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liveontelevision · 2 months

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R and R | Lucifer X OC!Reader

Another! Tadaaa

If i'm being totally honest, i was Stoned out of my mind when i wrote this, so i can't guarantee it's top shelf, but here ya go.

TW: some mentions of self-harm, suicide, but mostly fluff and suggestive stuff

Enjoy ;)

♡♡♡

You stumbled upon the renovated hotel directly after arriving in hell. It was a dark and confusing night, but you hadn't had the easiest life anyway. Barely getting by day to day, with a history of depression and self-harm, sometimes your only solution to your problems was to keep walking forward. So you did just that, leading you to a fantastical hotel that seemed to be giving away free rooms.

You entered the lobby, covered in dirt, blood, and whatever else was on the streets of hell. You worked as a waitress, and on an especially rough day, your break time was spent taking your own life. And here you are, in a pink and white striped, vintage uniform dress. Along with a little apron, that still had written orders on it in your pocket.

Looking an absolute mess, Charlie immediately took you in and fixed you up before rambling about the redemption aspect.

It was a miracle that you stumbled upon the clean and comfortable rooms available. It wasn't anything that fancy, but after being on the streets until your end, this was heaven.

After appreciating a significant amount of pampering, a hot shower, comfortable clean clothes, and a cushy bed, you were introduced to the rest of the hotel residents. Everyone seemed lovely, some.. interesting.. personalities, but nothing you weren't too intimidated by. Except for Alastor. The tall, shadowy figure put you entirely on edge, and you hated to admit that you were actually afraid of him.

Moving on -

You've been a resident at the hotel for 6 months! They did say redemption would take a while, but at this point, it was becoming hard to believe.. Still, in reality, why would you leave? You created a chosen family that can't be compared to your living family in any aspect. Not to mention the slightest crush on the king of hell himself.

It was something you were ignoring for weeks, but his humor and caring nature was too hard to ignore. The fact is, you start noticing little things when you develop feelings. How his eyes sparkled when he looks at Charlie, and fiddled with his ring when he became anxious, and how his hair get's messier when he seems stressed. You assume that he doesnt really take care of himself when theres too much on his plate.. it almost made your heart ache just thinking about it.

You also notice how he unconsciously flinches at the slightest touch, even to Charlie. From the sounds of it, he hadn't been this active and social for years, so physical contact had to have been sparce.

It was just because he was working on things.. yeah, important things!

Of course, its your anniversary of arriving at the hotel, so you were welcomed into the lobby that night with banners, balloons, some sloppy cookies, the works; everyone was there to celebrate your progress. The night consisted of a heart-felt speech from charlie, some disturbing accessories gifted to you by niffty, and a lot of drinking. Lucifer was prone to getting lost in a conversation, especially with you. And even moreso after a few rounds of whiskey. Very late into the night, you finally noticed how everyone had gone to their rooms, leaving you and Lucifer in a passionate conversation about whatever important project he was currently working on.

You found yourself facing him entirely, your knees brushed against his side with every roll of your barstool. You were too intoxicated to notice his small reactions to it. Occasionally, it would cause him to stutter or make him lose his focus. You were rudely dissociating while he talked, noticing his hair was slightly messy. It must have been another long day.. A small piece of hair fell into his face, but he didn't do much about it, continously blowing it out of his eyesight and combing his fingers back through his hair. It was all you were able to focus on while he spoke, almost to an annoying extent. You let out a sigh and simply brush the hair out of his eyes during one of his stories. You leaned back and propped your elbow on the bar, waiting for him to continue on after he stopped talking for some reason. It finally clicked that you may have overstepped his boundaries. He was blinking his widened eyes, just a slight blush across his cheeks. You gasped, covering your mouth with your hands.

"Oh! Oh- Lucifer i'm sorry i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything I just-" you rambled an apology out before he snaps out of his fazed state. He quickly calms you down;

" Nope! No-ho-hope you are great. Fine! You're fine, it's fine.." his drunken babbles dug his grave. He groaned and laid his heads in his hands for a moment.

"Just.. i've been alone for so long, you know? I always get a little nervous when people do that.. type of thing..." He leaned up, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

For some reason, your only thought process was to try to calm his nerves any way possible.

" S-sooo.. do you want, like, a massage or something?" That bold comment was never something you'd say to royalty, even to ones you've become close with. Lucifer's eyes grew even wider as he stuttered nonsense.

You slap your forehead, "Fuck! Lucifer, i'm drunk i swear.. i'm sorry. If you manage to remember this night after blacking out, do me a favor and forget this whole thing, okay?" You rambled.

".. Yes."

It took you a moment to process what you just heard. You looked over to him, his shoulders were tensed as his hands clenched fists onto his thighs. He was looking away, biting the inside of his mouth, possibly to stop him from saying anything else. You blinked, a small smile spread across your face, just seeing this powerful demon acting all embarrassed.

"Okay. Sure, yeah! I mean.. if you're comfortable, i.. i don't mind doing it." You responded. There was no reason to debate this, playing it off as a bold response. Lucifer gulped, his face only getting hotter with every word.

He takes a few deep breaths," Fuck it.. Listen, I trust you." He smiled at you, the kind of smile that made your heart melt. You try to switch the topic as the two of you moved up to his room, simply to avoid the dreaded awkward silence. You got into another friendly conversation about something unimportant, that will have been forgetten in a matter of hours.

You've been in his workshop once or twice. It seemed like he kept the doors locked often, probably nervous about anyone seeing the mess that was inside. It wasn't too bad this night. He did have to swipe a few rubber ducks off the couch, so there was a place to sit, though. Lucifer plopped on the couch, his back stretched heavily as his head leaned over the back of the head rest. He rubbed his shoulder in this relaxed position, seemingly stressed just by being in a place he associated with work. That didn't stop you from taking a mental photo of him in this state. He wore a white shirt, decorated with puffed sleeves that were rolled to his elbows, and a small ruffle coming from the neck line. He crossed his legs in his regular heeled boots and began to explain some work he was struggling with. He brushed his hair back into place again, looking to you as he did and noticing you were still standing. He cocked his head before silently slapping the cushion next to him.

" So.. how we gonna do this?" He tries to play off the suddenly intimate moment with a jokingly flirty voice.

"Ah! Right, well.. you could - face this way, and i'll just -" you quickly sat with your legs underneath you and take a hold of his shoulders, moving his body to have his back face you.

"Ookay. So.. um, tell me if this is.. uncomfortable, okay?" You decided to set that boundary for him, and he nodded in response. He looked down slightly, revealing his neck to you, already relaxing his shoulders.

Your hands hesitated for a moment just reaching out to him. Finally making contact, you noticed a familiar little flinch, making you pull away immediately.

"Sorry! Sorry, go ahead.. uh- please.." he muttered. You nod and try again, your hands touching his shoulders much slower than before. He slouches his back towards you, letting out a satisfying sigh just a few moments later.

You moved your massaging hands from his shoulders to his shoulder blades, then to his middle back, then slightly lower. As you focused on specific areas that simply felt harder to dig into, you occasionally ran your fingers up and down his spine. He shuddered every time, making you do it just for the reaction at certain points.

You brushed another spot near his side, that made him flinch. It took both of you by surprise, being simply one of those spots on your body that make you jump. He let out a sudden hic, turning his head back to you. Your eye contact felt long overdue. The couch wasn't very large, his actions left him just a few inches away from your face. You hold your breath, worried that he'd hear how fast your heart was beating. You take the sudden interruption as a chance to make a suggestion.

"Can I.. can i do your- uhm..." You pointed to his chest, implying what you were too nervous to say. He almost stopped to think for a moment before shifting his position to face you directly. You let out your breath and looked at the nervous demon in front of you. His face was rosey pink, his eyes half lidded. You take out another quick breath before reaching back up to his shoulders. You dug into his shoulder and collarbone area, nervous to go any lower. Your thumbs traced the divots of his collarbone as your fingers reached up across his neck momentarily. He melted into every movement, his body moving with the direction of your hands, his eyes finally resting shut.

You got as lost in it as he did, the massage suddenly turning into your hands lightly tracing over his features. You could tell he only needed the slightest comforting touch to relax. Your fingers traced down the center of his chest, then made circular motions over his abdomen, then back up, tracing across his arms and squeezing his palms lightly. He flexed his wrists as if he was about to hold your hand in his. You were embarrassed to admit how excited that madd you for a moment. While running your hands near his sides, you accidentally reach into his partially untucked blouse. You both gasp and pull away, giving each other the same wide-eyed face. Lucifer was first to break eye contact. He looked at your hands for a moment before letting out a brave breath and unbuttoning his shirt from the front. You cover your eyes and stammered out.

"Woah-woah! It was an accident you don't have to do this if you-"

"Oh! Shit! Ah-hah.. i'd.. i mean, i wouldnt mind... if .. you.. wouldn't?" He bashfully replied, covering his previously unbottoned chest.

"No, i don't mind.." Your responses were becoming more confident, uncovering your face. You almost smile at him but become too flustered watching him remove his shirt. He let his top sit at his waist, simply pulling the shirt off his shoulders. His skin was like porcelain, smooth and white, and surprisingly cold to the touch. Your hands pressed on his chest, attempting to heat him up with your warm hands. Either you pushed too hard, or he expected something different, but Lucifer follows your hands and lets you essientally push him back to lay on his forearms. You can't handle it. He looked so amazing in this position. You both mentally decided that it was best to just not question this increasingly intimidate moment.

You resume running your hands across his chest, noticing his breath changing. After just a couple minutes, he was putty in your hands. His forearms were shaking and gripping the edge of the couch, ready to give out. Then he finally gave in, making him drop his back to the cushion of the couch. You followed his movements as the position slowly shifted, and your knee moved in between his legs, trying to keep up with his slouching torso. He's breathing heavily from his lips, his face a tomato red, while he can barely keep his eyes open. You enjoyed his reaction too much to ruin this moment, but god, you were desperate to be closer to him. You swirled your palms down his torso and abdomen, tracing his v lines until you lightly grazed the hem of his pants.

You stop yourself, pulling your hands away and keeping them close to you, hoping to hide your heaving chest until you calmed down. It takes him a minute to tune back in, looking up at you with concern and slight disappointment. His eyes darted around for a moment before sitting up and breaking the silence.

"You.. uh.. you want to stop? You've done more than enough, trust me, Way more than.. I.. erm.. fuck it. If you're not up to it, it's okay.. but-" he stopped his mumbling, to slowly pull out his 3 sets of wings. To comfortably adjust their size, he had to essentially curl them in your direction. Being as large as they were, they were nearly encasing the two of you together. You shrink back, curiousity hitting you before he could properly ask. You ran your hand across his feathers, simply intrigued by their color and softness. He let out a soft yelp, making you pull back again. Again, you two give eachother a wide eyed stare, not sure how to follow up that kind of reaction. At this point, you finally let out a snort and started to laugh. It was quick to lighten the mood, as he joined you.

"Keep going." He smiled at you, a beautiful sparkle in his red eyes, as he reached out to take one of your hands. He took that hand and gave its palm a small kiss.

"Ooh~ i'm honored, your highness." You teased. He responded with wiggling his eyebrows and sending a joking smirk in your direction, hoping that would conseal his excitement to your words.

It didn't, really.

You gently take your hand from his, and continue running your fingers across his feathers. They flinch at any contact but still folded into your hand with a longing to be held. His flirtatious demeanor immediately folded, letting out another sigh. He became a bit vocal this time, letting out low hums every now and then. And sometimes, he would attempt to hold his eyes open just to look at you. He wasn't sure if you could tell, being too concentrated in your work, but he didn't care. He loved the view. His breath became heavier again, but with the close proximity and his wings keeping you two close, the area became very heated.

You send a puff of air close to his feathers, letting out a small chuckle at his sudden shock. The laughter between the two of you slowly dissolving into sweet smiles. The light was slightly dampened by the coverage of his wings, yet you were still able to see his shifting eyes. He leans towards you, breathing slowly. In response, you place your hands back on his chest, causing him to sit back up a bit. He almost looked upset for a moment, being stopped from moving towards you. You gather the courage before moving in closer, your legs nearly overlapping each other at this point. You lean in just a few inches away and shut your eyes, allowing him to finally make the decision to meet your lips together.

The teasingly long tension from this intimacy seemingly burst. Lucifer's wings pull back, tucking back behind him. He breathes heavily into your lips, his head swaying in the direction of yours, still melting into your touch. To keep him from completely collapsing, you keep your hands firmly on his chest. His arms tenderly grab yours, just needing something, anything, to anchor himself. You pull away after a while, allowing him to catch his breath.

