#or justified. or means you get to dismiss it.

[thirdmagic]

everytime i look at how people compare the way russian citizens are treated in light of the russian invasion of ukraine and the way israeli people and jews are treated after oct 7th and it just.... you know, as a person who belongs to all of these cultures, it always feels extremely disingenuous to me and very untruthful

#just bc slavic xenophobia isnt as extreme and doesnt exist on the scale that antisemitism exists in doesnt like... make it okay #or justified. or means you get to dismiss it. #or that you get to pretend it hasnt been extremely ugly and in fact has existed long before the war!!!! #especially wrt people forgetting that russia's evil government is running an actual country where real human beings live in and suffer #and yes. they do. life is russia for the average person is uh. not good and hasnt been good for decades. #and no i dont think most of these people are any more pro ukranian than the antisemitic leftists are Really pro palestinian #and i think again people like to prop up their egoes by making themselves feel progressive and good. that much is similair. #i think they have just found a new and justified way to hate what they always hated but coated in progressive language #yeah the reaction to the rus-ukr war wasnt nearly as vile as to oct 7th. mostly bc nothing is as vile as the reaction to oct 7th. #yeah its not remotely the same kind of conflict. but that doesnt make it right? or okay? doesnt mean it didnt happen?

[evilvarric666-archive]

The Tenpenny Tower quest still fucks btw

#you go in there right after roy's people move in and its going so great #everyone's getting along! everyone's happy! prejudices are being overcome! #tenpenny is gone though... and you dismiss it. #because he was old and sick and honestly a huge piece of shit #like roy probably had something to do with it but.... i mean old dead allistair tenpenny was still cracking jokes #about hunting ghouls for sport up til the very end #so maybe you can let this one go. it might've been justified! and everything else is fine so. why interfere? #and then one day you walk into tenpenny tower and there are no humans left at all

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Lately I've read one defense of casual/systemic/accidental aphobia too many and I let it get to my head.

Just because people "don't mean to hurt you", that doesn't mean they don't hurt you. That shouldn't justify hurtful dismissal. Especially after you make it clear over and over again that you don't wanna be dismissed and that it hurts.

I'm all for giving people time to get educated and open their mind to things but... Yeah typically that ain't that.

Bleh.

PS: The saddest part is that despite deciding "we should be past that" the fight ain't over for anybody anyway really. But yeah, the "they just want you to be happy" excuse helps nowhere, is my point.

#no one can know i don't like sex #asexual #aromantic #aroace #tw aphobia #my art #nonburger #sorry i guess i was in a dark mood on this one somehow

[notaplaceofhonour]

it’s october 7th. you hear about the attack by seeing people you followed glorifying the terrorist attack—a massacre, a pogrom—as victory & justified resistance, glorifying a terrorist group that was founded with the explicit intent to kill your entire people

you make a post in which you make it clear you support palestinians and oppose the ways israel has wronged them, explaining that the terrorist group is still not good. you know you will probably get some flacc from the pro-Hamas side, but naively underestimate how much.

you get thousands of notifications on that one post, the majority of them hateful comments.

some of the response is positive. multiple messages thank you for the post, expressing bafflement that it’s controversial.

a few Israelis are upset at the loaded language in your post, but explain their problems with it civilly. you called Israel “apartheid”. they ask you what apartheid laws Israel has. you admit you honestly don’t know.

your inbox is flooded with anonymous hate from anti-Israel leftists.

over the course of a few weeks you have received hundreds of death threats, a dozen rape threats. people accuse you of being pro-genocide. you’re a literal Nazi. you’re racist, you thirst for the blood of Palestinians. you’re brainwashed by propaganda, a shill for The Zionist Entity. a few of the hate messages are from literal Neo-Nazis; the overwhelming majority are from leftists, many of them queer.

you are considering suicide.

you see footage of the october 7th attacks. you see footage of the bombings in gaza. you see footage of a Jewish man being murdered at an anti-Israel rally.

a popular creator you follow posts in support of an antisemitic hate group that masquerades as a Jewish organization. this organization regularly posts blood libel and other antisemitic rhetoric, works with groups that are even more explicitly antisemitic, including celebrating October 7th, holocaust inversion, blood libel, “Khazar theory” and others. more than one of the orgs they work with is pro-Putin.

your former roommate liked the post.

graffiti appears on a street you frequent that says “#freepalestine” and “end settler colonialism”

the boyfriend of the friend you spent most of the summer with makes his first post about the war. it’s a reposted comic that mocks and downplays the october 7th attack.

you doubt he’ll be receptive to criticism. he’s shared leftist memes about “monied elites” pulling all the strings and evangelicals being modern day “pharisees” in the past, and getting him to understand why that was antisemitic was like herding cats. you try anyway.

another of his Jewish friends also pushes back. he smugly dismisses her, tells her she’s falling for Zionist propaganda and uses several antisemitic tropes. you go off on him. he just deletes your comment.

you give up. you’re done. you block him.

you see anti-Israel posters and billboards around town

you mention what happened with the guy you went off on to his girlfriend—the friend you’ve grown very close to, who you’ve been listening to as she unburdens her fears for the future and complains about her bf’s BS over the last year. she doesn’t respond to you.

a friend of a friend shares posts tokenizing fringe groups that spread blood libel and have collaborated with holocaust deniers. you know they don’t know what you know, so you explain what those groups are. they seem somewhat receptive, apologize, and take it down

the next day they share several more posts that dip into antisemitic tropes. you mention this to your mutual friend, that you’re worried about them being radicalized. you’re not sure how receptive they’ll be to continued criticism

you have a confrontation with the foaf. in the meantime they’ve shared even more antisemitic posts. they say they didn’t mean to cause you distress but instead of stopping they effectively block you.

the “end settler colonialism” vandalism has been counter-vandalized with the words “commie propaganda” in place of “settler colonialism”. you don’t know if this is an improvement.

a month passes. the friend whose bf you went off on still hasn’t spoken to you. you see she shared a post defending an SJP chapter that posted Nazi cartoon caricatures of Jews repurposed in “Anti-Zionist” memes. you unfriend her on all social media platforms but you can’t bring yourself to block her number.

you see a friend of someone whose couch you surfed when you were homeless harassing Jewish celebrities with “Free Palestine” comments. you block them.

you’ve lost count of how many people you’ve unfollowed or blocked, or who’ve blocked you. friends, content creators.

when a friend takes an unusually long time to respond you worry if it’s because of your posts about antisemitism.

most of the podcasts, youtube channels, and other content creators you regularly engaged with no longer feel safe. you wonder who will be next

a couple friends wish you a happy hanukkah. you don’t celebrate much aside from lighting the hanukkiah and making some latkes.

you see posts about a destroyed chabad menorah, antisemitic comments on Jewish celebrities’ Hanukkah posts.

your neighborhood is covered in pro-Palestine & anti-Israel posters. some are seemingly innocuous, some are JVP “not in our name” posters. some call for intifada. “globalize the intifada” “Zionists fuck off!” “solidarity means attack!”

a man kills himself shouting “free palestine”. you learn about his suicide by seeing posts from several popular accounts you followed glorifying it.

you follow a bunch of jewish accounts on social media and commiserate with them about everything happening

your jewish friends post screenshots of the dead man’s antisemitic, pro-Hamas views. you look at his reddit and find even more horrific shit: anti-Ukraine posts. mocking Zelensky. “elites” are “lizard people”; the only named individual he calls a lizard person is Jewish. you start to notice a pattern: a lot of the people he dislikes just so happen to be jews.

several people you know share a post glorifying this man’s suicide. most are acquaintances, one is someone incredibly important to you.

you wonder how they would respond to your suicide.

you tell the close friend that shared this post how it scares you. you show them the receipts of the man’s antisemitism. their response is a single sentence. they didn’t know about the antisemitism.

they don’t apologize.

you notice none of your irl friends, even your closest ones, interact with your posts about antisemitism. you are able to vent to a couple friends, but no one has reach out to you

you try not to read into it. you try not to take it personally.

you haven’t slept well in months. you’ve always been an insomniac but not like this. you’re not sleeping until 4am, 6am, even 9am. even when you get to bed at a decent hour and get a full night’s rest it takes you hours to get out of bed.

a few weeks go by. the friend with the single sentence response shares a post saying they’re excited and proud to join a group to help palestinians. you’re excited and proud for them.

a couple days later, they share a post about a fundraiser to help a palestinian family get out of gaza. you note to yourself this is a much more effective & less concerning form of activism than the pro-suicidal antisemite post.

your friend shares another post about the fundraiser. it’s a joint post between their group and another group.

you open the other group’s page

the page is just a wall of signs from rallies. you swipe through one after another: “from the river to the sea”, “by any means necessary”, justifying/denying the atrocities of october 7th, calling for violent revolution. anything done in the name of resistance can’t be terrorism, all Israelis are terrorists. Jews aren’t indigenous; they’re white colonizers. holocaust inversion. other vile, thinly veiled violent rhetoric

you feel sick to your stomach imagining talking to your friend about it.

you already feel like you’re burdening the few friends you can talk to about this. you already feel like you think about it too much, talk about it too much. but you can’t not think about it; it affects every aspect of your life.

you’ve filtered out relevant keywords on more than one social media site to avoid the worst of it. some still manages to leak through.

there isn’t a single friend you regularly interact with that you don’t fear the moment when they will switch from listening to your concerns to seeing you as the evil zionist or indoctrinated hasbaranik they’ve been warned about.

it’s not an irrational fear. it keeps happening. you knew it would then, and you were powerless to do anything about it before, and you continue to be as it happens again and again.

you don’t know what to do about any of it.

#idk just kinda wanted to document what this has been like all back to back #I know some of these on their own might come across as ​not that big of a deal but all together #they add up #tw for the all of it #cw trauma dump #antisemitism #i/p #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #tw death threats #tw rape threats #tw october 7th #tw terrorism

[periprose]

Hi! :)

I’m craving some Logan Howlett angsty fluff and I really like your writing style… Do you think you could maybe do a fic where either Logan and reader are in the heat of the moment and his claws come out and he scratches her. Or where Logan has a nightmare and the same thing happens. Either way the reader ends up comforting him.

