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sundrop-writes · 1 month

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Careful - Chapter Three

(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader

Chapter Three: Turn It Off

Before it gets any better - we're headed for a cliff.

Summary:

Spencer finally gets to see his son for the first time, and there is absolutely no denying - that is his son.

Caught up in a whirlwind of love for the boy and navigating the first small steps in co-parenting with you, he accidentally trips into a minefield from the past when discussing Sebastian's conception, and you both realize with baited breath that you might not be over each other.

(Especially not when that lust still burns so close to the surface.)

Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Angst, Fluff, and Smut.

Word Count: 13,400

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: basic warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing; mentions of the reader being the target of a serial killer; angst/emotional tension between Spencer and the reader; (technically) Spencer being unprofessional by staying on the reader’s case; Sebastian is described to be a combination of the reader and Spencer’s looks, so this does not describe or exclude the reader’s looks/race; the bulk of this chapter is fluff because Spencer is bonding with Sebastian for the first time; most of the warnings for this chapter are because of the smut scene (which is a flashback to Sebastian’s (unintentional) conception) - so warning for smut; (kind of) phone sex; mentions of the reader masturbating; (Spencer calls the reader and she’s touching herself and he realizes it, but there’s not any real dirty talk in this section); the reader calls Spencer ‘baby’; Spencer calls the reader ‘darling’; mention of Spencer feeling emotionally worn down from looking at casefiles; unprotected penis in vagina sex (though Spencer is unsure if the reader is taking oral birth control consistently or not); there is a lack of communication about alternative birth control methods aside from condoms (like plan B and oral birth control) - but both partners enthusiastically consent to having unprotected sex in that moment, knowing the potential risks; creampie kink (not quite breeding kink?); mentions of Spencer eating out the reader after cumming inside of her; there is a scene with a lot of sexual tension between Spencer and the reader in the main timeline. Other than that - Morgan teasing Spencer? (and then having a serious moment with him). And I think that’s it.

A/N: This is by far the longest chapter - I don't know the official length of the final chapter yet, but this might be the longest chapter in the series. It was a bitch to edit, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Especially because I know a lot of people have been anticipating Spencer meeting Sebastian for the first time, and this is the big moment. I'm not gonna lie, when I was writing the first bits of this fic, I rushed to write the moment where Spencer meets Sebastian - and it gave me chills to write it. So I really hope that you guys enjoy it, and you enjoy the sweet moments in this fic, as well as the more saucy ones lmao.

...

Spencer churned with nerves as he walked back up to the house, two gift bags clutched in his shaking hand.

He had walked around the mall for a long time - partial aimless wandering, partial sweaty anxiety causing his feet to move along rapidly. He felt like everything he looked at was not the right gift to apologize to you with after so long. He felt like it needed to be perfect.

After about an hour of wandering, Hotch called him and tore him a new one. Apparently JJ had pulled him aside and explained the delicate nature of his situation privately. Hotch knew how dangerous it was to get so personal and emotional when it came to things like this, and he wanted Spencer back at the police station and far away from you. He said that if you needed protective custody, then he would put Morgan or Prentiss in charge of it.

Spencer didn’t care if it was unprofessional. He begged to stay on the case, to stay with you and watch over you. Apparently you were the only viable lead - with the flowers that had been sent to you, you were the only potential next victim.

After a while of back and forth, Hotch folded.

He sent an unmarked car to watch over your house, and told Spencer to hurry up and get back there. He needed to try and convince you to agree to around the clock protection. At the very least, if Spencer was in the house when the UnSub tried to break in, he could catch him in the act.

The rest of the team tried to farm other leads. They went through the other victims’ lives to see if anybody connected to them had any connection to the firm that handled the preschool applications, if any of their neighbors remembered anybody suspicious lurking around their homes in the days before the murders.

Spencer spent another hour rushing around the shopping center before he found the perfect gifts for you and your son - his son. (He really, really hoped that he was right about that.)

He picked up a couple of gift bags - one with a brightly colored pattern of teddy bears eating birthday cake and the other with a more mature pattern of soft roses. He put the gifts inside and rushed to get back to the house before Hotch called him again.

And now that he was standing on the porch, facing down your door again, he almost couldn’t work up the ability to knock.

But he knew that he had to face the inevitable.

He reached out and gave three firm knocks once again.

This time, what he heard surprised him.

A loud, squealing giggle, and a round of thunderous footsteps across the floor, slightly muffled by the door. Clearly - the sound of a young child.

Spencer’s blood rushed through his body like a tidal wave and he found himself dizzy as he stared at the white panels of your front door, anticipation thumping through him. After a tedious moment that felt like four long years, the doorknob slowly turned, and the door creaked open.

Peeking out of the crack - a big, curious eye, and half a chubby cheek poked out at him.

Your son had answered the door by himself.

Spencer swallowed down nerves as he prepared himself to meet Sebastian for the first time.

Upon instinct, Spencer crouched down lowly on the balls of his feet, getting down onto the child’s level.

“Hey, buddy.” He said, using a light voice, trying to be as non-intimidating as possible. “Where’s your Mommy?”

Mommy.

It felt so strange - using that word to refer to you. But yes, you were his mother.

You were a mother.

That fact truly hit Spencer like a truck in that moment.

Unexpectedly, Sebastian then flung the door open fully. It seemed that he had fully assessed Spencer, and deemed him as someone friendly, rather than some kind of threat.

A large knot formed in Spencer’s stomach then, as he saw his son for the first time. Because in that moment, there was no denying - this was his son.

He saw his own big eyes staring back at him, reflecting the same epic curiosity that he had at that age. He had your complexion, most definitely your same skin tone. The boy had your sweet smile, your cute nose. Spencer ached as he realized that Sebastian was quite literally the perfect combination of the two of you. His own wild, untamable tendrils (hair that clearly hadn’t been cut for a while) with tones of your natural color in it - your sweetness, your laughter.

Spencer used all of his self control in that moment to keep himself from fainting on the spot.

“Who are you?” Sebastian asked, tilting his head slightly, inspecting Spencer with a distinct up-and-down glance. “Are you the police? Mommy’s talking on the phone. She said the police are coming to our house. But she didn’t like that. Her face made a big frown - like when that man at the grocery store asked if she’s ‘free’ on Friday. And I said: you can’t buy Mommy, she doesn’t have a price. You can’t buy people. You buy bananas. That’s why we came to the grocery store, pal!”

Spencer frowned.

This was a lot of information to receive in such a short span, and Spencer quickly tried to sort it all out in his mind.

Technically, he was ‘the police’, but he didn’t want to introduce himself to Sebastian that way if it would bring a negative connotation. Clearly, this was a very observant child - he had picked up on the fact that you didn’t want police protective custody around. (Spencer just hoped that you hadn’t mentioned why you might need that kind of protection around the very clever ears of your son - someone who had interpreted a man asking you on a date as a barter for ownership of your person, apparently.)

Not wanting to upset Sebastian, he chose to introduce himself in another way, rather than saying he was with law enforcement - which is what he would have done with any other small child.

“I’m a friend of your Mommy’s.” He said. “My name is Spencer. Can you-”

Before he could finish talking, your voice entered the conversation.

“Sebastian! Seb!” You called out urgently, looking for him now that you had realized he was gone from your field of view.

You came around the corner in a panic and found your son standing there with the front door wide open. Your eyes naturally flickered toward Spencer, and surprisingly, a look of relief flooded your face at seeing him.

As much as you disliked Spencer for your own reasons - at least someone who wasn’t a predator was with your son. You hadn’t meant to leave the door unlocked. It was just easy to forget things when you were chasing after such an energetic kid.

“Sebastian, Mommy told you not to open the door unless I’m here with you.”

You scolded him, rushing to scoop him up in your arms - unconsciously protecting him from the outside world as you propped him up onto your hip, hugging an arm around his back to hold him there.

Spencer’s insides fluttered at how natural you looked with him in your arms. It was a picture perfect sight: you with his son in your arms. It was something he had been dreaming of for years. And now, for so many reasons, it left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Spencer is my friend!” Sebastian proudly proclaimed, motioning toward his very new ‘friend’. “You said it’s okay to answer the door for friends.”

You clenched your jaw, clearly resisting the urge to make a foul comment about this in front of your son. You wanted to correct him and say that Spencer was not a ‘friend’ - that he was far from it. But you held that back, knowing that Sebastian was too young and innocent to be stung by your anger. (Especially anger from a fight that was older than he was.)

Before you could speak further or insist that Spencer had to leave, Sebastian spoke up again.

“What’s in that bag?” He asked, extending his little arm and pointing a pudgy little finger toward the gift bags that Spencer had in his hand - items that Spencer himself had nearly forgotten about, swept up in pure awe at meeting his son for the first time.

“Oh, it’s a gift for you.” Spencer smiled at him, holding one of the bags up toward the boy. “Because I missed your birthday.”

Sebastian took the bag excitedly, but didn’t get a chance to examine the items yet, still awkwardly trapped in his mother’s arms.

You glared at Spencer over Sebastian’s head. You thought it was a cheap attempt at buying his affection. Spencer avoided your eye. (If you were a lesser woman, you would have banned Sebastian from having the gift. But you weren’t going to take away his joy based on your own rotting emotions.)

“What do you say, bud?” You prompted, wanting him to thank Spencer for the gift - even if you thought it was ill-intended.

“I’m four now!” He excitedly announced, believing this was what you meant. “I just turned four. I had a big boy birthday. So I go to the toilet all by myself - as long as I don’t wee on the floor. And I had a princess at my birthday party, but apparently she doesn’t bring the letters to Santa Claus, the mail does that. Did you know that the U.S. Postal Service was founded in 1775, and Benjamin Franklin was the first postmaster-”

“Seb, that’s not what I meant.” You said quietly, gently cutting off his unrelated string of ranting.

Spencer was grinning widely from ear to ear - he found himself so utterly charmed by Sebastian’s bright, enthusiastic personality.

“Sebastian, you have to say ‘thank you’ to Spencer for the present.” You reminded him, getting his mind back on track.

“Thank you!” He parroted back.

“You’re very welcome.” Spencer replied, his cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling.

You then put him down, and he ran back into the house, excited to open his gift and see what was inside it.

A tense silence fell over you and Spencer. You continued to glare at him with fury tightening in your jaw. Any joy he previously felt over seeing Sebastian for the first time was completely zapped from him.

He now felt like a groveling idiot, desperate to get back into your good graces. He felt like the picture perfect life with a perfect family was right there, and he was missing out on it because he had messed up all those years ago.

“That was a nice try. With the gift.” You huffed out. “I don’t even wanna know what’s in that one.” You said, motioning to the other bag.

“Y/N-” He said your name, ripe with desperation, and you cut him off again.

“When did you know?” You asked.

The question utterly confused Spencer, and when you saw this flash through his features, you took pity on him for once, and decided to clarify.

“When did you know that he was yours?” You said this lowly, edging on a whisper, not wanting your son to hear it - even though he likely wouldn’t understand what the words meant if he did. (But he was an observant, smart kid. You couldn’t risk him hearing either way.)

“I did the math.” Spencer told you, matching your whisper. “I knew for certain when I saw him.”

You let out a rugged sigh. With your tense body language, your tight jaw - Spencer feared that even now, you might ask him to leave.

For him, that simply wasn’t an option.

“Look, you can’t keep me from my son-” Spencer said, speaking normally now - he knew that eventually, the two of you would have to tell Sebastian that he was his father.

He wanted a relationship with his child no matter what.

“Keep your voice down!” You hissed, looking over your shoulder as if the small child was some boogeyman who would sneak up on you specifically to eavesdrop on the conversation.

From the distant sounds of giggling and some playful voices - it sounded like he was far too busy playing with his toys to care about what was going on between you and Spencer.

“This changes nothing.” You added on bitterly. “You still have no right to be around me after what happened, and-”

“You’re seriously telling me that this changes nothing?” Spencer barked back, intensely offended by that assessment.

You refused to look Spencer in the eye, and he barreled forward, believing that he could convince his way in the door with his stubbornness alone.

“He is my son.” He spit back sharply, so much passion in the words that it gave you chills. “He is a part of me as much as he is a part of you. Even if - even if you hate me,” Spencer said, unsure if that was the right term, and feeling a rock in his stomach when you didn’t protest. “Even if you hate me now and always will, I still have a right to be in his life.”

Guilt flashed across your features. You had always regretted not contacting Spencer in order to let him meet Sebastian. And now all of those late night ‘what ifs’ were coming back to haunt you. With a vengeance.

“And I know you might not view it that way, but it’s been a long time. And I have changed.” He continued on, trying his best to convince you, knowing that these words were hollow.

Spencer didn’t even think about the potential consequences of his next words before he spoke them, but he went on anyway.

“And I would really, really like a second chance with you. I understand if you and I are over. If everything we had is completely… gone.”

Your eyes flickered toward him at this, a dreadful ghost lingering in the back of your pupils. This was the last thing you had expected to hear from him, and you had a difficult time processing it.

His tone was incredibly mournful when speaking these words. He still had so much love for you in his heart, and he could not imagine being around you and interacting with you to co-parent a child and not being with you. Not sharing your bed. Not having more children with you.

“But you and I at least need to be civil, for his sake. Tell me that he really would be better off without both parents in his life.”

Spencer resisted the urge to cite statistics about single parent households and the likelihood of forming antisocial personality disorders - mostly because he didn’t want to think of his son like that, and because you being a single parent household was the entire reason he was here.

He didn’t want to bring up the UnSub again, and the potential danger you might be in - because he didn’t want you to brush him off or get even more angry.

You looked intensely thoughtful, then, clearly mulling over his words in your mind.

He thought that something else might sway your opinion in his favor.

“Plus, if you don’t let me inside, that means I got you this gift for nothing.” He said, giving you his absolute best puppy eyes as he held up the bag in your direction.

You rolled your eyes with a huff, but you took it from him anyway.

“Don’t think you can bribe your way back into my good graces, Spencer.” You said, accepting the bag, and then:

You stepped aside and let him in.

Spencer didn’t waste a moment, gratefully accepting this. He took off his messenger bag and set it beside the door as you closed it behind him. You made a point of locking it this time, putting the deadbolt on so that Sebastian wouldn’t be able to get the door open by himself.

“You used to be very easy to bribe back in the day, if I can remember.” Spencer told you, throwing a grin over his shoulder at you.

That grin, the light in his eyes. Him bringing up memories of ‘the old days’ - for a moment, it was all too much. It was too easy. It reminded you of simpler times - a time when you would have just leaned over and kissed him in order to shut him up.

“Enjoying and accepting gifts is a lot different than being bribed.” You muttered under your breath, leaving the gift bag on the table beside the door as you walked back into the living room where Sebastian was playing.

Spencer left it there for now - but he would have you open the gift before the day was over. That much he was determined of.

“Mommy, look!”

Sebastian ran toward you excitedly when he saw you walk back into the living room - he was waving something in his hand to show you. You quickly recognized it as a character from his favorite show - it was a rather large plush toy of Rubble from Paw Patrol. It still had a tag hanging off its ear, so it must have been what Spencer had brought him in that gift bag.

Your stomach tightened. You knew that it was likely something to do with profiling - the fact that when he had been here before, he had only been in your home for fifteen minutes, but he had likely been able to observe so much about your life (and about your son) just from the simple things you had sitting around. You hated it. You hated that he had so many skills and tools at his disposal that meant you could hardly keep any secrets from him.

“Oh wow, that’s so nice, baby.” You grinned widely, putting on your happiest voice for your son even though you didn’t like that Spencer had so easily bought his affection.

“And look, look at this!”

He nearly tripped over his own small feet, racing back over to the gift bag to fish out something else. He ran back over to you and handed it to you. It was a children’s picture book called ‘Dino ABC’ - it appeared to have a different dinosaur for each letter of the alphabet on each page. Educational and cute. Just what you would have expected from Spencer.

You felt a deep pain emanate out from the center of your chest - your heart literally aching as you fought your hardest to keep a big smile for your son.

“Seb, you still have to finish your snack.”

You told him, tossing the book aside to put it on the couch and walking back over to the coffee table in order to draw his attention to the abandoned plate with his food on it.

“Come on. You can play with your toys later.”

You had been part way through his snacktime when JJ had called you, trying to convince you to come into the police station for a briefing about ‘protection’. Ultimately, that conversation had distracted you when Spencer had knocked on the door.

He tucked Rubble under his arm and rushed to sit in your lap, shoveling cheese and crackers into his mouth off the frog shaped plate while you turned your attention toward Spencer - who had been watching the whole exchange while leaning against a wall, a tentative smile forming on his face.

“I have to hand it to you, you’re good.” You said, trying to keep your tone neutral, straying away from anger. “You hit on two of his biggest interests - Paw Patrol and dinosaurs. That profiling stuff is a lot more accurate than I thought,”

Spencer didn’t want to admit that he had just picked a book about dinosaurs because that was what he liked at that age, and the Paw Patrol thing had been all JJ’s doing. He had been far too busy caught up in anger at your initial stubbornness to try and ‘profile’ you.

“Well-” Spencer attempted to reply, but he was cut off by Sebastian’s loud, enthusiastic voice.

“What’s profiling?” He asked, nearly shouting, unintentionally spraying crumbs out of his mouth as he struggled to chew and speak at the same time.

“Buddy, what did we say about talking with your mouth full?” You huffed quietly, grabbing a napkin to wipe up some of the crumbs he had sprayed out.

You didn’t expect Spencer to indulge him with an honest answer.

“Well, you see…” Spencer thought for a moment, wanting to explain the concept to him in an honest, but child-friendly manner. “Profiling is when I look at the things around you, and how you act, and I can tell what you’re thinking.” He replied. “Like… if you have a secret.”

He moved toward the coffee table and once again crouched down to Sebastian’s level - and his cheeks curled into a smile at his son’s eager, curious eyes staring him down.

You watched the interaction quietly. You never would have admitted it, but it gave you butterflies to see how natural, how perfect Spencer already was with Sebastian.

Sebastian chewed a bit more before he spoke again.

“I have a secret.” Sebastian whispered - a dramatic stage whisper that kids his age always did.

“Hmm…”

Spencer put his thumb and forefinger against his chin, and cocked an eyebrow, looking around the room like a cartoonish detective, acting like he was trying to piece together exactly what this big secret was. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sebastian’s entire body go stiff, as if he could better hide while not moving - and one small, cracker-crumbed fist clenching tight under the coffee table as the boy tried his hardest to contain his laughter told him everything that he needed to know.

“You’re trying to hide part of your snack from Mommy!” Spencer declared, laughter in his voice as he pointed an ‘accusing’ finger toward Sebastian.

The boy burst into laughter and surrendered his hand, dumping a single crumbled up cracker onto his plate as he curled over with epic laughter - apparently finding the whole thing to be a very amusing game.

“You got me!” He chuckled.

You had difficulty hiding your own smile at all of this, and you tried to encourage Sebastian back into an upright position as he wiggled around from laughing so furiously.

“Well maybe we need Spencer around when you try to hide your carrots at dinnertime.” You said, your tone flat, not at all reaching that same joy. “Now come on, you joker, finish up please.”

You caught Spencer’s eye then - and he had the dangerous realization that you weren’t entirely kidding.

“I’ll be around whenever you need me.” Spencer replied, seriousness seeping back into his tone.

You wanted to argue this - but of course, you held back with Sebastian sitting in your lap. Instead, it dissolved into a sharp huff out of your nose.

When it seemed that you had nothing more to say on the matter, Spencer turned back to Sebastian, who was licking the mushy, bright red remnants of some strawberries off his fingers.

“What’s your favorite dinosaur, bud?” Spencer asked.

He was eager to get to know his son better - and he was expecting a rather generic answer from a four year old, like T-Rex.

He certainly did not expect what came next.

“Plesiosaurus!” Sebastian cried out excitedly, accidentally spitting out some food (again), which you rushed to wipe off his shirt and face with a nearby napkin. “They lived in the Jurassic period, and could grow to eleven feet long!”

Spencer beamed with pride.

Even though Spencer hadn’t spent that much time around children, he knew that this seemed to be fairly advanced knowledge for a four year old.

You gave Spencer a very distinct look over Sebastian’s head. You could see that glint in his eye, and you knew that you were both thinking the same thing.

He had interented his father’s big, big brain.

It was something you had known for a long time now. And you knew that it wouldn’t take Spencer long to see it.

“Wow, buddy.” Spencer smiled widely, eager to praise the boy. “That’s so awesome. My favorite is the Brontosaurus.”

Sebastian smiled, and nodded.

“They’re herbivores. Which means they only eat plants.” He replied. “Not like Mommy. She eats steak. And it’s gross.”

You couldn’t help but to let out a laugh at this, and Spencer easily joined you.

Leave it to the random stream of thoughts of a four year old to actually make you forget about your anger towards Spencer - at least for a little while.

“Mommy, can I have more strawberries?” Sebastian asked, holding up his now empty plate.

Something a lot of people don’t realize about little kids - they eat a lot of fruit.

“I’ll see if we have more.” You told him, moving to scoot him off your lap.

“I’ll go-” Spencer moved to get up, and you gave him a sharp glare that cut off his words.

Luckily, Sebastian didn’t see this as he jumped off your lap and rushed toward Spencer, picking up his dinosaur book with still sticky fingers along the way.

“I got it.” You grumbled quietly, picking up the plate and moving toward the kitchen.

You wanted to make a comment about how you had been taking care of him by yourself for the past four years, so a single plate of strawberries was not that big of a deal. But you didn’t want to be so passive aggressive in front of Sebastian, especially because he wouldn’t understand why.

You cleaned and cut up the few strawberries that were left, and when you came back, Sebastian was sitting on Spencer’s lap. They had the book propped open in Spencer’s hands while Sebastian gawked at it and explained in detail about whatever they were looking at - likely far greater detail than the book already had written in its pages.

“Ferrisaurus.” He said, nearly out of breath with excitement. “He has a very sharp beak. He was discovered in 1971 by Kenny F. Larson. He belongs to the Leptoceratopsidae family, and-”

You put the plate down in front of them, and Sebastian frowned when he saw it, cutting off his own words.

“Is there any more?” He complained loudly. “I wanna share some with my friend Spencer.”

Spencer’s mouth flattened into a thin line, clearly trying his hardest to hide a beaming smile at being claimed as Sebastian’s ‘friend’ once again.

“No, sweetie, that’s all the strawberries we have in the house.” You informed him. “I’ll go to the store and get some more tomorrow. But you can’t keep eating all the fruit and then complain when it’s all gone.”

It was a common theme in your life - Sebastian could eat an entire carton of raspberries in one sitting, and then became upset when there was no more in the fridge.

Sebastian shrugged and reached up over the book to grab one off his plate. He shoved it into his mouth before reaching for another, looking up over his shoulder to then clumsily aim for Spencer’s mouth. You were expecting Spencer to dodge it and tell him ‘no thank you’ - a man who was a germaphobe, someone who you had seen use disinfecting wipes on forks at restaurants because he didn’t trust other people to clean the utensils well enough. But instead, he leaned down and captured the half-mushed fruit from your son, giving a small grin as some of the juices smeared across his lips.

Your stomach twisted into knots as you moved to sit on the couch.

You didn’t want to call it affection. You would deeply deny that it was fondness rising in you at seeing Spencer clearly soft and loving toward your son.

Toward his son.

Especially because it was a sight that you thought you would never witness in your lifetime.

“Thank you.” Spencer mumbled out as he chewed, and Sebastian chirped out a ‘you’re welcome!’ - even reaching to grab a napkin to help Spencer wipe his mouth before he then turned back to his book.

“You know, if he wants more fruit, I can run to the store. It’s really no trouble.” Spencer offered, clearly eager to give your son whatever he wanted - whatever he needed.

“He’s fine.” You sighed in return. “It’ll be fine until tomorrow. Do you have any idea how much fruit this kid eats in a day? How much fruit he’s eaten just today alone?” You remarked.

Spencer saw it as the rhetorical question it was, and waited for you to continue on.

“He ate an entire carton of raspberries before he left this morning. I had to change his shirt because he looked like a character from Texas Chainsaw.” You explained, feeling safe that Sebastian would not understand that reference.

“It makes sense.” Spencer replied. “The natural fructose found in most fruits make it an incredibly appealing taste to the underdeveloped palette of a child. It’s actually believed that before puberty, people have a higher concentration of taste buds on the apex of the tongue, which is the area associated with sweet and salty sensations, so children are more likely to crave sweet flavors. And most fruit has a mild but naturally satisfying fructose level, essentially making it less assertive than artificial candy that pubescent children would enjoy with a more developed tongue. Basically - children like it so much because fruit is nature’s candy.”

Spencer let out a breathy laugh as he finished this statement, and you knew that your eyes were glowing with delight as you stared at him.

Sebastian was staring up at him - clearly absorbing every single word that he spoke with eagerness. You wouldn’t be surprised if Sebastian was able to repeat back those facts word for word later on. He was startlingly like his father.

You almost hated it, but this reminded you so much of the Spencer you had fallen in love with. The man who excited you with his passion; the person who made your knees tremble because he was so chalked full of knowledge, but never pretentious about sharing it.

“Is that so?” You grinned in return.

Before Spencer could get too caught up at that affectionate sparkle in your eye, something barreled to the forefront of his mind.

“Wait - what did you mean by ‘before he left this morning’?” Spencer asked. “Where does Sebastian go during the day?”

He needed to know more about your life. There could be something small lurking in some corner that could lead him to the UnSub before the man had a chance to even consider attacking you.

“I go to see Abby!” Sebastian piped up, answering the question as he turned a page in his book. “And my friends: Paige, and Jimmy, and Emma.”

“Abby is his babysitter.” You explained. Spencer nodded at this. “He goes there four days a week. From nine in the morning until three in the afternoon. They have three other kids, Paige, Jimmy, and Emma. So he has friends there. He likes the social interaction. And I get my work done while he’s gone.”

“But you’re on a waitlist for a daycare in the area?” Spencer prodded. You grew confused at this, so he added on: “That’s how my team found you. Through the daycare applications.”

It felt like a violation of your privacy, but you didn’t point that out.

You felt like the conversation was straying into ‘grown-up’ territory. Things that you didn’t want to speak of in front of your son, because children are sponges and you don’t really know how much they absorb. So you decided that it was time for him to have some independent playtime while you and Spencer talked. He had finished his snack in the meantime, anyway.

You picked up a napkin and wiped his hands, and then you gently took the book from Spencer, who had been holding it open for Sebastian to look at it.

“Seb.” You spoke to him gently, leaning into his view. You brushed away one of his wild curls and he looked at you attentively - Spencer’s heart rate sped up uncontrollably, and he knew that he was looking at you much the same way. “Can you go play in your room for a while, buddy? I need to have some grown-up time with Spencer.”

“I want Spencer to come with me!” Sebastian argued gently. “I wanna show him my toys!”

“Yes, you can show him later.” You told him. “After we’re done talking, he’ll be right up, and you can show him all your dinosaurs, and-”

“And the stars!” Sebastian added on excitedly.

“Yes.” You nodded. “Whatever you want.”

Sebastian then let out a bright ‘okay!’ and Spencer helped him up, and there were more thunderous racing footsteps as Sebtastian went upstairs to go and play in his room.

“Grown-up time?” Spencer asked, quirking a brow at you.

You hated that the tiny bit of innuendo in his voice drudged up heat between your thighs.

You labeled it as desperation because you hadn’t been touched by another person in so long, not your genuine attraction toward him coming back again.

“Yes.” You said firmly. “You and I need to talk. About a lot of stuff. And he doesn’t need to hear all the gory little details.” You sighed. “Coffee?”

“That sounds great.” He nodded.

He followed you to the kitchen loyally and leaned against the counter while you went about the mechanical, ingrained movements to make a pot of coffee.

“So, why isn’t he in preschool?” Spencer asked.

He neglected to bring up the fact that the UnSub had likely targeted you through the preschool applications. He knew that you would become annoyed again if he brought up the fact that you were in danger - so he left that alone for now. The longer he stayed in the house, the better chance he had of convincing you to leave, to come into police custody for your own protection.

If the worst case scenario were to take place, his gun was in his bag. He would protect you if anyone tried to break in. He would protect you at all costs.

“They wouldn’t accept Sebastian into daycare because… they thought he was too advanced for their program.” You explained, answering his question. “They wanted me to have him IQ tested. And I refused, so they put him on the waitlist.”

You weren’t facing Spencer as you filled up the coffee machine with water, but he could hear it in your voice. Grit. Disdain.

Did you dislike the fact that your son was so advanced? Did you harbor annoyance because he had likely inherited that incredible intelligence from Spencer?

“Why didn’t you get him the IQ test?” Spencer probed, brimming with frustration. “Get him an assessment with a professional, at least?”

Sure, you disliked Spencer for your own reasons, but it was no good reason to have your son held back in life.

You shrugged. Obviously, you were holding back the truth.

“My mom thought it was a good idea.” You remarked. “But…”

You clicked the coffee pot into the coffee maker and turned it on, and then turned to face Spencer.

“I remembered all the stuff you said.” You said gently.

This confused Spencer, and he eagerly listened as you continued.

“About feeling ‘socially isolated’, and how you were upset that you didn’t have a ‘real childhood’ because you didn’t get to go to school with people in your own age group.” You explained.

Then it truly hit Spencer.

You weren’t avoiding having him tested to hold him back in life - you thought it was for his betterment.

Because you had truly retained something from your relationship with Spencer. From all those late night hours the two of you had spent talking, tangled up in the sheets together after-

Spencer forced himself not to think about it.

“I want him to have friends.” You continued on. “To have socialization. Even if he’s special - he can have education individually. Hell, having a tutor will probably be better for him if he’s so advanced, right? He probably needs individual attention.”

Spencer nodded at this.

“I wanted him to go to daycare - not because he needs to learn the ABCs and shit. He could recite the alphabet when he was eight months old.”

Spencer felt a wave of shock at this, and then intense pride.

“I wanted him to go there and make friends. So I guess him going to the babysitter and making friends turned out to be a better fit for him anyway.”

Spencer couldn’t describe the depth of the pride he was feeling. Not just at knowing how truly intelligent his son was, but at knowing that your instincts as a mother were so well tuned.

Not just because you knew what your son needed, but because you had listened to Spencer talking about regrets from his own childhood and you had tried to keep from making those same mistakes with his son. It was likely that you even saw how socially underdeveloped he was when you met him as a twenty one year old and that was a huge part of your reasoning.

In the few minutes he had spent with Sebastian, he already saw that brilliant intellect colliding with the nurturing you had shown him. His ability to make friends easily, his eagerness to share, his natural curiosity. He was leagues ahead of where Spencer had been at that age - shy, apprehensive, constantly clammed up around new people.

You had raised such a brilliant, beautiful boy.

“It seems like the right choice.” Spencer assured you. “I can already tell that the socialization is doing him well. He - he’s such a great kid.”

He couldn’t hold back his beaming smile this time, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, highly resisting the urge to reach out and touch you. He wanted so badly to pull you into a hug - to kiss you.

But he had to remind himself that he had lost those privileges so long ago.

He had to be thankful for the simple privilege of basking in your smile when you returned the action.

“I - I am actually kind of glad that you’re here.” You admitted meekly, a moment of shy honesty shining through.

Spencer resisted the urge to cheer loudly.

“I’ve been trying to teach him, but I barely know where to start.” You added on, exasperated laughter escaping your lips at the thought. “I can barely keep up with stuff that’s on his level. I read to him a lot, but I have trouble picking books that are appropriate for him? Anything that’s on his level academically has too much violence or racism or complicated themes for his age. At least, when it comes to fiction books. And I can’t really comprehend the scientific stuff. He picks out dinosaur books when we go to the library and reads them on his own, and half the stuff… he just tells me all the stuff he’s learned when he reads on his own and it amazes me.”

You chuckled, and Spencer easily returned it.

His son was truly an egghead after his own heart.

“I’ve been trying to teach him the periodic table, but I don’t even remember half of it myself. I haven’t needed it since high school chemistry.” You remarked with another dry laugh.

Spencer smiled brightly at you.

“You - you were right.” You hated to admit it. “He does need his dad. He needs you. He needs someone who can nurture that big brain of his.”

The detail oriented part of Spencer’s brain was eager to jump into planning - he wanted to ask you about creating a schedule, the logistics of how and when he would see his son, especially considering that the two of you lived in different cities, in different states. (Truthfully, he wanted to ask if you were willing to move closer so that he would be able to see Sebastian as often as possible.)

But he forced himself to set that aside for now, because something else was bothering him.

You reached up to the cupboard and grabbed two mugs, and poured up the coffee, and Spencer watched carefully as you went to the fridge and grabbed some creamer for yourself before you handed him his mug.

“The sugar is behind you.” You told him. “Spoons are in the drawer to your left.”

Naturally, you remembered how he liked his coffee. Black with regular sugar. It was something fond, that left an ache deep in his soul. He set to the gentle task of getting some sugar while he conjured up the courage to ask the question.

“Have you ever told him about me?” He asked. “I mean - have you told him about his father? Does he know who his dad is?”

He knew that obviously you hadn’t told Sebastian outright that Spencer was his father - not with a photo and a name. But he wondered if you had ever told him stories about who his father was - a doctor, a man who fought against bad guys. Did you only have room for malice against Spencer in your heart, or would have told Sebastian some of the good things about his dad? Had you told him how you and Spencer had met? Had you told him that the two of you were once in love?

He hated to think that you resented Spencer so much that you had lied. That you had made up some falsehood. Perhaps you had told Sebastian that his father was dead, or someone who never existed at all (because someone his age would believe that). Spencer’s insides flooded with anxiety at the thought that perhaps you had a boyfriend. Someone who was a fixture in Sebastian’s life already who the young boy called Dad.

Before Spencer could flare with too much jealousy at a completely made-up figure, you answered his question.

“I - ugh.” You stuttered out. “No.” You admitted hesitantly, capping the creamer and moving to put it back into the fridge.

You moved to sit down at the kitchen table and Spencer followed you with his own mug in hand. He found it quietly adorable that there was a rubber dinosaur placemat and a booster seat on one of the chairs - clearly the place where Sebastian sat to eat his meals. He pulled out the chair opposite of yours and carefully waited for you to continue talking.

“It was one of those things…” You stared down into your mug, a wave of embarrassment spiking in you.

Seeing how put together Spencer was now - how mature. It filled you with regret, and made you feel quite embarrassed about not contacting him before.

But the Spencer you had last seen was nothing like this. So previously, you had no intentions of seeking him out in order to introduce him to his son. But every time a major life event came up - toward the end of your pregnancy, the birth, filling out the birth certificate and leaving the section of his father’s name blank… The first time Sebastian sat upright on his own, his first words, seeing how truly intelligent he was, his first steps, potty training him.

Through all of it - you ached with regret. There were more than a dozen times (sometimes more than a dozen times a day) when you considered reaching out to Spencer and telling him the news. But you thought that he might lash out at you in anger for not telling him when you found out that you were pregnant. (And then you thought he would be even angrier for not telling him sooner).

You had considered that with his job, and with the other circumstances - he might be dead. That there might not even be someone on the other end if you did reach out.

You didn’t want to go looking for a father for your son, only to have to mourn over someone you once loved.

You didn’t want to open the door for more hurt to come your way.

“It was one of those things, that… the older he got… I never considered that he might ask.” You explained. “I just thought I could get away without telling him who his father was. Without talking about you at all. Because I was so hurt over what happened between us.”

Oddly enough, Spencer understood this. That night - things had been so messy. Spencer had always wanted a chance to apologize. He would have pushed harder - he would have chased after you better if he knew that there was a child hanging in the mix.

“You had no intention of ever finding me again to introduce me to my son?” Spencer asked.

He needed to hear you say it.

You shook your head, entirely solemn, even more guilty.

“It was selfish.” You admitted. “I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the pain of seeing you again. I didn’t consider how it might affect him.”

“So… he has been asking about me?” Spencer probed. “He’s been asking about his father?”

You shrugged.

“He’s old enough to understand the concept now.” You said, sipping your coffee. “He sees stuff on TV. Cartoons where characters have a Mom and a Dad. And he reads science books about animals - so he knows that other ‘species’ need two parents to ‘reproduce’.” You were almost annoyed by the fact that your son was so smart and still so young. You couldn’t trick him with gentle lies anymore. “I don’t think I can convince him that I am the only asexual reproducing woman on the planet.”

Spencer let out a harsh chuckle at this. He knew how it was at that age - too smart for his own good.

“What have you told him?” He wondered aloud.

“I have been trying my hardest not to tell him anything.” You replied. “Whenever he asks about his own father, I just… dodge around it.” You told him honestly. “What do you think all the strawberries are for? I mean, I can’t lie to him, but I can distract him. He’s still at the age where his attention span is not that great if he gets excited about something.”

“Would you be willing to have that conversation with him?” Spencer asked meekly. “The three of us? Would you - would you be okay with him knowing me as his dad?”

He was terrified that you might reject him. That you still hated him enough after that horrible night that you wouldn’t want your son to see Spencer as his father, even if it was the truth. (A truth that you and Spencer knew intimately well.)

“Spencer.” You choked out his name, looking at him with tears dancing in your eyes.

