#so basically eri is pregnant with !!! kids !!

[hakusins]

cw // cursing, foul language, ooc?

doing whatever it takes to survive ~

whitney x eri (my pc) for @digenerate-trash's apocalypse/forgotten AU. thank you for making such a fun AU idea !!! so the story is that eri is pregnant with kids and originally was from robin's faction, though there had been incidents that occurred to some other pregnant members of robin's faction and she decided it's not safe there anymore and needed to move to whitney's faction.

small note: i made the first two panels when the AU was still just a suggestion HBJERFBHJERF so there's a lot of inconsistencies, such as them being outside when thats supposed to be dangerous 🥹! just pretend they're in a room safe and away from windows.

#LORD I CANT WITH THE DIALOGUE #I WAS SO EMBATRRASED PLS #I HAD TO ASK A MOOT TO PLS PROOFREAD LIKE do you think whitney would say this shit #BHJERFHEBJRFHJERF #bUT YEAH #i wanted to try making more plot-related stuff hehehe... #and also i missed making comics 🥺🥺🥺 #also imm so sorry for my handwriting HBRBHEFJHBERF #i was just SO EXCITED TO GET THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD #so basically eri is pregnant with !!! kids !! #eri the orphan #dol pc #dol #dol related #degrees of lewdity #forgotten au / apocalypse au #digenerate-trash #fan art #art #mine #my fan art #my art #whitney the bully #whitney x pc #dol whitney #comic

[theladyofbloodshed]

I want it to be chaos ngl. People thought Eris is Beron son when LoA and Helion have a hell of their own escapadies when LoA first got engaged to Beron.

And people thought Lucien is Helion son since he is born short of 9 month. With eris viper like toubge and sweet innocent lucient, imagine the chaos when Helion figured out Eris. Eris vanserra that he hated so much is his first born son.

Can you imagine? Compare to Lucien, Eris is older and have experienced the most abused from Beron since he is um, the first born. Lucien, at least got out of the Autumn Court.

But Eris as Helion firstborn? I live for the drama. I want Helion Thigh-Cleaver to suffer from the truth of Eris as his son. Helion wailed, cried, just suffer basically.

The drama 🫠😘

Hear me out though:

She meets Helion at a ball (when courts presumably mingled)

Beron asks LoA to marry him

She waits a year before she marries Beron (because women have autonomy in prythian lmao)

How long is a fae pregnancy?? about 10 months - almost a year - but LoA seems to be "fertile" considering she's had 7 kids when it's difficult for high fae

Helion only became high lord utm because the previous high lord was killed which means he was not super powerful when they met - and both of them were likely to be in their 20s

If LoA was pregnant with Helion's baby but betrothed to Beron, he could enact the blood duel and kill Helion quite easily

What's the best option to protect Helion, herself, AND her unborn child?

Get married to Beron and raise the child as his

#its weird because info about beron is so conflicting #everybody says he's horrid etc #then we see him not willing to sacrifice his people #not wanting to rush into war #holding his wife's hand to comfort her about her sisters' murder #clearly has ruled for a long time and has an army that follows him considering he's still in charge and not murdered #doesnt immediately believe rhys and wants proof #stops and listens to nesta's story #anon asks

[zuffer-weird-girl]

@honeybee246axolotl

"How long?" Your husband muttered, eyes transfixed on your belly that was growing but still not the size for someone to notice right away you were pregnant.

"The doctor said it was about 2 months. But the gender we will only discover when I reach around 18 or 21 weeks."

"Five months then." He muttered in a matter of a fact tone as you snorted.

"Pops seems excited." You giggled while your husband grimaced at the memory of the elder discovering you were pregnant.

Is not that it was a bad thing, is just that he knew how much that old man was going to be breathing down on his neck when this kid os born. Asides from Eri, pops will consider his son or daughter their grandkids too. And due to the leader's daughter not allowing Pops to have contact with Eri, it resulted that practically his kid is going to be his first real experience to have a grandchild.

So that made his fear come to the air. Pops wouldn't shut up about it. Meaning that as soon as the precepts, mimic and Chrono got to know... it was basically a green card for teasing... for those who had the courage to at least.

"Too excited even..." he grimaced again as you couldn't help but smile.

"Oh come on, don't be grouchy." You bumped your shoulder with him as you guys walked back home "I'm sure he will respect your pleadings to not tell the others or other yakuza for a while."

"I doubt it. He never listens to me." He answered bitterly as the gage of the yakuza house opened. As soon as Chisaki made you enter first you were met with Mimic, in his human form, and Chrono looking at you with wide eyes.

Chisaki sensed immediately as he got to your side with a poker face as usual.

"Chrono, Mimic. Spit it out why are you looking at us like that." Although he was pretty sure he had a feeling what was it.

"Uh..." chrono stuttered while in complete shock as Mimic opened his mouth and closed at least three times.

You and your husband looked at each other for a bit before looking at the entrance of the house to spot Pops with a not so sorry expression.

"Oh for crying out-" Kai was about to growl until Mimic decided to open his mouth.

"YoU KnOckEd Up YoUR ChICk OvErHaUL?!"

Safe to say mimic was overhauled the exact same moment right there in the yard.

.

.

"You couldn't just keep your mouth shut could you old man?" Kai growled at the smirking elder as you sighed at the attitude of your husband.

"You want me to keep a secret that will eventually come out rather you like it or not? Just yank over the bandage for once." The elder chuckled before crossing his arms "Besides, they have to know. Your son or daughter will be on the line of the Hassaikai after all."

"He has a point dear." You pointed out as Chisaki glared at you "I mean, what would be the excuse when I start to get bigger?"

"That's your business and no one has the right to speak to you about it." He growled before standing up and taking your hand in his "We will be out."

"What? Can't I at least know how the doctor went?" The elder chuckled as Chisaki growled out a "no".

"I will tell you later." You mouthed to Pops as he smiled in gratitude to you.

"Congratulations Master." You two ended up running into Tengai, Nemoto and Rappa on he way "I'm sure this child will only bring breat fortune to you and your wife's life." Nemoto spoke while you smiled at the man as Tengai bowed his head at you.

"You will do as a great mother for master Overhaul's kid miss (L/n). I'm praying this kid will be the healthiest."

Chisaki cringed internally at the thought of his kid having a illness, settling an certain type of new anxiety forming inside his chest even though outside he showed nothing but disinterest.

"Hope this parasite don't get Overjerk's genes or else you will be fucked." Rappa mumbled out as nemoto tengai and you widened your eyes.

Chisaki merely but sighed before taking off his gloves and green jacket before glaring at the buff.

"Two."

.

.

"I think you're getting too worked up for this honey..." You mumbled as he left the shower with an arched eyebrow "You overhauled just today Mimic, Rappa, Setsuno for asking if the kid was really yours and Deidoro for commenting how fat I was gonna get."

His eyes darkened at the mention of the last one.

"That's just straight up disrespect towards my wife. Apologies for trying to defend your honor." He groaned, sounding more like a child being scolded, as he went to change himself as you sighed with a chuckle.

"Kai he was drunk."

"That's not a excuse." He said over his shoulder as finally got something to cover his manhood before feeling your hands from behind him, for a moment his body responded with being rigid hut as soon as your fingers started to massage his shoulder he let himself relax with a sigh.

"Don't stress over this too much love. Now that the cat's out of the bag we can be a little bit relieved.. is not good to keep secrets all of the time, it can be very stressful." You mumbled before your lips kissed the crook of his neck gently, sending a shiver down his spine.

At your words his mind immediately went back to Eri... how he never allowed himself to tell you what he dared to do with that girl. He had given up due to you mostly but... he did felt a huge stress fill his mind whenever he reminds of that. And he refused still to talk with you about that.

"Indeed." He sighed, noticing how you still hadn't let go of his nude form "Are you going to let me change or just cling to me all day?"

"I like the latter one better." You whispered in his pierced ear as he shivered once again at your touch sliding down from his chest to near his V line.

"You're such a menace." He groaned, mentally slapping himself for getting excited over just a couple of touches and kisses from you.

"But you like me that way..." You whispered seductively before standing right in his front "After all you did 'knock me up'." You smirked at his pale face getting red as he clicked his tongue.

"Besides, I think both of us need a bit of relaxation after the stress of your commurates knowing you will be a father so-"

"Don't mention then while I'm literally about to ruin you." He muttered in anger before scopping you and throwing you on the bed "Enjoy this while you can because when this pest gets bigger we're not doing this." He spoke between heated kisses.

"You do know you won't poke the baby with your dick right?" You giggled as he stopped kissing you to glare right into your eyes above you.

"Why are you the mother of my kid again?"

"Because you fell for me. Deal with it." You poke your tongue out as he growled before going to kiss before a knock on the door interrupted you two.

Chisaki immediately sighed in annoyance while going to grab clothes to cover himself up and when he answered it he was pretty much pissed off at seeing Pops and Chrono standing there.

"So, I was thinking about Kurono being the godfather-"

"GET OUT!"

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha villains x reader #zuffer writings #bnha villains #chisaki family #chisaki family au

[achaotichuman]

A Field Of Dahlias

Notes:

Finally free of the Mountain and Amarantha's grip on the people. The Spring Court is scrambling to get back to normal. With their wedding not far away, Tamlin is struggling to keep his Court from falling into disarray. When he starts to get sick things begin to take a turn for the worse and worser.

When Feyre is taken by the Lord of Night, it doesn't look like anything it can get any worse. With his life experience Tamlin should know that things can always get worse.

Request- Do you think you could write about dahlia in this context: https://www.tumblr.com/praetorqueenreyna/737196004108058624?source=share, hopefully featuring deadbeat at first mom feyre, horrified stepdad rhysand, tired of it all tamlin and a supportive lucien/eris.

Anyway here is this little fic. Also here is part 1, part 2, and part 3 if you missed 'em. You can also read this on Squidgeworld, or AO3.

Also! I am now realizing I have strayed entirely from what the original prompt was, which was basically the exact same events of Acomaf and Acowar just with the added inclusion of Tamlin being pregnant with Feyre's kid. Buuuut this is my story and I shall do as I please.

Plus if I rewrote the entirety of the Acomaf and Acowar books this would be unnecessarily long and I would lose all interest, so in an effort to keep things fun I have pretty much scraped the entire plot of Acowar and made it my own.

I think my ideas are more fun anyway. But when I tell you this plot is was deeper than I meant it to be, I mean it.

Anyway enjoy!

Tag- @sonics-atelier (Anyone who wants to be on the tag list, feel free to ask me!)

____________________________________________________

The next few days passed, each seeming longer than the rest. Meetings with Hybern that lasted hours, and keeping the mask glued to her face. 

Lucien often found his way to the former human, snarking with him in the corner, sharpening his tongue and finding every way to irk the General. 

Though it seemed Jurian entertained his game with insane eyes and a twisted grin. Lucien met it with skilled words and smart replies. Watching them dance around each other as they practically sized the other up was entertaining in it’s own way, Tamlin supposed. 

Tamlin found herself coming into contact with the woman in robes more often than she liked. 

Lady Amber, with her cunning mouth and smart eyes, she was a threat. A cruel snake in tall grass. Always lurking around the corners in the shadows. Watching with slanted eyes, everytime she opened her mouth Tamlin expected to see a forked tongue. 

After a meeting, Lucien remained engaged with Jurian in whatever talk they had found. Jurian watched him with a cocked head and eyes that barely blinked. He looked as though he had lost it. 

Tamlin slipped away from the meeting. A murmured goodbye to the Lords and an apology that she would not stay later. Hybern had brushed her off as he spoke to another Lord, and Tamlin was too tired to snap for a response. 

Passing through the cold hallways, she kept her eyes ahead, watching the crawling shadows. A chill ran down over her skin, showering her in goosebumps. 

As she walked over wooden floors. Dark green dress whispering around her ankles, she almost wished she had just grabbed Lucien, or someone to escort her. 

She hated this place. Hated every room, every reminder of the woman who had made her life hell for so long. 

But that would be stupid, she knew her way back to her room, and didn’t need someone to hold her hand. 

But as she turned a corner, Tamlin nearly jumped. 

Lady Amber stared at him, with her cruel icy eyes. Tamlin took a quick step back, one hand subconsciously going to her womb, the other falling to her thigh, where a concealed dagger laid. 

“Lady Amber, I didn’t expect to see you.” Tamlin told her. 

“Just taking a breath of fresh air.” She smiled. Even her voice sent chills down her spine. 

“I see,” Tamlin replied, “Well, you enjoy yourself, I must be getting to my rooms.”

But as she went to walk past her, Lady Amber chimed, “Leaving so soon? Come Lady, we have barely spoken these past few days.”

Tamlin swallowed and said, “Well, we have been quite busy.”

She went to step away again, but Lady Amber moved smoothly to block her way to her rooms. 

Shit. 

Tamlin breathed a tad quicker than she needed to, and Amber noted that she cocked her head, a serpent's smile on her face, “Well, neither of us are busy now. Please, let us talk.”

Tamlin swallowed, another action she noted, shit, “About?”

“How far are you along?” Amber asked, tilting her head to the other side slowly. 

She considered not answering, but ended up replying, “Five months.”

“Halfway then,” She murmured. 

The world seemed to darken, Tamlin took a step back, feeling like something was pressing in around her lungs. Constricting her breathing, “Yes.”

“That is very interesting, and the father, or mother, is the Cursebreaker? Right?” She took another step forward. 

“Yes.” Tamlin let the agitation shine in her voice, “Now, if that is all you have to ask, I will be on my way-”

“Oh but darling, I have more questions,” She said, reaching out a hand, her sleeve pulled back to reveal a bracelet of emerald. Her fingers brushed Tamlin’s arms, and she reeled back. 

“Please do not touch me.” She insisted. 

“Oh I apologise, my dear, but please do answer all my questions.” She prowled closer and Tamlin felt like prey caught in a hunting trap. 

“I can answer any more questions in the meeting tonight.” Tamlin said, “Now please, I will be going.”

She pushed past Amber and headed in the direction of her room, wanting to sprint, to run, to go, go, go-

Amber grabbed her arm with such a force, bruises would surely be left. 

Tamlin screamed, but a palm was slapped over her mouth. 

She tried to summon claws, her magic fought to the surface. Screaming and crying as it raced to protect its favoured son. 

But Tamlin cried out again as her magic slammed into a wall, preventing it from escaping. It shoved and pushed, and screamed and it felt like he was exploding under her skin. 

Her eyes had screwed shut but when she opened them she saw the bracelet on Amber’s wrist glowing golden. 

“My daughter has told me much about you, Spring Lord. And the power this child could have.” She whispered cruelly. 

Tamlin struggled against her arms, but Amber was deceptively strong. And she was feeling weaker and weaker. 

She laughed, “Emeralds hold much power from my family. Ours are enchanted, my dear.”

Tamlin tried to scream, tried to run, but Amber pulled her closer. 

“The birth of your child will fuel the magic of Spring for centuries to come. To harvest that energy,” Amber's hand slipped down to take away the dagger from Tamlin’s thigh, “We would be unstoppable.”

No. 

No, no, no, no. 

She laughed, and that dagger began to slide over whatever bare skin she could find, “Even your blood holds power, it sings-”

“Amber!” A voice shouted. 

Tamlin cried with relief as Amber quickly threw her to the floor. Barely catching herself on her knees. 

Shit.

Dear Gods-

Looking up, Tamlin saw a familiar face. 

Jurian was leaning against the wall. Eyes wide, mouth curled into a grin, face twisted with insanity. Tamlin couldn’t exactly blame him if he had lost himself, afterall he had been an eye ring not just a few months back. 

“Jurian.” Amber said smoothly, “To what do we owe your company?”

She didn’t keep the sneer out of her voice. The man flicked his eyes between Tamlin and her, tilting his head to the side, looking like a cunning cat. 

“The King has sent for you two.”

Amber straightened at that. Eyes glancing down to Tamlin. Burning with such an intensity Tamlin heard the words she spoke, ‘Don’t tell him a thing that happened here.’

As if the King of Hybern would care if she had been trying to kill her. 

“And why would that be, Jurian?” Amber asked bluntly. 

His grin twisted into something insane once more, “Why the delightful Cursebreaker has come.”

She was going to be sick. She was going to be sick all over the floors, or pass out, or a combination of the two. Tamlin raced to stand beside Jurian, and Amber maintained a leisurely pace behind them. 

Her heart was thundering against her ribcage. Desperately wanting to run. To hide, to leave immediately. But there was nothing to be done. A predator at her back and an insane man at her side, there was no telling what either of them could, or would, do. 

They went through the dark tunnels, and then finally, they were opening the large, heavy doors to the throne room. 

Amber then strutted ahead and Tamlin sighed with relief as she was finally in front of her and not leering behind. 

Hybern sat upon the massive, black carved throne. Soldiers flanking at every side. Many hidden in shadows, waiting and watching. Lucien was standing near to the throne but when he laid eyes on Tamlin, he ran to her.  

“Tamlin are you-” Lucien blinked as he saw the sheer panic in her eyes, “Tamlin what happened?”

“We have to get out of here.” She whispered quickly. 

“Dear Gods, the Night Court-” Lucien cupped her face. 

“Lord and Lady of Spring, come forward.” Hybern barked. 

Lucien looked over his shoulder and quickly took Tamlin’s hand leading her up to stand beside the throne. 

Leaning in, he whispered, “Keep up the mask a little longer Tam, we’ll get out of here.”

Dear Cauldron and Mother. 

The room was large, the ceiling looming far overtop of her. The throne she stood beside, was the same one she had seen her father kneel before. Seen Amarantha kneel before. 

Now she stood there. Below the same King that had allowed his General to take over Prythian. 

From the shadows of the throne room, she saw blue eyes glaring, and a cruel smile. Amber watched from where she could not be seen. Emerald bracelet gleaming in the minimal light. 

Shit, shit, shit. 

She was being hunted. Prey in a trap. Prey in a trap. Prey in a trap. 

Lucien’s eyes followed her. Finding the glowing sky blue in the shadows. He looked back at Tamlin, opening his mouth to ask, or to accuse Amber. But he was cut short when the doors slammed open. 

And writhing, kicking and screaming, was Rhysand and Feyre Archeron. 

Her blood turned to ice. 

She was dressed fully in Night Court uniform. Face twisted in hatred and anger. Eyes glowing with a storm. 

Lucien stepped out in front of Tamlin, half hiding her from sight. Just enough that Feyre would only be able to make out half of Tamlin’s face and blonde hair. 

“Welcome Night Court, to the Kingdom of Hybern.” Dae drawled from his throne. 

“You.” Feyre hissed with such venom Tamlin nearly flinched. 

“King of Hybern.” Rhysand murmured. His voice reverberated with power, even if he was held back by guards. 

Three others came into view, and Tamlin’s eyes went wide at the Night Court entourage. Two Illyrian warriors, and a blonde-headed female with wide brown eyes. All their faces pulled back into snarls. All their eyes found the King of Hybern. 

Feyre however was staring right at Tamlin and Lucien. She screamed something that Tamlin couldn’t make out. 

“What an interesting group,” Dae said. Dragging a finger up the arm of his throne, “So you’re the great Cursebreaker? Finally a face to put to the name.”

“Release us!” Feyre screamed at him. 

“Now, I cannot do that so soon, Feyre.” Dae said, “Why, you just got here. After trying to steal away with my little prize no less.”

Little prize…

“We’ll return to our Court.” Rhysand offered. “And give you no more trouble.”

Liar, as always. His ploy was as clear as crystal water, yet there was something nearly trusting in it. 

Daemati magic, he was attempting to coax the King into releasing them. 

Dae just laughed at his attempt, “Then I wouldn’t be fulfilling my part of the bargain.”

“Bargain?” The blonde haired female questioned. 

Dae then gestured to the Spring lords beside him, “Why my bargain with Spring of course. I help to return their missing fawn, and I will have their loyalties in the War soon to come.”

“You bargained with them.” Feyre breathed, her spiteful face nearly blank for a moment. Before it curdled into undying rage, “You bargained to steal me back!”

“Feyre.” Tamlin breathed. 

“How fucking dare you!” She screamed, voice raw and powerful. Echoing through the room. 

That was the mother of her child. His child. Tamlin looked between Hybern and Feyre. Hybern who smiled so coldly down at her. Eyes narrowed and cruel. Feyre’s mouth was pulled back into a snarl as she pulled and kicked against the guards holding her down. Like if she was free she would run at the King, or Tamlin. Lucien seemed to sense that as he subconsciously held out an arm. Keeping Tamlin locked behind him. 

Rhysand’s violet eyes jumped around the room. Locking into everyone. Taking into account every piece on the playing field. 

Tamlin sucked in a breath, grazing Lucien’s arm with his fingers, “Feyre, we are saving you from him-”

“How dare you decide what is good for me!” She cut him off with a shout, “You have no right.”

“Feyre.” He felt the High lord’s power seeping into his voice, and begged it to stay at bay. For now.

“You will not take my mate back there.” Rhysand snarled, violet eyes glowing with barely concealed power. 

The day outside felt like it got a little colder. And Tamlin's eyes went wide as his heart pounded against his ribcage. Mask slipping away as anger took hold of him. Burning inside his flesh, face heating up, bones tightening in his skin. He wanted to shift claws and fur and teeth and lash at Rhysand, but a hand reaching over to brush the back of his hand halted every action. Lucien’s eyes were set on the Night Court, but Tamlin could hear the unspoken words. 

‘Just a little longer.’

Hold out, keep the beast at bay, just a little while longer. 

So Tamlin straightened his back. Summoning the face of the High lord of Spring, he felt the cruel cold mask of his father slip away as he faced Rhysand with all the raw, unfiltered hatred he held for him, “I do not care if she is your mate, I do not care if you think you have a right to lay claim to her. She is mine and she is coming home with me.”

Tamlin remembered his mother’s face when his father laid claim to her time and time again. He remembered the tragic story of the former Lady Spring, how she had been taken by his father and claimed without consent, all for the crime of being his mate. 

Tamlin wouldn’t let that happen to Feyre. 

Never would he ever stand by and let that happen to any other female again, least of all his Feyre. His sarcastic, wild, beautiful Feyre. 

But as the words left his mouth something deeply rooted, and hateful twisted in Feyre’s eyes. Causing the storm to darken like never before, she tried to leap forward but was reigned in by Hybern’s soldiers. 

“Let her go.” Tamlin ordered, turning his eyes up to Hybern. 

But Dae just lifted a finger, an order to be silent. Tamlin nearly snapped but Lucien’s hand gripped him quickly. 

Damn it. 

Dae lounged back in his throne, “Now, this has been as interesting as ever, but if I may, I would like to perform a little experiment.”

At those words, all eyes snapped to the King of Hybern. Lucien’s head turned so quickly Tamlin thought he heard the Fox’s neck crack. 

“What-” Tamlin murmured, but his words were cut off. 

The giant, black stone room seemed to darken for a moment, like the lights had flickered on and off simulatanously. 

In between a heartbeat, the air shifted, tightening until it was nearly to heavy to breathe. Shadows pressed in and darkness swirled in his vision. It was like a presence had descended in Hybern. 

An earth shattering clap of thunder, Tamlin jumped back and Lucien grabbed him by the waist. The Night Court reeled back, and someone screamed. 

But the doors of the throne room were thrown open so quickly they slammed against the walls. 

And four figures strutted in with their heads high, eyes cruel and each wearing the same twisted expression. 

Four human women, each with flaming eyes of a multitude of colours. Like different colour flames. Each breath was a puff of power into the whirlpool of magic that had shadowed the throne room. 

There was a shout of something incomprehensible and the two Illyrian warriors tried to rush at the human women, but the soldiers were fasted and in a split second, the two were chained to the floor by threads of black magic. 

There was laughter and smiles from the humans as they gazed upon Fae brought so low. One, an older female were greying hair and silver eyes, stopped before the Illyrians, glaring down with a smile. 

Tamlin felt the hatred burning off of her, years of remembrance from times humans kneeled before Fae was in her gaze. The High lord of Spring couldn’t say the hatred for their kind wasn’t deserved. It absolutely was.

But then she turned her eyes up to Hybern as the four approached his throne. 

The seemingly eldest of the group spoke first, “Hybern, make this trip worth our time.”

“As if I ever wouldn’t.” Dae purred to her. Eyes gleaming wickedly. Something like disgust gleamed in hers, but she held his evil smile with a uncanny version of her own. 

“What is-” Rhysand yelled out, cut off by a guard pulling him back by a rope that had been quickly tied around his neck. 

Lucien moved even further in front of him. Hands twitching like he might just grab Tamlin, toss him over his shoulder and run. 

Tamlin put a hand on his shoulder, if only to prevent him from doing just that. 

“This, Lord of Night,” The eldest human purred, “is power.”

They bargained. 

It was clear as day, Tamlin saw in all their eyes was magic that shouldn’t belong to humans. It came from a bargain. 

And it was only confirmed by Dae’s next words, “The Queens of the Human realms and I have created a bargain of our own. I give them the power they so desire, and in return I have their support.”

The blonde female on the floor, next to Feyre, screamed, it was raw and guttural, “We had a deal!”

The Queens just grinned with cruel eyes. 

Hybern was planning to invade the mortal world. To take them all back as slaves, and the Queens had countered with a plan of their own making. A last ditch effort to protect their lands, making plans with the enemy. 

Tamlin caught the eye of one of the Queens. A beautiful woman, with eyes that were wide set like a fawn, hair perfect and dress smooth. Her fiery eyes burned into his own with delight and something rest-assured. 

She winked, her grin softening into something confident and genuinely kind. 

Tamlin returned it with understanding in his eyes. 

They were here to protect their Courts. The same way he was. 

But as he looked back down at the Night Court, it seemed the great powerful Daemati’s had yet to catch onto that. 

Rhysand’s eyes were wide with panic, the purple shining bright like light violet, he writhed against his chains. And Feyre tried to dive a foot into the gut of the male holding her back. 

“Let her go.” Tamlin ordered again. 

Dae once again ignored him, “Back to my little experiment. As per requested by the Queens. I will show you just the amount of power we hold in the palms of our hands.”

With a snap of his fingers. The doors slammed open. 

And the room fell silent as the air was sucked, and darkness filled the world. 

Whispers of ancient evil and cruelty filled his ears, and phantom hands crawled up his skin. Invasive and touching, and filled with a power he could barely imagine. 

The whispers got louder and for a moment Tamlin made out what they said to him. 

“Son of the Lady. Son of our Lady. Son of the Blessed. Son of Dahlia. Son of Dahlia. Son of Dahlia.”

Dahlia.

Son of Dahlia. 

His mother. 

The Cauldron was placed on the floor, and the darkened liquid sloshing inside lapped at the edges of its cage. Whispering to the outside, curious and peeking around. Like fingers that traced the rim of the bowl. Beckoning. 

There was a choked gasp and Tamlin’s eyes snapped down to Feyre, she wasn’t looking at the Cauldron, or the Queens or Hybern. 

Rather she was staring down at a pendant around her neck. She held it in her hand as her eyes were wide, staring at it as it glowed with power. 

Emerald. 

He saw it in her palm, it flashed at him like metal gleaming. With power it glowed so brightly she clasped it in between her two hands, eyes shooting up, and they met his. 

Momentarily stunned, hatred was all gone, as she looked to the Cauldron, then back to the necklace. 

Two and two were quickly put together. 

The necklace was reacting to the Cauldron.

“What-” Feyre gasped out. 

Then there was raucous laughter as a snake stepped out of the shadows. 

Lady Amber stalked towards the Cauldron like it called for her. The hood of her robe fell away as she approached, looking down into the deep magic it held like it was her own. Her eyes gleamed so wickedly, and as she lifted her hand, her sleeve fell down to her elbow. 

And exposed her emerald bracelet, which glowed like a shining star in the sky, as if it was basking in the delightfully evil power of the Cauldron. Eyes gleaming in the reflection of the light, Amber turned her head up to the King of Hybern. 

“We will be unstoppable, my King.” She murmured. 

Dae grinned as he tossed a leg over the arm of his throne, lounging in all his glory, “I know, High Priestess.”

She was their High Priestess. No wonder she had such robes. 

Tamlin looked back down to the emerald clutched in Feyre’s hand, as she hid it under her shirt. 

He looked back at Amber’s emerald.

Feyre met his eyes, wide with confusion and fear. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

They needed to get out of here now. 

“Lucien-”

Lucien’s eyes widening halted Tamlin’s words as cries and screams filled the air once more. And a set of guards winnowed in, bringing all Hell with them. 

Feyre was the figure out what was happening, and the first to scream as she lunged forward. 

“Nesta! Elain!” Feyre screamed, a guttural sound that shook the room with magic. 

On the cold floor they were thrown, in just their nightgowns. The two Archeron sisters were tied, skin bruised, the eldest one had her lip cut, red and black blooming on her eye from where she had undoubtedly been punched. 

The middle one was screaming, tears freely dripping down her face. Her hands were bleeding like she had been desperately grabbing onto something to prevent them from taking her. 

No. 

Fucking hell no. 

“What is the meaning of this?!” Tamlin shouted up at Hybern. Stepping forward, wanting to rush at him. 

Lucien held him back by his wrist. 

Dae just grinned once again, “The experiment.”

“Let them go! They have no part in this!” Feyre shrieked. 

“This was not part of our deal.” Tamlin seethed. 

“No.” Amber said, hands hovering over the Cauldron, as if taking in warmth from a fire, “it was in our deal.”

Nodding, the King of Hybern grinned, “We needed a test subject for this little experiment. And these two, sisters of a Made Fae, will work perfectly.”

“You told them about my sisters!” Feyre accused, screaming as she nearly snapped her chains. Teeth and claws nearly breaking her skin, breaking through a near impenetrable force of magic around her. 

“No, no I-” 

“He didn’t.” Amber replied smoothly, eyes greedily lapping in the sight of the Cauldron, her own form of worship as she gazed upon it, “My dear little runaway daughter did.”

Runaway daughter. 

“My daughter has told me much about you, Spring Lord.”

“Release them at once!” Tamlin shouted, hands curling into fists. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen, none of this was supposed to happen. 

Who told the King about them? Who would do this? Who would be so cruel-

“I told you not to come here, Tam.” An emotionless, static voice called. 

A full body chill descended upon his skin, every nerve on end, burned and raw. 

Please no. 

If there was anything in the world he could ask for, he would ask for this to have all been a dream. Ice flooded him as starkly as the warm anger that had curled in his gut as another walked through those large doors. 

Pale blue robes, blonde hair curling around her face. Eyes filled with nothing at all, as she walked towards the Cauldron, towards the two sisters. 

“What have you done?” Tamlin whispered. 

Ianthe stoic eyes didn’t meet his as she said, “You should have never come here.”

She told Hybern. Ianthe revealed the sister’s. 

But that meant-

“Dear daughter.” Amber crooned, as she beckoned the Priestess forth. Ianthe obeyed, her head low as she stepped up to the Cauldron, beside her mother. 

“Dear mother.” Ianthe murmured back, her voice as blank as her eyes. 

No. 

But denial was worth nothing, as Rhysand hissed, “I knew you were a viper, Ianthe. The apple never strays.”

For the first time since entering, emotion flashed in her blue eyes for a moment as she flinched at the words. 

Amber ignored Rhysand as she stepped back and grabbed her daughter by her shoulders and held Ianthe in front of her. Fingers digging into the bone until it must’ve hurt. But Ianthe just held her head high and gazed into the Cauldron. 

“Enough embellishments, let our experiment begin.” Dae declared, “The Mortal Queens wished for a show of how a human can be Made. We will give them just that.”

With a snap of his fingers, the guards grabbed Nesta and Elain pulling them to their shaking knees as they both pulled back and tried to kick away. 

Dae observed them both with cruel eyes, before ultimately saying, “Put the pretty one in first.”

Nesta screamed as Elain was dragged to the Cauldron. 

“No.”

She was lifted up, her head thrown back as she cried out. Heels slamming into the lip of the Cauldron, like she might shove off, like she might tip it over and run. 

A burst of unadulterated magic struck him and Tamlin rushed forward. To Dae. To the Throne. 

Claws and teeth and everything vicious and snarling. Tamlin lunged forward, but something burning and too bright grabbed him and reigned him back. Gagging him and pulling his clawed hands away from Dae’s face. 

Tamlin snarled and Hybern laughed. 

Gasps echoed from behind him, and Tamlin’s eyes widened by a fraction as he realised, Lucien was no longer in front of him to hide the evidence of the baby. 

Hybern mouthed, ‘You will regret this.’

A shout of terror and anger vibrated in his bones as Lucien writhed against his own restraints, held back after trying to dive after Tamlin, and the girl being thrown into the Cauldron. 

Nothing could be done. Even as Feyre screamed so loud the Palace nearly shook, Elain was thrown in. 

The emerald on Amber’s wrist glowed as her smile widened. 

And the world shook. 

Everything quivered. 

Like a shaking breath of pleasure, the ground, sky and wind melted into the point of the Cauldron, as Elain was boiled alive. 

It was barely a second long. 

Her hands broke the surface of the Cauldron and she grabbed the edge. Head breaking up for air, she gasped, and as she took a new breath, reborn, remade. The Earth quivered again. 

Her long brown hair stuck to her back, neck and shoulders. Pushed up by her hands, nightgown soaked and sticking to her skin, revealing every part of her frame. 

