#some liberties are taken with the designs but honestly who give a shit

[goddessalexissara]

Predicting What The DLC Emblems Will Do

[Image Taken from https://twitter.com/FeEngage ]

Hey. so today I wanted to go over characters that were datamined to be the remaining DLC Emblems in Fire Emblem Engage. Talk about what they might bring to the table and what I think of them. Overall, I think this is a bit of a let down of a showing that both could have been bigger but also simply had more interesting roster choices. That said this is also by far not the most boring list, many many people speculating were like "it's obviously gonna be my favorite sword lord they didn't include" and obviously, they were wrong. I think overall, the DLC Emblems could be a lot better and I do hope there is at least some kind of surprise awaiting us to improve this showing like skins or something.

That said, I am still excited for the story expansion and these, well I don't think any of them would get me to play the game again, I do think I'd consider using all of them in a fun to play the DLC story, although we'll have to see what they bring to the table.

Veronica

Veronica is the hero who really brings the widest net of possibility to the table. Even in terms of looks she has 3 very possible looks that simply could happen to be the look they chose for her. I believe Veronica: Princess Rising is the most likely version we'll see given she was the app icon for quite a while, they marked the shit out of her, and it seems to be her new default form and it is her form when she joins the heroes.

Her main gimmick likely focuses on summoning heroes while her top end weapon is probably Enclosing Dark, the tome from her most recent weapon with her earlier weapon probably being Élivágar, and Ífingr. How these weapons translate into FEH I am not sure but I imagine them being very flashy and aggressive tomes, emulating dropping specials on foes in Fire Emblem Heroes. She will probably give proficiency for Staves and Tomes.

Summoning Heroes is such a wide pool of possibility though, it could work like the summoner class from Sacred Stones, like Tanith's signature ability on Path Of Radiance, like Duplicate in Fates. For this, I think we'll likely see it summon 2 heroes that are random, simulating a gacha. I think they work in 3 tiers. 3 Star - Embla/Asker Solider, generic weak units, probably die in one hit, scaled to the emblem wearers level. 4 Star - Asker Trio, fairly weak but more useful, able to take a hit. 5 Star - summons more popular OCs Leagjarn, Fjorn, Lief, and Thrasir who will all have little signature abilities. Perhaps her Emblem attack will lock in for sure generating a rare 5 star or maybe even multiple.

As much as there is to be critical of heroes about in terms of a DLC emblem ring Veronica is honestly loaded to the brim with potential on what she could bring to the table, a lot of emblems I'll be staining to find out what they do over already existing rings but Veronica I could pitch like, 12 different ways she works.

Camilla

With no flying characters at all being represented in the emblem rings, it's easy to bet that Camilla will be very focused on providing fliers what they need. Camilla was a power house in her own game and with a huge fan base behind her I am sure they will want her to stand out and feel like a power house in the game. I think she is likely to add splash damage to the game as well, with her Savage Blow Skill and her personal skill allowing her to be a support unit will likely be reflected.

Camilla could bring in the Fates exclusive magic to the game. While most of that is on t he Hosido side she could be based in post game Revelations or in her Brave Alts alternative universe. In her core class she can't reach a high weapon rank of any weapon I think liberties will be taken here. Perhaps she provides Sanngriðr as an aggressive staff, Bölverk her fathers Axe, and her most basic weapon being something like Dragon Spirit. She will likely give a proficiency in Tomes, Axes and Staves.

I think the design ethos for Camilla is going to end up being duel natured where she is both an offensive and support unit with no defensive offerings outside of what she provides for others. I think her passive will be twofold, buffs nearby allies and also when the person using Camilla attacks, enemies with in two spaces of attack target are dealt splash damage. I think her Engage attack with be a reference to her Musou attack from Fire Emblem Warriors much like Marth and Corrin both taking from Super Smash bros. It'll be big damage with huge splash damage, potentially even dealing damage to every non boss enemy on the map.

Soren

Soren is a weird choice, a character I really like but not nearly as stand out as any Laguz or Elenica in terms of what mechanics he can bring to the table. We can assume the Adept skill he gets would be carried in allowing any attack, maybe locked with tomes or maybe after passing a skill or speed check like in his games would get brave hits. This would allow Soren to be a hyper aggressive emblem, perhaps that wanted the unit to be alone given Soren is a bit more of a loner then most of the other emblems.

Soren being a master of wind tomes could likely bring in powerful wind magic like Tornado and Rexcalibur. As a reference to Ashnard he could give Gurgurant. In that spirit he could also negate criticals like Ashnards abilities and weapon both do. There could be things to do with Soren being a tactician or being part of Griels mercs, calling on other characters or allowing for some tactical shifts. Perhaps Soren could have a radius that allows people to shove each other inside of as a reference to PoR and RDs mechanic. Soren could also provide "drive' effects that provide passive buffs for allies with in two spaces depending on what type of unit is engaged with Soren.

Overall, I think that this gay tactician will be a great emblem ring for Mage units and a mostly aggressive ring with any support it might provide not being the focus. While there is potential for a more support oriented role and despite Soren being a tactician, Soren is more of a selfish character and I do think that will be reflected in his kit.

Hector

I'm more then willing to bet that Hector brings in more support for Armors and Axes, alongside what became his Fire Emblem Heroes staple, Distant Counter. I believe the big selling point of Hector will be the ability to counter ranged attacks, I am not sure if it will be "any range" only one space away attacks, any range but has to pass some kind of check like Lyn's speed check for Vantage or just a roll with a perfect chance if on an armor unit. Regardless this passive alone if it happens would basically lock in Hector as one of the best emblems even in it's weakest form being able to simply counter attack mages and archers is a massive boon for so many units and lets them avoid using weaker 2 range physical weapons.

If any ring was going to be a purely selfish ring it be Hector. The armor lord is a brawler through and through and I think Hector will make any unit a mixed phase power house given you aggressive tools in both phases of combat. I wouldn't be shocked if at higher bound level Hector gave Unbreakable as well as "Reduces Effective Damage" abilities. Given that Hector is an armor unit It makes sense for Hector to give you all the tools to enemy phase wipe out with no worries about what tools your foe is packing, mage, archer, armor slayer, weapon triangle, fuck you, I'm Hector.

Hector will likely provide a Brave Axe for multi attacks even if your slow, Wolf Beil to be effective against Cav and Armor units and Armades to bolster your defense and provide you with effective damage against dragons [maybe corrupted instead]. I believe these weapons are the most likely since two are signature Hector only weapons and the other is a weapon he has in Binding Blade.

Chrom and Robin

I had no idea what Chrom brings to do this duo given he is in fact, made totally redundant by his daughter, Ike and Marth all existing in the game already, yet he was here. That's when it hit me, this unit has the potential to be the ultimate support unit, representing the boyfriends love for one another that was so strong it defied fate.

Unlike Erika and Ephraim or Edelgard (With Dimitri and Claude) I belive Chrom and Robin will always be working together and not have a mechanic where you switch between them. I think they will provide a Support boost where units equipped with them gain support levels faster. I think in addition to that they are likely to provide the Liberation boost to nearby allies helping others engage faster but perhaps only when your actually engaged with this unit. Pairing well with that maybe boosting damage done with back up attacks which would have them pair well with Lucina could also be a factor. They could also give the ability to hit the weaker of defense or res as a passive ability letting them make any unit a threat to more or less every unit in the game given how rare it is to be good at Res and Def. That way this unit does offer something offensively outside of passive support.

I think we'll see Falchion [Sealed], Thoron, and Destiny's Bow. We'll see the weakest version of the Falchion in the game as a basic weapon, good against dragons, maybe heals you a bit after combat. Thorn is the spell most commonly associated with Robin being part of their kit in smash bros and in their appearance in Fates is their default weapon. Destiny's Bow comes from Fire Emblem Heroes on the Robin and Chrom V-day alt, I think it will be some kind of special bow so I figured, why not throw out that one. If it is Destiny's bow it probably boosts damage they deal by amount of allies near by and effective against armors in addition to fliers.

That's just what I think these units will do, what do you think? Do you have different ideas for these characters, do you think the Datamines are wrong, do you hope there is more secret Emblem Rings we don't know about or do you like the roster?

#veronica fire emblem #Veronica FEH #FEH #Fire Emblem Engage #FE17 #FE17 DLC #DLC #Hector #Soren #Camilla #Chrom and Robin #FE Engage

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Megumi Fushiguro + chubby s/o

First things first, before we get to the fluff, there are some things we gotta point out

Megs has stated very clearly he doesn't care who he falls for, as long as they have admirable traits. Seriously, Todo, stop asking. His "boring" answer isn't going to change.

This screams bi/pan rights, but also, that means he doesn't give a fuck if you have a little junk in your trunk

I'm so proud of that line please laugh at it

Anyway, when you were introduced as a new student, he didn't talk to you much

Well he did, but only about work and missions and stuff

Does this kid talk to anyone about anything that isn't curse related?

You seemed to gravitate towards Yuji anyway because honestly, he's the embodiment of happy he's just a cool dude

You didn't really catch his eye until he overheard you talking with Nobara about how upset you were with Gojo

He never passes an opportunity to be angry at Gojo. He was intrigued.

Apparently, Gojo had taken the liberty of designing your uniform for you, just like he did Yuji, but he fucked up the measurements

Big time

You seemed to be fond of baggier clothes because it "hid" your tummy and thighs

Nobara was supportive but struggling. She knew how to hem clothes to make them tighter, or shorter, not looser. She really was trying.

Yuji got involved because he saw you were stressed while Nobara tugged here and snipped there and nothing seemed to be working. Yuji learned that making silly faces and doing Fortnite dances doesn't help teenagers going through a body image crisis.

Megumi looked at the chaos and spoke before he really even knew what he was saying 

"Does it feel too tight? Does it restrict your movements, like in a fight or something?"

This kinda caught you off guard, but you shook your head. No, the material was naturally flexible and breathable, and the reason you couldn't breathe wasn't that the uniform top was too tight, it was because you felt you looked terrible

Megumi just shrugged. "Then you shouldn't worry about it. You fill it out nicely. It looks better than us, in our baggy uniforms."

Where the fuck did that come from Megs?

He felt the need to excuse himself with a polite bow and leave in his typical cool Megumi way even though his heart was beating faster than anything

He didn't see the way your face lit up, both with excitement and blush. Nobara did and caught on instantly, while Yuji just assumed you were hot and started fanning you with his notebook

Megumi didn't avoid you after this, but he did tend to freeze when your conversations strayed away from typical shaman things

He wasn't trying to, he was just constantly lost in thought

Why did he say that? Well, he means, it was obvious he said it because it was true- that uniform clings to your body in a way it wouldn't fit anyone else. Its kinda hot

Megumi Fushiguro this is your classmate stop having those thoughts

Maybe he wasn't just trying to cheer you up. Maybe there are some things he hasn't discovered about himself. He actually really never had a crush on anyone. Is that was this is? Feelings?

Ew. But keep going.

Megumi noticed things over the next couple of things that were unsettling to him. You used self-deprecating humor. A lot. Always poking fun at yourself. He didn't mind it at first because, well, you laughed about it, but still. It's like you thought you really looked like the Michelin Tire Man.

He never knew what to do in these situations. Should he laugh? It seemed to bring you joy. But he didn't think you looked bad at all.

He also noticed you didn't eat much. And when you did you avoided sweets and grease. Megs was known for being the only one that ate healthy in the group, but even he didn't have salad all the time. You acted like you were embarrassed to eat in front of people, so you chose the tiniest meal.

This worried him a lot. At first, he bored you with the importance of eating three well thought out and balanced meals with the proper amount of proteins and calories and shit. But that seemed to ruin your appetite more, so he stopped.

He started sliding part of his meals onto your plate. He considered it a success when you would eat it.

The last thing Megs noticed was that you pushed yourself to the absolute limit during sparring practice and he hated it

See, you actually didn't need to be physically strong. Yes, it helps in battle, but your particular cursed technique kinda made up for being average strength. If no one could get close to you, and you can't get close to them, then you don't really need to deliver a punch, right? 

But you would just keep at it oh my god

One hundred push-ups. One hundred sit-ups. One hundred squats. Every day. He was worried you were gonna go bald at this point

He'd still love you but still, spontaneously losing your hair because of rigorous training as not good

You'd fight with one of them until you were pink and dripping with sweat. It was obvious you were breathing heavily and, honestly, it's been two hours. Even Yuji was getting tired, but you wouldn't stop.

Megumi found himself doing something he thought he never would. Ever.

He invaded your privacy, of course. 

"Shoko-sensei, Gojo-sensei asked for a copy of (l/n)-kun's physical and related medical records"

At first, he just wanted to see if you were anemic. You don't really show any symptoms, but also, you don't eat a lot. All this exercising can't be good if you are. Then his thoughts strayed to "oh god .... What if they have heart problems? Lung problems? They shouldn't push themselves so hard if they do. What if they avoid certain foods because of a stomach issue? What if-"

You're healthy. Just as he initially thought.

Megumi was baffled, to be honest. 

He can get avoiding certain foods if they hurt your tummy. But what if you were just afraid of being made fun of because of stupid cliches?

He can get casual exercise if it was important you lose weight so you don't get sick. But what if it was because you really hated how you looked?

This hurt Megumi. He threw his copy of the reports in the shredder and went on his way

He wondered around, lost in his thoughts until he spotted you just outside of the girls' dorms doing something

He could have sworn you were fresh out of the shower but somehow still exercising

Yoga? Maybe? He couldn't tell and he didn't care

You were wearing the cutest set of pajamas, and your hair was still damp

And when you raised your arms up your shirt rose and he could see the tummy in question, complete with stretch marks and whatever other blemishes resided there (scars, freckles, etc.)