Thank you! 🩷 :)

Hi!! So sorry for getting to this so late 🥹 loved the idea btw :) ended up doing a bit of a mix of both? If that makes sense.

/

"Out with it."

Your voice rings out clearly among the X-Men, the throng of battle no longer around you all. It was a more exhausting battle than you would've thought, but nothing irks you more than knowing that Logan has been apparently thinking of you as someone to play babysitter to. He hadn't trusted you to make your final blow to the enemy, and instead scooped you away to safety before lashing out with his own claws.

Logan clearly has something to say to you, and you want to hear it. You're not going to let him escape again- the way he always does, nonchalantly, refusing to acknowledge how he treats you.

Charles stiffens next to you in the helicarrier. Watching the tension, feeling the palpable heart-wrenching sensation between you and Logan. He doesn't know how you got to this point.

"Listen. Just because you didn't have it doesn't mean you're not a good X-Man-" Logan starts dismissively.

"But I did! I did have it!" You shout back at him, and then inhale carefully. "Nobody told you to rescue me, Logan. If I was about to die, then I was. I wanted that to be on my own terms."

"Don't talk like you're a fucking martyr when you've never had the privilege, kid." Logan's unnecessarily harsh tone has you flinching. "Do you know how many people I've seen die, for no good reason? Do you really want a bunch of Pentagon psychos to be your last memory?"

"Shut up." You shift in your seat, feeling small. "We don't get to choose when we die. Not like you."

Logan becomes visibly angered with that, the little taunt you've made towards his immortality. "That doesn't mean you have to go seek it out, dumbass."

"Oh really? Don't tell me you're getting soft, Logan." You glare at him, and Charles and Jean and Scott look at each other uncertainly. "Just because your life is so long doesn't mean the rest of us have forgotten what it means to be alive."

There's an unspoken, sudden charge in the air, now that you've mentioned what everyone else has the good sense to shut up about- Logan having lived so long and not caring about the consequences of his actions. Logan's eyes narrow until you feel sure that you've pushed him too far this time- he looks more animal than human, more Wolverine than ever- and you feel yourself inching forward, letting the anger of not being understood push you to fighting him- and Charles suddenly raises his hand in protest.

"Please, you two. I'm not sure what has transpired today, but I know you are better than choosing to have a physical altercation on a helicarrier flight." His calm, soothing tone makes you feel a little disappointed in yourself, and you settle back in your seat, refusing to meet his or Jean's glances of concern.

/

All you really wanted was an apology. A "Sorry, I won't do that again." Or even an explanation for why Logan keeps tabs on you all the time, never letting you be a real part of the X-Men, always safely on the sidelines. Were you just too weak?

Should you even be here?

You feel guilty for what you said to him. It's not a bad thing, you know, that Logan doesn't want you to get hurt- it's just that you want to do your job. You're not a kid.

It almost, almost justifies how you treated him, but even you know that was too far. You can't act as if you know Logan's life story- not even Charles or Jean would claim to do that, and they've searched his mind for memories several times.

Like it or not, the man was mysterious. He kept to himself on a lot of things, citing past hurt as his reason why- and you should've respected that.

"Maybe I am weak." You mutter to yourself, wondering why you can't restrain your emotions around Logan.

You're practicing shooting small, psionic blasts towards the target in your room- it's a great way to pass the time when you can't sleep- when you hear a groan, a shudder, an angry, deep growl-

It sounds like Logan. His room is right above yours, and the sounds are definitely coming from there- you hear him yell, and before you can stop yourself, you're bounding up the stairs to the third floor of the X-Mansion, bursting through his room's door with a ready hand, in case you need to fight.

/

Logan watches as you berate him in his dream.

Actually, it's not quite you- it's some venomous, evil, witch wearing your face. You giggle at him- you call him old- you don't take him seriously.

With every taunt, you fire another bright purple blast at him- and for once, his body doesn't heal instantaneously. He is getting old, getting hurt, watching as blood pools out of him. It's agonizingly painful.

He's going to die this time, without making it right with you- he's afraid that you're right about him, that he's a washed up sad old man who can't ever let people in.

"We don't need you anymore, Logan..." The not-you whispers softly, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, and Logan can't help but believe it.

His self preservation instincts kick in, and he launches forward, snarling, claws out with a sharp snikt sound. He feels that even though he'll regret your death, he'll miss you immensely, it's just one more tally mark to several others.

/

"Logan. Logan!"

You're leaning over Logan's sweaty, clammy body in his bed. You watch as his hands fist in the sheets, and he tosses and turns in agony- you breathe in hesitation, in fear that he's not going to be okay- he grunts suddenly, and you're reminded of how Rogue tells you about his nightmares. They're frequent.

How out of touch could you have been today?

You gently-yet-firmly grab Logan's arm, shaking, and his arms move forward in a self-defense mechanism that seems practiced, as if he's been attacked in his sleep before, and before you can move away, there's a sharp snikt sound, a quick wave of claws, and a searing pain in your side.

It all happens before you can even blink. You fall off to the side, on the floor, writhing in pain. Logan's claws just nicked your side, it's essentially a scratch- but the pain is so much worse than you're expecting, and you fall to the floor again as you try to get up.

You breathe in harshly, holding back a sob, as you feel wet blood pooling through the side of your night dress.

"Jesus Christ." Logan pounces off the bed, waking to blood all over his claws, and he's leaning over your body, as you blink up at him hesitantly. He immediately panics, lifting you up and resting you on his squatted thighs. "Kid! Hey, kid, don't close your eyes-"

"..." You're just barely hanging on, but you listen.

And Logan feels that same sense of shame he felt when he attacked Rogue, when Jean "died", every single time he had accidentally unsheathed his claws towards someone who didn't deserve it.

Doubly so, considering it's like his terrible nightmare has come to life. But you absolutely didn't do anything wrong- he can't believe he was so angry with you.

He calls for help, in a slightly broken tone, and no one seems to be coming.

"Just a scratch." You try, but Logan shakes his head.

"No, no, no." Logan spits out. "How could I- I never meant to-"

"I'm sorry, Logan." You cough, and Logan feels awful that you're apologizing while bleeding out due to his actions. "I shouldn't have said what I said. You're not some unreliable old man who doesn't care..."

You flinch at a sudden, sharp pain, and Logan motions for you to stop talking, but you keep going.

"If anything, you're the opposite. You're there for me. And I'm sorry that I got so... so angry at you for that." You mutter to yourself, not aware of how Logan hangs onto your words. "You're protecting me from making mistakes, and I'm grateful."

"No, kid. You had a point before." Logan interjects, but you shake your head.

"Did I? Or was I being a brat?" You grimace at yourself.

"You did have a point. I was being selfish," Logan shakes his head and then swallows that urge to push you away. "I don't always know how to leave people well enough alone. Sometimes I'm too much."

He hesitates, and then continues on. "Like, I treat you as if you're a nuisance, right? But I always... I always want you next to me. And I know I should just sort my shit out like an adult. But I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Of what happens. What always happens." Logan sighs in defeat. "I fall in love, and they die. I find my people, and they leave me because I'm such a jackass. There's too much surrounding me that just... ruins everything."

"No, no. I won't leave." You tighten your hand around Logan's, and he, despite wanting to say that you're wounded because of him, believes you. He's so grateful to hear you say it- he had no idea that's what was weighing on him so badly.

He loves you, he knows he does. Logan has never been the best with feelings, but for once, he's glad he was honest.

The first thing Scott sees when he finally makes his way to Logan's room, from all the way across the X-Mansion, is Logan whispering "I'm sorry," and... he thinks (he's not 100% sure), "I love you," to your very forlorn, softly curved-around-him body.

It's a very tender moment, and Scott feels he should leave.

Then Logan presses a firm, shaky kiss on your forehead, and then your lips, and you, with your limited reserve of energy, kiss him back, and then Scott interjects with:

"Hey!...?"

He seems taken aback as you both look at him. "I heard screaming? What is this, some sort of weird cult sacrificial scenario?"

"Logan... had a... nightmare..." You wince, and Scott sees the red on your night gown. "I need... medical attention."

"On it." Scott glances at Logan for permission, and he's currently trying to push all these mushy feelings back into his chest where they belong, and he wants to be there to help you in the clinic, but he's flustered with everything that's happened and he can only hand you to Scott without looking at him.

Scott smirks to himself as he runs you to the clinic of the X-Mansion.

"You and Logan, huh? I knew there was something in that fight today." Scott remarks as you cling to him.

"It's taken an embarrassingly long time for me to figure it out, but yeah." You blush. "Has everyone else...?"

"Jean's been running a bet for the last year." Scott laughs. "She says you both are two sides of the same coin."

You can't help but agree.

#logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett angst #logan howlett x you #wolverine x you #wolverine x reader #wolverine #old man logan #wolverine angst #james logan howlett x reader #marvel x reader #xmen x reader #x men x reader #x-men #x-men x reader #x-men angst #ask #requests

[fangswbenefits]

Broken

𓂅 𓄹 Summary: You wonder if Miguel is broken beyond repair, because he surely believes that.

𓂅 𓄹 Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x spider-woman!reader

Angst + hurt/comfort (some fluff)

To say you were pissed off would be the understatement of the year. There was only so much a single person could withstand when it came to this.

You kept shoving your belongings hurriedly inside your backpack, determined to leave his place before crossing paths.

It would be better this way. For everyone involved.

That was until you caught sight of flashes of electric red outside the bedroom window.

“For fuck’s sake…”

You took pride in being fast, but Miguel O’Hara was faster and far more relentless, and before you could react, he was standing tall beside you. “Hey.”

Your spine snapped straight like a whip and you glared at him. Unmasked and unmoving. There was guilt written on all over his face, which fueled your anger even more, because now you knew you were justified in your feelings.

“Bye,” you said, slinging the backpack over your shoulder and heading towards the open window ready to take a dive into the cool air of Nueva York.

“We should talk,” he called from behind you.

“Nah, we’re done.”