You knew that you had been harsh upon first seeing him again, perhaps unrightfully lashing out due to your own vendetta. But you didn’t think that you had made such a nasty impression.

“Of course. Spence, I-” You choked on your own words for a second, taking in a sharp breath in an attempt to regain your composure.

Spencer tried not to get excited at you calling him ‘Spence’ again for the first time in so long. He couldn’t take the familiarity, the sweet nickname as meaning the same thing it used to. He couldn’t take it as a signal of affection.

“Even if you and I can’t get back to where we were…” You continued on.

(Which would be something you would gratefully regret now, those feelings for him locked up inside of you, banging on the door, just begging to get out.)

“My son is so lucky to have you as his father. And I am sorry that it was due to my own selfishness that he missed out on you in his life for so many years.”

“It’s not all your fault.” Spencer replied. “You don’t have to apologize.”

You nodded at this, and the two of you fell silent once again.

Of course, both of you wished that you could go back to that night and do things differently.

You wished that you would have told him about the pregnancy as soon as you took the test - so if he was going to scorn you, he could make an informed choice about doing so.

Spencer wished that he could have chased you - that he could have been in his son’s life from day one.

Which made him curious about something.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” Spencer asked when it came to the forefront of his mind.

“Sure,” You sighed. “I think we have a few more minutes before you have to go.”

You chuckled, motioning toward the stairs - where Sebastian would surely be running down soon, waiting for Spencer to come and play with him, so Spencer could be shown all of his toys, introduced to each dinosaur by name and species.

“When did you find out that you were pregnant?” He asked. “Was it - was it before? Or after?”

He didn’t even have to fully spell it out in order for you to know exactly what he meant.

Had you known that you were pregnant when the two of you had broken up?

You could have easily lied to him. But just like every other moment on this day, stupidly - you felt like you owed him the truth.

“After.” You told him. “It - it was about two weeks after. When I took one of those at home tests. And I had already made up my mind that I never wanted to see you again. So just - then and there, I decided that I was gonna raise the kid alone.”

“You - you just unilaterally decided that you were going to raise my son alone?” Spencer snapped, some of that spite from early coming back like the coals from a fire being stoked.

“Yes. I did.” You said firmly.

You didn’t have to remind him of why.

Spencer sighed and rolled his eyes, and then plowed forward with another question.

“So - so do you know when-?” He began, and you cut him off.

‘Do you know when he was conceived?’

“No.” You quickly replied.

But it was a lie. You knew.

You felt like you couldn’t easily tell him the truth about this. If there was one thing you couldn’t afford to do right now, with Spencer Reid sitting at your kitchen table, staring at you with his big, inquisitive, glossy eyes, licking his lips, with his firm jaw set tight in contemplation - you couldn’t afford to go reminiscing with him about the night your son had been conceived.

You had spent a lot of time during your pregnancy thinking. Doing the math. Trying to remember.

And you knew exactly when.

The night was so vivid in your mind.

It was one of the last good memories you had with Spencer. It was one of the most perfect pictures you had of who he truly was before he came home from Georgia such a different person, and you had no clue why he had changed.

…

Spencer had come over to your place late one night.

He had a key, but usually he was afraid to wake you up by using it. But that night he had been swamped with paperwork, writing up consultations on cases less urgent for police precincts that the BAU couldn’t get out to attend to in person. Images of mangled bodies stuck in his mind and by the time he finished up, it was well past dinner - well past a decent hour to be seeing you. But his insides felt hollow with a unique kind of grief as he imagined all the people who wouldn’t be getting home to their families - the people in the photos.

He fingered over the key to your apartment on his keyring as he walked out the front doors of the office. He had taken the metro that day, and the last trains ran late into the night - until two or three am, to ensure that people drinking could get home safely. But he needed some fresh air, so he decided to walk. He took out his cellphone and decided to call you.

If he let himself into your apartment unexpectedly so late - he didn’t want to scare you.

“Spencer.”

Your voice had a breathy, airy quality to it. He wouldn’t quite call it tiredness, not like he had woken you from sleep.

“Y/N.” He called your name back softly. “Did I wake you?” He still wanted to ask, even though he wasn’t sure that was the case.

“No.” You replied. “I - I missed you, baby.”

The slightest quiver in your tone gave you away. That gentle, needy curl around the word baby - it practically brought him to his knees on the sidewalk.

All at once, his mood changed.

It was something beautiful that you often did for him.

Every single bit of brick-like grief was pushed out of him in favor of that flowery, dreamy lust.

“You missed me?” He parroted the words back, mischief seeping into his voice as he continued the walk toward your apartment on slightly weaker legs, the cool night air brushing up against his now heated cheeks. “You’ve been thinking about me a lot tonight, haven’t you, darling?”

You let out a fluttering moan. You knew that you had been caught, so you felt no sense in holding back now.

Spencer pulled his messenger bag to sit in front of his crotch, praying that he wouldn’t look indecent in public. It took so little effort from you to make his cock swell to attention - with his intense attraction toward you, and with you being so perfect, such a beacon of beauty and sex.

“You caught me.” You huffed out. “Been thinkin’ about you all night, baby. The bed feels so empty without you.”

You both knew that it was a subtle admission. The downright filthy way you said the word ‘empty’ - Spencer bit his lip to hold back a moan just hearing it. You knew that those clouded innuendos turned him on so much. The veil. The intention.

You were touching yourself, and Spencer had called with perfect timing to ‘catch you’ in the middle of the act.

If Spencer strained his ears enough, he could hear the wet slide of your fingers against your pussy on the other end of the line, and he knew that you could hear the increase in his breathing - the hard huff coming out of his nostrils because of it.

“Where are you?” You whined, clearly needy. “Need you, Spence.”

You hoped that he wasn’t too busy, caught up at work.

“On my way to you now.” He told you, his voice leaking desperate breaths.

He was already grinning widely at the thought of what would be waiting for him - how you would be leaking wetness, so warm and ready for him; how he would be able to simply slide his hard cock into you with no resistance and your gorgeous pussy would so eagerly swallow him up. He forced himself to focus.

“Wait for me, okay?” He added on, trying to have some firmness in his tone - but he knew that it sounded too much like pleading and you would be kind to comply.

Wait.

You let out a strained, harsh sound at this.

You knew that it was another subtle code.

He didn’t want you to make yourself orgasm until he got there. (You had already had one before he called, but it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as one by Spencer’s hand, or his tongue.)

He likely wanted you to stop touching yourself all together. He wanted to leave you on edge, to make you even more needy for him. Even if he would only take a few minutes to arrive, he wanted you hungry.

You had the urge to argue with this, but you held back.

You knew that it would be worth it.

Spencer always made it worth it.

“Okay.” You huffed back, an undertone of frustration in your voice that got Spencer even more excited. You needed him. And he planned on providing every single inch of what he knew you needed so badly. “I’ll wait.” You agreed. “But hurry? Please?”

Please.

The way you said it, asking so nicely - it nearly knocked the wind out of him. You would never truly have to ask him to touch you. Truthfully, he should have to ask for the privilege of providing you with pleasure. He would never say no to you.

But there was something beautiful about hearing that from your lustful voice.

“I’ll be there before you know it.” He promised you gently before hanging up the call.

Spencer would have broken out into a full run if - one, it wouldn’t have made him look entirely idiotic, and two, it wouldn’t have stolen all his energy. Energy that he needed in order properly fuck you. He didn’t need to arrive at your apartment sweaty and panting and then collapse onto the floor in a heap and miss out on his chance to make sweet love to you.

He got there as fast as his legs could carry him (at a reasonable pace), and he estimated that it took him less than four minutes - because your apartment really wasn’t that far from the office. Conveniently enough for him. He skipped the elevator ride and took the stairs two at a time in his eagerness (and long legs). And soon enough, he was putting the key into the lock, welcomed by gentle shadows, the smell he recognized as the air freshener you loved to use, and a single guiding light that must have been the tableside lamp in your bedroom.

“Spence?”

You called out from down the hall as he closed and locked the door behind him.

“It’s me.” He assured you.

He tossed his keys into a bowl that you kept on the counter, toeing off his shoes, ditching his bag off to the side, and shrugged off his jacket as he walked down the hall.

“That was fast.” You remarked with a giggle, making him smile.

“A lady should never have to wait.” He replied, coming to stand at your open bedroom door, already working open his tie.

“Then you better hurry up.” You told him, your voice melting into a purr as you stared at him with honey warm lust in your eyes.

You were completely naked, laying in the middle of the bed, propped up on a few comfortable pillows. The comforter was down by your ankles; perhaps you had crawled into bed with the intention to sleep (some of your sleep clothes strewn across the floor, as though you had stripped them off and tossed them aside) - but then found yourself feeling that deadly ache between your thighs and kicked away the covers to relief yourself.

Spencer had called you with perfect timing.

Perhaps your soul had sung out to him like a siren - luring him here to perform his duty to you, to act as the servant meant to bring you pleasure. He could think of no better duty meant for his existence than to serve you. Ideally, it was something he wanted to spend the rest of his days doing. He would buy you a house, give you kids if you wanted them, support you in whatever ways you needed. He felt like he lived to make your life better - to make you smile, to make you laugh, to make you moan with pleasure.

If he didn’t have that, then he was lost.

In the low lighting, the star shaped necklace that he had given you for your birthday sparkled between your breasts, and Spencer found that you were most gorgeous wearing only that - a kiss of his claim on you, a perfect symbol of the beauty of your relationship among your goddess-like curves.

He felt entirely overdressed and he rushed to play catch up; fingers fumbling over buttons, his movements becoming downright frantic as he stripped out of his clothes. He almost knocked his glasses off his face while ripping his shirt off his head, and he had to place them on your bedside table for safekeeping. And then he nearly tripped out of his pantlegs on his way to the bed, which had you giggling, and he flashed you a smile.

But finally, he was freed, as naked as you were, and he crawled between your open, welcoming thighs. It felt like coming home. Your hands reached up to settle onto his ass - gently smoothing from the skin there, up his back, spreading warmth across his body as you groped him smoothly with soft, open hands.

He planted one hand on the pillow beside your head and used the other to gently lift your chin toward his. He captured your lips in a smooth, knowing, passionate kiss - you didn’t hesitate to moan into his mouth, and Spencer echoed it right back. He had missed you so much during the day. Even though he had seen you less than forty-eight hours before this, he felt decades of yearning in his heart.

He really should ask you to move in with him soon.

Even if he had to be away for days on cases, he should get to come home to you.

The two of you should start building a proper life together.

But of course, any thoughts about the clippings of property listings that Spencer had hidden away in a desk drawer fled from his mind when you rubbed your knee across his thigh, sending shivers through him - reminding him exactly what he was here for.

Typically, he would be the kind of man to go down on you, thoroughly, before he fucked you. He loved the feeling of your legs tightening around his head - he loved the taste of you on his tongue.

But when he felt the bare head of his cock bump up against your entrance, smearing your wetness over him - his self control broke down. He had missed you so much. He realized that he needed you just as badly as you needed him. He moaned even harder against your mouth, and he pulled away from the kiss with a huff, moving his hand to your hip.

Then, he asked a very important question.

“Do you have a condom?”

It broached the front of his mind, then, that he hadn’t brought one with him.

He knew that you typically kept a box of condoms in your bedside table. But the last time he had reached for one, the box had been empty. And he had resorted to using ‘the emergency condom’ that he kept in his bag. He didn’t have one in his bag now and he wasn’t sure if you had gotten a new box of condoms for the nightstand.

While he contemplated all of this, he kissed along the side of your breast, and then gently tongued at your necklace, still loving how it looked against your bare skin.

“You don’t need one.” You breathed out in reply.

You combed your hand through his hair, raking your nails across his scalp in a way that made his hips unconsciously buck forward. It was something that made it far more difficult for him to concentrate. Especially when he felt more of that warm wetness smear across him, his cock just barely dipping into your heat.

He didn’t entirely care to decipher the meaning behind your words. He simply trusted you.

(Later, when he was looking back on it, he would have guessed that you meant you were taking your oral birth control consistently. Or that you meant to pick up a Plan B pill in the morning. But looking back on it now - it was the only time within those last months of your relationship that the two of you didn’t use a condom. You were urging him on, and maybe, at the time - a baby truly was what you had in mind.)

“Please, Spencer.” You begged quietly. “I need you. Just you.”

He wasn’t one to deny you anyway. And he certainly wasn’t going to deny himself of this.

He reached down and used a hand around the base of his cock to help line himself up - and then he gently guided the length of his cock into you.

This was always his favorite part.

The gasp - the lilting moan you let out when his cock first slid into you, the way your thighs flexed around his hips - it was all so perfect.

But it was even more perfect without the barrier of a condom in the way. Spencer always thought that it was a myth, men talking about how condoms actually reduced the feeling. It was such a thin piece of latex, how could it truly affect the overall sexual experience that much? Sex with you was so amazing, he couldn’t possibly imagine it getting any better.

But this - this was so much better.

He could feel your wetness sliding against every inch of his cock, he could feel your heat drowning him, he could feel every little clench you made - every little movement. He felt like he was truly drowning inside of you. Like he was being smothered inside of your perfect body.

His head collapsed against your breast, and he sucked in a sharp breath, struggling through it all, as though he was trying to swim through thick, warm honey. His head was hazier than it had ever been - if someone asked him to recite a most basic fact at this moment, he wouldn’t be able to.

“Spence,”

You whined, arching your hips into him, forcing your pelvis into him just slightly more - he felt your pubic hairs grazing against the base of his cock, the sensitive head of his cock angling at a new place inside of you. He let out a pathetic moan, struggling not to cum too early.

“Move, please.” Your voice was breathy, and desperate, and he had to remind himself of his purpose - bringing you pleasure.

“Yes.” He sighed, trying to regain his composure. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just-”

Whatever else you were going to say was promptly cut off when Spencer put both hands on your hips and bent his knees slightly, gaining the traction needed to properly fuck you.

He didn’t initiate a brutal or rough pace, but he pistoned his hips well enough to take the air out of you. His movements rang a moan out of your lungs as pleasure hummed through your body, finally getting what you had been craving all night. You loved the feeling of his long cock finally plunging in and out of you, especially without the barrier of a condom. It was enough to create the delightfully filthy sound of skin smacking through the air, well timed with the chorus of moans that began to echo out from your lips. Something that was complemented by Spencer’s own grunting and whining - something he tried to partially hide by biting his lip.

It was perfect. It was so easy, came so naturally between the two of you. It was a perfect rhythm between your bodies that came from knowing each other so well, feeling so at ease with each other. It was a perfect dance that made your entire body relax - the beautiful tingle of knowing that he was touching you.

“Thank you.” You moaned, reaching around to plant your hands on Spencer’s ass again. “Fuck, thank you.”

You bent your knees and spread your thighs more, angling your body perfectly for him to fuck into you even deeper. At the same time, you used your hold on him to pull him closer - to shove his cock even deeper into you. Something that both of you grunted harshly at. It wasn’t just out of the visceral need to have him inside of you; it was the pure yearning to feel close to him, to have him as physically close as possible.

With your wetness gathering around the base of his cock and dripping down over his balls - with your hot, thrumming cunt squeezing over him, he was getting dangerously close.

“Y/N.” He warbled out your name, almost as a warning.

“It’s okay.” You breathed back. “Cum for me. Come on, please.”

Spencer couldn’t resist - not when you said ‘please’.

The sound that came from his chest could only be described as a cry, and you forcibly held him close by digging your nails into the flesh of his ass. Any fleeting thought he might have had about pulling out left his brain in a millisecond. Especially when he felt your tightness fluttering around him, his hips unconsciously fucking deep into you, his body loving the feeling of being held tightly there while your cunt milked him for all he was worth.

He certainly didn’t miss the sweet moans you let out - the bright eyed awe you started up at him with as you felt his cum fill you up for the first time.

Spencer collapsed on top of you - even as tired as he was, he was careful not to hurt you by putting too much of his body weight onto you. (Even though you professed that you liked feeling his weight on top of you because he didn’t weigh all that much).

“Wow.” Spencer breathed into your neck - finding himself speechless after such a fantastic moment.

“That - that was amazing.” You remarked, breathless.

After a few moments, his cock began to go flaccid and slipped out of you, and he still felt your pussy practically beating with heat. He was reminded of something.

“You haven’t had an orgasm.” He mumbled quietly.

“It’s okay, I-”

‘I made myself cum earlier.’

Your words were cut off as Spencer descended down between your thighs. He felt his cock twitch with interest at the sight of his thick, white cum leaking out of your used cunt, mixing with your clear wetness.

So perfect.

He didn’t hesitate before putting his hands on your thighs, holding your legs apart while he shoved his tongue deep inside of you - partially with the purpose of cleaning up his own mess and partially with the newfound curiosity to taste what the two of you were like together.

You gripped onto his hair and moaned out, not a single complaint to be found on your lips.

It was the most perfect night that either of you could have imagined. All topped off by falling asleep in each other’s arms after a hot shower together.

Three days later, Spencer was called away on a case in Atlanta, Georgia that changed his life forever.

…

‘Do you know when he was conceived?’

“No.”

Spencer could see the lie reflected in your body language - how closed off you became, how quickly you rushed to cut off his words. Along with the intense heat reflected in your eyes. You were thinking about that night.

He thought he knew exactly which night you were thinking about - if his memory served him well enough. Which it usually did.

He couldn’t hold himself back from calling you on it.

He locked his eyes on yours across the table, the memory of that night possessing him - the ghost of your warm skin pressing against his own only further driving the words from his lips.

“Don’t lie to me.” He said, his voice a deadly, low rumble. “Look at me now, and tell me in all honesty that you don’t remember that night. Tell me that you don’t remember the way I felt inside of you. Tell me you don’t remember how good it was.”

Maybe it was pure spite on Spencer’s end. Desperately wanting to know that after all the resentment, the arguing, the years he had lost with his son, with you, that you still felt something for him underneath the anger and the annoyance.

Even if that underlying thing was lust. It was a strange victory, but he mentally cheered when he saw you clench your thighs together past the table - when your jaw tightened up. Your fingers twitched, and he knew you well enough to see the subtle signs of your lust from a mile away.

Old habits die hard.

Spurred on by this, and your steely silence, he kept going.

“Tell me that you don’t remember how perfect we were together - how good it felt when it was just us, nothing but skin on skin for the first time.”

You exhaled sharply.

“Spencer, we are not doing this right now.” You declared, your voice quivering slightly in your throat.

This didn’t deter him.

It was your use of the words ‘right now’ - even if unconsciously, you thought that there might be a ‘later’.

(In your mind, having sex with your ex, the father of your child, just to get off, sounded like the worst idea ever. But he looked so good and you knew that he was good in bed and if you had to be cooped up in the house with him for much longer, you would be making that stupid decision against your own will.)

“Tell me you don’t remember how good it felt when I came inside you that night.”

Spencer’s words were becoming more graphic now, looking to get more of a reaction out of you.

It worked in an instant - you swallowed thickly, your whole body tingling with the imagery his voice carried. The underlying lustful rumble in his tone making your insides quake. Your leg twitched with that unconscious desire to have some friction between your thighs. It was working so well, and he hated how much he loved it.

“I mean - what was your intention that night? Did you want me to fuck a baby into you? Is that why you were so desperate for me to fuck you raw? Is that why you kept pushing my cock deeper inside of you? Were you just that desperate to get knocked up?”

His words were making you utterly dizzy with heat. If it wasn’t for the common sense blinking loudly at the front of your brain, you would have jumped across the table and tackled him just to hump him for some sort of friction on your aching cunt.

Of course, he could read this plainly all over your face.

“Spencer-” You breathed out.

Just then, Spencer’s phone rang, cutting through the dangerously palpable tension in the air.

He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and when he saw Morgan’s contact name on the screen, he thought for certain that the man was calling to discuss some development in the case.

“I have to take this.” Spencer sighed.

“That’s fine.” You nodded. You were glad to have some relief from the dangerous tension - you needed a few minutes to collect yourself.

Spencer got up from the table and naturally moved toward the back door - a sliding glass door that he was disappointed to find unlocked. He would have to remind himself to have a talk with you about having better security protocols in your home, even during daylight hours.

Spencer closed the door behind himself, creating a small barrier of privacy as he answered the call.

“Hello.”

“Hey, pretty boy,” Morgan chuckled.

Spencer rolled his eyes, immediately knowing that this wasn’t a work call - this wasn’t anything serious in nature for Morgan to be greeting him that way.

“What do you want?” Spencer replied, his patience already in short supply.

“Oh, come on, man.” Morgan kept up that airy, light tone. “You think you can sneak around with your secret little family and not have it be the hottest gossip we’ve had in years? I wanna hear more about this kid of yours. Me and Prentiss got a bet, goin’ - so, was it an accident or not? Did you really know what you were doin’ when you stuck your little genius thang in her back then? Or no?”

Reid was going to kill JJ. (Well, not really. He was likely just going to glare at her firmly and ignore her for a day - or, just until she apologized.)

He knew that it had likely been an accident - the information about his private life getting leaked to the entire team. But, if JJ could keep important information about killings away from the media, why couldn’t she keep this out of the team’s hands? Why couldn’t she have made up some excuse about where Reid was?

“No, no.” Spencer ground out harshly, reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I am not telling you if my son’s conception was an accident or not just to satisfy some stupid bet.”

“Ooh, a son.” Morgan seemed stuck on this piece of information. “Rossi, you owe me a drink. It is a boy.”

Reid heard Rossi and Prentiss arguing in the background, and he let out another frustrated sigh.

“Don’t you have work you should be doing?” Spencer asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Hotch has us spinning our wheels here.” Morgan replied. “Goin’ through more of these daycare forms while Garcia runs more background checks - but, so far, we’ve come up with squat. Your Baby Mama is the only real lead we’ve got so far.”

Reid sighed.

“So, was it a one night stand? An epic night of passion?” He chuckled, still using a teasing tone.

Spencer didn’t answer.

“At least tell me this - is she cute? What was it about this woman that got Doctor Reid to chase after his Darwin instincts for once?” Morgan pressed on.

“She’s beautiful.” Spencer replied without even thinking, his eyes looking at you through the glass door. “She… she’s perfect in every conceivable way.”

Sebastian had come back down stairs, clearly looking for Spencer. And now you had him in your lap, still sitting on your kitchen chair, playing with a couple of plastic dinosaurs that he had brought down from his bedroom on the tabletop.

There was a distinct, humble beauty in the fact that you didn’t know you were currently under Spencer’s attention. You looked at Sebastian with such intense love in your eyes - a way you had once looked at Spencer, before that love had been replaced by scorn and disdain. Before he had messed it all up.

“Woah.” Morgan wisped in reply. “That sounds like a whole lot more than just one night of baby makin’.”

Maybe he was still fishing for information to ‘win’ the bet, maybe not. Spencer couldn’t quite tell from his tone alone. But he did sound a bit more serious, and that wedged Spencer open a bit more in order to feel comfortable continuing.

“It was.” Spencer sighed. “She - she was the love of my life.” He added on, feeling safe to tell Morgan this. “But I messed it all up.”

Morgan instantly dropped his joking and teasing when he heard the choked off tears in Spencer’s voice.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Long story.” Spencer sighed. “But - it ends with me being excluded from my son’s life. For a good reason.”

“I don’t see any good reason why you shouldn’t be allowed to see your kid.” Morgan replied. “Reid, I’ve seen you with kids, man. If anybody deserves to be a father, it’s you.”

“I was different back then. Around the time she got pregnant.” He explained. “It was just after Hankel.”

There was a tense silence as Morgan sat with the truth - as he absorbed it. Clearly, he was unsure of what to say, and Spencer found himself naturally continuing on.

“He’s so smart.” He added on, looking at the way Sebastian ran his fingers along the neck of the brontosaurus - maybe he had brought that one down for Spencer, remembering that he had said it was his favorite. “He’s such a good kid.”

He almost choked on these words, more tears welling up that he forcefully pushed down.

He turned away from the glass door then, just in case you looked up to see his tearful face. He wiped his eyes with a stiff hand, and he was surprised by what Morgan said next.

“So be good to him.” He said. “Be there for him now. Step up and be the dad that we all know you can be.”

Before he could reply, Morgan continued.

“I don’t know if I believe in fate, but Penelope always says that everything happens for a reason.” He said. “And she would tell you to use this as an opportunity to be reunited with your girl, and become a real family. Even if it is because of some scumbag killing people that brought us here.”

Spencer smiled at this.

“That is very Garcia.”

“And you know she’s always right.”

...

Continue reading here: Chapter Four - Last Hope

#sundrop writes #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #dad!spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction

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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

Text

➪the one where ethan can’t keep his hands off you during a group dinner. (requested)

Warnings: dirty talk, fingering, ethan being a cheeky bastard again, public smut, smut, all that fun stuff | I just found out that Ethan pulled a Jill and killed his mother for disagreeing with the plan. Dudes crazier than I thought but I still love him.

Word Count: 3k | Ethan Masterlist

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

“Ethan, stop it,” you muttered, swatting his hand away from you as you moved a few inches from him. You could only move so far as the backseat provided very little space for you to put some distance between the two of you.

“I’m not doing anything,” he gave you his signature grin, letting you know that he knew exactly what he was doing. You looked forward and were thankful to see Chad and Mindy still lost in conversation, one of his hands on the wheel while his other waved around in an attempt to get his sister to understand whatever it was he was saying.

In other words, they seemed to be oblivious to the way Ethan’s hand kept finding itself on your thigh, his fingers inching closer and closer to the hem of your dress. Anika, who was sitting to the right of Ethan while you were to his left, didn’t seem to notice it either.

“Something wrong, baby?” Ethan asked quietly, grinning at your flushed face.

“No, nothings wrong,” you force out a smile, grabbing his wrist and shoving his hand away when it creeped up your leg again. “It just seems as though someone’s got a case of wandering hands.”

He hummed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the side of your head, keeping his mouth against your skin when he mumbled, “If you could see yourself from my eyes, you’d understand,” he pulled away and you squinted at him. “You look hot.”

Rolling your eyes, you grab his hand again, but instead of throwing it off you, your fingers lace with his and lock them in place. You give him a shrug and smirk, watching the way his lips turned into a pout.

“Hey,” Chad’s voice made you both look over at him, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror. “What’s going on back there?”

Mindy and Anika turn to look at you as well and you sink into Ethan’s side, a wave of embarrassment washing over you. “Nothing, roomie,” Ethan replied, slipping his hand from yours and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. He pulls you closer to him, his hand dropping to your waist in a tight grip. “Y/n just gets car sick sometimes.”

Mindy gives you a look of pity. “Awh, Y/n,” she reaches behind her and places a comforting hand on your exposed knee. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”

She turns back around and resumes the conversation with her brother after that, her hand falling from your knee. Ethan leaned down so his mouth was close to your ear, his lips brushing against it as he asked, “How come you let her touch you and not me?”

You hold back a laugh and look up at him. “Because she’s not a perv,”

He lets out a quiet gasp, his hand giving your side a gentle slap that had you jumping slightly. You grow concerned when you feel a bit turned on by that. “And I am?”

“You know you are,” you reply, grinning at the shrug he gives you before he presses his lips to yours. His hand inches lower once again, his index finger drawing teasing circles on the skin of your inner thigh. Your hand grabs his wrist but does nothing to stop it from inching closer, making him smirk into the kiss.

His free hand reaches over and tugs your leg up so it’s draped over his, the hand closest to you continuing to venture your body. The revealing fabric of your black dress did nothing to keep his hand from finding the most private part of you, the pads of his fingers pressing against the place that had you jolting and curling your body closer to his.

Ethan was never this touchy in public. Sure, he almost always had a hand on you, whether that was locked in one of yours, an arm thrown around your shoulder, or even his hand placed on your hip. But he was never this handsy, and especially not in front of your friends. He preferred to have you squirming like this in the privacy of either your room or his, away from the prying eyes of everyone else.

It was to be expected, to be fair. You had gotten ready at his place, your body covered by the tight yet comfortable dress. You stood in front of the mirror, decorated in random, boyish stickers that proved a guy fresh out of high school was the one who lived in this room. That, mixed with the clutter and piles of laundry, it was definitely a ‘guy’s’ space.

As you applied a matte rose shade to your lips, you failed to notice the fact that Ethan, who had been sitting on his bed a few feet away the entire time, hadn’t taken his eyes off you since you let yourself into his room, your curves prominent through your dress.

Fuck, he had no idea how he got so lucky with you.

Boring, average Ethan was dating the hottest girl on campus. His brother would be so proud of him.

As you touched up your natural makeup, Ethan’s teeth dug into his bottom lip, his eyes fixated on your body. When you turned to him and gave him a smile, that was when he stood up and slowly walked over to you.

You tried to ignore the fact that, even in your heels, he was still towering over you. A sense of pride settled deep in your core as you strained your neck to look up at him. “Maybe we should just stay in tonight,” he offered, his hands finding home on your hips.

Gathering up your inner strength and finding a sliver of resistance, you gently place your hands flat against his chest and give him a small push. “And have Anika get pissed at us for bailing again?” You ask and watch as a look of realization flashes across his face, now remembering the last time he convinced you to stay in and how mad she was. “We can’t.” You add and press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away from him.

“Fine,” he said nonchalantly, reaching for his wallet that was among the clutter on his desk. “But don’t be surprised if I can’t keep my hands off you tonight.”

You laughed then, but only now realized how serious he actually was as he had not taken his hands off of you for more than a few seconds since you got in the car.

A warm blush heats your face as you move closer to Ethan, if that was even possible at this point, and his finger presses a bit harder against your covered clit. You refrain from bucking your hips upwards to create more friction, something he probably wanted you to do, now that you thought of it.

“Ethan,” you warned against his mouth, pulling away just enough to be able to see his full face. His brown eyes held a glint of mischief, a knowing smirk on his lips as he subtly moved his hand closer to you, his finger running along the lining of the dark blue fabric that kept you covered from his wandering hand. “You’re awful.”

He just laughed quietly. “How so? I told you back at my place,” he pointed out. “I warned you.”

Before you could reply, the car came to a stop outside a small restaurant. Mindy turned around and faced you, “We’re here,” she grinned at you, her loud voice making you jump and push your boyfriend’s hand away from you. “Hopefully you feel better after you get some food into you.”

You force a smile and take your seatbelt off, your hand on the door handle when Ethan leaned over so his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear. “That’s not the only thing that will be getting into you,” your face heats up again and he presses a quick kiss to your temple before reaching over and opening the door for you.

You quickly exit the car, the chilled air helping ease the burn you felt in both your face and core. Ethan wraps his arm around your shoulders and closes the door with the hand of his other as Danny and the Carpenter sisters, who had been driving behind Chad the whole time, walk the short distance to regroup. “Jesus, Chad, could you have picked a place further away?” Sam muttered as she wrapped her coat around her tighter.

“Honestly, yeah, I could’ve,” he answered as you waited outside the doors to the restaurant. “We’ve been to the local places so many times now, so I thought we should try some place away from the city. Plus, I heard the steak here is the best in New York.”

“Yeah, because that’s important,” Tara said and Chad shrugged, nudging Ethan with his fist.

“It is,” he said when Ethan returned the fist bump. “We’re growing men and need real food, not those healthy salads you girls are all hooked on.”

You rolled your eyes as you rub your hand up your arm when the wind picked up just a bit, making you repress a shiver. “I told you to bring a coat,” Ethan mumbled as he pulled his arms out of his dark blue jacket, leaving him in a black henley that went well with his dark jeans and converse.

“And I told you it would ruin my outfit,” you say back and watch as he rolls his eyes before draping the jacket across your shoulders, reaching down to take your hand afterwards. “But thank you, this looks and feels much better.”

You stand on the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his jaw, aiming for his cheek but failing to do so as he was the tallest guy you’ve ever met and still somehow managed to tower over you every time you wore heels.

The group was escorted inside after that and led over to the large table at the back, the lights dim and giving the atmosphere a dark and closed off setting. When you were all seated - Ethan beside you, Anika beside him, Mindy beside her, Tara next to her, Sam, Danny and then Chad on your other side - and had a good look at the menu, Sam took it upon herself to ask, “So, what’s everyone getting?”

Chad, who hadn’t even picked up his menu, sat back and crossed his arms. “The steak, duh,”

Anika rolled her eyes as she answered the older sister with her order. As everyone else began answering her as well, Ethan quickly became bored and placed his right hand on your thigh, his left arm resting on the back of your chair. You tense up almost instantly, glaring at him as he looked over at Sam.

“Don’t you dare,” you whisper in warning. You weren’t sure what you’d do if Ethan were to tease you like he did in the car. Sure, that setting wasn’t private at all, seeing as your friends were literally right there, but at least you were around people you knew and it was dark. This was a restaurant full of strangers and the lighting, though it was dim, wasn’t nearly as dark as the car was. “Please, don’t.”

Ethan just withheld a smirk as Sam turned to face you. “Y/n/n, what are you getting?”

You open your mouth to answer but it was then when Ethan decided to be the worst boyfriend in the world as his hand disappeared under your dress and his thumb pressed to your clothed clit. You bite back a moan, jumping in your seat slightly and leaning closer to him. “I…um,”

Sam gives you a concerned look before Mindy spoke up, “She’s got an upset stomach right now. She gets car sick,”

“Oh,” Sam frowns, her brows pressing together in pity.

“It’ll pass,” you say through clenched teeth, your hand gripping Ethan’s knee under the table. Your nails dig into the rough material as his finger begins to apply more pressure to your nerves. “I was looking at the parm.”

Sam nods then looks at Ethan, completely oblivious to what was happening under the table. “What about you?”

“Same as her,” he simply answered, earning a scoff from Chad.

“Weak, dude, I was rooting for you,”

Ethan just shrugged and gave him a boyish grin - all while his hand tugged on the lace and pushed it aside, exposing your core to his greedy fingers. Before you could even muster up the strength to warn him again, his index finger easily slipped into you, proving his words he said in the car and making them into a reality.

Though it wasn’t uncommon for Ethan and you to be affectionate in public, this was completely new to you. You had never been…touched like this in public, so to say your heart was racing would be an understatement.

You press your face against his shoulder, disguising your breathy moan as a quiet groan, acting as if you actually weren’t feeling well when it was far from the truth. Ethan hummed in secret approval, his chin resting on the top of your head. “It’s okay, baby,” he murmured and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “You’ll feel better soon.”

The waitress came over and gave you all a kind smile, her eyes narrowing in concern when she saw how you were hunched over your boyfriend. “Are you okay, honey?” She asked sweetly, making you lift your head in embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say quietly, giving her a forced smile as Ethan’s finger steadily began pumping in and out of you. “It was just a long drive, but I’m okay.” You add to try and make it seem more convincing.

“Oh, I see,” she nods in understanding, grabbing her pen from her belt. “Well, let’s get your order then so you’re not sitting on an empty stomach.”

You could’ve cried in relief when she looked away from you and towards Sam, who gave her everyone’s order as if she was a mother ordering for her kids. She kind of was, to be honest. She was the mother of the group, something you all agreed on when she was out of earshot one night.

Your hand gripped his bicep tightly, your nails seeming to not hurt him at all as they dug into his skin. “Ethan,” you whispered desperately, your legs trying to close around his hand. “Please.”

He didn’t answer as his middle finger joined the one already buried inside of you. You squirmed some more, your shaky hand reaching over to grip the glass of water before bringing it to your lips.

You weren’t able to get even one sip of the drink before Ethan curled his fingers, making you inhale sharply, the glass nearly slipping from your grasp. You glare up at him when you feel your side dampen due to the water you had just accidently spilled.

Before you could cuss him out, he ducks his head down to press his lips to yours. He successfully silenced your moans of surprise as his fingers picked up the pace, the edge of his middle one grazing the most sensitive part you had inside of you.

“I can’t,” you whimpered quietly against his mouth before hiding your face in the space between his neck and shoulder.

It was all too much, too dirty.

Here you were, allowing your boyfriend to fuck his fingers into you in the back corner of a crowded restaurant while you pretend you were car sick.

You would be lying if you said that the very real possibility of getting caught didn’t turn you on to no end. The public setting only amplified the feeling he was currently providing you with, your hips refraining from lifting to increase the pressure building within you.

Ethan, so selfless, kept calm and collected while he worked to get you off in the way he knew you deserved, hard on be damned so long as he got to watch you unravel.

The way he shielded your face away from the eyes of the others, as if to spare at least some of your dignity while you tried not to let out loud moans, was undeniably hot.

Ethan grinned when he heard your soft whisper of his name against his neck, his fingers never stopping their assault to your core. To get you closer to the edge a bit quicker, despite wanting to prolong this as much as he could, his thumb returns to your clit, where it traces circles that had your legs shaking.

You shakily exhale, your throat releasing a quiet moan that had his hand moving even quicker. You felt your stomach muscles tense and your body went stiff as you pressed your face closer to him, your hands desperately holding onto his arm as he took the glass from you with his free hand before returning that arm back to your chair.

“Come on, baby,” he spoke quietly so only you could hear, his eyes fixated on the way your hand gripped his wrist. “Come for me in front of all our friends.”

His words, mixed with the relentless movement of his fingers, had your eyes squeezing shut, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you felt the knot that had formed inside you snap.

You moan breathlessly against his neck while he peers around the table, relieved to see that no one was paying too close attention to you, otherwise you would’ve been caught.

