#so the fucking that old man meme still stands

[bornetoblood]

Is this Moon Divorce

Ye… yes…

#I need to say that lozza and gehr are similar aged imo but they are still both old men #and they do call each other “old man”’ #so the fucking that old man meme still stands #thank you for this #moon divorce #it is very funny

[katyspersonal]

It doesn't even make any sense to say ppl justify the Do/ll so they can simp for Ge/hr/man because simps here are always okay with their blorbo being a little or much morally depraved. It is Tumblr, what do those edgelords expect?

jhfgfgdsgds Well, yeah

If you really analyze WHAT fictional male characters tend to attract a lot of stans and people thirsting for them, it is almost always unconditional? Like... People do not need to apologize anyone in BLORBOrne to like them. I mean LOOK at the guys BB fandom thirsts for the most - they are not even TRYING to pretend their favs are not what first meets the eye!

So why would that change for like, a single old man? In fact, on tungle dot hell the more unapologetically and obviously twisted the character is - the BETTER, somehow...?

I will be real, when I was digging lore and themes rather than characters interpreting, I was completely content with 'Maria is a badass masculine woman and G3hrman is a creepy old man' interpretation and worked my ideas from that field. I just... had no problem with the character being messed up and still hated OR enjoyed for who he is? It was when I got a glimpse of big misinterpretation going thanks to retranslation document when I grabbed my pretentious magnifying glass and made my own research.

Feels like eternity now, but to confess the truth, I kinda... liked it how it used to be? The type of 'a person I'd hate to deal with in real life but can explore from every angle in fiction'. Just ask @val-of-the-north how hard I simped for him back then *sobs* (Don't actually ask him oh my god sdfhfdhs I am joking) But yeah that's in the past and I don't even NEED it anymore, whatever I was able to obtain from the concept I now got in spades

But yeah, again, I agree - not even ONCE a Tumblr simp needed to deny the reality; there is just... well, when the blorbo is not ACTUALLY that bad, there is no fun in liking him with this 'badness', and Gehrm4n is... well, not that bad. But fictional men lovers here will pick the worst war criminal who is evil just to be sexy and portray HIM and not some 'morally grey character' as the dream husbando, THIS is what Tumblr stands on and WILL stand on forever sdfjhhds

#fandomry rambles #shitposting #ask replies #filtering the name because these memes are too fucking stupid to leave my target audience sdfhfhfhgsd #sorry </3 #i still stand by the remark that if g3hrman was straight up bitch without any 'up to interpretation' controvercy- #-he'd actually have MORE fans #it is just that everyone with at least 1 Insight point just FEELS that something is not right here #blorborne should be new name for a section of fandom that is mostly or entirely devoted to liking bb blorbos tho dfskjhfd #especially 4 sexymen of the apocalypse (m1colash alfr3d v4ltr and brad0r) #god every time i have to use the word blorbo i remember that time on twitter when no one knew what this word means fsghfsd #it was so funny dfshfdhgs #but.... yeah.. to be honest i would not mind g3hrman being creepy old man in the slightest :') #i'd just object that he simps for maria and want to be his little doll MYSELF :(((((( #but yeah as someone who loves m1colash and aldr1ch a lot i am defo not the type to wash blorbo's depravity away #if anything i am all for making character even WORSE! just check some of my takes on mico dshfdh

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Genuinely so obsessed with the ask you answered about reader being associated with König’s childhood bullies and coming back years later to try and make amends……. I need the angst, the drama, the nasty disgusting degrading sex, the absolute turmoil on both of their parts 😭 I am starving for this, the way you portray König especially there is exactly how I’ve always envisioned him in my mind!!!!!! And then with reader desperately trying to make him happy now out of guilt and her crush that’s grown 10x since she saw him in school, delusionally hoping and believing there’s a *relationship* between them and she can fix what she thinks she allowed to happen back then 10 years after the fact, while König is constantly fighting himself to not fall for reader despite his own buried crush resurfacing, and convincing himself he’s only using her to release stress and tension after assignment while simultaneously holding so much resentment for her and her sheer proximity to the people that tormented him back then, I am foaming at the mouth for the toxic dynamics to be found there !!!!!!!!! The old him begging to fulfill some childish need to have her, while this new monstrous version of himself only wants to watch her suffer to repent for how he had to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!

I know right?! I’m obsessed with this too!

I’m so here for the toxic relationship dynamic (sue me), also me and @bucca2/@wordstome had a whole conversation about this yesterday because König would bend over backwards to self sabotage this shit.

(The following is mainly a summary from our brainstorm session from last night + I have bucca to thank for the precious meme at the end, it’s König in a nutshell with his high school crush lol)

First of all our girl is sooo in love. She was in love when they were young, but now? She’s a goner, König is out of this world. He's so handsome, so confident, the epitome of cool if there ever was one... and God, would you look at those muscles?

Now she can finally drool all over him but back then, what was she to do? As the shy one of the clique, she always tried to avoid attention; she could never have endured what König did. Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but she really was just scared. She could only dream about him from afar, and in her dreams, they would both change schools due to their parents moving or something... Ending up in the same area, finally getting to be together like it was a miracle, Deus ex Machina.

Her silly dreams never came true, but it looks like they're coming to fruition now. And this time, she's going to make everything better! Now that they're both grown up and free from their tormentors she can finally admit that she has feelings for him, feelings that are only sparked fast aflame when she sees the man he has become.

And König can’t stand it.

Where was she when he was odd and scrawny? Where was she when he cried himself to sleep over her?? Of course she wants him now that he’s big, independent and menacing, an odd nerd who discovered guns and gym... He thought she was better than this.

Deep inside, he’s still like this:

...but we just need to forget about it because König is NOT going to fold for this girl.

He’s not.

And the sex is so NASTY. Bordering on degrading, König wants to be a gentleman when it comes to ladies, but this one? This one he wants to fuck like he paid for her. She brings out the beast in him, and he finds himself asking her to get on her knees and blow his cock on some filthy cruise... Fucks her like he doesn’t love her, and she’s absolutely lovestruck, when did König become so mean? (God, that she loves him)

Trying not to fall in love with her (as if he ever fell out), König is so incredibly mad at this girl – is this what she wanted this whole time? A buff jerk who fucks her doggystyle until her knees bleed, who gives her the bare minimum, who barely even calls her when he’s away? (He has to physically restrain himself from doing that because of course he’d like to hear her pick up the phone with pure hope in her voice)

While changing his tactics and devising a plot to make her pay, König doesn’t even understand that he’s falling fast for her again while becoming now (seemingly) the best version of himself. It's only to dump her later, of course. He's just being nice so that she'll cry over losing him later. He brings her flowers, eats her out for hours, getting sick satisfaction from the way she cries about how it’s the best sex she’s ever had. He’s going to bring her to her knees, in more ways than just one... She’s going to remember him for the rest of his life when he rearranges her guts, ruining her for any other man.

