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cherry-leclerc · 3 months

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pride ☆ mv1

genre: smut, established relationship, stubborn!max, jealous!max, humor, fluff

word count: 3k

After his DNF, Max finds himself losing his temper when you keep insisting that it was his fault. Due to both ends, you find yourself in a constant battle on who can admit defeat first.

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+... gym sex - that's all teheee

req!...super fun to write, thank u, anon for the idea !!

He never liked to be pointed out as the one who did something wrong on track. Then again, he rarely ever made those types of mistakes. Max got along with everyone on the grid, but he was there to win. And he certainly did not need his girlfriend reminding him that he’s human, just like the rest of the drivers.

“Just admit it already, you fucked up this time. You cut him off.”

A DNF was as bad as it could get, his mood quickly deteriorated as he bangs his helmet against the wall. If you weren’t used to his dark behavior, then you would have definitely worried. Instead, you tap your foot impatiently with a deep sigh, eyes rolling with strong annoyance. You didn’t like to see him like this, but it drove you crazy that he could never own up to his wrongdoings.

The Dutch harshly rips off his balaclava, dirty blond hair sticking against his angry face, normally baby blue eyes switching to a devilish color. “You’re such a…” A deep growl. “He cut me off, and that’s what got us both out of the race. What a fucking dick.”

Your brow raises up, pointing at him with accusement. “My thoughts exactly.” Turning on your heel, you spin around and walk out of his driver's room, leaving him to sulk like a manchild. Stupid, Lando.

As soon as the race ends, you sheepishly make your way to the young Brit. “Is he mad?” he asks. You shrug as if you care about what your boyfriend is feeling at this very moment. Max wasn’t the kind to get mad, he got furious.

“He’ll get over it. Though I do suggest you run the opposite way if you spot him.” He laughs, eyes crinkling with agreement. After apologizing on behalf of the grumpy Dutchman, you hurry off to find him. Propped up against the door frame, you nervously play with the hem of your dress as you inch your way closer. You can practically see the color red blooming out of him as he smiles bitterly.

“And where were you?” His voice expands softly, it makes your stomach churn, but you put on a brave face nonetheless, refusing to give in to his ego. It doesn’t matter. He chuckles, rolling his tongue against the inside of his cheek, head shaking in disapproval. “Aren’t I the one you should be consoling? I don’t see why you had to go see him.”

Your eyebrows narrow down sharply. “Max, you’re being a fucking baby, you caused the crash! Lando was just unlucky and I went to let him know, is that so wrong?”

The Dutch fumes, jaw clenching. “You can go see him, I don’t give a fuck, but stop saying it was my fault. He closed in on me.” You scoff, arms crossed. “This is pure bullshit.”

“Whatever, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m glad you’re alright,” you sourly say, pushing past him to go and retrieve your things, getting ready to leave back to the hotel. His nose twitches, following after you. Neither of you utter a single word, simply packing and strolling out the door. As soon as the media gets involved and Lando walks by with a shy smile and wave, he instinctively grabs your hand, leading you through the tight crowd with a bright smile, despite his crash.

Setting aside your differences, you’re grateful for his sweet gesture, even if it laces with a bit of possessiveness. The drive is tense, only the sound of the blinker being heard. You try adding some music, but as soon as he turns off the radio, you turn to him, hair slapping your flushed face. “Why did you do that?” Your hand slides back up, turning it on. He repeats his same actions, leaving you to burn lasers to the side of his head.

“Your music is complete shit.” Surprised by his cold tone, your right eye twitches like a crazy person before turning your attention back towards the road. He feels bad. He’s not mad at you, not even at his friend. But he wasn’t the biggest fan of letting his team down, and much less, owning up to it.

Pushing the door open, you march in, making your way to the bathroom, ready to shower off the irritation. Max trails after you without a second thought, then you slam the door right on his face. He blinks. He can hear you turning the water on, stripping down. “You’re taking a shower by yourself this time, you dickhead.”

The next few races run smoother as he finishes in first place for most of them. All of them, actually. But his wins aren’t worth it in the end. Not with your rigid congratulations, forced kisses as you wait for him along with a puddle of photographers. It shouldn’t strike him as strange; you were still upset. For a second, he considers putting his pride aside and try to fix things, make amends, but when you mumble next to him, he quickly throws that out the window.

“Baby finally got fed his bottle.”

All his pent up emotions came rushing back as you wear an innocent smile. With a sullen glare, he walks out, leaving you to gloat. Two can play that game.

Here’s the thing with yours and Max's relationship; it was amazing. A fucking dream. You loved each other like crazy, but when you both get into an argument, it can drag out for the longest time. Your friends had pointed it out countless times, accusing you two for being freakishly stubborn. Oftentimes, he’d be the first to give up and apologize, and sometimes it was you. Only this time, it looked like a long haul.

It was a weird dynamic. He still kissed you goodbye, reminded you how much he loved you. You still attended his races, glowed with sincere happiness for every podium of his, but apart from that, you two still held on to your end of the rope. And it’s been so long. One month? Maybe two?

“Four fucking months,” Max grunts, large hands fixing his drinking straw that connects to his suit. The Dutch is clearly frustrated, Checo could tell as he warily eyes his teammate. The Mexican driver poured out an amused chuckle. Max curls a dark brow. “What?”

Checo halts. “Nothing, man. You’re just being so…how do I put this nicely?” He clicks his fingers enthusiastically. “You’re acting like a douchebag. Puras pendejadas, lo que estás haciendo.” The blue eyed boy shakes his head.

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” He walks away.

“It means you’re doing stupid shit for absolutely no reason. Take it from me, I’m married! I know what I’m talking about, and as your elder, I suggest apologizing. It’ll fix everything, trust me.” But Max only ignores him, already climbing into his car. As much as he would love to try and make things right with the woman he adores like a complete idiot, there’s always something that ruins it. Whether it’s you witty reminders, or your cruel ignorance.

Though, he feels like he’s going crazy. He can feel his hands itch as they beg to hug you the way they were used to. Or to kiss your plump lips, slightly red from your constant nibbles. You can feel his eyes on you as you cut up a group of vegetables, getting things ready for dinner. Like a tease, you bend down to pick up the bag of carrots that had just fallen. You giggle. “Whoops.”

Abruptly, he stands up. “I’m going to get in a small workout before we eat.” That’s all. Left there with your jaw on the floor, you slam the knife against the cutting board.

You missed him. You’d be insane not to. You missed cuddling with him after a long day. You missed the way he would cradle your face to kiss you eagerly after every win. Now it’s almost as if you’re a couple of strangers with the way he keeps a careful distance. And if he wasn’t going to fix things, then you would force him to.

He hears you before he actually sees you. Not a single word escapes past your lips as you skip closer. His molars grind together when he notices your tiny skirt, paired with a tank top. Perky tits salute him as he holds back a groan. Smiling sweetly, you start to stretch. “Thought I’d join you. Didn’t want to eat without you.”

His heart squeezes, ghostly nodding. Adjusting himself on the bench, he starts his set of overhead presses. Loopy eyes circle his glistening muscles as he pants tiredly, shaky breaths bouncing off of him. You have to physically stop yourself from drooling an entire ocean.

The blue eyed boy leads an impressive set, a thin layer of sweat coating him like a blanket. One you would gladly roll around in. Pursing your lips, your limbs feel extremely weak all of a sudden and decide to settle with laying down and bringing your legs up, skirt sliding down, exposing your soft skin.

“So tight,” you whine when you reach up, muscles tied up in an uncomfortable spot. Intrigued, your boyfriend takes a peek and instantly curses, large hands gripping against the metal bar. He gulps. “Maxie, can you push my legs back for me?”

His breath hitches. “No. I’m sure you can do that yourself.”

Sitting up straight, you squint your beady eyes at him as he distracts himself by adding more weight to his set. You click your tongue, a menacing grin tugging at your pink lips. “Messed up, baby, you are messed up.”

Max curses himself for falling in love with someone as beautiful as you. It seriously messed him up a concerning amount. Suddenly there was no more cold demeanor when it came to you. That simply just belonged to the rest because you were everything to him.

“First, you’re too much of a pussy to admit your mistakes and now you’re too scared to get near me?” You scoff. “It’s all starting to add up.”

Except at this very moment.

“And what exactly is that? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Kneeling down onto the black mat, you stretch your arms out against it, and lay your back flat. You hum. “Oh.” You arch your back, ass angling upwards where his eyes quickly trace to. You smirk. “Nothing.”

If he weren’t so impressed by your bratty act, he would have definitely walked out on you. But you just looked so pretty, rosy, and you were glistening. He wonders what else there was on top of that. The Dutch moves on to a bench press. Huffing, he grits his teeth as he extends his arm before puffing and bringing them back down.

The 26 year old, despite your attempts, was as focused as he could possibly be. The adrenaline was lingering in his entire system as he kept his eyes trained upward. Chest locking tightly, muscles contracting. And then he hears it. Your tiny moans, soft whimpers.

The loud sound of him dropping the weight makes you jump up a bit before looking up. He finds you in your first position you had started with when you first stepped foot into the home gym. He can feel his cock press harshly against his white shorts. “Why are you…” He trails off when your mouth drops open, brows scrunching together. Your thighs beg to be kissed. Slippery arms tug your legs closer to you as you giggle.

“My legs are too tight.” His chest tightens. “Help me get more flexible?” you press innocently as you signal for him to push your legs. “Please, Maxie.”

Sighing, he nods. As soon as he steps close to you, he can feel your pouring lust, fuck me eyes staring back up at his frame. Grabbing the heels of your feet, he pushes back as you groan. “Oh shit.” You laugh, chest vibrating against the mat. “I really needed the extra push.”

He grimaces. A silence lingers between you two before you wiggle your left foot against his palm. He raises a confused brow. I’m going to tuck it to my chest. Just hold the right one. Doing as instructed, you sigh in relief, lashes fluttering. He holds back a much needed grunt. “You’re telling me you couldn’t do this yourself?”

You nip the air. “We’re not all professional athletes, Max. I needed you.”

You can see how hard your implication is hitting him as his gaze darkens. And just as he’s about to reach out for you, you wiggle your brows. Next leg. Snapping out of trance, he eyes the way your skirt rides down your skin. In a swift movement, he lets go and takes a staggered step back. You grin. What’s wrong?

“You’re crazy.”

Standing up, you place both hands on your waist. “Why?”

Max doesn’t even recall when he pins you against the wall, your hair flying from the impactful blow, and yet, you’re smirking. Kissing you harshly, you groan, leaning against your tippy toes as you struggle to breath. He seems to be lost in your lips as he cradles your face, teeth clashing against yours at the filthy action. “You’re so beautiful,” he pants, blues staring back. “So fucking beautiful.”

Whimpering, you reach back out for him, plump lips attacking his thick neck as he sighs. The purple bruises were definitely something he would hound you on tomorrow, but for now that was the least of his worries. Admiring the colorful spot, you lick it slowly. He shudders.

“I can suck something else, you know?”

You almost don’t recognize his growl, for you haven’t heard it in so long, that it catches you by surprise as he spins you around, bending you over the nearest counter, where his wall of protein stands. He hitches your skirt up as you gasp when his fingers slide inside of you. The way he stretches you out makes you see stars as you struggle to keep upward.

“Wore this just for me, right? You knew it would drive me crazy?” His long fingers curl at the perfect angle as you nod. Yes, yes. I wore it just for you. I knew you’d like it. You squeal when he lifts you up, tits pressing against the cold marble, legs dangling like a doll. His doll. He watches the way you swallow his digits. “I fucking love it, baby…”

Then, he’s down on his knees as he wraps his lips around your clit. Moaning loudly, you press your cheek against the cool tiles, saliva dripping out of your mouth at the sensation. In your fucked up state, you still reach out for him as he grabs your hand. “You taste so sweet,” he hums. You’re close to crying when he pulls away, but calm down when he thrusts into you.

The Dutch throws his head back as soon as your velvety walls wrap around his cock, the way you swallow him whole. Makes him hate himself for holding onto his pride for so long. For keeping you away. His heart races when you prop yourself on your elbows as stare back at him with tired, lustful eyes. He grins, slapping your ass as you yelp. You ass tilts up as he watches you struggle to keep up.

Warm hands come up to keep you close to him as you bite down on your lip. “You’re a fucking brat, but God, I hate it because you were right. I pushed him off. I did, I did, I did…” His dirty hair sticks against his face as you bounce forward with every pound. “But he was making you laugh - smile - and I just couldn’t handle that.”

Your heart stops. This was news to you because there was no way the Max you knew so well would break his winning streak all due to a friendly encounter. He pecks your bare shoulder. “I don’t think you understand how much I love you.”

“Then show me.”

WIth that, he holds onto your hips with more grip as his tip brushes repeatedly against your g-spot. You’re a mess, but he’s loving every second of it. As soon as he wraps a large hand around your breast, you’re gone, spluttering white all around him as he follows. With a croaky groan, he slips out as you fall back to your original spot. He chuckles. He fixes your skirt before helping you sit up to face him. Your eyes crinkle.

“You love me,” you say in a sing-song voice as you poke his dimple. I thought I made that clear. You scrunch your nose, pecking his face all over with sloppy kisses. He playfully winces, but accepts nonetheless. “You love me, love me. Why would you ever worry about me and Lando? You know he’s just a friend.”

His smile drops as it's replaced with a scowl. “I wasn’t worried, per se. I don’t like someone else making you laugh. That’s my job.”

Your brows arch. “What are you suggesting? That I just keep mute for the rest of my days, unless I’m with you?”

Max shrugs. “Sounds like a solid plan.”

You smack his chest as he throws his head back with laughter. “No. Not a solid anything. Max, I love you.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“Okay,” you confirm, fixing your posture, lips pursing. “But please never do that again, that’s just plain out dangerous and crazy. A big no-no, Emilian.” He glares and your lips wobble childishly. “You love wins, and I love celebrating them with you. It just works.”

“You know what doesn’t work?” he retorts as he hugs you. You hum, comfortable against his warmness. “Not talking to me for four months, what were you thinking?” You push him away abruptly. We spoke! “But we didn’t fuck, and that’s the same thing.”

Crossing your arms, you roll your eyes as he stares back in awe. “If you keep this up then I’m going to crank it up to eight,” you threaten.

The Dutch nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck before you cave in. “Let’s not do that. You’d be breaking my heart.”

taglist: @myownwritings @d3kstar @crucifiedbitch

*note: i've only tagged those who asked to be included in general. i've kept that apart from the method acting series taglist!! lmk in which you would like to be, just in case!

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nxuvillette · 6 months

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“LET’S KEEP THIS HUSH, HUSH.”

CEO SECRET RELATIONSHIP W/ TR MEN

synopsis: messing with the ceo of your rivaling company didn’t seem that hard to let go of.. or did it?

❥- including : ran haitani, sanzu haruchiyo, rindou haitani

❥- note : trying this again! praying it actually works 😭 reblogs are appreciated!!

content warnings: nsfw [17+], fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, ceo!reader, bonten timeline, all men are ceo’s, mentions of harassment (sanzu), praising, use of pet names (baby , angel , princess), slight breeding kink (ran + rindou), creampie (all), some possessive behavior, mentions of pregnancy (rindou).

♡ RAN HAITANI

you never expected to fall for someone like ran haitani.

he was cunning, attractive, and quite a clever man. he also ran one of the best businesses in all of Roppongi. he attracted all kinds of women by just doing simply nothing, so when he saw you at a club, you didn’t think it would be anything more than a quickie in the bathroom.

that quickie turned into dates, hookups at his apartment, and him taking you out more than you had anticipated.

however, all of that changed when you discovered that ran just wasn’t a ceo for some random company, but it was the same company that rivaled yours. your father had some previous ties to the business and he seemed to have forgotten to mention it to you when you took hold of the reins. you were now worried. as a ceo of your own company, you placed yourself at risk for possibly sabotaging things that your father had worked so hard to create.

but, you just couldn’t help yourself.

your face was smooshed into the leather of ran’s expensive couch. his fingertips danced along your spine while his cock lazily dragged inside of your walls. you had told yourself you weren’t going to see him tonight. you wanted to ignore his text messages, but there was something about his presence that drew you in. he was addictive.

“you’re taking me so well, angel..” he squeezed the plush of your ass, savoring how soft your skin was.

your eyes rolled back from how well ran was fucking you. there was just something about how he did it that made you light on fire. it’s what made you come crawling back to him every single time. “a-ah! ran! yes, right there!” you mewled when the tip kissed that spongy spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure over you.

the older haitani loved how pretty you sounded right now. he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. you were too damn perfect to ever pass up. he didn’t give a single shit if you two were meant to be “rivals.” how was someone like him supposed to never see someone like you? you were one of the only women he genuinely saw himself being comfortable with. he didn’t want to be a secret, but for you, he’d do absolutely anything.

his grip on your hips tightened and his pace suddenly became quicker than it had originally begun. “ran! fuck, fuck, cum inside me!” you cried, turning your head just a little so you could see his handsome face.

he couldn’t stop the smirk he wore from writing itself on his face. god, he had been wanting to do that for so damn long. “ah..? okay, baby, i’ll make sure you’re nice and full when i’m done..” he cooed, pushing you further into the couch.

skin slapped against each other as ran’s pace was practically animalistic. he groaned deeply when he finally met his release. spurts of his cum made its way into your cunt, making you shiver from how it felt. that had been the first time he had ever came inside you, and you honestly craved it a lot. it was so amazing.

he pulled out of you, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “i’ll gladly be your secret, baby, but nobody better touch you other than me..”

