#roy's insane eyes while he's reading just make me feel so happy

[kendallroydefender]

Somewhere only we know - Chapter 6 (Kendall Roy x Reader)

Masterlist

Series summary: You met Kendall when you were six years old. You have spent every summer together and now years later you and him are still just as close.

This story follows Kendall and his best friend through their lives. Will they realize their feelings for each other before it’s too late?

Chapter six summary: Logan’s 80s birthday is coming to an end nobody saw coming. Stewy and you have a talk about Kendall while Kendall’s try to reconnect with Rava end up with him thinking about you.

Authors Notes: Thank you all for reading and interacting with this fic! I know I’ve said it before but your comments, likes and asks mean so much and keep me motivated! 🤍

Wordcount: 3.5K

In the past week you’ve went on a date with a random guy. You weren’t really interested in him, you just did it because you thought it would maybe get your mind off of Kendall. It didn’t worked at all. You’re not sure why because you definitely don’t have feelings for your best friend. Plus the guy was really annoying and condescending. It’s been years since you’ve been in a real relationship, sure there were short flings or dates from time to time but nobody you really wanted to keep around for long.

So where do you go after a bad date? Right, to Kendall’s apartment. You tell him about you date and he laughs. It all feels better after you vented to him.

You wonder if he’s seeing anyone but knowing that he’s still not over Rava probably not. And you’re right, he has not seen anyone else. Too caught up with trying to win Rava back and working at Waystar (and probably even harder denying his feelings for his best friend). They don’t see each other much in person at this time and when it’s just if he sees his kids. He Skypes with them a lot too.

When you tell Stewy about this while meeting him for coffee he looks at you as if you’re an idiot. ”Honey, what are you doing?“

”Laura said I should get out there more and go on dates.“ you shrug to what the dark haired man rolls his eyes

”Well, first of all she’s an idiot if she suggested that and then you’re an idiot too because why aren’t you going on a date with Kendall.“ you look at him as if he said something insane ”What? Why would I do that?“

”Come on, you don’t have to convince me that you aren’t hopelessly in love with each other.“ he takes a sip of his coffee.

”It’s not like that, Stew. You know it. Also Kendall is still in love with Rava.“ Stewy makes a dismissive handgesture before saying ”Yeah, well he’s an idiot too for believing that. But you know I didn’t believe you when you told me you two weren’t in love back in college and I sure as fuck don’t believe it now.“ you take a bite of your cinnamon roll. ”Anyway Paul wants me to ask Kendall if it’s okay if he takes Rava out“

”Are you kidding?“

”Nope. What’s your reading on this?“ Stewy asks

”Well I don’t think Kendall is over her. Stew, he still wants to try.“

You two are silent for a few moments

”Have you heard Logan stepping down?“ you change the topic. You nod while swallowing ”Mhm. Do you think he will go through with it?“ Stewy asks something you’ve thought about before that you can’t really talk about with someone else. Stewy had been there too to witness Logan’s abuse all these years. ”Guess you can never be sure about that with him.“ Stewy agrees.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

”Tell your dad happy birthday from me.“ you tell him, when he emerges from his closet. You have stayed the night once more and he is off to work. ”And good luck for the deal. I know you’ll get it.“ you encourage him knowing how important the Vaulter deal was for him.

He kisses your cheek before he goes to leave his apartment. The domesticity of the moment is not lost on you but lately it feels like the way you live isn’t friendship anymore. Nothing has happened between the two of you, no kiss, nothing but it still feels like more than just friends. It feels soft and comfortable and so who cares? You don’t want to overthink anything.

You don’t spend the night at each others places as often as you did in the year after he went to rehab anymore but the occasional sleepover’s still happen. Like yesterday night. Now he’s off to work and you will too in an hour. Staying at his house in the morning after you’ve slept over when he’s already off to work feels like something you would do with your partner.

You know today’s going to be a stressful day for your friend, he’s about to close a important deal with Vaulter. Also it’s going to be announced that he will be the new head of the company. He was so happy when he told you about it, you’d told him how proud you were. You knew how important this was for him, he’d always wanted this.

You’re flipping through the channels of your tv when you see an incoming call of Kendall. ”Hey, Kenny, how are you?“ you say and you hear him taking a deep breath. Something must be wrong. ”Yeah, uh not, not so good.“ he takes another inhale ”My dad, he’s, he’s in the hospital. I’m on my way there and I- I’m not sure what happened but it’s, yeah it’s bad.“ your heart sinks ”Wich hospital?“ you ask and after he tells you the name you get up ”Okay, I’ll meet you there.“ he wants to protest even though he feels a slight bit of relief.

You go into the hospital and hurry into the ICU where you spot him pacing in the hallway.

”Kenny.“ is all you say before you hug him. You feel his head in the crook of your neck and you hug him tighter.

”He’ll make it.“ you tell him even though you’re not completely sure.

”I’m okay. Uh, yeah I’m okay.“ he tells you.

You follow him into the waiting area where the rest of his family sits. You go and greet Marcia first. ”Im so sorry about what happened.“ You tell her as she presses her cheek against yours as a greeting ”Thank you.“ She looks at you for a second before she says ”Its good to see you, darling.“.

She sits down again and you stand back to where Kendall is lingering.

”Wait, who’s that?“ you ask, nodding your head slightly towards the right where a tall young man was awkwardly standing. ”Oh, uh that’s Greg- my cou-"

”Oh my god, Greg the Egg!“ you smile slightly and Kendall can’t help the small chuckle that escapes from him.

Connor comes around a corner, he says your name excitedly ”Good, that you’re here.“ wich is met with an ”More like a wonder you’re still around him.“ you roll your eyes ”Hello to you too Romey.“ you say to the younger brother ”So sorry about your dad.“ To wich Connor offers you a squeeze of your arm. The siblings have to go to talk about the company so you take a seat.

You stay and notice Greg’s stomach grumble. Kendall had told you that his cousin needed a job and you doubt he has eaten enough today. Silently you get up from where you’re sitting and walk towards one of the vending machines. The chips tumble out, followed by a bar of chocolate. You walk back into the room where the Roy’s are and sit down next to the X. You let the chips fall into his lap, his eyes snap up to yours. ”Huh? What- why?“ the tall man asks

”I got more than I can stomach right now.“ you shrug.

”Thank- Thank you.“ he says as he opens the bag and you eat in silence for a bit while the siblings are off to discuss

”I’m Greg, by the way.“ he says and awkwardly reaches his hand out for you to shake after wiping the chips residue off on his pants. ”I know who you are.“ you grin before introducing yourself. ”Oh, okay.“ he pauses for a second before he speaks again ”Is it bad that I kind of don’t know you?“ you huff a laugh ”No, you were a toddler when I last saw you. I’m a friend of Kendall.“ this was probably a slight understatement but Greg didn’t need to know all that.

The siblings come back for a moment, Kendall’s eyes finding you. You’re still there and even though everything is hectic and he’s stressed and hurt just seeing you in the uncomfortable chair next to Greg makes his chest feel a little warmer. He wish he could just curl up with you in your apartment right now. Just go home and forget about this god awful day. He gives you a smile and you smile back at him from across the room. His hazel eyes are shining, he looks so pretty. It’s a soft moment in the midst of this awful day.

The siblings rush in and out and Greg was sent away to grab Logan’s things. You talk to Connor who tells you about his farm. You tell him you would love to visit it one day, wich is true. You always loved Connor he was like a big brother to you. Also you knew he cared a lot about his siblings. You had always loved when he came down to visit in the summers in the hamptons and took you all to do fun things.

Roman comes back in and sits down in one of the chairs. ”Oh, she’s here.“ Connor says exited and leaves the room. You have not met Willa yet but Kendall had told you a little about his brothers relationship.

A beautiful young woman enters the room, she seems a little unsure about the situation. Connor gives you a small smile, knowing that you most likely won’t be making mean comments towards Willa. ”I don’t think you two have met yet.“ He says before he introduces you to her.

When Connor and Willa sit down across from you they kiss each other wich turns into a small make out. You and Roman make eye contact and you have to suppress a laugh.

Hours go by and you know it would be perfectly fine if you left, everyone would understand but Shiv has Tom and Connor has Willa but Kendall is alone and if you’re honest you want him to have someone here. He had stayed the whole night when you’re grandma was dying, he even went with you to the funeral, so you want to be here for him too. In a quiet moment Ken sits down next to you, you study him for a second. ”He fucked me:“ Kendall says, not looking at you. ”He didn’t wanted to step down. Said he wants to keep going 10 more years. It wasn’t real.“. You let out an exhale. Of course Logan found a way to torture his son once again. ”I’m so sorry Ken.“ you tell him and reach out to play with his fingers that are resting on his leg. ”The deal, my dad’s birthday, his stroke today was just really bad. I’m just really thankful you’re here.“ you give his hand a squeeze ”Of course Kendall.“ he gives you the hint of a smile. You want to tell him so much more; that he deserves better.

”Hey, have you seen this?“ Kendall asks Shiv as he walks back into the room. ”Im so sorry about your father.“ Willa tells him, sitting up a bit.

”Thank you. Would you give us a minute? “ Kendall says to the woman before he turns to Tom ”Tom would you mind?“ he asks the man to leave the room to. ”Come on. Im not the same as her.“ Shivs boyfriend asks before looking at you ”What about her?“ at the same time Shiv says ” Ken.“. He sighs but lets Tom stay, everyone knows you could have stayed anyway. Kendall trusts you more than anyone else and the others have no reason to distrust you at all. He tells the people in the room about the story Vaulter has just published about the company’s turmoil. ”Shitshow at the fuckfactory.“

They talk about strategies how to deal with Logan’s situation company wise. Kendall says he’s the best for this position. Tom tells everyone he can step up from Regional Parks and start to run North America. Kendall argues that he’s the most logical choice since Logan had planned to announce him anyway. And you silently have to agree with him. Out of the Sibs he is the only choice that would be plausible, even though you are a little afraid what that means for him mental health wise. Roman chimes in to insult his siblings. Shiv starts talking about bringing this decision to court before she brings up Kendalls addiction. You feel your breathing stop. ”Thats enough.“ Kendall tells her leaning forward onto the couch his arms leaning on. You try to deceiver the look on his face. Shiv backtracks shortly after saying that’s not what she’s thinking personally. And to make this whole discussion even more ridiculous Connor speaks up saying that he won’t say that he would make the best CEO.

”What’s your take on this?“ Shiv asks with a nod towards you. You look up from your phone ”Well I think it’s good for the optics if it’s family. The people will eat it up, looks like the family stays together through hard times. But if you’re all against it Gerri makes sense too. Not Karl though.“ you say what’s on your mind. You’re not just saying it because you’re Kendall’s friend but because it does show a picture of unity to the public. ”Uh-huh.“ is Shivs answer as she turns back towards her brothers. You know she doesn’t really take your opinion into consideration but if you had said that you thought Kendall was a bad choice for CEO that he would, at least, think about your words. You doubted he would actually say no if you told him it was a bad idea, it would probably end in a fight between the two of you. Wich would amuse his siblings.

”We have options“ Shiv shrugs

”Fuck your options.“ Kendall says as he turns around to leave the room.

You stay behind knowing he need this time for himself right now. You will go look after him in a bit. Willa comes back in and you talk a little to her, much to the delight of Connor.

The doctor tells you all that Logan is stable and you should get some sleep. It’s early morning already, they have decided for Kendall as CEO and Roman as COO. Rava was visiting for a moment. Greg listened to Shiv instead of Roman and didn’t brought the papers.

You don’t need to talk about it, it’s obvious that you go home with Kendall. On the way to Kendall’s apartment you feel the day catch up with you and you can’t help it when your head sinks onto his shoulder as you fall asleep. His head comes to rest on top of yours shortly after as he drifts off too.

The next days are spend with Kendall visiting Logan in the hospital, you having to go to work and Kendall preparing to become the CEO for the time his father is still sick. You’ve went to the hospital once along side Kendall to visit. Logan gets released on Thursday, you’re glad he’s getting better.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Stewy and Kendall meet at a coffeeshop. Kendall had asked for this to ask Stewy about his opinion on what Kendall should do about the Waystar debt.

”So, dude listen. I could do with a read from uh someone without a dog in the fight.“ Kendall begins

”Actually I gotta talk to you about something too.“ Stewy says with his mouth full of the pastry he got

”This is tight. This is absolutely just us, okay? Because uh a leak kills me.“ Kendall states seriously

”Right. This is about Rava… For a pal." Kendall reacts confused to his friends words ”Rava?“ he asks

”Yeah it’s a mutual friend and they want to know is it cool or are you still hankering for a wankering?“ Stewy ends his question with obnoxious sounds to wich Kendall reacts annoyed ”I- I don’t have time for this… I mean who- who’s asking? What?“

”I can’t say but they just want to know if it’s an issue?“

”Like who fucking Paul?“ Kendall reacts with jealousy laced in his words

”Well if you’re asking I’m assuming it’s an fucking issue.“ Stewy takes a sip of his coffee

”No I mean, look we’re separated. You know? Whatever. Free agents.“ Stewy is slightly amused ”Yeah, no I get it.“ but

he has to ask about you. ”And what about you and Honey anyway?“ Kendall’s brows furry ”What about us?“ Stewy rolls his eyes ”Well you spend all your free time together, you always talk about each other to me. Kendall you sleep in the same bed multiple times a week and don’t get me started on the way you’re looking at each other or these fucking lingering touches.“ Stewy goes on and Kendall gets defensive ”It’s not like that. You know it.“

”I’m just saying but Ken please don’t string that poor girl along if you really want to get back with Rava.“ Stewy knows you and even if you wouldn’t say so it would break your heart. ”Whatever.“ Kendall dismiss his friends words all while ignoring the tightening in his chest.

”I’m gonna have another. You know, if you eat it fast enough it actually burns off the calories? It’s like a loophole.“ Stewy says before heading to the counter before they start to talk about business.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s been a few days and you haven’t seen Kendall much. You know he’s having a lot of stress with the Waystar debt and his new role as a CEO. You know Stewy had agreed to give him the money, he had told you in a call earlier today. He had also told you, he would go meet Rava for dinner tonight.

After work you go to a gig from one of your clients. You had asked Kendall if he wanted to come with you, that’s when he told you he already had dinner plans with his still wife. His voice sounded happy, like he was exited and you knew he was. He was so hopeful of winning her back but from the last time you talked to Rava you knew she wasn’t really so enthusiastic about getting back with him.

Rava wakes up the next morning after she went out with Kendall again.

”Okay. I have to go.“ Rava gets up and walks towards the bathroom

”What about Malaya, can’t she?” Kendall asks with sleep laced in his voice

”No, Iverson will freak out.“

She goes to the toilet when she hears Kendall speak again

”Hey Rava? Why don’t we just do it all? You know, back together“

She puts her hands over her face ”Uh, let’s talk later?“

Kendall crawls out of the bed

”Hey? But that was nice, right?“ he asks as she starts to brush her teeth, the other toothbrush next to Kendall’s didn’t go unnoticed by her.

”Nevertheless.“ Rava answers

”What?“

”Look, I, uhm… I- I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe it’s, uhm. Shit, it’s like- like you’re moving on and maybe that makes me feel okay about moving on too.“

”No. I’m not moving on Rava. That’s bullshit.“

”Ken. Theres another toothbrush and shampoo in the bathroom.“

”Oh no, it’s not like that. That just belongs to y/n.“

”Yeah and that’s okay, I’m not angry or anything but Kendall please be honest with yourself if you wouldn’t be happier with her.“

And Rava isn’t jealous or upset. No, she’s happy that Kendall has you and she’s sure that last night wouldn’t happen again. She wasn’t in love with him anymore.

”Rava, come on. We’re just friends.“

She gives him a small smile,

”Yeah okay but I’m telling you now that it’s okay if there would be something else. Let yourself be happy.“

”But I am happy with you.“ he starts again after a second

”Kendall, we’ve been over this.“ she groans ”Just- just think about it. I got a lawyer. He’s nice. Let’s just keep this all really, really nice, okay?“ she gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. Kendall sits down back onto his bed to take in Ravas words. He doesn’t understand why everyone constantly thinks you two are in love with each other. Especially people close to him. Rava and Stewy should know better. They know him and you. Has anything changed about the way you behave around each other? You sleep over more at each others apartments but other then that? But what about the stolen stares and lingering touches Stewy mentioned? In the end Kendall comes to the conclusion that Stewy is just a dickhead who’s trying to get under his skin. Everything’s the way it’s always been. Just friends. Best friends. The ringing of his phone breaks him out of his thoughts. It’s Marcia, she says Logan is wanting to talk to him. He will send you a message later or call you in the evening.

While Kendall is throwing himself into work you on the other side have kind of accepted your feelings. But it’s not the first time you caught feelings for Kendall. Maybe you could just wait until they disappear again, but then again did they ever disappeared or were you just really good at swallowing them?

#kendall roy x reader #kendall roy imagine #kendall roy x you #kendall roy fic #kendall roy fluff

[moumantaimf]

Intermission, Page 4/4

=============

With this... I want to finally celebrate the first anniversary of this comic! While technically the first page was done on September 19th and some of the characters had been created long before, it was a sketch the one that kickstarted the whole comic idea and that one was made on September 17th, 2022.

Last year I was working but I had lost most of my love for art due to multiple reasons. I decided to start this comic because "If I don't do it now i will never do it". And it ended becoming a sort of miracle cure: Working on this brought me back all the love I had for arting. And while properly getting back into the groove was extremely hard (couple with a lot of RL reasons), this comic helped me to regain my sanity and the appreciation for everything.

I decided to pour here everything I had learned so far. Writing. Trying to make a story that didnt rely on crude jokes, edgy stories just for the sake of being edgy, and trying to keep it SFW to an extent.

Chapter 1 didn't have much writing on it beforehand (just a vague note); I was trying to just "draw, don't stop". I was also afraid of losing interest (like has happened with most of my stuff before) so I wasn't sure how far I was going to reach with this (and that's why I didn't try to make a page like this for the comic at first). But I carried on. And started properly writing the story I wanted. I look at it now and its insane for me to think that I have an actual proper story, a lot of characters and relationships that feel natural.

This story is what I think is my magnum opus and I'm putting all I know, learned and have into it. However, saying I've done this alone would be super false. I tried to put in the credits the peeps who have helped me in one way or another, and I want to sincerely thank not only them, but also you, the reader, for your interest and for reading this, and also to everyone who shares this and so. I hope to continue making a story you like.

See you during November or December when chapter 8 comes!

- Vic

====================

Panel 1: D is in a graveyard. He says "…And that's what's been going on. I even got a space sister, one that actually acts way less spoiled than your daughter in spite of having much more".

Panel 2: D smells a handful of flowers with their eyes closed.

Panel 3: D drops the flowers next to the gravestone of 'Emma Reh' with an epitaph in German: 'Der Tod, so bitter er auch sein mag, ist nicht das Ende, sondern nur eine weitere Stufe, von der aus wir zu einem besseren Leben übergehen'. D says "You know what, old hag? I forgive you for all the bullshit. To be honest, I'm sorry you never found happiness in your life; unlike what you taught me, I learned that life actually can be beautiful and worth living. I don't really love you, but I genuinely hope you found some peace at the end, and that you're having fun with all your boys down there. Now it's my time… to leave with my new family, or pack, as we call ourselves. And you… You sleep well or whatever. Auf Wiedersehen wir sehen uns in der holle".

Panel 4: The band is walking through a street, but both Sher and Rowi are hugging D. Rowi says "Hey D, you're still very stressed. Wanna get some Döner Kebab with us?". D replies "S…sure! Thank you guys. You're the best thing that has happened to me in my life".

Panel 5: Roi, standing on a ceiling, wearing a visor, says "We love you too, D. You can be sure of that". There's a small narration square saying "End of recap. Thank you for reading this intermission. The story will resume in Chapter 8".

#moumantai #comic #alien #cute #avali #vampire_bunny #moumantai motherf★ckers #furry #manga #deer

[alecmagnuslwb]

Say Your Name Softly

Read on AO3

“Jaybird what happened to ‘don’t call any attention to ourselves’?” Roy asks as he looks around the bar where Jason has absolutely just caused a scene.

“I’m improvising,” Jason says throwing a wad of bills onto the bar for the owner as an apology for the trouble he’s just caused. “And choose between Jaybird or your trachea, you can’t have both,” Jason adds on because he doesn’t need Roy giving him some stupid nickname.

Roy, naturally, doesn’t listen. Jaybird sticks and despite his reputation and vague threats Jason never actually does anything to put a stop to it. Jaybird becomes common vernacular for Roy.

First Jason’s pretty sure Roy does it just to annoy him, especially when he realizes Jason wasn’t really serious about the whole trachea thing, delighting in every sharp glare that has less and less heat behind it every time Jason shoots one back.

From there it just sort of evolves, Jason stops glaring every time Roy says it and it becomes an everyday friendly nickname that as much as Jason is loath to admit it out loud he likes.

He’s Jaybird and well that’s fine.

***

Roy takes a running jump from the ledge of the building reaching out for the grappling hook and landing with a grace that sometimes still surprises Jason.

He doesn’t stop moving as he rolls to a stand and takes off, arrows knocked and aiming at the goons cornering them.

“Cover me Jaybird!” he shouts as he goes, expertly dodging gunfire while hitting three of the goon’s square in the chest with stun arrows. Jason curses under his breath already in motion guns at the ready. Beside him Dick chuckles.

“Jaybird?” he laughs and questions simultaneously as he stands and does a complicated flip jumping into the fray. Jason ignores him taking out the kneecaps of several of the guys while Dick kicks and punches his way through a pack of them, the blue of his Nightwing costume moving like a blur. Off to the side he hears the familiar thwip of a bow and thud of knocked out bodies.

Between the three of them they deal with the lackies easily, to the surprise of no one Black Mask doesn’t even bother showing his ugly, bony face. Jason’s tying up the last of the goons when he hears the sirens in the distance, Montoya most likely leading the charge. Jason stands to his full height about to shout over to Roy that at least he needs to get going, he’s not exactly on the best of terms with the GCPD just yet even if he’s been cleaning up his act.

Roy however beats him to it, “Jaybird!” he shouts from the other side of the roof where he and Dick have been chatting. “We better motor!”

Jason turns and shoots a thumb out to the direction of the next roof over so they can make their escape quickly before the cops show up not needing to say a word for Roy to know what he’s meaning. Roy nods in return before turning back to Dick, the two do some complicated bro handshake that ends with a loud high five before Roy immediately takes off in a run shooting another grappling hook for he and Jason to slide across.

“See you soon,” Dick shouts at Jason as Roy already makes his slide over to the next building. “Jaybird,” he emphasizes with a big doofy looking smile that Jason hates. He does not have time for his big brother teasing him about going soft or something by letting Roy call him a nickname.

“Hopefully not too soon, Dickie,” he shouts flipping his brother a playful middle finger as he takes off in a run following close behind Roy.

***

Dick isn’t the first, or the last to comment on the little nickname as more and more people hear it. Kory always gives Jason this look, this soft understanding look that he doesn’t understand every time he lets the nickname slide. Alfred drops on comms one evening to invite him over for tea and calls him Master Jaybird and Jason can hear his teasing smile in the words. One by one his family and Roy’s friends all start to just make little notices of it, like it’s some big deal.

Which it isn’t. It’s not like the words become more and more a term of endearment than a nickname, like lately Roy hasn’t taken to saying it a lot softer than he ever had before and started accompanying it with these lingering soft little touches. It’s not like Jason hasn’t found himself feeling something a little deeper than friendship of late when Roy says it, like he doesn’t absolutely melt when those little touches brush his skin. It’s just a silly name, that’s it.  

“You good, Jaybird?” Roy asks his hand reaching out to turn Jason’s unmasked face to look at the cut along his cheek, all things considered it’s a minor injury.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jason says not making any move to stop Roy’s hand from lingering. That is until he catches sight of a small pack of Titans out of the corner of his eye. He clears his throat and steps back a bit a small grateful smile that he knows only Roy will notice on his lips. Roy just nods his head resting a hand a little too lightly to be considered some sort of bro slap on his shoulder before he steps away over to the little group.

Donna starts walking their way brushing Roy’s arm in a friendly manner as she goes, Jason’s stomach does a weird fluttering thing at the action. He’s not jealous, there’s no reason to be jealous. He and Roy are friends. Donna and Roy are friends. It’s as unmeaning as the nickname is.

“Jaybird, huh?” Donna says with a tittering laugh as she passes. They’ve just thwarted an apocalypse; Superman is somewhere on the metropolitan battlefield and that’s what she chooses to focus on. Roy just shrugs winking at her as he goes a look of some understanding passing between them that Jason can’t quite read.

Jason turns around bending down to pick up his helmet where it had been rudely knocked off of his head during a fight. Donna’s boots come into his eyeline, the amazon standing firmly beside him. He stands to his full height mirroring her stance with her arms crossed and hip cocked. She watches over where Roy, Dick, Gar and a few others have gathered checking in with each other.

“You better treat him right, Todd,” she says turning the full force of her warrior stance on him. Jason squints at her, the sky has turned back from its bright red to the sparkling night it should be, it makes the little constellations and stars on her outfit shine even brighter and makes her somehow more intimidating.

“That’s all,” she says before he can scramble to say it’s not like that with a wide fake smile, she reaches out her hand and places it on Jason’s shoulder like Roy just had, but with a much firmer grip, a grip that means business. It takes every bit of his Batman training not to wince.

She smiles more genuinely after a moment and steps away her eyes trained upwards when she spots Diana fly above.

Jason just watches her go expression unmoving realizing that maybe everyone keeps pointing out the nickname for a reason.

***

Jason’s not totally certain how he ended up at an arrow family dinner, except for the fact that he’s weak in the face of a bright-eyed pouting Roy Harper. So when he’d asked Jason to come as a buffer in case things between him and Ollie got intense his big green eyes bright in the morning sun with a pout on his face as he gave Jason a giant mug of coffee just the way he likes it, well he didn’t have it in him to say no.