“Let’s talk.”

You turned back around, walking straight into his chest.

“I’m done with you,” you said with an indignant growl.

“You’re not being reasonable,” he said.

“Reasonable?!” you hissed. “You let our personal relationship get in between work! You dismissed my perfectly adequate advice during that mission, because I’m just some toy to you or whatever.”

He held up a finger. “Now, see, that’s the issue. You keep misunderstanding things.”

“Okay,” you huffed, reining in your temper as you planted your fists on your hips. “Tell me why you ignored my advice — no, tell me why you always do this. I’ve been here for years and any new recruit has more of a say than I do! Is that because we’re fucking, huh?”

You hadn't bothered to keep you voice down, which you knew was a sure way to get on his nerves, but you couldn’t care less.

But evidently Miguel did care. “Can you calm down so we can talk?”

“You don’t take me seriously,” your went on. “I mean, what is this? I don’t know what to do with whatever it is we have — had,” you promptly corrected yourself. “We screw around, I then try to prove myself on the field, and you shut me down like I’m a nuisance.”

You were about to turn to leave through the window when he held it one hand to you, causing you to roll your eyes and folding your arms. “You’re not sweet-talking your way out of this.”

“That's alright, then.”

Miguel’s hand fell to his side, and he just stood there in silence, eyes boring into yours.

You scowled at him. “Well?” you demanded. “Go on. Why so quiet now?”

“I know you’re upset with me,” he said, face hardening.

“Nice observation skills.”

“I shouldn’t have been that harsh,” he sighed.

You scoffed. “It keeps happening, so it’s a habit by now. We’re both old enough to know fully well how to separate personal from professional, right?”

“I do, but you don’t,” he said simply. “You need to understand my position here. It’s a great deal of responsibility, and you can’t expect to be favoured just because we got involved.”

“Excuse me? I never expected favouritism.”

“But it sure looks like it. Look,” he exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “In here, you have my attention, but out there I need to have yours. For the sake of each mission.”

Your stomach flipped at his words. “Attention? What attention, Miguel? Aren’t we just fuck buddies? Wasn’t that the understanding?”

His shoulders slumped. “Initially, yes. And I could stand here and blame it on you, but it’s entirely my fault.”

“Now, why would I be blamed? And for what?” you asked impatiently. There was this unshakeable feeling creeping in on you telling you he was merely speaking in riddles with the sole intent of being purposefully vague. “Are we just going to throw blame at—”

“Because you have feelings for me!” Miguel’s temper finally exploded.

Your mouth dropped open in shock, but no sound came out.

An empty silence weaved around you, filled only with the beeping sound of Miguel’s watch which he promptly silenced.

He had made it abundantly clear that your relationship was purely built on the principle of mutual pleasure. You both had needs, and it was a very straightforward ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ type of deal — albeit concerning different body parts.

Miguel broke the deafening silence first. “Trust me, it was against my better judgment.”

“Why didn’t you stop, then?”

There was no point in denying the feelings you harboured for him. There was only so much intimacy one could experience with someone else before other thoughts crept through your mind.

But what really made your heart clench was that mownyou knew that he knew, and it made things worse. So much worse.

Miguel took a long and deep breath. “Because by the time I realised how you felt, I found myself enjoying your company more than I had anticipated.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I should have stopped it,” he went on. “I don’t like dealing with attachments. Those lead to liabilities.”

Well, you’d sworn to yourself not to cry because of this. But the lump was in your throat and your eyes stung, and when you spoke your voice had turned into a whisper. "You should have told me," you said through clenched teeth.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t want to put that pressure on you!” you exploded, feeling your eyes water. “I knew it was one-sided, so what would be the point? But knowing that you now know just makes me feel so…”

Miguel paced to his bed, taking a seat by the edge. “This is why I said it’s my fault. I can’t have this in my life.”

Your eyes widened. “Have what?”

“This!” he grunted, motioning with both hands to the two of you. “This is what I do. I get involved and fuck things up.”

“You can’t control how others feel about you,” you said as you brushed a teardrop with the back of your hand. “All I want is your respect.”

“You have it.”

“Then show it! Your words mean nothing if you don’t act accordingly.”

Miguel let out an exasperated sigh. “You want what I can never give you.”

“Respect?”

He shook his head. “Love.”

The word carved into you like a dagger and not because it was a lie, but because it was painfully true.

“Why do you think I fell for you? The sex? Sure, it’s great or whatever,” you said, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. “No, Miguel. You showed me a side of you that you show no one else. You made me feel special.”

He seemed taken aback, but said nothing.

“Everyone here thinks you’re cold and distant and some vessel of righteousness,” you went on, feeling a couple of droplets stream down your face and leaving a damp trail behind. “You want everyone to think that, but you are not that person.”

Miguel scoffed, breaking eye contact with you. “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“Oh, but I do,” you take a few steps closer to him, wanting him to stare back at you again. “It won’t kill you to feel something other than anger and resentment, you know? We’re humans. It’s in our nature to bond with others—”

“But we’re not really regular humans, are we?” he scowled deeply, crimson eyes narrowing at you. “I haven’t been with anyone since…” his voice faltered, hands gripping his thighs tightly. “I’m too broken.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

You saw something twist his features. Miguel didn’t like being challenged. He was so terrible at handling his emotions, that anything that he couldn’t control he grew to resent.

“I wanted you to hate me,” he said abruptly. “During missions… just like what happened today.”

“What? Why?”

“Because making you hate me felt easier than me not having feelings for you.”

There it was.

That sentence alone was enough to have your lips quiver shut, heart thumping loudly and head feeling dizzy.

“You’re an idiot,” you managed to say after a while.

“What?”

The sudden flare of rage nearly consumed you. “How could you even think that? How broken are you to convince yourself that you’re not worthy of having normal feelings for someone else?”

“Because I can’t afford it,” he explained as he rose to his feet. “The moment I give into my feelings for you, you become a liability.”

You shrunk away, feeling suddenly really tiny. “I think us getting involved was a mistake.”

He looked at you, surprised. “You’re just saying that because you know this isn’t going anywhere.”

“No, I'm saying it because I feel guilty,” you murmured, hugging yourself for comfort. “I will never understand what you’ve been through. I won’t pretend I ever will,” you paused momentarily, pondering your next words. “But I feel selfish for wanting more.”

“I'm a selfish kind of man, too,” he remarked evenly.

You nodded.

He took a step towards you and you took one back, bumping unexpectedly into the wall. Miguel seemed caught off guard by your reaction and froze, hands held up. "I’m not going to ask you to continue this.”

“It’s better that we don’t,” you whispered unconvincingly. “I’ll get over you.”

“Yes,” he said with a shrug, reaching out to touch a hand to your cheek. “I totally agree.”

You nearly melted into a puddle at his touch. It was like a punch to the stomach, knowing that he could so easily get under your skin.

“I don’t know how to fix this.”

You swallowed hard. “You don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel forced to be with me.”

“Too late for that.”

Your eyes zeroed in on his and he froze under the ferocity of your glare. “It’s fucking sad, Miguel. That it took things getting out of control for us to have an honest conversation.”

“I agree,” he said. “But maybe it was necessary.”

He was now stroking your cheek, and as much as you wanted to flinch away from his touch, he had somehow managed to melt your insides.

He leaned closer and you snapped your face away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of submitting.

His lips were near your ear. “Do you want to part ways?”

Your jaw clenched.

“I’ll respect your decision.”

You screwed your eyes shut, blocking him out and seeking clarity. “What if I think we should give it a try?”

“Then we must set boundaries,” he said, breath fanning your ear. “You’re an amazing spider-woman.”

You gave him a cynical snort.

“And I think we shouldn’t be paired in further missions unless strictly necessary. At least until we figure this out.

You shared the sentiment, but also craved reassurance. “But you need to let me in, Miguel. I can give you space whenever you need it, but you can’t keep building these walls around you,” you took a deep sigh. “You don’t have to with me.”

His hands were moving down your sides, and you let your backpack slide down one arm, falling to the ground. He came to rest his chin on the top of your head.

“I know.”

Having him this close to you never failed to make your heart flutter.

“I’m sorry,” he said, bringing both arms to cradle your face, pulling you into his chest. “I don’t deserve you.”

Somehow, that confession brought a faint smile to your lips. “No, you don’t.”

“Was that a smile?”

“No,” you huffed in annoyance.

“I think that was a smile.”

“Stop it. You sound as obnoxious as Lyla,” you mumbled.

“Well, I did program her,” he said, hands caressing the back of your head adoringly. “Are you calling me obnoxious?”

“Maybe.”

“Ouch,” he feigned pain in his voice.

Your stubbornness crumbled at once and you finally wrapped your arms around him.

“How could you ever think your feelings were one-sided?” he whispered, lulling you in his arms. “Silly, silly spider.”

Masterlist

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel ohara x oc #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara oneshot #miguel o’hara angst #miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara fic

[dreddedwheat]

Spiderverse Spoilers: My thoughts on The Spot

Okay so, Across the Spiderverse had fucking great characters - Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk), Miguel O'hara (Spider-Man 2099) and of course, Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India). All are absolute stand-outs, they're all fucking sick, there's no other way of putting it.

This film is an easy 10/10. But I was really impressed with what they did with The Spot.

I'm a big critic of 'silly' villains from comic-books being reduced to one note comedy characters in favour of edgier but much blander villains.

The Spot is a perfect example of how you can have a villain be silly, and remain that way, and still have him be intimidating as all hell.

Spoilers below, reader beware

So first of all, The Spot doesn't actually change that much as a character throughout the film. True we don't see much of him aside from the first fight with Miles and his appearance in Mumbattan, but every time we do he's pretty much the same...in terms of personality.

He's a great subversion of expectations, and I really didn't expect him to be THE villain of the whole film (aside from Miguel ofc). He gets much stronger naturally, and yet he remains this rather relaxed, awkward and aloof person.

He seems completely detached and obsessed with Spider-Man. Not in a teeth-gnashing, Green Goblin-like manner though. He holds a grudge, and wants to see it through to the point he doesn't even flinch at the idea of destroying the universe to do so.