König is becoming the thing he hates the most while she’s learned her lesson, now wearing her heart on her sleeve. No more shame and secrets, she’s not afraid to tell him how she feels! How she always had a small crush on him… And not even that small… How she loved to hear his presentations, no matter what silly subject they were about because he had actually done his research. How she could’ve swooned when his voice changed. After a short breaking period, he started to talk lower than anyone else in the class, earning himself more of that bullying because he sounded so manly at such a young age.

König is about to burst a blood vessel when hearing all this: she had a crush on him back then? What the actual fuck??

And then come the cuddles, the slow mornings, the coffee and toast, the showering together… She leaves her toothbrush in his place, and it stares at him accusingly from the side of the sink. She wears his t-shirts and looks absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering and sweet in them. His sexy little minx, the one who didn’t get away…

Wait, what? No. No. No!

And when his high school sweetheart confesses her love for him for the first time, she's so open and vulnerable and sweet about it. Like she has been from the start, his sweet, sweet girl, exactly the kind of woman he always wanted to bring home to see his mom. König is about to lose his mind when she tugs at his shirt, almost cries when she says how much she loves him and couldn’t bear to live without him… She would cry herself to the grave if anything ever happened to him…

(König is like:)

#könig angst #könig fluff #mmm this is so nasty and delicious #they're practically soulmates #collaborating with other writers #könig x highschool sweetheart

[aerialworms]

...would you fuck a clone of yourself?

Happy Birthday old man! Let me make fun of you!

I couldn’t decide which answer to give him in my last post so I gave him them all <3

+ Jackles bonus because that man is as deranged about Dean as I am:

(Image IDs (and episode IDs!) under cut)

[Image ID: Answers from the Buzzfeed quiz “Would you fuck a clone of yourself” meme edited over screenshots of Dean Winchester from various episodes of Supernatural.

1. 16 year old Dean from 9.07 Bad Boys looks confused and answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.”

2. 18 year old Dean from 4.13 After School Special smirks and answers “I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone”

3. 1.01 Pilot Dean stands in Sam’s apartment, smirking self-consciously, next to Sam, who looks disappointed with him. He continues the previous answer: “because I want to know if I'm good in bed.”

4.  Dean Smith, at his desk in 4.17 It’s a Terrible Life, looking concerned, answers “I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.”

5. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger Dean sits at the map table in the Bunker and reads a porn magazine. He answers without looking up “It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.”

6. Alternate Universe HunterCorp Dean from 15.13 Destiny’s Child sits on the other side of the map table in the Bunker. Looking bewildered, he answers “It’s not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

7. Dean, handcuffed on the floor in Endverse Dean’s cabin in 5.04 The End, tells his alternate self “I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

8. In the same scene, Endverse Dean holds up his assault rifle and answers “I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”

9. Dean, completely under the memory curse in 12.11 Regarding Dean, says with wide eyes “I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.”

10. Demon Dean in 10.01 Black, reclining naked in bed, makes a funny face and gestures cheekily as he answers “Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.”

11. The bonus image. Dean, in Jensen Ackles’ trailer in 6.15 The French Mistake, holds up a fan magazine with Jensen and Jared on the front. He looks absolutely done. The box containing the quiz answer has been edited to look like a speech bubble coming from Jensen’s mouth on the magazine. It reads “To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.”

All the images have been watermarked with the poster’s url “@aerialworms”. /End ID]

#spn #dean winchester #deansbirthdaybash #jensen ackles #demon dean #endverse #memes #mdni #suggestive #deannnnnn #deanmon #jensen #this took me like five hours wheeee #he's just so. i mean. just. he <3 #don't mind me reusing one from my other post with this meme #like i said. this took like five hours asjdgfksd #and the whole reason i made this was because it was so so hard to choose just one dean to answer the question #so here's my solution!!! #all the deans!!! #original poast

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

IRL MEETS WITH DAZAI, SIGMA AND FYODOR

Headcanon: How I imagine you and the boys meeting after being online friends Genre: Crack A/N: Still questioning why i tried writing this... Warning? Bad grammer and 0 proofread →Masterlist

Dazai:

You both pretty much met on twitter when you were concerning who was behind the chuuya hate acc 🤩 I mean who can hate chuuya?

you probably were a new member in the mafia for not knowing about THE Dazai oSaMU

or you were a member of Detective agency dense enough to know that they both were infact enemies and not enemies soon to be lovers 🤩🤩😔🏳️‍🌈

OR You were a freelancer fresh college passout student who was wasting their time online getting blocked by 12 year old kids 🤩😋that was until you accidentally befriend him

successfully had 6th month friendaversy. 🤩🤩

when you both exchanged your place of residence you were shocked to know there are actually useless people in Japan apart from you

OR You were just concerned to know that he used to stay up late at night to talk to you while you message him in between work hours. 🤩🤩Dazai is such a romantic mood NGL

AHHHH Its the day of THE friends meeting.

You lowkey regret befriending him.

He probably sends you discord kitten memes and his hand pics for no reason. [BUT CSN WE TALK ABOUT HIS HANDS-!!?]

Mf once tried to video call you when you specifically told him NOT to.

He was blocked for a whole week before someone named 'iaminlovewithdeathtoes' spammed you.

🤡honestly you realised you both never shared your name, so pretty much to arrived at the meetup place, thinking of ways how to say 'chuuyahater6fttall' and knowing him, he prob would have you come over the agency cause bitch is lazy asf.

Dingdong you arrive at Yokohama or pretty much at the agency 🤩🤗except you were shitting in your pants cause what the actual fuck. So the person you talked with, who encouraged all kind of illegal stuff and told you to shoplift and send a pic was actually a detective??? Nah dawg you wished he was a lowkey an accountant cause which detective will have so much time to be online and chat?

boi you were wrong. And to have cherry on the top, you bumped into a brown coat bearing man who looked like he was high on nuts. But damn he looked hot

did you say "sir please scream me without the s 🥺" to yourself? Did he hear it? probably

🤩boom your headphones got disconnected for a moment and the whole agency went silent as the lyrics of "good lookin" started to play.

The man infront of you laughs before kidnapping you and dragging you out of the agency, a queue of screams and shouts for the man to comeback and you desperately trying to switch off your phone. (🤩🤗The lyrics were blasting through the area)

honestly you didn't mind as long as he turns out to be those Wattpad overprotective mafia bosses 🤩🤩🤗🌟 so you can have ur Y/N moment

'Help I am getting kidnapped by brown coat man and am left all alone' you typed, as the three dots indicated that chuuyahater typing before he replied, 'I am the man'

The way you audibly screeched as your turn back and your hand automatically made a way to his face to give him a slap. (🤩You heard laughing in the background, it was chuuya fyi)

"Aww belladonna, I thought you loved me" "THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU KIDNAP ME AND MAKE ME STAND ON TOP OF A HIGHASS BUILDING" "But you agreed to do it once we meet!"