♡ SANZU HARUCHIYO

you met sanzu in an odd way one evening. you were on the way home from your long and tiring work day when some random guy kept egging you on. he kept making comments towards you and practically begging for you to give him any ounce of attention.

well, the guy didn’t end up leaving you alone, and he ended up trailing after you in a pretty shitty part of town. you couldn’t lie that you weren’t scared. the sun had already set and that guy was hot on your tail. you could try calling the police but you knew full well that they wouldn’t get there in time to help you, so you tried your best to rush out of there and lose the guy.

unfortunately, he caught up to you and ended up yanking on your arm. you let out a scream and shoved him away from you, but he was quite strong. you thought you were about to be robbed or even worse, but that all immediately fizzled out when someone had intervened. a man with bubblegum pink hair had the guy shoved on the ground. he kicked and beat the shit out of the guy, leaving him completely scared and helpless on the dirty floor.

sanzu had tended to you the moment he saw your frightened expression. he brought you to the police station and you reported the man who had been following you. you thought that would be the last time you’d ever see him, but that wasn’t the case.

you saw him more often than you should have. you two started a connection with each other and began to go out to bars or even little dates. you tried to tell yourself it was just platonic, but you disliked how your heart would often skip a beat whenever you saw his name light up on your phone. the only issue was that sanzu was the head of a huge company in Tokyo. he rivaled you, and seeing him could cause issues within your business. however, you just couldn’t stay away.

that’s how you ended up in your own office with sanzu hovering above you. his cock bullied your walls, making it difficult for you to keep quiet. “mmm.. sanzu! oh, god..” you moaned, looking at him through your eyelashes.

a smile stretched across his scarred lips. he knew from the beginning that you were his rival. he had seen you before, but he could care less. you were a beautiful woman and he couldn’t lie that you made him happy. “keep sayin’ it, baby, scream out my fuckin’ name so everyone in this building knows who’s making you feel good..” he then began to play with your swollen clit, increasing the pleasure.

you practically screamed his name when you finally came all over his cock. he thought it was so cute seeing you becoming such a mess for him. “s-sanzu! sanzu!” you whined, trembling within his hands from your orgasm.

your desk began to creak from the movements and the weight you both were putting on it. sanzu’s pace was rough and fast. you could hardly keep up with him. his cock was twitching and within seconds he felt himself let go inside of you. he loved how warm your pussy felt around him. he just couldn’t help himself.

he kissed you sloppily, biting on your lower lip. “don’t think we’re much of a secret now, are we..?”

♡ RINDOU HAITANI

rindou haitani was quite the charmer. he didn’t have the best luck with women, but when he did, he treated them like angels. that was no different when he met you at one of the clubs he DJ at.

he drew you in almost instantly. his expensive cologne, lavender hair, a smile that could make any girl drop her panties. you knew hooking up with him that night would be good, and you thought it would be just a simple one night stand. most men your age never really stuck around after one sex filled evening, so you placed your expectations below what they usually were.

though, it shocked you when rindou continued to message you, even after your hookup.

although you were a little unsure of his intentions, you decided to keep seeing him. he took you out on nice dates, and he had even went as far as buying you a few nice gifts from expensive stores. it wasn’t until your assistant pointed out who rindou actually was that you realized how wrong it looked to be seeing someone like him. rindou ran a company that rivaled yours. it shocked you that you hadn’t noticed far sooner, but you just couldn’t stay away from him.

you repeated to yourself over and over that you wouldn’t fuck him again. you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

but, your body had betrayed you and that desire for him lit like a candle in the dark.

rindou had your legs around his waist. his thrusts were deep and fast, making you cry out in pleasure every single time he reached those great spots inside you. he had you just where he wanted you. “rindou..! fuck, it feels so good..!” you threw your head back onto the pillow behind you.

“heh, you enjoying yourself? you’re so fucking beautiful..” he groaned, leaning down to nibble at your neck.

you gasped when rindou bit down on that sweet spot on your neck. he sucked on it hard enough that there would for sure be a mark afterwards. it’s like he was begging for you two to be caught by others. that thought alone didn’t seem to bother rindou. if anything, he wanted people to know what you two were doing with each other.

you clawed at his back when you felt your orgasm hit you harder than a truck. rindou couldn’t help but grunt when your pussy clamped around his cock so perfectly. fuck, it’s like you were made for him. “so good for me, baby, so fuckin’ good..” he quickened his thrusts, inching him closer to his high. “want me to cum in you..? make this pretty pussy all mine?”

“y-yes! yes, please, rindou!” you cried, nodding your head.

he held your thighs tightly, fucking the absolute shit out of your cunt. you were so fucking great. he never found someone like you. he didn’t care what your statuses might be. all he wanted was you.

rindou groaned one last time then he reached his climax. he had completely let go inside of you. thick cum filled your womb, leaving a huge mess inside. you took it all so well. he didn’t want to leave your snug walls. “wanna go again..? maybe i can give you a baby while i’m at it..” he smirked.

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work !#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #ran x reader #sanzu x reader #rindou x reader #rindou smut #ran smut #sanzu smut #ran haitani smut #sanzu haruchiyo smut #rindou haitani smut

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pedroshotwifey · 1 month

Note

Do you think you could write a nervous Joel fic... like he's older and a single dad and hasn't dated in a REALLY REALLY long time...but he's still really sweet, maybe he has to stop and eat reader cos he's about to cum too soon or something 🤷‍♀️😭

Hey, babe!! So I hope this is what you were hoping for! It's super tender and I did end up listening to Hozier for a good portion of it, so do with that information what you will 😅

Also, I kind of did something a bit different and wrote it more from Joel's perspective, but it's still in 2nd person (pronouns = you)! Pls lmk how you feel about it ❤

Pairing: Older Joel Miller x afab!reader

Tags/warnings: Age gap (not specified), piv sex, oral sex (f), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, established relationship, (almost) premature ejaculation, accidental love confessions 🤭, self deprecating Joel™, big dick Joel™, kissing, stuff I'm probably forgetting

W/C: 1.9k

Summary: Your and Joel's first time together turns into so much more.

What Matters

“Are you sure, baby?”

Joel watches as your eyes flick up to him, only kindness and patience in them. Even as you smile warmly and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him to you, he still has a sense of cautiousness in his movements. You’ve probably lost track of how many times he’s asked you if you’re sure.

“Yes, Joel, I’m sure,” you laugh breathily.

You’re both lying in his bed, half-naked. There’s a soft summer breeze coming in through the window and rustling the sheer curtains. The sun’s going down, but just barely, causing a perfect golden hue to coat the room. He can’t help but think that you look even more gorgeous than usual in this lighting.

Joel tries to ignore the nervousness in his stomach as he softly kisses your jaw and nuzzles up to you. He’s not stupid, he knows that you know he’s just trying to waste time, but you let him. You’re so fucking sweet like that. Always making him feel so wanted and appreciated. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you in this way, but that he’s worried he won’t be perfect for you. He wants to be able to show you affection in the same way that you show him.

But what if he can’t?

You’re younger, after all, and he’s not been with a woman in so long. Maybe not since Sarah’s mom. If that’s the case, it’s been about fifteen, sixteen years. Point in case, you’re probably used to boys who can last longer and can make you come every time. What if he can’t? What if it’s been so long now, that he only lasts a couple of minutes?

It terrifies him, the prospect that you may be disappointed in his performance. What if you decide to leave him because he’s not enough to get you off? No, he realizes, you would never do that. You’re so good, so thoughtful and generous and patient. You’d wait for him, help him get back to the point where he used to be.

But that’s not what he wants. He wants to be good for you now.

“Joel?”

His name falling from your lips has his head raising back up. You look into his eyes with a desperation that he simply can’t ignore.

“Please,” you whisper before planting a feather-light kiss to his lips. He nods slowly before he can think about it.

“Alright, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

And he does, he knows it. He just hopes he can do it right.

You’re already prepped. He spent probably half an hour fingering you to orgasm even though you had begged for the real thing each time you fell apart on his hand. It’s another thing he was worried about—being so big. Joel’s not a super cocky man by any means, but he is aware of his…attributes.

He watches you carefully as he grasps his cock and guides it to your slippery entrance. Your eyes flutter shut as he pushes in, giving you about an inch each time he thrusts. His jaw goes slack once he’s about halfway in. You’re so fucking warm and wet and inviting. He keeps going, trying to keep his breathy whines at bay. He’s again reminded of just how long it’s been since he’s felt something other than the palm of his hand around himself.

“Shit, baby,” he breathes as he bottoms out. He closes his eyes in concentration and lets his head hang next to yours. He already feels like he might blow his load at any second. You bring a hand up to cup his head and thread his curls through your fingers, holding him close. His breathing is heavy when he lifts himself back up to look into your eyes.

His heart seems to skip a beat when he sees the adoration you’re looking at him with. It kills him every time. And no matter how many times you tell him that he deserves all your affection, he knows he’ll still find a lingering doubt in the back of his mind. There’s a reason the two of you have only been “together” for about four months even though you’ve been shamelessly flirting for about a year.

It was just too good to be true. For such a sweet, gentle thing like you to want a rough old man like him. He was never the one to initiate anything, but he knows you’ve been aware that he had his sore eyes set on you since you met. How could he not? He’s never met anyone so kind and considerate. It was impossible to deny you of him any longer when it was one of the only things you’ve ever wanted for yourself.

“You okay?” Your honeyed voice reaches his ears—or his good ear, rather—and he smiles at you.

“‘Course, baby. Jus’ gotta give me a second, alright?” He can feel his cheeks getting a bit rosy at the confession. “It’s been a minute.”

You nod, still no hesitation or any sign of regret. God, what did he do to deserve you?

Once he collects himself, he pulls out just barely, and a groan tumbles from his mouth to mingle with your soft moan. He’s already starting to sweat from the effort of not coming too soon as he starts to push into you at a slow but rhythmic pace. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and tuck your head into his chest as you whimper with his thrusts.

“You feel so good,” you whine.

“Fuck, sweetheart, so d’ you. “Like goddamn heaven.” And you do; overwhelmingly so.

He cradles your head and lowers the two of you even more to deepen his thrusts. He knows he’s found your spot when your breath catches and you start to tighten around him every time he pumps his hips. Unfortunately, this makes it a lot harder for him to keep his composure.

“H-honey, I have to pull out,” he grits out. He’s so embarrassed, it hasn’t even been five minutes. He won’t last long enough for you to come before him.

But you just nod into him, even though you must be devastated by the loss of your orgasm. “It’s okay, Joel,” you breathily assure him.

He pulls out and squeezes the base of his cock, out of breath. He doesn’t meet your gaze as he starts to apologize.

“I’m sorry, baby, I—”

“Joel,” You stop him by carefully grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at you. “It’s okay.” You nod, waiting for him to do the same before you continue. “Take as much time as you need. I love you no matter what. This does not determine—”

You both realize what you said at the same time. Joel’s eyes widen and his chest feels like it caved into itself. Your lips stay still, parted in the middle of your sentence. Joel doesn’t realize tears have gathered in his eyes until his vision starts to blur and a smile spreads across his face.

You love him. You said it. And he believes you.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispers and lets his forehead rest against yours. “So damn much.” Fuck his age and whoever might see a problem with you being together. He wants this, and you want this, and that’s all that matters.

Then you’re both laughing shakily, pressing kisses to each other’s lips. He only stops to start trailing them down your body instead, watching you writhe as his mustache tickles your bare skin.

“Joel, p-please,” you beg quietly. Joel just huffs a small laugh through his nose as he lays himself between your legs, ignoring his protesting knees as he admires the entirety of you laying out just for him. You look fucking beautiful covered in a thin sheen of sweat atop his sheets, needy and panting all for him.

He doesn’t waste too much time before putting his mouth on your sweet pussy, his tongue dragging up your slit to flick at your clit. Joel moans at your taste, sending vibrations racing toward your swollen bud. Your hips buck as your hands fly to grasp at his hair, tugging lightly and making his eyes roll back.

He feasts on you like his life depends on it, worshiping you with all he has. He takes turns in running his tongue up you, fucking you with it the best he can, and suckling on your clit. He looks like a damn mess as he does so, his eyes not leaving your cunt unless he’s watching your face contort with pleasure. When you make eye contact with him, he knows he must look fucked out and desperate just based on the way you groan and lay your head back.

It doesn’t take much for you to get to the edge, and it takes even less for him to push you over. You let out sharp, whiny sounds as he sucks on your clit and slips a couple of fingers inside of you to grip on to. Your entire body goes tense, and Joel has to resist the urge to smirk against you as you shake with the force of your orgasm.

By the time you’re coming down, he’s back over you and slipping his tongue inside your mouth to share your taste. You moan into the kiss and pull him closer as he once again glides his tip into your cunt. Just as he had hoped, the distraction calmed him down enough to hopefully give him some more time.

You both melt into each other as he bottoms out, the tip of his swollen cock hitting your cervix and making your thighs squeeze his torso. He starts at a faster pace than last time, too deep in his lust-filled haze to even try to slow down now.

You pull away from his mouth to start leaving love bites on his neck, making his cock twitch inside of you with each pinch. He can feel you smile against his skin, and knows that you’ve found his secret. He does like a little pain with his pleasure. You keep going, sucking and biting marks before licking soothingly over them and moving to the next spot. You taste him like you’re addicted, like you could never possibly get enough.

It still doesn’t take him as long as he would like to before he starts to feel his balls drawing up and his thighs start to shake. His head goes foggy as he tries to hold on for you, but it’s too fucking much. He can’t hold it off when you feel so good around him. It’s like torture to stave off his orgasm when he’s thrusting into your soft heat.

“Where d’ you want me, honey?” Joel asks you, his voice strained.

“Inside,” you whisper against his neck without a second thought.

And it throws him over. He groans your name as his body stutters and his balls empty, coating your walls with his milky spend. It seems to go on forever. Each time he thinks he’s almost done, there’s another spurt and another wave of pleasure that tugs him deeper into euphoria.

When it does end, he lets himself half-collapse on top of you. You embrace him with welcoming arms and the two of you catch your breath together in the now dark bedroom. He only pulls out once sleep threatens to take the both of you. A shower, snack, and a glass of water later, you both snuggle up together and fall asleep with content smiles and full hearts.

*****

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kissitbttr · 2 years

Text

eddie munson dating a mean fem!cheerleader who’s only nice to him <3

“sorry I didn’t hear you bitch, what?!”

the loud bang and voice causes the conversations amongst the cafeteria starts to quiet down. all heads turning to the source where the voice coming from. including eddie, who has his eyes bug out like a kid getting caught sneaking his hand into the cookie jar. immediately knowing who that voice belongs to.

it’s you.

you have your hand on a somegirl’s head, pressing it against an empty table. it draws so many peoples attention with their terrified expressions written on their faces. some of them are even whispering to each other wether or not to help the poor girl out and take you away, but they know better than to upset you.

“dude… you should go there” dustin leans over to eddie with a soft whisper, as if he’s afraid that you’ll hear him. “she’s gonna kill her.”

“eh” he munches on his fries, a proud smirk plasters across his face, eyes never leaving you. “let her. she’s fucking hot when she gets feisty.”

dustin gapes at him, “what kind of boyfriend would let their girlfriend kill another girl?!”

“me” he simply answers, feeling himself growing more turned on when he watches you furrow your brows in anger and teeth gritting, while putting your mouth close to the girl’s ear, threatening her more.

oh he’s definitely fucking you from behind later,

“I-im sorry” the blonde girl chokes out, her eyes are shut in fear and body won’t stop shaking due to your rough grip around her shitty ponytail. “i promise … p-please-“

“yeah, you promise right? because if i saw you do what you did again, i will fucking come for you, you stupid fuck” you harshly say against her ear, throwing her shaking body to the floor, earning loud gasps from around. “racist bitch.”

with that, you fix your skirt and sleek your messy hair back and turn around. seeing a bunch of bewildered looks on students making you scoff and roll your eyes. “the fuck are you guys looking at? go do something!”

in seconds, the crowd begins to break. not giving you nor the girl laying on the floor any more attention. though the tension is still there.

you begin to scan through the crowd, trying to find your boyfriend. and the moment you lock eyes with him, your frown is replaced with a bright smile, squealing as you hurriedly walk over to his table in your gogo boots. he instantly stands from his seat, mirroring your expression with his arms wide open.

"puddin!" you call, quickly jumping onto him.

"hi baby" he chuckles, keeping a tight grip around your waist. "quite a show you put on there" he nods to the crying girl.

"oh, that?" you innocently point out, "well she did something bad so I had to talk to her."

he sits back down in his chair, patting his lap for you. "talked? think you did more than that, sweetheart."

"oh well." you shrug, crossing your legs as you keep your arms around his shoulder, playing with his chocolate curls. "she deserved it."

"what did she do?" gareth pipes in, glancing down at your exposed thighs. gulping as he begins to check you out.

unfortunately, eddie notices, frowning in disappointment. "hey! eyes off my girl you little shit" he warns, pointing a finger at him. glaring at the curly-headed fellow.

gareth's eyes widen, face turning red in embarrassment as he looks away making you giggle.

"oh don't worry about him gar-bear. he's just a little protective." you cup eddie's cheeks, turning him to look at you. "you're still my man, baby." you plant a kiss on his lips, causing the table to groan in disgust.

"oh shut up. if you had a hot piece of ass for a girlfriend like y/n. you'd let her do whatever she wants to you." eddie slaps your ass a bit, making you jump.

"yeah yeah, you have a girlfriend now. we get it." mike waves him off, eyes rolling. "you didn't answer the question, y/n."

"what? oh yeah! she was making fun of your club. and said some very very offensive remarks about eddie and lucas." you shrug, twirling one of eddie's locks. "I had to do something, obviously. can't let that bitch get away with what she said. i had to get physical."

"it was?" eddie's heart begins to warm. never in his life had someone defended him like that. "oh sweetcheeks, you didn't have to."

"uhm, yes i did have to." you reply in an obvious tone, "you mean a lot to me. and I know these guys and the club mean so much to you, baby. so that makes them important to me as well."

“i fucking love you, you know that?” he sighs dreamily, tucking away the loose curl from your face. “if i could take you right here-“

the hellfire kids immediately groan, covering their ears as they complain to their ‘master’ about his sexual implication. hearing that only makes you laugh even more and for eddie to roll his eyes back.

“woah woah dude, not at lunch please. it’s gross.”dustin begs, shaking his head in disgust as he points down at the meal.

“well” you start, biting your lip while standing up. “i saw chem class is free, you wanna go there with me so we can-” you’re immediately cut off by eddie jumping off from his seat right away nearly tipping the chair down. eyes wide in excitement as he nods vigorously

“yes. fuck yes. i need you right now, you don’t need to ask” he desperately begins, hands wrapped around your waist as the go down to squeeze your ass. not caring that people are probably watching. “think i can get you off in fifteen, baby?”