You lift your head from his shoulder, a thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead as he pulls his hand away from you.

Then, as discreetly and nonchalantly as he could, he raises his hand and sucks his fingers one by one. You watch in awe, your mind reeling and face burning as he leaned over to whisper in your ear, “Say you’re going to the washroom,” he murmured. “I’ll meet you there in five.”

#scream 6 ethan #ethan scream 6 #scream 6 x reader #ethan landry imagines #ethan landry x reader #angst #fluff #scream 6 #ethan landry #scream 6 imagines #ethan landry smut

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weemssapphic · 4 months

Note

Could I request a fluff fic for Miranda :0?

Maybe the weathers getting colder, cuffing szn etc Miranda falls for one of her neighbors who keeps bringing her baked goods, she’s unaware that said neighbor likes her!!! (unaware queen). Literally anything cute and sweet to get me thru the treacherous winter of Northern Europe HAHA

A/N: Hello! Sooooo a. this became a bit more of a Christmas fic than a winter fic, I hope that's okay, and b. I also failed to finish it before Christmas as I had originally planned 🥴 buuut I do hope you enjoy anyway! HUGE shoutout to @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze and @agathaandgwenslesbian for beta'ing and hyping me up to post this, I love you both 🥺💖

Merry Christmas, Baby

Words: ~6.3k | ao3 link in title Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking, cigarettes/smoking

You’ve been living in your new apartment for about three months now, after leaving home and moving all the way to Australia for work. You like to think you’ve settled in well: you’re starting to get into a routine, you’ve managed to decorate most of your apartment and make it feel like home, Sydney isn’t as daunting as it was in the beginning - you were even able to give a tourist directions the other day.

The only thing missing is, well, friends. You get along well enough with your coworkers, they’ve been welcoming and have even started to invite you out. But more weekends than not you find yourself exploring the city on your own or hanging out on your couch with takeout, watching Netflix and thinking about your friends back home. You try to FaceTime them as often as you can, but the time difference makes it hard, and sometimes it makes you sad to ‘see’ them and know you can’t just meet up like you used to.

To stave off some of the loneliness you’ve been feeling, you’ve spent the past few weeks attempting to meet more people - and one person in particular has caught your eye: your neighbor, Miranda. You met her in the hallway during your first week in the building - she’d come up the stairs as you were fumbling with your keys, struggling a bit as your arms were full of groceries. She’d immediately offered to help, her eyes wide and her smile bright as she’d rushed over to you and grabbed the grocery bags right out of your hands. The way she looked down at you, watching your every move with great interest as you unlocked your door, brought a flush to your cheeks that only got worse during the subsequent small talk.

Your interactions since then have been a bit sparse - you keep hoping you’ll catch a glimpse of her in the hallway, but you rarely do. Sometimes you’ll hear her apartment door fall shut late at night as you’re falling asleep, or you’ll hear her footsteps on the stairs early in the morning while you’re still getting ready - wherever she works, she seems to have irregular shifts.

~~~

It’s a Sunday evening and you’re spending it alone (again). When your friend back home had canceled your scheduled FaceTime call at the last minute, you’d decided to distract yourself by baking. As you put together the ingredients for blueberry muffins, you find your mind wandering to your tall, blonde neighbor - wondering what it is she does for work, where she’s from (you thought you caught a British accent but you weren’t sure anymore), whether or not she’s seeing anyone…

The sound of the timer pulls you out of your thoughts and you turn off the oven and pull the muffin tray out, setting it on the counter. Your heart sinks when you realize there’s no way you’re going to finish them all by yourself. You suppose you could bring some to work… You bite your lip, your brow furrowing as you stare down the baked goods. Perhaps you could bring Miranda some? Butterflies erupt in your tummy when you picture her opening her front door, her lips stretching into a smile that reaches her bright blue eyes. Perhaps she would invite you in, perhaps the two of you would spend the evening on her couch, getting closer by the hour as you get to know one another. Perhaps…

You shake your head, trying not to get ahead of yourself. You’ll just stop by with a few muffins and see what happens. Maybe she’ll be busy. Or she won’t even be home and you’ll be forced to leave them next to her door.

After preparing a small basket of baked goods and changing from your rattiest sweatpants into a pair of jeans, you slip out of your apartment and cross the hall. Your heart begins to pound, your hands turning clammy as you bring your fist up to Miranda’s door. After a brief moment’s hesitation and a deep breath, you knock.

At first, you’re met with silence - your heart sinks a bit, and you try to ignore the little pang of disappointment that begins to creep up on you. But just as you’re about to turn around, you hear a shuffling behind the door. It opens just a crack - you hear an “Oh!” - and then it swings open fully, revealing Miranda in a navy bathrobe. Her hair is wet, slicked back - one strand falls over her eyebrow and she pushes it back, a smile growing on her lips as she looks down at you.

“Hello,” she says, sounding a little breathless. You feel yourself flush as you realize you must have caught her just out of the shower - perhaps it took her so long to answer the door because she wasn’t dressed yet, and the thought makes you slightly dizzy.

“Hi.” You can’t help but gawk a bit, and the thought of just dropping the muffins at her feet and leaving before you can make a fool of yourself briefly crosses your mind.

Her brows furrow slightly and so do yours, before you realize that you should probably say something else.

“I just wanted to…” You gesture vaguely at the basket you’re holding. “If this is a bad time, I can come back later,” you manage to stutter out, focusing all your efforts on keeping your eyes on her face.

“Oh, you’re alright,” Miranda says, craning her neck a bit to catch a glimpse at what you’re holding. “Are those muffins?”

“Yeah. For you.” You thrust your arms out, holding the basket towards her. Her eyes widen, darting between you and the basket as she takes it from you.

Her entire face seems to light up with excitement - she looks positively giddy. “Did you make these?”

“Yes! Yeah. I like baking. And I made too many. So I thought I would see if you want some.”

The smile that’s broken out across Miranda’s face is one you wish you could save and put in your pocket to look at on your worst days. It lights up her entire face, making her eyes sparkle and her nose crinkle - it’s the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen. You’re so distracted by it that you nearly miss her next words.

“Would you like to come in? I was going to make some tea.”

“Sure.”

You blush as Miranda steps aside, allowing you to step over the threshold of her apartment. She shuts the door behind you then walks past you into her kitchen. Even the way she walks is attractive to you - the mesmerizing sway of her hips, the way she pushes her shoulders back and swings her arms, her long strides. Taking a deep breath, you follow her and lean against the door frame, watching as she sets down the muffins on the counter and puts on the electric kettle.

“I didn’t know if you’d be home,” you say, breaking the silence. You’re a bit embarrassed that your voice comes out hoarse, and you clear your throat. “I don’t see you around much. Do you do shift work?”

Miranda glances back at you as she rummages through the cupboards for two mugs. She smiles softly. “Sort of. I’ve been on call a lot lately.”

“Oh.” You cock your head to the side. “What do you do?”

“I’m, uh, a police constable.”

Your eyes widen as you process the information. It makes sense, you realize - and then you feel your mouth go dry as you picture Miranda in a police uniform.

“What do you do?”

Her question breaks you out of your trance, and you can feel your cheeks turn red. “Oh, um, that’s… I work in accounting.” You swallow back your embarrassment at having a “boring” desk job, your eyes darting around Miranda’s kitchen - anything to avoid meeting her gaze.

“Steady work then,” she says - you can hear the smile in her voice and you dare to steal a glance at her face. Her expression is soft, completely at ease, and you can’t help but feel your shoulders relax a little. “How come you moved to Sydney? Did you move here for a guy?”

A sound between a snort and a chuckle escapes your lips and you quickly look away again. “Nope.” You want to say that you’re more into women, but you get nervous and something stops you. “I just needed a change of scenery. I figured moving to an English-speaking country would be easiest, and I thought the weather here would be nicer than in the UK.”

Miranda laughs a full-belly laugh, throwing her head back. “I’m from the UK, you know.”

“Tell me I’m wrong then,” you tease with a grin.

Her eyes flicker briefly over your form, an amused grin on her face. “You’re… you’re not wrong.” She ducks her head in surrender - then the kettle goes off and she turns to busy herself with preparing the tea.

“So why did you move to Sydney then?”

“My boyfriend at the time was Australian.” Miranda hands you one of the mugs, then leans back against the counter, taking a sip of her own tea and observing you carefully. You try not to let on to the way that your stomach sinks when you hear the word “boyfriend” - it doesn’t mean she’s straight, you remind yourself (and besides, even if she did like women - it doesn’t mean she’d like you). You nod and hum in acknowledgment, hoping to come off as casual and unaffected as you sip your tea.

Miranda sets down her mug and reaches over the small kitchen table to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Once again you find yourself mesmerized as long, slender fingers pull a cigarette out of the pack, placing it between her pale lips as she lights it.

For a moment, she seems unaware of your presence - she takes a deep drag from the cigarette, her fingers playing with the lighter as she exhales a cloud of smoke. Then her eyes fall to your face and widen slightly. “Oh, God, sorry. Do you mind?”

You shake your head - it’s not your apartment so it’s not like you have a say anyway, and, if you’re honest, you find it a bit hot. “Go ahead, it’s your apartment.”

She shoots you a grateful smile and takes another drag from the cigarette. “You want one?”

You nod and she tosses you the pack. Once you’ve plucked a cigarette from it, she steps towards you. “Here, let me,” she says, moving to light it for you as her own cigarette dangles from between her lips. She gets closer than would probably be necessary and her proximity makes you feel a little faint - you can smell the shampoo in her still-damp hair, and the smoke on her breath. Your eyes are trained on the lighter - when the flame goes out, you glance up, only to be met with the brightest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. They’re even lighter than you initially thought and her gaze is intense - it’s slightly overwhelming.

“Thanks,” you whisper hoarsely, forcing yourself to blink and take a step back. Miranda’s eyes are fixed curiously on your face as she plucks her cigarette from between her lips. She tilts her head, her lips parting into a smile.

“What?” There’s a playful edge to her voice and her eyes sparkle with mischief. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You freeze, your cheeks turning pink. “Like what?”

“You find me intimidating, don’t you?” You open your mouth to argue but she cuts you off, gesturing down the length of her body. “It’s my height, isn’t it? I get that a lot.”

“It’s not- I mean…” You shrug lamely, taking a sip of your tea to give yourself a moment to think. “It’s not you, I’ve just had a long day. A long few months, actually.” Okay, so you’re deflecting - but it feels way too nice just to bask in Miranda’s presence, and you don’t want it to end so soon by making things awkward.

Miranda’s face softens in an instant, little creases appearing between her brows. “From the move? It can be so hard to uproot your life like that.”

It’s a phrase you’ve heard before - people trying to sympathize with you, looking for something meaningful to say. But with Miranda, it feels different. With the way she’s looking at you, it feels like she truly understands.

~~~

In the past few weeks you’ve gotten into the habit of bringing Miranda baked goods - always on the pretext of having made extras for work and other neighbors (though you never have any intention of giving them to anyone except Miranda). It’s more than worth the hours spent in the kitchen to see the smile that lights up her face when she answers the door. Sometimes she invites you in for tea and a cigarette, sometimes there’s only time for a bit of small talk before one of you needs to get going - but each time, butterflies erupt in your belly and you find yourself wishing you were brave enough to make a move.

What you don’t know is that Miranda finds herself wishing the same thing. Sure, she loves everything you make her (nothing you’ve ever baked her has lasted more than 2 days at most), but the real reason her face breaks into a splitting grin when she answers the door is because it’s you who’s standing there.

Miranda can’t get enough of you - you’re easy to talk to, you make her laugh, you seem to take her as she is. And you’re damn beautiful. The most exciting part of her week is wondering on which evening you’ll come by unannounced after work, and she finds herself praying she’ll have the time to talk to you.

One such evening, you’ve come over with a tray of red velvet cupcakes - decorated with festive little Christmas tree sprinkles. Miranda’s just gotten off a shift and has the evening off, and she’s never been more grateful as she leads you into her kitchen and turns on the kettle. You make yourself right at home, settling on a kitchen chair and tucking your legs underneath you as you reach for the pack of cigarettes on the table - it’s almost become a routine now, and you look like you belong there. Miranda likes that thought more than she’d care to admit.

Still, despite how often you’ve come by lately, she feels there’s still some sort of barrier between the two of you. Your conversations are the best part of her week, yet they tend to feel a bit… shallow. She’s desperate to get to know you better but she’s holding herself back - the fear of driving you away, of being too much for you to handle, causes her to freeze up. You’re just being nice, trying to make new friends in Australia, and here she is, falling for you one red velvet cupcake at a time.

“Mir?” Your voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. She tries desperately to remember what you were talking to her about, but she realizes quickly that her efforts are futile - she was too busy admiring the lock of hair falling across your cheek, the way you ran your fingers through your hair to push it back.

“Sorry.” She offers you a sheepish smile, her cheeks slowly turning scarlet.

You smile back, and her heart skips a beat. “I asked if you’re staying in Sydney for Christmas or if you’re going back to London?”

“I’m staying here. I work on Christmas, so…” She frowns slightly - she hasn’t gone home for Christmas in a few years. Usually, she works and spends her off-hours curled up in bed watching Christmassy rom-coms by herself. She’s gotten used to it. “Are you? Going home for Christmas?”

“Nah. I blew all my savings in the move, can’t afford the plane ticket.” Something about the way you shrug your shoulders, your gaze dropping to the floor, tells Miranda that your nonchalance is a front.

“Would you like to come over?” Miranda, what are you saying? “We could cook something and watch a movie together.” Miranda, shut up! “Maybe you could sleep over and we could keep each other company.” Oh, great, now you’ve done it! Miranda’s eyes widen as she realizes what she’s saying, but she can’t take it back now - and, to be honest, she doesn’t want to take it back. Her heart hammers wildly against her ribcage as she waits for you to reply. It only takes you seconds, really, but those few seconds might as well be hours as time slows and Miranda begins to find it hard to breathe.

“Oh, it’s fine, you don’t have to take me in! I’ll be okay, I wouldn’t want to impose.” Your words come out in a rush and your cheeks are turning pink - Miranda’s heart starts to sink and she scrambles to find the right words to save the conversation.

“You wouldn’t be imposing, I’d have just had a few beers by myself after work anyway.” She chuckles nervously, before adding, “I could use the company.”

She quickly looks away from you, finding the brief moment of vulnerability too much to handle - she couldn’t bear to see the look in your eyes at the moment, certainly one of pity or judgment.

“Oh… Well in that case, I’d love to spend Christmas with you. If that’s okay.”

Miranda’s eyes widen and she glances over at you to see you smiling shyly - her heart stutters in her chest and she feels her stomach flip pleasantly. She lets out a shaky breath, unable to stop the wide smile that’s creeping up her face. “Okay then.”

~~~

Ever since that evening in Miranda’s apartment, you’ve been buzzing with excitement. She’d ended up giving you her number so that you could plan when to come over, and it’s taken all of your restraint not to bug her every waking second - you wouldn’t want her getting sick of you and regretting inviting you over.

But as Christmas is just a few days away, you decide to shoot her a text as you’re lying in bed at night.

Y/N: Hey there, it’s Y/N! I just wanted to ask what time you wanted me to come over on Christmas? :)

You toss your phone aside, not expecting Miranda to text back anytime soon - it’s already late, after all. When your screen lights up moments later, however, your heart begins to pound.

Miranda: Hey! Miranda: I work until 4 Miranda: So evening I would say

Y/N: How does 6 sound? Is that too early?

Miranda: That sounds perfect :)

Y/N: Great! Should I bring anything?

Miranda: Just yourself ;) Miranda: Wait Miranda: Actually Miranda: Do you remember the cookies you brought me last week?

Y/N: What, am I not enough for you? ;) Y/N: (I’ll make some more)

Miranda: Are you sure?

Y/N: Absolutely!! Anything for my favorite neighbor.

Miranda: You’re too good to me

By the time you’re done texting her, you’re grinning down at your phone like an idiot. The screen goes black and you catch sight of your reflection - you blush and bury your head in your pillow. For the first time since you moved, you’re actually starting to get excited for Christmas.

~~~

Three days later you’re wrapping up a pair of Christmas pajamas (red, covered in little white snowflakes - you have a matching pair) to give to Miranda - you want to give her something for Christmas, but you don’t know her all that well yet to get her something personal. Still, you think (or at least, you hope) she’ll find the pajamas silly and fun.

Armed with the gift, a huge tupperware box full of candy cane cookies, your keys, and your phone, you pad across the hall and knock gently on Miranda’s door. You hear her muffled voice yell “coming”, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps, before the door swings open. Miranda’s eyes flick briefly down your body, over the wrapped gift and the cookies, before she finally meets your gaze. She’s slightly out of breath, and her lips curl up into a smile that meets her eyes. What you would give to kiss those lips…

“Merry Christmas,” you say, smiling back and forcing your eyes to remain trained on her own.

“Right! Merry Christmas!” You could swear you see Miranda’s cheeks turn pink, but before you have time to question it she’s ushering you into her apartment, her hand coming to rest on your lower back as she steers you towards the kitchen. “I did some food shopping the other day. I wasn’t sure what you’d want to eat, I’m not usually big on holiday foods and I didn’t have time to prepare anything because of work.”

Miranda’s rambling has you swooning - you can tell she’s nervous, though you aren’t sure why. If only she knew you’d happily eat frozen pizza or cereal for Christmas dinner, as long as you get to spend it with her.

“It’s fine, I don’t care much about Christmas dinner, we can eat anything.” You hope that you’re coming off as reassuring, though you can’t really tell as Miranda blushes again and lights up a cigarette.

“Maybe a curry?” she asks, chewing at her bottom lip.

“Yeah, that sounds great. Just tell me what you need help with.”

She seems to relax a bit, heading over to the fridge and pulling out ingredients. “What do you drink? Do you want a beer?”

“Please.”

The two of you spend the next 45 minutes side by side in the small kitchen, cooking, drinking, talking - mostly it’s Miranda, telling you about her workday. When she’s done chopping vegetables, she reaches for the pack of cigarettes again - “sorry, nerves,” she says with a faint smile. You still can’t fathom what she’s nervous about but you don’t want to push her, so you shrug it off and turn your attention to the curry that’s simmering in the pan. You dip a spoon into the sauce to try it, humming in delight the second the flavors explode on your tongue.

“This is really good, try it!” Without thinking you bring the spoon to Miranda’s mouth and, without thinking, she closes her lips around it. Her eyelids flutter shut and she lets out a little noise of pleasure that’s dangerously close to a moan. Heat pools in your stomach, your eyes glued to her lips as you slide the spoon out of her mouth - it’s the first time you notice a little scar above her lip, and you swallow thickly.

You quickly avert your gaze as Miranda’s eyes open again, taking a sip of your beer as you check on the rice.

“I was thinking we could just eat in the living room and watch a movie?” Miranda suggests when the curry is done cooking. You agree and help Miranda carry the bowls and a couple bottles of beer into the living room. It’s small, like yours, and a little cluttered. There’s a string of fairy lights above the window and a small Christmas tree sat atop a side table. Miranda’s eyes follow your gaze and she chuckles.

“I actually put that up two days ago, I panicked when I realized I didn’t have any Christmas decorations up at all.”

“You didn’t have to decorate on my account,” you tease, earning yourself a laugh.

“Oh but what kind of Christmas would it be without a tree?”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Miranda smiles at you as she settles on the couch, crossing her legs and setting her bowl in her lap. She gestures for you to join her. You tuck your knees underneath you, angling your body towards her. As you eat, you fall into an easy conversation - you find yourself getting even more comfortable in Miranda’s presence, feeling right at home in her apartment. You can tell she’s relaxing as well - she stretches her legs out, her toes (clad in Christmas-themed socks) touching the side of your thigh.

“I got you something, by the way,” Miranda says suddenly, leaning over to place her almost-empty bowl on the table. You follow suit, a smile lighting up your face.

“I got you something, too - wait here!” Miranda looks somewhat surprised as you jump up and rush into the kitchen, returning with the gift you’d brought. She now has a gift of her own on her lap, and she’s picking at the edge of the wrapping paper as you settle back down beside her, a soft smile on her face.

You exchange gifts and Miranda’s chewing nervously at her bottom lip as she watches you tear open the wrapping paper. It’s a cookbook for baking - you can’t help but laugh, and you look up to see Miranda’s cheeks turn pink.

“Is this meant to be a hint?” you tease, and Miranda chuckles nervously.

“Sorry, I-”

“I love it,” you cut her off, setting the book down beside you and leaning over to wrap your arms tightly around her torso. She returns the hug - her arms are strong and comforting and you’re immediately enveloped in her scent. It takes everything in you not to kiss her.

After pulling away, you gesture eagerly to the gift that’s in her lap. She has a look of nervous excitement on her face as she begins to unwrap it - her smile widens when she takes the pjs out of the wrapping paper and holds them in front of her.

“I hope they fit, I guessed your size. I have the same ones and you seem like the type of person who would like them.”

Miranda’s eyes widen as she looks over at you, her expression nothing short of giddy. “You have the same ones? Wear them! We can match.”

Her reaction is exactly what you hoped it would be. The prospect of wearing matching Christmas pjs is both adorable and a little intimate, and you’re filled with nervous anticipation as you head across the hall to your apartment to get changed.

When you get back to Miranda’s apartment a few minutes later, the blonde is sitting on her couch with her legs tucked underneath her. She smiles so widely that her nose crinkles, and she opens her arms to you. Without a second thought, you allow yourself to be pulled into a tight hug.

“Do you like them?” you ask as you pull away.

“I love them!” The smile on her face is genuine, her eyes shining brightly, and you can’t help but blush, your entire body tingling a bit as your eyes drift down her body.

~~~

You’re about an hour into the second movie of the night and you’re already several beers deep (you’ve lost count, to be honest). You’ve scooted closer and closer to Miranda as the evening has worn on, and now you’re practically on top of her - your legs are bent at the knee, tucked against your body and resting on the outside of her thigh, your shoulder is all but glued to her own.

You drain the rest of your beer, then pout at the bottle. “It’s empty,” you say, more to yourself than to Miranda, who chuckles and shifts beside you.

“I can get you another one?”

“It’s fine,” you say with a giggle. “Maybe I should stop drinking.” You’re not drunk but you’re definitely tipsy - you turn your head to face Miranda a little too quickly and, for a brief moment, the room spins, causing you to burst into another fit of giggles.

Your eyes meet Miranda’s, before dropping to her lips and getting stuck there. They’re curled into an amused smile as she chuckles at your inebriated state - though the smile slowly fades as her brows begin to crease. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips and your own laughter quickly dies in your throat, your mouth going dry. You can tell Miranda’s breathing has gone shallow, her eyes falling to your lips. The air around you becomes thick and heavy, and Miranda’s gaze darts away.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, scrambling to scoot away - before she can get very far, your arm shoots out and holds her in place.

“What are you sorry for?” you whisper. The only sound you can hear is the pounding of your own heart in your ears as you wait for Miranda to respond. Her gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips, a lovely shade of pink rising in her cheeks.

“I-” she starts, cutting herself off as she swallows visibly.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You don’t know what prompted you to be so bold (probably the alcohol), but when a soft, barely audible whimper escapes Miranda’s throat, you can’t say you regret asking.

“Yes.”

You definitely don’t regret asking.

“I want to kiss you, too,” you whisper, leaning in slightly as you fix your gaze on soft-looking, pale pink lips that glisten slightly in the dim light of the living room. Then you stop yourself, hesitating as the room spins again. You’ve dreamed of kissing those same lips for weeks now but something is off.

The alcohol, you realize - you don’t want your first kiss with Miranda to be clouded by alcohol. You want to appreciate and remember the moment fully, you want to savor every second. So, as much as you’re dying to close the gap and absolutely ravage the lovely, beautiful woman sitting next to you, you decide to pull back. “But I’m going to wait until tomorrow. I want to be completely sober for that. And… if you still want to kiss me tomorrow… then I’ll kiss you.”

Miranda nods slowly, looking a bit dazed. “That’s, uh,” she starts, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat. “That’s a good idea.” She shifts in her seat, crossing one thigh tightly over the other. The air is still thick and heavy, and it takes everything in you not to say ‘fuck it’ and push her back onto the couch - but you mean it, you really do want to be sober for that. So you lean back, putting a few inches of distance between yourself and Miranda for the remainder of the film.

You feel yourself becoming more and more tired, and by the time the credits are rolling, you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. Pushing yourself up off the couch, you sway slightly as you make it to your feet, and immediately decide to sit back down so that you don’t fall over.

“You sure you can make it back down the hall okay?” Miranda teases, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she watches you lean back against the sofa.

You roll your eyes and shoot her a playful glare. “I’m not drunk. I’m just tired.” As if to emphasize your point, you yawn widely as you finish your last sentence - Miranda laughs.

“You can sleep here if you want,” she offers - then her face goes pale and she rushes to explain herself. “Not with me of course, but the couch is quite comfortable. Or you can take the bed and I’ll take the couch, that’s fine, too-”

She’s talking a mile a minute and it’s the most charming thing you’ve ever heard - especially since you definitely would sleep with her. You’d just prefer to do it sober. Giggling, you decide to show her mercy and cut her off. “Thanks for the offer. I think I’ll take the couch if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, let me get you some blankets.” She turns off the tv and stands, leaving the room for a minute and coming back with a pillow and an armful of blankets. You get up and try to help her to make a makeshift bed for you, but your movements are a bit sluggish and you realize you’re just getting in her way, so you end up perching on the edge of the coffee table until she gives you the go.

You snuggle into the blankets - they smell like Miranda, and it takes everything in you not to bury your nose in them and moan out loud. Instead, you shoot Miranda a smile and mutter a sleepy ‘thank you’ - she nods, telling you to yell if you need her, then turns to leave.

“Oh, Miranda?” You lift your head off the pillow and crane your neck towards the blonde.

She pauses in the doorway, turning back to face you as she runs a hand through her hair. “Hmm?”

“Merry Christmas.” You beam at her, even as your eyes threaten to close any second. The evening was far from a traditional Christmas celebration, but it was the best Christmas you’ve had in a long time.

“Merry Christmas,” she replies, her smile soft and genuine, before turning around and disappearing into her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

~~~

You’re out like a light the second Miranda is gone, completely oblivious to the internal struggle she faces as she curls up in her own bed. She tries to close her eyes and force herself to sleep, but she’s not tired at all - her mind is racing and her heart is pounding, her entire body responding to the evening she’s shared with you. The laughter, the sense of familiarity and peace, the tension when you nearly kissed her. And, God, does she want to kiss you. But you’re tipsy, and you probably just said that in the heat of the moment - she gets it, sometimes alcohol makes her flirty and a little horny as well. You probably won’t remember that conversation in the morning - and you probably won’t want to kiss her anymore either.

She can’t help the way her heart sinks as she comes to that realization, and it keeps her up for the better part of the night. She feels like she’s just managed to nod off when the morning light starts to filter in through the curtains and she groans, burying her face in her pillow.

Thud.

Miranda freezes for a moment, her blood going cold as she hears a noise coming from her living room. Then she remembers that you’re sleeping on her couch and her body relaxes again. She’s nervous, wondering if you’ll be awkward about the previous evening’s sexual tension, but her curiosity about whether or not you’re already awake wins out and she pushes herself off the bed, smoothing a hand over her hair and wiping the sleep out of her eyes before creeping into the hallway, careful to be quiet in case you’re still sleeping.

There’s a clattering coming from the living room though, and she finds you collecting the beer bottles from last night that are still scattered across the coffee table.

“Hello,” Miranda says, her voice still a little hoarse from sleep.

Your head whips around towards the doorway and your cheeks turn pink. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to clean up a bit. Did I wake you?” The way you’re chewing at your bottom lip is adorable and makes Miranda want to kiss you senseless. She chuckles and shakes her head.

“No, I was awake anyway. Here, let me help.” Miranda helps you clear off the coffee table, heading into the kitchen with an armful of bottles and her empty bowl from dinner. You’re right behind her with the rest of the dishes and you immediately make your way to the sink and start washing them - it feels so domestic that it makes Miranda’s heart flutter, and she has to look away and focus on something else so that you can’t see the blush on her cheeks or the yearning that’s surely shining in her eyes.

“Do you want coffee?” she asks, waiting for your affirmative hum before starting to make some. She’s so focused on preparing the coffee machine that she misses you turning off the sink and padding over to her - she yelps as you press against her back, placing your hands on the counter on either side of her and boxing her in. Her heart is racing, skipping beats left and right as your body heat warms her from behind. Drawing in a sharp breath, she turns around to face you.

“Miranda?” Your voice is low and a little shaky, and your cheeks are flushed - gorgeously so, Miranda finds her mouth going dry.

“Yes?” she croaks out.

“Remember how I said I’d kiss you today if you still wanted to?”

All Miranda can do is nod, her mouth hanging open as all the blood rushes to her face.

“Well, I guess I wanted to ask you if you still wanted to kiss me? Because I’m sober now and I still want to kiss you.” You look just as nervous as Miranda feels - she nods again, afraid her voice will betray how badly she wants you.

“Please, say it,” you plead, your eyes wide and earnest. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Y-yes. I- I want to kiss you.”

Your lips curl up into a soft smile and your hands move from the counter to Miranda’s waist, your grip firm as if you’re afraid she’ll run away from you. You press yourself up onto your toes until your face is mere inches away from her own. She can feel your breath on her face, warm and shallow. Her eyes are glued to your lips, wondering when you’ll close the gap - then you do, your lips soft and plush as they press gently against hers.

She allows her eyelids to flutter shut and kisses you back, her own hands reaching out tentatively to cup your cheeks. You smile into the kiss and she takes the opportunity to deepen it - you groan softly into her mouth as her tongue brushes against yours, and she swallows the sound, groaning back in return.

“I didn’t think you’d remember,” she murmurs, her thumb stroking your cheek.

“As if I haven’t been thinking about that since the moment I first met you,” you tease with a seductive grin, before wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her down for a second kiss, even more passionate than the last.

@alexusonfire @brienneswife @pro-weems-places @bigolgay @kimiinou @imprincipalweemspet @h-doodles @bychrissi @katie-bennet @giogwensversion @gela123 @friskyfisher @justcallmelittleone @michi2504 @scream-queenlover @a-queen-and-her-throne @sequoirius @anne-lister @winterfireblond @imgayforwoman69 @Ssappling2004 @fictionalized-lesbian @i-like-reading @aemilia19 @milfsloverblog @missdowling @billiedeansbitch @The_Demon_of_your_Dream @agathaandgwenslesbian @http-sam @Cute-catx @saltrage @renravens @opheliauniverse @zillahofviolets-bayolet @scarlettssub @catechristiestuff @niceminipotato @barbarasstar @women-are-so-ethereal @thevillagegay @willowshadenox @lilfartbox1 @larissaoftarthweems @dovesintherain @fallenbutch @lunala-rose23 @ahauandthesun @thenazwife @lvinhs @sweetderacine @daydream-cement @ilovetlcc @wastdstime @ladylarissaweems @spacetoaim22 @m1lflov3rrr

#miranda hilmarson x reader #miranda hilmarson #top of the lake #top of the lake: china girl #i haven't posted in almost 2.5 months and i'm ANXIOUS #hype a girl up 😭#i also clearly couldn't be arsed to come up with a better title i'm SORRY 🥲

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luffyvace · 3 months

Text

BSD character’s reactions to screwing up they’re first date with you ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

Includes (most) the ada and port mafia <3

they’ll be pretty short since it’s a lot of characters :P (these exclude kyoka, Q and lemon thing aka kajii)

ADA

Fukuzawa 🗡

he’s probably slightly embarrassed but knowing him I’m sure it wasn’t too bad of a screw up

in fact it was probably a minor embarrassing moment that happened

it was silence for a split second before you two changed subjects from what happened

the date went pretty smoothly after that

the typa detail that gets left out when you talk about how the date went

Ranpo 👓

he’ll probably realize what’s gonna happen to ruin the date before it does, and either act to make sure it doesn’t

or smoothly addresses it and moves on

just cuz he’s like that 😎🤷‍♀️ (LOL)

but if something he doesn’t predict happens that crashes your date he’ll be pretty butt hurt

like? How come the worlds greatest detective didn’t see through this??

🙄

you likely end up assuring him it’s fine and continue the date

he sulks and eats snacks when he gets home

your probability of still going on the next date anyway is 89% but he’s still mad that happened

Yosano🥼

she will be pretty bummed out and will starting drinking wine mid date

she may ask if you want some

she’s not sulking or anything but if like where y’all was gonna go is booked/closed you end up just going to some open public area and talking

about how this sucks, what you’ll do next date, if you can do something last minute, that you both doubt you’ll try and go there for a date again and eventually to lighter topics like your hobbies n such

but yeah the date decently recovers

kunikida🤓

YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS MAN IS UTTERLY ENRAGED

in all seriousness he’s s t r e s s i n g

he kinda panics because he planned this out so perfectly and now it’s ruined??

over course he has a back up plan down to z but it’s was supposed to go PERFECT.

(if dazai ruined it for you two he’s gonna choke him out as soon as he sees him)

eventually he stops mumbling and pacing and just takes you to plan b

which actually goes really well!

thankfully it ended in his favor but he’s still gonna spend everyday of his like repenting his first date

because you were his first date with anyone ever

and it was….spoiled. 😀

Dazai💀

you already know mr. slick bounced back immediately

like he went “oh well” and took you to do something else without batting an eye

made it just as fun as the original activity was gonna be

you’d think he had a plan b in mind but he indeed did not

he just had the money to make it look like it 😉

smooth operator 🤪😚

Tanizaki😅

apologizes like a million times

he didn’t mean to ruin it!!

especially if this is your first date too

cuz this is definitely his seeing as though Naomi won’t let him date nobody else 😃😅

(you only got away with him bc Naomi likes you /j)

you guys probably end up walking around and get some ice cream

sitting on a bench and talking

a cat came up to you two and you pet them

All in all it ended peacefully !! <3

(he sulked to Naomi but was grateful things still went alright)

naomi💗

she went “awwww” 🙁

you all likely end up in a arcade and eat some snacks too

You guys use the money you were gonna spend at the original place

it still ends up being pretty fun but you can tell she’s bummed out

you give her a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date to make her feel better 💖

(she immediately perks up)

Kenji🐄

he was kinda like “that stinks” but didn’t even seem sad about it

you two rerouted but couldn’t find anything to do

so you pretty much ended up wandering

not either of you mind, passerby we’re really kind to you and gave you free stuff

At least you didn’t leave empty handed 🤷‍♀️😋

atsushi🐯

your his first ever date- canon.

so when he realizes he (wasn’t his fault but he feels like it anyway) blew it, he’s utterly disappointed

he explains this is his first date and he wanted it to be special, even more so since it was with someone so cool like you

you hear him out, patting his back and giving him head pats to make him feel better

he even went out of his way to buy some new clothes 😞

you tell him it’s okay but he doesn’t feel that way

he asks if there’s anyway he can make it up to you and insists to buy you something before you go

he gets you something you picked out from a shop

although he’s practically hyperventilating over whether you’ll ghost him or not since he screwed it up

Mori💉

another smooth one

i doubt whatever store/place you were trying to go to was closed because he could just pay to open it back up

so it’s likely something embarrassing/awkward happened instead

HE PROBABLY TOOK ELISE AND SHE SAID SMTH 😂😂😂😂

anyway

if so he immediately corrects her then deactivates his ability……

he wanted her to come on the date so he could take her in the future and have you be used to it

clearly that talk he had about not saying private stuff went in one ear and out the other

he apologizes for whatever inconvenience happened and does what every rich man does :)

throws money at the problem :)

no fr y’all went to every shop and he bought you what you wanted from it

(Hey just the for the record I don’t condone mori’s behavior and i genuinely don’t know why the creator did that—they coulda just left that out he coulda been so much better🧍‍♀️)

Hirotsu👔

he doesn’t let little things bother him, but a date with someone that’s important to him?

and it gets ruined??

now that’s kinda disappointing

he formally apologizes and asks if there’s anything you have in mind or like to do for compensation

or maybe if it’s not that drastic he’ll just apologize and try to direct the conversation else where

he isn’t sweating it or anything but the blunder was a pain for a hot second

either way he gets through it without letting it stop the entire date as a whole

Koyo👘

is really embarrassed for 3 hot secs before she collects herself, sighing

Is blushing a bit when she asks if your upset and apologizes

she likely planned this date and told you not to worry about it because things like this wasn’t so supposed to happen

luckily for her she switched from her original idea to something else, so now that that hasn’t worked out she can go back

from there the date returns to smooth sailing

she spoils you and tries to get you forget as much as possible

she especially doesn’t want that getting on her reputation if you work at the PM as well

Chuuya🥂

really irritated and swears under his breath while facing away from you

tries to make it look like he has it under control but he’s kinda freaking out

he liked you so much he really wanted this to go well :/

In the end he can’t think of anything and ends up muttering an apologizing before suggesting to go get some wine together

gets even more embarrassed if your not a drinker

he’s mentally slapping himself at this point

you probably end up pitching in and throwing an idea out there yourself, to which your idea works and the rest of the night is really fun! ;3

he keeps mentioning how good your idea was because it totally saved him

He’s happy when he walks through the door of his place, but when he remembers he blew it he gets upset again

spends the rest of the night drinking and thinking about it hoping you still wanna date him

Higuchi🔫

she is a lover who wants to do everything for the one she loves

so finally landing a date with you and blowing it is like her whole world exploding 💥

she becomes frantic in apologizing asking how to make it up to you

even if it was just a minor thing

if she can turn things around she still feels successful but makes precautions not to let that happen again

if not she’s totally bawling her eyes out to gin about it

she does her best to get on your good side before asking for another date

Tachihara⚔️

gets a bit flustered and sheepishly looks at you to see if it bothered you

his reaction depends on yours

if you start complaining about how much of a bummer it is he’ll start to feel bad

he tries to cheer you up and suggests to move to something else

but if your calm n cool about it so is he

he kinda shrugs one shoulder and says “so what now/wanna do somethin’ else instead?”

