#real life conversation

[dogwatch05]

Conversations 3

Human 1 : "What are you doing? Put it back and buy it at Walmart."

Human 2: *Feral Hiss*

Human 1 to Human 3: "She hissed at me!"

Human 2: "That was not intentional"

Alien: "I need a new job"

#humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #real life conversation #minus the alien

[lunawolfiefoxy]

Malon: Anything you wanna get Time for his birthday?

Legend: He'll get nothing and like it.

Malon: *chuckles* A-anything you want to get TIME for his birthday...?

Legend: He can have, my favoritism. And he doesn't even have that.

Malon: I thought you were gonna say 'he can have me'

Legend: No, he doesn't get me, he just gets my thoughts.

Real life conversation with my mom

#this is dumb #real life conversation #lu quotes #lu time #lu malon #lu malink #lu legend

[ematooney]

Me in my room: …

Mother walks in: Whatcha doin in the dark?

Me, in a voice of a thousand demons: Discovering the truth behind our celestial body we call Earth and the meaning of our existence.

Mom: …

Mom: We have leftover pizza in the fridge.

Me: Oooooo pizZA!!!!11!! X3

#this is my life in a nutshell #me and mom’s conversations #new meme template guys! #relatable #real life conversation

[aethtalon]

So I have a lot of... unusual conversations with friends and acquaintaces and usually I do not remark upon them.

But one I had recently got so absurd that I had to share (with permission and encouragement from the other conversationalist)

Its been a few days so I don't remember the exact wording, but it went something like this:

Me: So I watched the first Sam Raimi Spiderman movie for the first time in about a decade this past weekend. And honestly I thought it was gonna be way worse based on how people rag on that trilogy. Actually, I think its biggest weakness was the amount of time it covered while trying to only hot the highlights left a lot of gaps I had to fill in for myself. The only other thing that bothered me about the movie was something that I don't actually want to complain about, my brain just kinda fixated on it.

My Friend: *curious noises*

Me: Well, its the spider. The spider that bit Peter. The spider that gave Peter his powers.

It escaped from containment and we see it up by the ceiling. And it descends, bites Peter, gets shaken off by Peter, and then crawls away. It was still alive. Are you telling me that it never bit anyone else and gave them powers even tho it descended and bit Peter for literally no reason???

Friend: Well, ya know, it ended up on the floor so it probably got stepped on

Me: okay fine, sure. But that still begs the question of why it bit Peter in the first place. There was no reason for it to leave its web in the first place and much less reason to bite Peter!

Friend: well maybe it just had a feeling about him.

Me (incredulous): are you trying to say that the spider had a Spidey Sense moment telling it to bite Peter?

Friend (enthusiastic): Yeah! Or, you know, spiders can float on electrical currents for (some large numer) (500?) miles! And Peter was kind of a Negative Nancy for most of that film. And the spider just escaped so it had to be feeling pretty good. And you know, opposites attract, maybe tgey were like, ionized-

Me (baffled and agog): are.. are you trying to claim... that Peter got hit by Spider Lightning???????

Friend: YEAH!

#spiderman #peter parker #spider lightning #spiderman 2002 #Spider Lightning #real life conversation

[clownfuckthenikolaikinnie]

I don’t remember the before convo but I said this once

#idfk dude #my sanity is gone #real life conversation #geography???? What’s that

[crazysleepydreams]

My younger brother: How do I know if someone likes-likes me?

Me: You ask them if they like you.

Our sister: WTF!? No you don't ask them! You look for cluess!

The both of us: What cluess?

Our sister: You know those lil' clues you dropp to tell someone you like-like them, but without telling them?

We: .... So we don't ask them?

Our sister: The two of you are hopeless! *leaves the whattsapp call*

My brother: So I ask them?

Me: Yep the worst you can get is a no.

#random post #siblings #sibling love #real life conversation #could be read as #incorrect quotes #was i wrong #i mean they said yes #sooo it wasn't useless

[endreal]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

#Endreal in real life #good for thinking #actual factual conversations #last place

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[pancakes-and-justice]

Me, at therapy last week: I think I have really bad attachment issues.