And I love how they use his body-language to convey this. At first he's hunched and awkward, with a paunch and generally pathetic in motion. But the more powerful becomes, the more relaxed he is, slinking about and being almost graceful but with the exact same physique.

He doesn't get more confident, he always was, because he's self-centred (literally if you remember that one scene). I mean he fucking robs a guy, and spends the whole time basically complaining and whining that this is a 'bad experience' for him because someone's standing up to him.

For The Spot, he simply is Spider-Man's nemesis and that means he's totally justified in doing whatever it takes to destroy his life. It's the "Welp, guess I'm evil" approach but done much better.

It takes a character so easily dismissed and makes him a much more grounded and effective villain in every conceivable way.

I'm sure we'll get more insight into his backstory, and probably have more serious grounding with his motivation. But for now the utterly casual nature of him is what makes him so much fun to watch, and almost scary in a way.

#Spiderverse #Across the Spiderverse #Miguel O'hara #Hobie Brown #The Spot #pavitr prabhakar #Spider-man #Spider-man 2099

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

How to Talk to Someone Who is Struggling⁣

It can be tough to talk to someone who is struggling with their mental health. We want our friends and family to feel comfortable reaching out to us, but most people aren’t actually sure how to react when that happens. I’ve heard a lot of people express fears that they might say the wrong thing or even make the situation worse. And that’s valid. It took a lot of training for me to learn how to talk to suicidal and depressed people, and they just don’t teach those skills in regular school. But having those skills can save lives. ⁣

So if you’ve got a struggling person in your life and you’re not sure how to talk to them, remember:⁣

Don’t be afraid of using the word ‘suicide’. It’s a harsh word, and a lot of people are scared that talking about it directly might push someone to do it. It won’t. Suicidal people are thinking about suicide in explicit terms all the time; hearing the word out loud isn’t any worse than the things they’ve already been thinking. Using euphemisms and beating around the bush just makes it hard to have an honest conversation. Be direct. Say exactly what you mean. Ask your loved ones if they are thinking about killing themselves. Say the word suicide. It’s hard, but it’s important.⁣

Don’t make the conversation all about you. It is really, really tempting to jump in and tell a struggling person all about your own struggles with mental health in order to empathize with them. Don’t do it. Not right away. You might mean well, but when you launch into your own mental health struggles, you are suddenly putting the other person in a position where they have to comfort and empathize with you, when it should be the other way around. They don’t have the energy for that right now. Let them talk about themselves first. ⁣

Don’t have an intense emotional reaction to what they’re saying. This is really, really hard, but it’s important. When someone is telling you about their self-harm or suicidal thoughts, try to keep your face and your voice as neutral as possible. Offer empathy in a calm, comforting way, and avoid crying in their presence if you can. They are watching you closely to see what’s okay and what’s not okay to disclose; if they see you getting upset at what they’re saying, they won’t want to talk about it anymore. And once again, it puts them in a position where they have to stop and comfort you. ⁣

Don’t say “I know exactly how you feel”. Because you don’t. And hearing statements like this, even if they’re well-meaning, can come across as dismissive or patronizing. Even if you’ve been in a very similar situation, you can’t really know what it feels like to be someone else, or feel the pain they feel. Instead of saying “I know what you’re going through”, validate their pain and say “I can’t imagine what you’re going through” - because you can’t. ⁣

Don’t ask “why” questions. Asking questions that start with “why” automatically puts people on the defensive. When you ask “why do you feel that way”, it makes people feel like they have to justify themselves to you. Instead, ask “what are some of the reasons you feel that way?” This is a much more non-judgmental way to phrase things, and it allows people to explain what’s going on without feeling like they’re on trial. ⁣

Don’t be afraid of silence. When someone tells you something really heavy, sometimes you just won’t know what to say. That’s okay. A lot of the time, distressed people aren’t looking for comforting words - they just need someone to sit there in their pain with them, by their side. Silences are a natural part of intense conversations, and they’re important. Let them happen. And sometimes, a long silence gives someone the space to say the things they were afraid to say before. ⁣

Don’t try to “fix” the problem. When someone comes to you with a problem - their partner dumped them, they lost their job, they’re broke - it can be really, really tempting to just start hurling solutions at them. We’ll sign you up for dating sites! We’ll spruce up your resume! We’ll make you a budget! If the person reaching out to you wanted that kind of help, they would ask for it. If they’re reaching out to talk about their problems, they aren’t looking for practical solutions right now - they don’t need you to fix it, they need you to listen to them, understand how much they’re hurting, and sit by them when they cry. ⁣

Validate their feelings. Distressed people often feel that their emotions are ridiculous, or that they don’t “deserve” to feel sad because they are better off in life than other people. Remind them that they have a right to their own feelings. Confirm that, yes, their situation sucks and it’s okay for them to be upset about it. Never confirm suicidal feelings, but do let them know that their sadness or anger or shame is okay to feel, and they have a right to feel it.⁣

Offer resources only if they are okay with it. Pelting a suicidal person with unwanted pamphlets isn’t helpful. Even if you know a great mental health resource in your area, it’s important to ask if the person even wants resources, or feels comfortable reaching out to a resource. Always check in with the person’s comfort after providing a resource, and ask if you can help them to be more comfortable accessing this resource. If you gave them the name of a local mental health clinic, ask if they would like you to call the clinic for them, or accompany them to the clinic - offer whatever help you can, but don’t push resources, and always check in with their needs and comfort. ⁣

These tips aren’t perfect, and they won’t necessarily work for everyone - they are a guideline to get you started, and to feel more confident approaching struggling family and friends. Having intense conversations about mental health or suicide with a loved one can be overwhelming, and many people don’t feel prepared to have these conversations, even if they want to. Do your best. Even if you make mistakes, showing someone that you honestly care about them and you’re making an effort to be there for them can make a world of difference. Having an imperfect conversation is better than no conversation at all. ⁣

If you’re still having doubts about your ability to have these conversations, remember that there are helpful videos online that you can learn from, and you can always call suicide hotlines to get tips and reassurance about approaching a loved one you’re concerned about. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how you have this conversation - it matters that you have it.

#mental health #mental health awareness #mental illnesses #depression #anxiety #bpd #cptsd #ptsd #bipolar #psychosis #panic disorder #schizophrenia

[r0ttenhearts]

forgotten letters

xiao x reader

synopsis: after the fallout xiao attempts to apologize via letters

warnings; angst, no comfort, abandonment, one sided

xiao licked the top of the sticky envelope, the slight bitter taste on his tongue as he sealed the envelope. the anxious feeling welled up inside of him again. the same feeling he got when he was writing the letter to the one person he missed dearly. regretting every day that passed that he didn’t greet or see with that person. that person being, you. it wasn’t a lengthy letter, he didn’t want to bother you. especially after how the last meeting had gone with you.

all of his attempts to pour his regrets and frustration onto pen and paper laid balled up in the trash can in his room. so he started small, if you’d even respond that is.

he shook off the anxious feeling, sticking his painted hands into his pocket as he walked back home. now the hard part, waiting. waiting for a response, or waiting to get ignored.

his phone buzzed with a notification from his lover. the one who was to blame for this mess. as much as he tried to justify it, he blamed her for the falling out between himself and you. he was as much to blame, but he couldn’t admit to that. not when he still yearned for his touch.

some nights when he’d lay with his lover, he’d imagine it was you. only to remember it wasn’t when she opened her mouth and the sweet sounds coming out didn’t sound like yours. nothing like yours.

but he still smiled whenever he was with her. something you fought for, but never got to see.

he sighed, clicking his phone off. his dark teal hair hitting his pillow as he had finally made it home. not even his lover could comfort him, she wasn’t what he needed in the moment. he needed you. he needed to hear you whisper in his ear that he would be okay, that you would always be there. to feel the warmth of your hugs the few times he allowed you to touch him.

his eyes closed, drifting off to a distant sleep. the dark haired boy could only dream to find peace in his slumber. but he knew he only slept as much as he did to see you. you, before the end of your friendship with him.

“i don’t want anything to do with you.” xiao spoke sternly, standing at his door. he regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. the way your face crumbled as you stood on his doorstep, mouth open slightly in shock. “you don’t mean that, xiao.” you spoke calmly but your expression showed anything but.

“i do. i have a girlfriend now and i love her. i know you’ll only cling to me and cry if i keep you around. i don’t care to entertain this anymore.” xiao waved his hand dismissively as your tears began to fall.

“fine. if that’s how you want it to be, then so be it. but i don’t want you to ever contact me or look for me when you’re alone. what a waste.” you spoke coldly as you turned on your heel. the slam of xiao’s front door was all you heard as you angrily walked away. xiao fished his phone out of his pocket, pressing on the call button to his new girlfriends contact. “hey, sorry. i was just dealing with her..”

xiao woke up in cold sweat, his body shaking as the memories of that night came flooding back. though he had said goodbye to you, he regretted every moment he opened his door to see his girlfriend, not you. he spent nights dwelling on it. the way he had told you, the way he hadn’t cared to keep you in his heart.

he wasn’t sure if he felt anything for you. the thought of you with another man, holding another man the same way you did xiao, made him feel sick to his stomach. that thought would always make its way to the forefront of his mind whenever he woke up from a dream that served as a reminder for that night.

with a heavy sigh, he turned his phone on. 56 angry texts and 10 missed calls from his girlfriend, but it was a new day. xiao slipped on some shoes and made his way to the front of his house where his mailbox stood.

he had directly put the envelope into your mailbox, and he hoped you had done the same. he hastily pulled open the lid to the metal box, finding the same card he had inserted into your mailbox, but without the envelope. he flipped over the green paper, recognizing your handwriting.

his heart swelled with excitement and anticipation as his eyes scanned over the words in your familiar script.

taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @scara6 @darliingyu @gh0sts0up @foxlover1144 @xiaonscaraswife @linkookie197 @lelemnh @jaderose18 @saeism @dearsumire @astrolomona @sakiimeo

#genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #xiao #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin impact #xiao x y/n #genshin xiao #xiao genshin #xiao angst #xiao angst genshin #xiao x reader angst #xiao x reader #xiao x you

[imagines--galore]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a zuko x reader? Y/n is a water bender working for zuko while he travels(set in the first or second season) thank you !!!

