#some of the things that happened to him were truly horrific and no wonder he's shied away from the public eye

[sophsun1]

Queer As Folk → Gale Harold | Out Of The Box Interview

#britin #queer as folk #brian kinney #gale harold #qaf cast #out of the box interview #gale and his special way with words will forever make me laugh if you know you know ;) #i will never ever understand these types of people who harrass actors and feel like they own them or an insight into their life #some of the things that happened to him were truly horrific and no wonder he's shied away from the public eye #also yes please return and play brian once more so you can fill in all those colours and layers to him

[nia-jul]

LATE NIGHTS AND STAR-CROSSED MARGINS

Jason Todd is the most beautiful boy in your lecture. Luckily, fate lands you a seat next to him

college!au, fluff, pining, happy ending

——————————————————————

This has to be some form of epic karma.

You’ve never been late to a lecture before. At least, not this late, where you’re sure Professor Levine will not hesitate to slam the two double doors in his face when you eventually make it there.

You’d overslept horrifically. After a night spent with your roommates over board games and shitty wine in cracked mugs, you’d been too tired to remember to turn on your alarms. You didn’t regret it. It was hard to find time to spend together, and even if it was just a couple of hours of UNO, it was nice to catch up. Unfortunately, the drinks your friend Wendy had kept pouring into your mug had lulled you into the best sleep you had in a while. Which, unfortunately, was interrupted by a confused knock on your door, a concerned friend wondering why you were still in bed so late.

Now, without a shower and the outfit you’d worn yesterday, you were practically running to the hall to try to make it in time. Feverishly checking your phone, watching the minutes go by, as you finally stop outside the doors.

You pause for a second. Do you knock? Just walk in? Professor Levine wasn’t necessarily strict. He’d never kicked anyone out before, but you’d never seen him angry. Would he even be angry? You didn’t know. God, you were being so dramatic.

You push open the door. Immediately, a couple dozen eyes lock on you, dishevelled and anxious at the door. You could die. Really and truly, just drop down on the floor and die. You glance at the professor. He just nods slightly, and you take that as a sign you’re in the clear. You start walking to your seat, relief flooding your veins, to see that it’s taken.

Your second dosage of karma. You’re not sure what you’ve done to deserve such cruel treatment. You sat in the same seat every say. Far enough front the front that you didn't get picked on, and far enough from the back that it didn’t look like you were hiding from Levine. You quickly scan the room and see the only spare seat is right at the very back. Right next to Jason Todd.

You knew who he was. Everybody in your literature class did, everybody at your university did. He was six foot tall, with hair that curled perfectly over his brown eyes, and a body that looked like it had been carved by the gods. As if that wasn’t enough, he was also nice. Boys that attractive were usually paired with a big ego and an obnoxious personality, but he had neither. He kept to himself, was polite and respectful. Jason Todd was like every guy you’d spent hours reading about and analysing for your English classes, the perfect man in every way.

Which, of course, meant he was also horrifically out of your league.

You take the awkwardly long walk to the back. You drop your things on the floor, and sit down. He flashes you a small smile and your knees feel weak. You hope the one you give him back makes you look normal. You fiddle around with your things, bring out your laptop and books, and sigh.

Crisis averted. You made it in one piece. You tap the power on button, turning your laptop to face you. Wait a little bit. And nothing.

It's out of charge.

You tap furiously on the button, as if it will somehow make something happen.

“Fucking shit.” You whisper, digging in your bag for the charger, that you know is not there.

You feel eyes on you, and you look to your side. Jason is watching you, an amused smile gracing his lips. You feel heat rise to your cheeks and you look away.

“Sorry, I just- I forgot my charger. And my laptops out”

He hums under his breath, low and deep in his chest. “Not your day, is it?”

“No, it’s really not. It’s where I take all my notes.” You slump in your chair, rubbing a hand over your face.

He slides a piece of paper over to you. “It’s okay. Professor Levine won’t call on you if you sit this far back. He takes offence. Makes him think you’re avoiding him.”

“Surely that would make him want to call on us.”

Jason shrugs. “He’s different like that.”

You huff. You open your anthology. You’re studying Keats, one of your favourites. Despite the constant reminders that your chosen degree would get you nowhere, you love literature, evident by the copious amount of annotations you’d done. It wasn’t part of the syllabus but you thought it was fun.

A hand reaches over, hovering over your book. Jason’s, bigger thank yours, with a large watch around its wrist. Not that you were checking.

“Can I look?”

You nod. You try not to watch his deft fingers slip between the pages (try not to think about where else they could slip) and write meaningless things on the sheet of paper he’d given you. You can’t focus on the lecture, only your need for his approval of your work.

“This is incredible. You did this all on your own?” His eyes don't leave the paper as he continues to flick through.

You laugh nervously, “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of free time.”

“Oh, I love this one.”

He points to Modern Love. You smile, nodding excitedly.

“Yeah, that’s my favourite! I don’t know why, but there's something so cool about one of the best Romantic poets ever writing a poem about how people put so much pressure on romance, you know? Especially in the era he was in.”

You mouth shuts. You laugh nervously.

“Sorry. I'm rambling.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s cute.”

You don’t have time to try and dignify a response through the shiver that runs down your spine, because Professor Levine clears his throat loudly from across the room. You look over and he’s staring right at the two of you (who are considerably closer than you were when you’d sat down).

“Is there something more interesting you two are discussing? Like perhaps how to show up to my lectures on time?”

Jason snorts and you duck your head. “Sorry, professor.”

The rest of the lecture is spent like something out of a high school classroom. He scribbles notes in the margin on your paper, and you draw little stars across the page. You’ve not spoken before, but you spend the whole time whispering to each other. He shows you his favourite poems, and you pretend they aren’t yours too.

It’s a shame, really. Deep down, you wish you didn’t get along with him so well. If not for the way he looks right at you when he speaks, breath fanning over your face as he leans down to say something, but for the fact you’ll never speak again. The two of you will pack your things and part ways, and you’ll spend the next lesson in your usual seat with a fully charged laptop, thinking about him. He’ll just be another story your friends will drag out of you over a glass of wine, the day when you sat with the sexiest boy on campus.

The lecture ends, and the two of you leave side by side. You avoid eye contact with your professor and pause outside the door.

“Thank you for the paper. And letting me sit next to you.”

Your hands awkwardly grasp at the straps of your bag. Of course today of all days you’d look so messy. You’re not wearing makeup, and you know your shirt is wrinkled. He looks effortless in a shirt that curls over his biceps oh, so perfectly.

“It’s no problem.”

Silence spills between the two of you. You nod once.

“Well. Bye, Jason.”

You turn to walk away, but you don’t make it far. A hand grabs your arm. You look back, and it's Jason, all smiling and nervous. He drops your arm, and shoots you another one of his boyish grins.

“Do you want to get some coffee? We can go over our notes. Get you back on Levine's good side.”

You should probably say no. Boys like Jason are the kind that could ruin you.

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

—————————————————————-

AUTHORS NOTE

my first oneshot!! I hope you all like it, and plz leave requests or if u want a part two 🩷

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #Jason todd oneshot #oneshot #fluff

[soap-ify]

(SORRY BUT THIS ASK HAS MENTIONS OF SH)

HEY RURU!! I rlly adore reading your makes, it truly helps me identify what kind of a slut and whore that I am, but. Can I request some fluff? Like my best friend, (13 years of friendship since middle school) got with my boyfriend and I'm so like confused and mad, and like sad. I just don't know what to do at this point, I literally almost committed last night with ov3rd0$e. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful, but if I could read one last thing before I don't want to live, it would be your writings :))

-❄️🍷

hi anon! i know it's been like two weeks and i hope you have been doing well. i am terribly sorry that happened to you, i understand how horrific that must have felt. moments like these makes one believe that the whole world is against you but please, do know that i'm always here for you if you need someone to vent. you deserve to be happy, and i'm here to listen. i genuinely hope you are doing alright now.

some morning simon fluff just for you. (no cws except reference to ghost's past)

there is nothing simon adores more than waking up next to you, your legs tangled with his, your head cozily buried into his chest — it most certainly looked like a mess from a distance. a mess he’d do anything to live over and over again.

it was a sweet reminder of your existence, and somewhat, his too. a reminder that he had survived it all somehow, all those gruesome missions and fights, all the torture he had too endure once, he had survived it. his life had just begun when had crawled out of that damn grave, his destination being you even if unbeknownst to him at that time.

“mmh, si…” your soft drowsy mumble snapped him out of his thoughts, causing him to look down at your stirring form, your head pulling away from the comfort of his chest to look over at him. oh, how he loved this sight of yours — forehead damp from the heat radiating off him, your eyes slightly puffy and hair a mess. it was as if you had made it your personal mission to attack his heart in the best way possible.

“g’mornin’, love.” his voice was hoarse from slumber, one hand reaching out to gently caress the back of your head, adoring the way you nuzzled into him. your calm breathing was his favourite sort of melody — the tranquility he had fought so hard to achieve, now finally nuzzled within his arms. his treasure.

“slept well, hm?” he pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead, ignoring your muffled protests of your forehead being ‘sweaty’ and all the shite he couldn’t care any less about.

“i did…” you huffed reluctantly, feeling the familiar fuzzy feeling storming within your stomach at the sight of him, his cheeks visibly flushed from sleep, hair disheveled. you wondered how he’d respond from being called adorable, maybe you’ll have to try some other day.

“you were snoring all night.” your words caused him to lazily grin and lean in as close as your bodies allowed, burying his face into your neck, your warmth wrapping around him like a blanket. a home that he finally had.

“can’t help it. you make me sleep like a baby, love.”

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #rurufic #ruru mail #❄️🍷.✿

[artiststarme]

Love Me For Me

Based on a prompt by @mysticcrownshipper. I hope this meets your expectations! Please leave your thoughts in the comments and if you have any other prompt ideas, send them my way!

~*~*~*~

Steve was having a great time. It was a warm summer day, all of the kids were having a great time in the pool, and there was a strong chance that he would get to see Eddie shirtless today. It was a great day, indeed. It had been weeks since the entire Party could get together and have fun. After everything that happened over Spring Break, having to recover from their injuries in the hospital, and clear Eddie’s name with the cops and the town, they deserved to let loose for a while. 

It was different for Steve though. This was his house and he was hosting so it was less about having fun himself and more about making everything amazing for the rest of the Party. Not to mention, he did not want to show off all of his horrific scarring in a swimsuit, thank you very much. 

So when Mike makes a comment about being thirsty, Steve is springing up off his lounge chair to get him a drink from the kitchen, maybe a little snack for the rest of the kids. He grabs a handful of juice boxes and some bags of chips. He considered making sandwiches as well but decided that he’d hold off on that until Robin and Eddie got there. 

When he went to step back outside, he could hear the muffled talking of the kids and stopped for a second. It sounded like they were talking about him. 

“Mike, why do you keep telling him to do things? He’s already letting us use his pool, go get your own damn juice box. He’s not your maid,” Max hissed. 

“Well why else would we need to keep him around?” Mike asked her.

“What are you talking about?” Dustin wondered.

“I mean, come on! What does Steve bring to the table besides being rich? He has a pool and a big house and he gives us food. That’s it!” Mike raised his voice to further emphasize his point. It only made it easier for Steve to hear every heartbreaking word. 

“He gives us rides too when we need them,” Will added in Steve’s defense.

“Hey, Steve is our friend! Do not be mean to him,” El demanded. 

“El, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying that if he’s our friend because he’s rich. We wouldn’t like him if he wasn’t because what could he give us then? Smart ideas, good conversation, funny jokes? Don’t kid yourself,” Mike patronized. 

“Hey, he’s our friend because he protected us from the Upside Down!” Dustin squealed in righteous anger.

“Okay, so he’s good at getting his ass kicked and being rich, that’s still it though,” Mike rebutted. No one said anything to that in response.  

The silence of the other kids was heartbreaking. Steve thought that these kids loved him like he loved them, like the little annoying brothers and sisters that he never had. But to hear that they just kept him around for material reasons and not what he could provide characteristically? They were just like Tommy, Carol, and all of his other old friends that just used him instead of liking him. And finding out about it sucked. 

Steve turned around and went back into the kitchen. He laid his head on the counter on folded arms. It was fine. No one ever truly liked him for him so what did it matter? He’d always known that the kids felt that way, of course they would. But why did hearing it from them hurt so much? In the midst of his breakdown, he didn’t hear the front door open or the footsteps moving towards the kitchen. In his defense, though, he really wasn’t paying much attention to anything outside his thoughts. 

“Steve? Are you okay?” He heard Eddie’s voice before he felt his hand settle to rest between his shoulder blades. 

His head shot up from the counter to find both Robin and Eddie looking at him in concern. It sent him over the edge and he lunged at Eddie, wrapping his arms around his torso and shoving his face into the crook of his neck. 

“Woah Stevie, are you okay?” Eddie asked him whilst he hugged him in return. “C’mon Big Boy, talk to me. What happened?”

“The kids said they only like me because I have money. ’Cause I have a pool and a car, not because I’m a good person to be around or the fact that I’ve literally put my life on the line for them. It just hurts, they’re just like everyone else.” Steve was proud of himself for speaking without any tears escaping. If he started crying about this, he’d never be able to stop.

“Steve, I’m sorry they said that. They’re just kids, I’m sure they didn’t mean what they said and maybe you heard it out of context! It is cool that their friend has a pool they can swim in and drives them all around town in his cool car. It’s not a bad thing, Steve. I mean, hell, we all take advantage of it. That’s why we keep you around!” Robin said jokingly. 

But Steve didn’t take it as a joke. His best friend only kept him around for that too? What about their girl talks and the sleepovers when either one of them had nightmares about being tortured by Russian spies? Did it all mean nothing to her?”

“C’mon Stevie, let’s head back out there. We’re here to have fun, okay? Don’t worry about this, I’m sure you’re thinking that it’s worse than it actually is.” Eddie patted his shoulder and stepped back from his hug, grabbing a Hi-C juice box in his retreat. 

Oh my god, they all thought that! Steve had never felt as betrayed and hurt as he did in that very moment. Here he was thinking that he had finally found a family that wanted him but they were just like everyone else. His parents only had him in the first place because society told them to and they only kept him around to show off until he became too much of a disappointment to do so. Tommy and Carol only kept him around for the status that came with befriending the rich boy with rich parents and a big house that always felt too lonely. His teammates on the basketball and swim teams only kept him around for his athletic ability and as soon as the concussions got too severe to play organized sports, they dropped him like a brick.

