#parabatai bond a summary

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

The Bond

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Relationship: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader

Summary: The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced.

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Major character death. Angst. Pregnancy. ATWOW spoilers.

Comments: Hockey people look away, look away… After watching ATWOW I physically could not stop thinking about ‘what if you could feel the bond’ the way Parabatai feel each other in the Mortal Instruments and one thing led to another… This really was supposed to just be a short little imagine just to get the idea out of my head so I could work on my other projects but then I went hmmm no I think this needs some context for it to make sense and then I proceeded to write their entire fucking story cradle to grave and spent WAY too much time fact checking every single detail… There were a bunch of ways I could have expanded this, but I told myself no because no one needs a 50k+ Neteyam story... Also, this was not betad because I was not about to subject my poor beta to my current Avatar obsession.

Disclaimer: I thought Neteyam was 20 the whole movie so that’s how old he is in this, which is about the same age Jake and Neytiri were in the first film. And also, Neteyam wears a battle belt, which means he is seen as a man among the Omatikaya.

do not repost, do not claim as your own

Tsaheylu.

The bond.

The beginning and the end of everything.

You feel their breath, you feel their heart, you feel their strength. It’s your way to connect with the world around you. At least, that’s what they always told you.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond. You can ride and fly and see and hear without uttering a single word. And most beautiful of all, you get to feel your mate, if you were lucky enough to find one.

With a mate, it wasn’t just their breaths and heart you felt like a horse or an ikran. It was deeper, much deeper. You felt them. Their thoughts, their memories, the every ounce of their being. The bond ties you to them—to their soul—for life, connects you to them in a way you’d never be connected to anyone or anything for as long as you lived.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond.

--

You could remember the first time Neteyam brought up the possibility of mating.

The golden son, the next Olo’eykton, the first-born son of Toruk Makto and Neytiri, Neteyam always had big shoes to fill, and it was always something he struggled with in silence. Who was he to talk to about the shade of greatness he grew up in? His father? His mother? His little brother? None of them understood, and none of them saw him.

But you did.

For as long as you could remember, Neteyam had been your closest friend, and you his—outside of his siblings at least. Kiri wasn’t much younger than him, but she had always been closer with Lo’ak than him, and Neteyam had always had more of a protective, fatherly role than a brotherly one with them and Tuk especially.

But you? You held no expectations for him. With you he was just Neteyam—or ’Teyam when he made you laugh hard enough you could barely breathe. You did everything with him. Training, hunting, claiming a banshee. Every step, you were there, and there was no one you felt closer to than him.

You didn’t have a big family like he did, it was only you. But you had him. He was your best friend, your everything, your—

Neteyam was going to be the next Olo’eykton and whoever he took as his mate would be the next Tsahìk, so you knew it wasn’t a decision he took lightly. If his father wasn’t Jake Sully, you were sure he’d have been betrothed to a woman his parents deemed worthy of being the next Olo’eykton’s mate. You didn’t know if Eywa had her eyes on you at the decision not to betroth him because, on one hand, there was a chance he’d take you, but on the other, you knew him choosing another of his own will would break you irreversibly.

Neteyam had shown some interest in the other girls in the village, especially the ones his mother mentioned to him, but you never saw him have more than a few conversations with them, mostly about hunting, which they didn’t seem to appreciate as much as you did.

You didn’t know that they were never the one he wanted. That for him, there had only ever been one.

It was the eve of his iknimaya ceremony, the final step of him becoming taronyu, of becoming a man, that he first brought up the possibility of mating with you. Once he became a man, he could choose a woman.

The thought alone made your chest tight. You couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in your tent before you finally resigned yourself and slipped out. A night walk in the forest would, at the very least, keep your mind occupied.

You should have known Neteyam had the same idea.

Becoming a hunter, becoming a man, becoming one of the People, and earning his place in the clan all weighed heavily on him. He lived in the shadow of his father who had gone from Sky People to one of the People to Toruk Makto to Olo’eykton in a span of a few months. He was only the sixth Toruk Makto since the first songs and Neteyam knew that even if he were to be a great Olo’eykton, he’d never be his father, and it ate at him.

No matter how hard he tried, Neteyam couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind fought his every attempt at sleep. He knew he needed sleep for the day ahead, but he wasn’t granted peace and finally he resigned himself to a walk to clear his mind. At the very least, the night would pass more quickly and bring him into tomorrow.

Neither of you realized the other was close, not at first. Your mind was so consumed by the thought of him that you weren’t looking where you were going and didn’t put the care into your steps like you knew you should. The snap of the twig under your step was secondary to you, but it made Neteyam’s ears twitch.

He wasn’t alone.

A moment later, another twig snapped under your foot and Neteyam let it consume his attention. All he had on him was his knife, but it would have to do, he was the best hunter of his age after all.

He followed your uncaring, twig breaking steps silently with his knife down, unsure of what he was following. But as soon as he caught a flash of blue skin in the dark, he let himself relax a little. When he stepped a little closer to get a clearer view, he sheathed his knife as he let out a soft laugh. He’d know you anywhere.

The sound of his laugh made your ears twitch and you tensed. You’d know that sound anywhere. “Neteyam?” You breathed as you turned around and a moment later, he revealed himself with his hands up and a playful smile on his lips as he said your name back to you.

“It is late,” he told you as he stepped closer, his tail flicking behind him. “You should be asleep.”

“As should you,” you replied and returned his smile. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ah,” he brushed you off with a short wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he told you. “I do not have to hunt tomorrow, just become taronyu.”

Your smile slipped for half a moment before you pushed it back up. “I know,” you replied, hoping your tone didn’t betray you.

His ears straightened as he watched you and he hoped, oh Eywa he hoped, that he wasn’t misinterpreting your hesitation as he stepped closer to you. “Once I become taronyu, I may take a woman.”

You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your eyes so you turned away from him. “I know,” you whispered. “It’s a big day for the clan. There are many fine women to choose from.”

His heart dropped, fearing rejection from the only woman he had ever wanted. “I know,” he said and let his tail brush yours as he stepped around you, forcing you to look at him.

You shivered at the touch but brushed it off as an accidental touch. “Your father is very fond of Miayho, and your mother favours Zia,” you told him softly, unable to meet his eyes.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve already chosen.” His words made your heart drop and you tried to turn away from him again, but he cupped your cheek to stop you. “But this woman must also choose me.”

“She must be lucky,” you whispered, your heart aching.

“She is,” Neteyam smiled. “She is strong and beautiful and a little slow at times, but she is the only one I could ever want.”

“’Teyam,” you breathed, your voice breaking, but his smile never faltered.

“I’m speaking of you,” he told you and softly shook his head. “Tomorrow I am granted the chance to choose a woman, and you are the only woman I have ever wanted. I choose you, if you choose me, too.”

You were quiet as the weight of his words sunk in, but slowly you cupped his cheek, too. “I chose you the moment I saw you,” you replied and rubbed your thumb over the deep blue line that traced the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam’s smile filled your chest with warmth and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Neteyam’s smile softened as he rubbed his nose against yours. He’d mate you right here right now if you let him, but it was not the way, and a day was a short wait compared to the years he had already been waiting.

“So, it is decided, then?” He asked as he pulled back to look at you.

“It is,” you blushed and dipped your head as your ears went back, already itching to reach for your braid. At your words, Neteyam’s shoulders lightened, somewhat anyway. The weight of being the next Olo’eykton and living up to his father still plagued him, but he knew as long as he had you by his side, he’d be alright.

“We should sleep, then,” he told you and bit his lip. “I intent to mate you before Eywa tomorrow.”

Your blush darkened as you smiled. You didn’t dare ask if his mother or father approved of the match, you didn’t care, you just wanted him, needed him. “We should,” you agreed and tilted your chin up. “It is a big day tomorrow.”

Neteyam’s smile widened and he dipped his head. “A very big day,” he agreed and took your hand before he led you back to the village. The sooner you both fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and the sooner you could become one.

“You could stay with me,” you told him as you approached your tent.

There was nothing Neteyam wanted more, but he also knew his father would expect him in his own bed bright and early and he didn’t want to start the big day on the wrong foot. “Tomorrow night,” he replied and dipped his head. “Tonight will be our last night apart.”

You hated when he pulled his hand from yours, but you knew he was right, that it was the way. You had waited years for this, you could wait another night. “Tomorrow,” you nodded.

“Tomorrow,” he echoed you before he stepped back. Still, he watched as you slipped into your tent safe and secure before he made his way back to his own and prayed to Eywa his father hadn’t noticed his absence. Thankfully, he hadn’t, and Neteyam settled into his bed with a smile and warm chest.

Tomorrow he became taronyu.

Tomorrow he became a man.

Tomorrow he gained you. 

His eyelids were heavy and sleep came more easily to him. One moment he was thinking of your beautiful golden eyes, the next he was passed out, dreaming of your smile and the comforting flowery scent that always clung to your hair.

--

The sun woke him bright and early like it always did and he smiled as he stretched out.

Today was the day.

“Are you nervous?” Lo’ak asked him over breakfast and Neteyam rolled his eyes.

“Why would I be nervous?”

Lo’ak’s shit eating grin widened as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “that no woman will want to mate with your ugly face.”

Any other day Neteyam would have told his brother off and shoved him back, but your words were still fresh in his mind—I chose you the moment I saw you—and his ears went back as he dipped his head.

Lo’ak’s smile faltered as he moved closer, his ears perking up before he knocked his shoulder against his brother’s. “Bro,” he said under his breath so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Got something you’d like to share?”

Neteyam knocked his shoulder right back against his brother’s. He was quiet for a moment as he debated whether he should say anything, but Neteyam knew his brother well, better than anyone, and he knew Lo’ak wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled. “I may have already chosen a woman,” he said with a small smile. “And she has chosen me as well. We will be mated before Eywa.”

“Bro,” Lo’ak breathed and put his hand on the back of Neteyam’s neck as he gave him a little shake. “You asked her?” Neteyam didn’t have to say a name for him to know he meant you.

Neteyam dropped his head again as he nodded, “it is decided.”

“I am surprised she settled for your skxawng ass, but I am happy for you, bro,” Lo’ak grinned, and he laughed as Neteyam bared his fangs at him and shook him off.

“Watch who you call skxawng, skxawng,” he replied, making Lo’ak laugh hard enough that their father looked over at them and their ears went back as they quickly went quiet.

Jake watched his sons for a long moment before he stepped over and sat down next to Neteyam and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”

Neteyam smiled as he nodded, “born ready, sir.”

“Good,” Jake smiled and patted his son on the back. “Your mom has the paint, whenever you’re ready.”

Neteyam’s tail flicked behind him. “Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something else who I’d like to do the paint.”

For a moment Jake’s eyebrows raised as he looked at his son before the corner of his lip twitched up as he remembered when Neytiri painted him for his own iknimaya. “Of course,” Jake nodded. “But you have to tell your mother.”

His mother wasn’t exactly happy to give up the chance to paint her first born son ahead of the ceremony, but Neteyam rarely asked for anything and she could see in his eyes that it meant a great deal to him, so she resigned herself and handed the bowls of paint over to him. “I hope you chose well, my son,” Neytiri told him.

“I did,” Neteyam replied with a smile. “Thank you, mother.”

The bowls were full and despite their small size, they felt heavy in his hands as he headed out to find you. Neteyam knew both you and the village like the back of his hand so it was easy for him to find you. you blushed as he met your gaze and he smiled before he lowered his head to you and he sat down across from you.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” You asked him softly, buzzing with anticipation of what was to come.

“I should, yes,” he agreed and sat the bowls of paint down in front of you.

“Neteyam,” you breathed. It was traditionally done by mothers.

“I want you to,” he smiled. “That is, if you want to, too.”

You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “I want to,” you smiled softly and moved the bowls closer to you, the weight of their significance not lost on you as you beckoned him closer. “Now?” You asked softly.

Neteyam nodded as he moved closer. You blushed when he ginned at you shoved his shoulder before dipping your fingers into the white paint. You started with his arm, your touch light as you traced familiar patterns over his skin. Neteyam shivered, both at the coolness of the paint and your touch and it made you blush deepen as you focused on your lines, not wanting to mess any of them up, especially when you felt the weight of his gaze on you.

After his arms, you moved on to his chest and you gave Neteyam a look when the corner of his lip twitched up. “I am well aware you are a mighty warrior, Neteyam,” you told him and pulled your fingers back so you wouldn’t ruin the lines.

“But now you feel that I am a mighty warrior,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes.

You were quiet for a moment as you tried to think of a reply. Slowly, you trailed your fingers down his abdomen and let your lip twitch up when you felt him tense at your touch. “I do,” you hummed and looked up at him. “And soon I will feel all of you.”

You bit your lip as Neteyam’s eyes darkened but you devoted your attention to finishing the lines on his abdomen before you picked up one of the bowls and moved to his back, giggling as Neteyam’s tail kept flicking as you traced the patterns on his skin and once you were done, you hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck and giggled when his ears stood straight up.

“You are a tease, woman,” he breathed as you settled back in front of him to paint his face.

“Am not,” you replied with a smile as you dipped your fingers into the paint again. “Now stay still.” To his benefit, Neteyam was still as he watched you, his tail flicking every now and then as you traced careful lines over his face, finishing with a feather light touch over his lips.

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked him over. “You are ready,” you told him as you sat back on your haunches.

“I am?” He asked and you nodded.

“You are.”

Neteyam knew kissing you would ruin the paint you worked so hard to get perfect, but he still thought about it and it took every ounce of his self control not to kiss you. “Thank you,” he smiled before he stood and your heart fluttered in your chest as you took him in.

Your best friend. Your lover. Your mate.

A man.

You took his hand when he extended it to you and let him lead you down to where the ceremony would take place. To no surprise, his parents, siblings, and grandmother were already there and when you met his mother’s gaze, you get go of his hand. You weren’t mates yet and this was his ceremony. A ceremony for the clan.

At the loss of your hand, Neteyam looked back at you but you gave him a reassuring smile as you encouraged him on with a nod so he returned his gaze to his parents. Slowly the rest of the clan emerged and began to form the circle around him, and you.

“Neteyam,” Jake started as he looked at his son, trying and failing to restrain his smile. “My son. You tamed an ikran and completed your dream hunt. You are one of the People now,” he said before putting his hands on Neteyam’s shoulders just like Eytukan had done to him many years before. Once Jake touched Neteyam, the rest of his family and then the clan followed suit, one by one until everyone was connected as they welcomed Neteyam into the clan as a man.

You smiled at him as the people began to separate and once he could, Neteyam turned and put his hand on your shoulder, making you blush. His parents weren’t oblivious as they watched you, and Jake gave Neytiri a knowing smile as he held his hand out to her. It felt like just yesterday that she had done the same to him and he was happy for his son. He chose well, just like he did.

--

Every time a member of the clan came of age, there was a celebration. It was filled with food and dance and stories and songs; and Neteyam spent the whole night looking at you.

He was seated between his father, the Olo’eykton, and Lo’ak, and you were across from him, much too far for his liking. He could hear the people telling stories, but he wasn’t listening as he focused on you. You were the only thing that mattered to him.

You had put flowers in your hair and you wore a top he didn’t recognize so it had to be new and Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were his everything.

It was only once the sun began to dip in the sky and people returned to their tents that Neteyam was able to steal some much needed alone time with you.

Neteyam washed the paint off and put his newly earned battle belt on by himself, but Jake stuck around with a gut instinct and gave his son a nod before he put his hand on his shoulder. Neteyam didn’t have to tell him for him to know he intended to take a mate, he remembered his own youth well and he could only hope his son found the same happiness he found in Neytiri.

Neteyam nodded back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure, son?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded.

“More sure than I have ever been.”

“Good,” Jake nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

It was Neteyam’s turn to laugh and he shrugged his father’s hand off, dipping his head to his father one final time before he slipped out to find you. He was a man now, and you were his to claim.

Neteyam held his hand out to you and you blushed as you took it and let him guide you toward the Tree of Souls. If you were to be mated, then you were going to do it properly and you would be mated before Eywa.

It was only you and Neteyam before the tree and your heart raced with anticipation. By the time you got before the tree, before Eywa, you were a couple steps ahead of Neteyam and your ears twitched with every step he took to close the distance between you. Your tail flicked as he shifted his weight and it took him way too long to touch you, his hand just barely brushing your back to make you look at him.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly, giving you an out. But you didn’t want an out.

“I want to,” you told him, holding his eyes before you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, your heart racing. This was the moment you had been waiting for your whole life, with the person you had been hoping for.

Neteyam followed your lead and knelt across from you before he pulled his braid over his shoulder. You held his gaze as you did the same, your braid heavy in your hand. You had made the bond with horses and your ikran, but taking a mate was something else entirely. Your heart raced with excitement and anxiety as you gripped the end of your braid and held it up, your tendrils searching for his.

You held Neteyam’s gaze as he gripped the end of his own braid and held it out. You let your eyes drop to your braid as he brought his closer. He paused to give you a chance to pull back, and when you didn’t, he moved his braid closer, letting his tendrils intertwine with yours.

It was unlike anything you had every experienced before.

The air left you lungs and you closed your eyes as you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. His touch felt like electricity as he trailed his hands up your arms. And then you were overcome with warmth and familiarity and comfort. Home, you realized. You felt at home. You pulled back to look at him, your jaw slack and pupils blown and you found Neteyam looking back at you with the same awestruck expression. Warmth and pleasure coursed through your veins and when he cupped your cheek, you leaned into his touch.

And then he kissed you. For as long as you could remember, you dreamt of the touch of your mate, but it was so much better than you could have imagined and you melted into the kiss as you rested your hands on his shoulders and moved closer.

Neteyam’s hands trailed down to your hips and you let him pull you onto his lap, both of you desperate for every touch you could steal. You pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath as you struggled to keep air in your lungs, your pull to Neteyam so strong. Your jaw was slack as you looked at him and you were sure your pupils were as blown as his were.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and rubbed your nose against his, craving his touch.

“I know, my name,” he breathed and rubbed his nose back against yours as he let you feel him through his loin cloth. It pulled a soft moan from your lips which he quickly quieted with another kiss.

“I need you,” he said against your lips and let his hand brush the top of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was, and he was rewarded with you rocking your hips into his.

“I need you, too,” you told him and pulled back so you could run your hand down his strong chest to his newly earned warrior’s belt. It wasn’t something you had ever put on let alone taken off, so Neteyam had to help you rid himself of it so you could once again trail your fingers down his abdomen and down to the top of his loin cloth.

Neteyam’s soft groan had heat pooling between your thighs and you were sure he could feel it. “’Teyam,” you whispered and covered his hand on your hip with your own. His golden eyes were dark as he looked at you and you slowly guided his hand up to your chest, needing him to touch you.

Neteyam had seen your chest more times than he’d care to admit, the necklace and beads provided little coverage, but seeing you and feeling you were two entirely different things. Your skin was warm and soft beneath his touch, but your nipples were hard and when he caught it between his fingers, he was rewarded with a soft moan from you, which he desperately wanted to hear again.

He licked his lips as he brought his hand up to your other breast. His hands dwarfed you, and you moaned and leaned into him as he pinched your nipples, learning exactly what you liked, what you needed.

“’Teyam,” you whined and rocked your hips into his once again. His touch wasn’t enough, you could feel him and you needed him. “My mate,” you whispered and trailed your hands down his back.

