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thefallennightmare · 6 months

Text

Just Pretend-eight

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: okay, I had no plans on updating tonight(it's already 12:15 in the morning and I have to be up in seven hours) But I realized how crazy busy the next few days are so I said fuck it, and power wrote this for you all! PLEASE ENJOY!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"You're doing it again."

I ignored Jolly as I continued to pace the length of our bus while they watched with worry in their eyes.

"I don't understand. What the fuck happened? I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her." I rambled on while running a hand over my mouth.

"Noah-."

"No," I snapped while stopping in my tracks and looked directly into Nick's eyes. "I tried to tell her about Trey but she believed him over me. I know what I heard. Wasn't I enough for her?"

Nick sighed as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen area of the bus. "We all know that's not the reason she didn't believe you. It has nothing to do about your worth to her, Noah. She has no love for Trey, she's just blinded by what she think she wants. He has her claws in deep and she think there's no way out."

"He's a disease, eating away at her," Jolly spoke from his spot on the couch.

"I'm so fucked," I hastily tied my hair back out of my face. "She'll never see me the way I see her."

Jolly disagreed with a shake of his head. "You don't see what I've seen the last month. I think she feels the same."

Just as I was about to argue with Jolly, Folio fell down onto the couch next to him with a heavy thump while popping open a can of red bull. "She like's you, Noah. Trust me."

"Really? Because with how the conversation went, I think differently. It's clear who she would rather be with."

"You're not seeing it through her lense. Do you not remember how you were with-."

My eyes sliced into Nick as he tried to bring up my ex, again. "Don't."

He shook his head and stood straighter. "No, you're not going to get out of this conversation. I'm tired of you ignoring this. Julie fucked you up, but you needed time to grow from it and move forward. You need to let Y/N realize that and do it."

“I’ve seen you through everything after Julie," Nick continued. "We've known each other since we were twelve years old, trust me when I say this; Y/N's seeing things from a distance right now. She’s afraid she’s going to lose everything, he’s got her fucking trapped in that way of thinking."

Jolly agreed. "All it's going to take is one more slip, and Y/N's gonna see it. Trey is one more vodka red bull away from being fired."

I snorted while resting my hand on my hips. "I doubt that. Trey thinks he's the heart and soul of that band. There's no way he's going to get fired."

"Have our hunches ever been wrong?" Nick sighed. "Look, I think we all knew that there was something there, even before you met her. You were always so drawn to her music, then you met her and I’ve seen you smile; actually smile, Noah. I haven’t seen you smile like that in years. I think I can speak for us when I say; you’re not alone. She loves you too."

He shrugged as if mine and Y/N's feelings for each other were that simple.

I fell into the couch behind me with an almost defeated groan. "I don't know, guys. It feels pretty one sided right now."

"Just give it time," Folio smiled. "It might not be an easy road but we all see it; even Malcolm and Chase. Trey see's it too that's why he's acting like this. He knows Y/N's slipping from his grasp."

"Fuck him," I grumbled while leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Noah," Jolly's soft voice eased the growing tension.

I hummed in response, not bothering to look at him.

"Did you kiss her?"

My head snapped up at his question, heart hammering heart in my chest when I remember it; the memory never left if I was being honest.

"Yea," I sighed, not bothering to lie.

They all knew, it was clear on the unsurprised looks on their faces, but Nick's shoulders fell slightly. "You're really in deep."

I clasped my hands together as my arms rested on my thighs. "I know."

READER

Noah brushed past me, his anger radiating through me in waves, as the tears fell from my eyes to the ground below. My mind was swirling with so many words, I couldn't focus on what hurt the most.

"Trey cheated on you."

"No, I get it loud and fucking clear, Y/N! You're so afraid of how you feel for me, for us, that you're staying with something familiar even though he treats you like shit!"

"I don't deserve this," I wiped away the tears and turned slowly on my feet to head back to the bus but halted.

Did I really want to go there knowing that's where Trey was? What would I do? Confront him or ignore it like I did everything else?

Instead of walking towards my bus, I turned to take a few steps when I realized I was walking towards Bad Omens bus almost out of habit. I peered up through the windows to see Noah pacing while talking with his hands, no doubt telling the guys about what happened. For a moment, I forgot about the last hour of my birthday and remembered all the great things everyone put together for me today.

Even through the clear anger on his face, Noah looked ethereal in the low light of the bus. Out of everything he said tonight, the one thing I believed to be true was my feelings about him. I knew early on that I felt more than a normal friendship with him but it scared me to death.

There were these chemicals that passed between us when we kissed and it made us cling to one another. It blinded me for a little while to all the bad in my life until it came crashing down light a fit of rain. Noah was a miracle, and although I wasn't spiritual, he'd been this glimpse of bliss, a taste of heaven that my body desperately needed; my soul desired.

Now you fucked it up because you believed Trey over him.

I forced the negative thoughts out of my head and peered down to the still healing tattoo on my ankle before those imaginary walls built up inside of me, just like they were weeks ago when tour first started. Veering away from the busses, I walked to behind the venue as the physical pain in my heart cut off the oxygen in my lungs. I was gasping for breath, tears burning in my eyes, and I reached out a hand to grasp the brick of the building.

"Y/N!"

Malcolm's frantic voice called from behind; or in front? No, from the side?

Everything around me became hazy, fading to darkness as it gripped itself around my throat squeezing the life from me.

"Y/N," his soft hands on my face brought me back from the void as I stared up at his emerald eyes; filled with concern.

I pushed his hands away. "Leave me alone, Malcolm."

"Stop," he demanded as I tried to walk away, his large frame standing in front of me again. "What the fuck happened?"

"It's none of your business," I gritted out through clenched teeth.

I wasn't irritated with Malcolm, more so myself for being a fucking idiot.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that. It's me!" He grabbed my shoulders and gently shook me. "What did you do? I ran into Folio and he told me you and Noah got into a fight."

"Malcolm," my breath wavered as I averted my gaze to my dirty vans.

"Why are you pushing him away, Y/N? Noah cares about you, he would like about something like this."

I swallowed thickly. "Because-shit. I can't get upset about Trey cheating because I'm no better than he is."

I expected Malcolm to rear back in shock or scold me but he didn't. Instead, a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

"Chase and I had a bet to see who would tell us about the kiss first. I'm shocked you kept it a secret this long," he smirked.

"How did you know?" I asked dumbfounded.

He shrugged. "Ever since you two came back from Keaton's funeral, you've been happier; brighter. And every time I would watch you, you'd be looking at Noah's lips with a dumb grin on your face."

I playfully smacked his chest which caused him to break out in laugher; one I shared with him. It felt good to get that off of my shoulders.

"Honestly, Y/N,' Malcolm turned serious. "Why are you even with Trey? You know you don't deserve to be treated like this."

"You know why," I stared at him, all the words I couldn't say being held in my gaze.

“Sweets," his old nickname for me was something I hand't expected, and it was enough to break down those walls. "Come on, this band is you. It’s you. They come to see you. We’re in the band with this prick for you. You’re not gonna lose us, Y/N. As for Noah, he’s a good guy. Don’t spin the wheel on him and make him the bad guy when he isn’t.”

I choked out a sob as I wrapped my arms around myself. “I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know. I don’t love Trey, Malcom, I don’t. How can I face Noah now? Everything is so messed up."

Malcolm's arms pulled me into him and I melted, the familiarity of his scent and warmth was exactly what I needed to breathe a little easier. Both him and Chase had been brothers to me the last handful of years, they knew what I needed before I knew myself.

"It’ll get resolved, sweets. It will." His hand smoothed away the hair from my face. "Just give it time, you and him will make amends and either be friends or go about doing whatever you want to do. But, make a choice. Don’t lead him on and don’t punish yourself for the sins of Trey."

"You're right," I sniffled and wiped the snot on the back of my hand.

"Course I am," he now ruffled the hair he just finished smoothing down.

"You've been hanging with Jolly and Noah too much, I think," I giggled while pulling away from him. "You're such a philosopher now."

He wrapped an arm around me and began leading me back to the busses, much to my dismay, but I knew I couldn't avoid Trey forever. I needed to face this head on.

"I hope you had a good birthday before everything went to shit," Malcolm frowned.

"I did," I nodded. "I'm glad you guys told the Bad Omens guys about it. Means a lot."

As Malcolm rambled on about how Chase and him were talking about getting a bigger flat in Los Angeles once tour was over, I kept replaying the words he spoke to me, humming a tune along with him.

Just give it time.. hmm hmmm. And if you and- him, no. And if you and I- hmmmm.

NOAH

Three days. Three fucking days since I last talked to Y/N, and I was going insane. She wanted space to think about everything and space was exactly what she got. Trey did a great job at keeping her on the bus when they weren't doing soundcheck or playing a show. My phone burned in my hand every time I tried to text her but ended up backing out.

She needed space; I reminded myself but that didn't stop me from what I did last night during our set. Her, Malcolm, and Chase were watching us from side stage and when I felt her dead eyes staring at my back, I looked over my shoulder at her; the words from my song tangling between the webbed connection that was growing stronger every day that passed.

"We're just two wrong souls that met at the wrong time. So just go your way, and I'll go mine. You'll be alone with someone new until the day that you die and I'll watch from afar to make sure you're alright."

Y/N rubbed her elbows and turned her back to me, leaving my line of sight.

I expected her to text me after that but she didn't. Chase reassured me she was fine and told me not to worry, she would come around eventually.

The darkness that filled her usually bright eyes was the only thing that stared back at me now as I hung out in the green room, hours before our show. I was talking with Jolly when her soft voice carried into the room, broken reflection staring behind me in the mirror I was standing in front of.

All I saw in those dark eyes was someone who was heartbroken, in love with the idea of who she thought Trey was, that she didn't realize there was a heartbeat standing in front of her, beating and bleeding for only her.

"Shit, I was looking for Trey." She muttered while clutching her sweater close to her chest.

Not only was she spending more time with him, Y/N was back to wearing clothes that hid herself from the world. Anger filled my veins as I kept my eyes on her reflection in the mirror, blowing out a deep breath.

"I don't know why you thought he'd be in here," I said flatly.

Jolly gave me a look of disapproval before shaking his head. "Have you checked the bus?"

Y/N turned towards him. "Uh, yeah. Sorry for bothering you guys."

"You're fine, Y/N," Jolly's soft voice stopped her from leaving the room prematurely. "You're never bothering us, alright? We're here for whatever you need."

"I know you are but," She nodded towards me. "I'd say Noah thinks differently."

"You really want to know what I think?" I spun on my heels to face her.

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm not getting into this with you, Noah. I've been through a lot of shit the last few days, the last thing I need is your dissapointed sighs every time I walk into the room or the way you tell me how you really feel through your lyrics."

"How I really feel?" I scoffed while running a hand over my jaw. "You know how I feel, angel. But you walked away."

"I didn't have a choice, Noah! Trey's my boyfriend!" She snapped.

Gone was any sympathy I felt for the situation. In this moment, all I felt was rage.

"He's cheating on you!" I threw a hand out towards the door of the room. "Where do you think he goes every time he disappears? Surely not getting drunk all the time. If he is, it's with someone sucking his dick, probably."

Y/N's hands shook at her sides. "Fuck you."

"Why are you so hell bent on believing he's the only one for you?" I demanded taking a step towards her.

Jolly, who was still in the room, watched us with careful eyes. He knew we needed to hash things out but still wanted to make sure nothing went too far.

"I have too!" She seethed while pushing me away. "Trey's not as bad as you guys think, okay? He's the one that gave me a place in this band; He believed in me so I have to believe him."

"Do you love him?" I questioned while grasping her hand as it remained on my chest.

She blinked, and for a long moment, said nothing as she thought of her answer. But I never got the answer because Matt poked his head into the room.

"What the fuck, guys! I've been looking everywhere for you. We have this interview with a reporter in two minutes."

"I need a minute," I quipped towards Matt but kept my eyes sternly on Y/N's face.

He went to protest but Y/N slipped away from me, creating more distance.

"No, he doesn't. I'm done with this conversation."

"Angel." I went to reach for her hand but she recoiled back as if I burned her.

"Just stop, okay? I already made my decision. I don't give a fuck if you don't like it but it wasn't your choice. Whatever you wanted to have with me, Noah; it's not going to happen. I'm with Trey because he understands. He knows me; you don't."

She was out of the room before I could digest her words completely.

READER

Everything is so fucked.

I sat on my bunk with my knees pulled to my chest, forehead resting on them, as the tears continued to fall onto the blanket beneath me. My body felt drained of any light or energy from how much I cried the last few days that I wasn't sure how I'd be able to perform tonight. There was only three shows left on tour, maybe fans would understand if we canceled them? Have Ethan post something on social media letting them I didn't feel well and needed the time to recoup?

Right, they'd probably burn our merch because I didn't come out myself and say this.

Wiping the snot and tears on the sleeve of my sweater, I went to tuck myself under the blanket when I heard some commotion from the front area of the bus.

"You sure we're alone?" A quiet but feminine voice spoke.

"Yea, she's probably groveling for that kid's forgiveness right now. Bitch is so obsessed with him, I'm supposed he hasn't kicked her to the curb yet."

Trey.

My heart sank as I sat up a little straighter in my bunk, careful not to make a sound.

"Why are you still with her then? She seems to hold you back from achieving greatness."

Trey snorted. "She's nothing without me, babe. I'm the one that gave her everything she has and she knows it. All Y/N's good for in a hole to stick my dick in but even then all she did was bitch about how much it hurt or wasn't feeling good enough for her. Surprised I even continued to fuck her after she bled on my dick."

My jaw went slack as my heart broke into tiny little pieces, falling into the pits of my stomach.

How could he? Trey knew about my condition, he was there when I got the diagnosis all those years ago and needed a shoulder to cry on. And the bleeding was only because the pain was too much for me. I knew I should have stopped him but I remember biting my cheek, hoping it would subside. Eventually it did, but I didn't know bleeding during sex was a side effect with this condition.

"Thank fuck I wore a condom with her every time," Trey grumbled.

"Well," the women's voice turned sultry. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I can be whatever you want me to be tonight. I'm just so thankful you found me waiting in line for the show tonight. I wished for this."

"You sure you don't want one of those kids from Bad Omens? Their vocalist has a thing for stealing what's mine."

"Oh, please. Noah Sebastian? He's a talentless slender man. I can't believe you guys are touring with them. They're clearly riding your coattails to fame because Noah know's he'll never be the man you are."

Okay, that's it.

Ripping the curtain open, I stormed into the front section of the bus just in time to see Trey forcing his tongue down this girl's throat. I stumbled over my words when I noticed how young she was; she had to be twenty years old.

Ten years younger than Trey.

"What the fuck," I spat.

They both broke apart and while the girl looked shocked as hell seeing me, Trey narrowed his eyes at me.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

It took me a few moments to gain my barrings before I finally snapped my gaze towards the young girl. "How old are you? Don't even think about giving me a bullshit answer. I have people that can find out who you are in a matter of minutes."

She shifted on her feet. "Seventeen."

Fuck-make that thirteen years younger than Trey.

"Oh my Hades," I pinched my eyes shut while taking a deep breath.

"Y/N, baby. She was only asking for a picture," Trey tried to explain.

"Of what, your dick?" I snapped.

"Atleast I'm giving him something," the girl crossed her arms over her chest while popping a hip out to look tough.

"Really," I raised a brow. "You have two seconds to get off this bus before security hauls your ass out of here in cuffs with everyone watching that."

She huffed. "I'm not afraid of some security guards."

I hummed while pulling out my phone to take a quick picture of her and Trey's arm wrapped around her neck.

"But I bet your afraid of your parents finding out that you're sneaking onto tour busses with men ten years older."

The girl paled. "You don't know my name, how would my parents find out?"