Even in this winded, flustered state, you could both tell this is something he's needed for a long time. It was a long night, following every desire that he was too embarrassed to ask for and loving every moment of it. It felt so good to give this sweetheart something he didn't realize he needed; something he deserves. You end up leaning your back on the couch arm, his back flush to your chest. Your fingers were running through his hair slowly, providing a very satisfying scalp massage. The warmth coming from you body, and him unknowingly using your chest as a pillow was more than enough to lull him to sleep. You couldn't remember if he was awake at the time, but you continued to plant a small kiss on the top of his head before falling asleep right underneath him.

---

You sit up quickly from your sleep, immediately wincing at the light coming from the workshops' windows. After taking a moment to get used to your throbbing head, you finally took in your surroundings and then the flood of memories of the night before hit. Your eyes went wide, and you groaned into your hands. Despite this reaction, you were so glad that you remembered last night. You finally notice a blanket over you and a large duck plush underneath your head, which made you smile until realizing Lucifer was gone. Your chest dropped, immediately thinking of what you could have done to make him leave you here, alone.

"Feeling like shit, my love? 'Cause i sure am!" His voice comes from the door, in an entirely joking tone. You quickly turn to see him, letting out a sigh of relief. The king of hell made you fucking pancakes. He wear a little apron protecting the same shirt he wore the night before, and placed your plate at a nearby table. You hobble off the couch, groaning from the stiffness of your body. Lucifer was quick to pull out your chair, and push it back in once you were seated, the table set with a variety of fruits, the tall stack of pancakes, a small glass of water, and a large mug of coffee. Clearly, that was what you went for first. The drink shot you awake, noticing the freshness of the ingredients and its preporation. You take in a large fork-ful of hotcakes and let out a stereotypical hum.

"You're amazing, Lucifer." You mumble out of your pancake-filled cheeks. He places his hand on yours, simply smiling at you from the side of the table.

"Thank you, darling. I really needed that.. like Really needed that." He huffs out, becoming embarrassed again. He didnt even stutter holding on to your hand. You finish off your food, having some light conversation that came easy to the two of you after last night.

Alastor's broadcast chimed through a nearby radio, "Hellish morning, residents! ~ I'm sure you all had a restful sleep after your nightly activities! Your planned activities for today include ... "

Alastors voice quietly fills the room, announcing some of the exercises Charlie had planned for today. His phrasing made you nervous, as if he knew what you were up to. It also gave you an uncomfortable flashback to a high school P.A. system.

" I should get going then, right? Busy... trying to be redeemed.. and stuff. You know." You slide out of your chair, letting out a nervous chuckle, not seeing his strange reaction to you mentioning redemption. As if he were scared to lose you to heaven. Before you have a chance to look back at him, Lucifer is wrapped around your waist. He shifts to stand into the embrace, as close as he could be. He leaves a hand on the small of you back, and the other on the back of your neck, his clawed fingers entangled in your hair. It takes you a minute to hold him back, just from the shock, but you held him tight, closing your eyes and nuzzling your nose into his hair. That's when you notice how lovely he smelled.. probably an apple scented shampoo. -And how he never flinched to your touch after that night.

♡♡♡

I left this one pretty suggestive, because i haven't really written smut before. I might rewrite this if anyone's interested in it going that route tho!

#hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin #lucifer morningstar x you #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader smut #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

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So… how do I word this uh what if the reader breaks up with one of tadc characters? Or vise versa?

Break up! (TADC cast x reader)!

YAHOO still trying to figure out who gets broken up with and who breaks up with you, guess we'll see when I write the actual post down!! Ueueue

Admittedly this post is more of a "how they are like" instead of "actual event of the breakup"

CAINE:

POMNI:

You break up with him...

Caine would never ever ever think of breaking it off with you... unless you find an exit and decide to stay with him. I wrote a post with that idea, and to make it short the guilt would eat him alive, making every day a living hell

But how would he be when you break up with him?

I think he would be all over the place. I mean you're his first romance, and you're his first heartbreak. Hes a mess. Hes crying, hes trying to bargain, and to fix what was broken

But then suddenly hes just

There

Neutral, as if understanding everything.. it's a little terrifying, and for a minute you think his coding is acting up. And maybe it is...

He isnt cold, he isnt holding a grudge, he just treats you like he treats the other circus members. Its actually a little... weird

Do I think his coming got messed up?

No, actually I think in secret hes grieving the relationship. But he now understands that this is just how things work out sometimes

Hes hurting but hes learning

She breaks up with you...

RAGATHA:

Its not that she fell out of love with you, quite the opposite actually. But the more she thought about it, the more.... difficult it would be for both of you. I mean shes tryimg to find the exit, and what are the odds both of you will be able to find each other in the real world? Would you guys even remember the events of the digital world when you escape...? Would...

Theres just so much, but even if it hurts her so so much she doesnt want to hold you down.. she tries to remain friends with you, but the hurt feelings make things hard for both parties

JAX:

You both mutually break up...

You guys probably break up after not coming to an agreement on life goals and big life decisions... I mean, as big of life decisions as you can in the digital world... now obviously you guys tried to find compromises and talk things through, but you guys just couldnt find any solutions where both sides are happy

Remember, resentment is a ugly thing that can ruin even the greatest things one can have. And this is especially true for relationships, romantic or otherwise

So in order to prevent that, you guys agree that you srent compatible with one another.. and thats okay

You guys are still friends, though!

KINGER:

You break up with him...

And he does not take it well at all. I think he would feel angry and betrayed. He wouldn't beg for you back, though. No he views that to be way too humiliating and he refuses to stoop that low. Actually I think if anything he would pretend you dont exist. And I think that's worse than just saying "he ramps up the pranks and targets you"

No, jax is emotionally immature imo, at least that's how I personally write him given we only have the pilot so far..

Very rarely does he actually acknowledge you, and even then it's cold and distant. Probably the least likely to get back with you

ZOOBLE:

You break up with him...

Theres probably a few factors that go into it. The general burn out that comes with a partner that struggles with mental health (because as horrible as it sounds, that is a valid reason. Coming from someone who is mentally ill and diagnosed with stuff, I would not blame my partner for leaving me if my symptoms began to wear down their mental health. It does not make someone a burden. Ones mental health is ultimately theres to deal with, and protect, but I'm not about to go on a tangent I'm just gonna say its valid), feeling that you can't compete with queenie, as well as a few other things

After the break up kinger seems

Lost

Like hes wandering around, and perhaps sometimes he even forgets that you guys broke up. It's sad. No one wants to see an old man cry..

But I dont think the grief will make him abstract. Actually, I dont think he would be nasty to you. Actually if you give him some time, hes actually still quite friendly with you, as well as understanding. You guys still remain friends

GANGLE:

They break up with you...

Likely, it could be that you overwhelmed zooble or made them feel like they werent good enough for you. Zooble themselves is very distant and checked out, and even more so given the current situation. But even then I dont think that there would be an event that would lead to the breakup; because otherwise I feel they would try to make it work

Or maybe, they have been and you guys just werent compatible..

It takes them a while to adapt to being single again, but they will get over it eventually. That being said they give me the vibe that they rend to avoid their exes

You both mutually break up..

Theres just so much going on, and given gangles very sensitive and shy nature and whatever issues you have going on, you both agree to take a break to try to better yourselves.. for yourselves..

I think out of all the characters, you guys have the most potential of getting back together

Gangle tries not to let herself get down in the dumps, but she still will miss you lots the first few weeks..

Even if you guys dont get back together, at least you both become better and more confident in yourselves for yourselves and any future partners

Of course this isnt to say that being sensitive or shy is a red flag or "ick", coming from someone who is those things. But sometimes it truly can become draining for a partner who has to be constantly be built back up. For the sake of both sides there needs to be space, or resentment can build and ruin everything. Is that mean and terrible? Yes. But its human

Add in whatever issues you have going on, you both agree it's better to split

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

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thepictureofsdr · 9 months

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i think one of my favourite things about stalking jack the ripper is the well written way in which men influence audrey rose’s life and how that plays into her relationship with thomas

one of my favourite moments in the whole series is when she pulls the dagger out of the cane in ctd, and she says “thomas. my brilliant, cunning, prepared man.”

it’s the climax of HER series, and she’s fighting the final obstacle alone. there isn’t going to be some man who swoops in to save her and the day and fix everything, as it should be. but unlike so many other series that butcher the strong female trope, love and moments of weakness and relying on others are never seen as a bad thing. audrey so often saves the day, not because some some author has had a man do all the work and then pawn the victory on to the woman or because she’s some cold loner who refuses any sort of connection (which isn’t always a bad thing but something commonly criticized), but because she actively relies on people and eventually allows them in. throughout the whole series her mental impacts are acknowledged, she opens up to thomas, she relies on liza and daciana and ileana. and this is how the series is able to maintain an empowering tone despite its time period.

it’s through this willingness to let other people in that audrey is able to move through her worlds restrictions, and this is how the men in her life are written so well, (doing what they can in the context of the time they live in). from her uncle to her father, no man ever does anything for her. she’s simply given opportunities to prove herself (which are also huge privileges but we know how rare even that was in her time), to do what she’s always been able to do, but not always been able to have the stage to show it. in efh she acknowledges how her uncle and thomas have given her an opportunity, not just merely allowed her to be there on a whim but given her a way to prove its where she belongs, and given her their trust and faith in her skills.

and thats why i love that scene from ctd, its such a beautiful culmination of audrey rose and thomas’s relationship. its a blatant acknowledgment of how he learned to care for her in way that doesn’t smother her, how he actively learned and grew from their conflict in hpd. thomas doesn’t defeat the enemy for her, hell he isn’t even there, but he still finds a way to help her. he doesnt take over from her, doesnt tell her what to do, his love and care keep her up and give her what she needs to get things done on her own, a running theme in the series. the people she loves are consistently there for her, and give her the strength to get things done on her own. arguably the most beautiful symbol is the cane itself, how its existence is a reminder of thomas and it gives her strength, not because he’s there to take over for her, but because even a reminder of his love and support for her is enough to give her a boost to be successful in her own right

tl;dr i just really love how the men in the series don’t see women as fragile and in need of a saviour, but as capable people sometimes in need of a leg up or a shoulder to rely on

#i really hope this makes even a modicum of sense #sjtr #stalking jack the ripper #hunting prince dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devil #hpd #efh #ctd #kerri maniscalco #thomas cresswell #audrey rose #audrey rose wadsworth #cressworth

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miuszn · 1 year

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Ok i Just found my new fav writer 🤍so i NEED to ask this ( do It only if you want)

What about an ellie x fem!reader where they go out on Patrol ,they run into a lot of zombies of every type , ellie gets bit and reader sees It so now ellie needs to explain the whole immunity thing and reader believes her ,

They go back to Jackson where Joel (lets Say he skipped golf lessons this time) finds out and freaks out and gets mad at ellie cause She wasnt supposed to tell anyone so he wants ellie to break up with reader but ellie doesnt want to so they fight and ellie goes back to reader for comfort

Its up to you if Joel and ellie fix this whole argument thing

(also Sorry if my english Is perfect🤍)

hiii anon <33 first of all i’m so honored u consider me ur fav writer i never expected to get so much love from the community so fast im rlly grateful to all of u hehe <33 . anyway , i rlly love ur idea !! i decided to write a short drabble instead because i’m working on another fic but i still wanna post some stuff while i’m working on that , hope ur fine w that 🥹🩷 ( note : this is an alternate universe where ellie already forgave joel and they were starting to fix their relationship .. also this might be kinda ooc especially joel bc i’ve never written him before eheh )

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

you weren’t sure how it happened. you were only gone for a second, you swore, and somehow ellie got bit. you knew it was a bad idea to leave her in a room full of clickers, but you knew she was strong and should’ve been able to clear them out with ease. the second you saw the small bite mark on her hand, you realized what had happened. your heart sank. in a panic, you burst into tears and kept apologizing over and over for about 15 minutes until ellie was able to calm you down and explained to you that she’s immune, leaving out the details of the whole situation with joel and the fireflies. of course, you didn’t believe her. it seemed ridiculous. how the hell would someone be immune and not be out there in some lab being researched or whatever, like in movies?

it took you a while to believe her, but eventually, you did. you helped wrap her hand with bandages so no one would see the note mark, because the less people knew, the better.

you were distraught for the rest of the day. you felt horrible. she kept telling you there’s no need to keep apologizing, but you still felt the need to. what if that had been someone else? what if ellie wasn’t immune? how the hell was she immune in the first place? so many questions ran through your head.

later that night, you laid awake still thinking about today. you were disappointed with yourself for what you did, yet still so confused.

you heard some knocking on your window, and looked out to see ellie. you opened your window and let her in. she sat on your bed next to you.

“what’re you doing here?” you asked.