“I know,” he nodded. You didn’t have to tell him for him to know. He gave a final tweak to your nipples before trailing his hands down your sides to the band of your loin cloth. He kept his eyes on yours as he undid it and slowly peeled the material away from you. it only made your racing heart more intense as you rested on his lap, and your tail brushed his knees as he looked at you before he laid you back against the soft moss.

You were bare to him, but you didn’t care as he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Neteyam ran his eyes over you before he reached down to untie his own loin cloth, and then there was nothing between you.

“Please, ‘Teyam.”

He nodded and ran his hand up your thigh toward where you needed him most. As soon as his thumb reached the seam of where your thigh met your hip, Neteyam could feel how badly you needed him, your wetness coating your skin, pulling a soft groan from him.

When he finally touched you, his touch was light and you let your eyes close as you moaned softly. He was gentle as he trailed his fingers up your slit to the bud at the top and he was rewarded with a loud gasp when he rubbed your clit. He watched you with careful eyes as he circled the bud with his fingers and felt how you throbbed for him.

The tips of his fingers were rough from his years of hunting, and between the roughness and sureness of his touch, you wouldn’t last long. Your high was building fast and when you opened your eyes and found his familiar golden eyes looking back at you, it sent you over the edge.

“Neteyam,” you moaned as you came, your back arching as you pressed your hips into his hand. Neteyam groaned as you drenched his hand and he kept rubbing your clit through it, loving your blissed out expression. It was only when your moans turned to whines that he trailed his fingers down your slit to your entrance.

“May I?” He asked and you nodded quickly so he pressed his finger into you, moaning at how warm and tight you were. His mate, he thought. His perfect mate.

Once you adjusted to his finger, he added a second, not wanting to hurt you. He felt your every flutter around his fingers and it made his cock ache. “I need you,” he told you, his voice rough from holding himself back.

“Then have me,” you replied and spread your legs wider, desperate for your mate.

“Eywa have mercy,” he whispered and pulled his fingers from you before slotting himself between your thighs. He didn’t have to ask, he could feel your need, and he held your gaze as he guided himself to your entrance.

You gasped as he pressed into you and he rested his forehead against yours until his hips were touching yours. “My mate,” he breathed as you ran your hands down his back, and when you wrapped your legs around his hips, you felt his tail brush your ankle. Neteyam’s breaths were shallow as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, both of you needing a moment to adjust.

You were finally tied together the way you always should have been.

Together.

Connected.

One.

“’Teyam,” you breathed once you had adjusted and you cupped the back of his head.

He knew exactly what you needed and he nodded as he pulled halfway out before thrusting back into you and started a slow rhythm, soaking in every feeling of you. You had never felt so connected to someone and you melted at his touch, unsure of where you ended and he began.

His movements were slow but sure and you were consumed with the feel and smell of him. He filled you in a way you didn’t know you could be filled and you could feel yourself get closer and closer to that high with his every movement.

It wasn’t long until your moans grew louder and you dug your nails into his shoulders as your tail thrashed against the moss. When you came, your veins were filled with warmth, a warmth that only Neteyam could feel as his hips stuttered. The feeling of his mate cumming around him was indescribable and it pushed him ever closer.

He fucked you through your high before he picked his pace up, searching his own high. It wasn’t long before he came, too, burying himself deep inside you as he filled you up. You gasped at the feeling and pulled him closer, needing every piece of your mate you could get.

Neteyam smiled into your neck as you both caught your breath, and he pressed a light kiss to your skin before he pulled back to look at you with a soft smile. “We are mated before Eywa,” he breathed and cupped your jaw.

You leaned into his touch with a soft smile. “We are mated for life,” you replied, making his smile widen.

“My mate, my beautiful mate,” he smiled and rested his forehead against yours as you both soaked each other in.

You stayed with your forehead against his as your highs melted away, and slowly Neteyam pulled out of you, murmuring a soft apology when you whimpered at the loss of him. You could still feel his every breath and heartbeat, just like he could feel yours, and when he reached to break the bond, you shook your head. “Can we stay like this?” You asked softly.

Neteyam dropped his head as he nodded and he gave you a small smile before he kissed you softly. His every touch felt like home and you melted into him. He ran his thumbs over your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes full of love for you before he let himself settle behind you. His chest was warm against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you smiled to yourself as you leaned back against him.

You could feel his breath and his heart and the entirely of his being.

Whole, you realized, you felt whole. Neteyam was your other half, the part you hadn’t realized you were missing. Your everything.

The bond was a beautiful thing.

You smiled as you melted back against him. Your eyelids were heavy and it was easy for sleep to claim you, and when it did, you dreamt of your future with Neteyam—the way you’d grow together and the son he’d give you—and you smiled as you slept, unaware that Eywa had shown Neteyam the same dream.

--

When you woke to the sunlight streaming on your face the next morning, Neteyam was already awake, just soaking in the feeling of you, your braids still conjoined. He smiled when he realized you were awake and guided you onto your back so he could look at you as he rested on his side.

“Good morning, my mate,” he smiled softly.

“Good morning, my mate,” you repeated and reached out to cup his cheek. Neteyam leaned into your touch, making you smile as you ran your thumb over the arch of his cheek.

All he wanted was to stay wrapped up in you forever, but he knew you both had things to do and expectations to meet. “We should head back to the village,” he whispered and you sighed before nodding.

“We should,” you agreed, even if all you wanted was him.

He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before he asked to separate your braids. You didn’t want to, but you nodded and let Neteyam pull his braid from yours. You gasped at the break, feeling colder than you did a moment before, but even without the bond you could feel Neteyam. It was nowhere as strong as when your braids met, but he still lingered in the back of your mind and you knew you lingered in the back of his. You gave him a soft smile as you trailed your hand down his arm and he grinned at you, so in love with you.

It wasn’t hard for both of you to redress, through it did take you a few extra moments to clean your thighs, which made Neteyam smirk as he watched you, both of you taking your time, neither of you wanting the moment to end.

You had left the village as individuals, but now you returned as a mated pair. You held his hand as you let him guide you through the village toward his parents, toward the Olo’eykton.

As the Olo’eykton, it was his duty to know of every newly mated pair, and had it been anyone but his father, you wouldn’t have been so nervous. Sure, it was soon after his iknimaya, but he was still a man. But it was Neteyam’s father and Neteyam was the next Olo’eykton, making you, his mate, the next Tsahìk, and you couldn’t disappoint his family, or the People.

To no surprise, his family was already awake. Village life always started early.

“Neteyam,” Neytiri started when she laid her eyes on her oldest son, but her next words died on her tongue when she saw him holding your hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know. At his mate’s voice, Jake looked over and the corner of his lips twitched up as he saw his eldest son, already sensing his earlier intuition was correct.

“Mother, father,” Neteyam said and dipped his head to his parents, his hand never leaving yours, “I am taronyu now,” he continued. “Which means—”

“You may now choose a woman,” his mother finished for him, thinking back to the night she told Jake the very same words.

“Yes,” he breathed before he glanced back at you with a smile. “And I have.”

“You have?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded as he looked to his father.

“We are mated before Eywa.”

His mother took a sharp breath in, not in disapproval, but out of realization that her eldest son had truly become a man and had left her nest. Jake touched Neytiri’s arm to ground her as he nodded to his son. “We’re happy for you,” he said for the both of them before looking at his own mate, encouraging her to say something.

“We are,” she breathed and stepped forward to cup Neteyam’s cheek. “My son,” she whispered and ran her thumb over the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam smiled at his mother before he nodded and pulled back from her touch, his smile widening as he looked at you and let his tail brush yours. Jake nodded at the interaction before he smiled at you, “welcome to the family.”

Your smile widened before you dipped your head to him. “Thank you, sir.”

“Nah,” Jake waved his hand. “It’s Jake.” He told you, though one day you’d come to call him ‘dad.’

You were welcomed into the Sully family with open arms. Neytiri had her reservations, as would any mother, but Jake adored you. He saw how deeply you cared for Neteyam, and how deeply Neteyam cared for you, and though he’d never admit it, Jake could see him and Neytiri in you two.

Neteyam’s youngest sister, Tuk, adored you and though Neteyam was her best friend, you were a close second. Kiri was happy to have another sister, and one closer in age than Tuk. And Lo’ak…

Lo’ak treated you like you had always been there. He didn’t hesitate to make fun of you like he did for the rest of his siblings, and he certainly didn’t hold back as he made fun of you picking Neteyam for your mate. It always made Neteyam roll his eyes and, more often than not, call his sibling a skxawng, but it made you smile because it meant you were truly part of the family and you loved it.

The bond was beautiful, as was the family you gained with it.

The problem was, nothing stayed perfect forever.

Everything changed the day Jake realized there was one too many stars in the sky.

Twenty years before, Toruk Makto led the clans to victory over the Sky People, all Na’vi knew his story, but the war was over, something of the past, something that had come and gone before either you or Neteyam were born—or it was supposed to be anyway.

The Second War against the Sky People was more intense than you could have ever imagined, with the guns and the fire and the relocation and the devastation and the death—so many deaths.

A very capable hunter, Neteyam was always involved in the war effort. A spotter. He tried to reassure you that it was the safest role he could have, that he wasn’t on the ground on the front lines, but it didn’t make you feel any better. There was no “safe” in a war. And you had seen too many of your people die.

As the mate of the next Olo’eykton, you could be the next Tsahìk, so Mo’at had taken you under her win, teaching you so you could one day take her place. So, unlike your mate, his parents and his brother, your role in the war wasn’t out there but back at home as you worked to heal the wounded—and make comfortable those who would be welcomed into Eywa’s arms.

You knew your role was important, but it was hard. It was hard to see the devastation and the death, and it was hard knowing your mate was out there and could just as easily be the next person who came through the tent flap in need of help.

You could never breathe deeply, let alone eat or drink, until he was home safe.

And the day he came back home bruised and bloodied, you dropped your tray of herbs before you rushed to him, even as Jake scolded him and Lo’ak.

“I’m fine,” he told you softly, but the blood on your hand said otherwise.

“You are bleeding, he is bleeding,” you said as you turned to Jake after he finished his little speech. “I am taking him to Mo’at.” Neytiri backed you up, also worried for her son, so Jake dismissed him and you heard Neytiri arguing with him as you led Neteyam toward the healing tent, your hand on his back.

“I’m fine, truly,” he repeated once you two were out of earshot of his parents.

“You are hurt,” you replied softly and stopped to look at him, taking his hand in yours. “My heart aches seeing you hurt.”

Neteyam gave you a soft smile and rested his forehead against yours. “I am fine, my mate,” he said before he kissed you. “I feel no pain when I am with you.”

His words made your heart flutter and you retuned his smile. “You still require healing,” you replied and led him to Mo’at’s tent where Kiri was helping her grandmother.

You knew you should help Mo’at, but you couldn’t find it in you to leave your mate’s side. Kiri knew what to do, she was even better than you were, and you were more than happy to let her assist Mo’at while you held Neteyam’s hand, the end of your tail curled around his ankle.

Your heart ached every time he winced at the sting of the antiseptic and you squeezed his hand as you watched Mo’at and Kiri. His wound looked worse than it was, and you let out a relieved breath as they finished up.

“See?” Neteyam smiled weakly. “I’m okay.” You shook your head but still thanked Eywa that your mate was alright.

Still, you struggled to find sleep that night, your mind consumed with the what ifs of your mate’s injury. It would be too easy for his injury to be worse, for him to be taken from you. You had seen too many lose their mates the last year and had their blood curling screams as their hearts shattered beyond repair permanently imprinted in your memory.

To lose a mate was a fate worse than death, and you knew you’d never survive it.

Neteyam healed quickly from his wounds and Lo’ak was grounded for his recklessness. Neteyam was back on his ikran long before Lo’ak was, and without his ikran, without being involved in the war, Lo’ak somehow managed to create even more trouble as he convinced his siblings to return to the old shack.

It was a harmless intention born out of boredom and frustration, but the results were life altering.

It was Avatars. New Avatars. In tactical gear. They managed to get Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk and Spider under their knives and you didn’t want to think of what could have happened if not for Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam. But Jake knew they’d never stop hunting them, hunting his family. They may have won the battle, but the war still raged.

Everything changed after that, after they took Spider.

Jake and Neytiri knew the People would never be safe as long as they stayed with them, so they had to leave.

The words were like stones in Neteyam’s heart as he told you his family was planning to leave.

The Forest was your home, the only place you ever knew, the only place you ever wanted to know. The Forest was where you were born, where you grew up, where you fell in love with Neteyam, where you were supposed to raise your children.

Neteyam could sense your hesitation. “My father said it was for the best. He said that the Sky People are hunting us and not the People, so if we leave, the People will be safe,” he explained as he took your hand in his and brushed his tail against yours. “But I will stay with you if you ask me, my mate.” He would follow you to the end of the world if you asked.

You tightened your lips as you thought, but it was an easy decision. Just a painful one. “I go where you go,” you told him softly and squeezed his hand. “You are my home and my future, Neteyam.”

In hindsight, you really wished you had asked him to stay.

You packed your things onto your ikran and your heart ached as you said your goodbyes, but Neteyam was your mate. You couldn’t be without him.

Neteyam flew by your side as you left the Forest and even without touching him, you felt his comfort and you gave him a soft smile. As long as you were together, you’d be alright.

In the end, you found sanctuary with the Metkayina, the reef people.

It was hard to learn their ways, it was hard leaning the way of the water when the Forest was all you knew, but what you didn’t expect was how hard it was to see Neteyam lose his battle belt. His whole life he had been working toward it, working to become taronyu and earn his place among the People, and he barely had it a year before it was taken from him; before his symbol of manhood was taken from him.

Neteyam may have been taronyu, a man, among the Omatikaya, but you were Metkayina now and the iknimaya of the Omatikaya meant nothing here. He had to learn the way of the water and earn his place among the Metkayina before he’d be seen as a man.

Like Jake, Neteyam’s ears dropped as his belt was taken away and you did your best to steel your shoulders like Neytiri. You both had to be strong for your mates.

None of you were seen as adults among the Metkayina, but rather as children. It frustrated some more than others, like you and Neytiri. Neteyam took after his father and tried to take the transition in stride and did what he could to fit in.

And if the relocation and the helpless feeling wasn’t enough, you were sick a few times after the transition. Initially, you blamed it on the dietary shift. Sure, fish had been a part of your diet before, but it was freshwater fish and something you only had on occasion rather than every meal of every day. It was easy to blame your sickness on the fish, you just didn’t realize that none of the others were getting sick. Not until you were shucking oysters with Ronal at least.

Ronal was the Tsahìk of the Metkayina. She saw all and she was especially hesitant toward you and Neytiri. Both you and Neytiri were being trained to become the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, so it was natural for you both to resume your training with Ronal, she just wasn’t overly fond of the idea.

Ronal let it go the first few times you gagged at the smell of the oysters before she sighed. “Have you mated recently?” She asked without looking at you.

Your eyes bugged at the question. “Why do you ask?” You replied and stopped shucking to look over at her.

“Because I am wondering if you are with child,” Ronal replied, and the knife slipped from your hand.

“What?” You asked breathlessly.

“With child,” she repeated simply. She had had two children of her own with a third on the way, and she had helped to deliver more babes than she could count. She knew the signs well and given the amount of time she had been spending with you over the last couple weeks, she could see them in you. When you didn’t answer, Ronal looked over at you, “it is a simple question. Have you mated recently?”

Your ears went back as you blushed and nodded. Ronal hummed and put the oyster she was holding and her knife down before she stood and beckoned you up. She hummed as she looked you over before she touched your forehead and then your stomach.

“Food aversion?” She asked and you nodded.

“Fatigue?” You nodded again.

“Have you bled?” You thought about it for a moment before you ears went back further. You had been so focused on fitting in and your mate you hadn’t realized.

Ronal hummed and stepped back. “I do believe you are with child,” she said before she returned to her oysters like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis—again.

Your hands shook as you gently touched your stomach.

Pregnant.

You—

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t be, you certainly found comfort in your mate’s arms many, many times since the relocation. But pregnant? Now? Could there be a worse time?

Slowly, you pulled your hands back and took a deep breath to clear your mind and ground yourself before you picked your knife back up and reached for another oyster.

“There are other things to do,” Ronal told you. “If the small bothers you, you will be slow. Tsireya will provide you with a different task to do.” You wanted to take her up on the offer, but you could hear Jake’s voice in your head telling you not to cause trouble and pull your weight, so you shook your head.

“I will be fine.”

She hummed but wasn’t surprised when you gagged again a moment later and she cast a look in your direction. You sighed as you nodded and moved your basket of unshucked oysters over to her, “I will find Tsireya.” If she smiled as you walked away, well, no one had to know.

Everyone was still so focused on fitting in and you could see the way looking after Lo’ak and keeping him out of trouble weighed on Neteyam, so you kept the news to yourself. If you told him, he’d only worry about you more than he already did and you didn’t want that.

And, well, it was no surprise that Ronal wasn’t fond of you. Forest People. Outcast. Alien. But knowing you were with child made Ronal soften. She didn’t look at you with the same animosity she did the others, and every time she saw you, she was sure to ask how you were doing. The Sullys were smart people, and it didn’t take Neytiri long to put two and two together and realize something was up with you, but she kept her suspicions to herself as she kept a careful eye on you.

You had always been the more affectionate one in your relationship with Neteyam, always touching him or seeking to touch him, but now you were reserved. At first, Neytiri thought you two were fighting, but Neteyam assured her you weren’t, that it was just the move and the swimming was exhausting you and the fish wasn’t agreeing with you, which was true—it just wasn’t the whole truth.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. You did, you just didn’t want to add to his already full plate, and then the longer you kept it a secret the harder it was to tell him. Between Kiri’s seizure and Norm coming and Lo’ak and Neteyam’s fight with Ao’nung and Payakan and the Tulkun, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him.

It was only after yet another dinner you couldn’t keep down that the truth finally came to light.

“You are unwell,” Neteyam said as he followed you toward your hut. It was the third time this week and he was tired of you constantly brushing it, and him, off.

“I’m fine, Neteyam,” you sighed. “It’s just—”

“The move? The fish?” He repeated your words back to you. “No, I don’t believe you. Have you spoken to Ronal? She is Tsahìk and she could help you.”

You hesitated before you turned back to look at him with tight lips before you sighed and took his hand. He gave you a concerned look as you guided him down to the beach where you could have some privacy. “Ronal can’t help me,” you said as you turned to face and gently fiddled with his fingers. “Because I am not sick.”

“It is just us, my mate, you never need lie to me,” he replied softly and used his free hand to cup your cheek.

“I’m not lying, ‘Teyam,” you breathed and covered his hand with yours before you guided it down to your stomach. “I’m not sick, I’m with child.”

Neteyam froze as he let your words sink in before he softened. “You are with child?” He whispered and stepped closer to you.

You nodded, “it’s horrible timing, but—”

“But nothing,” he smiled. “This is amazing news! We’re having a baby—the first of many I hope.” You were taken by surprise when he picked you up and spun you around, completely elated.

You laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you patted him. “Enough, ‘Teyam, I’ll be sick again.”

“Right, sorry, my love,” he replied and sat you down, his smile never wavering as he touched your stomach again. “I’m just really happy.”

“I am, too,” you said softly and covered his hand before you kissed him softly. He cupped the back of your head to keep you close, but you both couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled back and rested your hand on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting beat of his heart.

Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer by the small of your back before he rested his forehead against yours. “I would take you here and now on the beach if you let me, my mate,” he hummed.

“Anyone could see, including your parents,” you laughed.

“Then let them see,” he hummed and when he tried to kiss you again, you shoved him back, making him laugh loudly before he pulled you close again, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was.

“Once the sickness passes,” you told him and guided his hand back up to your back.

Neteyam softened and he nodded, “of course, my mate. May I at least hold you tonight?”

“I’d expect nothing else,” you smiled and let him lead you back toward your hut. Once Neteyam closed the flap, you rid yourself of your top—another sign of your growing baby was how swollen and sensitive your breasts had become and the weight of the beads irritated you in a way they never had before.

Neteyam groaned low in his throat as he knelt on the bed, “are you sure you don’t want me to pleasure you, my mate?” He asked softly.

“Maybe tomorrow,” you laughed and pulled him down next to you and you laughed when his hand managed to find your breast after he settled behind you. He didn’t try to do more than hold your breast while his other hand rested on your stomach, so you let him as you pressed yourself back against him.

The reef wasn’t the Forest, but it was nice and welcoming and you could see you two raising your children along the blue water and sandy beaches. Neteyam’s tail curled around your ankle and you smiled as you tried to press yourself closer to him. You could feel him smile into your neck and it was easy to fall asleep.

He was your everything.

This family was your everything.

And if you knew what would happen next, you would have fought sleep to soak in the feeling of his arms one last time. You would have memorized the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. You would have traced every dark line that decorated his body. You would have held him a little longer.

You wouldn’t have taken the moment for granted, expecting thousands more in the coming years.

But you didn’t know what would happen so you didn’t, and the ache of regret would eat at you for the rest of your days.

The bond… it’s a beautiful thing.

Until it isn’t.

--

The village was devastated by the hunting of the Tulkun by the Sky People. They were their spirit brothers and sisters, and Jake didn’t have to say it for you to know it happened because you were here. They weren’t hunting the Tulkun, they were hunting you. When Jake took the tracker from Neteyam, you took his hand and he tried to reassure you as he squeezed your hand.

“You tell the Tulkun if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death.”

Jake’s words hung heavy in the air. Neteyam gave you a look that told you everything would be okay, but your stomach still twisted. You came to the Metkayina to hide; to keep your people safe. You promised them you were done with war, but the war still followed you—and at the cost of their spirit siblings.

And because nothing ever came easy, Lo’ak was determined to warn Payakan himself. Neteyam followed Lo’ak, knowing his brother better than anyone and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Lo’ak gathering a saddle for an ilu.

He shook his head, a frustrated smile on his lips, “no way, you’re not going, baby brother.”

Lo’ak wasn’t having any of it. “I have to warn Payakan,” he told his brother firmly.

“No. You have to keep your skxawng ass here,” Neteyam replied, gritting his teeth. For once, could he just listen to him.

But Lo’ak never did. “He’s outcast. There’s no one to warn him but me.”

Neteyam shook his head as he clenched his fist. “Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said exasperated as he touched the top of Lo’ak’s’ head, but Lo’ak quickly shoved him off as his eyes hardened.

“No. You mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you, a perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you, okay? I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.” Neteyam clenched his jaw as he stepped back, his brother’s words cutting him like a knife. If he only knew the weight of his words, but he didn’t and he never would as Neteyam swallowed back the bitter words threatening to spill out and he steeled himself as stepped closer to his brother.

“Oh, he’s your brother? No, I’m your brother,” his voice was hard as he stared Lo’ak down, but Lo’ak didn’t concede and he scoffed before he dove in the water, heading for Payakan and Neteyam knew he had to go after him.

“Neteyam!” You called as you came up behind him and he shook his head.

“He’s going to Payakan,” he told you and you were hot on his heels as he summoned his ilu, as were Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Ao’nung and Rotxo. But when you went to summon your own ilu, Neteyam put his hand on your stomach to keep you back. “I need you here where you’re safe,” he told you but you shook his head.

“I’m going, Neteyam.” He opened his mouth to argue, but your look silenced him. Wherever your mate went, you would follow.

His tail flicked as he clenched his jaw before he nodded. “With me then,” he said before he dove into the water and you followed his lead. You quickly settled behind him on his ilu and wrapped your hand around his waist while he held onto the reigns of the ilu with one hand, his other hand reaching back to hold your thigh, keeping you against him as he followed after Lo’ak to Payakan.

By the time you got to Payakan, Lo’ak was struggling against the red tracker buried in Payakan’s back while the others tried to help. You and Neteyam were quick to jump on and help, but the tracker was in deep and you realized quickly that the demon ship was rapidly approaching.

“Call dad,” Neteyam said to Lo’ak. “Just do it.”

He didn’t want to, he knew the trouble he’d be in, so he hesitated before he called Jake. Lo’ak’s words were muffled as you all focused on the tracker. Your heart raced as you kept glancing between it and the demon ship. “Come on, come on, come on,” you said as Neteyam tossed a rope up to Ao’nung who wrapped one end around the tracker while Neteyam wrapped the other end around the reigns of his ilu.

“Please, Eywa, please,” you whispered as you pulled and pulled and finally the tracker gave, and you all fell at the release of tension. Neteyam was quick to gather the tracker as Lo’ak told Payakan to go.

“Go, I’ll draw them away,” Neteyam told you, making your blood go cold. When you opened your mouth to argue, Neteyam shook his head. They were after the tracker and Neteyam couldn’t have it anywhere near you, your baby, or his siblings. “Take Tuk, I’ll see you after.”

You had no choice but to nod and you gathered Tuk and Kiri on Kiri’s ilu and led them into the seaweed for cover, but the submarines followed you. Your mind raced as quickly as your heart as your ilu weaved between plants and leaves, desperate for any cover, but there wasn’t any to be had. There was too many of them.

The submarines swarmed you, forcing you off the ilu and you kept your eyes on Tuk as you swam toward an air pocket, Lo’ak and Tsireya right behind you while Kiri ended up with Ao’nung and Rotxo. “They’re coming,” Tsireya said and you were all quick to dive back under, but it was useless. The submarines could move faster than you could swim.

It was over when they launched the net at you. You didn’t realize it was coming until it was too late, the net already surrounding you and the air left your lungs as you began to panic. Lo’ak managed to escape before it caught him and he pulled at the net trying to rescue you, Tuk and Tsireya, but it was no use. The net scooped you up and dropped you on board the demon ship. Your vision swam as you tried to catch your breath, your lungs burning, and before you knew it, you were bound to the demon ship’s rail.

You watched as Tuk, Tsireya and Lo’ak struggled against the bonds but you knew it pointless. You were stuck. You were stuck and your mate was somewhere out there. You felt useless as the Metkayina attacked the demon ship. When you came and begged for sanctuary, you had promised them there would be no more war and now the war was here and they’d die because of your family.

You looked Tuk and your heart sank at the terror in her eyes, and you were so focused on Tuk you didn’t notice Payakan until he was on top of you, desperate to save Lo’ak.

All hell broke loose after that.

“Don’t watch,” you told Tuk. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Neteyam had always been her favourite family member, but you were a close second given you were his mate. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she nodded. “Just keep your eyes on me, Tuk,” you repeated.

It was only when Neteyam jumped on board that you were finally able to take a deep breath. A smile played on his lips as he cut your bounds, then Tuk’s, then Tsireya’s before he reached his brother and cut him free. “Who’s the might warrior? Come on, say it,” he grinned as he touched Lo’ak’s head before he turned back to you.

“Bro,” Lo’ak smiled and reached for a gun while Neteyam had his back to him.

“Go, get out of here. Take Tuk. Go,” Neteyam said to you.

“Neteyam—” you tried but he shook his head.

“Go,” he repeated, begging you to listen to him, and you clenched your jaw as you tried to lead Tuk away, and Neteyam kept his eyes on you, desperate to make sure you and Tuk were safe. But when he heard the familiar click of a gun, he turned back to his brother.

“We have to go,” he said but Lo’ak shook his head.

“He has Spider. Come on, bro, we can’t lose him,” Lo’ak said and headed into the ship.

Neteyam protested under his breath before he followed after his brother. Lo’ak always had to make things difficult.

At the same time, they managed to grab Kiri. Tuk’s scream for her sister would forever be imprinted in your memory, but you had to get her to safety. Jake and Neytiri would get Kiri.

Except, Tuk fought your hold on her before she slipped free and headed back for the ship. “Sullys stick together,” she said and you grumbled under your breath before you abandoned your ilu and headed after her, needing to keep her safe.

“This isn’t a good idea, Tuk,” you whisper shouted at her, but she ignored you, desperate to save Kiri, and you were sure to be quiet as you followed her.

“Kiri!” She called when she saw her sister, slipping under the bars as you both tried to break Kiri’s bonds, but it was no use and an Avatar was quick to bind Tuk to the rail next to Kiri before shoving you back into the water. Your heart sank and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and fight and rescue them and keep them safe, but when the bullets hit the water, you knew it wasn’t an option and you called to a nearby ilu and quickly jumped on. You’d have to find another way to rescue them and you circled the water looking for any sign of your mate and Lo’ak.

You were granted a moment of relief when you saw Tsireya, but it was short lived as you realized she was alone and your heart sank. Tsireya pulled her ilu up beside yours and pursed her lips as she shook her head. Neteyam and Lo’ak had to still be on board.

Your heart twisted before a flash of cold went through your body and you gasped for breath under the water, the air bubbling around you as Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam jumped into the water above you, bullets still raining around you.

No.

No.

You knew it. Before he could even say it, you knew, the freezing cold blooming in your chest that left you gasping for air as you resurfaced in the water.

“That was insane, cous,” the voice was muffled in your ears.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and reached out to him.

“You skxawng, I’ve been shot.”

Panic coursed through your veins and you swore you didn’t breathe as you wrapped your arm around him to keep his head above the water, the normally clear water stained red with his blood. Too much blood.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” you said to both him and yourself, even as the ice in your chest melted to a sharp ache that shot down your arm and Neteyam’s expression twisted in pain.

The panic in Lo’ak’s eyes mirrored your own as he helped you get Neteyam onto the ilu before he pulled you on too. “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, the best of his age, but he was weak in his arms.

“They have Kiri and Tuk,” Tsireya tried to tell him, but the words never really processed for him.

“We can’t go back,” he replied and raced for the rocks, Tsireya and Spider holding on to the side if the ilu’s reigns. You kept your hand pressed against Neteyam’s chest as you moved through the water and his hand gripped your wrist tightly, needing to hold on to you, needing to anchor himself to you.

It only took a minute to get to the rocks, but it felt like hours. Lo’ak helped you carry Neteyam as he gritted his teeth in pain. Your chest felt tighter with every passing second and you didn’t know if it was your own anxiety, or your mate slipping through your fingers.

Your hands shook as you moved around him and your ears started to ring as you rolled him onto his side. The shot was clean through.

“It’s almost always better for the bullet to be clean through.” You could hear Jake’s voice in your head and you laid him back and put pressure on his chest as you begged Eywa to help you.

It was almost always better.

Almost.

Neteyam’s hands were coated in his own blood and he looked up at you with wide, terrified eyes before he grasped your bicep, his grip nowhere near as strong as it was when he held your wrist.

“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you told him, willing your voice not to shake so you could be strong for your mate. He breathed your name before he scrunched his face up like he was trying to get away from the pain. “You’re going to be okay,” you repeated before pulling your eyes away from his as Jake and Neytiri settled around you.

“No, no, no,” Jake whispered as he perched across from you.

“Clean through,” you told him before he could ask, your ears back and hands red with Neteyam’s blood, and your heart dropped at the way his ears went back. “No,” you whispered, unable to muster your voice any louder before you looked back at your mate. He had to be okay.

He had to.  

“You’ll be okay,” Neteyam told you as he struggled to force air into his lungs.

The ache in your chest began to ease to a fuzzy feeling and you shook your head. “No, no, Neteyam.” You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t survive it.

“You’ll both be okay,” he breathed, his voice softer than a whisper as he dropped his hand to your stomach.

“I see you; I love you,” you told him, desperately trying not to cry and you pulled one of your hands from his chest to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the dark line that decorated the arch of his cheek.

“I know, I—”

Neteyam never finished his sentence and his hand dropped from your stomach, leaving a bloody handprint in its wake.

You felt the moment he died.

The warmth, the comfort, the unmistakable feeling of him, fizzled out, replaced instead with an unshakeable feeling of emptiness.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You were supposed to spend your life with him.

It was supposed to be you and him.

You and him.

You were lightheaded as you settled back on your haunches, your hands red with his blood and Lo’ak caught you as you swayed.

Numb.

The only way to describe the feeling was numb, like he had taken your soul with him when he died, leaving nothing but an empty shell in his wake.

And maybe he had.

The bond is beautiful, that’s what they tell you. But they never tell you of the anguish that comes with it.

You could separate your life into before Neteyam and after Neteyam. The before wasn’t important, it didn’t matter, because Neteyam was your world. He was your everything, your world spun on an axis of you and him. The People say you’re born twice, once when you are born and then again when you find your place among the people, and you were born again the day Neteyam chose you. And now all that was left of your mate was his bloody handprint and the world had the audacity to keep on spinning.

The ringing in your ears drowned out Neytiri’s blood curling scream for her first-born son, and you slouched into Lo’ak as you kept your eyes on Neteyam’s. His beautiful, golden, lifeless eyes.

You didn’t hear Jake ask Lo’ak where his sisters were. You didn’t hear Tsireya tell him they were on the ship. You didn’t hear Spider tell him to follow him. And you certainly didn’t hear Jake tell Lo’ak to stay and that he had done enough. You didn’t hear any of it as you kept looking at your mate, unable to pull your eyes away, no matter how painful it was.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You only heard Lo’ak tell Tsireya he was going because he pulled back from you, jostling you enough to pull you from your trance to steady yourself. “Lo’ak, no,” she replied desperately, but there was no stopping him as he dove back into the water, leaving you alone with her and your mate’s dead body.

You didn’t know how long you two sat there in the silence, it could have been seconds or minutes or hours, before Tsireya broke it. “We should wash your hands,” she said softly.

You curled your hands into fists. You didn’t want to. Washing the blood off meant losing the only tangible part of your mate you had left. But you knew she was right, so you nodded and you moved on autopilot as she led you to the edge of the water. Your gaze was blank as she washed Neteyam’s blood off your hands, but you drew the line when she reached for your stomach.

“No,” you said sharply and gripped her wrist before she could touch you. Her ears went back as she nodded before she took your hand in hers as you sat back on the rock.  

You felt both empty and heavy at the same time as you sat there before Tsireya found her voice again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure of what else to say.

Your ears went back as you nodded, not trusting your voice. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you looked over at her. “You and Lo’ak deserve better,” you whispered and touched your stomach, desperate to remind yourself of something worth living for.

Her ears went back even further as her shoulders dropped, but she followed your hand with her eyes. “He—” she started before she stopped herself. “Are you?” She asked instead.

You nodded again before you looked over at her with tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without him.”

Her shoulders dropped as her ears went back again. She couldn’t imagine what you were feeling. “You won’t do this alone,” she told you softly. “You have the village behind you.”

You knew she only meant to comfort you, but her words only reminded you that Neteyam would never meet his child. “But I need him,” you whispered before you pulled your hand from her and pushed yourself away from the water’s edge.

Your heart broke all over again as you looked at your mate, laying there lifelessly, blood staining his beautiful blue skin. His eyes were still open as they stared at the sky above—at nothing. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you looked at him before you reached out and softly closed his eyes. He’d look like he was sleeping, if not for all the blood.

But despite all the blood, you laid down next to him and gently put your head on his chest as you curled into him, your tail wrapping around his ankle.

His chest was silent and still and you wept into him, begging Eywa to give him back.

But she didn’t.

His chest never rose, his heart never beat, his skin never warmed, and his eys never opened.

He was gone.

Your beautiful mate was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back.

--

The funeral was harder than you expected, having to say goodbye to his body as you, Jake and Neytiri lowered his body down to the Cove of the Ancestors. You knew that he was gone, that your mate was gone, that it was just a shell of his being, but you still wept, your tears burning your eyes more than the salt ever did.

Your lungs burnt as the air left you as you watched as the cove took his body, wrapping around him as it slowly consumed him, and just like that, he was gone, a piece of the ocean.

The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.

The first thing anyone heard when you resurfaced was your sob and you let Neytiri hug you as you sobbed into her shoulder. “My child,” she whispered as she held you close.

“It’s not fair,” you managed to get out between sobs.

“I know,” she whispered, her heart just as broken as yours.

Eywa holds all her children in her heart, but all you wanted was to hold him in your arms.

--

And if you thought the funeral was hard, visiting the Spirit Tree was even harder. Jake and Neytiri had gone soon after the funeral but took you days to get the courage to visit, to visit Neteyam.

Your tears disappeared into the salt water as you held your braid in your hand. Your heart ached in your chest, but slowly you let your tendrils connect with the Spirit Tree.

At first, all you felt was warmth as white consumed your vision, but then you were filled with the familiar view of the Forest, of your home. You smiled to yourself as you looked around, and just like that, Neteyam slipped out from between the trees, his battle belt and ikran eyewear on and your eyes watered as you looked at him, every bit the man you loved.

“Neteyam?” You asked and he smiled as he came around you, his tail wrapping around yours in a way he knew comforted you.

“Why are you crying, my mate?” He asked concerned he reached out to cup your jaw.

“I’m just happy to see you,” you told him breathlessly and you committed his smile to memory.

“I’m happy to see you, too, my mate,” he replied and you trailed your eyes over every mark on his body as your heart wept.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

Neteyam was your everything, your best friend, your lover, your mate, the father of your child.

From the moment his braid meant yours, you felt him. You felt him in a way no one else could and no one else would. You felt his being. And too soon you had felt him go.

Memories of you two as children, growing up, becoming teenagers, and falling in love, flashed before your eyes and you took water into your lungs as you sobbed, forcing yourself to pull back from the spirit tree and returned to the surface, one hand treading water as you held your stomach with the other.

A boy, you thought suddenly, the Tsahìk abilities you had been training for finally showing themselves. You were having a boy.

The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced, the beginning and end of everything, of all that you are.

#neteyam #neteyam imagine #neteyam x reader #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #avatar twow spoilers #avatar spoilers #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water imagine #avatar twow imagine #avatar smut #avatar the way of water smut #avatar twow smut #neteyam smut #mine #i really dont know if posting this was a good idea but umm yeah throwing this into the abyss #if this flops i might just delete it lmao

[soulofapatrick]

I Know Who You Are - Raphael Santiago x female reader

Summary: Simon manages to sneak Raphael into the institute for you

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: none really

Notes: I'm falling into a shadowhunters phase oof

Y/N’s POV

As I collapse onto my bed in the Institute, the weight of the day’s revelations presses down on me like a leaden cloak, suffocating and relentless. Tears stream down my cheeks,  tracing paths of anguish as the truth echoes relentlessly in my mind, a discordant melody of disbelief and confusion. 

Carstairs. Brother Zachariah. My father. 

The words, once distant whispers of a past shrouded in mystery, now thunder through my consciousness with the force of a revelation. I clutch at the sheets beneath me, seeking solace in their solidarity as my world trembles on its axis. 

Outside my door, Simon’s voice calls out, a lifeline in the storm of emotions, “Open the door Y/N, please let me in.” 