Oh he was serious when he said that 🤡

You ran away as fast as you can away from him, as you typed

'you are a bitch you know that?' 'And you are really beautiful you know that?'

😍🤩 you were greatful to get away from him, except he was knocking at you door (hotel door if u came from other part of the world) at 3am playing THAT part of the song "redbone by childish gambino" (iykwim) outside your door

Sigma

you both honestly never befriended.

You accidentally messaged him asking him to deliver you a pizza

🤩and when he replied with 'wrong number' you lost your shit. 'The fuck you mean wrong number you son of a-' 'Dont have one?'

Sigma maybe anxious in real life but online? Pretty sure he is a full on sassy sarcastic not so sweet Sigma (respectfully)

You both might have had a very professional verbal conversation over phone that day.

He and you might have bonded yet again when you, my dear reader accidentally send him a meme you were suppose to send someone else (guess who) and Sigma lost his shit.

Why was na unknown number, with memory of a snail sending him 20 pictures of a fisheye doll at 3am in the morning?

'Are you okay-?' He probably asked, 'Do I look sane?' you probably answered.

😭 but lowkey thinks that you both exchanged your insta Ids or smthg.

😡😡He didn't even acknowledge your following and never followed you back. 😔 rip your follower count

You spam him with reels and he? REPLIES TO ALL OF THEM LIKE GOOD BLESS THIS MAN TO RUN A WHOLEASS CASINO AND STILL HAVE TIME TO WATCH YOUR REELS

You would rant to him and he will listen 100%

Pretty sure you never tired to meet up. It was your ass being dragged by one of your friends to accompany them to a flying casino and get bankrupt.

Prob msged him saying how edible the manager of the place you went looked😭😭 (you didn't tell him u went to a casino so)

He replies with 'go get your man and stop telling me details about his hands'

And so you did, pretty much used your luck and became the star of Casino😡😡

Society validation? Nah 👎 but Casino manager acknowledge? Yah 👍

Now the thing is, Sigma probably got really indulged on how you managed to beat records that he spent time doing a background check rather then opening his phone and seeing your 99+ texts.

You on the other hand? Went wild. Your online friend wasn't responding!!!?? 😡😡 and you were telling him the tea how the manager put his hand on your shoulder acknowledging you.

Little did you know, you were so blinded texting 'the casino manager' You failed to realise you bumped into him.

phone drop, heart stop screen crack, gave you a heart attack.

worst part? The 'Manager' picked up your phone, looking down at the chat only to see his pfp and his contact named "Pizzah Guz" and your half written text of 'Where are you, I miss talking to| '

You were whereas unsure whether to feel embarrass or cry. You see his face only to realise the amount of shock you gave to the manager.

😭😭Pretty sure it took some time for him to cool down.

BUT I THINK he totally appears in front of your room, with a pizza guy costume and a box full of pizza, messaging you 'Open your door'

You were a little freaked out by his message. I mean Imagine texting a random guy and the only thing you know about him is that he is not a pizza guy and he tells you to open your door?

You open your door to see the manager in a pizza delivery guy uniform, a pizza in his hands while he holds his phone together, before he hands it over to you, before your phone notification tings, your online friend sends an image capturing 'Pizza delivery'

You fainted on the spot of pure embarrassment and realisation when you realise you were texting the manager while simping on him and describing details.

Or you just take the pizza and close the door, switch off and throw your phone on the bed and eat the pizza while the realisation hits.

Fyodor:

You both probably met on discord while bullying middle schools for their pfp choices 😭

10/10 had bombing conversation 👁️👄👁️ that is until you realise he was serious about it.

You be joking about how you will learn hacking to hack him and that moment all your dms get 'Join the rat cult' Picture.

😭😭please idts you met physically…like the possibility of fyodor arriving at your doorstep while you are half asleep eating a pizza and watching TV is insane.

Imagine you peep through the peephole and see fisheye fyodor 🤩🤩 10/10 scared

Online friend? Nah man he is your offline terrorist. That was until his wholeass body blewup and the only thing that was left was his arm from which he used to type to your responses from.

10/10 Power of Love and friendship

I feel like whenever you both VC, your silly self will try to use the soundboard and he probably vibe to it.

You both accidently made a cult.

Fyodor NGL prob just stalked you out of boredom.

Nikolai probably be backreading your chats and the next day you have a new coworker named "Fyolaya"

Honestly there is a possibility that fyodor has zero interest in meetup and then bam Nikolai scopes you in the middle of your work and drop you on fyodor's lap🤩

Imagine the tension when you, a average worker in the society lands on the lap of one of THE Doa members

Y/N x hot mafia boss who kidnaps Y/N accidentally cause Y/N met his man au? Terrorist edition?

You living a Wattpad life? Possibilly

A/N: Look i am sane

TAGLIST: @averagehisoilluenjoyer, @high-on-dazai @ruru-kiss Join or remove your user here.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bungou sd #dazai #bsd headcanons #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #bsd imagines #mention of chuuya #Fyodor x Reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #fyodor fluff #fyodor imagines #bsd fyodor #bungo stray dogs spoilers #bungo stray dogs sigma #sigma bungou stray dogs #decay of angels #bsd sigma #sigma bsd #doa sigma #sigma #sigma x reader

[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

#gxk spoilers #kai talks #KAI FKIN YAPS SOMEONE SHUT ME UP #godzilla #mothra #shimo #kong #didnt have time to spellcheck dont @ me

[neighborhood-houseplant]

I JUST READ YOUR KILLUA RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS AND I AM SCREAMING. I was wondering if you could please do some domestic Killua headcanons, they don't have to be married headcanons because i know some people aren't comfortable with it. Thank you, take care!

Domestic Killua Zoldyck Relationship Headcanons

Author's note: Hi anon! I'm so glad that you liked my other headcanons so i give you these!

❥ He's used to waking up early for training and stuff, because he always had to for training when he was younger but now that you've gotten him addicted to sleepy morning cuddles and now he complains to no end whenever either you or him have to get out of bed

❥ Like the poor boy will so firmly in denial

❥ "Killua, Love, we have to get going, it's 6am."

❥ "No, it's not, go back to bed, baby."

❥ He has great memory and is always double or triple checking his bag or pockets to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything, so he almost never forgets anything and this helps you out too because he likes to check you're things and packs anything you've forgotten for you along with a little note wishing you a good day.

❥ THIS MAN CAN COOK

❥ I know people may think this is kind of a stretch but I headcanon that before he ran away, he learned a lot from the cooks working at his family mansion.

❥ It also really feeds his ego when you compliment his cooking skills lmao. Also he 110% uses his claws to cut up food.

❥ "Hey, pretty face, get me a knife, please?"

❥ "They're all dirty, hold on, let me wash one for yo- okay then."