He did the most ooc thing I've ever made this lil fucker do

He runs up, gets on his knees, and kisses the tummy

All over the tummy

Just as he thought. Warm and soft. Both the skin and the texture are soooo soft-

As you turn into a flustered mess, "Fushiguro-san what the fuck", he throws his arms around your knees and throws his over his shoulder

"You aren't that heavy if I can do this... (Y/N)-chan"

Oh god the way your first name rolls off his tongue

Well, as long as he's near the girls' dorms, he might as well let himself in-

As you flail and giggle, trying to break away, he sees your thighs jiggle out of the corner of his eye

This sets something off in him he doesn't understand, but also, who the fuck cares

It isn't hard to find your room and he allows himself in, still pardoning himself for the intrusion, and he sets you down on your bed

Still doesn't give you a chance to speak as he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles his face in your stomach

"Warmmm...~"

He's never cuddled anyone ever, but he already knows this is ten times better than cuddling someone who's built like a wall

Squish > muscles

"You know you're beautiful right?"

This makes you blush, but you reluctantly bring your fingers through his hair. "You think so?"

Megumi furrows his brows and looks up at you. "You don't?"

Megumi stays with you all night. You two stay up until three am talking about insecurities, everything you admire about each other, and Megumi practically worships your body through words and praise

He decides he's going to help you feel more confident about your body and your looks

All while loving every inch of your body

The next morning was a mess though because he had to somehow sneak out of the girls' dorms without anyone noticing

Gojo would be pissed if he found out

Had he not orchestrated this whole thing

Seriously, you honestly thought Gojo made mistakes? 

He hates seeing his precious students down themselves, and even though he only knew you for a couple of days back then, he knew this would be a problem

Precious little y/n, who is beautiful in every aspect but insecure about their looks, surrounded by muscle-bound idiots

He had to do something, how could he not

He knew one of them would enjoy your body

He knew it would be Megumi too, he sees how he looks at plus-sized girls-

Even he thought you were cute and was proud to have you as his child

All of his children are cuter than everyone else's children

And now all is well

You became more confident in your body and eating in front of others, toned down the exercise, and Megumi became the most whipped boy in the school

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

#jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk fushiguro #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro

[cherryrogers]

Falling For You.

— Chapter 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

(Modern High School AU)

Warnings: None.

Synopsis: Unlike most teenagers, you had your life completely mapped out. You’d graduate high school, go off to the university of your dreams, and live the life that your parents always wanted you to. That was always the plan.

Falling for Bucky Barnes, however, was never part of the plan.

Being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough. Becoming anything more is too much. But suppressed feelings can’t stay ignored forever, and you were about to learn that a lot sooner than you thought.

Inspired by the song ‘Fallingforyou’ - The 1975

A/N: ok so i’ve finally took the time to properly start planning chapters ahead of time, so hopefully i can start writing this a bit quicker lmao. i’ve also made a playlist for this fic which i might post soon?? idk,,, anyway, feedback is always appreciated and please enjoy!

Series Masterlist

__________________________________________

With only a handful of weeks left until Winter break, you had decided to buckle down and put all of your efforts back into maintaining your grades.

After the painful conversation with your mom, and knowing that she’d be home in a week, you were determined to make sure the time she’d be back for wasn’t going to be a nightmare, and that’d definitely be the case if you didn’t crack open your textbooks and get your head down.

Despite you being the one to force yourself into studying day and night, it still didn’t stop you from groaning internally at the textbooks that you were tugging out of your locker, which most likely wouldn’t even fit in your backpack, meaning you’d have to carry the damn things all the way home. Great.

While you barely held the four thick books in your left arm, you shut your locker with the other, letting out a gasp at the sight of someone leaning against the locker next to you.

“Can’t you just say ‘hi’ like a normal person instead of lurking next to my locker and waiting for me to see you?” You asked, moving the books in your arms so you were hugging them to your stomach.

The boy only chuckled, ignoring your annoyance before eyeing the stack of books in your grasp. “You know, I thought I’d finally gotten through to you on how much time you waste studying, yet here you are with half the damn library in your locker.”

“My mom’s coming back next week, Bucky. Unless I want to face her wrath, I’ve got to get an A in every test we get in class over the next week.”

“So, is that your way of saying that I’m not gonna see you for the next seven days?”

You nodded reluctantly. “I don’t necessarily have a death wish, so yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Mirroring Bucky’s stance, you leaned your side against the lockers, getting a headache just from the thought of opening your front door and seeing your mother staring back at you. As long as you aced all of your tests, it’d be fine, right? She can’t be mad at you for improving, yet she’ll probably find a way to be, considering she loves to be mad at you for everything.

The corner of his mouth curled up. “Well, you’re gonna have to find some free time, sweets. Winter Formal’s comin’ up, and I don’t think they’ll let you in with those jeans that you never take off.”

Shit, he was right. The Winter Formal was happening in three weeks, and if you didn’t dress shop as soon as possible, you’d never have a dress ready for you in time for the dance. Not that you were particularly big on school dances, but it was your senior year, so it was one of the last dances you’d even have in high school. Plus, even if you insisted on not going, Wanda and/or Bucky would most likely pester you into going.

“God, dress shopping is the last thing I wanna think about right now.” You sighed. “I’ll probably have to ask my mom for money to buy it, too. That’ll bring on the ‘you should have a job by now’ lecture, and I swear, Bucky, if I have to hear that damn speech for the hundredth time...”

“I’m sure you’ll work somethin’ out.” He reassured you. “You could always help out at the auto-shop, if you wanted to.”

You could tell he was joking, but the suggestion still made you scoff. “You can see me greasing cars and fixing tyres?”

“I can see you lookin’ cute in a pair of overalls.” The boy winked.

You chuckled, shaking your head while ignoring the flutter of your heart at his stupid way of flirting. “While I appreciate the offer, I think I’ll have to pass. My only plans up until the dance are to memorise every piece of information in these books.”

As you readjusted your grip on the textbooks, Bucky rolled his eyes, like he did every time you talked to him about studying. “Speaking of the dance, you’re gonna need to find a date.”

If he wasn’t right, you would’ve scoffed and told him that you didn’t have to take a date, but considering that Wanda and Vis would be going together, Steve would likely be bringing Peggy, and Sam would probably be able to charm a girl into going with him, everyone would be showing up with a date except you.

“I know, but who would even wanna go with me?” You shrugged.

Bucky wanted to laugh. Sometimes, he wondered if you really were completely obvlivious to his feelings for you. He knew he couldn’t necessarily act out in them - not yet, anyway - but he wasn’t exactly hiding them either.

Him. He would want to go with you. Of course he would, which reminded him...

“I was meant to ask you, actually...” Bucky started, but was soon interrupted by another figure approaching the two of you.

A mess of silver hair caught his eye, and he suppressed the groan he so desperately wanted to let out.

Pietro. Of course, he just had to ruin the moment, didn’t he? Couldn’t the guy have waited just another ten seconds to waltz over and-

“Pietro, hey.” You greeted the boy, who grinned boyishly down at you in response.

“Hey, (Y/N). Bucky.” He nodded towards your friend, who only gave him a half-hearted smile which you didn’t quite catch. He turned back towards you, suddenly looking a little nervous. “Do you mind if we talk for a moment? Just us?”

Furrowing your brows, you hesitantly looked back at Bucky, who let out a quiet chuckle before pushing himself off the lockers. “S’alright. I’ll see you later, (Y/N).”

“But weren’t you gonna ask-”

“It’s not important, honestly.” The brunet quickly shook his head, beginning to walk away from your locker. “I’m heading out now with Steve and Sam, anyway.”

“Oh, you are? Could you ask Sam if he could drop me off at home on the way?” Sam had gotten used to being the designated driver most days, considering his two best friends annoyingly opted for motorcycles rather than cars. “I’ll meet you again in five?”

Bucky nodded, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Sure; we’ll just be in the parking lot.”

And with that, he quickly walked away. It was okay, he could just ask you another time, right?

Pietro soon replaced Bucky’s spot against the lockers, the white sleeve of his hoodie being a contrast against the surface in comparison to Bucky’s dark leather one. You were still a little puzzled as to why Pietro couldn’t have said what he wanted to in front of Bucky, but you gave him a kind smile anyway.

“I’m sorry for interrupting.” Pietro apologised, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. “I just didn’t wanna wait any longer to ask you...”

What was with people wanting to ask you questions today? “It’s okay, I’m sure that Bucky didn’t mind. What do you wanna ask me?”

With you looking up at him through your lashes, giving him a sweet smile and slowly tucking some of your hair behind you ear, his cheeks reddened as his gaze lowered, before hesitantly bringing it back up to meet yours. You’d never seen the guy so nervous before.

“Would you... like to be my date to the Winter Formal?”

Well, you didn’t have to look so far to find your date, apparently.

Truthfully, you were sort of hoping that Bucky would’ve asked you. Sure, it wouldn’t have done any good in getting rid of the stupid feelings that you had for him, but he was still your best friend. The both of you went to the junior prom together, and it was one of the best nights you’d ever had with him. Maybe he didn’t ask you this time because his feelings for you had truly disappeared. While the thought saddened you, it was probably for the best. If anything, it would only encourage you to move on from him.

Besides, Pietro was also one of your closest friends. You were surprised that he asked you, considering the amount of girls that you knew would’ve loved to go with him, but maybe he just wanted to be a good friend, which you appreciated.

“That’d be great, Pietro.” You responded, causing the corner of his lips to upturn. “I’d love to be your date.”

The boys eyes lit up. “You would?”

“I would.” You confirmed, pushing yourself from the lockers. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“I-uh... I don’t know.” He shrugged, watching as you began to walk away. “I thought someone else might’ve already asked you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “You’re the one that has girls drooling while you run laps on the field; if anyone was already spoken for, I’d guess that it’d be you, Pietro.”

“Well, I guess now I am spoken for.” He began to walk in the opposite direction, sending you a final smile. “With the only girl I was planning on asking.”

Before you could roll your eyes at him again, Pietro had jogged off to go and speak to someone else, allowing you to finally go and meet the boys outside. There was a certain warmth in your chest after that conversation. It felt nice to be asked to the dance, to be someone’s first choice. Even if you originally wanted to be someone else’s date, you were happy that Pietro had taken the liberty of asking you.

Would Bucky really have asked you to go with him? You weren’t sure, especially if he really didn’t like you like that anymore. Even if he wanted to, maybe it didn’t really matter since you already had your date.

As soon as you made your way out to the parking lot, you spotted Sam’s jeep amid the array of coloured cars surrounding it, and you began to pace towards it.

Along with Bucky, you climbed into the backseat and pulled your seatbelt on while you received a ‘hey’ from each of the boys.

“I’m gonna have to start charging for rides at this point.” Sam joked, starting up the car. “Should I print ‘Sam Wilson Taxi Services’ on the side of my car?”

“Hm, I think ‘Wilson’s Rides’ has a better ring to it.” You replied, smirking at the boy’s glare through the rear-view mirror.

“What about ‘Sammy’s Cabs’?” Bucky chimed in, making Steve snort in the front seat.

“I like that one.” The blond nodded towards Sam.

He didn’t seem so impressed. “You’re all so hilarious. I swear, you’re all gonna start paying me five dollars every time I drive your asses somewhere.”

Bucky only chuckled before turning to face you. “Anyway, is everything alright with Pietro?”

While he obviously was curious to know what the boy needed to talk to you about privately, he wasn’t just asking to be nosy - if there was something more serious going on, he just wanted you to know that you could tell him about it.

Nervously, you tapped your fingers against the textbooks resting in your lap. “Yeah, everything’s fine. He actually... asked me to be his date to the Winter Formal.”

You weren’t sure what you thought Bucky’s reaction would be, but when he only plastered on what seemed to be a genuine grin and told you that he was happy for you, you admittedly were a little thrown off.

Sam and Steve shared a puzzled look as they heard their friend’s reaction, knowing that there must’ve been a little more to how Bucky felt that he was letting on.

Perhaps you were right, though. Bucky wasn’t going to ask you to be his date, and that’s why he was so happy that Pietro had asked you instead.

And while it was slightly painful to know that Bucky had no intention of asking you to the dance, at least you now knew what his true feelings about you were.

You were friends. Whatever feelings you had didn’t matter, because he only wanted to be your friend, and maybe that confirmation could encourage you to just move on.

* * *

“Bucky, you are such a dumbass.” Sam shook his head, sliding into the booth next to Steve.

After dropping you off at home, the drive to Carter’s was pretty silent. The two boys in the front seats were waiting impatiently for Bucky to say something, but no words left his mouth for the entire time. If they wanted to get an explanation from him, they were going to have to get it themselves.

Bucky sent a glare in Sam’s direction, picking up a laminated menu from the centre of the table and lifting it to block his face. “I haven’t done anything, Sam.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the problem.” He retorted, snatching the menu from the brunet’s grasp and placing it back on the table. “I thought you were askin’ (Y/N) to the dance.”

“I never said that.”

Steve sighed. “Buck, you told me this morning that you were gonna ask her today. What happened?”

“Pietro Maximoff. He happened.” The boy huffed, leaning back in his seat. “If I knew that he was gonna ask her then I would’ve done it earlier.”

Bucky was livid, really. Why? Why when he was literally just about to ask you to be his date, Pietro had to swoop in and steal that from him? After he’d asked you to have lunch with him that one time, Bucky had his suspicions that maybe the silver-haired boy was trying to shoot his shot. But Pietro wasn’t him. You would never feel the way about Pietro that you felt about Bucky, right? If you even felt for Bucky at all. Fuck, there he was again - thinking about the perfect world where you’d finally fall into his arms and tell him that you felt the same for him.

Once he’d left your house the other night, after you’d fallen asleep on his shoulder, he’d tucked a blanket over your curled up form and quietly slipped out of the front door, a stupid smile refusing to leave his lips. Hope. The smallest, tiniest amount of hope had filled his heart that you were finally opening your heart to him. Maybe you were finally doing just that.

And maybe Pietro had now completely ruined it.

“Are you sure that’s all you’re pissed off about?” Sam raised a brow. “You’re annoyed at Pietro for askin’ her to be his date?”

