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sentientcave · 21 days

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Retirement Party

Chapter 5 - Wouldn't It Be Nice?

<<First Chapter - < Prev Chapter -

Contains: No Y/N, Kidnapping, Forcible relocation, Dubcon, Plus-sized Reader/OC, female Reader/OC, John introduces Doll to some normal people, Everyone learns new things about each other, Manipulation, PTSD, Doll has a tragic backstory, Doll is kinda sorta Catholic? Who knew (me I knew)

~3.8k - MDNI - Dark fic! Please mind the content warning above but honestly this chapter is pretty mild all considered.

Ghost, Soap and Gaz come back a few hours later with the blue sports car (a bit scratched up, but tail-light repaired) and a pick up truck that looks a lot like the one John had before, but a generation older, and green instead of gray. John speaks to them briefly before he coaxes you into the truck and drives off, promising that the others will be gone before you get back.

He drives a few miles down the road, and pulls up in front of a little farmhouse. It looks idyllic, children and a dog playing in the yard. Two people on the porch wave, and John hops out and circles around right quick to open your door and help you down.

The couple trots up to greet you both. "Who's this?" The woman asks, looking at you and beaming. "You finally introducing us to a girlfriend?"

"Doesn't feel like the right word, does it, doll?" John winks at you, like your circumstances are all just a funny little blip, nothing nefarious or terrifying about it.

"No, it doesn't," you agree, keeping your face carefully neutral. "I'm Dalisay. Nice to meet you, um, Melissa, right?" You stick your hand out and shake hers. There’s no sense in being rude to them, just because they know John. He’s probably smart enough to keep his old life, and his boys away from his new one as much as possible.

"The very same! We were a bit worried John was going to be an eternal bachelor. Nice to see he's found someone." She introduces her husband, Rob, and her kids, Hannah, Haley and Jackson, who are ten, seven and five, respectively.

"Do you want to see the puppies?" Haley asks, grabbing your hand. Jackson grabs the other one and they pull you along to the garage, not waiting for an answer. You very deliberately don’t look over your shoulder at John, because you’re fairly sure that he’ll be looking back at you with a sickeningly hopeful expression. His comments from last night still ring in your ears, and you’re not willing to indulge that foolish fantasy of his.

The puppies are in a play pen with high enough walls to contain them, but still allow their mother to hop in and out. She hops out to inspect you, sniffing your outstretched hands warily. Her tail starts to wag after a moment, and you give her a proper pat, smiling. The dog has soft ears and a silky, black and tan coat, but you're not sure what type of dog she is.

"What's her name?" you ask, kneeling down.

"Bonnie-bell," Hannah says. "And our other dog is Charaid."

"Proper Scottish names," you say. The kids all have a slight burr, and although Melissa sounds scouse, it's the first hint as to where you are.

"Da said we was gettin' too English, livin' in London," Haley says. "I like it better here anyway. Mum says maybe we can get some coos. "

"I grew up near Aberdeen," you say. "But I've lived in Manchester too long. Lost my accent."

"No' far off, then, aye? We're only about an hour and a bit south and west," Rob says, appearing at the open garage door to supervise. His stern face looks friendlier now that he knows you're not proper English. "Was worried John dragged some poor city girl out'f England to live out here."

You hum. "Well, I am something of a city girl now. Been in Manchester since I was seventeen."

"Weel, welcome home then," Rob says with a wink. "We'll get ye proper re-acclimated soon enough." He leans over and plucks a puppy out of the sleeping pile inside the pen, and hands it to you. The pup is at the age where its somewhere between looking like a potato and a proper dog, maybe six or seven weeks old. "Gordon setter, by the by," he says. "Good dogs."

"Cute too." You settle the puppy in your lap, petting its soft little head. Bonnie-bell licks your wrist and hops back into the pen to lay down next to the others.

"Ye want one? This girl's no' spoken for yet. John's been hemmin' and hawin' about it, but I figure he wouldna want ta leave ye home alone, neither."

"Oh, I'm not sure I'll be staying that long. I'm only here because there was an incident at my apartment and John wouldn't hear of me staying anywhere else." You're not certain why you're stretching the truth to fit around what he and his wife think is happening, but you have no idea what John would do if you did say something. Maybe he would laugh it off like you were making a joke, or maybe he would snap. You don't really think he would hurt these people, but there's a wide-eyed prey animal in the back of your mind that warns you to be cautious, to be careful.

"We'll talk about it," John says from behind you. You hadn't even noticed his approach, with the noise the kids had made when they dashed back outside. "I'm trying to convince her to stay."

"Ye've gotta buy her a ring, ye daft bastard," Rob says, laughing. "A good catholic girl isna goin' ta wait for you ta get yer head out'f yer arse."

"If you don't, I'll introduce her to some lads in town that will," Melissa threatens. "Pretty girl like her has better options than you, old man. Better make your move before she realizes it." She swats John on the arm playfully.

You laugh nervously, touching the little cross around your neck absently. The puppy in your lap seems to sense your discomfort, because she starts wiggling in your arms and trying to lick your chin, little tail wagging. John kneels down beside you so he can pet the puppy too, eyes creased with a smile. "Is that it, doll? You need me to buy you a ring?"

"John," you say warningly. "We don't need to talk about this right now."

"No, I suppose you've had a rough morning. I'll try again later."

"You're impossible."

"Think you might kind of like that about me," he says.

"Not remotely. I think you're an awful, stubborn man," you tell him. Your voice comes out softer and sweeter than you intend, like you don't really mean it, even though it's true. The smile around his eyes grows deeper.

"I am." He picks up the puppy and holds her up in front of his face. "What do you think, girl?" he asks. The little dog's tail wags furiously, and she answers with a high pitched yip. And then she endears herself to you by trying to bite John’s nose. He looks stunned for a moment, but he grins when you start laughing. “Guess we’re all in agreement then,” he says, setting her down in the pen and standing up.

You accept his hand up, and quickly put a little distance between the two of you, before he anchors you to his side with a solid arm, or tries to reel you in close for a kiss. Rob and Melissa invite you in for a cup of tea, and somehow you end up sitting at a dining room table that’s obviously mostly used for crafts, and handed a piece of blank printer paper by Haley, and told by Jackson that you should draw dragons with them. The walls of the dining room are filled with tacked up juvenile masterpieces— Dragons seem to be a particular fixation of Jackson’s, whereas Hannah and Haley have more varied portfolios.

John stands leaning in the door to the kitchen, talking to Rob and Melissa quietly enough that you can’t quite pick up his words over the children’s chatter. You hate him a little for this, dangling Rob and Melissa’s idyllic little life in front of you. The implication is obvious. We could have this, his blue eyes seem to say when you look his way. Wouldn’t that be nice?

It’s frustrating, and confusing. You want to keep him at arms length for your own safety, but he’s already doing his best to roll right past your doubts and better judgment, like they’re just silly barriers between now and the future he’s dreamed up for the two of you.

And worse, you do want it.

“Didn’t know you were an artist,” he says on the drive back. Jackson had been so excited about the dragon that you drew for him that he’d shown his parents and John.

“There’s a long list of things you don’t know about me,” you say.

"For now. We'll get there, sweetheart."

You hum, looking out the window. Spending time with the Stuarts has you wistful and homesick for something you can't get back. Days like this, you'd usually pour yourself a glass of wine, look through your family photo albums and have a good cry before going to bed early. It's been a while since it's caught up with you like this, but you'd always been reliant on your routine, burying grief in structure and familiarity. "Do we need to?"

"I'd like to."

"I'm not going to be what you want me to be."

John drums his fingers against the steering wheel. "What is it that you think I want?"

"Some little housewife. Someone soft and sweet to come home to."

"You seem plenty soft and sweet to me."

You sigh, pulling your arms around yourself. "I'm not consistent. I don't know what Johnny told you I was like, but he only knows me from work. I'm not like that all the time."

"I don't expect you to be."

"You say that now, but you'll change your mind."

"I'm not stupid enough to change my mind based on a bad day or two, doll. You're allowed to be upset. I wouldn't blame you if you spend the next week slamming doors and snapping at me. I'm still going to like you." He puts a hand on your knee and squeezes gently. Men like him shouldn't be allowed to have such attractive hands, and you shouldn't be attracted to hands like his, scarred knuckles, a few fingers broken and healed crooked. You know he's killed people, know it would be so easy for him to kill you. It turns your stomach that you feel any kind of desire for him at all.

Men like him are no different than the ones that killed your parents. Dealing death is not a noble trade, there's nothing honourable about exporting violence.

You push his hand away, and keep your eyes trained on the window.

He sighs, but he doesn't press the issue, just clicks on the radio to fill the silence.

When you get back to his house he sets you up in a cozy room down the hall from the more open main space where the kitchen is, an office of some kind with a couple of arm chairs and a desk with a clunky looking laptop set on top. The room smells kind of smoky, but you're just glad to have a door you can close while he "moves some things around". He opens the laptop up so you can watch something, but you just curl up in one of the armchairs and fall asleep.

When you wake, the door is open, one of your blankets is draped over you, and there's a mug of tea sitting on the desk, alongside a couple biscuits. You uncurl, your muscles stiff and joints cracking from not moving for too long, and pick up the tea. It's cold, like it had been left a while ago, but you drink it anyway, and eat the biscuits. There's a note underneath, explaining that John had run out to the shops, and that he'd be back by 18:00. You shake your head, and check the time on the laptop. 18:00 exactly.

Military habits must die hard. You imagine he’s usually prompt too, so you wander out into the main room, and put the clean dishes in the rack away. You realize that the living room side has been rearranged, condensed to a slightly smaller footprint, with some open space left by the far corner behind the bigger couch. The smaller leather sofa has been replaced with the little red love-seat from your apartment, and your T.V. is sitting on it’s familiar perch on the refinished credenza that you’d painted twining vines and little red flowers up the side of. You’d found it on by the curb on the Kinsey’s street a few years ago, and your friend Ripley had bused over and helped you carry it all the way back to your apartment.

You’re not sure you like seeing more of your things merging into John’s house, like any of it belongs there when you still want to insist that you’ll be leaving soon. You hate him for being presumptuous, but you can’t help but think it’s sweet, too, that he makes space for you so readily, that he’ll happily include your painted flowers and colourful blankets and bright red couch into space that was all his just twenty four hours ago. That he would leave you tea and biscuits for when you woke up, that he would tuck a blanket around you while you slept. You’re not used to someone wanting to take care of you, and it feels strange.

Strange, but nice too.

You glance at the clock on the wall, realizing that it’s twenty past six, and John still isn’t back. It’s getting darker out there, the sun nearly setting, and as much as you try to tell yourself that you’re not worried, it’s hard to deny the stab of relief when you finally see the truck's lights pull up the wooded drive.

You slip on your trainers and step outside as he parks. He grins at you around a lit cigar as he hops out. “Did you miss me, doll?” he asks, insufferably smug.

“Your note said you’d be back at six,” you say lamely. “I just wasn’t sure if you’re usually on time.”

“Usually am. Got caught talking to Wells, down on the corner. Seems someone drove right through his fence last night. Teenagers, like as not. I’m goin’ to help him fix it tomorrow.”

“Oh.” You grimace. He must know it was really you. “Sorry about that.”

“No harm. By the sounds of it, you’re quite the driver. Soap said you nearly ran him off the road. That what they teach these days?”

“Defensive driving is well and good, but offensive driving gets you the last good spot in the lot,” you say.

He laughs out loud at that, and leans over to pick up a big paper bag from the passenger side. “Here, can you take this in while I grab the groceries?”

You take the bag (which is slightly greasy and smells like curry), and shift it to one hip. “Can I take anything else?”

He nods and hands you a second paper bag, this one with two wine bottles inside. “Wasn’t sure if you liked red or white, so I got both.”

You settle the bags in your arms and turn to walk away. “Bad time to tell you I like rosé hm?” you tease, glancing over your shoulder.

“Terrible timing. But that’s alright. One more thing, doll.”

You turn back toward him, and he’s right there. One big hand cups your jaw and then his lips are on yours, pressing a kiss that tastes like smoke against you. You stand frozen, holding onto your cargo for dear life, too surprised to do anything. It’s just as well, because in that moment you’re not sure if you’d slap him or pull him closer.

He pulls away without trying to deepen the kiss, which is a relief. You’re certain that you’d drop dinner and the wine.

“John, that wasn’t fair.” Your feet are still frozen in place, and his hand is still on your cheek, his fingers threaded into your hair.

His eyes practically sparkle. He’s entirely too pleased with himself. “Not fair because I kissed you, or not fair because I stopped before we got to the best part?”

Your cheeks flame hot, and you pray that he can’t feel it. “You can’t just— You’re impossible.” It takes concentrated effort to take ordinary, measured steps to the door instead of running. The effect he has on you is apparently very obvious. He never would have tried it if he didn’t know you were teetering on the edge of giving in already.

Boundaries need to be set-- Set and followed-- before you can really even contemplate letting this get any further. Unchecked, you have no doubt that John will have you underneath him in a matter of days. Once that happens you know he'll never let you go, and you'll never have peace of mind if you don't really get to know him first. You know he's not as good as he makes himself out to be, but you suspect he's a better man than your deepest fears might whisper to you. He's genuine about his wants, but that's not enough. You need to know him before you can trust him.

You set your packages down on the table and turn to open the door wide for John as he carries a tote full of groceries into the house. “Thanks, doll.”

The paper bag rips when you open it to pull take-out containers out, setting them on the table neatly. "John, can we talk?" You ask, glancing at him as he stows things in the fridge.

"Course, doll. What's on your mind?"

Nerves threaten to choke you, so you take a steadying breath, in and out, trying to quiet the sea of dread that pitches back and forth in your stomach. “You can’t just take what you want from me. Not if you’re serious about wanting this to be something. I’m afraid of you, John, and I’m not going to fight you. If you push me, I’ll fold, and I’ll hate you for it.”

He pauses, holding a box halfway lifted to the cupboard. It takes a moment before he moves again, setting the box on the shelf slowly. The silence is palpable in the room, settling across both of you like a thick blanket of snow. You fold the ripped takeout bag flat, nervous, the crinkle of heavy paper hardly breaking through the rush of blood in your ears, the panic that grips you by the throat. It’s as though the admission has given your body the chance to catch up with everything that’s happened in the last two days.

You’d been drugged and taken from your home, you’d been handed off to someone you didn’t know, with no clear indication if you’re free to leave or not, you’ve been picked up and manhandled and shot at.

Darkness flickers in the corners of your vision. All you can hear is the pounding of your own heart, the sick, dizzying drums of war, and high pitched ringing like a flat-lining hospital monitor, and screaming, and the rapid burst of machine gun fire. No. The screaming you hear is just in your head, the gunshots aren’t real, they can’t be. It’s not happening, it’s over, it’s been over for a decade, you’re safe.

Except you’re not safe.

Hands land on your shoulders. You lash out, fists striking something solid, knocking the hands away. You have to get away, you have to hide until it goes quiet again. Arms wrap around you in a tight hug, stilling your thrashing limbs and bringing you down to the floor gently.

“Doll! Dalisay, sweetheart, you’re alright, come back.” The voice has authority. You know that voice. It rumbles, shaking loose memory. “Come on, love, breathe slow. You’re okay.” You breathe in, warm spice and tobacco smoke, not burning petrol, not scorched flesh. You’re kneeling on the floor, and John is holding you tight, thighs bracketing yours.

The fight melts out of your limbs.

You’re not safe, but you’re not in danger either. John loosens his hold on you and cups your face, his worried face eclipsing all else. “Doll, where’d you go?” he asks. “What happened?”

“Panic attack,” you lie, because that’s easier to say than My parents were killed in a terrorist attack while we were visiting London ten years ago and sometimes I get so stressed out that I forget it’s not still happening. “I’m fine, I’m sorry.”

“That wasn’t a panic attack, doll. Worked with Simon long enough to recognize PTSD. You were somewhere else.”

It’s hard to imagine that Ghost is as fallible, as human as you are, but you suppose there’s no shortage of opportunities for even the the biggest, toughest military men to to wade hip deep in trauma. The worst day of your life would be just another mission for them. The worst day of their lives would probably kill you outright.

"Yeah, I guess it was," you admit haltingly. "Everything just caught up with me. I won't let it happen again."

He shakes his head. "Did I set it off? I need to know— I don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.”

"No, it's not like that. It’s just stress. It's been building since I got here."

"I guess that's what you meant in the truck, huh?"

You nod weakly. "I don't think I can explain it any better right now. But maybe tomorrow."

"Alright." John sighs, some of the tension in his shoulders releasing. " I don't want you to be afraid of me, doll."

"Then you're going to have to give me time, and space. I need to know what kind of man you are. And you should get to know who I am too.” There’s a wrinkle in his shirt, so you fixate on that rather than look right at him, smoothing it out with your fingers. “Let’s worry about becoming friends, for now. And then we can see if there’s something more.”

He doesn’t like that, you can tell by the way he pulls his hands back, reluctant to let go of you. But still, he nods, and smiles ruefully after a moment. “Guess I’m not as patient as I think I am. Too eager to get to the good part.”

You laugh lightly, the sound shaky from frayed nerves. “John, if we can be kind to each other, and come to an understanding, then it’s all the good part. You can’t build the things you want on foundations like this and hold it all together with sheer force of will.”

“You sure about that?" he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. "I’ve heard I’m pretty stubborn.”

Your eyes flick up to meet his. You still feel unsettled, your heart still pounding, your stomach still roiling with anxiety. The emotion in those blue eyes is something you can't identify, something fathomless that strikes you with a foreign kind of fear, the kind that's shot through with hope that you shouldn't feel.