And Ianthe at the Cauldron, her stoic mask was burned away as she began to shake. Breath stolen from her lungs as her blue eyes shone like sapphires. 

Elain’s hands slipped and she nearly fell back into the dark waters. 

But Ianthe’s hands were faster. Nearly shoving away from her mother, she lunged forward, grabbing the creature that had once been the human Elain. And pulling her out, to the ground. Soaking her robes with water that was both holy and sinful. 

“Ianthe!” Amber shouted. But Ianthe ignored her as she gently laid the shivering Elain in her lap as she kneeled on the floor. 

Still the same eyes and sweet face, but her limbs were longer now, skin healthier, glowing. A golden light was pouring from her chest and the tips of her fingers. Haloing her head. 

Ianthe was panting, breaths becoming shallower and shallower as stared down at the newly Made Fae. 

“Ianthe, get back over here.” Amber seethed. 

“Mate.” Ianthe gasped out. 

The world exploded. 

Nesta screamed as she lunged forward and tore Elain away from the Priestess, shoving Ianthe to the ground. 

Amber shrieked something. Face burning red from anger, hands shaking, she snapped forward. Ianthe tried to scramble back, but her mother grabbed her, pulling her hood, her head covering off of her blonde hair. Ianthe screamed as she cried, trying to pull the hood back over her head. 

Amber pulled Ianthe’s face to her own as she screamed curses in the name of the Mother in her face. Curses of breaking her vows, and Ianthe sobbed, heavy wet tears falling down her face. 

“Enough!” Hybern’s voice echoed through the room, Amber looked back up to the King of Hybern, who nodded to her. Amber gritted her teeth and threw her daughter to the floor and quickly covered her head again as she cried and whispered prayers to the Mother. Apologies and begging for some kind of mercy. 

Tamlin writhed against his chains. Pulling and pulling. Elain sobbed into Nesta’s chest, but the guards pulled her away, as they grabbed Nesta and forced her to her feet. Nesta screamed bloody murder as she was dragged to the Cauldron. 

“No, No!” Feyre cried as she too was helpless but to watch her eldest sister be picked up and brought to the surface of the burning ice of the Cauldron. 

But as she was plunged under, Nesta twisted her body and turned to Hybern. 

As her skin was burned going under, the flaming water eating away at her skin and bones, turning her into something else. She lifted a hand. 

Her eyes flashed. 

Target locked. 

Promise marked. 

Nesta Archeron pointed to the King of Hybern, and Dae, Dae with all the power in his hands, flinched as his eyes widened and his skin paled. 

And the once human girl went under. 

If the world quivered in pleasure at Elain’s death and rebirth, it roared with anger at Nesta’s. 

The air turned stiff and everyone began to gasp for air like it had been taken away. The ground under them shook and the stone floors screeched as it cracked. 

Outside thunder split the sky. Causing the world to divulge into a show of rage and hurt, as the Cauldron cried out like it was being torn apart. 

And finally, after too long and barely a second later at the same time, two hands broke the surface and Nesta tried to shove out of the Cauldron. Dark water dripped down her face, as she grabbed the rim of the bowl, she lifted her eyes. 

Silver danced in them like flames of molten steel. 

The whole room went wholly still. 

She gasped and gagged, tears of anger and pain streaming down her face. She hauled a leg over the Cauldron, but as if something were pulling her back in, she slipped back. 

In a sudden burst of light and energy, Lucien rushed to the Cauldron, free of his restraints. 

However, he wasn’t faster than Elain, who scraped her knees, blooding herself further as she leapt up and grabbed her eldest sister’s hand. Dragging her to the floor. Nesta fell in a boneless heap in her sister’s arms. 

Lucien, reaching them just a second later, didn’t waste time as he shrugged off his coat and draped it over the two sisters. Nesta snarled up at him, but out of energy she couldn’t force him away. Elain accepted the warm, dry clothing with little more than a piercing glare. 

Made. Pointed ears pushed past their long locks of hair. Skin glowing with power that wasn’t previously there. Fae, through and through, with nothing human left to them. 

Dae cleared his throat, cutting through the power and magic writhing in the air. He addressed the Queens, “Now you see what the Cauldron can do, the power it holds. Creation itself is in our hands.”

Creation itself. 

Twisting his head, Tamlin looked towards Feyre. 

Her eyes were wet with tears, and her eyes kept darting between everyone. Like she didn’t know what to think about first. 

They were so utterly fucked. 

Feyre didn’t know what to do. 

At first it had been going just as planned. 

Then she had turned her back on the Cauldron and laid eyes on one she had only ever seen as an eye ring on Amarantha’s finger. Jurian had smirked at them as guards descended on them. 

Brought kicking and screaming to the throne room she had at first been set on rushing at the King herself. As she watched Cassian and Azriel struggle against their restraints. As Morrigan was tied up and Rhysand was chained, she pulled her power to the surface and prepared to rush him. 

Then her eyes fell to two standing by the throne. Tamlin mostly hidden behind Lucien, who was watching with blank eyes. All anger had consumed her in that moment, as she remembered being trapped behind those doors, locked in that house. She screamed and wanted for blood to spill. 

Then those mortal Queens, betraying them and looking down at Azriel and Cassian like dogs. Feyre wanted to kill them too. 

Then her sisters, tossed into the Cauldron and remade. Because Ianthe, someone she had considered a friend, had given them away. Had willingly handed them over to Hybern. 

Ianthe’s own words came back to her, “Just know not to take the word of Faeries at face value." She had told her. Almost like she was warning her. 

Or perhaps taunting her, Feyre thought, since she ended up betraying her. 

But then Ianthe had pulled Elain into her lap, and whispered that dreadful word. 

Mate. 

Feyre had wanted to scream and shout, but froze. Nesta reacted the quickest, shoving Ianthe away from Elain. 

Then that High Priestess of Hybern, Ianthe’s mother, had screamed in the Priestess of Spring’s face. 

Ianthe still was on the floor, her mother hovering over her. Watching her every move. 

And Feyre found herself clutching the emerald necklace now hidden underneath her shirt. 

It glowed with the power of the Cauldron. And when she looked at Ianthe's mother’s wrist, a bracelet of pure emerald glowed under her robes. 

What else had Ianthe told her that day? When she gave her necklace? The day she had cried out in her mind for someone to take her away from that wedding? 

"Take it, Cursebreaker." As she let it hang from Feyre's neck she murmured, "You may need it."

"Need it?" Feyre whispered. 

Ianthe just smiled, "Trust me."

"You said yourself not to take the words of Fae at face value." Feyre countered. 

"I did." She stated. 

Before Feyre could once again point out the blatant hypocrisy, Ianthe said, "Try to see past the person, Feyre. Try and see what may lay underneath."

Try and see what may lay underneath… 

What lays underneath, what lays underneath, what lays underneath?

Now Nesta, Made Fae and stripped of her human skin, clutched Elain. Whilst the middle Archeron sister pulled her in protectively, anger and pure fear twisting in her face as she helped to shield the eldest. 

Feyre clutched the necklace tighter, part of her wanted to rip it off for the deceit of Ianthe, the other made her keep it on. 

One of the Mortal Queens, those traitors, stepped forward and away from the rest. She was the eldest of the group, her darkened eyes swept over Nesta and Elain before turning back to Hybern, “We see that you have such great power, Fae King. With this confirmation, my sisters and I ask we go through to the next phase.”

Hybern smiled coldly, “Then let us proceed.”

Proceed. 

As the Queen smiled, the others encircled the Cauldron. 

Hybern caught Feyre’s widened, confused eyes. As the Inner Circle around her were strapped with chains and gagged with cloth. Morrigan fought them away as best she could, but the blonde was exhausted and easily restrained. 

“I see you are confused, Archeron. Allow me to explain.” He grinned, “The Mortal Queens will be vessels for the Cauldron’s magic, and with them we will spread power throughout the entirety of the Realm, taking full control of this world and all its inhabitants.”

Full control. 

Feyre snapped her eyes to Rhysand, whose entire face had gone completely pale. That rope around his neck choked him as it was pulled. Spine bending, his back arching as his whole body trembled. A half-muffled cry of pain tearing from his throat. 

Then her eyes tore to Tamlin, gagged and bound. Green dress singed where the ropes burned over his clothes. And when her eyes fell to his middle. 

Like alarm bells were blazing in her ears. Fae senses all sharp on and on edge. Instincts in buried deep down in her core fought to the surface. Forcing her to crawl forward, towards him, as if if she laid hands on his skin this would be undone. 

Her mind was screaming it, a voice that wasn’t her own told her what it was. 

Pregnancy, a baby, her child. 

Her baby. 

Shit. 

Feyre rushed to her feet on fiery legs, her muscles contracting and burning. She rushed for the throne, claws shooting through her fingertips. She would rip Hybern’s throat out, she would kill them all, she would undo all of this. 

She screamed as the chains around her limbs dragged her to the ground, the noise that left her throat was half feral animal. Every one of the Inner Circle swivelled their heads to her. Their eyes wide, fearful and confused. 

She met them with a look of anger and pain. It coursed through her skin, making her fill with light from another power that was not naturally her own. Skin glowing, hands smoking with fire and the whole world so sharp and clearer than ever, a sob was torn from her. Making her whole body shake. 

Shit. 

Then a scream echoed through the castle. And smoke filled the throne room. 

When Feyre looked towards the Cauldron, she saw black, ashy smoke that rolled out in waves, rippling over the stone. 

And the Priestess wearing black robes, who had called herself Ianthe’s mother, was bent over the side of the Cauldron. Her face completely submerged, burning and bubbling off. 

Ianthe stood behind her. Eyes wide and full of terror and rage. Feyre nearly flinched as she witnessed the Priestess of Spring with her hand forcing her mother’s face into the Cauldron  as she screamed and screamed, even under the water. 

“Release her!” Hybern’s voice bellowed through the room. 

Ianthe did not listen. As fire flamed in her eyes she screamed for all to hear, “This is what you deserve, you fucking witch!”

In a second, everything turned. 

As soon as Ianthe’s declaration left her throat, her mother twisted up. Her hand grabbing onto Ianthe’s robes and tried to force her down into the Cauldron. 

“Ianthe!” Feyre screamed. 

The Priestess tried to kick and fight back as her mother came back up from the Cauldron. 

Oh Gods. 

Her face, fairer than before, eyes pools of blazing fire. Hair dripping and soaked, light that spilled down her shoulders. Like the sun had come down from the sky and walked as a person. Blinding and beautiful. And so, so angry. 

Her mother screamed something incoherent as she pushed her daughter to the lip of the Cauldron. 

“The emerald!” Ianthe screamed as she grabbed onto the lip of the bowl. Nails tearing away, fingers pouring blood as her mother tried to shove her in. 

Hybern shot up from his throne and gaurds rushed to the Cauldron. 

The emerald. 

It burned a hole through her shirt, and marked her chest as it filled with undiluted power. 

Feyre grabbed onto the emerald even as it singed her palm, burning her flesh until it was scorching and smoking. 

With no idea what it did or how to use it, Feyre did the first thing that came to her mind. 

She brought up every drop of power she had writhing in her, screaming for release. Screwing her eyes shut so she only saw black. She imagined the seven orbs of magic, sitting deep in her belly. Waiting for their chance to rise. She imagined each Court. With their magic, their skies, their sights, their feels. Even the wind was different for each. 

She felt the emerald grow hotter and hotter and hotter until her bone was exposed and turning black from heat. The pain was nothing compared to the magic clawing its way out of her body. 

Winds that surrounded her, each different, some harsher, some hotter, some softer, some colder. Feyre didn’t know where her body began or ended as power collapsed in on her, and the emerald became her only anchor to the world around her. 

Screaming erupted in the throne room and Feyre opened her eyes. 

She saw light, golden beautiful light, it shone in her eyes and hair and skin. She met the face of Ianthe and her mother. 

Ianthe grinned so wildly as her mother plunged her into the Cauldron. 

Feyre screamed and the world shattered. 

The Mortal Queens drew swords from the pockets between worlds. The eldest tossing off her heeled shoes and diving at the guards holding back Rhysand. 

She cut them down in one fell swoop, heads rolling to the ground, and the High lord of the Night Court was free. 

Feyre didn’t feel the ground beneath her feet, and when she looked down, she saw that she hovered above it. Power writhed around her like threads of light and fire. The colours shifted from green, to purple, to white, to black, to blue, to every colour she had ever seen and more. 

With her hand clutching the emerald, she felt it, sucking the energy around it. 

She gave and gave and gave her magic until the emerald had all of it. A stone of magic and power. Until it was no longer recognizable as an emerald, until it was just a pool of pure magic. 

Falling to the floor, her knees cracked against the stone, she pulled it close to her heart as all magic left her. 

Her breaths were slowing, her power was gone, her ears were rounded now, instead of pointed. And she felt the undoing of the healing work, as her neck felt more and more fragile, the bone chipping away. 

Not much time left. 

Ianthe’s mother left the Cauldron’s side as she rushed for Feyre, running with her hands out, trying to get the emerald from Feyre’s hands. 

In one final burst of strength Feyre got to her feet and threw Ianthe’s mother to the floor. Then ran for the Cauldron. 

Her feet gave out under her. 

Sprawling across the floor, Feyre saw through darkened eyes, the emerald rolling from her hand out across the floor. 

Then Ianthe’s mother laughing as she stood over Feyre. 

“Off with your head.” She crooned, as her foot came down and snapped her neck. 

 Tamlin didn’t think he would be able to break free of the restraints that were holding him down. 

Then he heard the sound of bone under foot. And he saw her again, red hair, and laughing cruel eyes. Hands on his bare skin. And then hands on her skin, her power holding her up as she snapped her neck. 

In a burst of immense power that washed through his veins. Forcing to the surface. Roots that shot up from the ground. The ropes turned to nothing around him, bursting into light and warmth. 

And Tamlin launched at Amber. Her head tilted back as she laughed and reached for the emerald. 

But never got to it as Tamlin pulled her down to the ground. 

She screamed as her arm reeled back and hand closed into a fist, connecting with his jaw. He cried out in pain, but grabbed onto her hand and yanked hard enough that a handful of blonde curls were ripped out. She screamed, pulled her hand back again and her punch landed in his belly this time. 

Tamlin screamed, as she laughed and pulled her hand back again

Amber shrieked as fire split across her side and she was thrown across the room. 

Lucien screamed his name and ran to his side. 

He couldn’t feel much, that punch sent fire up his jaw, he tasted blood in his mouth, but nothing was compared to the terror seizing up his every movement as pain twisted and pounded in his belly. A sob was ripped from his throat. Big, wet tears shedding down his face, but he forced himself up. 

Lucien grabbed and held him back. But Tamlin laid eyes on the glowing emerald, and the chaos around it. 

The mortal Queens were fighting the soldiers with all the strength they had. Swinging their swords and meeting the soldiers for every strike. But being human, they were losing the fights. 

The Illyrian warriors and the blonde female were grappling with their captors. And Rhysand ran for Feyre. Arms reaching out, screaming as he tried to grab her. 

Then a guard reefed him back, shoving faebane down his throat. And forcing him to be tied once more. 

They were losing. Badly. 

And through all the chaos, the swords clashing and the screaming. Tamlin heard footsteps. Footsteps that reverberated through the room and through his bones. 

When he looked up, Dae stared down with a grin. Reaching down he took the emerald in his hands. Filled with the power of seven High lords. Glowing like a fallen star spilling its light across land. 

“Well look at this.” Dae said as he looked into his palm, at the star of power shining up at him. 

“I do wonder just what we could do with this.” His grin widened as his head filled with all the power he now held right in the centre of his palm. 

“Nothing!”  A voice screamed. 

The world rumbled, shaking with the power that shuddered through it. 

Everyone ceased their movements as the earth seemed to come to a blinding stop. 

Looking to the Cauldron, there she stood. On shaking legs, as unstable as a just born foal. Soaked to the bone, her hair stuck to the sides of her face. Eyes blazing with anger and courage. 

Nesta Archeron clung to her limp sister. Her broken neck unable to hold up her head. Her formerly strong body, now unmoving and dead. 

“You will be nothing.” Nesta breathed, voice a puff of frost in a frozen land. 

Dae stared at her with wide eyes. Unable to anticipate what the middle Archeorn sister was doing. 

Elain appeared from seemingly nowhere, as if travelling in between worlds. As if winnowing, but in a way that was slightly different, unlike appearing from one place to another, but as if running between the worlds, travelling on air. 

She snatched the emerald from Dae’s hand, and as he shouted and went to grab it. Elain tossed the emerald into the Cauldron. At the same time, Nesta pushed in Feyre. 

Coming back to life was a different experience than before. 

Her skin burned and burned and burned. Back arching, each muscle on fire. Flames spread over her skin like never before. Singed like the hairs of a feather. Fire and icy water delving into her body. Ripped apart and put together again like a deconstructable doll.

She wanted to scream, open her mouth and throat and scream for all her life. But as her lips parted her throat filled with water and she choked. Drowning, as her lungs filled with it. The fiery liquid burning and freezing her all at once. In a panicking haze she fought to get somewhere. Anywhere, just out of the water, but there was nowhere to go. 

She wasn’t in open air, instead underwater, deep in a void of darkness that was never-ending. As if she was in deep ocean. Opening her eyes, she looked down and saw black. Around her was just black, above her was all black. All of it was black. 

Black, black, black. 

She was dead, she had to be dead. She was in some kind of eternal punishment. This was the Hell she had been warned about. Oh dear Gods. 

Her body went limp as her eyes closed once more. Unable to breathe, unable to think as she fell deeper into the darkness. Feeling cold seeping in like never before

Then something grabbed her.

A hand held onto her arm, keeping her connected to whatever was with her here. Her eyes shot open again, as her body fought for life, as something, that thing holding onto her, just being there wouldn’t let her die. 

Darkness, it was all darkness, until it wasn’t. 

Until something filled with light dropped down with them, like a drop of sunlight falling into the sea. 

As it fell down to them, Feyre saw her. 

Blonde hair floating around her face in the water. Eyes of bright blue. Skin pale and covered by pale robes. 

Before it could fall past them, Feyre took hold of the drop of light, holding it in her palm as she stared at Ianthe. 

And as that emerald sat in her hand, a warmth spread over her skin. Making her come alight. Her very blood began to glow with its magic, making every line, every vein underneath her skin light up with it. 

The water was gone from her lungs, and air was no longer needed. Her body completely sustained on power. 

Not dead. 

They weren’t dead. 

Looking down at the drop of light in her hand. 

It was the emerald. 

Soft fingers touched her mental wards. Feyre quickly opened them, and a soft voice spoke into the space between them, ‘Feyre.’

‘Ianthe.’

They stared at each other through the water, shimmering reflections connected their hands, holding onto each other like they might slip back into darkness at any moment. 

‘They’re out there still.’ Ianthe said, ‘We need to use the emerald.’

‘How? It has all of my power now. How do we use it?’

Ianthe grinned as she covered Feyre’s hands with her own, closing the emerald in. 

‘Breathe in, and command it.’

The Cauldron was bubbling over. Water splashing over the lip, hissing angrily as it hit the floor. Black flames licked up over the water. It boiled over as the world started shaking. Parts of the roof falling. 

Time to get out of here. 

Tamlin was still unconscious. Blood dripping from his mouth, a bruise swelling on his face. Lucien picked him up and stood off the floor, being as careful as he could. Pulling him into his arms even as Lucien himself still knelt on the floor. 

He took a hit to the stomach, panic swelled in Lucien’s chest as he thought of what could have happened. 

Gods please just make sure he’s okay. 

Where to run? 

The world around them was swirling shadow and fire and smoke. There was no way out. No one could get out now. They were in the middle of a losing fight, a circle of bloodshed and killing around them, as guards shouted, the Queens cried out, and the Night Court spun with their steel and hands. 

And Hybern ran for the Cauldron. The King looked over the edge, going past the bubbling and the black fire spreading. Looking in, trying to find that emerald of light. 

Elain had fallen to her knees and crawled to her shaking sister, who even with her eyes of steel could not hide her horror at the sights around her. 

Lucien pulled Tamlin closer to his chest, and pulled fire from his core as his eyes lit up. 

And his own flames burst through the room. 

Two guards screamed as their body was reduced to ashes. Around them, Lucien formed a circle of impenetrable flames, and did the same for Elain and Nesta. Elain whom had pulled Lucien’s coat from the floor and covered her sister with it. Her doe brown eyes jumped up to him, Lucien nodded to her and Elain returned the gesture with an almost smile, an almost thank you. 

Almost because she couldn’t be anymore thankful to him than she was to the people who had put her in the Cauldron. But Lucien didn’t blame her for that. 

“Feyre.” A voice croaked from below him, Lucien looked down at Tamlin whose eyes slowly blinked open. He coughed and more blood dripped down his chin, “Feyre… Cauldron-”

“Tam we have to focus on getting out alive.” Lucien told him as he lifted his hand and aimed a blast of fire at a guard who threw one of the Queens to the floor and lifted his sword to her. He fell to the ground a pile of bubbling flesh. Lucien heard retching noises and when he glanced over he saw Elain finally keeling over as she vomited at the sight. 

He felt bad for the girl, but had no time to stew over her as Tamlin quickly reefed away from his arms. 

“Tamlin-!” Lucien panicked, hands going out to grab him and pull him back. 

Tamlin shoved his arms back with an apologetic look before forcing himself up on shaking legs. Lucien got up and went to follow him but slammed into a ward. He cried out as he winced, but it was quickly replaced by terror as he realised Tamlin had warded him back. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Tamlin mouthed, before he ran for Amber’s body on the floor. 

He knew what he had to do. 

If only to get everyone out alive. 

Those emeralds, they could absorb power. 

Those words Amber had hissed to him in that hallway. 

She laughed, “Emeralds hold much power from my family. Ours are enchanted, my dear.”

Enchanted. 

Tamlin had been wondering with what, and he finally figured it out. 

They could absorb power from others and give that magic to whoever wore them. And Amber had been going to use her emerald to absorb the power of the Cauldron. 

The emerald that had been around Feyre’s neck had absorbed the magic that had been keeping her alive, leaving her dead and mortal again. If unleashed, that magic was the equivalent to the most powerful Fae in known history. 

What magic did Amber have stored? 

Even as Lucien screamed from behind that ward. Tamlin didn’t turn back, but felt as Lucien gave up trying to run and instead focussed his energy on blazing their enemies. Guilt writhed in his core, but he needed to do this and Lucien would try to hold him back. 

A guard came out of nowhere and tried to pin him down with his sword. But even if Tamlin was near collapsing he wasn’t a High lord for nothing. Claws shot through his skin almost unannounced and it was nothing to slash his throat and leave him choking on his own blood on the floor. 

Tamlin passed the haze of smoke and blood and fire. And finally made it to the darkened corner where Amber was limp on the floor, her breaths shallow but still there, not dead yet. But her face different from the rest of her body, shining faintly, gleaming in the light, as Tamlin put a hand on her forehead, he felt how cold her skin truly was. 

Gold. 

Her skin had turned to gold. 

The Cauldron it seemed, had done a number on her. 

Tamlin gave no hesitation as his hands went to her wrist, pulling up her sleeve he saw the emerald bracelet. 

Yes. 

He went to pull it off, but as he tried to tug it over her hand, her arm shot up. 

“Insolent fool.” Amber hissed as she launched up and grabbed his hair, shoving his head to the ground, forehead bashing into the cold stone. 

The world went dark for a moment, then he was thrown back into it as she pulled his head back up and went to smash him down again. This time he moved, running on adrenaline and fear. 

Twisting back, Tamlin grabbed her robes, then sharply kicked her in the stomach. Amber cried out, but was not quick enough to react as Tamlin sunk his teeth into her throat, ripping with sharpened canines, blood pooled in his mouth and she screamed death in his ear. 

“Fuck. You. Witch!” She might as well have been one. 

Amber spluttered, vomiting blood, every inch of him burned to finish the job, but as the Cauldron bubbled over once more, spilling more ancient water to the ground, causing more black fire to scorch the ground. He knew he didn’t have much more time. 

Grabbing her wrist, it was nothing to snap it. Causing her body to convulse with pain, he let her fall to the ground as he ripped the bracelet off and forced himself back to his feet. 

The world faded in and out, Tamlin nearly tripped and fell. He was losing energy quickly. In no time at all he would pass out, and the High lord genuinely didn’t know if he would wake up again. 

The closer he got to the Cauldron the more the emerald started to glow, and burn. As it burned into his hands, the pain throbbed through his arms and the added injury ca

used him to nearly lose footing again, it was a miracle he hadn’t fallen again already. 

Everything was burning hotter and hotter, the air was suffocating, he could barely see as the room was now little more than black smoke. Another gust of unnatural wind caused by the power of the Cauldron and Tamlin could no longer see. 

He coughed and spluttered, but still ran forward, knowing it was somewhere in front of him. 

Feeling splashing underfoot, the water that touched his skin burning marks that would scar forever, he knew he was almost there. 

Almost there, almost there, almost there-

“There you are, my love.” A cruel male voice hissed as he was grabbed and torn away from the Cauldron. 

“No!” Tamlin screamed as he kicked and bucked and thrashed, desperately holding onto the emerald bracelet like a lifeline in a storm. 

Dae laughed in his ear as he pulled him back, “I may not have the cursebreakers power, but I will make do with yours.” 

Screaming, Dae grabbed the bracelet from his hand and put it to his chest. Whispering something like a spell, a curse or maybe an enchantment, the emerald began to glow, and Tamlin felt himself get weaker and weaker, as the emerald sucked away his magic. 

Not now, not when he was so close. They were on the brink of losing or winning. 

Losing he realised, they were losing. 

Done for. 

He went limp as his eyes started to close. 

Dae pressed his lips to Tamlin’s ear, cold words seeping into his skin, into his bones, as if they were etched there with a knife, “Did you really think you could outsmart me, Tamlin? Did you think you could win?”

A cruel laugh, “You will see what we do to traitors around here, even if they’re dead.”

The world turned cold once more and Tamlin felt himself slipping in and out of reality, as everything became less and less corporeal. 

Dying. 

So this was dying. 

Why did it have to be so inviting? So loving and tender? 

“Please.” He whispered. 

Someone. 

Anyone. 

As he closed his eyes for the final time. Tamlin felt the breath leave his lungs-

“Keep your hands off my mate!” 

The black smoke was forced back by magic of another. And there he stood. 

Free of the ward which had fallen away as Tamlin’s power was drained. Hands blazing with fire and eyes melted into pools of burning, burning light. Lucien looked like flame personified. 

Dae shouted something to his guards, but no one could react quick enough as a blast of fire was shot out at Hybern. 

Dae lifted a hand and a ward blocked the attack with ease. He tilted his head back as he laughed in Lucien’s face, “What was that fire lord? At least give me something harder to fight against.”

“He was just the distraction, bitch King.” A delighted voice hissed, before a knife sunk into Dae’s side. 

The King screamed as Nesta Archeron stabbed him. Blood poured from his side, but as he raised his hands to grab her neck, he dropped Tamlin to the floor. 

It was no matter as Tamlin sprawled, weak and near powerless, against the stone, as he still held the emerald. 

Nesta choked as she ripped out the knife, Dae lifted her above the floor with a single hand as she grasped his wrist with both hands, face beginning to turn pink from lack of air. 

“Stupid, stupid girl.” He said, as he raised the emerald, it glowed with power as he pressed it to her body, “I wonder what power you took from the Cauldron.”

The knife dropped to the floor, and Tamlin looked up to meet Nesta’s eyes. 

Smart, smart girl. 

Tamlin grabbed the knife, and in a swift motion stabbed it into Dae’s back.

The High lord barely heard his cry, just watched as his body seized up and released Nesta along with the emerald on instinct. 

Even as Dae swung around and grabbed Tamlin, it didn’t matter, because Nesta grabbed the emerald. And threw it through the air. 

Dae shouted as  he watched the scene unfold, letting Tamlin drop back to the floor and this time he remained there, content with what he had done as he saw what the sisters did. 

Elain caught the glowing emerald with a single hand and ran for the Cauldron. Even as Dae bolted after her, he was not near quick enough for Elain, who seemed to disappear behind shimmering air and then reappear by the Cauldron, still running. 

As the Cauldron seemed to cry with overflowing magic, Elain held the bracelet over it. Her hands visibly began to burn and blister with the intense heat, but she didn’t back down, didn’t flinch, not even as the burning spread over her arms. 

The Cauldron splashed one more time. 

And a hand shot up out of it. A pale hand with tattoos covered it, an eye drawn into the centre of her palm. Feyre seized the emerald bracelet as she grabbed the edge of the Cauldron and hauled herself up. 

And holding onto her as she was pulled up as well, was Ianthe. Drenched and shivering, but clutching the glowing emerald necklace that Feyre had once had around her neck, to her chest. 

The world faded in and out again. 

Then hands were on him and Tamlin flinched, but when he looked up, he relaxed. Dark brown eyes bore into his own, red hair falling around them. Lucien’s eyes were flicking all over him. Assessing each part of his body, pulling Tamlin into his arms. 

“Hold on.” Lucien begged, “Please hold on, we can win.”

Tamlin smiled weakly at Lucien, as his eyes fell closed. 

“I love you.” Tamlin whispered, as all started to drown out. 

The last he heard was a petrified scream from his mate as he descended into darkness. 

As her hand closed around that bracelet, Feyre felt power flood her veins. Power that was not hers but hers to use so long as the emerald was in her hands. And with Ianthe touching her, Feyre’s emerald in her hands. They were a combined magic. For a moment in time, whilst still in the Cauldron, they were the magic of the Cauldron. 

Eyes blazing and bodies alight with magic, Feyre lifted her hand and closed her eyes. 

Black, she pulled out the power. Commanding it. Breathe in. She told it to obey. 

With the help of the emeralds magic, the power it had sucked it, like a breath held in still lungs, it all blended and merged together. No longer chaotic and refusing to work with each other. Rather it moved like water commanded by the Summer Court magic. Flowing and controlled. 

Feyre grinned with bone white teeth as she lifted a clawed hand, and squeezed her fingers into a fist. 

“Let all Hell break loose.” She whispered. 

And break loose it did. 

The soldiers screamed as they were burned with black fire. Their bodies dissolving into ash. Even as the Mortal Queens seemed horrified at the blinding figures emerging from the Cauldron, they ran to continue their killing sweep. Finishing off the last of the soldiers. 

Then Feyre turned her attention to Hybern, who lifted his head and grinned. Even as he stumbled to one knee, clutching the wound at his side, as his shirt darkened with blood. 

Try me, was what that grin said to her. 

Feyre gritted her teeth. Twisting her hand as she forced the magic to move with her. The world around her darkening. The room filling, as light exploded from her form. Like a star in  blackened night, she was the magic she commanded. 

But as magic was forced onto the King of Hybern, she felt it… start to disappear, rather than make contact with the target. 

Oh. 

Fuck. 

Hybern grinned as he lifted a large emerald amulet, a wall of protecting, keeping his body safe from the attack but absorbing the power. 

“No.” Ianthe shook from beside her. 

He had an emerald. 

“No!” Ianthe screamed, she shoved Feyre out of the Cauldron and fell out with her. Stopping the onslaught of magic so he would gain no more. 

Sprawled against the stone cold floors, Feyre coughed and spluttered. Feeling herself weakening as the power she had been controlling calmed again. 

Now out of the Cauldron, it stopped its bubbling and settled down. 

The smoke still drifted around the room, but now it was silent. As the guard had been killed, and there was no one left to fight. 

Stepping out from the haze of black smoke, Hybern grinned at her, his wounds healing over from the magic she had just handed to him on a silver platter. 

“You should have stayed in the Cauldron, little girl.” He grinned as he lifted the amulet, it glowed with power and reflected in his cold, cruel eyes. 

His hand buried in her hair and forced her neck back, as he placed the emerald on her skin, leaving a branding mark, “Let’s see what power we can steal from you.”

Feyre screamed and writhed as once again she felt power torn from deep within her flesh, the very bindings keeping her together. 

But unlike last time, Hybern was cut short. 

As someone from behind him screamed, “Don’t you dare ever touch my sister!”

And Elain tackled Hybern to the floor, releasing Feyre from the grip of the emerald. 

Elain’s small, untrained body was no match for the King but she fought valiantly anyway. With a scream, she kicked and punched, but not before her hands grabbed the amulet and ripped it free of his grasp. She tossed it to Feyre, and shouted “Run!”

“But-” Big, heavy tears fell down her face as Feyre watched her older sister fight. 

“Run Feyre! Get out!” Elain cried as Hybern grabbed her hair and slammed her into the floor. 

Feyre didn’t run. 

But Ianthe did. She grabbed Feyre by her collar, and in what must have been adrenaline filled strength, dragged her up and forced her to run. 

The smoke began to clear. And Feyre finally saw the true extent of the damage. 

Rhysand was on the floor, her eyes went to him first. Shaking and gritting his teeth, coughing up blood as he tried to stand on two feet. She screamed when she looked closer as she barrelled forward, and saw that one wing had been completely torn off. 

Feyre fell to his side but as she cried, “Rhys-”

He shook his hand and grabbed her arm forcing her to look to the middle of the throne room. 

“Not me.” He croaked out, “Get him first.”

“Get who-” Feyre cut herself off with a gasp. 

She saw them. She saw them and her chest caved in. 