Akutagawa🧥

*coughs*

”err..guess the place is closed. I checked yesterday and they were open so this must be a fluke..”

he probably awkwardly stands there from there

if your response is too negative he’ll apologize for wasting your time and offer to drive you home

he will likely hesitate before asking you on a date again and makes sure everything is perfect this time

”curse the weretiger” (you hear him mumble this like it’s a swear word before you close the door to your house)

If you don’t mind as much you two will probably just end up chatting somewhere

it ends with him apologizing anyway

(say you enjoyed talking with him and you might be met with wide eyes and a little blush on his face <3)

Gin☺️

blushes, stammers and apologizes like crazy

she feels really ashamed since this is your first date and something went wrong

she covers her mouth with her hand to sort of “hide” out of embarrassment

she even took off her mask and dressed up all cute for you!! :(

luckily! She brought you a gift !

you ended up really liking it and you hugged her for it, which made her feel a bit better

you ask to return the favor by buying her something too

she insists you don’t have to but you end up doing it anyway

you wrap your arm around each other’s waist while you walk which was pretty romantic :)

you kiss her atop her forehead before separating to head home

(if your not in the PM or can’t physically hand yourself—she probably follows you home from a distance, BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY. In a ‘she wants to know your home safe’ loving way)

she squeals when she gets home and tells ryuunosuke about the highs and lows of your date 💗

yes as I said pretty short but these were mostly a trial run for fun :)

again this is just me branching out and expirmenting ;P hopes to you enjoyed!!

120 notes · View notes

willalove75 · 6 months

Text

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 21 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Alcina goes to scout for the hunters and boy, does she find them. With a prisoner in tow, you feel guilty about his impending fate.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI.

Tags: Light angst, mostly fluff

Notes: Part 21!

Click here for the rest of the series

Gif source

The following day you spent most of the morning and afternoon trailing behind Alcina; helping her with paperwork and tasks as she finished getting caught up from the previous week. Tonight she planned to go out and search for the hunters that have been wandering just beyond the castle grounds and she wanted everything finished before she left.

"What time are you planning on going out?" You ask as you file away some of the papers scattered across her desk.

"After dusk, it'll be easier for me to hide amongst the forest at night."

"That's fair, although you are very skilled at hiding in plain sight in the middle of broad daylight." You tease.

"What can I say? I am a skilled huntress." She quips as she continues her paperwork.

"Huntress?"

"Do you have a problem with the way I describe myself?" She asks, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"No, I just wasn't expecting that to be the word you chose."

"And what word were you expecting me to use?"

"Predator feels like it fits the bill a little better, no?" You say trying to hide your smile and fail.

Alcina side-eyes you and you bite your lip to keep your smile back.

"Predator?" She says, mulling over the word. "Is that how you really feel about me, draga?"

Alcina acts hurt before standing to her full height and slowly makes her way over to you. Each step she takes is calculated, like a lion stalking a baby antelope. Her pout grows into a grin as she backs you up against the filing cabinet and looks down at you, her golden eyes boring into yours.

"Tell me, my love, is that how you view me?" She asks before bending down to your height and brushes her lips against your ear. "As a predator?"

Your breath hitches in your chest when you feel hers against your skin. Before you can react Alcina grabs the front of your dress and hoists you into the air up to her eye level as she stands to her full height. You let out a squeal and she sits you on top of the gigantic filing cabinet. Caging you in, she places both of her hands against the wall on either side of your head and leans in.

"Speak." She commands. The intensity in her eyes have a hint of playfulness to them but it still sends a shiver down your spine.

"I suppose, but it's not something that frightens me." You say as you look back into her eyes. She quirks an eyebrow at you and you lean in closer to her. "I'll let you in on a little secret." You lower your voice. "I actually find it quite attractive."

Alcina doesn't try to hide the smile that pulls at the corner of her lips as she tilts her head at you.

"So peculiar."

"What is?"

"The prey finding the predator attractive."

"Well I find it quite peculiar that the predator finds the prey as equally as attractive."

"The prey has quite the audacity to act so bold in front of it's predator." She says, flashing you a dangerous smile. "Especially when the predator can rip it's prey to shreds in seconds."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You innocently shrug before tilting your head to the side and pressing your lips into the skin on her neck.

You can hear Alcina's breath hitch in her throat. She lets out a low growl as you kiss and suck on her neck.

"You my dear are playing a very dangerous game." She says through her teeth, trying to mask the hint of arousal in her voice.

You respond by nipping at her pulse point and you can feel the vibration of her growl in her throat. She drags her nails down the wall before they rest on your hips and you continue to kiss, suck and nip up and down the column of her neck.

Alcina begins to lose herself in your ministrations, her head falls back and her eyes roll into the back of her head before she catches herself. She captures your lips in a searing kiss and her tongue pushes its way into your mouth. You moan at the intrusion and Alcina's hands grip at your thighs. Spreading your legs wider, you moan into her mouth and your hands go to tangle themselves into her hair. Before you can grasp onto her raven locks she pulls away completely with a sinister smile on her face, leaving you panting, wet, and eager for more. You whine at the loss and she chuckles.

"Oh, my sweet girl." She says, tracing the back of her finger down your cheek. "See what happens when you play with a predator?"

Alcina turns away and walks back to her desk. Her body is aching for you, it's taking all of her self restraint to not turn around, rip the fabric from your body and take you right this second. The only thing keeping her from doing so is knowing she has to finish her work before she leaves and that tomorrow night will be your date night. No harm in getting you all worked up now.

You groan and lean your head back against the ruined wall.

"Ughh! You're so unfair!" You whine. "Come back!"

"May I remind you draga, that you started this?" She says, her eyes trained on her paperwork.

"So?!" Alcina only shrugs in response and you let out another groan. "At least help me get down! It's too tall for me to climb down on my own!"

As you look down you know for sure you'll break an ankle if you try and jump. Alcina taps the pen against her chin in thought before answering.

"What was that thing you and the girls were telling me about? What you do with mischievous pets that are misbehaving?"

Her question takes you off guard for a second and you think. When you realize what she's talking about your jaw drops.

"Are you putting me in air jail?!"

"Ah, yes! That's it. Precisely. I will not get any work done if you continue to distract me." She says with mirth in her voice.

"I wasn't even distracting you all day! I was helping! You're so unfair." You say with a pout and cross your arms.

"Don't forget darling, predators don't play fair." She says with a wink.

Eventually Alcina lets you down and you continue helping her with her tasks. At dinner the girls beg their mother again to let them join her in her hunt but she refuses.

"Absolutely not. Not until I know for certain what we are up against. Plus, the temperature has been dropping at night and I am afraid it is beginning to become unsafe for you girls to be outside in the middle of the night."

The girls groan in unison and Alcina silences them with a stern look.

"We shall see how tonight goes. In terms of both the temperature and what we are up against." The girls become giddy and Alcina gets their attention once more. "Make no mistake, I am not making any promises in this moment. Am I clear?"

"Yes mother." The girls reply in unison.

"Good. Now I must get ready. Draga, will you assist me?"

"Of course!"

She leads you into her chambers and rummages through her dresser.

"Draga, please get me my boots from my wardrobe." She asks.

You nod and rummage through the dozens of shoes she has until you find a large pair of worn, black leather knee-high boots in the back of the wardrobe.

"These?" You ask.

"Yes! Thank you."

Alcina pulls out a pair of black pants and a grey, long sleeved shirt. She lays them on the bed before digging through another drawer and hums when she finds what she's looking for: a black corset belt with straps. Finally, she opens her wardrobe and sifts through the hangers before pulling out a dark brown cowl with a hood.

"That should be everything." She says to herself before she nods and sits down at her vanity. "Draga can you please undo the buttons on my dress?" She asks as she takes the pins out of her hair.

"Of course."

You hop onto the step stool and start unbuttoning the buttons down the back of her dress. She finishes taking out the last pin in her hair as you undo the last button and she stands up and lets the fabric pool around her feet. You stand there for a moment entranced as you look at her, your eyes drinking in every inch of her body.

Alcina's chuckle breaks you out of your stare and you shake your head and to go pick up her dress.

"I am pleased to know I still have such an effect on you." She says.

"You always have." You reply with a smile.

Alcina laughs as she removes her bra and puts on a new one that looks more like a sports bra. She replaces her lacy underwear with a cotton pair and slips on her skin-tight black pants. Alcina pulls the long sleeve shirt over her head and sits on the edge of the bed to put the corset belt. You stand between her legs and fasten the belt around her waist. After that you adjust the straps so they're snug - but not too tight - on her shoulders and nod to yourself when you're satisfied with your work.

"Thank you, draga mea." She says as she cups your face and leans down to kiss you.

"Of course, my love. Do you need anything else? Socks?"

"Ah, yes. Thank you. There should be a wool pair in the drawer."

You rummage through the drawer and find the black wool socks she was talking about and grab them. After shutting the drawer you walk over to her and place them in her hand.

Alcina slips the socks on and you grab her shoes and help her into them. You zipper both boots up and she tightens the laces on the front. She stands up and makes her way back over to the vanity and begins to pin her hair out of her face. You've never seen her do this with her hair before - truthfully you've never seen her dressed so casually before - but she still looks as beautiful as ever.

She stands up, adjusts the belt and her shirt and gives herself another once-over in the mirror.

"How do I look?" She asks.

"Just as beautiful as ever." You reply with a smile.

Alcina grabs the cowl and pulls it over her head and adjusts it on her shoulders. She grabs a pair of gloves from her drawer and slips them on and she's ready to go.

The sun has just begin to set and the last of its light peeks through the window.

"Ready?" You ask.

Alcina huffs and nods. "As ready as I'll ever be."

The two of you walk hand-in-hand down the stairs to the front doors. The girls swarm in and Zina follows closely behind with a bag in her hand.

"Here you are, my Lady. I've packed the usual for you." She says, handing Alcina the bag.

"Thank you, Zina."

Alcina notices the look of confusion on your face and she chuckles as she pulls the bag across her shoulder.

"Most nights when I am out hunting I am gone for long periods of time. So we've come up with a go-bag of sorts with supplies I'll need. Blood, meat, matches, compass, rope, things of that nature."

"I also put a special snack in there for you, mother!" Daniela says with excitement.

"Thank you, bug." Alcina says as she cups her face and kisses her on the forehead.

"How long will you be gone for?" You ask.

"Not until the early hours of the morning I presume."

"Is that normal? Are you usually out that late?"

"Only when she's hunting hunters. If mother were to be hunting deer or other animals she returns much earlier." Bela chimes in.

Suddenly you feel nervous, you're not sure why but you didn't expect Alcina to be out all night. You figured she'd patrol for a couple of hours and head back home. The thought of her being out in the forest alone all night long forms a pit of nervousness in your stomach.

"But you aren't fighting them or actually hunting them, right? I thought you were just scouting?"

"That is correct, although I must be prepared to fight anyway just in case. You never know what could happen and I'd rather be prepared for a fight and not have one than not."

"I guess."

Alcina senses your nerves and bends down to your height and cups your cheek.

"There's nothing to worry about, draga mea. I will stay safe. Even if there is a fight, those hunters won't stand a chance."

"Just be careful, okay?" You ask, looking deep into her eyes.

"I will, iubirea mea. I promise."

She leans in and kisses you like there weren't four other people staring at the two of you. Her kiss was reassuring, sealing the promise she made to be careful and to stay safe. When the kiss ends you wrap your arms around her neck and hold her. You feel her arms wrap around your waist and her hand cradles the back of your head.

"I will come back to you, my love. I promise." She whispers. You nod into her and she kisses you once more before you pull away from each other.

The girls swarm their mother and she wraps her arms around all three of them.

"Stay safe, mother." Bela says.

"If you do kill any, bring one back for us!" Cassandra says.

"Oh! Yes! Please mother? Please?" Daniela asks excitedly.

Alcina chuckles and kisses each girl on the head.

"I will try daughters. If I have any confrontations I need to bring one back as a prisoner for questioning."

"OH! Can I do it? Please mom?!" Cassandra asks as she vibrates with excitement.

"I can't make any promises, but I will see what I can do."

After one more hug and another kiss to the top of each of their heads, Alcina lets the girls go and she pulls her hood up over her head.

"I must be off, I have some distance to cover before I reach where they were last spotted. Daughters, please behave while I am out."

"Yes mother." The girls say in unison.

"Draga, please don't try and stay awake until I come home."

How she's able to know you so well will never not fascinate you. You pout at her demand and she chuckles.

"I promise I will wake you when I'm home so you know I am back safely. Alright?"

"Deal."

"Zina, as per usual you are in charge until I return. I trust you will keep things under control until then." She says, eyeballing the girls as she speaks.

"Of course, my Lady." She says with a bow.

"Excellent. I am as appreciative as always for your loyalty."

"It is my honor, my Lady."

"Have a good night girls, please stay out of trouble while I am gone." Alcina says before scanning everyone's face before opening the door and walking out into the night.

When the door shuts there's a moment of silence before Daniela flies around the entrance hall.

"Oh! Lets play a game! We should chase one of the new maids around the castle!"

"Absolutely not." Zina says. "Ms. Daniela you know well enough I do not allow those kinds of 'games' to be played while I am in charge. Please go and find something quiet and non-destructive to do for the night."

"Fineeeee!" Daniela says.

Zina gives her a warning look before walking away towards the kitchens.

"Ugh she's so strict!"

"I mean I feel like she has to be. Your mother would kill her if something were to happen when she was away." You say.

The girls burst into laughter and you're confused.

"Oh please!" Cassandra laughs.

"Zina can do literally anything and mother would barely bat an eye." Bela says.

"She can get away with murder and mother won't do a single thing to her." Daniela replies.

"She has!" Cassandra adds.

"She what?!" You ask, wide-eyed.

"Oh it was nothing, the girl deserved it and everyone was happy she was gone." Cassandra says.

"What?!"

"That's a story for another day." Bela says, glaring at Cassandra. "Anyway, lets go play a board game!"

The four of you head into the library. A few maids that were in there picking out books before curfew scurry out when you all enter and the girls giggle at their skittishness.

For the rest of the night you and the girls play board games. They try and teach you how to play chess but after a few hours it still makes almost no sense to you. Even when you have one of the girls playing with you, Bela kicks your ass over and over again.

"And that's checkmate!" Bela says and you groan in response.

"Okay, I'm done, I hate this game." You say as you push the board away from you.

"Oh come on! One more! Don't be a sore loser!"

"Bela I'd be a sore loser if I quit after losing one or two games, you've kicked my ass at least a dozen times."

"I've literally never seen anyone suck at chess so badly." Cassandra says as she sketches on the floor.

"Whatever! It's a stupid game anyway!" You say defensively before yawning. "I'm getting tired, we should head to bed."

Looking over you see Daniela curled up on one of the couches, fast asleep with a book resting on her chest.

"Dani, come on, it's time to go to sleep." You say as you gently wake her.

"Is the parlor set up?"

"What?"

"Are our beds in the parlor?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Whenever mother goes out hunting all night Dani usually pulls all of our beds downstairs into one of the parlors so we can hear when mom comes home."

"Aw, that's actually really sweet."

"I'm too tired to do it." Dani says in her half-asleep state.

"How about we all stay in your moms bed then?" You suggest.

"I like that idea. Carry me?" She says.

"There is no way I'm going to be able to carry you, come on, get up."

Daniela growls and reluctantly gets up. She sleepily shuffles into Alcina's chambers with you, Bela and Cassandra. The four of you crawl into Alcina's massive bed and before you know it you're all asleep.

You're awoken in the middle of the night by a loud "BANG" and you and the girls jump up. The four of you rush downstairs and can hear the sounds of someone yelling and crying. As you make your way into the main hall you see Alcina walk in and you freeze.

She sure as hell got into a fight, and a nasty one at that. Alcina was covered in blood, both hers and the hunters. She had cuts, bullet wounds and scrapes all over her body that hadn't healed yet and your heart began to hammer wildly in your chest. Why wasn't she healing? What the hell happened?!

Slung over her shoulder was a man bound by his wrists and ankles, kicking, yelling and begging for Alcina to have mercy on him and to let him go.

"Shut. Up." She growls.

When she sees the four of you run into the hall she relaxes and drops the man onto the ground. He cries out in pain and scrambles to get up onto his knees.

"Mother!"

"Oh my god Alcina what happened?!"

"Mmm man blood!"

"Mom! Are you okay?!"

"I am fine." She says, clearly exhausted.

"Why haven't you healed?!" You say in a panic.

"I am, slowly, but I am. There's no need to fear, draga mea."

"Mother what happened?!"

"I found the hunters." She says with a humorless laugh.

You feel something pulling at your pajamas and you look down to see the prisoner at your feet.

"Please! Please help me! She's a monster!" He cries.

You take a step back in shock, this wasn't a man, this was basically a kid. It would surprise you if he was eighteen years old. You look back at Alcina and she sees the look on your face.

"Keep your filthy man hands off of her!" She says before kicking him away. "Cassandra, take our prisoner down to the dungeon. But do not, and I mean do not harm a single hair on his head. Do you understand?"

"Yes mother." Cassandra says with a hint of disappointment in her eyes. She sticks her sickle into his leg and he cries out in pain as she drags him into the basement.

"Alcina what the hell happened?!" You say as you look over her injuries.

"I will explain everything, but first please bring me into my chambers, I need to bathe."

You nod and you, Bela and Daniela help Alcina upstairs and into the bathroom. Her clothes were torn with bullet holes and slashes and covered in mud. She slices through the remaining fabric and settles into the bathtub. You pour some of her favorite oils and soaps into the tub as it finishes filing and the water immediately turns pink and brown from all of the blood and dirt.

"Are you okay?" You ask with fear in your voice.

"Yes iubirea mea, I am alright." She says with her eyes closed.

"What can I do? Do you want me to do your hair?"

"Thank you."

You climb onto the step stool behind the tub and remove whatever pins remained in Alcina's hair before shampooing and conditioning it. She washed herself before pulling the drain and stepping out of the large tub. After handing her a towel, she dries herself off and the two of you walk back into her bedroom. The wounds on her body still haven't healed although they do look better. Some are still bleeding so Bela tends to them and wraps them up before Alcina gets dressed.

"They're already looking better." Bela says.

"Damn, mom. They really must have put up a good fight." Daniela says, staring at her mothers wounds wide-eyed.

"That they did, my bug." Alcina says as she lays down.

"What happened?" You ask.

"I found a few and stalked them back to their base. Somehow I was spotted and was ambushed by nearly thirty hunters."

"THIRTY?!" Daniela exclaims.

"Approximately, I don't know the exact number. But I killed them all, except the one. He wasn't even fighting, he was just cowering in a bush while the rest of them were slain."

"He looks like a kid." You say quietly.

"Yes, he certainly is young. But that will work to our advantage. The less experienced the hunter the easier they are to pry information from."

A shiver runs up your spine and you try to put the implications of what she said out of your mind.

"Why are you healing so slowly?"

"As Heisenberg said, they are armed to the nines. Machine guns, knives, shotguns, bows and arrows. They had it all and launched one massive assault. My body can only heal so quickly after so many attacks."

"But I thought-"

"It's not the same, draga, I promise." She says, taking your hand in hers. "My healing is not slowed because of the weapons themselves, and none of these are life threatening. The way my healing works is not that I heal in the order I receive the wounds, but in order of which is worse. For example, I was shot in the arms and legs multiple times but one arrow pierced my heart. My body healed that first even though I sustained it after the other wounds. Understand?"

"I do. How many other life-threatening injuries did you sustain?"

"Quite a few. The worst being shot at close-range with a shotgun where my cadou was placed." Your eyes widen with fear and Alcina strokes your hand. "There's nothing to worry about, draga mea. That wound was by far the worst and took the most of my body's energy to heal but it happened quickly. Between that and the other wounds my healing was slowed, but not so much so that any of their attacks could have killed me."

"What can you do to speed up the healing?"

"Blood and rest."

"We'll go grab some of the reserve blood from the kitchen." Bela says.

"Wonderful, thank you girls."

The two of them swarm out of the room leaving you and Alcina alone. She turns back towards you and cuddles into her pillow. She studies your face, seeing the worry in your eyes as you look over the wounds on her body that are taking too long to heal. You're pulled from your thoughts when her finger rests underneath your chin and lifts your gaze to hers.

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean what's wrong?! Look at you!" You say as tears fill your eyes.

Alcina sighs and sits up, pulling you into her lap and wrapping her arms around you.

"I am alright iubirea mea, I promise. Please don't worry, there's nothing to be fearful of. Even though my healing was slowed they could not have killed me. I promise."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said before about the dagger, but that's completely different. The poison would slow or stop my healing and keep it from regaining it's strength. Even though I was berated with assaults my healing kept up with almost all of it until it was over. The only wounds that were left unhealed were superficial. It healed any other lethal wounds almost instantly the entire time, alright?"

"Okay." You say quietly as you rest you head against her chest.

She runs her fingers through your hair and you hold her hand in yours and place a kiss in her palm.

"Isn't fresh blood better than the reserves?"

"Yes, but I have nothing right now."

"You have me." You say as you interlock your fingers with hers.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"Draga, do you not remember what happened merely a week ago?"

"I do, but that's so different."

"I am not comfortable with feeding from you."

"Ever again?" Alcina doesn't respond and you look up at her. "You know that's ridiculous, right? You can't be afraid of feeding from me for the rest of your life."

"Draga I will not do it. I cannot lose control again."

"But the dragon isn't out or trying to come out. You never struggled with it before."

"It doesn't matter-"

"Yes it does!"

"That is enough. I am through talking about this."

"Alcina, please. You have to forgive yourself, you have to trust yourself again."

"Draga." She says with a warning tone.

"You know I'm right. And you know that my blood will help you heal faster than the cold reserves you have."

"I am done with this conversation."

"But I'm not!"

"Enough!" She says as she stares down at you. "That is enough, I am not feeding from you and that is-"

Before she can finish her sentence you slice your wrist across one of her nails, breaking the skin and causing yourself to bleed.

"Y/N!!" She yells.

You hold your wrist up to her as an offering.

"I trust you. And you need this. Please, just drink."

Tears well up in her eyes and she looks away.

"Draga, I - I can't-"

"Yes you can! Hurry before I bleed all over myself and you. You have to forgive yourself, Alcina. You have to trust yourself again. Just drink it. It's not from my neck, it's just my wrist. I know you can do it, okay? I trust you." You guide her face towards yours and look into her watery golden eyes. "I trust you. You've taken such good care of me after everything that's happened. Please, let me take care of you. Just this once."

A tear rolls down her cheek and you offer her your wrist once more. The blood is starting to drip down your other hand as you hold it. Alcina hesitates and you bring it closer to her lips.

"You can do it. I trust you. I love you."

With a shaking breath, Alcina leans towards your wrist and wraps her lips around the wound. The moment the blood hits her tongue she closes her eyes and tears fall down her cheeks. Wiping the blood on your hand on your already blood-stained pajama shirt, you reach up and cup her face, wiping away her tears.

"There you go, see? Just like that. And I'm fine, I'm not hurt, I'm not in pain, I'm okay." You say, whispering reassuring words to her as she drinks.

As the bleeding comes to a stop Alcina licks over the wound once more before pulling her lips away from your wrist. Her bottom lip quivers and she wraps her arms around you and buries her face into your neck.

"Please don't ever do that again." She says as you feel tears run down your shoulders.

"I promise. But you did it, right? You drank from me and I wasn't on the brink of death. You were able to control yourself Alcina. I'm so proud of you. I love you, so much."

"I was so afraid I was going to hurt you again."

"But you didn't. Did you feel like you were losing control?" Alcina shakes her head "no." "See? Exactly. You were fine, you didn't hurt me. There's no reason to be afraid of that - unless your dragon is out or trying to get out. When it's just you and I you have nothing to be afraid of, my love."

"But if something were to happen to you and it was because of me-"

"Stop that. Stop thinking that. The only time I was ever really hurt by you like that wasn't even you, it was your dragon. When you're in control you are never going to hurt me. I need you to know and believe that like I do. Plus, I even have a feeling your dragon might not do something like that again after the last time. But that's a theory we can test another day. For now, when it's just you and me, I am safe when I am with you. Okay?"

Alcina takes a shaking breath in and nods her head. She lifts her head from your shoulder and you cup her face, wiping away her tears with your thumbs.

"I love you, Alcina. I love you so much."

She closes her eyes and a few more tears fall before she opens them again and looks deeply into yours.

"I will never understand what I did in this life to deserve such love from such a kind soul." She says before resting her forehead against yours. "I love you with all I have, draga mea."

Alcina pulls you tighter into her and you rest your head on her shoulder as she leans her head against yours.

A few minutes later the girls return with a large carafe of blood and a glass. Bela walks over and notices her mother's wounds are nearly all healed.

"Mother, your wounds are almost all healed, what happened?" As she finishes her sentence she notices the blood on your shirt and she eyes the two of you.

Alcina says nothing and gives you a look, silently pushing you to answer.

"I helped her out." You say, showing Bela the mark on your wrist.

Bela and Daniela look at their mother wide-eyed and you cut in before they can say anything.

"In her defense, she didn't want to but I went ahead and did it anyway. It was a shallow cut and it didn't bleed too much. And she was more than in control. Everything is fine girls, don't worry."

Bela and Daniela relax a little and Bela sits the carafe and glass on the nightstand.

"Okay, well, I'm just going to leave this here anyway just in case. Do you need anything else mother?"

"No, thank you girls. I just need rest."

"Okay. Goodnight mother." Bela says before kissing Alcina on the cheek.

"Night mom, I'm glad you're looking and feeling better." Daniela says and kisses Alcina on the cheek before the two of them swarm out of the room.

You go to get up so Alcina can rest but her grip around you tightens.

"Stay." She says softly as she lays back down.

Nodding your head you allow Alcina to pull you into her embrace and you tuck yourself underneath her chin. She kisses the top of your head and sighs.

"Te iubesc atât de mult, draga mea fata." (I love you so much, my sweet girl.)

At breakfast the next morning Alcina's wounds were all healed and she was back to her normal self. She went into more detail on what happened the night before, how it took her a few hours to find the hunters and that she stalked them for about an hour before they attacked. She's not sure how they saw her but her theory was that she was close to their camp and spotters found her and had the hunters lead her away from it. She said that they suddenly changed course which raised her suspicion levels and a few minutes later she was attacked.

The fight didn't last very long and although they were able to get a few decent hits on her, they never stood a chance. Just when she was about to retrace her steps to see if she could find their camp she heard a heartbeat pounding away in a bush. She silently crept up to it and grabbed the kid and pulled him out.

Alcina laughed when she described the terror on his face and how he was trembling so badly he couldn't run away if he tried. When she stated tying him up he began to scream. She backhanded him across the face and knocked him out just in case more hunters were in the area and heard his cries for help. When he was bound she threw him over her shoulder and made her way back to the castle. He only awoke a few minutes before arriving.

"Thank goodness for that, he was insufferably annoying and if I had to listen to him cry and beg so pathetically the entire trek back I probably would have lost my temper and killed him." She said with a laugh.

The girls listened intently and with excitement at their mothers story meanwhile you sat there silently, thinking of the kid sitting in the dungeon. It would have been one thing if he tried killing her or hurting her. You probably wouldn't have any sympathy for him if that was the case. But he hid the entire time, he was too scared to fight. And now there was a good chance he was going to die. You knew he was part of a group of people that wanted your family dead, but he was also just a kid. Probably following in the footsteps of his family. Part of you felt sorry for him and hoped Alcina would show him some mercy if he was cooperative but deep down you knew that more than likely wasn't going to be the case.

"Draga?" Alcina asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" She asks, reaching over and placing a hand on your arm.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm fine."

"Something is troubling you."

"I'm okay, I was just thinking of that kid."

"Don't tell me you feel bad for him?" Cassandra deadpans.

"Cassandra." Alcina hisses.

"I know I shouldn't but I do. He's just a kid, and he wasn't even fighting, he was hiding."

Alcina cups your chin and guides your face towards her.

"Your heart is too large for your own good." She says with a warm smile.

"He's going to die, isn't he?"

"Most likely."

"Even if he cooperates? Even if he tells you everything he knows?"

"That's the fun part! You make 'em think you're going to show them mercy if they tell you everything and then you gut them anyway!" Daniela chimes in.

You feel your stomach drop and Alcina shoots a glare at Daniela who shrinks in her seat.

"Girls, that is enough. You are excused. Please let me speak with y/n in private."

"Yes mother." They say before swarming out of the dining room.

"Come." Alcina says, waving you towards her.

You stand up and she lifts you and sits you across her lap. Her fingers lift your chin towards her and she looks down into your eyes.

"You feel empathy for this, man thing?"

"I do. I know I shouldn't. Like if he attacked you, I'd feel differently about it. But he was just scared."

"He let his men die while he hid away."

"I know, but he's just a kid. Alcina you and I both know he's barely eighteen. He's so young. And I would bet he was just there because it's something his family has done for generations. Like what if he never wanted to be there in the first place?"

"Then he should have left."

"Come on, you know it's not always that easy."

"What would you like me to do then? Cut him loose and send him on his way?"

"No, I know you need information from him. I get that. But what if he complies? It feels wrong killing him anyway."

"Draga, it would be dangerous for me to just let him go after he tells us the information we need. He knows too much. Just knowing any of the layout of the castle can be dangerous if he lets the others know what he's seen here."

"I guess. But lets say he gives up the information without a fight, what's the point of torturing him afterwards?" You look up at Alcina and her eyes are gleaming, you remember how they enjoy torture and you sigh. "Right. Because it's fun for you guys."

"Oh, draga." Alcina says as she holds you tighter. "This is just the way things happen here."

"What if he tells you everything you ask for and you don't torture him and just kill him? Like a mercy kill. I know I can't convince you to keep him alive, as much as I would like to. I get how much of a threat that is if he goes back and tells everyone what he saw here. But what if you just did it as quickly and painlessly as possible?"

"Would that ease the guilt you feel?"

"A little."

"Then perhaps. I will consider it. Alright? But let me be clear, either way, he dies. And if he puts up a fight then I will not show him any mercy." She says, lifting your chip up again.

You nod your head and Alcina leans down and kisses you. When your lips part she holds your head to her chest and cuddles you.

"What on earth have you done to me?" She mumbles before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You look up and meet her eyes. "I'm finding the humanity you swore you lost decades ago." You quip with a smile.

Alcina chuckles and rests her cheek against your head. "That you are, draga mea. That you are."

The two of you sit like that for a few more minutes, enjoying each others embrace. Finally, Alcina sits up and places a kiss on your lips before lifting you off of her lap.

"Will you need to go into our chambers before you need to get ready for this evening?" She asks.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Good, because I am banning you until further notice. There are some last-minute details I need to sort before our date this evening." She says with a warm smile.

"Oh, yeah sure. Can I get ready in there or do I have to go into my old room?"

"You may get ready in our chambers. I will send a maid for you when you are allowed to enter again."

"Okay, that sounds good to me!"

"Excellent. I have some very important plans to finalize and I will not be at lunch. Of course you are permitted to attend although I suggest a light lunch since we will be meeting before our usual dinner time."

"Okay."

"I will see you, my love, tonight." She says before bending down.

"I'm very excited to see what you have planned."

"I am excited for you to see it."

Alcina kisses you passionately and your heart flutters in your chest. She looks deep into your eyes for a moment before standing back up and making her way out of the dining room.

It was still early and you had all day to kill. As excited as you were for your date tonight, your mind kept going back to the kid in the dungeon. Either way he had a death sentence, which still didn't sit right with you. But if you could only let him know that she would show a shred of mercy if he cooperated, you would at least feel like you did something to help him.

Your thoughts began to race in your head and the outline of a plan began to form. If you didn't do anything, you would feel guilty for the rest of your life. But he's just a kid, he deserves some kindness. As the maids enter the dining room to clean up what remained of your breakfast, you head out with a rough plan in place on how you can at least try and help him, for both his sake and yours.

#willalove75 #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #wlw fanfic #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu fanfic #re8 lady dimitrescu #lady alcina #alcina x female reader #alcina x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #re8 fanfiction #re8 alcina #re8 village

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thelittleliars · 3 months

Text

P.S. I Want You | Chapter 4

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Warnings: dirty talk, mentions of fireworks, (i think that's it)

Words: 5.3K

AN: I wrote like 95% of the chapter months ago and only recently it felt like the right time to edit it and change some things. I had plans for a chapter 5 & 6 happening but I'm honestly not really feeling this series anymore. I still love it dearly and that's why there will be another chapter at one point. I can't leave it all hanging like this! P.S. I Want You Masterlist

Morning rolled in way too fast for your liking. You did sleep in but it simply wasn't enough as you still felt very tired. The sound of your doorbell ringing worsened your mood, you grumpily stood up and walked towards your front door. You let out a breath of air before taking a long breath in and prepared yourself for social interaction but it was as if the universe was having it with you that day because when you opened the door, you somehow knocked your elbow against it, the pain hurt like hell. "Fucking shit!" You shut your eyes before collecting yourself and look at the person standing in front of you. Natasha stood there all shy and for a moment you didn't realize that it was her but when you did you tried to remember what happened the night before. It came to you fast that the two of you fell asleep on your couch. With one look at her clothes you instantly knew she had left at some point at night. You didn't know why you felt sad and betrayed that she just left without waking you up and telling you it face to face but the fact that she was here again had something to mean right?

She looked in your eyes for a while before asking if she could come in. You of course let her in and closed the door after she stepped into your apartment. Why she was here so early and in a new set of (changed) clothes was something you were wondering but had no desire to ask with that sour mood of yours. Without another word you went into your kitchen, Natasha followed you silently and only spoke when she saw you started to make coffee.

"I hope you're not mad at me for leaving without a note. Everything was suddenly too much for me and I had to get some air. This morning I felt guilty for leaving you so I wanted to buy you coffee to make it up to you but literally everything seems to be closed today." She frowned.

You shook your head. "I'm not mad even if it might seem right now. All I need is coffee to wake up properly."

"Okay." The small grin that appeared on her face made her look even more adorable but you didn't tell her that. Instead you told her to wait here as you wanted to freshen yourself up. Natasha took a look around your apartment again as you quickly brushed your teeth, made your hair and changed clothes before grabbing your phone from your nightstand and headed back. "No wonder everything's closed today. It's the 20th - St. Stephen's Day!" You grabbed two mugs and poured the fresh hot coffee in it, then walked over to the kitchen table where Natasha had sat herself when she saw you entering the room again. You quickly walked back to get the milk. "Need any sugar for your coffee?"

She shook her head. "No, I drink it black. Sometimes with milk to switch it up." At first she only sipped on her coffee to test the taste of it, which was heavenly, she had to complimented your coffee making skill that made you giggle. You appreciated her words anyways. "St Stephen's Day huh? Does anything open at all today?"

"Museums and thermal bath are open and so are most restaurants but that's it. Today's national holiday is to celebrate the name day of the first king of Hungary, King Stephen but also the day of the foundation of Hungary and 'the day of the new bread'." You told her as much as you could, which was barely anything but she still listened intently. And boy you felt how intently she listened to every word that came out of your mouth. Her gaze was hot as it wandered around your face, taking in every micro expression as you talked, and every now and then went to your lips. She knew you noticed it as she saw your ears turning into a shade of pink. "Would you be up to go to a museum? Wait not forget it. It's gonna be packed." You were embarrassed that you didn't think it through before opening your mouth to suggest something. What you didn't expect was how sweet Natasha was reacting. "I wouldn't mind going with you but after what happened last year I don't think it's the wisest to go outside when it's packed. There's a high chance of people recognizing me and I don't want to ruin our time together. I came here for you and only you, not for other people recognizing an ex-fugitive and Avenger."

"So a day in? Just you and me and our sexual tension." You wiggled your eyebrows. Natasha was suddenly taken aback from your boldness, she also wasn't expecting you voicing your sexual attraction so openly. You constantly look so innocent that she hadn't gotten in her head yet that your mind is very dirty. "I give it to you. You hide the lust well, I almost don't see it in your eyes but there are seconds where you crack. And what I see then.. oh lord it's fucking sexy." The redhead's body froze, her eyes widen in shock and desire, her breathe got faster as she tried to stop the thoughts from rushing in her head, she failed miserable though. She slowly could feel how turned on she got, that's what had her shift in her seat, you saw it and hid your smirk behind your mug as you drank the coffee. "It's quite hot in here maybe I shou-" She cut your teasing short. "NO! I mean it's not that hot in here. A window should do it otherwise I recommend a cold shower."