“You don’t know me too well yet, John,” you say gently, “but so am I.”

Image Credits: Banner

Dividers: 1 - 2 - 3 by @/Cafekitsune

#Cave Writing #Retirement Party #John stop trying to make her feel at home you're confusing poor Doll #We learn new things about Doll this chapter!#She's been through it poor girl #John Price x Reader #John Price x OC #x reader #cod mw fanfiction #OC: Doll #as soon as I post these things I get nervous about it lmao

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denissepalacios21 · 7 months

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Melissa in a new cameo talking about her favorite scene with Katie on supergirl

Melissa filming Kara's reveal: “I don't think it was heartbreaking for us to shoot, because we kinda knew it was coming.

Katie filming Lena's reveal: “I'll get PTSD, if I watch it again. It was a very long, very emotional day.”

The video it’s from @/sapphozbenoist on twitter

#melissa benoist #katie mcgrath #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #kara zor el #supercorp #kara and lena #karlena #cameo #l corp #DEO

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rhoorl · 3 months

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Delta Landscaping | Ch 14: Sparks Fly Like the Fourth of July

Series Masterlist | Chapter 14 A03 Link

Word Count: 8.2k (sorry!)

Previously on As the Mule Falls: The Pikes moved into the neighborhood and immediate sparks flew between Benny and Vanessa. The boys got materials and supplies to work on Melissa’s backyard and the neighbors organized another party via their group chat.

In this Episode: Marcus and Victoria get their day off to a fun start. Frankie and Jo keep chatting. Cousin Joel and Sarah call Benny and Will. The neighbors meet up at David and Ty’s house for a party. Cue a montage: David in a red, white, and blue feather boa, Benny making Vanessa laugh, Will and Marcus conspiring, and a game of cornhole. We end with Will and Katie having a heart-to-heart. Have your bingo card ready for another PPCU Easter egg!

Chapter Warnings: Brief unprotected P in V (established couple), allusions to PTSD and complicated feelings around being a veteran, some angst, and Marcus Pike and Cousin Joel both need their own warnings. Feral David.

*Cue the theme music and roll opening credits*

“Babe, what’re doing?” Victoria whispered, peeking around the corner into the kitchen to find Marcus rifling through boxes in the dark.

“Hey, I…uh…I was trying to surprise you,” he turned with a sheepish grin, his white V-neck shirt riding up slightly as he set a box atop the counter.

She cocked her head to the side as she walked further into the kitchen, her arms finding her husband’s waist. “And what surprise would pull you out of bed at 5 in the morning, mi amor?”

“I was looking for the griddle…I wanted to surprise you all with pancakes.”

“Ay, mi vida, you are literally the sweetest,” she brought both of her hands up to cradle his face, pressing a kiss to his lips. “How about pancakes this weekend when we have more stuff unpacked? How’s that sound?” She rubbed up and down his back.

“Ok,” he pouted. “We need to get groceries, there’s nothing in the house.”

“Well, we have that party today. We should probably bring something, can’t show up empty-handed to our first neighborhood party,” she winked. “I’ll shoot Megan a text later to see what she thinks and then maybe Nessa and I will run out to Publix this morning. We’ll pick up some donuts or something for the kids for breakfast.”

“You always have it all figured out,” he moved his hands up from her hips to her mid-back and bent down for a kiss. “One thing though,” he said against her lips.

“What’s that?”

“Well,” he pulled back, a devilish look coming across his face as she brushed the errant curl off his forehead. “Nobody’s going to be up for at least another hour…and since I’m off pancake duty…” he smirked.

“Special Agent Pike. Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“We’ve already gotten the bedroom taken care of mi amor, how about the kitchen next?” He pushed her towards the dining room table, urging her to sit once her thighs grazed the edge.

“Marcus,” she giggled as he trailed open-mouth kisses down her jaw to her neck.

Experts at quickies thanks to having two small children, they moved in tandem as she pulled down his sweatpants and he pushed her oversized sleeping shirt up her thighs and pulled her underwear to the side. As he notched himself at her entrance, his mouth returned to hers, swallowing her moan as he started to ease himself in.

“You were ready for me baby,” he smiled against her lips, loving the sounds he pulled from her whenever he hit that spot.

“Fuck, Marcus…” she mewled as he kept a steady pace.

It didn’t take long before they both found their bliss and amidst soft giggles they cleaned themselves up and went back to their bedroom for round two.

Even though it had only been a day, Frankie and Jo kept in pretty consistent communication. From texts throughout the day to hours spent talking on the phone last night, they were both still giddy from their time together.

Her morning got started pretty early. Her company was a big sponsor of the Peachtree Road Race, an annual 10k in Atlanta held around Independence Day, so she had to be there to ensure everything looked up to standards. Although she grumbled when her alarm went off, she suddenly felt a lift when she saw a text from Frankie waiting for her.

Frankie: Good luck today!

Jo: Aw thanks! I can’t believe I got dragged to this.

Frankie: You're going to do great! Send me a picture of the medal when you're done.

Jo: I'm not running the race silly

Frankie: Well, you deserve one anyway

Jo: Well, I think deserve a pic of you in your swim trunks later Morales

Frankie: I'll see what I can do.

Frankie smiled at his phone as he tossed it onto the kitchen counter. He was still on cloud nine from the weekend and couldn't even feel the soreness of his muscles from yesterday's training session with Benny. He also almost forgot what day it was.

The Fourth of July brought up different emotions for the guys. None of them wanted the attention that came from being veterans, they mostly kept to themselves on a day like today. But the idea of being around the neighbors of Mule Fall Court brought some comfort to Frankie, especially since Jo couldn’t be there in person.

Although she wasn’t physically there, Frankie was excited about seeing her later on FaceTime for their virtual movie date. It was her idea to watch something together, figuring she could maybe help take his mind off things once the fireworks started. Her words from last night still floated through his mind, enveloping him in warmth.

“I want to be there for you the way you were there for me.”

“Hey man,” Benny walked in from his run to find Will leaning against the kitchen counter, staring off into space as he drank his coffee.

Will cleared his throat, shaking his head to try and rid himself of the anxiety that started to cloud his mind. “Hey…good run?”

“Yeah, yeah. All good. Listen, ah…I know we said we’d go over to David and Ty’s today, but if you’d rather do something else I’m down. We can…I dunno grab some beers and chill here. Or we can-”

“It’s all good Ben. It will probably be good for me, well for us, to …I dunno I guess it might do us some good to be around friends,” the corner of Will’s mouth perked up as he got a devilish look in his eye. “Besides, I need to see the girl who made little hearts float around your head,” he chuckled.

Benny’s ears turned red as he faced away from Will, walking to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He had no idea who may have given his brother the heads-up about Vanessa. Santi was the obvious first choice, but he had a feeling this was more of Frankie’s doing. His mind raced trying to figure out what to say, but relief washed over him when he heard Will’s phone buzz.

“Well look who it is! Hey there baby girl,” Will answered, beaming at the screen.

“Hi, Uncle Will. Happy Fourth of July!” Sarah waved a little American flag across the screen before wagging it in front of her father’s face of screen.

“Hey! Nothing for your favorite uncle?” Benny appeared behind Will, an arm around his brother’s neck as he winked at a giggling Sarah.

“Uncle Benny!” She squealed with the biggest smile on her face. “Daddy said you have a fight soon! You gonna win?”

“Of course sweetie pie,” Benny smiled back, putting on a brave face for his favorite girl. “Hey! You planned the shirt for this summer yet?”

For the past several years, Joel let Sarah design a special edition Miller Contracting shirt. It started one summer when she was playing with a new paint set and decided to get a bit creative with an old shirt of Joel's. Rather than get mad, Joel fed her artistic side and let her create a design. He then had the shirt replicated and ordered enough for his crew, Tommy, and his cousins and friends. Everyone looked forward to getting the “Sarah Special” each summer and wearing it proudly no matter the design or color.

“I'm thinkin’ like a bright teal? And the logo in white.”

“You goin’ easy on us this year baby girl?” Joel teased with a side-eye.

“Yeah, I was expecting you to bust about the big guns. Y’know I always get compliments on that neon pink one from last year when I wear it to the gym,” Benny added, his eyes twinkling as he saw Sarah crinkle her nose.

“That’s because you cut it all up…it’s barely a shirt,” Will winked as Benny rolled his eyes.

“Gotta give those followers what they want huh Bean?” Joel smirked, quickly changing the subject when he saw Sarah’s interest piqued. “So, ah, what’re you all up to today?” He put his arm around Sarah’s shoulder so she could rest her head on his chest.

“We ah…got a neighborhood party…gonna go over there for a bit, see how it is and then lay low once the fireworks start,” Will with a tight smile, not wanting to say too much in front of Sarah.

“Damn those neighbors of yours sure do love to throw a party.”

“Yeah well, we had some new ones move in yesterday and Benny seems pretty ah…interested from what it sounds like,” Will ruffled his little brother's hair as Benny slapped him across the stomach.

“Ah, gotta girl you like there Bean?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Ooo is she pretty Uncle Benny?” Sarah added which made Joel and Will both snort seeing Benny so embarrassed.

“Oh well, will you look at that…bad connection…we gotta go bye! Love you!” Benny switched off the phone as Will doubled over in laughter.

Although Benny didn't always love being the butt of a joke, if it got his brother to laugh on a day like today, then he'd gladly take the hit.

“Babe, where’s my cup?” David yelled from the kitchen as Ty filled some coolers with ice on the lanai.

“Which specific one are you referring to, sweetheart? You have 20,” Ty responded sarcastically. David’s Stanley cup collection had grown exponentially over the past year, to the point that their kitchen cabinets were starting to become overrun by the things.

“The red, white, and blue one, duh!” David huffed as he came outside. “I have no idea where it is.”

“We need to install like shelves or something so you can see them all. Maybe if you see the whole collection you’ll stop buying more,” his eyes widened with a tight smile.

“Oooo, what if we have one of the guys install it for us? Could be fun for the both of us,” David winked as Ty rolled his eyes. “C’mon, admit it, any of them with a toolbelt…nailing…and hammering…and…”

“Ok…get your shit together, Blanche,” Ty cut him off. “We have guests arriving soon and I need you to quench your thirst.” He walked back into the kitchen, opening a cabinet and finding the cup in question. “Here.” “What would I do without you?” David walked up, kissing Ty on the cheek.

“Where’s your swimsuit?” Victoria raised an eyebrow as her sister came downstairs in an oversized T-shirt, jean shorts, and flip-flops.

“I'm not wearing one,” Vanessa side-eyed her with her lips pressed in a line. She scooped up Mariella who was babbling “uppy uppy” at her.

Victoria sighed as she got her backpack together with some snacks and a change of clothes for the kids. “That person was an ass, Nessa, don’t pay them any attention.”

“Who was an ass? What happened?” Marcus asked, coming around the corner and tucking his sunglasses into the collar of his heather gray crew-neck t-shirt.

“Someone at the donut shop asked Nessa if she wa-”

“Hey! Stop, don’t,” Vanessa hissed, cutting her sister off. “Same old sh- I mean, stuff, Buck, you know,” she gave Marcus a pleading look, hoping he’d pick up on the fact that she wanted to change the subject.

He walked around the kitchen island over to her wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “Oh Vandy,” he kissed her forehead. “Don’t let some idiot ruin your day ok? We’re going to have fun,” he winked, seeing the slightest twinkle in her eye as she gave him a side hug.

“Francisco! Que allegria!” Lulu approached with open arms as Frankie and the boys walked into the party.

“We…I mean, she missed you so much, must be nice being the favorite huh?” David winked, shaking hands with the guys.

“Wow, I see how it is, chopped liver!” Benny sarcastically scoffed, as Lulu tsked and brought him in for a hug.

“Benny! How’s the training going? Lis says you have a fight soon?” Danny asked as he and Melissa walked up. All of the neighbors started to gather around the four newest additions to the party.

“Oh ah, yeah, going good. A few weeks to go.” Benny rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, I don’t have my rotation set in stone yet, but if I’m in town I’d love to come. I mean…if that’s cool with you. I haven't seen MMA in person in a couple of years and now I have someone to root for,” Danny smiled.

“Ooo yeah! A group outing! I’ve never been to a fight before! Sounds…fun,” David clapped his hands.

“You need a cheering section right, Benny?” Megan asked as she sipped her drink.

“We'll make you signs,” Katie added, her mind already thinking of a design.

“Oh ah, yeah, the more the merrier,” Benny chuckled, suddenly realizing that he’d opened up the door for the entire neighborhood to come to see him possibly get his ass kicked.

“It’s gonna be a big night, our cousin may come from Texas…Ben’s gonna have quite the supporter’s section,” Will put his arm around his brother, noticing Katie’s head snap at attention out of the corner of his eye.

“Are those the new neighbors?” Ty asked, looking past Benny and Will and toward the family who just walked in.

“Oh yes, the Pike’s! You’ll love them, they're super nice,” Melissa gushed, waving wildly and grabbing Victoria’s attention.

Will side-eyed his brother and felt his back straighten. “So, ah, which one is your girl,” he whispered, as Frankie and Santiago snorted at Benny’s sudden change in demeanor.

“Shhh, she’s not my girl,” Benny looked down wishing he could shrink down to the size of an ant and scurry away.

“Purple hair,” Santiago muttered out of the corner of his mouth as he took a sip of the beer Frankie handed him.

“She’s pretty, Ben.” Seeing his brother so flustered was quite amusing to Will. “You gonna talk to her or…”

“I know how to talk to a girl,” Benny replied, a bit petulantly which made Will and Santiago stifle some laughs.

“Hey, hey, let him go at his own pace…I got faith in ya Benny,” Frankie winked, feeling a sense of accomplishment as he managed to get a small smile out of Benny.

“Hey, our movers! Great to see you guys again,” Marcus chuckled as he shook hands with the guys, stopping and introducing himself to Will.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Will, Benny’s brother. Seems like I got out of the impromptu moving duties yesterday huh?”

“You did, all good though, these guys were pretty efficient. Oh ah, Will, this is my wife Victoria and our kids Nico and Mariella,” Will smiled, shaking Victoria’s hand and managing to get a high five from each of the kids. “And this is Vanessa, Vic’s sister.”

“Hi Will, nice to meet you,” Vanessa felt a little intimidated by Will initially, but his sweet, genuine smile put her at ease.

“Vanessa. Nice to meet you. Cool hair,” he gestured up with his chin.

“Oh ah, thanks,” she played with the ends. I uh dyed it myself,” she looked down at her feet, shy that a handsome man complimented her.

“You didn’t tell us that yesterday!” Santiago chimed in. “So you a hairdresser or something?”

“Oh ah no, not professionally. I’ve always kinda dabbled with it.” She bit her lower lip, eyes flitting over to catch Benny softly smiling at her.

“She cuts my hair,” Marcus jumped in. “Haven’t gotten any complaints,” he winked at Victoria who rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a smirk.

“You know, I could probably use a haircut soon,” Frankie took off his cap and ran his fingers through his hair.

“NO!” David yelled from across the lanai, everyone stopping to look at him. Ty lowered his chin and looked at his partner from over the top of his sunglasses. “I um…sorry, Ty grabbed the wrong cups. Babe, remember, we need to go grab the ones from inside,” his eyes widened as he backed away and scurried into the house.

“Ignore him, it’s been a while since we hosted anything,” Ty laughed it off, walking into the house after David.

Frankie chuckled and put his hat back on his head. “Benny, you were talking about getting a haircut soon weren’t you?” Benny swallowed hard and nodded. “Said it’s getting in his eyes. We need to make sure you can see those punches comin’ atcha Benjamin,” he shadowboxed towards Benny, who playfully batted away his hands.

“Oh, are you a fighter or something?” Victoria asked, moving Mariella to rest on her other hip.

“Oh ah no, not professionally. I’ve always kinda dabbled with it,” he caught Vanessa’s eyes and laughed to himself seeing her smile. “I do it from time to time. Have a big one coming up in a few weeks.”

“Well, I don’t want to impose if you already have something established, but I’m an athletic trainer. Happy to help if you need anything,” Victoria smiled.

“Athletic trainer, huh? You working for one of the pro teams in town?” Santiago chimed in.

“Oh ah, no, well, I used but now I work for a high school. Torrey Hills Prep. You all know it?” Victoria looked around at the group.

“That’s where my son goes! He plays basketball,” Megan perked up. “He’s around here somewhere,” she looked around, spotting Connor and Aria sitting together on a lounger. “Ah, he's busy,” she shook her head as everyone laughed.

“No way, that’s actually one of my sports this year! Our friend Ben is the coach and when he knew Marcus and I were trying to move back down here he put in a good word for me and here we are!” Vanessa replied.

“Well look at that, what a small world,” Megan smiled. “Coach Ben is great, everyone loves him.”

“We do too,” Victoria looked quickly at Vanessa and then back to the group. “He’s like a brother to us.”

Everyone turned when they heard a glass clinking, seeing David donned in a red, white, and blue feather boa and silver sequined cowboy hat. “Ok, looks like everyone’s here. Let’s fire up the grill and have some fun!”

Benny watched as Melissa ushered Vanessa and Victoria over to meet Olivia and her kids who were playing on a slip-and-slide David and Ty set up in the backyard.

“There a reason you haven’t turned on that Miller charm yet?” Frankie narrowed his eyes as he took a sip.

“I dunno man,” Benny rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s probably going to think I’m just some dumb jock or something.”

Frankie chewed the inside of his cheek, observing Benny’s body language, shoulders hunched over and eyes downcast. Sometimes Frankie forgot just how low Benny got during his last relationship and the subsequent aftermath. It pained him to see how little his friend thought of himself, not missing the irony that when given a mirror his friends would say the same about him.