“What are you getting at, Sam?” Bucky murmured, wanting to forget everything that’d happened in the twenty minutes prior to this moment.

Sam leaned forward on his elbows. “Let me ask you something; would you even be pissed off if (Y/N) had have said ‘no’ to him?”

The boy opposite him stared at his friend dumbly. “What?”

“I think what Sam’s saying,” Steve took over. “Is that if (Y/N) didn’t say yes to being his date, then you would still have your shot at asking her to be yours-”

“You’re pissed off because she said yes to Maximoff.” Sam intervened, causing the blond next to him to roll his eyes, but nod in agreement anyway.

Bucky sat silently for a couple of moments, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought about what his friends were trying to tell him. They were right; you could’ve said no. If you didn’t like Pietro, if you didn’t want to be his date, you could declined him... but you didn’t. You didn’t wait for Bucky to ask instead.

You didn’t want him to ask you.

Maybe this was your way of hinting to Bucky that you and him were truly only friends. Whether there was something between you and Pietro or not, you’d put the thought in Bucky’s head that there was nothing between him and you. Nothing on your end, anyway.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Bucky spoke up, his jaw tensed involuntarily. “It’s just a stupid dance.”

“Buck...” Steve wasn’t an idiot. He could tell his friend was pretty upset. While he hadn’t directly told him that he was head over heels for you, the blond had a damn good hunch that was the case. The dance would’ve meant a lot to Bucky if he could’ve had you on his arm, walking into the hall together.

Steve was about to try and encourage the frowning boy to keep his hopes up, until another figure hopped into the booth next to Bucky, making all the boys’ heads turn to them.

“God, who died?” The redhead asked sarcastically, earning herself questioning looks from her friends. “You all look miserable, what’s going on?”

The boy next to her shuffled uncomfortably, so she looked to the other two boys in front of her for some sort of explanation.

“Bucky’s sad.” Sam said, causing a loud scoff from Bucky.

“M’not sad.” He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at Sam.

“He can’t find a date for the Winter Formal in a couple of weeks.” Steve affirmed to the girl.

Bucky was about to tell the blond how that just made him sound like a loser, until Natasha spoke up instead. “Aw, Buck. You don’t need a date to have fun.”

It wasn’t just a random date he wanted to take - it was you he wanted as his date.

“At least you’re getting a Winter dance,” She continued. “Shield High thinks that dances are a waste of time. Peggy’s lucky that you’re taking her to the dance at your school, Steve. Maria and I are going dress shopping with her at the weekend.”

At the mention of Maria’s name, Sam’s eyes flicked up to the redhead, a cunning smirk playing on his lips. “Well, the two of you should buy yourselves dresses as well.”

“What?” Natasha raises a curious brow.

Sam shot Bucky a knowing look, ignoring the daggers he was receiving back. “Bucky can take you as his date, and I can take Maria Hill. Works out for everybody.”

Yeah, everyone except for Bucky and his chances at ever getting you to believe you were the one that he wanted. What were you going to think if he showed up with his ex on his arm? Even if you did trust that Natasha was only his friend, it would still look like he asked Natasha to be his date rather than you, which is not at all what he wanted you to think.

It was Natasha’s turn to scoff this time. “You just want an excuse to try and chat up Maria. She’s a smart girl, Sam. Smart enough to not fall for your dumb ass.”

“You gotta admit, Natasha...” Sam shrugged. “Maria and I would make a hot as hell couple.”

The girl only rolled her eyes at him before turning to Bucky. “You don’t have to take me to the dance if you don’t want to, Bucky. I’d understand.”

Well, now he just felt bad. He couldn’t let Maria and Peggy go to the dance and just leave Natasha out in case you got the wrong idea. It could be fun, anyway. Nat and him could go as friends, she could stick around with Steve, Sam and the girls while he managed to steer you away from your date. So what if you weren’t his date? That didn’t mean he couldn’t be the one to make your night special.

“No, I want you to go.” Bucky nodded, a smile forming on his lips, Natasha mirroring his expression. “It’ll be fun, all of us goin’ together.”

“Awesome.” The girl beamed, plucking her buzzing phone from her pocket and chuckling at the name written across the screen. “Your girl’s calling me, Sam. I’ll let her know the good news.”

“You do that, Romanoff.”

As she got up from her seat and left momentarily to answer the phone, Steve immediately aimed a glare at the boy next to him. “Do you really think Buck showing up with his ex-girlfriend as his date to the dance is gonna win (Y/N) over?”

“S’alright, Stevie.” Bucky reassured him, suddenly not feeling so bad about everything that had happened. Sure, he was still frustrated that you couldn’t have simply been his date, but maybe things could still work out for him. “It doesn’t matter who either of us go to the dance with. If... if she likes me like I like her, then I think the night will go just fine.”

“Atta boy.” Sam smirked. “That’s the spirit. Maximoff ain’t gonna know what hit ‘em when you swoop in and steal his date.”

Maybe Sam was being a little dramatic, but his friend appreciated the encouragement. The thought that you had agreed to go to the dance Pietro because you might’ve had feelings for him was still circling Bucky’s mind, but he was trying to push it aside. Ever since the night where he walked you home with your hand in his, things had been different. Good different. He had a feeling that things could get even better than good, if he played his cards right.

He’d always kept them to himself, his feelings for you. When you told him at sixteen that you couldn’t get into a relationship, he completely understood. But holding his feelings back was hard, and if he didn’t try at least one more time to win you over, he’d regret it if you ever found someone else.

The night of the Winter Formal was going to be his night, and he was going to make sure of it.

* * *

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes x fem!reader

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Can you pretty please tell me anything and everything about all (or at least a couple, in case you have a lot haha) of your Marvel OCs please? I’m always a sucker for Marvel OCs lmao

so as of now I have 90 marvel ocs, oof!  They’re all hanging out here if you want to check them all out, and I’ll update my mobile masterlist once the thought doesn’t make me cry lmao!  Also I totally didn’t mean to ignore that ask about Kat, I started answering it and saved it as a draft and then it got buried but I will get back to it ASAP!!!!!!  For now though I’ll just yell a bit about a few of my most developed OCs!

Kat Aliano (Inferno): Kat is my first real fandom oc!  I made her back in 2011 and I would die for her.  Basically she’s a child genius who’s been living alone since her parents died in the Chitauri attack and she got caught while attempting to hack Tony’s private database for more information.  Fury is still trying to get the team to act like a team and he thinks that giving them a common goal (raising a child) will help, so he forces Tony to adopt her.  The avengers all grow attached fairly quickly, but none moreso than Tony, who sees her as a daughter (and she sees him as a dad).  She lives with Tony for the most part, and gets taken by Killian in Iron Man 3, which is when she gets her powers.  I have her story planned out all the way through endgame (in fact I’ve already written part of the Endgame battle for her already) but I don’t know how many spoilers you want so I’ll leave it at this for now!  If you want to read her fic, the first chapter is published!  

Nikki Rogers (Lady Liberty): Nikki was my second real fandom oc and is barely a week younger.  Way back in the day she was a daughter of Steve Rogers and Aphrodite and a pjo crossover.  Now she’s still Steve’s daughter but she doesn’t know who her mother is dun dun dunnnn. Nikki is my sunshine angel baby darling and is honestly just the sweetest person in the multiverse.  Nikki is the hero who doesn’t want anyone else to suffer the way she has so she goes out of her way to be as sweet and loving and good as she can be.  She learns some information about herself in Winter Soldier that sends her on a bit of a spiral but instead of having a villain arc it just pushes her to become her own hero, and thus she becomes Lady Liberty. She goes to Midtown High and her love interest is Peter, she’s a cheerleader and on the Academic Decathlon team, and has a complicated relationship with MJ for a long time.  She fights in Civil War but Tony helps her escape when the Rogues are arrested because her identity is still secret and even while fighting, the Avengers all want to protect her.  She was raised by Peggy Carter (not her mother, though a few people have asked me that in the past!) but when Peggy’s alzheimer’s got too bad she was moved to SHIELD custody and moved between Natasha, Clint, Maria, and Coulson depending on who was on a mission.  If you want to read her fic, the first chapter is published 

Adelaide Stark: Adi is Tony’s daughter!  She was born only a few days after Howard and Maria died, and then her mother died in labour, so Tony ended up with a lot of grief and a lot of responsibility.  He was absolutely determined to be a better father than Howard and always put Adi above everything.  Adi grew up as a total daddy’s girl and just as much of a genius as her dad (although she didn’t skip any grades, mostly because Tony didn’t want her under the same pressure that he was always under), and has been designing for Stark Industries since middle school.  She was in her senior year of high school when Tony disappeared, and was all set to go to MIT and continue designing weapons.  But when Tony gets back and she finds out that it was one of her designs that nearly killed him, she pulled back completely.  She was the biggest supporter of ending the weapons manufacturing, and now only ever designs for Iron Man (and eventually other Avengers) gear.  Instead of MIT she took over the SI philanthropy work and started up a new charity for mental health support, with focus on veterans and PTSD.  After a few years she branched off and started her own foundation, separate from SI, which had more or less the same purpose.  She first meets Sam Wilson when she’s in DC lobbying for better support for veterans, in between IM3 and CAWS.

Bianca Davis (Lady Justice): Bianca Davis is Rebecca Barnes’ granddaughter!  She grew up knowing the Commandos (and Tony, because Peggy was his godmother I’ll take that hc to the grave) hearing stories about Steve, Bucky, and World War Two, which is what led her to eventually major in history and to become the youngest museum curator in the world (this wasn’t intentional lmao but a fact that I learned later.  She isn’t really a curator, though it is her official job title, but she runs the Captain America/Howling Commandos exhibit at the Air And Space Museum, which she’s been doing since she finished university - the letters of recommendation from Peggy and the surviving Commandos definitely helped lmao.  She’s noticed Steve at the exhibit several times but has always respected his space, but one day he makes a dry comment about an obnoxious tourist that she had to deal with and they begin speaking – she calls him a fossil and he falls a little bit in love.  They’ve become close by the beginning of CAWS and when he first goes on the run, she’s who he and Nat go to when they need disguises for the mall, and she ends up on the run with them once they realize that Hydra knows she exists.  

Alessia Stark (Lady Shield): Alessia is Tony’s twin sister.  Howard experimented on her when she was a teenager, in hit attempt to recreate the super soldier, and it worked.  It left her with the same abilities as Steve and it drastically slowed down her aging.  She never had any interest in being a superhero, even though Fury has tried to recruit her several times, but when Tony becomes Iron Man she finally decides that she’s going to protect him no matter what, and thus becomes Lady Shield.  She makes it very clear in the Avengers that she isn’t there to be part of Fury’s boyband, she’s only there to keep Tony alive since she knows that SHIELD doesn’t actually care about him – she throws “iron man yes tony stark not recommended” in Natasha’s face several times.  She becomes a bit of a balancing act between Tony and Steve while trying to hold them together.  She also gets blasted by Loki’s scepter in Berlin which leads to some... changes (big spoilers so I won’t share if you don’t want to know yet!). Her ship is Steve but she fights with Tony in Civil War (“you both have solid points and if Ross wasn’t the biggest piece of shit on the face of the earth I’d suggest we all sit down and come up with our own amendments, but I won’t let anyone hurt my brother.”)

#iron parkr #ask #answered #katarina amelia aliano #about katarina #nikki rogers #about nikki #adelaide stark #about adelaide #bianca davis #about bianca #alessia stark #about alessia

[az-valentine]

Entry 1: Pennywise [AU]

July 2nd, 2018 

In light of recent events – the nature of which I refuse to explain to people who simply couldn't understand – I've been inspired to record a few passages for Humanity to eventually stumble upon. Despite what you may know about me, however little that may be, I assure you, there is far more to me than what meets the eye. You probably know me to be an unpredictable, animalistic Eldritch Abomination that comes crawling out of the darkest pits of your worst nightmares – you are correct. However, I'm far more complicated than that. Yes, I eat flesh and feed on Fear, as it's necessary for my survival. I didn't choose to be this way, it's just how I was created to be. 

Outside of that, I'm actually a fan of your classic literature, like Shakespeare, Twain, Poe, and Lovecraft. I also enjoy taking long walks to admire your older European architecture, and your bigger, more lush and diverse botanical gardens. I don't often leave Maine, let alone the Continental United States, but when I do, it's always a treat. My Eldritch Brethren usually don't care much – or at all – about what Humanity has accomplished in its pathetically short time, but I watched your earliest ancestors crawl out of the ancient muds of this planet, and I'm positive I'll watch you all return to the weeds in due time. 

My past is better left being known only by those closest to me, and left up for interpretation to everyone else. That being said, I feel strangely obligated to offer you a word of warning – don't end up like the protagonists of most Lovecraft stories. Don't go digging for information you have no business knowing. What you know, and what you think you know about Fear, hardly even scratches the surface of the unnamable terrors that lie beneath and beyond your fragile mental barriers. The depths of Madness are not meant to be explored by Mortal minds, for they were never designed to be capable of handling the journey. 

Some have tried, and nearly all have ended up a writhing, unintelligible, gibbering mess before their inevitable, horrific deaths. Some have wound up on that Path without even intending to, and fell victim to similar fates. If there's one thing we have in common, it's our tendency to be curious creatures. I definitely understand the desire to learn about the unknown. I cannot stop you from attempting to uncover lost knowledge and hidden truths, and I can't honestly say I care whether or not you listen to me. However, I still feel compelled to advise against it. Like me, though, you'll do what you please, regardless of the risks. 

Moving forward, those of you that know of me know me to be a Shifter, a being that is capable of taking the form of whatever I want. I'm like a Mimic, but far more interesting, and intelligent. I'm also like Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos, except I take no pleasure in gaining legions of followers and spreading Madness. I prefer to be left alone most of the time – to Hunt, eat, sleep, and explore as I choose. Earth isn't the only planet I've been to, but it's definitely one of my favorites. If I wake up during one of my sleep cycles, I'll sometimes take that opportunity to go somewhere new and different, or old and familiar. 

