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darkpoisonouslove · 2 years

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Hi :)! 1, 2, 11, 21, 24 for the writing ask game?

1. Tell us about your WIP!

I'm passively working on 300 things so I don't know which one to pick. I just finished the first draft of a story yesterday but it's not actually done yet so I may as well talk about that.

It was supposed to be mostly smut but now it's 30% worldbuilding, 60% feels and 10% smut (at least there's still some of that there; at the rate this was going that's a miracle). Is all of the worldbuilding, especially in the beginning, necessary? No. Can I make it somewhat relevant if I tie it to the feels? Yes. Would I have left it in even if I couldn't connect it to the rest of the story? Absolutely. I love my worldbuilding, what can I tell you?

The story is called Imitation Play and the premise is that the main characters have to go undercover as spouses because they kind of failed their mission and now the city they're in is crawling with law-enforcement looking to arrest them. The rest of the story was supposed to play into the "only one bed" trope but they don't even make it to the bed... or to the sex. Actually, the title can also be applied to the smut because magic.

I had this idea in August but it was such a mess that I couldn't bear to look at it and I left it alone. A few days ago I read through it and it turned out that the problem is that I was trying to do too much all at once, as always. Once I fixed that issue, I managed to find my way through my meandering middle section and in three days, I managed to crank out the first draft. It's 4,899 words which is way more than I expected. Not to mention that I will be adding more when I revise it because I am awful at describing bodily sensations, especially on the first try. I also managed to piece together the thematic and now I need to go through all of it to see if there's anything to be added on account of that.

P.S. This has a sequel that is such a non sequitur that I will probably scrap it altogether.

2. What are you planning to work on next?

I'm trying to finish several more prompts that I have left from last year's 200-followers celebration. What I am really dying to work on, though, is a multi-chaptered idea that is only seven chapters so I'm hoping I can get it done (nvm that I abandoned the 4-chapter story I was working on in the beginning of October but that month was such a horrible time for me).

I don't know if I can do this without mentioning names but let me try. So the MC was just rescued from the man she was in love with years ago. She had to betray him because of her conscience and now he's back from his imprisonment and he had her locked in a cell. She was rescued by the woman that she's currently in a relationship with (who also saved her life back when the betrayal happened) and now it's the two of them against her ex. The thing is that she's still not over him and they're caught in their love-hate relationship that's starting to really reflect terribly on everyone else. I want to work on this because the point here is actually that he's trying to convince her that her current girlfriend is only with her because of hatred for him and doesn't actually love her, is only doing it all to spite him (because he's clearly the center of the universe). He's wrong but during this entire process the MC figures out that her girlfriend has intense negative feelings towards her (for very complex reasons) that she's repressing because she's afraid of what those would mean for the love between them. That is sort of exactly what tore the MC and her ex apart, though, and she doesn't want to repeat the experience. I couldn't recap everything because there are way too many thematic connections and magical happenings and feelings to deal with but that's exactly why I am so excited about this. Also, the MC ends up making a horrible choice because of self-loathing and love. She's desperate to give the people she loves (but keeps hurting) the chance to live out their lives in peace if not happiness even if it means dooming the rest of the universe. It has a lot of "love as poison" moments and that is *points to url* right up my alley so... I'm excited!

11. Favorite fictional world?

I have to say the world of Winx Club. It has a really unique blend of fantasy and sci-fi that is super fun and interesting to watch. The visuals and inner workings of everything are also very original and I am especially fond of it because it opened my eyes on the endless possibilities of crafting fantasy while also keeping certain modern day or even futuristic elements that will make the story stand apart from all the medieval-europe-setting fantasy.

21. Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

I want to go with the Company of Light + Valtor (from Winx Club) because I write almost exclusively about them. The thing is that they all have magic, though, so for them to be stranded, that will have to be removed. I was thinking maybe they just can't use it to get away from the island, but no. If Valtor is also there and they have magic, they will try to kill him and vice versa. Now if they don't have magic, that will be interesting because the main problem will probably be a a crisis of self-image for all of them rather than a crisis of survival. They are all very capable even outside their magical abilities and they are all survivors so I'm not worried about that. Most that can happen is Valtor trying to kill them anyway but through sneaky means such as laying traps for them. Griffin knows him and the way he thinks, however, so really the biggest drama here will be the other Company members potentially having to listen to an extensive lecture on the inside workings of Valtor's mind, which they will all hate for different reasons. But the main issue is that he's pretty much their main enemy, who threatened everything they loved, and Griffin was on his side and willing to kill the other Company members with him before she betrayed him because even she was no longer okay with what he was doing. They are all (including Valtor) avoiding the topic of her relationship with Valtor so this will be a fun development for all of them (now I want to write that). But on to the identity crises.

Valtor is literally made of magic so him being unable to do magic will drive him up the wall. Especially since he also has deep derision and resentment for anyone without magic. And on top of that, the people that he hates the most are right there and he has to use archaic means to get rid of them when he could have just used a single spell and been done with it if he had magic. Though, I can imagine him enjoying the sense of hunt that this situation could have.

Marion has the same power source as Valtor but she's not made of it like he is. However, it comes as her birthright along with her crown and it's pretty much the only part of being queen that she is attached to (aside from protecting her people, which she also can't do from the island). So not having access to that power is going to be a big blow to her and also potentially make her question all of her life decisions to devote herself to a lifestyle that she hates.

Griffin is very intrinsically connected to her magic as well. Defending her right to her (dark) magic is what has driven her for most of her life so having to live without it but with the weight of the colossal mistakes that she made in the name of it could just drive her a little bit insane. Oh, and facing Valtor when neither of them have magic and their relationship was heavily based on their connection to magic and to each other through magic is a bunch of panic attacks waiting to happen.

Faragonda has a complicated relationship with her magic. She switched from dark to light magic and that sort of cost her everyone that she loved before (mainly her mother and Griffin, who have issues with light magic users and the oppression of dark magic users). Having to live without it now is like a glimpse of the life she could have had with all its positives (not having to go through all of her pain) and all its negatives (potentially not becoming friends with Griffin and the rest of the Company at all).

The truth is that I haven't really figured out Hagen, Oritel and Saladin's feelings on their magic but in any case, they aren't quite as attached to it as the characters I already listed. Their biggest dramas stem from a different place and so their identity crises would stem more from their loved ones (aka the other Company members) not having their magic.

Marion's power is sort of the reason why they're at war with Valtor and his creators so Oritel (her husband) and Hagen (her best friend) will both get a glimpse of not having to fight that war without her powers.

Oritel will struggle with enjoying any part of her being without her magic because he knows how attached she is to it. But at the same time, they and their child and their people could have had peaceful lives if not for her power so that will cause some tension in his mind and between the two of them. Plus, he has a tendency to equate all dark magic to evil (which isn't true) but then again his stance on Griffin or Valtor won't change now that they don't have magic so I don't think that will be quite as significant as the above problem.

Hagen basically abandoned his whole life just to help Marion and Oritel with the war and he is struggling with defining himself out of his relations to them so things would have been vastly different for him without the war. That means that he also might have not met Faragonda, though, and he has it bad for her so the struggle continues.

And Saladin is... kind of there, as always. I really need to work more to develop him and his role in this group's dynamic.

24. Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

The WIP I talked about in question 1 has a theme of building facades and pretenses to keep yourself safe from your feelings and other people disappointing you. But it also deals with what that demands from a person - how you have to walk a fine line between the pretense and the reality in order to either not give yourself away or not fall into and get consumed by the mask you're putting on. It's about remembering that you're wearing a mask and that you can and have to take it off to connect with yourself again.

#winx club #winx griffin #griffin x valtor #winx valtor #winx faragonda #griffin x faragonda #company of light #my wips #my writing #ask #intothewickedwood

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fragilediary-of-evren · 4 months

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February 4th, 2024 - Leave me alone, I'm busy

────────────────────────────── Woke up at 2 PM I was so close to have breakfast I'm busy!!!!!! ──────────────────────────────

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Yes, I'm busy!!!!! I put the Grammy Awards on TV and I'm trying to draw side profiles!!!!!!!!!!! I knownit looks horrible, I'm not using any reference. This is like... my own take on how a person looks from the side? idk

I'm going insane because Taylor Swift announced her next album????? Releasing in April???????????? I don't even listen to Taylor and I'm extremely excited.

And Lana Del Rey is losing????????? She has like two categories left. I hope she wins at least one of them. PLEASE.

I'm feeling better after doing these things. I didn't start the day well. I slept earlier than usual last night and woke up at about 10 AM. But went to sleep again. When my mother woke me up, I was pissed off. I wasted a good oportunity to do things.

Also, last night I did go to sleep angry because my right arm was so itchy. I hate mosquitoes. So everything went wrong lol. I slept at about 4 AM. Earlier than usual. I'm used to sleeping at 6 AM.

But anyway, now everything's okay. I'll keep draeimg a bit and I might make a full piece when I'm feeling confident enough. I already have an idea in mind. I'm happy about this.

OH, DUNE PART 2 IS RELEASING ON FEBRUARY 29TH. ON CINEMAS. Okay, it's time to watch the first part and go to the city centre and watch the sequel. Yayyyyyyy.

So yeah, this is a happy night. Good things are happening. I'm feeling hopeful.

I hope y'all are having a good night, too.

Rest well!

•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••

#fragile cosmos #fragile posts #not about me #lol #good news #i missed them #a lot #finally tbh #im feeling good

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kouomi · 3 years

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Counting Down To You

Summary: When meeting your soulmate is a matter of life or death, is it possible to beat the clock and find them in time? (F!Reader x Sakusa Kiyoomi)

Warnings: talking about death, some sadness, fluff at end, sad to happy

Word count: 3,010

A/N: sorry for not posting in a while! Pulled this out of my drafts, there might be a lil sequel/separate ending to this later!

Masterlist

Posted: April 27th, 2021, 5:30 PM EST

Everyone had countdowns from the moment they were born. It was a ticking time bomb within every person that would be lethal to not only them, but their soulmate as well when it detonated. The whole system of having a soulmate was a double edged sword; sure, if you managed to escape it you met your soulmate, but the slightest slip up could lead you to a grave.

The timer started when you or your soulmate was made aware of the other, such as hearing their name for the first time or seeing a picture. Everyone’s timer was set at different times, most people having a couple decades while some of the lucky ones have a hundred years, or the unlucky only a few years, months, weeks, or even days. When the timer starts it’s simply your soulmates initial and a date on your wrist, but when it got to the last 7 days, the timer turned into one that looked like a clock, slowly ticking off the seconds until left you had to meet them or die.

The death wasn’t immediate, it was more like a sickness. It wasn’t able to be cured even by meeting your soulmate, for as soon as the timer ran out, so did your chance of survival. Once the last second ran out the timer disappeared and was replaced with your soulmates name as if it would be any help at that point. Three days was all you were given after the timer ran out. Three measly days to say goodbye to everything and everyone you knew.

There were other ways other than seeing someone’s timer to tell if their time was running out. Once it turned from a date to hours the person started to become “sick” their body weaker and more noticeably a cough. It was horrible to watch but an even worse feeling was it happening to you.

When your timer started, you were given exactly a year. It felt like a cruel joke that at the age of fifteen you were only given a year to find your soulmate or die, but the date on your wrist was a constant reminder it was reality. You tried for almost that entire year to find him, to find the one with a matching timer and who matched the initial on your wrist but it was useless. Even if you managed to find them you’d have to kiss them to stop the timer and you couldn’t go around kissing every stranger who’s name happened to start with K. By the last two weeks you’d given up, finally coming to terms with the fact you were going to die and there was nothing you could do about it.

You were in Tokyo for the national volleyball tournament as you were accompanying the team you managed, happy to at least be in a beautiful city for your last few days on earth. A gentle breeze picked up your hair and blew it around your shoulders, a few stray strands waving in front of your face as you stared at the quiet city streets below. It was oddly peaceful, a sense of a calm before the storm blanketing the night and preserving the moment around you.

“Y/n/n?” A familiar voice asks from behind you, “What’re ya doin out here, it’s freezing.”

Turning around you see one of your closest friends, Miya Atsumu walked out on to the balcony where you stood, leaning on the railing. You’d noticed the freezing air nipping at your bare skin but hadn’t paid much mind to it, your mind to focused on other things to care about the cold.

“Waiting.” You answered, returning your gaze to the sky as he walked over to stand next to you.

“Waitin for what?”

You glance at your phone screen, seeing it read 11:59 before moving your arm up so it rested underside up on the metal railing. Just as you did so the date on your wrist disappeared and was replaced with a timer, the seconds slowly ticking away.

“That.” You sigh, taking notice of the way the normally positive atmosphere that followed Atsumu had faded, “167 hours, 59 minutes, and 47 seconds left.”

“Hey, maybe we’ll find them here!” He exclaims, a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes crossing his face, “There’s thousands of people!”

“I can’t go around kissing thousands of random people, Tsu.” You chuckle, pushing off of the railing and walking back to the door, “Come on.”

“I have an idea!” The blonde gasps before rushing inside, making you give him a quizzical look as he frantically looks around the room.

“Why are ya yelling at midnight?” An authoritative voice asks, making Atsumu freeze momentarily before he turns around.

“Kita! Yer name starts with K right?”

“Do I really need to answer that?”

“Atsumu, I know what you’re thinking and no.” You say, watching as his shoulders droop.

“Why not?!”

“Kitas timer hasn’t even started yet.”

“It’s worth a shot! He has the right initials, doesn’t he?”

Both you and the captain blink at him before glancing at each other and shaking your heads.

“They’re backwards.” Kita states, Atsumus face falling at the realization, “Hers say S.K. mine are K.S.”

“Thanks anyway Tsu.” You smile, your hand resting on his shoulder as you walk past him and down the hall, “Don’t worry about it. I still have a week to watch you guys win. Good night.”

The two boys watch you leave, a sad feeling encompassing the room as you disappear down the hallway. The silence hangs in the air as if saying it’s own piece to the drastic weight of the situation, the weight pulling down on the two making their shoulders visibly slump as they continue to stare where you once stood.

“Stop looking at ‘er like she’s already dead.” Kita says, making Atsumu jump. “Yer just gonna make ‘er feel worse.”

Almost as soon as you’d slipped through the door of your room you collapsed on to your bed, an empty feeling filling your chest as you pulled your blanket over your head. Sure, you’d come to terms with the fact you were going to die, but it didn’t stop the horrible feeling that weighed down your heart as it set in that this was your last week. In another week you’d probably be in a hospital bed with all of your friends giving you sad pitiful looks as you slowly withered away, left with nothing other than the name of the soulmate you’d failed to meet in time.

Were they panicking as well? Were they doing everything they possibly could to find you so you could both survive? This was the greatest chance you had to find them seeing as you were in the city and at a large event, but what were the chances of them even being there?

Your worries and questions followed you into your sleep, dried tear tracks staining your face as you fought to get any rest.

Even in your dreams you found yourself on the brink of death, a man standing just out of reach. He was so close, you could feel the fabric of his jacket just barely brush past your fingertips. He was so so close, yet so impossibly far, you found the last slivers of hope you held for finding this stranger in time slipping away just as he began to walk out of your view.

3 hours 26 minutes and 17 seconds

They’d lost. You watched with a hallow expression as the boys dressed in orange and the entire stadium cheered for Karasuno and their victory, while your team was almost frozen in time in disbelief at the final score. After what felt like hours you all walked off the court, silence haunting the group as they all sulked.

“I’m sorry Y/n.”

You turn around and see a few of the boys standing in front of you almost at the brink of tears, their sad gazes only getting worse as they fell upon you.

“Ya said that you’d be watching us win until...” Atsumu continues, his hand clenching into a fist as he trails off, “But we lost. Sorry.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Tsu.” You say, making his expression turn to one of surprise as he and his brother look to you, “Just being able to see you guys play like that was good enough. Especially seeing that quick attack. Man, that was cool!”

They both smile slightly and so do you, walking closer and hugging them both with one arm. You close your eyes for a moment and relish in the hug, imprinting the feeling on your mind as one of your favorite. They squeeze you to themselves though you don’t mind, the three of you standing there for what felt like hours. You wished you could stay there for hours, stand in the arms of the people you considered family. You wanted to stay with them, with the whole team and make more memories, to keep living with them. Your heart ached for the wish as you knew it was an impossible request, knowing this most likely would be the last time you could hug them. If only there was more time, just a few more days. But the timer on your wrist continues to tick, the seconds going by and your time running out.

After a while you finally let go and walked out with the others, the air not as heavy as it previously was though the discord in your head running wild.

0 hours 10 minutes and 43 seconds

“Hey Y/n, are you coming?” Aran asks, standing on the first stair of the bus and looking to you.

You look down at your wrist and read the numbers, feeling a pull at your heart.

“I’m gonna take a walk really quick, can you guys wait a few minutes?” You ask.

He nods, hiding his worry for you behind a slight frown before he climbs into the bus, the doors shutting behind him and the engine starting as the bus waits to leave.

You sigh as you turn around and start walking down the sidewalk, a cough racking your sore body as you did so. Everything hurt and your legs resisted every movement, but you refused to spend these few minutes stuck in the bus.

0 hours 2 minutes and 24 seconds

Finally you came across a bench where you collapsed, a grunt leaving your body as you finally relieve your legs of your weight. Your head was thrown back on the back of the bench and you stared up at the cloudless sky, the stars seeming to laugh as they stared at your disheveled state.

“Could you not sit so close?”

You turn your head to the side and see another person on the bench next to you. With a sigh you scoot over, wincing at the burning sensation in your arms as you do so. The stranger hunches over himself and you hear the all too familiar sound of coughing, their fit lasting almost an entire minute before they straighten themselves out again.

“Are you okay?” You ask, turning your gaze away from the sky to look at them.

“Fine.” He mumbles though another cough gives away his lie, “There’s not enough time for me to care.”

You give a light laugh, a cough of your own stopping it short. “Time’s a bitch, huh?”

“Sure.”

0 hours 0 minutes and 53 seconds

“What’s your name?” You ask after a few seconds of silence.

“... Sakusa. Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

Your heart seems to stop as you hear this, the world around you suddenly coming to a halt as you blink at him.

“You’re joking right?” You ask in disbelief. Surely this was some kind of messed up prank, it wasn’t possible.

“Why would I be joking?” He responds, “Who’re you?”

“Y/n. Y/l/n.”

You see his eyes widen as he turns to face you, his once defeated appearance gaining new life though the exhaustion is still visible in his droopy shoulders and bags under his eyes. Despite the mask covering half of his face you could tell he was attractive, dark brown eyes that bore into yours slightly obscured by long curls. There were two moles on his forehead that were hardly visible in the low light, his intense expression almost forcing you to look away.

0 hours 0 minutes and 32 seconds

“Are you...” He starts, eyes glancing down for a moment, “Your wrist.”

0 hours 0 minutes and 27 seconds

You read the number in your head as you held out a shaky arm for him to see, a small gasp leaving your lips as he holds out his own for you to see a timer in sync with your own and your initials just below it.

0 hours 0 minutes and 20 seconds

“I’m... we’re not gonna die.” You breathe, your eyes moving up and meeting his again, “I know we just met but I don’t think there’s enough time for us to spare.”

He blinks at you, almost too shocked to respond.

0 hours 0 minutes and 16 seconds

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, anxiously waiting for his response.

0 hours 0 minutes and 13 seconds

Sakusa doesn’t say anything, his other hand unsteadily reaching up to pull his mask off.

0 hours 0 minutes and 8 seconds

Almost in slow motion he leans closer to you, his body almost towering over your own as he rests on one of his hands.

0 hours 0 minutes and 5 seconds

You see your breath in the cold air as you tilt your head up to look at him, fighting back the cough in your lungs as everything around you seems to be slowly clicking into place.

0 hours 0 minutes and 3 seconds

You lean closer to him, his breath dancing on your lips. Just before you meet your body seems to give out beneath you, this small slip up seeming as if it’s been waiting to rip away your last few seconds to save your life.

