#or if it's because he never considered himself alive in a human sense in the first place

[fedyaplushie]

an analysis of the fyodor breakdown scene—the truth, an act, or something else entirely?

warning: !!minor spoilers for the brothers karamazov!!

To believe Fyodor is an honest person is the way of the fool, but to mistrust every word he says and view them as lies will not put you in a better position, either.

By dismissing every dialogue of his, you are still, in a way, putting trust in him. Putting trust in the fact that he is a liar. And thus, you may miss out on important, vital information.

He could be hiding some specks of truth in his words, in his actions, and you will never know, because you already marked him as a liar. Yet he is most definitely not a truthful person, either.

So, it is hard to know... when is he lying? When is he telling the truth? When is he leading us to believe that a truth he told is actually a lie?

With Fyodor, it is very difficult to tell, and one of the moments that proves this the most, is the infamous Fyodor breakdown scene from Chapter 108.

Many people have already discussed the Fyodor breakdown scene which has led the fandom to two major conclusions: either he is genuinely being plagued by a second personality (be it via possession or otherwise), or the entire scene was an act, as Fyodor himself claimed.

I myself have thought about this scene many times, and even wrote up my own thread, in which I discussed the possibility of Fyodor suffering from a real mental breakdown after seeing the note, and then quickly coming up with a bullshit lie of having a second personality to throw Sigma off-guard and claim the upper hand, which he was in need of after showing such a vulnerable side to one of his enemies.

As of right now, I have not yet discarded that possibility, for I want to remain open-minded, no matter what curveballs Asagiri may throw at us. However, I wanted to consider other options, too. We always talk about whether Fyodor was acting or not, but what if there's more to it?

Let's break down the scene:

Sigma shows Fyodor, while holding him at gunpoint, the note he found on the ground of the Meursault hallways, the one which has the Russian translation for "help me" written on it.

Fyodor inspects the note before suddenly scooting back and screaming, leaving Sigma confused. He keeps muttering "help me" to himself, continues screaming, until he goes silent, waits a few short seconds, quickly shoots up and asks Sigma, "What year is it?"

The inclusion of that question has definitely rung alarm bells after recent chapters have revealed that Fyodor may or may not be much older than any other mortal human being—it is at least fair to assume that he was somehow alive centuries ago, if his memories are to be believed.

However, I'm much more interested in what happens next...

He speaks of a demon. The demon that is his ability, the ability that took over him due to his own weakness. He switches from using "him," to refer to the demon, to "I," implying that the demon is a part of himself.

Some have taken this to mean that he is possessed in one way or another (especially with the most recent chapters), but I would like to offer up a different interpretation.

Let's assume the entire scenario was genuine... I am not able to answer who may have written the note or why a Russian "help me" would be enough to trigger Fyodor, but let's assume it did, and his breakdown was real.

My thought was, what if this entire spiel with Sigma came as a result of his own mind?

He has allegedly lived for a long time, seeing himself as a servant of God in his quest to bring humanity to the promised land. Living so long, following such a goal so strictly, would have a toll on one's mind, no? We don't know what Fyodor was like before his ability and/or his immortality manifested, so who's to say that serving such an abstract goal for such a long time wouldn't cause one to have a distorted sense of self?

Moments ago, he was screaming and curled up on the floor. It wouldn't be unlikely that such a moment of mental vulnerability would cause his more distorted sense of self to show itself. Especially when one considers that he asked Sigma what year it was the moment he calmed down, he was clearly quite confused over his surroundings.

So, my conclusion was, that the one he calls a "demon" could simply be referring to the parts of himself that his inner self, deeply buried within, despises, or, maybe more accurately, fears the most. Someone whom he can mentally shift the blame onto, speaking of the demon and his ability as if they were one and the same. If the manifestation of his ability (which many believe is what is causing him to be potentially immortal) was what originally caused him to think that he must have been chosen to fulfill some grand quest, then that makes it all the more likely.

In short, with this interpretation, I do not believe he is possessed. I don't think he has a second personality, either. Both the demon/ability and Fyodor himself are parts of Fyodor, with this scene giving insight into what he truly thinks of himself—a feeble being who was easily overcome by his weakness, and the temptation of his ability and viewing himself as a servant of God.

And then there's the part with the Sword Kladenets (if we're to assume that he was telling the truth about their holiness and that the part about it being a simple guard's knife was a lie), where he asks Sigma to kill him, which is a whole other aspect to consider, if my interpretation is correct...

The one thing that throws me off is how quickly Fyodor came back from all of this, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he could easily overcome such vulnerable states and act as if it was nothing. We're talking about Fyodor, after all.

Now, I've held this interpretation for quite a few months now, yet I waited until now to bring it up. Why? Simply because my interpretation had no basis. There was, as far as I was aware, nothing to back my thoughts up, and I didn't want to talk about something I myself barely believed in. This interpretation was solely an idea, maybe a gut feeling, but it was never solid in any way.

Until very recently, when a friend of mine texted me to talk about a scene in The Brothers Karamazov... the scene where Ivan Karamazov speaks with the devil. And the scene which Asagiri himself has stated served as an inspiration for Fyodor's character.

Yet that scene is not Ivan's first encounter with the 'devil.' He strongly implies throughout the book that he has had multiple encounters with "him," yet it is not until that very scene—the scene Asagiri which was referring to—until we, as readers, are able to experience it ourselves, through his—Ivan's—lens.

In this scene, Ivan experiences a hallucination as a result of his illness (delirium tremens)... a hallucination where the devil is speaking with him.

The "devil"—whom Ivan acknowledges as an embodiment of his own "thoughts and emotions, though only those that are most loathsome and stupid."

Sound familiar?

Well, I could go on and on about the "Ivan speaks with the Devil" scene and how well it fits into my interpretation of Fyodor's breakdown scene, but this analysis is already quite long, so I may save that for another day...

But I believe I have reached my point—that my interpretation, which I developed solely through gut feeling and creativity, sounds eerily similar to what Ivan experiences, especially in the scene we are privy to... the scene which, once again, has been confirmed by Asagiri to have served as an inspiration for Fyodor's character.

Yet, despite this, I am not entirely convinced, though definitely more than I was before.

While my interpretation may be correct, it's also possible that Asagiri is pulling an UNO Reverse Card and that, while the BSD scene truly could be inspired by the TBK scene, Fyodor was only using the mention of a demon as a lie to throw Sigma off, while in Ivan's case, it was 'genuine.' It is also entirely possible that Fyodor did have a talk with the devil—a.k.a. the part of himself he loathes the most—at some point in the past, and used that experience to make his lie more convincing. Who knows, maybe I'm looking into this way too much and those two scenes have no relation to each other, whatsoever!

"People are quick to believe they are thinking of their own free will. [...] we trust that everything we discover is valuable. We're loath to believe that our thoughts are being controlled."

And thus, we start looking for meaning in panels and dialogue that are either red herrings or don't even have any meaning at all... I am wary of that. Which is why I have elected to stay open-minded, instead of believing in only "one true theory."

But I still want to have some faith in my interpretation and that is why I am sharing it with you. Even if I end up being wrong, I am happy to be able to share my thoughts!

(Forgive me, if I am not the first one to share this idea. Due to spoiler warnings, I have avoided any Fyodor analysis posts, that contain TBK in any way, therefore, I am unaware of the content of said posts.)

Thank you so much for reading this far! I appreciate it!

Shout-out to @/xKolyaMxxx (Twitter) for giving me the motivation to write this analysis by sharing and discussing a similar idea with me!

Huge thanks to @creantzy for making me aware of the content of the TBK scene, for sharing photos of the English translation of the book, and, most of all, for discussing this topic with me, and helping me out a lot!

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor dostoyevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #the brothers karamazov #ivan karamazov #long post

[blindmagdalena]

Homelander POV with “looking at wedding ring in finger”

from this prompt list. just some rambling fluffy homelander x reader feelings. 🖤

To a man with enough strength to juggle approximately a dozen Mack trucks with minimal effort, there are few things in this world that he would earnestly consider heavy. Except for, it turns out, a single gold band around his ring finger. He's barely left it alone since he put it on, always either twisting it on his finger or flexing his gloved hand just to feel it shift, hyperaware of the weight of it.

Not because it's uncomfortable. It's new, certainly, and it's taking a little getting used to, but not because he doesn't like it. He just can't quite believe it's real. That you're real.

Before the ring, Homelander would scrounge for a variety of ways to remind himself of the reality of you. He would spray your perfume under the collar of his suit or carry any kind of tactile article of yours with him. Something tangible to keep him grounded when he is so characteristically prone to flying, both literally and off the handle.

Now, all he need do is tighten his fingers together, or press his thumb to the band. Even through his gloves, he can feel the metallic press of his wedding ring. It soothes him, gives him something easy and inconspicuous to fidget with, and without fail it makes him think of you.

A comfort in and of itself.

It feels good to call himself a married man during interviews. He can wield it like a shield or a blade, depending on the context. Your existence alone is enough to protect him, affording him a sense of normalcy that he's lacked for the majority of his life.

His experiences in this world have been so utterly alien, with every human part of him fabricated by Vought.

Not you. You're genuine, you're real, and you're entirely his.

No more sickly sweet stories of a family that never existed. No more gritting his teeth through recollections of baseball games he never played. He no longer needs to read scripts to appear human to the world. When he talks about you, it's like he comes alive on screen for the first time in his life. You protect him without ever having to even be there.

And yet you are there. Any time he glances off camera, or off stage, he can almost always find you in an instant. You never fail to smile, to wave, to be present when he looks for you. It's not just the heat of his skin that gives the ring warmth, it's the love you leave in it when you kiss it every morning before he puts his gloves on.

It's you. The warmth is you.

"Heyyy," you coo as he walks backstage, opening your arms to him. He immediately scoops you up into an embrace, lifting you clean off of your feet and spinning you in a little circle, startling a giddy laugh out of you.

"Whoa, what's all this about?" You ask, arms looped around his neck, a slightly bewildered edge to your smile.

"You saved me out there," he says. He can tell the depth in his tone catches you off guard by the way your eyes widen, expression faltering. "You did. Y'always do. Thanks."

He knows by the lingering confusion in your gaze that you're not sure what he means, but that's fine. You'll understand. He'll thank you properly when it's just the two of you, and he can write his gratitude on every inch of your body with his lips, his tongue, his fingers.

"I love you," he says, kissing you with such intensity, the two of you forget for a moment that you aren't alone.

"I love you, too," you say breathlessly, blinking yourself back to reality, thoroughly flustered. "Phew, wow, alright. Good, so..."

You glance around, taking note of the number of people trying their best not to stare while very clearly needing Homelander's attention, but all he can focus on is you.

"You better get back to work," you say, trying to put some authority in your voice.

He grins, setting you back on your feet. "S'pose I better," he agrees, though his hands linger on your waist a little longer. "Wait for me?"

"Always," you vow, the glint of your own ring catching the light as you touch his face. You give his cheek a playful little smack. "Now go. Before you ruin both our makeup," you chide, smiling as he slips off, casting one last look back at you.

He squeezes his hand into a fist, feeling that ring firm between his fingers.

It brings him such peace that even when you're not with him, you're never really gone from him.

#homelander x reader #homelander #homelander x you #ask and you shall receive #FLUFF #big time fluff #two fics in one night??? who am i #my writing

[jennifer-jeong]

Hi there :)

Can I request some headcanons about Xiao and Wanderer (separated) with an old s/o? Like, they've been together for decades, but reader is a mortal and they're not, therefore they don't have many years left to live now that they're in their 80s. I would like something sweet but feel free to add some angst in it.

HI ANON TY FOR YOUR ASK! Ok so I’m literally goiNG TO CRY because I actually purposely make my own self insert immortal because this makes me so depressed but dw I will make it a fluffy happy ending. I would be unwell if I didn’t make it a happy ending LMAO

[Fluff + Slight Angst] [Xiao/Wanderer x Reader] Mortals

CONTENT

Fluff, some angst, gender neutral reader, HAPPY ENDING WOO, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

XIAO has been alive for longer than he can genuinely remember and most of it was spent suffering alone. He’s scarred so deeply that even until the end of time, the marks will never fade. He can’t get rid of his past but you came along and he realized he could at least start to heal from the centuries of pain. Your time together has been the best years of his life and it makes his heart ache to think that you’re about to come and go before even living for a fraction of his life. He’s watched your mortal body age but he still thinks knows that you’re the prettiest thing he’ll ever encounter. Xiao has always treated his time with you like it was limited, even when you were younger. He’s been getting desperate recently though, your body has slowed down, and you’re well into your elderly years. He’s always wanted to ask you if he and Zhongli could help you with this, return you to your younger body and help you live forever. But, he thought it would hurt you. Immortality is more of a curse than a blessing and he of all people should know that. But as your health deteriorated, he started to plan how to ask you without pressuring you. Honestly, when he finally brought it up, you giggled at him and said “I didn’t even know you could do that.” He blinked as he realized how much time had passed and how he really had been avoiding it all these years. It was just somewhat unfathomable to a 2000 year old being that all these fun years with you had already been a few decades. He explains why he felt bad suggesting it, but you quickly comforted him and thanked him for even bringing it up. You said you needed some time to think about it but you knew that you wanted more time with your beloved. It’s near impossible for most people to find their soulmate and so since you found yours, you wanted to somewhat selfishly hold onto him as long as you could. Of course he secretly felt the same though. Your time together might end soon as the traveller discovers the underlying mysteries of the world or it could end millenia later. Either way, you knew you’d be able to face it, together.