I've seen everything from the bustling cities of Tokyo and Arcturus Prime, to the noxious swamps of Beldron 4, the scorching, temple and monolith-spotted deserts of Alkh'tktuuhl, the ravenous raggle-trees of Nillub, and even the turbulent oceans, black forests, and numerous mountain ranges of an unknown terrestrial behemoth, floating aimlessly through the inky depths of Oblivion. One thing most don't know about me, is that Alkh'tkhtuuhl holds a very special place in my Heart. Those that know the reason why, though, I can count on one hand. 

Unbeknownst to Humanity, Arcturus Prime is still thriving to this day – and if rumors hold true, the Arcturians eventually want to introduce themselves. Don't worry, they're incredibly friendly. In my experiences with them, they're often a little shy, so don't do anything stupid when they get here. You'll need their help if you want your species to survive, thrive, and save the only planet you currently have to live on. They'll slowly work you into the galactic community, and help you learn how to integrate with other people from other planets, as well as how to survive off of your home world. 

Everyone that lives long enough will go through a Great Change at certain points in their lives – this trait is not unique to Humans, or any other Mortal species within the Multiverse, but is present among all sentient Life that has evolved far enough to be capable of experiencing these changes. Even I, the Prince of Fear, have gone through it several times throughout my existence. Indeed, many see me as just a highly intelligent, impossibly powerful beast that's merely good at acting, but I too am a person. 

I am not at liberty to speak of my true origins, or what came before, but I do have quite a few stories I'm allowed to tell. For the sake of brevity – I could write an entire series about my life – I will stick to telling only a few tales that I hold near and dear to my Heart. It's not every day a Mortal gets to learn such personal things about an Eldritch Being, let alone directly from them, so consider this a little gift to Humanity. I still take what I need to sustain myself, but who would I be if I didn't give back every now and then? 

Don't think of me as just a monster – I may be greater than anything a Human could ever hope to become, and I may have needs that cause a conflict of Morality between us, but it doesn't mean we don't share similarities. I don't know why I feel the need to say it, but just like you, I have my weaknesses. I have sore spots, bad memories, times of self-destruction, and an unhealthy relationship with self-hatred. Oh, yes...I can be as vulnerable as the Mortals whose lives I claim. It's not all bad, though. As I stated earlier, some of my guilty pleasures include literature, architecture, and traveling. I also enjoy attending plays, Broadway shows, and operas. At heart, I am an artist, and someone who appreciates the natural beauty to be found spread out across the Universe. 

In fact, for as long as I can remember, I've always taken part in the various cultures' Arts in some way or another. My numerous homes have always had a collection of writings, paintings, and props found in certain visual productions that had struck my fancy. I would occasionally write my own works, such as poetry and prose, plays, and even some music, and then offer it to Yog-Sothoth for his Archives. On top of that, I would often disguise myself as a native of a planet, and audition to play a role in something – not once was I turned down. Who was the best Carmen? Me. The greatest Figaro? Me! 

By now, you must be perfectly aware of the sizeable amount of differences between me, and the Being you've always known me to be. There is an explanation for this, yes, but I struggle to believe that you could fully comprehend what I'm about to describe. If I only lay out the basics for you, there's a good chance you'll be able to follow along. I've made mention of the Multiverse, yes? It's bigger, stranger, more complex, and more terrifying than you may have previously believed it to be. Infinities on top of Infinities, spanning in Infinite directions, through every Dimension, and every conceivable and inconceivable possibility happening all at once, at all possible times. It's a lot to take in, and I urge you not to try and understand it completely. It'll just drive you Insane, like many others before you. 

Back to the point at hand, though...I am not the same Pennywise you've known, as I'm from a different Universe. Who I am, as well as my Past, Present, and Future, have been and always will be completely different from the version of me you're familiar with. I've mastered the Art of Transcending Time and Space, and am able to move freely between Universes. The conditions of my state of existence, though, must remain a closely guarded secret for the time being. Let's just say that I've made promises I can't afford to break, to someone that makes me look tiny, powerless, and insignificant by comparison. 

Perhaps "completely different" was a poor choice of words. If I'm not careful, I'll become the Thing born of your worst nightmares. What's worse? I could get stuck like that, and require another Purification to set me straight. Yes, a Purification...something that all of the Dark and Twisted Souls must be willing to subject themselves to if they wish to enter the Light. Ugh! I shudder to think about going through such a painful experience for a second time. The agony is only temporary, and it melts away into a warm tingle, but it's still horribly unpleasant at first. I won't try to sway you one way or the other, but it was worth it for me. I was fine doing my own thing, and being by myself, but the opportunity was too great to pass up. 

I'd rather not get into the details of the situation, but I regained something I'd lost billions of years ago, only because I chose to go through the process of Great Change. I haven't been happy in billions of years, but I am now, and I'm never giving this up. To be perfectly honest, I only went through this change last October, and so I'm still adjusting to this new Way of Life I've chosen. I may or may not have snacked on a child recently...don't look at me like that, I was starving! And without a long sleep to fall back on anymore, I must feed at least once a week now, depending on the size of the person. 

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. I've been targeting only the worst of the worst, so as long as you're not a piece of shit person, one worthy of being scared to the point of shitting yourself and then getting eaten alive, you have nothing to Fear from me. Except maybe the occasional scare for my amusement, and to satisfy my need for Fear. 

 July 3rd, 2018 

This entry has already gotten long, and I'm afraid I've run out of Time to tell you a story. Forgive me, I didn't think my introduction would wind up being so long. I'm afraid I have some bad news...I'm set to depart on a series of Hunts for the next three to seven months, and I'm unsure of when I'll be able to continue. This was sprung upon me at the last minute, and I'm in no position to decline this mission. 

Know this, Humanity: I will return, and in no less than excellent health. Chances are, I won't be hungry when I finally make it back. However, don't think for a moment that I won't continue to Hunt the scum of your societies, one by one...both to fulfill my needs for survival, and to make good on my Sacred Oath. 

 Until next Time, 

                  Pennywise 

#fanfic #fanfiction #pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise 2017 #alternate universe #au #narrative #eldritch #eldritch thing #literature #crossover #series #part 1 of ? #more to come #cthulhu mythos

[junkobears]

Here Lies Dreaded V3 Discourse

So I have seemed to cause a huge kerfuffle in the hardcore Ouma conspiracy theorists standom, and a banal (if condescending, but seeing the response to it honestly justifies it more than anything now. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”, you better believe I can take it and will now PROPERLY dish it out right back at you) comment about one of Tsumugi’s anime references has led to someone launching a hilariously personal attack at me for Daring To Disagree With A Theory That Was Posted On A Public Website. Someone who I wasn’t even initially responding too, at that. And has now blocked me before even allowing me to respond and clarify my original comments. Don’t want to deal with the consequences of being a repugnant, rude person I guess? Shock and surprise for Tumblr.

The link to the post is here, but I’ve taken the liberty to screenshot it just in case it gets deleted later, in hope that maybe there’ll be some reflection on this person’s part that this really is not an acceptable way to respond to people who have a dissenting opinion? Anyways, I will be responding to the personal attack post and that will be the last time I interact with this group, because clearly it’s not worth it to actually have a discussion about our respective ending theories. I ain’t got time beyond this for tedious insecure fucks these days.

Anyways, my response is under the cut to save my poor followers’ dashes. Sorry to drag drama onto my blog but I can’t really let this slide. I’m also tagging @jacks-plays-drv3 just because I assume the twin comes with the other with these two, and I want my response to have been seen.

Screenshot In This Link - This post is long enough without the image taking up more space, haha.

Let’s start with this mess, shall we? And I will go into painstaking detail.

Paragraph 1: So this already starts off with a whole lot of needless aggression and projection. So I’m not even going to attempt to be nice back. But: maybe I haven’t proven anything because I literally had not typed up a response to clarify my original comments @ Jacks yet before the rabid attack dog was unleashed? Like, there was literally no attempt from you to have a discussion that was a genuine offer from me, I was not out to get you actually. I also honestly just laughed at being called shallow, JUST LIKE THAT HORRIBLE CHARACTER TSUMUGI SHIROGANE right off the bat as well. That’s a compliment really, honey. Weirdly I don’t share the same opinions as you do. Tsumugi is my fave and unlike you I actually think about and HAVE analyzed/discussed her character in detail previously, which I would’ve been happy to share had you not immediately went into Blind Raging Idiot Mode. Guess we can’t have it all, huh?

As for needing proof that she makes the Flashback Lights... nevermind the CG that literally shows her making them during Chapter 6, but do you have proof that Monokuma is the person who makes the Lights instead of just placing them for the students? I doubt it, somehow. Cuz a lot of your theories don’t actually have any concrete proof. Quelle surprise. Probably why anyone not immediately on board with your headcanon gets you so goddamn angry, huh? Cuz it’s completely baseless and you know it at heart.

As for the Ouma comments, actually I have read the assorted creator comments regarding his character even if you like to believe I’m a slobbering moron who turned my brain off as soon as I finished V3, so yes I already know that his name was chosen to sound mastermind-like. Maybe this was to emphasize and make his fake mastermind reveal appear more legit on first read? JUST A THOUGHT, SWEETIE. You know the entire fucking point of Chapter 5? You’re so slavishly devoted to your theory that you actually are incapable of reading the basic fucking text from the actual game, but again. Not a surprise. Considering what I’ve read from your blog (really, who are you again? I only knew Jacks’ blog from before all this, so you taking such a personal offense at my comments is honestly hilarious but baffling at the same time. It ain’t all about you, babe.)

As for the lab door, here’s an simpler explanation (Occam’s Razor, look it up): The star sign constellation pattern was there as a hint for the player to connect Ouma’s messages from his dorm room to the vault in Amami’s lab once its opened and you can see the star signs in there. Or perhaps it was designed like that by TDR to make the students make that connection as well in the original script and think that Ouma was the mastermind cuz of the connection to Amami’s lab? Literally, there are a lot of possibilities, cuz it’s a NOTHING DETAIL THAT DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER IN THE BIG PICTURE. Considering Kodaka’s track record with writing these games I don’t actually believe it’s anything major, personally. He doesn’t really strike me as the type to hide this completely separate story underneath the actual story we got, and with such vague nothing “”””””””””””clues””””””””””””. You and Jacks do yourselves (well you already do cuz you love to jack yourselves off with how CLEVER AND BETTER you are than the rest of us plebs), sure, in believing otherwise (You have way too much faith in him as a writer. Or you’re desperately trying to pretend V3 wasn’t poorly written cuz you don’t like the Ch. 6 twist) but also realize that its nothing more than extrapolation on your part that it actually means anything beyond the.... SHALLOW (horror scream) connection given in-game.

And really, who the fuck cares if it doesn’t match the title of ‘Supreme Leader’? It’s already a ridiculous talent as it stands already. The entire point of his character is that everything about him, his motives and his talent is contradictory and weird. That’s why I like him, actually. He isn’t an abused martyr who never lies like you goons believe and he also isn’t the evil monstrous chessmaster some of the fandom thinks. It’s Complex Motives™ .

Anyways moving on. Pointing out an anime reference =/= DISREGARDING PEOPLE’S ANALYSIS. Pointing out that most of the plot leads up to and supports the fiction twist =/= uncritically agreeing with everything Tsumugi says. Actually, after examining the game’s story for myself I came to the conclusion that all the clues in it really only support her version of the story, really. There are a few things I think she lied about, but it is not CONCLUSIVELY proven she lied in my opinion and so I don’t really give a fucking toss until new canon comes out and reveals more of the V3 story. Oumatwin don’t real, gurl. If there was actually anything in-game beyond one obvious joke line in the NON-CANON!!!!!!! bonus mode supporting that he existed, maybe I’d respect your theory more. Even though you don’t deserve respect after your little tantrum. 

Paragraph 2: Jesus I already am investing way too much time into this response at people who don’t actually deserve it, oh well. But laughing hard at the attempt to try and act as if you weren’t being a snobby asshole with your comments. Again, HUGE AMOUNTS OF PROJECTION at me about things I literally have never done and said. I have never interacted with you or Jacks prior to my initial comment. No fucking clue why you brought up the SaiOuma shit, cuz I don’t even LIKE Saihara as a character and don’t like that fujobait ship in the slightest? But I guess it’s easier to assume that all your critics are the exact same fucking person with the same opinions, so you can feel more persecuted, huh? You literally did not even wait for me to respond or check my blog that would’ve easily disproven these dumb-as-fuck assumptions. And get off the fucking high horse (pun completely intended), you lot are not the only people in this fandom who are capable of critical thought. How completely self-obsessed can you be? 

For someone who claims to have a lot of critical thinking skills compared to this nasty fandom, you really are terrible at parsing other people’s words. You fucking know when I said “group of anime fans” that I was referring to Team Danganronpa, the organization literally mentioned in game as running the game. The group Tsumugi is part of. She literally has a company badge FFS. THEY ARE ANIME FANS. THEY ALL STARTED KILLING GAMES CUZ THEY ALL LOVE THIS SHITTY SERIES. I can’t believe this had to be explained. And the rest of this paragraph word salad is the most pedantic argument. It’s really not hard to believe an organization in this series would have access to all this tech. And yes, it’s a popular TV show in-universe, of course it’ll have funding. And the whole damn point of the ending is that the V3 world is consuming fiction the wrong way by having real-life killing games, missing the entire point of the DR series and fiction in general? What’s your actual point?

Paragraph 3: Again more assumptions, I wasn’t ‘crying’ about being called gullible. I was just pointing it out as part of your extremely unnecessary smug dismissal of my post. That you really haven’t disproved at all, btw. Honestly the childish response you both had to me just makes me laugh out of pity more than anything. And if I was really upset I wouldn’t have offered to have a discussion with you or even continued to reply after Jacks initial (vague) post about what I said. So don’t put words in my mouth. And yes my analysis was not completed in my initial comments. It’s Tumblr fucking replies, I can’t fit the entire fucking dissertation of Tsumugi opinions in there for you to jeer at in there. Again, I offered to share my opinions and got this as a response, so lol. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to trying to get people to take you and your theories seriously. 