"No, I may not know your name but social media is a powerful thing," I shook my phone. "All I have to do is post it on my Instagram and one of my half a million followers know you."

"Y/N-," Trey warned.

"Oh you know what," I snapped my fingers. "I bet you follow Trey. Won't be hard to find a blonde."

I made a mock show of scrolling through my phone and continued to ramble on. "Here I thought I was Trey's type; brunette and older. Apparently I was wrong."

"Are you done with your jokes?" Trey groaned while running a hand through his curls.

"Oh, here you are!" I ignored him by holding up my phone in mock victory. My eyes bounced between my phone and the girl. "Your picture doesn't do you justice."

"Wait!" She yelled with her hands out towards me. "Please don't! I'll leave and forget this ever happened."

I smirked while motioning towards the bus. "Let the door hit ya on the way out."

Once alone, I snapped all of my hatred and anger towards Trey. "You're fucking unbelievable! She's a child you disgusting piece of shit!"

"More experienced than you," Trey shrugged.

I blinked, appalled in so many ways. "Why the hell did you even stay with me then, Trey?" I asked.

"A good hole when I couldn't find what I needed."

God, why did I ever think he loved me?

"You're a real asshole," I shook my head. "I can't believe I took your side over his."

That angered him because Trey tossed his jacket off onto the couch before pointing over my shoulder. "You want to talk about me? Lets look what's inside your suitcase."

Storming passed me, he ripped my private suitcase from an empty bunk and tossed the contents all over the floor at my feet. The three gifts Noah has bought be over the last few weeks standing out like a sore thumb.

Trey snatched up the bracelet and necklace. "You wanna talk about me? What the fuck is this?”

“It’s just a bracelet and a necklace. Trey, don’t even say it’s the same." I rolled my eyes, not seeing it the way he was.

"Bullshit," he spat at my feet. "You had no problem fucking keeping it did you? Is this from him?!"

When I didn't answer, he lost it and tossed the jewelry across the bus, his loud voice carrying through the open windows of the bus.

"It is, isn’t it? You had no problem fucking accepting it did you?”

I stood tall against him, this time not backing down as Trey picked up the wolf stuffed animal Noah bought me from the outing at the zoo. "What the fuck is this? Are you ten? You need to sleep with a stuffed animal?"

I choked on a breath when he tossed it out of the window.

"You're not going to turn this on me! You sick fuck!"

“No, I think we will. I’ve known for years you couldn’t hack it. You can act innocent like you haven’t been falling for this other guy this whole fucking time! That arrogant fucking prick thinks his little bring me dupe band is gonna make it."

Trey punched the wall next to him, causing me to jump slightly. "Shit-fuck them and fuck him."

“How dare you!" I pointed a finger at him. "They work fucking hard, harder than you ever have, Trey. Fuck, you're a piece of shit. I can’t believe I've ever cared for you.”

“Fucking ditto baby," Trey chuckled darkly. "You think he’s gonna fall in love with you and magically make your problems go away?"

My hands clenched into fists at my side. "I never said that but-."

"Do you really think this dude is going to want to waste thousands of dollars on implanting something that should fucking work? Christ, that has to be embarrassing for you; go ahead and tell him. I'd love to see if he stays with you."

He paused for a long moment and I was livid, anger pulsing through me he went that low.

Trey took a step towards me, almost getting in my face as his voice dropped. "Noah doesn’t know how fucking broken you are and I bet with all the money in the world, you can't magically fix this."

He motioned towards my body with a limp finger.

"Fuck you, Trey!" I pushed him away from me with all my strength. "Let me clear this up for you and don’t stop me if I talk too fast. It’s my life not yours! And it’s my heart; my soul! It isn’t yours anymore! You’re self destructive so maybe we’re even."

"Remember, baby, I found you when you were nothing, I tried to make you something! Turn you into a star-but now look at you, a fucking bitch on a leash and for who? Him. He just wants to pump and dump ya baby, like so many others."

The sound of skin on skin echoed out of the open windows as I slapped tray across the face, his eyes burning daggers into the ground.

"I fucking hate you. I can't believe I wasted years on someone like you! You fucked me up so bad, how can I ever love someone else without thinking their cheating on me? I'll spend my entire life wondering if I'm good enough for anyone else, does that make you feel good? Knowing that I'm fucked up."

Trye sneered while snapping his head up towards me. "I'll sleep like a fucking baby; something you'll never have."

Another slap followed by another. He took a step towards me while raising his fist and as I prepared myself for the impact, feet pounding on the ground were my saving grace.

"Mother fucker!"

Chase tackled Trey into the wall behind them, forcing his forearm into Trey's neck, cutting off his oxygen. Malcolm was at my side, eyes scanning over me for any injuries; physically there were none but emotionally, I was cut up from the inside out.

Ethan, our manager, must have heard the commotion as well, because he was now standing on the other side of me, eyeing Trey with a questionable gaze.

"Chase, let him go," Ethan spoke slow.

It only made Chase tighten his grip on Trey's throat. "Piece of shit deserves this. He was about to hit, Y/N."

"Deserves. It," Trey choked out with a sickly smile.

I turned away from him, tears falling from my eyes suddenly as the sobs attacked me with such force I fell into Malcolm's arms. Ethan stepped up to Chase and left a gentle hand on his back.

"I can't kick him out unless he's free to leave, Chase."

Trey's eyes widened with either the loss of oxygen or what Ethan said. "You can't."

"We did," Malcolm spoke while rubbing my back. "It's already been decided."

“Hollow souls is my band!” Trey finally got the upper hand over Chase and pushed him away.

When Chase went back to choke him out, I desperately reached for his arm to pull him close to me. I was a distraught mess, and I needed them.

"Three to one motherfucker, you’re out!" Chase held his head high.

Ethan stepped between us while motioning to Trey. "Get your shit packed up, there's a cab already waiting for you."

NOAH

"Do you guys hear that?" Folio said while leaning over his bunk so he could look at me upside down. "It sounds like someones fighting."

I shrugged while pulling out one of my headphones, pausing my music. "Maybe Jolly's watching a movie too loud again?"

"Nope," Jolly leaned down in front of my bunk. "It's coming from Hollow Souls bus."

Scrambling out of my bunk, I pushed passed Jolly to run out of the bus in time to see Trey loading his bags into the back of a cab. As if he could sense me, he threw a dark laugh my way.

"Hey prick! Are you happy now?"

I shrugged with one hand in my worn out blue and white star shorts while the other hand threw up the peace sign and turned my back to him to leave. I made it all of two steps before Trey's voice called behind me.

“I don’t know what the fuck you see in her, anyway!”

That made me turn swiftly on my heels to flip him off. "Every thing you didn’t."

Once the cab drove off, I turned towards Hollow Souls but to see Y/N standing on the last step. Her eyes were red and puffy, hair a disheveled mess from her running her hands through it as some strands stuck to her face because of the tears.

Fuck, I was supposed to be made at her because of our fight earlier but seeing how broken she looked made me want to wrap my arms around her.

"Noah," she choked on my name through sobs. "I-I'm-."

Stay strong. You can't fold because a pretty girl is crying in front of you.

But-.

No buts. She told you whatever you wanted to happen, wasn't going to. She doesn't love you.

"Noah, can we talk," her bottom lip wobbled. "Please."

I shrugged with my hands still deep into my pockets. "Seems like you said everything you needed to say."

As much as my heart was screaming for me to go back, I kept walking towards my bus knowing that I had to get ready; Bad Omens set was starting in less than an hour.

NOAH

"Thanks Seattle! We hope you stick around for Hollow Souls! They're bound to put on a killer show!"

With a final wave towards the crowd, me and the guys ran off the stage just in time to see Malcolm and Chase looking frantic.

"What's wrong with you two?" Folio questioned while wrapping a bandaid around his pinky.

He went a little too hard on the drums tonight and somehow ended up slicing his pinky pretty good.

We all knew that Hollow Souls was panicking since kicking out Trey because not only did they lose their screamer but also their guitar player. He deserved to be fired, and it was a long time coming but now that the venom has cleared from the bands veins, they realized how fucked they were. While we were on stage tonight, I could see Ethan running around with his phone pressed to his ear, trying to figure out replacements.

"We can't find Y/N," Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head.

I nearly dropped the water bottle I was drinking as my stomach dropped out of my ass, heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "What?"

Malcolm ran a hand over his face. "She spun out, man. After you brushed her off earlier, she took off saying she needed some space. She left her phone on the bus and hasn't come back. Chase spent the last hour looking for her. We don't know where she is and we still have to decide what we're going to do about the last few shows."

Jolly squeezed Malcolm's shoulder. "It'll be alright. We'll go look for her."

"No," I shook my head. "You guys stay here, I'll go find her. In the meantime, your guitar tech knows all your songs, right?"

Chase nodded. "Yes, but how does that help for the screams?"

"Nick, have your phone by you so I can call you when I find her," I said, already working my mind on places she could be.

I pointed to Folio next. "You and Jolly head back out on stage to throw out some sticks or guitar picks. Anything to distract the crowd."

Before the doubt could stop me, I barreled through the back door of the venue, the cool air brushing over my heated skin as I looked to the left then to the right.

Where are you, angel?

Suddenly, I remembered something from one of her old live streams she did last year. A fan asked her where she liked to go when she needed time to think.

"Oh, thats easy," she answered with zero hesitation. "The rooftop of the venue were playing or the rooftop of my apartment. I love looking out at the vastness of the city almost like I'm Zeus staring down at all the other demi Gods."

My feet traveled faster than my brain did as I ran around back, quickly finding the ladder that lead to the rooftop. I climbed with ease and reached the top in a matter of seconds, eyes scanning for the long hair that I dreamed of.

There.

Sitting on the ledge with her head in her hands was Y/N, body shaking with sobs. I approached slowly, not wanting to scare her.

"Angel."

She hastily rose to her feet while wiping away the tears. "Noah? How'd you find me?"

"I remembered you said you enjoyed sitting on rooftops; almost like you're Zeus."

Through the tears and pain etched in her face, the briefest of smiles poked through until she remembered everything that happened a few hours ago. Even through the mess of make up, knotted hair, and blotchy skin, I wanted to grab her face to crash my lips to hers.

"I was an idiot," she sobbed. "I should have believed you about Trey but I was so blinded by the lies he spewed. Everything was a lie. He never loved me and I knew I never loved him."

As much as I wanted to talk, I decided it would be best if I stayed quiet so she could let everything out.

"He was the venom inside of me, draining me of my light and soul. I let him do that; let him change who I was. God, I'm so stupid!" She covered her face with shaking hands. "I can't believe I believed him over you!"

"Angel," I said again in a soft voice.

She either didn't hear me or didn't bother to stop. "You know, deep down I knew he was cheating. Where the fuck does he disappear to all the time? But I stayed with him because I thought no one would want me with what's wrong. I'm broken, every part of me unfixable, and Trey made me think no one would want to spend the money or time."

Y/N kept rambling on, not letting me get a word in, so instead I pulled her into my embrace, hand resting on her back while she buried her face into my shirt, gripping ti with all her might.

"I'm so sorry. I should have believed you. I'm such a fucking idiot."

I laid a soft kiss to the top of her head before tilting her chin up towards me. "You're not an idiot, angel. You said it yourself, you were blinded by who you thought Trey was."

She sniffled as I wiped the tears away. "But you never lied to me; there was no reason for you too. I said some hurtful things to you, Noah. I don't understand how you could ever forgive me for that?"

"Water under the bridge," I shrugged with a light chuckle, hoping it would ease the mood.

It didn't.

"I don't want to lose you, Noah. I can't lose you." She sobbed again.

I cupped her face this time, forcing our gazes to lock. "You won't. I forgive you."

"Wh-what?" She stammered.

"I forgive you, angel."

Earlier this afternoon, I hadn't planned on forgiving her this soon. But I suppose one step of my maturity is how seamless it was to accept the apology. Usually, I'd sit there, let the person ramble some bullshit I knew wasn't true. However, now, I sat up straight when I looked into those eyes, those eyes I felt deep in my gut weren't lying. She truly has been conditioned, like some kind of Stockholm Syndrome and I understood all too well what that was like. I lived that for years-desolate.

Seeing Y/N crying, broken, and afraid of losing me for the choices someone else made, I decided I would not be a boy. I was a man, a grown man, one of little words when I couldn't stop overthinking. However, I decided that communication was key; it's what gotten the band this far.

I was going to be a man, a man she deserved to have in her life; no matter what it cost me.

"You do?" Y/N peered up at me through lashes. "You don't, I don't know-hate me?"

"No," I said firmly, hands still gripping her face.

Her wet eyes sparkle with the setting sun. "Not at all? I-."

"Stop, angel. Stop," I stood taller. "I will not lash out at you to get even. I'm not going to make you get on your knee's and grovel either. We had an argument, discussed the situation. You apologized, I forgave you, and we made up."

"Just liek that?" Y/N wondred.

I brushed a kiss across her forehead, breathing in her scent. "Just like that, angel. I'm not him. I see the road ahead of me and I choose to take the high one."

Her grip on my hips tighted, almost afraid I would change my mind and walk away; never in a million years could I walk away from her. We were connected so deep, our souls would fade to the earth benethe our feet if we were to lose one another.

"Well, I must confess Noah; this is all new to me. I'm letting my guard down to let you in. I've been trying to sleep at night to avoid this thing between us, whatever the hell it is. You're the one at the foot of my bed trying to keep me alive at night."

My heart damn near soar so high into my throat, I was afraid I'd choke on it.

We stayed like that for a long few moments; me rocking her softly in my arms, until reality struck causing me to switch from my embrace around her to linking our fingers together.

"Come on, you've got a room full of fans waiting for you," I tugged her along.

"Shit," she cursed. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to them what happened to Trey?"

The corner of my lips lifted in a smile. "Well, think of something."

READER

"Hey, Seattle?! How are we feeling?" I spoke into the microphone.

My throat was raw from all the crying I'd been doing that I could barley speak, let alone sing.

The crowd cheered wildly, ready to watch Hollow Souls perform. It didn't even bother them I was still dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a matching crop top sweater.

"Well, unfortunately Chase, Malcolm, and I have some news," the crowd's cheers went dead silent as I pointed to Chase on one side of me and Malcolm on the other. "As you can see, Trey isn't on the stage with us. Because of personal reasons, he's no longer apart of Hollow Souls."

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop from the streets outside. I swallowed my nerves, forcing myself to continue with what I knew I had to say next.

"So with that being said, we as a trio have decided to-."

Suddenly, loud cheers and applause reverberated in my ears as I watched Noah run onto the stage, holding up a hand in the air.

"Excited to see me again, Seattle?"

I blinked at him, confused why he was on stage again. "What are you doing?" I mouthed.

"Well, it seems like Hollow Souls need a fill in for tonight?" Noah briefly ignored me to continue speaking to the crowd.

This time the screams were so loud, I was sure some glasses broke on the bar in the back of the room.

"If it's alright with my beautiful friend here," Noah smirked at me. "I'd love to fill in. We've got your guitar tech filling in for Trey."

I then saw Mike, our tech, give me a small wave. Everything was happening so fast, I barley had time to register Malcolm stole the microphone from me. "Yes, Noah I accept. We would love your help for tonight."

As he walked past me to prepare himself to fill in, I placed a hand on his stomach. "Thank you."

He brought the hand from his stomach to his lips, pressing soft kisses along each knuckle. "Anything for you, angel."

Holy shit. I thought Hollow Souls sounded amazing with Trey but I was wrong; so fucking wrong. Noah was something I never thought I needed; personally and professionally. They way we sang together, the energy palpable. It was nothing like I ever experienced with Trey. The way Noah and I connected with our vocal ranges, hell even our fucking souls were connected that much I knew. But as Noah screamed out hte last line of our final song, I swallowed hard when those scary, unknown feelings hit me.