0 hours 0 minutes and 2 seconds

Sakusas other arm shoots out and hooks under your back, holding you up and closer to himself.

0 hours 0 minutes and 1 second

As soon as you were supported in his grasp you leaned up and pressed your lips against his, your eyes fluttering shut as you put all of your hope and fear into this one moment. The kiss is short but it felt as if something you were missing all your life, your body feeling reenergized and the air escaping your lungs as you pull away.

You blink at each other for a moment before you both look at your wrists, joy filling you both when you see the timer stopped at one second. Below it where there was once only two letters is now each other’s names, the sight making butterflies fly through your stomach.

Realizing his arm was still around you, a light blush dusts your cheeks as you suddenly acknowledge how close you were to each other.

“Y/n?” You hear Atsumu yell from down the street, Sakusas arm pulling away from you as he approaches. “We were lookin all over for you, are ya okay?”

“I’m okay.” You smile, “And you don’t need to find a replacement for me just yet.”

“Huh?” He asks, finally noticing the boy next to you, “Oh hey Sakusa, what’re ya doin- wait.”

“Hi.” He says, cringing as Atsumu seems to explode.

“Y/n, you and Sakusa?!” He exclaims, “I can’t believe this!”

“Why are you yelling so much Tsu?” You ask though give him a smile, “Why were you looking for me?”

“Oh yeah, Coach wants to leave.” Atsumu answers, “And ya were gone a while, we got worried.”

“I’ll be there in a second.” You say, nodding for him to leave. He gives a loud “ohh” when he finally understands what you were implying, giving a thumbs up before jogging back the way he came.

“I should probably head back too.” Sakusa says, standing from the bench and stumbling slightly.

“Sakusa?” You ask, standing as well. He turns around, pulling his mask back over his face and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Kiyoomi.” He says in an almost shy tone.

“Kiyoomi.” You repeat, smiling slightly at his name, “Can I get your number?”

“Y/n yer back!” One of the boys yells as you climbed on to the bus, taking one of the free seats.

“Yep.” You grin, all of them giving you a strange look before you hold up your wrist, the once gloomy atmosphere turning joyful as you’re practically tackled out of your seat and into a giant mess of a group hug.

“Yer not gonna die?” Osamu asks in a whisper, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“No, I’m not.” You respond, your arms wrapping around all of them and squeezing. “Now can you all stop crying? You’re gonna make me cry.”

There’s a small series of laughs as you’re somehow held tighter, the tension the last thing on your mind as you close your eyes. What had once felt bittersweet now brought joy to you as you relished in the feeling of being with the people you considered family. Finally, after a year of living your life as if it was your last moments, you were able to stop; to take a moment to breathe. That one kiss had freed you of the chains of a ticking clock and given you the thing you’d only ever dreamed of: more time.

As you all were forced to pull away by your coaches telling you to get in your seats your mind wandered to the boy who’d made this possible. Sakusa Kiyoomi, though he was still a stranger to you, had made a spot for himself in your thoughts as well as bringing butterflies through your stomach. Maybe with the extra time he’d given you, you could spend it with him.

Kiyoomi. You thought, thanks for being my soulmate.

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lilmissbacon · 4 years

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Why Jelsa is Ridiculously Stupid

Let me start off by saying that the idea of this ship was cute at first, I have nothing against it. In fact I have a few ships myself that have nothing to back them up. I am not making this to convince people to be anti, stop the ship itself, or spread any form of hate what so ever.

But this Jelsa fandom has gone too far. And when I say "jelsa shippers," of course I don't mean ALL of them, just about 80% of them.

In fact, I'm very appreciative of the few jelsa shippers who don't go around harassing others because "jelsa is life."

Also, allow me to correct you in saying that I'm not a jelsa hater, I'm a jelsa loather. There's a difference. Most jelsa haters, hate jelsa for the sake of hating it.

I genuinely hate it.

And don't go commenting about, "how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" Because you see, that's where you're wrong. I did used to ship it, when I was 11. I was a child, I was new to the internet, I didn't know better. But I do now!

I am writing this so that some who may not know, will now understand why jelsa is bad and because I need to get all of this out of my system. I am slowly dieing inside.

First; I'm gonna go into how all the excuses to ship this are pointless. Next, I'll talk about just how these two would never work out as a couple. Then, will be what the toxicity has done to not just to the ship itself, but to the big four as well. And finally, I'll go into how uncreative the shippers are and just what horrible/stupid things they've done and are still doing.

1) Excuses are Pointless

Excuse #1: They have the same powers.

...Yeah, that's like saying you ship Lavagirl (Sharboy and Lavagirl) and Bolin (LoK) because they can both control lava. That's not a valid reason to ship anyone. There needs to be actual substance and I'll only say that once because that sentence applies to every excuse here.

Excuse #2: They look alike

🤦🤦🤦 First of all: that's also like saying you ship Tiana (Princess and the Frog) and Frozone (The Incredibles) because they're both black. Second of all: no they don't. It may be because I'm an artist so I notice small details, but here's how it is; Jack's hair is white, Elsa's is platinum blonde. Jack has a square chin, Elsa has a round face. Jack is much paler! THEIR EYES AREN'T EVEN THE SAME SHADE OF BLUE!!! Your excuse is null and void. Even so, if characters do look alike, then they're most likely to be related. Especially in animation.

Excuse #3: Jack can teach Elsa to have fun and Elsa can teach Jack to be serious

This clearly proves the point that jelsa shippers don't know these characters. The job of teaching Elsa how to be social and have fun is already taken by Anna. So if anything, Elsa will see Jack as a younger brother. And Jack wouldn't have been chosen to take on such a responsibility of guardianship if he didn't know when to quit. I don't know what it is about playful characters that make people think they're obnoxious. Jack is an immortal teenager with the heart of a child, that's what makes him a good guardian. But he's been alive for over 300 years, he bound to have the mind capacity of an adult and he does know better. He doesn't play when he's in battle, he's dead serious.

Excuse #4: They understand each other because they were both isolated for a long time

I don't know where you come from but people don't really "bond" over their trauma. Infact, if anything, that would make the relationship more unstable. Plus, Elsa isolated herself for 13 years because she was afraid of her powers. Jack was forced into isolation for 300 years! He has never been afraid of his powers and Elsa could still be seen throughout the day by parents and servants. They would never be able understand what the other went through.

Excuse #5: They both have a sister they love

SO WHAT?! At least half of the population have sisters. Simple as that. It's a horrible excuse.

Excuse #6: They both have an enemy in fear

Bruh, almost every fictional character has to deal with their fears, literal or mental. It's not at all unique to these two.

Excuse #7: Jack can teach Elsa to control her powers

She already has control of them by the end of the movie. And even if you mean prier to that, the reason she couldn't control them was because she feared them. I doubt that even if she could see him and if he showed her his powers, she's be irrational, believing that their powers were different.

Excuse #8: William Joyce says he ships it

Really, you're going to base the possibility of a ship because the writer of the 'books' that "inspired" rotg says he likes it. First: the books and movie are not the same worlds. Two: he most likely stated this in order for jelsa shippers to shut up to him about it. And three: his own canon with the books is a mess as it is. With him adding a bunch on random/unnecessary details on twitter that have no relevance or reference in the books. Even if he does ship it, everything that's going on with Jack's character in the books is weird enough as it is. Plus he's physically 14 in the books. I know age doesn't really matter but Elsa would definitely feel weird about dating someone who looks so young when she's currently 24 by the second movie.

Excuse #9: They could've met before the events of rotg

Not a reason to ship them but whatever 🙄 Even if their stories were based in the same world (which it isn't), Elsa never would've believed in fairy tales. Having to grow up so soon and all. She believes in magic, of course, but you need to believe in the individuals themselves in order to see them. Plus it is very clear in rotg that Jamie is Jack's first believer.

Excuse #10: Now that Frozen 2 is out, they are both spirits who followed the memories of their loved ones. They can live forever together!

Once AGAIN, how does this factor to them being a good couple? Plus the title of spirit is different in the Frozen-verse than the Guardian-verse. Guardian-verse; they are un-aging beings who keep the entire world in balance. Frozen-verse; never confirmed to be immortal (especially since 3 out of 5 spirits are inanimate objects), magical things that keep a single forest secure. The only reason the elements needed a fifth spirit was most likely because the one before Elsa died of old age. Plus the idea of Elsa outliving Anna goes against the theme of sisterly love that both movies strive on. This can be changed in fanfiction but I hate how people lie about her mortality for an excuse to ship.

Excuse #11: They're both single

So what? People ship characters who aren't single with other characters all the time. That's not a reason to ship them. Especially since your statement is false because Tooth is Jack's canon love interest.

It is true that jelsa haters will give reasons to not ship that I necessarily don't agree with.

•Like the age gap — Jack has the mental capacity of an adult, as I've said before. He's smart enough to make his own choices.

•Elsa not being immortal — that doesn't mean they can't still date, even if he outlives her. Plus you can change that in fanfiction.

•They come from different studios and will never be canon — Again, this is fanfiction, we can do whatever we want.

•Elsa is independent and shipping her with someone takes her independence away — for one: most of the world is bound to find love at some point in time. I would imagine that Elsa would want to find love like her sister. Two: Mulan, Pocahontas and Jasmine are very independent and they all still ended up with men. Three: she's not that independent to begin with. Independence isn't relationship status, it's your ability to make it on your own and Elsa is clearly, very dependant on Anna and her safety. Which is actually what pushes her to being a bad sister in Frozen 2. In fact it is because they made her more 'independant' in the sequel that Elsa clearly, no longer loves Anna as much as Anna loves her (you can check out Watso Videos' video on YouTube about how Elsa is a bad sister bc I'm not gonna go into it here).

My god that was ALL just part one. This is gonna take forever 😰

2) How they would never work out

For Elsa, she needs someone who is calm and collected. A rock for her to stand on when she's being irrational. Possibly even someone who is very stoic and straight to the point but with enough sense of humor to lighten the mood. And now that I'm thinking about it, Honeymaren fits that description to a tee. I'm not one to push LGBT+ in anyone's face, but I'm not gonna judge ships on characters assumed sexualities either. Even though Honeymaren didn't have much screen time, her personality still showed through and Elsamaren could very well work.

Jack on the other hand needs someone who would be able to keep up with his playful nature as well as be a rock for him to stand on when he's emotional. Tooth is a good suitor even though I don't really ship it myself. Hiccup, Merida and Rapunzel could also fit in this description.

They don't have the ability to be each other's rocks. They can't be stable if they both need someone to keep them so. If they were to date, the relationship would crumble before it even began.

Plus Jack has to be a guardian and there are a lot of fanfics that go into this idea of Jack being the king of Arendalle? First off: I'm fairly certain that you can't marry into royalty to become king. At least in the real world. Second: Jack wouldn't be able to handle that responsibility with him already being a guardian. And he can't just leave guardianship either, it was what he always was and was ment to be. And Elsa has the responsibility of keeping a magical forest in check, she can't leave to become a guardian.

3) The Toxicity

Oh my God! The fanfiction! As I usually say, you can do whatever you want in fanfiction. But if you have to butcher all the characters so much in EVERY fanfic in order to make the ship work, then there's clearly something wrong here! In every fanfic I've ever seen, the characters are so out of character it's insane. Not just Jack and Elsa, every character.

Olaf for example, is practically in love with Jack first meeting, in every fanfic. If he were to actually meet Jack, he would be apprehensive of him.

It's horrifying in not only that, but jelsa shippers will add Rapunzel a lot, just in spite of Jackunzel. They turn Rapunzel into a needy ex-girlfriend of Jack's when in reality, she's a very sweet and kind soul. Even if she and Jack had dated, they would've split on good terms and stayed friends after. There have also been cases where they do the same but with Tooth. Sometimes even both and it's honestly sick.

And let's talk about the sexism as well HAHA! I swear to God, they will rewrite Frozen but where Jack will save Elsa instead of Anna. They write Elsa as a hormonal teenage girl who falls in love with Jack within seconds.

This is from an actual jelsa shipper, my dude. WTF!!! They make Jack super dominant as well as a douche who cheats on Elsa half the time. Jack is not that dominant, he's a very emotional guy. And he'd be the most faithful boyfriend on the planet. He was alone for 300 years! If anything, he'd be clingy but not too clingy because he also understands personal space.

And if you like angsty fanfiction where a character cheats on the other, there are literally no fanfics where Elsa cheats on Jack. As if a woman couldn't possibly cheat. This is very sexist towards men and women and is toxic as hell.

If anything, Elsa would cheat on Jack, she's not exactly trustworthy in keeping promises or being loyal.

I swear, half of the jelsa shippers has never even seen rotg and just go by what they read in others fanfiction.

Jelsa shippers have gotten so bad about this ship that they've low-key harassed people for not shipping it, as well as start shipping wars within the big four fandom. That's the reason the fandom truly shrunk after 2013. I've seen posts about people admitting to leaving the fandom because it got so bad.

4) The Shippers

Jelsa shippers have literally threatened lives, not just to other fans but even to the creators of the movies. Literally threatening them into making the ship canon. They've made patitions to make it canon as if that would work. They've even harassed a lot of recent shippers to Elsamaren because "jelsa is canon."

Oh look at that, they're homophobic too...

...

... That's great 🙃

Isn't it a bigger sin to love a celestial being though? Therefore the fact that you –as a toxic christian– ship Elsa with a spirit it worse.

THEY'RE DELUSIONAL!!! So many of them have shipped jelsa so long that legit think it's canon!

Not only all that mess but there are literally more jelsa games on the internet then there are Merida games. I'm specifying this for personal reasons (aka Merida is my fave Disney princess)

And let's continue on with what really aggravates me as an artist. Jelsa shippers, stealing artwork, mostly from Jackunzel. This is not just a rumor, it's very much real.

And it doesn't help when all of their actual original fanart is just them taking scenes from Frozen and adding Jack. Then to add more salt on the wound is that almost all the fanfiction is the same, whether it'd be based during Frozen, rotg or in a highschool au.

There's literally nothing original about or going on with this ship, even after Frozen 2 came out, the shippers and fanfiction haven't changed. If anything it made the shippers spike up again.

The only thing that could say is original about jelsa is the frost daughter fanon. Oh boy! What we have to unpack here.

This is something that I recently heard about...

...

I am mortified.

Frost daughters is this little thing that jelsa shippers came up with, believing Jack and Elsa (if they could get pregnant) would have nothing but girls. What's scary about it is they're designs. Like they're trying to be original... But it's not really going great.

Most of them are just young!Elsa copies, some are edits of Elsa with Jack's hair color.

For example:

This is fine, this follows genetrical rules. I'm fine with this.

But what has me low-key petrified are some of the other designs.

Like... WTF IS ALL OF THIS!!! Where are this colors coming from?!! I don't understand 😭 You can see in the screen shots that these are literally titled as daughters of jelsa.

The white haired ones are fine. The ginger is understandable. Got it from Elsa's dad's genes. That's okay. A few are wearing pink? They can wear what ever they want. But wtf I'd going on with Nevada? Why is she black? Jack and Elsa the pastiest of white! And you cannot tell me that she got it from Elsa's mom because this was made BEFORE Frozen 2 and her mother is still white as an adult.

Where tf does the blue and pink hair come from? None of these make sense!

I want to kill myself, just looking at these!

That's gonna be the end of this rant

Now I'll say it again, I really have nothing against the ship itself. I too have casual ships that make no sense. But with ALL the fanfiction and fanart being so unoriginal and most jelsa shippers low-key being dangerous, it's hard for me respect people's opinions about it.

I try, trust me, I do! But it's become so murky in my brain that I can't tell the difference anymore and I'm also just not a fan of Elsa's character in general. And I like ships that actually make sense.

And being that I'm an equalist... it's really hard for me to look at this stuff and not get pissed off. I'm sorry if all of this comes off as aggressive because it kinda is.

I'm just very passionate, okay?

I hope you understand where I'm coming from. None of the pictures I used are mine. And I hope you have a good day?

#anti jelsa #antijelsa #jack frost #anti elsa #DreamWorks #disney #ships #hate jelsa #the big five

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azems-familiar · 2 years

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get to know the blogger

i was tagged for this by @starknstarwars, thank you very much! i am tagging @ipreferfiction @tarrevizsla @darthsassacre @glitter-cronch @reliable-apprentice and anyone else who wants to join!

1) why did you choose your url?

so i've been through a few different urls in the past, but i ended up settling on this one when i switched over to primarily kotor stuff. the canon "revanchist" url is held by an empty blog, so i took the next best available thing. (my previous url was skywalking-across-the-galaxy and it was chosen exclusively for the pun.)

2) any sideblogs?

i made one as a joke to make in-character sith years revan, malak, and jedi exile in universe social media posts with a couple friends about a year ago. i don't actually do anything with it but it Exists.

3) how long have you been on tumblr?

since early 2016, i think my blog's anniversary is in april? oh god that was a lot longer ago than i want to think about.

4) why did you originally start your blog?

because i had just gotten into the doctor who fandom and i wanted to reach a wider audience with fanfiction. i was 16/17 and brand new to fandom as a group experience and ended up on tumblr after discovering that ao3 existed.

5) why did you choose your icon?

my icon and header change from time to time, when i feel like changing things up a bit, but for quite a while now my icon has been this absolutely stunning portrait of my Revan done by my beloved @stellorc, who is a dear friend and an incredible artist. it is the best piece of art i currently have of my Revan and since she's the main character i focus on and write about these days, i figured she should be the centerpiece! also i just love looking at that art.

6) why did you choose your header?

my header is a color-changed gif from the kotor remake teaser trailer done by @tarrevizsla, with a quote that someone stuck on an edit of the early kotor comics to describe Revan going against the Council to join the war, which has always stuck with me as very appropriate. I Just Think It's Neat and also symbolism.

7) what is your post with the most notes?

uhhhh that's hard for me to tell because my blog is old. a tcw art i commissioned in 2018 is pretty big. a few chat posts i made during my sequels era. the HK-47 locket shitpost i made has just over a thousand and is definitely my largest-note kotor/swtor related post!

8) how many mutuals do you have?

unknown and i'm not going through to count all of them. quite a few. my entire discord server (or the people who talk actively at least). hello beloved tor hell friends. (pspspspsps come join tor hell)

9) how many followers do you have?

2014, somehow. not many of them interact with me. a lot are from my doctor who or tcw days.

10) how many blogs do you follow?

2285. i should probably go through and prune that there are a lot of people i don't even know who they are anymore lol.

11) have you ever made a shitpost?

more times than i'd like to admit to, yes. my most popular recent one is definitely this gif:

12) how many times do you use tumblr a day?

let's just say i'm terminally online.

13) have you ever fought another blog?

yeah. i'm proship and have been known to ship some "problematic" things back in the day. i haven't been as badly involved in discourse but yknow how things go. also i will go to war to defend my friends.

14) how do you feel about "need to reblog" posts?

fuck those. if you say i MUST reblog something i am immediately going to Not Do That just out of spite.

15) do you like tag games?

absolutely, just sometimes i'm slow to respond.

16) do you like ask games?

yes! i love interaction! i crave it! however sometimes i can be bad at responding and then i feel horribly guilty whoops

17) which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

none who are tumblr famous but i am mutuals with @renesassing my beloved, who is a pretty damn popular artist, so there's that

18) do you have a crush on a mutual?

not particularly no. i mean one of my mutuals (i'm sure no one can guess which one) is my platonic partner and best friend but like. that's it lol

#things i'm tagged in #this was fun!! i love talking

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cakejots · 3 years

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this is us trying, Chapter 3 - The Decision

In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit. And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other. But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.

Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021

notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10

Read on AO3

8. Admiration

Ladybug shifted from her spot at the top of Notre Dame’s North Tower, awaiting Chat’s arrival. The time it took to get in contact with him again wasn’t very long, but it was longer than the intervals between their dates. She understood that he has his own life to live, and sometimes, their schedules just really couldn’t match up. But for this time, in particular, she couldn’t help but feel that he was avoiding her.

