#so i hope whoever wishes to make one in the future finds something that works well for them!! i have a blast making storyboards/animatics!!

[rileyclaw]

Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at 💞💞

I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol

I'm sorry if you get this question a lot 😭

So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!

I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"

The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!

The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.

Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!

Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.

THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.

This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.

When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.

I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!

Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??

Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:

• Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!

• Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!

• Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!

• Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!

There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!

#riley talks #long post #SORRY ITS LONG but i couldnt just put a bulletin list like “this is the ONLY method that works” bc thats not true!!! #everyone works diferently especially artists #and this is just my specific method of working #im very fortunate to have programs that make animatic-making a little easier #so i hope whoever wishes to make one in the future finds something that works well for them!! i have a blast making storyboards/animatics!! #text post #ask #tutorial #idk how to tag this lol

[just-a-little-cellist]

Hey its me who asked for your The Unexpected Guest, and it was brilliant! I love the idea of part 2 it makes more sense!

I loved your idea of once they get to Rivendell Thorins and readers feelings are explored and some spicy stuff happens

Thank you, and love your work!☺️x

(I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'm really sorry for the wait for part 2 - uni work, work work and writer's block are not a great combo and I didn't want to rush this (this part also got WAY longer than I thought it would), plus I've made some minor edits to part 1 since I wasn't totally happy with it - been a hot minute since I wrote smut so I hope this is ok :D thank you all for being so patient and I hope you enjoy!!)

(link for part 1 - warning for NSFW content below, oral (m receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

ghivashel - treasure of all treasures, amralime - my love

An Unexpected Guest pt.2 (Thorin x AFAB!fem!human!reader)

The journey to Rivendell was taxing on all of you, though you couldn't help but feel most sorry for Bilbo. The hobbit was so new to adventuring - you doubted he had ever been out of the Shire before now - and you had decided to support him wherever you could as a helping hand. Just helping him set up camp, saddling his pony in the morning, offering him water, little gestures seemed to make a difference in his demeanor.

Spending time with the hobbit to keep his morale up, especially after the troll attack, did mean that it was getting harder to find a spare moment with Thorin. The two of you had spoken much more frequently since his confession, and you wished for more time, but the whole group was in poor spirits as it was. While they were all happy for you, public displays of affection were just likely to irritate everyone further. And Thorin's burden of leadership would likely not be eased while you were still on the road. For the moment, all you could do was keep moving and offer comfort to whoever needed it.

Needless to say, arriving at Rivendell was a weight off your shoulders. Even if the dwarves tried to pick a fight with Elrond.

You had all taken your time to settle in and relax, having taken full advantage of the elves' hospitality (and you were forever grateful for being able to feel clean after the long journey). When the group of you were provided with dinner and the inevitable food fight broke out, you were happy to see how everyone's spirits had been lifted. However, you couldn't help but notice your One stood to the side. There was a content smile on his face, but you could easily see the tension that still bristled through him.

You soon found him after everybody had retreated to their rooms for the night. It was hard not to hear him - the pacing in his room seemed to echo through the hallway, if only slightly. Raising your hand, you softly knocked at the door, hoping that he wouldn't be too stubborn to talk to you.

"Come in."

Even his tone of voice betrayed his stress. He visibly relaxed when you entered the room though, shutting the door behind you, and you felt glad to at least be some comfort.

You smiled in greeting, and spoke softly. "Will you tell me what's going on with you?"

"I assure you, I am fine. Do not trouble yourself."

You closed the distance between you hesitantly, giving him the chance to back away, and took his hands. "Please, Thorin. I can see something is troubling you."

"I am just... concerned. About the future of this quest, about everyone's safety." You saw a struggle in his mind of not wanting to be vulnerable, but he seemed to give in, and sighed in defeat. "I fear that people are going to be hurt because of me."

"Oh, my love..." you breathed, pressing your forehead to his. "You are the best leader any of us could ask for, and I promise you that you will not be the cause of any hurt."

He gently pulled back and looked into your eyes. "You truly believe that?"

"Of course I do. Those in this company are strong and intelligent. Perhaps with the exception of your nephews," you chuckled, and Thorin couldn't help but smile. "They are all capable of making their own decisions. They knew the risks of coming along, but they have all chosen to join anyway because they saw a courageous dwarf that they wanted to follow."

"I only want to do right by my people."

"And you will. We all have faith in you."

He pressed his forehead to yours again. "You're far too good to me, ghivashel," he murmured.

"All I want is for you to be happy, my love."

And with that, you tilted your head up and kissed him, your fingers tracing his cheekbones as you pulled him closer. It wasn't rushed and clumsy, as it was when Thorin first confessed, but slow and loving, every movement of your lips against his a confession of love in itself. His hands found their way to your waist and pulled you flush against him, trying to feel as much of you as possible.

When you separated to take a breath, meeting his lust-filled gaze was all the encouragement you needed.

"I wonder if there's any way I could relieve some of your stress..." Your tone was playful as you slid your hands achingly slowly down Thorin's chest, and you heard him inhale as you stopped just at his hips.

"Amralime, are you sure? If we start I will not want to hold back."

"I trust you, Thorin." You smiled and nodded towards the double bed. "And we may as well take advantage of the luxury while we have it."

He smirked. "I'm beginning to think you came here just to bed me."

"Hey, I would never-"

Your sarcastic reply was cut off by him kissing you again, with a desperation you hadn't seen from him before. Maybe you had awakened something long kept under control, but any coherent thought of that was soon lost when he shrugged the furs off his shoulders and his fingers found the hem of your shirt.

Soon becoming restless feeling him trace the curves of your waist, you broke away from the kiss just long enough to tug your shirt off. Thorin did the same, and after some hurried fumbling between more stolen kisses, you were both undressed. His hands never left your body as he backed you up towards the bed.

"You are so beautiful, ghivashel..." he murmured, lips trailing along your jawline and down your neck. It was so easy to get lost in the sensation, but when he tried to sit you down on the bed, you stopped him.

"Tonight is about you, my love." You turned the two of you around and gently pushed him back to sit down, taking the time to admire his toned body as you knelt in front of him.

Thorin's eyes were wide with surprise and he almost looked as if he wanted to protest, but the twitch of his already hard cock gave him away.

"You... you don't have to-"

"I want to." His breath hitched when your lips traced his thigh, and you smiled. "Relax, my king..."

Any further protest was soon lost when you leaned forward and licked a long stripe up his length, wrenching a gasp from his lips. Your movements were slow, mapping out every inch of him with kitten licks until he was writhing impatiently before you, until you were done teasing and sucked his tip into your mouth.

The room was filled with the sounds of breathy groans and muttered Khuzdul that you could barely focus on as you continued. Thorin twisted his fingers into your hair when you began taking him inch by inch into your mouth - his grip was firm, but never controlling - and when you started bobbing your head he was certain that he must've been dreaming.

Looking up at him and pressing your thighs together to suppress your own arousal, you watched his head tilt back in ecstasy every time you pressed your tongue flat against his tip when you rose. The sounds he made were so beautiful that it was becoming more and more difficult to control yourself. Fortunately, it seemed you wouldn't need to for much longer. You felt the tension in his body increase with every bob of your head, every swipe of your tongue, and as your movements grew faster you wrapped your hand around the base to stroke what you couldn't fit in your mouth. Yet, when you next looked up at him, he gently pushed you away, denying himself climax.

"Is everything alright, my love?"

He leant down for a brief kiss, still breathing heavily, and nodded. "That was... incredible." He took your hands and guided you to stand, then pulled you closer to straddle his lap.

"Then-" You inhaled sharply feeling his lips and teeth over your throat. "Then why didn't you let me finish?"

Thorin didn't answer for a moment, too busy creating a cluster of pink marks along your neck. When he was satisfied with his work, he tugged your hips down to press his hard length against you.

"Because I want to finish inside you, amralime."

You simply nodded, feeling too flustered and on edge to offer any sort of response beyond a whispered, "Please..."

Thorin stood up holding you, his lips continuing their assault on your neck, and carefully laid you down in the center of the bed. He slotted himself between your legs and wasted no time in moving to prepare you. Pausing to receive a nod of consent, he slid one thick finger into you, and you gasped at the sudden feeling. He soon added a second when you began rocking your hips against his hand impatiently, begging for more.

"Patience," he chuckled. "I do not want to hurt you."

"I don't care." You moaned breathlessly with every curl of his fingers. It felt like so much already, but still not enough. "I need you now, Thorin."

"Who would I be to deny my queen?"

He withdrew his fingers and you immediately pulled him forward to kiss you, a soft gasp being pulled from you when he ground his hips against you, ever so lightly pressing against your clit. Holding himself up over you with one hand, he used the other to guide his tip to your entrance and, swallowing your cries in the kiss, he slowly pushed into you.

His hand found yours and your fingers intertwined while he waited for any signs of your discomfort to fade. It was an uncomfortable stretch to fit his thick cock, but it soon became a welcome sensation, and you wrapped your legs around his waist to urge him on.

He moved carefully at first, until your cries of pain became cries of pleasure, and soon his hips snapped back against you much more firmly. Each thrust hit so deep inside of you, filling you up so perfectly, and his fingers gripped your hips almost tight enough to bruise. You clutched onto him tightly, trying to stay grounded amongst the sensations. One hand was buried in his hair, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, the other was digging into his back, leaving scratches that you were sure would last a few days at least. Though it didn't seem to bother him - every time you dug your nails into his back, it seemed to be encouragement, and he relentlessly kept up his pace. It was firm and deep, but never rough, though part of you wondered how hard he would go if you asked.

With each thrust, you bucked your hips to meet him, trying to get more friction to ignite the coil of heat growing in your core. Thorin's moans soon grew louder, despite him trying to remain as quiet as he could, and when his rhythm grew unsteady his fingers slipped down to circle your clit as his teeth latched onto your neck again.

"Ghivashel..." he murmured, his voice strained. "I'm so close..."

Your mind was spinning with pleasure, and you felt yourself reaching your peak as well. "I am too..." you panted.

His hips shifted just enough to hit a spot inside you to make you see stars, and along with the attention on your clit and your neck, it was enough to push you over the edge. Your grip on him tightened as the coil snapped and heat spread through your body, and you buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your cry of pleasure.

It seemed to last forever, and in your pleasure-filled haziness you registered Thorin also growing tense, and you heard his deep groan as he reached his climax and came inside of you. He felt so perfect, and you both stayed clinging onto each other, lost for breath, until you both came to.

Still catching his breath, he kissed your forehead and pulled out to lie next to you, and you couldn't help but whimper at the sudden emptiness.

He lay on his side, facing you, and brought your hand up to his lips. "You are so wonderful, amralime."

You smiled softly and shuffled closer, putting an arm over his waist and tucking your head under his. "So are you, my king."

You glanced back at the door to the room and chuckled.

"What is it?"

"Maybe we should lock the door next time."

#the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit smut #the hobbit x you #the hobbit x y/n #the hobbit imagine #thorin x reader #thorin x you #thorin x y/n #thorin imagine #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin oakenshield imagine #thorin smut #thorin x reader smut #thorin x reader lemon

[neevblanc]

„curious” ♡

a/n —hey all! hope ur doin' well, drink water if you haven't! have this as a treat. it's 2k and some more but i cant be bothered to check for specifics. (p.s sorry if the tarot aspects of this are wonky! i did my best to research and i pulled reference from my sister's experience with tarot cards/reading.)