WANDERER has been through so much over the past few centuries of his life and he’s believed his emotions have been so useless to him as he isn’t even human. His suffering, pain, and desire never made sense because he always lacked a heart. He thought he’d be doomed to this forever until he met you. You breathed life into his mechanical body and into his new anemo vision heart. He felt truly alive with you, it was like he was freshly born as a real man when you came into his life. He took a while to properly warm up to you before he could express himself in a healthy way but you always had the patience for him. The problem was that he couldn’t have the same patience, not because he wasn’t a healthy partner, but because your life had a definite end. He was impatient because he couldn’t lose you and he didn’t know what else to do. He consulted Nahida/his mom about it and she suggested using his body as a template to create a body for you. One that would last forever with him. He was immediately overjoyed to hear that there was hope and he almost forgot to consider that you might not want to live forever. He probably tries to gauge if you would want to by prodding you with small questions but you see straight through him. You know something’s up, and you tell him that you know there’s enough trust between you two for either of you to speak freely. So he does. You take some time to debate it and decide to do it because even if at some point you can’t take it, you’d talk to him about it and come up with a solution (but you doubt that'll come up <3). There was a lot going on in Teyvat at the moment but just knowing that you’d have more time gave both of you peace. He was worried that afterwards you might not be the same, and that you might become emotionally hollow. But you knew that with him there, you’d never feel any less alive. Even without your physical body, you both had your souls, and it was all you’d ever need.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin angst #genshin impact fluff #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #xiao angst #wanderer x reader #wanderer fluff #wanderer angst #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #my asks <3 #j's silly ramblings

[aeithalian]

Rick. Buddy. Amigo. Explain something to me. Real quick, I promise.

[The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero, Chapter 4]

Good genetic package, Rick/Apollo? Are you sure about that?

Listen.

Estelle's physical description *clap* makes *clap* no *clap* sense. Why on earth does one of the only fully human characters in this series have to have unique and weird physical traits? Also, it makes no sense in the larger scope of Rick's writing style to have chosen this unless he had some sort of larger intention behind it. Not to mention the theories by fans haven't really done much to fully flesh out any perceivable reason as to why this might be:

Poseidon blessed Sally when she was pregnant - By far, this is the most believable to me, but it's still eh, because this feels very weird and I don't get the vibes from Poseidon that he would have done so to the extent that it shows up in Estelle's physical traits. Also if that were true, it doesn't make sense for Rick to just fully drop it in the story without the intention to flesh it out further, because to my knowledge he doesn't have plans for another novel that takes place after ToA.

Paul isn't Estelle's father - Firstly, this is out of character for Sally, and this doesn't fully justify why Estelle has Percy's eyes. PLUS, salt-and-pepper hair still wouldn't be natural for a newborn

Paul is Poseidon in disguise - This explains her traits the best, but Paul's character is so much more satisfying if this isn't true. It's also total bullshit.

Enter me. I have a theory. Yay. But first, we must discuss.

Firstly, I want to talk about her eyes. Going back to the theories, and based on my fair amount of knowledge of genetics (clarification: I write this as I procrastinate studying for my final genetics exam), the eyes are mostly interesting because Apollo specifies that they are immediately similar Percy's. The thing about eye genetics, though, is that they are what we consider to be 'complex traits', meaning that they are influenced by the interactions of multiple genes from both parents. What I mean to point out here is that Sally could definitely have the genes to produce two children with 'sea-green' eyes, considering her canonical eye color is blue. We don't know what Paul's eye color is, which makes my job a whole lot easier because I can assume that it doesn't directly contradict the possibility that Sally just has really strong eye genes (?). ALSO, who's to say that Poseidon didn't just change his eye color to match Percy's when he was born? Ah, yes, the perks of having a shapeshifting dad who seemingly loves you and your eye color a lot (but is still absentee, WHOOPS).

But what I actually found the most interesting about Estelle was her hair color. More specifically, the fact that Apollo says he's never seen an infant with that color hair. And we know Apollo is somewhat of an unreliable narrator (although this rarely affects his descriptions of people other than himself, and has also mostly evolved into a more honest narration since the end of book 3), but I believe we're supposed to trust this dude who just so happens to have been alive for over four millennia. Based on Apollo's previous descriptions of his own powers (see his conversations with Percy in TTC, when he pulls a Mufasa and basically admits to seeing everything the light touches), we know that Apollo knows and has seen a lot of stuff. So, how is this the first time he's seemingly witnessed this type of hair mutation?

I did some research, as one does. To me, it seems as if Estelle has what's called Griscelli syndrome, which is a type of rare autosomal genetic mutation that typically results in phenotypic hypopigmentation of the skin and hair. (It can also result in neurological disorders and immunodeficiency, based on the type, but I digress.) It's also pretty rare, considering both parents have to be carriers, and even then the child still has a one in four chance of being affected. Current statistics from the NIH say that Griscelli syndrome currently presents in less than 1000 Americans, and is rapidly fatal in 1-4 years without aggressive treatment.

That sad note aside, it's weird to me that the way Rick wrote Estelle's physical description makes it seem as if Apollo had never seen anything similar. I feel like a god of both medicine and knowledge would probably be a bit more up to speed with rare genetic disorders, especially because he's so old. The only explanations are that Apollo, in his mortal state, can't make a diagnosis, OR what he's seeing isn't actually something he can diagnose.

FURTHERMORE, from the same chapter, Apollo says something that muddies the waters even further:

It doesn't make sense that Apollo thinks that Zeus would take such an interest in Estelle. Her nature alone doesn't make me think that the king of the gods would take a sudden interest in a literal newborn, regardless of how much Apollo loves her (and honestly, I don't blame him).

What I think? Rick pulled the strings just tight enough that he has a very interesting plot point to go off of if he ever decides to pick up the pen again and write a new book.

What I think? Estelle doesn't have Griscelli syndrome, she is in much more danger than anyone realizes, and Apollo's subconscious put this together from the second he saw her.

Actually, let's rewind. I'm in the process of writing a fic (stay tuned!) and I had a random thought: do the Greeks have an apocalypse story? You know, like Ragnarök in the Norse mythos, and the Revelation stories in the Bible.

The answer? They don't. I guess that's what you get when the Greco-Roman gods are fully immortal and literally can't be killed.

That didn't stop the rabbit hole, though, and what I found was actually very interesting and I couldn't believe what I was reading.

I give you: Hesiod. More specifically, his poem Works and Days. More more specifically, his 'ages of man'. More more more specifically, the iron age.

For context, Hesiod was an ancient Greek poet who lived in the 8th century BC, and was walking right along with Homer in terms of fame at the time. The poem Works and Days is actually more of a really long Facebook post where he complains about anything and everything, especially in his section on the ages of man.

In summary, Hesiod wrote about what he perceived to be the five stages of human life since the creation of mankind by Zeus' hand:

gold: perfect in every way, pious, and blessed by the gods

silver: real bitches, the ugly middle child, so Zeus killed them

bronze: were so violent they wiped each other out

heroic: golden child, contained the heroes of the Greek mythos

iron: middle-aged men still living in their mom's basement

Hesiod wrote his poem during what he perceived to be the Iron age (it's really just him complaining about being born in the wrong generation), but he ends up listing a lot of qualities: 'everyone works too hard, the gods hate us, nobody respects family values anymore', blah blah blah.

I know what you're thinking: Tia, what does this have to do with an apocalypse?

Well, dear reader, bear with me. You see, every time Zeus didn't like an age of mankind, or it became too violent, or it generally wasn't pious enough, Zeus wouldn't hesitate to destroy that race and start over. Basically, an apocalypse.

So, you may ask a new question: what is the criteria for Zeus to destroy the Iron age? And, assuming that this is the age we're currently in, what would it take for Zeus to destroy everything our beloved Riordanverse characters know and love?

My friend, that is where Estelle comes in. Yes, a baby.

Take this excerpt regarding the Iron age:

"And Zeus will destroy this race of mortal men also when they come to have grey hair on the temples at their birth."

I think you see where I'm going with this.

My theory? Estelle, in her unique position as a bridge between not just the mortals and the demigods (eg. her relationship with Percy), but also the mortals and the gods (eg. her great impression on Apollo), is a living, breathing prophecy. A prophecy that the end is nigh for this current age of mankind.

Furthermore, I also think that Apollo made this connection, somewhere in the back of his mind, the very second he realized that her hair was entirely unique. According to Hesiod (who Apollo also mentions later in the book, so we know he knows who Hesiod is), the day that babies are born with gray hair (or, salt-and-pepper for the sake of the theory) is the second Zeus basically get the go-ahead to commit genocide.

This also brilliantly explains why Apollo suddenly, and seemingly without reason, makes to keep Estelle's existence a secret from Zeus, because he knows that it might be the easiest way to get everyone he knows and loves killed by his own father for "the greater good" as I'm sure Zeus will put it. Plus, in his mortal state, Rick didn't have to explain why Apollo did what he did, since Apollo's been having memory issues since the beginning of the series: why would he remember one line from a poem written almost three thousand years ago?

Frankly, Zeus doesn't care about mortals: the only reason he really cares about anyone is if they have enough power to threaten his own, or if they have some sort of power he can benefit from. This, certainly, falls under the category of the latter. Wouldn't you want a chance to remake humanity into the perfect image that it used to be? You would, if you hadn't gone through a five book long grow-a-conscience speedrun like our lovely Apollo over here.

Fortunately for Rick, this is such an outrageous theory that if it never comes to fruition, I won't be surprised. If he ever writes something similar, though, know I called it first.

EDIT: here's the fic i mentioned i was (am) writing

EDIT: a masterlist of my other metas

#riordanverse #trials of apollo #apollogists #also that fic i mentioned will definitely be including this #estelle blofis #theory #fan theory #also if you were wondering my genetics exam went well thanks for asking

[suzukiblu]

Day twenty-two of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon.

Kon makes the softest little sound Tim has ever heard and kisses him back. His mouth doesn’t give like it should–at least, not like a fully human mouth would–but Tim doesn’t know if that’s the TTK or the Kryptonian physiology coming in. He really can’t figure it out right now, though, because his every single synapse is busy being obsessed with Kon in close and warm and kissing him so softly, and maybe that’s just because he has super-strength and doesn’t want to bruise the civilian but it feels . . . 

Tim doesn’t even have a sentence there. It just feels. 

Kon’s lips aren’t any more chapped than his hands were. His mouth feels like velvet over steel, like satin wrapped around a weapon, and the dichotomy is really, really doing it for Tim. 

So is literally everything about Kon right now, of course. 

Tim, clinically, wonders what TTK feels like. If that’s the soft velvet-satin sensation he’s feeling, or . . . 

Maybe Kon let his TTK down for this, he thinks, and then nearly burns alive at the thought. Maybe Kon trusted him enough to kiss him without it in the way, though: his strongest defense, his best trick, that whole sense. 

Kon leans back just enough to separate their lips, and Tim exhales raggedly. He thinks he can feel the shape of Kon’s smile against his mouth when the other takes a breath of his own. 

“You can take some pictures, if you want,” Kon murmurs lowly. Tim, again, nearly falls off the bench. “If you’re into that.” 

Tim actually does not even have the words for how “into that” he is, honestly. Like not even slightly. Not even a little bit. 

“Maybe a couple,” he manages. His voice is a little strangled, but more or less coherent, so he figures that’s–fine. Yeah. It’s fine. 

“Cool,” Kon hums, then presses one last chaste little peck to his lips before straightening back up and flicking open the button of his pants. “But close your eyes for a sec first, okay?” 

Tim considers spontaneously combusting, but just puts a hand over his eyes instead. Sure. Why not. He’s already doomed; might as well really commit. 

He hears Kon’s zipper go down. 

Christ on a cracker, he thinks only a little bit hysterically. This was not in any way whatsoever in the plan. Not even a little bit was this in the plan. Ever. At all. Ever. 

He should stop him. He doesn't even know what Kon's doing, but he should definitely stop him.

He does not. 

He hears Kon moving. Hears fabric rustle. Feels a lot of things, including the terrible and mortifying realization that actually the shopping bag currently in his lap is probably doing jack all for him because Kon has TTK and therefore doesn't actually need to see him to know that he's getting–

Never mind. 

Fuck, Tim is in so far over his head. He's definitely in over his head. He is in over his head and wearing cement shoes and the water level is rising. 

“Hey,” Kon says after a few more moments of rustling fabric, and Tim can hear the grin in the bastard's voice as clear as he heard that goddamn zipper. “Look what I found.” 

Tim opens his eyes with thrilled dread and horrified delight, bracing himself for the worst. 

It turns out to be worse than that. 

“Fuck,” Tim says, staring dumbfounded at Kon, whose cheeks are flushed and mouth is smirking and pose is casually merciless and . . . and oh fucking hell. 

Tim has no idea when, where, or how, but Kon has somehow dug up the tiniest pair of denim shorts he has ever seen in real life and a stretchy, loose-fit crop top T-shirt with a big bright S-shield that fits implausibly tightly across his pecs and exposes every inch of his abs and way too much of his Adonis belt and oh, okay, yeah, Tim was in no way braced enough. No way whatsoever. Not even slightly.  

He is suddenly mortifyingly aware of Kon having thighs. Like, he's noticed Kon's arms before–it would be physically impossible not to have, even through the leather jacket–but somehow he never noticed his thighs. 

Terrible oversight on his part, there. 

Tim swallows. 

“Oh, so you, uh . . . remember that conversation, huh,” he manages weakly, and Kon's smirk goes sly again and he makes a point of shifting into a stupid come-hither teen-zine pose that has Tim silently praying for mercy.

“I definitely remember that conversation,” Kon says. 

Tim honestly did not expect him to. Like . . . why would Kon remember that conversation? Just flirting around a little shouldn’t necessitate . . . 

It occurs to Tim that Kon might’ve remembered that conversation because he’d made the effort to. That he might’ve tried to. Tim had said there was something he’d like to see him in, and Kon had made it a point to remember that. And then a point to go and find it. 

Fuck, Tim thinks in near-hysteria, and only doesn’t burst into literal flames of mortification by the mercy of the multiverse. He told Kon he was into something and Kon went to the effort to make it happen for him. Because Kon . . . wants to do that, apparently. Wants to do things Tim is into. 

“Oh,” Tim croaks, and Kon bites his lip around a wider smirk and then just sort of steps back into his space a little and then . . . 

Then he plucks up the shopping bag in Tim’s lap by the handles, sets it aside, and replaces it. 

Replaces it with himself, to be clear. 

Tim blinks, very slowly, and every fucking drop of blood in his brain abandons ship to fly south for the summer. Kon’s arms are braced against the wall on either side of Tim’s head and Kon’s thighs are on either side of Tim’s thighs, and Kon is kneeling over Tim’s lap. Tim’s actual literal lap.

If there was any chance of Tim coming up with something coherent to say about that, the way Kon leans down into “close enough to kiss” territory would absolutely and entirely vaporize it. 