“Well, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, Ben. From my observations, I think she’d be…ah…receptive to you talking to her. Seems like a sweet girl. C’mon, see where it goes…have fun hermano,” Frankie put his arm around Benny’s shoulder and gave him a shake.

“Thanks, Fish,” Benny smiled.

“You doing ok?” Victoria leaned over to Vanessa as they watched the kids playing.

“Yeah…you?”

“Yeah. Everyone seems really nice.” Victoria got closer to his sister, lowering her voice to a whisper. “You should go over and talk to Benny.”

Vanessa looked over her shoulder to see Benny in deep conversation with Frankie. She could feel her sister's eyes on her as she turned back around. “What Vic?” she cocked her head to the side.

“Oh nothing,” she let out a breathy giggle. “It’s just…cute.” Vanessa furrowed her brows, waiting for her sister to continue. “What? Now I know how you felt all of those years ago trying to get me to talk to Marcus,” she teased.

“So, is this like a big day for you guys or one you'd rather just get past?” Ty asked Will as they both observed the spread of food laid out in front of them.

“Ah, one I'd rather get past I guess, don't love all the attention,” Will gave a tight smile.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,”

“Naw it's all good man. It's kinda nice to be here and just hanging out. We appreciate getting just a regular invite and not having everyone look at us like “guests of honor” you know?”

“I hear you, I hear you. And hey, of course, we'd invite you…you're part of the family now,” Ty smiled, patting Will on the back before he walked away.

Vanessa watched with a soft smile as the kids played. Mariella made friends with Olivia’s little girl Diana and the boys were all chasing after Connor. She was so wrapped up in their ruckus that she didn’t hear the incoming footsteps.

“Are you…um…having fun?”

Vanessa heard a deep Southern drawl behind her, turning around to see Benny leaning forward. His eyebrows were scrunched up and his bright blue eyes searched hers like he wanted to say more.

“Oh…ah, yeah…yes. Are you?” Vanessa bit her lip, wincing internally at how awkward she must be acting.

Benny nodded. “Yeah. Beautiful….day, it’s a beautiful day,” he smiled quickly shifting his weight from foot to foot. “You…ah…you going swimming later?”

“N-no,” Vanessa shook her head. “I didn’t bring my suit,” she swallowed hard and turned her attention back to the kids.

“You didn’t wear a swimsuit to a pool party?”

“Still unpacking,” Vanessa shrugged, hoping to get off the subject. The thought of getting herself into a swimsuit was hard enough, she couldn’t even fathom doing it in front of a guy like Benny, who practically looked like a male model in his simple black swim trunks and cut-off Army shirt.

Benny opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he felt something brush against his knees. He looked down and saw Mariella looking up at him with her big brown eyes, arms reaching up to the sky. “I…uh…” Benny’s eyes widened, panicked at what to do.

Vanessa laughed and bent down, “Ven aquí chiquitita,” she cooed. “She’s at a stage where she wants to be held all the time. Mari, you remember Benny? Say hi,” she gave an encouraging smile to her niece.

“Bunny,” Mariella responded matter-of-factly.

“No, mamita, his name is Benny…Ben-ny. Now you try? Ben-ny.”

Mariella shook her head up and down and assumptively said, “Bunny.”

“Well, your name is Bunny now. The queen has spoken,” Vanessa laughed, feeling her cheeks get warm as she saw a big smile come across Benny’s face.

“Well, who am I to deny a pretty girl,” he scrunched his nose up and booped Mariella on the nose. “Besides, I've been called a lot worse.”

Frankie felt that familiar buzz in his pocket that made his heart race. Quickly unlocking his phone he was greeted by a selfie of Jo, looking tired but as beautiful as ever.

Jo: Finally done. I need a shower and a nap.

Frankie: Wish I was there to help

Jo: You can later 😉

Jo: How's the party? You and the guys doing ok?

Frankie: Yeah all good so far. Everyone’s been cool, it’s almost like I forgot what day it is.

Frankie: Plus I’m trying to help Benny talk to a girl

Jo: The pilot being a wingman…nice

Frankie: Trying.

Jo: I don't want to keep you, but I'm glad it's going well. Call me later.

Frankie: I will. Enjoy your shower 😏

Marcus walked up to the cooler to grab a couple of drinks when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He turned around and saw Will who also was also on the hunt for a refill. The men exchanged pleasantries before drawing their attention to Vanessa and Benny who stood at the perimeter of the play area, observing all of the kids. She had her hand up to her mouth laughing as Benny animatedly told a story.

“Uh oh,” Will chuckled.

Marcus arched an eyebrow, “what’s wrong?”

Will smirked, “Oh no, it’s just…pretty eyes, a nice smile, and laughs at his jokes…that’s the trifecta for my brother.”

Marcus let out a breath and softly laughed. “I have to say…she’s smiled more in the last day than I’ve seen in the last few months,” Marcus tilted his head, observing Vanessa cracking up.

“Well, I haven’t seen Benny this nervous around a girl since we were in high school,” he shook his head, smiling to himself as the memories flooded back. Marcus looked a bit confused so Will continued, “Our cousin dared him to talk to one of the seniors and ask her out….joke was on him though because the girl found Ben’s…goofiness…to be pretty charming. Ended up getting a date out of it.”

Benny glanced over in their direction. Years of reconnaissance made him acutely aware of when he was the one being watched. Realizing they were caught, Marcus and Will coughed and turned to face each other.

“So…ah…you and Vanessa…you all close?”

Marcus glanced over fondly in her direction, “Yeah…she and I have always had this like unspoken connection. She means a lot to me…I love her very much,” he looked back at Will.

“Look, I know this probably doesn’t mean much because he’s my brother and I obviously love the kid….but Benny’s a good guy.”

Marcus nodded, taking what Will said to heart. “So…I think we may both be on the same page here then?” Will nodded, so Marcus continued. “Vandy is probably going to kill me for saying this, but she’s not going to make a move. She's afraid of getting hurt…her ex,” Marcus shook his head, “he really messed her up.”

Will took a deep breath, “same for Ben. The kid hasn't always had the best luck.”

“Well, maybe we can partner up,” Marcus winked conspiratorially. “Seems like they're both interested right?”

“Ohh yeah,” Will chuckled. “Benny's interested alright.”

“Hey Will,” Connor walked up to get a bottle of water from the cooler.

“Hey man, what's up.”

“Santi and I are getting corn hole set up, think you and Benny want to play?”

“Actually,” Will smirked, looking over at Marcus whose mouth was slowly curling into a smile. “Think you could find a partner?”

“I think I know just the person,” Marcus chuckled.

“Alright, c'mon let's go. Connor, you wanna help?”

“Ah, sure…with what?” He looked between both men confused.

“It's for Benny,” Will motioned over to his brother and Vanessa with his eyes.

“Oh.” It was as if a switch suddenly turned on for Connor. “Ohhh. Yeah ok! Tell me what I need to do.”

“Wait, backward? I don't even understand how that would work?” Vanessa giggled.

“I get a strike every time. I'll have to show you,” Benny puffed his chest out a bit, feeling more at ease as he and Vanessa talked and got to know each other.

He learned that the catalyst for her to pack up and move back to Tampa from Charlotte was two-fold: she recently lost her job and her mother wasn’t doing well. That coupled with the fact that Victoria and Marcus offered her a place to stay in exchange for some babysitting solidified the decision to move back “home”.

As they talked, Benny grew more and more infatuated. Her laugh was music to his ears. She listened enthusiastically like she was genuinely interested in what he had to say. She was smart and really funny. And she was beautiful, he couldn’t help but admire that.

“Hey Benny! Hi, you're…Vanessa, right?” Connor appeared next to Benny, flipping his hat around backward.

“Yeah, that's right. Good memory,” Vanessa regarded the boy with an amused look.

“You having fun C?” Benny brought the boy in for a side hug.

“Yeah, it's been a good time. Hey, actually. We're getting a cornhole tournament set up. Will said you're like a five-time Texas state champ or something?’

“Five?” Benny scoffed, feigning offense. “Where you come up with five Will?” Benny called over to his brother who shrugged as he walked up with Marcus. “I’m a five-time Texas Cornhole League champ, but don't forget about my Delta Force Cornhole Tournament wins. But, my most prized trophy is from the Oak Hill Elementary School Family Field Day,” he winked at Vanessa. “My niece…Sarah. She and I kicked ass and took names that year.”

“She finally had it with her and her old man losing every year, so she brought in a ringer,” Will added.

“It was one of my prouder moments as an uncle, I have to admit.”

Vanessa could tell this little girl meant a lot to Benny with the way his eyes softened when he talked about her. She made a point to remember her name and to ask him later which of his cousins was her father. He mentioned a Joel and a Tommy already during their conversation but she didn’t catch which one of them had a daughter.

“Well, I myself may have won a tournament or two at an FBI family picnic over the years,” Marcus chimed in.

“You did? With who?” Vanessa scrunched up her face.

“Before I met you and your lovely sister my dear. They wanted us to mingle with different agencies, so I got paired up with this guy from the DEA. He didn't want to be there and was chain-smoking the whole time. But, he and I made a good team and once we started winning he changed his tune. Even shared some of the whiskey he snuck in.”

“I have literally never heard that story before,” Victoria came up and wrapped an arm around her husband's waist. “All this time I've been married to a cornhole champ and didn't even know it,” she smiled as Marcus leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Vanessa playfully rolled her eyes at them and returned her focus to Benny. “So you still got it then?”

The corner of Benny's mouth turned up, “oh I still got it darlin’.”

“Let’s play then!” Connor clapped his hands.

“With partners, it's more fun that way. Vandy you're with me hermanita,” Marcus wrapped his arm around Vanessa's shoulder.

“Ah, o-ok, um…sure,” she played with her hair, a nervous tick.

“So, Vanessa and Marcus against Benny and Will then?” Victoria asked, purposefully not looking in her sister's direction.

“No darlin’, two Millers is too much,” Will winked, noticing the way Vanessa's cheeks flushed. “Connor, you wanna take my place.”

“Sure! Yeah, is that ok Benny?”

“Hell yeah, we got this bud,” Benny clapped his hand onto the boy’s shoulder.

“We playing for anything or just bragging rights?” Connor asked the group.

“Hmm…what a great question,” Marcus replied a bit too smoothly and Vanessa suddenly realized what was happening. “Let's see. Well, Will was telling me how you boys have been doing some landscaping around the neighborhood. And I know my beautiful wife would love nothing more than to make some…adjustments…to our lawn. What do you say Vandy? We play to get your sister some upgrades?”

“That's a lot to ask of them over a silly little game, Buck,” Vanessa scrunched up her face. “Can't they just like…I dunno buy us a pizza as like a housewarming gift?”

“No, we don't mind. Besides, bet whatever you want, it's not like you're going to win anyway,” Will quickly chimed in. His playful trash talk made Benny cock his head to the side, surprised to see his brother so animated. “So speaking as the team representative, if they win, we want you,” he pointed to Vanessa, “to give Benny a haircut.” Will wrapped his arm around Benny’s neck, as Benny looked down sheepishly.

Vanessa eyes narrowed. “That hardly seems fair. Connor doesn’t get anything?”

“Oh I don't need anything,” the boy threw his hands up.

“Ok, well even so, hours of landscaping versus a 10-minute haircut seems like quite a lopsided bet.” Vanessa countered, missing the coy smiles Marcus and Victoria exchanged.

“Very true. You make a good point,” Will continued with the negotiations. “Well, then…do something for me then and…take my brother out. I could use a night of peace and quiet,” he winked.

Benny scratched the top of his hat. “W-what? N-no, you don't have to do tha-”

“Deal.” Vanessa extended her hand to Will who shook it.

Everyone was in a bit of shock at the exchange, but no one more so than Vanessa herself. She chewed the inside of her cheek and avoided looking in Benny’s direction as she quickly turned around and walked over to the cornhole board.

“Where'd that come from?” Victoria whispered.

“I dunno. Fuck, it was too much right? Ugh that was dumb wasn't it?”

“Are you kidding me? No, that was perfect. Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”

Next to them, Marcus snickered, trying to hold back a smug smile.

Vanessa playfully smacked him on the arm. “You. Ugh I played right into your hand didn't I?”

“You always do. Besides, I'm doing you both a favor. Neither of you were going to make a move so I'm helping…speed up the process.”

“Ok so I love you Nessa and I want you and Benny to go on a date but I would also really love to get that godawful flower bed sorted out and a tree removed. So, please try and win,” Victoria winked.

“Great pep talk babe, you sure do know how to inspire,” Marcus kissed the top of her head and softly smacked her ass as she ran to stop Mariella from running headfirst into a bush.

Will seemed quite pleased with himself as he, Benny, and Connor walked over to their side.

“You fucker,” Benny tilted his head back, shaking his head.

“Come on Bean, it was right there. If the shoe was on the other foot you woulda done the same thing.”

Benny rolled his eyes, annoyed that Will was right, and also touched that his brother was playing wingman.

“Hey uh, Benny, listen I haven’t played cornhole in a while so…”

“All good, bud, I got this. Especially since I know what’s on the line.”

Will didn’t miss the way Benny’s eyes twinkled.

Frankie tucked his phone back into his pocket as Santiago came up, burger in hand.

“These are really good, Ty’s giving you a run for your money when it comes to the grill.”

Frankie snorted, a lopsided grin making his dimple more prominent. “You’re just angling for me to cook something this weekend, I know your type.”

With a raised eyebrow Santiago continued, “You gonna even be here this weekend? By the sounds of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d be packing up and hauling your ass to Atlanta for a few months.”

“No…” he shook his head as he thought through his response. “At least not this weekend. She’s got some stuff going on. What?” He scrunched his face as Santiago started laughing to himself.

“Nothing…just…it’s good to see you happy Fish,” he pushed up his sunglasses.

“Well, what about you? What d’you have going on these days?”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know I’ve been… consistent.”

“For how long?” Frankie chuckled.

“Ok, it’s been a week…but it’s with an old…friend.” Santiago quickly took a bite.

“How old of a friend we talkin’ about Pope?” Frankie narrowed his eyes.

Santiago purposefully slowed down his chewing, a bit nervous about Frankie’s reaction. When he finally swallowed he took a deep breath and faced his friend. “It’s Amaryllis, ok?”

Frankie’s eyes widened, “Lil?”

“Yeah? Is that surprising?”

“I mean…kinda. When’s the last time you guys hooked up? Before you took off to Colombia. You lookin’ to get more of your shit thrown out on a lawn?” Frankie snorted and dodged a slap from Santiago.

“It’s not like that, things are different now.”

“Ok…whatever you say, Pope.”

“So what’s going on here?” Santiago asked, eager to change the subject. He motioned to the cornhole game in front of them. Benny and Connor kept high-fiving as Vanessa groaned at Marcus who sent another bag flying well past the board.

“I dunno but Benny seems pretty proud of himself though,” Frankie observed.

“It’s really unfair you know? The guy hasn’t played cornhole in years and look at him. Throwing a four-bagger like it’s nothing,” Santiago shook his head as another of Benny’s bags went through the hole untouched.

“You’re still bitter he never wanted to be your partner when we played on the base,” Frankie chuckled.

“Ok, C, you make this one and we win. No pressure,” Benny winked as he handed Connor the last bag.

“We’re ahead by a lot Benny, as long as I just get it on the board we win,” Connor fidgeted with the bag in his hand. He definitely held his own in the game, but Benny could have played on his own he was that good.

“Don’t just get it on the board, bud. You got this. C’mon the board is clear for you, go on for an air mail.”

“Got any tips?”

“Nah, I’m not sharing the secret sauce,” Benny grinned as he patted Connor on the back. “And I don’t wanna put any pressure on you but you’ve got a little audience.”

Connor turned around to see his mom, Katie, and Aria all huddled together watching. With a tight smile and a small wave, he took a deep breath to focus. He held his breath as he released the bag. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as he watched the bag fly across the 20-some-odd feet to the other board.

“Holy shit, you drained that!” Benny whooped, picking Connor up. “Way to go!”

Connor was proud to play a hand in their winning, which clearly made Benny happy. Will came over and gave him a high five.

“Hey,” Benny pulled Connor close for a hug, “I owe you man. Thanks.”

“Aw damn, we lost,” Marcus threw his hands in the air, going through the motions despite being giddy as all hell.

“I feel like you missed some of those on purpose, Mr. I won at the FBI picnics,” Vanessa narrowed her eyes.

Marcus gingerly rotated his arm in a circle, putting on the theatrics as he rubbed his shoulder. “I’m getting older Vandy, didn’t have enough time to stretch.”

“Don’t worry, Papi, I’ll take care of that later,” Victoria rubbed up and down his back with a coy smile.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and snorted as Nico made an exaggerated retching sound at the sight of his parents kissing.

“Well, go claim your prize,” Marcus could barely get the words out before he dodged a playful slap on the arm from both Vanessa and Victoria.

Vanessa took a deep breath and smoothed her shirt as she walked over to the victorious and jovial trio on the other side of the lawn. “Good game,” she put her hand up, getting high fives from them all.

“Hey I’m gonna go get something to drink, Connor wanna come with me?” Will asked.

“Oh ah…yeah…sure, yup, feeling real parched!” Connor’s tight-lipped smile and awkward delivery made the others laugh.

“He’s sweet,” Vanessa’s eyes followed as he walked away.

“Good kid, sensitive. Had some really shitty stuff happen to him. He’s actually become a friend, which is kinda weird to say because he’s like 16 and I’m old enough to be his dad, but…”

“I think that’s really sweet, Benny.” Vanessa’s eyes softened but quickly narrowed as he gave her an offended look. “What?”