Roy had been dodging the invitations for nearly a year, but when Dinah showed up in person and asked him to come there was no way he could say no.

Plus they’ve been spending more and more time in the warehouse in Star City than the loft in Gotham these days anyway, so really it was more a matter of convenience than anything.

So here they all are surrounding a big green table, which Jason thinks is a little on the nose, and everything has been shockingly pleasant so far. Dinah had practically burst into happy tears when she saw Roy on their doorstep and she’d even welcomed Jason in with open arms.

It’s clear the other arrow kids love Roy he’s oldest of them and they all look up to him and it pains Jason to see how surprised Roy is by that fact all the time. He’s not a screw up in their eyes, he’s their hero who overcame a lot to still be sitting at this table today.

Connor and Cissie are fairly indifferent to Jason which is just fine by him, except for Emiko who keeps asking exceedingly inappropriate questions about Batman that Damian always refused to answer. Jason doesn’t have any qualms about answering them however and he’s certain he’ll be getting a stern call from Bruce in no time about it. Mia is even shockingly polite, which considering their history is the most shocking thing about the whole evening.

Even more shocking though is Oliver Queen himself who is nothing but cordial and corny the whole night through. He’s clearly trying to maintain an easy-going environment and watching his words carefully so that he doesn’t test any boundary or limit that will lead to even one tense moment between he and Roy.

He doesn’t like Jason, but he’s never liked Jason so the simple fact he’s made not one negative remark about Jason’s presence is just enough for him. Everything about this night is clearly a win in Roy’s book judging from the smile that’s rarely left his face all night.

Dinner is perfectly pleasant and even makes Jason a little nostalgic for his Robin days when he was still innocent and family dinners weren’t just the occasional tea with Alfred. They’re lingering after dinner clearly each just waiting to see who will be the first one to break and say they need to leave and go on patrol.

It’s a waiting game Jason’s seen and always been the first to break at every gathering of his own brood, the only reason he’s not tonight is for Roy’s sake. He’s not even really paying attention anymore just lingering over the Tupperware of insanely good chili that Oliver had pushed his way moments ago letting the family just be together.

“Hey, Jaybird,” Roy says startling Jason out of his staring contest with the chili. He looks up and meets Roy’s eyes followed by the amused little smiles of everyone else and Ollie’s wide eyed, confusion maybe? Definitely surprise. “You ready to go bust up that fight club?”

Jason raises an eyebrow. The fight club in question has been on their radar for some time now, they’re 99% certain they’re using meta’s against their will and have been planning a little coup of their own over the weeks. Roy has about one and half feet in the door as a high roller, playing the role of spoiled rich boy looking to blow money even better than Jason does.

The next time he shows up he’s certain it’ll be the clubs last night in operation, he didn’t think tonight would be that night.

“You sure?” Jason questions searching Roy’s eyes for confirmation that this isn’t because he missed something going sour. Roy’s eyes look clear and certain and Jason knows he hasn’t missed a thing, Roy just wants to get the job they started done. He nods grabbing the Tupperware and the rest of the arrow kids take that as their cue each signaling their own farewells. Ollie never stops watching the two of them however, he looks like his mind has been running a mile a minute as he leans against the counter.

He finally moves when they all makes their way out the door, Dinah hugging each of the kids and even Jason as they file out. Roy and Dinah chat for a few more minutes while Jason safely secures the chili to his bike.

Roy looks so light and carefree and it makes Jason smile against his will. They walk over to the bike together Dinah hugging Roy one more time before he turns to Ollie and they do a weird bro hug style farewell that’s only a little bit awkward.

Ollie grips his bicep when they pull back. “You sure you two won’t need any backup with whatever you’re messing around with tonight?” he asks eyes briefly flitting over to where Jason leans against his bike.

“Nah, we’ll be good, Jaybird’s got my back,” Roy says. Ollie gets this amused look on his face as Roy steps away and takes the spare helmet Jason offers him. Jason gets on the bike first ignoring whatever is going on with Oliver.

“Jaybird,” Oliver mumbles under his breath before shaking his head. “Well if you change your mind, Pretty Bird,” he says looking Jason directly in the eyes as he pulls her close and places a lingering kiss on her head. Jason can’t ignore the implication of that comparison the way he’s managed to ignore everyone else’s glances and little comments. “And I are just a call away,” Ollie finishes with a chuckle.

Roy gives him a smile and a salute as he puts on his helmet and slips onto the bike behind Jason sitting a little closer and holding Jason’s waist a little tighter than necessary. Jason throws down his helmet visor to avoid the way Oliver’s still looking at him all meaningful and vaguely threatening before speeding away.

***

Tearing down the fight club is a hell of a lot easier than Jason expected it to be. They gear up at home then they’re in and out and sending vans full of free meta’s to safe havens set up around the city by the Black Canary herself in under two hours.

They’re both a little banged up when they make it back to the warehouse, but it’s nothing a few band-aids and a little Neosporin can’t handle.

Roy starts discarding pieces of the fancy burgundy suit he was sporting as soon as they’re in the door, Jason follows suit pulling weapon after weapon from his person in what they lovingly refer to as the discard box by the door. It’s their go to spot for all the weapons that need a good cleaning or maybe a good recycling down in Roy’s workshop.

By the time Jason’s down to just his pants and an under-armor shirt Roy’s settled down at the kitchen island rifling through the first aid kit with one hand and holding his other to a spot on the back of his head.

Jason walks up behind him picking his hand up from the spot he’s covering carefully.

“Did someone slice you on the back of the head?” he asks grabbing the rubbing alcohol from Roy’s hand.

“Yup, not sure how, but yup,” Roy grimaces when Jason takes a cotton ball to the slice.

“Told you not to cut your hair,” Jason says as he keeps cleaning the wound out. Last month Roy had finally parted with his scraggly red locks for a new cut short on the sides and back and just a little longer on the top. It looks good on him, but sometimes Jason misses the tresses of hair that would always slip their way out of his hats and blow around in the wind when they stood on rooftops. The hair not even fazing Roy from making a perfect shot when they’d fly in front of his eyes.

Roy snorts. “You just miss braiding my hair.”

“Yeah during all our pillow fights and sleepovers,” Jason huffs as he finishes cleaning up the slice and moves to open the Neosporin. He can’t exactly bandage this up so he’ll just have to badger Roy to remember to keep it clean.

Roy sighs. “If only you’d accept all my invitations to those, Jaybird,” he says seriously and there’s implications not even an emotionally constipated Jason Todd can’t catch onto under those words.

“You’re always calling me that,” Jason says as he slowly finishes up on the wound.

“Jaybird?” Roy asks slowly turning around to face Jason when he gives him a tap on the shoulder signifying he’s done.

Jason nods swallowing the lump in his throat realizing this conversation is happening there’s no jumping around it anymore.

“Well aside from your attempts early on, it was pretty clear you didn’t mind it all that much,” Roy says leaning back against the island. He reaches out brushing the bit of hair that’s fallen into Jason’s eyes, it’s the part that’s shock white a stark contrast to the rest of his dark hair. “So, yeah I call you that all the time.”

“You know Oliver calls Dinah Pretty Bird all the time,” he says tracking the movement of Roy’s hand as it falls slowly down the length of Jason’s arm.

“That he does,” Roy hums as he reaches Jason’s hand and tangles their fingers together.

“And you call me Jaybird,” Jason says looking up from their joined hands to Roy’s eyes.

“That has been established.”

“You know some people might make implications based on those similarities,” Jason says holding Roy’s eyes.

“Yeah they sure might,” Roy says pushing himself off the island. They’re practically nose to nose, eyes locked. “Damn do I wish the right person would realize those implications already.”

Jason swallows again a small smile forming on his lips. He never thought this would happen, that he’d work up the courage and finally acknowledge this ever-growing thing between them. That it would lead to a moment like this.

“Well I think he’s catching on,” he says. Roy smiles bright and lifts his other hand to gently cup Jason neck.

“About fucking time,” he says before leaning in finally breaching the space between them and connecting their lips. It’s a slow, sweet glide with so much passion and over a years’ worth of tension all seeping through when their lips move and their tongues meet. Jason’s not sure how much time passes, but eventually breathing becomes a necessity.

Roy doesn’t let him go far, keeping his hand on Jason’s neck and their fingers intertwined. He tilts their heads together while they both catch their breath.

“Well that works, huh, Jaybird,” he says stroking his thumb up and down the side of Jason’s neck.

“It sure does, Roy Toy,” Jason says with a chuckle hating the nickname even as it leaves his lips. Roy’s head throws back in a deep laugh he can’t seem to restrain.

“No way, nuh uh,” he says still chuckling. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, I’ll have to take up your trachea idea if you try to make that a thing.”

Jason snorts. “I’ll keep workshopping then,” he says before leaning back in and kissing the bright smile off of Roy’s lips.

#my fic #jayroy #jason todd #roy harper #the implications of ollie calling dinah pretty bird and roy calling jason jaybird are A LOT okay

[artificialqueens]

Kids Have Terrible Timing (Biadore) - Sarcastacnt

Summary; One of Roy and Danny’s two daughters has a tendency to get over excited at the smallest things and at the worst possible time for her fathers.

“We can always return her right?”

“See, this is what happens when we trust your genes. Let’s take a second to notice how the spawn with my genes is basically a Saint compared to her sister.”

Danny pulled a face and whacked Roy with a pillow. “Not what you said when she ruin, how many of your gowns was it again? 9?”

“It was 15 and you know it.” Roy grumbled still puzzled at how the then five year old Sabrina had gotten a hold of the gowns, let alone figured out how to work his sewing machine. Something that still eluded Danny.

“Let’s just agree that they’re both evil in their own special ways.” Danny offered, trying desperately not to laugh at the pained expression on Roy’s face.

Roy snorted, “Not much longer until they go through puberty. That’s when we cash in all those offers to babysit from Shane.”

Danny groaned and flopped down dramatically against the bed. “Two teenage girls in one house. What the fuck were we thinking?”

Roy shrugged, “Probably that at least one of them would be a boy.”

Danny laughed, “At least then they wouldn’t bug to borrow our drag. Well, your drag.”

Roy laughed at the memory of the two dark haired girls gasping in disbelief at the room full of princess gowns and lumberjack clothing. “Still can’t believe how good that read was, fucking lumberjack.” He was still snickering when Danny decided he was no longer comfortable laying on the bed.

With a surge of power from his left leg he moved to straddle Roy’s hips. “You’re the one who married a lumberjack Haylock.”

Roy automatically dropped his hands to rest on Danny’s thighs. “You married a princess, least I’m still gay in this version of reality.”

Danny snorted, “Whatever, that makes you a princess, least I’m still a man.” He leaned forward and licked Roy’s neck before whispering in his ear. “Although every single time I’ve fucked you while you were dressed as a princess was hot as hell. You really should let me fuck you in drag more often.”

Roy let out a groan as Danny squirmed on his lap. “Why would I put a bunch of clothes on for sex? Doesn’t being naked make everyone’s lives easier?”

Danny began kissing Roy’s jaw, taking a familiar path down to the collar of Roy’s shirt. “I meant when we preform asshole.” He said as he started to work the buttons of Roy’s shirt open.

Roy rolled his eyes, “Because normally after we preform you’re so fucking horny that you beg to get fucked.” Roy brought both hands crashing down on Danny’s ass, “Remember?”

Danny started to kiss his way down Roy’s chest now that the button down was pushed open. “Fuck yeah I do.” He looked up at Roy, eyes gone a little glassy with arousal. “Speaking of which, it’s been quiet for almost an hour. We should probably take advantage while we can.”

Roy chuckled and began to tug at Danny’s shirt. “You’re absolutely right.” When Danny didn’t move to remove his shirt quick enough, Roy rolled them so he was on top. He quickly pulled off the light sleep pants Danny wore and began stroking the already half hard cock. “Doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?” he teased before taking Danny’s erection into his mouth.

“Never has.” Danny admitted before groaning at the very talented tongue that was quickly turning his brain to mush.

Roy held out his hand, without stopping the blow job and Danny reached blindly for the small bottle of lube on the nightstand. He pushed it into Roy’s hand before letting his head fall back against the pillows.

Wasting no time, Roy lubed up two fingers and pressed them into Danny. It only took a few thrusts before Danny was demanding that Roy ‘stop fucking around and put your dick in me!’. With such a sweet request, how could Roy refuse? He pushed his own sleep pants down and lubed up his erection before taking a second to tease Danny’s entrance.

“Fuck me Roy!” Danny demanded, his hips lifting off the bed in frustration.

“Fine, but next time we have time I’m gonna make you pay for being an Impatient bitch.” Roy said as he grabbed Danny’s hips and started to push himself inside-

“DADDY!!!”

*CRASH, SLAM, BANG*

Roy didn’t know how he did it but somehow he got both of them covered up under the blanket before 6 year old Stevie managed to scramble up on the bed.

“Stevie remember how we talked about knocking? And you’re not listening to me at all, are you?” Roy sighed as he swung his legs over the far side of the bed and pulled his pants up. Danny had no chance to pull anything on, Stevie was not only on the bed but sitting happily on Danny’s stomach.

“Daddy! I found something cool! You gotta come see this!” the little girl had a big grin on her face as she waved her hands in the air. Stevie’s grin was an exact match for Danny’s (pre lip injections, of course). In fact Stevie was the spitting image of Adore, especially on the odd occasion her fathers put her in make up. Not only was the physical resemblance strong but both Stevie and Danny were two of the loudest people Roy had ever met.

A quiet knock at the open door caught Roy’s attention. He looked up to see blue eyed eight year old Sabrina shaking her head in exasperation. “Sorry dad, I tried to remind her to knock but…” she trailed off with a shrug, gesturing to the excited noises coming from the bed as Stevie and Danny talked about something Roy couldn’t quite catch.

Roy chuckled, “It’s okay, I understand my love. What were you two doing anyways? I thought we said goodnight an hour ago.”

Sabrina walked around the bed, giving it a wide berth. She had walked too close to the bed once during a similar situation just in time for Stevie to launch herself off the bed (much to her fathers horror) and land on not only her feet but her sister’s as well. “I showed her a book.”

Roy ached an eyebrow, “Why is she so excited about a book.”

Sabrina made a huffing noise as she crawled up on the bed to sit next to Roy. “There were no pictures in it.”

“You’re telling me your sister is losing her mind over a book, without pictures?” Roy could feel his eye start twitching.

Sabrina nodded, “Are you sure she’s really my sister?” she eyed Roy suspiciously.

Roy sighed, they had this conversation every few weeks. “Yes Rini, you both have the same mother, remember?” Roy remembered the initial thrill when they discovered that the surrogate they had used for Sabrina was more then happy to take on another pregnancy for the pair when they decided to expand their family a year and a half later.

“Are you really sure? Did you check?” Sabrina grilled her father as she watched Stevie and Danny (who had managed to pull pants on while he was distracted with Sabrina) rush out of the room to get a look at this ‘amazing book’ that Stevie had discovered.

“Yes Rini I’m a hundred percent sure she’s your sister. Besides she acts just like Dad, doesn’t she? I promise she’s part of this family.”

Sabrina frowned, “Whatever. I’m gonna go make sure they don’t break my stuff.” She hopped off the bed, her long twin braids floating behind her as she stormed off after them.

Roy fell back into bed and began laughing uncontrollably. He had no idea which part of the last five minutes he found so funny. The interrupted sex, Stevie’s excitement over a book without pictures or Sabrina’s continued irritation that her sister was insane.

Tears were streaming down his face, high pitched giggles still escaping him and abdominal muscles cramping when Danny returned.

“She’s nuts.” Danny proclaimed as he flopped down next to Roy.

A minute later, Roy managed to get his laughter under control. “Was she really that excited over a book with no pictures?”

Danny nodded, eyes wide in disbelief. “War and Peace! I didn’t know books could get that big! That shit’s more complicated then anything I ever read!”

Roy nodded, “Katya was reading it last time her and Trixie were over with their hellspawns. She probably forgot it here.” They almost always used drag names when referring to Brian and Brian just to save themselves the confusion.

Danny snorted, “Least we had time to breathe between kids. I don’t know how they managed 3 at once! Like who even has triplets?”

“Trixie and Katya do, poor bastards. If two teenage girls seems like a nightmare waiting to happen, imagine three hormonal teenage boys. The structural damage alone may just bankrupt them! If those two weren’t bald already that’s what would finally do it. Trying to figure out how much to add to the budget for household repairs every week.” Roy mused, choosing to ignore the fact that while he and Danny did in fact have one less kid, one of said kids shared genetic material with Danny. Roy hoped, not for the first time that Stevie calmed down as she got older. Last thing he needed was one of his daughters proudly proclaiming to be a ‘messy slut’. The thought of the generally sweet (if loud) Stevie strutting around in a mini skirt and low cut shirt made Roy shiver in fear.

“We’re never gonna have sex again, are we?” Danny half heartedly complained, lacing his fingers with Roy’s as they looked at each other with tired smiles on their faces.

Roy released Danny’s hand and rolled so he was on top of his husband. “So dramatic.” Roy teased as he captured Danny’s lips in a breath taking kiss.

It wasn’t long before Danny was a moaning, begging mess under him. Roy sighed in relief as he entered Danny roughly, rather pleased with himself for the broken sound that tore itself from Danny’s lips.

“DADDY!!!!”

“I’m taking her back!” Danny proclaimed loudly as Roy pulled away from him and managed to get their pants back on before Stevie came flying into their room again. This time she was screaming something about the ‘coolest bug ever!

Wasn’t parenting fun?

A/N Thank you to the annon who requested a kid fic where Roy and Danny keep getting interrupted. Swore I’d never write one of these but hey, here we are! I’m also tempted to continue this but for the moment it stands alone.

The girls names; Stevie is named for Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame and Sabrina is name for an alternative name for a boat neck collar. I know nothing about fashion so that’s what a quick Google search pulled up.

As for the teasing each other about which kid has which genes, it doesn’t mean they love either kid less then the other. I think most parents like to harass their partner about who is responsible for which less desirable trait their off spring demonstrates. Like when Sarabi says to Mufasa in The Lion King “Before sunrise, he’s your son.”

#rpdr fanfiction #biadore #adore delano #bianca del rio #canon compliant #parenting au #kid fic #married #fluff #almost smut #request fic #sarcastacnt

[rei382]

The last line game ✨💫

Rules: Share your favorite closing lines from 10 of your stories (if you have less than 10 then list them all!). Feel free to skip any that might be too spoilery. Notice any patterns? Pick your #1 and tell us why you love it. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Thanks @andithiel​ for tagging me!! So sorry for taking so long with this one ^^” I barely remember about half of the things I wrote since most of my works are one shots of various lengths and I have over 100 of them... but I found the time to go over them and see which ones I did like the endings of, so, here’s the list ^^”

More or less in the order I posted them, but not strictly so XD

1. Equilibrium (Drarry, T, 315 words)

With each other, it wasn’t being used.  

It was equilibrium.

2. The Marks It Left On Us (Drarry, 358 words, T, please mind the tags before reading)

You ignore the lingering pain in your throat and the burn in your lungs as you smile at him. “I’m alright,” you say, and you know that it’s a lie. Neither of you are alright. 

3. Broken Promises (Roy/Ed, 8336 words, T, please mind the tags before reading)

Roy’s head dropped, his cheek leaning against the cold prison bars as he tried to compose himself. He opened his eyes when he started to feel threatened from the darkness. The prison corridor felt emptier than it did before Edward’s visit, colder and darker. His eyes landed on the only thing that sparkled in the dull space: the three coins Edward had dropped on the floor, refusing to take them back when Roy didn’t accept. A memory of a better, more hopeful time, when Roy still thought he’d be able to achieve his goals. Of a time Edward still had faith in him.

He reached over and grabbed the coins, holding them tightly in his hand. He should’ve taken it when Edward offered it, even though he did not earn it. He felt sorry for breaking his promise to Edward. He regretted so many things he’d done, so many things he hadn’t done but should’ve.

Death sounded like a safe haven, almost.

4. Food for Thought (Roy/Ed, 1792 words, T)

Roy chuckled shortly. The feeling of relief was like having the weight of the world lifted off of his shoulders. Combined with the happiness of what Ed was actually saying, it made him feel like he was floating. His soft smile turned into a grin. Hospital or not, he couldn’t wait to see Ed, to hold him and kiss him and tell him face to face how much he loved him. “I’m on my way,” he said, and listened for Ed’s short response before he clicked on the disconnect button. He spent another moment looking at Ed’s grinning picture, now decorating his screen again, with the little numbers showing the length of their call. Four minutes, two seconds and seventy-eight milliseconds. That’s how long it took for Roy to go from panic to the happiest he has been in a very, very long time. 

5. Going Public (Roy/Ed, 21781 words, T)

Roy was now so close Ed could feel his warm breath brushing against him. He leaned his forehead against his, their lips so close they almost touched each other. “Are you sure about this? You know people will be talking, even if we just try it out for a week, or a month, or just right now. You can still walk away, I will not hold it against you.”

Ed glanced downwards, at Roy’s lips. Pink and soft, they seemed so tempting. His tongue darted out, wetting his own lips that suddenly felt too dry. He opened his mouth to take in a breath, considering this for just one more moment. Did he want to take the way out Roy offered? But no; those past few days made Ed feel more at ease than he had in very long while, and certainly much happier. At least during the times he forgot about everything else and found himself lost in the conversation he shared with Roy. No. He did not want to back away. He wanted to see what more they could be. He wanted to see how happy they could make each other without pretending, but by being real. He smiled, and placed a kiss on Roy’s lips. It was short and shy, hesitant – and he immediately knew that he wanted more, and this was no mistake. “Yes, I am sure. Let them talk.”

6. Missing (Drarry, 2120 words, T)

For some reason it made him laugh. It annoyed her, but she felt too warm and relaxed to continue caring.

“She definitely takes after you,” he said.

“Excellent. I’m a wonderful person.”

She had to agree with her human. Despite some of his flaws, he was good. For a human.

7. Don’t Quit Your Day Job (Roy/Ed, 5923 words, M)

It was almost like an outer-body experience. Planning a date with Roy Mustang. Because he was more or less caught pleasuring himself to his porn picture. He could not think of anything more insane.

"No, I eat almost anything."

"Good. I'll try to move some stuff and will let you know the exact details. And, Edward?"

Ed turned back, already getting ready to leave. He needed to clear his mind. "Yes?"

Roy smiled at him. "I can't wait."

8. Cupid Owl (Drarry, 17876 words, T)

He looked up at Harry hesitantly, nervous to see his reaction. “Do you… does this bother you?”

Draco had a moment when he thought he might get a panic attack while Harry was staring at the article. He couldn’t read his expression. Would he be mad? Was he regretting spending the night at Draco’s place?

Harry finally turned to look at him, and Draco braced himself to whatever may come. But Harry smiled softly at him, and leaned a bit closer to place a short kiss on his lips. “Not at all. Do you?”

The tension Draco had been holding in his body eased away at once. He smiled back. “I don’t, either.”

9. Worth The Risk (Roy/Ed, 2690 words, T)

Roy kept watching as he closed the door behind him. His lips still burnt from the feeling of Edward’s mouth on them, and for a moment, it felt like being able to kiss Edward was worth all the risks in the world. He relaxed his hold on the file, well aware that the way he clenched on them would leave dents in the paper, and walked towards his desk to place it there.

Riza would scold him so bad when she found out.

10. Scars (Roy/Ed, 520 words, T)

You tell him about the time you took out the trash from your aunt’s establishment and a broken piece of glass tore into your leg. You tell him about the one you got while fighting an alligator. Let alone no alligators lived in Amestris; Ed doesn’t seem to care how crazy the story is. He just listens as if every word you say is important. Sacred. 

Woah. I don’t think I’m very good at endings! I usually have the general premise, or a specific scene I wanna write, and I go from there...

I think if I have to choose my #1 it’d be the one I posted here as #1 - Equilibrium. Most people who commented on it really loved that ending line, and I too thought it was a good way to end that little drabble. It represents the way I perceive their relationship perfectly.

I’m gonna tag... @cai-danu , @aurumdalseni , @ausynja and anyone who feels like playing <3

[allsassnoclass]

the closest i’ve ever been to the heart of everything

Ficmas Day 9

Pairing: Calum Hood/Roy English 

Rating: General Audiences

Key Tag(s): New Years, introspection

Word Count: 1700

Read on AO3

—

The first morning of 2021 in the Hood-English household.

—

2021 arrives quietly in the Hood-English household.  Neither of them have plans, one last difference that 2020 has prompted in their lives, so they sit with Duke in the living room and turn on the radio, breaking out cards and board games to tide them over until the clock finally ticks over to a new day, new month, and entirely new year.  They cheer in the new one and curse out the old one loud enough for Duke to give them both reproachful looks for interrupting his sleep, then Roy heads to bed.  Calum has a few phone calls and video messages to send and respond to, throwing his love and well-wishes out into the world with a sigh of relief and hope for a brighter future.  Roy’s entire world is contained in that living room, and the rest of the universe knows that he has infinite time to make connections and spread light, something which he is more inclined to do early in the morning than late at night.

Duke follows him into the bedroom and flops down on his bed, unaware of how momentous this moment is for his two humans and everyone else who has been desperate to see 2020 go.  Roy is asleep by the time Calum joins him.

The first morning of 2021 begins in darkness for Roy.  He and Calum had left the house the day before to watch the last sunset of 2020, and Roy feels that it’s important for him to see the dawn break on the new year.  Calum had not been so keen, but that’s okay.  As much as he loves sharing bits of himself with Calum, it’s also important to keep standing on his own feet and meet the future head-on, and Calum will still be here, sleeping peacefully and contentedly by the time he gets back.

