On Call | On Call
part ii
summary: sometimes, frankie wonders what he'd do without you. without your help, your laughter, your friendship, the lunches you pack him.
and sometimes, when he's alone, he wonders what he'd do with you.
pairing: neighbour!frankie x f!babysitter!reader
ratings/warnings: 18+, MDNI. idiots in love, reader is good with kids. reader and frankie are both bi and have same sex exes. if that’s a problem for you, keep scrolling. fluff, plenty smutty thoughts, f&m masturbation. mentions of grief/dead parent, heartbreak, and biphobia/homophobia. brief competency kink, makin' a man some lunch (in a neighbourly way). drinking.
reader is a teacher, has hair, and there are some descriptions of outfits, but she is otherwise a blank slate :)
wc: 13.1k (normal length fic, my ass)
an: eternal love to @schnarfer for being a constant guiding light and the most wonderful friend. and further eternal love to @din-jarring and @toomanytookas who each make every day a little sunnier.
dividers from the glorious @saradika-graphics
She said call me now baby and I'd come a running
If you'd call me now baby I'd come running
- on call, kings of leon
series masterlist | main masterlist
When Frankie gets home Thursday night, weeks later, you’re working at his dining table.
He checks his watch as he closes the front door gently behind him, looking back at the glimpse of you in the kitchen, brows furrowed. It’s late. Surely you should be in front of the TV, fighting sleep.
His footsteps are quiet down the hall, and he pauses in the doorway. You glance up at his soft hey, and he can feel how tired you are.
‘Hey, buddy.’
Your smile is quiet, kind. You watch as he moves to the sink, collecting two glasses, filling them with water.
‘How’d it go?’
You say it at the same time, and it breaks some of the stillness, both pairs of lips lifting in mirrored grins.
‘Good,’ he says, ‘Glad to be home.’
He moves closer and takes a sip from his water, placing yours next to you, gesturing for you to go next.
‘Fine. Totally fine. She was out like a light after the second read. Best kid ever.’
You take a gulp of your water as he raises his eyebrows.
‘Second?’
Mhm.
‘I usually have to do at least four.’
You giggle, fluttering your fingers at him.
‘Magic touch,’ you whisper, ‘Plenty of practice reading kids to sleep.’
He shakes his head at you.
‘That’s not true.’
‘Mm. I’m sure my ninth graders would disagree.’
Frankie rolls his eyes, sitting down heavily next to you. He rubs his face, huffs a deep yawn as he slouches further down into the seat. You try not to stare, but he just looks so soft. You want to wrap him up in a blanket and lead him up to bed. Lay him down and press kisses to his cheeks.
‘She drew this,’ you say, pulling out a sheet of paper from beneath your piles of books. ‘Personally, I think it’s a good likeness.’
He laughs, properly, as he takes in the flourish of crayon across the page. It’s obvious where you’ve helped her - sketching the outlines of people, houses - and obvious where she took over - a mess of scribbles, rainbows of colour. The two houses, the fence, him and Lucia - Papi and me - and then the colourful tangle of you next door - Bug.
He traces the lines with his finger, gaze softening, heart swelling in his chest.
‘She hold you up, doing this?’
You smile at him, shaking your head. You fumble below the books again, pulling out a second sheet.
‘No. Looked so cute I drew one myself.’
You watch Frankie’s eyes light as he takes in your drawing. His and Lucia’s curls, the books under your arm, the oversized caterpillar in the grass. A tidier version of Lucia’s, one where you’re stood closer together. Like a family.
He bites his lip, a sparkling swell of joy flooding his chest.
‘Masterpiece.’ He says. You shake your head at him, bashful. ‘Wanna put it on my fridge.’
You scoff at him.
‘Put Luc’s on the fridge.’
He holds your drawing away from you, pushing Luc’s over your papers.
‘Put Luc’s on your fridge,’ he says, ‘And I’ll keep this one. Deal?’
You suck your teeth, grinning.
‘Deal.’
He stands from the table, moving further into the kitchen. When he reaches the fridge, he takes an alligator magnet and pins your drawing to the metal. He steps back, folding his arms. You watch him.
‘Perfect.’ He says. You giggle.
‘You’re a soft bastard, Frankie Morales.’
He laughs, turning back to face you.
‘Don’t tell anyone.’
You hold out your pinky, and he links it with his.
‘Promise.’
The heat from his hand, so close to yours, is almost irresistible. Your chest heats, and you want to pull him closer, see if he’s that warm everywhere.
You drop his hand, standing on heavy legs. Your I should get going is muffled through a yawn, and he nods, helping you to gather your things. When you’re ready, he follows you to the door.
This time, he pulls you into his chest. And he is warm, warm all over, and you could sleep here, suddenly, wrapped in his arms.
‘Goodnight, baby.’ he says, as you step out of his house.
He’s warm, and he’s so sweet. Baby, baby, baby running through your head as you make your way across the grass, smiling to yourself, still smiling when you turn on your porch, facing him stood on his own. Half of his body dimly lit by the glow within his house, shadows across his face as he makes sure you unlock the door and turn the light on safely. You raise an arm to him, and he does the same. You turn it into a flash of your middle finger, and he does the same - grinning to himself at the sound of your giggle across the lawn, cut off only as you close your door behind you. Goodnight, baby.
It still echoes in your mind as you’re pulled from the silken depths of sleep on Saturday morning by the whirring of a lawn mower. You huff, grumble, roll onto your back and press your forearm against your eyes. You have no idea what time it is, but you know for sure that it is too early for whatever this shit is.
Through the dim light behind your arm, you grimace. Your toes are a little cold, body achy like it needs to be stretched out. All fixed with more time spent asleep, except the buzz from outside comes louder now, more incessant. You roll yourself sideways, squinting in the sharper light coming from the window, mumbling to yourself as you sit and push up off the mattress. When you shuffle to the window and pull the curtain aside, you’re surprised. Frankie is up and out already - his front lawn cut into neat stripes - and now he’s gliding up and down yours doing the same. T-shirt clinging to his body, arms and neck shining with sweat. Cap on to keep the sun from his eyes, the curls at the base of his neck damp and dripping. He’s a sight.
And there’s something about the way he does it, how easy he makes it look. The stripes, the handling of the machine. How he changes the oil of your car, how he can change the tire on his. The way he drives, hand at your headrest when reversing. How he lifts Lucia, how he chops and slices while cooking. So goddamn easy, brow barely even knotted, just his thick fingers working through any problem they come across.
Heat stirs in your cunt.
It’s not that you haven’t thought about it. Him. It’s just that doing so feels… weird. You try not to have detailed fantasies about your best friend next door, feeling disingenuous when you call your good mornings, but certain flashes of thoughts just aren’t so easy to ignore. Stupid ones, like licking his skin when he’s covered in grease, him eating you out over the bed of your truck. Stupid ones like him knocking on your door when he’s done with the grass, coming in to find you reaching for something at the perfect angle in a little summer dress. Thoughts like him bending you over the counter and fucking you stupid, sweat mixing on your skin, the smell of grass flooding your head, tits bouncing in his hands.
Idle thoughts.
Ones that have you flopped back onto your bed, legs spread, one hand between your slick folds as you work yourself. Moaning and gasping into the heat of the morning, brief flashes of Frankie bursting behind your eyelids. The glimpse of skin and coarse hair you’ve seen when he reaches up to lift something, the shy look he gives you from below his lashes. How soft his mouth looks - what it would feel like on yours, what it would feel like to have him whisper against your thighs right now, telling you how pretty you look, watching your hands before he catches them in his and replaces them with his tongue.
It doesn’t take long before you’re cresting in an easy, all-consuming orgasm. Your back arches against the mattress, eyes squeezing shut as your cunt flutters and pulses, fresh slick gushing from between your fingers. Your thighs twitch as your circles ease, heart beat slowing in its thrumming as you swallow and pant. The mower is still whirring outside. He must be nearly done.
Frankie cuts the machine as he trims the very last patch of your grass to a lighter shade of green.
He peels his shirt away from his skin, flapping it in an effort to cool down. The cap comes off next, one hand swiped across his forehead, the other running air through his damp curls.
