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officerrrfriendly · 4 months

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The Taken, First Strike.

stranger things conjuring!AU, priest!steve harrington x demonologist/clairvoyant!fem reader.

With an abundance of reluctance, your feet found themselves taking brave steps one after another as they eventually met a birch-wood doorway. But it wasn't any ordinary doorway, inside sat her. The frail and misfortunate Maxine Mayfield, who you still referred to as such- out of a habit of profession- much despite her insistence on "just calling her max, she doesn't go by Maxine anymore."

And in that moment, all of your previous doubts from earlier flooded back into your brain, before you could give into them and turn back, she spoke out. She called your name, a glint of hope present in her tone with some desperation, too.

You sigh heavily to try and alleviate all the weight you suddenly feel pressing against your chest before you eventually reply.

"Hi, Maxine," you mutter, smiling softly before slowly approaching the vacant armchair beside her, full of funky patterns and colours. She sat timidly, her hands held onto one another whilst fingers from each hand wandered over freckles on the backs of her hands she had forgotten she had. Her hair was shorter now, bobbed and fell just below her ears but she was still so beautiful. You tried your hardest to avoid looking into the milky white orb of her left eye and the thick bandage that covered the gaping wound on her right.

If you thought about that night for any longer, you thought you would just about lose your mind- so you shook your head of protruding thoughts and focussed on the topic of importance here, which was the girl beside you.

She laughs, and this time it wasn't humourless or dry but it was real, amusing. "How many times have I told you to just call me Max, hm?" she pokes, she sits further up in her seat as you laugh along with her.

"If I had to guess...I'd say only about 100 million times," you say, with a sigh. Your answer makes her smile for a moment but then she sighs, something is clearly bothering her.

Unexpectedly, without needing encouragement to open up, she speaks. "No one's visited in a while, Lucas...he finds it hard coming here, seeing me like this. He's never said it- but..." she huffs, lowering her head down to the floor. "I know that every time he's here with me he's just stuck in that night, what happened to Billy...me. Even though I can't see him, I can sense it, he's terrified to be around me and I hate it. I hate it because I love him so much...do you have somebody like that?" As the forbidden question leaves her tongue it triggers thoughts you had wished to never think about again, you think of him- and how neither of you haven't seen or spoken to each other since that very night.

Your head shakes, wishing to be done with the thought of Father Steve, and how you've treated him since after the night of July 4th 1983...at the exorcism of Billy Hargrove.

"I'd rather not answer that question... Honey, tell me more about what's been going on with Lucas!"

.•.•.•

You wipe desperately at your tears as they fall on your way to your ocean-blue Austin Maestro car. Your fingers struggle to keep up with the vast amount that began to flood out of your tear ducts.

You harboured a considerably brave face - despite Max not being able to notice it- throughout the entire hour after Max had asked you that god-forsaken question to which you had no answer.

She had talked about Billy, her nightmares, PTSD, her love life and even her mom running off to the other side of the world with her new young boyfriend and a bottle of Jack...she lived a sad life, one you had hoped to someday be able to save her from. You wanted her to come and live in your miniature, yet cosy townhouse you had inherited from your late father Richie, god bless his soul.

Seeing her so frail and lonely, woke a sadness inside you that hadn't long gone away, however that sadness also carried a fuckton of guilt. The guilt of knowing that if you had actually, fully prepared for what you were getting into, perhaps you could have saved Billy Hargrove, Max's eyesight (and her sanity), along with her family.

CLONK, you pull on the door handle to the driver's side door and hop inside before taking one last pitiful glance at the hospice. "I'll be back for you...Max," you mutter.

You turn the rusty key into the ignition. The engine fires to life.

.•.•.•

Days had passed and now you were sitting, pondering in your office inside your humble abode. Max hadn't left your mind since your previous visit and you were thinking through the idea that has floated into your noggin and is actively refusing to leave.

A THUD snaps you out of your daydreams and you quickly glance up from your oak-stained desk to see the culprit who dropped four thick textbooks in front of you, stacked on top of one another. You groan when you realise that it's just Robin, the nosy librarian-now-assistant with a child-like grin on her face. 'Oh, she's up to something' you thought, rolling your eyes before asking- "What is it now, Roberto?" you ask, intrigued as you sit up in your seat.

"I think I may have a case for you, Psychic Sally." she grins smugly, pulling a picture of a young boy out of her pocket.

Now that caught your attention.

"Tell me everything."

And she does, she tells you about how a 'Joyce Byers' had called several times today whilst you were out buying groceries begging to speak with you, for your help and assistance as she believes something is gravely wrong with her 11-year-old boy Will and has been ever since they moved into their house two weeks ago with her fiance, Bob.

She claimed a fever, a change in behaviour, sickness and bruising randomly appearing all over his body seemingly coming from nowhere. OH! And not to mention whatever 'entity' is wreaking havoc among them is causing a putrid, rotten smell to linger throughout the entire house...and her dog suddenly died the first night living there after it refused to enter the home.

You were going to visit the Byers' residence...but not alone.

You had somebody to visit.

"Call Father Steve and tell him I need to speak with him immediately, please Robin," you demand, sighing nervously. as your right foot begins to shake uncontrollably under the table.

"Are you sure that's a...I...uhhh-yes! yes, I will go and do that for you right now, if that's...are you sure that's what you want to do because you know I can totally-" she rambles, her voice high-pitched and unsure.

You can't find words so you nod repeatedly, sporting a polite smile and motion at the door. She nervously laughs, gulping "Ha ha ha ha, well! I am just gonna - yep! Haha! Going," she begins to back out of the room pointing to the door, "going..." she reaches the handle before forcibly chuckling, "and gone!" she shuts the door and you can hear her scold "What the hell is wrong with you?...freak!! god...how do I still have this job?"

.•.•.•

"God...how do I still have this job?" Robin questions, huffing embarrassedly. She treks down the terracotta-painted hallway, full of plants and pictures of who Robin had learned to have been your late father. She had found that out accidentally on the first day of moving in with you when she asked, "Is that your husband?" which sparked a very awkward, tense conversation that you both had very quickly laughed off.

She had reached the coffee-coloured door with the cream handle and twisted it, opening the door to her room- filled with posters of Molly Ringwald, Phoebe Cates, Lisa Bonet, Madonna you name it and she had it!!

Full of purpose she sits on her side of the bed, cross-legged and grabs the telephone from her bedside table and dials Father Steve's number carefully before knawing on her lip and impending an answer.

The phone rings a good three times before there's an answer.

"Hello?"

A/N - Hi babies!! how was that?! I know it wasn't the longest but its just to give the story a good push before we really dive into the plot and have some fun. Poor Max :(( SHE DESERVES BETTER!! and poor Chester, such a sweet dog.

LMK how you found this chapter!!

current taglist: @stveharringtn

comment to be added loves :))

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yetanothersparrowofthedawn · 2 months

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Happier than ever

Pairing: Jake x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt, ex!Jake

Extended Masterpost

Context: Y/N is so so so perfectly happy *practiced smile* yay marital bliss.

Disclaimer: English isn’t my native language, so I apologize in advance for mistakes and awkward wordings to come. Also, I guess this fic could be triggering for some because it’s kind of sad and angsty.

Word Count: 2.5k

Previous Track: Honeymoon (3 months prior)

Chapter soundtrack: Happier than ever – Billie Eilish

When I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever. Wish I could explain it better. I wish it wasn't true.

The London night hung heavy outside the windows of the elegant townhouse YN now called home. She sat at her desk, surrounded by scattered sheets of lyrics and half-empty coffee cups. Despite the late hour, her mind refused to rest.

Ever since returning from her honeymoon, YN had been trying her best to bury herself in work. As she sifted through the papers, her phone buzzed insistently, breaking the silence of the night.

She glanced at the screen, the number displayed unfamiliar once again. Another anonymous call, just like the countless others that had become a regular occurrence since her move to London three months prior.

With a sigh, she hit the decline button and tossed the phone aside, frustration bubbling beneath her calm exterior.

At first, she dismissed it as a nuisance, perhaps a misguided fan or a random prankster. But the calls persisted. She had tried blocking the numbers, changing her settings, everything she could think of to put an end to it, but to no avail. The rare times she’d picked up, silence had greeted her before the caller abruptly disconnected.

That night, though, she noticed something. The International dialing code seemed different from usual. A quick google search informed her it was Brazilian.

Her thoughts drifted back to a short conversation she’d had a few weeks prior. Josh. He’d mentioned the band's upcoming tour in South America.

No, YN thought, there’s just no way. She brushed off the thought.

Still, she found herself lying in bed a couple hours later, checking Greta’s Instagram account. There was just no way. Only, she was met with a photo posted just an hour before. The description read, “Thank you for a remarkable show. See you soon, Sao Paulo.”

Fuck.

A week later, the glow of her phone illuminated the dark bedroom. Another call, another unknown number, another international code.

With a quick glance at Harry's sleeping form beside her, YN slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb him. She tiptoed towards their bathroom and quietly locked the door behind her.

The girl leaned against the sink, her fingers trembling as she answered the call. Silence greeted her on the other end, a heavy weight pressing down on her chest.

Enough of this.

"Jake?" she tried, her voice barely a whisper. But there was no response, only the empty void that seemed to stretch on endlessly.

"Is that you?" She tried again, desperation creeping into her voice. But still, there was nothing, only the echo of her own words bouncing back at her.

Frustration bubbled up inside her, mingling with the deep-seated concern that gnawed at her from within.

“Jake, I know it’s-” the call abruptly disconnected. Her heart sank, an uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of her stomach.

For the following three weeks, YN found herself in a semi-constant state of anxiety, her eyes darting nervously to her phone at every passing moment. Nights offered no respite, each small noise in the house sending her heart racing as she scrambled to check her phone.

Finally, on yet another sleepless night, her phone lit up. American dialing code. The boys might have returned to the States before embarking on the European leg of their tour.

Silently slipping out of bed, she made her way to the kitchen and answered the call. Without surprise, she was once again greeted by silence.

After a brief moment, she spoke into the void. "Are you alright?"

There was no immediate response, only the sound of uneven breaths on the other end of the line.

"It's late," she stated firmly. "I'm going to hang up now—"

"I wanted...” the caller suddenly spoke. Her breath was caught in her throat. She’d been right. “I wanted to hear your voice," his voice was rough, his words slurred. YN sighed.

“Are you drunk?” she asked, her tone annoyed. But there was no reply, only the quiet of the night surrounding her.

Suddenly, a noise erupted from the other end of the line, a distant car horn echoing through the darkness.

"What was that?" YN's voice rose with concern. "Was that a car? Have you been driving?"

She knew too well of Jake's reckless habits, the demons that had haunted him like a shadow. The thought of him spiraling out of control in some far-off corner of the world sent a chill down her spine.

"Fucking say something," she snapped, her frustration boiling over. But before she could receive an answer, the call abruptly ended. She winced.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Panic began to gnaw at the edges of her mind as she struggled to make sense of the situation.

“Love,” a voice broke her train of thoughts, “what are you doing up?”

Harry.

“It’s Patty” YN said, turning to face him. “Go back to bed, I’ll be right behind you.”

Harry's brow furrowed with concern. "Is everything alright?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for any sign of distress.

"Yeah," she replied hastily, attempting to brush off his concern with a forced smile. "Just... schedule stuff." She shocked herself with how quickly the lies kept on tumbling out.

“Okay," Harry nodded, turning to head back to bed.

YN couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that ate at her conscience as she watched him leave the room. She hated lying to him, but she couldn't bear to burden him with the truth of her worries, not when she didn't even know how to confront them herself.

When the bedroom door clicked shut behind Harry, YN wasted no time. With trembling fingers, she dialed a number and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" Josh's voice, groggy with sleep, came through the line.

"Do you know where he is?" YN's hushed words rushed out.

"YN, it's like 1am over here, what—" Josh started to protest, but she cut him off.

"Do you know where he is?" she repeated, her tone insistent.

"Where is wh—"

"Jake," she interjected, her voice trembling. "Do you know where Jake is?"

Josh paused for a moment before responding, his voice serious. "At his place, I assume. Why? Wh-what's going on?"

YN struggled to find the words, her mind racing with a million thoughts at once. She quickly explained the situation, knowing that Josh would understand without needing further explanation.

Josh fell silent for a moment. He, too, knew the root of her concern, and understood what scared her to death.

"I'll take care of it," he assured her, his voice firm with determination. "Don't worry."

Relief flooded through YN as she hung up the phone, though she couldn't bring herself to return to bed. Instead, she sat on the sofa, her nerves on edge as she waited anxiously for an update.

The minutes stretched into hours, and the first rays of sunlight began to filter through the window when she finally received a text from Josh.

"He's okay," it read.

Exhaustion gave way to mounting frustration and anger. That’s it? She thought. She’d been staying up all night for this shit; lying to her husband for this shit. She sighed heavily; biting the inside of her cheek so hard she could taste blood.

Fuck this.

YN texted back, “Thanks. Tell him to leave me alone.”

After a couple of weeks of silence, with no calls disrupting the uneasy calm, YN began to hope for long-lasting peace. She almost felt guilty for her earlier frustrations, often wondering whether Jake was doing better.

However, any hopes of tranquility were shattered when a storm erupted in the Greta Van Fleet online fandom.

A fan's comment on one of Jake's posts caught fire, igniting a frenzy of speculation. The comment read, "Okay, I was at last night's concert and let’s just say, it was not it. I feel like that's been happening a lot recently. So, what is it my man? Trouble with the fam? or did some bitch do you dirty?"

To everyone's shock, Jake had replied to the comment.

Two words.

"The latter."

The internet exploded, and although Jake deleted the comment an hour later, the damage was done. The news reached YN like a punch to the gut.

She couldn't believe it. To have Jake talk shit about her on the internet was a new low. Though no one outside of their inner circle knew he was referring to her, the mere implication cut deep. And there was nothing she could even do or say. Especially from halfway across the world.

