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#so I can be friends with the Jason Todds of the world.
brown-little-robin · 2 years
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speaking of fictional characters who have committed atrocities—
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vonehrenfest · 8 months
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DCxDP: Dead guys stick together
(A Batman 138 fix-it)
After Bizarro becomes King of Hell he watches the mortal world and is distraught to find that his brother/best friend/sorta father-figure has been hurt very badly and is calling out for help.
Distraught, he goes to another lord of the netherworld who he's heard has access to a portal (and subjects a bit more compatible with the act of helping someone). He asks King Phantom would he please please help him protect his brother/friend, and if he does Bizarro will owe him a favor and leave his realm alone.
When the inferno had initially breached the Ghost Zone Danny had thought he was going to have to deal with f*cking Trigon again, but as it turns out that guy's been replaced and the new guy is pretty nice. After a brief cosmic battle and a clearing of misunderstandings, Danny agrees to Bizarro’s request.
While Gotham's vigilante civil war continues on its rooftops, Jason is in a cell. He is trembling, practically catatonic again, and losing his mind. He’s seeing the flaming figure of a knight on horseback appear from the shadowy far wall of his room, like some kind of fairytale nightmare version of Batman. It takes a while for Jason to realize he’s talking. 
“... part of the treaty between the King of Ghosts and King of Demons, Jason Todd: Prince of Demons has been granted special status and is henceforth a protected and honorary citizen of the Infinite Realms.” 
Nightmare-Bruce touches his flaming sword on Jason’s shoulder and the unearthly fire instantly engulfs him. Relief washes through Jason, and it’s so strong he nearly drops asleep.
Bruce is apologetic when everything’s over and he realizes the mistakes he’s made... but nothing really changes. (It is a relief to Bruce that no one died or was permanently injured, Jason's condition resolved itself somehow, and Bruce is normal now so really everything is fixed or at least it will be fixed.)
Just like when Jason first came back from the dead, Bruce's response makes him hurt deeper than the physical torture itself. Jason is the one who died but Bruce acts like the ghost. Singleminded, possessive, stuck in time and blind to it; bound to repeat the same cycles again and again. Jason is the ghost but he's died multiple times now, and maybe that's kind of like living and maybe that means he can move on. 
Dani and Bizarro become friends, and she gets Danny's friend Tucker to somehow set up a working Wi-Fi connection in hell so they can all play games together. (He’s not going to question it. Everything about Amity Park is abnormal. They helped him and they’re good to Bizarro, that’s all that matters.) 
Jason forges a fake identity for Dani. He might ask Babs to make a better one for her if she ever needs it but he doubts that's likely. He hasn’t had a living identity for years now after all, he’s an old hand at fake identities. Dani is delighted and starts attending school soon after. 
Danny has good friends, and as far as Jason can tell plenty of reliable mentors in the ghost world. You wouldn’t think it, but Jason’s less worried about Danny in his role as a little godling than in his civilian life. He’s got too much on his plate- too much power yet not enough to actually resolve his real issues. Not enough to protect himself where he’s vulnerable. 
The “Guys in White” that Danny likes to complain about are concerning. So is the fact that Danny’s lives with mad-scientist parents who are trying to hunt down his alternate identity. So is his ever grinding cold-war with the mayor of his town… And something else too that had been niggling at the back of Jason’s mind ever since he’d first gotten to talk to these kids. 
One day Danny’s sister, Jazz asks to talk to him. He’s an adult she says. That’s true he replies. He’s capable of protecting himself and other people, she says. Well, he has the training and experience for it, he agrees. If things go wrong, would Jason let Danny or Dani stay with him- just until she becomes a legal adult? She asks. Jason’s... not the sort of person who should be taking kids in. Danny saved his life though. He won’t say no. He says of course.
Jason knew it. Everything about Amity Park is abnormal.
The town doesn’t technically exist- there are no maps that include it and even satellite imaging is corrupted where Danny describes his hometown is supposed to be. There are no references to it on the internet that couldn’t be referring to a totally different Amity Park elsewhere, and judging by the problems they occasionally had on gaming nights and the odd offhand remarks Danny and his friends sometimes made, it was looking extremely likely that all communications between Amity Park and the outside were being heavily censored. Before Jason knew it he had started a full-on investigation on the GIW, Mayor Vlad Masters, former Mayor Montez, and Axion Labs.
Hope and fear lodges itself in Danny’s chest. Jason’s an adult and he’s actually going to help.
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scarletspectral · 2 years
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I just think danny has the sense of humour that you tend to get in the face of traumatic events and he usually doesnt have the right crowd to appreciate it. I remember (little bit personal here but dw bout it) when I was dealing with a lot of death related trauma I would constantly make jokes that I found HILARIOUS but would make other people panic and try to comfort me which was very confusing as a reaction, until I found a friend who had gone through simular things and suddenly we were going "eyyyy" at each other's jokes and making pins that said "I'm bi and I saw someone die" as like a fun little club thing.
Now listen. The SECOND danny finds someone like that, someone like jason in all honestly, i just KNOW hes out here making stupid in-jokes and pins and shirts that he finds knee slapping levels of funny, you just know he made jason a shirt to match his own that says "I died as a child and all i got was this lousy t-shirt" and the rest of the birds are staring with fear at jason's reaction before he just ruffles danny's hair and calls him a hilarious little shit or something.
Trauma bonding!!
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roseworth · 2 years
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Thinking about Jason lives au with his own team. That lil guy deserve his own team. Also Stephanie as the third Robin. I want to know how their dynamic as predecessor and successor look like. I feel Jason would give her the Robin mantle until Stephanie think that's not who she is and then she'd give it to Damian when he arrive.
Jason inviting Stephanie to his team and Stephanie meeting Kara. They all could've been best friends
YES fuck youre so right do you want to get married
hhhgmgnmnhfhmhhhhmhg 15 year old jason meeting steph and instantly going "this is my new sister and if anything bad happens to her i will kill everyone in this room then myself"
then a couple years later he wants to take up a mantle away from batman and do something on his own. and the second the thought enters his head steph is grabbing the robin costume and running <3
and then later bruce "dies" and cass has her mini breakdown and gives up batgirl and steph says ":( well. damian wants robin and someones gotta be batgirl" so she takes it and gives robin to damian 😌 peaceful transition of robin
but also fhdjfaksfhajs jason inviting steph to his team is the worst mistake of his life because they all like her more than him :) stephs not a permanent member but she does get invited along when she wants to and they are so excited to have her
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orionremastered · 4 months
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By any chance would you consider writing fwb with feelings headcanons for the boys 👀
Any chance? Any CHANCE?
Masterlist
Not Just Friends
Dick Grayson
His favourite thing in the entire world is to snuggle with you while watching movies together
He was so happy when you proposed the idea of friends with benefits but 'no feelings attached'
He wasn't happy with the last part though
Sometimes without warning he'll hold your jaw in his hand and run his thumb over your bottom lip
He realised he had feelings when you said you were talking to someone and planning to go on a date with them
Little did he know you had feelings for him too and you didn't want to go on the date with a stranger but with him. you cancelled the date thirty minutes before, unable to feel guilty
You ran to his door and confessed to him when he opened it and he probably fell in love with you then and there.
Jason Todd
Jason was the one to propose the friends with benefits agreement
and it bit him in the ass
He started getting feelings for you when you held him after he had a bad nightmare
subconsciously rubs your inner thigh whenever you're wearing shorts
The times you've let slip that some guy has been bothering you, you tell him 'it's fine, they won't do anything'
he beats them up anyway (as Red Hood, of course)
You told him you were going on a date with someone and he was dead silent
You came back to him after the date crying, telling him that the man was trying to kidnap you, probably for human trafficking
He held you in his arms all night while you cried and at one point he thinks he heard you say 'I just want to be with you'
He thinks he was hallucinating
Beats up the guy and goes after the human trafficking ring with the entire batfam. No dear, don't ask why he came home at four in the morning and of course the blood he's covered with isn't his love
Tim Drake
You were the one to propose the friends with benefits thing
At first Tim was on board but then he started (day)dreaming about your smile, the smoothness of your skin and the way your eyes sparkled when you looked at him
Coincidentally, that was also around the time where he started buying literally everything for you
Stole your card and gave you his because he kept finding out you were using it to pay for things, even just groceries
You protested at first but he told you that he was just looking out for you. it's really nothing out of his earnings anyway
Eventually he started getting impatient and bought you a ring, asking you to be his girlfriend
His smile when you said yes made your heart flutter just a little but you're too embarrassed to tell him that.
Damian Wayne
Like Jason, he was the one to ask for the arrangement after he caught himself staring. often. like, too often for it to be just a friendship
Even with all of his training, he failed to realise you were staring too (he's a little thick with relationship stuff. maybe you can help him with that)
Stands behind you like a silent shadow and is, in all honesty, terrifying for many (many) people to approach
Damian, like Tim, will try to take as much financial burdens out of your life that he can
He likes holding your hand in public, and other people pointing out how beautiful of a couple you two are is just an added bonus
You moved in with him because 'it's easier and safer to just live with him' and you agreed
At some point the two of you started to do couple things like washing each other's hair, attending galas together and things like that
You just straight up asked him if the two of you were dating now and he was like 'yes. there a problem?'
There wasn't
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jasntodds · 19 days
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Scars [J.T.]
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
Summary: Jason lets you trace over his y scar
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, scars, mentions of death, bruises, cuts, general minor injuries, hurt/comfort
Words: 1,765
A/n: I just wanted something a little soft for once. If you wanna be tagged in my fics, you can click the link below, send me an ask/comment, or follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!
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Jason carries the weight of every horrible, traumatic, and agonizing event that’s ever happened to him across his body, etched in pale and raised lines across him like a used roadmap. He wears them as cruel reminders that this life is unfair and unjust, even when he tries his hardest to make it so. There are some he pays no mind to, and doesn’t even really notice most days because they are there. That’s that. But, there are others…there are others he looks at as a punishment for everything he’s ever done and everything he never was and could never be. They’re reminders, laughing back at him every day, a sinister echo of his mistakes.
Most days, he tries to pay them no mind, either.
You’re sitting on your knees right beside Jason, his side pressed against the bare skin of your calf. Your eyes are trained on his exposed abdomen, showcasing the scars and cuts and bruises he’s collected over the last few years.
It wasn’t that seeing his body covered in new and old injuries was jarring. That was mostly fine. After the first few weeks of being friends, it stopped being jarring because that's just how it is with Jason. He gets hurt sometimes. It comes with the job and you accept that part of him. The bruises and cuts were very rarely ever jarring. The other scars were never really jarring because of course he has them. That always made sense to you. It's the autopsy scar that is jarring.
With the others, he'd told you it comes with the job and then he'd watch your face contort into a scrunch of worry and paranoia over his well-being, something he doesn't think he deserves most days. When the comment didn't ease your worry, he'd kiss you and give his signature cocky grin, a silent promise that he's fine and the conversation would end. The autopsy scar conversation is never so simple.
You knew he died because he told you not long before you made things official. You knew the story about the Joker and his mom. He told you of the horrid night and bits of pieces of the after. But this is your first time seeing the physical damage of the night that still wakes him up in the middle of the night. Your chest aches for him and it's jarring because he did die and he has to carry that kind of weight forever, something you'll swear until the day you die he doesn't deserve.
With delicate fingers, you trace over the long line of the autopsy scar, Jason’s eyes glancing from your hand to your face. His stomach tenses with the movement and you can’t tell if it’s because your hands are cold, it tickles, or he’s uncomfortable. If you know Jason, you’re kind of figuring it’s the third option. So, you glance back to him, chewing the inside of your cheek.
“This okay?” You ask softly.
“It’s fine.” Jason answers, his thumb lightly brushing over your thigh furthest away from him. “Bother you?”
Jason has been cautious not to show you because he knows how he feels about it. He knows that you worry. Seeing some sort of proof of death seems like it might send you spiraling into some sort of tornado of worry until you spin too far away from him. He's been cautious because he adores you and he doesn't want to lose you and he doesn't want it scare you.
You look back to the scar, tracing over it again. “No.” You answer quietly. It hurts your chest because it happened to him. It happened to him and nothing in this world could ever justify the torture and pain he's been through. It doesn't bother you because it is a part of him and you adore him with every beat your heart drums. “Bothers you though.”
Jason’s brows pull together. “How’d you figure?” There’s the slightest bit of a bite in his words like a scared puppy, a default reaction to being seen.
“Why wouldn’t it?” The question leaves your lips freely with unfiltered candor.
Seeing it for the first time, yeah it bothered him. It bothered him because what was the point? It wasn’t some mystery how he died. Maybe it was just legal reasons bullshit that Jason doesn’t care about. Though, he does fully understand that maybe if he hadn’t come back, he wouldn’t care. Or if it had healed, he wouldn’t care. So, that’s something he can’t really blame Bruce for. Instead, it’s that it’s there. Looking back at him in the mirror. Staring up at him when he looks down. It’s always there. It’s as if he was cut open and the weight of death and punishment and regret scattered over his organs and bones, making sure he understands the weight of his own consequences. He just can’t quite shake it and the scar is the reminder.
"I guess." Jason lets out this shaky breath as his stomach tenses below your fingertips.
"It's okay if it bothers you, Jay." You assure him. "I'd bother me if I were you but..." You pause for just a second, pressing an open palm over some of the raised edges of the scar as your eyes are locked on his. "I hope it doesn't bother you too much because you got to live and I don't care what the other bats thought about it at first because I'm glad you got to come back. And you deserve to let the weight off your shoulders for once." Your eyes go back to the scar and trace up the line from the center of his stomach up to the right side of his chest.
Jason's thumb is rubbing lightly against your skin and he wonders why you make it seem so simple. No part of him thinks you believe it's simple but there's something in the way that you say it that almost gives Jason some sort of faith in the idea of it. That maybe there is a day where it won't feel like he's carrying the weight of the world. Maybe there is a day someday where he won't feel the aching and longing of his bones. You offer him tenderness and kindness when the majority of his life has been nothing but skinned knees and broken hearts.
That feels terrifying, too but...maybe he's tired of running away from things because they're good for him. And good to him.
Seeing the autopsy scar for the first time bothered him. Seeing it yesterday bothered him. But, at this exact point in time with your fingers running along the tattered edges, it doesn’t bother him so much.
“Thank you.” Jason holds his words steady with a sort of caution at the edges. "It's not bothering me now." His voice is quiet as his eyes glance to you and then back to your fingers on his skin.
He is entirely exposed to you now. There’s no going back even if that is absolutely terrifying. Jason keeps himself guarded to protect himself and protect everyone else around him. But, you make letting the guard down a little bit easier. You’re tender and delicate with him, two things no one ever is. At no point have you ever thought less of him for the things he’s done and things he’s seen, or the things that rip his body to shreds. You take him as he is and offer him understanding and kindness, two things Jason has been desperate to get from anyone. And he is so thankful for you.
“Good.” Your voice is quiet before your stare goes back to the scar. “I hope it never bothers you again.”
Jason sits up, closing some of the distance between you while you rest your hands in your lap. His eyes run over your face slowly while the corner of his mouth is pinched barely upwards. He looks content. He looks comfortable. His heart is beating a mile a minute as it’s about to run through his ribs. There’s something fluttering against it, something that feels warm and welcoming in the beating of his heart. There’s something that makes his breathing unsteady without ever sucking the air from his lungs. There is something that feels comfortable and like a home he didn’t think he’d ever find.
Jason leans forward, resting his forehead against yours and your entire body relaxes in that instant. He pulls away, pressing a kiss to your nose and then to your cheek before he rests his head in the crook of your neck. You turn your head and press a kiss to his temple before your hands come to his cheeks to pick his head up.
His eyes lock on your eyes and you adore him. You adore him for all that he is today. The scars never really bothered you because they hold him together. All of them have a story that has led Jason Todd to who he is today. They are proof that he is alive. They are proof that even when he was hurt, even when he was murdered, he is alive. The air can be pulled into his lungs and oxygen will circulate through his cells again. He is alive. The autopsy scar is just further proof to you because he shouldn’t have been brought back but he was. And that was for a reason. That scar is just another piece of proof he is meant to be here. It is another mark of how he got here today and you, for one, are eternally thankful that he is here today.
Your thumbs are running over his cheeks and Jason swears he has never felt so wanted by anyone. And he doesn’t feel so damn alone in the world anymore. He feels important and he only hopes he makes you feel the same way. He can only hope you understand how much you mean to him and that he is just as important to you.
Your lips come to his and he melts into your touch as he kisses you back. His hand comes up to the back of your head to pull you in closer. And he thinks he might do everything in his power to have more moments like these with you. You can trace his scars and he can tell you about them and you can exist in the bubble where it is only the two of you. You can trace his scars and he can run his fingers along your thigh and you both can feel wanted and important. And loved.
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Tag List: @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @achromaticerebus // @lovefks // @kolpvii
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months
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i've mentioned in a few past posts about an au where Danny is a variant of Jason Todd. I haven't made a post about it yet because I need a good rhythm flowing however i've been listening to Gladiator by Jann and I have been having thoughts.
but first, let me set the au:
Danny Fenton is Jason Todd, or at least, a variant of him. A him from a universe separate to the major Batman timeline - but still Jason Todd, down to the structure of his face and his name itself. The only thing that changes, is who picks him up - and, that he follows old Batman canon, and was an orphan. Jason Todd steals the tires off the batmobile and wallops Batman with his tirejack, and then runs off. Shortly after, he gets picked up by the Fentons.
(Customary line break,,,, word count check: 5k)
And his name changes from Jason Todd to Danny Fenton. He doesn't care much for the new name change, it stems from his mute refusal to share his name to the people that picked him up; an attempt to make him untraceable should he get away from them, and to keep something of his to himself. So they name him something new. He grows to like it enough as he acclimates to his new family.
(He hangs onto the name Jason Todd like a secret - he may be 'Danny Fenton' now, but he'll never forget his time on Gotham's streets. He'll always be Jason Todd.)
(Jazz is the only one who he tells his name to in the family - she affectionately calls him Jay whenever she wants.)
He becomes friends with Sam and Tucker and deals with Dash and his bullying. And when Danny steps in during a fight between Dash and another student, Dash gives him a bleeding nose and mockingly says, "Do you think you're Robin just because you're from Gotham, Fenton?"
Jason looks him in the eyes and he bares his teeth, "Why not?" he asks, spitting blood, "being Robin gives me magic."
The nickname sticks. It's supposed to be an insult; Daniel Fenton is not Robin, he'll never be Robin. Not now, not in a million years. Jason Todd has always wanted to be Robin, so he takes the insult and wears it proudly. He buys a school varsity jacket and painstakingly undos the stitching of all the school's motif on it. On the breast of it, he embroiders in a black circle with the Boy Wonder "R" on it instead. It's not good stitching, but the next day Danny wears it down to breakfast and into school.
In normal au canon, Daniel Jason Todd-Fenton (its a mouthful, just call him Danny) only meets the Waynes after he becomes Phantom - an event that leans more towards Daniel Fenton's accident than Jason Todd's death, but traumatizes him all the same. (Is it too much to want to be mourned? His best friends like to deny that he died - and Danny - Jason? - wishes they wouldn't, even if he did come back.)
(The accident embitters him, even more when his parents don't seem to pick up on it. He stops calling himself Danny Fenton - he's always been Jason Todd. It shows itself in his ghostly form. He doesn't want to wear the thing he died in, not in something that belongs to the Fentons, and his suit reflects that.)
In this timeline, Daniel Jason Todd-Fenton, aged 13, meets Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne after a mishap with magic on the other end of the reality sends the three of them careening through time and space, and spat back out on the other end, in a world not their own. And together.
Danny is paired with a very confused Bruce Wayne and Richard Grayson. Luckily, there's a few heroes there to help them. Danny can hardly comprehend the idea that he's in another universe - he doesn't know why Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne are seemingly handling it well.
On their way to a secondary base with the heroes, Danny turns to Bruce Wayne and asks, "So, is it part of rich-person training that you're just totally chill with being sent into another universe, or are you just weird?"
Bruce Wayne huffs at him, rather than get offended, and he smiles that dumb lopsided billionaire smile that Danny's seen on every vogue magazine he's been in. "I'm not so worried with these skilled heroes here to help us get home."
Danny silently concludes that he's just weird. At least Dick Grayson is biting back a smile behind him. "Riiiight..." He says, dragging the vowel out dryly.
When they get to that secondary location -- a safehouse that one of the heroes had set up -- the three of them are sat in a living room-like room while one hero, Zatanna, goes and calls someone from the Justice League. The other two heroes stay with the three of them.
Within a few hours, Danny is face to face with Batman - someone who he hasn't seen since he whacked him in the stomach with a tire iron - and Nightwing. For a moment, Danny swears that the both of them look almost spooked by him.
Batman stares at him for a moment when he enters, and then he goes to speak with Bruce Wayne. Danny doesn't care enough to hear what they're talking about, he pulls out his phone as Nightwing goes to speak with Dick Grayson.
"Are you a fan of Robin, little man?" Someone says, and when Danny looks up he locks eyes with Dick Grayson -- who is leaning around Nightwing to talk to him, the both of them are smiling. And considering who Nightwing was, Danny finds himself turning pink to the ears.
But he will not hide his jacket. He forces a grin through his embarrassment, "Hell yeah, man, Robin's cool." He says, and pushes his arms down to pull out the hem of his letterman, showing off the emblem. "I made it m'self out of a school varsity after the A-Listers started callin' me Robin."
"A-Listers?"
"Popular kids," Danny corrects, loosing his hold on the hem and brushing invisible wrinkles out of the embroidery. "They didn't like that I kept stepping in when they were bullying. Dash asked me if i thought I was Robin because I was from Gotham."
Dick Grayson looks intrigued -- and concerned, and he leans forward onto his knees and raises an eyebrow. "What did you say?"