His hair is a tangled mess against the pillow.  He keeps saying that he wants to cut it, but he hasn’t yet, despite Roy offering to help do it at home.  Secretly, Roy thinks he enjoys knowing that he doesn’t need to particularly take care of it and be visible now.  Over the course of quarantine, Roy has watched him relax into himself more than he already had, giving himself time to exist without the pressures of being an international celebrity or strict schedules that sometimes come with the band.  They both have been on parallel tracks of self-discovery, taking steps on different paths while still holding hands, and it’s been one of the bright spots of the year.

Roy slips out of their house and begins his run.  The city wakes up around him in that hazy way that LA is prone to do, never fully asleep yet always groggy in the early hours, and the further from the heart of it he gets, the lighter the sky becomes around him.  He pauses where he would typically loop back towards home and looks up, sky a beautiful blend of yellows, pinks, and reds, slowly and steadily chasing away the dark desperately clinging to the day.  He closes his eyes and breathes in the energy of fresh starts and a bright sun, letting it fuel him for the way home.

Calum still isn’t awake when he returns, just like he expected, but Duke greets him at the door.  He lets him out to do his business and fills his food and water so Calum won’t have to worry about it, then slips into a quick shower.  It was cold out there this morning, winter permeating across California and here to stay for a while, but they have a gas fireplace that’s warm, and he grabs a journal and turns it on, taking a seat on the floor near it.  His morning mediation is brief today, but it does the trick.  Deep, slow breaths center him, helping him come back to inner alignment, and he rids himself of any tension and focuses his thoughts toward openness to the universe and whatever the new year might bring.  He is constantly trying to improve, but despite the made up classifications of dates and years it’s still nice to feel like there’s a starting point, especially when so many people need it right now.  A new year always breeds a thrumming, united, optimistic energy.  It reassures people that the future can be better, and Roy plans to continue harnessing that energy for the rest of his life.

When he’s done meditating, he picks up the journal.  Duke had joined him in the living room at some point while he had his eyes closed, resting his head on his paws.  He’s used to the rhythm they developed during quarantine, patient in the time between his breakfast and Calum taking him for a walk.  Roy feels like, in a way, he’s learned a lot from Duke this year.  Dogs find simplistic joy in so many things, not needing a lot to maintain their happiness, just love and companionship.  Duke has basked in Calum’s affections this year, overjoyed to have both humans in the house for the longest consecutive time.

Of course, Roy has also been basking in Calum’s presence this year.  It’s been the longest time they’ve been able to spend together since they met, and Calum’s presence has been priceless.

If Roy could summarize his past year in one word it would be growth.  He’s grown as an individual, more than he thought he would, and he’s witnessed growth and metamorphosis in so many people around him, too.  The human race as a whole has been through tremendous growing pains this year, in a way that makes him excited for the future.  None of that comes close to the growth he has experienced with Calum as a pair.

One of the many wonderful things about Calum is his complete support of positive transformation.  Roy has never felt anything but love and steady reassurance from him.  He is a great listener and has never laughed at Roy for his ideas and thoughts, and he understands the value of silence.  Silences with Calum never have to be filled, but somehow he always feels closer to him after an afternoon of separate existence and an evening of quiet company.  Growth happens in those tacit moments, but they also happen in the loud and obnoxious ones that they share, or the joyful laughter that Roy always manages to catch from Calum.

He would have gone insane without Calum around to keep him grounded, a strong anchor when he gets too close to floating away, and he knows that Calum appreciated his presence, too.  Being with Calum makes Roy feel the closest he ever has to his authentic self, a combination of all of the people Roy has been in the past and all of the ones he wants to be in the future whittled down to a singular being in the present.  It would make him uneasy to think that they’ll have to part ways again when tours finally restart if he didn’t know that music was what they’re meant to do.  

Besides, they have an unbreakable bond.  Roy wouldn’t have gotten a matching tattoo with him if he didn’t know even as early as Bali that Calum would be the most important person in his life.

Calum contains too many multitudes to try to journal about, so Roy turns his attention back to the new year and articulates what he wants to see in 2021.  For the most part, the things he writes down are simple.  Once he notices himself talking in circles, he squeezes his last thoughts out until he has no words left, then sets down his pen and checks the time.

Calum will be getting up soon.  It’s time for breakfast.

Roy has never claimed to be a master chef, but he orders pastries that Calum likes and warms some hash browns.  Toast goes in the toaster and fruit gets cut up, arranged into neat lines on a cutting board with a copious amount of blueberries because it’s the one they both like best.

Calum enters the kitchen right before the hash browns are done, dashing Roy’s hopes of giving him breakfast in bed.

“Morning,” Calum says, voice sleep-raspy.

“Happy New Year,” Roy says.  Calum hums appreciatively, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he passes, heading for the coffee pot.

“Coffee's on the counter,” Roy says.  “I got your usual order.”

Calum switches directions, noticing the rest of breakfast laid out.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I figured we’d start the year out right.”

Calum hums again, popping a blueberry into his mouth while Roy takes the hash browns off the heat and gets toast on their plates.  They move to the breakfast nook, located in a ray of morning sun that Roy always sits facing since Calum doesn’t like to squint into it.  Duke takes his place at their feet, eagerly awaiting any food droppings and greeting Calum in the same move.

Calum will end up giving him some toast.  That’s why Roy gave him two pieces instead of just one.

“What are you manifesting for the new year?” Calum asks after he has profusely thanked him for breakfast and eaten a good portion of it.  “More growth?”

Roy marvels at how well Calum knows him and the seamless way they understand each other.

“Yeah.  I want us all to continue awakening and expanding.  What about you?”

“I’m not sure yet,” he says.  “Give me the day to think on it.”

Roy nods.  He can give Calum all the time in the world.

“Do you really think this year will be better?” Calum asks.

“Yes,” Roy answers immediately.  “We can make it better.”

Calum smiles softly, taking another blueberry.

“I like your optimism,” he says.  “You make me have faith in us.”

Roy smiles back at him, an answer that Calum can read easily.  Roy has already told him that being with Calum keeps that faith in humanity growing.  He is an optimist because Calum gives him evidence of the good in the universe every day.  Another year with both of them together can only continue to breed good things, no matter what happens around them.

#my writing #roylum #ficmas 2020 #yeah I don't know what to do with this either! #I can't believe I did this but! I did have fun writing it #it's fun trying to write roy's inner monologue #NO ONE has to read this I know I got moody earlier but genuinely this one is only for me and gregory

[aliasimagines]

face down // j.t.

warnings: abusive relationship, abuse, beating, strong language

🎶insp.

Jason and Y/N were best friends since day 1. They were always there for each other. Y/N could always run to Jason if she had a problem and he would always come up with a solution (or if words didn't work Jay would beat anyone who made his best friend sad). Jason could always count on Y/N; if he was sad or angry she could always make him feel better, no matter what.

Y/N was there when Jason found his mother; when Bruce took him in, when he became the new Robin. When he died and when he come back to life. Everything that happened to Jason, Y/N knew about it. She knew about the Outlaws, she was even friends with Roy and Kori. Y/N even helped them out a few times during missions, as much as Jason disagreed with the idea of his best friend running around in a supersuit with them. He doesn't want Y/N to get hurt, or worse. He couldn't forgive himself. And he couldn't live without her; without her voice as she comforted him; without her fingers playing with his hair when they were having movie nights or without her beautiful smile... Because, the thing is, that Jason is hopelessly in love with Y/N.

But she had a boyfriend, his name is Zack and as far as Jason knows he made her happy.

And Jay knows Y/N. So when Jason sees her walk towards the table he is sitting at, in front of the café, he instantly knows that something is not right.

It was the middle of summer but Y/N is wearing a long sleeved shirt with a red scarf that Jason got her for last christmas.

"You freezing or what?" Jason heard himself saying before got up to hug the girl.

"Jeez, good morning to you too, Mr. I Wear Leather Jacket and Boots All The Fucking Time." Y/N quietly chuckled as she carefully hugged back the vigilante, trying not to hiss when Jason wrapped his muscular arms around her, touching her hidden bruises. "Can't I wear a nice outfit for once?"

"You always look nice ,princess." 'Beautiful, even' he tought to himself than gestured towards the two iced coffees on the table. "I already ordered us drinks"

"Hmm my favorite! You know me so well Jaybird!" the girl sat down and instantly took a sip of the coffee. "Gosh this has caramel in it?! I love you!"

Jason grabbed his cup too and brought it to his lips. "Yeah, yeah I know you do. But what's up Y/N? I haven't seen you for a whole month!"

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not the one who went away for a top secret mission!" Y/N whisper shouted than continued "But I'm fine... Tell me about the mission!"

Jason raised his eyebrows. She only said 'I'm fine' and then moved on. Something is totally wrong.

"I can't, sorry. It's top secret. Buuut you could tell me what's wrong. Cause something is wrong. I can see"

Y/N opened her mouth than closed it not knowing how to respond. Jason leaned forward and put his large hand on Y/N's.

"You know you can tell me everything, N/N."

"I know Jay....it's just.." she took a deep breath before continuing "I just had a small fight with Zack but that's all."

"What? Why? Are you okay? You can stay at my place if you want."

A nervous laughter left her lips as she shook her head.

"No it's fine. It was just a silly argument. I don't even know why we started it. But don't worry it will be fine, we always make up. I just couldn't really sleep because of it." Y/N lifted her coffe to her mouth again.

"What do you mean by 'we always make up'. Do you fight often?"

"Fuck" Y/N cursed quietly for letting that information slip that she indeed had a few fights in the past. "I.. Yeah. But it's fine. We always make up in a few hours."

Jason couldn't believe his ears. When did this happen? When did Y/N started to hide these kind of things from him?

"For how long?" was the only thing he could say.

Y/N looked at her glass, the table, at her shoes, everywhere except for the beautiful blue eyes of Jason.

"For... A few months." Y/N hoped that Jason wouldn't hear from the noise of the few passing cars but when she saw his face fall, she knew Jason heard her clearly.

She closed her eyes, expecting Jason to shout at her but instead she felt his arms wrapping around her.

"Why didn't you tell me, princess?" Y/N hugged back Jay while fighting the tears in her eyes.

"I... I didn't want to worry you. I thought I could handle it on my own."

"And you could?"

No.

"I..." No. There's no way she will Jason about how Zack... How he hurt her. That would only cause unnecessary problems. "Kinda. I think I need to talk to him but... Yeah. Everything will be fine. I can handle it"

"Are you sure? I can help if you want me to." he smoothed her hair away from her face. Jason wasn't really convinced but he is not going to push her, she doesn't need more stress. Y/N shook her head.

"Thank you Jay but it's better if I do it alone." she finally looked in his eyes. "Seriously Jay. Thank you for being here for me."

"Of course, you do the same for me. Now, do you wanna go somewhere else? To get your mind off of it."

"Yes, that would be nice."

Jason pulled you to your feet and held out his hand for you.

"I know just the place. Please follow me, M'lady." laughing at his adorable attempt of a british accent Y/N linked their arms together and followed him.

(a few hours later)

Y/N pushed the front door open with her free hand. She put down her paperbag full of books and closed the front door. Just when she turned the keys in the lock she heard a voice from behind her.

"Where were you?"

Even though the voice was quite calm and gentle, it took Y/N by surprise making her jump a little.

"Holy shit Zach you scared the living shit out of me!" the girl snaped as she finally turn around to find his boyfriend. The man looked down at his feet, ashamed and clearly feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry baby... What I did last night... I went too far. I know and I want to apologize" he reached out, his eyes finally raised to meer Y/N's, and tried to brush away a lock of hair but she flinched away. Pictures of yesterday popped in to her head and she drew in a sharp breath.

Zack stood above her, shouting about how she was a bitch because of the way she dressed. He went on and on about how a guy was checking her out and how Y/N flirted with him even though she didn't even acknowledged the guy but Zach didn't want to hear about it. He raised his hand and... Y/N shook his head trying to forget it.

"Look Zach I... I really don't want to talk about it."

"It won't happen again baby." he leaned down to kiss the girl but Y/N backed away.

"Yeah. But how many times have you promised?" the words just seemed to slip out on there own against the girl's will. Even though it was a quiet whisper Zach must have heard it cause he tilted his head in curiosity.

"What was that?"

Y/N looked at him with a sudden confidence.

"I... you say that all the time. I'm getting sick of always believing your lies"

Y/N truly believed that Zach was going to hit her so she shut her eyes close. So when she felt his fingers caressing her cheeks she froze on the spot.

"Is that so, princess?" Zach leaned so close that his lips brushed against her  (skin color) skin. His voice sounded so sweet. Too sweet. "You say you're sick of my lies? Hmm? Than tell me where were you baby."

"You know that I was out with Jason"

"Of course I know you were with him but who is he to you?"

"What? I don't..."

"Just answer the damn question!" his mellifluous tone sounding angrier with each sentence.

"He is my best friend, Zack."

"Ahaa!" Zack screamed excitedly making Y/N jump. "There it is! Our first lie."

"I know he is more than that! Hell even that lady tought that he was your boyfriend when we were at the cinema!"

"Only because you were tying your shoelaces and the lady only saw Jason standing next to me! Jesus Zack! This happened months ago, don't start this shit again!"

Zack straight up ignored Y/N and continued.

"And you didn't even try to correct her! You just stood there, laughing nervously, glancing at that bastard. If I wouldn't have been there you would have agreed,wouldn't, you? Maybe even grab his hand, hmm? Lay your head on his shoulder and giggle? Like the little bitch you are... "

" Holly shit, Zack! Do you hear yourself?! Are you insane? I. Have. Never. Cheated. On. You. Can you understand? I fucking loved you! How can even say these things?"

Zack step back a little, so Y/N didn't feel so trapped. She couldn't read anything off of his face. He just stared at her blankly. A few seconds passed like this making a terrible tension, and just when Y/N was about to say something, Zack's quiet voice broke the silence.

"... loved...

        loved?

            LOVED?!" by the end he was shouting at her, screaming like a maniac. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'LOVED'?! you don't love me anymore?"

"... How can I, Zack? How can I love you after the things you have done to me? I refused to say this for so long, because I still had some hope... But now I know that you're not the man I fell in love with. Zack. I'm breaking up with you. "

What came after is blurred, Y/N didn't know what happened first. Zack pushing her against the door or him grabbing her by the neck making her gasp out for air in pain.

" You are not breaking up with me" he tossed her on the floor and kicked her toward the couch. "You hear me you bitch? You're not breaking up with me!!" he hovered over her, slowly raising his hand to slap him.

                                                          ~°~

After saying his goodbyes to Y/N, the smile slowly froze off Jason's face. Something's not right. Something's not fucking right.

That's all he could think of as he went up on top of the building. There's more to it.

Thoughts like this crossed his mind as he sat done on the edge of the roof, next to his favorite gargoyle. He reached in his pocked for a box of cigarettes, pulled one out and placed it in his mouth. Looking down at the city, Jason took a drag from his cigarette and slowly exhaled. Looking down he saw cars passing by and tiny silhouettes of humans crossing the road.

He always loved to sit here. Back then when he was younger, when he was Robin, he like to come up because he always felt like he is in control. Like he is on top of everything and noone can tell him what to do. And now he is here because he doesn't know what to do.

Sighing he run his free hand through his hair and then grabbed his phone. Unlocking it he opened the contacts and scrolled down to the letter 'R' and clicked on the name Roy. As the archer picked up, Jason put him on speaker and placed his phone on his thigh.

"Hey man, whats up?" Roy asked holding his phone with his shoulder so he could stir the boiling pasta.

"Hi Roy. I..uhm met Y/N today."

"Uuuu! How is the little N/N?"

Jay shook his head, even though he knew Roy couldn't see him. He quickly exhaled some smoke before speaking.

"Honestly? I don't know."

"What? You always know what's going on with her!"

"I thought so too. But it seems like I was wrong."

"Okay, tell me everything bud. I'm listening." the ginger haired man walked over to the fridge to get some cheese.

"It's about her boyfriend. She said that they are fighting. And she was...so wierd, man. I think she is not telling me everything."

"Well shit. I wasn't expecting that. Hmm... I don't know Jaybird. You 100% sure it her boyfriend? You're not jealous or anything?"

"What!? No! You know that I love her, and all I want is her to be happy but she is not Roy! I'm telling ya, something's fucked up."

"Than I think you should pay her another visit. Just to check everything's cool and maxbe we could all get together for the weekend. Maybe she'll open up if we are all there for her."

"Yeah that's a good idea. I'm gonna check in if she's fine. Thanks, bud!"

" 'f course. Call me if you need me Jay."

" 'kay. Bye!"

Jason hang up and finished his cigarette. He got up and decided that jumping from building to building will be faster that walking to Y/N's apartment. Not that it's that far away but Jay wanted to hurry for some reason.

                                                           ~°~

Just as Zack raised his hand to slap Y/N, the sound of breaking glass rang through their home, making Zack stop and look up in suprise.

"What the fucking hell is...." but he couldn't finish cause a very angry Jason jumped on him causing both of them to end up on the floor. Jason sat on top of Zack as he started to beat him up.

Y/N layed there still scared and shocked, silently crying as she listened to the terrible yet satisfying sound of Jason's fist meeting with Zack's face, over and over again.

Lost track of time, the girl slowly sat up trying to catch her breath. After that she crawled next to Jason and put her hand on his.

"Jay.. Stop. He is not worth it..."

Jason looked at his best friend and he felt his heart skipping a beat as he saw the bruises on her neck which was no longer covered by the scarf, as it fell down as Zack pushed her on the floor.

Jason stood up and grabbed his gun so quickly that Y/N couldn't even process his movements for a second. But when she did, she jumped to her feet too. Jason had the gun aimed at the bastards head but Y/N grabbed his hand.

"No, Jay. Please don't."

"You can't be protecting him after this!"

"I am not protecting him, Jay. But I don't want you to have this on your conscience too. No, the police will take care of him."

"Y/N..."

"Can we leave now? Please?"

Jason's eyes softened as he lowered his gun. He nodded and gestured towards the door. Y/N slowly walked towards it but Jason leaned down and whispered in Zack ear before moving away from his half conscious body.

"You're lucky she is here. Otherwise I would have gutted you. And don't worry, I'll make sure you rot some place terrible. Like... Arkham? A sick bastard like you would fit just right in with the rest of the freaks." he finished his little speech with a good kick in his stomach and ran to catch up with Y/N.

#tw: abuse #tw:abusive relationship #jaosn todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd one shot #red hood x reader #red hood one shot #dc one shot #roy harper #alias imagines

[bat-losers-inc]

Kintsugi: Chapter 7

Summary: Final Crisis/Red Robin AU. Dick admits Tim to a psychiatric facility after Bruce is lost in time. Jason finds him suffering at the hands of a Scarecrow-copycat and breaks him out. While safe in Jason’s apartment, Tim still struggles with panic attacks and drug withdrawal. At a loss for what to do, Jason calls Roy Harper.

Pairings: Jason Todd & Tim Drake, Jason Todd & Dick Grayson, Roy Harper & Jason Todd.

“I think it’s time that you go,” said Roy, placing a firm hand on Dick’s shoulder in a way that made it clear Dick would find himself on the other side of that door soon, whether he walked there on his own accord or not.

Still, Dick continued to plead his case. “All I want to do is help.”

Jason shook his head.  “It’s a little late for that now, don’t you think?”

He didn’t know when his previous show of angry bravado had faded to a weariness for this constant in-fighting. Maybe it was when he’d had a good long look at Dick’s stricken expression after he’d delivered the news about the emancipation papers. An indescribable look had flickered across his features as the knowledge settled into his bones… the knowledge that Tim might amputate his entire relationship with him— like Dick was a diseased limb that could kill him if left to fester and spread. Jason knew the feeling intimately and it felt like a special kind of death.

Suddenly, he felt torn in two. Where did his loyalty lie?

With Tim? Dick? Himself? There was his survival instinct kicking in again; telling him to fuck them all and run for the hills.

Jason hung back and watched on as Dick took a reluctant step backwards as Roy crowded him, forcing him step by step towards the exit. Dick didn’t even waste his energy trying to change Roy’s mind, his whole attention was focused on Jason as if he knew that he was the only real person in the room with the power to stop his ejection. It was true, he could stop this if he wanted— sit down with Dick and talk it out, but Jason felt powerless to force his own body into movement, stuck fast where he stood unable to make up his mind whether to help or hinder his brother.

Would hearing him out betray Tim?

“Just let me explain my side of things before you shut me out, please?”

For all the shitty things that Dick had done to him in the past, Jason knew that, even when wrong, those deeds were done with good intentions. Maybe it was because of that that Jason never had the heart to watch Dick beg.

He found his voice. “Roy, wait.”

Roy looked over his shoulder, hand still pushing against Dick’s upper body. “You sure you want to do this?”

Jason would only be leading himself into the possibility of future manipulation if he took Tim’s side on every issue without question. Tim had already shown them that he knew how to play on their concerns for his well-being in order to get drugs from them. It hadn’t worked, and Tim had been quick to back off and save face, but just the fact that he’d done it with such guile on his first try had hit Jason like a blow to the head.

“Yeah.”

Roy dropped his hand away and Dick stood patiently as he waited for Roy to back up and give him some breathing room.

“Can we go inside and talk about this?” asked Dick.

“No. Not while Tim’s in there. I don’t want him to have to hear this.”

Dick’s brow creased. “You don’t want him to hear my side of the story?”

Jason knuckled his temple in an attempt to ease the tension building up there.

“Honestly, hearing it won’t mean shit to him. All of the apologies you have to give won’t mean shit to him. Because they won’t change what happened as a result of your actions. Stop apologizing. Learn from your mistakes. Live with it.”

“You say that like it’s so easy.”

Jason shrugged and said nothing, choosing instead to stub the toe of his boot against the grease splattered floor. It wasn’t an easy thing to do and Dick knew that, so there was really nothing more he could say. He wasn’t going to lie.

“You weren’t there…” Dick trailed off just as quickly as he’d started.

He threw his arms out at his side, limbs heavy with such a visible weariness that it made Jason feel like he’d just watched him walk into Gotham River until his head disappeared under it’s dark water. Dick was drowning, that much was clear.

He waited patiently for Dick to gathering himself and continue, stewing with his own uneasy thoughts as the silence dragged on.

“You weren’t there to see what is was like after Bruce’s funeral. I had to take over being Batman and it was clear that Damian needed the mentorship that came with being Robin. I felt horrible for taking that away from Tim. Horrible! But…  Damian didn’t just lose Batman. He also lost his father… I figured Tim would understand that and come around to creating a new persona with time.”

“It seemed like he’d started to with Red Robin. So why didn’t you leave him be?”

“Because he came back to the manor with some crazy theory that Bruce wasn’t actually dead but lost.”

“Lost? Like, what,” asked Jason, “in the woods?”

“Washed up on a desert island like Green Arrow?” asked Roy clearly happy for the change in conversation.

“No, like lost in space and time.” Dick threw up his hands. “I mean, it was absolutely insane! We buried his bones in the family plot. There was physical evidence— forensic reports for Tim to read— and still he kept going on about it. He’d practically barricaded himself inside his apartment. He wouldn’t come back to the manor—”

“So you thought committing him to a psych ward was the next best step?” asked Jason.

“Yes! I made the choice to give him the psychological care he needed.”

“Maybe he didn’t need psychological help! Maybe he just needed someone to listen to him.”

Dick blinked at him. “Are you saying you believe him?”

“We live in a world of aliens, metahumans, and lazarus pits. Does Tim’s theory have some very large, adult male body-size holes in it? Yeah, one hundred percent.  Is it impossible?” He racked a hand through his hair. “Honestly, I don’t know. But, I would have at least listened to him and it was shitty of you to not even call me and ask for help.”

“That guilt trip works both ways, Jason.” said Dick. “You could have reached out just as easily as I could.”

“He’s got a point there, Jaybird.”

“Yeah. Now look where it’s gotten us.”

Dick nodded and cast his gaze about the room, but whatever he was looking for his eyes never settled on it. Finally, he looked between Jason and Roy and extended his hand to Jason. “Truce? For Tim’s sake.”

Jason stared at his hand for a long moment, weighing out the options in his head. He’d settled on his answer and was ready to state it— whether it was the right decision or not— when he was blinded by a blur of denim fabric and curly hair as a woman fell into him. He caught her by the shoulders and righted her, hands lingering for a minute to allow her to totter back on her chunky heels.

She straightened up and took a step back.

“Daisy?” said Jason.

Daisy adjusted the tight dress she wore beneath her oversized denim jacket so that it rested to mid thigh. She pushed her blonde curls out of her eyes and flashed him a smile. “Hey, Jay. Sorry for running into you, literally, but it’s a bit of an emergency. Well, I think it is, anyway.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry—” Dick shouldered his way in between them. “Who is this and why is she in your safehouse?”

“Weren’t you listening?” said Roy. “This is Daisy.”

“Hey there, Daise,” Roy flashed her a smile and jutted a finger in Dick’s direction. “this is our friend, Dick. Don’t worry he’s in the night business too.”

Daisy gave Dick an appreciative once over. “My kind or yours?”

Roy crowed with laughter. “Ours. But you hear that, Dickie? If this line of work doesn’t pan out for you, you always have something to fall back on.”

Dick looked less than amused. “Yeah, hilarious. What is she doing here?”

“Daisy and I have a mutually beneficial business arrangement.”

“How’s that?”

“Well,” said Jason. “I make a habit of keeping an eye on Daisy and the other girls who work this neighborhood. You know, run off any troublemakers. In exchange for my services, Daisy reports any suspicious activity she sees in the area.”

Daisy gave Jason’s shoulder a playful shove. “Yeah and sometimes he climbs into my place through the window at four in the morning and asks me to cauterize his bullet wounds with a bottle of vodka and my best curling iron.”

“Oh, real professional, Jason!”

“Yeah we’ve gotta be, don’t we? ‘Cause I mean this boy’s got thighs that make me wanna…” She trailed off with a giggle.  “Well... let’s just say I’ve seen more of this boy’s skin than half of my clients combined.”