The Party that he thought was his family was just like everyone else that came before, were just using him to get to an end goal and then were going to drop him just as everyone had before. But at least it was good while it lasted, he guessed. He shook his head lightly to clear his thoughts and pasted a deceitfully fake smile on his face. 

“Yeah, I’m sure they didn’t mean it. I’m just overreacting like always. It’s fine, let’s get back out there,” he muttered. 

Both Eddie and Robin nodded enthusiastically and started piling their arms up with drinks and snacks. Steve was distracted the rest of the day deliberating the words of the Party. He was so contemplative that he didn’t check Eddie out when he took his shirt off, didn’t notice when El and Will looked at him in concern, and didn’t care when the kids splashed him with water. He just couldn’t fake it as well as he usually could today so he didn’t even try. It’s not like anyone noticed anyways. 

~*~*~*~

After a couple of days, Steve was still ignoring the issue. That was his go-to strategy for anything he didn’t want to deal with and it hadn’t failed him yet. It worked when his parents were home and he had to ignore the startling lack of love from either of them. It never failed him when he received a poor score on a test that told him he wouldn’t be going to college or when he couldn’t read the swimming words written on the board when the teacher asked him to. It worked for a while when he ignored the distance growing between him and Nancy after she accused him of murdering Barb. 

The point was, he was good at ignoring problems and pretending to be fine when his entire worldview was falling apart. It was fine. Or it was until he ran into Hopper a few days later.

He was just trying to return some Tupperware containers to Joyce, he didn’t want to have a full on conversation with his pseudo-dad or share a cigarette with him when he was trying to quit. Yet here he was, sitting on the stoop of the porch with a cigarette in hand trying to ignore the prying eyes of Hopper. 

“What’s going on, Harrington? You missed family dinner yesterday and you didn’t call or anything. We were worried about you, kid.”

Steve’s eyes watered slightly so he pinched his nose to stop the tears. “Um yeah, I wasn’t really feeling it yesterday. Sorry.”

“What’s going on with you? We’re trying to be a family to you kid but you keep pushing us away.” Hopper sounded hurt at the thought and it only served to make Steve feel more guilty. 

“I’m sorry, Hop. The kids said something that messed me up a few days ago, I’ll get over it.”

“You better,” Hopper grumbled before taking another drag from his cigarette. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Steve asked him a question he thought he needed to know. Looking back, he shouldn’t have. “Hop, why are you guys so intent on treating me like family? Why me?”

He sighed and scratched his beard before answering. “I feel bad for you, kid. You’re all alone in that big house, your parents don’t come home, and you don't really have anything going for you. You work a dead-end job and you don’t have a future to look forward to. Steve, you just seem lost and I have a habit of taking the lost ones in.”

Steve nodded at him and they quietly went back to their cigarettes without sharing any more words. Hop only brought him in because he pitied him. He didn’t love him like a son as Steve had always thought, he felt bad for him and wanted to give him something to look forward to because Steve was too much of a loser to have a life that could mean anything. 

He held it together long enough to finish his cigarette, numbingly agree to attend Family Game Night in a few days, and drive to his brother’s house. The tears stayed in until Phil answered the door to his house and upon seeing the crumbling of Steve’s carefully crafted facade, pulled him into a hug. The sobs spilled out of him after that with such force that Phil’s whispered comforts and confused reassurances couldn’t be heard. 

They must have stayed in that embrace for upwards of five minutes, just standing in the open doorway, experiencing a strong déjà vu. Steve hadn’t cried this hard since the brutal screaming match between his parents and brother that resulted in Phil being disowned. Phil had held him then too, promising that he would always love him and that he would be around as much as he could be. 

The parallel left both of them unsettled so Phil pulled him into the house and to the comfy living room couch he knew Steve loved. He sat on his knees in front of Steve and tried to make eye contact through Steve’s messy hair. “Hey Steve-o, you’re making me nervous, kid. What’s going on?”

“Why am I never enough for anyone?! You left, mom and dad left, Tommy and Carol didn’t fight to stay, Nancy cheated on me because I wasn’t enough, the kids are only using me for my pool, and Hop pities me because I’m an idiot. Why can’t anyone ever just love me for me?” Steve wailed. 

Phil’s eyebrows scrunched further in concern, “Steve, what the hell? I’m sure that’s not true-”

“You too?! You’re seriously going to tell me they’re right like Eddie and Robin did? No one ever sticks around for me! They just want the shit I can give them because ‘I’m rich and lonely’ and I’m fucking sick of it!” He yelled at him.

“Steve, I’m not saying they’re right. I’m saying you’re wrong because I didn’t leave. I’m right here and I love you for you. You’re my bratty little brother who gets into weird situations he refuses to explain and hangs out with a bunch of children, a drug dealer, and my boss. You’re weird as hell sometimes but I’m here, okay? You’re not alone.”

“I’m just sick of being used, Philly. For looks or popularity or pool privileges. I just want them to love me.”

“Hey, I’m sure they do. Kids are weird, I was certain you hated me for years when you were a teenager. Kids do that and I’m sure your other friends were just confused,” Phil tried to comfort.

Steve just sighed and ran a weary hand through his hair. The last couple of days had been a whirlwind of heartache, betrayal, and exhaustion. All Steve wanted to do was get away from it all and recoup in a place he didn’t feel suffocated. Then an idea sparked in his head.

“Hey, do you still have your dad’s old cabin up north?”

“Um yeah, I go up there sometimes on my days off. Why?” Phil asked, a knowing glint in his eyes telling Steve that he already knew.

“Can I hang out there for a few days? I just want to get away from all of this.”

Phil observed him for a few minutes before nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine. You can head up today and I’ll meet you up there this weekend after my shifts. You gonna be okay on your own?”

Steve just rolled his eyes at him, “of course I will be. Who do you take me for?”

“The kid that’s gotten four concussions in the past three years from nefarious, unknown causes,” he said completely deadpan. 

“Okay, that’s not fair. How do you know it’s nefarious if you don’t know the reason?”

Phil’s mustache twitched in the way it always did when he was about to start ranting. “You-” he took a deep, calming breath and started again. “I don’t want to argue with you right now. I’m going to go get the keys and write you some directions. Just chill here for now or whatever.”

Sure, his life might be spinning out of control and his friends might only be using him to reap the benefits that come with being a neglected rich kid but at least he had his brother. With another comforting hug, Phil gave him the keys and a note, some cash for snacks on the drive, and Steve was on his way. He had the chance for a few days away and he was going to take the time to relax and ponder on his self-worth. 

When Phil finished his shifts and could pull himself away from his work, he’d head up to the cabin for some much needed Bro Time. They’d talk about things, drink some beers on the bank of the lake, and make s’mores over a campfire like they used to before life got too complicated for them both. Most of all though, they’d spend time together. It would be Phil and Steve against the world like it always has been. 

~*~*~*~

It wasn’t one of the kids that noticed Steve’s abrupt disappearance. The kids, Eddie, and Robin hadn’t reached out to Steve since that disastrous pool party. No, it was Nancy that started putting the pieces together. 

When Mike asked her for a ride to the arcade, her hackles raised. “Why do you and your friends need a ride from me? Isn’t that usually Steve’s job?”

“Yes,” he sneered at her. “But Steve didn’t pick up Dustin’s phone call or answer the walkie when he said it was a code red. So we need you to give us a ride. Please.”

Nancy was so confused at Steve’s lack of reply that she didn’t even ask any more questions. She just picked up her purse and told Mike to go get in the car. 

Why wouldn’t Steve answer a code red? Out of all of the adults, Steve was the most hypervigilant and high-strung about the walkies. If he’d heard a code red, he would’ve answered. 

She had a bad feeling about this so once she picked up all of Mike’s annoying friends and dropped them at the arcade, she went to Family Video to talk to Robin. 

“Welcome to Family Video, how can I- oh hi Nance! What’s up?” She asked excitedly.

“Hey, have you heard from Steve recently? The kids couldn’t get a hold of him. Has he talked to you today?” Nancy asked her. 

Robin looked perplexed. “He wasn’t home? He called Keith today and told him that he was feeling sick and couldn’t work this weekend. I thought he might be fighting off a migraine or something. Whenever that happens, he holes up in his room in the dark for a few days until it wears off. Where else could he be?”

“I don’t know but I have a bad feeling. When was the last time you saw him?”

“Um, at the pool party he threw on Monday. He said he invited you but you were busy,” he had indeed. Nancy had been touched at the invite but ultimately already had plans with Jonathan. “He said the kids said something that hurt his feelings but Eddie and I thought he was overexaggerating. But you know, he was kind of distant the rest of the night. He was there but not really… you know?”

A picture was starting to form for Nancy. But they couldn’t do anything but worry about Steve. If he wanted to lay low for a while without being pressured by the friends that hurt him, then Nancy wasn’t going to be the one to ruin that. When he got back, she would show him that she cared and hopefully that would be enough. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m sure he’s fine. I have to go but I’ll see you later!” Hopefully too much damage hadn’t already been done. 

~*~*~*~

The next people to notice were perhaps the most surprising. The Corroded Coffin boys were talking to Eddie before practice in Gareth’s garage when Jeff peered behind his shoulder. 

“Hey man, where’s Steve? Did you two have a fight or something?” He asked him.

Eddie just looked at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Jeff returned his look looking just as puzzled. “Steve? I saw him at the grocery store on Monday and invited him to watch us practice. The dude wouldn’t stop raving about your guitar skills so I told him to come see them in person. Did you piss him off or something?”

“Why would you invite him to practice though? You guys don’t even like him.”

“Woah hey, that’s not true! He helped my mom fix her tire like two weeks ago when we were stranded on the side of the road so I love the guy,” Gareth said. “And he completely blasted Andy’s reputation when he was picking on Grant at the arcade last week. Harrington’s a cool dude now.”

Eddie just looked at them in utter bewilderment. What the hell? “Why haven’t you guys told me any of this?”

He was taking a sip of his Mountain Dew when Jeff answered. “Uh, we thought he would tell you. You guys are dating, right?”

Eddie spit his Mountain Dew all over Grant’s drum kit and started choking. 

“Dude, what the hell?!”

“Wh-why do you think we’re dating? We’re not and even if I was interested in him, which I’m not, Steve is straight!” Eddie sputtered.

All three of his bandmates looked at him unimpressed. Grant was still fuming at his sullied drum kit, Gareth was over Eddie being an idiot, and precious Jeff looked like he was a hair’s width away from losing his patience. 

“Eddie, he is not straight. He’s been flirting with you for months and even told me that he was looking forward to the pool party to see you shirtless. He’s interested,” Jeff said with a sigh that told Eddie he thought he was being a dumbass. 

Eddie just stared at them though. “There’s no way. I haven’t even talked to him since that pool party and I’m certain I would’ve noticed him checking me out. There’s no way.”

“Dude, you’re oblivious,” Gareth grumbled. 

“He hasn’t reached out or anything in days! That’s not good crushing etiquette!” Eddie stammered. 

“Did something happen at the pool party then? How did you fuck this up?” Grant accused.

“I didn’t fuck anything up! He was sad about something the kids said so I comforted him and then we went swimming. Steve never even got in the pool and he didn’t check me out at all. You guys are crazy.” 

“That means whatever you said fucked it up! Nice going, dumbass,” Gareth told him. 

“Okay, go fix this with Steve. We’ll move practice to Sunday and we want to hear all about how you fixed this. Maybe give him chocolate or flowers-”

“Steve’s allergic to flowers,” Eddie cut him off.

“And prove that you’re sorry and want to date him. Maybe take your shirt off since he didn’t see it in the pool. Just go,” Jeff ordered. 

Without another word, Eddie took off. He drove past Steve’s house first but his car wasn’t in the driveway. He drove around Family Video next but still didn’t see the maroon Beemer. Where was this guy? He didn’t see him anywhere. 

What he did see on his drive was a police cruiser with a glaring Officer Callahan inside. Eddie had to do a double take to confirm that he was glaring at him. What the fuck, he was driving the speed limit like any other law-abiding citizen, the glare was completely unfounded. 

Disheartened at the lack of Steve and confused at the officer’s ire, Eddie went home. He slammed the trailer door open and stalked into the kitchen to get a beer. He didn’t know why Steve was upset or why he was hiding from Eddie of all people but it hurt. It made Eddie angry in turn.

Wayne appeared behind him with an observing look in his eyes. “Eds, I haven’t seen ya this crabby for weeks. Maybe call that Harrington boy over, he always makes you happy.”

Wayne’s words were supposed to make Eddie laugh, maybe argue with him a little bit, anything to get rid of the hostile blankness on his face. What they ended up doing though was causing a panic attack. 

Eddie’s breaths started coming in in pants and tears started leaking from his eyes. Wayne thought they were dating too? How oblivious had he been that he hadn’t realized Steve was interested? And how did he fuck it up when he didn’t even know?!

Wayne was far too used to Eddie’s panic attacks. He didn’t ask any questions or question why what he said had caused a reaction. He just collected Eddie into his arms and rocked him like he was a scared kid instead of a traumatized 21 year old. 

“Calm down, Eds. Yer okay, everything’s okay. I’m here for you, Uncle Wayne is here. You just needta calm down a little bit. Keep breathing, kiddo. It’s alright.”

After a few minutes and many comforting repetitions on Wayne’s part. Eddie buried his face into Wayne’s shoulder and cried. He knew distantly that their position on the kitchen floor couldn’t be good for Wayne’s back and aching joints but he couldn’t bring himself to move. 

“Steve is gone! I looked everywhere for him but I couldn't find him! I fucked it up, I don’t know how but I did and now he’s gone!” He cried pitifully.

“Hey, I’m sure it ain’t because of you and I know he’ll be back. Whatever happened, you can talk it out with him in a couple of days. Just relax.”

He was right, as usual. Steve would come back eventually and when he did, there would be plenty of groveling and apologies. Eddie would make sure Steve knew how sorry he was at whatever he did and would make the kids and Robin apologize for good measure. He would fix this and Steve would never feel the need to escape ever again. 

(Meanwhile, Steve is at the cabin having the time of his life, drinking ice cold beers by the lake and watching some deer chilling in the distance. He has no idea that his leaving made a mark but he was sure going to find out in a few days when he gets back.)