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— 22/ada dazai, flirting?, pre-slash, don't question why reader's given a key, reader works under ango but he's also they're dad figure, it's a whole thing, mentions of sskk though not explicitly platonic or romantic, take that as you wish, dazai's infuriating habit of burying feelings and then one day he'll die

CW/TW— dazai. (/j, none i can think of.)

note — reader's ability in this is based on one that my friend chose for our self-ship au. "Teacher of Truth by Saneatsu Mushanokoji: The user can employ tarot cards to gain insight into the past, current, and possible future situations. The user needs to know what each of the cards mean in order to properly interpret what they say." it's from a post on tumblr, but I couldn't find it for the life of me! i'll credit if i can. anyway, it's been tweaked a little so i'm here to explain. in this, reader can choose to use their ability during a reading or not, but the tarot cards are always personal to them. people they know will sometimes show in the cards if they're important to them.

The next time Dazai sees you, it’s well before the ADA opens for the day. He’d admittedly had a rough night—sleep evaded him like always, and he hadn’t had dinner because of his own laziness. His futon was impossibly comfy. How was he meant to part with its loving warmth?

The Door to the agency creaks open, the sound not unlike the groan of the cafe floorboards only steps away. One of Dazai’s favorite activities was purposely seeking out the creaky floorboards and dancing on them so loud Kunikida would have to berate him, of course. He was intimately familiar with the annoying sounds this old building could make.

The office is darker than during working hours, but he notices the meager amount of lights still switched on. Distantly, he knows Kunikida would’ve blown a gasket about the electric bill if he had found them still on. He takes a step into the room-

Something rustles. Downstairs, an old radio plays a song he does not recognize. Pigeons flutter and coo from outside the window.

Somebody was in the agency, and had it been any of his fellow detectives, he’d have known.

“Hmmm, what’s this,” he mutters absently, volume low enough to alert whoever it was had decided to trespass.

”Dazai-san?” a soft voice calls, and Dazai pauses for a moment. A short, hollow sound follows—cards shuffling. He bites the inside of his cheek. How curious.

”Last I checked, you don’t clock in with the rest of us measly agents. Surely Ango’s fuming by now?” He hums, stepping into view of you. you’re sat at Atsushi’s desk, bag perched on top of Atsushi’s empty report trays. Dazai almost smirks at the sight— silly Atsushi, always rushing to complete everything in a timely manner. One day, he’d get him to turn them in later, hopefully months later- like he did.

”Hm, no. I clocked in earlier, but Ango wanted me over here early. Something about a mission I have to hand over to Fukuzawa-dono. I got a key from him last time, so I just let myself in.” you explained. Dazai pulled his own chair out and collapsed into it, peering down at what your hands were busying themselves with.

He realizes they’re tarot cards. Thick and sturdy under your fingers, you set them up neatly in front of yourself. The backs are a matte purple, decorated with silver details that glint as the sunrise light hits them for just a fraction of a second. The illustrations seem to flicker with movement, almost like snapshots of time shifting through an old camera, frame after frame.

”What’s got you so busy?” he asks, exaggeratingly leaning over to look at the cards. You laugh and smile, expression wobbly. He notes the change. You briefly shake out the bracelet laying on your wrist, almost nervously. You lay the last card on the desk’s surface. Atsushi’s cute cat clock ticks from where it’s placed near his report trays.

“I do readings for the day early in the morning, just in case. Sometimes, I don’t even use my ability.” You explain, keeping your voice low so as not to break the morning peace. Dazai glances at the cat clock. Soon, the secretaries and Kunikida will clock in and begin their work day. He focuses back on you and grins, intrigued.

“Anxious, then? I guess the ability to see the future will do that to ‘ya.” Dazai sighed, crossing his legs and resting his chin on his hand. He was content to watch you finish setting the cards down in a formation he admittedly did not understand.

” What does that one mean?” he says, pointing to one of the cards. Its flickering surface shows a woman with mint-colored hair pulled up into a bun. Behind her, there’s a black mass, and she seems to be standing in a graveyard. There are two Xs at the top of the card. You redirect your attention to the card he’s hovering his finger over and smile.

”That’s Judgment—renewal, reflection, awakening, or reckoning. For a personal reading, it would mean going through a period of self-evaluation or maybe even trying to understand the people around you and your situation more.” You explain, seemingly done with the spread and setting down the other cards nearby. Dazai purses his lips.

”Sounds gloomy. Lame!” He huffs, upset by his choice. you gasp and narrow your eyes.

”Don’t call them lame! You’ll piss them off, Dazai.” You hiss, smacking him on the arm. Dazai grins and leans closer, smile growing coy.

”Really now? And how exactly does one do that?” Dazai prods. You stick your tongue out and cross your arms.

“Not telling. Now shut up and let me do my reading.” You grumble, eyes flicking over the cards. Dazai whines and throws himself forward, almost shoving you off of Atsushi’s chair.

”Dude!” You yelp, hands scrambling to grasp his coat as he rights himself. Dazai grabs you by the shoulders and shakes, intent on being the biggest possible nuisance.

”That’s boring! Do your reading laterrrr; it won’t matter, right? Ne- do a reading for me! I wanna know my future,” He begs, grinning. You blink and scowl, pushing him away.

”First off, it would matter. Doing a reading later would be a completely different outcome. Just wait. All I have to do is interpret these. I’ll do yours after.” You grumble, adjusting their sleeves and settling back into the chair. Dazai harrumphs but settles into his own chair to watch you silently read the cards.

You focus back on the cards, and Dazai settles himself by watching you idly. You’re dressed in what you always wear to work, but it’s casual enough to know doubt have been breaking the dress code had you not been working under Ango for so long.  There’s a small scrunch to your nose as you focus on your task, and Dazai can spot how you run your tongue over your teeth in thought. Dazai looks away pointedly. Taking a few breaths, he forcibly clears his mind. How odd.

”Okay, done.” You hum, straightening and starting to pick up the cards. He shifts so his whole body is faced toward you. You take gentle care of the cards, putting them back into the deck.

”Why do they flicker like that? You aren’t using your ability,” he asks, curious about the shifting images on the cards. You shrug.

”Don’t know. It happens no matter what deck I use, though I prefer using this one. The images just shift into the same ones most of the time, though some have changed over time.” You explain, shuffling the cards. Dazai reaches out and hovers over your hand before poking the back of it gently. You let him despite knowing the outcome.

The images on the cards still lying on the table flicker, completely uninterrupted, even as Dazai feels the shiver of his ability eating away at yours. He hums and pulls away. He hadn’t been paying attention when he jostled you earlier, but you were right- they were unaffected.

”Strange, but not unheard of. Some ability effects aren’t considered active enough for my ability to erase.” Dazai says, allowing you to continue. you finish and present him with the deck, pulling away when he goes to take them.

”Don’t be mean to them. They’ll be mean to you. You can’t even think anything negative; they’ll know. You’re gonna cut the deck in 3, okay? We’ll do a simple reading.” you explain, and only once Dazai agrees (crosses his heart and hopes to die!) is he gently handed the cards.

”What do you want to read? We can focus on love, or money, or your career, things like that.” You say. Dazai ponders for a moment before sniffing, mouth settled into a pompous pout.

”I want to know if someone will finally be interested in a double suicide with me.” He huffs. You scoff.

”You’re insane. Okay, so love. Think about that while you cut them.” You nod, giving him the go-ahead. He runs his fingers over the well-loved edges and slots his thumbs through the deck where it feels right, setting the individual cuts down on the desk before them. He tries to take it as seriously as possible, though thinking about love has always made him squirm and itch beneath his skin.

You reach over once he’s done and clear your throat, carefully picking the top cards on each deck and laying them out in front of him. On the left, the first card flipped is a wheel, seemingly in the sky and surrounded by clouds. The clouds float by calmly, though Dazai can’t find anything particularly personal to you the way some of the other cards would show.

It’s made a little more difficult considering the card’s orientation- upside down.

You hum at it before moving on. The card in the middle is revealed, and this one piques his interest. He grins a little at the image. Two figures hold goblets in their hands, strings of power rising from the cups and meeting above their heads to form a Yin and Yang sign. The figures are startingly familiar- one dark-haired, the other light-haired. Accents in their hair match each other, silver and black clashing and melding nicely. This one’s facing right-side up. The image flickers to show the energy that swirls around, occasionally circling their respective holders.

The last one flicks onto the wooden desk with a hollow sound. The image is soft, not unlike the first one with the blue sky. A sun takes up the upper half, rays pronounced against the sky. Ttheire’s a little kid in the illustration, their beaming face scrunched up in happiness. There’s a flag clutched in one hand, with the other gripping onto the mane of the white horse they’re perched upon. Sunflowers frame them, peaking over the illustrated garden wall behind them.

It’s an endlessly endearing picture, and from the smile, he has a feeling he knows who it is. Like the last one, it’s right-side up.

You settle your chin against your palm, leaning on the table with a hum.

”That’s….a really nice reading, actually.” You move to point at the cards. Dazai sits patiently with his hands on his lap. Nothing more fascinating than seeing someone in their element, he supposed.

”That first one is The Wheel of Fortune. Upside down, it’s a little darker. It represents your past,” you pause, looking at him for a moment. “I think for you, it’s focused on the feeling of helplessness—lack of power or control…like you had love but couldn’t control how and when you lost it,” you say, your voice soft. Dazai fights to ignore the discomfort building in his throat.

”Well, what can I say? My dark past haunts me,” he bemoans, and you huff a soft laugh. You move on to the next card- the cups. You look a little embarrassed by this one.

”This one is the present. Two cups represent…well, partnership. More specifically, the realization of a new partnership. This one can be pretty romantic. I guess you’ve got something to look forward to soon,” you say, pointedly ignoring the images of his two kohais. He grins, sparing you of the teasing. He didn’t know how well you even knew Akutagawa- but it was amusing to see everyone could see what those two denied vehemently.

”The last one is the future. You got The Sun, which is actually really sweet.” Through your embarrassment, Dazai watches a sweet smile grow on your face. He matches it easily.

“It means joy and success, for you in particular. It means…whatever or whoever your two cups is for, you’ll be very happy together.” You say, and Dazai sighs wistfully.

”Maybe someone will finally want to commit suicide with me! This news might keep me alive a day longer just yet,” Dazai coos. You groan and take a deep breath, seemingly ignoring him as you duck your head down and then start to put the cards back.

”You better hope you didn’t piss this deck off, Dazai.” you huff, glaring. Dazai pouts, cradling his face in his hands.

“What?! I followed all your rules; I would never,” he whines. You flip him off and busily tuck the cards into a soft leather pouch. He lets his hands drop and watches for a moment.

”Thanks for the reading,” Dazai says, his voice back to normal. You glance at him and smile.

”Yeah, no problem. It’s nice to read without my ability once in a while,” you admit, expression soft. He grins. Something stirs in his chest.

”You can read me whenever you want, lovely.” He purrs jokingly. You startle, flushing. You glare and kick him with your foot.

”Don’t say shit like that,” you mutter. Dazai whines out a laugh, having settled on teasing you until he could see the smoke coming out your ears.

Before he could continue, the door creaks open, and the overhead lights flick on. Multiple people come shuffling in, and Dazai can hear Kunikida conversing lowly with Fukuzawa. The secretaries also file in, chattering contently amongst themselves. Fukuzawa and Kunkida pause only to greet them both. you wave politely, and Dazai salutes them both.

you blink your eyes to adjust to the light now flooding the room. Dazai huffs and stands with a groan.

”Alright, I’ve got five minutes to get out of here. You’ll be going in to see Shachou, right?” He asks, stretching. you stand and nod, giving him a look.

”Where are you going?” you ask, picking up your bag. He groans at the way his back pops as he rights himself from his stretching.