Was it really a coincidence that he got especially busy right after he left her alone on that rooftop? She didn’t know.

Even though Ladybug had arrived 15 minutes earlier, she had that irrational fear that he wouldn’t turn up. She knew Chat wasn't like that, he always keeps his word. But she couldn’t help it, the possibility that their relationship could take a turn for the worse frightened her.

Luckily, before her thoughts could spiral out of control, Chat landed a few metres away from her.

Relief flooded her chest as Chat slowly stood from his crouched position. She was about to run over and throw her arms around him when his words stopped her.

“I’m really sorry for what I’ve done that day.” Chat wasn’t at his full height, his body posture was humbled and he was rubbing his hands.

“What I did was horrible, and I’ve no excuse for the way I treated you that day.” He had his head lowered and his eyes glimpsed at her ever so often, to see if she was listening to him. “I understand if you want to walk away, I just hope you’ll forgive me.”

Her eyes harden, posture standing even taller than before. Ladybug eyed him. This was the second time he had talked about her leaving him.

“I’m not going to walk away, Chat.” Her eyes softened as he flinched from her sudden rush of words. “But I’ll be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. I just want to know why it happened.”

Tears filled his green eyes as he fixed them on hers. His face held a sombre expression, as though it physically hurt him to be saying those next words.

“My lady,” he pleaded with a voice thick of desperation. “Forgive me, I promise I’ll tell you one day. Just… I can’t— not now…”

Ladybug sighed.

“Please know that,” he quickly rushed to her and embraced her tightly. “I didn’t regret giving you that kiss! Never.”

Ladybug raised her arms and tightened her grip on him as he trembled.

“Thank you for your assurance, Chaton.” She pulled back and surveyed his face. “I’m aware that this is a bit insensitive, but could you wait here for 5 minutes? I’m just going to get some stuff.”

Chat grew uneasy. To be alone on a cool night? He was reasonably unsettled, especially after what had confronted him just moments ago. Ladybug said she wouldn’t walk away, but now she’s asking him to stay here? How could he not be worried?

“Just 5 minutes,” her fingers grazed his face. “I promise you’ll enjoy our date even more after I bring those things here.”

He should trust her. He knows he could trust her. After all, she had said she wouldn't leave. It happened once, it can happen again.

“We can call each other while I’m—“

“It’s okay, my lady.” He pulled back and smiled. “I’ll see you in 5 minutes.”

Ladybug wasn’t convinced that he’s okay, but she gave him a peck on the cheek to ease his doubts. “I’ll be back before you know it!”

And true to her words, she came back in 3 minutes, with two pillows, a thick blanket, and a laptop in her arms.

Chat eyed them quizzingly.

“We, are going to get comfortable and watch montages of ourselves!” She sat beside him, the Ladyblog web page now visible on her screen. “Looking at how awesome we were would give us that extra endorphins boost, don't you think?”

“We are still awesome now, what are you saying?” He wrapped the blanket around them.

She giggled. “We should do some parkour sometimes.”

Bundled up in blankets with their limbs tangled, they sat there watching the best moments they had while battling Akumas, fondness for themselves and for the other clear on their faces.

Ladybug has always been like this, trying to solve whatever issues that arise. It’s how they’ve won battle after battle. Even after the threat is gone, she’s still trying to salvage the situation, no matter how small it is in the grand scheme of things.

Chat was immensely grateful for what she had done tonight. The videos had really calmed his nerves and brought back all those euphoric memories he once had. The reason why he was doing this in the first place. The joy his lady had brought to him whenever he spent time with her. The love and admiration he felt for her as she stood up against Hawkmoth on their first day as superheroes, despite Ladybug believing that she wasn’t suited for her calling.

The love…

He tightened his hold around her.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just mesmerised by how cool we are.”

How could he have forgotten? How miraculously amazing she was. No. She still is, up till this very day. Even after 6 years. Even after he denied her what she wanted most following Shadowmoth’s defeat. Even after what he’s done to their relationship. She never walked away from him, and is still trying to rectify the situation.

He wasn’t making it easy for her, even though it should’ve been after the final battle. It’s really unfair to her.

And yet, she’s still here, she still chose to stick with him.

This can’t go on.

He took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

9. Cinema

“Come on, come on, come on, we’re gonna be late!” Chat hurriedly pushed her into the cinema, worried that they wouldn't make it to showtime.

“Wasn’t that 5-hour binge-watch enough?” Ladybug was obviously excited about the movie, but she couldn’t allow him the satisfaction so easily.

“Of course not! This is the sequel to the series!” He continued pushing as if there’s nothing entirely wrong with his behaviour.

“And we’re heading to a cinema now. Didn’t you say you wanted us to be as discreet as possible?” She raised her eyebrow despite Chat not being able to see her face.

“Yeah, but it’s the premiere today! We won’t be able to watch it on the laptop.” They stopped at the cinema hall entrance and Chat scanned his ticket for the seat number before he continued pushing. “Also, watching in a cinema after hours of watching from a smaller screen is just a different experience, no?”

They finally arrived at the row where their seats were, but he continued resting his hands on her shoulder, guiding her to her seat before finally letting her go. “Besides, Parisians won’t kick us out after the ‘patrol’ stun we pulled.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean we did do our job when something happened.”

Although animated films are popular in France, this particular one didn’t attract as many audiences as those action-packed animated films, which was a blessing and a curse because they would be able to get away with minimal attention on them, but also so many people are missing out on this greatness.

“Anyway, do you think we’ll cry again?” She rubbed her tear-stained eyes, “I don’t think I’ve any liquid left in me for that.”

“Nonsense, there’s definitely more in you,” he cupped her cheeks to have a better look at her. “And you still look so pretty even after all that crying.”

“Oh, quite the sadist, aren’t you? Does my crying bring you joy?”

“Come on, Buguinette, you can’t deny it was phenomenal.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It is phenomenal. But couldn’t we spread it out even more? The watch time on that series I mean.”

“I… I won’t have time for the rest of the week,” his smile fell as his hands caressed her cheeks. “I’m really sorry.”

“No wonder you wanted to spend the whole day today,” she teased. “Well, no worries about it! I love spending time with you.”

He moved his hand to hers and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you, my lady.”

And that’s when the lights started dimming. They relaxed into their respective seats, but not without interlacing their hands together.

The movie, of course, had delivered what the series had set out to do. The cinema was filled with sniffles and sobs and Ladybug and Chat Noir were certainly not spared from the experience. They were tearing like they had been all afternoon, the only difference was that they weren’t able to hold the other as tightly as they would’ve liked due to the armrest in between them.

And they didn’t realise the importance of tissues until that night. They had to go to the toilet to clean their face and clear their noses before continuing with other plans they had had for the night.

10. Moonlight

As they left the establishment, they were surprised to see how the gleaming of the silver orb that hung in the sky rivalled that of The City of Light.

Chat proposed spending the rest of the night at the top of the Eiffel Tower, given that it has been a while since they were there. And immediately regretted that suggestion when he remembered that their last memories of the Eiffel Tower were of him expressing his wishes to hold off the reveal right after the final battle.

But Ladybug eagerly agreed and was already well on her way. He had no choice but to follow through.

When he arrived, he was awestruck by the moon. He has—

“—never seen the moon this big! Wow!” Ladybug proclaimed as she took in the moon in all its beauty.

She was captivated by the glamour of the moon, but to Chat, it seemed as though she was basking in the moonlight. Her suit gave off a shimmering red glow not often seen and her dark hair looked midnight blue under it. Her back was towards him, but as she turned around to move towards the spot next to him, he felt his own heartbeat quickened. The brilliance of her blue orbs awed him, they were of a pigment he had never seen before in her eyes.

“Wow indeed.”

They moved to sit side by side on the edge and took in the view of the moon and of the city. Did they really enjoy this view of the city weekly before? Has it always been this beautiful?

“You know,” Ladybug started, breaking the silence. “I’m really glad he chose what he did in the end.”

“Yeah, they finally got together.”

She peered upwards. “It wasn’t an easy journey, but I’m so satisfied with that ending. I’m sure everyone was crying tears of joy too.”

That animated series as a whole was about conveying your feelings to the ones you love. Which he did, a lot. He was never one to shy away from declaring his love for her. But why did everything change after the final battle? Why did he change after the final battle?

His heart must’ve been tired of what his brain was trying to reason about, and thus led him to pick this series to watch, and eventually the movie. All the answers were there.

He knew his lady well enough and was certain that she wouldn't walk away. She has proved that time and time again.

So what was preventing him from being with her, when he very much desired to have a happy ending with her as well?

In some ways, his current predicament was similar to Gilbert’s. He was afraid. He was afraid that she’ll abandon him after she found out who he really was, and what he’s done.

But…

Chat looked over to see Ladybug moonbathing and enjoying the light breeze. Was it too much to hope for a happy ending himself? He knew damn well how Violet felt throughout the whole ordeal of trying to get Gilbert back by her side. Did he really want his lady to end up that way eventually, when he had the ability to prevent that?

No. That’s too brutal. The world was already cruel to him. But if he could prevent that cruelty and enable her to witness how beautiful life can be, how pleasant she had made life for him, he’d do it.

“Chaton?”

Those eyes that looked at him as though he hung the stars in her sky. Those wide blue eyes that never gave up on him despite his failure to give her what she wanted most. Those worried, concerned eyes, so full of love.

He was choked up with emotions.

“I love you.”

Ladybug inhaled sharply and stared at him unblinking, unsure if she misheard those words.

She reached out to him slowly. “Can… Can you say that again?”

“I love you.” He took her hand and squeezed it, leaning in to press his warm lips against her cheek.

He pulled back to see tears in the corner of her eyes.

“My lady?”

She still stared at him as her tears started to trickle down her face.

His hands flew to her face. “My—”

Ladybug threw her arms around him with such vitality that they toppled over. “I love you too!”

He pulled her in to close any gaps between them, so very glad that she still felt the same despite all that has happened. She planted a heartwarming kiss on his cheek as Chat landed on his back.

They basked in each other’s warmth and presence. He stroked her hair and she melted into him, happy tears flowing as her kitty was starting to declare his love for her again, verbally.

“My lady, can we meet up again tomorrow?”

“I thought you said you were busy?” She giggled.

“I did,” he grinned. “But who said anything about meeting during the hours of the day?”

#ladynoirjuly2021 #ladynoirjuly #ladynoir #mesfics #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #mlb fanfic #ladybug #chat noir #alternate universe #light angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #this is us trying

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adamwatchesmovies · 3 years

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The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect. I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.

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3pirouette · 3 years

Text

Fic: An Experimental Design (9/10)

Title: An Experimental Design

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3

Story Summary: Sequel to “What Number?”, also prompted from Steggy Bingo Bash Prompts. Takes place about a week after that fic.

Chapter Summary: Howard figures out what’s going on with Steve and comes up with a short-term solution

Chapter 9: The Lion

Howard looked back and forth between them, eyes shifting quickly. He was still disheveled from rushing over in the dead of night. He wasn’t used to being woken up at 2 AM by his friend in a panic, and it had unnerved him.

What he was met with was not the sight he expected.

The nervous, upset Steve he’d talked to on the phone was slowly transforming in front of his eyes. The anxious man he’d met at the door was now staring him down from the couch across from him, careful to never let Howard all that close to Peggy.

Peggy, hastily dressed as well, her hair falling in a disarray Howard wasn’t used to seeing, sat next to him, unable to stop fidgeting.

Steve eyed Howard, and rumbled low in his chest.

“Did you…” he did a double take, turning to Peggy. “Did he just growl?” Howard’s voice squeaked and he leaned back in his chair, eyes wide.

Peggy pressed her hand on Steve’s shoulder, and even though it wasn’t skin to skin contact, it seemed to calm him. “Can you see why we have a problem?”

Howard nodded, eyes still wide. “How long’s he been like this?”

Peggy shook her head. “Since before this morning. It’s—”

“No,” Steve interrupted. He squinted his eyes shut, running his hands over his face and shaking his head. When he opened his eyes again it was like the fog had lifted a little, like he’d managed to fight it off. “I was fine this morning. I felt great actually. Better than I had since this whole thing started, really.”

Peggy looked at him, surprised. “Why didn’t you say? I thought you weren’t feeling anything?”

He shrugged, bashful, but then an intensity took over that seemed somewhat out of place as he reached for her cheek. “How could I say I was feeling great when you felt horrible?”

Howard tried to catalogue Steve’s rampant mood swings as he attempted to put together what in the hell was happening. “You didn’t feel good, Peg?”

She took Steve’s hand from her cheek and held it in both of her own in her lap. “No. I felt awful. Headache, vomiting, tired...” She chuckled mirthlessly, “Basically everything you’d thought I’d feel.” Peggy leaned on Steve’s arm, hiding a yawn before turning back to Howard. “I managed a nap and felt a little better, but by the time Steve woke up he was already not quite himself.”

Howard let out a heavy breath, fingers pulling at his moustache as he looked back and forth between the two of them.

Steve couldn’t take the man’s prolonged silence. “What?”

“I’m trying to decide who I’d rather take a punch from…”

Peggy crossed her arms and set her shoulders, admonishment clear in her voice. “Howard…”

“You took a nap, right, Steve?” Steve nodded, eyes still alternately clearing and fogging over as he tried to stay focused. “Well, when you sleep your body heals faster. I’d guess that your body actually cleared all of the hormones we gave you while you were asleep. We’d have to test to be sure but…”

Peggy started carefully, “Then why is he acting like a possessive neanderthal? Shouldn’t he be back to just his current normal, slightly possessive, lust crazed state?”

Howard winced, waiting as long as he could before he let the suspicion tumble from his lips. “Well… I think you smell, Peg.”

“Excuse me?” Peggy demanded angrily. She and Steve both sat taller and Howard flinched back, fully expected one of them to swing at him.

He slowly leaned forward once he was reasonably sure he was safe from any stray punches, his explanation sounding almost like an apology. “The hormones we gave you, very specifically for a woman, mimic pregnancy. You’re probably giving off huge amounts of very specific pheromones right now and he’s…” Howard’s hands flailed in the air, trying to get them to the same conclusion he’d come to without saying it explicitly.

Steve’s head dropped into his hands, his fingers scrubbing over his scalp. “Howard…” he lamented, frustrated and tired.

Peggy let her hand scrub over his back, looking over at Howard with daggers in her eyes. “What in the world would make you think doing that would be a good idea?”

Howard shook his head, frustrated himself. “Believe me, we didn’t think this would happen, Steve strutting around like a lion protecting his mate. We thought he’d get at least a day, if not a few, out of it, and if your hormones stabilized, his would follow.”

Steve looked up, eyebrows knit tight. “But pregnant, Howard?”

Howard shrugged. “Worked for Peggy, didn’t it?”

Steve just let his head fall back to his hands. “So, what do we do?” he mumbled, head still hung low. “I can’t follow her around like some overprotective jerk forever.”

Howard cleared his throat, the tightness in his jaw a clear signal he really didn’t have an exact answer. He stuttered and flailed his hands for a moment in a few false starts before sighing and shrugging. “We can’t separate you- you already took out a wall and that was before you were growling at me.” Howard looked at Peggy, eyebrows raised high. “Can you suffer him like this?”

Howard might not have seen it, but Peggy saw Steve’s wince. She let her hand run gently over his back. “I’m sure you know by now we’re both all in for whatever is coming next.”

Howard nodded. “I’ll get a nurse over here to get some blood samples and then I’ll reach out to my guy. But…” he shook his head and stood, moving over to the phone. “Best case scenario right now is we try to even your hormones out and hope Steve doesn’t take down a zebra, or the milkman, until that happens.”

~*~

By sunrise, the nurse had come and gone and Howard had already been back, poking Peggy with what he assured her was at least a temporary fix. He hadn’t even offered to try to give Steve any, saying that his body cleared it too quickly for it to be any kind of answer right now.

Curled up in the corner of the couch, she was at least grateful that she wasn’t sick to her stomach anymore. Her mug was long since empty, but she still turned it in her hands, letting her nails tap along the ceramic as she waited for Steve to emerge from the bathroom. After Howard left, he’d mumbled something about taking a shower and had disappeared. The shower had been shut off for ages, and she hadn’t heard any of his normal knocking about in long, quiet minutes.

She should get up, make something to eat, but she didn’t feel like it. She couldn’t feel much, in fact. She felt a little hollow, unmotivated, and still so very, very tired.

Steve opened the door to the bathroom, looked at her, and moved past to the bedroom, holding the towel around his waist tight, his eyes avoiding her.

She could feel his pain. Whatever was between them was doing that. It allowed then just a sense, but even the smallest sense was enough. He was hurt, and embarrassed, and sad. He felt like he’d failed her, and it made her chest tighten. She didn’t know how to soothe him, because she wouldn’t be treated like his toy or his conquest or whatever else his Neanderthal brain had decided she was. But she didn’t like to see him hurt, and his pain made her own sense of listlessness worse.

She tapped her nails on the mug again, eyes unfocused on the floor as she heard him moving around, getting dressed. She heard the mattress creek under his weight and then nothing but the occasional soft breath.

She didn’t recall making a conscious decision to go to the bedroom, but more like she felt the need, a pull from deep in her gut.

Peggy wanted to know what was her and what was this damned serum, but she’d spent far too much time trying to separate the feelings and found it didn’t much matter anymore what motivated her.

What mattered was when she stepped into the bedroom and found Steve sitting on the side of the bed, his head in his hands and his eyes red rimmed, he didn’t push her away when she lifted his chin and he hugged her close when she sat in his lap. When she pulled him down to the bed, he silently followed her lead, stripping them down to nothing and cocooning them in the bedsheets, every inch of skin touching and their heartbeats slowing and syncing as they both fell asleep, a sense of peace blooming deep in her stomach, even with so much still left to work out.

~*~

Dugan kicked his feet up on the bench in Stark’s lab. The scientist stared at the soldier, but he just smiled back. “You’re here… why?” Stark asked, trying to go back to his notes.

“I’m here because we need another avenue.” Dugan twirled his moustache, staring at the man’s back. “Phillips is on my back, I can’t go any faster than those translators can go, most of what they get us has been bullshit anyway, and we’re running out of ideas.”

Howard shot him a dirty look and pushed his notebook to the side. “What makes you think I have any better ideas?”

“Well, for one,” Dugan kicked his feet to the floor and put his elbows on his knees, “You’re the smartest guy on this base. And for two, we need Steve back if we want any hope in hell of getting ahead of Hydra.”

Howard shot the man one of his best fake smiles, “While flattery would normally get you everywhere,” he dropped the pretense and tossed his notebook at Dugan and the soldier fumbled the catch, “I don’t have anything. I have a hell of a lot of data that tells me almost absolutely nothing. I can’t fix it. I can’t change it without making Steve go Berserk or Peggy have so much pain she should be dead.” Howard slumped in his chair. “If you got any ideas, I’m open to ‘em.”

Dugan flipped through the notebook, knowing none of it would make sense to him. He looked back up at Stark. “You really don’t have another plan?”

“Aside from handcuffing the two of them together?”

Dugan smiled. “Not the worst plan I’d ever heard.”

Howard was quiet for a moment, then his eyes widened, focusing on something only he could see as his brain started to work out the problem. “Yeah… not the worst plan…”

~*~

“We should eat,” Steve mumbled, nosing at the hair at the base of Peggy’s neck.

She hummed, snuggling back into his arms. “Perhaps.”

They’d been awake for quite some time, but despite all the things they kept saying they should do, neither could find the will, or the strength, to get out of the bed. The best answer, somehow, was the simplest: touch. It calmed them both, relaxed them both, and though it gave them no long-term answers, they agreed that torturing themselves by staying away or by fighting, by letting whatever was going on in their bodies take over, was simply out of the question.

Peggy’s stomach picked that precise moment to growl, the rumble reverberating through Steve, too. He laughed, and then pulled away reluctantly.

Peggy rolled, watching him slip on his shorts as he stood. She sighed as he turned back to her. “I’m still not sold on getting out of bed.”