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#Phil doesn't know why Steve is so traumatized or where he got his scars but he's fine living in the dark... mostly #Phil hates the Party from this point forward #and he continues to glare at Eddie whenever he sees him including the dinner where Steve introduces him as his boyfriend #stranger things #steddie #fanfic #angst #steve harrington #eddie munson #chief hopper #officer callahan #phil callahan #Phil Callahan is Steve's brother #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #lucas sinclair #eleven hopper #will byers #jonathan byers #chief jim hopper #corroded coffin #gareth emerson #jeff #grant #uncle wayne #wayne munson

[bbcphile]

Today, I’m crying about Li Xiangyi’s childhood, the way it taught him that losing meant he didn’t deserve to exist, and how that governed his response to the East Sea battle ten years earlier and to all the revelations at the end of the show.

Li Xiangyi obviously loves his shifu and shiniang, and they definitely loved him, too, given that his shifu wanted him to focus more on enjoying life and less on changing the world and obtaining victories, and given that his shifu sacrificed himself to try to save Xiangyi and his shiniang wanted to. So, his childhood with them definitely had more love, support, stability, and learning opportunities than his earlier life, which features such traumas as seeing his mom murdered in front of him, living on the streets starting at age 4, watching his older brother die in front of him and then forgetting his older brother existed, probably from traumatic amnesia/dissociation. That being said, though, his shiniang and shifu made some truly horrific decisions that caused some epic problems for both Li Xiangyi and Shan Gudao! It’s not just that they withheld incredibly important knowledge about Xiangyi’s early life and background from him (who his parents were, why they were murdered, that he had an older brother, the secret of his heritage)--although wow, that is a terrible way to raise a traumatized child–it’s also that they fostered competition instead of caring, both with the children they raised and between each other. I’m thinking in particular of the fact that, once shiniang and shifu separated, they each took a child (based on drawing lots) and had Xiangyi and Shan Gudao fight once a month to determine not just which kid was the better martial artist, but which adult was a better teacher, and, by extension, parent and person! 

That last thing is just so infuriating and, frankly, abusive: it makes each kid think competition and winning is how affection is earned, and that any sort of mistake or loss or failure is the absolute end of the world, because you’re never just letting yourself down or not reaching your potential: you are proving that you don’t deserve their care and affection. It also taught Xiangyi that he was responsible for their caregiver’s happiness and reputation, and once you have that kind of overdeveloped sense of responsibility as a child, you carry it through into every aspect of your life, because you don’t know any other way of being. No wonder Xiangyi thought he carried the world on his shoulders: growing up, the mountain home/training center was his world–since it seems like he didn’t have interactions with anyone else until he left the mountain at age 15–so he had been carrying that belief for at least a decade without having seen any other models of ways to exist. 

Also, we know Xiangyi thinks he owes his shiniang and shifu for having brought him into their family: having that added sense of debt makes everything so much worse, because he essentially thinks he owes his entire existence to them. It seems like Xiangyi felt like he had to win the competitions to prove he deserved to be there, but also to prove he deserved to exist. 

For his early life, he only felt the positive side of this expectation, because he never lost, since his martial arts skills were so much stronger than Shan Gudao’s. He was unintentionally primed to assume the outcome was a foregone conclusion, because he didn’t have any real challengers. This also hammered home the idea that he was right about things, that he should call the shots, and that collaboration wasn’t really relevant to his life, since it wasn’t as if his shifu taught Xiangyi and Shan Gudao how to fight side by side to defeat other opponents. Losing seemed like something that happened to other people (namely, Shan Gudao), and given the emphasis his shifu and shiniang placed on the competitions, I imagine winning time after time was more than just an adrenaline rush; it was positive reinforcement that he deserved the good things that had come his way, had repaid the debt he owed his shiniang and shifu, and would continue to earn love, respect, a family, a home, and a right to exist.

But when he lost? When he had never had a model for what losing safely feels like? (When the only times he lost were when he lost deliberately to try to cheer up Shan Gudao, but was berated for it, and told it was shameful and wrong to throw a fight for any reason, so losing becomes even more associated with shame?) When losing wasn’t a way to learn, but a sign that he might lose his love, his family, his home? What happens when the scaffolding upholding his right to exist—his ability to win—comes crashing down?

Suicidal ideation. Because he lost not only the battle with Di Feisheng, but also his shixiong, his shixiong’s body, his fiancee, the lives of his men, his reputation, his new home (the Sigu sect), and being able-bodied. In short, he lost everything part of him always feared he’d lose and then some. So why would he think he still has a right to exist, after that? How could he believe someone telling him it wasn’t his fault, when all he has ever known is that the responsibility for everyone he cares for lies with him? 

(I feel like it’s really telling that he didn’t go back to his shiniang’s or shifu’s home after everything went to hell; he said it was because he had been unfilial and couldn’t bear to go back after his shifu died, but it also seems like, given that he had lost everything else, he felt like he didn’t deserve the comfort, family, and home it represented, so staying away is his punishment.)

Given all this, it makes total sense that Li Lianhua wants so desperately to think of Li Xiangyi as dead: he can’t actually reconcile being alive and having failed. So he tries to create a new persona that doesn’t want to be the best in the jianghu or thrive on praise and responsibility, while he tries to correct what he thinks of as his mistakes, before he dies of Bicha poisoning. 

He tries to live the life his shifu wanted for him, where he enjoys pleasures like wine, food, relaxation, and growing things instead of focusing on making a name for himself or winning, and he tries to stay away from people, attachments, and love, because you can’t lose them again if you don’t have them to begin with.

But of course, saying someone is a different person doesn’t make it so. He still wants to be the best–the best physician, the best at scheming, the best at detective work–because he still doesn’t actually know how to be any other way. So he still has the same problems as Li Xiangyi: he still withholds information and commands more than collaborates (it’s frankly amazing he works as well with Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as he does), still has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility (he believes he has to be the one to save those he cares about and stop everyone else, whether Shan Gudao or the emperor), and at the end, is still suicidal (because now he thinks he’s responsible for the death of his shifu, for not seeing Shan Gudao’s plot, and probably in some warped way for the Nanyin situation once he learns the truth of his heritage, because the man has never met a situation he can’t take the blame for). 

It doesn’t surprise me at all that Li Lianhua doesn’t fully get how much he means to Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing at the end, or that he thinks they just want their version of Li Xiangyi: he can’t imagine being loved and still having made a mistake.

#mysterious lotus casebook #mysterious lotus casebook meta #li xiangyi #li lianhua #tw: suicide #Shan Gudao #I had more to say about how LXY loses everything once and decides he deserves nothing #while Shan Gudao lost every day for a decade and decided he deserved everything #and how both maladaptive coping strategies are from the absurd competition they grew up with #but it was already too long #so it's going here #some day I will actually finish my fics and post them #but for now it's meta time

[runawrites-blog]

Alone (Loki x Reader)

(Gif Not Mine)

Summary: After Loki's death at the hands of Thanos, you do your best to fight on and be strong but in the end, it doesn't matter. Without him, you realise how truly alone you are and wonder if loving him has made you weak. Word Count: 2,205 Warnings: Canonical Character Death (Loki), Mild Violence, Swearing, Passive Suicidal Thoughts/ Accepting Death (Reader), No Y/N A/N: The beginning is from the fanfiction "Lies", so don't wonder why it's the same. In this, however, the reader doesn't have clairvoyance powers but rather some that are similar to Wanda's. Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619269

---

“You will never be a god.“

Those were the last words you would ever hear of Loki, the man you loved more than anything and who had promised you to always be by your side.

The horrific crack that could be heard as his neck snapped in two made you fall to your knees. You tried your hardest not to break down as you watched your lover’s dead body fall limp onto the floor.

“No resurrections this time.”

You crawled over to Loki, not even caring whether Thanos was already gone or he would kill you, too. The only thing you had left was Loki. Thanos had destroyed your home, murdered everyone you held dear, and now he had taken the only person who you had left. Crying your heart out seemed like the reasonable thing to do as you let yourself fall halfway onto Loki’s chest.

Your body was wracked with sobs as you felt for a heartbeat at his wrist, his chest, or anywhere that you hadn’t checked before. Yet, you did detect no heartbeat. Loki was dead and you would never see him again.

Never again would you hear his voice. Never again would he tease you, trick you, or prank you. Never again would you feel his warmth or see his smile. Never again would he hold you. And funny enough the first thought that popped into your head was to talk to Loki about this and find comfort in him, but that could never happen again.

Another sob wracked your body as you came to terms with the fact that he was in fact dead. You didn’t know what to do or how to move on from this. In the background, you could hear Thor calling out to you but you didn’t listen.

When you didn’t listen, Thor tried to drag you away, his own eyes filled with tears. You didn’t listen; you just clung to Loki’s body harder. Thor eventually sat down next to you, apparently giving up on trying to move you, tears now running down his face.

You didn’t look at him, didn’t talk to him. All you did was cling to Loki and cry as you felt the warmth leaving his body.

Nothing mattered anymore. Loki was dead.

Slowly, Thor’s voice drang through your thoughts of despair. “We need to leave! Are you listening to me? Do you hear me?”

You turned to him, tears streaking your cheeks. “He took everything from me.”

“We need to get to Midgard. We need to stop him.”

“Why? He took everything from me. What do I have left to fight for?”

“Don’t say that.”

“But he did! He killed my family, destroyed my home planet and now he’s killed Loki, the only one who stuck around through all my despair, the only one that still loved me, the only one I had left!” You screeched, more tears falling from your cheeks.

“You have me.” Thor said in earnest. “I am just as devasted as you are but you are my friend and I will be there until the very end. We can still defeat him.”

“How?”

“We will find a way.”

---

Stopping Thanos proved to be harder than expected. When he eventually arrived in Wakanda, large armies in his tail and destruction in his path, you felt yourself freeze all over. There he stood, mighty and powerful, the gauntlet on his hand -- the hand that took Loki from you, the one that choked the life out of him.

Your fear was quickly replaced with anger as you saw him stand there all high and mighty, after all he had done not only to you but the universe. Images of the telegram that informed you of your planet’s destruction, of your family’s death filled your mind, images of the way he had taunted you over your lost home when he finally met you again, images of Loki’s dead body lying on the ground.

Tendrils of your powers sparked at the tips of your fingers, blue magic engulfing your hands. Thanos stood before you, intend on taking more from you, intend on taking more from the universe than he already had. White-hot rage filled you. You were more than ready to fight him, even if it meant your own demise. You wouldn’t let him get away with taking Loki from you, too.

Loki was gone now, too. You had nothing more to lose. You would have your revenge.

As Thanos’ army charged you were glad that your teammates were at your side. Just the sight of all of Wakanda, along with other heroes fighting side by side, leaving differences and fights aside, gave you a sense of community that strengthened you.

You and your teammates fought for hours, being injured and injuring the opponents. The fight seemed pointless in the end as more and more of Thanos’ men kept appearing. At one point you ended up pinned to a three by Proxima Midnight, her ridiculing words about your weakness of loving Loki paining you more than anything. But you managed to blast her away, a hue of blue slamming her away from you against a nearby tree.

You were glad to be rid of her and her ridicule but when you turned you came face to face with Thanos. Before you could even react, he had you by the neck, pressing you to a tree.

“Tell me where the Mind Stone is.” He demanded. “Where are your people hiding it?”

Of course, you denied, struggling in his grip, and to your horror, your powers proved useless to him with the stones he already possessed. “I will never tell you!”

“Then I shall dispose of you, as well.”

You swallowed against your fear. Never would you tell him where the stone was, never would you betray the universe like that. Even if he killed you, at least he would be none the wiser to the location of the stone. A little voice in your head was telling you that at least in death you could be with Loki again.

“You took everything from me.” You spat at him, grabbing his fingers that were wrapped around your throat but not squeezing hard enough to restrict oxygen. “I will never turn over the stone to you.”

“Everything?” He then began to laugh, tauntingly as if he could ever understand the pain you were in. “Does Loki hold such a dear place in your heart?”

“You destroyed my planet, murdered my people and my family. Then you took the only one I had left.” You hissed, your voice like venom. “But he was right; he was so right about you. You will never be a god. Your tyrannical ways will never work.”

“Why is that?” He squeezed a bit tighter. “Tell me if you are oh so wise.”

“As long as there is injustice there will always be resistance.” You said in earnest though you were in tears. “As long as there is tyranny there will always be revolution. You will never find peace, you will never find glory or power and you will never be a god.”

“You are pathetic.” He shook his head. “The universe is on the brink of chaos and you mourn one being?”

“You would never understand, no matter how hard you try.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you don’t know what it is to love. You have never in your life felt selfless love for someone, the kind of love that makes you strong and weak at the same time, the kind of love that makes you fight, the kind of love that makes you choose their happiness over yours.”

“How touching. Is that what you felt for Loki? You are weak because you allowed yourself to love someone this much. Your love will be your undoing!”

“Then so be it.” You closed your eyes, tears falling down your cheeks. “I may have lost love. But the greatest tragedy of all is never to feel the warmth of love.”

“Pathetic.”

You pressed your eyes shut but to your surprise, he dropped you and you fell to your knees. When you looked up he was gone. Tears were still rolling down your cheeks but as quickly as you could, you got to your feet and made your way to the rest of your team, your abilities lifting you in the air and carrying you. When you found Steve, you plopped down next to him.

“He knows the Mind Stone is here.” You stammered out. “He found me in the forest, and threatened me to tell him but I wouldn’t.”

“And he let you go?”

“Perhaps he knows its location by now. Maybe I was of no use.”

“Are you crying?”

“He kept taunting me.” You sobbed out. “I am so weak for having loved Loki so much that his death is my undoing.”

“No.” Steve said sternly. “You are terribly strong for fighting on even in the face of such horrible heartbreak. Loki would be proud of you.”

“You barely knew him.” You wiped your eyes.

“I knew him enough to know.”

Bucky cleared his throat. “Even though I agree with Steve, we need to concentrate now. Where is Thanos?”

You looked at Bucky, tears in your eyes. “He tried to get the location of Vision’s stone from me but- but I wouldn’t tell him. I think he knows anyway. He stopped talking to me and simply disappeared. Maybe someone told him.”

“Let’s not assume the worst.”

“It’s pretty obvious where the stone may be.” You looked at Steve.

