#really hope someone sues their asses and soon

[childhoodgrave]

please do not fall for staff claiming trans womens faces being labeled mature is a “bug” i have had nudes and cis women in lingerie blazed to me CONSTANTLY with zero content labels or warnings, clearly any labels being added to posts are done by people. that and any text posts criticizing staffs rampant terf and nazi problem being labeled mature as well. it is very blatant obvious transmisogyny on staffs end and theyre giving up a flimsy excuse to try and avoid liability

#really hope someone sues their asses and soon #transmisogyny #deleted the part of this post where i mentioned legal lisbility cause i said it in the moment thinking abt how they were sued for #discrimination recently and thats what came to mind but really its just liability in the general sense

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

Loki S2E1 Review: A Triumphant Return? Or Just More Smoke and Mirrors?

A review by Lena, because I promised.

**SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODE BELOW THE CUT!** **READ AFTER WATCHING THE EPISODE OR AT YOUR PERIL!**

Everyone knows my opinion on Season 1 of Loki, and how I find it an insult to character who went through over a decade of progress, only to be featured as the whipping boy in the show that bears his name, while a cipher of a Sue takes the spotlight in all of her brashness to such an extent that I kept wishing she’d be stuck in a goddamn elevator.

Lol, dreams do come true (kinda).

My rolling internal conflicts with the show made it a very difficult decision for me to even choose to give Season 2 a chance. Do I suck it up and try to see what most viewers seem to with a repeat watch of S1? Or do I stand by my (admittedly, annoyingly negative and isolating) opinions and just wait for the onslaught of delicious gif-fitry of Hiddleston’s ass the SAS Sisterhood would soon bring forth?

The only thing tipping the scales was the promise in the early release reviews that Sylvie would be scaled back, if not in screentime, at least in level of abusiveness and misery that we’re supposed to identify with. So, onward I went.

THE STORY I was expecting S2’s overall plot to be “ The Cunt Hunt for Sylvie” from the get go, but surprised to see how little they chose to use her in the first episode.

So almost immediately after Sylvie was a giant butt and risked the entirety of creation itself for the sake of personal revenge, Loki starts Apparating zapping across time and space seemingly randomly. Kang the Wifebeater Conqueror is taking over and has a giant Mount Rushmore monument in the middle of the TVA to remind everyone that it really doesn’t matter how terrible of as person you are, Disney will continue to hire you if they’ve already hired you enough times.

We find Loki running from the TVA and Mobius, proving once again that his hair alone deserves an Emmy, before yeeting himself off a balcony and casually watching as an innocent hovertruck driver falls to her death at the 4:08 timestamp.

We’re off to a banger start?

In a scene with more ridiculous accents than a Long Islander remake of Braveheart, B-15 and Mobius try to convince Professor McGonagall’s Nazi Sister that the new timelines shouldn’t be closed, as now there are people living in those timelines, and closing the loop would essentially be genocide. B-15 is pretty great. I forget about them.

The scene with OB is the best in the episode, and it does a good job at being funny and expository without getting difficult to follow. My eyes were also thankful for the brief change in the color filters to something with more contrast and light.

**HAIRWHIPHAIRWHIPHAIRWHIPHAIRWHIP** Ten points to Gryffindor.

I had to go back and re-watch the scenes leading up to the episode’s climax because I didn’t catch what they were doing at first. I hope they don’t make this a pattern again. We need less complication, more character development.

2.75 out of 5 Sexy Leather Holsters for being engaging and Sylvie-minimal, but hard to follow in parts, and while I smelled it coming a mile away, I’m not going to be at all impressed by the “Where in the World is Sylvie Sandiego?” thing.

THE CHARACTERS/ACTING It’s a little off-putting to watch the characters themselves through some inconsistent writing, but the acting shines through regardless, which I expected from Frame 1.  

At times I swear Mobius is autistic or ADHD-coded, at least somewhat, in the way he stops what he’s doing to express his special interests whenever they’re brought up. I’m sure he isn’t supposed to be, but as someone who has two sisters with autism, I still get some neurodivergent vibes off of Mobius, but that’s more of a personal note.

Tom and Owen still have infinitely better chemistry than Tom and Sophia. The banter between them is pretty fun, although in a few spots it gets kind of Mac-and-Dennis-y from Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and the talking over one another once in a while goes on for a second or two too long.

Rando girl in the elevator is the champion of the episode.

Ke Huy Quan is going to be a fan favorite on the level of Wandavision’s Randall Park (who we NEVER got our show about, btw). His Q-like character (Ourboros, but called OB) is always the highlight of his featured scenes, and a lot of it is just because Ke Huy Quan just exudes excitement and enthusiasm the whole time. I want to hug him. I hope this wasn’t his one episode and that he’s a recurring character. I just want to see his Pinchers of Peril save the day again.

3.75 out of 5 Sexy Leather Holsters for wonderful acting and a memorable new character, but I had to take a few points off for those stupid accents in the board room scene and not really doing much otherwise with Fascism Braveheart.

THE PRODUCTION My theory is that Loki is the most successful of the MCU shows for two reasons: 1- Tom Hiddleston’s incredible appeal as the title character, and 2- the production values are both higher and more cinematic overall than many of the other MCU shows, most of which take place on Present Day Earth and try to rely more on special effects and savvy camerawork than environment to wow the audience (Wandavision aside). Undeniably, Loki resembles a film more than any of them, and therefore, it easier to appeal to a broader audience…

…but is it?

S1 of Loki was creative in terms of setting, but the screen itself was often so dark I thought I was watching Season 3 of A Handmaid’s Tale, so how does one enjoy the talent behind the scenes if the scenes themselves are hard to make out? The filters are still a little overused so far, but I’d call S2 an upgrade, if only because I can see more of what’s going on.

I’ll admit that the 70s aesthetic wasn’t my favorite in the beginning (esp because I’m not particularly fond of the soupy colors and odd designs of the decade), but it’s growing on me a bit more here. The haziness gives the TVA a musty, claustrophobic feel, like it would smell vaguely of sawdust and cleaning fluid if you breathed it in.

The animation at the climax was quite pretty to look at, and the soundtrack continues to be the show’s boon.

4.25 out of 5 Sexy Leather Holsters

MY THOUGHTS AND FINAL GRADE This episode’s purpose was to examine the consequences of Sylvie’s actions at the end of S1, and for some reason, it chose to do so without her present for most of it. Not once was it suggested that she should face punishment, and in fact, she is seen in her few scenes as even more of a victim than S1, quickly becoming Loki’s purpose and motivation yet again without doing anything but stumbling into an Oklahoma McDonalds and asking for one of everything like a stoner on payday.

So much of this episode was Tom Hiddleston running around full tilt, and to that I say…brilliant. I could watch those cheeks clap for days.  Also, I’ll give the creative team credit, they finally seemed to understand that Tom’s hair is an actor unto itself and deserves some spotlight (I wish it was longer though…Ragnarok Hair Supremacy!). Nine out of ten mangos for thirst-quenching.

I'll give it props, I was engaged until the somewhat-muddled climactic activities (I needed a few rewinds to understand what Mobius was doing in the Sontaran costume). It certainly reads like Disney banked everything on this season doing well, with S2E1 still showing off the higher budget and more cinematic feel that the other MCU shows generally lack. I have no doubt it will pull in enough views for them to re-consider a S3. I'm still clenching a bit on what comes next, though.

I I'll go on to episode 2, but I reserve the right to stop at any time.

My theory: The Mysterious Pruner was OB.

3 out of 5 Sexy Leather Holsters overall for the episode.

SAS TAGGIES: @holdmytesseract @lokisgoodgirl @gigglingtiggerv2 @gruftiela

#loki #loki season 2 #episode 1 review #loki season 2 review

[ieroween1031]

My Thoughts in Real Time as I Watched Episode 13 of Love in the Air That Absolutely Nobody Asked For:

- IM SO EXCITED I CANT BREATHE

- I can’t believe this is the (second to) last time I’m gonna see this intro, I already want to cry

- Fucking Sig, I love him so much.

- Can we get a spin-off just dedicated to Sig?

- Rain, you nosy motherfucker. We love you for this.

- Also, I’m so totally here for Sky finally not holding back his emotions. Agreeing to give Pai a ‘prize’ if he wins? We love to see it.

- Prapai’s posting picture of Sky on his Instagram? I’m fucking dead.

- These episode names are too much. Can’t do it!

- Aww, little baby Sky.

- Sky smoking? Oof. I don’t care how gross it is, smoking is hot. Sue me.

- If that was really the first time Sky took a drag of a cigarette, he’d have coughed it all back out. The first few cigarettes as a new smoker suck, and they fucking hurt.

- On that note, don’t smoke, kids! It’s bad for you!

- I knew that it was gonna be Gun, and as soon as I saw him, I honest to god growled. Fucker.

- Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. (To myself and to Sky)

- Listen to your friends, Sky!

- Okay, smoking’s not hot when this fucking dickbag does it.

- This should go without saying, but for everyone out there reading this, don’t let anyone take advantage of you or hurt you unless you’re into it. Don’t go along with shit you’re not comfortable with just to prove that you love someone. Fuck them, fuck their feelings, protect yourself.

- Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

- Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I don’t wanna watch this.

- I can’t imagine how hard this was for Peat. The reaction video is gonna hurt.

- Fuck, I hope someone kills this fucking asshole.

- I know this is an emotional scene, but I’m losing my shit over Pai calling Sky ‘baby’

- THIS FUCKING COCKMONGER AGAIN?

- Take your fucking eyes off of him and wipe that smirk off your face, you shitbird.

- Fluffy PrapaiSky will be the death of me.

- I’m so proud of Sky for not being afraid and being able to admit how he feels. My sweet baby has come so far!

- The look of terror on Sky’s face when he didn’t know who was hugging him is just one giant foreshadow and I hate it.

- “My lucky star” 😭😭😭😭

- Payu is 1000% done with Pai’s lovesick ass like he probably wasn’t just as bad a few months ago.

- We need more Payu/Sky and Prapai/Rain. The boyfriend/best friend dynamic is so freaking cute.

- Every time I see that bastard, I get so fucking angry.

- I was gonna yell at Sky to run as soon as he saw Gun, but I remember when someone who looked like my abuser walked into my job and I shut down and just completely froze, so I understand why he couldn’t run.

- It’s absolutely killing me that Pai knows that Petch is a slimy little snake, but that he doesn’t know why.

- Yes, Sky! You stand up for yourself! Your man loves you, and don’t forget it!

- Rain, I know you’re trying to be helpful, but I kinda wanna smack you.

- Rain really is a gold(fish)en retriever, isn’t he? Head empty, no thoughts, attention span that only lasts two seconds, but damn it, he’s a good boy that’s trying his best.

- I feel nauseous watching Sky walk into that apartment.

- You fucking liars. I’m so angry.

- I’m so glad that Sky doesn’t believe them. It’s amazing to see how much he’s changed.

- Sky Protection Squad in full force, yes! Go rescue him!

- Where the fuck are Rain and Payu while Pai and Gun are in the bedroom? Are they just making tea with the other assholes that were in the apartment? Come on, guys.

- Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

- Love him to death, but for the love of method acting, someone please teach Fort how to properly throw a punch.

- He should have killed him. And Payu should have hit Petch, too.

- I don’t know what hurts more, Sky being catatonic and not being able to cry, or Pai sobbing for him.

- He brought him home. Like, home, home.

- That picture of the two of them on Pai’s desk, I could cry.

- I don’t even have any more thoughts, I’m just happy that Gun and Stop are gone, all four of my boys are happy, and that Pai knows everything about Sky now.

- There are a bunch of scenes from the novel that I’m sad were not in the series, but that could be a whole separate post.

- WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?

- Aside from finish KinnPorsche (I still have two episodes left), catch up on Remember Me and Between Us, binge all the other shows I have on my To Watch list, and tear my hair out waiting for Just Say Yes.

- Excuse me while I rewatch the entire series over and over.

#ieroween1031 og #sawyer’s lita thoughts #love in the air #love sky #love storm #love in the air spoilers #love in the air ep13 #payu #prapai #rain #Sky #payu love in the air #prapai love in the air #sky love in the air #rain love in the air #prapaisky #prapai x sky #payurain #payu x rain #fort thitipong #peat wasuthorn #fortpeat #fort x peat #boss chaikamon #noeul nuttarat #bossnoeul #boss x noeul

[thorfemmes]

Hii I hope you’re doing well 💜 I was wondering if you could write a reader x Eddie where reader works at the movie theatre and Eddie is like hardcore crushing on her? Like he even buys tickets to movies he doesn’t care to see just because he wants to see her/interact with her. You can choose how it ends. Thanks hun 💜

hi! I'm doing well, thank you! this was so self-indulgent, I loved writing it. my first job was at a movie theater and if anyone like Eddie would've flirted with me I probably would've melted. I hope you enjoy!

It was innocent at first, Eddie's visits to the movie theater. He and the Hellfire boys made it a point to go to $2 movie nights every week, and you just happened to work those nights.

At first it was just small smiles, fingertips gently brushing against each other when you handed him his ticket or his popcorn. But when he came in one night wearing a homemade Lord of the Rings shirt and you complimented him? Well he was a goner.

He started coming in more frequently, using the excuse that he really wanted to see Pretty in Pink three times. Eventually better movies started coming out so his excuses got better, but his facade was still flimsy. It all came to a head when Eddie and the boys went to see Little Shop of Horrors together.

"Hey Eddie! Back again?" You smiled. He was secretly your favorite customer, slowly harboring a small crush on the boy.

"You know it, sweetheart".

It was the nicknames, you thought. They made you weak in the knees. "How was Peggy Sue?

"Peggy Sue?" Dustin interrupted. "As in Peggy Sue Got Married? Why on earth were you seeing tha-".

Eddie shoved the boy a bit hard with his shoulder, giving him a wide-eyed look.

"I'm just trying to immerse myself in the cinematic culture, Dustin. You wouldn't understand," Eddie said, watching as you giggled at the interaction.

"I don't know," You said. "I'm not sure Crocodile Dundee is really a part of that cinematic culture".

Dustin laughed and looked at Eddie for some sort of explanation.

"Um, we've gotta go. Show starts soon". With that he grabbed the popcorn and candy from the counter and walked away quickly.

"Oh okay, bye!" You called after him.

"He really likes you, y'know?" Dustin said.

"What, really?"

"He can barely pay attention to the things that peak his interest. Him willingly seeing shitty movies? He has to have some sort of ulterior motive. Not to mention how he blushes when you laugh at his jokes". With that the boy walked away to join the rest of the group in the theater.

When the movie finished up it was well past closing time. Inching towards almost 2:00 am, you were exhausted and waiting for your ride outside. The boys walked out of the building, all separating and saying their goodbyes when Eddie caught your eye.

