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#one day ill be able to think clearly again. one day.
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"Things in the Dark"
Ominous
indeed!
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cheswirls · 9 months
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have not touched this au since november but I keep going back to read it this week and these same four snippets always get me
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#writing#op#i rly did brief notes + like 5k of prose in ~10 days then never touched this au again#*for now!!!!! ill go back to it one day i mean i clearly love it lots#(should b able to click on the 3rd one to expand it)#i am mobile posting rn so hopefully these arent super bad quality#think doubling them will keep them regular sized but we will seeeeeeee#aaaaaa i think i rly jus needed super sweet soft sa content catered to me#i tried writing smth for them last night but i got too caught up in trying to write#all the little scenes ive been thinking abt all week that have faded from memory#instead of anything i actually wanted to write in the moment (nothing my head was v empty) so iunno if its any good#its not sweet enough so i havent gone back to reread it yet#hmmmmmm idk smth abt rly simple domestic sa will always be my bread and butter#this au is like that in essence jus w a plot going on in the bg (:#i rly like what i had tho... ace growing up w ray and shakky.. them semi-formally adopting aisa while s&a are at uni so she's#ace's niece but calls him acey-nii-chan bc they live together now n thats what their relationship has morphed into#sabo still having horrible parents hes estranged from and basically being considered ray&shakky's unofficial third child which#is why its so impt that someone is his legal next-of-kin so if smth happens he can be looked after properly#which leads to (ahem) This™#anyway i had sm fun setting up the family dynamics in this one#it rly took making this to get me to realize ive never had roger+rouge be like... present parental figures to ace in anything ive written#(hehe i say this but i tried my hand at jus that earlier in the night. /still/ dunno if its any good and i stopped short but!! will see ig)
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corpsegold · 1 year
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Typing that out has had me panicking and freaking out sweating for the past few hours. I've been miming to myself and rehearsing talking to the woman about it and the only way I can describe how overwhelming and intense this feels is that it's like when I came out to my mum. What the fuck does THAT say
#i feel like throwing up#like anger mixed with shame mixed with a very strange relief mixed with a lots of hating myself and being exhausted#jesus christ its like hard to think about#to be honest i convince myself i have a new mental illness every few months this is probably just the next in a long series#ive had this realization several times over the years but i normally block it out and it makes a huge mood drop#talking to the alcohol guy and this woman and what the p.doc said where theyve been questioning my usual excuses or reasons i tell myself#has got me thinking about it again and this time my mood is clearer and ive typed it out rather than passed out and reading it back is#extremely fucking exhausting#it literally feels like coming out to my mum#what the actual f u c k#bro this is too much#jesus christ#its fine its probably just traits lol like its not the end of the world im literally fine#it literally cant be bad if i can see it#maybe its not true at all like im just completely wrong about this or im missing something or not understanding myself clearly#i need to feel like i can live the life i want one day otherwise i dont know how im gonna cope lmao#im tired of grieving for a person i never was#i cant cope with the idea that i might never get to be that person#ive been too scared to try on my own and if people cant teach me how to try or tell me I'll likely never be able to have normal relatnships#and be liked and secure and feel proud of myself and stop disappointing my parents#oh my god#anyway#just got a notif from the abstinence counting app it says#continuous effort is the key to unlocking our true potential#ig mb thats cool#whatever
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anadiasmount · 1 month
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we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…
wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍
“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.
that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.
"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.
"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.
"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?
you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.
you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.
the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.
your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.
you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.
after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.
you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.
he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.
"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.
"how was training?"
jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."
you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.
"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"
"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.
"jude."
"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."
jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"
"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.
in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."
jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.
jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"
"well i beg to differ-"
"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"
jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"
"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.
"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.
"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?
the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.
as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.
as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.
"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.
"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.
"thank you."
"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.
you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.
you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?
you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.
when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.
jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.
he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.
when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.
"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."
jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.
"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.
"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"
"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."
"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.
"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."
after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.
"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."
after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.
"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.
"jude right?"
"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."
hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."
"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.
when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.
the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.
"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.
jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.
jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.
like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.
it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?
all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.
“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”
“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.
“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”
jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.
"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."
"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."
"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.
"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.
jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.
jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.
"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."
"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"
your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"
"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."
"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.
"what's your promise jude?"
"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."
"jude-"
"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.
you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.
"you love me jude?"
"more than what you think."
"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.
"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."
jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.
"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."
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bucketsofmonsters · 2 years
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In the Name of Science
cw: voyeurism, mutual masturbation, vaginal penetration, non human genitalia, knotting, size difference, fainting, chronic illness, implied animal death, medical abuse of the monsters
male werewolf x afab reader
word count: 9k
“Have you lost it? Absolutely not!” You snapped at the three scientists in front of you, the anger evident in your voice. 
“You will have complete privacy and it’s not like we’re asking you to sleep with him…” 
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Yeah, I certainly hope not! This is so absurd, I cannot believe you’re asking me this.”
You went to storm out of the room when one of the scientists who had sat you down to very gently talk to you grabbed your arm. “Listen, you are the only one he responds to. We wouldn’t ask you this if there was any other way to do it, if we want to study his reproductive system...”
“No! It’s invasive and weird and I’m not doing it! You put him through enough as it is.”
That seemed to spark their interest. “Hold on, are you saying no for his comfort or yours?”
That was a question you weren’t prepared to get into, at least not with three scientists. “It doesn’t matter. Anyways, I have shit to do, can I go now?”
They didn’t want to drop the matter but you were clearly not changing your mind so they let you storm out and go about your day. 
You weren’t a scientist. Your job leaned closer to zoo keeper. Someone had to take care of all the monsters that were being studied here and the scientists certainly weren’t doing it. 
They weren’t entirely wrong. Most of the creatures here responded better to you than anyone else but in all fairness, you were the one who was feeding them and talking to them, everyone else they saw on a regular basis spent most of their time poking at them and doing tests on them, of course they liked you the most. 
With many of your monsters you were friends. You had developed truces of varying strengths with most of them and at the very least, you attempted to understand them. That’s more than most of the people who worked here could say. 
They were all sentient, most to human levels, they deserved more respect than just being experiments and you seemed the only one inclined to give them that level of dignity. 
Sometimes subjects would mysteriously drop off of your roster, nowhere to be seen. A few weeks later their room would be filled once more. You always prayed they couldn't sense that they weren't the first to live there, that creatures here didn't tend to have particularly long shelf lives. They were going through enough without that fear in them. The most you could do was give them all the dignity and companionship you could. You tried not to think about it too much but it haunted you all the same.
You had a favorite. Everyone knew it, him included. All he had was a number, subject 251. You would never call him that, call any of the subjects by their numbers. You opted instead for pet names and terms of endearment, which none of them seemed to mind. 
This one in particular, subject 251, had taken a clear interest in you. That was how they saw it, a sudden and unexplainable attachment to you. You could have told them otherwise if they ever bothered to ask. But that was most of the problem you supposed, they never did. 
He’d been an issue when you’d first arrived, the one monster you were warned about over and over again. ‘Be careful with 251.’ The idea of letting anyone get near him was so far from anyone’s minds. You were the newbie so you were given him on your roster. 
You understood it. You too would be difficult if you were imprisoned and studied. 
You’d given him what you could in terms of privacy and respect. You never tried to push, gave him as much autonomy as you were able to, despite him being a prisoner here. You spoke to him like a person, not an inconvenience or a rabid animal. 
Most importantly, when he got angry or lashed out, none of that changed. Human decency was never something he had to earn, no matter how many times he threatened to slash your throat open.
Eventually, he started to talk back. At first you just thought it was because he was lonely, of course he would be when he was stuck in a room by himself, day in and day out. But after a while, it became clear that it wasn’t conversation just for the sake of it. 
When more newbies came you refused to give him up, making as much space for him in your day as you could. You knew that he noticed the way you were staying longer and longer but he never called you on it. In fact, one day he asked you to stay. 
After that you were inseparable. His attitude hadn’t shifted with anyone else but with you he was perfect. That became a bargaining chip, both of you swearing he’d behave better if you were allowed to give him his food in person, if you were allowed to stay longer, if he could have some little things to make his life easier. 
The two of you had formed an alliance and more importantly, a friendship. 
A few months ago you’d taken a vacation for a week and had been immediately called back because he’d become unmanageable. From what you’d heard, he almost ripped his temporary handler in half and managed to get halfway out of the facility before they were able to neutralize him.
When you came back you tried to explain to him that he couldn’t be doing this, that sometimes you might leave for a while and he needed to not massacre the staff. He was virulently against it, telling you he needed to keep his eye on you, to make sure you were okay. 
No amount of reassurance stopped this instinct and just like that, you became vital personel. In his frenzy to get you back he gave you something else, job security. 
That was why you could tell those scientist in no unclear terms to go fuck themseleves. But then again, your relationship with him was the reason they asked you about it at all. 
You shook your head, trying to forget your discussion with them. You were glad you were there to shut them down, to be able to provide even a modicum of privacy to at least one of your creatures. 
As you pushed the interaction out of your mind in favor of starting your day, you noticed someone you’d never seen before. She was a new keeper, one like yourself. You’d asked to be able to vet new employees but you’d been denied. Despite becoming vital personel, they still didn’t take you seriously. 
She seemed nervous but in all fairness to her, it was probably her first day. Most people were a little on edge on the first day on any job, let alone one where you were caring for restless, angry creatures that could kill you in a heartbeat. 
You gave her a wave before you picked up the big, metal box off the table, shifting it towards the metal door it was destined for. 
“Hiya, what’s your name?” you called as you heaved the box over. Surely there was a less heavy mechanism you could use to deliver dinner, you’d have to pester the scientists about that when you got the chance. Everything in solid metal seemed like a great idea when you were planning but they didn’t have the carry the things. 
“Sam,” she said, hurrying over to help you carry the box the last couple of feet before you both dropped it on the floor. 
The second it touched the ground, something from inside rammed into the door, sending a crash echoing through the hall. As soon as Sam heard the noise she screamed and went running. 
She wouldn’t last a week. The easily spooked ones never did. 
This was why you wanted to help with finding new keepers. They never prepared them right, never asked the right questions. People got in with promises that they loved animals and that they were ever so caring as if that was in any way relevant. 
What you really needed was to be good with people, really weird nonhuman people, and be very good at conflict resolution. You weren’t caring for lions and zebras, these were intelligent, terrifying creatures. It was hard to know exactly what kind of person would thrive here but it was easy to tell who wouldn’t be able to last. 
You banged back on the door as you turned from the hallway Sam had gone running down. “Behave or you're not getting lunch,” you called through the wall and you hoped they’d understand.
You slid the metal box right up to the hatch at the bottom of the door, hooking them together so the room was still airtight, and slid the door of the trap upwards. 
The faint sound of a bunny hopping across metal floors hit your ears and you shut both panels, unhooking the box and carrying it away as the creature was left to hunt.  
That was mainly what you did, feed them with no contact allowed. They wouldn’t let you inside most of their rooms, you had to fight for the few that you did get to see. For most, you were lucky if you got to see them through a window. 
Your favorite part of the day came last. It didn't previously but you’d had to push it to the end of the day lately because you were never sure when you’d be able to leave. He always tried to convince you to stay just a little longer and you rarely had the heart to shut him down, at least not the first time he asked. 
Eventually you did always have to leave. You couldn’t stay in the sterile, white room lined with metal forever. 
Before the decontamination chamber, there was a big observation room you had to pass through with a window facing into his cell and you could never quite help the massive smile that plastered itself across your face every day when you first laid eyes on him through the glass. 
All of the blankets and pillows they’d given him were scrunched up in the corner, a little pile he was often laying on when you came in. Not today though. Today he was waiting by the door and as soon as he spotted you through that window his tail began to wag furiously.
You couldn’t help but giggle, eagerly running through the decontamination room so you could see him. 
When you first laid eyes on him on your very first shift, you’d thought he was a werewolf. Most of the creatures here were hard to understand but a few were familiar concepts, things you’d seen the likes of before in movies. 
The scientists had scoffed at you, told you he was nothing like a werewolf, he didn’t even have a human form. You still thought the comparison was apt.
He was undeniably wolf-like, covered in silver fur, with pointy ears and a muzzle and a big fluffy tail. There was something undeniably human about him too. He stood on two legs and spoke like a person and there was something in his eyes that felt so familiar. 
“Hey buddy, how’re you doing?” you asked as you entered the room and were finally able to properly set eyes on that familiar face. 
He couldn’t get too close. You both knew he couldn't or, despite the massive fit he would inevitably throw, they wouldn’t let you come back. You could see him holding himself back every time you came near him, clearly wanting to smother you in affection. 
He responded quickly, eager to check in with you. “I’m fine. How are you feeling? Are you alright?”
No matter how many times you told him that you were fine he was always worried. 
You brushed him off with a gentle, “I’m alright, like I always am,” while carrying his dinner in. 
He mostly ate meat, although he was alright with not eating live animals, unlike many of the other creatures here. That was why you’d been allowed in here at all. No matter how well they got along with you, you were never allowed in the room with any of the active hunters. 
It was probably for the best. At least that way they wouldn’t bond with you the way this one had. 
You dropped the tray of raw steaks near his pile of blankets, his eyes tracking you as you moved. His head lifted and he sniffed the air. 
“Still gotta take care of the others, bud,” you said, preempting the inevitable comment you knew he was going to make about your scent. 
He grumbled. You knew he didn’t like it, them getting near you, the way he could smell the others on you, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. No matter how many times you decontaminated yourself, he always seemed to be able to smell it. 
He dropped the issue, though you could tell he didn’t want to. Instead, his head fell to the side and he asked, “Are you upset about something?”
You were never sure how he managed to read you so well. He kept telling you it was because you were bonded but you weren’t certain what that meant. He didn’t seem capable of explaining it to you. The concept was just second nature to him and you couldn’t ask any of the scientists about it. Perhaps more accurately, you wouldn’t ask the scientists about it. You weren’t sure if they knew themselves and you’d die before giving them any more information than they already had. 
“Did my scent tell you that?” you asked with a smile, trying to brush past it.
He was undeterred. “Did they do something to you?”
You waved off his concerns. “No, don’t worry about it, they just wanted me to do something weird and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What?”
You had no clue how to explain it to him. 
You attempted to put it as tactfully as you possibly could. “They wanted me to… stimulate you. Just visually, I think, from the observation room. They want to study your reproductive system and they think that’s the best way to go about it for whatever reason. It’s super weird, I obviously said no so you don’t need to worry about it.” 
“Stimulate me?”
“Like, touch myself or something. I don’t know, I didn’t give them the time of day so I’m a little foggy on the details. Not that it matters, it’s creepy either way.”
“They made you uncomfortable?” You could see him getting angrier. 
“No! I meant creepy towards you! It’s invasive. I wouldn’t mind but I’m not the one being observed and documented.” That came out wrong. “Not that I wouldn’t mind!” you quickly added defensively. “That’s not what I meant! Just that I’m not the one who should be made uncomfortable by all this, you know?”
He seemed confused by your words, trying to parse their meaning. You couldn’t blame him, you’d turned into a bit of a mess for a while there. After a long deliberation he finally responded, “I don’t mind either.”
“What?”
“I’m observed either way, this way I get to see you.”
He’d always been direct but this was a bit much, even for him. “Are you saying you want me to do it?”
“Are you uncomfortable?”
“Not really.” Feeling a little shy right now, maybe, but you certainly weren’t uncomfortable. 
“Then I want you to do it.”