You smiled at her before you looked down at your mug. "I'm sorry for teasing you so shamelessly. I don't know what came over me. All I know is that you gave me a huge boost of confidence."

"Wow look at that. First being so bold and now getting all shy?

"It's all your doing! You drive me so crazy that I don't know how to act around you."

"I do have that affect on people." She smiles smugly. It's as if she wanted to kill you.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" You changed the topic. She told you that she didn't had anything but your coffee so when you offered to make something she quickly agreed. It was not much but you both were alright with scrambled eggs, bread with cheese or jam and some oatmeal. The two of you ate quietly breakfast quietly, only asking each other a few questions occasionally. Afterwards you retreated onto the couch with another fresh cup of coffee. As you watched a tv show you couldn't help but stealing glances at her. The woman looked so stunning with her loosened braid and the redness of her hair.. it amazed you each and every time you saw it, even drove you almost mad because you couldn't believe how she was real. Your glances turned into a stare at some point. When you got caught you got lost even more in wondering how she could be real that you didn't notice how close she came and where her hands went. "Y/N?"

"Gosh Nat." You almost moaned because of her beauty. "How are you even real? I have trouble believing that you're not heaven sent." The moment you finally realized her closeness to you, it felt like as if your heart wanted to jump out of your chest, it was beating that fast. "Right now the biggest urge I have is to make you mine. You intrigued me the second I first saw you and the more you wrote me your postcards, the more I knew I won't ever be able to let you go. We don't know each other that long and I honestly don't know that much about you but I like you a lot. But I'm honestly so afraid to scare you away by asking you to be my girlfriend so instead of asking I'll just let you know my feelings and when you're ready you can ask me or simply say an answer. Until then can I kiss you to still my urge?" You were right of having to be afraid of asking, Natasha was too overwhelmed and scared to answer. Though she had no doubts about kissing you so she leaned forward and closed the gap. Those soft kisses she indicated turned into a full make out session because you couldn't seem to get enough of her. Something in her mind had switched and everything turned more heated. Open mouth kisses lead to tangling fingers in each others hair and hot kissing trailing down your throat. "Oh sweet fucking Jesus." You cursed and moaned quietly. "I want to fuck you so bad and then I want you fucking me til it's dawn."

Natasha stopped and looked into your eyes that were hazed. "You sure do have one hell of a dirty mouth for a virgin." You raised an eyebrow. "I'm way too old to be a fucking innocent virgin. Virginity is overrated anyways."

"Who needs an innocent virgin anyways when you can get a dirty mouthed virgin because that - that is way sexier." You smashed your lips against hers again all while grabbing her waist to push your bodies so close together that there wasn't any space. Despite the kissing getting wild again, you nor her made a move beyond that. You both kind of knew it wasn't the right time. "I think I need an awful cold shower."

"Me too. How about we save water by taking one together?" She teased you a last time. You groaned and hid your face in her neck.

"You're the worst." You mumbled as you continued to hold her.

Later that day, hours after Natasha had gone to the place she rented and you had a cold shower, you hit her up with a text message.

Today 6:34 PM Fireworks along the Danube start at 9pm. Wanna go with me? I can give you a cap and sunglass as cover.

Today 7:22 PM At what time should I be at your apartment?

Today 7:24 PM Around 8:30 would be great.

Today 7:29 PM Okay sounds good. See you then :)

Exactly at 8:30 pm the doorbell of your apartment rang. Natasha was punctual and that impressed you significantly. You were once again shocked when you saw her in a grey black striped hoodie and a grey-brownish jacket over it. That outfit suited her so well. After giving her a compliment, you grabbed your keys and stuffed them into the pocket of your pants.

Together you took the metro that stops at the Parliament. There were already a tons of people which shouldn't be a surprise but it was anyways. You took Natasha's hand in your own to move through the crowd without loosing her. After a couple of minutes you found a perfect spot to stay and watch the fireworks. "I really hope that not more people will come right now. I hate when crowds basically squeeze you to death."

"You have me here so you won't get squeezed to death. I'll protect you."

"Well thank you my dear knight in shining armor." The redhead didn't say anything, she only raised an eyebrow. "Sorry my bad. I meant to say thank you my dear Avenger."

Natasha scoffed and shook her head. "You're unbelievable." You grinned at her and asked her why that was so. "You didn't know about the Avengers until a few days ago and now you're poking fun at me!"

"Wrong. I knew about the Avengers just not that all of you are the Avengers or what you look like." You explained. The banter continued until they started the firework show. And it blew you away, fireworks always blew you always since it fascinated you deeply. The sound, the colors, the patterns, the explosions. Somewhere in the middle Natasha turned your head towards her and pulled you into a sweet kiss. During that moment it really felt like a once in a lifetime kiss that created butterflies in your stomach. It was probably the start of you falling for the Black Widow.

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On the other side of the world, Yelena laughed her ass off as Kate showed her what tabloids had written about her sister. She found it extremely funny that Natasha had gotten recognized overseas this quick. She had left New York only 3 days prior and now headlines were flying around without stopping anytime soon.

Black Widow was seen with alleged girlfriend in Budapest.

Black Widow back in Budapest!

Black Widow spotted kissing an unknown Woman in Budapest.

Black Widow getting cosy with a local in Budapest.

Yelena not only sent screenshots of the headlines of the articles to her sister but she also sent the blurry photo that showed you and the redhead kissing in the middle of the crowd.

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Today 12:44 PM When are you off work?

Today 2:16 PM At 4pm, why?

Today 2:17 PM I'll be waiting for you at your apartment then. Need to talk to you as soon as possible.

Her text seemed very urgent to you, it confused you to why she needed to talk to you asap. The curiosity was killing you especially because you couldn't just call her to ask what was up. You were still at work, you had your break a little before Natasha first wrote so there was no way you were able to get another one. For the remaining two hours you were plagued by wondering what Natasha wanted to talk about. It made you incredible nervous when you saw that she wasn't standing in front of your door. You quickly unlocked your door and went inside. Natasha was pacing around your open living room and only stopped after the sound of a door closing. She quickly shoved her phone into your hands, the chat with Yelena was open - you noticed the tiny heart behind your name, the blurry photo of you together was the first of the many screenshots Yelena sent Natasha. You had to admit that the photo was pretty cute and made you feel all warm inside but that was before reading the countless headlines.

"I thought we were safe yesterday!" She started pacing again. The frustration on her face was something you noticed instantly. You stood there nervous, not knowing how to feel about everything. There weren't paparazzi's here so you should still be safe in a way.

"Nat look, we tried our best among the thousands of people that were on the streets. I know it only took one to recognize you but we are still lucky that the photo is very blurry to even make out my face." You tried to see the positive side of the situation. "And now when we go outside together then well I guess I have to wear a cap and sunglasses too. But I don't mind that as long as I'll have you."

She stopped in her tracks as she needed to be still in order to analyzing your face. The sigh you heard from her sounded defeated, you can only imagine what she must be feeling like. "I don't want you to hide yourself just to be with me but if that's the only way not to drag you into this public shit.. god this is so fucked up!"

"We just have to lay low for the next couple of days. And after that we just need a cover."

"What if I cut and die my hair?"

"W-what?" You wouldn't mind seeing a new hairstyle on her but it still shocked you.

"Nobody would recognize me of I cut my hair short and die it blonde. I always wanted to try it out and this is the perfect opportunity for it."

"Are you sure Natasha?" She nodded. "Okay uhh one of my co-worker's husband a hairdresser. They're both always discreet with things. I could ask her tomorrow at work."

"You'd really do that?" You nodded. "Then yes please ask her." She walked over to you and gave you a kiss. "Thank you." Once again you only nodded your head. Suddenly your stomach grumbled loudly, you had yet to eat something before starting dinner. Natasha playfully scolded you for not having eaten yet. You then took an apple and ate it in front of her. "Do you want to stay for dinner?" She hesitantly agreed your invitation. "Okay good. I need to go to the grocery store though. Wanna stay here or come with me?"

"I think it's best to stay, if that's alright with you?" You assured her that it was fine and to make herself feel at home. Grocery shopping didn't take long but you came back to Natasha sitting in your reading chair with your fluffy blanket and a book in her hand. A cup of hot coffee or tea and a lit candle were on the small wooden table next to her. The sight of her melted your heart and since it seemed like she hadn't heard you coming in, you took the chance to secretly take a photo of her. After looking if the photo came out good you proceeded putting all the groceries in the kitchen.

Then you were leaning against your bookcase that was near her. "How's the book?" You asked softly, not wanting to startle her. She immediately put a piece of paper in the book and closed it. "It's amazing." Her attention was fully on you.

You smiled at her answer. "I'm glad to hear it. That's one of my favorites."

"I figured." She replied. "You have a lot of different editions of the book and you even put those post it notes in it." She pointed to the colorful index makers you had put in it. And since you loved annotating every book you read, you had your stuff for that in a small box on your shelf.

"I'm usually very picky and cautious of giving other people my books but if you're certain that you want to finish the book then I'll even allow you to annotate it too." You came closer and pointed to the markers. She was thinking about it before something else came to her mind. Natasha decided to snatch your hand and pulled you onto her lap. She then gently put the book onto the table. "I might want to finish something else first." The woman told you as she leaned towards your face.

"Something or someone?" You asked while watching her eye movement closely. She sighed and rested her forehead against yours. "You're driving me crazy."

"What if we just decide to have sex?" You asked boldly. "I mean we're both adults with clear conscious of what we'd do. We also went on a date already.. so what do you say?" She sighed. "I don't want your first time to be rushed. I'm afraid that one day you'll regret losing your virginity to me." Her concern was heart warming and instead of answering as softly as her you needed to make it more jokingly. "Aren't first times always something you regret?" You raised your brow.

"Let's wait and see if you still find me attractive with short and dyed hair." She countered back. You gave her a sad smile. "Not gonna lie, I'll miss your red hair." You rested your arms on her shoulders and put your hands in the nape of her neck playing with her hair. "I definitely need a photo of us where you still have your red hair."

"You have that paparazzi or rather fan photo." That was true but it wasn't the same. "But it doesn't show my pretty side." You pouted.

"You have a pretty side? Since when?" She joked. You put your hand over your heart. "Man this is cruel. My confidence took a hard hit from your words."

"Let me make it up to you with a kiss." She said before she kissed you gently.

"I need more than one kiss." She was about to kiss you again when your stomach announced itself. You kissed her quickly before standing up. "Apparently my body need me more than I need kisses. Sorry! I really should start dinner."

"Now this is what you call cruel." She groaned while you giggled.

Natasha went back to reading as you cooked dinner. You did a simple creamy tuscan chicken pasta for her. If you had more time you would have made Csirke Paprikás (Chicken Paprikash) but the spaetzle for that dish take a while to make. Maybe you could invite her to stay over the weekend and surprise her with the delicious food.

When you were finished cooking, you set the table and called Natasha to come. Both of you made light conversation over the food that the redhead seemed to love. As it was getting later she said her goodbyes and thanked you again for dinner. For the first time in a long time you slept like a rock that night.

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The next day around 12 pm Natasha received a text message from you, telling her that the hairdresser husband had some free time and could squeeze the redhead in if she was sure to really cut and dye her hair.

Natasha was very conflicted if she really should do it but she knew she had to choose quick so she didn't think about it too long before she texted you her answer.

Cancel it. I have a better idea.

You didn't hear another word from her that day and half of the following day. Shortly after she knew your work day were over she asked via text message if she could come over. You texted her back, saying she was welcome anytime. So it wasn't a surprise to see her in your apartment when you arrived home. "How'd get in?" You asked her as you studied Natasha. She still had her red hair and it was also still the same length as before.

"Picked your lock." Then she shrugged like it was nothing. You closed the door behind you before taking off your shoes and walking further in the room. "I need to buy a better lock then. So.. you haven't changed your hair."

She hummed and nodded in agreement. With slow but steady steps she was quick to be right in front of you. "Something constantly reminded me the sad and longing expression you had on your when I said I'd change it up." That was only part of the whole truth. She couldn't never admit the other part out loud. She'd come off too strong otherwise.

"You should do what feels right for you and not get influenced by others." You told her. "Though I'm actually a tiny bit glad you're still a redhead."

"You sure are into redheads huh?" You blushed deeply since she was spot on. "I'm flattered."

"Y-you're flattered? When you look like that." You looked up and down her whole figure. "Like a - like a literal goddess and I look like a potato!" She leaned towards your ear, feeling the hot air that was her breath, it gave you goosebumps and as soon as her raspy voice hit your eardrums you got weak in the knees. "Potatoes might look average to some people but once you change them into fries, those 'potatoes' are suddenly pretty popular."

"You're seriously comparing this with actual potatoes??" She nodded. "Yeah why not?"

"Because that doesn't make me feel less flustered." You admitted quietly while she smirked at your confession. "Oh my, Y/N does this little teasing actually turn you on?"

"How couldn't it? I mean with a voice like yours..! Anyways -" You tried to change the direction of the conversation but she cut you off. "No, no don't change the topic on me now this is too interesting. Tell me, what are things that turn you on?"

"You can't be serious Nat."

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" She looked so serious that it kinda frightened you. "I uhh-" Your brain was empty, you didn't come up with anything. "You put me on the spot and now I can't think of anything!" Natasha giggled, she loved the affect she had on you. "Enough about me, what is something that turns you on?"

"The other person being dominant especially in a domestic environment. And when someone plays with my hair." She clears her throat and looked away after she said the last sentence. The woman had said the other reason that she swore she wouldn't admit out loud of why she did not cut her hair cut. You gasped as you realized exactly that. "I guess there are more things but I-" You cut her off with a short unexpected kiss. Natasha thought she'd be embarrassed after admitting something so personal but she didn't feel that way. It was because you didn't judge her, there was no need for judgement in your eyes. She leaned her forehead against yours as she took in the needed comfort you gave her. You saw her relaxing even more when your arms went around her shoulder and your fingers curled in her hair. "I guess your voice is the biggest turn on for me. The different tones of your voice when you talk, especially your teasing voice has just something.. I don't know how to explain it but let's just say the range of your voice is sexy as fuck. But don't get me wrong, I can and do appreciate your voice simply as it is without getting turned on! I don't want you to think that I sexualize anything you do or say."

"Thank you for being honest and treating me like I'm human." With the way she talked you assumed that most people didn't treat her well and that broke your heart. You were lucky that people weren't cat calling you on streets so you can only imagine how much worse it must be for women who are as stunning as Natasha and also who were in the public eye constantly. "Fuck everyone who doesn't treat you like human! You are not a puppet, you are not a robot or some toy to be played with! You and every other single woman are human beings that simply should be treated like any other human being." You took a deep breath to calm you down. "The idea that just popped into my head is ridiculous. I wanted to show you how you should be treated.. with sex but that's not the only way to demonstrate being treated right or be intimate with one another. So my dear Natasha Romanoff, what does your heart desire? Do you like flowers? Chocolate? Or books? Some people like CD's and Vinyls better. I'd even buy jewelry if you're into that? I'd even make those self made 'friendship' bracelets for us even though I don't have patience for that type of stuff."

"Your consideration is very heart warming Y/N." You felt her playing with the hem of your shirt. It made you think that she was a bit nervous. "I honestly don't know if I like to be showered with so much affection. I had a rough childhood with a much more difficult teenage hood so maybe a hug is all I need right now."

And so you hugged her for a long time. Turned out you needed a hug as badly as she did too. After a while you both moved to the couch and cuddled. At some point though you had the urge to hold Natasha in a spooning position. She agreed when you asked if it were possible to spoon for some minutes. Those few minutes turned into 30 minutes of enjoying each other's closeness. That half an hour was intimate and it somewhat bonded you both in a way you couldn't describe. "Are you ready to get up?" You asked as you planted a kiss on her shoulder. She turned her head as much as she could towards you. "5 more minutes?" You nodded and quickly stole a kiss from her. "I hope you don't mind me stealing so many kisses from you. Also in those five minutes you requested, could be switch positions? I wanna be hold by you now." You pouted with your mouth like a little puppy.

"Your kisses are always unexpected but I let it slide since they're nice." She then turned her body with her hands on you, ushering you to do the same. You groaned at the sudden warmth change but turned around anyways. The arm that was looped around your waist had a nice comfortable weight and you almost didn't want to change that if you hadn't schemed another plan already. You wanted her hand to rest somewhere else, somewhere where it'd be more cozy, and that would be your boobs. You grabbed her hand and lead it up your t-shirt until the palm of her hand was touching your breasts. "This is so much better." It was the only thing you said. Not even a minute later, you felt soft pressure as she had started to groped your boob gently. The bra you wore was holding back a lot but from everything that you did feel was simply heavenly. "If only I were naked." You uttered the words with an almost inaudible moan. To tease you even further Natasha began to leave warm - nearly wet kisses on your neck. "Oh fuck, don't stop please." The pleading was now turning on the redhead. She never thought that being a little submissive would be so sexy. "Sweet Jesus I'm in heaven."

"We've barely even started yet Detka and you're acting all on edge already." She mused. You groaned again but this time at the little embarrassment you felt. "It was one moan! Don't judge me for something you are doing to me." The redhead grinned then dove back into kissing you. She lulled a few more moans out of you before she stopped. "The 5 minutes are over. Let's get our butts up and do something productive."

"If your 'productive' isn't making sweet love in the bedroom then no thank you."

"Do you own a strap on or a vibrator?" You shook you head. "Then we won't make sweet love in your bedroom."

"Why are you trying to find an excuse right now? You of all people know that we don't need that to have fun. You have ten wonderful functioning fingers and big mouth to use. Not only that but scissoring, tight riding, abs riding exist."

The Widow looked embarrassed to the ground while trying to find the courage to tell you the truth. She huffed before speaking up. "I have scars."

"Scars? That's it? Wow that makes you really so inhuman I'm scared." You joked which you then realized was the false move since you saw Natasha visibly tense. "I'm- I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. Look, we all have scars. Either visible ones or hidden inside of us but those just show us how human we are, that we're not invincible." You took her hands into your. "Nat, having scars doesn't mean you're damaged or ugly. It means you survived the worst and shows how strong you are. And besides the point, I find scars so incredible sexy that I'd fall to my knees and worship every little one you have." She smiled at that before her lips crashed into yours. Hot and wet kisses were happening followed by a swift move of her lifting you up by your ass that got you wrapping your legs around her waist. Before you even knew it your back hit the mattress and your hands were pinned above your head. Her mouth wandered around your whole body, later followed by her hands that left not spot undiscovered.

Taglist: @dcrogoy , @arcturusseer , @comet-forgot-you , @arualdcg , @kksalexa , @imnatobsessed , @presser24 , @jasminerose28 , @wannabe-fic-reader , @lonewalker17 , @mrsrushman , @ctrlamira , @red1culous , @alianovnasposts

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #black widow x female reader

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livwritesstuff · 2 months

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So you know how parents always have that *one* story about a time where their kid scared them beyond this universe — like their kid could be a daredevil and constantly trying their patience but this particular story is the most harrowing, scariest situation they’ve been in. (This may not be universal but I’m hoping I’m explaining it right lol)

What do you think would be Steve and Ed’s stories for each of the girls?

tw: hospitals, illness, car accidents, in general proceed w/caution if sensitive to children sustaining injuries/illnesses

When Moe was about six months old, she got sick – really sick, hospital-trip sick. All Steve really remembers is that one minute her appetite wasn’t what it usually was, and the next her temperature had spiked to 104 and something about her breathing was not normal and they were on their way to the ER.

They'd ended up staying for three days, Steve didn't sleep the entire time, and because it was before Moe's adoption was finalized, they had all kinds of DFS paperwork to fill out in addition to the mountain of documents the hospital had given them. Steve remembers having to coordinate with Ed dropping everything off at the DFS office and thinking for the first time ever in their years of fostering kids how stupid it was that he was expected to focus on following DFS procedure instead of being there for his baby girl.

The scariest moment with Hazel was the time they lost her.

They’d been at the New England Aquarium with all three girls on a Saturday afternoon – ridiculous, in both Steve and Eddie's opinion, and honestly they weren't even able to enjoy outings like these because they’re still in the stage where they spend the entire time anxiously keeping track of the girls (who were having the time of their lives, obviously – that's why they're suffering through it).

So when Steve did a headcount like he usually does every so often and came up with two, his heart flipped over. He checked again, and again only counted two.

Triple-checks. Two.

In real-time, they hadn't lost sight of Hazel for more than ten seconds, but it was the longest ten seconds Steve had ever lived by a mile, and he’d spent the whole time thinking that it had to be the worst-case for a situation like this because it was Hazel. If Moe or Robbie got separated from them, they would have no problem marching up to the first person in an NEA shirt they could find and demanding help finding their dads. Hazel, though, is quiet and shy and usually stuck to them like glue. She won’t talk to strangers in the best of moments, so there was no chance she’d find it in herself to try during a bad one.

Turns out, Hazel had been so mesmerized by the jellyfish that even after they all moved on to the next display, Hazel just had to turn back to get one more look, and Eddie had his head screwed on tight enough that day to think of checking there first.

Later, Steve reneged on their plan to take the girls to Boston Pride (which would have been in a few weeks) because it had been scary enough losing track of Hazel in an enclosed space where there were only so many places she could wander off to. The idea of it happening in the dead center of the city, with all those crowds of people, with infinite directions for her to go…no chance. They’d try again next year.

Between all three girls, the scariest moment by goddamn lightyears was Robbie.

When Robbie was fifteen – a high school freshman but placed in the senior-level band class – the school took their music classes (band, orchestra, chorus) to Disney World for the performing arts workshops they offer in the spring.

The student-adult ratio on trips like these is pretty terrible and, in Steve's opinion, there is too much unsupervised independent time for a group of high school students.

Way too much.

A few days into the trip, one kid – a senior with a fake ID who Robbie was friends with through band – managed to commandeer a car and convince a group of kids to blow off curfew and secretly explore the city.

Three hours and half a liquor-store’s worth of alcohol later, Steve got a call from one of the chaperones telling him that his fifteen-year-old was unresponsive in a hospital in Florida.

Planning their last family vacation had taken three entire months of planning and indecision and research.

It took less than five minutes for Steve to get flights booked for the next plane bound for Orlando.

“Maybe if she hadn’t gone on the trip in the first place…” Moe trailed off innocently as she watched her dads pack – she's anything but innocent though. Moe had been pissed to all hell that Robbie got to go to Disney World and she didn’t. She’d spent weeks trying to weasel her way onto the trip to no avail, and she’d been sulking the entire four days Robbie had been gone.

“Not another word,” Eddie warned her, his tone icier than perhaps he’s ever heard directed at one of his kids. Moe opens her mouth to retort, but he cuts her off, "So fuckin' serious, Moe. Not the time."

Robbie had been in pretty rough shape when they finally arrived which was horrible to see – especially for Steve, who had always connected the way Robbie was similar to Eddie with the way Eddie almost died, so seeing her unconscious in a hospital bed, light brown curls strewn out over the sterile-white sheets and tangled amongst all kinds of tubes and wires was pretty much a nightmare come to life.

He was actually thankful for Eddie’s threats to find the idiot driving the car and murder him because he seemed pretty serious about it and making sure he didn't do that gave Steve something to focus on other than counting the hours Robbie had been in the hospital all alone.

#not a happy one folks #liv’s steddie dads verse #steddie #steddie dads #steve harrington #eddie munson #tw: illness #tw: car accident #tw: hospital

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dabivrse · 20 days

Text

scrap metal ♡ (frobin)

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genre: hurt/comfort

pairings: nico robin x franky

wc: 2.2k

cw: mental illness, depression, body dysmorphia, dysphoria (but like cyborg dysphoria), comfort, angst, fluff, suggestive references, self harm, franky feels less than human

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

I know x reader tends to do better on this app but I deeply adore frobin and I've always thought about the idea of franky struggling with his humanity. Its been a headcanon of mine since he was properly introduced.

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Franky could never understand people who didn't have an inner monologue. His brilliant mind runs a hundred miles a minute; he's always got something to think about. He internally discusses future inventions and ship-building plans or sings to himself while he works. He spends most of his time thinking about his Nico Robin. He replays the day she said yes to being his partner in his head daily; he could spend hours thinking about her hair and smile. The mere thought of her tears fills Franky with a deep-seated rage. All she has to do is look at him, and he's on cloud nine.

Franky is in his development room, working on a new weapon design, when the door creaks open. He looks up to see Robin making her way over to where he's standing by his desk.

“Hello, pretty lady,” he says, his voice raising in volume as his mood picks up instantly upon seeing the woman he loves. Robin giggles at the affectionate term and stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss the underside of Franky's jaw.

“Hello, Honey.” One of Franky's large hands settles around her waist to keep her at his side. Thinking about Robin when she's not with him, his emotions run high, but when she's in his arms, he's completely relaxed and able to enjoy her company without wandering fears of losing her literally or figuratively. He leans down and pushes his face into her neck; the cold of his metal nose makes her flinch at first, but once she adjusts to the feeling, she threads a hand through his hair and lets out a happy sigh as Franky presses his lips to her skin. He's wary of how much bigger than Robin he is and hurting her is an unforgivable sin, so he's gentle with his affection. He might be gentle, but he's still a pervert, so when his palm opens up to reveal a smaller hand that dips into the waistband of Robin's skirt, she tugs his hair to get him to lean back and look her in the eyes. She presses a kiss to his lips, which he happily reciprocates. “As handsome and tempting as you are, you need to behave. Anybody could walk in.”

She's right - of course, she is - Usopp, Chopper and Nami are all frequent visitors to Franky's workshop. He nods at her words, flushing red at the compliments. The compliments he's used to refer exclusively to how cool and ‘inhuman’ he looks. People tell him how talented he is as a shipwright and inventor in general, but anything regarding his looks comes off more as someone talking about a suped-up car than a human being. It's the one thing he can't get used to in his relationship with Robin. He knows she's not lying to him and that she really does find him attractive, but he still can't grasp how different it feels to be desired. He's completely prideful and not at all shy when he's pleasing her. In the bedroom, he's fully confident, but something as sweet and innocent as a kiss on the cheek has him so shell-shocked that he can barely speak.

“So, how come my beautiful angel came to visit me?” Franky asks after clearing his throat and going back to staring at his blueprints. Robin cheerfully laughs at the pet name. Franky has asked her how she really felt about all his dramatic names for her, and she had told him that they make her feel special; she had also made a morbid comment under her breath about how they'd add to an emotional yet creative eulogy for her one day and Franky had pretended not to hear it.

“I wanted to make sure you're getting enough food and cola”, she smiles, kissing the left side of his chest. Robin places a plate of food down on the desk, and he guesses Sanji had dished up dinner and Franky had been so focused on his getting some work done that he hadn't heard the cooks call for food over his inner argument over what size gun to add to his robot. He thanks Robin and begins to eat. When he's finished with his food, Robin picks up the plate and leaves, promising him she'll visit later as she goes.

Franky is once again left alone with his thoughts.

As he's working, his reflection in a mirror leaning against the wall catches his eye and Franky flinches. Sometimes, he forgets what he looks like and seeing a huge cyborg as flashy as him is jarring. He has to remind himself he's not a little child anymore; he's something way cooler. He goes back to his work and tries to ignore the thoughts that begin to swarm him. His eyes keep getting drawn to the metal on his body. He recalls how earlier Robin had flinched at the cold metal of his nose and how difficult it is sometimes just to hold her without fear he'll hurt her. Sometimes, he thinks she would be better off with someone who can keep her warm at night, like Jinbe or maybe someone younger and more conventionally attractive, like Zoro or Law. Franky is a brash and loud man, but deep in the pits of his heart, there still lies the broken, abandoned kid. The feelings of worthlessness that took over his body as a child never truly left him; even after he tried over and over again to replace them with metal.

His smaller hands shake as he finishes his food and pushes his plate away. He tries to pick up his pen and write again, but he can't focus at all. His initial plans have taken a backseat to the unrelenting self-doubt that he tries to keep locked away behind his smile. He pushes on with his work, absent-mindedly scribbling down plans for a self-upgrade. He doesn't realise he's crying until the door handle clicks and snaps him back to his senses. Now he's acutely aware that he's crying and that one of his crewmates is about to see him. Franky's manly tears aren't unheard of, so he's able to play it off to usopp, who has come to ask about weapon materials, as simply inventing something so cool it's made him emotional. Usopp laughs, tells Franky he can't wait to see it and leaves after getting the advice he'd requested. The tears leave Franky feeling off-kilter for the rest of the day.

Later that night, Franky is entirely unable to sleep. He tries to focus on Robin, who's sleeping beside him and matches her breathing, but it doesn’t work. He shifts around to get comfortable and rests a large hand on Robin's waist, and then it all comes crashing down. That hand is not a human hand. When you press his metal nose, it changes his hair, and that's not human anatomy. His stomach has an empty chamber that uses cola as a fuel, and that's not human. He has weaponry built into his body, and that's not human. Franky is not human.

He makes a strangled noise as if he's gasping for air, and he scrambles to his feet. The noise wakes Robin, and she asks what's wrong, voice laced with concern. Franky doesn't notice she's awake, and he can't hear her question over the uncomfortable ringing in his ears. He makes his way out to the deck, ignoring the worried expressions of Nami and Usopp, who are still awake. He can't verbally describe how he feels, but he reaches to his shoulder, where metal meets skin, and begins to claw. His fingers dent the metal with force, and he only stops when a hand much larger than his covers his and stops his movements. He looks up and sees Robin has used her power. She leans down to where he's knelt on the deck and when she comes into view, Franky notices she has tears in his eyes. He can hear Nami crying behind him and sees Usopp shaking out of the corner of his eye. A new feeling stirs in his gut that makes him feel ten times worse.

He feels guilty for upsetting them. He apologises, but Robin shushes him, cradling his face in her hands. The gentle care with which she approaches him is enough to kick-start the waterworks and Franky is once again reduced to tears. He sobs so hard it causes a sharp pain in his chest. Robin shoos away the younger strawhats and promises to give them an update later. It's now just the two of them and Franky slumps forward, burying his face into Robin's shoulder. His tears haven't subsided, but he starts to apologise before he can stop himself. He repeats ‘I'm sorry’, and though Robin's skin muffles the sound, she can hear him fine and well.

“What are you apologising for, sweetheart? What's wrong?” asks Robin, wiping his tears with her thumbs, and she holds his face to look at her. Franky flounders for an answer, struggling to find his voice. Robin is patient as always and gives him a moment to collect himself.

He doesn't know what to say. How can he tell her he feels alien, like a passenger in his own body? That his ‘skin’ doesn't feel like it belongs on his body. He doesn't know how to explain how nauseous the sight of his own ‘body’ has been making him feel without sounding crazy. Robin is an understanding woman, but how much can she take?

“I feel more like a box of scrap metal than a human”, he says, cringing at how raspy and unsure his voice sounds. Robin remains silent, expression unchanging as she listens to his explanation. “I just wanted to get out of this ugly body. I didn't mean to scare you or the kids”, he says. He tries to avert his eyes despite Robin's hold on his face. He worries he's upset Robin further, but she leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

“First of all, I'm not scared of you, and neither are Nami and Usopp. We're just worried about you because we love you.” she says, moving a hand from his face to run it through his hair. “Secondly, your body is not ugly. You're my Franky and I like you just the way you are.” Her voice wraps around the violent words in his mind and strangles them out, easing his mind slightly. “I'm not going to pretend that I understand your pain, but I do know how it feels to be shunned, and I want you to know that will never happen to you here with us.”

Franky listens intently as Robin speaks. Her words don't take away his pain, but they at least calm him down. The strange, itchy feeling under his skin eases up and he relaxes in Robin's embrace. He kisses her neck and whispers a thank you in her ear. She's patient with him as he lets her comforting words repeat in his head. His tears have stopped, but there's still one question bothering him, and he's unsure if it's appropriate to ask right now. Sensing that he has something to say, Robin encourages him to speak up.

“Do you ever consider leaving me? Like don't you want someone more attractive like -” This time, instead of being patient and letting him finish, Robin cuts him off with a scoff, shuffling so she's sitting in his lap.

“You look at me right now, silly man,” she says, guiding him to look in her eyes. “I love you, I want you, I need you,” she says. Surprisingly, it's the word ‘want’ that gets him the most. It's not that Robin needs Franky around to fulfil some type of urge but simply that she wants to spend time with him. They like each other just as much as they love each other, and the reassurance makes Franky's stomach stir for an entirely different reason. “and there is no one as attractive as you. You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” she punctuates her sentence with a kiss to his lips. Franky feels much better now.

“What about Jinbe?” Franky asks to lighten the mood. It's common knowledge that Robin had a crush on Jinbe at first (so did Franky, but he'll never admit it)

“Hey! You like him too. We invited him into the bedroom once. You're my man forever,” she says, laughing into another kiss. They're sitting in silence for a while when Robin starts to yawn. “Now that you're feeling better. Do you want to go to bed?” she says, covering his cheeks in more kisses. Franky gets to his feet, scooping Robin up and carrying her off to bed

When Franky wakes up the following day, Robin is pressed up against his side and he feels at peace. As if she can sense him staring at her, Robin opens her eyes for a second, then smiles and goes back to sleep, snuggling further into his side. Franky feels content as he relaxes into the mattress. For now, his unsure feelings have subsided, and he feels more like himself. He knows they're likely to come again, but he also knows he'll have Robin and the rest of his family to help him.

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frobin is so cute to me so I just wanted to write a cute comfort oneshot about them 😭

#franky my beloved ☹️#one piece #frobin #franky #robin #cyborg franky #nico robin #franky x robin #one piece oneshots #one piece imagine #anime #franky imagine #robin imagine #frobin imagine #frobin oneshot #op #☁️.one piece #☁️.robin #☁️.franky

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theroguequeen · 5 months

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The brothel scene

okay we all know I have a soft spot for younger rhaenyra and daemon and sometimes I still think about the brothel scene (just kidding maybe I think about this like every day lol) and what can I say I rewatched it today and my mind is running wild so here we are

Starting with the moment daemon shows up and is just standing there with his silly little hood over his head, not saying a word just looking at her and the way her face lights up full of pure excitement and joy and him casually grabbing her hand and there's not a moment of hesitation.

I know some people will be like that this whole city trip was just manipulation and so on and I personally think of course he had a plan for that night, but there's a change in the dynamic slowly and god it all goes over board later

When they are strolling through the streets daemon puts his hood a little more over his face and rhaenyra mimics him, doing the same while her laugh is ringing in his ears, seeing her so careless as some man is bumping into them

Daemon does not push him away but you know he is ready to it and than you have rhaenyra saying almost proudly "he called me boy"

The whole time you hear the loud crowd, people talking, even moaning and you can see how rhaenyra comes to life again, the excitement being outside, people not nociting her or at least not saying anything and acting so differently than at court, this is not about the throne, not about being the heir, this is her still young and thirsty for knowledge and new experience

And as we know this is the night where she loses her virginity, leaving something behind and entering a new chapter of womenhood

Daemon is handing here something to drink and there is fire and the mummer asking her "do you wish to know your death, child?" we as viewers know the tragedy behind this, but she does not, even laughs at it and her eyes are always wandering to daemon who till know did not say a word and just let her be, let her see, feel, smell

Now we are at the mummers play and daemon is watching it with her but is although looking at her, noticing every little motion on her face, seeing how her smile fades for a moment as Rhaenyra is hearing the people talking so casually about one of the most painful events in her life and there is the question "but would she be a strong and powerful queen" and the people booing and rhaenyra shouting against them and daemon saying to her that many of the people do want a male heir, the ongoing burden that lays on her shoulders and her turning away saying "there wants have no consequences" and daemon laughing but not taking his eyes of her, reminding her that after all it has consequences still not looking away, as he knows how that makes her feel for sure.

And for me it's clear that at the end of the night he realized that she will be a strong and powerful queen.

You can see that rhaenyra is upset and a little bit angry, her voice gets a little harsh as she replys "for one night I wish to be free of my inheritance" as she takes something to eat and running away even so daemon reminds her that common people get punished for stealing.

To me this underlines how desperate she is to just feel free, that she knows she is safe with daemon, provoking him, teasing him by running away so he has to follow her and knowing that he will.

And here we are - at the brothel, moaning all around, rhaenyra wandering around not knowing where to look at but not as shocked as some might expected her to be. This is new, yes, but she is not scared. She is ready to explore something new as she was the whole night.

On the other hand there is daemon, this is a place he knows by heart, spending endless nights there, fucking but never really feeling fully pleasured because the women may be beautiful and only there for his own pleasure but none of them are the one on his mind, hunting him in his sleep. There hair is not silver, their eyes are not hers, their moans are not hers. Not yet.

He is confident, the way he walks towards rhaenyra and once again she follows him. And she is not asking to leave this place, not once even if the moans are getting even louder and he brings her into a room full of people. There's nudity. Pleasure. And you know what? Even now she does not turn away. She stays. Looking at him. Following him. She does not shy away. She knows she is safe. And daemon feels that too. He sees it in her eyes. Some part of him maybe thought she would want to leave but on the other hand he was sure she wouldn't. He is is aware of what he is doing.