“Does it look as good as you thought it would?” Kon asks, his eyes warm and heated and bluer than anything and his voice a low and shameless purr. Tim continues to lack a coherent vocabulary to answer him with. “Tim?” 

“Asdfghjk,” Tim manages, which might be sort of like words or might just be the verbal equivalent of a literal keyboard smash, maybe, and then does the stupidest possible thing he could do, which is grab Kon’s hips and kiss him again. Kon makes that same soft little sound into it, going loose and liquid in his lap, and then wraps his arms around his neck and tries to eat him alive. 

Tim is in no way complaining about that, for the record. 

Bragging, maybe. Maybe he’s technically more bragging, in this scenario. In his defense, Kon is filling up his entire lap with an infinite expanse of smooth muscle and bare skin and a fucking S-shield crop top, which Tim would really have expected people to have more respect for Superman than to make and sell commercially but really should’ve known better than to, in fact, expect people to have more respect for Superman than to make and sell commercially. 

"Kon–" he chokes out unthinkingly as Kon drops his mouth down behind his ear to kiss him there, brain all fried out on Kon's weight pressing down into his lap and Kon's body against his body and Kon's mouth high up his throat, on Kon's bare thighs and exposed stomach and the stretch of fabric across his muscles and his–and then he very abruptly remembers that Kon never actually told "Tim Drake" his name and his eyes flare in alarm and he panics and Kon–

Laughs? 

"Wow, you really did do your research," he observes in amusement, leaning back just enough to grin down at him. 

Tim is the luckiest son of a bitch alive. 

Also the stupidest, but that goes without saying. 

"Um," he says weakly. "Sorry?" 

"It's cool, babe, I'm starting to think scary stalker tendencies are just a Gotham thing at this point," Kon teases with another easy laugh, squeezing his arms around Tim's neck. They are unspeakably nice arms and Tim frankly does not deserve their presence. "To say nothing of the control freak stuff. I dunno, is there something in the water around here, or does it all just mean 'I like you' in Gothamite?" 

"So sorry," Tim stresses feebly, and Kon just smiles at him. 

"It's cool," he repeats quietly, ducking his head a little. "Seriously. I actually kinda like hearing you say my name. Or . . . okay, I really like it. It's still pretty new, to be honest, so I don't really hear it all that much. Shoulda told you it to begin with, I just . . . haven't had many people to tell, I guess.  But it's not like it's a secret or anything." 

"Ah," Tim says, his gut twisting with totally, totally inappropriate heat. 

"Wanna say it again, maybe?" Kon asks softly, leaning back in with just the faintest trace of glitter and warmth in his eyes. "Wanna say it all the time?" 

Tim definitely wants to do that, yes. 

"Kon-El," he says, and Kon smiles.

#timkon #tim drake #kon el #conner kent #dc robin #superboy #young just us #young justice #long post #rinfic #wip: obligatory sugar baby kon

[luffyrose]

Alien or Ghost?

I am once again offering random ideas that pop into my brain. As you can tell, the brain rot is strong for DC x DP.