"Hey doll, why are you still here?"

"Well someone has to clean the soda nozzles. Could ask you the same thing though". You stepped closer to him under the light of the building. The neon reds and purples shadowing the curves and contours of his face.

"Well you know, cheesy musicals and plant puppets keep me up really late".

Grinning, you stepped the tiniest bit closer. "So, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot".

"Why do you keep coming to see these movies? There's no way you actually enjoy watching half of these films".

Eddie felt his face grow warm as he broke eye contact to look at the ground. "You caught me, doll. I'm just a really big fan of Red Vines and Coke".

You laughed loudly, jokingly shoving him.

"No, but really. Why do you come so often?"

"Um, can I be honest?" You nodded. "I kinda have the biggest crush on this employee. She looks real pretty in that ugly ass uniform she has to wear. She also scoops the best popcorn and sneaks me free upgrades when I can't afford to see 3D films because she claims it heightens the experience".

You felt your face warm. "Well if I'm being honest, I kinda have this crush on a regular that comes in all the time. Wild hair, drinks his Coke through Red Vines as if they're a proper straw".

The two of you grinned at each other.

"Well doll, it seems like we should both do something about these crushes, huh? Would you maybe want to go out with me? I promise it doesn't have to be a movie if you're tired of smelling like buttered popcorn".

"I'd really love that, Eddie".

Maybe it was worth seeing all those shitty movies after all.

a/n: let's pretend all these '86 movies came out around the same time

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x plus size reader #writing #stranger things fic #stranger things #ask

[oliverreedmasterass]

Part 4!

Credits to @starcatcherkiszka​ for the fic idea!! 

In case you want something to listen to while you read: ✨Summer of 69 Playlist✨

Words: 6.8k

Warnings: language, drinking

Synopsis: Greta Van Fleet somehow manages to travel back in time to the Summer of 69, during the Woodstock Art and Music festival. You can only imagine what hijinks they’re going to get up to. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

----------------------------------------------------------

“Get warmed up, Danny,” Josh beamed. “We’re going on after Melanie.”

“No we’re not,” Danny’s voice hardened. 

“Told you he wouldn’t go for it,” Jake told Josh. Josh crossed his arms and turned back to Danny with a new look of determination plastered on his face. Danny scowled back. 

“Be grateful, Danny. You’re gonna get to say you played at Woodstock.” 

“I’m tired of you guys not taking me seriously.” 

Sam whistled; it was rare for Danny to stand up to any of them. 

“I’m tired of you acting like you’ve got a stick shoved up your ass,” Josh gave Danny a dirty look. 

“Josh,” Jake raised his voice. “That’s too far.” 

Danny’s face remained placid, but it was clear that there was a fire raging within him. Josh looked like he was ready to keep hounding Danny, which Danny was more than likely to respond to with a fist in Josh’s face. It was a miracle that Carlos Santana walked past them at that moment. All four of them dropped their mouths in awe. 

“Are you going up there soon?” Carlos jutted his thumb at the stage. 

They looked around at each other, unsure what to say. Carlos seemed unbothered by the silence since he leaned back on the front of the stage and scanned over the crowd with a twinkle in his eyes. 

“Me and my guys are playing tomorrow. We’re all pretty nervous, but the people here seem to love anything, as long as it’s loud and has a good beat to it. That’s the kind of crowd I’ll gladly play for. This whole thing is far out.” Carlos pursed his lips together and shook his head, like he couldn’t believe his luck.

Danny looked like he was thinking hard. 

“One of our guys is getting cold feet,” Josh spoke up. 

“Bummer, man,” Carlos tsked. “You’d think being in a place like this would set you free. I hope your buddy can lighten up and get out there. I’m sure he’ll regret it otherwise.” 

Carlos’ face brightened when he saw someone off in the distance that he recognized and pushed himself back upright from the stage. 

“I hope to see you up there,” he waved goodbye to them. 

“Bye, Carlos Santana,” Jake mumbled in awe.

“Did Carlos’ words resonate?” Josh turned back to Danny. “If Carlos Santana is saying you should play, you should probably play.” 

“You know I could break you over my leg if I wanted to,” Danny replied. 

“You need your space, got it,” Josh took a few steps away from him. 

“But I’ll do it,” Danny added after a long pause. They all whipped around to face him in shock. 

“But what about the butterfly effect?” Jake’s eyes were wide. 

“I’m sure we’ve already screwed up the future,” Danny admitted. “We might as well enjoy ourselves. What was it you said earlier, Sam? Fuck it, we ball?” 

“I’m sorry about the stick up your ass comment,” Josh cautiously moved back to Danny’s side to give him a loving pat on the back. “If anything, the stick was really just a twig.” 

“Just remember that I could break you in half,” Danny reminded Josh.

“Of course,” Josh paled at the thought of being snapped.

“I have one condition though,” Danny continued while he was on a roll. “We go by a different name.” 

“What’s wrong with Greta Van Fleet?” Jake asked. 

“If and when we make it back to our time, I don’t want to get caught up in a lawsuit with ourselves over our band name.” 

“That would be pretty funny though,” Sam looked to be imagining the court session with a goofy grin on his face. “I’ve always wanted to sue myself.” 

“Why don’t we pull a Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young?” Jake tried to brainstorm. 

“What would that be?” Sam broke out of his daydream to cackle. “Kiszka, Kiszka, Kiszka & Wagner?” 

“We should do pseudonyms,” Josh suggested. Danny clapped his hands together at the thought. 

“You can be Harry Dickface,” he pointed at Josh. 

“Still bitter about the stick up the ass comment, noted,” Josh grumbled. 

“We could make an acronym with the first initial of all our names,” Sam spoke over Josh. “What could we do with S, D, J, and J?” 

“JJ and the Salty Dogs?” Josh’s face brightened. 

“I mean,” Danny thought it over. “If you had started a band in the 60s, you definitely would have called yourself that.” 

“All I can think of is Semen Dick Juicy Juice,” Sam admitted. “That’s the best my brain can do.” 

“All in favor of JJ and the Salty Dogs?” Josh asked around, raising a hand. Sam and Danny joined him, but Jake studied the ground. Josh stared onwards at his twin and then cleared his throat. “All in favor of Semen Dick Juicy Juice?” With a bright smile, Jake lifted his hand up to the sky. 

“JJ and the Salty Dogs it is,” Danny announced. 

“It’s not a unanimous vote?” Jake looked disappointed. 

“You really want to go out there as Semen Dick Juicy Juice?” Josh couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His brother was usually so serious about his music. 

“It’s funny,” Jake lifted his shoulders. Josh scoffed at his brother and turned back to Sam and Danny, who had redirected their focus to the end of Ravi Shankar’s set. 

“We need to head backstage to figure out our instruments,” he shared. The guy who had promised them a spot in the lineup hadn’t sounded all that concerned about the fact that Josh and his band had no instruments. In his words, they just had to “go with the flow.” 

“Backstage at Woodstock!” Jake whooped as he threw two peace signs up. A few people around them stared at Jake in confusion, so Josh grabbed Jake’s shoulders and steered him away from the crowd so he would stop making a fool of himself. 

Josh was relieved that it didn’t take too long for them to spot the backstage manager he had talked to earlier. He was moving some heavy looking crates, but stopped and embraced Josh in a warm hug when he noticed him. 

“Nice to see you, brother!” he exclaimed. 

“Dave, this is my band,” Josh released from Dave to motion to his brothers. “We’re gonna need to figure out our instruments before we head on stage.” 

“Right on,” Dave clapped his hands together and nodded. “You guys are in luck, we just got some gear shipped in for the bands playing tomorrow. I doubt they would mind if you borrowed some stuff for your set. Most of them aren’t here yet anyway, they won’t know the difference.” 

“Is that really how they did it in the 60s?” Sam whispered to Danny in awe. “I wouldn’t want someone else touching my bass.” 

“Here, I’ll let you take a look,” Dave motioned for them to follow behind him. The next thing they knew, they were standing in front of a pile of guitar and drum cases sitting unattended in the grass behind the large stage. “Have at it.” 

Jake moved towards a battered guitar case that looked promising and felt his heart thunder in his chest when he unhooked the latches and was face to face with Pete Townshend’s SG Gibson. 

“No way,” Josh looked over his shoulder. “That looks like yours.” 

“Dude,” Jake had to clear his throat to keep his voice from cracking. “This is Pete fucking Townshend’s.” 

“Are you gonna play it?” 

“Fucking hell,” Jake shook his head. “Of course I am, as long as Pete doesn’t find out. He would probably have my head on a stake if he knew I was touching this.” 

“Good pick,” Dave came up behind Jake. “That one’s a beauty. And probably destined to be smashed on stage tomorrow night. I’m glad she’ll get a few solid plays in before her ultimate demise.” 

Jake held the guitar closer to him, as if to protect it from any harm. 

Sam was gazing down at a cherry red Guild Starfire with a deep look of contemplation. 

“It’s got quadraphonic pickups,” he admired, poking down at the body of the bass guitar. Danny joined him and studied the instrument. 

“That looks like a Phil Lesh bass,” he said. Sam studied the case closer and, lo and behold, the Grateful Dead’s bassist’s name was etched into the inside lid in a gold font. 

“Well, shit, I guess this will have to do.” 

“Hey, Danny!” Josh called a few yards away, stationed in front of a collection of boxed up drum parts. 

“Yeah?” 

“This kit says Doug Clifford on it!” 

That was all Danny needed to hear to rush over to Josh’s side. Doug “Cosmo” Clifford’s drums had a richness to them that Danny had always admired on Creedence Clearwater Revival’s records. He was sure a lot of their sound had to do with Cosmo himself, but having the opportunity to even touch his kit brought Danny a joy he couldn’t turn down.

“I’ll gladly play that,” Danny stated, without even inspecting the kit. He had seen it at the Musical Instruments Museum on an off day when they were playing a gig in Phoenix a few years back. Sure, the kit wasn’t flashy like something Keith Moon played, but it was simple and it was perfect for Danny’s style. 

“Feeling good?” Dave checked in with everyone. 

“I’ll take whatever microphone Janis is singing with,” Josh placed an order with Dave, who replied with a hearty laugh, 

“All singers are using the same mic, don’t worry.” 

With their instrument situation settled, everyone was feeling a bit more at ease, all things considered. Though none of them were planning to openly admit it aloud, they were all feeling pretty anxious about going out on stage. Carlos Santana had a point that the crowd was a good and accepting one, but taking a second to consider the weight of what they were about to do was too overwhelming to bear. 

Sam was grateful that they could keep themselves distracted by putting all of their attention into creating a setlist while Melanie took the stage. After asking them what their group name was so they could announce it over the PA, Dave disclosed that they had a 30 minute time slot to play however many songs they could fit. He added with a wink that the hippies in the crowd liked songs they could get lost in. Josh, Jake, Sam, and Danny all took that to heart as they sat in a circle backstage, trying to recall their best songs. 

“We play a compilation of our favorite songs, how about that?” Josh thought aloud as he tapped his pen on his chin. “So that way we aren’t just copying our setlists from the future.” 

“Considering how long I go with my solos, we’re only gonna be able to play three songs,” Jake realized. 

“I’ll just kick you when you’re playing for too long,” Josh promised. Jake made a face.

“Please don’t do that.” 

They got into a few arguments along the way but finally gathered a list of songs that felt right. Their timing was impeccable since they had just enough time for Josh to go through his vocal warm ups and Sam to rush around the backstage area looking for any kind of liquid courage. 

Everything really started to feel real when Dave took the stage and tapped on the microphone a few times. 

“We’ve got a treat for you all this evening,” his voice boomed over the crowd. “A new band showed up and was added to the lineup at the last minute. Trust me, they’ve got a sound you’re gonna dig. Give it up for JJ and the Salty Dogs!” 

Jake had Pete Townshend’s guitar strapped to him and, even though it was unplugged, he could  feel its power buzzing in his hands. He took one look out at the audience from the side stage and quickly closed his eyes. He knew that he would be able to get through their set because his muscle memory was intact and they had all been playing for long enough that they knew how to cover for one another if things went south. But he always wanted to play at his absolute best, so the pressure was still there. He had a bad feeling it was going to take him a while to get used to the Gibson since, like Pete Townshend, he was sure it had a bite to it. 

From behind Jake, Sam had his arm wrapped around Danny’s shoulder. It was a relief that Danny had come around and decided it would be worthwhile to play at Woodstock. On top of that, Sam was over the moon that Danny looked as excited as he felt. He had ditched the white tunic backstage so he was back to showing off his exposed chest, and he held his drumsticks in both hands at the ready. 

“This is gonna be great,” Danny leaned further into Sam’s side. 

“They’re not ready for this,” Sam agreed. 

At the back of the line, Josh was bouncing from foot to foot, shaking out his arms to remove all the negative energy. His voice had cracked a few times during his warmup which was a point of concern, but Josh tried not to fret on it too much. He was sure that his voice was just a little roughed up from how much he had shouted with joy during Ravi Shankar’s set. Traveling through time also probably wasn’t great on his vocal cords. 

Dave stepped away from center stage and motioned for them to climb up the staircase. 

“Give it your all,” he beamed as he passed them by. Jake sucked in a deep breath to calm his racing mind and led the way up the stage. The audience gave a hearty clap at his entrance which helped clear his head, and he hurried to the amps to plug his guitar in. After testing out a few chords, Jake nodded his head. The sound was a lot more raw than he was used to, but he loved how the guitar popped and snapped like it had a life of its own. 

“GOOD EVENING,” Josh hollered into the microphone from center stage. Danny tested out the cymbals on the Cosmo kit and let out a whoop in glee. “WE ARE GRE-JJ AND THE SALTY DOGS,” Josh continued. “COMING TO YOU FROM ANOTHER WORLD.” The audience greeted that announcement with loud cheers. “Ready?” Josh turned around to check in with the band. 

“Count us in,” Jake nodded. 

“One, two, one, two, three, four,” Josh called over his shoulder. Sam broke into the mesmerizing intro to “Age of Man,” using Bert Sommer’s keys that had been left on stage from his set earlier in the day. Josh gazed out over the crowd and closed his eyes in euphoria. 

“In an age of darkness light appears, and it wards away the ancient fears, march to the anthem of the heart, to a brand new day, a brand new start.” 

Claps echoed across the grounds when Jake and Danny joined in and Josh took a step back from the microphone to nod to the music. He was glad to see that, at least within the first thirty or so rows of people, they were all standing and swaying to the music, lifting their arms up towards the heavens. He looked to his left and grinned when he saw that Jake was entirely in his element, squeezing his eyes shut and arching his back with every note hit so he was one with the music that was pouring from his guitar. 