Jason ducked his head with a smile. He thought he heard Daisy offering her specialty medical services to Dick (no curling iron service fee included) in an sly undertone to Dick but couldn’t be sure. For all at once Daisy turned back and punched him hard in the shoulder.

“Wait! What am I even doing right now? I totally forgot what I came here to tell you!”

“Ow. Well what is it?” asked Jason, with slightly less warmth than before as he rubbed his sore shoulder.

“That kid that’s staying with you? Saw him climb down your fire escape and head off towards the nearest subway. I could tell even from a distance that he didn’t look in a good way— kinda sweaty and wrung out. ”

Jason’s heart jumped to his throat, all humor dashed in an instant. He spun at once to find Roy, who was already halfway off the stool he’d been sitting on. “Go check the rooms now.”

Roy flew around the railing and up the steps into the safehouse, the door flying open under his hand. Jason tried to gather his thoughts but it was hard to concentrate when the door banged against its frame like a drum playing the offbeat to the rhythmic pound of blood pumping through his ears. He tried to think of the last time he remembered Tim being in the room with them, but he’d been so focused on yelling at Dick in that moment that he’d barely noticed the kid slip out behind him.

“How long ago was this?”

Daisy tossed her hair out of her face. “Uh, maybe five minutes ago now?”

Roy came whipping around the corner, catching himself hurriedly against the stairway rail. “Gone.”

“I’m going out after him.” said Dick.

“Wait— What?” Jason shouted at his retreating back. “You don’t even know where he’s going!”

He was already gone. Behind him Roy was questioning Daisy further.

“You sure it was towards the bridge?”

Daisy nodded.  

“Ok. If he’s heading downtown on the subway where’s the nearest place he could score?”

“How do we even know he’s taking the subway? He could be looking for a dealer on the street for all we know! God, this is a fucking mess!”

Roy shook his head. “Unlikely. He doesn’t know the area and who deals nearby. More likely that he’s going to an established dealing ground.”

“I don’t know what he knows or doesn’t know,” snapped Jason. “Truth is; I don’t know that kid half as well as I like to think I do.”

“Hey,” Roy snapped his fingers sharply in Jason’s face. “Stop losing your shit. If I’m wrong and he’s on the streets there’s a chance Dick will find him. If I’m right, then we go and stop him before he makes a big mistake. So, think Jason! I know you’ve got feelers out on every shady dealer and scoring ground south of the Bowery. He’s a minor who’s strapped for cash and sick from withdrawal. Where’s he heading?”

Jason pressed his palm to his eyes and thought hard. “The Iceberg Lounge. Penguin’s club brings in a large crowd of criminals from all backgrounds. He’s got the best chance of scoring there.”

Roy ruffled Jason’s hair. “Let’s go bring him home, Jaybird.”

#kintsugi #jason todd #dick grayson #roy harper #Tim Drake #angst #batman #red hood #nightwing #arsenal #Red Robin #fanfiction #batman fanfic

[mattness]

Space Dementia

Here we go again)) Another chapter!  OTP: jenniwise Come to read this now! ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chapter VI. New York was lit up by the sunset. The sky was painted in a beautiful orange color, merging with the horizon line. The view from the hotel window, which is located Jen on arrival in the city, was impressive. Now, every evening, thanks to the panoramic windows of the skyscraper, she, being here on an internship, could watch the sunrises and sunsets. And it was insanely inspiring.

Having settled down in hotel, the girl learned that tomorrow she needs to appear on a workplace at nine in the morning. Fortunately, it was only seven in the evening, and there was plenty of time to rest. So Jennifer, without thinking twice, called Tyra and arranged a meeting. A friend was supposed to arrive at the hotel in about half an hour. Jen went into the bathroom and looked at the reflection in the mirror, the flight took from her all power. Under the eyes lay light dark circles, which indicated how she needed a good night's sleep. In the mind again began to scroll to recent events, which don't give rest. Mysterious Robert Grey at the same time managed to repel and attract. Jen couldn't understand why he was stuck in the brain like a cancer tumor. He stuck down as if he meant something to her, but in fact it was not so. Peering into her own blue eyes, she didn't notice how the reflection slowly began to distort. The burning lamp above her head blinked, preparing to burn out. Suddenly Jen felt an unpleasant chill, strolled on the back. Heartbeat quickened, the blood pounding in her temples. Cold sweat erupted on her forehead from the mixed feelings that overwhelmed her right now. Like someone's about to stab her in the back. The girl raised her head to the blinking lamp, cursing softly. The light stopped blinking and she again turned her attention to her own reflection. Wright sighed, trying to bring breathing back to normal. But nothing turn out. Behind the right shoulder in the mirror suddenly appeared a recent acquaintance. He was smiling crazily, and his whole mouth was bloody. Jennifer screamed in horror, instantly turning around: in the place where he stood, nobody was there. "Fucking asshole!" Jen cursed, again having looked in a mirror and for back. There was no one in the bathroom. Having calmed down, Jennifer returned to the living room. She tried to get my thoughts in order and to understand the cause of the sudden hallucinations. Could she have going crazy talking to that idiot for a couple of hours? Maybe it's just fatigue. Because of the flights, strange things often happen. Jen continued to look for glitch in the mirror a rational explanation, eyes searching every corner of the room. Putting her hand to lips, she sat down on the sofa. Maybe a conversation with a friend will help her relax? Maybe as soon as she gets to work, a strange acquaintance will fly out of her head? Brunette very much wanted to hope for it. Something inside suggested that Grey would hardly dare call her back. Surely he has a lot to do in his own company, which he, of course, didn't tell. He so wanted to show themselves ordinary man, that in end overdid it. Jennifer smirked at her thoughts, taking with coffee table red bomper. The jacket was thrown as soon as the girl crossed the threshold of the room. She put her hand in left pocket and fished a snow-white card out of it. The number with the initials of the owner cast gold paint, literally screaming about the high financial position. Jen frowned, starting to consider a small piece of paper on all sides. But she couldn't concentrate. A sudden, persistent knock on the door made her shudder and wake up out of thinking. On the threshold of room was Tyra, which, starting from happiness, immediately began to hug her. Jennifer smiled, also enjoying the coming of a friend. "I'm brought us a bottle of red semisweet as you like", the girl murmured as she walked through the room and placed the grocery bag on the coffee table. "I'm took all for our get-togethers." "Thank you, Tyra", Jen said sheepishly, sitting back down on the sofa. "I'm glad that you found the time for me today." "It's nothing!" friend smiled. "You better tell me everything. How are you?" She went to the mini bar and got two drinks while Wright began to unzip the package. On the table appeared various fruits, a box of chocolates and a bottle of red wine. The girl smiled, knowing that on sober head is the amount of sweet fruit you can hardly overpower. Tyra sat down beside her on the sofa, already carefully trying opens to the bottle. "I'm relative fine", the brunette began, scratching her head. "What happened on the road from Derry to Bangor? You're were alarmed on the phone. And another you told me that met someone," on the face of the girlfriend immediately appeared a sly grin. "What's his name? How old is he?" "Robert. Twenty-seven years", Jennifer chuckled, bending her legs under her. "He's very handsome. Like Roy, only a more advanced version." "Wow! Someone was able to surpass the beauty of this piece of shit out of our University?" Tyra laughed. "Have you photos with Robert?" In response Jen shook her head. "Then describe him to me. I want to introduce handsome." "He's tall and thin. Big green eyes, cheekbones, perfect lips, perfect hair, and weared in such nice suit", smiled Wright, but the smile instantly disappeared from her face. The girl grabbed her glass of wine, making a big gulp. "Everything would be fine if not…" "If not what?" Tyra was surprised. "Such a perfect prince might have something wrong?" "He's very strange", frowned Jen, and she immediately flinched from the recent hallucinations in the mirror. "Too mysterious and, one might say, muddy. In his eyes there is a kind of madness." "Well, if he haven't demons, then I wouldn't have believed in his existence," she smiled, sitting comfortably on the couch. "Try to lose him, Jen, and I'll kill you." Brunette with incomprehension stared at Tyra. Why would she want strange Robert Grey continued to communicate with her? Didn't she realize Jen was serious? Still, it's difficult to assess the story of a stranger... Yes and the was only the first impression, which is often wrong. Maybe Jennifer is really wrong about Robert, and he isn't the way she had already imagined him? "Rich and beautiful guy may not be without its own demons", smiled Tyra, send in her mouth grapes. "You know what I'm able to make a joke about", giggled Jen, letting go of all thoughts and finally deciding to properly relax. "With him is not necessary to have anything but friendship." "You're fool, Jennifer." "I know." More of the night they told each other not a word about love. The conversations were about urgent matters and problems, about memories of the university and about different films. Nothing can so relax and give strength as a heart-to-heart conversation with a close friend. Jennifer felt happy. She let go of herself and problems, which this evening seemed to become much smaller. * * * The next morning and the ringing alarm clock forced Jennifer to quickly get out of bed. She hastily put on jeans, a dark jacket and, taking the bag with a MacBook, ran out of the room. She didn't want to be late for internship for a minute. Jen came down from the hotel and ran to the subway station. The time on the clock was slow and the train arrived quickly. The girl with pleasure has plunged into the morning rhythm of the metropolis, which was lacking in the little Derry. In the big city nobody cares about you, nobody whispers behind your back and does not let dirty gossip. It was much easier for Jennifer to be in the big city. Maybe it's just a matter of habit. Train raced through the dark tunnels, occasionally illuminated by the lights. There was a rattle and a whoosh of wheels. Because of the high speed of the train swayed from side to side. People around were passionate about their business: someone read a book, someone slept or sat in the phone, listening to music. On the face of Jen flashed a smile: a long time since at the soul was not so easily and quietly! Two metro stations were behind, one was left. The clock hand was nearing nine, and Jen sighed in relief. The first day, fortunately, will be without delay. Often at University, she was late because of his bad sleep or night walks in Brooklyn with friends or with a boyfriend when he was still. Now, as an adult, she didn't want to be late for a possible future job. After all, Jen didn't plan to work all her life in a women's magazine. The train slowed down smoothly and the doors opened. The girl ran out of the train, quickly heading for the exit. Bright sunlight blinded her eyes for a few seconds, and Wright frowned. To the skyscraper, which housed the publishing house, remained a few meters. She noticed a building with numerous advertising signs and screens where one could see different expensive clothing brands. Inside the building everything was decorated in a strict modern style. Beige and buff colors reassuring, directly opposite the entrance were four lifts, in which occasionally people came in. All hurried to work, to their office, as well as Jen. At the entrance there was a reception desk, where she was able to find out what floor is necessary for her office. "Hello, I'm Jennifer Wright", Jen introduced to young red-haired secretary with glasses, sitting at the entrance to the publishing house. "I came for an internship from Derry." "Hi, I'm Katie", smiled the girl, immediately starting to type something on the keyboard. "We're already waiting for you." "Really?" "Everyone already talking about you last week", Katie replied, distracting herself from the computer monitor. "I hope you enjoy working with us. Your article impressed with Mrs. Johnson. She said you had a lot of potential." Jen faintly surprised, not believing his own ears. Really stupid article about the relationship between a man and a woman could impress? However, it looked like the workplace now is Jennifer's. Something suggested that the internship would not take more than the promised week. "Come with me", asked the secretary, and with Jen headed for the snow-white door. Katie opened doors, and Wright seen a large publishing office, done in nice bright colors. Panoramic windows overlooking the river and the old Brooklyn bridge. This view from the eighty-fourth floor was breathtaking. Jen wanted to come closer to take a closer look around the city. She haven't been in skyscrapers, almost on the top floors. But Katie wouldn't let her see the view. The receptionist called Jennifer to herself, and they went on in the office. Here, each employee had his own place. Everyone was engaged in the business. The working atmosphere was in the air, the buzz of conversations did not abate. The girl felt like she starts to like it here. She climbed a small staircase to the door of the study, the walls of which were made of glass. So the head of the office could follow literally every employee. Jen smiled, mentally comparing this study with the predatory eagle's nest, where he saw each of his next victim. Katie gently knocked on the door, and on the other side there was a soft voice: "Come in." "Mrs. Johnson, Jennifer Wright has arrived today", said the secretary. "Who?" quite rudely asked a woman with black hair and in the bright shirt with a simple black pencil skirt. She got distracted from the phone, looking narrow brown eyes on her worker. "You took her on an internship." "Oh, right!" she remembered immediately, and a good-natured smile appeared on her face. The woman rose from the large leather chair and walked over to them. She held out her hand to Jennifer, who shook it with pleasure. The secretary silently withdrew from the study, so as not to interfere with the conversation. "I'm Helena Johnson. And it's good to see you, Jennifer. Ready to get to work?" "Yes, of course", the brunette smiled politely. "Your skills impressed me very much", the head of the magazine honestly admitted. "So I decided for you, Jennifer, to make a small exception. I will reduce the internship time to four days, and if during this time you manage to write a couple of good articles, the place in our large team is yours." The girl raised her eyebrows in surprise, once again not believing her own ears. Inside, she literally jumped with happiness. Jen's joy knew no bounds, so she bravely took Mrs. Johnson by the hand and shaked it. The head of the magazine laughed out loud and added solemnly: "Jennifer, welcome to our magazine!" * * * The first and the second week at work in publishing house for Jennifer began sweeping imperceptibly. Place she, of course, received. And now every day she was doing what she loved: writing articles, picking up new material and has already conducted several interviews. The brunette was happy and content. Emotions she shared with her friends, who have seen now quite often. They also got a job, but not in the specialty. But they liked it, too, so Jen was happy for them. About how everything went well, the girl immediately told her father on the phone. He was sincerely happy for her, said he was waiting for her in the near future in Derry, so she can see how transformed the old granny's house. But Jennifer said nothing. To return to the small town again, she doesn't. Plans in new York came true, and now she wanted to buy an apartment in Brooklyn. An independent life suited her. Chester, knowing the daughter, was not to argue with her and swear. He knew that Jen would definitely find time for him to come. But this time has not yet come. The sitting on the couch in the room, Jen wearily yawned and turned on the TV. At seven o'clock as usual were news. However, Wright didn't really listen, completely immersed in writing another article on her MacBook. Again she yawned, suddenly vaguely heard the message of the speaker: "A five-year-old boy, Jack Tyler, disappeared in the Brooklyn area. According to police, the last time the boy was seen near the waterfront. However, he hasn't yet been found." Jennifer added a little sound. "Also missing are several people in the Queens area. Their photos are presented on the screen. If you met them on the street, please report to the police immediately. Perhaps your information can help in the search for the missing." "It's so terrible..." softly gasped Jennifer, subtracting sound and remembering the faces of the missing. More just like to boy found. Safe and sound. Suddenly Jennifer remembered how she was leaving the hotel in Orono. In the head immediately poped up the image of Robert Grey, whom she tried so hard to forget. It was at the time of her departure at the hotel began some strange fuss. Somehow, the disappearance of people wanted to associate with a strange wealthy prince, much embarrassed Jen. She closed "Word" and went to the browser, where the search box wrote the name of the hotel where she stayed. The girl thought she'd run into a scathing magazine article about how a lost a few people in hotel. However, nothing but the address and services provided with the description of the hotel, could not be found. Apparently, in order not to spoil his own reputation, the head of the hotel decided to hide everything. Or Jennifer just made it all up just to somehow explain the mystery of Robert. She snorted, realizing how foolish it was to accuse a man, she had only known him for a day. Putting the MacBook on the coffee table, the brunette got up from the sofa and went into the bedroom. Tomorrow was another working day, and now it is necessary to have a good sleep before to immerse yourself in the routine and the rhythm of the metropolis. * * * Pain shackled the whole body, and the legs were terribly wet. Looking down, Jen found herself standing ankle-deep in the water. She shivered in the cold and looked around. She stood in the middle of the dark tunnel at one end which was visible a faint light. After a few faltering steps to it, Jennifer immediately winced from the foul smell that hit the nose. It smelled like rot mixed with dampness and different waste. She pressed the sleeve of her jacket to her face, continuing her journey. She thought it was a sewer or a gutter. Occasionally could be heard as somewhere in the distance, water dripping, and the feeling of emptiness and lack of a direct way out of this unpleasant pressured to her. With each step, Jennifer became more and more uncomfortable. But luckily, the tunnel ended, and she was in the center of the drain where were conducted all the pipes. She was unable to contain a quiet gasp of horror that instantly swept over her, when she was enough to see a huge tower, consisting of different children's toys. It stood up to the ceiling and was about ten meters or more high. From it you could see dolls, stuffed toys, wheels of small cars and strollers… Jennifer had a hunch that all of this belonged to the children who had ever gone to Derry. Wright made another step towards the dump, suddenly seeing under the feet of her own bear. Picking up the dirty toy with eye torn off, she felt her heart ache. All childhood bear was next to her, and then she had to leave him at his grandmother's house. When Jen was about to leave with dad, bear completely slipped her mind. They were rushing. And now she felt like a true traitor that left best childhood friend. But the feeling instantly faded into the background, she feeling someone's gaze. Just like Jen felt when she checked into the hotel in Orono. She was ready to turn around and to see someone who been in her thoughts a few days. But no one behind was not, and the unpleasant feeling is still pinned down inside.   "Sweet Jenny", murmured a voice echoing down the drain. " I know why you came here." "Why?" the girl said with her lips, afraid to move. "You, too, want to fly down here", again came the voice, and the body Jen shiver. Something was coming right at her, but she didn't see anything. Sharp claws pierced the neck skin and Jennifer screamed, jumping on the bed in the room bedroom. Heart pounding in her chest, a cold sweat stood on her forehead. The damn dream almost drove her crazy. The girl tried to catch her breath and grabbed the phone that was lying on the bedside table. Before her alarm clock just a few minutes, so no point to go back into the clutches of the nightmare was not. Jen rinsed her face with cool water and felt relief. Irrational fear has finally receded, and she quietly washed her face, starting to get ready for work. In the publishing house she greeted with all new friends and sat down at the desk. Turning on the computer, Jen sighed heavily and looked at her watch. There was a difficult day ahead, and there was still a lot of time before the end of it. She tried to focus on the article, but nothing worked. In the head repeated this voice that seemed so familiar. If Jennifer heard it before, but she couldn't even remember who it belongs. "Why are you so tense?" asked the neighbor Mary, who was sitting literally behind the girl. "Bad dream. Never mind", waved Jen, sighing wearily. "Well, okay. If anything, you can always share it with me." "Thank you", the brunette replied. She really appreciated the care the new friend Mary, but now this care she was useless. Mary was kind and sympathetic, as said all her appearance: good brown eyes, slightly plump face and light brown hair. The girl always dressed in blouses with a variety of cute prints, emphasizing their same colorful skirts. Jen's sure that she could be a good friend. However, the brunette didn't want to get close to anyone. Wright sighed and again tried to concentrate on work. * * *  Finally, the clock stopped at six in the evening, and the girl with peace of mind about she going home. Putting on a burgundy coat and taking the bag, Jennifer left the office and went down the elevator. Once on the street, she noticed that the weather gradually deteriorated. Dark clouds were gathering in the sky, foreshadowing the rain, and a cool wind was rising. That's why she had to hurry. The girl quietly went their usual way to the subway station, this time deciding to cut down on the road through the nearest way. It is this narrow quarter led straight to the descent into the subway. But it was worth she to go into a dark alley with trash cans and nasty smell, like back the echo he heard footsteps. Jen over her shoulder saw a man holding his hands in his pockets, following her. "Maybe he also decided to shorten the path. Calm down, nothing will happen", Jennifer thought nervously, accelerating her step and noticing how the pursuer also accelerated. "Damn!" the girl screamed before to be with the force pressed against the wall. She screamed, but a knife was immediately placed to her throat. "Just try to squeak, baby", the crazy man hissed menacingly, peering into her eyes, "And I'll kill you, gutting all your organs." Jen gulped, trying to figure out how to get out. The cold knife blade touched the skin down from the neck right to the chest. She immediately understood the true intentions of the rapist. The girl felt a pepper spray in her coat pocket, waiting for the right moment to use it. The man pulled time and did not dare to do anything. Jen almost got a trembling hand spray, but it fell out of her hands with a deafening thud falling to the ground. "You're ugly whore!" the madman yelled, putting the blade back to Jen's throat. "Ugh, how rude", protested a familiar male voice, causing Wright and a rapist simultaneously shuddered. "Is that right to treat a lady like that?" They looked at the silhouette of the tall man who was standing at the beginning of the alley. The streetlight hit him right in the back, and it made it impossible to get a good look at his face. But Jennifer seems to have quickly figured out who it was. "Who the hell are you?" the maniac was indignant. "Her boyfriend or something?" The girl silently prayed that the whole circus that lit these two, end as quickly as possible. Hands still trembled treacherously, and eyes were dimmed with tears. Why is everything that's happening right now happening to her? Jen groaned in pain and despair, feeling the blade of the knife almost pierced the skin. "Stay away, or I'll cut her throat!" threatened the rapist, but the Jennifer's savior just giggled with laughter. Wright bit her lower lip to blood, trying to hold back a scream. She closed her eyes, fearing that death was about to overtake her.

#bill skarsgard #megan fox #jenniwise #jennifer x robert #jennifer wright #robert grey #pennywise #it #it movie 2017 #fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic #my fanfic #space dementia #pennywise x reader #robert grey x reader #drama #romantic #love #horror #chapter #my charscter #art #my art

[vampiricalthorns]

His Soulmate

AO3

Warnings: Eating disorders, mentions of alcohol abuse, (slightly graphic) mentions of vomiting

Genre: Angst (with a happy ending)

Word count: 6994

Notes: If you or anyone else you know are going through anything mentioned in this fanfic, please reach out to a medical professional or someone you trust. Don’t read if any of the potential themes upset you.

From the young age of two, Ed had always had a weird taste in his mouth in the evening. A vile flavour that burnt his throat and had him beg his mom for something, anything, to make it stop. When it had first started, she would offer him a glass of milk, because milk was a flavour and tended to help. Naturally, he always refused because, in his opinion, milk was almost worse than the burning.

On the nights where the taste would persist for hours on end, he would be given a sugar cube or a piece of hard candy to suck on. It never removed the taste, but it helped to take the edge off it. One time, Ed accidentally told Al that he got candy, and Al had started crying for the simple fact that he didn’t get any. But then again, at that time, Al hadn’t had any funny tastes in his mouth either.

Their mom had been quick to explain to them that your soulmate to taste every taste you had in your mouth, whether it was actual food or not. It didn’t surprise Ed all that much, because he had funny tastes in his mouth all the time- flavours he didn’t recognise. Once, after trying some of granny Pinako’s coffee, he found out one of the flavours that would usually invade his mouth early in the morning. He had sworn to never drink coffee again after that.

For his birthday that year, he had gotten a small notebook to write all the flavours into. His mom had smiled when she saw him scribble enthusiastically into it and she had ruffled Ed’s hair, telling him that whoever his soulmate was, they were sure a lucky person for getting such a good and invested soulmate like Ed. And Ed has always beamed up at her, ignoring his childish scribbles.

Ed had found it odd that his and Al’s soulmates had never been referred to by genders. It made him wonder if his mom had known. All that heterosexual shit- Ed was fully aware that he was straight as the circles he drew for transmutation arrays, thank you very much.

Ed stared into his notebook, looking through the list he had recognised his soulmate eating or drinking since he’d gotten the notebook all those years ago. There were all kinds of things in there, from coffee to bread to soup to the fucking dreaded whiskey. The sole liquid that had ruined his childhood … apart from the damned Philosopher’s Stone- if that could even be regarded as a liquid, what with its many shapes. Red liquid, and the gold liquid flames that whiskey was. It burnt his throat and made him want to gag- not that it didn’t, but that was beside the point.

At this point, he should probably have gotten a new notebook too, but this one was special to him. Whenever it started to run out of paper, he would transmute more pages into it. The leather cover of it could probably need a small touch-up too, but since leather wasn’t something Ed tended to go out of his way to purchase, he hadn’t yet gotten around to it. But notebooks aside-

Ed sighed and looked at his lunch with distaste. Al was sitting opposite him, reading through some files Ed guessed he’d dug up right before lunch. Right after he had been deemed recovered and his body was back in the works, Alphonse had enlisted in one of the departments within the military as well as working with the Amestrian embassy in Xing.

Ed closed his notebook. He wasn’t particularly hungry, so he didn’t eat, but still, a strong taste of spicy soup filled his mouth. “Hey Al, what’s the soup like today?” It was something he usually asked because Ed knew that Al was still horribly fascinated with the ability to taste again.

Al looked up while downing down another spoonful, careful not to let any of it spill on his notes- which was probably something he was investigating at the moment. From what Ed could read upside down, it looked like something along the lines of some unimportant murder.

“It’s quite strong, but I think you would like it, brother.”

Ed shrugged as his only form for reply and Al looked at him worriedly. “Ed? Are you okay?”

He only looked down onto his now-closed notebook, deep in thought. “Hey, Al…? What’s the chance of someone else eatin’ the ‘xact same soup as us outside of headquarters?”

Al shrugged as if the question wasn’t something terribly important to him. “Pretty low, I suppose. I’ve never had this soup anywhere else but headquarters.”

As Al talked, Ed exhaled heavily. He dug out a pen from his uniform pocket (after the Promised Day he’d slowly taken to wearing the uniform. After all, he wasn’t a rebellious stupid kid anymore, although he still wore the uniform whenever he felt like it, and often only partially. Those pants were surprisingly comfortable dammit) and started to scribble into his notebook. “Remin’ me to never ask for the damn recipe then. I can fuckin’ feel the taste and I haven’t even had any yet.”

He could actually taste it and that sole fact upset him almost as much as his dumb country accent coming back. “Stupid soulmates. Prob’ly works here too if the burnin’ of my mouth is anythin’ to go by.”