Anyway, let's hop right into the idea for today!

~~~~~~

Halfas' as much as they share biology with ghosts, who in their own sense are a new species, are considered alien. Of course, not because they have human and ghostly abilities, but because Halfas WERE aliens. The origin of their race had been so uncertain, but seeing that they held a small planet close to Krypton, they were most definitely a species of Alien. They could hop between dimensions, though it seemed that this one and this planet was their home. No matter who left, they always returned. So when one day they didn't, it was believed the species was now extinct, seeing as they didn't know that Halfa have two ways of being "born".

Those who knew the most were the Kryptonians, being close allies to the friendly but powerful race. With Krypton destroyed, the only information that survived was that of a few estranged alien species' knowledge and documents in the Fortress of Solitude. Seeing as it wasn't important, being a deceased race and all, Superman paid his respects to the race but didn't spend much time looking over the details of the species. All he really maintained was their similar biology to beings referred to as Ghosts, and the ability to transform. It was also noted that Halfa, as strong as they were, developed powers in times of need or panic. Meaning the stronger the person, the worse they've had to protect themselves or others from.

Now, if he'd read a little more, he would have learned about how Halfa's had said before how, while they can have children, not every Halfa was born as Halfa's, it was something that made them special and made them care for one another so deeply. It was also why true Halfa were usually aligned to protect whatever it deemed family.

So when a group of young teens, led by Boy Wonder himself on a wayward mission, find a horribly ill-looking teen and are terrified. It does not help that the clothes he wore were tattered and through them, the team could see rushed and careless stitches. Nor did it make anything better that this mission was in a lab. A much too nice lab for supposedly illegal activity. And now the group knew why. So with chaos and teenage rage at seeing someone so young and so hurt, they absolutely destroy the lab in an attempt to get the other out. It goes as well as it can, but hey, they're out! Scolded by Batman, but out! And they took the kid!

The team is determined to help their unofficial new teammate, you could pry him from their cold dead hands this was almost exactly like how they got Conner and that had ended wonderfully- for the most part. Conner himself was very protective of the young boy, and Danny accepted that pretty quickly. It made most of them more than sure that he'd had a family, but none of them wanted to ask.

When Wally inevitably did, Danny physically freezes, sudden realizations hitting him like a truck. Danny's family was gone...for the most part. Jazz had been away for something, but his house had been attacked by the GIW, leaving Danny to expose himself to his parents before they tried to defend him. It didn't work. So the three Fentons were claimed dead, the house blown to pieces with nothing to find. Except, only his parents were actually gone. Sam and Tucker had no idea what had happened, Jazz probably knew he was alive...but that didn't make the situation much better, and Dani...she had been elsewhere, but surely she'd known by now.

Dan.

That was a much worse realization. Dan had been reformed after a long time out and very much taken an older brother role, Conner reminded him of that even if subconsciously, either way, he was the King of the Infinite Realms and he'd been missing. For months. Dan was more than definitely ready to tear the human realm apart.

With a tense chuckle, Danny said he was so dead when his siblings found him but never elaborated. They could tell it wasn't an actual danger to the boy, but it made the team curious. Either way, not his problem for now, so Danny just continues to stay with the YJL.

Eventually, Danny ends up sneaking with them to help on a mission and when the team is in danger, he snaps and near destroys everything around them, save his teammates, in a fit of rage. It's then that the JL realize their newest addition may be a bit strong for his age and control. So they plan to meet him. Lucky for Danny, Robin and Wally are allowed to come with!

The meeting starts with a lot of the JL, minus a well-known blue boy scout, he'd been busy working things out with Conner, his Ma had learned of the boy and really helped him figure out his issues(there was definitely a lot of yelling, and request to meet her grandson). Things are going alright, even with the boy's clear nervousness at seeing so many people. It's when Superman himself arrives that he freezes completely, staring at the boy in front of him as everything in his body screams this is another Alien. He doesn't quite know why, but the only non-martian alien who could possibly look this human that he knew of was meant to be extinct. Seeing how Martian Manhunter hadn't mentioned anything about the boy being possibly Martian, Supes was rightfully freaking out.

Superman, utterly confused and slightly happy: YOU'RE A HALFA

Danny, surprised and terrified out of his mind that he's been outed so easily: UHHH-

Obviously, the right thing to do in a panic? RUN AWAY. So off Danny goes, fleeing as if his life depends on it. I mean, who can blame him? In Superman's eyes, this is the last known being of his species, unless they were in hiding, and to Danny, this man just stated to a room full of possible enemies if he ever oversteps a boundary exactly what he is. Not to mention the whole Halfa hunted like sport when Pariah Dark was alive stuff he'd learned from Clockwork at some point.

His recent recklessness gave quite a few people, good and bad, a hint of his location. A mix of joy, worry, and anger is present from all sources alike.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcmultiverse #dc comics #danny phantom #danny fenton #ghost king danny #young justice #justice league #superman #dc robin #dick grayson #wally west #kid flash #conner kent #superboy #dani fenton #dan phantom #jazz fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #Vlad isn't actually a halfa #he's some weird type of revenant but his sure anger at being turned ghost made him believe he wasn't fully one #and his various deception abilities only helped his own delusion #Dan is a very overprotective big brother though and he wants his little brother and he wants him now #Dani also wants her big brother right now #Jazz is only holding herself together because both other Halfa are very certain he is alive though they don't know his condition #or location #so they are very happy his heroic dumbass shines through and he ends up on some news #Tucker had already been hacking as many places as he can to find him once the news aired

[spiderlandry]

stay — jake sully

Description: Jake reflects on a love from his past life.

Pairing: Past Human!Jake Sully x F!Reader, Jake Sully x Neytiri

Warnings/Tags: angst, kind of fluff, death mention (tom sully), i dont know anymore it’s just kinda bittersweet

Word Count: 1.3k

Author’s Note: it’s jake’s birthday today (august 24) !!! so im posting two jake fics :] the other one is fluff i promise

PRESENT

Guilt has to be some type of chronic pain, Jake thinks. It sits in his ribcage beside his heart like a heavy stone, only alleviated by the reminder that he has a life now and the past is long gone. But the problem is that it would always haunt him. He’s a sinner, he has to pay.

Being with Neytiri makes him feel alive, it really does. He loves her. But there’s a place in his heart only occupied by one person right next to Neytiri’s place—you.

You, who was the first to ever see him. The first to ever give him a taste of what it was like to love and be loved. When he was learning the words oel ngati kameie, his point of reference was you. Your heart that he so diligently worked to earn, something you shared that he didn’t deserve. Don’t get him wrong, he’s sure you’re still on your feet. Hell, you probably found someone better. He hopes you have and that you’ve also realized that one’s heart can belong to two, just like his.

He wonders sometimes if you know his heart still belongs to you.

2146

“Pretty lady,” Jake greeted you as he wheeled himself into the pub. This wasn’t his usual place, but he’d come here more regularly all because of one person: you. “How’s business tonight?”

“Better now that you’re here, Sully.” You flashed him a cheshire grin from behind the bar, pouring him the usual.

You were the pretty bartender that caught his eye, months ago. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for him to observe beautiful women from afar, but you were different. Though you were attractive, it was one particular conversation that drew him completely to you, where you spoke of your own dreams as a scientist even in the quickly deteriorating shithole that was the city you’d both considered home. It gave him something. It gave him hope. Just a sliver.

He watched you from the corner of the room while you did your job.

He waited for you until the end of your shift, careful not to drink too much so he can remember the next morning. To remember how you grinned at him when you opened the door to your apartment, and to spend the next few hours kissing him stupid.

PRESENT

There’s nothing like the date nights with Neytiri. It’s freedom injected into his veins. They fly together, circling the floating mountains and laughing as they chased each other. The world glitters and glows around them, and the world falls away.

By the end of the night, he cages her inside his arms, protection enough for the both of them—he protects himself by shielding her.

And there’s a flash—just a second—of his past life.

It happens. Rarely, but it happens. Sometimes Neytiri would run her fingers through his hair just right, or she would shove him playfully with such a precise force that it matches a memory buried deep under the grounds of the graveyard inside his mind where he mourned his other life, and along with it, you. For one moment, he’s back in a human body, with your soul still there with him, somehow.

He only falters for a single frame, but it’s enough for her to notice. She doesn’t pry in the hopes he’ll tell her someday. He’s got a type—Neytiri is beautiful and patient, just like you.

2148

His apartment gathered dust while he spent all of his time at your place. He’d never dare utter the word out loud, but it was becoming home for him. When you had opening shift at the bar, he awoke to gentle lips on his forehead and a promise to come home later.

Promise. Jake didn’t have much of it in his life. But once again, you reignited a sense of belonging that he once had.

There was no other place for him to be.

At least until those two agents showed up at the door and demanded he go with them. He was shown his twin’s dead body, and it was then he saw the other side of the coin. That could have been him. It should have been him, technically. Tom was always the better one.

Jake was proposed with a choice.

It was nighttime when he got to you, and you were already there waiting for him with a worried expression. There was no grieving, but there was guilt.

You held him for hours in silence after he told you what happened.

In the morning, he further explained to you what those agents told him, and you listened patiently—intently—without interruption. Afterward, you smiled solemnly. Perhaps you’d already known his choice even before he did.

For a long time, you knew that Jake felt lost. No sense of purpose, he told you. And while you were a pillar of stability for him, his heart sought for an objective. You had your studies, your aspirations. He didn’t have any goal to work toward. You, being you, recognized his craving for something more.

“If you go, I won’t hold it against you.” You said, preparing breakfast at the crack of dawn. There was only sleeplessness for both of you.

“But?” He asked.

“But what, Jake?” You glanced at him, unable to make eye contact for longer. “What do you want me to say?”

“If you tell me to stay, I will.”

“We both know I’m not doing that,” You sighed. That was the thing, you knew him too well. “Do you want me to tell you to stay?”

His silence said it all.

“Look,” despite your nerves, you finally faced him. Courage he saw in your eyes. “I love you. There’s nothing that’ll change that. I don’t want you to go, but I’ll never tell you to stay.”

“That’s nonsense.”

And despite the edge in his voice, you smiled. “This would be good for you,” you caressed his jaw. “You’ll come back. It’s not forever.”

He rested his head against your middle as you ran your fingers through his hair soothingly, scratching at the scalp.

“I’ll come back, I promise.” He whispered.

“I don’t doubt that, Jake.”

He intended to keep that promise.

PRESENT

He would never stop thanking you for not telling him to stay. If you didn’t, he wouldn’t have his family. But he promised to come back, and that’s where the guilt grows tenfold.

The guilt doesn’t end. He doesn’t really expect it to.

With a strong heart, he prepares himself to tell Neytiri about you.

In the back of her mind, she likely knew there was already someone before her. By making the bond, they share everything, and with a haze, she felt Jake’s love being shared with another. She sensed his hesitance to get close to her during training.

He tells her about finding purpose, about how he fought for you, that everything he did—even as Toruk Makto—was all so he can make you proud.

He exhausts himself telling endless stories of your adventures together on Earth, and regardless of her distaste with sky people, there is no greater joy for her than hearing him share this part of his life. It means the secret would no longer plague him.

Don’t get him wrong, he moved on long ago. Found happiness without you. But that does not mean he stopped loving you; it’s a part of him as much as his bond with Neytiri.

Someday, he hopes to pass onto his children the kind of bravery he gained from being with you. To be unapologetically courageous—to fight for want you want. When they’re older, there may be a circumstance where he can give advice from a lesson he learned from you. One of which being that there’s more love in one’s heart than they think.

He lounges with Neytiri in a secluded part of the mountains, holding her, when he spots a new light in the sky. A light that, unbeknownst to him, contains you.

#idk why i ended it like that lol #i feel like theres potential for this to be a series #like maybe reader signed on as a scientist to keep an eye on jake #after humans lose the war she ends up signing with the rda to go to pandora #then i would turn it into a tsu’tey fic where she finds love after jake aw #jake sully x reader #jake sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar the way of water #avatar the way of water x reader #atwow #atwow x reader #jake sully angst

[versaphile]

I’ll never kill. Ever again.

OK, so I didn't catch the significance at first, but after having absorbed the other Trigun canons, it really stands out to me. From "Millions Knives":

In the English dub, Vash's words are similar: "I’ll never kill. Ever again."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but in the manga and 1998 canons, Legato is in fact the first person that Vash ever actually kills.

Though arguably he does hurt people very badly in the manga, his pacifism is generally about doing the least possible amount of harm to resolve a situation.

So when Stampede Vash says he HAS killed in the past, what is he referring to? Is it his guilt over The Big Fall? Nai did a number on him by retroactively making Vash feel as though the blood of that is on his hands, by showing Nai the access code to the SEEDS05 computer. Or is there something else that happened that we haven't seen yet, something where Vash ended up actually killing someone himself?

I think either way there's a difference between the Vashes here. 98 Vash is the most pure in his pacifism. He even goes out of his way to avoid harming anyone at all, if he can. He seems almost paralyzed by it at times, it even makes him freeze up in situations where he is faced with the choice to kill. 98 ends with him rejecting his obsession with Rem in order to stop Knives.

Manga Vash is frankly not afraid to draw blood, though he avoids it if he can. He has a lot more anger and escalates his willingness to harm with the danger of the situation. His refusal to kill is very tied up to his refusal of his own suicide and Rem's blank ticket speech. After Tesla, he chose to live because of Rem's love. Rem's love also saved the humans of NML. There's a whole transference here with him, where he needs to save the humans as part of him continuing to save himself from that suicidal urge that hasn't really gone away in all that time. And when he does finally give in to that suicidal urge at the end of Trimax, he does it with the mental context of giving his tomorrows to humanity just like Rem did. He embraces Rem’s path even more.

Stampede Vash though-- There's still a lot we don't know about what happened after Tesla. We know Rem gave the blank ticket speech. In the more limited examples we have, Vash absolutely minimizes harm to others, largely by drawing fire and running from it, and minimizes harm to himself. He is extremely controlled and precise in his use of force, again escalating only as much as absolutely necessary. He is actively trying to defuse situations and bring people together. The only times we really see Vash threaten anyone are his confrontations with Knives, and there's no sense that his heart is in actually harming Knives at all.

So is his pacifism a mixture of guilt over the Big Fall, and a need to carry on Rem's work and keep the humans and plants of NML alive just a little longer? Is that really about pacifism at all? If he did try to kill himself after Tesla, which is likely, how much is that driving him here? He is carrying a lot of pain, guilt, and shame, given his regular self-punishment.

And then there's this, in the same scene:

Brad tells Wolfwood that Vash's desire to save everyone on NML including Knives, is actually right.

This is absolutely fascinating to me. In 98, Brad is deeply antagonistic to Vash, partly out of jealousy over Jessica, but also because Vash goes out into NML and fights while Brad and the others in the Flying City hide in fear of "outsiders." Brad is a narrative critique of Vash's violence, and in the end he switches over and defends Vash, dying to save him.

In the manga, Brad is deeply antagonistic to Vash again out of jealousy over Jessica, but also he explicitly calls Vash a monster for his part in July and the Fifth Moon. Again, Brad serves as a critique of Vash, this time about the extreme destruction he's capable of. This is similar to Wolfwood's post-Dragon's Nest moment of doubt, where he seriously considered killing Vash to prevent Knives from using Vash's power ever again.

Stampede Brad is a narrative voice again, first antagonistic as his other counterparts, suspicious of Vash's very nature. But quickly enough he comes around and ends up as one of Vash's parental figures. And when Wolfwood doubts Vash for wanting to save everyone, Brad defends Vash. He says Vash is strong enough to find a way to make his dream happen. In contrast to so many others, instead of telling Vash to take a side, Brad says everything isn't black and white. And in fact SEEDS03 is actively working on a solution that will help Vash's dream happen, by trying to terraform NML with flora.

I think more than anything, Stampede Vash is defined by hope. He has people already trying to make a better NML. He goes out into the world and helps people and stops violence in order to keep plants and humans alive long enough for Luida's terraforming plan to succeed.

Roberto is another narrative voice. In "Humans", when Conrad shows off his work, all in the name of remaking the human race for survival without plants, Roberto calls him out, saying that his dream is not worth the cost of his monstrous abuse of innocents. Knives and Conrad's "dream" is one of humans and plants living completely separately, without depending on each other.

All of which is to say, in 98 the core inner conflict was Vash's fixation with Rem, and his refusal to kill reflected that. In the manga, the core inner conflict was the transference of Vash's denial of suicide, and his refusal to kill reflected that.