YN stood on the balcony, gazing out at the sprawling London skyline, but instead of feeling captivated by its beauty, bitterness flooded her senses. Jake had somehow managed to make her hate this city. Worst, he’d made her resent Harry for simply asking her to move there. The constant rain felt like a mockery, and the distance from where she truly belonged only amplified her sense of displacement.

And the most infuriating part? She had let him. Her thoughts were blinded by anger as she put pen to paper. Even after all this time, she had allowed Jake to ruin everything good. Perhaps it was a good thing she found herself far away from him. All he seemed capable of doing was bringing her endless sorrow.

Harry, on the other hand, was the epitome of reliability. He always showed up on time. Got along with her friends, got along with Patty. Did everything right.

So why was Jake the one occupying her thoughts day and night? It was like a poison, slowly corroding the good in her life until all that was left was the bitter taste of regret and anger.

As YN stood on the balcony, her phone suddenly lit up. Jake's name. He finally had the guts to call her with his own phone.

She reached for the device, her fingers curling around it tightly. She stared at it for a moment, considering her options. She could let it ring. Or she could reply. For what, though? She thought. Some half-assed apology? Telling her how it’s all some big misunderstanding?

Without a second thought, she clenched her jaw and, with a determined flick of her wrist, let her phone drop over the railing, watching as it plummeted towards the ground below.

The sound of shattering glass echoed through the night as the device met its demise on the pavement.

It was a stupid but cathartic gesture. With a sense of finality, she turned away from the balcony, leaving behind the remnants of her broken phone and the memories it held.

Two weeks later.

Jake stumbled along the hotel hallway. The band had just wrapped up a show in Glasgow, which had gone rather well considering the blinding hangover that had been clinging to their lead guitarist throughout the tour. Jake had therefore rewarded himself with a local treat, that is, the now half-empty bottle of scotch in his hand. When in Rome, right?

Feeling for his keycard in his pockets, Jake cursed softly as he came up empty-handed. He decided to try the room across from his, hoping his baby brother hadn’t gone to bed just yet. He pressed his ear against the door and breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of a TV playing inside. Bingo.

With a drunken knock, Jake announced his presence before the door swung open to reveal Sam. "What's up?" he greeted.

"Lost my key," Jake mumbled, brushing past Sam and collapsing onto the nearest bed. " m’tired," he added, his words slurred from the alcohol.

However, amidst the haze of his drunken stupor, Jake noticed something amiss.

It was too quiet.

“Why d’you turn it off?” Jake asked, curious.

“Mmh?” The bass-player replied.

“The TV” Jake specified. He had a feeling something was up.

"Oh, uh, nothing good is on right now," Sam replied nervously, his attempt at nonchalance falling flat. "British TV sucks ass," he added hastily. The youngest Kiszka had never been much of a good actor. Jake stared for a moment and Sam knew he could see right through him.

“Jake-” Sam tried protesting, but his brother had already snatched the remote and turned the TV back on. The bright light of the screen suddenly lighting up their features and the sound of laughter filling the hotel room.

There she was. Seated elegantly on the talk show couch. YN exuded confidence as she engaged in conversation with the host.

“So, tell me something,” the host leaned in, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “when are we going to get some new music?” A ripple of anticipation coursed through the audience, and a mischievous smirk danced across YN’s lips.

“Well, I actually just finished recording a bunch of tracks, so—" Before she could finish, the audience erupted into deafening cheers, their excitement palpable. “I know, I know, it’s exciting,” YN continued, her voice barely audible over the enthusiastic applause, “I can’t wait to get back on the road.”

“Back on the road?” the host raised an eyebrow, a playful tone in his voice, “Have you grown tired of Hubby already?”

YN chuckled. "Well, who says I'm not packing him in my suitcase?" she quipped. The audience laughed at her comeback.

"Talking about Mr. Harry Styles,” loud cheers exploded at the host’s mention of YN’s husband, “a little birdie told me you two just purchased a house in our fair capital, is that right?”

“Uh,” YN looked slightly surprised, feeling a pang of discomfort at the invasion of privacy, “yeah, we did get ourselves a little nest-”

“-a 9-million-pound nest” the host joked, eliciting laughter from the audience.

YN let out a polite chuckle. “Yeah, it is ridiculously grand, actually.”

“Is it your first time owning a place?” the interviewer asked.

“It is, yes, see, I’m originally from New York, so renting appartments has always been the way for me.” Jake’s mind drifted to their little apartment back in Nashville.

“Must be quite a change” the host declared.

“Kinda, yes,” she added, “it’s got a bunch of rooms that I haven’t seen in a while, like an actual laundry room, who knew that was even a thing?” the audience laughed, “and a foyer, whatever that is, and a-”

“-Nursery?” the host filled in. The audience leaned forward in anticipation.

“Well, aren’t you curious?” she said, maintaining a playful façade at the interviewer’s lack of tact, “But no, no nursery,” the audience could be heard huffing in disappointment.

“Ah well,” the host remarked, “someday soon.”

“Sure,” she replied with a forced smile, “someday.”

As Jake listened to the conversation, a thought crossed his mind: YN had always been unequivocal about her reluctance to have children. Then again, she had also once been adamant about her aversion to marriage. And yet, here she was with a ring around her finger. The bile rose in his throat.

“Well, we’re running out of time here,” the host abruptly announced, glancing at the monitor. “It’s been a real pleasure, and I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that the world is thrilled to see you embrace this newfound happiness, is that accurate?”

“Oh absolutely,” she replied with a tight smile. “I’m,” she paused, something unseen briefly flickering in her eyes, “happier than ever.”

YN never knew why but, after that night, the calls stopped.

Next Track: The Bomb

Extended Masterpost

Hope you liked it! Once again, I am begging you all to interact and leave comments it makes me so happy to get feedback and reactions xxx

Also, this is only the beginning lol. I have a billion drafts for other chapters so stay tuned, peaceful army.

Taglist

@aintthatapity

@sinarainbows

@vanfleeter

@gretavanhockey

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tiger-in-the-flightdeck · 2 years

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I was just thinking about how the Rogues, Len especially, don’t get enough recognition for having near Bruce Wayne levels of ‘Is anyone gonna adopt that?’ when it comes to kids.

Obviously it started with Wally after Barry’s disappearance. Len and Mick basically looked at him and went ‘Ope, Barry’s gone. I guess it’s up to us to raise him now.’ while Wally looks on, totally confused as these two former criminals show up at his house for barbecues and make sure his wiring gets done properly. He will spend the rest of his career being Kid to them, and probably gets noogied regularly.

The entire team adopts their tailor’s nephew and raise him, even before any of them tried to turn straight. Just this little bullied kid sitting on their laps, learning to cheat at poker, getting walked to and from school to make sure he doesn’t get beaten up.

When Owen shows up on the scene, Len knows that Lisa isn’t his mom, but he still goes straight in with his ‘Rogues are family’ speech and starts calling him Son and bragging that his boy’s got Speed.

I can just see Captain Marvel showing up in Central to help Flash with something, and every Rogue in the city just lifting their head and sniffing the air because ‘There’s a sad orphan out there somewhere who needs love and attention and to be called Champ.’ Next thing he knows, Billy’s got a new family fitting him for a cool new suit and making sure he gets into a good school and he’s not entirely sure how this is gonna go down with the League but that night Barry gets a three hour long lecture about letting a kid fight monsters which he can’t get out of because he’s frozen to a wall.

#flash rogues #the rogues #coldflash #leonard snart #mick rory #owen mercer #Billy batson #wally west #flashfam #sort of

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chelseeebe · 2 years

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falling. | part 3. to maneater.

summary: steve harrington was the first boy you’d opened up to. so why can’t you stop fucking it up?

c/w: billy is in this and there’s mentions of sexual assault and non-consensual touching so read with caution!

it’s finally done!!!!! i don’t even think i like this but it’s here!!! tumblr deleted a whole chunk of writing so had to redo some parts n ik they aren’t as good as the original <\3 also falling - harry styles especially the first verse rlly got me going for this one.

read part one here. | read part two here.

there had been absolutely no contact with steve. he couldn’t even look at you.

now being shunned from sitting on the table your two groups had taken over, jessica very kindly tells you, ‘it’s probably better if you don’t come, y’know.. just until steve cools down.’

‘right.. guess i’ll see you later then,’ you slink out of the cafeteria, choosing to retreat to your car instead, away from everyone.

to be honest, you weren’t keen on sitting opposite steve anyway. the way his eyes looked at you, all sad and disappointed.

on the friday, you’re sat in your car, willing the next two hours of school to hurry up when your passenger door swings open and a large body collapses into the seat.

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

‘you looked lonely, thought i’d give you some company,’ billy states, throwing his legs on the dashboard.

you shoo his feet off, ‘i was fine on my own, actually.’

‘darling, i’ve seen you sat here every day this week, your boyfriend still mad at you?’ he smirks over at you.

‘he’s not my boyfriend, never has been, but yeah, no thanks to you,’ you hiss, though you can’t solely blame him.

‘you really were wasted, huh? don’t remember what happened after?’ he lights a cigarette, rolling down the window.

‘well no, but i’ve been told.. steve couldn’t wait to throw it in my face, trust me,’ you state, looking over at the curly haired boy.

‘why do you give a shit what he thinks? never had you down as someone that cared what little pretty boys like harrington think of you,’ he takes a drag.

billy was attractive, not in a steve harrington kinda way, more rugged and much less clean-cut.

you reach over and grab the cigarette from him, taking a long drag before handing it back.

‘i don’t,’ you lie, ‘could not care less.’

‘that’s why you’re hiding in your car is it, sweetheart?’ he chuckles, eyes narrowing at you.

‘just fuck off, billy,’ you roll your eyes, unprepared for his home-truths.

he laughs, ‘n leave you all alone? you sure you want that?'

even though it was billy, you had appreciated not being alone at lunch. your friend's hadn't exactly shunned you, but had decided that during lunch they'd rather preserve the peace with their new-found friendship with steve and his group.

'you can stay, as long as you shut up and don't mention steve again,' you fold your arms over your chest, twisting your body to look at him.

'i'm not making any promises,' he flicks the butt of the cigarrette out of the window, turning back to face you.

'there's a party tomorrow, i'll pick you up at eight,' he winks.

in all honesty a party was a welcome distraction to everything at the moment, though billy would not be your usual choice of friend but at this point you weren't left with much choice.

then there's a twinge of guilt in your stomach, thinking of steve and how a party and billy had actually been the sole reason steve now wasn’t speaking to you.

he was the first guy you’d let get that close since moving to hawkins a few years back. an inexplicable feeling bubbles in your stomach as you think back to your date. how you had felt so comfortable with him, telling him things not even your friends had gotten out of you.

and suddenly that awful impulsive urge rises from your stomach. the one that only showed itself when things were becoming too serious with someone.

so fuck it.

you spent the whole of the lunch break with billy, in your car. you hadn't ever pictured your friday to go this way, but you were just happy that someone was actually speaking to you.

you'd neglected to notice steve, who had finished basketball practice, standing just a few metres from your car, glaring at the pair of you sat talking in your car. a frown planted firmly on his face, utter disbelief at how you could even be sat with him after that damned party.

tommy notices steve staring, searching for the cause of his scowl, landing on your car. he swings his arm over his friends shoulder in sympathy.

'bro.. c'mon, let's just go,' he tugs steve away and back into the school.

billy is late, obviously.

he wasn’t like steve, ready and waiting for you before you’d even finished getting ready.

you turn your wrist to look at your watch.

8:11pm

you were about to head back inside when you hear the loud car engine pull onto your street, wheels screeching to a halt.

billy grins at you from the window, you roll your eyes and get into the car.

‘you’re late, lucky i was nice enough to wait,’ you pull your skirt down, as it had ridden up past your thighs. not unnoticed by billy.

‘sorry darlin’, looking good though,’ he eyes up your thighs.

‘just drive, i need a fucking drink,’ you stare, flipping him the middle finger.

he chuckles, speeding off down the street.

you’d told yourself that there was absolutely no way you were getting as wasted as last time. but here you were, head spinning as you stumble up to the stairs and into the bathroom.

billy follows closely behind, pushing his way into the bathroom, ‘not tapping out, are ya doll face?’

‘no, i’m fine.. just need a minute,’ you lean your hands on the counter, looking at your blurry reflection in the mirror.

billy presses himself against your back, hands finding your waist as you watch him grin in the mirror.

you spin your body round to face him, placing a hand on his chest to push him back, ‘i’m not fucking you billy,’ shaking your head.

‘oh c’mon, i’ve been waiting all night for this darlin’,’ his fingers begin to slide up your thigh, disappearing under your skirt.

‘no billy, i’m not doing that,’ you place your hand on his wrist, trying to move his hand.

his expression hardens as he leans his face closer to yours, his fingers now gripping your jaw, ‘you’re joking.. everyone knows what a little slut you are, what’s the problem? don’t tell me it’s harrington.’

his fingers tear a hole in your tights, latching onto the hem of your underwear and you freeze.

your eyes squeeze shut, ‘i just don’t want to have sex with you.. get off of me,’ your voice shakes.

he runs his thumb over your bottom lip before letting go, backing away from the counter, ‘whatever, you’re a little cock-tease,’ he walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door so hard the walls shake.

you sigh, wiping away the tears that had slipped out and rolled down your cheek.

you’d yet again made a gigantic mess of everything.

now left stranded at some random party, god knows where.

so, you do the sensible thing and walk down the stairs and out of the house, stumbling down the street as you pass the party goers.

you walk and walk, until you end up on the familiar street.

you don’t really know what you’re doing until you’re at the door, boots in hand as your knuckles wrap against the wood.

there were now holes in your tights, black mascara smudged down your cheeks and the red lipstick you’d chosen now anywhere but your lips.

you glance at the time on your watch

3:32am.

it had taken you an hour to even get here.

the door swings open and a shirtless steve stands in the doorway, hair sticking up every which way.