Tamlin lying limp across the floor, his body not moving, his chest not rising or falling. And Lucien hunched over his form, crying and pleading into his neck to come back. 

“No.” Feyre whispered. 

“Everyone evacuate!” The eldest of the Mortal Queens screamed. 

At that same moment, Hybern was bolting for Feyre, eyes blazing with rage. And Elain a bloodied form on the floor behind him, whimpering with pain and just barely holding on. 

Ianthe laid eyes on her. And she screamed a scream so agony filled that Feyre could have sworn the room shook. 

Abandoning everything else. Ianthe shot Feyre one last look, full of apologies unspoken, before she ran for Elain. Falling to her knees by her side. 

Hybern ignored the weeping Priestess as he headed for Feyre, “You think you can get away.”

“Oh I think she can.” Rhysand croaked out. 

The King’s eyes went wide as a rage-filled grin split his face, “No she won’t.”

“Yes, she will.” A new voice echoed through the room. One like fire and wind. Bursting through and adding a whole new level of danger. 

Eris grinned from the doorways, “Hope I’m not too late to the party.”

“Just in time.” Rhysand smirked. 

Hybern laid eyes on the Autumn Heir and snarled, “I suggest running now, Autumn bitch.”

“Great fun, Hybern, just like your General was.” Eris drawled as he drew up fire to his hands. Preparing to launch his own attack. 

Hybern grinned, “Let's see what the pretty Autumn boy can do then.”

Eris’s eyes were seething when he lifted his hand and fire descended on Hybern. 

Shit.

Everything ached, but she had no time to focus in on it. Not as the room was screaming once more, not as they were being thrown into battle again. Elain couldn’t see well at all. Black edging in and out of her vision, she thought she might collapse at any second. 

But slowly, very slowly, she felt the pain of her body disappearing and when she forced her eyes to open properly. She saw her. 

And her chest tightened until her lungs couldn’t open or close. 

The Priestess, Ianthe they had called her, was kneeling over her. The emerald that had been on Feyre’s neck being pressed into Elain’s chest by her hands, she was whispering a prayer of some kind, forcing the power residing in the stone to heal her. 

Elain finally breathed in deep enough that she could move again. 

A sob tore through Ianthe’s chest as relief flooded her. 

“You’re alive.” Ianthe whispered. 

“We won’t be for long.” Elain whispered back as she pointed to the fire show going on before them. 

A Fae with short red hair and burning eyes, that looked similar to the red-headed male they had called Lucien, was summoning fire down on the King of Hybern. But nothing could harm him, as Ianthe’s mother, the older Priestess, had quickly rushed in front of him and held up her hands. 

Whatever power she had been given from the Cauldron when her head had been under, it allowed her to create a ward strong enough to withstand the onslaught of fire from the Autumn male. But forced them to remain standing still so the others around them could rush out of the throne room. 

Elain watched as Feyre met her eyes. Elain nodded and Feyre mouthed ‘I’m sorry’.

Before helping to pick up her mate and run from the throne room. Followed by the two winged warriors and the blonde woman. 

Leaving the last of those there. 

“We need to get them out of here.” Ianthe said, pointing to the middle of the throne room. 

Dead. 

She was dead. The fair fae, who had been called Tamlin, was dead in the arms of Lucien. Her blonde hair matted with blood, her dress torn and ruined. Elain gasped at the sight of her swollen womb, the child inside it either dead or dying. 

And Lucien wracked with grief, his power and energy drained, was collapsed over her. Begging and praying for a miracle. 

They needed to get out.

From across the room, Elain saw another lump of fallen flesh. Nesta coughed and vomited, before forcing herself to her knees, surveying the damage with wide eyes. 

Then she looked to Elain. And Elain shuddered at what she saw. 

Her sister’s grey eyes, now burning, burning silver. 

Nesta looked back at Hybern, and the male forcing fire on them. Starting to weaken. 

They had to act right now. 

“Go!” Elain shouted. 

“But-” Nesta started, moving to go towards Elain. 

Elain tried to get to her feet but she fell again. Dizzy and unable to stand up properly, the feeling of her body having been through so much, the emeralds could only undo so much damage. 

Ianthe was the one to make the decision, as she tossed Nesta the emerald and screamed, “Go!”

Nesta, for the first time, sobbed, wet tears falling down her face. But she nodded and ran. 

But not for the doors. 

For Lucien and Tamlin. 

She grabbed Lucien by his shoulders and screamed, “Grab her and get up!”

Lucien’s eyes went wide, but as if his body was not his own anymore, he obeyed and scooped Tamlin into his arms. Forcing himself up on shaking legs that were even worse that Elain’s. And went for the door. 

Thank God. 

Elain’s head tipped back as darkness engulfed her. 

Nesta was running on burning, burning legs. Every muscle was rigid, she felt everything and nothing at the same time and it was torment. 

But nothing could stop her as she forced herself forward and forward. The fox haired male beside her, cheeks tear-stained and cradling the body of his dead mate. 

She wanted to look behind her, just to catch a glimpse of her sister, but knew she couldn’t, that she had to get out now. She had the emerald and they needed that to remain out of Hybern’s hands. 

The exit was right before them. They were almost out. 

A little more. 

Lucien passed through the doors and as soon as he was gone from the spelled room, he disappeared into thin air, along with his dead mate. 

And Nesta. 

Nesta was grabbed and thrown to the floor. 

The Fire Fae that had been pelting down flame on Hybern and the Priestess that served him had collapsed in a heap on the ground. Fully spent, with barely enough energy to breathe. 

“No!”

She had been so close. 

“You stupid whore!” Hybern screamed in her ear as he went to grab the emerald. 

“Fuck you!” Nesta screamed as she fisted the emerald, and it burned in her hands. 

Then something rage-filled, and hot rolled through her core in dark waves. 

And Hybern was screaming and Nesta’s vision was white with flames. 

Flames that came from her own hands. 

Shit. 

Silver, it filled the room, dancing along the stone floor. Burning the King and his Priestess, sending them sprawling back against the scorching stone. 

She had no time to revel in her own victory, Nesta clutched the emerald which absorbed the power she could not control herself. Running for the unconscious Fae male. 

In a moment of pure fear, strength came to her. She grabbed him and slung his arm around her shoulder, running from the throne room. 

“Wake up!” She begged, still he remained limp. 

With no other choice, or place to run to as she left the spelled throne room. Heading new guards, the armies rushing into the castle. Filling the place with shouting and the sound of steel being unsheathed.

Nesta put the emerald to the male’s chest like she had witnessed happen and forced magic through it. 

“Come on!” She shouted. 

The emerald pulsed, the sound of footsteps quicked. 

“Please, please, please.” She begged. 

He gasped in air as his eyes opened. The green a scorching liquid amber colour. 

“Well hello.” He rasped out. 

“Get us out of here!” Nesta ordered. 

As he looked around and saw new soldiers beginning to rush in through the hallways. He nodded, “Of course, my Lady.”

And they were gone. 

When Elain woke up, it was because chains were being wrapped around her body and she was being hauled to her feet. 

Head spinning she didn’t know where to look. Maybe Hybern’s half scorched face, maybe Ianthe’s mother, whom she quickly realised was called Amber, when a guard referred to her as such, and her golden face. 

Ianthe was silent as she too was put in chains. 

Elain didn’t know how long it had been, but it must have been not more than a few minutes, as the bodies of soldiers were still out. And the mess of the battle was still visible. 

“Dungeons.” Hybern hissed. 

Amber grinned, “With pleasure. 

They were walked down dark tunnels that only got darker. The cold seeping in through the walls and into Elain’s skin. She kept her head low but watched Ianthe in front of her through her eyelashes. 

Eventually they were led to a large metal door, it swung open with a loud creak and inside could be seen two male guards. 

Ianthe stopped in place, as if waiting for Elain to be put in first. But then, Amber tsked, her grin widening as she said, “You’ll go in first, Ianthe.”

There was a moment of silence as the guards then forced the Priestess forward. 

In a heartbeat. 

Ianthe screamed. A raw sound that tore her throat, nose bleeding from the severity of her crying out. The red streamed down her face as her eyes too began to bleed from her never ending sobbing. 

She screamed to the roof, neck stretching up and head fallen back. The Priestess writhed against her chains, clinging to a threshold, as the guards tried to drag her into a room, into a dungeon. 

Elain was behind her. Watching with teary eyes of her own, as the robed female scabbed at threshold. Her arms strained, hands beginning to tear. 

“Please.” Elain flinched at the tearing screech in her voice. 

“This is your punishment,” Amber said to her daughter, as she smiled from behind them, “Your vows were forsaken when you betrayed me.”

Ianthe let out a gut-wrenching cry as she turned her eyes to the sky, “Mother of creation and Cauldron-”

“Do not beg.” Ianthe’s mother crooned. “The Goddess will not save you.”

Ianthe was sobbing, her cries making her voice shake and her prayer barely coherent, “I have been your loyal subject. Save me from staining. Save me please.”

“You defile us by your unworthy prayers.” Amber spat, “You will break your vows today by entering under a roof with only a male. The Mother will punish you with eternal flame and suffering. You are no Priestess.”

“Save me please, Mother, I have done nothing wrong.” Ianthe shrieked, as her fingers began to slip and the guards dragged her inside-

Elain leapt forward, her sudden, sharp burst of movement shocking the guards enough that she slipped from their grip. 

She hit the ground, and felt her arm shatter as it hit the floor. But she managed to dive into the room. Hitting a set of stairs and screaming as she almost tumbled down them, only just digging her nails into the wall and stopping herself from falling. 

Elain Archeron managed to get through the threshold just before Ianthe was thrown in. 

There was a terrifying shriek of anger from the Lady Amber outside, but Ianthe collapsed to the floor, face smeared with her own blood, tears and mucus. Her breaths were too quick and shallow, hyperventilating as she cried more on the floor. 

Elain went forward quickly. Her arm screaming with fiery pain but the adrenaline was enough for her to ignore it. 

With one arm, Elain managed to pull a sobbing Ianthe into her arms, holding her close. 

“You are okay.” Elain whispered, “You did not break your vows.”

Ianthe opened her mouth to say something, but it was cut off by gasping that was getting quicker and quicker as panic was still flooding through her. Elain could feel tears in her own eyes, but she hugged the female tighter, “Priestess.” She whispered, “Your Goddess had mercy, Priestess, she has not forsaken you.”

“My merciful Goddess.” Ianthe whispered into Elain’s skin. 

Elain ignored how that declaration felt more like it was directed at Elain herself rather than unseeable God. 

I’ll give over my soul. I sacrifice myself. I’ll gut myself on your alter. I throw my body into the sea. Just please, Mother, bring him back to me. 

Lucien recited his prayers over and over, and over, and over. Yet Tamlin’s body in his arms remained limp. Unmoving, not breathing. 

Water from the beach lapped against his knees. Causing his body to shiver from the cold. The crying of birds watching them was the only noise for a while. Lucien cried into Tamlin’s hair. One hand wrapped around him and the other going to his womb. Resting on the child they would have had, the baby they could have been blessed with. 

What would they have looked like? 

Blonde hair, blue eyes? Brown hair, green eyes? 

A little girl? A little boy? 

Lucien cried harder into Tamlin’s hair. 

The mating bond, it had snapped into place as Lucien had watched Hybern lay his hands down upon him. The fire that had leapt up in him had been nothing compared to the hatred and anger he had been engulfed with. 

But as soon as he was given it, it was ripped away. 

Sobbing, barely coherent, barely even there at all. Lucien looked at that lovely face. Blood drying on the corner of his plush lips. Skin still so divine, even if paler now. Lucien threaded his hands through Tamlin’s hair and untangled some of the knots gently. 

Lucien pressed his lips to Tamlin’s cheek, then the other, then his temple, then his nose, then the crown of his head. Like it was just another lazy morning in bed, like Tamlin would laugh as he woke. Like Tamlin would open his big green eyes and smile up at him once again. 

Please bring him back, please I can’t live without him. 

Please. 

Please, anybody. 

Lucien’s chest heaved and shuddered again as a cry was torn from his again. Rocking his love, his High lord, his Tamlin, back and forth. Like he was just sleeping, just asleep, nothing more. He would awaken. He always did. 

“Lucien.” A cracked voice said from behind him. Lucien snapped his eyes up and he saw her. 

Feyre, with her beautiful face, scattered with freckles, her brown hair stuck and clinging to her face. 

“This is your fault!” Lucien screamed with every last bit of strength in his weak body. 

Her eyes went wide and her face scrunched up as she fell to her knees crying. 

“If you had just come back, he wouldn’t be dead.” Lucien cried, his words near incoherent from his sobbing. 

But even through his cries and screams. Even through Feyre’s relentless sobs. 

Tamlin stayed still. 

Fully and utterly dead.

__________________________________________________

Whoops I ended it on an angsty note.

I swear Tamlin lives; I promise the story doesn't end here.

#acotar #pro tamlin #tamlin #tamlin's daughter #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #tamcien #feyre archeron #rhysand #feysand #azriel shadowsinger #cassian #elain archeron #ianthe acotar #religious lesbian icon ianthe #elanthe #nesta archeron #pro nesta archeron #pro elain archeron #eris vanserra #pro eris vanserra #morrigan acotar #the mortal queens acotar #the king of hybern #neris #acotar headcanons #acotar au #jurian acotar #the band of exiles #the court of dreamers

[grad601-sabina]

Because my mum lives overseas I did the interview over video call and recorded the conversation, then using the otter website I transcribed. There was a lot of content, but I decided to focus on her transition into Mexico and edited it down to this.

“I was living in London, where I had ended up After I finished university. I spent about five years working in fashion publishing and living the city lifestyle... and it ended up feeling soulless. I reached that personal point of: help me universe, something's got to change. I remember going to a bookstore and finding a book called ‘wherever you go, there you are’ - a real hippie book on Mexico. I thought if I go there, I can use my Spanish, which I had learnt in college. So I went, pretty much there and then. once I arrived in Mexico, it turned out to be the middle of the rainy season and I ended up stuck on the wrong side of a jungle road that had turned into a river. The bus had to stop and everyone was left just standing with the rain falling on us through the leaves. The people that wanted to carry on had to wade across the river, which was actually going quite fast. I remember following a woman with a chicken on her head. After standing in the jungle for an hour with a few old women and chickens, rain seeping through my clothes, I  squashed into a shared taxi, and further down the road, the tire blew out. Then once again I found myself stuck waiting in the middle of a long road in pitch black, the only thing I could see is the rain in the headlights and there was this loud Erie repetitive sound ‘Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah….’ Of  100s of 1000s of rainy-season bullfrogs, which, to my mind, were all heartily laughing at me. What kind of journey had I started? When I finally made it to the beach I  found a hut on stilts by the sea that was around 30 dollars a week. The sun was coming out, it had finally stopped raining and the beach looked like a wild paradise. And essentially, that was it. With no desire to travel anymore, I had arrived at my destination.  

I ended up living in a rustic house built by my then partner, and we sort of decided it was time for kids. I never felt like I was unsafe. But I didn't really have a clue where I was and what I was doing. And I was in the middle of a macho society in a basically abusive relationship. But what I was experiencing was just normal there, so I lost my frame of reference.  I always felt like I kind of missed out on the whole pregnancy thing if I'd been pregnant in England, I would have had cute dungarees and gone around the supermarket picking out all sorts of nice things, but being pregnant in Mexico, I literally was wearing surf shorts and big T-shirts. It got really lonely because I didn't have any freedom. I was the only one looking after the kids and my partner would just go out at night and come back when he felt like it. And he wouldn't let me go out. So that was it. My world got really small. Just me and my girls and I had to surrender to that and let everything else fall away. It was survival, but it became also very meaningful.

I remember when got Malaria, I had this out of body experience. I remember having thoughts that came from beyond myself, while my body was wracked from fevered shivering, the thought came: ‘this is your resistance’. So, I chose to surrender. I said ‘if this is resistance, then I surrender’ and at that moment I went out of my body and found myself floating in waves of golden bliss. I was in this beautiful calm bliss. I somehow knew that the sickness was the medicine and that I had connected to a wisdom that existed beyond myself. I guess in a sense my whole stay in Mexico was a journey of resistance in a state of golden bliss.

All my belongings I had arrived with essentially just went and it was as though I was being stripped down to nothing, like a spiritual cleansing... I remember specifically having this really nice Nikon camera, I had gotten from a friend in London, but we had to sell it because we didn't have any money, and lost all the photos in the process. I learned to just live in the moment and to trust that our needs would be met. Everyday life was extremely physical and challenging at the most basic level. In that kind of place, everything is dramatic and extreme. You have to have your own belief system to make sense of the chaos. Nature was always a constant physical presence around me and I learnt to appreciate the small things in her. It wasn’t paradise like the postcards, but building our own house from natural resources, cooking on the fire, drawing water from the well, washing everything by hand, walking barefoot… I loved all that. It woke up my spirit. I think my relationship with Mexico provided the journey that I pretty much I asked for, to kind of return me to my soul and a more enduring sense of self.”

[hanaseispeach]

Fathers of twins headcannons

Before you read: eeee I can’t believe this is my first hc that i’m writing after not writing anything for like 5 years!!! I hope I do okay in this piece. 

Request: Overhaul and Shigaraki as fathers of twins, and because of where the manga is currently, i am going to make this a quirkless AU 

* just a side note before I get into the headcannons, this will be a fem!reader only because I have not wrote for gender neutral so please understand that i am trying my best, hopefully in the next couple things I write will be GN or stated otherwise :) * 

TW: MENTIONS OF ABORTION & MENTIONS OF ABUSE (only in shigarakis though), AND SPOILER WARNINGS FOR SHIGARKI’S NAME AND IDENTIFICATION

-Overhaul (Chisaki Kai):

- first of all let’s take a look at him and Eri, this man HATED her. so you know what since this is an AU im just going to assume that he would be slightly more okay with having kids since there are no quirks for him to worry about

- I personally see kai as either a doctor or a health teacher, but no matter what you think his occupation is I know on thing for certain, this man loves you and his kids

- you and kai both agreed that you would have children you were all married and settled down with stable incomes but I also feel like if you were to get pregnant before getting settled down then yall would still love them both just as much

  - both of your children are named after traits that they portrayed when they were born. Akihito (meaning bright and compassionate) and Kenji (strong and healthy), with Akihito being born just 3 minuets before Kenji

- since they are twins they look the same and they take most of their looks from you, but as they get older kenji has more of kai’s personality and akihito has more of your personality

- since Kai has severe germaphobia, before he even thinks to change those kids’ diapers he put on the full mask and gloves, not the hazard suit because they are HIS kids

“Kai, sweetie can you change ‘hito’s diaper while I change kenji?”

and in comes kai fully decked out while you’re just deadpan

-when kenji and akihito get older, they both branch off into their own little worlds, so it get’s kind of difficult trying to play with one while the other wants to do something entirely different

-akihito is a total mommy’s boy and always want to play ‘princess and hero’ where he saves you from the bad guys (which he makes kai be, and he’ll do it only because he loves seeing his son so happy)

-Kenji wants to be just like his dad, saving peoples lives and caring for his family. kenji always wants to play doctor and he always looks to kai whenever he wants to play

“papa, can you teach me how to be a doctor. I want to be just like you”

- later that night after you guys tucked in the little ones, he cried while laying down in bed,

“kai, babe what’s wrong?” you ask, worried that he might be thinking about one of his patients again,

“kenji wants to be just like me, i’ve never been told that before.” he says, while trying to stop himself from producing even more tears.

- he somehow knows the difference between the twins from the get go, and not because of their personality traits, but very miniscule features of theirs.

- kenji has a little birthmark right on his wrist while akihito doesn’t

-whenever you’re at work and kai is home alone with the boys, he likes to color or play a combination of the two of their favorite games and when you come, you can either find them asleep on the floor or doing something and all of them are smiling and having a good time

-Tomura Shigaraki (Shimura Tenko):

- now this crusty mo musty gremlin

- he very much wanted as many kids as he wanted because he wants to give them the life that he couldn’t have

- since he was abused by his father, he fears that he may turn out like him so when you told him you were pregnant he was anxious

- when you told him that since the both of you were still kind of young, abortion was always an option but he quickly refused and told you how much he wants kids he’s just scared

- you reassured him that he was nothing like his father and his mood lightened 

- after going to the doctors and finding out you were pregnant with twins he became even more anxious, but you were still there for him

- when your kids kenzo & ami were born, tenko instantly fell in love.

-Kenzo, meaning humble and Ami, meaning second and beautiful, was just that. Kenzo was born first while Ami was born mere seconds after her brother.

- I personally see tenko as youtuber or a video game creator if he didn’t have a quirk, so he usually works from home so that means he spends a lot of time with his kids 

- he is definitely the type of dad to feed his kids candy or junk food for dinner when you’re not home OR he forgets to feed them all together until you remind him or they remind him

“Hey, did you feed the kids today while i was gon-”

you were not expecting to find him and your children eating a pie straight from the tin and this would be his defense,

“but it’s apple, you’re always telling us to eat more fruits”

yeah that day he got sent to the couch...

- since it’s cannon that tenko is very childish and acts like a child, he will get along with his babies so well but you swear you’re taking care of 3 kids instead of 2

- and since he has his child like tendencies, for example, your kids are very big on cuddling and you’re so comfy and warm that they just lay and cuddle into you and when tenko see’s this, he is jealous 

- he just looks over to you and just starts glaring at his kids and you

- sometimes if he’s really jealous, he’ll move his kids to lay on you

- going back to when you aren’t home, he is such a laid back dad,

“hey dad can i sit on your lap while you play your games?”

“sure, don’t move around though, you’ll distract me”

- ami is totally a daddy’s girl, she wants to play video games just like him

“Ami it’s time to do your homework’

“but daddy doesn’t do homework and i want to be just like him”

- now you make him do a addition sheet right next to her so she can do her work

- kenzo prefers to just silently play his own video games, he also wants to be like his daddy but he really means he likes video games

- both take your looks mostly and his personality and since they aren’t the same gender that means they’re fraternal twins

- taking care of 3 kids basically can be difficult, but since tenko himself is child like, he helps when it comes to entertaining and keeping them happy, and you couldn’t be happier

@vangooh-works

#bnha x reader #bnha #shigaraki tenko #shigaraki tomura x reader #overhaul x reader #kai chisaki #mha x you #mha #mha x reader

[pinkjeanist]

“the luckiest.” || shouta aizawa

     ⇥ It took you three tries to tell Shouta you were pregnant. [1.6k words - f!reader]

a/n: this song makes me sob. catch it playing at my wedding. [navigation]

“You said you’ve been experiencing fatigue, nausea, and vomiting...do you know when your last period was?” 

“Uh…” You pulled out your phone to check your health app for the date, even though you knew well enough that you were long overdue. “Over a month ago, by a couple weeks.”

“Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?”

You’d known the question was coming. You were asked about it at almost every visit to the doctor’s, and the answer was always “yes,” but that answer seemed a little too close for comfort, now. After reading article after article online about what your symptoms could mean, just hearing Recovery Girl ask the question cemented the conclusion you’d now come to in your mind.

Your hand gripped the arm of the chair. “Yes.”

She looked over her visor at you, pausing in her typing. “You seem especially worried about that. Do we need to do a test?”

“I mean…” You sighed, breath quivering. “...I guess that’s the only reasonable thing to do.”

She fished out a test after a while of searching around her office and gave it to you to use the next morning. You held the box in your hands, but couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Recovery Girl came to sit next to you.

“I have a feeling you don’t want a baby?”

You sighed and shook your head. “No, I do, I just...I don’t know if Shouta does. We’ve never really talked about it, so I don’t know…” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I want a baby. I’ve wanted one with him even before we got married. But he’s always had enough kids on his hands to satisfy any want for one of his own, I think…” 

“Well, you can never know for sure unless you ask him!” You gave another long sigh at that. She set her cane aside to take your hand in both of her own. “There are always options. Even if you both aren’t ready now, that doesn’t mean you won’t be ready later. And you never know- you might not even be pregnant to begin with!” 

You stilled for a long moment, then nodded with a swallow. “You’re right. I just need to talk to him.”

“Have the conversation with him even if it comes out negative. Doctor’s orders.” She slid down from the chair and grabbed her cane, moving to sit back at her desk. You didn’t even know if she was a certified nurse, but you trusted her. Well, you trusted her enough, anyway.

The next morning, you slipped out of bed before the sun to take the test. Shouta didn’t think anything of it when you slipped back into bed and held him close. You didn’t cry until he’d gone off early to work.

Yeah. You were definitely gonna have to have the baby talk with him. 

-

It took you three tries to tell him.

The first time, you may or may not have chickened out, even though you knew the time you had left to make a decision about whether to keep it was running out. You didn’t even know why you were so nervous; you knew he would love you and support you no matter what, and you’d rehearsed your little speech over it a million times in the mirror that morning. But when you finally found a good time to tell him, you were at a loss for words.

It had been after work when you’d both come home with the intent of having a quiet, slow night in. Shouta said he’d make dinner for you, since there weren’t many nights lately where he’d had the chance, and you sat at the table with him in a painful silence. You were usually quiet when you ate, seeing as how you were trying to eat, but he noticed something off right away nevertheless. 

“What happened?”

Your eyes snapped up to meet his own.

He poked at his food but kept your gaze. “You’re upset. Did something happen?”

Yes, you wanted to say, something did happen. It was a happening that he should very well know about, and was of utmost urgency, and yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. So instead, you told him: “I just...I’m a little tired. The kids took a lot out of me today.” 

It wasn’t completely untrue, you supposed, but you still felt bad, and you could tell that he still didn’t believe you. But he didn’t press, and you didn’t tell him what was really wrong. And so you ate in silence.

By the second time you’d tried to tell him, you had finally found the confidence to do so, but Shouta was called on an emergency job after work when you’d both planned on talking. He wasn’t home until late that night, and was too tired and beaten to do anything more than go to bed, so you went to bed with him and kept to yourself.

When you actually told him, though, it was by accident.

It was a few mornings after that night, and a week after you’d found out you were pregnant. You’d immediately gone to the bathroom to vomit upon waking, and then proceeded to the kitchen to eat half a breadloaf’s worth of toast. He woke up some time after you and stood in the doorway, watching you take another piece of toast from the buttered pile on your plate.

“Good morning, Grumpy,” You called him by his nickname, then chugging some water. His brow furrowed at you.

“That’s an awful lot of toast.”

“Yeah. This baby has me starving.” 

He blinked. You looked up, blinked back, and then froze.

“You’re-”

“I’m pregnant.” 

He stilled. “Oh.” 

You furrowed your brow. “What did you think I was gonna say?” 

“That you’re having cravings?? I don’t know, I thought you meant “baby” figuratively.” He came to sit down next to you and stole a piece of toast from your pile. He bit down into it and swallowed before he finally realized: “Oh fuck. You’re pregnant.”

“I said that!” You hit his arm gently as anxiousness climbed up your throat. You felt like you were going to vomit again, but not so much because of morning sickness, now. He looked at you with an expression you didn’t recognize, and becoming impatient, you asked, “I mean...what do you think?”

“Well...you’re the one growing it. I want to have it. I don’t think I could tell you how much I’ve wanted to have a baby with you...but it’s up to you if we’re keeping it.”

“You say “growing” as if it’s a melon or something.” 

“It’s gonna look like one in a few months.” You hit him playfully again, and felt a million times better when he smiled. He took your hand and ran his thumb over your knuckles. “I mean, It’s not a bad thing. You’re gonna look amazing. And then you’re still going to look amazing with a baby in your arms.” 

You felt your breath escape you as your eyes grew wet. “So you...we’re really doing this? You want to be a dad?” 

“Well now that you’ve told me...I don’t think there’s anything I want more.” 

You didn’t think about what his reaction would be when you told him. You already knew he wouldn’t be one of those people that jumped up and down and started screaming the news to the world, but you also hadn’t expected him to be so calm. You didn’t mind his cool about it, though.

Well, he had his wits about him until he started to cry, anyway. 

“I’m gonna be a dad.” You started to cry with him, feeling all of the stress and nervousness from the past week finally overflow. It felt good, though, crying with him. It was like you were turning all of that panic into joy- a joy that he chipped into with his own emotion. “You’re gonna be a mom.” 

“We kind of already are. You basically adopted Eri and your entire class.” You sobbed, squeezing his hand with a smile. You talked as if you weren’t weeping. 

“They’re all going to want to be godparents…” He choked with a smile. “...I’m not ready for that conversation with them…” 

“Oh, they’re gonna be so happy, Shouta, I’m so happy…” 

“I’m happy, too.” You couldn’t even comprehend the level of agreement in his voice. You knew what he was saying was true, and you didn’t even know why you’d been nervous. Of course he wanted a baby. A part of you felt like you’d known that all along.

He sniffed, but let his tears stain his cheeks. “How far in are you?” 

“I don’t know. I should probably go to the doctor to see.” You scooted your chair closer to rest your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you, and you sniffled as you did the same. “Will you come with me?”

“You already know I will.” He grabbed at your body to hold you impossibly closer even still. You breathed him in as the last of your full-blown sobs simmered into hiccups. 

After a while, he murmured into your hair: “Thank you.”

You huffed with humor. “You should thank my birth control for totally beefing it with this one.” 

He pinched your side, making you giggle and hit his chest playfully back. You spoke up, “We should probably go to work.”

“God, no. We’re staying home and cuddling.” The aggression in his response made you giggle again. You kept an arm around him as you went back to eating your now-cold toast, and he kept his side pressed against yours as he made a quick call to Yuuei before eating with you. 

It would have felt normal were it not for the literal being festering in your belly, but not-so-normal was okay, you supposed. Shouta seemed content with the not-so-normalcy as well, which was all you needed for comfort. Well, the toast was pretty comforting, too. 

-

taglist: @keigos-dove @hanniejji @knifeewifee @bvnnyclouds @wesparklebitch @katsukis-sad-angel

- dm/inbox to be added or removed from a taglist. 

#shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader #aizawa x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #reader insert #bnhabookclub #bnhabookclub bingo event

[smokedstorybara]

I have so many bnha fanfic ideas, they’ve just been popping into my head every few days for weeks now

So I’m just gonna share them all on this one post instead of making a million new fandom posts out of nowhere (ok, it’s closer to, like, ten - but still!)

If any of y’all want me to actually write any of them, don’t hesitate to say so - or if you just want to ask questions and talk about the ideas I’d be totally down for that too

Also, if any of them inspire you to write or draw something, please send me a link when you’re done!

(under a readmore cause it’s long and also there’s spoilers)

Fae courts AU

Nedzu - Spring King

U.A. / The Spring Court - also known as the Court of Lost Children, all members of the Court were once human children or children of one of the other Courts and they view it as their duty to care for the lost, neglected, and abused children of the world (one of two child stealing Courts)

All Might - Summer King

All For One - Winter King

Objectively, the Summer and Winter Courts are not as different as they like to believe - a Summer fae is just as likely to trick or turn on you as a Winter fae, they just prefer to play at benevolence while Winter fae make no secret of their nature

Shie Hassaikai / The Autumn Court - used to be more like a lesser version of the Summer and Winter Courts, until Overhaul put the King to sleep and made his research into humanity the Court’s focus - they’re now the second child stealing Court

Eraserhead was once human but has made enough deals over the years - most notably with Nezu himself - that he’s practically fae now

Deku and Kachan are human children who were taken in by the Spring Court, though Deku only after catching the attention of All Might

Endeavor - High Fae in the Summer Court - wants to become Summer King but knows he’s not powerful enough to overthrow All Might, married a High Winter Fae in hopes that combining their powers would make one of their kids powerful enough

Dabi fakes his death and eventually becomes a High Fae in the Winter Court

Shouto seeks sanctuary in the Spring Court’s halls

(I don’t actually have a plot for it, but I’m enjoying figuring out the world and stuff)

Evil All Might AU

The underworld knows that young Yagi Toshinori is a con-artist, and a very good one

The kid’s quirkless, and from a bad neighborhood, so of course he gets involved in shady dealings to get by

But he never ever gets caught

See, he’s mastered the eager, innocent, “I know I’m quirkless, but it’s my dream to be a hero! To fight crime! To be someone people can look up to, put their faith in! To be a… a symbol!” act, he’s been running that con any time he’s found in the wrong place at the wrong time since he first started walking - no one with even a single good bone in their body ever questions it

He gets involved with AFO, who’s like “I could give you one of my lesser quirks in exchange for your loyalty, or you could do a long undercover mission for me and get one of the most powerful quirks in existence out of it”

His mission: pulling his signature con on Shimura Nana, being given One for All, becoming a hero, becoming the Number One Hero and Symbol of Peace and the singular pillar holding up hero society, maintaining that status for long enough that everyone grows a little complacent, finding a weak and manipulable child to pass One for All on to, setting them up to fail, and then retiring

(I’d either have this one be All Might-focused and end with the reveal, or have it be Izuku-focused and give it a happy ending where All Might totally chose the wrong kid, cause nothing about Izuku is weak)

Commission analyst Izuku au

Member of the commission overhears him muttering/catches a glance at his notebook while watching a hero fight, strikes up a conversation

The commission tracks him down, shows up at his home with a similar offer to the one they gave Hawks - but instead of a hero they want him to be an analyst for them

Like Hawks, they take away his name, only calling him something like Eagle Eye or something (I’d go with Hawkeye but Hawks already exists so it might be weird?)