You weren’t sure what to make of that. You had his permission now, so it was all on you. If you did do it, you certainly wouldn’t be doing it to help out the scientists. So why would you be doing it? Because he wanted you to? Or maybe you felt a tug towards saying yes for more selfish reasons. 
“Your face is getting hot,” he noted, ever so helpful. 
“Yup, that it is. Well, this has been a fun meeting, I will see you tomorrow bud.”
Now he was upset. “You just got here.”
“I’ll stay extra long tomorrow,” you promised. “I just got a headache and I need to go lie down for a while, I’ll see you later.”
You hadn’t completely been lying. You did have a headache, although that was more the norm these days. 
You’d started to feel sick more and more frequently. You were convinced it was this place, with all the creatures and substances here that you knew little to nothing about. Being here so often couldn’t be good for you. You had no other explanation for why you felt so woozy all the time, why you couldn’t quite shake these headaches, why your legs sometimes just gave out on you. 
Before you headed home and took a well earned painkiller, you stopped by one of the control rooms that always had a scientist or two milling around inside.
You poked your head in the door and just said, “I’ll do it,” not staying to witness the aftermath. 
The next day you were a bundle of nerves. You probably looked like Sam had the day before. You felt like you were floating through your duties, thinking about the end of the day. That morning you’d been pulled aside by the same three scientists and told that today you’d have to slide subject 251’s meal under the door and then you were to stimulate him as best you could from behind the glass. 
They’d reassured you dozens of times that there would be no record of your activities. Subject 251 got no such reassurances.
He lit up as he usually did the second he saw you but instead of decontaminating yourself and stepping inside, you slid the plate under the door. 
“I can’t come in today,” you said as you walked up to the window, cursing the upset written all over his face. 
“Why?” He searched your face, trying to understand. It didn’t take long before it clicked. “Oh. I won’t get near you, I know I’m not allowed to. Or hurt you, if that’s what they’re worried about.”
“I know you won’t, they just don’t trust you when your hormone levels are high. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“So you decided to do it?”
“As long as you're alright with it, I couldn’t see why not.”
You probably should have. Somewhere in you you were aware that most people would see why not, that this would be an insane decision. But the only barrier in your way had been his comfort and he seemed more than comfortable with the idea. 
As much as you knew he was the one being investigated, you could help but feel like you were being studied under his unblinking gaze. His eyes refused to move anywhere else, content to just stare at you through the glass as you tried to figure out how to proceed. 
You were the one to break the silence. “I’m not really sure how to do this, there isn’t exactly a manual for this sort of thing.”
“What do they want your goal to be?” he prompted you. 
“To arouse you.” Those three words were the gist of it, despite the lengthy, boring mission statements you’d been given that morning. 
“And what is your goal?”
That one was harder to answer. Maybe you should start writing mission statements for yourself as well. “I’m not sure.”
“But you’re here.”
And so you were. 
“What do you want me to do?” Your chest felt tight as you asked, like you couldn’t quite manage to get enough oxygen. You’d meant the question genuinely but it felt like it came out sounding suggestive. 
“Can I see you?”
You understood what he meant but you paused anyways. You didn’t know what you were waiting for, you’d made your decision the second you said you’d be here and yet, you still hesitated. 
You checked the room for cameras again, making sure there were none. You knew there weren’t any and it honestly felt like you were stalling, trying to give yourself more time to think. Not that you could think properly right now.
He didn’t have the same luxury of knowing that he wasn’t being watched. The cameras pointed away from the window, positioned tactically so they didn’t look through but he was being fully captured, no matter where he stood.
Once you’d taken your moment and given yourself time to think that you hadn’t used, there was nothing left to do. As you started to get undressed, you rushed to take your clothes off. Anything slower felt like teasing and that was the last thing you wanted. You looked back to him when you’d finished pulling them off, not sure what for. You know exactly what he wanted to see next but you wanted to hear him say it.
His eyes roamed over you, they couldn’t seem to get enough, darting across your body. 
You felt incredibly warm, despite your lack of clothes and the cold environment. 
He was much closer to the glass now, practically pressed against it. You could tell exactly how slow and belabored his breathing was as it fogged the glass in front of you. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at the sight, him peering through the newly frosted glass.
His head cocked to the side at the sound. “Are you having fun torturing me?” he asked, his tone playful.
“I’m not torturing you,” you insisted. “You’re the one who wanted me to do this.”
“I said I want to see you.”
You hopped up on a chair, spreading your legs for him as you did. You knew he could see exactly how wet you were.
It was almost embarrassing, all you'd done was strip for him and you were already soaking.
Your onlooker didn’t seem to agree with that assessment, instead pressing up even closer to the glass, pawing at it. 
You’d believed him when he said that if you were in there with him he wouldn’t touch you but you didn’t appreciate until now just how hard that probably would have been for him. Maybe the window separating you was a small mercy, although it certainly didn’t feel like that as you dipped your hand slowly down, becoming more comfortable with putting on a show for him, until you reached your center and pressed your fingers inside yourself. 
You could see his nostrils flaring, wanting to be able to smell you but unable to. 
The tip of his cock poked through his fur. That’s what they’d wanted to see, you supposed the scientists would be pleased. 
You couldn’t take your eyes off of it, couldn’t stop imagining it inside you, how strong he was, how effortlessly he could pick you up and thrust inside you, how he’d fill you up so completely. You couldn’t even see the whole thing, much of it hidden within his thick fur,  but you could tell it was big. 
He wasn’t even touching himself, just staring at you, watching how your lips fell open and your forehead creased when you rubbed over your clit, listening to the little noises you let out despite your attempts to be quiet. You wanted nothing more than to go to him. 
“I need to touch you,” he whined, sharing your sentiment. 
“We can't, this is all we get.”
He huffed as he fell back, bucking forwards into the air against nothing, his desperation clear. You should be in there, helping him, but instead you were getting off watching him rutt into nothing
“This was a bad idea,” you said, your motions slowing as guilt washed over you.
“Don’t leave,” he pleaded. “Need you, just stay.”
His hand wrapped around his dick and you sped up your motions, set on at least putting on a good show for him. 
He was rutting desperately into his hand, his eyes never leaving you. You thrust three fingers inside of yourself and still it didn’t feel like enough.  
You were sure he felt much the same way and yet you could see him getting closer to his release.
You watched, entranced, as he came. Thick ropes of cum shot out of him all over the wall and the glass in front of him, his hand still tight around his cock. 
As soon as he came you stopped, your fingers pulling out, refusing to come, like some sort of self inflicted punishment. He pushed up against the glass once more as you stopped but there was nothing he could do. 
With no better options, you wiped your fingers as best you could on your clothes as you pulled them back on, promising yourself you’d wash them as soon as you left.
You rushed out before you had the chance to talk and regretted the decision the whole night. It had seemed like the easier option at the time, to not have to talk about it when all your conflicting feelings were swirling but now you just wished you’d gotten the chance to confirm that you hadn’t messed anything up.
The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough. You did your best to not rush through your duties, knowing exactly how costly a mistake could be in this place. 
Finally, the time arrived and you were back in that observation room again. This time you mercifully were able to enter, no longer stuck behind that damn window.
He seemed as composed as ever and you got the feeling that he hadn’t been worrying the way you had. The thumping of his tail behind him gave away his excitement, as it always did, but you detected no signs of nervousness. 
He studied you as you came in. “Something’s wrong,” he noted.
He always understood how you were feeling, he had some sort of sixth sense about it, but this time you were fairly certain that you weren’t difficult to read. You were sure you looked as worried as you felt. “Was it weird?” you asked, needing an answer as quickly as possible. “Please tell me I didn’t mess anything up between us.”
His head fell to the side. “Why would it be weird?”
“I don’t know, I think I feel like I helped them observe you.”
“They’re already observing me, why would it ruin our bond? Did you not want to?”
“No, just wanted to make sure I didn’t break anything.”
“You’re fine, we’re still intact.” He said it so plainly, like he was stating a fact. 
It all seemed to come so easily to him, his biggest problem was being locked up in this place. Much of what he did seemed like it was based on instinct. There was less thinking required that way, it seemed nice. 
He did, however, seem concerned about something.  “You didn’t finish.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden change in topic. “That wasn’t really the point.”
“That’s always the point, making each other feel good. That’s what mates do.”
You mulled the word over in your head. Mates. Is that what he meant when he talked about your bond? Is that what you were? It didn’t feel right, like it couldn’t be a title that belonged to you. Surely you hadn’t earned that as you kept him here, trapped against his will. 
“What does that mean to you? Being mates?” you asked. 
You were afraid of giving intel to the scientists running this place but you wanted so badly to understand what that word meant to him, what you meant to him. 
As he spoke you started to feel woozy and your ever-present headache worsened. You leaned on the wall beside you as you tried to focus on his words. He reached out his arm to help you before quickly withdrawing it, remembering that he wasn't allowed to touch you or he could lose you. 
The dizziness got worse, despite your attempt to take some of the strain on your legs and you went to sit on the floor. You went down faster than you’d intended, your legs giving way underneath you as the headache overtook you and you hit the floor hard. 
When you woke up, your back was pressed to the wall and you were sitting on top of some blankets. The pile of blankets in the corner of the room, to be more specific. You were fairly sure you’d passed out across the room and you couldn’t help but wonder how you’d gotten over here.
As you cracked your eyes open, you saw subject 251 standing over you defensively. The food you’d brought him was still sitting at the end of the makeshift bed, completely untouched. That was odd, he normally ate it right after you left. Although, you supposed, you hadn’t quite managed to leave yet. Nonetheless, it did feel like a significant chunk of time had passed. 
“Hey,” you said, your voice low and wavering from your bout of unconsciousness. “You keeping me safe, big guy?”
A rumble came from deep in his throat as he continued to stand over you protectively. 
“What time is it,” you asked, trying to gather your bearings. 
“You’ve been out for a few hours,” he informed you. “They’ve been trying to get to you.”
Shit. Of course they had. You’d passed out next to what they considered to be one of their most dangerous creatures, of course they’d been trying to get to you, to get you out of there. 
As you tried to get up with a groan, he settled down next to you, pulling you back towards the blankets. You didn't try to fight him, knowing you didn’t have the strength to get up right now. You needed rest more than anything.
You quickly realized as you felt his warm fur next to you that this was the first time the two of you had ever touched one another. 
He’d always been good at following your rules, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of the scientists, and thus he’s always kept his distance, just as you’d informed him he had to. 
But now, after you’d collapsed, vulnerable, in front of him, you appeared to have found his limit in regards to following the rules. 
The beep of the intercom sounded and you heard a monotone voice fill the room. “We understand this is a delicate situation and we trust your instincts on the matter, if you need any kind of aid we have teams ready to go. Our first priority is your safety, do you have a way out of the enclosure?”
Your safety? After a moment it hit you what they were implying. 
“Don’t worry about me,” you called out. “I’m fine. If anything's going to kill me it’s whatever this damn lab has done to me, not this guy.”
The intercom beeped off but you knew they were still listening. 
His gaze immediately turned to you, his face questioning. “What did you say? Is being here killing you?” he asked, his voice soft and measured. 
You’d avoided mentioning it for so long, not wanting to worry him, but now you didn’t really have a choice. “I don’t think this place is good for me bud. To be honest if it weren’t for you I probably would have left ages ago but I just can’t stomach the idea of leaving you here alone.”
His head cocked to the side. “It’s… hurting you?”
A wry chuckle escaped you. “Well, something certainly is. People don’t typically faint for no reason.”
“Why are you here if it hurts you?”
“I can’t leave you behind, it’d break my heart.”
“You’re hurt because of me.”
“No!” you immediately replied, refusing to let him blame himself. “That’s not it, I want to stay.”
“But it hurts?”
“But it hurts,” you conceded. 
You couldn’t stand to look at those sad eyes, opting instead to shut yours and snuggle into his warm side. “Listen, we can talk about this some other time, okay? Right now I’m just going to enjoy this.”
He nuzzled right back into you, immediately giving in to your actions. “Little mate.” he purred, curling around you protectively. 
You didn’t have the heart to correct him. And maybe it wasn’t just for his sake. Maybe now, curled up, feeling safe and warm, you wanted to pretend you really were his little mate too. 
You woke up to the sound of the intercom going off once again. 
“He called you his mate,” it stated. “This isn’t an ideal scenario but we don’t know much about mates and you’re already in there and anything you might do would be extremely advantageous to our research.”
You groaned in annoyance as you leaned back into your warm, living blanket. His ears perked up as he tried to understand what they were saying. He looked to you for clarification. You were often the translator between them, the scientists always speaking in stilted language and hidden meanings that many of your creatures had a hard time parsing. 
“They want me to have sex with you,” you clarified and immediately he hunched further over you. 
“I won't let them see my little mate like that, no. Absolutely not, no no no.” The mere idea immediately worked him into a little frenzy, leaving him muttering to himself as he tried to shield you from the cameras. 
Your hand rose to caress his face and he leaned into your touch, calming down again. It didn’t take long before he fell back into place, curling around you once more. 
Being able to touch you seemed to bring out a whole other side to him. You’d never seen him this affectionate or possessive, something seemed to have been set off in him that hadn’t been before. 
Something had changed within you as well. The idea of having to return to the way things were before made you feel sick, you wanted to be able to hold him and comfort him like this all the time. Now you knew what you were missing as you stood away from each other, unable to get close. 
Even breaking the rules as you were, it couldn’t last forever. Eventually you could no longer ignore your growling stomach and you convinced him that you needed to leave, that you’d be back tomorrow. 
He told you not to come.
Your heartbreak barely had the chance to set in before he was quickly elaborating, telling you again and again that he didn’t want you to stay if it was hurting you. 
You brushed him off, at least that time. 
A few weeks later, it was your last day of work you’d ever attend. Ever since that day when you’d fainted and subject 251 had stood guard over you, he’d been insistent upon you leaving. It was quite a change from the norm, he went from being the reason you were guaranteed a job here, why you didn’t want to leave and go home in the evenings, to being the thing pushing you out. You could tell it was eating him alive, the thought that you staying was hurting you. He was obsessively insistent that you leave and get yourself to safety.
You’d never been good at saying no to that face.
So, after agonizing over the decision, awash with guilt, you turned in your two weeks notice. 
You were selfish about it. You didn’t tell him for a while, wanting to pretend that everything was fine for just a bit longer.
You let it go on longer than you should have. 
It was your last day here, the last time you’d ever see him, and he had no idea. 
You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry, for his sake more than yours, but you kept finding yourself tearing up no matter how hard you tried. 
As you opened the door to the observation room and headed through decontamination, your stomach dropped. 
He wasn’t excited this time. 
He didn’t say anything. He just looked down at you, not asking if something was wrong as you’d become so accustomed to him doing. He didn’t have to
You didn’t speak for fear of immediately bursting into tears and eventually he spoke for the both of you. 
“You aren’t coming back.”
You buried your face in your hands, trying to make sure he didn’t see you like this. You wanted his last memory of you to be better than this, to give him something more solid to hold onto.
The best you could manage was poorly stifled tears. 
All you wanted was to hug him. To lurch forwards and wrap your arms around him and never let go. 
But you couldn’t. If you did, you weren’t the one who would be punished. You couldn’t do that to him. 
You spent the rest of the day just sitting there, existing in one another’s presence. Trying to soak one another in before it was too late. 
You didn’t speak. There was little to say that wasn’t understood between you. You finally got it, that last day. You felt the pull of his grief on the other end of your bond, something connecting you.
You weren’t sure if it was something undefinable and otherworldly or just complete understanding of one another but either way, it was real. 