‘y/n? why are y- what happened?’ his tone becoming concerned as he notices your disheveled appearance and the leather boots in your hand.

you shrug, swallowing the lump in your throat, ‘i didn’t know where else to go..’ the lump rises as a cry escapes your mouth.

his arms are around your body, pulling you into his chest, before you can say another word.

you cry as he pulls you into the house, running his hand down your back. you can only cling onto him, only crying harder because you didn’t deserve this kindness from him.

‘hey.. what happened?’ he questions, pulling away to make you look up at him.

‘i was.. at a party and- and billy..’ you’re interrupted with a sob, unable to finish the sentence.

his eyes go from soft to filled with anger at the mention of his name.

‘what? what did he do?’ he spits, with the state of you it couldn’t have been good.

‘he just- he tried to touch me and.. and i said no and-,’ you’re interrupted by a sob, unable to even tell steve.

you can feel his body stiffen, ‘he didn’t… did he?’

shaking your head, you swallow attempting to conceal your cries, ‘no.. he just.. touched me.. it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have even gone..’

‘no, no it’s not at all.. c’mon let’s get you cleaned up,’ he pulls his body from yours, now taking your hand and walking you up his stairs.

the second time he’d come to your drunken rescue. you felt awful for relying on him so much.

but truthfully, steve would rather know that you’re safe with him than out there. no matter what had happened between you.

he gently wipes the remains of your makeup off with his moms face wipes, offering you the spare toothbrush and even turning around as you change into yet another one of his t-shirts, this time foregoing the sweatpants.

‘got my own collection going on,’ you laugh weakly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

he exhales, ‘s’pose you do.. they look better on you anyway,’ he stands in the doorway, ready to go to the guest bedroom.

‘can you.. stay in here.. only if you want to,’ you whisper, pulling back the duvet for him.

he walks over to the bed, ‘of course i want to.. whether i should is another story,’ he climbs into the bed, laying back.

‘you should,’ you lean your head back onto the pillow, staring at the cream coloured ceiling.

steve flicks the lamp off, turning on his side to go to sleep.

you’re sure he’s asleep before you let out the first silent cry, hand held over your mouth.

your shoulders shake as you sniffle, slightly louder than intended.

and then you feel steve’s arm snake around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

‘i’m sorry.. i thought you were asleep..’ you mumble.

‘no.. can’t sleep,’ he grumbles in response, still holding onto your waist.

you turn your body to face his, looking up at his shadowy face, admiring the way the moon cascaded over his features. you can just about make out his eyes staring back into yours.

‘me too..’

the eye contact is heavy, and you’re half tempted to reach up and kiss him.

steve clearly has the same thought, his lips colliding with yours with his free hand now cupping your face.

but this kiss is different, there’s no lust, no desire behind it. not like before. this kiss was soft, full of warmth and emotion.

he pulls back, searching for your eyes in the darkness, ‘c’mon you need to sleep.’

you nod slightly, resting your head on his chest and exhaling deeply.

his fingers trace patterns into your shoulder, chin resting on the top of your head.

eventually your breathing becomes heavy on his chest as you drift off to sleep.

his fingers slide through your hair with his other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, holding you close to his body.

he whispers into your hair, ‘you’re killing me here..’

eventually falling asleep, nuzzled into your hair.

it's noon before you wake up, steve's arm around your waist as he snores lightly.

he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, the usual furrow of his brow replaced with an undisturbed, stillness to his face.

you smile at the image, not wanting to wake him but desperately needing the bathroom.

you manoeuvre your body out of his grasp and tiptoe to the bathroom.

when you come back to the room steve is awake, sat up against his headboard.

‘i thought.. i thought you’d snuck off again,’ he exhales, running his hand through his hair.

you shake your head, ‘not this time,’ sitting at the end of the bed.

‘what happened last night?’ he asks, not wanting to press too much.

you sigh, looking down at your hands, ‘he.. he touched me.. i said no but he.. just-,’ you stop yourself.

steve reaches over, placing his hand over yours for reassurance.

‘he grabbed me.. called me a slut and a tease- i don’t wanna talk about it..’

‘you should go to the police, obviously if you want to.. but he shouldn’t get away with that,’ he squeezes you hand, his tone now full of disgust.

‘no, i’m not.. it’s fine- i’m fine,’ you look up at him, eyes glossy with tears.

‘you do-,’ he sighs, exasperated, ‘okay, it’s your choice.. but i’m just telling you now that i am going to kill him.’

you chuckle through the tears, ‘you couldn’t kill a fly.’

‘hey! i could and i have,’ he feigns offence.

you groan, using steve’s blanket to wipe away your tears.

‘are you okay?’ he questions quietly.

you nod, ‘i’m fine.. are you okay?’

‘why would i not be?’

‘because.. of me,’ you shrug, ‘what i did..’

he squeezes your hand, ‘it doesn’t matter.. you were right, you aren’t my girlfriend.. i can’t expect you to act like it,’ he sighs; slightly frowning.

his eyes are sad, gazing down at you.

‘it was still shitty.. i’m really sorry steve.. i’m trying to be a different person, better, but it’s hard..’

he exhales, ‘look.. we don’t need to speak about this now..’

you nod, appreciating his kindness. even if you were totally undeserving.

‘c’mon, i’ll take you home,’ he runs his thumb over your hand before standing from the bed.

you’re stood at his door when he picks up the skirt you’d worn last night. it had been a favourite but now you couldn’t even stand to look at it.

‘burn it,’ you say, disgusted at the sight of the skirt.

it goes unnoticed when steve grits his teeth, seething at how billy’s actions had made you feel so little. a shell of the you he knew.

you hesitate going into the cafeteria. there was still an air of uncertainty around you and steve despite you turning up on his doorstep sunday morning.

you notice the group of students now stood at the window, jeering and gasping at some commotion outside.

before you can decide whether to join them, jessica sprints up to you, 'you need to come, now,' pulling your arm towards the door to the forecourt.

'what? what's going on?' you query, stumbling as she drags you along.

'it's steve..,' she pants, breathless as she'd had to sprint to find you.

your eyes immediately land on the group of high-schoolers, crowded around the bustle you'd noticed from the window.

pushing through the crowd you spot steve squared up to billy, his hand shoving his backwards, billy tumbling back.

'fucking creep,' steve spits, stepping up once again.

'what's the problem? did i touch your little girlfriend? that little slut wanted it,' billy bites back, returning the shove to steve only a little harder.

you bite the inside of your cheek, guilty that you were the reason for the fight. his words sting, memories of the spiteful words he had spat at you in the bathroom flooding back.

steve lunges for the boy, landing a particularly hard punch to his cheek sending billy backwards towards the crowd.

billy clutches his cheek, a smile on his lips at the utter disbelief of steve's actions.

the denim clad boy tackles steve to the ground, pulling his arm back to sock him in the face, repeatedly, each hit harder than the last.

you gasp, elbowing the boys in front of you out of the way and stepping up towards billy, you grab onto his jacket in an attempt to stop him.

'fucking stop it!' you screech, pulling his arm back and away from steve.

billy pushes you backwards, falling to the floor as the crowd let out a collective 'ooh'.

fortunately for steve, ms. kelly gets into the middle of the circle as one of the gym teachers restrains billy.

you rush over to steve, his face now bruised and bloody. you cradle his head in your arms, trying to clean off some of the blood to assess how badly he was hurt.

he looks up at you, eyes squinting at the bright light, 'i'm sorry.. he deserved it though.'

you shake your head, though you can't hide the smile on your face, ‘we could've slashed his tyres or something, now look at you.'

eventually, you alongside one of his teammates take him inside, his arm resting on your shoulder.

you press the ice pack to his face, shuffling in the uncomfortable office chairs while you wait for the principle to finish speaking to billy.

'i think you're a fucking idiot for doing that.. but i wanted to thank you.. for defending me n' that..'

he turns to face you, 'oh that? wasn't for you.. i just really really wanted to get beat up,' he winces at his split lip as he smiles.

'it was kinda hot.. y'know the ten seconds before he beat the shit out of you,' you giggle. it was true, angry steve was hot, just not when he was angry at you.

your head jolts to the open door, as billy saunters out. steve had got a pretty good hit in, with billy's cheek now adorned with a new blue bruise.

he glares at the two of you, his lip snarling as if to say something but he restrains himself.

‘mr. harrington,’ mr. davis calls, gesturing towards his office.

you both stand at the same time, ‘you can stay here miss. (y/l/n),’ the principle nods.

‘no, i’m coming,’ you walk into the office and take a seat before steve.

mr. davis is shocked at your gumption, beginning his spiel about fighting and how it’s unacceptable in the school environment.

‘so unfortunately, i’ve got no choice but to suspend you-,’

‘no,’ you cut him off, ‘that’s not fair, it’s my fault he was even fighting, so you can either suspend both of us or neither of us,’ you cross your arms, staring at your principal.

‘well.. now we can’t do that.. school policy states that we need to punish anyone fighting,’ david states, leaning forward on his desk.

‘so suspend me too.’

steve gawps at you, mouth open at your brave actions, utterly speechless.

‘i don’t think that would be wise miss (y/l/n), it’s a one week suspension,’ he attempts to persuade you to concede.

you shrug, ‘i don’t care.’

‘okay.. well.. then you’re both suspended, i’ll be in contact with both of your parents.. i expect you back, not fighting, next monday,’ your principal sighs.

you stand up and exit the room, stone-faced as you barrel out of the school.

steve jogs to catch up with you, ‘wait.. wait, why the fuck did you do that?’ his fingers curl around your wrist.

‘because it’s my fault you were even fighting.. only fair that i take some of the blame,’ you turn to him only inches away from his swollen face.

a laugh erupts from his throat at the sheer absurdity of it all. it’s contagious as you burst out laughing with him.

‘we look crazy..’ you mutter, noticing the stares from nosy students out of the classroom windows.

‘you are crazy,’ he says, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

‘i’m not the one throwing punches at someone twice my size,’ you state, grinning at him.

he scoffs, ‘twice? i don’t think so.’

you shake your head, ‘let’s get out of this shit hole, you’ve just bagged me a week off.. i’m not wasting that.’

you walk over to your car, looking back at steve stood gawping at you.

‘i.. i drove so i’ll uh- see ya,’ he begins to walk to his car, fumbling in his pockets for his keys.

‘are you sure you’re alright to drive? your eye’s pretty fucked..’ you were just desperate to not let him walk away once again.

‘yeah.. this is not my first time being beaten up, believe it or not,’ he half jokes, wobbling over to his car.

‘well.. uh, do you wanna do something later? i think i owe you for defending my honour,’ you call after him.

he turns to look at you, ‘okay, dinner is definitely on you though.’

‘i’ll even come and pick you up.. six, so you better be ready,’ you open the car door, sliding into the seat.

you both drive home grinning at your nondate-date.

you’d never been so nervous, stomach doing flips at the thought of seeing him.

you pull up on his drive, giving your outfit a once over before sounding the horn. you’d opted for more casual wear, a difference to the usual short skirts and revealing tops steve normally saw you in.

he appears at the door before limping over to your car. he groans as he attempts to sit in the car, his bruises now visible on his face.

‘are you sure you’re okay to go out?’ you question, wincing at his cut hands.

‘yeah.. i’m fine.. just a bit sore,’ he mumbles.

‘mm, you look it, c‘mon.. we can just order pizza and watch a movie, it’s okay,’ you hop out and walk around the passenger side, helping him out of your car.

he wraps his arm around your waist, supporting himself with your body, ‘you could’ve said this before i dragged myself all the way over here,’ he jokes.

‘steve, i’ll fucking drop you.’

you help him into the house, placing him down on the sofa before looking around at the large house.

you’d never really seen it through sober eyes, suddenly noticing the childhood photos dotted around.

‘are your parents not home?’ you question, the quiet echoed around the house.

‘nah.. they never are,’ he shrugs, there’s a certain sadness to his voice as he settles into the cushions.

‘oh.. at least they don’t know that you’re suspended i guess..’ you try to spin it positively but you can tell just how hurt he is.

‘yeah.. i guess..’

you sit down on the couch next to him, grabbing the phone from the table and passing it to him.

‘c’mon.. it’s my treat so get whatever you want,’ you cross your legs up onto the couch, watching him on the phone. completely enamoured with his every little move.

there’s some action film on the tv, not your first choice obviously.

your knees are tucked into your chest as steve leans against you, head on your shoulder. you honestly weren’t even sure he was still awake.

‘i’m really sorry, steve,’ it comes out in barely a whisper.

you hear him sigh, ‘i know.. it’s okay,’ he lifts his head off of your shoulder, now looking at you.

‘no, steve.. it’s not okay.. i hurt you and that’s not okay..’ you can’t bare to look at him, into his sad, doe eyes, instead playing with the hem on your jeans.

‘it is.. im telling you that it is.. you aren’t my girlfriend and..’ he exhales, ‘it’s okay that you don’t want to be.. i shouldn’t have just expected it from you..’

you’re still picking at the loose thread on your jeans, ‘but i do.. i do want that.. i just- there’s something wrong with me and i just can’t help it, i fuck everything up.. i hurt people..’ you shake your head, quickly wiping away the tear that had slipped out.

being so vulnerable with him made you sick to your stomach. the first person in a long time to tap into this part of you, the side you had buried deep down.

he swallows before putting his hand on your knee, ‘you haven’t.. fucked anything up, i’m still here aren’t i?

you’re brave enough to slowly look up at him through sodden eyelashes, blinking at his words.

‘you know.. i’ve been begging to hear you say that for so long..’ he breathes, inching closer to your face.

‘i don’t wanna hurt you..’ you murmur, his hand cupping your cheek as he wipes your damp cheek.

he leans forward, placing his lips on your yours. the kiss is similar to the one you’d shared in his bed on sunday morning, soft with no ulterior motives. affectionate and gentle, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours as his thumb still tracing your cheek, ‘then don’t.’

you nod, placing your hand on top of his before kissing his lips again. carefully placing your other hand on his bruised cheek, sure to be gentle with him.

‘does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ he mumbles into the kiss.

you laugh against his lips, ‘if you want me to be..’

he pulls back to look at you, ‘i want nothing more,’ the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

‘then i’m yours.’