(Basically this fic idea is just an excuse to have Izuku and Hawks as the ultimate team, and helping each other get out from under the commission’s thumb - maybe revolutionizing hero society along the way)

Canon rewrite w/ Monoma as main character, somehow

All I have for this one so far is just:

Monoma copies afo, uses copied afo to steal afo, AFO is now defeated

After getting better at controlling her quirk, Eri rewinds Kurogiri back into Shirakumo Oboro

But he’s the age he was when he died

So he joins the current class 2-A

As in Izuku’s class

Basically it’s just his old best friends having to teach him and him making friends with all Aizawa’s problem children

Time travel

(I have multiple cause I really like time travel)

Aizawa-centric time loop fic

Loop stretching from day before Oboro’s death to towards the end of the liberation war (diverging from canon in at least the first loop cause he fucking dies during the fight)

At first he thinks maybe he just, like, dreamt up those 14(?) years

But then things are happening the same way and so he starts changing things and he dies and wakes up the day before Oboro’s death again

He experiments a lot with the loops, figuring out that they’re definitely not time based - unless it’d loop back at the end of the liberation war even if he survives? Requires further testing

Details he changes throughout the loops (culminating in a loop in which he successfully changes all of them):

Oboro’s death

Shimura Tenko being taken in by All for One, All Might’s injury(?), Izuku accepting One for All, and more I haven’t fully decided on

Time travel fic where Pro Hero Deku accidentally time travels back to just before Aizawa’s first year as a student at ua and somehow gets hired as a teacher

Gonna be a two-parter

Part one: Izuku has to teach teen versions of his old high school teachers, channels their future selves a little

Part two: Aizawa, Yamada, and Kayama have to teach the teen version of their old favorite high school teacher, and end up channeling his future self - in different ways

(I’ve come across a couple different “Izuku gets accidentally sent back in time to when his teachers were students” fanfics and they keep making me think about how Aizawa & co would react to meeting him in canon timeline after meeting him in high school and then I took the natural step forward from there to “let’s parallel their nostalgia, make him their high school teacher so it can really hit hard”)

Izuku is related to rooftop trio aus

(I’ve come across a bunch of “Izuku is the biological son of at least one member of the rooftop trio” aus but only one acknowledges that in canon he’s only 15 years younger than them and that one has a very angsty explanation, so I wanted some that fit with canon and also aren’t too heavy - cause like, sure you could go with the complex extremely angsty trauma reason or you could go with the “these 13-16-year-olds(idk Inko’s canon age and as long as I never look it up I can pretend I’m not going against canon by making her only 2-ish years older than them) did what teenagers do and went to a party and made some relatively innocent mistakes and ended up with a pregnancy”)

Dadoro

Oboro and Inko have been neighbors and best friends their whole childhood, despite being a couple years separated in age

The fall before Oboro starts high school, Inko takes him along to a party with her high school friends

They get drunk and sleep together

Inko gets pregnant

They talk it through with each other and their families and agree to keep the baby (they’re both actually pretty excited to be parents) and raise it together platonically

Some months into first year (maybe second), Oboro tells his friends about his kid

Spends the rest of his life gushing about Izuku to all his friends (sorry for the word choice fjdhshshx)

Oboro dies and his friends make pact to help Inko take care of Izuku once they have steady income and stuff

But Inko’s family has moved and she’s married and they can’t find her

They keep searching, for roughly 14 years

And then Midoriya Izuku enrolls in UA’s hero course and his big green eyes and curly green hair match the pictures Oboro used to show them and his smile is identical to their old friend’s

And his mom’s name is Inko

But they’re not sure (His quirk doesn’t match Oboro’s nor his Inko’s after all)

Not until after the first term and the summer training disaster camp and Kamino, when All Might and Aizawa go house to house talking to parents about the dorms and All Might tries to insist on visiting the Midoriyas alone but Aizawa insists right back cause this is the closest he’s come to confirmation

and then he’s face to face with a woman he’s only ever seen in photographs

And then they talk about everything or something idk I haven’t got that far

Dadzawa and Dadmic (trans!aizawa)

A year and a half before he starts high school(I know I changed the timeline a whole year here but shush, how’s he supposed to get into U.A.’s hero course while pregnant?), Aizawa’s middle school and one or two others have a Joint Event, at which he meets a loud but cute blonde who keeps flirting with him

They hook up

He gets pregnant

His dad insists he get an abortion but he doesn’t want to and his mom supports his decision, they convince his dad to let him go through with the pregnancy on the condition that he gives the baby up for adoption immediately

He has twins, both boys (one with green eyes like the blonde’s(but darker) and the other with purple like Shouta’s mother’s)(that’s right, Shinsou is also their son in this, you’re welcome), and he gives them up for adoption to separate families

But with conditions

No one from his blood family is allowed to initiate contact with either boy without the kid’s knowing consent (he’s terrified of his father changing his mind, tracking them down, and hurting them)

With the one exception being that he’s allowed to send each one a birthday present and card every year

Which he does

Then he starts at UA and then gets into the hero course and there he is… the blonde… the father of Shouta’s children… who does not recognize him now that he’s started transitioning

This time Shouta’s the one who flirts - or tries to, the kid’s a little too oblivious

Of course they do eventually get together, and even end up married! (Haven’t decided if they get together during high school or after they start teaching there or what(probably the latter, for plot reasons))

The first time Midoriya Inko contacts Shouta is after Izuku is diagnosed quirkless - she knows the young man loves her son as much as she does and might be able to reassure him where she already failed

His next birthday, Izuku’s mystery card says he can be a hero even without a quirk; it makes Izuku’s year

Hitoshi’s parents also contact Shouta that year, the boy struggling to make and keep friends ever since his quirk came in; Shouta’s birthday card to him isn’t much different from Izuku’s, really

The Shinsous get in an accident and Hitoshi is placed in foster care and suddenly Shouta can’t send him his yearly gift and card anymore cause nobody will tell him where the boy is now because of the contact portion of the adoption contract

They also won’t tell Hitoshi that he was adopted and his birth father is out there looking for him, so Shouta’s pretty sure they’re trying to hide that he’s being mistreated wherever he is

Inko continues to contact Shouta now and then whenever she thinks Izuku will need extra encouragement come his birthday (she never tells Izuku about being adopted - even after he enters his teen years - cause after his diagnosis, everyone but her left him and she doesn’t want him to internalize the idea that his birth parents didn’t want him - Shouta’s not happy with the decision, but he understands)

Then one year he sends Izuku a Present Mic figurine and she writes him to share how excited the boy was and how Present Mic is one of his favorite heroes and he listens to his radio show all the time and Shouta simultaneously melts and has a minor breakdown at the realization that he hasn’t told his husband that they have sons, he can’t tell Hizashi that their son listens to his radio show regularly when Hizashi doesn’t know Izuku even exists

So of course, being the rational man he is, he finally tells Hizashi about Izuku and Hitoshi

Hizashi freaks, of course (in a good way(mostly))

And then, one of the worst days of Shouta’s life

He’s on patrol and sees a figure on a rooftop and rushes to get there - just in case it’s a jumper - and it’s his son, his Izuku

They talk(it doesn’t breach the adoption contract, he didn’t know it was Izuku when he approached and the kid spoke first) and Izuku tells him “everything” about his encounter with All Might, Shouta tells him to tell his parents - they’re there to support him - and also that All Might’s full of shit and a quirkless hero is totally possible with the right training and enough willpower

Then after they leave the rooftop his kid gets in trouble again, rushing in to save a classmate from the same sludge villain that attacked him earlier that day

Of course Shouta swoops in and pulls the kids out of danger before All Might arrives to “save the day”

This time Shouta insists on walking Izuku home to make sure he actually gets there safely

But then All Might shows up again wanting to talk to his kid privately and he wants to tell the man to fuck off but he’s not legally allowed, really, so when Izuku says it’s fine he reluctantly leaves

Inko asks to meet him just days later

She tells him that Izuku told her everything about what happened that day - including what Shouta told him - and she tells him that she’s realized she needs to properly support her son in pursuing his dream

She understands that Shouta wouldn’t feel comfortable training him one-on-one with the kid not knowing who they are to each other, and she’s still not ready to tell him yet, so she asks for a list, for him to help her get in touch with people who can train Izuku or ways for Izuku to train on his own, ways for her to help

He puts her in contact with seven pro heroes (Midnight, Gunhead, the Wild Wild Pussycats, and - somehow - Sir Nighteye) and a vigilante team (the Naruhata Crawler and his team), all of whom he talks into helping - and has to tell about his connection to this boy they’ll be teaching

(Each have something important to teach him: Midnight - using words and body language to throw off opponents, Gunhead - martial arts, Wild Wild Pussycats - stamina, teamwork and use of your environment when out in nature, Sir Nighteye - analysis and planning, the Naruhata Vigilantes - use of gadgets and weapons, use of your environment when in the city, having the heart of a hero, and - most importantly - that quirkless people can be fucking strong and skilled and terrifying and certainly aren’t weak or useless (they were trained by a quirkless vigilante after all, they’re bound to have a different perspective on the idea of a quirkless hero than anyone else, a perspective Izuku could really benefit from))

Ten months later, Izuku passes UA’s entrance exam and is placed in Shouta’s class (he’s pretty sure Nezu did that on purpose)

When the school year starts, he and Hizashi discover that Izuku isn’t the only one in one of their classes - Hitoshi is in Hizashi’s homeroom

They are, of course, fucking extatic

They just need to, y’know, figure out how to tell him that they’re his parents and maybe possibly would love custody of him if he wants

(Again I haven’t gotten any further than that yet)

(Also, if you can’t tell, in this au Izuku turns down All Might’s offer of One for All, cause Eraserhead said he could be a hero without a quirk and was honestly a lot kinder and more responsible (like, making sure the kid got home safely instead of leaving him on a roof) and stuff than All Might and honestly might be his new favorite hero)

#bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #all might #aizawa shouta #shirakumo oboro #monoma neito #yamada hizashi

[bssaz97]

Meeting Xing and Citrine Part 3

A/N: Time for the third installment of a collaboration between @tanakaclinkbeard and myself. Features his OC kids (Xing Xiao-Long and Citrine Rose Arc) going to my AU and mine (Rowan and Summer) going to his. If you would like to see how they’re doing go check out his blog. Now on with the show!

- Xiao Long Residence -

Taiyang crouches down as he keeps the watering can in his hand, tending to his sunflower bed in front of his cabin home. The veteran Huntsman now grown old and even grew a nice beard during his free time, enjoying his recent retirement.

Ruby: Morning Dad!

Taiyang lifted up his head as he recognized that voice from anywhere, a warm smile graced his face as he got up to greet his daughter’s family.

Taiyang: Petal, what brings you byyyyyyy-

Taiyang loses his train of thought as both his daughters walk up the path but he sees two entirely new young children who were not the grandchildren he was expecting.

Yang: Hey Dad, we got two kiddos that we’d like to introduce to you

Citrine lets out a cheer and runs up and jumps into Tai's arm.

Citrine: Grandpappy!

Xing with his eyes still red from crying never left Yang's side and clutched her pants leg, giving Tai a wave and doesn't really look at anything but the ground.

Xing: Hi.

Taiyang: Um, Hi there. Ruby? Yang??

Citrine proceeded to climb up Taiyang like she did Ruby before.

Taiyang: Whoa! Haha, easy there, this old man ain’t what he used to be.

Citrine giggles and looks up and gives Tai a big hug.

Citrine: Missed you!

Tai was still a bit confused as to what was going on, but hugs the tiny girl in his arms nonetheless.

Taiyang: Girls, perhaps he can continue this conversation inside?

Ruby: That sounds fair.

____________________

Taiyang: So these two are from another universe where you are married to Jaune, you get pregnant and have a child, while both Rowan and Summer were sent to their universe.

Yang: Basically.

Taiyang: And this was done because...?

Ruby: We’re still not entirely sure.

Xing listened to the adults silently, never saying a word, but in his eyes there was a touch of sadness. While this man may look like his grandfather, it was clear to him that this was not the same grandfather he knew, and therefore did not immediately recognize him or Citrine as his own.

Yang: But they are two great kids and were happy to meet them!

Taiyang: Well while I’m happy to have more grandchildren, won’t their parents be worried sick if they find them missing?

Xing is still holding on to Yang while Citrine bounces around.

Citrine: What’s this? What’s that? Where’s Uncle Zwei? Is he back yet?

Taiyang: Uncle... Zwei?

Ruby: Yes their Uncle Zwei who’s definitely related to us and is your son, right Daddy?

Xing wordless takes out his scroll and hands it to Tai showing the same picture he showed Yang and Ruby earlier.

Taiyang: ....OH! I see, right of course, Zwei! Oh that son of mine. He’s ah... on a mission right now, just missed him.

Citrine: Awww! I wanted to see him. Does he have a different haircut? Does he have kids? Am I older than them?! Xing! Don't you wanna know?

Xing: ....Not really.

A bark is then heard coming from the kitchen.

Taiyang: .... Uh oh.

Xing looks up as well as Citrine who sequels

Citrine: Puppy?!

Xing once again does not move from where Yang was, still clutching on to her.

She gets ready to bolt where the barking is from, but Ruby gets up just in the nick of time.

Ruby: (‘SHOOT! I completely forgot about our Zwei being at Dad’s house!’) Um, Citrine, wait sweetie!

Citrine stops and gives her alt mother a pouty look.

Citrine: But puppy mama!

Ruby: Well you see Sweetie, Dad’s dog is a big old and needs to be handled delicately.

Just then the black and white corgi comes in from the kitchen, tongue out and moving about as youthful as ever, despite the few gray spots here and there.

Zwei: *Barks!*

Yang: Delicately sis? Really?

Citrine gasp and runs up to pick him up.

Citrine: Soooo cuteeeee!

Zwei (corgi) then starts to lick at her face.

Xing: Oh. That's what he looks like here.... that's weird.

Yang: Man you sure are smart kid. ‘Sniff’ So proud…

Xing blushes and hides his face.

Xing: Thank you.

Ruby: ‘sigh.’ Well since the dog is out of the bag- Shut it Yang! I should just tell her. I hope she’ll understand though… Sweetie can I talk to you a minute please?

Citrine: I can still hold him right? Pleaseeee?

Ruby: Of course.

Xing: ...My head hurts mom. Can I leave the room?

Yang: Hm? Oh sure thing Xing, you can rest in one of the rooms upstairs if you want.

Xing gets up and wordless goes up stairs as Citrine walks up to Ruby.

Ruby: Now sweetie, you know I love you right?

Citrine: Ye!

Ruby: Ok good, because I have something to confess.... I haven’t been entirely truthful to you.

Citrine: Huh?

Ruby: I may have told you a half truth because I didn’t want to confuse you or make you sad but now I realize that by hiding this truth from you that I’m also going to hurt you. So I’m very sorry that I had to keep it secret, but understand I did from a place of love. ‘Sigh’.... Citrine. That corgi you’re holding. That’s Zwei.

Citrine gives Ruby a blank stare for a few minutes

Citrine: .....Why does the puppy have the same name as uncle Zwei?

Ruby: No sweetie, what I’m saying is... This IS our Zwei. I don’t have a brother in my world. So... he doesn’t exist here.

Citrine looks even more confused.

Citrine: But.... you said he was on a mission.

Ruby: I know, I know what I said... I-I only said that because I didn’t want you to find this out right away. I wanted to spare you that pain and didn’t want to make you feel confused.

Citrine: ....I don't get it....

Yang: Citrine, you know how me and your mommy are not like us right? We’re different.

She nods, still petting the corgi in her arms.

Yang: Well it’s kinda like that, like how we’re different from your Mommy and Auntie Yang, our world is also different.

Citrine stared at them for a while before smiling widely.

Citrine: Okay! Can I show Xing the puppy?

Ruby: Sure thing sweetie.

She jumped up, it was clear to both of them that she didn't really understand, and wanted to move from her spot. She ran up stairs to where Xing was.

Taiyang: I’m still not entirely sure what is going on, but I do hope she and Xing are alright, this must all be very confusing for them.

Yang: Yeah... no kidding.

A scream was heard from upstairs as Citrine cried Yang's name out.

Citrine: Autine Yang! Star's noise is bleeding!

Yang: What?!

All three members of the Xiao-Long household quickly ran up the stairs and went to a room which had an open door.

Citrine was crying holding on to Xing, who was clutching his nose looking embarrassed at the wall. A Lot of blood was pouring from his noise, staining his clothes.

Citrine: Xing please don't die!

Xing looked at the adults awkwardly.

Xing: …Hi.

Yang: Oh gods Xing! Uh I mean, it’s ok, look we’ll get you clean up. Dad can you get some tissues, soap, and a clean shirt?

Taiyang: Sure thing.

Ruby: Oh Xing, what happened? How’d this happen?

Xing: Um... my powers are acting up.

Taiyang comes back with all the things .

Taiyang: I’m back, what'd I miss?

Yang: Powers? Xing what are you talking about?

Xing: Do- Do you guys have maledictus-eris here?

Ruby eyes widened just for a moment upon hearing those words.

Ruby: What did you just say...?

Xing: Auntie?

Yang: Oh gods.... Shoot, where’s Ren when you need him? Look sweetie, don’t worry, let’s just get you cleaned up real quick.

Xing: Uncle Ren and Zwei usually helps me... Da long doesnt like me....

Taiyang: Da Long?

Ruby: Look Xing, sweetie, I need you to listen to me carefully. How many times has your nose been bleeding like this?

Xing: Like as of today?

Ruby: As far as you can remember.

Xing: Um. Since I was 5.

Ruby: ....We need to get him to Anima.

Yang: Wait now?

Ruby: Yes now Yang. {turns to Citrine} Sweetie, want to go see Auntie Nora and Uncle Ren?

Taiyang: Wait can someone explain what’s going on?

Yang: Ruby he can’t travel like this.

Ruby: I know! I just- I’m trying to think.

Citrine cheers and then goes quiet and gets nervous.

Citrine: Um... is Valerie there?

Ruby/Yang: ....ah crud.

Xing: Valerie isn't gonna be there Citrine. She is back at home.

Citrine: .....

Xing: I can survive the trip mom.

Yang: Are you sure? You don’t need to rest or anything?

Xing: I just want Da long to leave me alone.... I'm... I'm not weak!

Yang: ....Ok then, then let’s go to Anima. Lucky for us, I know a quick way to get there.

Xing nods and lays back on bed.

Yang leaves the room briefly and pulls out her scroll and dials a number.

Yang: Hey it’s me. Listen I know it’s short notice, but... I need a favor. Can you get us to Anima today?

-Fin-

#rwby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #rwby xing xiao long #xing xiao long #citrine arc #citrine rose #citrine arcrose #rwby taiyang xiao long #rwby taiyang #collab #tanakaclinkbeard #rwby lancaster #gauntlet and greaves #rwby gauntlet and greaves #lancaster #rwby ruby x jaune #ruby x jaune

[italian-pastry]

Bnha Marriage Headcanons

KIRIBAKU

- KiriBaku got married first no I will not change my mind

-Baku wanted to get it done right after they graduated so 1, they can be married before they really get into hero work and risk death and 2, they can focus on their work since they married already

-the thing is; they had no celebration

-they just went to a courthouse one day and signed the papers and boom they're done

-(jirou and shinsou were the witnesses since they can keep secrets)

-and no-one really said anything about it

-Bakugou just said to Kiri after a date (while they were still third-years) and was like

- "Let's get married"

-and Kiri was so shocked he was just like "oh ok sure"

-bakugou did not appreciate that

-"WHO SAYS 'OK SURE' TO A PROPOSAL???"

-"THAT WAS BARELY A PROPOSAL KATSUKI YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A RING"

-they were married for 12+ years before they had a ceremony

-it was pretty epic ngl

-lots of red and gold and dragon-esque imagery because that stuff is rad

-wedding armour? I say yes

-bakugou threw the bouquet straight into Deku's face

-"KACCHAN I'M ALREADY MARRIED"

-"I DON'T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUCK"

-Eijirou and Katsuki hyphenated their last names (when they signed the papers after they graduated)

- Mr. And Mr. Bakugou-Kirishima

-Their kids got to be involved! It was great

TODODEKU

-they actually waited a bit after they graduated and got their careers in order to get married (like responsible adults)

-they waited a year or two

-Izuku proposed (Shouto cried)

-the wedding was suprisingly extra for an anxious broccoli and bitchy peppermint

-lots of silver and stars

-Inko would've gotten into a fist-fight with Shouto if he didn't let her help pay for anything

-and said fight almost happened

-they ended up compromising and she helped pay for Izuku's suit

-All Might mostly happy-cried the entire time (he was Izuku's best man)

-endeavor? Whose he? We don't know him. He don't get to show. This is an Emdeavor-free zone

-Shouto started crying during the vows, and his best man (Bakugou) had to read them for him

-it was funny

-since the #1 pro hero was getting married, it was a huge deal for the media

-think the royal wedding levels of huge

-the wedding was just for family and friends tho

-so the paparazzi can suck it

-Shouto took Izuku's last name (because SCREW Endeavor)

TSUYURAKA

- Tsu proposed a week or two after the TodoDeku wedding

-She'd been planning it for months her friends' wedding just so happen to have occured beforehand

-they were very efficient about planning the wedding tho so they were only engaged for like a few months (3-4)

-the wedding was magical

-nature Flowers FROGS

-you can bet your ass it was Princess and the Frog themed

-"they put chemicals in the water that turned the freaking frogs gay"

-they decided to not take each others' last names they just vibed with their own

-Urarake was DEFINITELY a bridezilla

-but like

-a badass bridezilla

-but she turned into a marshmallow during the actual ceremony

-she did better than Shouto tho

-she was able to actually say her vows

-the whole thing was super sweet

-the reception tho

-the reception was lit

-they totally had a preplanned first dance as wives

-and it was awesome

-Momo caught the bouquet

-Lesbian Luck if I may

-it was the ultimate Gal Pal ceremony

SHINKAMISERO

-it was an amazing mess from the beginning

-Sero proposed to his boyfs on their dating anneversary

-but it turns out

-Shinsou had the same exact idea

-(Kami hadn't really thought of it)

-so that was pretty fun for Kami, being proposed to by both of his boyfriends that day

-They got married before TodoDeku, but they weren't the first (not counting Kiribaku)

-Sero was just happy to be getting married, so he wasn't much help during planning

-Kaminari was the control-freak, surprisingly

-he just really wanted to have an amazing wedding don't judge this poor hopeless romantic

-shinsou just asked questions like "so when the priest guy says 'you may now kiss the grooms' how are we gonna kiss? There's three of us"

-Shinsou also almost forgot to get a suit

-he only got his suit like 2 weeks before the wedding date

-dont tell Kami, but the wedding was low-key kinda basic

-(oh except for the fireworks)

-but it was still amazing

-Eri was the flower girl and ring bearer

-I know she's like 11 at this point but hush she deserves this

-there were little pikachu cookies at the reception

-they were a hit

-since this is a poly wedding there were some complications

-there were 3 first dances as husbands

-3 sets of groomsmen (do they even have that many friends among the 3 of them?)

-there were some roadbumps

-but did they care?

-no

-they all joined the Sero club and were just happy to be married

-they decided to be ~unique~ and they made an amalgamation of their last names

- Shin-ar-o (Shin from Hitoshi, Ar from Denki, O from Hanta)

-So they all have the last name Shinaro now

-their first kid was born 9 months after their honeymoon

-sooooo 👀

AOMINA

-Second to be married with a ceremony (Mina was almost disappointed)

-Mina proposed since Aoyama is mr. No balls

-he did buy her a ring that matched his engagement ring

-the wedding itself was very extra

-mina almost got cancelled because "her dress was sparklier than her husband"

-theme? No. Just sparkle

-Aoyama had really long vows that was generously seasoned with healthy doses of French

-Mina expected this and so her vows were pretty short

-Their reception was wild

-no children allowed

-it was an epic rave and they had a pretty fantastic time

-Mina and Aoyama actually spent a crap load of time planning the wedding

-they were fiances for almost 8 months

-since Aoyama is a low-key attention slut, the media was allowed to be involved

-(mostly everyone else with their weddings didn't really want the media to be involved)

-so they did a lot of interviews about the planning process and who they were hiring and who was involved and the whole shebang

-they legit had fun with it

-legally, Mina took Yuuga's last name, but everyone still uses Ashido (she wanted them to)

-Yuuga got drunk at the reception and proceeded to cry the rest of the night and ramble about how happy he was

-(Mina also got drunk but instead she danced on a table then proceed to pass out)

HAGOJIROU

-they were the first to be married with a ceremony

-Ojirou proposed a few months after they graduated

-there were many botched proposal attempts before that

-but it worked out in the end

-PASTEL WEDDING PASTEL WEDDING

-Hagakure's dress made her look like a cupcake it was pretty fantastic

-Ojirou said 'Naw' to a black suit so he really rolled up in a baby blue suit

-slay king

-there was tons of cloud/sky imagery since that sounds super cute

-since Hagakure's dress was so poofy, she had a black swan moment during the reception and changed into a black dress more suited for dancing and general partying

-although they were the first wedding, they still had the biggest cake, to this day

-surprisingly, neither of them cried during the vows

-Ojirou did get pretty misty-eyed tho

-Hagakure will say she didn't cry but it's not like anyone can prove her wrong

-Tooru took Mashirao's last name

-Tooru Ojirou <3

-(Tooru was already pregnant when they got engaged but shhhhh don't tell nobody)

MOMOJIROU

-GAL PALS GAL PALS GAL PALS GAL PALS

-they were one of the last to get married in the first group (like, there was a large group of people who all got engaged at once, and Momojirou was one of the last ones)

-Momo proposed but you know what that means

-the most extra engagement ring ever

-it was black and purple and amazing

-Jirou was a tad overwhelmed by it (but she still loves it)

-She has a plainer ring she wears out and about, she only wears the super fancy one during events

-VICTORIAN WEDDING LET'S GOOOO

-it was also space themed and super pretty

-not nearly the most extra wedding, but certainly quite extra

-Jirou cried a lot

-Momo did a lot of pleased smiling

-it was real sweet

-their reception was elegant and amazing

-their first dance was AMAZING and heartwarming and just real sweet

-Momo just wanted to keep becoming more extra and more extra and even MORE extra

-Jirou had to reign her in a lot

-the venue and catering and all that stuff was lovely and expensive

-(which almost gave Jirou a stroke)

-Momo just wanted the best for her gal pal

-btw the gal pal joke was carried through the whole wedding

-it even said it on the invite

-"You have been formally invited to the Gal Pal wedding of Kyouka Jirou and Momo Yaoyarozu"

-Jirou took on the Yaoyarozu last name because idk she felt like it

#bnha #kiribaku #tododeku #momojirou #ojiro x hagakure #shinkamisero #kirishima x bakugou #todoroki x deku #momo x kyouka #shinsou x kaminari x sero #marriage hcs #bnha hcs #do i ship too many things? #well #i ship more #so look out for that

[featherymalignancy]

This is totally up to you if you want to answer this ask: What were Nesta's parents like? Their names, personalities, jobs, where they came from etc. Also curious about Nesta's aunt and uncle too :)

Okay, I SWEAR, I was gonna try and keep this brief. I literally whisper-screamed said to myself, “Keep it brief, Cara.”

Nesta, Elain, and Feyre’s Parents: Tim and Ines (neé Afonso) Archeron. Tim was a third-generation native Californian, Ines was, as we know, from Portugal 🇵🇹

Archeron Grandparents:

Tim’s dad Rick was an attorney (and an antisemtic prick, see Nesta’s mention of him in Fucking Lawyers for an example).

His mom Marie was a housewife.

Rick was a functional alcoholic “big drinker” and died when Nesta was 14, Marie died while she was in college.

Afonso Grandparents:

Ines’s father Sebastião was a professor of Antiquities at The Univeristy of Coimbra

Her mother Heloísa worked in her father’s butcher shop until she had Ines (she a dope cook, y’all).

Sebastião died two years before In Vino Veritas starts. Heloísa is the only of the four grandparents still alive.

(SIDENOTE: can we fucking TALK about what she’s gonna say when she meets tall dark and gorgeous Portuguese-speaking wine expert Cassian??)

Heloísa: *in Portuguese* Amorzinho, why have you not married this man yet?

Nesta: Avó, stop!

Heloísa: *still in Portuguese and well within earshot of Cash* If I was forty years younger I would marry him myself!

Tim & Ines (background):

They were both lawyers, they met in law school at Stanford (high achieving runs in the family).

Tim was worked as an M&A (mergers and acquisitions) attorney (can be boring shit but a lotta moneyyy). Ines was a special prosecutor trying drug companies for malpractice and fraud (social justice warrior FTW)

They both worked a LOT, especially when the girls were really little, so the girls were raised by a nanny named Benigna (Beni). Ines had insisted on a nanny who spoke Portuguese, and Beni was from Brazil.

Beni got unexpectedly sick when Nesta was 10, and she died after a too-brief battle with breast cancer.

It was Nesta’s first real experience with loss and she was inconsolably heartbroken, making Tim and Ines realize that they’d allowed their children to be almost completely raised by someone else, and that the girls had basically just suffered the loss of a parent.

At that point Ines decided to cut back to working half time to spend time with the girls, who were 10, 6, and 4.

Between losing Beni and her parents having been gone so much when she was little, Nesta was incredibly anxious to please her parents and make them proud. She was involved in a lot of activities and was very hard on herself, especially for a child. She was serious and dedicated, and though Ines tried to calm the best of Nesta’s outward fretting, she didn’t know how to cope with the more deeply-routed issues of Nesta’s compulsion to be the best. Instead she wrote it off as Nesta being incredibly bright and kept signing Nesta up for activities and paying for any private lessons, competitions, workshops etc. that Nesta expressed interest in. (Look, Nesta had to have something to tell her therapist about)

Starting the year Beni died, they began to take trips to Portugal every summer to see Nesta’s avô and avozinha.

before that, they’d only gone a handful of times, and Sebastiâo and Heloísa were thrilled.

Tim wasn’t close to his parents because of his dad was verbally abusive and his mother was permissive and enabling, so Nesta and the girls were much closer to her avô and avozinha.

Her grandfather spoke English but her grandmother didn’t really, so they spoke almost exclusively Portuguese when they were there (Tim was just sorta...j chilling with his incredibly mediocre Portuguese—he only usually stayed a week anyways, and he worked the whole time).

At home they spoke a mixture, Ines often spoke to the girls in Portuguese and they replied in English unless she insisted otherwise.

Family Ties...

Tim’s closest friend from law school (and the best man at his f*cking wedding) was Beron Vanserra.

Ines was not really a fan but she just sort of tolerated Beron for Tim’s sake, and Beron was clever enough to mostly behave when she was around, though he was definitely the friend who was always trying to coax Tim on a coke-filled bender to Vegas every time her back was turned

Whereas Tim and Ines had children later in life (Ines had Nesta at 35, Elain at 39, and Feyre at 41), Beron married his college sweetheart right out of law school, popped out two boys—August and Adrian—and fucked off for a younger wife. They got divorced without kids after like...a year

His third wife, Flavia, became good friends with Ines. She had her first boy, Eris, three years before Ines had Nesta. They were both pregnant around the same time with their seconds, Lucien and Elain.

The two couples were close and they took vacations together etc. AKA...the kids played together a lot as kids.

Tween/teen Nesta had an ENORMOUS crush on Eris. A senior in HS when she was a freshman, he...did not give a shit. When they ran into each other three years later (Nesta: 18 and two years into raising her two tween sisters and Eris: 21 and a swaggering senior prick at USC) and he hit on her that she was decided she hated him, lol

When Nesta was 14 (Eris: 17, Elain/Lucien: 10, Feyre: 8), it came out that Flavia had been having a longgggg term on-again, off-again affair with her college sweetheart. Screaming matches and paternity tests ensued...and it came out that Lucien was not Beron’s

Ines supported Flavia when Beron filed for divorce and came after Flavia with a VENGEANCE. Ines got Flavia a sick-ass divorce attorney, and sis cleaned up in the divorce 🧹 🧼 🧽 💵 . She and Beron had a very strained custody agreement, where Lucien mostly lived with his mom and saw his “dad” (Beron) only occasionally. Eris, who was about to go to college and was mad at his mom for this embarrassing secret, lived with Beron.

Tim, put off by how Beron handled Lucien’s paternity, distanced himself from Beron, and they were never close after that.

When Tim and Ines died, Flavia was one of the people who stepped up the most to help. Nesta was fiercely independent about the whole thing, but Flavia did babysit for Nesta when she had her own activities, and sometimes she would fill the Archeron fridge with groceries or do the mountain of laundry or take the younger girls back-to-school clothes shopping. Still, she was quiet about it knowing that Nesta considered herself a failure for any little thing she couldn’t do for her sisters.

Tim and Ines (personalities):

Tim

Tim was easy-going and fairly mild.

Of the three girls, Elain is most like him in temperament.

Like his dad, Tim was a total workaholic. He loved his daughters a lot, always bragging about them to colleagues and friends, but he wasn’t really around enough to really show them.

As a result, his main role as a parent was spoiling them with things.

Tim’s dad had been the diciplinarian, so Tim hated “being the bad guy” and was thus incredibly permissive. On the rare occasions that he was in charge of the girls alone for a weekend, there were...literally no rules.