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. Mentions of injuries and such but nothing too extensive.

A/N: This is a separate entry from my other Zukoxoc fic The Thread of Fate. So please do not confuse them to be the same. Also you have to read between the lines to sense the romance. Like really between the lines. Thank you! Hope you enjoy!

You may have be on the ship because of a debt you owed General Iroh, but it didn't mean you had to like any of the occupants.

And by occupants you meant resident Prince Pouty - Zuko.

You had kept your distance at first, keeping your head down and going about your job, but it didn't take long for your patience to snap and you began to talk back to the Prince. All because he just had to be rude to you and everyone else on the ship.

Sure General Iroh had explained the reason behind his behavior, it still didn't excuse him from being so rude all the time. Not to mention brash.

Your skills as a waterbender came in handy whenever he or any of the other soldiers aboard the ship would return with injuries. The soldiers had been wary of your at first, and you them, but in time they had accepted you as one of their own, and would often joke around with you, or seek out your help with an injury or a bruise.

Prince Zuko, on the other hand, had been entirely too stubborn to allow the enemy, his words, to see to his injuries. It wasn't until he had very nearly collapsed from ignoring his injuries, after several run-ins with the Avatar, that he had allowed you to come close and heal him.

Afterwards he had been somewhat civil towards you, and you him. Though there were times when you would berate him for putting himself in unnecessary danger and only coming to you when the pain would be too much for him to handle. He would justify his actions, saying he could handle it. Iroh was usually the mediator between the two of you, always there to make sure neither of you accidentally harmed the other. You had threatened to toss the Prince overboard on more then one occasion.

Funnily enough, he had never ever mentioned hurting you with his firebending.

Your transition from hostile shipmates, to hostile companions was slow-going and took months for the both of you to actually admit that perhaps you both could get along.

Of course, when you had just come to that realization, Zhao had commandeered Zuko's soldiers and ship, to be used to take over the Northern Water Tribe. Iroh had instantly dismissed you from your post, saying your debt had been paid. He had no desire to see you in the hands of the evil man.

Which was why you were now staying at the small inn where Zuko's ship had made its final port. You had no idea where to go from there. You didn't have any family to go back to. You had been saved by General Iroh out of the goodness of his heart. Which was the reason you had stuck to him with the claim that you owned him a debt.

Truthfully you had just felt safe with him, and now?

Where would you go now?

You were so lost in your thoughts, staring at the small cup of tea in your hand that you very nearly jumped out of your skin when the door to your small room slammed open and General Iroh stumbled in, supporting an unconscious and injured figure at his side.

Your eyes widened at who it was. "Zuko!" Your cup clattered to the floor as you ran to help the General lay the Prince down on your bed. A sharp gasp left your lips as you assessed the damage to his body. Burns, cuts, scraps, bruises, gashes. There were so many of them.

"What happened?" You demanded, even as you quickly began to gather supplies. A bucket of water, an old blanket to rip up for bandages and the bag that contained your own salves and pastes to help with the bruising.

"The pirates. They were in league with Zhao and they blew up the ship with Zuko onboard." The man explained, worry for his nephew evident in his gaze as he watched you do you work. Taking a small knife, you quickly cut open the shirt Zuko wore to assess the damage there.

You worked the entire night.

The more serious injuries were healed with your healing abilities and once you had tired yourself out from that, you began to apply the healing salves to whatever small burns and cuts you could find. You were almost out when your patient began to stir.

"Wh-" You reached out to gently grasp his shoulder to keep him from getting up lest he aggravate his injuries.

"Shh....just lie still. You're alright. You're safe." You told him. Pouring the concoction you had steamed a few moments ago, you held the cup to his lips. "Drink this. It'll help with the pain."

For once Zuko made no complaint, as he raised his head just enough to drink the warm liquid. His face grimaced at the taste but you made sure he drank every last drop.

"Your Uncle has gone to get some food. It's nearly afternoon." Outside the sun was high in the sky. Sleep hung heavy in your eyes as your gaze ran over his face. "Does anything hurt? I was able to cure most of the injuries, but I don't know if I missed something." Worry laced your tone as you fussed over the bandages that were wrapped around his forearm.

He pulled back his arm, only to grasp her hand tightly with his own. You were surprised at the strength behind the grip but you met his gaze with your own as he stared at you with an intensity that had never been there before. At least not the kind where you felt your face growing hot and had you averting your gaze after awhile and clearing your throat. His grip softened, allowing you to slip your fingers from his grasp.

"Thank you Y/N." Well that came as a shock. He had never once thanked you for when you treated him. He must've hit his head really hard on something.

Still you didn't say anything, the blush along your cheeks only intensifying as you nodded and cleared your throat. "It was nothing." But it seemed to mean something to him.

Thankfully Iroh returned just then, with food and provisions, and with the way your stomach had been growling, you all but wolfed down the soup and dumplings.

Of course you couldn't ignore the feeling that someone was watching your every move.

You simply focused on the food, too afraid to meet those intense golden eyes again.

#zuko x reader #zuko x oc #zuko x y/n #atla imagine #avatar the last airbender imagine

[yuridovewing]

Feel like one of the best ways you can convince someone that no, villains with compelling motives that have sad backstories are not terrible writing compared to straight up born evil villains who just want to kill everyone and be done with it, is to tell them that Warrior Cats writes born evil villains constantly while literally preaching “That’s how evil works, you can’t CHANGE, you’re either touched by demons at birth or you aren’t!” and it blows chunks

#brokenstar tigerstar hawkfrost darktail one eye etc etc would all be so much more interesting if they werent so one note #and just had ‘’born evil’’ slapped on as their explanation for being evil #‘’ew why are you woobifying tigerstar’’ because i think a villain who feels emotion besides ‘’evil’’ and ‘’angry’’ and actually does care #about his clanmates but is also a bigot that deserves to be beaten down is more interesting than canon #to get like real world political here… abusive people and bigots like. are not one note born evil demons #they have loved ones and reasons for turning out the way they did. and im not saying that to go ‘’so you need to give them grace!’’ #im saying that because the line of thinking that every bad person is a super obvious mustache twirling villain with no soul #makes it so that people justify abuse and crimes from REAL people. like ‘’oh my friend says some racist things but he isnt BAD! he loves me! #would an abusive person be nice to his wife in public? of course not!’’ #and its rhetoric like that that lets abuse and bigotry thrive. if you put the world in categories of born evil and born good #then you will dismiss all the ‘’good’’ people in your life who have done horrible things with ‘’but she donated to charity once’’ #i mean. hell this LITERALLY happens in wc where the ‘’born good’’ characters are abusive and murderously xenophobic #where characters like clear sky and blackstar just get a sticker like ‘’oh you cant be TOO mad at them! theyre good at heart!’’ #‘’ignore all the times they killed vulnerable people for the crime of being born somewhere they didnt like! they were nice to a kid once!’’ #the message there is literally ‘’bad people cant REALLY be bad if theyre nice to people sometimes’’ #like. im not even mad at clear sky being motivated by witnessing his loved ones starve to death for why hes such an abusive control freak #thats an interesting reason to become a villain especially since the change happened when he was put in a position of power #the problem is not him having a sad backstory. the problem is the erins think his sad backstory means he was never that bad #and anyone who’s upset at him can go eat shit and die cause he looked sad #like. i get this line of thinking often comes from writers doing this for abuse apologism and just wanting to see abusers be held accountabl #accountable #but how exactly does it help victims of abuse to portray abusers and bigots in a christian ‘’touched by the devil’’ light

[thegnomelord]

Patience Is a Virtue

CW: Sub Top reader, Dom bottom Price, monster AU, dragon hybrid Price, Mage male reader, objectification, use of cock and strap, humiliation, edging, dom/sub, praise kink, getting called 'good boy', mild mirror sex. Might be OOC as I'm not familiar with cod. MDNI

You had fucked up.

Granted, you'd never admit or acknowledge that.

You didn't even see anything wrong by charging the enemy against his orders believing the ends justified the means. You were always like that, reckless and dismissive of your own mortality, happy to rush head first into the enemy fire if it meant one enemy was consumed by your magic. He couldn't fault you fully, the raging inferno of magic controlled you as much as you controlled it, but Price still couldn't have an asset disobeying orders like you did. Conventional punishments couldn't get through your thick skull, so he'd need to come up with a better solution...

Price got creative.

He had given you one simple order: Do not Move.

His heavy body pinned you down, thick and powerful thighs bracketing your hips, pleased growls rumbling in his chest as Price rose and then sank down on a cock.

But it wasn't your dick, he hadn't deemed you worthy of using your actual cock to pleasure him, instead fastening a strap-on to your waist. The silicone was the color of your eyes, and you could see the way it disappeared inside him through the dresser mirror behind him, wet with spit and lube.

The dragon hybrid had sucked the dildo when he first put it on you, ordering you to sit and watch as his lips wrapped around the silicone head. His long draconic tongue lapped at the artificial cum hole before he'd taken the entire thing to the balls, nose flush with your abdomen and pretty lips stretched taught, throat bulging from it and drool running down his chin. Indecently lewd sounds escaped his mouth as he pulled back, worshiping the silicone cock like a pious believer.

His eyes had never left yours, draconic gold glowing in the dark and just daring you to try going against his orders. You had needed to use every bit of your resolve to just stay fucking still, thinking of dead puppies and naked grandmas — anything to stop yourself from touching him when he'd growl with the fake cock balls deep in his throat, the sound vibrating the base of the strap on against your trapped cock beneath it.

It would send a jolt of pleasure down your spine, sizzling arousal and desperate want burning in your chest, but it wasn't enough.

Now, Price languidly rode 'you', pleased growls rumbling in his chest, slow hip movements allowing the fake cock to rub every inch of his walls. You'd know when the silicone would brush against his prostate by the way his wing would flex, by the way his tail would curl up like a beast in heat and his hungry hole would flutter around the strap, by the way the most sinful growled moan would come from his chest and his hips would grind down to prolong the sensation.