As you stood up to leave you searched for something, anything you could say to make all of this right. 
“You know I love you, don’t you?” you asked. It was the most important thing in the world to you right now, you just needed to make sure. 
“Of course I do.”
And then you left your mate behind. 
Nothing felt real after that. You knew you couldn't stay there but the idea of there being an after hadn’t really occurred to you. 
What were you supposed to do now? Just live knowing he was out there, alone? You couldn’t make sense of anything, the whole world seemed muted and suffocating. 
An alarm blared suddenly overhead, making you jump. It wasn’t an uncommon experience. Most of the creatures here were difficult to hold, whether it was because of inhuman strength or an unusual viscosity or any other number of oddities they held. It wasn’t your problem anymore, you thought as you gathered your things, trying to get near an exit so as soon as the lockdown cut out you’d be able to leave.
You wanted to get home and wallow, to mourn the loss of this place, of your friend. 
You were more careless than you should have been. Normally you were tactful and moved with intention but not this time, this time you just wanted to get out. That was your mistake. 
Something massive and vaguely reptilian came smashing around the corner, immediately setting its sights on you. You could tell it was in a frenzy, that it was out for blood after breaking out of its hellscape of a prison.
You couldn’t blame it, even as it came barreling towards you to rip it in two. It wasn’t the creature's fault, you wouldn’t blame it. 
It never made it all the way down the hallway. Instead its scaly feet came to a screeching halt as a wall of fur blocked its path, growling at the creature. It clearly didn’t want to test its luck and went barrelling down the hallway in the other direction, looking for easier prey to take out its wrath on. 
Subject 251 turned and made eye contact with you, looking uncertain. He used to break out frequently, he’d taken out plenty of humans when he had, but since you’d formed your little truce he’d stayed put for you.
You wondered if his breakout this time had been because he could somehow sense you were in danger or because you were leaving and he no longer had anything to keep him where he was. 
It didn’t matter. At the end of the day there he was, in front of you. You had a decision to make. One look at that big, eager face and you instantly knew it wouldn’t be a hard one. 
You reached out towards him and he instantly came to you. 
As many times as there were breakouts, the creatures rarely made it outside the facility but then again, they also rarely had the facility’s star employee at their side with nothing to lose. 
“I think I can get you out, do you want to go?” Your words were frantic. You needed to move quickly if you wanted to have any chance to get out of there.
He didn’t even have to think about his response, nodding eagerly and trailing behind you the second you took off.
The alarms were still blaring overhead, screeching and causing your ears to ring. You knew exactly which doors would have the least guarding, especially in the middle of a breakout. 
You knew all the override codes and quickly ushered him through doors that otherwise would have been deadlocked. 
As you headed out the last doorway you ran straight into a scientist, one you’d seen in passing before. 
He was clearly already panicked from the breakout, the sight of a massive werewolf standing behind you was probably not helping matters. 
“You’re going to want to let us through,” you informed him.
Behind you, the monster that they’d kept imprisoned for so many years snarled and the man looked like he might drop dead from fear, quickly sidling up to the wall and getting as far out of your way as possible. 
You’d never been so grateful that you lived a short walk from the lab. You had no idea how you would have gotten the two of you home if you’d needed to drive. Eventually it would prove to be a problem, when they inevitably came for him, but that was an issue for another day. 
He ducked his head to get inside, taking in your home before quickly moving towards your bed and stripping it of all its blankets, instead opting to make a little nest out of them on your floor. 
You couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You could give up your bed for a little while, he’d more than earned some comfort after everything he’d been put through. 
Before you even realized what was happening, you were being pulled into the small pile of pillows and blankets beside him.
The warm comfort of him by your side was more than welcome. You’d been dreading the idea of coming home to a cold, lonely house all day, knowing you’d lost your best friend. Your mate. 
Having him here was all you could ever ask for. 
“They’re going to come after you, you know,” you informed him, the thought endlessly circling your mind, refusing to die down.
He seemed to misunderstand your concern for him as worry for your own safety as he pulled you into his side protectively. “I won’t let them get you.”
You quickly succumbed to the closeness, cuddling into him in the little nest. “As long as you don’t let them get you either.”
You felt a rumble run through his chest and you couldn’t tell if it was in acknowledgement of your words or if he was amused that you thought you even had to ask. 
He started rearranging the blankets around you, making sure you were comfortable before fully setting in, manhandling you around as he sorted things out. Finally, as he settled, you ended up basically in his lap.
Then you felt his tongue lap over your shoulder, him readjusting you to best be able to lick you.
“What’re you doing?” you asked with a giggle, partly at the situation and partly because he was tickling you.
“Grooming you,” he said before getting back to work, his tongue slowly lapping over your arm. 
You let him carry on with his work, trying your best not to focus on it. He was just trying to clean you, it wasn’t a big deal. 
Still, the endless sensation of his tongue roving your body sent sparks of arousal through you.
You heard him sniff the air and your face immediately warmed, knowing you’d been caught. 
“Couldn’t smell it through the glass,” he said, nose burying itself in your hair, as if he couldn’t get close enough to you and your scent. 
“Couldn’t feel you through the glass either,” you murmured, pushing back into him.
He started slowly pulling your clothes off but the grooming didn’t cease. He needed more skin to skin contact, removing the inconvenient barriers in his way. He worked slowly, drawing this out as long as possible. You could only guess he was attempting to torture you. His tongue was pressed against your bare skin, roving leisurely across your newly exposed chest and stomach. You could feel his hardening dick start to poke into you but he just kept licking. 
Eventually you grew impatient, your hand wandering down to grab his cock. It was hot and bigger than you thought it would be, its size disguised by his thick fur. He thrusted into your hand, a whine escaping him.
Your impatience proved to be a success as he wrapped his hands around your waist and lifted you. His hands almost completely encircled your midsection as he moved you effortlessly over his dick. 
His claws were digging into your sides as he positioned you, looking to you for permission. 
You nodded and you felt the tip of his dick press against you as he pushed you down onto it. He moved slowly, giving you time to adjust as he pressed into you, stretching you open. 
Finally, you felt your thighs meet his fur, straddling his waist with his hands still wrapped around you. 
He was everything your fingers could never be. You’d never felt so full and beautifully stretched in your life. 
You attempted to ride him, lifting up as best you could, but he was too big, it was too difficult to do. It didn’t take long for him to pull you back down anyways, his hands never straying from your sides. 
“It's my turn this time. And I promise you, this time you will come.”
He lifted you once more, thrusting you swiftly back down. You could see the bump it caused in your lower stomach when he thrusted all the way in. You barely had time to look at it before you were being lifted once more. 
“Touch yourself,” he said, his movements never faltering. 
You shifted to rub your clit as best you could as he pumped you up and down his shaft, using you like a toy. You had no control over the pace, being moved at his whim. 
The loss of control was exhilarating. The sharp movements inside you touched places you hadn’t even known existed, places you’d never be able to reach on your own. 
He was dead focused on you, intent on keeping his promise. Every time he did anything that drew a pleasured cry from you he’d chase after it, finding everything that made you tick.
“Let go for me, please,” he said, thrusting incessantly into you at the perfect angle, everything rapidly becoming overwhelming. Part of you wanted to stop touching yourself to lessen some of the all consuming stimulus but more of you wanted to be good for him, to do everything he asked. 
You were too far gone to respond to his plea, your head thrown back as all the pent up energy that you’d been ignoring for so long was released. He pumped you up and down his shaft as you touched yourself, guiding you through your orgasm. 
As you came down from your high, your eyes opened to meet his watching your face intently.
“Can you keep going?” he asked, holding you up so only the tip of his throbbing dick was inside you. 
“Please, I need you, want you to come,” you begged. 
He mercilessly thrusted you down again, now only concerned with his own pleasure. He chased his orgasm and you completely surrendered control, letting him move you as he pleased, do whatever he needed to in order to come. 
“You’re so soft, so tight, so perfect.” He started rambling, sounding like he barely knew he was speaking. “Wanted this for so long, to touch you. Dreamed about this.”
“Me too,” you gasped out, his pace still relentless. “I wanted you so badly.”
His breaths were coming faster and faster and he quickly asked, “Where should I…”
You didn’t even let him finish. “Inside”
He buried himself fully inside and you could feel the base of it swelling just inside your entrance, holding you two together as he filled you. He whined and grunted and held you as close as he could as the sticky fluid flooded your insides
“You’re going to be stuck like this for a while,” he said as he came down, still cradling you close to him and almost sounding sheepish.
“Good, I like how you fill me up.”
The words pulled a soft, instinctual thrust from him and you both whined at how sensitive you were.
“Stop flirting,” he hissed into your hair, hands resting on your hips, keeping the both of you from moving. 
“For now,” you conceded.
“Thank you,” he said, his hands roving over your form, claws lightly being drawn over your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake.
“For what?”
“For everything. For saving me.”
“The breakout was mostly you bud, I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
His grip on you tightened, like he was afraid you’d slip through his fingers despite the fact that you were tied together and you couldn’t go anywhere even if you wanted to. 
But of course you didn’t want to. If you had anything to say about it, you wouldn’t be leaving him for a long long time. 
You didn’t know how you were going to move forwards, where you’d take him, how any of this would play out. Maybe they wouldn’t want to chase him down, it being a hazard to try and catch a creature that had been such an issue even when they were holding him in their specialized facility. Maybe it’d take years for them to give up. Maybe they’d never stop chasing him and you’d have to keep running and fighting for the rest of your lives. Maybe they’d catch you and all this work would have been for nothing. 
But it wasn’t nothing, you thought, wrapped up in his arms in the little nest of blankets he’d built for you on your floor, no looming goodbyes or rules against touching, no more being alone. Whatever happened, it was already worth it.
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appocalipse · 3 months
Note
hello ♥ i'd like to request faded photograph + antique lock and key set with steve. maybe after what happened in s4 with steve and nancy and all that r decides to leave hawkins because she's sure he still loves nancy and she wants to move on? and if you want it could have a happy ending with one of those super cute love confessions ♥♥♥
ahhhh this is so steve! ♥ (also this is my version where eddie and max are alive and fine and hawkins is safe again)
visit amy's flea market ♥
"I need to tell you something."
Steve is not sure he likes the tone of your voice. It's somber, serious. His gut clenches, and for a brief moment, he scares himself with the thought that something might be wrong with you, something he might not be able to help with. 
And it's raining outside, for God's sake. It's never good news on a rainy day like this, is it?
"Everything... everything is fine?"
"Yeah. Yes, everything is...fine." 
You smile, but Steve notices it doesn't quite reach your eyes.
You look at him as if the words are stuck in your throat, as if they're heavy and you desperately want to get rid of them. 
Finally, you clear your throat. 
"I'm leaving."
Steve feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. "What?"
"I'm leaving. Hawkins, I mean. Tomorrow."
You shrug, as if you're not sure what else to do with your arms, and then you turn around and Steve can't even attempt to read your expressions anymore. 
He knows you've been thinking about college and your future, but he thought... well, he thought you'd stay. You'd told him months ago that you were actually planning to stay. And now...
Steve clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. And because he's sure this can't be happening, he double-checks, "For...for good?"
"Yeah. For good."
The silence between you feels like a living thing, thick and suffocating. Steve can feel the weight of it pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe. He wants to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He's not sure if he's in shock or if he's just too stunned to form words.
"Why?" The question finally escapes him. "Why are you leaving?"
You turn back to him, and for a moment, Steve thinks he sees a glimmer of something in your eyes. Is it... sadness? Regret?
"I...I'm not sure, I guess," you say. "Just...why not?"
The words sound pathetic even to your own ears, but you can't help it. It's not like you don't love this place, this town, your friends... Steve. You do. You love it all.
Too much.
And it's different now. Hawkins is safe. The kids are safe. You're out of excuses to stay and get your heart broken a little further. It feels like it's time to move on, to leave behind the shadow of the Upside Down, to stop waiting for something to happen.
But Steve looks at you like you're making the biggest mistake of your life, and then he says the last words you'd expect him to say right now. "You want to leave and you don't even know why?"
It's not anger in his voice, but it's close. It's desperation and fear and a kind of raw pain that you'd expect to see in the eyes of someone who's just been told they have a terminal illness or something.
"I just..." you stammer, feeling the weight of his gaze pressing down on you. "I have to."
Steve shakes his head, looking as if he's trying to will you to stay. "You don't have to."
"Yes I do! In a way that you don't understand."
"Then explain it to me!"
You're angry now, and a little hurt. All of your other friends supported your decision; Eddie, the kids. Nancy. And out of all of them, Steve is your best friend. Shouldn't he understand most of all?
"It's not that easy! You don't understand what it's like here! I can't...I can't just stay!"
Steve takes a step back, clearly hurt. "What do you mean I don't understand?"
"I mean..." You trail off, feeling helpless. 
What are you supposed to do? Tell him how you are such a coward you cannot stand to see him and Nancy find their way back to each other? 
"...doesn't matter," you murmur. "Doesn't matter. You'll be fine, okay? You have... everyone."
The words taste bitter in your mouth, and you can tell they're not sitting well with Steve. He looks at you like you've just slapped him, and you feel a pang of guilt. But what else can you do? You can't tell him the truth. You can't tell him that you're leaving because you're terrified of never getting over your stupid feelings for him, of watching him and Nancy falling in love with each other all over again.
You can't tell him that every time you think about it, you feel like you're drowning.
"Look," you say, forcing a smile, "it's not like I'm never coming back or anything. I'll...I'll visit. And...and I'll...call."
Steve doesn't return your smile. He just looks at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours, as if he's trying to find something. Something that you've been keeping hidden. And then he shakes his head, and a small, sad smile finally tugs at the corner of his lips.
"You know what?" he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe...maybe I should come with you."
You look at him, stunned. You hadn't even considered the possibility. Steve...leaving Hawkins? With you? It's a strange, surreal thought, and...no. Absolutely not. 
That would totally ruin your plan. 
"What?"
"Yeah," Steve says, surprising you again. "I mean...why not? It's not like I've got anything keeping me here. And maybe...maybe it'd be good for me to get away. You know? See something new, do something different."
He looks at you, hope in his eyes. And for a moment, you almost consider it. Almost. Because it's so much easier saying yes to Steve than saying no. You could be together, away from all the memories and the reminders of everything you've been through...but you'd still be just friends. 
He'd be with you everyday, and that's the last thing you need. 
You can't stand the thought of watching him find someone else, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Of course, you want him to have all of those things; you just don't want to watch.
Steve seems to sense your hesitation, his hope fading. 
"You don't want me in your life," it's not a question. 
You panic.
"No! I mean...I do, I..." You can feel the words tumbling out of you before you even realize what you're saying. "You just..."
"Is that why you want me to stay here? Just so you don't have to deal with me anymore?"
"No!" You shake your head violently. "Of course not! That's not it at all!"
But the words feel hollow, even to you. Because in some twisted, secret part of your mind, that's exactly how you feel. You want him to stay here, where it's safe, where he can't get close to you, where he can't hurt you. You know it's selfish, but you can't help it.
Steve's expression softens, and he takes a step closer. "Be honest with me."
You make an effort not to move.
"I'm sorry," you manage to say, your voice barely audible. "I don't want you to come with me, but it's not because...I just...I don't think it's a good idea. It'd be better for you to stay here, where you belong. You deserve...you deserve to be happy. Your life is here, your job...she is here."
"She?"
"Nance."
Steve's face twists into a bitter grimace. "What does Nancy have to do with anything?"