❥ He still trains pretty often like around 4/7 days a week, so not as much as he used to but he's still staying on top of his game, more so out of habit than him wanting to but he does still enjoy it. 

❥ But lets remember that he has a very, very, very large amount of stamina so he can train for a long time.

❥ So more often than not, you get tired before him so you go to get a drink or eat and just watch him workout, you know, for ideas for things to next time, definitely not check him out, no sir 😭

❥ Going grocery shopping with him will go one of two ways. Either, he has a list, he’s a man on a mission, he’s determined to stick to the list, he’s a man with a vision, nothing shall sway him.

❥ Until he enters the store and sees some new chocolate or candy that he hasn’t tried. All that resolve? Gone.

❥ You end up getting things that you guys actually need and he’s just standing there with like 50 packs of whatever it is that he bought lmao 😭

❥ He likes to take you on at least one date every week. But he’s started avoiding parks, (unless you want to go ofc) because once a little kid called him an old man because of his white hair and poor Killua practically died.

❥ When you two were decorating your shared home, he wanted pretty neutral oe dark colours but he caved when asked for a brighter colour scheme but he, to this day, still says it looks like a Teletubbie threw up in there, but he loves it.

❥ Movie nights happen often but he didn’t want to watch titanic at first because he said, “It’s going to be so boring and lame.” but cue him at the movie literally a sobbing mess😭

❥ He never recovered lmao

❥ He tried to start a flower garden and just forgot about it for a week and all the flowers died. He restarted it but you take care of it for him because he’s still pretty forgetful about it but he’s convinced he’s done it all himself because you decided not to tell him.

❥ You know that one meme that’s like, “You’ve been home for an hour and a half and not even once, not one time have you tried to cuddle me and it’s pissing me the fuck off, I want my fucking cuddles.”? Yeah that’s him, he gets so moody without physical contact from you, it’s hillarious.

❥ He likes to make fun of people who can’t do basic house chores but then you walk in on him wrestling a fitted sheet and swearing like a sailor😭

❥ He can cook, as I’ve mentioned before, but he also like junk food and it won’t do shit to him because of his fast metabolism.

❥ You guys have a cat named flip-flop (thank killua for that) and he SPOILS it so much.

❥ “Come on, Y/n, Flip-flop would never scratch the curtains. Isn’t that right Flip-flop?” And it meows like it’s agreeing.

____________

Tag list -

@mayttesworld  @v3ntit0p1a  @eiswife 

#hxh x reader #hxh headcanons #killua zoldyck #hxh #hunter x hunter x reader #killua x reader #fluff #leorio paladiknight #gon freecss #hxh scenarios #hunter x hunter #kurapika kurta

[slaygentford]

hi um. as an opera enjoyer do you have any thoughts on gounod's romeo & juliette?

just dug through my absolutely unusable inbox (sorry I did that ask meme and never replied I got really busy :/) to find this again because I just saw it last night and I have a couple of points ie an essay. first off the libretto is fucking deranged you have the entirety of one of the greatest achievements of the English language at your disposal

and do this instead

which proves again that the only way to adapt Shakespeare is ballet/physicality/mime because it's the only way of not using his poetry that you can convey his poetry

adjacent is that obv above they're in their 20s-30s but with dance the acting comes across better bc it's the entire body whereas opera they've gotta stand fairly still and so you're very aware you're watching two 35 year olds do this same scene as 14/15 year olds only singing and singing bad verse besides.

point b leads into point b.5(?) which is I straight up don't like tenors. I've come to accept this about myself. I straight up dislike a tenor. grow up. why are you as a man a tenor. men should either be countertenors (I kno we all saw it six years ago and daily since but let's revisit) or baritone or bass. stop yelling. STOP IT!!!! STOP YELLING!!!!! oh MY god. as you can imagine this makes my life very difficult. not Gounod's fault. I understand that Romeo obviously cannot be a baritone.

b.5: in every French opera you inevitably have the one frenchman in the cast who instead of rolling the r's has decided to swallow them instead which just annoys me. thats the entire point I just dont like it I like French opera fine love it even but oh my godddddd stop it. stop it. get some help.

point d: all of that being said the music alone is absolutely. just absolutely. just absolutely absolutely. beyond beautiful. and obviously we're all there at least in part for the spectacle of it. I spent 43 usd to see her do this

and obviously that was the bargain of a lifetime and regardless of all of the above I'd go again if I had another 43 bucks to spend. Ive seen her as Violetta as well several years ago and I will say that her Violetta is what took me from a casual opera fan to my current state and I did SPECIFICALLY go see this for her. the chokehold this woman has on an audience is unreal and this + je veux vivre are just really stunning pieces of Gounod's so what can you do.

in conclusion to enjoy this opera you must pretend it is not Romeo and Juliet because it is not Romeo and Juliet. not to be dramatic but it's a garish pastiche that offends me on a base level and if I'd seen it in 1860 whatever when it came out I'd be saying that loudly and complaining for the ENTIRE carriage ride home. but it's 2024 and I can turn on the baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet so it's all good. it's sonically really lovely and a great showcase for any soprano

[anarchic-miscellany]

Reading "One Piece" for the first time, Part 5: So, pretty early on (about the time a murder clown nuked a village) I realised that escalation was basically a crapshoot in this series, and honestly one of its charms thus far. Now the Idiot, the Himbo, the Cartographer with a Brain Cell and Meme in Progress Usopp are chilling at this floating fish restaurant. The Giga Chad Chef they met who kicked an entitled Karen in the face has now given free food to a pirate in need, because he's a pretty stand up guy. Nice touch honestly. But now a man made of guns has arrived and declared war on the restaurant because he wants the logbook of the elderly chef who runs it (and has a pegleg, honestly I am surprised at the restraint in waiting this long for a peg leg on the author's part, though I am surprised also that it doesn't have a shotgun in it or an interdimensional portal to the food dimension, or something) so he can cross "The Grand Line" after a fuck load of his crew got their shit pushed in out there. Naturally the restaurant and old man want him to shove it, so a fight ensues. I like the wholesome army of chefs who cannot work elsewhere and will defend this place until death, it's becoming a theme. This villain is kind of meh, especially after the Cat Guy in the last volume, and he keeps doing that thing of shooting his own dudes in the face which... okay man, great tactic. Still, we get to see the Giga Chad (I think he's going to be my favourite) roundhouse spiral kick a bunch of dudes and that's honestly kind of cool. The Cartographer with a Brain Cell has pissed off with their ship and loot, which I should really have seen coming, but in my defence I was distracted by the chef pirate battle and the arrival of... I'll get to you... I'm looking forward to them confronting her and getting their stuff back, I mean: they literally only just got this thing! Anyway, the fight is fun, kinetic, vast, frantic, it's the first one which really busts free and does its own thing and isn't merely "Dragon Ball Z" showdowns (RIP Toriyama, King) between two guys in fields. But then this fucking guy arrives. "Dracule Mihawk", the man who cuts a ship in half. You can tell this series was started in the 90s, because he is cringe incarnate, he is the edgelord anime stereotype of a badass, spoken of like a whispering nightmare of death upon the wind. And honestly I find him super dull, super cliched and just not worth my time at all. Naturally he ends up stabbing the Himbo with only a small dagger and is going to be his nemesis for the series. I appreciate them bringing in a character who will be a recurring, soon to overcome villain, but for fuck's sake, can it be literally anyone else? I'll take that Morgan guy over him. I'll take the fucking Lion Tamer. But no, we get this towering inferno of cringe. Also, Usopp doesn't really have anything to do here, shame. Anyway, now they're battling a man made of bin lids who calls himself "Pearl". Sure.