“i like to see you try” you purr, batting your lashes at him. “because i’m planning to get you off in ten.”

he lets out his shaky sigh“jesus fuck- i gotta go guys. move the meeting later after school.” he turns to say to his friends while grabbing your arms tight and rushes away with you who’s giggling like crazy.

“what- no! eddie!” dustin calls out his name, watching the two lovebirds disappear from the cafeteria. he sighs in frustrations, hands on his hips as he hears the piles of complaints coming from the guys.

“fucking horn dogs”

#eddie munson #eddie munson blurbs #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie things #eddie munson x mean!cheerleader

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grimm-writings · 2 months

Text

pathetic

…ft! dan heng, topaz, argenti, seele x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, pining, reader is oblivious as HELL!!!, seele’s slightly suggestive

…wc! 210 ; 319 ; 258 ; 305 = 1092

…notes! pathetic crushing… i cannot and will not ever stop vouching for pathetic pining in this house !!!!!!!

Dan Heng is painfully aware of how he looks right now. If it wasn’t March giving him the biggest shit-eating grin, it was Himeko trying hard to look polite as she hides her giggles, or even Mr Yang pretending he isn’t paying attention.

You. You really haven’t the slightest clue what you’re doing to him.

Every time you visit him in the Express’s archives, Dan Heng would light up. He wouldn’t do that for any such person usually. His excuse is that you bring him snacks. You would never complain, saying that you’d take this Dan Heng over the one with a poker face and sarcastic bites, even if he is just as cute.

How can you say that so casually?

One particular visit, he couldn’t take your sweet words any longer. His hand envelops yours before you could turn away from him. The way you look back at Dan Heng makes his heart swell in ways he couldn’t comprehend.

He couldn’t get the words out.

His grip loosens and he lets you go, albeit with confusion on your face.

The door closes with a quiet goodbye, and Dan Heng throws his head back in frustration, staring at the decorated ceiling above him.

How can he go on like this...?

Topaz is not the kind of person to sit idly by waiting for something to happen. She knows what she wants, and what she wants takes the shape of you.

You’re just so adorable! Really, the way you act so clueless whenever you flirt with her is just so endearing! How could she not melt?

…Well, it used to be easy. Flirting, complimenting you, relishing in how you react; she even asked you out to dinner, and took you to the nicest place possible! …But you’re still so shocked every time. You still didn’t pick up on any of her advances.

For once, Topaz is at a complete loss. What is she to do? Grab you by the shoulders and shake you around telling you that she’s completely enamoured with everything about you, and though that includes your cluelessness, she can’t take much of it anymore?

She could nearly keel over. Complete overkill. She needs to be smart about this; clear, but also suave and mature. Yeah, she can do this!

That’s how you find Numby making their way up to you, and there they drop a card in front of your feet. They curiously look up at you as you read, although you could sense another pair of eyes watching you closely.

‘You’re cute! Go out with me! Love, Topaz!’

Topaz could nearly explode from joy watching your face heat up. Finally. Finally! You get it now, don’t you?!

Her heart steps as you throw the card away and lean down and pet Numby. “Oh, Numby. Someone must have put you up to this for a prank, huh? You should find your way back to Topaz!”

Said companion of the Warp Trotter has already fallen to her knees with her face in her hands. You’re more work than she bargained for… but she’ll be struck down by an Aeon before she gives up on you! Just watch her!

Argenti doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Truly, he’s making all the right moves. He’s following examples from stories and myths, step by step. It’s not his fault that they always end up going wrong somehow. Maybe it’s just harsh luck…

He’s on one knee, taking your hand in his own. Like you are royalty, he kisses the back of it, and looks up at you.

“Thank you for saving me!” You beam, and Argenti’s brain freezes.

That’s how it all goes wrong, every single time.

He’s hopeless, how the knight of beauty stands up, turns around, and immediately feels his knees buckle and he’s down on the ground again. Maybe he’ll stay like this for a few minutes when he finishes crying.

He feels you kneel at his side, and prod against his armour. “Argenti…?” your sweet, sweet voice calls out to him quietly.

“Worry not. I am simply fighting the dirt in your honour. Keeping the worms off of you.”

You pause. He wouldn’t dislike being buried here like this. Then he hears your confused laughter. “Alright then! Thank you very much, sir knight!”

You pet his hair and stand up again, making your way back to a safe zone.

Yes, Argenti thinks, I will stay here and fend off the insects for you, my dear. And that is the only reason why I can’t move…

He certainly refuses to believe it’s your patience and kindness. How silly would it be for a knight of beauty to become so immobilised by it! How silly indeed…

Seele encourages you to stand up again. A simple sparring doesn’t do too much harm every now and again. She isn’t Luka; she won’t beg you for a match, but practice is good, and practice is better if it’s with a friend.

Haha. Keep telling yourself that, Seele.

Is it obvious yet she really wants you to just defeat her already? She knows you have it in you. Yeah, you’re more on the air-headed side, but you’re a reliable teammate! Maybe it’s the fact you refuse to actually hurt her…

You apologise again when you’re back on your feet. She doesn’t want any apologies, dang you! Can’t you see she’s just desperate to get you to at least brush your knuckles against hers as her scythe comes in conflict with your blade?!

…So that does it. In her mental ramblings, you manage to get her on the ground beneath you. Your thighs cage her under you as you push her down. Aeons, your smile is so wide.

“I got you!” you exclaim.

Seele can’t help the small laugh that escapes her. She hopes that her face is only red to you because of your fighting. You’re so close to her face. You could just kiss her right now…

“Yep, you really did!” is what comes out, shakier than she would have liked. How did you get her so weak? You’re not even making a big deal over straddling her like this…

You shimmy off her eventually, offering your hand out. “Time for lunch?”

Seele doesn’t move for a few seconds, before letting you pick her up. If not a kiss, she can at least get some quality time. The way you smile at her is enough for her.

…How you pushed her down will definitely haunt her dreams for the next week or so, though.

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secretwritingspot · 5 months

Text

High Maintenance

Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader

COME GET Y'ALLS DINNER I'M BACKKK!!!

Rating/Content Warnings: like...pg-16ish? Idk there's nudity and a lot of suggestive shit and kinda a little bit of groping (consensual, obvs) heavy-petting I guess might be the right term? But there's no outright fucking so do with that what you will.

Summary: Okay but Sanji with a high-femme reader. Like...we know how much this man likes women so I feel like he'd be all over a super femme person. Basically he has a fascination with all their fancy bath products that borders on is pervy because what do all those even do??? Eventually reader just decides to let him watch and find out.

Disclaimer(s): Since it's directly related to the plot, reader is stated as a woman in this, so if that's uncomfy for you to read keep that in mind and keep yourself safe! This idea came to me because I just finished finals and got to properly do self care for the first time in ever and wash all the finals grime off lmfao. Also there's nothing REALLY sub!Sanji about this but also...there's vibes. Damn Taz Skylar for portraying a character so babygirl that even me, quite possibly the world's biggest sub, sees him and is like...yeah I could tell him what to do once or twice.

As much as he tried, Sanji just didn't understand.

Sure, he was far better then the others - leagues away from Luffy and Zoro in terms of hygiene - but he was still a man. And a pirate, at that.

His eyes bend to you when you walk into the galley to move through to the bathroom - towel, change of clothes, and multiple bottles in your arms.

It baffled him the sheer number of products you had- a brush, towel, some sort of sugar concoction, all for the same purpose. A more traditional shampoo, similar to the kind he used, for initially cleaning off all the (your words) "pirate grime". Another, "gentler" shampoo for your hair. Which only doubled his confusion, as he had been under the impression that all shampoo was for hair. 2 different razors, scented body wash, colorful soaps.

It isn't uncommon for you and Sanji to meet this way. He's nearly always in the kitchen, and the hall to the bathroom cuts through the galley. Still, his heart warms every time you stop and set down all the numerous - he'll never understand what all those different products could possibly do - things in your arms on your side of the counter and take a stool, smiling at him.

Without fail, you stop for a few moments every time on your way to the bath just to talk with him, and every time it makes his heart race and his breath catch happily.

"Hey, Sanji."

"Evening, love." He answers, voice deceptively easy. He hopes you'd never know just how much effort goes in to that 'easy' temperament he has around you, but sometimes he thinks it's obvious. "What brings you down here at...2:30 in the morning?"

You laugh softly when he mentions the late hour, ever the type to worry over you getting enough sleep, shrugging sheepishly.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Your (valid) argument seems to phase right through him and he ignores the question, simply raising a brow at you. You shake your head fondly, but answer anyway.

"I was on my way to take a bath. It's nicer at night, since there's less people up. More time, and quiet."

He hums in acknowledgment and keeps cooking, turning to you with a shy look on his face.

"Um...love?"

"Hm?"

You fold your arms in front of you on the counter and lean on your hands, looking at him curiously as you wait for him to continue.

He pauses, face red.

"Well...I was wondering if I...if I could ask you a question?"

You squint in amused confusion at his nervousness, eyes soft and fond as you nod. He thinks he might die.

"Yeah, shoot."

He clears his throat and looks at all the various bath products you brought with you before looking away, gesturing at the bottles.

"What do they...do?"

You snort when you realize that was really what he was so nervous over, shaking your head with a fond giggle.

"Wow, you are such a man sometimes."

Your eyes flit to the products before looking back up at him.

"Wanna be a little more specific?"

"Oh, right." He chuckles, looking embarrassed. "There's so...many?" He looks back at you, the confusion obvious on his face. "I mean...why do you need so many? Do they really all do different things? And-" He gestures to all the various products, brow raised. "Why so many different kinds of shampoo?"

Your giggles turn to full-blown laughter at his confusion, though it's not at his expense.

Okay, mostly not at his expense. Maybe a little bit.

"Oh, honey. You're cute sometimes, y'know that?"

You shake your head, rolling your eyes softly and looking at him. It's sweet, really, how embarrassed and curious he is. A very, very bad (very amusing) idea comes to your mind, and before you can think any better of it, you hear your own voice speaking.

"...want me to show you?"

He blinks almost sleepily, eyes wide.

"I- pardon?"

There's a thick silence as you watch the gears turn in his head, trying to work out if you really just said that and what the hell it means.

"What- what are you suggesting?"

You shrug, teasing smirk unfurling across your face as you sit up, cocking your head at him. It's not exactly like you can un-say what you just said, so you figure you might as well go for it. In for a penny, right?

"Exactly what I just said. You wanna know what they do, I'll show you."

You look down with coy, faux-innocence and sigh, giving him a chance to back out that you know he won't take.

"But, y'know...only if you want to."

The heavy-handed mock disappointment seems to jump start His mind again and his eyes flash with realization, a red flush starting up his neck.

"O- Oh....oh! Yeah, alright. I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah, that would be very- very, uh...helpful. Thanks."

He clears his throat, trying to sound less flustered.

It doesn't work.

You stifle a laugh at his reaction, shrugging and picking up your things. You start to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and for a few moments, he feels like he's frozen solid right where he is. You pause at the door, turning over your shoulder to look back at him teasingly.

"Well, c'mon then. Don't make me wait up."

He blinks and then he's moving towards you, feet carrying him forward before he even truly thinks about what he's doing. He follows you into the bathroom, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.

"Uh...okay, so, how do I- do I sit somewhere? Or...or watch? I- I don't know what's, uh..."

You shake your head with a fond giggle when he struggles to put a sentence together in his nervousness, but you decide to take pity and give him a bit more guidance.

"Alright, sit down."

You move him over to a bench and push him lightly down by the shoulder to sit back. He goes without resistance, letting you push him by two fingers and minimal pressure on his shoulder, closing the door and locking it behind you.

He sits down on the bench, blushing intensely. He doesn't know much about healthcare, but he thinks he might be having heart palpitations.

You hum to yourself quietly as you turn on the hot water, letting the bath fill while you busy yourself setting up the number of bottles and containers and miscellaneous items of yours on the edge of the tub. He shifts in his seat as you open one of the bottles and empty a bit into the bath, which immediately starts foaming as you turn to him with a teasing smile.

"I'm assuming you already know what bubble bath is?"

He nods, looking at the bath as it starts to foam, feeling like a teenager in a high school health class.

"Yeah, I know about that part." He nods slightly in relief- at least he knows something. "Just uh...never actually experienced it before."

"Never?"

Your brows furrow in surprise and confusion before you make a conscious effort to raise them, trying not to make your concern too obvious as something softens in your eyes for a moment. Sympathy, maybe.

"...well, we'll just have to do this for you sometime, then. Once you know what all of it is."

Your voice is gentler then, soft. You don't linger on the moment, looking away to stop the water once the bath is full and holding up a spherical object for him to see.

"This is a bath bomb. It's got stuff in it that makes the water turn pretty colors and smell nice and helps with your skin."

He nods, shifting again in his seat as you place the sphere into the bath. Though he's nervous, his eyes drag to every little detail, desperate to take it all in.

"Right." He mumbles, watching you throw the bath bomb into the water before his curiosity gets the better of him.

"Do you always make it this nice? With all the different...products and stuff?"

You shrug and clip your hair up messily, and he tries not to get distracted by how domestic this whole thing feels.

"When I have the time, yeah. It's...nice. A good way to relax."

You find the zipper of the dress you'd been wearing, a simple sun dress to keep you from melting in the sun or freezing from the sea breeze, fingers halting at the top as you look back at him.

"Last chance to back out, Sanji."

He swallows, eyes trailing down your body as you give him one last out. If he were more in his right mind, he'd think you were sweet for continually checking up on him.

Right now, he just thinks it's tedious.

"No, uh...no, I'm good. I am very much interested in this lesson." He clears his throat. "I would appreciate the, uh...the help."

You huff a fond laugh at his enthusiasm as his blushing gaze meets yours, shaking your head at him softly.

"Alright then."

You reach for the pull of the zipper again and slowly drag it down, slipping the dress off the taper of your shoulders, your waist, your hips. Your panties follow quickly after and your clothes all pool at your feet. You step out of them gingerly before stepping into the bath with a satisfied sigh, sinking slowly into the water with a satisfied hiss.

His eyes follow you the entire time, his heart beating at a rapid clip in his chest. He's seen other people nude before, he's had sex, but watching someone in the bath seems so...it's just...jesus. He's never done something this intimate. And yet, his eyes are glued to you.

He swallows nervously, hands starting to tremble a little bit.

For a moment he gets to see you completely bare, then the cloudy, colored water and the bubbles slowly cover you inch by inch. He can still see from your shoulders up where the water doesn't cover you. Your eyes flick back to him with a knowing smirk.

"You're staring."

It's a simple observation, though there's an undeniably teasing tone to your voice when you point it out. It isn't cold, though, or unwelcoming- the exact opposite, in fact. It's an amused little poke at his more perverted tendencies, but one that makes no judgement on him for it.

It sounds suspiciously like approval.

His mouth is almost agape, mind replaying the scene of every inch of you disappearing behind the clouds of bubbles and soap over and over again. It's like a scene from a romance novel.

(Despite the others' teasing, he's never actually read a romance novel. He assumes this is what they're like.)

He flushes and his eyes flick away from you, resolutely staring at the wall to your right.

"I- I didn't mean to, uh...I- I'm-"

"It's alright."

You quiet his stammering immediately, sending him a quick wink. Again, your tone sounds suspiciously of approval.

"I don't mind."

You sigh in contentedness at the warmth of the bath, taking a moment to just relax into the warmth before grabbing a cloth.

"So, you still want that lesson?"

He looks back at you, his blush red and steadily getting darker He nods slowly, blinking dizzily at the sight of you.

"Yes please."

He whispers, voice hoarse and cracking with equal parts nervousness and excitement. "Please and thank you." He adds softly, biting his lips and nodding again, eyes wide.

You giggle at his obvious excitement, leaning over the edge of the tub to grab a cloth and looking at him coyly with the knowledge that it would give him a teasing glimpse of your chest.

"Right, well- this is an exfoliating towel."

You lift it up to show him on the word "this" as if to emphasize your words before dunking the rough cloth gently underwater to wet it, attempting to explain in terms he can understand- his cooking utensils.

"It's like...polishing a knife. You start with a rougher grit and work your way down."

His eyes widen at the teasing glimpse of your chest as you dunk the towel in. He's embarrassed to find himself a bit breathless, his mind definitely not in the proper place right now.

"Ah..." He nods in understanding, trying to calm his flustered nerves and look away from your body. "So, you'd use this...after you were in the bubble bath, I guess?"

"During."

You correct lightly, beginning to scrub your skin with the wet cloth. To Sanji, it's nothing but a massive tease- first scrubbing each of your arms, then across your shoulders, neck, collar-bones. Each second seems to stretch into hours and he seriously starts to doubt his sanity.

To his disappointment, you scrub down your chest, stomach, hips below the water where he can't see much other than the occasional flash of color from the hot pink cloth.

"It makes your skin smooth, makes it easier to shave, clears off gunk and dead skin. Keeps me..."

But then, you lift your leg out of the water and point it. His mind short-circuits completely as you give him far too good of a view, meticulously scrubbing down one leg before putting it back underwater and repeating the process with the other. Legs, legs - he's heard he has nice ones before and he's never quite understood it but this, you, now - he thinks he could die happy between yours.

You notice, of course, the way his eyes magnetize to your skin. Once finished, you continue the words you'd trailed off on, voice soft and teasing as you wink at him.

"...y'know, soft to the touch."

His eyes follow you, watching you scrub and reveal each body part with a slight flutter in his chest. He swallows, unable to move, his eyes glued to you. Said eyes go wide when you reveal your legs, your bare thighs something he never thought he'd get to see. He swallows, trying not to make it obvious he's staring.

"Yes, I, uh...I believe I understand. It helps make things...soft." He chuckles nervously, trying to play down how obviously flustered he is.

You put down the cloth once you're finished scrubbing down your whole body, thoroughly entertained by his nervousness. You pick up a small jar next, holding it up briefly to show it to him before opening it and gently scooping out a bit of thick paste and rubbing it onto your legs, again giving him a downright sinful view.

"Y'know how I mentioned working your way down to a lower grit? Well, this is that. It's a sugar scrub, pretty much the same purpose. Moisturizes and exfoliates to keep my skin soft."

He watches each moment of you scrubbing, and each bit you reveal of your body. He's got no clue where to look, if he's allowed to look. Even seeing your legs...oh god.

He must be allowed to look, right? Surely he must.