“Who is this Benny? I thought my name was Bunny,” he raised his hands.

“Ah, true, true. My sincere apologies,” she responded sarcastically. “However can I repay you?”

“Well, looks like you have a bet to pay up. So, where we going?” He rubbed his hands together.

“Hmm…” she crossed her arms in front of her, tapping an index finger to her lips, which Benny tried with all his might to not focus on for fear that he’d embarrass himself. “Well, you were talking such a big game about being able to bowl backward, I want to see that.”

“I don’t just bowl backward, sweetheart. I get strikes,” he winked.

“Hey, you ok?” Katie had kept a close eye on Will throughout the party. Even though he had mostly been in a relaxed mood, she sensed a bit of tension in his shoulders as the early evening set in.

“Hmm? Y-yeah, I’m good.” His lips formed a tight line and he knew she could see right through it.

“Will,” she put her hand on his forearm, “do you want to get out of here? If this is starting to be a lot we can head out. Hey, I can finally get you to watch The Mandalorian with me,” she offered an encouraging smile.

His tight smile melted into a more genuine one, “You sure Kat? I don’t wanna take you away from the fun. I can just head home and watch a game or something.”

“It’s whatever you want, if you want to be alone I totally get it. But if you want company, I’m there.”

Will looked at her kind eyes and started to feel calmer. “Ok. Think David is going to be offended we’re leaving early?” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Nah, he’s got so many people here and is in host mode, we can sneak out,” she winked. “Do you need to tell Benny or anyone that you’re leaving?”

“Uh, yeah I should probably tell Ben so he doesn’t make it weird…” Will chuckled as Katie looked to the ground with a smirk.

“So what did you think?” Katie looked over as the credits rolled after the first episode.

When they started the show, they were on opposite ends of Katie’s couch, sitting straight up. But as the show went on, Katie decided to lay down sideways, curling up underneath a blanket as Will stole glances out of the corner of his eye. When it was done, she sat up, facing him.

“Not bad, Kat. I liked it,” he turned his head towards her, the corner of his mouth curling up.

“See, I told you!” She playfully slapped his arm. “I wouldn’t steer you the wrong way.”

“No, I don’t think you would,” he turned his body towards her, a knee propped up on the couch. His eyes searched hers, stealing a glance down at her mouth which didn’t go unnoticed as her tongue swiped along her bottom lip.

It was hard to tell who moved first, but Will brought his hand up to cup her cheek as their lips delicately pressed together. Their lips stayed locked for a beat, each one waiting for the other’s move. Katie teased his bottom lip with her tongue and Will opened his mouth, recognizing the faint aftertaste of black cherry seltzer on her tongue. But as quickly as they started, they both pulled away with scrunched-up faces.

“Uh…that was…” Katie chuckled, shaking her head.

“It was weird right? Like it was good, obviously, but like … kinda …weird?” Will rubbed the back of his head, realizing that his mouth moved before his brain.

“Yeah, it…look, Will, I really like you. I think you’re an awesome guy and…fuck…,” she winced a little as he started to fidget. “I just…I see you as more of a…”

“A friend?” He clenched his jaw, giving her a tight smile.

She nodded, unable to say the words for fear that she’d hurt his feelings. But when his eyes started to crinkle and his smile relaxed she pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed.

“I was thinking the same thing.” He saw her visibly relax, both of them nervously laughing now that some of the tension was easing. “You’re amazing, Kat. You know that right? But, I don’t know…recently, I’ve started to see you as someone I can…trust. You know? Fuck,” he shook his head. “I don’t really do this,” he motioned between the two of them.

“Talk about your feelings?”

“Yeah. It was a big reason why Jelly left…” he trailed off.

“Jelly?”

“Oh sorry, Angelica, my ex. She uh…well, I just never really knew how to process shit you know? Like Benny had fighting, he’d go and get the shit beat of out ‘em and while it didn’t make the pain go away he still numbed it you know? Pope would go out and pick up whoever he could at the bar, figuring he’d bury his pain in a…” he looked up, “never mind, you know what I mean,” he laughed. “And Fish…he had his own demons…” Will pulled his brows together, his forefinger pushing the cuticle on his thumb back.

“What about you?” Katie leaned forward, resting her elbow on the back of the couch.

“I just…kept it bottled up. She’d try and get me to open up but I just…couldn’t,” he closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head from side to side as if trying to delete a memory from his head. “And then one day there I was in the damn cereal aisle of a Publix, my arm around some guy’s throat. I wasn’t there I…” he took a deep breath, relaxing a bit when Katie rubbed his arm. “I was squeezing so hard, I blacked out…Jelly had to basically climb up my back to get me to stop. She scratched the shit out of me. I’ll never forget the way she was screaming at me, telling me to stop,” he swiped his hand across his lips.

“I’m here, it’s ok,” Katie soothed him, rubbing circles along his forearm with her thumb.

“Anyway, I’ll spare you the details, but that was the beginning of the end. But looking back it had been coming for a while. I couldn’t be what she wanted, I wasn’t the same person anymore. And we were growing apart. She had goals and plans and I just…I wasn’t there. I wasn’t at the same place. And I guess bottling that shit up kind of just came to a head.”

“What happened?”

“She left. Well, not right away. She tried…she tried to get me to go talk to someone, but I just wasn’t ready yet. You’d think nearly killing someone at a fuckin’ grocery store would do that,” he chuckled to himself. “It was a bad time for all of us if I’m honest. Everyone was in a shit spiral. I ended up flying home, just to get away from it all. Felt like a loser staying with my parents for a couple of months, but I just needed distance. Then one night drinking beers on Joel’s patio it all kind of clicked. I didn’t want to be like that anymore…I don’t know, I can’t explain it. But the next day, I made an appointment to talk with someone and now fast-forward a few years and I’m the one giving speeches,” the corner of his mouth curled up.

He told Katie about how he started volunteering and working with other veterans, helping others who were enduring the aftereffects of war and battle. If there was one thing Will was proud of, it was the way he paid it forward, helping others the way others helped him – when he finally let them. It was never anything he touted or wanted attention for. He quietly dedicated his time to volunteering and doing a host of other activities that the rest of the guys probably didn’t even realize he was doing.

“I think that’s amazing, Will, you should be so proud of yourself. I am.” Katie squeezed his arm.

“Sorry for unloading that all on you Kat,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “This day always makes me feel weird, I guess I never really talk about it. I feel I don’t deserve any of the attention this day brings you know? Like people will come up to us and thank us and say all of this stuff and they mean well…it’s just hard to reconcile all of the shit we’ve seen and had to do,” he let out a long sigh. “So all of that plus the fact that I don’t like loud sounds, is why today kind of sucks,” he laughed, his bright blue eyes looking up to find hers. “But today has kinda sucked less…and you’re a big part of that, so thank you.”

Katie was taken aback and her eyes started to tear up. “Oh Will, that’s sweet. You’re a good man. I hope you can see that. I’m happy I was here. I’ll be here anytime, ok?” He nodded. “Can I give you a hug?”

“C’mere,” he smiled, opening his arms as she reached her hands around him, nuzzling into his neck. They stayed in a tight embrace but Katie could feel the tension melting off of him. He pulled back, grabbing her hand, “thank you.”

Next Time on As the Mule Falls: Benny and Vanessa go to the bowling alley. Frankie and Jo try and figure out the next time they’ll see each other. The boys finish Melissa’s backyard. (There will be some time jumps we need to get to Benny’s fight night!).

A/N: Hi! Sorry it took me so long for an update! Aside from life getting a bit crazy, I also decided to focus and finish another series I had been working on. So, for now, this is my only WIP. There’s some really fun stuff ahead and I can’t wait to hear what you think!

Thank you as always for reading, sharing, or sending me a message about this story!

Taglist: @goodwithcheese / @gemmahale / @trulybetty / @noxturnalpascal / @periodtsparadox / @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin / @maggiemayhemnj / @mysterious-moonstruck-musings / @avastrasposts / @meveispunk / @chaoticfestninja / @beboldbebravethings / @casa-boiardi / @katw474 / @linzels-blog / @laughing-in-th3-purple-rain / @pimosworld / @lynnchun / @anoverwhelmingdin /@lilmizmoz / @pedrit0-pascalit0 / @titlee78 / @noisynightmarepoetry / @inept-the-magnificent / @perennialdoll247 / @for-a-longlongtime / @readingiskeepingmegoing / @harriedandharrassed / @musings-of-a-rose / @anavatazes / @sherala007 / @midnightraain / @partyofone3413 / @inthedarkestnight / @millennial-teenybopper / @csarab615 / @darkheartgatita / @southernbe / @weho2kcmo / @itspdameronthings / @mclibs23

#triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #garrett hedlund fanfiction #triple frontier fic #frankie morales #frankie friday #benny miller #william miller #santiago garcia #marcus pike

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godshivered · 2 years

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in your opinion/hc how would ptsd!melissa handle being triggered at work?

ok sorry for getting to this so late - i've been thinking about this and...

melissa schemmenti will go above and beyond to hide a flashback or panic attack. comfort feels a lot like pity to her; accommodations are embarrassing. even with people she trusts (like barbara), she tries very hard not to let her symptoms show -- especially since barbara will be sweet, and that'll make melissa cry, and melissa doesn't want to worry any of her kids or spark any whispers among her coworkers. her first reaction is to internalize/dissociate during a flashback at work, to keep it all in her head.

(of course, melissa's emotions are all over her face so she can only hide it so well. she'll usually come off a bit more irritable or jumpy -- she gets into arguments more easily -- she has a bit less patience for rowdy students, but she never takes it out on them. she'll usually shift her class schedule, introduce some quiet time or craft activities. worst case scenario, she lets ashley work her magic and distract the classroom while she excuses herself.)

if she has some free time between classes, or during lunch, she'll find a quiet place to catch up on grading. this gives her something to focus on, some busywork where she can curl up in a comforting posture and slow her mind. if you were to look over her shoulder (which she doesn't let anyone do; she'd shut her book and glare up at you until you walk past) you'd probably find anxious scribbly sketches or chicken-scratch to-do lists in the margins. she breaks a pencil or two when it's bad -- she gets a tense hand, applies a bit too much pressure.

if she doesn't have free time and has to excuse herself, there's a few places she'll go. it's easiest (and most deniable) to slip into the restroom and climb up on the back of a toilet -- tie her hair up off her sticky neck and tuck her head between her legs, because she gets dizzy and sick when it gets bad. she'll wait out the cold sweats, the ear-ringing, until she feels she's taken too long and freshens herself up in the mirror.

if it gets really bad, she'll step outside -- sometimes out by the garden barbara and jacob are working on, sometimes just anywhere. just so long as she can hear the traffic noise, feel the wind against her skin, brace against the biting cold or the stirring heat. extremes help to ground her. plus, if she's really alone and out of sight, she can shake out her hands or slam her fists back against the brick wall or cry, and no one will see.

best case scenario, if barbara isn't in the middle of class, melissa will step into the kindergarten classroom -- barbara has given her permission to use her coveted class restroom. melissa will lock the door and turn off the light and turn on the humming bathroom fan, and no one can hear her labored breathing -- no one will know where to find her. she can cry her mascara into her knees and shred a paper towel into a thousand tiny pieces, and there's this spot between the sink and the wall where she can cram herself tight and it feels like her childhood closet and it presses her chest just tight enough to break the balloon of tension -- and she can breathe. if barbara walks into her classroom and the bathroom door is shut, she says nothing -- just sits at her desk and busies herself with paperwork, until melissa walks out and offers a weak smile of gratitude.

(sometimes, she'll talk to barbara about it. it's easier to talk about it once she's gotten the tears out -- once she remembers how to be herself and not a scared little shadow she doesn't recognize in the mirror. sometimes, they'll talk about anything else, and melissa will lean against barbara's desk and barbara will look at her with the usual regard, respect, like nothing happened. sometimes, melissa will ask if they can grab dinner, and barbara will drop everything to go get comfort food with her. that's the absolute best case scenario, for both of them.)

#ok theres my ptsd bullshit for the week thank you for tolerating me!#melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary #melissa x barbara #work wives #barbara x melissa #ptsd!melissa #anon ask

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lokisprettygirl · 11 months

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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 29 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 30

Summary :The supposed last day at the tower goes eventful as a plan goes awry and in order to make you feel better Loki shows you his jotun side.

Warning: 18+, Smutty jotun Smut, Long chapter, almost 6k words, HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up),sex, mention of stalking, mention of psychological torture, mention of physical and sexual assault, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, soft precious bean loki, polite bean Loki, Dalia, Melissa

(gif will make sense at the end)

"Hey you, follow me" Natasha said to you sternly so you looked at Loki and he looked away to not raise suspicions, you were already standing too close to him as it was. You followed her immediately to not piss her off or anything,

"Why were you talking to him?" She asked you as you tried to match her walking pace.

"Ummm Loki?" You asked her just to be sure and she glared at you,

"Who else was there with you?"

"Uhhh no one..well i was just curious about why his fiance was leaving so abruptly"

"What did he say?" She asked inquisitively and you gulped.

"He said that she's no longer his fiance and that he's not in love with her" she stopped, turned her head to look at you for a few seconds before she started to walk again. Hmm Black widow was a gossip girl, you were surprised by the knowledge

She took you to a space that looked like a locker room with bunch of lockers and you watched her walk towards one of them to key open one of them and then she took out a ziplock bag, it had your phone as well as your personal documents like your passport and keys etc that had been confiscated when you had came here.

"Steve said you can leave if you want but he'd rather have you stay and meet him tomorrow" your heart stopped momentarily as she started to speak because you didn't want to leave just yet.

"Ummm I'd stay to see him tomorrow" you told her so she shrugged, giving her an awkward smile you then proceeded to turn around to walk out but then she spoke again.

"Do you like him?" She questioned you nonchalantly as she went through the belongings in some other box she had picked from some other locker.

"What? Who?" You turned again to look at her but she was not looking at you.

"Dalia..Tony's PR agent, she is auditioning women for a fake public relationship for Loki. Nick wants him to join the team and Loki seems enthusiastic and wants to redeem himself so he will have to go under rigorous training. Dalia thinks having a partner that is from earth will have a positive impact amongst the people of earth" she looked at you as she finished her sentence and you gulped in nervousness.

"Isn't it deceiving? Fooling the people of earth with a fake relationship and getting them invested in it?" She smiled as you said that

"That's just how it has to be sometimes, who knows.. the couple may become real eventually, want to throw your name in the hat?" She asked you so you pretended to think about it. Ofcourse you wanted to throw your name in the hat.

"She won't pick me…I'm just …me" you chuckled nervously and she looked at you from top to bottom before she went back to messing with the belongings of God knows what person.

"It is not up to her, Loki agreed to this under one condition that he'd get to choose the lady of his choice..and i have noticed how you look at him"

"When is the audition?" You asked her to end the topic because she was starting to make you more and more nervous.

"In an hour.. a few of Tony's friends are coming" she airquoted the term friends and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, Tony's friends usually meant supermodels. Supermodel like Melissa.

"Ok I'll give it a try" she nodded as you said that and you turned to leave before she'd say something else.

You had to find Loki and tell him about this but he was in a meeting with Dalia and her team, an hour later you put on the same black dress you had worn at the party, did your makeup and went for this supposed audition, you noticed like ten other women in the hallway and then you saw Melissa there, of course she was there, you tried to not kill her right on the spot and decided to ignore her, surely Loki won't pick her right?

All of them looked like angels and then there was you, standing out like a sore thumb, you used to dance in school and college so you had given dance auditions before but you had no idea what was this even about?

One by one several women went in and immediately came out but none of them were leaving because they were told to stick around until the end.

The woman sitting next to you, her name was Rita, she was new in NYC and has been to one of Tony's lavish parties or two, she was 5'9 brunette and she wanted to work in movies eventually. Girls like her always fueled your insecurities because they always seemed as if they knew what they wanted and they knew how to get it, meanwhile you were thirty and had no idea what you were doing in life, you were floating aimlessly before you had found Loki, at least your love life seemed to be on a better track as compared to before.

"Aren't you too old to be here?" You heard Melisaa's voice so you looked at her, you didn't look thirty , that was one of the things you liked about yourself, you never seemed your age since as a child, always a few years younger so it was infuriating that she was picking on that.

"Aren't you too vapid to be here?" You heard Rita answering so you looked at her and smiled, she gave you a smile in return

"Besides he's like thousands years old" you mumbled nonchalantly and Melissa groaned before she went back to fixing her makeup.

Unlike other girls Rita didn't seem too obsessed with herself and she clearly didn't appreciate such remarks and stood up for you when she didn't have to.

"Is he really a thousand years old?" She asked you.

"More than that"

"How do you know that"

"Oh I read about him" she smiled as you said that

"Oh i didn't prepare at all, i should have come prepared" she chuckled nervously and now you felt bad for her. She didn't even know what she was getting into.

"Well he's Loki, he likes the color green more than anything, he's got all these magical powers that are beyond this world and i have heard from someone around here that he doesn't like those who are shallow from deep within so you're good to go" you said to her so she smiled before she got up and hugged you, so you told her good luck when it was her turn to go in, her audition or whatever it was lasted longer than other girls and you were the last one to go in.

As you entered Loki's eyes widened and you could tell he was nervous, he did notice your scent when the last girl Rita had walked in but he thought he was overthinking. What were you doing? You shouldn't be here at all.

"Ahhh y/n..sit down " You nodded as Dalia said that, she and her assistant were behind this desk, there was a chair farther away from where they were sitting, you could feel Loki's eyes on you and you didn't know if he was upset or happy with this step you had taken. You had no idea what you were doing here.