“You don’t have to,” Steve leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. “Breakfast… or brunch, I guess, in bed.”

She felt like she’d just blinked her eyes shut when the mattress dipped and he was back, sitting at her hip with an over-ripe banana, a scrawny apple, and some packets of cheese and crackers that looked like they came straight from K Rations. He spread the bounty out in front of her as she sat up, slipping his undershirt on over her head and pulling the blankets around her waist. “Take your pick.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she picked up the apple. “What a fine feast.”

He shrugged, his eyebrows moving as much as his shoulders as he grabbed the banana. A flush moved up his chest and into his cheeks as he pealed it, “Gotta take care of my lioness.”

Peggy stopped halfway into biting her apple and smiled at him, even though his eyes were set hard on his own piece of fruit. “You do, my darling.” He peeked at her from the side of his eyes, but didn’t look all the way up. “And I have to say, I’m much happier with this than with a zebra. I have no desire to do all that butchering and cooking.”

His laugh wasn’t a full out guffaw, but it was more than a chuckle and it was music to her ears. It felt too long since she’d heard that sound. “Are you feeling better? You seem…” She didn’t finish, but met his eyes as he sat up taller and looked at her.

“Yeah,” he smiled softly, looking back down at his banana that he had yet to bite into. “Still a little foggy here and there, still have that… that voice in the back of my brain, but it’s better.” He bit into the banana, more to try to buy himself time to set his thoughts in line than because the browning flesh looked appealing at all. He swallowed hard. “It’s, uh… a little embarrassing.”

Peggy spoke around her mouthful of apple, eager to cut him off before he said another word. “If you apologize again, I might scream.” She swallowed quickly and shifted, her hand on his arm to get him to look at her. “Everything about this situation is embarrassing, Steve.” She shrugged, her own face reddening as she let her own feeling slip though. “Neither of us likes being vulnerable to start. It’s different… seeing one of us shot or limping around a battlefield- it’s not the same as me vomiting over the side of the bed or having our emotions laid bare for Howard to sift through. Having to bare ourselves to one another was bound to happen at some point, given we’ve pretty much decided to…” She coughed and looked away. They weren’t exactly engaged, but it felt as much in her head.

She was glad his voice was teasing; he could have very easily turned things heavy again and she just couldn’t take any more of that. “If you think I’m not making an honest woman of you after all this…”

She laughed and leaned against him, “Well, in that event, this wasn’t the first time you’ve seen me vomit and it undoubtedly won’t be the last.” She felt more than heard his chuckle and went back to biting into her small apple.

He shook his head as his eyes unfocused in memory. “Yeah, there was that time when we were stuck in France.”

She bit her apple again, shuddering at the memory, “Why any of you weren’t sick is still a mystery to me. You all ate the same stew I did.”

“We didn’t drink the water, though. Dugan convinced everyone else to have beer.” Steve shook his head. “Every time we thought you’d manage to finally stop, your body just found more to get out there. I had no idea your body could hold that much, Peg.”

“It obviously couldn’t, which is why I was spewing it out in the first place.” She shook her head, bumping him in the side as she picked up a packet of cheese and crackers. “Now, please stop talking about vomiting. I’d very much like to enjoy my rations in peace.”

~*~

It was three days with no word before Howard finally called to say that he would be over within the hour. In that time, a parade of nurses had come through, taking their blood and vitals over and over again, and Steve and Peggy settled into something akin of a daily routine.

They touched, they made love, and they tried to take advantage of whatever this time afforded to them meant.

It wasn’t that well tested, as they tended to touch more than not, but Peggy hadn’t felt even a tingle of pain since the shots. It seemed they had an answer, at least for her pain if not Steve’s mood swings, and that gave the Army and the SSR options.

They hadn’t heard a word or a whisper from Phillips or the Commandos, and Peggy was prepared to be shipped out back to London at any moment for Bletchley or worse, to be dishonorably discharged.

Steve swore up and down he wouldn’t let that happen, or that he’d threaten to leave with her, but she was pragmatic enough to know neither of them really had all that much choice in the matter.

When Howard did show up, he smiled like he was the cat that swallowed the canary. “Hey guys!”

He pushed past Steve, eyes just a little wild. “How ya been?”

Steve pushed the door closed slowly as Peggy starred him down in disbelief. “How have we been? Howard, how have we-?” She laughed. “Abysmal! Howard we’re sitting here, hearing nothing, being told nothing, and you waltz in here—”

Howard grabbed her and spun her around in a poor approximation of a waltz, Peggy still incensed in his arms. “Well, I mean, you gotta be at least a little better. Nurses said you haven’t had an ounce of pain in days, and Cap didn’t take me out like a lion hunting a gazelle yet.”

Steve, hands on his hips and chin set tight, strode over to them, “I still might, Howard.”

Howard spun Peggy out of his arms and Steve caught her, helping to set her straight before she toppled over. “What has gotten into you?” she wondered out loud, her anger melting more to concern at the man’s antics.

“Well, it hasn’t been sleep, I can tell you that.” Howard blinked his eyes rapidly, the mania behind them all that was keeping him upright. “But I have a short-term solution.”

“Jesus, sit before you fall over, you insane fool.” Peggy grabbed his hand and sat him on their small couch.

Howard fell into the cushions. “I’ve been called worse!” He rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Let me explain before I pass out, ok?”

Peggy sat next to him and Steve sat across, elbows on his knees. “You said short-term?” Steve asked, face serious.

Howard nodded, his attitude sobering. “I hate to admit it, but until I know exactly what they did to you, the chances of me figuring out how to reverse it are slim.” He dropped his hands and head, shaking it. “Your bodies are going through complex chemical reactions that no one’s ever seen before. Never mind the fact that I don’t even know if I’m looking at the right thing, the right reactions or the right side effects.” He turned maudlin, the lack of sleep shifting his mood. “I swear, I’m gonna keep trying but—”

“We know, Howard,” Peggy set her hand on his arm, and if either of them saw Steve shift uncomfortably, they pretended not to notice. “So, what’s the solution?”

He swallowed hard and sat tall. “Short term.” He pulled a box from his pocket and opened it.

Two bright, shiny, silver bands stared back at them.

Peggy licked her lips. “Marriage seems like a pretty long-term solution to me.”

Howard looked at Peggy, then at Steve’s tight expression, and laughed. “No, no… I mean, I just assumed you guys were headed there… but no. No. This isn’t…” He chuckled again and pulled the larger of the two rings from the case, showing them the inside where the ring proved to be a hollow shell, incasing what looked to be a plastic ring inside. He hit the ring on the small coffee table, the hard knock reverberating. “Super thin vibranium outer shell, incasing a soft silicone ring that’s embedded with hormones. Slow release through the skin means that neither one of you should be overwhelmed and that Steve won’t sleep it off.” He handed Steve the ring he held and Peggy picked up the second from the box. “You’ll have to change out the inner ring probably once every couple of days- maybe every day for Steve, I’m not exactly sure yet.”

“This is vibranium? Like my shield?” Steve ran his hands over the outer thin inner edge of the ring.

Howard nodded. “When I said your shield was all we had left, I meant it. There were only a few ounces of scraps, shavings really, and at the time I couldn’t see any good use for them. Certainly not enough to make any kind of shield or weapon out of. Turns out, just enough for a set of rings.”

He shrugged at Steve’s continued look of bafflement. “Have you ever met you two? You’re hard on just about everything the Army issues you. In theory, I could give you just the silicone ring to wear, or even put it like a patch somewhere on your body, but if the one side of the silicone is exposed the hormones will leach out into anything or anyone you touch- making it a bad day for them and less effective for you. Sure- silver or gold or even titanium would have done the trick- but I don’t trust either one of you to not come back after your first mission and hand it to me broken. At least with the vibranium it should have a little staying power.”

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh at his cockiness. “I’m more likely to lose my finger than the ring, you’re saying?”

He smirked. “Something like that.”

“So, what does this mean?” Steve asked, still touching the ring like it was something dangerous.

“It means you stay here for a day or so while you get used to them, then we let you loose on the base: Phillips is insufferable without you, Peg.” He shrugged, happy. “The you’re back in the field again with a good supply of back up inserts once we know it’s effective.”

Steve’s sigh was telling, Howard and Peggy could both hear the fears he let go in it. “So, they want us back? Active?”

“Yeah. Phillips is chomping at the bit.” Howard stood. “Caveat is you two go everywhere together, at least for now.” He shrugged, pulling a small bag out of his pocket with more of the silicone inserts inside and put it on the table next to the box the rings had been in. “Like I said, this is a short-term solution. If it works… which I think it will… it will only keep things at bay. You’ve both still got whatever the hell it is they put in Peggy doing a number on you, and the only way we know to keep a handle on that is to keep the two of you together.”

Howard sashayed to the door, hands in his pockets. “You know, it was Dugan who gave me the idea… that we should handcuff the two of you together.” Howard pointed at the rings. “Handcuffs, ball-and-chain, same thing, right?” He smiled. “Try ‘em out. I’m gonna go get some sleep.”

Peggy stood, moving to Steve’s side as Howard left as quickly as he’d come. “That man is a menace to science and society,” Peggy murmured.

Steve waited a breath and then turned to her, eyes serious, he held up his ring. “What do you think?”

Peggy looked down at her own ring then back up with a small smile. “I think if it gets us back working, if we can function without having to find an empty office or a supply closet, it’s a good solution for now.”

“For now,” Steve repeated, softly. He spun the circle around and around, thinking so hard Peggy thought he might explode. “It’s a… when I said I’d make an honest woman out of you, I didn’t really think it’d be today.”

Peggy covered his hands with hers, holding tight and waiting for him to look in her eyes. “It doesn’t have to mean all that, if you don’t want it to. We don’t have to wear them like that. Or we call Howard up and ask him to make something else—”

Steve stopped her words with an emphatic shake of his head. “Well, then, what’s the problem?” she asked.

“No, I just….” He smiled a little, still unsure. “Should we get a judge? Somebody?”

Peggy laughed and looked away, taking the ring from his hand before looking back, serious. “While I fully expect a big to-do that my mother can cry at once the war’s over, I think you and me, right here, is enough for now, don’t you?” She smiled up at him, taking his left hand and wiggling his ring over this fourth finger. “What do you say, Captain? Ready to be tied down to this old ball-and-chain?”

He wiggled his finger at her, his own smile growing. “For as long as you’ll have me, Margaret Carter.”

Peggy’s face soured as she slipped the ring on his finger. “Rule one if we’re to be married: Never call me Margaret. Reminds me of when my mother was cross at me, which was nearly all the time.”

“Duly noted, Mrs. Rogers,” he said, wagging his eyebrows at her and getting a quick chuckle as she handed him her ring and her left hand. “And you? You’re ready for this? Really?”

She nodded. “Every moment. Every mission. Every adventure. I’m ready.”

“Right next to me,” Steve acknowledged, his heart in his eyes, as he slipped the ring on her finger. “My best girl and the right partner.”

“The right partner,” Peggy whispered, lifting on tip toe to kiss him.

He pulled away, her lips still close as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “My lioness.”

Peggy kissed him again then tucked her head under his chin, happiness blooming from her belly through her whole body as the events of the last few minutes settled within her. “My lion.”

She had Steve, and she had a solution to what Hydra had done to her, even if it was just a fix for now.

It was all she needed.

#Steggy Bingo Bash #Steggy Fic #3P's Fic

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emy-loves-you · 4 years

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Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 21

Picnics and Confessions

Chapter 20 | Masterlist

There’s a brief mention of sex, but other than that there shouldn’t be anything else. I hope you enjoy this final chapter of the original series, and I’ll be back soon with the sequel!

“She smiled and she said

on days like this

it seems like it never rains” Remus sang, getting out of the car. He skipped around to the passenger seat, opening the door and holding his arm out.

“But without the rain, we’d starve.” Janus duetted, grabbing Remus’ arm as he got out. They walked up the driveway, softly singing one of Remus’ favorite songs. Before Janus could even knock, the front door swung open to reveal Virgil. He was a wreck; there were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair looked like a rat’s nest. His eyes were wide and panicked as he led them inside.

“You’re late!” Virgil hissed out, slamming the door shut behind them. The house was a mess. The kitchen sink was overflowing with dirty pots and pans that they knew weren’t there yesterday. The coffee maker was on (a rare sight these days) and there were several towels lying about, presumably cleaning coffee spills if the dark brown liquid was any indication. There was a large picnic basket in the living room, along with a large pile of makeup products.

“Your date doesn’t start until 3, right?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at the messes. It was very un-Virgil-like to be messy. While Remus was used to cleaning up from a young age (*cough* shitty parenting *cough*), it was Virgil who actually wanted a clean house (sure, Janus did too, but he had no cooking or cleaning experience before he met Virgil). Virgil must be really stressed out if he didn’t subconsciously clean up after himself.

“Yeah, but I’ve got an errand to run beforehand.” Virgil replied, leading them to his room. There were clothes strewn about everywhere, but his bed was neatly made. His clock read 10:22 AM. Janus scowled at the clock. How long had Virgil been up?

“You seem to be taking this quite seriously.” Janus commented, moving some of the clothes so he could sit on the edge of the bed. “Almost as if this was-”

Remus gasped, bouncing on the tips of his toes. “A DATE! Is this a date?”

Virgil sighed, grabbing a fistful of his own hair. “I don’t know! Maybe?” He started pacing around the room. “What if they don’t see this as a date and I show up in something too formal? What if they DO see this as a date and I show up in something too casual? God, what if this is a date and I blow it? What if they see me and get angry that I lied to them and they hate me and-”

“Virgil, breathe.” Janus said, gesturing over to Remus. Remus walked over to Virgil and grabbed him by the shoulders, which forced him to stop pacing. Virgil stood there for a second, his eyes wide and unfocused. “Breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. You’re doing so well, Virgil.” Janus instructed, praising Virgil when he started following the breathing exercise. It took several minutes for Virgil to calm down.

“Thanks, guys.” Virgil finally said, flopping down on the bed next to Janus. “I’m gonna screw this up.”

“No, you won’t.” Janus said, carding his fingers through Virgil’s hair. He immediately leaned into the touch. Remus bounced his way over to the closet.

“And even if you do, they won’t judge you for it.” Remus said cheerfully, sorting through Virgil’s clothes. “Roro’s dating Craft and Morales, right?”

“Logan Croft and Patton Morale.” Virgil corrected him, still relaxed in Janus’ hold.

“Whatever,” Remus replied, still sifting through Virgil’s clothes. “I may have left before the three of them got together, but I remember them being friends. Other than Ro and Lo’s ‘spats’ I’ve never seen the three of them be mean on purpose.”

“What about your fight with Ro outside the bathroom? And his argument with me when I met him?” Virgil asked, closing his eyes.

“I started that argument with Ro. And he thought that you groped him, so he’s not really at fault.” Remus sighed. “Look, I’m not gonna promise you that nothin’ll go wrong. But, I know those three, from both my high school years and your interactions with them. Worst case scenario, they ask you to stop flirting with ‘em and you remain friends. Best case scenario,” Remus turned around, holding the perfect outfit for Virgil. “You get yourself three hunkin’ pieces of man meat.”

Virgil blushed, getting up and grabbing the outfit. It was a black v-neck t-shirt and black skinny jeans, both skin-tight. Virgil grabbed those along with his jacket that Patton made him for Christmas, and went to the bathroom to change.

Remus turned to look at Janus. “Bet you he ends up sleeping with them tonight.”

Janus tilted his head. “How much?”

Remus grinned, holding out his hand. “If you win, I’ll never complain about that stupid rug again. If I win, the rug goes.”

Janus thought for a moment before smiling, taking Remus’ hand. “Deal.” He pulled Remus in so that he was straddling Janus, their lips meeting in a heated kiss.

“Ew, gross. You’re in my room guys.” The two gays turned to see Virgil standing in the doorway. Remus whistled. Virgil sighed, gesturing to the living room. “C’mon, I need help with my hair and makeup.”

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Virgil stepped into the confectionery, smiling at the pleasant chime that the door made. It was weird; even though Virgil had bought almost every item here at least once, he’s never actually entered the store until now. He heard someone up at the counter and walked over. He was pleasantly surprised to recognize the person’s voice.

“Hello, welcome to the Chocolate Plaza, how may I- HOLY SHMOKES YOU’RE ANXIETY!” Joan yelled, obviously recognizing Virgil’s persona. Virgil smirked. Maybe telling Joan can help Virgil prepare himself for telling his crushes.

“Hey Joan, I’ve got three boxes under the name ‘Storm.’” Virgil said, leaning onto the counter. His smirk widened when Joan recognized his voice.

“Virgil? You’re Anxiety?” At Virgil’s nod, their face lit up. “I was wondering why you never wanted to pick up your chocolate! So, what’s the occasion, Mr. Rockstar?”

Virgil laughed, pulling out his wallet. “I’m finally telling my crushes that I’m Anxiety. Y’know, the people I’ve been shipping these chocolates to.”

Joan went to grab the boxes of chocolate, yelling out behind them. “So you’ve spent hundreds of dollars worth of chocolate on them and they’ve never seen your face before?”

“Not as Virgil.” He yelled back, a blush of embarrassment forming on his face.

Joan laughed. “You’ve fallen for them hard, haven’t you?” They laughed when Virgil blushed harder. “Well, I hope you don’t need these apology chocolates, but here they are anyways.” Virgil’s blush didn’t fade as he paid for the chocolates and left.

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Virgil sighed as he made his way to Waverly Park. It was 2:30 now, and the park was about 15 minutes away. He’d still be early, but not as early as he wanted to be. Just as he adjusted the basket in his hands he felt something his nose. He stopped to wipe his nose when something else hit his cheek. It took Virgil a moment to figure out what it was: water.

It was raining.

Virgil groaned, but he kept walking. Hopefully, it would only sprinkle and go away soon. The weather forecast didn’t say anything about rain. Why did it have to rain now?

Unfortunately, the rain did not cease. Within minutes, the rain started to pour, and soon Virgil was soaked to the bone. He shivered as he weighed his options. It would be at least 10 minutes before Remus or Janus could pick him up, and even if he got to the park, there would be nowhere to shelter them from the rain. Virgil felt tears start to form in his eyes. He’d planned everything down to the letter, but like always it somehow managed to go horribly wrong. He looked up at the street name, ready to text it to Janus, when he recognized it. He turned around, squinting through the rain before he saw what he was looking for.

Patton, Logan, and Roman’s house. Without really thinking of the consequences, Virgil ran.

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Patton sighed, hanging up his coat. He and his boyfriends had just gotten ready for their date (was it a date? He hoped it was) with Virgil when it started to rain. He grabbed his phone, ready to cancel his plans. Maybe they could go out tomorrow? Patton wasn’t sure if he could wait that long.

Knock Knock Knock

“Coming!” Patton called out, hurrying to the door. Who in their right mind would be walking around in this storm? When he opened the door he was surprised by what he saw.

“Hey, Pat.” Virgil whimpered out, tremors shaking his entire frame. His oversized jacket (the one Patton made for him!) hung off of him, dripping slightly. His hair was pressed against his forehead, and his makeup had smeared down his face. He looked like he was about to fall over- and he was still carrying that basket, the poor thing!

“Aw, sweety,” Patton murmured, taking his basket and jacket. He led Virgil to the sofa, wrapping him up in the nearest blanket (Logan’s space-themed comforter that he’d left there last night). “I’m gonna head upstairs real quickly, okay kiddo?” At Virgil’s nod, he made his way upstairs. He passed by Roman and Logan, who were changing into more comfortable clothes. “Lo, please go turn up the thermostat. And Ro, can you go grab some of your comfy clothes? Virgil’s closest to your size.” When they just paused and looked at him, he explained himself. “Virgil’s downstairs. He was probably on his way to the park. The poor fella, he’s soaked to the bone. He might have hypothermia.”

“Well, that won’t do at all!” Roman said, turning to grab some clothes. “We mustn’t let our future love freeze to death!”

“Future love IF he says yes,” Logan remarked, heading downstairs to change the thermometer. Patton smiled, heading to their room to grab spare blankets.