#One Piece #monkey d. luffy #Usopp #Meme in Progress #Roronoa Zoro #Nami #Sanji #Vinsmoke Sanji #Himbo #Giga Chad #Manga #Reading One Piece for the First Time

[mister-christmas]

hello guy who acts like a 12yr old who just discovered reddit and atheism and thinks he's hot shit. You have two choices before you: 1 Become a normal, well adjusted human being 2 keep shitting your fucking pants screaming "HERESY!! BURN THE HERETIC!! GET ME THE HEAVY FLAMER!!" whenever you see other people minding their business and enjoying the same hobby as you

Alas. Did you know warhammer 40k originally intended the Empire of Man, and all it's silly "muh human superiority all xenos must die" to be a satire? That aspect, of course, has sort of lost a lot of it's value over the years, due to the ludicrous amount of writers that the franchise has had over the years, but it is still rather apparent. I mean take a look at the ordo chronos wars, with people getting executed because getting the date wrong is heresy. Or take a look at, fuck, i don't know - the Thunder Warriors, who were all killed by the Emperor of Man because they 'outlived their usefulness'. Did you know that before he began the holocaust, Hitler ordered the deaths of mentally and physically disabled Germans? Many of whom were veterans of the first world war, whom he was supposedly aiming to avenge in his campaign of 'retribution' and bringing the Reich back to it's former glory. Eugenics, as the idea that 'genetically imperfect' humans don't deserve to live (note: the first human right is the right to live, ya doofus. Yes even awulf, wretched wastes of air like pedophiles and rapists have this right, as it is unalienable. It is also there so that people falsely accused of rape do not immediately get killed for a crime they did not commit) is called nowadays, was also surprisingly popular in the USA before and during the war. The shining bastion of democracy and justice lobotomized people it found too hard to deal with so that they would become easier to manage. It also banned interracial marriage. Something I also found curious, did you know that antifa means antifascist? Sorry to break it to you bud, but if you're antiantifascist you stand with the fascist. And if you are, sincerely, a fascist then i hope you do like Hitler and shoot yourself in the head <3

Man, you wrote an entire essay and managed to say nothing of value. But I've got time to kill so let's go through this.

It's interesting you think I, a Christian man, act like a reddit atheist

"Burn the heretic" is a meme, you clod. It's a joke. And when people are minding their own damn business I don't care about their little nonsense headcannons. But quite often they want to change the whole hobby to suite them.

Of course the Imperium is evil! It's fucking called the Imperium! Every faction in 40k is evil, that's the point! It's grimdark! It invented grimdark!

I see we're just completely going off the reservation today. No shit nazis, eugenics, lobotomization, and racism are bad. Is there a point to your ramblings?

Ah, well that makes the rest of this meandering tirade make a little more sense. You're stupid enough to think antifa has a monopoly on being against fascism. I can disdain both fascists and antifa. Being the enemy of my enemy doesn't make them my friend. Moreover just because they call themselves antifa doesn't mean they're actually fighting fascism or doing anything worthwhile.

[archivalofsins]

In a funnier turn of events after getting that Mikoto post out I am feeling more comfortable discussing his character. It was really bugging me that I was perceiving the fandom as an unsafe space to discuss plurality on a two alter system basis. It never seemed appropriate to gush about it given the things I'd been shown being said.

Yet, I was really happy with Double and the Neoplasm voice drama. Because it showed how diverse dissociative identity disorder can be with just two alters. Instead of just doing the same old hi I'm the totally good one and I'd never hurt a fly and I'm sin incarnate sometimes I just do bad shit for the lols you know.

The thing that most media does when discussing that presentation. I don't know how to really tackle my own feelings on it. It's like most my life I grew up seeing it represented as oh no, the evil one is out. As though the person had been possessed almost. So, it was very refreshing to see it be like, "Oh well, they're both just people. No one is as simple as just good or bad. They both have a variety of behavior."

It's something that should by now rightfully be expected when it comes to that sort of representation of it. Yet when it comes to two people always focus on the duality. The light and the dark the good and the evil. They try to separate all nice in neat like that without really focusing on the individuals. So, I was ultimately really pleased by Milgram. Though it could be because I'm more on the older side or just I gave up on looking for good representation and started avoiding anything thar covered it in middle school.

Honestly, I still avoid things that deal with it outside of Milgram. Simply out of habit of thinking, man, is it gonna be this shit again? How do I know it's not that shit again? Oh well, you gotta watch it, of course. I'm not doing that. I don't trust it. Yet with Double, there were just so many great things about it that really made me go.

Yeah, they get it. This is actually great. I couod harp on the lyrics all day.

Like favorite lines were,

1. That'd be good.

With the lyrics before it and how it's enunciated with so much longing paired with the visuals of him wiping the blood to look down into the other end of the train. It really fucking goes hard as a line. Really embodying the whole come on praise me for helping you I did good right I saved you right so hey where's my thank you it'd be good if you said it energy.

2. Doesn't matter if you didn't wish for it, can't get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren't you? I'll protect you (us).

Just the enunciation the growl. It's just really good as if going oh you want to push me down well I'm not going anywhere.

3. "He's a liar," you said and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?

The fucking double meaning if this one line is just so got damn amazing. It's not only calling back to the ridiculous accusations lines in Double but discussing the audiences response to Mikoto. Calling him a liar claiming he was faking. But the second half is referring to the audiences reaction to John making him out to be a scoundrel immediately blaming the murders on him. Labeling him as the bad one without even a second thought. Only leaving him to ask why? Putting more meaning behind the line

4. Hey, I just wanted to save you, so why did it come to this? Cling to me hoist me up as your savior stand up and sing out your gratitude- So, why?

As though Mikoto is their asking why is your song like this you should be praising me. You should be grateful so why?

5. I don't remember a thing it couldn't be helped I'm Double (MeMe).

This line is super great because it's like John and Mikoto both claiming onus of their own songs. And John answering Mikoto's question about why his song is like this. Basically going it couldn't be helped I'm Double. Basically saying it was bound to turn out like this because I'm like this.