The plea in Simon's voice tugs at my heartstrings, a poignant reminder of the bond that binds us together as parabatai. With a heavy sigh, I push myself upright, the weight of guilt settling like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach. Simon knows me better than anyone, his empathy a double-edged sword that cuts through the facade I so desperately cling to.

As Simon’s sigh resonates through the room, a pang of guilt tightens my chest. I can sense his frustration and hurt, his desire to help me, but also his understanding that sometimes, despite our bond, there are wounds too deep for even a parabatai to heal. With a heavy heart, I listen ass his footsteps retreat down the corridor, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts. 

Alone in the quiet of my room, I succumb to the weight of my emotions, allowing the tears to flow freely as I sink back onto the bed again. The darkness presses in around me, a suffocating shroud that threatens to consume me whole. Despite my best efforts to push them away, memories of the day's revelations dance behind my closed eyelids, taunting me with their impossible truth. The image of Brother Zachariah, his face a mask of sorrow and regret as he revealed the truth of my lineage, burns bright against the canvas of my mind.

But amidst the chaos of my thoughts, exhaustion creeps in like a thief in the night, stealing away the last vestiges of my resistance. As my eyelids grow heavy and my breathing slows, I surrender to the embrace of sleep, seeking refuge in its comforting embrace. In the quiet of my dreams, the pain and confusion of the day melt away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility. For a fleeting moment, I am weightless, free from the burdens that weigh me down in the waking world.

I must have fallen into a fitful sleep as I wake with a start, a cold hand caressing my hair and soft words being whispered. I sit up with a shout of surprise, my heart pounding in my chest as I register the unexpected presence of Raphael. His dark eyes, pools of shadow in the dimly lit room, search my face with a mixture of concern and understanding. 

“Raphael?” I whisper, my voice barely a breath against the backdrop of the night, “Where are you doing here?” 

He offers me a small, reassuring smile before scooting up the bed to sit beside me, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of emotions, “Seems Simon has a way with blondie.” He murmurs, his voice a soothing murmur against the silence of the room, “I thought you could use the company.” 

His words catch me off guard, a glimmer of gratitude flickering to life amidst the turmoil of my thoughts. Despite our differences and the tensions that often simmer between our worlds, Raphael has always had a knack for offering unexpected kindness in moments of need. 

“Thank you,” I whisper, the words barely audible above the steady rhythm of my heartbeat, “I… I appreciate it.” 

Raphael’s gaze softens, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken bond that binds us together in this moment of vulnerability. I turn my head to study Raphael, the subtle play of shadows dancing across his angular face in the dim light of the room. There’s a quiet strength in the set of his jaw, a sense of resolve in the depths of his dark eyes that draws me in despite my best efforts to resist. 

Raphael’s physical presence is a study in contrasts, a blend of strength and vulnerability that captivates me despite my attempts to keep my emotions in check. His jeans fit him snugly, accentuating the lean lines of his frame, while his T-shirt hugs his torso in all the right places, hinting at the toned muscles beneath. With each movement, the fabric stretches and shifts, offering tantalising glimpses of the chiseled abs that lie beneath.

His jacket hangs casually on the back of the chair across the room, a stark contrast to the precision with which he carries himself. It’s a testament to his effortless confidence, a reminder that even in the face of uncertainty, Raphael remains steadfast and composed. 

His pale skin seems to glow in the soft light of the room, a stark contrast to the darkness that surrounds us. There's a vitality to him, a vibrancy that belies the fact that his heart no longer beats in his chest. Despite the absence of a pulse, he exudes an aura of quiet intensity, a magnetic presence that draws me in with an irresistible pull. 

His black hair is a little messier than usual, strands falling across his forehead in a disheveled cascade that only serves to enhance his rugged appeal. There's a rawness to him, a rawness that speaks to the depth of his emotions and the complexity of his character.

In this moment, bathed in the soft glow of dawn, I find myself acutely aware of the warmth of his presence beside me, the steady rhythm of his breath, despite him not needing to breathe, a comforting cadence in the stillness of the room. And as I take in the sight of him, something shifts within me, a subtle realignment of my emotions that leaves me reeling in its wake.

Gone is the ache of my shattered illusions, replaced instead by a longing, a hearing for the vampire sitting next to me with a small, enigmatic smile playing on his pale and oh so kissable lips. It’s a realisation that catches me off guard, this sudden surge of attraction that pulses through me like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. 

But amidst the chaos of my thoughts, one thing remains clear: there’s something undeniably magnetic about Raphael, something that draws me to him in a way I can’t quite explain And as I meet his gaze, a silent understanding passes between us, an unspoken acknowledgment of the tangled web of emotions that binds us together in this moment of vulnerability.

With a trembling breath, I reach out to brush a stray lock of hair from his face, the touch of my fingertips against his cold skin sends a shiver down my spine. And as our eyes meet, locked in a silent exchange of longing and desire, I know that this is the moment that can make or break this weird bond. 

As I cup Raphael’s cheek in the palm of my hand, feeling the coolness of his skin beneath my fingertips, a rush of anticipation courses through me, singing with the raw intensity of our shared desire. His dark eyes seem to seeping in hue as I brush my thumb across his plump bottom lip, a silent invitation hanging heavy in the air between us. 

“If you do this…” He doesn’t finish the warning, both of us knowing, sending a shiver down my spine, a potent mixture of fear and longing swirling within me. There’s a finality to his words, a recognition of the irreversible shift that this moment represents. But despite the uncertainty that tugs at the edges of my resolve, I know that I can’t ignore the pull of the connection that binds us together. 

With a trembling breath, I lean forward, closing the distance between us until our lips are mere inches apart. The air crackles with tension, electric and charged with the promise of what’s to come. 

And then, with a boldness that surprises even myself, I take the plunge, pressing my trembling lips to his in a tentative kiss. At first, there’s a hesitation in his response, a flicker of uncertainty that lingers in the space between us. But, as if a dam has been unleashed, Raphael meets my kiss with a hunger that sets my soul ablaze. His lips move against mine with a desperate urgency, a silent plea for more as he pulls me closer, his hands tangling in my hair with a possessiveness that leaves me breathless. 

As Raphael responds to my kiss with a fervour that ignites every nerve ending in my body, I feel myself melting into his embrace, surrendering to the intoxicating pull of our desires. With a gentle yet possessive touch, he lays me down, his body fitting over mine as if we were made for each other, our limbs entwining in a seamless dance of passion and longing. 

His lips continue to move against mine with a hunger that borders on desperation, a silent plea for more as he explores every inch of my mouth with a fervent intensity. The taste of him is like a drug, addictive and intoxicating, leaving me dizzy with desire as I lose myself in the heat of the moment.

I can feel the weight of his body pressing against mine, the heat of his skin searing through the fabric of our clothes. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me as his hands roam over my body with a reverence that leaves me breathless.

And then there's the scent of him, a heady combination of musk and spice that fills my senses, leaving me intoxicated with lust. It's a scent that I know I'll never forget, a tantalising reminder of the passion that burns between us.

In this moment, with Raphael's lips on mine and his body pressed against mine, I feel more alive than I ever have before. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word sends waves of pleasure crashing over me, threatening to consume me whole.

And as I lose myself in the intensity of our connection, I realize that I can't seem to get enough of him. He's become my addiction, my obsession, the one thing that I crave above all else.

“I can deal with being a Carstairs if you stay with me.” I gasp, pulling away as unlike vampires I had to breathe. 

As Raphael's lips ghost over my pulse point, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me, I feel my heart race erratically in my chest. His words wash over me like a soothing balm, a reassurance that transcends the weight of my newfound identity. 

"I don't care if you're a Carstairs or not. I know who you are," he murmurs against my skin, his breath sending tingles of electricity dancing along my nerves. In that moment, with Raphael's lips pressed against my neck and his arms wrapped around me, I feel seen, understood, and accepted in a way I've never experienced before. 

But the sudden interruption of reality crashes down upon us like a wave, breaking the spell of intimacy that had enveloped us. I pull away from Raphael’s embrace, gasping for breath as the need for air overwhelms me. His dark eyes meet mine, filled with a mixture of concern and understanding,

“We should probably get some sleep," he suggests softly, his voice a soothing melody in the silence of the room. "It sounds like Simon and Alec want to tear my throat out currently for touching you.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips at his words, a silent acknowledgment of the complications that come with our newfound connection. With a nod of agreement, I settle back against the pillows, feeling Raphael's warmth beside me like a comforting embrace. As sleep begins to claim me once more, I find solace in the knowledge that despite the challenges that lie ahead, I have Raphael by my side, a constant source of strength and support in a world that often feels uncertain and unforgiving

And as I drift into the realm of dreams, I know that tomorrow will bring new challenges and obstacles to overcome. But for now, in the quiet of the night, I allow myself to simply be, to exist in this moment of connection and possibility, where the boundaries between friend and something more blur and fade into the ether. With Raphael by my side, I know that whatever lies ahead, we'll face it together, bound by an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of adversity.

The Shadowhunters Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 21st Dec 2023

#raphael santiago x reader #raphael santiago #the mortal instruments #raphael santiago x you #raphael santiago x y/n #raphael santiago smut #raphael santiago fluff #raphael santiago agnst #raphael santiago angst #raphael santiago tmi #David castro #shadowhunters #shadowhunters tv #downworlders

[shadowhuntersficrecs]

Hey there,

I'm looking for a specific fic, and maybe you can help me, because it drives me insane.

I don't know the titel anymore, but it was on ao3. In the fic Imogen Herondale deruned Alec and broke the parabatai bond between him and Jace, and he cant remember the Shadowworld anymore. A friend of Magnus finds him, and they all try to get his memorys back and figure out what happend. It was really heartbreaking and fantasic.

I hope you can help me. Thank you :)

Hi, I found a fic that fits the description of what you're looking for, but it's locked so you'll need to have an account on ao3 to be able to read it.

--

Exile (147277 words) by Marchling Chapters: 26/26 Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray, Catarina Loss, Imogen Herondale, Jia Penhallow Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Deruned Alec Lightwood, Homelessness, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, (Light and Not Between Tagged Couples), Hurt Alec Lightwood, Parabatai Bond, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Not Really Character Death, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Mild Suicidal Thoughts, Broken Parabatai Bond, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, Amnesiac Alec Lightwood

Summary:

Imogen Herondale hated Alec Lightwood.

Everyone from Jia Penhallow all the way through Jace himself knew of her animosity towards the person that she felt held her grandson back from the all that the Herondale name deserved. Despite this, Alec never thought she would actually move against him because to hurt him was to hurt Jace.

He had been wrong.

Now, Alec had no runes. His memories were gone. He had no idea who he was, why there was a ragged wound inside of him that he couldn't see or how he had gotten to this abandoned apartment in San Francisco.

All he knew was that monsters were tracking him and staying alive might take more strength than he had.

#fic asks #malec fanfic #shadowhunters fanfic

[parkerslatte]

DALLIANCE || Matthew Fairchild

Matthew Fairchild x Fem!OC

Warnings: mentions of alcoholism. mentions of injury and blood. mild sexism.

Summary: Delilah Lightwood, daughter of Cecily and Gabriel Lightwood, has spent her whole life wanting to be something more than she was born to be. As a Shadowhunter, Delilah's path was written for her before she was even born. However, Delilah wants to to more with her life, prove that Shadowhunters can do more than their legacy written in the history books.

At seventeen years old, Delilah follows in the footsteps of her older sister, Anna. She doesn't necessarily conform to typical societal standards. Drinking away at Downworlder parties, pursuing the artistic career she wants to make for herself, normally attending these alongside herself and her sister, is Matthew Fairchild.

Matthew Fairchild. Someone Delilah had been close with since the academy and someone she shares a special bond with. Not a romance. Not a parabatai bond like Matthew and James share. Their bond is different, a type of bond that cannot be explained.

With Cordelia Carstairs arriving in London, Delilah is delighted, wanting to get to know the girl more. However with the arrival of The Carstairs family comes the Blackthorn family, leaving one James Herondale pining over the mysterious Grace Blackthorn.

With a looming threat over the Shadowhunter world, Delilah finally realises what it means to be a true Shadowhunter...and what her bond with Matthew Fairchild really is.

Current Word Count: 29,788

The Shadowhunter Chronicles Masterlist

Contents:

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

More to come…

••••••••••

Authors Note:

- I will start with a disclaimer that I do not own any of these characters or do I own the plot. All belongs to Cassandra Clare. The only things I do own are Delilah Lightwood and her story and plot I have written and any other side characters not affiliated with Cassandra Clare or her work.

[fandomidiot]

Carry me above the tides of war

Ship: Jalec

Rating: G

Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmates, Wings, Alternate Universe - Wings, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai, Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Forbidden Love, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love. Soul Bond. Angel Wings, Angels, Background Clary Fray, Background Meliorn, Jace Wayland Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things

Summary:

Alec makes the big decision to defy the Clave and choose Jace, what his heart wants, over the rules. For a moment he believes that everything will work out. That it’ll be fine. Until he discovers the real reason relationships between parabatai are frowned upon. Now they both must figure out if their love is worth risking the lives they’ve built.

“Jace,” Alec whispered. “What are we doing here?”

He turned around to face him, his eyes glistening in the candlelight. “You’ve always wondered why parabatai aren’t supposed to be in love. The answer is in this room.”

Written for @takaraphoenix for @jalecsquad Secret Santa 2022! Prompts were: soulmate AUs, winged AUs, preferably canon divergent and not total AU, focus on the parabatai bond, angst as long as it ends happily

Hope u enjoy <3 happy holidays

#jalec #jalecsecretsanta #jalecsecretsanta2022 #jace wayland #alec lightwood

[polarnacht1]

Wish You Were Here 8 Chapters, complete, 33 k

Ship: Jalec Rating: E Tags: AU, Parabatai Love, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Runes, Dark Clary Fray, Dark Magic, Getting Together, Feelings Realization, Insecurities, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, Happy Ending

Summary:

Alec and Jace’s relationship is still fresh and fragile when Clary stumbles in their lives and turns their world upside down.

Whereas Jace sees himself in Clary and wants to help her, Alec is wary of her and her intentions, fueled by Clary’s obvious attraction towards Jace and his own insecurities. Does Jace reciprocate her feelings? If not, as Jace claims, then why does their bond feel empty, why is it acting so strangely?

Meanwhile Clary is intent on achieving her goals: Find her mother and the Mortal Cup, but foremost make Jace hers, no matter the cost - even if that cost is Alec’s soul or life.

Read on A03

written for Windy and @fandomtrumpshate

#jalec #jace wayland #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #fanfiction #fandom trumps hate

[isleofdaydreams]

Alchemy of Love by IsleOfDaydreams

Summary:

Gojo Satoru has only ever had eyes for his best friend, Getou Suguru. For years, he has silently been crushing on him. It goes without saying that when choosing his parabatai the only person that came to mind was Suguru. What Satoru doesn't realize is that his mate is one Nanami Kento. The omega who has always been by his side, hoping to catch his eyes, before he forges a life-long bond with someone else. Giving his body, heart, and soul to them.

Rating: Explicit Category: M/M Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Relationships: Gojo Satoru/Nanami Kento, Getou Suguru & Gojo Satoru Characters: Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Getou Suguru, Ieiri Shoko, Sukuna | Ryoumen Sukuna, Yaga Masamichi Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Parabatai Bond, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Gojo Satoru, Omega Nanami Kento, Alpha Haibara Yu, Omega Getou Suguru, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Heavy Angst, Alternate Universe - Shadowhunters, Oblivious Gojo Satoru, Hurt Nanami Kento, Mating Cycles/In Heat Words: 4,017 Chapters: 2/? Language: English

#chapter 2 is up! #fanfic #nanago #gonana #gojo satoru #nanami kento #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

First Pride

Chapter 3 of cum non bellantis

Malec | Rated general | no warnings | Bingo Square: First Pride

Summary: Alec and Magnus enjoy the benefits of a telepathetic bond and Alicante has its first pride. 

A/N: Takes place following chapter 3 of magicae bellantis, about a year after the events of vitae bellantis, so read both of those first!

This work was created for the Shadowhunters Pride Bingo presented by the Malec Discord Server. @malecdiscordserver

Read it on AO3 or below the cut.

Alec

“You are cheating,” Jace said, glaring at Alec although he was swaying slightly in place, which rather ruined the effect. “Both of you. I don’t know how you’re doing it, but it’s cheating.”

Alec raised a nonchalant eyebrow at him. “Perhaps Magnus and I are simply better at charades than you are.” 

We kinda are cheating, though, Magnus observed in his head. I don’t think magical mental communication is permitted. 

The rules don’t say it’s not allowed, Alec returned, hiding a smirk behind his glass. And you gotta admit it’s hilarious to watch them struggle to understand how we’re doing it.

The thread of amusement in the bond was answer enough, and Alec turned back to Jace, who was demanding another round. 

“No cheating this time,” Jace told them, pointing at the two of them. “I’m warning you. I’ll tell Alec the word, and I’m activating a hearing rune this time to make sure you’re not whispering to each other.”

“Feel free,” Magnus said indifferently. “You won’t catch us cheating.”

Jace scowled and dragged Alec into the area which Clary had drawn specialised Soundless runes all over, so that he wouldn’t be overheard telling Alec what he had to act out. Not that it mattered; Magnus had a hotline into Alec’s head through the bond humming between them, and no ward they’d encountered yet had been able to separate them. 

“We should make Alec act out something Magnus won’t know about,” Clary suggested, following them over. “Like… a Shadowhunter-only thing.”

“It’s not fair if Magnus doesn’t know what it is,” Alec protested. 

“I don’t care, you two are already being unfair,” Jace replied, and dove into brainstorming with Clary. 

(Magnus chuckled in the back of Alec’s mind, and Alec made sure to keep his face blank and calm while he laughed internally. Pranking Jace was so much fun.)

Three more rounds of charades later — all of which Magnus and Alec had won; Jace was growing increasingly frustrated and drunk, which wasn’t helping his acting skills — Clary finally called a halt. “I think we all know Magnus and Alec are better at this than we are.”

“Cheaters,” Jace mumbled, but acquiesced. 

Should we tell them? Alec asked Magnus mentally. Or keep them guessing?

Jace’ll be furious, Magnus commented, though he wouldn’t be particularly upset about that. 

Jace is drunk and already furious, Alec replied. 

Magnus grinned. Then let’s tell them. 

“My parabatai is a traitor,” Jace was mumbling. “I swear you’re cheating.”

“Calm down, Jace, I’m sure they’re not,” Clary said with a consoling pat to the back of his hand. “We would’ve noticed if they were communicating.”

“Not necessarily,” Alec broke in, smirking when both Jace and Clary’s heads whipped around to stare at him. 

“So you were cheating,” Jace said, eyes wide. “How?” 

Alec and Magnus raised their forearms in sync, gesturing to their matching permanent Alliance runes. “It used to be just emotions and abilities, but lately, we’ve been getting thoughts as well,” Alec explained. 

“Cheaters,” Jace grumbled, turning away from them with a huff. “We’re going to play another round, and this time you’re going to be on opposite teams.”

Magnus

The next morning dawned with shafts of light that Jace claimed were specially designed to hurt his hungover eyes. (Magnus offered Clary a hangover cure but refused one to Jace until he admitted that Magnus had won their last game of charades fair and square. Admittedly, it was false — Alec had mentally told him the answer, purely to piss Jace off — but Magnus was a fan of irritating Jace, so he didn’t feel particularly guilty.)