"fucking is a pleasure"

There it is. The four words. And she is still looking at him, not moving. Remember their conversation from earlier, about her having to marry someone, about her not feeling free. About finding no pleasure in the thought of having to marry just to produce heirs.

But there is is. Pleasure. True pleasure. Rhaenyra does not hesitate when he kisses her, she is leaning into the kiss, grabbing him, pulling him closer. Again, no fear, just the desperate need to feel his touch, to be seen as a women, not as the child she was. She wants this. She wants him. And I think this is what makes daemon stunned. The soft touch of her lips, not knowing exactly what will happen but ready to go all in here and now.

"fucking who we want."

She wants him. And him realizing he feels the same, this is not about manipulation anymore, this is not a game, she is in his arms, her body pressing against his. The longing. Yearning. Aching for his touch. She is so much more than he could even imagine.

The whole time they are not taking their eyes of each other. In this moment it's only them, the world stands still.

It are her moans who are filling the room now and as he is behind her she turns around just to grab him again, wanting feel him, but although wanting to see his face, not wanting him to stop but to go on while being seen by him.

And as looks in her eyes he realizes that she would sleep with him. That she will not stop this on her own. That she wants this. With him. Now.

She tries to kiss him again, there's even a little smile. Daemon gets almost paralyzed you can see how he stops himself, because this is not a whore, not some random women, this is rhaenyra and you even if his look almost gets cold, it's not because he does not want her, it is because of how much he wants her, his head turning into a whole mess as he realizes that what ever plan he might have had is gone, worthless, because all those feelings are just so intense and he has to force himself to let go of her.

And again this is because it's rhaenyra. Because he will not take her virginity in this damn brothel. He knows this is precious. This is meaningful. That this is not about his own pleasure but about her and that she deserves so much more.

"Wed her to me. I want Rhaenyra."

#daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon x rhaenyra #daemyra #hotd #I don't know what this is but there was so much inside of my head while rewatching #like this whole episode was something else #help me lol #this felt like a fever dream #but a good one #daemon trying to drown himself in alcohol after this like whopsi why am I feeling things help make it go away #“I WANT RHAENYRA. WED HER TO ME.”

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transfemzedaph · 3 months

Note

idea that definitely hasnt been living in my brain:

joel totally, 100%, does NOT have a massive crush on zedaph. zedaph, who he's heard a lot of things about but, but nothing could've prepared him for how blummin' cute he is, for goodness sake-- what. what? don't look at him like that. it's nothing. shut up.

(hope u like this even if u dont write smth for it DJBDJD)

i fucking loved this ask so much <3. i transed joel & zeds genders. bc im me. also the end is meh & i dont know what grians base looks like and i do not care

Of course Joel had heard about Zedaph, how could they not have. There was the rest of ZITS in the life series, Skizz specifically when he found out the both of them were joining, and of course Grians run down of all of the hermits. The basic gist of it was she's weird in a cool way and makes creative and useless but fun machines, which honestly, Joel thought sounded really awesome. Redstone was fine and all but they did tend to think most redstoners were way too serious about the whole thing.

So when Joel was invited over to be the first person to test Zeds newest thing, they were excited!

What none of any of his friends had told them, was how flippin cute she was. And yeah maybe Joel ended up stumbling over their words more than usual whilst hanging out, and yeah maybe they were a little bit distracted from the game? activity? workout? whatever it was, Joel was a bit distracted because they kept watching Zed.

Joel rushes their goodbyes and runs off back home, laying face down on the floor of their newly built home, void they should have put some furniture in already.

Grian wanders over and lets out a little snort at the sight of Joel, who just groans and rolls over, propping themself up a bit,

"This is all your fault."

Grian just stares.

Joel locks eyes with him face scrunching, "You didn't tell me she was cute."

Grian, promptly bursts out laughing.

"Gri, no, this isn't funny. This is serious. And she's gonna think I'm an idiot now and it's all your fault!"

Grian's still laughing.

Joel sits then self up and crosses their arms indignantly, "Are you done?"

Grian's giggling a bit when he replies, "You've got it so bad! For a blonde! Again! You have a type sooo bad."

Joel kicks their leg out towards Grian, grumbling slightly, "Yeah well, you're blonde but you're ugly and I hate you. So there."

Grian sits himself down next to Joel, bumping their shoulder with his own as he does.

"Honestly I bet Zed loved hanging out with you. Don't worry yeah? And at least next time you can compose yourself before you hang out."

Joel leans their head on Grians shoulder.

"Yeah." They sigh, picking at their fingernails, before mumbling "Think 'm just overthinking it cause of being new 'n all that. Just dont wanna make anyone hate me."

Grian scoffs, "No one is going to hate you, and you know Skizz, and probably Tango and Impulse as well, have all talked to Zed about you? Why do you think she invited you to hang out?"

Joel hums.

"To me it seems like she was also trying to impress you too, showing off what she made?"

Joel blushes, halfheartedly giving Grian a little shove, "Shut up."

It's a couple of days later when Joel barges into Grians house, "I have an excuse to go visit Zed!"

Grian sighs, "And you had to come and tell me about this? Right now?"

Joel takes in the scene, Mumbo, standing next to a coffee machine, his moustache looking very lackluster, Grian almost curled up on his stool, hands clasped around a mug.

Joel winces, "Uh, what time is it?"

"Too early for this nonsense, shoo." Grian lazily waves one hand in Joels general direction to usher them away.

Joel grumbles to themself as they walk away, "Whatever, Grian doesn't get to know my really cool and awesome plan of going over and saying that we need to beat Impulse and Tangos high score without being a bit cheaty like they were. Which is the best plan ever."

#original post tag #ask tag #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #yeah. gay people djbdjd #writing tag #also i think its rlly funny of me that i went mumbo? sleepy & without coffee? moustache looks like shit.#also mumbo after ghis is like hey what? grian is like ugh joels got a crush #mumbo be like. imagine having a crush on someone. couldnt be me. hashtag aro swag.#hermitshipping

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nr1chaedickrider · 4 months

Text

finally.. the long awaited doughnut theory of mine, before i start im gonna tell yall that a theory isnt smth canon, and everyone sees it differently. so this is my theory!

Music videos you need to watch so it makes sense: Doughnut, Kura Kura, Better

Better MV

Since this mv only has one scene that in my opinion fits my theory im gonna do it first (pls watch the mv before reading this, the scene is with dahyun rather in the end)

So we all know that the better mv was released wayyy before doughnut, but there is this one scene with dahyun that i first havent even noticed when i watched the mv, but the second i saw it i knew somehow that it fits my theory well.

Im talking about the scene where dahyun puts her finger over her mouth, in a way to maybe signal us to be quiet?

But why should we be quiet? Is smth gonna happen years after the mv? What is she planning on doing?

Doughnut MV

obviously, this mv is the most important. again, please watch it before reading this part. (im gonna try and keep it short)

Very important is the guy in the mv, pay attention to who he meets (Tzuyu's phone call doesnt count, ill explain later)

Members that met the guy: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Chaeyoung.

All the members i have just mentioned are dead.

Killed by the guy, I dont really know why he did that.

"But Tzuyu called him!" Yes he called him, but you cant realistically kill someone over a telephone call.

Now to the most important people: Dahyun, Jihyo and Mina (Tzuyu is important too, but she doesnt play a big role in the doughnut mv)

Dahyun and jihyo:

These two have smth going on in the mv its weird, maybe its jealousy, maybe something else im not sure. But what im sure about is that Dahyun murdered Jihyo.

You can see that in the scene where Dahyun does the finger pistol thing and Jihyo falls down on the ground of a place that has similarity to the.. heaven?

The bridge part:

The way Dahyun sings her lines and first she looks proud, happy, but she suddenly looks like she has no emotions? no smiling or anything.

in my opinion, this shows her guilt, her realising "i killed jihyo".

this isnt really important to my theory, but i find it weird how michaeng are the only members that "clearly" have a scene together (ofc they sang together but still...) maybe chae is trying to warn her? maybe mina is trying to warn chae?

The scene changes to jihyo singing her high note.

What can you see on her white dress?

Something that looks like someone shot her (dahyun's fingerpistol while aiming at jihyo?)

the wound is shaped like an heart, maybe dahyun killed her out of love?

The camera goes through jihyo, and who do we see?

Dahyun eating the doughnut in the beginning at the crime scene where mina was.

"But what does that mean?"

Guilt.

In her bridge part, she realised she actually killed jihyo, her solution? Killing herself by eating a poisonous doughnut.

so thats how dahyun died.

"What about Mina?"

Mina is alone in the whole mv (except the table scene and the michaeng scene), she wanders around, sometimes she is running.

It looks like she is searching for something. But for what? Her dead friends?

Everyone died except Mina and Tzuyu in the mv, until...

Kura Kura MV

and again, please watch the mv before reading this part.

only a few scenes in this mv are important for my theory.

dahyun sitting under a tree and eating grapes.

just saying it like this sounds dumb, but if you know a little of religion then it is odly familiar.

(im not an expert on this so sry if its wrong)

adam and eve had the same thing just with apples,being not allowed to eat them bla bla bla but eve does it anyway.

meaning = she sinned.

what did dahyun do? killing jihyo, a sin (obviously)

survivors guilt:

definition: Survivors guilt is a particular kind of guilt that develops in people who have survived a life-threatening situation. Some survivors feel guilty that they survived when others died. Others believe they could have done more to save the lives of others.

"Who couldve had survivors guilt?"

Tzuyu.

Why else is she killing herself in the kura kura mv? Drowning herself after everyone died and only her and Mina survived.

Leaving Mina completly alone.

The whole kura kura mv shows mina alone, her sitting alone in a cafe.

when she leans against a wall, it cracks. Why?

Because she has no one behind her, no one to help her.

All the TWICE members die except Mina.

Ayy i finally did it!!!! this was fun ngl...

i hope yall enjoyed it, i kinda feel like an nerd bc im so invested in twice lore its crazy.....

i left out some things (for example the way jeongyeon was trapped in both doughnut and kura kura mv) since i didnt wanted to make it too long and in my opinion some of the things are not that important for my theory so...

#feeling silly #twice imagines #twice smut #twice x reader #twice #doughnuts #twice doughnut #twice doughnut theory #twice lore #doughnut mv

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asherisawkward · 7 months

Note

How do you think a "hero and villian are forced to work together" type of episode would have worked between Luz and Belos?

(Note, this is a rough outline of what season three could look like but without any focus on subplots.)

The intro would play the way it does in Thanks to Them, and we’d get some scenes of the Hexsquad adjusting to Earth while Luz is in school. She’d still be suffering from guilt, but it would be related to abandoning Camila without thinking about how that could affect her, especially with Manny’s death. Additionally, there would be a scene where Vee and Luz talk about what happened, and Vee apologizes for taking over Luz’s life and throwing out her things without permission. I think it’d be a good thing to give Vee some more time to develop and acknowledge her own mistake.

At school, we could have a few scenes of Luz trying to fit in and being shunned as evidence for why she was so eager to leave behind the Human Realm. We’d still have the scene of Flapjack finding the Codex and the Hexsquad deciding they’d go searching for the Titan’s Blood as a surprise for Luz. It would also be around this time that we see Gus and Hunter being Cosmic Frontier nerds. They’d get the scene of the group finding giraffes and getting terrified like in canon, and they meet Masha, who gives them a hand with the code.

It would then switch to follow Philip wandering about the Human Realm, possessing or feeding on animal corpses in an attempt to regain his strength. This would be an incredibly grim set of scenes focused on the difficulty Philip has with physical survival and regaining his strength after what the Collector did. A lot of his screentime would focus on the after effects Philip experiences after the Day of Unity. He’s falling apart and having a hard time becoming stable without a form to take over, and he would frequently be interrupted and distressed by various memories that Gus went through in King’s Tide coming back and tormenting him.

He’d start working up in forms until he got to a deer and get hit by a car just like in canon, and goop would get sprayed and spilled over the road, attracting Luz’ and Camila’s attention as they’re driving home with groceries. This is the point that Philip becomes a variable to the Hexsquad, and they start trying to plan around him.

Then, as the episode continued, each party would individually realize that the Collector is a threat to their respective goals (Luz’s goal being to save the Isles and Philip’s being to destroy them) along with the unwanted necessity of needing the other person in order to be able to stop the Collector from going on a rampage. Philip could help them make another portal if they gave him the right incentive with it. The group is rightfully conflicted on it, and Hunter is the most outspoken one on the Anti-Philip side of things for obvious reasons.

Philip would probably be more active about seeking Luz out because he’s more aware of her and the Hexsquad, while the latters are still putting pieces together about where he is and grappling with the fact that he may be an asset. Eventually, he’d move to digging up corpses and possessing them to get back his human form without actually hurting any humans before he forced himself into his human form briefly to get his clothes back and starts hauling himself to the Noceda household.

The scene of Philip knocking on the door of the house that the Hexsquad’s adopted would be very tense because, a) everyone is already there, so who’s knocking on the door, and, b) Philip is possessing a literal corpse to be here. Along with, you know, he’s Philip.

He wouldn’t ever say “I need your help to take down the Collector,” because he would not want to confess that he needs help and cannot take the Collector on alone. Instead, he makes it about how the Hexsquad needs him to make a stable portal and his magical expertise will be invaluable to them. Hell, he’ll even be generous and swear to not attack them while they’re teamed up. After a lot of debate and bargaining, they come to an agreement and start working together.

The rest of the episode is about how the various characters come to terms with having to be around the monster that tried to murder them all, and how Philip attempts to balance his recovery and creating the portal. On Halloween, they go out and have a bit of fun before they go to leave, and they still see the Tale of the Brothers Wittebane. The episode would end with the characters going through the portal, except for Vee, who stays behind how she does in canon. She’s been incredibly brave in facing and dealing with her abuser/captor, and I like that she’s not expected or forced to go along after that.

In For the Future, it would focus on King and the Collector for about half of it (with a little bit of Eda and Lilith) and the expanded Hexsquad for half of it.

On King’s side of things, he is dealing with a very sadistic and manipulative Collector (Shadow Collector, my beloved /j) They’re still playing Owl House with the Collector as Luz, but they’ve amped the stakes up. Instead of puppetifying everyone immediately, the Collector is forcing everyone to play their parts through intimidation, and if they mess up, then they start getting turned into a puppet slowly. It travels kind of like possession but slower, and the victims lose control and feeling of their limbs as the spell progresses. I’m thinking a horrifying situation that kind of goes, “my body is not my own.” Once someone is completely transformed, the spell is irreversible like petrification and basically becomes a corpse that is forced to move around and talk by the Collector. Eda, Hooty, and Lilith are set up by King as vital characters and are given a bit more leeway because King said they’re necessary for the game. Still, the Collector is becoming more violent as he starts to get bored with the game.

With the Hexsquad, Gus is quickly becoming one of the more important characters in the episode. The earring the at he took from Graye had a slice of Galderstone, which, contrary to popular belief, amplifies the complexity and scale of illusions that can be done. Using this knowledge, Gus makes and maintains an illusion as the Hexsquad walks that makes it seem as if there is nobody there without needing to hold breath the way they would with a glyph. He does a double-layered spell: one layer that has slight changes to the area around them and a couple animals to explain the noise they’re making, and another that just makes the group invisible to other eyes.

Willow and Amity will start talking properly about the way that things have changed over the past couple years and how just because Odalia and Alador made them stop being friends did not excuse the bullying that she did for years. Amity could properly acknowledge this and work to be better.

Camila is being a momma bear while also trying to adapt the way Luz did, and Luz finally gets to explain to her mother how she came to the Isles and how she fell in love with the place as a whole. It’s a really good bonding moment for the pair, and I think it could really help flesh out the way they interact as a family as a whole.

They’d stop at the Owl House and take a break, and Gus would have a moment where he talks to and connects with Philip. He explains his fascination and interest with humans and how he spent his childhood being enamored with them. He thought they were strange, amazing creatures that were good as a whole. Now, with what he’s seen in Philip’s memories, he feels disillusioned and hurt, like he’s lost a part of something integral to himself. How it that humans can be so horrible to people?

It would be really interesting to watch Philip and Gus to mourn their childhoods and the loss of that bright-eyed innocence about the world. After all, even if Philip believes humanity is good, he knows that there are bad people, and it can’t have been easy to learn that.

It would be a moment of genuine connection between the pair, and Philip could point out that there are good and bad people in every group, and that for every murderer or thief, there are doctors and authors and other amazing people who change the world. After listening to that, Gus pauses for a moment and says, “Have you ever considered that it’s the same way for witches, too?”

The pair stop talking after that.

Finally, finally, Luz and Philip get to talking about the way things are. Luz shares some of her concerns about being like him and how she’s a bad person for helping him meet the Collector. Philip roughly says, “You aren’t like me; you’re like Caleb.” Then we get a brief flashback scene as Philip explains a little bit of his childhood—being orphaned and dependent on Caleb with no one else in his life, the way he was all but destroyed when he saw his brother leave with Evelyn, how certain he was that Caleb wouldn’t abandon him, and everything else about his story.

At that point, Luz starts feeling awful about what happened with her mother and how scared she must have been when she found out that Luz wasn’t at summer camp and instead another realm. She wonders how she could be so thoughtless and what other ways she could have hurt the people she cares about. Philip points out that Camila is still alive and that there’s time to make things right between them. Hearing that, Luz runs off to go talk to her mother.

Camila is a bit surprised that her daughter comes to her suddenly and says that she needs to talk with her. They go into another room, and Luz pours her heart out about everything that happens and apologizes for leaving the way she did and not talking about things with her. Camila is gentle and comforts her, saying that she had been incredibly scared, but she’s proud of how much Luz has grown from her time in the Boiling Isles and how she could never ask her to leave someplace so dear to her forever.

Luz’s palisman wish in this is, “All I wanted is to feel like I belong somewhere,” because it still fits into her theme of being a weirdo and feeling misunderstood without putting pressure on her friends and family to bend over backwards to understand her even when they disagree. Stringbean is still her Palisman, but she’s just a snake as opposed to a snake-shifter.

Meanwhile, the Collector is becoming more and more suspicious of their “friend.” King goes away too often, and he’s always so secretive around Lilith and Eda! What if he’s planning something? What if he’s going to betray them the way Philip did? He begins preparing himself for King’s betrayal and spends some spies to follow the Titan. Eda, Lilith, Hooty, and King wander about in some of their limited time away from the Collector while they’re distracted or sleeping.

Eventually, the two groups meet up, and there’s a lot of joy for everyone as they reunite with each other, explain what’s been happening in the different realms, and introduce Eda, Lilith, and King to Camila. The Hexsquad is ecstatic to know that their loved ones are okay, as King confirms that he hasn’t seen any of them get puppetified (and King’s almost always there when that happens). However, once the shock has worn off, they realize that Philip is there, and they become incredibly suspicious about him. The situation is quickly explained, and the Eternal Oath between the two groups soothes them for now, but Lilith makes sure to tell Philip that she’s watching him for any suspicious business. The episode ends on the Collector, revealing that he’s seen the whole interaction.

In Watching and Dreaming, it would start shortly after Eda, Lilith, and Hooty were reunited with Luz and the rest of the Hexsquad. Philip is awkward and generally standing off to the side due to his mistreatment of both witches in the past and the growing realization that with the fight approaching, they will have to fight and either die or suffer, and Philip will have to turn against them in the end.

Eventually, the Collector would find the group and try to take King hostage for betraying him and working for his downfall. That would trigger an all out fight where everyone would scramble to get King free. Hunter would succeed by grabbing King and teleporting away after Amity restrains the Collector for a short period of time.

I’m not the best at describing fight scenes, but it would be a mess. Willow would be shooting vines at the Collector and making sure that everyone had the potential to get in range and get away if needed. Gus would be distracting, diverting, and attempting to visually overwhelm the Collector with his illusions. He might even try the bad memory thing again.

Amity would attack utilizing abomination matter and attempt to restrain the Collector’s movement. Hunter would have Flapjack and go about his usual teleportation-and-retreat based fighting style. King would use his Titan powers and Lilith would use potions (and Hooty) to destroy and hold back the puppet army. Eda and Camila would be doing their best to give the Collector hell while protecting their kids, and they’d be absolutely badass at it.

Philip would be fighting like the devil, and it’d be another opportunity to get a true sense and scale of his power. I’m thinking that because he’s the most durable and survived being liquified by the Collector, he jumps in to take most of the damage for the Hexsquad. Finally, Luz would be absolutely amazing with her glyph combinations now that Philip has had some time to teach her some of his combinations.

The fight would eventually end when Philip partially petrifies the Collector before Luz slams them with a glyph combination that nice again traps them in their prison. Then, the Hexsquad absolutely demolishes the tablet that’s used for the imprisoned and the real world to communicate.

There’s celebrations, laughing, crying, and hugging. People are hugging, and Amity and Luz kiss after the latter hugs her mother. Everyone’s celebrating, except for Philip. He’s standing off to the side and kind of staring at the scene before him. He’s seeing proof, actual proof, of the goodness of the witches and demons that he thought were evil. His entire life has been dedicated to a lie, and everything that he used to see as good is monstrous.

Philip is badly wounded, but he interrupts the festivities to attack the witches around him. Luz uses Stringbean to deflect the attack and begins fighting him back. With the wounds he has and the knowledge he’s been wrong his whole life, Philip is not fighting nearly as well as he does in his prime, making it easier for Luz to fight against him on more equal ground.

Luz asks him to stop, saying that there has to be some other way to resolve the situation. Now that she understands the situation and what caused it, maybe find another way. (Basically, she tries to pull a Steven Universe)

“How else could this have ended with how far I’ve gone?” Philip asks, continuing to fight. They continue to fight, the man getting more and more injured as they go on. Eventually, he’s too wounded to go on, and his body gives out beneath him. He passes on soon after. Luz is there when he dies, but she is not responsible for it. I want it to feel kind of somber, because he’s a pretty tragic character as a whole.

————

That’s my idea for Season Three if Philip and Luz had to team up. A lot of Thanks to Them comes from @chiconisroc’s “Was Not The Hero,” because it’s got the same sort of premise.

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starpirateee · 1 month

Note

for the drabbles, could i please request ruth and pete just kinda chatting, maybe a lil angsty? I feel like their dynamic would be cool

Ruth and Pete? You got it, anon!

Maybe a little angsty, you said, and believe me, I was completely on board to give you that... But then the characters took this in a different direction and..... Well, it's not really angsty at all-

It had been strange for Ruth, having grown up with Pete and then suddenly not seeing him every day. The two of them had known each other since the early days of elementary, and had gone all the way through to the end of high school being able to see each other almost every day.

All of that changed when Pete went off to college. Sure, they still called as often as they physically could, but it wasn't the same! Pete wasn't actually in Hatchetfield when Ruth had the appointment to get her braces removed, and she wasn't with him the night he was awake for an hour and a half after the worst nightmare of his life.

He had planned to keep the day he came back into town secret, but Steph had gotten a little too excited, and had told Ruth and Richie. The groupchat they'd maintained suddenly went wild. Pete was glad about the excitement, really. It had been too long since the four of them had been in the same place.

Ruth was well aware that they'd all arranged to go out and celebrate at the weekend, but she couldn't wait until then. So, she'd asked him if they could talk, just the two of them. Part of her had been expecting him to decline on account of him being too tired after his journey, but his only response had been asking her where she wanted to see him.

So, she was waiting for him by the lake, staring into the open depths of the water. She was aware of every car that passed on the gravel track behind her, but most of them just drove on, and the sound of their tyres against the loose stones faded out until she couldn't hear them anymore

One of them didn't.

that caught her attention, and she turned her attention from the lake fast enough to watch a little black Polo pull up on the track and stop just by the grass verge. A very familiar young man got out of the driver's side, shoving the keys into the pocket of his jeans as he wandered towards her. Her eyes went wide, and she stood, running to meet him halfway.

"Pete! oh my god!"

They met at some awkward point halfway up the verge, and she pulled him into a hug so eagerly that she almost knocked him off his feet. When he established that he wasn't going to go ass first into the bank, he laughed, and returned her hug just as readily. "Hey, Ruth!"

He had barely changed a bit. Still way too tall for his own good, still more lanky than a freshly planted tree... In fact, the only thing that had changed at all since they'd left high school was the beginnings of a moustache that now lined his top lip.

She would think about that later.

"Since when could you drive?!"

They finally broke apart, and started to walk together towards the lake. Pete spent a moment in silence trying to work out the date, and then shrugged. "Since... About two months ago?"

Ruth shot him a fake-offended glance. "And you didn't tell me?"

"I'm allowed to have one secret, and you already knew what day I was coming back!"

She conceded that argument with a shrug, and led him over to a bench. "Does anyone else know?"

"Steph."

"Not Richie?"

"Not Richie. Richie would've told you."

Ruth pouted. "That moustache makes you look like your brother."

"Oh god." Pete pulled a face. He'd spoken to Ted recently too, he knew that.

The two of them had agreed that they were going to keep a discernable difference between them, since they both ended up the double of their father. While that had caused an argument about who got to keep the hair length (Pete made the rightful claim that he'd grown it first, so Ted agreed to cut his on occasion), the one thing that they did agree on was that Ted was going to be the one to keep the facial hair. He'd made it his brand, and Pete really didn't want to be mistaken for him... "I don't think you brought me here to compare me to Ted. What's up?"

He'd learned to recognise that when Ruth grilled him on his personal life, she was trying to avoid mentioning something about her own. Her anxiety took over when she least needed it to, and she ended up avoiding the subject altogether. He remembered something that richie had said to him in the winter, and his heart ached a little to bring it back into his mind. His brow furrowed. "Uh... Richie said you stopped doing tech? How come?"

Ruth frowned, but she couldn't keep herself from laughing for long. "I did, yeah..."

"What? What's funny?"

"I gave up tech, but- uh- I might've gotten an acting gig?" She looked up at him expectantly, and watched for the moment when the words finally sunk in.

"Wait, are you serious?"

She nodded, eager. That's why she'd invited him lakeside in the first place. All of this was worth it for seeing him again, finding out he could drive now (the number of things she could do with this information...) and getting the chance to tell him that she was finally going ahead with her dream."Uh huh! It took him a month to ger me outta the booth... But we shot this- uh- this stupid little no budget movie that he filmed... And we got Reese and PJ involved... It was fun!"

"So... What? After this home movie, you went in for an audition?"

"Well, I found this-" Ruth cut herself off quickly, with the realisation that Pete would likely know what she was talking about if she were just to reference it. "I joined the players!"

It did take him a moment, but when it clicked, he grinned, broad and genuine. "Ruth! That's amazing!"

Not even six months ago, she wouldn't have dreamed about talking about the Hatchetfield Players in regards to herself! This was a huge step for her, and he couldn't have been prouder.

She could see as much in the way his face lit up. That had been the point of most of their conversations since Ruth got cast in that one line role in their low stakes elementary school play when they were eight. She had wanted to be on the stage ever since, but something had always gotten in the way.

His arm fell around her shoulders, and he pulled her in a little closer. She laughed in delight, looking up to meet his eyes behind the frames of his glasses. "Okay, okay, that was my news... Tell me something from your end!"

"Huh? I didn't come with anything!"

"C'monnnnn, I'm not gonna move till you drop some hot college gossip!"

He chuckled, unable to believe he'd just been pulled into the news without warning. "Uh.... Okay, I've got something. You know my roommate, right? I've talked about him, haven't I?"

"Sure. Jordan..?"

"Yeah, Jordan. He convinced me to take up the bass again. I guess there's that?" He offered, to which Ruth gasped. He held up a hand in a so-so gesture, hoping she wouldn't get too excited. "I mean, I'm no Jack White."

"... Who?"

"Okay then... Uh, John Deacon?"

That one seemed to resonate a little more. Ruth hummed with recognition, and Pete sighed softly, glad he didn't have to pull a list of bassists from his mind.

"No, but you were so good at guitar when you used to do that! What got you back in?"

"Oh, uh, I got in with a couple of the music lot when we went out once. Most the motivation came from them, actually. I dunno, it's good for getting shit out... If you and Richie ever make another home movie, I could score?" He suggested.

"Richie went into film, remember? God, you could score his Hollywood debut!" Ruth laughed in return.

"Only with you as his leading lady..."

"Alright, deal!"

#starkid #hatchetfield #peter spankoffski #ruth fleming #npmd #void offering #star mail #nova's tags →#yeah man you're right #interesting dynamics all round here :)#i love the nerds‚ really i do #throwing in some headcanons here:#pete plays bass and used to play guitar #richie did animation in his first year of college then moved to film #and... steph got added to their longstanding group chat

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dazed--xx · 1 year

Text

Breathless 2 (Alt. Ending)

Member: Hyunjin x reader

Word count: 14.1K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Jinhwan-Monsta X.

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST, happy ending, mentions of smut no smut actually featured, fake texts, mentions of drinking/getting black out drunk, mentions of cheating, mentions of marijuana use, crying, arguments, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: So this the alternative ending. So many people asked for a happy ending and my original plan was not to have one but i did make this alt ending for all my fluffy happy ending lovers most of the two stories are the same until the final confrontation. Im still willing to write drabbles for these characters and everything so thank you for enjoying.

Part 1 Original Ending

You were grateful for Felix having come into your life. Ever since your break up with Hyunjin, two months ago, He’s been your rock through it. From taking you out anytime you felt you needed to get away, to cuddling with you and watching a movie, and some days like, today, when Hyunjin does reach out to try to talk Felix is the one to usually urge you to at least get closure. You immediately found yourself wandering aimlessly until Felix picked you up and brought you to the beach. But you being sad didn’t mean you didn’t get out of the ‘closure’ lecture.

“You know....”

Felix trails “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you deserve an explanation......and closure” you sigh in response, adjusting yourself against the uncomfortable pebbles beneath you. Your eyes trail over the setting sun dancing across the water, waves crashing against the rocks on the shoreline. “I can get an explanation from Ye-na before I get the slightest truth from Hyunjin” Felix flinches at the way you say Hyunjin’s name. He stands in his place almost dumbfounded. “Listen helmet, like honestly, I would 100% agree that what he did was wrong but he looked genuinely heartbroken when you ended things. You should at least hear him out if not for him then for yourself. Wouldn’t you want to know why he cheated?” you shake your head in response. “Why would I ever want to know why?” You growl. “So, you don’t feel like it's your fault, which is what I know you feel.” you force your eyes away from the water “and how could you possibly know that?” you counter. He shrugs in response running his hand through his hair before placing extending out to you “the face you made just told me, but let's get out of here please you know what kind of people hang out around these parts at night” you chuckle in response as you grab his hand “I literally met you right over there” you pointed toward the pier “So they're your kind of people Yongbokie~” you tease.

His face is flat “Dude they're STILL looking for me”

It was your turn to shrug “And? Why'd you piss them off” his mouth hangs open “I didn’t purposely piss them off I just.......slept with the leader's sister......” “And?” you urge him to continue “And he walked in okay!” he responds. You couldn’t contain your laughter, “Wait! He saw little yongbokie!” you struggled to regain composure as you approach Felix’s bike. “1! How was I supposed to know he would walk in she said she was going to be home alone for hours she miscalculated. And 2! Don’t name my dick especially a title that implies its little. When it very much isn’t” you roll your eyes at him. “Suuuuurrrrrreeeee” his face forms a scowl. “What? You want to see? Don’t think you’d be able to handle it” he urges, his hand wrapping around your hair forcing your head back pressing your back against his chest. You squeak in responds your face turning toward him “Don't threaten me with a good time” you tease facing him brushing your noses together before running your hand down his torso making your way toward his waistline before his hand grips at your wrist “FINE! Fine! You won this time okay” he jumps. You chuckle in response “Lixie, you act like I don’t win every time you try to play this game with me”

“You only win because I let you. I have no problems with being a rebound honestly and if I wanted to win, Helmet, you’d have been in my bed the night after you broke up with Hyunjin” He states. “Hmm I'll keep that in mind then” you shrug as he starts his motorcycle. “You know you're quite annoying, even Karina gets somewhat flustered when I talk to her” he snaps. You giggle “Lix, you’re really attractive and honestly at first you definitely made me really blushy but I was with Hyunjin so it was really easy to kind of shrug it off you know?” you state softly. The wind kissing your cheeks. “But, if I ever felt like you know, ready to move on, you’d probably be the first person I'd sleep with” you finish matter of factly. He nods in response “Shit just let me know, I can definitely make you forget all about Hyunjin” He winks biting his bottom lip before hopping onto his bike.

“But it's cold so you coming or not?”

______________________________________________________________

You sighed as you walked toward your dorm’s entrance, you weren't excited for Lia’s questioning on why you had randomly left the dorm, completely disappearing while she showered. You dragged your feet as if they were imbedded in cinderblocks, formulating a plan to make a beeline for your bedroom and locking the door. You regret taking the stairs as you enter the door to your floor, your legs aching. Your eyes not leaving the ground as you continue your path to your bed. Your hands fidgeting with your keys, you let out a loud sigh. Finally lifting your eyes as you come close to your door, your heart sinking as you see your ex sitting in front of it. You consider running back toward the stairs before he could notice you, yet luck was not on your side as his eyes find you and he jumps to his feet.

You freeze in shock, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since you broke up and he didn’t look too good---well he still looked absolutely gorgeous, but you could see the lack of sleep in his eyes. Ghost trails of tears stained on his face, his hair was disheveled and he was still wearing the same clothes from the night you had broken up. Your throat tightens, you felt your fingers tingling; you’re face heated up rapidly. You hated that, even with the pain he’s caused you, he could still make your heart race. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him in pain. Still, there’s a light in his eyes when he looks at you.

“Bab--Y/N....” his voice is coarse “C-can we talk.... please?”

His eyes are pleading as he slowly makes his way toward you. You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking toward the ground once again shaking your head. “Y-you need to go...” you mumble. Your eyes notice his shoes now in view, you can feel the heat radiating off him due to his closeness. “Please....I-I just want to talk--I don’t know what else to do. You don’t answer my calls or-or texts. I don’t understand what happened--I feel like I can't breathe” he begs, you feel his hands on your arms igniting a fire in your stomach. You jump at the contact your head whipping to look at him as you force his hands off you. “No.” you state coldly. “You need to leave now, Hyunjin” you shove your way past him to your door. Forcing your key in the lock and turning before you turn back to your ex. “You lost your chance to talk to me the moment you fucked anyone else while we were together. Leave before I call security” “I didn’t--I sw-” his pleads are cut off by you slamming the door behind you.

Hyunjin stood in shock, tears welling in his eyes. He knew it was going to be hard to get you to forgive him but how could he even begin to try to fix things if you wouldn’t even look at him. His heart clenched in his chest. This isn’t happening...... he thinks to himself. The same words that’s been playing in his head since that fateful night. He didn’t know what else to do, he was so lost. He’s never felt pain like this before and he still couldn’t understand why. He knows what you believe but he still doesn’t even understand what Ye-na told you. And when he confronted Ye-na she just laughed at the ‘irony’ as she had stated boldly. He’d spent countless hours these past two months staring at nothing but his phone screen waiting for something---anything in return from you. Losing you was the last thing he could have ever wanted. He knew he should leave; he knew you wanted him to go, but he couldn’t he needed to try. He needed you to talk to him. With a shaky breath he lifted his phone and immediately pressed the call button of your contact. Pressing his back against your door and sliding down.

“Fuck......” he cried as he ran his hand through his hair. Of course, you’d reject his call. He wanted to scream, to beg for you to talk to him; his mind flashed to the way you flinched at his touch. He wanted to go back, back to when he first got his chance with you. He'd change everything, he’d appreciate everything he had. He needed to hold you again, if he could go back, he would have stayed every time you’d ask. He’d show you he loves you, because he did—he does. He wishes he’d realized it sooner, anything to just have you back. He hates that he confessed his love when he did. He knows what you probably think, but he needed you to know. He thought it would reassure you that he didn’t want anyone else. His phone buzzed in his hand. His heart lit up at your contact.

He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something. You responded; he didn’t care it was to tell him to leave. He immediately went to respond, only for his message to be interrupted by a call from Jisung. He sighed to himself as he pressed the answer button. “Hell---Dude, you gotta go home” Jisung interrupted. “What are you talking about?” Hyunjin questioned with faux confusion “I am---no! You're not! you wanna know how I know you’re not?! Because I’m at your place! Dude! Come home, okay? If she wants to talk to then she will but you can't camp out in front of her dorm its honestly fucking creepy!” Jisung exclaims. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, biting his lip. “Fine, just-just stay their asshole”

“Dope, when you get back, you’re taking a fucking shower and cleaning your room bro this is gross and honestly no girl would even look at you let alone talk to you judging by your place.” Jisung whines.

“So fucking leave then!” He snaps.

“See I would, but I’m the hot one now and I just need a second to soak it in so get home while you still look like shit” Jisung exclaims excitedly. And for just a moment, Hyunjin considers murdering his best friend. Scoffing, he quickly ends the call before lifting himself off the ground. He gives one last look at your door before he makes his way back to his dorm, leaving his heart in his place.