"I just mean...well, c'mon, she was your first love, and you still love her, it's clear, a-and now she's single again-"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second here," Steve says, his voice suddenly raised. "Nancy? You think I'm still in love with Nancy? You're kidding, right?"
You blink, surprised by the vehemence in his tone. But Steve has always been…protective of his feelings, refusing to really understand them. You had seen how he and Nance looked at each other when no one was around, how he would light up whenever she was near...even when you were in the Upside Down, fighting for your lives, Steve's eyes would sometimes drift towards Nancy, his expression softening. 
It's obvious to you.
"Forget it," you say. "It's none of my business, I just...I want you to be happy."
"I am happy," Steve says, his voice low. "I'm happy with you here."
It feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. You want to say something, to apologize or explain or reassure...but you can't find the words, and with the way Steve is looking at you now, you're not even sure what it is you want to say anymore.
"Steve," you murmur in a small, quiet voice, your heart feeling like it's tearing in two.
He takes another step closer, and you feel your heart start to race. He cups your face in his hands, his touch gentle but firm, and leans in until his breath is warm against your lips. "Don't go anywhere," he asks.
Right this moment, you're not entirely sure you'd be able to if you tried.
Your feelings are confused enough. Being this close doesn't help. 
"Steve," his name rolling off your tongue is somewhere between a plea and a warning as you look up into his eyes, chest heaving. You tell yourself you want to pull away, that you simply can't find the strength.
"You really think that?" he whispers. "You really think I'm still in love with her?"
His hands are still cupping your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as his lips part, and he slowly leans in, closer, until his nose is almost touching yours. 
You fist your hands in the fabric of his shirt, trying to will yourself not to give in to this, to not feel this way, to not want this. "Please don't," you manage to choke out. "Don't do this."
His lips brush against yours, soft and hesitant. "Don't do what?" he whispers against your mouth. "Don't love you?"
"Steve." Desperation. Feels like the world is spinning out of control.
He pulls back, eyes searching yours. "What do you want me to do?"
Your throat feels tight. "Don't do this," you manage to whisper. "Don't choose me because you think I'm a consolation prize."
He frowns, confusion flitting across his features. "What are you talking about?"
You swallow hard, feeling the tears burning at the back of your eyes. "I don't want you to do this just because you don't want me to leave, or because you're lonely, or-"
Steve cuts you off with a gentle shake of his head. "I know that's not true, and you know that's not true," he says, his voice soft. "But if it's what you need to hear..." 
He kisses you properly this time.
It's the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl, your heart skip a beat, and your stomach flip-flop. It's the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless, and a little dizzy, and more than a little bit in love.  It's the kind of kiss that tells you, without a single word being spoken, that you are wanted, and cherished, and loved.
"Do you feel like a consolation prize when I do this?" he whispers against your lips. And he kisses you again, slowly, his weight pressing you against the wall. You feel the warmth of his body against yours, the hardness of his muscles beneath your fingertips. "Or when I do this?"
He trails his lips down your neck, leaving a trail of tiny kisses behind. You sigh, arching into him, and he chuckles softly. 
"Steve..."
"Or this?"
He pulls back slightly, cupping your face with his hands, looking into your eyes as he trails his thumbs across your cheekbones. The softness of his touch catches you off guard. His gaze is intense, searching, and you feel like maybe he can see something there that no one else ever could. 
"Do you really feel like a consolation prize?" Steve gently brushes his nose against yours. He smiles. "Because if you do..." He leans in, lips parting just enough for his breath to tease across your skin. "...I'll prove you wrong."
"Actually," you smile, feeling the warmth spread from your chest up to your cheeks. You wrap your arms around his neck. "I think I might need some more... convincing."
Steve grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, then." He leans in, pressing his lips against yours in a soft, gentle kiss. "I guess that's what I'll have to do."
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spirit-hotline · 3 months
Text
Blade x Abundance!reader
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Word Count͟͟͞͞➳❥ 1.9k (One-Shot)
Reader is gender neutral // Not proofread
A/N͟͟͞͞➳❥English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammar errors. The reader follows the path of abundance, and their origins can be up to interpretation. Have fun imagining yourself a backstory ;). This is more or less a test for a concept I've boiled up in my brain.
Cw ➳❥ Possible OOC, Mild body Horror, abrupt ending, illness, mention of pain, Soft, wholesome, SFW, vague on purpose.
Summary ➳❥ Blade meets you, a follower of the abundance, during one of his Mara crises. You heal him and leave leaving only your name. Who are you, he ponders. Once he finds himself desperate, he whispers your name.
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Blade sat on the floor,  hidden inside an abandoned merchant stall on the Loafu—his body tenses, the mara ever so threateningly consuming his mind. He hisses at the pain, holding back a groan from the intoxicating pain. Unable to move, run, or call Kafka for help. In these moments, even he couldn't help but to feel desperation. Maybe it’ll finally eat him alive this time, letting him meet his long-awaited end. His eyes closed. Corrupted memories and faded voices calling to him, a stabbing pain piercing the remains of his bruised lonely heart. Only the hope of death lay dryly on his tongue. Blade felt joy as his conscience faded into the dark, his body limping on the floor.
Blade could only hear the ringing in his ears until the thumping of footsteps appeared close to him. A light hand places itself on his shoulder. The unsupportable pain starts to vanish from his body, spreading from the singular light touch. The memories fade, freeing him from their strain. Blade lifts his head in a daze, vision foggy from his symptoms. He sees someone crouched next to him, their hand still placed on his shoulder. The person smiles at him softly. Throughout his body, gladioli buds start to sprout. The sprouts grow on his scars, lessening their pain. His mara calms, freeing his mind to think clearly again. The fog in his eyes dissipates, now able to see you fully. He suddenly winces out of your touch, backing away from you with sharp threatening eyes. You quickly bring your hand back to yourself. 
-’’ My apologies, I mean no harm.’’ You spurt out, attempting to calm him. 
Blade only stares at you with intensity, his face back to a neutral state.  A  deep groan escapes his lips. He considered knocking you out, unwilling to uselessly harm someone for an escape, but he quickly realized how dissipated his mara felt. His eyes widen, witnessing the bourgeons and flowers spread around his torn muscles. How did you-- Abundance? Even so- how was it so effective? His gaze wanders back to you as you innocently stare back.
-’’ You should be feeling better for a few.’’ You chirped softly, standing back up on your feet. ‘’ I need to move, Good day.’’ 
-’’ Wait!’’ 
As you turn your back, Blade mindlessly takes hold of your wrist. You turn back, surprised by the man’s sudden outburst. Blade didn’t know what he was doing, maybe he was losing his mind even more. His grip loosens, but you don’t pull your hand back.
-’’ How-’’ He shuddered. -’’ y/n’’ 
His mouth is agape as you cut him off. He quickly swallows his tongue. 
-’’ If you ever need me again, call my name.’’ You state as if it was a simple fact. 
You free yourself from his grip gently before walking away from the premises, disappearing within the simulated horizon of the Loafu. Blade watches your figure disappear, his normal expression back on his face. He didn’t know you, nor did he care about you. He was simply lucky, and you were foolish. Why would he ever remember your name?   
Weeks later, Blade lays in his bed at the stellaron hunter’s base. His mara is acting up, making him twist and turn on his futon. His covers are thrown off the futon as his body feels too hot to sustain it. He finally lays on his back, exhausted and restless. He breathes heavily, sweat sliding off his muscles, wetting his bandaged chest. It stings, leaving him breathless for only a moment every few seconds. His trousers are drenched, sticking uncomfortably on his legs. His eyes blur as he stares at the ceiling. Memories flood his weakened mind, making him clench his fists until his fingernails pierce through his skin. The pain is unbearable, consuming him once more like it always was. Groans escapes his lips every few minutes, unable to control the debilitating feeling throughout his ill body. As Blade feels his consciousness fade, something flashes in his mind. A recent memory, a word, a name. He fought the need to say it. His pride unwilling to do something so pathetic. A sudden sting causes him to groan loudly as he barred his teeth in thin air. Dammit, dammit it all.
-’’y/n…y/n…’’ 
Blade felt pitiful, gasping your name out of his burning throat. Nothing answered to him apart from the echo of his pleas. Of course, you won’t come. You were in the Loafu after all, and he was lightyears away from you. He so stupidly kept calling your name, desperate from the mara. Against his pride and his better judgment, he couldn’t help but call out your name silently. He frowns in frustration. 
-‘’y/n…y/n!’’ He barely screamed that last one, but nothing. Not you or the relief will ever arrive. He closes his eyes, exhausted and in pain. Maybe- just maybe, something could deliver him from this never-ending curse. 
The air suddenly feels fresher. Blade noticed that his futon seemed to have changed…texture? He quickly realizes that his pain is suddenly numbed. Although still present, it’s barrable. His eyes shot open, greeted by a light blue sky. His eyes widen, feeling a cool breeze all over his body. What in the? He sits up, touching his bandages and chest confused. Was this a dream? The afterlife? His body feels fuzzy as if ants were crawling beneath his skin. He looks around the plains surrounding him. 
A vast field of gladiolus bloomed before him, showing their diverse and saturated colours. The field seems to be endless, crossing the horizon. It sways in unison as a breeze traverses the blooming flowers.
Blade finds the force to stand up, holding his arm with his hand. Although he’s able to walk, the fuzzy feeling forces him to limp softly on the pillowy grass. Was this death? He looks down at the imprint of his body on the flattened flowers. Would a dream be this detailed? Without a thought and without a destination, Blade starts walking weakly in any direction. He leaves behind him a trail of red spider lilies, new flowers blooming at his every step. It feels like hours as he aimlessly wanders inside the never-ending plains. Finally, he sees what looks like a small cabin. He furrows his eyebrows, both happy and cautious of such a finding. As he approaches he smells something in the distance, sweets. The field opens up to a clearing. Between him and the house a few meters away, lays a picnic blanket with pastries arranged elegantly on its surface. On the edge of the blanket, there you are, sitting peacefully with a cup of tea in your hands. Blade’s eyes widen in disbelief. It’s you. He approaches you with more hurry than before.
You enjoy your favourite blend of tea, humming delightfully to yourself. You feel the presence you’ve been waiting for you. You turn your head towards the figure. You watch silently as Blade slowly approaches you. He stops in his tracks, leaving some distance between the two of you.
-’’ You–You’re here.’’ He exhales.
-’’ You called.’’ You answer simply.
The warrior studies you, desperately trying to find anything suspicious about any of this, but all he felt was confusion. You give him a soft smile, aware of the questions he might have. Unknown to him, you weren’t going to answer any of his questions.
-’’ Where–’’ He tries to ask, but you cut him off as easily as last time. 
-’’ Come, Join me. Have a seat.’’ You invite him. Your voice is soft and calming, which bothers Blade. 
Nonetheless, he closes his distance and sits next to you. He feels awkward, and not used to interacting with strangers. His walls are still up towards you. After all, you barely knew each other. You tap your lap softly, inviting him to rest his head on top of it. His eyes widen as he gives you a glare. You stare back, unbothered. 
-’’ You look pained, I can fix that…’’ You whisper you’re voice honeyed, inviting him further.
Blade scoffs at the absurdity of this entire situation. First, he wakes up in an unknown field, then he rests on your lap? He might as well go with it. Blade shifts the weight of his body, his back facing you before he reluctantly places his head on your thighs. You chuckle, gently putting a hand through his hair. The man closes his eyes at the touch, furrowing. The gazing of your fingers on his scalp suddenly felt like heaven. The feeling spread all over his face, causing a sharp exhale to escape his nostrils. As your right-hand plays softly with his hair, your left-hand descends carefully down his bandaged chest. The buzzing in his body ceases once your finger traces his skin. He feels calm and at peace. A feeling he never thought he could ever experience. His expression relaxes for the first time in years. For once, like the last time he saw you, his body feels empty, light, and devoid of ill. The tingle of your fingers tracing his scars through the bandages gives him goosebumps. Quick gaps escaped his lips. If he knew what it meant, he’d say it’d feel like euphoria. By now, his entire body felt weightless. He pressed his head on your stomach, enjoying this feeling with water in his eyes. You giggle softly, proud of your healing work.
-’’ We can stop now if you wish to.’’ You calmly propose, removing your hand from his hair. It’s interrupted by his hand grabbing yours. 
-’’ No…Please.’’ He whispers, pleading for your touch. 
-’’ Very well.’’ 
You continue your miracle, tracing the tips of your fingers all over his chest and face. Blade relaxes completely within your grasp. His skin shudders from time to time from the gentleness of your touches. You both spend your time like this for a while. Suddenly, a distant bell chimes across the sky. You look up, disappointment on your face. You look back at the now dozed-off warrior on your lap. You caress his cheek with the back of your hand, walking him up softly.
-’’ I’m afraid our time together is over.’’ You sigh sadly. You were enjoying your time with this stellaron hunter. His calm expression, the peace in his eyes as he flutters them open. The pain you meticulously make vanish. 
-’’ Will I–Ever see you again?’’ Blade asks weakly. He attempts to reach out for your cheek. You stop him, intertwining your hand with his instead. 
-’’ Oh, Blade…’’ You purr. Blade’s eyes widen at the mention of his name. He never told you his name. ‘’ You only have to call my name, remember?’’ 
As you finish your sentence, you lower your head closer. Your soft lips barely graze his before Blade wakes up in a cold sweat. 
     Blade frantically sits up. He’s back in his room. Was it really a dream? He pats around his body, realizing the pain is gone. What just happened. He feels a lingering pressure on his lips. A light blush flushes his cheeks. He hovers his fingers over his lips. When he looks down at his chest he notices gladioli flowers sprouting on his skin. His eyes widen at the sight. He looks around his room. Gladioli blossoms and sprouts are scattered around his floor…
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Tags ➳❥ @swivy123
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End note ➳❥ If you guys love the premise, I might make a more serious short-series about this. This has been a fun concept to work with. The mystery behind who the reader is. Idk, let me know! For now I've got more coming in the works :D
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sleepysnk · 1 year
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a/n: i was feeling under the weather the past few days and i actually was able to get some inspo for some headcanons! i hope you all enjoy! 🫶🏻 also don’t ever get sick </3 it’s annoying as hell.
characters: manjiro (mikey) sano, ken (draken) ryuguji, baji keisuke, hanma shuji
warnings: fluff, reader is sick, sickness (nothing too bad just a cold), mentions of vomit, mentions of food, use of pet names (baby, my girl, princess, babydoll, doll, babe), very very fluffy content.
TAKING CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK.
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manjiro (mikey) sano:
- oh boy, expect something a little odd from mikey of all people. he doesn’t really know how to take care of someone when they’re sick.
- you had woken up in the middle of the night shivering your ass off. it took you forever to fall back asleep, but when you woke up the next morning, you felt awful. you kept breaking out in cold sweats and your body just get terribly achy the whole time. you assumed you had caught something from someone at work, because many of your coworkers called out a few days prior because of illness.
- mikey decided to swing by when you didn’t show up at your usual meeting spot earlier in the day. he grew curious on your whereabouts, so he made his way to your place and found you swaddled in blankets and the most comfiest clothes you could find.
- completely dumbfounded. he honestly thought you were planning some kind of sleepover or something.
- “babe, why are you doing that? did you plan something without me?! your own boyfriend!”
- then when he noticed how uncomfortable you looked, he picked up on the fact that you were clearly unwell. there were tissues scattered along your bedside table and your skin looked a bit lighter than it usually would. you also seemed fairly exhausted and it made your boyfriend worried.
- you tried telling him to leave because you didn’t want him to catch whatever you had, but he refused. he told you time and time again that you were his girlfriend and it was his job to take care of you.