“just wanted to check on you,” she replied, “and. uh. joel’s kinda mad.”

you were confused. you wondered how he even found out, but it’s like she read your mind and answered.

“i told him about what happened today. just casually. and he completely lost it.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“i can’t believe that girl let you get bit.” joel wasn’t even looking ellie in the eye. he was extremely disappointed in both of you.

“it wasn’t her fuckin’ fault, joel! i didn’t think anything bad would happen either! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame me-“

“i’m blamin’ the both of you! what the fuck did you think was gonna happen back there? leaving you in a room full of clickers to fend for yourself? now one more person knows about you bien’ immune and all. god knows if she can even keep a secret.”

“what the fuck makes you think shes just gonna tell everyone? she’s not like that at all. why the hell are you acting like you don’t know that-“

“why the hell are you actin’ like that girl’s any good for you? all she does is get you into trouble.”

ellie went silent. she was shocked at how different he was acting. all this time he had been so nice to you, not once showing a sign of not trusting you or disliking you. she was conflicted, and in the heat of the moment, she just turned around and left, fuming with anger. she was starting to wonder if joel was actually right, but realized that was such a stupid thought. the worst part is, she wasn’t even sure if he meant it. now she didn’t know what to do. just as they were starting to fix things, life threw another curveball at them.

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

you were hurt by what ellie was saying. his words just further fueled the thoughts in the back of your mind saying that this was all your fault. but ellie realized this and tried her best to comfort you. she kept saying it wasn’t your fault, that she fucked up too, that she’s sure he didn’t mean it and he was just angry. while you were hurt by his words, that wasn’t your main concern. you thought about how this incident just further damaged their already broken bond that they’ve been trying to fix these days. you felt like because of you, all that progress was thrown away in less than 24 hours. and it was an ugly feeling. you felt even worse than you did before, and you didn’t know what to do.

“ellie..” you placed your hand on hers, “i’m sorry.” you started to tear up.

“hey..” she pulled you close and hugged you.

“it’s just.. i don’t know what exactly happened with you and joel. you don’t have to tell me. and everything is getting better now and i’m just scared i’ve ruined it and i just-“

“hey,” she interrupted you, “don’t worry about that, okay? it’s not your fault. i’ll.. i’ll figure it out. you don’t have to worry about me and joel. we’ll be fine.”

“are you going to forgive him for it?”

“i’m not sure,” she sighed. “if he didn’t mean it, maybe. but if he did, i doubt i can.”

“i don’t want you to lose progress with him just because of me..”

“we’ll be fine. please.. just.. stop worrying, okay?”

you nodded hesitantly.

while the guilt of possibly extending the process of ellie’s forgiveness of joel would continue to exist within you, at least for as long as it took her to finally reconcile with him, you were grateful to have her by your side. and you were sure to be with her every step of the way.

#arielle’s drabbles ୨୧ #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie x reader #the last of us 2 #tlou #tlou 2 #ellie williams x you #tlou x reader #joel miller #ellie and joel

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evan4ever · 1 year

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can i request you to evan peters any character(or himself doesnt matter)x female has eating disorder he’s helping her like you know

I’m Here

Warnings: please please read with caution!!! This may be very triggering. ED (anorexia). Please reach out if you need help, there are resources and I promise you’re not alone 🤍

a/n: I contemplated writing this for awhile because it’s a deep and hard topic, but I’m hoping I wrote this in a way for anyone who struggles with this to know that there is help and people care. I’m linking an ED hotline, called NEDA. You can always message me if you need someone to talk to. Please don’t go through this alone 🙏🏻

I’m having this take place after you and Kit are released from Briarcliff

—

It’s been weeks. Weeks since you touched your favorite food. Weeks since you’ve ate more than a single bite of any meal before you. Weeks since you haven’t felt sick.

When you and Kit had finally been let out of Briarcliff, things were finally good. Having formed a relationship with Kit all that time together in that place, it wasn’t a surprise that he had asked you to come home with him, to be with him forever. Neither of you could imagine being apart after surviving for your lives together. So, of course you happily accepted.

You moved into his home, you spent months fixing it up, he went back to his job as a mechanic and you got yourself a job at a local diner. You were happy, Kit was happy. It was a picture perfect story and you swore nothing would make you feel anything like you did in Briarcliff. How could it? That place was hell and now you were free and living peacefully with the love of your life.

But with all the happiness you felt came an increase in your weight. Kit’s too, but that never bothered you. You loved it, in fact. He looked healthy and you fed him good, which he loved. But your own weight gain was a problem for you.

It didn’t matter that you were gaining because you were in a healthy and happy relationship. All you could focus on was that the number was increasing. It didn’t help that being nearly starved in the asylum had obviously made you drop an unhealthy amount of weight. You looked sick then, but standing that day in front of the mirror and observing your new curves, your stomach pouch and larger arms — something snapped in you. You hated the way you looked and you wanted nothing more than to look like you had the day you left Briarcliff.

So, you stopped eating.

Of course you didn’t want Kit to notice your lack of food intake, so you managed to take a bite or two of supper when he’d come home from work and stir around the food on your plate managing to make it look emptier than when you or Kit made it. And anytime he happened to question anything, you told him you had ate quite a bit at breakfast or lunch and you weren’t very hungry. You always reassured him. And he always bought it.

Your interest in food slowly dissipated. You had no desire to eat anything at all. Though the nausea from an empty stomach hurt quite a bit, your own mind didn’t let it win the battle. At some point, it became painful to eat a bite at all, like you had finally trained your stomach to hate food as much as your mind did. It was a sick and painful battle, but the way your body started slimming out and the number on the scale began dropping faster and faster was exhilarating.

Your goal was to hit the weight you had been when you left Briarcliff, but once you hit that number — you still weren’t satisfied. You wanted to lose more. So instead of allowing yourself to begin eating more, a healthier amount, you didn’t. You continued not eating and the number continued dropping.

You were sure Kit had no idea. He never commented on your weight, when you were larger and even now at a smaller size. You truly expected him to notice and to love it. Boys loved skinny girls. So why wasn’t he complimenting your weight loss? By this point, it was more than noticeable. Even your coworkers were impressed and had told you that you looked amazing. But never Kit. He always complicated other things about you, how your hair looked, your sparkling eyes, the way you looked nice, but never the size of your body.

Little did you know, though, that Kit had taken notice. It began on one of his days off where he realized you hadn’t stem anything all day, and by supper time you gave him the same comment you always had — that you ate too much throughout the day, you just weren’t that hungry. He quickly caught on to what was happening, how your body wasn’t only slimming out but wearing away. When he’s hold you at night, it was nothing for his arm to wrap around you twice if it could. Your ribs and your hip bones were poking out so far that it was worrisome. Your skin began paling and your hair brittling. He noticed all of it.

Your energy was gone at this point. It took everything for you to do your daily tasks, it pained you to get out of bed. If you could lay forever, you would.

It was getting bad. You had lost control and you didn’t even mean to. Of course you weren’t intending to become sick and frail, but your mind took over and would not allow you to become healthy again. Eventually, you believed Kit just didn’t care. There was no way he couldn’t see that you were sick, yet he never said anything. It spines you further that the man you love couldn’t see that you made yourself skinny so that you’d be more attractive, so much so that your life was slipping from you slowly.

Today was Kit’s day off. You stayed in bed when he got up, pulling the comforter up under your chin and wrapping yourself in it because you were so cold. You heard Kit moving around in the living room and kitchen but didn’t care enough to even wonder what it was that he was doing. All you wanted to do was disappear into thin air.

“Baby?” You heard his voice as he entered the room, looking over the thick blanket at him. You gave him a smile as he walked to your side and sat next to you.

“Good morning babe” you hummed quietly, trying to seem okay even though you knew you weren’t. He gazed down at you and you realized it was a look of concern that was on his face. He wore a small smile, but his eyebrows were pushed together and his eyes looked sad. “What’s wrong?”

He blinked a few times before looking down at his hands, you eyes flickering down to them too and noticing the muffin he held in them. You sucked in a sharp breath before looking back up to him confused. He let out a sigh, his eyes still on the muffin.

“Will you eat this for me? It’s blueberry.. your favorite.” He spoke quietly, almost scared to have asked. You clenched your jaw and pushed your own eyebrows together as a silent battle went on in your head. He was right, blueberry was your favorite. An blueberry muffins were expensive, so you guys didn’t buy them often. And now, here was Kit, holding one for you.

You wanted to accept his request, you wanted to shove the whole muffin in your mouth and melt into the sweetness of it. But your mind said absolutely not.

“Mm babe..” you hummed again, resting your head back on the pillow and closing your eyes and you shot him a smile, “I’m not hungry yet. I’ve only barely woken up. I will later?” Your eyes opened to meet his that held even more sadness. Your stomach turned when he seemed unhappy with your answers. He never pushed further when you declined food before, so why was he now?

You watched as he set the muffin on the nightstand next to you, his hands falling back in his lap as they clasped together and he stared down at them. You sat in silence wondering what was going on, fixated on his unreadable stance.

“I think we need to take you to the hospital.” He stated so quietly you questioned if you heard him correctly. Blinking a few times, you sat yourself up in the bed quick to pull the covers up to hide your bones that showed. You were nervous now at his sudden change in behavior today and the thought of going to the hospital made your pulse speed up.

“What?” You laughed nervously, shaking your head as if you didn’t understand. “Why would I need to go to the hospital?”

Kit still hasn’t met your eyes while yours were placed on him firmly. Your nerves grew with every passing second.

“You’re sick, y/n.” He said, sucking in a noticeably shaky breath. Your confusion and worry increased with his seemingly sadness.

“I’m not.” You disagreed, shaking your head. A deeper sigh left from his mouth and his shoulders slumped more than they were before, your eyes noticing the repeated clench and unclench of his jaw bone. “Kit..”

“We can get you help. There’s people out there that want to help you. I want to help you.” He spoke his last sentence in a whisper, a tear dropping onto his cheek. Seeing it pulled at your heart, realizing that he knew what was going on and was scared for you. “If we don’t get you help, your heart is going to give out. You can’t continue down this path and…” he sucked in another sharp, shaky breath, “and I can’t live without you.”

His eyes finally flickered at you, more tears dripping from his eyes to his beet red cheeks. His eyes begged you, pleaded with you to hear him out. You, at a loss for words, only stared at the broken man in front of you. You had for so long believed he didn’t notice and didn’t care when all along he had. You quickly thought back to all the times he’d offered you food, your favorite foods specifically. All the times he bought your favorite take out even though he could barely afford it, yet you denied eating more than a bite. All this time, that was his way of trying to help you. The only way he knew how that wasn’t taking you to the hospital. Now, he knew he had no choice if he wanted you to survive this.

“I’m okay Kit, really. I just haven’t been hungry—“

“You’re lying y/n.” His voice raised. It wasn’t a yell but it was a plead. “You’re not okay. You’re dying.”

The word dying made you flinch, because it was true. Your body was only weeks away from giving out on you and you knew that. You knew it and you didn’t want it to happen but you couldn’t fix it. Everything he was saying was true. But the thought of getting help and being forced to eat and regain weight was the worst feeling you’ve ever had.

“You can’t do this alone and I’m here for you. I want to help you get help, because I can’t give you the medical help you need. But I can stand by your side every step of the way. I am begging you.” He held your eyes in his, never looking away from them. He needed you to see how serious he was and how serious this situation was. If he could help you the way you needed, he would. He’d never force you to go to the hospital if it wasn’t your life depending on it. But he knew his love and guidance was not enough. He could fill your head with every compliment in the world, reassure you day in and day out that your beautiful no matter how you look, that you don’t have to kill yourself to be beautiful. He could tell you every day that you didn’t have to be skin and bones for him to want you, that he wanted you at your highest and healthiest weight just as much as he wants you now. But your health now wont allow you to be with him forever, and for that, he needs to help you get the correct help. “I’m begging you.”

Your eyes closed, no longer able to bare the brokenness he held. What you were doing may be killing you physically, but it was also killing him mentally. It wasn’t what you intended to do, of course not. You just needed him to open up to you for you to see it. And you knew everything he was saying was true and it was said out of love, from the very bottom of his heart. He was begging you to let him help you the only way he could.

It went silent again as you thought about his request over and over again. Your mind was telling you now but your entire being was begging you to let him. It was fucked up how strong the mind is. How much control it had over the person it belonged to. But you knew of you didn’t allow him to help you that you wouldn’t last much longer, and that was the amount of encouragement you needed to be able to accept his plea.

“okay.” You whispered, your eyes squeezing shut tighter. Suddenly, it felt like you could breathe. Like a weight was lifted off your entire body. Like everything you were fighting alone in was no longer holding you.