I love him.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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idcallmyselfhuman · 8 months

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XiaoAether Masterlist 👹⛅

Edit: version 2.0 here

Or, every XiaoAether moment that I can remember (and an attempt to organize them)

Starting this off with the one scene that made us all go "wait a fucking minute" at the very start of the game,

Battle of Osial

Aether's feet were already steadied. Xiao could've let go, or let him fall as gracefully as Mountain Shaper did to that guard (I would've hated him forever) but considering that he insists that being near mortals is such a biiiig no-no, he could have, but he didn't. No, even more, he fucking tightened his hold.

Teyvat Food Notes (Sweet Dream, Adeptus' Temptation and Satisfying Salad)

Next! The promotionals during Xiao's release as a playable character. Specifically, Teyvat Food Notes. To celebrate his release, they made an Almond Tofu + Sweet Dream Food blog.

Note: Both google translate and Papago seem to use Mandrill instead of Xiao, so... just know that's who it's talking about.

This is where we learn that Xiao didn't even make "Sweet Dream"; this dish was Aether's thank you gift to him. Xiao's specialty dish is a gift from Aether. I'm- agh. ANYWAY.

We actually also see Sweet Dream in Childe's birthday art. And I'm really sorry to Tartaglia but seeing it stole all his thunder. I could not get over it.

I like to think Aether was so busy making Childe food that he absentmindedly started preparing Almond Tofu in the way he's used to (because of how often Xiao requests it :'> ).

Just when I thought that was it for the Teyvat Food Notes and I could've moved on, I found this in the Adeptus' Temptation food note; the one they made for the first Lantern Rite.

Note: "Fairy/Buddha Jump over the Wall" is apparently an actual Chinese delicacy that the Adeptus' Temptation is based on!

I found this part really cute, especially right now because of the poetry event. Since the beginning, Aether's always known that Xiao was capable of being poetic, it just took them being close and his encouragement for Xiao to actually make a poem.

Lastly, Aether's Satisfying Salad. This isn't connected to the food blog this time (since that one's for Mona), but rather, this and Almond Tofu are the first dishes Aether has ever given Xiao in the game. I included this despite it being pretty minor because in Moonlight Merriment, Smiley Yanxiao actually brings this up again.

Smiley Yanxiao: The boss told me to take care of him, but this guy, let me tell you - he is one tough nut to crack. He usually turns his nose up at everything that isn't Almond Tofu.

Xiao willingly ate something that wasn't Almond Tofu because... because what, it was given to him by a cute blonde traveler? The jury's still out on that one.

Lantern Rite 1.3, Baizhu Story Quest

I'm sure we're already familiar with this scene, right?

The very first time Xiao promised Aether that no matter what, as long as he calls his name, he'll be there. Right after that was Moonlight Merriment, where the game literally specifies that Xiao made that promise just for Aether. Way to make your commitment subtle.

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Ah, Xiao, you're so easy... Of course, this wouldn't be the last time that Aether calls for him and Xiao arrives immediately. This also happened during Baizhu's story quest to, yet again, the astonishment of everyone around excluding these two. (Xiao's dedication is one of a kind)

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Xiao worries over Aether often, despite knowing that they're both formidable in their own right. I also think it's sweet how every time they meet, Xiao's departing words are always a reminder to call for him whenever needed, to the point where there are times that Aether just goes "Yeah, we know." before he can even finish the sentence.

Unfortunately, though, there is one time where Xiao failed to reach Aether when he called him, but only because he physically wasn't able to.

Perilous Trail (Interlude)

The only thing that prevented this man from getting to Aether like always was being in a different plane of existence. Romeo and Juliet wish they were this romantic istfg

Aether: Come find us.

Xiao: No.

Yanfei: But Aether's in trouble!

Xiao: How do we meet?

Now where else did someone pull this tactic recently-

...Again, XIAO YOU ARE SO EASY. But anyway, back to the Chasm bc I wasn't quite done with that-

As soon as Yanfei tells Aether that Xiao is awake, Ae comes running. Just full on "stop saying you're fine i'll be the judge of that"

And he looks so angry when Xiao brings up writing a will. augguh they are sooooo- (i would put a reaction pic here if i didn't have an IMAGE LIMIT fuck tumblr bro)

To finish off the Chasm Interlude on a more serious note, this entire conversation was really touching, and I love seeing the progress these two have made over the years. Xiao letting himself open up with Aether's help year by year is one of my favorite things about this game.

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Teapot and Character Voice Lines + Birthday Letters

For the first and second Lantern Rite, Xiao was still adamant on not even stepping foot in Liyue Harbor, declining every invitation to go there because of how much he disliked being near mortals.

Yet in his teapot voicelines, once you reach a high enough friendship with him, Xiao actually takes the initiative to invite Aether to go to the city, if only to understand him better. Xiao explicitly says that his willingness to go to the harbor was for him.

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More About Xiao I: I'm willing to protect you.But don't think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret.

More About Xiao V: It's too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it. Hm? You've never thought to sever it?

About Shenhe: It seems Shenhe places a great deal of trust in you. Well, how could she not. There are few people in the world as kind and good-natured as you.

Shenhe, About Xiao: My first impression of him was that he's not one to smile. After meeting him again more recently, however, he's still as reserved as ever, but… he seems a lot more relaxed now. Maybe he… met someone special.

That line by Shenhe made me happy. Aether's effect on Xiao benefitted not only him, but the people surrounding Xiao as well. We even see that in his birthday letters, where at the most recent one, he follows Ae's advice and goes to spend time with old friends.

They're also all just insanely romantic, I feel like that goes without saying. Every year, I wonder how Genshin would possibly top the one before it that isn't just an explicit confession of undying love.

Lantern Rite '23

I'm here to remind you all of a beautiful scene that should never be forgotten for years to come.

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Regardless of Genshin trying to be mysterious and making us guess who saved Aether, the fact that they both came rushing over is incredible on its own. They know that Aether isn't a damsel in distress, and Paimon's acting was so on the nose, but they still couldn't allow even the slightest possibility of harm to come to him.

Xiao looking away and talking in circles just to say he really was worried is the funniest fucking thing.

For the Lantern Rite event itself, if you've read this far in, you're probably already familiar. I really wish there wasn't an image limit because I have so many screenshots I want to put in here. If you want a refresher, watch this and start around the 2-hour mark

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I wanted to put my own video in the post but you can only put one :/// I'm fist fighting whoever put these limits. 1 video file and 30 images? who are you

BACK TO THE TOPIC

There really isn't much I could say that I haven't already said before. For XiaoAether shippers, this was hoyo spoonfeeding content on a silver spoon. It's Aether and Xiao at their most comfortable with each other, talking and spending time with the people they care about. It's Aether fulfilling his end of the bargain of bailing Xiao out of uncomfortable social situations, because if you haven't noticed throughout all of these examples (or even outside of that), Aether is so perceptive when it comes to the comfort of the people around him.

This was also the event where we find out that for Xiao, the most distinguished guest in his eyes was Aether (Even though Ae thought he was going to say Zhongli..)

I have a lot of love for this event. But since this isn't just a lantern rite post, I'll move on.

Waterborne Poetry

The catalyst for this post. The reminder of how lovely this ship is, and how far these two have come.

As we have all learned from Xiangling, Yanfei, Venti and Hu Tao, you only need to mention Aether's name to convince Xiao of whatever it is you're planning. The part where Aether and Team Chongyun were trying to convince him to come with them and touch some fucking grass was really cute.

This event and the previous Lantern Rite also had Aether and Xiao talking privately, only to get interrupted by Paimon/Xiangling (as well as calling them out lmao)

And, of course, the scene that everyone freaked out over,

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This. I don't think I'll ever get over this.

The fact that they had Zach voice this- A short, but sweet moment where Aether looks at Xiao from afar and immediately gets inspired, performing a poem where the real meaning is shared only between the two of them...

And Xiao's smile.

An expression that Aether had done so well to bring out.

2023 was the year of XiaoAether. Thank you, Hoyo.

Done! I HAVE SO MANY SCREENSHOTS AND I COULDN'T EVEN USE MOST OF THEM ToT. I actually had clips that I edited but Tumblr said no. Good thing there's YouTube.

Another reason as to why I made this was because some shippers said that XiaoAe didn't make sense because it lacked depth and I was so affronted by it that I did all this out of spite (and love for these characters. mostly love.)

#Youtube #genshin impact #genshitpost #genshin impact aether #genshin impact xiao #xiaoaether #xiaother #xiao x aether

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alaydabug2 · 15 days

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@myfairkatiecat Ik I said I didn't post on tumblr....BUT I DO NOW

Ok so to go more in depth of the theory about Keefe's mind shattering

Here you can see the different ways people can shatter

"But some turn erratic and reckless."

SHANNON

Who does that sound like to you

Furthermore, Keefe didn't really start becoming reckless until he found out about his mom

Yeah sure he ditched class and was a trouble maker, but he never really did anything to crazy until his mom

In neverseen alone he covered his room in paper scraps, took fathomlethes (which I believe are an elf version of drugs, but that's for another time to deep dive), tried to run off to ravagog on his own, and ran away to the neverseen

That's not even a book finding out about his mother

I also believe that his minds is slowly shattering bit by bit like Alden and has come extremely close several times

Also in neverseen when he had to be sedated for 24 hours because he was in shock and kept replaying the recovered memory over and over, when in legacy his mom got away and he was shaking and yelling

There's probably more too but I can't think of it rn

I also think what will be the last straw

I think he actually killed Ethan Benedict Wright II and his daughter (sorry if the next bit sounds weird this was copy and pasted from my YouTube 😭)

Ok so

Keefe has been going numb in stellarlune

We're all aware of that

He's not acting himself

Going numb

Abilities not working

Just overall worrying behavior

AND Shannon said some major information is going to be unveiled in unraveled

Well Well Well

I've come up with something

What if Keefe DID actually kill Ethan and his daughter

Hear me out

Shannon said that she was going to try and fit the information in unraveled into stellarlune

But it didn't work out

Then in try for book 10

But didnt fit

Well in stellarlune we know the 2 humans WERE actually brought up

Could that have been Shannon trying to write in the information about them but didn't work?

But you're probably wondering how this means Keefe killed them

Stick with me

Almost there

Keefes memory of him delivering the letter was SHATTERED

Not washed

Shattered

That was the only memory (as of known so far) to be shattered

The rest got washed

Why go out of your way to shatter THAT specific memory when the others were washed

Like the one with Gisela was on the roof with Alvar

That wasn't anything he needed to remember later

But why treat it different

Also

Gisela was talking like Keefe had something to do with their death

(Could've been manipulation tactic and it probably was but still)

Keefe had also visited their graves and asked about them

Confirmed stuff about them WILL be in unraveled

He wasn't acting himself in stellarlune

Yes he wasn't acting himself in unlocked either

And also yes he's been going numb and that absolutely will contribute to that

But idk

It just seems like there's more to it than JUST that

And THAT would definitely mess someone up

AND I'm already pretty sure his mind will shatter in book ten

So that could be the tipping point for it to do so

AND Shannon said this is game changing news

That definitely would be COMPLETELY plot changing and everything

And it would make sense why we'd need to see this revelation through his pov rather than in Sophie's just being told

Even if Keefe didn't kill them himself

But more so he had a more direct role in their murders than previously thought

So what do yall think of this

#kotlc keefe #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #kotlc theory #kotlc keefe sencen #theory

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

Note

🍏 to find later

AITA for sending my friend $100 as a wedding gift

(She used to use Tumblr but deleted her blog years ago so I feel comfortable sharing this.)

My (28 NB) best friend T (26 F) got married sometime within the last year or so. We had known each other for about 8 years at this point after meeting online and sort of dated on and off for about 4 of those years. We loved each other very much, I even flew out to meet her in person, but the distance got to be too much for her and I understood that and we still stayed close friends. We helped each other through bad breakups with toxic friends and lovers, and when she told me she met someone (G, 24 M) and things were getting super serious with him I couldn't have been happier for her.

The thing is though, G has always been jealous of how close T and I were. T had been upfront with him that I was an ex and that we've been romantically and physically involved in the past, but we had both assured him that nothing was going on between us anymore and that we had both moved on. But that didn't stop G from constantly thinking I was going to try to steal T away from him despite living half way across the country (I was on the west coast and T and G live in the south).

About 2 years ago, my family started making plans to move to around the same area they live in. Not super close but a day's trip, think LA to Vegas. I wasn't thrilled about the move but it was cheaper and my grandmother lives out here and she needed our help, so I did my best not to object too much to it. Besides, I figured this way I was closer to T and that I could finally meet G face to face, hopefully to settle this bad blood he seemed to think was between us and help him realize that I wasn't going to try to steal T away from him. Especially since by this time G had already proposed. Around this time though, T had told G that she had send me some rather revealing photos showing off some new body mods she had gotten, purely out of excitement. I hadn't asked to see them, she offered and said it should be fine, and well, turns out it wasn't. G got pissed and almost called off their wedding. They stayed together though and worked through it, and then a few months later T disappeared on me. Stopped responding to my messages, blocked my phone number, everything. I was already at a low point in my life because of the move and this made me get lower. After the move I got drunk one night and realized that T hadn't blocked me on Twitter so I ended up messaging her, and she got back to me immediately and explained that G had told her that if she didn't cut contact with me then he was going to leave her because he didn't think I had ever actually gotten over her and that I was going to try to steal her from him. I was hurt but I understood, especially since T was at a point where if G left her she'd have to go back to a very toxic living situation. I told her I still considered her my best friend, she still considered me hers, and that was the last time I talked to her.

Now, here's the part where I might be the asshole. Last November I was checking my Venmo to make sure my info was up to date and I realized that I still had T on there to send money to. Not only that, but T had changed her last name to G's, meaning that they must have gotten married by now. So, I decided to send them $100 as a late wedding gift. T is still my friend and I was happy for them, and I didn't mean anything bad by it, but for the last two months I've been worried that G would be upset and that it would have opened up years old wounds.

TLDR; My friend's new husband doesn't trust me and wanted her to stop talking to me, and in response I sent them $100 and a congratulations, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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samptlay · 3 months

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To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart ~ Info.

Blade & Reader's Relationship

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍

Being childhood best friends, they knew everything about each other and been there for all of the other's milestones.

Reader describes Blade as his soulmate and is the only person throughout the whole series who calls him "Ren."

They met in kindergarten or preschool (I forgot what I wrote for that) and the reader kept on bothering him until he acknowledged her and proved to care for her, and since then has been inseparable.

It goes deeper into detail in Chapter 2:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52453421/chapters/132797800

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/samptlay/737693316678828032/to-my-sweetheart-who-carries-a-wounded-heart-ch

Before meeting Levi, (the reader's current husband) reader would call Blade at least 4 times a week and they would go out together 2-to 3 times a week. Lots of people thought of them as a couple, but both the reader and Blade would shut down the idea.

If the two of them were honest, the attraction and romantic tension were there. There was one night that the two had made out under the influence back in high school as seniors, but the two of them both agreed to just not speak of it. (Blade thinks about it every few months.)

However, none of them had ever made a move. And this is because of the phase he went through during high school. During the beginning of their sophomore year, Blade had started to hang out with guys who thought they knew better than everyone else. Guys who thought girls were just objects made for their satisfaction. Though it didn't change the way Blade acted around the reader, he was arrogant and an overall bastard to everyone else.

A bastard with a handsome face that had ladies all over him. He started to smoke and drink (not enough for him to be an alcoholic or anything, this is what also led to the make-out sesh with the reader one night) He had dozens of girlfriends throughout those years and cheated on them all. Even when he found someone he was actually interested in, he couldn't help but give in to the temptation of other females. So in summary, he was a total player who couldn't commit himself to someone for anything.