Al stared at him as if the sky had just come crashing down on them. “Are you sure, brother? There’s still a possibility that someone else is eating this soup, so you shouldn’t get your hopes up too much about-”

“Shut it,” Ed muttered without looking up from his bowl, as he furiously devoured his lunch. It wasn’t particularly pleasant- military issued lunch rarely was, but he was desperate to get away from the fucking mess hall before he went insane. Suddenly, the bitter taste of coffee overwhelmed his senses and he coughed, accidentally swallowing some of the soup wrongly. He gagged and managed to gesture to Al that he would be back in a bit before he sprinted out of the mess hall, looking for the nearest bathroom as the bile rose in his throat.

Once he returned, Ed went to refill his teacup. It wasn’t a secret that Ed couldn’t stand coffee, not after his unlucky happening with granny Pinako’s serving. Which made him different from the rest of the lot working there, including his brother. A military job and a coffee addiction were basically synonyms. On his way back to the table his brother was at, he caught a glimpse of Roy Mustang talking to Riza with a frown on his face. Stupid bastard.

He sat down across Al again without a word and went back to his attempt at getting his lunch down. For the rest of the lunch hour he didn’t say a word but a brief ‘see ya’ to Al as they went back to their respective parts of the building.

Ed glared down into his notebook, more studying his handwriting rather than the actual words on the page. His handwriting was still shit, but after having six years of relearning how to write with his left hand after the automail surgery it had improved enough that more people than just Al, Winry and stupid Mustang could understand it.

He slumped into his chair and brought out his pen from his pocket before flipping to the right page of his notebook where he’d jotted down the important stuff that had happened on his mission a week ago. The paper meant for his report was already on his desk from his failed attempt earlier in the day. Slowly around Ed, the rest of the team filled in and he heard Mustang complain about some bad taste in his mouth and how his soulmate seemed to apparently throw up often.

He tried to ignore the way the remark set off alarm bells in his head and willed his mind to focus on the report in front of him. It was tedious work and he would rather be somewhere else, figuring out complex arrays or other equations, but he was stuck here at least until he managed to complete the stupid report.

Mindlessly, Ed flipped back to the pages where he wrote down what his soulmate seemed to taste the most. Soup, bread, coffee and luckily not so much recently- whiskey. Even though Ed was over the legal drinking age in Amestris (16) he had never really seen the appeal and his soulmate had long ago lessened the chances of it ever passing Ed’s lips.

He had just flipped back to the right page of his notebook and placed the pen against the paper when stale coffee invaded his mouth. Without thinking, he growled, “What kind o’ motherfuckin’ bastard drinks cold, stale coffee?”

At the exact same time he said it, he heard Roy cough and place a coffee cup back onto his desk. For a second, it felt like time stood still. Then, he looked up and made eye contact with the bastard for a split second before he realised that- fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Ed froze before dropping his pen. Before anyone could say as much as “wait”, he was gone, the tails of his uniform flickering behind him. The door slammed and he was gone.

It took Ed exactly three minutes and thirty-five seconds to run over to Al’s department. He forced himself to stop and walk calmly- uh, as calmly as he could manage at the moment -over to AL’s desk. He held onto the table as he attempted to regain his breath. “We have to leave. I need to get out of Central for a bit. We’re going back to Resembool.”

Al stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “Wait, why?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ed cut him off. “I miss Resembool and I think I need my automail checked over. I think I might have outgrown my leg a bit and it’s making it hard to walk.”

That, as far as Ed was concerned, was a lie. But Al didn’t need to know that. He also didn’t need to know about the fact that his soulmate was the fucking general bastard. Not yet, anyway. Nor the fact that for the second time today, Ed had the urge to empty his guts. Al didn’t know; he didn’t need to know.

But of course, Al wasn’t a complete idiot. He obviously saw how their earlier conversation at lunch had affected Ed, and how pale he was at the moment. And judging by the look he sent his older brother, he knew more than he let on. Ed stared back, challenge written all over his face.

He looks ready to bolt, Al thought, looking at his brother fidgeting with the braiding on his uniform. Ed wasn’t one to be fidgeting and antsy. And then it struck Al- Ed seemed scared. A rare emotion didn’t surface much. But after years of them being together, Al had been present for several of Ed’s nightmares; calling out for their mother, muttering something about not having an ounce of humanity left in him. Another realisation struck him like lightning. His brother, the most caring person he had ever met- rough and honest, sure -was scared to love; scared of being love and Al didn’t know how he could possibly calm his brother down apart from agreeing with him. So he got up and briefly talked to his boss, explaining the situation. It was a partially made up excuse consisting of Ed’s automail issue and some family thing.

Not that it really mattered. At least Ed had (somehow) managed to at least set his day of having his life’s biggest existential crisis as of yet to a Friday afternoon.

  The train ride to Resembool from Central was quiet, with Ed staring blankly out of the window. Al had managed to get his hands on the newspaper from the day before and a bag of bagels from the last station their train had stopped at. The mundanity of reading a newspaper as a leisurely activity rather than looking for important clues to a case was refreshing. But then there was the case of-

“Brother?” Al asked carefully as he folded the newspaper and placed it on the train seat next to him. “What triggered this flight response from you this time? It seems to be affecting you quite a lot.”

Ed looked up and Al was suddenly struck with the fact that Ed hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since they left Central almost 18 hours ago. Al had tried to make him eat several times, but Ed had either flat-out ignored it or muttered some excuse that he wasn’t hungry. Of course, Al saw right through the lie but judging but how …unstable Ed seemed at the present moment, he was not about to argue.

Ed sighed while biting his thumb slightly- a nasty habit he had picked up years and years ago. Al knew it was because his brother had an odd tendency of managing to clear his thoughts easier with pain added to the equation. He had tried to make it stop, but his attempts so far had been little more than futile.

“I found m’soulmate,” Ed whispered, his voice hoarse from the lack of use the last few days. “So I gotta run. Run away from’ere. Just- until’m certain.” A frown covered his face. “I jus’ wish- I … this stupid taste of fuckin’ whiskey. I’m never gonna have a fuckin’ drink in my entire life.”

Al leant closer, ignoring the whiskey comment. “But isn’t finding your soulmate a good thing, Brother?”

The question was quickly shot down with a shake of Ed’s head and Al could see his eyes before they closed for a second. Dull. Hopeless.

“Trust me, Al, s’not good at all. Trust me, it would’ve been better for both of us if I never found out at all. I- I shoul’never’ve gone lookin’ in the firs’place. What was I thinkin’ back then? Thinkin’ it could end well ‘tween-”

The muttering trailed off after that and Al sighed. He opened his mouth to respond, but Ed yet again beat him to it with a shake of his head. He did that a lot nowadays. “No, Al. Don’t. Nothing anyone says righ’now can make the situation better. Don’t even bother tryin’.” And then he stopped looking even remotely in Al’s direction and resumed his very thorough observation of the landscape flashing past them.

  Once back in Resembool, Ed didn’t spare a glance for granny Pinako or Winry as he trudged up the stairs towards the guest bedroom. Al looked after him for a moment before gesturing to the two Rockbell’s to sit at the table with him. He took a second to judge their expressions and formulate his words. “Ed’s almost certain that he found his soulmate. He seems to think that it’s the end of his life.”

Winry leant on her hand, elbow firmly planted on the table. “Oh. Do you know who it is? Did he tell you? Because with his reaction, it seems to be some kind of crazy psychopathic serial killer he’s got himself tied up with.”

Al shook his head and looked down at his folded hands. “All we know is that it’s a member of the military that works in our building. I have my suspicions, naturally. We figured it’s almost for certain someone in the military during lunch yesterday when Ed got the taste of the exact lunch we had before even taking the first bite. It was a pretty rare type of soup. I’ve never had it anywhere else, not even when we’ve stayed for a prolonged period of time in East City or up in the North with the military. Then, not even half an hour after lunch’s over, he’s in my department asking rather desperately to leave Central and come here with some excuse that ‘he needs his automail checked out’. I think he just needed to get away.” Al paused for a second as he watched granny Pinako stuff her pipe and light it with a match. “We were only in our apartment long enough for us to change out of our uniforms since it would be suspicious to travel with them.”

Winry looked down at the wooden table and Al felt bad for her. She’d found her soulmate rather easily at age 15 and so had Al on the Promised Day, but Ed…

“I’m sure he’ll calm down and understand soon enough,” Granny Pinako said, “It’s always a shock the first time you realise who it i-”

She was interrupted by a loud thud from above and Al jumped out of his seat and raced up the stairs. He leant against the bathroom door, hearing retching and gasps and sobs from within. Al carefully knocked on the door, forcing on an expression of calm brotherly worry. “Brother? Are you okay in there?”

He heard a sniffle and some shuffling before the door opened a minute later, revealing a tired-looking Ed wiping the rest of his tears away. The top of his shirt looked wet from Ed probably rinsing his face under the sink to lessen the post-crying puffiness. He didn’t look up when Al placed a hand on each of his shoulders and drew him into a tight and comforting hug. Closeness. Comfort.

The action made Ed freeze for a second before he wrapped his arms around his younger (and sadly, taller) brother. Then, a sniffle and then another one and slowly, the tears started to soak through Al’s shirt. Behind him, Al could hear Winry come up the stairs. “Granny said she would make some food. You must be hungry from the long trip.”

Ed pulled away from Al and just nodded. He was quiet for the entire meal save for the few moments where he sniffled and proceeded to stare into his soup bowl. Fuckin’ soup. The thing that had started the entire chaos that had shaken his world into something unrecognisable. Once he was done- or not done at all, as well over two-thirds of his food was left, Ed picked up the bowl and spoon. He brought it over to the sink and filled the bowl with water so it could soak overnight. Then, still wordless, he left them for the silence of the guest bedroom. When Al joined him a few minutes later, there was no sound from Ed’s bed.

  The next few days were uneventful, to say the least. Ed, much to Al’s concern, barely ate or drank at all and the only times he left the bed was for either the meals where he would stare mindlessly onto the table or his excessive bathroom trips.

In all honestly, Al wanted nothing more than shake his brother violently in the hope that it would rattle Ed’s ability to function as a human being back to normal. He wanted Ed to be happy again, to make him take a goddamn shower, to go outside with Den or to eat a full meal without it looking like it made Ed physically sick. Which it seemed that it actually did.

He had heard Ed in the bathroom at night, the terrible sounds of gagging tearing through the thin wall separating the rooms. Al knew that Ed thought he was asleep during his nightly escapades, but Al always snuck out of bed to refill the glass of water Ed always kept on his nightstand. He was always back in bed before his older brother was back in bed.

The Saturday afternoon exactly one week after they had arrived in Resembool, while Al was helping granny Pinako with making dinner, there was a firm knock at the door. Al went to open it and smiled mildly. “Hello, General Mustang. What brings you here?” He gestured for Roy to come in.

Roy stepped in after Al’s invitation and pulled off his black overcoat to reveal a white collared shirt and a pair of loose slacks- clothes intended for travelling while still remaining formal. After all, his rank right now didn’t accommodate for much lazy behaviour in the public’s eye.

“One of my subordinates suddenly ran off a week ago and forgot his notebook. I haven’t heard anything from him since and since it’s the weekend I thought I perhaps should make a direct housecall to the Rockbell household to see if I can find him,” Roy explained with a sigh as he hung his coat on the coat hanger. From what Al had already picked up, he seemed rather tired, with dark bags under his eyes. Al stepped towards the kitchen. “Would you perhaps like a cup of tea, sir?”

Before Roy had the chance to reply, he heard the sound of someone gagging and a door upstairs slamming. A moment later his mouth filled with the vile taste of bile, making his eyes widen. He coughed and forced his expression back into a calm mask of pleasant worry as he turned to Al.

“Did your brother by any chance catch a stomach bug, Alphonse?” Roy managed to get out before the flavour yet again erupted across his taste buds. He staggered for a bit and rested a hand on the wall next to the coat hanger to stabilise himself. It felt like puke was raising in his throat, although, logically, he knew it wasn’t the case.

Al shook his head. “I don’t think so, sir. I … I think Ed’s been trying to make himself sick on purpose the last couple of days. You see, General, brother thinks he’s found his soulmate, but it seems to be destroying him from the inside out and it feels like he’s trying to punish himself for a choice fate made for him. We know it’s someone from the military. Is that why-?.”

Roy let go of the wall and took a brief second to compose himself. “I know he’s found his soulmate, Alphonse. I suppose...” he trailed off, staring at the staircase that would lead him to Ed. That would lead to him to another human punishing themselves for something out of their control. He sighed at the realisation and turned back to the younger brother, a soft (fake) smile covering his face. “Would it be possible for me to talk to him by any chance?”

Al nodded and headed towards the staircase. “I guess he would be in the bathroom, judging by what he just did, so be quiet. He’s been pretty jumpy the last couple of days and I don’t want him to accidentally take a tumble down the stairs.”

As Roy made his way up the stairs he held onto the railing and felt the small bumps and dents in the polished wood. It seemed to be marks made by an automail arm gripping it tightly on multiple occasions.

He had just made it to the top of the staircase when the first door on the right opened and Ed emerged from the bathroom, with bloodshot eyes and messy, unbraided hair. The sight of Ed made Roy remember all the times last week when he had felt the taste of bile on his tongue. In the beginning, it hadn’t been so odd- after all, his soulmate could have just caught a bug. Things like that happened to everyone, after all. But when it felt like barely any food had passed his lips apart from small servings of crackers and probably inhumane amounts of water to curb the hunger, Roy got worried.

Then Ed stopped in his tracks, having noticed Roy and he stepped backwards, looking like he wanted nothing more than for the bathroom to swallow him. Before it could happen, Roy made a dash towards Ed and pulled him into a hug, something so out of character for him that it actually made Ed gasp in surprise as he stood still as a rod until the older man released him.

Then Roy glared at him and put on The Voice he only used when he was angry or stressed or fucking needed to get a message across. It was laced with authority and an attitude of ‘don’t question me’. “You can’t just run off from Central and skip work just because you found your soulmate, Edward. You’re an adult now, have some fucking sense of responsibility. And from what Alphonse told me once I arrived here, you’ve been barely eating for a week and forcefully making everything come up again as a way to punish yourself.”

Ed glared right back at him. “And what if ‘t wasn’t on purpose and I jus’ caugh’some fuckin’ bug?”

Roy grabbed his flesh hand pulled it up, earning an offended ‘hey!’ from Ed. He turned it towards the owner of the hand and pointed out the small wounds and callouses on the knuckles. “You’ve got pretty clear traces of Russell’s sign, Edward. Making yourself puke your guts out every time you feel bad or guilty for something is not the way to go. The behaviour you express is a literal fucking eating disorder. And even if you don’t give a fuck about it, how do you think your soulmate feels when he repeatedly has the damn fucking taste of puke in his mouth all the damn time?”

Roy let go of Ed’s hand and clenched his fists in an attempt to control the emotions flaring up in him like fireworks. He was too angry to notice how Ed’s accent was inconsistently messed up. “Did you maybe for one fucking second think about how I feel?”

By the end of his small speech, Al was standing on the top step of the staircase and Winry had emerged from the automail workshop to see what was going on.

Ed didn’t say anything, his expression flushed with guilt. He glanced down at his hand, letting his gaze rest on his calloused knuckles. Russel’s Sign; commonly observed in people who repeatedly made themselves throw up, but also in practitioners of certain types of martial arts. He looked up but didn’t meet Roy’s eyes. “I’m sorry … Roy.”

Roy only placed a hand on Ed’s automail shoulder, his smile the same as any he would have given a member of his team- controlled and calm. “How about we try to get some food in you, Edward?”

Al joined them downstairs and made some sandwiches for the three of them. Then, after that, he went on about making tea. Roy noticed, with a small smile, that Al seemed to enjoy the simple acts of making food, from boiling water to filling the teapot with leaves. “So, Alphonse, you’re fully recovered now? No major side effects?”

Al sent a pleasant smile in Roy’s direction. “I get dizzy easily. My blood pressure is low  because my body isn’t yet fully accustomed to the fact that I’m a lot taller than I used to be. I’m mostly back to 100%. Sadly with all the perks, I’ve also regained my pollen allergies. You win some, you lose some, I suppose.”

“Yeah I suppose so,” Roy agreed. “Adulthood tends to bring about some nasty allergies that you never thought you would get, among other health problems.”

“O’course you’d know, bastard,” Ed muttered. “Talkin’ from experience, huh?”

Roy sent him a pointed look. “I will have you know, Edward, that I in fact am not that old, but considering the time I’ve been with the military I’ve been through quite a big amount of various medications, some of which I only started having a reaction to in later years.”

“Is there anything that would be necessary for us to know for the duration of your stay, sir?” Al asked as he set three cups on the table and poured the tea through a strainer into each of the cups. “If I’m right in the assumption that you will be staying here as long as me and Brother?”

“I will stay, yes, if it’s not a bother to the Rockbell’s,” Roy replied smoothly as he watched Ed scoop inhuman amounts of sugar into his tea. So that’s where the sweet flavour always came from in the morning. “And no, I haven’t had any negative reactions to over the counter medications such as for example paracetamol. And I doubt I would suddenly develop an infection requiring antibiotics. In that case, things would get interesting.”

He let a smile slip. “Although, I have given the hospital quite a fuss because of my complete intolerance for Valium and as I mentioned, penicillin. The two of them, not considering sleeping pills or pain relievers, are the most common medications used in relation to military staff, after all.”

Al sat down by the table and let a look of fondness take over his features as he watched Ed’s attempt to get diabetes. “Valium? Anti-anxiety, isn’t it? Hmm, yeah I suppose that makes sense. And brother-” he said, tone now stern. “You will eat too.”

Ed sipped his tea, obviously ignoring his younger brother and Roy sighed. “If you tell me there’s more than two spoonfuls of sugar in that tea, Edward, I swear-”

Ed sent him a challenging look. “Consider it revenge for all the coffee you’ve ever had.”

Roy didn’t argue with that.

  After the meal (that had taken them way longer than strictly necessary due to bickering), Ed got dressed and took Roy out on a walk around parts of Resembool. Winry had removed his automail leg to adjust it, turning his half-assed excuse to actual truth (“You have actually grown a bit taller, alchemy freak”) and he was stumbling along with the prosthetic he always wore when his actual leg needed maintenance. It had been quite a while since he last had used it since he was way better at keeping his leg intact than his arm. The only setback with the gaps of time between the uses- he now required crutches to get around without looking like a new-born fowl on rollerblades.

Roy sighed and watched Ed hobble along the gravel path, the crutches making small oval marks in the road. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. “So, it seems that we happen to be soulmates.”

Ed didn’t reply right away, and when he did, it had no actual connection to the question Roy had just asked. “Since you found out and’ve dealt with the taste of my puke for years, I guess you owe me ‘n ‘xplanation as to why I’ve grown up with the taste of fuckin’ whiskey in my mouth ev‘ry night, robbin’ me of sleep ‘cause the taste would make me so fuckin’ nauseous. And then, after the war in Ishval was over and Winry’s parents didn’t come back, I tasted it even more often, during the fuckin’ day, Roy. You tell me that it’s a bad thing that I punished myself the way I did for fuckin’ causin’ my brother to suffer the way he did when it turns out my soulmate’s a fuckin’ dumbass alcoholic.”

For a moment it felt like all the air in Roy’s lungs had been punched out of him. “I’m not - not anymore at least. For a time I was. I did drink a very unhealthy amount for some time. I still do- I’m not going to lie. I still drink, but I don’t drown my problems in it anymore. Now, I mainly only drink in the company of others because it’s considered polite or when I’m taking a quiet evening to unwind with a good book.”

Ed let out an exhale and sat down on a patch of grass by the road and watched Roy do the same. He looked down at his mismatched legs. “Even though Al’s got his body back … I still feel guilty about takin’ it from him in the firs’place. I couldn’t deal with how unfair it was … so I started m’self sick. Because- if Al couldn’t eat, then … then why should I? I- I know that it sounds messed up and it made me feel really guilty when we found out that my body and Al’s body on the other side of the gate was connected. I tried to stop. ‘specially up in the North. But I couldn’t let go of the fact that I manipulated my brother into somethin’ illegal and dangerous and made’im sacrifice more than me.”

Ed paused. “Sorry, I’m not really that good with words and now I’m just rambling. ‘N my accent’s actin’ up and it’s not even a good one.”

Roy nodded and looked over at the younger man. “It’s okay, Edward. I find your accent endearing.”

Ed nodded in return and met Roy’s eyes for a split second before looking away. “Anyways, then the Promised Day happened and we were all suddenly settled and I couldn’ really cope with being still, so I went back. Back to- to punishin’ myself. I thought I was broken. Al found his soulmate. I didn’. I knew I was gay and I knew- fuck -I knew I was in love with you. And I hated it. Hated every second of how a look at you would make my heart flutter. I couldn’t stand the thought of- of being attracted to you and - fuck I dunno what I’m even saying at this point. I jus’-guess I messed. And I still do.”

Roy placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get through it- together if you will. We both have our own demons that we are dealing with. And honestly-” he let a small smile tug at his lips. “Having you yell at me for drinking sounds like a better alternative than Hawkeye more than once pointing her gun at me.”

A small laugh escaped Ed and he slowly stretched out a hand to rest on Roy’s thigh. It was a comforting gesture, Roy realised. There weren’t any romantic emotions behind it. Ed nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I guess that sounds like a better alternative.”

Roy looked down at his hands before pushing himself up off the ground, brushing off any dirt that may have latched onto his clothes. Then he turned around and saw Ed with a flush across his cheeks, accompanied by a frustrated frown. “Can- can you maybe help me up?”

He couldn’t help grin as he placed his arms under Ed’s and pulled, making sure not to interrupt any of the mechanics in his shoulder. He watched Ed wobble for a moment as Roy picked up the crutches from the ground and handed them to him. He watched Ed stare down at the ground, muttering a weak ‘thanks’. Then, in a stronger voice, “Let’s go back. Walkin’ with this leg is a fuckin’ pain. The only good thing about it s’that it weighs less than my actual one.”

Roy followed the limping figure in front of him, now interested. “There’s something that’s intrigued me for quite some time. Do you have an idea of how much your automail weighs? Since it is metal, it must be quite heavy.”

Ed stopped for a second to rub the dents the crutches had made in his palms. The motion made the scars across Roy’s palms twinge in sympathy. “I’ve never known ‘xactly how much. It was never really a priority so we never weighed it, but it’s above 20 kg per limb.”

Roy looked over and watched Ed’s neck, observing the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders. He was only wearing a tank top, making it easy to see exactly how the automail affected him. “That seems like it would be quite strenuous on your shoulders and back. Do you suffer a lot from back pain?”

Ed shrugged dismissively. “Yeah. But I’m used to dealin’ with it. I can’t take most types of medicines or painkillers anymore though. Not after the automail recovery period. I was on almost continuous morphine in prob’ly unsafe amounts and it only took t’edge off of the pain. But it was the only way I could recover from the automail surgery within in the year period I had set m’self. A damaged liver was worth it.”

“You were desperate,” Roy noted as he placed a careful hand on Ed’s back to support him up the hill to the house. “I remember, all those years ago, I made you jump on the 9 am train instead of the one you planned to take to give you an extra chance to prove yourself to become a state alchemist. I placed you in a lot of danger that day. It probably did hurt to fight like that only- what -a couple days after you were deemed recovered?”

Ed gave another shrug and Roy could feel the muscles in his back tense. “‘Course. You saw me at the station afterwards, didn’t you? Firs’time I was properly scared about my ports and automail being rejected by my body. But I hid it and the pain settled after a couple days of taking it easy. But all the repairs I’ve gone through with for my damn automail- I’m genuinely surprised none of my nerves has fucking frayed yet.”

“Is that an actual concern to be worried about?”

“Nah, not unless I majorly fuck up the port mechanics.”

Roy laid a hand on the doorknob but he didn’t twist it open. “After we ate, I want you to stay with me, Edward. I would like for you not to puke your guts out the second you can. No- honestly. And-” Roy leant down and touched his forehead to Ed’s. “-in case you’re still beating yourself up about being my soulmate, there’s absolutely no reason for that.”

The blush that covered Ed’s face then was adorable, and Roy couldn’t help but smile at it.

  That night, they went out on yet another walk- though this time to the graveyard so that Ed could pay his respects to his parents. Roy stood silently in the background after helping Ed crouch to the ground in front of the grave marked as ‘Trisha Elric and Van Hohenheim’. The scene strangely reminded him of how Riza had stood behind him when he visited Maes and reversed; how he had stood with Riza in front of her father and his old master’s grave.

On their way back next to a small lake, Ed stared wistfully at it. “Soulmates are s’posed to be in love. Do- d’you love me, Roy?”

The question made Roy think, plunging deep into the emotions he hadn’t allowed himself to feel for years. Then, he too looked at the lake (though in all honesty, he was looking at Ed out of the corner of his eyes, although Ed didn’t need to know that. He probably did know, though.) “Not yet. But I admire you greatly. I think- if we ever were to get closer, to get to know more about each other than just work relations, yes, I think I would grow to love you. Love is built on knowledge and trust, both of which we currently lack an adequate amount of at the present time.”

The setting sun seemed to glow brighter after his statement and Roy turned his head to properly look at Edward. He noticed the golden glow dancing over his soulmate’s hair like flames and the golden eyes flickering like liquid gold. He watched Ed move both crutches to lean against a nearby tree before stumbling over to where Roy was standing with his hands in his pockets, watching the calm scene in front of him. He smiled gently at the younger man. “What?”

Ed yet again flushed, red spreading over his cheeks and down his neck. “Nothin’, you bastard. I jus’-”

He trailed off and placed a hand on Roy’s arm to stabilise himself. “Those damn crutches hurt my hands, so I thought I’d use you for t’only thing you’re good at- bein’ leant on. And my hands are cold and you’re not.”