He bites his lip and nods, fingers nervously tapping on his knee as he tries to focus back on anything else, looking away in an attempt to look more respectful than he's feeling at the moment.

"That's, uh...that's a lot of work to put into your skin just for softness."

"Well, you should see how soft it is."

You shoot back with a wink, using another dollop of the paste to exfoliate your upper chest and shoulders.

He notices that you use it on fewer, more specific areas- which he supposes makes sense, since it's a much more finite resource than the cloth. The observation seems much more meaningful to a mind trying to focus on anything other than your body.

Not that it's easy.

Nothing about this is easy.

"Do you just...do this a lot? With your skin, I mean." He asks nervously, eyes wide in wonder that someone would put this much effort into something so baseline...or that someone like you would feel the need to do anything to your angelic appearance.

He clears his throat.

"Y'know...not that you should have to. You look beautiful either way."

"Not always. Or- not fully to this extent."

You smile softly with a shrug, steam swirling in the air around you. All of it seems so effortless. He can't seem to catch his breath. After scrubbing the mixture into your skin for a few moments, you rinse it off with the bath water, expression zen and almost bored like you haven't completely altered the rest of his natural life.

"This is usually what I do when I want to feel...extra nice. When I've got a date, or something else I want to look nice for."

You explain, rinsing yourself off thoroughly before picking up your razor, starting to shave your legs while you talk to him, teasing lightly-

"I take it I don't have to explain shaving to you?"

He blushes a little harder, his eyes going to your legs as you shave them. Oh god, this is making him so nervous. His body is buzzing with anticipation and nerves and...other things.

"Uh...well, no, I uh...I know how to shave. But I guess I'm- I've never been this close to a woman while she shaves, I suppose." He gulps, his words getting softer the further he talks, like he might run out of air. He bites his lip. "But I think I get the idea."

You hum in equal parts acknowledgment and amusement, finishing up shaving in comfortable silence- arms, under arms, legs. The process goes relatively quickly before you set the razor back down, picking up another bottle and a plush looking ball of tight-nit net fabric.

"This is a lufa. And the bottle is body wash."

You keep your explanations simple so as not to confuse him too much. You know he'll be having a tough time focusing on your words as is, especially considering that he has precisely 0 experience with this sort of thing, and you don't want to overwhelm the poor thing.

You hold up the ball for him to see for a moment before uncapping the bottle, pouring a bit of the soapy liquid onto the fabric and rubbing it across your skin. You trace along your neck, chest, shoulders, the sponge-like ball of fabric leaving trails of fluffy bubbles in its path. The sight only makes it harder for him to cope, the bubbles not leaving much of anything to the imagination.

Still, it only adds to the romance-novel story-book scene in his mind, leaving his thoughts alarmingly warm and fuzzy.

He blushes and sighs, eyes glued the entire time. His body is humming with anticipation, his mind is getting hazy. He doesn't know how to handle this, how to handle you- the way you look right now, the way you talk, the person you are. His chest is fluttering, and he's blushing up a storm. Oh god, you look so nice.

"What's that do?"

His voice is hoarse and breathless, the words barely escaping his lips.

"It's a bit like soap, but more...I don't know, luxurious feeling."

You close your eyes in contentedness and move the lufa across your body, much more thorough with this than anything else. As far as he can see, there's not a single spot you don't reach, leaving fluffy trails of bubbles that slowly dissolve when they sink back underwater.

"The lufa is also kinda an exfoliant, but a much more gentle one."

He watches every moment of it with complete fascination, not sure where to look with the lufa in front of you. It's basically impossible not to look at your curves and your body at this point. You're stunningly beautiful in this moment, and he's so close to you he can see her every little detail. His eyes can't move away, and he swallows, nodding.

"I...oh. It looks like it feels nice." He chuckles in his nervousness. "And, uh...it probably smells nice too, I'm guessing..?"

"It certainly does both of those things."

You confirm with a soft, gentle laugh, amused and teasing yes, but more fond and...almost intimate than before.

"I mean, there's not much point taking a bath if you don't come out smelling like a cupcake."

You joke lightly, holding the lufa underwater to let the bubbles fizzle out and then wringing it out and setting it aside to let it dry.

His eyes follow the motions of you wringing out the lufa and he watches your body intently. He's staring at you a little too much, he knows. He can almost see...everything. His breath is coming a little heavy, and he finds his mind is getting more and more hazy as you go.

"A cupcake...?" He swallows, his voice almost cracking. "That's an oddly specific smell. Like... like, vanilla?"

"It's just a figure of speech. Smelling like anything sweet, really. Vanilla, chocolate, fruit, flowers."

You wave a dismissive hand with a giggle, talking to him absentmindedly as you let your hair down from where you had it clipped up and out of the way, shaking it out once you let it down. Slowly, you slide down in the bath until your hair is wet, wiping the wet strands from your face.

"This one is vanilla, though."

You tease with a wink, holding up a bottle of shampoo before opening the lid and pouring a bit into your hand. It only takes you a moment of lathering it before it suds and you can start working the bubbles into your hair.

Sanji, meanwhile, is having a bit of a crisis.

He swallows, feeling his body go a little limp at the sight of you in the bathtub, wet strands of hair hanging over your face. His eyes are glued to you again, and he's getting...so distracted.

He manages to speak, though his words are slow and not quite as coherent as before.

"I- you look...so pretty. Your hair looks great like that." He mumbles quietly, voice hoarse and breathy.

You huff a soft laugh at his mumbled praise, shaking your head fondly. He's always been sweet, but there's something particularly cute about him when he's flustered like this.

"It's a cleansing shampoo. Probably close to the kind you and the boys use."

You explain in a soft hum, leaning your head back again to rinse your hair off gently, running your fingers through it. And trying to shake the thoughts of the boys' 5-in-1 shampoo from your head.

You look like an angel, or a mermaid. He can't decide which.

"That just means it's harsher. Better for getting everything off, since being a pirate isn't exactly the cleanest job. It isn't great for your hair, though."

He smiles, his eyes glancing over your body every once in a while, though mostly he finds himself focused on your face and your hair in particular. Your expression is so...so...ugh. You look like a goddess, hair dripping with water and skin wet from the bath.

"So, you...you want your hair to look nice then. Not just clean."

You nod your head and hum in confirmation, uncapping a different bottle with a smile and pouring some of the liquid inside into your hand.

"That's what this shampoo is for. Still cleans, but it's not as harsh or stripping as the other one."

You lather the new liquid in your hair, massaging it into your scalp with a soft, contented sigh at the relaxing feeling as it quickly turns to white suds.

"So it's not as good as getting all of the pirate grime out of your hair, but it keeps your hair soft, shiny, healthy. All that good stuff."

He swallows, his eyes locked onto you and your hair, watching it shimmer and gleam with the water and product soaking through it. God, you're so...your hair shines like glass, and he can't stop staring at it.

"Uh, do you...d'you want help with that?" He asks quickly, his breath catching in his throat. "I mean-" He mumbles, cutting himself off sheepishly. "Do you need any help?"

Your eyes widen slightly at his enthusiasm, an amused smile quickly growing on your face. You look off to the middle distance for a moment with a dramatic sigh in mock consideration before looking back at him, quirking a finger forward in permission.

"Well, go on then."

His lungs stop working.

Really, his breath just hitches in his throat again, only a second as he blinks once. But he's convinced his body is giving out. Oh god, you want him to touch you. Oh, god, you're letting him touch you.

He swallows and then nods eagerly, leaning forward slowly. He leans close, his cheeks blushing a little bit as the scent of your hair tickles his nose. He reaches out gingerly, like he's not sure if he's allowed, before rubbing the shampoo into your hair.

"Just..." He trails off quietly, his voice breaking a little breathily as he tilts your head back softly to give himself better access.

You practically purr at the touch when he massages the shampoo into your scalp, your neck, your hair, leaning into his touch as your eyes flutter shut with a sigh.

"You're good with your hands, aren't you?"

You observe softly, letting him continue to wash and rinse your hair. His passion for the task is palpable, though you could've guessed as much with the fixation he always had on your bath products, equal parts curious and perverted.

His blush deepens quickly, and his hands shake as his fingers brushing against you carefully.

"Uhm..." He chokes slightly, clearing his throat. "I- I guess I am. I like doing things with my hands." He swallows, words coming out a little hoarse. His fingers move back to your hair.

"I can tell."

You remark teasingly, voice soft as you shoot him a wink before closing your eyes again. Once the shampoo is all rinsed from your hair, you direct him softly, voice quiet in clear relaxation-

"Conditioner. Purple bottle by your hand."

He scrambles to uncap the bottle as soon as you speak, eager to have been given permission to continue, pouring a small amount into his hands before brushing his fingers through your hair.

"'s for making your hair smoother. Keeps it from breaking if you comb it too much."

You explain absentmindedly. This one is new- it doesn't fizz up in his hands or create bubbling foam in your hair, just absorbs into the strands, smooth and slick and shiny.

He rubs his hands together, spreading out the conditioner throughout your hair, working it to its core. His breathing is a little shaky as his fingers glide through your hair, but he does his best not to show it. His eyes are still focused on you, and his heart is beating too fast.

He swallows, the scent of your conditioner filling his nose and his mind.

"How do you...find the time for all this? That's a lot of bottles, and a lot of work to just...make your hair nice."

"It's worth it. It's...relaxing. Like meditation. Or cooking something familiar."

You add on second thought, relating back to him to help him understand. When the conditioner is worked into your hair, you toss him a towel to dry his hands on once he's rinsed them off.

"Now go sit back down. Lesson's almost over."

You instruct softly, voice gentle and fond. He doesn't think before moving back to the bench and sitting back down, though his brows furrow endearingly in confusion. You just laugh lightly.

"Not every bath product is something you use in the actual bath."

He nods, expression confused, but he doesn't ask for elaboration. His eyes are still glued to your body, the sight of you in the bath still stunning. It's almost hypnotic to just sit back and watch. He clears his throat, looking around the bath curiously with a hint of confusion on his face.

"So...what's left?"

"...you'll see."

Is the eventual, cryptic answer he gets after a pause, you still smirking slightly. Then you- oh. Oh. You stand up, pulling the plug in the bath and letting the water drain as you step out to stand on the bath mat, completely bare and wet and dripping and oh, god- you grab a medium sized towel and lightly dry your hair until it's no longer dripping, still damp but not actively in your way, clipping it up again as you pat the rest of your body dry softly, humming to yourself as you work.

"Wait, are you...are you not going to wear anything else? I mean...I'm not complaining, I like looking at you, but...aren't you cold?" He asks, still staring at you excitedly. Your hair is up again, and every inch of your body is on display. He's practically drooling.

Oh, god, this is a blessing.

You scoff lightly at the question, shaking your head in fond amusement without looking up, still focused on drying yourself off.

'I'm gonna put on clothes eventually, Sanji. Like I told you, I'm not done yet."

Once you deem your level of dryness acceptable enough, you pick up another jar and open the lid, scooping out a bit of a much thicker cream.

"Moisturizer."

You answer before he even has the will to ask, eyes meeting his for a moment with a fond smirk as you rub the cream onto your body.

"Smells nice, and keeps your skin soft."

He stares at you as you rub the moisturizer on your body, his eyes going everywhere as you move. Every inch of your body is incredible, and he keeps finding new places to look.

He swallows, his expression a mix of admiration, shock, and excitement.

"Do... do you want any help with that?" He asks nervously.

It would be a lie to say he's asking for innocent reasons. Seeing your hands - small, soft, yours - massage the moisturizer into every inch of your body, your legs, thighs, hips, arms, stomach, neck- Jesus, your tits- his mind is on fire.

"Aww, are you offering? Sure, Sanji. You can help."

You answer, voice teasing like you know exactly what he's thinking, and- wait. That's- he actually- you gave him permission? You actually said yes? It takes him a moment to process the words, mind tripping over itself in surprise and oh fuck yes, Jesus Christ.

That's exactly what he's offering, and he doesn't have the mind to hide it. He nods eagerly, his expression telling you everything you need to know.

He scoots over closer, his hand reaching for the moisturizer and his eyes glued on your breasts now. They look so good. He applies the cream directly there, the touch of his hands on your soft skin causing him a burst of electricity as he touches you gently. Oh god, you're letting him... he's touching you! It's like his mind is exploding, and he's doing his best to contain himself.

You almost laugh when he immediately decides to start at your breasts, rolling your eyes fondly at the predictable move.

You aren't really surprised but then again, you still let him.

He's definitely not going to let you do this alone, anyway. It's too much of a blessing, and his hands are trembling, even as he works them into your skin. He's trying to focus on keeping himself from getting too excited, but seeing you like this is too much to handle. He licks his lips nervously as his hands flit all over your body. His mind screams at him to do something, do more, but the years of chivalry drilled into him stay his hands.

Soon enough the moisturizer has sunken into your skin and you press him back lightly by the chest, using those same fingers to tilt his chin up softly. You angle his head up at you, voice soft with a gentle smirk on your face.

"Thanks for the help, Sanji."

He swallows, looking up at you. His lips are parted and his breath is heavy. He blinks slowly. He's...he can't believe just how lucky he is.

"Of-of course. It was nice to...it was nice to help someone...someone so beautiful." He says, his voice breathless and his cheeks flushed a bright, bright red.

You huff a fond little laugh, mussing up his hair with your hand.

You're gone in a flurry as quickly as you came, a sleep shirt and a pair of panties thrown on before he can even process that you're moving, a teasing pat on the cheek and a repetition of "well, thanks anyway!" And then...you're gone.

Like a mirage or a daydream, the kind he never lets himself have in public (not that any of his effort has stopped him, really).

It takes a moment for him to grow aware of his surroundings again. Aware of anything. The tile is cool beneath his knees and - when did he get there? - the air is thick with steam but slowly thinning. The scent of you still lingers, or the scent of your myriad of products, he's not sure. And...those.

That's an entirely separate problem for him to tackle. He groans.

His budget can't handle frivolous expenses, but now he can't get the thought out of his head of wrapping his fist around himself with some of that fancy moisturizer that smells like you as lube and...shit, he's gonna have to buy a bottle, before he goes insane.

Ah, fuck, who is he kidding? He's never going to be able to do so much as take a bath without jerking off again.

#vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #opla sanji #opla sanji x reader #opla #opla x reader #sanji x you #opla Sanji x you #opla x you #one piece #one piece live action #one piece x reader #one piece x you #opla x y/n #opla sanji x y/n #sanji x y/n #opla sanji x you

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enhagvrl · 19 days

Text

en- when their words upset you

a/n: I'm backkkkk!!!! keep your eyes upon cause im currently working on a long sh fic and a series for niki. thank you to everyone for being patient with me and don't hesitate to send in your requests!!<33

rest : fifaz pocketz 02z

heeseung

“ Well I’d be damned if my girlfriend was actually as crazy as people call her to be.”

You have always been a quiet kid, keeping to yourself most of the time. But someone managed to watch you get into a fight with a stranger on the street. You were simply trying to defend yourself from being harassed by some perverted stranger when you kicked them too hard in the side of their stomach and broke one or two ribs.

Since then rumours had been going around the campus that you were a brutal little shit who had gotten into a lot of fights which made you the target of other people’s gossip and just messed up your whole school life.

But at that time, heeseung was the one who really did not give in to those rumours - he hung out with you and made you feel all sorts of giddy feelings you have never experienced with anyone else before.

But right now was not the case, as you were left alone in your thoughts about heeseung maybe believing all those rumours about you too.

“ Baby, you okay?” heeseung asked, voice laced with concern over the sudden quiet atmosphere which took over the room within 5 seconds

“ huh? Yes? Yeah. I’m okay. Sorry, what were you saying?” you asked, your voice devoid of any sort of emotion which made heeseung wonder if he said something wrong.

“No you went silent all of a sudden so just got worried. What’s on your mind? Tell me.” hee said, turning his whole body towards you to make it known that you have his entire attention now.

Not being able to take in the sudden change in the atmosphere, and the obliviousness of heeseung to the effect his words had on you, you muttered a quick “ sorry. I’ll be back.” and rushed out of the house leaving behind a confused heeseung who had not got a moment to register your apology properly before you already disappeared from his sight.

niki

“ Of course you wouldn’t be able to get in with that body of yours”

You had been trying real hard auditioning to get into this big dance team in your city which will be performing in SDC, one of the biggest dance competitions out there. But no matter how many routines you showed them, they still did not approve of you joining the team and told you to stay back in the studio. You were clearly aware that the reason they were not taking you in despite your excellent dancing skills was because of your body. You did not have a slim dancer body as other dancers have and SDC heavily depended on judging the figures of the dancers participating. But in hopes of changing that, you were constantly trying.

“Bae, you good?” you snapped out of your trance, hearing your name being called. There stood Niki, breathing heavily and the track humble by kendrick lamar now softly playing in the background.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked a second time, noticing your eyes were distant and how you stopped rambling about how unfair the world is to people like you.

“....yeah…yeah yeah I’m fine…nothing…just kind of zoned out.”

“ oi, don’t think too much about it. You couldn’t get in, you could not. That’s fine. You just have to work on your body more. You know competitions these days heavily depend on how well it looks executed and for that you are required to have a perfect body, as they call it.” he says, turning up the volume again and getting back to practise for his artist of the month performance. “Don’t ponder about it too much, and just get to work with your body if you want to get into those big contests.”

Instead of taking his constructive criticism as motivation like you always do, you felt tears welling up and ran out of the practice room. The music had stopped and quick footsteps could be heard behind you, but you ran without looking back.

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen fics #enhypen drabbles #enhypen imagines #enhypen niki #enhypen heeseung #enhypen angst #kpop fics #kpop angst #angst #lee heeseung #nishimura riki

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ruewrote · 6 months

Text

𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑛𝑑.