It’s warm. Unseasonably warm, and if he had any sense he wouldn’t have cut any grass today. But this Saturday suited him, and once he’s done his lawn, he may as well do yours. You don’t accept nearly as much as you should for looking after Lucia, so he’s taken to sneaking in more favours when he can. An oil change, lightbulbs you can’t reach, an Ikea chair you couldn’t find the time to set up. He knows you’ve noticed. Scowling slightly at how you can’t say no, quick to find a way to repay him. It’s become a welcome game of tag over the last six weeks. You won’t be outdone. In fact, if Frankie was a betting man -
‘Gotcha something.’
When he turns his gaze from the street, squinting slightly, he finds you bounding towards him. Barefoot, glowing with the remnants of sleep, and fucking poured into the most sinful sundress he’s ever seen. Like a teenager, he feels his cock twitch in his jeans, and he scolds himself for it.
‘It’s hot out.’ You grin, holding out a tall glass of something clinking with ice. His own answering smile speaks something of his relief, his gratitude.
‘Sure is.’
He takes the glass from you, giving it a sniff. You roll your eyes.
‘It’s lemonade. I’m not trying to poison you.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Yet, anyway.’
He nods, as though you’ve confirmed what he’s long suspected.
‘’S the thought that counts. I don’t get a straw?’
You smack his bicep with the back of your hand as he takes a sip.
‘Dick,’ you grin, ‘I’ll piss in it next time.’
Frankie’s eyebrows shoot up, but he manages to swallow without spluttering it all over you. He considers for a moment, clearing his throat.
‘Nice piss.’
Your mouth pops open, feigning disgust.
‘I said next time, freak.’
He laughs, flashing you a cheesy wink.
‘You love it really.’
You giggle, spinning on your toes like a schoolgirl. He laughs with you, sipping the lemonade, eyes crinkly and affectionate, tracing your lips, the hem of your skirt.
You look up and down the lawn, impressed with his craft. Quiet satisfaction blooms in Frankie’s gut.
‘Looks great,’ you say, pressing his arm. ‘Thank you. You know, you don’t have to do this.’
He shrugs.
‘Was out here anyway. Just helping my favourite neighbour.’
You chuckle.
‘Whatever. But you still don’t have to.’
‘Fine,’ he says, pulling a face. ‘I’ll never, ever do it again. I’ll leave you to mow your own lawn, build your own furniture, set your car on fire…’
‘I’m not that bad,’ you laugh, giddy as you step around him.
‘Bug,’ he says, fixing you in place with a firm hand on each of your shoulders. ‘Baby. I’m not convinced you even know what a wrench is.’
You gasp, genuinely offended this time, and he laughs.
‘Of course I know what a fucking wrench is, asshole. I’ll give you a fucking wrench.’
He laughs harder, and you reach up to swipe his sweaty cap from his head. Before he can grab at it, you’re off, flying in circles across the lawn. He sets his glass down and chases after you, hands slipping through the fabric of your dress. He’s not looking at the plush flesh of your thighs revealed at each stride. Not noticing the way your chest moves, definitely doesn’t see a peek of your ass as you whirl in front of him. He doesn’t, he didn’t, he didn’t. Certainly not on purpose.
He blames the heat, his earlier exertion for why he can’t catch you. Can’t even try to grab you when you zoom by and scoop up his empty glass, when you round the curve of his fence and wait for him to follow you. He’s barely jogging now, drenched in sweat, breathing heavily. He’s almost at you, cap almost within reach, and then you plant the hand with it in on one of the pickets of the fence, jump, and swing your legs over.
‘That is playing so fucking dirty!’ He pouts, and you cackle at him.
If there’s one thing you’ve mastered over the last year, it’s hopping the dividing fence. If there's one thing Frankie swears he will not do, it’s swing himself over. Something about his joints, something about his back. Yada, yada as far as you’re concerned.
‘What’d they teach you in Delta Force?’ You tease, ‘Surely it can’t have been any harder than that.’
He flips you off, hands on his knees.
‘You learn to do that in college? How many fences were you jumping?’
You throw his cap to him, waggling your eyebrows.
‘Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.’
‘Weather boy?’ He wheezes, shaking his head. ‘Not even gonna ask. Christ, you make me feel old.’
You snicker at him again, hopping from foot to foot. He holds out his empty hand.
‘Good game.’
You step forwards, full of faux-graciousness. You take his hand, opening your mouth to snipe something back, but he’s pulling you in too fast for you to process.
And god, he’s wet. Slimy and gross and warm -
‘Get off me, Frankie!’ You howl, and he chuckles, nuzzling his soaked cheek against your forehead.
‘Come over for dinner tonight,’ he says as you squirm in his arms, ‘We’re making pizza.’
You jerk yourself free, and he lets you go, so fucking pleased with himself. You shake your limbs out, trying to erase the sweaty feeling of him.
‘Only if you have a shower first. You fucking stink, dude.’
He begins to back towards his house, and you do the same.
‘I’ll have a shower,’ he says, ‘If you bring a wrench.’
You snort at the bottom of your porch steps.
‘Fuck you, Fish. I ain’t bringing a wrench. And get your goddamn mower off my grass.’
He giggles, a boyish sound so unlike the burly man it comes from. It makes you giggle, too.
‘See you later, Bug.’
‘If you’re lucky, Morales!’
You never do produce a wrench, but Frankie is always thrilled by the other magic tricks you have up your sleeve. He looks forward to the surprise when he comes home from flying - whole Lego cities in his living room, wonky origami in the kitchen, hama beads you’ve dug up from God knows where. The hama beads, he decides, he could live without. He found one in his sock the other day.
He’s home from work earlier than he thought he'd be tonight. Lucia tucked up in bed, he’d tiptoed upstairs to crack her bedroom door open, watching the rise and fall of her back before stepping in and pressing a kiss to her plump, toasty cheek.
He’s just finishing making coffee when he glances across the kitchen to a mixing bowl that hadn’t been out this morning. Curious as the coffee brews, he moves closer to the pale blob inside, and pulls back the clingwrap. He sniffs the dough-like mass, but comes up empty for clues.
He pokes a finger into it, grimacing at the damp sponginess before covering it again and wiping the digit on his jeans. He pours the coffee, adding creamer and sugar, before shouting over his shoulder.
‘Bug,’ he calls, ‘Were you making bread today?’
‘What?’ he hears you answer from the living room, and he smiles as he carries the coffee through to you.
‘I said, were you making bread?’
You’re still where he left you, tucked up on the sofa. You reach for the mug he offers with greedy hands, and he laughs.
‘Bread?’ you ask, taking it, brow furrowing before the confusion clears and you beam up at him. ‘Oh! No. I made playdough.’
‘Made playdough?’ He says, plopping down beside you.
‘Hell yeah, baby. Easy as fuck. Do you know it’s edible?’
‘Edible? You feeding my daughter playdough?’
You roll your eyes.
‘Obviously not. You’re a regular comedian, you know that?’
He chuckles into his coffee, blowing at the steam.
‘Did she eat it anyway?’
‘Not while I was looking.’
He hums at your answer, swinging your legs onto his lap and squeezing your calf.
‘What you watching?’ he asks. You shrug.
‘Some movie. This guy’s a detective tryna take down a drug ring. She,’ you say, flapping a pointed finger at the screen, ‘Is like, a burlesque dancer who’s actually an undercover agent, and he just found out. He’s feeling some type of way about it because he thought he was saving her from some kind of terrible fate, but it turns out she’s totally fine and is actually saving his ass.’
Frankie grins at you, and when you turn your head and catch his eye, you grin back.
‘What?’
‘Nothin’.’
You snort at him. He turns his attention back to the TV.
‘What’s the deal with the monkey?’
You jiggle your legs in his lap in excitement.
‘Oh! You’ll love this. He’s the gang leader. Everyone understands what he’s saying apart from the detective and this one guy who thinks he’s having the worst trip of his life.’
He belly laughs this time, tipping his head against the back of the couch, and you watch, eyes sparkling, as the hoots of laughter leave his mouth. You lean forward and smack his arm, giggling too.
‘Shh, you’ll wake Luc up.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he splutters, still snickering, ‘I’m sorry. Oh my god. If there was ever a movie written for you, it’d be this one.’
You gasp.