"I think as far as I know Loki has picked already who he wants but now that you're here we will give this a try y/n" Dalia let out an exasperated sigh so you looked at Loki and he gave you a look as if asking what the hell you were doing.

"Yeahh what do I have to do?" You asked Dalia and she looked at the woman sitting next to her then she asked you to stand up so you did

"Too short" she mumbled in her mouth and wrote down something on her notepad. He was almost a foot taller than you so she wasn't wrong but she didn't have to rub it in your face.

He then stood up and walked towards you and stood next to you. He had his black Asgardian ensemble on, you had seen the fit before and the color suited him so well. If you had no idea who he was or didn't know him as well as you did you would have been nervous as hell right now just standing in his presence.

"Smile and pretend to be in love" Dalia said to you, Loki wrapped his arm around your waist so you looked to the side and he leaned into you .

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked you and he sort of seemed upset by your presence here. Wait, Why was he upset?

"I thought you'd want me here" you mumbled while they clicked pictures after pictures, those pictures were going to be super ugly, you never looked good in motion.

"I don't" he whispered softly, he wasn't trying to be rude or hurt you but your eyes teared up anyways. You suddenly felt out of your element, the one person you thought would appreciate your presence here had just said to you that he didn't even want you there.

"Well there's chemistry for sure but her looks are ..just not it" Dalia said so Loki glared at her intensely.

"Her looks are perfect so how about you shut your mouth and move to the next process?" He said to her and she looked down, clearly embarrassed.

"I am sorry" he whispered in your ear before he kissed your cheek briefly and stepped away to go back to his seat. You were asked to leave after that so you did just that, unlike other girls you weren't asked to stay back. After a few minutes, Loki, Dalia and her assistant came out of the room and into the hallway.

"Thank you all for coming, but only one girl can win the opportunity to take part in this project and Loki will announce the name of the girl he has chosen" She announced so you crossed your arms as you waited for him to speak, his eyes met with yours and he quickly looked away as soon as he announced the name..

He picked Rita, the woman sitting next to you, he didn't pick you, he picked Rita. Rita was so happy, she was practically jumping in joy as if she had bagged the role of a lifetime, she turned to you so you snapped out of your thoughts and hugged her to congratulate her, then she got up and walked towards Loki and she asked him if she could hug him so he smiled and gave her a side hug. You allowed the hurt to sink in and as other girls were leaving, cursing Rita and what not, you followed them as well.

Why didn't he pick you? You made it so easy for him so why didn't he pick you? Your heart beat sped and you felt the panic increasing so you quickly took the elevator to your floor and almost ran to your room.

Loki knew he had hurt you with this decision but he was never going to pick you for this, he wished you had talked to him about this before you decided to join this stupid insulting audition. He wanted to go talk to you immediately but he had to attend the couple training session with Rita,

"So how did you know so much about me?" He asked her to break the ice and she smiled, she seemed okay, she wasn't anything like Melissa in the least but he wasn't going to walk this path all over again.

"Actually I knew nothing about you, the girl I was sitting with, y/n , she told me, bless her, she was so nice" he smiled as Rita said that, of course you did, you must have felt so nervous of everyone around you, he knew you well enough to know that but that didn't stop you from being kind to her.

"Lady Rita I need you to do me a favor"

After that humiliating ordeal you had returned to your room, showered and changed into a tshirt and shorts, and then you stood there in utter disbelief as you tried to wrap your head around what had just happened. You were brushing your hair when Loki appeared out of nowhere.

"I know you are upset with me–" he spoke immediately but you cut him off,

"How could you not pick me Loki?" You glared at him so he walked towards you, the black Asgardian fit made him look deadly but you weren't going to get distracted by his beauty, you were officially having your first fight with him right now.

"I pick you every day–" you cut him off again because the smile on his face was infuriating..

"I made a complete fool of myself out there Lo"

"You shouldn't have"

"Yeah I fucking shouldn't have" you raised your voice and you saw his jaw clenching, he stepped closer to you and grabbed your chin between his fingers before he made you look at him.

"Do not fucking swear at me darling"

He cupped your cheeks between his palms and kissed you softly to calm you down and it sort of worked as your chest stopped huffing and puffing with anger, he understood your plight and what you were feeling at the moment, he would have felt the same if he was in your place.

"I can't do this publically, I can't let those mortals know that you are my everything when half of them are out for my neck" you looked into his eyes, the fear was evident, you finally grasped why he wasn't keen on picking you as his fake partner, he was protecting you from the people out there who were going to harm him and the people he loved.

"Ohhhhh"

"Yes. Ohhh" you breathing calmed down slowly and you took a step away from him.

"What about Rita? Isn't she going to be in danger?" You asked him

"She will be in danger, that is why I have asked her to quit, made her realize that this job wouldn't be worth losing her life" he told you so you nodded. He did the right thing, he absolutely did but you still felt awful about the whole thing and you weren't able to just switch off the way you felt.

"What about Dalia?"

"Told you I would put my foot down this time, I do not need a partner to win the hearts of the people of Midgard, I need to redeem myself and repent for the hurt that i have caused them and I will do it on my own" you looked down and nodded as he said that.

"I wouldn't have looked good with you anyways" you turned around to go to bed but he immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you into his chest.

"What did you say darling?"

"Nothing..I just don't feel good right now, can you leave?"

"No I won't leave when you're feeling this way, especially when I'm responsible for it"

"You're not responsible for my insecurities Loki " you wiped your tears as you sniffled and his heart clenched. You put yourself out there and he wasn't there to support you, he couldn't have told everyone what you meant to him but and he knew you understood his side but it must have hurt regardless.

"I am sorry I wasn't there to hold your hand when you needed me to" his eyes welled up as well and it made you cry even harder "You have no clue how much I appreciate you being here for me, since the very first day, you know what you mean to me don't you?" He mumbled softly as his thumbs wiped your tears,

"But I'm not good enough"

"Who says that hmm?"

"Frigga did, Dalia says the same, and people will say the same thing when they find out about us, if they ever will" you sniffled again like a child and his heart broke at the sight, he knew the pain of not being able to feel enough in your own skin and he knew there was no other way to make you feel better then doing what he had in mind.

He took a step back from you and morphed into his jotun form slowly, the clothes he had on crumpled on the floor leaving him all naked and suddenly his temperature lowered down to the point where you could feel the icy cold air around you, you opened your eyes and you had to crane your neck up to even look at him now.

His Ruby eyes were staring back at you, you had never been this close to him in his natural form before so it took a bit of adjustment but seeing him like that only made you feel smaller, not in a bad way though this time. He was not a human or an Asgardian, he was a pure Frost Giant and you didn't think you had allowed yourself to fully register that fact before this moment.

Giants were the part of of conspiracy theories and folklore but you had one standing in front of you now, your eyes trailed down and the sight of his huge cock made you feel bashful so you looked up again and walked closer to him, he didn't flinch away when you traced your fingers on the marks over his chest but his breath hitched at the contact.

"Did I hurt you?" You asked him softly,

"No that feels good" his voice had gotten even deeper in this form, his teeth were sharper as well and you knew they very well held the strength to rip you in shreds if he wanted to do that.

"What do you think those mortals will say when they find out about our affair? A pretty little mortal like you allowing herself to be ruined by a monster that looks like me? What do you think they will think of us then?" He said firmly, you were more than willing to be annihilated by him but he was no monster.

"You're not a monster Loki, you're my baby" you looked up at him as your hands caressed up, he couldn't find a hint of lie in your words, he knew you loved him wholeheartedly but you weren't the only one feeling insecure in this relationship, a part of him always feared you won't enjoy touching him in this form but he could smell the desire radiating from you, the way you looked at him made him feel good , even if for a moment you made him want to remember who he was born to be.

Your lips could barely reach below his sternum so you pressed a soft kiss on the steel blue skin and your hands moved up slowly until you had your fingers curled around his neck, he let out a small animalistic growl as your fingers caressed the raised ridges that were covering every inch of his skin.

"You see me and touch me as if I'm worthy of your touch, as if I'm worthy of your affection or have earned the right to put my filthy hands on you" he murmured so you placed your thumb on his lips.

"You are worthy, you're worthy of every little affection i could offer you lo" you whimpered as his words pierced your heart, you never wanted to him to feel this way and it hurt to hear him talk like this, it must have hurt him the same to hear you deprecate yourself like this.

"I am not, these hands of mine--?" He wrapped one of his large hand round your throat, they were so big that his fingers almost met each other at the nape of your neck, you gasped at the sudden feeling "These hands have hurt people and killed them, they carry the blood of those innocent souls but nothing matters to you hmm? You love me so deeply and I love you my darling"

You mouthed the words i love you but no sound came out, you felt hypnotized by his gaze and his complete self.

"I truly wish I could have announced to all of the realms that you, you my precious princess were all mine and that I am blessed to have you but I can't, I can't put you in harms way my darling, but I need you to know that I am yours in every fucking way a man could be taken and owned by a woman"

"I know lo.. I know I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you placed your hands on his and he immediately let go of your throat, he wasn't hurting you, not even close, he was barely holding you so you wrapped them around your throat again, he took a deep breath at the sight of your small frame cowering against him.

Sometimes he couldn't believe you even allowed him to touch you let alone permit him to do anything he wanted to do with you.

"You don't see it do you?" You whispered softly but a moan escaped your lips as his thumb brushed over your lips.

"See what?"

"How magnificent you are in every way Loki?" You looked up at him as you got out of his hold and walked closer to him until you were squished against his large frame. Your fingers trailed up from the back of his hands to his forearms and then they caressed his strong biceps before you moved towards those defined shoulders, your thumbs rubbed over his clavicle bone in a back and forth manner.

You wanted to study every inch of his skin, learn what made him tick and squirm in this form, he really enjoyed when those ridges were being touched, he had them all over his skin, even his cock, you bit on your lips at the sight of his hard on, there's no way he'd ever fit inside you right? You didn't think he would.

You got on your tiptoes as your arms wrapped around his neck but you still couldn't reach him so you could kiss him, a smile curved the corner of his mouth as he watched your futile attempt to leap at him. He quickly placed his palms under your hips so you jumped into his arms and he pressed you against the nearest wall, his lips latched onto yours in an instant, he tasted different somehow, so cold but so sweet, as your tongue slipped into his mouth you felt those sharp teeths and understood the damage they could cause to a fragile mortal like you but you knew he'd never hurt you.

Not unless you'd ask him to do so..

Just being in his giant godly arms, being pressed against his body so intimately while he kissed you passionately was enough to make you drip in your panties. This felt like a surreal dream and you never wanted to wake up.

Your fingers caressed over his scalp and he moaned into your mouth as you rubbed those thick ridges of his skull. His lips latched onto your neck as you ran your fingers over his head

"Sensitive?" You mumbled in his ears so he nodded.

"Do you like touching me like this?" He asked you and all you wanted to do was wrap him in a fluffy blanket and show him how much you enjoyed this side of him.

"I could do this forever lo, can I touch your cock?" He almost whimpered as you said that and grabbed one of your hands to place it on his cock, you had never seen anything like that, not even in your dreams, he was the size of your forearms and the sight made you blush.

He moaned as you worked him up and down slowly, he looked different and felt different but you felt the same with him, you got the same feelings, you just knew you'd recognise his soul no matter how many forms or shapes he will morph into.

He was your loki, your sweet precious baby.

"Do Frost Giants mate with humans?" He took your shirt off as you questioned him, no he wasn't going to fuck you, he was pretty sure you won't be able to handle him like this but he wanted to do a little something to please you both, he wanted to touch you like this, have his cold rough skin rub against yours, he wanted to make you feel good because you were making him feel heavenly.

"Mmmm I don't know darling but we will figure it out" he put you down on the floor and his fingers hooked around the waistband of your shorts as well as the underwear, he pulled them down at once so you stepped out of them as they rolled around your ankles.

The size difference was throwing him off and everytime he focused on it he only got more aroused. Your hands clutched onto his shoulders as he rubbed your wet lips back and forth, his thumb played with your clit simultaneously, your head rolled back against the wall as he worked his magic. His touch was so cold, every hair on your body stood up as he his fingers played with your cunt.

"You're so small my darling, you have no clue of my self resistance and what it's taking for me to not devour you this very moment" you heard him whisper but you could only moan in response, you wanted to feel that finger slip inside you but he had other plans, he switched positions with you so he was against the wall, then he turned you around and then bent down a little as he placed his cock between your thighs, you gasped as you felt his length rubbing against your wet dripping cunt.

"Goddd lokiii" you moaned as he humped his hips back and forth, your thighs were tightly shut together to aid his movement but aside from that you had to do nothing, you just had to stand there like a rag doll and take the mind numbing pleasure he was offering you. He put aside your hair and you felt his lips on your neck, he grabbed the skin between his teeth and nipped on it slightly as he continued to hump against you.

"Is this okay my love?" He questioned innocently as if he wasn't destroying you with every thrust of his hips, he was ruining you completely and he wasn't even inside you in his natural form just yet. The animalistic urge to be fucked by him was strong but you knew you won't be able to take him all the way in.

"Please don't stop lo ..oh god please..keep going..yeahh ..just like that" you mumbled incoherently so he turned you towards him and then continued to do the same thing, every time his cock rubbed against your clit the pleasure built more and more and you knew you won't be able to hold it in for long.

Back and forth he kept moving until your mind and body both were a wrecked mess in his arms.

As you came, your body convulsed with the intense release, he had one of his arms tightly wrapped around you while he held your throat with the other one to keep your head stable, sure he had made you cum plenty of times before but making you lose your mind when he looked like that felt cathartic to him. You wanted to touch him, you wanted to fuck him like this and the thought was enough for this moment. This was his first sexual experience in his natural heritage and he couldn't have been more blessed that it was with you.

Once you calmed down you didn't waste a second but grabbed his cock in both of your fists and began to fondle him, the groans and moans he was emitting sounded heavenly, the definite growl that escaped his throat when he finally came made you realize again that he wasn't human at all and that he belonged to some other species altogether and you were doing filthy things with him, it felt forbidden in a way and maybe this was the reason you never fell for an ordinary man, you were supposed to find him all along.

He came all over you as he exploded there wasn't a inch of your breasts that wasn't covered in his cum,

"You're so cold Loki" he braced himself against the wall behind as he watched you rub your cum with his fingers, his eyes transfixed on the movement of your fingers. How could you be this way and then ever doubt that you didn't belong by his side forever?

You just made love with a monster like him but he was the one ruined forever.

"So Sweet..like cantaloupe" his eyes widened as you licked your fingers clean and before he could say anything you grabbed his arm and started to walk towards the bathroom, he couldn't help but watch your arse jiggling with every step.

After the shower you made him sit down on the couch and then not to entice him again you put on a underwear and the black tunic that he had dropped when he had morphed into his precious self, then you sat on top of him, you wanted to be filthy with him again, ofcourse you did but you had to adore him in a non sexual manner, you needed him to know how much you loved this side of him.

"Hiii" he chuckled as you said that,

"Should I change myself?" You shook your head as he said that.

"Can you stay like this just a little longer?" You mumbled against his mouth as you kissed him softly. When you pulled away his eyes were teary and then your big burly man proceeded to place his head down on your chest. Your fingers curled around his nape and a few moments later he looked up again,

"Do you miss my hair?" He asked you so you smiled at him.

"Noo, not really, i like this change baby" he placed his head back down on your chest and allowed you to caress him and love on him as much as you wanted.

He must have thought you were trying to comfort him but the truth was you weren't able to stop touching him and his beautiful skin, he seemed so ethereal you never wanted to look away from him. He looked so strong and intimidating but in your arms he was just your pretty baby and you wanted to protect him from his own cruel mindset he had regarding his heritage and the prejudices he held against himself.

"What were we fighting about?" He chuckled as you asked him that.

"Mmm I am sorry i made you feel that way princess, I would never do that on purpose"

"I know lo..I just lose my mind when I see other women around you"

He wrapped his arm around you so you sat on him in a fetal position and rested your head on his chest, your fingers linked with his and you noticed those permanent darkened nails.

"I might have to leave tomorrow lo, Steve is coming back with Bucky" you said to him and he was immediately concerned, he didn't want you to leave and he needed you to stay right here, by his side, he knew he had to come up with something especially now that he knew that you were willing to risk everything to stick by his side.

You didn't remember falling asleep on him but you woke up the next morning itself, he wasn't there with you but had left a note.

"My beautiful girl, I love you, now and forever, never forget to remember that"

He must have returned to his room, you looked at the time and it was 8 am already so you quickly got ready, Captain was supposed to be back by now.

As you stepped out of the room you immediately bumped into Captain America himself and he seemed happy for a change,

"Y/n"

"Captain..how's uhh.. where's your friend" you asked him as you rubbed your arms together in nervousness.

"He is in the medical room, thank you y/n, you have no idea what you have done for me" you smiled a little as he said that. You kind of felt bad, you didn't come here to help him with his friend, you came here for yourself "Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked you so you shook your head and then his phone started ringing so he gave you a look before he walked away.

Maybe you should have told him that you wanted to stay but why would they allow you to stay here for no reason? You really wanted to go see Loki but he wasn't in the living room or the dining area, you were about to go back to your room but then you saw a woman approaching you and then she was taking you through the same hallway you had been to yesterday for the audition.

When you entered the room you saw Loki, Dalia and her assistant again. What were they up to now?

"Sit down y/n" Dalia said without even glancing your way, the chair was placed right in front of the desk this time so you sat down.

"Have you ever done this job before?" You looked at Loki as she said that. What job?