PAIRING: carl gallagher x gn!reader WARNINGS: none GENRE: fluff SONG INSPIRATION: lull by vraell [guitar version] WORD COUNT: 538 REQUESTED: yes

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leaning back in your chair, rubbing your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon you sat in front of your computer screen staring at the unfinished work.

a tired sigh leaving your lips as you swiped the piece of hair that didn't quite make it into the rushed ponytail that you created earlier.

starting to bite the skin around your nails as you watched the cursor blink, almost mimicking you. writing for hours hadn't gotten you anywhere, still having to do two other assignments too, fear started creeping up on you.

it had been the same fear that you had felt countless times before, the fear of failure. despite all of your hard work and preparation, you just couldn't escape the nagging feeling that you'd not be good enough.

maybe it’s because you're afraid of what your parents will think of you or maybe it’s simply because you are terrified of not living up to your own expectations. whatever the reason was, the fear was very real.

tears welled up in your eyes as the panic set in, well that was all until a knock was heard from your bedroom window. looking over confused made eye contact with a very excited carl holding up a bag of what looked like groceries?

letting out a faint chuckle as you stood up from your bed, opening the window and actually being face to face with him felt like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

"let me in i got the good shit," he grinned at you as he shook the plastic bag.

squeezing your eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the tears from flowing overwhelmed by the kind gesture. shoulders shaking as you slumped in on yourself.

carls smile dropped, throwing the bag on your bed behind you before jumping over your window. carefully pulling you into his arms as you cried into his shoulder. your tears wetting the material but he couldn't careless and neither could you.

"it's okay, im here. you're alright," one of his hands tangled in your hair and one on your lower back, tugging you closer to him.

that's how you stood for a good five minutes, carl giving you time and comfort. this was all that you needed over these past two weeks instead of stressing yourself out over pointless things.

the two of you now moved over to your bed binging on the sweet treats that he'd brought over, some christmas movie that you'd both seen a million times together playing in the background as you joked with each other.

explaining to him how everything just got to be too much.

"i mean i can't say too much since i've not got the best track record of doing my own school work nevermind worrying about it," that made you laugh, looking down and picking at the fuzzy material of your socks.

"but you've got a good head on your shoulders, almost perfect grades and you still make time for the people 'round you? dude i'd say you're living the life right now. a bit of a boring life but ya know!"

narrowing your eyes at him, playfully pinching his side making him yelp and jump away from you pouting.

"rude."

#carl gallagher #carl gallagher x reader #carl gallagher oneshots #carl gallagher imagines #carl gallagher fanfics #shameless #shameless x reader #shameless oneshots #shameless imagines #shameless fanfics #x reader #oneshots #imagines #fanfics #ruewrote

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rindousbbg · 21 days

Text

Summery: You guys broke up due to a stupid reason and he's getting you back no matter what.

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Requested: No

A/n: took so long, finished it long time ago but forgot to post 😭. Reblogs are appreciated.

Mikey wasn't certainly good at most of the things but love. He never understood the concept of the word called love. Surely he never dated, he was too occupied with gang shit that he never really thought of love and to give any attention towards it.

Until you came and swept him off his feet. You weren't more special than any girl, you were simple and kind like the rest of them. But what made his heart flutter when you respected his passion for his gang? Brought him his favourite snack-dorayaki. When you comfort him all the time whenever he gets upset because of his dead brother. You never left him or made him feel small.

He was very glad because of that but yet after getting into a relationship you both shortly broke up after 1 year. Why? You still questioned yourself.

Was it because you have gotten chubbier? Or was it because you have gotten skinnier and it made you look like a skeleton? Or was it because he was ashamed to call you his girlfriend in front of everyone or was it because he was simply tired of you, your nagging and the simple gesture of being worried for him? You still wonder about that.

But why does it hurt Manjiro so much to look at you with another boy instead of him?? Something isn't right when you are with someone else, you should be with him. He was shameless after practically breaking up with you for no reason and a proper explanation he still wanted you to look after him and only him. Call him possesive but isn't what he is?

"Are you dating him?"

A cold voice spoke out behind you making you immediately turn.

"What are you...doing here?"

You spoke slowly, too shocked to say anything. He was the least expected person to be here.

You were waiting for your name co-worker to come back from the store since you needed some food supplies.

"You didn't answer my question"

"You didn't either"

He blankly stared at you.

"You have bad taste"

"Huh"

You questioned him.

"What do you mean?"

"Your taste has gotten worse"

You widen your eyes at his statement, what does he mean by that? Was he thinking you and your co-worker are dating and that's why he is saying? Or something else.

Questions after questions keep flooding inside your head making your head spin.

"We aren't..dating"

"Really?"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his statement.

"What you are doing here anyway?"

"To buy dorayaki what else...don't think I'm stalking you or something"

His tone changed after your last statement, which makes you wonder if was it really because he was relived you weren't dating your co-worker or if was it because he has bipolar disorder.

"Okay, I guess"

You decided to walk away from him. But he keeps catching up with his bike. You stopped in your tracks.

"What do you want?"

"Aight, let's get back together"

You stared at him as if he was talking gibberish.

"Are you for real?"

"For real"

he smiled confidently.

"No, we broke up already"

"Well we did but it was your fault anyway"

He gasped dramatically and shook his head at you imitating a hurt expression.

"You ate my dorayaki".

He exclaimed once again.

"Geez Mikey it was just a dorayaki"

You rolled your eyes.

"See, that's a valid reason"

you stared at him for some seconds and started to walk away as fast as you could.

"Wait!"

"What now?"

He took a deep breath.

"Sorry."

"for?"

"I took this matter too far"

"You did"

He wondered everywhere except you, he was trying to find words to tell you but looks like he could not find any.

"Ken-chin told me that it was too childish and I was immature acting like a kid"

"He is right and you are a kid though"

His eyes darkened.

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I couldn't fall asleep nor eat peacefully"

"So you are bringing me back just for your own benifit?"

He shakes his head.

"No. You are kind of my habit. Just like people can't spend a day without blinking their eyes I can't spend my day without you, I need you. Please forgive me and let's get back together"

"That was... lowkey cringe"

You murmured to yourself.

"I heard that"

"I missed you"

He smiled.

"Hop on my bike already"

You did as he said and drove off somewhere. It was already evening. He stopped, parking the bike somewhere.

"Mikey?"

He hummed.

"Will you leave me ever again? For somebody else?"

You asked him.

"Never."

"How can I believe you? You broke up with me because of a dorayaki."

He realized how big of a matter it was to you. He felt bad for making you feel this way.

"Come here!"

You did and closed the distance between you and him.

"Would you mind?"

He pointed at your lips. You understood what he meant and slowly nodded.

Soon he brought his lips closer to yours and placed his lips onto yours, it was a soft and gentle kiss. Mikey didn't have to say anything after it. The kiss said enough about how he misses you. The slight desperation was visible that he had missed you.

Shortly after, he pulled away.

"I don't know about promises or keeping them but I promise that I won't do that again"

You both stared into each other's eyes once again.

"You sure?"

He gave you a small smile and leaned once again to let his lips collide with yours to tell you the answer.

#tr x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #mikey x reader #mikey x you #tokyo revengers x you #mikey sano x reader #manjiro sano x reader #bonten x reader #bonten x you #bonten x y/n #toman x reader

238 notes · View notes

thefallennightmare · 4 months

Text

Just Pretend-Twenty Two

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PHASE II comes to an end! Strap in everyone, PHASE III is going to be a smutty ride.

FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.

We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.

🪽🔮

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic @collapsedglasshouses

NOAH

I let out a long sigh as I ran my hands over my thighs, the green couch becoming a familiar place for me. Even the dying plants on the shelf behind Dr. Poulos brought a sense of comfort. She had her book open on her lap, tapping her pen against it.

Three times.

She always tapped it three times.

“You seem happier today Noah,” Dr. Poulos noted.

I nodded. “I am. For the first time in a long time.”

“That’s great,” she smiled warmly before she used her pen to point to her hair. “New look?”

“Uh, it kind of happened. I didn’t expect to cut my hair, it’s been long for so many years now, but I felt with what happened I could use a change. But it still might be too long for my liking. I might cut it some more,” I said.

“Hm, typically that’s a sign of some growth. What happened?”

For the next few minutes, I filled her in on almost everything that happened at Chase’s birthday party, leaving out the intimate details between Y/N and I. Although, with the way my cheeks burned red, I had a feeling Dr. Poulos already knew.

I explained from top to bottom everything from the last time Y/N and I spoke to the night she told me she loved me back. Even saying the term ‘I love you’ was a huge step on the mountain for me. But to have her say it back? I’m finally catching up on years of sleep. Y/N loves me. She fucking loves me back.

“Do you believe her?” Dr. Poulos questioned.

“I do! I do, I love her with all of me,” I answered with a stern nod. “I just don’t know how to stop worrying about Y/N leaving if shit gets messy or if I don’t live up to her expectations. There’s this perception of me out there and even so, I don’t want it to taint her or us.”

She sat straighter in her chair. “Noah, you’re putting too much work on yourself. You really are. You’re both heavily aware of who you are as people. You’re human beings.”

Dr. Poulos adjusted her glasses and took some notes before speaking again when I remained silent.

“From everything you’ve explained; you both seem to be willing to start over. Start with a new slate, the situation at the party seemed to have changed the situation from both of your points of view. I have homework for you.”

I playfully rolled my eyes. “Oh, but you know I’m busy, I don’t have time to do homework. I haven’t done homework since I was 15.”

“Not that type of homework,” she chuckled. “What I’m saying is now that we’ve set the foundation regarding perspective, energy, and intention, we can move on to what to actually say to Y/N about your unmet needs and your fears of emotional and maybe physical abandonment.”

She went into each definition thoroughly as I sat with my hands resting on my knee, listening intently.

“I wouldn’t go that far. Abandonment? That sounds silly and almost too serious. I don’t know about that,” I said once she finished.

With a sigh, Dr. Poulos shut her book and set it on the table between us. “Noah, we’ve been seeing each other a while now. It’s my personal observation you indeed have conditions hindering you from this. It’s why you’re having a difficult time communicating and allowing this new slate to happen without fear.”

To be frank, I didn’t want to hear the entire gist. All it did was give me flashbacks of things I wasn’t comfortable dealing with. At least I thought I wasn’t prepared to handle it, I suppose I was now. I knew I needed to have a prosperous and healthy life, as well as one with Y/N.

“Noah? Noah, are you listening?”

I blinked a few times. “No, I’m sorry, can you repeat what you said?”

“Every satisfied emotional need breeds connection and deepens your bond. Therefore, every unmet need has the opposite effect. It breeds disconnection. This happens because when your needs aren’t consistently met, it produces anxiety in you, which leads to conflict, which, if not handled skillfully, breeds further disconnection, and on and on. The cycle is never-ending.”

She spoke so softly, so calmly while I sat there with my hands in my lap so desperately trying to get into what she was saying to me.

To be blunt? This was a-fucking-lot.

Dr. Poulos tucked a strand of hair that fell loose from her bun to behind her ear. “Noah, you and Y/N must erase any confusion or doubt surrounding your needs. Learn to powerfully communicate your needs using a simple yet powerful template, and overcome the two most common barriers to having your needs consistently met.”

She handed me a piece of paper to which I took it from her hands and began to skim over it while she kept talking.

“I offer suggestions for what to say, but they are merely suggestions. The goal is that you speak from your heart and express your truth with love and gentleness. I have a worksheet for you, review it. Think about it, and see what you can come up with. Practice in the mirror.”

On the drive leaving therapy, I thought back to my entire session with Dr. Poulos. It all seemed so silly, so corny. It did. However, I had to put my ego aside to let myself take in the seriousness of what was in front of me. I didn’t want anything to destroy my future with Y/N, hell even me just as a man. I had to do this.

To realize I’m not powerless and finally take charge of creating the loving dynamic that I for so long struggled to have and keep.

Maybe this week away in the house Bad Omens rented would help clear my mind and I could practice this worksheet she gave me; when I wasn’t busy recording the new record.

Instead of going straight home, I had to make a quick stop at Y/N’s place. As I knocked on their apartment door, I waited not so patiently with excitement in my veins. Malcolm opened the door with Salem in his arms.

I clapped my hands while stepping inside. “There he is!”

Chase snorted from the living room as I took Salem from Malcolm. “Clearly, Salem will be fine while we’re gone.”

“Y/N isn’t getting him back so easy, I hope she knows that,” I scratched Salem between his eyes; his favorite spot.

“Oh, by the way,” Malcolm started while handing me the bag of Salem’s things. “I know you guys have a couple hour drive to your rental house but Salem hates the carrier. He’ll most likely move around the car before settling into someone’s lap.”

“Have you guys thought about buying him a harness and leash?” I suggested.

Chase sucked in a breath. “Do not tell Y/N that. She won’t even let Salem sit in front of an open window because she’s afraid he’ll jump out and run away.”

“Speaking of Y/N,” I adjusted Salem in my arms. “Is she home?”

“No, not yet. Do you want to stay and wait? See her before we leave?” Malcolm offered with a smile.

I looked at my watch and internally cringed. The guys were waiting for me to get back from therapy before heading out towards our rental house a few hours away.

“Shit, I would but I have to get back home. Plus, I don’t want to push her. I want this to happen naturally,” I said.

Chase snorted, now standing next to Malcolm. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious,” I chuckled.

“We know, dude. But, you could always-.”

“I have to get back home,” I said, interrupting Malcolm. “But I’ll text Y/N later.”

“Okay,” Chase says in a sing-song voice, belting out the last few words. “Whatever you say.”

I cringed, covering Salem’s ears. “Wow, almost as good as me. Except, my ear drums are probably fucked now.”

“Oh fuck you, Mr. Steve Perry meets Cher. I can sing,” he held his hands up.

“No, you can’t, love” Malcom left a kiss on Chase’s cheek.

He looked between us with a wild expression. “WOW! Taking his side!?”

“Well!,” I adjusted Salem and the bag. “That’s my queue to leave.”

“Figures, thank you for taking care of your new cat,” Chase said.

“My new cat?”

“Salem Sebastian L/N, that’s pretty much his name now,” Malcolm said while throwing his auburn-colored hair up into a messy bun.

I hastily shook my head. “We haven’t even labeled it yet.”

Chase and Malcolm shared a look before the former spoke. “Oh no, we’re not doing this again. You and Y/N are two peas in a pod, and I know how badly you both want to be in that pod.”

“Especially with that new haircut,” Malcolm nodded towards my short hair.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” I bid them goodbye with a nod and turned on my heels, stepping through the door.

“Bye Salem’s dad! Talk to you later,” Chase called after me.

On the drive back home, Salem was perched in my lap with his front paws resting on the door, his wondrous eyes taking in every sight I drove past.

“You know,” my voice broke the silence. “I guess your uncle isn’t exactly wrong, Salem. I mean, I could be your dad. Do you want me to be your dad? I think you do.”

He then positioned himself so he could curl up in my lap, his soft purrs vibrating against me.

NOAH

“Are you guys ok with steaks tonight?” Jolly asked from the kitchen.

Matt, who sat next to me on the couch, nodded eagerly. “We’ve eaten like shit the last two days. A nice home-cooked meal sounds delicious, thanks, honey.”

Jolly flipped him off with a smile before going back to getting things set up for dinner.

Nicholas and Folio were talking amongst themselves on the couch next to the one I sat on, but the conversations fell on deaf ears as I continuously scrolled through my phone. The last two days, we’d been locked away in the rental house recording the new album and now, we were taking a much-needed break tonight, opting to grill out and have a bonfire; Jesse and Michael joined us earlier today.

The guys and I have been talking about this for a while now and after the incident right before we left to come up to the mountains, it was time for us to put this idea into motion.

Also, the picture I saw on Y/N’s Instagram story minutes before had me set in stone with my decision.

“We need a bigger house,” I blurted, nearly scaring Salem as he slept between Matt and me.

Jolly nearly dropped the raw steaks while Jesse turned towards me from his spot at the kitchen table.

“That’s random,” Michael said slowly while pausing his mixing at the laptop station.

I shrugged. “We’ve been thinking of moving anyway because of the notes on the car incident and now with that fan showing up on our doorstep, I think it’s about time we move. Too many people know where we live.”

My three roommates shared a glance before Jesse spoke next. “I mean, we have been browsing Zillow lately. A few have come up that we liked.”

Jolly agreed with a nod. “I’ll send an email to the realtor who was working with us before. See if she can get us set up with some tours.”

“Tomorrow,” I said.

“Kind of last minute, don’t you think?” Nicholas asked.

“We’re going to be busy for the next few months. I’d rather get this shit done and over with.”

Matt, who was scrolling through his phone next to me, snorted quietly. “I’d suggest looking for hardwood floors or tile.”

I turned toward him while narrowing my eyes. “What?”

“For the paint spills, it’s easier to clean,” he said while showing me his phone; Y/N’s Instagram post up on the screen. “Look at your face! You’re totally turning turnip fucking red!

With a bashful smile, I scratched my chin. “No, I’m not.”

“Noah and Y/N sitting in a large tree because of Noah’s height! K. I. S. S. I. N. G!”

I shoved Matt. “Fuck off.”

Then I turned back to my roommates. “We need a bigger space with seven bedrooms.”

Jolly quirked a brow. “Seven?”

“Uh,” I ran my hands over my thighs. “Y/N wants a studio for her art, her paintings. I want to make sure she has one.”

Michael smiled. “Well that certainly is a grand gesture isn’t it?”

“It’s something I want to do, man,” I defended.

“I know, Noah. We’ll find a bigger place, it’ll all work out,” he reassured me.

“I hope so.”

Jolly paused prepping dinner to send an email to our realtor, Jackie, as we all spent the rest of the night searching for different houses that would be perfect. All the while, Folio’s phone conversation rested on my ears.

“I know those Mexican candies are your favorite, Michelle. Why do you think I sent you them?” Folio chuckled with a wide smile.

“Noah, it’s almost ten!” Nicholas called from the deck outside.

The patio door was open, letting in the cool night air, and I was helping Jolly clean up the mess from dinner. Salem sat on the counter, every so often licking up the leftover food from the plates I was washing.

“Shit,” I cursed, quickly drying my hands, and pulled out my phone.

However, before I could send the nightly text to Y/N, one from her appeared.

Angel 🪽: I love you, mochi.

Jolly peered over my shoulder. “Oh, that’s adorable.”

I playfully stuck out my tongue at him. “Someone is nosy.”

My fingers worked fast to text Y/N back.

Me: I love you too, angel.

Part of me didn’t want to stop talking to her yet so while leaning against the counter, I scrolled through the videos folder on my phone, selecting the one I took earlier today. It was when we finished mastering The Grey and I was feeling great about how it came out, confident that Y/N would love it so I recorded Salem as he slept during it. Before recording another video of me singing it.