“Okay?” Kit whispered. You opened your eyes slowly and blinked through the tears that had formed allowing them to fall. Once your vision was clear and you were able to see Kit, you sniffled and nodded. He nodded along with you, a new small smile forming on his lips. “Okay.” He confirmed, standing from your shared bed and grabbing your hand gently to help you from it.

His eyes skimmed over your fragile body, the sight hurting him deeply. You noticed him doing so, but you didn’t shy away or become embarrassed. You were able to admit you needed help, and it was like your eyes opened wide and you could see the damage your mind was doing to you. And he could see it too.

“We’re gonna get you help, baby. Everything will be okay soon I promise.” He spoke softly, hugging you to him once you were dressed. You wrapped your weak arms around him and rested you head on his chest. Every move you made made you dizzy, and you held him for support as he guided you to the car and helped you in, bucking you and closing your door before entering the drivers side and starting it. His hand reached for yours as he began driving, taking the small thing in his tightly like he was holding it for dear life.

Your mind raced nervously the closer you got to the hospital, wondering what their point of action would be. You were scared they’d take you away or that you’d become a clinical experiment. Kit must’ve been able to tell you were scared, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“It’ll be okay baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

—

Tags: @evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap @quicksilversg1rl @submissiveforahsmen @angelmenace @lovelizzie-blog1 @justa19 @daylas-life @simp4petermaximoff @totta69

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starz4valen · 4 months

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queers im fucking lost come save me

ok but in all seriousness,

despite labeling myself as aroace for a hot minute and finding comfort in that label and the community for a time—shit doesnt feel quite right anymore.

i have had ONE EX. one.

i genuinely think i was in love with him. i only felt what i felt with him,,,WITH HIM. nobody else. I felt the butterflies/giddiness, i loved his laugh, his smile, hearing him, his jokes, all the names he would call me, how much he said he loved me, our late night discord calls, having him around, just. him. when he rarely spoke abt shit that was bothering him it hurt me so bad, like i would hurt with him. and the mere THOUGHT of ME hurting him made me wanna sob.

as you can probably guess by the fact we’re exes, we’re not together anymore. it hurts. hell, my stomach tangled a bit as i typed that out. (could be cause recently someone who used to be a friend went and dated him and then got upset at me for getting upset at them but this ain't abt them.)

we broke up in like june last year, and i felt so fucking horrible about it bc it basically ended w him yelling at me over text at how horrible i am at listening and how i treated him more like a therapist—which i will admit i did. i sucked for that. it makes sense why tho, i was working through a lot of shit at the time, doesn’t justify it at all though. i should’ve treated him better. im desperately trying to fix it in my current relationships so that never happens again.

then again, he also treated me badly. he said things that really fucked with my sense of trust in people and just made me scared to get close with anyone like that ever again, or in general bc i was convinced everyone had some ulterior motive w me or secretly didnt give a shit abt me—but also i felt *I* was the problem. like every relationship im in is gonna end horribly bc im just that bad. its taken a lot to say that i feel loved by and trust my current friends, as well as trying to recognize that I deserve love, and im glad i can say that im getting better ^^

but,,,idk anymore

i concluded i was aroace almost a year after we broke up. there were a couple reasons. for one, i only really got that close w him. i dont really know if ive had a crush or what that feels like—in fact i think i faked one in elementary, the whole reason i got w my ex was bc he was flirting w me and it made me feel nice. (also bc i was worried he would be my only shot at love but i digress) i feel off when people talk about heading to poundtown or anything like that, the same with crushes—just crushes tho relationships i totally get—and i still struggle to wrap my head around attraction and how people just can look at someone without even knowing them at ALL and go “you. i want you.”

i wrote off how i felt when i was with him as simply some non-romantic form of attraction and called it a day.

but recently ive been reflecting on that, and i think i was wrong. the way that even now i get all these emotions by merely talking abt my ex says something. how upset seeing that "friend" going ahead and dating him after barely knowing him and just how angry i was says something. the way i cried seeing my best friend get a whole small crate of presents from their partner for their bday bc i was THAT JEALOUS says something. the way i yearn for affection and to be loved again says something. the way im starting to miss being in love again says something. the way i would always want some sort of relationship—even when i identified as aroace—but just never thought it would happen bc i didn't feel pretty enough, or mentally well enough, deserving of one, or like id ever be lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel that way again and how scared and sad that makes me,,,says something.

now in terms of poundtown—legit dunno. closest to that I've done w anyone was neck kisses from my ex, which i did really enjoy—but also i legit identified as ace like the whole time we were together and the few times he made jokes like that i felt uncomfy. plus the only way i feel i could be ok w going further w something like that is if its either excessively gentle or the most unserious thing ever. so tbh if i had to take a guess on how i feel abt that—not too keen on it.

I'm debating a couple labels, bi, aroace, bi and ace, demirose, and demirose and bi, but tbh i feel bi kinda fits the most? (maybe???) but also it doesn't. idk if its the fear of opening my mind to me being in a relationship despite my fear of intimacy and commitment or just that I'm aroace and this is my brain telling me to stop overthinking shit—but i know i wanna figure this shit out

if anyone has like legit any words of advice PLEASE send it my way. i will take even the tiniest crumb of guidance cause i am more lost than a child in ikea.

thanks to anyone who read all this <3

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer community #in need of advice #queer advice #aroace #aromantic #asexual #bisexual #questioning #help. me.#utterly confused 💥

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devilscastle69 · 26 days

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Hi, I just wanted to say I've seen a few of your posts recently and I just wanted to send internet hugs (if you like them). It sounds like you've been going through a hell of a lot and it makes so much sense that you're tired and overwhelmed and struggling every day.

When it comes to struggling to relating to people a) it makes so much sense, because you weren't given the chance to, but b) it's okay to have highly specific interests and not want to go outside of that. Lots of people do, both neutotypical and atypical. And as long as it's what you enjoy, that's all that matters. Some people might struggle with it, but that's a them problem, not a you problem. In your life, what you enjoy is the most important thing.

The crying when you were young and praying to go to purgatory, and knowing things were wrong but other's not? That sounds really hard, like you could tell there were dynamics going on and were trying to navigate them. Maybe you were better at spotting patterns so knew where to tread (again, sometimes people call this an autistic thing, but lots of people do this too), or maybe you just have higher anxiety than others and that was what drove everything. But your family sounds really hard, expecting you to just put up with homophobia instead of standing up for you. It kind of feels like your mum went back on accepting you, too, taking it okay one day and screaming at you a few days later. That's exactly the type of thing that you could have known would happen when you were younger, so you tried to not be the thing that would get you yelled at or excluded.

It sucks getting to this point in your life without knowing who you are, especially when it came with so much self-hatred, but I want to tell you that a lot of people love their 30s because they learn more about themselves and stop self-destructing and actually start living how they want to. Would it help to try and consider everything you've been through as an experience that taught you something? It sounds like you were just desperate to try and get things right and that's what lead to the self-hatred, but you shouldn't be blamed for trying to survive. And now, instead of continuing to feel self-hatred, you can actively choose to be nice to yourself, show yourself the compassion I know you show your friends 💚 you're not wrong for standing up to your mum and sister, that means that you're standing up for yourself, and your younger self would be so in awe of you for doing that 💚 sorry for the long ramble, feel free to call this weird from a stranger on the internet💚

tysm anon <33 i remind myself a lot that im in a much better place than i was even a year ago like physically, emotionally, spiritually, but sometimes things happen and i feel overwhelmed. im also still trying to stand up for myself appropriately and i was upset bc i was actively trying to communicate how i was feeling without like trying to blame her and she exploded probs out of guilt or confusion or grief or outright denial & it was really viscous and hurtful! but im def trying to work on getting my brain to be like "wow!!! that really sucked!!! fuck that!" instead of "i want to kms!!!! fr this time!!!" (it's never all the way fr but it feels fr in the moment) my fam is complicated and the dynamics are pretty fucked and ik why they are that way but knowing that doesnt fix anything bc itd be even worse attempting to point it out bc i have a pretty good idea for how itd go unfortch.

anyway appreciate the thoughts and support. i do go to therapy and do the self care i think it was too many events all at once. <3 hope u have a great day/night/etc.

#not snz #tw: religious trauma #tw: internalized homophobia #tw: mental illness

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aqvamoss · 3 months

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I am doing so bad at having a weekend. I feel like I'm doing bad at having a weekend that I am actually writing a tumblr post, and I dont know if I've every actually written an original tumblr post. Its gonna be a misaligned rant. And I do this knowing my audience is 3 people. I mean fuck I have 16 followers and only recognize people from my hometown or have been through something with, so I know my audience. I am not doing okay. I'm crying typing it. It's just a bad weekend, I've had a great last month. I felt better than I had in the last 4 or more month before that. But I'm really struggling this weekend. I'm trying, I'm working on getting help, and I really dont wanna be drugged again. I just want to feel normal and produce something. I want to do more than take, but I cant do anything for myself. I only do it for other people so I can feel some worth or purpose. And even then I dont fix anything! I cant make anything permanent or stable or reliable or consistent and I can't make a home on rickety foundation! I feel I'm never gonna have somewhere to land or that feels safe or my own or be proud of. I can barely get out of bed somedays, like today. The best I can do is empty a dishwasher. I dont care if that's something, it's not enough. It gets me nowhere, it doesnt move myself forward. I feel like I'm rotting in place and cant find any reason to throw soap on the rot. That's more or less just to say I havent showered in like 5 days. I'm getting more lucid as I write it but I gotta press on with the feeling. I'm crying out all the overwhelming hormones, or at least that's what I tell everyone when I want them to be able to cry in front of me. "Its just your body purging the overflow, they've done studies and looked at tear chemical structures, this is the bodies flush mechanism." Idek if that's true, I say it but did I ever look into it? Did I make it up? I've felt like a lot of things I say lately I dont know where they came from. I've got holes in my brain. Hell maybe even real holes. Depression and genetic dementia, maybe it's getting me early. But all I've done this weekend is rot in my room, nag at myself about the things I should have done, could have done, had the time to do. Make myself a habitat worth holing myself up in. Only done things that minutely benefit the house, the fucking dregs I live with, where we're all suffering one way or another but I try my damnedest to make mine not affect them. This place isnt even safe. I cant feel home here, I can barely host here but it's a goddamn parade for any other fuck that wants to come through. I havent lived with this many people and felt this alone since I moved to grand rapids. I've lost the plot, all I can think about is I cant keep falling any further. I'm not moving up or even moving past things. I dont know where I'm going, where I'm supposed to go, or what's gonna be there if I get there. Is it worth going? Would any of YOU go out not know what the plan is? Just leave the house because you're told that's where things are going to happen? Okay where, with who, how long, and what happens, and WHY? I cant figure out why I'm doing anything other than it keeps me fed, it keeps the Bill's at bay, it keeps me from going crazy but makes me crazy in other ways. None of it feels right and I dont know what the right feeling is or how to feel it. It could shove itself down my throat and I wouldnt know any better because I'm broken and numb to good things. If I've felt anything today it's been the verge of a panic attack. It's been loneliness and exasperation. And the only thing I can do to make any moves forward is to go take a shower and hope to God that sets me back to zero.

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interdepartmentalconcersations · 1 year

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wow i just cant really get passeed it i just dont know. i know noeone will ever see these and they certainly wont guess who i am but man, i just dont think that i can pretend anymore i am pretending so much about my life and so much about who i am. i dot dont think that my life is anywhere how i i planned for it to be. im already 22 and im about to turn 23 realy soon ai just feel like i let my parents down and more importantly i feel like imletting myself down, i have been througha whole lot of fucked up things in my life and i jst dont get how i can fuck up this bad.

i have a shitty job, i was makeing more money at 18 than i am now. My body is unhealty and ugly and as much as i would kike to change i dont really know what to do to gain the motivation. i feeel like i have a whole lot of obsticles in my way and its not helping however i dont know. '

if i could manifest anything it would be the motivation to eat nothing but healthy things, hva e aperfect wardobe , do healthy things everyday throught my day and to have a healthy relationship with my artner. these things seem so easy to say but obtaining them has taken litterally tekn up my whole life and i still havent achaived anything. if i cant figure it out in 23 years whos to say i can figure it out in another 23 ears?

how do i just allow myself to do this . how have i gone through so much and made it through so many diffrent levels f hell only to hae gotton nothing from it but truama responces and defeat . its not like the movies, it not romantic to be abused . it not romatic to eat aay your pain, it not romatic to just graze through life with no money.

the relationshi i have with money is beyond fucked uo i dont know what to do with it. i am relyant on my signifigant other for money and its fucked up. there are so many things that i need but i am afraid to spend moeny on but the things i dotn need like histty food are so easy to spend money on and i dont know what thats all about. like wtf what am i suppose to do with this. how do i fix this. i hat eowrk somuch every job and job type i hat ei dont like the work itself and i dont like my cowerkers, the workers theselves can couse me to be okay with not eating anything bt a bag of chips for dinner for two weeks if that means i dont have to kr with them anymroe. plus i have no friends

at my age there is no inbetween, you either are super succeful and have a shit tone of money already and are succeful or your super broke just like me and the succesul people dont want to hang out with a bum like me and a oerson who is broke is working all the time and doesnt have time or the money to go and and do stuff.

when your olnly friend is your partner it drags you down especially when that person doesnt act like they like you anymore, even when ou hear the " i love you" of the " i care about you more than anyone" but when you look into there ayes and they have nothing but irritation and disdain its fucked, it makes you worry especially if you have been through the situation where someone says all the right things but hates you and tell you in other ways, like by their actions and by there mood toward you, before. you begin to worry.