‘I know. It’s insane. And the soundtrack is amazing. So many cool songs. And -’ you pause, waiting for the actress to pop back up on screen, ‘She wrote some for it. Can’t remember what her name is right now, but she’s in a band in real life.’
Frankie watches as the woman welcomes the detective into her dark apartment - pin boards full of pictures and maps, a wall that falls away to reveal all kinds of hidden weapons. She turns to face the other actor, and Frankie cocks his head.
‘She kinda looks like you,’ he says, and you make a noncommittal noise. ‘Sure you don’t have a long-lost sister?’
You chuckle, and the camera pans back to the man.
‘I don’t think so. But he looks like you. Just - maybe… a few years older.’
He drops his jaw, staring at you.
‘Just a few?’
You snort.
‘Yeah, Fish. Don’t worry. Old age comes for us all.’
He makes a hurt noise, fingers scrabbling for the bottom of your feet, and you shriek, holding your coffee far away from you as he tickles.
‘Stop!’ you cry, ‘Stop! Okay, I’m sorry! You’re so much younger than him. You barely even look thirty.’
‘Barely - even - thirty -’ he laughs, wrestling with you as he tries to stop from spilling his own drink. ‘Not only did you call me old, you’re a liar, too.’ he stops only briefly to put his coffee down, and you manage to do the same before he launches at you with renewed vigour. His hands are all over you now, finding any sensitive spot he can. You grab and dig your nails into his arms, kicking your legs against his lap, planting a foot against his belly to hold him away.
You speak only in squeaks, hacking coughs and muffled laughter. There’s a pressure building in your bladder, and it only makes your movements more desperate, more uncoordinated. You’re begging, pleading, almost in tears through your yelping, and then your heel digs lower than it should. Frankie’s movements cease as he doubles over your legs, grunting out a pained noise as you whip your feet away from him.
‘My - fuckin’ - balls.’ He gasps.
You try to suck your laughter back through your teeth, but it’s futile. You lean forwards towards him, your palm firm on his back.
‘I’m sorry,’ you wheeze, ‘God, I really - I swear I didn’t mean to do that.’
‘Oh, fuck off,’ he groans, cradling his crotch, ‘There was feeling behind it.’
You snort, pulling his shoulder back so he relaxes into the couch.
‘Come on. It was barely a tap. Lucia could still have a brother or sister.’
He groans anew.
‘I’m in no fit shape for any of that now.’
You giggle and pout at him.
‘Aw. Want me to kiss it better?’
The flush that reddens Frankie’s face is almost immediate, the same heat flashing through your cheeks. Your mouth works to find some kind of joke, something to take it back with, but you flounder.
‘Keep dreamin’, bug.’
A ha! escapes your lips, and Frankie manages a bashful smile, a shake of his head. But your heart is lumbering in your chest, stomach gooey, and the tips of his ears are glowing.
He’s not thinking about it. He’s not.
And neither are you.
So he says something stupid about the monkey, and you say something stupid back. Layers on layers of silliness until the giggles return and the nerves are tucked away.
You love this kid. You really do. But it’s been a shitty fucking day.
You’ve not cried in the staff toilets since your training, but today every vibe was off, as the kids say. You’d been about ready to head home, forget about any work you needed to do, pull on your pyjamas and crawl into bed. Instead, you’re trying to blink back stupid tears on your way to the elementary school across town.
You’re not mad at Frankie, not even upset. When he’d called to say there’d been a fire at work and he needed to stay to provide first aid, your stomach had dropped through the floor. Your are you okay? felt clumsy, rushed, pushed against his panicked panting through the line. But he was just as quick to reassure you - he wasn’t even close, but one guy had burns and they might need him to cover the last flight out.
And it wasn’t a problem - isn’t a problem. You love spending time with Lucia, want to be as much help as possible, but man. You just wish it wasn’t today.
When you pull up to the school gates, Lucia is waiting for you. Her tiny backpack clutched in her fists, bright smile as she chatters away to her teacher stood beside her. Miss Lopez, Frankie had texted you, just in case.
The car door is barely open before the curly-haired whirlwind is launching herself in your direction with an excited squeal, crashing into your legs. You laugh, squeezing her shoulders before dropping down to her level.
‘Hey, baby bean!’
‘Papi said you’d come!’ She beams as you stroke her hair back from her face.
‘He sure did. You gonna come and hang out with me ‘til he gets home?’
She nods like her head’s on springs, and over her shoulder you look to Miss Lopez. She has the sweetest face, a lovely smile. You straighten out and offer her your hand. She takes it, palm soft and dry.
‘Sorry I’m late.’ You offer, and she shakes her head.
‘Not at all. You must be Mrs Morales.’ She says.
You choke on a laugh.
‘Oh - I - I’m not, actually. Family friend.’
Miss Lopez claps a hand to her forehead, grimacing.
‘Of course,’ she says, ‘The office did tell me. I’m so sorry. It’s just been one of those days.’
You chuckle, feeling Luc link her fingers with yours.
‘I know the feeling.’ You smile, and she smiles back. Miss Lopez crouches to Luc's level and gives her a gentle boop on the nose.
‘Be good, be safe.’ She says, and Lucia giggles, starting to pull you back to your car. Her teacher waves to you. ‘See you soon!’
You make sure to return it, ushering Luc to the car.
When she’s buckled in, she gently tugs the chain of your necklace.
‘I missed you.’ She says, eyes wide and earnest. Heat pricks behind your eyes again.
‘Missed you too, bean.’
It’s been a shitty fucking day, so you make cookies.
It’s easy to do, and mostly for you, but Luc is fucking delighted. You make sure to dig out her little chef’s hat, and she whizzes around the lower cupboards grabbing a mixing bowl for you. She loves it, more than anything. She’s a star with shaping, mixing, tasting. On the same page as you about eating the dough, and very content to sit by the oven door to watch them melt and bake in front of her. Easy entertainment, and she’s in your sights as you grade your essays at Frankie's kitchen table.
You know you’re not being fun. Not mustering the same kind of sunshine you usually do so effortlessly for her, not that she seems to notice. You try to keep a smile going when the cookies are done, packing a small box of them into your bag and eating two each before dinner. She might not finish the whole meal, but she looks at you like you hung the moon.
When you settle down to watch Frozen again later, her head starts to bob half an hour in. You let her fall asleep cuddled up next to you, and when another half hour passes, you extract yourself, gather her tiny body in your arms, and carry her to bed.
You set her down gently, pull the covers up to her chin, and watch her snuggle down in the blankets, nuzzling into their softness. You feel so weak, so goddamn tired, so disappointed in yourself for not playing like you usually do, for not encouraging her to sing and dance with you, for not reading her her usual bedtime story. It’s important for development at her age, a nasty little voice reminds you, and it just feels like something else you’ve failed at.
You swallow the lump in your throat, turn on her nightlight, and lean down to kiss her cheek. Her skin is so warm, so soft. You gently swipe the curls from her face.
‘Night night, little love.’
You’re still marking your essays when Frankie comes home.
You know you shouldn’t be. You know you should have curled up on the sofa or in the guest room like he’s told you to before. Know you should be asleep, barely managing to keep your eyes open, but you feel so fucking miserable, and you’ll be damned if Frankie comes home to you crying wrapped in his duvet.
Your coffee is cold, and a sip of its chill only serves to spark irritation in your stomach. You begin gulping it down, wishing it gone, before spilling some on the sheet of paper in front of you. You curse quietly just as you hear his keys in the door, dabbing at the blotch on the page as he toes off his boots in the hall. Your pressing only seems to be making it worse, little flakes of paper coming off on your sleeve as he enters the kitchen.
‘Hey,’ he says quietly, ‘I thought you’d be asleep.’
You give up, leaning back in your chair to look at him.
‘How’d it go?’ You ask, throat tight.
He shrugs.
‘Okay. Dylan has some burns and Eddie is pretty shaken up, but they’ll both be okay. Ended up taking Dylan’s last flight.’
You take a deep breath.
‘I’m sorry, Fish.’
‘Why? You didn’t set fire to it.’
You know it’s one of his usual quips. You know he’s not trying to be smart, not trying to rile you up. But you can feel it happening, all the same.
‘Are you okay?’