"Doesn't matter, that's enough of a waste of my valuable time here, appoint her, I'd rather have her follow me then a complete stranger" you looked at him confused as he spoke to Dalia.

"You know her?" She asked him confused so he glared at her.

"She has been living here for almost a week now, we met her yesterday, do you not remember that?" He asked her sternly and you saw her sweating abruptly.

"Okay but we have to ask her if she–" Dalia said to him and he turned away from her and took a complete turn in his chair to ignore her. His behavior amused you because he was always polite with everyone but knowing Dalia and the way she worked he was probably just done with her.

"Go ahead Dalia, ask her, I am not your boss or your supervisor here if I remember correctly" he said to her and you got more confused, what was happening? She sighed before she turned her attention back at you,

"Now y/n if you choose to accept this job opportunity your work here would be to assist Mister Loki here with his- as he states personal needs, the job would require you to relocate here and live here so there's no delay whenever Loki is in need of you. You'd also help him accommodate with midgardians rules and customs so he understands this world better and is able to improve himself with the knowledge, is that clear to you?" You looked at her shocked as she finished, your eyes met with Loki and he was smirking but when you said nothing he was starting to panic. He made all these plans because he wanted you to stay here, he forgot to ask if you wanted to do so, you were lying to your mom all this time and he wasn't sure if you wanted to continue doing that.

"Ummm I already have a job in Minneapolis… I understand the requirement of the job, i will be his assistant right?" She nodded as you said that "Okay ummm can we discuss the salary please?"

Now you would have done it for free, ofcourse, but turns out you did need money to survive and to be able to afford basic things in life.

"Sure, here's the number as of now, your caliber at this position and if slash whether Mr Loki is satisfied with your work then we will reflect upon any future raises, promotion etc" you looked at the number on the slip and your eyes widened, this paid more than any job you have ever had in your life.

You pretended to act casual and looked back at her, trying to appear as confident as you could before you spoke. The smile alone on his face was worth the step you were going to take,

"Well moving here temporarily or otherwise would be a hassle but I think I'll do it.. I'll take the job"

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Taglist

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @greep215 @yallgotkik @tactac286 @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @sunnixart @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan @rosecentury @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @hrefna-the-raven @jennyggggrrr

@cosniffee

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #jotun loki smut #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

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brooooswriting · 2 years

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Master list + request guide line

Guide line

Master list isn’t always up to date

Natasha Romanoff

Daddy

Girls

Too late

It’s you?

Lake (kinda part two to it’s you)

Not so easy

You would never

You know how to ride?

Worth it

Cheater

Relationship?!

Coach

Scars

You’re homeeeee

Childish

Only you

Take my love

Break

Welcome to the family

Super super soldier

Reasons

Wanda Maximoff

Flirt

I fucked up

Oh darling

Kate Bishop

Group dates

Bestie

Scarlett Johansson

Set

I’m sorry

Tell me you won’t leave

Hailee Steinfeld

More than benefits

Wanda X Natasha X reader

Poor Y/N

Wednesday Addams

A plushy?!

All the other pretty girls

Jenna Ortega x reader

Situations 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Truth or lie?

Kiss

Stunt

Funny story

Long time ago

Should have told ya

See you again

Tara carpenter x reader

PTSD, anxiety

Trust

Stray dog

Own world

Wreck

Motherfucker

Vada Cavell x reader

Where were you?

Sam Carpenter x reader

Poisoned

Five fucking years

Just a little whipped

Whyyy?

You for real?

Oh honey

Melissa Barrera x reader

Yo shorty

Anxiety

I need you

Bartender and murderer

Margot Robbie

You so small

Leighton murray

My idiot

I meant to

I’m here for you

Tutors to lovers

Oh I know

You’re better than me

Softie

646 notes · View notes

bronx-bomber87 · 6 months

Text

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) This is a very emotional episode for Lucy. Melissa’s acting in this one is outstanding. All I want to do most of this episode is hug her. And tie Chris to the back of a truck and just drive…Our lovely couple are apart in this episode but it’s such a good one. I have a lot of Chris rage in this one so prepare yourself haha Let’s get started.

4x17 Coding

We start off with Tamara making Lucy breakfast. I love her natural instinct to take care of Lucy in these moments. Just like Lucy did and still does for her. I adore their dynamic so very much. Tamara is protective when they talk about today. She doesn't understand why Lucy has to do this. Noting Rosalind is already serving four life sentences. She doesn’t like that the DA is making her dredge up painful memories just to slap on more charges. Lucy tells her it’s important to make sure she’s charged as an accessory to Caleb’s crimes. That Rosalind needs to be held accountable for that.

Most of her victims didn't make it...She is one of the lucky ones and doesn't want to waste that. Can see a strong sense of justice brewing deep in her soul as she explains this. I love how strong she is being for Tamara. Showing her what a bad ass she is. Modeling that for her. Tamara still has worry in her eyes and says she’s coming with. That she will have snacks and puppy videos at the ready. Be her emotional support human. Since her normal emotional support isn’t with her today. Love them.

Speaking of Lucy's ESH he’s at the hospital with Nolan. His car crash victim was a a rough one. I can’t watch the cold open for this one ever. I did it once and I bawled my eyes out. I can’t do stuff with kids after becoming an auntie. Her being sad the popsicles were gonna melt for her kid. That her husband would be mad about the car.

Makes me think of my niece, nephew and my sister. I just can’t handle it. But kudos to the writers for evoking that out of me. Glad John was there in her final moments but it was rough to watch. Tim comes up to him and notices Nolan is still in shock about it. Gah I would be too. I still can’t handle rewatching it let alone living it.

Tim is so wonderful and gives John some good perspective about it. That yeah it was rough and tragic no doubt about it. But that girl is going to get a new heart because of it. Tells him to try and focus on the silver lining of it all. Love this man. His empathy has grown leaps and bounds since we first met him. Was always there Lucy just needed to get it out of retirement when they met.

Lucy and Tamara arrive at the DA's office and we can see Lucy tense up. Just being in the office is setting her off already. She tells Tamara she’s going to the bathroom. She is so sweet and asks if she needs her come with? Lucy tells her no she handle that solo. We watch Lucy escape into a stairwell. Poor thing is in an absolute panic. Rubbing her DOD tattoo trying so hard to ground herself. I’ve been there where something just triggers your PTSD.

All you need is to find somewhere to expel all that energy surging through you. Because she is having an intense fight or flight moment. She is desperately trying to ground herself. Breaks my heart because I love her. Also because I’ve been her. I know this feeling she is experiencing. Nothing worse than getting engulfed in that sort of emotion. It's like the walls are closing in on you. It's what creates that flight instinct and you just need to get out just to breathe.

To be able to function at all. You can feel the panic rising in your throat and you’re drowning in it. Poor thing is getting flashes of what happened to her. It's taking her right back there. We watch her take a deep breath trying to reset her body. She clearly doesn’t want Tamara to see her like this. Ugh. This is just fuel for my hate fire later when I wanna bitch slap the clown. My heart hurts for her in this ep. It really does.

Tim is still at the hospital with Nolan. He continues his sweetness with John. Saying if he needs to see a counselor he can. Won’t be any charge to him. Look at our sweet empathetic Tim. I love it so much my heart is gonna burst. Their chat is interrupted by the hospital shutting down.

They find out quickly the man before them is ransoming the hospital to get his wife the heart. Wanting to steal it from that young girl for his wife instead. Threatens that he’ll shut down their entire network if they don’t do so. Tim looks pissed as hell. Which is kinda sexy tbh. They’re at his mercy it would seem...

Lopez comes charging in clearly ready for a fight. Asking for a status update on everything. They have the husband and wife separated atm. Her husband is being held in a conference room with an officer. Angela wants Tim to take a run at Jonah and sends Nolan to crack the wife. Hoping either the IT dept. will crack the hold on the network or they guys will get one of the spouses to fold.

Nolan is a swing and a miss with the wife. So we cut to Tim and Jonah. Tim looking particularly fine as he questions the husband. Has his hard stance going on trying to get this guy to crack. Telling him to dial back the threats that if he scales back now it won’t be as bad.

It’s here we see a man with nothing to lose. We watch Tim soften a little bit. It's when he says his wife is his entire life. Tim can relate to that and it shows as he’s listening. Doesn't last long though. He goes back into cop mode when Jonah starts threatening again. Saying soon enough something else will start with a new phase. It’s here we see a complete lock out of the system for the staff. Phase 2 has started.

We rejoin Lucy at the DA’s office. Chris has to take over since her normal person is out sick. He tried to reschedule but Lucy pushes against this. Saying they’re professionals and she can do this. I think she just wants it done and over with tbh. I hate how he questions her though. With this smug authority I cannot stand.

The more he pokes at the wound the more we see Lucy get agitated. Like a cornered animal being poked and prodded. Ready to lunge and attack at the slightest provocation. He is questioning everything about Caleb being connected to Rosalind. We watch her go back into fight or flight mode. As she examines the pictures and gets more flashes of her time in that horrible barrel.

Love her snapping at Chris when he says he’s just ‘Wants her to be ready.’ Schmuck.... He has this semi smile the entire time and I just wanna clean his clock so badly. He is beyond insensitive about this entire thing. Not reading her body language whatsoever. Seeing how tightly wound she is. I wish Tim could be there for her. He would be a much better rock for her. I hate Chris and this episode just ramps that right up.

Then comes the moment I was to punt Chris down the stairs. Like skipping a rock across the water. See how many flights I can get him to fall down with just my rage. He starts singing her barrel song like the dumbass he is. Showing the clueless SOB he truly is. Melissa crushes this scene though. The shaky way she delivers her lines. How she backs up every time Chris tries to approach her. Needing as much distance as she can get in that room.

The way she snapped at him earlier should've been evidence enough. The writing on the wall was there. He just needed to be extra sensitive. What does he do? Sing that song. It’s the way he says ‘Yeah it’s evidence.’ All cavalier. No clown it’s visual proof of the worst and most traumatic moment of her life. It is far more than just evidence you stupid schmuck. That was her death song. She thought it was over and she sang that as a way to comfort herself. It’s a deeply intimate and emotional thing for her. He’s treating it like it’s just part of the case.

We can see how the thought of him watching it is wrecking her. He keeps trying to close the gap and she keeps widening it. He is pushing her physical boundaries when she is screaming for him to stay away. Being the clueless oaf he is Chris continues to try. Saying he’s sorry, he’s in the DA office, blah blah blah. Meaningless words to her in this moment. Her saying ‘Yeah you said that already…’ She is disassociating in this moment. Trying to distance herself from him. Because he has wounded her and she needs time to regroup.

I hate that stupid semi smile on his face still. He’s truly not understanding what she needs in this moment. Makes my blood boil. Further proof he's not the guy for her. Tim can read every emotion. Know exactly what she needs. Then there is this putz. Shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as her at this point. Lucy has to practically beg him to give her a moment alone. Shaking and absolutely wrecked emotionally. I hate this so very much for her. She is in serious distress right now.

He's so selfish all he can thinking about is absolving his involvement. Not reading her emotional state whatsoever. Trying to push past her boundaries. She finally makes him go away. He storms off like a child. I'm shaking at how mad I am rewatching this. Especially with carrying PTSD myself. One of my trauma triggers is my physical boundaries being pushed. He had no damn right to impose himself on her like that. Chris has already proven he’s not the guy for her. This was the nail in his coffin IMO for that. What an absolute clown this man is….Melissa killing me softly with this scene.

We return to Tim and Nolan at the hospital. Someone has died due to Phase 2. So the hospital gives into his demands. Let’s his wife get the heart. I love how Tim wants to clean this guy's clock. Telling him to lose the attitude. Gah if he only knew what was going on at the DA’s office. His rage would be ten times what it is right now. Jonah restores the lights but only for the OR. Tells them he wants to be there for his wife’s surgery. To make sure they’re really doing it. This guy is something else. Tim re-cuffs him and they head to the OR together.

Lucy finds Chris and he jumps up and apologizes again. She cuts him off not having time for his BS. This isn't about you bub. She asks for him to get her the video. That he’s seen it and half the lawyers in this bidding have. But she hasn’t. Chris tells her it’s incredibly hard to watch. Lucy doesn’t care and tells him she needs to see it. My girl I just wanna hug her. Also I’m so damn proud of her for standing up for what she wants.

Chris having no leg to stand on agrees to show it to her. He has the gall to ask if he should stay? Obviously not you friggin stunad…Got me so angry I’m calling him an idiot in Italian. He really doesn’t get it. It’s ridiculous. After how she reacted earlier. How she's been this entire time you’d think she was going to say yes? The last thing she needs is your stupid ass there. She thanks him for the video. He doesn’t deserve that,

All he deserves is a swift kick to the nads. So he doesn't reproduce little clueless offspring….Whoever set up these shots did a good job btw. They are so well done. She’s psyching herself up to press play. The shot of her with her ring. We see it visible on her hand. The ring that saved her life. The ring Tim found and held onto until she was ready to have it back. Trying to ground herself before watching this. The way her hand shakes before she hits play gets me all in the feels.

Melissa continues to crush this scene. Watching her watch that video makes me wanna cry. It’s so hard to watch her witness the worst moment of her life. Once again another beautiful shot of Melissa above. The way she closes her eyes as she listens to herself sing, the way she touches her lips in an anxious manner, the ring close to her as she continues to listen. Having the object that saved her close to her as she watches. Like a safety blanket as she takes in the video.

You can see her whole body trembling as she tries to get through it. Hurts my damn heart to watch unfold. Serious props to Melissa for conveying so damn much in this short scene. Lucy trying to prove to herself she is strong by watching this. By going through with this whole thing at all. Trying to push down all the emotions eating away at her. Last ep all I did was laugh. This one all it does is hurt my heart. Hurt for her. It's so good though.

We return to the hospital. They’re wheeling Jonah’s wife back. Tim is super stern with him and I’m here for it. You tell him babe. Directs him not to mess with the surgeons or how they do their job. Is that understood? Jonah goes on to say how he never would since it’s saving his wife. The saddest part is next. The father of the daughter they’re stealing heart from comes after them.

Trying to kill his wife because if he does his daughter will live. The love a parent has for their kid is immense. How it it should be really. Sadly he gets arrested and Jonah continues on like it's nothing. Like he isn't destroying lives with this decision of his. They have to continue their march towards the OR despite this. Because Jonah still holds all the cards right now.

This next part gets me right in the feels. Nolan is able to get his wife to listen to the daughter. Her speech gets me teary every time. What a strong and amazing young woman to say what does. Did what Nolan couldn't do in the first place. Build rapport and get her to break. To change her mind on this whole thing. I think it's the fact that she forgives this woman that gets her to break. To let her know she forgives her even thoush she's taking away her second chance. This episode is all kinds of emotional in the best way.

His wife withdraws consent after that. Says she can’t do this anymore. Just like that it's over. Or so we we think. Jonah tries to turn off the ransomware but can’t. His partners have locked him out and want a ransom to unlock it. One the hospital cannot afford. Tim and John are escorting Jonah out now. He’s going on about needing to be there for his wife. Tim tells him he gets nothing since he let someone die. He’s going to prison for a murder charge.

John steps in and says if he can tell them who he’s working with they can help. It's possible Jonah can get bail so he can spend what time she has left with him. He lets them know who he was hired by. That it was their idea to hack the hospital. Saying they’d pay him to build the ransomware. He was an easy target due to his medical debt. He’s slowly figuring out they were just a means to an end. Tells them the IT dept. can track messages they sent him.

Cue to sexy OP Tim mmm. Tactical Tim is one of my favs. Also nice shots of his ass and I’m not complaining LOL The house is empty once they clear it. They're worried they've already left or haven't been here for awhile. Tim noting it has to be here. No way they could run that kind of software on a laptop. They decide check outdoors and Nolan see's transformer with a cable running from it.

Tim follows Nolan as he sees a massive cable running along the grass. They trace it to a container on the property. This is where the hackers are set up. Nolan tells one of them they can have a deal the other gets way more jail time. Just depends on who answers him first. One of the hackers easily gives up their partner in a flash. Tim's ‘Good answer’ cracks me up LOL I love him.

Lucy is in an emotional coma when Tamara and Chris check in on her. Really it's Tamara that says they should. Chris has no drive to check on her himself. He tried knocking once and gave up. Tamara is the one to push it and make them enter the room. She doesn't have time for Chris to grow some balls to check on her. Dipshit I mean Chris asks her if she watched it? Not a single brain cell in that head is there? How did you make it through law school sir? Seriously? Of course she watched it you idiot. I love Lucy for not testifying. This was so big for her to step away from. It was not an easy decision for her to make. Once again being the strong role model for Tamara.

I'm so proud of her for being courageous enough to watch that video. I get why she did. Everyone else had access to it. Seen it. I think it was part of her decision to move on. Her processing things was her realizing she had nothing to prove. Damn right you don’t. Screw Rosalind, screw Chris and this whole thing. Her saying she survived that felt like a call back to 2x12. Where Tim helped her see it wasn’t a failure but proof of what a survivor she is. His words sticking with her in this moment. I love it.

Tamara coming over and hugging her is the best part. She is so proud of Lucy for making this call. It was her's to make and a place she needed to get to on her own. If it had been up to Tamara she never would've gone through this at all. I love her telling her she is going to make dinner. They really are a make-shift family and it's so lovely to see. I just love them so much. How she instantly wants to take care of Lucy. Makes my heart happy in an ep where all I wanted to do was murder Chris.