- mikey decided to go out and find you whatever you needed (with the help of draken of course). he found whatever he could to possibly make a person feel better. soup, medicine, gatorade for the electrolytes, etc! he also had to buy himself a dorayaki on the way, but otherwise he managed to find some pretty nice things for you to feel at ease.
- he actually makes a nice bowl of soup for you to enjoy. mikey also makes sure to lend you one of his sweaters so you don’t get cold at night. it’s super adorable and he honestly gets so worried 😭. he makes you call him every night before bed so he can make sure you haven’t somehow passed away or something.
- you guys can’t kiss, but he makes sure to give you a nice forehead smooch every time he swings by your place.
- he is so salty he can’t makeout with you :/.
- when you start to feel somewhat better, he comes over and watches movies with you. you find that his presence helps you sleep a little better. he probably rubs your head and let’s you lay on him so you can get a nice rest. it’s so cute and he sometimes whispers nice things in your ear so you can feel more relaxed. he’s such a sweet boy <3.
- he’s a sweetheart, don’t ever lose this man.
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draken (ken) ryuguji:
- he’s such a good boyfriend. i can’t help but say this every time i talk about this goddamn man. i think you can expect the best from draken of all people.
- you had gotten home from work and you were honestly exhausted. you thought you needed a nap or something, but that wasn’t the case. you woke up the next morning with the worst headache ever, and your throat felt like it was sandpaper every time you swallowed. draken noticed your change in behavior immediately, and was very concerned by it.
- draken instantly went into protective boyfriend mode. he made sure that you were keeping yourself hydrated and getting lots of rest, because he didn’t want something bad happening to you. you were his baby. he worried for you more than anything else.
- i hc this man knows how to cook a good meal for you. he definitely went to the grocery store and picked up some stuff for you. he’d make a really nice soup that’d make you feel all warm and fuzzy. it’s all you really feel like eating during the time you’re unwell, so expect lots of soups and other things of the sort. other foods taste horrendous and you can hardly stand them.
- he’s like a total caregiver. he checks on you every chance he gets and always makes sure you’re doing okay. draken constantly reminds you to take your medicine and eat and drink properly. even if you hate it, he’s always making sure you’re okay. he could never lose you.
- “hey baby, how’s my girl doing today? you take your medicine? make sure you finish up your soup. i’ll bring you extra water too.”
- he LOVES to take showers with you. he knows you two shouldn’t be that close, but he also wants you soothe your worries. i feel like he’d be the type to give you massages and help clean your body. he wishes he could kiss you, but he knows that he’ll fall ill. he doesn’t want to burden you with that, so he makes sure to hug you from behind or kiss the top of your head.
- hoodies. hoodies. hoodies. he will give you all of them so you feel warm at night. don’t worry, he’ll also make sure to cuddle you if you have a chill from a fever. he knows how hard it can be to deal with one, so he’ll be by your side for all of it!!
- he so puts the blankets in the dryer so they’re nice and warm for you!
- HE SO WANTS A KISS.
- “no, no kisses.” “aw! come on :(“
- when you start feeling better, he is so relieved to see you back on your feet. you can finally eat regular foods and he’s honestly so glad that you’re back to your usual self. he’d honestly probably cook you something, like a favorite dish. you’d thank this man for everything because he was truly a savior while you were sick in bed.
- however.. he does feel a scratch in his throat later on.
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baji keisuke:
- say what you want, but this man is kind of dense. i’m not saying he’s dumb or anything like that all the time, but he can be clueless.
- you woke up the previous night feeling horribly nauseated. your stomach was in knots and you actually ended up catching some kind of stomach bug. you also threw up in the bathroom and it was horrible. you weren’t sure how you had gotten sick, or where you could have gotten the bug, but it was hell. you could hardly fall asleep that night from the stomach pains you felt.
- baji knew something was off the next day when you didn’t come swing by his house like you usually did. he grew really worried so he took a trip and found you in your bed, curled up in a ball looking not so great.
- he honestly thought you were pranking him or something. you had done it before.
- “hey, get up. i know you’re messing around with me right now.”
- after sort of yelling at him, he quickly realized you weren’t joking. he could see how sick you looked and he felt guilty for not believing you. you explained that you hadn’t felt great and you were throwing up your guts the entire night. he wondered if it was because you had eaten at a new restaurant just a few days prior. however, that shouldn’t have been the main focus. he wanted to be a good guy and take care of you because he felt horrible seeing you that way.
- he went to the store and bought you things that could soothe your stomach. his mom had informed him that it’s best to eat soft foods when suffering with a stomach virus, so he bought you some soup and make sure to give you extra water.
- he’s the type to rub your tummy if it feels upset or tight. he knows how bad those stomach aches can be, so he’d make sure to massage you nice and well. also, if you do end up throwing up again, he will hold your hair back and clean up any messes you might make. he’s gonna deal with it all, and he doesn’t care about anything but your well being.
- “baby, drink your water. don’t forget to! i don’t want you feeling worse!”
- total worrywart. he hates to admit it but seeing you in such a state makes him feel so bad 😭. he knows he shouldn’t feel bad, but he just can’t help it. you’re his girlfriend and you mean the world to him. he wouldn’t want something bad to happen to you because he wasn’t there to properly take care of you. that’s why he’s sticking by your side as much as possible.
- he probably would lay with you in bed while you tried to take a nap. he’d be running his fingers along your skin and trying his best to soothe any pain you might have. it’s super cute and he sweet talks you the entire time to make sure you feel relaxed.
- eventually, the bug passes and you feel a lot better within the coming days. poor guy was so fucking worried but you managed to pull through it without any issues. baji probably reminds himself to never let you eat at that restaurant again 😭 and he also makes a note to never go there either.
- better thank him, because you’ll get lots of cuddles and kisses in return ;).
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hanma shuji:
- hanma is a very busy man. he has shit to do and things to take care of, like you, but he was completely blindsided when you started to feel sick.
- you were a shivering mess the previous night when you were trying to fall asleep. you just couldn’t get warm and hanma woke up to you shaking like a leaf next to him. he assumed that maybe the heater had turned off or something, but when he awoke the next morning and heard you coughing up a lung, he knew something wasn’t okay with you. it was really worrying for the man.
- “hey, i’m taking you to the doctor, doll. put on something warm.”
- the doctor eventually revealed that you had the flu. your temperature was fairly high and he prescribed some medications for you. hanma was relieved to know that it wasn’t anything too bad, but he wanted to be a good boyfriend and care for you. he hated seeing his princess all sick and exhausted in bed, so he figured he’d help you with it all.
- such. a. fucking. king. he’d take a few days off of work and tell anyone who protests to go fuck themselves.
- hanma would definitely make sure you’re comfortable at home. he buys you plenty of tissues, ibuprofen, etc! he also lets you wear his clothes because he knows you’ll be more comfortable that way. he cooks you some nice food as well, and he even serves you tea for your sore throat. it’s all really sweet, so expect the real princess treatment if you’re not feeling good.
- he also doesn’t care if you get him sick. he’ll cuddle with you, kiss your head, hold you, everything. he’s like a damn furnace and his body heat honestly helps with the chill that comes with a fever.
- “just come here, babydoll. it’s just a little cold or whatever.. could care less about myself.”
- he makes sure you nap often. sleep is honestly some of the best medicine a human being could have, so he lets you fall asleep in his arms a lot. it usually happens after you’ve eaten some soup or watched a movie with him after a really long day. hanma will always make sure you’re well rested and taking care of yourself. it doesn’t matter how far he may be or what the risks might be.
- has probably teased you a few times for being sick 😭. he’d poke fun at you by cleaning up your tissues and making a gross face whenever he sees the snots all over them. you know he’s joking but you can’t help but throw a damn pillow at his head.
- when he does go back to work, he makes sure to call you and check in as many times as he can. he reminds you to take your medicine and that he’ll be home as soon as possible to take care of you. it doesn’t matter how much you reassure him, he will blow up your damn phone to make sure you’re not dead or anything. it’s super cute though. he always knows what to say to make you feel much better.
- once you do get better, he’s very relieved. your fever broke and you were feeling much happier within the coming days. hanma gave you all the kisses and lovings he could possibly give out. it’s super cute.
- he’s such a sweetheart ugh 🥲.
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justauthoring · 1 year
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BLUE LOCK - COMING TO HIS GAME FOR THE FIRST TIME!
includes: bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, itoshi rin all x fem!reader
a/n: ill tell you what i cannot decide on a theme format to save my life :P
BACHIRA MEGURU:
He’s been asking you for a while.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go, but the timing had just never lined up.
Of course Bachira has never been anything but understanding; if there’s anyone who can understand how busy schedules can get, it’s him.
So, he’s never gotten mad or ever held it against you but you also aren’t oblivious to the way his shoulders deflate every time you have to tell him you can’t make it.
The hopeful light in his eyes washes away instantly and the forced smile on his lips does little to make you feel any less guilty -- even if rationally you knew it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t like making Bachira upset.
So, when it turned out his next game matched up with a day off, you were ecstatic. 
Except, you wanted to surprise him and so when he asked you, you said no again, this time regarding his frown and disappointment with excitement blooming in your chest in anticipation for how he’d look when you’d in fact be there, in the stands, cheering for him.
With Isagi’s help you’re able to borrow his extra jersey, making sure to wear it loud and proud when you make your way to the stands. Isagi had helped you get a seat nice and close to front, a spot that would be easy for Bachira to spot even in the midst of playing, surrounded by others, in a large field.
He’d see you.
And the second he walks out onto the field, mindlessly chatting to Isagi and Nagi, the former nudges his shoulder lightly before gesturing ahead of himself.
Bachira’s eyes lock onto you almost instantly.
It takes him no time whatsoever and the second he does, there’s a beaming smile curling onto his lips that practically lit up the whole arena. You can see the twinkle in his eyes as you move to your feet, waving your hands wildly and jumping up and down to make sure he can see you even if it’s already obvious he can.
Nagi teases him but Bachira hardly minds -- the sight of you at one of his games is something he’s been dreaming about for months and with the added fact that you’re wearing his jersey?
Bachira’s so happy he feels like nothing can stop him.
That point is further proved when he scores three goals all on his own, winning the game with his last goal.
He’s practically on fire.
Not a single person is able to stop Bachira that day, and every time he looks out into the crowd to find you, wearing his jersey and screaming his name -- his passion is renewed tenfold.
After that, you make sure to go to every single one of his games you possibly can, always clad in his jersey and screaming his name at the top of your lungs.
NAGI SEISHIRO:
He’s never really asked.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to come or thinks that you didn’t either, but he also felt like it’d be a hassle to ask and even more of one for you to go out of your way to come.
Nagi knows your busy and he doesn’t want to pressure you, so he just never asks.
But you’ve been waiting for him to ask.
At first you’d thought he was just shy or maybe uncomfortable with it, so you’d just left it alone, thinking that he’d eventually gather up the courage to ask you, especially when your guys’ relationship started to develop and turn more serious.
Then, when he still hadn’t asked months into your relationship, you tried dropping subtle comments -- dropping hints here and there with the intention to show to him you were curious on going.
You knew how big of a deal soccer was to Nagi, even if he tried to say otherwise. It was hard for Nagi to be passionate in anything so the effort and dedication he puts into his career is enough to know that he clearly cares, and you want him to share that with you.
You want to be there for him. Want to watch him do something he clearly loves so much.
It takes a year into your relationship for you to say something.
“Why don’t you want me to go to one of your games?”
Nagi? Confused.
“Huh?”
Turns out it was one big misunderstanding.
Once you learn it wasn’t that Nagi didn’t want you to come and rather he just didn’t want to be a hassle, and Nagi learned that you very much did want to go and it wouldn’t be a hassle at all -- the solution was easy.
He gets you a seat up close, almost secluded off to yourself and close enough to be able to watch Nagi easily the entire game.
He wants to say he’s embarrassed when you come adorned in his jersey and his number painted on your face, but he’d be lying if he said he was (even as his teammates tease him about it endlessly).
Truthfully, it makes his heart flutter and his chest feel tight at the fact that you’d put so much effort into coming to his game and making sure everyone knew who you were there for.
After that, Nagi practically drags you to every one of his games.
Doesn’t give you an option in it either. You’re coming.
Makes sure to point you out to his teammates even though they all know who you are.
“Y/N’s here, see? She’s the one in my jersey.”
“Yes, Nagi. I literally said hi to her earlier.”
Needless to say, Nagi loves having you there.
ITOSHI RIN:
Simply doesn’t think he needs you there.
If you came, he wouldn’t care and the fact that you don’t, he doesn’t care either.
Or so he thinks.
You know Rin well enough to know this so you don’t press it either way.
Rin likes to have his space and you’re happy enough to give it to him; you get to hear him talk about games afterwards anyways and it makes you happy that he chooses to share that part of his life with you so you just let things be.
Until a friend of yours mentions that she’s going to a game and has an extra ticket and “oh. Doesn’t your boyfriend play for T/N as well?”
So you join her.
Rin doesn’t even notice you until half way through the game when he receives a rather harsh shove from a teammate telling him he swears he just saw you in the stands.
He goes to deny it until he turns his head and sure enough, there you are in the midst of the crowd. You’re close enough to Rin to spot, but you’re in the midst of the stands, leaned over slightly as your friends whispers something into your ear.
You meet his eyes in the next second, offering a nervous smile and a wave.
Rin can’t explain it, he really can’t make senses of it--he’d always thought he didn’t really care about you being at one of his games. That, while he loved you, you’d be a distraction that he didn’t need.
But seeing you there? Knowing you’re watching him?
It feels like all he can feel is your eyes on him, even amongst the hundreds in the crowd, on him all game; following his every move, watching him. He can hear you cheering for him when he makes a goal or an impressive tactic. 
It enlightens something in him he hadn’t thought possible.
It isn’t just that you helped him do better -- that having you there made him play better. It was just the fact that you were there, watching him doing something he loved and was so so passionate about; cheering for him, simply there for him.
It’s a feeling Rin hadn’t thought he was capable of, but it isn’t something he wants to lose.
So next time there’s a game, he approaches you, a ticket in hand and his extra jersey in the other.
“I want you to come to my game... w-wearing this.”
You don’t hesitate to say yes, and that makes Rin’s heart flutter in a way he hadn’t thought possible.
Now he doesn’t even have to ask -- every time he has a game approaching, it’s a known fact and a wordless affair as he hands you a ticket and you beam up at him, all bright eyed and cheery saying you can’t wait.
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qtboni · 9 months
Note
hi AGAIN.
ugh i cant get out of your fucking page. its like i live here like a rat
im back, hi, have another req bc i just thought of it and needed it in my veins.
how about some comfort from fatherfigure!price? like reader is sad kinda and he helps? maybe reader "accidentally" calls him dad, nothing to /srs
(im mentally okay i swear😭)
idk if you even do price tbh, i haven't seen it on your page tho
anyways i needed to write this somewhere or ill forget and like wither away into nothing or sum shit
im being dramatic. i think.
okay thats it bye bye dearest boni.
(sorry im constently blowing up your asks😭😭)
HAI LOVIE !! THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO WRITE AGHSHS ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LOMG OMG.
╰﹒ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐃 𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 ?
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PAIRING: Captain 'John' Price X Reader
C/W: comfort & humor! + gn!reader, explicit words, price playin' wit chu, somebody ate your cake (it was soap don't tell him tho /hj)
W/C: 1.3k
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"What's got you looking so down today, sergeant?" Captain Price asked in his usual stern voice as he entered the living room, noticing the dejected look on your face.