“And as we came into the clear, to find ourselves where we are here.” Josh’s voice had never felt more powerful. A good handful of people in the crowd seemed to call out in shock at how good they were sounding, which only motivated Josh to give even more. Danny, Sam, and Jake all seemed to feel the same way, because there was a kind of magic to what they were doing. While they knew that they sounded good during their usual shows, it was almost as if they truly were exploring through the history of humanity and taking the wide expanse of people in front of them on the journey. 

The song ended and the roar of approval was deafening. 

“Holy shit,” Jake bumped into Josh’s side. “They like it.” 

“We’re playing at Woodstock!” Sam couldn’t help but shout from behind the keys. 

“And we don’t sound like shit!” Danny added. Josh beamed at his bandmates and then returned back to the microphone since the cheers were dying down and replaced with a feeling of eager anticipation for their next song. 

“Thank you,” Josh said, hoping he sounded as sincere as he felt. “This next one is, well, it’s pretty fitting for the occasion. It’s called Flower Power.” 

The audience seemed to be a fan of the name alone, which Josh had to laugh at. 

“Dig it!” he shouted into the microphone and then pointed at Jake to start the song. Jake tore into the opening riff with a wide grin, using an acoustic guitar that he had found sitting unattended backstage. Danny joined in on Cosmo’s kit, thundering into the drums so they pulsed over the PA. Puffs of smoke started appearing in the crowd and, to Josh’s delight, even more people started to join in the wild and free dancing. Off in the distance he could see a group of small children holding hands and skipping around in a circle to their music. They were really in their element. 

“Hey! Turn to night, firelight, star shines in her eyes, makes me feel like I’m alive, she’s outtasight, hey!” 

Jake stomped to center stage, as far as the cable would let him go, and started to mouth out his guitar part as he jumped into his solo. Josh clasped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, which Jake smiled at, and then he returned back to his side of the stage when he finished. With that, Josh entered into the bridge, lifting his arms higher and higher into the sky, which the audience copied, and then he turned and pointed to Sam, who was ready on the keys. 

While he usually played an organ during their tour, Sam was stuck with a normal piano, but it was more than enough for him as he entered into an extended solo that cascaded up and down the keys in a jazzy succession. Danny leaned forward on his stool and rested his head in his hands as he watched Sam pound away on the keys in utter admiration. In front of them, the crowd lifted their hands and started to clap loudly, keeping in time as Sam played the solo of his life. 

After doing one more run up and down the ivories, he played a final chord and couldn’t help but stand and take a deep bow when he was greeted by whistles and screams of joy. 

“This is insane,” Sam mused to Danny as he stepped out from behind his keyboard to give one final wave to the crowd. “What is happening?” 

“I wish I could tell you,” Danny laughed. 

Josh backed away from the microphone again and joined Jake’s side. As blissful as it was to be playing in front of such a large, loving crowd, he wasn’t thrilled about the next song in their setlist. Sam had pitched the idea when they were figuring out what to play, claiming that it was the perfect song for the occasion. Josh could respect that opinion, but they didn’t usually play it live since it was understood in the band that it was, for the most part, out of Josh’s wheelhouse. But, after trying to put his foot down, Josh realized that his bandmates were all apathetic to his concerns and he was outvoted. 

“I’m nervous,” he whispered to Jake. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince his brother to back out of the song last-minute. 

“You gotta do it,” Jake replied without an ounce of sympathy. “It’s a great song.” 

“But, my voice,” Josh attempted to protest. 

“Your voice is on fire, Josh,” Jake disagreed. “Just close your eyes and let the music take you there.” 

At that point Josh knew he wouldn’t be able to back out of it, so he returned to the front of the stage. Danny tapped on his cymbals and Sam began playing the beginning to “Tears of Rain.” 

“This next song, it’s a beautiful song. It’s about the search for salvation, in a way. It’s about the long trip we’ve made, I suppose, to get here,” Josh spoke. 

And with that, he let it rip. 

“Bathing in the light around us, praying for the night to comfort thee, dancing on the coals below us, praying for the flood to set us free.” 

Jake, playing the Gibson, came behind Josh and kneed him in the side of the leg. 

“You’ve got it,” he called over the wall of music he, Danny, and Sam were making. Josh kept his eyes squeezed shut so he could remain in the zone. In his head, he was back in the studio when they had first recorded the song. 

“Yeah,” he wailed into the microphone, “Who will bring the rain?” 

As Josh hit his first unbelievably high note, he started to feel rain drops dancing onto his cheeks while he faced the sky. The crowd at first started to murmur in alarm at the rain that was rapidly picking up as Josh continued his “who will bring the rain?” chant but, once they accepted that they were going to get soaked, their cheers returned. Josh could tell that his hair was starting to plaster over his forehead and his clothes were feeling heavier, but he finally opened his eyes and boomed out in his strongest acapella wail the final, “Who will bring the rai-ai-ai-aiiiiii-ain!” 

“Is it still safe to play?” he could hear Jake ask a stagehand. “ I don’t want to get electrocuted.” 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, pal,” the stagehand assured Jake, though he seemed like maybe not the most trustworthy person. “We’ve got paramedics if you need them.” 

“Great,” Jake mumbled. 

From his keyboard, Sam attempted to push his dampened hair out of his face but wound up sputtering when he got a bunch stuck in his mouth. The paint on his jean jacket had started to run down his arms and chest during “Tears of Rain,” so he slightly resembled a pack of Skittles. None of that seemed to bother him though, since he looked around for confirmation that they were still playing and then broke into “Rhapsody in Blue.” 

“RIGHT ON!” someone close to the stage hollered. Danny joined Sam, keeping a steady beat while Sam put his body into the music, taking short breaks to wipe his hair out of the way. 

On his side of the stage, Jake retrieved a rag from one of the stage hands and tried to wipe off the fretboard. Next to him, Josh gulped down a cup of something that tasted citrusy and scrunched up his face. 

“Ah, that stings.” 

“Hey,” Jake tried to get his attention. 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m glad we’re doing this.” 

“I sure as hell didn’t have this penciled in my calendar for today, but I’m glad we’re doing it as well.” 

Sam was nearing the end of his interlude, so Jake and Josh returned to their designated spots on stage and got ready. 

“Hold somebody close for this next one,” Josh addressed the crowd. “It doesn’t matter if you know them or not.” 

Sam started playing “Light My Love” as puddles began to form on the wooden stage. Out in the crowd, it was split between people trying to shield their heads with jackets, and the more free-spirits, who embraced the rain with arms wide open, prancing around in the forming mud. Josh nearly missed his cue because he was so distracted by a group of young men who had started diving in the mud like it was a slip n’ slide. He made a mental note that he wanted to join them when their set was done. 

“Your mind is a stream of colors, extending beyond our sky, a land of infinite wonders, a billion light years from now.” 

“Woah,” one of the people who had joined the crowd forming on the side stage breathed out. Whoever these guys were, they were good. 

“JJ!” a woman hollered from the sea of faces. “I love you!” 

Jake snickered and lifted a thumbs up to the crowd, which Josh mirrored. 

When they reached the “woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh” part of the song, all four of them started to collectively choke up. Led by Josh, it looked like the entire crowd was waving their arms back and forth to the beat, singing in unison. Their voices overpowered the music and, in that moment, Jake, Josh, Sam, and Danny had never felt more connected to people or, really, more human for that matter. 

The song slowed to a stop and Josh had to take a second to collect himself. Jake was glad that the rain was hiding the tears that had started to pour down his cheeks. 

“HOW ARE WE ALL DOING?” Josh shouted into the microphone once he was composed. 

“ALL RIGHT!” the people shouted back. 

“Champagne, caviar, anyone?” Josh couldn’t help but lean back into the microphone to joke. He was certain that Jake, Sam, and Danny were rolling their eyes behind him, but he didn’t care. It was a great joke, no matter the venue or audience. 

Josh was pretty confident that they were past their 30 minutes, but no one was coming from the side of the stage to stop them, so he moved back to have a brief meeting with the rest of the band. 

“Everyone doing good?” he checked in. Danny looked as if he had just cannon balled into a lake based on how drenched he was, but he was quick to give a thumbs up. People in the 60s really knew how to enjoy music. The number of people he had seen air drumming along with him made him feel like he was on cloud 9. 

“Are we doing Broken Bells?” Sam asked. The paint was now entirely washed away from his clothes, leaving his skin looking like a rainbow had vomited on him. 

“I think we should,” Jake piped in. He had ditched the Sgt. Pepper jacket during “Light My Love” so, like Danny, his chest was out and glistening with moisture in the glow of the stage lights. 

Sam let out a chortle. “I didn’t realize how many songs I’d be doing on the keys tonight.” 

“You’ll get to Phil’s bass soon,” Josh promised. 

Out of seemingly nowhere, a woman hustled on stage and stood on her tiptoes to speak into the microphone Josh had left unattended. The guys whirled around to see what was going on. 

“Jenny Martin, your dad is looking for you,” the woman read off a piece of paper. “Come to the front entrance, Jenny Martin.” 

The woman turned back around and mouthed a quick apology to the band before rushing back to the wing. Josh reapproached the microphone and gave it a testing tap. 

“Shame on you Jenny Martin,” he said with a look of mischief, which earned some laughs. “This one is Broken Bells. It’s about,” Josh paused for a second. “Broken Bells.” 

It was incredible that the rain hadn’t let up for a second since “Tears of Rain.” What was even more incredible though was that they were still playing in spite of the weather disruption, and no one in the audience looked to be in any rush to leave and seek shelter. Josh was pretty sure that he would have dipped for one of the vans after a couple of songs, but he had a feeling that they were keeping the audience captivated by their music, which was the highest praise a musician could receive. 

Jake had requested a stool before their set so he could comfortably play the acoustic part of “Broken Bells,” but a stagehand had told him that the best they could do was a rug. Because Jake didn’t want his pants to get more soaked than they already were, he sucked it up and played the acoustic standing, which took some adjusting. 

The part that he hadn’t considered was how to pull off the switch from acoustic to electric before his guitar solo. Pete Townshend’s guitar was sitting off to the side of the stage on its stand, but none of the stagehands knew any of their music or, consequently, when Jake needed the other guitar. 

“Shit,” Jake whispered to himself as Sam started his solo on the keys. He knew he had about twenty seconds to get himself situated, which was usually more than enough time when he had a professional handing him his guitar from off stage. Doing everything on his own though was going to be complicated. 

Josh let out a call in surprise when Jake tore the strap off of the acoustic and rushed offstage. To an unknowing spectator, it looked like Jake was about to empty the contents of his stomach off to the side but, in reality, he was rushing around in a blind panic, reaching for the electric guitar and cable, thrusting it into the amp. It was kind of Sam to improv on the spot and add a few extra bars to his solo, buying Jake enough time that he could run back to center stage right as he ripped into the first note of his solo. 

“I thought you had dipped,” Josh covered the microphone to call to his twin. 

“Never,” was all Jake could manage to gasp out. 

While Jake, Sam, and Danny played their hearts out in the instrumental part of the song, Josh jogged to the side stage where Dave was standing with Joan Baez, a few guys from Santana, and Ravi Shankar. 

“Enjoying yourselves?” he asked them. 

“Who are you guys?” Greg Rolie asked in amazement. 

“Just a little group from Michigan,” Josh shrugged. He didn’t know what else to say. 

Joan Baez was squinting at Sam. 

“I think that’s the kid who cornered me earlier,” she realized. “I didn’t know he could play.” 

Josh made a mental note to tell Sam about that later, grinned back at the legends who were looking at him in awe, and returned to the microphone to close out the song. 

“THANK YOU!” he called out. Once again, no one was making any effort to remove them from the stage, so Josh turned to Sam. 

“Grab the bass, Sammy. It’s your time to shine.” 

Sam leapt up from his bench and bound to the back of the stage so he could retrieve Phil Lesh’s bass and plug it into his own amp. Jake watched on in concern, keeping his fingers crossed that Sam wouldn’t get electrocuted in the process. All seemed well with him, since he ducked out of his jean jacket and strapped the bass on, stepping up closer to the front of the stage. Josh gave him a thumbs up and Sam smiled back. 

“ONE TWO THREE!” Sam counted them in. They started “When the Curtain Falls,” immediately ejecting the crowd out of the earthly, philosophical music into a more lively, head banging song. 

“Whoo!” they could hear Carlos Santana shout from the wing of the stage. “Now that’s rock n’ roll!” 

Jake couldn’t help but turn around and throw him a pick when he had a break in his riff, which Carlos caught with a loud laugh. 

Through the buckets of rain, Danny watched as some people in the crowd started climbing up the light towers to get a better view. The people who were visible from the stage due to the lights were all collectively throwing themselves around in the mud, cheering and jumping with Josh, who was screaming into the microphone. 

“When the curtain falls, walk the hollow walls, babe, once a valley doll, now you’re not at all, no!”

Sam had had his doubts about playing “When the Curtain Falls” live at Woodstock but, watching the audience’s reception, he was glad that Jake had suggested it. Usually they had “Safari Song” and “Highway Tune” in their setlist to prove to people that they knew how to rock, but “When the Curtain Falls” had an extra heaviness to it that felt fitting for the occasion. 

“DO IT JAKEY, DO IT!” Josh shrieked into the microphone. Jake launched forward and started to shred like he had never shredded before, hitting a brain-bending line of notes up and down the fretboard, bending the strings this way and that. By the time he was done with his solo and started to close out the song, it almost looked like the guitar was smoking. 

“Now I’m warmed up,” Jake grinned around at everyone on stage when the song finished. Josh took that as his cue to introduce their last song of the evening. He would have played forever if given the choice, but he also realized that there was still a line of musicians waiting for their own turn on the stage. It would be cruel to steal such an opportunity from them. 

“This is our last one for tonight,” Josh shared with the crowd. People shouted in protest. “I know, I know,” Josh laughed. “But you’ve got a lot of great musicians up ahead. Now, we want to take you on a journey to end things right. My brother over there, Jake, is a rock n’ roll sherpa, and he’s gonna lead the way. Right Jake?” 

Jake gave him a big thumbs up. 

“Take it away!” Josh shouted. Jake began “The Weight of Dreams” and the crowd was immediately silenced by the hypnotizing riff that echoed over the fields. Josh started to sing his part and, as he moved into the second chorus, he could feel his voice struggling to catch up. He had been testing his vocal chords that evening, but it was mostly because he was so caught up in the moment, he forgot to tone it down in some parts. His voice started to rasp on his last line, and he backed away from the microphone to clear his throat while Danny began to thunder away on the drums in the middle section. Josh gave a silent prayer that his voice would remain intact and, after sucking in a deep inhale, he started to scream at the top of his lungs over Danny’s drums. His voice warbled a bit but the audience started to cheer with him, so he was able to finish his note strong and step back to give Jake center stage as he began his 12 minute long solo. 