This behavior sadly faded into his early years of adulthood. He had different girls running in and out of his apartment every few weeks.

*Switching to 2nd POV, sorry.

You always scolded him about it, worried he would catch something or end up knocking a girl up though he always insisted he played it safe. He admired you even more during those times, because you never seemed to judge him for it. However, you were off limits, out of reach.

This also happened to be around the time you and Levi got married. Blade knew he couldn't commit himself to you, so he didn't have anything to say when someone else swept you off your feet. That doesn't mean he didn't feel anything at all. He took at all the frustration of not being there for you on other women, and got into a bad drinking habit.

Not exactly an alcoholic, but still. You let Blade know you would avoid being alone with him for a long while until you completely have your partners trust to come see him alone. Though Blade understood, it still made his heart ache.

It wasn't until he lost his job in a very risky project he wasn't even supposed to be working on in his company, that he sobered up. (Something like in the game.) During this period, he only had enough savings to last him 4-5 months but it would run out quickly. You had tried to offer him help but Levi wouldn't let you, saying you were being "too nice" and on your way to "giving Blade the wrong idea.".

When I eventually got to one month of unemployment, he was at the gym trying to gather his thoughts while in his own little bubble until a man named "Elio" approached him. Apparently Blade had been watched for about a year according to him and had no idea. Elio said that he knew Blade was running out of cash and offered him a job with a salary that would have people bending backs for. The requirements of the job were tight and required his whole life to fall into Elio's hands, but Blade was desperate and broke.

He didn't have time to entertain women or get wasted. The work was definitely sketchy, and he knew all the things he weren't all legal. He's been under-cover, stolen, fought, involved in fraud and more. All of this seemed to wake him up to true adult life and look back at his past self in absolutely disgust. Of course, you were stoked and over the moon about his new found maturity and even seemed to be around more, just because you felt a lot more comfortable & secure. with this Blade.

Yet, you had no idea what caused the change and always pressed him about it, a little concerned about his choice of field since you swore that Golden Watch he had on was more than both you & his savings combined. Each & every time, he gently shut you down and avoided the topic, deciding that this would be the one wall you'd never be able to break with him. After two years, you let it go and to be honest it caused a small strain in between the two of you since you though he didn't trust you anymore, which wasn't true. He was just silenced.

But you two were still each other's favorite person. Even if you were married, Blade was your soulmate. You've texted him at least 3 times a week throughout your whole life and make sure he never feels forgotten, vice-verse.

But as of the last three years, you seemed to be getting worn down more and more, day-by-day. Each month, the amount of times you'd call him crying because of arguing with your husband increase and he swears that he would have kidnapped you himself up and out of that place long ago if you'd let him.

End of 2nd POV.

In conclusion, Blade & Reader are strictly platonic even though there is little romantic tension, it's more of a click when it comes to the two. They never judge each other for anything and if one party calls, the others is zooming over there in an instant, no matter who there partners are.

Note this, Blade has always wished him and Reader had gone out in their early highschoolers years. Then perhaps his whole life would be turned around, as well as having a ring on his own finger.

And if you weren't married as of now, he would have proposed the moment he left his past self behind. But that's not the case. So for now, he'll admire you from where he currently is.

But Reader knows he loves her. And Blade knows reader loves him too.

Taglist: @msun1c0rn @anime1fan2 @skyl8ver, @umi-adxhira, @lovingnahida @immahuman @faellell @uhfhfhfhf @ssecylia @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @markexplanation @meowmeowraven @xdrin

#hsr x reader #blade x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #fem reader #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #relationship #childhood friends

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kamaluhkhan · 1 year

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i'm not wanting anything (but your loving, your body, and a little bit of your brain)

pairing: shuri x fem!reader

summary: being an avenger doesn't leave you much time for college life (let alone a girlfriend), you and gwen stacy accidentally show up to a halloween party in a couple's costume, and shuri is determined to prove who you really belong to.

warnings: allusions to PTSD and death, mentions of alcohol and partying and smut - fingering (both shuri and reader receiving), oral (shuri receiving), thigh riding....

song inspo: "thats what i want" by lil nas x

a/n: hello!! this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr and im so nervous but very excited because shuri has been on my mind for the longest time. reader is an avenger in her senior year of college and best friends/roommates with peter parker. this is set before black panther: wakanda forever, and after endgame but some things are different (the blip was only a year, steve and tony both died in the final battle with thanos). anyways, please enjoy!!

before the blip, you had the whole work/life/superhero thing (mostly) down to a science. now, everyone was still processing the absolute mindfuck of half the universe being snapped away by a mad titan, only to be returned by a group of heroes one year later.

in the midst of it all, the girl you'd travelled across time and space for somehow ended up low on your priority list, but you found comfort in the fact that it was mutual. you were busy in new york, with college (senior year was kicking your ass) and avengers work (trying to keep the city safe with half the team gone and the others scattered across the universe was exhausting) and your internship at oscorp (basically unpaid labor, but you needed the credit to graduate). shuri spent most of her time catching up on what she missed, working on scientific and technological developments in wakanda whenever she wasn't travelling with her brother around the world for united nations or wakandan outreach reasons. there was only so much calling or texting that can be done before your relationship started to feel like an afterthought.

tonight was supposed to change all that.

harry osborn was throwing a 'halloween in january' party. shuri was in new york with t'challa, but she'd promise to keep this night free, and you promised the same. you were looking forward to being surrounded by a crowd of drunk 20-somethings, taking shots, dancing to music that was way too loud, feeling shuri next to you.

normally, you didn't dress up for the holiday - wearing a supersuit all the time kinda takes the novelty away from wearing a costume - but if halloween could be in january, you decided tonight would be the exception. you'd decided on a red lace bralette with a matching vinyl skirt, fishnet stockings, and a headband with devil horns. you didn't normally show this much skin. it was supposed to be a surprise for shuri, and the hope was that the outfit would drive her crazy. you had finished decorating your face with glitter and were about to swipe on some red liquid lipstick when the text signal rang from your phone.

shuri ♡

i won't be able to come to the party tonight - brother wants me to join him at an ambassador's dinner. i'm sorry. love you.

you knew that there had been one too many times when you had done the same to her - needing to attend to your avengers duties instead of spend time together, cancelling at the last minute on plans you were both looking forward to. you would see each other next time one of you happened to be in the same place, which started to feel less and less likely. that was just the way things were. you were fine with it. totally fine.

after you send shuri a quick no worries! i understand, you finish applying your makeup, taking one last look in the mirror, ready to party even if you didn't have your girlfriend by your side.

harry osborn was shirtless, wearing only a red and gold tie, jeans, and round glasses. you were pretty sure peter choked on spit when harry walked up to you, chest sparkling with a mixture of sweat and glitter under the disco lights.

"magic harry potter, right?" you guessed, glimpsing the lazily drawn lightning bolt on his forehead.

harry grinned and did a little spin to show off his costume. "hogwarts student by day, stripper by night," he said, voice strong over the pounding music. he gestured to your outfit, eyes lingering at the top of your bralette. "you look amazing. and you...." he looked peter up and down. "damn."

peter was wearing an earlier model of his spiderman suit. you'd told him it might not be the best costume to wear when he was still very much clinging to the whole secret identity thing. he didn't particularly care, though: apparently, he overheard a certain heir to the oscorp dynasty gush about how hot spiderman must be under the suit, and how much hotter it would be to be tied up by his webs. needless to say, by the way harry looks equally entranced by peter as peter is by him, your guess is that his eavesdropping paid off.

"come on parker, let's dance." harry didn't wait for an answer, only pushed through the crowd of people. he turned around and locked eyes with peter, a flirtatious grin on his face. you spotted a bar in the corner, and bartenders dressed up as various halloween creatures who walked around with trays of bright neon shot glasses. when a skeleton offered you some, you grabbed a few before they moved on to a trio dressed up as the powerpuff girls.

"i don't have to go if -"

"go," you interrupted, handing peter one of the drinks in your hand. "one of us should get laid tonight."

even though the flashing multicolored lights made it difficult to know for sure, you guessed that peter was blushing. you clinked glasses, downed the shots. peter kissed your cheek.

"love you!" he said before disappearing into the crowd to find his wizard with shining abs.

you smiled, and made your way to the bar. next to the bar was a table of halloween themed snacks - candy, sugar cookies in the shape of ghosts, orange cupcakes and more - so you popped a few pieces of candy corn into your mouth before ordering a drink. you took another jello shot while you waited, this one sweeter than the last and neon green. looking around the room, you were impress by how decorated it was: orange string lights, pumpkins, ghosts and bats floating from the ceiling. you wouldn't have guessed that harry osborn would be into this kind of thing, assuming that he was a trust fund kid used to parties at yacht clubs, but as "monster mash" played through the speakers, you had to admit you were pleasantly surprised.

you scanned the room to see if there was anyone you recognized. you spotted a mermaid making out with a pink power ranger; a group of fairies doing body shots; someone wearing a zombie captain america costume (steve rogers version) and another in a zombie iron man suit, both of which felt more than a little insensitive. it hadn't even been a year since they were gone, and you didn't need the reminder. you glared at the zombies from across the room, and the captain america actually noticed you, offering some sort of awkward salute, like you were a war hero. somehow, that made everything worse and the room suddenly felt suffocating and you just needed some air -

that was how you found yourself on the balcony, overlooking the manhattan skyline. there were heaters outside, thank the gods, so it wasn't too cold. you could still hear the chaos of the party from behind the glass doors, but other than that you were alone - or so you thought.

"you look hot."

you turn around to see gwen stacy in all her glory, wearing an almost perfect replica of claire danes' angel costume from romeo + juliet. the two of you were co-workers more than friends, both working at oscorp along with peter and harry, but it was comforting to see a familiar face.

"and you look amazing," you complimented.

"here, you looked like you might need this." she handed you a sugar cookie decorated with orange frosting and black sprinkles, which you gratefully accepted.

you split it in half, handing one back to gwen before devouring your own. you washed it down with the neon orange drink you'd ordered earlier, before offering a sip to gwen.

"god, is that --"

"vodka and orange crush," you explained. "apparently harry osborn likes to color coordinate his parties like he does his lab notes. at least this makes sense."

gwen laughed, angelic and carefree. "you wanna go back inside? i've always wanted to dance with the devil, and i was hoping this would be my lucky night."

you'd been around long enough to know that gwen was flirting with you and even if you were totally, completely committed and in love with a certain wakandan, you were feeling a little tipsy (probably more from sugar than alcohol, it was hard to tell), and it felt nice to be complimented, to be noticed, to be touched. so, you let gwen lead you to the dance floor, your bodies close together. you let her flirt with you, and maybe flirted a bit with her back. you let people compliment your accidental couples' costume. you weren't sure how long passed, after a while you heard your name being called over the sound of "somebody's watching me" by rockwell. ironic, you knew.

instantly, you recognized the familiar accent and lilt of her voice. you turned around to see shuri, wearing a black satin suit lined with dark burgundy, the shirt underneath long gone, revealing only a black lace bra and a gold body chain and gods she looked so fucking hot right now, it felt like your entire body was on vibrate.

"shuri!" you exclaimed, voice an octave higher than usual, a little thrown off by her sudden appearance. "um, this is gwen."

"hey! it's nice to meet you. i like your vampire costume --"

"i'm not a vampire," shuri interrupted gwen before dragging you to the bar. she leaned against the counter and ordered a whiskey, draining it in one sip before practically slamming the glass back down. "what in bast's name was that?"

"we were dancing," you explained.

"it looked like the two of you were about to rip each other's clothes off," shuri snapped. "i didn't realize that was how you danced in america."

you bristled. shuri was the one who ditched you tonight, and now she was mad at you? "it's a party. we were just having fun. you're overreacting!"

"i showed up to surprise you, but maybe you'd rather go to bed with that angel over there."

"that's bullshit."

"no, what's bullshit is me walking in on my girlfriend grinding on someone else while wearing this outfit." her eyes grazed your body dangerously, and from the clench in her jaw you could tell she had to restrain herself. "so don't pretend you need me here. it seems like there are other girls you'd like to fuck instead."

shuri ordered another drink, but before it arrived, you dragged her to the nearest bathroom. one of the zombie avengers from before - iron man - was about to enter, but you beat them to it, effectively closing and locking to door behind you. you ignored the subsequent banging on the door. harry's apartment was huge; you were sure there was at least one more bathroom, and you couldn't bring yourself to care about whether that asshole got a uti or not.

while shuri remained standing, pacing back and forth on the marble floor, you leaned against the counter, watching her.

"what the fuck was that?" you asked, arms crossed over your chest. "you walk in here accusing me of what - wanting to cheat on you? do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"you have to admit, it couldn't have looked good from where i was standing. you grinding on some blonde girl, wearing a couple's costume. don't think i didn't notice that, too."

your cheeks felt warm, knowing that shuri might have a point. "in my defense, the costumes were a coincidence and the grinding.... maybe that was less of a coincidence," you admit. you walk over to shuri, placing your hands on her cheeks to get her to finally look you in the eye. she gently pushed you away, looking down instead, but stayed in front of you. "look, i get that it probably looked like --"

"like you wanted to have gwen's babies."

you took shuri's humor as a good sign, continuing with a soft smile on your face. "please know that i'm 110% committed to you. i would never want to do anything to make you think otherwise. but...i'm not going to apologize for dancing, and having fun, because shit's been....fuck, shuri, it's been hard."

"you don't think it's been hard for me, too?" she scoffed, finally meeting your gaze. "i was gone for an entire year, and the world just moved on, and - and maybe it doesn't need me anymore. maybe you don't -- " she let the words get caught in your throat, and she broke away from your gaze once more.

oh.

what you thought was a burst of jealousy was actually...something else.

"hey." you take her chin between your thumb and your index finger, turning her head to look at you. "hey. i don't care how many dates either of us miss, how many oceans or time zones separate us, you are my person and i'm yours, okay? i will always need you." you moved to drape your arms around her neck, and she instinctively grabbed your hips, hands dangerously close to your ass. your bare torsos touched, the cool metal of her body chain brushing against you and sending shivers throughout your body.

you could tell that her eyes were slightly glazed over, and wondered if she was about to cry. your heart ached as you placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, as if to let her know: i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

she didn't say anything, but instead closed the gap between your lips. it was such a rush kissing her, after all this time. her lips tasted like whiskey, mixed with sugar from the candy you'd been eating. when you pulled apart you felt dizzy.

"shuri." you whimpered. she lowered her head to the side of your jaw, placing a kiss just below your ear before whispering:

"tell me what you need from me."

"so much," you answered. "i need you on top of me, under me, inside me."

shuri's lips ghosted yours, the hint of a smirk.

"come on, sithandwa," she taunted, letting her xhosa slip out. "you can do better than that. be specific."

"fuck," you groaned. you found yourself being pushed back against the counter, the marble cold against your bare skin. shuri didn't stop kissing you everywhere, her hands exploring your body. "i - i don't know. something, anything, everything. any time i try to get off i need to think of you, but it's never as good as the real thing. and now that you're here now...." your words trailed off into a sigh. right now, you couldn't make a reasonable argument, let alone a logical sentence, even if you tried. you just wanted to relish in the moment - to enjoy her.

you throw your head back when you feel her thumbs brush underneath the vinyl of your skirt, the slight pressure reminding you that she was here, with you, for you.