And Danny grins a shark-like thing, straightening back his shoulders with a burning sort of smug pride and all the sharpness of broken glass left in Crime Alley. "I told him being Robin gave me magic, and then I punched him."
Dick Grayson's smile widens, splitting into showing teeth as he leans back into his seat. Danny isn't sure why he's so delighted - but Nightwing looks incredibly amused, and he suddenly remembers that the Robin himself was there in front of him.
Danny's face burns anew and his arms fold themselves in front of him once again.
"I don't think I ever caught your name, Robin." Dick Grayson goes, his voice thick with laughter, and Nightwing steps off to the side as Batman and Bruce Wayne walk over to join them both. They're just close enough that Danny can see Bruce Wayne raise an eyebrow at them both.
"It's Jason." Danny says before he can think about it, and barely stops himself from frowning at himself for the slip. He amends himself, glancing over at Batman and Bruce as they get closer. "But everyone calls me Danny."
Dick Grayson's head recoils slightly, and he looks a little surprised. "Why Danny?" He asks.
"Why Dick?" He shoots back, and Bruce and Dick both smile at him, with Dick Grayson shrugging with an expression that looks like 'you've got a point.'
In the end, the three of them - yes, three - get sent to this world's Wayne Manor, and Danny is bewildered by that decision to include himself -- he's not a Wayne. Why not just send him to the Fentons?
Batman tells him that the Fentons don't exist in this world, and Danny falls silent. "Oh." He says quietly, a pit growing in his stomach with an ill-kind of dread. He can't keep Batman's gaze, looking away with unease.
No Fentons in this world. No Fentons. Where was he then, in the grand scheme of things? Where was he in this world? What happened to Jason Todd? Was he even alive? He can't keep the worry off his face, and he jumps when a hand lands on his shoulder. When he looks up, Dick Grayson squeezes him gently.
Dick Grayson is steadily beginning to remind him of his sister.
-
They end up driving back in the Batmobile. It's such a shock to Danny that he momentarily forgets the lack of Fentons. He makes a laugh sound, actually, and immediately he covers his hand with his mouth and stares at the car -- tank? with his teeth sunk into his lower lip.
"Jason?" Dick says, and hearing his name being spoken feels like someone touched him with a livewire. It's weird, it's foreign - he hates, in some way, that it's foreign - and it's so nice. Yes, that's me.
He drops his hand immediately. "Sorry." He says, realizing he'd stopped in his tracks, "I -uh, was just surprised."
"It's not every day someone sees the Batmobile." Dick agrees. Nightwing has his back to them but Danny swears he sees his shoulders shaking a little.
"Yeah," Danny nods slowly, dragging his eyes over the batmobile as Batman opens the driver's side and gets in. He thinks for a moment, of what he should say next - whether to admit that he's seen it before, or to pretend that he's seeing it for the first time. Snd as Nightwing opens the door for him, Bruce, and Dick, he chooses the funnier option; "The last time I saw it, I was stealing its tires."
To his surprise and unsurprise, Danny only gets two pairs of eyes on him. Nightwing gets into the passenger seat as both Bruce and Dick turn their gaze onto him; Dick's eyes big like they were going to bulge out of his head.
"You what!?"
So Danny tells an amazed Dick Grayson that he hit Batman with a tire iron after he stole his tires - something he is very proud about and also incredibly embarrassed about when he retells what happened in the backseat of the batmobile, with Batman and Nightwing listening in from the front seat.
(Bruce Wayne doesn't ever tell Dick shit, he's going to lord this over Bruce's head the moment they are alone.)
"Please tell me this didn't happen in this world." Danny groans behind his palms as he sinks into his seat. Dick Grayson is killing himself laughing on his left, and he saw Bruce Wayne stifling a smile before he obscured his vision with his hands.
Much to his luck, its Batman himself who speaks next, (Danny was being mostly rhetorical). "It did." He says, and his voice sounds like the rumble of the earth before a stampede. It will never not throw Danny off every time he hears it. "It takes quite a lot of spunk to steal the tires off the batmobile."
He can't believe it. Batman is making fun of him. Fucking, Batman.
He wants to die with embarrassment. He groans even louder as Dick Grayson's laughter crescendoes. Danny risks a peak through his fingers, he doesn't know whether to regret it or not because he can just barely see Batman smirk very faintly from his position in the middle.
(His world axis tilts five degree leftways seeing it; like someone dunked a bucket of ice water on him.)
"He ended up being adopted by the Bruce Wayne of this world."
Danny's hands drop with his jaw into his lap. Dick Grayson on his left chokes on his laughter and careens into a coughing fit. Bruce Wayne on his right chokes on air, and quickly recovers himself with a cough behind a closed fist.
"What?" Danny croaks.
-
Apparently, Bruce Wayne's family is much larger in this world than it is in his. Danny can barely wrap his head around the idea that he ends up adopted by the man, but now he has to learn that Wayne had several children in this world?
He's still not wrapped his head around it when the three of them wind up at Wayne Manor, finally, or even when he's standing in front of him himself. For his effort, Bruce Wayne does a good job at looking unruffled by it.
God, he's weird. Danny's starting to quite like it, actually. How human of him.
He still can't wrap his head around it when he meets the rest of Bruce Wayne's children, all of whom are already aware of the three of them. Danny thinks that someone from the Justice League might've alerted them before they got here.
It makes sense, he supposes.
It helps that they are just as weirded out as he is. A boy named Tim Drake sees him for the first time and blurts out; "Oh wow, you're tiny." In a tone like he's just seen a two-headed snake burst out of the ground.
Danny is still offended. He's still growing. It's not his fault he spent twelve years of his life malnourished. "I'm gonna be taller than you," he tells him seriously, "and when I do I'm gonna kick your ass."
Tim snorts at him.
The other Bruce Wayne -- Mr. Wayne's -- youngest looks at him up and down with a face of carefully controlled judgement. His name is Damian, he's Bruce Wayne's only biological son. Danny can't believe that there's only one.
If anything, Bruce Wayne himself looks surprised too.
"Todd, yes?" Damian says, his green eyes narrowed at him.
Danny feels like the specimen under his parents' microscope, he feels like he's standing on a platform that's being slowly spun by scientists. He looks over at Bruce Wayne in confusion, and then back at Damian. "I- yes?"
Damian Wayne nods, and then leaves.
Danny does not once see himself. That is unsettling in and of itself - surely Jason Todd would have been told about another version of himself in this world, wouldn't he? How old is he here? An adult, probably. Danny doesn't know if he wants to see him. What does he look like when he's grown up? He pulls his Robin jacket around him a little tighter, like a cocoon, like a shield.
"It's weird to hear them call me Jason Todd." He says aloud to himself, and it leaves a weight behind in his chest that shouldn't hurt the way it does. It shouldn't be weird to be called your name. It shouldn't cobweb up your throat to hear your name being said. It was his name. It was his.
-
Danny acclimates to the manor slowly. The house is big, massive. He's never been in a house so large before, he feels like a stray cat being taken in for the first time, again. He and Bruce and Dick Grayson are all given their own separate rooms - one of many inside this mansion - and the sheer size of his bedroom is bigger than his living room and kitchen combined.
it's daunting. Danny sits outside on the balcony and stares at the stars he can see - Wayne Manor is far enough away from Gotham that its light pollution doesn't obscure the sky here like it did in the heart of it.
Danny finds the constellations he can find and wishes he had his books with him. He finds the library the next day and buries himself in the back, curling up into a comfy armchair next and inhaling each book he can get his hands on.
Tim Drake wanders past him at some point, Danny would have missed him if it weren't for the fact that Drake stared at him strangely when he saw him. He walks away when he realizes Danny was staring back.
It's a rinse and repeat for the next few days. Danny doesn't go to meals, he sneaks food from the kitchen afterwards, and then buries himself in hundreds of books in the library.
Dick Grayson, the one from his world, goes and finds him three days later. Danny's eyes hurt with strain by then, but he is furiously halfway through a Jane Austen novel when Dick sits down across from him.
"Have you been here all day?" Dick asks, he drapes himself across the side of his chair, contorting himself into a position that Danny doesn't think is comfortable when he looks up at him.
Not that he looks up at him long - he hums absently and goes back to reading. Frowning when he realizes he lost his place on the page.
Dick Grayson raises an eyebrow, "Have you at least eaten anything?"
Danny hums. No, he hasn't, and he hadn't thought about eating all day. Until now that is, his frown ever deepening as his stomach pangs with a deep hunger.
"That's not healthy."
"Mhm."
"Are you going to eat something?"
"Mhhh."
And this gets Dick to frown. He straightens himself up, propping onto his elbows to stare at Danny. "Jason." He says strongly. And it's that that gets Danny to finally look up from his page, jumping like he'd again been poked with a live wire as he stares at Dick with wide eyes.
"Yes?"
"Put the book down." Dick orders, gesturing towards the side table next to Danny with a nod. "And come eat something." There's very little room for argument in his voice, he sounds like Jazz when she's trying to parent him, but instead he actually sounds authoritative. Not bossy.
Danny still frowns at him. "You're not the boss of me." He says, sinking back into his chair with a thumb bookmarking his page.
Dick gives him a look and makes a decisive noise, swaggling his head side to side while he does. "I'm pretty sure that for as long as we're here, me and B actually are the boss of you."
He's never really liked authority figures, not ones that tried to boss him around, that is. Danny doubles down, his lips curling into a shadow of a scowl. "Just because you're my brother in another world doesn't mean you can act like it."
"That's not what I mean and you know it."
"I don't want to go eat."
"It's not good for you to skip meals."
"Quit talking like Jazz."
"Danny."
Danny sinks his teeth into his lip and scowls darkly at him, shrinking into the back of his armchair in hopes that it'll swallow him whole. The idea of going into that large fucking dining room fills him with a dread that makes him completely forget his appetite.
"Your fucking- dining room is- it's too big." He grits out, finally closing his book and hugging it tightly to his chest.
Dick blinks at him. "What?"
"You heard me! It's too big. This whole place is too big. It's- what do you even do with this much space? I don't know how this- other me ever lived here."
Dick Grayson surprises him, and his expression softens. "Oh," he says, "I get it."
"You do?" The tension bleeds slowly out of Danny's shoulders
"Yeah, I felt the same way when I first moved in with Bruce. I lived with the circus for most of my life, but I slept in a trailer." He says. And he talks more.
The end result of their conversation ends with Dick Grayson offering to let Danny sit across or next to him during mealtimes, and that he can talk to him if he starts getting uneasy. But he can't keep skipping meals - it was making them all worried.
Danny agrees, and Dick takes him down to the kitchens for food.
"They look at me weirdly too." He grumbles as they leave the library, Danny's book returned to the shelf where it belonged. When Dick looks at him curiously, he scrunches his nose up. "The - your other siblings. They look at me like I'm- I'm someone else. S'weird."
"Isn't that a good thing?" Dick asks, "You are someone else."
Dany shrugs, staring at the ground with a heavy frown. "I don't know."
-
Danny seeks out Dick more after that. And vice versa. Dick reminds Danny of Jazz, and he latches onto the familiarity like a leech. If Dick is bothered by it, he doesn't show it, whether he's talking to his other world's self, to the Bruce's, or to one of the other Wayne kids.
Damian Wayne seems particularly keen to seek him out, Danny finds. He thinks it means that they're close in this world, and that Damian wants to see more of what a young Dick is like. That's what he would do, at least.
He takes up on Dick's offer of seating near him during dinner, and finds an open spot across from him. Unless he has something to show him, then he sits next to him.
("You can call me Jason." He tells him one day when they're in the Wayne's massive, fuck-off gym and they're both climbing over the jungle gym. Dick's showing him how to be more flexible. It's the most Danny's worked out ever, he likes the burn it gives him.
Dick looks at him in surprise, "Really?" he's doing a handstand on the bars and Danny's more than a little jealous at his balance.
"Yeah, dipshit," he says, rolling his eyes, "I'll even let you call me Jay, it's my nickname."
Dick happily takes him up on that offer, and much to Danny's embarrassment, starts calling him Jaybird. All because of his stupid Robin jacket.)
Danny has yet to meet his other self still, it's scaring him a little. Where was he? And matter of fact, how long until he could go back to his home dimension? The three of them hadn't gotten any updates since they arrived.
Speaking of, he was starting to talk to Bruce more, it was just... strange. Even stranger than talking to Dick. Bruce Wayne in another life would have been his adoptive father, Danny can't wrap his head around it for the life of him.
Whatever did Bruce Wayne see in Jason Todd that made him worth adopting? He's too afraid of the answer to ask. They start talking more after they run into each other late at night. Danny had been hit with a bout of insomnia and was going to the library.
He ran into Bruce on the way. He was just.. staring, out the window, with a faraway look in his eye. He didn't even look startled to see Danny standing there.
Danny asks him if he wants to go to the library with him. It was out of panic. He isn't expecting Bruce Wayne to agree, and they walk there in suffocating silence. Danny keeps looking at him from the corner of his eye.
("You're staring?" Bruce doesn't sound upset, Danny jumps anyway.
"Yeah, sorry." his voice sounds stilted, "it's just..." his jaw wires itself shut for a spell, "...you looked like you were about to disappear."
"Ah.")
When they reach the library, Danny leads Bruce Wayne into the science section and takes out books upon books about stars. He leads him over to the armchair and fire and they both sit down on the ground.
"When I lived in Gotham I would stargaze." Danny says, it's the first thing he can think of. Bruce Wayne looks at him quizzically. "Well, I would try to. The sky's too polluted for that. Mostly I would just watch the skyline and try and spot Batman and Robin, was the same thing."
That cracks a smile out of Bruce. It's a small one, barely there. "I hardly think the two are comparable."
Danny is still serious. "Not to me."
He goes on, talking about how after he was adopted he got his hands on every star book he could find. He loves english and he loves to read, but something about the stars drew him in like a song. He rambles about every star fact he knows with Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne surprises him by telling him facts he didn't know. Danny soaks it up like a sponge, listening intently to him speak. And when they run out of star books to talk about, Danny tells Bruce that it was his turn to find something for them to talk about.
Bruce Wayne smiles again at him, a sly little thing like Danny's challenged him, and gets up. He comes back with a stack of film books, and they spend the next few hours going through them. Bruce Wayne rattles off every single movie fun fact he knows, and there is so much that he knows.
Danny is in awe, and moves to press against Bruce's side to see the stuff he points at in his books.
"You're smarter than people give you credit for." He says at some point, when his eyes hurt from being open for too long and his head leans against Bruce's arm for support. It follows with a jaw-cracking yawn that he tries and fails to stifle.
"Thank you, Danny." Bruce says, his voice soft and soothing and not helping with Danny's weighing exhaustion. His eyes drift, and then jerk open. "Do you want to go back to your room? You look tired, chum."
He bites back a smile at the nickname, and fails to keep it bitten. "No, no, I'm awake." He mumbles, shaking his head slowly. "I wanna hear-" he yawns again, "-hear you talking."
Danny swears he can hear the smile in Bruce's voice as he speaks; "Alright. Now, where was I?"
In the end, Danny falls asleep on the floor of the library next to Bruce Wayne. He doesn't even realize it until he wakes up the next morning. But it's not to worry, Bruce Wayne fell asleep too, an arm thrown around Danny protectively like he was his own kid.
This becomes a thing for them soon enough. When neither of them can sleep, they go to the library and talk and talk about whatever comes to mind.
There comes the dreaded night after they've finished whatever book they were looking at when Bruce, the little shit, turns to Danny and goes; "You never mentioned what happened after you hit Batman with a tire iron."
Danny groans, big and dramatic, burying his head in his arms, and ignores the low chuckle. "I thought he was gonna chase me down for sure." He complains, his voice muffled by his arms.
"Why did you hit him with a tire iron?"
The look Bruce gets is one of pure disbelief. "If Mothman suddenly showed up behind you while you were taking the wheels off his ride, you'd hit him too!"
"Last time I checked, Mothman isn't real." Bruce told him amusedly, and Danny flops over onto his back to stare him down. His arms sprawl out like a starfish, intentionally hitting Bruce in the shoulder.
"You don't know that, Batman's a cryptid and he's real."
Bruce roars with laughter, and Danny preens like a bird.
That next morning when Bruce passes by him for breakfast, he reaches over and ruffles his hair. It's the same thing he does for Dick every morning. It's the first of many, and it gets many stares from the surrounding family.
Bruce has a newspaper tucked under his arm, and when he sits down Danny stands up and skedaddles over to him, leaning over the side of his chair to peer at the paper.
"Any cryptids spotted, Buzz?" He asks, getting a startled laugh out of Bruce, who looks up at him.
"Buzz?"
"Well, yeah," and Danny states it as matter-of-fact. He gestures his head at Dick Grayson. "Dick calls you 'B', and B is for bees, and I can't just call you Bees, that's dumb. So; Buzz."
He grins triumphantly when Bruce laughs quietly, his shoulders shaking imperceptibly. "I know," he tilts his head up proudly, "I'm a genius."
Now he's actually laughing, dropping his head into one of his hands and trying to quiet himself as much as possible. Danny is positively beaming, ignoring the stares of the other Waynes as he flounces back to his seat just as the other Mister Wayne enters the room.
-
When Jason Daniel Fenton Todd meets Jason Todd for the first time, they both just stare at each other.
Danny recognizes himself immediately in the library, and he freezes up. His tongue ties to the roof of his mouth, and he's unsure of what to say.
He doesn't need to say anything at all, because when Jason Todd looks up and they lock eyes, they both just stare. And stare. Jason Todd is a large, hulk of a man, built like a brick shithouse, with a tired, traumatized look in his eyes and a white streak in his black curls. The same black curls that Danny himself has.
He has no idea what to say. Or if he should turn back around and leave.
Jason Todd sighs at him, "I know they told me you and another world's Bruce and Dickie were here," he says, but it sounds like he's talking to himself. Even moreso when he mutters half-heartedly, "-but I was hoping I wouldn't run into you."
Danny feels small next to him. He doesn't know why. "Sorry." He says lamely, his one foot skips back, "I can leave if you want." It's unlike him to be meek, he thinks. Not after years of Gotham living and dealing with the likes of Dash and his Jerk Jocks.
But this also isn't the streets, and this isn't other kids being dicks. Jason Todd shakes his head, and gestures with one large arm for Danny to come over. "You don't need to do that, you were coming to read, right?"
He nods, and tentatively makes his way over. When Jason looks at him, he sees him cast his eyes over his Robin jacket - he wears it everyday. Danny sees him narrow his eyes, just slightly. But he says nothing.
It's... a strange conversation. Interaction. Jason Todd doesn't talk to him much, and if he does it's stilted and awkward, like he doesn't know how to treat him. Like he's holding him at arm's length.
Jason's getting tired of being treated like a ghost.
They talk about their books. They compare lives. Jason Todd was picked up a few days after he stole the wheels of the batmobile. He wasn't an orphan, he lived with his mom and his stepdad before he lived with Bruce. They both like to read, only Danny has an interest in the stars.
("What do your adoptive parents do?" Jason Todd asks him, one arm slung over the back of the armchair, he looks relaxed. He looks tense. Danny feels like he's back in Crime Alley again.
"They're 'ectologists'." He says, making air quotes over the word. He rolls his eyes, "Ghost hunters. They study the dead and all things afterlife."
Jason Todd makes a dry laugh huff, a sarcastic half-smile on his face. He doesn't explain why he does, Danny doesn't ask why. It doesn't seem like his business.)
Danny wants to ask him where he got that white streak in his hair. It doesn't feel right. It feels like his parents' lab, and that isn't right. Nothing ever feels like his parents' lab.
Jason Todd leaves first after giving him a few book recommendations. Danny isn't sure how to rate the experience. Being in Jason Todd's presence was like standing in a liminal space. An empty parking lot at night. When he leaves it feels like much the same thing.
He struggles to read his books afterwards, unable to shake the feeling of being haunted.
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rhiaemrys · 7 months
Text
All of those Batfamily de-aged fics, but like, they’re all in their "Trouble-Maker Era". This is primarily to create as much chaos as physically possible, and potentially cause Batman a stress aneurysm.
Like, Dick Grayson, going from a relatively well adjusted (for a vigilante which isn’t saying much) to a tiny crazed 8 year old Robin who is ready to Fight God or die trying. He keeps perching on chandeliers, throwing stuff at people and hitting Damian over the head every time Damian mentions hes Robin.
Jason Todd, who was a well settled Red Hood. Little murder, but mostly having fun with the outlaws and saving the world. Now is an angry recently resurrected 19 year old bent on beating the Bat up. Currently he's gone to the wind. No one knows where he's at, but once something blows up they'll use that as a triangulator.
Cassandra Cain, who already is a stubborn shit at the best of times but has learned to compromise more and more over the years, is back to the homeless child that Bruce found during No Mans Land. She only trusts Bruce and Duke and is utterly willing to wreck anyone else who gets close to them.
Tim Drake, who has found his calling as whatever call sign he chooses, is now launched back to “All my friends and family are dead or think I’m in desperate need of therapy (which I am but god forbid I admit that), I think I’m a little insane with grief so let me traverse the entire world and work with one of my adoptive fathers greatest enemies to find him” Red Robin era. He's been holed up in his room running the calculations that this is a doomsday scenario since he got back from being de-aged.
Stephanie Brown (who, unlike the rest was smart enough to run for the hills when the magic user appeared, yelling out that this one is for the idiot boys, but unfortunately got waylaid by Cass), is now a new Spoiler who is spoiling to fight Batman barehanded because he said that she should go home.
Duke is back to the Robin War gang era and along with Dick, ready to Fight God. Hes got like, fifty makeshift weapons at one time and ends up teaming up with Cass.
Damian, currently Robin and doing very well in the role, is now back to the newly acquired child stage where he’s attempting to prove himself to both sides of his heritage. He ends up being terribly endearing to Bruce solely because, even if it's only partial, at least Damian sticks around for the whole lecture when the crew gets in trouble (he's only doing that so he can find loopholes).