Josh stared at his twin shaking his wet hair around and hitting every note perfectly, and then his eyes tracked back to Danny, who was likewise putting his entire body into his part, from crashing his cymbals to stomping on the bass pedal. Sam threw his head back as he leaned into the long, booming chords that he was playing on the keys. Overhead, a thunder strike clapped and, off in the distance, lightning flashed, brightening everyone’s faces for a split second. The time between the thunder sped up as Jake went deeper into his solo and, by the time he reached the climax, lightning was dancing directly over their heads. If Josh didn’t know that it was his brother in front of him, he would have assumed he was a god, controlling the sky with his guitar. 

Josh remembered that he could be doing something during Jake’s solo and broke out of his stunned trance to fetch a tambourine that he had found unattended in the grass earlier in the day. He jogged to the far end of the stage and held a hand over his brow to shield his eyes from the rain as he tried to look out at the audience. It was hard to make out much since it had gotten pretty dark, but each time lightning struck, their faces lit up briefly and, from what he could tell, they all collectively looked transfixed. Jake literally had the entire field of people in the palm of his hand. Josh started to smack around the tambourine and found a spot he was content with at the back of the stage, near Danny’s kit, where he could make his commotion without stealing the spotlight. 

It seemed like Jake never wanted to leave the stage, since his 12 minute solo turned into a 20 minute one. If the audience was lost in his music, Jake might as well have been too, since his fingers ran up and down the fretboard, playing melodies Josh had never heard before. Considering they had a 16 hour studio session before traveling back in time, Jake’s endurance was unbelievable. His fingers should have fallen off ages ago. 

Jake started to slow down around 25 minutes into his solo because he really was feeling on the verge of toppling over, and Josh putting a hand on his back was the nail in the coffin, confirming that it was time to finish things. He entered the last few bars of the song, ripping out the chords like a final blast of energy. It took him a while to catch his breath and muse at the fact that the audience was entirely silent, as if waiting for his next move. He let them wait a few more beats and then played the last part of the song. 

The final note hung suspended in the air for what felt like minutes before fading into silence. 

“Fuck yeah,” Jake whispered to himself. 

Danny, Sam, and Josh moved to the front of the stage to join Jake, signaling that their set was finished, and the silence was quickly replaced with an ear-piercing ovation. Jake held up Pete Townshend’s guitar after unhooking it from its amp, and then they all took a bow. Jake knew he would be tempted to start playing if he stuck around any longer, so he took one last look out at the crowd, released a deep exhale, and then rushed off stage. 

Danny, Sam, and Josh were quick to join him. It was still dark and hard to see, but from what Jake could make out, they all looked as though they had run a marathon. In a sense, with the set they had just played, they basically did. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Dave greeted them, his face elated. “What the fuck was that?” 

“Just some stuff we’ve been working on,” Jake tried to sound humble. 

“I’ve never heard anything like that before,” Dave exclaimed. “I mean, that was far out. Like, far out. These people are lucky they got in for free.” 

“Hey, nice playing out there,” Joan Baez approached Sam, who looked on the verge of passing out from surprise. “Even if you probably pushed my spot in the lineup out by an hour.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Sam’s eyes widened with worry. 

“Don’t be,” Joan Baez laughed. “I don’t mind when the music is good. I do hope you’ll catch my set, though.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Sam was quick to assure her. Joan motioned behind Sam to the line of people who wanted to talk with him and his bandmates. 

“Looks like you’ve got some fans to address,” she said with a beam. With that, she whisked away, leaving Sam dumbfounded. 

“I love it here,” he mused to himself. 

“Dude,” Danny tried to hop on Sam’s back, making his knees buckle at his weight. “Michael Lang invited us to an afterparty. All the other bands are gonna be there.” 

“No fucking way,” Sam’s voice cracked in disbelief. He had to drop Danny back down because he was too exhausted to carry him after their set, but instead opted to squeeze him in a hug. “I can’t believe we did that.” 

Jake joined them with a can of beer in one hand and a rag around his other. 

“I popped like seven blisters and didn’t even realize it,” he motioned down to the rag when he caught Danny and Sam inspecting it. “I’m gonna be so sore tomorrow.” 

“I’ve already signed twelve autographs,” Josh announced with pride as he joined their circle.

“Did you do your legit autograph?” Danny couldn’t help but ask. 

“I signed it as Harry Dickface,” Josh winked at Danny, who shook his head with a bright smile. 

“Do you guys want to take a seat somewhere?” Dave approached the group. “I’m sure you all could use some rest. We’ve got a tent in the back.” 

“Yeah,” Josh nodded. “I think I need to unwind.” 

“Agreed,” Danny, Sam, and Jake echoed. 

They needed a lot of time to process everything. 

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #woodstock #carlos santana #joan baez #greg rolie

[lassuscorde]

75 PROMPTS

(that are under the cut!)

feel free to pop up to three at a time in my inbox as well as a little desc about what ya want. I won’t do full nsfw but mild/suggestive stuff is alright.

1 “can i hold your hand?” 2 “you’re making my stomach hurt. in a good way?” 3 “god, just come here, will you?” 4 “Man. Sometimes, I just really wanna squish your face. What is this, cuteness aggression? 5 “Is that … me?” 6 “ … is that my shirt?” 7 “Sit down, idiot, I’m making you a snack.” 8 “If I win, you gotta kiss me, and i dont mean a peck on the cheek.” 9 “You are the best pillow!” 10 “Let me take care of you or I will kill you myself.” 11 ”Sometimes, you remind me of a fairytale character.” 12 ”Last time I let you cook, you set the fucking sprinklers off!” 13 ”I just realized- you have really pretty eyes.” 14 “Can’t sleep? Me neither.” 15 “I didn’t-…I didn’t want you to see me cry, alright.” 16 ”Please. I just need someone to talk to.” 17 ”I dunno. I would marry you!” 18 ”Can I sleep in your room?” 19 ”You’re so warm …” 20 ”I dunno, I guess a hug would be nice?” 21 ”I just realized. I’ve never really … touched you before?” 22 ”At this rate, I’m going to run out of tissues.” 23 ”Can I hug you?” 24 ”You just look so kissable-“ 24 ”Can I play with your hair?” 25 “If you’re not careful, you might hurt that pretty face of yours.” 26 “I AM- SO SORRY— ohh god-” 27 “Are you sure it wont hurt?” ”I have no idea. Sure hope not.” 28 “Fuck, yes, I’m scared.” 29 “You’ve been so good to me. I- I wanna pay you back, okay?” 30 “Just take it off … please?” 31 “You’re … wow. Y/n, you’re beautiful.” 32 “Little short to reach, are we?” 33 “I’ve always wondered if I could pick you up.” 34 “I never realized how pretty your hands were!” 35 ”So maybe I want them to rail me against a wall, so what?” 36 ”I have a feeling I wasn’t supposed to hear that.” 37 ”And to think I thought you were just a pushover.” 38 ”No no, it’s ok, everyone wants to fuck me.” 39 ”Geez, staring problem much?” 40 ”You baited me into this, didn’t you?” 41 ”That’ll leave a mark.” 42 ”I thought you said you could take it?” 43 ”No way, you’re gonna take up all the hot water!” 44 ”A bath sounds nice.” 45 ”Look, I’m sick of you talking bad about yourself, okay?” 46 “Just because you wouldn’t fuck you doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t!” 47 ” ‘oooh I hate you so much’ look, we all know how much you wanna fuck me.” 48 ”God I am so tired of pretending to hate you.” 49 “Looks like someone likes being pinned down.” 50 “So sue me, you have a nice ass.” 51 “You’ve got such a handsome smile. Who knows what else that mouth can do?” 52 “I’m not saving your sorry ass next time.” 53 “This is not your mission!” 54 “This better be on my overtime.” 55 “Let’s put the paint down, okay? I just got this stuff polished!” 56 “Couples therapy? We’re not even together!” 57 “If they don’t shut up soon just shoot me.” 58 “There’s a reason I never take the helmet off around you people.” 59 “This is definitely safe. I promise.” 60 “Touch them and it’s my boot you’ll have up your ass.” 61 “So, I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but I lost the spider.” 62 “You’re planning something aren’t you. You’re never this nice to me!” 63 “War criminals? Please, we’ve done worse than that.” 64 “I’ll miss you, dumbass.” 65 “Here, give me your hands.” 66 “It’s simple, I’ll show you.” 67 “And this is why we all need therapy.” 68 “If this is a dream I’m gonna kill you in the morning.” 69 “Keeping secrets, are we?” 70 “Deep breaths, okay? Look at me.” 71 “What do mean they’re not coming?” 72 “I think I should get the big gun this time.” 73 “Yeah, I had a feeling you didn’t get laid much.” 74 “This is a terrible plan. I’m in.” 75 “Come baaack, I’m cold nowww.”

#corde writes #prompts #prompt list #rvb

[loveyourownsmiilee]

You keep apologizing for being negative, but honestly you could rant a lot more. What you’ve said sounds awful, and I’m sorry they just left the bed that way! Good sleep is so important, especially for someone with chronic pain. It sounds like you’ve had a lot of bad piling up, and I hope it gets better soon 💜

Also file alllll the complaints and sue if you end up getting hurt because of that company’s bullshit. I’m so angry on your behalf…

Oh Jo it’s literally bc I try so so fucking hard to not be negative like at all. I’m known as someone who’s usually optimistic but how can I continue being so when every single thing in my life is falling apart 😭 I’m just so so fully tired. My body aches, my soul aches I just wanted a good nights rest but NO. I’m just freaking livid at the fact that their delivery people were so careless and they basically half assed their job and left within 30 minutes and then proceeded to falsify their report and say everything was just fine when in reality it really wasn’t. I am very against these people being hired for these kinds of jobs when they’re so careless. If I made a dumbass, careless mistake like this at my job, it would honestly cost me my job so like I’m just frustrated beyond. 

#juju answers #jobairdxx #sorry again #thank you for checking in #sending all my love #mattress saga

[girl-kendallroy]

rant about Current Events under cut you guys are not obligated to read it if you’re too stressed about this shit

having to explain to my brother that like as of right now i’m poised to lose like. all of my rights as a woman and gay person and having to tell him that the supreme court is above everything and it really doesn’t matter what congress says because there will always be some shitty fucking county that will sue because someone did something that they didn’t like EVEN THOUGH it’s protected under the law and this shit ass fascist ass supreme court will agree because they’re fucked. and like i’m lucky i’m a canadian citizen and if things get bad i can leave but i don’t want to drop everything and leave. i want to finish my degree here, i want to go to medical school here (although it’s not like i have a choice lmfao) and like. yeah i’m going back to canada no matter what at some point but i want that choice of when. and i probably won’t be getting married or having a family anytime soon but i’d like to know that i can if i want to. and i want to know that i won’t be fucking arrested for being in bed with a woman. and i don’t really want to live anywhere else in the us like i don’t know anyone at all. i could go practically anywhere in canada and have some friends or family but if i leave texas i have no one <3 anyway thanks for hypothetically coming to my ted talk i am lovingly patting your guys’ heads and giving u a kissy on the forehead. i hope your pillows are cold and you have a good sleep and a good week <3

#said this in my rant but i love my mutuals regardless if y’all read this mess or not

[vodka-redbull-daily]

November 22nd, 2023 (Part 1)

*Graphic Sexual Content*

It's been quite a while since I've received a dick pic. It feels kind of weird complaining about that. I don't think I'm even complaining, but most people would be so happy to stop Having to look at random people's dicks. It was  kind of fun collecting them if I'm honest. it was fun showing them to D---- and laughing at them together. I'm not sure why that is. maybe I just finally got into the group of people that don't send dick pics very often and have weeded through all the ones that like to do that. although, I've also found so many people who like to flake. I'll make plans with a guy, then he either goes to me completely or keeps canceling over and over again. B--- has seemed like the best prospect, after F----. when F---- turned out to be kind of an asshole, B--- seems like he would be a good alternative. sure, he was incredibly boring  and I had a sneaking suspicion sex would be ass, but he was so far most likely to be the most consistent person.  but he ended up flaking on me two separate times before he finally just said that he wasn't going to try anymore. to be fair, those were his exact words,  but I did try and make it work and he just straight up stopped answering my texts. oh well.

 after having so many flakes, it's incredibly annoying and making it to where I kind of want to start looking at other sites. I've been getting semi good luck from this one site, but I'm running out of men in general, much less men that are actually going to meet me and pay me. W--- was an anomaly. I normally would not continuously go out with a person who's not paying me, but I really enjoyed him that first day and I even plan on seeing him later in the week. I know I'm going to have a good time and we'll probably end up having sex with him and I don't mind that. I obviously want to do that otherwise I wouldn't want to go. but it's incredibly annoying that I haven't gotten paid in quite a while.  I really hope this isn't the death knell of my time as a sugar baby.   I'll probably start signing up for some other sites soon enough. I found a Reddit thread about the sugar baby lifestyle, although it seems like I already have an account on the most popular site and everyone on there is kind of saying that it's shit.  they're honestly isn't that much helpful information on there.

Today, I have plans to meet two different guys. I'm going to meet up with B------ around noon. I'm so excited to be able to meet up with him again. it's been quite a while since we fucked in the car and he keeps promising me that it'll be so much more enjoyable since he's going to actually get a hotel room. since it's so close to Thanksgiving, though, I told him that I'd be okay with only taking 100 this time instead of the usual 200 since most hotel rooms are extra expensive right now. yeah, this is a bad business move, especially since I keep complaining about how I haven't made that much money recently. but I'm also incredibly horny. and I enjoy B------ a lot. sue me. sometimes I just want to get dicked down by someone who actually knows what they're doing and isn't 103 years old.

We planed to meet at 12:30.  he sent me the address to the hotel room and then also sent me some instructions to follow. apparently this is part of being a submissive. or it can be. I guess it's kind of like a role-playing thing, where the dominant will give you a set of instructions and you're supposed to do them. he had a special name for it but I forgot what it was. I'm sure I'll hear it again before too long. his instructions were to come to the room, take off all my clothes, and wait. pretty simple instructions. I also decided to go without any underwear or bra. F---- had asked me to do that and honestly I enjoy that more anyway. I fucking hate wearing underwear  and a bra. sexy for the guy, comfy for me. win win.  one last rule he had was that every time I came, I would have to lick it off of him. again, this is actually something I like so it wasn't that big a deal for me.