"fine, i'll decide," she said sternly. she gestured for you to sit on the counter, and you did just that. shuri adjusted her body between your thighs, spreading them wider. she shuddered seeing the red lace thong you wore, the lack of fabric covering you, and met your gaze once again, eyes darker than before. "you don't get to come if you don't stay quiet. so be quiet for me, yeah?"

you bit your lip and nodded. anything, everything. she smirked, pushed the fabric of your panties aside, and sunk two of her fingers into you, knowing you were ready for her. even after weeks, months, apart, shuri could always read your body, know what you needed, how you needed it. the answer was simple, really; like you said, it was always her, her, her.

she kissed you, harsh and messy, tongue and teeth, swallowing your moans as her fingers brought you closer and closer to your release. shuri pulled your bottom lip with her teeth before moving to suck on your collarbone, your jaw, your neck. she bit down on your skin, right at your pulse point.

"i thought - i thought you weren't a vampire," you attempted a joke, but that was a mistake. you'd let a low groan tumble from your lips. another when she let her tongue soothe over the sting from her bite.

"i don't appreciate the attitude," shuri replied, her voice steady, but the corners of her mouth, slightly upturned, threatening to turn into a smile, gave her away. she was loving this. "and, i told you to be quiet."

she removed her fingers from your cunt and promptly shoved them past your red lips. you groaned again when she kissed you roughly, the taste of you dancing across your tongues.

"we'll try one more time to see if you can follow instructions. make me come, and maybe you can finish after."

she swapped your positions and unbuttoned her pants, pulling them off along with her briefs, as you got on your knees before her.

there was a joke here about the devil worshiping an angel, but you were too focused on her. her smell, gods, her taste - it was too overwhelming, and all you wanted was more. you'd spent your whole life on your knees for shuri if you could: worshiping her body, worshiping her.

you draped one of her legs over your shoulder, giving your tongue better access. shuri tugged on your hair slightly and you moaned, sending vibrations up her body.

"bast, that's it," she groaned. you added a finger, while your tongue worked her clit. "fuck. i missed you."

you brought her to the edge, stayed with her as she came. she probably expected you to get back on your feet right away, but you stayed, adding another finger and sucking her clit. she moaned your name.

you pulled away slightly. "one more, pretty girl," you promised. "can you do that for me?" she nodded furiously, and you went back to work.

when she came once more, you kissed her ankle before releasing her leg. shuri pulled you up to your feet, sucked the taste of her off your tongue.

"i missed you, too." you pull away, breathless, heart racing. "do i get to come now?"

shuri hummed. her thumb wiped the smudged lipstick below your lip. she studied you, admired you, like you were a fucking work of art that belonged in the met, like you hadn't just fucked her through two consecutive orgasms in the bathroom at a rich kid's upper east side apartment while michael jackson's "thriller" played outside the door.

"take off your thong." you did as instructed. she pulled you towards her, and lodged a leg in between yours. your cunt brushed against the skin of her thigh, back and forth as shuri guided your hips. "i can't believe you got all dressed up like this. absolutely sinful. and these...."

her hands moved to your thighs, nails digging into the flesh and dragging across your fishnets, effectively ripping them.

"shuri!" you protested, though it sounds like a moan.

"i'll buy you more. now, are you gonna come for me?"

the sound of her voice, the feeling of her skin against your heat, the smell of the two of you intertwining, it was too much. your orgasm crashed into you, and you were grateful that shuri held you through it. you kissed her once more before removing yourself from her grasp, smoothing down your skirt and looking around for your underwear.

"where are my...."

you looked over as shuri tucked your red thong into the inner pocket of her jacket.

"i'm guessing you'll buy me replacements for those, too."

she flashed you a shit eating grin before putting on her own underwear. she then pulled up her pants, not wiping your release from her thigh. the thought of her walking around, leg sticky with you, made your pussy clench.

the sound of someone banging on the door brought you out of your post-orgasm haze.

"holy fuck! hurry up!" they shouted.

"given your costume, i would say that was an unholy fuck," shuri joked, adjusting your headband for you. you nudged her playfully, rolling your eyes.

"how about we stay for a few songs, steal some cupcakes and drinks, and then head back to my place for round two?" shuri nodded.

"perfect."

before you opened the door, you shot her one last devilish grin. "oh. and this time, i'm in charge."

the next morning, shuri woke up to an empty bed and the smell of burnt cinnamon.

you were sitting on the small window bench in the corner of your room, a tangle of purple yarn on your lap and crochet needle in your hand. even though there was frost on the window, you only wore a pair of boxers printed with the word 'sunday' and cartoon suns, and an empire state university sweatshirt.

"sithandwa? the bed would be warmer with you in it."

you turned to look at her, snuggled under your brightly colored duvet, eyes half open.

"this should help."

you walked over and wrapped a purple scarf around her neck, sitting cross-legged in front of her. shuri sat up, but kept the duvet wrapped around her. there was still glitter decorating your face from last night, and shuri reached out to brush some away.

"you made this for me?" you nodded.

"rhodey taught me how. said it would help with...." you trailed off, not wanting to go into the details of your insomnia. "anyways, t'challa mentioned at our last team meeting that you're going to vienna after this. we went there once to take down a hydra base and gods, it was freezing."

shuri kissed you, pulling you into her blanket cocoon so that you were inside as well, straddling her waist. you broke apart, and she put her hands under your shirt. you shuddered at the sudden contact, her skin cold. her thumbs rubbed circles under your breasts.

"it gets pretty cold in new york, too, doesn't it?"

"yeah, but i can just make another one," you explained, letting your finger trace the details of her face, her sharp jawline. shuri took your hands in hers.

"no, i mean....i can still wear the scarf you made me when i stay in new york."

you brightened like one of those cartoon suns. shuri staying in new york for more than a day, more than a night, hasn't happened in so long. you yearned to wake up next to her regularly, kiss over coffee and bagels, take the subway together, show her the tourist sights you yourself haven't been to since you were a kid - the statue of liberty, coney island, the works.

you stopped your daydreaming there, not wanting to get too ahead of yourself. life is busy. plans change. people leave, for a little bit or forever. it happens.

"like for another day?" you asked, clearing your throat to subdue the excitement in your stomach.

shuri shook her head. you knew it would be too good to be true.

"like for me to move to new york. to live with you."

wait, what.

"shuri. wakanda's your home just as much as new york is mine. i know this long distance thing has been tough on us, but i would never ask you to leave your home, your family."

shuri said your name softly and gently brought her palms to your cheeks.

"you're not asking. i'm offering. the dinner i had to attend last night was to convince the UN to greenlight our wakandan outreach centre in new york," she explained. "if it goes through, my brother suggested that i be the one to lead it. on site."

"and that's what you want?"

"what i want to be wherever you are. i want to be part of your routine. i want to meet your friends, skip work and spend hours in bed together. i want to be here for you - for parties and movie nights and graduation."

at that word, you put your hand up. "i'm going to stop you right there before you send me into an existential crisis."

shuri grinned. "but yes to the rest of it?"

"yes. yes, of course." you pushed her onto the bed so that you were both lying down, facing each other, your legs tangled together. "so...when is this happening?"

"probably in a month, maybe a month and a half. there are still hands to shake, contracts to sign."

"bureaucracy," you sighed. shuri giggled, and your heart fluttered at the thought that you would get to hear that sound on a regular basis in person, not just through cellphone frequencies.

"i am, however, staying for a few more days while my brother takes care of things in vienna. so you're not getting rid of me just yet."

"now that is great news." you kissed her once, then twice.

suddenly, there was a knock on your door.

shuri readjusted your position so that the length of the duvet covered both of your bodies. "come in pete!" you said once she was done.

the door opened and peter parker's face came into view, along with a plate of those ready to bake cinnamon rolls that must have been fresh out of the oven.

"there's extra if you want," he offered.

"that'd be great, thanks." you gratefully accepted the plate, swiping some icing from the edge and licking it off your finger. "what's the special occasion?"

peter cleared his throat. "no special occasion."

you glanced the hickey on his collarbone. "oh, so harry stayed over last night and you wanted to make a good impression on him. breakfast in bed, domestic husband, sort of thing."

"that's not --"

"that's exactly it!" a voice from the kitchen interrupted.

"good morning, harry!" you replied, smiling tauntingly at peter.

"harry, i don't think we've met!" shuri added. "peter has told me so much about you...."

peter groaned and flipped you both off before shutting the door.

"thanks for the cinnamon rolls!" you shouted.

there was a pause before the door opened slightly. a curt, "you're welcome," was offered before it was closed once again.

you got up to put on a record as shuri devoured a cinnamon roll.

"you know, i'm really happy you're staying for a bit because i actually need your help with some things." you ripped off a piece covered in frosting and stuffed it in your mouth.

shuri raised her eyebrow, waiting for you to explain.

"my electric toothbrush has been weird - i can't figure out, for the life of me, what is wrong with it - and i've asked peter to fix it one too many times at this point," you continued, ticking off checkboxes in your head. "i wanted to talk to you about some potential upgrades for my suit that i would love your opinion on. oh, and i'm pretty sure i also broke my vibrator." you grinned sheepishly. "i didn't even bother to ask peter about that one because we don't need to be that close."

shuri stiffled a laugh, muffled by a mouthful of cinnamon and cream cheese frosting. she swallowed. "how do you even break a vibrator?"

"i don't know!" you exclaimed. "that's where you come in."

"baby." shuri wrapped her arms around your torso. "if i'm staying around for a while, you won't need a vibrator."

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izpira-se-zlato · 2 months

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JO Paris, 22.03.24

Gig report! Compiled this morning in the car to Antwerp with help form @zadig-fate and @yoda-bor 💛 I recorded everything except Katrina (bc my camera app crashed in the middle), so I'll upload this once I'm at a place with stable wifi again :D

all my buses were delayed so I power walked to the train station. Then that train was delayed so I almost missed my Eurostar. Then my Eurostar was also delayed. "That's what I call a Deutsche Bahn special, actually." – Kris ("when your first train is late but then it's okay because the second train is also delayed")

so many people I knew in the queue. From Helsinki. From London last year. From Utrecht. 😊💛

when I grabbed my number, Jan and Nace returned to the venue (and they were so pretty in daylight and in person)

Nace said hi as they walked past 😊

their postures??? Nace has definitely worked on his posture, meanwhile Jan appears so slim and small. It's wild.

Jan and Jure returned to the venue together, looking… Pissed is too harsh a word, but frowning? So we first kinda thought they were actually pissed off. But then Nace showed up a minute later, his usual sunny self, and was immediately accosted by fans. So. I assume it was less "pissed off" and more "do not approach" (and it worked)

soundcheck was Gola and Vem da greš, which we could hear every time they opened the doors (this was my last general access gig. It's EA from here on out, baby!)

Kris and I had decided to go on the balcony and got spots right next to the sound booth, where we were joined by @thisismyobsessionnow 🫶

it was warm but the sound was really good (duh)

also we had nice cushy seats like the old people we are 😂

first opener was a duo of brothers made up of discount Jure and Käärijä if he was French. Discount!Jure had a nice chest (Jure at home)

their music was eh, the lyrics cringe

Kris says they spoke french but I spent most of their set on tumblr/discord so I wasn't listening, but it was a Choice since pretty much none from the EA crowd spoke French

speaking of EA, there were allegedly 60 EA tickets though I saw numbers up to 62 (500 people venue)

JC Stewart was fun

he was told he looked French prime minister. He got confused by president vs prime minister but he also got kinda flustered. He was shown a pic and was "oh yeah, I see it"

we got Katrina opener

Nace. Jfc.

the venue was super hot so I tried to appreciate the fit while he had it on in full – white buttoned shirt with a sweater vest over it and a proper tie and glasses, going for the full teacher look except hot???

I still spent a good chunk of the gig looking at Jure though. The elevated balcony spot gave ussuch a nice view of him

Bojan was smiley and sounded way less congested than in Utrecht (maybe he's on the mend?)

Kris on the other hand was sipping tea on stage. In particular very sassily during Demoni

Kris had guitar problems at the beginning of Šta bih ja and went to Kiki to get it fixed but Bojan didn't see and so was actually worried for a moment that Kris had gotten sick off-stage. Kris was adorable in reassuring him that he was fine

they were all so mobile again

og demoni scream. In the middle. Might have been Bojan letting out his anxiety over Kris having disappeared from stage

"Kris, honey" and then that moment. What in the BoKris was that. I just turned to Kris and said that out loud bc what the fuck

There was a sizeable crowd of Slovenians in the audience and Bojan was delighted

fairly even split in the crowd for French vs foreigners, though the French were louder in yelling

the most hilarious to me moment: Bojan did his spiel about "who here experiences panic attacks?" And the crowd cheered, and he was like "yay! Panic attacks! It's me!" And Kris next to me went "I'm the problem, it's me," and literally on the last syllable, Bojan started saying the exact same thing. One brain cell. Or maybe he has the stream on his in-ears

Barve oceana 🫶🫶💛💛

according to Astrid, I looked ridiculously happy (I was ridiculously happy)

best galaxy of me version tonight. I still don't like it though 😂 it's gonna be my metulji 😂

Bojan went into the crowd for Umazane misli

it's so fun to watch from above

Vita was his trusty shadow and also a beacon of light to spot Bojan with

this time I don't think they forgot her in the crowd

Bojan made the balcony sing while he was still in the crowd. But it was mostly just Kris, Madeleine, and me, at least on the bleachers/seated part. We still gave our best 😂

Carpe Diem was not part of their "encore" but came before

no Tokio :( might be the first show without it?

fucking Novi val

the way Jure jumped up and sprinted to trade a drumstick for a baguette, it was so hilarious

he was so happy, and he first made fun of Nace for being unable to eat it

he shared it with Jan

Jan got chocolate and they put it into the baguette and then shared it.

Jure let everyone else also take a bite, including Bojan who was ostensibly singing

Nace bottle feeding Kris. What the fuck. Can someone make sure they still don't know about AO3?

no Umazane shenanigans even though Jan and Nace had talked right before it so I'd been hopeful

so many um versions in other langauges. It wasn't the longest rendition, but we also

when Bojan said we'd get the original Slovene version, I thought it would be the one he made up on the spot when they went on stage to play it all the way back? When they were babies. So it was a small disappointment when it was just the regular Slovene version 😂

Bojan asked the Slovenians if they were able to tell that they weren't playing at home and they said no and Bojan was so so delighted

he's also given the mic to people in the audience outside of Umazane misli (ne bi smel and plastika, I want to say)

he sang galaxy of me with a guy from the front row (Josh?)

not a lot of Jance, possibly because they were looking after Kris?

still a lot of eye contact

or maybe it was the fact that they apparently were out in Paris together in the afternoon 😏

my phone was so hot by the end (and I have 4gb left of memory)

after the gig I couldn't find my hat so I was worried I'd left it, so I went back in. Which was how I got JC and Vita to sign my gig memory book

I had forgotten about wanting to grab Vita's signature so if Astrid hadn't reminded me, I would have missed out

the boys got JC Stewart sick, he said his voice was going

It was raining so the boys ran out of the venue towards a van while we cheered. Bojan took a group selfie

Jan and Jure left first with the crew in that van so we assume that the others took a second car

#joker out #jan peteh #nace jordan #kris gustin #bojan cvjeticanin #jure macek #jure maček #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #nace ja jan #bojan ja kris #gig report #my gig footage

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ravenloop · 1 year

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Hi, I'm kinda new to Tumblr and I really want a Thor and Kratos reacting to a powerful yet apathetic reader who doesn't really care if they get hurt or die in the end, because whenever they get in a fight they somehow always end up winning.

You don't really have to do this request if you don't want to :)

Headcanons: Thor and Kratos w/ a powerful, apathetic S/O

AN: Made this a lot more angsty than I intended lol Hope you enjoy and that it was what you wanted <33

-----------------------------------------

Thor:

Thor is a rowdy person.

He's someone who always tells himself not to think. That it's a waste of time.

So when you fight and don't care about strategy or how things might turn out, he doesn't think much of it. He actually likes it, some people think too much in a fight and that's just boring in his eyes.