Had he been alive, Tim would have strongly encouraged Nesta’s decision to pursue law school. He likely would have been more skeptical of Feyre’s choice to pursue fine art.

Ines

Ines was more type-A in her personality

Of the three, Nesta is most like her

As the daughter of a classics professor, she had a great love of classical art and music. She would have been pleased that Elain planned to be an academic like her Avô. She also highly encouraged Nesta’s pursuit of opera even though HS Nesta secretly would have rather done musical theatr (like literally any other teenager?)

Ines had been very close to her parents growing up and had planned to return to Portugal when she graduated law school; even though she loved Tim, she was sad when that didn’t happen

She was very nurturing with her girls, but less tolerant of them acting out. Appearances were important to her, and she expected her girls to be well-behaved.

Nesta, always desperate to please, was praised by every adult who ever met her for being perfectly well-behaved

Elain, easy-going and somewhat shy, was quiet and complaint by nature. She never caused problems and rarely even cried

Feyre, a fiercely independent spirit from day one, did not give a FUCK about making a scene if the need arose. Oh, it’s Christmas and Mamã bought Feyre a pretty dress to wear in the Christmas photos? Who cares; not Feyre! She wants to wear her Jasmine costume from Halloween, and if Mamã says she can’t, Feyre is PERFECTLY happy to make a good huge scene in the middle of the bougee photography studio...

OKAY FUCK THIS IS WAY TOO LONG BUT REAL QUICK THE AUNT AND UNCLE

Ines was an only child, Tim just had the one younger brother named Mike. Mike was the “disappointment” according to Rick, because he chose to major in communications and had no interest in law school.

Mike is incredibly unassuming and lived in Tim’s popular, affable shadow. Not lame but definitely unremarkable

The Archerons grew up in the affluent Beach town of Santa Barbara, but Mike was so vexed by his parents he move 385 miles away to Sacramento (if you know California, WEIRD flex on Sacramento of all places, but you do you Mikey)

He married a very sweet middle class girl named Linda and got a job in Insurance

They never had kids of their own, and though he and Tim were friendly, they didn’t really get together much because they just had vastly different lives/lifestyles

Mike and Linda were shocked and sort of bewildered when Tim and Ines died and they were awarded custody of the girls (literally do you not really know what it is to agree to be someone’s legal guardian, Michael ???) and they sort of started haphazardly making plans to move the girls up to Sacramento, even though every time Nesta called they weren’t much farther on arrangements.

Elain and Feyre FREAKED out when they were told they’d be leaving home and their friends and moving to Sacramento with Uncle Mike and Aunt Linda (10 yo Feyre: I HATE Sacramento, it’s a shithole!) and when Mike and Linda still didn’t really have any helpful insights on schools, etc (the Archeron girls all attended private school) Nesta decided the move made no sense.

She basically announced that they weren’t gonna move and that she was just going to handle the girls. Mike and LInda sort of (vaguely) protested before being like “yeah you right, we suck at this”. They still controlled Tim and Ines’s estate and helped Nesta deal with all that, but she took it over the MINUTE she turned 18 and they didn’t really have any part after that besides sheepishly calling like “so...hows everything going? Are you liking school okay?” 🤦‍♀️

Nesta tried to make an effort to be closer with them when they were all younger but like...as adults the Archeron girls have sort of tacitly agreed that Mike and Linda are sweet and they’re family but like...they aren’t that much fun to be around. They’d much rather go to sushi and get drunk on Christmas Eve rather than go to Sacramento and force polite conversation with their aunt and uncle

Okay so yeah! There is a far too detailed thing about her parents, hope you enjoy!

#fanfic friday #feathery answers #In Vino Veritas background info #Archeron parents #Archeron Family History #feathery researches #research #Archeron Sisters #In Vino Veritas

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

Pregnancy Series - We Got News! (3)

Telling Others You’re Pregnant

5 weeks

Shinsou Hitoshi

Every week you and Shinsou made it a habit to go over to Aizawa and Hizashi’s house to visit. It was Saturday, and once again you made your way over there - sitting on the couch as HIzashi made dinner for you all. You talked with Eri, who had just turned 12, about school and life in general while Shinsou played with Aizawa’s cat.

“Hey Eri, Y/n has a surprise for you.”

Shinsou nudged your arm with his elbow as he said that, and you turned to him, “Right now? Shouldn’t we wait for Aizawa and Hizashi?”

Eri, hearing what you said, ran off to find the two and bring them into the living room so that she could hear your surprise, yelling “Dad! Papa! Y/n has a surprise for us!” It only took about a minute for the three of them to return, Eri and Hizashi especially excited for your little surprise.

“You have a surprise!? What is it?” You laughed as the two were basically bouncing on their heels waiting for you to say it, and Aizawa was just waiting patiently.

“Well - uh, the surprise is, I’m pregnant!”

The three stood there in slight shock for a minute, before Eri let out an excited scream and ran back over to you, “You’re having a baby? That’s so cute!! Ooh - ooh, can I babysit them?” Her eyes were so big, she was obviously very excited at the news. Hizashi ran over and gave you and Shinsou a hug too, while Aizawa stood in the background with a soft smile on his face - giving you a curt “Congrats.”

Bakugou Katsuki

“I don’t wanna tell her… you tell her!”

“She’s your mom! I told my parents!”

Katsuki growled as you argued over who would tell his parents the news of your pregnancy, and obviously the one who you were more concerned with telling was his mom since you both knew she would have a much stronger reaction than his dad would. 

“But - She’s gonna get all mushy and shit…”

“So what? Imagine how mad she’ll be if we don’t tell her, wouldn’t you rather have her be mushy than pissy?”

Glaring at you, Katsuki growled again to emphasize his annoyance before pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking for his mom’s contact. He hesitated for a second, hovering his thumb over the call button before pressing on it and slowly moving his hand to his ear. 

“Do you think she’ll get mad at us for calling her instead of telling her in person?”

Katsuki’s eyes widened a bit as you said that, deciding you were right and he almost pressed the end call button before he heard his mother’s voice through the phone.

“Katsu~ Look at you, calling me? That’s new - I’m guessing you need something?”

“Tch, no! I just- needta tell you something…. Y/n’s pregnant, okay?”

You heard a loud gasp through the phone, and giggled to yourself at her excitement, and she yelled, “Wait! Let me get your dad! Masaru! Y/n’s pregnant! Come here! Katsuki, put in on speaker, I wanna talk to y/n.”

He did as she said, and she spoke to you. “Y/n, congratulations! I won’t lie, pregnancy ain’t fun - but I promise I’ll help you through it as much as possible, since I know Katsuki probably won’t be much help.”

“Hey! I’m plenty help, thank you very much!” You laughed again as the two bickered, and you couldn’t help but slightly hope that the baby took on their father and grandmother’s personality - seeing as you had grown to love it so much anyways.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto still always made sure to visit his mother fairly often, many times bringing you as well as Rei had been very accepting and loving towards you (unlike his father). Today he was visiting her again, and decided that she would be ecstatic to hear the news of your pregnancy so you two planned to tell her.

Walking into the small room, Rei gave you both a happy smile as you went to sit down. It started as any other visit did, with you all just sharing little details of your lives since your last visit. Shouto had mentioned a few visits ago that you two might start trying for a kid, and of course she was going to be curious as to how that was going. 

“Any luck getting pregnant?”

You gave her a bright smile as you nodded, knowing that she would be ecstatic from the news, “Yup! I found out last week!”

Rei’s eyes started watering almost as soon as you said that, and she stood up slowly so that she could move closer to you and give you a hug. “I’m so happy for you, I’m so thankful that you two are happy.” 

After seeing Shouto go through so much trauma as a child and experiencing so much herself from marriage and having children - seeing Shouto be able to live his life happily was such a wonderful feeling for Rei.

Kirishima Eijirou

Today, you and Eijirou were hanging out with the Bakusquad, just going around town and having fun as a break from all of your stressful hero lives. After spending a short while shopping and walking around the mall, you ended up at the food court. You weren’t really all that hungry, so you opted to stay at the table while the others grabbed their food. 

But once they got back, most of them save for Denki coming back at fairly the same time, you suddenly were overwhelmed with nausea and you were forced to stand up and walk away from the table. It seemed that you could handle scents when they weren’t too strong, but due to the close proximity of all these foods, your stomach decided that it didn’t like it and you weren’t trying to throw up all over your friends.

Eijirou followed you as you walked away, giving them a quick excuse of “it’s probably the baby,” forgetting that neither of you had mentioned the fact that you were pregnant quite yet. So while Eijirou rubbed your back and tried to find a way to cover up your nose so that you wouldn’t smell anything, the others shared confused looks.

You decided to go to the bathroom just in case your body decided to betray you, and Eiji ran back to the table, “Do any of you have a face mask?” But instead of answering him, Mina asked, “Y/n’s pregnant?” Eijirou - finally remembering that none of them knew - laughed, nodding, “Oh, ya! She is~ She’s probably sick because of all the smells, so do any of you have a face mask so she can come sit back down?”

Hanta searched through his bag for a second before pulling out a cheap black face mask, “I always have one, it goes with my aesthetic~” Denki, who had finally came back, was immediately bombarded with the news by Mina, who was very excited - but Eijirou was busy texting you that when you were ready to come out he got you a face mask.

Amajiki Tamaki

It was hard figuring out how you were going to tell everyone that you were pregnant. Should you just call them and tell them? Or should you go over to their house and tell them in person? It was a very confusing experience that neither you nor Tamaki really wanted to deal with, but you couldn’t just not tell anyone.

Deciding that it would probably be better to tell at least the more important people in person, Tamaki texted Mirio and Nejire to come over to your house - saying that you needed to tell them something important and it had to be done in person. The two came pretty quickly, worried that something bad had happened, but were relieved when nothing seemed to be out of place.

“So, what’s up?”

Mirio was quick to bring up the question, with Nejire happily bouncing in curiosity behind him. Tamaki looked to you, thinking it would be better for you to say it since you were the one who was actually pregnant, and so you did.

“I’m pregnant! I’m just over a month now.” 

Nejire immediately squealed in excitement, running over to you and grabbing your hands, “Really? That’s so exciting! You have to let me help you with names, I’ve got so many cute ones. I’m going to spoil your baby so much! I can’t wait!” She was almost more excited than you were, and Mirio was excited too - having pulled Tamaki into a hug himself. 

“Wow- congrats you two! I bet your baby is gonna be super cute!”

Dabi

“There’s something up with you, I just know it.”

Toga narrowed her eyes as she looked you up and down, inspecting you for changes. She had noticed all of the slight symptoms of pregnancy that had begun affecting you, but how you never seemed to be actually sick. And how you suddenly seemed a lot more upbeat, not letting much bother you - which was a side effect of your excitement for this baby to come. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about~” 

Even so, you enjoyed messing with the girl - she was like a little sister to you and you could never pass up a chance to annoy her, even though for most that could be a dangerous mistake. A pout grew on her face as you said that, causing you to laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you soon. I just wanna see you guess.”

However, Spinner had been in the room with the two of you and heard your conversation. “There has been something weird with you lately. You’re a lot warmer. Are you sick, or pregnant?” He laughed as he said pregnant, obviously thinking it couldn’t be true, but you didn’t laugh with him. 

“Oh - I forgot you can detect heat… so you already know.” 

The two paused their laughter, “Wait, you’re pregnant?” You nodded, putting a happy smile on your face and patting your stomach, “Yup~” Their faces stayed in a shocked state for a few seconds before they broke out into smiles themselves, “Really? That’s amazing!” 

Shigaraki Tomura

From the moment you got pregnant Tomura has been extremely protective of you, barely letting anyone come near you in fear that they may do something to hurt the baby. Most everyone already kinda knew that you were pregnant, Dabi especially since he had been the one to grab you the test, but neither you nor Tomura had officially said anything.

But today, there was an early morning meeting that you were forced to go along with, and you sat on the large arm of his chair as he spoke, keeping your hand in his gloved one. You were still nauseous and just wanted to go back to sleep, but Tomura wanted you around him at all times and you didn’t feel like arguing with him. 

Except it started getting too much, and you let go of Tomura’s hand just so that you could sit on the cold floor, immediately feeling a little better just from being lower to the ground. Tomura stopped talking as soon as you did so, watching you to make sure that you were okay with a frown. Once you were fully seated on the floor and you gave him a soft smile to show him you were okay, he turned back to the league, “Listen - y/n is pregnant, and if she needs anything you will get it for her. Keeping her healthy and happy is our number one priority.”

He was so serious as he said this that it was almost funny - but he meant every word, he wanted to league to act as your servants almost. Luckily for you the league seemed to take it pretty well, Toga letting out an ‘awe~’ and the rest kinda just nodding along. They probably didn’t care, but they also knew better than to argue with Tomura when it came to you.

#ive been listening to diabolik lovers songs on repeat for the past 3 days thats the kind of life i live rn #and look at that all 17 of my writing styles got to shine though today #pregnancy series #shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou x reader #shinsou imagine #bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou imagine #kirishima #kirishima imagine #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #tamaki amajiki imagine #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki #todoroki #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki imagine #dabi #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki imagine

[myheadinthecloudsnotcomingdown]

Hi!! So I’m a really big fan of both your quirkless!izuku fics and was wondering if you had any recommendations for similar stories? I dont have a preference for either villain or hero Izuku, or any particular pairing, I’m just looking for well written multi-chapter fix’s to see me through the apocalypse.

So, I have taken this ask as a challenge!

Quirkless Apocalypse (Over 50,000 words)

*WIP

Sorry most of these are WIPs, but I just went through my bookmarks and picked out some of my favorites. 

Entropy*

Maybe it was All Might's betrayal that finally broke him. Maybe it was the torment from his friends, day in and day out, or the crushing weight of society's collective dismissal of his existence. The reason isn't important anymore- only the consequences. Two years after he and three other students vanished from U.A., Midoriya Izuku is the leader of the fastest-growing group of villains in Japan, and no one is left to stand in his way- no one aside from All Might's successor, the next Symbol of Peace.

All orderly systems descend into chaos. No one is immune to entropy, heroes least of all.

One of my favorite villain fics, basically Izuku becoming worse than the league of villains ever was. 

Four Makes One Team*

“Kacchan,” Izuku said, getting the attention of the boy beside him. “What if I don’t want to be a hero?”

Izuku spoke as if he was setting the world on fire. As if he’d broken time in half and let the fabric of the universe collapse like a folding chair.

Katsuki twitched. “Then what else do you want to be?” There was a tinge of anger in Katsuki’s words, the hint of a shout tipping each consonant.

“Well,” Izuku scratched his neck, eyes locked on the stars attached to the ceiling that shown an odd neon yellow in the afternoon light. “Well, what if I wanted to help heroes or something instead.”

(Where Izuku decides he wants to be hero support, learns computer code, and digs way to deep into a villain case all for the sake of teamwork.)

Basically, Izuku and Katsuki meet some other canon characters as kids and basically become genius vigilantes.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report*

Izuku decides early on that heroics is not the only path to heroism.

I did not know that I needed parental Nighteye, but I definitely did. 

Finding Abandoned Hope*

Nothing in life was fair. Some people just had more luck than others. Midoriya Izuku was not one of those people. He learned that the hard way.

Not everyone gets good quirks. Not every quirk is accepted by people. This was a cruel and unforgiving world and Shinso Hitoshi knew that quite well.

Together, maybe they can have the life they both want.

Runaways, Vigilantes, Dadzawa. What else could you ask for?

Ripples on Deep Water*

Midoriya Izuku didn’t expect much from life. He knew it expected everything of him, and he was always trying to rise up and meet that challenge.Except for one little mutation in his genes that made all the difference.Except for one little change in the route home after a pretty depressing day.Or:When All Might crushes Izuku’s dreams, he crosses the path of someone who rebuilds them. Izuku’s going to be a hero... even if it won’t be exactly as planned.Or:How the tiniest wingbeat of a butterfly over the still ocean brings tsunamis to distant lands.

Izuku meets Mei at the right moment and basically keeps his dream alive. Support!Deku with an eye toward the hero course. 

Black Rabbit*

For most people, waking up in the secret base of one of Japan's most wanted vigilantes would probably be terrifying. For Shouto Todoroki it ends up being first stroke of luck he's ever had. Black Rabbit is nothing like the rumors and ends up being his first real friend. For once in his life Todoroki feels like someone actually cares about and supports him, Black rabbit going as far as to get him a new identity so he wouldn't have to go back to Endeavor. It also helps that, on top of being the embodiment of sunshine personality wise, under the mask Black Rabbit is the gosh darn cutest boy Todoroki has ever laid eyes on.

Izuku Midoriya is the vigilante known as Black Rabbit. Pros all over Japan have tried to catch him but all have failed. Nothing is known about him and he's been doing this for years, living in his secret base alone. He never had a friend until he rescued Todoroki. It's a relief and a blessing to finally have someone who knows him out of the mask and likes him as a person. There's a personal connection and closeness between them that he's never had before and he'll follow it as far as it takes him.

Now if they can only keep their respective identities a secret while attending UA

Vigilante!Deku with a healthy helping of Dadzawa and some sweet TodoDeku on the side. 

Who said the only thing green about him is his hair?*

All Might isn't able to get away from the reporters after saving Bakugou and Midoriya during the sludge incident.

Midoriya Izuku, without motivation, Bakugou's words of suicide ringing through his head. He makes a decision, something that wouldn't ruin Bakuguou's chances of becoming a hero, something where he could get away from everything that was hurting.

Izuku decides to run away. Impulsive and hasty, desperate and in shock, he decides that running away and surviving would hurt less than any other option when reality hits him full force.

Runaway!Deku, enough said.

Swan Dive*

The Slime Villain Incident, and the events leading up to it happen one year earlier. Izuku, broken and lost in the face of All Might's words, decides to take Kacchan's advice. But a familiar Underground Hero won't let a young life end so quickly. How will a simple right-place-right time scenario change things?

OR:

Aizawa Shouta saves the life of Midoriya Izuku and finds himself with a new apprentice and surrounded by a quickly growing family circle. What has he gotten himself into? Heavy Dadzawa and Dadmic. Auntie Nemuri and eventual redeemed Bakugo.

The sweetness! The trauma! This fic will definitely punch you in the heart in more ways than one. 

I’m Here*

What if All Might never dropped that bottle...? There was never a chance to prove himself. Midoriya never became a hero. Take a dive off the roof of the building, that's what Bakugo wanted, right? But a stranger stops him and gives him a new dream for the future. A boy's descent into madness and obsession but not without finding a family amongst a number of misfits. To kill some major league heroes. It's all they want to do and change society. What's the cost?

Insane!Villain!Deku. Literal chills, seriously. It definatly gets dark, so be ready for that. Also the league of villains as family and obsessive TodoDeku. 

I’m Doing This For Them*

Izuku always wanted to be a hero, but without a quirk almost everyone he met said that was impossible, but Izuku's stubborn and he never took no for an answer. So he decides to take his dream into his own hands and do the impossible. Even if he can't legally become a hero what's to stop him from doing it illegally?

A lie-detecting detective, a purple-haired kid, and an insomniac pro hero, that's who.

Or

Izuku decides to try his luck at becoming a vigilante and subsequently annoys the shit out of everyone he meets.

Sassy Viligante!Deku, EraserMic with Shinso, basically so much family!

The Yakuza isn’t that bad*

After Izuku was told by his idol that he can't be a hero without a quirk, he realized something. This world, where the quirked do whatever they want, and the quirkless are treated as less than human, is flawed. And what better way to repair a flawed world than returning it to when it wasn't?

Do you want Mafia!Deku? Very unique fic about Izuku taking over Overhaul’s operation (don’t worry about Eri, she’ll be fine) and pursuing a quirkless world.

Independence*

All Might is the number one hero, and has a beautiful wife, they are a beautiful, loving family. What no one knows is they have a quirkless son. When telling he him he can’t be a hero, Midoriya Izuku takes fate into his own hands, and tries to warn his parents he isn’t going to listen is the silliest of ways. He is still planning to be the best hero, even if he has to tear apart the society norms around him.

Bad bio-dadmight. Izuku is basically running on sheer spite at this point and it’s working. 

Nii-Chan! Nii-Chan!*

Aizawa Shouta is a teen who lives by the rules of logic and rationality, in his second year of Yuuei. When his parents kick him out when discovering he has a boyfriend, he finds himself alone on the street.

Midoriya Inko lives in a small flat with her young and only son after her ex-husband ran learning she was pregnant. With Mother and Son sharing a huge heart with un-measurable amounts of love, they find and help Aizawa.

With a new Mom and a little Brother, Aizawa finally has a family to be proud of.

How much found family can we incorporate into one story? The answer is a lot more than you’d think. Basically once Izuku adopts someone, they are family. Lots of fluff. 

Erased Potential*

Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta.

Pretty much my favorite Dadzawa fic. 

Net Neutrality (series)

I feel like this should be included even if each fic isn’t over 50,000 words. Info Broker!Deku and Vigilante!Deku with Eri getting the love she deserves. This inspired some parts of Mastermind, actually. 

One-Choice: Vigilante*

Time is a funny thing, the way even a single choice can change the world forever. Every single choice can turn the course of fate in unexpected directions.

Midoriya Izuku always wanted to be a hero. Ever since he was a child, he wanted to be someone who saves other with a fearless smile. But when his world comes crashing down around him, when even the tiniest spark of hope is crashed, what would he do?

This entire series is really good. It’s basically another take on what I’m doing with my For the Want of a Nail series. 

Secondary Colors*

"You got pushed down the stairs... and you're apologizing for it," he stated blandly. "That seems counterintuitive.""Um... sorry?" Izuku whispered. He was starting to shake a little, adrenaline flooding his veins and leaving him cold. He had no idea what Purple was going for with his blunt statements and the hand reaching toward his shoulder as if to steady him, but apologizing was generally safe."You don't have to apologize, dude. I don't know your name, but I doubt it's actually Deku.""Um. Midoriya." Izuku peered sideways at Purple as they rounded the corner. "Izuku Midoriya. Deku is just, um, just what my... friends call me." He winced."Sounds real friendly."

Izuku and Shinso are best friends with a lot of Dadzawa and Dadmic.

Pied Piper*

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

One of my favorite Vigilante!Deku fics, hands down. Izuku is an absolute mad lad in this. 

We Don’t Need No Fuckin’ Heroes* 

Almost half a year before Izuku's fated meeting with the Slime Villain, our protagonist finds himself running away from his fears.But instead of letting his fears overtake him and drag him back down to the darkness where they think he belongs, he finds friendship in the most unusual places and with the help of his friends they all claw their way up into the light where they want to be and where they truly belong.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Izuku met Dabi and Toga before they could join the league of villains? Amazing Vigilante!Deku

Detective Midoriya*

After the sludge incident, Izuku Midoriya's dream was officially crushed. However, a later experience takes the boy in a new direction. Izuku had never really contemplated being a detective, but his whole life he'd only ever wanted to help people with a smile on his face. Thanks to some luck and an entire police station, Izuku's dream is reborn.

Izuku joins the police force and basically proves that he’s as amazing as we all know he is. 

There is No Such Thing as Competely Forgiven

Deku doesn't become a hero, though he might be considered one to people that have been rejected by society. He can be petty, twisted, and is loyal to a fault. That hardly makes him evil. No, he just knows the worlds got to change and he can't do that from a side that praises people like Bakagou Katsuki and All Might. He also would love nothing better than to get even with a few people that ruined his life...

Katsuki knows that he is the reason that Deku is dead. He just can hope one day he can forgive himself and that others can as well for the role he played in it. He needs to make the world a better place, one that Izuku would have wanted. He needs to be a hero that does more than punch villains in the face. But its really hard to be a needed change when he can't trust most of his own decisions are the right ones.

One of my favorite villian!Deku fics of all time, mostly because of the found family stuff it’s got going on with the league. It’s also got a sequel if you want more. 

A Deadman’s Gun

“I—“ Izuku hesitated, gaping wordlessly, before admitting softly. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home. There’s nothing for me, there.”

“So you filled this hole by playing detective— And how long is that going to last, I wonder?” Stain replied, still massaging his chin. “But you— You have potential.”

Izuku blinked at Stain’s chest, before looking up. “Excuse me?”

“What a waste would it be, to let you become a red splatter on the sidewalk.” Stain continued, almost contemplating. “No. No, kid, what you need is a new purpose. Your old one is gone? Well, time to get off your ass and find something else—“

Ok, there need to be more parental Stain fics in this fandom, because this is absolutely amazing!

Hero Class Civil Warfare

Heroes lead by Bakugo.Villains lead by Midoriya.Seven days prep time.Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

Ok! Ok! I know this isn’t Quirkless!Deku but I have to include it because it’s a classic and it’s pretty similar to my fics, so I know you’ll love it anyway. It focuses on Izuku’s intelligence rather than his quirk. 

#fic recs #ask #quarentine #long fics #quirkless izuku #my favorites

[creampuffqueen]

Feyre x Rhysand baby headcanons

Alrighty! First one for acotar kiddos! 

-Alright alright alright here we go kids

-Feyre and Rhys are clearly the first to have kids. It's just a fact

-Unlike in the ToG world, however, it takes wayyy longer

-In the acotar world, it's been about thirty-ish years since the war with Hybern

-Things have happened. Eris has taken over his father's spot as High Lord of the Autumn Court. Tarquin found his mate. Helion realized that Lucien was his son and took him in.

-And yet, the Inner Circle has remained the same

-The first few years after the events of acofas were kind of hard for Feyre. Even though she knew it would take a while, she was still disappointed when she didn't get pregnant immediately

-Then life got busy, and their focus was elsewhere

-Which is why, nearly thirty years later, Feyre finds herself.. not feeling too great

-The thing is, none of her symptoms scream 'PREGNANCY' that much

-She was nauseous for a few days, no throwing up

-Had an odd craving or two

-Was extra tired for a while there

-So neither Feyre nor Rhys is too concerned

-The real surprise comes when Feyre starts gaining weight

-Now that's odd

-Feyre's been training for three decades. She's like, swole

-But then her breasts start to get sensitive

-And her stomach starts to get pudgy and soft

-The final clue is when her scent starts to change

-Rhys wakes up one morning and smells his amazing wife, only to find... she doesn't smell quite the same

-Feyre feels fine, but because Rhys is Rhys and must be overprotective, he instantly calls for Madja, their healer

-Madja knows what's up right away

-Because she's just cool like that

-"I am pleased to inform you that you are about three months pregnant, Lady Feyre."

-At first neither believes it

-They haven't been trying, but then again, they haven't been preventing it either

-As soon as the healer leaves, making sure that Feyre promises to show up regularly at the clinic, the couple literally just sit and squeal with excitement for like a solid five minutes

-They are freaking ecstatic, like seriously. Feyre has never seen Rhys so happy before. They're both over the moon

-Because Feyre's already three months pregnant and her scent has changed, they decide to just tell everyone

-Rhys drags Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren down for dinner. Nesta and Elain, being sort of married to some of those people, obviously tag along

-When they're all gathered, Cassian is being all 'what is this even about'

-And Feyre pretty much just jumps up and down and says 'I'm pregnant!'

-Like, she's still so freaking excited

-Of course, the whole Inner Circle pretty much loses it

-Cassian is yelling and patting Rhys on the back, Mor and Elain are both crying, Nesta is actually smiling and so is Azriel. Even Amren seems mildly less annoyed with them for once

-Basically everyone is just so happy for them

-And because Rhys can't keep a secret, almost the entirety of Velaris knows within the week

-Which means that the Court of Nightmares is also aware

-And the Illyrian camps

-And... other Courts

-The citizens of Velaris are all so kind. Feyre gets tons of handmade gifts and lots of food, which is good because she is mostly just hungry and tired all the time

-The Court of Nightmares is... another experience. They give congrats, mostly so they don't seem rude

-But otherwise they don't bother them too much

-Some of the Illyrian camps are hostile, but most are also at least semi-polite

-It's the other Courts Rhys is worried about

-He doesn't think most of them will try anything. But he is concerned

-He doesn't want anything to happen to Feyre or the baby

-So he makes Feyre always keep someone with her just in case. He just wants a buddy system

-Feyre is annoyed at first, but she doesn't want anything to happen either, so she's fine with it. Besides, she likes spending time with her friends and family

-When Feyre is about six months pregnant, Nesta finds out she's pregnant, too

-Which Feyre is ecstatic about, because it means she gets to experience pregnancy with her sister

-Nesta's pregnancy is, unfortunately, a lot harder

-Which means Feyre can't spend as much time with her as she'd like

-But still, it's fun

-At nine months pregnant, Feyre is irritable and uncomfortable

-Rhys spends a few nights in guest bedrooms because Feyre needs the whole bed to sleep

-And some nights she can't sleep at all, so she wanders around the River House aimlessly

-They have a nursery, toys, and so many clothes they don't know what to do with them all

-All they need is a baby

-One day after her due date, Feyre wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night in a pool of water

-She goes to take a bath, trying not to wake up her mate, when she feels it

-A contraction

-It's not that bad, though, so she takes the bath

-She thinks it's just a false alarm, since it was only one and nearly half an hour later there weren't any more

-But when she wakes Rhys up to change the sheets, she feels another

-Again, Rhys being Rhys, gets Madja

-Poor woman, she was probably being called to the River House twice a day because Rhys is an anxious mother hen

-But, guess, what

-Feyre's in labor!

-As far as Fae births go, hers is pretty easy

-Afterwards Feyre doesn't want to know what a hard labor feels like

-Because she was in labor for eleven hours and was in so much pain she couldn't feel her legs halfway through

-Madja nearly had to pull the baby out herself

-Rhys was there to support her the whole way through, and was honestly the only reason Feyre did so well

-If it weren't for him she thinks she wouldn't have been able to do it

-But after everything is said and done

-A little baby boy is asleep on Feyre's chest

-His name is Cirrus Beddor Archeron

-After Clare, the girl who was an unknowing sacrifice to Amarantha

-Cirrus has a head of night-black hair, and tiny little wings wrapped around his body that are nearly translucent with how thin they are

-For Illyrians, they don't gain much body weight soon after birth because all the muscle and fat goes to strengthening the wings

-Which is true for little Cirrus. He's a tiny little bit underweight until he's about a month old

-But damn is he cute

-When he opens his eyes, Feyre nearly gets her breath taken away. He looks exactly like the boy the Bone Carver showed her

-As he gets older, Cirrus is a good kid

-A troublesome toddler, but hey, what can you expect, really? Have you seen his relatives?

-Every now and then he'll say something very weirdly wise for someone so young

-And it's incredibly obvious how powerful he is

-Like, he's got powers from all the Courts, plus extra Night Court powers, PLUS Illyrian genetics and powers

-This kid is crazy powerful

-Which is why Rhys and Feyre train with him relentlessly

-If Cirrus can't expel his powers properly, he could seriously injure someone else. Or even himself

-He's a smart kid, and a strong one

-By the time he's six years old he's got a handle on his powers

-Not enough to properly use them, but enough to control them

-Which is good

-Because Feyre finds herself pregnant again

-This time she's pregnant at the same time as Elain, which is fun again

-And just like last time, her pregnancy is smooth sailing

-Cirrus will practice his reading by reading books to Feyre's belly

-And Rhys is again, overprotective doting mother hen

-This baby is a girl

-And she's the exact opposite of Cirrus

-Feyre's gold-brown hair and violet eyes

-Wings, but not as much power as her older brother

-Her name is Camille Alis Archeron

-Camille's powers are sort of strange

-She has a tiny bit of each power, but her most prominent is not Night Court powers. It's Summer, Day, and Spring

-Camille is a quieter kid

-Cirrus loves her to bits, but sometimes he's just too much for his introverted little sister

-She does, however, get along strangely well with Mor. Even though Mor is her opposite, she's definitely Camille's favorite aunt

-And this little girl also ADORES books

-She spends almost all her time in the library

-When Camille is four years old, another addition joins the Archeron family

-A second baby girl, with hair blacker than the night, and violet eyes

-She looks exactly like Rhys

-Her name is Caliphe Feyre Archeron

-And she's the most troublesome of the three

-It's because she's the baby

-So she gets away with everything

-Cirrus and Camille love their little sister, but she's kind of... ruthless

-Too much time with aunt Amren

-Caliphe is obsessed with jewelry and all things shiny, and is also obsessed with flying and fighting

-She loves to fly more than anything in the entire world

-And Cali also has the strongest Night Court powers of all her siblings

-Her Daemati powers are out of this world. It's completely insane

-She doesn't have any other powers besides those from her father. Nothing from any other Court

-But still, she's freakishly strong

-Feyre and Rhysand have got three of the strongest Fae on their hands

-And you know what?