Simon dropped in shortly after — he’d struck up a friendship with Clary, Jace, and Izzy, as well as Alec — wearing a shirt with a twenty-sided die in the colours of the pan flag. “Hi guys.”

Jace groaned — his hangover still hadn’t abated fully — but Clary waved cheerfully enough. Alec was making pancakes, which left it to Magnus to swan over and greet him. “Sheldon. Pulling out the Pride merch?”

“It’s June,” Simon replied. “I’m going to the parade in New York with Izzy. Can you believe she didn’t know what pride month was?”

What’s pride month? Alec asked Magnus mentally, causing him to bemoan — yet again — Shadowhunters’ lack of exposure to mundane culture. Last June, he supposed it simply hadn’t come up — they’d been dealing with Lilith and Jonathan at the time — but that was no excuse for Shadowhunter ignorance to continue. “It’s an absolute travesty, my dear,” he told Simon, “but mundane queer culture isn’t exactly in the Shadowhunter curriculum.” 

Jace sat up, poised to argue in support of the Shadowhunter curriculum, then winced as his headache apparently increased. Magnus dulled the pain a little, if only so it’d stop bothering Alec through the parabatai bond. 

“Mundane culture isn’t necessary for Shadowhunting,” Jace pointed out. 

“And Shadowhunters are elitist enough not to bother with anything that isn’t strictly necessary,” Alec put in. “What’s pride month?”

“It’s a celebration of diverse genders and sexualities,” Magnus told him, and launched into an in-depth explanation featuring the origin, the different forms of pride parade around the world, and the general culture surrounding it. “I’ve gone every year since 1970.”

There was an introspective bent to Alec’s feelings through the bond which suggested he was considering an idea, but Clary was the one to speak up. “We should go to New York for it, too, then.”

“Actually,” Alec said, consideringly, “what if we didn’t need to go to New York for it?”

He met Magnus’ eyes, and Magnus understood what he was suggesting. “You want to organise an Alicante Pride Parade.”

Alec grinned. “Well, why not?”

Alec

Organising a Pride Parade in a city that regularly exiled queer people two years earlier was a hassle. 

Not enough of a hassle to discourage Alec. If anything, it encouraged him even more — the resistance of his opponents made it from a fun idea into a serious political move, and Alec was always delighted to piss off the remainder of the old guard that’d made it through the Resistance takeover only to be denied at every turn by the new world Alec was building. 

He brought it up at the next Downworld Council meeting, and received overwhelming support along with several offers of aid, which he gladly accepted. The parade would be set up with warlock magic, decorated with faerie-grown flowers in the colours of the pride flag, and take place from evening into the night in deference to the vampires’ preferences; it was a celebration both of queer rights and of Downworlder ones, and Alec was delighted when it finally began to come together. 

The parade happened on the last Sunday of June, the 26th, and the day was filled with last-minute reorganisations. A patch of flowers had withered for an unknown reason, and Alec needed to regrow them into the purple, grey, white, and black of the ace flag; a float was broken; somebody wanted the parade to go down a different street. At last, however, it was all straightened out to everyone’s satisfaction with a minimum of blackmail and almost no blood spilled at all. 

Magnus insisted that Alec come home an hour before the parade was set to start so that they could get ready — or rather, so that he could get Alec ready, because when Alec arrived, he was already dressed to the nines in bright pink, purple, and blue, with more skin showing than Alec had seen on him before in public. What little shirt he was wearing read:

DATING HIM → 

STILL BI

His makeup was also in the colours of the bi flag — eyeshadow in stripes of pink, purple, and blue, on both eyes, that stood out when he blinked; a flag painted on his lips; a flag on either cheek; small gemstones stuck around the corners of his eyes; glitter dusting his nose and cheekbones, highlighting them in that same pink/purple/blue. 

He looked, in Alec’s estimation, positively ethereal — he was always beautiful, of course, but there was something to be said for the confident pride he wore like a second skin, decked out like this. 

Alec, however, doubted he’d be as comfortable in so little clothing. Magnus clearly sensed his trepidation, because he grinned and reassured Alec that he’d be dressed a bit more sedately. 

The pants covered Alec’s legs — unlike Magnus’ — but they were tight enough that Alec caught Magnus looking rather below his face whenever he turned around; they were plain black, thankfully, and not too tight for Alec to move comfortably, for which he was grateful. The boots weren’t far off his usual, although perhaps a bit less sturdy and with a few more metal bits on them; the shirt covered a good deal more of his chest than Magnus’ did, at least, and it was black aside from letters in the green-and-blue gay flag that spelled out 

← DATING HIM

NO VERY HOMO

The arrows on their respective shirts, Alec noted, pointed in opposite directions, so that when standing next to each other, they’d be pointing to each other. He made a mental note to stay to Magnus’ right so that the shirts worked properly. 

The most adventurous part of his outfit was unquestionably his makeup. Magnus had drawn a rainbow flag on one cheek and the gay flag on the other, a pop of colour Alec liked. He hadn’t been covered with glitter (though a good deal had already drifted onto him from Magnus), but Alec’s eyes were traced with black that made them stand out, his face felt odd with foundation, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw an… augmented version of himself — the curves of his face sharpened, cheekbones brighter, eyes standing out more. It was pretty. He’d expected to tolerate it for Magnus’ sake, but strangely, he liked it for himself as well. 

Toilette complete, Alec hurried out to oversee the finishing touches on the parade. 

Magnus

The parade was everything Magnus could’ve hoped for and more. 

He’d showed Alec videos of mundane Prides and explained as much as he could, but he’d half expected the parade to end up relatively boring in the Shadowhunters’ typical shades of black, with a few Downworlders who knew the mundane customs standing out sharply in more colourful wear. But apparently everyone had gotten the memo and Alec was conservative in his mostly-black clothing: many Shadowhunters were wearing flags of various types, often showing nearly as much skin as mundanes might, and the Downworlder half of the crowd was even brighter. 

He tugged Alec down into a kiss, and the crowd cheered around them. Alec’s slightly obsessive preparations had turned out perfectly — everything was well-timed and every street was hung with decorations; perhaps more importantly, the atmosphere of jubilant half-defiance was perfect, and Magnus found himself grinning uncontrollably. 

Briefly separated from Alec due to organisational difficulties that absolutely required Alec’s approval, Magnus bought himself and Alec several pins adorned with their flags before casting out a mental net to locate his husband. There was a faint shiver of relief in the bond when they found each other again, and probing more closely, Magnus noticed a faint discomfort with the size of the crowd; it wasn’t so bad that Alec wanted to leave, but when Magnus guided him into a quieter area, the slight tension in Alec’s shoulders dissipated. He accepted the pins with a smile that shone brighter than the glitter on his cheeks. 

Izzy appeared shortly after in one of the most revealing dresses Magnus had ever seen her in — which was saying something — in blatant stripes of purple, pink, and blue. Simon was wearing the D&D shirt in pan colours that’d started it all off, and while Jace’s shirt only read ALLY, Clary was wearing the colours of the omni flag. 

“This is really cool, man,” Simon told Alec, grinning. “Never thought Shadowhunters would have so much pride.”

Alec shrugged, uncomfortable as always with praise, but Magnus pushed a thread of his own admiration through the bond to reinforce Simon’s words. Alec arched an eyebrow at him, and Magnus grinned, unrepentant. 

“They’re doing their Alliance-bond-telepathy schtick,” Jace announced, rather complainingly — Magnus supposed he was still salty about his loss at charades, and the bond shot through with laughter. 

“Jealous?” Alec asked him. 

Jace promptly scowled, and Alec chuckled out loud this time. 

Surrounded by brilliant colours and laughter, Magnus had never felt more at home.

#fic #my fic #tsc #tmi #magnus bane #alec lightwood #magnus x alec #alec lightwood bane #magnus lightwood bane #malec #alec x magnus #jace lightwood #jace herondale #jace wayland #simon lewis #clary fray #clary fairchild #mdsevent #Shadowhunter Pride Bingo 2022

[thelightofthebane]

(right from the start you would be) My Light in The Dark

Pairing: Malec

Rating: M

Summary: What if Magnus couldn’t forgive Alec for breaking his heart after the deal with Asmodeus? What if Magnus left New York and never looked back? What if Clary never got her memories back? What if the parabatai duo was so broken for their lost loves, they couldn’t function anymore? What if broken hearts led to broken souls? What if one left and the other disappeared? What if Magnus came back to a New York where Alec Lightwood vanished a century ago? What if What if What if

Or, Second chances might take longer. But they always seem to find their way back to each other.

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

Art by the lovely @hopesilverheart

Chapter 2 - I'll be lying awake (Countin' all the mistakes I've made)

||| Then |||

“Now that I have seen some of that history with my own eyes, I can’t help but think if I’m lucky maybe one of my arrowheads ends up in that box.”

“I don’t even want to think about you being gone.”

“One day I will be, and you’ll move on.” 

Alec released a tired but relieved breath when he signed the last document. His job was done. He made sure to not leave any loophole, any dot behind, before handing over the heavy folder to Aline.

“Are you sure we can’t persuade you to officially take the Inquisitor position? Our people would thrive having you to lead them alongside my mom.”

Alec smiled in gratitude, but just shook his head.

That was a recurring argument now. After the Battle of Alicante months ago, the Nephilim society had been in shambles. Alicante was in ruins, many Institutes around the world were empty after Jonathan’s massacre, and people were lost. Having been personally involved in Jonathan’s demise – and Valentine, Lilith, hell in general – and also used to the political game for years, Alec had been personally invited by Jia Penhallow to occupy the position of Inquisitor and help her in the damage control.

Alec had accepted with the condition that it would just be temporary, until things were stable again and a better person could take the job.

Not that he didn’t think himself capable of it, no. But he was in no mental or emotional state to take on such huge responsibility.

Alec… Alec was tired.

There wasn’t a single day when he didn’t wake up haunted by nightmares. Guilt and sorrow and grief warred in his mind and heart, and he couldn’t think.

It didn’t help that most times, he couldn’t separate his pain from Jace’s.

After Clary had been punished by the Angels and kicked out from the Shadow World, Jace just… shut down. It was even worse than when he’d thought Clary was dead, because this time she was there, but unreachable all the same. It was killing him.

While losing Magnus was killing Alec.

Nephilim love once.

It might be blasphemy, but the urge to curse the Angels for molding their children’s hearts like that was too strong.

It was cruel.

Perhaps that was why the emotions cloud judgment phrase was constantly drilled into their heads from the beginning. Like a fail-safe to prevent such a mess.

And yet, Alec couldn’t regret it.

He would never regret loving Magnus. And he would never forget his warlock.

Keeping Magnus inside his heart was what kept Alec alive most of the time. Though it didn’t prevent him from doing dumb, dangerous stuff. Add that to Jace’s equally broken behavior, and they were a danger hazard in patrols and missions. More than once, one of them, or both, had to be brought back from the brink of death after some self-sacrificing act. They weren’t trying to be suicidal, but it was as if their own safety didn’t matter anymore.

Their feelings, their pain at an infinite feedback loop, were putting the parabatai bond in haywire, almost cannibalizing itself. They either felt too much or nothing at all.

“I need a break,” Alec told her honestly, freezing for a second after realizing what those words had once meant, echoing back to him from one of the worst days of his life. He blinked hard, then cleared his throat. “There are wonderful Shadowhunters out there that could do a better job than me. Diana Wrayburn, Diego Rosales, even you or Helen. Our generation is more hopeful than the ones before us, and I’m positive it will only get better.”

“Thanks to you. You opened the roads for that, Alec. Your ideas, your alliance with the Downworlders, everything helped bring the changes we all needed. If it weren’t for you, the New Accords wouldn’t have even been signed.”

Alec gave her a small smile, tilting his head. “I only did my job. And I had help.”

“You are far too stubborn, Lightwood.” Aline rolled her eyes, but her smile was fond. “I’ll get going then. Helen is waiting for me to choose the cake.” She got up, then glared at him. “You will come to my wedding, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He grinned a bit, and it was genuine. He was happy for Aline and Helen, he truly was. They deserved the freedom to call each other ‘wife’ and have that in an official document, and not in whispers behind secret doors or closets.

Aline nodded once, winked at him, then left his office.

Exhaling slowly, still – always – tired, he looked around. Even after taking the temporary position as Inquisitor, Alec mostly worked in his office at New York, only going to Alicante if strictly necessary. That way, he could focus on his tasks both as Inquisitor and as Head of the New York Institute. He didn’t mind the double amount of work. It wasn’t as if he did anything else in his life besides working.

Wake up, work, sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

Alec barely even slept in his bedroom. Magnus’ ghost still lingered there, reminding him of his failure.

He either slept in his office or with Jace when the nightmares  were too much for both of them, and they were trying to keep the other safe and sane.

A knock on his door dragged him out of his musings, and soon his two siblings were entering, making themselves comfortable on the chairs in front of him.

Alec could see the toll of everything not only on himself and Jace, but also on Izzy. Even though she didn’t lose a lover – her and Simon’s relationship being stronger than ever –, she was too wrapped up in her brothers’ problems and safety to be able to fully relax.

Lightwoods never did anything in halves, worries included.

Alec opened a drawer and took out three envelopes, putting them down on his desk.

One for each of them.

One for a dismissal and two for de-runement.

“Are you sure about that?” Alec asked once more, eyeing his siblings with a serious look. “You know there is no way back from this.”

Jace nodded, also breathing with an exhausted expression.

“Since Clary saw me last week… Even though she doesn’t remember me or anything from before, she… she asked me out.” Jace smiled small, but it was so pure, so happy. “Her mind might not remember, but I feel that her heart does. And I don’t want to miss this chance. I don’t want to lose her again. If we can’t be together in the Shadow World, the mundane world will have to do.”

“You know it will be hard to adjust. You won’t be able to go after demons anymore.” Alec reminded him, but Jace only shrugged.

“If Mom could, I can, too. She already told us she would help. We can stay with her until we find our own paths.”

Alec nodded, then turned to Izzy. She cocked an eyebrow at him, causing Alec to roll his eyes fondly.

“I can understand Jace, but why you? Your boyfriend is still a vampire.”

“I don’t have a good reason to stay without you two.”

“You don’t need to stay here. You could go to the Los Angeles Institute and be with dad and Max.” Alec said softly, trying to reason with his little sister.

“Dad and Max have their own life, I wouldn’t feel comfortable.” Isabelle sighed. “Besides, he may be a Daylighter, but Simon could just as well be a mundane, ignoring the speed, strength and blood diet. He could be by Clary’s side again, and with Jace and Mom also being mundanes, all of us could stay together.”

“You could come with us, Alec.” Jace tried for the umpteenth time, even though he already knew his brother’s answer.

“As a mundane, you will get a part of yourself back, Jace, but not me. I’d prefer to continue living as a Shadowhunter, even if an independent one, and continue doing the work we are supposed to do. Mag–” Alec closed his eyes shut, the word burning his throat like acid and threatening to do the same with his eyes. “He told me about cities and countries where people are still slaughtered by demons, but there aren’t Shadowhunters to help. I want to look for these places to see if I can do something for them.”

“Couldn’t you ask Jia to consider that as some kind of mission? You don’t have to resign just for that, big brother.”

Alec shook his head gravely. “The Clave is already understaffed as it is. They will lose two of their best soldiers,” he looked gently at his siblings. “I can only afford this ‘vacation’ due to some gratification after everything we did in the past. If they deem me fit to work, I’ll be stuck here in the Institute or in Idris.”

Jace and Izzy nodded grimly, and soon silence befell on them, each one lost inside their own head. It was Jace who broke the brief peace.

“This is it, then?” His eyes were on the envelopes, Alec’s and Izzy’s soon doing the same.

But then, Izzy extended her hand to the center of the desk, grinning softly for the first time in a long while.

“Three go in.”

Alec and Jace exchanged glances and smiles, also extending their hands and touching their sister’s.

“Three come out.”

||| Now |||

Magnus hated cemeteries. There wasn’t a place that screamed mortality more than a land full of graves. How many mortal lovers did he bury? How many immortal lovers and friends had their lives cut short and were nothing more than bones in the ground?

With a pang in his heart, he thought of Ragnor.

He thought of his mother. He thought of Raphael.

He thought of Alec.

Once, a long time ago, he’d wondered what would happen when Alec died, hopefully of old age. Would he be allowed at his funeral? Would he never be allowed to visit his beloved’s place of rest since Downworlders weren't allowed inside the City of Bones?

Ms. Goldstairs kindly informed him that although a silver plate with Alec’s name was put there as an homage to the brave Shadowhunter who did a lot for the Shadow World, his true grave was in a mundane cemetery. Not so surprisingly, it was Max’s request since their mother and siblings would have the same fate as mundanes. And since there wasn’t a body to bury, the grave only being symbolic, the Clave allowed it.

After some inquiries, it wasn’t hard to find where the Lightwoods were. With greater melancholy, he saw Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Maryse and Luke’s graves. The curse of being attached to mortals, he thought bitterly.

Then, he saw it.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood

Beloved son and brother

Due to his unknown fate, the year inscribed as his passing was the same as his disappearance. Magnus touched the cool stone with shaking fingers.

Yes, he had been beyond furious, hurt and lashed out after finding out what Alec had done.

But after years, after a number of new lovers who never held a candle to his Shadowhunter, after many long conversations with Catarina, he had to admit he missed Alec.

He knew there was no coming back for them, and yet…

He still loved that selfless asshole who took his heart and never gave it back.

Knowing that he disappeared a long time ago, nobody knowing what really happened, was unnerving. Magnus couldn’t help but think if he never left, maybe Alec wouldn’t…

“Magnus?”

Magnus blinked and looked over his shoulder, his eyes widened slightly.

“Sheldon?”

Simon glared at him for a moment, then broke into a toothy grin.

“I’m glad you’re back.” He was holding a huge bouquet of red roses and purple columbines that he soon put on Isabelle’s grave. “Today is our anniversary. I never miss it.”

Magnus’ eyes softened and he smiled sadly.

“It’s never easy for an immortal. I’m glad you stayed by her side despite it.”

“I couldn’t be anywhere else. She was my greatest love. I would’ve never abandoned her.”

Magnus’ face fell and he quickly averted his eyes, once again looking at Alec’s name on the tomb. Flicking his hand without the usual flair, he conjured a bouquet of white and pink daphnes to give a bit of color to the simple tomb.

“You know…” Simon began slowly, and Magnus glanced up to him. “The only time I saw Jace regretting his de-runement and their broken bond was when he couldn’t tell if Alec was alive or not.” Simon explained while caressing Izzy’s photography in the display. “We never found him to see Izzy or Jace or Max, even Maryse and Robert, one last time. Obviously, by now, he must be no more than dust and shadows.”

“How is that possible? Was he on some kind of mission?”

Simon told Magnus about Alec’s plan to help Downworlders in isolated places and how it went well for the first few months.

“He would always communicate somehow and come back to spend some time with us. He was always worried about his siblings, wanting to know how they were adapting to the mundane life. The last time we heard from him, he was going to some island between Indonesia and Malaysia. He never came back again. He even missed Clary and Jace’s…” Simon shook his head in defeat. “We went there to look for him and even paid a warlock to help us track him, but… It was as if he had evaporated.”

Magnus went silent. Did he dare go there to look up himself? So close to his homeland… Was there another reason for Alec to go there? But then again, going there now would be in vain. After so many years, it would be dumb luck to find a bone or any of Alec’s belongings.