There is no reason for him to tell you to stop, not when you're both stepping over and crushing your enemies like they're nothing but dirt.

Sometimes though, you take it a little too far in a fight. Too far to where you could have been killed. And that's when he realises that you need to be more careful.

"You know, those things can still kill you," Thor says, as he brings down Mjolnir on an enemy one last time - ending them. You turn to him, with a bored look on your face, and shrug, "I'm still alive."

He turns to you, "I'm just saying you should be more careful. Just because you're powerful doesn't mean you're unkillable." It was a strange thing to tell your partner that they could be killed, but Thor was just making sure you kept safe. He didn't want your head too high in the clouds.

You licked your teeth, sighing, "So far I haven't been killed." "That's not my point-" He walked closer, "You shouldn't be so reckless." Your brow raised, "Thor - I don't think you should be telling me this. You're no different."

If there was one thing he despised, it was arguing with you - arguing with the one person he loved. "I know, but you take it too far sometimes and just expect everything to be fine. I just don't want you to be injured... Or dead."

It was the way you stared at him that caused him to worry more, your gaze was blank.

Turning around and glancing over your shoulder at Thor, you said, "Thank you for worrying, Thor. But I'll just stick to what I'm doing and plus... I always win." Then you walked off.

Thor wanted to say something, but what? It was like you lacked any emotion and care for yourself, and he hated it. He didn't want to lose you, but you clearly didn't care if you lost yourself. With a sigh, he hooked Mjolnir on his belt and followed you.

Kratos:

Kratos is someone who tries to be a better person. His past haunts his every step, and because of that, he tries to change. To forget.

But your lack of empathy and care, he hated to say it, but it reminded him of who he was.

You fought like nothing mattered. Like life itself was nothing but an object that could easily be remade or replaced - it wasn't.

He watched how you would tear through your enemies, like they were Nothing. Like they couldn't kill you. Like you were untouchable.

Even if you were untouchable, he didn't see that as a reason for you to act like it. Strategy in a fight was always better than rash behaviour.

"You fight recklessly." Kratos approached you as you flicked a piece of your enemies' remains off your clothing. "And?" You looked up at him, "I still came out the victor."

"What if you didn't?" His gravely voice became louder when he stopped in front of you. Deepening your frown, you replied, "I always come out alive. No one is a match for me." "Do not act like you are invulnerable," He continued talking even as you turned to pick up your weapon, "Fighting and abandoning all care and worry is not how a real, powerful person would fight."

Turning on your heel, you asked, "Are you saying I'm not powerful? That I'm not a real fighter?" "I'm saying that you should learn to care about yourself!" Roughly his hands landed on your shoulders, "I do not want to lose you."

That was the first time you heard Kratos' voice so low - so quiet and gentle. It was a surprise indeed.

You were silent as you stared into your lover's eyes. You shrugged his hands off, "I will care... when I'm dead."

No. No, he couldn't let you think like that. Like how he used to think.

"You are choosing a dangerous way." You chuckled, it was cold and not heartfelt in the slightest, "Yeah, well... It's my way." Turning around, you started walking, "And it's kept me alive so far."

#god of war #god of war ragnarök #god of war x reader #gow x reader #thor x reader #kratos x reader #reader insert

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these-emo-thoughts · 5 months

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Last Twilight Episode 11 thoughts

A lot of people are hating on Day right now but I get him. I do. And if you haven't watched episode 11 yet, maybe skip this post as it revolves around a major part of the plot. If you've watched the ep, you probably know what I'm talking about. More detail is under the cut.

Warning, this is a long one, lol. Apologies for any mistakes, I'm a bit sick and didn't read over it 🤣

If you've seen it already, I'm going to explain why I think Mhok and Day's break-up had to happen and why it is the best thing for them right now.

Mhok's fear of losing another person because he isn't there to help or pick up the phone is absolutely valid (and so real and relatable that I feel personally attacked). He doesn't stay with Day out of pity, which has been established multiple times throughout the series - but the trauma of what he went through with Rung and the fear of possibly repeating that again with Day has made his anxiety cloud his judgement and his heart. It's not a healthy way to live - constantly worrying about your partner, to the extent where you cannot live for yourself, is not sustainable for a relationship (I also find this quite ironic because up until this point Mhok has been on his own for a long time now). We saw the manifestation of this fear in episode 11 multiple times too, with Mhok leaving in the middle of the shift to check that the guest that was hit by a car wasn't Day, and then when he was freaking out when Day wasn't answering his phone. Imagine going through all of that, but this time, your partner is 15 hours away by plane.

Day choosing to break up with him is, in my opinion, more complex than just "he lied to me and pitied me". That's part of it (and will come back at the end of this post), yes, and he does have the right to be upset that Mhok lied to him. Again, it's not healthy for the both of them if they are going to continue a relationship. I also want to point out that Day is at a disadvantage here because while he is capable of living his life independently as a blind man, he can't actually see the emotions on people's faces when he talks to them and that's can be important for picking up what others are putting down. Day can't see the changes in Mhok's expression when his smile fades, he has to rely on the other to talk to him when something is up, so lying is a BIG no-no here (as it would be for any relationship). So far, they've done a great job at communicating, so this is presented as new issue - but, it's a big one. So yes, the lying is part of it, but it's not ALL of it.

"But what IS all of it!?" I hear you scream into the Tumblr void. Well, by now, OF COURSE Day knows that Mhok truly loves him and KNOWS that the other doesn't pity him - he's said so many times. So, Day must realise at this point - of which the timeline is probably at a year of them knowing each other, give or take - that Mhok is deliberately holding himself back from good opportunities because of that love. It must hurt like hell, knowing that you're the reason your partner is self-sabotaging, but there's nothing you can do to change their mind because everything is out of your control. It's so much easier for Day to say "Mhok pities me and lied to me and that's why I want to break up" instead of "I'm the reason Mhok won't go".

It's heartbreaking, but what's the solution here? Long distance? Sure, maybe - but that's not going to stop Mhok from worrying about Day and being distracted from his job. It's not going to stop Day from feeling like he's a burden to Mhok. Not only that, with timezones and such a huge distance, there are even more complications to worry about. Plus, let's say something DID happen to Day while Mhok was in Hawaii - it goes back to exactly the problem that Mhok had which is what can he do about it? Long distance is a solution, but how long will they last living like that?

"Okay emo, so why doesn't Day just go to Hawaii with Mhok? Then they can be together and Mhok can fulfil his promise to take him there and they don't have to break up and they'll live happily ever after." I see you!! But... that's a BIG decision. Mhok and Day's trip to Songkhla may have been a test to see how they weather the storm of living together as boyfriends, but it was only for a few days. And Day - for most of it - was alone in the room while Mhok was working. That's not a way for Day to live, and it still won't stop Mhok from being worried, probably even MORESO now because they're in a whole other country.

So... what's left?

Day's decision to break up with Mhok is heartbreaking, but is probably the only solution that makes sense to me. Mhok CANNOT live a life like this. He can't. It's already debilitating him and it'll get even worse if he's constantly prioritising Day over himself in every aspect of life. Of course a person should think about their partner, but not to the point where it becomes unhealthy self-sabotage. Day also cannot live happily like this. He's come to terms living with a disability and already is aware of how different his daily life is to that of a sighted person - but the little voice in the back of his mind, the one reminding him that he's the reason Mhok is not living his life to the fullest, is making the entire process more difficult for him (and the lying really doesn't help).

So... yeah. A necessary evil that unfortunately to many will be written off simply as the "episode 11 curse". An evil that has people already saying that Day is stupid and immature, when I really believe this is the most rational he's been. I know even the actors have said it's about the lying but this is P'Aof we're talking about here - he's a brilliant story-teller, and there's always more to his art than what we see on the surface. It's happened in other shows he's directed, which is why they rate so highly. Last Twilight is no exception, and the complexity of the love story between Mhok and Day is nothing short of a masterpiece. That's how I see it, anyway.

Would love to hear other thoughts and perspectives!

#last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight episode 11 #character study #mhokday #jimmysea #backaof noppharnach

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vimara00 · 6 months

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Hello everyone, It's Vi! 💕 I had some 'Shoto vibes' today so I decided to write something about him. As always I hope you enjoy! Please comment, like or send me requests on my DMs (I don't know how it's called on Tumblr jajaja)

All characters reservations yo Horikoshi

Warnings: toxic relationship (not with Shoto) and swearing but fluff💕

~Always~ ShotoTodoroki

• Shoto and y/n had been friends since they entered the UA. Well, actually that's not so true...it took time for Todoroki to get used to others but the more he knew her, the more the walls he had put around himself where trembling down. It was a slow process but Shoto realized his days were better when she's around and that he smiled more just at the thought of seeing s/o but those things had nothing to do with his growing feelings for her...right?! He indeed liked her as more that a friend but she wasn't supposed to know about this till it was too much for his heart to take

• One of the reasons He never made a move (a part from being a coward) was because she already had a relationship or more specifically a toxic relationship. For someone who wasn't given enough love and care as a child, he could see miles away how terribly it was. She was always the one who ended up hurt by the asshole's sharp and cruel words, the one who took to much space and time and that would never be enough for him not matter how much she tried. He treated her as something that belonged to him, something he could show off to his stupid friends. He had so much power over her when he laughed about her dreams of becoming a hero in front of everyone saying he'll let her play the heroine but they all know she'll be just his pretty wife. And everyone was laughing, except her and Shoto, who wanted to throw up.

• With all he might, Todoroki wished to take her out of that relationship (and burn that idiot alive but that wasn't too heroic, was it?). However, y/n, who had such a beautiful soul, too kind for this world and even more kinder for that man, always ended up forgiving him and justifying his actions after the promises that 'he'll change, he'll grow, he'll be better' (quoting Maddie here hehehe)

Shoto had witnessed how abusive behaviors and unhealthy relationships could take an amazing woman to madness and he'd known that even if that asshole didn't fiscally abuse her, his words caught deeper than a knife. She tried so much to hide her low self-esteem but Shoto knew her better than she knew herself. He could see behind that fake smile and those eyes filled with sadness, how much she struggled to save her soul. At first, he had tried to convince her about leaving him but the last few weeks he came up with the idea of showing her how she should be treated. Not only the material things but the acts of service like making her favorite tea when she was studying or heating her hand when she was cold and the attention her boyfriend lacks off giving like just listening what her worries were or how her day went and remembering all she'd said by heart. It actually was not much work, he already did that but he added more enfasis to the lingering touches that she seemed to reciprocate. Shoto was sure she noticed his longing stares when they were watching a movie or how his hand always found hers when they were in a crowd room (cause he knows she hates being surrounded by many people) or the blushing mess he became when she'd found staring for too long. Todoroki could tell something in their friendship was changing and he couldn't be happier if it werent for the fact that the dickhead was still present in her life...

• However, He had enough when one night in particular that idiot decided to visit at the doorms and ruin their weekly movie marathon (the one Shoto and y/n always did in the common area when everyone was already sleeping but her boyfriend didn't have to know that she cuddle him under the covers that they shared) Apparently, he had important news to deliver so he proceeds to enlighten the mood by saying that he was offered an amazing job abroad and that she didn't have to keep on attending to that worthless school with those wannabe heroes and that she needed to hurry cause their plane leaves in three hours. Y/n open her mouth to protest but he interrupted her like always. To that idiot surprise and Shoto's too, y/n took a few steps closer to him and shouted 'STOP FUCKING TALKING! I'M TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR TWISTED GAMES. STOP LAUGHING ABOUT MY DREAMS AND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I'M THE PROBLEM WHEN I COMPLAIN. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! I'VE TOLERED TO MUCH OF YOUR BULLSHIT. I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT I LOVE YOU CAUSE I DON'T. AND I WON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU WHERE THE LAST MAN OF EARTH. SOMEONE HAS ALREADY TOOK THE PLACE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD IN MY HEART AND SHOWED ME THAT I'M WORTH LOVING SO FUCK YOU!'

The room was silent and Shoto took this opportunity to grabbed that asshole and take him out the residence. Y/n will never know as Shoto would take it to the grave, that he had frightened her ex so he'll never come closer or even breath the same air as her EVER again

When he entered, he saw her trembling figure and the tears rolling down her cheecks and all he could do was embrace her body in hope of giving some comfort. Her face was against his chest as he caressed her hair delicately. Suddenly, she looked up at him and said 'I know its bad...you don't need to save me but would you stay by my side even after the storm?'

And Shoto responded firmly without a pause and without a doubt but with his entire being 'Always' and hugged her even harder

• A few days later, after things had calmed down, he confronted her about what she'd said and she confessed to him even if she wasn't sure that he'll reciprocate, she was glad that she found someone as great as him to love.

Shoto's had enough time to figured out exactly what he felt towards her so he make it his life mission to show her every day why he was worth of her love. No one will ever hurt her ever again and God forgive who'll try...

#mha #bnha #mha shoto #bnha shoto #shoto todoroki #bnha fluff #mha fluff #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto fluff #todoroki x reader #shoto x y/n #mha scenarios #todoroki fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #shoto smut

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thefallennightmare · 7 months

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Just Pretend-seven

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Authors Note: please know, I do try really hard to get updates out every day but sometimes life happens. This story is so so important, I'm taking my time writing each chapter; especially since each chapter has been at least 7k words. Anway, enjoy!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

JOLLY

I stood in front of the coffee maker in our little makeshift kitchen on our bus as I waited for the coffee to brew. The usual cup I drank my coffee in hung from my fingers as I held it up in the air, the black letters spelling my name read upside down. There were deep brown stains etched into the ceramic and I mumbled to myself that I should wash it.

Once the coffee was poured over the old stains, I eased onto the couch while browsing through the emails in my inbox. Even though Finding God Before God Finds Me was released last year, the record label was pressuring us to write the next album which is the email I was reading right now. Matt told them that once the tour was over, we'd buckle down and start but that didn't seem to satisfy them.

A humming tune filtered from the back of the bus and I quickly recognized it as Noah. He was humming a tune that wasn't familiar to me and I leaned on my knees so I could look back into the bunk area of the bus, smirking when I saw him dancing; the tune getting louder.

Someone's in a good mood.

Ever since he and Y/N returned from the funeral a few days ago, Noah's spirits were surprisingly lifted. We were afraid he would come back in a catatonic state but he had a large smile on his face. They wouldn't say it but we knew something happened while they were gone.

Noah finally caught my amused expression, and he stilled, a red hue crossing over his cheeks. "I didn't know you were awake."

I hummed while taking a long sip of coffee. "Care to explain what has you in a jolly mood?"

He rolled his eyes while throwing a shirt at me. "Your dad jokes are getting worse."

"Avoiding the subject, I see," I teased while catching the shirt.

Noah shut himself in the bathroom but not before flipping me off.

NOAH

Shaking out the water from my hair, I stepped into the front area of the bus, not surprised to see Chase and Malcolm lounging on our couches. We just arrived to the venue but didn't have to worry about soundcheck until way later so we planned on hanging out on the busses. I noted how close the two of them sat next to each other, Chase's knee bumping with Malcolm's.

"You two should travel with us at this point since you're always here," I joked while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting next to Nick at the dinette table.

"If we could talk Y/N into it, we would," Malcolm grumbled.

Looking closer at them, I noticed the bruised knuckles on both of their hands.

"What the hell happened?"

Chase rubbed his head. "The other night, we got into it with Trey. We were tired of watching him treat Y/N like how he has and had enough."

I let out a low whistle while my heart hammered in my chest at hearing her name. "I'd hate to see what he looks like."

"Let's just say he's lucky he had a few days off to lick his wounds," Malcolm said.

"Where's Y/N, anyway?" Folio asked while sitting next to Jolly.

Malcolm drummed his fingers over his thigh as he sat back against the couch. "She's locked herself in her bunk because she doesn't want anyone to see her."