Paragraph 4: Especially since you immediately jump to PULLING THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS (seriously, fucking snorted at this part. I want this whole diatribe on my fucking gravestone. It’s by far the most hilariously petty thing ever said about me on this site.) instead of letting me explain my position. If you just want to be in the creepy cult Oumatwin echo chamber you should’ve just said and blocked me ASAP instead of word salading vague bullshit justifications for why actually people who disagree with you are just stupid crybabies who can never hope to understand your genius. Again, my initial comments didn’t whine about not being taken seriously at all, I was pointing out the hypocrisy/rudeness is all. And again, get off the high horse about critical thinking. I have thought about Tsumugi’s character and how she relates to the over-arching plot and how truthful it is, and the overall ‘mystery’ of V3 (spoiler: there is none. it was all solved by chapter 6). I have thought about this game. In fact I dedicate too much time to critical analysis of this series that doesn’t actually deserve it cuz lately I find Kodaka to be a hack writer. Your assumptions are flat-out wrong, dear. And AGAIN. I WOULD’VE. SHARED AND DISCUSSED IN MORE DETAIL HAD I BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. But rude fucks gonna vomit shit out of their mouth cuz they have literally no self-control and have meltdowns at the slightest difference of opinion, I guess. 

Your extreme hatred for Tsumugi as a character truly shines through. Clearly no thought has been put into her from your end, even though you and Jacks rage about people not taking Ouma seriously as a character. Double standards as always with fujos. Nothing I’m not used too, she is incredibly unpopular in this fandom. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So I’m not even mad at that. I have never said otherwise. Even you and Jacks are valid in having your own theories and thoughts. The ending of V3 is designed entirely so everyone can analyze the game for themselves and draw their own conclusions about the story and themes. That’s the whole point. Even though I personally dislike that as a writing decision on Kodaka’s part because I would prefer the story to be conclusively ended and the epilogue is a giant turd that misses the entire point of Chapter 6 and enables shit (anal pun intended, dumbass) like this to start spreading as “Analysis”. But hey, to each their own.

However I will not be interacting with either of you again after this post though, even though I was willing to discuss beforehand, because you both have shown yourselves to be incredibly vile with the way you approach other people in this fandom, and especially those who don’t share your conspiracy theory. Despite the absolutely ironic comments I’ve seen from Oumanous in their later, also terrible posts about how you need to understand your opponent before engaging, which they literally failed entirely to do before engaging the firing squad at me and other commentators who responded. So much for the sanctity of discussion, huh? Enjoy your circlejerk. Everyone else who follows me in this fandom though? Please consider blocking these two if you are also a sane human being who is capable of polite discussion/disagreements. They are not worth your time otherwise. They were really not worth my time writing this post, but I felt I had to say something.

In conclusion: Out with the both of you.

#fandom drama #V3 spoilers #long post #i cant believe i have ended up in dr fandom discourse #i have sunk so low lmfao #allowed to reblog this post also I dont mind #unless you are the two chucklefucks this post is about #out. with you. #but I will not be afraid to stand up for myself when I get shit like this #anyways its done bridge burned

[ongfreestyle]

High School AU (Yoo Kihyun)

*This idea was floating around in my head *And man it sounds juicy but idk lol *(SPOILER ALERT this ain't turn out how I wanted :( I'll try again) *So it's freshman year of high school and you joined the yearbook committee *Your literally one of the only freshman who joined *Except Yoo Kihyun (ayyyyeee #PlotConvenience) and some other kid named Minhyuk who was annoying to you at first *So freshman year starts off easy *But holy shit you've gotta go to school events to get pictures AND you have to design the yearbook pages AND THE COVER AND THE THEME AND YOUR COUNTING VOTES FOR SR. FAVES *It's a lot tbh *But luckily you've got a whole team of people who are there to help you out *Except on Friday Night Football *Not one person volunteered to go on the sidelines and take pics *Everyone's "too busy" or being in the sidelines is "too dangerous" *But the truth is everyone just wants to be in the bleachers hanging with friends instead of doing stuff for the yearbook *So guess who gets roped into doing it? *The freshmen of course! *So you Kihyun and Minhyuk are now on the sidelines, with your sideline passes and your all shook *Because why the fuck are all these football players so big? And why are the cheerleaders and pom girls all here on the sidelines? A news crew is here too? *It's hectic *You and Kihyun are just gripping you cameras for dear life unsure of what to do *And Minhyuk is like "k I'm gonna go snap some pics of the mascot" *He's so bold and confident it seems *And you and Kihyun are a bit more shy *But then the game starts and there is zero time to be shy because you guys are running all around trying to get a shot of every group you can *After like and hour and a half you're beat *So you're looking at your pics while you take a break off to the side and you realize they're mostly blurry and out of focus *You're literally like FML all this for nothing and you really wanna go home because there is so much going on and your stressed :( *So your about to call your mom and you look over and see Kihyun crouching down by the endzone clearly trying to get some aesthetic shot of the sky or something *And he's so focused he doesn't realize that the game is still going *And that number 85 is CHARGING TOWARDS HIM *SO on a whim you drop your camera and run over there *Just like you in some kinda KDrama you shove him over and fall on top of him *And literally the whole school can see *Plus Minhyuk is definitely taking a picture of this *And you get up as fast as you can because this can't be a flattering angle and you're sweaty and probably smell like a locker room at this point *85 scored btw *Kihyun is like "um what the hell? You almost crushed my camera?" *Then your like "85 was running and he would have hit you and he was running so fast he couldn't stop... probably" *Kihyun is like "oh thx ig" *He kinda doesn't buy it but he sees 85 is had ran way past the endzone so it's plausible *Anyway that's your first encounter with Yoo Kihyun *And it sucked *But you try not to think of it and hope no one actually cared that you were on top of him during the game *So you go home *And THEN MONDAY YOU RETURN AND EVERYONE IS SHIPPING Y'ALL *It's the weirdest thing too because you literally only know his name and he probably doesn't know yours so HOW ARE PEOPLE EVEN COMING UP WITH THIS IDEA *Then you remember that you two were actually on top of one another at the game last Friday *And your friends are like so...👀👀👀 *And you're like "SO ?? I WAS HELPING A FELLOW YEARBOOK TEAM MEMBER!" *And they're like "help him with what?" 👀👀👀 *And it gets worse when they show you the pics some people got *Because from a higher angle it looks intentional and more sensual I guess *Really it's a mess and when you go to yearbook class Minhyuk has taken the liberty of printing the HD pictures he got and putting them on your desks *He's smiling *And your shook and embarrassed *One of the upperclassmen literally asked you if he was hard and how big he felt because she like younger men ! *You're just !!!!!!! *You toss the picture in the trash and try to trash the one on Kihyun's desk, but he comes in and you are too shy to make eye contact when he asks you why you're at his desk *So you just go sit down *Then he's furious when he sees the pic *His rage is only stopped by the teacher calling role and assigning a yearbook page for everyone *You get the cheerleader page and Kihyun gets the football page *And then you guys all head to the computer room by your class to start making pages *And as soon as you guys exit the classroom you hear a large SMACK sound *And Minhyuk is like OOOUUCH *"MINHYUK WHAT THE FUCK?!" *"THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT AND I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY WHAT THE FUCK?!" *Minhyuk is just laughing and saying sorry, but he's clearly not sorry *And you're just ... *Then you get into the computer lab and somehow you end up sitting next to him *And he's working in his football page *You're doing cheer *But you don't have many pictures and most are blurry *And Kihyun has amazing pics but his page layout is trash *So you decide maybe you can make a deal *You can help him with layouts if he helps you with pictures *And after class you suggest it *And he's surprisingly all for it *He gives you his number so you guys can discuss in further detail *Weeks pass and your deal actually never makes a start *You just have Kihyun's number chilling in your phone *Every freshman girls dream tbh *Finally towards the end of the year he is like "hey you still down to help me out with my pages? I wanna make them good before we submit them" *And you were like "sure if you show me how to properly work a camera and get cool shots like you" *He's happy with your compliment it's written all over his face *And your happy that he's taking to you because all year you've been so awkward and your only friend has been a Senior and Minhyuk and they're great *But like *You also wanna befriend Kihyun *So you guys pick a weekend *Meet up at a Starbucks *And you start teaching Kihyun all the technical stuff about making a good layout *You're both looking at your laptop *You're sitting pretty close together *Kihyun has a nice scent he smells like a fresh shower *IDK he looks like he smells pretty fresh *Anyway he's got those Harry Potter style glasses on *{Swoons} *Plus black hair that looks kinda wet *Is it moose? Is it post-shower hair? *Is it kinda hot? *Yes *So after going over tips for like an hour Kihyun stops you and buys you a coffee *And you're like feel all shy inside because that was super nice *So he's like "K let's go outside. I'll show you how to shoot" *You're packing up your things and he's helping you and your fingers touch and y'all pull away so damn quick *It's like you got burned or something *Awkward *Then Kihyun is leading you across the street and showing how he would capture the Starbucks you were just in *And as he's talking your just like 💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟 *He's really cute and passionate about photography *And he's cute *Dude Kihyun is really cute k *So anyways he hands you the camera and says "try it" *You're obviously fucked because you haven't been listening to anything he said *Plus he camera is some fancy Nikon and you haven't the slightest clue how to work it *"Is it on?" *"Yeah" *He chuckled at you *Bitch it was the best chuckle you've heard in your life *So you snap a pic if Starbucks *It's basic as shit and kinda off center *The focus is a bit strange too *But Kihyun isn't an ass so he tells you "it's a start" *And your DYING inside like WHO CAN'T SNAP ONE PIC *But Kihyun keeps teaching you and while you're finally focusing correctly it's not professional looking like his *Still it's much better than before *After all that Kihyun offers to walk you home *You're like sure *You're sweating *But he takes you home and y'all don't even speak *When you get home you friends are like what's the tea ???👀👀👀 *Ain't no tea *But Kihyun is definitely cute and you have a slight crush *The schools ship might sail *LMAO BUT NOT YET BIH I'M NOT THAT LAZY *FAST FORWARD TO JUNIOR YEAR *Y'ALL ARE BESTIES *Still on that Yearbook grind *But Kihyun does all the pics for you and you do all his pages for him *It's fair enough tbh *On the weekends y'all get together to work on more yearbook stuff and Minhyuk 3rd wheels since he quit to join the broadcast team *He just likes to hang with y'all tbh *And ship y'all *Then say it was his iconic picture that started it all *When honestly you two got close Sophomore year by doing each other's work and collaborating on the weekends when you could *Junior year though you guys just stayed together because you like to be around one another *It was about yearbook all the time anymore *It was about friendship *Of course you're crushing on Kihyun really bad now though *His hair is dark brown now *He got a bit taller *He works out now *He has contacts *He keeps his hair slicked back and dresses and smells sO NICE *HE'S NOT CUTE ANYMORE *HE'S HOTTTTTTTT *You gotta play it cool *But every weekend it's getting harder *He's so relaxed around you *He looks super cool just leaning back in a chair at your dining room table *And when he talks his voice is kinda low *You swear he's doing it on purpose *But no he's just being all casual and shit *It's too much *One day he's looking through pics on his camera and he just stops *Looks at you *And smiles *Your heart 💕💔 *And then he says *"Thanks for buying me a new SD card yesterday. These pictures came out great" *💔💔💔💔💔 *Not that you were waiting for him to say something sweet to you 😑 *And this keeps happening *He'll give you the most endearing look and say something stupid *Like: *You have ranch in your hair *I got you a napkin *Nice shirt *Are those new pants *You think dogs have emotions like us? *And eventually you stop even thinking about him confessing and move on *And every boyfriend you get is chased away by Kihyun *They all say your just too close with Kihyun and they can't take it *So you give up on dating *And move on to SR. Year *Prom season sneaks up on you and your single af *All your friends are shopping while you just watch and nod at them like "yes, you need a bigger size, don't squeeze" *And after a while they're like "hey why aren't you trying on anything?" *You're like "I got no date" *You're friends actually laugh *"WYM no date? UuuUmMm Yoo Kihyun" *"We're just friends" *"Sounds fake but okay" *"Kihyun isn't into me" *{Spoiler he is} *You ain't hearing it *You decide to be headass and find a new date *Some jock named Rick *Rick isn't a complete ass, but he's too cocky *Really your favorite part about starting to date him was to hear Kihyun roast him *Fast forward to Prom day *You're at Kihyn's place laying on his bed listening to some OSTs *And he's doing that thing again *Ya know when he looks at you like he loves you with all his life then says something irrelevant *Yeah *But this time he walks out of the room and comes back with a binder full of pictures *And he tosses it on the bed and he's like "look" *So up open it up and see all of his amazing shots *He's so talented *You also see a ton of candid shots of you *"Why so many...me's?" *"Cuz you're beautiful. Duh." *He TRIED to play it cool, but BOI HE ACTUALLY ALMOST SAID HE LOVED YOU AND WANTED RICK TO GET LOST *"Thanks" *Suddenly you get to a page of just you and him and you're blushing *Also your getting hella soft because freshman year pics are there *Anyways, Kihyun just lets you look and then says *"If Rick is a dick let me know. You can't be with a guy who doesn't appreciate you like me" *"You appreciate me?" *"Duh" *Then he gives that lovely look again and he grabs your face gently *"Kihyun?" *"I wish it was me, but I'm..." *You're waiting for him to say something anything, but he doesn't so you literally just call his name and he jumps *Guess what he says? *"Sorry I was lost in your eyes" kdkskkdkfjdksks *Yup *And you wanna snap him in half *Honestly you thought this was it *But no *You swat his hand away from you face and storm off *You actually wanna cry because this was his last chance to confess and take you to prom, but NOOO *You leave his house and he follows you outside all confused *B you just snap *"Leave me alone! You play around too much! You know exactly what you do to me!" *Kihyun actually almost passed out when he heard you *He races after you and he's like *"What do you mean by 'what I do to you?'" *"Nothing" *"No you mean something!" *Your just gonna go to your car and he grabs your wrist (slow motion replay KDrama style) *The he's like *"Don't go with Rick" *You're like *Well fuck *You can't stand up Rick *He's a decent dude *So you reluctantly say that you will be going to prom with Rick and go get dressed *Homie, prom is lit ASF *You and your girls are actually having so much fun that you low-key forget about your dates *Until slow dance time *And Rick is gone *Probably shitfaced in the bathroom *All your friends go back to their dates and your reminded that you totally lost your chance to be with Kihyun *And you're pouting about it *Yeah *You're sitting by the punch bowl all sulky looking gorgeous *Hoping for someone to come save you *But nothing *8 more slow songs pop off and you're like JFC I wanna leave *But lucky from you prom is actually ending and people are heading out, it's getting late *Rick turned up he was escorted out for being drunk on school premises *So you're dateless again *You're making your way out and then you see this sexy guy running into the place *Black suit *Dark hair slicked back *He smashes into you *It's Kihyun *And he's got you by the waist suddenly and he's looking at you in the eyes smiling *Holy !! *He smells fresh *And he's looking at you like you invented the whole universe *And you're in awe because he looks like a God or something *And he just says, "You wanna dance?" *And even though everyone is exiting you pull him to the dance floor *And you slow dance *Y'all are FACE TO FUKKEN FACE *CAN U IMAGINE *And you are SUPER CLOSE *He has your waist *You have your arms around his shoulders *Your swaying with no music *But Kihyun is a doll so he just sings to you *IM (FUCKING) AGINE *HE'S SINGING THAT DAMN GOBLIN OST AND YOUR SWOONING *Like your knees are weak *And he's probably helping you stand up because wow *It's literally just you two until he's done singing and the staff is like GTFO *So he walks you to your car *Your holding hands *AnD HE GIVES THAT DAMN LOOK BUT THIS TIME HES SAYS HE THINKS HE LOVES YOU AND HE KISSES YOU *ON THE LIPS *Then LEAVES YOU TO SORT OUT YOUR FEELS *You mull it over for a week and of course you want to date Kihyun *So you dump Rick ASAP *Head to Kihyun's house *Nag him about his dirty room *And how he almost ruined your prom by not going with you in the first place *And then you notice he's looking at your lips and your all sensitive *But doesn't care and just says *"I don't think I love you" *You KnOw what's COMING NEXT BIH *"I KNOW I love you" *Oh and he leans in to kiss you and you close the space *And then all of a sudden your Frenching on his messy bed *Your on top and it reminds you of the first time you interacted *So you stop kissing to inform him that everything has come full circle *And he laughs and asks if he should call Minhyuk to take a pic because next time he plans to top 😜😜 *You smack him because wth you guys aren't even OFFICIAL yet *And how can you get used to you hot BFF being you BF ?? *Mysteries I tell ya *Anywho *You guys are now OFFICIALLY the schools fav couple *You win Sr. Faves and everything *And that picture of you two us LEGENDARY *And you guys go around being obnoxiously adorable *And you take pictures so often *Y'all's Instagrams are POPPING *IT GOALS HOMIE *GOALS *And if Kihyun isn't the best boyfriend ever *He's super sweet yet sassy *(My phone tried to correct that as daddy) *If he sees that you're overwhelmed he'll literally force to go relax with him or force you to let him help you out *You guys are ALWAYS FLIRTING AND TEASING EACH OTHER *You know what makes Kihyun really red and embarrassed? *PDA *He calls you embarrassing pet names as revenge *He is always cheering you on and he's still your best friend *And one day you two are chilling and you throw him that look that he always gives you *And he's like "what?" *"I dunno...I think I love you." All casually *And he just laughs and kisses you *"I think you love me too."