Although…

“Did Alec take his favorite bow?”

“Yes, why?”

Because Alec’s bow was actually Magnus’ bow. And tracking something that he owned was easier than something owned by another person.  

Magnus hummed. Maybe after his visit to the Blue Hidden, he could try to track the bow and see if he found evidence, anything of Alec to put an end to this mystery for good and let his soul rest in peace. Maybe it would also bring closure to the Lightwoods still alive.

It might bring closure to him, too.

He hoped so.

~*~

Once, Magnus wished to erase his memories of Alec. After emptying another one of his expensive whiskeys and dropping it on his fluffy carpet, he pondered about it again. This time his father couldn’t stop him, and all that repressed pain would vanish for good.

But then, he would look at his omamori charm – still intact thanks to a little spell – and dismiss the idea. Clutching it against his chest, memories and words and phantom touches of Alec would caress him, and breathing became both easier and harder.

Magnus always tried to fool himself into believing that he had moved on from the Shadowhunter, but he knew it never happened. Sometimes he wondered if things would have been different if he’d had a second chance with Alec. If they had met again. Would he have forgiven Alec? Would seeing him have brought back all the anger again? Would he have punched or kissed him?

“I hate you…” Magnus wiped his mouth, the alcohol still burning in his throat and getting worse as sobs tried to break free. “I hate you, stupid Shadowhunter…”

He curled into himself on the floor and screamed.

I miss you.

Lamps and glasses and bottles and portraits broke when his magic lashed out, shattering everything around.

Come back.

They’d wasted so much time.

Stay.

Why did they fall in love if it wasn’t supposed to be?

Stay with me.

The last thing Magnus felt before losing conscience was the warmth coming from his omamori.

To bring luck and protection.

He welcomed the darkness.

I love you.

~*~

Magnus’ eyes snapped open.

It was already dark outside, but it wasn’t the light – or the lack of it – that dragged him from the oblivion. Even in his hungover state, his magic could feel the fluctuation of the ley lines. Something was changing in the air. It was very subtle, almost imperceptible even for the best magical users, but Magnus had always been too attuned to his city of heart.

The veil was about to rip, allowing a passage to the in-between, to where the Hidden were.

Magnus could feel it in his core like a tender whisper.

They opened their gates. Magnus could enter.

Getting up, he snapped his fingers to put himself together – clothes, hair, makeup – and conjured a hangover potion from his apothecary, cleaning his blood right away and clearing his foggy mind. He also made sure that his eyes weren’t bloodshot anymore and all trails of tears were gone. He took his messenger bag, full of some of his most potent potions, and wore it over his shoulder. Lastly, without paying any mind to it, he put the omamori charm inside his trousers’ pocket.

Steadying himself with a deep breath, he finally opened a portal inside the loft and went into it with only one destination in mind.

The Blue Hidden.

#shrb2022 #malec server #shadowhunters #malec #alec lightwood #magnus bane #my writing #ColorfulWarlock

[lazinesswrites]

Fandom: Shadowhunters - Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland

Prompt: Day 3 - "That was not my intention."

Title: Meet me on the battlefield (we could change it all)

Summary: He's Valentine’s son, he’s in love with his sister, and the Parabatai bond feels nearly nonexistent. Just a few days ago everything was normal. How the hell did it come to this?

Jace and Alec have an important talk, just a little earlier than in canon.

#fictober22 #day 3 #Shadowhunters #Jace Wayland #Alec Lightwood #Parabatai #Ao3 Link

[schreiberling2021]

Title „Safe“

Chapter one: „Trouble“

Square Filled: Meet Ugly

Ship: Malec

Rating: G

Tags: Alpha Alec, Patrouille, Demon Attac, injury, Parabatai-Bond, Pre-Relationship

Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Izzy Lightwood, Catharina Loss, Magnus Bane

Summary: A bad day for Alpha Alec.

Created for @shadowhunterbingo

#shadowhunterbingo #sh bingo #malec #fanfiction

[carelessflower]

Ok I was just rereading part of CoG and I came to say I changed my mind

Show Jace was better than tmi Jace 💀💀

This is literally the whole summary of tmi parabatai 💀💀💀💀💀

bby it really is the parabatai bond in tmi. here have another visual representation

and for show!jace i would be sure abt that bby these two gold moments are from the same episode

v glad he got the character development cuz this was embarrassing

#ask #not Jace hate #but he has improved i give him that

[sierradeaton]

good in goodbye

i would take a bullet for you just to prove my love only to find out you are the one holding the gun

summary: maddox turns to hunter for comfort when he realizes josh will never love him back in the same way. characters: maddox fray (ashton irwin), hunter bane (michael clifford), josh wayland (luke hemmings), heather lightwood (sarah jeffery), carter penhallow (nick hargrove) ships: maddox/hunter. mentions of josh/maddox, josh/heather, heather/carter content:  angst, smut, hurt/comfort (warnings: blood play, choking, unprotected sex) playlist: motion - luke word count: 5k notes: this fic/universe is based on the mortal instruments/shadowhunters tv show. maddox and josh are both shadowhunters. hunter is a vampire. parabatai is means "a pair of nephilim warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, their souls bound together by oath and their angelic bond." josh and maddox are parabatai. they are also forbidden to fall in love with each other.

Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek. 

They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely. 

Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

read on ao3 OR below the cut

It happened shortly after Heather's ex, Carter, left. Maybe they hadn't even waited until then... Maddox suspected that Josh had been sleeping with Heather while they were still hooking up. He didn't really care, because he'd ultimately gotten what he wanted and needed. He saw them together again today after Carter's departure and he knew that he wouldn't be with Josh again. He wondered if he'd even realized it was the last time while it was happening. Maybe he could talk Josh into one more time, but Maddox's heart wasn't in it once he knew that Josh had Heather available to him again. He cared about her. He was falling in love with her, and Maddox would know it the entire time they were together. No. He couldn't be with Josh again.

 Although Josh pleaded with him not to push him away, he was going to have to for at least a little while. He wasn't setting foot in the Institute unless it was to report for a mission. Fuck, he deserved vacation. When the hell had any of them ever gotten a break from risking their lives? Maddox wagered that he'd saved enough mundane lives at this point to merit a fucking week to fall apart and somehow put himself back together. He arrived at Hunter's loft and didn't really give him any warning before kissing him. Just like that, Maddox was inside the door and his lips were on Hunter's. He didn't have to say anything for him to understand what was happening. Maddox told him about Josh, and they both knew this day would come. Hunter promised that he'd be there.

 Immediately, Hunter's hands were softly cupping Maddox's face as he kissed him back deeply. It was the kind of intensity that Maddox needed. He pushed the door closed behind him and started pawing at Hunter's clothes already. He tugged up his loose t-shirt and while Hunter finished shedding it, Maddox slipped out of his leather jacket. He pulled his black t-shirt over his head and finally, he was able to pull Hunter's body flush with his and feel their skin touch. Hunter was cool against his warmth, which kind of got him a little hard every time. He navigated Hunter's apartment with ease, guiding him back with every step while unzipping his pants. By the time they reached the bedroom, Maddox had pushed both pants and boxers down. He shoved Hunter hard back onto the bed naked.

 The moment they broke apart was a second that Maddox might've had to think and let his unhappy circumstances and heartbreak sink in but the sight of Hunter naked on his black sheets completely consumed him. His cock was straining his skinny jeans by now, and Maddox hissed at the pain and difficulty of unzipping his pants. He was impatient and finally pushed them down his legs along with his boxers. He stood there a moment to let Hunter look at him just like he had earlier. Maddox couldn't help noting with a smirk how much Hunter's dick twitched while looking at him. That's when Maddox couldn't stand it any longer and he crawled onto the bed. He was on top of Hunter in seconds and grabbed his hands when Hunter eagerly reached for his hips. Maddox pinned them above his head and leaned down to kiss Hunter deeply.

 "Are you gonna behave tonight or are you gonna be a little brat?" he asked against Hunter's lips, grinding down on him so he could feel his dick. Maddox made it clear what kind of mood he was in. He could've fucked him right then and there, but he was riding the high of control. It was one thing he'd never had in his relationship with Josh. Maddox hadn't chosen to fallen in love with him in the first place, and right now he hated his parabatai for making him. There was really no choice. The second Maddox saw Josh, he'd fallen hard.

 "I don't know, I guess we'll just have to see..." Hunter smirked with a devious twinkle in his eye.

 Maddox released Hunter's hands so that he could start to climb up his body to his head. He placed one knee on either side of his head looked down at Hunter with his cock literally in his face. "Lube me up if you wanna be fucked," he told him as he reached down to cradle Hunter's head and lift him up. He shivered when Hunter placed a kiss on his thigh and let out a low whine. He pressed Hunter's head there to indicate he wanted more. "Bite me," Maddox begged. He knew the blood filling his cock and pulsing hard through the artery in his thigh must drive Hunter crazy. "Please," he whimpered. He needed to lose himself in this.

 It wasn't that Hunter was trying to disobey purposefully. He would've done what Maddox asked immediately because he wanted it too, but he knew what Maddox had just gone through. He wasn't in the greatest frame of mind, and this was serious. Maddox looked down pleadingly. "Please," he whispered.

 Hunter always took direction well and he finally wrapped his arms around Maddox's thick, muscled thighs. He pulled him closer and kissed along his thigh to the point he wanted, directly over the femoral artery. Hunter was a tease, sucking on Maddox's skin and nipping it but not with his fangs. Maddox growled impatiently and tugged on Hunter's hair roughly. "Hunter," he whined and pressed his head down again. This time, the vampire gave in and pulled away just enough to let his fangs descend. He licked over the spot before he sank his teeth into Maddox's skin. Not even giving him a moment to process the wave of pleasure that hit him, Hunter reached for Maddox's cock and pumped his hand along the shaft while he drank from him.

 Maddox had to let go of Hunter's head with one hand, slamming it against the wall to steady himself. The pleasure was so overwhelming at once that he thought he might've blacked out, and he was seeing stars. As much as he would've loved to watch what Hunter was doing to him, he couldn't even open his eyes. His head was dropped back as he moaned shamelessly. It ended too soon for his liking, but Maddox knew that Hunter wanted to be careful not to take too much blood. Especially if they were planning on having more sex. Maddox confessed that he'd probably want to fuck constantly just to feel better and stop thinking for a little while. He wanted Hunter to taste him again, and that meant being careful.

 Hunter was always annoyingly persistent about it. He remembered that Maddox got hungry even when Maddox hadn't thought about it. He always kept food now since their sex usually left Maddox pretty ravenous. It was very sweet and domestic and thoughtful. Maddox liked being thought of, and that was one thing he always knew was true when it came to Hunter. He thought of Maddox constantly and always put him first. He wasn't the second choice that he'd settled with for the meantime until he found something better. Hunter was open about how special he believed Maddox was, and his attraction to him always caught Maddox by surprise.

 He was confident in his looks and even more so his skill in bed, but Hunter was so attracted to everything about him. It gave Maddox a kind of power he wasn't sure he'd ever had before, and it actually made him the slightest bit shy. Maddox was so used to the role he played with Josh that he'd never once considered the possibility that to someone else, he was Josh. He was the sexiest man they'd ever seen, the one they wanted most, the person they couldn't stop thinking about... that's how Hunter saw him. He had, from the very beginning. Maddox was the one that downplayed the seriousness of what they had, chasing an impossible fantasy with Josh that was ultimately going to leave him empty and alone.

 Hunter withdrew his fangs from Maddox's skin and sucked a little on the two small wounds, licking over them to capture the last traces of blood. He tormented Maddox with how slowly he kissed up towards his groin. It took everything in Maddox not to just force his cock into Hunter's mouth. When he finally felt the warm wetness of Hunter's mouth, he was sucking on one of his balls. He massaged the other one gently with his hand before capturing it with his mouth too. Maddox whined, clenching his hand into a fist in Hunter's hair.

 His cock was aching and at long last, Hunter licked along his length to the tip. He was taking his time to swirl his tongue around the head of Maddox's cock and suck on it teasingly. However, the moment he finally wrapped his lips around it, Maddox didn't give him a chance to change his mind. He thrust himself into Hunter's mouth and forced him to take his full length down his throat. Hunter didn't technically need to breathe, which made him excellent when it came to deepthroating. His lips were made to suck cock. Maddox thought about it the moment he'd met Hunter. He knew he'd want those lips around his dick, and Maddox eagerly fucked his mouth while cradling his head.

 "That's it, baby, choke on me," Maddox praised him. He kept himself buried down Hunter's throat sometimes, just to make him gag and feel his throat muscles clench around him. He was getting off on being in control of the pleasure, and he finally pulled Hunter's head off his cock. "Fuck, your mouth is so good," Maddox groaned. "You deserve to be fucked for taking all of me like that." He reached down to wipe the spit off Hunter's swollen lips and pumped his own cock that was now slick from Hunter's mouth.

 "Fuck me, please," Hunter begged. He helped Maddox shift back down his body and between his legs. Maddox was impatient to kiss Hunter and he was pleased to taste the faintest hint of blood in his mouth, metallic against his tongue. He sucked on Hunter's lip while he positioned himself at his entrance. Maddox didn't wait and continued to kiss Hunter while he pressed inside him.

 "Ah- ah-" he scolded Hunter when he felt him grabbing onto his body. Maddox reached for Hunter's hands again and pinned them. Now that he was inside Hunter, he kept rocking his hips down to bury himself again and again. Their bodies were pressed together and Maddox didn't stop kissing him. Hunter was moaning through their kisses and eventually, he decided that he wanted to hear more of it. He kissed down to Hunter's neck and started to suck on the skin to leave mark, all while continuing to thrust into him a little harder every time. He held tight to Hunter's wrists and kept fucking him so he could drink in the sounds of Hunter's groans and cries growing louder. "You're mine," he growled in his ear. "Say it."

 "I'm yours," Hunter repeated so quickly. No hesitation.

 "Beg me to make you come," Maddox ordered. He slowed the roll of his hips, continuing to pump himself inside Hunter but with deliberate slowness. The blond vampire whined underneath him.

 "Please, Maddox," he said in a rush. He was so shameless, so ready to fall apart for Maddox. He'd do anything this man said. "Make me come. Fuck me harder, please. I want your cock. Harder, please. Please fuck me-"

 Maddox released one of Hunter's wrists so that he could grasp his throat. He returned his mouth to Hunter's and kissed him while squeezing a little tighter on his throat. Hunter's gasps and moans were strangled and Maddox started fucking him properly again. He took him even harder this time and he enjoyed Hunter's struggles to speak with his hand crushing his windpipe. Maddox eventually had to let go so he could use his arm to help balance while he fucked Hunter faster. He was getting close to his own orgasm, but he wanted to feel Hunter fall apart first. He wanted to hit that spot inside him with every thrust, and Maddox groaned with the effort and the restraint of denying his own pleasure.

 "Maddox!" Hunter moaned loudly. They were both panting in the air between them, neither able to kiss the other anymore because they were so lost in the moment and their own pleasure. Maddox didn't relent until he felt Hunter fall apart and his release spilling between them. That's when he could finally let go, pumping a few more times into him before he came hard. He fucked him through his orgasm and drew it out as long as possible. His motions significantly slowed but he needed those last few deep strokes inside Hunter.

 Finally, he pulled out and he also collapsed on top of Hunter with exhaustion from how hard he'd gone since the moment Hunter opened the door. It seemed to take forever yet was finished in a second. Time was distorted to Maddox, and all he knew is that he wanted to stay in the moment with Hunter as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to remember that the man he loved was someone that he was actually forbidden to love. If only it worked like that, and Maddox could've spared himself this pain by simply not falling for Josh in the first place. He wasn't Josh's choice. No matter how good they were together, it was somehow not enough.

 Apparently it wasn't good enough because it wasn't what she could give him. The girl that could make Josh decide to fall in love again, even when he'd sworn to never fall for anyone again after he'd lost Audrey. Heather could do that for him, and Maddox was just someone he passed the time with. Josh swore it was special to him, and deep down Maddox knew that it mattered. The intimacy was impossible to ignore during the moments they'd spent in bed. It was personal and real, but it was also easy for Maddox to dismiss when he was bitter and hurt that he still wasn't the one Josh wanted a future with at the end of the day.

 Maddox didn't like that he was thinking about Josh seconds after his orgasm with Hunter still underneath him. How was it so hard to shake him? Maddox wanted just one moment of fucking freedom. He desperately continued kissing Hunter's neck, panting for air because of all the energy he'd just exerted. His breathlessness wasn't enough to make him slow down. He reached Hunter's lips and kissed him deeply and eagerly. He tried to get lost in those full lips and the comfort they brought him, but suddenly something wet touched his cheek. Maddox didn't fully realize he was crying until some of the tears had trickled down onto Hunter's cheeks too while they kissed.

 Once he realized what was happening, Maddox pulled away abruptly. He recoiled from Hunter and dropped over to his side in bed. He turned away from Hunter and curled tightly into a ball while sobs began to rack his body. He hadn't grieved yet since his first time with Josh. It was bound to happen eventually as the weight of everything caught up to him. He cried for the unfairness of the situation and how selfish he felt demanding comfort from Hunter when he was in love with someone else. He was embarrassed by his own emotions and his tears. Emotions were something Maddox did his hardest to bury unless they were useful to him, like his anger and ambition and determination. His fiercely protective nature and killer instincts were one thing, but heartbreak was not something that Maddox was taught to handle. Certainly not being heartbroken over his parabatai.

 Whether he deserved it or not, Hunter made the decision for him and wrapped his arm around him. Hunter curled up behind him and pulled Maddox against his broad chest. Although he felt like absolute shit for what he was doing and didn't believe he deserved this kindness, he allowed himself to sink into Hunter. He leaned back into his chest and let Hunter squeeze his arm around him. He cried until he had no tears left, for the moment anyway, and his voice had gone slightly hoarse. Silence fell between them but Hunter didn't prompt Maddox to speak.

 He drifted to sleep and awoke to the moon shining brightly through the floor-to-ceiling window. Maddox was still curled into a ball in the same position as earlier. He knew that he hadn't moved an inch because every joint in his body ached from being clenched into this tiny, constrained position. The surprising thing was that Hunter hadn't moved either. Maddox couldn't tell if he was asleep or not (he was still unclear on whether vampires actually slept the same way mundanes did) but his body was still pressed against Maddox's back. His arm was comfortably looped around Maddox's waist, and he actually smiled to himself for the first time in a long while. It felt good. He felt good.

 For the briefest of moments, waking up to find Hunter hadn't left him for even a second made him smile. He believed he was important in that moment. For a few seconds, he felt like he was special to someone who really cared whether he was okay. It wasn't even that Josh didn't care about him, because Maddox knew Josh loved him and would easily die for him. He didn't care about him in the same way. But to Hunter? Maddox was everything, and he actually believed it for a few seconds.

 That only triggered the return of tears, which Maddox had actually thought he'd completely run dry of. If Hunter had been asleep, the shaking in Maddox's shoulders told him that he was crying again. Hunter tightened the arm holding Maddox and pressed soft kisses against his bare shoulder while Maddox cried himself out again. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he knew that time had passed because the blackout shades were drawn in the bedroom now indicating that it was daytime.

 Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek.

 They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely.

 Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

 Although Hunter probably wanted to argue that Maddox should have something to eat before they did this again, he gave into him like he usually did. It was so fucking hard for him to say no to Maddox. He sank his teeth into Maddox's neck and the Shadowhunter gasped. His dick definitely twitched and he held on to the back of Hunter's neck as he drank from him. Hunter's hand sneaked down his body between them, taking hold of his half-hard cock and stroking him slowly.

 It was so easy to get the moans to fall from Maddox's lips then. He was a loud mess, and Hunter wished he could've let himself get carried away longer. He regretfully had to pull his fangs out, cleaning Maddox up with his tongue. He kissed Maddox after, knowing it's what the other man loved, and he didn't stop pumping his hand along Maddox's cock either. Maddox groaned into the kiss and let his tongue explore Hunter's mouth, licking carefully over the exposed points of his fangs. It was so hot.

 Hunter pulled away before he was really done, but Maddox couldn't complain when the blond began kissing his chest. He worked his way slowly down Maddox's body, ready to finish what he'd started the night before. He didn't taunt Maddox this time, instead wrapping his lips around Maddox's cock without hesitation. He could tell how much Maddox both needed and deserved this. Still buzzing off the high of Hunter's bite, he easily bucked his hips up into Hunter's mouth to get more stimulation. Understanding what he needed, Hunter bobbed his head along Maddox's length with increasing speed. He used his hand in combination with his mouth to keep Maddox stimulated.

 This was a blowjob for the specific purpose of getting him off as quickly as possible, and so Hunter didn't hold back. It's not like he needed to breathe anyway. He sank down on Maddox's cock deep and pulled back without much visible struggle, simply intense determination. He moaned when he felt Maddox's hand in his hair and pushing his head down. He was helping Hunter establish a rhythm the way he needed it, and Hunter let Maddox take the control he desired. Moans poured from him, and he was happy to call out Hunter's name.

 Once more Maddox had forgotten what he'd been through, if only for the briefest of times while Hunter sucked him off. He pressed Hunter's head down when he came, emptying himself down Hunter's throat and feeling him swallow. He sucked on Maddox's cock until he was finished and teased his tip even after that to help him ride out the wave of pleasure. He kissed back up the Shadowhunter's tattooed body and then kissed those beautiful lips again. Once more, Maddox was eager to taste and he met Hunter's tongue. He smirked into the kiss and deepened it before trying to speak, raggedly between kisses. "So which is better- my blood or my cum?"

 "Why can't I have both?" Hunter smarted off back.

 Maddox only smirked more, feeling the familiar rush of cocky pride that he was used to. He felt like himself for the first time in a little while. "You can," Maddox surrendered. He could've told Hunter off for being a little shit, but they both knew his answer made Maddox happy.

 "I need yours," Maddox decided and pushed Hunter over onto his back. He planted his knee between Hunter's legs and his hand beside Hunter's head. He continued kissing him for a moment longer before moving his lips down to Hunter's chest. His cool skin met Maddox's warm lips and tongue, and he took his time appreciating Hunter's body. It was something he hadn't gotten the chance to do in his eagerness last night, but now he wanted to give Hunter the attention he deserved. He wanted the vampire to understand how truly important he was to Maddox, despite the fact that Maddox was heartbroken over another man right now.

 Hunter was so expressive, giving Maddox the moans and whimpers he wanted. He sucked on the skin of his lower tummy while he deliberately ignored Hunter's arousal. He was being a little shit too.

 "Maddox, please," Hunter whined, trying to push his head down.

 Chuckling, Maddox finally pulled away and got settled between Hunter's legs. He turned his attention to Hunter's cock and grasped it firmly. He licked around the tip and took his time sucking on it, silencing any further protesting from Hunter. He was a mess now. It was almost too easy. He sank down on Hunter's cock, his own eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the rhythm of bobbing his head along the shaft.

 It was something he knew how to do so well and didn't have to think about very hard, which allowed him to get lost in the intimacy of the moment with Hunter and listening to the other man slowly come undone. He swallowed eagerly when Hunter's release hit the back of his throat. Maddox moaned loudly around Hunter's cock and helped draw out his orgasm as long as he could. Hearing Hunter scream his name never got old. He pulled off Hunter's cock and left a wet kiss on his thigh. He planted a few more before Hunter started to whine louder.

 "Maddox!" he begged. "C'mere, I wanna kiss you."

 He was so adorable actually, lost in the haze of his orgasm. Maddox couldn't deny him any longer. He crawled back up Hunter's body so that he could finally press a kiss to his lips. Hunter tried to taste himself on Maddox's tongue, moaning into their kiss. It would've been so easy to get lost in his kisses again and forget about the time or what was happening outside of this apartment. And Maddox intended to, but he needed something else more. He abruptly broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at Hunter. The blond was visibly surprised and immediately concerned. Maddox just smiled softly, happy to look into Hunter's eyes.

 "Thank you," he whispered because he was scared his voice might crack if he tried to speak any louder.

 "Oh, baby," Hunter breathed. He melted. He reached up to stroke Maddox's cheek with his thumb. "You're welcome. I'm here for you, always."

 Maddox let himself take in Hunter's touch for a moment, breathing out shakily. When his lip began to quiver and tears threatened to fall if he looked at Hunter any longer, he leaned back down for another passionate kiss and let it speak for him.

 His dick was already getting hard again as he grinded against Hunter while they kissed. His cock was still spent from his blowjob earlier, so it was easy to press himself inside Hunter once he guided himself to his entrance. Hunter gasped into the kiss which just made Maddox kiss him harder. He started rocking himself inside Hunter but more slowly and deliberately each time he rolled his hips down. He kissed Hunter so emotionally the whole time, setting a steady pace with his thrusts.

 This time, the vampire was able to hold onto Maddox's hips with one hand and help pull him down each time he rocked his hips forward. His other hand was down Maddox's strong back, the muscles rolling underneath the touch of Hunter's fingertips, flexed to help him balance on top of Hunter while he fucked him. They were both a mix of moans and heavy breathing between every kiss.

 He'd been reluctant to say these words until now, despite knowing that he felt them. He thought it would be confusing considering the fact that he was currently heartbroken over Josh. Just because Josh was his first love, it didn't mean he was his only love.

 Maddox broke their kiss and pressed his forehead against Hunter's. "I love you," he confessed with trembling breaths. "I know it's fucking complicated cause I still love Josh but fuck, baby... I love you too. I love you so fucking much." He'd never confessed that to anyone before. He'd only said it to Josh before, and that didn't seem like such a scary thing to do when Josh already knew.

 "Maddox..." Hunter's voice cracked. He tilted his chin up and captured Maddox's lips in another kiss. "I love you too."

 The tension coiled in Maddox's chest abruptly released, and he gasped against Hunter's mouth. He kissed him with renewed fervor. "I love you," he repeated. Maddox thrust into him a little harder and deeper. He repeated the words again and again as he picked up his pace, intent on bringing Hunter to his climax now. "Moan for me, only me," he told him. "Say my name." He groaned and panted against Hunter's mouth as he pumped into him with determination. Hunter was falling apart against his lips, whimpering and moaning.

 "Maddox!" he cried out. Practically begging for more, and that's what Maddox gave him. He made sure to bottom out every time he thrust into Hunter, wanting him to feel it where he needed it most. Maddox was drinking in Hunter's screams, waiting for the one that would accompany his orgasm. He felt Hunter reach his climax in every way possible. The blond dug his short nails into Maddox's back, and he screamed his name. The air between them was so heavy that Maddox swore he felt Hunter's pleasure as his own, and he didn't stop fucking him until he spilled himself inside Hunter. Maddox moaned loud and dropped his head into Hunter's shoulder. His hips stilled with him still inside Hunter. He messily kissed Hunter's neck.

 "You have to feed me before I fuck you again," Maddox teased in his ear. He chuckled happily, and he'd actually succeeded in forgetting his pain for the moment. He was looking forward to the time he'd spend with Hunter instead of lamenting the time he'd lost with Josh.

 "Okay, then let's fix that asap," Hunter quickly decided. "Cause I need your cock, and I have at least five other major arteries to tap."

 Maddox laughed again, as he easily did when he was with Hunter. Things were always easy with Hunter. "Breakfast burritos?" he mumbled as he kissed Hunter's neck. "You know, the place around the corner that's open late. I'm always craving one after sex with you."

 Hunter reached for his phone with Maddox still nuzzling his neck and his cock still inside him. Maddox regretfully pulled out when he needed to let Hunter stretch just a little further to the nightstand where his phone was charging. He swiped to unlock it and proceeded with the order on Door Dash while Maddox left hickies all along his neck. And not once did Maddox wish he was with anyone else.

#mashton #lashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #5sos #5sos fic #5sos smut #thunder kings #ch: maddox fray #ch: hunter jackson #ch: josh perry #sh: hunter and maddox #sh: josh and maddox #writing*

[polarnacht1]

Wish You Were Here (1/?)

Jalec Rating: E Tags: AU, Dark Clary, Angst, H/C, Dark Magic, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Love, Runes, Getting Together, Feelings Realization, Smut, Frottage, Virgin Alec

Summary:

Alec and Jace’s relationship is still fresh and fragile when Clary stumbles in their lives and turns their world upside down.

Whereas Jace sees himself in Clary and wants to help her, Alec is wary of her and her intentions, fueled by Clary’s obvious attraction towards Jace and his own insecurities. Does Jace reciprocate her feelings? If not, as Jace claims, then why does their bond feel empty, why is it acting so strangely?

Meanwhile Clary is intent on achieving her goals: Find her mother and the Mortal Cup, but foremost make Jace hers, no matter the cost - even if that cost is Alec’s soul or life.

Read on A03 Written for @fandomtrumpshate

#jalec #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #jace wayland #jace herondale #fandom trumps hate #parabatai #shadowhunters fic

[lukeshemmings]

5SOS APPRECIATION WEEK ♡ DAY FOUR angst | ex-lovers | supernatural AU: shadowhunters!sos 

i would take a bullet for you just to prove my love only to find out you are the one holding the gun

summary: maddox turns to hunter for comfort when he realizes josh will never love him back in the same way. characters: maddox fray (ashton irwin), hunter bane (michael clifford), josh wayland (luke hemmings), heather lightwood (sarah jeffery), carter penhallow (nick hargrove) ships: maddox/hunter. mentions of josh/maddox, josh/heather, heather/carter content:  angst, smut, hurt/comfort (warnings: blood play, choking, unprotected sex) playlist: motion - luke word count: 5k notes: this fic/universe is based on the mortal instruments/shadowhunters tv show. maddox and josh are both shadowhunters. hunter is a vampire. parabatai is “a pair of Nephilim warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, their souls bound together by oath and their angelic bond.” josh and maddox are parabatai. they are also forbidden to fall in love with each other.

Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek. 

They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely. 

Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

It happened shortly after Heather's ex, Carter, left. Maybe they hadn't even waited until then... Maddox suspected that Josh had been sleeping with Heather while they were still hooking up. He didn't really care, because he'd ultimately gotten what he wanted and needed. He saw them together again today after Carter's departure and he knew that he wouldn't be with Josh again. He wondered if he'd even realized it was the last time while it was happening. Maybe he could talk Josh into one more time, but Maddox's heart wasn't in it once he knew that Josh had Heather available to him again. He cared about her. He was falling in love with her, and Maddox would know it the entire time they were together. No. He couldn't be with Josh again.

 Although Josh pleaded with him not to push him away, he was going to have to for at least a little while. He wasn't setting foot in the Institute unless it was to report for a mission. Fuck, he deserved vacation. When the hell had any of them ever gotten a break from risking their lives? Maddox wagered that he'd saved enough mundane lives at this point to merit a fucking week to fall apart and somehow put himself back together. He arrived at Hunter's loft and didn't really give him any warning before kissing him. Just like that, Maddox was inside the door and his lips were on Hunter's. He didn't have to say anything for him to understand what was happening. Maddox told him about Josh, and they both knew this day would come. Hunter promised that he'd be there.

 Immediately, Hunter's hands were softly cupping Maddox's face as he kissed him back deeply. It was the kind of intensity that Maddox needed. He pushed the door closed behind him and started pawing at Hunter's clothes already. He tugged up his loose t-shirt and while Hunter finished shedding it, Maddox slipped out of his leather jacket. He pulled his black t-shirt over his head and finally, he was able to pull Hunter's body flush with his and feel their skin touch. Hunter was cool against his warmth, which kind of got him a little hard every time. He navigated Hunter's apartment with ease, guiding him back with every step while unzipping his pants. By the time they reached the bedroom, Maddox had pushed both pants and boxers down. He shoved Hunter hard back onto the bed naked.

 The moment they broke apart was a second that Maddox might've had to think and let his unhappy circumstances and heartbreak sink in but the sight of Hunter naked on his black sheets completely consumed him. His cock was straining his skinny jeans by now, and Maddox hissed at the pain and difficulty of unzipping his pants. He was impatient and finally pushed them down his legs along with his boxers. He stood there a moment to let Hunter look at him just like he had earlier. Maddox couldn't help noting with a smirk how much Hunter's dick twitched while looking at him. That's when Maddox couldn't stand it any longer and he crawled onto the bed. He was on top of Hunter in seconds and grabbed his hands when Hunter eagerly reached for his hips. Maddox pinned them above his head and leaned down to kiss Hunter deeply.

 "Are you gonna behave tonight or are you gonna be a little brat?" he asked against Hunter's lips, grinding down on him so he could feel his dick. Maddox made it clear what kind of mood he was in. He could've fucked him right then and there, but he was riding the high of control. It was one thing he'd never had in his relationship with Josh. Maddox hadn't chosen to fallen in love with him in the first place, and right now he hated his parabatai for making him. There was really no choice. The second Maddox saw Josh, he'd fallen hard.

 "I don't know, I guess we'll just have to see..." Hunter smirked with a devious twinkle in his eye.

 Maddox released Hunter's hands so that he could start to climb up his body to his head. He placed one knee on either side of his head looked down at Hunter with his cock literally in his face. "Lube me up if you wanna be fucked," he told him as he reached down to cradle Hunter's head and lift him up. He shivered when Hunter placed a kiss on his thigh and let out a low whine. He pressed Hunter's head there to indicate he wanted more. "Bite me," Maddox begged. He knew the blood filling his cock and pulsing hard through the artery in his thigh must drive Hunter crazy. "Please," he whimpered. He needed to lose himself in this.

 It wasn't that Hunter was trying to disobey purposefully. He would've done what Maddox asked immediately because he wanted it too, but he knew what Maddox had just gone through. He wasn't in the greatest frame of mind, and this was serious. Maddox looked down pleadingly. "Please," he whispered.

 Hunter always took direction well and he finally wrapped his arms around Maddox's thick, muscled thighs. He pulled him closer and kissed along his thigh to the point he wanted, directly over the femoral artery. Hunter was a tease, sucking on Maddox's skin and nipping it but not with his fangs. Maddox growled impatiently and tugged on Hunter's hair roughly. "Hunter," he whined and pressed his head down again. This time, the vampire gave in and pulled away just enough to let his fangs descend. He licked over the spot before he sank his teeth into Maddox's skin. Not even giving him a moment to process the wave of pleasure that hit him, Hunter reached for Maddox's cock and pumped his hand along the shaft while he drank from him.

 Maddox had to let go of Hunter's head with one hand, slamming it against the wall to steady himself. The pleasure was so overwhelming at once that he thought he might've blacked out, and he was seeing stars. As much as he would've loved to watch what Hunter was doing to him, he couldn't even open his eyes. His head was dropped back as he moaned shamelessly. It ended too soon for his liking, but Maddox knew that Hunter wanted to be careful not to take too much blood. Especially if they were planning on having more sex. Maddox confessed that he'd probably want to fuck constantly just to feel better and stop thinking for a little while. He wanted Hunter to taste him again, and that meant being careful.

 Hunter was always annoyingly persistent about it. He remembered that Maddox got hungry even when Maddox hadn't thought about it. He always kept food now since their sex usually left Maddox pretty ravenous. It was very sweet and domestic and thoughtful. Maddox liked being thought of, and that was one thing he always knew was true when it came to Hunter. He thought of Maddox constantly and always put him first. He wasn't the second choice that he'd settled with for the meantime until he found something better. Hunter was open about how special he believed Maddox was, and his attraction to him always caught Maddox by surprise.

 He was confident in his looks and even more so his skill in bed, but Hunter was so attracted to everything about him. It gave Maddox a kind of power he wasn't sure he'd ever had before, and it actually made him the slightest bit shy. Maddox was so used to the role he played with Josh that he'd never once considered the possibility that to someone else, he was Josh. He was the sexiest man they'd ever seen, the one they wanted most, the person they couldn't stop thinking about... that's how Hunter saw him. He had, from the very beginning. Maddox was the one that downplayed the seriousness of what they had, chasing an impossible fantasy with Josh that was ultimately going to leave him empty and alone.

 Hunter withdrew his fangs from Maddox's skin and sucked a little on the two small wounds, licking over them to capture the last traces of blood. He tormented Maddox with how slowly he kissed up towards his groin. It took everything in Maddox not to just force his cock into Hunter's mouth. When he finally felt the warm wetness of Hunter's mouth, he was sucking on one of his balls. He massaged the other one gently with his hand before capturing it with his mouth too. Maddox whined, clenching his hand into a fist in Hunter's hair.

 His cock was aching and at long last, Hunter licked along his length to the tip. He was taking his time to swirl his tongue around the head of Maddox's cock and suck on it teasingly. However, the moment he finally wrapped his lips around it, Maddox didn't give him a chance to change his mind. He thrust himself into Hunter's mouth and forced him to take his full length down his throat. Hunter didn't technically need to breathe, which made him excellent when it came to deepthroating. His lips were made to suck cock. Maddox thought about it the moment he'd met Hunter. He knew he'd want those lips around his dick, and Maddox eagerly fucked his mouth while cradling his head.

 "That's it, baby, choke on me," Maddox praised him. He kept himself buried down Hunter's throat sometimes, just to make him gag and feel his throat muscles clench around him. He was getting off on being in control of the pleasure, and he finally pulled Hunter's head off his cock. "Fuck, your mouth is so good," Maddox groaned. "You deserve to be fucked for taking all of me like that." He reached down to wipe the spit off Hunter's swollen lips and pumped his own cock that was now slick from Hunter's mouth.

 "Fuck me, please," Hunter begged. He helped Maddox shift back down his body and between his legs. Maddox was impatient to kiss Hunter and he was pleased to taste the faintest hint of blood in his mouth, metallic against his tongue. He sucked on Hunter's lip while he positioned himself at his entrance. Maddox didn't wait and continued to kiss Hunter while he pressed inside him.

 "Ah- ah-" he scolded Hunter when he felt him grabbing onto his body. Maddox reached for Hunter's hands again and pinned them. Now that he was inside Hunter, he kept rocking his hips down to bury himself again and again. Their bodies were pressed together and Maddox didn't stop kissing him. Hunter was moaning through their kisses and eventually, he decided that he wanted to hear more of it. He kissed down to Hunter's neck and started to suck on the skin to leave mark, all while continuing to thrust into him a little harder every time. He held tight to Hunter's wrists and kept fucking him so he could drink in the sounds of Hunter's groans and cries growing louder. "You're mine," he growled in his ear. "Say it."

 "I'm yours," Hunter repeated so quickly. No hesitation.

 "Beg me to make you come," Maddox ordered. He slowed the roll of his hips, continuing to pump himself inside Hunter but with deliberate slowness. The blond vampire whined underneath him.