 I  got to the hotel, but he forgot to send me the room number so I waited for a while outside before he finally did. once he did that, I went over to the room and he opened the door for me, since hotel rooms lock automatically.  I walked in, took off all my clothes and everything like he said, and waited. again, this wasn't  a very difficult set of instructions. he had some music playing through a little speaker and was very quick to start touching me all over. his skin was just as soft as I remembered. his fingers were just as good as I remembered. it seemed that no matter how he touched me, I would get chills and goosebumps. it's so strange. two different people can touch me in the exact same way and my body will have such an immensely different reaction. I remembered when I was having sex with him, how he would Trace his fingers  down my stomach, thigh, and underwear line. my entire  body would shake with pleasure even though he wasn't actually even doing anything that sexual. it feels almost the same with B------. he could touch me on my back, on my arms,  run his fingers through my hair  I would already be on the edge of an orgasm. meanwhile, somebody else could do something similar and I would lay there like a dead fish. I want to get turned on, I'm probably already wet, but it's just not the same.

 he also had me  put on a blindfold which is very excited for. he had been telling me a little bit about sensory play, about putting on things like a blindfold and headphones so that your sense of touch was heightened. I was really looking forward to that. after I  had the blindfold on, he led me to a little couch looking thing and had me kneel there while leaning against the arm. I wasn't uncomfortable, I could have stayed there for as long as he wanted me to. he continued to touch me, occasionally dipping his fingers up inside me. He commented on how wet I was.  then he explained to me the game we were going to play. 

This was going to be my first Step into getting into more BDSM things. it seems pretty much everybody is into impact play and that's honestly the first thing most people think of when I think of BDSM shit. he told me he had brought a bunch of different items, he was going to use them on me, and I was supposed to remember which one was which. he told me about this game before, how he had used it on other people. every time he would use one on me, he would ask me then to rate the Pain on a scale from 1 to 10 and then immediately after that asked me to write it on how much I enjoyed it from 1 to 10.  there are quite a bit of them. I knew there were a bunch of different things they're used for this kind of stuff, I just didn't realize he had brought so many and then he was going to use so many of them on me.  it was quite a bit of time that we spent actually doing this.  he would tell me the name of it, then let me feel it with my hands, then you sit on me. he had me repeat what it was afterwards,  then I would give him my numbers. I think I can remember them all off the top of my head:

Flogger: A leather flogger.  pretty simple, if you know what a flogger is you know what this is.  I can't remember exactly what I judged each of these on each scale, but I do remember that this is one of my favorites. not that painful and I actually quite enjoyable.

 long flogger: very similar to the first, but longer. obviously. this one hurt a little bit more  but still definitely one of my favorites. again, I actually enjoyed it and was it in terrible pain.

 stinging fogger: this one had little thin strands and was much more painful than the other two floggers. I didn't like it that much, but they're definitely worse things on this list.

 thuddy flogger: heavy and thick leather straps on this one. surprisingly, it actually didn't hurt very bad at all. it was definitely one of my favorites since the Pain Scale is very low and with all the floggers he was able to  run them across my skin at a certain way that  was very pleasurable.

 dragon's tongue: this one was the first one he used. I was basically thick sheet of plastic that was cut down the middle. very much like a tongue of a serpent like it was named after. it reminded me a lot of those plastic clapping hands that you get from a shitty arcade. it definitely wasn't the worst, but it was not my favorite.  low to mid-range on the pay scale and made to high range on the pleasure scale.

 hemp cane: this was what seemed to be hemp  just tied in a fancy way to make it kind of like a stick or rod. it was stiff enough to be painful, but because it was made out of a kind of rope, it wasn't as painful as I was expecting.  I actually enjoyed the soft scratchy feeling of it. Another mid-range one on the Pain Scale and the pleasure scale.

 short paddle: a pretty thick wooden paddle with holes drilled into it. once I felt the holes with my hand, I was nervous. I knew that that would help with the speed and pain. although, it did finally enough remind me of Swiss cheese. it was pretty painful and I didn't enjoy it very much at all. although, still not the worst.

 long paddle: as the name suggests, it's exactly the same as the prior one just longer. this one was more painful and I  disliked it even more because of that.

 Tiny: B------ told me this was the first BDSM Type Toy he had ever gotten. and it wasn't even actually a toy. it was a wood especially he bought from Target and had filed down to make it a toy. I have heard about trying to make your own toys being pretty unsafe and this was actually very painful. I really didn't like it that much at all. still not the worst, but very near the bottom.

 the rod: this one was the worst. he did warn me that it was going to be incredibly painful and didn't use it very hard or very much. in fact, he relegated only three strikes with both of these last two ones because he knew that they were more painful than the other ones. he also said that he actually didn't use these during play, more for a “punishment” type situation.  it was just a long, metal rod.  I obviously hated it.

 the stick: surprisingly, this one wasn't that bad. this was another one that was supposed to be used in a “punishment” type situation,  but since it was pretty much just a yardstick that was a little bit thicker, it wasn't that bad. me and my siblings just a whack each other with yardsticks fairly often, so maybe I'm just used to the feeling already. but honestly, I would prefer that over some of the paddles that he had used earlier.

 after we  had gone through each one individually,  he went back and picked five at random. he said that if I got all five right, I would get reward. if I got less than three right, I would get a punishment. little did he know, that I am way too competitive for my own good. whenever there's a game involved, whether it be the religious crap that I had to do when I was younger or the BDSM shit, I tend to take any challenge probably way too seriously.  there's a reason they stopped letting me play games  with the other kids who didn't go to church as often as I did in religious education.  he also gave me three chances to guess each toy, which led to me getting every single one correct. a few of them I even got right on the first try.

 my reward?  he ate me out. I was pretty surprised by this, though I shouldn't have been since he did say that giving pleasure to his Partners is actually one of his favorite things. he and I are very similar in that way.  this makes B------ the third person I've ever slept with that actually gave me head. maybe I should  add that to my statistics.  unfortunately for B------, I've actually received much better head.

it wasn't bad. it was actually very good and I might have cum in his mouth if he had gone a little bit longer.  he definitely was more into licking my ass, which he had told me he was in the ass eating before, than he really was focused on my pussy and clit.  T----- was also in eating ass,  but he usually did the two separately. He was definitely the best person I've ever had. I don't know how he knew, but he would always put his tounge exactly where I wanted.  the perfect mix of speeding, up slowing down,  more direct focus on the clit, using his fingers inside me to make me absolutely scream with pleasure.  B------ was good, but I don't know if he'll ever stand a chance against him. not to mention he did it every time we had sex.  it seemed like it was one of his favorite things to do. I remember once when I was on my period and we were just getting to the point where he would fuck me and he leaned down and whispered in my ear about how badly he wanted to eat me out. how sad he was that  I was on my period. I'm hot just now thinking about it.

I miss him so badly.

 it wasn't a bad reward. it wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but pretty soon after that, he was actually putting his dick inside me. There was a little bit of pain as he stretched me out.  I guess I still wasn't used to him. he's definitely the biggest I've ever been with.  he will probably always be the biggest  I will have ever been with.  it took me a little bit, but eventually he was able to fuck me without any pain. I'm pretty sure he went all the way inside me this time. it only took us three times before he was able to actually bury that big ass cock deep inside me.  he felt so good inside me, but  he wouldn't let me cum.  I would wine and beg and plead and squirm and moan so loud with pleasure, but the Orgasm denial  that he showed me that first day was back. I loved it. when he finally let me cum, it was such a wave of relief.  after that, he took me off the bed and had me  lick up my cum off his dick.  I guess that checks off the mandatory dick sucking that's required and every single sexual encounter I have, but it wasn't bothered by it because I actually like the taste of my own cum.  it was the only time we ended up doing that even though it was one of his rules. I asked him about it afterward, why he had stopped enforcing that role, and he said that I just came so much all the time and he really didn't want to have to stop and start over and over again.

 pretty soon, he had me on all fours. again, his dick was shoved inside me and this angle is one of my favorites. doggy style seems to always just hit that right spot for me, and B-------'s dick always pushes me to my limit. I had to beg for my orgasm again. the way his hands would grab my waist and he would use my whole body as a fleshlight,  just pounding himself inside me. it's like heaven. he did eventually let me have another orgasm. then, he told me to stay exactly in place and I felt him get off the bed. I heard him moving things around. more toys.

 when he came back, he squirted Lube all over my ass, even getting some of it dripping to my legs. not that big deal as my own cum was already dripping down my legs. his finger gently dipped inside my asshole. we had talked about how I wasn't ready to do anal with his actual cock yet. he was just way too big and even though I had done anal with F----, F---- had not been that big. plus, we had talked about how  much I enjoyed the double penetration T---- had done to me so long ago. sure enough, after he had sufficiently lubedme up, I felt a vibrating toy being pushed inside. it felt kind of like anal beads. I definitely was enjoying myself. soon, he also pushed dick  back into my pussy. such a strange sensation, getting  so much pleasure from  the two different places at the same time. it was hard to focus on one, hard to feel exactly where all my pleasure was coming from. I had to beg for my orgasm a few more times. 

After a little bit, he took the toy out of my ass and began lubing it up again.  in between each time he did this, He would instruct me to stay exactly where I was. I would be there on the bed, ass open in the air, just waiting for him to stick something else in. and he always did. a new toy soon entered me, this time pretty clearly a butt plug. we went back to him fucking me with that inside me. we went round and round with me begging to cum, him denying me until it was almost too much, then letting me go. he also kept changing out the plug, getting bigger and bigger each time. he ended up using four different ones, and on the last one I was definitely beginning to feel stretched. it was almost painful, almost to the point where I asked him to stop. I stretched and stretched and  gripped the sheets.   right at the last second, right before  I called it off, my ass took the whole thing. I was definitely stretched, and there was a twinge of pain, but it definitely was not unbearable and  I got enough pleasure from it that I was able to ignore the pain. from here, he fucked me until he came inside me also allowing me another orgasm of my own. I came seven times. he usually makes me count, so I kept counting just in case.

After that,  I took the blindfold off and he gave me a towel to clean myself up with. not very many men do that. I kind of forgot he did that. it's such a weird mix being with all these guys and even the ones that you feel like do kind of care about your experience don't do that kind of stuff. after we cleaned ourselves up,  he had me go ahead and look at all the toys he had used. we started with the anal stuff, because he wanted to show off how good I had done. I was incredibly surprised to see the toys I had  you just had inside me laying out there on the towel. the biggest one, the one that I had a little bit of trouble with, was so much bigger than I had imagined. in thickness, it was pretty comparable to B------. all of them are also much longer than I expected. he also showed me what I thought to be anal beads, but it was pretty much just a vibrator with a bunch of little orbs on it. the thing was close to 7 in long, and he told me I took all of it. he was really excited, since this meant that I could probably eventually take him.  it really wouldn't take that much longer or that much more stretching before I Would be able to fit his entire dick in my ass.

 he also had me look at all the toys  he had me rank. most of them, looked exactly how I imagined them based on how they felt in my hands. he had me sort them from the one I like the most so the one I like the least out on the bed. we talked about them a little bit, he explained to me the story of tiny, he told me about other toys he wanted to use, toys he wanted to buy, all kinds of stuff. he washed off all the anal toys for me, gave me instructions on how to take care of them, and told me that I could take them home. his only rule was anytime I use them I had to talk to him about it. and I want to use them, but that means I have to go out and buy Lube at some point. he also told me he had gotten me more but they just had to come in on time. he said there's suction cup on the bottom. very intriguing.

 after talking about the toys and him showing me some of the girls he had been with before and talking about that  plus some of the gangbang groups he was in, he asked me when I had to leave  and how many times I had cum.  I told him 7 and I really didn't have a time I need to leave, since the only plans I had for the day was going to my meet and greet with S-- but that wasn't until 7:00 and it was only two at that point. he thought about  it for a second,  and said he thought he could squeeze in at least four more orgasms.

 I laid back down on the bed, he finished cleaning the last of the toys and got them all packaged up, then we were at it again. this time, every time I asked he let me cum. I was mostly on my back, but he also turned me on my side, twisting my torso my legs separately I'm pushing himself deep inside me that way. I never been in that position before and I enjoyed it very much. since he wasn't denying me any orgasm this time, I came over and over and over again. like I usually do with others. in all honesty, this time was even better than when I was blindfolded. I think since he was actually less focused on the performance side of it and more on just a good plain old fucking, he was a little bit more rough, more straight to the point then the fancy start And stop and specialize movement to try and get somebody on the edge without pushing them over. instead, we just had a good old fashioned fuck. I ended up cuming 12 times in the span of about 10 to 15 minutes. and he also came again, saying that was the quickest he's ever cum twice in a row. I've heard that a few times. even W---- said something about how he had a hard time actually cuming due to the mix of medication he was on and was very pleased when he was able to cum inside me.

 we talked for a little bit longer, he gave me the money, gave me the anal toys, then I left. he stayed behind a little bit longer to clean up a little bit and who knows, maybe he invited another girl over. I have no clue. we talked a little bit about his past conquests and he said he's been with at least 120 people off this one site alone. for all I know, he invited a girl immediately after me. I wouldn't be bothered by it. it's not like I'm not doing the exact same thing later on tonight.

#blog #daily blog #suagr baby #suagr dating #vodka redbull #my writing #spilled thoughts #daily journal #journal

[self-proclaimed-best-blog]

The fear.

The fear of being judged regardless of who you're with is actually crazy. I feel icky just talking about it here. I think I find strangers more comforting than my actual friends because they don't have an expectation of what my interests or personality will be. I could be anything.

But the moment something I'm secretly passionate about comes up in a conversation with some close pals I'm fucking doomed. It's over. Roll the credits already. Put me out of my misery. Because even if it's in positive context; I don't want them to know! WHY DO I WANT THEM TO KNOW???

I want them to know but I don't want them to have certain ideas of me. Ideas consisting of being uncool, or weird. I'm already pretty trashed on at school for being quiet but if I opened up about my interests I'd dig the hole deeper.

I have a mental list of things to say that make me appear awesome without letting them know much. But also trying to make them comfortable to bring those things up around me. I have a list of interests that are okay and not okay for me to share.

Actually, recently I told some of my closest friends for... just about a year now about my interest in a dumbass anime and.

I can't even fucking say it I feel gross.

This one ship in an anime that happened to be gay. And I've liked this anime since I was a little kid and read the mangas at the library. I've never told anyone though. (It was Card Captor Sakura. Sue me for being a boy who thinks magical girls are cool.) And I opened up about Yukito and Touya and how they had so much more potential and all the shit that could possibly be infodumped was definitely infodumped that day... and now I'm scared they think I'm some asian-gay fetishizing weirdo.

I'm pretty sure one of them might genuinely think that which just isn't true. It just so happens the only time I've ever really talked about shit like that was then. You guys don't know what animal it is until you uncover the whole skeleton, right? I was just starting to feel like opening up more too but I'm regressing. So much progress because of paranoia and one dumbass person who barely knows me out of the group. IT'S FUNNY ACTUALLY! NOBODY THERE KNOWS ME. I like them. I guess I trust them. But nobody takes time out of their day to show interest or get talk to me (Except that one person. Shoutout to her). Sure, I make them gifts for events and maybe it's my fault I'm so closed off and ask for nothing in return.