Your patience was beginning to evaporate, desiring nothing more than to pull more of those sounds from him, to be the reason behind his pleasure, to replace that damned stap and feel his greedy hole suck you in, to feel his body clench around you with draconic strength.

Price knew this, and he paid no attention to your torment.

He continued to ride you like a toy(which you were in a way), his eyes closed and head thrown back, one hand lazily stroking his own dick. Your eyes snapped to the strands of precum leaking from his tip, pooling in the grooves of your muscles, your mouth watering with the sudden desire to taste him.

He caught your gaze as he cracked open an eye, a pleased smirk on his features as he dipped his fingers into the puddle of precum and dragged his claws along your skin, sharp nails making your skin crawl from feeling his touch for the first time in a while.

It was comical how quickly you could feel your resolve slipping, fiery arousal burning hotter than mana in your veins.

Honestly, this torture should be considered a fucking war crime.

"Fuck, Price." You hissed through clenched teeth, not noticing how hard you were panting, the mana inside you burning hot. "Come on, I said I was sorry. Just let me fuck you already."

Price let out a chuckle, settling to sit fully in your lap, tail curling up just so you could see how his hole stretched and fluttered around the silicone. "You are fuckin' me." He said, fangs displayed in a grin.

That fucking dragon-

"That's not what I meant." You hastily replied, groaning when he ground down, grinding the base of the strap against your cock. "Fuck, I promise I'll follow orders next time, just, fucking please."

"You will now?" Price snorted, tone degrading, making arousal burn in your chest. "Is this all it takes? Not getting your knob wet for five minutes is enough for my mage to loose all that pride?"

You just whined at his mocking words, echoing a few more pleas without even realizing it, magic sparking along your skin with the desire to touch him, even as his words kept you down.

He chuckled, reaching out to grip your hair, pulling on it until you sat up and immediately shoving your face into his chest, almost smothering you in heaven. "Go on then, love, let's see how well behaved you are."

You didn't need to be told twice, tongue lolling out to lather his pecs with licks and kisses, teeth eagerly nibbling on his skin. A pleased rumble shook Price's chest and he rocked his hips, working to make your arousal burn hotter, urging your mind to further take what was offered to you. You sucked on his skin until his skin was marked with bruises and bitemarks, his nipples hard and puffy and covered with saliva.

"Thank you, fuck." you growled, throwing a praise to the powers that be, the desperation to touch more, to feel more, driving your body as you reached out to roughly grope his arse, pulling his body down on you while you bit his nipple hard.

A resounding growl came from his chest, yanking your head from his chest as his tail slapped your hand away, the thick appendage wrapping like a chain around your arm. "What did I tell you, boy?"

The roughness in his voice made your dick just that bit harder, making it almost impossible to think. "Stay still."  You growled, teeth clenching with the desire to swear when he ground his hips down, sending jolts up your spine.

"And what did you do? The exact opposite." He growled, the rich green scales on his tail chaffing against your skin.

“But I-” You went to argue before your rational mind caught up with your dick, recognizing that all arguing would do would make Price prolong this fucking torture. “-I’m… I’m sorry.”

"Sure you are." He said in a flat tone, draconic eyes narrowed.

"I am." You repeated, your eyes glowing with the mana in your chest, casting light on his features. "Fuck, Price, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." It was obvious you weren't used to apologizing, and you hoped your inexperience in this department would make Price take mercy on you.

The clawed hand in your hair stroked down the side of your face to hold your chin, holding your head in place as if you'd ever dream of pulling away. Your body leaned in automatically, finally you'd be able to feel his hole flutter around you instead of that god forsaken strap, finally you'd be able to touch him after being denied for so long.

"Ready to be a good boy for me sweetheart?"

He mumbled as his lips brushed against yours, voice smooth like honey. You nodded dumbly, his fangs lightly nibbling on your lip as he ground his hips ground down on yours, sending sparks of pleasure up your spine.

Then he pushed you to lie on your back with a clawed hand on your chest, pinning you to the bed again.

"Then be a good boy, and stay still, just for five more minutes." He said, a sadistic glint in his eyes, thick thighs tensing as he began riding the strap again. "You can handle that, can't you? You did disobey me again." This time, his movements were rougher, the movements sharper, his full weight bearing down on your poor dick trapped beneath the base of the strap, pleasure and pain sparking in your brain all over again.

And you realized, you had fucked up.

#call of duty #top reader #male reader #captain john price #monster cod AU #price x reader #mage reader #centerpieces of the hoard #cod mw2 #john price x male reader #john price x reader #dom John Price #Bottom John Price #sub reader #top male reader

[arafilez]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ▰ ▰ ✶ WØRLD EPISØDE FIN: WILL ⪨

ㅤㅤ➛ ㅤviii.ㅤ EVERYTHING 𒉽 choi jongho❛ 𓇿

🥂̸̤ㅤㅤfluff forced proximity pg13ㅤ ✸ㅤthe last person you wanted to complete the mission with is jongho, well too bad he is the only optionㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ w: fighting . one-bed trope ㅤㅤ»ㅤㅤ wc: 3kㅤㅤ𠈔ㅤㅤ moodboard

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❛ you're an asshole but i love you ❜

“Everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid.”

“Choi Jongho”

“Shut up.”

You both stop abruptly at the third voice and turn towards the captain but not without giving each other one last glare. Hongjoong takes a deep breath and looks at you two shaking his head wondering what he had ever done in his past life to get such a chaotic group of spies. Because they surely can’t act like one.

“Okay now that I have your attention span of five seconds, you two are doing this mission together,” Hongjoong speaks and doesn’t bother to look up already knowing what is coming.

“I am not going with him.”

“Again?”

You both shout at the same time earning an eye-roll from Hongjoong who merely states, “Yes, and you don’t get a choice.” Your mouth hangs open at his words and you try to protest only for Hongjoong to silence you and say, “Because you two are our best undercovers.”

“Well, I am, of course, but her?” Jongho asks, mocking evident in his voice and you snicker at the immature man beside you. Being the two youngest in the team you two didn’t leave one day where you wouldn’t bite each other’s head off.

“Of course, because you are the one who brought home the information in our last mission,” you say, plastering a sickly sweet smile on your face.

“Talk with respect, I was born first,” he bites back and you roll your eyes at the lame comeback before saying, “Don’t you mean hatched?”

“Dismissed,” Hongjoong says interrupting you two and giving a stern look that makes both of you shut up and accept it and leave. Walking outside you close Hongjoong’s door behind you and feel Jongho tapping your shoulder.

“What?” you give him a look which quickly turns into confusion as you see him shushing you and pointing towards the lab door where you see Wooyoung’s sister clinging onto Yunho.

You shrug lightly whispering, “Well Wooyoung oppa is going to be fucking over the moon,” and Jongho giggles at your response knowing his hyung in fact will be.

You look towards Jongho who has a gummy smile etched on his face and for a moment you let your mind tell you he looks cute in that smile with his crinkled eyes that look like a crescent moon.

“Too bad you don’t have a brother, let alone his best friend,” Jongho remarks and the record screeches and comes to a halt. You smile at him before showing your middle finger to his face and he sticks out his tongue making you scoff.

“It’s almost two, do you want to plan tomorrow or now?” Jongho asks suddenly and you contemplate a bit balancing out your odds and he takes the cue to continue, “What are you thinking so much, you don’t have anyone to go back to your room, unlike San hyung.”

You attempt to kick him, swinging your leg in the hair and he giggles running towards his room and you follow muttering curses under your breath at the little spawn of the devil.

The relationship you and Jongho had was interesting. You two were the undercovers of Ateez and being a team you two complement each other well, bringing information as well as eliminating bodies left and right.

But, there’s always a but, you two couldn’t stand each other. You found him obnoxious and annoying and he found you too hasty. At least that was the basic reason. There were a thousand other reasons which justify why you would kill him on a good day. One of them, was his big mouth that was never shut, annoying you whenever he could.

“What is your plan? Where do we start?” your thoughts come to a halt as Jongho’s voice infiltrates your ear and you look at him in the eyes that hold a boring expression.

You shake your head lightly and sit down on his bed, which you will never admit is very comfortable, and say, “We can just simply keep a watch on them and act accordingly.”

“We will not be in any disguise genius, what if we get caught?” he throws his shoes off his legs to the corner of the room and sits down beside you and you narrow your eyes at him.

“We will improvise like we have always done till now,” you shrug lightly. Honestly, this mission wasn’t a lot. Even though it has crucial information standing on the line you and Jongho have been on much harder missions and have been alive.

Even though you might have tried to kill each other while at it.

“Fine just don’t do stupid shit when we almost get caught, like that time you suggested beer pong,” Jongho grits out, eyes flaming with anger as he remembers how you had almost slept with an official if he hadn’t saved you.

“That was all part of the plan,” you dismiss him airily and he rolls his eyes muttering “Sure” which made you feel embarrassed as hell because it sure wasn’t part of any plan. Heck, you already have two people in your team for that job.

He yawns stretching out his limbs and you look at him and watch his muscles flex under the t-shirt he is wearing accentuating his arm muscles and you watch him intently.

“Good muscles, no?” Jongho smirks looking at you ogling and your eyes widen at getting caught and you cough looking away and say, “Yeah whatever, those are just for show.”

You even fake a scoff to hide the warmth radiating from your cheeks and he raises an eyebrow.

“They can show you a lot of things baby,” he purrs, his body slightly leaning towards you and you stare back at his eyes with equal intensity. You are pretty sure your cheeks are red by now, and you can feel his breath too close to you, and you might be hallucinating but you see his eyes travel to your lips for a split second.

Coughing lightly, you abruptly get up before you do something you regret and walk towards the door. Jongho also sits up looking away and you say a small “See you tomorrow,” and leave.

“You have got to be fucking with me!” you exclaim, a frustrated groan leaving with me as you eye the room you are to stay for the night. It is definitely a sorry excuse for a homestay, heck you have stayed in worse places but that isn’t the problem.