He looks at you, assessing. It’s not like you to not snipe something back, not like you to not take the joke further.
‘I’m fine. Just took me by surprise, that’s all. I’ve seen worse.’
You nod. He frowns. He doesn’t like it when you’re quiet.
‘Sorry I was gone so long.’
It hangs in the air for a moment. You clench your teeth, frustrated at yourself for the undeserved irritation.
‘You were at work. ‘S not a problem.’
He’s staring at you. You can feel it as you lean forwards again, pen in your hand. The words in front of you blur.
‘Whatcha reading?’
You should go. You should really pack up before this ridiculous anger bubbles over. It’s not Frankie who deserves it, not the kids who deserve it. You should sleep on it, get some perspective. Fuck, do some mindfulness or something.
Frankie drums his fingers on the wood when you make no reply, and you glower at him as he moves around the table, eyes fixed on your pile of marked essays. He thumbs the corners, and you bristle.
‘Oof,’ he says, picking up the last paper you graded. ‘F for Fail?’
‘No,’ you bite, ‘F for fuck off, Frankie.’
His eyes flick to yours, surprised, and he’s greeted with a wall of fury which he’s never seen before. It shocks him enough to put him on the back foot. Show his belly. He whistles lowly, dropping the paper back onto the pile, and is rewarded with something akin to the gnashing of teeth. The pieces slot together in his head. The bags under your eyes. How short you’re being.
‘Okay,’ he says, ‘I think that’s enough for tonight.’
‘Don’t patronise me.’ You hiss, and it’s like you’re an open book for him to read. The flame in your stomach roars to life at the look he gives you. You need to take a nap.
He pulls the rest of the papers away from you, and you try to claw them back, outraged. He grabs your hands, holding them away from your work, and your wrists twist in his grip.
‘Frankie,’ you seethe, ‘Let me go. I’m not fucking around.’
But he doesn’t. He’s seen you worked up before, knows you better than you think. Knows this isn’t just the result of a few bad essays, knows this is because of something more. Knows how to make you feel better. ‘Francisco Morales,’ you start, ‘Get your fucking hands off me -’
He tightens his fingers again and tugs you up off the chair. It squeaks across the floor as you stand. Something about your attitude sparks a flame south of Frankie’s stomach, and he swallows sharply. Nothing a good hard fuck couldn’t fix, and he blinks at himself, surprised. He drops your hands. Where the fuck did that come from?
‘Get off -’ you growl, and he points at you.
‘Sit your ass on the couch. I’ll be there in a minute.’
You set your jaw and glare at him, and he raises an eyebrow. He watches as your mouth twists into a scowl before you turn on your heel and stomp through to the living room.
He takes his cap off, scrubbing a hand through his hair and exhaling through his nose before adjusting himself in his jeans. He tidies your papers, puts pens and markers back into your pencil case, closes your laptop, packs your bag. Moves to the cupboard for two mugs, busying himself with tea and coffee as he tries to push thoughts of your furious eyes from his mind. How he could kiss the frown from your forehead, the scowl from your lips, how he could take you apart with his mouth, his cock, make you forget, make you feel better -
When he steps into the living room, you’re sat with your back to him, crowded into a corner of the couch. He places your tea on the table behind you, and his coffee on the other at his end. He lowers himself onto the cushions, relaxing against the leather, watching you. Your shoulders are almost up to your ears, fingers picking at the skin around your nails, eyes on your lap. He waits, chewing his cheek, hands twitching at the way your nails dig into skin.
‘I’m sorry for snapping at you.’
Your voice is small, quiet. He rubs his eyes and sighs.
‘It’s okay, baby. I know you didn’t mean it,’ he pauses. ‘I’m sorry for - manhandling you.’
You huff a breath through your nose, scratch at your knuckle. Frankie feels the worried pit in his stomach start to yawn.
‘Bug,’ he says, softly, ‘Talk to me.’
You wipe your hands over your thighs, and Frankie wonders whether it’s him. Something he’s said or done. He knows he’s not been looking hard enough for another sitter - maybe you’ve just had enough. His gut twists.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing - just. A bad day, is all.’
Too fast. He can feel his eyebrows lift.
‘Because of the tests?’
You shake your head.
‘All of it. The whole day was wrong.’
Frankie waits again, resisting the urge to move closer to you. You need a moment, though everything in his body wants you near right now. The scratching at your knuckle is incessant, and Frankie observes the movement with his own growing anxiety. You clear your throat.
‘All my lessons were shit. Everything was shit. I forgot reports and data drops, and the kids wouldn’t shut the fuck up, and I yelled at my favourite class, and almost everyone in my tenth grade group failed their assignment, and I just - couldn’t smile enough, wasn’t good enough for Lucia, and I’m so tired,’ you rush out, pressure building behind your eyes and at the back of your throat. ‘I’m tired, Frankie.’ You whisper.
He’s nodding, hands clasping and unclasping over his lap.
‘Bug, baby,’ he says, so gentle, ‘Please don’t worry about Luc. Don’t ever worry about not being good enough. You know she thinks the sun shines out your ass,’ he pauses, but there’s no giggle. ‘And I bet your lessons weren’t shit. You had a bad day - that’s all. That does not make them shit.’ He can see your head quirk minutely, hear the thought as though you’d spoken it aloud. Wrong. He keeps going. ‘And things get forgotten, but they’ll get done. Did anyone say anything?’
You shake your head.
‘No. Helen just said they need to be done as soon as possible.’
‘So no one was upset? No one yelled?’
You shake your head again.
‘So it’s fine. You won’t be the only one, bug. And kids never shut the fuck up. It’s annoying as fuck. You know how long I’d last in that classroom?’
‘Five minutes?’ You say, a tiny curl of amusement in your words.
‘Twenty fucking seconds. You’re a saint.’
He hears it, though faint. A small huh of a laugh. He continues, smiling a little.
‘And fuck the tenth graders. If they shut the fuck up, they’d have done it properly. They wouldn’t have fucked it up. They wouldn’t be making my best pal upset, here on my couch.’
You breathe out, shoulders sagging.
‘Maybe they found it hard, though. Maybe I didn’t do a good enough job of explaining it all -’
‘Ah,’ Frankie interrupts, ‘Maybe. But were they concentrating when you explained it? Or were they talking football teams and weekend plans?’
The scratching stops. Frankie counts the seconds by the tick of his heart beat as you pop your knuckles and sigh again. You still haven’t looked at him.
You suck air through your teeth.
‘Football teams and weekend plans. But they still - the results are awful, Frankie. They’re gonna think I can’t do my job.’
‘They’re not gonna think that. They’re not. This is one bad day, one bad result. You’re doing all you can. But you can only do so much, bug. Today was just not your day.’
Your body is vibrating with tension. You link your fingers together, watching the way the skin shifts between the joints.
‘It just - it wouldn’t be so hard if they fucking listened to me,’ you say, still quiet, but angry again now. Upset in a way that makes Frankie’s chest swell. ‘And then I get to thinking - maybe it is me. Maybe I’m just shit at my job and nobody’s bothered to tell me yet -’
‘Enough. You’re not doing this. Of course someone would have told you. Bug, they’re kids. They don’t even listen to their parents when they’re told to defrost the chicken when they get home from school. You’re not doing anything wrong.’
In the low light, Frankie can see you bite your lip, chin wobbling.
‘Hey,’ he says, softly. ‘Hey. Don’t cry. If anyone should be crying, it’s them. You’re doing your best. The least they could do is meet you halfway.’
‘But it’s my job, Frankie. And I care.’
‘I know you do, baby,’ he says, finally leaning forward, squeezing your thigh, ‘I know you do. So - what can we do? You’re tired. Lots of sleep. Long lie in on the weekend. But there’ll be lots of things you can do to turn things around. What can you do for tenth grade?’
You look up, finally. He gets a glimpse of your eyes, panicked, worried, before you turn them away again. You swallow, nod.
‘I guess I could… break it down for them. When I give their marks back. We could write an answer together. And Lucy showed me a really good feedback grid I can print for them all so they know what to work on.’
‘Good. That’s good. Make ‘em write it again?’
You twist your fingers.
‘Yeah. I guess so. There’s time. And they could do with the practice.’