I actually just got over my agro habit of avoiding saying "I love you" to the people I care about the most. BUT I'VE REGRESSED YET AGAIN! This is why they left me bruh. It's so easy to say "I love you" to someone random because I don't mean it that much but when a person is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me: I'm suddenly dodging the three words like my life depends on it.

All because I'm worried to be vulnerable. I haven't talked about... REALLY talked about my interests for years. I always say "Oh, never heard of it." When they come up because I'm so horrified of people seeing me as me. I only want people to think I'm awesome, I'm cool, I make cool art, I make funny comics, and I'm just a great, laid back, chill guy.

But I'm none of those things. I'm some loser nerd who spends all day playing niche video games, watching anime, reading manga, skimming through wiki pages, listening to OST, binging Bobs Burgers, watching shitty 80's movies, sulking, stressing, talking to myself, barely eating and writing a really depressive blog.

I probably imagine and make up conversations more than I actually HAVE them. Horrible habit. I can honestly see why they ghosted my ass now. I'm a fucking loser.

I wish I was somebody else. I wish I was actually cool.

But I can't do shit but fake it until all these lame interests wash away as I get older. God, I hope it's soon.

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

I'm still not writing for bts anymore but I just wanted to get these few requests out cause I don't wanna be a bitch and make these people wait so long for something and then have me say "sorry lol I don't wanna do it anymore 🙃" but anyways this is for @babyboytae1 so I hope you like it (even tho you requested it like eons ago and I only just now made it-)

Making BTS Cum in Their Pants

Jin

     In the moment, Jin would find this incredibly hot. The fact that you have so much power over him you can make him cum in his pants like an over excited teenager drives him nuts. His favorite thing is when you don't actually touch him, but just tease him with your words as he desperately ruts against your thigh, a pillow, or anything else you've given him permission to use. You'd be sitting on the couch trying to watch a movie when he comes up to you all hot and bothered, so you just keep staring at the screen while lightly patting your thigh and he gets the message. He'd be grinding against your thigh,whimpering and moaning into your ear and if he tried to take his pants off for some better friction you'd just look at him and say something like "Did I give you permission to do that doll?" And he just shakes his head with a high pitched whimper while speeding up the movement of his hips. From time to time you'd look over at him with a "Is that the best you can do?" or "Look at you doll, so desperate to cum you're using my leg when you could just be jerking off somewhere." Your simple words bring him to the edge faster than he thought they would so he starts begging for his release, hips stuttering as he waits for your reply. When finally told to cum his eyes roll back in his head as he cums all within the confines of his underwear. He'd sit there for a bit before he starts complaining about how he'll have to do the laundry again even though he just did it (I want Jin as my housewife ok, sue me) but he knows he'd do it again in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

Yoongi

     If it's just in his jeans or any other regular clothes he had worn for the day I don't really think he'd mind. He loves to make sure that you're enjoying yourself and if him cumming in his pants makes that happen then so be it. He'l be damned, however, if you try to make him do it in pretty clothes he's bought to dress all cute for you. If he's wearing lingerie or a pretty skirt/dress he's found at a store just for you, he's not going to let you ruin it just because you're horny. If you guys are in the foreplay section of the night and you have him grinding all up on you in a pretty pink skirt he wore with a nice white set of lingerie and you tell him to keep it on while he cums he'll just glare at you before ranting about how much it cost and how embarrassing it was for him to go get it and wasn't going to put himself through that again so you can just take what's been handed to you. You'll just giggle at him with a quiet apology as you press a kiss to his lips and carefully undress him before going on with the night you have planned. Sometimes you'll just bring it up as a joke because you have to admit his little rants are pretty darn cute since he talks with a pout on his lips.

Hoseok

     Hoseok is very loud and very sensitive so you just have to play with him out in public, what monster wouldn't? So you have definitely made him cum in his pants more times than he could count. In changing rooms, bathroom stalls, even a little ways down an alleyway close to your home when it was dark enough. He's in heaven when you push him up against a wall, looking him in the eyes as you mutter all the dirty things you wanna do to him while rubbing him through the front of his pants. Just that is enough to make him cum. The thought of someone stumbling upon you two and seeing how weak and pathetic he becomes under your touch makes him go crazy. Realistically you've taken precautions to assure that wouldn't happen but the thought is a turn on nonetheless. Long story short- make him cum in his pants in public. If you make him walk around for a bit with his release almost staining the front of his pants (don't worry, you give him a long hoodie or shirt so no one could see it unless they were looking for it) he would be willing to go another round as soon as you got home.

Namjoon

     Oh my goodness I've been waiting for this one!! Could you imagine? Making the leader of one of the most widely known groups in the world do something so dirty?? Yes please 🤤! He can look so calm and collected to everyone else but he'll be on his knees humping your leg with his pants still on in a heartbeat if you asked him to. Now that's a pretty picture. The leader of BTS pathetically humping your leg like a mutt, not caring if he ruins the clothes he has on. Even better if you force him to wear them a little while longer into the session, taunting him about what a dirty boy he is and letting him feel his release seeping through his pants and sticking to his legs. Y'know what I think I've thought about this a little too much-

Jimin

     Jimin is the kinkiest little bitch, as we all know, so he's down for anything you wanna do to him. He is really into humiliation though so if you make him cum in his pants and then sneer at him while telling him what a pathetic whore he is for getting off so quickly he will become hard as a rock again in seconds. It's not like it's something he would do unless you told him to do so, but he does still enjoy it to a certain degree. The humiliation factor? 10/10 would do it again just to hear you insult him, but he finds it a little uncomfortable after a while with his release sticking to his legs. He does prefer to stay pretty clean for the most part and doesn't like the feeling of cum on his skin. Unless of course you wanna cum on his face, then he's all for that. 

Taehyung

     Our sweet puppy Taehyung :,). I honestly don't really think he'd like it that much. It's sticky and uncomfortable and like hell he'd let you ruin his expensive ass pants. That shit's probably Gucci so I don't know about you but I couldn't replace that in a million years. He's also just a sweet boy who wants your praise so the humiliation factor isn't too appealing to him either. The only way I could really see him enjoying getting his release on his clothes is if he cums on his stomach or something and you wipe it up with his underwear and then shove it in his mouth as a makeshift gag as you fuck him. Other than that, ruining his clothes is a no go. 

Jungkook

     Our sweet baby boy is all for experimentation with you. If there is absolutely anything you'd wanna try out with his all you'd have to do is say the word. I think with this situation it would be more like J-Hope in the sense he would love for you to make a mess of him out in public. Making him walk around the rest of the day in his ruined jeans that would probably be more visible that J-Hope's cause Kookie does tend to wear tight jeans most of the time (which is honestly probably why you felt the need to pull him aside and take care of him cause damn those thighs) unless he's wearing sweatpants which still wouldn't help his case. But that's really the only time I think he'd cum in his pants. He doesn't really see the need to do it at home since there are so many other options but if you're out in public he's always down.

#dom!reader #dom reader #sub!kpop #sub!idol #sub kpop #sub idol #sub!bts #sub bts #sub!jin #sub!yoongi #sub!hoseok #sub!namjoon #sub!jimin #sub!taehyung #sub!jungkook #sub jin #sub yoongi #sub hoseok #sub namjoon #sub jimin #sub taehyung #sub jungkook #bts smut #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop smut

[egoludes]

satisfaction guaranteed.

summary: your super soldiers hear there’s a new contender in the bedroom; they intend to learn all about it.

pairing: stucky x reader.

notes: ok, i’ll admit it - this is so outrageously self-indulgent and fully inspired by a recent, um, purchase. i was hoping to get it out in time for valentine’s day, but then work kicked my ass - so consider it a delayed love letter to y’all heh. my apologies in advance to the manufacturers of the sex toy featured here; please don’t sue me? borders from deathlyrph!

warnings: nsfw / 18+, threesome, sex toy, implied & light overstimulation

He doesn’t mean to listen in - scout’s honor.

There just isn’t much that Bucky’s super soldier hearing misses and the raving of some very giddy --- and very drunk --- Avengers is nowhere near that list. He’s actually pleased to hear the way you, Natasha, and Wanda are carrying on when he rounds the corner. Missions have been taking a toll lately, keeping everyone on the team on edge and up late. You, in particular, have been distant, putting on a facade that never quite reaches your eyes, and he and Steve have been on wit’s end trying to perk you up.

The ladies, it seems, have it all figured out.  You’re laughing freely for the first time in weeks, and Bucky’s grateful that no one (particularly Sam) can see the way the sound makes him utterly lovesick. His adoration keeps him still a few seconds longer, basking in how free you seem, but he doesn’t intend to stay much past that. In fact, he’s a half-step into leaving when he hears it:

“So, wait -- have you tried it yet? The Satisfyer?” 

Confusion brings him to a full stop. Satisfyer? 

That feeling only grows, knitting his eyebrows, when you’re the one to answer with an emphatic, and damn near dreamy “Yes.”

Bucky’s an intelligent man and the name alone is a pretty effective context clue. Still, he doesn’t really put it together until Wanda squeals and Nat (who he can see in his mind’s eye, clear as day, leaning into you with that cheeky smirk) pushes you for more.

“It’s kind of...overwhelming,” you continue, pausing to refill your glass, “but in the best way. Like in a ‘How did I ever masturbate before this’ kind of way. My knees literally buckled when I got up after. Can you believe that? Buckled! I was fuckin’ woozy! ” He can tell you’re animated just by the way your volume starts to rise and whatever you’re doing must be endearing because even Natasha is chuckling.

Bucky still loves it, don’t get him wrong. In fact, he adores you excited like this, especially after all the darkness lately. But, there’s something genuinely puzzling about so much excitement around a sex toy. He hadn’t even known you’d bought something new. When had you tried it? Where were he and Steve?

His thoughts start to swirl, intrigue and curiosity mounting in a wave that he pushes past with a step, then another, as he reminds himself that he has somewhere to be.

No chance he’ll be forgetting about this, though. 

Steve hears about it from Bucky. 

Secondhand stories can be tricky; full of exaggerations and misunderstanding. But, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe it. He just doesn’t comprehend the implications of it until he experiences it for himself. 

That happens on a Saturday afternoon. 

You’d been tense in training, taking hits you’ve dodged a thousand times and fumbling moves you’ve done twice that. A bad bout typically doesn’t do you in, but Steve can tell by the way your attacks grow more and more stilted, that you’re overextending just to make blows meet. 

It gets so bad that he breaks one of his few cardinal rules -- never pulling rank with you or Bucky outside of missions -- to get you out of the spar, and your frustration with it is as clear as the exhaustion that sags your limbs. You’re out the door before he can apologize, or explain.

An hour later, he’s showered and changed, seeking you out in your corner of the compound with peace offerings at the ready. This time, they come in the form of your favorite snack and a promise to spar with you himself the next time you’re scheduled - no holds barred. 

But, when you pull open the door at his knock, he’s surprised to see that he may not need them.

You’re completely...sated. The tension you’d had in your shoulders when you left the gym is nowhere to be found and in its place is a sheen of satisfaction. It’s all over you: in a dopey smile, lidded eyes, and the faint whiff of your cunt he gets when he leans into you.

In an instant, he puts two and two together, and Steve feels his body warm at the realization that you’ve just finished touching yourself. And not just that: it had been so good that your entire mood’s flipped and you’re beaming at him, no walls or reservations.

He makes his apology all the same, though, and your smile widens as you reach for him and the snack in a tease: “Better not back out on that fight, Captain.”

He grins back, pleased you’re feeling better, but making a mental note to speak to Bucky as soon as you let him go.

I think we need to check out this ‘Satisfyer’.

They ask you about it on Valentine’s Day.

You’re running on the high of a beautiful evening: dinner in DUMBO and drinks in Brooklyn Heights. The latter -- a couple cocktails for you, white wine for your boys -- finds you buzzing as you let them into your room back at the compound. You feel eyes on your hips from behind, heavy gazes that sear the curves, and you sway pointedly, smiling at the sharp breaths that follow. 

You know where the night is going ---- know the way a good date makes them handsy. So the attention is no surprise. Neither is the cool press of metal to your back and the kiss to that spot under your ear. “Bed, pretty girl,” Bucky drawls against your skin, intent pressing -- and growing -- against your hip as he settles against you.

Steve rounds you from the other side, not touching but so close you can feel the rise of heat from his body. You look up just in time to catch him watching you back, blue eyes darkening with each step into your bedroom.

Your dress is easy work, pooling at your ankles with a few good pulls, But, Steve and Bucky take their time with everything else. You’re in something special, after all --- pretty lace and dewey colors that deserve an extra look, an extra touch. They’re on you the moment it’s revealed to them, thumbing the fabric with murmured praise through the lips all over your skin. 

The daze it sets follows you all the way to the mattress where you lay back against Steve’s chest (still clothed, to your chagrin) with his arms settled around you. His hands end up bracing your thighs, naturally at first, then deliberately as Bucky starts to kiss trails up and over your calf. With the latest string of missions, you can’t remember the last time you had their mouths on you and the anticipation as Bucky’s creeps closer is almost crippling. Your body tenses with each point of contact, eyes lidding as they watch him rise, inch by tortuous inch. 

“Sweetheart.” Steve’s voice pulls you out of your focus with a rumble you can feel in your back. “We wanna try something new with you tonight.” You turn just enough to watch him, answering with a hum to urge him on. “Can you tell Buck,” he continues, dipping to run his nose along yours. You feel tiny when he bears down on you like this, and he can see the way it affects you just in the flutter of your lashes. “--where you keep your ‘Satisfyer’?”

What?

In a split second, you’re sobered up, no hint of the lust or buzz that’d been following you for most of the night. Bringing toys to bed isn’t new by any means, but they have never, ever referred to one by name like that. Nor requested it specifically. It’s so startling that you don’t know what to say for a moment, mind utterly blank until you feel Bucky’s hand tighten around your thigh to bring you back.  “You -- my what?”

“Satisfyer,” Steve echoes, hand resting on your tummy. From below, you can feel Bucky’s eyes burning into the side of your face, expectant. “Buck’s heard you mention it before, and we’d like to know what all the fuss is about. ---- If you’re willing, that is.”

You look back and forth between them, mouth gaping for a second before you swallow your shock down whole. Two super soldiers can be a lot to manage on their own -- adding a toy that’s knocked you on your ass a few times over now seems like a very dangerous game. But, you can feel Steve hardening against your back and can’t deny the slick that’s seeping through your panties at the thought alone. So you nod, lip pulled between your teeth, and direct Bucky to the left side of your bottom drawer. 