It concerns Bruce how many of these literal children are either down to murder or take out their siblings should said sibling Attempt To Murder.
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fcthots · 6 months
Note
Heyy! i hope you're having a wonderful day today let's start with that! <3 Soo I know many people find the Jason Todd friends with benefits au hot but personally...I CAN'T. My softy self will cry of jealousy so hard because of the no strings attached thingy. I couldn’t help imagine reader and Jason in that situation (hope this is understandable its my first ask and im still working on my english!) Love your writings and please don't feel pressured to write if you're not feeling up to it!
no bc i have been thinking about this and IEDJFHNEIJF i have opinions. There is only ONE (1) correct way to do fwb w jason and it is ANGST.
You're both hopelessly in love with each other. You both know it, but you can't be everything you want to be. You can't have the one thing you want most, but this will just have to be enough.
His eyes always linger on you. No matter what you're doing. It's like he gets drunk on just watching you move. He'll sit on your couch after he swore he'd stop coming over. He watches you wash dishes and wipe down the counters. He twitches every time you move as if he wants to stop you, as if he wants to do it for or with you, anything for you to not do it by yourself, but he doesn't get up, only watches. Watches you like you're a deity and he is your most devout follower. Watches you with so much adoration that you swear he's in love with you, but he'll be gone before you wake up, and you'll fall asleep to him saying "we can't do this again," but he'll come back. He'd come back in a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, anything to see your face. You swear he's in love with you, but then he'll say he doesn't want to see you again, even if you know he'll come back. You tell yourself that wanting and needing are different things. He doesn't want to need you. You try and tell yourself he loves you, but he makes sure to tell you he doesn't.
You take him back every time. You take him back like he didn't leave you in the middle of the night. Take him back like he didn't say that it was the last time. You take him back like you actually want him. He'll let himself believe it, because he wants you so bad, but he can never let you know that. He needs you like a drowning man needs air, but he cannot have you. He cannot keep you, but how is he supposed to tell you that? Sometimes when he slips in through your window soaked with rainwater and you wrap his towel snug around his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair, and he swears you love him too, but it's better if you don't so he lets himself believe it. He lets himself believe you don't love him the way he loves you, so he can pretend he isn't killing you when he leaves before dawn. He knows he has to leave. He has to keep you safe. Safe from the world. Safe from him. He'll only break your heart if you let him keep it, but he breaks it every time he puts it down to leave.
He's in love with you, but protecting you comes first even if it only hurts you both more. You will take anything he'll give you. You undo each other. You lay yourselves bare for only the other person to see. It only hurts you, but you can't stop. You can't stop because it's too much, but not enough. It is all you have and ruining what you have. You hate each other for it. You love each other. You scream his name every night. Sometimes he draws it out of you, and other nights you scream it into the sky with tears in your eyes. You will never forgive each other. There is nothing to forgive. The poison tastes sweet when it comes from your lover's hand.
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fic-over-cannon · 6 months
Text
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Words Left Unsaid
jason todd x f!reader
ao3 link
summary: jason todd is your childhood best friend. he dies before his Words come in, the first words his soulmate will say to him, and you have to pick up the pieces.
tags: soulmate au, major character death (temporary), grief
rated mature | wc: 8.8k
a/n: so this monster of a story was based on an ask i sent to @jasonsmirrorball a while back (don’t read for spoilers). it pretty much took on a life of its own, and now here we are nearly 9k later. it does get pretty dark in its exploration of grief, so please take care of yourselves my lovelies.
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Everyone’s born with Words somewhere on their body, unreadable at first. The skin is shiny, like an old scar, the words blurry and undefined. One day, you’ll see the first words you’ll ever hear your soulmate say to you, that shiny patch of skin blooming like ink (there’s superstitions about the colour your Words fade into, as popular as astrology). The trick of the thing is, you won’t find out what your Words are until you’ve become the person who is meant to hear them. You could meet your soulmate a hundred times and not know it, not until you’ve both grown into the people you need to be. The youngest person to get their Words was seven, and the oldest 92 years young. Or so the stories go. When you’re young, still poking at your loose front tooth with your tongue, it’s a story that comforts you. It’s the story you beg your parents for before bed every night. It’s the carrot they use to get you to try new things and go new places. What if you meet your soulmate at the new movie theatre downtown? How do you know eating your veggies won’t develop you into who your soulmate needs you to be?
It’s what your mother uses to try and coax you out of the car for your first day at a new school. She’s driven you to school for your first day, a one off so she can finish up your admittance paperwork. In this moment you hate her for it. It’s February and the year is more than halfway over. The snow has melted into dirty grey slush in the streets and the pinching Mary Janes the school mandates as part of the uniform are going to provide no protection. It’s halfway through the year and you’re certain no one is going to be your friend at a new school in a new city. You’re twelve years old and to you this is the end of the world. You’re trying so hard not to cry, hugging yourself together and burying your chin in your chest.
“Come on, honey, this is a school. It’ll help you become who you need to be.”
Your mother’s voice is cajoling, trying to coax you out the same way she coaxed a stray cat into her arms. It worked on the cat, now named Haley after the comet, but it doesn’t work on you. She tries to catch your eye in the rear view mirror but you stubbornly turn your head to look out the window instead.
“Please. Work with me here. We’ll go in together, you’ll have a wonderful day and make so many friends. And after school, I’ll take you out for donuts and you can tell me all about it before your Dad gets home.”
You keep silent, continue to stare out the window at all the other kids walking into the building.
“Honey, please. Can you just do this one thing for me, please.”
She’s almost begging now, and you hate the way it makes her sound. You want to tell her how scared you are, how there’s nothing more you want to do except huddle under your covers in your unfamiliar bed and hold Haley close. But your fear is a hot ball in your chest, choking off any words that might come out. You look at her though, plead with her with your eyes to understand how much you don’t want to do this. She stares back at you, an exhausted slump to her shoulders and lines around her eyes you don’t remember being there. Slowly, you unwrap your arms from around your rib cage. Place a hand on each knobbly knee and slowly curl them into fists before nodding, once, sharply, eyes firmly fixed on the car seat in front of you. Your eyes burn, but the sigh of relief your mother heaves out is worth it.
Gotham Academy is housed in a collection of gothic stone buildings which should have been strange in a large city like Gotham but weirdly works. You just think it’s creepy. Head down, you follow your mother’s back weaving through the crowds of students. You don’t want to see the stares, but you can already feel them boring into you. Sitting in the secretary’s office, you pick at invisible lint on your knitted tights. You know your mother’s having a conversation with the secretary but it all flies over your head in shushing murmurs. Your back aches from the overstuffed chair. The Mary Janes do pinch, makes you worried that you’ve already twisted your ankles from the way they throb.
“I’ve got to get to work now sweet pea, but I just now you’re going to have a great first day. I’ll pick you up at 4:00 and we can go get those donuts okay?”
Your mother’s crouched down in front of you, eyes searching your face for any kind of reaction. She looks worried and that’s what causes you to crack. You fling yourself out of the chair and into her arms, allow yourself one great heaving sob into her shoulder. She strokes your hair and hushes you, squeezes you tight like she could make you part of her.
“Oh honey. Everything’s scary right now but I promise it’s not going to stay that way. I believe in you and you’re going to get through this.”
You draw back from her, scrub at your face with your fists. Heaving breaths don’t help but they don’t make it worse. You go with the secretary, new schedule twisted tight in your hands. She lets you discard your coat and backpack in a locker, before walking you to your new homeroom. You only hope that you’ll remember the locker combination.
You hate the way your new homeroom teacher makes you stand at the front of the room. Mr. Mulligan won’t let you sit down until you introduce yourself to the class, a thing he could have done so easily himself. Pulling at your sleeves and trying not to make eye contact with anyone, you stutter out a few basic facts. Hate the way you can feel the other students catalogue you, the way your hair doesn’t look shiny and straight like its fresh out of a salon, your too small shoes, the unfashionably long length of your skirt and the lack of designer accessories. Your cheeks and eyes are burning by the time you can slide down into your assigned seat near the back of the class. There’s only one other person sitting in your row, a boy with dark curling hair and a shy grin. He leans over to your desk just Mr. Mulligan starts the lecture.
Whispers, “Hi! My name’s Jason. I already know your name, figured if we’re going to be seat mates its only fair you know mine.”
You smile tightly and turn back to the lesson. You’re desperate not to miss anything, already feeling like you’ve been left behind. At your old school, you were in the middle of The Great Gatsby, but Gotham Academy is doing Romeo and Juliet for their seventh grade English class. You don’t have the play book, have no idea what part of the text they’re talking about, and this is the first time you’ve actually heard Shakespeare read out loud. Writing as fast you can, you try to keep up but it doesn’t matter how good your notes are if you don’t understand what the teacher’s talking about.
Usually you love English class, how uncovering symbolism and hidden meanings make you feel like you’re uncovering secret messages sent by the authors years in the past. Now it’s all going over your head and you hate it here so much already. The one class that you might have been looking forward to and you’re overwhelmed by it. You press too hard with your pencil, tear through the sheet of paper in front of you.
A notebook slides across your desk. Messy but legible writing on the first few scenes of the Act are written on it. Looking in the direction it came from, you make eye contact with Jason. He grins toothily before turning back to the front, Mr. Mulligan having moved on to a different quotation. The gesture makes your chest tight.
The rest of the class goes by uneventfully if still a challenge. There’s a short break between classes in which you frantically copy down the notes and slide the notebook back to him before your next teacher arrives. The next class isn’t so bad, still difficult and you’ve never liked math as much as you probably should, but it’s less intimidating than English. Someone must have fiddled with the thermostat during the break because the room feels colder than before. You wish you were on your old school’s schedule with shorter classes and more breaks. Sitting still for so long at your desk is making your back ache and cramp up. Math is almost over, Miss Lewis writing out the assigned homework on the board, when a wave of something comes over you. It’s an effort of will not to curl up on your desk.
The bell rings for lunch break and you just about bolt to the first bathroom you can find. Something’s wrong with you, more than just nerves over the first day. You’re cold but you’re sweating, nausea burning at the back of your throat. The ache in your back and stomach are almost unbearable, makes you want to curl into the fetal position to ward off invisible blows. Rolling down your tights in a hurry, you sit down on the cold toilet as fast as you can. Your hand is wet, and for a moment you worry that you’d lost control of your bladder on the way to the bathroom. But the stain on your hand is dark, matches the blood slick crotch of your panties. You hang your head and can feel the tears you’ve been holding onto all morning drop onto the floor. Just another thing you can’t control in this shitty new town and its stupid new school. Your first period.
The bathroom is cold, hard tile under your feet and wintery sunlight weak through the windows near the ceiling. The blood on your fingers is cold and tacky now. There’s a boundary here, between childhood and being an adult that you aren’t ready to cross yet. I want my mom, you think, only on the edge of hysteria. But she’s at work, wouldn’t be able to come if you called.
So you do what needs to be done, stop your tears as best as you can and sniffle. Wipe your face clean with the back of your sleeve and do your best to dab at your underwear with the single ply toilet paper. Layer sheets of toilet paper between your tights and underwear, build a makeshift pad in your sort-of dry underwear out of toilet paper and hope that it will hold up. Luckily you’ve escaped staining the regulation uniform skirt, so no one should be able to tell what happened. You get transfixed by the swirls of blood washing down the sink drain, hands gone numb under the stream of water. Splash cold water on your face in the vain hope it’ll calm down your puffy eyes. As ready as you can be in this situation, you eye yourself in the mirror and tell yourself to get moving before the bell for third period rings.
The boy from the back row is waiting outside the classroom for you. He looks nervous until he sees you, lights up with that shy smile again.
“Hi! I uh noticed you weren’t at lunch today so I grabbed you an apple in case you didn’t grab anything to eat.”
He’s babbling on about the cafeteria food not being that bad if you’d just try it, even though finding a table the first time can be rough. All you can do is stare at the apple in his hands, transfixed. You’re only shaken out of your stupor by the sound of him calling your name.
“So… are you going to take it? The bell’s going to ring soon and the teachers really don’t like us eating during class.”
“Thank you,” you say, genuinely shocked and touched.
He goes a little bashful at that, looks away as you take the apple from him. The apple’s good, sweet and crisp under your teeth. You make quick work of it in the hallway, finishing it up just as the bell rings. Jason stands right in front of you the whole time, hides you from the penetrating eyes of your classmates.
“All done? We should probably find our seats now. Monty,” and here he adopts a snooty British accent, “Archibald the Third is a real stickler for being on time. He’ll mark you late if you’re not sitting in your seat, even if you’re in the classroom.”
His impression makes you snicker and forget, just for a moment, how miserable you are. Mr. Archibald the Third is just as ridiculous as Jason’s impression of him predicted, but you get through it by making eye contact with Jason over the most ridiculous moments. Mr. Archibald really does have you call him “the Third”. It’s probably got something to do with his Words, a flowing script running vertically down the side of his face reading, “The Third, dear God how many of you are there?”. History with Mr. Archibald manages to be fun despite his absurd demeanor and your own private hurt seeming less terrible for a few scattered moments.
The final class of the day drags on, the pain in your front and back growing. Your hand moves across the page but your mind isn’t really paying attention. There’s a commotion as people gather their things and stand, already streaming out the door. You blink, stupefied, then slowly gather your things.
“Same time, same place tomorrow then?”
“—Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow Jason.”
Your mother’s waiting for you in front of the school, car idling puffs of smoke into the darkening afternoon. Your backpack lands in the back seat and you crush your face into her coat across the console. Her hands come to your back, patting and rubbing circles until your breath comes in long, even draws.
“Honey I’m so proud of you. Your first day done! Let’s go celebrate, hmm? How was it? Did you make any new friends?”
“Can we get the donuts to go? I— uh, um I— I might have started my period today?”
Your voice lifts on the end of the sentence, suddenly absurdly worried about her reaction. You needn’t have worried though.
“Oh sweet pea, on your first day too? We can go home, get you a bath and something for your cramps.”
“No, I just really want to go get donuts with you because today kind of sucked and I’ll still feel kinda shitty but at least then I get donuts while I feel bad.”
“No more swearing and we’ll get a whole box to go, okay?”
Lying in bed that night, wrapped around a hot water bottle with Haley on your feet, you think that your day wasn’t that bad. It could have been a lot worse, and Jason was surprisingly nice. You stare at the shiny patch of skin on your wrist and hope that one day it will all be worth it. You drift off to the thought of blue eyes.
For the rest of that week you join Jason at his corner in the cafeteria. Between Math and History you slowly start to get to know one another. He offers to let you borrow his notes for the upcoming test in English, gets a little sheepish when he mentions that he practically knows the content by heart anyway. Jason’s sweet and funny and by Friday you two are the best of friends.
Once your mother is confident that you can handle the commute to school on your own, she doesn’t mind if you’re home late as long as you send a text first. Something about socializing with more kids your age being good for you, not that you’re listening too distracted in the haze of victory. So the two of you hang out after school, the city your shared playground. Jason treats you to your first chili dog and laughs when you get some on your nose. In revenge, you dare him to cover his lunch in chili oil at lunch the next day. The way Mr. Archibald threatens you both with detention for being disruptive is so worth it.
It’s not until the middle of April that you get the courage to ask Jason why you. Why out of everyone in the school he chose to reach out to the new kid and make her his friend. It’s probably the most personal thing you’ve asked him yet.
“It’s ‘cause no one else would’ve. Most of the kids here, their families founded Gotham and they’re not keen on outsiders. Most of the scholarship kids, they start at the same time, form a group so the rich kids don’t pick on them so much.” He pauses here, has to look away before he goes on. “Most of the others don’t like me ‘cause I don’t really fit into either category, you know? Like my dad’s a big name in Gotham but he only just adopted me so I’m not really one the rich kids but he’s doing more than just paying my school fees. You looked just as lonely as I was,” here he turns to grin, “and I wasn’t going to give up an opportunity to make someone carry my lunch tray.”
“Hey, idiot, if I remember right it was you bringing me lunch the first time.” You shove at him indignantly, but he dodges too quickly for you.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t remember, on account of me being an idiot.” He flicks you on the tip of the nose and goes running.
And then it’s on. You chase him around the park, laughing and swearing to get your revenge on him. The two of you collapse breathlessly onto a mostly dry patch of dirt under a skeletal tree. Staring up at the sky and trying to catch your breath, you feel Jason nudge at your should beside you.
“So what about you? What brought you to the happiest place on earth?”
“My dad got headhunted for a promotion. He’s researching something for Wayne Industries and all of us had to move here for it. So mom gets a new job and I get transferred to a new school.” You sit up suddenly, look down at Jason lying in the grass. “Promise not to tell anyone?” You wait for him to nod first before continuing. “I only got into Gotham Academy because of my dad. I heard him and my mom arguing about it; he made it part of his contract that I’d get to go to school there if he accepted the job.”
“So? I’m only at GA because of my dad too. You think a kid from Crime Alley gets to go to private school without a little nepotism?”
You slump back down on to the grass, stretch a hand out to the sky and look up at it.
“To nepotism I guess.”
A hand reaches up to the sky next to yours. Slowly, ever so slowly he reaches a pinky out and links it with yours.
“To two misfits only here because of nepotism.”
School lets out in June, the city air ridiculously hot and humid. You can’t say that you’ve made any good friends outside of Jason, but there’s some girls you say hello to in the halls. You mourn not being able to see Jason everyday, but the plans you have to meet up are enough to soothe the ache.
He takes you to an arcade first, the two of you spending hours trying to beat each other at Pac Man. Tired but happy you split a basket of fries at the attached cafeteria. You’re enjoying the greasy fried goodness of the snack but you notice Jason isn’t reaching for the basket as quickly as you are. Looking over at him, you notice him staring at a pair of brothers playing a game. The younger whoops, jumps up and down in excitement. The older one ruffles his brother’s hair and challenges him to a new round. You toss a fry in Jason’s direction, surprised when he actually manages to catch it.
“You good?”
“—Yeah. It’s just, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it? But I kind of have an older brother and he was supposed to take me to the arcade last weekend but he got in a fight with Dad and just left.”
“That’s a real dick move, ditching you over his issues.” At that, Jason breaks out in hysterical laughter, almost choking on the fry in his mouth. There are tears in his eyes by the time he stops coughing but he looks slightly less like a kicked puppy.
“It really, really was. You don’t know how much it was.”
Happy that the mood has lifted, the two of you finish off the basket of fries. You challenge Jason to Dance Dance Revolution and he wipes the floor with you. He’s way more athletic than you’d expected from him. The two of you part ways happy, already planning your next hang out. It is enough.
You meet up almost every week that summer. Jason shows you the Gotham he knows, little hidden gems only locals know about. A movie theatre that only shows movies made before 1980, a diner with the best milkshakes you’ve ever tasted, the best places in the public library to read undisturbed. Teaches you about the safest places to evacuate when disaster hits, which parts of the city are most dangerous. The park and its chili dog stand quickly become a favourite for you, a place to just hang out without any responsibilities. It also becomes a kind of confessional of sorts, where you end up telling each other your worst fears and secret hopes.
You confess once, after riding out your first Rogue attack with your fingers buried in Jason’s T-shirt, that you’re worried you’ll never feel at home again. That you can never go back now to your old house and feel at home there now, but that Gotham still feels too alien to be called home yet. Your darkest fear, that you’ll end up alone one day, deserted by everyone that you know and love. Jason tells you about his fears that one day all of this, Bruce and Alfred, the manor, school, will disappear one day. That the big brother he looks up to will never start to like him. Every time the two of you bare your souls to each other, Jason will hook his pinky over yours and squeeze. It’s a friendship built on shared secrets, on fears assuaged, and worries made better.
Your last year of middle school is largely uneventful. You got to classes, have lunch with Jason, hang out after class with Jason, text Jason. You get into a routine and that brings you comfort. There’s a slight period of awkwardness right before the 8th grade formal. A weird tension envelopes you both, the nebulous question of if you’re going together hanging over you. You don’t like it, the way Jason seems almost hesitant in all your conversations these days. It sets your teeth to itching and you can’t stand it anymore.
Slamming down your textbook, you say “Okay that’s it. I can’t stand whatever this is. You and I are going to the formal as friends. We’ll get all dressed up and if it’s lame we can ditch and go get Batburgers.”
“Oh thank God. I didn’t want to say anything in case it made it awkward but then it was just getting more awkward and then I just didn’t know what to do.”
The party is lame, but the burgers make up for it. Your dress is nice though. Your mother helped you pick it out, the fitted bodice and loose swing of the skirt making you feel passably pretty. It’s been hard to feel pretty with the way your body’s changed over the year, hips widening and chest starting to grow in ways you can’t predict. Jason cleans up nice, though whoever slicked back his hair went overboard on the gel. You pose for a picture all dressed up together, faces pulled into silly expressions, your burgers held in front of you like trophies. You pin a copy of the photo up in your bedroom. It makes you smile every time you see it, something warm in your chest.
The first day of high school brings back those first day jitters. You’re not even transferring schools, just switching to a different building and still your palms are sweating. It’s not until you see Jason, sitting in the back row with an empty seat behind him that you can release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. It’s different teachers and different subjects, but in some ways it’s like the day you met again. Scribbling notes until your hands cramp, Jason passing you notes in class, struggling to keep up with what the teachers are saying. At lunch, you and Jason even split an apple between you. It’s terrifying and familiar and all the more bearable because you aren’t going through it alone.
High school is different. Everyone’s more aware of each other in ways they weren’t in middle school. Girls wear brighter lip glosses and flaunt the shiny spaces where their marks will come in. Boys douse themselves in too much body spray and start eyeing up anything that moves. But through out it all, your friendship remains the same. Something about high school solidifies things, has you go from You and Jason to YouandJason. At school you’re a unit, almost impossible to think of you as separate beings. After school, you still spend time together, still explore the city, still message all the time. But you’ve still never been to each other’s houses. Never met each other’s families yet.