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #stranger things x reader

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eclecticqueennerd · 11 months

Text

Confessions

Part 3

*language, mentions of r*pe, kidnapping, mild gaslighting, brief mentions of smeggs, angst*

Butcher POV

You lot didn’t deserve how he’s been treating you lately, pushing you to the brink of exhaustion and then pushing some more. His need for revenge for Lenny caused Kimiko to almost die. No, that was her fault. She shouldn’t have jumped in front of Soldier Boy. Sure, Frenchie could have been killed but still, Kimiko will get better, she always does. At least y/n wasn’t hurt.

Oh y/n. He could list all the reasons as to why he fell hard and fast for you but there’s not enough hours in the day. Where he barked orders to the crew, you were there to keep their spirits up. When he fell victim to his thoughts of self-loathing, you were there to talk him off the ledge. You showed the boys loyalty when you finally got your revenge on the supe that killed your husband after finding out how high the Vought shit ladder went. You were support, humility, loyalty, kindness, knowledge, and compassion. Everything that Butcher wasn’t.

But then you had to go and become the very thing he despised. A fucking supe. In the back of his mind, he knew y/n was forced into becoming enhanced and that he shouldn’t have stormed out, especially after finding out how Homelander violated you. But even in the best of times, Butcher can’t control his anger. Despite how many times you’d tell him he’s not, he’s exactly who his father says he is.

*flashback*

When you were kidnapped by Homelander, Butcher went into beast mode. Anyone who had the smallest bit of information on where you were located was met with brutality that even made the boys nervous to be around him. When Grace told him that you were found and safe with her, he damn near dropped everything to drive as fast as he could to meet you. He had to see that you were alright. He needed to hold you and by doing so, would calm the waves of fury, sadness, and relief that was pulsing through his veins. He had to tell you that he loved you.

Grace refused to tell him your exact location, per your request. You should have just spit in his face, it would have the same effect. When the two of you were reunited, all the ill feelings dissipated as he finally got to embrace you. She’s fine, she’s here, my y/n.

“Where ya been dove, what took you so long?”

“Sorry, I wanted to stay longer to train.”

“You let some other cunt train ya? I coulda done it.”

The calm went as quickly as it came once new information came to light on how to take Vought down. Butcher never got the chance to confess his feelings.

While on missions together, Butcher wanted to but never breached the topic of what happened while you were kidnapped. He wanted you to trust him and tell him in your own time, as he did with you about Lenny. He was attentive to whatever needs you had; you did not want for nothing. As time progressed, he noticed subtle differences. You were quick to catch things falling off the kitchen table, you were finally able to open that jar of pickles you always asked Butcher to open, he purposely tightened it each time to make sure you’d come to him for help. One night you cut yourself with a paring knife while mincing garlic and the next morning,

“Hey, how’s the finger?”

“What about it?”

“Ya cut it last night making dinner.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did, I patched you up.”

“I think you dreamed that, Billy. See?” Butcher looks at your finger, “My finger is fine.”

“Huh, guess I did dream it.”

“Looks like we’ve been hanging out too much, you’re starting to dream about me dicing my fingers off.” Y/n was also increasingly jumpy around him even though he was as gentle as possible around her.

In hindsight, this should have been a red flag, but he's always been blinded when it comes to you. Now, piecing it all together it makes sense after you told him you were a supe.

“Hello, Earth to Butcher.” Maeve snapped her fingers. He came back to the task at hand, the Temp- V. Frenchie and Kimiko were at the hospital, MM quit the mission and went back to his apartment and tasked Hughie and y/n with finding Soldier Boy after he blew up a small building in New York.

“Did you even hear a word I said, Butcher?” Maeve asked. He shrugged,

“No.” Maeve scoffed.

“You should apologize to her.”

“To who?”

“Y/n.”

“You’ve got no business talking to me about y/n. How bout you just give me the Temp-V and fuck off?”

“Come one I know the two of you are fighting right now. She’s your friend and if you just tell her-“

“Who the fuck is telling you all this, eh?”

“Starlight.”

“Well, that cunt doesn’t know everything. I’ve got nothing to apologize for. I’ve done nothing wrong.” That’s fucking lie. Maeve threw the packet of vials on the couch.

“Fine, don’t take my advice. What do I know?” Just before Maeve left, Butcher stood up and offered her a drink of vodka.

“I’m 4 months sober you asshole.”

“Oh... Starlight never told me.”

“Like you said that bitch doesn’t know everything.” Maeve looks at the bottle and back to Butcher, she grabs the class and plops herself onto the couch. As the evening sky turned black, Butcher and Maeve busied themselves fucking on MM’s desk in the corner of the hideout.

“You know what Butcher? You’re a real piece of shit.”

Yeah, yeah, he was.

#mothers milk #the boys #the boys amazon #kimiko the boys #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #frenchie #karl urban #billy butcher #billy butcher x reader #queen maeve #reader insert #female reader #angst #Spotify

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no-see-um-incorrect · 10 months

Text

Music head cannons for the Yuurivoice boys (i’ll be doing redacted next) the characters are gonna be getting playlist soon, so think of this as a prediction

Auron

This man has CORPSE on his playlist somewhere. If you’re talking about what the characters do outside of the audios together, my suspicion is that Alphonse probably showed him. Given his whole aesthetic, E-girls are ruining my life. Is probably the song he likes the most.

CODE MISTAKA. Is probably a close second.

My guess is he listens to a lot of like loud, hard rock music. He also probably has the whole reputation album by Taylor Swift on full blast while he’s cleaning his penthouse. Whenever I think of Auron I think of monster by skillet as his theme song

Seth

We already know he listens to Noah Kahan

But I raise you this

Ed Sheeran. Specifically the songs.

The A Team & I don’t care

He has two playlists on Spotify there’s one that’s just his normal playlist, and then a playlist titled

🚬Mama💋

(probably not with emojis but you get the idea)

Charlie

My pizza rat Boi~

No, I do not know why….but I have this thought in my head of Charlie going through the neighborhood on his skateboard delivering pizzas singing ”milkshake by kelis” I don’t know why, but once I thought about it, it hasn’t left my head.

Just a lot of ass shake songs you know so he can shake what he doesn’t have(I said what I said)

Milkshake by kelis

Toxic by Britney Spears

Bottoms up by trey Songz

like his playlist is a roller coaster of 90s and early 2000s ass shake songs and songs that would make you cry for two hours

Casper listens to his playlist for like 20 minutes and comes out like “Charlie, sweetheart love of my life……WHAT THE FUCK”

Alphonse

This man’s hot shit And his music reflects that.

Candy shop by 50 Cent (that one’s obvious)

Stupid by Ashnikko

Girls/Girls/Boys by panic at the disco

This is hot people music and Alphonse KNOWS he’s a hot person

Of course, any character with dead parents comes fully equipped with the using Music instead of therapy add on so amongst the hot people songs we’ve got

supermarket flowers by Ed Sheeran

Dog days are over by Florence + the machine

Makes Me Sick by Addison Grace

His “sad boy hours” playlist borderline concerns, boo and will make Seth cry if he listens to it.

Finn

I had to keep it together while thinking about the music of Finn. On one hand, I think it would be a lot of Positivity and loving yourself, music on the other hand….. this man was in emotionally, abusive relationship,

Strawberry Blond by Mitski

(this next one is a maybe)

Diet Culture by Brye

Soldier poet King by the oh hellos

But then we get into Sadboy territory but also borderline Yan-Finn

He loves me (he loves me not) by Baby Bugs

TV by Billie Eilish

Mr. potato head by Melanie Martinez

(maybe) agoraphobic by CORPSE

A few other Melanie Martinez songs

Lucian

Buckle up

Family line by Conan Gray

In my room by ICP

FACK by Eminem (hear me out)

Take me to Church by Hozier

Mary on a Cross by Ghost

He’s a demon, dirty minded, and the youngest son of the devil himself

The weirdest playlist of all time, and I am

here for it

That is all for now. Have a great night everybody

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice auron #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice charlie #yuurivoice lucien #yuurivoice finn #headcannons #incorrect quotes #writing #asmr video

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thewritersaddictions · 1 year

Text

First Kiss: Billy Hargrove- PassionFire

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Pov: Reader

Warnings: Talk of virginity, implied smut, 18+, First Kiss, talk of mean/abusive ex-boyfriend, helpful friend, sweet Billy, fluff, smoking. drinking, soft!Billy.

Summary: You’re hurt by your now ex-boyfriend when he breaks up with you for not giving up your virginity; Billy is more then willing to help

A/n- Fireflygraphics for dividers

WC- 2.5

Stranger Things Master List // The Adults Master List // Series Master List // First Kiss Master List

The tears hadn’t stopped, for hours I had been crying my eyes out. I knew why Jamie had broken up with me but I couldn’t really imagine why it was hitting me so hard. He and I had the talk about the fact that I wasn’t really comfortable with giving up my virginity, or truly anything that stripped my virginity away from me. Espically not when he was drunken mess from the lunch date earlier.

Had I walked all the way to Billy’s house? Yes, I had walked all the way toward Billys. I hadn’t meant to just walk out of my house. Well maybe I had, my mind was clouded and I wasn’t able to think about anything other than needing someone, a shoulder to cry on.

I had only ever been to Billy’s once or twice. Nothing more then to tutor him, a one off exchange between the both of us. I was tutor him once a month and he would help me with othe basic things. If I thought about it he was the one that introduced me to Jamie. I knocked on the front door only once, before i rang the doorbell. I could hear the rock music playing in the house at volumes I doubt his father or stepmother would allow. “What the hell do you…” The door had opened Billy was standing there. In nothing but an old beat up white tank top, and his signature jeans.

“Y/n?” He questioend, he was aware of the tears I had running down my cheeks. Or tears that had stained my cheeks. “Billy I know that I’m here unannouced. I just didn’t know where else to go and Jamie he… well Jamie broke up with me.” I said in a ramble of mixed words. He kept his eyes on me for only a moment before the anger swept through his facial expressions. I had a quick moment of doubt, a moment of realizing my mistakes of trekking down to his house on Cherry Lane. “Billy… I’m sorry I think it will be better if I just leave.” I said hastily. Before I could turn to walk away he was grabbing my arm pulling into the warmth of the house.

“Did you walk all the way here?” he asked his voice a little horse from what I would only guess he was trying to push down the anger. I only shook my head and then he was slamming his bedroom shut. His room smelt of cologne and smokes. Something that always had my head in a twist. “Why would you not just call me? You know I would come and get you?” He asked, to many questions and my own thoughts were cloding my already foggy brain. The bed was softer then I imagined it would be and it bounced as I moved on it.

“Hello Mcfly? Are you there?” Billy asked waving his hand over my face. “Yeah I’m here. I just I’m sorry I need a second?” The words tumbled out of my mouth and the urge to cry was boiling over in the back of my throat. “Goddamn it Y/n.” Billy said throwing a punch into the air. “I’m sorry. Okay I’m sorry.” The tears had started to run again, I’m sure why or why I had even walked my sad ass all the way towards Billy’s.

Billy hadn’t yet looked over at me up until that moment. “Fuck I’m sorry Y/n. I just don’t know how to deal with you know.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Of course the crying I forgot.” I said. I looked over at Billy for the first time. Looking at the sharpness of his jawline as he sat down beside me. I brushed the tears from under my eyes, and breathed hard.

We sat in a cold and harass silence for a little to long. The room growing smaller as it more and more uncomfortable. I wondered where his parents where, and where was his witty red headed stepsister. I was dragged out of my thoughts when I heard Billy ask me a question. “So, if you don’t mind telling me what happened?” He asked, as he got up from the spot next to me and grabbed his smokes.

Billy wasn’t always the most emotionally supportive friend or really a good friend at all. I had seen the small arguments that his father and Billy would get into. Things would be thrown, voices would get louder then normal, and punches would go flying normally hitting Billy in the chest, stomach or square in his perfect face.

Did I mind telling Billy what had managed to happen. To have me to end up at his door on a random night. No, I honestly didn’t mind that’s why I had walked all the way here, to talk to someone about it. To let it go into the air and away from my over thinking mind, that was currently mualing it over. “I don’t mind Billy. Just promise you won’t go crazy on me?” I asked. I licked my chap lips, and looked over at him. He was ever so sightly taller then me. No matter if we were standing or sitting down.

He sighed heavily, like my requests was a rather hard on to swallow down. “Yeah I promise.” He said exhaling a puff of smoke. So my story from earlier in the day began. “So I guess I should start earlier in the day right.” I said looking down at my hands. My fingers dancing between the fabric of my shirt and messing with my short nails. All I heard was a small hum for me to continue with my story.

“Jamie and I had just gotten back from a lunch with his friends. You know the ones from the basketball team?” I asked, but continued on. “So we had gone and everything was okay. Jamie had picked me and was all gentlemen like. I don’t know how they managed it though, somehow where ever we went with Jamies friends they were able to get some sort of alcoholic drinks. I wasn’t sure of what kind, but I’m not a drinker. I never have been, so instead I watched as the boys and their girlfriends who were to prim and proper to know just how disgusting day drinking was. Drink and drink til their hearts were content.” I said, taking a slow breath, looking at Billy he was still interested in the story.

“But a subject was brought up during lunch today. A topic that you don’t normally talk about in fucking public or with other people who aren;t in your relationship. Jamie had been asked how good of a fuck I was, and if I knew what I was doing.” I said, my words getting caught in the back of my throat. To be honest as I talked about it outloud the words seemed dirtier, and heavier then before.

I shook my head and continued on with my my heart breaking story. “He laughed about it, telling everyone that I was prude, and didn’t ever really staisfed him at all.” I chortled, not that it was funny or a joke at all. Just sounded funnier now that I had time to think about his words and just how stupid of a guy he truly is. “Are you sure this is Jamie that you’re talking about? The same Jamie I know?” Billy asked me raised eyebrows in wonder.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, and please just let me finish and then I’ll get out of your hair.” I said with a huff before returning to my story. It wasn’t like there was much, beside the argument we had in the drive back to my house, and the argument we had before he broke up with me. There wasn’t much more to tell.