When he’s back between your legs, it’s with the rose gold toy in hand. The mere sight of it makes you clench; something he doesn’t miss when he’s that close to your core. “Someone’s excited,” Bucky muses, brow arching before his gaze returns to his hand. The Satisfyer is unlike any toy he’s ever seen, shaped more like some alien gadget than a vibrator, and no amount of Google sleuthing could’ve prepared him for what it feels like in person. The smoothness of it in his hand, the unique curves along his palm. You bite back a giggle at how intently he inspects it, turning it over this way and that to get used to its weight.

“Hmm.. that’s definitely different,” Steve chimes in, as focused on the toy as Bucky is. It isn’t hard to work out how it’s used from the design alone, but what they’re still itching to know is what it does. How it unravels you so well, until your knees buckle even. And it doesn’t take long for that anticipation to trump their curiosity and you’re brought back to the moment when Steve ducks his head to your shoulder, pressing kisses to the skin there as he smooths hands down your inner thighs. He draws his palms back and forth a few times until they suddenly still, and he’s holding your legs -- and you -- wide open. “How about we give it a go, pal?” 

Bucky says nothing in return, but he probably doesn’t have to. The toy clicking to life is enough, a rhythm that fills the room with anticipation. Your tummy tightens at the sound -- another reaction neither man misses -- and the tension stays put, coiled tight until the Satisfyer closes over your clit.

The first pulse knocks air out of you that you hadn’t realized you were holding. The ones that follow unfurl you, melting your anticipation in favor of a soft, thrumming pleasure that coats you head to toe. It’s odd, having someone else use it on you, but in a good way. The best way. 

You surrender to it, relaxing into Steve’s hold as Bucky holds you open with two fingers.  So far, that’s no different than normal --- you’re always this pliant for them, putty beneath their fingers once they get to work. But, tonight, they’re greedy. Tonight, they want more from you; want whatever this toy has been able to draw out in their absence.

Bucky kicks things up a notch, turning the pulse up two speeds. The change is subtle to them, clicks coming just a smidgen faster and louder. For you, it seems to make all the difference. Immediately, you react, back arching up from its place against Steve’s chest with a sound that makes the Captain purr behind you.

“Mm...must feel good,” he notes, a hand gliding along your tummy until he can palm your breast. “Can you tell us, sweetheart?” He punctuates the question with fingers around your nipple, tweaking lightly.

Your lips part, but no words follow; not at first. It’s like your body and mind are disconnected, static in the places where they usually go together. The fuzziness is welcome, but hard to speak through, and it’s all you can do just to whine when Steve gives your nipple an urgent pinch. Bucky joins in with a cool finger pressing at your cunt, the light whirring from his arm giving you something concrete enough to focus on. ‘S good,” you finally pant, twisting to tuck your head into Steve, “so good.”

Bucky huffs out a chuckle and your entire body goes tight; with his face so close, you can feel every breath. “That mean you’re gonna let us finish you up, just like this?”

It’s a rhetorical question --- has to be, the way he presses the toy tighter to your clit. Still, you answer with an eager nod, legs widening some as if to give him the go ahead. “Please, Buck, ‘m close already, it -- right there, I-I’ll--” Your pleas are pretty, a desperate melody, and they appease every base instinct Bucky has. He’d wanted to keep you on edge a little longer to explore the toy more, but he’s a sucker for his girl; always has been. You win him over without even trying. 

Steve isn’t far behind, cock leaking in his dress pants seeing you so desperate. He hasn’t gotten his hand on the toy yet, but even he seems to feel its effect. The hand that isn’t cupping your breast spreads over your tummy, delighting in the way the flesh underneath tightens and spreads. You’re certainly close --- he knows your body as well as you do. And the thought of it makes him hungry, makes him press teeth into the skin behind your ear as he urges you on: “Go on, honey -- make a mess for us.”

Your peak comes fast after that, punching you in the gut with its intensity. The first wave of orgasm runs right through you, leaving a tremble in its wake, and your hips twist instinctively to escape the toy. Bucky, however, isn’t so forgiving, metal curling around your hip in a vice. Ride it out, he seems to say with a dark, lidded glance from between your legs. 

You whimper in response, head tipping back against Steve’s chest as you fumble for purchase in the warmth of Bucky’s free hand. 

Something tells you this will be a long night. 

Forty minutes later, you can’t see straight.

Your first orgasm had been gradual, as tentative as the men watching this new toy work you. But, after that, it’s like a flip switches in Bucky and Steve, making them greedy for as many more as they can get.

The second one isn’t long after the first. Bucky turns the Satisfyer up to the highest setting, the other end of the spectrum that you hadn’t even gotten a chance to try on your own yet. The first contact lights fire through your sensitive body and you’re on the brink in just minutes.  Toes stretching and curling into the sheets by Bucky’s hips, you’re practically squirming with need and it only takes one good twist of the toy for you to crumble all over again. They give you a break after that, but most of it is spent kissing you too long for you to catch your breath.

You don’t mind that too much, though.

The third orgasm is Steve’s fault. Ever the strategist, he starts thinking through the ways they can play with frequency and angle to make you cum again. You don’t notice it in your foggy comedown, but he’s fished his phone out and flicked through to a page he’s looked over more times that he cares to admit. And when Bucky settles between your legs to get you going again, he finally speaks up. “Buck, I found this review online---” Both you and Bucky turn to him, curiosity in the way you gape, but he’s making a face back that’s loud and clear:  ‘do not ask’. “---that said they were able to cum in a couple minutes with this alone. Had some interestin’ suggestions about how, too.” He grins around a Brooklyn drawl, that handsome face stirring something in you when it looks so devious. “You think we can get our girl finished faster than that?”

They pull it off -- embarrassingly easily at that -- and it’s in the pale of that third climax that they finally, finally press inside you. 

Your cunt is soaked, supple and warm around Steve as he sits you down over his cock. After so much play, the stretch is nothing, a pleasant burn in the pit of your belly that makes your eyes flutter closed. 

“Tell us how you feel,” Steve asks for the second time that night, his voice strained around the effort to keep from fucking you. Even if you’re taking him well -- easier than ever before, in fact -- he’s cautious not to lose his head, no matter how much he wants to. 

No matter how much the urge to plow you into your mattress dizzies him.

Your eyes are still closed when you respond, tongue over your dry lips as you part them with a needy sound. “S-Still good…,” you sigh, mind swimming. You want to move, start to move in a mindless search for some friction. But, the rocking doesn’t last long, stuttering to a stop when you hear the toy click to life  and try to focus through the haze of your pleasure with eyes darting for answers.

You find them in the smug grin on Bucky’s face as he palms the Satisfyer in one hand and works his cock out of his pants with the other. “What,” he purrs, voice lilted in a taunt, “you didn’t think we were done with this yet, did you?”

Oh yeah --- this’ll definitely be a long night.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #steve rogers smut #bucky barnes smut #tags will come after work!

[shemarmooresfedora]

Collision Course

Summary: You and Spencer were just bound to collide. Only fate could plan a first meeting that unique.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: fluff, minor car crash (no serious injuries), swearing, sexual harassment (specifically cat-calling from a stranger), mentions of eating a lot of food, implied allusion to sex (not specifically stated)

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: this is my one-shot entry for @ellesgreenaway ‘s 1k follower celebration! congratulations! <3 i’ve had this fic in my drive for a while but i never got around to finishing it until now

Masterlist

The metro was down for scheduled repairs today. JJ offered to bring Spencer in but he politely declined. He figured he should drive his car at least every once and a while so it doesn’t just collect rust in his parking spot.

Leaving his apartment 15 minutes earlier than he normally would to account for his rather slow driving, Spencer cautiously reversed out of his space.

He sighed in relief that he had not hit the neighboring cars. Spencer began to pull out of the parking garage. Unfortunately, he was so relieved from his little victory that he forgot to check both ways when he drove out of the parking garage.

Spencer slammed on the brakes but it was too late. He hit a young woman jogging and knocked her to the ground. Luckily, his average speed was that of a snail so he hoped her injuries were not too bad.

Spencer put the car in park and got out, “Oh god, oh god, oh god. Are you okay, miss?”

“I think so,” you were on the ground, assessing your body for any damage.

“Can you stand?” Spencer extended his hand to help you up.

You carefully stood, wincing a little when you put pressure on your left ankle.

“Is there anyone I can call? Do you want me to drive you to the ER?” Spencer frantically asked.

Your eyes widened, “No!” you stated a little too loudly, “Um I mean no thank you. I should finish my run anyways. I have a 5k for Alzheimer’s research coming up and I need to run or else I don’t raise any money,” you politely waved and took off again, much slower this time.

Spencer cringed as he watched you limp slightly every time you stepped on your left ankle, knowing it was his fault you were in pain. He sighed and pulled out his phone.

“Hey JJ, have you left yet? I need a ride, I’ll explain in the car.”

-

“Pretty Boy, how was your drive in?” Derek asked as soon as Spencer stepped off the elevator with JJ.

“I got about 20 feet and then hit someone with my car and had to call JJ so not great,” he admitted.

“Boy Wonder, you did WHAT? Are they okay?” Penelope gasped.

“She insisted she was fine but then she was limping away. I offered her a ride but she didn’t seem too keen on getting in a car with me,” Spencer explained.

“I wonder why,” Emily chuckled.

-

So there Spencer was. In the park in his only pair of short athletic shorts and a hoodie.

He had asked Penelope to sign him up for the 5k as a way to sort of make it up to the woman he hit. Plus, obviously it was for a good cause that was near and dear to his heart because of his mother.

Spencer had to take a lot of water breaks, periodically stopping to walk for a bit.

In the distance, he saw you on a bench and he suddenly felt the energy again to continue running to you. As he approached, he saw you tightening an ankle brace around your left foot and to make matters worse, you had a wrist brace as well.

Spencer considered just leaving you alone but he felt the need to apologize.

“H-Hello,” he awkwardly sputtered.

“Oh, hi,” you replied.

“I am so so sorry. Please let me pay your medical bills and any other expenses that I caused,” Spencer apologized.

“Unless you meant to hit me then it’s fine,” you stood from the bench.

“I definitely didn’t and I wasn’t on my phone or anything like that. I just barely ever drive but the metro was down today,” Spencer explained.

“You don’t have to pay my medical bills. I’m friends with a nurse so she did this for free. However, I would allow you to sponsor me for the 5k,” you answered.

“Absolutely,” Spencer nodded, “And funny story, you inspired me to register as well. I got everyone in my office to sponsor me.”

“That’s so great! The money is certainly going to a good cause.”

Spencer saw you smile for the first time since he met you.

“I’ve never been much of an athlete though. I barely passed my fitness test for work,” Spencer admitted.

“What kind of job has a fitness test?” you asked.

“I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI,” Spencer stated.

“Oh shit, you’re a federal agent? Maybe I will sue you and make bank,” you grinned.

Spencer’s face reddened.

“It was just a joke. You can laugh, then that means the incident is in the past and no hard feelings,” you smiled, “I’m Y/N.”

“Spencer.”

“Well, Spencer, if you ever need a running buddy, I’m more than happy to come along seeing as we both are training for the same thing. But I do have to warn you, this brace is kind of a bitch so I’m a little slower than normal.”

“I can assure you that you will probably still be faster than me with the brace on so maybe it was a good thing for me that I hit you with my car so you won’t be miles ahead,” Spencer grinned.

You laughed wholeheartedly, “See, Spencer! I’m laughing about it so no hard feelings, all is forgiven.”

“I’m just finishing up for the day but I was planning on being here again on Wednesday at the same time if you want to meet at this bench,” you offered.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Spencer nodded.

“See you around, Spencer. Hopefully not in your car though,” you winked and waved.

-

“Oh god, you’ve fallen in love with the chick you almost killed,” Derek groaned.

“Not love...well, yet anyways. She’s so pretty and easy to talk to and isn’t mean to me after everything that has happened and her laugh is like honey,” Spencer smiled softly, recalling the sound in his mind.

“Okay, lover boy,” Penelope giggled, “Did you get her number?”

“No but we’re meeting for a run tomorrow. We actually met at the park when I was training,” Spencer said.

“So she’s seen you in those short shorts and agreed to another meeting? Maybe you do have a chance, kid, cause you really put it all out there,” Derek smirked.

“Speaking of, I actually need to get more of them,” Spencer sipped his coffee.

“Just go all the way and get spandex. Leave nothing to the imagination,” Derek chuckled as Spencer rolled his eyes.

-

“Jesus, I’m going to have to hit your right leg this time if I’m going to have any chance of keeping up with you,” Spencer huffed as he bent over his knees to catch his breath.

“Well good news is that was four miles so you definitely will be able to run a 5k because it’s only 3.1 miles,” you encouraged him.

“Technically, it’s 3.10686 miles but I see your point,” Spencer heaved.

“I know a really good smoothie place nearby. Come on, it’s on me,” you grabbed his hand.

Luckily, Spencer’s face was already red from exercising so you weren’t able to see the blush that formed on his cheeks.

“No, it’s definitely on me. I know you said we’re fine but I am forever going to be indebted to you because of the incident.”

“Spencer, really just forget about it,” you assured him.

“I can’t, I have an eidetic memory,” he grinned.

“Ah, I see. Fine, you buy me one smoothie but then we’re even,” you conceded.

You were walking down the street to the cafe when you heard a whistle come from one of the cars driving by.

“Damn, your ass is looking sexy in those leggings,” a man hollered from his passing truck.

You flipped him off and tried to pull your shirt down as much as possible, crossing your arms tightly around your front.

Spencer unzipped his hoodie and extended it towards you, “Sorry, it’s a little sweaty but if you want to wear it, you can.”

You smiled softly and accepted the sweatshirt, feeling more comfortable now.

“I’ve got his license plate number memorized and I intend to file a police report. Unfortunately, reports like these usually don’t go very far but I’ll keep pushing it through. I’ll also call the company that was printed on the side of the truck and ask to speak to his supervisor,” Spencer spoke softly after a few minutes.

“Thanks, Spencer,” you leaned your head on his shoulder and sighed.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just doing what’s right. He had no right to make comments about your body,” Spencer said, wrapping a gentle arm around your upper waist.

-

“Welcome to Y/N’s carbo-loading extravaganza!” you opened the door of your apartment to let Spencer in.

“I brought dessert as requested,” Spencer held up a chocolate cake.

“I like how you think, Spencer. Dinner’s all ready,” you smiled.

“Spaghetti, meatballs, and crispy buttery garlic bread,” you pulled the bread out of the oven.

“Looks absolutely delicious,” he complimented.

“Eating carbohydrates before a race boosts the glycogen storage in your muscles allowing you to work out longer,” Spencer informed you.

“Interesting, I never knew the science behind it but I’m never going to complain about eating tons of pasta and bread,” you twirled some pasta on to your fork.

Halfway through the meal, Spencer accidentally got a sauce stain on his pale pink shirt.

“Oh no,” you said as he tried to dab it away.