Jason offers, once, to have you over to the manor during the winter break, but you’re not keen on it. Crinkle up your nose and ask to think about it.
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you over the holiday, or meet your family Jason. It’s just that I kind of like the way things are? My family knows that you’re my best friend, they’ve seen pictures of us, but the way things are now, you’re still entirely mine. Our friendship’s just for us. Meeting your family kind of changes that.”
“I like us being us. But would it really be that different to come hang out for a few hours? You could come over when Dad’s out and it’d just be me and Alfred.”
Eventually you agree, spend an afternoon with Jason at the manor to cram for your next round of tests. Mr. Pennyworth is lovely, keeps bringing snacks up to the library as an excuse to check up on you. Bent over your books, you miss the significant looks Alfred is sending Jason over your head and the blush that lights up his face in response. Mr. Wayne is thankfully not home. You’re not sure you could have handled meeting Jason’s grandfather and father in the same visit.
Jason makes it over to your apartment a few times over the spring semester. Your father’s always working, but your mother likes him well enough. She makes him stay over for dinner, won’t let him leave without feeding him first. She calls him a nice boy and tells him to come back any time. Still, you two prefer going out to coffee shops or the library to hang out, uninterrupted by well-meaning adults.
It’s on one of those summer nights, the two of you some of the last people in the public library, that the subject of your Words comes up. The skin across your left wrist catches the warm light of the lamps in a way that’s distracting. You’re startled by the feeling of fingers tracing featherlight over still-shiny skin.
“You ever wonder it about it sometimes? What it’ll say or who’ll say it?” The tone is unreadable but Jason’s voice is above the whisper he usually uses in the library, but with so few people around you figure there’s no harm in mimicking his volume.
“I used to. I was obsessed with Words when I was little. Couldn’t go to sleep without hearing about them as a bed time story.”
“Used to?” And Jason’s fingers are still there, drawing maddening little patterns across the thin skin of your wrist.
“Well, I’ve got other things to think about now, things that are actually within my control.”
Jason presses down, gently, with the broad of his thumb on your pulse. You snatch back your wrist, cradle it to your chest, uncertain of how intimate that gesture felt.
“Fair’s fair. I showed you mine, now you’ve gotta show me yours.” Your tone is teasing, trying to capture the earlier lightness of the afternoon.
“Oh I do, do I?”
He reaches for the top button on his uniform button down, starts undoing two more. Horrified, you reach across the table and grab at his hands.
“What are you doing?! You can’t just go around stripping in public!” Your hissed whisper may not have been said at all for all the impact it makes. Jason shakes off your hands and goes back to undoing his shirt.
“Not all of us are blessed with easily accessible Words. Relax, I just have to get the shirt wide enough to show how far the Words will go.”
Across his collarbone is a thin strip of shiny skin, reaching from one side of his neck to the other like a necklace. Whatever it will say looks pretty lengthy for someone’s Words. Mesmerized, you reach out to trace it with your fingertips. Jason shifts back before you can make contact.
“Gotta buy me dinner first sweetheart. I’m a classy lady like that.”
You flush at the term of endearment, but cover it with indignation.
“Hey! What do you call the tacos I bought for us yesterday?”
He laughs it off and the tense moment is broken. You pack up your things, smiling at the ground. You like the way sweetheart sounds coming from Jason, not that you’d give him that to tease you with. Despite how much you tell each other, there’s one secret you haven’t told him yet. That privately you hope your Words will be his. It’s so easy to fall in love with Jason, or at least what passes for love at this age. The light in his eyes when he rants about the latest book he’s read, when he shares the biscuits Alfred packs for him, the way he listens to you so intently even if he doesn’t have all the answers. You can admit to yourself that you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend, but never out loud. Your friendship is one of the most important things in your life and you are terrified of destroying it.
You don’t see Jason much after that, that summer. Your texts and calls still get answered, but he’s frustratingly vague about meeting up. He says that his dad has him in a kind of summer school, wants him to learn from private tutors before school starts up in the Fall again. Asking about what it is that he’s supposed to learn (his marks are already incredibly good) makes him cagey about it. You don’t want to push, but it feels like he’s pulling away from you. Phone calls get shorter, sentences more clipped. Your offers to just drop by the manor to see him get turned down automatically. It’s the longest you’ve gone without seeing him since you’ve met. You’re terrified that he’s done with you. That for some unnameable reason he’s decided to end your years of friendship and there’s nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Gotham seems colder without Jason at your side, the dangers more obvious and your usual haunts less welcoming.
Finally, after nearly two months you manage to pin him down, get him to agree to meet the day after his birthday. Your heart is in your mouth as you wait for him on a bench in the park. There’s a trickle of sweat running down your back. It’s a hot day but the park is a lush green, an after effect from an Ivy attack the night before. You release your grip on your present for Jason, smooth the envelope and hope you didn’t crease it with your sweaty fingers. A voice is calling your name.
Jason’s been changed by the weeks apart. He’s a few inches taller now, filled out in the shoulders more. You have to crane your neck back to see his face. The anxiety in you is reflected in his face, the way he nervously runs his fingers through his hair, his darting eyes. Uncertain how to proceed, you thrust the envelope out between you.
“Happy Birthday.”
“I— thank you.”
There’s silence again, and the awkwardness between you is a tangible thing. It’s worse than it was in eighth grade only this time you don’t know how to bridge the gap. You look down at your shoes, the toes scuffed.
“I’m sorry for ignoring you.” It comes out of him in a rush. “I’ve been a really shitty friend lately. Just, all summer my dad’s been on me about studying with these private tutors except they’re all friends with Dick so nothing I do can ever be good enough in comparison and every day I’ve felt like crap but I didn’t want you to see me like this which only made me feel worse ‘cause then I basically had to avoid you all the time which is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do and all I wanted to do was have you tell me there’s nothing wrong with me and they can all go kick dirt but then I’d have to talk to you about it which I wasn’t ‘cause I was already embarrassed.” He has to pause here to catch his breath, words running together at the speed which he was going.
“You planning to breathe any time soon?”
He deflates, collapses onto the bench next to you, an arm tucked around his right side awkwardly holding the card so it doesn’t get crushed. You sigh, heavily.
“I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Your confession is barely above a whisper. You can’t even look at him as you say it.
“I didn’t— I wouldn’t. I need you to know that I never, ever don’t want to be your friend okay? I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”
“Promise not to cut me out again and that you won’t take out your own issues on our friendship, and maybe I’ll consider forgiving you.”
“Pinky promise.”
Jason places the card in his lap, goes to link your fingers together, then winces at the movement of his arm. Suddenly sirens are going off in your brain.
“What’s wrong with your side?”
“Nothing, must have just pulled a muscle or something.” He tries to laugh it off nervously, but you can tell when he’s lying. His eyes dart to the left over your head, knee bounces almost imperceptibly. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you know he’s not telling you the truth.
“You can’t even go a full minute without cutting me out! Jason, I know something is wrong. Now tell me.”
He hesitates, and you’ve had it with the lies and the avoidance and the being kept in the dark. You fingers go to the hem of his shirt and you start tugging.
“Hey! Wh-what are you doing?”
He tries to squirm away, batting at your hands but you get his shirt up far enough to see the bruise on his ribs in the shape of a boot. It’s purple going a sickly yellow, mottled and stark against the dips of his ribs. You can feel all the blood drain from your face. Jason’s pushed up against the far side of the bench, pulling his shirt down with shaking hands.
“Jason. Jason if someone is hurting you, you need to tell someone. If it's your dad or one of the tutors, we can find someone to tell together.”
“No one— no one’s hurting me, all right? I just didn’t get out of the way fast enough during a Rogue attack. I didn’t want to worry you, that’s all. No one’s abusing me, okay?”
“But you’d tell me if they were?”
“I tell you everything important.”
It’s not enough, not nearly for you. From the look in his eyes Jason knows this too, but its all he’s willing to give. There’s a crossroads in your relationship here, a road where you push and push until you get the full story but shatter the tattered strands of your friendship or you accept that you’ll never have all of Jason but maybe your friendship will survive. So you do what needs to be done.
“Okay. If you say that’s what happened then I trust you.”
It’s a low blow, to twist your trust in him like a knife, but it’s your only way to express your frustration with him. You gesture to the envelope, fishing around to change the subject.
“So you going to open that or what?”
And just like that, there’s a new normal. You see Jason everyday in class but he begs off your after school hangouts as often as you two actually spend time together. Conversation is stilted, hidden undercurrents to them of subjects neither one of you wants to address. You’re wary, suspicious of every bump and bruise Jason shows up with. The ease to your friendship has gone, disappeared to the realm of the past.
At the end of October, Jason becomes obsessed with the news. Keeps checking headlines and obituaries, fearful like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. The death of Felipe Garzonas makes the news and the tension in Jason ratchets up. He’s irritable, stops paying attention in classes, blows up when you try to feel out what’s wrong. He’s apologetic every time, promises it won’t happen again until you eventually stop trying to ask questions. Hope that your presence is enough to steady him through whatever it is that is tormenting him.
He asks you once, if you’d believe in his word, no matter what the evidence of something told you otherwise. You tell him you would, always, but that answer doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Winter break comes and goes, without an invitation to visit this time. If anything, Jason comes back more irritable and closed lipped. Mutters something about a fight over Christmas dinner, his brother and Bruce clashing over something. You’re worried about him all the time now. He’s more reckless with himself, won’t look before crossing the road, reacts aggressively to every perceived challenge, throws things when he gets frustrated. He’s changing into someone you don’t recognize in front of your eyes.
April comes and there’s a new light in his eyes. It’s manic and hopeful and the first emotion you’ve seen in him other than fear in months. He won’t tell you what it is, just that there’s something new he’s found out, something about his mother. This time you hope, fingers crossed and a wish on every star that whatever has brought him this hope won’t hurt him.
On Monday, Jason doesn’t come to school. He doesn’t answer your messages or pick up any of your calls. Even when he’s been out sick he at least lets you know. On Tuesday you get called into the office in the middle of first period. You haven’t been back to the secretary’s office since the day you enrolled. The seats are still as overstuffed as you remember. The secretary is the same, a few more grey streaks in her perfectly set hair. Her eyes are red, and she’s got one of those old fashioned handkerchiefs in her hands.
“I’ve got some bad news honey, and I— I think it would be best if you sit down for it.”
“Oh— will this take long? Only I got pulled out of class and we’re reviewing for the exam next week.”
“Oh honey.” She has to pause to dab at her eyes before continuing. “You’re going to be excused from all exams next week, okay? I need you to know that the school will do whatever we can to support you through this.”
Now, now you are scared. “Support me through what? It’s not my mom is it?”
“Honey it’s Jason, Jason Todd. I’m so sorry but he passed away yesterday. I’ve contacted your parents and your mother is on the way to come pick you up.”
Her words don’t make any sense.
“But he can’t be. I saw him on Saturday. There’s been a mistake. He’s not dead.” Your legs don’t work anymore and you hit the couch, hard, sliding off the overstuffed pillows to kneel on the floor. You don’t feel any of it. There’s copper in your mouth, you must have bitten your tongue on the way down but you can’t feel it. There’s movement in your peripheries, and your mother crouches down into your field of vision.
“Mom, mom they made a mistake. She’s— she’s saying that Jason’s dead, but he can’t be. Mom he’s not dead.”
“Sweet pea, I’m so, so sorry. It’s been on the news all morning.”
It rips through you then, grief. Sobs shake your whole body, your mother doing her best to hold you together. There’s a roaring in your ears like you’re caught in a vacuum. You can’t see through the tears. Your body is trembling violently and you can’t care enough to try and stop it. Nothing matters anymore. Jason’s dead.
To get to the car, your mother has to half carry you. There’s no point in moving. You’re not sure how you end up in your bed at home but you do. You don’t sleep but you aren’t really awake either. The tears don’t stop coming. You’re nothing but an open wound, not even really a whole person. The world’s burned down to ash and you’re just floating through it. You know your parents come in to talk to you, can hear the murmur of their voices but you don’t care. There’s food put in front of you but it holds no interest to you. You might have had sips of water, maybe some broth but you don’t remember and you don’t care. The only thing you really register is Haley, nestling up to you and making biscuits with his paws in your blankets.
Jason’s funeral is on Friday and you can’t get out of bed to go. Jason’s not in that coffin, not really. He won’t be there and so you won’t be. Jason’s never coming home. Jason’s dead, Jason’s dead, Jason’s dead plays on a loop. You never got to tell him. He died without knowing you loved him. His death has ripped you open like nothing ever has before, regret a constant salt in the wound. He never told you that he was thinking of leaving, of going anywhere. It feels wrong at this point, to interrupt his family in their grief, another stranger claiming to have known their son. After all, how well did you really know him if you didn’t even know he was going to leave?
Grief swallows you whole, but over time you learn to live with it. Days blur together. The tears dry up but the not caring doesn’t. Inside of your head is a wall, separating you from the reality of a world without Jason. You’re wrapped in wool and safe behind glass, unable to care about anything. It’s easier that way.
The school passes you for the year, citing personal tragedy, and you don’t care. Summer comes and the only difference is that your mother comes in and throws your windows open every morning. It’s Jason’s birthday soon, too soon. He’ll never be sixteen but you will be. He’ll never have his Words come in. He’ll never get the chance to do all the things he talked about, make Gotham a better place, travel the world. But you can.
It makes no sense to live for a dead boy but it’s all you’ve got. So you do what you have to do. It gets you to leave your bed for the first time in months. To start eating again, even if there’s no taste to the food in your mouth. To shower and take care of yourself for the first time in ages. Your room is clean for the first time in months and the first thing you do is take down your photograph from the 8th grade formal and put it away in a desk drawer.
By September, you have gathered yourself enough to return to school despite the worried looks of your family. It is hard, the hardest thing you have ever done but you do it for the boy that will never graduate high school. You sit by yourself at your desk, you eat lunch by yourself, you go straight home after class without any detours. The school play this year is Romeo and Juliet. You take home the sign up flyer and consider it, hard. In the end you decide to leave it. Jason may have always wanted to try out for the play but you won’t survive torturing yourself with this. On opening night you tell your parents you’re going to see it and get drunk on the gymnasium roof.
You make it through your last two years of high school a ghost. Administration tries to pressure you into meeting with a therapist but you refuse. You don’t want to experience your grief at all. Numbness is the only way you are going to survive this, your new reality. You do take them up on their suggestion of volunteering. Working with the Martha Wayne Foundation for Underprivileged Children gives you a sense of purpose. Of helping other Crime Alley kids without the benefit of nepotism to get them into places like Gotham Academy. It stokes the first emotion in you other than numbness, and that’s rage for all the ways in which these kids have been failed.
You accept a full scholarship to Gotham University. Your parents couldn’t be more proud of your achievement but you can barely muster the energy to smile. Keep up the volunteer work while rushing through your degree in two years instead of four. With nothing else to drive you, you’ve got nothing but time for school. The Martha Wayne Foundation offers you a position in fundraising, and you accept. It’s not what you envisioned for yourself, but it’s a path forward with purpose.
You move out, into your own apartment in an area that’s probably too dangerous for a girl of your age but you can’t stand to be at home anymore. The job consumes your life and you are grateful for it. It’s important work, even if some of the policy meetings on accepting donations from the Red Hood make you want to fall asleep. You make use of your Gotham Prep connections, rubbing elbows with the rich for just as long as it takes to pry open their wallets. It’s ridiculous but the higher ups trot you out to entertain at fundraising events, a pretty young face to pull in more donors. Occasionally you see Bruce, or Dick, or the newest ward Tim at functions, always across the room before you quickly excuse yourself. The numbness carries you through your life but there are limits to it and you’re not eager to test them.
Even five years later, you can’t go back to the park. You’ve never had another chili dog, though you’ll hire the vendor to cater community events. You’ve worked your way back into the public library, but still avoid the alcove on the second floor in the encyclopedia section. There’s a handful of arcade tokens in a plastic bag in your apartment still unused. Batburger is still your favourite, but you still can’t set foot in the location nearest to the Academy.
You keep yourself so busy that when your Words come in, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t know…”, you barely give it a thought, just pulling the cuff of your shirt lower to cover your wrist. Carry on with the rest of your morning routine and head into the office. From that point on, your sleeves are always long and your gala outfits gain elbow length opera gloves. You never bother trying to read the rest of it. It doesn’t matter anymore.
It’s a cold February morning. The bus broke down two stops from the office and now you have to walk the rest of the way in the snow. Standing at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change, you pass the time by scanning the headlines on the nearest newsstand. “Lost Wayne son found alive” screams out at you, tearing into your heart bloody. You lose grip of your work bag, but manage not to lose your mind in the street. Picking your bag up out of the slush, you run into the nearest bodega bathroom and lock the door with trembling hands. Shove a fist into your mouth and scream as the tears pour down your face. You’re shaking, worse than you were all those years ago. Snot blocks your nose and you have to stop screaming to breathe. So you do what needs to be done. Fumbling with your coat pocket, you pull out your phone and call the office, call out sick. It’s the only time you’ve done it in all the time your supervisor has known you but the tremor in your voice and frequent sniffles must alarm her enough.
In a fog, you somehow make it from the bodega bathroom to the front gate of Wayne manor. It doesn’t look like it’s changed at all since your last visit over five years ago, except for the heaving mass of press. You circle round the property and enter through the bushes, the way Jason showed you years ago on a tour of the property. You slip on the snow, fall to your knees but get back up. This is the only thing that matters now. The back door has an elaborate knocker that takes both of your hands to lift. It takes what feels like ages for someone to answer the door. It’s poor Mr. Pennyworth, looking more ruffled than you’ve ever seen him. You’re indescribably rude to the poor man, pushing right past him and into the building. Only one thing matters now and your vision has narrowed out anything outside of achieving your goal.
There’s voices coming from somewhere inside, up the stairs and in the direction of the library. A hand, probably Mr. Pennyworth’s, tries to grab at your wrist but you’re too quick for that. You’re running now, clutching at the bannister as though it will pull you up the stairs faster. A shout from behind and the tone of the voices change, a door slamming in the distance. Finally, finally you reach the library but a body tries to come between you, stopping you in your tracks. Years of grief, anger, and battered hope come roaring through you at the thought of being denied seeing Jason, alive after all this time.
Your voice when it leaves you is dangerously low. “Dick, I presume? You don’t know me, and I’ve heard very little about you from Jason and what I did hear I didn’t like. I’m going to make this simple.” The door behind him cracks open, but you soldier on anyway. “Jason Todd was my best friend and first love.” The body stiffens, but that doesn’t matter in this moment. “You are going to step aside and-” anything else doesn’t matter because a door is thrown open and there is Jason.
Eyes wild, a good deal older and more scarred than before, but he’s alive. And then nothing else matters but the feel of his arms warm around you, the imprint of his jacket on your face, the smell of him largely unchanged. He’s alive and he’s real and you can touch him. You draw back to look at him, drink in the sharpened angle of his jaw, the blue-green of his eyes, the white streak in his hair. He’s grown taller and broader than he had over that wretched summer so many years ago. What catches your eye is the writing at the hollow of his throat, a stark black spreading across his collarbones exposed by the v of his t-shirt. Jason Todd was my best friend and first love, it reads.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I didn’t know you felt the same.” He says and your wrist starts to burn.
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threestarsinline · 3 months
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Children's Books and Leather Jackets (Part II)
Jason Todd x reader one-shot
Summary: You couldn't love your job more. Or at least, that's what you thought, until Jason Todd started coming into the bookshop every week without fail, like clockwork. And then you form a connection that tilts your whole world on its axis.
Word Count: 15.5K (total of 29.2K)
Category: More fluff for you all (yes, more jsjs), (plus slight angst related to mutual pining, idiots in love, friends to lovers and typical Gotham villain stuff)
Warnings: Jason stealing your heart (and you stealing his)
Author’s note: Well, here you go babes, the second (and final) part to what once was just a one-shot but that became so long that I had to split it up (despite how much it broke my heart to do so). Hope you enjoy it!
<Part I
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After that night at the dinner (that you didn’t ever want to end, though of course, sadly, it had to), everything stayed more or less the same. Jason kept coming into the bookshop several times a week, buying books and checking out some others.
Except that now, while you scanned the children’s books, as you knew what they were for now, you asked how the kids were doing.
Except that now, a lot of times when he came in the afternoons, Jason stayed in the bookshop with you until you closed, keeping you company.
Except that now, sometimes Jason brought food with him and had lunch with you.
Except that now, you texted each other practically everyday, carrying on conversations from the bookshop and talking about everything.
Except that now, your heart, instead of giving little jumps, it run whole laps every time you saw him.
And right now, you’re buzzing with nerves.
Because you don’t know where the line stands anymore, having become blurrier and blurrier with each smile, every longing look and every soft touch on his arm or the small of your back when you pass each other a lot closer than what is necessary.
And now you’re bouncing behind the counter, wondering if what you are about to do today is too much.
When that white streak that you love so much makes its way through the door, you can hardly wait to show him what you’ve found. Jason, like always, greets you with a smile and goes directly to the counter, not bothering with excuses anymore.
“There you are!” You exclaim, barely containing your excitement.
“Hi to you too.” He chuckles at your warm welcome as he finishes approaching the counter.
“I found it.” You say with a grin. Surprise makes its way across Jason’s features, immediately knowing what you were talking about.
“You did?” He asks in disbelief. You nod proudly and from under the counter, you slip out the third and last installment of a book series about the adventures of Daisy the giraffe. In the store you only had the first and the second one and the kids loved them. They had read both several times but were unable to see how the story ended since the books were quite old and very hard to find.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe it.” Jason continues as he takes the book from your hands that are extending it to him. “You’re amazing, Y/N.” He looks back up at you with shining eyes. “How did you do it?” You shrug your shoulders.