Stampede's core inner conflict so far appears to be abuse and isolation vs love and connection. The struggle of finding a way to survive while minimizing harm to others. This changes Vash's refusal to kill yet again. And all the more fascinating if Vash has already broken that ideal, if it's not a psychological block or obsession like 98 and the manga, but the choice he makes from lived experience and regret. Vash as a kind person having suffered greatly to learn his kindness.

All of which has massive ramifications for story elements that are entirely focused on Vash's refusal to kill. Such as Wolfwood. Perhaps that's part of why Wolfwood's story arc from the manga has already been largely completely by "High Noon at July". Wolfwood might still have no obvious compunction against killing, but Vash has already started to open up his heart. Wolfwood killed Rollo because he had no hope for Rollo or himself. And then Vash gave him hope for Livio, which is far more important to Stampede Wolfwood than what level of violence he should use. Even Livio shooting himself didn't take that away. Despite the destruction of JuLai, Wolfwood ends Stampede S1 with hope, for Livio and maybe even himself.

And also such as Legato. Perhaps that's why Legato's 98/manga obsession with Vash has been refocused towards Wolfwood in "Once Upon A Time In Hopeland/WOLFWOOD". Though I could certainly see Legato plotting a Death Game in revenge for "High Noon at July". Wolfwood is a safe target for Legato to transfer his anger at Knives. The big brother who needs to have his little brother taken away from him for his own good, to purify him.

Fascinating that Legato actually feels anger at Knives here, vs manga Legato who seems to be willing to accept any denigration with the eternal hope that Knives will show him a tiny speck of approval one day. Manga Legato wanted to destroy Vash as a gift for Knives, as proof of Legato's faith. Stampede Legato wants to punish Wolfwood because he can't punish Knives.

#trigun meta #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #trigun 1998 #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #legato bluesummers #trigun brad

[worrywrite]

So, in Guards! Guards! one of my favorite sequences of events is the watch waiting on the roof so Colon can shoot the dragon with a bow and arrow.

And while this scene is great for the twisted humor of self awareness that these characters have, it's actually a really good deconstruction of stakes in writing.

Not only is this a fairly tense moment for the book, right in the height of the dragon's plans to enact ritual human sacrifice, but the watch almost dies in their attempt. One might think it's the comedy aspect of the story that keeps them alive (or Carrot being built like a brick house), because people of importance seldom die in comedies, but it really isn't. It's the stakes that keep them alive.

Raising the stakes in a story changes the likelihood of character death. Colon, by all accounts, could have died, as could Nobby, and debatably Carrot if you look at G!G! in isolation. None of them have the narrative weight of Vimes or Sybil in this book, and they could all be considered expendable (though Carrot to a lesser degree, as he was specifically introduced by the narrative to be a "hero"). When the stakes are highest, someone is the most likely to die doing something good. But the watch also knows that when the stakes are high and the odds are against someone doing a noble thing, that action has the highest narrative likelihood of success. The phrase "it'd never work, it's a million-to-one chance" being their goalpost inspires them to artificially lower the odds of their success when the stakes are high. But in so doing, they lower the stakes by acknowledging that it's entirely possible that Colon could kill the dragon, even if it's unlikely, and his odds of him certainly killing the dragon are higher if his odds of maybe killing the dragon are lower (if that makes sense; granted, if you've read the book you probably get it).

Anyway, this adjustment of odds to make the chances of success higher (by making them lower) lowers the stakes of the book when it is at its most tense and signals what I call a "descent into absurdity." And while that may sound like a bad thing, it is one of my favorite parts of Discworld. Things are rectified in absurdity, because functioning is absurd, and the goal in most of these books is to be "functional". E.g., Vetinari's whole goal is to keep Ankh-Morpork functional, and he does so by being the most absurd sort of untouchable dictator possible. The man pays people to try and kill him, spreads rumors about himself, builds a prison only he knows how it really works, governs intelligent rat societies, and is perhaps the only character in the whole book that doesn't fear the most fearsome creature there is. He functions and the city functions because they are absurd.

Absurdity lowers stakes, while increasing chances of character success. It is how comedy almost always resolves. But absurdity only begins to descend upon narrative after the failure of the logical. Logical solutions will always fail when the illogical and comical is fated to happen. And a city built on absurdity will always be fated to be saved in the most illogical ways possible. And that is a wonderful thing.

Of course the watch would never be able to shoot down a draco nobilis, even in the most absurd way possible. Especially not when the stakes are as high as they are. But you think, for a moment, as they embrace absurdity and twist this logical attempt into an illogical one, that they might actually do something helpful. It just turns out that that something helpful is to begin the descent. And they survive this otherwise incredibly dangerous scenario because they embraced the absurd and lowered the stakes.

#writing #discworld #gaurds!guards! #fantasy #fiction #terry pratchett #literary analysis

[noacfapologyst]

birthday surprise — matty healy

(the birthday party: day two)

summary: even surrounded by people he loves and people he doesn't know at his birthday party, matty feels alone. by chance or by consequence, he finds a piece of his past that it stirs absolutely everything in the depths of his soul.

warnings: mention of alcohol, approach to loneliness, flashbacks of the past. cry on your birthday (guilty). open ending (maybe?)

wordcounter: 4,8k

Birthdays are one of the things Matty has enjoyed most since he was a kid. It's not just the fact of seeing all the people he wants in one place or the gifts he receives, although obviously that's also a plus for the basis, but the most important reason boils down to another: Matty has learned to celebrate being alive, to have a day, or a year more to live.

Maybe for the same reason, one of the environments Matty is best known for could be at parties. He always gathers endless crowds inside the walls of his house, always ends up being crazy between the amount of mess he has to clean up afterwards and the mess he has to take care of while they dance drunk on the tables and sing without being able to stop.

He has never considered himself a person of few friends, but he doesn't think he has a huge amount either because he's had to leave a lot of people behind. He has the necessary ones to be good with himself and with them, his presence does not suffocate them and they know how to understand him even when he cannot control himself and impulsivity controls him. But he's calm, he always is.

Of course, he now finds himself in a situation where many people entering his house are unknown to him because they are companions of his friends, or acquaintances of them. And God, Charli gathered a crowd in here. He recognizes them because he believes he went to high school with one or two, the few years he attended before deciding to miss an exam to go to a music festival.

Entities mix because he fails to recognize among low-profile, famous or just known people who have found out. In a way, it feels a bit like a party I'd throw if I was 18 and walked out of a Santbury's with several bottles in my hand and on my head. But it is not, because he is 35 and is in the middle of going through his thirties crisis.

Although now he deduces that none of it matters to him. He's much better than fine. He has gone from having the weight of a feather to getting stronger and seeing its fruits after many months without stopping at the gym. It has healed in all senses: broken heart, mental frailty, bad habits and addictions. Or at least in most of them, because he still smokes and still drinks alcohol, but at least now he equates it with something else and knows he can control it better. It's not entirely perfect, it could never be because that's metaphorically what the human being represents: a canvas that looks beautiful, beautiful and honest until you see the poorly made brushstrokes, over and over again until a result bulges.

"Hey, come to the kitchen." George awakens him from his thought with a touch. Matty leaves the beer can half-open on a shelf in the living hallway.

Then they arrive in the kitchen amidst a tumult of people that opens up in their path. The open backyard door is a plus because it's a good place to get some cold air and realize that he's lost a lot of stability and composure after several beers and a few more shots.

Ross is leaning on the recently acquired white marble countertop, as he opens a bottle of Don Perignon and the foam splashes over the top of the bottle. With quick movements, he pulls seven glasses from the shelf, and fills them to distribute later.

"Let's toast in honor of Matty, because it's his birthday and we love him. And we are incredibly proud of him." Ross cheers, while everyone raises their glasses. Charli applauds with the palms of his hands, and everyone knows that he has lost his mind. Matty smiles as much for that last act as for what his friend has just said, it's really an honest smile and full of feeling though he may not be able to prove it now.

Everyone toast, and then Carly pulls out of her purse a digital camera to capture the moment in eternity. They take a selfie together: George, Matty, Ross, Adam, Carly, Charli, and Chloe. Then there are some spontaneous ones between the four guys, the girls and one of each of them with Matty.

"Oh, my boys. I love all of you so much. You are the best on my life, really." It's finally Matty drinking the champagne out of his glass. Feel the golden bubbling liquid falling down your throat. "Thanks for everything you've done for me throught this years, forever."

When the conversation becomes that emotional tone that always happens on birthdays, it is also the moment when the bubble of intimacy breaks and everyone leaves that state.

"Hey I'm sorry, but there's not more ice." A woman's voice sounds from the frame of the kitchen, but Matty can't recognize her even when he looks at her with a frown.

"Oh! Now I'll bring more, thank you darling." Matty answers almost automatically as if he had given up control of his head. Actually the words are leaking out of her mouth but it's nothing too worrying yet, and she hopes it stays that way. "Some of you know who is?" He receives negative responses after the restlessness and sighs sillylyly laughing. "Thanks for all, friends."

A song by the Backstreets Boys begins to ring through the speaker in the living room and resonates between all the divisions of the house. Taking advantage of the commotion and celebration about it all he leaves the kitchen and disperses. Matty searches for a bag of ice from the fridge, breaks the wrapper with scissors and takes it to the main table where he places it in the fountain designed to keep the cold.

When he crosses the center of the dance floor, many people greet him and flatter him, giving him little shouts of love or complete sobriety, and more than one even asks him to dance for a few moments.

For a moment he manages to put away the idea of how he is the only one in his group of friends who has no one, which becomes more raw when he sees too many couples kissing on his couch, also generates a bit of disgust but he doesn't want to feel like a snob. He did the same thing and doesn't know when he stopped doing it but he understands the adrenaline generated by kissing someone when you're drunk and hot in public spaces, even if it's a pretty adolescebte attitude.

He takes his beer from where he left off and goes on. They have all built long-lasting relationships or are in the process, which makes sense for the age that passes.

He's okay with that, too. Yeah, logically, he´d like to have someone to dance together right now and then sneak out to enjoy a moment alone. Intertwining his hands with someone and having someone fixed to wake up with every morning while the smell of coffee runs through the room. He wants it the same way people who don't have it do, but he thinks he needs a break now.

Her last love attempts have gone overboard, and further down. They have simply come out disastrously and reject the idea that he wants to have for love: it all ends in silly discussions about mundane and monotonous everyday things that make up a ball that explodes, then everything weakens and the routine too tiresome. He wanted to live in the madness with which he used to live love in his 20s, where there was no fear of the future and only the expectation of living in the present.

Remember that frenzy of love when he was a teenager, when it is the purest love you contemplate inside you, when the barrier of who is going to judge you and the responsibilities are inhibited and you just go drunk with love walking down the streets arriving at the door with different flowers every day. He wants to love and get it right this time, obviously, but he doesn't want the person he leaves his legacy with abruptly taking away the magic of love Matty once had.

By the same token, he takes care of letting it flow. He's not waiting for anyone and he's hoping that things will just get better. She doesn't know if her future is to love someone and make it work, but she doesn't give up hope.

"I'm going to smoke, just in case." He says, when he sees Carly near him. He knows she's the one he can trust most because she's the most sober and the least alcoholic.

"Stay safe, Matty. Hope I won't have to look for you." She approaches him and kisses him on the cheek in an act of love, something like a motherly love. Even though she's only a little older than him, since she's with Adam she considers Matty to be completely special to her, and she loves him as much as she literally loves her children.

He says goodbye to her and walks to find the back door sneaking around. He looks the place and he see that there are really not so many people huddled together in the same place as they are scattered. The courtyard is huge, after the cement floor the grass extends along perhaps half a kilometer, where in the middle there is a swimming pool, and in the width there are some palm trees that accompany it. In the background there is a gate that leads to a construction connected to the house, but for which Matty is not responsible.

He looks for a place under the palm tree, the breeze that the leaves cause as they move embraces him at dawn. It's funny to him, he sneaks away just like he did all his life at these kinds of events, punctually on his birthday. He loves people and loves being with them, but at some point he needs to isolate himself from that same environment and have air to himself.

He fiddles with the lighter between his fingers passing it from hand to hand until he decides to pull a mentholed cigarette out of the pocket of his black leather bomber.

"Matty?" A whisper of the wind reaches his ears, although he does not know where it comes from, he acknowledges that there are not so many people who call themselves that.

He hears footsteps on freshly cut grass and hears crackling under his shoes. The only light out there comes from a curtain of lights hooked to the grill, so it's pretty dark.

But then a female presence appears in front of him. He really does nothing but admire her and for once his eyes run out of the cylinder he is about to light.

The two look into each other's eyes, Matty feels his whole life is passing before his eyes and is afraid he's having a concussion, or he's having a stroke. It doesn't make sense for her to be here in front of him after all these years.

"y/n?" He dares to ask. He doesn't have anyone around to confirm his presence there so he hopes he's not too drunk to hallucinate and hopes he's really on the physical plane. "I'm sorry, it's just…wow." Her tongue catches the words as her head runs a thousand miles after seeing her nod to get out of her trance.

"Isn't it?" With every word the past moves down the earth for both him and her. Too many, too many layers of memories that were left behind many years ago now threaten to float as if they could seep through the holes in the green ground.

There is a prolonged silence for a few seconds. Actually, nobody knows what to say because everything seems like a fantasy about to be pricked with a pin and nobody wants to go beyond that.

Matty's looking at her. She has always had that carefree but wrinkled profile and he recognizes her under the black dress sleeveless dress glued to her body and the hair cut on her shoulder, with the last minute scissors marks and something uneven. She complements it with high-cane boots, something like the ones she defined as her favorites too long ago. She still has that sparkle she had when she was a teenager, she's still incredibly beautiful without asking. He looks at her surprised that she's here, grateful to see her once more. He can't stop thinking about it, but she's really radiant.

She looks at him. He has changed a lot from the superficial, his hair is now almost shaved, only with hints of hair growing on his entrances. She doen't need to inquire to know that his fitness owes it to the gym, even under his jacket she can see how well marked are his muscles compared to the little skinny teenager she met a long time ago. The expression on his face did not change, if he looks into his eyes he still finds the frightened child because he does not know if things will turn out well, but also the child waiting for his mother after school to give her a hug. She has a white T-shirt that's stuck to her body and her tattoos are transparent. She looks at him impressed.

"Hey." He breaks the silence by speaking softly but with total softness. She smiles at him without showing her teeth and Matty feels something rising up her body. "What are you doing here?"

He is lying against a palm tree, she is standing nearby but neither wants to move into the position of the other, there is some barrier that prevents it and possibly it is discomfort.

"I'm the babysitter of my sister and her friends, they are your brother's friends." She anwers by returning the tone of calm. "In fact, I found out today."

"Wait, really?" He answers, and for a moment the atmosphere seems to disappear only because he is seeing everything through it. "But Louis is not there." He shrubs his shoulders.

"Yes, I noticed that. I guess he told the others in some nonsense conversation." She analyzes how he hasn't lit a cigarette since he arrived. "Are you going to turn it on or?"

Matty feels like a fool. "Do you continue smoking?" Ask without a second thought. He just wants to know what's in her life now. "Sorry, what about my maners, do you want one?

"No, but I'll share one just for the old times." She smiles at him again, and he mentally keeps the memory of how the burgundy color highlights the cheekbones of the white skin of the woman in front of him.

"Do you want to sit?"

"I'm alloweed to?" Matty is restless under such a formal tone and considers that the passage of the years now takes its points.

"Of course." Now he's the one smiling at her. "Are you still in the same job?

She laughs slowly, refuses with her head a bit apart. "God, no. I work in a notary's office now, but I'm more comfortable." She answers, he opens his lips in surprise, a whistle escapes from her lips. "May I suggest why are you here and not inside dancing with the others?" She asks with some shyness as she approaches to sit down, without doing so facing or beside him, as at an angle of seventy-five.

"Maybe you know the answer. It hasn't changed." He answerd and when he feels that he is drowning in too much of the past, he lights the cigarette. He pauses and takes a drag.

"You still get loneliness sometimes." She reasons, he nods with a look of pity and gave her the cigarette. "I really didntt know this was your house."

"It's quite different from the old porch, it doesn't have a loft with a balcony or red tiles either, but i like it." He sighs embracing the melancholy that escapes from his bone structure. "How did you get here?