Frankie squeezes your thigh again, stroking his thumb against your pants. You huff.
‘There. See? Already fixin’ it. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy.’
You quirk your head.
‘You’d think. More like - fuckin’ - difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.’
A slow smile spreads across his lips, despite himself. And when you look up, catch it, you fight to keep your mouth from doing the same.
‘You can laugh, bug,’ he says, ‘That was funny.’
A small giggle floats from between your lips, but it’s still watery. He can taste the salt in the air.
‘What else?’ he says.
You shake your head, retreating back into yourself again.
‘Bug?’
Your eyes are back down on your hands, fingers twisting, twisting, twisting.
Frankie holds his breath, heart aching in his chest. He can feel it radiating off of you, something deeper, painful.
‘I just - it made me think maybe I’m not cut out for it. Maybe I’m not as good as I hoped I’d be, and -’ you cut yourself off, throat tight. You swallow, and Frankie leans towards you. One of his huge hands reaches out to yours, and he gently pries his fingers between your palms, thumb stroking over your knuckles. The tears come without you realising, hot and quick, so many of them you’re startled. ‘And maybe - not as good as dad said I would be.’ You shrug again, wounded, vulnerable. Frankie shifts, the arm closest to you wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. Your voice catches, fear and guilt straining against sound. ‘That was the worst part. I felt like I was letting him down.’
‘Letting him down?’ He says into your hair. You feel his lips against your scalp as he speaks. ‘My god, bug. How could you ever think that?’ He squeezes you tighter, and you fight the sobs clawing up your throat. ‘Every day, you go in there and you kill it. No one in that school has ever said a bad thing against you. And you come home with notes, drawings, emails from kids and staff and parents who tell you that you’re making a difference. That you’re helping them learn, you’re making them feel safe, feel like they’re worth the time you give them. Do you know how special that is? Do you know how many of those kids come to you for that?’
A broken noise escapes your mouth, and Frankie begins to rock you gently.
‘I’m proud of you,’ he says, ‘And I know if I’m proud of you, your dad is watching you with his heart about to burst. You could never let him down. Look at you. You are so special.’
You hiccup against him, and Frankie nuzzles his face into your hair. Your tears are hot, damp through his t-shirt, but you can’t stop. You hold to his arms, breathing him in as holds you close. Your legs are going numb, head aching, and you don’t know how long you sit there like that with him holding you. He soothes you with quiet whispers, waves rushing in and out, and once your breathing is back to normal you pull away from him with a great sniff. You laugh at yourself, wiping at your face. He smiles gently back, little crow's feet ceasing the corners of his eyes.
‘You okay?’ He asks.
You nod.
‘Yeah. Just gross. Need to blow my nose.’
He shakes his head at you.
‘You’re never gross.’
You roll your eyes at him, and he chuckles.
‘There she is.’
You shift on the sofa, stretching and popping your joints before hauling yourself up to go to the bathroom.
‘Do you want anything?’ You ask shyly. He shakes his head.
‘Nope. Take your time.’
You shut the door quietly behind you in the bathroom, stepping to press your head against the cool tile. You try to empty your mind, but your chest is heavy. Everything that Frankie said, everything that was so easy to share with him. You’d thanked your lucky stars many a time over the last year that he’d bounded out his front door the evening you’d moved in, but now there was something more to it. You roll your head against the cool ceramic and press your fists to your chest. Your dad was a man who believed in fate, in things happening for a reason. Here, in the quiet calm of Frankie’s house, you have a feeling that he pulled some strings. That he knew who you’d need.
Lips almost pressed to the tile, you whisper to him.
‘Thanks, dad.’
The words hang in the air, slung out the universe, met with warm silence. Your throat tightens again, and if you close your eyes tight, you’d swear he was at your shoulder. Like you could turn around and he’d be there.
When the tightness passes, you inhale deeply and turn to the sink. You splash your face with cold water, blow your nose, and make your way back to Frankie.
He’s right where you left him, the TV on quietly. You flop down into your usual position, and he makes motions for you. You swing your legs onto his lap, and he runs his hands up your shins. Gentle, tender care again. You tip your head back and speak to the ceiling.
‘Thank you.’
He’s quiet for a moment.
‘You don’t need to thank me, bug.’
You make a noise of dissent.
‘You should know. You should know how much I appreciate you. How much I love you.’
You blink at the lights and shadows above you. How easily that slipped off your tongue. It’s never been difficult for you to tell your friends you love them. Hell, you even said it to the lady who served you at the store the other day. But something about saying it to Frankie feels… different.
Your breath gets caught in your chest, and then Frankie’s thumbs dig into the flesh of your calves.
‘Love you too, bug.’
You inflate your lungs at the same time as he kneads a particularly tense spot on your leg, and you loose a quiet groan. You’re not sure if you imagine the minute pause of Frankie’s hands before he thumbs the same spot again.
‘Fuck.’ You hiss.
This time, he does pause. He pauses and prays you don’t feel the way his cock twitched.
‘Does that hurt?’
You pull your head back up and find him watching you with dark eyes.
‘No,’ you say quietly, ‘Not really.’
He nods, studying your face at the next pass of his fingers. Your wince at the tension, but the relief that follows makes your eyes close. This time, he runs his knuckles over your muscles, and you bite your lip, eyes flickering open to meet his. You sigh.
‘That good?’ He asks.
You can’t say anything, nothing that wouldn’t betray the flood of warmth sparking in your cunt.
Mhm.
He nods, kneading further down your leg. Your head flops backwards again, lip clamped between your teeth, brow furrowed as you will your body not to betray you. You almost have it, almost, fingers flexing against the couch cushions, until he presses his thumbs into the arch of your foot and you moan. You fucking moan.
You freeze, teeth releasing your lip as you gasp, but he keeps going. Running his thumbs over and over the sore muscles as you let out quiet little gasps, squirming against the couch, soaking your panties.
‘Jesus Christ, Frankie.’
‘Relax,’ he says, ‘You’re fine.’
You are not fine. Every synapse in your body is firing, every nerve ending alight. You begin to panic, begin to wonder whether you could come from a foot massage alone. Your eyes find his face again, and he turns his head slowly to look back at you, digging firmly into a particularly sore spot. You whine, more pain than pleasure this time, and he presses harder. Hot hurt shoots up your spine, and you whip your foot away from him, breathing heavily. Like dawn breaking, Frankie’s face clears.
‘Fuck,’ he rasps, ‘Sorry, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?’
You wince, flexing your foot against the carpet.
‘’S okay,’ you murmur, trying not to pant, ‘Just a little too deep.’
You can’t look at him. You’re so sure that this man does everything from the good of his heart, with the express intention of making you feel better, but you can’t ignore how your body is buzzing. He can’t possibly know how turned on you are right now. Just a friend comforting a friend. Just a friend. Jesus Christ.
You glance at your watch and curse, all but leaping off the sofa. Frankie stares after you, panicked.
‘Bug -’
You whirl around to smile at him, realising just how wet you are with your thighs pressed together.
‘It’s fine. You didn’t hurt me. I should just - I should really get going.’
He hasn’t moved from the couch, hands crossed in his lap like he’s afraid to move.
‘I’m sorry.’ He whispers.
‘Don’t be,’ you say - too brightly, too quickly. ‘Don’t be. I - thank you. For everything. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
And you’re gone. Bag grabbed, barefoot, shoes in hand, flying out the front door, across your lawns, into your own house. Dumping the shoes and peeling off your clothes in the safety of your bedroom. You flick the bedside lamp on and yank open your bedside draw, rummaging around for your vibrator, pressing it to your throbbing clit before you’re even on your bed.
Your body jerks at the sensation, knees giving out as you moan, long and loud, free hand fisting the sheets as you rock back and forth on your hands and knees. Something clatters through your mind, something confusing and guilty, some mix of emotions that stirs in your chest and in your gut, something that tells you you shouldn’t be doing this - again. Shouldn’t be this close to coming already, shouldn’t be so wet, shouldn’t be shaking this hard. Shouldn’t be moaning so loud, so desperately, shouldn’t be thinking of the way Frankie’s dark eyes bored into yours, the way he worked his fingers over your sore muscles, how he’d held you there so you couldn’t escape. What he’d think of you dripping all over his couch from just touching you through clothes.