“I just tracked it down.” You answer. The truth was that it had taken a lot of time and effort to find it but the kids’ joy and how happy you felt right now made it all worth it.
“You did a lot more than that, believe me. The kids are going to love it.” Jason says, glancing back at the book and then at you once again, his eyes full of admiration. “Thank you.” He adds almost breathlessly.
You nod in acknowledgement with a bright smile.
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Jason had faced a lot of impossible situations during his life. Hardships that proved difficult to endure. From his days in the streets, to his Robin training and to his patrols as Red Hood.
But right now Jason feared that he may have found his greatest enemy. A problem hard to solve. A feat that will not be easy to achieve.
These damn braids.
Jason’s eyebrows are furrowed and he clenches his jaw in concentration. Despite having asked for help and Cass and Steph having taught him, he still was having trouble french braiding Lily’s hair.
He was in the area and decided to check on the kids, even though they didn't have a reading scheduled. After greeting the few that were there, Lily grabbed his hand and monopolized him.
She had asked him a few times to do her hair and he had tried but without much knowledge it had proved to be a disaster. At least now, even though it still felt a bit like an uphill climb, it seemed that his new skills were getting him somewhere.
They were sitting on some crates on the floor, Lily in front of him playing with her teddy and telling him his latest adventures as Batbear, making him chuckle at her great imagination.
He was working on the second braid when suddenly Lily fell into silence, deep in thought. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she finally spoke up.
“Do you like Y/N?” Lily asked, with the blunt curiosity characteristic of children her age.
Jason’s hands freeze on her blonde hair.
“Why do you ask?” Jason asks back nervously, afraid to give a clear response, as if after hearing it, Lily would run over to wherever you were to tell you. But she just shrugs her shoulders, lifting Batbear in her arms and examining his button-like eyes.
“She’s nice and funny.”
“Yeah, she is.” He coincides while slowly continuing to work on the braid.
“I like her. The other day she brought us all cookies from a bakery. They were delicious.” Lily continues, her voice acquiring a dreamy tone at the delightful memory.
Jason’s hands freeze once again. He had no idea you had done that. You hadn’t mentioned it to him. You had gone out of your way to buy treats for the kids and come here on your own on a non reading day.
Jason stands still on his seat, his gaze lost and thoughts clouded with you. He didn’t think that he could admire you more than what he already did, yet here he was, even more entranced by your kind nature.
“So you like her then?” Lily insists. She says it more in an innocent way rather than in the romantic sense, like when you meet a friend of a friend and they asked you if you liked hanging out with them. Just as Lily finishes her question, he ties up her braid and Lily turns her head, feeling him finish his work.
She catches sight of her reflection on a dirty window and lets out a delightful squeal that makes Jason jump in surprise. In an instant, the little girl is on her feet and admiring her hair from side to side, Batbear still in her grip.
Jason grimaces when he sees how the top of one of the braids is already starting to loosen and worries about what Lily will say. He still clearly needs more practice. But then-
“I love it!” Lily screams and Jason grins at her happiness. Ha, success. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She says in quick succession in a way in which the words jumble together and turns to give him a bone crushing hug, surprising for how little she is, and a sounding kiss on his cheek.
Then Lily sets off running, probably to show her friends her new hair, laughing all the way, completely forgetting about her earlier question. Jason can’t help but laugh under his breath too. He loves those kids.
He stands up and shakes his hands over his jeans to get rid of any possible dirt from the crate.
“Yeah, I like her very much.” Jason whispers, answering Lily’s question. His thoughts, as they usually tended to do, drifting back to you.
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“Oh my god, what happened to you?” You ask him another day when he enters the bookshop with a black eye. He opens his mouth to answer but you interrupt him. “Let me guess, boxing again?” You say with eyebrows raised in a playful manner so that he doesn’t need to worry about a fake excuse. But he chuckles and shakes his head.
“Not this time, no.”
“No? Impossible.”
“Okay so, turns out that Damian, for whatever reason that I still cannot comprehend, threw his phone at Tim. But Tim ducked and guess who was passing behind him in that exact moment just peacefully enjoying his bowl of cereal?”
“No way.” You say breathlessly, a smile already pulling at your lips and a laugh making its way up your throat.
He nods and sees you put a hand over your mouth, trying to conceal your laughter. The sight makes him smile, despite the fact that the movement pulls at the swelling of his cheek under his eye, making him wince slightly at the pain.
“Sorry.” You say, failing miserably in containing your laughter.
“It’s okay, go ahead. It is funny.”
You then finally burst out laughing and Jason feels his heart swell, the sound having become his favorite in the whole world, like listening to his favorite song. And he can’t help but join in your laughter too.
“Though I did drop my precious bowl of cereal.” He adds with an exaggerated pout and you laugh even more, making him feel a radiating warmth that not even the sun could equal to.
“Oh, poor Jason.” You say.
As your laughters finally slowly die down, you round the counter and lift your hands to hold the sides of his face, turning him to see the eye better in the light.
“Are you okay though?” You ask in a low voice, serious now, almost like a whisper.
And with your hands holding him, Jason thinks that he will always be okay, no matter if he's drowning or bleeding to death.
“Yeah.” He whispers back.
Were you this close just a second before? He can clearly see how the lights of the bookshop reflect in your eyes now.
“Did you put something over it?” He nods. You tilt your head, not sure to believe him with how he hadn’t really treated the wounds on his knuckles that one time.
“Some ice.” You manage to coax out of him and you shake your head and click your tongue in slight disappointment. 
“Not enough.” You say, and just like that one time, with the bookshop empty except for you two, you guide him into the break room by his hand, sit him down and bring the first aid kit. You take an ointment from it and stand in front of him. You look down at him, asking for permission with your eyes and he gives an almost imperceptible nod.
One of your hands takes hold of his face to tilt him to the light and the tips of your fingers on the other start applying the ointment softly to help with the swelling.
Jason’s hands twitch to place themselves on your hips to bring you even closer but he grabs his own knees instead. He doesn’t have the right to do something like that. It’s not like he’s your boyfriend.
No matter how much he might want to.
So he contents himself with looking into your eyes that are concentrated on his wound.
He can feel the warmth of your body seeping into his with how close you are and he can’t help but close his eyes to savor it even further. 
He has never felt safer.
The silence of the intimate moment is deafening in the best of ways. He would gladly stay like this forever.
But then, just like a crack of thunder, cold surrounds him once again as you whisper that you’re done and retract your hands from him. You wash your hands in the faucet of the kitchen part of the break room and Jason follows your every movement hypnotized.
“Better?” You say as you return and sit in front of him.
With you? Always.
“Yeah.” He breathes out and he isn’t lying. He can already feel the swelling going down. “Thank you.” 
“It’s nothing.” You say, shaking your head and shrugging your shoulders.
It’s like you don’t see how much you do for him, and not just for tending his wounds. Just everything in general. Your laugh. Your long conversations. And it kills him. It kills him that you may not know just how much he cares about you.
And it kills him even more that he doesn’t have the courage to tell you.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” You say and quickly get up to grab a heavy looking bag from the corner before coming back. “I went to my parents’ last weekend and I got these books that I thought the kids might like.” You start as you take the contents of the bag out and put them on the table for him to see.
He notices how you worry your lip and how your shoulders tense and he wonders why you’re suddenly like that. He then looks towards the several books displayed on the table in front of you two.
“Most of them are bedtime stories. My mom used to read them to me.” You start and then your small posture and uncertain tone clicks. You’re shy about this. Almost ashamed that he might think that this is something ridiculous.
As if he could think anything negative about you.
“They’re not much but I loved them when I was little.” You continue and as you tell him more about them, he can see with how much fondness you remember them and how excited you are to talk about them. The insecurity seems to leave your whole body as you get lost in your explanation of the books. 
Two of them are quite thick and you tell him that they have several different stories, from a prince and a princess that could only meet at sunrise or sunset since one of them could only be in the light of the moon and the other in the light of the sun. And that if they were exposed to the other light, due to a spell, they would die; to a story about a mother reading to his son.
Another couple of them follow the adventures of a mole at his house and at the beach and the books include a small mole cut-out that you move across the pages to make him follow the story. Another one is about a boy and his dog that go on a great adventure thanks to a magical blue balloon.
As he listens intently, he marvels at you. You really were the most thoughtful, kind and beautiful person that he had ever met and he couldn’t get enough of it.
He has to resist the urge to close the space between you and kiss you right there and then. But he decides against it. He liked how everything was going with you and he didn’t want to ruin it by suddenly rushing and risking everything.
Aside from the fact that you still didn’t know about a part of his life that he’s sure would make you push him away and send you running. Even though every time that he thinks about it, he’s considering telling you more and more, wanting to be completely sincere and honest with you, knowing how much you valued that.
“Sorry, that was a lot. This probably was a bad idea.” You say after you finish explaining all the books. You’re about to start picking them up to put them back in the bag when you feel his hand enclosing over one of your own, softly stopping you.
Your breath catches in your throat.
“No. These are great, Y/N. I love them and I’m sure that the kids will too. Thank you for sharing them.” He says looking into your eyes. You were sharing with him and the kids a very personal part of you that you held very close to your heart. And he wanted you to know how much he appreciated it.
He also gives your hand a small squeeze to show you how much he means his words and to encourage you. After a moment, you smile and nod.
“Tell me more.” He says.
At his genuine petition, you can’t do anything but carry on, your radiant smile matching his. “Okay.”
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It had been a long time since you had played any of these types of games. But you really do not remember being so bad at it.
After the reading that day, the kids had suggested (or rather insisted) on playing hide and seek.
So here you were, running around the playground trying to find a good place to hide all while questioning your life choices.
Had you really been this bad at hide and seek as a kid? Then again, it is quite easier when you’re much smaller and you can fit almost anywhere. Try doing that as an adult.
You turn a corner of the nearby buildings, entering into a small passage between the back of it and a wall separating the playground zone from the rest of the block. You know that Lily has had to have finished counting already. You don’t have much time left.
In the passage there are some piled up crates leaning against the wall. You consider hiding behind them though you know that it’s not the best hiding place. However, you’re already here and you can’t risk going back into the open space of the playground if you don’t want to get caught.
Just as you start moving towards them a voice whispers your name.
You turn and find that the building has a small space that cuts into it with a back door. Due to the afternoon light, the space is covered in shadows and leaning against the wall you find Jason, hiding. 
You can’t believe that you missed him with his impressive build.
But the place seems to work as a great hiding place, almost in plain sight yet easy to miss. So, when Jason extends a hand inviting you into it, you don’t think twice before taking it.
Next thing you know, your back rests in one of the walls carved into the building that lead to the door and Jason is positioned in front of you in a way that, even if Lily were to pass by and notice you, she would only see him. At least at first.
Jason leans his head out of the space for a second to check if anyone is coming and then he comes back in front of you.
And then your breathing hitches in your throat when you realize just how close you are, even though there is plenty of space in the small opening of the building for you two to stand next to each other without problem. Yet both of you remain in your current position, not daring (nor wanting) to move a muscle.
Suddenly all your nerves are alive and buzzing, your senses heightened and all you can see, hear and feel, is him.
You're hyper aware of everywhere that he’s touching you.
His left hand on your waist.
His right arm at your side, brushing up against yours, shielding you from view.
Your chests almost touching each other.
Your hands on his shoulders, even though you have no idea how they ended up there. The urge to bring him even closer to you, practically irresistible.
You look up to find that his green gaze is already on you. Up this close you notice that there is a slight shade of aquamarine blue in them.
You feel lightheaded and dizzy but in the best of ways. It’s like you’re drunk, even though you have never actually drunk enough to feel like this.
You realize then that you’re drunk on him. You want to drown in him.
Then the scent of his cologne reaches you and you know that you’re intoxicated with this man in front of you.
And the best part is that he seems just as intoxicated with you.
You don’t know how you two get even closer but then his nose is brushing up against yours, your breaths mixing together.
He’s leaning a bit over you so maybe you should feel a bit crowded but you don’t.
You feel safe.
The safest that you have ever been. And the thing is that it doesn't even surprise you. Everything feels easy and safe and warm with him.
Like nothing could ever happen to you with him by your side.
And you’re absolutely addicted to the feeling.
Jason is breathless, as if he has just run a marathon. His breathing as heavy as yours.
Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest with how fast it’s going, thrill and anticipation pumping through your veins instead of blood.
Your gaze drops and you suck in a breath when he wets his lips.
Your own tongue darts out to mimic his movement on your own, when you realize that they’re already wet and that he was the one mirroring your previous action.
Your eyes go back up to his and notice that his pupils are dilated. You can’t help but think that yours look probably the same.
It seems like he’s asking a question with that mesmerizing gaze of his and your throat feels dry, as if you haven’t been able to drink water in days and the only person that can alleviate it is Jason Todd.
His gaze flits to your lips once again and returns to your eyes just as fast and they seem to be pleading you.
You can feel yourself nodding almost imperceptibly.
You’re not sure you have wanted anything more in your life. Your stomach flips.
You close your eyes, feeling the ghost of his lips on yours.
And then-
“Got you!” Lily’s voice rings out, like shattering glass, breaking the spell and bursting the perfect bubble that you two were in, before your lips are able to make any real contact.
And just like that, you deflate like an old balloon forgotten by a kid in a fair.
You have never been more frustrated in your entire life.
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to regain your senses, letting your pounding heart beat out the drug that the proximity to Jason Todd is, in order to come back to reality.
When you finally open your eyes, Jason looks just as frustrated and disappointed as you.
Your faces part, putting distance once again between them though your hands remain on his shoulders and his remain on your waist. Part of yourselves still refusing to let go of what had been about to happen, both of your breathings still heavy and deep.
“Come on, it’s your turn now!” Lily exclaims impatiently. She’s too excited about being able to hide now to really notice what was going on between you two.
“We-” Jason stops at how hoarse his voice is and clears his throat. “We’ll be right there.” He finally continues, though his gaze is still fixed on you.
“Great!” Lily chirps and she leaves the way she came, Batbear like always, tight in her grip.
You watch her go and when you look back up at Jason both of you have shy and embarrassed smiles. Sad for the moment that has left and unsure of how to proceed now.
You both suppose that keeping things how they are is the best course of action so very slowly and very reluctantly your hands leave each other. Not sure what to do with them now, since they still feel like magnets being pulled towards each other, Jason runs his hands through his hair and you fix your already perfectly placed clothes.
But as you two make your way towards the center of the playground, you both are hopeful that the moment will come again.
The road might have a few bumps on the way but it still goes on.
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Jason didn’t know how it had gotten so late. He had meant to stop by the bookshop earlier and hopefully, after you closed, go grab dinner with you, as you two sometimes did now. But he had got caught up with patrol stuff with Bruce and now he would be lucky if he managed to catch you before you left.
Thankfully, he’s able to reach the bookshop twenty minutes before you close. But when he enters, you are nowhere to be seen. 
Rose and Jimmy are behind the counter, chattering between them and just like every time that he went into the bookshop and you weren’t there, he felt his whole body deflate. The idea of seeing you always being his driving force.
But just like that other time when he entered knowing that you worked that day but Rose had greeted him, worry begins to settle in him. Had something happened that had made you change your shift? Were you sick?
“Hello, Jason!” Jimmy says when he and Rose notice him.
“Good evening, dear.” Greets Rose.
“Hello. Sorry, didn’t mean to bother, I know you’re about to close.”
“It’s okay, you’re always welcomed.” Jimmy answers.
“It’ll be quick. I just wanted to see if Y/N was here, I-”
“Does this look right, Rose? I feel like-” You say, emerging from the bathroom but then you freeze in your step when you spot him. “Oh, hi, Jason.”
But Jason is unable to answer, in fact, he’s pretty sure that he has forgotten how to breathe because he’s stunned looking at you.
You’re wearing a very nice dress that you must have changed into in the bathroom, and it’s clear that you’ve dressed up for something.
You look beautiful.
You always do but Jason has never seen you so formal and it stirs up something in him. For a second, he can imagine that he’s come to pick you up for a date.
But the joy of seeing you doesn’t last long as he feels his throat dry and he swears that he can feel sweat begin to form at the back of his neck and run down his back. It takes him a second to understand those symptoms and the unsettling feeling in his stomach.
Dread. Panic.
Because what if you actually do have a date?
Had he waited too long? Neither of you were any experts on relationships but it really felt like you two were working towards something. But what if it was too late now? What if he had let time drag on too much and now he was forever stuck in some kind of friend stage? Just like when he didn’t tell you about why he checked out so many children’s books and then it had passed so much time that it became awkward for him to do so.
His mind is in a spiral now, racing with thoughts. In one of your many conversations and hangouts after the very first reading with the kids and the diner, you both had mentioned that neither of you were seeing anybody. It was an off comment, something that you tell a friend without thinking too much about the implications of it.
But the idea hung in the air. The idea that the persons that you two were seeing were each other.
But still, neither of you had said that out loud.
And the thing was that you two weren’t just friends. Or at least that’s what Jason felt like and he thought that you probably thought the same. You two had a connection there and you were heading towards being something else. Slowly but steadily and surely, you were building something.
Right?
Suddenly, he finds himself revisiting every interaction that the two of you have ever had. Every longing look, every soft touch and that oh so wonderful moment while playing hide and seek where you two had almost kissed.
He couldn’t have possibly imagined all of that on his own, could he?
If he thought that the memory of holding your hand while he helped you down the ladder that one time had been haunting, it was nothing compared to that moment.
That moment that had plagued his mind every damn day since.
Everything about it, how you had looked at him, the smell of your hair, your hands on his shoulders, your slightly parted lips, added to everything about you from the very first time he met you, like your smile or the soft tone of your voice, creeping onto his skin and taking a resident place there. Like ivy, carving marks into him, down his arms and up his back, clasping and biting into him, leaving him red and scarred forever.
The difference of those imprints with the scars that he had gained over the years of crime-fighting and suffering was that they didn’t hurt nor weighed him down. Instead, they lifted him up, invigorated him and softly caressed his skin, like your hands taking care of his wounds, reassuring him that everything would be okay. That with you, everything will always be okay. They showed how much someone cared about him and valued him.
The difference being that he would wear your marks proudly. 
And Jason finally decides that he doesn’t want to walk on the tightrope anymore. He wants to let go and fall into the void, take a leap of faith and come clean to you. Tell you that he’s in love with you and that he wants to be yours.
He can only hope that you may lay a safety net beneath him to fall into.
And if he’s not that lucky, he would have another invisible scar added to him, from both crashing into the ground and from having at least tried. And even though that one would hurt, more deeply and a lot longer than any physical one that he may have, you would have given it to him, and he would welcome anything that came from you with open arms.
He doesn’t know how he’s going to do all of that but what he does know is that before anything, he wants to be honest with you. Tell you about being Red Hood. You deserve to know what you’re going to get into (if you even decide that you want to), before you two delve into something deeper.
The only thing is that you two are already there. Too far gone for each other, even though Jason doesn’t know that you are. The one thing that he is certain about is that when he tells you, it will change the foundations of the road that you have been building together.
What Jason isn’t so sure of is if it will destroy them, or make them even stronger.
But something that he does know, is that right now is not the moment for any of that.
So, for the time being, he settles with greeting you back and eventually saying:
“You look… You look great.” Even though that is an understatement.
You smile and shyly look down, your fingers playing with the skirt of your dress.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He says, and while you two are busy looking at each other, you both miss Rose and Jimmy’s knowing looks and smiles. And before he can help it, he’s opening his mouth again. “So, uhm, do you have a date or something?” He tries to say nonchalantly, not wanting to sound too obtrusive, but the doubt killing him.
Your eyes widen and you chuckle, shaking your head.
“What? God no, just fancy family dinner. It’s my parents' anniversary. Since they’re visiting they decided to celebrate together.” You explain, and Jason can feel a wash of relief going over him, his racing heart calming down.
He hasn’t lost his chance.
“Oh, that’s nice. Congrats.”
You nod and grab your things, getting ready to leave before turning to Jimmy and Rose.
“Thanks again for letting me go early.”
“Of course, dear. And don’t worry about the dress, it looks perfect. You look lovely.”
“No problem, sweetie.” Jimmy adds before complimenting you too.
You kiss the couple’s cheeks in thanks before bidding them goodbye, Jason copying your words before opening the door for you.
As you two leave, you see Jimmy whisper something into Rose’s ear while putting an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him. She chuckles and she kisses his cheek and Jimmy kisses her forehead in return.
Jason smiles at the fond interaction.
“They’re lovely, aren’t they?” You say, still looking at the couple.
“They are.” Jason says, already looking at you. You’re lovely too. “You’re going to the restaurant with your family now?”
“Yeah, I didn’t have enough time to spare after the shift to go back home so I had to change in the bookshop. My parents lend me their car in order to make it.”
Jason nods, trying not to look too disappointed at the fact that he can’t even offer to drive you there, and a comfortable silence settles between you, neither of you wanting to part ways yet.
But you have to go if you don’t want to be late so you sigh before speaking once again.
“I have to go.”
“Yeah.” Jason says, hands in his pockets. “See you soon then.”
“Bye.” You say and you haven’t taken two steps before Jason calls your name. You turn.
“You look very beautiful.” He can’t help but compliment you again.
You feel your whole face heat up.
“Thanks.”
You think about him the whole way to the restaurant but then again, when aren’t you not thinking about Jason Todd?
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Jason has never been more scared in his life. Well, maybe he had, when he was in that damned warehouse. And then later, when he woke up after that without being able to recall who he was or where he was.
But this other type of fear... It's almost paralyzing, threathening to swallow him whole.
He runs as fast as he can, taking long strides, his rugged breathing making him have tunnel vision and only allowing him to focus on one thing.
You.
He hadn’t liked how close the situation had been to the bookshop from the very first moment that they had received the alert. Worry tight in his throat since he had always hoped not to ever have this kind of situation this close to you.