”Home. I only came here 'cause I was bored. But in the long run, it’ll be a lot funnier if Kunikida’s mad all morning when I don’t show up~” He snickers. you shake your head, a smile pulling at your mouth.

“You’re so lame. See you, then.” You sighed, heading down the hall Kunikida and Fukuzawa had disappeared down.

”And yet you love me. ‘Till we meet again,” he calls, pointedly ignoring the yell you let out.

”Whatever!” you yelped, and Dazai let the agency door click closed behind him.

He grins. Curious indeed.

note — can you tell i love brothers! atsushi and dazai? also, the woman in Judgement is Mizuki Tsujimura, who I headcanon is pretty good friends with reader in this one. :) please let me know if there are any pronoun inconsistencies! this was originally written with she/her pronouns, and i did my best to fix it to match the gender neutral style i like to use for tumblr stuffs.

©neevblanc 2024 // do not plagiarize or repost

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #gn!y/n #dazai osamu x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x you #gender neutral y/n #neev.doc

[animeomegas]

Hello ^~^

I would like to request neji, gaara and itachi (or whoever you want, really!! I really just want pup interactions) and the things that they let their pups get away with and things that they definitely would NOT let their pups get away with. Been reading your head cannons with their pups and I am obsessed!!

Hello! Pup headcanons are so much fun~ I hope you enjoy!

NEJI

What does Neji let his pup get away with you ask?

Nothing.

Okay, well, that's not entirely true, but he is pretty strict when his pup is young.

Ultimately though, he's weak to almost anything that his pup asks for to learn. His house is filled with expensive hobby objects that his pup used once and then forgot about.

Cameras, clay, chemistry kits, wool, countless how-to books.

Neji really prioritises learning and enrichment, so he rarely says no to purchases needed to learn a new hobby.

Obviously, kids are flaky, but everytime he says "what about the thing I just bought you?"

his pup says "but this time I reaaaaalllly want to learn this, and I'll keep at it, I promise!"

They rarely do, but Neji caves every time.

And what does he never let his pup get away with?

Everything

Swearing.

Even when his pup is an adult he tells them that he doesn't want to hear them use bad language. He just thinks it's incredibly disrespectful for them to use that sort of language around him, their parent.

He knows they use it with their friends and that's fine, but he's their father, not their friend, so he doesn't want to hear it. Ever.

GAARA

So, what does Gaara let his pups get away with?

Interrupting him at work, for sure.

He's just soooo weak for his little ones, they are his biggest priority, so while he might lightly scold them if they barge into the Kazekage's office without a good reason, he's too soft to actually stop them.

Whether his pups are crying toddlers brought in by his mate, or school children on their way home, or even teens having a rough day, he invites them in, pauses his work/meeting, and gives them hugs and some of the snacks that he keeps in the bottom draw for them.

He's been known to keep his toddlers on his lap while in important meetings as well.

Because he's Kazekage, sure, but Gaara never forgets that he's a father too.

What do Gaara's pups never get away with?

Hmm, Gaara is very relaxed and lenient, but lying to him is something he takes very seriously.

It truly breaks his heart and trust if his pups lie to him about big things. Obviously a toddler lying about eating a cookie is not a big deal to him, but his older children covering something up and lying to his face... it hurts him.

He's not asking for 100% full transparency all the time, but if he asks a serious question and they lie, then he finds out that they lied, he's hurt enough to ground them and take away their privileges for sure. And his disappointed face is punishment in of itself.

ITACHI

Itachi is sort of a middle ground between the other two. He's nowhere near as strict as Neji nor as lenient as Gaara.

So what does he let his pups get away with?

Occasional fake 'sick' days.

He's a little ashamed that he's so lax about this, but if one of his pups is sad, or stressed, or even just wants to stay at home and cuddle with him all day, he gives them the day off from school.

Itachi sort of wishes he could home school them, but it's important for Uchiha integration into Konoha that the future clan head's children go to the main academy school.

But he still gets these occasional special 'sick' days where he puts off all chores to cuddle and play with his children uninterrupted for the day.

But what is he strict about?

Fighting between siblings.

He won't have his children being mean to each other or purposely winding each other up.

He has been known to project a teeny bit. Viewing his children as him and Sasuke subconsciously. He doesn't even know that he does it, tbh, all he knows is it makes him very tense and anxious when his children fight, even playfully.

His household is thankfully very low on conflict, but when his pups do fight or bicker, he gives them something his alpha has lovingly dubbed as the 'sibling speech'. It's a long speech about loving and supporting each other and being a team etc. etc.

Itachi isn't creative enough to invent the 'this is our get-along shirt' but if someone ever brought it up, he would at least consider it XD

#gaara #neji #itachi #a/b/o #omegaverse #hcs #headcanons #omega!itachi #omega!gaara #omega!neji #alpha!reader #pups

[yumimak]

Fourth Times the Charm - Prolouge

Hey guys! So I had this idea for an angsty Neteyam story that was a mix of like ‘one sided’ enemies to lovers but also grumpy/sunshine without making Neteyam a total butthole. I think this prologue gives a good idea of how I am going to do that, I really hope you enjoy!

Please read the A/N at the end if you are intrested!!

Neteyam

Finding a mate was something most Na’vi looked forward to. Traditionally, it was the first step that was taken after passing the rites of passage. That special bond was desired and sought out by almost everybody.

I, for one, was never really one of these people.

I was one of the youngest people to pass their Iknimaya and was the youngest to become a warrior in our clan. My father was Olo’eyktan and some day I would be too.

Knowing this, the idea of finding a mate never really interested me past the age of 10. From a young age I’ve been very aware of the possible threats posed against our clan. So from that age I decided that I would put all my energy towards being the best warrior and future leader I could be.

I believe it was a good choice on my part. After all those years I’d become the esteemed warrior I’d always wanted to be. Through it all my clan stayed safe and I’ve always had my family by my side.

What more could I ever want or need? What more fulfillment would a woman give that I had not given myself?

Sadly, my logic did not align with the tradition of being a future leader. Because where there was an Olo’eyktan there would always be a Tsahik. So although I was okay with not finding a mate, the lack of having a future Tsahik was starting to concern much of the clan, especially my parents.

My mother and my father had one of the best love stories I have ever heard in my life. They knew how great the right bond could be and it was evident they wanted me to find my mate so I could be as happy as they are. They saw how hard I worked to be the warrior I am today, there was no doubting my skills or capability of being Olo’eyktan someday. So now all they wanted was for me to settle down and find my Tsahik.

They never forced me though, only making a few comments here and there. They tried to be understanding, telling themselves I was just taking my own path and would eventually find a woman in the clan that I’d want to be with. But on the other hand, it was traditional to be mated by the age of 21 so when I had yet to show interest in finding a mate of my own at 18, they began arranging women for me to court. 

I know that it was their last resort, they had never really liked the idea of forcing mates together since they knew first hand how powerful a bond was when you truly loved the other. I think that’s why they never forced me to actually bond with any of the women permanently. I think the plan was to encourage the idea of how great having a mate could be.

Their plan failed.

In one year I went through three arranged courtships, each possible mate worse than the one before.

There was Tallulah, Lì'ee, and Aìyana.

Tallulah was picked from our clan and our courtship lasted a mere three weeks. She was a year younger than me but I had known her my entire life seeing as she was a good friend of Kiri’s. She was intelligent, beautiful, and a talented forager. They were great traits for a Tsahik to have which is why I think my parents picked her. Although I admired her for all of those things, I could not for the life of me see her as more than my little sister’s friend.

Luckily Tallulah didn’t take me ending the courtship too roughly. She understood and simply hoped the two of us could still stay cordial. There were no hard feelings; her and Kiri remained friends, and Tallulah and I never had any animosity towards each other.

I wish I could say the next two ended the same.

Lì'ee was a young woman from a nearby clan in the forest. She was the oldest child of the Olo’eyktan, and although whoever she mated with would become the next Olo’eyktan, she couldn’t seem to find a mate.

That should have been an instant red flag to my parents.

Lì'ee and I’s courtship lasted three months and it started off great. She was very sweet and caring, raised to be an amazing Tsahik. I could see myself building a future with her, until we hit the three month mark. By then I began to understand why nobody had wanted to court her.

She was atrociously needy and practically demanded all my attention. It didn’t matter if I was with my family or friends, or even out on a hunt. If I was not by her side 24/7 I would come back to her upset or even crying. I had tried to comply with her needs, reducing my personal and even family time to be with her, but it was never enough.

On top of all of that she had absolutely no backbone. Yes, she was sweet as could be and it was lovely, but that was all she was. She couldn’t stand up for herself at all whether in a social setting or out in the wild. I swear Tuk was mentally stronger than Lì'ee even at her young age.

Yet, I put up with all of these flaws hoping one day I would get used to it or she would grow the fuck up. That never happened, and somehow it got worse.

I was never intimate with Lì'ee. Maybe a kiss on the cheek or the back of the hand but that was all. It never felt right to do anything more with her but she could not respect that. She constantly begged for more, to be intimate even when I stated I had not wanted to be. My last straw was when I overheard her speaking to a group of girls about our ‘amazing sex life’ that never was.

I never desired to be rude to the girl at any point, and I in no way wanted to ruin her pure reputation by telling her lies. So I kept her actions a secret from all, even my parents asked why I ended our courtship. To them I was just being picky.

Lastly, and worst of all, there was Aìyana.

When choosing my next possible mate they decided to look further than our clan and other forest clans all together. Aìyana was the daughter of Öyatx, an Olo’eyktan of one of the Ash clans.

The ash people were located high in the mountains where the forest ended far from the Omaticaya. They were mighty, composed of the strongest warriors of Pandora. An impenetrable force for any enemy who even thought of going against them.

Though they were so strong, they were also some of the most peaceful Na’vi to walk our land. They never exerted their strength unless absolutely necessary. When I met Aìyana it had been decades since their clan had seen a war.

My parents knew this which is why I think they were so quick to introduce us and begin our courtship, because if we mated our clan would be forever connected to the ash people. I would find my mate and the clan would have the fiercest warriors of Pandora backing us. 

What could go wrong?

Me not liking her.. that’s what I thought could go wrong. There was no way I could reject the daughter of Öyatx without there being major consequences for our people.

Luckily, not liking her was nearly impossible.

I was star-struck the moment Aìyana stepped foot in our clan. Yes, all the women before were beautiful, but nothing compared to her beauty. Her skin was dark blue, closer to a shade of gray than the more vibrant blue I was used to seeing. Her hair, long and soft, was pure white complimenting her glowing freckles beautifully. And then there were her eyes, a shade deep red that I thought I could never get tired of gazing into.

Her physical beauty only scratched the surface of the many layers of Aìyana. We instantly connected in our first conversation. She was oh so funny, with a beautiful smile that could brighten even the gloomiest of days.

She was the first woman I genuinely desired a courtship with.

As time progressed I never lost feelings for her, they only seemed to grow far past the capacity I believed feelings for people could grow. She was the strong warrior I expected her to be considering where she was from, but she was also so sweet and caring. She knew how to be soft and open up about her emotions, but she also knew how to listen when you spoke. She was one of the most understanding people I thought I could ever meet.

I never opened up about my emotions, as I grew up I only ever felt that it was a burden for whoever I decided to tell. But with Aìyana, it was different. She’d insist on me opening up to her when I was obviously obsessed, ensuring I knew I didn’t have to but also promising it was okay for me to open up to her.

I was so nervous the first time I opened up to her, fidgeting with my hands until she took it upon herself to hold them.  Talking to her was like nothing I had ever felt before. She didn’t make fun when I spoke of my hurts, nor did she laugh when a few tears embarrassingly fell from my eyes. It was so relieving that I almost didn’t know what to do with that empty space where my burdens would normally sit. But when she held me that night, I decided to devote that space to her. 