---

Vision was destroyed, Wanda was crying next to his body, Thor didn't go for the head, the stone was in Thanos’ hands and the mad titan was gone. You looked around your teammates as everyone was clueless on what to do.

“I was alone with him.” You confessed. “I could have killed him but I was too weak. Ever since Loki’s death, I feel so-- so empty, and maybe I let my emotions get the best of me. I should have been stronger, like Wanda.”

“No one blames you.” The woman said softly. “We all failed. This is not on you. I’m sorry about Loki, I really am. You were so genuinely happy with him.”

You looked at her, nodding slowly. “I am also sorry about Vision, Wanda. I know how much he meant to you. If he were still with us he would be proud of you.”

“As would Loki be if he knew how hard you fought without him.”

“Still, we lost.” You tried your hardest not to break down crying again. All that kept you together was that your friends were still there.

“If anyone is to blame, it’s me.” Thor said softly.

“It was a mistake. You had no idea that a fucking axe to the chest wouldn’t kill him. Anyone else would have been dead.” You said and shook your head. “No one is to blame but Thanos. He is a tyrant and a murderer. He took so many innocent lives, not only on my home planet but also in the whole galaxy. I just pray that the others can defeat him.”

But as you waited, all of you knew that something wasn’t right. You heard nothing from either of the others that were still out there with Thanos. Something was not right and you knew it.

Your fears were proven right when suddenly you heard people start to exclaim nearby. When you turned they were turning to dust. You heard Wanda scream in fear next to you as you watched her slowly turn to dust. Unsure of what to do, you looked at Steve for help but he was busy trying to hold Sam and Bucky together as they as well turned to nothing but dust.

Then with horror, you realised that you felt strange and when you looked down you saw your hand slowly turning grey. You tried to move your finger but they immediately turned to dust. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked around, trying to find some help or at least solace in your friends. But all of them had someone else they were trying to help. Not even Thor was looking at you; he just seemed shocked by how many people were turning to dust. Without Loki, you were truly alone.

Slowly, however, your fear turned to hope. As you fell to your knees, your arms turning to dust and your legs disappearing, you had hope. Images of your past with Loki flashed before your eyes, memories of his laugh, his smile, the sparkle in his eyes when he had talked to you, the way he had held you or how safe you had felt. And you dared to hope that he would see you again.

Maybe in your final moments, you could allow yourself to be weak enough to hope that you would see him again. And maybe, just maybe there was a chance.

With that perspective, you felt calm. You accepted your fate. You were at peace.

Because finally, you were again hopeful.

#marvel #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel cinematic universe #loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #avengers #avengers infinity war #infinity war #cw passive suicidality #cw character death #textpost #fanfiction #writing

[sarasalandhistory]

The Princess of Sarasaland

Luigi curled into a ball and cry. Why? Why was this happening? What did he do to deserve this? He always thought he was a good person or at least good enough. Sure he was cowardly and could be scared of his own shadow but was that the worst thing to be? Did he really deserve this? Being locked in a cage by some evil turtle-dragon trying to conquer the world after it threatened his brother, hanging above certain fiery death! Luigi couldn’t really believe that was good karma!

Oh, Mario where are you! 

Wait, Mario! Was he okay?!

This is where he landed...so where in God’s name did Mario land?! Was he okay? Was he already dead!?

Luigi started to heavily breathe as every horrific scenario started flooding his mind.

No. No. NO!

This was Mario and Mario was a lot braver than he was. He’d be fine but Luigi had to get out of this some way and warn him!

But how?!

As Luigi wondered about this, he began to hear the clashing and clanking of chains. He tried to ignore it. Tried to tune it out but it became so loud that it became impossible to do so.

He went to the other side of his cage to tell them to knock it off so he could think when he saw something he didn’t expect to see. Another human! Or at least close to human as they could be!

Luigi almost cried with relief. Finally, something he knew. Someone who looked almost normal! In this strange world full of evil turtle-dragons, walking talking penguins, and death loving stars, there was someone who might be able to understand him!

He tried to get a better look to see the other human was a woman around his age with auburn colored hair cut around her shoulders with tanned skin and deep bluish-green eyes that kind of reminded Luigi of the ocean. Strangely though she was wearing a bright yellow dress with orange, white, and gold embroidery with white gloves on her hands that were currently fiddling with the lock of her cage. She looked like a princess. Wait a princess? Well, if all those walking, talking animals can exist then a human princess should be the most normal thing he’s seen today.

Carefully, Luigi maneuvered over to face the Penguin King before loudly saying, “Whose she?”

It took a moment for the Penguin King to realize he was being talked to before seeing Luigi pointing at the girl’s cage. “Her? She’s the Princess of Sarasaland.”

So, she was a princess. Sarasaland? What kind of place was that? 

“She surrendered herself,” the talking star said from behind. “Bowser was going to turn her entire kingdom to ash but she came along and chose to surrender instead of letting her people fight to the death,” it continued creepily. 

“A truly cowardly act if you ask me,” the Penguin King commented. “A true ruler would’ve died on the front line with their people instead of wasting away in a cage.”

Luigi glared at this statement. What was cowardly about surrendering for other people’s lives? Especially coming from the Penguin King who was locked in here with all of his people.

A loud click resounded throughout the room and Luigi looked back to see it was the princess who had managed to get her cage door open. He then watched as grabbed onto the bars and used them to pull herself onto the top of her cage and then towards the chain where she was about to climb up.

“Hey! Wait!” Luigi found himself, crying out. “Let me out too!” If she got herself out maybe she could get him out!

These hopes were quickly dashed when the princess loudly cried “No way!”

“Why not!?” Luigi indignantly cried back.

“Because you’ll just get in my way,” she cried back as she started to climb. Darnit. If she leaves then there goes his only way out of this nightmare.

“Wait! Please!” Luigi begged. “That thing is trying to kill Mario!”

This made her pause before looking back, “Who’s Mario?

Luigi looked up at to see she stopped, before saying, “He’s my brother and I’d do anything to help my brother.” And Luigi truly meant it. Famiglia venire attraverso l'uno per l'altro was something their mama drilled into their heads from the time they were just little bambini and they’ve held true to that ever since.

Luigi looked up to see the princess just hung there from the chain before looking back with an unreadable expression. He almost thought she was on the verge of just leaving him there thinking he’s not worth the trouble. Most people would come to that conclusion. Most people did.

He looked back up. The princess was gone. 

Did she leave- He felt his cage shake. What the- He looked over to see it was the princess now hanging from the bars of his cage while fumbling with the oversized lock and a flower-shaped hairpin. 

“Come on,” she said as she tried to pick the lock.

“You’re freeing me?” Luigi asked shock.

“Yeah. Don’t make me regret it,” she said as the lock came loose before tossed it into the fiery lake of death.

“Grazie,” Luigi thanked her. “What’s your name?”

She looked up at him for a moment with a look of clear shock, “Er...Daisy. Daisy of Sarasaland.”

#Super Mario #super mario bros #Super Mario Movie #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie 2023 #luigi #daisy #princess daisy #luaisy #luigi x daisy #just an idea for a Daisy plotline

[yanderes-galore]

I hope you like this idea. Could you do a scenario for Sonic. EXE with a reader who's not afraid of him, even after his carnage. Reader's is like: "You are no God, you're just a monster and i will do everything to destroy you".

To make this work I had to alter some things. Oof, I remember when I was so scared of the fan game when I was younger. I'm quite happy Sonic.EXE is making a come back with much higher quality games.

A/N: Oops, strangely my Sonic.EXE personality is a mix between Sonic and Pennywise, my bad.

Tormented Mind

Yandere! Sonic.EXE Scenario/Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere-like behavior, Sadism, Implied murder, Demons, Fourth wall breaking, Corpses, Blood mention.

"You are no God..." You seethe at your computer screen, the corrupted hedgehog's face blankly staring at you. "You are just a monster, a cruel prank to scare anyone who downloads you. You can't hurt me! None of this will affect me in the future and I'll destroy you."

Nothing happens, you think you're going crazy until the bloodied hedgehog in your screen frowns. Those eyes stare straight at you, and for a moment, you hesitate on the meaning of your words.

"A prank? Oh really? That tough act you have is funny! I didn't know you hated my little puppet show THAT much? Did your favorite character die? Are you sure you aren't a little sad?"

You then see the hedgehog give you a mocking pout, fake crying before smirking devilishly at you.

"You aren't funny either."

"Which means I'm not a prank, right? Pranks are supposed to be funny."

You groan. This corrupted pile of code even had a cruel sense of humor. You regretted even downloading the game.

"Don't take my threats lightly. I'll break your disc... then I'll wipe this computer clean."

The horrific form of Sonic laughs, your speakers vibrating at the volume.

"Oh! You are a FUNNY one! You can't do anything as long as I have control over your computer. I mean TOTAL control, too. Want to test out how much electricity I can send through these ports? You'll certainly feel it from here."

You grimace at his threat, deep down wonder if what he said could be true.

Did this virus really have this much power...? It seemed sentient so maybe it could.... However, you wouldn't give in.

"I'd rather not."

"Good. It'd be a shame to get rid of a wonderful player such as yourself! You've been the best one so far to play with. Even better than these puppets!"

With that said, Sonic moves out of the way to show the disgusting 'corpses' of Tails, Knuckles, and Robotnik. It was hard to call them corpses... were they even truly alive?

This was still just a game/virus....

"They got so boring... don't you agree? Even when I used them with you they were boring! Their torment was the same as the countless other times I played with them. You're a nice chance for something new, though."

Something... new?

"Elaborate."

"Got fancy words, hm? Just because I'm a computer program doesn't mean you have to break out the thesaurus on me!"

Another laugh vibrates through your ears.

"You MUST know what I'm talking about, dear! The fact I get to speak with you even even you're not scared is entertaining! I look forward to our round 2~!"

You scoff.

"Rounds 2? More of your little puppets?"

That grin nearly sent chills down your spine.... They looked so bloodied.

"You really DO underestimate me, hm?"

You feel yourself jolt. You weren't scared... just something felt, off

"Do you really believe I'm just a game? That's what most think...."

Static appeared on your computer, by the time it ended the hedgehog was gone. You though your computer crashed.

Although when you went to touch it, something touched your back.

Now you were scared.

"They never assume demon. That I could just be a deity in a vessel. It just so happens to scare others you need to make yourself look like something from their childhood, then TWIST it into something horrific to scare them."

You hesitantly turn around, only to be met with a hedgehog-like creature sitting on your bed. His pose was casual, grin large and filled with teeth. He taps his foot idly before laughing at your bewildered expression.

You doubted he was real... it looked like static surrounded him.

"Well? Impressed? No need to just sit there looking so surprised! Not many make it this far, you know~!"

"You can't be..."

"You keep saying such things. Can't you tell it's useless? In a way, with my powers, I really am a God."

That grin never left his face when he stood up.

"This isn't my true form. However, since you like those hedgehog games so much, this form appeals to you, doesn't it?"

A gloved yet clawed hand traces patterns on your arms and back while walking around you. He was no game....

"I want to keep your attention for as long as I possibly can! So..."

His speed is bewildering, truly like the real Sonic from the games. He stops in front of you, red eyes fixated on your own.

"Why don't we continue our game! I look forward to winning against my favorite player~"

#yandere sonic #yandere sonic the hedgehog #yandere sonic.exe #yandere creepypasta

[smuttyfang]

The Ghost Team Bunny

Chapter 1: The Contract

You are contracted by Simon "Ghost" Riley to "comfort" him and his men. You'll be their ear, their kindness, their warmth as they suffer the harsh realities of war. Oh, and you’ll be sleeping with them too. They will all come to meet more to you than you could ever imagine. And they'll come to care for you, too. And Simon.. what will he come to think of you?

Will include some of the original story characters from time to time. Also includes men than I have created for Ghost Team. Simon is older in this, and commands his own team of men more than going on missions himself.

Words: 4,407

As you sit in your favorite little coffee shop drinking your usual favorite, you look at the contract on your phone screen. You looked at it occasionally, then looked away for a while. Only for your gaze to return to it. To be drawn back to it. Were you seriously considering this?

You stared at the application, realizing how vague it was. However, considering you always looked at your own contracts for OnlyFans and never felt the need to hire your own lawyer, you knew the application was hinting at something more.

It was a military contract, yes. Supposedly for a ‘mental health advocate’. The application stated that you would have to give yourself to a certain group in the military. You’d be their ear, their comfort. There to listen. Always on the base with them when they need you. But it was more than obvious to you that it was more than that. How did most men like to deal with their emotions? Sex. You knew that better than anyone in your time doing OnlyFans.

Something about the whole thing piqued your curiosity. Not only was it interesting, but the application was sent directly to you. You assumed someone had found your email through your OnlyFans and decided to contact you. You hated to admit it, but being a sexual comfort to a bunch of big military men was honestly a huge fantasy for you. All those tough and powerful men desiring you.. it made you feel anxious and excited. And truly.. you felt something for those poor military men who paid to talk to you on the site. They’d always tell you the most horrific things that have happened to them in their time serving, and they’d usually just want you to listen. They didn't seem to have anyone that they could talk to. You imagined ‘talking about your feelings’ amongst those military men was probably frowned upon or not taken seriously. You felt for them. You liked helping them.

You sigh, just giving in and telling them you were interested. You send the email, taking a few more sips of your coffee. Within a few minutes, you were getting a phone call. It was an unknown number. You answer it.

“Hello?” You say. A voice speaks from the other line, a dark, deep British accent.

“This is the one who contacted you about the job.” He says bluntly. “Can you come by and meet me this evening?” He asks. You were a bit shocked, listening to this happening so quickly already.

“Yeah, absolutely. When should I be there? And.. where?” You ask. You hear a bit of rustling in the background and another man speaking.

“You’re at the coffee shop downtown, right? The one with the red roof.” You should be surprised, but these people are the military. It’s not shocking at all that they would watch you if they were interested in you.

“I am.” You say, looking around the room and wondering if anyone inside was the one keeping an eye on you. Everyone looked fairly normal..

“I have someone who can pick you up. He will be there in five.” The man tells you, bluntly. He seems very cold and off putting. His British accent intrigued you.

“Alright.” You tell him. He immediately hangs up without saying goodbye. You shake your head, sighing. You knew from your OnlyFans that military men could be.. odd sometimes. You couldn’t exactly find it surprising. Exactly five minutes pass by, and you see a sleek black car park right in front of the shop. A man exits the passenger side. He’s wearing military gear, but doesn’t seem to have any weapons on him directly. He points at you through the window and motions his finger for you to come to him. You toss your coffee cup into the trash, walking outside to meet the man.