"My friend was dizzy from so many people and then I lost her because of a child." She laughs wryly. "I started walking and then I reached the palm tree, and maybe I understood the host of the party."

"¿Yes?"

"How many people do you know whose birthday is April 8th, Matty?" She stares at him with direct intent. He flies in the nebula. She remembers her birthday.

"You still remember it." He has a smile that runs through his face from end to end, he feels satisfied with the interaction, whatever it takes. She leaves the cigar in her hand and the touch makes him shake.

Matty's head is about to fall apart. He himself sees how his vision becomes twofold, one leaving him in reality under the palm tree, and the other teleporting him 22 years ago to a rather similar place.

It's autumn, the leaves of the trees turn yellow and fall to the ground. There's a breeze but it's not cool or threatening, it's friendly. Matty's eighteen now, he's of age.

On the other side of the race to see who gets to the pile of leaves first, there's her. She's dressed as simple as if she'd just gotten up, the blue skinny jeans and a black shirt with a print of some band scratched by the number of times she's washed. They're both older, but running down the alleys of New Castle looks like they're 12 still.

The muddy shoes, their coats that shelter them both, her bracelet tied to his hand, the kiss on the cheek when greeting each other, the butterflies every time they look at each other. The celebration of walking, the adrenaline of winning the race to the leaves and rolling in them.

Matty abandons everything else, leaving behind the nightmares, his parents' parties and sleepless nights when he has her. He's happy with her, he feels protected and nothing can hurt him. He loves her, with all his heart. He's eighteen, newly grown, wears glasses that slip on the tip of his nose but make him look smart. It has some protruding pimples between the cheek and forehead, but in sunlight it still looks like a baby's skin, fragile to the touch.

He doesn't know when he fell so in love with her, he doesn't know when he found the connection and when it began to appear in his innermost dreams. He couldn't stop thinking about her and all her dreams, the dress she wore on her birthday, the hug after the holidays. Every touch gives Matty years to live, and although he's been a sad kid for most of his life, he'll always be grateful that she changed that.

"You are eighteen, you can run fast." She says in a competitive tone, without slowing down.

"I will win, idiot." He's self-proclaimed.

"And if you do, what will you get? A painful coronation as king of the leaves." She jokes and throws herself headfirst on the leaves of the ground. "I told you."

But Matty was willing to win.

"I already decided my prize." Vitorea approaching the leaves, diving into them.

"You didn't wi-"

Matty doesn't think about what's going on, he just lets the impulse take him further and control him. It may be his only chance, and it may ruin it, but he have to try before he let any more time pass.

She is in shock on the leaves when she feels the lips of Matty on top of hers. She doesn't understand what's happening, or if it's really happening. The only thing she remembers afterwards is feeling Matty's hand squeezing her cheek with soft caresses. He kisses as much as he can, and after a while she gets used to the movement.

They go on like this, without saying a word for many minutes. Their sequence and their need is to kiss until the lack of breath wakes them up, smile with their noses stuck and merge again. Maty tastes like mint and chocolate, so it's the flavor she'll love the most for the next two years. Teenagers at the height of their purest love.

"Didn't I tell you? I would win." Matty comments when both feel they have shared too much saliva, but he does not take his hand off her cheek.

The wind is blowing in both heads. They have never known love this way, and they will remember it so well for the years that this love lasts, and for a few more.

Actually, and though Matty doesn't know it yet, she, sitting in Matty's house, is thinking about the same fall of memories. She feels like she's about to die and the best years and moments of her life go by, they've always had that facility of telepathic connection without having to try. Also because, for a long time, it was the memory they most enjoyed in years.

Matty then sees, in his memories, everything he's longed for for so many years. Midnight getaways, intense kissing at nightclubs, family meals, she dressed in him on Sundays, family trips, snow wars with her kisses sunk in the snow. He sees fireworks now that he remembers her, how he was first in everything for her and how she has marked him even more than he can say.

After that comes the band, and even before and after the previous names. But he focuses on when the band is already confirmed as Drive Like i Do and then like 1975, he sees her sitting at the table listening to them rehearsing, he sees heer at the clubs drinking beer and screaming crazy when he comes out in his most misaligned ensemble.

Matty may never have said it like that, but the girl he fell in love with is part of the band just like them. Almost the entire first album has its muse, in each of the stanzas and in each of the notes of the compass. She has followed him for all these years, it has been his greatest point of inspiration and of genuine and re-created love. She has given him the best years when he was twenty, he has written the songs he enjoys most thanks to her.

But equally, to say that he hasn't forgotten her or that he's remembered her like that for fifteen years without seeing her since she left in her twenties, would be lying. He remembered her for years, but then he was no longer present in her mind.

She can't judge him. Maybe she waited longer, but she had to move on anyway.

But it's okay, they existed at the time they had what. They learned enough from each other to remember each other fondly.

"You think about that autumn too, didn't? "During all this trance, the connection has become stronger. The discomfort is ignored, and she ends up sitting next to him.

"You are inside my mind, literally." He laughs with his eyes full of glass. He just had a recession that knocked him down. "Yes, I thought about it."

"That autumn was the best of my life. The fucking golden time." She confesses, with the moon now fully reflecting her. He looks at her with a longing smile, he also misses feeling so complete. "I have loved you for so many years and I think I could do it for more."

She complains hugging herself. Matty leaves the previous state and now the alcohol seems to have lost its effect. He extends his hand to put it behind the brunette girl's back and draw her in. The woman's head rests on his chest.

"I have loved you too, you know? The first album is about you." He kisses her hair, but she can't help but cry. They are breaking up with each other next to them and that's why they prefer not to be seen. It's too strong for both. "I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" She looks up. The brown eyes meet the eyes of the british man.

"I-I screwed up that June afternoon, and I carried the blame for many years. I've never really been able to apologize, and I know the last thing you got from me was a horrible argument. I'm sorry, it won't fix something so many years later, but it's sincere." He manages to loosen a gear that has been weighing on him for a long time. He finds serenity in the brightness of the moon, and though he knows he can't go back in time, when she intertwines his hands he thinks he hasn't gone too far.

"Thank you for that. I know it's your party, but you don't have to cry to the end." She kisses his cheek and wipes his tears with her fingernails painted dark red, then returns to his neck. She repents and prefers to sit in front of him. "But it was true, wasn't it? Did you fuck everybody in this town?" She asks, without any resentment or sense of judgment.

"You compromised me, honey." He nods nervously accompanied by a laugh. In fact, he's still crying, but he's feeling much better. More airy, more connected and more peaceful. "I missed the car and the argument."

The two laugh at each other, it's an atmosphere that has now become more comfortable than ever. She has got her makeup destroyed by tears and he is s getting water marks through the seams of his shirt.

"The end of that hallway was fateful." She ironizes it with a recharged energy that dances inside. It feels as if she is now the final part of a song that breaks the melody and raises the instruments to a higher level to close it in the greatest ecstasy. "Even so, maybe you were right a few years ago. You needed more than me." She points to itself and then points to the atmosphere.

"Sorry, I don't get it." He feels bewitched by her words, but is so deep inside that he can't even think about what she's saying.

He just knows she comes, again. He sees her crawling and crawling up to his lap. He's afraid that this will still be a bad trick in his head and that tomorrow she'll never have been here. She'll be in another country, with someone else, and without him. His heart pumps like it has seldom done.

He knows they're soul mates, or he used to know, and now he's reconfirming it. Now there's only one thing that separates them and one thing that could bring them together.

"You needed a cigarette, alcohol and a sad conversation." She finally answers, as she settles down to her mercy on his lap. Matty feels like he has a fever when he feels the back of her palm on his face. It's been floating for over 15 minutes. "As i do."

After this, it just happens.

After 15 years, they're kissing in Matty's backyard. The two cry in between, because they haven't recovered from the emotional delirium they just had, but the fireworks they once had at eighteen come back the second their lips touch.

He hasn't changed, Matty still smells like chocolate and mint. She neither, she tastes the same as always does, she still tastes well enough to satiate Matty. They remain exactly the same for each other and what they still need.

The kiss does not have a taste to be described by or a unique feeling. It is the taste of remembrance and reunion, of melancholy, of adolescence, it is pure nostalgia in its splendor. It tastes like sadness, the tears of the last time they argued, and in turn it tastes as the ice cream they ate holding hands in the park, the chocolate they always gave each other as a gift. It tastes as Christmas food and the summer breeze. It's all together in one, and that's why they don't bother to feel sorry for how the waterfalls in the eyes accumulate coming down later.

A kiss, that's all. Matty doesn't want to think, but he inevitably does and finds only two options.

Tomorrow you will both remember this and you will both retire by lowering your guard and remember it as a secret. There is no one around to prove the presence and existence of the woman he has there, no one has seen her and the easiest excuse is to say that he simply confused everything with someone else because of the amount of beer. Or they could tempt fate and stay there, they could heal the wound and they could try again to have the best they ever had.

But now, does it matter?

"Hey." She puts pressure on his hair. He opens his eyes feeling fuller and more human than ever. "Happy birthday, Matty. The birthday boy always needs a gift."

let me know what you think about it. my taglist is always open. 🤍

#matty healy #matty the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty fic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy 1975 #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x oc #matty healy x you #matty x reader #matty x you #matty healy x reader #matty healy angst #matty35 #birthday matty #the 1975 fanfic

[fatuismooches]

Hi!!! This is my first time saying anything here, so yayyy! But I say that one ask from another anon talking about how Dottore had never recorded fragile!reader's voice before and then forgot what it sounds like, and my brain made some jumps and--

I like to think that sometimes, whether when Dottore is just working in the room while reader sleeps (I like to think that he's modified himself enough that he doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans) or if he's also in the bed with you, that sometimes, reader's sleeping form reminds him a little too much of when reader was in a coma. Or perhaps, even worse, and that reader's time had come while he was sleeping/working. Immediately, he has to reassure himself that you're not, in fact, dead, by either going to check their pulse and keeping his hand there longer than it needs to be (what if they die the second he takes it off??) or, if he was closer to them or sleeping with them (in the literal sense), by even just listening to it. And he tries to rationalize it with himself (bc he's so i denial, I already know it) by being like "noooo, i'm not worried!! I'm a great doctor, and I have nothing to worry about!! I'm just... checking for abnormalities!!" as if he isn't just doing it to make sure they're still alive.

Idk, the thought just popped into my head. He's lost them before without a chance of saying goodbye, and he never wants it to happen again, especially if this time they'll be gone for good.

I'd like to think that reader wasn't really aware of it until one night when he was making a little more noise than usual, and they woke up groggily to find him with their ear on their chest, desperately holding onto you as if you were going to die any second. And then the second he realized you were awake, moved off was like "Hello, I'm not doing anything sus whattt"

So now reader knows he does it, but allows it because they think it's kind of cute, but also because they know that he would never admit his fears.

Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I don't know if this actually makes any sense. But slay!!

Thank you for feeding us Dottore content, and I hope you have a good day or night!!

You've known Zandik for a long time. So you are very aware that he has weaknesses. Yes, even though the scholar tried to hide it, his walls would slowly chip away during those late nights spent in the dorm or on expeditions. But Dottore? After you woke up, you wondered if Dottore had any weaknesses. Dottore seemed to be a man of no fear, but perhaps you should have expected that because what would someone as God-like as him have to fear now? He has much power in his grasp, surely there is nothing that could bother him. He's no longer the same Zandik you once knew, and that's okay really, but you just wonder to yourself sometimes. Little did you know Dottore's one and only fear was about you.

Il Dottore considers himself a rational man in every possible subject area. Yes, he does not allow himself to be swayed by anything as irrational as emotion and instead focuses on logic. Whether his final decision is cruel or unethical is not something he cares about. But you... you are the exception. You are the variable he cannot control. And so irrationality is one of the things he despises, swore to himself he'd never be a victim of, but here he was anyway. Succumbing to an irrational mindset is the last thing he thought he'd do.

Often times when Dottore sleeps with you, he doesn't actually sleep. He gets into the bed to appease you, because it brings you comfort, (your words) lays there for a bit until you fall asleep, and resumes his work. He is just far, far too busy to stay. But, nowadays, he finds it even harder than usual to say. Why? Because of his irrational mind, once again. He needs to know that you are alive. Which is a dumb fear really, you're not going to die, you're not going to leave, your body is stable (for now) so there's no need to worry. But he needs to know. He needs confirmation. You know. He really hates that you've done this to him. He hates it. But he can't blame you, only himself, because if he cured you already he would never have to deal with irrationality again.

Dottore is used to the quietness of a human heart, from his experiments of course, clicking his tongue in annoyance from how easily they died and feeling no emotion. But your heart, if your heart stopped... well, his madness would not be transcribed to paper very well, because it would be too hard to describe. But he denies that. And he especially denies it to you. He denies it, so that's why he finds himself counting your heart's beats per minute anyway. But now you know that even the great Il Dottore has a fear and weakness. After all, when it's only the two of you, he is only Zandik, the same man who fell hard for you all those centuries ago. But that's okay. You promised to always be there, even if he doesn't want you to be.

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #another day another fragile reader angst 😚😚 it's a lifestyle at this point <33 #thank YOU for feeding us anon i love this. it totally made sense and was SO GOOD!! #ugh i adore this :(( i love giving villains irrational fears

[acescorazon]

Title: Changes

Chapter: 8/?

Rating: M

Word count: 2054

Chapter excerpt:

Buggy would choose his own comfort over his pride and happiness a thousand times. He wants to live a comfortable, peaceful life. He doesn’t really have to like Mihawk, he just has to put up with him and pretend they’re friends. He wants the beatings and insults to stop, that’s all he wants. He wants to go back to being happy or being the closest thing to being happy like he was before Cross Guild formed. He needs this ally. He needs a cordial relationship with Hawkeye. He hates him, but he wants everything to just STOP.

Buggy forces one of his signature smiles across his lips, “Okay… Let’s give it a try. Yeah, let’s do it, let’s have dinner together. This will be good for us…” Just who is he trying to convince? Himself or Mihawk? The sentence just left his mouth, and he already feels a sense of dread rising in the pit of his stomach, but what else is there to do? Nothing seems like the right option, and he’s tired of having to fight with himself. He just wants it all to end. 

|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|Ch5|Ch6|Ch7|

Buggy shouldn’t be reconsidering Mihawk’s dinner invitation right now, but he is. He’s stupid, right? This is just some ploy to get Buggy to let his guard down and then when he least expects it, Mihawk is going to attack him. No, wait…Mihawk doesn’t have to stoop so low and do that kind of thing, and he knows that. If Mihawk wanted to beat his face in, he could do it whenever he wanted to, he doesn’t need to put on an act and deceive Buggy…Yet, Buggy’s mind still has trouble accepting the idea of Mihawk genuinely offering Buggy his friendship, and instead continues to come up with all sorts of theories about how Mihawk is going to betray him and hurt him like he always does. Buggy doesn’t want to get hurt…

In the same breath, the same brain that is telling him that Mihawk is going to betray him and laugh in his face afterwards, is also telling him that maybe there’s a chance Mihawk isn’t lying. Maybe there’s a chance that Mihawk really does regret hurting Buggy. Maybe there’s an ounce of humanity in Mihawk, and Buggy just hasn’t really seen it outside of Mihawk’s training sessions with Buggy’s men. 

Oh, but, then again, Mihawk really doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. He’s been so awful. He’s hurt Buggy time and time again, and he’s made him feel so worthless and less than human. He’s the one who made Buggy want to die yet somehow afraid to die at the exact same time. Buggy has never done anything to deserve this type of treatment from Crocodile or Mihawk, yet they’ve been treating him like a piece of trash since the very first day they showed up on Emptee Bluffs Island. 

But…Maybe he should just accept this apology, even if it’s not one hundred percent genuine. Buggy’s so, so tired of taking a beating from his fellow members of Cross Guild and living a fucking nightmare, so maybe he should say he forgives Mihawk and move on, even if he could never truly forgive Mihawk in his heart. Buggy needs all the allies he can get right now, and if being Mihawk’s ‘friend’ means that the beatings will stop and he will potentially convince Crocodile to leave Buggy alone as well… Then maybe…Maybe accepting Mihawk’s apology wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Buggy feels so many things, so many conflicting things and he’s afraid to make a decision because what if he makes the wrong choice? He just wants his life to go back to being peaceful and happy. He knows that’s a little difficult right now considering his current status, but… he’d like to have as many good times as possible while he’s still alive. 