She was the first person I felt truly saw me, the first person I was ever truly intimate with, and the only person I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. I was totally and irrevocably in love with her.

We courted for six months before we decided we wanted to finally mate with one another. It was traditional in arranged courtships for the soon-to-be mated pair to visit the others clan for a celebration of the clans union before having another celebration in the clan they planned on residing in.

In respect of this tradition, Aìyana, my parents, and I all flew to her clan up in the mountains. It was dark there but very beautiful. Aìyana was quick to show me around and introduce me to all her friends. I was nervous that they would not like me, but they were inviting and I felt as if I fit right in.

A certain part of me was anxious that something would go wrong, but I knew that it was just my nature and that after six months with Aìyana nothing could go wrong.

And nothing did for the first few days, but looking back, I wish I had listened to my gut because things can always go wrong.

- Two years ago -

The night here is so much different than at home. There are much less trees and far more caves up here, it would be much harder to navigate if it wasn’t for the white glow of the moon right now.

Today Aìyana and I did not spend as much time together as usual. It was more of a quality time day for her to be with her family and friends alone before our celebration tomorrow night. 

I spent the day with my family, which was fun, but now since night had fallen I was on my way to Aìyana’s hut where we planned on meeting.

When I arrive though she isn’t there. I brushed it off though, I was early and she hasn’t seen her friends in six months, she wasn’t obliged to rush back to me when after tomorrow she’d be leaving her home to officially become Omaticaya.

Uncomfortable with staying in her hut while she wasn’t there, I decided to take a little walk. Maybe she’d be home by the time I got back. 

My walk is peaceful, by this time most have retired to their huts for the night. I venture into a small bout of trees similar to the forest, exploring more of this foreign area when a laugh catches my attention. It’s a beautiful harmony that I recognize as none other than my Aìyana’s.

I smile, glad to hear she is enjoying her time with her friends, before deciding to continue my walk in the opposing direction. As I turn through another woman's voice stops me in my tracks. “He cried?” she laughs.

“Like a little baby,” Aìyana responds.

My heart sinks, she couldn’t possibly be talking about me.

Another woman speaks next, “So much for mating with a ‘mighty warrior.’ Who would’ve thought Toruk Makto’s son was so soft.”

“Why are you even staying with him?” another asks.

“Well, it would benefit both of our clans. And my dad plans on mating me with someone else anyway, so why not just get it over with instead of wasting a bunch of time picking suitors.”

“Okay but you’ve got to tell us.. how’s he in bed?”

Aìyana sighs deeply, “Amazing in theory, sometimes I’m just not mentally there, it’s whatever. Anyways, speaking of ‘being in bed’ I’ve got to be somewhere before a certain someone comes crying at my doorstep.”

The group laughs bidding Aìyana goodbye, but I can’t help the pang of hurt that I feel in my chest. Especially when one of the girls yells after her, ‘Tell Tavo we said hi!!!’

My heart sinks impossibly deeper in my chest, who the hell was Tavo?

I decided to extend my walk, trying to convince myself that I was making all of this up. But how could I when I’d heard it all with my own two ears.

After prolonging my return to Aìyana’s tent, I decide to finally make my way back. I needed to speak to her about what I had heard. Despite it breaking my heart, another completely delusional part of me believed that we could work past this.

As I arrive at her tent all hope drains from my body though. The sounds from inside the tent burn their way into my ears. The mix of moans between the woman I love and a man that was not me fills me with dread, betrayal, and anger.

A part of me wanted to barge in, embarrass the two and unleash my anger in a way suitable for the Toruk Makto’s son. In a way that would prove to her that I was way too mighty to just sit back and take this.

But the reasonable part of me tells me it’s not worth it. It tells me that although I love her to the moon and back, the extent of her love hardly reached the forest.

-  Present -

That night I went straight to my family hut, holding back the tears that threatened to pour from my eyes as I told my family we were leaving. My parents attempted to argue it but I was persistent so, despite their wishes, we left.

I spent the entirety of the next week sulking alone in my hut. Seeing as nobody had a clue as to why I ended things with Aìyana, everyone was concerned. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

But when Aìyana’s father became infuriated with my impulsive decision to leave and not mate with his daughter, the threat of war knocked at our clan's door. I could tell my father blamed me for this, he was mad that I had ended things and even more upset that I wouldn’t tell anyone why.

That next week Kiri came to my hut in the night. She’d brought me dinner and sat with me as I ate. She didn’t try to force me to speak or anything, she just wanted to know that was okay and that meant the world to me.

That night when she left she gave me a big hug, my first hug since Aìyana. I did the one thing I’d been trying to do at that moment, I broke down like the crybaby I am. 

It was humiliating, crying in my little sister's embrace, but I knew that if I could trust anyone it would be my dearest sister Kiri. So when she pulled away and asked me to talk to her, I did. I told her every event of that wretched night, leaving her stunned and angry.

Before leaving that night Kiri promised she wouldn’t tell a soul of what happened. She did ask me to at least tell our father that Aìyana was unfaithful, she promised he would understand.

Trusting Kiri, I told my dad that I had overheard Aìyana’s betrayal and that’s why I had decided to leave her. To my surprise my father more than understood, he was infuriated. I asked my father not to expose her though because although she had hurt me, I still felt a deep love for the woman.

He agreed but still with two furious Olo’eyktan’s butting heads, war was inevitable.

The almost two year fight was rough and draining for the clan, but when it did finally end, the Omaticaya came out on top.

Grieving my love for Aìyana was rough, but throughout the first year of the war I learned not to crave her, I learned to be alone again, and I had come to love it once more.

By the end of the war I was completely over the woman and what she’d done to me. I was myself again, strong and mighty all around. In pure spite, I gave up on keeping what Aìyana did a secret. 

With the humiliation of a cheating daughter, and having a war that could have been completely avoided if it wasn’t for her. The ash clan, that I am proud to have no more connections with, surrendered.

Now it had been a little over two years since the war had begun, and six months since it had ended.

Everything had been back to normal these past six months and I couldn’t have been happier.

Well, until today when I was told of my fourth arranged courtship.

I thought that I was past this shit, and that Aìyana was the perfect example that nothing good would come from this and that I was better off by myself.

That didn’t matter though because in one week I will be thrown down the rabbit hole again, but luckily this time I know what to expect. And I’d be damned before I got hurt all over again.

- - -

A/N:

Hi guys!! Okay so the reader will be intorduced in the next part! I really hope you are enjoying my story idea so far, I've been absolutly obsessing over the plot in my head. I really wanted to write more angst than my other story Anomaly (which I am still working on promise!) To all my current Anomaly readers, I have tagged you from my taglist from that story here so that you would know about the new story, but if you aren't intrested in being tagged on this one just tell me. :)) Okay okay, it's like three am, i'm going to sleep now. Much love to you all!!- Mak

Taglist:

@cleverzonkwombatsludge @peachycrime @jackiehollanderr @fanboyluvr @killua2dot0 @neteyamsbabymomma @lovedbychoi @aihimitsu @ken-zah @ghostmadeofglass @alfie2401 @awow-2

#avatar #fanfics #neteyam x reader #avatar fic #avatar way of water #kiri x reader #lo’ak x reader #neteyam fic #neteyam x f!reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam #neteyam fluff #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam x you #neteyam smut #neteyam sully #neteyam series #fluff #grumpy sunshine trope #enemies to friends trope #angst #romance

[march2nd]

THE VICTIM

FORGET ME (not) m.list next

chapter III - THE VICTIM

people i'm sad, i went to bed with an amazing idea how to write this chapter but woke up and i forgot it , nevertheless I hope u also enjoy reading this one <3

tw: canon typical violence, mentions of psychological distress, reader is still a minor in this chapter!

word count: 962 (short one i know)

Tossing and turning you cannot help it but think that the reaping must have been rigged. What bothers you is the reason you can't find out what was the reason behind it. You want to cry again but there is no energy to do so left in your body. Your future is uncertain and you have to think of a way how to change your fate. You try to be rational, knowing that there are at least six people who have been actively preparing for this. You recall that few years ago, there was a boy with a trident that used it like a second arm. When you first saw it you found it hypnotizing as he was fighting like it was his second nature. The violence of it scared you, but you couldn't help but look at it when you were crossing the main square after buying more dresses that you even own now.

That boy was just an exception, you sympathized with him just because of his young age and kind eyes. You hate the Careers with burning passion now. Their minds must be twisted already if their greater ambition in life is winning this cruel games. You, Xavier and other who are forced to take part in this farce are nothing but victims who can already estimate the dates of their upcoming deaths. People in the Capitol are speculating on whoever is going to win, maybe the should also consider betting on your deaths. This is extremely unethical, but have they ever considered you as human beings or just creatures providing entertainment?

By thinking that you and Xavier are poor victims threw into the middle of chaos is not quite right. If the system was better, tributes would be considered lucky. It is not just the way life works, but a girl can dream. Imagine if instead of taking them to make them meet their own end Capitol would spoil them and guarantee them the life in luxury. You know that they can afford that. It would show that they don't hold the grudge against you anymore and are willing to forgive. There must have been a reason behind the Rebellion and they did not learn from that. You can't understand the motive behind making a show out of the tragedy. You wish the people were better, that the president would unite instead of dividing.

As you drift into sleep and the sounds of the night and the engine gliding across the tracks you come to conclusion that the death of your father changed you for the better. You can think beyond now and you are grateful for that. On the other side you feel more alone now, as you know you might never meet again with the only person in the world that can understand you. You are not as rebellious as Diana, but if you come out alive from this you might just follow her path. That puts a smile on your face, you hope that she is alright.

What you can't know is that she is being investigated all night. The peacekeepers use that word to create the illusion of it being lawful and right. She has a black eye that she can't open, blood in her mouth and a few broken ribs. She didn't know that they would resort to this and now she doesn't know whether she would do what she did again. She feels so stupid and naive as she knows she shouldn't expose herself like that. You see, it is not just about you and your family ties as she is a part of something bigger. She is so scared to think about it, as the man in the white uniform slaps her in the face. She knows that she can't let any word escape her mouth, no matter how much she wishes to, as it would bring a temporary solace. She wants it all to be over already. She has to stay strong, for mom, Stella and Elena. She doesn't know if she can count you, as she is not sure whether you will live long enough to see the future she is fighting for. That angers her even more; she can't let your parting go for nothing. You and your fate will be a fuel to her fire, even though she can feel everything breaking inside of her. Diana wants to howl, she deeply regrets how mean she was to you in the last few days, she wants to see you and say that she is deeply sorry. She didn't want it to turn the way it did, but she is aware that if you agreed to her proposition you would be safe and sound. She can't imagine what would happen though, if you were chosen as a tribute but not present in District 3. Maybe it is better to die together, than alone. After few minutes she has for her own she is sure that she would do that again. She loves you too much, and she did what she did on an impulse. Because of that you know how much she is willing to do for you, and she supposes that you had forgiven her, as actions prove more than words. She passes out, but her last thoughts are with you. It is true, there is no more bad blood between you two. She will continue fighting for you, your District and whole Panem, just as your father did. She is the only one in the family who knows the story behind it and she was wiling to tell you, but she could see that you weren't ready to hear the whole truth.

NOTES:

i am not very proud of this chapter, but i promised you that i would post it soon </3 things are going to get more interesting soon ++ i will probably rewrite this story after it is finished!

new chapter(s) coming this week!

tag list: @randomgurl2326

#finnick odair #finnick x reader #x reader #forget me not #the hunger games

[leighlew3]

Hello, I was wondering if you could maybe help out. I have this fic, for like 6 years and I know how to write it. It's done in my head and in a few notebooks. I'm so scared to write. Afraid of disappointing whoever reads it. How would you go about it or how do you get over the fear of just saying "Fuck it" and do it? Thank you for whatever advice you may have.