#kihyun #yoo kihyun #monsta x #kihyun scenarios #monsta x scenarios #k00kied0writes

[mikami03iscancelled]

Callout Post for renai-tsumi/ai-to-tsumi/mikami03/nekomi03

I’m sure everyone who RP’s in the Persona 4 community (ESPECIALLY people who RP Yosuke Hanamura) has seen this person around, and not for necessarily for good reasons, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

This is a callout post for Han, also known as @inabas-prince, ai-to-tsumi, @renai-tsumi, mikami03, and nekomi03. 

Update: Han has changed her URL to our-twisted-love.

Update: Han has since moved blogs, so her current URL is unknown. That said, this post will remain up, for those who wish to know what Han has done and why this blog exists. 

I don’t like to do callout posts. I really, honestly don’t, since most are designed with a witch hunt in mind. However, this situation with Han has been going on for MONTHS, and clearly, nothing has changed. She hasn’t learned from her mistakes, and even though we did our best to keep the situation as controlled and as private as possible, she has bullied, harassed, and stalked people, MONTHS after they have stated that they want nothing to do with her.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Before I begin, I would like to direct everyone to Mikami’s first callout, since it will provide context to the situation. Here is the tl;dr version:

Han is infamous in the Persona 4 fandom for harassing people, ESPECIALLY those who RP the character Yosuke Hanamura. She is also very infamous for trying to coerce them into ships, pressure them into NSFW roleplays, and will continue to try and contact them even when they have expressed NO interest in doing so. Unfortunately, one Yosuke in the fandom, under the URL kunaiflourish, has received the brunt of her harassment, as shown in the callout post before.

Han showed VERY obsessive behavior that became uncomfortable and flat-out creepy. She practically forced herself on kunaiflourish, and when they FINALLY blocked her, she wasn’t having it. I won’t provide screenshots here, since the callout speaks for itself. She began to send messages to kunaiflourish even MONTHS after they had blocked her, begging them to unblock her, and even wrote walls of text blaming kunaiflourish, saying that if they told her no and “communicated” with her, this never would have happened.

So right off the bat, we have: stalking, victim blaming, and harassment (both sexual and nonsexual) under her belt. She’s also not above trying to get other people involved, since, like in the callout, she tried to contact kunaiflourish’s friends and get answers from them. Talk about obsessive. 

Now, I know what you all are thinking. “This happened months ago, why are you bringing all of this up now, months after the situation has seemingly resolved itself?”

There’s a very simple answer to that: Because it hasn’t resolved itself. In fact, it’s worse than ever, because Han has managed to somehow show EVEN CREEPIER behavior than she did before.

This all started when she joined a Persona RP Discord that is run by heartofthemagician (Han has long since been banned from the Discord, in case anyone was wondering) as Nanako Dojima. A few people, including myself and other mods, were already well aware of her reputation, however, we came to a decision to let her stay. Call us naive, but we like to give everyone a fair chance, and didn’t want to ban her from the server right off the bat without reason. She hadn’t done anything to anyone in the server at the time, so we reluctantly let her stay.

Big mistake.

First of all, I am unsure if anyone is aware, but Han has been known to RP incest. Unfortunately, she has long since deleted said RPs (either that, or has made them difficult to find. If anyone can provide this evidence, the submission box is open), however, she DID admit to RPing this content when she was confronted by a server member about it. Instead of trying to deny it, she admitted that she tagged it and asked “Why can’t you blacklist the tag?”

While this in itself is not necessarily bad (I, personally, do not condone incest, but I understand that fiction =/= reality), it is pretty obvious from her reputation alone that she does not understand the boundary between fiction and reality. This was shown the entire time she was in the server: Every chance she got, she was creepily affectionate with our Yu Narukami.

Now, these interactions seem mostly innocent, but they happened VERY frequently. People were already uncomfortable by Han always derailed conversations in the server, talked over people in voice chat, and tried to make everything about her. She was incredibly self centered, and tried to turn every IC interaction towards Nanako.

On top of that, given her history with incest, it only further made the Yu uncomfortable. Han has been known to try and force ships, and seems to have a strange fascination with imouto-type characters. Take this information as you will.

Things went downhill when the Akechi finally confronted her about her behavior, and told her to tone it down a notch. She left for a few days, and when she came back, naturally, the Akechi (who also happens to be my boyfriend) decided to ask if she had reflected on her actions.

This is where the meat of everything begins. Unfortunately, because of Tumblr’s tendency to fuck up images, it would be tedious to upload every single screenshot at once, so I have taken the liberty of placing the conversation into a drop box link, which can be found here. For context, the conversation between “aruru” and “Godess Bestow” is the conversation. The first three caps in the folder take place after the conversation between them. Also, just to be safe, this link does contain mentions of suicide and self harm. 

Another tl;dr version:

Han admitted to stalking kunaiflourish and continuing to send them memes and messages on anonymous even 5 months after they had blocked her.

Han admitted that she still plans on getting in touch with kunaiflourish and MAKING them write with her.

Han claims that she is not stalking because “no personal information was involved”.

Han refuses to admit that she is in the wrong, and still blames kunaiflourish, stating that kunai NEVER gave an explanation for why they blocked her.

Han tried to force Aruru into talking to kunaiflourish and other RPers to get them to unblock her.

Han sent anonymous messages to Aruru asking why he blocked her, even though he gave his reasons for blocking her and told her to leave him alone.

Han threatened to commit suicide to me after she tried to get answers from ME after Aruru blocked her. As you can see, it didn’t go over well.

After all of this, you would think that Han would have taken the hint and left Aruru alone, even after he blocked her on Tumblr. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all, and in fact, Aruru had to turn off anonymous after he received this lovely message from Han:

And I’m not the only person who you sent this shit to, either.

Nice job lying about trying to kill yourself and guilt tripping someone who was fucking uninvolved with the situation.

I believe this is all that needs to be said about the situation, and all of these screenshots speak for themselves. 

Han, if you’re reading this (though I doubt you will. You won’t listen to anyone unless it’s to sugarcoat you and coddle you, right?):

kunaiflourish DID give you your answer for why they won’t write with you and has EXPLICITLY told you to leave them alone. Aruru has also told you to leave him alone, and yet you continue to message them.

Did you know that you can go to JAIL for this? This is enough evidence to have LEGAL CHARGES pressed against you for STALKING. Here is an entire site about it if you don’t believe me.

 You can have a CRIMINAL RECORD, all because you can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is that what you want on your hands? A record that could PERMANENTLY ruin your chances at good education and getting a decent job (though, since you’re supposedly 20 years old and still in high school, you did a fine job of doing that on your own), all over ROLE PLAY. All over playing make believe on a blogging website.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP doing this shit. You are not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting people and only further sullying your reputation. You are making people fear for their wellbeing and actively and KNOWINGLY making people hurt themselves for your own selfish gains. If you are truly as suicidal as you say... Although, I have my doubts, since you’re posting on your blog like everything is all right barely 24 hours after you just threatened suicide,

then please, for the love of god, get some professional help, because you desperately need it. You are going to destroy people’s lives if you keep doing what you do.

REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF.

#mikami03 #nekomi03 #ai to tsumi #renai tsumi #callout #persona 4

[funeral-clown]

@heckyeahharrisco for harriscofest

@aquaexplicit eeyyyyyyy

prompt: mob boss au

Harry adjusted his tie in the car mirror for the fourth time that evening. Hartley let out a deep sigh.

“You look fine, boss. Great, even.”

Harry waved his comments away with a frustrated face and began running his hands through his hair. Hartley sat up straighter, alarmed, and pulled his hands away.

“I did not spend thirty minutes in your bathroom with hair gel for you to mess it up now!”

“I look ridiculous!” Harry snapped, tugging his hands out of his grip.

“Shut up, he’s going to like it! Even if he doesn’t, I picked out the best dinner spot in the city. Order the chocolate mousse for desert, and you’re going to have a second date.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, mentally filing the information away.

Hartley rolled his eyes and went back to his phone. The car pulled up in front of the restaurant. 

“Try not to have too much fun, we have a meeting with the Russians tomorrow.”

“Right.”

“And remember the wine order we went over.”

“I’ve got it.”

“And don’t forget the boutonniere!”

“Is this my date or yours?”

Hartley smirked. 

“I’d like to think of it as our date. If everything goes well, he’ll be joining the family!”

“No, he won’t.” A tinge of warning hung on his tone.

“Harrison. You’re the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the city. He’s not an idiot, you met him at a Science Expo. He’s going to figure it out.”

“No,” Harry said firmly. “Cisco Ramon can never know he’s going on a date with a mob boss.”

~

Cisco Ramon had a date with a mob boss.

When Harrison Wells, one of the CCPD’s biggest Persons of Interest (at least according to Barry), approached him at the annual Science Expo, he thought he was going to be kidnapped at worst, given a job offer at best.

Hey, what can he say? His experimental weapon designs were well known in certain circles. A man’s gotta have a hobby, after all.

So when the man struck up a conversation instead, looming awkwardly over him in the crowded hall, muttering about the different tech, he was a bit taken aback. He recovered quickly. If the guy wanted to have a chat, well, Cisco could indulge him.

Harrison(You can call me Harry)’s face when he started talking back was...something distressingly close to relieved. Drunk Barry was not one to skimp on details, Cisco knew what this man had done, knew he was smart enough to not get caught, but somehow. Somehow, crowded in and discussing lasers, he just seemed...Adorable.

When he asked him out, Cisco only hesitated a little before giving him a yes. The look on his face threw any lingering doubts out the window. Harry clearly wasn’t trying to trap him. Probably didn’t even know Cisco knew who he was.

Cisco still slides one of his prototypes into his suit jacket. He’s not a complete moron.

Harry is waiting for him when he gets to the place (and holy shit, being a criminal mastermind must come with serious perks, because Carter and Kendra had been trying to get a reservation here for weeks) and offers him his arm and a boutonniere.

“It’s a gardenia,” he muttered, “You don’t have to take it if you don’t like it.”

Cisco smiled and pinned it to his chest, trying hard not to laugh at the slight blush on his face.

He beat a man to death with a crowbar, Cisco, he’s not a damn puppy.