You tilt your ass up further, resting your forehead on your arm, feeling sweat gather on your hairline. In your mind, Frankie’s hands are climbing up further than they were before, kneading up your thighs, squeezing and rubbing, all the way until his thumb grazes the edge of your panties. You can imagine how his eyes would get darker as he felt the slick there, so wet it made the closest press of your thighs damp through the fabric. How you’d hold your breath and his gaze as he slipped two fingers beneath the gusset, how he’d sweep them through the wetness there, just spreading it, teasing, enjoying how wet and ready for him you were before slipping both digits inside, easy, so easy -
You clench your teeth against the cry that seeks to force its way past your lips, breath stuttering in your lungs as your body seizes and pulls, cunt clenching and pulsing with your orgasm. Your head slips off your forearm onto the sheets and you curse quietly, betrayed by how easy it had been to come.
You stand on shaky legs, turning the vibrator off with a click before leaving it on the duvet. You kneel and survey your room, the unread books, the pile of laundry, the freshly ironed shirt ready to wear tomorrow. The window across from you, bare of curtains, looking straight through to - fuck. For fuck’s sake.
Frankie’s bathroom light is on across the dark expanse of midnight grass. You freeze, naked, terrified for a moment that you will see him step into frame and catch you red handed. As if he’d know. As if he’d be able to tell, just from the look on your face, that you’d come so quickly, so easily, to the thought of him slipping his hand beneath your panties.
But he doesn’t. With an arm over your chest, you whip the curtains over the gaping glass, and get ready for bed.
Frankie can taste blood.
He barely even registers it, lip clamped between his teeth as he fists his dripping cock in the bathroom mirror.
He’d sat for a few minutes on the couch after you’d left, trying to will his arousal away, terrified you might have forgotten something and come flying back through the door. Terrified Lucia might be rattled awake and find him to ask what the noise was about.
When neither had happened, he’d unzipped his fly to relieve some of the aching pressure. He’d turned off the TV and all the lights, something swelling in his chest at the sight of the plate of cookies on the counter, piled high, and hauled his ass upstairs. The movement had made it worse.
The friction against his cock at every step of his tired feet made him ache fiercely, and he’d forgone his bed, heading straight to the en-suite, where he’d whipped his t-shirt off and pulled himself out.
He’s trying to be quiet. Trying so hard as he draws his fist over his tip, spreading the precum down his length, as he twists and tightens his hand. His heart is racing, body thrumming with desire. He’s trying not to think of them, but those sweet, desperate little sounds you made are flooding his mind. He’s fucked. So fucked.
And he’s weak.
Weak at the knees at the thought of you laid out on his couch. At the thought of his hands drifting higher, at maybe finding your panties soaked. With his eyes closed, he can imagine your face - shocked, desperate, aching for him the way he is for you. He’d swipe his fingers along your slick slit, and he’d taste them - fuck, he’d give anything to know what you taste like. And when you begged, he’d strip you down and spread you out. He’d lower himself between your legs and kiss every inch of skin he could find. He’d breathe in the scent of you, nose the crease between your thigh and cunt, and he’d eat you. He wants to know what other sounds you make as he takes you apart, wants to lick you from your hole to your clit. Wants to hold you down as you squirm, wants his fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet. And he wants to make you come. Wants to drink you down as he feels you twitch and pulse beneath him, and then he wants to fill you with his cock.
He tightens his fist again, barely muffling his groan. He wants to feel you stretched out, gasping as he pushes in. Wants to lean his forehead against yours as he whispers how beautiful you are, how good you’re being, letting him take care of you like this. Wants to see you cry for a different reason, wants to taste the salt on your skin and know it’s him who’s making you feel this good, that it’s only him who can fuck you like this.
Wants to make you his, wants to feel you come around him, watch your eyes roll into the back of your head -
He moans as he spills into his fist, cock kicking and jerking with every spurt of milky release that escapes him. Blood roars in his ears and he strokes himself until he whimpers at the sensitivity, panting hotly.
His mouth is bloody and raw in the glass, eyes wide and guilty. He turns from his reflection in shame, ripping toilet paper and cleaning himself gently, trying not to think of your hands, your mouth, how you might look with his spend leaking from between your legs.
He throws the paper in the toilet, tucking himself in and pushing the lever.
He turns after flushing the evidence of his fantasies away, and is fixed with the disapproving eyes of the Star Wars duck on the edge of the bathtub. He pulls a face at it and flips it off.
‘Don’t look at me like that. I bet you do it when she’s not watching, too.’ He says, pointing to the sparkly gold one beside it.
The duck glares back at him, accusatory, and he sticks his tongue out at it as he swings the door open, flicking off the light before stepping out. He closes the door firmly behind him, and leaves the ducks to their domestic.
Frankie snoozes his alarm the next morning, eyelids fluttering against his pillow as he wraps his arms around his tangle of duvet. He’s warm, limbs languid, still in the haze of a sweet dream, a familiar scent hiding behind the edges of sleep.
He’s almost passed out again when he jerks awake, adrenaline flashing through his veins as he stumbles out of bed and into Lucia’s room. She’s asleep still, groggy as he gently stirs her, mumbling into her teddy about not wanting to go to school. And despite his best efforts, they’re both sluggish, slow, running late as he dresses her and then himself, as he makes breakfast, as he packs her bag, as he reaches into the refrigerator to grab her lunch -
Shit. Her lunch.
He throws a frantic glance at the clock, muttering a fuck too quiet for his daughter to hear as she waits behind him with her shoes, ready for him to put them on. He turns and kneels in front of her, placing one foot on his thigh so he can finish getting her ready. He makes a calculation that includes stopping to get her something from the store on the way to school, but there’s just not enough time -
He whips the door open so quickly it startles you, your hand flying from where it was about to knock. Your stomach is churning, heat crawling up your spine with how fucking weird you must have been last night.
Frankie looks just as surprised to see you as you are him.
‘Bug?’ He says, paused in the doorway with Lucia hitched on his hip.
‘Bug!’ She crows, delighted with the early morning visit, oblivious to her father’s rush. You beam back at her, greeting her with a mornin’, mini Morales, before looking back at Frankie. Something in his chest goes gooey.
‘I made lunch for you both,’ you say shyly, quickly. Frankie’s eyes drop to the two bags you have held out. ‘I didn’t think you’d have time last night. And I wanted to apologise. I didn’t mean to give you shi- a hard time when you got home. And I’m sorry I ran out so fast.’
Frankie sucks a breath through his teeth, heart rate settling.
‘You’re a goddamn angel,’ he says, ‘You know that?’
You chuckle a little, looking down at your feet. His heart swoops, and he knows he shouldn’t, knows he won’t, but he wants to ask.
He wants to ask you why you flew out the way you did. Wants to know why your bedroom light was on so late. Wants to know if there’s some wild possibility you were caught up the same way he was. But he doesn’t.
Instead, he pulls you in for a one armed hug, and with all the gratefulness he can muster, says -
‘Thank you, baby. Luc, what do you say?’
Lucia grins at you with all her teeth.
‘Thank you, bug.’
You giggle.
‘I packed you extra cookies.’ You whisper conspiratorially, and Luc claps her tiny hands.
You smile up at her, and she reaches out for the bags. You make sure she’s got them handled before turning your smile to Frankie, and he’s sure his heart stops. There’s worry in your eyes still, and it takes everything in him to not swipe a thumb along your cheek, to not press the fullness of his mouth against yours.
‘We’re going to the beach on Sunday,’ he says, ‘Do you wanna come?’
Your smile brightens, widens. Relief washes over your features.
‘Please!’ Lucia joins, ‘Pleasecometothebeach - we're gonna build sand castles and bury Papi and swim and eat ice cream -’
Frankie clasps his hand over her mouth, and she cackles against it, legs swinging against his hip.
‘I’d love to.’ You say.
The beach is a raging success.
From the moment you’d felt the silky sand brushing between your toes, it was like the stress of the week had melted away.
Lucia had grabbed your hand as soon as Frankie had dropped the cooler in the best spot he could find, squealing and running all the way to the ocean with you beside her. Frankie had laughed as he ran to catch up, hitting the waves just after you, sweeping Lucia up in his arms as she shrieked with laughter, swooping her low so her toes swept through the water. You swam and paddled together for a while, Frankie only leaving to grab a ball so you could play piggy in the middle in the shallowest shallows.
