#second ask sent me straight in flashback mode | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shra-vasti · 4 years

Text

Flower

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : ex-lovers to soulmate au, idol au

Genre : primarily angst, fluff

Warnings : cursing here and there and a makeout scene at the start

Soulmate au type : In which your soulmate's initial are craved into your wrist when you turn 20 and when you touch each other their initial turns into their full name.

Synopsis : You and Jeonghan dated before getting your soulmark but it ended in a rather most heartbreaking way for you but fate bought you two together and now it's upon Jeonghan to fix what he messed up.

Note : Italics = flashback/past

Word count : 6k

"Yah, Yoon Jeonghan take me home."

He look up from where he was seated with his drink in his hands as he took in your form. You were barely walking straight, your body far from being balanced.

"What did you say?"

Shock was clearly evident in his voice that you even thought of walking in his direction yet alone ask him to take you home. He heard Mingyu and Jun snicker beside him laughing at his confused and shocked state. Their Hyung was never this perplexed in front of anyone.

"You heard me." you let out a whine already regretting your decision to even ask him to drop you home.

"My friends are way too drunk and Joshua told me that you are aren't drinking tonight plus your apartment is near mine."

He put his drink on the counter as he made his way towards you.

"You're going to regret this once you sober up." he muttered more to himself as he took a hold of your hand and guided you out of the party with all of his and your friends cheering up and leaving teasing remarks.

He took you to your apartment as you fumbled with your purse to take out the card to swap across the monitor but it seemed like you weren't even in the condition to do that so Jeonghan took it upon himself to tuck you in bed and then leave.

"Yoon Jeonghan." you called out when he settled you on your couch, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he helped you take out your heels.

He look up at you when he heard you calling his name to see your face really close to his.

"Why are you frowning?" you asked as you gently swiped your thumb across his eyebrows to make him relax, a habit of yours whenever you found him frowning over something.

"I should go."

He was sure that you were mad drunk and if he will stay in your apartment unit longer, one of you will regret it in the end.

You held his hands as you saw him get up from where he was standing and stood up before him, your gaze still hazy.

Your hands craddled his face as you cup his jaw slowly closing the distance between the two of you. His hands found their way around your body and rested on your hips but as soon as he felt your breath on his face and the scent of wine hit his nose he came back to reality, no he can't take advantage of you when you were drunk.

You once again let out a whine, stomping your feet on the floor clearly frustrated.

"I don't want you to do anything with me, which I know you will regret, when you are drunk. I'm not drunk so I won't let that happen."

His voice was stern but it felt like instead of scolding you he was actually trying to warn himself about it.

"Lets have a drink then, why are you the only one not getting drunk." you said as you blackmailed him to stay put and went inside the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine.

A loud noise was heard as soon as you went inside the kitchen and Jeonghan didn't think twice before running towards you to see that you accidentally made the steel utensils fell onto the floor.

He sighed as he picked them up and moved towards where you were in front of your refrigerator. He crossed his arms across his chest eyeing you and silently asking you on how on earth you have so many bottles of wine in your house.

You just smiled at him not really caring about his stern gaze as you pulled his collar by one hand, a bottle on wine on another as you finally pulled him in for a kiss.

His body stiffened at the sudden proximity, he felt your one hand running through his hair and tucking on it making him groan. He pulled your body harshly against his as he devoured you unable to control himself as his hands roamed everywhere on your body, touching each surface of your exposed skin as much as possible.

He pulled away to catch his breath, his eyes darkening at the sight of your swollen lips, then his eyes landed on the bottle of wine loosely hanging on your hand and he snatched it from you, opening the bottle and chugging as much as drink possible in one go.

Your eyes widened as you look at him drinking the wine vigorously. You once again moved towards him taking the bottle from his hands and putting it somewhere on the kitchen counter.

You hop onto the counter and once again tugged him towards you kissing and sucking on his neck and drinking the remains of wine which spilled from his mouth onto his neck and chest. He let out a groan as his hands found your hair and he grabbed them harshly pulling you off him before once again claiming your lips.

You crossed your legs around his body and you felt his hands move down from your head towards you waist to hold you in place as he got away from the counter carrying you, lips still attached with each other sighing and moaning in each other's mouth as he lead you towards your room.

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You hadn't even check your phone and put it in silent mode just to avoid your group members potentially messaging or calling you to reach you and inform you about something you were purposly trying to ignore.

It was late at night, clearly an hour before the night ends and another day starts as you walked in the direction of your dorm room which was few blocks away from your company's building, where you had been practicing for a stage whole day which wasn't even that important and you had already mastered all of the steps and lyrics.

With that thought in your mind, you took out your phone and you watch as the screen lit up as your pressed your finger on the senser, the first thing to catch your attention among the numerous texts and calls of your members and few of Seventeen's was the date&time displayed.

10:50 PM, 4 October.

You made your way inside your dorm building's lobby still focused on your phone as you deligently cleared your notifications not paying much attention to the surroundings since your dorm's building was never that crowded at such times., at least that's what Jeonghan thought as he watched you made your way towards him or more specifically where the stairs of your dorm room lies, unknown of his presence.

He looked at his wrist where your initials were craved, they were just initials and there maybe hundreds of people with same initials for all he knew but his doubts vanished when he asked your members about the soulmark on your wrist and they informed him about his initials being craved on them. Despite all of this, he followed his gut feelings, he just needed to touch you to confirm everything.

He had been sitting on the stairs for nearly an hour now, his eyes narrowed to get a better look and not miss anything as he focused on the building's gate, hand clasped together tightly, legs tapping the ground beneath, he anxiously waited there to at least see you once before his birthday ends, as if he knew that the only person who was going to cross it anytime soon was you.

It was a terrible idea, he knew but if you weren't going to show any signs of acknowledgement of his presence in your life once again he might as well be shameless for the sake of his feelings cause he was aware that he fucked everything up.

He straightened his back and got up taking a few steps down the stairs to meet you halfway when he noticed you putting your phone back inside your pocket, you were going to notice him now that you weren't focused on anything else.

"Yoon Jeonghan?"

Your voice was a low whisper but he felt his heart skipping a beat as his name rolled off your lips. He was never a fan of his name thinking his parents could have chosen some cooler sounding name but he loved the way you said his name and he suddenly was in love with his formerly not so cool name.

He watched as you sighed softly before siding him but not today he wasn't going to let you off today easily, he was confused if he was being this daring because he couldn't take it anymore or that it was all because today was his birthday and he knew that for you at some point of your life his birthday was one of the most important day.

He blocked your path, his body a little bit more closer than it has ever being in years.

"You didn't attend my birthday party."

"I had other important things to do."

"I just needed few hours of your day if not two, you know."

"I apologize, now if you would excuse me."

His breath hitched, this wasn't going to be easy but he had to do something. He had watched you from afar for a year already and his guilt and conscience was eating him up every time he looked at you or hear about you.

He just needed to talk, to let you know about his feelings, to tell you how he didn't mean any of the thing which had happened in the past in between you both which broke you apart, he needed to tell you how he deserved your hatred rather than the obvious nonchalant attitude you put before him.

He just needed to hear your voice directly talking to him, he needed you to look at him to show any signs that there's still hope cause God knows he wouldn't survive being without you.

"You are free now, I asked your members and they said you don't have any schedule till tomorrow evening so I guess you can spend the last hour of my birthday with me without sacrificing your sleep or anything else."

He knew that if he didn't knew any better, the glare which you sent in his direction would have made anyone else surrender in defeat in seconds, but he kept his cool facade on as he threw you a shit eating grin as if to prove you that you couldn't back off.

You rolled your eyes, hands crossed across your chest clearly feeling frustrated cause you knew that once he made up his mind for anything, he'll do anything to get it done and you spending his birthday's last hour with him was one of it.

You groaned, indirectly telling him that you aren't a big fan of the idea as you turned around towards the building gate once again. You frowned when you look behind after walking a good distance noticing that he was still glued on the same place with a confused expression. You huff in annoyance.

"Are you going to spend the rest one hour standing there or you wanna go outside? I don't mind intentionally wasting this one hour just so you know." with that you turned around once again as you started making your way out of the building.

Jeonghan blinked a few times clearly surprised at your sudden change in behavior. You never let him speak more than two sentence before ignoring him completely but here you were ready to spend an hour with him, just him.

He closed his eyes as he silently thanked his members as well as yours to help him mend his relationship with you at least till this point.

When he first faced you after years of not being in contact, you didn't even behave like you knew him, like he never made your day better, like he never really sing you to sleep, like he never was your high, like he never really existed in your life and he was shattered.

He made a big mistake but he loved you way too much to lose you like that, you didn't deserve it and he was ready to do anything to fix that. A smile plastered on his lips as he started running to catch up with you.

He brought you towards where his car was parked and started driving, no words were exchanged. He took a look at you leaning on the passenger seat lazily, your head on the closed tinted window. He reached towards the button and slightly pulled the window glass down enough for the outside air to enter in.

You frown feeling the glass move as you pushed yourself off to properly sit and shot a glare towards him before looking after what he did. You can't breathe properly due to suffocation when the cars windows are all closed so he pull down the windows enough to let some air in.

You looked at him as he casually continued his driving like doing such things for you was his second nature, well it used to be his second nature and all of the things he was doing was just in his instincts.

It was in his instincts to take care of you, to know what you like, to know what you don't, to know how you like your drink, which things pisses you off. To him you were an open book and never in your life anyone had ever read you the way he did. No one could ever.

"Namsan tower? I thought you would take me to one of those cheesy fancy restaurants or something." you mumbled as you took out your seat belt and head out of the car immediately sighing in relief as the suffocating air of car was now replaced by the fresh air.

Jeonghan got out of the car moments after you did as he observed you.

"This place is more important than those cheesy fancy restaurants for me."

He could sense the awkward aura that surrounded you as both of you made your way towards the tower. It held so many memories, so many moments which both of you still cherish from the bottom of your heart. Maybe taking you here would help him rekindle your relationship.

The familiar road which you had abandoned from years, now that you were walking on it again with the same person who was with you the last time you went there you could tell your emotions were running wild and it was going to be one hell of an hour.

Jeonghan stopped when he reached at the far end of the namsan tower locks as he turn around towards you.

You lift up your eyes from the ground to come directly in contact with his eyes, oh how he managed to still make your heat skip a beat with just one look. You broke the eye contact first as your focus slowly was stolen away by the place you were now standing.

There were hardly any people here, since everyone's major attention seeker was the locks of the tower where the lovers wish for their happy ending and lock it. It was only yours and his place, the end of the namsan's lock. You slowly made your way towards where he was standing few feet away from you and you internally prayed to heavens to make the time flow fast.

"It's still beautiful as it was when we used to come here." you looked at him to see him smiling nostalgically at the memory, the sight of him like that was enough for your breath to get caught, he was still breathtaking you concluded.

He turned towards you when he felt your eyes on him which made you look ahead at the beautiful scenery. Your hands felt cold due to the sudden chilly wind and also because of the rush of emotions inside you, you rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans before putting them back on the railings.

Jeonghan looked at you like he knew that today will mayhaps be the day where either he'll make everything up or fuck everything up all over again and for the first time in years he was so nervous he could feel his heart on his throat.

The last time he felt like that was the time when he sent you a long breakup message on how he fell out of love and was seeing some fellow idol for a quite while behind your back and he couldn't do it anymore. He explained how he got distracted since he spent more time with them as compared to you. He apologized for causing you pain and meeting someone behind your back, he just didn't want to hurt you he said and you just replied with a plain, 'Take care.'

That was it, nothing else. He didn't hear anything from you after that until he saw you in pledis building, this time around as the member of their upcoming girl group.

You didn't yell at him like he expected you to, you didn't hurt him in return, you just completely erased yourself from his life like he never existed. You changed your apartment, he found his things were still there, you didn't take anything with you. Not a single thing. And then it hit him that maybe, maybe he lost something which was very dear to him.

Thinking about the past made him rethink about his boldness that he put up today. He had zero idea how you took the breakup. He was sure you were hurt, devastated, broken up but he didn't know if you hated him for what he did, resented him, still loved him, forget him, cried over him for days, were just angry at him and wished he died instead, cursed him or anything else.

Your feelings regarding the breakup remained an enigma to him till this date, he wasn't sure what was in your mind when you saw him, when you first heard him.

He suddenly felt self conscious about himself, he didn't even properly breakup with you, just a text and you didn't deserve such nonchalant behavior of his, at least he should have told you all of this in person.

But how could he, both of you were not in contact with each other for months since he had recently debuted with Seventeen and was busy with promotions and going out with some other idol to even care about if he contacted you or not cause you were too understanding and too good for him.

He took a deep breath, shivering as he pulled out one of his hands from his hoodie's pocket and gently taking your hand in his and intertwining it, if it was the regular Jeonghan today he was sure he would have run away from the mess he created rather than facing it, but today was different today he actually had something to gain or lose.

Your head snapped towards him in an instant, disbelief portrayed on your face as you look in between your intertwined hands and his face. He put your intertwined hands back inside his hoodie's pocket, ignoring the loud beating of his heart and the obviously frustrated glare you were throwing towards him. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves down, God this was just him holding your hand like he did countless of time yet he was so nervous.

"We always used to do this back then, your hands get cold easily so I used to hold your hand and put it inside the pocket to make you feel more warm."

He let out a breath he didn't even know he held slowly looking towards you as you were now looking straight ahead and not him. Your facial expressions stiff and a distant look in your eyes.

"What are your intentions Yoon Jeonghan?"

You voice was sharp, to the point and he knew it was meant for him to hurt and for the love of God it did. It broke him. You tried to pull away your hand but he held it tight not letting go. You opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it.

"It's my birthday today, take it as my wish. I want to relive the time I spent with you just like we used to. Just for tonight, I want my girl back."

He looked at you, his eyes pleading you to consider it. You always fulfilled his wishes which he wished on his birthday be it anything, it was like your own little tradition and you promised him that you would fulfill his every birthday wish till your last breath, he just hoped that you still remembered it and that it still applied, it was his only desperate attempt left.

To beg you for your love.

"Please..."

He sounded so delicate, so fragile, so desperate, he knew he had long thrown his reputation and image in the trash can.

"You promised me you would complete all of my birthday wishes whatever they were if I said them to you before the clock hit 12 till your last breath. Are you going to turn your back on your own words?"

He saw you contemplating to say something and then deciding not to then you took a deep breath and stop struggling to pull away your hand from his grasp.

"Okay....just till midnight." he heard you say as you tightly clasped his hand in yours.

His members and yours had been nothing but a blessing in his and yours shattered relationship. They knew what Jeonghan did was wrong and that he deserved what he was going through but his love for you wasn't something which would go unnoticed by anyone.

So they helped him in every way possible to crack your cold heart into the previous warm one and they didn't hesitate to even blackmail you to consider giving him a second chance and that's the soul reason why you were here with him without creating any scene and argument.

He knew you hated being here and you would've left him there alone if it wasn't for your egoistic self taking a toll on your logical self and compile to whatever attacks your members were making towards you when you said you would never consider being with him again. It's like your members knew you like the back of their hands and knew what exactly they had to do for him to have a chance and he mentally made a note to thanks them personally for this.

You felt him leave your hand and move as you stood still on your spot. He moved behind you carefully snaking his one arm around your torso and other around your shoulder as he pulled you in him. The suddenness of moments leaving your mind blank as he buried his head at the crook of your neck. Your body became stiff as you clutch your fist to control yourself.

This was too much for you, you weren't prepared but he had to, scratch that he needed to be close to you. He was going insane, his body and mind getting euphoric just by your mere scent which he was inhaling. He kept on mumbling sorry again and again as if it would change something, anything, he was desperate.

You looked ahead, not uttering even a single word as he poured his heart out as he cried, his face still buried at the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears slipping down from your neck and sipping inside your clothes fabric or your chest. His grip on you tightened almost as if he was scared you would disappear anytime soon and you let him do what he wanted, till midnight.

"I'm sorry babe, I fucked up. I wish we could get back together like we used to and rebuilt our relationship. I love you so fucking much it's actually crazy how I didn't realize I need you this much when I was with you. Guess I took you for granted but please please please I'll do anything to gain you back please don't slip away from me."

And he cried all of the pain and guilt away which built up in him since the time he broke up. He didn't care if your roles in the relationship changed, he didn't care if you treat him nonchalantly, he just wanted you to love him and be with him.

His cries subsidized as the time passed and you could hear him sniffling and rubbing his nose on your clothed shoulder like he always did and you stayed there silently feeling the warmth he radiated.

He removed his hand which was on your torso and held your hand and brought it in front of you both so that your hands were visible to both of you. He pulled down the sleeves of your top revealing your wrist and he could feel his and yours heart beating loudly against his chest at the sight.

Yoon Jeonghan was craved beautifully on your wrist and when he pulled the sleeves of his own hoodie up you could feel your eyes well up by noticing your name craved on his wrist right beside where your hand was with both of your names side by side.

"I love you." he simply said as he hit his head lightly on your shoulder too tried to utter another word or explain anything else. He did everything he could do and all that was left now was those three words.

"I love you too." you replied as he turn you around to face him, the shock clearly evident on his face like he wasn't expecting this. He didn't even expect you to say its okay yet alone those three words back. But before he could say something, you did.

"I loved you too damn much and I know I'll keep on doing it. Cause all you ever taught me was how to love and I'm filled with you."

He wiped the tears which slipped from your eyes as he mumbled how sorry he was that you had to go through so much pain alone.

"I love you, Yoon Jeonghan...but you betrayed your love and your times up."

With that you pushed yourself away from him, the distant and cold look coming back on your face as you left him there, alone. You stopped a cab and got in never turning back and once he came back to his senses he realized what you did. You gave him a taste of his own medicine. You let him make a fool of himself in front of you and ditched him in the end, just like he did.

He turned around to look for you but all he could see was moving cars and empty surrounding he called for you thinking that you were playing some sort of prank but little did he know that he was wrong.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, his hands clutching on the sheets as he propped himself up. He rubbed his face grabbing his head due to the unbearable headache he felt. He dreamed about his birthday again, it was slowly becoming like a nightmare to him, a nightmare which he knew had already happened.

"You're up."

He ignored his thoughts when he felt like he heard your voice, confusion laced on his face as he slowly lift his head up to see your figure leaning on the doorframe of the bed. You pulled yourself off the leaning position as you threw him a small smile before going out of the room and coming back with a tray in your hands.

You sat in front of him, the blanket was splayed across his lower half as your legs came in contact with his, confirming that it was all real.

"Is your head hurting? The hangover must have hit hard considering you drank everything in one go. Drink this and you'll feel at ease."

You handed him the drink which you made and put aside the tray. His head lingered around the words you just muttered hangover? Drank everything in one go?

"Aren't you going to drink it?" you voice brought him back, his focus once again on you. You hand made contact with his forehead and then back and his arms as you tried to feel his body temperature.

"You didn't caught fever did you?" you asked concernly. He shook his head, he was fine but he wasn't sure about anything other than that.

His eyes landed on your shirt, the one which was somewhat too big for you, half of it was tucked neatly inside your shorts. He realized it was his shirt and after that everything started to fall into places as memories of last night started flooding inside his head.

"Where were you? I didn't see you here when I woke up." he said after he drank the drink you made.

"Hyungjae came to ask me about my schedule so that we could work together on writing the song for his upcoming song."

"You went outside the apartment to meet him, like this?" he questioned as he eyed you form. You were wearing his shirt, the purple marks from last night still visible on your neck even though your hair were kept loose and shorts.

"What's the problem in this? He was just outside the door I could've even gone in my pajamas and he wouldn't have care less."

You shrugged as if it didn't bother you at all about the fact that Hyungjae was also present at the party yesterday and surely knew what Jeonghan wore and then he came to meet you and you were wearing his shirt.

It was as if you had indirectly told Hyungjae that you belonged to him and that boy never shut up but Jeonghan didn't mind about it what he minded was if you were okay with that.

"Come on I'm in the kitchen freshen up and have some breakfast with me."

He watched as you got up and headed outside the door was this actually reality? Didn't you say that he betrayed you and that you have nothing to do with him? He thought whatever you did last night was something done under the influence of alcohol in your system but he guessed you just drank purposely to avoid backing off.