______________________________________________________________

Your dance class has been.... awkward to say the least. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, you can feel Ye-na's glare and Hyunjin’s love sick longing stare on you. Jisung still follows Karina around like a lost puppy so you have to sometimes deal with the occasional run in with him. Jisung, as Hyunjin’s best friend, is one of the few that truly knew what was going on in your past relationship. Sometimes you thought he knew even more than you about your own relationship with Hyunjin. He remained polite sometimes looking at you with sad eyes when he notices Hyunjin’s pleading gaze. You questioned as to why he sat here with you when his own best friend sat across the room, not paying attention to his dance partner and focusing on you and only you.

You honestly felt exceptionally confused. Why was Hyunjin acting like this? A question that’s lingered in your mind for days. He had ignored you for the majority of your relationship, only showing interest a select number of times that didn’t involve sex. You were together for a little over a year and if you were to say you didn’t love him it would be a lie. You loved him, you still love him but he obviously didn’t feel the same if he had seeked out another woman. You hated yourself for not hating Ye-na, you don’t know if she knows you overheard her conversation with her friend but honestly, you owed her a huge thank you. For months you couldn’t figure out how Hyunjin had felt about you, and in a few words, you learned that he did not feel the same way. You didn’t blame her; she wasn’t the one that promised you exclusivity so how could you hold a grudge against someone that got played by the same person. He probably made false promises to her as well, so, why the heartbroken pouty expression that wouldn’t leave his features. You feel like you should at least talk to him, but every time you went to respond to him; Ye-na's words rang through your head. Why would he say you guys were nothing serious and then declare his love for you?

You had practically the exact same conversation with everyone beside Karina, who had suggested you talk to him, after a certain violent act pertaining to a very vital reproductive organ was performed; which you had considered but immediately shot down. You didn’t want to talk to Jisung about it so you had gone to Changbin, who also told you to talk to Hyunjin and nothing more or less. You felt like pulling your hair out and you knew you’d regret it but you decided to talk to Jisung, he’d have the most knowledge about everything and you were honestly still to hurt to face Hyunjin so this was your best bet. You let out a shaky breath before you stood up and looked at Jisung. “Hey can you come with me to something from the vending machine in the music department?” It was no secret that the vending machine in the music department contained the best snacks and drinks, the foreign stuff. But you hoped that he would understand that there was more to you asking other than you craving things.

The confused look on your face told you he didn’t catch it, “Why?” He asked, Karina slapped the back of his head “Ouch! Why’d you do that?” He whined rubbing his injury “Because you’re stupid. Bring her genius! she can't get into the department without a music major” She snapped as she rolled her eyes. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment “Sorry” he apologized as he stood from his place. You felt eyes burning on you and Jisung as you made your way out of the studio. You look at Jisung quizzically as you notice him looking across the room before almost crashing into the door if you didn’t pull him out the door behind you. “Jesus, Han I think you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached” you tease, raising your eyebrow to him. He chuckles in embarrassment as he fixes his shirt “Sorry, I was—Hyu--I got distracted” He looks away as he stammers.

“That’s actually why I wanted to go to the music department. You’re Hyunjin’s best friend you probably know way more than me about---Y/N I told you I don’t know if what Ye-na said is true” He cuts you off. You shake your head rapidly “No that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about”

“Oh” He states in confusion “well then.... what about Hyunjin did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, as you probably know I still haven’t talked to him about things, BUT the night we broke up. He said something that has me really confused” You explain. “Well....what did he say? I can’t really help you unless I know, you know?” He states softly, you pause for a moment “He told me he loves me.” Jisung’s eyes widen “He finally confessed?! And He didn’t even tell me?! I’m supposed to be his best friend, his ride or die, and he doesn’t even tell me that” he exclaims in betrayal. You snap in his face while he continues his rant “Hanji, Focus. So, you do at least know how he feels then” Jisung shakes his head at you “Oh no no no little lady, Karina warned me this talk was coming. It's not my place to tell you how Hyunjin feels about you. You need to talk to him if you want answers” You scoff “Karina told you to say that?”

“No! I’m saying it!” Jisung exclaims “Honestly Y/N, I’m his best friend he’s not doing okay in all of this and He wants to tell you how he feels and what you mean to him. And as his best friend and knowing how he feels I know he needs to be the one to tell you. You think you’re the only one hurt right now but you’re not. My best friend is going through his first ever break up, and he’s heartbroken. And I’m not making excuses for him, you had a good reason to break up with him he promised you loyalty and he didn’t keep that promise I guess but let’s be real here you know the kind of guys we are. Were you really surprised? You probably thought this would have happened anyway because let's be honest here me and Hyunjin aren’t built for relationships. I don’t know if he’s ever cheated on you like for real but I do know that I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if it turns out he did if I were you.” He states honestly, as his hand grasps your shoulder stopping you. “So, what? I should forgive him if he did?” You question. Jisung shakes his head “No, you shouldn’t honestly just cause I’m that kind of guy doesn’t mean I'd say you should forgive him. If he cheated dump his ass and move on you want loyalty, you’re that kind of girl.”

“So, I should......?” you prod.

“Talk to Hyunjin Y/N” Jisung scoffs

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin didn’t know why he had done it, honestly, he knew why he’d done it but he doesn’t know exactly what could come of him messaging Felix; But he knew one thing for sure, he was running out of options. He was losing his mind thinking of ways to get you to talk to him, He knew Felix would at least have some insight into how you were feeling, judging by your social media, you’ve been with Felix every day since the breakup. Your friendship with Felix had always brought an uncomfortable ache in Hyunjin’s chest. He’d realized you deserved better than himself long before you had met Felix, but it wasn’t until after that Hyunjin realized you deserved someone like Felix. He could see that glint in your eye every time you talked to him and it always made Hyunjin feel like throwing up. That is until you had broken up with him and Felix had messaged him almost immediately that he had brought you home, that you were safe and needed time. Hyunjin had realized, in the short time he’s spent talking to him, that Felix truly cared for you so much so that he’d continuously update Hyunjin on your condition. Hyunjin hated himself for ruining things so much that he couldn’t be with you anymore, but at least he had a way to make sure you were okay, at least he had Felix.

So, Hyunjin used his last hail Mary and messaged him to see if he would want to get something to eat and talk, only to be eagerly surprised when Felix had agreed. So here Hyunjin sat, in a pizza restaurant that Felix had picked out, his eyes focused on the cream-colored table. His hands holding onto each other while his arms rested on his shaky legs. What would Felix say? Hyunjin wondered. He wanted to ask your dance partner how you were, if you were doing okay, what you were thinking about when it came to your relationship, did you feel like a part of you was missing too. He couldn’t even touch the pizza he had ordered. He felt nauseous waiting for Felix. His breath was shaky when he heard the chair in front of him scoot out. His eyes slowly lift to be greeted by the warmest smile. Hyunjin could see why you went to Felix every day for comfort, from just his friendly smile alone Hyunjin felt himself calming down. “S-so, uh, y-you're probably wondering why I asked you to come here” Hyunjin stammered. “Well, technically I picked this place but sure I guess, I figured you probably wanted to talk about Y/N you know?” Felix chuckled as he reached for Hyunjin’s soda, “You don’t mind, do you?” Felix questioned, Hyunjin stared at him in shock and shook his head no.

“No-well—yes, I want to talk about her but it's not just for that reason!” Hyunjin explained nervously “Look, I know how she feels right now and I know I’m the reason for that, but I just want---no I need to explain. I don’t know if she’d forgive me, but I fucking hate that I hurt her and I just-I need her back. She was the best thing that’s happened to me and I fucked it all up and I don’t know how to fix it and I hate myself for not knowing what to do right now. In the past I would have just said fuck it and moved on and just forgot about her. ----sigh----but I can’t. I can’t just move on; I can’t just act like she never existed. I love her and I need her to know that. I won't fuck this up again if she gave me a chance but she won't talk to me and I feel so fucking lost without her” Hyunjin felt tears well up in his eyes the longer he continued, soon his eyes never left Felix’s face “and you’ve been so nice to me, you don’t know me and you know how badly I've hurt her, and she’s your friend so you should hate me but you came here and-and you let me know that she’s safe. And I know she’s safe when she’s with you. You didn’t have to do any of this but you did and I owe you a lot honestly and I don’t know how to repay you” Felix’s features twist into a cognitive look.

“Well, the only thing I want, and I think Y/N wants, is the truth of if you did cheat on her with Ye-na” Felix responds stoically

“she’s the only person I'll answer that question to” Hyunjin groans rubbing his temples “If she’d ever talk to me”

“You ever try just explaining”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, genius, you ever try just texting her your explanation and just hope she reads it?” Felix suggests. Hyunjin sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face “You’re a fucking idiot” Felix groans as Hyunjin shakes his head. Why had he never thought of that? “Instead of wasting your time begging her to talk to you and let you explain. You should just explain. If she responds, she responds, if she doesn’t then, well, at least you explained yourself.”

______________________________________________________________

You don’t know what you were thinking when you decided clubbing with Karina, especially for the first time, was a terrible idea. The dress Karina put you in was WAY too form fitting and very short. The music was exceptionally loud, vibrating the room with its pulsing beat and the guys were......eh, from trashy pick-up lines, to just grinding against you while you danced. At this moment, you longed for the days where Jisung would flirt with you, at least there was.... well, finesse, if you had to choose a word for it. If you had to give anything to your ex and his friends they definitely knew how to flirt and get a girl to go home with them, and not due to just their devilishly handsome faces, they had an aura around them that spewed confidence and experience. But instead, here you stood, with a handsome guy yet you felt bored. You find yourself comparing him to Hyunjin a lot. He talks about himself a lot, Hyunjin didn’t do that at least he’d seem interested in you when you guys were together; this guy didn’t. You think his name was Ji-Han or Jin-Hwan or something. When he brushes a stray hair out of your face you notice the couple ring on his finger, you pull your head away from his touch when you feel an arm snake around your waist pulling you back toward their figure. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my girlfriend” a familiar deep voice stated from behind you. The guy stood in shock, before Felix pulled you farther down the bar. You stare at him eyes widen; you bite your lip in embarrassment when you see the scowl on his face.

You think Felix, may be your guardian angel, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck; thanking him profusely. You felt him shake his head before wrapping his arms around your waist lifting you slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute” He groans before he lets you go and ruffles your hair. “Why you so mad? Wait! Why are you here? Not that I don’t completely adore you but weren’t you with someone?” you question, his cheeks heat up with a pinkish glow before he shrugs. You gasp “Did you get rejected?”

“No!” He snaps, his scowl returning.

“Yongbokie~ say it isn’t so... you got rejected?” You tease.

His arms quickly wrap around your waist and presses your back against the bar. He brushes his lips against your cheek, you feel your face heat up when he places a soft peck on your cheek. “Do you think I’m the type to get rejected?” He nudges. His face makes its way toward your neck, his lips brushing over it gently. You feel yourself growing wetter by the minute. “Uh-I-I-Aww, Helmet cat got your tongue?” Felix cuts you off as he pulls back. Your eyes form a glare before you shove him back “You’re annoying” you groan. He smiles widely, his eyes forming crescents as he scrunches his nose. “You finally reacted though” He states proudly. Rolling your eyes “Yeah sure” you argue. “You did though...” He whines.

“Sure, Lix whatever you say” You deny behind red flushed cheeks.

“Deny it all you want but you want me, Helmet. I know I’m probably your ideal type but you have to control yourself Y/Nie. I’m supposed to be your best friend” He teases. You shake your head at his antics. “You can't kiss me, okay?” he continues. You fake a gag, before shoving him back, and allow your eyes to drift around the room. Though it was just more of Felix’s harmless playful flirting, it still felt wrong to have him so close to you. You knew it was stupid but your heart still longed for Hyunjin. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Felix touching you, you just wished it was someone else. You hate that you longed for his touch, his lips, his everything. You knew what you had heard from Ye-na but you didn’t know if it was even true. The night you had broken up he said it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t lie to try to get you to stay. You wish you weren’t so.... fragile. The Ye-na situation had derailed you off track and you’re having a damn hard time getting back on it again. Felix was a great guy, he seemed like the type to be loyal if he was to be in a relationship. Sure, he was flirty while single but you also know that before returning to Seoul; he was in a long-term relationship that didn’t end well. So, who could blame him for enjoying the single life. “Can we find Karina?” You plead.

He nods taking a hold of your hand before leading you through the crowd. “I saw her by the booths before I got you” Felix states. You grasp his hand tightly as you make your way through the horde of sweaty bodies, making sure to avoid any spilling drinks. You couldn’t understand how this could be fun to anyone. You could barely hear anything, there was a cluster fuck of people, and the guys are creeps. You would appreciate the experience but this will not be repeated. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you collide with Felix’s back. You notice him bent over, laughter spilling from his mouth as he slaps his knee. “Oh, this is too funny!” He cackles as he pulls out his phone and takes repeated pictures. Your eyes follow his line of vision only to be met with Karina placed on someone’s lap, their lips interlocked, her hand pulling his hair. You gasp in shock as they pull away. Your hand smacks over your mouth, “Jisung!” you exclaim as you dash toward the pair “Oh my god! Felix is going to have so much fun with this I’m telling you”

“Fun!? Dude, its already in the group chat. Yeji and Lia are dying” Felix exclaims between fits of laughter. Karina rolls her eyes “What? The guys are absolutely lame here and at least with Captain Thinks with his dick over here the corny flirting comes with a good reputation in bed.” She shrugs as she lifts herself off Jisung’s lap before leaning over and pressing her lips against Jisung’s once more “I’m going to the bathroom” she waves as she makes her way through the crowd. You take a seat next to Jisung. “So... when did, uh, this happen?” you question. “Honestly, I think like 15 minutes ago. She texted me said she was bored. I asked where she was. She told me. I came and uh next thing you know—Ehm- yeah" Jisung stammered behind blushed cheeks. “Oh, so you came.... alone?” Jisung nods. “that’s brave of you, it's pretty boring now I don’t know how you’d have a good time here” you whine. Jisung chuckles “Cause you’re supposed to be buzzed, doll”

“I’ve had like 2 drinks” you argue.

“What? Some fruity mixed drink that’s probably watered down?”

“So, then what should I drink?”

A mischievous smile forms on Jisung’s lips “Shots!”

______________________________________________________________

Note to self: Never go clubbing with Jisung again.

You were drunk.

So, fucking drunk.

He was right though; you were definitely having fun in the beginning. He lived up to his party reputation and you had the most fun you’ve had in a while. After the first shot, you felt warm as the liquid burned your throat. The second you took in quick succession as per Jisung’s advice. Your fingers felt tingly and the burning sensation wasn’t so bad. The third shot came after about 10 minutes, when the room stopped rocking. You had to give it up to Jisung, he definitely tried to make you pace yourself. But shots four, five, and six came and went while Karina decided she wanted to continue more of what they had started previously and Felix had found a friend for the night.

You regret not taking his advice as the room began spinning. You stagger your way out the door after sending a quick text to Karina and Felix explaining you were going home and getting an uber. If was cold outside you didn’t know, your body felt so hot. Your hair was way too long as it tickled your lower back. But in your drunken state of mind, you stare at your home screen you have yet to change and you find yourself dialing Hyunjin’s number. “Hell---Hello?!” His voice answers timidly. “Hyunnie~” you slur. “Babe, are you okay?” He inquires. You shake your head “No...Jisung helped me get drunk”

“He fucking what?!” Hyunjin growls. “Well, he told me to-to go slow but I didn’t it was so much fun Hyunnie. But I miss you so it wasn’t fun” You whine. “I miss you too baby” he confesses “So fucking much” his voice cracks. “I have to go home” you slur, pressing your back against the wall. “Where are you? How are you getting home?” There was concerned laced in his tone. “I don’t know” you shrug to yourself. “You don’t know where you are? Or you don’t know how you’re getting home?” He questions worriedly. “No, I’m at octagon club. I told Karina and Felix I'd get an uber but—sigh--I want to walk but the world is spinning.”

“You’re not walking home” He declares. “I’ll be there in 5”

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin was going to kill Han Jisung. He was as good as dead, not only had you gotten completely fucking blasted by what Hyunjin could tell. But his dear best friend has yet to be heard from. Hyunjin raged the whole way to the club, running almost every stop sign he came across. Hyunjin wanted to strangle Jisung a fuck ton more when he saw you sat on the ground, your head in your hands as you continued to struggle remain upright. Hyunjin barely came to a stop before he was putting the car in park and rushing toward you with a call of your name. His heart stopped in his chest as your head whipped up and you greeted him with the most beautiful smile.

“Hyunnie~!” you called as you reached out to him struggling to lift yourself off the ground. He quickly rushed to your side; taking a hold of your hand before wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you into his frame. He was taken aback when he felt your arms snake around his neck, you press your chest against his. He can’t help himself but to tighten his grip on you. He felt everything stop. Fuck everything about you was absolutely perfect. He buries his face in your neck, he sighs. “Wow! Your hairs black!” you exclaim surprise in your tone.He can only nod in response. He knows it's wrong, you were drunk and you 100% did not want to see him let alone have him touch you but, you were so fucking adorable and he missed this so fucking much that he needed to hold onto it for as long as he could. Fuck Jisung, fuck this club, and Hyunjin won't begin to think about all the guys that probably thought they had a chance with you in this dress cause holy fuck! For this moment, things were back to the way they were before. He hated that he had to end it, but you needed to get home and out of the cold. You were probably so drunk you didn’t notice how freezing it was.

His fingers brushed your hair away from your face, placing his hands over your cheeks. “It's so cold out baby let me take you home, hmm?” He urged. You nod in response. Your fingers played with his as he walked you to his car. You whined as he removed his hand from yours “I have to open the door, princess” he whispers as he softly strokes your cheek before helping you into the passenger seat and buckling you up; while turning to close the door, he feels your hand wrap around his forearm. “Where are you going?” you query, worry filling your eyes. A sad smile forms on his lips, he caresses your cheek eyes finding yours. “I have to drive, silly girl” he explains softly. Your eyes stay connected for what feels like forever. He wants to remember your face right now forever. Your eyes telling of your love for him, the light pink blush gracing your cheeks. You were absolutely beautiful.

Hyunjin contemplates just closing the door and just going into the driver's seat as he feels the familiar feeling of your soft, velvet lips. He holds back a moan at the unexpected kiss, but responds almost instantly. Hyunjin missed this too, the feeling of your lips on his. Your mouths move in sync. Your tongue pokes out from your lips making its way into Hyunjin’s mouth and moan as your tongues connect. A sound that sends a shock straight down and suddenly his pants felt exceptionally tight. He was lost in the feeling, so much so that he almost forgot, you wouldn’t want this if you were sober; but as your fingers gripped his hair and he heard the familiar whines he knew this is where the line needed to be drawn. The last thing Hyunjin wanted to do was take advantage of your drunken state. And as much as he truly did miss how amazing the sex was, he knew that you’d never talk to him again if he continued; so, reluctantly, He pulls away and makes his way over to drivers' side and gets in.

The ride to your dorm was awkward to say the least. He had so much he wanted to say, apologies sit on the tip of his tongue. At this moment, Felix’s words rang through his head. Hyunjin felt as if he should just explain. You were sitting right there; sure, you were drunk and your reaction probably wouldn’t be the best right now but at least he’d get the chance to explain. He could feel your eyes burning into him and he wasn’t sure if you could tell but Hyunjin’s heart was racing. He practically jumped when he felt your hand snake onto his thigh making its way toward his member. Reacting quickly his hand wraps around your wrist “Whoa! What are you doing?” He exclaims. Did Hyunjin want you to practically beg for him again? Of course. But you were drunk and he was probably the last person you’d want to sleep with when sober. He loved you too much to let you do something you’d probably regret. “I miss you...” You pout. His resolve almost melts when he sees the puppy dog look in your eyes.

“I miss you too baby but you don’t want to do this right now....” He whispers. He thanks God as he pulls into your dorm parking lot. “You’re home” he states softly as he takes your hand into his. You stare at your dorm before your eyes drift back to him. He notices the tears in your eyes, your hands are shaky. “What’s wrong?” He inquires. “I don’t want to go...I’m so fucking hurt-you hurt me so bad.” You cried “But I don’t want to go” Your eyes connected; He felt his heart break all over again “You don’t understand how fucking sorry I am. I love you I swear I love you so fucking much, I never meant to hurt you baby. I’m so fucking sorry” His voice cracks as he holds your hand tightly against his chest. His eyes never leave yours. “But we can’t have this conversation right now, you’re drunk you need sleep. I promise tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.” He promises. Your eyes flash back to your dorm, before you nod.

“Tomorrow...”

______________________________________________________________

You regret getting so drunk last night.

You had a massive migraine and you felt so fucking nauseous. But at least you could still remember most of your night, besides the walk to your dorm. Were you embarrassed? No not really.

Did you regret it?......you weren’t sure. You had definitely appreciated Hyunjin not accepting your advances. BUT were you feeling up to talking to him today? No, and not cause you were still angry at this point you were more confused; but because you were 100% hungover. So, you instead of immediately texting Hyunjin to set up a time to talk, you took some Tylenol and rushed to the campus café. You quickly regretted running as you collide with the petite figure of someone coming out of the door. “I’m so sorry I should have been paying attention” You apologize reaching toward the girl, freezing in shock as you come face to face with Ye-na She went to snap a response before she mouths an ‘oh’ and taking your hand. With a shaky breath your grasp on her tightens “C-can we talk?” you ask shyly. She nods with a hesitance following you back into the café.

The vibe was awkward and off as you both sipped your coffee silently, eyes looking everywhere around the room but at each other. “So, what’d you want to talk about?” “So did you know I was in the room that night?” You both question at the same time. You giggle at the timing. “That was impeccable timing” Ye-na chuckles before taking a sip of her coffee before continuing “But to answer your question, honestly, no. I didn’t.” she sighs. You nod in response before taking another sip of your coffee “Woul-would you have still said what you said if you did?”

She ponders on your question for a moment before she lets out a heavy sigh “If you want the truth?” you nod in response “well then, no I wouldn’t have.” She answers matter of factly. You look at her confused “Why not?”

“Well, the night you over heard me a few minutes before Hyunjin had kinda lost his shit on me. Again. Told me to leave him alone and to stop calling and texting him because what happened was a mistake and he loved you so he needed me to stop” She confesses. “But you said---oh I know what you heard, but he told me that months ago. Like right around the summer, I’m not gonna lie and say what I did was right too Y/N. And even though, me and Hyunjin had what we had. I never wanted to be the one to tell you that. I’m pretty surprised you haven’t lost your shit on me yet honestly”

You shrug. “You weren’t my boyfriend.”

“So?” She counters before crossing her arms over her chest “Not to be a bitch or anything but I 100% knew about you; and just didn’t care honestly. See, here’s your problem Y/N cause obviously no one will give it to you straight. I’m not the only girl Hyunjin’s been with while he was with you. His reputation follows him and every single one of us knew what it was. Just like you probably did before you two made things official. I didn’t care he had a girlfriend, I didn’t care about your feelings, and I didn’t care if you gave a shit or not. I wanted a good time and he gave that to me for a bit and eventually I started caring. I hate myself for what I did but still I never wanted you to find out, especially when we were put in the same class. Like let's be real here no one would ever want to admit to the girlfriend of the guy you're hanging out with that you got rejected.”

Your mouth hangs open at her honesty. You weren’t sure what to say, and while you appreciated her brazenness, you felt your blood boiling. “So is side chick your full-time gig or are you just on call?” you snap. She chuckles, almost to herself before her face falls flat. She crosses her right leg over her left before letting her arm fall into her lap holding up her chin “See, I knew you had some fire in you. Look, you asked I answered what you do with that is beyond me.” Your hangover long forgotten, and a fire in your eyes. “So what? You wanted to just be on the side until you got bored?” she shakes her head “Oh no, I’ll be real here, I saw the way Hyunjin looked at you. I knew at some point he’d realize what a dumbass he was being and it’d eventually stop; but, I was enjoying it while it lasted. He called things off months ago” To say you were now beyond confused would be an understatement, and while her reputation is definitely accurate about her bitchiness, she seemed honest. You heard something you weren’t supposed to, something that set the spark that ignited the flame behind your rage that night.

“So, is that all?...or can I go?”

______________________________________________________________

Yeji and Lia were quite the pair.

Apart from you and Karina, they were absolutely hilarious when they got together, they always seemed to make you laugh; and with Karina completely in the wind and flaking on your group's traditional hangover chill day-the first one in your honor by the way-you were left partner less until Yeji came over with Felix in tow. You and Lia couldn’t contain your laughter as Yeji dragged Felix into your living room with Karina’s matching bright lilac hairband across his head. “Oh, no fair why am I purple? Lia’s green?” Felix whines as he stomps his foot in place. “What’s wrong with purple?” Lia questions “and this is aquamarine” she declares with a point to her headband. “Purples for girls switch with me” He cries. “No!” Lia proclaims.

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee”

“Hmmmmmm......No”

“Pwease”

“How bout no”

“Pl--Holy Fuck! Felix if you say please again my head will explode. Switch with me” You growl, pulling your headband off and holding it out toward him. “Ooo Pink!” He exclaims excitedly. Yeji giggles as she finishes setting up her portable projector. “Felix?” she calls. His eyes are bright as he smiles in her direction “Yeah?” “You’re adorable” She smiles as she makes her way over to your couch ruffling his hair as she takes a seat next to him. He forms his hands in the shape of a heart before separating them and placing each half of the heart on his cheeks. “Ahhh! Felix-oppa! I love you! you’re the best idol in the world” You tease. Lia grips your hands as she joins in on your teasing. “Felix-oppa! Give us a song oppa!” you laugh as you and Lia jump in circles. “Ha.Ha.Ha. You’re both top tier comedians” Felix groans. “Lix, what do you mean? You literally rejected that scout from JYP” You ask whispering the JYP as you release yourself from Lia and make your way over to the couch. “I mean I don’t think being an idol would be for me”

“Oh, come on Lix it was a joke” Lia whines “Yeah besides you could definitely be an idol. You’re an amazing dancer, you got the image for it” You mention. “And personality” Yeji adds. “Yeah! You have an awesome personality for an idol too, your fans would probably call you something adorable like sunshine or something cause of your personality” Felix blushes, bringing his hands to his face hiding. “Stop~!” He whines in embarrassment. You roll your eyes “Fine....so what are we doing first Yeji.” a mischievous smile forms on her lips “Well......” she giggles before she pulls out 4 mics from her bag.

“OH, COME ON!” Felix shouts

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, Nal teojil geotcheoreom anajwo, Geuman saenggakae mwoga geuri eoryeowo Geojinmalcheoreom kiss-haejwo naega neoege, Majimak sarangin geotcheoreom Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Naeil ttawin eomneun geotcheoreom love” You guys sang. You laughed internally as you and Felix also did the choreography and ended up facing each other in Lisa’s part of the choreography. You smile in victory as the words WINNER flash across yours and Felix’s screen.

“What’s the next song?” Felix giggles to Yeji. She shrugs “I don’t know it's your turn to choose Lixie” she states as she hands him her phone so he can go through the catalog. You take a seat on the couch with a heavy breath as Lia takes a seat next to you. “I don’t know how that boy has so much energy after last night” you groan. Lia gives a small giggle “He’s not human that’s why” she suggests. You ponder her statement for a moment “True” you both chuckle to yourselves. “But I actually just wanted to see how you were doing you know? You still haven’t really told me how your talk with Ye-na went. Or if you are actually going to meet with Hyunjin later”

You sigh at her words “Well, I’m okay honestly. And my talk with Ye-na went.......fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she lives up to her reputation of being a grade A bitch.” You explain “But at least I got what I think is the truth from her” Lia stares at you dumbfounded. “And what about Hyunjin?” You shrug “What about him? Honestly, I was going to talk to him tonight which honestly, I’m not particularly ready to see him, especially after what I did last night....”

“Girl what did you do last night?!”

“Nothing crazy, just tried to get Hyunjin to sleep with me” You groan in embarrassment. “YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” Lia exclaims. Yeji’s and Felix’s eyes flash to you “Slept with who?” Yeji questions. You shake your head rapidly “No one. Nothing” you give Lia a glare, she sinks in her seat with her hand placed over her mouth. “Y/N who’d you sleep with?” Yeji urged. “No one honestly I just TRIED to sleep with someone and thank god they weren’t an asshole and knew I was drunk” You explain your glare not leaving Lia’s face. She mouthed a sorry before Twice’s Dance the Night Away played through your speakers. Felix jumped as he quickly paused the song “Sorry.” You, Lia, and Yeji laughed at the sudden interruption.

“Felix you’re so cute”

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be on edge all day.

You hadn’t texted or called and its almost 5, he felt himself slowly falling into insanity. His leg shaking rapidly as he checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time today. Why hadn’t you texted? Hyunjin felt his heart racing as Changbin and Seungmin, Hyunjin’s dorm mate, shouted as they played their game. Hyunjin was nervous at how things would go, and while he knew the chances of you forgiving him were slim, he hoped you would give him another chance. He knew how badly he continuously fucked up before but he’d be different. He hopes you can remember how things had changed before you had left him, that you can see he does love you and he’d never do anything else to ruin it.

He watched as the clock went up a minute. Then another, then another before his screen timed out. “Why don’t you just call her?” Changbin suggested pulling Hyunjin out of his thoughts. “Huh?” He called in confusion. Changbin and Seungmin look at each other before laughing. “Call her” The older male suggests. “I have remember? She doesn’t answer” He responds sarcasm dripping off his words. “Wasn’t that before she agreed to talk to you today though?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods slowly “I don’t want to harass her though, what if she changed her mind?”

“Then she’s a bitch for not letting you know” Seungmin snaps.

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like you know her” He warns.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, before focusing back on the game. “I’m just saying she got your hopes up for nothing if she changed her mind, the least she could do is at least let you know that you two won't be talking today and she needs more time”

“You act like she owes him anything honestly” Changbin mumbles, but Hyunjin heard it. He knew his friend was mad at how things played out, Changbin was big on loyalty and honesty. Even though, Hyunjin was one of his best friends it didn’t mean Changbin would hide his anger at Hyunjin’s treatment of you during the beginning of your relationship. The night you ended things whilst Jisung comforted him, Changbin tried to contain his laughter. His ‘I told you so’s’ became a daily routine for Hyunjin. Hyunjin couldn’t blame him though, Changbin had warned him to stop messing with you and take things seriously. Hyunjin could only wish he could go back and listen to him. If he did, he wouldn’t be in the situation he’s in now. You’d still be his. He’d still be able to call you if he just wanted to hear your voice. He wishes he could go back and kick his past self’s ass. Scream at him how fucking terrible it is without you. Changbin was right, you didn’t owe him anything, so Hyunjin sat quiet staring at your contact hoping something---anything would come through from it.

Hyunjin’s gaze was pulled away by Changbin snatching his phone. Panic filled his chest “Wait! What are you doing?” he called as he went to grab his phone back. Seungmin jumps from his place on the couch standing between him and Changbin. “I’m calling Y/N” Changbin confesses as he presses the phone to his ear. “NO! No” He cries “Please dude I’m not kidding----Hello? Y/N? Yeah, its Changbin” Hyunjin’s eyes widen as he can hear your voice through the phone “Hang up! I’m not kidding Hang up” He pleaded tears practically blinding him as he struggled against Seungmin hold. “Oh yeah Hyunjin is right here, yeah I mean it’s a little weird I guess but I don’t have your number so...” Changbin winked at him, Hyunjin felt as if he would combust. “Oh, I mean he’s kinda tied up right now but I could definitely get him to meet you there.” Hyunjin froze in his place as Changbin continued “Yeah I think he’ll be there before that but yeah that works” “What’s she saying?” He whispers, Changbin holds his finger up. “Okay, but you should definitely text me Y/Nie~ who else is going to help me with.......you know what” The male whined.

“Help you with what?” Hyunjin whispered.

Changbin shushed him “Well it was nice talking to you I’ll see you later bye Y/Nie~” Hyunjin stared at Changbin dumbfounded as he hung up the phone and handed it to him. “You guys got chips?” Changbin questioned casually. Hyunjin’s lips parted as he stood there with his phone in his hand, staring at Changbin. “Well....” He urged. Changbin looked at him confused.

“Well, what?”

“What did she say?”

“She wants to talk to you” Changbin shrugged.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen “And you were going to what? Just not tell me?!” He quickly started looking for his keys and wallet. Grabbing a bucket hat and hoodie in the process. The muscular male chuckled to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was, when it was a few minutes before she said cause, I knew If I said anything you’d race out the door like you’re trying to do now besides you don’t even know where she wants you to meet her” Hyunjin stops in his tracks, “Where?” Changbin shrugs, Hyunjin pouts and stomps his foot “Tell meeeeee” he whines. And while Hyunjin knows he sounds pathetic; he’s not going to waste any more time. If there was a way to fix things then he was going to do it. But with his friend knowing him way too well and you saying a specific time Hyunjin knew he would have to wait. With that in mind, he stomped his way over to the couch. A pout on his lips, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared daggers at Changbin. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how much time went by as Changbin played on his phone ignoring Hyunjin’s death glare.

“Her apartment, 5 minutes” He states with a smug smirk on his lips and a wink.

“5 MINUTES!?” Hyunjin cries as he jumps from the couch and rushes toward the door.

“YOU ACT LIKE YOU WONT BE THERE IN TWO!!” He hears Changbin call as he sprints out the door.

______________________________________________________________

You paced back and forth as the clock got closer and closer to 6.

Your heart was performing a full drum solo in your chest, your palms were sweaty and you felt like you were underwater. While you found it odd that Changbin had called you from Hyunjin’s phone you were grateful for him being the one to actually let Hyunjin know when to come talk. You had put it off for most of the day and after your conversation with Ye-na you were still utterly confused on what the entire truth was. You were happy Lia was willing to hang out at Yeji’s place while you and Hyunjin talked. You were also exceptionally grateful for Karina for having dropped off a bottle of vodka and encouraged you to do a shot; cause while you did feel anxious, at least you still felt brave enough to have this conversation. You weren’t sure what Hyunjin would say and you didn’t know what your relationship would be after tonight. There were two things you were sure about 1. Your relationship with Hyunjin was toxic and things would have to change drastically if you were to take him back. And 2. you still loved him despite the way he had treated you; you still loved him. You poured another shot, along with drinking you’ve picked up another bad habit since your break up with Hyunjin, smoking. And no, not something disgusting like cigarettes but you do find yourself lighting up a blunt and taking a couple of drags here and there.

You enjoyed the calming feeling that came from marijuana. With your anxiety through the roof and having had a panic attack in front of him, Yeonjun from your dance class hooked you up with his guy. For the first day or two, you only smoked with Yeonjun in his dorm. But when Felix began questioning the nature of your friendship with Choi Yeonjun, knowing his bad boy reputation, you began to slowly distance yourself from Yeonjun. Felix found out shortly after about your little habit but promised not to say anything to anyone else. You found yourself surprised when your new smoking buddy became Felix. Only smoking when you felt huge bouts of anxiety coming on and you needed to calm down. Your pulled away from your thoughts as a series of rapid knocks came to your door. You jumped in a panic quickly putting the blunt out on your tongue before stashing it away under a magazine on the coffee table. “Shit” You groaned as you tried to fan the smoke away. You rush to the door almost tripping over your shoes before you pull the door open with a sigh. You stare down your ex as your chest heaves, you notice him leaning against the door frame struggling to catch his breath “You, okay? You look like you ran a marathon” Hyunjin struggled to get out in-between gasps.

“You’re one to talk” You counter gesturing to him. You notice suspicion in his eyes “What’s that smell?” your heart sinks in your chest. “What? Oh, yeah Felix got me into those incense things recently” you lie “trust me babe I’ve been to plenty of parties to know what weed smells like so try that again” Hyunjin calls your bluff. You swallow nothing, you find yourself growing irritated at the smug smirk on his lips. When you were together you would have immediately cracked and probably told him everything, but now, oh now you wanted to whip that smirk off his face “Are you going to keep interrogating me? Or are we going to talk about what we actually need to talk about?” You snap. “And don’t act like you have a right to ask me anything personal right now” His whole confident demeanor is washed away by your words; you notice the panic in his eyes as he stands straight; the smirk no longer on his lips instead there sat a small pout. “Fine...can I come in or is that question too personal too?” You roll your eyes before stepping to the side and allowing him entry.

“Soo, where is it then huh?” He asks casually.

“Where’s what?”

He chuckles at your question “Nothing” his eyes drift around the room. You and Lia hadn’t changed much in the time since he’s last been here, beside the smell of marijuana, it was pretty much the same. He notices the one magazine out of place and glances in your direction. “What? What are you looking for?” You question, irritation leaks into your tone. “Your weed” He shrugs. You two stand across the room for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Your eyes in a battle with one another, eventually you realize he’s not going to let this go and you wanted answers so with a heavy heart you roll your eyes before making your way over to the coffee table and toss the magazine to the side. “There. Happy?” You groan frustrated before falling back onto your couch. “Ecstatic” He replies sarcastically. “Like come on Y/N you really thought I'd be okay with you doing that?”

“You don’t do weed, Hyunjin”

“That’s not my fucking point Y/N and you know it! Why are you smoking in the first place?”