Buggy has no idea how long he was just standing in the middle of the training grounds, staring at Mihawk, but it must have been long enough for Mihawk to decide that Buggy wasn’t going to make a decision on his own and try to gently urge him to join him for dinner. “I assure you, Buggy,” Mihawk says with a sigh, “I mean you absolutely no harm. I simply want to improve our relationship.” Okay, but how can Buggy take that for the truth? “I know you were unbelievably drunk when you told me all those things the other night, but I am not mad at you for speaking your mind. In fact, I respect you for having the courage to stand up to me.”

The mere mention of the other night when Buggy got piss drunk and then confronted Mihawk brings back embarrassing memories that leave Buggy’s face burning. Ah, that… he really should have apologized for that, but then he got ‘sick’, and plus, he doesn’t like talking to Mihawk…and then on top of all that Mihawk’s been so weird and confusing lately, so he never really got the chance to… uh…you know. Mihawk chuckles, and the sound of his laughter snaps Buggy out of his panicked thoughts, “You don’t need to be embarrassed or anything.” He assures him, “I needed to hear that, and I know that a simple apology can’t make up for all that I've done, but I'm sorry and I really want us to start over again.” 

Buggy chews on his bottom lip. What does he do? This should be an easy decision for him. He should just tell Mihawk to fuck off… But, he’s struggling to say those words, and it’s not just because he’s afraid that Mihawk will beat the hell out of him either. This is stupid, why is he so confused? What are all these conflicting emotions and thoughts? Why can’t he just tell Mihawk that he doesn’t want to have dinner with him, nor does he want to forgive him, ever…? 

What does he do?!

What does he do?

….

Buggy would choose his own comfort over his pride and happiness a thousand times. He wants to live a comfortable, peaceful life. He doesn’t really have to like Mihawk, he just has to put up with him and pretend they’re friends. He wants the beatings and insults to stop, that’s all he wants. He wants to go back to being happy or being the closest thing to being happy like he was before Cross Guild formed. He needs this ally. He needs a cordial relationship with Hawkeye. He hates him, but he wants everything to just STOP.

Buggy forces one of his signature smiles across his lips, “Okay… Let’s give it a try. Yeah, let’s do it, let’s have dinner together. This will be good for us…” Just who is he trying to convince? Himself or Mihawk? The sentence just left his mouth, and he already feels a sense of dread rising in the pit of his stomach, but what else is there to do? Nothing seems like the right option, and he’s tired of having to fight with himself. He just wants it all to end. 

Mihawk seems just as surprised by Buggy’s willingness as Buggy himself is, “Ah! Really? Then how about we have our dinner tonight?” Wait, he wants to have that dinner tonight? Uh, wait, Buggy thought he’d have a few days to mentally prepare himself for all this, he didn’t think that Mihawk would rush into this whole thing like it’s nothing. Is it seriously possible for him to have a change of heart so quickly, and for him to actually be eager to be Buggy’s friend? God, Buggy hates this, he’s never been so confused in his life. He doesn’t want to say he liked the old Mihawk better, because he didn’t, but at least the old Mihawk was easy to predict. This newly changed and remorseful Mihawk is so… God, he’s weird, and that’s the only accurate way to describe him. 

Buggy’s voice cracks slightly as he finally mutters a reply, “Uh, yeah…Yeah, that sounds good…” He tells Mihawk, but he’s lying. He doesn’t know how he can just go about his day normally when he knows that he’s going to have dinner with Mihawk later tonight. Mihawk smiles at him again, which only adds to Buggy’s feelings of dread and confusion, and after that, he tells Buggy that they can either eat together in the tent they use as a cafeteria on the island or that he and Buggy can go back to Mihawk’s tent and enjoy dinner and a glass of wine. Honestly, Buggy would rather eat in the comfort and safety of the cafeteria, where there’s a chance someone might be around at all times, but he also knows how his children are, and if Mihawk and Buggy are seen together in the cafeteria… God only knows what they’ll do or how they’ll react... 

In the end, Buggy leaves the decision to Mihawk, and he should have known what option Mihawk would choose. An aloof loner such as Mihawk would obviously pick the comfort of his own living quarters over the chaotic and noisy cafeteria Buggy has set up on his island for all his men to enjoy, but he’s still a little surprised by Mihawk’s choice regardless. “Alright, I'll see you at my tent at say…Eight?” Mihawk suggests, and all Buggy can do is nod because what else can he do? He’s made his bed and now he’s going to have to lie in it, but he’s definitely not going to get drunk again, he’s really not the type of person who should be drinking…ever. 

Buggy tries to relax and go about his day as he normally would, but the horrifying knowledge that he’s going to be having dinner with someone whom he’s supposed to hate and fear lingers in his mind, refusing to leave. He constantly wonders if he’s doing the right thing or if he’s doing something stupid that will result in him getting hurt or worse. Yet, he doesn’t want to go back on his word and tell Mihawk that he doesn’t actually want to have dinner with him because then what…? What if that pisses Mihawk off or causes unneeded tension to rise between the two?

Good grief, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to be handling all this.  

Eight o'clock approaches a lot quicker than he would have liked it to, and Buggy still isn’t mentally prepared for all this. Why is it that when he wants his days to go by quickly, they don’t? Instead, they seem to drag on for hours and hours at a time, always moving at a snail's pace no matter what Buggy does. But then, when he wants his days to slow down, they often pass him by in the blink of an eye. Is that not unfair? Buggy didn’t want to have dinner with Mihawk so soon… He needed more time to prepare for this...

The dinner his men cooked tonight happens to be another sea king, and Buggy’s so tired of eating beasts that look like they come straight out of fairy tales, but sea kings are the best thing for a booming island like Emptee Bluffs island, which has hundreds of mouths to feed now and is only growing in the numbers. Buggy grabs his food and a drink from the cafeteria, and then idles for a moment, unsure if he should really be having dinner alone with Mihawk in his tent.

He has to do this though, he has to get on Mihawk’s good side and start over with him. Things can’t remain the same between them, they have to change.

Buggy takes a deep breath and tries to calm his racing heart down a bit, slowly making his way towards Miahwk’s tent. He really doesn’t want to do this. He should just stand Mihawk up or send one of his men to tell Mihawk that he’s suddenly busy, but… he wants to live a good life. He needs to do this, and finally turn things around so he doesn’t have to live a life of constant fear… Who cares if he isn’t ready to forgive Mihawk yet or if he doesn’t want to forgive him at all? He should just shut up and do what’s right for himself for once…

It’s okay, everything will be okay. Mihawk said he wouldn’t hurt him, and he even said he’d put his sword away…It’s okay, everything is going to be just okay. Buggy seriously just needs to calm down and breathe. It’s fine, he’s fine. This is good for him. Maybe. Probably.

Buggy blinks and all of a sudden he’s in front of Mihawk’s tent, holding his dinner tray. He doesn’t even remember the walk over here, he just spaced out the entire trip as he tried to convince himself that what he’s doing is the right thing, and that maybe, just maybe Mihawk is being sincere… But then again, maybe he’s n—

Oh, for the love of God! 

“Hawkeye?” Buggy calls out in a soft whisper, and when he doesn’t get a response the first time, he tries calling out to him again, this time with a little more volume in his voice, “Hey, Hawkeye, I'm here…!” he announces, and as soon as he gets permission to come into Mihawk’s tent, he takes another deep breath and proceeds to rip the band-aid off. 

God, what is he doing?

#one piece #cross guild #changes #my writing

[gabessquishytum]

So we all agree that Hob is the World's Greatest Lover, 600 year reigning Pussy Eating Champion, etc etc. But think of the comedy potential if instead he was just...kind of mediocre at sex. After all these centuries he's still satisfied with a quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and he's not a particularly generous lover. A lot of the sex he's had over the years has been with prostitutes, so he doesn't feel very guilty about not making sure they finish, and his wives and long-term partners have mostly been a bit prudish/sheltered because of the time periods they lived in (some of them may not have even been aware that female orgasms were a thing). But none of them ever complained, so he assumed he was pretty good at sex.

And sure, he's had experiences with men (he's been a sailor at times, after all), but back in his day oral sex with any gender was kind of unhygienic and gross (cue the "ripe smegmatic sausage" meme) so the man's never given a blowjob in his unnaturally long life. Now, he *thinks* he knows all there is to know about sex because, to be fair, he has probably done it more times than any other human alive. But the reality is, his idea of "kinky" is any position other than missionary.

So he's surprised (and his ego is a bit bruised) when Dream seems disappointed but amused after their first time. He's worried Dream is going to dump him (and he's beating himself up, thinking he's so stupid for ever believing he could live up to Dream's standards), but Dream just smiles fondly at him and promises to teach him everything and train him to be a worthy lover for an Endless.

So after that, every night when Hob is in the Dreaming they work on his sexual education. Training montage: Dream makes him practice sucking his dick and eating his pussy until he really is the Pussy Eating Champion. Dream expects to come at least three times before Hob is even allowed to think about his own orgasm. Dream fucks his brains out and makes him a plug and a cock cage out of dreamstuff to wear in the waking, so he's always ready and can't cum unless it's on Dream's cock. Hob is, of course, a very eager and studious pupil, and he's more than happy to do anything Dream wants; he's realizing he's actually a lot kinkier than he thought. He loves being dommed by Dream, and Dream considers his education to be complete when Hob is able to successfully Dom *him* (which may or may not have been his goal from the beginning). The student has become the master, etc etc.

I love it here, you guys are so good to me <3 bad sex is so one of my kinks, especially coupled with a lil humiliation kink.

It's entirely fair to believe that Hob might have got a little bit too comfortable over the years. Recently his sexual experience has very much aligned with his modern image - middle class, a little boring, would probably rather just have a cup of tea. He's been sleeping with women mostly, and sadly he's been lulled into a false sense of security when they assure him that yes they did cum, honestly. Even in the decades before that a lot of what he did was drug fuelled and he can barely remember most of it.

Dream is a little disappointed, but on the whole he's amused and quite looking forward to giving Hob an education - after firmly telling him that his dick is nothing special and he really needs to work on his stamina (Hob is sitting there in stunned silence wondering how on earth this conversation is making him hard.)

Hob spends the next few months not being allowed to put his dick anywhere near Dream anyway. He's only allowed to pleasure Dream with his mouth, and only very occasionally allowed to cum. Dream is the strictest of teachers and resorts to corporal punishment when his student doesn't behave (spoiler alert, Hob also enjoys this more than he ought to).

Slowly Hob picks up the skills that he either lost or never had in the first place, and Dream becomes much more agreeable with him. After nearly half a year Hob is finally allowed to fuck Dream again, only this time he's wearing a cock ring and his purpose is only to bring his lover pleasure. Dream is so pleased with his progress that he even lets Hob cum inside him.

Before long Hob is coming home from work, grabbing Dream by the waist and hauling him over the sofa to tongue-fuck him until he screams. Which was more or less what Dream was hoping for during their first encounter. He's quite happy to sit on Hob’s (admittedly quite nice) dick these days, because he knows that Hob’s primary objective will forevermore be to make him cum.

Even if he does occasionally have to tie Dream up to do it. Oh yes, Dream needs to be educated too - about the perils of working too much and not letting off steam. Hob is only too happy to take on the role of teacher, this time.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw humiliation

[muzzleroars]

How many fallen angels do you think there are in hell? there must be a few if Mike was able to observe the process enough to try it himself. Are they all secured in Treachery or have they been hiding from machines and angels in the other layers?

Would they welcome Gabe to the club?

oooooh yes the other fallen angels!!! in the inferno, the fallen angels are met only once the poets arrive at the gates of dis - that is, from heresy downward - so i think of them being largely concentrated in those circles (despite their sins coming from any of the layers). there are rare fallen angels that exist outside of dis and make it to the upper layers, particularly now with the angelic presence in hell much lower, but v1 never encountered them because of this scarcity. likewise, while heresy is meant to have its gatekeepers, gabrel had likely scattered any fallen angels that surrounded the cathedral before v1's arrival as the last thing they would want to deal with is a pissed off archangel lol so i have any fallen angels (after lucifer's fall) living in violence and the layers past it, though there aren't too terribly many compared to the other denizens. i actually have them very secretive by nature, ashamed in the way gabriel initially was and, like the sinners of the lower layers in the inferno, not wanting themselves known to outsiders while they can be brutal to the sinners living with them. gabriel would absolutely make them curious though - he is incredibly powerful and high-ranking amongst the choirs, but most of all he was an archangel. someone like that hasn't fallen since lucifer, so i think they would spy on him from shadows since they still don't wish to be seen by v1 (considered an outsider despite being inhuman)

gabriel really doesn't know how to feel about them, as so many of them have been warped by the cruelty of hell and have lost the sense of who they once were. it's a bit haunting really, catching glimpses of them and half-recognizing a face he hasn't seen in eons. they're all still here, all the angels that were lost that gabriel helped to expel - he expected hostility actually, but very few come out to see him. i do like the idea that he eventually speaks with some that he once had fondness for (famously, there is a watcher that was close with uriel), though they are not the angels he once knew. importantly, though, gabriel doesn't hold this against them and instead finds his anger turned on god, for allowing a place like this to exist that his children, angel or human, were cast into to be forever forgotten as they twist and rot. because he sees sparks of who they were, especially when they hear his voice, but how could they not become brutish shells of their former selves in a place like this? these are angels hollowed out, burned of everything they once were and left still alive as ashes. they are envious of gabriel, he hears it in their coarse voices, yet he wonders if he might still end up like them one day.

but i think there is a fallen angel he once knew that tells him he should go to his circle, go all the way down to the wastes of cocytus. go see him. gabriel has avoided the lucifer issue intensely, keeping away of the depths of treachery because he is terrified of what he will find, to see how god ruined him and what destroyed michael from the inside out. and that beside, what could his presence serve lucifer? but the other angel is right. he should know. so my idea for lucifer is that all the other angels that fell with him are sort of...a part of him at this point. they have no higher thought or functioning, instead only able to feel pain, while lucifer has been left mentally intact but frozen. he is a mass of angels all fused with him and encased in ice, crying out in their agony but unable to produce anything else. lucifer still thinks, still lives as himself, but while their torment is individual, he feels each and every one of them on top of his own. and he is desperately alone despite the thousands that make up his massive form (sort of in the shape of a dragon's body, but it's impossible to tell from how mutilated it is as well as how it seems to disappear into the ice). he does not speak, he does not acknowledge even gabriel's presence, though gabriel can't seem to get too close without the hulking mass lashing out at him in what seems to be pure instinct. all they do is cry, thousands of voices calling out in their suffering as they have for the countless millennia they've spent like this. but gabriel doesn't want to get close, he doesn't want to see any more even if he knows he'll never stop hearing them now and weak appeals are drowned out entirely before he has to flee. this is what god does. this was his justice against those who only questioned (gabriel has read the testaments now, they were fed lies about lucifer) and i think this just. genuinely breaks something in gabriel.

#GOT SIDETRACKED BY LUCIFER AT THE END....bc i got my idea of him pretty figured out #he would likely only ever respond to michael. and it sure would be. something #BUT anyway i think gabriel has a distant relationship with other fallen angels #esp if he maintains a relationship with the other archangels #but he does see them occasionally. and i think they're sort of comforted by him #cake answers #fallen gabriel #lucifer #rise and fall au

[melverie]

So......about Solomon

Before we get started: Discussions on this post are more than welcomed as long as you keep it civil and constructive. At the end of the day, this is still a game about fictional characters, so there's no reason to literally harass others over liking or disliking a character If it truly upsets you that much--which is valid btw--than the best thing to do would probably be to simply not engage with the other party, and not harass them over it; you won't change anyone's mind that way. I know most of you aren't like this but unfortunately it still needs to be said Also, if you want me to add sources to some points, feel free to ask! I've tried to mention the chapters as I go, but I might still have forgotten some. Some of the arguments I make are also hidden behind certain player options; if you can't find them, fell free to ask about them and I'll gladly tell you Also also, general spoiler warning for both the og game and Nightbringer. I'm not really covering anything specific after lesson 60 in the og game and lesson 14 in NB, but I might still mention things from later lessons

Now, onto the actual topic. There've been quite a few arguments against Solomon in the past few days, but I mostly just want to focus on those three:

Solomon wanted to force MC into killing Lucifer at the end of season 2 in the og game

Solomon betrayed the brothers and keeps hiding behind "wanting to protect humanity" as a scapegoat for his actions (putting these two together bc I think they go hand in hand, but it'll make more sense later)

Solomon tricked Asmodeus into a pact without his consent

This entire thing is very long, so feel free to jump around if one point interests you more than another

Solomon wanted to force MC into killing Lucifer at the end of season 2 in the og game

[mainly 38-12, og & 38-15, og]

He did, yeah. But here's the thing