I sent her the first video I took; the one of Salem lying on the couch while The Grey played in the background.

Angel 🪽: Hi Salem baby! Mom misses you! Also, I hear something in the background. Is it..?

I decided to mess with her and not come out right and say it was that song. The one that she gave Jolly the lyrics to. The one she thought was too dark for herself.

Me: He’s napping. He had a long day of playing outside.

I laughed out loud, knowing that her brows were raised to her forehead with this text.

Angel 🪽: You took him outside?

“Do you think Mom is upset with me?” I asked the cat, who simply didn’t bother to care what I was showing him; he wanted the leftover mashed potatoes from Matt’s plate.

Me: Don’t worry, angel. We had him on a harness and leash. He loved laying in the sun on the back patio.

Angel 🪽: I trust you with him, Noah. But what’s that playing in the background of your video?

With my finger hovering over the other video I took, I contemplated sending it. Was it too much? Was it not enough? Would she figure it out? I mean, it was partially her words- meaningful, important. I just added to them. Both of us pulled out the dark from each other. Adding it shirtless, was just another decision- a good, good decision. I wanted her clenching and biting her lip.

Not bothering to overthink it any longer, I hit send.

Me: I can’t wait for you to hear the final version.

NOAH

Mother fucker.

Piece of shit.

Douchebag.

I paced the floor in the living room of the rental house, back and forth. I was so angry, the rage inside me was desperately trying to break through. Ever since I saw that video all over Twitter and Instagram, no amount of meditation and deep breathing could calm the burning anger.

I should have hit him when I had the chance.

Fucking Trey.

“You’re doing the pacing thing again, Noah,” Nicholas sighed.

I ran my fingers through my hair, one of the stands wrapped around my long finger, a hiss falling from my lips when I tugged on a knot. “Ow!”

“Sit down! Stop pacing and stop tugging your damn hair! You’re giving me whiplash.” Matt demanded.

“You saw the video, Matt! It’s been all over Twitter and Instagram all fucking day. I can't even check Bad Omens socials without it showing up. You heard what Trey said to Y/N! He had no regard for her feelings, for any of them. He has no fucking business even being there to begin with.”

It seemed like last night after the Hollow Souls show, Trey managed to get backstage and confront Y/N, Chase, and Malcolm. No one was sure who recorded it but from how close the video was, my guess was one of the venue workers. Probably sold it to TMZ for a few extra bucks.

“I’m aware, Noah. We’re all aware and so is half of Twitter. He’s an asshole and his dad should have pulled out,” Matt said.

I snorted, halting my pacing only for a moment. “We should tweet that.”

He chuckled, “You know I’m game.”

Jesse spoke next. “There’s nothing you can do, Noah. But based on her reaction, Y/N stood up for herself. She got the closure and told Trey to fuck off. You can’t control and fix everything. She handled it on her own.”

I marveled at how much he sounded like Dr. Poulos. Always reminding me of what I can’t control. I knew I couldn’t control or fix anything but it still made me angry.

“He still had no right to say things like that; not to her,” I fell onto the couch next to Michael, my leg immediately beginning to bounce.

Bailey told Y/N a piece of her mind, followed by Trey. I could only imagine how broken she must have felt with the two in such a short amount of time. But Y/N was a strong woman. She held her head high and always took the high road. She defended herself and stood up for what she believed in, what she wanted out of life.

For that, I will always admire her.

Matt leaned against the pool stick in his hand, he and Jolly pausing their game of pool when I rushed down the steps to show them the video.

“I get it. So many fucking people with their opinions and people who say shit just to say it; even that slimy fuck. But, think of how fucking cool Y/N is. She told him off and he's never going to come back from that. Trust me, everyone’s trashing him. I doubt he’ll ever be in a fuckin band again.”

“You’re right,” I smiled proudly.

He snorted, going back to the pool game. “I know I am, thank you.”

Peering at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was only 7 in the evening, still a few hours until my nightly text with Y/N. Although I wanted to ask her about how she was feeling but knew that if it was something to worry about, Chase or Malcolm would have texted me.

I was, however, shocked when I received a text from an unknown number; the message making me sit straighter up on the couch. Michael noticed the way my body went stiff for a brief moment and motioned to my phone.

“Don’t tell me it’s another video.”

“No,” I shook my head. “It’s a text; from Joe.”

Folio’s head snapped up from petting Salem who was lying in his lap. “Joe Mulherin. The artist they’re touring with?”

I nodded now. “Yeah.”

Unknown: Hey Noah, this is Joe. I got your number from Chase and Malcolm. This is a little awkward but I wanted to introduce myself. I’ve actually listened to your band- you’re really talented! The acoustic version of If I’m There was killer, seriously.

“Oh, is he sweet-talking you?” Matt asked while peering over my shoulder as he knelt behind the couch.

As I went about saving his number, another message from Joe came through.

Joe Mulherin: I’m texting you because I’m sure you saw the video of what happened with Trey and Y/N. I will firstly say, she’s fucking awesome! And I’m honored to be on this tour with her and the guys. Incredible musicians and incredible people. Gearing back to the whole Trey situation, he showed up out of nowhere; but I feel it’s important to let you know, at least from my side, that Y/N kicked ass. She stood up for herself and I could see she felt a world of relief.

“What are you going to say?” Jesse asked while taking a bite from his apple, now sitting on the other side of me.

“No fucking privacy,” I grumbled under my breath as I worked out a response.

Me: Hey Joe, it’s Noah. I’ve heard a lot about you as well. Y/N has been a huge fan of yours for a long time. She was stoked about this tour, and yes she is awesome. Y/N’s special to a lot of us. She’s a genuine person and has a heart of gold; Chase and Malcolm as well. I appreciate your kind words. That means a lot. You know how it is- especially in this industry. And I did see the video, unfortunately. You were there?

Joe Mulherin: In case she needed support.

Running a hand over my jaw, I pushed away the feeling of regret for not being there for her. Y/N didn’t need me there with her all the time to fight her battles. She clearly could do it on her own.

Me: Right, thank you for that. I hated what Trey said, I wish I could have stopped it myself but I also know how important it was for Y/N to have closure. I’m so fucking proud of her.

It was true. My heart was soaring in my chest with how proud I was of her. She needed this closure. Not enough to bring her back or get closer to him because Y/N knew she couldn't live through that again.

Joe Mulherin: You should be proud. She’s awesome and she’s over the moon about you. From what I’m told you really lit a fire inside her, and that seems to be shining through. My partner did that for me when I found her and I’m sure it’s the same for you as well. So I just wanted to pass this along and formally introduce myself. I’m sure Y/N will bring this up to you but I wanted to show you how I saw it on my end. I hope we can meet soon.

Joe Mulherin: Oh, also. Hollow Souls new record is going to be sick. What they’ve been working on is sounding great.

With a bright smile, I leaned back onto the couch as I typed out my message.

Me: For sure! Thank you so much. I wish I could be there. But, I understand it’s not the right time. I do hope soon we can chill at my place to shoot the shit. Thank you again for sending me a text. Very kind of you and I’m sure we’ll talk soon. I can’t wait to hear her new album. We’re all very stoked about it. We’re also close to releasing our record, I’d love for you to check it out!

Joe Mulherin: Hell yes!

Matt hummed while patting my shoulder. “He seems like a cool dude.”

I agreed with a nod as a sudden surge of inspiration hit me; so much so I sat up with a start.

“Hey, Jolly. Can you open the file for Like a Villain? I have a verse I want to add real quick.”

Nicholas responded. “Weren’t we worried that it might have been too long?”

Cursing, I nodded when I remembered that we were running into that issue the other day when we were mixing Like a Villain. We were already over the five-minute mark but I needed to add this verse; it was important.

“Let’s split it. Make the first half its own song,” I suggested when the idea struck me.

My bandmates all shared a look before Folio nodded. “I like it. But we’d need a name for it.”

I pursed my lips as I thought about the lyrics, humming them quietly.

You couldn't wait, wait, wait for the day, day, day I lost. It's such a shame, shame, shame you couldn't change, look what it cost.

“What It Cost,” I said.

Jolly smiled. “I like it. Why don’t you head in the booth and we can record the new lyrics.”

As I set myself up in the booth, I muttered the new lyrics to myself a few times over, trying to figure out the best way to lay them out and what kind of cursive to use for it. The music picked up in my headphones and immediately moved to the beat. My fingers drummed against my thigh in beat with Folio’s drumming on the track. I let my eyes flutter shut, licking my lips, before belting out the fresh lyrics in the confines of the booth.

The dark filled the room, any feelings I had earlier regarding Trey died down, and the shadows were lost. A fry of my larynx and siren-like soprano erupted from me. Slowly the bravado went from soft almost alluring- “Go the fuck away, don’t come again.”

To a bite so vicious and raw, the growls come from activated my soft palate, ribcage expanding and within my diaphragm spreading to my throat and out my mouth.

“I’ll see your face in the fire” ribcage closed exhale alto “And burn it out.”

I added a deep growl to the word fire but didn’t like how it sounded. So with a twirl of my finger towards Jolly, we redid the take a few more times until it was perfect.

This is confidence hard-won yet deep, anchored in the true self that is always safe at my core. I let it rip. If Y/N can close that chapter, so will I. From what I knew of him, what I remembered. What I’ve seen.

Good fucking riddance.

Later that night in the comfort of my bed, I grasped my phone in my hand as my eyes drifted in and out of sleep. It was almost 10 pm and even though I was exhausted, ready for slumber to drag me to its dark depths, I needed to send this text; sleep be damned.

Me: I love you, angel. I’m so proud of you.

I didn’t say why but I didn’t have to. Y/N knew.

Angel 🪽: I love you too, mochi. 🖤

NOAH

I shook my head with a disappointed sigh. “No, this house won’t work. It’s not big enough. “

Jackie looked around the living room we were all currently standing in; smaller than the one back at our house.

“Why? It has enough space for the four of you. You’re all in music, right? There’s a room perfect in the basement for that.”

Jolly sucked in a breath as I scrunched up my face. We want our studio to have light, and not feel as if we’re making music in a dungeon.

“We need four rooms for us and two extra. One for our studio. And the other would have to be bigger, better lighting,” I informed while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

This was the second house we’ve toured today; Jesse, Jolly, Michael, and myself. We took the day off of recording to do this, so to see yet another one fail, my mood souring pretty quickly.

“What are you wanting it for?” Jackie wondered.

“An art studio.”

She shifted on her feet while clutching her iPad to her chest; the one she used to look up the dimensions and notes of the houses. “Mr. Sebastian, we can keep looking if you’d like, however, you’re asking for a little much in this area. I don’t mean to pry or speak out of turn, but it sounds like you’re asking for a risky property. Are you sure you need something of that magnitude if it’s only a few of you living here?”

My eyes narrowed as Jesse let out a low whistle. “I was very clear about what I wanted. I personally don’t believe I need to discuss the details of why I need it.”

“Of course, I apologize,” Jackie’s lips were pulled in a tight line. “It sounds like you’re asking for more out of pocket than what’s actually necessary.”

“With all due respect, don't tell me what you think is necessary. I want the home to be right, for all of us. And what I want and need is a space large enough for 2 studios and the master bedroom to be fully sufficient with space. The details don’t concern you. You either want our money or you don’t,” I finished with a shrug.

“My apologies, we will keep looking.”

While Jackie went about looking for another listing on her iPad, I turned towards the guys; Michael giving me a reassuring smile.

“Don’t stress too much about it, Noah. It’s only the second house.”

“Y/N’s art studio has to be next to my room, with the perfect lighting and easy cleanup. I don’t want her feeling uneasy if paint gets everywhere,” I said.

“Is this how you actually feel or is this your OCD talking?” Jesse wondered.

I rubbed my jaw. “No, no it’s not just about that shit. She needs to be comfortable where she doesn’t feel the need to be careful. Y/N needs to be able to be carefree and safe. Here. With me.”

Jolly rested a hand on my shoulder. “It will be fine, I promise.”

“I know,” I blew out a shaky breath. “I don’t want her to be unhappy here and give her a reason to walk out”.

“Noah, she’s gonna love this so much. Y/N isn’t going to just walk away from this. Not this time,” Jesse reassured me.

Feeling a little more at ease, I gave a slow nod. “Oh, we need a big window with a lot of light too. Salem loves to sunbathe.”

Michael snorted. “You say those three words and all of a sudden you become a cat dad.”

Damn straight.

With a plan to tour a few more houses in two days, we parted ways with Jackie and piled into Jolly’s car as he began the drive back to the rental house we were staying in the last week. Right before we arrived, however, my phone rang with a call from one of the reps at Sumerian.

“Oh boy,” I muttered while answering the call, setting it on speaker.

“Hey, guys! How’s it going? I see that you guys are busy recording. We love that!” Logan’s fake voice boasted through the phone.

Jolly and I shared a look in the rearview mirror and I nodded. “Yep. We’ve been working nonstop.”

“Well listen, we’re getting some push from the higher-ups, with everything going on and we know you guys have been working endlessly, the singles we’ve been approved to release are straight-up fire! However, we need something else. We need a hit. The radio push would be great for the band- exposure and all that. Think you can do it?”

“Yes,” I forced out through gritted teeth.

One thing I didn’t like was being told how to work and how to create my music.

“Awesome!” Logan cheered. “We’ll talk soon!”

Once the call ended, I tossed my phone in my lap and ran my hands down my face.

“Fuck, they’re pushing this radio shit. I don’t give a fuck about the radio, that’s not why we do this.”

“I know,” Jolly nodded while he took the turn to the familiar street. “But business calls. This is the unfavorable side. The question is, how are we going to magically write a hit in this short amount of time? We planned on releasing the album in a few weeks.”

“It’s easy, writing a modern rock song isn’t hard, Jolly.” I shrugged. “We’ve seen how many of the greats have done it. I have one just in mind.”

Jesse turned towards me from his spot in the passenger seat. “Are you going to pull out your Scott Stap voice?”

I smirked. “Fuck, maybe I will.

“You have to use that false bravado,” Michael smacked my arm.

I knew I could do this, I wasn’t attempting to sound cocky but, like I said many of the greats knew how this went down.

Business.

Fuck business

I feel it right into my bones that I’ve got more than it takes to make this work. I began humming random sounds, my facial expressions twitching, the cogs just continuing to turn. I had the perfect sound. It all came to me like a gust of wind.

When you resonate your mind with your soul, you will learn to live through a love that is so honest it is raw. There was another risk with a song like this; with writing like this.

I needed to get it out of me.

NOAH

I sat outside on the deck of the rental house, the fresh morning air was crisp but fine enough to wear a sweater; the heat of the sun warmed the skin of my face. Salem lay stretched out on the warm wood of the deck, his black fur shining with the rays of the sun.

“Don’t tell Mom I didn’t put your harness on,” I pointed to him

I realized early on that Salem wouldn’t run, curious as he was, he always stayed by one of us.

My laptop was set up on the table in front of me, the Zoom app idling as it waited for the incoming call. With the stress of trying to come up with a radio hit in less than a few weeks, my anxiety was running rampant. Even though I had the song all laid out in my mind, it still scared me to finally put it out in the air for everyone to hear.

I texted Dr. Poulos if she had time for a few-minute chat, one she agreed with. Thankfully her prior appointment was also a Zoom meeting so she was able to hop right on another one with me.

Jolly appeared in the doorway leading outside, donning his leather jacket. The wind blew through the long strands of his hair as he nodded towards me.

“I’m heading to that newish coffee shop nearby. Did you want anything?” He asked.

“I could go for something,” I nodded while taking off the hood of my yellow sweater.

After I gave him my order, I noticed the way the corner of his lips curled before he turned to walk away.

“Try not to fall in love!” I called after him with a laugh.

Jolly froze and then looked over his shoulder. “Wh-what?”

“The coffee,” I smirked. “Try not to fall in love with it. I’m all open to something new but we like our usual.”

“Oh,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Right.”

With Jolly gone, my computer lit up with a new call from Dr.Poulos and I answered it with a faint smile.

“Good afternoon, Noah. How’s it going in the mountains?” She smiled wide at me.

“Uh, really great actually. We always like to find some kind of solace when we either write or record; it helps us mentally,” I answered while moving the screen to show her the mountains behind me.

“That’s wonderful to hear! Now, you mentioned something about your record label pushing for a radio hit?” Dr. Poulos adjusted her glasses.

I ran a hand through my hair while nodding. “Yeah. I have no problem with that; writing it. It’s been inside of me for a while now. I just don’t know what to call it. I keep putting that part off, pretending it’s already completed so it’ll name itself.”

“Can I be frank with you?”

“Of course,” I nodded.

Dr. Poulos took off her glasses and steepled her hands together underneath her chin. “What do you feel like you’ve been doing, Noah? You’ve mentioned the word pretend on and off for a while in our sessions. Is that what you’re doing? Pretending things are going well when internally you’re struggling to accept the status you’re at with y/n?”

My eyes snapped up from my keyboard to the screen. “What was that?”

“Pretending? Are you just pretending?”

Suddenly, it was as if I’d been hit with a metal baseball bat to the knee, knocking me to the ground below.

Something Y/N told me that night of the party. “I’m so tired of you pretending that you don’t have feelings for me.”

Just Pretend.

That’s all I ever do.

Dr. Poulos spoke again. “You said your label is pressuring you to write a hit. Have you given any thought about if that pressure and the pressure of wanting to be with Y/N romantically is almost conjoined?”

I pursed my lips while leaning back into my chair, giving this question a deep analysis; although the answer came to me almost instantly.

Yes.

NOAH

With a yawn, I held the steaming cup from the cafe in town as Salem and I walked out to the front porch, both of us opting to sit on the swinging chair this time. We had two days left in the rental house and I wanted to take full advantage of the peace that was held in the mountains.

Something that maybe in a few years, I’d look for with Y/N.

“Alright bud, ready to watch Mom’s interview?” I asked Salem as he got comfortable on my lap.

He purred loudly in my lap as I pulled up the live stream from the podcast that was interviewing not only Y/N but Joe as well. He was finishing up his performance of one of his songs and when the camera panned over to Y/N, who was smiling as she watched, my heart soared. She looked fucking breathtaking and my soul yearned to have her close to me again.

Soon.

“Mom looks beautiful,” I whispered to Salem, who didn’t bother to wake from his nap.