Hi!

This reply turned out longer than I thought, but here goes.

Off the bat -- I'd suggest just writing it for yourself first and foremost. Get it out of your system and fleshed out into a proper document. That’s step one, so that it doesn’t just sit there inside of you because clearly it's itching to get out. And there's no risk there at all. For lack of a better metaphor it's like creative constipation. You've been holding this load for 6 years, lol. It's time to release it and lighten yourself a bit. Go ahead and write it. Just to express yourself. To check out and hone your skills. Etc. You can do that part at least, I believe in you!

And then afterwards, if you're not happy with it, then worst case: at least you finally know. At least you have closure on giving it a shot, and maybe realizing writing ain't for you or simply that you've got work to do to improve your writing. But best case, if you are happy with it and your confidence has grown a bit, then maybe you have a close friend that you trust to be brutally honest do a feedback read for you. And see how they respond before you then even have to think about putting it out for mass consumption. But that's way down the line. Don't even sweat all that just yet. One step at a time.

And then as for in the future if you do ever decide to publish it -- just know, some people are gonna be haters for the sake of hating. But if people have valid criticism, or they generally just don’t seem to enjoy it or it gets no response, then it’s our job as writers, whether it be professionally or when writing fanfiction -- to work hard on not internalizing it to the point of reactivity or self-hate, but rather simply process it if the feedback all has a similar criticism from everybody, or if nobody reads it or likes it at all, and see if perhaps there's a way to improve our work in the future.

Look, there’s no secret to ever getting used to baring our souls via expressing our stories, and then having to find out what total strangers have to say about it. I wish there was. It’s a very vulnerable position to put ourselves in. And some people handle it really well. Meanwhile some people handle it absolutely horribly (see some pro writers’ past behavior and lashing out on Twitter, yikes). The best thing to do, IMO, is to take it in stride even if it’s a big ouch moment, and then use that gut punch to learn and evolve as a writer. Because honestly, WORST CASE SCENARIO -- something stings for a sec, but you live on, you're still breathing, you still exist. Life goes on.

I mean, if you don’t think you can handle the feedback or you think it could be truly damaging to your mental health to be vulnerable like and have people not like it, that's totally understandable. But then if nothing else I hope you at least write it for yourself to get it out of your system and explore it in the safety of your own document. I will say though, IMO, for me, the good has always outweighed the bad as far as publishing or trying to bring something I'm proud of to fruition, because most of the time, someone somewhere will respond to a story and "get" it and like it. And that truly makes it all worth it to provide even just one person a brief escape from life and a moment to enjoy something. Something YOU wrote! It's an amazing feeling. Either way, I believe you are totally capable of at least taking that first step and writing it for yourself. I'd bet, no matter how it turns out, you'll at least feel like you accomplished something. Like you got it out of your system. Like you tried. And that alone is a great thing, IMO. Because if you don't try, you'll never never know. But I think you're more brave and capable than you think you are. And I think you can do this and at least churn it out into a full story for yourself. Because if it's been nagging at you for six whole years... there's a reason. And I think it's time to let it out. But just remember, it's just one step at a time. So do it for yourself first. You've got this. 😉💜

#writing #writers #fiction #advice

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Hey sea! Can you please give me the interpretations on each song from FITF?

Hi there!

I was looking at the FITF tracklist again, and something struck me that other people have mentioned but which didn’t really crystallize in my mind before. But this post made me realize that something really snapped in Louis’ mind during the pandemic.

In Louis’ Alt Press interview, he said, “I wondered if this was going to be my narrative for the rest of my life, where I'm just constantly frustrated that life wasn't dealing me the hand that I wanted.”

Louis talked about a few factors motivating him, and once he got started with writing Faith In The Future, things went really quickly. He got most of the songs done within 3-4 months of writing. The factors were:

1. Being able to sell 160k livestream tickets: he realized that he could “do this at a high fucking level.”

2. The influence of John Frusciante and Red Hot Chili Peppers, whose Live at Slane Castle documentary Louis watched FIVE times. Frusciante had left RHCP during a period of personal struggle, only to return to the band while making solo albums over 32 years. 5x is an obsession.

3. Moving away from the heavy, confessional balladry of Walls toward the lighter, more dynamic stage-driven Faith In The Future. Louis not only felt that he could do it (“Self-doubt, worry and a lack of confidence have, at times, plagued Tomlinson”), but that he DESERVES it. Louis feels his worth. The boosted confidence injects wry humor into much of FITF: despite the heavy themes, the album is ticklish with laughter.

So, just keeping this in mind, I realized that the songs on FITF generally had a theme of Louis’ saying, “You can’t have me anymore.”

In Walls, Louis was writing about going through a breakup, feeling forlorn and lonely (Only The Brave), wishing for reconciliation (Always You) and begging for love (Defenceless). Being alone was something he was afraid of, something that made him feel darkness and insecurity. Even when Louis was reconciled to being alone and trying to be brave about it (Walls, Fearless, Copy of a Copy of a Copy), there was still a feeling that he was responsible. Maybe he was not worthy of love. He woke alone with the same “problems under the sheets.” He had been Too Young. He was addicted to a Habit that had long ago stopped giving him happiness. Louis’ reaction to the pain: Kill My Mind.

In a way, he was working through the stages of grief (many types), but hadn’t really made it through depression.

In FITF, Louis’ attitude has flipped a switch. He is no longer scared or insecure. Louis has become aware that he’s amongst The Greatest. He knows that his journey is worthwhile; he can build his life for his own happiness, and he will no longer beg ex-lovers or any lovers. Whoever wants to come along with him is Lucky to be on this trip. There’s a feeling of light, wind, openness, amplitude, a hope for Paradise, the relief that he can look at any thoughts of suicide in the rearview mirror with gratitude for having survived, a grace and delicacy to his spirit, a distancing from personal anguish. On this album, Louis is nonchalant, effortlessly cool, calm, mature, sexy. It’s what makes him irresistible in every recent photo, and what gives his Instagram selfies an elegant, feline quality. Louis has defined success and peace on his terms, and love seems both sadder but also more attainable, calmer, warmer, because Louis loves himself more.

For Louis’ Track By Track explanations, you can read them here. These are my interpretations.

The Greatest: I’m never going to be in the cold again. We will never see the setbacks we saw in the past. No one will make us disappear again.

Written All Over Your Face: these petty fights are stupid. Whenever you feel like it, you can find me on the other side waiting. And by the way, both your anger and your desire for me are written on your face.

Bigger Than Me: I needed a bigger perspective. Time gave me a chance to rethink.

Lucky Again: there’s no use wishing things were different. Fate has other plans for me. I’m worthy of love; I will find it again.

Face The Music: forget consequences and anxiety. Live in the moment. Your instinct will tell you what’s right.

Chicago: our breakup hurt me incredibly deeply. No matter how much time has passed, it feels just like yesterday. But I learned from it, and I can rise above it.

All This Time: no matter how hard I try, part of me will never be “normal.” But what stays won’t be reminders of the pain of trying to fit in. It will be the love. Pleasure is pain. But pain is a lesson, hard won.

Out Of My System: A wall is a wall but sometimes it feels fucking good to smash it down.

Headline: you thought you could judge me and pin me like an insect, but you were wrong. We could have had a love like a poem; instead, you treated our love like the fucking tabloids. If you had tried to understand me, we could have made our own forever. Now I’m free; I have flown.

Saturdays: my heart might be broken and I’m a grade-A sap tbh, but my hometown is my secret weapon. Whenever I feel lost, I will always find myself there: “there” being the metaphor of Home that I carry inside. My childhood memories will always tell me who I am.

Silver Tongues: I’m a 90’s kid. I guess I’m a 90’s man now. Part of me still lives there. And I want to tell the kid in 2004 and all his friends, you’re gonna be alright. Hang on. Be good. Things will work out.

She Is Beauty We Are World Class: a brilliant night out

Common People: Doncaster is my touchstone. It grounds me and makes me who I am, reminds me what’s real.

Angels Fly: sometimes you have to table your grief and share a drink or ten with a friend.

Holding Onto Heartache: sometimes hearts don’t heal. Life feels like death. Every day feels worse than the previous day. Bad things pile up. What can we do? I am an artist, and I can write a grand, magnificent bridge to scream it all out, and it feels pretty goddamn cathartic! And maybe, maybe I can help others feeling the same way. My high is higher than most, and my lows are darker, but we can resist the pull of darkness together.

That’s The Way Love Goes: it’s their loss 🫡

You can see that many of these songs have the theme of recovering from loss, from heartache, but with an ebullient lightness that was missing from Walls. Most of all, Louis is also stepping back from sadness and self-blame, and giving himself some value. He knows he’s put in the work and he deserves good things, and he’s willing to wait for the payoff.

Forgot to add these photos of Louis looking thirty, flirty, and fucking hot.

#Fitf interpretation #louis songwriting #louis tomlinson #29 january 2023

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

Laurent Tailoring, Brindleton (4:45pm)

Nora: You know, when you said you were going to find something for the engagement party, I thought you meant you’re looking for a bottle of wine. Not a new outfit.

Leon: Alfie and his family doesn’t drink. And I already got something for Alfie and Lina. I thought I already told you about that last week?

Nora: You did?

Leon: Yeah. Didn’t you remember? I sent you a picture of the gift.

Nora: Oh shit, wait, I think I remember now. Sorry.

Leon: *chuckles* It’s fine. I know you’re forgetful.

Nora: Don’t make fun of me.

Leon: *playfully* I’m not. I’m just stating the truth~

Nora: Urgh! You’re so mean.

Leon: *laughs* I’m kidding!

Nora: Not funny, Leon.

Leon: *chuckles* Sorry. I won’t do it again.

Nora: *sighs* I still can’t believe Lina and Alfie are finally getting married. I feel like it was just yesterday I’m hearing Lina complain about her fiancé being a jerk to her. But now, they’re crazy in love. It’s scary.

Leon: Why’d you think so?

Nora: I don’t know. Love is...weird. One time you hate each other’s gut, and then suddenly you can’t live without them.

Leon: And that’s scary to you?

Nora: Yeah. If that’s how easy it is for hate to change to love, it would be easy for the opposite to happen too.

Nora: Love comes and goes. You never know how long someone is going to love you and what would make the feeling go away. You could do all the things right and they would still fall out of love with you.

Leon: Well, that doesn’t seem like the case for those two. Alfie’s annoying as hell. I don’t know how Lina deals with that.

Nora: They’re just lucky, I guess. I wish everyone is as lucky as them.

Leon: Hey, everyone can have what they have if they work for it. Lina and Alfie had their issues but they both worked it out in the end.

Nora: That’s true. But that doesn’t make me feel less scared, y’know? My parents “tried” to work it out too but look where we are now.

Leon:...

Nora: Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.

Leon: It’s fine. I understand what you feel.

Leon: My parents never loved each other. They fight all the time when the cameras are off. I hated it. Sometimes I wish they would just get a divorce or separate.

Leon: But grandfather won’t let them. He said no matter what, the future King and Queen can never divorce.

Nora: I’m so sorry, Leon. I shouldn’t have complained about my parents when you had it worse.

Leon: Don’t worry about it. It didn’t really bother me anymore. Their marriage is not perfect but at least I learned something from it so I can treat my future wife better when I get married.

Nora: Whoever your future wife is, she’s one lucky lady.