6. Why, why? If only I were never born, if only-

To me, this came off as John going. If only I had never been born at all, then neither of us would have existed, and this wouldn't have happened. Expanding on the idea that Es and Kotoko both bring up that his existence is the problem. Which most wouldn't immediately go they mean because of my disorder but go yeah fuck it you're right if I never even lived to begin with this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't even be here for this to happen and then the apology after these lines as if apologizing for having been born at its sooo good.

It has no right to be sooooo good. So, yes despite the incredible detriment that this week has been to my mental health and my anxiety literally being on a fucking hundred. Double has been the best fucking thing to ever happen to me personally. And it's so fucking amazing.

I love it so much.

#milgram #mikoto kayano

[pinetrees-in-the-water]

hiiii, can you do Tim/masky as a father figure to emo/scene kid teenagers??? C:

Oh my god of course!! This is so wholesome, as an emo myself and former scene kid I approve of the Dad Tim/Masky agenda <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

◇Masky/Tim Wright as a father figure to emo/scene teenagers◇

-He never thought of himself as the fatherly type considering all his addictions and his past with the Operator, but he found out that he WANTED to try his best to be a role model after meeting these kids.

-Actively doesn't abuse any substances around the kids as he doesn't wanna normalize it for them.

-He is so supportive. (Even if he can be a little aloof sometimes)

-Tim listens to some emo bands (I think he'd like Good Charlotte and Three Days Grace most) but overall never got super into the style side of the subculture.

-So he's completely facinated when the kids show up with racoon tail hair and gel spikes, hed seen kids back when he was a teenager with the style and is a little amazed kids are still dressing like that.

-If any other kids were bullying his kids he'd scare them, Tim's an intimidating man normally so him appearing behind them or yelling usually does the trick.

-Now if any adults decided to be dicks.....

-He wants to be a good influence and despises what the Operator made him do in the past so nothing TOO bad would happen but they'll certainly get a bit "roughed up".

-Gets the kids old 2000s magazines to go through so they can learn more about what the subculture was like at its peak.

-Tim would absolutely dig up all his old CDs for ANYTHING relevant and play them on car rides. He struggles sometimes when the nightmares or intrusive thoughts hit hard so sometimes a car ride with loud music and singibg teens is just what he needs.

-Road trips and stops by Gas station fast food places are a VERY common occurrence.

-Asks them to do his eyeliner (It becomes a regular occurrence since it hides his bags a bit and he pulls it off VERY well)

-Cannot dye hair, will offer to help if the kids are struggling but its a bad idea.

-Constantly reminds the kids to wear heat protectant when straightening their hair, will even buy them wigs if their hair is getting too damaged.

- "You can't dye your hair green if you have no hair left kid"

-Fucking despises shopping because of the crowds. He's been wearing the same old jackets for forever because "They work".

-Despite this he'll still try and come along for the kids, maybe stand a little suspiciously in a corner of the shop until they're all done.

-Takes the kids out to all the concerts in the area (mostly sneaks them in ngl hes not a bad influence but hes not the best one either)

-Likes how colorful scene clothing can be but does not get all the memes and subculture norms, dude doesn't have a social media.

-"What is XD and :3?"

-Asked if Invader Zim was a rat as a joke, this was followed up with all the kids and Tim binging all the episodes with the kids (he ended up enjoying it).

-The more time he spends with them, unknowingly he starts to see them as his own :)

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FIRST ASK <333 #I kept it a bit ambiguous as to whether theyre staying with him or have their own parents sinfe I wasnt sure but I hope you liked it!! #Ngl im so happy my first ask was so wholesome #creepypasta #marble hornets #creepypasta headcanons #masky marble hornets #masky #tim wright #masky headcanons #pinetrees-in-water:masky asks #pinetrees-in-water:tim wright asks

[hibiscus-misery-pills]

Another thought…

What if… in the sagau/isekai, what if reader was an idiot and ended up pregnant from a one night stand and decided, “fuck it, we ball.” Type of mentality and decide to keep the baby. And reader is randomly isekai’d or sagau into another world, while pregnant…

Just imagine… so you’re still in your first trimester and you ended up in their world… short story of how it’ll go.

Twst wonderland- They freak out, the overseer pregnant when? And how? They’re all f-f-freaking out, (sorry not sorry for using that troll 3 reference). “Whos the baby daddy?” -Ace, prob. He prob got collared but it’s alright, it’s just Ace. All housewarden decides to step up and tries to steal the spotlight as the potential father figure for your child. To make matters worser, it’s just not the housewarden, it’s everyone fighting for that spot. The staff fighting for their spot as the grandpapi, and what not. Reader guaranteed banned Crowley lmao.

Roles they play while your prego :)

Designated cook for your cravings: Trey, Jamil, Azul, Jade, and Vil. Always know what to cook for you when cravings happens, even if it’s in the dead of the night. (Except Vil, he refuses cause it’ll “ruin his sleep schedule” until Trein threatens to have rook replace Vil lmao, W Trein)

Designated bodyguards >:)) : Jack, Deuce, Rook, Leona, Malleus, Floyd, Epel (Let him feel manly), Lilia (He tried to sneak into the kitchen), Silver, Sebek, and Ace. These people are essentially your bodyguards no matter how much you protest, much more of the teasers like Ace and Lilia, reader prob threaten to hang out with deuce over Ace, he became just a tad bit nicer.

Designated friends :3 : Kalim!, Ortho, Idia, riddle, Cater, Braincell duo, ruggie, and of course fae boi malleus. Your bestest friends! These people are the ones to walk with you, heck they even sometimes offer to carry you(which makes the others jealous despite the fact you decline their offers)

The staff?s? : These people are practically your family, they act like uncles and fathers to you. (Except Crowley) Crowley tried to be your “father” be claiming that he’s much more gracious than other staff members, (Idia turned him into a meme) with trein about to deck Crowley for trying to seem better when he’s not. (Yk, despite the fact the trein is old, the old man seems capable of decking people just because,) otherwise these mens are protective like a father would with his daughter. Sam being the only uncle.

The ghosts : Their your light house, they warn you when others are coming to ramshackle. They really do nothing but comfort and watch out for you. To them, your like an unintentional child tossed into their lives. They’re just the best really.

A small scenario of how things would go…

You’re hands shakey, holding the positive pregnancy test…shit, how did this even happen, you knew better than to fuck around, how would you tell your parents and friends, let alone notify the one night stand that he’s your baby daddy?

Taking a deep breath, you decide who cares, hopefully things ends up okay? Grabbing your phone, inhaling sharply, you call your friends, while they seemed concerned they congrats you and even asks who’ll be the godfather/godmother/godparent, where as your parents, not so happy, “you’re in college, how can you get pregnant?”, with your mental mindset already as a ‘fuck it we ball’ type shit, you decide you have your friends support, it’s enough to get you through this.