“For the rest of that god for saken lunc hI sat in the uncomfortable silence of his friends girlfriends speaking about me like I wasn’t there and him and his friends laughing about the fact I was still a virgin. I hadn’t even kissed him yet.” I said. “We left not shortly after, and the car ride was horrible. I wasn’t able to hold it in any longer the anger boiling and finally tipping over the edge. I yelled at him as he drove me back to my house. He called me a prude once again and then a bitch for not just giving him what he wanted.” I said my fingers twitching within my lap. Looking down at the carpeted floor. The stains from whatever Billy brought into his room had seeped into the flooring.

And for the first time in the entire day I smiled. “The fighting didn’t stop, not even when he followed after me half drunk into my house. I tired to push him away but he wasn’y having any of that. So, he grabbed me tightly around the wrist.” I pushed my sleeve up showing the growing bruise that was caused because of his grasps. “I did try and get away Billy. I screamed at him to let me go and pushed him away, until his cold and dark eyes looked back at me and told me that he never not once in out entire relationshoped loved me, and that I was better off alone. The lost and little lamb that I was, was better off alone because nobody would want such a prude like me.”

It was silent for a moment before I started to speak again. “You know the rest Billy.” I said with a shurg of my shoulders. I was tired the crying, and screaming taking a lot of me. I sat there still, before I felt Billy’s rough hand touch over both of mine. “I knew I shouldn’t have shared you with my friends.” I heard Billy whisper out, his thumb rubbing a soothing circle into my skin. The touch was intimate for many a reason. But the most obvious one was the simple fact that Billy wasn’t one for touch, or any true sign of emotion.

“Shared me?” I questioned. Shared me what the hell did that even mean? There was no pretending that the crush I had on Billy was ever going to go away. The crush had grown and been growing even through I was dating Jamie. “All of those damn guys are just pricks. Not to mention their dumb, dull girlfriends.” Billy said, his hand still resting into my mine. Thumb still rubbing soothing circles into my hand.

“Yeah I get that, but what do you mean share me?l I was intrigued more about what the implications of his words meant, not by how his words made me wanna melt into his sheet. “Just be honest with me Billy. I’m a big girl and I can handle it.” I just for once tonight wanted the truth.whether it was cold and harsh or made me feel giddy. I don’t know what was happening all around me. This felt like a hazy dream that I had dreamt a million times over. He deeply stared at me, a few whispys of his golden hair falling infront of his forehead. They were distracting me from another part of his handsome face. Those sky blue eyes that somehow pierce right into your heart.

A heavy sigh left him before he composed himself. “I just mean that… you’re were my friend first ya know. I shouldn’t have let you out for the wolves.” Billy said. He looked like he was trying to hold something back, and the grip he had on my hand was getting stronger. “Billy? Please.” Was all I had left to say. The truth, please just the fucking truth that’s all I had been searching for all day long.

“Fine, you want the truth don’t you. You can’t just leave it at the front door can you? Fuck,” Billy said voice growing deeper by the second. His eyes casted down to my bruised wrist. “I should have just kept you for myself. Treated you better than some asshole who clearly doesn’t doesn’t know who they have in their arms.” It was like pulling teeth with Billy to just get him to talk about the simplest emotions.

I wanted to laugh, but that felt wrong. This must be a true joke right. Billy would never, never fall for the innocent, shy girl that was only his friend because he got something out of it. Right? “Now you’re tight lipped.” Billy commented as I had gone silent. I went to say something but things wer eswirling around in my head. “That’s okay. I get it, big bad Billy can’t help but like the girl that’s to cute for her own good. Who lets people walk all over hee. I should have protected you from an asshole like Jamie, but I thought that you would never. I mean never take a liking to me. I was a dick to… well to everyone. Maybe you alrady knew that, but then you still end up here at my doorstep. So, that must mean something right?” Billy rambled on.

I was in shock for to many reasons at this point. Was he was rambling because he was letting his guard down, the millions of walls that he had built. He was still talking, but I wasn’t paying attention to the endless flow of words that were falling out. I was paying attention to how his tongue jutted out and licked over his lips. A shiny glaze making them glisten in the little light that he had. I didn’t know what was happening, not even after I started moving towards him.

His hand was still on mine, so I leant in. “Billy.” I whispered. “Will you stop talking and just make up for the lost time.” I begged in barely a whisper. That signature smirk crossed over his rambling expressions. He reached me. A hand coming to cup the back of my neck as he leant down and pressed his lips against mine.

The kind of kiss made me feel like the time around us had stopped. It wasn’t a kiss that I would ever be able to explain to my friends. It was like stars had aligned, and everything for just that one moment was perfect. Billy had taken my first kiss, and when we broke away from each other. That signature smirk hadn’t left his face, he was very cheeky. “How was that for a first kiss huh?” He asked. I rolled my eyes, “How about you ask me later. Like I said you have to make up for a lot of lost time.”

I winked at him, before going in for another deep and lustful kiss. This was going wherever it was supposed, without any further pushing on either of our parts. He pushed me down onto the mattress. His free hand roamed down my chest and found a spot on the side of my ribcage. Billy’s other hand stayed on my cheek, holding me closer than before.

Completed on: 02/05/23

Posted on: 02/06/23

The Adults- @yourfavdummy

#billy hargrove one shot #billy harringrove #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x female reader #fem reader #female #virgin!reader #first kiss series #first kiss fic #fluff #abuse mention #tw young smoker

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terrifyingly-bi · 2 years

Text

Fool for You (Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader) (Part 3)

Summary: After what could only be called a minor disaster at your house with Billy storming off, you were left wondering if the situation was salvageable. Turns out you didn't have to worry.

Warnings/tags: flirty reader, confident reader, dating, billy is slowly turning into a mushy bf, have some steamy making out as a treat ;)

Wordcount: ~2,9k

A/N: Mooore! Mooore Billy because you asked for it and I also asked for it. Sorry bout the delay, got hit with big sad and wanted to be in a good mood when I wrote (am fine now, Billy content has cured me)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

『••✎••』

It had been a long and frustrating week. You'd had to deal with demanding parents and shitty kids almost every day, you'd sprained your wrist Wednesday afternoon when you kept a kid from cracking their skull open on the concrete, and Billy had barely spoken two words to you throughout the entire week.

Needless to say, you were in a bad mood when you got off work on Friday afternoon. It didn't help that you'd barely had a moment to yourself and had been on your feet all day.

That's why you thought that you deserved a dip before you went home. Adam was going to show up later that night and clean the pool, so you had almost an hour to hang around. You put your things aside and climbed into the cool water with a sigh.

You pushed off the ladder and floated out on your back, staring up at the darkening sky and the handful of clouds soaring above you. It was a perfect summer night. Just a slight breeze, not too warm, and no pesky bugs. It was easy to wind down and relax once you got into the water.

For a while, you stayed still and floating, enjoying feeling weightless and listening to the soothing sounds of the water pump and the slight splashing of water. You let your eyes fall shut as you let out another - more relaxed - sigh. Working at the pool did have its perks after all...

Your eyes opened when you sensed movement in the water, but before you had time to react properly a pair of arms scooped you up. You yelped and flailed your arms around when Billy picked you up and held you against his chest.

"I'm pretty sure there's a rule against swimming after hours," he said. He didn't sound mad, and the smile on his face was unusually soft and playful.

"You scared the hell out of me," you said. Your arms were around his neck, although you were still partially floating, and his arms kept you pressed tightly against him. "A warning would have been nice."

"I called out to you. You didn't respond. I just did my lifeguarding duties," Billy said.

You looked at him for a long moment. He had barely spoken to you for the past few days and now he decided to get in the pool with you. "Well... I'm glad you're here, actually," you said truthfully.

His expression was hard to read. "Yeah, I'm glad I caught you actually," he mumbled and averted his gaze. "I'm sorry about Friday. I wasn't expecting all that. Guess I chickened out."

"There's nothing to apologize for," you said.

Billy had clearly not expected that, just as you had not expected an apology. "Are you free tomorrow night?" He asked.

"For you? Of course," you said. “What do you have in mind?”

“Date me,” he said.

“You could at least ask,” you said with a smile.

He rolled his eyes. “Will you go on a date with me?”

"Only because you asked so nicely," you said. You were wary about being too dismissive of him. He'd gotten up and ran the last time you'd talked, and it still hurt a little bit.

But Billy seemed to harbor no ill feelings. He smirked at you. "I can be nice when I want to," he said. "Problem is it's hard to find people I want to be nice to."

"Am I one of them?" You asked.

His smirk turned affectionate. "It just happens that you are," he murmured. "So what about it? What is it people do for dates? Go to the movies? Make out in the doorway?"

"I'm down for that. Maybe I'll even... what was it you called it... put something pretty on for you."

"Just another reason to take you out," he said. He adjusted his grip, dropping one of your legs and sliding his other hand from our back to grab it again. "Have I told you that you look good in this?" His fingers teased at the hem of your swimsuit - where your hip met your leg.

You took the hint and wrapped your legs around him, putting your hands on his shoulders, it was easy to float around in the pool, and the water was a cool contrast to his warm skin. "I've come to like it," you admitted.

"I think it fits you perfectly." He hitched you up a little higher. "Makes me mad when people look too long."

You chuckled. "Yet you prance around looking like this?" You gave his broad chest a pointed look before glancing at his face to gauge his reaction.

"It would be a shame to cover it," Billy said.

Unfortunately, you could only agree. You couldn't help but pout at the fact that you had to share. You certainly weren't the jealous type. But...

"Don't like sharing, baby?"

A shiver ran down your spine and you felt something stir within you. You shifted awkwardly. As quick as you were sometimes, your head was too full of fluff to come up with a witty comeback. "I... uh..."

"What's got your tongue all in a knot?" Billy murmured. His smirk was back and you could swear that you'd never seen anyone look so pleased with themselves. "Need me to sort it out?"

"Maybe," you said.

"Really?" He clearly hadn't anticipated your sudden shyness, and the meek 'maybe' had obviously thrown him off.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" You asked.

He grinned. “I thought girls didn’t kiss before at least the second date,” he pointed out. “Isn’t there some unwritten rule?”

You leaned closer. “I don’t much care for those rules,” you said.

“Whatever you say, baby,” he murmured. He leaned closer to and your eyes fluttered close in anticipation.

“Ahem.”

You and Billy both looked up only to see Adam standing at the edge of the pool with his hands on his hips. Billy offered him a sheepish smile. “What’s up, buddy? You’re early today.”

Adam sighed. “I thought I’d get the cleaning done early today. I sure hope this isn’t what you two do at the end of all of your shifts. I don’t want to know what I pull out of that filter, and this,” he gestured at you and Billy, “is knowing.”

“Come on, Adam,” you said. “We were just fooling around. Aren’t we your favorite coworkers?”

“Right?” Billy added. But when Adam didn’t budge, he gave a long sigh. “Fine,” he said and adjusted his grip on you, tossing you up to throw you over his shoulder. You yelped in protest and reached for something to grab. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get out of here.”

Adam ushered you out of the pool and you hurriedly went to change into your normal jeans and t-shirt. Billy waited for you by his car, leaning against it while he smoked. The grin he wore made it obvious that the two of you were more than okay.

“Let’s get you home, babygirl. I wanna see you all dolled up tomorrow.”

There was something special about seeing him in a loose-fitted shirt - tastefully unbuttoned - and tight pants. You'd grown so used to seeing him in his red swim trunks that you were almost shocked to see him stroll into the theatre looking like a movie star right off one of the posters.

He turned heads at the pool, as he always had, but people had to do double takes just to make sure that it was really the Billy Hargrove sauntering up to you.

"Hey," he said cooly and looked you up and down. "Looking good."

"Likewise," you said, taking a moment to appreciate him in a sexy red shirt - accessorized with a chain around his neck to bring attention to his muscular chest. "I'm a little surprised. For a moment I thought I was being stood up."

Billy shrugged. "Hair wasn't going to fix itself," he said nonchalantly. "And maybe I was having cold feet."

You smiled at him. "I'm glad you changed your mind, and I love the hair."

He smirked at you before he nodded over to the ticket booth. "Are we doing this or what?"

You got tickets to the next screening, stocked up with the appropriate snacks, and went to find your seats. Although he claimed it was his first outing like this, he was surprisingly smooth about it. You were almost afraid to ask, but he noticed your quizzical look by himself.

"I'm making an effort," he said. "Just take it, Y/N."

You chuckled when you sat down, holding the popcorn in your lap. "Alright. You just... You are full of surprises. This is a proper date. I'm feeling a little flustered."

"You'll be feeling all kinds of things later," he mumbled when he sat down next to you. His usual comment somehow made the entire thing even better. At least he wasn't forcing this entire night to be something he wasn't.

"I can't wait," you whispered back as the lights dimmed.

Billy flashed you a final wink before he turned to look at the large screen.

Throughout the intro of the movie - which you’d already forgotten the name of - you snuck glances over at your date, who seemed to make a semi-serious effort to keep his attention on the screen. His mouth twisted into a sly smirk when he glanced over at you and

The night went from a normal movie date to a friendly competition of who could employ the most seduction tactics.

Barely ten minutes into the movie, Billy employed the age-old tactic of faking a yawn to drape his arm around you. You weren't going to let that slide, though, making sure to grab for popcorn every time he did just to slide your fingers over his.

It was a fun but frustrating hour and a half. You don't think that either of you got much out of the movie and its plot. By the time the final climax of the movie was playing out, you and Billy were tangled up in one another, arms around each other as you tried to make the other tick.

When the lights finally began to dim back on, he grinned at you. "Is that all you've got?" he asked.

"I'm just getting started," you said.

Billy's grin grew wider as he slowly untangled himself from you and got up, offering his hand to you. "Let's get this show on the road."

The two of you decided to go on a walk. Neither of you was ready to go home just yet, and it was hard to be as close as you wanted while one of you was driving. The weather was pleasant and not too warm, and since it was summer it was still somewhat bright out.