How their relationship survived this episode I couldn’t tell you. His ass deserved to be dumped so very hard. Like a cat with nine lives. He keeps on ticking. When all he deserved was to be shut out of her life for good. Also of course Chris doesn’t cook... Chalk another one up for the clown. I seriously have zero idea what she sees in him. Other than just being lonely and wanting companionship. So ends this episode. I wanna say I’m sorry for all my Chris rage but I’m really not LOL

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

James and Nyla be cute. I love them. That be it.

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collaredattachment · 1 year

Text

Classroom Blues

Character: Melissa Schemmenti Word count: 3,310 Warnings: Car accidents, panic attacks, PTSD Genre: Hurt/Comfort Rating: T

Description: Tires screech against pavement, shrill and cruel. Aluminum crunches. Glass shatters. Every single kid stops what they’re doing. --- It’s never been so frightening to look out the window

“That’s looking great, Noah!”

You smile over his shoulder, and he beams back at you before returning to his crayons.

Second graders are so easy to please.

You walk past him to get a look at everybody else’s paper plate dinosaurs. Nathan’s is breathing fire. Tyrone gave his a little princess crown. When you asked, Jamila said hers is ‘a apatopasaurus’ and that she refuses any further comment.

Fantastic work, overall.

It’s looking mighty fine outside too; the day is stretching into afternoon, and the sun blazes into the art room, etching on the walls the shadows of the easter bunnies the first graders had made last week.

The clock is slowly ticking towards two, and you’re only fifteen minutes away from a hot McVegan — no tomato, and two hours of the Good Place. Jamila lifts her hand as high as she can and speaks before you can even get to her.

“I’m all done,” she says. Her apatopasaurus is made of three plates instead of one, and the legs have pink pipe cleaners for both claws and a tongue. There’s a little tear drawn beneath its googly eye.

“Oh, wow.” You turn it around and smile at the glitter glue spots drawn on the other side. “This is really great, Jamila. You wanna help me put it on the—“

Tires screech against pavement, shrill and cruel. Aluminum crunches. Glass shatters.

Every single kid stops what they’re doing.

“Look!” Samantha yells and runs to the window. Half the class follows her, crowding in a line to catch a glimpse. God’s mercy that most of them are too short to see past the supply shelf. It offers you no such protection, though.

Just by the crossing outside, a black car is crushed against a DHL truck. Must have been going way outside the speed limit; you’re barely allowed to hit 40 out there because of the kids. The left side is completely collapsed around the truck’s hood, but you can see the driver just fine from here.

Dead.

He’s dead.

You snap into action.

“Hey, come on,” you say and start herding them away from the windows. “The ambulance guys will handle it, okay? Let’s get back to work.”

Your voice sounds distant to your own ears, like you’re speaking into a bottomless tunnel. The kids don’t seem to hear you either. More likely they’re just not listening because they’re eight-year-olds and most of them haven’t had time to even think about death yet.

They haven’t been to a funeral on a perfectly sunny day, just like this one.

Haven’t hung upside down by their seatbelt in a upended car.

Or seen how broken glass mangles a face.

Stop.

You blink yourself back into the here-and-now. Your knees are already beginning to feel weak, ready to buckle under the slightest strain.

Just breathe. Ten years of practiced technique, honed to perfection. Breathe.

For the kids, if not for yourself.

The minute hand on the clock ticks over to fifty-three. A few kids, the same ones who always put the watercolors back where they belong once they’re done, were kind enough to head back to their seats, but that still leaves you with eight children glued to the glass, watching the driver get dragged out of the car. He’s dropped onto the pavement. Someone’s trying to resuscitate. You can tell from here that it won’t work.

“Okay, I mean it this time.” You try to cover your trembling voice, to apply the gentle authority you’d seen Barbara pull a thousand times. They don’t move an inch. Maybe it’s the gulf of difference in experience, maybe it’s just Barbara being Barbara, or maybe they can tell that you’re afraid.

You sigh and peel the kids off the window one by one and escort them into their seats. Inelegant. Methodical. Your limbs function outside your jurisdiction in a world entirely of their own. When you bring your hand to hover in front of your face, it feels lightyears away, a limb puppeted without its master.

You can still feel crumbled glass embedded between the creases of your palm.

Breathe, damn it.

“Who was that guy?” Jamila asks even after you’ve sat her back down by her dinosaur.

“I don’t know, buddy.” You brush cardboard clippings off her shorts and onto the floor. The fabric is void of feeling under your prickling fingers. “But I’m sure they’ve called an ambulance. They’ll take care of it.”

Sure enough, when you glance at the road, Janine is buzzing around the truck driver, her phone already glued to her ear.

The bell rings at last. The kids yell out in joy and their wave of conversation washes you back ashore for a second. They grab their bags, forget their plates and stickers and markers, and are out the door in record time. They’re so excited.

You can’t tell them to slow down, to stop, even, until the commotion outside is finished. You can’t do anything but stand still and listen as their voices ebb away into just an echo.

Pills. Where are your pills.

You stumble to your bag and search it with trembling, unsure hands, like fingers against a jammed car door, dipping into the seams to tear the whole thing off if you have to. You throw your keys on the table, same as your wallet, your planner, your lighter, and a handful of stray pens; all of them in a heap that slips over the edge and to the floor. You turn the whole bag inside out, but can’t find the pill bottle.

Your chest is getting tighter, heavier, like the spaces between your ribs are stuffed with cotton, like you’re trapped under a ten ton truck careening off the highway uncaring of casualties.

Breathe. Remember to breathe.

You can’t breathe, that’s the whole fucking problem.

The room is empty. Your only companion is the sun, and even she’s about to dip behind the buildings on the other side of the street.

You fall to your knees, grasping at the collar of your shirt, your fingers far too stiff, too jittery to undo one single button. You tear them open anyway. One flies under the shelf, like a body clean through the windshield. He said he didn’t need the seatbelt; it was such a short trip anyway. His legs were bent wrong six times over down in the ditch.

The world becomes muffled, stuffs your ears with ringing to keep you from hearing your own scratchy, frightened heaves for air. To save you the fear. The shame. You claw at your throat, at your chest, hoping you might dig out the chunk obstructing your windpipe.

You want to scream. So much. You’re mentally holding yourself by the shoulders, begging yourself to keep quiet. You’re in a position of authority. A child sees you like this, it’ll go down to the parents and you’re in trouble. Abbott’s in trouble. You can’t afford that.

You remember the mud staining your shirt when you’d crawled out, your leg broken and your face dripping with blood. You still don’t know if it was yours. Sirens, nearby. A broken airbag. A broken neck.

Blood.

You back up against the wall and your head bangs into the bricks with a sudden jerk, though the pain is nothing, nothing compared to—

A hand lands on your shoulder. You jump back in fright, your other arm flying to shield your face. Something hot drips down your cheek, but you can’t bring your fingers up to check, can’t trap yourself in that knowledge.

“Whoa, okay,” someone says. “No sudden touching. Gotcha.” The voice sinks like a rock into deep, dark water, far off and twisted. You can’t move to see who it is, who’s come to watch you in your weakest, most undignified moment.

“I’m gonna take your hand,” they say. “That okay?”

You nod, but the movement is stiff and thick with tension, just like the neckbrace they’d given you, after everything. You had a rash for weeks.

Your hand is enveloped by another, the touch soft, the fingers a little cold. There are rings right above the knuckles: two of them plain bands and one with a big, sharp stone on it. You squeeze the hand hard, hard enough to make the other person groan a thick, hefty ‘ow’.

“Okay. Think you could try and breathe with me? Doesn’t have to be perfect.”

The person doesn’t wait this time. They take a deep breath, exaggerated enough for even you to hear, and then exhale, like wind in the trees on a stormy night when nobody should’ve been driving in the first place.

Your attempt in following them is sad and broken. The air remains trapped in your throat, refusing to flow all the way into your lungs, no matter how you try to wheeze it in or out.

“Good, keep going.”

It’s not even remotely good, not even passable, but you keep it up anyway. In and out, but it’s more like i-i-i-i-in-in-in and ooo-out-o-ooout. This doesn’t deter the person sitting next to you, though. They keep their breathing even and deep, and you follow them, out of pace and rhythm in a one-sided dance where you keep crushing your mystery partner’s toes.

“You’re doin’ real good,” they say, and a thumb is drawn across your knuckles, soft and soothing, free of crusted blood or thick, soupy mud. “Just keep going.

Ain’t no point in rushin’ it, right?”

You do as you’re told. In and out. Your pained attempts slowly start to resemble what the other person is doing, more of a mirror than a reflection in disturbed water. The locked knots in your muscles start unwinding themselves open one by one, and you suddenly find yourself sagging forwards without control.

Arms wrap around your torso and your head knocks into someone’s clavicle instead of the floor. You’re shifted like a living doll into a more comfortable position and your nose buries itself into the nook between the person’s neck and shoulders. You inhale a lungful of syrupy perfume and papaya shampoo.

The clock keeps ticking. The rhythm anchors you, keeps you safely here on the classroom floor where there’s no cars, no highways, no forgotten seatbelts.

“That any better?”

Melissa Schemmenti moves her hand to your back to draw big, smooth circles into your shirt. You manage a dazed, exhausted nod.

The classroom is swimming back into view, bit by bit, color by color. Chairs abandoned where their occupants leapt out of them, craft supplies all over the floor. Tamir forgot his backpack.

“The kids—“

“Are fine,” Melissa says. Her arm slides off your back and around your shoulder instead. She squeezes you tight. “Janine and Gregory were on herding duty.”

“Ok,” you whisper. The clock ticks on, and your stomach dips when you read the face: ten past three.

“You wanna talk about it?” Melissa asks.

The scenery fades in and out, transforms into the woods by the highway and back into an elementary art class in disarray. A mess, both ways. You press your knuckles into your eyes and watch the sparks.

“I’m not sure,” you say.

Melissa nods and clicks open her phone. She shoots someone a text, though you only realize to look away by the time she’s about to write something to Janine.

“Thanks, though” you mumble into the crook of her neck. Your body is dipping straight past relaxed all the way into half-dead. Your fingers feel like spaghetti noodles.

Melissa huffs a laugh. “It’s no trouble.”

You sniff and wipe your cheeks. Apparently you were crying after all.

“How did you find me?”

Melissa puts her phone back in her pocket and you can feel her jaw tighten. She’s thinking.

“I was coming to check on the kids because, well. You know.” She waves her free hand toward the window. “I saw you go down. Fell right off your feet. Scared me to hell, you know.”

You grimace. “Sorry.”

“Pssh,” she says. “Like I said. It’s no trouble.”

You watch the splotch of sunlight, still persistently on the wall. Another hour and it’ll be gone.

You start to peel yourself off of Melissa, pausing mid-movement to wait for the ringing in your ears to ease up, and lean against the wall instead. Melissa, thankfully, keeps her arm around you for support.

“I was in a car accident,” you say.

Melissa’s brow shoots to her hairline when her head whips around.

“It was bad.” You rub your fingers together; a feeble attempt to get some feeling back into them. “I was sitting in the back and my best friend was driving. Her boyfriend was in the passenger seat.”

Deep breaths. In and out.

“They both died.”

“Jesus,” Melissa says, spits the lord’s name in a way that would make Barbara send both of you to sunday school. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“Still.”

“Yeah.” You clear your throat, hoping to buy yourself a second of time to stave off any further admission; words you know you can’t keep to yourself right now but ones you’re embarrassed to admit regardless. “I can’t even watch tv shows about that stuff ever since. Of course it would find me in the front yard.” You scoff. “Figures.”

Melissa sighs, soft and smooth, so unlike your own strained, barely calmed breathing. “Shit.”

You can’t help the smile. “Yeah.”

“You feeling any better?” she asks.

You give your neck a little roll, wiggle your fingers and your toes. “I think so. I don’t think I can walk just yet, though.”

“That’s all right. My dinner plans can wait a couple minutes.”

Footsteps draw your attention to the hall. Barbara appears in the doorway in her light brown jacket, her and Melissa’s purses both slung over her shoulder. She takes a quick look at you and then stares meaningfully at Melissa, posing a silent question.

Heat floods into your cheeks, your neck, your ears. It could’ve been Janine, could’ve been Gregory, even Jacob, but of course it has to be Barbara Howard, the singlemost composed person in the whole world, who stumbles in on you crying into Melissa’s shoulder.

Her divorce papers were recently filed, though, so if anything, she’s probably very familiar with the feeling.

Melissa mimes ‘five more minutes’ at Barbara, and there’s a silent battle of wills between them, a conversation you couldn’t even begin to understand, after which Barbara sighs with a smile on her face, bows her head and disappears back into the hall.

“You gonna get home okay?” Melissa asks you when the sound of Barbara’s heels has faded.

“Yeah. Usually I bike, but I think I’ll walk home today. I’ll be fine.” Melissa’s face dips into a frown as she very seriously doubts you. There’s no escaping that look, and it only takes you a second to start sweating. You wonder how people actually trying to fight Melissa Schemmenti aren’t immediately recuded to cinders.

“I swear,” you say, and draw a cross over your heart. Melissa smacks her lips and tilts her head as she assesses your woozy, bulldozed self. Apparently you aren’t shaking that bad, because when she straightens herself, she says, “Okay. But.”

You want to groan. A good sign. Your feet are a little closer to ground again.

“You text both me and Barb when ya get home. Is that clear?”

You lift your hand in a salute. “Crystal.”

Melissa laughs, a smoke-worn, throaty sound that pulls you another inch closer to reality.

“Keep that up and no Schemmenti leftovers for you,” she says. “Cheeky little shit.”

She somehow drags a laugh out of you, short and genuine and good, and it’s not like none of this happened, but it lets you put a band-aid on the wound at least.

“I think I could try getting up now.” You try putting a little pressure on your foot, and though your leg doesn’t immediately smack right back to the floor, it does tremble a significant amount. Heat crawls down your neck again as you ask,

“Could you, uh…”

“’Course.”

Melissa gets to her feet with a strained groan and a ‘fuck my fucking knees’, but manages to get herself standing. She offers you her hand and you take it, keeping your free palm firmly against the wall as she pulls you to your feet. It’s an unsteady operation, one that leaves you dizzy and winded, and nearly back on your ass more than once.

Once you’re safely standing, Melissa gathers up the contents of your bag and hands it to you, but only once she’s made sure that you can actually carry it. She holds you by the shoulders all the way to the hall, and doesn’t let go until the door has safely clicked shut. You still keep your hand by the wall, though. Just in case.

“I’ll have to come in early tomorrow to clean up,” you say with a sigh.

“Don’t even think about it.”

When you look at her, Melissa is staring you down with the intensity of three suns. Whole solar systems, even. You put your hands up in surrender.

“Only if you’re sure,” you say. It is a relief, you have to admit. Especially if you still have to run to the pharmacy to get your prescription refilled.

“Don’t you worry your li’l head about it.”

She walks you all the way to the entrance, where Barbara is still waiting with a paperback book propped on Melissa’s bag.

“All cleared up, then?” she asks.

“Yup,” Melissa says. Short and sweet. Barbara doesn’t ask any further question, though you doubt it’s from lack of interest. At least Melissa has a dinner story to share, if nothing else.

You all slip out the door, but Melissa stops you there. She looks you over, head to toe, her lips pursed and her hands fiddling with the strap of her purse.

“You sure about this?” she asks. “I could give you a ride.”

You fish your keys from your bag and close your fingers around the one meant for the lock on your bike.

“I’ll be okay. And I’ll text you.”

Melissa raises her brow.

“Both of you.”

The idea of sending Barbara Howard a text of any kind outside a professional environment feels like some kind of a breach of protocol, but Barbara herself doesn’t seem phased. Outward, at least.

Janine is going to lose her mind when you tell her about this.

A cool breeze slides under your thin shirt, and your arms erupt in goosebumps.

“I better get going,” you say, but can’t get yourself to walk over to the bike rack just yet. Your fingernail digs into the notches of the key, and you try to figure out something to say, anything that could put into words just how much Melissa has done for you in one afternoon. In the end, you decide to go with something simple.

“Thank you, Melissa.”

She looks amused, truly like she’s done what anybody else would have. Like it’s nothing. You wonder if she’ll ever know how much it means, even if you tried to tell her.

“Eh.” She shrugs. “It was no trouble.”

How perfectly Melissa of her.

“See you tomorrow,” you say, and with one final wave and a smile goodbye, you start heading for home.

Behind you, once you’re definitely out of range, Barbara turns to Melissa.

“What happened?” she asks.

Melissa watches you clear the crosswalk and waits until you disappear behind the Subway.

“I’ll tell you later, hon.” She presses a kiss to Barbara’s cheek. “First we need to eat. I am too fucking hungry to talk.”

“Melissa Ann Schemmenti,” Barbara gasps, “you watch that tongue of yours.”

“Don’t you worry about that, Barb.”

“Incorrigible,” Barbara mutters and heads for the car. Melissa doesn’t miss the smile on her face.

“Love you too.”

#Melissa Schemmenti #Reader #Melissa Schemmenti x Reader #Melissa x Reader #Abbott Elementary #Reader Insert

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thelightsandtheroses · 1 year

Text

Call It What You Want: one - this is the day your life will surely change

Pairing: Frankie Morales x female reader (as she’s Tom Davis’ sister, she’s may not be really suitable as a complete reader insert but physical descriptions are avoided)

Summary: Tom Davis’ younger half-sister never expected to move back to Florida, but eight months after her brother’s untimely death and in the wake of her, in hindsight, ill-advised marriage ending, here she is. Frankie Morales is trying to get it together after his relapse on returning to Florida led to the breakdown of his relationship. His priorities now are finding his own place so he doesn’t need to sleep on Pope’s couch, maintaining sobriety, spending more time with his daughter and getting his pilot’s licence back. So when the two of them end up sharing an apartment, it seems like the ideal solution. However, things are never that simple, are they?