“Hello.” You say to the man. He is wearing sunglasses and you’re unable to tell where he is looking. He walks to the back of the vehicle, opening the back door for you. You awkwardly smile at him as you get inside. He gets back inside, and motions for the driver to take off. Neither of them seem to pay much attention to you. You want to talk, but aren’t sure if you should. You can’t tell if either of them are looking back at you in the mirror or not. With the sunglasses they were wearing, it felt like they could have been staring you down the whole time.. You do your best to stay composed in front of them. It doesn’t take long for you to arrive at what was clearly a military base outside of town. It was well lit, with soldiers walking around and lining the tips of the walls holding their guns. The car pulls up to a checkpoint. The man in the driver's seat talks to the man at the checkpoint. The man outside peeks into the back of the car to look at you. You see a slight smirk on his face as he tells them to go on inside. The car then pulls up to a huge guarded front door. Both men step out, as one of them opens the back door and allows you out.

“Follow me.” The man says coldly. You follow the man through the large doors, past the guards. You feel their gaze on you, their heads following you every step you take. You follow the man through long hallways, up flights of stairs. You notice the men you pass by just staring at you. Staring at you like they hadn’t seen a woman in ages. They looked hungry . Like.. animals . Something about it excited you to the very core. You gulped as you watched them all. You smiled and waved sweetly at some of them, who would then practically eye hump you as you walked by. Some of them even began stepping closer to you, but then the man leading you would shoo them away. He suddenly stops in front of a door in the middle of a long hallway. “Boss is in here.” He motions his head toward the door. You nod your head.

“Uh, thank you..” You say quietly. You silently open the door. As you step inside, you find a man with a skull mask sitting at a desk. The room is barren, only having two chairs and the desk. It’s all gray and plain. The man’s gaze is so cold and almost unnerving. His arm is covered in tattoos. You step inside fully and shut the door behind you. The man is sitting there, unmoving. It makes you freeze.

“Have a seat.” The man says. You compose yourself, smiling and walking to the opposite side of his desk and sitting down in the other chair. You can tell by his accent, this is the one you had spoken to over the phone.

“It’s nice to meet you..” You trail off, wanting to know his name.

“Ghost.” He says, still cold. Still unmoving. You nod your head.

“Okay, Ghost..” You clear your throat. “How did you find me? I mean.. why are you offering this job to me?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“Few of my men like you. They told me about you.” He admits. “They’re quite fond of that.. stuff you make online.” He still isn’t showing you much emotion. You smile, trying to be friendly.

“I’m glad to hear that.” You say, sweetly. “Have you.. looked at my stuff yourself?” You asked curiously.

“No. Real thing is better.” He is.. confusing. He says it like he’s hitting on you, but it still just sounds so cold. His eyes still don’t move. He was incredibly hard for you to read.

“Okay..” You say, breathing out shakily. “I can tell by the vagueness of the wording in the contract there’s something more involved.” He nods his head.

“We knew you were capable of reading between the lines.” They must have spent a lot of time researching you.

“Tell me what’s between them, then.” You say. He still looks at you, it’s unnerving how still he is.

“You’re going to be a comfort to me and my men. You’ll also be a reward for them, if they do well. You can interpret that however you like.” He says, bluntly.

“I’m going to be sleeping with them?” You ask.

“Sleeping with them. Talking to them. Letting them vent. Whatever they need.” He tells you.

“Okay..” You say slowly, trying to process the whole situation. “Military men are dangerous and downright scary sometimes, Ghost.” You tell him. “You don't see the things some of them say they would like to do to me.” You’re reminded of some horrifying comments you have seen from military men on your videos. Some of them have really gory and horrifying fantasies that make you shiver when you think about them.

“I assure you, that was not any of my men. I made sure of that first. My men.. like you. Some of them tell me you’ve comforted them online before.” You think for a moment, remembering chatting with some military men who had been through a lot.

“Yeah.. not sure which ones of course, but I have. I enjoy.. I like helping them feel better.” You tell him. You truly did. It broke your heart when you’d get a message from a man who admitted he had lost his friends in a war. Sometimes they didn’t even want to talk to you sexually. They just wanted you to listen. Ghost stays silent. “So.. it says I’ll be staying here.” He nods his head. “Where?”

“In my quarters.” He says, bluntly. “You won’t sleep in any other bed but mine. You may have other men in my bed, but you will never sleep elsewhere.”

“Will I have protection when walking around the base?” You ask. He sighs.

“Let me make it all clear to you. You will belong to me before anyone else. You’ll never leave my side. None of my men will talk to you or spend any time with you without my permission. You will please me, before anyone else.”

“And if you have to leave the base?” You ask, just trying to gauge your situation here.

“I don’t leave very often. I'm getting old.” He admits. “If I ever do, a few of my most trusted men will protect you.” I think for a while, watching his eyes. He did well hiding any emotion he was feeling.

“Why do you want me near you all the time?” You ask.

“My men respect me above all else. If you want to be protected, and respected, you would do best to stay with me.” You think again for a long time, weighing your options.

“What about my things? My home?” You ask.

“My men will get your things for you. You can keep your home, we know you have it paid for already.” You smile, impressed at their research into you.

“Okay.. what about my OnlyFans?” You ask.

“That will have to end, for the time being. We need to discuss that later on, once I know I can trust you. But you will never post anything that exposes any of my men. Or that you are on a military base. Period.” He says, almost looking at you angrily. It sent shivers down your spine. You quickly compose yourself though.

“That is understandable.” You tell him. “I can.. tell my followers I’m just taking a break so they don’t worry.” He nods his head.

“If that’s what you choose.” You both sit there in silence for a while. It seemed like he was giving you time to think.

“I..” You find yourself at a loss for words.

“All your needs will be met.” He starts. “It might not be luxurious, but you can make a difference in the lives of these men who need someone like you around. My men are the strongest out there. They have the most grief alongside that.” He pulls at your heartstrings with those words. Comforting people always made you feel like you had a purpose in life.

“It’s.. very kind that you want to do something like this for your men.” You tell him. He seems a bit taken aback by your words.

“Kind?” He repeats the words like he’s never been called that before. Something in his eyes changed in that moment. He quickly returns back to his cold demeanor, and his eyes go icy again. “So. What do you choose?” You think for a moment, sighing. You pull your phone out of your pocket. You see that your signal is entirely gone. “Your phone won’t work here.” He tells you. “I’ll have one of my men make a post on your fan thing.” He didn’t seem to know much about the internet. “Post a picture you’ve already posted before, tell them you’re taking a break. Right?” He asks.

“Yeah. I’ve done it before a few times, so.. it won't seem too strange.”

“So you say yes?” He asks. You breathe out shakily, feeling like you might be crazy for this.

“Yes. I'll do it. If I can offer some comfort..” You tell him. He stands up, taking your phone from your hand. He opens the door, giving it to the man who led you there. He talks to him quietly before closing the door and returning to you.

“He will go off base and do it. Your phone will be kept safe, but you can’t have it for now. I need to know I can trust you.”

“I understand, Ghost.”

“Simon.” He tells you. “It’s Simon, now.” You smile at him sweetly.

“Okay.. it's nice to meet you then, Simon.” He looks you up and down before motioning for you to follow him. He shows you through another door past his office. It opens up into a quaint little living room. He has a small kitchen connected to it. Beyond that, he shows you to another room. It’s a nice little bedroom with a connected bathroom. He had the bare minimum of comfort in every room, not a single decoration anywhere. The only unique thing was his bathtub, which was quite large. The rooms were gray and simple, just like his office.

“My men will bring all your things here tomorrow. After they disable any possible internet connections to any of them.” He says. “You got anything like that?” He asks, watching you as you look around.

“Just some gaming consoles.” You tell him.

“You can have ‘em. Without the internet.” He says. You nod your head.

“Yeah, I get it. I understand.” You say. When you finish looking around, you return to him. “You have a large tub.” You say, smiling. “I like it.”

“I’m a large man.” He says, shrugging his shoulders. Boy, was he right. He had a large frame, and you were just now realizing it. He clearly catches you eyeballing him.

“Would you.. will your men bring my furniture?” You ask. He looks at you a little strangely.

“Why would you need that? I have a bed and a couch.” He says, crossing his arms.

“I know.. my bed was very expensive though. If you’d.. like something more comfortable.” You clear your throat. “My couch was, too..” You add on. You swear you could have heard him chuckle just a bit, but you weren’t too sure. His expression was still hidden by his mask, and you could only see his eyes.

“I’ll tell them to bring both, then. I’ll see how comfortable this expensive bed is.” You smile at him.

“I’m grateful. Thank you Ghost.. I mean, Simon.” He nods his head, going to sit on his couch. He sighs, resting his head back.

“Well? Show me.” He says out of nowhere. You look at him strangely.

“Show you what?” You ask.

“I need your comfort.” He says. Is he.. teasing you? “So comfort me.”

“Okay..” You say, walking over to him as he sits on the couch. His legs were spread open. You get down on the floor between his knees, placing your hands on his thighs. “I’m assuming this is the kind of comfort you’re really looking for.” He looks down at you, a hint of something in his eyes.. something like.. playfulness.

“What gave you that idea?” He says, pushing his hips closer to you. You chuckle.

“Okay, okay. I get it.” You slowly move your hands up his muscular thighs. He sighs at your touch, letting his head rest against the back of the couch again. His eyes close. You move your hands up, softly rubbing him outside of his pants. He groans at your touch, moving his hips just slightly. You were determined to get a reaction out of this seemingly emotionless man. You press your lips to the outside of his pants, teasing him. You kiss and lick him through the pants, making him still shift his hips a little. He looks back down at you, his gaze still just as icy and cold. He watches you as you take his zipper into your mouth, slowly tugging it down with your teeth. You smile up at him as you take out his cock. Your eyes widen at the sight of it. It’s.. incredible. A perfect length and size. He still watches you silently as you take it into your mouth. You tease the head of it with your tongue before sliding as much of it as you can into your mouth. You fit as much of it as you can, still having some left too. You use your hand to take care of the rest of the length as you begin bobbing up and down on him. You close your eyes, just enjoying the feeling of it. Soon though, you hear him snapping right in front of your face. It makes you open your eyes suddenly to see him glaring.

“Don’t look away from me.” He demands it. Demands it darkly. You nod your head quickly before you continue. His complete and total domineering attitude over you made you feel more excited than you had ever felt in a long time. You kept your eyes on him, pleasing him. You felt that he was getting close soon after you started, feeling him shifting more and grunting. He soon came into your mouth without much warning. The warm liquid seeps down your throat, and you happily swallow every bit of it. He throws his head back, riding out the feeling of the orgasm. He then slowly looks back down at you, with glazed over eyes. “Good girl..” He coos. You feel yourself clench hearing those words come from his mouth. You audibly moan, just slightly. Making him chuckle. Just a little. “Like hearing that, do you?” You nod your head. He motions his head toward the bedroom. “Good to know. Go on. Get undressed.”

“Okay.” You say as you stand up. He suddenly grabs you by the wrist.

“You should hear how I want you to address me.” He says, with his icy gaze still watching you. You nod your head. “For now.. you call me sir. Or Simon. Do you understand?” You nod your head again.

“Yes, sir..” You say. For now? Maybe it could change in the future. He motions his head for the bedroom again. You nod your head, walking in and beginning to undress. Once you started, you realized he was just standing in the doorway, leaning and watching you undress. You never felt nervous getting naked. Not in a very long time. So why did you feel nervous now? Knowing he was watching you filled you with excitement and anxiousness. You fully undress yourself, now naked in front of him. He motions for you to get on the bed.

“On your knees..” He says, almost purring the words. Something about it made you feel so turned on. So excited. You complied, getting on your knees for him. You feel him behind you, and you can feel his eyes on you. You never hear him remove his clothing fully. You only feel his hard cock pressing against your thigh as it drips on you. “You belong to me before anyone else. Do you understand that?” He asks, rubbing his cock all along your slit. It makes you shiver with anticipation.

“Yes, yes.. sir..” You barely get the words out. You begin wiggling your ass at him.

“That desperate are you? Maybe my men were right.. you’re going to be very well liked around here.” He begins slowly pushing his cock into you. You gasp out against the bedsheets for him, then moaning loudly as he sheaths himself inside of you fully. You feel so full and overwhelmed with the sensations of him. His dominating presence behind you made you feel even more turned on by him. You were already soaked, dripping all over his cock, and down to the bed. He chuckles. “My god, you’re soaked already.” You were unable to respond, reeling from the pleasure as he began thrusting in and out of you with force and speed. He grasped your ass with his hand, pulling you back against him hard. He was not gentle. Not in the slightest. But god it felt good. It felt incredible. His strength was immaculate. He forced you wherever he wanted your ass to be, and it was so exciting. He thrusted against you almost painfully so, smacking against your backside hard. His tattooed arm reaches forward, grabbing you around your throat. He doesn’t squeeze, he only pulls you back so that you aren’t hiding your face in the bed.

“F-fuck..” Is all you can choke out.

“Don’t hide those pretty noises. Let my men hear you.” With his hand around your throat, you were unable to hold back any noises you made. You screamed out for him, cursing and swearing over and over again. He went for what felt like hours.. the man had the stamina of a bull. It felt so good even so. Even though your skin was stinging from the slapping of his skin against yours, even though the sides of your throat became bruised by his fingers, you’d never felt so phenomenal in your entire life.

“S-siiimoonn..” You call out his name, only making him work even harder. Without any warning, he pressed your backside against him hard one last time. You felt him cumming inside of you. His seed filled you completely, spilling out of the sides. You lay there breathless as he doesn’t move, finishing out his orgasm. He pulls out of you slowly, grunting as he does so.

“Good girl..” He says again, making you smile and clench once again. He chuckles a little seeing this. “Go clean up and then come to bed.” He says, returning back to that cold man he was to begin with. He leaves the bedroom completely, returning to his office. You were now left alone, still breathless and shaking with pleasure. You gather your composure after a minute, dropping your legs and trying to stand. Your legs wobble as you walk to the bathroom. You run a bath for yourself, sitting down in the water. Only when you sit do you realize your skin is still stinging on your ass.