He quickly made his way towards your bathroom and did his morning routine. He looked at himself in the mirror, he was shirtless since you were wearing his and he had his pants on, some of the marks of last night still visible on his upper body reminding him that you are waiting for him at the kitchen so he made his way towards it.

He saw you seated on the kitchen counter eating up ice-cream when he saw you looking at him.

"I was going to make breakfast but then it dawned me how tired I'm from last night and I lost all of my will to do anything. Will you make breakfast?"

His could feel his ears turning red after hearing you say that, a laughed escaped your lips watching him get so flustered as you motioned him to come closer to you and he did. He came towards you and you put the container of ice cream aside, your hands cradling his face to kiss his forehead, nose and then his lips.

He looked at you for a second before wrapping his hands around your body lazily, you leaned in again and he let his body relax against you and let you take the lead. You wrapped your legs around his torso bringing him more close and he sighed into the kiss. The kiss was lazy and slow like you were just trying to remember the way he felt close to you.

You pull away breathing softly as your eyes were still closed, the feeling of his lips still lingering on your own, he put his forehead on yours sighing contently.

"Are you fine?" his voice was a bit hoarse due to kissing, you opened your eyes taking look at him. You smiled pecking his lips again before removing some of the strands of hair fallen on his face.

"You still look so ethereal when the afterglow hits you." you said making him even more flustered if he wasn't already.

"I always asked you to never say it to me, it makes me flustered." he whined as he hide his face at the crook of your neck in embarrassment. Although he was embarrassed he couldn't help but feel at ease listening you talking about the things you did together in the past.

"Why did you suddenly decided to change?" he coughed as he asked you trying to remove the hoarseness in his voice.

"If you don't remember, you said you wish for us to get back together and rebuilt our relationship and I promised you I would grant all of your birthday wishes."

You smiled recalling the memories you made with him, his birthday few months prior and his confession was something you couldn't take off your head for weeks and then you decided to talk it out with Joshua since he already found his soulmate.

After talking with Joshua, you started figuring out your own feelings towards Jeonghan cause all you had even done was push aside anything related to him to not get hurt but when you actually started thinking about it you realize that if Jeonghan was ready to risk it all for you, the least you could do was give me a chance to do so and although you knew it would take sometime to trust him and love him like you did at some point you were determined to test the bond which fate had given a chance to.

"Although it took me sometime to actually consider all of this, I wasn't sure, I never have been but I guess in the end when it comes to you, there's no going back and also there must be a reason the fate tied us together right?"

You felt him smile against your lips, the weight on his shoulder was lifted finally letting him have the peace. He hugged you tight, too afraid that this moment was nothing more than a dream and he didn't want to wake up.

Having you say those words, he felt he could finally sleep at night without feeling the burden and he realized that when you love someone your ego and reputation should be thrown out of your body cause in the end you were the only thing that mattered to him, his lover, his life, his soulmate who had touch him in million ways possible.

"I love you, han." you whispered as you heard him chuckle making you frown.

"I was so used to hear to call me Yoon Jeonghan that Han felt like a distant memory to me but now it had unlocked many different kinds of emotions I kept buried inside the deepest corners of my heart. I think being with you once again there are going to be so many nostalgic rides down the memory's lane and I'm ready to risk it all for you."

With that he rubbed his nose against you as he turn around towards the gas stove to start preparing for the breakfast. He felt you hug him from behind mumbling how you were hungry and that he should hurry up, he was actually looking forward for his days now.

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"The one who let me know and see myself, you are my only flower. If you bloom forever in my heart then it's okay for me to get hurt."

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agl03 · 4 years

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By popular demand, LEAKED Promo Pic Breakdown: AOS Series Finale

If you sent in an ask specifically about any of the leaked promo pics consider it answered here. If I still did not answer your specific question go ahead and resend.

First up we have the staggering 3 Pictures the Press Site Originally intended and the 1 picture they gave to TV GUIDE which in true AOS fashion are all of the same scene just with close ups.

As I’ve said in previous asks I don’t think that is Fitz they are looking at, if so I think Deke would be more in the thank goodness Bobo is finally here face vs a wtf face. And now thanks to the Leak I can pretty much confirm that it was....

Kora.

Who looks to have a bone to pick with Daisy and really we are trying to escape here so if Sousa and Mack could just come and knock her out real quick or if Daisy can just get this over with fast we’ll be on our way. However, I am a bit on the fence if May was able to get through to her and nothing would set up Nathaniel killing her like Kora betraying him and helping his rival Daisy and his meal tickets to Fitz get away.

I shall pause for the collective aww of Jemma sleeping on her very protective grandson’s shoulder. They’ve been through a lot and I love how we’ve been able to see their relationship grow over the season. Its everything I’ve been wanting since the second we learned who he was.

Clearly they have been taken onto one of the Chronicoms ships, either for them to continue to interrogate, as bait for Fitz knowing that he will tear the Universe for Jemma Simmons, or as hostages to use against Shield. The second picture to me looks like almost a more candid photo that could have been taken between sets but it could just be some more lovely bonding.

Daisy to the rescue! However, I get some major bad vibes from this here. Jemma looks almost afraid of Daisy (who likely quaked her way in) and doesn’t seem to know who she is. Meaning Diana had to block a lot of other people when she blocked Fitz out. Hopefully I’m wrong here and Jemma is just upset because Daisy is freaking out about the whole “Who is Fitz?” thing too.

And we are making for the exits! Hazzah bearing in mind we run into Kora shortly after this.

TV Guide Pic Explained above.

Jemma is simmonsing, trying to explain something. Perhaps about Diana, perhaps what she remembers about the plan and something they have to do while on said Chronicom ship. Really these are shots in the dark. The blue lights could mean the Chronicom ships are about do do something or its an early state of oh look trespassers. We do see the lights red in the Promo with Mack.

HELLO MORE WE HAD TIME FLASHBACKS!

And we can add another theory hit to the list! Looks like Fitz is using the Framework and I could be in the minority but I’m glad to see it. It was so heartbreaking in Season 4 to see something he built to protect Jemma and his friends twisted into a hellish nightmare prison. I am more than thrilled that he looks to have been able to put it to good use here and is either using it to keep an eye on the Chronicoms, which him in “Framework Mode” would leave him absolutely exposed. Or he’s using it as a way to build the tech faster. My guess is here is where the realize they’ve found a way to spy on the Chronicoms, they are testing something, or had some other ah ha moment.

Also worth noting is a pregnant Jemma there in the background, complete with a baby bump.

Fitzsimmons in the cock pit of the Zephy. Jemma looks tired, man I feel you girl, but Fitz looks oh so hopeful.

I mean.

I’m just.

I know I said I would die on that hill and have been for over a year now. But to see it, actually see it coming is still super overwhelming in a way.

But there she is! SECRET CHILD CONFIRMED!!!!!!!

Working and playing alongside her parents as they continue to prep for the final mission. Also happy to see Jemma’s frown turn upside down by her little ray of sunshine there.

I don’t know what this thing is, I have my theory that I’ll go into below, but whatever it is gong to be insanely important. Not only that Jemma is the one who is going to have to assemble and activate the dang thing.

Hence the practicing, even while blindfolded, working it into her muscle memory. Because Jemma Simmons excels at preparation.

My guess is this is where Fitzsimmons explain how it works to us. I’m going with this sucker is how the frack we get Fitz back from wherever the crap he is. And you’ll see why below after he’s made his Grand Entrance.

And could explain her look of concern here. Concern she won’t get it right when the time comes. I also find it odd we have almost different variations of the same scene here or if its a Fitz wakes up and sees she’s concerned.

The we thought Inescapable was straight out of fan fic....well the finale leak says hold my beer. Jemma doing some light reading about the cosmos and taking notes even has mean leaning to them going with a more celestial name to speak to the “one of these days we’ll find something magnificent out in space” quote from Season 3 that came as they offically became cannon.

And then Fitz shows up with Tea, so this could be when we learn their daughters name or Jemma has figured something out to do with the Chronicoms and space and timey whimey stuff. I am rooting for option A.

I’ll take Fitz Kool Aid Manning in for $1000

And for like 10 seconds after he lands he runs the risk of being shot and/or quaked into next Tuesday. Also LOVE the parallel to Deke’s helmet and first appearance.

That glowy ball thing there looks very similar to the device that Jemma was working with in the earlier pics. So hence its the Fitz summoning device.

I’m calling this one with Jemma clinging to Deke here as confirmation that Diana is still in full force and she has no idea who Fitz is. May’s hand up there in the middle could be her warning him of Jemma’s fear or May letting Jemma know he means her no harm.

Also Enver wins the pose off for this pic.

Collective team surprise at Fitz once again appearing impossibly out of no where.

Based on the WTF looks on pretty much everyone’s faces I’m calling this Fitzsimmons Fitzsimmonsing what the heck the next step is how they they’ve unlocked Fitz as a playable character. And bonus shock that they had a Secret Kid all stashed away all this time too.

I also had a few asked about the helmet there on the table. If the Framework is how Fitzsimmons were able to hack into the Chronicoms systems (turn about is fair play) then I think that helmet on the table was how Fitz was hooked up to it. And it definitely looks different than the one he made his grand entrance in wearing. Jemma activating the device could be what pulled him out and to her. Jemma was literally the ONLY key to getting at Fitz.

And for the Dousy fans out there! Sousa is kinda digging the crazy plan Fitzsimmons just laid out and are they in the Playground or Koenig Bar? Either one I appreciate its not blown up.

Okay there you guys go. I left out just a few of the pics that were super close ups or seemed to be more of BTS than from the shot kind of thing. Have to say it was a very nice surprise to get to do this one more time and on a theory that has been so near and dear to my heart.

#aos spoilers #aos finale spoilers #secret child is real #fitzsimmons #dousy #i'm so happy #and tired #and oh so happy #but also really tired #I think I've earned a bath and retail therapy

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makeste · 4 years

Note

I’ve just realised it’s been over a year since you last listed your top 10 characters! Has anything changed since then?

a lot has changed! actually, every single ranking has changed from last time except for one (which you can probably guess, lol).

1. Bakugou (previous rank: 1)

yes, believe it or not, Bakugou is still my favorite. I’ll understand if you all need a moment to recuperate from the shock of this.

2. Deku (previous rank: 4)

hi, so. I really love Deku a lot. I think he is a great character and there’s a lot of subtlety and complexity to him that he doesn’t always get credit for. he is loving and kind, but he’s not a pushover. he has moments of deer-in-headlights anxiety when he’s in the spotlight or talking to celebrities (or girls), but then he’ll go and launch into a five-hour speech if someone mentions a topic he’s interested in. he’s very much aware of the huge burden that’s been placed on his shoulders, and is struggling to figure out how to become his own person (which is fucking hard, you guys; how many sixteen-year-olds do you know who have a solid, firm idea of who they are as a person and what it is about themselves that makes them unique individuals?) while still living up to All Might’s legacy. he’s smart and determined and capable of extraordinary things, but second-guesses himself and has a tendency to overthink everything he does. he is interesting!! and he doesn’t always get credit for being interesting! but he is! anyways Deku ilu.

3. Aizawa (previous rank: 2)

still the best. still so tired. the manga is tripling down lately on highlighting how awesome he is. childhood angst and guilt and trauma?? yes. kicking lots of ass?? hell yes. being outrageously sexy with his floating wavy hair and glowy red eyes and spending almost this entire arc in Eraser Mode while Horikoshi hopes to god no one remembers how he made it a Whole Thing after USJ that Aizawa supposedly couldn’t hold his quirk for long periods like that anymore?? oh, you bet. who is even gonna complain about it. you?? I sure am not. and last but not least, being the greatest dad in the world who’s willing to stab god in the face in order to stay alive to protect his children and continue to watch them grow?? fam. you goddamn know that is a YES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. how can one character honestly be so great. how can he even contain it. he’s so powerful.

4. Todoroki (previous rank: 5/6)

Ochako slid all the way off my top ten list and I feel so bad about it. but she hasn’t had the spotlight for a long time, and meanwhile Shouto has had what feels like ARC AFTER ARC of being awesome and doing awesome things like becoming Bakugou’s Undisputed Best Friend, having the longest and purest canon romantic relationship in the series (I am of course talking about him/soba), and playing a key role in one of the most beautifully executed family arcs I have ever seen, with his conflicted feelings about his father that are so layered that THEIR LAYERS HAVE LAYERS. and meanwhile his quirk kicks as much ass as ever. remember that one time Shouto almost burned Tetsutetsu alive. remember that other time he fucking annihilated Ending (“GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER”)?! and meanwhile he remains the goodest and purest child in the entire series, making sure Mt. Lady’s heart is okay, and offering his two friends internships without a second’s hesitation because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO. it’s just what they do you guys.

5. Hawks (previous rank: n/a! welcome to the top ten kiddo.)

OH NO I LOVE A MURDERER WHAT A STUNNING INDICTMENT OF ME. send me off to jail. anyway so I have always liked Hawks, but the latest arc has sent him skyrocketing up through the ranks of my heart. not because of the murder thing, but... okay well but actually, it is because of the murder thing though. NOT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY HE KILLED A GUY WE ALL LOVED, jesus, but because of how well Horikoshi portrayed his struggle over it. he didn’t want to do it!! but he ended up having to in the end, and he paid one hell of a heavy price for it. and listen, but if you give me a character who is smart, who is compassionate, and who is one of the most mentally and physically capable characters we’ve seen in the series and yet simultaneously does not have even the slightest ounce of regard or self-preservation for his own mental health? a character who is tired, who is willing to make sacrifices up to and including the ultimate sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good? a character who is achingly alone and isolated in so much of what he has to go through, who doesn’t dare drop his guard ever, who’s not able or willing to share his burdens with anyone else? if you give me a character like that, and then ask me not to love him, it’s like. I am very sorry but I truly have no say in it at this point. he’s adopted. I’m sorry it’s the law.

6. Tomura (previous rank: n/a)

OH NO I LOVE TWO MURDERERS WHAT EVEN IS WRONG WITH ME. hahaha. so in between the time of now and when I last did a character ranking, Tomura had a flashback! and it was very traumatic! he was little and sweet and his dad was a dick and there was a lot of blood and gore and a dog died!! and then AFO was all “HELLO IT’S ME COME TO SWOOP IN AND ADOPT YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KILL STUFF AND ALSO HERE ARE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S SEVERED BODY PARTS TO ADORN YOURSELF WITH SO YOU NEVER STOP FEELING MISERABLE.” and everyone sitting there reading was all, “well I’ll just come out and say it, I can sort of understand why he became a murderer now,” and we all agreed that yes, it did indeed make a great deal of sense, when you put it that way. anyway, so obviously you can’t not feel empathy toward the kid after all that, even if he is going around killing A WHOLE LOT MORE people now, and has basically gone batshit insane actually. I remain steadfast in my conviction that Tomura is not the actual final villain -- AFO is. and call me crazy, but in spite of everything, I still think this kid has a shot at redemption. it won’t be pretty, and it’ll be a long, long path, and he might not ever fully make it all the way, but he’s someone who’s been manipulated and used as a puppet his entire life, and I want him to have the chance to finally break free from that. hopefully he’ll get it.

7. Mirko (previous rank: n/a)

so previously this section just said “MIRKO!!!!!”, which I honestly think sums it up pretty well. I honestly can’t think of any other character who has come along and just slapped me straight across the face with their sheer awesomeness as much as her, though. every time she’s onscreen/on the page my face is just a huge grin the entire time. she is fearless. like, she’s the type of person who actually does laugh in the face of danger -- like that’s not just an expression, she will LITERALLY LAUGH. she is Peter Pan with a dagger to his throat, smiling and saying “to die would be an awfully big adventure.” she is someone who’s found her purpose in life and is thriving. Mirko has no time for your existential angst; she’s too busy kicking ass every minute of every hour of every day. I love her so, so much. thank you so much Horikoshi for being obsessed with her and making her the biggest badass in the whole series.

8. All Might (previous rank: 3)

I still adore him! he just has had next to nothing to do for what seems like forever, so the other characters who are still getting steady development are kind of just sneaking past him one by one. but he is still the absolute best. he cares so much. so, so, so, so much. he’s not always the most natural when it comes to being a teacher or a mentor, and he stumbles and makes mistakes, but he loves his kids. he cares about them so fiercely. and that’s far and away the most important thing, and it’s not even close. and he’s also just so endlessly self-sacrificing and constantly putting everyone else before himself, and it’s insane. he’s someone who is just constantly thinking, “how can I do more, how can I help more, what else can I do to try and make the world better” even as he stumbles along with half a lung, and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness and feeling like it’s just still not enough. I want to give All Might the biggest hug in the world and tell him that it’s all right, that he did good, that the kids are going to be all right. when Aizawa told him “you being alive is enough” I almost had a breakdown tbh. anyway if I keep going I’m gonna talk myself into moving him back up the list and then I’ll have to rearrange this whole thing lol so suffice it to say, fuck yeah All Might.

9. Momo (previous rank: 7)

when is Momo gonna do more stuff, Horikoshi?? huh??! he does realize that whenever she does stuff it’s always amazing?? so why is she not just constantly doing amazing, awesome stuff all the time?? I don’t know, and frankly I’ve had just about enough of this. let Momo do stuff 2020. but I won’t talk about this anymore for now because I haven’t ready any chapter 278 spoilers and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

(ETA: I HAVE READ CHAPTER 278 NOW AND ALL I CAN SAY IS YESSSSS!!! MOMO!!!! also I swear to god I genuinely had not seen any spoilers when I was writing this post lol, it was a total coincidence. I’m glad the “let Momo do stuff 2020″ campaign was so immediately successful though.)

10. Kaminari (previous rank: 8)

last but not least, my five-and-a-half-year-old traitor son, Kaminari Denki. he is just such a shining beam of light and life and goodness and chaos. there is this amazingly buoyant energy whenever he’s on the page that just fills me with love for him. I constantly just want to ruffle his hair, just, all the damn time. he is everybody’s friend, he loves them all so much, and he fearlessly calls Bakugou “Kacchan” heedless of the repercussions (OF WHICH THERE WERE NONE!!), and he sincerely tells Jirou that he’s in awe of her musical talents, and he wrecked his fingers learning to play guitar for her but he was happy to do it, and he was afraid to fight in the big ALL THE VILLAINS VS ALL THE HEROES battle because DUH!?! but he still did it anyway because he had to protect his friends. and his quirk and its side effects are constantly used for comic relief and not taken seriously at all (even though it’s actually insanely powerful holy shit), but he doesn’t care because he’s happy to make his friends happy. he’ll willingly be the butt of the joke if it means he gets to see them laugh. he just has such a big heart, and in all seriousness, if you think he’s the traitor I just don’t even know what to say to you.

so that’s it! Tokoyami, Ochako, Shinsou, Iida, and Sero would probably be the next five, with Endeavor, Toga, Mina, Jirou, and Mirio rounding out the top twenty. maybe not in that exact order but it’s close enough. really there are only like three characters in the series I actually truly dislike, so I’m honestly glad “top ten” is the general standard otherwise I’d be here all night running through them all lol.

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yet-another-fan-girl9 · 4 years

Text

Inhuman (1)

Summary: All beings in the universe have a soulmate except for Midgardians. People can hear their soulmate in their heads. For almost five hundred and fifty years, Loki believed that he had no soulmate until 1513 when a Midgardian princess was born. Will fate be kind to them or will the universe tear them apart?

Warnings: violence, language, hella historical inaccuracies (I tried to do research but then got lazy), maybe some AOS season 2 spoilers(?)

Word Count: ~3400

A/N: Yay! The re-write is here! I changed it so now there are flashbacks and stuff and the chapters are longer! I’m also posting this chapter a day early because of reasons. Anyways, enjoy!

[New York, New York, March 2024]

‘Soulmates?’ You had never heard of the concept.

‘We are destined to be together. The universe made it so.’

You shot up in bed, a light sheen of sweat covered your body. Loki’s words replayed over and over in your head. You hadn’t heard his actual voice in so long but it was still as clear as if he was speaking to you now. It had been twelve years since you had seen him in Germany and he had tried to take over.