“I would have almost believed that if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s 20 degrees Celsius (~68F) outside. Besides, one of your arms can’t even feel temperature. If you wanted to be close to me, you could have just said so,” Roy said with a gentle smile, moving his hand to wrap around Ed’s waist.

Ed let out an annoyed sound. “I don’t say stuff like that. I’m not good with words and you fuckin’ know that.”

“Now, now, no need to be rude, Fullmetal.”

“I can be however fuckin’ rude I want and it’s not like you don’t swear.”

Roy stared up at the setting sun, thinking heavily. “Touché, Fullmetal. Now, how about we go back? It’s starting to get chilly and I don’t want to have to carry you.”

Ed stared up at him. “Carrying me? You can’t fuckin’ carry me. Are you kidd- ah?!”

Roy grinned, watching the smaller man in his arms. He stepped over to the tree and grabbed the crutches. Then, he walked back onto the path towards the Rockbell residence, ignoring the annoyed cries of ‘fuck you you fuckin’ bastard’ and ‘let me down’ coming from the heavy bundle of human in his arms.

By the time they were on the porch, Ed had calmed down and had- it seemed to have fallen asleep. Winry looked up as they entered and covered her mouth to stop the snicker from leaving her mouth. “Oh my- he’s done it again. Al, he’s managed to do it again. Ed’s found yet another improbable place to fall asleep.”

Al stepped up from the kitchen and let a grin slip onto his face, though it didn’t defend the dangerous tone of his voice. “I hope he’s in good hands, Mustang. That’s my brother and you better treat him well.”

Roy only glanced down at the sleeping bundle in his arms. “Don’t worry, I will.”

He would treat him well.

His soulmate.

My ko-fi

My ask box

#royed #edward elric #roy mustang #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #soulmate au #angst #alphonse elric #winry rockbell #pinako rockbell #eating disorders

[flutterby-affect]

Good Things Don’t Last Forever -- Jason Todd x Reader, Platonic!Roy Harper x Reader

First off, I’m not sorry for what you’re about to read. It is arguably one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Secondly, this part got a little away from me. I didn’t mean for it to be so long, but here we are! Thirdly, I do not write smut. I just don’t. I’ll read it every once in a while, but I do not write it. This part is borderline lime, but not smut.

Now with all of that out of the way, enjoy my dears! And try not to hate me!!

Tagging @lovingmytelevision, @posiey, @miraisnotavailable, @soepicsokim, @epickimmie, @themortallife

WARNING! Fluff ahead! And slight lime? Also, angst. There is angst. Prepare your hearts loves!! Might be some adult themes too.

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Word Count: 1369

“He’s treating you right, right?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “Yes Roy, Jason is a perfect gentleman when we’re together.”

“I never thought I’d hear you say ‘Jason’ and ‘perfect gentleman’ in the same sentence.”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips at his words.

Roy had been the first person you’d called after Jason dropped you off a few weeks ago. He was over the moon that the two of you had worked things out. Once he saw the lovely…ahem…gift that Jason left on you, he’d jumped into over protective big brother mode. It didn’t matter that you two weren’t blood related, you and Roy had been through thick and thin together and he wasn’t about to let a guy mistreat you. Especially not your soulmate.

“When is Jade supposed to be here?”

“Soon, I hope.” Roy glanced at his watch in thought. “She seemed pretty reluctant to come, but she finally agreed.”

“What did you have to promise her?”

A deep blush crossed Roy’s cheeks. “Things.”

“Right…I’m not gonna ask for you to elaborate.”

He shot you a grateful look.

Twenty minutes later and you found yourself in an upscale restaurant with Jason sitting on your right and Jade and Roy across from you. You could tell Jade felt uncomfortable in this setting. She kept fidgeting and glancing around the room, no doubt mapping out possible exits should she need one. The ninja wore a beautiful green dress that showed plenty of skin and left little to the imagination. This also meant it was difficult for her to carry multiple weapons with her. You knew she had at least one weapon on her. She didn’t go anywhere without something sharp and pointy.

Roy and Jason were dressed similarly in nice suits and ties. While Roy had you to help him with his hair, Jason had opted to not ask Alfred to do his. It was still as shaggy and unkempt as ever. Just the way you liked it.

You wore a (F/C) halter dress that tied around your neck in an elegant bow. It hugged your body in all the right places and you knew it was driving Jason crazy. His hand was laying high on your thigh under the table. Your (H/C) hair was up in a beautiful half up, half down style with the bits that were down curled and cascading down your back. Enough of your hair was pulled back that your neck was exposed, another thing driving Jason insane. You knew he wanted to kiss your neck and leave his mark there, but given the current company and location he refrained.

“You’re being awfully restrained tonight.” You whispered to the dark-haired male teasingly.

He growled low in his throat. “You’re gonna pay for this later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

The dinner went a lot better than any of you were expecting. No one was rude or tried to start anything and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jade had a genuine smile on her face; a sight that pleasantly surprised you. You knew this whole evening was outside her comfort zone, but she was trying for Roy. You could respect that.

After Roy and Jason had a small argument over who would pay the bill, the four of you made your way out of the restaurant. They all waited for the valet to bring their respective cars around and made small talk.

“You’re good for him.” Jade suddenly whispered in your ear.

“You think so?” You glanced briefly at the two men who were playful shoving one another. “I’m just glad that he’s happy. I’m glad that we’re happy. For once in my life, I feel like things are going right.”

Jade nodded in understanding. “I get that. Just remember (Y/N), good things don’t last forever. Especially in our line of work.”

You opened your mouth to respond when the valet brought Jason’s, or in this case Bruce’s, car to where you all stood. The man got out of the car and went back to his post. You gave Jade a small smile and pecked Roy on the cheek before letting Jason pull you away. He opened the passenger door and helped you into the car. Once both of you were in your seats and had your seatbelts on, Jason pulled away from the curb and turned to head toward your apartment.

“Any other plans for tonight?”

Jason scowled playfuly at you. “You know damn well what we’re doing tonight.”

“Oh, I know.” You let a catlike smirk grace your red lips. “Just reminding you.”

He snorted at your snarky remark. Taking his right hand off the wheel, Jason placed it on your thigh and squeezed it. You felt a shiver run down your spine at the contact. The desire and attraction was palpable between the two of you. How you’d both managed to keep it together all through dinner was astonishing.

Jason whipped into the extra parking spot of yours outside the apartment complex. He cut the engine off and then attacked your lips without warning. You moaned in delight against his lips as you let your hands knot themselves in his hair. The hand that had previously been on your thigh moved further and Jason slipped it under the slit in you dress. Another moan slipped from you as his hand inched up further and further.

The shrill sound of sirens broke the atmosphere that had settled around you two.

You pulled away from Jason and glanced outside the car. “Do you think you should…?”

“They’ll call if I’m needed.”

As if on cue, Jason’s phone rang incesently in the cup holder. You both groaned in irritation at the timing of it all.

“Every damn time…” Jason growled in anger as he moved away from you and answered the damn thing. “Yeah? Fine, I’ll be there in ten.”

You adjusted your hair from its disheveled state and made sure your dress hadn’t ridden up during your make out session with Jason. “I should go. Don’t want you getting in trouble with the big man.”

“I’m sorry (Y/N). This isn’t how I wanted this evening to end.”

“I know.” You gave him a rueful smile. “but we knew that this would happen. Call me when you get done.”

Jason sighed heavily before nodding. He leaned over and placed a sweet kiss to your slightly bruised lips. You savored the familiar taste of him then let yourself pull away first. You bid him goodbye and slipped out of the car. Jason stayed in the parking lot until he saw you enter the lobby of your building. He put the car in drive and sped out of the parking lot.

You took your time getting to your apartment. Fishing out your keys, you found the correct one and unlocked your door.

It was dark as you stepped into your apartment. You flicked on the nearest light as you made your way through the hallway. Slipping out of your heels, you reached up and took the barrette out of your hair allowing it to fall loosely behind you. You ran a tired hand gently over your face completely ignoring the fact that you were wearing makeup.

“I would’ve expected the soulmate of a vigilante to be more aware of their surroundings.”

You whipped your head around to search for the owner of the voice that had just spoken to you. A heavy object made contact with the back of your head. Pain radiated through your head. You stumbled forward clutching your throbbing head. Your vision became clouded with black dots as you tried to focus on the intruder.

“Hm…” The voice spoke up again. “You’re tougher than I thought. No matter, I’ll finish my objective.”

“W-Who…? What are you…?”

A loud bang cut through the air and an agonizing pain filled your gut. You gasped for air as your body collapsed to the floor. Shakily, you placed a hand to your stomach. Your fingers met a wet substance that your rapidly fading consciousness registered as blood.

As your eyes slid shut, your mind wandered back to the words that Jade said to you earlier that evening.

Good things don’t last forever.

#dc #@dc comics #dc imagine #jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x re #reader insert #roy harper #platonic roy harper x reader #roy harper x jade nguyen #red arrow x chesire #red arrow #chesire #fluff #angst #slight lime #all the feels #cliff hangers #sorry not sorry #prepare your hearts #feels ahead #i-write-what-i-want #part five #soulmates #soulmate au #adult themes #innuendos #don't hate me #suspense

[ainchaseseiker]

More Modern world Au, mostly dlrg

•Roy sometime’s ask his friend Blazing heart to babysit Blesse when he has a date. Cue to Blaze interviewing the small child about her brother’s relationship.

•Ria is everywhere! She stalks Dread and Roy when the two go on a date and takes pictures. Abysser stops her from being so nosy and confiscates the pictures. Abysser will never admit that he kept them for himself.

•Lili is a sneaky little child, and Ria’s partner in crime when Dread and Roy are in the picture. Papa Abysser is seriously thinking of saving his daughter from his employee.( “She is a bad influence” he says dramatically, “no im not”.Ria grinned playfully).

•When teaching music was not enough to support him and Blesse anymore Roy finally resigned himself to work in the bakery. Abysser is more than happy to give him a job, cue to Abysser later pumping his fist and saying “yes!” When no one is looking. His ship has reached land!

• Blaze went to the bakery one time and saw Roy and Dread by the counter. The redhead looked at Dread for a moment then nodded and said to Roy: “You have good taste bud.”

•Cue to Roy blushing madly and stuttering while waving his arms around. Ria is cackling. Ria is always cackling. Lili suddenly screamed.“THE COOKIES ARE BURNING!!” Thank God Abysser wasn’t at the bakery that day.

•Roy’s former music partner Erblu also went to the bakery one time and was surprisef to see Roy there before smiling as the two of them chatted by the table over a cup of tea and cookies.

• Erblu now goes to the bakery regularly because (1) the food there is delicious and (2) so he can catch up with Roy and tell him about what’s happening now, Roy in turn smiles contently as he listens to his friend.

• Cue to jealous Dread who hugs Roy from behind and buries his face in the other’s shoulder with an angry pout after Erblu leaves. But Roy the dense idiot doesn’t know and goes on with his life.

•Ria slaps herself at this and finally takes matters into her own hands. She takes Erblu away one time and tells him about what’s happening. Erblu apologizes and offers to help. He never knew about Roy’s relationship. And it makes him feel awful for what he accidentaly done.

•The next time Erblu is in the bakery, he asks about Roy’s life this time. Roy is surprised but shrugs and tells him. Erblu starts dropping subtle hints, when Roy still doesn’t get it, he facepalms and straight up tells him that Dread is jealous.

•Dread can’t take it anymore when he saw them that time and stomped towards the kitchen. It was deathly quiet after that. Lili stopped drawing. Ria paused in writing an order from someone who called and gave a worried look. Erblu sighs and shoves Roy towards the kitchen and tells him to talk to Dread.

•Dread ignores Roy when he went inside the kitchen. Roy keeps quiet for a while before softly asking if he’s jealous. He’s suddenly slammed to the wall by Dread who stares intensely at him and said so what if he was. Roy shivered a bit at that. He’ll never admit that Dread was scary that time.

•Dread suddenly stopped with wide eyes and immediately apologized, hugging Roy. Roy is very confused at what just happened but soothes his boyfriend with soft words. Roy then said that it’s fine and that he’s not leaving Dread for Erblu.

•When the two came out of the kitchen Blesse was there with Blaze, Blesse immediately kicked Dread in the shin.“Stop hurting big brother Roy!” She pouted. Erblu laughs and scolds Blesse lightly.

•Dread apologized to Erblu for his behavior but the other man waved it off. Erblu then takes his leave with the promise to come back again.

• Little Blesse was secretly feeling lonely all this time and misses her big brother. She told Blaze about this when the redhead was babysitting her. Blaze is touched that Blesse trusts her enough to tell her about this and secretly promised to help the little girl in her heart

•Blaze started to bring Blesse straight to the bakery after she fetches her from school so Blesse can spend time with her brother. Blaze is worried when Blesse just takes a seat quietly beside her and Lili and doesn’t move to greet her brother.

•Cue to Blaze talking this out with Ria and brewing a plan. Later when closing time came, Roy thanked Blaze for taking care of Blesse but was confused when Blaze frowned at him.

•On the way home, Roy realized he wasn’t spending as much time as he used to with Blesse and mentally scolded himself before asking Blesse how was school today. Blesse just shrugged and looked ahead as she walked. Roy felt his heart ache at her subtle coldness. He asked if he did something wrong which made Blesse stop walking.

•Blesse sniffled softly and said that she’s fine, it’s not like Roy would notice because he’s with Dread and busy with work. Roy’s eyes widened and he immediately goes down on his knees, turns his sister around and hugs her, whispering apologies and promises.

•Blesse sniffs quietly and hugs her brother back meekly asking to be carried. Roy is happy to oblige and make it up to her sister as they went home, issue solved.

•Blaze was ecstatic when she learned that the siblings made up and practically threw a party. Also, she brings Blesse straight to the bakery after she picks her up from school.

•There weren’t that many customers in the bakery before Roy worked there. As a result, only a few people were needed for the rare custoners. So the staff is only made up of Ria and Dread along with Abysser if he’s free. Don’t forget Roy.

•Abysser works in a weapon’s company. The second floor of the bakery is his and Lili’s house. Lili likes to spend time downstairs with Ria who she came to see as a mother and Dread who became her big brother. Literally. They look alike!

•Abysser is 29, same with Ria. Blaze is only a few months younger than Roy. Erblu is 25.

•Since Roy started to work at the bakery, it’s as if change came with him. Customers were still low but significantly more than before. This is because of Erblu and Blaze. Erblu because he kept pestering his friends to go try the sweets there, he dragged Arme with him once. Blaze recommended the cafe for her brother Rune who wanted a place to hang out with his friends.

•The elgang (minus lu, Ciel, Elesis and Ain) are now the most frequent customers. They’re in college. Rune, Aisha and Chase are in their first year. Rena and Raven are in their last year. Ara and Add are in their second year.

•I’ll try to fit all of the 2nd job Characters in these stories.For now though, I can’t decide which Class to fit in first. Also, I don’t know their fanon names of certain characters so forgive me for errors.

•Esper is that one customer that buys out all the cookies after Rune recommended the bakery to him. His dormmates Lusa and Masi now fight him and each other to buy the cookies first. Dread is amused at this. Roy is not, he now makes sure that there are enough cookies for Esper, Lusa and Masi. He keeps their share seperated and lies if the other asks if there’s more. He also adds a cup of coffee to their order. The Adds couldn’t be more happy, their saltiness tones down significantly.

•The classes that are in college are in the following: RS, IS, LK, DC, TT, EM, VP, DW, GA, WS, BM, AS, SD, DiE, LP, MM. Please tell me what their fanon names are because I don’t know some of them.

•Dread befriends them and looks forward to seeing them everyday. Roy becomes motherly and frets around the gang when they visit. Asking about their day, did they eat well etc. The elgang is surprised at this, they’ve only met yet this man already worries about them.

•This earned him the nickname Mom Guard behind his back. Surprisingly, it was Chase who started to use the nickname behind Roy’s back. Unsurprisingly, it was Rune who made it up.

• Lili doesn’t go to school, money is tight because of low customers but papa Abysser wants the best for her and saves whatever money he gets from the bakery and the weapon company.

•Ria has taken the liberty to take time off her position in the counter to teach Lili basic education, she was the one that taught Lili how to read and write but it was Dread who hooked her into drawing two years after she met Ria.

•Until now Ria remains her tutor, Blesse also tries to teach her but fails miserably as a result, Ria is the one who translates what Blesse is trying to say. Abysser finds it sweet when his employee tutors both kids in a corner since Ria would use exaggerated hand gestures that makes Lili and Blesse laugh.

•He secretly has tons of pictures of the trio.

•Ria is now the official unofficial tutor of Lili and Blesse, especially when the latter is confused about her school work.

•Dread and Roy sometimes join the trio and help Ria tutor. But this would mostly end up with Dread forgetting that he put something in the oven and Roy whacking him on the head.

•Dread invited Roy to his apartment once, but Roy is worried that Blesse will feel neglected again. Blesse huffed and told her brother she’ll be fine and asked if she could spend the night at Lili’s house in exchange.

• Abysser is more than happy to let Blesse spend the night, but thirty minutes later he’s on the phone with Ria begging for help. One Lili was enough. But having his daughter sugar high with another child is insanity.

•Ria sighed at this but goes to the bakery grumbling to herself, she doesn’t mind taking care of children and helping her boss but the problem? It’s twelve in the fucking midnight.

•Meanwhile Roy and Dread were peacefully enjoying each other’s company at Dread’s apartment. With Dread playing with the other’s hair as they watched movies.

•Roy is fighting off sleep but Dread playing with his hair and his soft humming made him lose. Dread would later be seen blushing when he realized Roy had fallen asleep but carries him to his room and set’s Roy on his bed.

• He was pulled back by Roy who had a tight grip on his arm muttering “don’t go”, Dread realized Roy was still asleep and is probably having a dream. With a soft smile he lay down next to the other male and rubbed Roy’s head whispering a good night before he too fell asleep.

•The next morning Roy woke up in Dread’s arms. He immediately slaps him with a red face. Dread fell off the bed and groaned, before he explained what happened last night. Roy apologized softly after the explanation.

• When they got to the bakery, the two were surprised when it wasn’t open yet, Ria was always the first one in. They entered through with spare keys that were hidden and the two of them went to the second floor.

•Dread held back the laugh and Roy felt a smile twitch in his lips. A disgruntled Abysser greeted them with bags in his eyes and clothes ruffled, behind him was Ria with messy hair, swaying on her feet and muttering something under her breath. Lili and Blesse were sleeping peacefully behind the two adults.

•When asked what happened, Ria just collapsed on Abysser’s back as the latter only said two words: sugar high before he picked up Ria and set her on the couch.

•Roy panicked and apologized to Abysser and Ria for anything that could have happened. The two waved it off and said that they just need to keep the sweets away from the two children at night.

•Morning routine fell in quickly as Abysser filled in for Ria who was dead to the world in sleep, in the counter as Dread started to bake. Roy waked up his sister and went to take her home for a change of clothes and a shower for himself. Another day has started at the bakery

#elsword #lu elsword #elsword ciel #elsword luciel #dlrg #dreadlord #royal guard #timoria #abysser #noblesse #chiliarch #cielcest

[artificialqueens]

Black Leather Chapter 4 {biadore} - imafuckinglibra

Daddy’s home boys & girls & those who are the theys. Tbfh this one got a little rushed but I just wanted to be able to finally put something out for you so enjoy lemme know which of the other fics you are most desperate for me to finish or if you’ve just stopped caring about me k bye.

Darienne was the first of the girls entering the workroom after BenDeLaCreme’s elimination sighing deeply as Courtney followed like a baby bird learning to walk soon after.

Adore and Bianca were, as usual, the last to enter, Adore immediately making her way to the mirror to read Dela’s message but Bianca’s heart was heavy so she straggled behind the rest.

Adore winning the challenge and proving everyone who ever doubted her wrong made her insanely proud and happy but at the same time hearing her idol criticize her outfit was eating away her self confidence.

Not to mention even Kourtney Kardashian had a few words about her gown, a Kardashian? Judging her? Really?

“What the fuck is that on the mirror!” Courtney pointed towards the wall where the girls got dressed each week, now covered corner to corner in pink lipstick words.

“Oh, Jesus,” Darienne exclaimed and Bianca followed their staring. Her spirits lifting as she started reading the ridiculous mirror message along with Courtney.

“Well, congratulations miss Adore!” She quickly changed the subject, the insane pride she felt had pushed its way through her internal panic. Regardless of how negative her critiques were her love came first. “You won a sewing challenge!”

“Yeah, mother fucker, yeah.” Adore did her 90’s rapper act.

That smile. That was all she needed to forget any negative thoughts.

“You. Did. Great.” Bianca praised smiling at Adore.

“Thanks, baby.”

“Well apparently Adore’s the perfect banjie girl,” Courtney commented shady as fuck rolling her eyes like a displeased brat.

Adore began loosening her corset pretending not to be affected by her words but the voice in Roy’s head said something else. Literally.

‘You hearing this?’ Adore thought loudly again.

“You don’t know what the judges are gonna think.” Courtney in some fucked up way defended herself but as she spoke Bianca felt her love’s discouragement radiating out so she quickly changed the subject.

“No you, no you don’t know.” Bianca had to admit Adore’s emotions were starting to affect her too.

She felt vulnerable with her wig off and the puff around her shoulders off too but figured it was best to swallow her pride and take some of the spotlights off Adore to give her a breather.

“They want more, but then they want, my ruffle’s too big and my hat’s too much.” She half-heartedly laughed looking at Adore next to her to see if she was okay. “I don’t know.”

“If I am brutally honest.” Courtney began.

“Sure, be brutally honest.” Before Courtney began speaking Bianca spotted Adore in her peripherals turning to the Australian with a pouty glare on her face as if the younger was in attack mode waiting for her to say something shady so she could pounce.

“I kind of was thinking that you would turn out something that we haven’t seen yet.”

‘Was the kind of thinking you’d show some fucking talent for once and not throw people under the damn mat.’ Adore’s usual loud thoughts were now just unstoppable screaming in Bianca’s head as she continued her silent rant.

“Hey I’m still here, I’m grateful.” Bianca quickly put an end to the conversation and to Adore’s venting and placed her hand on the younger’s.

“Party.”

-

Roy dropped down onto the big grey couch with a deep sigh. The comments from the judges were still heavy on his mind, out of habit he took the little white handkerchief out of his pocket. Examining the embroidered letters that he had made a mental note of previously to ask Danny about.

Danny came to sit down next to him, no way he was done dedragging but he probably sensed the disappointment in Roy’s gut. The disappointment which was now mingling with something else? Something…different.

“Hey, baby.” Danny’s hand came up to rest on his knee.

“Why aren’t you done yet?”

“You were more important.” Danny smiled.

Love. Maybe that was what was rolling around inside? Danny was truly the greatest guy he could ever hope for. He was sweet, caring and absolutely adorable.

He leaned in closer to Danny’s side and dropped his head on his shoulder with another sigh. “Thank you, my darling.”

“I’m sorry Bob Mackie hurt your feelings.”

“He didn’t, well he did but…he was just honest.”

“Yeah but I know how much you like went on about him being your idol and all that and like I don’t want you feeling all sad and shit.”

“I’m a big boy I can take it.”

The mystery tingle sprung up again in his abdomen, now growing intense and spreading down to his groin. Following a similar path that Danny’s hand was moving up his thigh, casually and slowly.

“Yes, you are. I know how to make you feel better though…” Danny whispered against his forehead. His hand shifting to his inner thigh to give a squeeze. “I’ve been thinking how all day. About you all day.”

“I can tell.” Roy gulped.

“You feel that?”

He did, very very vividly. Intensely burning between his legs making his freshly untucked dick twitch ever so slightly.

“Baby. Not now.” Roy quickly grabbed his hand trying to avoid Danny’s advances looking so obvious.

“But I need you.” He whined biting the shell of Danny’s ear.

“Soon. Just a…”

“Ladies! Times up! In the van let’s go.” The designated ‘queen wrangler’ stood by the door ordering the queens back.

Roy could feel the tingling die down in the ride home, he and Shane sat behind the rest of the pack in the back of the small dark van.

As soon as he stepped foot in the dreary hotel room and closed the door behind him the tingling sprung up again, this time burning deeply through him causing his erection to grow almost instantly.

The source of said tingling jumped into the room just as unexpectedly as the feeling did when the door slapped him away and Danny appeared slamming the door shut behind him.

“Are you crazy? We’ll get…”

“Shut up.” Danny interrupted before he could speak by slamming his lips onto his.

His lips parting to allow their tongues to glide between their teeth to dance over each other.

“I told you I need you.” Danny breathed out into his mouth, his hands reaching between the small space separating them to reach for his jeans.

As soon as his jean was unzipped Danny dropped to his knees, wasting no time to pull out his semi.

His tongue flattening out to lick up the shaft of his cock, licking from the base towards the head to suck it into his mouth. His lips covering the sensitive tip as his tongue swirled around it for a second before he took him whole in.

“Shit.” Roy hissed when his cock was fully enveloped by his warm wet mouth. Growing more in his mouth by the second as he pulled back repeating this process till he was fully erect.

Roy’s hands wrapping around the back of his head to grab hold of his short brunette locks.

“That’s it.” Roy pulled him up by his hair so he’d stand and with his hands tightly holding onto his ass he lifted him effortlessly.

Dropping him onto the bed he pulled down his pants, his jeans around the shins of his legs hanging off the bed as he did before quickly flipping him by the hips.

“I’m really starting to love this faggy shit.” Roy chuckled when he saw he was wearing another jock strap. Danny once admitted he loved jock straps more than actual underwear and it was quickly becoming very apparent.

He sat on his knees pulling the jeans the rest of the way off, the tight white jock strap’s material tightly stretched, practically bursting from Danny’s growing erection pushing it out.

Roy, just as eager as Danny had been a minute ago, now rushed to get him ready to take him.