Now, laid out on the blanket you’d brought, with the sun warming your skin, you close your eyes.
Everything feels slow - the tick of your heart, the carousel of your thoughts, the way you drag your fingers through the sand at your side. You’re drifting into the arms of sleep when there’s the soft snick-crack-fizz of a can beside you, and then you’re suddenly thirsty.
You peek through one eye at Frankie beside you, and like he feels it, his eyes flick to yours. He offers you the open soda before reaching into the cooler for another. You sit up, groaning a little, twisting to look for Lucia.
She’s still slumped on the sand throne you and Frankie had built her, now fast asleep. Legs planted, arms settled on the armrests like a stately little Lord. Her head tilted back, tiny sunglasses and flowery sun hat on. You can’t look at her for too long before you get the giggles, it’s so fucking cute.
Frankie follows your eyes, mouth lifting in amusement, raising his eyebrows at you.
‘We should take a picture. One for her 18th.’
You giggle, and he takes a sip of his drink before flopping down beside you. You take a long pull from your own can before doing the same, turning on your side to face him. Frankies fights to keep his gaze steady, something he’s been trying to do all day. Trying to avoid the skin that had been revealed to him today, trying to avoid how soft you look, how comfortable, how gorgeous. How your skin would taste, how it would feel against his. He closes his eyes.
You watch him. The strong sweep of his nose, the fullness of his mouth. The scruff of his beard, the bare heart-shaped patch before the line of his jaw. Your eyes sweep lower - the wide expanse of his chest, golden skin that seems to go on for miles and miles. It makes your mouth run dry.
It’s not like you haven’t seen him shirtless before in the hot Florida summer, but up this close, it’s different. The soft band of his belly, the smattering of hair above the waistband of his trunks. The silvery bud of a scar above his hip.
When you glance back to his face, he’s watching you. Your eyes dart down again.
‘Mexico,’ he says, ‘2016.’
You nod, and reach out your hand. Slowly, softly. Frankie holds his breath, stomach tensing.
You run the tip of your finger along the puckered edge of the scar, and he shudders. You pause, untacking your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
‘Does it hurt?’
‘No,’ he reassures, ‘Just - tickles.’
It’s a half truth.
It doesn’t hurt. It does tickle. And there’s a burst of heat beneath his skin where your fingers graze him.
‘Was it bad?’
He smiles slightly.
‘Just a scratch.’
You hum quietly, swiping your thumb against it tenderly. He watches you, mouth parted, heart burning. It doesn’t look like a scratch, but you’re not one to pry.
The moment is broken by a soft coo behind you, and Frankie’s eyes lift to it. You roll onto your back.
A woman flashes you and Frankie an apologetic smile.
‘Sorry,’ she says quietly, gesturing to Lucia, ‘She just looks so cute.’
You smile breathlessly, a little flustered. She’s gorgeous. So tan and smiley and stunning.
‘Gets all her looks from me.’ Frankie jokes, and you roll your eyes. The woman smiles.
‘I think you mean her mama.’ She says, nodding to you before continuing on her stroll. You’re still too taken aback to correct her, trying to loosen your tongue before Frankie takes any offence. He laughs beside you, and you roll back to him to apologise -
‘You are literally no better than a man.’
It’s not what you were expecting, and the shock of it makes you laugh, too. You land a soft punch to his arm, a grumbled shut up shot from where you bury your face in the sandy blanket.. But it feels good, the ease at which the jokes come.
To think, there’d been a night on your porch not long after you’d moved in when you’d mentioned the name Annie and clammed up, panicking about what questions would follow next. The name of your ex-girlfriend - ex-fiancee - had been something which only really existed in your mind at the time. Known, of course, to the friends you’d left back home; friends who had loved her, loved the two of you together. But soured by the reaction of your extended family, the people who had voiced their disgust at who you'd loved, who had been so quick to turn their backs in the face of your happiness, the first you’d found since your dad’s passing. It had made your stomach twist.
You’d been worried about Frankie’s reaction, couldn’t bear to think of the first friend you’d made - your neighbour - having the same look of distaste - or worse - intense curiosity.
But he’d done neither of those things. Had marked it with a quiet oh before asking what she was like, where she was, what had happened. You’d told him how you met in college but weren’t brave enough to ask her out until after graduation. How she was an engineer on the east coast - kind and funny and eager to watch you succeed.
You’d been sparing with the details about how it ended. The breakup had still been a raw nerve, something you had no real desire to discuss. Something which you only found to be the case more and more the longer you spent around Frankie. And then he gave you further reason to be less afraid of what he’d think, whether he had the want to judge.
‘Sounds like my ex,’ he’d said, ‘We were friends first, too. Benny.’
You’re snapped back to the present by Frankie rustling around in the cooler.
‘Have something to eat,’ he says, ‘You’re looking a little shaky.’
You’ve been asleep for most of the way home.
Hair blowing in the wind of the journey, cheek pressed against your shoulder. You look so peaceful, so beautiful, and something about this - the three of you in Frankie’s truck, Lucia babbling to herself in the back - feels so right.
He’s loathe to wake you. Wishes he could bottle this moment; the sand still clinging to your skin, Luc’s bright smile in the rearview mirror, but you stir all the same when he slows and pulls into his driveway.
You stretch your arms and yawn, smiling sleepily at him before twisting to look back at Lucia.
‘How you doing, bean?’ You ask.
‘You were asleep!’ She chirps back, and Frankie chuckles.
‘Sure was,’ you grin, ‘Can’t keep up with you.’
You insist on carrying the cooler into his house while Frankie unbuckles her. He holds her hand around the side of the car before she pulls free of him, clattering into the house after you in her sparkling sandals. She passes him in the hall, arms full of toys as she speeds back out to the grass out front, and you smirk at him around the doorway of the kitchen. He shakes his head at you.
‘I don’t know how she does it.’ He says. You grin.
‘She’s four. Give her a few more years.’
He chuckles as he swoops in behind you, pinning your body between his and the counter. He digs in the cooler as you close your eyes against his body heat.
‘Want a beer?’ He says against your neck before pulling away.
‘Thought you’d never ask.’
When you’re settled on his porch, Lucia mimicking the sounds of the dinosaurs she has splayed across the lawn, Frankie bumps your shoulder.
‘You should have asked for her number.’ He grins. You turn to him, still a little sleepy.
‘Whose?’
‘The woman. On the beach.’
You roll your eyes at him despite the heat rising in your cheeks.
‘They’ll get stuck like that, you know.’ He says.
You nudge him back, a little harder.
‘You should’ve asked,’ you chuckle. ‘Gets all her looks from me.’
He snorts.
‘Nah. I wasn’t even on the field. Think you mean her mama.’
‘Should have given her the old I’m the babysitter line.’
He laughs.
‘God. Imagine. Maybe that’s what I’ll have to tell the guys the next time they ask if I’m seeing someone.’
Your blood heats, a soft pounding in your ears. Imagine. Imagine.
You roll your head on your shoulders.
‘Are you?’ you ask tentatively, ‘Seeing anyone, I mean.’
Frankie shrugs beside you like it’s no big deal.
‘No,’ he says, ‘I kind of… swore that all off after Benny. Didn’t wanna go through it all again. Wasn’t good for me, wasn’t good for her,’ he says, gesturing towards where Lucia is playing on the grass. He’s quiet for a moment. ‘Just don’t think I’m cut out for it. Getting my heart broken again.’
You know how it ended - before it had really begun. A tentative feeling between friends; Frankie falling hard, Benny unsure about the new step. Caught up with the nerves you remember so well in the new turn of discovering himself, scared by the ripples caused within the tight knot of their group of friends. It had been hard on Frankie. Not made difficult by his brothers in arms, who, to all intents and purposes, had seen it coming - but because he was so clearly a man who loved hard. With all the goodness in his heart. It’s obvious in how he talks about him now, in how he talks about Lucia's mother. Love that lingers, that still sees the light.