Soon, you’re three months pregnant…barely, at least you’re a few weeks closer to the second trimester…

You get up to use the bathroom, but when you swing your bathroom door open, and walk back into your room, it’s not your room anymore…. The room is dark, cold, the blinds barely hanging onto the window, curtains slightly rip but still usable, the windows seems frail, you look to your left and see a cold large bed the wall with two nightstands that are barely holding up.

You see what seems to be a Victorian like desk at the semi circle window area, the bed seems undone as well, almost like someone got out of it in a rush, but at least the lamps look good in shape, and the electricity seems to run pretty good too. Hopefully, you can find a heater to warm the house.

Confused as hell, you turned on the lamp on nightstand and take in your surroundings, ‘where the hell am I?’ You think to yourself, your brought out of your thoughts when you hear shuffling from the blankets, “Nya henchhuman! Whats taking you forever and why ya turn on the lamps!?” A black cat with blue flames pop from the blankets, you backed up surprised, and the cat does the same, except its mouth it hanging open.

“Nya! It’s the overseer/creator! You’ve finally arrived! Tha name iz Grim!”

You were quick to hush the cat named grim, to prevent alerting anything or anyone. After some interrogation, you quickly accept the fact you’re in your favorite game twisted wonderland to prevent stressing yourself. Who knows maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow and find yourself back in your original room.

But when you don’t you genuinely begin to stress, but the cat is quick to comfort.

“Nya! Don’t stress! Itz not healthy for mini you!!” Grim scold slightly, arms crossed…

…H-how… did the cat knew..?? You’re faced pale as you looked at the cat in horror, Grim seemed to notice and he points at his ears, “I can hear the heartbeats ya know, I was snuggling up to your stomach like always and heard the tiny heartbeats.” Grim gives an explanation, which made you relaxed, you almost forgot he was a cat.

You open what seems to be a broken yet still operating wardrobe and find a few outfits your size somehow, Grim explained their from your doll, which went into the bathroom and disappeared, he checked the house for the vessel, it seemed to vanish without a trace.

A familiar bag catches your eyes, it’s your school bag, except when you open it, it’s completely dark, almost an endless void, you shrugged and reached in and you pulled out… your phone!!! You can transfers things from your real world to this world!!! You decided to test your luck and have grim set it on fire, it’s invincible too!!!

You open your phone and the time and dates changed as well, but opening the calendar was your biggest regret, most holidays didn’t even exist, only Halloween and a few other you didn’t know.. guess you’ll reintroduce…

“Nya were late!! Professor crewel is gunna murder us!!!” Grim panicked not really a fan of detention apparently… your phone show that it was a Wednesday, going through the wardrobe of your ‘vessel’, you pull out what seems to be a black school outfit, putting it on, and slipping on the matching shoes, you grab your bag, and dip for class.

Not knowing this place, you dread, putting arms around your stomach just in case, grim goes onto the details for you, you’re in a all boy school, and you’re the only female in the school, and shows the way or points the direction of your classes, pulling up to this professor crewel class seems to take time, fearing on what the hell to do.

Opening his classroom door softly, all eyes fall on you, “Yuu! Your late-“ This professor stops midway, when he realizes, “You’re not yuu, you’re-“ He pulls you out of class, he’s shocked to find the actual ‘creator/overseer’ here, he don’t know how to introduce you, since everyone will immediately know you and instantly start bombarding you with questions, or others like malleus would instantly drop to his knees.

Professor crewel comes back into the classroom and seats you directly at his desk for temporary, trying to find a safe spot in the classroom to put you without you being overwhelmed or near the housewarden or vice housewardens as they can be a bit… obnoxious…

Azul ashengrotto being in the same class speaks out, “Professor Crewel, may I ask, why are you having Yuu sitting at your desk? Perhaps sudden favor?” Azul asks, hoping to try to rope his professor intoca contract soon but that idea crumbles when you swivel the comfy chair and Azul gets a glimpse of your face, all three hearts of his stops for a second, it can’t be? The creator/overseer is here?

With many insisting you sit with them, the poor professor opted to seat you at his desk…temporarily..

With that life in twisted wonderland started, other schools got word of you actually being here and not some vessel, now that the news of your presence announced and everyone going batshit insane for you, you decide to hide the pregnancy… will you be able to hide it for long though?

#twisted wonderland #sagau #reader insert #azul ashengrotto #twst grim #preggie #personal bullshit #twst #disney twst

[autisticlancemcclain]

Shiro is eternally grateful that his reputation precedes him.

Why is this?

Well. When people think of Shiro, they tend to say things like “oh, what a fine young man. Bright future ahead of him, that one. A good leader, as well.” (This isn’t Shiro being narcissistic. People genuinely say these things about him, and Shiro knows because Keith and Adam like to repeat them in a mocking voice.)

Shiro is not a fine young and mature man. Shiro is a mess.

Shiro still sees a difficult situation and thinks ‘oh, it’s okay, I just need to get an adult,’ even though he’s twenty-five. He thinks of vines and memes in response to serious situations. He practices special effect noises when he’s bored.

Shiro is not, by any means, the shining example of grace and maturity everyone believes him to be. His greatest accomplishment remains the time he realized he could screw a gatorade lid on a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and chug the whole thing in under a minute (yeah, yeah ‘best pilot to come out of the Garrison, Champion and Leader of Voltron,’ blah blah blah. The vodka thing is cooler).

When the Garrison asked him if he would pose for their recruitment poster as he was ‘the perfect product of all they hoped their cadets would be’, he excused himself to the bathroom under the guise of being ‘emotional’ and cry-laughed for twenty minutes. ‘Perfect product’ his ass — Shiro was the reason the Garrison had to install military-grade security cameras facing the staff parking lot because he’d spray-painted bright pink penises on the cars of the homophobic teachers. Not that they knew it was him, but. Point still stands.

All of this and more is why Shiro is exceedingly thankful that his reputation is made up of lies. This way, people are convinced he knows what he’s doing.

Voltron is the best example of this.

Look, he signed up to take care of one kid, okay? One. And he wasn’t even super excellent at that! The whole reason he signed up for the one kid in question is because the little delinquent stole his car, and Shiro found it kind of funny! Shiro doesn’t get how parents are supposed to say ‘no’ when a kid wants to do fun shit. Like, once, Keith casually brought up that one of his old foster brothers was super into demolitions and fireworks, and what was Shiro supposed to say? That he wasn’t interested? That’s cool as shit!

Does that make Keith’s tendency to be trigger happy and maybe a bit of an arsonist his fault? No!

Well, maybe a little. But Shiro likes to maintain that Keith was just born wanting to see things explode a little. The whole demotions thing was inevitable. Keith was going to be blowing shit up wether or not Shiro purchased explosive ingredients and took him on little desert excursions. Shiro just wanted to make sure Keith was safe in his endeavours!

Yeah, no, that one didn’t work on Adam either.

So what if Shiro is an enabler? He knows to refuse some things, now. Like when Pidge asked if she could hack the alarm system so that it blared fart noises in Lance’s room every hour, Shiro said no, even though he thought that was the funniest thing in the world and would have payed good amounts of money to see that.