My therapist, who knows all about my parents, in full sarcasm: gosh, I wonder why.

#i'll shut up eventually #real life conversation #anyway #we love the long term effects of emotional neglect

[canigohomenoow]

#these are texts taken from conversations i’ve had in real life #i love them your honor #they fight over who’s color is red #i love their bickering #they actually hate each other #they’re all just complex little blorbos to me #they’re so older sister younger brother #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #batfam #tim drake #batfamily #dc #red robin #red hood #batkids

[otaku553]

Ok so I have been stewing this crossover au in my brain nonstop for the past few days and. I am nothing if not committed to the bit, so. Volume cover redraws :)

Here are the originals:

If you want to read more about my one piece spy x family crossover, keep reading!

So the idea is simple! Crossover reincarnation au where ASL is reborn in Spy x Family. They’re each born separately and none of them are born with the same names as their previous lives, and with no way of finding each other, they each find their own thing to do in the world.

Sabo, too used to the dangers of being a spy, eventually finds a cause to devote himself to again, in preventing war from engulfing the country he was reborn in. Ace, drawn to fire as he was in his previous life, used arson as a means to rob rich people for sustenance and survival, and is eventually scouted and hired by Garden as a fire specialist and assassin. And Luffy, though born in perhaps the poorest condition, grows up happily and takes whatever part time jobs he wants to do.

The thing about Sabo is that, as much as he seems like a young man of good repute and high standing within society, everyone in WISE knows that he is a massive nuisance. Nobody knew in the beginning how a child less than half the age of most of their veteran agents could have the same skills and knowledge in their profession. Sabo was— and still is— hyper competent, and by the time WISE figured out just how much of a menace to society he was, it was too late.

Ace forgot for the first few years of his new life that he wasn’t made of fire, and consequently, received multiple accidental burns. This did not deter him, however, from growing up to be a very skilled arsonist, well-practiced in every which way to start a dumpster fire or house fire. As a teenage he would use this often to draw attention as he robbed rich people blind. When he was caught, he was given an ultimatum by Garden: join them and receive payment for starting fires and causing problems under contract, or face the government and authorities for his crimes. Begrudgingly, he joined Garden, but eventually comes to appreciate that he can make substantial money in his element.

Luffy is Luffy. No telepathy or experimentation, no fancy schools, no gimmicks or secret identities. But he has still lived an extremely colorful life in this world, full of fascinating and kind individuals who have helped him grow up healthy and relatively happy. He goes where he is free, and he takes whatever part time jobs he wants in order to make the minimum he needs to survive.

Ace and Sabo find each other first, in their late teens, and neither of them realize that the other remembers their previous life, but both refuse to separate. (Sabo thinks Ace doesn’t remember, because Ace didn’t recognize him. Ace never saw Sabo grow up past 10, however, so he doesn’t recognize older Sabo immediately. By the time he does realize who exactly Sabo is, Sabo has backtracked and pretends to know Ace from a dream, or from somewhere else.)

Sabo’s attachment to Ace, predictably, causes problems between Sabo and WISE, but by then, Sabo is indispensable to the organization, and they make an exception for Sabo to be able to remain with Ace, so long as Ace never finds out what Sabo’s actual job is. Ace, on the other hand, hides his job because he doesn’t want his brother, who he has just found and who does not know Ace well enough yet, to know that he makes a living from killing people.

And they find Luffy sometime afterwards, prior to the beginning of the Spy x Family canon. Luffy figures out, not long after moving in with his brothers, both of his brothers’ secret occupations and the fact that both of them remember their past memories. He thinks it is common knowledge, however, and so he never brings it up.