" is this the same thing that was happening back then?" " is this going to be like this forver " " i remember those looks and those moods"

it makes you wonder if you are cabable of having someone love you or if you are worhty of the correct kind of love . the trauma repsonses click on without you even thingking about it and it ruins your relationship with your signifigant other and with yourself over and pver again.

you would tell a friend but you dont have any, but they do . they talk about it to all of their 90 frinds and family that would listen and form opinions about you. which sould be fine and it wouldnt bother you if you could do the same thig but all you have is you. and you dont even like yourself or think there is anythig you can do to make yuourself lovable.

the things in life that fuck with you them most are the things you create for yourself wheather or not they be on purpose or all by accient, you hurt yourself the most.

and allowing other to do it to you too.

0 notes

hobilluvvr · 3 years

Text

lost ocean troubles | 2

college au! sub!armin x dom!reader

words - 2.7k

warnings - vomit, blood, mentions of abuse , injuries

parts - |

so incredibly sorry for this late update but testing season is approaching and I need to study sadly :/ this part is very rough with spelling errors and grammar but will be revised later !

please enjoy this update and constructive criticism is always welcomed :D . If you want to be added to the tag list please don’t hesitate to ask !

taglist - @haikyoonn @kenmas-nintendoswitch

The flowers had this magnificent pale blue color to them, the sun hitting them just at the right angle and the sage leaves accented the stem, the weight of the beautiful petals making the stem slightly wilt downwards .

this piqued armins interest, so much so that he walked towards them , feet trudding against the soft sand. As he comes close the overwhelming smell of coconut with a hint of sea saltseasalt overwhelmes his senses, his nose srunching up in question, the scent resembling of clean linen,a quite odd observation , even more so for a flower .

Just as he reaches to pick the flower up, the sun all of the sudden blazes furiously, the rays bouncing everywhere and blinding armin, now groaning as he squirms in abrupt discomfort. His feet dig at the sand … or what was the sand… the feeling of plush fabric instead meeting his skin, surrounding his body in comfort and warmth.

Snuggling further into this random source of heat, the sudden realization hits him. His eyes open the tiniest bit and he stops for a moment … this isnt the beach… in fact he’s laying on a bed… an unknown bed

At this his body jolts upward and armin frantically looks around his surroundings, the white pillows and the grey blanket not correlating in his mind as his. ‘This isnt my room’ the panic quickly sets in, quickly throwing the blanket aside and standing up abruptly which proves to be a grave mistake as a headache and the urge to vomit surges up his throat.

He clutches his stomach as he runs to the bathroom ,quickly kneeling over the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach, the acidity already making his throat burn angrily. The sound of quick footsteps echo the walls and he goes to turn his head towards the door when the second round of bile threatens to escape his throat.

His ingers clutch the toilet ,violently puking when a second presence is felt . armin feels someone kneel next to him and gently rub at his back

“Its okay , its okay ,let it all out “ you push his bangs away from his face while the other hand rubs at his back . armin lifts his head up ,groaning as he moves away from the toilet feeling his head throb way too violently.

You hand him the cup of water and pain killer you set down when you entered the bathroom

“Here take this, dont move too much . your head is most likely killing you” he takes the items and pops the pill in his mouth quickly downing it with the water. When he sets the cup down he looks at you ,eyes squinting, clearly confused

“Where am i ?”

You chuckle lightly, standing up and lean against the counter “you dont remember anything do you huh?” the boy sitting on the floor thinking ...

Suddenly armin visibly stiffens, his cheeks flushing “uh w-ww di-idnt do i-it ,rig-ght?” his eyes all of the sudden finding great interest on the floor tiles .

You give him a light smile and laugh even louder this time “no, no we didnt ,dont worry about that. Here cmon” you reach out a hand to lift him up off the floor

He takes your hand sheepishly ,shoulders relaxing in relief, his red cheeks calming down “ then what happened? Why am i here ?” he asks following you out of the bathroom and into the room.

You cringe at the events that happened the previous night and you wonder if you should tell him everything. You head over to your drawers and open them, turning your back to the stumbling boy “well you got extremely wasted and this creep saw that you were alone and he tried messing with you but i took care of it”

your hands clench harshly at the shirt you were holding thinking about the old fuck. God humans can be pieces of shit

“Oh.” armins bit his lip and he desperately tried to remember exactly what happened , your answer being quite vague , but this did nothing but make his head throb once again . wincing in pain he goes to lifts his hand up to hold his head when he notices the bandages around his wrists ‘what happened ?did i get injured ?’

After picking out what you needed , you turned to face him and you catch his line of sight , looking at his wrists . as if you heard what his thoughts you say “ the perv was being really aggressive towards you and he injured you quite badly but i brought you up to my apartment and fixed you up a bit “giving him a warm smile you hold out the clothes you had previously searched for

“ here , take this and clean your self up a bit then i can take you home, yeah ? you got a little bit of a stain forming on you “ you chuckle, head nodding towards the vomit on the shirt before walking out ,leaving him in the room alone

His eyes widen at your comment immediately rushing to the bathroom and sure enough his vomit is all over the shirt , the mirror reminding him of his earlier commotion . armin sighs in embarrassment ,blue eyes scanning his appearance, finally now knowing how much of a hot mess he looks like . he notices another bandage on his face, his cheek specifically , a bit of blood staining the white bandage along with another few scratches all over his face.

His finger traces around his facial injuries ‘wow, what exaclty happened last night ?’

He shakes his head , not wanting his head to pound again, instead just focusing his attention on the shirt you gave him noticing that it looks similar to the dirty one he is wearing currently.

‘Oh god …..dont tell me …. Im wearing her clothes ‘ the realization hits him and his ears turn an angry shade of red. ‘God how much more of a burden can he be to you ?’ he groans before closing the bathroom door

…

As soon as you close the door , your eyes land on a very dishevled eren leaving his room , hand shielding his squinting eyes away from the harsh sunlight “what happened ? i heard what sounded like someone vomiting” his morning voice rasping out, following you to the kitchen and sitting down on the kitchen bar stool

“Oh he woke up and well... , you know how hangovers are like “ you open the fridge , scanning the interior “wait why is the fridge empty ? i thought i told you it was your turn to go grocery shopping this time ? what happened ? “ you frown turning towards him, crossing your arms

Eren only yawns and stretches his body, not seeming to mind that you were glaring holes at him “dont you remember ? i couldnt go so you said we’d go together after we ate something yesterday but then you got too caught up fighting someone if i recall correctly ” he confidently said, fingers tapping at his chin , eyes meeting yours, glaring back.

You sigh giving up “ ahh yeah i remember now….” you take a quick glance around the kitchen and see nothing of nutritional value “ the hell are we going to eat then ? and why didnt you clean up the medical supplies from last night ?” you badger him looking at the medical supplies messily strewn all over the counter

Eren scrunches his face , hand running through his bedhair, still groggy from just waking up a few minutes ago “ we can always just doordash something” he picks up the bottle of rubbing alcohol remebering how you carried armin into the apartment when he passed out and set him on the couch leaving eren to tend to his wounds.

Just as armin was falling , passing out after just vomiting all over you , you quickly grab at his waist and preventing him from hitting his head on the floor . the stench of the vomit was awfully intense and you scrunch your nose trying to stop the smell from affecting you “ can you be any faster over there ? you tease seeing him struggle with the keys , his fumbling being weirdly endearing somehow

“Im trying , im trying. I swear this cold is messing me up or something “ he puffs out now fumbling with inserting the key right . you roll your eyes upon seeing this , giving a light chuckle before reaching a hand underneath the blonde boys legs and bringing them towards your chest, effectively lifting him up bridal style.

You walk into the apartment and set the boy softly onto the couch before looking down to the mess that your clothes are in , heading towards the bathroom “ hey eren could you patch him up for me ? i have to clean myself up before he’s not the only one with body fluids all over the floor.” you smirk

Eren scoffs “dont you go throwing up on me , you hear ? i just mopped the floors yesterday and im sure as hell not letting you mess my hard work up “ he hears your distant laugh down the hallway , before the sound of boots fade, leaving him alone with the boy

Eren looks at the boy slowly sliding down on the couch and ultimately sighs before going to the cabinet where all the medical supplies are stored. He opens it while lowly muttering “just cause my dad was a doctor and he taught me a few things doesnt mean i have to tend to everyones wounds “

Grabbing a few bandages and bandaids, and rubbing alcohol, he grabs a stool and places it in front of the boy. ‘Your injuries shouldnt be that bad ‘ he thinks before he lifts the boy and positions him upright. Immediately the sight of scarce blood and vomit greets erens eyes . eren winces in slight sympathy and disgust before he wipes armins face clean with the cloth he has in hand and disinfecting the wounds next

The rubbing alcohol stirred a reaction out of the blonde boy seeing as he squirmed in discomfort , the position he was put in faltering, falling into the nearest thing, which so happened to be erens chest, more specifically his neck

Eren was flustered ,not knowing what to do he freezes , his ears turning red upon feeling the shallow breath of the boy on, his sensitive neck . Eren looks down and he admires the peaceful features on the petite boy .’he looks so peaceful, pretty even ‘ eren stares for a bit before he snaps out of it and pushes the boy off his chest , tending to his wounds , doing what he first came to do.

“ i left the supplies out because i knew i would have to tend to your wounds too “ he gets up , walking to the other side of the bar, heading where you are

You squint your eyes in visible confusion “ my wounds ? what are you talking about ?” he scoffs rolling his eyes, “dont play dumb with me , you beat up someone to a bloody pulp and dont expect any damage to your hands, more specifically your damn knuckles ? “

He reaches down, grabbing your hand and lifting them up as to make a point “look at this “ you look down towards your hand and the sight of multi colored bruises,blood and even some open skin greets you.

“ you didnt let me tend to them yesterday so let me do it now “ you meet eyes and his are practically pleading you, but before you get to open your mouth to say anything, you hear rustling and you look behind eren to see what it is .

Armin is awkwardly standing there in the living room, the clean shirt you gave him reaching his knees , and the sweatpants a bit too baggy . you have to physically stop yourself from cooing , the sight being way too adorable for you to handle this early in the morning

Eren senses his presence as well , turning around , both of you guys forgetting about your previous conversation . you clear your throat, sensing some sort of tension in the room “ hey youre finally out ! i was going to make you something to eat but turns out the fridge is empty “ you rub your neck sheepishly , making a mental note to go grocery shopping asap .

Armins eyes widen at this , his hands extending and quickly shaking “ oh no no , please you dont have to, i dont want to be more of a bother than i already am ,” he shyly looks down at the floor , swinging his body , slightly nervous

You smile seeing his cute habit of not making eye contact, fetching your car keys off the wall “ well i bet youre missing your home right ? i can drive you home now if you want “ you also grab the plastic bag off the floor by the corridor

Armin seems to stiffen again , eren now chuckling , his hands stuffed in his sweatpants , noticing how the blonde boy seems way to nervous around you guys . armin looks at eren momentarily before he looks at the floor again ‘ how the hell do you guys look so good this early in the morning ‘ he thinks ‘ meanwhile here he is looking all messed up ‘

“I actually dont live too far away, i can walk home by myself “ armin lies straight out of his teeth , clearly not doing it well judging by the look of your face . youre not convinced seeing as the whole reason why he’s here in the first place was because he was wandering alone.

“ id feel much better knowing that someone is walking you home , i dont want a repeat of what happened yesterday .” you bite your lip, now staring more intensely at the boy in front of you

Armin mentally groans ‘ damn you and your kindness, why cant you get the hint that he doesnt want to hassle you any longer ?’