Logan saw Virgil downstairs and smiled. “It’s nice to see you again, though I wish it could be under…better circumstances.” Virgil nodded, and Logan noticed that he was still crying. As soon as he turned the temperature up, Logan moved to sit next to Virgil. He wrapped his arm around Virgil, happy to see that he wasn’t shivering as much.

Roman and Patton headed down soon after, carrying spare clothes and blankets. “We have arrived!” Roman called out, making Patton giggle. “And we’ve brought gifts!” Virgil started crying harder. Roman noticed and moved to kneel in front of him. Patton sat on Virgil’s other side. “What’s wrong?” Roman asked, catching himself before he called Virgil ‘storm cloud.’

Virgil struggled to talk through his tears. “T-today w-was supposed t-to be p-perfect.” He stammered out. “I w-wanted to have a p-picnic, and I’d t-tell you that I was A-Anxiety, and I’d g-give you chocolates- and-” He gasped, nearly choking on his own tears.

Roman grabbed Virgil’s hands, gently messaging them. “Breathe, Storm Cloud, it’s okay. Today is perfect. You’re here, we’ve still got the picnic and chocolates, and just seeing you makes me so happy-” Before Roman could continue, someone kissed him quiet. Roman was used to this; it was something they all tended to do when one of them rambled for too long. Something was different, however. It took a moment for Roman to figure out what it was.

Virgil was kissing him.

Before Roman could process that, Virgil suddenly pulled away. “I’m sorry.” Virgil said quickly, looking down. He moved to pull away some more. Well, that wouldn’t do at all.

Roman surged upwards, lips meeting Virgil’s. He tried to convey all of his emotions into this kiss. All of his love, insecurity, adoration, and desperation. It felt like an inferno was igniting within him. He sighed as they separated a second time, this time for air. Roman looked Virgil in the eye. “Don’t you dare feel sorry.” Roman panted out. “You mean the world to me.”

Virgil sat there, completely still. Whether it was because of the kiss or because of what Roman said, Virgil couldn’t tell. “But I lied to you for almost a year! I didn’t tell you that I was Anxiety! I don’t deserve you guys!” He felt a hand grab his jaw and he let it turn his head. He was now looking Patton dead in the eye.

Patton glared at him. “Virgil Storm, don’t you dare start talking bad about yourself!” He said sternly. His gaze softened slightly. “Besides,” He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s nose, forehead, cheeks, and finally his lips. “We already realized that you were Anxiety, Virgil.”

Virgil’s eyes widened with every kiss, and he started gaping once Patton finished talking. “Really?” He felt another hand on his cheek, and he let it guide him. He was now facing Logan, who had a very tender expression on his face.

“While Patton has known since Valentine’s Day, Roman and I discovered it the day of the concert. However, this does not change our opinion of you.” He reached to cup Virgil’s cheekbone. “Virgil, you are funny, clever, talented, and an all-around amazing individual. We are all in love with you, and would like to in a relationship with you. Will you do us the honor of joining our relationship?” Logan asked, stars in his eyes.

Virgil nodded, pressing his lips to Logans. “Yes, yes, yes” He said between kisses. He smiled, tears forming in his eyes as he kissed Logan. He could barely get his head around that. He just kissed Roman and Patton, and now he’s kissing Logan! It was a dream come true and he couldn’t stop crying.

Logan suddenly pulled back, wiping away Virgil’s tears. “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes. Then we can eat and watch a movie. Does that sound satisfactory?”

Virgil nodded, his smile never fading. “I love you guys, so much.”

Logan smiled back. “And we love you.”

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

#useless gays #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders

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asukaskerian · 3 years

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monthly + yearly wordcounts

DECEMBER : TOTAL: 8 157 POSTED: nuthin'! (posted this month but written earlier: Days on a wire, sequel to cherry wine, madara/tobirama/izuna ABO chapter 1.) WORK IN PROGRESS: -Naruto: Days on a wire chapter 3 (5 029 words) (madatobiizu ABO) (some of which i might not keep because i'm rearranging the chapters, but most of it is pretty solid. yeee.) -Bleach: GrimmIchiHimeNel suburban OT3 (471 words) (yet another attempt at the same stuck sceeeene why this is an adorable silly romance why is it stuck aaaa) -Bleach: Grimmichi psychic wolves AU chapter 6 (2 657 words) (gotta get it postable for lupercalia! NEXT MONTH AHHHH gogogogogogogo) This wasn't a horrible month! still not great but i manaed more than piecemeal snippets here and there, i managed to get out whole scenes at once and it feels kinda great. plus i had a scene idea for bloodpsort. ahhh come ON brain you can do it.

YEARLY WORD COUNTS

jan: 6 606 feb: 6 654 mar: 13 699 apr: 11 266 may: 14 132 jun: 12 415 jul: 9 421 aug: 7 496 sep: 4 737 oct: 6 037 nov: 5 171 dec: 8 157 TOTAL: 105 791. AVERAGE: 8 816. all the over 10k months were naruto ABO-heavy months. hm. 2010: 136 235, average: 11 353/month. ... :X :X :X 2011: 167 675, average: 13 973/month. :X 2012: 332 396, average: 27 700/month. eeeeeeee. 2013: 396 917, average: 33 076/month !!!!!!!! 2014: 315 332, average: 26 276/month ... :X 2015: 206 403, average: 17 200/month. 2016: 127 495, average: 10 625/month. >:( 2017: 80 828, average: 6 736/month. .__. 2018: 128 033, avergage: 10 669/month. FUCK YOU 2017. 2019: 159 609, average: 13 300/month. huh! 2020: 105 791, average: 8 816/month. ... hhghhrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh flops. so i'm seeing the adhd specialist in like two weeks. i stg if it doesn't help i'm gonna blow a gasket. this isn't my worst year but it's the second worst and i can't even blame it on the corona because i actually like working part-time from home and it means less time on the bus. if also less time in sports, which is bad for my health generally but should have given me another four or so more hours in the week and i did jack shit with them apparently.

December teasers:

-- MadaTobiIzu ABO -- "By a debut, would you happen to mean a hunt?" Tobirama enquired, voice still calm, almost pleasant. Mimaki-sama grinned widely, looking charming and relaxed. "Not a full marriage hunt, of course, but a courting hunt?" ... That asshole. Courting hunts weren't binding, more of a teenager's game ending in stolen kisses, but they sure as hell were used as an excuse to test things out -- strength, supposedly, and interest and desirability, and your ability to catch your intended for sure, but. Sometimes those hunts were also used to father children the sires would never have to acknowledge. Since it wasn't supposed to be serious enough to allow the unwilling to defend themselves as vigorously as a real one-- "Mimaki-sama honors this lowly omega with his suggestion," Tobirama replied, and smiled. "This lowly omega does not wish to return his generosity by agreeing to less than a full, traditional hunt." Silence cut through the titters and whispers of the hall as the watchers suddenly remembered that traditionally, in a marriage hunt where the omega and their set did not wish to be married, they were entirely allowed to murder their suitors out of hand. Madara choked, heard Izuna choke as well, his fan spread open to hide almost his entire face as he turned away. A beat, two, and Ikume-sama burst out laughing. Her brother made a face, and then chuckled along gamely. Izuna let loose, as silently as he could under the tide of relieved cackles and entirely fake chuckles. "Aah, entirely uninterested in husbands that could not best you in combat, are you." "Ikume-sama is wise," Tobirama replied, still smiling in that terrifying way. -- bleach suburban ot4 -- So far their best option is to play model guests and pray. "Worst thing is I like them," Nelliel can't help admitting. They're so damn sweet. It'd be easier if she had to put it on, if she didn't have to care that they're going to run out of pity at some point. She's expecting a snappy retort, or an eyeroll, or a "I really don't", but Grimmjow doesn't say anything, just stands all at once and goes looking for a fresher shirt. Her chest squeezes with -- something unpleasant, frustrated and off-balance, like she's being ignored. Abandoned. "Grim--" "I know that." His voice is so rough, it feels like it must hurt his throat. "I'm fucking trying, alright? Ain't gonna ruin this for you." He's not looking at her, just digging into his suitcase with every muscle tight, twitchy movements like a leashed beast. -- Psychic woooooolves - bleach -- "We don't want you to betray a confidence," Rukia started, a bit quieter. "But I called Captain Ukitake earlier, and -- Ichigo, I didn't like it. The only thing he said was to stick with you and wait for a squad to come. That... Doesn't sound good. You know it doesn't." Ichigo gave a begrudging grunt. "I know. It's not great from the inside either." "So you see why--" Renji elbowed Rukia; Rukia elbowed him back. Ichigo frowned at them. Okay, now they were definitely speaking in the pack sense, and it was an argument. He could feel the edges of it -- Renji wanted her to use some tact, please, and Rukia thought she was being extremely tactful already as it was. "Just say it," he grumbled, resting his head heavily in his hand. His skin was tacky with sweat and dust and things, he itched everywhere, and no matter how hot Grimmjow was he wished he could evict him from the shower a tiny little bit more than he wished he could join him inside it. The stall was too small for two men and he was rapidly approaching a point where he did not care quite as much about being chivalrous and hospitable as he should have. "Listen, buddy, I'm sure he's a cool guy, but maybe he's--" "You're being led around by your dick!" Ichigo gave a very slow blink. Rukia puffed up her cheeks and leaned further over the table. Renji groaned. "He's hot! He's mysterious! It was your first time knowing the overwhelming fervency of lupine passion! Of course you like him! But maybe he's the danger you need protected from." Ichigo groaned back and folded in two, pressing his red face against the cool tabletop. Renji stretched his arm across to pat his shoulder. "I wouldn't have said it like that, but let's be honest, he doesn't even have to mean trouble to be trouble, and you're... Well, you're a magnet for it, pal." "Uuuugh, shut up." He's not wrong. "You shut up too." You have a strong soul and a strong drive to fix/straighten/herd. It's to be expected. "Oh, no, you are not putting this on me. You were the one they noticed!" The old man gave him a long, subtly amused look. Ichigo thought vengeful thoughts about little bows and braided manes of hair. Hmm. Being combed does not feel bad. I will accept the bows. "Shuuuuut up. Jerk." He pushed himself back up, scowling to discourage his human guests from asking. "Anyway, Grimmjow's leaving soon anyway, so I guess that trouble is gonna take care of itself." "Are you going to pine?" Rukia asked with clinical curiosity. Ichigo glowered. "He's going to pine," Renji confirmed with a heaving sigh. "There, there, we'll have movie marathons and ice cream and things. Maybe you can come up to the Court next holiday, that'll distract you." "I am not going to pine for a guy I slept with once!" "Only once?" "... I'm counting a single night as once. Rukia I swear to God if you--" Feeble stamina, Shirayuki mused, sending waves of sorry-that-sucks at Old Man Zangetsu.

#teaser #ABO quest

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Wonder Woman 1984 Review “The Monkey’s Paw Wish of Superhero Movies”

Before we dig in, I just want to properly frame how much of a fucking disapointment this film was to me. It was thanks to the first film that I became the massive Wonder Woman fan I am today. Thanks to that movie and it’s accompanying sale, as Comixology likes to put sales on to tie into things as you’d expect, I tried Greg Rucka’s run on the title.. and quickly bought the second volume and will buy the third which didn’t exist yet at some point, as it’s easily one of my faviorite comics of all time, one i’ll undoubtly cover, and one that throughly sold me on the amazon princess, and throughly defined what she is to me: a compasionate warrior. Someone who WILL fight, who will take on the bad guys without hesitation, and who WILL kill if she has to.. but also someone whose compationate. Who will genuinely try to reform foes, who only kills as a last resort and not as a first option like some adaptations and the new 52 seem to think. She’s someone who in said run went out of her way to help her old friend and currently brainwashed foe Vanessa Kapetlis get cured of being the silver swan. She’s someone whose wholhe purpose for writing a book wasn’t money but simply to spread her people and her gods teachings. Someone whose , kind, noble, badass, smart and easily every bit the pure soul superman is. The run sold me on the character throughly and made me a fan to this day, one currently pouring thorugh both Rucka’s second run, and George Perez’ equally good run and one who hopes the upcoming dc relaunch means she’ll stop swapping writers every few months and get the run she deserves. I just wanted to sell how much I treasured the character now thanks to the first movie and thus how hyped beyond hype I was for this movie. It had a great cast, a great setting, cool trailers.. sure they didn’t show off the plot but it had to be good right? This couldn’t be say.. a giant, overly long mess of tangled plots, padding, terrible pacing, unfortunate implications and pedro pascal devouring the scenery in a manner galactus would be proud of right?

Well that’s what we got. After a year of hoping it’d come out some way this year, after having it delayed and after a year where MANY projects I loved were necessarily delayed due to covid... I got what I wanted. I got the movie i’d been hoping to see for months and months and months... and just like the wishes in the movie itself... it went horribly, horribly wrong. What I expected was something great as the other recent DC Movies.. what I got was a huge disapointing mess capping off a huge disapointing mess of a year. So while i’m a bit late due to contracting Covid and all the “FUN” that comes with that, I still felt like tearing into this film to figure out why I didn’t like it, what good parts it did have, and what the hell went wrong here. Spoilers and full review after the cut.

The Plot: Unlike my usual summaries I do, i’m keeping this one short and susicnt for those who haven’t seen the film: After a cold open flashback to diana’s childhood that was an omen of the boring padding to come, we get our main plot: It’s 1984 and Diana is acting in semi secret and helping out where she can. After some artifact thefts she takes a job at a museum and meets meek nerdy nerdy and office punching bag Barbra Minerva. The two strike up a kind of friendship, with Barbra wishing she could be as cool as diana especially after Diana saves her from being assaulted by a creepy random asshole.

Diana hasn’t moved on from Steve Trevor’s death in the previous film, and thus when encountering a mysterious stone wishes for him to come back. Barbra likewise wishes fto be just like diana. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord, a conman who has sold a bunch of bogus oil plots, plots to steal the stone himself and does so by seducing Barbra, and instead of wishing for more wishes, wishes to GRANT THEM instead, thus overnight making his buisness a sucess and using the inevitible monkey’s paw consequences of said wishes to benifit himself. Meanwhile Diana is reunited with Steve who for some reason has hyjacked someone elses body, and even has sex with Diana in it which is all kinds of creepy and wrong that we’ll get into soon enough. Meanwhile everyone now notices Barbara.. and she’s also gaining Diana’s powers but slowly loosing her empathy. Diana eventually finds out with Barba’s help that the stone is dangerous and it’s wishes backfire horribly, while Max continues to gain power with his as Diana chases after him, slowly loosing her own power as her consequence for the wish. You know instead of the fact her lover took someone elses body and life and they have to live with that. Eventually Max gets the power of a soverign nation and the satilte codes off the president, and plans to broadcast himslef the the world to offset his own wish consequence, his body slowly failing, by taking other people’s health. Steve urges Diana to renounce her wish and give him up to get her power back, she reluctnantly and painfully does so, and then goes after Max. Barbra however has sided with max and has him give her even more power turning her into a cat person as you’d expect. Wonder woman and the now fully cat Cheetah battle, it’s really cool looking, but Diana barely wins. We do get a decent climax with Diana not fighting max, not that she can with how powerful she’s become, but using the lasso of truth to get him to see the damage he’s done, give up and go back to his son. The world is saved Diana is moving on and also Linda Carter is there for some reason.

So now you have general idea of what happens, I can dig into the films faults, and it’s one or two strengths, one at a time, ONE AT A TIME. First off the film’s biggest issue by far and one that wouldn’t come through in the recap Padding and Pacing: THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 hrs 41 min

I said it once before but it bears repeating now:

THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 HOURS AND 41 MINUTES LONG

I am a firm belivier a film should be as long or short as it needs to be. If it’s under the standard 90 minutes, that’s cool, if it’s say three hours like avengers endgame that’s cool too. After the theater it’s easy enough to watch it in chunks, and sometimes a film just NEEDS that space and scope.

This film.. did not need that. This is not the cumilation of 10 years of storytelling, as slapdashidly planned as it was till phase 3, this is a film that feels painfully long to watch due to how padded it is. You could’ve cut those 40 mintues from this film EASILY and while you wouldn’t of had a good film, sadly, you would’ve had a way more enjoyable cheesy superhero movie. I”m tackling this one first because it just.. oozes all over the film. For every great and memorable bit in the movie and every questionable one we’ll get to, for every gloriously so bad it’s good moment... there’s about 10 minutes of scene that did not need to be there. It slows down the film to a crawl and given the original had pitch perfect pacing I do not get how Patty Jenkins screwed this up.

I do think Patty Jenkins is a good director. I did like the first movie, I do think a lions share of the credit goes to her writing and direction for that one. And a LOT of the sequences in this film are utterly goregously shot and fun to watch. I also, even if I don’t like this film, am extastic she forced the stuido to pay her more money to work on the film, as she deserves as much as any male director, it’s bullshit they tried to short change her, and again she was the reason the first film was so good. She deserved equal fucking pay for making Warner money hand over fist.

But I also say this because i’m disapointed in HER. She CAN do better, she already did the first time and the only real down spot, the spotty cgi climax, was not her fault. And hell here she did get the climax she wanted, and wrote one hell of one. I”ll go into it more later but the finale of this movie from the pitch perfect fight with cheetah, dodgy face work nonwithstanding, to the final speech to the world is just gorgeous to watch. Even in this mess of a film there are some really good really tightly shot sequences that i’ll get to.. but their broken up by padding and padding nad more padding. This film is bloated, it needed to be edited down but she clearly REFUSED TO, gunshy after the whole Ares thing last time... and thus shot herself in the foot repeadtly. I sitll have some hope for the next movie and Rogue Squadron, but Jenkins rightfully lost any blind faith I had in her this film would be good just as the directors of it chapter 2 lost it by.. making a terrible sequel to a great movie. Given this happened in the span of a year you’d THINK i’d of prepared myself for that.. but no. Sadly.. no.

But back to the point of this section: the film is just really padded. A lot of it is just scenes going on longer than they need to but there are some specific bits, some recurring others all in one go, that just really get tedious and pad things out. Let’s rattle em off shall we? The Opening: Now the opening is gorgeously shot, and it is nice to see Thymesicra again.. but the sequence is twiece as long as it needed to be, often just devolves into frantic shots of running.. and really dosen’t need to be here. I love Thymesicra, I love Hipolita, I love this damn beautiful island.. but we did not need it for this one. I THOUGHT it was there because the climax would be Max and Barbra invading the island or something.. but no. It has nothing to do with the main plot other than selling the film’s message “Nothing good comes from lies and shortcuts” which is a good message.. but the film already conveys that well. For all it’s flaws it well conveys the fact that the easy way to get what you want ALWAYS comes with a cost. That you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need. So we didn’t need 10 minutes of amazons running around just to make a point that the film already makes and it wreaks of Warner wanting to put the amazons in the film because “that’s what people expect.”

Steve Trevor Dinking Around for 20 Minutes: I will admit as dumb as it was.. I really loved the Steve Trevor 80′s fashion show. Oh it was dumb.. beyond belieif.. but it’s REALLY hard to hate a good 5 minutes of chris pine putting on stupid 80′s outfits. I do think like a lot of this film it was longer than it needed to be and it defintely needed a good catchy 80′s tune alongside it, just go full bollocks if your doing this, but otherwise it’s just hard not to joy, even if in a so bad it’s good kind of way, this kind of lunacy in a major stuido film

That goodwill died quckily as the next 15 goddamn minutes, 5 for the fashion show which while i liked it did not need to be in the film as long as it was, were just steve getting used to the new world of the 80′s. While I like the idea of Steve now in Diana’s roll as stranger in a strange land, instead of using it cleverly or having him ruminate over all his friends being dead Captain America style or .. a billion other things we could’ve used this time for if you really needed it, we instead just get Steve and Diana farting around for 20 minutes and Chris Pine making stupid faces. Chris Pine deserved better than this. He seems to be a steerling person in his personal life and I seriously doubt he’s done any movie bad enough to have earned this.. I mean he did do Star Trek: Into Darkness but NONE of those films problems were his fault. It’s just really, REALLY terrible, and even more boring in padded in places than this film but without the good bits or the haminess of pedro pascal to make it even remotely watchable. Point is i’m doing a blind look, and this is blind I just came up with tihs bit while I was writing and have not looked at chris pine’s filmography before, to see if there’s anything really bad enough to justify him being put through this buffonery.