You had been sitting on the sofa for hours now, cleaning your holster and moping around. He approached you with a glass of water in hand.
"Somebody ate my cake," you slowly replied, your voice heavy with emotion. You didn't usually get sad over such small things, but today, you feel so tired.
"Are you telling me that you're this upset over a slice of cake?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. Captain Price raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to hear something like that coming from you.
"I guess I am," you said, your voice barely audible. You shrugged and looked down at your holster, not wanting to admit to being such a crybaby. "I was saving it for this specific rest day to ... indulge myself with sweets.."
Captain Price's expression softened as he placed the glass of water down next to you. He sat down on the sofa next to you and put an arm around your shoulders.
"Listen, sergeant," he said in a comforting tone, "It's okay to be upset about something. Everyone has their own quirks and things that are important to them. And in our line of work, we need to be able to deal with any situation and not let little stuff like this get us down."
"Thanks, Cap'," you said, a hint of embarrassment in your voice. You smiled at him, grateful for the reassurance.
"Any time," He replied with a soft smile. He then stood up and left the room, returning a few minutes later with two fairly large cookies, handing it to you. "Here, this should cheer you up."
"No way," You were overjoyed, your face lighting up with a smile.
"Yes way," He replied, playfully eyeing the cookies then to you. "Have it, yeah?"
"Dad, oh my god," You squealed excitedly, taking a bite out of the cookie, savoring the taste of the sweetness and the tenderness. "This is so sweet of you. Thank you so much!"
Oh no. Dad? Did you just call your captain, 'dad'?
Avoiding the embarrassment of calling your captain 'dad' in a moment of vulnerability, you silently prayed that he hadn't heard it. This was going to be awkward, and the thought of having to explain yourself was making you cringe.
Just play it off...
Now as much as Price wants to give you the other cookie for you to eat, he retracted his hand away from your grabby hands, not letting you get one.
"Cap?" Your hands stay levitated, clearly ready to munch on the cookie on your Captain's grip.
Did he caught on?
"Hm?"
You had to think fast. Change the subject before things got too awkward!
"Are.. are you going to eat that?"
"Nope."
"Then why- actually no, just- isn't that for me?"
"Correct," He chuckles as he continued dangling the pastry infront of you.
Silence.
You stared at him incredulously, your hand visibly itching to just pounce on the cookie and munch on it.
What was your captain doing?
"See, the funny thing is, kid," He trailed off as he waves the cookie back and forth with his hand up in the air. He smirks when your eyes followed the cookie's movement. "I haven't thought much of being a father."
Shit. Play it off...
You hummed in confusion, tilting your head in curiosity.
Where was he going with this? And also, can he just give you the cookie? After all, he gave it to you, right?
Just give me the cookie, dammit.
"Let alone..." He paused and looked at you in the eyes. Shit. "Someone calling me one, aye?"
You feel like you could sink into the ground and vanish from existence. The embarrassment was too much to bear!
"...Who?"
Bye.
Captain Price chuckles at you, "Don't play dumb on me now, sergeant."
Your mind is racing, trying to think of something to say. You stuttered a reply, "I- Capta-"
But before you know it, he interrupts your thoughts with his sharp wit.
"Oh? It was 'Dad' a second ago, wasn't it?" He retorded with a proud smirk playing across his lips, looking at you with an air of amusement and teasing. He knows exactly what to say to get under your skin and he's not afraid to use it to his advantage.
It's clear that he wants an answer, but all you can do is sputter a few incoherent words before retreating back into your shell. You feel a mix of embarrassment and frustration, wishing you could come up with a clever come-back, but the only thing that's clear right now is that Price has you stumped.
"Sergeant?" He calls out to you teasingly, awaiting for your reply to his question.
"Mhm?" You can feel your ears slowly turning red as your Captain's teasing hits a nerve. You can't seem to quite meet his eyes, instead looking at the ground with an embarrassed blush. You fidget with the straps of your holster, unable to quite figure out how to respond.
"Wasn't it 'Dad' a second ago?" Captain Price repeated as he raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and confusion.
You blush in embarrassment as you realize he wouldn't let you get off easily withyour slip-up. You look down at the ground.
"I'm sorry, sir," You quickly clear your throat, hoping to regain your composure. Still unable to break your gaze from the floor, you mutter, "It won't happen again."
Suddenly, the cookie appeared in your line of vision that was still situated at the ground. You heard your captain sigh and tutted, drawing your attention back to him.
The cookie! The cookie?
He held the cookie out to you, a small smile playing on his lips as he waited for you to accept it. You were initially taken aback, feeling a surge of warmth and gratitude toward your captain.
"Didn't ask for an apology, kid," He said with a playful frown, seemingly amused by the situation. He took your hand and placed the cookie on it, his gaze locking onto yours. "Was just surprised is all, hm?"
"Still," You cleared you throat as straightened your posture and looked up at him, albeit still feeling the sting of embarrassment. "It's my bad."
"Mhm," He hummed softly and raised his hand up to your head. He gently pats your head affectionately, yet his hand ruffled your hair, leaving it disheveled. "Whatever floats your boat, kid."
The soft pat on your head sends shivers down your spine, and you give him a grateful smile.
"Thanks, Cap', again." You beemed up with a smile, raising the cookie to his vision.
He gives a small nod before turning to leave, leaving you with a sense of warmth and contentment that stays with you long after he's gone. You watch as he offered a small wave goodbye and you respond the same, feeling a sense of gratitude for his kindnesses and understanding.
You were about to take a bite out of the delicious cookie he had given you. But just as you were about to revel in the sweet taste, you heard his voice once more calling out to you and startling you.
Turning around, you saw him standing there infront of the doorway, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he continued to speak.
"Though," he began, his voice low but full of laughter spilling through, "The cake's delicious, kid. Would have it again, 10 out of 10," he finished with a wink, and you couldn't help but gape at his leaving form.
What.
"Motherfuc-"
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navi / masterlist
486 notes · View notes
dilf-lover99 · 1 year
Text
Playing Pretend | J.P.
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Pairing: James Potter x Female Gryffindor!Reader
Summary: When Reader's best friend James requests her assistance capturing the attention of Lily Evans, the two decide to make some changes to their relationship. Sort of.
Warnings: fluff, best friends to lovers / fake dating (two superior tropes), not much of a slow burn (sorry guys), a healthy amount of pining, maybe a teeny bit of angst if you squint, a kiss, i think that's it this is like the softest thing i've ever written
Word Count: 5.1k
a/n: i'm sorryyyyyy !!! i'm sorry i ghosted you, i promise it was an accident ! i've been working a TON lately, but i finally found a bit of time to write and i missed it so much. i hope this was worth the wait ! let me know what you think. p.s. love u lots<3
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There were three things in life of which you were certain.
The first is that, no matter how skeptical one may be, the sorting hat irrefutably knows best. Being sorted into Gryffindor on your first day at Hogwarts was the greatest thing that ever happened to you, it introduced you to the friends who became your family.
The second is that you will never, swear on Merlin’s beard, read a book you’ve borrowed from Remus in the bath; Some lessons are best learned after making mistakes.
The third, and most important, is as follows : James Fleamont Potter is, and always will be, your very best friend.
You’re confident that there’s nearly nothing in the world the two of you wouldn’t do for each other if asked.
James has always been there for you in times of need, with a comforting embrace or a ludicrously ill-advised joke. He always talks out your problems with you, agreeing with your side of the situation even when you think you’re in the wrong.
There’s not a single problem the two of you haven’t been able to overcome together.
You’ve also spent countless waking hours of your life pretending to hold a flicker of interest in the precise mixture of colours in Lily Evans’ eyes, the scent of her hair, or wether or not she laughed at James’ joke that day.
The price of friendship, you suppose.
“This is the year, (y/n), I can feel it!” Your bespectacled best friend announces from his position sprawled across your bed on his stomach.
You withhold the good-natured urge to roll your eyes, exhaling an small breath through your nose with a smile, “You say that every year, James.” Ceasing the previous circles you were spinning in your desk chair, you make eye contact with James and continue, “Though I admire your persistence, perhaps it’s time to give it a rest? Maybe take up another hobby? Clearly quidditch isn’t keeping you busy enough to leave Evans be.”
“Ha Ha.” James grumbles sarcastically. The two of you have conversations like this regularly, though your attempts to divert his interests have consistently proven futile. “It’s different this year. I’m different this year. I’m trying something new,” He slowly pulls himself up from his relaxed position, now sitting at the edge of the bed to face you directly, “If you agree to my plan, that is.”
“Well, that depends,” You hesitate, eyeing your best friend suspiciously. Over the course of your friendship you’ve always had a difficult time saying no to James, which has gotten you into more than your fair share of trouble.
“Is there any part of this plan that could result in our expulsion? Or worse- Will my hands be stained again? It took me weeks to get the dye off my fingers after your last so called plan.” 
Without recounting each and every detail, James’ last plan involved the two of you, a pint of florescent pink hair dye, and the head of an unsuspecting Severus Snape, and resulted in semi-permanent dye-stained hands and a rather stern talking-to from Dumbledore.
James laughs mirthfully at the memory, “Come on, people loved that! We loved that!”
“Yes, we did.” You agree with a grin despite yourself.
James throws a wink your way, shaking his head amusedly before speaking again, “No, this’ll be nothing like that. Entirely free of repercussions, I swear it.” His tone resembles that of when he’s asking you for a favour, and judging by the way he’s dancing around the words, you have a feeling you’re not going to welcome his idea with open arms.
“Alright, Potter. Out with it, will you?” You voice lightly, “It can’t be worse than any other plan you’ve had.”
“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.” He rushes out, the shadow of a blush forming evenly across his pale cheeks at his own words.
“O-kay,” You draw out, eyes wide, “Perhaps I was wrong.”
“I know it sounds mad, but hear me out.” He starts quickly, “I was talking to Pads about it and he was all ‘Maybe if you weren’t so available all the time, she’d actually want you around’” He lowers his voice an octave, a dramatized attempt at impersonating your shared friend, “And I know what you’re going to say, ‘Why would you take relationship advice from Sirius of all people’” His voice raises higher now as he butchers an impression of your own, “But he had a point! And I thought, well, I wouldn’t be available if I had a girlfriend, would I?” 
You’re unsure if you should interrupt him or not, equal parts amusement and disapproval swirl around in your brain as he speaks.
“But I couldn’t do that to a real girl, y’know?” If he notices the icy glare you shoot his way at this, he does a bang-up job pretending he doesn’t, “Just string her about whilst I’m in love with Evans- But I could pretend! And who better to pretend with than my own best girl?” He finishes with a smile so sweet you almost forget the preposterous nonsense he’s just spouted.
Almost.
“There are about ten things wrong with what you’ve just said- Eleven if you count that horrible impression of me! Merlin, James, do I really sound like that to you?” James chuckles at you, running his lithe fingers through the charming mess of his curls.
“Don’t answer that.” You speak before he has a chance to reply, abandoning your chair in favour of standing in front of him.
“You really have gone mad, haven’t you? What exactly do you think is going to happen? She’ll see us together and be overcome with jealousy? Leaving her no choice but to confess her undying love for you?” You highlight the absurdity of his proposition, poking fun with dramatic sighs and emphatic hand gestures.
“Well it sounds a bit nutty when you say it that way, with your sarcasm and the like, but yes. That’s what I’d like to happen.”
“It’s not going to happen, James.” You deadpan.
“Why not?”
“Because that’s not how it works!” You state, humour and disbelief mingling together, “If she doesn’t want you now, why’d she want you after you get a girlfriend? And if she did, would that really be the type of girl you’d fancy anyhow? A boyfriend-wanter?” 
James chuckles amusedly, completely missing the nuance of your words, “Boyfriend-wanter?” He echoes teasingly.
You sigh emphatically, taking a seat on the bed beside your best friend, “You’ve lost the plot, mate.”
James’ previous contentment is no longer at the forefront of his emotions, instead there’s a vulnerable sincerity that tugs at your heart strings with all its might. “Look, I know it’s a long shot, but if there’s even a chance of it working, I just- I have to try, (y/n),” His warm hazel eyes are boring directly into your own with a distinct sense of desperation as he mutters a final, “Please?”
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“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this, James.” Your voice wavers with nerves at the thought of walking hand-in-hand with James into the Great Hall where all your friends sit, blissfully unaware of the delusional plan James has concocted to win the affections of Lily Evans.
“Come on, (y/n), it won’t be so bad. You used to love holding my hand.” James jests with an irritatingly loveable grin, not-so-subtly referencing the ancient crush you harboured toward him in the beginning of your first year.
“Yes, very well, James. I had a crush on you when I was eleven. I also slept with a Beatles nightlight and cut the crusts off my toasts.” You’re starting to wonder how on earth you could’ve agreed to this when James grabs your hand, intertwining his slender fingers with your own and giving a gentle, reaffirming squeeze.
“Thank you for doing this. I know it’s barmy, truly, but it means everything that you’re willing to try.” His voice is softer than you’ve heard in a long time, and in the back of your mind you can’t help but think this is the boy you’d fancied all those years ago.
You squeeze his hand back assuringly, “I’d try anything for you.” You smile sincerely.
“Oh really? Should you have happened to change your mind about a certain prank involving-”
“Almost anything.” You interrupt with an amused roll of your eyes.
The two of you share another smile before turning toward the looming entryway to the Great Hall.
“Shall we, darling?” James emphasizes the final word teasingly.
“We’d best, before I change my mind, love.” You retort.
You’re familiar with the expression ‘so silent, you could hear a pin drop’ but you’ve never experienced anything of the sort. Until now, that is.
The moment you and James walk through the doors, all eyes are on the two of you. More specifically, all eyes are continuously moving from you, to James, to your intertwined hands, then back again.
In the two days since you agreed to James’ scheme, you’ve remained confident that it wouldn’t work, surely nobody would believe you went from best friends to being in a relationship overnight.
Your confidence was misplaced.
As the two of you walk closer to your usual spot at the Gryffindor table, your hand squeezes James’ tighter than you’d like to admit, painstakingly aware of just how many eyes are on you. You can hear the poorly concealed whisperings of each gossiping classmate you pass by, “Finally!” “See, I told you they were shagging.” “What does he see in her?” The latter may have stung just a bit.
“Alright?” James whispers close to your ear, fuelling another buzz of observations from your peers.
You nod your head perceptibly, a tad caught off guard from all the attention you’re receiving, “Yes, swell. You?”
“To be determined.” James tugs your hand gently, signalling you to stop walking as you’ve reached your destination at the Gryffindor table.
“Good morning.” You greet your friends with a smile in an effort to maintain normalcy. Taking your usual seat, Sirius is on your left and James sits to your right beside Remus. You promised James to keep the plan a secret from everyone, including your shared best friends, but with the way they’re looking at you now, you’re ready to spill your guts.
“Good morning? S’that it then?” Sirius starts incredulously, “The two of you leg it in here holding hands and we’re supposed to go about our day as normal?” 
“I think what he means to say,” Remus interjects, his tone soft, a welcome juxtaposition from Sirius’ brash one, “Is that this-” he gestures between you and James with a mild wave of his hand, “Is new. We hadn’t realized the two of you were… Romantically involved.” His statement ends as more of a question, a gentle probe to explain what’s going on.
You look to James, raising your brows questioningly as if to say you've created this plan, now you have to do the ground work.
He gets the message.
“It is a bit out of nowhere, isn’t it?” James smiles, not so subtly making eye contact with Lily, who’s sitting directly across the table, “We spent all these years as friends and never thought twice about it, um- But then…” He trails off, realizing he’s not half as good a liar as he’d hoped he was.