“Well um … “ he pauses, intensely thinking of a solution that doesnt involve him burdening you guys any further when he hears some shuffling and then someone handing a phone to him. Armin looks up and green eyes stare back at him

“Do you have anyone you can call ? a friend maybe to come pick you up ? “ eren suggests , reading right through the boy

“ o-oh y-yes i do umm thank you , for your phone i mean “ armin scrambles to take the phone and calls his roommate , knowing for sure she is freaking out about his whereabouts

He hands the phone back to eren and shuffles his feet “ luckily she is around the area and can pick me up in 5 minutes , i can wait outside …” you ponder for a second at this suggestions , before ultimately nodding

“Yeah sounds like a solid plan , okay , here take this bag before you head out “ you hand it over and armin looks at you and tilts his head slightly “ its your clothes from last night , i washed them and folded them , oh and your bag is also inside “ you explain while he peeks at the contents inside grief striking his face

‘How much exaclty did you do for him , he’s the worst guest ever in history , throwing up all over your bathroom ‘ he cringes at the thought. He's definitely gonna think about this experience at night,when he reminisces about all the embarrassing moments he's had in his lifetime

“Thank you guys so much for all youve done , i really do appreciate it “ armin rubs at his nape laughing out softly “ well i should get going “ he goes to the entrance, hand on the knob

“Yeah absolutely no problem , take care pretty boy ! “ you say waving , smiling brightly when you see his cheeks flush once more , eren just nodding goodbye . he waves a small goodbye before leaving , closing the door gently . sighing in relief when he got out.

Armin walks out into the street and sure enough there is his roommate , waiting and the look on her face looks not so pleasantly happy .he knows what is going to happen. he opens the car door ready to hear her badgering soon enough

“Look , mikasa , i can ex-” not so shortly as he begins his sentence, she yells out

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOUVE BEEN ? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK I WAS WHEN YOU DIDNT PICK UP MY MANY PHONE CALLS ? ARE THOSE BANDAGES IM SEEING? “ armin winced at her reprimations, slowly sinking further into the passenger seat as she kept rambling, knowing that he has to face her wrath for the whole drive home .

he still has no clue as to what exactly happened last night, the only thing he can do is hope his memories would come back soon and clear up his many questions

#sub eren jaegar #sub!armin #sub aot #sub!aot #armin arlert #sub! eren #armin fic #sub eren #sub armin

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aboardthehavocmarauder · 3 years

Text

Beautiful Mischief [Pt. 2]

Bad Batch x Reader • Angst/Fluff/NSFW (yknow the whole deal) • Mechanic [hidden Jedi] ! Reader • Female reader

You’re safe with me little one

I’m never leaving you

I’ll protect you until the night falls on my last breath

Y/F/N Y/L/N, I’m here in your darkest hour

I will save you from these dark times

I promise

——

Y/N jolts up hitting the engine head first making herself wince in a bit of pain. She sighs laying back and relaxing for a moment.

“We’re back!” Wrecker announces as Y/N relaxes instantly.

“I’m down here. Don’t start anything while I am”

“Of course Y/N” Tech reassure stepping onto the ship with Wrecker and Crosshair.

Hunter stepped off the ramp and followed Echo as he went to help Y/N if she needed it. But he felt the tension in the space and left to ponder.

“What happened?”

“Well besides Cross and Tech voting for me not to join you on today’s mission, I decided to fix the hyperspace and add in a cloaking mechanism I used...used in my past days,” Y/N says quietly as she connects the device and making sure it is secured as Echo frowns.

“What happened to you that you needed to hide? The cloaking mechanism was for that wasn’t it?”

“Echo...”

“I know my past is all built on war, but it doesn’t mean that it didn’t affect me”

“Echo. I like you the most even if you are the newest to the batch. When I’m ready to trust you. I will tell you” Y/N assured him as she puts the panel back on before heading upstairs with him following with a distance.

Did I push something?

——

Please...

A dathomirian stepped into the cell taking Y/N by the throat, getting a good look of her. He dragged his nail in deep into the side cutting into a lymph node.

“Sweet girl...” He smirks retracting his hand. “You’ll carry my marks...to let the Galaxy know”

Who you belong to

——

Tech narrows his gaze on Y/N’s neck as she helps him fly the Havoc. He slows down the drive making her look at him.

“How can you speak?”

“What?”

“The scar on your neck has keloids. That’s deep scar tissue that cannot go away on its own—-“

“For fucks sake Tech, do you want to see the fucking rest of them?” Y/N snaps seeing Tech sit back gripping the steering as the second he was about to speak again— “NO” she snaps getting up and leaving the cockpit.

Hunter and Cross were about to join the two when they heard the yelling and watch Y/N abruptly stepped out. Hunter entered seeing the distressed look on Tech’s face as he sat beside him asking about what happened while Crosshair follows Y/N into the storage.

“Who do you think you are?”

“Excuse me?!”

“You aren’t a leader in this force. You have no rights”

“Crosshair—“

“No! You don’t get to yell at my fucking brother thinking you’re entitled. You are just some prick from Coruscant that’s good with a few fucking tools. You had everything in the fucking hanger. On that fucking planet—“

“IM NOT FROM FUCKING CORUSCANT” Y/N yells at Crosshair as it echoed throughout the ship. “JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE MADE FOR THE WAR AND HAVE SUFFERED. DOESNT MEAN YOURE THE ONLY FUCKING ONE CROSS.”

As Crosshair stops his talk, it wasn’t the right time for the others to join the two.

“What’s all the yelling for?! What did Cross do this time?”

“Wrecker—“

“I said something earlier and I guess—-“

“Shut. Up. Echo” Y/N gave him a death stare as Hunter steps into her view.

“Calm down. None of us meant to push anything”

“But he did” She points at Cross, getting up all his business. “You think you can come in a lecture me about how I treat your brothers? Yes I was an ass and I’m sorry to both Tech and Echo. But you both don’t know me well to start questioning shit. That goes out to all of you.”

Tech held his head down feeling awful as Echo steps back to keep his distance and Cross continued to glare. Before Hunter could stop him—

“If you want to be apart of the Bad Batch, you’re going to have to compromise. Or you’ll die”

Y/N narrows her gaze before stepping back and keeping her distance from all five of them, then taking a step out of the ship and taking a walk.

“Tech, why were you curious?”

“Hunt I didn’t mean to trigger this kind of response. I was only curious about the scar on her neck because in most causes the scar tissue would’ve affected their entire throat making it difficult to heal”

“And Echo?”

“She added a cloaking mechanism into the ship in case we hit some difficult people on these future missions. But this device was old and has been through the ringer. I asked why they used it because they were flown to Coruscant. The device was modified to work on a person. Not a ship until she modified it.”

“You think they are a fugitive?”

“By the scar, Cross. There could be more and I doubt they’ve done anything”

“So a victim” Wrecker finishes seeing all of their expressions go south.

“Or both” Cross adds getting a few looks by his brothers as he glares at them all before leaving.

He’s going to apologize

——

“Code them”

“What?”

“The chip we stole was modified to be...a bit more controlling”

“W-Wait. You’re not gonna—“

“Enjoy the pain sweetheart” The dathomirian smirks watching as the droids locked Y/N’s head in place along with their torso and arms. Leaving her legs to be the only thing not bound. But the kicking didn’t help her.

Neither did the force

——

Crosshair stops in the clearing on Endor seeing Y/N sitting in the middle surrounded by a circle of trees leading to the rest of the moon’s forest. He props himself up against the tree keeping his distance and scanning the scene.

“What are you doing?” Y/N frowns from the ground she sat on, turning to Crosshair. “Hunter is more quiet when sneaking around”

“I was trying to be obvious, doll face”

“Okay...and what the fuck do you want?” Y/N bites getting up off the ground and stepping toward him.

“I was going to apologize”

“And?”

“Your attitude makes me not want to anymore”

Y/N glares before sprinting at him as he caught on quickly. Cross grabbed her hand when she threw her punches but only for her to swing his entire body over theirs.

“You think I’m not fast on my feet little one?” Cross snaps catching his ground not falling to his knees just yet. He quickly slide on the dirt reaching for her torso swinging her toward him as he brought himself close.

Y/N states grabbing his hips bringing her knee up as he blocked the action with his hand. But soon she slides through his legs kicking him in the back knocking him down.

“You can’t be that quick—“

“You don’t know me”

“Right. I fucking don’t” Crosshair bites seeing Y/N’s shoulders relax before rapidly turning toward the tree behind her and forcing a punch through it. “What the hell---”

The tree immediately fell causing Crosshair to swiftly roll over so it wouldn’t fall on him. The fear coursing in his veins witnessing such caused him to look at her with disbelief as Y/N stood proudly.

“No one knows me”

#the bad batch #bad batch #the bad batch x reader #bad batch x reader #wrecker bad batch #tech bad batch #crosshair bad batch #echo bad batch #hunter bad batch #aboardthehavocmarauder

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txdoroki · 3 years

Note

Hello ^^~

May I request Todoroki, Bakugo, Midoriya and Denki's reaction to the readers confession? In which they also have a crush on the reader? 💜

hi! yes ofc,, sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! been busy >,<

since it’s so long it’ll be under the cut :^

include todoroki, bakugou, midoriya, denki, kirishima :P

might do a pt 3, lmk what characters yall wanna see ^-^

part 2 has been done

words: 1696

not edited btw i wrote this at 4am lmk if something doesnt make sense and i’ll fix it ahhhhhhhhhh

todoroki would be like 0-0 the entire time.

“hey todoroki, wanna go out on a date with me? we could go to the movies or wherever, it’s your choice,” you smiled up at him while he walked beside you, carrying both of your bags of schoolwork and books while he stared off at the road in front of you both.

he had always made an effort to do small, caring things for you. he’d hold the door, carry your books, or walk you home after school among many other things. you didn’t think much of it, you’d both been friends for a while, so you figured he was just being kind. no, no that wasn’t it.. he was just bad at showing he wanted to be more than just kind. more than just your friend from a while ago.

he was taken aback by your question, and internally cursed at himself for not asking you weeks ago.

“um, todoroki?” you softly shook his arm when he seemed to have zoned out on the ground, but your bright smile didn’t fade. he adored that from you, he loved how eager you were to spend time with him. to talk with him. to try and learn about him. to do anything at all with him. you were so sweet and understanding, always.

“oh, yeah sure,” he nodded at you, glancing down at you from sheer nervousness that you’d be laughing at him. that it’d be a prank.

when you picked up on how on the edge he seemed to be, you leaned into him a bit, a goofy attempt at ensuring you wanted to go and it wasn’t a forced thing.

“you know, i’ve liked you for a while,” you grinned at him, winking when you saw his eyes quickly flash between content and joy.

“me too,”

bakugou would be like ??!??!?!?!?!?!!???!?!!? who???? me??!?!?!?!?!!?? how??!?!?!?!?!?! screaming internally but on the outside like duhhhh

“hey, bakugou, i have a crush on you, by the way,” you whispered in his ear from behind the beanbag chair he was seated in. him and denki were in the middle of a wii tennis match, mina, sero, and kirishima all focusing on it to see who won.

“what? fucking dumbass, hold on a sec,” he scoffed when you ran your hair through his hair, ruffling it while he tried batting your hand away with his free one.

he tried to maintain focus on the match, lowkey trying to impress you with him winning. it was difficult, his mind kept drifting off to you and your cute face and your cute- back to the game, he’s gotta win. for you. after what felt like forever, he finally won, then dragged you out of denki’s dorm.

“ooo sneaky link?” you heard mina giggle, and the three boys that remained in the dorm roared with laughter.

it got louder when bakugou screamed over his shoulder as he took you by the hand away from the dorm, “fuck off, extra, hell no,”

once you were both out of earshot he smirked, “so, you think i’m hot?” he rolled his eyes when you giggled and nodded, and a blush covered both of your faces, “well, you’re okay, i guess,”

“so when’s the date?” you smiled at him, chuckling when he pulled out his phone to check his fucking calendar app. such an old man.

after a few seconds, he pulled up a date on his phone and turned it to you. only a week from then.. ”february 14,” he winked at you and walked away, not even turning back, “see you at the dorm, dumbass,”

midoriya would be like ≧◉◡◉≦

“all might’s spot as the top hero will not be easily passed by endeavor, or anyone else. he’s great for many reasons, would you like to hear them?” he only paused for a second, turning his head to see your amused nod before immediately continuing, “well first of all his quirk is-”

“midoriya, i wanna date you, if you want,” you interrupted and slowly put a hand on his arm, softly smiling at him.

“huh?” the small sentence shook him from his ranting, and he turned his entire body to look at you. your cheeks heated from the disoriented stare he gave you. he was that shaken up by something you’d said? “really?”