-Their kids are their joys

-The reason they get up in the morning

-And yeah, maybe Camille is reading instead of doing schoolwork, and Cirrus is causing trouble in the markets, and Caliphe is stealing jewels

-But they wouldn't have it any other way

-The story Worlds of Fire and Darkness takes place when Cirrus is 20, Camille is 14, and Caliphe is 8

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acotar gen 2 #sarah j maas #sjm #feysand #feyre x rhysand

[kweebtrash]

Crawling (M)

Messy Chapter 9

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, The Angst chapter TM

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: alcohol, talks about death/suicide, talks about sexual assault (use of the word rape-in case that offends you), emotional manipulation, description of panic attacks, anxiety, emotional codependency, aggression/intimidation, mentions of blood, mental illnesses/self deprivation/emotional self harm/slight feelings of worthlessness, lots of crying, heavy heavy heavy guilt

Features: kinda sad slow sex?, gentle thrusting, caressing, grinding, protectiveness, biting, heavy make out sessions/tongue sucking, riding, unprotected and protected sex, cumshot, choking, rough fucking

Word Count: 23k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. I’ll edit some more tomorrow if needed. I may have missed some warnings so if you see any you feel I should add let me know. This chapter is kind of personal for me as some of the things I wrote about happened to me irl but still let me know what you think of it regardless.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Jaehyuns POV

I yawned as I flicked through my Instagram feed lazily. I was trying to fall asleep but nothing was working. I rubbed my eyes before setting my arm between my head and the pillow, continuing to scroll and liking a few posts every once in awhile. My phone vibrated signaling that I had a text from Quinn. Just as I was about to click on it I got another notification, this time from Instagram. It was a message request from an account I didn't follow. I was mostly tempted to ignore it until more and more messages filtered through. I sighed and finally opened it, seeing words that made my blood run cold.

Rixtrix666: Hey

Rixtrix666: I really need to talk to you

Rixtrix666:It's about me and Johnny

This damn bitch couldn't leave us alone. First, she made Johnny's life a living hell and now she was trying to get to him through me. I clicked on her profile to block her, briefly catching the dozens of pictures she had of her and Johnny. In each one he looked miserable and void of any feeling whatsoever. I could only imagine what he went through before I told him I would help. At first I had been offended that he hadn't come to me as soon as it started taking a turn for the worse but after he explained what she had done to him I could see his thought process behind it. He didn't want to be ridiculed or chastised. Hell, he didn't even think people would believe him. If I hadn't known him for all these years then maybe I wouldn't have either. But anyone with a brain could see how he wasn't himself anymore. Just seeing her message brought back memories of terror that I shared with him for over a month. Why couldn't she just fucking leave us be? I opened up the message, ready to tear into her but what she sent me stopped me in my tracks completely. I shot up in bed instantly, my hands shaking as my throat felt like it was closing up. I accepted her request and immediately responded.

What the fuck is that?

Rixtrix666: what does it look like?

Rixtrix666: he's blocked me everywhere else

Rixtrix666: I need to tell him. Please. That's why I sent you this msg

You're lying. You're a fucking manipulative bitch

I don't need you fucking up his life again

I mean it

Rixtrix666: please jaehyun

Rixtrix666: I need to talk to him

Rixtrix666: the proof is in the picture! It's a positive test

Whats your fuckin number

I'm calling you

Answer the phone right fucking now!!

Once she sent her number, I dialed it immediately. "Listen here-"

She cut me off. "Jaehyun! I mean it! Please, I'm begging you! I need to talk to him!'

"Fuck!" I yelled. She was starting to make me nervous with the urgency in her voice. I didn't know what to do. I was torn between believing her or blocking her and keeping this a secret. She had already caused so much damage and this was just going to make everything worse. I was on edge and her squaking in my ear wasn't making anything better. I sprinted towards my door, flinging it open and heading straight towards Johnny's room. I didn't even bother knocking and instead shoved his door open. He jumped up, the most confused expression written across his face. I had no idea how to say it or even where to begin explaining so I thrust my phone in his face.

"Talk! Talk now!' I blurted out.

He raised his brow and took my cell tentatively. As soon as he pressed it to his ear and heard those words the coloring drained from his face. His breathing switched immediately and it was like he was drowning, gasping deeply and struggling to fight against the waters. I didn't understand why it was happening and I certainly didn't know how to fix it which caused me to go into a deeper panic. My phone slipped from his hand and I managed to catch it before it crashed to the floor. Rixi was still going on about the pregnancy until I yelled in her ear. "Send me your address right now. We're coming over."

"F-fine! I need to see him anyway. We have to get back together. For the sake of the baby."

I didn't have time to blow up on her, especially with Johnny looking like he was ready to pass out at any minute. I discarded my phone on the bed and grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to shake him out of it. "Dude! Look at me! We're gonna figure this out together ok? She's lying. I know she is. You don't have to worry." His breath was still far from normal. "J-Johnny, man, w-what's wrong? You're freaking me out! P-please stop breathing like that!"

His eyes showed nothing but fear, his body completely tense, like he wasn't able to control it. My heart thundered and in a  last ditch effort, I just hugged him. I squeezed him tight and held on, hoping that somehow that could comfort him enough to calm down. I was scared too. Absolutely terrified. I didn't want him to go back into that abuse and though I didn't believe that she was actually pregnant, if there was even the slightest possibility that she was his life was over. On top of that I knew his feelings for Eri were growing no matter how much he was trying to deny it. She may not want to be around him if he had a kid and that would just devastate him. I pleaded to whatever cosmic being was watching over to give Johnny every ounce of strength it took for him to be happy.

Just then, I slowly felt his hand creep up to settle on my back. He was responding now at least even if it was minimal. "We're gonna get through this together, ok? You're my brother. I won't let her ruin this, I swear it."

He inhaled with a sharp gasp and I shot back in fear that his breathing had gotten worse somehow. It was the opposite thankfully and it looked like he had finally gotten his head above water. "W-what…" He rasped softly. "What am I going to do?"

"We're going to buy some tests and make her take them in front of us. I need to make sure she isn't playing any games. I want living proof. If she's going to try me, then she's messing with the wrong dude."

"What if, Jae? What if…"

"Don't think like that, man. Think about Eri. She needs you when she comes back and you're gonna be there, ok?"

He nodded and I helped him up from the bed. "Let's go, I'll drive. Just get your coat on." I ran to the front door and grabbed my car keys, shoving on my own coat in the process. Johnny was walking much slower. I grabbed his arm to move him along and attempt to snap him out of it. I guided him downstairs and into my car like a child. I knew he was really too shocked to process anything but my adrenaline was kicking in big time and I needed to be his rationality for now. I hopped in and sped to the nearest pharmacy, pulling into the parking lot in a screeching halt. I ran in, my own breath starting to give out from going so fast, and grabbed the biggest pack of pregnancy tests I could find. When I got to the register I fumbled with my wallet and card, angered at myself for shaking so bad. I took a deep breath and ignored the weird stares I was getting from the cashier before my payment went through and I yanked it out the card reader. I grabbed the box and got back into the car hoping that Johnny was still safe. Realistically, I should have taken him into the store with me to keep an eye on him but I knew he would only slow me down.

I checked my phone to make sure Rixi had sent me her address. Thankfully she did and I plugged it into my GPS, zooming back out onto the road. The box of tests sat between us halfway stuck in my cup holder, rattling menacingly as an omen of what was to come. I tried not focusing on it so much through the silence Johnny and I shared. I wanted to give him some form of assurance but i was at a lost to what more I could do or say. Instead, I gripped the steering wheel tighter feeling the leather cover squeak beneath my fingers. The ride was short but felt painfully long. When we finally arrived at the apartment complex it loomed over us and made me feel like I was going into battle. I took a deep breath and nudged at Johnny. “Let’s go.”

I grabbed the tests as I stepped out of the car. Johnny looked like he was ready to pass out at any moment. I set my arm around his shoulders and lead us to her apartment door. I banged on it harshly, impatiently waiting for her to open it. When she did, I could see tears still running down her cheeks and she made an attempt to hold onto Johnny. He stepped back quick and I moved between them. "Don't you dare think about touching him. Take these tests now." I pressed the box to her chest and glared down at her.”

“W-what? What is this? How could you not believe me?!” She squeaked.

"Because we can't trust anything you say. You're a liar, Rixi and I need to know what happened that night." Johnny spat.

“You know what happened.” Rixi growled. “You got high and wanted to fuck. You realize you were on X, right? That’s what happens. You wanted it.”

I didn't want to have her talk to him any further. The uncertainty was already weighing on us and I needed it to disappear as fast as it had arrived. I kept myself between them but shifted Rixi around to face the direction of her bathroom. "Get moving." I commanded.

“You can't tell me what to do! I'm not taking these!"

With my patience wearing thin I shoved her harshly and kept her moving until the three of us crammed into the small space. "Oh, you're gonna take them. I don't have time for your bullshit and you definitely do not want to piss me off." I locked the door, making sure she had no means of escaping. “Do it.”

“I’m not going to pee with you two in here.”

“Just take the damn test, Rixi!” Johnny snapped.

“I don’t have to go right now!”

I grabbed her shoulders and pressed her down onto the toilet. “Start thinking of waterfalls then because you will do it.”

“F-fine! If it will get you to shut up. It’ll just be positive anyway!” I leaned back against the wall, glaring her down the entire time to make sure that she didn’t try anything funny. Her hands were shaking as she tore into the plastic and opened the box. Johnny was trying to pace within the small area and I reached out to grab his shoulder harshly. He stopped and instead switched to shuffling his weight between his feet. The wait was irritating and super awkward but it had to be done. Eventually she was able to take the test and slammed it on the counter. I set a timer on my phone so we knew exactly when it was done processing. It was a mere 5 minutes but each second made us all more anxious. Rixi was darting her eyes around frantically as she tried to keep herself covered. Johnny was mumbling to himself, almost wedged into the corner while his nails dug into the cheap wallpaper. My foot bounced quickly as I tried to funnel my nerves somewhere else. The wait was absolute death and I was starting to feel the sweat creep down the back of my neck. Finally, the timer went off and all three of us jumped up. Rixi made a grab at the test but I caught her hand in mine and Johnny snatched it up. He held it between us and we both stared at the reading. What the fuck did that mean?

“What does it say!?" Johnny panicked, the answer still unbeknownst to us. Rixi squirmed in my grip, making me release her. She yanked it out of Johnny's hand and cradled it to her chest.

“It means i’m pregnant of course!” She said as if it was obvious.

I grabbed at her small hands having to pry it out of her. “I saw it! It was one line."

Johnny grabbed the box and turned it over, skimming over the directions. “You fuckin’ bitch!”

“What?! What?! What does it mean?!” I screamed.

“She’s not fuckin’ pregnant!!” Johnny almost launched himself over me to try and grab at Rixi but I was able to block him.

“It could be wrong! Why would I lie to you?! I love you!” Rixi protested.

"You love me?!" Johnny scoffed. "If you loved me you wouldn't have raped me!"

My head snapped over to my best friend, my brother, my family away from home. He had told me about the way Rixi hit him and tried to keep our friends away but he never told me that.

"That's not what happened! Why do you keep saying that?! I would never!"

I set the test down and told Johnny to leave the bathroom, confusing both he and Rixi. When he didn't comply right away, I yelled at him. It wasn't because I was upset but rather he might have stopped me from what I was about to do. It took a bit of coercion but he eventually left me alone with the shedemon. I stood in front of her, setting my hands on either side of the toilet tank. My face was just centimeters from hers and I could feel the nervousness of her breath against my lips. "You…" I laughed not even sure where to begin. "You hurt one of the only people I care about. I mean incomprehensible damage to his mind, his body, his feelings and you come around again, like an infectious disease. You can say that you didn't hurt him all you want but that's only because you're sick. What I need you to do, and what you're going to do, is take this second test. Once I get that negative result again I will make fucking sure you will never ever be able to go near Johnny ever."

"If you t-touch me I'm calling the police!!"

"Oh, call them. Then you can get arrested for what you've done to him."

"They wouldn't believe that I could hurt him. I mean he's a man, a big one at that. If something was really wrong he could've easily defended himself." She said, a little too smug for my own liking.

She had admitted what Johnny had feared- that no one would believe him and he would be seen as a joke. It made me absolutely furious but I held my composure in the meantime. I smiled at her and grabbed the second test out the box, holding it in front of her. "Take the test."

"No. I'm not doing anything else you ask for. You can't force me."

"Oh, so you don't like being forced to do things but you're okay with forcing yourself onto drugged out men? That's mighty hypocritical of you, Rixi. Now again, I'll tell you one more time, pretty nicely I think, take the test." I shifted my hand to her shoulder, gripping it hard. "And don't worry. I wouldn't hit you. That would be hypocritical as well, right? You can only hit Johnny, right?"

"I was just playing around. I wasn't hitting him like that!"

"The bruises said otherwise."

"He bruises easily."

I squeezed her shoulder harder, watching her try and squirm away from my grasp but ultimately failing. "Take the test, Rixi."

"Get off me!"

"TAKE THE TEST!!" I yelled, my entire body trembling. It took a lot to get me this angry, this absolutely volatile. She was able to bring it out of me in mere minutes and I promised her that she wouldn't like what she saw next if she didn't comply with my orders. Johnny pounded on the door, asking what was wrong. He knew when I yelled that shit was serious. I ignored him and shoved the test towards her again. She snatched it from me as another round of crocodile tears started to flow.

I wasn't so patient this time with her stalling and complaining about not being able to pee. I sure as hell was able to convince her to get a move on when I snapped the first test in half and slapped the box off the counter, my voice growing louder with each vengeful move. Once she managed to get enough on the stick through her whining, we waited again. The same result was concluded and I sighed deeply. I washed my hands and wiped the excess water on my jeans. "So, we've established that you're never coming near him again and that I'm going to make sure there's a restraining order on you. On top of that I'll make sure I find ways to make your life a living hell just like you did to Johnny. Do you understand me?"

"You ruined everything. He was going to be mine!"

"Aren't you just a cute soap opera villain? Things don't work that way in the real world. You don't get what you want when people are like you. You get institutionalized. What the hell did you think was going to happen when you didn't shit out a kid in 9 months? That Johnny would've stayed? He's got more important things to worry about like his girlfriend. The person you will never be."

"You mean that stupid slut that tried to fight me?" She said angrily.

I smiled. "Say that to Johnny's face. He'll tell you how much he's in love with her. They spend so much time together it's almost sickening. You never even had a chance. Don't try and put your hands on him or his life again. If you try me again, I can get you charged with something much worse like you deserve."

I yanked the door open and Johnny met my eyes instantly. “What did you do? What happened? I heard yelling.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be okay.”

“You think really think she’s going to stay away from me? She-She’s insane! She’s never going to leave me alone and-”

“I got this. I’m not going to let anything else happen to you.” I promised. “I’m gonna take you home, we just gotta make a stop first.” I started leading him towards the door, looking back at Rixi who was looking defeated for now. Somehow I felt like she was going to plot something far more dangerous and even though I had won this battle it didn't feel like I had won the war just yet. I was ready for anything she was plotting though. I vowed to make sure she never hurt my brother again.

--

Eri’s POV

In the short time that I was back home on the island my world had crumbled and I had no idea where to even begin trying to piece it back together. I didn’t exactly regret my mom forcing me to go back but I wished I did have more time to plan but how could you plan a death? How do you plan losing someone who helped raise you, who drove you to school every morning, who was married to your grandmother for over 50 years, who you knew and loved since you were born? How did you even begin to prepare for that?

I had spent the entire week being at the brunt end of emotion after emotion. There were fights about everything-the house, mortgage, money, cars, insurance. I had to sift through paperwork of things I didn't even understand and with my family's barely high school level education from the 80s, they didn't understand much either. One of my aunt's tried to guide us through beneficiaries and all that bullshit but it was still a foreign language to us all. It made me restless at night and with the worry of my grandpa's health already on my mind I was basically running on fumes. It didn’t help my depression and it sure as hell didn’t help that I always had to get up early and do things around the house, head to the hospital for visitation hours, make trips to the grocery store, cook food, or buy anything we needed.

As the oldest I had somehow become the scapegoat and my mother’s favorite object to lash out on. Everyday there was some sort of argument and it came to the point that I just wanted to have a day of relaxation. I wanted to go to the beach, my absolute sanctuary and place of peace, but that was denied from me. My mom guilted me into thinking that I didn’t deserve to have that time to myself, that it was inappropriate for me to think of this as a “vacation.” That wasn't how I felt at all and I merely wanted to attempt to recapture my sanity. After having my umpteenth argument with her I took it upon myself to sneak out of my grandma’s house like a teenager and go to a bar. Dani had found out about my little plan and blackmailed me into taking her along. Our cousin Maricella, who I hadn’t seen since I lived on the island ten years ago, was our getaway car.

It was an outdoor bar by the beach so I still got to have a little bit of peace. The mosquitoes were out and chewing up my legs like no other but it was way too hot to wear anything but short shorts and a bralette. Mari got us a round of shots while Dani and I took up residence at a table by a tiki torch, hoping the flame would keep some of the bugs at bay. Every once in awhile a sea breeze would rattle through the boardwalk style patio and bless us with relief and the tangy smell of salt water. I exhaled deeply and took out my almost finished second pack of cigarettes. I was starting to become a chimney because of all the stress and today was no different. It started off with light cigarettes but this pack had somehow turned into menthols. I still hated the taste but it was almost oddly comforting to have that hint of Johnny by my side. I lit one up, watching Dani’s nose wrinkle.

“I thought you hated those.” She commented.

“I do.” I took in a deep drag while scratching at a mosquito bite on my leg. “But it's what they had at the supermarket…” I lied.

“Your boyfriend smokes them.”

I shot her an incredulous look. “What?”

“Johnny. Your boyfriend. The hot six foot tall Korean with emo hair and lips that look like they commit a sin every time he talks. You know, that one.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend. He told me you figured out we were faking it at the party. How did you know he smoked menthols?”

“He asked me where your clutch was while you were off with Josue and I saw him take them out. Had to move some condoms out of the way to get to them though. Magnums? Guess what they say about Asians isn’t always true.”

“DANIELLA, POR FAVOR.” I screamed. “Why are you like this?” She was making me cringe just hearing her talk like that. She was only 15, i didn’t want to think about her knowing about anything related to sex at all.

“Because I’m your sister and you taught me how to be this way. Can I try it?” She nodded towards my cigarette.

“No, I’m supposed to be a good influence on you.”

“Ok, well influence me to drink and smoke and fuck a bunch of guys in college. If they look like Johnny, I’m down.”

I smacked my hand to my forehead and internally groaned. She was right, being a little shit ran in the family and I had definitely groomed her to somehow have the same attitude as I did. I had make the mistake of telling her about my college adventures (usually leaving out the details of my sex life) but apparently it was enough information for her to throw it back in my face. I reluctantly handed her the cigarette just as Maricella came back with a tray of shots. “Mari, my hero. Thank fuck.” I let out a sigh of relief.

“I got half dark, half white liquor so pick your poison. I used to fuck the bartender so I basically got everything for free.” She said before downing a shot of vodka.

“Why is everyone in our family sluts?” Dani coughed as she took a drag, quickly handing it back to me. “That is fuckin’ disgusting. How do you smoke those let alone kiss him when he tastes like that!”

“Wait, wait, wait. Who are you kissing?” Mari asked as she scooted onto the bar stool. “You got a man?”

I tossed back three shots, one after the other, then reached for the tequila so I could definitely forget about ever having this conversation. “No, I do not. There’s no man.”

Dani grabbed a shot herself, sniffing the liquor a bit. “I’m pretty sure your facetimes every night say otherwise. I can hear y'all say ‘I miss you so much, baby.’ from my room!” She took a deep breath before sipping the liquor slowly, managing to get it down in one take but recoiling her body in disgust. She rubbed at her chest trying to take the edge off somehow.

I could feel my face flaring up instantly. “That-that’s not true! We just...We’re just kinda in a weird place right now, ok?!

“Drink more so you can tell me about him! I wanna know!!” Mari giggled. She coaxed another shot towards me which I took instantly. There were a few drags in between her taunting and my stalling but eventually I had to cave in just to get them both to shut up.

I gulped down my fifth shot and sighed as I already started feeling the buzz. “He’s just this guy...we’ve been screwing around for like...four months now. I took him to the quince because you know how everyone is, asking me when I’m gonna get a boyfriend, ignoring that I like girls, belittling what I’m studying in college. So i asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend so they could get off my back."

"Except-" Dani interrupted. "Now they're totally in love with each other but won't admit it!"

"Ay, nena, don't you know to never catch feelings? That makes shit too complicated." Mari nudged my shoulder.

I tapped out my ashes. "He told me that I would never be his girlfriend and that's completely fine by me!" I lied and reached for another glass, letting out a deep sigh.

"Do you want to be his girlfriend?" Mari posed the dangerous question.

I stood quiet for a long time not really knowing how to answer that. He made it clear that he didn't want me to be his girlfriend but got jealous over Taeyong and Josue. He was constantly coming back around to fuck me (and vice versa) and now we had spent almost every night talking on the phone to each other. He had listened to me complain about my family for hours on end. Even when it got too late and I could tell how tired he was, he stayed up with me until sleep got the better of him. I would leave our FaceTime camera screens open, propping my phone against my pillow, and imagining that he was sleeping beside me though we were thousands of miles apart. He would hold his little rilakkuma keychain in his fist, keeping the head pressed to his lips as he slept. My heart would melt into a messy puddle of feelings I wanted to ignore but it was hard when you were screaming how much you were in love in your head.

"Heyyyyy," Mari nudged me out of my stupor. “Spill it girl!”

“The truth is I really don’t know what I want from him. Maybe I do want to be his girlfriend but what am I going to do once I have him? I’ve only ever had two relationships before and they both ended horribly. I’m so incredibly afraid to love anyone and honestly I don’t think he knows how to be a boyfriend either. We’re really messy and broken and always going up and down. It’s hard to figure anything out with him. I’m stressed that I love him. I’m stressed that I hate him. I’m stressed that I want to be with him but don’t want to be with him and I’m stressed that i know for sure he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m a mess, ok?”

“Eri, you should really stop lying to yourself and everyone around you about how you feel about him.” Dani added. I shot her a death glare and hoped to all hell she would shut up.

Mari just patted my shoulder. “You got it bad and you’re way over your head. I’m gonna get more drinks. You look like you need to be drunk.” She left us again and I rubbed my temples, sighing deeply.

“If he’s an asshole I don't want you to be with him but I know he does love you.” Dani added.

“Dani, don’t joke like that. It’s fine. Nothing is going to happen between us.”

“It will. Just give it time. I don’t think you’ll have to stress about him much longer but you should tell him.”

“I’m not going to make a damn fool out of myself and get rejected.”

“You won’t know until you actually try, Eri. Trust me.”

“What would you know about relationships? We’re adults. It’s different than that high school crap.”

“I know enough jerk. Why are you cranky when you’re drunk?”

“I’m not drunk.” I huffed. “I’m going to drink more then get drunk.” Dani crossed her arms and rolled her eyes and I let her sit in her feelings while I tried to avoid mine entirely. Mari came back then as if on queue and set down a giant bowl of piña colada to share between the three of us and a few more shots. We latched onto the straws and sucked deeply, almost in a race to see who could get toasted the fastest. Dani was number one contender as after a few sips she was starting to sway in her seat.

“I still want to hear more about this boy.” Mari said.

I groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Pleassseeeeee! We never got to talk about boys when we were younger. We’re like making up time from being apart. You have to!”

I sniffled and tossed the end of my cigarette towards the sand. "Fine.” I grumbled. “I'm completely and totally in love with him. He's so fucking stupid and infuriating all the time. Like he can never talk about shit outright. I have to pry it out of him but he's had so much happen to him and I think he deserves to be happy. I want to be the person that makes him happy and supports him and-" I swallowed more gulps of piña colada as if was going to stop my meltdown. "He takes really nice pictures because he loves photography and he really cares about his mom and-and like we always talk about music and stuff. He's such a big dumb...DUMMY HEAD."

"Ay dios, what does this dummy head look like?" Mari asked. I set my phone out on the table and opened my secret folder of Johnny's pictures that I had saved.

"There. He looks like the biggest fucking fuckboy that ever lived." I whined.

"Well...I mean he's not my type,” She said as she flicked through the photos. ‘But Santo Dios, Jesus y la Virgencita THAT'S HIS DICK???"

I almost slammed my head onto the table. "YEAH THAT'S LIKE THE WORST PART."

"Waiiiiittttt! Lemme see! Lemme see!!" Dani squealed.

Mari at least had the decency to keep my phone away from my sister and preserve her hopefully still intact innocence. "No, this is not for you!" Mari turned to me and whispered, "You better get this shit straightened out soon. No man is worth heartache no matter how big or how good his dick is."

"Yeah but it's really gooooooodddd." I sniffled and pulled the incredibly long straw to my lips, sucking down more of the mixed drink.

"I don't care. You need to focus on yourself, especially with what's going on now."

"I don't want to focus on myself or what's going on now! That's like the last thing I want to focus on! I want to focus on the way he falls asleep while we FaceTime, or the stuffed bear that he got me that I sleep with every night, or the way his clothes smells, or his arms feel around me, or like...anything else but this shit! Please, Mari...anything else but this."

She sighed deeply and rubbed her hand across my back. "Damn...you really really got it bad."

I nodded and kept my head on the table sealing my lips from any more embarrassment. I was starting to get a little incoherent with all my drinking so I was sure I replied to her but didn't quite remember what I said. I was fading into a half sleep state and wanted to sink into the boardwalk. If I got drunk enough to completely pass out it would be the best sleep I'd have this entire trip. The only thing that could seal the deal was some bug spray and air conditioning. Mari shoved at me and landed panicked slaps to my back. I nudged my head up a little and opened one eye. "Whhaaaaa-?"

"Titi is calling! She must have found out we snuck out!!"

Dani almost burst into tears instantly. "I'm gonna get so grounded!!!"

I shushed her and took the phone instantly. "Fuck that. She's just gonna yell at me and I don't have time for that. I'm sick of her shit. She's only making this worse."

"Yeah but…" Mari cautioned. "If you ignore her she's going to blow up. You better answer."

I let the phone vibrate some more. The call hung up and started again over and over until it irritated me enough to answer. "What?!"

That set off a firework show of yelling and crying, tired explanations of her to stop treating me like a child or using me as a scapegoat, arguments about my duties in the house and guilting me that I didn't care about my grandpa one bit and bringing up the vacation thing. My body was vibrating with anger. It felt like my meds didn't even have an effect on me anymore and I was nothing but flames and sorrow. Mari tried to calm me down and Dani ended up crying and holding onto me begging for us to stop fighting. I had drawn so much attention with my yelling that everyone at the bar stared like I was some strange anomaly. Mari dragged me away then with Dani still clutching onto me and got us into the car. I hung up the phone during my mother's rant and tossed it somewhere I didn't care to find.

There was no point in holding everything in anymore. I screamed, I cried, I stopped breathing, I wanted to die. Everything came crashing down on me at once and that was when I truly felt my world crumble into nothingness. I didn't have a hold of myself. My body was shutting down, my mind becoming numb and unable to process anything. I didn't even realize we had gotten to my grandma's house until we actually pulled up. Everything seemed like a blur. When I stepped out of the car my legs gave way and I crashed hard into the pavement, crying and scarcely able to breathe. Consciousness wasn't my friend and I could only remember flashes of memory; my grandma holding me, my aunt telling me to breathe, my mom screaming in confusion, violently vomiting, and blood trickling down my head. I didn't know how long the panic attack lasted but I fell asleep in my mother's arms, finally being comforted by her love rather than frustrations.

When I did wake up it was the next day. I was forced to get up early in the morning. My head felt like it was going to explode. My hand was also throbbing and I didn’t understand why. I slowly got up from the bed, my body feeling like it weighed tons. Across the bed were the mirrored closet doors of the guest room and I could see bandages across my head and my knuckles. What even happened to my hand? I was confused and still felt groggy. I laid back down and fumbled around for my phone looking at the influx of messages I had received. There were a few from Lucas which entailed of a bunch of crying and kissy emojis saying that he missed me, one from Yuta asking me if I was ok because he hadn’t heard from me in awhile and even more from Johnny.

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: hey

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: did you sleep all day? I hope so. you need it

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: wanna call me when you get a chance?

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: I’ll be home at like 11

I wished I could’ve called him at that moment but at least it would be the highlight of my day later on as I was sure today was going to be a shit show. I wanted to go back to sleep and be left alone but my mom wouldn’t let me. We had to go visit my grandpa again which was also the last thing I wanted to do after suffering through that panic attack last night. Seeing him hooked up to monitors and oxygen was the icing on the cake to my guilt ridden feelings. The day went by at the slowest pace and I made movements to shuffle around my family but I was on autopilot. I was able to catch a nap in the late afternoon and woke up a little bit close to midnight. Johnny was the first thing on my mind and I called him hoping that he was still awake. He answered almost immediately, his toothbrush stuck in his mouth. “Hey babe.” He mumbled around it.

“Hey.” I croaked back.

He held a finger up, asking me to hold on while he rinsed out his mouth. I adjusted myself in bed in the meantime, making sure to hide the swollen area of my head and my hand. I didn’t want him to worry more than he already had been over the time I was gone. I watched him head over to his room and plop down on his bed, holding the phone above him.

“You look like shit, girl.”

“Yes, hello to you too, Johnathan.”

“You know what I mean. What's going on?"

I scoffed. "More like what isn't going on. My mom is continuously being an asshole to me but we had a half moment yesterday i guess. I got kinda drunk because I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore and it went downhill from there."

"Babe." He said sternly.

"Don't fuckin give me that commanding voice. I'm trying, ok? I'd rather be numb."

"I don't want you to be numb. I want you to feel. I want you to feel everything including me."

"But why do I have to carry everyone? Why do I have to do everything and stay struggling while taking a beating every day?"

"I know it's not fair. It's really not fucking fair and it pisses me off that you have to go through that. Like really pisses me off. I wish I was there with you, seriously."

I stood quiet for a moment, watching him shift and set his phone across from him. I loved that he was on my side and wanted to be here with me. It would’ve helped tremendously but i didn’t know how to thank him enough for being my support system this time. I swallowed back my feelings and tried to show how much he meant to me in a different way. "I've been smoking menthols because of you." I finally whispered.

"Ooohhhh you're in love with me now. That's a sign."

"W-what?" My eyes went wide instantly and so did his.

"U-uh...joking. Totally joking. Um...but I guess I'm influencing you."

I kept my face hidden as I wanted to scream at all my romantic emotions that were starting to surface. “S-shut up.”

“Um...anyway...what’s going on? Today, i mean.” He said trying to change the subject instantly.

“I don’t know. My head is kinda fuzzy. It feels like i’m just floating in and out. I feel guilty about so many things and I just keep thinking about my grandpa.” I was kicking myself as the tears started flowing again. I was starting to think that I was turning into the sea with how much I had cried. I apologized to him, feeling stupid for taking up our time with my whining and ugly sobs. He kept telling me that he didn’t care and would spend all night watching me cry if he had to. He reminded me of when I told him it was okay to cry and his empathy just made me ache for him even more. “I miss you…” I hiccuped. I just wanted his comfort, his warmth, his everything.

He sniffled and cleared his throat. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” There were more tears then and more shoving of my head into the pillow. I felt like I was annoying him but that was just my anxiety and over thinking talking.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” His voice was like warm honey. I peeked up at him and rubbed viciously at my eyes. “When you come back, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I cracked a small smile, really wishing that I could be back home with them. “I know…I-” Suddenly my mom burst into my room in hysterics. It happened. It finally happened and I almost breathed a sigh of relief. The wait and suffering was over and for  a small window of time it felt ok. I turned back to Johnny, seeing our video get pixelated a bit. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” I ended the call and ran out to the living room. Everyone was frantically trying to get themselves together to head to the hospital. I stood staring at the chaos, unmoving and numb. It hit like a ton of bricks then and I realized that after all this build up I couldn’t do it. I returned to my room, barricading myself in as I was unable to cope with anything else. I had to find a way out of here but I was so broke and I knew my mom wouldn't pay for me to leave. She would force me to stay even longer and I couldn't do that. She was already banging at my door to come out of my room and get into the car.

I just screamed that I didn't want to go to the hospital and curled up in the corner of the room. I immediately dialed Quinn's number and begged them to please buy me a plane ticket. They didn't hesitate one bit but the earliest they could get me something was three days from now. A lot of the flights were booked, some overbooked even. I accepted it as I would take anything I could get at this point. Once the commotion in the house died down I packed my bag and called Mari to pick me up. I convinced her to let me hide out in her house and not say a word to my family. I lied to my mom that I was already back home and ignored the rest of her calls until the day came where I could finally leave this fucking island.

When the plane landed I was hit with the icy winter air that I didn't miss at all. Quinn was waiting for me to arrive with open arms. I squeezed them as tight as I could, needing that familiar feeling of safety that I hadn't been able to experience recently. They took one look at me and I could see sadness written all over their face. I didn't know if I should start talking and I was sure they didn't know if they should ask anymore questions about what happened. Instead, the two of us decided silence was better and got into my car that they had driven up to the airport. I fell asleep almost immediately. I was so exhausted and ready to never wake up again. When we arrived home, Quinn refused to let me stay in my room by myself. I wanted to protest but i had zero energy to do so. Instead I followed them to their room. They probably assumed that with my disheveled appearance and urgent phone call that I might have been on the verge of hurting myself. I didn't blame them, the thought had popped into my mind a few times since the beginning of the week but I was able to settle down since then. We snuggled close, burying ourselves under their heavy comforter and holding each other's hands. I squeezed tight and prayed that this feeling would go away soon. With only the sound of our breathing to comfort me I was starting to fall asleep again but the solitude was interrupted by aggressive banging on our front door. Quinn shot up quickly, asking me to stay behind while they investigated. I was worried to let them go by themselves, wondering what danger could be lurking behind the door within my paranoia. It fizzled once I heard Jaehyun's deep voice fill up the living room with frantic worry. He was talking so fast that I couldn’t make out what he was saying but it seemed to be important. I tiptoed out of the room to meet them both.