You close your eyes with a deep sigh, knowing it’s now your responsibility to make this believable.
James Potter and his bloody plans.
“It’s alright, James, love,” You speak up after he’s gone silent, “We can tell them.” He’s going to owe you for this, and you intend to cash in the favour for once, “I’ve fancied you as long as I’ve known you.”
Your friends are paying more attention to you now than they have to anything, ever, clinging onto your every word, “Bit embarrassing if I’m honest, cos’ you never really saw me that way.” 
You remember hearing once that the most believable lies stem from the truth, and though it was back in year one, and hardly went as deep as you’re leading on, this is a version of how you’d felt about James at one point in time.
You work hard to fight back a chuckle at the look of pity on Dorcas’s face as she takes in your words, “But, I guess after I finally stopped trying to get you to see me that way, that’s when you actually started to.” Now you’re just discussing the plan in plain sight, though your friends are drinking it up quicker than their pumpkin juice.
James squeezes your hand with a firm grip, as if to warn you not to say anything more and spoil his plan right in front of Lily.
But he’s also looking at you with a discernible note of gratitude in his eyes, never quite tiring of your knack for rescuing him in these situations.
“Yes, quite right, love, I’ve seen the light. Thank you all for tuning in, this concludes the interview portion of our breakfast. Now, over to Padfoot for the weather!” James voices deftly, eyes scanning Lily for any semblance of a negative reaction, and failing to hide his displeasure when all she offers in return is a bright smile and a soft “Congratulations, you two!”
That could’ve gone better.
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“Figures the first time I’ve a date to one of these things, he’s only going for another girl.” You voice to James in the other room as you struggle to reach the zip on the back of your dress. 
You’re joking, though it’s not lost on you that this is the only time someone’s asked you to be their date to a dance. But you aren’t inclined to waste the opportunity. You’ve picked out a lovely dress and your hair is behaving particularly graciously tonight.
“Come on, love, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of offers once our plan takes off. And tonight’s the night! I’ve a good feeling about it.” Ever the optimist, your best friend.
“Oh, bugger off!” You shout frustratedly after multiple unsuccessful attempts at zipping up.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you! I only meant-�� James’ panicked tone brings an instant smile to your face, all previous traces of dissatisfaction long gone.
“Not you, James, my dress. I can’t get the bloody zip to go up!”
“Oh,” He chuckles minutely, “Well c’mere then, let me help.” 
It’s a proper cliche, you think to yourself. Like something you’d see in a cheesy romance film, when the girl walks down the staircase in a fancy dress, everything’s suddenly in slow motion, and the lad’s just standing there thinking how am I just now realizing how beautiful she is?
It’s a proper bloody cliche, yet it’s exactly how you feel as you walk into the room and see James standing there in his dance attire.
His crisp white dress shirt is clinging faultlessly to his chest and arms, the muscles he’s defined playing quidditch showcasing themselves quite proudly, the black fabric of his dress pants pulled taught against his thighs. His mop of dark curls sits charmingly atop his head, a perpetual vision of captivating chaos. His rounded glasses are resting perfectly on the bridge of his nose, shimmering hazel eyes blinking delicately from behind them.
How are you just now realizing how beautiful he is?
“(y/n)?” James’ voice pulls you out of your reverie, and you’re thankful beyond words that he can’t hear your thoughts.
“Yes?” You clear your throat, simultaneously attempting to clear your mind.
“Turn around, love, I’ll fix your zip.”
Right.
His nimble fingers make quick work, sliding the zip from the small of your back to the top of the dress, a subtle trail of gooseflesh makes itself at home along the skin that’s been gently grazed by his own.
“There we are. Go on then, give us a twirl.” James’ playful voice sounds, you oblige good-naturedly and give a quick spin.
“That’s a lovely dress. Is it new?” His eyes scan your frame appreciatively, not quite as lengthy as the tour your own eyes had taken upon him moments ago, but you feel your chest grow tighter at the thought that, just maybe, he could be having one of those cliche moments too.
“As a matter of fact it is,” Your smile grows as you think back to the day before, when Dorcas dragged you and a reluctant Marlene to Diagon Alley to buy your outfits for the dance, “It’s her first dance with a date! Not just a date, a boyfriend. We have to pick the perfect dress.” She was far more excited than you were, especially considering it isn’t a real date, but her enthusiasm had made it a day to remember. “If Dorcas were here, you’d have just made her entire week.”
“Do you know what Lily’s wearing?” 
Not an unexpected question in the slightest.
What is unexpected, however, is the pang in your chest at it.
That’s new.
“No, I don’t. Sorry. ” You say, not particularly sorry at all.
“Are you alright?” James’ voice is laced with confusion at your sudden shift in mood.
Curse your best friend for knowing you so well.
“Mhm. Shall we go?” You place a smile back on your lips, taking care not to let it fall this time.
“After you, your majesty.” James answers in his most posh voice, gesturing toward the door and lowering his head in a mock bow.
It’s not real.
When you first agreed to James’ plan, this thought brought you comfort, peace, even. It’s not real, thank heavens, and it will be over before you know it.
Why does the thought feel so violent now?
Why is it tearing at the seams of your mind with each of his gentle touches and crooked smiles?
Why are you so reluctant to let go of James’ arm when you arrive at the dance?
And why have you spent the last twenty minutes sitting here, watching James watch Lily, as an unwelcome sense of envy blooms in your chest?
Because you wish it was real.
“Oh, come on! That was proper funny!” Sirius’s voice sounds from beside you, pulling you away from your internal revelations.
When did he get here?
“Was it?” You question. Your words come across sarcastic, but that’s a farce, you’ve no idea what he said.
“Yes, it was actually. You were just too busy making eyes at Prongs to notice.” 
And when did he get so observant?
“I was not.” You lie.
“Right,” Sirius starts, not believing you for a moment, “This is my life now, is it? My best mates’ll be too busy snogging to laugh at my jokes? What a cruel fate. Worse than death, really. Just put me out of my misery now.” He throws himself back into his chair melodramatically, posture now resembling a sickly figure in an old victorian painting.
What a drama queen.
Still, you feel the need to reassure him. Cutting off his theatrics, you place your hand on his bicep, giving a tender squeeze of affirmation, “Leave it out! I could never be too busy for you,” He straightens at that, lips lifting into a grin as you continue, “You just have to tell funnier jokes.” His grin disappears faster than it formed.
“Cheeky!”
You continue bantering back and forth, resulting in a fit of laughter that finally breaks James’ gaze from Lily. 
He focuses his attention on the two of you, unwilling to acknowledge the feeling blossoming in his chest when he sees your hand on Sirius, a brilliant smile having overtaken your face.
“Care to dance, love?” James questions, faster than you have time to process.
You remove your hand from Sirius’ arm, sparing a glance toward Lily. He’s trying to make her jealous, that’s why you’re here after all. But she’s not looking at you and James. In fact, she’s looking in another direction entirely.
“I’m alright mate, thanks. Take (y/n), though.” Sirius quips, ushering you onto your feet.
James guides you to the dance floor with a gentle hand on the small of your back, spinning you in a half circle to hold you properly once you’ve reached your destination.
Your heart is beating at an accelerated pace but you’re doing your damndest to hide it. “Is she looking?” You question softly, hiding any dejection from your voice.
“What’s that?” James asks.
You wonder how he didn’t hear you, his eyes having been glued to you since you started dancing. You were beginning to wonder if you had something on your face.
“Lily,” You start again, “Is she watching us?” You don’t know why you ask again, you’re not sure you want to know the answer.
“Oh. Yes-” James clears his throat, “Yeah, she’s looking.” 
Right.
His eyes never actually waver from your own. He doesn’t do much to pretend that he’s spotted her in the crowd or discerned wether she was looking or not. To be honest, he’d forgotten about the plan for a moment.
The song ends but before you can move from James’ hold he pulls you closer, “We should keep dancing.” He mumbles, then continues, almost as an afterthought, “Y’know, make it look more realistic.” 
But he couldn’t care less about that right now, he’s simply not ready for you to leave his arms.
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It’s been six weeks since the plan started, an entire month and a half of pretending.
And you don’t think you can pretend any more.
Pretending to be James’ girlfriend isn’t the hard part. In fact, it’s the best part. Countless days of holding his hand in the Great Hall and resting your head upon his shoulder in the Gryffindor common room. Those moments are purely blissful.
Pretending that your feelings for James aren’t real? That’s the hard part.
In the beginning, James had started calling you love or darling for show, a way for you to appear more like a real couple. He must have grown accustomed to it, because they’re all he seems to use anymore, even when nobody else is around.
And your heart still skips a beat each and every time you hear it.
Somehow, it’s become routine for you to do your homework while watching his quidditch practices, despite the fact that Lily has only ever seen you there once. You tried explaining this but all James had said was “That’s alright, having you here helps me play better.”
Now you attend every practice.
You don’t know how to respond when your friends tell you how happy they are that you and James have gotten together, that they can tell how deeply you care for him. They’re right, partially anyway, you do care for James deeply.
But you’re not together. Not for real, anyway.
And it’s driving you mad.
Which is why you’ve decided that it has to end.
You’ve been thinking about this for weeks, ever since the night of the dance, when you realized you wanted more. But you weren’t sure what to tell James.
If you tell him the truth, that you’ve fallen for him, it could end your friendship, which is a chance you’re not willing to take. But you’ve also never been good at lying to him, he knows you far too well.
You’ve finally decided on a good old-fashioned half-truth.
You’re going to tell him that the plan hasn’t been working, that if he wants to get Lily’s attention he’ll have to go about it another way. Spending another year watching him pine over Lily won’t be easy, but it can’t be any harder than this; Seeing what a wonderful boyfriend James would be, being so close to the boy you want but never truly being able to have him.
The soft click of your door notifies you of James’ arrival. Taking a final deep breath, you find your eyes meeting his own, willing yourself not to get lost in them and lose your resolve.
“Hello, love. How was your day?” James questions earnestly, taking a seat in your desk chair, his eyes hold an undetectable glimmer of adoration as they take in your figure.
“I think we should break up!” You rush out at once, afraid if you wait another second you’ll chicken out again.
James’ eyebrows pull together in a wistful display of despondence, “What? Why?” His voice is rather melancholy and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was being broken up with for real. 
You sigh dispiritedly, taking a seat at the edge of your bed as you face James.
“Think about it. The plan isn’t exactly working, is it? I mean, when was the last time you even talked to Lily?” 
James is quick to defend, “We’ve just spoken yesterday! In the common room, remember? When you and Moony were talking about that smarty-pants book, she was all ‘your girlfriend’s too good for you, potter’, and I told her she was right. Surely you remember that?”
You fight back a smile at the memory, of course you remember that, you think of his words about as often as you breathe.
“James that was last week.”
He stops for a moment, counting the days on his fingers before deciding you're correct, “Okay… Alright, well, that doesn’t mean we should break up! We’ll just- We just have to try harder.”
You shake your head in opposition, but he speaks again before you have the chance.
“We can make it work, I know it.” James’ voice holds a perceptible air of desperation.
He knows you’re not really dating, right?
“Come on, James, it’s for the best. Surely you’re tired of me by now.” You joke, trying to appear unaffected by the nuance of your words.
“No.” James voices immediately, sounding as though he’s offended at the very idea of it, “I’m not tired of you. I could never be tired of you.”
“Have you any idea how much harder you’re making this?” You mumble under your breath, though it wasn’t quiet enough to go unheard by James.
He’s looking at you softly, almost tenderly and he lowers his voice a bit, no longer on edge, “What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Try again.” James tilts his head, pushing his glasses up when they attempt to slide from the bridge of his nose.
“I just don’t think we should do it anymore, that’s all.”
“That’s all?” He knows very well that’s not all. He can tell by the way you’re avoiding eye contact that there’s more to it.
“Yep! So what do you say, friends?” You finally chance eye contact, holding your hand out to shake his own in an effort to regain control of the situation.
His hand grabs your own and holds it delicately.
“What aren’t you saying?”
“Nothing! I’m saying plenty of things. Loads of things. Things, things, things!”
“(y/n).” He states plainly, though he’s unable to hide the glimmer of amusement in his eyes, “If there’s something going on, you can tell me. We can tell each other anything.” He’s pleading with you now.
And you aren’t sure if it’s his words, or the way he speaks them, or the fact that his hand is still grasping your own, but you’re unable to keep the words from tumbling out of your mouth.
“I can’t keep pretending, alright? You’re driving me mad.” Both of your eyes widen at your confession, and James takes his hand back smoothly.
“Oh,” He clears his throat, a teasing undertone returning to his voice, though you can discern a hint of sadness in his eyes, “It’s you who’s tired of me then, innit?”
“What? No! That’s not-” You sigh frustratedly, standing from the bed and beginning to pace a small path back and forth on the floor, “James, if it were possible for me to be tired of you, it would’ve happened a long time ago.”
He breathes out a chuckle at this, visibly relaxing once he realizes he must’ve misunderstood.
You stop pacing, looking at James as he stands up in front of you.
“Can we start this whole thing over? It’s gotten a bit confusing if I’m honest.” You question.
“No, it’s okay. You were right, it’s best we call it off now.” James starts, adding quietly, “Before anyone gets hurt.”
Your gaze snaps up to his own, confusion etched upon your features, “Why- Why would anyone get hurt?” You swallow thickly, ignoring the sudden uptick of your pulse.
James sighs, bringing a hand up and running it through his curls, “Because it’s true. What you said before, about the plan not working. It’s not. And If I’m being honest, I couldn’t care less. I haven’t given a thought to the plan, or Lily, in weeks.” 
You know he can’t mean it the way it sounds, he can’t mean it the way you want him to mean it. But your heartbeat is racing rampant at the possibility that he does.
“And it’s why I don’t want to end things,” He continues, “Because, the way I see it, if something makes you sad when it’s ending, it must’ve been pretty wonderful while it was happening.” He’s rambling, but the contents of his words, and the fact that they’re directed at you, makes you want him to go on forever.
“You’re my best friend, and you always will be, I swear it! But, I just… I can’t help but want more.”
You’ve heard enough.
Well actually, you could never hear enough, but you’ve heard enough to propel yourself forward, urgently pressing your lips to James’ own.
He wasn’t expecting it, but he doesn’t waste a moment once he realizes what’s happening. 
James places his calloused hands on either of your cheeks, gently pulling you closer to himself. He smiles slightly into the kiss when you bring one of your own hands up to the nape of his neck and run your fingers softy through the curls there.
The kiss feels as though it’s lasted forever, and yet you never want it to end. But your lips part a fair distance as you rest your foreheads together in contentment, taking a moment to catch your breath.
“So that’s what you meant when you said I was driving you mad.” James teases, donning a grin so beautiful your heart could burst just from looking at it.
“Yes, I suppose it is.” You try to sound annoyed but you’re sure you’re missing the mark, wearing a blinding smile of your own.
“Well that settles it then,” James loops his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to his body, “No more pretending.” His delicate lips meet your own once more in another intoxicating embrace.
Note to self : James Fleamont Potter’s plans don’t always end in disaster.