“yes, of course. you’re very handsome and very passionate and ve-”

“yeah of course i’ll date you, thank you, y/n,” he kissed your forehead before turning back to the school hallway, ignoring the excited giggles of his classmates, “okay, so all might’s quirk is obvi....” his mind started wandering to how excited he was at the thought of dating you. it was a dream come true. “oh, sorry, so his quirk is obviously very good for hero w-”

“midoriya, can we go to your dorm after school?” you interrupted him again, smiling sweetly at him. sometimes it was difficult for him to not talk about heroes and all about them all, but you understood and tried helping out with other things.

“oh, of course, sweetie.. hah, can i call you sweetie? or would you prefer just y/n?” he began going on and on about the different things he wanted to call you if you were comfortable, not stopping until you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to both of yours next bell.

ugh, calculus.

denki is like oh.? hehehehehehehehe

you were sprawled out on your best friend’s bed, laying starfish on your back as you huffed about how frustrated and annoying today was. although you held back the most important part. it was especially frustrating how much you adored him. the good ole denki kaminari. you had these feelings for quite a while, trying your best not to confess. i mean, he was a class flirt, he wouldn’t like you back, right?

nah. he hadn’t flirted with anyone other than you in months. and you were the only one that didn’t pick up on it.

“c’mon, y/n, i know you aren’t telling the full story. say what’s on your mind,” denki lightly ran his fingers up and down your right leg. it tickled but not enough to be uncomfortable.

“i can’t,” you groaned, giggling when he rolled his eyes and persisted, saying no matter what he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“if you tell me, i’ll give you five bucks, y/n,” he chuckled when you sighed and finally nodded. when you sat up, he turned so you could tell he was listening to what you had to say.

“fine, but only for the money,” you giggled, “i uh.. i’ve been interested in you for a really long time now.. but i understand if you don-”

wait what

he kissed you, moving his hand up to cup your cheek. your eyes slowly closed, leaning into his touch.

holy shit he kissed you???

when you were let go, your cheeks felt burning hot.

“denk-”

he kissed you again, and you melted into it. it felt like fireworks, euphoria filling your body.

“so does this mean you like me back?” you nervously played with your hands, trying your best to disregard the harsh red blush that was thrown on your face.

“well, duh, took ya long enough,” he chuckled, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

you cried out when you heard the click of his phone camera, and went to hide yourself.

“awe you look so beautiful, y/n. can’t wait to brag about you, baby,” he winked at you, typing something into his phone.

later that day you checked snapchat and saw on his private story the photo of you plus a caption, it read,

“they finally realized, big dummy. y/n if you see this, you’re lucky you’re a good kisser ;)”

you shook your head and ran to his dorm, pounding on the door. you were gonna beat him up.

kirishima is a big ole softie duhhh everyone knows this. he best boy, no arguing!!

you sighed as kirishima held you to his chest, the lovely feeling of your growing feelings for him hummed in your chest. you had tried hard to push it back, how would that work out? would he reciprocate? was this only platonic?

“are you alright, y/n?” he whispered into your neck when he heard the sigh, trying to hide the deep red hue on his cheeks from you.

you both had agreed not to catch feelings for each other, fine at first with just cuddles and sweet compliments. no specific ties to the affections, just a way for the both of you to feel loved. an ideal thing to have, except that both of you were slowly breaking the agreement.

you both ached for each other, but neither of you wanted to be the first to admit it. it was simply too risky.

“y-yeah, sorry, just thinking,”

“awe, no need to be sorry, pumpkin, what’s that pretty brain of yours thinking of?” he ran his fingers through your hair, appreciating the shivers of content that had you moving a small bit in his hold.

when you didn’t respond, he cocked an eyebrow, wondering if you hadn’t heard him or if you just chose to be quiet.

“pebble, what’re you thinking about?” he asked again, gently running his hand up and down your arm.

too deep in your thoughts to actually comprehend you were saying this out loud and not in your head, you whispered, “i wanna date you, i don’t want this to be just platonic. i need to be with you, kiri,”

“oh? you need to?” he smirked, chuckling when your eyes widened as you realized you had actually said that out loud, “well, if it’s a need.. i can make it happen, of course,”

“w-wait what?”

“you said you need to be with me, you weren’t lying, were you?” you slowly shook your head no, avoiding his gaze that bore into your skin, “let’s do that then, how’s that sound, pumpkin?”

“good,” you smiled into his chest, trying to move your hand to your arm to pinch you. were you dreaming?

you weren’t, this was real.

the man you’d liked for a while liked you back, oh hell yeah.

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junicai · 3 years

Text

not working.

| summary | With swimming walls and tablets that don’t work, who’s better suited to take care of a feverish Aria than her doting older brothers?

| word count | 3k

| warnings | illness

| era | circa. November 2018

31. "This is the third time I've had to put you back in the bed. Why the hell do you want to lie on the floor so bad?"

a/n: cassia: “127 doesnt call aria baby that often.” also cassia: “babybabybabybaby-”

Aria got sea sick easily. The combination of the waves that had a boat rocking back and forth and back and forth over and over again had her stomach rolling in tandem. The floor would wobble beneath her feet and her vision with it, the grey water lapping against the small window in the belly of the ship.

It was an unnerving experience - and one she’d never like to repeat after the first hour-long boat trip she took aged eight, that had her hanging over the stern and gagging, face as pale as the seafoam that clapped against the sides of the small boat.

The minutes crawled by and the only real memory Aria has of the trip is how she stumbled off the boat and onto the pier, legs like jelly and hands outspread to catch herself when she inevitably pitched forward onto the cobbles.

It was not an experience she ever wished to repeat.

And yet, with her bedroom walls seemingly swimming around her head and her stomach rocking like a dinghy in a turbulent sea, Aria couldn’t imagine being on a boat was much worse than this. Hell, she’d take standing over the barriers over lying on her back in sweat-soaked sheets, tossing and turning in an attempt to keep the left side of her body tucked beneath the blankets and the right side exposed to the cool air.

She felt like she was being baked alive, yet simultaneously like she was resting beneath a block of ice. Her flushed cheeks paired with her dazed eyes made it hard to focus on anything, and for the third time in the last minute, she found herself flopping over angrily to try and find the cool side of her pillow.

She landed on the ground with a heavy thunk, and if a whine left her lips at the impact then that was between her miserable self and the walls.

And apparently Taeil, who had peeked in his head at the exact time she’d rolled herself out of the bed.

He sighed heavily, eyes pinched as he set down the blue mug he was holding on a pile of books on the desk, the steam fogging up the small mirror behind it.

“This is the third time I’ve had to put you back in the bed. Why the hell do you want to lie on the floor so bad?” He scolded with no real heat behind his words, hands already slipping beneath her knees to heave the slight girl back onto the bed.

Aria only whined again, rolling over to face the wall when she was safely placed onto the bed. She jerked lightly when her back twinged with the movement, but refused to turn back around when Taeil placed a comforting hand on the exposed skin of her lower back from her thin t-shirt riding up.

“Doyoungie’s gone to get the pills you need, okay? He’ll be back in twenty minutes, tops, and then we can get you an ice-pack,”

Aria shook her head.

“A heat pack, then,” Taeil compromised.

Aria huffed, biting her lip to stop the pained whimper from breaking out from between her lips as Taeil’s fingers pressed ever so slightly into the tensed muscle.

“I know, baby, I know.” He soothed, his gentle massaging not ceasing. “It hurts, right?”

She nodded, curling over into herself.

“Ah, no no. Don’t do that,” Taeil leant over to straighten her back up. “You’ll strain your back even more like that, and then where would we be?”

Aria swallowed her protest that told Taeil in not-so-nice-words that it was more comfortable than whatever weird pencil position she was currently lying in; knowing that he was only trying to help, and her being difficult was only going to make him upset.

But god why did it have to hurt this much?

She knew that coming down so hard off the stage was going to put her out of action for a while, but it had been eight months and she was still getting flare-ups of pain after every second practice they held. She was getting sick of needing to take a break every hour and sit against the mirror with an ice-pack cradled to her back.

With the low-grade fever that she was now running because the universe hated her and wanted her to suffer, the world sucked and Aria was content to believe that every living thing had it out for her.

Except for Taeil. He was lovely.

A tear escaped the tight hold Aria had on her tear ducts and despite the hand she shot up to cover her nose, the sniffle she made was still obvious to Taeil’s attentive ears.

He leant over slightly, looking for her face and sighing lightly when she only turned to bury it in the singular pillow that had escaped her earlier thrashing and hadn’t ended up on the floor. It was a nice comfort, and she shoved her nose further into the cotton when Taeil bent over further.

“Baby no, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry, that’s okay. C’mere,” Taeil paid no heed to Aria’s soft cry at being moved again, and ever-so-carefully tugged the girl into his lap where he could still rub a hand over her locked muscles while using his unoccupied thumb to swipe away the tears that threatened to spill over her waterline.

Aria blinked up at him for a moment, his hair falling in to his eyes but not masking the concern that blew his pupils wide and the way he was so gentle with swiping underneath her eyes knowing that they were strained because she hadn’t been wearing her glasses recently; and promptly burst into tears.

Taeil only tugged her closer, letting her hide her face in his stomach this time as he pet through her hair that hadn’t been washed in three days and was really full of tangles that caught on his fingers as he tried to comb through it without disturbing the crying girl in his lap.

He resumed his careful massaging of her back - well-versed with the act with Taeyong, a dongsaeng possessing the same crippling inability as Aria that left them unable to see a 'time to stop sign' if it hit them in the face - but paused when he saw the bruises creeping up her lower spine and past the edge of the t-shirt.

Eyebrows knitting together, he looked down at Aria, who’s cries were slowly beginning to peter out.

“Ari,” He began softly, “I thought the medication was helping?”

She stiffened beneath his hand, and Taeil recoiled slightly, if nothing but to make her feel a little more at ease.

At a closer inspection, the colours were a myriad of different colour; some a reddish-purple, and others a yellowing brown, spreading far over her back and onto the tops of her arms that were visible through the loose neck hole, meaning that they were far older than Aria’s first tumble out of the bed - an event that had only occurred that morning.

When Taeil brushed his fingers lightly over the bruise, Aria jerked away.

With her back pressed onto the wall, she paid no mind to the short stab of pain that fired up her spine as her wet eyes met Taeil’s, deep concern only growing behind them.

“Ari, what’s that? Are they not helping?”

She shook her head.

“You should have told us, baby, we could have brought you back to get you tested again-”

“No!” Aria’s shout startled both herself and Taeil.

Doyoung’s head appeared in the doorway. “Why’re we yelling?”

Aria shrunk back against the wall, knees curling up to her stomach. Doyoung tutted, moving forward to unfurl her legs. “Don’t sit like that, you’ll only cause yourself more pain.”

It was true, that position had sent electric shocks up her lower back but she was too stubborn to admit that to him, so instead she settled for looking down at the sheets, fingers fumbling with a loose thread.

It had snagged on one of her rings a couple of weeks ago, pulling the jewelry away from her finger in such a way that it scraped against the skin - leaving a shallow, but still painful, cut on the top of her finger.

Aria had slapped a band-aid on it without giving it much thought after rinsing the blood off of her hand underneath the tap, but when the band-aid had inevitably slipped off nearly two hours later during a dance practice, the tiny cut was still oozing blood slightly.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on? Or do I have to ask hyung?” Doyoung came to sit down on the bed beside her, hand seeking out hers to stop her pulling at the thread. “Don’t pull on that, you’ll make it worse.”

“Sorry.” Aria mumbled, not looking at him.

A silence filled the room for several seconds, broken by Doyoung’s clearing of his throat.

“Well?”

Aria’s lower lip trembled slightly. “It’s nothing, really, Taeil oppa was exaggerating slightly,”

“I wasn’t.”

“It’s just that - it’s nothing, it’s not a big deal, please don’t freak out, I promise if I was in pain I would have gone to someone, you or Taeil oppa or Yuta or someone -”

“Baby, you need to breathe.”

She hadn’t even noticed that she was hyperventilating.

With a choked gasp, Aria cut herself off and inhaled greedily, hands grasping at her throat as she coughed. Doyoung knelt forward to pat her back as Taeil came to sit down on the other side of her.

She stayed silent for the next minute, working on getting her breathing back under control as Taeil murmured soft encouragements and Doyoung coaxed her lungs back into working order with a gentle hand rubbing over her back.

It was comforting, right up until Doyoung sat back and fixed her with another look. Something that said you’re not getting out of this one and something that Aria hated with a passion being on the end of, because she never once got out of it.

It’s the reason Donghyuck got in trouble for accidentally breaking Jaehyun’s favourite mug. She just couldn’t lie.

“What’s going on, baby?”

Aria sniffed. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

Doyoung and Taeil exchanged a look. “Promise, baby. We won’t be mad, but you have to tell us what’s going on, okay? The whole truth, not a part of it.”