Leon: Yeah. I hope she’ll feel that way.

Nora: C-come on. We better get going. My mom’s going to get worried if I return home late.

Leon: Okay, let me get changed first.

???: Yes, he’s with that girl. I’ll keep my eyes on them.

#sims story #sims storytelling #ts4 story #sims 4 story #ts4 storytelling #sims 4 storytelling #ts4 royal #ts4 legacy #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 roleplay #ts4 screenshots #ts4 simblr #WRTStory #WRT: Part 3 #Story Arc: Light and Daffodils #WRT: Leonora #Sim: Leon #Sim: Nora #Urgh these two are going to be the death of me 😩😩😩 #I love them sm your honour 😭😭😭 #Leonora is coming close to Alfina in terms of ships that I love 😤 #And bb Leon is just too adorable :((( My poor bb had to see his parents fight everyday 😔

[realityprofiler]

TAROT PAC - what will 2023 bring for you?

1….2…3

hii this is my first pac reading hope you enjoy!!

INSTRUCTIONS

look at all images and close your eyes. sit with them and pick which one you feel most drawn to.

ps… you can pick more than one if you feel drawn to them!

PILE 1

four of wands, the lovers, the sun

wow! 2023 is gonna be a great year for you pile 1. lots of love and romance this year. possibly a soulmate? wish i was making this up! (y’all are lucky hey!?) perhaps you’ll get invited to lots of parties this year or you’ll find your future romance at a party you go to this year. it’ll be super fun and you’ll be really satisfied with your partner. this year is gonna be your year. maybe there’s a celebration going on of some sorts? (birthday, graduation, etc) you’ll be really happy with family and friends gatherings. you might meet this future lover at a christmas party? (i’m getting that for some of you) others will be in the summer. if you’re working on a project this is a great year for completing and being satisfied in what you’re doing. lots of balance and happiness this year! go you pile 1 !!!

PILE 2

four of pentacles, five of cups rev, six of swords

this year you’ll complete a goal. this is something you’ve been working towards for a long time. when it comes you might be super possessive and insecure about it (perhaps it’s something material) spirit is saying to not be so greedy over material things. you’re gonna be financially stable if you aren’t already. it’s okay to be protective but don’t let it consume you. you’ll begin to mature and recover from your past. this could do something to do with past failures about your goal you’ll complete this year? have a proper acceptance of your past. it’s okay it didn’t work out before. everyday is a new start. no. a restart. remember these “failures” only made you more resilient. i’m also getting i should tell you that if something didn’t work out it’s because there’s something better coming! you’ll see!! once you get past this past hurt you’ll be able to accept the past and start moving forward!! the six of swords is all about leaving negative energy behind!! let go of whatever is holding you back, you’ve got this!

PILE 3

five of wands, ace of cups, the wheel of fortune.

inheritance im hearing IMMEDIATELY. it’s giving me knives out vibes?? perhaps that’s an important film for you pile 3. yeah conflict and disagreements within a group. (this could be a friend group as well) whoever y’all need to communicate what you want !!! communication is key. it’ll be hard since with the five of wands no one wants to listen to eachother. let everyone say what they want one by one… there’s lots of jealousy and greed here maybe you’re family is really unstable (aren’t they all?!?) i’m hearing, BE CIVIL. perhaps you’re going through a spiritual awakening this year and you’re learning to treat others the way you want to be treated. whatever emotional baggage you have you’ll be getting rid of it this year. it’ll give you a new perspective on this five of wands energy. turning over a new leaf? open up to love and communication. be optimistic and have faith in the universe!!!! some things we can’t control we can control how we react to things. find balance.

#free tarot #tarot reading #tarot pac #tarot readings #2023 #new year reading #goth #witchcraft #tarot witch

[lenathesingingcat]

For day 11 of @themiserablesmonth and the prompt “Wish”, here’s me projecting my own Tragic Backstory™️ and feeling better by doing so!

TW: discussion of an OC who killed themselves (off-page, nothing bad actually happens within the fic but it is talked about) and the effects that has on friends.

Wish You Could Be Here

Enjolras was often awake after midnight working on Les Amis’ activism, but what was unusual was for anyone he knew to be up at the same time, at least to his knowledge. That’s why the text confused him, but he read it through.

I miss you. I know you’ll never read this, but I wish I could talk to you, I wish I could see you again. I thought I’d got better, I’d stopped blaming myself for not messaging you enough, but then… I don’t know. I went to some karaoke place, and someone sung a song from a show you were in when we were little. When she sung the part about her child, about their bright, hopeful future, I just cried. Who knows what your future could have been… I just wish I could see you again, even just once.

Enjolras quickly texted back, This is my new number. I’m very sorry for your loss.

A new message arrived. I’m sorry. I never meant to disturb anyone, especially at this time of night, or, well, morning. Didn’t know this was anyone’s number, at least anymore.

It’s alright, I’m up late too, working. But it sounds like you need to talk to someone.

Maybe I do, but none of my friends even know about this. I’m not about to drag them into this now, when they all have bigger things to worry about.

Enjolras considered this, before replying, Well, how about me? I already know, and I could listen, or help you find someone more qualified than me. Your friends may have “bigger things to worry about”, but my priority is helping whoever needs it.

It was a few minutes before the person replied, and Enjolras started to worry, but then a reply came through. It isn’t really something I can express via text.

Then I’ll meet you. Do you know the Musain?

If you’re sure I won’t be bothering you was the reply, and this made Enjolras all the more sure.

I’m sure. Tomorrow, after lunch?

Don’t you mean today? was the reply, followed by, I’ll be there.

The next day, or the same day depending on how you look at it, Enjolras waited. To his surprise, Grantaire walked in. He probably shouldn’t have been too surprised, since all of Les Amis came here quite a lot, but he called him over.

Grantaire looked surprised too, but he sat down anyway. “Enjolras? What are you doing here?”

“I’m waiting for someone. I thought maybe if you don’t have anywhere to be, I could talk to you.”

“Actually, I am meeting someone here. Some random stranger who thinks they can solve all my problems. And before you try to tell me just how sketchy that sounds, I know, I’m still not sure if I’m about to get murdered. But then, that would solve my problems, wouldn’t it?” Grantaire tried to play it off as a joke, but Enjolras could see the sadness in his eyes.

And then it clicked.

“I can’t believe this! You were the one who texted me?”

“Impossible.” Grantaire seemed sure. “I have your number. I would have known I was talking to you.”

“I had to get a new number! Some people who are against our cause found out my number. I put all this on the groupchat for Les Amis, asking everyone to text my new number so I could add them to my phone, but…”

“That explains it. I’m not part of the group.”

Enjolras looked at him in surprise. “Why not? I sent you an invite to join…”

“Didn’t think it would make much difference. After all, I never contribute anything…”

“That’s not true, Grantaire. You point out how we could fail, and we use that to make our plans better. And… well, you make us happy. You make me happy. I know I’ve never expressed that before, but - ”

“And it seems pretty convenient that you suddenly express it when you find out that I need help! You think it’s your job to save everyone! But you can’t. I learned the hard way that some people can’t be saved from their own minds…”

“But most people can, and so we have to try. And you must understand. Look how much you’ve been hurt by what happened. Don’t do that to Les Amis.”

Grantaire looked at the floor for a moment. “I never thought of it that way…” he admitted. “Alright, I give in, if only for Les Amis, since you’re convinced I mean so much to them.” He laughed, then turned serious again. “Will you help me find help?”

“Of course.” Enjolras resisted the urge to pull Grantaire into a hug, to tell him the real reason why he needed Grantaire to stay. This wasn’t the time. If it went wrong between them now, that could make things much worse. So he would wait. And then he would be there.

#enjoltaire #exr #enjolras #grantaire

[fairweather-fangs]

19, 24

(=ooc, obviously=)

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

F tends not to get med often, so usually if he's upset it's over something big. F doesn't like to blow up and yell and make a scene, no, he's sneaky. If someone pisses him off they need be prepared for all their suffering to be done in private. His typical revenge scemes usually involve poisoning seeing as he has alot of those at his disposal and a poisoning can be passed off in a number of people. If someone make him really mad he'll probably wait until he's on a mission with them... in which case... they better hope all he dose is hit them with whatever weapon he's carrying because at least they'll be at his mercy, otherwise they should pray that whatever dangers one could expect to see on a mission don't claim them with their partner actively working against him.

It's risky but he gets away with it. The staff rarely suspect him of foul play ang god knows what he'd do to someone who snitches on him.

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Before F was in Wammys, he was in Foster care. He had alot of different families so there was alot of times things could have gone differently. For the most part, I think if his life went smoothly and he didn't loose a good portion of his foster parents to assorted incidents, then he probably woukd have attended school normally and probably gone into meteorology, seeing as he had a passion for the weather and climate. But that’s boring so we'll talk about things could have gone really bad (as opposed to his current life which is regular bad.)

One of F's last foster homes was a drug cartel using the foster system to get kids in order to make them run drugs for them. Aside from the drug trafficking, the kids were very well taken care of and given food, their own rooms, toys and advanced home schooling (of course, all of this was to ensure the sytem let them keep all the kids and allowed them to adopt more if they needed) F considered it to be one of his best foster home experiences and quite frankly wishes he could go back.

As a very intelligent child he quickly caught on to the inner workings of the drug trade and ahen he was sent to Wammys, he used his knowledge of drug trafficking to befriend a few okder kids who were the current Wammys House drug dealers. Years later of desperation for extra money, friends and a way to numb his own pain, F is the premier drug dealer of Wammys House.

Now, his days working for drug dealers was cut short as a child after the people runnibg the operation were killed by a rival gang and F was taken back into foster care. The difference here comes with the death of his drug dealing foster parents. Had they not died, it's safe to say F would have wanted to stay with them and eventually become a much more important gang leader. Judging by how a lofe of crime pays off for everyone in the Death Note world by late 2003, I imagine this route involves F having some heart complications later in life (That’s death by notebook if you couldn't tell)

Now had his drug family still died and he choose to retreat into the underworld to continue running drugs, things would definitely be darker. I can't say what exactly would hapoen to him, maybe he'd have to make it on his own, maybe he'd get picked up along they way by someone kind enough to take care of him, maybe whoever finds him wouldn't be so kind. Either way, he still has drug dealing in his future. One the timeline where he has to make it on his own though, I don't see him retaining his mellow, more kind personality and being much more aggressive and cruel. Similar to himself now but only under certain circumstances. Either way, unless he masterminds himself into never beung caught, I still see him being killed by Kira at some point in the future.

#ooc posts #f headcannons #I like these questions I get to explore F's darker sides tehe

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — Anonymous asked: — ⚅

⚅ — You were right, no one wants to hear what you have to say. Why would they? You're useless. No one needs you, not even Joshua, now that he has Hope. Every single person you love feels unloved, unloveable, do you really think that's a coincidence? No. You make them feel that way.

You push a sense of closeness onto everyone around you to fuel your own ego, your own desires, and are unwilling to consider any other kinds of relationships. You miss the warmth and comfort of your own family, and you try to fill that hole with impressionable, troubled "kids" who you claim to adopt. But what kind of parent has a favorite child, Sanae? How do you think Joel felt when you told him that? How do you think it feels to always play second-fiddle to a whiny, entitled brat who has done nothing but hurt you, who won't even let you avenge your own daughter?

Oh, but he lets you hug him. And kiss him. And where would you be without that? That's why you cling so hard, why you let him mistreat you--you would be so cold and lonely without him, and you couldn't stand that. It doesn't matter how subpar you think his personality is, because he shuts right up when you're giving him affection, anyways, and don't you love it when he does that?