You couldn’t help but laugh “If you gave any of a shit during our relationship, you’d know I have an anxiety disorder.” You lean forward grabbing the vodka bottle and pour yourself a shot. “I did give a shit.” “What? When I broke up with you? I mean come on” You toss the shot back swallowing it whole “You didn’t give a shit not for a long time” Hyunjin stood in place dumbfounded. This is not how this conversation was supposed to go, but right now at least it was something, and even though he was raging at the idea of you being high right now he had to give it you; you were right, he didn’t know you had an anxiety disorder. Why didn’t he know that? “Look I know I fucked up, but I care about you and I know what can happen if you’re high and just not paying attention”

“I smoke when I’m home or with.... someone I’m not stupid.”

“Someone? Who Felix?”

“No....just...someone”

“Well, someone is going to get their ass kicked so Y/N needs to let me know who”

“Why?”

Hyunjin’s jaw was clenched, you’ve never been this difficult and it was hard for him not to let his jealousy show. He needed to know who the fuck got you to smoke and he needed to teach them to stay in their place. “Fuck Y/N! Just tell me!” He growls, his fists clenched. “No! I don’t have to tell you shit! You're going to ruin my connect. Why don’t you go question Ye-na or any of the other sluts you cheated on me with?” Hyunjin had nothing to say to that. He stared at you with hurt in his eyes “It wasn’t like that” he mumbled “So what was it like then?” He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. While he was willing to answer any questions you had he himself wasn’t sure what it was like honestly. “I don’t know.... just not this fucking picture you have in your mind about things” He grumbled. “You don’t know what I'm thinking right now” You retort. “You’re right. I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking right now! You've been naïve but you’ve never been fucking stupid” He argued. “So, I’m stupid now?!” You cross your arms over your chest “When you’re smoking weed and getting black out drunk? yes!”

“I wasn’t black out dr----You called me! Just fucking stop Y/N. You’re doing stupid shit and you’re going to get yourself hurt. Bad.” He cut you off. He didn’t understand why you were being this way and whilst he was supposed to be explaining the Ye-na situation, he couldn’t help but be angry at your recklessness. “You’d know all about that right?” you snap. “YOU ACT LIKE I MEANT TO HURT YOU” He shouted. You reach for the bottle again but Hyunjin’s quicker and snatches it from your grasp. “You’ve drank enough for the past two days don’t you think?” He growls as he places the bottle down on your shelf. You stare daggers at him in response. A smirk on your face as you reach for your blunt and put it to your lips “Fucking stop! Y/N”

“Oh please! Look at you, you’re acting all high and mighty. Your hypocrisy is showing Hyunjin” you challenge as you light the blunt. Your eyes not leaving his. “I haven’t smoked for a while Y/N. I haven’t done anything I used to do for a while” he confesses, realizing there were more important things to talk about. He hopes you catch the double meaning behind his words. You sat quietly taking in a long drag before releasing the smoke. “Is that supposed to impress me or something? I don’t think you realize how much this whole thing fucked me up---How you fucked me up, Hyunjin!” you exclaim, quickly getting to your feet. “Fuck please just-just tell me what to do then?! I don’t know what you fucking want! I’m trying and the more I try the more you pull away! You think this shit is easy for me? It’s not! You ripped my fucking heart out too you know? Instead of just talking to me or even letting me say fucking anything you ended things and that’s only because I found you that night!” He growls crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes are filled with fire. “Oh boo-fucking-Hoo your girlfriend found out you cheated and dumped you how fucking sad” you retort “Do you need a hug?” you couldn’t contain your sarcasm. You were beyond livid. How dare he sit there and act like he was an innocent bystander.

“Can you be fucking serious for one minute? fucking Christ.”

“Can you be honest for one minute?”

“What?! You wanna know if I cheated on you?!” He argues, you stare at him with fury behind your eyes “no I kno---Yeah! I fucked Ye-na…..months ago! When I didn’t give a fuck about you or this relationship!” He cuts you off, you notice the anger dissipating from him being replaced with guilt and regret. You’re frozen in place and Hyunjin makes his way around the coffee table and places himself in front of you, his hands firmly wrapped around your arms. “But I haven’t cheated on you in months, I’ve been with no one else in almost a year! I know its fucked up, I know I’m wrong for what I did but I changed.” His voice cracks as your eyes drift around the room, you could feel your anger leaving you as well, whilst he confesses. “What changed then?” you question, your voice is almost inaudible. “You. Well, I wanted to change for you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know but please just at least don’t drink anymore today, okay? I’m not kidding it was really scary to find you like that last night. I know what I did ruined my right to care but I do, I care so fucking much. And I need you to be okay, not amazing, not happy even, but at least okay” His hands find themselves holding your face to make you look at him. Your fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Hyun, I’m fine....”

He shakes his head in response “Now who’s the one that won't be honest? You’re not fine and I know I’m part of the reason for that. I should have been better to you, I was confused about how I felt and I-I---sigh----I fucked up, so fucking bad. But once I realized how I felt I tried so hard to fix things and change and just leave that shit behind.” you stare at him in shock. You find your legs growing wobbly and your chest is tightening. You can feel your breathing getting heavier and heavier the more Hyunjin talks. You remove Hyunjin’s grasp on you and take a seat on the couch, you knew your anxiety would be off the charts. “Ca-can I ask you something then?” You ask, your voice is small. “Anything” Hyunjin sits on the table, you give him a small glare “Is me answering question more important than your stupid rule?” he argues before you can scold him for sitting on your table. “Did I mean anything to you? Like at all? I’m not going to lie I was so fucking confused for such a long time and I’m really tired of it.” Hyunjin’s hand ran over his face before finding its way to the back of his neck. “You mean everything to me....” His words are practically whispers. “So why---I can’t answer that. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to you so I won't answer that question” He cut you off.

“You said you’d answer everything”

“I said you could ask me anything, please, just know things are different now than they were, okay?”

“Hyunjin I need to know....”

“I can tell you how I feel now, I don’t feel the same way anymore so why does it matter?”

There they were again. The same question he always asked; does it matter? And for once you have a genuine answer “Yes it matters.” He sighs in response, grabbing the blunt that went out long ago from your hand and the lighter. You stare at him as he lights it and takes a long hit off it. You notice the way his hands are shaky and tears well up in his eyes. “Fine, honestly, when this all started, I didn’t really care. ---obviously---just listen. Y/N. I didn’t care and not because of you but because you know how I felt about relationships.” He confesses. “So, why’d even ask me out in the first place? In case you forgot Hyunjin, the whole reason we were even in a relationship was because you initiated it.” You question, puzzled. “I-I know I did, I got jealous honestly...---of who? I was only hooking up with you at the time” You cut him off “Minho and a little Han but mostly Minho” He states honestly. “Huh?” now you were really confused, why Minho? He was your dance partner last year and was the best dancer of 3rd year. But you two were no more than acquaintances at most and while you did spend a lot of time with him last year it was always about dance.

“There was a rumor going around that Minho was going to confess and ask you out....”

“And so, you asked first? So, he couldn’t?”

Hyunjin nods in response, “I know it's stupid, and we were hooking up so I should’ve trusted that you liked me but I was insanely fucking jealous and it just happened. But I don’t regret it, I fell in love with you and I want to show you things would be different. I ended things with Ye-na almost as soon as they happened and—fuck—I know how badly I fucked up. I just want to fix things, I want to be with you, I feel so lost without you. I love you and I’ll make you trust me again.” You felt your heart clench at the softness in his tone. He seemed scared, he kept fidgeting as he allowed the blunt to go out and placed it on your table beside him. His breathe was shaky as he explained. “Would you have ever told me?” You ask “a-about anything?” he shakes his head “If I knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have broken up with me then yes but otherwise, I never wanted you to find out.”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Because look what happened when you found out! Fuck I lost you and that was the whole reason I stopped everything with everyone but you because I didn’t want to lose you but Ye-na told you whatever she told you that night and I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t answering my messages and I was fucking panicking because I just wanted to get you out of there because she was fucking pissed. But she saw you first---I still don’t understand how everything happened---all I know is that losing you has been the worst thing that’s ever happened to me right now and I just-I want to be with you. I can be better; I’ll do whatever you want. I can make you happy.” He cried, he held onto your hands. Tears stream down his face, you stare at him sadly “It wasn’t just the cheating, Hyunjin. You can’t say you didn’t act like I wasn’t a burden. I know you said things would change but how can I be sure of that? For a long time, things were…. bad and I don’t want to be hurt again” you state hesitantly. “I won’t—I’ll be better I can help you trust me. I can love you the right way. I’ve never done this before but I’ll figure it out for you. Anything. Please just-just take me back, you don’t have to completely forgive me but please tell me I didn’t ruin things forever. Fuck I need to know you still love me, please tell me you still love me” He pleaded, he was on his knees his eyes never leaving yours. Rivers of tears flow down his angelic face.

Your heart racing, you remove your hand from his, caressing his cheek wiping tears from their descent. “of course, I still love you. But I’m so fucking hurt and I don’t know if I could trust you.” He shakes his head “N-no do-don’t say that please. You can trust me. I’ll prove to you that you can please just give me a chance. I won’t hurt you again” he begs reaching into his pocket and unlocking his phone before shoving it in your hands. “You can go through it. Everything. And you can do that until you trust me again. I will do everything I can to be with you again.” You stare at the device in your hands, you notice his wallpaper. A selfie you had sent him a few months ago from your dance practice with Felix for the showcase. You felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you locked the device and handed it back to him “I-I don’t want to do that. I’m not that kind of person, Hyun and as much as I want to try things again, I can’t do that until I can trust you again.” Hyunjin buried his face in your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist. You felt his tears on your shoulder as he held you. “I can’t-I can’t lose you give me a chance just one chance please” He begged.

“Hyun...”

He pulls back slightly, your eyes connect. Your faces centimeters apart. “You’re everything to me....” He whispers pressing his forehead against yours. “I won’t fuck this up again. I need you” Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. You hate how just him being close could affect you so badly. “I-I-I do-don’t know.... Hyun, I love you b-but I’m scared honestly. How can you know that yo-you won’t cheat on me again or something? I can’t deal with being hurt like that again” You profess. “I’ll give you my passwords, you can have the code to my phone, anything---everything I don’t care give me a chance please, you saw that I was changing babe you know I can make you happy. I did once, I can do it again. Better. I love you I want to give you all of me please” He begged. You weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to be with him, fuck you only wanted to be with him. Your heart ached for him every day since you had broken up, but you felt like it could also be a big mistake. You stared at him for a moment, everything about him was objectively the same. He still had the same flawless skin, the same seductive look in his eye; even when he wasn’t trying to have it, the same plush kissable pouty lips, but something was different and you weren’t entirely sure what, and whilst his new black hair had been quite the surprise last night. You knew that was definitely not what was different. But you definitely wanted to find out.

You felt your heart race as you tilt your chin up connecting your lips. You felt butterflies fluttering in your gut as you feel that familiar spark. Hyunjin sat in shock for a second before he responded quickly. His heart soared as he felt your lips mold into his, his hand finding its way to your waist as he deepened the kiss parting your lips with his tongue. You open your mouth accepting his tongues exploration. He loved that you always allowed him dominance in your relationship, never once battling to be in charge. He missed your taste so much his mouth practically watered as your tongues dance around in your mouth. Your fingers find their way into his midnight locks.

You both find yourselves sprawled across the couch, your back pressed against the cushions as Hyunjin straddled you; your legs wrapped around his waist as you devoured each other's mouths. A small moan escapes from your throat as Hyunjin grinds his hips into yours. His lips make their way to your throat. “H-Hyun...” You moan. “Tell me you’re mine” He begs “Please, baby?” You feel your panties growing wet “A-all yours, Hyunnie” Hyunjin could practically cry at your words; He presses his lips against yours roughly, putting every ounce of emotion he could into the kiss. “I love you” He confesses as he pulls away stroking your hair behind your ear. “Fuck... you’re so fucking beautiful baby” you feel your cheeks heat up, you bury your face in his neck. “Stoooopppp” you whine. “No, I’m so fucking happy right now baby” He smiles adjusting you both so you were straddling his lap. His hands find their way to your thighs, stroking them up and down, lovingly. You giggle at his actions, “You’re something else”

“Tell me you love me” He pouts.

“Hyun...”

“Tell me!”

“Hyunnie...”

“Baby~ Tell me you love mee”

You roll your eyes at his whining. A smile placed firmly on your lips as he stared at you with a pout. “Fuck you’re so cute I love you too” you break. A wide smile forms on his lips his arms wrap around your torso pulling you into his chest. “I won’t fuck up this time. I promise baby” “I hope not, I’m really scared still, Hyun” You confess. “I know baby, but I know what it's like to be without you now. I’m not doing it again; you’re stuck with me. All I see is you now baby” He admits shyly. you kiss him in response, grinding your hips into his. You almost jump as you feel his hard member against your clothed core. His hands find their way to your hips holding you in place “Fuck, you can’t do that” He warns. You look at him with a pout. “Why not?”

“Because, baby, you just can’t right now” He states.

“But...” you kiss his neck seductively, nibbling and sucking on his sweet spot; you felt his grip on you grow tighter. “It’s been so long, and I want you so bad right now” You hear him sigh “Fuck...” He whispers under his breath. “Baby, stop, please I want to do things the right way” He can feel his resolve breaking the more you continue. If there was one thing Hyunjin knew for sure, it was that the last thing he truly wanted in this world right now was for you to stop. “Don’t you want me?” you question. “More than anything else in the world right now” He missed you, in every way. Not only has it been a really fucking long time since he last was even able to think about sex with anyone but his hand, but in that time, he found himself always feeling exceptionally heartbroken every time he thought about sex with anyone but you. If anyone wanted it right now, Hyunjin definitely did, but he wanted to do things right this time. His past self would hate him for what he was trying to do without question.

“Please....daddy, I can be so good for you.” you pleaded. “F-fuck...I-I know you can baby, you always are.” He soothes, rubbing your thigh with his thumb “I need to do things the right way with you, this time” His voice is almost inaudible. You grind yourself against him once more, “whyyyyy~” you whine. You guide his hand up your thigh to your hips and under your shirt placing them on your rubs just under your breasts. Hyunjin’s eyes are stuck on your now partially exposed torso, his mouth waters at the feeling the pressure from your hips are causing on his fully hard member. You find yourself growing more and more aroused as time went on. His bottom lip finds its way between his teeth as you continue grinding against him. “babyyyy stop~” he coos, his cheeks heat up and while he’s used to you being submissive and always eager for sex, he’s never had you literally begging for it before. You just took him back and he wasn’t going to immediately just jump back into things like before. But God did he want to fuck you right now.

You leaned forward once more kissing his neck, you heard the groans under his breath. You thrived in knowing how badly you were affecting him. “Fuck….” He growled as he wraps his arms around your waist tightly holding you still. He flips the two of you over, pressing his lips to yours before pulling himself off of you. You pout at his actions “what are you doing?” you question, puzzled. “Taking you somewhere to get food, because someone can’t control herself” He teases with a wink. You roll your eyes at him “watch how fast I reject you next time” you mumble as you lift yourself from your couch and make your way toward your room. “I heard that. Don’t play that game with me cause I will definitely win baby. But where are you going?” He states with a raised eyebrow. “To change I can’t go out in this” you gesture to your clothes. You rush into your room closing the door behind you. You make your way into your closet and grab a tight long sleeve and jeans. You notice Hyunjin laying across your bed, his arm placed behind his head a comfortable smile placed on his lips. You toss your clothes at him “you know I closed the door for a reason, right?” you muse. He nods “you know I don’t give a fuck right, I missed you.” He pouts “I had to go two months without even seeing you, you’re not leaving my side for a while.” He declares.

“I have to sleep and stuff Hyun”

he shrugs “so? You act like I won’t just not leave.” He tosses your clothes at you before crossing his arms over his chest. You chuckle in response, changing into your clothes. “You act like I’d have a problem with that baby” Hyunjin’s cheeks grow red at your words. “O-okay” he stammers shyly. You’ve always called him Hyun, or Hyunnie or on the rare occasion Jinnie but hearing you call him baby made Hyunjin’s heart race. He was absolutely nervous as you stood there, running the brush through your hair. “Y-you ready?” he questions, his eyes roaming over your figure. He groans internally why did he want to do things the right way? Fuck you always looked so good; he felt his heart flutter at your smile as you nod. He lifts himself from your bed as you make your way to the door. Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist from behind pulling you into him. You squeak as he kisses your cheek. “I love you, baby” he smiles as he grabs hold of your hand spinning you to face him before re-placing his hand on your waist pulling you into him tightly, his free hand caresses your cheek. “I love you too” you press your lips against his. Your heart flutters, your fingers feel tingly.

The love you had for him always seemed to leave you…. breathless.

__________________________________________________________

Taglist: @xxoverthinkerxx @elmi-chan @midsoulz @hyunjintoon

#hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smut #breathless #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #hyunjin break up #hyunjin make up #hyunjin toxic #hyunjin #skz angst #skz fluff #skz smut #stray kids hyunjin

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draco-dormiens · 10 months

Text

THE STRANGEST OF PLACES - Chapter Nineteen

draco x fem!ravenclaw reader / postwar au series

a/n: sorry for the wait guys. its a long one so get a cup of tea x

warnings: swearing, angst, description of harm

wc: 4503

masterlist

pls let me know if you want to be tagged!! if your name is bold, i couldn't tag your blog :( tags at the end ♡

Chapter Nineteen: It's a Purebloods World

As Draco approaches the doors to the Great Hall, he can feel his stomach swirling. McGonagall's unexpected arrival has given him much to think about, especially when she asked, where did it lead you, exactly?

When the entrance to the hall came into view, he saw Astoria just inside, leaning against the archway, the party slowing dying just beyond her. He feels sad at the sight of her, dressed to the nines, undeniably beautiful, and yet waiting for a man who wants anything but to marry her.

She certainly deserved better.

Her head snaps up as he approaches, as if she sensed him there, and her green eyes light up. He was expecting her to be angry, but she seemed anything but that.

"Draco," she says, rushing to his side, her hands lifting her gown off the floor, "is everything alright? You rushed off so suddenly. I didn't think you were coming back."

I didn't plan on, he thinks. How selfish of him.

"Sorry, 'Storia," he mumbles, "there was something I had to do."

"Is she okay?"

Draco furrows his brow at that question, utterly confused as to why she would ask such a thing. Was it that obvious he was running after you?

"W-what do you mean?" he stumbles, and all Astoria does is smile weakly.

"Your friend," she says softly, "that's who you ran after, isn't it?"

Draco feels speechless. Astoria eyes him curiously, awaiting his answer. Perhaps part of her was wishing he would say no.

"She's fine," he eventually said, "I just went to see if she was upset."

"That's good, then," Astoria speaks quietly, looking down at her hands as if disappointed, "you missed most of the ball. It's almost over."

She then looks back over her shoulder, and students are leaving the hall, adults stumbling merrily out into the cold of the night. Draco feels yet another pang of guilt.

"I'm so sorry for spoiling your night, 'Storia," Draco says sincerely, "I honestly didn't mean to."

"Your heart called to you," she said, still looking back at the hall, "nothing more to it, really."

"Really, I am-"

"When I was little," she interrupted, returning her attention back to him, "I had a crush on a muggle boy who lived in our village." Draco was confused at the sudden change in subject, but allowed her to continue regardless, "and I was utterly besotted with him. Well, as besotted as you can be at eight years old," she chuckles sadly, "but nevertheless, I watched him play with his friends in the park just across the road from our house. I would always hear my parents talk about muggles, and how they were lesser than we were, but I just couldn't understand what they meant."

She took a moment to pause, and then wandered over to a stone bench by the wall and sat down. Draco followed suit, cautiously, and took the space beside her.

"I couldn't understand," she repeated softly, "when all I could see was someone so wonderful. His hair was a soft brown colour, and he always wore a green jumper. Maybe that's why I was drawn to him," she pauses once more, "then, one summer afternoon, I snuck out the back garden and followed the path to the park. We played all night long, and neither of us spoke of our origin, or our families. He just invited me to play, as if he had known me his whole life. This muggle, who my parents said were scum, despite living in the very same village as them, accepted me as one of his own."

Draco listened intently, not wanting to interrupt her reminiscing. He could vaguely see where the story was heading.

"The next morning, my mother found out where I had been," Astoria continued, but this time her voice was much more serious, "because the little boys mother had posted a note through our letterbox, inviting me over for dinner. She tore it up in front of me, and banished me to my room for three days. The house elf would push my meals through the gap under my door. Even to this day, I can remember how that felt."

"Why are you telling me this?" Draco asks quietly, but he knew the reason.

"Because that feeling has stuck with me my entire life," Astoria looked across at him, "so, Draco, I understand, to some degree, what you must be feeling... the pain, the anger, the questions of why. But, the truth is, that's just how things are. It's an unwritten rule: purebloods stick with purebloods."

"That shit again," Draco mutters frustratedly, and put his head in his hands, "we just fought a war and yet I'm still being pushed around by the same, stupid ideals."

"Once upon a time, you believed in those same ideals," says the pretty brunette, "you saw no reason to argue against it, did you not?"

"Things are different now."

"You may be, but our families are not," Astoria points out, and Draco heaves a heavy sigh, "our days of freedom were always numbered, Draco. At some point, we were going to be married off. To a pureblood."

"Why are you so okay with this?" Draco then bursts out, getting up from the bench, his face full of frustration, "after what you just told me, you're going to lie down and accept a marriage to appease someone else?"

Astoria laughs through her nose.

"Who said I was okay?" she said, "I have merely come to accept that my voice has no volume," she pauses briefly again, averting her gaze from him, "I'm also aware that your mother is keen to have us marry. My mother wrote to me about a meeting between them recently."

"Great," Draco huffs, pacing with his hands on his hips.

"I understand that is not ideal for you," she says, a hint of sadness in her tone, "I only wish for you to accept it. I have no doubt your mother is the reason you asked me to the ball tonight. Back when we went for lunch that afternoon, I already knew you had fallen for that Ravenclaw girl. I could see it in your face. I didn't expect you to change your feelings from one simple luncheon, and I still don't."

Draco has no words. He's simply run out of things to say, because his voice, too, has no volume. No meaning. No worth. Solemnly he takes the spot beside her once more.

"Did you know then," Draco asks, his voice empty, "about my mother's wishes?"

"I had an inkling," she sighs, "why else would she arrange a lunch for us both. Like I said back then, I was surprised when you agreed... given the circumstance." Her voice trails off at the end, as if she had become caught in her thoughts, "I didn't mention anything to you because I was only picking at straws then... plus, I felt you deserved some more time... to be ignorant."

There was a stale silence.

"And what about your feelings?" Draco says, "sounds like you've been busy worrying about mine."

"That doesn't matter." Astoria says shortly.

"You deserve better than this, Astoria," he then says, in all serious, "you shouldn't have to settle. You deserve to marry a man who loves you."

"That was never an option for me," she said sternly, "you are not a stranger to how these marriages work, and yet you still fight. Why, Draco? We have no cards left to be dealt."

"I can't give you what you want."

"I'm not asking for anything," she turns her whole body to him, and their eyes lock. She really is beautiful... if only he could make himself love her, "all I wish is that you find it in your heart to accept this partnership, because our parents have decided. It's set in stone."

Draco narrows his eyes at the girl before him.

"Do you know something, Astoria?" he queries, and she visibly gulps, "because if you do, I would very much appreciate you sharing it."

She falters. She did know something. Draco suspects she's known a lot more than him this entire time. Astoria shuffles uncomfortably in her seat.

"My mother's letter didn't just speak about the desire for our marriage," she goes on to say, and Draco's eyes are glued to her, "our parents are arranging a dinner, a few days before the end of the school year. A sort of... engagement party."

"A what?" Draco yet again rises from his seat, his voice echoing down the corridor.

"Your mother should be writing you soon," Astoria explains, refusing to meet the fury in his eyes, "I can only assume they expect you to propose on that day."

"This is fucking ridiculous," Draco spits, pacing once more before her, "I can't seriously believe they're plotting behind our backs. Well, at least behind my back. What a fucking joke."

"It's final, Draco-"

"Fuck this," he yells, and throws his fists against the stone wall. Astoria rises quickly, but holds back, not wanting to get in between his rage, "this is such bullshit," Draco slumps against the wall, holding his fist in his other hand. Clearly, he had damaged it somehow. It was silent yet again, the air thick. He was defeated, it would seem. Astoria eyes him carefully, noticing how his shoulders slump. Draco was out of options.

"I've got nowhere left to run, have I?" he mutters helplessly, his voice almost cracking. Astoria moves across the space, and gently takes the hand that had collided with the wall in hers. She soothingly runs a thumb across the visible gashes on his knuckles. He allows her to have this moment of calmness.

"I'm sorry."

"Please, don't be," he says softly, and their eyes meet once more, but this time hers are lined with tears, "we're both in this mess, right? It's not just about me."

"There's a difference, though," she whispers sadly, "I'd be happy to marry you."

"Don't say that," Draco breathes, shaking his head lightly, "I feel terrible enough as it is."

"I mean it," she then lets go of his hand, "I don't expect you to feel the same, and I surely don't expect you to stop loving that girl, but if you can, please try and accept me. That's all I ask."

"Astoria-"

"There isn't much more to say," she turns away from him, as if to leave, "we will no doubt see one another soon. Please, take care of yourself, Draco."

He has no fight left in him. She floats down the corridor towards two girls that had emerged around the corner, no doubt in search of Astoria. Draco remains slumped against the wall, his knuckles throbbing.

"It was Astoria."

Hermione words has swirled in your head ever since she had spoken them. She went on to explain what Edward had told her.

"Astoria approached him, out of the blue," Hermione had said, "somehow she heard that he was thinking of asking you to the ball, so she told him about the dress. Even though it's strange, I don't believe it was done with bad intentions... I think she was trying to help you."

Help you? In what way, exactly. The thought kept you awake most of the night, that and the fact Edward was so kind to you once you had finally returned to him. You sat him down and explained that it wasn't him, he was a lovely boy, you just weren't in the right headspace, and then apologised profusely for leaving him on the dancefloor. He said he understood, and that he had an inkling you may have eyes for someone else. That only made you feel worse. After bidding him a goodnight, he kissed your knuckles and said, "If you ever change your mind, I promise to take good care of you."

And then he retreated to his dorm room.

You weren't sure if him shouting at you would have somehow felt better. The fact that he just accepted it made you feel like the world's most terrible person. For a moment, when Hermione said that Astoria was mixed up in all of this, you thought she might have orchestrated the whole thing, but Edward was genuine. He really did like you.

Which was a shame, really, because you were hopelessly in love with Draco Malfoy, who you were partly dreading seeing again because you knew he'd bring up the kiss, and you weren't entirely sure what to say. You wanted to tell him that it was magical, and that it's only made you love him more, but the reality of it was that it only made things more complicated. As the bright morning sun woke you from your troublesome slumber, you figure you may have slept a grand total of two hours, if that. Groggily, you push yourself up, to see everyone had already left to make the most of the sun.

You wash last night off your skin. Wash his kisses from your face. Really, you had no energy to see people today, but if Draco was looking to talk, you thought it was better to get it over with. Your head was so fuzzy, full of suppressed feelings and a million things you can't say. If he wanted to talk, it was time to get it all off your chest. After pulling on the first thing you came across, you headed down to the common room, where a voice called out to you.

"Y/N," calls Emilie as you pass her, a fellow Ravenclaw student and sixth year, "there's a Slytherin student waiting outside for you. Not sure what she wants. Been out there since breakfast."

She?

"Oh," you sound, still half asleep, your brain not registering who your visitor may be, "uh, thanks, Emilie. I'll go see to it."

Heading for the stairs, you descend the tower to be met with the big oak doors that lead to the rest of the castle. With a light push, they open, to reveal the last person you would imagine standing outside the common room, waiting for you. You almost rubbed at your eyes to make sure you weren't stuck in some twisted dream. Then she spoke, which only confirmed that this was indeed real.

"About time you showed. I think we need to talk."

Astoria stood there, looking like a million Galleons in her everyday clothes. She really must have been there since breakfast, because she looked rather impatient.

"Talk?" you raise an eyebrow, "if this is about Draco-"

"It's not," she cut you off, "well, partly it is. I just think we need to get some clarity."

You don't refuse her, instead you both walk to a more secluded area to speak in private, without gawking eyes wondering what you were doing together. She walked before you, her long, silky brown hair gently swaying as she went. There was a green ribbon keeping it in a neat ponytail, her clothes freshly pressed as if they were straight off the hanger. Astoria stopped before an unused classroom, checked both ways, and then ushered you inside. You followed. As soon as you shut the door behind you, an uncomfortable atmosphere fell over the damp-smelling room.

"I'm not entirely sure how much Draco has told you," she begins, walking to the other side of the room, not facing you. She stops at the window, looking out, "but there is something I think you should know.”

Intrigued and also worried, you walk halfway across the room, swipe your hand across the surface of a dusty desk and perch on it. Astoria was still facing the other way.

"Its you, isn't it?" you then say, and she doesn't respond, "you're the one he'll end up with."

"So, you know that much?"

"It's rather obvious," you say shortly, "his mother arranges lunches, you ask him out for drinks, he asks you to the dance, kind of self explanatory, wouldn't you say?"

Astoria keeps her eyes trained on the outside world. Her voice is bitter.

"I'm not here to argue with you," she says curtly, "we both want the same thing, don't we? We both want Draco to be happy."

Your stomach swirls at the mention of his name on her lips. It almost sounds foreign coming from her, like it doesn't belong on her tongue. You feel a little angry that she is implying her goal is Draco's happiness, because if she is anything like the other purebloods he's told you about, that isn't even on her agenda.

"You care about his happiness?" you almost scoff, "if that's true, then you wouldn't be so compliant about all of this. Or do you ignore his feelings too?"

Astoria spins on her heel, a look of thunder in her face.

"I do care about his feelings, that's why I'm here, talking to you," she takes a deep breath in, and then exhales, calming herself, "you understand what is expected of him, don't you? No matter what your relationship is, he will inevitably go with his parents wishes. That's just what purebloods do."

"Let me guess, I wouldn't know, because I'm half-blood, right?" you narrow your eyes at her, "do you want to know what I think? I think you purebloods care more about your reputation than those closest to you. Draco is in turmoil. He's being forced down a path he hasn't chosen, being pushed into a courtship he didn't ask for, and now you're, what, going to tell me to stay away from him?"

"Exactly," she says, "I'm not a cruel person, Y/N. I understand that this is affecting you just as much, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this, I really am," her voice is sharp, but the look in her eyes is genuine. You feel a stab of pain right through your chest, "but Draco's life is different to yours, there are things he must do, and his love for you is keeping him from doing them," her voice wobbles slightly at the latter part, "can't you see? Keeping this up is only making it harder for him... if you care for him like you say you do, then please... not for me, but for him... call it off. Please."

Call it off. You weren't even together. One kiss in the ladies toilet is all you had to claim.

"Draco and I aren't seeing each other," you then mutter, swallowing the lump in your throat. You couldn't help but notice how she perked up slightly at that, "so, there isn't anything to call off. I'm not entirely sure why I'm telling you this, but we've been trying to keep our distance, for a long time. Draco knows the repercussions, believe me. He's not stupid. But I can't stop caring about him, that just isn't doable I'm afraid. I made a promise to always be there for him. I won't break it."

"You must," she paces forwards. Now she's closer, you can see the tears lining her eyes, "if his parents ever found out about this, he'd be punished, and who's to say you'd be in the clear? Purebloods are ruthless, Y/N. I'm only trying to help you... you can find someone else, you're smart, pretty," she starts to sound desperate, and you feel slightly sorry for her, "I know it isn't my place, but I care about him... I know the shunning he'll face.... please, Y/N. I'm begging you, because I know he won't. He'll keep fighting if you do."

Tears start to sting the corners of your eyes. You fight the urge to break down, because showing her your weak side was the last thing you wanted to do.

"Astoria," you breathe, "I know why you're doing this, I really do, but it's not that easy."

"Don't you think I know that?" she says bitterly, "I know what it feels like to be shunned for not following the protocol. I don't want that for him," she wipes her eye on the sleeve of her jumper, "besides, you already have other boys that like you."

She looks back out of the window, as if she didn't want to face you. Her words lit a fiery feeling in your chest.

"You mean Edward Chambers, by any chance?" you hop down from the desk and storm over to her, "I hear it was you who told him about the dress I liked. Care sharing how that came about?"

For a moment she doesn't respond, but then her voice, much smaller and weaker, spoke.

"Please don't think I was interfering," she almost whispers, "I overheard some Ravenclaw girls in the bathroom. One of them was crying about Edward turning them down, and then I heard one of them mutter your name and how he never stops looking at you. So, I just thought if you had attention off another boy, then you would-"

"Forget about Draco?" you finish her sentence, and when she turns to face you again, her tears are black with mascara, "because it didn't work, Astoria."

"I know," she sniffles, "it sounds terrible, but please believe me when I say that I was only trying to help you. Far too many people get hurt in these circumstances... I thought I had a chance to save you from it."

She looks a little tired, as if this has been playing on her mind. Her night was ruined last night too. She was left out on the dancefloor, just like Edward. She was right, too many people are getting hurt.

"I'm sorry last night was ruined, it as my fault," you say, leaning against a different desk, "he ran after me, after all. Not that I wanted him to... I'm not trying to make his life difficult."

"I understand," she whispers, "and I know he loves you, Y/N, I can see it in his eyes, but it's that same love that will be his downfall. I'm asking you as someone with the same interests in mind, that you be the one to put an end to this."

Your head is spinning. For some relief, you begin to massage your temples to try and think clearer. Astoria's words make your body feel both tingly and numb. Could he really be in love with you, as you are with him? Is this really all coming down to you?

"I need some time, Astoria," you finally say, "I can't hurt him. I won't. He means far too much to me, do you even know what you're asking of me here?"

"Of course I do," she said, her voice louder, "I'm not heartless, Y/N, I'm no stranger to the weight of what I'm saying here, but we don't have time for you to think. Draco has spent too much time ignoring the inevitable," Astoria huffs, clearly drained, "he'll be mad I've told you, but two months from now our families are holding a dinner, and they are expecting Draco to propose."

Your stomach drops to your feet. Two months. Near the end of the year. That's exam season. Are they serious? The fiery feeling in your chest erupts, and all the suppressed feelings you've been storing away begin to bubble; love, frustration, anger, sorrow. You stand up straight, ready to implode.

"Are they seriously putting that on him? During exams? Graduation?" you snap nastily, "where the fuck do you people get off?"

"This is our life, Y/N," Astoria shouts, "this is how we've been raised, Draco is no exception. In two months time we will be engaged, and before the end of the year, we'll be married. I cannot change that, you cannot change that, and the longer you are in the picture the harder this will be for him. I'm begging you, for the sake of his sanity, let him down gently."

"I love him," you blurt, the words falling out of your mouth like water. Astoria's eyes widen as if horror stricken, "I'm in love with him, and I cannot, will not hurt him, do you understand? The only people causing him grief is you and that pathetic excuse of a family," you breathe heavily, breathless from shouting, "if I'm to do this, I do it my way. Got it?"

Astoria's cheeks are stained with black mascara tears. She takes a moment, but nods stiffly at your terms. She seems too exhausted to fight with you.

"So, you agree to put a stop to your relationship?" she asks quietly, eyes on the floor. You try to swallow the ever forming lump in your throat, and then speak with the last bit of strength you have.

"Draco means everything to me," you mutter, defeated, cornered. Your little haven had been shattered, the delusional hope that something might change had been swallowed whole, and you were left in a dusty, damp room with the man you loves future wife. At this point your life feels like a tragic soap opera, "and I want him to be at peace, and if what you're telling me is the truth, then I guess we're out of options. Draco's too good to go against them, I've known that from the start," the two of you lock eyes once more, both filled with defeat, "I won't ever stop loving him. That's the one thing I will not do."

"I understand," she rushes out, "I know it's the same for him."

You nod, and then turn towards the door. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you want nothing more than to be out of that dingy room.

"I can't promise when I'll do it, but if it's the last thing I can do to help him, I guess I have no choice." You say, empty and lifeless.

"I appreciate it-"

"Don't," you cut her off, "I'm not doing it for you."

With that, you leave the Slytherin girl alone in the classroom, falling back against the door as you close it. You try to take some deep breaths, praying that you can make it back to your dorm without running into him.

As you walk alone, the castle feels different. It's as if the world is somehow much duller than before. The sun doesn't illuminate the giant tapestries, or shine on the marbled floor. The sound of students laughter makes you flinch. The world is a cruel mistress, and you had a front row seat. These corridors that you once ran through, on your way to see his handsome face waiting for you at the top of the highest tower, were now hollow, cold, and most of all, lonely.

If Astoria's words were true, then you really had no chance, did you? There was never a single ray of hope for the two of you. It was always going to end up this way, but it still feels too soon. You hadn't had enough time with him, you still craved for more. To think, you finally had the moment you'd been waiting for, aching for, and now it's being snatched from your hands like it was never yours to begin with. The one memory you'll have of expressing your feelings for him is overshadowed by Pansy Parkinson and the girls loo.

In that moment, you realised you've been living for borrowed time. Every second you spent with him was one second closer to him leaving. You may love Draco Malfoy, but Draco Malfoy was not his own person. He belonged to someone else.

It was a purebloods world, and you were simply living in it.

disclaimer: i do not own hp or any of the characters in this story

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