“Oh god.” Danny moaned dipping his back to push Roy’s pointed tongue further into himself. “Fuck you’re good at that.”

Roy continued eagerly eating him out, making sure he was properly lubed with his saliva even spitting on his ass one more time before he massaged his inexperienced asshole with his index and middle finger.

Danny, the over-eager young man he was, lowered his ass onto his fingertips in a desperate attempt to get him to hurry up.

“Roy, please.” He whined wiggling his ass onto his fingers a little more.

Roy didn’t want to neglect his love when he was so apparently in need and pushed the fingers into him feeling them clench tightly around his digits when he was knuckle deep.

He continued fingering him as he kissed all along his perfect ass, along the marks his teeth previously left. His lips clamping onto the tender flesh every so often next to the bruises to leave fresh ones as Danny sank lower into the sheets. His chest completely against the fabric now with his lower half resting on his folded knees.

Danny’s arousal radiating in his abdomen as well mixing with his own causing a dangerously irresistible want that he couldn’t bear any longer.

He stood up and lubed himself up one final time while he positioned himself perfectly behind the younger.

His hands gripping his soft hips tightly as he without warning slammed himself into Danny, the high pitched cry erupting from his partner sent a pang of guilt through him.

Maybe he rushed him a bit, not that he cared that much to be honest, his want made him desperate. Besides if Danny wanted to get fucked that badly he was going to get fucked. Properly.

However, he didn’t want to hurt him so he halted any movement and with his arms either side of his love he bent forward to bite around his shoulder blades. Careful not to leave any marks where his skin would be showing for the final runway.

Danny, however, didn’t waste any time but started riding back slowly, his movements strained giving away that despite his willingness he hadn’t given himself enough time.

“Impatient little fuck.” Roy chuckled standing back giving his ass a loud slap, the red hand forming instantly against the porcelain skin.

Roy grabbed a hold of the waistband of his jockstrap, tightly twisting it in his hands around his fist causing the fabric to dig into his hips. Using the new tight hold to stabilize himself as he started forcefully pounding into him. “Careful what you wish for, bitch.”

“You did promise.” Danny reached around to grab hold of the wrists twisting his underwear so roughly. His face smushed against the bed looking back up at Roy with those big irresistible eyes driving Roy wild.

With every hard slap of their bodies the force of it would make bed shake, the back of it hitting the wall as Roy’s belt buckle from his jeans still around his upper thighs hit Danny’s legs.

Roy pulled the underwear tighter till his knuckles turned white, the visible red lines scratching into his hips.

“Ah…Harder.” Danny moaned when he fully adjusted to Roy’s rough fucking.

“Want me to fuck you harder? Beg for it.” Roy growled, his one hand remaining on Danny’s lower back twisting the fabric as the other slid up to his neck, his fingers digging into his pulse points.

Maybe this is what Danny meant by needing him. He finally had an outlet for all the stress, the rage, the negative comments, the pressure, the drama - everything.

He had an outlet for it all, right here lost in Danny, his danny.

The hand on his nape pulled him up, sliding around his neck to properly hold onto him so he could continue fucking him without missing a beat.

The hand holding onto the waistband slid around as well, pulling it down in the process so his dick could be released. He took the now freed cock in his hand, the hold on it just as tight as his hand around his throat. “Beg.”

“Ple…please.”

“Good boy. Now show me.” Roy bit the shell of his ear and gave his jugular another squeeze. Danny reached his arms around, wrapping his biceps around his head when Roy stilled his thrusting

His hips taking over slamming his ass into him, the sounds coming from his love, the feel of his young body smacking against his body - everything driving Roy crazy.

With Danny’s arms around his neck he could let go of his hold on his hips and snaked them in his shirt up his sides to his chest. His index fingers and thumbs tightly squeezing his small erect nipples making the younger moan deeper.

From the new sensation over stimulating his body Danny’s muscles all grew limp, his arms falling to the sides with his back leaning against Roy’s chest. His mouth open clearly far lost in ecstasy when Roy took control again.

“Atta boy.” Roy praised in his low husky voice, his hands now back on his hips as he thrusted forward a few more times with such force Danny fell forward.

“Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah…” Danny’s moaning turned to incoherent gibberish. His fingers tightly gripping the sheets under him as Roy’s thrusts became more unstable, harder, desperate - unable to restrain himself any longer as he felt Danny’s orgasm creeping closer. “B…I’m gonna…I’m…”

His words were cut off when he fell forward, his back arching, his cry cut off from the fabric of the sheets between his teeth muffling any sounds.

“Shit!” Roy hissed halting his movements when he fell on top of him overcome with not only his orgasm crashing down on him but Danny’s as well.

“Fuck yeah, cum in me, baby.” Danny breathed out encouraging him as Roy filled his tight asshole, his hips thrusting a few more times with every pulse of his cock as he shot his load into him more and more.

The younger’s hand up on the back of Roy’s neck to pull him in for a kiss as Roy whimpered into his mouth when the last of his load entered him.

The warmth of his own cum enveloping him as the walls of Danny’s asshole relaxed around him further.

“Shit.” He breathed out again, a slight chuckle in his voice when he lifted himself off his lover. “Don’t get up.”

He pulled off his shirt over his head to wipe himself off as he slowly pulled out of Danny, watching the string of cum following dribbling out of his asshole.

Roy slapped his ass when he was all out but hit his thigh accidentally the second time when Danny rolled over. Revealing the wet spot he left in the bed when he came.

“You missed a spot.” Danny seductively whispered licking his lip, his hand stroking up from the base of his semi limp cock showing him the cum dribbling down from his head.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Roy bent forward holding his hips down onto the bed as he took him whole into his mouth.

Savoring the low moan coming from the younger almost as much as he did the taste of him sliding onto his tongue as he lifted his head back up. Careful not to miss a single drop of cum he flattened his tongue against his shaft till he reached the source of the liquid and twirled his tongue around it.

He let go of his cock with a pop giving his head a final quick peck, trailing his kisses down to the base of his cock and down his inner thighs.

“Happy?” He lifted a brow grazing his teeth along the soft part Danny’s thigh, right next to his balls.

“Fuck yeah.” Danny dropped his head into the sheets. “But fuck it man think you wrecked my ass.”

Roy snorted at the comment before taking a chunk of the supple skin into his mouth, his teeth biting down into it in the process making Danny whimper faintly.

-

“So what’s the deal with this?” Roy asked examining the initials threaded onto the handkerchief he still had of Danny’s.

He tried kicking the younger out after their moment but he wasn’t in any condition to immediately walk home. So instead while Roy was laying back against the headboard, with his jeans pulled back up but his shirt discarded and belt still unbuckle, Danny was resting his head on his thigh.

His fingers running through the younger’s short hair making him purr against his leg. He looked up at Roy to see what he was talking about. “Oh…that.”

Roy felt his euphoria turn to complete hollowness and instantly regretted his decision of questioning anything. His fingers ceased their playing and instead trailed down his cheeks to caress his chin with his thumb. “You don’t have to explain, I’m sorry.”

“No it’s okay. It’s um, it’s my da…it was my dad’s.” Danny’s eyes flicked to the fabric. “I use to watch him and my uncles fold theirs in a specific way in their pockets every morning or starch their pants’ creases and stuff so he gave me his one day to not feel left out. Kind of felt like him giving it to me was the only time he made me feel wanted or loved you know? So I just, I just kept it I guess.”

Roy’s heart dropped, maybe he shouldn’t have pried like that. Shit.

“I can’t keep this.” Roy held the handkerchief towards him trying to return it but Danny pushed his hand back.

“If you don’t you’ll be hurting too much.” The panic rising it Danny made his his voice higher.

“I’ll be fine. I can’t take this, Danny. Keep it.” He tried keeping his own emotions as calm as possible to ease Danny’s through their link.

“Okay…” Danny smiled softly. “I guess I should be going.”

Danny gave his thigh a kiss and pushed himself off the bed.

“Loves you.” Danny cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly goodbye.

“Love you too.”

Danny turned to leave but by the pulling in his chest Roy couldn’t let him leave in that state with a clear conscious.

“Hey.” He pulled him back by his shirt. Holding into his hand and staring directly into his eyes with as much sincerity as he could muster. “You are wanted and you are loved. No more weepy bullshit okay?”

“Okay.” Danny nodded.

-

As the girls were waiting for Jamal to arrive they were idly sitting at the table they did every morning enjoying the break the crew gave them to just chat.

Danny and Roy were in the corner of the table sitting next to each other for once, their arms next to each other on the table but neither made any attempts to touch.

“Everyone already knows just be gross and hold hands like a real couple.” Shane grabbed each man’s wrist in hand and slapped them together. “It’s 2014 dammit let the gays hold hands!”

“She’s almost as bossy as you.” Roy joked taking the bait when Danny spread his fingers and wove his through them.

“Oh thank you, jesus that feels so much better.” Danny purred when they finally made skin on skin contact.

Although he didn’t want to make it to obvious Roy involuntarily released a deeply relieved sigh as well.

They’d been apart all day, far too long to manage.

“So do you need to be touching all the time or else you die or something?” Darriene next to Danny inquired.

“I doubt it’s THAT severe but I have seen you go every variety of pale I think known to man when you’re apart.” Shane added poking Roy’s cheekbone.

“I mean I don’t know maybe you feel different but for me it’s like…” Danny started answering.

“Really really bad heartburn.” Roy finished his thought for him.

“Yeah or when someone’s lacing you up and they pull the strings back that like, that, intense tugging and then the longer you’re corseted that ‘oh wow my heart’s totally in my throat I can taste blood’ feeling, that.”

“What do you know about being laced up, hogbody?” Roy teased nudging the now pouting Danny’s shoulder. “But definitely. Like he said it’s this very, heavy pulling in my chest.”

“Have you thrown up yet?”

“Oh yeah. That day between filming right after we linked.”

“Mh-yeah.” Danny nodded linking the corner of his mouth. God he looked cute doing it.

So cute that Roy brought his other hand up to trail his hand up from his jaw to the back of his head to slowly pull him in for a small kiss.

“Gross.” Darriene snarled.

“Another!” Danny loudly shouted with his trade mark giggle and Roy happily obliged.

“Throwing up is part of linking?” Shane suddenly spoke up, the panic evident in his voice.

“Romantic, right.” Roy chuckled. “But even just if he was standing over there at the fabric planet wall I’d feel that. Kind of. That reminds me.

Roy suddenly got up and went over to his bag, digging through one of the pockets for what felt like forever.

“Guys can I speak to Adore in the hallway or something? Just for a minute?” Roy asked in the direction of Duncan and the set manager. He knew it was a long shot but just maybe they’d allow it.

“Sorry you know we can’t let you.”

“What if we both happen to go out for a smoke break? We’re still mic’d so it’s not like we’ll talk shop or anything.”

“I mean…” The set manager looked over hesitantly to Duncan, Courtney in the background quietly cheering ‘do it.’ “I’m okay with them both just accidentally happening to go out for a smoke together.”

Duncan looked down at his watch, counting something silently down. “Fine, you have exactly 8 minutes, if you’re not here we’re filming Jamal’s showing the dance routine without you and you can explain to Ru why you’re not in her music video. Got it?”

Strict as ever.

“Thank you.” Roy looked over to Danny, cocking his head in the door’s direction.

“Okay so what the actual fuck was that?” Danny finally asked when they reached outside and the still slightly brisk morning air hit them.

His heart started racing for absolutely no good reason as he watched Danny lighting the cigarette between his teeth.

“Want one?” Danny grinned holding the pack up to him as he exhaled.

“I don’t smoke you know that.

“Never? Because I sensed some bad juju involving cigarettes and some b…”

“Alright alright, shut up ,bitch.” Roy quickly shushed him embarrassed that Danny actually knew about his ex from his youth. Fuck this stupid linking process.

“Just trying to get you to calm down you’re the one making me feel all twitchy this time. fuck man.” Danny took another deep inhale, motioning Roy closer seductively curling his fingers slowly one by one.

He knew exactly what Danny was planning but was too desperate to kiss him or ease his anxiety. With his hand on the back of Danny’s neck and Danny’s hand on his cheek the pair leaned into each other.

Danny’s puffy lips hitting him first gently caressing his before their lips parted and a gust of menthol laced smoke invaded his mouth.

He wasn’t a smoker but if this was how it was done he’d become an addict in a heartbeat.

“Better?” Danny asked pulling back to caress his cheekbone with his thumb.

“Yeah. Okay now lemme do this before we both get kicked off.” Roy nervously chuckled coughing slightly when he exhaled the leftover smoke. “People will pick up on something being different if you’re wearing it but just you know, carry it in your pocket for now or something.”

He reached in his back poked and pulled something on a long distressed leather string out, raising his brows waiting for a yay or nay from the stunned young man examining his gift.

Danny was standing frozen with his fingertips examining the small silver ring with chipped gold flecks between the cracks. “Wha?”

“When I was younger, your age actually, I wore a lot of really cheap rings. And while hosting mardi gras for the first time one of them snapped. In my defense it somehow actually rusted because the weather there is shit, okay.” He laughed hearing how ridiculous the whole thing sounded out loud. “So um anyway, a friend of mine from New Orleans who makes jewelry kind of sanded down what could be saved and made it into a pendant that I’ve just always carried around with me. But I uh, I know you’re too punk for shit like that so if you don’t want it…”

“I do.” He interrupted lunging at him.

The older lifting him so he’d wrap his legs around his waist like an over excited child squealing in delight.

“And I have another treat for you in case you don’t want that.” Roy laughed digging in his pockets.

“Yeah?” Danny bit his lip. “Wha?”

Danny dropped his cigarette and took hold of the small piece of fabric Roy handed him. It looked less like something Roy would make and more like some 80’s punk had gotten his hands on a defenseless handkerchief.

It had the word ‘party’ embroidered in red and black underneath a skull on one side and on the other Danny’s initials.

“It’s like my dads?” Danny looked up from his gift, his fingertips still rubbing over the threaded D. A. N.

“But it’s not. It’s yours.” Roy smiled caressing his cheek. “I wanted to show you you’ll always be included with me, always wanted because I want you.”

Danny looked into his eyes as his own started glossing over with tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Roy smiled as the pair leaned in for a final kiss before returning to the workroom.

-

When Jamal came in and explained a little of what they’d be doing Danny must’ve picked up on Roy grinning so brightly at the tall buff man because the older could feel this intense burning jealousy filling his gut.

“Hey.” Danny mouthed slapping Roy’s ribs. “Mine.”

“You guys ready to learn some sissy- oghraphy?” Jamal interrupted before Roy could react.

‘Watching you.’ Danny’s voice echoed in his mind making Roy give his hand a slap before they all rose to go learn their moves for the music video.

Danny took his time however with Roy following shortly on his trail with their hands together before Roy’s fingertips gave a small yank on the back of his striped shirt.

“Help me.”

“Well that’s easy.” Roy joked dryly as they watched Jamal showing the moves they had to learn emphasizing his annoyance by rolling his eyes at Courtney.

Danny smiled at Roy’s nervousness biting his lip when Jamal called on him to show his part of the routine.

The way he so easily rolled his body seductively and his ungodly long legs looking absolutely incredible in his tight black jeans and pink heels caused a strange twitch in Roy’s groin.

Roy shifted nervously when he caught himself blatantly staring wide mouthed at his love. Probably looking like an actual idiot right on camera while Danny perfectly mimicked his part.

“Just to let you know I had a stroke in 1972” Roy warned when Jamal called on him which made Danny laugh, the sound easing some of his nerves.

“You got this c’mon.”

“Alright.” Roy yelled shaking his shoulders getting ready, hyping himself up before he attempted his body roll.

He wanted to look to Danny for some comfort but the glare he was getting from Jamal and the ever present reminder that cameras were watching him stopped him and only made his body rolls more awkward.

“Shit, I can’t I’m,” He laughed shaking his head. “Am I going down or am I?”

Jamal showed the way he was supposed to do it again and Roy parroted every move as best as possible noticing that this time it was Danny doing the blatant staring laughing at him.

The sweet sound of his giggles and his goofy grin only encouraged Roy to ham his moves up more the more Danny’s laughter grew.

Roy shook his head when Jamal stopped clearly unamused by his show.

“Keep going c’mon! Come back to me.” He laughed.

“But look, you cant be smiling like this.”

“It’s that stroke! It’s that stroke.” He continued his joke with the most idiotic grin he could manage repeating his goofy body roll ”You like this? Like my roll.”

Jamal however remained unimpressed so he quickly stopped and apologized. Shooting a glare over at Danny and mouthing. “Your fault!”

“She’s trying to impress her boyfriend with her new hip.” Shane teased with a sly grin making Danny clap back.

“Someone with wig lines so dirty they be looking older than my existence shouldn’t be sayin’ shit.”

Roy proudly cackled and clapped his hands looking either side of him as the queens meowed at each other before Jamal pulled them back to being professional.

Watching Darienne fucking up his part even more than he did only discouraged Roy further. He didn’t want to be in the same boat as the other queen and get pulled aside like some special kid in school who needs extra attention so he continued practicing his moves on his own while the others watched Darriene.

“You got this.” Danny reassured him again before he leaned back so he could look at him behind the queen between them. “C’mon epileptic realness”

Roy threw his head back as he clapped his hands laughing the shady comment off. “Dont make me cut you.”

Danny blew him a kiss but before he could retaliate they were instructed to all perform it together once or twice to get the unity of their dancing down.

-

Much later when Darienne was having her final four lunch with RuPaul the rest of the three girls were busy picking out their outfits for the final runway, well, mainly Roy and Shane. Danny was sitting to the side trying to remember if he even had any more outfits to pick from or if he should just risk making his own seeing as he won the glitter ball.

“I’m tryna’ decide for the final runway look between like this or to go for something with a little more pazass” Danny nervously continued watching when Roy walked over to Shane to help look at what he was showing.

Pouting as he saw Shane show off the shimmery belt he held up followed by what looked like an ancestral hand me down from Big Bird’s great grandma. “This is like a feather backpack but it’s got like big pheasent feathers coming out the back.”

“It’s cute.” The youngest of the group made an effort to be included that went seemingly unnoticed.

“I have a hooded thing.” Roy ignored him pulling the hood off a gold dress to show off as well.

“Aaaah.” Danny moaned at the glimmering gown which finally made him turn around to show off the hood to him as well. “That’s pretty .” He smiled the best he could but before Roy could comment back Shane interrupted with yet another option.

“Maybe this is my opportunity to wear my Priscilla wig.” Shane came strutting up to them with ridiculous fake purple hair as if straight from the movie itself.

A wig so ridiculous it actually made Roy pull a disgusted face from where he was leaning against the table.

“It’s a little homage to Priscilla queen of the desert.” Shane continued strutting around clearly living fully in his own fantasy till he found another goodie to show off.

Examining a blue and red dress while Roy still debated if the hood was the way to go, reconsidering it as he this time held it over his head with an unsure pout and looking Shane up and down with whatever he wore this time.

While they were growing more and more confident with their decisions the nerves were getting too much for the youngest again and before they knew it Danny had excused himself for a quick smoke break.

When he came back Roy was pretending to show a black sheer dress with stones twirling it around to play it off as if he didn’t even realize Danny had left.

I mean obviously he knew, what kind of bullshit was that? How could Danny be so thick to think he wouldn’t pick up on his emotions sooner, before Darriene even left in fact.

Unable to stand his depressed puppy dog expression or the gnawing in his chest any more Roy for once decided to ignore the cameras and walk over to him for a little heart to heart of their own.

“You know what you’re gonna wear yet?” Roy asked as he drapped some green tape over his shoulder.

“I’ll wear something cute.” Danny held up a bright blue gown that looked more like something Roy would’ve made when he had just started.

‘Baby, no.’ Roy scolded silently in his head when he noticed Shane looked like he had a bitchy comment to announce again.

“Say something shady I dare you, I’ll trip you on that stage bitch.”

Shane’s sudden locked shut lips and shocked expression reassured Roy all to well his comment did the trick as the blonde instead just titled his head to try and keep inside whatever nasty remark he was going to make this time before scurrying away to sort his jewels while Danny discouragingly showed off his dress again.

“Where’d you get it.” Roy asked calling him closer.

“It’s just 10 dollars on ebay.” He proudly admitted walking closer to where Roy was making a snarl and feeling the cheap fabric as if it was an abomination that deeply offended him.

“Looks it.” He tossed the fabric away from him. “Bring that sparkly thing I have an idea.”

After Roy got back from his own lunch date with Ru he couldn’t even remember half the things they talked about. The time flew by too quick for him to catch up and especially since he was mostly focused on getting through it so he could go back to where he was sure a still depressed Danny waited.

To his disappointment Danny got called immediately after he returned just as with Darriene and judging by the tension in his stomach it wasn’t going well.

Memories of Danny’s dad popped in and out of his head helping him piece together why he was feeling the way he was and recognize that they must’ve been talking about him.

Feelings of abandonment and sorrow rushed through him as he tried fighting through it all and ripped out a piece of paper from his sketchbook.

The rest of the 20 minutes that Danny was away Roy spent on the couch with a cold towel against his forehead from withdrawals getting the better of him.

He didn’t move an inch except for when he sensed Danny coming back and rushed to compose himself as he went back to work on making sure everything for his final runway was perfect.

Danny walked back to his station completely drained after the emotional chat looking for Roy but the man was hidden behind his gowns in the corner so instead he proceeded to his own.

Never realizing that Roy kept a close watch through his peripherals making sure Danny saw the big torn page of instructions pinned against the dress he’d shown him earlier.

‘Stop overthinking it and turn it the fuck out. Use this as a guide and spend tonight stitching on these sequins just as I show here. If you need help call me.

PS: you’re dad would’ve been proud’

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #smut #fluff #black leather #imafuckinglibra #canon compliant #on set fic #s6

[welcometotheheartbreakhotel]