“Ow..” You whimper as you sit down more slowly. It hurt, but you really honestly liked the feeling of it. It made you feel accomplished. You bathe yourself, enjoying the large tub and the hot water healing your sore skin. Once you were finished, you realized you didn’t have any clothing to wear. You looked around to see if Simon had returned. He still seemed to be in his office. Afraid to open the door, you return back to the bedroom, lying down on the bed. Your body feels tired after that session with him, and you start to drift off to sleep. Before you do though, you hear Simon return. You pretend to be fully asleep, wondering what he was going to do. He walks into the bedroom and finds you there.

“I know you’re still awake.” He says, making you sigh.

“You’re not easy to fool are you?” You jokingly ask. He pulls most of his clothes off now, leaving a tank top, shorts, and his balaclava. “Don’t you want to take that off?” You ask. He glares at you.

“No. I don’t.” He says, blunt and cold like always. “I’ll return in a minute.” He goes into the bathroom and locks the door. You hear the water running for a few minutes before he quickly returns to you. Still wearing the same thing. He must have taken his balaclava off to wash, as his face looked wet. He climbs into bed next to you, resting his head on his arm. He closes his eyes, facing the ceiling.

“Okay..” You say, curious but also afraid to ask more about his mask and make him upset. “What will I be doing tomorrow?” He keeps his eyes closed as he talks.

“Giving a reward to two of my best men. Your comfort, if you will. They deserve it.” You nod your head.

“Okay. Both of them? At the same time?” He breathes out in a huff.

“Yes. And I’ll be observing.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“You’re going to watch me fuck your men?” He shakes his head.

“No. I’m going to watch them fuck you.” He opens one eye again to look at you for a moment. “Nobody will be with you unless I’m watching. Do you understand?” He asks, looking dead serious with that icy cold stare. It sends shivers down your spine.

“Yes.. I understand.” You sigh, letting the tiredness finally take over your body. You scoot closer to him, wrapping your arm around his. He opens an eye and looks at you, but then closes it back. “Is this okay?” You ask him, wanting reassurance.

“Do whatever you like.” He says nonchalantly. You stay like that, cuddling his arm for your own kind of comfort. You both fall asleep like this, barely.. kind of.. cuddling. Something about his coldness made you feel the desire to break down his shell. Get past his walls. There was more to him than he was letting on. And you were determined to find out what it was.

And.. did he say two of his men? At once?

AO3

Tags: @abbiesxox

#the ghost team bunny #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost Riley x reader #call of duty #fanfic #scenario #smut #simon riley #ghost #simon ghost riley

[cosmicjoke]

I think maybe the hardest part of reading “The Tale of the Body Thief” is just watching Lestat sink further and further into this belief of himself as an irredeemable monster, as an actual devil.  His sense of guilt is vicious, but he doesn’t seem to understand how its very existence proves he isn’t a devil, he isn’t evil.  But as he goes through this truly awful experience of being trapped in the form of a human body, it’s begun to erode away at his memories of mortality, of what it was like when he was genuinely human, to replace it in his mind and in doing so, his estimation of what it is to be human.  He dreams of Claudia laughing at him and telling him that he’s a liar, that he’s always felt being what they are is better than mortality, that he never wanted to be human, that he hates being human.  You can see the dire consequences of this experience for Lestat.  He doesn’t realize being in a mortal body is only so awful for him because he isn’t used to it any more.  He wonders how he EVER endured it.  It seems horrible in comparison to the power and freedom he has in his vampire body.  It would to ANYBODY, especially after so long a period.  But he believes it to be proof of his own evil, how much he hates it.  It’s a reinforcement of his guilt and self-loathing, and of a despair in him, a reminder of the uselessness of trying any more to be part of humanity, to be good, to do good. 

His dreams and visions of David and Louis and Claudia are painful to read.  He imagines them chastising him, calling him out for his self-delusion.  He thinks how he made Claudia because he could, because it was his only way of creating something, of giving his own life purpose, like the candle in the church which can make other flames, and he imagines David asking him why he tries to explain all the terrible choices he’s made as an attempt at some higher purpose.  David isn’t really there.  Neither is Claudia or Louis.  Lestat is asking himself these questions.  He’s criticizing and calling himself out.  He’s drowning in guilt over his actions, over his impulsive and thoughtless nature.  He imagines Claudia telling him that all the deaths she caused were really his, because he made her a killer.  He imagines her telling him he’s had far longer to learn the difference between right and wrong than she did. 

Lestat’s entire negative self-image is so wrapped up in how he was raised, and it’s fucking awful to see unfold.  I know I keep going back to this, but Lestat was made to feel unworthy of love from the time he was a child.  He was made to feel there was something wrong with him, that his very existence and nature made him something of a monster, that he was a burden and a disappointment and a failure.  And that belief gets reinforced again and again and again each time things like this happen, each time he makes a decision which backfires and results in some kind of horrible outcome.  It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy for him.  Like he’s been told all his life he’s a monster, and so he does things to prove it’s true.  And I think Lestat’s absolute terror at facing the disappointment of those he loves really says it all.  He’s horrified at the prospect here of Louis finding out what he’s done, of Marius finding out, of David finding out.  The thought of their disappointment is appalling to him.  And yet, again and again, whenever he gets himself into these horrific, terrifying, helpless situations, he cries out for them to help him.  When he ends up almost dying from hypothermia and is in the ambulance being driven to the hospital, he begs for their help, he begs for them come and save him.  We saw this from Lestat when he was trapped with Akasha too, or before that, when he played the violin for Akasha and Enkil.  In a way, I think, Lestat gets himself into so much trouble on purpose because he wants to test again and again if the people he loves truly love him in return.  He can’t really believe they do, even as he hopes desperately that they do, that they’ll come to his aid and prove him wrong, because he was raised to believe himself unworthy of love, as unwanted and a perpetual disappointment.  So he pushes again and again and again to see what it’s going to take to finally make the people he loves turn on him.  Again we come back to that self-fulfilling prophecy.  He’s certain he isn’t worthy of their love, and he sets out to make them admit it, to force them to admit what he thinks he already knows, that they really hate him, that they think of him as a burden. 

He’s convinced himself that he’s a monster, that he’s the very devil himself, that he does things purely out of selfishness and with a total disregard for the consequences because he’s evil, and he wants other people to acknowledge it, to tell him he’s right.  I think he wants that at the same time he wants them to tell him he’s wrong too, that he isn’t evil, he isn’t a devil or a monster.  He wants a confirmation from them so that he can stop suffering the way he does.  If he could stop feeling all this guilt, if he could really BE the monster he thinks he is, he wouldn’t be in so much pain.  Because a true monster, a truly evil being, wouldn’t feel any guilt for their actions at all.

I found the contrast between Lestat’s experience of the day time and his experience of the night before really fascinating and revealing as well.  Lestat’s feelings towards humanity, towards the people he encounters during the day, are incredibly charitable and kindhearted.  He’s horribly sick, deathly sick even.  But in the light of day, suddenly, the world and the people in it appear to him as beautiful as they would through his vampire eyes, where the night before everything seemed so ugly and plain and unremarkable to him.  He feels that his experiences in the day light are the experiences he was hoping for.  People see him and are kind to him, asking after his health, trying to help him.  He convinces himself that  he’s a part of them, in that moment.

“Many, many tourists braved the cold as I did to see the famous sights.  I reveled silently in their enthusiasm, realizing that all of these beings were affected by the broad open vistas of the capital city as I was affected by them- that it gladdened them and transformed them to see the vast blue sky overhead, and the many spectacular memorials to the accomplishments of humankind.

“I’m one of them!” I realized suddenly- not Cain forever seeking the blood of his brother.  I looked about me in a daze.  “I’m one of you!”

For a long moment I gazed won upon the city from the heights of Arlington, shivering with cold, and even crying a little at the astonishing spectacle of it- so orderly, so representative of the principles of the great Age of Reason- wishing that Louis were with me, or that David were here, and aching in my heart that they would so surely disapprove of what I had done.

But, oh, this is the true planet I beheld, the living earth born of sunshine and warmth, even under its shimmering mantle of winter snow...

... My heart was bursting as I realized that for these precious hours I wasn’t cut off from the sentiments expressed here.  Indeed, for this little while I mingled with the human crowd, quite indistinguishable from anyone else.

But this was a lie, wasn’t it?  I carried my guilt within me- in the continuity of my memory, in my irreducible individual soul: Lestat the killer, Lestat the prowler of the night.  I thought of Louis’s warning: “You can’t become human by simply taking over a human body!”

Lestat once again is seeking nothing more than to belong.  To find a place where he’s accepted and loved. 

He encounters a woman at the hotel he ends up staying in, who again asks after his health, observing that he must have been outside for a long time to be this sick, and he’s overcome with emotion at her concern.

“I stared at her, absolutely weakened by her concern, and realizing that I was in true danger of bursting stupidly into tears.  I wanted to warn her that I was a monster, that this body was merely stolen.  How tender she was, how obviously habitually kind.

“We’re all connected, all humankind.  We must care for each other, mustn’t we?”

He thinks she’s going to be horrified by what he says, but she only agrees with him, and asks again to let her call a doctor. 

This whole thing is absolutely heartbreaking, I think.  It literally just shows that Lestat only wants to belong.  But he’s so convinced of his own evil, that he can never truly feel like he does.  He’s too guilt-ridden. 

The last line of chapter 13 is really telling, though, in terms of what Lestat is missing.  He thinks he’s a monster, cut off from humanity in that monstrosity.  The nun who cares for him in the hospital offers to take him home with her, and as they’re leaving to get into her car, Lestat has to relieve himself, so he pisses in the snow.  And he says

“Lord God,” I said. “That feels almost good!  What are human beings that they can take pleasure in such dreadful things!”

Lestat is so self-loathing and so guilt ridden, he feels so cut off from humanity because he takes pleasure in “dreadful things”, like killing, like drinking blood from humans.  Because of his impulsive choices and need to break rules.  He hates himself for these things, and feels himself inhuman for being this way, and yet doesn’t realize that’s exactly what humanity is, sometimes.  Human’s themselves are the greatest monsters. 

Well, anyway, I’m loving this book.  I think I’m far enough in to make a determination on that.  I get why some people might hate it, but it’s such a rich psychological study of who Lestat is, and rather than making me sympathize with him less, it’s making me sympathize with him even more.  I feel for him so much, my heart breaks for him so much.  His fear of dying while he’s sick was heart wrenching.  Who wouldn’t be more afraid of dying the longer you’ve been alive?  Lestat thinks of himself as so far removed from his humanity, but he’s actually so deeply in touch with it, it’s kind of remarkable.  He understands the ugliness and horror of death, he understands how scary it is, to die and to never receive any answers.  He understands how unfair it all is.  He understands what it is to be alone, the fear of being unwanted and unloved.

He tells the nun

“And then I decided to do it, I didn’t care what he did with my body if he could put me into this human form for twenty-four hours so that I could see the sunlight, feel what mortals feel, know their weakness and their pain.

... and I decided to do it, simply do it.  Oh, I know it was wrong, wrong to let him go with all the power, but can you imagine, and now you see, I can’t die in this body.  The others won’t even know what’s happened to me.  If they knew, they’d come...”

He relates completely to that human need to be cared for, to be acknowledged and known and remembered.  It’s the thought of dying and his existence having no meaning, no purpose to anyone, the thought of dying in anonymity and alone that scares him so much.  It’s why he keeps thinking of Claudia, and her death, and wondering how she felt, wondering if she was scared in her final moments.  It’s those very qualities that make Lestat human, even if he is a vampire.

But he just can’t cut himself a break.  He’s so hard on himself.  And that’s completely human too.

#Lestat De Lioncourt #The Tale of the Body Thief #the vampire chronicles

[bi-bard]

In Different Universes - Will Graham Imagine (Hannibal)

Title: In Different Universes

Pairing: Will Graham X Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 889 words

Warning(s): mention of past trauma

Summary: [Season 3] (Y/n) and Will had each been handed a rotten hand of sorts. The only thing that seemed to pull either one of them through it was each other. Now that the pair of them have seemingly escaped the holds of Hannibal and their old lives, the pair tries to find peace in a small, secluded cabin.

Author's Note: I have toyed with this idea for a while. It was like there were a hundred ways to write it. I wrote this as a kinda-sorta crossover (it feels silly, but I thought it was cute). I went this way in the hopes of referencing things like the Skam universe. I hope I did that idea justice.

MORE OF THIS OC HERE

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(Y/n) had lived in isolation before.

With their mother many years ago.

(Y/n) could vividly remember how excited they were about the idea of leaving. Of finding a place that was simply more exciting. More interesting.

Some would say that (Y/n) had succeeded. Meeting Hannibal was definitely more interesting than most other things that (Y/n) had experienced. Sadly, the twist in (Y/n)'s story quickly became more horrific than interesting.

So, they ran back to the solitude they had once been so desperate to get away from.

This time was different. It was going to be different.

Because this time, they had Will with them.

The pair had already been hiding away. In Will's secluded house in Wolf Trap. After everything that had happened, they both needed a change of scenery.

They found a cabin tucked away in the woods, hours away from the rest of the world. No serial killers or FBI agents. Just a collection of dogs and some attempt at peace and solitude.

It felt natural for the pair of them.

Will was the closest thing that (Y/n) had known to a best friend. (Y/n) was one of the only people that Will thought could understand what he had been dragged through. They were both convinced that this was the only living situation either one of them could deal with for some kind of extended period.

One morning, (Y/n) was sitting out on the porch. A mug in their hands and a blanket wrapped around their legs. Will came outside a few moments later, going to sit next to them on the bench he had put there. A few of the dogs came out to join them, finding places around their feet.

At the time, they were still somewhat new to the area. It was nice. The weather took some time to adjust to, but the quiet of their cabin in the woods made that adjustment seem minuscule.

"Do you ever wish that we hadn't met," (Y/n) asked quietly.

Will looked over at them. "What?"

"We... We only met because of tragedy," they explained. "I just... Sometimes I wonder if certain things could've been avoided if we had simply never met."

It took Will a few moments to form some kind of response, "No."

(Y/n) looked back at him.

"I don't believe that us meeting is the reason that so much tragedy and death happened," he continued. "I think that Hannibal is at fault for that. Well, most of it. He was the common factor between not just our meeting, but through all of the death that followed."