‘We are destined to be together.’

The words echoed in your mind. ‘Destined’ huh? Well, if you’d learned anything from the past four hundred and eighty-six years that you were not with Loki, it’s that the universe does a shit job at keeping you together. You ran your fingers through your hair, easily smoothing out the tangled mess. It was too early to think about Loki.

You slipped out of the silk sheets that covered your king-sized bed in your two-level, top floor Upper East Side penthouse. You were very proud of how far you had come. The view was amazing. You could see some of Central Park from one side and the stereotypical New York skyline from another.

As you walked out of your room, you caught your reflection in one of your full-sized mirrors. And that was definitely a nice view. When you came out of Terrigenesis almost five hundred years ago, you quickly discovered that you were now the blueprint for a perfect person. Straight, white teeth, surprisingly tameable hair, and clear, unblemished skin were some of the visually obvious changes. In addition to your perfected looks, you had increased senses, healing, strength, endurance, and your favorite, pain tolerance. Oh, and don’t forget you basically look twenty-five forever.

You checked your phone while you made breakfast in the kitchen downstairs. There were a couple of emails from your employees on their latest jobs. You opened one from Max, your right-hand man. You were reading over some job offers he had handpicked for you when you got a text from the man himself.

Bringing up some donuts!

Max was the only person from work to have access to your penthouse. He was your best friend. The two of you had met when you were at Afterlife nearly fifteen years ago. He was an Inhuman as well. All of your employees were Inhumans, using their specialties to carry out their jobs. Max had the power to change surfaces. It was a strange power, but he had learned to make it very useful. He could cause his pursuers to slip on the suddenly ice-like ground or climb up a glass skyscraper.

“Hello, bitch! I brought donuts!” Max called from the elevator.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Max walked in holding the goods. He always wore eccentric color-coordinated outfits. Even the times you saw him in stealth mode, he had to have some lace or frill somewhere. Today he wore a mixture of neon green and pink with matching eyeliner.

“Are Cosmo and Wanda disguising themselves as your clothes?” you asked.

“Haha,” he deadpanned. “I knew you were going to say something like that. You’re so fucking funny. Soo…” He plopped the three large donut boxes onto your kitchen counter. “Have you heard of the Avenger’s new quote-unquote recruit?”

“Um, I think it’s your job to keep tabs on heroes.” You opened the nearest box and happily pulled out your favorite donut.

“Okay. Number one: I’m not speaking to you as your right-hand, right now, but as your friend.” He held up his finger. “Number two: it’s not really a job if I do it in my free time anyways. You’re paying me to do something that I do on an hourly basis.”

“You stalk the Avengers on an hourly basis?”

“No? Anyways, number three: it’s Thor’s brother. It’s your Loki.”

“What the fuck?” you choke on your donut. Max was the only person who knew you that you and Loki had a history. And that’s all he knew. Nothing about soulmates or all that shit. “What the fuck, Max? Did you try to use donuts to soften the blow? Stop laughing.”

“I-I wish I had caught that reaction on camera,” he said in between fits of giggles.

“Haha,” it was your turn to deadpan. “Fuck, man. I guess we just have to double our efforts to keep ourselves off of their radar.”

“Do you think they’ve forgiven him for New York?” Max composed himself.

“I mean, they must have if they’re letting him join the team.” You chanced another bite of your donut.

“But lots of people haven’t.”

“Lots of people still haven’t forgiven Barnes,” you pointed out. You didn’t know when or why Loki had attacked New York. That Loki was nothing like the man who you had grown to love back in the 1500s. But you were nothing like that girl either.

“Have you chosen a new job from the list I sent you?” he changed the subject.

“No, not yet, and you have a little…” you motioned to the corner of your mouth.

Max got the hint and wiped some powder off of his mouth. You noticed the sprinkling of grey that was mixed into his curly black hair. He displayed the last fifteen years proudly while you remained unchanged. Max was the closest you’ve been to someone in a long time, and just like everyone before him, you would outlive him. But you would remember him. You remembered everyone. You remembered everything.

Right now, you thought of Agnes, your first real friend. She was your handmaiden and you had met right before everything went to shit. She had helped you cope after you underwent Terrigenesis, although you hadn’t known what it was back then. She had helped you run away and even died for you. You had only known her for nine years, but you compared everyone to her. Max held second place, right after Agnes.

“I think we should take the Senator’s offer,” Max said, jolting you out of your memories. He pulled up the offer on his iPad. “One million to off his upcoming competition.”

“Damn,” you whistled. “He’s desperate, isn’t he? Is there a deadline?”

“No, but I assume we should get it done quickly.”

“Send over the info.”

🌹

You shoved the flower into Jake Morano’s mouth. Blood from the bullet wound in his forehead trickled down until it turned the perfect, white rose red. You snapped a quick photo on your burner phone to send to the Senator as confirmation. With a huff, you looked around the apartment. Mr. Anderson had put up a fight, although it didn’t do anything to deter you and Max. A few glass awards were in pieces on the hardwood floor, family pictures were shattered, and the wall behind you held a couple of bullets from Anderson’s gun.

“All good?” Max asked from his location by the computer. He was deleting all footage of you being there. And everything else, just to be safe.

“Yep.” You walked over to him, your boots making a satisfying clicking on the ground, and proudly displayed the picture of the dead body. “Got the confirmation picture for the Senator. How’s it coming?”

“Almost… there. We’re good to go.”

The two of you left in your favorite black Lamborghini. Unfortunately, you actually had to drive places now that Gordon was dead. You followed his advice, though, and bought a plane along with four other sports cars, a helicopter, and a couple of motorcycles. You knew how to operate every single one of them. What else were you supposed to do except for establishing your contract killing empire?

🌹

Loki stood in the middle of his assigned room with his hands on his hips. It certainly was much nicer than the last prison the Avengers had kept him in. They may say it wasn’t a prison but the twenty-four-hour surveillance from Stark’s new AI said otherwise. Even though it was nicer than the shitty glass cylinder from twelve years ago, it was empty. Thor had shown Loki the few things in his room: books, photographs, and his own goddamned merchandise.

Would Loki have his own merchandise one day? Everyone was redeemable as shown by Romanoff and Barnes. Maybe there would be plastic replicas of his helmet? No, Loki thought that was stupid. Only heroes got merchandise and heroes had to show up to events and sponsor health drinks or whatever the fuck they do. Heroes had to be nice.

Nothing good ever came from being on Midgard. Most recently, there was his father dying, although what followed was worse. Before that was the attack he had been forced to make on the city. And the first time he had ever come to Midgard had ended with disappointment and heartbreak.

Loki sighed and waved his hand to conjure green and gold accents, sheets, and blankets. At least there was color in the room now. No doubt the AI had reported that he had used his magic. He hoped it had also told them that all he did was improve the room, he didn’t need anyone talking to him at the moment.

“Good afternoon, Reindeer Games,” the AI echoed through the room. Loki glowered at the sound of Stark’s nickname. “There is a meeting in Conference Room Five that the entire team is required to attend.”

Loki hadn’t the faintest fucking idea where the conference rooms were. He left his room and caught sight of his brother and the Valkyrie. The God of Mischief followed the pair down to where the meeting was taking place. Did he really want to go? If he wanted to be part of the team he would have to. He preferred the Revengers, though. While it had lasted. It was smaller.

Everyone was sitting around the long table. Of course, Loki would be the last to arrive. Stark and Barton both glared at him when he entered. Understandable. Romanoff remained impassive, but Loki knew she would bash his head in the first chance she got. Rogers had to remain positive that Loki could be redeemed because if the Norse God could redeem himself, then so could Barnes. Bruce had warmed up to Loki on the journey to Midgard. None of the newer members of the team outright hated him, but they were still cautious around him.

Loki found himself sitting in between his brother and Bruce. Stark went up to the screen at the front and everyone fell silent.

“This is Jake Morano.” The screen turned on to show a dead man with a rose stuffed in his mouth. “He was going to run for Senator against this guy.” The screen changed. “This guy is William Anderson, a very corrupt Senator. In the last month, Morano began to gain a lot of support including a sponsor from us. Well, a sponsor from me in the name of the Avengers.”

“Are you implying that Anderson killed Morano?” Rogers asked.

“I’m saying that Anderson hired someone to kill Morano.” The screen changed again to display multiple bodies left with a rose in their mouths. “I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. do a quick search of bodies with roses found in their mouths and we found a shocking amount of similar deaths. The first ones dating back to the nineteen twenties. More recently, some of the deaths have happened at the same time on opposite sides of the globe. Deaths include, but are not limited to, shooting, stabbing, poisoning, drowning, burning, missing organs, being found stuck in a wall, and looking like a suicide. They all have a white rose soaked in blood in their mouths.”

“Are you sure it isn’t a serial killer?” Wilson questioned.

“Yeah, it’s probably not the same guy,” Romanoff pointed out. “Especially if it goes back to before Steve looked like that.”

“It’s gotta be an organization,” Barnes guessed. “Been around for a while, a couple of deaths happening at the same time, and one constant MO.”

“Loki?” Everyone looked at the God of Mischief when Stark said his name. “You’re technically a part of this team now. What’s your opinion?”

“Barnes is probably right,” Loki said after a moment’s hesitation. “The locations are all over the place and there are many different ways the victims met their demise.”

They nodded and Loki returned to silence.

“Alright, game plan.” Stark clapped his hands. “We have to get Anderson into an interrogation room. Round one is the good cops: Steve and Sam. When he doesn’t crack, and he won’t, we up the intensity. Nat and the Manchurian Candidate will do some intimidation. If he still doesn’t crack we can send in Wanda, or even Reindeer Games if she’s not comfortable, to search his mind.”

“Are all Midgardian politics like that?” Loki heard the Valkyrie ask Thor after the meeting. Thor only shrugged so she turned to Bruce.

“I mean, I haven't been here in a while but it’s always kinda been fucked up.”

Only an hour after the meeting, Anderson took out one million dollars in cash. Stark tracked him to a small cafe where he was going to, no doubt, pay the assassin. The team rallied, but of course, Loki wasn’t going. Apparently, he wasn’t ‘cleared’ yet. The only other people staying behind were the Valkyrie, Thor, and Barton due to a recent injury.

Loki went to his room to sulk, although he told everyone he was thinking. He didn’t want to be here. Maybe he wanted to go somewhere that reminded him of home with tall buildings that reached the sky…

🌹

"Hello, (Y/N)." Loki’s voice was as smooth as it was in your head, but it was different. The only way you could describe it was that it was solid. It felt less intimate. Like he could bless others with his words, but it was more special because he was here.

"Loki," you breathed.

"You look more beautiful than I ever could imagine." He stepped closer.

You touched your hair self-consciously. There were multiple knots, and it probably looked like one of those bird nests the dogs always knocked out of trees. You had woken up in a hurry and your hair being trapped in the hood of your cloak probably didn't help.

Then it occurred to you that you were wearing only your nightgown, and you tightly wrapped your cloak around yourself. Loki wouldn’t hurt you, but no man has seen you in an outfit so revealing. Still, you took another step closer.

"I do not know what to say." Fortunately, your voice didn’t shake or waver as you had feared, but Loki could probably feel your nervousness.

You both took a final step closer. You reached up and cupped Loki's face in your hand which tingled slightly when you made contact. You admired his sharp features and bright blue-green eyes. Then you shivered in the cold winter air. Loki noticed and pulled you into a hug. You leaned into him and felt a shiver, a different, better shiver, shoot through your body.

“You’re real.” Your soft voice was almost lost in the biting wind. “I was so scared that I was dreaming.”

Another goddamned dream about Loki? You groaned into your pillow and pushed a few damp strands of hair away from your face. Why now, all of a sudden? Was it because he was so close? Just a few hours upstate in the Avenger’s compound.

Pushing the dream aside, you stretched and got ready for the day. You had sent the photo to the Senator, who you had learned was very fucking corrupted, and he replied with a location. That changed your plans a bit, you hadn't physically met a client in decades, but it was for the better for multiple reasons.

The first reason was that the cafe he had chosen was next to a flower shop where you got your supply of roses. The second reason was that it meant his apartment would be empty. While you went to get the money, and eventually kill Senator Anderson, Max was going to rob his house. It wasn’t something you’d usually do, but honestly, the shitty asshole deserved it.

Your lips were painted red and you wore your usual boots and a leather jacket. Your regular hair was hidden behind a pink and green wig, courtesy of Max. A baseball cap and large sunglasses further hid your appearance. Though if somebody knew your face, the hat and glasses did nothing. There were multiple knives hidden on your body as well as a handgun tucked into your waistband and a pocket pistol in your, well, pocket.

As you walked into the cafe, Izzy, the auburn-haired florist, nodded to you. She had Botanokinesis, plant manipulation, so your supply of white roses was never low. Every once in a while, Izzy would take a job but she had told you she was very happy in her shop.

You noticed the Senator immediately. He still wore a suit and the sunglasses did nothing to hide his identity. There were two young women behind the counter and you suspected that the four other ‘customers’ were too buff not to be the Senator’s security. Anderson had his back to the door which meant you would have to get past his security to get out. You zeroed in on the black briefcase on the ground by his feet.

“Senator,” you greeted and sat down across from him.

“You can’t possibly be the one I talked to,” the asshole replied. “You’re just a girl.”

“Well of course I couldn’t be,” you rolled your eyes behind your heavily tinted glasses. “My boss is too busy and smart to meet you in public.” He didn’t notice your sarcasm. You pulled out the burner phone and showed him the messages as proof. “Now, I’m also busy so if we can get this over with?”

“Sure, darling.” He put the briefcase flat on the table and pushed it towards you.

“Open it.” Even though small boobie traps wouldn’t hurt you much, it wasn’t a piece of information you wanted to give him.

Anderson sighed and complied. Then you turned it around to quickly inspect the contents. One thousand one hundred dollar bills. Hello Mr. Franklin. You nodded in satisfaction and comically rubbed your hands together to inconspicuously grab a knife that was hidden up your sleeve.

“Thank you, Senator. That will be all.”

You closed the case, stood up, and plunged your knife deep into his left carotid artery. As his security descended upon you, you pulled the knife out and his neck satisfyingly squirted blood. The Senator collapsed with his hands clutching his wound desperately. The pool of blood rapidly grew underneath him.

The two baristas screamed behind the counter and the Senator’s security drew their guns. You flipped the small table for cover as bullets pierced the cafe’s window behind you. Perfect. Just a bit more.

You pulled out the handgun from your waistband and with practiced ease, shot three of the four goons. The last one got the bloodied knife to the face. You elbowed the already damaged window and it finally broke, raining glass down on you. Ignoring the small cuts, you jumped out of the cafe through the window as a familiar red and gold suit landed in front of you. Why the fuck were the Avengers here? What about Loki?

You darted into Izzy’s shop and she played her part well, screaming that you had run out the back when you had actually gone into the side room. You listened as the Avengers followed her directions. One person, maybe it was the Black Widow, stayed behind to help calm down the seemingly hysterical Izzy. If she wasn’t so happy at her shop and she didn’t want to work directly for you, she could be a great actress.

You rolled back the rug on the ground to reveal a metal trapdoor. You entered the code to unlock it and climbed down into the darkness. Behind you, you heard the trapdoor’s magnetic lock click back into place. Two centuries ago, you had tunnels dug underneath Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens for easy getaways. If you went… that way, you would end up in Sandra’s souvenir shop which was a couple of blocks away from your penthouse.

With a million dollars in one hand and a handgun in the other, you walked down the concrete tunnel.

Taglist:

@kaithehero @liliannyah @andreasworlsboring101 @oatballsoffury @aberrant-annie

#inhuman #loki x reader #loki x soulmate reader #loki #mcu #marvel #avengers #Captain america #steve rogers #iron man #tony stark #hawkeye #clint barton #natasha romanoff #black widow #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch

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tyrantofthefirmament · 3 years

Text

The Gift

Ice cold spring air whipped across Starscream’s fuselage as he banked into the wind. This was the most perfect flying weather they’d had in some time - dry air, steady, low winds, and only a few thin cirrus clouds well out of the way overhead, splashing a striated iridescence across an otherwise crystal clear sky.

Below, Starscream kept a watchful optic on his own Cirrus, as the younger Seeker went through his 8 point hesitation roll practice. Weather this fine made Starscream want to fly wild and free, but it was good to take advantage of the calm winds for precision training.

Cirrus was getting good at this. His telemetry fed live to Starscream as he practiced, and everything - his roll, his control of his ailerons on the pauses, the level of his nose - was so well regulated it was almost soothing. They would go over it later, but it would only be fine tuning at this point. Pride and contentment filled his Spark as he sent Cirrus a ping to take a break and transition back to 4 point rolls for a while.

But contentment never sat right with Starscream. He couldn’t trust it.

As he circled wider, over the growing construction site and radar tower, worry crept in. The foundation of a new spire was underway, but he’d halted construction on the earlier ones. They would continue to build, but outwards, not upwards. Not yet. Save for the necessary radar tower, he didn’t dare build higher than the crater wall. It would draw attention.

His thoughts turned automatically to the tally that ran always in a corner of his mind, pushing Cirrus’s telemetry to the background. Assets versus liabilities. Progress versus setbacks. Where did he stand? Where could he afford to extend himself? Was he spread too thin?

His recent overtures with Ultra Magnus stood out. That was progress. But it was also a risk. He’d offered Energon Seekers in a bid to stabilize the alliance and demonstrate that he had trained soldiers to spare, but the truth was he could barely spare them. Still, it would be worth it. And he needed the bluff. Ultra Magnus had already guessed where he was building. Vos couldn’t stay hidden much longer...

Even now, Ultra Magnus couldn’t be the only one who knew.

What would your followers think if they saw you now?

Megatron’s words came back to him, as chilling now as they had been when the warlord had him cornered. More so. Every day that passed was a day Megatron’s whim could turn from warning to action. He had to know where to strike by now.

I know you, Seeker! Are you really going to ask me how I knew?

Megatron did know him, better than anyone alive. How many times had his former master rubbed his predictability in his face? How many times had he, Starscream, so cunning and sharp, been the one outmaneuvered and taken by surprise? How many times since-

A flash of sunlight from somewhere - a ruined spire, the melted ground, or maybe a memory - hit Starscream’s optics and he was back. Back on Trypticon amid cheering Seekers in the moments before the reports began to come in and that terrible silence fell. In the clear air around him his mind supplied raining metal and flaming Seekers all thrown together and falling.

Falling!

An altimeter alert jerked Starscream back to the here and now, but he only had to correct slightly for some disorientation. The alert was from Cirrus’s feed!

He located the purple silhouette in an instant, far below, seeming in control but heading nearly straight down.

::Cirrus!:: he commed, already speeding down to intercept him. ::What’s your status?::

The reply was a burst of static but he could make out the word “landing”.

::Your approach is too steep! And you’re headed for rough ground. Level off and make another attempt!::

::I can’t! Um, I’ll try.:: Cirrus rocked dangerously as he tried to pull out of his dive, and he didn’t have much room left. To make matters worse, he reduced thrust and lost more altitude, then overcorrected with a jerk that froze Starscream’s Spark.

::Keep your speed up! Steady on your elevators. Don’t spin.:: Starscream passed him, and couldn’t see anything wrong. Something was clearly wrong though. Crunching relative velocities in his head as sped downward, he positioned his wing just below Cirrus’s nose.

::Listen - this is going to be a bad landing, but trust me. We’re low enough for this to work.:: He didn’t tell Cirrus they were so low this might be the only thing that would work. ::When I say go, you extend all flaps! Then I’m going to push you from below. As soon as you’re heading up, you transform and land. Understood?::

More static.

::CIRRUS! I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM!:: The window Starscream had calculated was closing rapidly, but if Cirrus didn’t do his part they could both be killed.

::U-understood!::

::Get ready.:: Starscream reduced speed, dropping directly underneath Cirrus.

::GO!:: Starscream spent the next instants doing several things. He transformed, getting enough of a glimpse of Cirrus as his plating whirled around to see him extend flaps as planned. Before his body fully rebuilt itself he transformed again, jet mode pointing upwards now, with Cirrus’s nose just passing above him. His turbines hadn’t even had time to spin down, and now he fired his full afterburner, slamming against the bottom of the other jet.