Ah, well, don't let me stop you from continuing to ruin the lives of everyone you decide to "adopt." I hope the next old man who bumps foreheads with you and calls you "Kitten" is somehow able to love you back. — ⚅

Insult the Muse!

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

It takes Hanekoma a moment to respond to this. There was so much vehemence in it, and it was almost hateful in its delivery. He wondered if he had done something to hurt this person in the past. Or maybe it was just the case of someone trying so hard it was coming off as desperate...

In any case, it wasn't entirely wrong. He had made terrible mistakes, and he had to acknowledge that. He couldn't act like nothing happened. It was the current that really had any sway on things, though. Not that he should forget these past transgressions, but that he should move forward anyway. That was the name of the game, wasn't it? Move forward anyway.

He pulled a grin at his customer and turned to pour them a coffee float, "In the midst of all that, you still found a way to wish me happiness in the future? That's sweet'a ya, boss~ Mm... In all seriousness, though, you gotta know all that stuff, that... Those bad memories? They're just that. I have to do what I can to atone for that... Ah, but... That's probably not a satisfying answer, is it?"

He glanced over his shoulder to spy his guest, judging the weight in their posture before returning to his work. This one was coming along nicely, and it has was sure the dollop of ice cream would soften them up a bit.

"Let me address everything you've talked about, one at a time... I am... Painfully aware of just how much no one needs me. It's one of my biggest... Ah... Hurdles, I guess. I'm not supposed to call 'em problems anymore. Negative language, ya know. But yeah. That's something I gotta work on. Well, I just see it this way, now: if I'm not needed, all the better. That means they're doin' good, or they're on the road to doin' good. I shouldn't want someone to need me. Emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I want everyone to be independent and happy with their lives. And I'm glad Joshua is finding help in others. I want him to make more friends and family. It's good for 'im. It's a good step. It doesn't bother me if that pulls him away from me. He's free to live his life with whoever he wants to. I'll always be here for him either way. Mm... I dunno if I would agree that I'm the reason they feel that way, though, boss. We've all got our own hurdles to get over."

He finished brewing the coffee and scooped out the ice cream, being sure to doll it up a bit before he spun around and carefully placed the glass before his guest. If there was no one else in the café at the time, he was happy to show off his skills and be flashy here.

"Now, when it comes to my trying to use them to replace my own family, you're... Kind of right. I'll give ya that. I've got this big old hole in my chest, boss, and I wanna fill it with all the warmth and love and happiness that I miss from 'em. And so I try to build a family with those people I get invested in. And yeah, maybe I could learn to chill a little about that. After all, not everyone wants that outta me. Haz, too, he didn't wanna be that close. So... I'm learning to step back and respect their boundaries. That's something I'm working on right now. The reason I told Joel about how I felt was because I didn't want him to feel blindsided by that information later, or suddenly understand it to then feel as if he wasn't important because of it. And I didn't want him to feel lied to in case he already knew. Lemme give ya a little secret, boss. Most parents have favorites. I bet even single kids have parents who play favorites among their friends. But that's not what this is. My connection to Joshua is on a whole other kinda level. We're soulmates, I truly believe that. Bound by countless universes. He's literally the one person I am destined to be tied to, no matter what. Of course I love him most. I can't help that. But when your heart's as big as mine, there's plenty'a room, and that's the important thing."

And finally he leaned forward, pressed his elbows against the counter and he lowered himself down and gazed over his glasses at the other, really sized them up. He couldn't help how his smile got just a little bigger, how proud he was of himself for holding these truths in his hands and being able to look them full force, dead in the eye.

"Aaaand, about your little comment? I can truly say that I wish that for myself, too, one'a these days. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a part'a me still wishes it could be the obvious, but that's done and over. And I'm movin' on. I'm not holding out for anything, of course, but if I stumble into love, maybe I'll try a little harder next time, eh?"

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #mentioned: kingsmedley #mentioned: hopeful hugz #mentioned: fallenphxtxgrapher #mentioned: pureposer #long post tw #//CUT BECAUSE IT'S VV LONG GUYS

[loosesodamarble]

Happy New Year!

So Happy New Year to my followers and the random people who stumble upon my blog~!

2022 was a heck of a year, I'll say that. I've made new online friends. I've worked so many hours at my part-time job. I graduated from university. I caught COVID (twice! Nice little bookends to 2022 which says a lot).

Busy busy year.

I don't have anything deep or profound to say regarding the new year. All I have is this.

I'm hoping that 2023 is a nicer year to everyone. I hope everyone finds a sense of peace, something that makes them happy, people who help them out, and treat themselves to a few luxuries. 💖

And with the new year wishes out of the way, time for a announcement for my followers.

..........

The poll for my 300 follower special is now closed. The results are in.

For the special, there will be 2 event options open for requesting.

Thankfully, the tie between "Character Headcanons" and "OC Interactions" that I mentioned a little bit ago was broken. And winning by one vote was "OC Interactions." The other event option, getting nearly 60% of the votes was "CC & Reader scenarios (familial, platonic, or romantic)."

The scenarios shall be written based on prompts predetermined by myself.

The prompt style shall be quotes. The prompts are both lines of dialogue and prose/narration which would be worked into the scenario.

The & Reader scenarios will also be open to OCs. There won't be a separate category for OCs. So it's "CC & Reader/OC scenarios."

And finally, I will only be accepting a limited number of requests rather than accepting all the requests that come in during a certain window of time.

And finally, it's time to reveal my favorite answers to the question: On a scale of "Would Throw You at Muzan's Feet For Fun" to "Is Planning Josele's Wedding to the Faust Twins", how much do you like me?

In no particular order, these were the stand outs to me.

I think my absolute favorite is whoever is putting Muzan on a leash to bring him to the wedding. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Although to the person planning a wedding to me... 😳 You flatter me...

And the person who thinks I could fight three big bad villains. I see you. I would slaughter the three of them if given the opportunity. So thank you.

They're all very fun! Thank you to everyone who contributed to the poll!

Look forward to an event post in the near future!

And again, Happy New Year!

#soda asides #happy new year~! #300 follower special

[daydreamerdrew]

Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

Captain America (2017) #695-700

These issues were published across November 2017 to April 2018, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Mark Waid, drawn by Chris Samnee, and colored by Matthew Wilson.

Issues #695-697 were all stand-alone stories, part of an arc called “Home of the Brave,” as Steve was road-tripping through the United States in search of a new place to settle down. He explains this in issue #696 as, “I’m tired of being a couch-surfer. I haven’t had my own place in years that wasn’t subsidized by S.H.I.E.L.D. or Tony Stark or whoever before all that went away. Which always tied me to the New York area.”

I found the Captain America event in issue #695 endearing. And I liked Steve’s ethos of “The strong protect the weak,” told to a child at one point as “You have to protect Jacob. [..] Because he’s smaller than you.” I was surprised by the depiction, in a flashback to back when Steve had only recently been unfrozen, that Captain America had been largely forgotten and people didn’t recognize him. I’ve elsewhere seen it portrayed that he was remembered as an important historical figure and him being discovered to still be alive was a big deal. In issue #696, when Steve’s encouraged to take steps to prevent being recognized so that he’s not bombarded by fans and reporters wherever he goes, he says, “It’s not something I give a lot of thought to, to be honest.” Steve’s relationship to media attention is something I find really interesting. This portrayal is simple, but it works for the character. Also, I liked how casual he was at the end of the issue about saving a town. And I enjoyed the opening scene of issue #697, where Steve is casually chatting with a woman in a bar.

Issue #698 is where things really kicked off for me as a reader, with the storyline “Out of Time,” which went from there to issue #700. In this story Steve is frozen in ice once again, only to be woken up in a dystopic America where almost all of the heroes he knew are dead. In issue #698 Steve learns about this new America he’s found himself in, and resolves to “take our country back.” Issue #699 is that overthrow of the corrupt elite. And then in issue #700 Steve struggles to rebuild America from there.

In issue #698 Steve says to Liang, the character who becomes his primary ally in this dystopian future, “‘Doesn’t it destroy you to find out your life’s work left no impact?’ Is that your question? Because I’m trying not to think about it. Right now, I have a job to do.”

In issue #699 she says, “I know you wish you were back home.” He responds, “‘Home’ is wherever my country needs me, Liang. But yes, I do. Still, I’ve made this sort of leap across time before. And like the last one… I need to make peace with the fact that it’s probably a one-way trip.”

Issue #700 is where things got emotional for me. 80 days into building “New America,” Steve is offered a way to go back in time for prevent the apocalypse from ever happening, which he turns down. He explains, “What if all that does is create an alternate timeline? How would that fix the here and now? Or what if I go back in time and somehow fail? That takes me off the board altogether, and then how many more of us die?” At this point in time Steve ultimately believes that, “Your reality is theoretical. Mine is concrete. Real lives versus hypotheticals. […] I can’t abandon this fight. I promised to make this right, and I can.”

But it’s not easy, and 349 days in they suffer a crushing blow, which causes Steve to have a change of heart. He dismisses his earlier mentality as “over-confident” and says he should, “think, not just act. I’ve been ordering my men not to waste energy dying on every hill, but that’s the problem- I don’t know how to stop. I never did.” He says, “Hope is not a plan,” which is called, “the least Captain America thing I ever heard.” And he says that at this point he can either give or accept the Hail Mary, and “I don’t know how to give up.”

Steve is sent back to right when he was frozen in ice, and right before the nuclear bombs were launched. He quickly attacks the villain’s base, but the bombs were still activated. It takes Steve sacrificing himself, with only seconds to spare, to save the world. His final words were him accepting, “I don’t know how to stop. I never did. Hope is not a plan. But you sure as hell can’t win without it.” I had already thought that the way Chris Samnee drew Steve going back in time was beautiful, but the way he drew Steve burning up to parallel that was so impactful. This Steve dies, but the frozen Steve is broken out of the ice by the explosion. And he goes on with his life having no idea about his other self’s sacrifice or experiences in the future. He does happen to come across Liang, but the meeting has no emotional significance to either of them.

The Avengers (1963) #39

This issue was published in February 1967, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Roy Thomas, penciled by Don Heck, and inked by George Roussos.

In previous issues Hank was particularly suspicious of Natasha. In issue #38 he voiced that he wouldn’t stand for her being allowed to officially join the Avengers. She’d been hanging around for a while as Clint’s girlfriend. But Natasha, who’d previously expressed that she wanted to be an official Avenger, shocked them all by announcing that she was breaking up with Clint and leaving the country. She’d been recruited by Nick Fury for a spy mission and was specifically asked to not tell anyone the truth about what she was doing. She’d hoped that by hurting Clint’s feelings she’s stop him from following her, which would endanger him. Hank surprised me during this by saying, “There must be more to this than meets the eye! I may not be a charter member of your fan club, Widow- But I had never figured you for sellin’ out,” before accepting that she was probably telling the truth about her intentions.

In this issue it’s public knowledge that Natasha betrayed the country, and Hank surprised me again by not believing it, saying that, “there’s some reason for her acts! There must be!” The rest of the Avengers are skeptical, too, but Hank seems to me to be the most vocal one. Clint is the exception. He actually left the scene before this conversation, and when he speaks elsewhere on his own he’s expresses that he’s plotting to find Natasha, “Then, maybe- just maybe- I can talk some sense into her- Before it’s too late!”

There’s also a scene at S.H.I.E.L.D. with Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, and Jasper Sitwell. Jasper questions, “But, Colonel- Are you positive she can be trusted?” Nick Fury responds, “We got no choice, Sitwell! We gotta trust her!” This is of particular interest to me because I’m already interested in Natasha and Nick’s relationship, and I like Jasper and it’s stated in Winter Soldier (2012) that Natasha particularly got along well with him.