#one piece #spy x family crossover #sabo #monkey d luffy #portgas d ace #crossover #I have so many ideas for this au #I’ll probably write like a drabble series for it #maybe. if I get around to it #extra things: #Loid and sabo get paired on a nonzero number of missions as siblings #they are only 6 years apart in age and they’re both blond so WISE is like.. ‘it’s free real estate’ #every time this happens sabo finds a way to sneak into conversations that they’re actually cousins instead #this annoys loid a LOT because he thinks sabo can’t keep a cover to save his life. sabo is aware but he only has 2 brothers #and even in disguise he refuses to let someone else take ace and luffy’s place #ace’s codename within Garden is either ‘flame lily’ or ‘pyracantha’ #the latter being another name for the firethorn plant #yor has only heard of him in passing and has not met him in person before. but she knows that she is sent whenever he blunders and lets #someone see his face #Luffy is kind of just chilling! he takes a lot of part time jobs everywhere #to the point that loid is briefly worried that he’s a tail or stalker or something since he keeps seeing luffy around #Anya really loves playing with Luffy though because luffy has such vivid thoughts of the ocean and being a pirate #ok that’s it for now #I am very. brainrotting

[dogwatch05]

Conversations 2

Human 1: "Meat lover's pizza"

Human 2: "Meat lover's pizza?"

Human 3: "Meat lover's pizza... y e a h"

Alien: "W h a t ?"

#humans are space orcs #humans are weird #hfy #humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #real life conversation #minus the alien #DogWatch05

[syn0vial]

my gun-loving, car guy, "i'm the straightest man i know" brother who just finished baldur's gate 3 talking about astarion:

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #we had a long conversation about the end of the game #mostly about astarion and karlach #he says he took multiple days to decide how to handle karlach's ending :`D #but i was just so amused by his reaction to astarion lol #he's like ''i loved my paladin's bromance with astarion! he's my best friend!' #and i was like ''oh that's nice i never even got out of neutral approval with him when i was playing paladin'' #and he was like ''you can check characters' approval? o.O'' #so while astarion was def his paladin's best friend‚ i'm not so sure his paladin was astarion's best friend if you know what i mean 😂 #he was also unhappy that his character just let astarion run off at the end without trying to follow him and make sure he was okay #and at gale for making a snarky comment about it #he was like ''i should have let him ascend 😭'' #''if this was real life i wouldn't just let my friend run off like that!'' #also: ftr despite my facetious description above let it be known that my brother is the kindest most accepting brother a dyke could ask for #he just also has a lot of stereotypical ''straight guy'' interests

[onsecondandfirstplace]

me:

my 4-year old brother: can we buy a plant that has teeth

#real life conversation #i wish we could little guy #siblings things #siblings #siblings textpost #mine #from life #family things #kids #insomnia ramblings #ramblings #plants #plantlover

[agentc0rn]

Lost in the mochi matrix

#pokemon sv #pokemon dlc #pokemon fanart #pokemon sv dlc #pokemon #my art #mochi mayhem #pecharunt #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet dlc #I found the word mochi matrix too funny to not forget - came from a real life conversation during Christmas--- #okidogi #munkidori #fezandipiti #ogerpon #such a ball of menace it is

[courtrecord]

honestly i hate how that “maybe the curtains are just blue” post has become shorthand for anti-intellectualism and shit bc as someone who has an utter passion for media analysis now, I WAS THAT PERSON IN HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH CLASS.

english class never taught me how to analyze stories, it taught me how to remember what things the teacher said were “symbolism” and how to take quizzes where we had to match a quote to the character who said it. i didn’t give a shit about any of it, bc literally why should i. it was bullshit.

there’s this idea online that people are forgetting or rejecting what they learned in english class when they’re bad at media analysis, and maybe that’s a little bit true, but i think the much bigger problem is they never learned it in the first place. cinemasins & “maybe the curtains are just blue” aren’t convincing people to abandon an intellectualism they already had, they’re filling a void.

when all you learn in high school is to write on the test “blue = depression”, why is it surprising that so many people don’t give a shit about the curtains.

#media analysis #i literally didn’t care about criticism until i started watching video essays in 2017 #and they taught me that u could actually do interesting things with analysis #and i cannot fucking stand this shit that pretends people should all know better #also it’s not new; people who act like media literacy is getting worse are so fucking funny like #have u met an adult. have u spoken to say. an adult family member #ever in ur life #ur just on the internet now. ur seeing a million bad takes that used to be reserved for in-person conversations #or maybe writing into a paper or magazine #get real #get fucking real #1k