Prompts for Requests

Feel free to choose a number from any of the categories, and if it's not there let me know, I'll work with you😘😘 I also take ideas for scenarios and imagines, and do mtl. Quotation Prompts 1.“Well, this isn’t going as expected.” 2.“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” 3.“If you had just asked, I would have.” 4.“Are you drunk?” 5.“I love you.” 6.“I hate you.” 7.“Get out!” 8.“You’re holding back on me.” 9.“This might hurt.” 10.“If you make one more stupid joke, I will kill you.” 11.“I’m pregnant.” 12.“Don’t you dare die on me, (name)” 13.“What the fuck?” 14.“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” 15.“Are we really doing this?” 16.0“Is that..” 17.“So you stole it?” “No, I borrowed it” 18.“I missed you.” 19.“Are you wearing my shirt?” 20.“You’re making me uncomfortable.” 21.“You look like you could use a massage.” 22.“You say some weird things when you sleep talk.” 23.“Bite me.” 24.“I don’t trust myself around you.” 25.“Are you jealous?” 26.“You’re not happy, are you?” 27.“Please remember that we share a wall.” 28.“You’re such an asshole!” 29.“Why are you at my doorstep at two in the morning?” 30.“Trust me, I can handle it.” 31.“My hair is better than yours.” 32.“Kiss my ass.” 33.“If you say that again I am going to stab you with a rusty knife.” 34.“All I need is a kitten and a big glass of lemon ice tea.” 35.“Brain over brawn? But they have neither.” 36.“I’m a lone wolf.” 37.“Did you just kiss me?” 38.“Your eyes are as beautiful as Enchanted Eden, your hair as perfect as Roasted Coffee and your lips as bright as Raspberry Bellini.” “Someone has clearly been looking at the dulex colour chart.” 39.“Well you seem busy.” 40.“Weird is an understatement.” 41.“She is a little crazy. And by little, I mean a lot and by crazy, I mean psychotic.” 42.“Please be quiet, I can’t even hear myself losing the will to live.” 43.“Take another step, and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” 44.“I would call you an imbecile but that’d be cruel as you wouldn’t be able to spell it.” 45.“You interrupt my reading once more, and this book will become a lethal weapon.” 46.“Say that again.” 47.“If being clumsy was a currency, I’d be a bloody billionaire.” 48.“Kiss me you twat.” 49.“Your heart is as cold as my dorm room, and I can’t feel my toes in that room, so it’s bloody cold.” 50.“If you wanted a sign you should have said, and I would have punched you in the face.” 51.“What cruel irony it is to lose your glasses.” 52.“You aren’t a drama queen, you are a bloody drama emperor.” 53.“If they marked you on being wrong you’d be at the top of the class.” 54.“Have you got something to tell me?” 55.“Well aren’t you a hero?” 56.“If I were a Disney princess I would be Kuzco, as I’m fabulous and I may not be a princess but I deserve a crown.” 57.“Don’t you think we look alike?” “No. Not at all.” 58.“It’s best to not mention what happened last summer.” 59.“I wouldn’t say this is the happiest moment of my life. Once I found $ in my coat pocket and it was amazing.” 60.“The day you make me laugh is the day the dolphins start walking on land.” 61.“Come on dude! Why the hell did you shoot me?” 62.“That better be an apology pizza I smell, not just some stupid normal pizza.” 63.“I feel more inclined to take a bit out of my own flesh that eat that.” 64.“Stop stealing my clothes.” 65.“We all have secrets.” 66.“I don’t need to be protected.” 67.“So how many weapons do you have?” 68.“A nail clipper isn’t a conventional weapon but believe me you’ll be crying for your mother when I’m done with you.” 69.“Did you paint the cat?” 70.“Well you are beautiful, just not as beautiful as me.” 71.“Malteses are satanic bunny poop.” 72.“Stop being dramatic, it’s only a tiny cut.” 73.“I’m not short, I’m adorable.” 74.“Can we just cuddle and pretend we have nothing to do?” 75.“Sometimes I wish you were dead.” 76.“How the hell did the sand get there?” 77.“I’m tired, so don’t make me angry.” 78.“Does it hurt?” 79.“are you even listening?” “yes, it just takes me a while to process so much stupid all at once.” 80.“Go float yourself!” 81.“Do you think we’re bad people?” 82. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.” 83. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!” 84. “Give me a chance.” 85. “I fucked up.” 86. “I came to say goodbye.” 87. “May we meet again” 88. “I’m so in love with you.” 89. “Isn’t this amazing?” 90. “Catch me if you can!” 91. “Are you drunk?” 92. “Of course I remembered!” 93. “You owe me.” 94. “It’s just your imagination.” 95. “I can take care of myself just fine.” 96. “Since when have we ever been friends?” 97. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” 98. “Just talk to me” 99. “Just shut up and kiss me.” 100. “If we get caught I’m blaming you” 101. “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now” 102. “How long do we have?” 103. “How did we become this?” 104. “Am I ever going to see you again?” 105. “You make me feel invincible.” 106. ”Love isn’t perfect and that’s okay.” 107. “Are you ever going to tell him?” 108. “Just let me in. I promise I won’t hurt you.” 109. “I didn’t mean what I said.” 110. “Don’t look at me like that.” 111. “I’m pregnant and I don’t want to lose you.” 112. “What do you mean you love me?” “I mean that I love you..” 113. “Why are you so secretive?” “why aren’t you?” 114. “I need a place to stay.” 115. “I’m too sober for this.” 116. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.” 117. “No. Regrets.” 118. “Leave me alone.” 119. “That tattoo is hot.” “It is?”“Yeah, makes me wonder…” “Wonder what?” “What else you’re hiding.” 120. “I never meant to hurt you.” 121. “You need to leave.” 122. “I wish i’d never met you.” 123. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” 124. “Can I kiss you right now?” 125. “Don’t touch me.” 126. “Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person.” 127. “Was I really that drunk?” 128. “Did you hear that?” 129. “I hate how much I love you” 130. “I don’t want you to stop.” 131. “We need to talk.” 132. “Does he know about the baby?” 133. “That’s starting to get annoying” 134. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!” 135. “I’m not going anywhere.” 136. “I’ll keep you safe.” 137. “How did you find me?” 138. “I don’t want to talk about it.” 139. “Please, don’t cry.” 140. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.” 141. “I didn’t do it!” 142. “I did it…” 143. “I don’t remember that!” 144. “This is girl talk, so leave.” 145. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.” 146. “You’re too good for this world.” 147. “There’s nothing I can do anymore.” 148. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.” 149. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow.” 150. “Are you kidding me? We’re not fine!” 151. “I’m here for you.” 152. “Don’t leave me behind.” 153. “I have to tell you something.” 154. “You can’t just sit there all day.” 155. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.” 156. “I hate you.” 157. “I don’t need you anymore.” 158. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” 159. “I’ve liked you for awhile now.” 160. “Are you flirting with me?” 161. “Is that my shirt?” 162. “Are you mad at me?” 163. “Are you cold?” 164. “You’re an asshole.” 165. “I had a bad dream again.” 166. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?” 167. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?” 168. “Don’t argue. Just do it.” 169. “Kiss me.” 170. “Wait a second. Are you jealous?” 171. “Oh my god! You are in love with him!” 172. “I wasn’t going to wait around forever.” 173. “This is all my fault.” 174. “You deserve better than me.” 175. “This isn’t fair!” 176. “Could you be happy, here, with me?” 177. “Do you wish things had happened differently?” 178. “Something’s clearly wrong.” 179. “Keep your eyes on me.” Holiday Prompts 1.Christmas 2.Valentine’s Day 3.Fourth of July 4.Halloween 5.Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving AU Prompts 1.Coffee Shop AU 2.Soulmate AU 3.University/Highschool AU 4.Roommates AU 5.AU of your choice Song prompts: Congratulations- Day6 You Were Beautiful- Day6 Colors- Day6 Winter Is Gone- Day6 Letting Go- Day6 This Moment- Wonder Girls Girlfriend- Wonder Girls Stay- BlackPink Find A Way- Safetysuit As If You Know It All- Lim Kim Love in Seoul- Neon Bunny Smile Flower- Seventeen 20- Seventeen I Won’t Cry- Ladies Code I’m Fine, Thank You- Ladies Code My Flower- Ladies Code Chaconne- Ladies Code Autumn Leaves- BTS Let Me Know- BTS Time And Fallen Leaves- AKMU 200%- AKMU Heaven- Ailee Home- Ailee Insane- Ailee Goodbye- 2ne1 If I Were You- 2ne1 Missing You- 2ne1 That XX- G-Dragon Love You To Death- Taeyang This Ain’t It- Taeyang Take it Slow- Taeyang Rain- Taeyeon Secret- Taeyeon 11:11- Taeyeon Fine- Taeyeon Love in Color- Taeyeon Lost in Love- Taeyeon & Tiffany Heartbreak Hotel- Tiffany ft. Simon Dominic I Got Love- Taeyeon Paper Heart- f(x) Goodbye, Summer- f(x) Airplane- Ikon Apology- Ikon My Type- Ikon One of These Nights- Red Velvet Alone- Cheeze I love you (bye)- Cheeze I don’t Love You- Urban Zakapa Yellow- Coldplay Sparks- Coldplay Somewhere Only We Know- Keane Our Deal- Best Coast Boyfriend- Best Coast Secret Love Song ½- Little Mix Pillowtalk- Zayn Truth- Hatfelt Voice- Sweden Laundry Home- Roy Kim Seattle- Sam Kim The Only Exception- Paramore Kiss prompts: 1.Good morning” kiss 2.Kiss on the forehead 3.Drunk/sloppy kiss 4.Awkward kiss 5.Angry kiss 6.“I’m sorry” kiss 7.“I’ve missed you” kiss 8.Seductive kiss 9.“War’s End” kiss 10.“Goodbye” kiss 11.“I almost lost you” kiss 12.Kiss on the nose 13.Kiss on the ear 14.Kiss on the neck 15.Kiss on the back 16.New Year’s kiss 17.Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys 18.“I do” kiss 19.Shy kiss 20. Surprised kiss 21.Kiss on a dare 22.Sad kiss 23.Exhausted parents kiss 24.Kiss of life 25.Kiss inspired by a song 26.Jealous kiss 27.Giggly kiss 28.First kiss 29.Last kiss 30.Kiss under a full moon 31.Kiss at dusk 32.Kiss at dawn 33.Kiss in a dream 34.Returned from the dead kiss Themed kisses 35.“We can never be together” kiss 36.It’s-the-end-of-the-world kiss 37.Awkward teenage crush kiss 38.Spin the bottle kiss 39.Hiding/hoping not to be caught kiss 40.Forbidden kiss 41.Sated kiss 42.Soft kiss 43.Tender kiss 44.Passionate kiss 45.Long kiss 46.Quick kiss 47.Morning kiss 48.Before Bed kiss 49.In Secret kiss 50.Public kiss 51.Accidentally Witnessed kiss 52.Against a wall kiss 53.Against a Locker kiss 54.True Love kiss 55.Caught off-guard kiss 56.Breaking The Kiss To Say Something, Staying So Close That You’re Murmuring Into Each Other’s Mouths 57.Moving Around While Kissing, Stumbling Over Things, Pushing Each Other Back Against The Wall/Onto The Bed 58.Kissing So Desperately That Their Whole Body Curves Into The Other Person’s Throwing Their Arms Around The Other Person, Holding Them Close While They Kiss Hands On The Other Person’s Back, Fingertips Pressing Under Their Top, Drawing Gentle Circles Against That Small Strip Of Bare Skin That Make Them Break The Kiss With A Gasp 59.Lazy Morning Kisses Before They’ve Even Opened Their Eyes, Still Mumbling Half-Incoherently, Not Wanting To Wake Up 60.Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek/Forehead For The Hello/Goodbye Kiss Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing Being Unable To Open Their Eyes For A Few Moments Afterward 61.One Small Kiss, Pulling Away For An Instant, Then Devouring Each Other Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In When One Stops The Kiss To Whisper “I’m Sorry, Are You Sure You-” And They Answer By Kissing Them More 62.A Hoarse Whisper “Kiss Me” 63.Following The Kiss With A Series Of Kisses Down The Neck 64.Starting With A Kiss Meant To Be Gentle, Ending Up In Passion 65.A Gentle “I Love You” Whispered After A Soft Kiss, Followed Immediately By A Stronger Kiss 66.When One Person’s Face Is Scrunched Up, And The Other One Kisses Their Lips/Nose/Forehead 67.Height Difference Kisses Where One Person Has To Bend Do Wn And The Other Is On Their Tippy Toes 68.Kisses Where One Person Is Sitting In The Other’s Lap Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing 69.Top Of Head Kisses

[imthedoctordonna]

What do you mean I updated a fic?

Yeah... so after a long hiatus in the fanfic department, I went ahead and posted a new chapter to Lost and Found my Olicity AU fic that is a sequel to my Woman in Wolf’s Clothing. Pop on over to AO3 or FFN to read the fic in it’s uncompleted entirety.

OR you could read chapter 4 below...

               After an hour of briefing the team, pacing the floor, and worrying about Felicity, Oliver stepped in their bedroom to find her sleeping peacefully. He fought the urge to cuddle up next to her and shut the door on his way out. He collapsed on the couch, his whole body exhausted from the events of that morning.

               “Here, eat this.” Donna handed him a slice of pizza that Roy had ordered earlier.

               He chewed it mindlessly, and when it was gone he looked to the woman fidgeting uncomfortably on the couch across from him. “What did you mean by ‘This isn’t the first time’? I have a feeling you were speaking literally.”

               “I was and I wasn’t.” She sat in a pensive silence for a couple minutes before looking to him and continuing. “I have quite a few years under my belt, as you can imagine. Even tried my hand at dating once or twice since I left Damien… those men were only interested in one thing, and it wasn’t something I was willing to give up easily. Felicity. After the third date, when I thought everything was going great and I might actually have the opportunity to be happy again, they would start pushing about ‘When am I going to meet your daughter?’ and ‘Where does she go to school? Maybe we could pick her up someday’ or ‘My cousin would gladly watch her for the weekend while we go to Havasu.’

               The thing was, I rarely ever mentioned her. I am extremely guarded when it comes to her and had mentioned her only once or twice. They were fixated, and that’s when I knew it had to be Damien’s doing. He was trying to get at my baby through me and I was not going to let that happen, so I called off all the relationships when they got too insistent. They were confused, but eventually most of them went their own way without much of a fight. This one guy though, Roger, he took it a bit… harsher… than the rest. He became overbearing and borderline violent. I was truly afraid for the second time in my life. He would show up at the casino and sit in my section. If I would switch areas with someone; there he was. I even went so far as to request a schedule change, or to work the VIP area only and he still found a way to harass me.

               That’s when I asked my brother for some help. He helped me file a TRO by falsifying a few small things here and there and for a while, Roger had disappeared. I remember the relief I felt, not having to fear going to work or letting Felicity ride the bus to school…” She smiled sadly. “Not three weeks later, right as my world started to feel normal again, Roger was waiting by my car after work.” Donna paused, the memory making her voice shakier than she wanted. She wrestled for the strength to speak smoothly and detached, as she always did when it came to recalling that night.

Oliver waiting patiently for her to regain her footing, and only a few minutes had passed when she started speaking again. “He was sweaty and shaking. This angry smile stretching his cheeks too wide. He had said I looked good for an old hag, and that my ‘B’ of a daughter and I had missed the opportunity of a lifetime with him… When I started telling him just where he could shove his ‘opportunity of a lifetime’, he unzipped his jacket. Eight little pipes were strapped to his stomach and…” She took a deep breath and shook off the tears that were threatening to fall. “Anyway, one of my coworkers had seen him in the parking garage and went to get security. They must have seen the bomb on the feed because they made it there only seconds after he had unzipped. One of the officers pulled me behind an SUV while the other tried to talk him down. Roger took off running toward me, but he tripped and accidently set off the device before he could get close enough to kill me. I walked away with some shrapnel wounds and small third and second degree burns.

So other than some rather ridiculous plans that never came to be, that is the first time something, or someone, ever blew up in my face.” She shuddered out a laugh and rubbed her upper arms attempting to fight off the internal chill.

Placing a hand over one of hers, Oliver spoke. “I am sorry you had to go through that, and this may seem insensitive, but do you think your brother would have any information on this Roger? If he was connected to Darhk, we could uncover a whole trove of information.”

“I know he would. I can call him now and see if he can’t pass it to your boss.”

“That would be great, Agent Diggle can give him all the information he needs to get ahold of the director.” When Donna stood, so did Oliver. “You know that by pursuing this new lead, you are going to need to tell this story to Felicity, right?”

“I know. I just wish this is one of those times she was acting like she was asleep but she was really listening to the whole thing…” They both looked toward to bedroom door. When there was no movement Donna whispered “I am really worried about her.”

Me too, Oliver thought. He placed his hand on her shoulder with reassurance and turned to his team (who were currently acting like they hadn’t listened in on the entire conversation) “We need someone in the crime lab helping them sift through the debris and giving us up to date information on the bomber and their handiwork. Also, I need two of you to start on the outskirts of Henderson, working your way to North Vegas, searching for storage units Dahrk might have owned. Look for all his known aliases and ones that seem similar.”

“He went by Noah Kuttler when we were married.” Donna chimed in.

“I can call Iris,” Barry suggested, “She has sources everywhere, and might be able to find more details faster, especially with Cisco and Caitlin.”

Oliver nodded in agreement and with that, the team dispersed, looking for the smallest clue to lead them to the missing kids.

 Hours later Felicity finally stirred, her eyes dry and overly sensitive (which was saying something) and her throat scratchy. If this is what it was to be “normal” she could do without. After a few minutes of sitting on the bed in a fog, she walked listlessly to the en suite bathroom and rinsed her face, attempting to wash away the cobwebs. She realized that the face rinse wasn’t going to wake her up nearly enough, so she started the shower.

The sound of the water hitting the tiled shower wall drowned out the ambient noise that was always driving her to the brink of insanity. She stood beneath the near-scalding heat, letting the water beat the tension from her body and the haze from her mind. Her mind raced over the events of the day, trying to problem solve with minimal facts was only leaving more questions than solutions. It was only when she realized her hands were getting pruny that she shut off the faucet.

She stepped out of the shower and into the steamy bathroom, wrapped herself in the hotel’s luxurious robe, twisted her hair into a matching towel, and proceeded to brush her teeth. So what if it was almost dinner and her stomach was yelling at her? She was finally feeling human again (or as close as she gets at least). Her eyes no longer burned and her headache was only a horrible memory. Feeling miles better she went to the bedroom to get dressed and join the others in the main living area.

She stopped short when she saw Oliver standing just inside the closed door, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together in that adorable nervous way he has.  She let herself enjoy the sight of him for just a moment before reality dragged them back into its all too firm grip. He exuded strength and confidence even when he was worried or unsure, he was safety personified. His shifting stance and furrowed brow made her smile to herself.

“Are you alright? I’ve been worried. We’ve been worried. Your mom says you’ve never been sick. You slept for hours. Should we get an ARGUS medic here? Maybe Caitlyn?”

“I am much better now, Oliver. Diggle is probably right, it’s probably just the let down from the adrenaline rush. No need for a doctor. How long was I out?” She looked down, questions furrowing her own brow, “I woke up feeling like I ate sand. Or like I dipped my entire head into the sand like some sort of ostrich. Though I know they don’t actually…” She took a breath and looked up from her own fidgeting hands to see his smile. “I am good. If I start feeling anything like that again, you can call Caitlyn. Deal?”

“Deal.”

As they stood there smiling at each other, Felicity slowly came to the realization that she was wearing just a robe and a towel. Her eyes darted to the bed and back to him, and her heart started racing. She must be feeling better because she was beginning to have many ideas about how to get full use out of that large mattress. He seemed to sense her train of thought because his smile dropped, his eyes went half-lidded and he took a step toward her, matching her own determined steps. They met, not with a crash, but with a caress.

He cradled her face, tilting her chin upwards, and searching her face for the answer to a silent question. Her hand stroked his stubble, she bit her lip, smiled and gave him a nod. Yes, I am ready. He took a steadying breath and grinned.

“Later.” He promised. “When we don’t have half the agency in the hotel room with us.” He sealed that promise with a tender, lingering kiss. They parted when Felicity’s towel fell to the floor. Barry, Iris, Cisco and Caitlyn are looking at all the self-storage places between North Vegas and South Henderson. If they find anything suspicious, they’ll let us know. I’ll leave you to get dressed.” He backed toward the door his hands lingering on her until she was out of reach. “And there is almost an entire spread of Big Belly Burger out there. You might want to hurry before Barry gets back and eats it all.”

Her stomach growled in appreciation, drawing a chuckle from them both. Food was just the right motivator. She was dressed in record time.

#My fic #olicity fan fiction #olicity au #Lost and Found #Ekikamess #chapter 4 #ao3 #ffnet

[walkinginsolitude]

Abby

It's some day of the week that’s wedged too far between days off to matter much.

I’m on auto-pilot.

Delivering packages via bicicleta in the cold winter air of downtown Manhattan.

My phone startles me with a noise that only exists in this world because a bunch of assholes sat in a room somewhere dragging nails across chalkboards and throwing kittens at drumsets and listening to brunch conversations about intermittent fasting until they engineered the single most obnoxious sound ever heard.

It's an alert that I thought we had all agreed was only to be used when someone stole a kid.

But no, instead this sound scares the absolute shit out of me in order to let me know that “a winter squall is approaching”. It might as well say a “scoopty poop is coming” because I have no idea what the shit that means.

Either way the sky almost immediately falls dark. The temperature drops. Winds pick up. Snow begins blanketing down, which is just the cutest of all severe weather unless of course you’re the idiot in your family who didn’t go to law school and so is currently riding his bike around New York delivering packages.

Okay. Fine.

An hour or two pass.

I’m cold annoyed and considering applying to law school.

But I'm alright. It’s what I signed up for.

Until some young meat popsicle who clearly attended business school walks directly into the bike path without looking which just has a terrible ROI as I'm forced to swerve brake slip and tumble across the pavement and into a gaggle of other business humans.

Okay. Fine.

I lay there for a minute more due to the cumulative shittiness of the day than the bumps and bruises of the fall.

I am a bit shaken up though.

Never fun to fall off your bike in the streets of NYC. It's sort of like the world’s longest, stupidest game of russian roulette.

Fine. The only way through the day is through the day. Back on the bike. Back to work. I can be resilient. Take it in stride.

I’m riding slower now. But not too slow because it’s absolutely freezing. The snow is still piling up with no signs of stopping. Thank God no children were actually taken, because you're not finding no kids in this squall.

So I’m working. Shaking off the gitters of the fall. Finding shelter where I can.

My phone goes off again. This time far too softly for the message it's delivering.

It’s a text that reads: “Abby is stopping chemo. She’s going into hospice. She’s not going to make it.”

………………. Shit. …….

…. Bu……

…………….

Fuck.

I get back on my bike again trying as best I can to compartmentalize my feelings. Not be overwhelmed. Don’t be overwhelmed, Don’t be overwhelmed. Focus up.

The snow doesn't matter. The physical pain doesn’t matter. You'll have to think about Abby later.

I can't.

I can't.

The harder I try not to think about her the more overwhelmed I become. Until she is ALL I'm thinking of.

I’m not even looking at the street anymore.

I fall from my bike again.

I’m crying.

Keeping my head down while delivering packages so the recipients won't see my eyes.

I can’t control my feelings. I'm drowning.

Thinking of Abby.

She's been battling ovarian cancer for some time and is now apparently preparing for the end.

To be fair her and I were never all that close.

We went to a small boarding school together had some close mutual friends kept in sparse contact throughout the years.

And in typical Abby fashion she never cried for help or asked for attention.

It was only when things got too bad to ignore that her friends betrayed her orders of privacy and let those who love her know her situation.

I’m thinking of this Woman. This Beautiful Vivacious Kind 33 yrs old Woman, who in every cliche way that people talk about the dying IS TRULY, HUMBLY, WONDERFUL.

In high school everyone seemed trapped in their egos. Consumed by insecurity.

Abby didn't.

She wasn't too cool or more mature, just refreshingly devoid of teenage self-centeredness.

She was always genuine. Inquisitive. Joyful. Real.

She has the type of smile that only free people have.

And she is.

A free soul.

Every step along the way that I've been fortunate enough to share with Abby she always seemed free. She always seemed connected.

And so I think of Abby with her whole life ahead of her. That bright, infectious smile. That spirit to really live. Going through this.

Falling ill. Getting the horrible news: You might die. Putting on a brave face.

But life looks different now.

All your friends are traveling getting married having kids going to the beach talking politics.

And you’re just surviving.

In and out of chemo. All the medication. The fear. The loneliness.

And I wonder, beyond all of this unimaginable physical pain and suffering she endured, when it was that she first truly allowed the possibility of dying to enter her mind. A young, vibrant, talented, joyous woman in her early 30s now coming to terms with the realities of her illness.

Think about that. It’s worth your real consideration. What it must be like to face that.

For no good reason your life might be Ending.

How does that feel? What do you do? How could she find the strength to fight with that looming over her? What did she think about every day? How insanely scared are you? It’s unimaginable. It’s not fair.

And now to know for certain that this Is the End.

At 33.

To go into hospice and literally prepare for death. It’s FUCKED.

It’s a concept that fills ME with so much anger and frustration and sorrow that I can barely breathe when I think about it and I’m just some asshole who knew her 15 years ago. This poor, amazing woman who I sincerely believe deserves to be alive more than I do if life was fair, has to actually go through it. It’s FUCKED.

And so I’m biking in the squall in the cold scraped and bruised crying thinking of Abby absorbing the news. I am miserable in a way that I haven’t known in a very long time.

But then I think about just what Abby would give to trade places with me in that exact moment.

To be riding a bike out in the world in the beautiful snow in a beautiful city with her health and her life ahead of her.

She would be smiling that bright beautiful effortless smile. She might be singing. She might stop to take a photo of the large white snowflakes falling in the light of dusk on the east river before getting back on the bike and navigating the world. Her beautiful blonde curls floating in the air behind her.

She would be living.

That realization helped me a bit.

There is a thing that happens any time we hear about tragedy. About death. When we are forced to acknowledge through other’s pain and suffering our own mortality.

To recognize that we are just a bunch of sentient organisms on a spinning rock with no fucking clue why we are here or where we go when we die.

Some time after I first learned about Abby having cancer I was thinking about her and I saw a beautiful flock of birds flying through the air doing that weird thing birds do where they all move as one through the sky in those quick erratic motions. It seemed unfathomable to understand how they could all know which way to go and when exactly to turn. How do they do it? Who's steering?

I watched them and thought about wedding rings.

This million or billion dollar industry that seemingly everyone has accepted is just the way we do things. So much so that a bunch of children in Africa are literally physically abused into finding shiny rocks in the ground that are then sent to these other parts of the world where people have running water and 3D printers. And they take these rocks and put them on top of this very shiny metal which, I’m sure, also has some fucked up back story as to how it got to be sitting in this display case at Zales somewhere in Rhode Island. And then this man (it’s a man because the bird flock decided this was the man’s job and so all the birds just instinctively turned left) goes into the store and buys this metal/rock thingamabob that costs something like 120 days of his life, which, again, like, who the fuck is steering? And he takes this shiny metal rock thing and brings it to a woman he’s known for two and a half years who likes the same netflix shows as him but doesn’t know that he occasionally does cocaine and he gets down on one knee at the fanciest restaurant in Providence and puts the shiny thing on this lady he kind of knows finger and they begin a promise to be with one another forever even though there are something like 2020 years of glaring statistics that the likelihood of all this working out or keeping them happy is like 1 in 40. All the other bird humans in the fancy restaurant get up and applaud. They kiss and smile at each other take in the moment and at the very-first-socially-acceptable-moment they announce their engagement online with a photo that is cute, subtle and funny, catches them both at their most symmetrical, supports the troops and only takes a full hour of attempts to finally get the shot where they don't look like they are trying. Then they reminisce about their relationship call their loved ones, buy a round for the birds sitting next to them, she cringes, thinking of how upset her older, unmarried sister will by by the news, he smiles thinks about all that blow they are going to do at his bachelor party, but more than anything they just keep looking down at their phones to see how many likes that engagement announcement got. It ends up being 324, and that feels pretty good.

And I just hope that something, somewhere is watching all of us do all of this saying “what the fuck? Why are they all doing that? How is it possible that none of them just stray off and do their own thing?” Which is exactly what I was thinking about watching the birds.

And then thinking of Abby. And Life. And Death.

What I took from it is that nobody knows what's going on. None of these systems or paths make any sense. Forget about a career. Or money. Or beauty. Or soul mates. Forget all of it. What do you want? For you? Not the flock. Because one day, sooner or later, you’re going to die.

So live you’re fucking life while you can.

I like to believe that Abby did that well. Maybe I only feel that way because she has passed now, but I don’t think so. I really believe that woman knew how to live and who she was. And if you don’t know her it would only take seeing a photo of her or by her to feel the same.

And so I’m left with a painful reminder of our mortality. Just how important and beautiful and fleeting life is. That even on your worst most mundane day in the middle of the winter in the middle of a squall with truly terrible news in your mind there is still beauty to be found lessons to be learned reasons to be present because your friend who is dying or that kid in a ditch in Africa mining shiny rocks would love to have that moment. Every day above ground is an insane gift. And that is an important lesson to continue to learn.

But it does absolutely nothing to change the fact that an exceptional young woman went through hell on Earth and is now gone.

Nothing will change that. And I certainly won’t do any justice in articulating just how tragic that truly is. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just unfair.

And so I’ll end by saying that I genuinely feel very fortunate to have had the pleasure of knowing Abby the little that I did. You were an amazing person and I am so incredibly sorry that you had to go through all of this. You deserved better. I wish I could have told you this in person.

Goodbye Abby Kraftowitz. And thank you.

#poem #poetry #writing #spilled ink #death