“So how’s this dating thing treating you?” You asked playfully when you veered off the street onto a smaller path. “Is it as bad as you’d feared?”

Billy snorted. Taking the cigarette from between his lips and flicking a small pilar of ash off before replacing it. “I’ve been on dates before, you know,” he said. “They’re fine, I guess. More fun when the girl isn’t some prude.” He grinned at you.

You gently slapped him on the arm. “What’s wrong with being a prude?” You asked. “And I can’t help that I’m a bit… handsy.”

“Handsy, huh?” Billy asked slyly. He looked down the path and took a few short drags on his cigarette.

You liked him like that. Quiet but not distant. He’d made it more than obvious that he listened - and remembered - the things that you talked about. Which made you wonder what else he remembered. “Listen,” you said, squeezing Billy’s hand.

He looked down at you, trying not to exhale a cloud of smoke at you. “I’m listening,” he said, turning and giving a slow exhale. His adam’s apple bobbed when he took another drag.

“You said you like honesty, yeah? How about we share some right now?” You suggested, dragging him over to the nearest bench.

You sat down and Billy slid into the seat next to you. "Tell me about when we first met," you said. "What did you think about me?"

Billy snorted. Getting him to open up - especially about feelings - wasn't easy, but you were determined to get him to share his thoughts with you. He put his arm around you to buy time, but you weren’t having it.

"Well?"

"Ladies first." He said and cleared his throat.

"No, you go first," you said, leaning further back on the bench, watching him as he smirked lazily at you. "And it better be true," you added with a grin.

Billy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine," he relented when his gaze fell back onto you. "When I first saw you, I saw a plain Jane. Little did I know, I'd have my metaphorical butt kicked by your confidence." He reached out and poked you on the nose. "Nice butt, too."

Chuckling, you tilted your head to the side. "You really thought I was plain?"

"You told me to be honest," he said with a shrug. "Now you go."

You pouted your lips. "When I first saw you, I saw a Californian dream," you confessed. "And the moment you opened your mouth, you crushed that dream into tiny pieces."

"Hey!"

"You said it yourself," you laughed. "You're an asshole."

"You're still here, aren't you?" He moved the arm he had around you back and forth. "A man can change. Or pretend to."

It was your turn to roll your eyes. He had changed considerably since you met him, but not his ways. He was still cocky and rude at times, but he was much more honest and seemed to think a little bit before speaking.

"I like you as you are," you confessed in a moment of mushy weakness. "I don't like having to tiptoe around a guy. I like being honest, and myself."

Billy smiled softly at you. "I like it when you're being yourself," he murmured and ran his hand over your cheek.

You looked at one another, admiring the affection and admiration in each other's eyes. Your gaze briefly darted down to his plush lips. "What was that you said about kisses on dates?"

"Yeah..." he breathed. "I don't think I can wait until the second date to kiss you."

"Me neither," you said, leaning closer to close the distance between you.

Your lips met and the slight tingle of static that sparked on your lips wasn’t nearly enough to dissuade any of you to pull back. Billy’s tongue tasted like the sugary drinks he’d had at the movies, and the warmth of his breath on your skin made your head spin.

Billy gave a slight sigh when you ran your tongue over his bottom lip, flicking it playfully before sucking it into your mouth. One of his hands found its way around your throat, his fingers gently squeezing the back of your neck as he pressed you closer.

You eagerly scooted closer, nearly planting yourself in his lap as the already steamy makeout session turned even hotter.

A light moan left you when his other hand ran up your thigh, gripping the supple flesh as if he was afraid he’d drop you. Two could play that game, was all you could think, reaching and taking a firm grip of the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer and making sure that there was no space between the two of you as your lips moved as if synchronized.

There was a familiar warmth growing in the pit of your stomach, radiating downwards as your heart beat faster and your breath became more labored. Part of you was embarrassed that you’d gotten so worked up, and another part of you wanted more.

Just as you were about to say something undoubtedly horny and probably desperate, the sound of footsteps sounded behind you and a loud click made you flinch.

The light was blinding, and you and Billy both squinted to protect your eyes from the unwelcome sting. "Alright, lovebirds. Break it up. This is a public space."

Billy snorted as he shielded his eyes from the light of the flashlight, looking over at the police officer standing a few yards away. "Aw, come on, Phil," he said, feigning innocence. "We were just chatting."

"Yes, you talk so well with your tongue down her throat," the officer said. "Get a room, or do I need to call your parents?"

You couldn't help but giggle as Billy tried to talk the two of you out of trouble. Billy had a way with words, that was undeniable and it was fun to see him try and charm his way out of the officer's ire.

"Let's get going, Billy," you said. "Privacy does sound kind of nice."

Both Billy and officer Callahan turned and looked at you. "Is does?" they said in unison.

"I mean..." Phil cleared his throat, suddenly looking flustered. "You two run along. I don't want to catch the two of you sucking face anywhere else tonight."

"Sure you don't," you murmured with a smirk, which only seemed to make him even more flustered. You turned and looked at Billy as you got up. "Shall we?"

"Hell yes," he said, taking your hand and hopping up from the bench. "Good night, Phil."

Phil didn't reply and instead hurried off muttering something about teenagers and decency under his breath. Soon the light from his flashlight faded into the night.

『••✎••』

taglist: @manyfandomsfanvergent @maackiimoo @joeyfilth @frogtits1 @wh0reforbucknasty

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #stranger things #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #dingus writings

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fritextramole · 2 months

Text

in their secondhand smoke

part 1 of an Eric van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

If I Go, I’m Goin ~ Gregory Alan Isakov

This house, she's quite the talker She creaks and moans, she keeps me up And the photographs know I'm a liar

Sweet Hibiscus Tea ~ Penelope Scott

And I am not your protagonist, I'm not even my own

right where you left me ~ Taylor Swift

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies But I'm right where you left me

If You Know That I’m Lonely ~ FUR

Maybe it stays as it's always been Hazy and they see what we can't see Please let me know if you want me around And I'll try my hardest to be good

Matador ~ Minta & The Brook Trout

Go out of your way Or fake it through another day Everything is real Make your peace with whatever you feel The unwilling coalition of characters crowding your thoughts Make too much noise And way too little sense

Everybody Dies ~ Billie Eilish

Everybody dies, surprise, surprise We tell each other lies, sometimes, we try To make it feel like we might be right We might not be alone

feelings are fatal ~ mxmtoon

I'm always sad and I'm always lonely But I can't tell you that I'm breaking slowly Closed doors, locked in, no keys Keeping my feelings hidden, there is no ease I need it to stop and I want to be able to open up

6/10 ~ dodie

I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here Oh I'll just call a taxi (I know that you don't want me here)

Self Care ~ Penelope Scott

Do drugs, have sex, tell your deepest darkest secrets to your friends Post cringe, buy guns, are you done yet? Fuck, not enough, cry a river, smash a cup But it's never ever gonna be enough For the people in the back row, but you still choose to listen Knowing damn well it's really not their decision

Soda ~ Nothing But Thieves

I'm an exception It's hard to accept Because I try to be happy But then I forget

Goodbye Rocketship ~ Maya Hawke

I forgive you, and I thank you, you know all the reasons why I'm sorry and I love you, all we can do is try

Guiltless ~ dodie

You opened a door that a kid shouldn't walk through Oh, but I’m not bitter, I'm just tired No use getting angry at the way that you're wired

xanny ~ Billie Eilish

What is it about them? I must be missing something They just keep doing nothing Too intoxicated to be scared Better off without them They're nothing but unstable

Andromeda ~ Weyes Blood

Lift the heart from the depths it's fallen to We all want something new But can't seem to follow through Something's better than nothing Or so that I thought

Memories Can’t Wait ~ Talking Heads

There's a party up there all the time And they'll party 'til they drop

After Hours ~ The Velvet Underground

Dark party bars, shiny Cadillac cars And the people on subways and trains Looking gray in the rain as they stand disarrayed Oh, but people look well in the dark

They / Them / Theirs ~ Worriers

What if I don’t want something that applies to me? What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything, anything?

Gone for Good ~ Matt Berry

After a whole night of hell Could be night, who could tell? I realize no matter what I display It turns to shit and ends up just the same way

Shine ~ Collective Soul

Love is in the water, love is in the air Show me where to look, tell me, will love be there?

IDK You Yet ~ Alexander 23

How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?

Dear Someone ~ Gillian Welch

Hurry and take me straight into the arms Of my dear someone

Comfort Crowd ~ Conan Gray

I just needed company now Yeah, I just needed someone around Yeah, I don't care what song that we play Or mess that we make Just company now

Home ~ Cavetown

Often, I am upset That I cannot fall in love, but I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Storm Cellar Heart ~ Mutual Benefit

Taking shelter To wait out this inclement weather And when you hold me It's so much better

Soft Place to Land ~ Sam Beam, Jesca Hoop

If you're looking for a soft place to land The calm of a steady hand An unconditional friend If you need to take a moment to catch your breath Come in before you catch your death You don't have to pass a test to come home

#gg #ggplaylists #eric van der woodsen #gossip girl #source: senamarais #tw suicide #not explicitly but it's what we're talking about here

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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

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Poetic Tragedy (Part 8)

Pairing: Reader X Billy Russo

Warnings: Cursing, angst, sadness, substance abuse, mental health issues, mentions of sexual assault. This one’s a little dark and not really in a violent way (okay some of it is lmao). Just more the themes explored, I guess?

A/N: This one is a little calmer. I figured I’d give you all some respite from the angst… for now lmao

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Your unfocused eyes were trained on your reflection, looking at someone you barely recognised. Your eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, your face gaunter than when you were a user. Part of you wondered if you’d be better off on the streets still using heroin than being here like this and clean. When you’d woken up, you’d been in bed alone and your boots had been taken off. You had no time to even think about Billy being considerate though as you’d darted off to the bathroom to throw up. Your night had been plagued by nightmares, of Dean having a hole blown through his skull over and over and over on a painful loop. So when you’d woken up at 4 am, you’d made a mad dash for the toilet as your stomach rid itself of its contents. You’d spent a couple of hours after that sitting on the bathroom floor as you shivered, but it wasn't the temperature that was bothering you. You couldn't shake the desperate aching in your chest or rid your mind of the devastating memories. And all you’d been able to think about was how some H would make it all better, would take the edge off the pain.

Honestly, it was a good job Josh was dead because you knew you would have snuck out and got some off him. Despite all of your thoughts of never turning back to that life after the hell you went through to get to the other side, you couldn't think straight and the need to use had consumed you. You weren't sure if the pain meds from the hospital had also made it harder, giving you a small taste of what you used to have. And so you’d sat there crying and shaking, unable to take the pain that was squeezing your heart in a vice-like grip. You’d been so anguished and yearning for a hit that you’d crept downstairs to Curtis’s sick bay, hoping to find at least some strong painkillers to help you. You’d been very fortunate to find that the door was locked though and all you’d felt was burning shame for even attempting it. It had been a smack in the face to realize how low you were willing to stoop for a hit in a time like this and it had been a wake-up call. So when you’d returned to your room, you knew you needed to pull yourself together.

Dean had been around you for years, always pushing for you to get clean. He’d been overjoyed when you’d finally gone and done it. To go and do that after what happened to him would be shitting all over his memory, to go back to living a life he never wanted for you. The utter self-loathing and grief you were feeling were completely selfish and you knew that. Because you felt responsible, you felt like he’d died because of you. Because he was no longer around to make you feel better. It was all selfish. But you couldn't be selfish after he’d died the way he did. You couldn't do that. You had to be strong and move past it, live a clean life and do it in his honor. Otherwise, all of it would have been for nothing. He’d died trying to protect you, died because he’d gone out there trying to cheer you up. The least you could do in his memory was try and stay clean and be strong. It had taken another few hours for you to slowly come to that realization, for the tears to stop, for you to finally get up and dressed and ready for the day. But eventually, a blanket of numbness had settled over you and you were grateful for the relief from the pain. And now, here you were at 8.03 am, staring at your own reflection and wondering who the fuck the girl was that was blinking back at you.

You heaved a sigh, turning away from yourself as you left the room. Tomorrow would be the big day, when all the shit would go down. After that, you would be free and you could leave this place behind along with all the violence and death that seemed to come along with it. You walked down the stairs, arms wrapped around you like pretty much always and you were surprised to see the guys all up and training already. Breakfast usually started around this time and you weren't sure if they’d already had it or forgoed it entirely. Your eyes spotted Billy as he gave some of his guys a pep talk and you felt anxiety and uncertainty curl around you. You weren't sure which Billy you’d get despite the things he’d said the night before. It wasn't like he’d never flipped on you before. You didn’t know or not if you’d get the nice one, the one he’d told you was the real one. You didn't much feel like finding out either with how raw you were feeling so you made your way to the cafeteria area in hopes of avoiding him.

“Hey, not sleep well?” Karen greeted you as you stood in line for the food. She had a knowing frown on her face as her eyes assessed you. You knew you looked like shit.

“Not really,” you admitted with a shrug.

“You know… if you ever want to talk about it, you know you can talk to me,” she murmured softly, her eyes sympathetic. You nodded, nibbling your lower lip as you avoided her gaze.

“I appreciate it but I don't really wanna talk about it,” you said with a small smile that you knew probably looked more like a grimace. She gave you a smile in return with a nod but she seemed to sense how you were feeling and thankfully left you alone. You decided on some toast for breakfast, thinking your stomach couldn't handle much else in its current state. You didn't just avoid Billy but you avoided everyone as you sat at an empty table out of the way, sitting facing away from the training area. You nibbled your toast as you heard Frank and Billy go through some drills with their recruits but you weren't really paying attention, eyes glued to the table in front of you as you tried to eat.