DC Comics:

Batman (2016) #25-32

These issues were published across June 2017 to October 2017 according to the Grand Comics Database. I’m continuing working through rereading Tom King’s Batman run.

Issues #25-26 and #28-29 and #31-32 were “The War of Jokes and Riddles” storyline. All were drawn by Mikel Janín, except that Hugo Petrus also worked on the inking of issue #29. All were colored by June Chung. Issues #27 and #30 were ‘interlude’ stories, though still strongly related, titled “The Ballad of Kite-Man.” Both were penciled by Clay Mann. Issue #27 was inked by Danny Miki, John Livesay, and Clay Mann, and was colored by Gabe Eltaeb. And issue #30 was inked by Seth Mann, and was colored by Jordie Bellaire.

I remember not liking this arc the first time I read the book. It worked better for me this time, but I think that’s partially because there’s been a little bit of time since I read the first 24 issues of this book. Those first four storylines and what they meant for Bruce’s character were of more interest to me, but this time there was more distance for me as a reader from that more intriguing storytelling.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (1989) #16-20

These issues were published across February 1991 to June 1991, according to the Grand Comics Database. All were written by Denny O’Neil. The layouts of all of the issues were drawn by Trevor Von Eeden, which were finished by Russ Braun, and then inked by José Luis García-López. This was the “Venom” storyline, in which Bruce became addicted to and then recovered from an early version of the villain Bane’s fictional drug.

I wasn’t really that into this one. I’ll note that the previous storylines in this book have each followed chronologically near the start of Bruce’s career as Batman, including as part of the stories the creation of the Batcave, the Batmobile, ect. This arc is the first departure from that. Nothing indicates that this story takes place towards the beginning of Bruce’s career as Batman, and also the opening narration of the first issue refers to the story as being reflected upon from the future.

Action Comics (2016) #1064

This issue was published this month, April 2024. It was written by Joshua Williamson, drawn by Rafa Sandoval, and colored by Alejandro Sánchez.

I pretty much said everything I wanted to say about this issue here.

#comics read this past week #my posts

[rejaytionships]

archive: first rosemary fic from april 2022

[cw for abuse mentions]

---

Exhausted. Afraid. Anxiously awaiting for her husband to fall asleep.

These were words used to describe twenty-six year old Valerie Barrett, the small-town girl who could have been. The successful financial career she had was stunted when she was engaged and wed by one of her coworkers, thirty-three year old Roy Barrett. Who seemed once like a charming, charismatic alpha male slowly started to show his true colours. He would belittle Valerie’s work, he would make crude comments on the job about her, he would convince her she wasn’t good enough for the position she spent her whole life to enter.

Things took their biggest dive when Roy demanded Valerie deny a promotion, as it would have meant she would spend more time at work, while Roy was hoping Valerie could cut back work hours to instead raise a future family. When Valerie refused, Roy took the liberty of rejecting the promotion himself, subtly making his wife look less and less competent at the job and definitely in no place to handle any more responsibility. It took her a while to find out why the idea of promotion was suddenly off the table.

They tried for a kid, and tried, and tried. After a year of failure to carry a child to term, or even carry at all, Roy grew from tired to frustrated to belligerent, even going so far as to accuse Valerie of intentionally sabotaging their family for her selfish reasons. He became more controlling, more irritable, more… violent. Valerie told herself it was just grief manifesting in intense manners, that Roy truly loved her no matter what.

Which is why it was so hard to find out Roy had been curating an affair behind Valerie’s back. It was seemingly just her husband being overly friendly with a fellow female co-worker, but that optimistic reality faded away when her husband started going on more frequent “business trips”, or when she had found garments not belonging to her in their shared room. She asked Roy, who blatantly denied what was happening and called her delusional; he even had the gall to accuse her of cheating instead and spinning the blame to get people off of her case. She was met with more anger, more belligerence, more hurt.

Valerie couldn’t take it anymore.

The radio in the kitchen beside her was on low volume, as a radio show host started to describe the recent outbursts of alleged “alternate” encounters. How people were apparently being taken away from their families by horrifying creatures with no humanity to them. Valerie scoffed; it simply sounded like her husband had been getting around.

Part of her wished they would take him next.

She turned the radio off as she finished cleaning her last plate, listening in carefully and praying her husband was finally asleep; the snoring emitting from her bedroom confirmed her hopes. Quietly, she moved to her back porch, sitting on a beautifully carved birch wood chair. Letting out a deep exhale, she gazed up at the sky before closing her eyes.

She began praying under her breath. Someone, anyone, please save her. Save her from this fate, from her husband. The God she stopped believing in, any other God, even the alternates coming upon them. Even if she had to go down as payment, she wanted him to go down with her, too. Whoever would come to help, she would do anything to repay them.

But it was no use. Prayers, never get answered, right?

She opened her eyes, and was mortified to see a pair of eyes staring right back at her. She wanted to scream, cry, anything; but a lump in her throat held her silent.

“Do not be afraid,” the figure in front of her calmly spoke. “I bring you good news.”

Valerie gawked upon the being floating in front of her face; it looked almost angelic, but something seemed… off about it. She couldn’t place quite what, though. It could have just been the feeling of utter shock that this moment was real. “... God?”

The figure let out a low chuckle. “I am the angel Gabriel. I have come to bring you good news.”

“Gabriel…” Valerie murmured. “Have you come to answer my prayer?”

“Your prayer was heard, Valerie. Soon shall you be free again.”

Tears swelled in her eyes. Was this real? She pinched her skin to see if she would wake up.

The angel, Gabriel, took notice. “My sweet child, you are not dreaming. I come to you in the flesh, awake and alive.”

Valerie moved off of her chair and onto her knees, bowing into a prayerful position. “How would I become free, Gabriel?”

“Lay your head to rest. When you awaken, he will be gone. Then you shall rejoice!”

“Where… would he be going?”

The angel’s smile grew wider, almost eerily so. “The Lord works in mysterious ways, o little lamb.”

Valerie took this as her hint to not press on further, despite the chilling sensation running down her back. “Thank you, Gabriel. Thank you and thank the Lord, for taking pity upon a non-believer.”

“Your heart is pure.” Gabriel reached a hand out, hovering it just above Valerie’s head. “Believe once more, and you shall be forgiven in His eyes. Devote yourself to Him. Devote yourself to me.” His voice seemed to permeate Valerie’s head; despite being quieter, it felt loud and clear inside of her head.

Valerie gazed up at the glowing figure. “For your graciousness, Gabriel, I shall do what you please.” She bowed her head once more.

Gabriel’s smile grew greatly, his jaw appearing to extend past what should be possible. His eyes were opened wide, his face growing darker and more ominous. He placed his hand upon Valerie’s head finally, bending down to place his mouth close to her ear. “Devote yourself to me,” he whispered repetitively, as if it was subliminal messaging.

He placed a soft kiss upon Valerie’s forehead before returning to standing position, his facial features back to normal. “Rest now, my lamb. In the morning, you shall see that your prayer has been fulfilled.”

Valerie stood up, taking Gabriel’s hand in her own. She looked into his eyes; angels should have been beings of light and safety, so why was Gabriel’s gaze so eerie? Perhaps the Bible took some creative liberties. It was no matter, she was still allegedly being saved. “I would hope so,” she grinned, lightly shaking the angel’s hand before heading back inside.

She made her way to her bedroom, carefully getting ready and laying down for bed quietly enough as to not wake her husband in his final moments with her. She closed her eyes, hearing only the ambiance of the outside.

And soon also, the static of a presence in Valerie’s house. It inched closer to her by the second, stopping right above where her husband was resting. She cracked her eyes open just enough to see what was happening, but not enough to be noticeably awake. To her horror, a dark creature was hovering above Roy, its long claws scraping against his face. “Roooy,” it called to him, in her voice. “Darling, breakfast is ready,” the beast cooed.

Valerie fully closed her eyes again. She could hear her husband wake up in exhausted grumbling. She could hear him ask what breakfast was doing ready at such an early hour. She could then hear his scream of horror as he processed what was on top of him. She heard it for so long, and then it stopped in a sudden halt. She didn’t bother opening her eyes. Was this truly God’s doing, or were the suspicious feelings from the angel — the entity posing as an angel — starting to show itself as a correct interpretation?

She felt a presence move above her. The ringing in her ears grew louder and louder. “Valerieee,” it called to her in her husband’s voice. “Why aren’t you awake yet? I’m so hungry…”

Somehow, the creature masquerading as her husband seemed less threatening than the real deal. The creature Valerie was certain she should have been afraid of.

A second voice cut in. “Not her,” it simply stated in a low tone; it sounded familiar.

That was the last thing she heard before consciousness was stolen from her.

It wasn’t until the sun had been long in the sky that she had awoken to the same voice. “Wake up, Valerie Desrosiers,” it beamed. “Wake up and rejoice!”

Valerie rubbed her eyes, sitting up slowly. She turned to the source of the voice; Gabriel was in her room, on the side of her bed that her husband once laid upon. “Desrosiers…?” Valerie questioned tiredly.

“Is that not your name, my lamb?” Gabriel seemed to inch closer, although it did not appear like he moved a muscle. “Shall I refer to you as Barrett?”

Valerie felt herself cringe. Barrett. Such a hideous name. “Desrosiers is fine.”

Gabriel grinned. “Then it shall be your name forever more. The man you once feared shall have no control over you. Your devotion has given you freedom.”

Valerie looked around the room; it was as if Roy left without a trace. “Will I see him at work?” she asked, a twinge of fear present in her tone.

“As I shall see to it, he will never grace your presence another day.”

Valerie lit up, but her light died as fast as it was born. “What about my boss? Wouldn’t he worry if my husband was no longer at work?”

Gabriel placed a hand on Valerie’s shoulder. “Fear not, my lamb. You shall tell him your truth. Do you know where Roy Barrett has gone?”

Valerie thought for a second before shaking her head. “I guess not, no.”

“Then that is what you shall tell him.”

“But… didn’t I have something to do with him being gone?” Valerie felt her throat swell up. “What if he knows?”

“Dear child, all will be fine. Return to your daily life and say not a word of your prayer. As long as you are devout to me, I shall see that you never falter.”

Valerie’s chest grew tighter and tighter. Gabriel radiated mal-intent, yet all of his words and actions brought her comfort and safety. He had to be connected to the supposed alternate spikes, right? It would be a wild coincidence for an “angel” to show up and promise that her husband will no longer bother her, only for a creature reminiscent of the alternates of the tales on the radio to snatch him away. Just what was this entity hiding?

Gabriel’s brow furrowed. “Is there any doubt in your heart?” His grip on Valerie’s shoulder grew tighter.

Valerie gulped. “Ah, no, Gabriel!” she spat out. “I simply… need time to process. This is a very big change, holy one.”

“That is… understandable.” Gabriel’s grip loosened, moving slowly down her arm and stopping at her hand; he entwined his fingers with hers. “Miracles are a sight to behold. Nevertheless, you must get on with your day.” He placed a kiss gracefully onto the back of Valerie’s hand. “Shall you ever need me, you may reach out with prayer.” The angel — entity — let go of Valerie’s hand and stood up. “And you shall most certainly need me, always,” he whispered lowly.

Before Valerie could even answer, she blinked, and Gabriel vanished. It was only her now, seemingly alone again… right?

She prepared for her day at work, wondering what will entail now that she has been seen by a powerful force. How long until the being that showed her mercy eventually turns? How long until her blessings become curses?

She prayed, internally, that it would not be for a while.

#jay's jots #rosemary #valerie desrosiers