The collision shattered his cockpit and brought a cascade of system alerts, but Starscream ignored them. He stalled himself and transformed yet again, dropping heavily to the ground on one knee, already frantically searching for Cirrus along their trajectory. A moment later Cirrus landed hard, too fast to keep his footing, and rolled several times before coming to a stop.

When Starscream got to him he wasn’t moving, but he was alive and in one piece save for some missing control surfaces. His wings looked ragged as a result, and he was leaking where his knees and elbows had hit the ground. Overall he appeared to be in shock, trembling and holding his head in his hands.

“Cirrus!” Starscream checked his head and neck cables, then helped him sit up. That snapped Cirrus out of his numb panic, and he collapsed forward onto Starscream and began to cry. In that state he seemed even bigger, with all his plating bristled open to dump heat. Some of the heat was from flying, but Starscream knew the ammonia he was giving off wasn’t from damaged coolant lines. All of Cirrus’s vents were weeping as his cooling system boiled off heat from the terror that gripped him.

Adjusting his balance so he could bear Cirrus’s weight while kneeling, Starscream let his own plating open up. Once they were both cooled down, he would bridge them to the medbay. For now he just rubbed the back of Cirrus’s neck and his shoulder, and accepted the talons digging into his own wing roots, and the boiling tears against his neck cables where Cirrus’s face was buried.

“Starscream I- I’m sorry!” Cirrus choked through a burst of static. “I forgot all your lessons! I-”

“Shh.” Starscream patted his shoulder. “You recovered. You focused.” He tried to force the fear out of his own voice, without much success. Truly another second longer would have been fatal. He let Cirrus get out another bout of trembling sobs before slowly leaning back to look at him. “Tell me what happened. Did something go wrong?”

Cirrus sat up and shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Everything was fine, but then- I got really scared. It felt like... like something terrible was going to happen, and I didn’t want to be there. Like I would die if I stayed. That’s why I tried to land.” He looked at Starscream and drew his knees up, curling up and hiding his face as he began to cry again. “I didn’t mean to go too steep. I was so scared! The sky-”

Starscream wiped the look of bewildered horror off his face too late, so all he could do was shift so he was sitting beside Cirrus, and talk. “We’ll figure it out. Once you’re repaired and rested, we’ll figure it out.”

How they would do that was beyond him. He was never able to fix his own panic attacks, let alone anyone else’s. But there was more. Cirrus’s words described exactly what Starscream had felt leading up to and during his flashback.

Just as Shockwave had predicted.

#drabble #drabble my ass it's more like a novel #poor cirrus was a big poofed out scared baby bird #potted plant son #new year new story developments woohoo!!!!#cut for length #this is the short version T^T #there wasn't supposed to be an action sequence that just sort of happened #i cut a lot of other stuff

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quillyfied · 5 years

Text

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 1

OH BOY Y’ALL IT’S HERE

This is the first string of fics I would wholeheartedly recommend from my bookmarks (probably first of three, we’ll see). There are 65 fics sorted into 9 categories: Jaunts Through History/Canon; South Downs; Post-Apocalypse; Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell; AU/UA (UA is Universe Alternate, where everything is the same, just...a bit to the left. I feel like that term has more nuance, idk); Soft; Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings; Bonus; H/C /Whump/BAMF. These will be the same categories for every fic rec post in this vein. I try to include warnings for sex and gore, if applicable, but please check the tags of each fic before you read, just in case.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I BROKE A LINK OR MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING.

I don’t read explicit works and I’m not a big fan of Human!AUs so there’s not any of those, but there’s a bit of just about everything else. Please enjoy! Hope the ReadMore works, sorry for folks on mobile if it doesn’t!

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Bright With His Splendour – Daegaer (T, specifically book-verse. This is an exquisite look at the developments in Crowley himself, especially as it relates to his war-related traumas in the War in Heaven and later WWI. The Arrangement is Aziraphale’s idea here, which is awesome. Highly emotional and visceral.)

2. Whatever Road We Choose – @ri-writing (T, the one where Aziraphale gets jumped by some demons and Crowley nurses him back to health, and Aziraphale has to confront his worldview when he realizes Heaven never responded to his call for help. Quiet and powerful as Aziraphale starts to realize Crowley isn’t everything he thought he was and maybe Heaven isn’t, either.)

3. Linked – @chekhov (T, the one where Crowley shows up in Bukhara and Aziraphale has to pretend to capture him so his angel intern doesn’t destroy Crowley entirely. Has a lot of fun moments and emotional growth in play. And yearning. Lots and lots of yearning.)

4. The Demon Favourite – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley is posing as a nobleman and manages to build himself a little ramshackle family, and Aziraphale takes care of them when Crowley gets himself discorporated. Extremely tender, lots of Crowley cooing over babies.)

5. Akashic Records – @penig (Generally G, one T, the series where Crowley is head-over-heels from the start and broadcasts it loudly, and Aziraphale is in Panic Protective Mode. The series is gorgeous and vibrant, the characterizations are so spot-on and yet fresh, the dialogue is perfect, the character growth is delicious. I can’t gush enough about this one.)

6. But The Old Love Was Not So – BuggreAlleThis (G, the one written in the style of Le Morte d’Arthur about Aziraphale’s final few days in the court of King Arthur. Hilarious with the promise of emotional pain to come in the second half.)

7. flightless bird (dumb, wild, and free) – JennaCupcakes (@veganthranduil) (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out for half of history while Aziraphale has an ongoing existential crisis about being a broken angel. Poignant, sensual, culminates in a deliciously fraught confrontation where Aziraphale has to finally sort himself out and Crowley says some hard but true things. I once spent three hours trying to find this fic again without remembering the title so now it’s kinda ingrained.)

8. Nanny Knows Best – @patricianandclerk (M, rest of series is T, the one where Crowley endures some truly horrible experiences while serving as Warlock’s nanny. Adorable relationship between Warlock and Crowley, and it’s only getting better. The dynamic with Aziraphale is nuanced and beautiful. Rating for sexual harassment and groping, and it’s a bit of a difficult read at times during those moments, so be careful.)

9. The Holy Essence of Experience – Dragonsquill (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have loved each other almost since the beginning, but have been very careful to not put a name to it. The yearning is real and so gorgeous. The scene just before they come up with their plan to avert Armageddon haunts me.)

10. The Arrangement – @writeonclara (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley try to get a handle on this sex thing. Non-explicit, hilarious, and unique! I can only assume the rating will probably be going up, which makes me sad because it’s hard to find nonexplicit fics that still deal with what sex brings to a relationship, but what’s written for now is well worth it.)

11. And After – @randomacts13 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale work through their self-worth and have lots of flashbacks. The first one involves Crowley taking care of a seed that keeps dying and leaving another seed behind, which is not at all feeding into his self-hatred; the second has Crowley and Warlock gluing coins to the sidewalk; the third is about Aziraphale on a one-way flight to Complete Mental Breakdown if he doesn’t get some help for his anxiety and repressed emotions soon.)

12. The road to rapture has a lot of pit stops – emmagrant01 (E but only for the sixth chapter, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have shared five kisses throughout history and one where they meant it. People like me who don’t like explicit material can skip Chapter 6 (or just read until they smooch) and go straight to the epilogue. The rest of it is amazing; every kiss is believable in context and has such good lead-up. Very romantic, very good.)

13. Round and Round the Garden – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth get up to some hanky-panky beneath a willow tree while Warlock sleeps in his pram. Just sweet and silly fluff.)

14. Flecks of Light and Dark – volunteerfd (T, the one where Aziraphale learns to deal with his emotions. Has a really beautiful recurring thing of Crowley and Aziraphale making up stories of who they’d be if they were human, and Aziraphale doing his best to do good and help even when Heaven ties his hands.)

15. Before the Water Rises – VitreousHumor (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become friends while helping a village make rafts to escape the Flood. Has a lot of really cute moments and some pretty exquisite romantic tension.)

16. Beneath the Stars – @brooklynbabybucky (G, the one where Crowley asks Aziraphale to cut his hair. Just has some really lovely imagery and a sweet bonding moment.)

17. lit in the darkness – @toedenandbackagain (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale share a bed sometimes throughout history. Warnings for some sexual content in chapters 7 and 14, but each chapter has its own warnings in the description. Presents some beautiful bonding moments and the absolute finest pining known to man.)

SOUTH DOWNS

18. The Play’s the Thing – volunteerfd (G, the one where Aziraphale is cast in the local production of Hamlet and Crowley is trying his best to be supportive of his truly awful actor husband. Hilarious and light and absolutely a classic.)

19. Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils – @mostweakhamlets (NR, the one where Aziraphale has a cooking YouTube channel and Crowley is camera-shy. Tackles PTSD in a really thoughtful way and is Peak Soft Cottage Husbands aesthetic, it really packs in the most warm fuzzies in a small package.)

20. to carthage then i came – @lvslie (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and learn to work through their issues around being together and being their own people after cutting ties with Heaven and Hell. Poetic, poignant, the last chapter is a thing of absolute beauty. Very heavily symbolic, that one.)

21. A Better Place for Us to Be – @befuddledmackem (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale tour a particular cottage. Deeply emotional, the Absolute Best Real Estate Pr0n if you also secretly watch HGTV and weep, has completely ruined any future house-buying opportunity I might have because nothing will be this sweet and perfect.)

22. Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak – trieduntrue (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and very carefully orbit into something more like a relationship. Exquisite tension, beautifully-done pining and slow-burn, really fun bits of world building. M is for a sex scene at the very end but it’s easy to skip over, it’s small.)

23. reasons wretched and divine – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley storms out after a fight and finds himself in an actual conversation with God. Highly emotional and a great look into Crowley’s head, both in how he feels about God and how he feels about Aziraphale.)

24. The Sprawl of Life – @dietraumerei (T and G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale settle into village life quite well. Has sex-positive asexual characters, which is fun (brief note about that: it’s not explicit, but the places it happens, there is clear leadup and it can get a bit intense, so take care of yourselves). Has touches of angst that balance beautifully with the fluff, lots of BAMF Aziraphale for the soul.)

25. Seashells and Fingerpainting – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (T, and I recommend this one specifically from the series, can be read independently: the one where Gabriel is sent to the South Downs for a time out. This is quite possibly the best Gabriel character study I have ever seen; it’s tender and heartbreaking and somehow you find yourself rooting for Gabriel to figure out why he’s being punished despite yourself. All the warm fuzzies. All of them. Read the whole series, it’s great!)

POST-APOCALYPSE

26. Laugh When It Sinks In – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley helps Aziraphale build a home in the bookshop flat. Another one that feeds right into my interior decorating itch. So sweet and uplifting, will absolutely make you feel proud of Aziraphale.)

27. Chosen and Unchosen – Bookwormgal (T, the one where the kids have to go save Aziraphale and Crowley from Heaven and Hell. Has some EXCELLENT Warlock characterization and some really good tension between him and Adam, and the angst is properly upsetting. A right good adventure romp that’s really starting to ramp up.)

28. Resonance – Macx (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become something Else. Good world building, beautiful romance, and Gabriel getting told off. Love how Crowley and Aziraphale growing into their new roles is handled, and how Adam unexpectedly ties in at the end.)

29. Falling Heavenward – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley unexpectedly has to win his angel back because of a really twisty deal with Heaven. This one is a pretty wild ride, but I would say the centerpiece is Fallen Gabriel, who becomes Asmodeus. It becomes a battle for Aziraphale’s heart, though Asmodeus isn’t in it for the feels so much as the revenge, obviously. Really interesting premise and something to read if rooting for Crowley is a way you like to spend your time.)

30. A Leisurely Stroll Down – Saturniidae (@Saturniiddae) (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale have to fight for their relationship. Has some sexual content that isn’t explicit, and gore that really sort of is. I have thrown things and cried a little at this one, but that was the price for reading while it was still updating. Absolutely gorgeous in every way. Also has God speaking through a household object and it’s hilarious.)

31. From God’s Perspective – Unfortunately (T, the one where God comes down personally to interfere in Her children’s business. The absolute best portrayal of God in any fic ever, really humanizes her in the best ways. I love how she interacts with her angel and demon children. It’s almost more of a character study of God than anything. And yes, the Sound of Music is sung.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. Worth Knowing – summersage (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley discuss the Fall and manage Miltonian angel sex despite it. Has a take on how the Fall works that I was thinking about but couldn’t find words for until this fic, and it’s absolutely fantastic. The Miltonian angel sex is esoteric and weird and not at all erotic, but it is beautiful. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN indeed.)

33. Legendary Lovers; Your Hand in Mine – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale regroup in a hotel instead of his flat and have a bit of a knock-down-drag-out. Crowley is angry and scared and so in love he can’t stand it, and Aziraphale is practically going at light speed in confronting and knocking down his own barriers, and it’s highly emotionally charged and wonderful.)

AU/UA

34. Love of My Life – @ellewrites4 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get together very early and make it work all throughout history. Gorgeous romance, and the fallout from the Holy Water caper and the bandstand breakup are EXQUISITE. Peak emotional turmoil, sweet boundary negotiation, forgiveness and love and anxiety and fear—just delicious.)

35. True Love and High Adventure – @grifalinas (T, the one that’s a Princess Bride au. Absolutely on-point casting, wonderful writing style, the perfect escape fic for a little while. Incomplete but still worth the read.)

36. Inverse Omens – @amuseoffyre (T, the one where Aziraphale is a demon with a p0_rn shop and Crowley is an angel running a community center from a bombed-out church. Y’all recommended this to me on my demon!Aziraphale rating post, and it’s AMAZING. Perfect characterization and a wonderful retelling. Warning for Chapters 11 and 12, Aziraphale’s Nanny Ashtoreth messes with the Dowling parents in far more direct ways and there’s scenes of Mr. Dowling jerking it, so take care, friendos. Also Aziraphale makes the filthiest double entendres and it’s delightful. Also also Crowley needs all the hugs.)

37. A Blaze of Light – @wingedspirit (T, the one where Crowley is Raphael and he and Aziraphale make a Pact instead of an Arrangement. This one is a wild adventure, friends, and a riveting one. The Pact puts an interesting spin on their developing relationship, and by the time it gets to TV canon, it’s already off the rails in the best ways. Also Crowley has some pretty heavy depression that manifests in his former Archangel-level powers blowing up a bit, which is cool. Should be wrapping up soon and I’m pumped for it!)

38. it’s high time that you love me, cause you do it so well – mygalfriday (T, the one where Crowley can’t physically say the word “love” but can diddly dang well show it if he wants. Already super sweet but the confession scene at the end is just incredible.)

39. Hold the Line – sum_nemo (T, the one that’s a Pacific Rim AU. I adore PacRim, you guys, and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. Puts Crowley as Raleigh (lost his twin sister copilot) and Aziraphale as Mako and includes a pretty painful shared past between them, which is already simmering and delicious. Can’t wait to see where this one goes.)

40. The Truth Remains – @wanderingalicewrites (NR, the one where Crowley was Raphael, had a good relationship with his siblings, was in love with Aziraphale, and knew he was destined to Fall. Aziraphale is still in mourning for Raphael and Crowley is still working out the point of his existence, so there’s some very good pining and existential dread up in the mix. A highly interesting take on the situation and very, very good at punching you in the feels with the flashbacks to Heaven and how different things are now, especially with the other Archangels. LOL it just updated while I was writing this and I am UNDONE, I am in PAIN, the bandstand scene always hurts but NOT LIKE THIS. ALSO MORE ARCHANGEL FEELS, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN)

41. Everything Dark and Unseen – @enjambament (M, the one that’s a Psyche and Eros retelling. After the Fall but before Eden, Heaven and Hell need a truce, so they marry Crowley and Aziraphale to keep the peace in a symbolic sort of binding. A beautiful romance, an excellent action sequence, the cutest OC creatures, the best OC angels, and I wish there was a continuation of how canon progressed with this monumental change in their history bc I am THIRSTY for more. Rated M for a kinda-sorta sexy scene but there’s not really Efforts sooo…it’s more sensual than sexual? I guess? Either way, highly recommended.)

42. The Name of the Star is Wormwood – LusBeatha (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil was a fly agaric mushroom. It is exactly as eccentric as it sounds, but presented in such a way that it actually makes sense. It jumps around in time, but the storyline taking place in the present is looking like Armageddon 2.0. Beautifully written, great take on canon.)

43. Sticks and Stones – @justkeeptrekkin (T, the one where Crowley takes on the guise of Casanova while trying to get over Aziraphale and Aziraphale shows up, whoops. GORGEOUS imagery, the most scrumptious pining, and if y’all appreciated the 2005 Pride and Prejudice dance scene, the one in here will about blow that one out of the water, if you can believe it. Knocked the breath right out of me.)

44. Yearning to Hold You Close – @guanin (T, the one where Aziraphale has a relationship with King Richard and asks Crowley to help save him, and there is a big sticky mess of feelings when they realize Richard and Crowley look almost exactly alike. In part inspired by David Tennant playing Richard II. A delicious, delicious emotional quandary where Crowley and Richard both wonder if Aziraphale only loves them because they look like each other, and Aziraphale doesn’t know how to say what he feels. Very sweet, very emotionally fraught.)

SOFT

45. Just This Once – @julia-writes-fanfic (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale kiss in the 90s and it’s amazing. The drunk 90s kiss is already good, but them revisiting it sober in 2010 makes both even better.)

46. A Sky Full of Stars – @kedreeva (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley someplace where they can see the cosmos. The first GOmens fic I ever bookmarked, so I felt like including it, because it’s unbelievably sweet and has amazing visuals.)

47. The Serpent and the Seagull – @ineffably-good (G and T, the series where Aziraphale misses Crowley so he gets a little pet snake. Frederick the snake is among the best of the GOmens OCs, hilarious and foul-mouthed and once Crowley starts being able to understand him, it only gets better. Frederick likes helping his pets work their problems out so they’ll leave him alone to sleep. It’s extremely cute.)

48. The Discerning Black Swan – @lwtis (T, the one where Crowley is definitely not projecting on a black swan desperately trying to court a white mute swan in St James’ Park. I love how Crowley interfaces with his emotional problems through the swan, and the visual of the two swans is gorgeous.)

49. What A Demon Dreams – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Crowley has some weird dreams, dude. I love the symbolism and the imagery in this one, it’s really vivid. It’s hard to pull off a concept like this so I respect how the author is able to do it and make it work.)

TOUCH STARVED/WINGS/BODY WORSHIP

50. Sunlight – crorvid (M, the one where Aziraphale is a touch-starved angel. Doesn’t deserve the M rating, in my opinion, but Aziraphale does feel the touching during their makeouts very intensely and it’s incredibly satisfying.)

51. The Curious Attractiveness of Others – @giddygeek (T, the one where Crowley finally gets to groom Aziraphale’s wings and Aziraphale gets to show Crowley how tender that can be. Another one with some great world building tucked into the corners, and emotionally satisfying grooming.)

52. Broken Wings – werebear (@werebeary) (T and M, the series where wing grooming is incredibly intimate and I got the vapors from the tenderness. Also the first time I saw anything about preen glands. The second one is rated M because the preening gets a bit…intense. Not sexual, exactly, but it’s close. Very passionate.)

53. Birthmark – Linebreaker (G, the one where Crowley has a scar on his lower back and a sad story to go with it. This one needs a bit of a harder rating, imo, and there’s one line that’s a bit Much, but otherwise it’s a sad and beautiful look at a potential reason why Crowley hates the fourteenth century so much. Lots of Crowley body worship packed into few words, very satisfying.)

54. They Are A Pale Picture of You – @ineffablefool (T, the one where they go for a walk during winter and things are just Soft. Ineffablefool has a wealth of body-positive asexual GOmens fics, but I think I like this one best, it’s sweet and adorable and some jerk who insults Aziraphale’s weight rightly gets the worst day of his life. Also Crowley compares Aziraphale in his winter wear to a plump little bird and it’s cute imagery.)

BONUS

55. Ineffable Bureaucracy Drabbles – Shift7 (T, the series of short fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are kinda-sorta falling into friendship and being very judicious about it. Lots of paperwork, very orderly.)