"Did something happen?" I rushed out in one breath while grabbing the water bottle tightly, the loud crackling noise echoing throughout the bus.

"She's fine. Actually, more than fine. She's in such a great mood she's been humming around the bus a lot lately. I think she's working on a new song," Chase said.

My stomach burned with the best intensity knowing that I was the reason for that.

"But the reason she doesn't want to see anyone is because she's afraid you guys will make a big deal out of today," Malcolm added.

"What's today?" I asked with a raised brow.

"It's her birthday," Chase informed.

Nick and I shared a look, almost immediately thinking the same thought.

"Text her and tell her you need to show her something inside the venue," I nodded towards Chase.

With his phone in his hand, fingers typing away, he still shot me a weary look. "What are you planning, Noah?"

I stood from the table and looked towards Folio. "Text Matt and say we need to borrow the van again today."

He winced. "He's still pretty upset about the sand in the van. I don't know if he'll let us."

"Matt will get over it," I shrugged while rummaging through my suitcase to grab a few things. "We're not going to let her spend her birthday alone on the tour bus."

Chase and Malcolm rose and muttered something under their breath to themselves before the latter ran a hand through his long auburn hair.

"It seems like you've got something planned but if I can suggest something?"

I set the beanie on top of my head and then nodded. "Of course."

"There's this Dasio store in town that she not so subtly brought up on the way here," Malcolm said.

"Oh, the one in that little outlet mall in town? It had the jewelry store right next to it? I saw it," Nick said nodding.

Chase held up his phone towards us. "She wants to know what I want to show her inside the venue."

Shit, I thought she'd take the bait.

I shrugged on my black hoodie. "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way."

Everyone smirked at my mischievous voice, and Malcolm motioned towards their bus. "She's alone so don't have to worry about any surprises."

"Meet you guys at the van."

Bounding down the stairs of my bus, I jogged the few feet distance to Hollow Souls bus and quietly sneaked inside where I heard a noise coming from her bunk. Ignoring how similar our buses looked, I stood in place, body frozen, as the soft melody of her voice crept deep inside my bones.

"But for now we stay so far til our lonely limbs connect. I can't keep you in my arms so instead you'll be in my mind."

I clutched my chest as she sang the words a few more times in different octaves of voice, trying to find the one that worked best. It wasn't anything like how she sang on stage. This had more passion behind the words and if I saw her, I bet her eyes would be closed in concentration, soft lips breathing out the words.

Fuck.

Shifting on my feet at the feeling of all the blood running to my dick as I remembered our kiss, I returned my focus to the whole reason I snuck on the bus. Yanking the curtain to her bunk back, I smirked as Y/N let out a shrilled shriek while covering her face with shaking hands.

"What the fuck, Noah! You scared the shit out of me," she seethed with no ounce of venom behind it.

My lips curled up in a lopsided smile. "Happy birthday, angel."

She stared up at me from her bunk with a surprised gaze but then a low scowl fell on her lips. "They told you?"

Ignoring her, I pointed to her outfit of black biker shorts and a black fitted tank; to me, she looked fucking breathtaking in this simple outfit, but I wanted to make sure that's what she wanted to wear out today. This day was about her and whatever she wanted, I'd give it to her.

"Fine with wearing that?" I asked.

I saw the way her eyes dwindled as the fight within her mind took over.

"Why?" She dragged out the word.

"Because you have two seconds to decide if you want to change or not. It's your choice; I'm not going to force you to change if you're happy with how you look."

She had her long hair pulled back in a tight braid but there was one small strand that hung into her eyes and she brushed it away eventually giving me a small nod.

"I'm happy with wearing this," her voice was quiet almost afraid that I'd change my mind.

My tongue darted out to wet my lips, an action she watched with intent eyes. "Good."

"What are you-?"

With my hand around her ankle, I slid her off of her bunk and threw her over my shoulder to carry her out of her bus. She protested by smacking my back but remembered what I told her the last time she was in this position.

"My shoes!" She yelled.

I turned around in a giant circle so fast; that she giggled with pure delight. It made my heart ache with the need to always hear that sound.

"Which ones?"

Y/N did the best she could to point in the right direction. "The bunk above mine has my shoes. Grab my docs."

Swiping them, I continued my run down the stairs to the outside air, her body bounding against my shoulder.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked.

"No, you're fine, Noah," she giggled. "But I'd love to know why you're kidnapping me."

I playfully scoffed. "It's not kidnapping if you're going to enjoy this."

Her nails scratched at my back and I shivered under her touch. "Hm, don't tempt me with a good time."

Swallowing thickly the desire to throw her against the bus to attack her lips again, I walked towards the van just in time to see Folio emerge from our bus.

"Shit, I didn't grab a jacket," Y/N cursed.

"Folio, can you grab my leather jacket? The one on my bunk?"

He raised a brow. "You sure you want that one?"

"Special occasion," I smirked while gently patting Y/N's ass.

"Hey!" she protested. "I'm way too old for birthday spanks!"

Don't fucking tempt me, angel.

Once we reached the van, I set her gently on her feet when Jolly and Nick took turns in a birthday celebratory hug. As much as she wanted to be upset about us celebrating her, the smile on her face gave her away. Chase wrapped an arm around her and left a kiss on her forehead while Malcolm did his typical fist bump.

"Happy birthday, kid." He said.

"Kid?" Her brows pulled together. "I'm older than you, dumbass."

Malcolm's fingers gently brushed across Chase's and I tilted my head at the small action.

"Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes.

Chase whispered something low in Y/N's ear and I watched as her face turned stone for a few brief seconds before giving a slow nod.

"I'm fine, Chase. The cramps haven't been that bad."

"Did you take your meds?" Malcolm asked. "I know you were worried about getting it refilled while on the road."

Y/N locked eyes with me for a few long seconds but before I could ask anything about whatever meds Malcolm was talking about, she turned her back to me so they could have their private conversation.

"Happy birthday!" Folio beamed his usual bright smile before giving her a high five and handed me my jacket with the free hand.

The smack echoed throughout the entire parking lot, and she hissed out in pain, shaking her hand.

"Y/N gets shotgun!" I raised my hand in the air, deciding it would be best to ignore the private conversation she had with Malcolm and Chase.

If she wanted me to know, she would tell me.

Y/N quickly shot me down. "No. I'm fine sitting in the back."

"Not going to happen, angel, it's your day. You ride front and center."

Even though we were almost ready to leave, we were waiting for Bryan who wanted to tag along to create a vlog day video for us. There was a chain-like fence that blocked off the edge of the parking lot with the sidewalk and I sat on it while I waited. Y/N watched me with a careful gaze and arms crossed over her chest.

"Please be careful, Noah."

"It's pretty sturdy. See?" I held onto it while jumping on my feet.

But my heart jumped into my throat when I felt myself lean too far forward and as I prepared myself to fall face-first into the concrete, Y/N's arms wrapped around me to save me.

"Shit, thanks," I muttered while back on my feet and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Looks like I'll be catching you when you fall," she winked.

I looked down at her full lips and the same pull that connected us made me dip my head low to close the distance when Bryan's loud voice caused me to take a step back.

"Matt wants us to bring some mochis for him since he's letting us borrow the van."

Jolly rolled his eyes. "Of course he does."

Bryan raised his camera towards Y/N. "Happy Birthday!"

When the large smile spread across her face as she threw up a peace sign, posing for the picture, my heart swelled inside my chest and the butterflies fluttered their wings at a rapid pace.

She's fucking beautiful.

"Hey!" We all turned our attention to the person who shouted, seeing Matt poke his head out from the crew's bus. "Be back by one for sound check! And fill up the van when you're done!"

"Yes, sir!" Y/N saluted.

Even though he was flipping her off, Matt smiled as he wished her a happy birthday.

"Alright, we should go," I wrangled everyone up into the van and then slid behind the wheel.

Once we were all settled, I handed Y/N the aux cord. "Birthday girl gets to choose the music."

She broke out in a wide grin and quickly pulled up some music on her phone. "I know exactly who I'm putting on."

Malcolm, who was sitting in the middle row with Chase and Bryan, leaned forward towards Y/N. "Joe?"

"Hell yes."

"Who's Joe?" I asked with a raised brow but kept my eyes on the road.

"Joe Mulherin. But he goes by the stage name nothing, nowhere," Y/N informed before deciding on a song.

I shrugged as the strum of notes played on the speakers. "I've never heard of him."

"He's pretty small, few people know about him," Malcolm said.

"Malcolm was the one who told me about nothing, nowhere. I've been obsessed with him the last year," Y/N admitted with a sheepish smile.

Taking my eyes off of the road for a brief second, I threw her a teasing wink. "Oh, should I be worried?"

"I don't know," Y/N rested her elbow on the armrest with her chin in her palm. "If Hollow Souls has the chance to tour with nothing, nowhere, I'm taking it."

"Over me?" I pushed out my bottom lip in mock disappointment.

She flicked my nose with her finger. "Definitely."

Her giggles bounced off the confines of the van as I took off my beanie and tossed it to her, both of our smiles radiating light. With the music tangling in the air with the various conversations, I looked into the rearview mirror out of habit and noticed Chase tuck a strand of Malcolm's hair behind his ear.

Y/N saw my confused gaze and rested a hand on my knee, squeezing me. "They'll tell you later."

I rested my hand over hers and squeezed it. "Well, are you ready for the first stop on your birthday surprise?"

"I can't wait!"

Her eyes sparkled with the brightness that made my heart stop every single time she looked at me like that.

NOAH

"Y/N, look at this," I chuckled while throwing on a random animal hat I'd found in an aisle at the Dasio store.

She was looking through some merchandise with Nick and when she turned up her gaze at me; she burst out into a fit of giggles, her hand covering her mouth.

"Wow, I love the new look, Noah. You should go on stage with it tonight. I can see the memes now. 'this is your favorite metal singer?"

Bryan, who also thought it was hilarious snapped a few pictures which gave Y/N the idea too as well but with her phone. I gave her a wide smile as she snapped a few pictures and when she was finished, I took off the hat then handed it to her. She eyed it warily.

"What?"

"It's only fair I get some pictures of the birthday girl wearing it," I said with a small smile.

I thought for sure she would fight it instead she put the hat on happily and threw up a sideways peace sign. Bryan and I both took an insane amount of pictures before I pocketed my phone and figured now would be the perfect time to slip away for the next phase of her birthday surprise.

"Shit, we should probably head back to the venue for a soundcheck," I made a show of checking my watch.

It was only noon but I needed a diversion and also because we needed Nick to have enough time to set up for the third phase of Y/N's birthday celebration.

"I'll meet you guys at the van in ten minutes," I handed Y/N my leather jacket. "It's cold out now."

"Always looking out for me," she mused while slipping on the jacket.

Fuck, she looked so good wearing it.

The sudden urge to see her wearing more of my clothes filled me but I ignored it by clearing my throat. "I'll meet you at the van. Think of what you want for your birthday lunch."

Her hand caressed mine as I walked past her and every fiber of my existence buzzed with electricity.

"Where are you going?"

I leaned close to her ear; the words brushing against her skin. "If I tell you, then it ruins the surprise, angel."

With a wink, I jogged out of the Dasio store into the small shop right next door. The lady behind the counter gave me a warm smile as she beckoned me over with a wave.

"Hi there, what are we looking for today?"

"Uh," I rubbed my chin with nerves because I realized I didn't know what type Y/N likes. But can never go wrong with something simple. "Do you have any matching sets?"

I pointed down the silver array in the glass case, and the lady smiled. "Like his and hers?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"We'll look at the more feminine choices first before looking for some for you."

For the next few minutes, she helped me choose the best set for Y/N and me. When she was bagging everything up after I paid, she raised a curious brow.

"Whoever she is must be special."

"Yeah," my heart skipped a beat. "She really is."

READER

"No fucking way!" I squealed. "Are you serious?!"

Nick buzzed the gun in his hand a few times and finished setting up the small cups full of different colored inks.

"What did you want to get done?" Nick questioned.

My mind filled with different options and designs but knowing we were pressed on time for before the show tonight, I went with a small design from another one of my favorite animes My Neighbor Totoro.

"I've been wanting to get a small Totoro tattoo for a while now," I beamed. "Another one of my favorite animes."

"Alright, give me a few minutes to get it drawn up."

I wrapped my arms around Nick. "Thank you."

"Of course, Y/N. Happy birthday," he returned the hug.

"So, who's first? Me or you?"

Turning on my heels, I let Nick finish setting up and stared up at Noah, his words registering in my brain.

"Wait, you're getting a tattoo as well?" I asked.

He gave me a lazy smile. "Yep. I was going to get Aogaeru."

My eyes widened. "The frog from Spirited Away? Are you serious?"

Noah stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged as if this idea wasn't a big deal.

"It was the first movie we watched together in the hotel after Keaton's funeral. Means a lot to me."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "You'd sit and get a tattoo with me?"

Noah brushed away a loose strand of hair that fell from my braid behind my ear, fingers trailing against the skin of my neck.

"I'd sit and watch ants crawl out of a hole for hours if that meant I'm sitting next to you," he vowed with hooded eyes as he stared down at my lips.

Memories of our kiss flashed in my mind, and I clenched my legs together. It had been days since then and every second since, the only thing I felt were his lips and how they tasted. It haunted my dreams in the best way and I craved to feel his kiss once again.

Trey. Don't forget about your boyfriend.

Right, the same boyfriend who didn't bother to say happy birthday before he left for his interview.

"I have something for you," Noah's deep voice snapped me out of my thoughts of his lips on every inch of me.

"Noah, you've done enough," I said.

He ran a hand through his hair before pulling out two velvet boxes from a bag that was sitting on the couch of the green room where we all were hanging out. My heart stopped for three seconds as he handed them to me.

"No-Noah," I stumbled over his name, shock filling me. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. Now open it."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened the box, and a gasp left my lips as the silver necklace and matching bracelet shined under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.

With wet eyes, I gazed up at Noah, who had a nervous look on his face as he fiddled with his wooden rosary. "Do you like it?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my embrace, burying my face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."

His large hands gripped my hips as we stood there in each other's embrace for a few more long moments, enjoying the warmth of each other. My mind was racing in pace with how fast my heart was beating as the sudden realization hit. My feelings for Noah slammed into me like a fucking freight train and I nearly choked on them.

Noah leaves an imprint on me like I’ve never felt before. He is a permanent mark on my skin, deeper than any tattoo or scar. I can pinch myself and feel the pressure want to implode because he's burrowed there. Even if it imploded, it would heal over and Noah would still have his imprint on me. It seemed as if he was meant to be there and as I stared into his deep brown eyes, almost black with his feelings, I decided I never wanted to remove him.

"You know," Noah cleared his throat while stepping away from me. "I got-."

"Noah, can I talk to you quickly?"

Nick motioned Noah over to where he finished setting up for our tattoos.

"Go," I nodded. "I'm sure we'll have more time to talk tonight."

With a reluctant sigh, he squeezed my hand as he met Nick halfway. My gaze lingered at his back and my bottom lip caught between my teeth as I stared a little too long at the way his jeans hugged his ass.

Someone cleared their throat from behind causing me to jump and I gave Jolly a sheepish smile. "I wasn't-."

He hummed while taking a long sip of his beer. "I see everything, you know."

I pursed my lips while clearing my throat and adjusted the leather jacket; Noah's leather jacket. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jolly."

"You sure about that?" He motioned to the jacket.

Rolling my eyes, I smacked his chest playfully before going to sit on the couch in the green room.

NOAH

"What's up?" I asked Nick.

"You're getting matching tattoos with her?"

I ran a hand over my chin, already preparing myself for this conversation. I knew the guys wouldn't understand why I was doing this but as long as Y/N didn't mind, that's all that mattered.