“That was phenomenal. We appreciate you being here with us.”

I didn’t miss how the interviewer kept his attention on Joe, not bothering to give praise to Y/N. With a scowl, I kept the video up while opening my text messages, and clicking on her contact. I got a glimpse of her phone in her lap so I knew eventually she would see the message.

Me: You look phenomenal, angel.

As I watched, I took a sip of my coffee, humming at the rich taste. I had to admit that this new coffee shop knew how to make a drink.

“Everyone online is begging me to ask you two this but what’s the dating situation? There’s so much chemistry between the two of you in the behind-the-scenes clips you guys post on Instagram. Everyone wants to know; are you two dating?”

I rolled my eyes with a groan, knowing that this question was bound to be asked. It’s always a common thing any time two artists of the opposite sex tour together. People see the great chemistry between them and automatically think they’re fucking. Now, I did see the videos on Hollow Souls Instagram account but to me, it looked like a group of friends having fun while on tour; harmless fun.

I trusted Y/N. She knew that.

Y/N crossed her legs. “Just because a male and female artist tour together, doesn't mean they’re dating.”

A flood of endorphins rushed through me. The interview was important, but I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful and fucking sexy Y/N looked. A few moments in my imagination and I’m released from the troubles of the upper brain, wanting so badly to be happy with her in a space where pleasure is king, and I couldn’t wait to stick my head between the legs of my queen.

“Fuckin tell him, angel,” I said while working out a new text to her.

Me: Tell him who’s boss, angel. You know who you belong to.

“See? Your mom is cool. Salem you should be watching this. No? Naps are important. I feel you,” I chuckled while scratching his head.

I felt a surge of pride in my chest when Y/N continued to stand up to the interviewer, not taking his shit questions.

“Video surfaced online that Trey was at the show a few nights ago and it looked like the two of you were having an intense conversation. Is there a chance he’s joining Hollow Souls again?”

My lips pulled in a low scowl as I saw a flash of pain behind Y/N’s eyes when she forced a smile before leaning forward with narrowed eyes.

“Here’s what we’re not going to do; we’re not gonna focus on my love life, or personal life. I make art, not headlines. I’m cool because I'm me, and my band is cool. The art is what’s the focus, not anything else. I do feel as if people need to understand that having a private life is my right. I don’t feel comfortable sharing every aspect. Like I said, I make art, not headlines.”

The interviewer tried to joke. “That’s a bold statement to make. It comes with the whole fame territory.”

“I refuse to allow this time in my life to be touched, tainted, or bastardized by anyone,” Y/N finished while crossing her arms over her chest.

All the heat rushed straight to my dick with the image of Y/N bossing me around like that so I sent her another text.

Me: Fuck I love when you put douchebags in their place. You’re so sexy, angel. Fuck. I’m going to think about you bossing me around all night.

I knew I succeeded when I noticed a red hue cross her cheeks and Y/N squeezed her legs together as she read my text.

As the interview continued, I began to sing lyrics that came out of nowhere. “I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face and not a day goes by where I don’t think I feel the same.”

Y/N’s soft voice brought my attention back to the interview.

“I’m becoming a very private person as of late so I don’t need to go into the personal aspects of my life. Just know I’m moving past things, and I’m very content. Dare I say happy with where the future will be.”

The interviewer nodded. “Fair enough. Would you say you’re hopeful for what the future will bring?”

With a bright smile, Y/N looked directly at the camera, her eyes staring directly into my soul, and winked.

“Oh yes, more than hopeful.”

Once the interview ended, I locked my phone and began to swing on the chair, every so often petting Salem. The sun was hiding behind an array of dark clouds, a storm was approaching; the perfect kind of weather to cuddle inside with the ones you love.

Or write a radio hit.

“I can wait for you at the bottom,” I hummed. “I can stay away if you want me to.”

Salem woke and looked up at me with bright green eyes.

“I can wait for years if I gotta, heaven knows I ain’t getting over you,” I hummed, this time louder.

My eyes bulged as I picked up Salem and ran back inside to where Jolly and Matt were lounging on the couch.

“They want their radio hit? Well, I’m going to fucking give it to them!” I smiled widely as they looked up at me.

Hours later after the song was written, all of us hung out in the living room of the rental house; Jesse and Michael playing pool, Folio on the phone with his girlfriend, Nicholas and Jolly working on the music for the new song. Matt and I were sitting on the couch together watching a movie, Salem perched on the back of the couch, resting his head on Matt’s shoulder.

Noticing it was nearing 10 p.m., I pulled out my phone to text Y/N only to realize she texted me already with four pictures attached.

Angel 🪽: You were bold to text me earlier like that, mochi, I could barely contain myself. Here’s a little payback. Hope you’re all flustered and bothered, whatever you’re doing I suppose will have to wait. Dream of me. I love you.

Clicking on the first picture, I nearly dropped my phone in my lap when the bright red lingerie graced my eyes.

Holy shit.

Y/N seemed to be in the bathroom of her tour bus as she posed in different positions showcasing the red lace teddy that hugged every inch of her marvelously. The color red did absolute wonders for her skin and I licked my lips, wanting to taste the valley between her breasts down her stomach to the sweet mound between her legs. The floral tattoo on her arm looked gorgeous as she held the phone out wide for the picture.

Tilting my phone away from prying eyes, I quickly sent four texts in a row to Y/N.

Me: Matt’s right next to me, angel. What if he saw this?

Me: fuck, my dick is throbbing right now but I can’t do shit about it. Consider this my karma.

Me: I can’t stop staring at the pictures. Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Beautiful. A true definition of an angel.

Me: I’m going to call you in a little bit. I need to hear your voice. I need it.

My cock was aching in my joggers and I tried so hard not to make it noticeable as I shifted in my seat.

Matt peered over at me with a raised brow. “You good?”

I coughed. “Yep. I’m going to head to bed.”

All but jumping from the couch, I made my way upstairs towards my room but Jesse’s voice stopped me.

“You’re not bringing Salem? He always sleeps with you.”

Running a hand over my jaw. “I’m going to take a shower first then I’ll grab him.”

“Right after you look at those pictures Y/N’s sent you again,” Matt teased, not bothering to take his eyes off the television.

A low growl came from my throat as I pointed to him. “You didn’t see shit.”

He raised his hands in the air. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Bidding them goodnight with a nod, I took the stairs two at a time and then locked the door to my room. My skin felt a blaze, those images burned in my brain, and my cock was almost standing straight out as I peered down at it; a tent in my joggers.

Y/N texted me and I let out a shuddering breath as I read it, trying to compose myself for a minute.

Angel 🪽: I’m going to bed early tonight. Maybe we can talk on the phone tomorrow. I love you.

Even in my aroused state, my heart yearned for the one that held it and my soul in her hands.

Me: Fuck, I love you too angel. So fucking much.

Quickly shedding myself from my clothes I then positioned myself on the bed, my hair falling into waves against the pillow as I planted my feet on the edge of the mattress. My knees were up and spread wide as my cock stood straight up, little beads of precum oozing from the small slit. I took a finger and swirled it all around the sensitive part of my head.

“Fuck,” my hips bucked with the high amount of sensitivity.

My room was eerily quiet, too quiet for what I was about to do, so I turned on some music; more specifically Eyelids by Hollow Souls.

If she couldn’t be here with me physically, I needed to hear her angelic voice somehow.

I glanced at the pictures on my phone again, focusing on the one of Y/N sitting on the bathroom counter, her legs spread wide showcasing her sweet pussy that was barely covered behind the red lace, and her perfect tits were almost falling out at the top of the lingerie set. The sinister smirk on his lips told me she knew what I was going to do the second I was alone.

I was fucking obsessed with how that teddy looked on her; her knowing what the color red did to me. It was so sexy, all I wanted to do was take it off with my teeth. I imagined Y/N as she rode me while wearing this teddy and she shoved the panties in my mouth when I would moan too loud.

“Oh god,” I groaned while gripping my cock tight after pulling on the skin.

Her voice sang sweet words to me but all I could imagine was her leaning over me to drag her lips across my throat.

“You’re being too loud, Noah. We can’t risk the others hearing you.”

I could almost taste those panties soaked with her arousal and I halted my stroking for a second.

“Fuck! I have to improvise,” I leaned over the bed to rummage through my suitcase to find a thin sock.

I hesitated for a brief second. “Shit, am I really doing this just to help get me off?”

The image was still clear in my mind, Y/N riding my cock with her panties shoved in my mouth.

“Fuck it,” I stuffed the sock in my mouth and began stroking my cock faster this time.

I knew I wouldn’t last long, my orgasm burning low at the base of my spine and my stomach muscles contracted as I spread my knees wider apart. I lifted my hips off the bed when the grip around my cock was almost bruising, needing the slight pain to push me closer to release. One hand around my cock, the other holding my phone with the picture of Y/N, I supported my moans into the sock.

If I was being honest, Eros took hold of me. I couldn’t wait to be able to actually fuck Y/N again. I’d make love to her every night, no question. This evening, carnality took flight. I wanted to leave her shaking, crying, and clawing at my chest. Begging me to never stop.

“Oh gods, angel. I can’t wait to feel you again,” I moaned into the sock as I nearly dropped my phone when my orgasm was so close.

My grip was tighter and pace faster when I laid my legs straight out now, ready for pure euphoric bliss to drown me in waves.

I was completely blissed out and exhausted, but I needed this release. I tried harder to hold the phone up eventually losing grip of it as it clattered to the floor. With my free hand, I now grasped at the blanket beneath me when my orgasm finally ripped through me. Warm cum shot out on my hand and stomach as I rode out the aftershocks with muffled screams, the song ending right as I finished.

“That’s so good, Noah. So good for me,” Y/N’s soft voice cooed in my ear.

As I came down from my high, one thing was clear. I wanted Y/N imprinted in my mind as vividly as possible, not that her silhouette wasn’t always there already. I could feel my tongue involuntarily move in a wiper direction. Naturally envision grazing her insides with my warm, wet tongue.

NOAH

Folio came bounding down the stairs with a happy smile on his face. I raised a brow to him as I sat on the couch, strumming a few notes on the guitar.

“Where are you headed?” I asked.

“I’ve got a date with Michelle tonight. We’re going to Wingstop then head to the drive-in. It’s showing her favorite Cillian Murphy movie,” he answered while slipping into his leather vest.

“Taking the bike out?” Jolly asked from his spot at the computer as he paused mixing our current track.

“We’re going to have a picnic at the drive-in; there’s a nice area designated for this. Michelle has no idea. I’m planning on surprising her after she gets out of class by picking her up.”

“Good for you, man. I’m really happy that things are going so well for you,” Nicholas smiled.

“You guys don’t need me tonight, right?” He asked.

I shook my head with a smile. “No, go enjoy your night. We can't do much drum tracking here anyway. Tell Michelle we say hey.”

“WEAR A CONDOM!” Matt, who was sitting on the floor playing with Salem and his new batch of toys, yelled just before the door shut behind Folio.

While Jesse and Michael played a game of pool, I shifted my attention to the notebook on the coffee table. Tonight we had plans to record our new song but nerves were eating away at my insides. To become so raw and vulnerable in front of everyone as I poured my heart and soul out into the song gave me a bit of pause.

“You know what’s wild?” I asked suddenly.

“What’s that?” Jolly questioned while turning around in his chair.

“It’s crazy how everything always comes full circle, I guess. With our last record, I said, “writing songs instead of letters, 'cause I’m too afraid.”

“Have you written actual letters?” Matt questioned while lying on the floor with Salem, his head resting in the new bed I bought Salem.

“Sort of,” I shrugged while tapping the pen against my notebook. “More like entries to Y/N, I guess. I can’t write fucking letters to her knowing that there’s a chance they’d get lost and she’d never get them.”

I sighed while running a hand down my face. “The only way I know how to express how I feel is through music. I have these lines I keep repeating over and over; things I've said, things I haven't. I just need to make sure that when Y/N hears this song she knows how I truly feel.”

“Here we thought you were writing this song out of spite to the label, or poke fun at radio hits,” Jolly jokes.

“I don’t know what that means. They wanted a fucking hit so we’re going to give it to them.

Nicholas rubbed my shoulder. “She knows, Noah. You two say I love you every night.”

“I know but I need her to know how I feel deep down. How sorry I am for how everything went down the last few months. The fighting, Bailey, and not being who she needed when she needed me.”

The guilt about Bailey still lingered. The way Y/N’s face looked so broken when she found out about me sleeping with Bailey. I have a lot of regrets in my life and that was one of them. Y/N and I are in a good place but I couldn’t help but worry that she still wasn’t over what happened.

I couldn't risk any reason to have Y/N leave me again.

“The both of you have grown since then. You’re where you’re supposed to be right now and soon, when Y/N hears this song, she’ll never leave,” Michael reassured me.

Jesse agreed with a nod. “We’ve read the lyrics, Noah. It’s a great song.”

“It's not hard to guess what the true meaning behind the song is. You’ve been subconsciously working on it off and on for months.”

“Jolly-.”

He continued. “You both need to just make it official already. Your perfectionist nature and need to control everything is making this not so simple. You’re both so alike. You’re right there. You're saying I love you, call a spade a spade and ask her to be yours.”

I stared down at the socks on my feet. “If Y/N shows up to the album release event maybe I can officially ask her then.”

“Maybe?” Matt snorted. “What the hell do you mean, maybe? You’re looking for houses with an art studio and you’re saying maybe? Of course, she’ll be there.”

“You’ve done everything you’ve set your fucking mind to, Noah. Don’t let this be another thing you regret,” Nicholas said.

I wanted to let this song be the rock and holy anchor for her. Coming to terms from a healthier perspective.

New beginnings.

My vulnerability was laid out on paper. If anyone else needed to hear it it would be there for them. The message is there, you’d just have to find it.

The way travelers seek the stars at night.

With a deep breath, I tossed the notebook back onto the table, not needing it because I knew every single word of this song. So much so, I sang it in my sleep.

“Give me five minutes, I need to do something first,” I called over my shoulder as I walked towards the bathroom of the rental house.

Once inside, I pulled out my phone with a long sigh and worked out the long message.

Me: Hi angel. I know it’s not 10 o’clock yet but I felt the need to text you a little sooner. Shit has been weighing on me. I want to apologize for what I put you through. The miscommunication, the mind games, the confusion, and Bailey. I should never have brought her into any of our lives. It was a dark moment that I succumbed to and I’ll never forgive myself for using Bailey as a way to hurt you. It was never my intention. I was drunk the night I slept with her, not saying it’s an excuse, but it was a dark place in my life that I never want to go back to.

Blowing out a shaky breath, I hit send before working out another message.

Me: My apology is for not being better, for not getting here sooner, for not rescuing earlier or with greater strength; all I ask is that you forgive me for those transgressions. In those times I was doing the very best I could and loving you so very much all the time. I love you so much, Y/N. I’m hoping that with this, we’re starting clean. There’s been a lot of different phases of my life and I can’t be the best I can unless I make amends for everything wrong that happened between us. I love you.

As I waited for Y/N to reply, I sat on the counter in the bathroom and let my long legs dangle off, swinging with anticipation. I nearly dropped my phone when it buzzed in my hand.

Angel 🪽: hi mochi. Well, first I’ll say thank you. Thank you for communicating with me and apologizing. With the weeks we’ve been apart since I’ve been working on myself too. I forgive you. I accepted that while it did hurt me, you made a mistake. I want us to let go of the negative emotions and painful parts of memories.

For many years I had punished myself, feeling that if I forgave more fully then love would blossom; yet in truth, it had never been there at all. Things have changed. I want to be better too.

Forgiveness brings the liberty to love again and to heal the heart, soul, and mind. Thank you again, mochi. I love you too.

With a lighter heart full of so much love for Y/N, I hopped off the counter and nearly barreled through the door, clapping my hands loudly.

“Alright, let's record this hit!”

My heart was pounding as I stepped up to our makeshift booth, put on the headphones and shook out the nerves from my hands. Over time I learned how to shake the nerves from doing my vocal takes in front of others, and lose the embarrassment.

With our first two records, I tried to emanate vocals from other artists because I wasn’t confident in myself as a vocalist. Now, I wanted Y/N and everyone else to see that this was me; this record was Noah Sebastian and Bad Omens.

With Jolly and Matt's cue, I took a deep breath and started on the first verse.

“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out? So will you wait me out or will you drown me out?”

Y/N’s face flashed in my mind at that first meeting; our first day on tour when I stepped off of my bus. She looked absolutely breathtaking with her long blonde hair blowing with the gentle breeze. Her toned legs were accentuated by the boots she wore and the ink of her Greek Gods tattoo on full display. The way her lips parted as I stole the breath from her longs with our first of many stolen glances.

I licked my lips, eyes fluttering shut as I let the first chorus rip through me with my cursive singing. “I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.”

I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see the other's reaction. I needed to stay in this place I found myself in; my soul screaming for Y/N’s.

“I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face and not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out? So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?”

We sat on the beach together, all those months ago, and Y/N continued to try and hide herself from me. She wore the faintest of smiles as she blew out a shaky breath when I lifted her chin with a knuckle.

"You shouldn't be with someone that drains your spirits. Drain the light from your soul, angel."

"It can't rain all the time."

“I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I could wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you. We'll try again. When we're not so different. We will make amends. 'Til then I'll just pretend,” my hand rested on the windows of the booth, nails digging into the glass as I continued to pour myself into this.

“Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy? Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy?”

Y/N didn’t want to leave, I could see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

I tried not to think back to the negative aspects of our night together. I always tried to remember the way her skin tasted or felt against mine. But every once in a while her face as she was seconds away from walking away from me came crashing into me without warning.

“I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I could wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.”

Still buried deep inside of Y/N, I rolled our bodies so now she was straddling me. Her hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered my chest and she leaned down to lick across the snake and apple on my neck. The noises I made, and my moans were so soft as Y/N’s hot tongue went up and down my neck. She grazed over my Adam's apple with her teeth and bit down. I shook underneath her and wrapped an arm around her back to bring her closer, burying my aching cock, deeper inside of her.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. Y/N gave me a show. This was heaven in hiding.

I sucked in a large breath, ready for the crescendo of the song, and let every fucking feeling I have for my angel come out through me in a surge of passion and energy.