56. Ineffable Bureaucracy – @eshnoazot (T and G, a series of longer fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are navigating a careful arrangement of their own. Still lots of paperwork, of course, but there’s also emotional friction and conflict resolution. Excellent characterizations. Wednesday night Thai and Friendship night is a+++++. Gabriel deffo called a board meeting to talk about his feelings.)

57. A Bentley Sang in Berkeley Square – CastielHamilton (G, the one where the Bentley is sentient and a good, good girl. She is doing her best and I love her. Basically the series from her point of view.)

58. Fairest and Fallen – VitreousHumor (T, the series where Beelzebub and Gabriel encounter each other a few times and Gabriel tries his best to remember their shared pre-Fall history. Poignant, sad, and beautiful.)

59. Observer Effect – SquarePudding (T, the series where the Grigori in charge of recording Aziraphale’s Earthly movements starts to ship him and Crowley and records their romance. The Grigori, Rezathaniel, is a precious baby who needs to develop a better palate outside of “greasy literal garbage” and has 0 chill when it comes to their ship. They’re kind of like a celebrity blogger at this point but watching their character growth in the first story is very sweet.)

60. Soul of Vellum, Heart of Chrome – @29-pieces (G, the one where the Bentley and the Bookshop are sentient and very protective of their owners. This one is going to KILL ME with the plot I wasn’t expecting—Heaven and Hell are hunting Aziraphale and Crowley down again, so the Bentley and the Bookshop do their best to help. They’re doing so good and I’m so proud of them, it’s not their fault things went a bit south. Precious beans. Good, good things.)

61. Real Fire and Brimstone Stuff – @jessikast (G, the one where college-age Warlock helps accidentally summon his Nanny and a lot of things start to make sense. A very sweet story about Warlock getting closure and getting back in touch with Crowley and Aziraphale through the weirdest means possible.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

62. Broken Hallelujah – @atlantis-is-burning (T, the one where Hastur comes to kill Aziraphale and Crowley and it’s ugly, folks. It is kinda gory and it is injury-ridden and painful, very touch-and-go for a bit. It ends well, though, and Hastur gets his, which is the Best. Tore me up one side and down the other in all the best ways.)

63. Fall Here – @marbledwings (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are easing into a relationship in fits and starts, and then Crowley gets snatched. This one was AGONIZING to wait for it to update, so be glad it’s complete, because it gets pretty dark for a while. Be warned of torture, though it’s mostly implied and it’s the aftermath that’s dealt with most. It absolutely sticks the landing at the end, and has a great characterization of Michael.)

64. how deep the sand – Handful_of_Silence (G, the series where Aziraphale is trapped in a glass bubble in a wizard’s basement for fifty years and the ensuing aftermath. Feels mostly book-verse, but there are some cues from the show. Intense and realistic and emotional and heavy, drags you through the darkness and you appreciate the light all the more for it. A beautiful story.)

65. you taught me how to love, (it’s me who taught you how to stop) – @clankclunk (G, or the one where Aziraphale comes to find out that you can’t just rush into a relationship after six thousand years of repression. This one is absolutely murdering me. The angst is real. The hurt is real. I’m hoping the fluff and comfort promised in the tags is coming soon because WOW. Has a fantastically haunting view of what happens to angels, who are highly emotive beings, when they fall into depression. And Crowley’s adverse reactions to praise and love are so realistic and painful. Ouch.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #guys i'm so tired but it's so worth it #i love all of these #can't wait to rec more later

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themarchblessing · 4 years

Text

4 Blessings A Plenty

SABRINA

Following behind the florists I looked out at the garden spotting three arrangements that really caught my eye. The color coordination and presentation really made my eyes light up. It’s been hours of constant walking for me and I’m reaching my end point. Corey and I have finally gotten our affairs in order to celebrate our vow renewal. We’ve had to postpone this event for a year due to how hectic our life has been. This ceremony is extra special because we’ve been married for four years now, my mother’s cancer is in remission and Ellena is halfway through kindergarten. All in all this year has been so good for our family. We’ve received a platoon of blessings and I’m just grateful to be in such a happy space.

“What do you envision, Sabrina? This is yours and your husband’s special day and our job is to execute your ideas and visions.” Carmen and Paula opened the floor while I took a good look around.

“Corey and I both love calla lilies, freesias and orchids. Our daughter’s favorite flower is the orchid and both of our mothers love lilies and freesias. For the arrangements, we want to keep them all very uniform. I’m thinking that table one will have one arrangement of lilies, table two will be an arrangement of freesias, table three will be orchids and so on and so forth. Corey is huge on symmetry like no es gracioso.” I explained.

Paula jumped in with a great question, “perfect. We can do that. Now do you want a tall, medium or small centerpiece? Do you want the centerpieces to be the staple of the table or the cutlery, tablecloth and name cards?”

Nibbling on my bottom lip I thought about what would look best. “Damn, I don’t know. I kind of want an eye level, from seat arrangement but I think he may want something a bit larger. Can I take a rain check on that one?” Giggling nervously I threw my hair over my shoulder.

The ladies agreed jokingly. I wrapped up my meeting with them and began my third appointment with the wedding planner. Corey sent me a text to inform me that he will meet me at the next location for our appointment with the caterers. As I reached the exit I needed to take I felt my head become light and airy. My insides began to rotate and my chest broke out in a serious sweat! I pulled over on the side of the road, pushed the truck in park mode and safely hopped out of my seat. I bolted for the railing throwing up my breakfast while simultaneously clipping my hair back.

“What the fuck!?” I gasped. “Mm..” My throat feels engulfed in flames, my breasts are aching and I feel like crap. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I stood on the side of the road just staring at the aftermath of what came out of me. “I’m so confused right now.” I groaned. I allowed myself to settle for another five minutes and resumed my drive.

My phone rang, leaving me to believe Corey is freaking out about where I am. “Hello?” I answered.

“What happened? I left you like six voicemails Lori, are you okay?” He shot off.

“Umm..now I am. You won’t believe what just happened to me.” I put my signal on, fighting with the car in front of me to get into the far right lane.

“Tell me please! You have me over here worried that something happened to you.” He panicked.

“I threw up on the side of the road. That must have been when you called. I’m sorry.” Taking a deep breath I counted the minutes left until I can rinse my mouth out.

“You got sick? From what? What did you eat this morning?” He quizzed me.

Shrugging as if he could see, I turned the air conditioning down a little bit. “I have no clue from what but it’s not from oatmeal and bread. I feel like mierda and now we have to sit through at least a two hour meeting to discuss food. Food is the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Damn okay. I’m here now so I’ll see you when you get here. I love you and please be safe.” He wished upon me.

“Always. I love you too.” We ended our call and after another ten minutes of silence I pulled up to the venue. Corey is standing outside looking like he just left a meeting. Parking next to him I pulled out my roadside hygiene kit to take inside with me. Stepping out with my things I met him by the trunk of his car. I can’t kiss him with this taste in my mouth so opted to receive affection instead.

“How are you feeling? Are you alright?” He inspected me from head to toe knowing I’m just going to laugh at him going overboard. It’s like come on man, I threw up not got into a physical altercation. Still, I appreciate his concern.

Nodding I slipped my car keys into my purse. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. After I rinse my mouth out and get some water, I should be good until we get home. Ready?” We walked inside hand in hand heading straight for the dining hall. “At least it smells good.” I joked.

“Right. I’m hungry now. I want samples since Ellena demolished my breakfast with her own. Shit.” He complained. Rubbing his lower back, I walked in first to see the caterers ready to get this meeting started. “You did say noon right?” Corey spoke to them first.

Our laughter filled the room as we all greeted one another and sat down. “You guys are early which is perfect. How are you both doing?” Max flipped to a new page in his notebook while Vince and Jen handed us three menus. Time to get this meeting tackled so we can get home!

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“I have a question to ask you about the centerpieces for the reception.” Brushing through Ellena’s hair I set her brush aside to run the conditioner through her damp curls before it dries.

Looking up from his laptop Corey returned Izaiah’s notebook and workbook to him. “About the size or the decor altogether?”

“The latter. The girls asked me what we wanted but I told them I would get back with them after we talked about it. I don’t want to make any final decisions without you..” focusing back on Elle I caught her from falling to the side. Leaning forward to see if she’s asleep I smiled brightly seeing her struggling to keep her eyes open. I turned her around so she could lay on my chest comfortably. My sweet girl is so tired after her event filled day at school.

“Sleepy mama..” she mumbled softly. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek into my bosom.

Smiling I cupped one arm under her butt and laid my free palm on her back. “I know babe. You can rest now. The day is over.” Kissing the crown of her hair I outstretched my legs.

“Let’s go with the medium, eye-level length. Do you want any glass on the table other than the drinking glasses?” I flipped through my pictures going back to my original decor ideas. I shared my ideas with him while Elle fell into a deep slumber, snoring her heart out. We talked about our recent meeting to switch the planners until Corey left the room to put Zay to bed.

I remained snuggled up with my love bug flipping through my wedding plans album. As soon as Corey re-emerges I need to haul ass to the bathroom. I feel sick again! I had to wait for him to get comfortable before placing Elle in his lap. Racing to the toilet I clutched the countertop, emptying myself clean.

“Mama is okay, baby.” I heard Corey soothe Elle who clearly woke up because her position was shifted.

“Where’s mommy?” Ellena cried. “Does she not feel good?” She cried again.

“No mamá doesn’t feel good but she’s alright. It’s okay baby, tranquila por favor..” Corey distracted her some kind of way leaving me alone to get this bile out of my system.

Wiping my tears I stared at the clock on the wall having flashbacks of when I was in denial about being pregnant with Elle. I think we are about to be pregnant with baby number three. It wouldn’t be much of a shock since we have raw sex on a healthy, consistent basis. I haven’t been on birth control since my sophomore year in college and condoms are annoying. Corey’s pull out game is great but with me, that technique is nonexistent. I have no complaints with our reckless sex life or our lack of contraceptive use but facts are facts.

“Baby..you okay in there?” Corey called on me.

“Yeah, just a minute.” Standing up I flushed and cleaned the toilet. I brushed my teeth and drank some water until I felt the urge to urinate hit me. Ripping the packaging open I took a pregnancy test wanting answers ASAP. Once I finished up I cleaned my hands and set the test aside, heading to set a timer on my phone. “I took a pregnancy test.” I blurred out.

Corey locked eyes with me in surprise, smiling brighter and brighter as the seconds passed. “Bull..” he grinned.

“It’s on the sink right now, I swear. I’ve gotten sick twice in one day so I think I made the right move. Why are you smiling so big? Are you happy about this?” I couldn’t resist matching his expression.

“I am. I don’t have any reason to be scared. Are you?” Corey stretched out, reaching for his phone.

Pacing the room I dabbled in my feelings, not sure what I feel about possibly being pregnant again. I’m not mad but I will be a little surprised. “I wouldn’t say scared but more so in disbelief. If the test is positive then I know I’ll be happy eventually. It took me a while to accept being pregnant the second time around and I’ll be alright this time.” My timer went off and I froze. “Okay I'm scared now.” Cupping my mouth I stared at him only to blush and grow nervous just seeing him smile.

“I’ll sit here and wait for you to come out so I don’t make you even more nervous.” He suggested coolly.

“No, please come with me. I might faint if I go in there alone.” I urged him to check the results with me and he happily complied. With our little girl sound asleep in his arms I have to control myself and not scream. “Ready?” I looked up to find him watching me.

“Always.” His secure, proud smile eased my nerves about the moment to come. This is another major blessing that is seconds away from being real. He stood by the door while I walked over to the sink. Taking a cautious breather I turned the test over feeling my legs weaken. My eyes filled with tears on cue not able to look him in the eye. “Let me see.” He chuckled. Picking up the test I turned around and showed him up close. “No way..baby number three? This is amazing. We’re gonna have a whole team before we know it.” He teased.

As much as I’m crying from joy I burst into laughter because he’s so damn silly. “I’m too old for this..” I gasped. “Ay Dios mío this is crazy.” Throwing my arms around him and Elle I kissed her chubby cheek. My gut filled itself with butterflies and my skin broke out in goosebumps over this beautiful news we just received.

“You’re in great health, the baby will be just fine. I love you and I thank you for being the best mother to our children. Look at me..” he insisted. “You got this, we’ve got this. Everything will be alright. Right?” Nodding in agreement I rubbed his back in circles. “So is this the last one?”

“Absolutamente. If we were ten years younger then maybe we could try for a fourth but no papa this will be our last. Are you really happy or are you just claiming to be so I don’t freak out right now?” Searching his eyes for the answers I captured his lips needing a little more intimacy.

“Over the moon. Let me put her to bed, I’ll be right back.” Corey’s exit granted me the space and freedom to let this baby news marinate a little longer.

Lifting my shirt I squealed at the sight before me. This baby bump is the same size and shape that I had with Elle in the beginning. “Oh wow, deja vu! Welcome home bebecito, we are so happy and blessed to have you.” Clearly just like the last time I’m further along than I expected. Our lives are really about to change for the better yet again. Selfishly I do wish we were ten years younger so we can keep making such beautiful babies. But our life setup is special and near and dear to my heart so I don’t need to complain. Corey returned to join me in the bathroom and just like that a light bulb came on. “Corey..” I said with a deep frown.

“What is it? Why do you look so sad?” He panicked.

“We’re going to be sixty years old when this baby turns eighteen! Sixty and eighteen! What the hell are we doing? We’re setting our kids up for failure. I feel selfish now.” This knee jerk reaction to sob washed over me as I envisioned us being legally classified as senior citizens when our youngest child will be graduating from high school. “Corey, this is not fair!” I wept taking a seat on the floor. “This is not fair..” my heart is breaking right now over the reality we’re facing.

Corey knelt in front of me, seeming to match my sadness to a small degree. “Baby, I understand where you’re coming from. I have been aware of the age gaps between us and the kids this entire time. Does it get to me? Yeah sometimes it does but they’re here and we have to enjoy them while we’re still here.” He preached.

“Yo se pero..” sniffling and wiping under my eyes I tried pulling myself back together. “Just thinking about our babies being fresh into adulthood and us being at the age where we most older people are grandparents..is crazy. I don’t want the kids to wake up one day and realize we may miss some of the biggest moments of their lives.”

“Come on Lori, you know this is the tough part of being a human. Yes, the reality of our age and having a third baby right now is not ideal but I’m okay with it. For the record, I am not just saying that just because I don’t have to carry this baby either. I’m telling you because you know I’m always here to support you and take on all the stress so you don’t have to. Tell me now if you don’t want to go through with this again. I’m happy with the two babies we have now, truly but I want to know where you stand. This is your body and you have the final say so.” He advised sharply.

Breaking my moment of wallowing I disagreed to the unspoken offer on the table. “No. I’m not getting rid of our baby. Absolutely not. I’m saddened by my deepest fears but not enough to make such a decision that I have no right to. Not to mention that would drive a wedge between us and I would never want that. God granted us with the ability to reproduce easily, I will not take advantage of it.” Shaking away all thoughts of an abortion I dried my tears and accepted Corey’s assistance in standing. Turning

around to face the mirror I composed myself entirely to study my body again.

Corey also set his sights on my torso. As I turned, twisted, flexed and relaxed my core I mentally instructed myself not to lose it again.

“Last chance Mrs. Howard, do you really want this? Are you okay with being pregnant again for the last time?” Corey stood behind me, reaching for my hands.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry for overreacting.” Blending our fingers together I studied his shoulders, feeling my spirit lighten as he shed the tension in his stance.

“It’s okay, you have every right to express how you feel. I just hope that after today you don’t travel back down this road. This being our last I want you to enjoy this experience to the full extent if possible.” I know Corey is just coming from a good place with his concerns and I feel bad now for how I reacted.

Throwing myself into him with a warm hug I laid my head upon his chest. I wandered my hands up to his neck, meddling in his hair. Caressing the area I met his eyes in the mirror. “I want this baby as much as I wanted Izaiah and Elle. The worries about our age gap will forever be a thought in the back of my mind, honey. I’ve spoken on it so it’s not going anywhere. That doesn’t mean I am any less excited. This baby is a blessing and I’m content with it. I promise you have nothing to fear.” I assured him.

We traveled to bed with our conversation, setting up our schedule for the rest of the week. Secretly I do worry if this pregnancy will be safe for me and for this baby. I’m forty-two years old pregnant with my third child, already a mom to a six and eleven year old. Tomorrow I plan on making an appointment to see my doctor to discuss with her the pros and cons of carrying a baby at my age. There’s no doubt that each child is a gift from God but at what expense?

#themarchblessing #short story

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deztinywarriors · 5 years

Text

The Linked Charms - Episode 33 (Multi Liverpool players)

Title: Linked Charms

Pairings: Trent/Marina(oc#1), Mo Salah /Dr Karina(oc#2), Andy/Yvonne(oc#3), Virgil/Amelia(oc#4)

Trigger warning: domestic violence

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo5ZFGia7m-cTVrdeBxcBTNFFriZlFXtR Soundtrack list