The bookshop’s neighborhood had always been one of the safest in Gotham, there were certain minor crimes, yes, which part of the city didn’t have them? But none of the rogues had ever attacked there.
You had once joked that you thought that the reason for it might be that some of the villains had family living there. You once even said that you could have sworn to have seen the Penguin accompanying an old lady that might have been his mother crossing the street.
Yet still, now an ACE Chemicals truck had been assaulted by Scarecrow and his henchmen. The truck wasn’t even supposed to be in the neighborhood in the first place, but the company and the police had received some information that an attack was being planned and they had decided to detour it.
And now you were in danger.
Jason keeps running with his hands clenched into fists that were turning tighter and tighter by the second.
He can feel sweat gathering on his forehead and he can almost hear a ticking clock hanging over his head as he puts some distance between him and the sickeningly looking mist of muddy green gas that had exploded in the truck.
The very same gas that was quickly spreading along the streets and that would reach the bookshop in a matter of minutes.
The first ones to arrive at the scene had been him and Tim, trying to control the situation until backup could arrive.
Scarecrow’s men were taking over the truck and before leaping into action, Jason threw Tim a look that even with the helmet on, Tim could perfectly understand.
If anything starts going sideways, I’m out of here. Going to her.
Going to you.
Tim was also aware of the fact of how close it all was to the bookshop and he just nodded, knowing how much you mattered to Jason.
They had been able to control the situation more or less as more and more police cars gathered around the truck. But then Scarecrow had finally made his appearance and everything derailed. At first, it seemed like they just wanted to steal from the truck but then something happened and the truck exploded.
Between the chemicals from inside the truck and whatever other things the villain and his gang always brought with them, the gas set off along with the explosion.
Scarecrow and his men scurried off immediately after, giving the feeling that that had certainly not been their desired outcome.
But the gas started spreading and they had no idea what chemicals were inside the truck or what the effects of it could be, but Jason wasn’t going to risk it.
And so, he took a quick glance at Tim, who already had his gas mask on, helping people on the street, and returning his gaze, Tim just nodded.
Go. We handle this here.
And with that, Jason set off.
The bookshop wasn’t actually that far away, just a few blocks, but Jason feels like he’s doing the longest run of his life and that time itself is slowing him down. He has also tried calling you but the line was already overloaded with all the emergency calls.
As he runs, he can hear through his intercom Tim and Steph shouting instructions to everyone nearby and Barbara guiding Bruce to track down Scarecrow.
His heart’s racing and when he finally catches sight of the bookshop, he feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest.
The sound of the door slamming open startles you in your place behind the counter. You turn your head to tell the person that had entered to mind their manners when you are met with a red stare that you had only seen in blurry pictures on the news and heard rumors about.
You take in a sharp breath as Red Hood closes the door and approaches you in quick strides. You freeze in your place, not because you are scared of him but because of the surprise of it. Especially when you look him over and your gaze can’t tear away from the brown leather jacket that felt so familiar to you.
Red Hood grabs your wrist, bringing you with him hurriedly into the break room. And though his grip is strong, you’re surprised to find that it doesn’t hurt at all. You can hear him talking and you know that his presence here can’t mean anything good, though not for you of course, you know that Red Hood wouldn’t hurt you, he didn’t hurt innocent people, but something must have happened.
However, you can’t seem to register any of his words, it’s like he’s saying something but you’re underwater, his words sounding muffled and jammed together.
Because for some strange reason you’re still fixated on his jacket.
He sets you down on the floor next to the sofa in the break room and crouches down in front of you. And then he does something that makes your brows furrow in confusion.
He calls you by your name.
How does he even know your name?
You want to ask him but everything feels so confusing right now, like a tornado spinning around you. You only manage to utter a weak “What…?”, before you can’t help it and your hands, with a life of their own, run over his arms, feeling the fabric of the jacket until they reach the lapels and grip them.
Your heart was already racing and your breathing labored from the whole situation but it seemed like they hadn’t reached their limit yet. Though you feel like they are surely about to do so. You can feel your heart go even faster as your mind begins spiraling with thoughts and you suck in a breath when the realization hits you.
Because this… This piece of clothing so characteristic of the vigilante in front of you, you had spent an awful lot of time staring and gawking over the man that wore it several times in your bookshop.
Because this… This is the very same fabric that your hands had touched while you had been inches away from kissing that very same man in an alley while you were playing hide and seek.
Because now that you were able to see it up close, you instantly recognize it.
How could you not? When you had spent so much time with its owner, laughing while you two ate lunch; admiring him when he found an interesting book on the bookshelves; feeling understood when you shared your worries with him; taking the opportunity to touch his arm anytime that you could, covered in this very same jacket, one of the few of this type that he owned; hoping that if you were to tell him how you feel, he would feel the same way; and wishing that you could kiss him without having to worry about the consequences?
Because this jacket belongs to the man that you’re in love with.
Because this jacket… This jacket belongs to Jason Todd.
And then everything clicks, how he works nights, the wounds on his knuckles, his occasional and strange run offs. Suddenly it all feels so blatantly obvious that you wonder how you didn’t see it before.
You know in your gut what it means but your brain is still catching up with everything going on around you to fully make sense of what your heart already knows.
For a quick second, the thought that maybe he shouldn’t wear the same jacket while patrolling and during his day to day, makes you want to start laughing. Though it’s true that unless you saw it more than once, several times and very close, no one would realize that they were the same jacket. But the reality of the situation around you helps you to rein in the inappropriate laugh.
And then your name being called again finally breaks you out of your thoughts, and the only thing that you can focus on is him.
Jason’s gripping your shoulders now, willing you to focus on him and needing to have some kind of contact with you to make sure that you’re okay. He moves frantically, his eyes quickly checking the front door of the bookshop through one of the break room’s windows that look into the main part of the shop, already seeing the mist of gas slipping under it, trying to calculate how much time he has left.
He’s been asking you if you’re okay and trying to explain what has happened but the sentences come out stumbled, his brain going faster than what his mouth can follow.
In his haste he doesn’t even register the change in the look of your eyes at your realization.
He knows what he has to do but he’s afraid of what it will entail. He wanted to sit down with you, tell you about being Red Hood and explain everything to you. He wanted to be hopeful that you may understand but now he doesn’t have the chance to let you know how he would have wanted to.
It feels like someone has pushed him from the tightrope beneath him, directly cutting it, or rather, that it has snapped over his own weight, not able to hold him and his secrets anymore, and now he’s falling and he can’t do anything about it.
And if you would have ever laid a net beneath him, he’s sure that you would cut a hole open in it now.
He’s about to break everything that you two have been working towards, a shattering earthquake destroying what once was a strong and beautiful road.
But it’s the only way to keep you safe.
And he would cut the rope sustaining him himself and willingly fall into the abyss if he had to to make sure that you’re safe. That’s the only thing that matters to him right now.
And that’s exactly what he does.
You watch perplexed as Red Hood takes the helmet off and you’re met with the sharp features and white streak that you love so much.
It really is him.
He’s Red Hood.
Jason is Red Hood.
Jason, who always seemed to be checking out children’s books, wearing leather jackets and making you smile like no one has ever done before.
Your Jason.
Out of the corner of your eye you see a weird mist start to seep through under the door to the break room that Red Hood- no, Jason, had closed after you two entered.
“Jason?” You whisper. He lifts his head up from where he’s been fidgeting with the helmet since he took it off to meet your gaze, and the broken look in his eyes makes your heart feel like it has been stabbed. “What’s going on?” He follows your line of sight and his eyes grow with worry.
“Scarecrow.” He mutters while turning back to the helmet, he pushes a few hidden buttons in it and you’re surprised to see how its panels shift, changing its shape slightly but still having a head-like form.
And then Jason turns to you, his hands lifting with the helmet towards your head.
Your face contorts with horror when you realize what he wants to do.
You immediately grab his forearms, pushing them down and therefore, the helmet too.
“What are you doing?” You say.
“I have to protect you. And we don’t know what the gas does yet so I’m not taking any risks.” He pushes the helmet towards your head once again but you repeat your previous action, preventing him from doing so.
“And you? What about you?” You ask desperately, the gas coming closer and closer towards you both.
Jason’s lips pull into a sad smile. “I’ll be fine.” He whispers. It’s like he has already resigned himself to something. You shake your head.
“No. I’m not taking it.”
“I have a spare small mask, don’t worry.”
You’re still so in shock from everything that you don’t realize that he’s lying, yet in the pit of your stomach you can already feel a pool of dread forming.
“But-” You start but he cuts you off.
“Y/N, listen to me. We don’t have much time. Do you trust me?”
Even with everything that has just happened, you don’t hesitate.
“Always.”
Jason nods and puts the red helmet over your head, the shifted panels allowing it to fit your head perfectly. Jason sighs with relief and looks at you fondly, his hands still on either side of your head.
Your hands come up to cover his own and he nods reassuringly. “You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.
Everything is going to be okay.
But then Jason starts coughing.
The gas has already reached you both and gathers at your ankles.
Your eyes widen and you reach for him as his hands let go of your head to support himself when he begins lulling to one side. “Jason!” You shout.
You can see his eyes losing focus, starting to get dizzy. While your breathing keeps coming in deep and clean thanks to the regulator built in the helmet, Jason seems to be gasping for air, like he isn’t getting enough oxygen or like his lungs are refusing what’s going in them.
And you finally realize that there never was a spare mask.
How could you have been so foolish?
You try to take the helmet off to give it back to him but it’s like it’s closed off. You press the buttons that you find on the underside at the back but nothing happens. You try everything but it just won’t come off.
Nothing.
You can’t take it off.
He must have locked it somehow, almost as if he knew what you would try to do.
You can’t protect him.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” A cough. “ I swear I wanted to tell you.” Another one. “ I was going to.” He says between short breaths before finally collapsing onto the floor.
You grab him before his head hits the ground and you hush him gently.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Now it’s you the one holding the sides of his face softly.
One of his hands comes up to hold one of your own, and you can’t stand the look of utter adoration and affection with which he gazes at you.
Because you can’t help him.
And his look is as if he would be content to go this way, knowing that at least you’re safe.
And your heart breaks all over again.
The room is covered in gas now and it’s not until your vision becomes slightly blurry that you register the tears welling up in your eyes.
You cry for help but there’s nothing that can be done now. You also try calling 911, not caring what will happen if someone sees that he’s Red Hood. You just need him to be safe. But the line doesn't work. Jason begins to close his eyes.
“Hey, hey, no.” You urge. “Stay with me, stay with me.” Jason opens his eyes once more, fighting to stay awake, but you can see in them how he’s almost gone, his consciousness slipping away from him.
“Please.” You whisper, fighting the tears.
And then his hand holding yours falls limp.
And with it, your heart does too.
You shake him, call him, scream at him to wake up but it’s no use. Tears run down your cheeks now, raked sobs breaking though your chest.
You even try to take off the helmet again but of course, nothing happens.
You feel for his heartbeat, it takes you an agonizing second to feel it but it's there.
Weak and slow, barely perceptible, but it’s there.
Although you fear that probably not for much longer.
Fear and dread run through you, you don’t know how to fix this. You don’t want to let him go but he’s being pulled away from you.
And then the door to the break room bursts open.
You look up and there Red Robin stands.
And the way in which he shakes his hair away from his eyes with a movement of his head while looking around the room frantically, trying to locate you through the mist, makes your breath hitch in realization for the second time in the last few minutes.
Tim.
Then he notices Jason’s unconscious body in your arms and when his gaze meets yours, even with the helmet on he knows what you want to say.
Save him.
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Your shifts at the bookstore have never felt longer. You had become so used to him and come to rely on his visits so much that now, without him, they only drag on and on and on, something that had never even happened before.
Even before him.
Your only solace being that he’s alive.
You often have to remind yourself of that fact when the memory of the fear of losing him claws back at you.
Jason is alive. He is okay.
After Tim found you two, he launched towards Jason, checking his vitals and addressing his state.
He told you that he needed to bring Jason to the batcave as soon as possible and you had immediately grabbed Jason’s hand, refusing to let go of him and profusely saying that you were going with him.
But Tim had only shook his head, explaining how Jason would kill him if he ever allowed you to not go to the hospital for a check up.
But you had fought him with tooth and nails, saying that you weren’t leaving his side anytime soon and Tim had no other option but to give up.
However, just as Tim was calling for Steph to come and help him with Jason quickly, you passed out.
Whether because of all the emotions and stress of those five minutes (because yes, since Jason first entered into the bookshop to protect you, it had only been five minutes, maybe even less), or because due to the shifted panels in the helmet, some gas had managed to slip in, you didn’t know.
Probably more the later than the former but still.
Next thing you knew, you woke up in the hospital. Thankfully without the helmet, Tim having probably managed to unlock it.
Through the doctors, nurses, and the news on the TV in the ER, you learned that the gas was dangerous but thankfully non-lethal. In most cases, like yours, people in the neighborhood who had only inhaled a bit just felt dizzy for a few hours or passed out for a bit.
In other cases, the most serious ones, like Jason’s, people were put into a coma-like state, with the lungs rendered to a point of near-exhaustion. But with good rest and the appropriate care, they would recover soon with no side effects.
Batman had managed to apprehend Scarecrow and just like the vigilantes had suspected from the beginning, it wasn’t a deliberate attack but a robbery gone wrong.
They let you go of the hospital that very same afternoon, with instructions that if you felt any kind of dizziness to come back. After your family (and Rose and Jimmy of course) checked in with you, you were finally able to grab a hold of your phone that had been left in the bookshop.
You were met with a text from Tim, how he had managed to get your number, you didn’t know, but it probably had something to do with the fact that all the Waynes were part of the Batfamily.
Or at least, that’s what you figured, once you were finally able to think with a clear head and digest all of your recent discoveries.
The text said that Jason had made it to the batcave safely, that he had been treated immediately and that he was resting now.
You have never been more grateful for anything in your life.
But that had been a week and a half ago. And you hadn’t seen Jason since.
You felt like a part of you had been ripped out and taken along with him. The absence of a vital organ leaving you empty.
Probably your heart, since it had left your chest and leaped itself into Jason’s hands a long time ago.
The neighborhood had been deemed safe after the gas dissipated and you were back to your job like nothing had ever happened, just like how it often was after any incident with a rogue in Gotham.
Life just went on. Gotham and its residents as resilient as ever. The fight and survival etched onto their DNA.
If there ever was something to admire Gotham for, its survival skills were definitely it.
You had wanted to see Jason immediately, and you had even called Tim so that he could tell you more about Jason’s state and tried to see when you could go see him but then your mother had called.
Your uncle had had an accident at work and he would need surgery.
Though there was some risk, it wasn’t a extremely dangerous procedure. But if there was something that all of your family had in common and that was characteristic of all of you, was that if something happened to someone, every single member of the family would come running to be there.
And you knew that you had to be there, you wanted to be there, but it still tore at your insides having had to leave without having being able to see Jason. But your uncle lived on the other side of the country and you had to take a plane that very same night to be able to arrive before the surgery the next day.
So, you had called Tim back, telling him that you had to leave, how bad you felt, how sorry you were and that you would try to come back as soon as possible. But Tim assured you that it was okay, that they would all take care of Jason, that it would take him a couple of days to wake up and be fully conscious and that he understood (and that Jason would too) that you had to go.
You nodded, trying to hold back tears and muff your sniffling due to all the stress that had taken a hold of you due to all the recent events. Tim had calmed you down and promised you to keep you updated. Helping you just like you had done when you met him.
Thank god for Tim Drake. You’re pretty sure that you would have lost it if it weren’t because of him. His reassurance a sign of a friendship for a lifetime.
And so, you left. Everything went well with your uncle and you were glad to have been able to see your family for a few days since quite a long time ago.
But when you came back, Jason wouldn’t see you.
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It took Jason two days to wake up from the coma-like state, though he had been getting better and better with each passing hour, and a full day of only eating and sleeping before he was able to return to normalcy.
Still, when he first woke up, the only thing in his foggy brain was you. He asked about you as soon as he opened his eyes and Tim told him that you were okay but that you had to leave for a few days due to a family emergency, and that you had called every day several times to check in.
Jason let out a sigh of relief. Both because you were safe and because he didn’t know how he would have faced you if you had been there.
He was sure that you hated him now. Despised him. Sure, you had called to see how he was, but that’s just how you were, caring and protective. But deep down, he knew that you had to resent him for having hidden being Red Hood from you.
He was sure that if he saw you, the first thing that you would do was scream at him and tell him that you didn’t want him in your life anymore.
And he wouldn’t be able to bear that.
He didn’t know how he could ever go back to a life without you.
That’s why he refused to see you everytime that you reached out after you came back. Letting his phone ring out when you called, later just sending a quick text saying that he was fine, that he was just busy with some things in order to not worry you. He knew that it was unfair and that he was being an idiot but he didn’t know what he would do if he saw you, even though he knew that he eventually would have to.
And yet, despite all of that, he still couldn’t bring himself to fully cut ties with you. He simply couldn’t. Needing you at least in some way in his life just as much as he needed air. As well as the fact that he knew that he couldn't do something like that to you, at least not without explaining.
It wasn’t until Tim cornered him and talked some sense into him that he realized that he couldn’t put it off any longer. 
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When Jason enters the bookshop, a chill runs through him as he shakes the drops of water from his hair. He had dreaded every single step that he took towards the bookshop, a cloud of shame hanging over his head. And then the universe had decided that he wasn’t miserable enough and so that cloud of shame had quite literally started to pour on him. He couldn’t help but think that he deserved it but still, it sucked.
He usually liked rain. Just not when he didn’t have an umbrella and was tethering on the edge of sanity while trying to hold the composure that he had created to give him the strength necessary to face you. And certainly not when he was holding a hot chocolate that he had bought for you; having already lost count of how many times he had previously done so when he came to visit you, in a sad attempt at a peace offering, even though he was sure that you would dump it on him; but that now surely was just cold chocolate.
Shit. He really was going to look like even more of an idiot than he already was.
“Jason?” Your soft voice comes through, like an antidote calming him instantly and soothing all his worries. Your presence, like always, making all of his dark thoughts go away.
Though that peace didn’t last long because you were here now and he couldn’t run now. He had to do what he had come to do.
Even though he still wasn’t sure what exactly that was, no matter how much he had tried to prepare himself. Had he come to apologize? Explain? Beg for your forgiveness? He had no idea.
It didn’t matter anymore because as usual, all his thoughts and working brain cells flew out of the window when he was near you. This time even more so than usual since he had never gone this long without seeing you. He just stands there, soaked from the rain on the entrance doormat, like a wet cat begging to be let home again after causing trouble and running out.
And you’re just standing there, in the doorway of the break room, looking at him like you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, as if he was some mythological creature and you didn’t dare to move an inch, either in order not to scare him away or because you were petrified in fear, Jason didn’t know.
And he’s just rendered speechless. His breath taken away from him as he takes you in for what possibly is the last time, trying to commit every part of your beautiful self to memory, all of those parts that he already knows by heart, before you kick him out of the bookshop and out of your life forever.
“Yeah.” He finally responds.
Great, Jason. Very eloquent.
No turning back now.
He gulps.
“Hi.” He adds, trying to act with normalcy but he winces when he realizes that it doesn’t match the situation at all. There really is no way of making this any easier, is there?
He expects you to start yelling at him, push him, anything. But you just keep staring at him. And then:
“God, you’re drenched. Wait here.” You disappear for a second and Jason can’t believe what has just happened, a bewildered look in his eyes. He expected anything but that. But he obeys, doing whatever you asked of him in his very nature, trying to move as little as possible so that he would only drop water onto the doormat. You return quickly and hand him a towel after taking the hot (cold) chocolate from his hands so that he can dry up a bit. 
You put the cup onto the counter as he shakes his boots on the mat, dries his face and ruffles the towel through his hair. When he finishes you approach him once again.
“Here, let me take your jacket. You're going to freeze.” Jason feels like he’s on autopilot as he follows your every direction, like a sailor the call of a siren. Not daring to move a single muscle or do any abrupt movement other than what’s necessary, afraid of breaking whatever is happening right now.
You hang his jacket on the coat rack by the door to dry a bit and then you turn back to him.
There’s a moment of silence, the only noise being the rain’s soft pattering against the windows, the dark clouds filtering the setting sun, casting the bookstore in a gloomy atmosphere though the place still maintains its warm glow from the few lamps turned on with a yellow and orange glow.
The place is quiet, not a single soul in the bookshop except you two. Jason made sure of coming around closing time so that you could be alone, without any other customers interrupting and, even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, the small hope of finding the bookshop closed and therefore having the perfect excuse to delay this another day.
But of course, the universe wasn’t going to have it. He never was that lucky.
Jason is so stupefied that he doesn’t move from the doormat as you take a couple of steps closer to him and look him over. Assessing him. Studying him. He avoids your gaze, not knowing what to do under your scrutiny.
He might as well be a cactus now with how rooted he is to the goddamn doormat. And then he sees how your feet join his on it and he can’t help the chill that runs through him once again, but not from the cold this time, but from your intoxicating proximity, so reminiscent of the one from the ghost kiss in the alley.
This is it, he thinks. This is when you finally push him from your life forever.
But then you surprise him once again, when without any trace of hesitation nor fear you touch his face. Sofly cradling it as if you might still care about him.
He doesn’t understand anything that’s going on right now. He has never been more confused in his entire life.
After so many months, Jason had come to know you in such a way, so intricately well, that he could read you like a book. Just like you with him. But now, Jason is seriously questioning that because he has no idea what is going through your mind right now.
He finally gathers the courage to look at you, still afraid of what he’s going to find, but you’re not even looking at him.
Your gaze is fixated upon the small cut at the end of his left eyebrow.
A reminder of the Red Hood duty from the night before. How he had managed to get a wound there even with the helmet on, he had no idea.