Breath stuttering a little bit, Aria twisted her back as much as it would allow her without pain to tug up the end of her t-shirt and show Doyoung the bottom ends of the bruises that amassed her back and shoulders.

They were crude colours, and honestly, Aria wouldn’t blame a person if they saw them and thought she had been beaten with a stick. The deep purpling, almost black colour was offset by the sickly green and yellow tinge the healing bruises had taken, only to be covered yet again by fresh contusions encroaching on the skin.

By the sharp intake of breath, Doyoung agreed with her.

“Baby,” His voice was anguished. “No, baby, you told us the medication was helping?

The medication. It had been four months since she’d been to the hospital to get the seemingly-endless bruises that appeared out of nowhere checked out. The sterile walls were cold to stare at as she was poked and prodded and asked indirect questions that were actually meant for her manager to answer, and the conversation that they’d had over her head made her feel small.

She’d been given a pat on the head for her troubles, and sent out of the ward with a prescription for PROCRIT, a small tablet that was - she was told - made of epoetin alfa, designed to treat her condition.

Having been cautioned against the side-effects, and being told to take them once a day in the morning, Aria had fitted the tablets into her morning routine; right after the multivitamin she was also instructed to take daily.

And, after a month of downing a tiny white pill each morning; nothing had happened. The bruises were still appearing at an alarming rate, barely healing before another one could take its place.

But the members had looked so relieved when Aria had come back into the dorms with an orange bottle clutched in her fist - so very relieved that there was something that could help, that yes, they knew what was wrong and there in those tiny white pills lay the answer that had been alluding them for so long.

Aria hated those tiny white pills.

Hated everything about them.

Nevertheless, she couldn’t bare to see Yuta look at her with such worry in his eyes again, couldn’t bare to see the flicker of panic that brushed Renjun’s face as he’d catch a glimpse of a mottled bruise over her collarbone.

She’d kept it hidden from most of the members, but unfortunately, some were more perceptive than others.

Taeyong, Yuta and Donghyuck were amongst the first to notice, with Renjun, Mark and Doyoung coming close behind. The other 127 members had been filled in when Aria had been sent to the hospital for her checkup, but the decision had been made to not tell the Dreamies until there was a prognosis available.

Anemia, was what they’d called it. Her blood cells just, went AWOL. Called it a day, and took the evening off.

So, taking it all into account, Aria couldn’t see the harm in keeping it all under wraps. She wasn’t in pain, and it wasn’t like anemia could kill her, even if the medication wasn’t doing what it was designed to do. It meant that she could stop taking the little pills, and if she had a stash of them buried in a cup in her bedside locker that she hid them in; then that was her business and nobody else’s.

Well. Until now.

“It did help! At the beginning!” Aria insisted, the lie spilling off her lips easily in an effort to sooth the upset that was building in the room.

A hand on her thigh had her looking over to Taeil, the man appearing grim. “You don’t have to make the truth pretty for us, baby. Tell us what’s going on. Why haven’t they been helping? Have you been taking them daily?”

“I- I stopped.”

“When?”

“A couple of weeks ago - I didn’t see the point in buying them when they weren’t helpful so I, I didn’t tell anyone when they ran out.” She hung her head slightly, focused on the flooring.

“Oh, baby.” Doyoung extended an arm and Aria all but flung herself into his chest. He ran a hand over her head and held her there, just breathing together. She really felt like crying again, even though the last time was only a couple of minutes ago. Everything was piling on top of each other; her back feeling like someone had tried acupuncture and failed miserably, the fact that she could probably sear a steak on her forehead what with how hot it was, the fact that she still couldn’t see because her glasses were on her locker, and now this?

“You know, we’re going to have to talk about this secret-keeping, right? Like it or not, you’re our maknae, and that means you don’t lie to us.” He pulled away to find her eyes, fixing her with a stare. “Especially, about important things like your health.”

“Had we known that they weren’t helping, we would have gone back to the hospital, seen what they could have told us. You didn’t need to hide this from us baby.” Taeil interjected, hand finding Aria’s.

She shook her head. “Don’ wanna go back to the hospital. Don’t like it there.”

Doyoung ran a hand through her hair. “I know baby, I don’t think many people do. Would you feel better if oppa came with you?”

That’s how you know Doyoung was really worried. If he referred to himself as oppa, in any context, then it was never really a question in the first place.

Aria forwent a verbal confirmation and chose to nod instead, pushing herself back into Doyoung’s warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her loosely, still mindful of her back.

Speaking of, Taeil had disappeared midway through the conversation, now re-appearing with a glass of water and a painkiller tablet in the palm of his hand. His face was apologetic, but non-yielding as he pushed the pill into Aria’s palm and held up the glass of water for her to swallow it with.

The water was nice on her throat, and she realized how thirsty she was as she held onto the glass and drank the water, not caring of the little bit she spilled over her lower lip.

Taeil wiped it away with the end of his sleeve, folding up the now damp material before extending an arm and leaning back onto the pillow on her bed.

And Aria was weak, but even more so when she felt like the world was out to get her, so she went willingly into his embrace, letting him settle her in a position that wouldn’t strain her back.

“Heat or ice?” Doyoung called from the doorway.

“Heat?” Taeil looked down to check on an already dozing Aria. She nodded sleepily and, Taeil relayed the message to Doyoung, who disappeared through the door frame.

Aria snuggled deeper into Taeil’s chest, and the man pressed a cool hand to her forehead, frowning a little at the head.

“If I leave you to get a fever reducer, will you try to roll off the bed again.”

“No promises.”

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lizandbo · 3 years

Text

when they break your devices w/ hq bois

Okie-ha alright....so ummm i did this becuase i need some relaxation cuz I accidentally broke my sisters switch *cough cough ima gonna be fucked and dead/ shot on sight*

Tsukishima

- fussing, he did it so fucking secretly it was like MaGIC

- it took a YEAR when you figured it out...like godamnnn

- he used your disks for the week, ya know why the fuck not

- and when he tried a new game becuase he got pissed off so he switched the other game out and put the new one in...but when it wasn’t going in like he wanted it, pussyboi slamed it in and broke it in half

- tsuki baby...I’m sorry but your gonna face mama bear for now

- more like a fucking year

- he got it allll covered up

- “oh its at my house , ill get it when i have the chance”

- but he forgot

- or “not right now I’m still using the three”

- bitch, they’re were four not three, but ya know yo girl is a little airheaded When talking to you

- anywho... the day after teh fucking year, you went to his room to get somethin but you glanced near the console and saw the broken disk

- *inhales through the nose harshly* “TSUKISHIMAAAAAA”

-tsukifucker went in to check if you were hurt anything of the sort but instead he just saw you hold the two pieces of the disks in your hand up in the air ready to smash against his head, like he deserves

- “y/n..its been broken and i meant to tell you that but i really forgot”

- “mmhhmmm yeah, okay...your not getting cuddles for a weeK”

- “deal. I really dont deserve it tho”

- “oh hell yes you do”

- “well, after the punishment can i have the rest of the disks?”

- “why?”

- “becuase you love me”

-”fucking fine”

- you two did not do the ‘a week off cuddling’ part tho

Asahi

- alright he’s gonna be like infinityx original nervousness

- hell probably try to hide and said he “lost it” even tho its on his bookshelf in his room

- its cracked allllll the way (the Nintendo) from the other side from the other

- you would’ve killed him becuase its so fucking obvious- who wouldn’t???

- so it cracked in August, now its February...and its been a long time

- he was playing animals crossing a lot on it

- it didnt break per say but it had a huge mf crack in the middle all tho its still working

- so today was the day that you asked him to find the switch or tell him where the switch was in case he forgot ot tell you when he did

- but baby boy doesn’t wanna own his actions

- now he sweatin

-”ummm,...i dont know where it is but ill find it soon”

- “okie dokei baby”

- rtexrytcuyivuboihljo;gfhcgjvyhkubli; now he dead...literally, no take backs now

- he almost died on the fucking spot when he asked you out and confessed feeling but....NOW? SWITCH?!? BROKEN?!?!

- just...like...why-

- so he wiggled his hands in fright like its gonna jump scare the fuck out of him

- he walked to your place imagining your reaction...are ya gonna break up with him? Or are you gonna accept his apology?

- either way your gonna be a little annoyed

- he went to your room and softly knocked on it and once you open it he almost fainted and chucked handed you the switch and covered his eyes becuase h doesnt know what to do

- you just looked back up to him once he peeked an eye thought the holes of his hands

- “..so you broke it...and thats why you hid it all these months?”

- “ its not like that! Swear!”

- ‘its okay..i guess, its just you coudlve told me when you did the action- and also can you still play it?”

- you could stilll play it..and I’m sorry..”

- dammit why does he looks so hot when hes bashful

- “it’s alright...I’m not mad at you, kinda disappointed in ya but, we can always go back to the store and fix it”

- “I’m so glad that your not mad at me”

- yeah you could bet you have cuddles afterwards

#tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #asahi #asahi x reader #asahi fluff #asahi x headcanons #lizandbo #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #asahi x you #asahi x y/n #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you

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diavolosthots · 4 years

Note

Hi! Ok, I know I already asked for this type of thing once, but I hope it's alright if I request the brothers and a suicidal s/o? It's completely ok if not, I can think of something else. Thank you very much!

I avoided this for a minute because ya know, the topic, but I feel like it needs to be addressed since so many people lately have been down.

First and Foremost, if you or someone you know is experiencing these thoughts and or has attempted, please reach out for help. There are better days to come and life does get easier. The National s*icide prevention hotline for the U.S. is: 1-800-273-8255. Most of my followers are from the U.S., but if you are not from the U.S., please reach out to your respective hotline/people.

Warning: mentions of s*icide, mentions of self harm, intense reactions

THE BROTHERS to a s*icidal MC

Lucifer:

He didn't know what to do; for days youve seemed so helpless, so empty. He watched you move through the days without any real reaction to anything, just gloomy eyes and a tired body moving along the halls. He tried reaching out and he really didn't want to push it, but he was tired of the "im fine" when he knew you were not. So he sits you down and he forces you to speak; you can break down against him, he will hold you close. He will help you through it. Believe in yourself a little more.

Mammon:

He knew something was off the minute you got mad that he always popped into your room unannounced and he knew you were hiding something too. Imagine the shock he had to find goodbye letters and pills all prepared. Of course he confronted you, yelling until both you and him broke down into a crying mess. He reached out for you, pulling you almost too tightly against him; how can you dare think of leaving when he hasn't even had the chance to really meet you yet? When he just worked up the courage to accept his feelings; to love you.

Leviathan:

It started when you only wanted to wear long sleeves, when you stopped cuddling up to him, and when you didn't laugh with him anymore. At first, he thought he did something wrong; who wants a yucky otaku anyway. But he noticed you did the same with everyone and he got concerned. He admits, he was a little too rough with you that day, forcing your sleeves up your arms to see fresh cuts as shock took over. No, no,no ! Why would you do that!? You cant just... Give up! Who do you think you are! Hes mad, hurt, confused. Why dont you reach out for help? He can help you! He wants to help you!

Satan:

He was tough, he admits. And he lost his cool toward you on more than one occasion, but he always made up with you. So why were you avoiding him now? Were you mad at him again? He shouted, he admits. Until you broke down and explained yourself. And then? Silence. He didn't know what to do, he didn't have any words of knowledge to help you expect that you need to seek help. Right now. He will force you to go see a specialist; hell he'll even become a specialist. But you need help. This is not the way out.

Asmodeus:

Imagine the look of sheer terror on his face as you admit to him how you truly think. How you truly feel. Does he not love you enough? Does he love you too much? Is it not him at all? Darling, why do you listen to useless people and thoughts? Trust in him when he tells you youre amazing, when he tells you he loves you. Because he does, and he won't stop until you love yourself too. Until you see the wonderful being you are, that everyone else sees too.

Beelzebub:

He noticed, of course. Your change in demeanor and the way you didnt laugh with him anymore. He was the first to confront you too, picking up on your sadness like he does so often. You can't be serious in attempting or even thinking of doing such things; why? He starts to get angry, not at you of course, but maybe a little. So what, life gets tough and you give up? Absolutely not. Unacceptable. There's ways out and ways to help that doesnt involve any of that bs and by God he will force you to find one.

Belphegor:

He found you on the roof one night, thinking that you were just sitting there like he so often does; wrong. Upon realizing that you had other intentions, he couldn't help himself and slapped you. Granted, he apologized, but he was just so furious at your words and how ridiculous you are for thinking of doing such things when you could just ask for help! They would get you help, he would get you help. He cant just have another person leave his life without him having the chance to fix it!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #asmodeus obey me #obey me lucifer #mammon obey me #leviathan obey me #obey me satan #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #tw depression #tw suicice #tw

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