That evening, the mansion atmosphere became chaotic once Amelia dragged crying Christoph and Anya upstairs before locking themselves inside the kids bedroom “You’ve just disgraced me for today. I never taught you both to become a bully!” Marina, Karina and Yvonne rushed upstairs, stopped by the door as they called her “Ami, calm down!” Marina knocked the door, heard Amelia’s shout and the kids pleading cries. Sje tried to open it but it’s locked from inside. Yvonne slammed her hand to door “Ami, what are you doing inside?” That’s when they heard a belt clinking sound which it makes the girls thought Amelia was going to hit them with it to release her anger against them. The kids cried louder “Mama, please stop!” PIAP! PIAP!! PIAPP!! The girls panicked by the belt slap against the kids makes Imogen came there as well “What’s the matter?” Until she heard the noise from inside the bedroom, she quickly knocked the door “Amelia, can you please open the door? Amelia!!” But it was no avail. The belt slapping sound became more frequent and the kids kept crying. Around five minutes later, the boy’s cars arrived by the front yard. Virgil rushed upstairs when they heard Imogen’s shout. “Virgil, help us. Amelia locked Christoph and Anya inside the room. And we heard the belt sound. We don’t know what she is doing against them” Karina pleaded as she, Imogen and the other sisters stepped aside. “Stay here” he commanded to the girls and Imogen as he slammed the door with his shoulder. After three times attempt slamming the door, it opened wide revealing crying Christoph and Anya sat against the edge of bed while angry Amelia with holding a belt swinging it to hit them continuously. Virgil rushed toward Amelia, gripping her wrist with holding belt makes she shouted “I’m going to give them a lesson!” “This is not a solution, Ami. Calm down!” He gripped another wrist to make her facing him. Christoph and Anya still crying with some red slapping mark on their arms and legs “I just heard this from Imogen but this is not a right way to teach them a lesson” he added then asked “What they’ve done for today?” Imogen shushed as she whispered to the girls “We better leave them for privacy” she closed the door while the girls went downstairs. Christoph and Anya climbed up on bed, sat up as the little boy said “Brian and Mandy bullied Anya recently. I punched him on his face to defend Anya” “I know you’re defending your sister but violence is not a solution” Virgil said “You’re supposed to lodge this to your teacher” “But Papa-” Christoph replied. “Enough. Luckily you both only been sent back home for today. If you both get dropped out because of this case… how am I going to face everyone that my children is a bully?” Amelia sadly interrupted as she cupped her cheeks. “You both just make mistake for today. As a punishment, there’s no TV for a week” Virgil stood up as he added “Just make your homework then wait for us before dinner” then he glared to Amelia “Ami, we need to talk” Both of them headed out from the kids bedroom before entering their bedroom, locked the door “I never expected you have this kind of side, Ami” he said bluntly then scolded “And I’m really disappointed on you. Is this how you taught them a lesson if they made a mistake?!” Amelia sat at edge of bed, looking down with gloomy expression “Es tut mir leid, Liebling. I can’t control myself” “This is not an excuse. When I seen you rewarded them with books and toys, playing with them, I thought you’re the greatest mother for them. And now…” then Virgil continued “Is this how you taught them a lesson if they’re making mistakes? Hitting them with this?!” He threw the belt that he snatched from her to floor. Amelia quickly hugged his legs as she begged “Liebling, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong but please…” she sobbed lightly then added “Please punish me! Anything!!” His stern look turned into evil smirk when he heard she requested to get punished “Say it again” he whispered. “Punish me!” Amelia pleaded then looked down since she realised that her request might be a prayer then she asked “Liebling, how did you know that I have thing on some sex kinks?” “I’ve read your secret journals when you’re asleep” Virgil replied then explained of when he get it. *Flashback start* There was one night Amelia fell asleep on work table with her three notebooks found inside opened electronic diary. The door opened as Virgil came in, noticing she was asleep makes he gently brushed her hair, kissing her head before carefully grabbed each three notebooks from inside electronic diary. The first journal was about Amelia’s dream life with her prince charming. That’s when he found a poem written: Victory can’t be reached by only single step. Intelligence and hard work pays it all for him. Revolutionary man who changed the world of mine. Gripping the whole dream from the heaven above Indicated by how faithful and honesty he is. Light is waiting upon him when he knew the time comes. Victory doesn’t come by its own without his determination. Achieved by combination of hard work and passion. Naturally, he is the perfect one. Delightfully surprised that he finally reached his dream. Intentionally making everyone love how great he is. Jeopardising the whole memories to become a new legend. Kind words of his to make world a better place. Virgil only chuckled when he read the stanza of the poem about himself before he read the second journal that written essays of Amelia’s rebellious dream to be anything what she want for. From being a singer, artist, engineer, sportswoman, author, fashion designer, chef, detective and others. He only able to shake his head, finding out her wide imagination until he picked up third journal which it revealed detailed erotic stories written by Amelia. That’s when he found out the note of her turn on’s and off’s written…. ****** Let’s see what are my turn on’s when having sex. I like my man talk dirty in other languages: German, Dutch, Swedish, Russian… as long as I could understand it. I like when my man kissed my breasts. My mind was thinking of ’ Oh God… he know my weakness. I’ll let him worship my body’. As well as feeling his hands kneaded my ass, looks like he loves my body more than I am. For my turn off’s, well… I hate distracting noises during having sex. Just like when Virgil fucked me and suddenly Gini called him which it makes me unable to think straight once I heard his voice in loudspeaker mode. Scheiße! And one more thing, I don’t like baby kink thing. Forcing me to wear diapers, put pacifier on my mouth. Please… I’m a big girl! ********* Remembering the moment they both had sex for first time until Gini called him makes he chuckled, sounds weird but funny sometimes when he recalled it. And then he read the other pages where he found lists of her favourite kinks. It written… ****** I love of being control by my man actually, just sometimes I’ll get my hands to take charge in case I have good mood. I also like bondages, been tied with belt or anything making me effortlessly to move. And I also like to feel the pain. Feeling his hand slapping my ass makes me want more from him. And I love having some toys too. Melt candle? Sharp knife? Hmm… depends on my mood… Hehe~ And I also wanted to call him daddy once he gets in control. Feeling him choking me, pulling up my hair… And a camera filming us having sex makes me think that I’m gonna be his whore. Haha~ ******** “Fucking shit. What did I just read?” He asked in whispering tone before noticing Amelia grunted lightly makes he gently brushed her hair before noticing she continued asleep. He flipped another page when he found bunch of stories about her sex fantasies written…. ********* Episode 1: Rape fantasy (I know it might be triggering) “Please sir. I don’t want you to kill me. I can give you anything!” I screamed as he climbed up the bed. The tall and dark skinned man with wearing a face mask just intruded my house and now he found me wearing only short nightgown and lace panties. I noticed he glared to my thighs makes he spread my legs wide, caressing them while I cried “Oh please, please… right there…” I just closed my eyes when he played the hem of my panties, pulling it down. Scheiße… is he want to soil me…? ******** Episode 2: My Dreamy PE teacher What a handsome teacher who just came far away from Netherlands. Mr van Dijk is his name, the PE teacher. And now he just called me once PE class ended for private talk. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me. We both locked ourselves inside sport equipment store room while I noticed he glared to my short tennis skirt makes he asked me “Why are you wearing that kind of skirt? It’s too exposing” “Oh… my bad” I giggled lightly before noticing he kept glaring over my skirt. “And did you wear underwear beneath it?” Scheiße. Looks like he knows that I’m going to seduce him with wearing tennis skirt with no panties underneath. Can’t wait for him to see my pussy and eat them out. I really want him to be mine…. ********* Episode 3: I need a Doctor… “Yes doctor. I really need you” I whispered to him while he climbed up on bed where I laid down. My headache is going critical and he told me that there’s only one solution to heal without surgery. Feeling his tip rubbed along my pussy makes me pleaded “Doctor, please…!” “Call me Virgil. Remember that name when you’re with me” he replied to me as he pushed his dick in. Ah scheiße… he’s too huge for my tight pussy. But I love it. I moaned to him “Fuck yes… I only need your cock as remedy for my head. Please…” My voice getting louder when his whole length filled inside me makes me smiled wide. He really great on healing his patients, and he’s treating me on the bed…. ******** Episode 4: The Queen’s Forbidden Lover I know that I need a heir for my throne but there’s no royal came upon me makes me desperate wanted to have one or two for my kingdom. Until my personal knight, Virgil came over as I invited him to my bedroom. I caressed his hair as I pleaded “I have a request from you. I need a heir for my kingdom and I’m really desperate” “Do you wanted me to make love to you, your highness?” He asked then shook his head “It’s wrong” “It’s my order, Virgil. I want you to impregnate me. Maybe for this time but I really need it. Please…” I pleaded again. He’s such a handsome and strong man. I bet he can give me a perfect heir for my throne. Even just one night. ******* Episode 5: Project V8791 I keep chuckling when I felt his tongue licked along my pussy, it’s really great I programmed him of varied sex positions and he acts like he knows everything. V8791 or his human name: Virgil van Dijk had been progressing not just with varied chores, even he can entertain his client, women of course since I only able to programme him as heterosexual man. I sensed his tongue entered my walls as I tilted my head up. Oh yes… I can’t believe he’s so talented. I wanted him more and more… ******* Just when he wanted to read another episodes, he noticed Amelia slowly awake makes he quickly put down the journal on her table, getting back to sleep like nothing happened. She glared to her journals then to her Dutch lover, giggled lightly. *Flashback end* “Oh well… you just read my secrets” Amelia stuck her tongue out before getting up in her feet, kissing him deeply. They both fell on bed, getting their lips met while their hands caressed each other’s hair. That’s when Virgil picked up the belt he threw down, wrapping it around Amelia’s wrists to pin her down. “I can’t wait for you take charge on me” she chuckled then mewl “Meow~” Meanwhile Christoph and Anya just finished their homework, rushed downstairs as they both headed outside to their treehouse. Imogen asked them “Have you done with your homework?” “Yes, granny” the twins replied. It makes Imogen sighed as she continued reading the book while the kids went to the treehouse, climbing up the ladders to their hideout. Around two hours the German - Dutch lovers having their times on bed with several rounds of rough fucks, Amelia sighed in relief, chuckled softly as her wrists still tied up , some bruises on her thighs by hard slaps but she didn’t care. She has thing on BDSM kinks and finally Virgil just knew it. Relief moan escaped from her lips when she felt him gently brushed warm towel along her pussy, wiping out her leaked juices and his seeds while he leaned down to give her a gentle kiss. It was like a routine for them. “This is so perfect, Liebling” Amelia giggled lightly before noticing him placed a towel on bedside table, then heading out to bathroom. The Dutch giant just prepared a warm bath, noticing a jar of varied flower petals and orange peels makes he poured them down inside tub filled with warm water. Then he came back to bedroom, carefully carrying Amelia in bridal style to take her for warm bath to soothe her down. As Amelia get her body fully soaked inside water with flower petals and orange peels inside tub, she giggled lightly since she really loves to be pampered like a queen, and it makes her legs no longer aching “Come and join me, Liebling” It makes Virgil smiled back, shaking his head “I don’t want to hurt you with another round of fucks” it makes they laughed while she playfully pinched his nose. “Alright, alright. Keep this queen in company, okay?” Amelia winked. Agreeing on her request, Virgil with only wearing towel around his waist grabbed a book from work table which it’s Amelia’s untitled work-in-progress novel, sat next to the bath tub while she rested her chin on her arm to get closer to him. He read the beginning of the novel which it’s about the adventure of two strangers: Emmi and Viktor which it’s kinda knock off of themselves - received the anonymous parcel makes they discovered a key to the new dimension named Utopia before they facing the adventurous journey besides they started getting their love story began. As Virgil completed reading each full pages, he gave Amelia a deep kiss before flipping to net page, continue reading it despite there’s a few complicated German and Dutch words that he needs to pronounce. And she also enjoyed her bath time and having someone in company. ————— That night, Miroslav gathered Ernst, Imogen, the girls and boys inside living room as he said “Bad news. Paula Speichern had been escaped from psychiatric hospital last night” Amelia cupped her mouth since her ‘mother’ just escaped and roaming around the town while Virgil grabbed her hand to calm her down. “Is she going to take vengeance on us? She already murdered my mom and now?” Yvonne asked. “Possibly. Doctor told me her bipolar was getting worst day by day even they just discovered that she became more aggressive once she heard any news about Amelia or Papa” Miroslav explained. “What was running in your mind, Paula?” Ernst muttered as he still remembered something “You cheated on me before… and you murdered Yolanda. And now… this?” “Wait… 'mother’ cheated on you? But how?” Amelia asked. Ernst silenced for a while, removing his glasses before he replied “She has a son from her previous relationship without telling me” “But it doesn’t mean she cheated on you, Papa” Amelia said “And that son was Ariel” “Ariel?” All of them asked, except Virgil shown them normal expression since he already knew it. “My 'mother’ used to marry someone named Wilhelm Speichern but divorced since he cheated on her for other woman. They had a son named Ariel. Unfortunately, Ariel died when I was three, fell down from apartment in Paris” Amelia explained. “I’m sorry for that, Ami. It might be hurts when you lose your own sibling” Imogen sighed. “So that means you’re Franco-German mix” Karina interrupted “Your mother maybe a French and she married to German man” “It is. My 'mother’ maiden name was Boonefoy. Paula Marie Boonefoy” Amelia replied. “Now back to the topic. Is there anyone know motive for Yolanda’s homicide?” Marina asked to change topic. “So far, there’s no valid information about it. But there’s only one theory” Miroslav replied “She has grudge on everyone especially Papa for breaking her heart. And the only daughter she had, for leaving her for a man who will protect her” “And it’s me…” Amelia gasped as she cupped her chest, feeling light pain since she worried of her safety until she felt Virgil pulled her close to him. “But it doesn’t mean the rest are safe” Miroslav added “She knew the remaining generation of Vambürt family still survived so she decided to finish them once for all” “This is too much. She must be stopped by all cost” Trent said. Miroslav nodded lightly “We have to be more careful with her. She diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And her behaviour is too unpredictable” “And wait the minute. Usually those who has bipolar disorder usually will inherit their traits to their children” Karina interrupted. It makes everyone silenced before glaring to Amelia. “Why are you looking to me?” Amelia shocked. “No wonder we noticed you have multiple talents, Amelia. It’s one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder” Ernst said “And you started having maniac and depressed mode, depends on your mood” “So that means she also behave like her mother?” Andy asked. “Not necessarily. Amelia might be inherited her mother’s beauty and talents…. but not her insanity” Ernst replied then he clapped his hands “Alright. Forget about it. Next week, we will have a family event. It’s one year anniversary of our family reunion” “Papa, I’m going to Marseille next week to visit my family-in-law” Miroslav whispered. “Postpone it. We have most important event here” Imogen interrupted making the blonde photographer pouted. “And how about we make murder mystery party?” Marina suggested “It would be fun since we have large scale family party” “Are you forgot that we have kids here?” Mo asked suddenly since he realised Christoph and Anya already sleeping upstairs and it makes everyone silenced. “A murder mystery party, but not too eerie” Amelia corrected “Since we have kids, we need to think the suitable theme that fit for a whole family” “Maybe [Family Reunion] helps” Trent suggested “It’s like what we used to experience when we met for first time. But the difference is the host invited all his children to meet for a dinner and they brought along their husbands-” Miroslav coughed lightly before Trent added “And we maybe need some change. All of his daughters and they brought their husbands. That’s when they have some surprises of having unexpected guests and…” “There would be a murder?” Andy asked to interrupt. “Maybe….” “Alright. So I will be the host since I have to invite his daughters for reunion” Ernst asked “How about you?” “I’m of course gonna play as typical stepmother who marrying the host after their mothers death” Imogen huffed. “And I’m as a family butler?” Miroslav shrugged lightly. “So we need to make a background details on all of us” Marina said “We can’t simply said our husbands are footballers. It will ruining the party themes” “Let’s see… Marina would be a lawyer, I’m as vet of course. Yvonne might be a street artist-” Karina suggested. “Fuck off” Yvonne huffed, crossing her arms. “And I’m maybe as an ordinary housewife. Mother of two kids” Amelia interrupted. “And how about the boy’s background?” Ernst asked. “I was thinking of the street musician” Trent suggested then shrugged, chuckling lightly. “Not bad, mate. I’m maybe as working class people. A clerk, perhaps?” Andy asked. Karina nudged Mo as she asked “How about you, sevgilim?” “I think I’m as a model?” Mo chuckled. “Mohamed, I’m not encouraged you for that as your background for the party. Family reunion usually about the daughter brought along their ordinary husbands” Ernst advised. It makes Mo silenced again, thinking until he asked “I think a barista” it makes everyone fell down on floor with their legs raised up on air while Karina playfully slapped his arm. Amelia asked to Virgil “How about you, Liebling?” It makes him thought of suitable background job for the murder mystery party before he suggested “I think a policeman or fire fighter” “Well….” Amelia started to think the logical theory if a daughter can bring her husband who a working in uniformed services then nodded “Alright. My king is a policeman” it makes him looked down in embarrassment. “Wait the second. Virgil has long hair, right? Policemen usually has shorter hairs” Miroslav interrupted which it makes both of them thought of another idea again. “How about a young tycoon? Maybe you’re a new businessman in the making. You marrying his secretary but then she switched to be housewife to focus on her family” Amelia suggested to him, making him blushed again. “Technically Amelia marrying a rich man” Yvonne interrupted, chuckling lightly. “I think we just got our roles. Unless if you want to bring your friends along, inform them about the roles they’re going to play with” Ernst said “And for costumes, there’s no need to be fancy. Just make yourself comfortable, and fits for the character” “So when are we going to make the party? I mean the exact date for it” Trent asked. “We encouraged to make it this Saturday night” Ernst replied. “Easy. It’s a day after our match against Sheffield United” Mo added “Can’t wait to inform Dejan” —————— Meanwhile, Paula just arrived at the prison where Julian had been imprisoned, holding a long cord as she strangled the security guards by the gate before she used their clothes for disguise. Holding a baton, she walked inside the prison and hit another warden in charge and get another outfits to wear on. And she found bunch of keys makes she knew how to do. As Paula in warden outfit walked upstairs to high secured cells, no one suspected anything until she arrived at Julian’s cell. The bad guy was drawing something on wall noticed Paula stood by the door makes he rushed there “What for?” Paula silenced as she unlocked the key before opened the door wide. “What the fuck?” Julian walked out in disbelief as he asked her “Seriously?” Paula just nodded before watching Julian walked along the corridor to the switch room to activate emergency alarm. As the siren rang loudly, it makes around 40 Julian’s men rushed out from their cells, excitedly cheered of their escape day “All Hail Neumann! All hail Neumann!” The remaining warden who just realised the loud siren get their weapons ready to attack the escaped prisoners but it makes they had been outnumbered, been beaten up badly or shoot down before rushing out through the gate. It was a chaotic night in London when all people quickly shut down windows and doors when they heard loud screams out there. ———– Meanwhile back in mansion, the family gathering had been interrupted by Dejan’s phone call as Mo answered it “Mo, switch on the TV hurry!” It makes Miroslav switched on the television as it revealed the breaking news. The news anchor said “Around 40 prisoners had been escaped from London Central Jail in last few hours including the most dangerous criminal in United Kingdom, Julian Neumann. If any of you seen any of these faces, everyone advised to contact the police” the TV screen shows 40 faces of the escaped prisoners including Julian. It makes everyone shocked on what they’ve just heard. Another trouble came in, waiting for another drama. “Fucking shit” Virgil groaned, brushing his hair back.

#football fanfiction #Trent Alexander Arnold #andy robertson #Mohamed Salah #virgil van dijk #Football imagine

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baldtaelovemaze · 6 years

Text

Love me for me (1)

What kind of love story starts with two people locked in a classroom and ends with the two same people in a courtroom? This one. After unfortunate circumstances, Venice is forced to illegally change her identity and live as a boy in a all boys school.

She planned everything out. Every. Single.detail. but no matter how much she tries, she can’t stop herself from falling for the son of one of the biggest lawyers.

Is loving the man of her dreams worth years in jail?

Reader (OC) X jungkook ft.Taehyung

Warnings: mature language

Words: 3k

"Dear Miss. Abass, unfortunately, your demand at Yale University has been Rejected-"

“fuck”

Orbs clouded, I rip apart the letter. The torn cream pieces dance with the wind my fan generates and I watch them gracefully fall to the floor, blending perfectly with the wood.

Years of studying, isolation, practically not having a social life I forced upon myself to proudly become a valedictorian graduate but everything i did was in vain.

On the floor lays the last piece of hope I once clung on to. Now crushed under the weight of disappointment and failure, my chest hitches as I desperately try to hold back a sob. Water gathers at the rims of my heterochromia eyes. Left one a muddy green and the other a murky blue with a tinge of that same muddy green who manages to stick out no matter what like I do so very well. Intentionally or not.

I don’t cry, instead, I sniff away all the mucus who threatens to slide down my nasal passages and roll myself into bed.

For a moment, the smell of the freshly cleaned sheets and my dearest pillow make me forget of the hell hole I am in, of the chains that confine me.

That moment is short-lived when it all comes back rushing down on me like a wave. These chains that I have, invisible to the human or anything supernatural expect me. This rope around my neck who never ceases to tighten as time goes by.

I ponder on this fact. Or is it a question? It’s something I definitely know the answer to. So a fact it is.

The chains that hold me aren’t emotional or even close to physical. Nor did I ever do anything to earn them but that’s how the system works.

The system refused every single application I sent to prestigious universities. Not one of them accepted me even after they had contacted me for scholarships offers. Claiming that “my chosen classes were already full and to try elsewhere.’

It wasn’t a coincidence. Out of everyone, I should know that. Because I knew the system far too well.

That system chained me without even binding my wrist to chains, that system took my freedom away without truly stripping me of my rights, that system tied a noose around my neck and is waiting for any given occasion to rip away the chair from under my feet.

The system doesn't want my education to blossom. the system wants me to settle for less every time then die. That’s our government. the system is our government and it’s trying to kill me off.

I could apply at a community college and get accepted in mere seconds but that's what they want. That is their plan and no matter what, I will not succumb to it, not after seeing how it ended for father. Not after seeing that.

I gulp at the thought of him. My body and mind react instantly at the mere idea of my father. My breathing becomes ragged and I sense my palms get clammy and sweaty. The noose around my neck feels like it got ten times tighter. Even though nothing is truly there, my brain acknowledges the hard rope covered in sharp split ends digging at the skin of my neck. My hands who once were tucked underneath the pillow flock to my neck, grasping around nothing but my own skin.

I seal my eyes shut and begin chanting the only thing that calms me down during my breakdowns.

“A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I....”

the alphabet, something you often associate with learning toddlers full of life and not a 19-year-old having a nervous breakdown.

“J, K, L, M, O, P, Q, R, S!!” I scream loud, frail body shaking like a leaf as I try my best to block out the nose, block out the shots and the footsteps who are threateningly close. I hiccup between a sob when I feel his big greasy hands grip my long ebony hair, yanking me back painfully, he throws my whole body across the room.

what letter was I at? I forgot. Now I can barely breathe. I frustrate the man furthermore. I know this when he yells “shut the fuck up. Make another sound and your lovely mother gets it.” I open my eyes and stop breathing altogether. She lays on the floor.