He sees your eyebrows furrow and your expression change to one of worry.
And then your hands run down his sides until they take a hold of his, inspecting them over after taking the towel from them.
And you sigh, disappointed in finding what you hoped not to be there. The skin on his knuckles broken once again.
Jason feels like a stranded boat, lost at sea, the water around him lulling him to its will.
That’s you.
The rain continues on as you turn slightly and flip the sign of the bookshop to closed before locking the door.
As a lightning strikes in the distance, flashing momentaneous light into the bookshop and illuminating your soft features, you take Jason’s hand and just like several times before, you drag him to the break room, but this time, instead of on a chair by the table, you sit him down on the sofa.
And he lets you. He gladly lets the sea take his boat wherever it wants to. Even if it’s to his own demise.
You take the blanket resting on the arm of the couch and drape it over him, making sure that it stays on his shoulders before you take the towel back to the bathroom and for the third time, you grab the first aid kit there.
You return to the break room and not even your shuffling steps make his lost gaze go towards you.
Despite his big frame you had never seen him so small, curled onto himself, head hung in shame; and it makes your heart clench. He looks deep in thought, grabbing the edges of the blanket so that it stays wrapped around him, as if he’s contemplating how to say whatever he has come to say to you.
But you don’t care. He could stay quiet the whole time if he wanted to.
Because at least he was here.
And honestly, your first instinct at seeing him back in the bookshop had been to run to him and hug him like your life depended on it and never let him go. But you had ultimately decided against it, not wanting to scare him away.
His presence there still felt almost like a mirage to you, after having gone so long without seeing him for the first time ever since you met him.
So, it was a very welcomed step from just sending you short texts letting you know he was still alive and well.
And you couldn’t blame him. Like always, you two worked by taking your own time, giving each other space.
And you knew that Jason had a lot on his mind after the gas incident. In the chaos of it all, he had told you that he had wanted to tell you about being Red Hood before and you wholeheartedly believed him, knowing that it wasn’t something that you could just tell anyone at any given moment. And now he had to deal with the reality that now you knew about that part of his life.
And you had a feeling that he thought that you would push him away for it. Resent him. When it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Because now you saw the whole picture that Jason Todd was.
And you know what?
He still was your Jason.
He still was the man that you were in love with.
Someone to whom you felt connected in a way that you had never felt before. Someone that was your friend and that always managed to make you smile. Someone that was always there for you when you had a bad day. Someone that reads to kids in his free time. Someone that tries to make this city better and protects its people as a vigilante. Someone who goes out of his way to visit you, a completely normal and ordinary woman who runs a simple bookshop. Someone that didn’t hesitate in sacrificing his own safety for yours.
Yeah, you were still very much in love with that man.
And if he needed some time to come back to you, that was fine with you because you knew that he wouldn’t just leave you like that. During the last few days you could even have sworn to have seen him peering through the windows into the bookshop in passing, but when you focused a bit more, he was gone. Or at least that’s what you hoped, the string pulling you two together too strong. 
No matter how much it had pained you to have the person holding your heart keeping you at arm’s length.
Because a day or two more of waiting and you would have stormed into wherever Jason was and told him how much he meant to you until that stubborn head of his realized how you weren’t ever letting him go.
You also hoped that he didn’t resent you, for not having been able to be at his side when he woke up. Something that you will never forgive yourself for, no matter how you knew that it couldn’t have been any other way.
You sit down next to him and place the first aid kit on the coffee table in front of the sofa, getting all that you will need to heal his wounds ready. You take one more look at them and your heart clenches.
You don’t like how he doesn’t seem to take full care of himself.
Because to you, Jason Todd was a treasure. A treasure that you will never be sure how you had managed to be able to find.
And he should be treated just like one.
And that’s exactly what you intend to do.
You follow the same process as the last time to take care of his knuckles, Jason quiet and avoiding your gaze the whole time, before moving onto the cut on his brow.
You raise your hand with a cotton patch to put some antiseptic on it and your eyes finally meet his. The green in them, like always, lighting up your insides, a forest in which you would gladly get lost in.
Jason looks at you as one of your hands takes a hold of his chin to tilt his head while the other one begins treating the cut.
And Jason feels like dying when he sees the flash of pain that crosses your eyes because he knows that he’s the one who put it there.
From the very first time that you healed him, he could see how you didn’t like seeing him hurt. Yet he still had let you see his wounds and tend to them more times after that.
He really usually does tend to his wounds. Except that very first time with his knuckles that he had been so tired he had only cleaned them. But after feeling your soft hands taking care of him for the first time, it was like he didn’t want his wounds healed anymore unless it was you the one who did it.
And so, subconsciously, selfishly and guiltily, he barely tended to them, just what was strictly necessary, a desperate attempt and blind hope of you maybe wanting to heal him in order to feel your delicate touch, that Jason was sure did a lot more for his wounds than whatever any kind of medicine could do.
Your touch not only mending his wounds but also healing his soul and soothing all the bad thoughts in his mind.
But right now, Jason wants nothing more than to get on his knees and do whatever you ask of him. Anything to make the slight hurt that briefly passes your eyes go away. Beg if it's necessary.
He thinks that apologizing may be a good starting point.
“Y/N…” He begins but before he can go on any further you hush him, almost like you want to enjoy the silence and this moment of intimacy as much as possible.
Then you reach for the first aid kit again, taking a steri-strip from a pack that you had bought, along with some other extra items, knowing that the basics of a normal first aid weren’t going to be enough now that you knew that he was Red Hood.
You put it on the cut, careful of not hurting him. Jason watches you mesmerized, still not believing that you haven’t kicked him out yet.
Then, you take a normal band-aid to put over the strip, just to be extra safe but mainly because you want to see him smile.
“Is that a Hello Kitty band-aid?” He asks in disbelief, breaking the silence, as he watches you open the band-aid with the pink, red and white doodles.
“Yup.” You say as you put it, covering the cut and fully hiding it from view, Jason not putting any kind of resistance to it. And your heart clenches blissfully at the small smile that pulls at Jason’s lips. Oh, how much you had missed it, your own personal kind of drug. And you can’t help but mirror him too.
“Thanks.” He whispers once you’re done patching him up. You give a slight nod in return.
You pass your thumb softly over the band-aid to make sure that it doesn’t fall off and then you meet Jason’s eyes again, that look just like a kicked puppy’s. Shining with oncoming tears and wide in fear of what is going to come next.
“I owe you an explanation.” He finally says with a sigh of resignation and you shake your head.
“Jason, you don’t-”
“No, let me do this. I need to do this. It’s the least I can do, I owe it to you.” He says, taking your hands in his, one of which still was caressing his eyebrow and stares at them as he can’t help but begin to rub soft circles into the back of them.
Goosebumps raise all over your skin.
Jason takes a deep breath before he starts talking. It seemed like you still cared about him but would you still do so once he finally explained everything and told you the truth?
He didn’t want to get his hopes up. But he knows that he can’t delay this anymore. He doesn’t want to.
As he begins, a cracking thunder sounds in the distance, shaking the foundations of the road that you two have been building together to its core.
The question being, would it stand the storm?
You listen to him intently. He doesn’t look at you once, instead deciding to focus on your joined hands. Grabbing onto a last part of you before he lets you go forever.
“And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I totally understand that you may not want to see me anymore. I betrayed your trust and that’s unforgivable. Some of the things that I’ve done…” He shakes his head. “I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Please know that. You mean so much to me. And even though it breaks me having to remove myself from your life, I know that it’s for the best.”
“Jason, I-”
“No, no. Let me finish please.” He continues ranting. “I promise you that I won’t let the feelings that I have for you get in the way. I will go out that door tonight and never come back again. I’ll let you get on with your life.”
You’re fairly sure that he doesn’t even realize half the things that he’s saying. It’s like he has opened a gate and now not only is he apologizing and telling you the truth about everything, but he’s also letting his feelings for you finally come to the surface, unable to stop himself. He’s so caught up in everything that he leaves them out in the open without even realizing it.
And you just want to smile. Because Jason Todd has feelings for you too. And he has just said it out loud. You try to conceal your beaming smile to not scare him away. He’s way too much into his own head now, spiraling around the fact that he has to remove himself from your life as some sort of self-imposed punishment and in order to at least spare himself a part of the pain that would come from you outright kicking him away.
But you would never do that. Because even with everything that he has just told you and the things that he hasn’t yet, because you know that his story is a lot longer than what an evening can hold and holds a lot more things and very much darker ones than what he has revealed for the moment, you still want to be here with him. You still want him in your life.
Nothing could make you want to stay away from Jason Todd.
Not even himself.
And if there’s one thing that you’re stubborn about is that you’re always there for the people that you care about.
You just need to make him see that. To make him see how important he is to you. And you’re going to do everything you can so that he does.
You call his name again, trying to center his attention back to you but he keeps rambling.
You can only think of one thing that might finally make him stop and listen to you while also making him realize how you feel about him.
You have never done something as bold as this before. And there’s still a knick of doubt in the back of your mind, but the mere possibility of Jason leaving and the fact that the safety line that you two had drawn about your friendship and your feelings is fully difuminated now after his unintentional confession, almost as if it had never actually been there, has you determined. You want to think that it would turn out right.
And if not, at least you would get to do something that you had wanted to do for a very long time.
So, after firmly saying his name once more, and one of your hands getting out of his hold and tilting his head towards you, just when his eyes finally, finally, lock with yours for a quick second, you press your lips to his.
It’s not a long kiss and there isn’t much movement but you hope that you’re conveying everything that you feel for him and more. You can tell that Jason’s caught by surprise but it doesn’t take long at all for him to slowly press his lips against yours, returning your kiss. He lets himself melt into it and you do too. You feel warm all over and then you both sigh against each other, the two of you having fallen off the tightrope and finding that not only there’s a safety net beneath you, but an infinite number under it, one after the other, in the impossible case that one might break.
A soft place to land, a warm embrace.
You think that you could die happily right now.
You part, not wanting to overwhelm him but just from that taste you can already feel yourself slightly dizzy in the best kind of way. You slowly open your eyes and see Jason already looking at you, not believing what has just happened. You take a deep breath. Might as well put the nail in the coffin now. Cement the road.
“I’m in love with you Jason. All that makes you be you. Including being Red Hood. And I’m not going anywhere. And I really, really hope that you aren’t either.” You whisper.
“I’m a mess.”
You tilt your head with a small smile. “Aren’t we all?”
“Are you sure?” He whispers back, caressing your hair, still giving you an out, a last chance for you to escape him and all his problems, before his instincts take over and he latches himself onto you forever and never lets you go.
You nod, not faltering in your resolve. “Yes.”
“I’m in love with you too. I love you.” He says next and nothing has ever felt so liberating. Jason feels light, floating. And all he wants to do now is say it over and over again, just in case that you might still not be aware of how much he loves you.
“Good. That’s very, very good. I love you too.” You giggle, pressing your forehead to his, your noses brushing each other. Jason grins.
“Can you do that again?” He asks, his gaze dropping to your lips, already knowing that the day that he goes by without tasting them will be torture.
Your smile widens even more, if that’s even possible, and you kiss him once again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
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After that, everything stayed more or less the same. Jason kept coming into the bookshop several times a week, buying books and checking out some others.
Except that now, he also kissed you everytime he did so.
Except that now, you went on very official dates, not ones that could be mistaken by a friendly hangout.
Except that now, you paid a lot more attention to any news about Red Hood.
Except that now, you always patched him up.
Except that now, you spent nights in each other's beds.
And right now, you’re very confused.
Your brows knit as you try to understand what is in front of you. The computer screen showing the details of a book order that you had made for the bookshop a while ago but that hadn’t arrived, not making any sense.
You’re so concentrated that you barely register the jingle of the bell above the entrance door. Out of the corner of your eye you feel a figure come to stand in front of the counter.
“Just a second, please. I’ll be right with you.” You say almost automatically, trying to see if you can just wrap your head around what you’re reading on the screen, though you doubt that a few more seconds will make any difference. But still, you’re adamant to try.
“It’s okay. I’m just looking for my girlfriend.” The figure says and your head lifts up so fast at the voice that you should be worried about getting whiplash. But you don’t care.
Because there he is.
Jason Todd.
Your boyfriend.
You still feel giddy inside every time that you think about it.
You let out a small gasp before your lips twist into a wide smile and you might as well be The Flash with how quickly you round the counter and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
Jason’s smile is just as radiant as yours as he watches you come to him and gets ready for when you crash into him, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and giving you a slight spin when your feet lift off the floor due to the force of your hug.
He closes his eyes and breathes you in while he hugs you and brings you even closer to him, if that’s even possible. Your bodies merged into one in your embrace.
Never in his wildest dreams would Jason have ever thought that he would find himself in this situation. One in which you rush to meet him glowing with happiness. One in which he gets to kiss you without the fear of being rejected and one in which he’s able to call himself yours. He never would have believed any of that when he stepped foot into the bookshop that fateful night, which he was sure would be the last time he would ever get to see you.
He still can’t believe how lucky he is to have you. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you want him. That you accept all of his demons and that you help him fight them. That you love him. He will never take it for granted.
God, he loves you so much.
Your feet touch the floor once again but he doesn’t let go. He lets his senses overwhelm with you, everything about you enveloping him and not letting him feel anything that isn’t you. Your scent, the feel of your hair tickling his cheek, your arms around him. He doesn’t want to ever let you go.
He’s finally home.
Two weeks and a half is too long without you.
You think the very same about him as you do the exact same with him, your senses taking every part of him in, committing him to memory once again, even though you already know them like the back of your hand.
The feel of his soft hair as you run your fingers through it, just like you had dreamed so many times before, the scent and feel of his leather jacket beneath your arms.
God, you love him so much.
You finally pull back and look up at him with stars in your eyes. And then, without sparing another second, he dips down to kiss you. Or you pull up to kiss him, you’re not sure.
The only thing that matters is that his lips are finally back on yours and that’s all you need to know. You kiss him deeply, savoring him after being apart for so long and he kisses you back just as eagerly, loving the feeling of finally having you back in his arms.
And just like everytime that you kissed, like the very first time, it feels like a dream. Because you still can’t believe that he’s yours and that you’re his.
It was a long time coming.
But it turns out that you two are still human and therefore still need to breathe, so you both pull away but only what is strictly necessary to regain your breaths. Your chests and foreheads are still pressed together and lips inches from each other, so close that you can’t tell which breaths are his and which breaths are yours.
Your fast beating hearts falling into the same rhythm, syncing once again, going as one.
One of your hands holds the side of his face, softly caressing his cheek, so smooth that he must have shaved that very same morning. You feel his grip on your waist tighten.
“What are you doing here?” You finally say between giggles, the drug of his proximity, like always, making pure happiness run through your veins.
“Wrapped the case early.” He answers breathlessly before not being able to resist anymore and kissing you again.
You can’t help the smile on your lips while you kiss him and you can feel another one pulling at his own. When you separate once again you smile at each other, your eyes shining with love and affection for one another.
Jason had left earlier that month to help Dick with a case in Blüdhaven for a few days but then the thing had gotten bigger and dragged them all the way to Metropolis, making his trip longer than what he had first anticipated.
And then earlier in the week he had told you that he wouldn’t be able to return until the end of it. But here he was. Holding you in his arms and kissing you on a peaceful Wednesday afternoon.
“Everything went well?” You ask, not daring to tear your eyes away from his, only perhaps to steal a quick look at his lips.
“Yeah. All good.”
Before either of you can say anything else or even try to kiss each other again, Rose, Jimmy and Charlie, all of whom had been chatting over coffee in the break room, emerge at all the fuss.
“What’s all this?” Says Charlie with a smile as you and Jason disentangle, though he keeps you tucked into his side with a respectful arm around your waist.
“Just a young lovers reunion, Charlie.” Answers Rose.
“Sorry for intruding on, kiddos.” Adds Jimmy.
“It’s okay.” You say.
“You must be this Jason that I’ve heard so much about.” Charlie comments.
“Yes, sir. And you must be the famous Charlie. Nice to meet you.” Jason answers while shaking his hand, though not before throwing you a glance that makes your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and hide your face in his shoulder for a second. So you talked about me too huh?
“You too. My grandchildren are going to be devastated that you’re with someone now, darling.” Charlie says jokingly towards you now.
“Sorry, Charlie.” You respond with an apologetic smile.
“It’s good to see you, sweetie.” Says Rose to Jason to which Jimmy nods in agreement.
“It’s great to be back home.” He answers and you feel his hand give your waist a slight squeeze.
Shivers run down your spine.
You look up at Jason lovingly, a gaze that he returns, and you’re so lost in each other that neither of you see the smiles and look of recognition that the elders have in their faces, having themselves experienced a love like yours that still lasted to this day.
“Go, honey. Take the rest of the day.” Rose offers. You turn to her surprised but you can’t help but to also be excited at the possibility of going out with Jason already. Maybe to see Lily and the other kids, since Jason hadn’t seen them since he left, though you had of course shown up to check on them and continue with the readings, or maybe to eat something at Millie and Ruby’s.
But you don’t care as long as Jason’s with you. There were so many possibilities and you two had all the time in the world. And you were going to seize every single second of it. You two had wasted enough time already.
You also already know that Jason’s either spending the rest of the week at your apartment or you’re spending it at his.
“Are you sure?” You ask Rose.
“Yeah, go have fun, kids.” Jimmy confirms. You thank them before smiling brightly at Jason and then going to get your bag and coat.
As you and Jason make your way towards the door, Charlie speaks up once again.
“You’re treating her right, I suppose.”
Jason looks at you as he opens the door of the bookshop before turning back to Charlie.
“Always.” He says without hesitating and Charlie nods, glad with his answer.
The elders watch you go, happy that you two have each other. They watch how Jason moves the hand on the small of your back to take your hands between his and blow into them to warm them up in the cold Gotham air. And how you then zip his jacket all the way up, adjusting the collar so that it would protect him as much as possible, both of you smiling and looking at each other fondly, before you disappear from their view hand in hand.
Because as it turns out, it isn’t really a surprise when the road stays as strong and sturdy as ever after that cracking thunder.
Because that night, the days after and over time, Jason told you everything. About his past, about his family. And over time all that you did was fall even more for him, loving every part, every scar that he decided to show you. And he did the exact same for you.
Because in the end, he still was your Jason, the kind and handsome young man who always checked out children’s books and wore leather jackets.
Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!
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prince-koda · 9 months
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Simple
Jason Todd x Reader (no particular version or run but inspired by Nick Robles art)
Word Count: 263
A/N: I wrote this on the clock (again) so it's an insanely short and sweet blurb (shorter than my usual shorts). No pronouns, no description, etc. Semi proof-read butt my tenses may be wonky. Constructive criticism always appreciated :)
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If there’s one thing to know about Jason is, despite his rough exterior, he loves simplistic domesticity.
He doesn’t mind an extravagant dinner, but his heart melts everytime he’s smells a home cooked meal he got to prepare with his partner—his soulmate. He knows it’s corny, but it’s how he feels. The world could be ending but as long as he had his partner in his embrace, he’d be alright.
In Jason’s line of work, the chance for a normal life is taken away. There’s no going back; no giving up and sitting on the sidelines. Even being able to make friends can be difficult, but he never had to stress once he met his love. When his partner came around, everything fell into place. His partner somehow manages to radiate a feeling of home he never knew existed; safety and love like nothing he’s ever experienced.
He never thought he’d have someone fretting over his bruises while giving him back rubs, kissing him before he slips his helmet on for patrol, helping him shower after rough nights. A warm smile greeting him when he gets home at ungodly hours. Someone scratching his scalp while he lays in bed, sometimes until the late afternoon.
Jason thought he was doomed to a life of loneliness. Sure, he had his family and friends, but he always craved true intimacy with someone; someone he could pour his soul out to and they’d still be there. He wanted someone who wasn’t scared of him or what he does.
And then he found the light of his life—you.
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matchaverse · 1 month
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Let the world burn | LS2
pairing: hero!logansargeant x vigilante!fem!reader
summary: after a tragic accident, you changed your code-name and motives in a nice city, but when the media starts painting you out as some villain, the hero who ruined you comes to stop you.
logan’s hero is inspired by Artemis of Bana-Mighdall (DC) and y/ns vigilante is inspired by Jason Todd (DC).
warming: cussing, blood, gore, death, talk about drugs. this story also doesn’t truly follow the dc lore or comics, pieces are taken and made to fit the story.
part two (tba)
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
you wouldn’t say your life has been easy. being abandoned by your parents at a young age, trying to survive on the streets at the age of 12 after leaving the orphanage. soon being taken into a family who fight crime for a living. you became a really good sidekick for the hero you worked under.
but that all came crashing down when a notorious criminal in the city kidnapped you and tortured you, leaving you for dead, your hero mentor couldn’t save you in time.
instead of your story ending there, you were taken in from a group of assassins who basically brought you back to life, training you and making you into the person you are today.
you held onto the grudge of not being saved by the man who you looked up to, anger and resentment lingers in your blood. you decided to move on to a new city and make your own name, becoming a vigilante to the new city.
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you scoff, rolling up the newspaper and throwing it into the trash. “villain? are these people fucking blind” you mutter, shoving your hands into your suits pockets as you walk down the dark streets of gotham.
the silence of the city isn’t what you’re used to, from living on the streets of metropolis to the streets of gotham, it’s a huge difference.
you hear police sirens in the background and you can see the lights about to turn the corner of the street you’re walking on. you duck into an unlit alleyway, watching the cop cars speed past you.
“warehouse on sixth..” you breath out, knowing that’s the final destination of those officers because you were just there. you took out a whole warehouse of mobsters that work, well worked, under the penguin.
you see more cop cars flooding the streets. instead of panicking since you knew no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t catch you, you climb up the side of the building to get onto the rooftops so you can watch from afar.