Turns out .. yeah yeah he did. Two films in fact are just bad enough that he did in fact sign on to something bad enough to justify this. There were one or two other contenders but Princess Diaries 2 was earlier in his career, Into The Woods much like Into Darkness was not his fault and honestly if I were offered a part in a glitzy hollywood adaptation of a beloved musical i’d sign on too without heistation, and while Wrinke in Time is kind of a mess, Chris Pine is easily one of the best parts of it. No the two films that make him DESERVE the goofy terrible fish out of water stuff are this means war, a film I saw throughly savaged by Matthew “Film Brain” Buck, which is about two douchey cia agents competing over a woman without thinking that MAYBE the choice is hers, and also setting up CONSTNAT SURVILENCE over her and basically stalking her to sabatoge each others dates. And while I did mention that review, because it did give context.. even from the trailer I could tell this was sexist, bro douchey, and stupid and wanted no part of it. So yeah signing on this this, post star trek’s success where he had his pick of projects and was at the hight of his fame.. is inexcusable. The other is just... the kind of embarassing dtv film a person does before they get famous but is so horrendously premised that I still can’t give it to him. Like I get needing work, I do comissions 10 for movies now and 5 for tv show episodes and issues of comics if you were curious, so I understand that.. but even at his most desperate... why would you possibly take... this?

.. wait is that Stephen Tobowsky in the credits? Good god his career is depressing some time.. but at least unlike chris I GET him being in this as he needs money and despite his long and storied career, has to take what he can get. Wheras Chris was a promsing young star who while needing a break, CAN’T of thought this would be remotely sucessful and can’t of paid that well. But since the poster might not convey the premise.. the premise is Chris is a Blind Man looking for love set up on BLIND DATES.

It sounds like a fucking Adam Sandler film premise. I’m honestly suprised he hasn’t remade this film with himself, david spade, or rob schinder, whose apparently on good terms with him again, god help us all. And DON’T. TELL. HIM. He still hasn’t made that worst film imaginable he promised for getting Snubbed for Uncut Gems. Yes I know, Hubie Halloween came out but that was in production long before the promise and not that bad. Not great, pretty average, but not terrible. Point is do not tempt Adam Sandler to remake this film. He still owes us the worst film he can muster INTENTIONALLY, as Pixels, Rediculous Six, That’s My Boy? That was all him trying to make GOOD movie. Be afraid be VERY afraid. The other point is this premise is just really bad, REALLY offensive to blind people to make being blind into a stupid punchline, and I.. will probably watch this at some point because i’m bafflingly curious about this terrible terrible thing Chris Pine probably wanted us all to forget about, but will now never have that luxury as long as I live. The Fireworks Scene: This one is just..really dumb. Like really dumb. Every bit of this scene was dumb and we could’ve just.. had them get on a plane to egypt like normal people or steal a jet off screen. So to get to Egypt, Diana and Steve steal a jet which Steve can somehow fly despite decades of progress in how planes work at this point and him not knowing what radar is. He also gets shot ot at because Diana FORGOT, somehow, that radar exists and didn’t tell him. They also steal a jet instead of just taking an airliner or her calling in a favor since while it’s been a good few decades and Etta is sadly long dead, the candy family probably knows and loves her well enough and probably still has some military personal who could pull some strings and bring a jet over from london. It’s a stretch.. but not much more than “let’s steal a plane and hope we don’t die. “

Why this is in the padding section is because we then get a way too long bit of the two flying through a field of fireworks.. which also apparently existed LONG before steve was even born, so I donn’t quite get why he’s so shocked. And while i’ts not a bad CONCEPT for a scene the fact the two are being persued by the military for stealing a jet AND have to get to egypt so urgently they had to steal the jet in the first place lest Max do something horrible, which he ends up doing anyway... to take 10 minutes to gaze at the pretty fireworks. It’s just.. a waste of time in a movie that wasted already too much time.

Some of the barbra scenes: We’ll dive more into Barbra in a bit, and this is easily the least offesnive on this list, but a lot of the scnees of her discovering her new power could’ve been compressed. There are seperate scenes of her discovering she dosen’t need glasses anymore and picking up a ton of weight at the gym, while in 80′s workout clothes because of course she is. Both of those could’ve been one, either having her pick up something heavy like nothing casually or just having her glasses fall and break at the gym, have some cute guy help her up to help sell the wish making her feel noticed, and realize she don’t need em. It’s minor in comparison, but a good chunk of her plot badly needed to be streamlined.

And those are just the main offenders. The film’s pacing in general is just attrocious. It takes half an hour for the plot to move along most of the time.. there’ ssome good character stufff but they could’ve better weaved it into the plot and in some Barbra scenes and most of Max’s they DID. It’s just for the most part there’s a lot of repttition of stuff we already knew and figured out and it takes forever for the plot to move to the next phase until the last half hour. And by then my niece was already in the kitchen playing with her new slime having enitrely checked out, my mom was asleep and my brother just wanted this film over already and both of us were only hanging in out of obligation. This film blows most of what little potetial it has taking too damn long to get to the point. As I said it’s fine for a film to be long.. but while Endgame had laggy sections and some of it’s own problems.. it USED the huge runtime effectivey, using the first hour to both show our heroes had truly lost, then to set up the post-time skip world and just what had become of our heroes and their arcs for the movies. The second hour is mostly the time heist, a fun tour through the mcu’s history that also helps progress arcs and the final act is basically one MASSIVE glorious battle featuring every single hero who hadn’t suffered a non-snap related death in one of the best big action scnenes i’ve ever seen. It was well crafted and it’s slower moments were for character stuff and not because they felt the film needed to feel as long as the rest of the year had felt. But while it was the film’s main flaw and the main reason i’ts bad instead of mediocre..there’s one other massive flaw that utterly sinks the damn film and robs of it of a lot of it’s emotional weight The Character Assassination of Diana Prince:

Now we get to the part that really pisses me off one that was already kinda bad while watching but just got worse the more I thought about it: Diana’s Charcterization here. Despite being flawless in the first film.. here it’s just bad. It’s bad and it should feel bad. I can’t fathom how Jenkins lost touch so badly with the character, and I don’t think the Co-Writer Remotley helped. The Co-Writer for this film was Geoff Johns, a dc wunderkind whose reinvented the flash, green lantern, the justice society of america and aquaman, all brilliantly. The last one was even largely the basis for his damn fun movie. I have a lot of respect for the man... but like a lot of creators he’s not immune to screwing up and has made a LOT of mistakes, the biggest being forcing Cyborg away from the titans and into the justice league not for diversity’s sake like he probably claims.. but really because he didn’t want to use John Stewart instead of Hal Jordan, who he has an odd obession with i’ve never gotten, something the incoming writer of Green Lantern, Geoffry Throne, turns out to have complained about for years, as well as apparnetly giving out about Jordan SO MANY TIMES, that an entire artcle was made revealing this... and I’m perfectly fine with that as it should be clear I don’t like Hal Jordan all that much and while he’s been in some good runs, the other earth lanterns are FAR more intersting than him and far more unique. Thankfully the new series seems to be focusing on multiple of them and while hal seems to be getting some focus, Simon and Jessica are the main stars of modern day. So hell yeah to that. Let’s get back to the actual point.

The point being that one of his weaknesses as a writer.. is he really dosen’t get Wonder Woman. He just dosen’t. During Justice League he wrote her as a violent warrior and during Infinite Crisis, as expertly pointed out by LInkara during his review of it a few years back, he had her “not understand what being human is” .. despite this being at the SAME TIME as that Greg Rucka run I mentioned, meaning at the time of Inifnite Crisis, she had her own embassy for her people set up, had written a book, and had just spent a good chunk of that run trying to free an old friend who’d been brainwashed into a psychotic killing machine from her mechanical inhancments killing her and driving her insane. She willingly blinded herself with fucking snake venom to save the world from Medusa’s gaze and avenge a child THEN went on a long and arduous quest for the gods simiply to ressurect said child, with no intent of getting her sight back and only getting it back because Athena willingly gave hers up for being so noble. She is someone who is compatsionate, empathetic and noble. Not a kill happy warrior who loves fighting and blood. She fights because she has to, she does not hesitate and she does kill when needed.. but she is not some weird enigma to humanity. She’s throughly human despite being made of clay and not raised among regular humans. She’s a person, and Geoff just dosen’t get that. He get Superman, the flash, batman, other heroes just fine. He redefined aquaman well like I said. But for some damn reason he just dosen’t get Diana and can’t get a good grasp on her and while a good choice of co writer for practically any other dc movie and a good choice to right the ship for the dceu, he was the second possible worst choice to handle this character and likely is at least partially responsible for her character taking such a nosedive. By the way just in case you think better of him for only being second worst.. this is the worst.

Yes that actually happened.. thankfully not in the main canon and likely because Frank Miller really REALLY needs to get some help.

Point is he was a bad choice and while I still give Patty Jenkins some discredit for helping with this, I do feel Geoff easily could’ve agreed with or came up with some of the worse ideas here without really thinking them through because this simply isn’t a character he cares about what happens to her or knows that well. Things START fine: in present day we get a pretty fun action sequence in a mall with what my brother called Dollar Store Micheal Keaton.. but because Max was already perfectly cast, there wasn’t room for this screen legend. Plus he was probably busy shooting Morbius for.. whatever his role is there. I hope it’s the vulture. My point is DSMK is delightfully hammy and weird and helps kick up an already fun mall sequence.. while I was apparnetly the ONLY one who enjoyed this cheesy but awesome sequence in my family aside from my niece, she hadn’t rightfully checked out at this point, I still love it. It does bring up the slight problem of Diana being active years before... but given The Suicide Squad with it’s vast colorful cast of supervillians and the fact the freaking Justice Society are getting introdcued and given their gimmick even if WWII isn’t involed this time they had to have been active for some time before they presumibly vanished. My point is the whole Zack Snyder thing of “Metahumans are new and you should fear them” has been quitely retconned out and this will all likely be explained with the whole flashpoint thing... (Shudders).. not the retcon the DCEU needs a good coat of paint and unlike the XCU I dont think their going to waste a second chance, I just want a flash film that’s actually about barry and not another adaptation of a storyline few people liked ot start with. Point is that’s not really a huge issue and I prefer DIana being active than the implication she did nothing and her doing small bits of heroisim, like saving a woman from getting hit by a car or resucing pets and bigger ones like the mall just .. fell like Diana. It’s all downhill from there though. For starters there’s Barbra. It starts well: Diana is the only person to not only notice Barbra but treat her nice, and the two strike up a friendship.. which I honeslty wish was more as there was a lot of potetial there and both have great chemistry, not to mention showing Diana’s bisexuality on screen would be a really damn good move forward for representation, but that’s more on me and given how homophobic big companies can be, i’m unsuprised Warner wouldn’t let Patty take that route.

Point is it starts well enough.. but instead of the two actually having a deep freindship and possible relationship that is heartbreaking when it’s broken.. Diana just sort of forgets about her except when she needs her for the plot, and thus what should’ve been an emotionally breaking subplot leading to an utterly heartbreaking fight at the climax.. was just Diana being a dick, taking advantage of someone, and then getting a bit self righteous when the person you basically abandoned and didn’t notice made a wish till it was too late wants to keep the one thing that’s ever made her feel special.

It dosen’t help the comics did this whole thing better and is likely where Jenkins got the inspiration: During Rebirth Barbara Minvera was converted from a vicious ruthless bitch and a half, if still a brilliant character, to a tragic figure: one who while a bit cold and standofish, was genuinely diana’s friend, tricked into thinking she was abandoned, then became the bride of a horrifying god who punsiheed her for the “crime”.. of not being a virgin. While removing the whole cat god thing is understandable.. they removed pretty much everything that made that intresting and Rucka worked hard to make for a cliche “Nerd becomes evil” plot that’s been done a milion times nad makes dsiana look horrible. But while this is bad.. it PALES in comparisoin to the elephant in the room here.

No no elephant sweetie not wild pig. No.. it’s once Diana makes her wish on the magical wishing stone form the trickster god.. and brings steve back. See her bringing him back only for her to have to give him up to save the world.. that’s not bad. It’s a great way to bring chris pine back, ratchet up tension and ultimately give her proper closure for steve so she can move on. The problem.. is HOW steve comes back and how the movie handles that. Steve comes back.. by possesing some random guy. That itself is not a bad idea, as while it’s weird, A) I’m a weirdo and proud of it so i’mf ine with weird and B) it gives us a price to the wish like the other wishes: steve comes back.. but he has to take someone else’s life to do so. Diana has to sacrifice an innocent man she dosen’t know anything about in order to get her happy ending. That could’ve lead to some great drama, with Diana realizing how wrong this is and forcing herself to give him up with Steve’s blessing, as Steve would likewise not feel right about this. He could’ve had family or a girlfriend or something that were jeaporadzied if Diana kept Steve. The problem.. is they handled it horribly. really horribly. Diana and Steve.. almost NEVER mention the fact that he’s basically taken a life. They don’t ask if the guy is dead, they don’t ask who he was and they don’t try to find a way to get him a new body or a dying one or some other ghost can’t do it style shenanigan. And the fact i’m comparing this subplot to ghost can’t do it should tell you this is very bad. And it gets worse as the two have sex.. and whiel I dind’t think about it while watching the movie... afterwords? Yeah.. that’s.. that’s rape. The guy didn’t consent to letting them use his body. Now granted if Steve could leave the body at willand the guy was like “Sure why not” then that’d be fine.. but he has no way of consenting. Sure STEVE did.. but this ain’t his property. This isn’t his body to decide who he fucks. It’s random guy whose body he stole. Hell they didn’t even stop to consider if this guy might be gay which given Diana is bisexual makes no goddamn sense. So that’s another possible layer of wrong on this sundae of what the actual hell. I mean.. how do you bungle writing so bad your main character ends up as a rapist? That’s a special kind of incompetence in 2020 I tell you.

It just turns Diana from a kind noble woman who looks out for everyone.. into a creepy asshole who willingly sacrifices some guy she dosen’t know, something a well written Diana would NEVER do, to get what she wants. This is not diana prince. This is “out of the way sperm bank” levels of charactera assasination” and the fact steve has to talk her into letting him go just makes it worst. Diana here is selifhs, unsympathetic and terrible and it brings the whole film down despite Gal Godot’s best efforts to try and make this work. She fails.. but it’s not on her as an actress, she’s terrific, but on the writing for Diana being so bad. She just comes off as selfish and irredemible and i’ts horrifying to see. As one last note Steve is reduced to more of a cutout this time, so any possible emotinal weight not already destroyed by the rape is entirley missing. Just good god they did Diana dirty for this one. And it dosen’t help her villians.. are done much better. Speaking of..

Barbra: A Mixed Cat Out of a Mixed Bag As the title should make clear Barbra is kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand.. Kristin Wiig is fantastic. Like holy crap I had some small doubts about her being cast in the role but she nailed both the sweet put upon nerd at the start and the ruthless individual desperate to stay special at the end really well and the reason her scenes aren’t as draggy despite a lot being padding are Wiig just really sells the transformation, going from being giddy at a sudden influx of attention to feeling powerful.. to feeling dangerous and being deseprate to do whatever it takes to hold onto her power and being furious when she looses it. The problem is.. it’s all in the acting. Writing wise the story is horribly cliche. It’s why her having feelings for Diana was a suggestion that popped into my head: that’s actually intresting. A put upon nerd who envy’s a hero but ends up instead resenting them and wanting to kill them isn’t new. Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I thankfully haven’t seen but has that plot, Incredibles, and the one that the movie steals from the most.. Batman Returns. While wanting to kill the hero wasn’t part of that one, the whole “blonde whose still attractive even before the makeover has some supernatural thing happen to her and turns into an extrovert with a cat motif who is determined to take what she wants despite the cost.” While i’ts not 1 for 1, mostly becasue Catwoman actually had a romantic relationship with the hero, it’s REALLY hard to ignore just how much it seems to curb from Returns. And I haven’t even seen the movie the whole way through, just about half, really need to, not the point. Point is, it just feels like a rehash of a better done version of the plot. And the sad part is the comics GAVE Patty and Geoff two much better versions that could’ve followed the same path. Pre-Rebirth/Flashpoint, she was a ruthless woman from the getgo and simply could’ve been that, being friends with Diana.. but being too selfish and envious to truly let her in and thus relishing in her new power and showing off who she really was. The other, and better option for the narrative is the previously mentioned rebirth one: A sarcastic and hard but likeable woman who has had to scrape and claw to do what she loves, which is archelogy, despite her father being vastly against it because he’s a dick. Someone who through tragic misunderstanding becomes a tragic monster. That latter version would’ve fit in perfectly, having her like diana and just want to be her.. but a combination of her own inseucrites and the stone strip away her empathy and increase her jealousy and Diana neglecting her could’ve been a concious choice: Diana being too busy with steve and stopping max to see what was happening and thus be heartbroken to fight her true friend. Instead we just get.. catwoman but less good. Wiig tries her best and often succeeds but even she can’t really fix this. It also dosen’t help that selfishness aside.. Barbra is far more sympathetic. She’s contantly put upon and ignored by her cowowkres nad even her boss, who oftne forgets she works there, and finally meets someone who seems to care.. onlyf or that person to ignore her and go off and have adventures and really horribly implicated sex. So she wishes to be like this person, to be confident and loved and able to walk in heels and strong and gets it and slowly looses who she was to it. Hell the moment where she apparently CROSSES THE LINE by possibly killing some guy.. is entirely ruined by picking the wrong target. Instead of it being her boss or one of her co workers who mockeda nd humilated her.. i’ts the same guy who tried to assault her out for revenge. She’s beating up.. a bad person. She’s doing what Diana would do in a good way..

Sure she does take a turn for the evil, after hearing about the wishing stone destroying civilizations.. she sides with max.. but she’s still more sympathetic. Her resintment of Diana which should just be the meta commentary Jenkins intended on relationships between women where it becomes competitive due to societal bullshit, instead comes off justifed. Diana abandoned her, Diana is also being selfish with her wish, diana raped a man, Diana wants Max to stop.. but has to be TALKED into letting her wish go. While Diana is trying to save the world you can’t fault Barbra for not trusting her. For someone who preaches honesty, all Diana is to Barbra is a liar. While she does side with Max who earlier manipualted her by seducing her and stealing the stone... she KNOWS he’s not a great person, and this time instead of being the used, she’s the user. She knows he can make her even STRONGER, knows he can let her keep being who she wants to be if not BETTER, and knows he needs someone on his side.. and knows he won’t screw her over with her wish since he needs Diana off his back to become powerful enough to face her. Barbra comes off as cunning, manipulative and way more likeable than the hero, instead of the tragic villian she was inteded as. If nothing else, if she shows up in the sequel I will watch it even after this one was pretty damn bad and hopefully sh’ell be better written next time to match Wiig’s hard work. Now.. i’ve saved the best for last as while i’ve compalined a lot.. there is ONE aspect of the film that is genuinely good and while I get not everyone liked it.. Is urea s hell did

Maxwell Lord: Perdo Pascal Saves this film by eating the set whole like galactus.

Maxwell Lord.. is the best part of this movie. Easily. Unlike the other main characters, he’s written well, acted well if hammy as all hell, and is true to the comics. Part of this I freely admit is that when I heard Max was a villian here I expected none of his JLI version to survivie. I should explain.. in the comics Max is defined by two diffrent phases of how he was written; The first was in Giffen and Demattis run on justice league, which was more of an action comedy with emphasis on the comedy> There was still serious stuff and villians to face, it’s just our heroes were a bunch of likeable misfits and b-list heroes doing their best while cracking jokes and disfunctionally clashing with one another. It’s good stuff. Max was the heart of that: a selfish manipulative buisness man who grew to like the league and rebelled against the robot intellegence that got him that far, earning him a fair spot on the team. Sure he was a sleazy, shady 80′s buisness man, but he has a good heart underneath the opprotunsitic nature.