I shake my head, clearing my mind of theses awful flashbacks as I shoot up from bed to reach for the pieces of paper, crumble them into a tiny ball and neatly shoot them in my plastic dollar-store basketball net who hangs just above the door. It hits the rim before falling on the floor with a plop.

“damn, where did my basketballs skill go?” I ask my self, feeling slightly better due to the self-pity that seems to have eaten me whole.

The alphabet always calms me down, it brings me back to earth when I need it the most -when my anxiety decides to lock me in my painful past.

My back now on the bed, I look at my white ceiling, its time to think rationally, like an adult - I smile to myself. Like an adult, huh? I quickly recognize the fact that most adults don’t actually know what they are doing. Most of the time they let themselves get dragged with the wave. Some try to overpower the water while others succumb to it and others find a way to float, to stay on the surface no matter how strong the storm gets.

I huff a breath of defeat "what am I going to do? It was the last one on the list.” I toy with my phone. I run my fingers against its smooth metal surface all while making sure to not unlock it by accident with the touch ID.

I've been ignoring Haerin’s messages for a while now.

I frown, hoping that she won’t misunderstand and think that I a mad at her.

the screen lights up.

Haerin: Don’t worry I know that you’re not mad at me or anything but I'm just worried.. plus I kinda miss your ugly ass so text back soon. I can’t believe you’re making me seem like a desperate hoe by ignoring all my text. Your fuckgirl mode has, unfortunately, been activated :/ [2:45]

I snort. Not being able to ignore her for any longer, I text back.

Me: I usually don’t text girls back after we fuck... but ur kinda special so come over or whatever... [2:46 pm]

Haerin: omg okay daddy! I’ll bring take out that way my ass won’t be the only thing you’ll eat today! I'm omw bitch you have some explaining to do. [2:46]

I chuckle and lock my phone.

With the stretch of my limbs, I'm out of bed and I beeline straight to the bathroom.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. “fucking hell, I barely look alive.”

after peeing and a quick face wash, I stand in front of the mirror and notice that my pixie cut may need a trim soon. I can’t ever let my hair grow past my ears and I rather not think about the reason behind this -not yet at least, not yet.

I watch the clear droplet of water cling on to the curl near my forehead before dropping and rolling down my tawny skin. I can’t help but to glance down at my neck, it’s red. I pray that I won’t bruise. I take in the fact that my new skin care routine has been working marvelously. From my high cheekbones, my narrow chin and slightly protruding forehead my skin is spotless.

"Venice, you little thot, I have arrived in your domicile"

I jump in surprise at first. After a smile covers my plump lips when I realize who that voice belongs to. I step out of the bathroom which is linked to my room and meet the fake redhead.

In a matter of seconds, I am engulfed in her tight embrace. Face hidden in the crook of her armpit I notice that the tall girl is wearing her favorite mustard hoodie.

I break the hug. “ I missed you too,” I say, gazing up at her through my short lashes. I see the worry in her slanted eyes but I know she isn’t judging, she never does.

“let’s talk, okay?” her voice is soft when she speaks. I nod and lead her to my bed.

A couple tears, three hugs, and many heartfelt words later, we lay diagonally on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling. With a shift in position, I look over at Haerin’s toes who never fail to not be ugly and stinky but who can blame her? She's an aspiring basketball player. Now I look up to her profile. It seems like the ceiling is long forgotten and that she is currently deep in thought, I can tell by the way her straight thick brows furrow and how she chews almost aggressively her full bottom lip. I Am caught red-handed when she suddenly turns at catches me staring.

“I've got an idea.” her lips part as she smiles, revealing the gap in the middle of her two front teeth that fits her so well.

“Shoot”

“How about we watch old Disney movies to take off some of your stress for today? let's deal this fucktard of a situation tomorrow. '' She pushes her elbow underneath her to lift herself. Her round glasses droop down the bridge of her nose but she's quick to push them back with the help of her lanky fingers.

I smiled at the idea. I ask myself how can someone be so pure and genuine sometimes.

''Okay, but just don't put anything with romance in it. I don't want to be reminded of the fact that the only thing I wake up next to in bed is my life-sized Makoto Tachibana pillow.'' My feet drag on the warm floor as Haerin intertwines her arm with mine. '' That's extremely sad and I hope that you'll throw it out once you get a boyfriend-'' she stops in her tracks and looks at me.

we both stare at each other only to explode with laughter.

''BAHAHA! I can't believe I just said that! You? a boyfriend? I think WinWin would finally be getting lines in songs before that happens.'' wiping away the tear that escaped, we go down the stairs and she grabs the laptop on the kitchen counter before plopping herself beside me on the sofa.

''Shut up you shouldn't be the one to speak here.'' I laugh back with her.

''Whatever ugly loser, go grabs snacks that way we can stuff our faces and I'll pick a movie'' She orders and am up in seconds.

''I know you said no romance but I still picked the Amanda Bynes movie She's the man '' Haerin informs me as I come back into the living room

I shrug my shoulders, indifferent.

''I don't care what we watch at this point, anything to get my stress down.'' I slur on my words near the end, taking a big fat handful of popcorn and shoving it down my throat.

'We could watch porn then'' she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I pinch her left nipple.

''shut up and play the god damn movie.''

And with a click, the movie is playing and I am finally relaxing.

About an hour and forty-five minutes later the movie is done and you're left with a strange idea in mind.

''hey Haerin..'' you start off

her eyes squint, which suggests that she's thinking . ''hm?''

''Are you possibly thinking the same thing as me ?'' now my eyes squint, trying my best to read her expression.

'' If you are thinking about dressing yourself up as a male and infiltrating the all-boys prestigious Uni then yes, we are thinking the same thing!'' her grip on my wrists is tight and I feel light headed when she shakes me like a polaroid as soon as I nod.

''CALL CHRISTIAN RIGHT NOW! SOME MADAME DOUBTFIRE MAKEOVER SHIT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN IN THIS BITCH!'' She screams at the top of her lungs.

"You called me here because am what?" Christian took place on the sofa beside me. Brows creased together, he leaned forward, as if he hadn't heard me the first time. He heard me perfectly fine. "Because you're the dude-dest dude I know and I need to learn how to become a dude."

He drowns himself deeper in the couch, taking a chunk of his locks between his fingers, he let out an exasperated "what kind of fucking drugs do you guys take to come up with this shit?" And shortly after "Okay, I'll help."

This was our relationship. Christian Yu a very stable young adult that happened to be my childhood neighbor. Even when I moved out of my mother's home, he never left me behind. Kind of like a big brother that allows me to do dumb shit only with his supervision.

"This might seem crazy but just trust me on this. It might work,"I reassure.

His eyes bulge “What exactly might work Venice please don’t tell-”

“I can’t keep living on like this. I don’t want to live a meaningless life all while knowing that I can achieve so much more. Just entering that school and studying to become a lawyer would be a huge step for me” my jaw clenches “Its a step towards my goal and..” nostrils flared, I watch Christian tense, the weight of my words slowly seep into his pores, completely changing his first resolve. “ I will fulfill it no matter what”.

“I understand what you want to do but wouldn't that be proving what the government is doing to people like you -no offense, right? You're just doing what they expect of the children of criminals, you're becoming one too” He remains tense. Lower lip stuck between his pearly teeth, Christian avoids eye contact.

“Reflect on this: What do criminals have in common?” I get up from the couch under the perplexed gaze of my friend.

Lips puckered, brows screwed together, he comes up with an answer quickly “Its simple, they do illegal things!”

“That's partially true but I want you do think of the biggest names in the dark world, the infamous one. What brought them together besides the fact that what they did was prohibited?” I am patient, smiling down at my friend who racks his brain fora retort. His wide shoulder slump, not knowing where exactly am I go going with this. I give in, choosing to spare him a brain burn out “they were all selfish.”

“W-What?”

“yes, it really is that simple.” I smirk “ Just think about it, All their lives, their goal was to enrich themselves, gain profit or some form of power. They were ready to do whatever it took to gain these things. Kill, steal ect. What separates me from them is that I am not only doing this for me but the others who suffer alongside me in silence. We both know that the system is wrong and should be taken down even if that means sacrificing the little freedom I have.” I exhale, coming back to sit near Christian on the couch.

He sighs, elbows now up on his tighs, he rubs his eyes. “Fine, I support you in this but please don't you dare end up in jail or else-”

“You’ll lose your mind since you can't live without her.” Haerin finally speaks. She had remained so silent I forgot that she was even there.

“Y-yeah, you're probably right actually, I don't think I can't live without either of my girls” he pipes, scooping both of us in his toned arms and engulfing us in a tight hug.

“Let me go, Chris, my face is literally buried in your armpits” Haerin whines.

“Then smell them!”

“Oh no, you don”t-”I send my knee in his crotch in a matter of seconds, making him groan in agony all while curling into a ball on the floor. Haerin stares unbothered, pulling out her phone and calling someone. The conversation is short but it leaves a smile on her lips when she hangs up.

"Okay whores, I just called the best makeup artist in town. After you get your lesson on how to become an owner of a dick and get a makeup lesson cuz god knows you struggling in that.." Haerin shakes her head and muffles a laugh with her hand when I pipe out “bitch.”

"You will go in the room and do what you have to do to make the world believe you are a man."

"Okay, let's start then!" the serious and somber mood is gone, excitement is now what is left behind. Am thrilled, justice pumps through my veins and it's only fueled more by the support of my friends. I can do this

"Okay let's start then...but no homo"

"I know I taught you to use 'no homo' but it doesn't mean you need to say it in every sentence, Venice," Christian shouts from the kitchen, watching the makeup artist teach me the basics on how to make my face look more masculine and the brands that stay on the longest.

Haerin had told her that we were just filming a really weird porno and the women weirdly enough, nodded as if what Haerin said was something that she had seen often.

A couple more minutes spent by my side and she was out of the house, I shooed Christian and Haerin out as well.

With years of fraudulent knowledge in my hands, creating a new identity would be a breeze.

What should my new name be?

I grab my phone and open the group chat

Me: I need Name ideas, got anything? [5:15]

Chris: keep it simple... something like Steve Duncan or whatever [5:17]

Haerin: Don't listen to this loser, Bob Mcniplecoker shall be your new name, beloved ;) [5:17]

Chris: i- [5:18]

Me: 00Ooo thank you Haerin! very cool! [5:18]

Chris: please don't tell me you're actually using that- why am I the only sane person in this group? [5:19]

I shut off my phone, content with the name and ready to get down to serious business. Hours and hours of serious business.

Creating a whole new identity sure was time-consuming.

The wait was over.

The letter who held my fate had arrived to my surprising displeasure. I huffed a breath of frustration. Why am I so nervous? With the grades I have, it is certain I’ll be getting in but why can't I open it?

The pretty creme letter waited for no one other than me to open it. I was first made known of its presence when I was taking a shit and my uncle so kindly slid it under the door when he was staying over for a couple days.

All Boys: Great Jeon University

I had just finished taking a shit but after re-reading the letter I felt like taking a second shit. Curling on the floor, my nose rose up in defiance as I glanced at the paper, still centimeters away from under the door.

Let's just open the letter and get this over with.

With trembling hands, I reached over to the letter but I at last second I let my hand fell back to my side.

This Is so stressful! Is it possible to vomit and shit your pants all at the same time? I shot up, heading to the sink determined, with a couple splashes of cold water on my face I stared at myself in the mirror, determined.

I pursued my full lips, taking in a pimple that formed right next to my thick brows. This stress is really getting to me. I know damn well that a pimple wouldn't have been there otherwise.

"Okay you big wuss, tear that shit open !" I gas myself up, finally picking up the letter, I rip the envelope, already expecting the worst.

"Dear Mister. Mcniplecocker, we are glad to inform you that you have been accepted-"

“Oh thank God...” relief washes down on me like a ton of bricks. ”Thank

god..”I exhale, I can't contain the small smile that forms on my lips.

"THIS CALL FOR DANGEROUSLY HIGH AMOUNTS OF CALORIES !" Haerin shouts, grabbing the takeout menu to order too much food and possibly max out her credit card. She is reckless and often thinks of the consequences after she does something but if she ever got in trouble with the law due to her shenanigans, me, a soon to be law student would help her.

Christian took his usual seat at my right and Haerin at my left on our favorite brown couch. They were here so often on this couch that their butts were permanently imprinted.

"I need to tell you guys about this girl I've met. She's older but I swear I've never seen a woman more beautiful" Christian gushed, tugging on my shirt. "Oh, my man is finally getting some action! I started getting worried for you I was almost going to ship you with Haerin."

The girl snapped her head to look at me at the mention of her name. "Excuse me? Me and Christian? I'd rather let your creepy pillow anime guy date me." She snickered and I scoffed "Bitch, you wish Makoto Tachibana would be with your dusty crusty ass plus you're acting like Christian is ugly! I mean he might be a lil on the grandpa side since he's so old but-"

He deadpanned. "I'm literally 25 ???"

"Anyways, in two months I'll be going to one of the most prestigious schools and I'll be a lawyer. If one of you ever gets in trouble with the law don't call me because I'll be the one making sure you go to jail." I joke, picking a movie on the laptop.

I was over the moon. Things were going my way and it felt good, so good.

"If you ever do get caught, who will defend you ?" Christian hesitated when he asked, not wanting to stress me.

"Don't jinx it, idiot. I won't happen, don't worry." Haerin leaned forward, taking my hand in hers and gave me a small smile not knowing that the damage was already done.

It was something that I ridiculously tried shoving at the back of my brain. It was something I needed to face. I was going to be a lawyer for crying out loud, I knew that I could face time in jail and fines I wouldn't be able to afford to pay.

It was something I was ready to risk. For my education. I was breaking the law in order to work as a person who enforced the law. How ironic.

"Yeah, don't jinx it, Chris."

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tk-pierre-blog · 7 years

Text

Chapter 1 of McDanno Coda Fic

Steve was sitting up straight, head facing rigidly ahead; he reread the poster on the wall in front of him. It was an infographic of the heart. It talked about the different parts of it and how to keep it healthy. This was his 8th time rereading it. He knew it by heart at this point, he smirked at his own silent pun, but he needed something to distract him, distract him from the holes Danny’s eyes were burning into him.

Danny was sitting to his left, his goofball behavior from the last time they were in a hospital room was gone.

Steve had pointed at the otoscope when the doctor had left the room five minutes ago. “Vant to check for brain?” He had said with a smirk, “znothing...zere…” the smirk faded at Danny’s look of concern and anguish.

Since then, no matter how many times Steve would ask Danny to cheer up, tell him that he would be fine, Danny still stared at Steve with his big sad eyes. Danny’s memory had also flashed back to the last time they had gone to the hospital together, but not to the play doctor fun they had. He was thinking about how the last time they were in a hospital together, he had specifically asked the doctor if Steve had radiation poisoning. The answer had been no. Danny knew that certain tests had to be run to look for it, that it had to be looked for in the first place, they hadn’t been looking for it that one time. This is what he kept telling himself. He tried to shut up the part in his brain that was asking him, telling him, he should have asked them to look for it specifically, maybe if they had found out sooner, Steve wouldn’t be in this mess. Why hadn’t he asked for Steve to get checked for it sooner?

Finally the door opened and Danny's attention diverted to the doctor walking in.

“So?” Danny broke the silence first, coming to his feet, his voice low, itchy and dry in his throat.

“Well, you do have radiation poisoning Mr. McGarrett.”

“Commander.” Danny corrected quietly, without realizing. His voice lower than he ever thought possible.

“Yeah, I know I do.” Steve nodded, his shoulders were pulled back, his face taut. He was in military mode, Danny noted, repressing his emotions.

“The reason we wanted you to do the tests, doc, was to get a second opinion from a different doctor.” Danny forced down a ragged breath as he looked up at the doctor, “different opinion on the outcome. How…” he waved his hand, not being able to vocalize the dark thoughts clouding his mind.

“How long he has.” The doctor nodded. The way he said it was a little too nonchalantly for Danny's liking. It made him want to punch the doctor in the face. “Well, what did your doctor tell you?” He looked at Steve.

Danny's worried eyes turned back to Steve. Ever since finding out, he'd been trying to get Steve to tell him the specific words the doctor had said, but Steve just kept repeating what he had said when they’d been standing outside the bathroom.

“Alright, ten different opinions,” Danny had told him that night, once he was able to recompose himself enough to follow Steve into the kitchen. “Let’s go get the second opinion tomorrow.”

“What?” Steve asked, staring up at him from the seat he had taken, he looked so pale and unlike himself, it was making Danny’s head dizzy with fears.

“Yeah, tomorrow morning, we go see a different doctor. Have em run some tests, get their opinion.” Danny said. Steve knew Danny wouldn't let him say no so he decided to agree and avoid the argument.

There they were, nearly a week later, called back in for the test results. Steve was still trying to figure out how to answer the question the doctor had asked him.

“It-" he glanced at Danny, his face rearranged itself for a split second, too fast for Danny to classify it, before going stoic again, “it doesn't matter what the other doctor said.” Then, at Danny's upset face, “just that there might… will most likely be some complications down the line.”

“Yes, well the fact that you didn't start experiencing radiation poisoning symptoms within your first 24 hours of exposure is a good sign. That means that the amount of radiation your body absorbed wasn't intensely severe.”

