and nut, and many other amazing people - what more can you ask for?

We were lucky enough to go to see Dealer, Tiny Moving Parts, Hellions, Crystal Lake, Northlane, and Trophy Eyes, and The Brave,

I started baking a lot more this year. Celia bought me the beautiful Christmas gift to do a baking stall in Glebe markets, which I fortunately managed to do in Feb. It was so fun and we sold so much and it just invigorated my love of making tasty things for people I love.

Keira and I also went to a yoga retreat earlier in the year which was awesome, it was great to spend time with her, even finding out she was pregnant! This year in October the family was changed forever in the most beautiful way with the birth of little Baby Ellie. My parent’s also sold their family home to move down to Canberra which was a big adjustment for me and us but they’re all so happy down there together and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to work from Canberra quite a bit to spend time with the family.

So now we get to the COVID summary I guess, it’s 2020 after all. In Feb we were kind of joking about this whole COVID thing, not understanding the scale of what was about to change in the world. I started working from home on the 14th of March 2020 and have only been back to the office for one day in between waves of outbreaks. It was a huge and at times very lonely and sad year having to cope with the few month lockdown, closures of gyms, and not being able to see friends. While in lockdown, I started to learn to make peace with being alone and being still. I started making bath bombs, cross stitching, playing lots more fish game, and finding crafts to make me happy. It has given me a huge appreciation of how hard the introvert’s life must be living in an extrovert world, being being forced into a introvert life for months was draining and exhausting. I spent a lot of time at F45 bootcamps and walking around the harbour looking at fish, listening to Enter Shikari and Bright Eyes.

The year made a lot of people weird in ways I’ve never seen before. Something like the Black Lives Matter protest is a good example. It was a fantastic thing that people were out screaming on the streets about inequality for racial groups and for indigenous rights, but somehow this became a polarising issue. People started denying COVID, becoming anti vaxers, Blake just didn’t reply to be for 6 months, and I feel like the left and right are so extreme and seperate now with the crazy media and information spreading, it’s interesting to watch. I feel like in the past I wouldn’t have even known my friend’s clear political stances, but this year, it’s top of mind for everyone and discussed frequently and fuck me it’s hard to be friends with literally anyone who sympathises with the right. I guess locking people up in their homes for a year does crazy things to them. But at least Trump got voted out, there’s always good things to focus on I guess.

Between waves Sydney opened up again to seeing friends. We forged a new little group of Jake and Jami, Matt and Jordan, and extra people at different times, but it’s sweet as it’s the first time that Ritchie and I have really made friends together and it’s so lovely having a new home with these left wing inner west emos that I didn’t know I’ve always needed. Celia and Tash have been beautiful constant support this year again and I’m so grateful for such amazing humans to share my highs and lows with.

I started seeing Chrissy in June this year, once gyms opened again and I wanted to start building some muscle and curves and because I realised I liked lifting heavy stuff more than cardio. It genuinely changed my life. I’m eating more than ever and feeling great in my body, and it’s amazing being focused on performance goals rather than aesthetic for the first time in 10 years. I competed in my first power lifting comp, where I squatted 64kgs, benched 39kgs and deadlifted 100kgs. I know these aren’t huge numbers but I was so proud of my little body for being able to do that (with body weight of 58kgs), and given that I’ve never thought of myself as a strong person. I haven’t missed a workout (except when I got my wisdom teeth out) since I started with her and I am proud of how I’m transforming my body and mindset.

We spent a weekend in May in Jervis Bay with my family for our birthdays which was amazing and the start of what I think will be a new family tradition. I really love my family so much and feel so damn lucky that I enjoy spending time with them so much.

We moved homes in June too, upgrading to a 2 bedroom and multiple balcony amazing apartment in the city, just up the road from our old place. Moving was so much damn work but this place is incredible and so much more amazing than I ever thought I’d live in. I’ll always look back at the Waldorf affectionately, as a beautiful place that we created a home in for the first time and shared with so many amazing friends. But damn this place is gorgeous.

Work was pretty crazy but also not at all. I’ve been at RB again all year this year, that makes almost 2 and a half years which is pretty big for me! I started the year by winning the extra miler award, and being generally very well celebrated as CSM, before being moved to being a NAM. Working under Dani was awful, and the job was literally the worst thing I could ever imagine someone having to do. The bullshit and admin and hours and pressure are something I would never wish on anyone, and after having frequent panic attacks and throwing up out of stress at Hyde park, I realised that life is too short do a job that makes you miserable. While it’s unfortunate that this took me 27 years to work out, I think it’s great that I got there and learned a very valuable lesson in work life balance and happiness. I had to resign from RB at that point, but conveniently, Amna resigned on the same day, making an empty role as CSM for Coles. I pushed for a senior title and now have an awesome job. While working under Chris isn't ideal in some ways, I have a boss that cares about me and a colleague (Ellie) who is smart and awesome. I’m happy working in an interesting and great job that makes me excited do go to work. And even though it won't be my forever job, it’s a great ‘for now’ job that I enjoy, getting great experience on the resume, and that will hopefully take me overseas some day.

I ended every other blog with hopes and dreams for the next year, and it’s a little sad that I’m so reluctant to do that this time, because I have literally no idea what’s to come next year. I really hope we will be able to travel and see gigs again, it’s hard having the 2 best things in the world ripped away from me. However, honestly, as long as I am surrounded by as much love as I was this year, I know that things will be okay and I’ll be happy.

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