“Jae! Jae! You have to calm down! Slow down! We’re going to figure this out together!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down Quinn! I can’t help it!” His eyes caught mine and he barreled over to me, gripping my shoulders tight. “Eri! You need to help me! Johnny is missing!”

--

Jaehyun’s POV

It had been three days but I felt like I had realized it all too late. After I had made Johnny file the restraining order we went back home. He remained distant, which I expected so I let him be. He had gone through so much that night I figured he needed some time alone to clear his mind. I didn't think much of it when he said he was going to stay in his room to try and sleep. Everything seemed ok. The next day I didn’t see him around campus or at the apartment. I assumed it was just maybe because of our schedules. The day after I sent him a text and checked his room periodically- still nothing. His car had disappeared too. That was when I felt a pang of panic; something was definitely wrong. My dozens and dozens of calls and texts had gone unanswered, none of our friends had seen him, his jobs weren’t aware of anything. It was like he ghosted out of existence which made my heart drop into my stomach. I could only pray that he was ok but all the negative thoughts were infiltrating my mind like a raid. I was pacing frantically throughout our apartment trying to figure out some sort of plan but it was no use. I needed help. That was when Quinn popped into my head.

I sped over to her apartment and in no time I was slamming my fists on the door, anxiously waiting. She opened it, confused to see me. “Jae? What’s going-”

“I need your help! I need your help really really really badly. Something happened to Johnny and I don't know what else to do. I’m freaking out here. What if he’s dead? What if like someone killed him? What if-”

“Jae! Jae! You have to calm down! Slow down! We’re going to figure this out together!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down Quinn! I can’t help it!” I heard a door open and looked up to see Eri. She looked like a fucking mess but if Johnny wouldn’t respond to me then maybe he would respond to her. I rushed over and grabbed her by her shoulders. “Eri! You need to help me! Johnny is missing!”

"W-what do you mean he's missing?!" She asked, completely stunned.

"I haven't seen him in three days. He hasn't answered my texts or calls. No one else has seen him. Have you heard from him?"

She shook her head. "I've been out of the states and I just got back. I haven’t been able to talk to him either. I wasn’t really able to pay attention to my phone for awhile. Y-you don't think he'd h-h-hurt himself, do you?"

I swallowed hard. I really didn’t know the answer to that question. "I hope to all hell not."

"Give me your keys to the apartment." Eri said suddenly.

"What? Why? He's not there!"

"Just trust me! I'm going to check something out. You get anyone who wants to help to start searching his normal spots. We need to check everywhere. If anything file a missing persons report."

"E-Eri wait!" Quinn interjected. "You just got back and with everything that's happened I don't know if it's safe for you to be alone."

Eri tightened her hand into a fist at her side and I noticed one was covered in bandages. Was everything going to hell and a handbasket with these two? "Look I can't lose anyone else. I always have to do everything myself and I'm gonna find him. Give me the keys, Jae."

I dug into the pocket of my jeans and tossed them over to her. She seemed determined and seemed to be way more prepared than I was. Quinn held onto my arm tight as Eri grabbed her coat and car keys. "Eri! Please be careful!” Quinn shouted. Eri left then, slamming the door shut behind her. Quinn wrapped her arms around me suddenly, burying her face in my stomach. "Jae, now i'm really worried. What's going on?"

"I have to tell you something important. There's so much and I'm so so scared to lose him, Quinn. He's my best friend. He's the only family I have here." My throat started to feel scratchy and I realized that I was on the verge of tears. I never really cried like this- it was so strange. I mean of course I was worried but I guess with everything hitting me it stirred up feelings about Johnny that I hadn't thought about in awhile. "He's been there for me since I came over from Korea. Like he's helped me with so much. What am I gonna do without him?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to push back tears that were coming through against my will.

She squeezed me tighter. "Jae, it's going to be ok. We're gonna figure this all out. I promise." She stood on her tip toes and I bent down to kiss her gently. "Tell me what happened…"

I sighed and sniffled a little bit, wiping my nose with the back of my hoodie sleeve. "I, uh, Rixi came back. Remember her?

Quinn nodded.

"Well she told Johnny she was pregnant."

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry, she isn't. I forced her to take tests in front of us so she wouldn't be able to lie but all the manipulation and shit got to Johnny. He kept breathing weird and I didn't know what to do. I just tried my best to protect him, you know? He'd do that for me and then I made him file a restraining order. After that we went home and he said he wanted to be alone. I figured it was just because everything was hitting him at once and he couldn’t really catch a break. I didn’t think much of it but now he’s been gone for so long that I can't help but think of the worst." I returned her hug, squeezing her tiny body desperately to mine. "She raped him, Quinn...that's what Johnny said. I didn't know- I couldn't help…"

"Jaehyun, don't ever say that. You do not blame yourself and put all that guilt on you. You've helped Johnny more than anyone and there's no way he doesn't appreciate it. You're a good friend and a good brother. There's a lot to process when something like that happens...it’s just...it's not easy." She pushed my hair back and kissed my temple. Her words calmed me down a little even though I still felt the guilt. I just wanted to know that my friend was okay.

"Look," she continued. "Eri is going through a lot too. I know how it feels when you think you can't help but some things are just out of our hands. We have to trust that they can find him and we have to work on our end too."

"What if Rixi came back and did something to him?" I suddenly thought. I rushed into more panic and boiling anger.

"Focus Jae. We can’t think of something that terrible right now. We can check her place though since it’s a possibility. I can get Lucas and maybe Yuta to help and they can start there. You call the police and I’ll try and get them to help and check in on Eri, ok?

I nodded, glad that she was able to be my voice of reason. "Quinn….I-I don't really know what I'd do without you…"

She smiled. "Well duh, I'm amazing." She gave me another kiss and I cupped her face, loving the feeling of her soothing warmth against me. It was kind of odd how a few months could change the entirety of your view on something. We were both throwing ourselves at other people almost nightly, losing ourselves in a last ditch effort to forget all the bullshit that surrounded our lives. I could forget that facade I constantly was putting up about being likeable and unafraid in America. I had been here for years already but I still felt out of place. Quinn could forget the devastation that laid in the wake from their parents casting them aside for something greater. Weird how fucking someone's brains out could turn into nights of cuddling and talking about shit that hurt you until you felt so raw inside that the only thing that could comfort you was that other person.

I wanted to stay wrapped up in my safe cocoon with her but we had to get down to business. Johnny's life could be in danger and I would be damned if I gave up too soon.

--

Johnny's POV

My body felt so cramped after spending all that time driving. I didn't really want to be home but I knew I had to continue my life here no matter how much I hated it. I opened the door to the apartment and dropped my duffel bag on to the floor, letting out a sigh of relief. I noticed there was a light on in my room and all kinds of shuffling sounds.

"Jae?" I called out. The noise stopped for a second and I took a tentative step closer to find out what was lurking behind my door. It swung back to reveal the person I had wanted to see most for the past week. They sprinted into my arms, making me stumble back. "Eri! Baby! You're-"

They parted from me for a second to land a few whacks to my chest. "Don't ever EVER scare us like that again!!!"

"Wait, what?"

"Johnny you gave us all heart attacks! Where the fuck were you?! I swear to God I'm going to kill you!!!"

"Eri, baby, what are you talking about?!"

"You didn't answer anyone's calls or texts! You got Jae damn near crying over not being able to find you! I come back tonight to him saying that you’re missing and the first thought I had was that…" They swallowed hard and I could feel the hurt in their voice. "That you were dead.”

Shit. I pulled them back into my arms and squeezed them like my life depended on it.

"Johnny, please I can't lose anyone else. I can't. I'm not strong enough for that."

"I'm here. I'm right here, Eri. I'm not going anywhere."

I felt like an irresponsible idiot. At the time escaping back to Chicago felt like it was the best thing to do. I needed to get away from the bullshit that was haunting me. It felt like this town was just suffocating me dry. I needed a break, something to clear my mind and get me back on track. My first thought, of course, was to go see my mom. The look of pure love in her eyes when she saw me made my fears melt away in an instant. I held onto her as tightly as I was holding onto Eri now. I had spent the last three days with her eating a ton of her home cooked food and watching my baby videos on our ancient VHS player. She wouldn't let me live down running around the house naked during a party when I was a toddler. I've never laughed so much in my life and it felt good to not feel like an empty void.

We had serious talks too. I asked her not to judge and spilled out almost everything I could about my hookups ("Do you use condoms?" Yes Mom, "Do you get tested?" YES MOM), totally avoiding how much weed I smoked, and poured my heart out over Eri. Everything from how I felt when I first saw them at the party, to when I decked Matt in the face for hurting them, to realizing that maybe it wasn't just sex anymore and it was something bigger, to knowing that after all this time I was in love with them but I was still scared. I didn't want to be like my dad, and I was still stuck on trauma (I disguised my assaults under "bad relationships" as I wasn't ready to dive that deep yet), and that there were parts of me that felt like I didn't deserve love.

She cried then, hating that her only child felt so bleak and meaningless as if it was her fault. It wasn't of course and it would never be. If anything she had saved me more than once in my lifetime and I was forever grateful. She told me that I needed to stop being so afraid of Eri and that I needed to just tell them how much I loved them and I honestly wished it was that simple. There was still too much holding me back and things I had to work through before I even considered being with them. I didn't want to be a drugged out mess or a mentally unstable shit for brains who dumped everything on their significant other. I at least knew I wanted to be a better person before I took that final step. It was just so fucking hard and there were times that I felt like I would never be good enough for Eri.

Now that I was back in Eri's arms I felt like I needed to be the strong one for them. They were disappearing before my eyes and I had to be their protector. I had worried them and everyone else after all and it was the least I could do.

"I thought you killed yourself." They sobbed. "We all thought the worst- the absolute fucking worst."

"Nooo, noooo. I wouldn't do that. I went back home. I needed to see my mom and get some time away from it all. Im sorry. I'm so sorry…" I didn't know what else to say. The guilt was setting in and I realized the consequences of my actions now. I didn't regret skipping out but I did regret worrying them. Especially after everything they had been through which by the looks of it had only gotten worse.

They cupped my face weakly. “I just don’t want to think of the bad things anymore, Johnny. It’s scaring me. My heart hurts so bad and everything is a mess in my brain. I don’t feel right.” They admitted.

I kissed them then, like they were the only thing I needed to breathe. I couldn't let them go now. I kept them plastered to me, forcing our breaths to disappear into one another. The moment we parted I looked down at them, pushing their hair back gently and seeing the remnants of stitches by their temple. My heart started beating faster. They never told me about this. I was scared that an argument with their mom turned to worse and they got hurt. I noticed the bandages on their hand too finally and jumped into a panic. "Eri, what hap-"

Suddenly they slumped in my arms, almost collapsing to the floor but I managed to catch them. "Jesus, fuck!" Now I really had no idea what was going on. They were breathing thankfully, almost steady but shallow breaths. I carried them to the couch, propping their head on a pillow before rushing over to my bag to turn on my phone. I called Jae immediately. My phone was slowing down because of all of the text messages and missed calls but it managed to start ringing.

"JOHNNY!! FUCK, HOLY FUCK, YOURE OK!!" He screamed instantly.

"Yeah! Yeah! I’m fine! Look, something happened to Eri. I’m at the apartment, can you bring Quinn asap?!"

"One, I'm going to kill you. Two, I need the both of you to stop being drama vortexes and sucking everyone into messes; like can y'all please chill for one day?? Three, we'll be there in five."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Please just come over!"

"We are. We're leaving right now….Johnny?"

"What?"

"I love you, bro."

I exhaled softly. "I love you too."

We hung up then and I sat on the floor beside the couch trying to see if I could wake Eri up. I tapped their face and shook them, fanned some air with my hand and even kissed them as if some Disney magic was going to take over. I was desperate at this point and had no idea what else I could do. I held onto their hand squeezing it tight and begging them to wake up soon. It wasn’t long before Jae and Quinn came into the apartment. He rushed over to me, practically slamming into me with a hug. He squeezed me tight and I held onto him, wanting him to know it was okay. “It’s cool, Jae. I’m here. I’m not leaving again.”

“Yeah you better fuckin’ not, douchebag.” He rubbed at his eyes and sniffled a bit. “I’m over trying to take care of you, you know?!”

“I know, it’s supposed to be the other way around but I’m pretty sure you like bossing your hyung around though.”

“I only do it because my hyung is a damn idiot!” He hugged me again which made me laugh.

“Stop being a baby. We’ve got bigger things to worry about now.” I smiled at him and ruffled his peachy hair. Suddenly, Quin shoved us both aside to get to Eri. Jae and I stumbled back and let Quinn hover over Eri. She was already starting to cry and fuss over them, about as clueless as I was as to what was going on.

“What the hell did you do, Johnny?!” She barked.

“Me?! I didn’t do anything! We were-uh- we were just talking and suddenly they collapsed!”

“Why didn’t you call an ambulance?!”

“They were breathing and I panicked and called you first! I think they passed out but i’m not sure!”

“You’re a complete fucking idiot! I swear to god. Go get me some water. Jae lift their legs up a bit." She turned to mumbling. "Have to do everything around here."

I sighed and went to the kitchen to comply with Quinn’s demands. Jae lifted Eri's legs, sitting on the arm rest and patiently waiting. "Do you still want me to call an ambulance?" I set the glass of water on the coffee table and stood on the opposite side of the couch.

Quinn sighed. "No, you were right, I think they just fainted. We could call the ambulance but I don't know how they hurt themselves. If it was self inflicted then they're going to put them on suicide watch or institutionalize them. After everything that's happened I doubt it would help. They're not fun."

"Do you think she would hurt herself like that?" Jae asked.

"They have, in the past. It's a possibility but I hope it's not true. They were worried about me committing suicide but now I guess the tables have turned." I said solemnly. I leaned over to kiss them again still hoping I could enact some princely magic.

Quinn stared at me for a moment. "Are you gonna finally tell them that you love them?"

"Uh, do you really think that now's the time to be asking that?"

She pursed her lips tight. "They just need somebody. I mean I'm here and will always be here for them but it's a lot for me to make sure they're okay all the time."

"I am gonna be there for them but it also doesn't mean that I'm suddenly in love with them. Friends help friends all the time. That's what you're doing now isn't it?" I said with a bit of bite. Now seemed like the absolute worst time to say it. I didn't want Eri to associate any feelings I had with sadness or depression. It wasn't really great to have the codependency going on. Just like I wanted to be in the right headspace before I jumped the gun, I wanted it to be the same for them. They needed to heal and recover- physically, mentally, emotionally. I just wanted things to be better.

"Whatever. Just man up and do it already."

"Quinn, don't blame Johnny for anything." Jae stepped in. "Nothing is any of our faults. People came into our lives and fucked things up and it's hard on us all. I know you're upset but we have to focus on taking care of Eri."

"Everyone has been hurting them. Every moment for them has been terrible this past week and I just want them to be ok!" Quinn covered her face, trying to block out a round of tears. "Eri, will you just wake up!"

As if on cue they stirred slightly, taking a few seconds to open their eyes and look around. All of our attention went to them as they tried to sit up. I grabbed onto their shoulders. "Hey, hey, hey, not so fast. Take it easy." I said softly.

"What happened?" They asked.

"We think you passed out. Here, drink some water." Quinn said as she grabbed the glass.

I helped prop Eri up and they reached out for the glass with a shaky hand. The water was gone in seconds and it looked a bit more hopeful to getting them on the mend. I stayed on the other armrest and slipped my arm to rest on the back of the couch. "What the hell happened down there?"

They sighed deeply as if opening the wounds again was going to deal more damage than necessary. "It was hell. We were preparing for his death but my family was also ignoring that he was going to die at the same time. It created this weird vibe in the house. I had to do everything while I was there. Cook, clean, go shopping, take care of my sister, go to the hospital. I didn't sleep. I barely ate. Barely kept up with myself. My mom and I were arguing all the time over any little thing. She told me I was treating this like a vacation when I said I wanted to go to the beach. I was being treated like a child. I'm fucking 21 for Christ's sake. Anyway, I snuck out to a bar with Dani and my cousin Mari and got mostly hammered. My mom found out, we had another argument and when I got home, I don't know. I blanked out and collapsed. I hit my head on the pavement, hence the-" They notioned at the bandage above their temple. "From the sound of it I think I had a giant panic attack that lasted hours. I remember bits and pieces. Mostly vomiting and crying. I guess with my disorientation I ended up hitting my hand on the sink cabinet or something, which is how my knuckles busted. Then the next day we got the call that he died. I didn't want to go to the funeral or be around my family anymore. I called Quinn and they got me a plane ticket and then first thing I hear when I get back is that Johnny's missing."

Quinn shot a glare at me and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. I was aware of what damaged I added and didn’t need to be reminded. “I’m just so sleepy and hungry and want to drink. Like, regular fluids not alcohol.”

“I can go get you food, I’m sure some fast food place is still open or I can go to the supermarket.” Quinn said.

Eri just nodded and yawned. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” They fell to the side, their head falling into Jae’s lap as he had slipped down onto the couch. Quinn and I stared at Jae and he immediately put his hands up to defend his innocence.

“Uh...I don’t know what to do.” He said.

“Just leave them there. They can sleep for a bit while Johnny and I get stuff. Just watch over them, ok?” Quinn commanded.

“Wait we’re going together?” I asked. I had never actually been alone with Quinn before and at this point I was afraid she was going to murder me.

“Yes, get your ass in gear. We’ve got shit to do.” She headed towards the front door and snapped at me to follow. I sighed and got up taking one last look at Jae and Eri. “Just...make sure nothing drastic happens again.”

He nodded. “Yes, yes, I heard Quinn the first time! I got this. I won’t let anything happen to your girlfriend.”

“She isnt my-”

“JOHNNY!”

“I’M COMING!” I yelled back to Quinn. I was reluctant to leave Eri but it had to be done. I hadn’t even had a chance to take off my coat so I sprinted after Quinn, closing the door shut behind me. “You know, I really didn’t mean to make them worry like that, or any one else for that matter.”

She whipped around and shoved her finger into my chest. “Well good fucking job, you did it anyway. You knew what they were going through and still decided to be a selfish prick!”

“Don’t you think I fucking feel guilty already?! Like sure, I didn't handle it as well as I should’ve and i should’ve at least told Jae but I didn’t want to speak to anyone. My literal abuser came back to make my life a living hell because, I don’t know, it’s her favorite fuckin’ game I guess. I couldn’t deal with it. I had to go home and just...center myself again.”

“I know what it’s like to have an abuser come back into you life. Trust me. But you can’t fucking block people out and then expect shit to be ok!”

“I know it’s not ok! All I do is block everyone out. That’s my thing! I already know it’s bad, what the fuck do you want me to do about it?!”

“UH, I DONT KNOW, HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING DO IT?”

“UH, I DON’T KNOW, WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?” I shouted back. “I know you’re pissed off because Eri’s hurt and I didn’t help it but yelling at me isnt going to fuckin’ magically fix everything that’s going on in my head and it’s not going to magically fix Eri wanting to die.”

“Don’t you think I know that?! You’re just- you’re so stupid! Sometimes I wish they never met you because all you do is play games with them and make them cry and you’re just shit all around!”

“I’m shit all around? As if you're so fucking perfect with Jae! There's been plenty of times that he's complained about you and you still do dumb shit to him!"

"We're not even dating! Besides, I always have to clean up your mess and pick up the pieces you leave behind."

"You don't know shit, Quinn. You don't know what we talk about or what we've done together. I care about them, more than anything."

"Then start fucking showing it, Johnny. Get your ass to the car. I'm done with you."

"You're just lashing out on me because you're scared and worried about them and I really don't need your bullshit."

"And I don't need yours. Glad we're on the same damn page." She stepped out of the building and into the parking lot, waiting for me to unlock my car. Both of us got in, slamming the doors and keeping an angered silence between us. This definitely was the last thing I needed. I was halfway tempted to leave her at the supermarket or wherever the fuck we we're going. She was lucky that I cared about Jae's feelings enough to be semi civil. I grabbed my carton of cigarettes from my coat pocket and lit one as I spurred on the engine. It was already becoming one hell of a long night.

--

Eri's POV

I woke up again though I wasn't really sure how long I had slept this time. I shifted and felt scratchy denim against my cheeks and wondered what I was laying on. I looked up and saw Jaehyun leaning back against the couch, messing around on his phone. I realized that I was laying on his lap and sat up quickly, a little too quickly as my head started spinning. “Whoa, you ok?” he asked.

I held onto my head as I tried to steady myself. “Yeah uh…why was I laying on you?”

“Dude, hell if I know. You just kinda passed out on me and I wasn’t allowed to move. That’s been your fave past time since you got back. Johnny and Quinn are getting you food and I’m babysitting.”

“Oh...great wonderful. This isn’t awkward at all.”

“I mean your head was legit on my dick. I’m not sure what you expected.”

“Don’t speak with me. I do not want to think about that.”

“Neither do I but here we are...also I think Quinn and Johnny are going to kill each other.”

“What? Fuck...i dont need them fighting. What happened?” I sighed deeply, knowing how protective and defensive Quinn could be over me.

"I think Quinn is blaming Johnny for making you worry more after everything that's happened to you."

"Jesus, it's fine. I mean I'm just happy that he wasn't hurt or lost. Honestly, it's the best news I've gotten all week. I know they don't exactly like each other but they don't need to blame Johnny for anything."

"That's what I tried to say but she's like a rabid mother bear about you. She wasn't really interested in hearing me out. I'm not saying what Johnny did was right but I can understand where he was coming from. Rixi fucked him up royally."

"Rixi? What happened with Rixi?"

"Oh right...she tried to trick Johnny into thinking she was pregnant to rope him into another relationship. It was a fucking mess and I had to threaten her just to have her leave him alone. He disappeared after that."

"Are you…" I didn't even know where to fucking begin. How could she even think that she would get away with that?! I balled my hands into fists not even giving into the pain in my knuckles. If I hadn't been gone I would've done much worse than whatever it was that Jae did. She wouldn't be alive. "No one is going to hurt him ever again. I fucking swear it."

"We feel the same about that then. I've never been so pissed off in my life. That's literally my family and you dont mess with my family. Trust me, I wanted to kill her too."

"It's just one thing after a fucking nother isn't it?" I scoffed as it was almost comical. "She's lucky I wasnt here."

He gently but awkwardly patted my shoulder. "I know. I'm kinda glad you weren't too...can't really bail someone out of jail for murder." He smiled at me and I realized why Quinn kept running back to him. Holy fuck, that smile was gorgeous. I felt my cheeks starting to warm up and I really didn't know why. Was it because he looked absolutely stunning or because I was embarrassed that I found my best friend's almost boyfriend attractive?

"U-uh...um...yes. Murder. I mean I would've murdered her. Not jail. No."

He looked at me a bit confused and even I had no idea what I was trying to say. "Anyway, uh…" he continued. "I'm sorry about your grandpa and all the other stuff you had to go through."

"Thanks, Jae. It means a lot. Seriously."

"You want like...a hug?"

"Slow your roll, homie. We're not there yet." I cringed away from him.

"Thank God. Ok. They should be back soon though. I'll text Quinn."

I nodded and stood up slowly. "Tell Johnny I'll be in his room. I don't think I can stay up for long periods of time."

Jae stood up along with me. "Can you walk by yourself yet?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry." I waved him off and shuffled to Johnny's room. It was still a mess from when I had been rifling through his drawers to try and find anything that might be a semblance of a suicide note. I ignored the mess completely and laid face down, getting caught up in the scent that lingered on his sheets. I pulled his comforter over me, settling into the warmth perfectly. I dug my phone out of the pocket of my hoodie and texted him.

Come back

I set my phone beside my head and closed my eyes, waiting for him to return. I didn't have to wait long because the next thing I heard was the door snapping shut. I peeked my head up from under the covers and looked at him. His arms were filled with fast food bags and a giant gallon of apple juice to which he dumped beside me. He chuckled off his coat and set himself in bed against the bedroom wall. "Can I kill your fucking best friend?"

I sighed and sat up. "Jae told me you two were fighting…"

"She fucking started it. I already feel like shit for making everyone worry but I had to shut myself off from the world, like it had to be done. I'm sorry it happened at such a shitty time in your life but bullshit happened in mine too. Like fuck! No offensive but my world doesn't revolve around you. I care about you, for real, but I'm trying to make myself a better person!"

I nudged the covers off as I scooted towards him to kiss him gently. "I don't blame you for anything Johnny. Don't you dare feel guilty over me. We're both going through shit. I'm happy you want to try and focus on yourself. Really happy and proud."

He sighed and set his hands on my waist, pulling me between his thighs. "It's fucked up, it's all fucked up." He whispered.

I nodded as I set my forehead against his, kissing him in an act of comfort. My hands trailed up his chest to rest on his shoulders and just as I was going to trace his bottom lip with my tongue he pulled away. "Eri." He said in his usual slightly dominant way. "Not now, you have to eat first. It's more important."

Not that I was making grand decisions in my current state of mind but a kiss or two or eight wouldn't have been so bad at this moment. I pouted as I sat back and set my legs over his thighs. He handed me one of the fast food bags which was filled with whatever he had ordered me. I hoped it wasn't something I hated, though if he went with Quinn I was sure they'd be able to tell him my usual. The scent of greasy fries and fried chicken hit my nostrils and I realized how starving I actually was. Because I had to do so much around my grandma's house I barely got to eat, even during the few days that she cooked. Her carribean food was the absolute best but I didn't have much of an appetite to keep it all down. Now that this junk was presented to me I shoveled it down in big bites. He watched me eat, his lips pressed together with a pensive look on his face. He seemed to have something on his mind and starting at me as I ate wasn't really easing my anxiety. "What?" I asked mid chew.

He opened his mouth, preparing himself to say what was on his mind, then closed it. I nudged at his side with my foot and told him just to get on with it. He took a deep breath before starting. "Quinn said we should take you to a hospital to get you checked out but was afraid that if doctors saw your injuries they might think it would've been self harm. I'm sure we could make up an excuse but she didn't want them to possibly institutionalize you."

I swallowed the food that remained in my mouth hard. "Abso fucking lutely not. I'm not going to any hospital and I'm for damn sure not getting turned in. Been there, done that, came out much worse. I'll stay here and work through whatever it is that's going on. I'll get better."

"Yeah but what if it doesn't get better and you have a serious illness?"

"Johnny, I'm not gonna die from not taking care of myself for a week. I just need rest. Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not being fucking dramatic. I'm just saying…" He rubbed at his temple, closing his eyes for a moment. "If it does get worse, please promise me you'll go to get checked out? Please?"

"Yeah," I said defeated. "But not now, ok? I can't be in a hospital and I don't want to see IVs or monitors or anything." He seemed understanding of my answer and leaned forward to gently wipe my cheek of tomato juices from the sandwich with the back of his thumb. The look in his eyes held sadness and protectiveness and I was sure that even if I tried to deny him he would still find a way to make me go, even if it was just to urgent care.

He placed a tender kiss on my forehead. "I know, babe. I know." I didn't want to talk about hospitals anymore so I turned back to eating, making him follow suit. He swallowed down a few fries of his own before cracking open the apple juice and taking a swig. He then handed it over to me. "I got you some Gatorade too but I figured this could help with your sugar." I took it graciously and gulped down half of the bottle as my throat still felt like a desert. "I'm thinking about staying home from work for the next couple of days to watch over you.” He continued.

I choked on the liquid mid swallow and almost spat it out. Take care of me? He wanted to stay at home to be with me all day? “Johnny, you don’t have to do that…” I said, still unbelieving to his offer. “I have Quinn and this isn't anything serious enough for you to monitor me 24/7. I’m not dying and i’m not gonna try anything, i swear.”

He took a bite from his burger, stalling his response a bit  “I still want to do it.” He swallowed. “It’s not a big deal. You can stay here.”

“Um...don’t you think that’s a little...personal?” God, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever wanted to do for me. He cared that much to stay home and take care of me, watch over me, and possibly smother me with forehead kisses. In reality, I wanted to accept the offer right away but I was still in defense mode given the constant replay in my head of him screaming that I would never be his girlfriend. Of course, it wouldn't be Johnny without those mixed signals of jealousy and possessiveness when I hung out with Josue at the quinceanera. If I did agree to stay with him it would get too intimate. Not exactly on a sexual level but on an emotional and mental one. That would be absolutely detrimental to my health and a definite hazard to dance around.

“Well, i mean...it would be the same as Quinn taking care of you because we’re friends, ya know?” He dipped his eyes down towards his sandwich as he didn't say more, or rather was holding back from saying anything else. My brain latched onto that word again. Friends. It was starting to become the most hated word in my vocabulary.

“Right.” I had to agree in order to not confess my feelings but my bad decisions were already getting the best of me. Through my already pain filled existence I craved to have my heart broken again. So I agreed to his offer. “I guess that would be fine. I’ll probably be asleep most of the time though so it’ll be pretty boring.”

“It’s alright. I need to get some sleep too. Haven't had much success lately. Night terrors are back again.”

I ached when he said that. With Rixi showing up again I was sure it had resurfaced some sort of PTSD reaction because of the damage she caused. Coupled with the absolute terror of being a potential father, I was sure his anxiety was making him roll down hill at the speed of light. I extended my pinky out to him. “I’m sorry…” I whispered. There wasn't much else to say at that point but I was sure he knew that I was 100% by his side. He linked his pinky within mine, squeezing a bit. I held up the gallon of juice between us. “Here’s to being fucked up.” I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

He ignored my quip and instead leaned forward, bypassing the gallon completely to crush his lips against mine. I almost got knocked backwards by his intensity that made my heart stop in its place. I secured the gallon inside the gap of my crossed legs and held onto his shoulder to try and steady us both. I hated how much I needed him but there was no way to even deny that fact any longer. He was a remedy I shouldn’t have ever relied on but his empathy and secretive caring nature generated value to the way he made me feel. It didn't matter how happy or sad he made me, my heart would still forever be the casualty. He parted from me then, for just a fraction of a second, his lips still hovering above mine. “Here’s to always being fucked up.”

--

It took a couple of days to feel like a functioning human instead of a hibernating zombie. I rebuilt my body's tolerance to fluids and electrolytes, getting them into my system as fast as possible. Eventually, I was able to regain a bit of energy and not spend so much time sleeping. I continued to devour every meal he brought to me as well. When I felt like I was able to move around without feeling dizzy or collapsing I would leave Johnny's room to join him in the shower or snuggle up on the couch and watch him play video games. Staying with him was even better than I thought it would be. I did get all the forehead kisses I craved but also all sorts of gentle kisses as well. He even liked to rest his head on mine as we cuddled. It was a paradise I didn't want to leave. I wanted to keep these precious moments in a delicate bubble, protecting it from being popped and exposing me to the harsh reality that we weren’t actually together. I shoved the negatives down as far back as my mind would allow and instead focused on the way he currently felt against my back. He was spooning me as we ended up napping in the middle of the day, a decision we shouldn't have given into but did so nonetheless. He was radiating his usual suffocating body heat with his face buried in the back of my neck. As i woke up fully I realized his hand was cupping my boob beneath one of his giant shirts I slept in.

I wacked at his hand trying to get him to release me, the sneaky little perverted shit. All he did was groan and hook his leg over my hips, partially rolling onto me. I grumbled as I was now smushed between him and the mattress, his hand still on my chest. "Johnny. Get up."

He remained still and heavy. I tried wriggling back against him, lifting my hips in an attempt to get his weight off me. He started to stir then but with a reaction I wasn't trying to receive. He started grinding into my ass, slowly but surely working himself up. I gasped in shock and vowed that when I scrambled from beneath him he was gonna get it. "Johnathan if you don't get off me right now I'm going to murder you."

I could feel his smile on my skin and I knew he was awake and just wanting to get a rise out of me. I puffed out a sigh and remained a pancake, ready to surrender. "You're going to smush the life out of me." I complained. As much as I loved how much bigger he was compared to me, breathing was pretty cool too.

He chuckled then, raspy, deep, and laced with hours of sleep. "I like crushing you and pissing you off."

My cheeks warmed at how utterly seductive the change in tone could make him sound. "Y-yeah well...you won't like it when I get back at you."

"What are you gonna do, suffocate me with your tits? Sit on my chest? By all means be my guest." He said slyly.

I wiggled my hips again. "Oooofffff. Please?" I begged

He responded with a grunt as his hand gripped my hip tightly. He steadied them and made sure I wasn't able to move. "Stop that."

"Then stop squishing me, you big werewolf! You're hot and making me sweaty."

He pulled away and rolled onto his back. “Fine, little brat.”

“Hmph, you started it.” I stretched myself out after having been cramped up against him for who knows how many hours. My back and shoulders popped and I sighed in relief before turning over to face him. I placed a kiss on the cheek and set my head on his shoulder. “We really weren’t supposed to fall asleep again.”

“Fuck it. We need it.”

“Do we? We slept like 12 hours the other day. Even though sleeping is my fave hobby we should probably like...breathe fresh air at some point.”

“No way.” He said, digging his fingers into my hair and scratching lightly against my scalp. “It’s warm in here and cold outside. I don't want to leave.”