Sometimes he just thinks about the concept of that prank and laughs.

Speaking of Pidge and Lance — Shiro did not, in any way, sign up to be in charge of four kids. Not only does he have to make sure these four kids don’t die just by being dumbass teenagers, but he also has to be their leader! In battle! It’s fuckin’ wild. And these kids in particular — they’re funny. He’s fucked! He’s so fucked. How is he supposed to be the level-headed and mature head of Voltron when Lance makes a comment during a Coalition meeting and it’s the funniest, most astute observation he’s ever heard? How’s he supposed to keep a straight face when Pidge pranks some stuck-up dignitary that Shiro also wanted to prank? How’s he supposed to not laugh when Hunk is being a dry smartass to whatever smarmy, shit-for-brains upstart who thinks they’re a little too important starts talking down to them? And how is he supposed to discipline Keith after he insults someone and does a really good job of it?

The whole situation is a nightmare. He’s only held on to his reputation by the thinnest thread imaginable, and he knows he’s gonna crack soon.

#shiro is a disaster #and i refuse to leave that in acknowledged #vld #voltron #shiro #takashi shirogane #broganes #adashi #kinda #fluff and humour #this is just shiro’s panicked monologue #my writing #fic fragment

[something-in-the-seas]

McDonald’s/Modern AU Part 1

You all really love this AU lmao so here’s more:

Heimdall is definitely that manager who talks a lot of shit and bitches about people underperforming and then does nothing. He’ll also usually stand around on his phone all day.

No one likes Heimdall, but no one hates Heimdall more than Heimdall hates Heimdall. There are times where he’ll go to the bathroom and cry when he thinks no one will hear him. Of course, whenever he tries to do this, Freyr hotboxes the bathroom.

Thrúd and Atreus are on vomit and pee-pee clean-up duty at the PlayPlace. Skjöldr and Angrboda are on bathroom duty. Skjöldr takes one little sniff in the men’s bathroom after Freyr hotboxes it and thinks he’s high. He later is on the drive-thru doing Kratos’ order and it’s a disaster.

Freya always orders a breakfast sandwich and a black coffee before heading to work (she’s a vet). She always without fail proceeds to tell Atreus that she knows it’s bad for her but she needs her caffeine. On Saturdays, though, her five-year-old grandson Forseti will be in the car and he must have a hash brown.

Baldur and Freya are estranged, though the birth of Forseti has kinda brought them back together. Baldur orders the same black coffee she always gets whenever he comes by.

Thrúd is seventeen, Atreus and Angrboda are fifteen, and Skjöldr is sixteen. Heimdall is, like, in his early twenties.

Atreus was home-schooled by Faye for the first ten-years of his life due to being a sickly child. He wasn’t the most popular kid in school, but the teachers always praised him for being a smart, respectful student. He graduates middle-school with full honors. Kratos has his report cards hanging up on the fridge with magnets.

Atreus is also a theatre kid. He stumbled into an audition accidentally and got the starring role as Romeo. He meets Angrboda through theatre as she’s on the art team and paints the sets.

Heimdall finds out about this and, of course, is like “okay well I played the best Romeo that school has ever seen so-“ and Atreus is like “okay well I don’t care-“

The only ones who laugh at Angrboda’s puns are Atreus, Freyr, and Kratos. She’s on the drive-thru, Birgir and Freyr pull up, and she goes “does Birgir want a burger?” Freyr thinks it’s the funniest shit in the world and laughs so hard he cries. Freyr and Birgir are the “he wants to order meme” incarnate.

Zeus shows up in the drive-thru with a different woman in the passenger seat each time. Atreus doesn’t really think that much about it until he accidentally reveals that information at a rare Olympus family reunion. He and Kratos awkwardly leave as Hera fucking loses it.

Hephaestus is, like, the only Olympian Kratos still talks to. Pandora sometimes stays with them during the summer.

The Olympians are corporate assholes and Kratos tanked their company. They’re back, though, sadly… they merged with some Italian corporation. Cousin Helios lost his job in the merger to Kratos’ brother Apollo, though, and he lives with them for now. Mimir fucking hates sharing the basement with him.

Helios was a classist asshole but he’s so depressed after losing his job that it’s kinda sad to watch. However, he calms down considerably after hotboxing the McDonald’s bathroom with Freyr. It is a life changing experience for him.

Brok always just shares the weirdest, vilest stories to Heimdall while waiting in the drive-thru. Heimdall is fucking baffled by this man.

#god of war #god of war ragnarök #god of war spoilers #McDonald’s au #atreus #angrboda #thrud gow #heimdall gow #kratos #freyr gow #freya gow

[tastymarbar]

this game is so mean to Luke actually it's unreal so I made a meme to cope

(spoilery ramblings about that under the cut)

ok so first off Luke basically witnesses Layton's "death", sure it ended up not being true but that is still so fucking traumatic for a 13-year-old to go through, and then much later at the storyteller's tower Luke for a split moment thinks he lost him again and idk man that's scary.

(Also the fact he tries to stay strong in front of Phoenix and believing the spell could be reversed or that Layton could be alive but when reunited he admits he was sure and actually SOBS i'm-)

(also also umm uhhh they just bring the gold statue of Layton into the fucking court and he just??? yells????? also the motherfucker pawning his arm I am so-)

(Luke was also slamming his hands onto the witness stand so hard so much I am a little concerned sir please take care of yourself)

AND THEN THERE IS THE FACT THAT HE BARELY FUCKING SLEEPS???? LIKE I WENT AHEAD AND MADE LIKE A MINI TIMELINE AND

the gang are stuck in labyrinthia for about 5 days and 4 nights (the final trial ends with the sun coming up)

how much does Luke sleep you ask? about maybe like half a night.

night 1 he is helping Phoenix defend Espella and then helping Maya find Eve that same night, the sun is up by the time they find her.

night 2 is when Layton got golden statue'd and spent all night crying and (presumingly) didn't get a wink of sleep.

night 3 is when the chapter 4 ends and 5 starts, there is investigation dialogue at the market where Luke says it is dinner time. Phoenix spends an unknown amount of time trying and failing to sleep so he goes talking to Rouge, which Luke eaves drops so he most likely did not sleep much either. He finally fucking sleeps after that though

(and later says "I'm recharged and ready to get started, Mr Wright!" that morning. I don't believe this.)

night 4 he is with Layton investigating the storyteller's tower and later with Layton at the court.

his 13-year-old ass did not sleep well Jesus Christ.

#mar does a meme #professor layton #professor layton vs phoenix wright #luke triton #layton games are vaguely mean to luke to varying degrees (with azran legacy being the most mean imo) #but the crossover takes it to a whole 'nother level goddamn #capcom rlly said ''nah child needs more trauma'' #my boy has gotten so much hurt please give him the comfort