“We'll try again. When we're not so different. We will make amends. 'Til then I'll just pretend,” I nearly fell back into the booth as a lone tear fell from my eyes, quickly wiping it away.

Rain poured around us with the onslaught of the storm as Y/N pointed a firm finger at me. “You always just pretend that everything is fine when it’s not! Then you stand there and have the right to say I’m the pain in the ass? Fuck you, Noah! I’m so tired of you pretending that you don’t have feelings for me.”

With the last few lines of the song left, I envisioned the one memory that I remembered every morning when I woke and every night before I fell asleep; the same thought was always there at the end of it.

I am worthy.

“Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy? Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy?”

“You what?” I urged while taking a step towards her.

Y/N wildly shook her head as her makeup ran down her face, staining her cheeks and neck in mascara.

“I-I can’t.” Y/N pressed her palm into her forehead.

“Yes, you can,” I licked my lips in anticipation. “Fuck, Y/N! YOU WHAT?!”

“I’m in love with you! Okay?! I fucking love you!

I tossed the headphones off of me to let out a deep breath and center myself once again, coming back to reality; not before one final memory flashed in my mind.

“Well, that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2-second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing!”

By now, the rain was a torrential downpour, branches of the trees swaying widely in the wind as the sky cracked loudly with lightning and thunder; it shook both Y/N and I to our bones.

“So what?” Y/N scoffed. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I fucking love you, angel!” I blurted out.

NICK R

Holy shit.

I looked over towards Jolly, who also had a shocked expression on his face. We all just watched Noah pour his soul into a song, one that would typically take more than one vocal take to get right, but he was so confident in this song that he didn't stop once.

As soon as Noah stepped out of the booth, Salem trotted over to him and was swiftly picked up in his arms. “Did you like that, Salem? Do you think it was good enough?”

Matt snorted. For the record label, my ass.”

Noah’s eyes narrowed at him as he plopped down on the couch next to me. “I still feel like something is missing.”

Almost immediately as he sat, he nearly stumbled off of the couch as he reached for his phone on the table in front of him.

“It’s not ten o'clock yet,” Michael teased.

Noah flipped him off. “No, asshole. I need something from Bryan. There’s something I want to use from the video of our day at the pier. I want to bury Y/N’s voice in the track.”

I turned towards him when Salem decided to sit in my lap now. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Do you think she’ll notice?”

“No. Because nobody is going to know what this record truly is or who it’s about. It’s not their business. I’ve got it all worked out in my head.”

We could all see the bags under Noah’s eyes since he stayed up all night the previous night writing this song, making sure it was perfect.

“You should also get some sleep. We can figure this out tomorrow,” Jolly suggested.

Noah immediately shook his head. “No.”

“Noah-,” Jesse started.

“Let me fucking do this, guys. Please. I need this,” he almost begged, his voice quiet.

Eventually, I nodded. “Alright. This is your song, man. If you want to do it, go for it.”

He smiled while throwing his hair in a low bun and turned towards Matt, shaking his phone. “Bryan sent over the audio. Think you can mix it?”

Matt held a hand to his chest and had a faux hurt expression. “Is my dear Noah doubting my mixing abilities?”

As the two of them along with Jolly began working on mixing the audio to bury it in the track, I had my own agenda. Salem looked up at me with curious eyes as I began typing widely on my phone.

“Your uncles better be cool with this idea because if not, I don’t know how else I’ll be able to pull it off,” I muttered to the cat.

Me: This new song Noah just recorded is heavy. We need to plan something to finally get their asses in gear and stop the bullshit.

Chase: I’m down.

Malcolm: You don’t even have to ask me twice. What are we thinking?

While I worked out the plan with them, Michael spoke from his spot in the kitchen as he grabbed a round of drinks for all of us; non-alcoholic for Noah since he recently started his sober journey.

“Does this masterpiece have a name?”

Noah leaned back in his chair, hands resting behind his head, and smiled wide. “Just pretend.”

I raised a brow. “Just pretend?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, cuddling the blanket closer to his chest that he had wrapped around himself.

“I love it,” Jolly admitted. “It’s perfect.”

Noah smiled, bumping fists with him. “Thank you, I think so too.”

NOAH

I stood in the middle of the large bedroom, mind running a mile a minute as I envisioned how the space would look. Jolly, Jesse, and Michael stood behind me as we all decided together that this place was perfect. It was our new home.

“So, we’ve been thinking,” Jolly started as he walked around to face me.

My brows furrowed. “Do you guys not like this house? I know it is a bit out of our price range but it’s worth it, I think. It has enough bedrooms for all of us and the two studios.”

Jesse chuckled. “You’re rambling.”

“Sorry,” I breathed while scratching my cheek. “I’m just nervous that this might be too good to be true. This place is perfect and if we don’t get it, I don't know how long it will be until the next one comes up; if it does.”

“Stop thinking of all the negatives and for once, think of all the positives. Like how you get the master suite.”

I snapped my head towards Michael. “What?”

The three of them nodded and Jolly spoke again. “It’s only fair, Noah. The three of us don’t need this big of a bedroom and knowing that Y/N will be over a lot, it’s only fair the two of you get as much privacy as you can get.”

“Also helps that this room is on the main floor while ours are upstairs,” Michael joked.

I playfully pushed him. “Thank you guys. I love the optimism but we don’t even know if our offer was accepted.”

We’d been back home for the last few days, finally finishing recording the new album, and while touring a couple more houses, we fell in love with the one we were currently standing in and immediately put in an offer.

Enough bedrooms, a large window in the living room for Salem to lay in front of, a decent-sized backyard with a jacuzzi, and the art studio that was right next to the master suite. It had a large window that showcased the small creek that ran along the side of the house. And hardwood floors throughout the entire house.

Not to mention, the privacy of the neighborhood was a huge bonus.

A soft knock sounded on the door of the empty master bedroom and we all turned toward Jackie who had a wide smile on her face.

“Great news! The sellers accepted your offer. Now while we do have to wait for the bank to accept the sale, I want you guys to remain optimistic. Typically this kind of thing takes a while so I don’t want you to stress out.”

Jolly gave me a sideway glance, one that I ignored. I was too fucking over the moon with excitement. Our offer was accepted and we were one step closer to finishing this part of our new phase.

Three weeks later, we closed on the house and were moving in with hopeful hearts. The guys stayed true to their words and allowed me to take the master suite, which currently seemed bare with my desk and computer setup, and the long table on the opposite wall as it peered out to the window, the flowing creek the only thing Y/N would see whenever she sat there. I decided that a new bedroom called for a new bed; a bigger one. It would be delivered in a few days along with a few other things I ordered. I bothered Chase and Malcolm with ideas for days.

Me: Do you guys think this table will be big enough?

I sent a link to yet another vanity I found online.

Chase: Noah, this is the 4th vanity table you’ve shown us.

Me: And?

Malcolm, dude you have to relax. It’s perfect. Way better than the small suitcase she uses to hold every one of her products now.

Me: well with me, she’ll never have to.

Later on that day, I received another text from Chase.

Chase: Noah, beware of paint all over the carpet.

I snorted as I typed out my response.

Me: Already taken care of.

Chase: Good. Because even though I love her to the ends of the earth, paint is a fucking bitch to clean.

Me: Here’s the address. I would love it if you and Malcolm come check it out.

Chase: Definitely. Let's plan for Friday?

Jesse and Michael gave me shit any chance they could get about obsessing over a vanity table.

“Y/N does her own makeup. No one else does it for her so I need a spot for all of it.” I said while we browsed Ikea the other day.

Michael tossed a new blanket into the cart I’d been pushing. “Damn, you really got it all figured out. I never thought I’d hear you ever say you need space for a vanity.”

“That was before I ever cared. I just wanna make sure she has her own space. That’s all,” I defended while setting a cat tree into the cart.

Jessed raised a brow, one I shrugged at. “Salem needs one for our place.”

“I bet you cried your eyes out when you dropped it back off at Y/N’s place this morning.”

Rolling my eyes, I ignored Micahel and continued down the long aisle of kitchen ware.

“It’s going to all work out, Noah. This is a lot, especially when you’ve never done this before. I mean, we’ve been a fraternity for a long time if you think about it,” Jolly said.

“Yeah, I know. But you guys know me, I’m in my head over the smallest things. This is a big deal. I don’t want to give her a reason to say no.”

Jesse rubbed my shoulder. “She won't, Noah. It’s going to be awesome so don’t stress about this.”

Letting out a deep breath, I set aside the screwdriver and paused building the new end table to run my palms over my white star shorts. I’ve talked to everyone in my life about this but neither of them gave me peace of mind the way I needed.

Clearing my throat, I spoke out to the space in front of me.

“Uh, hey Keaton,” I now rubbed the fresh tattoo on the sides of both of my hands, tracing each letter. “It’s been a while since we’ve had one of our talks but life has been a bit chaotic.”

“We moved into a new house. Orie moved in with his girlfriend and we decided the rest of us needed a new place ourselves. A fresh start, if you will. A new phase for all of us.”

I sniffled but kept the tears at bay. “Y/N and I are, well I don’t know what I would call us but we admitted our feelings for each other. We say I love you every night but the unknown of what we are still lingers and it fucking scares me to death not knowing if she’ll stay. I’m trying to do everything right to make sure she does. I can’t handle her walking out of my life again, Keaton.”

Now running my hand through my hair, my bottom lip wavered. “I need a sign from you, man. I need to know that Y/N will stay. That all of this won’t be too much for her.”

The eerie silence of the house was all I heard until seconds later, the Alexa device on my desk began playing a song; one I never expected but ended up smirking at. Memory Fiction by Erra echoed throughout my room and I shook my head with a laugh.

“You would choose one of Jesse’s songs,” I wiped away a few stray tears. “Thanks, Keaton, I know we’ll talk soon.”

I sat on the floor, letting Jesse’s words resonate deep within my bones. Y/N and I were reaching out towards the next phase of ourselves, autonomous from what connected us.

When the song ended, the silence didn’t last long because there was a knock on my open bedroom door and when I hastily stood, I gave Chase and Malcolm a soft smile.

“Hey, I’m glad you guys could make it,” I waved them inside.

“Jesse just gave us the tour. It’s a nice place. I’m glad it worked out,” Chase said.

I nodded. “Thanks. I wanted to make sure you guys gave me the okay. I don’t plan on rushing into things with Y/N. She can stay here as many nights as she wants. I just want to make sure she has a home here with her and Salem.”

I motioned to the table. “Do you think this is big enough for all of her products? I want her to have space for it and all her skull nick-nacks and Valak Funko pop. She’d get that demon tattooed on her if she could”.

Chase agreed with a boisterous laugh.

I pointed to another window that I placed another table in front of moments before they arrived; this one smaller than the vanity.

“I thought that she could use this space for her plants. I know she’s obsessed with them. Honestly, she could turn our room into a fucking jungle for all I care. As long as she was here with me.”

Malcolm had a hand over his heart. “Noah, this is great. Y/N loves you. You could have bought a studio apartment and she’d still make it a home.”

I agreed with a slight curl of my lips. “Because she’d be there.”

NOAH

I blew out a nervous breath as I stepped through the front door, clutching the bag tightly in my hand and when three sets of eyes landed on me, I halted in place. I was unsure of how they would react to this since I didn’t tell them where I was going when I left a few hours ago.

Jesse was the first to speak with an approving nod. “Well hello, my friend.”

“Don’t start,” I pointed a finger at him.

Jolly stopped as he carried the high stack of towels, ready to put them away in the linen closet upstairs when he took in the sight of me. “Woah, I didn’t think you’d go through with it.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I got tired of not seeing my neck. It was still suffocating.”

“It’s different seeing you like this,” Michael said as he lounged on our new couch.

The couch I spent years yearning for and imagining what it would look like.

“You think Y/N will still find me attractive like this?” I asked while shifting on my feet.

Jesse's eyes widened. “Are you dumb?”

“No, I’m just a little worried she won’t find this appealing. I mean, I love it. But you know, I don’t want her to be repulsed.”

“Noah, stop thinking that,” Jolly spoke. “Stop worrying, you look sharp and fierce. It's a great look. And last I heard she gave herself a little makeover too.”

My eyes snapped up from the floor towards him. “She did?”

“Yeah,” he smiled before heading up the stairs.

I couldn't stop the smirk that spread to my face. “Damn, maybe we can be all mysterious and unveil at the release party. She’s going, right?”

“Nick said he texted her about it weeks ago. Y/N will be there,” Jesse patted my shoulder for reassurance.

Now in the solace of my bedroom, I stood in front of the full-length mirror that was in the walk-in closet and admired how I looked. St. Patrick by Hollow Souls played from the Alexa speaker and I nodded my head along to it, amping me up on how the final look came together.

“And I’m not spiritual but please stay. ‘Cause I think you’re a saint and I think you’re an angel,” I sang along quietly.

I took a step back from the mirror but something felt wrong; off. I was missing something.

Opening the small drawer in front of me, I rummaged through the small variety of jewelry, knowing that once Y/N had her own pieces in here it would become filled until I found the two pieces I was looking for.

The silver chain and bracelet shined under the light overhead and I ran a finger over it, remembering the day I gave Y/N her matching set.

She opened the box as a gasp left her lips, the silver necklace and matching bracelet shone under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to her. She wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.

With wet eyes, Y/N gazed up at me as I nervously fiddled with my rosary. "Do you like it?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into her embrace, burying her face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."

With the bracelet and necklace now clasped onto my body, my look was complete. My fingers worked through the curtain-style bangs. The long fringe was paired with a middle part, a 3-guard short side.

“The Levi Ackerman haircut. I wonder if anybody will catch the reference. I’m a nerd,” I chuckled at myself in the mirror

Earlier, I left the Harley Davidson shop with a new outlook; the oil-slick leather gloves in the bag. I was excited for the new era of myself and Bad Omens. I was ready for the new phase for what it was, what I’ve conjured in my mind.

The power of visual aesthetics to convey emotions and enhance the overall experience of the music. The glove serves as a physical extension of my artistic vision, adding an element of mystique and intrigue to this persona I've created. Allowing me to create a distinct identity and connect with the audience on a deeper level.

I stared at myself in the mirror taking it all in. Completely engulfed in the Yohji Yamamoto coat and cargo pants. I spritzed Sauvage, opening the turtleneck I was wearing for the liquid to drip down my chest. It was snug in some areas, but all the same showed off the physicality of my dedication, as of recent.

I look good.

I reached into the coat pocket for my phone eager to show Y/N but stopped myself from taking the photo.

No, leave it as a surprise.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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slut4thebroken · 4 months

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Glory hole hcs

Idk don’t ask lmao. I just randomly got an idea

(Jackson Rippner, Jonathan Crane, Lenny Miller, Neil Lewis, Raymond Leon, Robert Capa, Robert Fischer, Tommy Shelby)

TW: Misogyny. Lots of it lol

Jackson Rippner - Between jobs, when he doesn’t have the time or energy to seduce a woman and take her home or hire a hooker, he’d just go to a glory hole instead. Sometimes all he wants is just a tight, warm cunt to fuck away all his stress with. He’d be really agressive about it too, knowing she pretty much has no choice but to take it. If he’s fucking a particularly good cunt, sometimes he’ll imagine waiting outside for her to leave, then dragging her into an alley or his car to fuck her again— for free this time. Those thoughts always had him coming just a little too fast though.

Jonathan Crane - With his antisocial and narcissistic personality, he doesn’t get very many bitches. He also thinks that hookers are just a little too intimidating for his liking. But glory holes are easy— familiar. It’s like fucking a fleshlight, but warm and sometimes able to squeeze his cock tight enough to almost force him out. Plus it’s easier to let out stress by pounding something with half of his body, rather than using his hand, no matter how hard or fast he strokes it. It’s just different.

Lenny Miller - Honestly he probably went to one looking into a lead for a case and couldn’t stop thinking about it until eventually he decided to go back, not on the clock this time. He understands the appeal almost instantly, but… he prefers being able to play with a pair of tits, leave marks all over out of unwarranted possession, and see the look on her face when she falls apart on his cock. He likes having power over a person rather than a hole.

Neil Lewis - Neil would go simply because he’s never seen anything like that in real life, only in porn. He’d get there and feel like his heart was about to beat out of his chest, but he’d go in anyway. Honestly, he’d probably come in like… less than five minutes. But these kinds of things are a little expensive so he’d endure the overstimulation just to get his moneys worth. But he probably gets bored of it pretty quickly because it’s basically just how he gets off at home, only he’s not even watching porn, he’s just fucking something.

Raymond Leon - He doesn’t have time for relationships and for some reason he thinks he’s above hookers. So during a particulary stressful case, he’ll blow off steam by fucking a cunt. It’s quick and easy which is why he likes it so much. Another thing he likes about it is the fact that it’s emotionless. Not that hookers aren’t, but technically lust is an emotion. He doesn’t have to feel anything or show any emotions (even just lust) when he gets off like this, all he has to focus on is coming.

Robert Capa - He gives off the vibe of either being very very single, or in a long term, loving, committed relationship. When he’s single though, he’s awkward, doesn’t really like most people, thinks he’s above them. That kind of attitude makes it pretty hard to get hoes. And he seems like the type where any sex is intimate and vulnerable to him, even with a hooker. The act in and of itself is what’s intimate and that makes it harder for him to just fuck anyone since he doesn’t like showing any vulnerability at all. But at least if he goes to a glory hole, he’s not fucking a woman, he’s fucking a cunt.

Robert Fischer - Being next in line to inherit a billion dollar company, people know who he is. Obviously not everyone, but enough. Which is why he likes glory holes. He gets to fuck something and not have to worry about his reputation potentially going to shit by hiring the wrong hooker. When he gets the opportunity, he’ll fuck one of the many girls who throw themselves at him. But if he’s worked up and overwhelmed or too tired to give a shit about making a girl come, he finds his way back to glory holes.

Thomas Shelby - He probably has a specific one he goes to every time. And in that one, he fucks one girl (his favorite) every time. He doesn’t go often because he has enough cunts throwing themselves at him daily, but when he wants a cunt who’s almost too tight and doesn’t moan in an exaggerated way that borders on annoying, that’s when he’ll go to a glory hole. Even though she’s just a sleeve for his cock, he likes teasing her, edging both of them together just to torture her a little bit and drag it out for himself.

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cloveroctobers · 4 months

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FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

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