You watch him as he speaks. The soft sunlight illuminating his curls, turning them golden, chocolate brown, little streaks of grey peaking through. His eyes are bright and flecked with hazel, his lips soft and full. When he talks, they are shaped with sound, with emotion. Expressive and beautiful, moving with the crinkles at his eyes, the frown lines on his forehead. Something pulls in your chest, and you reach out to hold his wrist just above his beer bottle. He squeezes your hand with his free one, and turns to look at you. So soft, so warm, eyes so kind and yet so sad sometimes it takes your breath away.
You can’t ever imagine breaking Frankie’s heart.
He licks his lips, eyes flitting to your parted mouth before resting back on yours.
‘Are you?’ He asks.
You breathe a laugh, something breathless in the sound. You retract your hand and look away from him, back to Lucia, watching her toddle around with her dinosaurs. He studies you, and it makes something spike at the back of your throat. You hate when he gets you like this; like he can see you better than anyone else ever has.
‘No,’ you say. When you look back at him, his brows curve in a furrow at the sight of your sparkling eyes. You offer him a small smile, take a deep breath. ‘Think I’m the same as you,’ you shrug, ‘Not built to get my heart broken again.’
Frankie dares an arm across your back, squeezing the shoulder furthest away from him. He pulls you into his chest, palm pressing your bicep in comforting sweeps.
‘I’m sorry.’ He says into your hair.
‘Don’t be,’ you reassure him, ‘I’m not - cut up about it like I was.’ You sniff and pull away from him a little to look in his eyes. ‘It just stays with you, like you said before. The hurt and the shock. Everything you had planned. I think it’s just… hard to remember you won’t have that. Hard to not have that future, hard to feel like you’re enough again.’ You smile softly, and he answers with his own. He knows, he understands. ‘Just… really thought I was gonna marry her,’ you whisper, looking down at your hands. ‘Day I asked her, every time I saw that ring on her finger, thought we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together. And it made me so… happy.’ Frankie swallows thickly beside you. The feeling of it, of what you’re telling him, so painful, so raw for both of you. ‘And when it happened, when it fell apart… it wasn’t big. She just told me - real kind, real patient about it - that she didn’t love me anymore.’ Frankie breathes deeply when he hears the catch in your voice, the sting of it.
Your eyes are on Lucia, but you’re so far away that it worries him. He wants you here, safe, having beers with him on his porch, giggling on the steps.
He can’t ever imagine breaking your heart.
You quirk your head, sighing. ‘Spent a long time tryna figure out what I did wrong, but there was never an answer,’ you shrug. ‘I’m glad she ended it, though. Despite it all. I’d have never forgiven her if she’d stayed.’
A strained hum pulls itself from Frankie’s throat as he watches you lean forward to pick at the grass by your feet. He clears his throat, studies your profile carefully.
‘Do you still love her?’ He asks, voice low and hoarse. He finds, to his surprise, that he’s terrified of the answer.
You frown, slowing your pulling.
‘No,’ you say. ‘I have love for her, but we don’t speak. I don’t want her in my life, but I wish her the best. I just found it… hard to rebuild.’
He thinks back to the day you moved in next door, the bright smile that he hadn’t realised didn’t quite reach your eyes, how you’d been a little thinner, looked so tired. How you’ve changed over the year since, so warm, so full of love and light and energy. How you tear around the lawn with Lucia, how you laugh at his kitchen table, how you fit into his side when you’re watching movies.
Something swoops in his gut, something so huge and unbalancing that his breath comes shallow, that his ears buzz and his vision blurs. A feeling that makes so much - too much - sense.
Fuck.
He swallows, closes his eyes.
When he turns to look at you again, it’s with a heart that knows - really knows. He sees everything you are, everything you’ve been, everything you will be. Knows you for all your good days and bad days, has seen you at all hours, could hold every piece of your fractured heart in his hands and meld it back together again if you let him.
Your eyes find his. He watches your brows raise a fraction at his expression, watches them push together in a question.
His mouth is dry, but he speaks.
‘You are,’ he says, ‘You are enough.’
Your eyes don’t leave his.There’s a pressure behind them, a pull in your gut, a skip of your heart. Something on the tip of your tongue.
Frankie’s eyes slip to your mouth. Your breath catches in your throat, and the world stills. The sounds of the evening, Lucia playing, fade to almost nothing.
If you tip your head, you think he might kiss you.
A small, wild ball of energy crashes into Frankie’s chest, and the moment slips through your fingers. Frankie lets out a quiet oof, wrapping his arms around his daughter. A giggle bubbles out of your mouth, and he grins at you, but his eyes linger. Lucia turns her tiny face up to him, and Frankie rolls his eyes goodnaturedly.
‘Whaddya want, mija?’
‘Strawberry laces.’ She whispers, and you both laugh.
‘Strawberry laces, what?’
‘Strawberry laces, please, Papi.’
‘Alright,’ he says, shifting her out of the clutch of his arms and onto the step beside you, ‘Sit tight, mi amor. I’ll be back in a minute.’
The front door isn’t even closed behind him before Lucia is crawling her way into your lap, wrapping her arms around you. You tuck your hands against her back, pulling away to look at her.
‘How’s it going, mini Morales?’
She beams up at you.
‘Good. The bugs are winning.’
‘Winning? Against who?’
‘The dinosaurs.’ She says, gravely. You nod, just as serious, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
‘That’s good. Bugs have a lot going for them.’
She leans back to consider you for a moment, her face scrunching up in the low lying sun.
‘Miss Lopez called you Mrs Morales the other day,’ she says, ‘Does that mean you and Papi are married now?’
Your heart lurches in your chest, head spinning a little. You laugh, disbelieving. From the mouths of babes.
‘No, baby,’ you say softly, and her face falls.
‘Why not?’
You can feel your heartbeat in your toes. You pray Frankie is struggling to find those strawberry laces.
‘We’re - we’re just friends, Luc. People who get married are usually a bit more than friends.’
Lucia frowns.
‘But you are more than friends,’ she insists, ‘You’re best friends. And you love each other.’
Jesus Christ. You squeak out a hm, trying to remain noncommittal. Lucia begins to fiddle with the charm on your necklace.
‘How do you get married?’
‘Well,’ you swallow, ‘Usually you have a big party. With lots of friends and family there. And you have to ask each other first.’
‘Have you been married?’
You wince. How is she doing it?
‘No, bean. I haven’t.’
She nods, thoughtful.
‘Neither has Papi. He could ask you.’
You choke out a laugh. Frankie’s eyes on yours, on your mouth. The moment caught in time.
Idle thoughts.
‘He could. But I don’t think he wants to.’
Her wide, brown eyes shoot to yours, hands stilling on the chain of your necklace. A feeling creeps up the back of your neck.
‘He does,’ she says quietly. ‘You’re his favourite person, apart from me. He told me s- Papi!’
She cuts herself off in an excitable screech, and you scrunch your face at it. Luc is wriggling in your lap, lips open wide in a toothy grin. Her hands reach out in fists as Frankie rounds your shoulder, the plastic packet of strawberry laces crinkling in his hand.
‘Open your hand,’ he says, and Lucia obeys, her fists flattening to palms face up. Frankie drops a small handful of the sweets onto them, and she dances on top of your thighs, shoving two in her mouth at once so she can chew them up like snakes disappearing between her teeth.
She flashes you another grin, red blended with white, and wriggles backwards, running off back to her dinosaurs.
Frankie settles next to you again, offering you the packet. You take it, fingers scrabbling for sugar as the two of you watch her. For a second, it’s like you’re a family. Like you can feel the weight of a ring on your finger, a ring that was supposed to be there some time in the last six months. You shake your head. A silly thought.
Frankie licks his fingers beside you, and you turn to watch him. The sound of the pop as he releases them from his mouth, the smile that dances across his lips as he watches Lucia, the crows feet at the corners of his eyes. An involuntary smile crawls across your own lips.
‘Got another favour you can do for me,’ you say, still chewing.
‘Hm?’
‘Sink’s a little leaky. Think you can take a look?’
You hold the packet of strawberry laces out to him, and he takes one, lowering it into his mouth. You giggle at the way his tongue curls around it. He grins back at you.
‘Sure can, baby. Luc is at a sleepover Friday night. That work for you?’
‘I think it might, Morales. I think it might.’
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