“didn’t think i would catch you this soon” a deep males voice rings out through the silent night. you make sure your mask is on tight before turning and seeing a young man, possibly around your age maybe a year or two older, pointing his bow and arrow at you.
“so you’re the cities golden boy i keep hearing about” your voice comes out robotically from the voice modifier in your helmet.
the unnamed man chuckles. “if you mean the man that keeps the city clean from criminals like you, then yes.”
“criminal? i’m not a criminal”
“oh you’re not? then what’s up with all the deaths that’s been happening. hero’s and criminals alike”
you roll your eyes, keeping your dominant hand on your .45 that rests on the opposite hip. “they were all corrupt.”
“Hawk wasn’t corrupted. he was my friend”
you scoff then chuckle, your chuckle echoing through the air. “oh please, that druggie was working with the Sionis Family”
“no he wasn’t.” the young hero says, never lowering his bow.
“how about you ask him oh wait..you can’t”
“why you little..” the hero pulls the arrow back.
“i wouldn’t do that. the suits made out of Kevlar, your arrows have no effect on me”
“who are you?” the hero asks, finally lowering his weapon.
“you can call me RedHood, and you’ll be seeing me around more often” you say, flicking your other hand to drop a smoke bomb.
the hero coughs from the smoke, looking around the building rooftops as the smoke clears seeing that you managed to escape.
“fuck!” logan huffs, putting his arrow back in its place on his back.
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logan sits at his desk in his apartment, looking through police files and articles on every sidekick batman used to have under his wing.
“damn..how many sidekicks does one man need”
logan scrolls through the files, mumbling to himself.
“dick grayson…tim drake.. stephanie brown..wait”
logan’s eyes land on one name, y/n l/n.
“y/n l/n..pronounced dead six months ago” six months ago is when this new vigilante type person showed up in gotham.
he clicked around the computer until your picture shows up on his screen.
“Y/N L/N adopted by Batman at age 12, lived with him and trained under him. Batman says that Y/n is a feared and dangerous person but that’s what makes her such a good asset to his team. she never left a scene without causing chaos, villains feared her and didn’t wish to ever face her” the police report says.
logan sigh as he continues reading. “such a young girl..forced into a world of stopping crime..”
he keeps looking through all the files on you, collect as much information and personal details about you so next time he comes face to face with you, he can use it to his advantage.
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it’s been a few days since you’ve last seen the young hero, you didn’t go out of your way to find him, you truly didn’t care. you’re only mission was to rid the streets of evil and corruption.
you’re standing on a rooftop ledge, watching the busy streets of a saturday evening, blending into the shadows with your dark suit.
“y/n l/n” that same deep males voice rings out from behind you. your body tenses, the blood in your veins running cold.
“how the fuck did you figure that out?”
“not very hard honestly, there’s a lot of police files on you.”
you finally turn around to see the young hero, still dressed in his suit but no weapon in hand. he obviously doesn’t want to fight you tonight.
“you had a hard life, abandoned by your parents, living on the streets.” he says walking closer.
your body still tense. “not everyone is blessed with a good life.”
“you’re not wrong about that.”
“you were a hero..” he speaks up once he notices you going silent.
“shit changes. i don’t regret my actions.”
logan sighs, he understands why you do what you do now.
“i want you on my side”
“what?”
“you heard me. i misunderstood you at first, but i see that we have the same goals in mind. keeping the city safe”
you scoff at his words, but the thought of having a teammate and friend crosses your mind.
“..fine, but i’m not changing myself to fit your idea of a hero”
logan chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender. “that’s understandable, but you need someone like me, a well loved person in the city, to keep you from being labeled as a bad person”
“i guess you’re right..”you finally give in, lowering your guard.
logan smiles, extending his hand. “logan sargeant, nice to properly meet you.”
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mxtantrights · 2 months
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Can you write a Jason Todd x reader where they knew each other before he dies but then they reunite. Maybe they were robins at the same time. Y/n has element powers and their eyes change colors based on element currently using. They are afraid of having too much power. Established relationship please!!! I cannot handle slowburns
Broken Bird comes home
the night Jason died was the worst night of your life. The worst. No other night compares to it. Not the night after you spend in the fetal position and crying. Or the night after the funeral where there was no body. Or the night on the first anniversary of his death.
Night time is the worst for you. You just remember getting the calls from Bruce and your whole world shattering. Jason was more than your friend. He was your first crush, your first kiss, first relationship.
He used to do this thing when you two would hold hands on patrol. Your gloves covered your wrists so he would sneak his thumb inside of the leather and rub the inside of your wrist. Something about wanting to feel your pulse.
You had stopped being Robin about three months before you found out Jason died. You never really felt like you could be as good as Dick. And Jason was the only reason you stayed on as long as you did. But even that had it's caveats.
Bruce relied on you and your patience and understanding way more and tried to get Jason to model himself after you. Even though you tried to be more like him, less rule following and more march to your own beat and ask for forgiveness later.
But sometimes the two of them would put you in the middle of their endless tiffs. It drove you up the wall. And one night you just decided right then and there to stop being a Robin.
It's not until after the first year past Jason's death that you decide to go back on the streets to fight crime again. This time it's very different. You don't have anyone to answer to but yourself. And you have no one to look up to anymore.
You don't pull your punches. You don't think in black and white anymore. Everything is gray. And you operate in the areas that used to scare you.
It isn't long before Bruce reaches out, because he's been keeping tabs on you. He asks if you're sure about what you're doing. And he tells you that you're always welcome to come back, as yourself not as a Robin.
You respectfully decline his offer. You hated him the first eight or nine months after Jason's death. You hated how he wasn't there. You hated how that clown just walked free and continued terrorizing the citizens of Gotham.
You actually got to run into him once. Tracked him down, got him all by himself. And delivered a beating that brought him so close to the pits of hell that even you got scared. Bruce showed up then, told you it wasn't right. That you couldn't take justice into your own hands like that.
His words had no affect on you. You hated him for letting the clown go free like that. And you hated that he had a new Robin already.
It's probably not until the third year that you find your footing. You know how to operate as a vigilante. You don't get too mad when you see the new Robin anymore. And you talk to Bruce to check in and still decline his off to join his team.
In those two years you get better at controlling your powers. Yo hardly used them when you were Robin. And after Jason's death you over used them, packing a few punches that moved tectonic plates underneath your feet. This was a balanced way of using your powers. You were coming to understand them.
And then your world shatters again.
One night while on patrol, you notice your being followed. So you take a few turns to lose them. But they're pretty good. So you decide to corner them into an alley way. One where you can confront them.
In the dark you corner your tail. He stands a foot taller than you. All that you can really make out is that red helmet of his. Nothing else tells you about him. He's even using a voice modulator.
You ask him why he's following you. He doesn't answer. You tell him to back off. He doesn't answer. You, at your wits end, run ups o him and are about to deck him when he grabs a hold of your wrist.
You try to pull back but he holds you. It's not that tight. He's not hurting you, you realize. He's just holding you. When you look down at your wrist, you realize that he's touching you right where Jason did.
You wrench your wrist away from him and take a step back. You're about to haul off a bunch of curses at him when he starts speaking to you.
"You're pulse." he says.
Your spine goes straight at that. Jason used to say that, why is this guy saying that to you? You moves to take another step back but you don't. You look right at him.
"Jason?" you ask.
The man starts moving at light speed. All at once the helmet it coming off. You see a tuft of white hair amongst the black. And then he takes off his domino mask. You see it in his eyes. It's Jason, it's your Jason, but it's not.
"How is this possible?" you ask yourself, taking a few steps forward.
When the tip of your shoes meet his boots, and he doesn't move, you take it as a sign that he's okay with you being this close. You hesitantly reach up towards his face but you take your hand back. You don't notice the storm clouds you're forming. Not until the rain starts coming down.
"It's me." he says.
You can't help the tears that come out of your eyes. Or how you start sobbing uncontrollably. Jason wraps you up in his arms. You feel your whole body start to go slack in disbelief. He's real. He's alive, he's here.
"I'm sorry I made you wait." he says.
You wrap your arms around him tightly now, "You're back. You're really back."
You pull back from him a bit, he looks down at you. You can read the worry in his eyes. You reach up and cup his face. He lets out a strangled breath.
"I missed you so much."
a/n: I had to stop myself before it came a behemoth and I dragged you on for a slow burn. this was really fun to write. Especially the elemental part! thanks for sending this in !! <3333
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watercloud7 · 3 months
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BATFAM PROMPT:
Feral Talon Dad Bruce Wayne AU
The bat kids are raised by a Cryptid zombie horror murder man who loves them very very much❤️
Bruce is sent to kill the Graysons by the court of Owls and kidnap their child to make him a Talon.
Dick witnesses the whole thing but because he’s so young in this AU like basically a toddler he’s terrified and when Bruce picks him up to take him back to the Owls Dick snuggles into him and sobs and screeches and he’s angry and confused and scared and tiny but This massive murder monster who killed his parents is the only comfort he has.
Dick is alone and he has no one. No one is coming to save him, no one is coming for him , his mama and daddy are gone and the only thing left is …. Whatever the hell this cryptid horror zombie is.
So Dick, takes his comfort where he can, which today comes in form of zombi does Bruce Wayne and that’s what it takes i guess.
Bruce breaks out of conditioning and vanishes into thin air with the kid. Only he doesn’t go back to the court.
Maybe this Bruce takes baby Grayson away and raises him as a feral murder baby.
They live secluded and away from anyone and anything. Maybe the mountains in Nanda parbat. They’re so discreet and good the league of assassins doesn’t even know their mountains are technically compromised.
Bruce raises Dick in complete secrecy. Literally like a wild child, Bruce occasionally travels to the town over to bring back toys and books and whatever he finds that he thinks would make Dick happy.
Dick sees and longs for peoples and connections and more. He loves Bruce but Bruce is basically like Ariel’s dad WORSE he’s basically mother gothel, he’s seen so many horrors and he’s so paranoid. He just wants his son to stay alive and away from any harm.
keeping Dixk locked away and safe from the Owls that mean him horrific torture and agony. Safe from the world, Safe with Daddy😭❤️.
SIGN LANGUAGE ENTHUSIAST BATFAM HEADCANON.
Bruce’s voice is … zombified and uncomfortable to use, so he teaches himself sign language and then teaches Dick. They invent their own dialect. Just for them😭
Dick gets big enough to want to see the world, to understand what happened, to find himself outside of his adopted eldritch Dad, and MAYBE! Make a damn friend like he’s been seeing in those picture books Bruce brings for him every week.
He “runs away” in a fit of teenage rebellion or whatever you wanna call it, after Dick gets caught sneaking into a village a couple kilometres from their Cosy little cave they like to call home.
Bruce is furious and terrified and he’s everything a scared father is after finding your kid missing from their room when they were supposed to be home hours ago.
Dick explodes in frustration and tears and off he goes.
He goes back to the beginning. To Gotham.
A half deadly Half sunshine all Feral Dick Grayson is roaming the world all alone when he stumbles across a considerably less feral
Less deadly Jason Todd.
Jay is an orphan and this weirdly affectionate clueless terror of a guy just imprinted on him
and won’t leave him alone.
I mean Scary bird boy is a stage 5 dumbass, zero bark, Zero bite 100% cuddles kinda guy.
(Seriously this dude has no concept of personal space and it’s bordering on infuriating) but Jason is like 99.9% sure he just saw him down crime alley snapping the resident rapists necks.
The men that call girls avoided and the police did isn’t care to arrest, so clearly bird boy is not a bad guy but he’s definitely not Harmless either.
Jason likes his style though.
Maybe the court of owls tries going after Jason or tries to kidnap Dick again.
Bruce finds them in the nick of time and slaughters every single one of the Owls once and for all.
Shenanigans ensue and they all bond.
Love love love. Bruce literally adopts him the minute he sees him.
Bruce and Dick teach Jay sign language.
Jason teaches Bruce and Dick how to read.
Jason loves his feral dad and brother.
MAYBE! Tim parents were Owls.
The rich wealthy elites of Gotham succumb to their nefarious ways in an ironic and cathartic end, survived by their heir Timothy Jackson Drake. Who up until now they had been grooming into becoming the next Owl man, he’s been trained to kill and torture and every other bad guy skills he needs to be their evil little successor.🫡
Bruce gets rid of them though.
WOMP WOMP.
Maybe after killing Timmy’s parents Bruce is just like…
Bruce: awwwwww this reminds me of how Dick’s surprise adoption went!
Tim:…. Bro you can’t just murder my parents and call this a surprise adoption.
Bruce: we can call this a kidnapping if you wanna keep it 💯 but either way you’re coming home with me
Tim: …. I ain’t even like em like that fr. Let me just pack a bag real quick.
The Drakes parenting was abhorrent so after Bruce kidnaps him ,Tim is viciously violent at first but after Bruce shows Tim patience and kindness.
Tim develops Stockholm syndrome like instantly and just latches onto Bruce like it’s the first instance of true love and care he’s ever felt.
Jason is actually the most normal and well
adjusted out of his Psychotic family. Ironically he’s the only one out of all of them that hasn’t killed someone lol.
Tim latches on violently to Dick & Jason, it’s adorable and scary and very creepy in a wholesome way. Tim absorbs any kind of attention like a sponge and has separation anxiety. He likes to watch them sleep and follow them every where they go like a puppy, only he does it in the shadows and takes candid pictures of them he collects religiously.
He’s a complete weirdo.
Dick finds him Absolutely delightful, he wants to gobble him all up and cuddle at every opportunity, he enables all Of his bad habits and Jason does his best to damage control and encourage Tim to dabble in more healthy hobbies and ways of showing affection but ultimately Dick Grayson remains undefeated as a bad influence.
Dick is a good big brother, so obviously he’s gotta participate in his baby brothers love language so Timmy can feel seen and appreciated.
So now Jason has TWO stalkers shadowing him everywhere he goes. 3 when Bruce is feeling sentimental.
Jason tolerates his families psychotic and feral behaviour because he loves them more then life itself and if anyone else said anything like that about them he’d snap their necks.
Jason shows his affection in normal ways like beating up peoples trying to start a fight with his brothers and cooking for them because they can’t cook to save their lives.
Sometimes Jason will wonder on how exactly Dixk survived all those years in that cave with an immortal Bruce who doesn’t need to eat.
(Bruce would catch wild animals and Dixk
Would eat the meat raw, sometimes he’d hold his blood soaked hand full of flesh out wanting to share with dad, but Bruce would just drag Dick closer to him and nudge him to keep eating his dinner)
Jason feels bad and bakes him sugary monstrosities included but not limited too:
Oreo chocolate chip maple soaked marshmallow pancakes.
Sour candy lucky charm jam filled donuts.
Triple Chocolate Nutella and peanut butter Reese cookies.
Jason is appropriately horrified at what he’s created every time.
But Dick tasted sugar for the first time and doesn’t know how to act.
The kids are living their best lives but Bruce Is SPIRALLING.
The more kids Bruce acquires the more stressed he gets.
There’s a really angsty scene where Bruce breaks down holding onto his kids and crying. He’s not a monster, he just wants these kids to be safe. He doesn’t wanna kill anymore, he doesn’t wanna hurt things anymore.
He wants to go home with his babies.
He wants to take all of them back to their busted creepy cave in nanda parbat.
But Dickie Isn’t a baby anymore, he wants his family close but he also wants MORE, he wants to be around people he wants to discover the world. Jason was born and raised in Gotham and Bruce can’t in good conscience rip his life apart like that.
And then there’s Timmy. Honestly the Tim is this AU is an unhinged obsessive gremlin, he just goes wherever his family wants to go, nothing else really matters to him but them.
And so Bruce decides to stay in Gotham and hides them all in an abandoned building. It’s kind of like a nest.
Bruce stashes his babies in a Makeshift safe house until he can figure out a way to make all this work.
Maybe Alfred finds their weird little makeshift Family when he stumbles into their safe house and manages not to get immediately killed.
Alfred is VERY worried about the state in which these kids are living.
He vows to lure them and their Dad to a safer better living arrangement.
Maybe Bruce gets severely hurt and the kids kidnap Alfred to patch Bruce up.
Alfred is appropriately horrified at the undead creature growling and hissing while he treats their mortally terminal wounds, but keeps as much composure as an ex-military general would about it.
Bruce like totally imprints on Alfred And like a cat, he drags each and every one of his kids into Alfred life for him to babysit and look after while Bruce goes out to do whatever zombie dads do.
Alfred has no choice in the matter and has effectively acquired spontaneous grandkids and a son.
Bruce: daddy?
Alfred: …. Boy do I look like-⁉️
They move in with Alfred basically over night.
Damian is either created Through the league of assassins who stole the courts strongest talon’s DNA (Bruce’s DNA) to recreate it. Or any other way I guess I donno? Maybe Talia and Bruce got jiggy with It at one point when they were in those mountains. PFFFF LOL GIVE ME IDEAS.
Gonna run with the first idea ?
Damian is created in a lab, Maybe the Drakes latest project was too recreate their greatest success which had been Talon!Bruce.
Tim revisits his parents lab randomly and discovers this. An abandoned lab and abandoned cryogenic chamber containing a baby.
Tim grabs the kids and runs back home.
Jason is exasperated and Alfred panics a bit cause…. Huh?!?!
Jason: Seriously guys? We can’t afford Another surprise adoption right now.
Alfred: do you mean a “kidnapping”
Jason: don’t be mean! It’s their love language 😡
Alfred: wonderful… is it safe to assume I’ll be raising yet another grandchild?
Jason: that’s the spirit, anyway we gotta find a much bigger apartment than this, it’s getting crowded.
Alfred: Ah, my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused by my oversight. It seems I should have anticipated my being abducted by a feral street urchin and his entourage of lethal pets. Quite the oversight on my part, I’ll begin apartment hunting right away sir.
Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian: *living their best life while Alfred tries to wrangle them out of shenanigans*
Anyways They take Damian in and he’s just as feral and eldritch horror as his daddy. He’s got his big brother’s trademark behaviours too!
Tim’s severely anti social mess , Dick’s creepy uncanny valley nature and Jason’s love for baking!
It’s so sweet how much he takes after his sibling and Bruce couldn’t be more proud of his litter of horror.
Alfred is honestly such a trooper through all this, salute the GOAT.
I wrote this on a whim! If y’all wanna hear more about this AU, if you want it written, let me know!
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Project R AU where Danny is a clone created from the DNA of all the Robins past and present by the drs Fenton when they were teenagers.
Upon realizing the child they had made was going to be used as a weapon for evil they quickly and quietly packed up thier family and belongings and jumped ship to a new dimention with the kid after putting him in stasis so he was essentially frozen in time.
Later on little Jazz finds the baby in the tank and assumes the stork had made a delivery and flips the switch to release him from stasis so he can finish growing. A week later the pod beeps and she brings him out of the storage room as a chubby healthy baby and her parents loose thier minds for a bit.
Danny grows up normally...well not really but you get what I mean. Maddie makes sure Danny knows how to fight and wouldn't take no for an answer. No matter how much Danny complained that he wanted to play video games, go to the park with his friends or that Jazz didn't have to fight, she would never relent. Maddie knows she's nowhere near the level of a fully trained assasin but she wanted to give Danny every leg up she could.
She knew he would need it. Call it a mothers intuition.
Well, crap happens. Vlad outs Danny as Phantom and it ends very poorly for the wannabe vampire. Danny escapes into the GZ but just barely and is forced to leave his old life behind but not before Jazz tells him about what she had recently learned about Project: R.
The portals are destroyed and Danny flees to his home dimension in search of his fathers. Unfortunately when he gets there he learns most of his fathers are dead, only Damian Al Ghul and Jason Todd remaining, both having very strained relationships with thier own father Bruce Wayne and everything has gone to crap.
Theres an evil dictator in red and blue ruling the world and they're the reason two of his dads are dead. So he decides to rip the symbol off his chest, put on a mask and make his big debut as Phantom.
How you may ask?
By killing the evil Superman and his cronies on live television and announcing that he's the child of Project: R and what that means.
Damian finds Phantom in Bludhaven looking for him and asking him to take him in only to get refused. Damian fears that Bruce might try to turn Danny against him so is hesitant to get close emotionally.
Jason has no such concerns and scoops him up before Bruce can dress him like a traffic light. They then have the superhero talk and Phantom says he wants to be a anti-hero not a superhero. He already tried that one and it sucked so much. Jason definitely didn't like the fact his kid had been a superhero at any point but finding out pretty much all the adults in Dannys life had failed him so hard made Jay fly into a rage.
Bruce tries to go for custody but fails. Dannys doesn't like how the Titans treat Damian so he steals all the ABBA cds from the tower and makes off like a thief in the night. When they discover this they flip out because those were Dicks and they became practically sacred after he died.
Danny decided to cause problems on purpose. Such acts include:
1. Turning all the furniture in the common rooms of the Titans Tower into hyper realistic cake so when they sat on it/tried to turn on the TV, ect they'd be in for a suprise.
2. Stealing all the tires off of every vehicle Bruce owned and giving them to Jason/whoever was down on thier luck and couldn't afford to change thier tires. Danny says he has "a legacy to uphold" while balancing on the top of on of the tires as he runs it across Gotham
3. Torments Black Mask and Slade. Somehow all thier homes and safe houses are filled with beans. Yes, beans. Whenever they are in Gotham they get beaned in the face with a pickle. (This is worse for BM cause ya'know)
They have no idea whos doing this or why.
Ras Al Ghul is not amused by the pickleing but does not get beanified cause Danny doesn't know where most of his places are so he gets A LOT of pickles thrown at him every chance Danny gets.
4. Danny decides Damian requires lots of snuggles and just turns intangible whenever Damian tries to pry him off. Multiple people keep comparing him to Dick and its starting to get on Dannys nerves. He has three other dads to compare him to and Dick isn't even the only dead one! What about Tim??? He wants to learn about Tim! He demands his fathers tell him about themselves and Tim
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