"You're thinking too much into it, Nick. It's just a tattoo. Plus, it's not matching. I'm getting one from a different anime," I said.

He shrugged. "Can you blame me? I'm just worried you slipping too close to the edge for her and you're about to fall without someone there to catch you. We barely got you back the last time this-."

"Don't," I sliced my eyes into him. "I don't want to talk about her."

Nick let out a deep breath and nodded, patting my shoulder. "Alright. I'm just worried, that's all."

Guilt ate away at me when I realized I snapped at him when Nick was coming from a good place. She fucked me up years ago, and it was something I was still dealing with to this day.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. Whenever she's brought up, I go back to that place, and today out of all days, I don't want to go there."

"What's taking so long?" Y/N came up beside Nick and poked his side. "Birthday girl is getting impatient."

I snorted. "You heard her, Nick."

For the next couple hours, we all chatted about our lives before becoming a band and I found out a lot about Y/N that I couldn't find out on the internet. She has a black cat back home in Vegas named Salem; a friend of hers takes care of him while she's on the road. She was adopted at six months old but her parents divorced when she was sixteen; her dad moved to Japan while her mom stayed in Vegas. She saw her dad every so often and wished that she moved with him instead of staying with her mom. Y/N felt like she had to stay with her because the divorce hit her mom hard which ended up almost destroying their relationship.

"Have you visited your dad recently?" Nick asked as he finished putting the cream over her fresh tattoo.

It was a small design of Totoro on her ankle; mine mirrored hers in design and placement.

"It's been a few years. I've been so busy with Hollow Souls that it's hard to take a trip that far. But I try to talk to him every day," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry the relationship with your mom isn't the greatest," Jolly frowned.

Y/N shrugged. "I love her but sometimes she forgets how to be a mom. She'd rather be a friend."

Chase kissed the side of her head since he sat next to her on the couch. "It's her own fault. She's missing out on seeing the kick-ass women you've grown into, Y/N."

"Yeah, fuck her!" Malcolm cheered while finishing his second beer.

Y/N tried to chastise him for cursing her mom but eventually, she agreed with a curt nod.

I sat on the armrest of the couch next to her. "Our tattoos look sick."

"I still can't believe you got a Totoro tattoo just because I like it," she chuckled while resting a hand on my thigh.

"That's exactly why I got it, angel."

Folio handed her a drink before passing out the rest of the bottles to all of us and I raised my beer in the air. "Happy birthday, Y/N! I hope you had a great fucking day because you deserve it."

She tapped her bottle with everyone before she turned towards me, a glimmering light beneath her pupils. "Thank you, Noah, sincerely. You've made the last few weeks something truly memorable."

We clinked out bottles and as I brought it to my lips; she watched it with careful determination.

Suddenly, her phone began to ring and as I peered down at it, my heart sank low to the depths of my stomach.

Trey.

"What the fuck does he want," she grumbled while standing to her feet.

"I doubt it's to wish you a happy birthday. Prick has been gone all day for a two-hour interview," Malcolm said.

She waved him off as she slipped into the hallway, leaving the door cracked open a bit, just enough to hear parts of her conversation.

"You were the one who left me alone today, Trey."

"I didn't plan on celebrating my birthday today. Noah surprised me with everything, I would not say no."

"Holy Hades, you're delusional. Nothing is going on between us. He's just a friend."

The words would have stung if I believed her but I didn't. We both knew that our feelings for each other were more than friends; the kiss proved it. My lips tingled as I remembered how she tasted or the way her teeth grazed across my bottom lip.

"Why should I come to you? It's not like you have anything for me."

There was a long beat of silence. "I'm sorry but the last thing I want right now is mediocre birthday sex where you'll get to finish while I'm laying there getting myself off as you fall asleep."

I didn't know whether to be impressed at her witty comeback or upset at the fact that she was stuck with that kind of guy.

Why the hell did she continue to stay with him?

"You didn't even post anything about my birthday!" She seethed, her anger echoing into the room. "You might think it's stupid but I don't know; to me it means something. Fucking Bryan posted a video compilation for me."

"Bryan's their photographer you fucking dick! Oh, my Hades. Not every guy I hang out with is trying to sleep with me."

Bryan shifted in his seat. "This guy sounds like a real prick."

Chase drained half of his beer in one go. "We know."

While she continued to talk on the phone with Trey, I whipped out my phone with a small smile pulling at my lips.

READER

"Yeah, fuck you too," I spat while ending the call.

Trey promised that if I met him on the bus, he'd make my birthday worth it.

"He can't even find my spot, how the fuck is he going to make it worth it." I rubbed the frustration out on my forehead with a long, calming breath.

Many would ask why I continued to stay with Trey but the answer was simple; he was familiar.

A familiar asshole who doesn't deserve you.

That part was true. It was my birthday and what did Trey do? Nothing. While all the guys spent the last few hours making me feel so adored and thought of, Trey didn't even post on his social media for me but you know who did?

Trey and Malcolm made compilations of random pictures throughout our time in Hollow Souls together.

Both Nick's and Jolly posted pictures they took of me while on stage to say happy birthday.

Even Bryan posted a small video compilation of me from when we went to the zoo.

With my phone still in my hand, it buzzed letting me know I received yet another tag on Instagram. This post was the only one that made my heart stutter wildly in my chest. Two pictures. The first was the picture he took of me today at the Dasio store with the animal hat on my head. The second one was a picture of our tattoos. The words he wrote in the caption made the butterflies flutter in my gut.

Happy birthday @y/n! I'm not attempting to be corny or some shit on this app, but I will say this: tour and this whole experience has been sick, and it’s been such a privilege to be in your presence, your talent is beyond measure, you inspire me more than you know and I hope you enjoy yourself. You deserve it. 🧡 P.S. The tattoo I got today hurt like a bitch.

Of course, he limited the amount of comments on the post but that didn't stop the few fans that tossed their absurd accusations about the post.

"I'm so fucked." I muttered while double-clicking the picture.

NOAH

"Has anyone seen Y/N?" I asked while poking my head into the green room seeing Chase and Malcolm talking amongst themselves; pretty close.

When they heard me, they broke apart pretty fast, and I raised a brow to them while crossing my arms over my chest. "You guys don't have to hide this, you know?"

I could practically see the weight lift from Chase's shoulders as Malcolm held hands with him. "I told you, Chase; no one cares."

"It's not that. It's still new and I don't want to jinx it," Chase admitted.

"Well, good for you guys. I'm glad someone has a happy relationship in your band," I grumbled the last part to myself.

Malcolm snorted. "Why are you looking for Y/N?"

I held up a bottle of Hennessy. "Birthday shots before you guys go on stage."

Bad Omens finished their set a while ago with Y/N watching the entire time and every time I caught her eyes on side stage, I made sure to either wave or wink; something to let her know I was always thinking about her.

When Chase asked for the bottle, I tossed it to him. "I think she's on the bus getting ready."

Nodding to him, I quickly walked out of the venue and over to her bus with my nerves working into overdrive. I wanted to find her for birthday shots but there was also something I wanted to tell her; something that had been eating away at me for the last few days, since our kiss.

She needed to know the truth. I just hope she felt the same.

No, I shook my head. I know she did.

Hollow Souls bus was dark, with no sign of life, until I heard soft moans coming from the back bunk area and the sound of skin on skin.

"Shit, Trey. So good."

My jaw dropped in tangent with my heart as the feminine moans burned in my ears.

"Fuck, baby. You're so tight. I'm gonna-."

"Harder please."

"I'm better than him, right? He can't make you feel like this?"

"No, just you Trey."

I blinked slowly as my brain tried to process everything I was hearing. They were having sex, and she was enjoying it?

"Angel," I whispered as tears burned in my eyes.

Movement out of the window caught my attention just as Trey groaned out a name, one that wasn't Y/N's. It was white noise as I stared at my friend, who was outside laughing and smiling bright with Folio who was probably telling her the story about how he tried to catch this huge fish but ended up falling into the lake.

Oh, shit.

If Y/N was outside then who the fuck was in the bunk with Trey?

I fumed as I ran down the steps into the parking lot where Folio only stood, Y/N nowhere in sight. As he saw the anger radiating from me in waves, Folio stepped in front of me to stop me.

"Where's the fire, man?"

"Where's Y/N?" I asked, fingers shaking with the need to hit something.

"She's about to go on stage." Folio could sense something was off because he forced me to look at him. "What the hell is going on?"

Pressing my tongue to my cheek, I spat out the words like venom on my tongue. "I caught Trey cheating."

"Fuck," he cursed while running a hand over his face while pacing. "You're sure?"

I nodded. "Heard it loud and clear."

Nick and Jolly came down from our bus at that moment and immediately could feel the tension. "What's going on?"

Folio filled them in on what I had heard and they both had the same reaction as him.

"What are you going to do?" Jolly wondered.

I threw a hand towards the building. "I have to tell her; she deserves to know!"

"We know," Nick nodded. "But wait until after their set. Let her perform with a clear mind, alright? That's the last thing she needs to focus on while on stage."

"Fucking prick cheats on her on her birthday," Jolly fumed. "Who the fuck does that?"

As if he could hear us talking about him, Trey appeared from behind with a smug smile on his face and ran a hand through his messy curls. "Sorry, I missed your show, boys. I was kind of held up."

"Really? Cause I don't see Y/N anywhere," I stepped up into him.

Trey eyed me up and down. "My girlfriend is none of your business, Noah. Back off."

“She isn’t cattle for you to own, Trey. From what I’ve seen, you don’t love her. You were balls deep into someone less than ten minutes ago.”

“Shut the fuck up, man you don’t know anything," Trey pushed my chest.

Jolly stepped between us while both Nick and Folio grasped my arms to hold me back.

“No. No, I do. I see everything,” I said through gritted teeth.

Nick's tight grip on my forearm had me taking a large step away from Trey, letting out a deep breath.

"Might want to stick around for the show. I hear it's going to be one to remember," Trey flipped us off as he slithered inside the building.

"I really fucking hate him," I seethed.

NOAH

No. Fucking. Way.

I thought I was angry before but now; I was seeing red. Jolly and Nick flanked me on both sides while Folio stood off in front of me as we watched Hollow Souls finish their set. As usual, they killed it even with Trey but I couldn't focus on how beautiful Y/N looked tonight in her yellow flowy sundress or the white vans that seemed to glow underneath the stage lights. She took her hair out of her braid and it cascaded down her back in waves.

The only thing I could focus on was Trey and how he kept getting close to Y/N, wrapping an arm around her or even once trying to kiss her while she was on stage. She was uncomfortable; it was clear in the way her shoulders tensed when she kissed him back. My heart ached when I saw that but I couldn't dwell on the pain for long; I was buzzing as I waited for Y/N to come off stage so I could tell her what I heard but apparently, Trey had other plans.

"As some of you may know, today is Y/N's birthday so let's give her a huge round of fucking applause," Trey screamed into the mic.

Everyone in the crowd sang happy birthday along with Trey but neither Malcolm nor Chase helped, both seeing how uncomfortable Y/N was. It was if she shrunk into herself and let her hair fall into her face to hide.

"I love you so much, baby. Hollow Souls would be nothing without you. You truly make me a better man. I put a small video compilation together for you. You better like it," he ended his words with a wink.

Y/N's attention turned towards one of the large screens that we usually use for graphics for the show and immediately, everyone knew that this 'compilation' Trey threw together was a bunch of bullshit. It was mostly pictures of Trey with Y/N barely in the background or the pictures she was in were all of their media pictures. Not one personal picture he took of her.

As if she felt me watching, Y/N gazed over at me with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Alright, thanks so much Cincinnati! Have a good night and get home safe!" Malcolm called into the mic and cued the techs to start the nightly ritual of clean up.

Once she was cleared, Y/N sprinted off the stage over towards us but before I could even a second with her, Trey was hot on her tail.

"What, no thank you?" He demanded while grabbing her arm.

She ripped it from his grasp. "Fuck off! Why the hell would you do that? That stupid movie barely had any pictures of me!"

Trey clenched his jaw. "You're being ungrateful."

"Ungrateful?" she scoffed with wide eyes. "We both know the only reason you did that was because you wanted to one-up the guys. You don't give a shit."

"Baby, can we talk about this in private?" He tossed a glare towards us.

"Actually," I stepped towards her. "I really need to talk to you."

"I need to be alone," she mumbled under her breath.

Y/N pushed past me to continue her path outside where I followed behind, not ready to let this die. She needed to know the truth.

"Angel," I reached for her hand once we were outside.

"Noah, please," she let out a shaky breath. "I need to be alone."

I shook my head. "Give me five minutes."

"Oh, what's the problem wannabe Oli Sykes? Something upsetting you? Mad she won't spend the rest of her birthday with you?" Trey teased as he came up behind Y/N and wrapped an arm around her waist.

She brushed him off. "Can you give me a minute, Trey? Please, just a fucking minute."

Reluctantly he nodded but pulled her in for a heavy kiss and I averted my eyes down to my worn vans. I didn't need to watch as Y/N kissed him back for the briefest of moments before pushing on his chest.

"Two minutes then I want you on that bus, dress off," Trey smacked her ass before stalking up towards their bus.

Y/N wiped at her lips. "What do you want, Noah?"

"You can't go back to him, angel." I reached for her hand again and felt the weight around my heart ease when she intertwined our fingers together.

Tears burned in her eyes and I could tell she was seconds away from a breakdown.

"Why?" Her question wavered.

I swallowed the large lump in my throat. "He cheated on you, angel. I walked in on it."

Her broken stare barley lifted from the dirt on my shoes but the way she recoiled her hand from mine tightened the weight all over again.

"What?"

I tried to reach for her again but she smacked my hand away. "You're lying."

"I'm not," I shook my head. "Why would I lie to you about this?"

Her lips parted, nothing coming from her mouth, until she let out a stronger breath. "Be-because of the-."

Suddenly the anger intensified when I realized why she couldn't finish her sentence; she was afraid that if she said the word it would become real for her and force her to think about it.

"The kiss," I deadpanned. "You can say it, angel. We kissed. But that has nothing to do with Trey cheating on you!"

My voice was raised now, but I didn't care who heard. The only one that needed to be standing right in front of me.

"You're supposed to be my friend, Noah. Why would you even say that?"

Tears fell from her eyes and I had to force my hands into my pockets so I wouldn't wipe them away.

"That's why I'm telling you! And don't pull the friend card, you know this," I pointed between us. "Is more than that."

She turned her head away from me. "I don't know what you mean."

"Bullshit." I scoffed. "You know exactly how you feel, angel. Stop ignoring it."

"Did you see him?"

Her voice was so quiet, that I almost missed her question.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Did you see him?" She snapped, eyes slicing into me.

My nostrils flared. "No, but I heard him."

"Please, he could have been watching porn," she defended.

It was as if someone had slapped me across the face.

"I've listened to better audiobooks with sex than that," I said.

"Trey said you would do this. Tell lies to confuse me." She took a step away from me.

"You're taking his side over me? Even after everything he puts you through," I asked, dumbfounded.

She shook her head, not meeting my gaze again. "You don't get it."

"No, I get it loud and fucking clear, Y/N! You're so afraid of how you feel for me, for us, that you're staying with something familiar even though he treats you like shit!"

"There's no feelings here, Noah. That kiss was a mis-."

"Don't," I took a large step towards her. "We know it wasn't a mistake; we both wanted it."

Her tears stained her face, mascara leaving black trails underneath her eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm used to this. I can handle it."

I stared at her for a long moment, shocked that she was taking Trey's side. Yes, I might not have seen him, but I know what I heard.

"Fine," I eventually nodded and ran an aggravating hand through my hair. "When you wake up from this delusional world you're in, you know where to find me."

With a final look of betrayal, I left her standing in the middle of the parking lot, her soft cries running daggers into my chest.

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