Come the run up to infinite crisis despite being a metahuman, he started irationally hating metahumans, claimed to have always hated them, and set up a vast conspriacty to kill em all. He also hyjacked superman, which lead to Wonder Woman being forced to snap his neck and being booed for it by superman despite the fact you know.. she was trying to stop him from killing batman and had no other cohice. The rest of the world got the clip out of context.. but even then she’d already killed months ago for the medusa thing I mentioned before, and despite Medusa only speeking ancient greek, the world, which tihs was broadcast too hence the danger of medusa killing trillions of viewers watching at home, they got the context that Wonder Woman was the good guy and was killing for good reason. It was just.. kind of stupid even if Rucka did his best with it is what i’m saying.

Point is there were two maxes: the sleazy and manipulative but well meaning buisness man and semi-con man and the manipulative but well intentioned master mind. So the movie.. combined both beautifully. He’s a manipulator as always, having set up a ponzi scheme and getitng called out on it by what turned out to be Simon Stagg.. who for some reason is the virtious if assholish buisness man here despite in the comcis being an utterly corrupt asshole constnatly ttrying to prevent his daughter from marrying this guy

This is Metamorpho, the element man, archelogist Rex Mason who thanks to the orb of Ra turned into this guy, an embodiment of the elments who can transmute his body into anything on the perodic table. Why HE hasn’t been in a movie yet his nemisis now has been is beyond me and there are better dc businessmen to have used.

Point is this Max is shady, ambitious and sleazy.. and badly failing his scheme falling around him. But his reason for wanting to be a rich, powerful man after growing up a poor immigrant.. is utterly symapthetic. He has a son in this adaptation and wants to make him proud. I’ts CLEARLY not his only motivation, he also just wants to be proud and the finale reveals hsi father was abusive, and his classmmates alienated him for being an immigrant. He has a chip on his shoulder due to having a rough life and just wanting his moment in the sun. It makes Max relatable: His actions are NOT okay but we get why he merges with the wishing stone: because this is his shot. And most of the people he fucks over with his wishes.. are bad people. he cons some good people sure but Stagg is an asshole and the prince he cons wants to kick foreigners out of his homeland. Max, like Barbra, while not a GOOD person still is more likeable than diana. He just.. feels like Max. He’s what Max could’ve been if he gave into the power instead of fighting against it. If he'd teamed up with the alien robot thing to take over the world instead of resiting it. So while he’s a bad guy like he’s been sadly turned into in the comics.. he feels like a CONVINCING version of Max as a bad guy. Like he genuinely turned evil of his own will and his own ambition.

It also helps he’s written compitently. Unlike Diana, whose entirely miswritten to a point NO amount of good acting and no amount of Gal Godot’s talents could save, and Barbra, whose great but only because her character had too little to be great but just enough to give Kristin Wiig room to work with Gal simply did not have. Seriously I feel terrible for Gal Godot, she’s a genuinely talented actress and a genuinely kind and great person whose a LOT like Diana herself when written properly. But Pedro Pascal? Since his character isn’t too badly written, and he has room to work.. he’s allowed to just be awesome. Since I haven’t watched the Mandolorian yet, I know, I KNOW, trust me.. I KNOWWW. But since I hadn’t this was my first proper exposure to Pedro Pascal..and his talent speaks for himself. In a weak movie, he is the shining star. He’s also hammy as shit, but it WORKS because the film is redicouls. The Wishin Rock plot line and Max merging with it.. it’s bonkers. But he has just the right mix of bonkers hammy acting that’s fun to watch, and actual character work in the ham. He’s eating the scenery hand over fist, utterly devouring it.. but it fits the character as while Max was more of a subtle ham, a guy who just radiated smug and who more got into histornics when things went tits up like the time Blue Beetle and Booster Gold took the JLU’s funds to build an island resort on an island that turned out to be sentient and didn’t like that much and yes, all of that happened and it was as funny as it sounds. Point is being a showman whose always on, always talking and always got a plan.. that’s Maxwell Fucking Lord, and Pascal’s over the top acting fits that kind of character like a glove.

It also fits the film well: the film comes off more like a 2000′s superhero film, one that takes itself super seriously.. but is really, REALLY goofy in places. It honest to god feels like one of the Sam rami spider-man films, ones I REALLY need to revisit and the results of that you’ll likely see, but without the self awarness rami had.. for the first two I mean by the third with the whole saturday night fever sequence, he’d really lost it. Love the guy though, still need to watch Army of Darkness and yes you may boo me. Point is the film is bonkers and cheesy and dosne’t realize it but Pascal does so he just.. has fun with it. His haminess when asking someone for a wish, his great ways of reversing those wishes so he benifits from the consequences, taking them off the board while furthring his own goals. Max is just.. awesome, and so is pascal. He got a life long fan in me from this performance. And of all people he took his inspriation from Nick Cage which is a perfect fit as Cage is fucking great at acting absolutely batshit while still acting his ass off. Pascal really deserves full credit for this film for more than just being lovingly over the top. He’s genuinely good.

And that shines through greatly in the climax. First off the final fight between Cheetah and Wonder Woman is awesome.. just one of the best superhero fights i’ve seen on film and i’ve seen some whoppers. Great back and forth, great coreography and brutal intensitiy the whole way through with Diana being forced to possibly kill Barbra despite not wanting to hurt her. Just a hell of one. But the real centerpice is the wish vortex. Pascal just drops all pretense and goes ultra instinct ham, just letting it all hang out as he ascneds to god hood... but how he’s beaten.. is easily the most brilliant part of the film and one of the few times Gal Godot genuinely gets to show off her talent in this one: Wonder Woman defeats the bad guy not with brute force, not that she can, or some cool fight.. though we did get the cool fight too so that’s nice.. she simply uses her head and her heart. She uses her head by taking advantage of the fact max is broadcasting to the world, as villians tend to, and giving his bogus offers to whoevers listneting. So Diana counters this.. by simply speakking from the heart, enrouging those watching not to give in and to renounce the wish.. so the consequences can be renounced too. Even if it’s hard, even if it costs you.. what your doing will cost others so much more. And she finsihses this by using the Lasso of Truth on max, making him tear down his delusions about himself and see that his actions, which have caused world war III by the way as he maniupated the president.. who for some reason was not Regan. While Regan was a bastard.. that’s exactly the reason I wanted hi mthere as this film would’ve been better had one of the parts of the climax been Diana fighting a 50 foot tall rouge ronald regan. Admit it you’d see that in theaters if it was safe to go.

POint is max sees he’s only HURTING his son, that this is for HIM not for his boy.. and that if he dosen’t let this power go, if he dosen’t just accept a peaceful life and let the world spin the way it’s supposed to and not emplode jus tso he can be a god... his son will be gone. So he gives it up and goes back to his boy in a touching moment. Though for some reason his son somehow got from Max’s office to the middle of a fucking highway. How is he not dead? I dunno we’re almost done here. Point is max is easily the highlight of the film and the reason it’s not ALL horrible along with Barbra. Final Thoughts: Wonder Woman 1984.. is a disapointment. What I thought would be an easy film of the year contender.. instead ended up being an ungodly mess with unfortunate implications, a messy slapped together plot and WAYYYYY too much filler. As I said it had it’ sbright spots especially max and barbra.. but hte ultimate product is WAYYYY less than Patty Jenkins is capable of and since a third film is apparently inevitible, I can only hope next time she learns from this and does better. Also get Pedro Pascal his own Justice League international series as Max’s grandson or something YESTERDAY. Seriously even people who didn’t like this film would love it and it’s not like he can’t do this between seasons of Mando. He did We Can Be Heroes for god’s sake.. which was somehow a better film than this one. I guess 2020 had to disapoint me one last time huh? Well we’re in a new year now... and hopefully the Suicide Squad won’t also be a huge diapointment. If you enjoyed this lnog rant on a movie from a week or two ago, follow me for more. I’m currently doing retrospectives on the life and times of scrooge mcduck, scott pilgrim, grant morrisons new x-men, and i’m soon going to finish up a Darkwing Duck one focusing on Just us Justice ducks. And once they come back this year I plan on reguarlly covering Ducktales, Loud House, Owl House, Amphibia, and Final Space. So keep an eye out for that and until then, Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye.

#wonder woman #wonder woman 1984 #pedro pascal #gal godot #kristin wiig #chris pine #diana prince #cheetah #barbra minerva #maxwell lord #justice league international #dc comics #dc extended universe #hbo max #patty jenkins #steve trevor

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dragonrebelrose · 4 years

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TROS Reaction 12-20-19. AKA my 6 page long dissertation about why I really disliked TROS.

I didn’t think it would be this bad. I truly thought there would be some gleaming moments of redeemability, but no. It’s one...giant...shit-show. What a horrible blow to the end of not only the sequel trilogy and these characters but to everything that came before. It really takes skill to mess up this badly.

A little something nice though, was the guy I sat next to. Really nice (and cute too ^-^ ) and he offered me some of his candy (Buncha Crunch! My favorite!) before the film started and then throughout the film because he said, “Well this is consolation for having to sit next to me.” Aw I couldn’t have asked for a better seat partner, I didn’t even know him! And then when the film ended he knew I didn’t take it well and I cried and shook through many moments and he offered the rest of his candy and I said, “Thanks, I think I need it.” I asked him what he thought overall and he said, “C-3P0 was pretty funny.” I said, “Yeah I agree. I actually knew everything that happened before I saw it, and I thought it was a mess.” He chuckled and said, “Me too, but I didn’t want to say anything in case you liked it.” I said, “Oh, no, I didn’t really like it. But I gotta be honest, Ben Solo didn’t deserve to die. That’s just my opinion.” I think he was surprised by that but didn’t disagree. He just kinda nodded or something and then we said goodbye and he left with his buddies, who also seemed pretty unenthused by the whole movie. Hopefully I gave him something to think about with my comment, but he was really nice and I’m glad he sat next to me.

Pessimism aside for now, I’ll start by listing the things I liked. I gotta be honest, there’s not much here.

Reylo is canon! But, in my opinion, it was handled pretty badly. Ben’s death is only the start of the problems for it, but more on that later.

C-3P0 is funny I guess. Yes he is annoying sometimes like usual, but not more so than other times.

D-O is freaking adorable. Out of everything good I’ve listed I have no qualms with this one. His manner is cute, his speaking is very funny, and his actions are just precious.

Babu Frik is very cute too, just perfect! Lovely little puppet! Don’t know why he was shoehorned in at the end battle but whatever. We never saw him again.

Maz is a puppet now? Okay, cool. Wish that would’ve been the case since the beginning. You had the technology JJ.

The music is good, when it’s given its own time to shine and be noticed. I feel like I barely noticed it was there because sound effects just drowned it out. Really wasted, but still good nonetheless.

Leia’s death and how it affected Ben. Wow. This was the first moment I truly cried. This was handled very well by Adam Driver, and then Maz saying “Goodbye, Princess.” Ouch, that got me.

Ben talking to the memory of his father! This is something I did not know was in the movie and boy am I glad I wasn’t spoiled for it! THIS is where the really hard tears and sobbing came. I was literally shaking and shivering trying to keep it in so as not to disturb everyone else. This. Part. Was. Perfect. Ben looks at him like he wants to say “I love you,” and Han says out loud “I know.” *crazy screaming and crying* Out of all the things they got wrong for Ben in this film, THIS they got right!

Ben Solo is the Solo boy we always wanted. Running in with a t-shirt, gun slinging, blasting opponents without even looking. THIS is a true son of Solo! But of course they give him no lines except “Ow.” THAT was a bad idea.

And that’s it. Yes those are the only things I even remotely liked, but I have to be honest, each one of these has some kind of problem attached to it which sours the real enjoyment.

On to what I disliked. Strap in lads, this is going to be a long ride.

1. The pacing. OH. MY. GOSH. SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN. For fucks sake I couldn’t even process what the hell was happening before we were on to the next thing! This was the biggest problem with the movie, BY FAR. Yes I know the story is terrible, we’ll get to that, but the pacing just completely took me out of the movie. I couldn’t feel invested in anything because it was all in one ear and out the other like ten-fold!

And this is part of the issue I have with how Reylo was handled. It. Felt. So. Rushed. And. Unfinished. There weren’t enough scenes with them and the scenes we did get were so fast and then over with that it felt like no progress was being made at all! It felt, for lack of a better word, unearned. And I know, that’s not really the case since they’ve had plenty of build-up in the last 2 films, but there wasn’t enough time with them spent NOT fighting and hating each other and opposing each other. Yes, I know, Kylo kept trying to get Rey to take his hand, but it doesn’t feel genuine because even Kylo feels out of character, and Rey too, big time. Now this isn’t the actor’s faults, they did what they could with the shitty story they were given, so I put all this blame at JJ’s desk.

In any case the overall film pacing was too fast, too much, too soon, too many things onscreen, too many things happening at once, not enough character, not enough motivation, not enough letting scenes breathe and just play out naturally. Everything felt forced for the sake of the “plot.” Oh we gotta get this thing, and then that thing, to get this thing, so we can defeat these guys! LET. US. BREATHE.

2. The story. My gosh, they couldn’t have picked a worse storyline to follow. Everything truly felt like it was written by a fanboy who wanted to retcon everything in TLJ, even down to the dialogue. Everyone keeps saying to Rey “You’re a Palpatine.” But it sounds SO strange, like nobody says things like this. I get it, it’s a space fantasy, they talk weird mumbo jumbo but it just sounds like a fanboy ghost wrote this. Like we gotta have everyone know now she’s a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! Palpatine heir! All bow down to the Palpatine! Give me a break.

3. Yeah, let’s talk about Palps. The old raisin himself. You know, I never really liked ROTS, but Palps was always a great thing about it. He was sinister, diabolical, he had a plan and knew what to do with it. But this Palps. *le heavy sigh* What a waste this was. For one thing, the lightning effects that lights up his face is really annoying, even for someone who doesn’t get seizures, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for those who do, I’m so sorry. And like, he has this whole legion of Sith followers? The fuck? Where the hell were these guys before? I’m sure they existed BEFORE the last Sith Lord died, right?

I digress. I have a question though: why does he want Rey so much? Why didn’t he try to get his son to take over? Wouldn’t that have been easier? Also, WHO DID HE FUCK TO GET A SON?? HOW DID HIS SON GET AWAY FROM HIM?? WHY DID HIS SON APPARENTLY TURN TO THE LIGHT?? THERE’S TOO MANY QUESTIONS HERE AND NO GOOD EXPLANATIONS. AND NO DISNEY, I DON’T WANT A 10-PART COMIC ON THIS. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

The only interesting thing about Palps in this film is that his face gets melted off like a Raiders of the Lost Ark knock-off. He better not be coming back. Ever again.

4. And hey, while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Rey’s parents. So apparently they’re both good people. *le sigh* But what kind of good people leave their daughter alone on a harsh and unforgiving planet with a blubber guy? And don’t tell me they didn’t know he was an abusive asshole, they LIVED on Jakku, they HAD to have known him, ESPECIALLY if they truly were junk traders, they would have DEALT with him. Oh, and apparently the “I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise” line is changed up a bit and given to her father after all. No. Screw that. That line was meant for Ben, I don’t care how petty this sounds, this is terrible. So yeah, fuck Rey’s parents, I don’t care how “good” you try to make their intentions, they’re badly shoehorned in and they screw up anyway. Next.

5. Ben’s story and his fate. So yeah, obviously I hate that Ben died, but more than that I hate how his story was handled here. It was so rushed, it didn’t feel as natural as it should have. It needed time to BREATHE. A lot of time! And I feel like they really shafted Kylo/Ben’s story off to the side to give more time to the hereby named GoldenTrio. (You know who I mean...we’ll get to them.) It really seemed like JJ didn’t even care about Ben’s fate anymore, and just kind of put it in as an afterthought. His death scene? Not even given a fucking minute to process because WE GOT TO PARTAY. All in all, his whole story is so terribly sad that I don’t even know if I can watch TFA or TLJ anymore, knowing how it ends.

6. The GoldenTrio. Oh for fucks sake, JJ, you should have killed Poe off when you had the chance, because now the story is all about THEM. Boom! They’re literally front and center in the movie. I don’t even think Reylo gets as much screen time as them. I mean really, Ben’s death scene and Rey’s grieving gets 1.5 minutes, tops. GoldenTrio reunion and threesome hugging? 5 fucking minutes of nothing but them hugging. I’m not even exaggerating. (Okay maybe I am, but it’s given more focus and time to “breathe” than Ben Solo’s fucking death. I’m getting a headache remembering it.)

Hey, remember in ESB and ROTJ where the trio got split up and had their own story lines and own purposes to fulfill without each other hanging around (apart from Han and Leia because their story lines are interconnected)? Yeah, I miss that too.

Also, Rey keeps wandering off being “pulled” to something, and every...single...time, Finn is like “Rey, wait! Poe we gotta get her! rEy CoMe BaCk!!” This happens at least 5 times, pretty consecutively too. It gets old real fast. Boy do I miss the days of TLJ where people got to be away from each other to discover new things without interference.

Which leads me to another point: They tried to shove FinnRey in here while shitting on FinnRose quite literally. What. A. Slap. To. The. Face. This is horrible treatment, and I hope Kelly will never do another interview for Lucasfilm again. She doesn’t deserve this.

7. The Ending™. Wow. What a way to show that your characters haven’t progressed at all by showing them in the same environment that they started in. Let’s do an overview: Rey starts out alone on a desert planet and meets a droid that isn’t hers. Rey ends up alone on a desert planet with a droid that still isn’t hers. PROGRESSION 101!! *slaps forehead* I mean, don’t even get me started on the fact that Ben isn’t there with her and that literally one half of her soul is gone (how is she not in agony right now??), but then to add more salt to the wound she’s just like “oh yeah I must be the rightful successor to the Skywalker name, even tho I’m a Palps...makes sense to me!” Fuck off. You don’t deserve that title after hating Luke for not doing what you wanted him to do and for hating Ben for most of this movie too.

Can we also acknowledge that this is THE ABSOLUTE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO END A 40 YEAR SAGA AND FAMILY LEGACY? So, Palps had a kid who had a kid. This kid is then deemed a-okay by the family that was affected most by Palps and they welcome her like the sunshine child she is, yet shun their own offspring for being damaged goods because he was being manipulated by said Palps. Okay, it’s official now, everyone’s an asshole...except Ben. He seemed to be the only one to understand his faults and right his wrongs and not be an idiot. Then the kid who was abused and manipulated is killed because “reasons” or “problematic” or whatever and the offspring of Palps lives while the family that Palps manipulated is ultimately gone forever because it’s last descendant wanted to save the offspring of Palps out of the goodness of his heart. Now the offspring of Palps doesn’t even give a flipping thank you and steals their name. wHaT a SaTiSfYiNg EnDiNg!!! Someone gag me.

8. Luke’s X-Wing being raised out of the water and it’s in perfect working condition. What. The. Fuck. I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this completely undermines Luke’s arc in TLJ. That X-Wing was sunk and dead to show that he had no desire to return to the outside world. He was staying on the island. For good. And he buried that thing in water to make sure he couldn’t use it ever again, but it was still visible to him to remind him of his conviction if ever he questioned it. But no. That thing is a-okay and ready to fly. No need for parts, there’s no rust or any sea salt corrosion, ready to go skipper! This was just added for easy call-backs to ESB but boy this had absolutely 0 weight to it. I literally yawned or looked at my watch around this part thinking “oh my gosh isn’t it over yet?” Pretty much sums up my entire experience.

9. Rose got shafted to appease the fanboys. This one needs no further explanation or analysis, it just sucks and has no real reason to exist.