(Y/n) looked down at their cup of coffee. They were still struggling with a lot of self-blame from what happened around them. It seemed inevitable. After being so close to Hannibal for so long, it sometimes was hard for (Y/n) to accept that they had no true control over what Hannibal had done. That they could never had stopped Hannibal's drives and desires. Not truly.

"I think we would've met even if Hannibal wasn't involved," Will added after a moment of silence. "Us meeting was inevitable."

(Y/n) scoffed.

"That sounded like you," he made the joke before they could.

"Oh, absolutely," they nodded.

"I meant it though," he muttered.

(Y/n) leaned over and rested their head on Will's shoulder.

Will let out a sigh, his shoulders falling a bit as he did.

"You're my best friend," (Y/n) mumbled.

"You've mentioned that."

"I know, but... I... I just want to make sure that you know."

Will grinned. Through all that had happened, (Y/n)'s true nature peeked through. Just for a moment. But it was there.

He let his head rest against (Y/n)'s. A calm, slow morning. Something neither one of them was used to.

Will was right.

(Y/n) and Will were meant to meet. Whatever entity that was in control of the universe seemed to have the pair of them in its good graces. Their paths crossed in almost every story you could think of.

As Will and (Y/n) sat together, drinking coffee on their little porch, other stories were also in motion.

One version of Will and (Y/n) were preparing for a murder trial that was causing both of them to lose sleep, even though both of them would tell the other to get some rest before going to court.

Another pair were curled on the floor of a small house, (Y/n)'s arms wrapped around Will as he confessed everything he had done. Sobbing and yelling and desperate attempts to explain that he was doing what was right for the movement.

A third pair were taking turns rambling facts about space back and forth to each other in a small apartment in New York.

A fourth was running around a castle, (Y/n) making fun of Will for the group of fans that seemed to be able to predict where he was going to be.

A fifth version of (Y/n) was just finding a bloody and exhausted version of Will, wrapping their arms around him and almost sobbing at the idea that they had almost lost him.

All of them had unique stories and lives. Each different. Yet the same basic idea... the pair of them were meant to meet. Meant to find each other. Maybe not romantically, but just as important.

The pair truly were some version of soulmates.

---------------------------

Author's Note: This feels silly and dumb, but I wanted to write it and I thought it fit pretty well in this little series. It also felt like a good way to break up the really heavy shit that this series usually handles.

Oh, and see if you can guess all projects referenced in this (I didn't change the names because it would've created quite a bit of extra work)

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#hannibal imagine #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal x reader #will graham x reader #will graham fanfiction #will graham imagine #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

[theblogofdavyjones]

The meaning of life

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warnings: None

Requested: @loner56

Request: Hi, can I have a scene in which the reader is in a bad mood, doesn't want to see anyone and forgets where she is? (the reason is constant thinking about the meaning of life) Davy Jones sees that she is devoid of any emotions, and he worries about it, wants to know the reason. Thank you :)

***

The mood swings was a true mystery to you, you couldn’t come with anything other than of yourself constantly thinking of the meaning of life and where you were supposed to go and settle.

It had been on your mind constantly that you had even wrote poems about it, and the helped only slightly. One of the lines go a little something like this:

On the way

Tryna get where I'd like to stay

I'm always feeling steered away

By someone trying to tell me What to say and do, I don't want it

I gotta go find my own way

I gotta go make my own mistakes

The thought of life itself could make one go mad, depending on how often it’s in mind. Someone such of yourself, this thought played your mind all of the time. The only truths you could count on was that life is precious and you only live once, that much in truth you knew and could easily accept it.

That was it, you had hoped for the longest time that someone out there in the world would someday come forward to you with the right answer and were unsure if you would ever truly know. Another truth you had dug out to believe was that of life is never easy and never will be for anyone. It didn’t matter how much it’s portrayed by the people on the streets. Thinking of life was the very thought that poked your mind in the night, causing you to lose the sleep needed in order to carry out tasks the following day. Because of the lack of sleep you were getting, it left you with bags under your eyes and you looked as though you had been working yourself sick and took ill. Everyone had took notice but were timid to approach you of this due to the fact you were snapping at everyone who tries to take care of you, even those who care about you.

The first to approach you was Maccus, the captain’s first mate and you had snapped at him to leave you alone. Being it as it may, Maccus had quietly reported this incident to Davy Jones and Davy had been keeping a sharp eye on you ever since. Of course, Davy Jones had no plans to confront you about this, to see what was wrong, but there was a change of plans when he sees you snap at Bootstrap Bill just two days later, and that’s when he decided enough was enough. Davy goes to approach you and when he gets over to you, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, you were still snapping at Bootstrap Bill and had said some unkind things to him. As you were snapping at Bootstrap Bill to leave you alone, this only concerned Jones more.

“I just want to forget everyone and to forget where I am, Bootstrap! Why can’t you all leave me alone?!”

After saying that, Davy begins to wonder if something had happened or if one of the crew mates had something you weren’t reporting back to him like you should. Now was the time he was going to get to the bottom of it, whether you wanted him to or not.

“(Y/n), what’s wrong?” Davy asks concerningly.,

“Nothing… I just need some time for myself is all.” You say with a wavering like voice.

Davy Jones obviously doesn’t believe your response, so therefore, he wasn’t in any way pleased at all. He asks the question a bit more forcefully this time, but not before he barks orders for everyone to leave you both be unless they want a horrific fate with the kraken. You couldn’t lie, watching everyone around you scrambling away regarding the orders of the captain, was quite amusing.

Not only was it amusing for you to watch, but it had also helped a small smile spread your pink rose lips, a smile that no one had seen in days, one of the things they missed about you. But the smile quickly vanishes the second Davy whips around towards you in a blink of an eye. You’d be lying if you were to say it didn’t cause fright because it certainly did.

“You want to tell me what’s really going on?”

“I honestly don’t know, I haven’t known for the last few days myself.”

Part of that was out of complete honesty while the other part wasn’t, it was far from the truth. If anyone knew Davy Jones in the way you did, you would know how easy it would be for him to sniff out lie just as quickly as if he were to pull the rug out from under your feet. Davy partially knew the answer was truthful at some degree, but he keeps pressing forward for more nonetheless.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

You were the only crew mate onboard the Dutchman, and it was unbeknownst to you. With you not having that knowledge, you were quite surprised but you’ve become more honest with your captain at this point, now that everyone was gone. It took after a brief moment’s of hesitation before you spill the beans on what’s been going on in your mind.

“Honestly… no. No I’m not okay.” You finally admit, looking away.

“What is it than?”

Davy Jones was truly sincere at this point so you proceed to share your thoughts with, and again with everyone gone, it made it easier for you to be more open. In other words, you felt comfortable sharing your thoughts with Davy. Davy listens intently as you go on to explain what had you question the meaning of life.

For moment, Davy was baffled and didn’t know what to say or know what he could do to help you. That was until he said something he often said when recruiting new members on the Dutchman. Davy wanted to explain it in the best way possible to help you properly understand, in the best way possible.

“Sometimes I feel as though I don’t have a purpose in life. I need some kind of sign to show that in fact I do have a purpose for walking the earth and what my life should be about, where I should be and settle.”

As much as you trusted Davy enough to tell him this, it didn’t help make it any easier as your voice shook, wavered while holding back tears. You than jump slight at the feel of Davy’s more human hand reached out and placed on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. Than out of the blue, you started reciting yet another verse of your poem, Davy could hear it but he couldn’t quote understand it so you repeat the line for him.

Sorry man for feeling

Feeling the way I do

Davy couldn’t bear it any longer, so he took hold of your hand before starting to make the way to the top deck, a place where you were viewed among the whole crew if not the whole world. It wasn’t until hearing those lines did Davy realized that you were devoided of any emotions there ever was in the world. Davy didn’t want you feeling this way during your time on the Dutchman and figured this was the best way to show that you indeed had a purpose there just as you would anywhere else in the world you chose to go.

No one had done anything so kind for you, just to show that they care, and this had tears beginning to well in your eyes. They were the kind of tears that you were able to hold back before one is let to slip down your cheek. You didn’t show it as Davy made a wholehearted, beautiful speech about you, about how lucky the crew was to have you and had better treat you right. The speech was made in front of the whole Dutchman residence and as the speech was being given, Davy’s human like hand never left your as he unexpectedly threw them both in the air as of to say you have united the ground in which you stood on. When it was just the two of you once more, Davy pulled you aside and whispered sweet beautiful words in your ear before letting you go. Despite Davy’s cruelty and dead heart, you now know that he looked at you differently than most.

Which was a nice feeling.

“(Y/n), I don’t want you to feel that way ever again. Understood?”

You nod.

During that time, you hug Davy of course and walk away with just only more a peaceful set of mind, but with less worry, along with a final line of your poem.

By the way, you I know your path has been tried and so

It may seem like the way to go

Me, I'd rather be found

Trying something new

And the bottom line

In all of this seems to say

There's no right and no wrong way

Sorry if I don't feel like

Living the way you do

Saying this in a way for it was only you who could hear it.

***

@theblogofdavyjones

Requests: open

A/N: Lyrics are from The Offspring’s “Meaning of Life”

Tags: @royisrandom @always-on-hiatus @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @mypookiebeardavyjones @marsswann @friendlynova @personlovinganime @marsswann @imalittleoutthere

#davy jones #davy jones fanfic #davy jones headcanons #davy jones reblogs #davy jones imagine #davy jones x reader #request #reblogger #reblogging #reblogs

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Well...That Happened...

Reactions and Thoughts For Episode 8 Under the Cut:

Hey, so my initial feeling about the episode honestly is that I'm really disappointed. Hated how the final fight went down. I feel like they handled the whole SB thing badly from the beginning. I feel like they (MM, Starlight and the show itself) put him on the same level of horrific as HL, and I'm sorry, but that just isn't true. (Although I do understand MM's motivations.)

Now SB is a racist, chauvinistic, rage-filled asshole. But HL is all that and a MILLION times worse!! Soldier Boy at least seems human, he's shown restraint a few times. (at least since he's been back from Russia) He has at least paid a debt for his crimes with 40 years of torture. Homelander has done NONE of that!!

Literally, SB may have been manageable, maybe his experiences in Russia changed him a bit. Who knows, but I feel like there was at least some wiggle room with him, somewhere to go. HL has proven time and again that he is incapable of being stopped. He's done every sadistic, horrific thing under the sun, but somehow SB was the one that absolutely had to be taken out?

They could have really used him against HL and from the beginning Starlight and MM acted like HL was just a secondary problem to SB! When it was 100% the other way around.

And what?!!! Butcher and Homelander worked together for a minute against Soldier Boy?

(x)

I get they were trying to protect Ryan, but I felt like that was kind of out of nowhere too. I didn't feel like HL's sudden, unswerving love for his son was earned. Obviously it's gonna be an easily overturned love too, as soon as Ryan does something HL feels is a "betrayal" he'll try to take him out too.

Anyway, I'm glad SB isn't dead, but I just feel like his character was kind of wasted. I LOVE his character and not just cause I want him to fuck me five ways from Sunday, but because I just think there's SO much more they could do with him.

In my mind the only way to redeem things is if in the end SB and Ryan team up, with the Boys of course and take out HL for good.

Things I really enjoyed about the episode:

Frenchie finally standing up for himself, being awkwardly badass and Kimiko cheering him on. 😍😍

Maeve kicking ass and freeing herself from the van.

Maeve not losing sight of the mission and kicking HL's ass.

Maeve faking her death and getting to go live a powers-free life with Elena.

Ashley helping her get away with it.

Noir's death scene literally made me cry. Obviously he's done some truly awful things too, but I really liked his character, and to watch his little woodland friends comfort him as he died just ripped my heart out. But that whole scene between HL and BN was incredibly well-done.

The scene between Butcher and SB talking about SB's father, and how it shows there's more than one kind of abuse. Jensen's INCREDIBLE acting in that scene.

Hughie making the right decision, not taking the V, and HELPING Starlight instead of trying to save her.

MM's scene with Janine. That was absolutely beautiful and a PERFECT example of what real strength and masculinity looks like. It was truly wonderful, when Janine puts her hand over his to help stop the ticks, and says, "You're my hero, Daddy." Ugh!!! ALL the tears! 😭😭😭

This line from Hughie when he's talking about his Dad, "He wasn't weak. I just...I didn't know what strength was." Truth. Hughie speaking absolute truth!

Starlight officially joining the boys, although I've disagreed with her and found her incredibly frustrating for most of the season. 😄😄

I've loved this season, overall, and even though I didn't like what went down in the end (If we need more proof that they went after the wrong fucking Supe, we can look to HL's actions in the final scene and the beginning of Ryan's corruption!) I'm still VERY excited for next season. I'm worried about Butcher, of course. I feel like the only way to save him might be to give him real V. Which will be an interesting dilemma for him! And we've got Neuman as the candidate for VP, yikes!!

So, bring on S4.

#the boys s3 #the boys s3 spoilers #the boys s3 episode 8 #reaction #soldier boy #butcher #homelander #kimiko #frenchie #MM #starlight #hughie campbell

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Heey. Its probably gonna be weird ask for an imagine.... but Steve's my comfort character... I had a miscarriage about 2 month ago and I'm wondering how Steve would react if his s/o would go through the same thing? How would he comfort her? It'd be amazing for me if you could do this imagine. Thank you ❤

Miscarriage 

Steve Harrington x female reader 

Very angst but some reassuring Steve.

I wrote it were the miscarriage is involved and he reassures you right after. If you would like me to write one where it's months after just lmk!

Trigger warning: talk of miscarriage, struggle with conceiving, the reader thinks bad about herself. 

I am so sorry that you have to go through this tough time, my heart goes out to you. 

You and Steve have been together for almost 3 years now and those 3 years have been some of the best of your life so far. He was everything you ever wanted in a partner and every day he reminded you how you were perfect for him as well. He never allowed you to wallow in insecurities just like you never allowed him to do the same. You two were best friends, truly, and have been through some hard times but those hard times just made you two stronger. However, this might be the hardest thing either of you has ever had to go through. 

Steve wants a big family. Everyone who knew the man knew this, he wants six little Harringtons running around and you wanted to give him those six cuties because you wanted the same thing. However, neither of you realized how hard it was going to be to try and get those babies. 