The problem is sharing the room with Jongho.

A room which has one bed.

No couch.

No mattress.

Not even two blankets in what they are calling a “double bed.” Double? It is more like a single and a half. Not even half, quarter.

“No thanks, I have better things to do,” Jongho’s monotonous reply brings you out of your trance and you glare at him throwing your backpack on the small table at the side.

The table creaks making you cringe and you slowly pick up your bag and keep it beside the leg of the bed. You are not paying for a broken table. They cannot even make more rooms, of course, they can’t afford a decent table.

“You’re sleeping on the floor,” you deadpan and Jongho laughs sarcastically saying, “How about you say that to your phone’s selfie camera?”

“Selfie camera? Really?” you fold your arms cocking your eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes and says, “Yeah well there’s no mirror.” You scoff at his attitude and continue, “You cannot make a lady sleep on the floor.”

“Where’s the lady? I can’t see her,” he retaliates with a smirk adorning his face. You take in a deep break and shooting him a quick glare you plop down on the bed.

Jongho puts his bag down beside yours and glances around. His heart panics a little at the single bed but he quickly looks away. It is three days, he can do this.

You think it is for three days, you can go without killing each other, maintain a safe distance, and return safely to the base. You can do this.

You absolutely cannot do this.

Jongho has been shuffling for the last fifteen minutes and he doesn’t stop. His tossing and turning make you annoyed and you hiss in anger and turn towards him and yell, “Jongho just sleep for fuck’s sake.”

He turns towards you and whispers, “I am trying.”

“Well, try harder, and stop moving,” you finally shoot your eyes open and look at him. The proximity makes you falter quickly and you can see your noses almost touching, his eyes scanning your whole face.

Your eyes rake his face, over every mole, cute lump and his nose-bridge and then fall to his lips. You quickly look up at him and he opens his mouth and you brace yourself for the worst teasing of your life.

“You have really nice eyes,” your eyes widen in shock and your lips part but no words come out as you continue to stare into his soft, brown eyes. After a moment you collect yourself barely and say, “Go to sleep Choi.”

Why is this hotel room so goddamn cold?

“Okay,” he whispers back, his breath fanning your face your mouth a ‘good’ because you didn’t trust your voice and turn your back to him, trying to calm your heart.

Jongho eyes rest on your back trying to even his breath until his eyes close.

You wake up in the middle of the night, or rather your bladder urges you to try to move. Except you can’t when you see Jongho’s hand draped over your waist, holding you close. His soft breath dances on your neck and you stay awake for some time enjoying the warmth of his body that feels so strangely comfortable and you hate to admit it.

Okay no you really need to pee.

You wiggle out of his arms slowly, not intending to wake him up and he groans making you go still. “Why do I care?” you think to yourself but put extra care into placing his arms down and getting up.

Coming back you jump lightly as Jongho’s annoyed eyes match yours and he says, “Come back here.”

“Why?” your cheeks tinge a shade of red and you are glad the room is dark or else you would have never lived it down. You take a sip of water from the bottle, trying to shove the feeling down your burning throat but you can’t.

Jongho keeps watching your ministrations, getting impatient with each passing second. Why can’t you just come back goddammit? He speaks up before he can stop himself and says, “You are the only source of warmth in this stupid hotel, so come back before I get hypothermia.”

You smirk lightly at his bear-like features getting all riled up and shrug your shoulders nonchalantly making him huff and turn sideways away from you. You cannot believe Jongho being this needy.

Jongho never loses his composure. Except when he is with you, you make him do crazy things.

You giggle lightly at the pouting baby bear before you walk towards him and get inside the duvet and his eye shots up as you lie down. He instantly wraps his arm around you and you murmur to him, “I am only doing this because you are cold and you will get hypothermia or whatever, don’t take it otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” his sleepy voice reverberates in the room as he holds you tightly making your insides warm up. He is just cold, don’t overthink, you scold your mind before lulling back to sleep.

The next morning becomes unusually quiet, unlike your usual bickering. Both of you check your logs sent by Yunho and work on your tactical gears and weapons. Neither of you brings up last night’s incident, an unspoken agreement forming.

At the said time, you both leave the motel and arrive at the back door of the pub. You say the code and they let you two in and you search for your perp.

“There she is,” Jongho whispers and you quickly look over to his direction and spot her immediately. “You talk with officials, I will go talk with her,” you say and he nods before you part ways. You strut your way towards her and sit beside her at the bar, passing her a glance.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you look at Jongho who has a resolute look on his face as he sits down to play poker with the officials. You smile lightly at his undercover suit that makes him look like a businessman.

Jongho knows the official has a gun ready below the table and he sends a signal to Mingi who gets ready in his position at the back. Jongho smiles lightly and continues the game like nothing happened until he is on the last card and pulls out an Ateez card from his pocket turning it swiftly to the officers.

You knock over your drink on purpose, and Mingi walks towards Jongho. “You’re dead, darling,” you whisper as soon as you see Jongho firing the bullets and you smirk lightly holding her down and she fights back. “Oh shit,” you whisper when she jabs you on your forehead before you hold her down in a choking position.

With her free hand, she punches you on the lips and you feel offended. She did not just ruin your pretty lips, and you scoffed in annoyance before grabbing the spray from your waist and using it on her.

“Bitch, you could have hit any other place but these pretty lips?” you say before throwing her figure down for an amused Mingi to watch you.

The perp falls limp on the ground and you gesture at Mingi who gladly takes her back to the headquarters. You look around in confusion and Mingi shrugs as you see Jongho still shooting. You roll your eyes pulling him by the elbow and whisper, “Tell me you got the papers.”

“Let’s make a grand exit,” he grins cheekily and you look at him quizzically and pull him by the arm saying, “That doesn’t answer my question.”

He gives you a deaf ear shooting the fire extinguishing sprinklers as the water starts pouring. “What the actual-“ You don’t finish your sentence running out and looking at him in disbelief as he walks through the water like it is some sort of runway.

When he finally comes out after his “dramatic exit” you say, “I will be handling your CV to modelling agencies when we get back, just wait and see.”

He laughs and you scoff and stomp away as he follows you, the papers safely with Mingi sent back.

Back at the motel, he forcefully makes you sit down on the bed as he brings the first-aid kit out. You eye his ministrations and snicker when he accidentally pours some antiseptic on his fingers instead of the cotton.

“You should have told me you are hurt,” he says, lightly dabbing at the wound on your forehead first.

“Oh and stop your modelling, how on earth can I do that?” you fake a gasp and Jongho forcefully jabs your forehead and you slap his hand.

Jongho lightly flicks your forehead, his gummy smile etching his lips as he steps closer. He holds your jaw softly, turning your head up and your eyes follow his hands that busied themselves on cleaning the cut.

“Geez I am fine you big baby, I have got way bigger cuts than one on a forehead and a split lip,” you complain while Jongho carefully presses a piece of cotton between your lips. Your words get muffled and he smiles in a sinister way and says, “You are so much better when you don’t talk.”

You stick your middle finger at his face and he edges closer to you, looking down at you raises your eyebrows as you gaze back. “There are a lot more ways where I can make you quiet,” he smirks and continues, “Or make you scream louder.”

Your face flushes with warmth and reaches the tip of your ears at his words and your eyes widen. You look at your sides and see Jongho’s arms flexing as he holds the bed headboard. Fuck him and his apple-breaking arms, you think.

Fuck everything.

“Yeah?” you ask softly taking out the cotton from your lips and continuing, “Why don’t you show me the ways?”

Jongho raises his eyebrow dipping his head more and the closeness almost makes your noses touch and he asks, “You would like that wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe I will,” you speak, a mischievous smile tugging on your lips and before can count to another second Jongho’s lips press to yours in a desperate kiss. You stumble lightly from the pressure and hold his shoulders tilting your head. Your lips move in perfect sync and the kiss turns from rough and desperate to soft and sensual in seconds. His grip softens and he holds your hands while you caress his hair lightly. You feel him smile in the kiss and return it as you two part.

You love this about Jongho so much.

He smiles and you bite your lips feeling shy as he pecks your lips saying, “You were right, I am stupid.” You groan at him shaking your head and trying to cover his mouth but he continues, “Stupidly in love with you.”

“Oh my god, that is so cheesy,” you groan at him and he laughs before tackling you to the bed and kissing you all over the face while you giggle.

✸ㅤ ara's notesㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ that is it, the end of my series, tbf i had fun writing this one a lot ㅤㅤ»ㅤ series mlistㅤ ateez mlist ㅤ main mlist ㅤ naviㅤㅤ𠈔

✸ㅤ taglistㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ @haneagerr @tunaasan @evidive @huachengsbestie01 @philijack @atiny-lizbeth @chxnnii @nakiiko @therealcuppicake @weird-bookworm ㅤㅤ»ㅤㅤ if you liked the series you can join my taglistㅤㅤ𠈔

© arafilez on tumblr. please don't copy and repost my work as your own ▰▰ ✶

#▰▰ ✶ WØRLD EPISØDE FIN: WILL ⪨ #pirateeznet #cromernet #k-labels #choi jongho x reader #jongho x reader #jongho fic #choi jongho #ateez jongho #jongho #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez fluff #jongho fluff #jongho angst #jongho fanfic #jongho x y/n #ateez x female reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #ㅤ── ㅤara posts ㅤ𝜗𝜚 #˖ ⋈ ˚ ‹ ateez ›

[genderkoolaid]