You’d been so excited for them to go out there and hurry up with the Irish thing so you could go back to your normal life. You hadn't felt anything but impatience over it. But now, hearing them go over the plans and getting their guys ready, you felt nerves clawing at you. It suddenly occurred to you that anything could happen the day after. Any one of these people could wind up hurt or dead as collateral with the Irish mob and you clenched your eyes shut as Dean flashed behind them. These people, strangers, had taken you in out of kindness and taken care of you ever since and anything could happen to them. And while you knew they weren't doing it solely for you, you knew that with the Irish wanting you dead, it had definitely sped up their plans a bit. You realized how selfish you’d been then. Only thinking of your own wants and needs, the desire to leave this place and for it all to be over. It hadn't even occurred to you before that something bad could happen. Now you just felt worried. You set your half-eaten piece of toast on the paper plate, suddenly not feeling hungry at all.

You scrubbed your good hand over your face, wishing you could get rid of this horrendous hopelessness you were feeling. When someone sat in the chair next to yours, you looked over to see Billy sitting sideways in the chair to face you.

“You alright?” he asked softly. Your eyes scanned his face as if trying to work out just which Billy this might be, but all you saw was concern shining in his dark eyes. It made you relax but only minutely.

“I really don’t know what I am right now,” you admitted honestly. He nodded, eyes looking down at his hands for a moment.

“I heard you this mornin’. Figured it was a nightmare or some shit. I want to… wanted to check on you but… wasn't sure if you wanted…” he trailed off with a frown, a guilty look on his face like he felt bad he hadn't checked on you. While you were touched he seemed to be the Billy you preferred and that he wanted to help, you hardly expected him to come running every time you were hurting. If that was the case, you'd be glued to each other.

“I wasn’t feeling up to company anyway,” you murmured, trying to give him a smile. It went silent then and it was a little uncomfortable. Not because of any tension between the pair of you but because neither of you really knew what to say.

“You guys are training earlier today,” you mused, feeling the need to fill the silence. You were used to it and the calm it brought you back in your little alley, but it was supposed to be silent when you only had yourself for company. It just felt off when it happened with other people around.

“Yeah, we got a big day tomorrow. Gotta make sure the guys all know the plan, what to do,” he replied, glancing over to where Frank was barking orders. You felt that pang of nerves hit you again then and you shifted in your seat.

“I want you to promise me something,” you muttered, not looking at him.

“What is it?” he asked easily. When you finally turned to look at him, his deep brown eyes were soft as they gazed at you and it made your heart feel a little funny.

“Tomorrow… if shit goes sideways then… just promise me you’ll get you and your guys out of there. Don’t try to be a hero and end up getting killed,” you said firmly.

“You don’t think we can do it?” he asked with an amused lilt to his voice, brow quirked up.

“Even if you do, it doesn't mean people won't get hurt or killed in the process,” you answered darkly. His amused smirk seemed to melt off his face and his hand darted out, snatching yours from the table as he held it between both of his. One of his thumbs rubbed soothing circles on the inside of your wrist as you blinked at him.

“We thinned out their numbers quite a bit. There's more of us than them now and we got a plan. A solid one. You don't need to worry,” he murmured, giving you a meaningful look. You nodded as you chewed on your lower lip and it wasn't lost on you that he hadn't really promised you anything. But you tried to tell yourself that these guys knew what they were doing. That Frank and Billy wouldn't be doing this tomorrow if they didn't think they’d be able to do it. It was hardly the first crime syndicate they’d taken out. He stayed sitting with you for a moment longer, your hand still in his. But then Frank had looked over, gesturing with his head for Billy to come back and join him.

“I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?” he gave you a smile, squeezing your hand before letting it go and you felt the loss instantly. You nodded, watching as he stood and sauntered back over to the rest of them.

You felt far too tightly wound, full of anxiety for the day after and haunted by the past. So in the end, you’d sought out Karen and asked her to put you to work. You needed a distraction and you didn't care what it was. It ended up being laundry. You’d somehow missed the laundry room on the lower floor when you’d explored a little and you’d been a little taken aback by the sheer amount of laundry in a place like this. But if you really thought about it, it made sense. There was a shit tonne of laundry and a shit tonne of people. Karen had stayed with you for a while, showing you how it all worked and what you needed to do, but eventually, she had other things she had to be getting on with here. She was like the mother of this place, keeping it running like a well-oiled machine. And you’d ended up alone in the laundry room as you got to work. You spent most of the day in there, washing and drying and folding. But you welcomed the repetitive nature of the whole thing. It was better than sitting alone with your thoughts as you got sucked into a dark spiral. When all the normal laundry was done, you were putting the uniforms for tomorrow together like Karen had asked you to. They all had uniforms for these missions consisting of black cargo pants, black and gray thermal fleece long sleeve tops and bullet proof vests. Each one had the names of the person who owned them and they'd been cleaned, so now it was your turn to sort them out and put each person's uniform in a large plastic ziplock bag with their name on it. You were sitting on the floor, taking care as you folded each item and put them in the right bag to make sure someone didn't get pants or a vest that was a size too small. It would be your only contribution to the big fight and you wanted to at least make sure you did it right.

There were no windows or clocks in the room and you had no idea how much time had passed, but then the door opened and you looked up from where you were sitting surrounded by a mountain of clothes and plastic bags. Billy leaned in the door frame, eyes sweeping over what you were doing before his lips quirked up a little.

“Havin’ fun?” he snorted, making you smile.

“I don’t really mind it. It’s relaxing,” you shrugged and he nodded in understanding as you sealed another bag and put it in the pile of completed ones.

“You comin’ to get dinner?” he asked softly, his arms folded across his chest. You knew it was around 6 or 7 pm then as that was usually dinner time. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably at the idea of food and you scrunched your face up a little as you shook your head.

“No… I’m good thanks,” you replied, giving him a grateful smile. He nodded, tongue swiping his lower lip as he pushed to stand up properly.

“You want a drink or anything?” he asked. You hadn't known how long you’d been in here but it was like his words made your mouth realize how dry it was.

“A water would be good,” you nodded. He shot you a smile before slipping out of the room. You rolled your shoulder, not much different to how Billy would, but because it ached like a bitch with all the stress you’d put it under. You welcomed the pain though. If you focused on the physical pain, it made it easier to deal with the emotional.

It didn't take too long for Billy to come back but he wasn't only holding a water bottle. He had a plate of food with him too and you were already preparing how to politely tell him that you were serious when you said you didn't want food. Your stomach couldn't handle it. But as he handed you the bottle of water, you murmuring a quiet thanks, he moved to sit against the wall opposite you and you quickly realized the food was for him, not you.

“You don’t have to eat in here with me,” you said softly. You didn't want him feeling like he had to be stuck in here with you because you were all alone.

“Maybe I want to,” he shrugged, a lazy smirk on his face. Your lips ticked up into a smile before you unscrewed the cap off the bottle and took some large pulls. It was quiet while he ate and you didn’t want to disturb him so you just got on with your task. He ate greedily and when he was done, he set his plate down before wiping his mouth with his hoodie sleeve. You smiled to yourself at how boyish the small motion made him seem. You didn’t really know how to make conversation with him. You were sick of always talking about death and violence and depressing things. You didn't have it in you to keep going around in circles talking about the same shit. So you were more than grateful that Billy seemed to pick up on that. Instead, he started telling you stories from his time overseas with Frank. Lighthearted stories of the mischief they’d get up to, or his time back stateside that he spent with the Castles. Any time he mentioned the family, he had this sad smile on his face, unable to look at you with his slightly haunted eyes but you remembered the burden of guilt he felt the need to carry for their deaths. You appreciated his stories though. It gave you something to focus on as you got the uniforms ready and it left no room for uncomfortable silence and the dark thoughts that followed. You didn't share with him, but you did laugh at some of his stories, asking questions when the need arose. It was nice, a welcome change from the heaviness that seemed to surround you. You weren’t quite sure how long you spent with him there, watching the easy smile on his face as he looked more relaxed than you’d ever seen him. You liked it though, enjoyed how easygoing he seemed. It was a far cry from the angry man you’d witnessed only days prior. The one who seemed to have the weight of everything pressing down on him unbearably.

The door opened and Frank popped his head in, glancing from you to Billy.

“Sorry, Bill. Need you to help me take inventory in the armory. Check we’re all set for tomorrow,” he muttered apologetically. Billy turned to you then, looking hesitant, almost like he was asking for permission. You gave him a smile and a nod. You didn't really want him to leave but you wouldn't be selfish and take up so much of his time. He had better things to do than sit with you.

“I’ll be right there,” Billy replied as he looked back to Frank. Frank nodded, shooting you a kind smile before he disappeared once more. Billy let out a little sigh, grabbing his empty plate and standing up.

“I’ll catch you later,” he murmured, blinking down at you with his warm brown hues.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” you smiled, earning a bashful smile from him.

“Anytime,” he smirked before he left, shutting the door behind him. You slumped a little, not even realizing you were holding yourself so tightly around him. You weren’t quite sure why your body was reacting this way now since he wasn't being a dick anymore. Your brain didn't see him as a threat. But still, you felt a strange tenseness with being around him you couldn't quite put your finger on. It took you a long while to get all the uniforms prepped and ready to go and then you piled them all into a big plastic crate. Karen had asked you to deliver them to the rooms but gave you the option of just leaving them outside of the doors and not knocking. There were a hell of a lot of people here, people you didn't know and hadn't really met yet, it was far too much interaction for you. You heaved the box, gritting your teeth at the pain gnawing at your shoulder as you did. You knew there would probably be a more efficient and painless way of doing it but you couldn't be bothered thinking of one. You were far too tired at this point. Besides, a little pain was good. You felt like you deserved it anyway.

You went around the second floor, leaving the uniform packs outside each one. Karen had been kind enough to put the names and room numbers on each plastic bag before she left you to do your task so you didn't mess up. When you got to the third floor, you almost felt dead on your feet. You felt a pang of hunger now your stomach had settled but you knew it was late and the cafeteria was closed. You didn't feel like bothering anyone so you could eat so you tried to ignore it. You left Frank’s uniform outside of his room and then Curtis’s too. He wouldn't really be fighting, just there if anyone needed a medic. Although you knew he was capable of fighting if he had to. The last one ended up being Billy’s and you stared at it for a moment, that unsettling nervous feeling making your stomach flip around. You sighed before carefully putting it outside of his door. You left the box near the wall between yours and Billy’s rooms. You really didn't feel like going all the way back downstairs just to drop it off and come back up again. You’d bring it down in the morning.

You finally made it to your room and you felt the exhaustion down into your bones but you welcomed it. Your body was well and truly tired and you hoped that maybe you’d get some good sleep tonight. A sleep not plagued by nightmares. Your eyes glanced to the clock on the bedside table as you walked in and you realized it was a little before midnight. You were just on your way to sit on your bed to take your shoes off when your door knocked lightly. You blinked at it for a moment, wondering who it might be and what they wanted at this time. You hoped to a god you didn't believe in that it wasn't bad news. You moved over to the door, swinging it open to reveal Billy.

“I’ve got somethin’ to show you,” he smirked, not even letting you greet him. It wasn't the kind of smirk he wore when he was being an asshole. It was one that told you that he knew something you didn't and you weren't quite sure you liked it.

“What is it?” you asked warily. He snorted, holding his hand out to you as his dark eyes pinned you in place.

“You trust me?” he asked pointedly. It was a loaded question and to be honest, very blunt. But he just raised his brow, hand still outstretched as he awaited your reply.

“I do,” you answered honestly. Maybe it was strange to trust someone that in the grand scheme of things you barely knew and half the time you’d known him he’d been a real asshole to you. But there was a connection with Billy you’d never felt with anyone and you knew deep down that you could trust him. A smile graced his face at your answer and for a moment, you felt breathless at the sight. You knew how intense and violent this man could be, yet right now, he looked so young and normal, even with his scars. You couldn't help but feel a weird pinch in your chest as you looked at him.

“Good, come on,” he grinned, gesturing to his hand once more. You blew out a breath and took it, letting his warm hand take yours as he led you out of your room.

You had no idea where he was taking you and you were even more surprised when he went up the stairs and not down. The only thing up there was the roof.

“You planning on pushing me off the building, Russo?” you asked wryly as he tugged you gently up the stairs. He gave you a grin, mischief dancing being his obsidian gaze.

“Nah. If I was gonna kill you, I’d be a bit more subtle than that,” he snorted. You couldn't help but smile despite yourself. When you got to the roof, the first thing your eyes noticed was the view. It was beautiful up here at night, stars twinkling in the sky and the lights of the busy city not too far away. It was breathtaking. You were used to the outside, you yearned for it. But it was something to behold seeing it at this vantage point. But then Billy was tugging you further onto the roof and your eyes drifted to the double mattress on the floor with a duvet and some pillows. There was a glowing lantern next to it and a backpack. You turned your eyes to him then, curiosity burning in them and he looked away and rolled his shoulder.

“I know you don’t like it here too much. Hate bein’ cooped up and stuck behind four walls. Just thought… maybe you might wanna spend the night out here. Enjoy the fresh air and shit before the big day tomorrow,” he murmured, looking a little bashful as he shrugged. You felt that pinch in your chest again but this time it was intensified and you weren't quite sure what to say.

“Are you trying to tell me you’re kicking me out of my room?” you asked teasingly. It was your lame attempt at humor as a lump in your throat lodged itself deep and you felt a little dumbstruck at how to express your gratitude. It backfired though as his eyes snapped to yours, looking aghast as he shook his head rapidly.

“No! I just… I just thought…” he trailed off, a slightly panicked tone to his voice.

“I’m kidding, Billy,” you said quickly, squeezing the hand you were still holding. You felt bad he’d taken you seriously. He relaxed instantly and you had the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. You didn't though as it meant letting go of Billy’s hand and you felt quite fond of holding it.

“I just… I don’t even know what to say. This is just… amazing. This honestly might be the nicest thing someone’s ever done for me,” you admitted softly, feeling the heat creep into your cheeks. While the fact was slightly depressing, you were being truthful. The fact he knew how much you hated being stuck in and wanted to try and alleviate that for you, even for just one night, it meant the world to you. It was so beautiful out here and the crisp air made you feel at home. It made you feel more alive than you had since you’d gotten here. You weren't sure if you were seeing things given the only light sources up here were the lantern and the moon, but it looked like his cheeks flushed slightly as he looked down at the floor, a shy smile on his face.