I set my hand on his stomach rubbing the thin trail of hair there. “Ok, you drive a hard bargain.” I giggled and pulled myself even closer, this time planting a kiss on his lips. He smiled into the kiss while edging himself onto his side. His stomach pressed against mine and he rested his hand on my lower back. The kisses started out innocently enough; gentle pecks and the smallest of nibbles in between cute laughs and caresses. It wasn’t clear how the sweet tenderness turned into rushed clashes of tongues and teeth but neither of us were pulling away just yet. I felt his body digging into me as the hand on my back slipped lower to harshly grope at my ass. I whimpered against his tongue and tried pulling away to get some air between us but it was almost impossible to escape him. I clutched at his bicep, feeling the muscles flexing beneath my fingertips as he exerted his strength to keep me plastered to his frame.

Eventually, I managed to snap my head back, avoiding a bite to my lip. "J-Johnny," I swallowed harshly as I felt a prodding against my stomach. "You're poking me."

"I'm what?" He lurched his head forward, barely listening to what I was even saying. He was more focused on trying to resume our heavy make out session. I wedged my hand between us to keep him at bay.

"You're uh…poking me."

He stood quiet for a moment until it finally clicked in his head. He shoved himself away completely, leaving a drastic space between us. "Fuck…" He covered his face and groaned. "I'm sorry. You're not feeling good. I shouldn't have done that."

I sat up slowly and re-tied my hair into a chaotic semblance of a bun. " It's okay. I mean, I feel better now than I did when I first got back. I actually have energy. It just happened so fast. I was caught a little off guard."

"I'm super sorry, Eri."

I looked back at him."I guess you missed me that much, huh?" It was mostly a joke to lighten the air around us.

He removed his hands from his face. "It was the first time in almost two weeks that I had felt that again."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... I don't want to say just horny but like, more so comfortable in doing something halfway sexual. I haven't wanted to be touched in a minute." He sighed and propped his knees up, setting his arms on top of them. "We don't have to if you don't want to. Don't feel obligated to. I messed up and got carried away."

I shook my head. "I don't think you messed up at all. I know what you mean...it felt nice to feel that again too. Like that heat, that want, that drive towards something that makes you feel good and happy. The void feels a little smaller when I'm with you."

"Yeah," he chuckled lightly. "Something like that."

I nibbled my lip and looked over at him, tentative of my next move. His eyes caught mine and he leaned into me, accepting me into another kiss. It felt like we were virginal teenagers with how cautious we were being with our bodies now. Our rhythm slowed tremendously as his hands dove beneath his shirt I was wearing and worked upwards. I slid my arms out of it and let him toss it off the side of the bed. I pressed my chest to his, deepening the kiss as my fingers drifted towards the waistband of his sweatpants. I cupped him gently, stroking the outline of his cock through the fabric. The pain was still working through my knuckles but I ignored it, instead distracting myself with how he filled my palm. I circled my thumb over the fabric that covered his tip, pulling a damp stain to the surface. A small groan fell against my tongue and I felt him throb beneath my touch.

He exhaled my name making my thighs clench in anticipation. His hands roamed the expanse of my hips and stomach before easing up to my shoulders. He pushed me down gently and switched his attention to covering my neck with heated licks and fevered nibbles. My eyes drifted closed and my hand traveled to his hair, pushing it back gently as he worked over me. Kissing and rubbing every inch of my body seemed to be his newfound favorite activity and he spent a tremendous amount of time on my stomach and thighs. Having my stomach garner so much attention made me a little uneasy but he wasn't phased by it one bit, even when I tried squirming away. It made me shy to have him give notice to the area that provided me with the most confidence issues. I squeezed my eyes tighter as I tried to ignore my discomfort and focus on the way his thumb rubbed against the small dip of my hip bone.

Him knowing to tease that erogenous zone had my back arching against his frame. He shifted to rest his head between my thighs, wrapping his arms around them and working bites over that special spot. I tugged at his hair gently when the bites became too deep. He was almost breaking skin but sucked deeply to soothe the ache. My masochistic side jumped in excitement at the pain and encouraged it. It made the seat of my panties just a little wetter and my heat stir with desire. I pulled his hair harshly making him part from my hip. When I opened my eyes I saw him lick his gorgeous lips and dip his head towards my hand. His fingers were tattooing bruises into my inner thigh from how hard he was clinging to me and I noticed his hips bucking against the mattress. He was attempting to find solace in attentiveness I hadn't begun to give him just yet. He was placing me on a pedestal above him, wanting to bring me right to the edge before he even thought about entering me.

I pulled him down to my chest and licked from his collarbone, up his neck, over his chin, and finally to his lips. His mouth dropped open as he exhaled a soft breath and allowed my tongue to slide across his. I pulled it into my mouth, sucking it slowly and eagerly. He shifted to press himself between my thighs and moaned into my sinful action. He hovered above me with just enough space to have the damp fabrics between us meet. His hips stirred impatiently into me instead of the mattress now as his hands gripped at the bed sheets beneath me. I sucked on his tongue one last time before switching my tactic to tugging at his bottom lip with my teeth. He pushed himself particularly hard into my wetness as I bit down, making me gasp in surprise and call out his name. I splayed my hands across the center of his back, the small amount of nails that I had we're just enough to start splattering scratches into him.

He dipped his head by my ear and moved his left hand towards the beginnings of my panties. "Is this ok?" He whispered. I nodded quickly, the tense teasing between us almost becoming too much to bear. His middle finger nudged the center of my panties aside and made one smooth stroke from entrance to clit. "Why are you so wet?"

"Do I really have to explain that to you?" I huffed.

"No but...it's just...nevermind." His finger hooked around the panties and we shuffled through the awkwardness of getting them off while trying to remain entangled together. He managed to toss off the rest of his clothes as well, leaving us to see each other for the first time since I left. It had only been a week but it felt like months since we were connected. I smiled as I gazed down his toned torso to his hardness that sprouted from between those devilishly thick thighs. He fumbled with his hair, pushing it back then having it fall back into place. He was waiting for something and I wondered if perhaps he was suddenly having bad memories resurface. I sat up quickly, reaching out to him.

"You ok? Do you need a break?" I asked, concerned. He shook his head and took my hand in his, placing a kiss over my bruised knuckles.

"No, sorry I just blanked out for a second. I felt really nervous to be with you."

"Why? This isn't new for us."

"Yeah but...I don't know. Kinda feels different."

"Like…" I'm in love and if you touch me now I'll hate myself forever and my body will burn into nothingness? If you fuck me slowly and make me think about everything I crave about you I'll feel every part of my soul shatter and beg for more? If you even so much as utter my name with that voice thick with lust I won't stop cumming until you tell me too and I'd cry every step of the way? Yeah, it did feel different when you were in a one sided relationship. “What kind of different?”

He shrugged. “Just...different.” He kissed me, keeping me from prying any further. “Give me a sec, ok?”

I leaned back on my elbows and waited as he retreated to his dresser to get a condom. When we reunited he wrapped my legs around his waist and slipped his arm around my lower back, keeping my slightly lifted. Finally, after a long baited breath I felt him work his way through me, not stopping until he filled me completely. I pressed the back of my hand to my lips, trying not to cry out too loud. He uttered a whispered curse, keeping his body frozen in place as he adjusted to me instantly clamping down on him. It was like I was trying to pull him in deeper though there was no where else he could reach. His first thrust was slow and delicate, letting my mind sink into memories of all the times he'd left me unmeasurably satiated. My thighs crushed the sides of his torso as I tried to give him a signal to continue.

He took his time, brows furrowed in concentration and lips parted to release barely audibly moans and dirty whispers. The arm he had around my waist guided my hips upward, forcing them to roll in time with his movements. The slight angle he kept me at was enough to rattle my pleasure center and hit nerves that sent my brain into a jumbled mess. My hand moved from my lips and instead dragged his pillow to me so I could sink my teeth into it. My breath was just beginning to speed up and soon I felt ruthless bites all over my chest and shoulders. It was strange how he always wanted to mark me and let everyone know he had been with me yet he never claimed me. The brandings thrilled me anyway and I accepted them graciously.

One bite to the shoulder was the signal of his body waivering within his thrusts. He trembled through long pushes and pulls and the arm that supported him met the mattress. With him settling his weight onto me, my legs were pushed to the top of his ribcage where the head of his cock hit deep inside me, reminiscent to our heated fuck on the couch. I wanted that soft brutality again. He was rolling his hips now, his head dipping slightly. I could hear the beginnings of his hush grumbles but my heart slammed into the brakes when I processed what he was saying.

"I love-" he panted.

Oh god.

"I love-" a small grunt and a particularly pleasing pressure to a patch of nerves within me.

Oh god. Oh god.

"Fuck I love the way you feel…"

I almost let out a breath of relief. Of course he wouldn't say those three little words. Of course not, but I seriously needed him to shut up before I blurted it out myself and turned into an embarrassing puddle of pathetic emotions. I shoved him off me, our bodies barely separating as I moved to straddle him. "Just stay quiet." I cupped his jaw in my hand and gave him a flurry of soft pecks. "You know it's my favorite."

"Asshole." He scoffed and nudged his hips upward beneath me. I set my hands back to rest on his calves and let him take in the way he disappeared inside me. His controlling side got the better of him as I barely lasted one bounce before his hands grabbed at my ass, thumbs pressed into my hips, and him guiding me towards a more fluid motion. I could feel his almost predatory gaze boring into me; taking in the few droplets of sweat that made my edges damp, the stickiness of my cum spread between us both, and the way my chest jerked lewdly. His nails burrowed into my plush skin, carving marks that made me hiss.

He moved one hand between us to add pressure to my clit and yet it was almost like every bit of pleasure was ripped away from me.

How could you do this?

This soon? He's not even in the ground yet and you're fucking someone?

Have you literally no shame?

Don't you feel guilty?

I stopped my movements completely as the unforgiving voice hammered away at my brain. No, not now. Why would this happen now? Of all times?

Because you're an impatient slut.

All you did was think about him. You barely saw grandpa in the hospital.

I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the sight of him like that what was I supposed to do?

Then you run into his arms first thing. You're desperate for him. Too desperate and selfish.

"Eri?" My head snapped up and I realized Johnny was face to face with me. He had sat up, holding me in his lap, a look of concern on his face. "Did I hurt you? You're crying."

"I'm wha-?" I felt my cheeks and sure enough there were small streaks running down my face. Great, I fucked this entire thing up because of my overthinking and remaining guilt. Did I really have to feel guilty about having sex? It made my stomach hurt, like a weight settled in it and the acid couldn't dissolve it. "I don't...I'm sorry. I didn't even realize and-"

"What's going on?" He pushed a few stray hairs away from my face.

"I just suddenly...I lost it. I couldn't feel you anymore. It was just all suffocating guilt, like I shouldn't be having sex with you…"

"Why not? Do you not want to hook up anymore?" He said, rather sadly.

"No, I do but...I'm here, with you, and my grandpa's not even buried yet. Does it...make me a bad person?"

"Ah...um...no. I don't particularly think so. What else can you do about it? You don't have control over the universe or when people come and go. It's a natural part of life. And you've already been through so much. He would be happy that you at least took care of your family, even if your mom dogged you. You're not a bad person, Eri. You're literally the best. You make me laugh and scare the shit out of me all at once and we're super awkward together. It's okay to want to do something that makes you feel better. I'm not just saying that because I want to have sex with you. I mean it."

I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead as he held me. He rubbed my back gently and let me have my moment in trying to figure out exactly what the fuck was wrong with me and what I wanted. "I'm sorry I ruined sexy time."

"Sexy time has its ups and downs. I don't care. But um...I am gonna say that having a sad conversation with my dick inside you is a bit weird."

"I know. Jesus...it's just comforting, please ignore me. You can like get out. I'm weird. I'm so sorry. It doesn't feel sexual at this moment just intimate and I need to stop talking oh my god. Please stop me."

He chuckled and set me down beside him, pulling out gently. “It’s ok, don’t worry about it.” He adjusted his pillow and laid beside me. He pulled the covers over us again and extended his hand to lay between us. “I’ll be here if you need me, for whatever you wanna do.”

“I have no idea. I’m so tired of crying. Like physically and emotionally.” I reached for his hand and we linked our pinkies.

“Then maybe just chill for a bit. Take another depression nap.” He smiled at me and I knew he was joking.

“Maybe. You don’t have to stay in here with me.”

He shrugged. “I’ve been with you for the past like 3 days.”

“Aren’t you sick of me yet?”

“Oh, absolutely. I mean how dare you be my little spoon and make me feed you and let you sit with me while I play video games. You’re a monster.”

I couldn’t help but crack a smile of my own. "I'm definitely sick of you with your giant legs always landing on me when we sleep, and your werewolf heat, and the way your hair sticks up all cute when you wake up, and your stupid forehead kisses."

"Pfft, I'm perfect and you know it."

"Yeah, sure, definitely perfect." Definitely.

"But in all seriousness, don't let it get to you, ok? Don't guilt yourself or else you won't be able to grieve right."

I sighed, knowing that he was right but still hating myself for it. It was going to take me awhile to even begin to shake that feeling. I didn't want it to affect any of my relationships, not just with Johnny. It would be dangerous for me to become a recluse and wallow in the damage. I had to at least try and get over this hurdle. I squeezed my eyes shut and smushed my face into the pillow, low-key wanting to suffocate myself. I felt Johnny squeeze my pinky a bit before rolling onto his back and setting his free arm over his eyes. Why the hell was he so patient and understanding? You stupid fuck, couldn't you go back to bring an asshole? Well...it wouldn't particularly matter anyway. I still would run back to him.

--

I couldn't really pinpoint how long I slept again. I should stop falling into those naps and tried to be active but depression liked to firmly sink its teeth into my sleep schedule. I was frustrated at myself all over again and tossed the covers off me, sliding out of the bed. I looked back, remembering that Johnny had been beside me, but he wasn't in bed anymore. I pulled on my night shirt and shuffled out to the living room, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I saw him on the couch,viciously button smashing on the right trigger of his controller. I didn't even have a clue what time it was. I padded over to him and stood by the armrest of the couch.

"Hey."

The controller almost flew into the air as he jumped up. "Fuck! You little shit, don't scare me like that!"

I ignored him and crawled into his lap, resting my head back on his shoulder. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, resuming his rapid fire attacks. "Do you feel better or no?" He asked as he was calming down from my apparent jumpscare.

"I feel groggy and cramped up but I didn’t want to be in bed anymore. I'll just end up sleeping again and hating myself for it." I sighed.

"You wanna play after I'm done with this round?"

"Nah," I shook my head. "I don't think I have the mental capacity to."

"Aww but you love killing people and not healing me." He teased.

"Fuck you. I'm not healer. You can just grab the heal packs on your own. I'm tank. I'm always tank."

He laughed and kissed my cheek. "Whatever. I can still beat you."

"When we were on opposite teams I killed you six times...in a row."

"Listen, don't come for me, ok?"

"I’ll always come for you."

"Well," He smirked. "Sometimes you soak the sheets."

"Oh my god! Please stop bringing that up!" I wacked his chest playfully. "It was one time!"

"Two."

My face began to grow warm. "Johnathan, shut up."

"I think you were screaming ‘daddy’ at that point."

"If you don't shut it I'm gonna-"

"What? Beat my ass? Little Chihuahua. You won't do shit."

I pouted and snatched the controller from his hands. "Asshole. I'll show you how a professional does it."

"I thought you didn't have the mental capacity to do it." He mocked me, trying to make a high pitch voice.

"It's gonna shut you up to see how much better I am than you. Also, I don't sound like that."

"Mhm, you're such a whiny brat."

I gave him a death glare before turning my attention back to the game so I could ignore his jabs. I fired and dodged, landing attacks and ultimate shots and almost taking out the opposing team entirely. There were a few moments of standstill as they regrouped and charged towards my team again but I was ready at the front lines. I was leaning my body with each attack, bouncing a bit in excitement and wiggling my hips when I could tell I was close to winning. I always moved with the character as if somehow it would affect my gameplay in any way, shape, or form. "Eri...quit moving like that." Johnny grunted from behind me.

I shushed him. "I'm almost done hold on."

"Get off my lap then."

"Give me a sec!" I saw the word victory flash across my screen and I jumped up, sticking my tongue out at him. "You're lucky I saved you. You were dragging the entire team down and you can thank me for all the x.p you gained" He looked up at me, his hand covering the lower half of his face as if he was thinking about something. He eased a couch pillow over his lap and adjusted how he was sitting. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "You gonna play again?"

"Maybe. You were right, I like the shooty shooty death death." I pushed the pillow against his stomach and resumed my seat on his lap.

"Eri, no!" He protested.

"Shh, I'm about to start, the server just found a game. I gotta concentrate."

"Then don't move around so much."

"It helps me win! I swear it!"

He groaned and I settled myself against him, getting whisked to the character selection screen. I went back to concentrating, happy to have my mind clawing at something entertaining and time consuming. His hand laid on the armrest, drumming his fingers obnoxiously loud. I nudged his hand to try and get him to quit it as I landed a barrage of rockets on an enemy. "Stop that."

"Stop moving then."

"Are you really that annoyed with it?" I rolled my eyes. "Big baby."

"Yes, I'm very annoyed."

"It's just how I play, Johnny. It's no big deal."

"It is when you're on my lap."

"What difference does it make?! I-" I looked back at him. "Ooohhhh…."

"Yeah, oh! Off please!" He said, tapping at my thigh.

I stood up quickly. “Way to be a 12 year old boy.”

“Way to be irritating.” He kicked at my thigh playfully. “It’s not like im really turned on or anything just like...bodily reaction. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?”

“Eri, you cried in the middle of us fucking. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“It was just a weird moment...a one time thing.” I sighed and exited the game before sitting beside him. “It won't happen again.”

“How do you know that for sure? There's no way to tell. You don't have to push yourself to do things."

I wrapped my finger around the hem of my sleep shirt. “I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself. I want to do it. I just don’t want to be wrapped up in my feelings."

"Then take some time to clear your head."

"I know you're right about everything. I even thought over what you said about not feeling guilty. I know I don't have to and that I really shouldn't. It was probably just from all the stuff my mom said, like I didn’t care about anything that was going on. But I care so much, maybe too much. About everyone."

"Sounds like you put others before you."

I kept my head low and tightened my finger around the fabric. "Well…"

"You take care of Lucas, you take care of Quinn. You held your entire house down while your family was basically falling apart. You take care of your little sister and hell...you've kinda taken care of me. Stop it, Eri. You know that you deserve to be happy right?"

"That sounds strange coming from you." I scoffed. I want to be happy with you, idiot, but clearly your idea of happiness involves us being nothing more than fuckbuddies. I sighed. No, he wasn't my only source of happiness. I had to remember that. I felt some semblance of the emotion when I was with my friends, when I was onstage, when I worked hard on my journalism. It was difficult to fully grasp the feeling but I knew what parts of it felt like. I needed to remember what it was like to smile and laugh. What made those reactions anyway? It felt like such a foreign concept now but I needed to force myself to remember. I wasn't ready to lay in a pool of my own blood again.

"Look, I can only be there for you as a friend but friends want each other to be happy. I don't really like seeing you miserable. When you were playing just now, I saw a bit of the old you come back. I just want to see you smile again." He set his hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. "Know what I mean?"

"Yeah...what makes you happy then, friend?"

He seemed taken aback by my question. "Oh...hmm…" He set his elbow on the armrest and propped his chin in his palm. "Photography, I guess. Music...having time to myself. Waking up next to someone I love- I mean in the future! That specific part would be in the future! Like when I'm 30 or some shit…"

"Being in love is weird. I hate it." I said flatly.

"Tell me about it."

We both looked at each other momentarily then dodged our eyes so they wouldn't meet. We didn't say anything for awhile and the load screen music of the game was starting to make me feel like I was suffocating. "Johnny…" I swallowed hard. My heart thundered like a war drum. "I have to tell you something."

"O-oh? What's that?"

"Thanks for...looking out for me and taking care of me."

He burst into laughter that sounded like it was laced with unease and nervousness. "Oh, that's all?!" He shoved at my shoulder almost knocking me on my side. "Dumbass, I thought it was something important!"

"It is important to me, jerk." I rubbed my shoulder and grumbled. "I'm trying to be extra gay and tell you how I feel so it's not in my brain and I don't fucking cry anymore."

"Shit...sorry. It's just...not something I'm used to, even with all our talks. I know you thanked me for decking Matt in the face-"

"Defending me and protecting me from them ganging up on us." I reminded him.

"Ah...yeah, that. But um...I don't feel like I need to be thanked for it. It's just what people should do."

I got up and stood in front of him. "Just accept my thank you and shut up." I flicked his forehead hard and watched as he recoiled instantly.

"Ow!! You're so violent I swear!"

"You're just a baby." I kissed the red spot on his forehead and then gave him one on his cheek. I was planning on pulling away but he gripped my hand tightly, keeping me close.

"I am not. You're just a jerk." He smiled and pressed our lips together rather lightly. "A cute jerk."

"Well that's true at least." We both laughed and kept our smiles. "How's that boner treating you?" I teased.

He grabbed the pillow from his lap and hit it against my stomach. "Will you shut up!?"

"That's what you get for calling me splash mountain!" I hit him back with the pillow and he tried to work around my barrage of attacks to get a hold of my waist. He tried to pull me down onto the couch but I caught myself on the back of it, my chest landing against his face. "Good job, idiot! I almost kneed you."

"I'm ok with this though." He said, muffled.

I rolled my eyes and pulled away before I suffocated him. "I don't even know why I hang out with you."

He set his hands on my upper thigh, trailing upwards. "Because you- you're not wearing panties?" He said suddenly.

I looked down at the now pushed up shirt and shrugged. "No. I just rolled out of bed and put this on." I put my legs on the outside of his and sat down on his lap. "Perv. Are you turned on now or is it still just "bodily reaction?"

He reclined back and ruffled his hair away from his face. "You haven't done anything to turn me on. You think you wearing my shirt with no panties and bouncing around is sexy? Please." He said sarcastically and smirked.

"Nooo of course not. Why would that ever be considered sexy?" I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning in closer to him.

"Eri…" He hesitated for a moment and licked his lips, preparing himself for what he was going to say.

I knew he was going to say that he was worried about me but that's not what I wanted to hear at this moment. I'm sure our minds were on two different paths. Mine was focused on justifying our unfinished fuck though he could care less and he was focused on making sure that I was ok, a commendable and cherishable act yet my currently depressive thoughts weren't something I wished to focus on. "I'm fine, I swear." I covered his neck in rushed kisses to entice him into joining me. He grabbed onto the back on my neck and forced me away from him making me pout and simultaneously wiggle my hips against his lap. His stern voice was coming next, I could already tell. "Please?" I begged softly before he could even say anything. "We both know we'd rather do this then focus on our problems."

"Yeah but...we should stop that…"

"You first." I challenged. "If you don't want to do it then fine. I can get going. I've been here long enough anyway "

"Don't be like that. I don't need to pick you over fucking."

"I'm not saying you have to Johnny and I'm not saying it's the only reason I would stay here. I'm happy being in your arms and I have been for the past couple of days. I've loved everything you've done for me but you know this is how we feel good."

He sighed and squeezed me tight. "Why are you so damn irritating, babe?"

"You haven't gotten rid of me in almost four months, it's your own damn fault."

He chuckled as he placed his lips against my neck, sinking a bite in slowly. My fingers curled into his shoulder as I exhaled a whimper. He pulled away when he was satisfied with his mark he kissed it gently before trailing a tantalizing lick up my neck. "We should head back to my room."

"What for?" I turned towards him, capturing him in a flurry of bites and hungry kisses. My hands we already crawling towards his sweatpants, sliding them down his hips bones and waiting for him to break free.

"Didn't we learn our lesson last time? I don't need Jae bursting through the door and seeing you again."

"Hasn't he been staying at my place? We're fine. I don't care anyway. Come here." I finally freed him and lifted my hips, guiding him back to my entrance.

"Slut."

"Jackass." I sunk down onto him slowly making him moan instantly. He tried groping at my hips again but I grabbed his wrists and kept them by his side. "I have to thank you properly. So sit back and don't touch."

"Don't t-touch?" His brows furrowed deeply when I let my hips rise and fall on him, making sure every last inch disappeared inside me.

"Mhm," I groaned and let my eyes slip closed. "Let me do this. I'll let you control me later I promise."

A little growl surfaced which made me wiggle my hips eagerly. He was struggling with keeping up with my request even though he was trying. His arms flexed with tension as I kept him pinned. He could easily overpower me and toss me down to do whatever he pleased but he let me have my fun for now. I was too wrapped up in rolling my hips and letting the slight curve of his cock ride against my walls and send me into a fit of soft pants and moans. His thighs clenched beneath me and he used them to force me forward. I braced my chest against his as he pressed through the tightness and slammed into the deepest part of me. I rushed out a curse and dug my knees into the couch harder, feeling the fabric scratch against my skin.

"Take off my shirt, princess. Let me see you."

I shook my head quickly. "You're not getting away with-ah-ahh!" He shoved me forward again, testing my limits and bringing me closer to cumming way before I even wanted to.

"What was that?" I wanted to smack the smugness out of his voice but I myself was silenced by more bites flourishing against the weakest parts of my neck. My hold on his wrists was starting to falter and I prayed for my mind to lift itself from the lust fueled haze it was under to keep my strength up. But it was no use, his hands switched to grab my wrists and pulled my arms behind my back, using all the leverage he could to slam into me with frenzied thrusts. I pressed my lips together and nudged my forehead against his shoulder, silently begging for him to keep this heavy pace. His deep voice teased at my ear, murmuring my name and singing praises to how good I felt. For once he wasn't being cheesy or vulgar and every one of his sugary sweet words made my body flush.

I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck to keep myself from whining pathetically. Every once in awhile, as I rolled my hips with his thrusts, his girth would manage to brush against my clit and sends waves of gluttonous indulgence throughout my body. I caved in and moaned his name, straining through pleads of him to make me cum. "Maybe I'll make you work a little harder for it since you wanted to try and pin me down."

I shook my head vigorously. "N-no! Just let me-" He released my arms and threw me down onto the couch. The wind was almost knocked out of me and I struggled to paw at his hands that were grabbing at the sleep shirt and yanking it from my body. Once I was completely bare, he shoved his sweats down his thighs, not even really bothering to kick them off all the way. He was much more eager to toss my leg over his shoulder and rush back inside me, swift and deliciously rough. He was dangerous when he was like this, simultaneously punishing me for not giving myself a break or listening to him but also falling into our horrid pattern of fucking each other senseless when we were at our wits end. I was falling in deeper into an abyss that only he could take me to before I was swallowed up and couldn't find where he started and I ended.

He kept my legs firmly in place not allowing me to squirm or escape the overwhelming thrusts that drove me to insanity. I reached above my head to hold onto the armrest as my back bowed towards him. His hand switched from my thigh to grip around my neck. "We were around here last time, weren't we? Before I fucked you from behind and we were interrupted?" He smirked and licked his lips. "You came so hard, didn't you?"

"S-shut it!" I gasped and clutched at his wrist. My little wisecrack only got my windpipe constricted further. My eyes rolled back and I could feel the lightheadedness already starting to settle. My body clenched tight, my chest struggled to expand and my hold on him dissipated. The only thing I could feel was the sudden burst of ecstasy that always came when I was teetering on the verge of lifelessness. My wetness pooled around him, sliding down to meet the couch cushions beneath me. I tapped out then and his fingers unfurled from my neck. I was a trembling mess all over again and wanted to curl up. He let my leg fall from him and I pulled them both towards my chest. I gripped the edge of the couch as I waited to come down from my high but my peacefulness ended quickly.

Johnny spread my cheeks open, allowing him to see every bit of me. His hips snapped against my ass drawing harsh throbs from his cock and wavering mumbles from his lips. I could hardly stand the way he forced himself through every bit of my sensitive and sore body but I craved for him to feel just as good as I did. He leaned over me, delving his tongue into my mouth and sucking on mine greedily. I cupped his face in my hands, our moans overlapping as his thrusts morphed into sloppy chaos. His tough demeanor melted into his soft and sweet nature, blushing hard and keeping his eyes squeezed shut when he asked me where he should cum. I let him have his way with wherever he wanted, feeling the thick heated ropes fall into my lower lips, thighs, and ass. I sighed softly and listened to him catch his breath. He plopped down on the couch and relaxed while I remained still for fear of staining the cushions.

"Hey, shithead," I exhaled. "Gonna clean this up?"

He let out an exaggerated groan. "Do I have to?"

I sat up a bit and shot him a glare. "Johnathan."

He huffed and grabbed his shirt off the floor, wiping me down lazily. I rolled my eyes and smacked his hands away, opting to do it myself. "Big baby. I'm gonna shower, are you coming?"

"Yeah I will." He yawned. We both stood up though my legs were much more shakier than his. He pulled up his sweats from around his thighs and set his arm around my waist, guiding me towards his room. Suddenly, we heard the front door unlock, signaling Jae's return. We made a mad dash for Johnny's room and slammed the door behind us with just fractions of a second to spare. Both of us fell into a fit of laughter as we hoped Jae hadn't seen us. We weren’t in the mood to get griped at for fucking on the couch again.

"Quinn says you have to go home, Eri!" Jae said as he passed by the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh…great."

"What is she your mother now?" Johnny scoffed.

"They're right. I need to get back to class and work tomorrow. I'm having my mom send the papers from the hospital and funeral to me so I can get excused and hopefully won't lose anything." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. "Will you drive me back since Quinn took my car home?"

"Of course. But first, shower."

--

I sighed as I stood in front of my therapist's office. I was grateful that she was able to get me in on such short notice but definitely not ready to spill out everything that had happened to me all over again. I knocked and she beckoned me in, greeting me with a smile when I tiptoed through. She had already gotten my file up and was clacking away at her computer as I sat across from her on the couch. I waited for her to finish, awkwardly staring at my boots and pulling off my heavy coat. I heard my phone ping and ignored it but it happened again and again and again. "Sorry," I said. "I'm just gonna check this real quick."

"Take your time, I'm just updating some stuff..no biggie."

I nodded and pulled up my messages not ready for the sudden round of next level bullshit that was thrown my way. Taeyong had sent me screenshots of some sort of group chat he was in. In between slutty emojis and jokes where pictures of me, naked, getting fucked, tied up, gagged, stuffed, anything, you name it. Yuta and Ten were the main culprits behind it but there were one or two that were posted by Lucas. The worst part was that I didn't remember taking any of these. I never sent any nudes that were longer than a few seconds on Snapchat, trying to keep my record as clean as possible. These seemed to be forced onto me without my consent and the way they were sharing them so carefree had me sick to my stomach. These three were supposed to be my friends, Lucas one of my best mates. Yet here they were thinking it was okay to spread this without my permission. My mouth dried completely and I had no idea how to even begin to respond. He sent me another screen shot of a message that was beneath the photos. It was from Johnny and read "How many more do you have?"

My heart dropped to the ground. He was interested in these? In seeing me like this without my permission? Another text from Taeyong.

Sorry you had to find out this way but I figured you should know. It was fucked up so I asked them to stop but then Johnny said that and well…

I don't know how much more they have. Do you want me to ask? Or do you want to handle it yourself?

I can help though. I don't want this shit getting out more.

I dropped my phone onto the couch and covered my face, ready to absolutely lose it.

"Eri, are you ok? What's going on?"

I pushed my hair back as the tears started. They felt hot, almost burning with every emotion I could manage to feel at once. "I'm ready to just kill myself."

#Johnny Fanfic #johnny #johnny suh #JOHNNY SMUT #johnny seo #NCT #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #NCT 127 #messy

[calibreofscratch]

Update: Home is Where We Are

So, I finally finished the final for my J-Term class, and I wanted to brainstorm and outline for one of my fics. HiWWA won out lol, and I’ve got some ideas that I’m liking. Thing is, I don’t really know much about anything, apparently, so I’m going to be researching some stuff for a bit and making my outline more detailed in certain places. If you’re curious, the new ideas I’d like to implement are (and yes, they’re all about Shinsou and Iida lol):

Though they are highly recommended, mental health checks for Pros aren’t mandatory. Aizawa only started when he got custody of Eri. Shinsou and Tenya later meet at one of these checks when they go with Aizawa and Tensei, respectively.

Shinsou was in foster care and was passed around a lot, meaning that his education wasn’t a steady flow like other students’. Because of this, Midnight takes it upon herself to give Shinsou a sex ed crash course (and Mirio a recap). Shinsou already knows the basics but decides to be a little shit for a hot sec. He pretends to not know guys can’t get pregnant and tells Mirio that Amajiki better not come around with a round belly anytime soon. Mirio says that they’re not like that, but Shinsou says that Amajiki better not give Mirio a round belly either.

Iida really likes dinosaurs. When Shinsou was invited to his birthday party, excluding Iida’s family, Shinsou was the only one to not give him something robot-related.

Because Iida has a summer birthday, not a lot of kids his age go to his parties because they’re off vacationing or focusing on their clubs. Shinsou always makes sure to be at Iida’s parties.

Shinsou punches someone at Somei for telling Iida to stop mansplaining when he was info-dumping about something he loved.

During summer vacations, Shinsou makes sure to have a jug of orange juice in the fridge for when Iida comes over to hang out.

Shinsou joins the middle school cycling club after he was late to school one time.

During the time they’re cramming at home for the UA entrance exam, Shinsou and Iida study together!

#home is where we are #story update