10. Luke was barely in it and offered not that great advice. Poor Mark. His performance really peaked with TLJ and never went back up.

11. Rey is suddenly the Avatar now? You can now talk to all previous Jedi’s who existed? What buffoonery is this? Oh, but Ben doesn’t get a single. fucking. word. from Anakin, the man he looked up to. I’m so tired right now. What’s left?

12. The message changed from “it doesn’t matter if you’re a nobody, you’re a somebody to me” to “you’re a somebody with a bad bloodline, but that doesn’t define you (except when it totally does)”. That sort of message would be fine if it had been the message since TFA, but it wasn’t. The message since TFA was “I’m a nobody, but I can become a somebody regardless of my lineage or my childhood.” Why change the message in the 11th hour? To appease fanboys. Literally anything that makes no sense in this movie can be attributed to fanboys. There’s so much contradiction and hypocrisy in this film from both the narrative and the characters that it’s insulting.

13. Hux was utterly shafted too. What a waste of a well built up and conniving little bastard who in the end gets shot for shock value and laughs. It’s like what TLJ did but way worse because he’s actually killed. Hux as the spy? Just no.

14. Jannah was kind of wasted too, not enough screen time. I get her and Finn kind of bonding over being ex-stormtroopers, but it’s not really delved into. Also the whole “nature vs. machinery” thing kinda briefly shows up at the big battle and feels unearned too, because there was nothing before in this movie or others to suggest there was a war between the two.

15. Poe is treated more as the heir to Leia than Ben is. Poe gets to fly the falcon and gets to wreck it up (dishonoring who it belonged to before), gets to be by Leia’s deathbed, etc. Not earned at all.

16. The pointlessness of random cameos or thrown in references. Not a single person in my theater noticed John Williams as the bartender, nobody pointed out or said anything about any reference from previous movies, it was silent.

17. What the hell was even the point of the whole “Dark Rey” vision? Oh, she shows her scary pointy teeth ala Bilbo style. No thank you.

18. Why the hell does it feel like these characters aren’t the characters from TFA and TLJ? They feel so different and it’s noticeable.

19. Finn is Force sensitive. Literally tacked on like nobody wouldn’t notice. We noticed JJ. We notice everything.

20. Rey and Kylo/Ben fighting for way too much of the film and their interactions. Not enough caring or understanding, not enough longing looks, it feels like their romance was almost cut from the film entirely.

21. Oh yeah, Rey floating at the beginning? Looked stupid as hell. And the “Be with me” line? I thought maybe, just maybe, she meant Ben, but no. She’s trying to reach “her past selves” like the fucking Avatar and she’s even floating rocks around like Aang did. Ugh.

22. Anything else? Oh yeah, this movie sucks completely and wholly...FOR NOT GIVING ONE FUCKING LINE OF DIALOGUE TO BEN SOLO AFTER HE HAD BEEN REDEEMED. HOW HEARTLESS CAN YOU BE THAT YOU LET HIM DIE WITHOUT SAYING ONE FINAL THING?!?! DAMN J.J. YOU’RE STUPID.

And that’s it. Kudos if you read the whole thing. I ramble a lot.

#tros #the rise of skywalker #tros review #reylo #tros rant

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horansqueen · 4 years

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You & Me : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: last filler chapter. the next 3 chapters are all planned. this is the end omg im so sad! i love you guys so much for sticking to this story! thank you so so much! the others chapters will be separated in two so i can write each POVs :)

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : this is, i believe, the last request i’ll add to this story. thank you times a million to all of you who sent some! I received over 200 requests just for YOU&ME! you guys are incredible and i hope youll want to participate to my next story as much as you did for this one!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 47 : His chapter

NIALL

October 2018

Tour was finally over and we were back home. We had decided to get back to California for a while, if only to spend some time with friends and relax. I knew Olivia wanted to be around Louis and I just enjoyed being in LA for obvious reasons. Things had never been better between us but at least once a day, I could feel the ring I bought burning in my pocket or whispering to me from my underwear drawer. It always felt like the right time to get on one knee and ask her and at the same time, it also never felt like it was the perfect moment. I knew it was ridiculous because I was pretty sure she wanted to spend her life with me, but I was scared of being rejected, I was scared of what a 'no' would do to us and to our relationship. So many times, I had looked in her eyes and almost dropped down on one knee to ask her to be my wife, but I never did. I liked to believe I hadn't asked her yet because I knew she deserved something bigger than just me giving her a ring in a hotel room while we're waiting for our ride to the airport, but it was definitely not the biggest problem. I was just fucking scared and every time the words were about to come out of my mouth, I'd swallow them. I had no idea who I was trying to fool : Olivia was never the type to enjoy attention or extravagant things. She was reserved and private, pretty much like me, and I knew my proposal didn't have to be anything wild. It could be simple, and cheesy, and as long as I could find the right words, it would be perfect.

I heard the key in the lock and it took me out of my thoughts, pushing away my inner confusion. I waited until the door opened and she appeared, making my lips curl. She made a quick head movement but everything seemed to go on slow motion, like in a movie, and i watched her hair fly behind her shoulder. I was in it so deep I almost groaned and grimaced at how cheesy I was.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?"

I breathed in deeply, realizing I had completely stopped, and sent her a smile, licking my lips.

"Waiting for you like the loser I am." I half-joked before chuckling. "You were with Louis? How's he?"

She smiled at me and took a step closer, tilting her head. "First off, you're not a loser. You're cute. You're sweet. You're super endearing." she just said, staring at me fondly. Her expression changed and she glanced down, sucking on her bottom lip before putting her purse next to the couch. "I was not with... I didn't spend the night with Louis."

I frowned, waiting for her to continue and when her eyes met mine, I knew it was bad.

"I went to dinner with Dylan."

My lips parted and my heart jumped in my chest. I was never the jealous type and I was not about to start now, right? Then why did something seemed to stir in my stomach? Why was there a lump in my throat that had seemed to appear suddenly?

"No way, tell me you're kiddin'."

"Niall, please-"

"No, don't act like this is normal and that I'm stupid to be angry." i cut her, shaking my head. "I can't believe you spent all this time alone with Dylan."

She sighed again and sat on the couch, rubbing her hands on her eyes. I walked closer and dived my hands in my pockets, trying to remain calm but the truth was, I was hurt and I was not sure what all of this meant. All I knew was that I felt betrayed and I could barely believe we'd have to go through something like this again. This time, the roles seemed to be reversed but I didn't want this to break us.

"Obviously, you knew it was wrong since you purposely omitted to tell me." I continued, pressing my lips together to be sure I wouldn't let out a mean remark. "Why did you do that to me, Liv?"

It took her a few seconds but she finally got up very slowly, right in front of me. Her body was close, so close I could feel the warmth of it on my skin, but I just stared in her eyes, feeling my heart soften at the way she was looking at me.

"I don't love him, you know it." she expressed in a soft tone. "I don't love anyone but you. He's still my friend, and also my co-worker. I probably shouldn't have gone with him, especially not without telling you, but... I don't know, Niall."

I stared at her for what felt like an hour as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart and finally passed one of my hands in my hair and sat down on the couch. She turned around to face me but remained up as I shook my head.

"I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, and I do trust you." I let out carefully. "But Olivia, how would you feel if i came back here one night and told you I spent the evening with Heidi?"

I could feel her body tense near mine but I didn't look up at her. I waited and eventually, she sat next to me and reached for my hand on my thigh, squeezing my fingers with both her hands.

"I'd feel betrayed, and sad, and... and hurt." she admitted. "I'm sorry Niall, it was wrong of me."

I brought my other hand and placed it over hers, squeezing her hand and brushing my thumb on the top of it.

"If it can reassure you though, Dylan is seeing someone." she added, making me look up in her eyes. "A pretty blonde. Actress too. Not your type, obviously, but I think they really fit."

"Not my type?" I repeated in an amused tone, raising my eyebrows. "Says who?"

"Your dating history." she explained with a chuckle. "She's a small cute blonde and you like tall and sexy brunettes."

I pressed my lips together again and shook my head. "Naa, that's not true anymore." I just shrugged, making her frown. "I just like one sexy brunette."

She laughed and tilted her head. "You're crazy, I'm not sex-"

I cut her by pressing my palm against her mouth and raising my eyebrows, moving slightly closer. My eyes roamed on her again as something jumped in my stomach. I wanted to ask her to marry me at this exact moment. I wanted to tell her she was everything I needed in this life and that my heart was aching for her to become my wife. Instead, I breathed in and finally swallowed.

"Don't argue with me. You're sexy." I whispered before moving my hand away very slowly. "And I love you."

She licked her lips and the left corner of her lips raised up. "Your love is blinding you." she whispered, moving closer to brush her lips against mine. "But I appreciate it. I love you too."

She kissed me so gently that if I had closed my eyes, it would have felt unreal, and when she pulled away, I saw her facial expression change.

"I'm sorry, Niall. That won't ever happen again." she apologized gently in a soft tone.

"I know." I whispered before suddenly realizing something. "Hey, does that mean he broke up with Heidi?"

Her lips curled and she shrugged. "Yea, that's what he told me tonight. I feel a bit sorry for her, she's been through a lot in the past few weeks."

I stared at her for a few seconds, surprised by her words but at the same time a bit impressed. The fact that she could be empathetic even to people who were mean to her was something I appreciated. Of course, we hadn't been too kind to Heidi either and Liv was not wrong, she had been through a lot, even if it was not all on us and that she had put us through a lot too. Still, I felt my lips curl and she tilted her head before sighing as she turned her upper body my way.

"It's horrible what we all did to each other, don't you think?"

My traits softened and I nodded. "It is." I admitted in a low tone. "Let's just use this so we never do that again."

Her lips curled a bit and she licked them slowly as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her arms slithered around my neck and I sent her an amused smile.

"It won't ever happen again." she confessed, tilting her chin up. "I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you."

Her words made me chuckle and I raised my eyebrows, still looking at her, "Oh what a coincidence, I plan the same with you."

I brought one of my hands to her cheek before pressing my forehead against hers. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. It made me smile and gently, I rubbed my nose against hers, making her chuckle low.

"Shower?" I proposed in a low tone.

"Mm no, a bath. Together."

I laughed a bit but we ended up in the bathroom together as she filled the tub with warm water. I let my eyes roam on her as she got undressed, leaving her clothes on the cold tiles, and when her eyes met mine, she raised her eyebrows. The left corner of my lips raised up into a cheeky smile and she just shook her head but I took a step closer, placing my hands on her waist and making her smile too.

"Fifteen minutes without thinking about sex. Please." she asked, tilting her head and making me laugh.

"But you're just standing naked in front of me I mean..."

"Niall James Horan, you're not sixteen anymore, you can be around a naked girl without feeling the need to shag her, i'm sure!"

"Around any other girl, yea, but when it's you..." I let out, half-joking and making her roll her eyes.

"Come on, get naked too." she let out as she started working on my pants. I helped her take them off and before she could do it, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, letting fall on the pile of her clothing on the floor. "Alright, seeing you in your usual white boxers does something to me." she admitted, bringing her hand to my cock over my boxers and biting her bottom lip.

"Look who's all horny now." I laughed as she got on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, letting go of me and smiling against my mouth. "Come on, get in the tub."

After a few minutes, I was sitting in the tub, legs spread, and she was sitting between them, her back leaned against my chest. I didn't remember us ever doing that before but I enjoyed it a lot more that I thought I would. We started talking and laughing together and it was exactly like when we were younger and we'd spend all night talking together. Well, almost : the younger versions of us were definitely not naked.

"I can't believe we're dating again." she let out after a while as her thumb brushed gently on my arm. "If someone had told me that a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Who would have thought?"

"Me." I replied before she moved slightly to look at me. "I mean, I wrote 'you and me' about that. I knew we were meant to be, and I've always known I wanted to spend my life with you."

I knew this discussion could go wrong but I had to be honest about all of this.

"I could have refused, you know. I could have been over you by then." she argued calmly. "I thought I was. But then you appeared with that stupid gorgeous mug of yours, that fucking insane smile and those ridiculously incredible eyes..." She shook her head. "I had no chance to win that fight."

I let out a loud laugh and she tilted her head to reach my chin with her lips, leaving a small kiss on my skin.

"When I found out you were getting married... I started doubting everything." I admitted, looking down at my hand moving slowly to bring warm water on her skin after seeing her shiver. "I thought maybe it was too late. But I couldn't seem to give up."

We remained silent for a while until she grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers tight. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too." I whispered. "And I feel so lucky that you gave me an other chance."

Once again, she turned around slightly but this time, I moved my chin down to kiss her lips.

"We don't even have an anniversary date." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Of course we do! It's April 16th of this year."

I felt my heart jump at my words and held my breath. April 16th was the day I bought that promise ring for her in Paris. It was when I decided that I wanted to marry her and that I would ask her to be my wife. Since that day, I had almost asked her so many times I couldn't count anymore. I hadn't dropped on one knee yet but I knew that I would at some point, and April 16th was the day I realized that. Some days I would bring the ring with me in my pocket, some other days it would stay in one of the drawers in our room, but it was always in the back of my mind. I obviously couldn't tell her that and when she turned around an other time to frown at me, I suddenly remembered something she had said.

"Y-Yea, I mean you don't remember?" I stammered. "There was an article about that earring you gave me and you said that you didn't care that people knew we were together."

We had also mentioned not being official the day after, I remembered that too. but I decided not to mention it. I was pretty sure she had mentioned that we were together but I was also aware it was probably just a bad choice of words. She was right, we didn't have an anniversary date, but I hoped that it would become that date if only because it was a big day for me and I hoped it would become a big day for her, too.

"I don't remember, but I trust you." she just shrugged before her lips curled. "Alright, April 16th, then."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and I kissed her gently but firmly again, making her chuckle against my mouth. I could have spent the whole night with her body pressed on me as we chilled in hot water but after a while, we got out, dried ourselves and got back to our room to put on pajamas.

"I'll make us some tea." she proposed as we walked back to the living room and she finally disappeared in the kitchen.

I sat on the couch and started looking for the remote on the coffee table. I was about to give up when something caught my eyes and I grabbed her notebook. It was similar to mine but of a different color and I knew she wrote ideas for her tv show or her future book in it. I was about to ignore it when I realized it was open and I could have sworn I had seen my surname. Without thinking, I grabbed it and a smile appeared quickly on my face when I saw 'Olivia Horan' scribbled everywhere on a page, surrounded by hearts and stars. It seemed like she had tried to create a signature with her future name and it made me think about the ring in my drawer. If I was scared she wouldn't accept, that notebook was a good clue that her answer would probably be positive. I put it away when I heard noise and leaned against the couch as I watched her walk slowly up to me to make sure she wouldn't spill our hot beverages and I thanked her as I grabbed a mug. She sat next to me and our eyes met before our lips curled. I couldn't believe how happy I was.

"I love you, Niall. I'm... I'm glad we're dating now." she admitted before taking a sip.

"Me too, petal. I'm happy you accepted to be my girlfriend again."

---

December 2018

When Liv told me she was spending the day with Julia, I was a bit surprised, but the truth was, I enjoyed the fact that these two got along so well. She said she wouldn't be home late but I knew how she could get and when Louis proposed that we grabbed a bite (and a few pints, of course) together, I jumped on the occasion.

I knew Louis had become Olivia's best friend and even if we used to be very close, I was fine with that. Somehow, they had been through a lot together, and I knew it was partially my fault : they probably wouldn't be that close if I hadn't broken up with Liv. Of course, they'd still be friends, since they were before we broke up, but I knew their pain brought them closer and it was obvious that nothing could tear them apart now.

I was also slowly but surely getting over the fact that Louis and her had sex a few times. I was not sure how often but I was sure I didn't want to know and anyway, i couldn't blame her or him. It had happened and I had to live with that fact. Besides, I knew there was nothing between them anymore.

I smiled when I saw Louis walk in the restaurant and got up to hug him before we both sat back down. We ordered beer and when we got them, we clinked our glasses together and drank half of it. It was weird to think I was with Olivia's best friend and she was actually hanging out with mine, but the fact that we appreciated each other's entourage was perfect.

"So, Neil, how are things for you?" he asked, playing with his beer and turning it around in his hands. "Where's my queen tonight?"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, amused. "Your queen is with Julia, but she's not supposed to come back home too late. She'll text me. Where's El?"

"Gone for a few days."

"Ah. That's why you called me." I pointed out before laughing when I saw his face. "It's ok Tommo, I get it."

"I'm thinking you're ding quite well these days." he pointed out, ignoring my last comment. "When are you gonna pop the question?"

I almost choked on my beer and wiped my mouth on my shoulder before swallowing hard and making Louis laugh.

"We've just been taking bets on that." he continued, shrugging a shoulder.

"We?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Liam and I. Trying to bring Harry in it but he says it's none of our business."

"I've always thought Harry was the smartest of my bandmates." I joked, making Louis laugh again.

"Oh yea, you definitely thought that when he was balls deep in your best friend's fanny right?"

"Shut up, Tommo!" I frowned as he laughed again. "He probably shagged her less times than you did."

Louis took an other big sip of his drink. "Touché." he shrugged again before chuckling. "Not sure what it says about the relationship they had, though."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and drank what was left of my beer. I didn't really want to have this discussion and I decided to change the subject.

"Well, I don't know which bet you took, but I hope you lose." I admitted as I looked through my pocket, taking out the ring and placing it right in the middle of the table.

Louis' eyes got bigger and he moved closer, bending down to look it it without daring to touch it. I stopped the waitress to order us two other beers and a few shots and when I turned back to my friend. he was still staring at the ring like he didn't know what it was. I snatched it quickly, taking him out of his thoughts, and put it in my little finger to stare at it.

"I've thought about asking her so many times." I confessed, my eyes still on the ring. "But it never feels like the right time."

"I know you're a romantic man, Niall but... will there ever be a right time?" Louis said gently, making me sigh. "Aren't you just a bit scared that she'll say no and leave?"

I groaned and closed my eyes before raising my nose up in a grimace again. "Maybe."

He was right, I knew it, but at the same time, i wanted to make it special for her. I wanted it to be something that she'd remember forever, something she couldn't forget even if she tried. I wanted to express my feelings to her and tell her everything she wanted and needed to hear, just to make her happy. I had tried to write down the right words but everything seemed cliché and cheesy.

"Do it. She's your soulmate. I can't make up a scenario in my head where she'd actually say 'no'." he continued. "I think deep down, you know I'm right."

I looked up and sighed again, putting the ring back in my pocket.

"I don't know anymore, I just don't want to take her for granted, you know?" I shrugged. "I've done that before and it messed up everything. Never again."

"That doesn't mean you can't be confident and believe in the love she has for you."

I frowned a bit as I stared at him. "Are you trying to win your bet against Liam by making me ask Olivia to marry me?"

"No." Louis chuckled, leaning against his chair. "I just think you've been hesitant for too long. When exactly did you buy this ring?"

"Mm, well, about, 8 months ago?"

Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous. Had I been waiting that long? It was almost pathetic. How scared of rejection could a guy be? Seriously. I had never reacted like that in anything I did before, and I was always the confident type, but asking Olivia to marry me was something that made me so nervous I could feel my hands sweat and I passed one of them in my hair.

"8 months? Are you fucking insane? How did you manage to keep that secret?"

"I don't even know." I mumbled in a low tone, staring at my glass, not daring to check Louis' amused expression.

"Niall, we're talking about Olivia. The girl you've known all your life, the girl who's been in love with you since the very first day she found out what love was. Put your big boy pants on and pop the fucking question before that fucking ring starts to get rusty!"

"It's made of gold...."

He rolled his eyes and kicked me under the table, making me groan again as I moved my leg away. Damn, that kid could kick.

"Don't be a fookin' idiot, mate, and just ask her."

I finally looked up in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows at me. He was right but at the same time, I didn't know when I should do it. I wanted to do something special, or at least slightly romantic, but all I could think about were ugly clichés from movies. Nothing original came to mind and it was driving me insane.

"Alright. Soon." I gave in. "I'll do it soon."

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