They walk in and are seated. Cisco lets himself be a little impressed by the surroundings. The building is tastefully decorated without giving way to opulence, and the lighting is low and romantic.

“I have to say, Harry, you pick a heck of a place to show a guy a good time.”

He gives a small smile. “In the interest of honesty, I know nothing about dating locations and such. I had one of my business associates recommend it to me. It’s my first time here.”

“Well tell your associate that they have good taste. If the chocolate mousse here is as good as they say, you’re definitely getting a second date.”

“I’ll make note of that.” Harry chuckles, seeing some unknown humor.

They place their orders and he doesn’t even blink when Cisco orders the most expensive thing on the menu. Good sign.

“Don’t worry,” he says with a wink, “I put out on the first date.”

Harry chokes on his wine. The waiter chokes on air before rushing off with the menus. Cisco lets himself chuckle then.

“That’s, uh. Good t-to know.” His hands are shaky as he brings his napkin to his mouth. Clearing his throat, he leans forward. “Look, if I’ve made you feel pressured in any way- I mean, it’s not that I’m uninterested, obviously, of course not, you’re lovely, but honestly, I’m not expecting-”

Cisco places one of his hands over his own.

“Harry. You’re rambling. Relax.” His voice is amused. 

“Right,” Harry takes a deep breath, “Right.”

“Haven’t been on a date in a while, huh?”

Harry shook his head, smiling sardonically.

“It’s that obvious? No, my work prevents me from getting out like this much.”

Yeah, Cisco bets it does.

“I guess I should be flattered, then. Speaking of, what did you say your work was, again?”

~

Harry froze, staring blankly ahead with a deer in the headlights look.

“I, um. I work in acquisitions and distribution. For a large company in town. I’m the head of that department, actually.”

Cisco smiles. Smooth, Harrison. You only stumbled a little. His date rests his head on his hand, arm propped up on the table.

“Wow, that sounds fascinating. Tell me more.”

“Oh, it’s, uh. Its nothing, really. Boring, even. But I do well for myself. We had a merger this afternoon, which should bring us even more revenue.”

The Irish were tough negotiators, but apply enough pressure and they agreed well enough. Especially when the pressure was on their throat.

“Judging by the blood on your neck, I take it the merger went well.”

Harry swore, bringing his hand up to the side of his neck. A few flecks of dried blood scraped off. Cisco smiled serenely.

“I cut myself shaving.”

“I’m sure that’s the case. Although I could make a joke about cutthroat business practices.”

Harry huffs out a small laugh, mentally cursing out Rathaway for not noticing the blood in the car. Still, Cisco seemed to be buying it. People nicked themselves shaving all the time. Harry was in the clear.

Cisco opened his mouth, doubtless to ask more questions, only for the waiter arrive with their food. He blushed slightly as he set down Cisco’s plate. Harry frowned as he walked away.

He was distracted by Cisco eating. More specifically, the deeply satisfied noises he made while eating. His eyes shut as he made small groans of pleasure. Harry’s fist tightened around his silverware. There were going to be indents in his hands at this point. His fork started to bend slightly.

“Dude.”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you even gonna eat your food? It’s, like, the best goddamn thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Harry bets he would be.

“Yeah, sorry. Lost in thought.”

“Anything you’d like to share?”

Never.

“Not particularly.”

Cisco shrugged before going back to eating.

“Suit yourself, man.”

Harry’s sure his dinner was delicious, but he barely tasted a bite of it. Cisco excused himself to wash his face (lobster can be a mess to eat, butter sauce dripping everywhere, and as enthralling as it was to watch him chase the droplets with his tongue, Harry understood). With a deep and contented sigh, he lets himself relax into the chair.

The waiter came by to clear their plates.

“Can I get you anything else this evening, sir?”

“Two orders of the chocolate mousse.”

“Ah, looking for a second date, huh? Can’t say I blame you.” The waiter gave him a knowing smile. Harry tensed, smile rigid on his face. He seriously considers throttling the man before Cisco returns, beaming at him as he takes his seat.

“I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of ordering some dessert.”

“Not at all. I’ve got a sweet tooth that pretty much takes up my whole mouth.”

Harry will have to remember that.

“You know, I’ve been bothering you with questions all night-”

“It’s not a bother.”

Cisco smiles sweetly at him.

“And that’s very kind of you. But you haven’t asked me any questions yet. Do you want to?”

There were plenty of things Harry wanted to ask Cisco. How do you feel about dating career criminals, for example. Are you enjoying yourself as much as I am. Do you like kids because I have a daughter studying abroad and I think you would adore each other.

What comes out of his mouth is very different.

“So, do you bring a gun to all your dates, or am I just special?”

Cisco startled, eyes widening before something resembling a smirk slides it’s way onto his face. It’s more attractive than it has any right to be.

“Well a boy should always carry protection if he plans on having fun, Harry.”

Harry swallows down the sudden excess of saliva in his mouth.

“But don’t worry. I still think you’re plenty special.”

The chocolate mousse arrives and Harry tries to kid himself that the glazed look on his date’s eyes has something to do with himself.

“It’s not a gun, by the way.”

“Hmmm?”

“It’s not a gun. It’s a prototype taser I’ve been tweaking. I’m an engineer, making toys is kinda my thing.”

“You consider a taser a toy?”

“Considering I’m also developing a gun that can achieve absolute zero? Hell yeah it’s a toy. It’s not even lethal, ‘cause I like you so much.”

Harry doesn’t even pretend to hide the effect his words have on him. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth as something deep and dark inside him purrs.

“You’re perfect,” he murmurs, and watches as the other man’s face reddens. Cisco’s eyes, in the dim light of the dining area, seem to become impossibly darker.

“Nah,” he chokes out lightly, “This mousse is perfect. Seriously, Harry. You gotta try this.”

Harrison lets the moment slide, popping a spoonful in his mouth. It’s good. He can think of something that would taste better.

“Cisco-”

“Alright, here’s your check! We hope you had a good time with us this evening, please come back again!”

The waiter drops the check between them, breaking whatever trance held them. He has the audacity to wink at them. Harry curbs the growl building in his throat and clenches his fists. He pays for the meal, even goes against his instincts and leaves a decent tip.

They finish their dessert and Harry escorts Cisco out of the restaurant.

“I had a good time,” he says gently, “Thank you for your company.”

“I feel like I should be thanking you, here. The food was amazing, and you weren’t so bad yourself, Harry.” Cisco grins brightly at him.

“Yes, well.” He tries to fight the blush he can feel rising. He was a grown man, dammit. “Let me escort you to your car.”

“Oh, I took a cab. I can always wait for one to come pick me up, don’t worry about it.”

Harry frowned. 

“Or, y’know. You could give me a ride back to mine. It’s a bit of a mess, but there’s coffee.”

“How could you possibly still be hun-” Oh. Oh.

Cisco laughs.

“I don’t understand how anyone could be scared of you. You’re a dork. I love it.”

“I would be more than happy to give you a ride.”

“Well, I should hope so.” Cisco winks.

Harry is going to give Hartley a raise. And a vacation. And-

His car pulls up to curb and he opens the door. Cisco slides in and he follows after. Something about his words nags at him.

“Cisco.”

“Harry.” His tone is teasing.

“You mentioned something about people being afraid of me.”

“Well yeah,” Cisco chuckles, before sliding closer, “You’re kinda the biggest mob boss in the city.”

All of the air in Harry’s chest leaves him.

“Wha-Y-I-”

Cisco slips onto Harry’s lap and stops his stammering with a kiss.

“Yes,” he says affectionately. “I know. Kinda knew the entire time.”

“Then why-”

“Because I don’t actually care all that much. Now are you going to get with the program, here, or-”

Harry pulls him in roughly, stopping his words with his tongue and his teeth.

“I was right,” he pants out, “You are perfect.”

Cisco lets out a small laugh, squirming closer. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The car starts moving, partitions up (thank god), and Harry’s hand goes to Cisco’s waist, steadying him against him as his other hand finds his way into his hair. He pulls it, dragging his head back and exposing his throat, letting his mouth slide over Cisco’s neck and pulling soft strangled noises out of him before Cisco pushes their mouths back together.

The hand on Cisco’s waist drifts lower, pulling him in tighter, closer, until they can’t be discerned from each other, until they share a body, unti-

Harry’s phone starts ringing.

He ignores it.

It rings again. Hartley’s ringtone. Fuck.

Reluctantly, he drags his face away from Cisco’s and picks it up.

“What?” he snaps, temper high.

“Boss. We have an emergency. We need you down at the docks.”

“I’m a little busy, here, Rathaway.”

The sound of gunshots blares through the phone.

“Harrison. Please. Now.”

Snarling, he throws his phone into the seat beside him.

“Something come up, Harry?”

“Work. I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut the evening short.”

Cisco sighs.

“Alright. Guess I shoulda seen this coming. Didn’t expect it so soon, though.”

Harrison barks out a short, bitter laugh.

“My driver will still take you home. It’s only a few blocks for me, I could use the exercise. I’ll call you in the morning.”

Harry calls the car to a stop and steps out.

Cisco looks torn. “Harry-” he sighs. “Be safe, Harry.”

The words warm him in the cool night air. He leans down and presses a final gentle kiss to his lips.

“I’ll call you in the morning.”

It’s a promise he intends to keep.

He watches the car drive off and walks briskly off. The walk settles him a little. By the time he gets to the docks, the situation has reached it’s zenith.

Good.

Then he can blow off some steam.

#harrisco #harriscofest #this is probably the longest thing i've ever written at once #so uh whoops sorry about that #harry is a mob boss and cisco is pretty ok with it #hartley is well's wesley #this was some gd self indulgent shit it ran away with me there

[elddansurin]

there’s a pretty good character development questionnaire going around my dash right now, so i took the liberties of filling the entire thing out on my own time, because buddy, you gotta make your own destiny.

1. Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use? I had to give this one some thought bc my gut reaction was to say Tuo, but it turns out the answer is Falshavo, because I can explicitly remember drawing him in the hazy, far gone year of early 2006 when I was taking a drivers ed course. He started out as either some bastard of a Silent Hill fanchar, or a heavily SH-"inspired" character, and I think he could have at best been called a demon? I was like 16 when I made him, cut me some slack. In any case, Fal has changed very much over the years, most recently into an original species that can best be described as something visually between a satyr and a manticore, but is actually neither of those things. For quite a while he was based out of my one world, Undecim, but recently I decided he and his ilk would be better suited to my OTHER world, Aphelion. As far as motivations go, he's swapped from evil/crazy/malevolent to a much more nap-based personality. Two things that haven't changed since I've made him, though, are that he's blind in one eye and doesn't talk very much. So there's that.

2. Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not? That honor goes to Jonathan, who was definitely and absolutely a FF7 fan character back when that game was new and I was still in my larval stage. He morphed into a mental illness coping mechanism as my childhood went on and he's just had a whole lot of interesting/embarrassing iterations, but I guess that's to be expected of a character I made in fucking 1997. That said, I retired him a few years ago. Tried briefly to bring him back, but I just wasn't feeling 2.0, so I didn't force it.

3. Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself? I was GONNA say no, but then it just dawned on me how much time I spent creating gay male characters in my early teen years before THAT realization caught up with the rest of me. I'm not going to say the characters themselves were involved in the inevitable personal revelation (they weren't), but more than anything I just think it's proof that pieces of my brain do not always work as a cohesive whole. I knew before I knew, so to speak, and it showed up in my characters.

4. Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories? UHHHH Your Boy Kolja was initially a primary antagonist in Mikhail's storyline, back before I decided to fundamentally retool a lot of things about Mik's whole deal. But I'm nothing if not predictable, and I'm a guy who loves a good villain, so I ended up making Kolja FAR more fleshed out and engaging than the actual protagonist of the story. Same thing kind of happened with Anzo, who was initially kind of an offshoot wildcard character in the horrible and confusing political landscape of that entire bed of storylines. But uhhh, that didn't last.

5. Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why? My characters are all unambiguously human/humanoid. Even the monsters are going to have recognizably human faces because I have a hard time getting emotionally invested in a character otherwise. I'm really not sure the reasons for this. There's a few exceptions, ofc, but not many. Peeling off for a sec, in regards to making characters in TES settings, I definitely am biased toward the elven races because if I wanted to make a human character, I'd do so in own properties. Also the human races in the elder scrolls are kind of... underwhelming...

6. When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first? Written concept, almost every time. The rare exception is usually with minor and/or lore-based characters, like gods or monsters, since I rarely explore those characters as deeply as I do the regular types. But if I'm making Just Some Dude, I'm probably going to have a full written concept drafted out months to years before I ever get a concrete idea (much less an actual depiction) of what he looks like.

7. Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle? I'm going to have to go ahead and call back on Jon for this one, largely based in both his history and his significance to me and my own development. He was my primary, go-to character for such a long time, I don't think it'd do him justice to ever properly put him out to pasture or recycle (and I'm a chronic recycler, so that's saying something). He kind of exists in a creative limbo, and that's where he's gonna stay.

8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Good traits? In all seriousness, probably. Nothing I am consciously aware of, so cop-out answer on this one. I'm also not really one for wish-fulfillment characters, so that's a no on "person I wish I was" aspect, sorry.

9. Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits? HAHAHA hoo boy. Gavriil is the embodiment of my general shiftlessness and crippling self doubt, Tuo embodies my crushing depression and self-destructive tendencies, Ludo represents my reoccuring fear that I’m stuck in circumstances so far beyond my control that I ought not bother to try and change, and I'm not even gonna TOUCH on which of my boys were created as blatant outlets for trauma. There's a fun little game for you, try and figure that one out yourself.

10. Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)? Uh, flat no on the "fetishes" part, but yeah, most of my characters tap on my significant interests in some way or another. Most concrete example I think is Desoto, who I designed (or, well, redesigned if we're getting technical) when my interest in astronomy was at its peak, back before I realized physics is something I'm terrible at and makes me cry/change my major in college. I still love astronomy and astrophysics on a conceptual level, but the second you break out equations, I'm gone. My Boy Desoto, though, I have designed to be significantly more likely than me to do math, so good for him. Funny enough? I've never made a character who's into geology. You know, my actual field. Go figure.