“He's been throwing up a lot lately.” Danny said, shifting the weight on his feet, his eyebrows were burrowed so close together they seemed to be one.

~~~ flashback time ~~~

That night, at Jerry’s celebration party, Danny decided it would be best if he and Charlie slept over, that way they could go get the tests run at the hospital the next day, while Nahele watched Charlie.

“Nahele, is it alright if Danny and Charlie sleep over?” Steve asked, once everyone but Danny and Charlie had left the party.

Nahele nodded, it wasn’t unusual for Danny to crash on their couch every so often.

“Alright, I’ll sleep in my parents room, you can take mine,” Steve said placing his hand on Nahele’s shoulder, “Charlie can sleep in yours, that cool?”

This was what usually happened whenever another Williams slept over too. Nahele nodded, “I’ll go change the sheets on the beds.”

“Thank you.” Steve said, Danny echoing him.

“Charlie, do you want to go help him?” Danny asked, Charlie gave him a big smile and nod, Nahele chuckled and led Charlie upstairs. Danny’s eyes followed them up, then he followed Steve into the kitchen.

“Have you told him?” He asked as he jumped up on the kitchen counter.

“I just found out yesterday morning.”

“So, no.”

“You're the first person I told Danny. He just got back from a school year abroad, okay. We’re still catching up. He doesn’t even know about the dirty bomb. And it’s not even a big deal right now, you know, why worry him, it’s all long term. I’m okay.”

“Uh Huh.” Danny said eyeing Steve’s pale face. He had noticed Steve hadn’t seemed to be getting better as the night progressed, though he put on a “nothing's wrong” face for everyone else, he’d disappeared to the bathroom four more times during the party. Danny wondered if this had been going for a while and he just hadn’t noticed until now, he had been out of town most of last week.

“Danny will you stop it, with that look. C’mon, I’m craving some pancakes, let’s make some pancakes for the boys.” Steve said turning his back to Danny to fetch the ingredients.

“Steve, it’s nearly midnight. And it’s a Monday. They need to go to bed.”

“Charlie’s five! He can miss a day of kindergarten. And Nahele, he’s already done with school remember, with the whole Junior year abroad, took his finals last week.” Steve suddenly turned back around, an excited grin on his face.

“Mhmm.” Danny said cautiously.

“We can sleep in. Go out for breakfast, maybe pull Gracie out of - or not. Or Not.”

“Her finals are coming up! What you want to pull Grace out of school during her, what, her uh- uh review sessions? You want her to get Fs on her Freshman year report card, huh? Let me tell you something, she’s not going to play hooky, okay? Just because you get to break the rules, that doesn’t mean she can. Don’t teach her that, please.”

“I was just thinking, you know. She’s been studying real hard right? Couldn’t come today because of it. Thought it’d be nice if the five us could go out to eat. Nahele’s been gone for almost a year. Thought it’d be nice if we could all go out to eat together; been a while since the five of us went out to eat. A family meal or somethin…”

“Okay, well, how bout uh, we do a family dinner instead.”

Steve smiled, “ok.”

“Pancakes?!” Nahele and Charlie said in unison as they walked into the kitchen. Nahele had some fresh sheets in his arms and Charlie was holding clean pillows.

“Yeah,” Danny hopped off the counter, “Steve’s idea.” He gave Steve’s shoulders a quick squeeze before going to fetch the rest of the materials.

“Okay, well we changed the sheets upstairs, just need to change the sheets in my room.” Nahele said, Steve and Danny thanked them as he and Charlie walked into the bedroom across from the kitchen, the one that used to be Mary’s, a long time ago.

At three am, when Danny woke up to go the bathroom he found Steve in the kitchen drinking chocolate milk, turns out he’d woken up in a cold sweat, running to go throw up. At four am, two pukes later, Steve and Danny wondered if Danny should go sleep in the Master bedroom upstairs with Steve, to keep an eye on him. At five am, Charlie woke up screaming from a nightmare and Steve and Danny ran to his room to comfort him. At seven am Steve found himself waking up in the downstairs bedroom, sleeping on top of the sheets, Danny sound asleep on the other side, atop the sheets as well, Charlie tucked in snugly between them; Steve fell back asleep with a smile on his face. At nine am, after another bathroom session and a quick shower, and check in on Nahele, who was snoring comfortably in Steve’s bedroom, Steve re-joined Danny and Charlie in the 1st floor bedroom. At noon, Steve was woken up by a call from Chin, he reached quickly for his phone, silencing it, scared it’d wake up Charlie and Danny, only to blink open his eyes and see they weren’t on the bed with him, in his confusion he missed Chins call, he then fell back asleep by accident. At one pm he woke up to Danny lightly shaking him, saying they had missed the timeframe for their whole breakfast plan and that he was pretty sure Nahele would sleep in till 9 pm if they didn’t go wake him up right now.

“Hey, uh, I think Chin called me.” Steve said as he and Danny walked up the stairs, he swept his hands across his face, still groggy from sleep.

“Yeah. Kono. I’ll fill you in later.” Danny said, Steve’s eyebrows burrowed, that woke him up.

“Hey! He’s up! It’s a miracle.” Danny grinned when he and Steve walked into the bedroom.

Nahele was sitting up on the bed, Charlie sitting across from him giggling.

“Uh huh. Charlie told me you sent him up here to jump on the bed.” He said, before going to tickle Charlie. Charlie let out a scream of laughter as he tried to wiggle free.

“Yeah cause you’ve been saying five more minutes for the past two hours.” Danny said hands lifting in the air in frustration, then pointing at the bathroom. “You're lucky he woke you up because I was getting ready to dump some cold water on you.”

Steve chuckled as he looked at Nahele, “don’t worry I just woke up too.”

“Shower, both of ya. Charlie and I have already showered and brushed our teeth, changed, had a nice little breakfast from the left over pancakes. There’s plates waiting for you downstairs. Oh and uh, Grover offered to bring Gracie by after school, it lets out in an hour or so.”

“I already showered.” Steve said, turning to Danny. In the background Charlie decided he would use the distraction to try and break free from Nahele’s arms.

“You what?” Danny said, staring at Steve. Nahele was too quick for Charlie and quickly brought him back in for another tickle session.

“I already showered.”

“When, in your sleep?”

“No I woke up early and showered.”

“Then went back to sleep…” Danny asked, shoulders lifting.

“... yeah.” Steve gave him a firm nod.

Danny just stared at him, his eyebrows scrunched together.

“Okay. Well. Good. Can you come downstairs for a second, I need to talk to you. Charlie you're in charge, make sure Nahele brushes his teeth.” Charlie nodded with a big smile, staring triumphantly at Nahele as he stopped tickling him. Danny reached to grab Steve’s arm and led him downstairs.

“Whats up?”

“Uh. A few things.” Danny said as he tilted his head to the side. Steve crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowing.

“Um. Let’s start with Kono.”

“Yeah what happened, she didn’t come to the party last night, she okay?”

“No. Yes. She’s, she’s fine. She’s in Carson City.” Danny nodded, “Trying to take down the sex trafficking ring there.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up, chin shooting forward. “Does she need back up? I mean what happened?”

“Uh, well. Adam got back from a business meeting with Hirsch and found a letter on his bed. Sound familiar, huh Dear Danno ?”

“That, doesn’t sound like Kono.”

“Well no, but uh, well, this is something that was very important to her. She goes home to get ready for the party. Can’t shake the feeling that she should be doing something more. Tried calling Adam, left a voicemail, nice touch, wrote him a letter, then booked the first flight out of here. Adam called Chin as soon as he heard the voicemail. Her plane landed this morning. Talked to Adam. Talked to Chin.”

Steve nodded, eyes settling on the counter for a second, Danny let him process. “Okay,” Steve finally spoke up, eyes landing on Danny again, “what’s the other thing? You said it was more than one thing.”

“Yeah. Uh. Your decision.” Danny’s hand went out to briefly rest on Steve’s chest. “And I want you to know that I will support you on whatever you decide. But uh, what do you want to tell everyone, if you want to tell anyone.”

Steve nodded. “Um. Well, we tell each other everything in five-o right? We’re ohona.” Danny nodded. “As for the kids… what do you think?”

Danny’s eyes shifted to the side, his head tilting. “This morning at breakfast, Charlie was asking why Uncle Steve was throwing up so much yesterday. I think Nahele’s noticed it too. I mean, trust me, I get not wanting to worry them, especially for something we’re not really sure about yet. But, I do think they’ll notice somethings up. Especially if you keep throwing up like you have been for the past 24 hours.”

Steve nodded, head dropping for a second.

~~~ Back in the hospital in now time ~~~

“Well yes,” the doctor said, bringing Danny back to reality, “he’s been throwing up because his body still absorbed some of the radiation poisoning. The pills your doctor prescribed you, do you feel that they aren't working?”

“Just, some days better than others.” Steve replied, eyes locking with Danny.

“Well, have you noticed the effects more on stressful days? You run a task force, I imagine you've had a lot of those.”

“Could that make him more sick? He uh, he jumped off a really high bridge onto a moving truck a few days ago, I think that’s what started this bad throw up spell. Uh, a week before that he scaled up the side of a building, like spiderman, to stop some terrorist from blowing up a plane.” Danny said before Steve could open his mouth.

“Well,” the doctor said, trying to wrap his head around those scenarios, “stress can make anyone sick Detective Williams. Especially a build up of it. The body releases certain chemicals and hormones that-”

“What about the liver?” Danny asked, “he has a liver transplant.”

“Yes, you mentioned that when you came in for the tests, and it is on his medical file. Stress has been shown to negatively affect the liver, blood flow to the part of the brain that controls the liver is impaired when under high amounts of stress, NKT cells expand when stressed and can cause liver cell death, cortiso-”

“Okay, so… what are you saying doc?” Danny cut him off, hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

Steve’s eyes were on Danny, he could hear the panic, feel the panic radiating from the man. “Danny.” He said, surprised by how low and dry the name came out. He took a hard swallow and a deep breath, “Danny I’m going to be fine.”

Danny’s head swiveled to face Steve, he was still wearing a reserved, quiet, facial expression. “You're going to be fine?” Danny said, not meaning for it to come out so accusatory and angry.

Steve reached out and clasped his hand around his partner's shoulder. It surprised Danny how much that calmed him down. They maintained eye contact with each other, as if sharing secret telepathic messages.

“There is the possibility of cancer or leukemia developing down the line.”

Danny’s eyes slammed shut at the doctor's words, he was finding it hard to breathe and could feel his heart trying to rip out of his chest, he wasn’t sure how, or if, he was still standing, everything was spinning, everything was spinning and he felt like he was crashing, like he was drowning, he couldn’t breath, he couldn’t breath, he couldn’t breath.

“Hey.” Danny could hear Steve saying, but there was a pounding in his ears that made Steve's voice sound like a muffled whisper. He felt the warmth and tightness around his shoulder disappear, only to reappear half a second later on his jawline. He let the weight of his head lean into Steve's hand, the pounding sound slowly fading. He drew in a heavy shaky breath. He let it out. Finally, he let himself open his eyes and Steve was standing right in front of him, he'd jumped off the examination table and his face was now leveled with Danny's.

“Where's the doctor?” Danny asked, voice miserable, eyes not leaving Steve's for a second.

“I asked him to give us a minute.” Steve said, his eyes were wide and peering into Danny's, as if blinking might cause Danny to disappear.

“C’mere.” Steve said after a beat, straightening up and cupping Danny's neck and back, pulling him into a hug. Danny’s arms wrapped tightly around Steve, his hands clutching onto the back of Steve’s shirt.

It was normal for them to hug, they'd shared many soul crushing hugs after many life or death moments. But this one was different. It felt... different .

“I'm going to be okay.” Steve said, after what had felt like five minutes, arms still tightly wrapped around Danny, head resting on Danny’s.

“I know you are.” Danny replied softly, voice slightly muffled, head still pressing against Steve's chest in their hug. He didn't make any sign of moving or releasing Steve anytime soon. The sound of Steve's heart beat calmed him down, it was strong and steady, unlike his own frantic one. He didn't want to let go until both were in sync.

1st Chapter of my We Have To Tell You Something McDanno coda for post season 7 pre season 8. I’m uploading weekly to AO3, chapter 2 is already up :)

https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarinaWrites/pseuds/KarinaWrites/works

#mcdanno #hawaii five-0 #h50 #h50 season 8 #h5o #fanfic #coda #mcdanno coda #ao3 #mcdanno fanfic

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lillikat · 7 years

Text

Dear Pervert – An Open Letter.

*Names will not be mentioned so as to protect the guilty. This letter may contain issues which could trigger those with a past history of sexual abuse or harassment - ie: most women*

Dear Pervert,

So we’ve been acquaintances on Twitter for what must be now 6 years or so. You followed me, and I reciprocated. I remember as I don’t find and follow many over there, only the truly fascinating, which you did not come under.

You whore your watercolour paintings on Twitter, occasionally asking for feedback and often not actually wanting it. Just trying to “engage your audience” I suppose. I gave feedback on works I liked and on aspects that you openly asked for. Very occasionally you replied to me. Nice, but busy and possibly rather self involved was my diagnosis of you from these interactions.

I believe you once sent me a spam message, whining about how you wanted me to promote you or join you on Facebook. I ignored the crap out of that. Perhaps there was more to that message, now I think about the way you treated me yesterday.

Your watercolours are supposedly amongst the best in the UK with your distinct style which you have given a unique name to (yes bitch, I did look you up and did some light internet homework after our interaction yesterday. Some of these details were most unflattering, very eye-opening and brought some light to our interaction). I was happy to retweet on my own terms, as I liked your use of light, perhaps even considered buying one at some point when I actually had money, obviously not now. I wouldn’t want anything your fuckboy hands have been involved in anywhere near me now.

So despite our complete lack of personal interaction, really getting chatting to each other, you decided to push yourself on me yesterday. Not the first, nor shall you be the last to demand my attention by DMing me out of nowhere, relying upon the fact I have manners and humanity, knowing that I would not outright ignore a simple greeting. However, I smelt fuckery straight away. You see a LOT of men seem to think I am here for their amusement, be that sexual or otherwise.

**Look boys, if your mum didn’t breast feed you enough or hug you, that is not my problem. If you want me to be your therapist, I require payment and for you, “Dear Pervert” that price is tripled. **

So regardless of my thinking “oh shit, another man looking for a mother or slut and I can’t be titted being either.” I responded to your ill conceived, terribly spelt attempt at communication. Perhaps I was wrong, after all, you try to sell work through this Twitter account, by DM nevertheless, there’s just no way you’d risk your professional reputation by being a creepy man on this account, would you?

Yet you did exactly that. 7 messages, that’s what it took you. No romance, no wooing, no paying attention to social cues like me telling you I am busy working, hinting (so clearly that a dog would have picked up my not so subtleties) that I wanted to be left alone and had no interest in you whatsoever. You just kept going didn’t you? Did not give one fuck that you might be making me uncomfortable, annoyed and deeply nauseous. No, because your dick was in control. You pathetic sack of crap, you let your base animal instincts override any sense of socially acceptable behaviour that you might have had.

7 messages of me saying I am working and you sending badly spelt trash, bibbling on about how your in bed and so tired. “Go to sleep then you absolute fanny and stop bothering me I have work to do” was what I was thinking but instead I stated “I am working, I have a lot to do so it will be many hours before I can similarly relax like you are doing.”

You piled on ambiguous emojis like a schoolgirl who’s just got their first smartphone. “Here check this shit out” I called to my husband as I stated I thought I had yet another live one on DM. That was on your second message - the third in our entire interaction. Then you witter on about distracting me from work. ”Dear Pervert”, you really should've bowed out but oh no, not you. You felt entitled didn't you? You then had me reaffirm my I AM BUSY statement and then sent me a shot of your erection barely clothed by grotty hospital style pyjamas.

What in the name of anything sacred or sane were you thinking? At no point did I state any interest in your grotty ass. Not one smidgeon. Not one cell of my being asked for your vague innuendo then shot of your erection. Bam! Rank pyjamas and that, in my face.

Thank you, “Dear Pervert”. Thank you for not reading my timeline or taking any blind bit of notice that I am part of the #metoo movement, part of the #SexAbuseChat survivors. Only recently found my voice. Only started to barely grace the depths of my survival and story. Barely trusting, yet finding strength in the shared stories of my sisters of the internet, stronger perhaps than I can ever be, who have managed to out their pain sooner. More succinctly than I.

Do you want to know my first thought “Dear Pervert”? You made me flashback to the time when I was on holiday with my natural father in a Bulgaria. The last time he forced me to share a room with him. You made me recall those 2 weeks in all their glory. Buckle up buttercup, because this is what you had me relive and refeel in all it's hideous detail. Part one. The Flasher. Not my first, by now I am in my early teens. I have faced emotional, physical, psychological and sexual abuse for many years. That was my secret. I became good at keeping secrets. But that’s a whole set of tales for another time, “Dear Pervert”.

Back to the flasher. My second by this point. I am waiting to get breakfast, it’s a raised static trailer, I am short and have to tiptoe to see over the counter edge. I place my order, the man says just a minute and exits. I step back and wait for what must be 5-10 minutes. I am looking at my shoes, bored and bewildered, when out of my peripheral vision I see the cook come back in, with his dick in his hand, masturbating furiously. By now, I know what to do. I am a child and already had faced so much worse. "Reaction, this shitbag wants me to give anything" was my first thought. Now my first flasher I shot down in flames by pointing at his penis and in my loudest, best stage laugh proclaimed if that’s all he had he’d better see a surgeon. This one deserved more and less. I immediately looked down at my watch swore about this guy being a lazy so and so, then walked off in the opposite direction to the nearest busy shop. I was shaking, I thought I was going to pass out or throw up. I walked slowly so he wouldn’t know I saw him, then sped up gradually, afraid this man was going to chase after me.

Part two. Daddy Dearest. I got back to the hotel room I shared with my father, telling him about the incident in full detail, as soon as he arrived. Surely he will do something or know who to tell, was my logic. No, in my natural father’s true style, he decided this would be the perfect occasion to show me his throbbing penis. Again for no reason. We were both reading later, after dinner. Father was in his underpants & t-shirt, which until then never bothered me. He then yelled jovially “hey what do you think of this?” and as I looked over at his bed he whipped down his underwear to reveal my second unwanted erection of the day. Again “Dear Pervert” I cannot underline, that even at this tender age, I was not a person to be reckoned with.

Let me break this down for those who have never experienced true fear. Seconds, feel like hours. Your heart races, you feel giddy, throat goes dry you swallow - it’s sand, you feel the shaking start, the adrenaline has kicked it now you have an eternity in this moment of horror. Sadly, I had lived here before. Many times. Fortunately, I have learned how to construct complex battle plans in those uncomfortable moments. A few seconds was all I needed.

I took one look at my natural father’s erection, raised an eyebrow and told him he should take that shit on children’s TV as a puppet act. Perhaps the broom cupboard on CBBC would take his act? I then went back to reading my book. I knew if I had reacted in any other way, we would have issues. Joke it off, brush it off as just a bit of fun then jam in the fact YOU ARE A CHILD in large letters, in hopes he will see. From that moment on, things between my father and I got worse. The brutal reality I had to face was that my father wanted me. Completely, in every sense of the word. My everything. I had to run. I had to survive, again. This had become my normality. I could never let him know that I had been here before. I knew even then, he would see that information as some sort of gateway for him to start full on abuse mode. I was not about to let that happen.

So to put it succinctly “Dear Pervert” you triggered memories of my father. For that I hate you.

In your scale of thinking it’s nothing, your junk was technically covered. No, no and NO. No means no, by the way. Drinking is not an excuse ever (looks like this excuse might be a habit for you “Dear Pervert”, again you made me look you up).

As for having a bad week, which was the main crux of your excuse. A bad week? Try having a hellish couple of years in which you almost lose every damn thing including your sanity and will to live. I’ve had that and not once sent pics of my flaps to random internet men. I think I might be able to speak on behalf of most women and say none of us would do that shit ever. I mean genitals are not attractive.

You don’t even remotely tickle my turnip “Dear Pervert” so why in god’s name would you think “oooh my barely covered erection is just what this conversation needs”?

You sir are a fuckwit. A massive gaping, diseased one at that. I have spent a day and a half by now (yeah writing this much vitriol takes time, it’s a craft) hating you “Dear Pervert” for the following reasons.

1: You hold a position of power. Lots of followers on Twitter, prolific artist, seemingly professional. I am an artist, just starting out, being sneered at for my style by the likes of bigwigs such as you. That is why I spoke to you on DM, that is why I gave you the time of day. I thought we shared a common passion, that you might be wanting to talk shop or art. You entered into a contract of trust and you pissed all over it. That’s what you’re doing when you randomly seek attention from a woman on the internet by the way. If they give you the time of day back, count your blessings behave like a gentleman and keep your dick where it belongs. Off my DMs and not in my face. You abused your position of power. For shame!

2: Right at the exact time your fuckery started my dog decided to start violently throwing up. Yet I had to take time out to yell at you & report you. So I’m just blaming you for my dog being sick, because I think she saw your pathetic wang and it made her chuck. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. It pleases me to do so.

3: I have had panic attacks, stomach aches & headaches since, thanks to the constant supply of panic adrenaline that my body seems to use as some form of defence. My heart has been racing, I can’t sleep & can’t eat. So thank you for that trauma.

4: You didn’t even care when I yelled at you and told you that I am not here to be an object of sexual gratification nor amusement to internet randoms, that I was a human with actual real feeligns attached to them. I also informed you that I am married, and again I didn’t want your pervy nonsense. Now every letter is riddled with hidden intent and double entendre. Every character takes on new meaning in light of your behaviour. You gave me eye rolled emoji like a fucking child. You make me sick.

5: I now worry about the safety of other women on the internet. Oh but fear not “Dear Pervert” the whisper network is in effect. I can’t out you here, but I absolutely can tell my loved ones to avoid you like a dose of virulent crabs. They have been told you are not professional and you are not a safe person. I think we can both agree on those very simple facts. My ladies will give you wide berth, they will tell other women who will tell other women who will tell other women. So in short if you’ve done this before (which I have to believe you have & much worse) it will come out eventually. If you really were just showing your dick to me and I was your special first, note if you do this again, the network will get stronger. Why? Because we are looking out for one another in trying times, as only real, actual humans do.

With that “Dear Pervert” I sign off.

Know the pain you have caused me and know you just pushed me to out pain and truth that I have never done before. You broke me, now there might be a landslide of cathartic outings here.

Sisters of the internet! You are not alone, together we are stronger. You there reading this, yes you. You are a Goddess. No you are, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Men, treat every woman as the Goddess she is. After all women have paid homage to your masculinity for aeons. Return the favour.

If we all treat each other as Gods & Goddesses, with the full respect that holds, perhaps there might be less of this infestation of men believing they have privilege over woman’s domain. Because random internet boys, we owe you nothing not one thing, therefore you have no right to demand anything from us ever.

We are not your sex toys.

We have feelings.

Yours Blistering with Rage

#metoo #onlinepervert #abuse #personal

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