“I’m glad you like it. Come on,” he smiled, tugging your hand once more.

He led you to the mattress and you pulled your boots off before sitting on it, getting under the duvet to stay warm. You’d miss the comfort of a duvet once you’d left. You knew Karen would let you take one if you asked but you didn’t want to lug one around. She’d already demanded that you take another outfit with you as well as the one you were wearing, saying you needed it. She’d given you a backpack to take with you and told you to take the hairbrush and any other supplies you needed. Taking a duvet too would just be cumbersome. Not that you planned on moving around a lot but you always had to be prepared. There had been a few times you’d found ‘home’ somewhere, only to have to move on for one reason or another. Billy copied your motions, removing his boots before sitting next to you under the cozy duvet and then he grabbed the backpack that had been sitting next to the mattress.

“What’s in there?” you asked curiously, unable to see as he unzipped it.

“Asked Annie to bake you some shit. Didn't know what you liked so there's a bunch of stuff,” he explained, giving you a sheepish smile as he started pulling plastic containers out of the bag. There were muffins of various descriptions; blueberry, chocolate and others you didn't know. There were different types of cookies too but when he set a container of croissants on the mattress, you grabbed it instantly, a bright grin on your face as you opened it and wasted no time in starting to devour it. You heard Billy snort at your eagerness but you didn't care.

“Oh god, that's so good,” you moaned around a mouthful of food, closing your eyes as you savored the taste. You didn't realize Annie was so good at baking. You didn't know her well, although she was always nice when you saw her. She was the cook here and a pretty good one. From the little you knew, her son had been involved in some kind of gang-related thing, losing his life in the process. She’d never gotten justice for him which is how she ended up here. While she didn't go out brandishing a gun like the others, she kept all the recruits well fed which was an incredibly important job.

“I’ve not had one of these in years. I was like 15, I think. I’d stolen it from a little bakery. The owner caught me but felt bad for me, ended up sending me on my way with five of them. I think the only reason she didn't call the cops was because I was so young,” you murmured, smiling a little at the memories as you made a move to devour a second croissant. Billy reached for the blueberry muffins as he smiled at you.

The pair of you spent some time just eating the treats under the stars and you decided to repay him for earlier. He’d told you a lot about himself in the laundry room so this time, you babbled on about your life on the streets. You’d done the same he did, keeping it light and choosing less dark stories. The streets could be a dark place but there had been moments along the way that weren’t too bad. Random acts of kindness from strangers or just moments you’d been clumsy. You told him about the time some random guy let you pet his puppy and how happy it had made you. How the man had made sure to go past the place you were sleeping every week so you could see the puppy. You left out that after a few months, he stopped coming by and later when you did see him, he’d let you know his puppy had been run over and died. You told him about the time you found your boots in the dumpster, only to fall right inside of it and struggled to get out once the lid closed on you. He seemed to enjoy your stories and you even drew a laugh or two out of him. But you’d seen him give you this little sad smile every now and again, like he felt sorry for you or maybe didn't find some of your stories as amusing as you did.

You let yourself overindulge a little with the sweet treats, knowing it wouldn’t ever happen again and soon enough you’d be back out there with nothing. But it had been nice to let yourself just have a moment of peace and fun. To get away from the darkness for a while. When you were stuffed full, Billy had put the leftovers back in the tubs and in the backpack and then the pair of you ended up laying on your backs side by side as you gazed up at the clouds that had started to roll in.

“That one kinda looks like if Frank and a bulldog had a baby,” Billy murmured with a rueful smirk, pointing up to a cloud.

“What?” you asked with an incredulous laugh.

“That one there, look!” he grinned. You looked up, shaking your head.

“I really don’t see it,” you snorted.

“You gotta squint real hard,” he insisted with a chuckle. You did as he told you and a loud laugh left your lips and you slapped your hand over your mouth.

“Oh my god,” you giggled, making Billy laugh at you.

“See? I told you,” he smirked. When you looked at him, he was already looking at you with a soft smile on his face and your heart felt like it wasn’t beating quite right. You wondered if you’d had too much sugar.

“You’re different out here. More relaxed,” he mused quietly, dark eyes scanning your face observantly. You hummed softly, moving to look back up at the sky.

“I’m comfortable out here. It's just where I’m supposed to be, I missed it,” you murmured. He nodded, gazing back up at the clouds too.

“It’s peaceful out here, I’ll give you that. Kinda reminds me of bein’ overseas. Didn’t always have the luxury of a roof over our heads, had to make do wherever we were,” he said softly, sounding deep in thought.

“Do you miss it?” you asked him as you turned your head to face him. He swallowed thickly, blinking up at the cloud-covered stars.

“Sometimes. There’s some shit I miss, some shit I’m glad to leave behind,” he answered, moving his head to give you a little smile.

“I get that,” you replied quietly, smiling back as you turned to look back up.

While you felt far more at ease out here, you started feeling the nervous energy prickle at you again as you thought about what was going to happen the next day. One of your hands was on the mattress beside you next to Billy and your other was on your stomach, your fingers starting to restlessly tap against it.

“You never promised me before… When I asked if you’d get you and your guys out of there if things go wrong,” you pointed out, your voice uncertain.

“I told you, you don’t gotta worry. We know what we’re doin’,” he insisted. You sighed, leveling a look at him as you glanced at him, raising a brow. He looked at you for a long moment, licking his lower lip as his dark eyes bore into you.

“I promise,” he relented, a soft look on his face. You smiled, feeling a little more relieved and you felt his hand move to yours on the mattress, lacing his fingers with yours. It made your stomach feel funny and you looked away from him, a shy smile toying on your lips. You didn't quite understand why you didn't mind his physical contact so much. Or more so, you liked it. It made you feel comforted, cared for. You shied away from contact from anyone, no matter how caring their intentions may be. It was just different with Billy and it confused you. You weren't sure what time it was as you both just lay under the stars. It had been late already when you’d gotten up here and your exhaustion had been temporarily derailed and forgotten by the excitement of being out here and the food. But now you felt the tiredness creep back in, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt far more relaxed than you had in far too long. It didn't take much time for you to fall into a peaceful sleep with your hand clutching Billy's.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine

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easypeasylindyvesey · 9 days

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here are all the songs on my ITISWNK playlist that y'all can listen to while reading to kinda fit the vibe (if you wish). artists are listed on the left, corresponding songs are listed on the right :)

the 1975: about you, love it if we made it

6LACK: rent free

adele: someone like you, when we were young, all i ask

aidan bissett: more than friends

alicia keys: if i ain't got you

angus & julia stone: take me home

arctic monkeys: i wanna be yours

ariana grande: boyfriend (with social house), be alright, into you, leave me lonely, sometimes, thinking bout you, don't wanna break up again, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), imperfect for you, ordinary things, why try, just a little bit of your heart, safety net, pov, better off, goodnight n go, bad idea, ghostin

aron wright: build it better

berlin: take my breath away

between friends: affection

big time rush: nothing even matters

billie eilish: birds of a feather, i love you

billy joel: turn the lights back on

blackbear: dead inside

børns: electric love, american money

brent faiyaz: wasting time

briston maroney: freakin out on the interstate

bruno mars/silk sonic: leave the door open, after last night, put on a smile, love's train

bryan adams: (everything i do) i do it for you

cage the elephant: come a little closer

calum scott: you are the reason

camila cabello: my oh my, bad kind of butterflies, dream of you

the chainsmokers: closer, it won't kill ya, beach house, if you're serious

chance peña: in my room

chicago: hard to say i'm sorry (2009 remaster)

chris brown: forever

the cinematic orchestra: to build a home

coin: talk too much

coldplay: sparks, yellow, fix you

conan gray: forever with me, disaster, yours, memories

the cranberries: dreams

dave matthews band: crash into me (IYKYK)

dayglow: can i call you tonight?

disclosure: latch

doja cat: agora hills

don toliver: drugs n hella melodies

drake: yebba's heartbreak, imy2, hours in silence, i guess it's fuck me, flight's booked, teenage fever, lose you, from time, summer games, finesse, sooner than later, take care, doing it wrong, the real her, show me a good time, find your heart

dua lipa: break my heart, these walls

duster: stars will fall

dvsn: all that matters (spotify singles)

dylan conrique: birthday cake

eden: sex

ed sheeran: how would you feel (paean)

ellie goulding: close to me, something in the way you move, love me like you do

faye webster: i know you

fitz and the tantrums: out of my league

forest blakk: if you love her

frank ocean: godspeed

french montana: unforgettable

gabrielle aplin: skylight

gavin degraw: she sets the city on fire

gayle: ur just horny

(g)i-dle: i do

giveon: for tonight

gracie abrams: friend, feels like

greyson chance: shut up

grouplove: tongue tied

halsey: now or never, sorry, so good

hannah montana: he could be the one

harry styles: adore you, fine line, grapejuice, as it was, daylight, satellite, meet me in the hallway, two ghosts

hippo campus: way it goes

hoobastank: the reason

hozier: work song, cherry wine- live

hugo brijs: mol y sol

imagine dragons: next to me, start over, wrecked, bad liar

instupendo: comfort chain

james arthur: certain things, car's outside

james bay: wasted on each other

james blunt: you're beautiful

jess benko: a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

john de sohn: love you better

john legend: conversations in the dark

jonas brothers: hesitate, five more minutes

jp saxe: a little bit yours

justin bieber: as i am, off my face

jvke: golden hour

jxdn: beautiful boy

kanye west: heartless, devil in a new dress

katy perry: e.t.

kendrick lamar: die hard

khalid: don't pretend, better

the kid laroi: love again

king princess: 1950

labrinth: skeletons (lexi needed a break)

lana del rey: summertime sadness, a&w, let the light in, lust for life, norman fucking rockwell

lany: if this is the last time

lifehouse: you and me

lil nas x: tales of dominica, void

lil peep: star shopping

little mix: notice

lizzo: if you love me

lizzy mcalpine: ceilings, the elevator, come down soon, like it tends to do, staying, i guess, you forced me to, vortex

lord huron: the night we met

louis tomlinson: written all over your face, lucky again, chicago, angels fly, that's the way love goes

lovelytheband: i should be happy

luke hemmings: place in me, a beautiful dream

the lumineers: where we are, never really mine, just like heaven, sleep on the floor, my eyes, patience, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, morning song

m83: wait

maren morris: nervous

maroon 5: stutter, never gonna leave this bed, if i ain't got you - live, bet my heart, it was always you, unkiss me, feelings, my heart is open

max: butterflies

***mazzy star: fade into you*** (this is the song that the fic is based off of!!!)

metro boomin: creepin'

miley cyrus: you - live, rose colored lenses, river

milky chance: stolen dance

mitski: my love mine all mine

monsume: jade

montell fish: fall in love with you., love you more than me

morgan wallen: wasted on you, not good at not, you proof, wine into water

the mowgli's: say it, just say it

muni long: time machine

nessa barrett: die first

ne-yo: let me love you (until you learn to love yourself)

nf: if you want love

niall horan: this town, put a little love on me, still, heaven, meltdown, must be love

nick jonas: close

noah kahan: stick season, come over, strawberry wine, everywhere, everything

ocean park standoff: if you were mine

olivia rodrigo: bad idea right?, logical, love is embarrassing, teenage dream, good 4 u

one direction: steal my girl, where do broken hearts go, fool's gold, spaces, infinity, end of the day, if i could fly, long way down, what a feeling, love you goodbye, temporary fix, a.m., home, kiss you, little things, they don't know about us, truly madly deeply, magic, what makes you beautiful, one thing, i want

parson james: stole the show

partynextdoor: come and see me

patrick watson: je te laisserai des mots

phillip phillips: dancing with your shadows

p!nk: true love

post malone: stay, take what you want, i know, leave, wrapped around your finger

preston pablo: flowers need rain

quinn xcii: let me down, good either way, the lows

rag'n'bone man: anywhere away from here

reneé rapp: in the kitchen

rihanna: stay

ruby haunt: answering machine

ruth b: dandelions (slowed + reverb)

ryan woods: bad texter

saint jhn: the best part of life

sam fischer: ready

sam smith: lay me down

sarah barrios: mourn the living

sarah kinsley: the king

sasha alex sloan: dancing with your ghost

selena gomez: a sweeter place

shawn mendes: it'll be okay, why, wonder

stephen dawes: don't hate me when it's over

stephen sanchez: until i found you (with em beihold)

strawberry guy: mrs magic

suki waterhouse: good looking

surfaces: falling again, find a way, hold onto me baby, so far away, stay

sydney rose: turning page

sza: awkward, snooze

taio cruz: break your heart

tate mcrae: that way, hate myself, go away, run for the hills, hurt my feelings, stay done, messier, think later, slower, you broke me first, wish i loved you in the 90s

taylor swift: out of the woods (TV), this love (TV), i know places (TV), wonderland (TV), you are in love (TV), "slut!" (TV) (FTV), say don't go (TV) (FTV), is it over now? (TV) (FTV), all of the girls you loved before, champagne problems, tolerate it, evermore, august, illicit affairs, invisible string, miss americana & the heartbreak prince, false god, afterglow, question...?, sweet nothing, bigger than the whole sky, would've, could've, should've, message in a bottle (TV) (FTV), dress, sparks fly (TV), the story of us (TV), enchanted (TV), electric touch (TV) (FTV), i can see you (TV) (FTV), fortnight, loml, the alchemy, you're losing me (FTV)

timaland: the way i are

troye sivan: angel baby, talk me down, for him., wild

the walters: i love you so

the weeknd: shameless, earned it, how do i make you love me?, out of time, here we go...again, best friends, don't break my heart, the knowing

whitney houston: i will always love you, i wanna dance with somebody

wrabel: ritual

yungblud: 11 minutes

zach bryan: i remember everything, spotless

zayn: dusk till dawn

**updated 5/28/2024

#y'all i spent FOREVER making this #all of these songs resonate so well i swear #i think it's strange we never knew #jimmy and abby

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