11. If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way? Not really, at least I don't think so. I might wake up in the middle of the night with a better answer screaming to my forebrain, but my gut reaction is a no. I tend to go into writing something with fixed views, and I can't recall an instance of me suddenly deciding "hey, actually this thing is good/bad and I never thought of it this way." I've definitely started viewing the characters themselves differently after starting a project, but never really the traits they personify.

12.   Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached? Definitely the latter. I'm not shy about putting pieces of myself into the characters I make, but at the same time, I really do not see myself in them, nor do I wish to. There's a firm level of detachment in that these are my creations, and rarely do I mold the sort of character where I can in good conscience think "yeah, that's who I want to be." A big part of this is that my character creation/world building habits are and always have been rooted in maladaptive daydreaming (and I have only recently figured out the terminology for a phenomenon I was otherwise well aware of, funny how that works), and that has always been based in me trying to distance myself from who I was (and at times, am). I don't want to put myself into new shoes, I want to focus on someone who isn't me, but has weird, tenuous connections to me. If that doesn't make any sense, pretend that it does.

13. Do you create playlists for your characters? No, and that's based mostly in the sad reality that I stopped seeking out new music years ago. That, and I've never been much of an audiophile, so there'd just be so much overlap in any playlists I created that honestly, why bother. That said, I will occasionally listen to something and think "holy shit, this is ___". First example that comes to mind is Motorhead's Dust and Glass, which is very much the anthem for Ludo. Do me a favor and listen to that song, and you will know everything you need to know about Ludo. Also, I’ve got a handful of songs that make me think very much of Gav, but most recently, I decided that Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street is a good song for him. Like, also for me? But mostly Gavriil. It can be both.

14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset? I've gotta be in the right mood, and that's all it comes down to. I'm still trying to figure out the secret to writing something that's counterintuitive to my mood, but I'm not there yet. I know the answer is "just fucking do it," but here's an idea: shut up? I dunno. I'm a very flaky content creator.

15. Which character is your guilty pleasure? Right now, it is absolutely Gavriil. For a long time I had such an issue with allowing myself to have characters based out of properties that weren't my own, so I started out feeling very self-conscious about putting so much time and thought into Gav. I have since made like eight or nine more TES-based characters in his wake, but some residual sentiment still lingers! See also: I still am too self-conscious to publically share the story I've been writing with him. I'm not sure if that's rooted in me playing in somebody else's sandbox, or if the story itself is coming out of a place of extreme personal vulnerability (I wrote the bulk of it during my recent Complete Mental Breakdown™). Or maybe I'm just self-conscious about my writing in general. Who knows! But at the end of the day I absolutely love Gav and I'm having so much fun working with him. Before him was Kolja for many years, and Tuo before that. Don't get me wrong, I still adore the both of those guys, I just have a new focus for the time being.

16. Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is? Right now, definitely Anzo. He started out very different from what he's become, and at the end of the day, I'm still not sure what exactly I'm trying to do with him. I was/am trying to write him in a story, but it's been proving very difficult because I'm just not sure what I'm trying to accomplish with him. Initially, his core concept was based very deeply in a revenge fantasy that had gotten out of control (I mean, it was a justified revenge fantasy, but that still doesn't make it healthy, my dude, my guy). but then I started thinking a bit more about the major events in his life, and if I was making him react believably enough to what he'd endured. That, and by this time I was in some genuine, bonified darkness in my own life, and that started leaking out into the character and story very much. Now I'm stepping back and wondering, is this where I want it to go? If the answer is no, then where SHOULD it be going? I don't have an answer to that yet. So he's a hard character to write, at least for now.

17. Which character is the easiest to draw/write? I wanted to say Kolja, based in how enthusiastic I was for him for such a long time. I could tell you his story from birth to death, and there's only a few small threads that are still unclear in my mind. Unfortunately, this level of enthusiasm has left me with the understandably daunting task of, you know, actually writing it down. There's SO MUCH to sift through, and it's like scaling a damn mountain. It's all there, I can see the whole thing, but fuck me if I'm not in for a climb. I started in on it late last year before retreating to work on something on a bit... smaller of a scale. Gotta work my way up to that. That said, the actual easiest character to write right now is, again, Gavriil. Part of it is that enthusiasm I have for him right now, and another part of it is that his story is based on the main quest of Skyrim which, lets be honest, is an underwhelming plot on the whole. So the plot has already been written out by someone else; I don't have to worry about that. Neither do I have to worry about actually depicting the entirity of said plot, because it's not actually an interesting one. And honestly why are you reading a story of a character from Bad Game Skyrim if you don't at least have some cursory knowledge of how that game's plot goes? The interesting part- to me, at least- is the effect it has on my character. That's what I've been focusing on, and it's been fun.

18. Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about? Visually? A lot. There's a lot that's outside my skillset, because I don't know how to fucking draw. That's why I shy away from drawing characters who, say, I imagine to have unnecessarily complex tattoo designs. Not only do I not feel like putting in the time to actually depict that, but I also lack the talent to properly do so. It also kind of neuters what I can pull off for some of my more outlandish designs, namely gods and monsters. Kjelchaikhan is the only one of the gods I've drawn so far, and not coincidentally, he also has the easiest design to deal with. I started in on trying to draw Tsenmaer before I realized holy shit, the way I picture her in my head is so far beyond what I'm capable of actually doing. I'm not even going to fucking touch on Archaeos, because that design is going to be... even harder!! Conceptually, not so much. It sometimes happens on a small scale, such as how I've designed Ludo to be a boxer when I know little about boxing and I don't honestly care to learn. But at the same time? His story is based far, far more heavily in the shitty circumstances of his life and how he's trying to worm his way out of that than in the actual "punching dudes in the head for money" thing. That was more a tool to tie him in with the questionable, shady shit that I needed him to be shackled to. "Underground boxing circuit" just sounded like as good of an idea as any, so I figured why not. That aside, most anything I want to write about ends up being something I'm either familiar with based on personal experience, or at the very least am interested in researching for story purposes.

19. What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character? Definitely the personality and basic concept. I very much enjoy crafting characters that are fleshed out and generally believable, and I am very much terrible at designing them on a visual scale. Do all my characters end up looking the same? Yes. Does this bother me? No. If it did, I'd fucking do something about it. What's important to me is who a character is when you boil away all the set dressing. Who is he on a conceptual level? What are his motivations? His basic structure? My character creation process is me sitting down and saying "I want to make a character who embodies these basic traits, and is based on this core concept," then building from there. Visual design is always, always an afterthought.

20. Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them? For the most part: Nope! My characters exist primarily to make me happy and give me something to think about when I'm tired of thinking about myself and my life. There's a few that I'm working very much to translate into stories, but even then I hem and haw over whether or not to actually share the content I produce. Part of it is I'm much more self-conscious about my writing than my art. Used to very much be the other way around, up until I stopped considering myself an artist. Now I just kind of shit drawings out from time to time, and if people think they're terrible, that's because they are and I put no effort into what I do. It's the other way around with writing. I very much put effort, care and detail into my stories. More than bad reception, I fear no reception, which is to say that I'd put so much effort into something, put it out there, and go completely ignored. I have no issues with "you suck/your work sucks," but absolute indifference cuts me pretty deep on matters like this. So yeah, that's a significant obstacle between me and content sharing. That, and assuming I did find any degree of an audience, putting my work out for someone else's scrutiny makes it SIGNIFICANTLY harder to go back and retcon. And boy oh boy, I am a notorious an unrelenting retconner.

#OCs #god fucken bless anyone who actually made it through All Those Words

[thetravelingmama]

Dear Mia: let’s talk about Depression.

If this little blog serves for one purpose, I wish that at least by reading this you get to know me: the real person behind the “Mom” side. In my quest, it would be a disservice to you if I don’t write about difficult, sad, angry or confusing things in my life. This blog is not modeled like social media, where people can only show only one side, the “perfect” side. So today, after reading about the suicide of a great designer called Kate Spade, I thought that I would open up and tell you about my struggles with depression and anxiety; things that I now have learned that are quite common and normal for millions around the world. It has taken me years to come to terms with it and accept that it does not make me less of a person. For years now I’ve kept a watchful eye on it and have no issues on seeking help when I notice that it’s getting out of my control.

“What the #$*k, Mom”, I can imagine it now. Why would I write about something so sad or depressing? Well, because I want you to know that it’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to accept that you have depression... and that’s it’s NOT ok to hold it in and not seek help. This is not something you hide from, this is something you don’t fear to talk about. In fact, I want you to fear about NOT talking about it, about NOT asking for help, even if it’s from a friend. The one thing that is bad about Mental Health is denying that it’s failing, lying to yourself and others by pretending that you are ok.

I did not have a true happy childhood, like maybe other kids have had. By now I’ve written about my upbringing, my divorced parents, etc... so that whole phase we can skip. Being a normal teenager is tough, so when you add to that the story of my childhood, I feel that it’s completely normal that depression reared its ugly head while I was young. I do believe that me being an abandoned kid started it all. That feeling of not being needed or acknowledged, that sinking realization that someone you care for does not love you back is something that can cripple you, for years and years. The good thing is that I know how it started. The sad thing? I could never escape it, fully.

I was a chubby kid in high school and as much as I tried to, I didn’t have a good self esteem. I hated my body, in fact. I starved myself as much as possible, but to no effect. This also added to my depression. Also, for years things at home didn’t make sense, and the toxic environment got to me. In fact, the only way to escape it was by leaving home at maybe 19-20 years old. When I started living my own life, as much as I was scared and lonely, I did find peace and calmness. After a while, I said goodbye to depression for quite a long time.

Then, the end of my first marriage was a very big deal, which ended up making me fall prey to depression for many years. I struggled with the fact that I wanted to leave, but didn’t know how. I felt that if I got divorced, that my ex husband would be all alone. It was a guilt that plagued me for years until I decided that we needed to part ways and let the chips fall where they may. After that, the loneliness of being divorced and saying goodbye to all my friends at the same time was devastating. It took me a couple of years to learn to trust people again and build a new group of friends of my own.

And then... Advertising came into my life.

While I do admit that I had fun while I had my career in many ad agencies - and I got to meet your Dad! - this life is extremely difficult for the faint of heart. You are taught to work under severe stress. Sometimes you have to work long hours, maybe for months at a time. Your bosses can annoy the shit out of you at any moment, or chew your ass of for any simple mistake. In fact, if you make a mistake like a “typo”, you have to feel the guilt of knowing that by being a dumb human (who might be overworked but that’s a whole other post), your ad agency is now financially responsible for that ad, which by the way, costs thousands of dollars. Then you have to manage working with backstabbers, liars, people with huge egos... I can go on and on... Why is this important? Because while working in advertising, I developed a new challenge: anxiety was my new best friend.

At some point my anxiety was so bad, my brain started having tremors, I developed an eye twitch that lasted for months. It was hell. I went to different doctors, thinking I was sick, but when I learned that I had anxiety and panic attacks because of my work, I started to hate it with passion. That was the moment that my love for advertising started to go away, when it began attacking my health.

When we started our own business, I thought it was going to be easier. Well, it ended up being 50/50. I did not have the stress to “arrive on time” every day, I did have the liberty of waking up at whatever hour I wanted... but I still had to work long hours, for months at some point. The thing about having our own company did come with an added bonus of the anxiety you feel when you have to hit a certain billing goal, or to handle your finances correctly so that everything is done according to tax codes, etc. The stress of running a business AND working in advertising, even if it was our own brand and company, did make me feel tired, sometimes miserable... because I had so much work! The day that your father told me that I could retire from advertising was the first time in almost 6 years when I slept like a baby. Oh yes, anxiety and depression can give you the finest things in life: like insomnia! For more than 6 years, I found it hell to try to sleep. When I retired, the insomnia left, I had no more panic attacks and I was so healthy that life gave me a really good present: I got pregnant and had you! Little by little I’ve learned to find balance. I’ve also learned how to delete things that don’t make me happy, not linger on things that are not important or that might hurt me at the end. I’ve even have let go of the anger and sadness that I felt for years about my father; and that release has made me a happier person. Grudges and resentment are just stupid things to hold on to. Life is short to feel so many bad things instead of accepting them and moving on.

Feeling sad is normal. Feeling angry or confused too. I still get depressed, I struggle with anxiety every single day, even more now since I now carry the “Mom Load”. But you know what? Life is not perfect. In fact, I would not trade my experiences for anyone else. Every sad moment I’ve lived, I have learned from. Every moment where I’ve felt lost has shaped me into what I am and what I plan to teach you as well. It was the moments where I denied myself getting help or admitting that I was depressed that almost killed me. Life is not meant to be perfect and cute all the damn time. You will not learn a single thing just from being happy. You have to fall down, you have to hit rock bottom once in a while. That’s the only way you can evolve.

There have been many times where I’ve wondered if by me not existing it would get better. There have been moments where I’ve thought about moving on, because the sadness has been so intense and there is no end in sight for it. I can honestly say that most of us have thought about it once or twice in our lives. I truly hope, with all my being and heart; that you don’t ever wish for your life to end because you feel so sad that you can’t continue. At least, let me tell you this: it does get better, if you just reach out your hand. As much as you think you might be alone, life will surprise you. I will be there. Your Dad will be there. Then, when we’re gone... someone else will be there for you. A friend, a colleague... a neighbor. Your special someone. And if for some reason you can’t see anyone there, promise me that you will grab the phone and talk to someone. Anyone. Anyone that will listen and talk. You will be surprised at the amount of gentle, incredible human beings out there who are willing to listen, just so that you can stay one day more... until it gets better.

My Grandma passed away years ago, but I still live by one thing she taught me: “One day, you will look back at one huge problem you had... and you will laugh about it”.

Trust me, Mía. That laugh will come. Hang in there. Don’t give up.

Hazlo por mí. Te amo. Mamá.