Chapter Warnings: Minors DNI (18+ only), language, discussions of drug abuse and addiction including a non-explicit reference to an overdose, allusions to a previously abusive relationship (not detailed or specified), discussions of death, PTSD, canon typical violence, do I need to warn for mentions of Tom (it’s post-movie though!) the reader is Tom’s half sister, though I have avoided physical descriptions and there is no use of y/n.

Word Count: 3.7k

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Frankie

Hope is a dangerous thing. Frankie’s spent years in the army, focusing on isolated missions, isolated goals. He was a weapon, a tool, one who became less of a person by the day. He saved people, he killed people. He learnt quickly there is no offsetting, no balance to that.

The army, the world, they taught Frankie that hope was a luxury you discard quickly. Detachment and the ability to compartmentalise became far more useful to him.

Then he had Gabby. Somehow amongst his many failures, against every part of him that knows he’s not good enough to be her dad, or to be in her life at all, there’s a lifebuoy, a glimmer of opportunity.

It’s still strange being in the home he shared with Melissa for years as a guest. He’s surrounded by the ghosts of a life he thought could have. It doesn’t hurt though, not as much at least.

Gabby’s playing with one of her toys, cheerfully babbling away with her dark curls in a loose high ponytail on the top of her head. Every time Frankie looks at her, he’s filled with that anxiety-inducing sense of love, of failure, of everything. He wants her to have everything, wants to be better for her. He will be.

“So, when do you get the keys for your new place?” Melissa says, handing him a steaming mug of coffee.

“Tomorrow. God, I’ll be glad to get off Santi’s couch,” Frankie says, rubbing his shoulder automatically.

“I bet.”

“I’m - I’m trying here, Melissa.”

“I know, I know you are, Frankie.” She opens her mouth for a moment but doesn’t say anything.

After a moment, Frankie takes a gulp of his coffee and goes back to watching their daughter.

Gabby is the one who breaks the silence by handing Frankie one of her toys and looking at him with what he can only describe as the most effective puppy eyes he’s seen. She is going to be a nightmare when she’s older, Frankie just knows it. How can he ever say no to her?

“Okay mija,” he says, sliding down from the couch to join her on the floor. “What are we doing here?”

“Do - do you everything you need?” Melissa asks, “for the apartment. We’ve - we’ve never done the whole dividing stuff up, have we? I mean you put some of your things in the garage, but do you have everything you need there?”

Frankie looks up. “I could do a couple of things maybe - most of it’s in the garage still, like you said.”

“Okay, well let’s sort that out then.” Melissa smiles at Frankie and it’s strangely reassuring. “I need to go dial into this work call, be back soon.”

For a while, it’s just Frankie and Gabby which he loves. When he was younger and he heard the other people in his barracks or missions talk about their kids, he couldn’t understand it. How could you be that fascinated by a baby who couldn’t even fully talk yet? He knows now though.

Melissa walks back in, massaging her brow with a hand. “God, I hate this office sometimes.”

“I should probably go in a minute.”

“Wait, um, Frankie, I was thinking … I forgot to say earlier, I have a thing - an overnight thing on Thursday, do you want to have Gabby then? I was going to take her to my mom’s but -” Thing is definitely code for date judging by her face.

“No, definitely, yeah.” It doesn’t even sting like he thought it would, though Frankie knows Melissa’s been a few dates in the last few months. In fact, all Frankie can think about is how it’ll be the longest unsupervised visit with his daughter since that night, how maybe there is some hope.

“You can keep her here, okay?” Melissa says softly.

Frankie nods. It’ll be another night on a sofa but one he doesn’t mind for once.

“Let’s get you settled where you are, see how things go. She adores you, Frankie, and I - I want you in her life, I need you to be, just-” she falters and shrugs.

He looks at his ex-partner and nods. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m there for her, anytime.”

“Good.”

Frankie reverts to focusing on whatever toy his daughter is trying to get him to join her in playing with.

“You know, I still can’t believe your roommate is Tom’s sister,” Melissa says after a moment.

“Blame Benny, it was his idea,” Frankie replies casually, “She seems fine though, very normal. Quiet even, makes a change from when I was at Benny’s.” Staying at Benny’s had been a challenge in Frankie’s early days of recovery. Benny’s one of his best friends but he’s loud and exuberant, even when he’s just faking it, and when you’re deep into the migraine and depression stage of withdrawal, well… it’s testament to their bond that they are still good friends.

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“The quiet?”

“Her being Tom’s sister.” Melissa doesn’t know everything about South America, she can’t. The only people who really know are him, Santi, Benny and Will. They’ll probably take it to their graves. Melissa knows it was a recce, that it went wrong, that Tom died. He wanted to tell her, once, but he couldn’t. She knows enough though. She saw enough.

“It’ll be fine,” he says. “I’ll be fine.”

Melissa only hums in response.

“Hey Frankie? About Tom’s sister, you know, I remember her from - from his birthday last year,” Melissa says after a moment.

“Oh yeah?” Frankie asks distractedly, taking a different proffered toy from his daughter. “Thank you, sweetie.”

“She seemed sad,” Melissa says thoughtfully, “At Tom’s birthday, she was upset.”

Frankie looks up from Gabby. He’s surprised by Melissa’s observation and tries to remember the event in question. Gabby was only a few weeks old; he remembers that, remembers how the two of them had been so tired, how proud the two of them had been that they’d even made it to the party in the first place.

“How could you tell?” Frankie asks.

Melissa rolls her eyes. “She just looked sad, Frankie, I don’t know.“

You

In retrospect, perhaps agreeing to move in with one of your brother’s old army friends you only vaguely know and have had just half an hour’s worth of coffee with, to an apartment you hadn’t actually seen in person, is reckless.

On the plus side, you’re finally moving out of your ex-sister-in-law’s spare room. Not that you dislike Molly, it’s just too much.

You grab the nearest box on the passenger seat of your car, slamming the door shut with your hip as you try and artfully lock the car with the remote without dropping anything.

The apartment block looks fine, clean and white painted on the outside. It’s time.

For the past week and ever since the coffee shop meeting, most of your communication with Frankie had been around the leases and furniture. The apartment is unfurnished but between the two of you, the generosity of your family and friends, and one rushed IKEA online order, you’ve been able to pull together enough between you to ensure the apartment has the basics.

The door to the apartment is open and you walk in to find Frankie, Benny, Will and Santiago in the main living area assembling a coffee table.

“Hey,” Will says, calling your name cheerfully. Benny immediately jogs over to you to take the box from your arms.

“Where’s this going, sweetheart? We thought you’d be here later.”

“My room,” you say, “which is - crap, which one did we agree on?”

“Yours is the one on the left,” Frankie says, pointing the screwdriver he was holding in the general vicinity of your room.

“I’ll uh - get the rest of my boxes from the car.”

Will quickly stands up to join you, wrapping a comforting arm around you as you make your way back to your car.

“How are you doing?” he asks.

“Good, thanks for all your help.”

“It’s fine, it’s nothing, honest.” Will leans against your car door. “I’m just glad to see you’re in a better place now, getting things together.” It’s the closest you’ve come to discussing the morning you turned up at Will’s hotel room in New York and quietly announced to him that you were leaving your husband. Benny and Will had taken you back to your old townhouse, helped you pack a bag, asked guarded questions about what had changed from the day before when you’d had coffee with them before Benny’s fight that you’d danced around in the same way as you imagined Benny had moved around his opponent the night before. Will organised your flight and had even managed to arrange your seat with them. Benny had distracted you on the flight home with jokes and then when you’d panicked before landing about what on earth you were doing, Benny had quietly reassured you, had even held your hand.

This brotherhood, you realise quickly isn’t about you. The Millers helped you because you were Tom’s sister, you know that. These people are Frankie’s, they are here for him, to get him set up. This is a team effort; this is a family almost. It’s sweet to see; the brotherhood and loyalty between the four of them echoes through the room but doesn’t make you feel a complete spare part either.

You briefly wonder if Tom would be here if he was alive, helping assemble furniture and move boxes. If he were and if you’re honest, you’re not sure which of the two of you he’d be there for.

Hours later, as Santiago is the last of Frankie’s friends to leave, you look around you. This is real. This is happening.

You wander from your bedroom in the main kitchen living area. Frankie is in his room, so you have a moment to get yourself together. This is your home now too.

You turn on the TV and scroll until you find a show you were partway through. You curl up on the end of the sofa you’ve decided to claim as your own in Frankie’s absence.

This is nice, you think.

Frankie walks out of his room, casually jamming his phone into his jeans pocket. Out of the corner of your eye, you follow him as he opens the fridge to get a drink and then walks over to you.

“Oh, is this the latest episode?” he asks casually, pointing at the TV after artlessly flopping onto the other side of the sofa. “I love this show.”

“Yeah, it is. - I only just put it on. Do you want me to rewind?”

“Did I miss anything important?”

“Not really, don’t think so.”

“I’m good then.”

It’s going to be okay.

One episode turns into two and that awkward tension you’ve been worried about eases. You notice that Frankie relaxes too, how his arm swings over the top of the sofa and his fingers stop dancing on the sofa.

His phone sounds and he digs it out of his pockets, rapidly typing a response before putting it back.

“It’s Mel, she’s sorting out Thursday. I’ve got Gabby then. I’m staying at hers.” He drops his phone down between the two of you and though the cracked screen, you briefly notice his lock-screen is a photo of a small toddler. Frankie had mentioned Gabby when you had coffee and Ella would probably kill you if you ever told her this, but seeing the genuine love and adoration he had for his daughter weirdly made you feel a little more reassured about the whole roommate idea. You’re not sure if that makes you a terrible feminist, easy prey for a serial killer or just plain naive. Or normal, it could be totally normal, right?

You did also try and grill Frankie on his relationship with his ex and from what he said, and what you may or may not have confirmed with Benny, it seems amicable enough. Must be amicable enough if he’s staying over there.

“She’s adorable,” you say, pointing at his phone.

“Gabby?” Everything about Frankie’s face softens, “She’s amazing, I mean she can be a complete terror, but - yeah, she’s the best.” He trails off towards the end, looks away from you and towards the balcony doors.

You’ve noticed this, the way sometimes Frankie seems to go somewhere else. You’re not stupid, you know where he goes. Your brother wore the same vacant stares for a while.

“Do you want to watch one more episode?” you ask.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” When Frankie smiles, it’s dazzling.

You yawn loudly as you carefully stir your pasta sauce in the pan. You’re so tired. The last few days of work have been busier than usual, plus you’ve had several gruelling calls with your lawyer this week trying to iron out details that seem so trivial, so petty you can hardly believe there are people being paid to debate and agree this. You hate his phone calls; you never sleep well afterwards.

You’re off tomorrow though. Thankfully! To mark the occasion, you’re cooking a real meal tonight; an old pasta recipe you’ve perfected over the years since college.

It feels natural; living here, somehow it already feels more like a home than your old house ever did. It was a gorgeous house in New York, you could admit that, but everything was so sterile, so clean and pristine you felt afraid just breathing would somehow tarnish it.

You’ve been living in the apartment for almost two weeks now. For the first week it reminded you of college; of the first time you lived with strangers, especially boys, and how you used to always make sure you were never in your pyjamas or seen not fully ready in common spaces. You’re older now and there’s only one bathroom so that isn’t really the same concern anymore.

Now, you think you’ve both found some rhythms to your new routines. It feels less stilted - maybe Frankie is even becoming your friend of sorts.

You haven’t mentioned Tom - neither of you have.

Lost in your reverie, you turn around to add the next ingredient and are stunned to find the dish towel on the work surface next to the hob is now alight.

The fire alarm starts.

Your reflex as is to block your ears from the shrill sound rather than attend to the actual issue but you manage to beat that urge and open the kitchen window as wide as you can with one hand as you throw the tea towel in the sink and turn the tap on.

“Crap, crap, crap, crap.”

You smell the pasta sauce next. In the few, short moments you’ve been distracted with almost setting fire to the damn apartment, your sauce has burned.

“No, oh fuck,” you whisper.

The alarm continues to sound as you angrily turn the hob off and grab the pan from the stove, starting at the scene in front of you.

The tea towel steams in the sink with your surely now ruined dinner by the side. It had been going so well; what were you thinking? You couldn’t even be trusted to do the most basic things. You swear this didn’t used to be a problem.

It’s not even your tea towel, it’s Frankie’s which somehow makes it worse. Your failings are bleeding onto him, you must be a terrible roommate. He surely regrets ever allowing this to happen.

There’s an acrid smell of burning, of burnt food, of the burnt towel.

Nate was right about you.

Every bad thought hits you like a punch, clouding your vision, squeezing your lungs until it’s hard to breathe. Your heart is hammering in your chest.

You’re not in your apartment right now, you’re lost in a wave of memories and moments you would want to forget.

“What’s happened?” Frankie says, having come out of his room - no doubt at the sound of the alarm which is continuing to blare loudly. He looks panicked as he quickly makes his way to the kitchen.

“I -”

“Oh,” he says, sounding surprisingly relieved. It strikes you that perhaps he thought it was something more serious, you’ve probably worried him unnecessarily.

The alarm stops at last and the resulting silence is somehow worse.

“Fuck,” you say, your voice sounding so small and pathetic. You won’t cry in front of him, you won’t.

“It’s just a cloth,” he says, his voice low and calm. He’s so close to you right now. His presence is steadying and brings the weight back to your body somehow.

“I can’t even prepare something as basic as -”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” His hand hovers over your back, almost nervously for a second before you feel him make contact, gently touch your back to bring you back down to the here and now. “You okay? Didn’t burn yourself?”

“It’s not,” you say fiercely, embarrassment rising that he’s here and being so nice to you about this. “It’s not okay.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Then it is going to be fine,” he replies firmly. “I hated that fucking dish towel.”

“I ruined my pasta sauce. It’s meant to be my best recipe.”

“I burn stuff all the time, sweetheart. All the time.”

“I-”

“C’mon,” Frankie guides you out of the kitchen area over to the sofa.

For a moment you’re not sure why he’s doing this, why he’s being so kind to you. You notice he’s looking down, looking at your hands. They’re trembling and you immediately stuff them into your jean’s pockets. This is so embarrassing.

“I- uh - I’ve got leftovers if you don’t want to cook tonight anymore, or we can start it again if you really need that pasta today,” Frankie says gently.

“You just told me you burn stuff all the time” you say blankly.

“There she is,” he says with a wry smile, “I take it all back.” He smiles at you and gently tucks a strand of hair beyond your ear. You find yourself starting at Frankie’s eyes. His dark eyes are so expressive, almost imploring now. You wonder what he’s thinking about; it must be serious because his brow is furrowed.

He moves suddenly. “I’m going to get a drink; do you want one?”

“Um, sure?”

‘Soda, beer or water?”

“Soda, please.” You pause for a moment before adding” Hey Frankie, what are the leftovers?”

“Pizza,” Frankie says, “From the good place. I didn’t want to cook tonight.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Sunlight frames the kitchen, erasing the drama of the night before. In this light, things feel brighter, softer even.

Despite it being your day off, you still promptly woke up twenty minutes before your usual alarm but you’ve allowed yourself an extra hour in bed. However now you need coffee.

You place your coffee pot on the stove before moving to rummage through the cupboard for the peanut butter.

Your phone is quietly playing music as you take out some breakfast for yourself; you don’t want to disturb Frankie this early in the morning. Although you spend so much of your working time making coffee for others now, you still love the drink and your morning rituals.

Back in New York, you had an extravagant and high spec espresso machine, but now, even with just your moka pot and cheap milk steamer, it tastes just as good.

As if by magic though, just as the coffee has almost finished bubbling in the pot, you hear Frankie’s door open.

“Morning,” you say brightly. “Coffee? I’m making a pot so you can have some if you want.”

“Even on your day off, huh?”

“Well the moka pot’s easier than the machine at work though.”

“Oh, you’re making it in the moka pot?”

“It tastes better,” you says with a slightly defensive tone to your voice.

“Oh, I know it does,” Frankie says, humming in approval. He walks over, rubbing his eyes drowsily as he approaches you. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt and as he runs his hands through his hair, it exposes the skin between his t-shirt and sweatpants and you - you should not notice this.

“And you’re going to share it?”

“I’ve offered, haven’t I?“ You take the coffee off the hob and finish your preparations.

“Then yes, absolutely. Please. You know you’re actually a great roommate right?”

You laugh before adding,“Well, I did set fire to your dish towel last night.”

“If you’re going to offer me the decent coffee every time you set a teatowel on fire, then I’ll head to Ikea right now.”

“Eh, if you get used to it, it’ll lose the magic.“

“True.”

You finish pouring the milk into the coffee. “Sugar?”

“Two heaped ones, please.”

“Two?”

“Sweet tooth,” he mumbles as he moves behind you to take his mug of coffee. He accidentally brushes against you, sending a shiver down your spine as he touches your arm. You’re suddenly starkly aware of the fact you’re only in the pair of shorts and a t-shirt you’d been sleeping in.

“M’sorry,” he grumbles.

“It’s fine,“ you reply quickly, turning around to face him.

“Thanks.” He takes a gulp of coffee, exhaling happily afterwards. “The coffee’s really good.”

You take a sip of your own steaming mug of coffee. “It’s nothing,”you say quietly.

“I uh- better get ready for work,” he says after a moment, “Have a good day off though.” He waves awkwardly as he takes his mug of coffee back to his room.

You lean against the kitchen counter for a moment, taking careful sips of your coffee as you replay the conversation.

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