“That needs to soak right away. I don’t want any casualties at the carbo-loading extravaganza. Give it to me to scrub and I’ll get you another shirt.”

Spencer unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off. You gulped at the sight of him shirtless, grabbing the shirt and heading to your bathroom sink to scrub it with laundry detergent.

“You can just grab any t-shirt from my room that you think will fit,” you called out to him.

Spencer settled on a light gray shirt with a golden retriever on the front.

“Okay, the stain is out! It’s just soaking now-“ you immediately stopped talking as soon as you saw the shirt Spencer was wearing.

He noticed your eyes were beginning to glisten with tears, “I’m so sorry. I can pick a different shirt,” Spencer was already beginning to pull it over the top of his head.

“No it’s fine, Spencer. That’s just my grandma’s t-shirt. I forgot I even had it.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he spoke guiltily.

“You didn’t know, besides it looks good on you anyways,” you smiled, “My grandma is the whole reason I’m running the 5k.”

“My mom has Alzheimer’s too so I understand that it’s extremely hard to watch a loved one go through that,” Spencer pulled you in for a hug.

You cried into his chest as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

After Spencer hadn’t heard any sniffles in a while, he whispered, “Do you have any tea I can make you?”

You nodded and Spencer guided you to the couch, wrapping you in a blanket before turning the kettle on.

-

Spencer answered the cheerful knocking at his front door early in the morning.

“Race day! Are you ready?” you exclaimed.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” Spencer smiled.

“I promise we are sticking together the whole time because it doesn’t matter how long it takes us as long as we finish,” you held up your pinky.

“Together,” Spencer affirmed, locking his pinky with yours.

The starting line in the park was only a short distance away from Spencer’s apartment so you and Spencer decided to walk there as a little warm-up.

You and Spencer were doing quad stretches when you saw his eyes wander to something behind you and then widen. His face immediately reddening.

“What?” you asked, turning around to see a group of people with a sign that read ‘Go Spencer and his girlfriend!’

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect them to do that,” Spencer stammered.

The poor boy was so flustered so you decided to take it easy on him.

“I don’t mind,” you shrugged with a slight smile.

“You don’t?” Spencer clarified, “I’m not very good with words or flirting in general but I would like to see you again after the race is over. Maybe I could take you out to dinner?”

“Yes but my only condition is...I’m driving,” you smirked.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that,” Spencer grinned.

An air horn sounded, signaling the start of the race.

“I think you’re going to have to catch me first, Dr. Reid,” you giggled as you sprinted ahead.

-

“It’s in sight, Spencer! We can do this!” you pointed to the finish line in the distance.

“Y/N, you’re going to have to carry me. I can’t,” Spencer heaved.

“If you finish this race, I will…” you cupped your hand to his ear and whispered something.

Spencer immediately perked up and started running again.

“Hey, wait up!” you laughed.

You and Spencer crossed the finish line at the same time. Spencer’s legs immediately gave out which caused you to fall too, collapsing on top of him.

“I know I’m really sweaty and gross right now but can I please kiss you?” Spencer whispered.

Your lips were pressed on his as soon as he finished his sentence. You honestly didn’t know how long you had been kissing for but you didn’t look up until you heard one of the race officials shout, “Hey lovebirds! That’s very sweet but other people are trying to cross the finish line.”

“Sorry!” you and Spencer apologized, scrambling to your feet.

“Not really,” Spencer whispered to you and you jabbed him in the side with your elbow playfully, stifling a laugh.

what slightly inspired this fic is one time @samuel-de-champagne-problems commented on one of my posts “i could never stay mad at spencer” and then i thought to myself “same. i couldn’t stay mad at him even if he hit me with his car” and now here we are... 🚙

taglist: (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #cm fanfic #spencer x reader #reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x fem!reader #ellesgreenawaybookclub

[reilikeslifting]

repost from katlfts but too many notes

HOW NOT TO LOOK SUS AS A MINOR

Alright guys, I’m no biggie lifter. I obviously haven’t pulled off $7,000 heists with the snap of my fingers ( and i seriously respect those who do ). But here are a few tips on how not to get watched for all my youngsters out there. These have all worked for me, but if you wanna debunk them or call bullshit then go ahead; I’m still learning.

Your Outfit- Okay, guys, I know that wearing all black and looking like you’re the grungiest skate kid that ever came out of Kurt Cobains’ ass is the look right now, but please, DO NOT TRY TO PULL OFF A HEIST LOOKING LIKE THIS.  As soon as you enter that S*phora the SA’s are gonna be up your ass. And I get it, it’s hard, looking like an edge lord is my aesthetic too, BUT DON’T FRET, THIS RULE DOES NOT APPLY TO SELECT PLACES. Such places as H*t T*pic, V*ns, Z*mies, T*lly’s, or basically any store where this kind of style is the norm. However, for most stores, try to dress in light colored, cute clothes. If you’re a teenage girl, wearing clothes from f2I is a good idea, but try to focus on the less grungie colors. Like pink (the color not the store). For the love of god, wearing pink as a teenager makes the employees so chill. Who would think that girl in the pink romper would steal a bunch of n*ked p*lettes? Obviously this also doesn’t apply to super fancy stores like M*chael K*rs i and shit, but I’ve never lifted from those kinds of stores where dressing like a goddess is the norm. Either way unless you can really pull off looking like a SUPER rich kid or can somehow make yourself look older I wouldn’t recommend lifting from those kinds of stores, cause as soon as minors enter all the eyes go onto them.

Makeup- Make it match your outfit! Cute, innocent, soft, NUDE. Unless it goes with your aesthetic then don’t go too flashy so that EVERYBODY is gonna be looking at you. But if you’re going to Sephora or Ulta this rule doesn’t apply. When going to these places look like you know what you’re doing! Contour, Highlight, look like even though you’re a kid you invest your allowance in makeup.

The act- When you enter, act like all the cameras are working and on you. Don’t look up at cameras ( if you just HAVE to then look with your eyes, not your face! ). Don’t look super shaky, don’t look around constantly, OR WANDER AROUND AIMLESSLY. Remember minors are watched more often than adults, so don’t act like a shoplifter. When you come in, know what you want, and act like you know what your doing! Look at decoy items, check the prices, put things in your shopping basket. When you get to what you really want don’t make a big deal about it. Make it look like any other item you picked up. If an employee asks if they can help you then say you’re just browsing or looking for a specific brand that you know they don’t carry, then they’ll leave you alone. However if employees won’t leave you alone or you see someone constantly following you as discretely as possible dump your shit and leave. It’s not worth your reputation to get caught. I know your first few lifts will make you terrified and nervous, and you may break some of these rules, but just breathe, chew gum, do whatever makes you calm down.

Concealing- If youre 13 and lugging around a big ass purse then that’s super sus. Instead, use cheap yet still cute purses in colors that aren’t black because some stores are starting to catch on that most lifters use black bags (purses from ch*rming ch*rlies are pretty good!). Also, DONT CARRY AROUND A BACKPACK. THAT IS THE SUSSEST THING OF ALL TIME ESPECIALLY FOR MINORS. Personally, however, I don’t even use purses/bring them unless I’m getting a bunch of stuff! I conceal on person by stuffing everything in my pants, bra, etc., (not pockets though). So if they ask to check your bag, they won’t find anything PLUS you’re a minor so they aren’t gonna pat you down or make you take your clothes off. And if they do you can sue them for sexual harassment haha. This is just how I like to do it though, and it always works. When its cold out I wear a huge PINK sweatshirt with no hoodie or pockets. I’ve made off with over $300 worth of makeup just by shoving everything under it.

I might think of more later but thats all i have now. I hope this is somewhat useful and if anybody would like to add on that’d be great.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

My thoughts on Sex Education, season 3.

⚠️⚠️⚠️SPOILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️

First of all, please try to remember that this is just my opinion. I'm nobody to judge whether the season was good or bad and I don't mean to hurt anyone.

With that being said, I'd like to begin by admitting that I liked these 8 episodes overall... but there were so many things that felt wrong to me.

I loved Jean's journey during her pregnancy and the way she tried to take care of everyone at the same time (although I kind of disliked Jakob for some things he said).

I loved Aimee and her desire to heal after the assault. The way she really wants to make her voice be heard was heartwarming and inspiring to me. Plus, her friendship with Maeve is one of the most beautiful I've ever watched (about this, I'll say something later on).

I loved Viv and her ambition that slowly became less important than her peers and their rights. She really wanted them to be happy in the end. I think that she didn't really understand how bad things with Hope were until the trip to France. And she redeemed herself in a great way.

I loved Lily and her journey towards acceptance of herself, even when others thought she was weird and silly. It was empowering seeing her so confident in the end.

I loved Adam's growth. It taught that even the most simple of passions can turn into something meaningful and that, no matter how bad you are, you can change.

Above all, I loved Maeve finally getting the chance to do something amazing for herself for once.

All of these things were wonderful, truly. But so many others I didn't like and I couldn't really understand as narrative choices.

Let me begin with the one I found the most annoying: Isaac's fake redemption arc. I know what you might say: "Of course you hate it! You ship Maeve and Otis!". Well, yes, I do. But it's not all about that. I might be exaggerating... but Isaac deleting Otis' message was beyond disrespectful to me. If you remember, at the beginning of the second season, Isaac was really mean to Maeve... but he had the opportunity to redeem himself. He had the chance to say he was sorry and to be a better person to her, even though he had been around for so little time. However, when it came to Otis to have the same opportunity, he decided that he wasn't worth it. Isaac, who didn't really know Otis, took away from him the chance to at least say that he was truly sorry for being such an ass to Maeve. But, what feels even worse to me is that he took away even Maeve's possibility to decide. We don't know how it would have gone, if Maeve had listen to what Otis had to say. Maybe she would have forgiven him. Maybe she would have still chosen Isaac, because Otis hurt her too much. Who knows what might have been? No one. And why? Because Isaac decided for everyone. And I don't care if he thought he was protecting Maeve or if he was angry. It. Was. Not. His. Choice. To. Make.

Also, I didn't really understand why Maeve wasn't as mad as I was with him. Sure, she stopped talking to him for a couple of days. But the moment she started to speak with him again, they hooked up. Too fast, too soon, in my opinion. He apologised? Sure. But so did Otis. And he didn't get to be so easily forgiven.

But let's move to the another point I have a lot to say about: Otis and Ruby. I really liked them together. I found them cute and funny. But still... Ruby struggled for real to accept Otis for who he is. And Otis acted the way she wanted to keep her close. For example, he shaved off his moustache for her. Now, most of the fandom hated that moustache... but again, Otis seemed to care a great deal for it. He kept repeating that he spent months growing it. But Ruby didn't like it. And he sacrificed something he was proud of for her. But okay, a lot of people would do something like that for their loved ones. But then he had to dress like her friends to fit in. To be fair, Ruby gave up that idea pretty soon... but she just reacted to Otis refusing to do it. If I had to make a comparison between her and another love interest (not Maeve, 'cause I'd be biased), I'd choose Ola, of course. She was putting pressure on him in other ways, but she never wanted him to be any different than who he was. Love, after all, means acceptance. And perhaps Ruby loved Otis for he saw the hardest part of her life, without judging her. I wish it could have been the same for him.

About this, I've noticed many people being disappointed in Otis not saying he loved her too, because it means that he was just using her. Well... no? I mean, he was the first one to admit that, if she was willing to give him more time, he might have learned to love her. Should he have made it clear to her earlier in the relationship? Sure! Can we condemn him for not feeling the same? Absolutely not! Feelings can't be forced. And I'm also sure that he thought he was done for good with Maeve. He suffocated the love he had for her so much that the clinic made him sick and that he admitted his feelings only when pressured by Maeve herself.

In conclusion, I think that Otis and Ruby might have had a wonderful friendship, if they were only given the chance. They have that kind of chemistry.

Talking about people who are better off as friends: in my opinion, that's all Maeve and Aimee will ever be. I honestly can't see anything romantic in them. The purity of their friendship means so much to me and it's, at least for me, so different from the "Friends who are more than friends" energy. We're so lucky to have such wonderful actresses to play these characters... and what I see in their gestures and glances tells me of a great friendship. They're so different from Emily and Sue in Dickinson (they're supposed to be just friends, but they're clearly not) or even Judy and Jen in Dead To Me (another pair of friends that can be ambiguous with each other).

Moving to another couple, whose development I didn't understand: Adam and Eric. I'm not a great fan of their relationship. I like them both as individuals. But the bully-victim dynamic they used to have wasn't the best one to start a relationship with. I could see the appeal though. So much that, I was truly happy for them, when they said their first I love you's. And every step Adam made in the right direction made me smile, since that it took him a long time to grow up. Eric seemed happy with him too. Until he went to Nigeria. I sincerely loved the whole trip... but something felt wrong in him founding what he truly wanted there, where he couldn't even tell his family he had a boyfriend. The scene in the taxi gave me chills. I felt the risk he was taking by going with a stranger to a gay club. A stranger that he kissed almost out of nowhere (whether it was the heat of the moment or Adam not replying to him, I'm not sure). It's the second time he cheats on his boyfriend. And I think Eric deserves far better as a character.

My question about this whole drama is: "How come Eric found out that he wanted to be free in Nigeria and not in England?". If it's true that going to the club made him realise he wanted to be among people like him, it makes the whole situation even more absurd. Because there are plenty of gay bars and clubs in England. Why not go to one of them? My theory is that they wanted to build a good romance with Adam, then build tension between them and in us and end the whole thing with their breakup (probably to make Adam fall in love with Rahim).

I swear I'm almost done. I want to discuss one last topic with you all.

Maeve going to America like that felt so rushed. It's probably another strategy to make us want to see more of the show. And it surely worked. But still, it has, at least for how they developed it, nothing to do with Maeve maturing. The idea itself was amazing. I loved her getting the opportunity of a lifetime. But she literally decides to go the evening before (which is not even realistic. In real life, you have a deadline until which you can pay to go wherever you want. If you don't, your place is given to someone else), after getting the money from her mother. Now, where does that money come from? She might as well have stolen it, since she didn't have it before. In my opinion, this part of the story could have gone differently with little effort and the same outcome. How? Well, since that basically everyone thought she deserved to go to America, why couldn't have her classmates and teachers organised a fundraiser? Even in secret, so that she couldn't get angry for their "charity". It would have been so much better and so wholesome to see everyone in that school give a little sum for her, even to thank her for the help they got from the clinic.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for talking so much, but this season didn't go as expected and I truly needed to vent :P.

Thank you for listening❤

#sex education #sex ed netflix #sex ed #sex ed s3 #maeve x otis #otis milburn #otis x maeve #maeve wiley #jean milburn #ola nyman #isaac goodwin #ruby matthews #eric effiong #adam groff #asa butterfield #emma mackey #ncuti gatwa