They were all forced into a corner since the fate of all three realms was on the line here, and with the Ring of Light's whereabouts still being unknown at the time, they literally had no other choice if they wanted to save everyone. It wasn't Solomon that randomly decided the only way to restore the Night Dagger's power was by killing a powerful demon, it's always been that way. And he can't just be like "Oh well, let's switch strategies then and focus on finding the Ring of Light" when the entire cast (minus Simeon) has no idea where the ring is and the last time any of them saw it was centuries to millennia ago, if not longer. They don't have the time to search for it considering all the destruction MC's Ring has already caused in such a short period of time

Solomon first tells MC to do kill Luci, only to add that he was just joking and knows MC would never actually go through with it. Then, he says that if they wouldn't do it, he'd do it himself. Which kinda sounds like forcing, right? Except this happens [38-15, og; pic below]:

He was prepared to, which doesn't clear him of trying to indirectly force MC, let's get that straight. But ultimately he drops it and accepts that maybe their only option really is to just die here. This is also the only time we see him acting against his beliefs btw

Also yes, Solomon might not have been the one that decided they needed to kill a powerful demon, but he seems to be the one that settled on said demon being Lucifer. The only other viable options would most likely be Diavolo and Barbatos. Don't know if the Demon King in his vegetative state still counts but similar to Diavolo, killing him would probably be seen as a direct declaration of war, so they're out. And from a strategic standpoint, Barbatos is the better option to be kept alive simply because of his powers. There most likely also is some kind of sentimental attachment at play here since Solomon is much closer to Barbatos than he is to Lucifer. None of justifies killing Lucifer of course, but we also need to acknowledge that everyone's hands were tied, they were out of time and given the circumstances, this was probably the best decision they could have come to (until Simeon showed up with the Ring of Light, of course)

Solomon betrayed the brothers and keeps hiding behind "wanting to protect humanity" as a scapegoat for his actions

First of no, he did not betray them. Ever since the end of season 2 Solomon has made it clear that his ultimate goal is to protect humanity and that he, similarly to Diavolo in regards to the Devildom and its denizens*, would do anything in his power to protect the human world and its inhabitants [38-15, og; pic in the point above] [38-19, og; pic below]

*friendly reminder that Belphie was charged with treason for planning to destroy the human world, since in Diavolo's eyes that would have severely damaged the chance of peace between the three realms [13-14, og]

Solomon continuously sticks to his beliefs. He said he'd protect humanity, and that's what he's doing. He never extended that kind of protection to the brothers, he never made any false promises, he didn't betray them in any way, nothing

I'd also like to point out he's not actively going out of his way to antagonize demons, or angels, or whatever. In fact, he even explicitly says that he does not wish to make an enemy out of either party [10-A, NB; pic below], which of course also extends to the brothers

You can even outright ask him if he's planning on backstabbing the brothers, and this is what he has to say [11-8, NB; pic below]:

And you know what? That is a valid concern. They can't say for sure what the future holds, and they just recently had to deal with the entire Ring situation that could have very easily destroyed all three realms, so wanting to be cautious and to be prepared for the worst makes sense. He also makes it clear that he does not wish to fight the brothers if it can be avoided, so there's that

And no, he's also not tricking MC into siding against the brothers in Nightbringer. Rather, he just wants to know that they're fighting for humanity should the relationship between humans and demons in general ever turn hostile. He puts the cards open on the table and gives a proper explanation to his reasoning for siding with humanity [11-8, NB], and once again goes a little further into detail before MC gives their answer [14-16, NB; pic below]. Plus it's up to the player if they choose to stand with him or not, and no matter what you choose, he accepts the decision

Also keep in mind that season 3 heavily suggests that the human world at large has no idea that angels and demons even exist, so MC is pretty much the only one he can even ask to help protect humanity alongside him to begin with. He can't just go up to a random guy on the street and ask them to fight something who's existence they aren't even aware of in the first place

Imo Solomon also seems to know more about where things might be heading than he lets on, with him actually knowing Nightbringer and whatnot, so granting himself some peace of mind by making sure he has at least one ally is perfectly reasonable

Also, Solomon is very much aware that he is not infallible. For example, he states that he realized he still has a lot more to learn about demons [60-20, og], and he even admits that he doesn't always know what the right course of action to any given situation is, which was part of the reason he first asked MC to help him with protecting humanity all the way back in season 2 [38-19, og; first pic below]. In season 2 he actually wanted for MC to be aware of what's happening, but it was Diavolo that decided it would be better to keep them in the dark for the time being [36-18, og]. He trusts MC's judgment and that they will help him make the correct decisions [14-16, NB; second pic below]

Solomon tricked Asmodeus into a pact without his consent

Before I get into anything, let's summarize the base situation so everyone's on the same page. This is based on the things Asmo tells us [53-16, og], as well as the things Sol tells us [6-18, NB]:

Asmo was trying to flirt with someone but their friends kept on telling him to leave them alone since he's a demon -> Asmo's dejected by this and goes to a tavern in Solomon's hometown

Solomon notices and feels sorry for him; he offers to talk to him and they chat for a bit

Asmo lets it slip that he's Lucifer's younger brother

they get drunk and end up forming a pact -> Solomon says that he was only able to forge a pact with Asmo because his judgment was impaired at the time

Right of the bat--yes, the way Solomon got his pact with Asmo is not okay. I'm not putting that up for debate. He fully took advantage of Asmo here, and there's nothing that can excuse that. I also want to make it very clear that it is in no way my intention to relativize this in any way. The way he went about getting this pact is, to put it simply, fucked up and I do not wish to condone that in any way. With the following points I simply want to explain how I see things. Maybe it'll put things in a slightly different perspective for you, maybe it won't. Now, I hope I made that clear enough, so let's continue

The way I see it, Asmo seems to be pretty okay with the pact. From the way he acts around Solomon in the present day all the way to him describing his reaction to the pact as just a "did I really sign that" [53-16, og], nothing seems to suggest that he holds any ill feelings towards Solomon, and personally I don't see any reason to be angry for someone who himself seems to take no issue with a situation that is directly about him

If it were as upsetting to Asmodeus as some make it out to be, surely he would have found a way to get out of it? Asmo is one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom; if he truly wanted to break the pact he could have just killed Solomon and that's it. And if the pact itself somehow prevented him from doing so, I'm sure Lucifer would have more than gladly stepped in. Heck, I bet all of the brothers would have made it into a family thing in a heartbeat if Asmo wanted out but couldn't do anything himself. As Thirteen told MC, Solomon is immortal, not unkillable

But speaking of Lucifer, shouldn’t the same sentiment about forcing others into a pact be held toward him, too? Because he basically did the same thing with MC. This is what happens when you tell him you don’t want a pact with him [20-14, og; pic below]:

Yes, this comes down to player choice and yes, you need to make the pact for story continuity, but it ultimately does not change the fact that in-universe he forces MC into a pact if they say no

Also speaking of forcing others into a pact--Mammon and MC, anyone? Yes, MC did it because Levi asked them to so he could get his money back. We know they had no ill intentions. But you never know what the future holds and Levi literally proposed to basically hand over part of Mammon's agency over himself for the money Mammon owns him, to someone Levi has met about 5 minutes prior, knows nothing about and who's only been in the Devildom for a couple of hours at that point, no less. Lucifer also mentions that demons literally cannot resist temptation [4-10, og; pic below], so there literally was no way Mammon could have just noped out of that pact. We all know how badly he wants his credit card back, after all

To top it all of, we have MC's and Mammon's conversation in Nightbringer where Mammon explicitly says that he would only want to forge a pact with someone that is special to him [2-9, NB], and that he'd make sure to be their first pact [2-11, NB], yet he is forced into his pact with MC. A pact that ultimately turns out to be exactly what he wanted, but nonetheless he was stripped of the ability to say no when it was forged

And for the record, I'm not saying "oh, others did it too, so we shouldn't be so harsh on Solomon!!!" No! Forcing a demon into a pact isn't something that should be taken lightly. A pact literally means a demon hands a huge chunk of control of themself over to a human for as long as the pact exists. And on the other hand, for a human, making a pact with a demon usually means selling their soul. Neither party should EVER be forced into it. We of course don't know if MC actually sold their soul to Lucifer when they made their pact, but even if they didn't, Lucifer's "I won't belong to you. You will belong to me" speaks for itself

What I am trying to say here is that if you want to be mad at Solomon for forcing Asmo into a pact without Asmo's consent (which, again, is valid), you should also be mad at MC for forcing Mammon, and Lucifer for forcing MC into a pact

Anyway, back to Solomon now

Solomon actually admits that he used to treat demons like collectables--more or less, at least since he immediately follows the confession up with "just kidding" [14-14, NB]. Judging by what we've seen in the og game though, he seems to genuinely make an effort to better his relationship with the demons he has made a pact with, or at the very least with Asmo and Barbatos. I mean, the difference between Sol's relationship with Barbs in the og game vs in Nightbringer is night and day

In the present time, Asmo and Solomon are also super close. I literally cannot think of a single instance where they did not get along (though it might have happened like once or twice). You can literally pic any part in the og game to see their relationship play out, but some highlights include Solomon saying he got a huge oil painting of Asmodeus as his "permit" to summon Asmo across worlds [39-13, og] (which is not something you would allow someone you hate to do btw) and both of them mentioning that the two of them repeatedly hang out together in the human world [Proud Brothers, devilgram on Asmo's page, og], the hickey on Solomon's neck that's most likely Asmo's doing [Who Left the Hickey?, daily chat with Mammon, og]. Asmo (while drunk) is comfortable enough to tell Solomon that his cooking sucks and Solomon actually takes it to heart [47-16 hard mode, og]. Then there's Asmo's excitement at Solomon being in the Devildom for the first time [Proud Brothers, devilgram on Asmo's page, og; both of the pics below]

There's also that infamous chat pic of them doing face masks together (that I unfortunately don't know which chat it belongs to, so if someone could tell me, I'd appreciate it <3)

I don't know about you guys, but that's not typically an activity I do with someone I despise

So it's clear that current day Asmo holds no malice toward Solomon

Which, finally, leaves us with the way they forged their pact in Nightbringer

[mainly 7-12, NB & 7-15, NB]

@impish-ivy already went over it in this post, especially in the tags (I highly suggest checking out the reblogs as well btw), but to reiterate--Asmo was IN NO WAY forced into that pact. His brothers tried to talk him out of it, but at the end of the day Asmo willingly agreed to it. Yes, they were in a dangerous situation, and yes, Solomon used that as a basis to ask for the pact, but as ivy correctly points out in the tags, Lucifer could have easily handled the situation by himself, yet Asmo agreed regardless. By implying that Asmo was in any way, shape or form forced into that pact you're not only taking away a huge amount of his agency, but you also deny him his character moment and development that came with this scene. Asmo himself says that forging this pact will finally help him accept himself as a demon. Taking this moment from him is doing him a huge disservice

Aaaand that's pretty much all I have to say

If there's anything else you'd like to add, OR if there's anything you don't agree with, feel free to share! And once again, I'd like to remind everyone that civil and constructive discussions are more than welcomed on here!

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hope you have a great day! <3

#can't believe i'm writing something like this about some fictional guys that are loosely based on some other guys from the freaking bible #but here we are i guess #obey me #obey me swd #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mc #;mel's analyses #mel's starry musings

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Old Man Yaoi May Not Be So Old

So there’s a segment in the DSaF fandom that beleive Dave and Jack are visibly old men. I’m fine with it, I used to, and in fact love the designs especially because there’s seems to be an almost taboo of drawing old people to a point and it’s homely really great that people here are doing it, but I don’t think that’s actually true canonically like I used to. I must stress though DRAW THEM HOW YOU LIKE. They can be old or not it doesn’t concern me.

Both of them are corpses. In terms of age, yes, they are quite old, but corpses don’t tend to age. And we see this in DSAF with the Phones not aging visibly, perhaps it’s just that it’s stock photos but Harry, despite being Gen 1, is physically not old. Why? Because Harry isn’t alive. None of the phones are. The phones are just well preserved and act like living creatures.

You know what else isn’t alive but acts like it? Dave and Jack. While they’d be in terms of numbers, old, in DSAF 3, given their ages at which they died it’s unlikely they’d physically get any older. And don’t say some kinda magic thing because we know for a fact that both behave like corpses, especially Jack. Jack paints himself orange to look alive (a weird colour choice but I digress), he does this because his body is rotting, likely turning black or purple (this also means any cursed colour swap between the two, the Jack side may just not have put on his makeup yet lol). Jack is rotting, definitely not alive body behaviours. Dave also does not behave like a living person. How many of those do you know that can do what he does. There seems to be a consensus that Davetrap is rotting but Dave is too nothing happened to Davetrap to kickstart the process that would mean Dave could not have before, it’s likely the pests just got in because he was stationary and likely far slower.

Let’s also talk about their behaviour. It’s not great to go off of but Jack doesn’t act like a mature adult and neither does Dave, they act like they’re rather young adults still figuring themselves out. Jack especially is quite childish, as if he never got a chance to mature. You could bring up Dee, but Dee’s situation is far different. It doesn’t seem like Dee has actually mentally matured so much as she has been put in a position in which she has no choice but to take on a more mature role and tries to fit that, she has no reason to mentally age, and none of the other children have meaning if she actually got older there would have to be more to it. Dee is as old as she always was, any maturity added is not due to age but due to her situation. Dave and Jack are immature people, and with this in mind it paints a somewhat grim picture of the fact that they never got to mature.

One could mention the ending in which Jack dies of old age… but the phones also have beards here and Jack is actually established to be semi immortal so dying of old age just doesn’t make sense, he can die, but it seems like he gets back up. So let’s be real the beards are fake, and Jack probably ate something weird, and will be fine in like 12 minutes. The game probably ends when you die because it would be weird if it didn’t even if you do get back up.

The only time I’d say Jack permanently dies is when he’s burned. Which leaves no body behind, which by the same principle as the others, means there’s nothing left to come back which sucks for him because oops no soul either.

Jack can also get rabies but… this also doesn’t feel like a sign he is alive.

Dave actively does rot in the game as Davetrap, Jack rots constantly, it’s safe to say their bodies do not work like human ones especially considering not having organs is not something that kills Dave. At least not that we know.

With all of this in mind, yeah. They are corpses. And as I’ve said before, corpses do not age in DSAF physically or mentally, even Blackjack is incredibly immature if you actually look at his behaviour. He’s also an asshole who never gets character development but that’s a story for another time.

It actually makes more sense if they don’t age given the very little change in their behaviour or character between games even after a massive Timeskip nothing seems to have changed at all which makes sense logically too, because why would Fredbear give Jack the ability to age? Let’s be real here if Jack can age eventually that will become a problem given that he is immortal seemingly as long as he has a body to return to. There’s no reason to give him the ability to age and plenty of reasons not to.

Now that’s not to say their bodies don’t change, they do. And if you realistically want to draw DSAF 3 Jack in his most canon possible form… which I doubt many do… Jack doesn’t age he rots he’s probably just a lot worse for wear if he hasn’t found a way to stop rotting yet. Him being an old man is unlikely, but a very decomposed zombie? More likely than you’d think.

And before anyone brings up the tapes, Dave may just look like that, pretty much every piece of art in that game is by a different person who is not Doggo, while Dave seems to be a bit older Jack does not. The tapes are in the past if we are saying that is Dave’s age in DSAF 3, sorry no.

DSAF 3 has incredibly inconsistent art to a point I’d say fans can largely disregard it but that’s an essay for another time just know art in that game isn’t as canon as people seem to think it is. At least not by my observation.

Dave and Jack are old men in age, but not in body. No in body they are most likely the age they died at which seems to have been pretty young for both of them like we know Jack was in his early 20s and Dave is a few years older but also died at the very least a few months before Jack. They aren’t old men, at least not canonically.

I must stress I mean they probably are not canonically old because honestly the DSaF fandom needs to take a chill pill and stop being angry at people for making their own designs, literally do what you want as long as it’s not illegal or like super fucked up. Don’t make Jack 12 and Dave 60 and ship that, but if you want to draw them old be my guest. This essay was just my observation of the idea that the fandom calls them old men and people seem to think they are canonically but it just seems unlikely.

#dsaf #dayshift at freddy's #dsaf dave #dsaf jack #dsaf old sport #dsaf phone guy #shitpost #DSaF essay #literary analysis #again I must stress this is no slight against the people who draw them old #I love that shit #I’m just analyzing canon