In the last two decades, there has been a growing body of literature on trans health in India. However, most research is limited to HIV/AIDS and primarily focuses on trans women. Studies on trans men or transmasculine identities and their healthcare needs and experiences in India have received little scholarly attention. Even globally, the literature on trans men’s health is relatively scant, with existing studies conducted mainly in Western countries. There exists a dearth of government data and statistics on trans men in India. The only attempt to enumerate the transgender population was made by the national census, which categorised them as ‘other.’ The census estimated 4,87,803 transgender people in India. However, several transgender activists have argued that this number is a considerable miscalculation and an inaccurate representation of the entire transgender community in India. Moreover, the lack of official data on trans men also risks under-allocating funds for much-needed welfare programmes. Moreover, trans men experience direct and indirect discrimination in healthcare settings. Such experiences include being asked invasive or inappropriate questions about their bodies, invalidating their gender identity via misgendering, deadnaming, and being denied healthcare or receiving low-quality care. Sometimes, it also includes physical mishandling and verbal harassment by the hospital staff and co-patients or not being allowed to enter certain hospital wards or spaces. [...] For many trans men, the family becomes the first space for mental and physical violence and outright rejection of their identity, with instances of forced heterosexual marriages or corrective rape. Vinay (name changed), a 30-year-old trans man from Punjab, says, “Family says ‘you’re ruining our reputation, get married, have one-two kids and then everything will be fine.’ They even use rape as a measure saying ‘you don’t know who you are, and when it happens, then you’ll know [your true sexual orientation].’”  Many have to deal with uninformed healthcare providers unwilling to treat them because of their gender identity. Lack of knowledge amongst medical professionals and poor social understanding of trans men means that trans men often have to self-advocate and explain their health-related issues and gender identity to medical practitioners who constantly challenge or dismiss their identity. This self-advocacy and mental effort to explain or justify one’s gender identity and expression often leads to emotional exhaustion. Soham (name changed), a 24-year- old trans man from New Delhi, recounts his experience of going to a hospital,  “The doctor came and shouted my dead name. There were a lot of people in the emergency room and I remember feeling numb for a second…He shouted, ‘Is this you? Yehi naam hai aapka?’ (‘Is this you? Is this your name?’)…Then he literally pointed at my chest and said your chest is so flat, do you have your periods? I was numb and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t get my medicine, I didn’t tell him my problem, I just went home and I locked myself in my room for a week.” 

— I Didn’t Get My Medicine, And I Locked Myself In My Room For A Week (Trans Men Are Invisible in India's Healthcare) by Arushi Raj and Fatima Juned

#m. #rape tw #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity #transunity

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Question: I enjoyed s1 OF OFMD, but for various reasons I never actually got around to watching s2 (pick up most of the plot from tumblr tho). What exactly went wrong in s2 that got so many people upset?

Oh, boy. Very long rant incoming.

So, for context, S2 had a significantly smaller budget, which necessitated moving the filming location to union-unfriendly New Zealand, reducing the number of actors/number of appearances of established actors, and cutting down the number of episodes from 10 to 8. In a show where each episode is only about half an hour long, that last one alone was enough to seriously hamper any character development or plot. I am very comfortable putting the vast majority of the blame on HBO because of these financial decisions.

The short version is that Jenkins et. al. needed to address and build on the problems left hanging in S1 while also getting the characters to the end of their character trajectories in case there was no S3 while also leaving room for additional episodes in case there was a S3, in a grand total of four hours, and failed.

The long version is that there were a bunch of what I'd consider small problems in isolation that came together and exploded in the S2 finale.

The reduced cast necessitated breaking up the crew (ex: having Swede marry Jackie and stay on land with her, so they don't need to pay Nat Faxon for all eight episodes) and not spending as much time on their relationships as S1 did.

The reduced time meant that the entire season was rushed (in contrast to S1, which takes place over at least several weeks if not months, most of S2 takes place in roughly five days), leading both to a lot of telling rather than showing (because they don't have time to show you), including vital character and relationship development.

This includes:

Having the Kraken half of the crew beat Ed to death after months of being abused by him – abuse that is clearly shown to have given them PTSD and a well-justified fear and hatred of him – only for them to be okay with him two in-universe days later;

On that note, having Stede dismiss the crew's concerns about Ed because he loves him and also we only have three more episodes left to fit in everything so we need to get over it really fast, even though Stede is supposed to be well-meaning and caring (even if he's not good at it all the time);

Resolving the issue of Stede abandoning Ed in one day, then having them "go slowly" in their relationship for two days and then have some spur-of-the-moment sex, and then the next afternoon have them break up over their diverging career aspirations, and then the day after that resolve that problem and retire on land while the rest of the crew sails off into the sunset;

Stede becoming a fantastic pirate captain over the course of one day, becoming wildly popular in the piracy world two days later, and then deciding the day after that to never be a captain again because he is retiring with Ed;

Having Ed and Stede decide to retire together as what is implied to be the end point of their relationship arc, when none of Stede's issues from S1, like his poor self-esteem, have been so much as mentioned by anyone, implying that he's either magically gotten over them or they don't matter all that much, actually, even though they were the catalyst for basically everything he did in S1;

Ed having two separate character crises – "I am an unlovable person" and "I want to do something with my life other than piracy" – not spending a lot of time on either one, having moments that clearly indicate he is still working on both problems and they have not been resolved, and then apparently having them both be resolved in the final episode despite nothing occurring to actually make that happen, and in regards to the latter, despite the story actively undermining it by repeatedly showing he can't do anything other than piracy;

Related to the above, Ed ending the series as allegedly being loved by the crew as a family (thus solving Crisis #1) despite this never actually being shown, demonstrated, or even fucking alluded to onscreen. If anything, it shows the exact opposite.

This last point is especially galling to me because of what is probably the most divisive issue in the fandom right now: killing off Izzy Hands after giving him seven episodes of character development.

The show begins with the Kraken crew clearly trying to use the skills they learned as part of Stede's crew to cope with their incredibly shitty situation and care for each other, which includes Izzy. Izzy, on his end, tries to protect the crew and speak up for them, which results in him being repeatedly hurt (both implicitly, as Ed at one point says "that's another toe" in response to Izzy advocating for the crew and we later see he's missing more than one toe already, and explicitly, as Ed shoots him in the fucking leg in front of the crew when he stands up for them).

This camaraderie is shown again and again and again. Frenchie, Jim, and Archie take care of Izzy while his leg is infected, at risk to their own lives. Izzy's misery over losing his leg is what unites the PTSD-ridden Kraken crew and the well-meaning-but-ignorant-of-PTSD marooned crew, who are initially at odds, to make him a new prosthetic leg. Izzy gives Lucius advice about forgiving Ed. Izzy is introduced to drag and opens up enough to sing at a crew party, and the whole crew is having fun together while Ed and Stede are in their cabin having sex for the first time. Izzy gives Stede pirate captain lessons and bonds with him when Ed leaves him. Izzy provokes the season's villain into focusing on him and then gives a big speech about how piracy is about belonging to something, giving the rest of the crew time to try to escape.

Recall that Season 1 had some pretty well-established universe rules, one of which was that it runs on Muppet physics/magical realism. People can jump off yardarms, hit the side on the way down, and be perfectly fine. People can get stabbed in the liver and it's totally okay because it's probably not that important, and even can stay pinned to a mast all night that way with only mild discomfort. Buttons can talk to birds and see long distances without a spyglass and put hexes on people. Good people can be hurt (Stede is stabbed repeatedly), bad people can die (the Badmintons, Geraldo), but no one we care about is ever killed.

This is repeated in Season 2: Ed is beaten into a coma with a cannonball and wakes up like Sleeping Beauty after a spirit journey, with no injuries to his face or body. Buttons turns into a seagull after spending an episode doing a magic ritual and is never seen again (because they couldn't keep paying Ewen Bremner due to the budget cuts). Jackie microdoses her husbands with poison to build up their immunity, so that she can later pull a Dread Pirate Westley and poison the British with shared drinks.

So: in the finale, the villain of the season is taken hostage by the pirates (for reasons? unclear how that fits in the plan), happens to have a gun on him (no one checked??), shoots Izzy on the right side and then leaves with no repercussions. The entire crew stands around silently doing nothing while Ed cries over Izzy and tells him that he's his only family.

And Izzy fucking Hands, the guy who just spent eight episodes bonding with and protecting everyone, uses his last words to reassure Ed that him becoming Blackbeard/the Kraken was Izzy's fault and that the crew is Ed's family and they all love him. No one else says anything to Izzy or tries to comfort him or help him in any way.

I repeat: in a show predicated on the idea that bullies and bigots die stupid deaths while queer people and POC are basically magic, a show that was praised for being kind to queer people by not making them worry about their faves suffering or dying, a show founded on the strength of the relationships between the characters, the guy who went through a season-long arc of learning to embrace his pirate found family and his own queerness is shot for stupid reasons on the side we're told isn't important and dies while everyone just stands there. His last words are about the whole crew loving Ed when the only person that the whole crew has loved all season is him.

Anyway, never mind all that, let's cut to Lucius and Pete getting married and Stede and Ed retiring!

Complicating all this is that people who liked Izzy (or even said anything insufficiently mean about Izzy) were harassed for months in between seasons with insults, slurs, and actual fucking death threats. Izzy's growth was kind of a vindication for liking him: it meant that, despite all the harassment, we were right to like him and care about him as a character. Even people who didn't like him initially started to like him during Season 2.

And then he dies, and now there's a bunch of people saying that Izzy fans are big whiny babies who can't handle fictional death, and actually his death was so meaningful and beautiful and the only logical end to his arc, and it can't be bad writing because people die in real life all the time, and also he admitted he fed Ed's darkness so actually he was a terrible person all along anyway and they were right to hate him (and his fans)!

So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons why it's so hated, and I'm probably only addressing the problems of the pro-Izzy people (from what I can tell, BlackBonnet shippers who don't like Izzy think Ed and Stede's relationship is fine and dandy, but I'm sure that there are other criticisms they have that I have not addressed). I'm not even addressing the issues with Jim and Oluwande's relationship this season (and whooo boy are there issues).

It wasn't a universally bad season. There were episodes I really loved and still do. But the finale was a train wreck, and because it was a train wreck, a lot of people are looking back at what happened before the wreck and realizing that, oh, the train lost its brakes and steering because of the budget cuts and the engineers kept throwing fuel in the engine to make it go faster, and huh, now that I think of it, that part earlier in the trip was really wobbly but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was sure the engineers had everything covered.

#ofmd critical #our flag means death #writing #izzy hands #ofmd meta #askbox #personal