You have been trying to conceive for six months now and it just never happened. While you were devastated (and so was Steve he just hid it well). Steve was the one who strongly believed that it will happen when it happens. “Baby this is just the universe telling us we aren’t ready just yet. It’ll happen when it happens, and when it does happen we will be the best parents any child could ever wish for.” Steve always reassured you this after every negative test result and he would hold you as you worried. 

Finally, there it was. The test you just took gave you two of the results you’ve been waiting for! Scared to look you had Steve look for you and after he looked he screamed out of excitement “POSITIVE!!!” With tears in his eyes, he dropped to his knees and kissed your belly. You stood in shock ‘positive, it was actually positive, you two were going to be parents!’ Cries are all that was heard that day but not tears of devastation like it has been, no, these were tears of pure happiness, tears of pure love. 

It’s been about six weeks since you and Steve found out that you were pregnant and even though you two were extremely excited you both wanted to wait to tell anyone. You were in bed waiting for Steve to come home from work when all of the sudden you get these awful cramps. You never felt pain like this before. It had spread all through your belly and you grew extremely concerned. Crying out you ran to the bathroom and that's when you see it. Your upper thighs had blood on them. ‘Oh my god, this can’t be happening’ You collapse onto the floor, your legs giving in and you let out a scream that is horrific. This site is what Steve comes home to. He rushes to you. Taking in what is in front of him, his heart shatters. Steve helps you stand, he helps wash your thighs and he helps you to the car. The drive to the hospital is silent besides your sniffles. Steve looks emotionless. 

Upon entering the hospital you two are taken to a room quickly. The doctor does testing, she does ultrasounds and it's confirmed.

You miscarried. 

A part of you felt like you died, you look over to Steve and he is silently crying to himself. He is devastated, you are too. The doctor explains what happened and what to do next but neither of you is paying any attention. 

Steve helps you off the table, he helps you to the car, and once at the house, he helps you to the bed. “Steve, I’m so sorry.” You whisper crying, Before you can even form the next sentence Steve whips his head to you. “ Don’t you dare apologize, You did nothing wrong. You took such good care of our babies while we had them. And this has to be a sign that we aren’t ready just yet, does this sign suck? God yes it does, but we are going to get through this. We can keep trying or if you want we can try adoption, And if you want to try again in the future then I’ll make some doctor appointments and we’ll make sure we do everything we possibly can to make it go smoothly and healthy. Sweetheart, I do not blame you do you understand me? You did absolutely nothing wrong. You are so unbelievably strong and I’m sorry you had to experience that alone but I’m here now.” 

After Steve finishes what he wants to say the two of you are crying just as hard as you were before. Nodding your head you allow his words to seep through your brain, this isn’t your fault. There will be more time to try again and next time you’ll do everything in your power to make it go as smooth and as healthy as you possibly can. You believe every word he says. This is Steve, your best friend, the man who has stayed through hard times with you and this is just another thing you two will overcome together. 

Again I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you enjoyed this and don’t hesitate to request anything in the future <3

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[one-abuse-survivor]

So I (16NB) have recently started to wonder if my parents are abusive, specifically my dad. My dad used to work as a social worker and an employee at a children's home, so he always is saying stuff like "This is what we were trained to do" and whatnot. When I was littler, up until like 12, he would pin me down or put me in full body locks when I misbehaved until I calmed down. I wouldn't be allowed to talk - he would hold me there for hours even if I was asking him to let me go or telling him I was having trouble breathing because he's a 200 smth pound 6'2 man putting his entire weight on me. One time, when I was around 9(?) I bit him while he had me pinned to the floor because he wouldn't let me go even after I begged for over 30 minutes. When I bit him he slapped me in the face so hard my ears started to ring and I was disoriented. I don't remember what happened after that tbh. A few months ago, when I was 15, we got into a fight because he was blocking the door to my room and not letting me leave or close it because I used to self harm and I "had a bad day so he wanted to make sure I don't relapse." I kept asking him to let me out because arguments make me feel unsafe and whatnot but he refused. I said if he didn't let me out I'd climb out through my window. I guess he thought I was bluffing but I went to my window and kicked open the screen. He pushed me onto my bed and slapped me twice, my cheeks stung like hell. Another time he pushed me up the stairs at our house when I sat down and started crying on one of the steps, and I got cut on a nail. I still have a scar from that. Both he and my mom (my dad more often) would take videos of me when I was having a meltdown/tantrum and threaten to post it on facebook unless I calmed down and apologized.

Hi, nonnie.

This is most definitely abuse. Just the fact that your dad pinned you down with his whole wright when you were under 12, making it hard for you to breathe, is horrifying. That's seriously dangerous, and, although I'm not a social worker and I haven't had any training on de-escalating dangerous situations with children, I highly doubt that cutting a child's airflow in any way is a safe or effective de-escalation method. It sounds to me like a violent and dangerous tactic to scare an already struggling child into submission.

And, look, even if he was truly doing something he'd been trained to do safely to de-escalate some situations, why the hell would he do it to his own child?? When you're with your kids you should act like a parent, not like a social worker. But, honestly, that's besides the point here, because the truth is that no child deserves to be pinned down forcefully by an adult, ever. Not unless it's literal life-or-death.

And slapping is also physical abuse, especially so if it's hard enough to make your ears ring. So is locking a child inside their room, especially when you're supposedly doing it for their safety when that child is explicitly telling you that they're feeling unsafe precisely because of what you're doing. So is pushing your own child so violently they hurt themself.

And, gosh, nonnie, the fact they recorded your meltdowns and threatened to post them online is just the most vile and horrific thing. That's emotional blackmail. That's emotional abuse. That's guilt-tripping. It's just. Vile. I'm truly sorry they put you through that.

You didn't deserve any of this. As a kid, you deserved for your parents to talk your emotions through with you, to hold you and to tell you it's okay to feel sad or angry or scared from time to time. You deserved help learning how to navigate your emotions. And, when you felt like self-harming, you deserved to hear your parents say, "I'm here for you. You're not alone in this. How can I help?" NOT to be locked in your room against your will and have your safety and your emotional needs ignored and your agency taken away.

What your parents, and especially your dad, have done to you is extremely violent, scary, and abusive, and it sounds really traumatic. I hope some of this helps to hear, and I hope you know that you didn't deserve absolutely any of it.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive father tw #Abusive parents #Physical abuse tw #Physical abuse #Self harm tw #Self-harm tw #Sh tw

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

The Honey Trap part 2

Note: the idea of sexpionage is wonderful to use in fics, but I want to make it clear that sexpionage is a daunting and grim reality too, and I am very aware of that and do not mean to ignore that. It is a trope I am using, lighthearted, but I do not want to pretend that the actual act of sexpionage is not horrific to many involved. That being said, I will not describe the horrors of it. This is a work of fiction, but created with some knowledge about the real thing.

follow up to part 1.

Warnings: 18+! smut.

Pairing: Modern Spy!Sihtric x Spy!Reader (f)

Summary: You gave Sihtric something in return for some information.

Word count: 1,7k 

Masterlist

Chapter 2: the confirmation.

The first night you met Sihtric he truly thought you'd invite him up to your room to have sex, and he was surprised when that didn't happen. In fact, you didn't invite him at all, you simply kissed his cheek and told him to call you before his eyes landed on your buttocks as you walked up the stairs to the hotel entrance. He was as disappointed as he was surprised, and he didn't know that it was just all part of your plan. A plan that still seemed to be very much in motion the next day.

Another lesson taught during your training was to never give your target what they want straight away. You have to slowly lure them in, only giving a little each time. And when Sihtric called you early in the afternoon the next day and asked you out, you knew he had fallen for the trap you had so carefully set up. He seemed to believe the lies you told him, that you were just a girl in a big city looking for a way to make her dreams come true as an actress. You couldn't afford a home yet, so you rented a hotel room at a fixed rate. Your story wasn't uncommon, Sihtric knew, as many girls lived like you in order to chase their dreams before realising it would never happen. Sihtric felt for you in a way, if you were truly one of those girls, but then again… he still didn't exactly trust you, yet you had piqued his interest in multiple ways.

You accepted his invite and met up early in the evening at a fancy restaurant, one that was supposed to be way above your budget and you knew that Sihtric had chosen the place on purpose. It was a man's way of having a certain power over a woman, because he would pay for you and therefore probably thought you'd owe him something in return. 

You put on some makeup, never too much as it would risk leaving traces, so you only used a hint of eyeshadow and a red matte lipstick; liquid, so it wouldn't stain. You wore a little black dress that showed off your shape and you carried a matching shoulder bag, which held some cash, a credit card, lipstick, a mirror and a small knife that was lethal enough to kill with.

You had been taught to tune out your emotions, and that is what you did when Sihtric embraced you firmly upon meeting again. He looked handsome, dressed in all black wearing tight fitting jeans and a silky blouse. He had several shiny rings around his fingers and an expensive watch around his wrist, clearly flaunting his dirty richness.

You played the part of being the interested date and, just like that night before, conversation with the stunning man went effortlessly. It seemed that he swallowed every lie you told him with ease again, and soon you found yourself sitting next to him with his arm resting on the back of your chair, his warm fingers lightly caressing your bare shoulder. He leaned in every time he spoke, using his voice again as a way to enchant you, while you used the same tactic on him too. You eventually had dinner together and shared a few drinks as time passed by.

The entire evening you enjoyed each other's company and listened to the lies you told each other, which you both weren't aware of. And regardless of the lies, you both felt that there was a strange sort of connection between you two.

'You know, I was surprised you called me,' you smiled when it was almost midnight.

'How so?' Sihtric asked as he leaned back slightly.

'I thought you only wanted sex, and I didn't give it to you.'

'I didn't just want sex last night,' Sihtric half lied, 'but I wouldn't have declined if you had offered.'

'Well, I'm not that easy,' you said and gave him a playful wink.

'Good,' he said and took a sip of his drink, 'because easy bores me.'

'Then tell me,' you leaned closer, his arm still around your shoulders, 'what excites a man like you?' you asked as you trailed your fingers over his chest.

'I'm also not that easy,' Sihtric laughed, 'you'll have to stick around if you want to know what excites me. But what about you, hm? What excites a lady like you?'

'I guess you'll have to find out too,' you teased.

'I suppose,' he agreed, then decided to subtly pry, 'so, what brought you to that pub? Not many know how to find it, and those who do don't stick around and they definitely don't look like you.'

'I…' you paused, surprised by the sudden question and you tried to gather your thoughts, 'I guess I just… have a thing for bad guys.'

'Bad guys, huh? What makes you think I'm a bad guy?'

'You look like one,' you smiled sweetly, 'all handsome and yet so rugged looking with those scars and your tattoos, while also having a form of mystery around you and clearly, you are very wealthy. I think it's sexy. And I won't lie,' you decided to give him some truth after stroking his ego, 'I am aware of the crowd that goes to that pub. And maybe I like that.'

'So that's what excites you?' Sihtric grinned, 'so-called bad guys?'

'Perhaps,' you shrugged with a sly smile, 'or perhaps… only you excite me.'

'Hm, so then I take it, you know who I work for?'

'I think so,' you played dumb, 'I mean… I think everyone knows the stories about Skade and those who hang out at that pub. But I don't know if they are true or if you actually work for her.'

'Everything you hear about her,' Sihtric said quietly, 'is true. You can take that from me, I know her very well.'

'Gosh, I want to be like her,' another lie spilled easily from your lips as you looked into his eyes, 'she is so powerful and rich. It would be an honour to meet her sometime, but I know that's impossible.'

Sihtric smiled at that and, after you had finished your drink, he invited you over to his luxurious apartment. You knew he was expecting some form of sexual pleasure, and you would give him just enough to keep him interested, but also to reward him for confirming that he indeed worked for Skade and was close to her. And the sexual tension had been there all night, one that seemed almost real, and for the first time in your career you were actually rather excited to please your target.

But as your training had taught you, you knew to keep your distance too in order to not have your own feelings interfere with your job. So you didn't kiss him, no matter how many times Sihtric tried to pull your lips towards his as the elevator took you to his floor. You always subtly rejected him by kissing his jaw or his neck, and you popped the buttons of his dark blouse to trail your lips down to his chest. His hands were all over you as you hooked your fingers around his belt, pulling him with you inside his apartment and pushing him down to sit on his couch, which overlooked the city skyline as his place was located on the 16th floor.

Sihtric sat back and lit a cigarette, completely relaxed with hooded eyes while he watched you unbuckle his leather belt after you had dropped smoothly down to your knees in front of him. Your mouth was practically watering at the thought of giving him a blowjob, and you would make sure it was going to be the best he ever had; meaning you would trap him even further as he'd become addicted to you in a lustful way.

You locked eyes as you unzipped his pants, licking your lips seductively while he helped to lower his boxers just enough to allow his hard cock to jump out. You hummed pleased at the size of him and the way his cock was already glistening with precum; you were to wrap him around your finger so easily, it was almost too good to be true.

Sihtric took a drag of his cigarette while you quickly tied your hair, then worked him first with your hand while using your saliva and tongue to prepare his length to which he smiled almost devilishly, and he spread his arms across the backrest of his couch as he enjoyed the view. You kept your purse nearby, in case your target was to try something and you had to defend yourself, but you couldn't help but feel just as relaxed as he was. Which was a pleasant change in your line of work.

You then wrapped your red lips around his cock, slowly sucking him while using your hand at the same time. You looked up at him as you were down on your knees, and the moment you heard him hiss between his teeth and saw how he threw his head back… you knew your trap had just closed further on him. You bobbed your head up and down, keeping a steady pace that simply made his head spin and soon you felt his hand in your hair. He gradually pushed your head down further as you sucked him, and you tried to relax in order not to gag as you let him fuck your throat. 

'Fuck,' Sihtric breathed, then took another drag of his cigarette.

You couldn't help but moan as you felt yourself getting wet while pleasing him. His soft moans increased in volume while you gazed up at him as tears ran down your cheeks, a sight that tipped him over the edge almost as soon as he looked down at you. Not much later you felt and tasted his warm cum as he came in your mouth, and he slowly released his grip on your head.

'Swallow,' Sihtric rasped, 'be a good girl and swallow every fucking drop I give you.'

As you wiped your mouth and tear stained cheeks, you didn't realise that you had walked straight into his trap, for the entire evening Sihtric noticed you did everything according to the sexpionage rules that he had been taught as well. But as it had truly been the best blowjob he had ever received, Sihtric had no problem ignoring the red flags, and so you further trapped each other with sweet honey coated lies…

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