 "Please, Maddox," he said in a rush. He was so shameless, so ready to fall apart for Maddox. He'd do anything this man said. "Make me come. Fuck me harder, please. I want your cock. Harder, please. Please fuck me-"

 Maddox released one of Hunter's wrists so that he could grasp his throat. He returned his mouth to Hunter's and kissed him while squeezing a little tighter on his throat. Hunter's gasps and moans were strangled and Maddox started fucking him properly again. He took him even harder this time and he enjoyed Hunter's struggles to speak with his hand crushing his windpipe. Maddox eventually had to let go so he could use his arm to help balance while he fucked Hunter faster. He was getting close to his own orgasm, but he wanted to feel Hunter fall apart first. He wanted to hit that spot inside him with every thrust, and Maddox groaned with the effort and the restraint of denying his own pleasure.

 "Maddox!" Hunter moaned loudly. They were both panting in the air between them, neither able to kiss the other anymore because they were so lost in the moment and their own pleasure. Maddox didn't relent until he felt Hunter fall apart and his release spilling between them. That's when he could finally let go, pumping a few more times into him before he came hard. He fucked him through his orgasm and drew it out as long as possible. His motions significantly slowed but he needed those last few deep strokes inside Hunter.

 Finally, he pulled out and he also collapsed on top of Hunter with exhaustion from how hard he'd gone since the moment Hunter opened the door. It seemed to take forever yet was finished in a second. Time was distorted to Maddox, and all he knew is that he wanted to stay in the moment with Hunter as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to remember that the man he loved was someone that he was actually forbidden to love. If only it worked like that, and Maddox could've spared himself this pain by simply not falling for Josh in the first place. He wasn't Josh's choice. No matter how good they were together, it was somehow not enough.

 Apparently it wasn't good enough because it wasn't what she could give him. The girl that could make Josh decide to fall in love again, even when he'd sworn to never fall for anyone again after he'd lost Audrey. Heather could do that for him, and Maddox was just someone he passed the time with. Josh swore it was special to him, and deep down Maddox knew that it mattered. The intimacy was impossible to ignore during the moments they'd spent in bed. It was personal and real, but it was also easy for Maddox to dismiss when he was bitter and hurt that he still wasn't the one Josh wanted a future with at the end of the day.

 Maddox didn't like that he was thinking about Josh seconds after his orgasm with Hunter still underneath him. How was it so hard to shake him? Maddox wanted just one moment of fucking freedom. He desperately continued kissing Hunter's neck, panting for air because of all the energy he'd just exerted. His breathlessness wasn't enough to make him slow down. He reached Hunter's lips and kissed him deeply and eagerly. He tried to get lost in those full lips and the comfort they brought him, but suddenly something wet touched his cheek. Maddox didn't fully realize he was crying until some of the tears had trickled down onto Hunter's cheeks too while they kissed.

 Once he realized what was happening, Maddox pulled away abruptly. He recoiled from Hunter and dropped over to his side in bed. He turned away from Hunter and curled tightly into a ball while sobs began to rack his body. He hadn't grieved yet since his first time with Josh. It was bound to happen eventually as the weight of everything caught up to him. He cried for the unfairness of the situation and how selfish he felt demanding comfort from Hunter when he was in love with someone else. He was embarrassed by his own emotions and his tears. Emotions were something Maddox did his hardest to bury unless they were useful to him, like his anger and ambition and determination. His fiercely protective nature and killer instincts were one thing, but heartbreak was not something that Maddox was taught to handle. Certainly not being heartbroken over his parabatai.

 Whether he deserved it or not, Hunter made the decision for him and wrapped his arm around him. Hunter curled up behind him and pulled Maddox against his broad chest. Although he felt like absolute shit for what he was doing and didn't believe he deserved this kindness, he allowed himself to sink into Hunter. He leaned back into his chest and let Hunter squeeze his arm around him. He cried until he had no tears left, for the moment anyway, and his voice had gone slightly hoarse. Silence fell between them but Hunter didn't prompt Maddox to speak.

 He drifted to sleep and awoke to the moon shining brightly through the floor-to-ceiling window. Maddox was still curled into a ball in the same position as earlier. He knew that he hadn't moved an inch because every joint in his body ached from being clenched into this tiny, constrained position. The surprising thing was that Hunter hadn't moved either. Maddox couldn't tell if he was asleep or not (he was still unclear on whether vampires actually slept the same way mundanes did) but his body was still pressed against Maddox's back. His arm was comfortably looped around Maddox's waist, and he actually smiled to himself for the first time in a long while. It felt good. He felt good.

 For the briefest of moments, waking up to find Hunter hadn't left him for even a second made him smile. He believed he was important in that moment. For a few seconds, he felt like he was special to someone who really cared whether he was okay. It wasn't even that Josh didn't care about him, because Maddox knew Josh loved him and would easily die for him. He didn't care about him in the same way. But to Hunter? Maddox was everything, and he actually believed it for a few seconds.

 That only triggered the return of tears, which Maddox had actually thought he'd completely run dry of. If Hunter had been asleep, the shaking in Maddox's shoulders told him that he was crying again. Hunter tightened the arm holding Maddox and pressed soft kisses against his bare shoulder while Maddox cried himself out again. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he knew that time had passed because the blackout shades were drawn in the bedroom now indicating that it was daytime.

 Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek.

 They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely.

 Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

 Although Hunter probably wanted to argue that Maddox should have something to eat before they did this again, he gave into him like he usually did. It was so fucking hard for him to say no to Maddox. He sank his teeth into Maddox's neck and the Shadowhunter gasped. His dick definitely twitched and he held on to the back of Hunter's neck as he drank from him. Hunter's hand sneaked down his body between them, taking hold of his half-hard cock and stroking him slowly.

 It was so easy to get the moans to fall from Maddox's lips then. He was a loud mess, and Hunter wished he could've let himself get carried away longer. He regretfully had to pull his fangs out, cleaning Maddox up with his tongue. He kissed Maddox after, knowing it's what the other man loved, and he didn't stop pumping his hand along Maddox's cock either. Maddox groaned into the kiss and let his tongue explore Hunter's mouth, licking carefully over the exposed points of his fangs. It was so hot.

 Hunter pulled away before he was really done, but Maddox couldn't complain when the blond began kissing his chest. He worked his way slowly down Maddox's body, ready to finish what he'd started the night before. He didn't taunt Maddox this time, instead wrapping his lips around Maddox's cock without hesitation. He could tell how much Maddox both needed and deserved this. Still buzzing off the high of Hunter's bite, he easily bucked his hips up into Hunter's mouth to get more stimulation. Understanding what he needed, Hunter bobbed his head along Maddox's length with increasing speed. He used his hand in combination with his mouth to keep Maddox stimulated.

 This was a blowjob for the specific purpose of getting him off as quickly as possible, and so Hunter didn't hold back. It's not like he needed to breathe anyway. He sank down on Maddox's cock deep and pulled back without much visible struggle, simply intense determination. He moaned when he felt Maddox's hand in his hair and pushing his head down. He was helping Hunter establish a rhythm the way he needed it, and Hunter let Maddox take the control he desired. Moans poured from him, and he was happy to call out Hunter's name.

 Once more Maddox had forgotten what he'd been through, if only for the briefest of times while Hunter sucked him off. He pressed Hunter's head down when he came, emptying himself down Hunter's throat and feeling him swallow. He sucked on Maddox's cock until he was finished and teased his tip even after that to help him ride out the wave of pleasure. He kissed back up the Shadowhunter's tattooed body and then kissed those beautiful lips again. Once more, Maddox was eager to taste and he met Hunter's tongue. He smirked into the kiss and deepened it before trying to speak, raggedly between kisses. "So which is better- my blood or my cum?"

 "Why can't I have both?" Hunter smarted off back.

 Maddox only smirked more, feeling the familiar rush of cocky pride that he was used to. He felt like himself for the first time in a little while. "You can," Maddox surrendered. He could've told Hunter off for being a little shit, but they both knew his answer made Maddox happy.

 "I need yours," Maddox decided and pushed Hunter over onto his back. He planted his knee between Hunter's legs and his hand beside Hunter's head. He continued kissing him for a moment longer before moving his lips down to Hunter's chest. His cool skin met Maddox's warm lips and tongue, and he took his time appreciating Hunter's body. It was something he hadn't gotten the chance to do in his eagerness last night, but now he wanted to give Hunter the attention he deserved. He wanted the vampire to understand how truly important he was to Maddox, despite the fact that Maddox was heartbroken over another man right now.

 Hunter was so expressive, giving Maddox the moans and whimpers he wanted. He sucked on the skin of his lower tummy while he deliberately ignored Hunter's arousal. He was being a little shit too.

 "Maddox, please," Hunter whined, trying to push his head down.

 Chuckling, Maddox finally pulled away and got settled between Hunter's legs. He turned his attention to Hunter's cock and grasped it firmly. He licked around the tip and took his time sucking on it, silencing any further protesting from Hunter. He was a mess now. It was almost too easy. He sank down on Hunter's cock, his own eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the rhythm of bobbing his head along the shaft.

 It was something he knew how to do so well and didn't have to think about very hard, which allowed him to get lost in the intimacy of the moment with Hunter and listening to the other man slowly come undone. He swallowed eagerly when Hunter's release hit the back of his throat. Maddox moaned loudly around Hunter's cock and helped draw out his orgasm as long as he could. Hearing Hunter scream his name never got old. He pulled off Hunter's cock and left a wet kiss on his thigh. He planted a few more before Hunter started to whine louder.

 "Maddox!" he begged. "C'mere, I wanna kiss you."

 He was so adorable actually, lost in the haze of his orgasm. Maddox couldn't deny him any longer. He crawled back up Hunter's body so that he could finally press a kiss to his lips. Hunter tried to taste himself on Maddox's tongue, moaning into their kiss. It would've been so easy to get lost in his kisses again and forget about the time or what was happening outside of this apartment. And Maddox intended to, but he needed something else more. He abruptly broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at Hunter. The blond was visibly surprised and immediately concerned. Maddox just smiled softly, happy to look into Hunter's eyes.

 "Thank you," he whispered because he was scared his voice might crack if he tried to speak any louder.

 "Oh, baby," Hunter breathed. He melted. He reached up to stroke Maddox's cheek with his thumb. "You're welcome. I'm here for you, always."

 Maddox let himself take in Hunter's touch for a moment, breathing out shakily. When his lip began to quiver and tears threatened to fall if he looked at Hunter any longer, he leaned back down for another passionate kiss and let it speak for him.

 His dick was already getting hard again as he grinded against Hunter while they kissed. His cock was still spent from his blowjob earlier, so it was easy to press himself inside Hunter once he guided himself to his entrance. Hunter gasped into the kiss which just made Maddox kiss him harder. He started rocking himself inside Hunter but more slowly and deliberately each time he rolled his hips down. He kissed Hunter so emotionally the whole time, setting a steady pace with his thrusts.

 This time, the vampire was able to hold onto Maddox's hips with one hand and help pull him down each time he rocked his hips forward. His other hand was down Maddox's strong back, the muscles rolling underneath the touch of Hunter's fingertips, flexed to help him balance on top of Hunter while he fucked him. They were both a mix of moans and heavy breathing between every kiss.

 He'd been reluctant to say these words until now, despite knowing that he felt them. He thought it would be confusing considering the fact that he was currently heartbroken over Josh. Just because Josh was his first love, it didn't mean he was his only love.

 Maddox broke their kiss and pressed his forehead against Hunter's. "I love you," he confessed with trembling breaths. "I know it's fucking complicated cause I still love Josh but fuck, baby... I love you too. I love you so fucking much." He'd never confessed that to anyone before. He'd only said it to Josh before, and that didn't seem like such a scary thing to do when Josh already knew.

 "Maddox..." Hunter's voice cracked. He tilted his chin up and captured Maddox's lips in another kiss. "I love you too."

 The tension coiled in Maddox's chest abruptly released, and he gasped against Hunter's mouth. He kissed him with renewed fervor. "I love you," he repeated. Maddox thrust into him a little harder and deeper. He repeated the words again and again as he picked up his pace, intent on bringing Hunter to his climax now. "Moan for me, only me," he told him. "Say my name." He groaned and panted against Hunter's mouth as he pumped into him with determination. Hunter was falling apart against his lips, whimpering and moaning.

 "Maddox!" he cried out. Practically begging for more, and that's what Maddox gave him. He made sure to bottom out every time he thrust into Hunter, wanting him to feel it where he needed it most. Maddox was drinking in Hunter's screams, waiting for the one that would accompany his orgasm. He felt Hunter reach his climax in every way possible. The blond dug his short nails into Maddox's back, and he screamed his name. The air between them was so heavy that Maddox swore he felt Hunter's pleasure as his own, and he didn't stop fucking him until he spilled himself inside Hunter. Maddox moaned loud and dropped his head into Hunter's shoulder. His hips stilled with him still inside Hunter. He messily kissed Hunter's neck.

 "You have to feed me before I fuck you again," Maddox teased in his ear. He chuckled happily, and he'd actually succeeded in forgetting his pain for the moment. He was looking forward to the time he'd spend with Hunter instead of lamenting the time he'd lost with Josh.

 "Okay, then let's fix that asap," Hunter quickly decided. "Cause I need your cock, and I have at least five other major arteries to tap."

 Maddox laughed again, as he easily did when he was with Hunter. Things were always easy with Hunter. "Breakfast burritos?" he mumbled as he kissed Hunter's neck. "You know, the place around the corner that's open late. I'm always craving one after sex with you."

 Hunter reached for his phone with Maddox still nuzzling his neck and his cock still inside him. Maddox regretfully pulled out when he needed to let Hunter stretch just a little further to the nightstand where his phone was charging. He swiped to unlock it and proceeded with the order on Door Dash while Maddox left hickies all along his neck. And not once did Maddox wish he was with anyone else.

#5sosedit #5sosweek21 #5sos #mashton #lashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #5sos fanfic #5sos smut #michael clifford fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #thunder kings #ch: maddox fray #ch: hunter jackson #ch: josh perry #sh: maddox and hunter #sh: josh and maddox #writing* #ours #vicki #5sosweek*

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

bright as fire

Malec | Rated general | tw presumed dead, temporary character death

Day 12: alt prompt: tears

Summary: Alec is beside Magnus when the Soul Sword goes off.

Or, pure angst (with a compulsory happy ending) ft. Magnus being in the Institute when the Soul Sword is activated.

Read it on AO3 or below the cut.

Alec is beside Magnus when the Soul Sword goes off. 

He turned the corner at a run and saw Magnus at the end of a hallway, but a flash of light lit the Institute just as Alec reached him, and he knew immediately what it was. 

How Valentine managed it doesn’t matter; all that matters is the deadly light that filled the hall, the light that seeks to take everything. 

Magnus gasps, a sharp inhale like he’s been punched, and drops to his knees before Alec can catch him. Alec is holding him in a moment, cradling him in his arms, but he can feel Magnus’ heartbeat slowing, feel that steady beat quieting, feel the world crashing down around his ears. 

“Magnus,” he’s saying, “Magnus, please, don’t die, Magnus—”

“I love you,” Magnus whispers, eyes unglamoured and impossibly beautiful, and then the eyes shutter closed and his breath grows too quiet. 

Alec tries to hold him tighter, to wake him up, but Magnus isn’t moving, his heart barely beating and growing weaker all the time. “I love you too,” he says, “I love you too, I love you, I love you,” as though repeating it can make Magnus hear it. 

There are tears on Alec’s cheeks and a scream in his soul because how can Valentine take this all away so easily, kill with such a simple choice, destroy all that Alec holds dear with one, devastating blow. Alec doesn’t know if he’s breathing, doesn’t know if his throat is sore from the litany of pleas and cries pouring from his lips, doesn’t know anything but the body in his arms whose heartbeat is slowing… slowing… stopped. 

“No,” Alec says, like it’s the only word he knows, “no, no, no no no no nononono—”

The parabatai bond is swirling with guilt and horror from Jace, but Alec’s pain is overwhelming all of it, he’s cradling in his arms the body of the man he loves and all else is nothing to the cold in his soul to the hole in his heart to the empty place where Magnus ought to be. 

His makeup is still perfect, clothes bright, eyes shut, and he might be sleeping except that he’s never this still when he sleeps and his chest isn’t rising and falling, and the terrible terrible scream in Alec’s heart goes unheard because Magnus is dead. 

Alec’s face is wet and so is Magnus’, and he can’t let go of Magnus, can’t release him from his hold. There are hands on Alec’s shoulders but he doesn’t care; people are speaking and his parabatai is caught between worry and guilt but Alec doesn’t care. He can’t care, can’t feel anything but the heavy cold grief, can’t speak anything but Magnus’ name and endless endless denials that will never deny enough. 

He closes his eyes but he can never block out the pain, can never erase the still cold face imprinted on his eyelids, can never breathe through his shattered heart. “I love you,” he says, into the silence, into the dark that is the world without Magnus’ light. 

The world is red through his closed eyelids as though sunlight is falling on his face, but he doesn’t bother opening them to see what the light is, because who cares if the sun shines when Magnus doesn’t. 

Somebody’s saying his name behind him, urgently, a voice that would usually pull him from himself but right now there is nothing but himself, nothing but the absence in himself because Magnus isn’t there. Nothing can break through the dark. 

Magnus’ body shudders in Alec’s arms, and he blinks his eyes open through the bright light because maybe they’re trying to take Magnus away and he can’t let go of him — but nobody’s pulling Magnus away, nobody’s touching him at all, and the light is pouring from Magnus. 

Magnus is glowing, lit up like the sun from within, back arched as light streams from mouth and eyes even brighter than it does through his skin. His eyes are open, though too bright for Alec to look at, and he doesn’t know what’s happening, only knows that he will hold Magnus until the end of the world. 

Then the light dims and Magnus sucks in a shuddering breath. 

“Magnus,” Alec says, voice hoarse, and Magnus blinks his eyes open — golden cat eyes that are brighter than normal, still holding some of that light that poured from him before. 

“Alexander,” Magnus says, and Alec sobs, because he hadn’t thought he’d hear his name from that voice again. 

He tugs Magnus up closer, hands cradling Magnus’ head to keep his head from falling back, eyes flickering over every inch of his face to memorise the way it moves, the way Magnus smiles like sunlight through a cloud. The world is wavering with Alec’s tears, still falling even as Alec struggles to breathe through the hope pushing up his heart. 

“Are — are you okay?” he asks, half strangled, the words incongruous but always the most important thing. 

“I think so,” Magnus said, brow furrowing as he pushed himself into a proper sitting position, still half-lying across Alec’s lap. 

Alec kisses him with all the desperation of the last few minutes, with all the love he holds. Magnus kisses him back with equal force until they’re chuckling against each others’ mouths, smiling with pure relief and love. How and why Magnus survived is a pressing question, but Alec can’t bring himself to worry about that when Magnus was here, and alive, and kissing Alec. 

“You were dead,” he gasps out when they part for the unfortunate necessity of air. “I — I felt your pulse stop, Magnus.”

“Shh,” Magnus says, soothingly, reaching up to run his fingers through Alec’s hair. “I’m alright. I’m alive.”

That, Alec thinks, as he pulls Magnus into another kiss, is all that matters.

#whumptober2022 #no.12 #altprompt #tears #fic #my fic #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #temporary character death #presumed dead #magnus x alec #malec #alec lightwood bane #alec lightwood #magnus lightwood bane #magnus bane #alec x magnus