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2K notes · View notes
willowser · 10 months
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ma’am i only found your blog yesterday but your ex hubby bakugo got me in a trance, and i hsjsksksksksk, but ill present you: ‘drunk ex husband bakugo’ i- i mean he would be so silly and calls you at 1am to tell you how much he loves you and the little one and how much he misses you, babbles away all the nonsense else, but the way he murmurs and mumbles silly things on the phone got you giggle at midnight (and sad at the time because holy hell you miss him too), then you have to talk him out of it to go home and sleep, he listens, he goes home, yeah, and 10 minutes later he shows up at your front door (still hella woozy) because he is just that stupidly drunk and he has always wanted to go home to you :((
ANON ??? OUCH ????? THIS MAKES ME SAD AKFJSODHAIA
i've always wanted to do drunk ex-whathaveyou bakugou that shows up at your door too late 🥺 but in this instance !! i feel like. you get a few calls in the middle of the night, but they're very short ?? like you wake up to your phone ringing and it's his number, so you're reaching for it, but it stops before you can answer. and you're thinking, "darn i must have slept through the first few rings," and as you're typing out a text to check in with him, he calls again for like two rings, and then it stops. and then he calls and it rings for one and then it stops.
and so now you're like — okay maybe he's butt-dialing me LOL but he tries again like 20 minutes later and you're so tired of the ring-tone that you answer it as fast as you can and just listen, waiting to see if you can hear his voice distantly, as if you're down in his back-pocket.
but he grumbles, "—the fuck? hello?"
and you ask him, "uh hey, have you been trying to call me?" but you're almost certain he doesn't hear you, because half-way through you are able to hear the loud background music and then the sound of shuffling, his grumpy lil "—the fuck off me, 'm—shut th'hell up—'m on the DAMN PHONE!"
clearly, there's a struggle, so you just kind of wait, worried you're about to hear your ex-husband get nerfed while on patrol maybe ?? but then the music drops away and is replaced by a barely-there scratchy wind, and he's breathless when he asks if you're still there.
"yeah, no, i'm still here. is...everything okay?"
he huffs, so heavy into the phone that the static almost hurts your ears. "whadda'you think?"
it's bitter enough that you blink in the darkness of your room, before glaring at the opposite wall. "excuse me?"
"fuck, 'm sorry, i—fuck." he inhales audibly, stuttering. "i'm sorry."
you frown, head turning; he sounds lazy, like he can't be assed to speak properly, and he's speaks impolitely on the regular — but it's never this bad. all his words sound curved, looped together, and he's shuffling too much on the other end, sniffing loud and mumbling to himself. almost like he's—
"are you...drunk?"
you're expecting an immediate no, even if evidence is proving otherwise, because he's not a drinker. occasionally, when he's out for dinner or at one of kirishima's backyard barbecues, but it's so infrequent that his tolerance is low, for someone of his size. it doesn't take much to have him a little sloshed, and he hates it, not only for the feeling the day after, but because his mouth tends to run. more than usual.
"it's that fuckin'—dunce head ass 'n his—stupid piano teeth, tape-face—"
kaminari and sero, you think. you think.
"'n i didn't want to fuckin' come to shit like this, ever. because they're so 'blah fuckin' blah, get over yourself', as if i'm—whatever. dumbasses." he pauses, and before you can finish piecing together what he's trying to say, he continues. "'n i'm not even like them, because they're fucking losers, and i don't—i don't even want that chick's number, okay? i don't fuckin' care, okay?"
your heart throbs dangerously, suddenly swollen and too tender, at the very thought of him and someone else, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut tight. "bakugou—"
"bakugou?" he cuts you off loudly, offended. "'r'you fuckin'—sorry, shit. bakugou? you're a goddamn bakugou—"
you have the throw the blankets off your lap so that you can hurry to your bedroom door, to shut it before hissing at him. "i'm not gonna sit here and get cussed out, katsuki. we're divorced."
"sorry! fuck, i'm—i mean—sorry, sorry. 'm not—it ain't at you, y'know? you know that, right?"
and you do. you do know that. it's just how he talks, he would tell you, and he would cut down on it for a little while before it inevitably came back and — it just hurts, at times. to be on the receiving end of his hottest flame.
"yeah," you tell him quietly, leaning against the door when he sighs. "yeah, i know."
"she—" he groans, deep and frustrated. "she fuckin'—god, sorry. she did that t'me all th'time, y'know? 'cut the fuckin' attitude, katsuki,' 'n then fuckin' SMACK!" you can hear the sharp sound of his slap, metallic, like he's against a lamp post or something. "but then she's comin' up t'my room, all like, 'y'know i love you' 'n—how 'm i suppos' t'know that stuff?"
he's never really spoken about his childhood; his parents, yes, through comments here and there about how they irritated him, but nothing serious. you've seen firsthand how tumultuous his relationship with his mother is, and she still smacks him around, but he's big now, much bigger than she is; you never considered what it was like for him, when he was younger.
even if he is drunk, even if he won't remember tomorrow — you still want to be there for him.
you realize he's waiting for an answer, with how long he's quiet, and you shrug to yourself before gently saying, "i don't know, katsuki. it sounds like it would have been very confusing."
"yeah, i mean—" he exhales slowly, though the end trails off into a growl, as if he's grown frustrated again. "i would never fuckin' hit you."
"i know that, katsuki, and i've never thought you would. and i would never hit you, either, y'know?"
"yeah," he repeats, and you can hear him swallowing, the sound so thick that you think he might choke. "i'd never hit you, or—or—hey, where is he? i wanna talk to 'im."
at the mention of your son, you peek down the hall to make sure his door isn't open, that he's not snooping around like you've caught him doing lately — but it's still mostly closed, and you don't hear any little feet against the hardwood.
you squint at your phone, blinded momentarily at the blue-light as you check the time. "it's the middle of the night, katsuki, he's asleep."
"did he have a good day?"
"yeah, he—"
"tell me about it. tell me th-the whole thing."
and — you do, as he listens and grunts and murmurs little things you don't catch. occasionally, he'll groan, really quiet like he's trying not to cry, and it's after the third time he asks to speak to him again that you finally decide to call him an uber.
and you put in his home address !!! but not thirty minutes later, you are sort of roused out of sleep because he's lightly knocking on your door, in the middle of the night, and you have to get up and go check so he doesn't wake your son up !!!!
and he's probably a MESS, all red-faced and SAD, rubbing at his eyes, almost tripping into your house because he was leaning against the door. it's not even worth arguing about getting him to his actual home because it's late and he's being a little loud, so you just give him some water and make him lay down on the couch and — he's out like a light right away LOL
but. you wake up a few hours later to him laying in your bed, on top of the blankets, his pants are on the floor but his shirt and jacket are still on LOL and he's not quite touching you, but if you jostle even a little bit, his face will press into your back 🥺 you don't know when he got up and came into your room, but he was sober enough to be quiet about it, and when you wake up in the morning, he's already re-dressed and sitting with your son at the kitchen table 🥺
WAAAAHHH i made this so sad. i'm so sorry akjfajfajaljfa he's such a BABY !!! god help me, bc if it really was me, i would take him back in a heartbeat LOL
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cloudninetonine · 6 months
Text
A Player's Aid: Chapter 15
Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe
A/N: Hey guys! Finally more APA :))) There's been slight editing to this chapter as it got too long so those memes I made are a little incorrect :')))
Warnings: Bad language, Talk of conflict, talking of fighting (both verbal and phsyical), mentions of past pain, Tears spoilers (Purah Pad)
Waking up the next morning had never felt so draining.
The muscles in your eyelids fought desperately to stay closed, eyes stinging from the sun’s light with a tiring red edging your sclera and dark bags hanging in a show of your exhausted expression. God, you were tired. Void of any energy, your body felt a mere husk in the light of the morning sun as you lazily glanced around the entirety of the area, gaze falling once again to the fire pit that had been moulded by the boys the day before.
The scene differed in this instance, the sleeping bodies that once surrounded those burning embers were now animated frames ambling about for their morning routines; packing for the oncoming journey that awaited you and others simply standing for the sake of standing, chatting amongst themselves while their residential cook got to work on breakfast.
God, the idea of walking for another ten hours only brought a sickening sensation to your gut, churning with an audible curdle that caught the attention of some closer to you.
Hyrule’s face broke out in relief as he crouched down just beside you, his hand coming to gently cup your cheek. “I feared you wouldn’t wake until late afternoon, how do you fare?”
Closing your eyes your body naturally sought the comfort the brunette could so easily give you. “I’m tired.”
The back of his palm pressed gently against your forehead. “Are you ill? You do not feel warm.”
“No, just tired, Rulie.” Just wanting to curl up in a ball, cover your head and hoping to stay in the comfort of your blanket and floppy sleep mat.
Nearly dying would do that to a person.
“The Champion is preparing something easy for your stomach.” Time had stepped a little closer, not yet decked out in his usual intimidating chestplate and chainmail skirt as he leaned down in a similar fashion to your impromptu nurse. “He expected possible ailment or fatigue- tell me, do you think you will be able to journey today?”
The look Hyrule sent the eldest was smouldering, bubbling hot anger with a side of daring. “You can clearly see, they are not.”
The blonde sighed. “They can speak for themself, traveller-”
“Oh? Is that right? Is that what they did when you thrust your little plan onto them?” Your eyebrows furrowed at those words, glancing between the two in a quizzical manner as you watched the hero practically spit pure spite. “Or did you even let them speak? Just assumed they would be so eager to please you and would sacrifice their life for the sake of your precious theory?”
Ah, now you got it. Understanding the weight behind his actions, you knew it would have taken Time a while to finally bring forward what he did. He was a noble man, one able to admit his faults and wrongs in the faces of the many, that was the vibe you got from him anyway- and you were right. It came soon, sooner than you had expected but here was the proof right before your very eyes.
A very angry Hyrule.
If you knew he was going to throw such burning words you would have told the eldest hero that it best this secret lay low.
“Traveller!” Twilight snapped, walking forward- Oh? Is that why you felt a little more lonely that morning? Such a shame, Wolfie was so comfy. “Watch your tongue!”
Hyrule’s head snapped back. “Just like you watched your own? You just love to lick your ancestor’s boots, don’t you, ranch-hand?”
The whole group gaped- Time included.
Oop. Gagged.
“So eager to please the man you let sleeping dogs lie?” Twilight flinched at that. “You make me sick. Both of you do.”
Tension rose from 0 to 100 real quick. The expressions on everyone’s face held similar tones of surprise and nerves at the aggressive growl that their usual passive and caring healer held. You didn’t like it, not one bit, you hated the very obvious disgust that Hyrule plastered on his face as he looked between two of the oldest heroes, his brothers. 
Glancing back at Wild, you expected him to react- nothing. The blonde continued to stir the cooking cauldron with a grouchy pinch to his lip.
Him too?
Legend’s words seemed to grow truer and truer with each passing day, at least to your eyes. You in no way wanted to cause a wedge between these men, this group of heroes who shared the same name and adopted an unyielding affection towards each other from the hardships that they all faced. You didn’t want to drive them apart, to drag any away from their beautiful bond just because of mistakes. A mistake. A stupid mistake made by a man who held the weight of the world on his shoulders.
You refused to be the person that Legend so strongly believed you to be.
“Watch your mouth, Link.” Hyrule paused, turning back to look at your hardened expression- you didn’t want to be rude to the man, you had come to care about him so, but if it was your job to put him in his place then so be it. “You have every right to be upset but you shouldn’t say such horrible things to your friends.”
Time seemed surprised; Twilight looked surprised; Hyrule was surprised.
“Everything turned out okay.” God, would they stop staring at you? You hated being acknowledged. “He needed to know something important and he got his answer. Yeah, it was a stupid and shitty thing to do but for the sake of literally billions of people I would let him do it a hundred times if it meant it had you guys one step closer to defeating the Shadow.”
Silence.
“...Are you listening to yourself?” He asked, not venomous but certainly not kindly. “You could have died, (Name). Died because of his selfish little want-”
“It’s not selfish if he was thinking about the well-being of others-”
“Stop defending him!” You jumped a little at his voice, blinking wide with a look of surprise burned into your features at his own panicked eyes. “Stop. Stop putting yourself below others like you’re some insect in the mud, you are better than that-”
“You don’t fucking know me!”
The yell echoed through the air, sharp as it sliced the tension similar to a butcher knife with fresh meat, the others around the camp turning all eyes on you as you pushed your body up, your finger pointed right in the face of the traveller. Gaze burning, slightly wet with tears as trembling emotions swam through your bloodstream with repressed memories gnawing at the back of your mind.
“You don’t know where I come from, you don’t know who my family are, nor my friends or who the hell I even am!” The scream from yesterday had torn at your throat leaving an uncomfortable hoarse feeling as you yelled, voice cracking from the strain. “Don’t speak like you fucking know me, Link! You bloody well don’t! For all you know, I could have deserved to die on that day!”
Everyone flinched; Sky stepped forward.
“Now isn’t that going a little too far-”
“Shut up, Sky!”
He fell back, sharing a look with Four at your yell.
Turning back to Hyrule’s expression you almost faltered. He looked like a kicked puppy, face fallen, eyes wide with hurt and confusion with his hands up in surrender- he didn’t want this and neither did you, but hey, maybe this would get Legend to back off if Hyrule decided to avoid you after this. “Don’t you ever assume my character. You don’t know it, we met a week ago for fuck's sake! Do yourself a fucking solid and don’t ruin your damn relationships over this damn burden.”
With not much room for an exit, you collapsed back into your bedroll and dragged the blanket over your head, blocking out the view of them all in an effort to hide your wobbling lip and misty eyes. You hated confrontation, you hated making people upset, and seeing Hyrule look so broken over your yelling only made you feel like dog shit. How could you talk to your hero like that? Such a kind, humble man who only wanted what was best for you?
Here you were, acting so childish because he cared.
You turned your back to him, not that it mattered being covered by the comforter, but you needed to hide yourself even further and to you, this was the only way how.
Hide. Hide like the coward you were.
There was movement- the sound of footsteps in grass and the gentle call of one of the boys, the concerning, soft “traveller-” only squeezing at your heart, tears running down your cheeks at the thought of Hyrule wandering away.
There was more movement, more talking but you didn’t budge. You stayed there, curled into a ball with your mind only focused on the feeling of melancholy as those things happened around you. Even when Hyrule returned, even when Wild shook you gently to eat breakfast and when a group of footsteps collectively began to move back towards the castle, a lessening silence hanging over you and another soul hovering around the camp. Curled, still silently crying.
----------
“They didn’t mean that.”
The traveller’s head lifted slowly, glancing over to the Hero of the Wild with eyes still dim as the Champion kept his slacking pace, the others near yards ahead.
“You don’t know that.” The ache in his chest still present, the brunette kept his gaze to the dirt of the castle path. “The emotion in their voice was very heavy.”
The blonde spared him a sympathetic glance. “A lot has happened to them these past few days- I don’t think they meant the malicious tones.”
“...”
To see such raw emotion directed towards the fairy boy certainly wasn’t something fun. Hard on his heart, it weighed down all the way to the dark pit of his stomach as your words from that morning replayed in his head like a broken record. 
“You don’t even know me!”
It was a harsh hiss echoing through his head with every step. Every lasting memory in his mind taunting him as he thought about that guiding light back then. 
So bright, so mirthful and so wise- you followed him everywhere in the place of his courageous heart, motivating him at every turn. You helped him through puzzles, you sang his praises through every battle and tended to his wounds in the evening glow by the dancing fire while telling tales of old- you knew of the old hero too, his predecessor and even his predecessor’s predecessor. You had been with him for more than just those two journeys, no, you had been there for him for lifetimes.
And now here you were. Still bright, still mirthful and still wise- but your mind fogged at the mention of your honoured title. To you, you were not his guide, held so highly in the light of his eyes, but the burden cast upon the shoulders of the heroes, on top of the already heavy duty of protecting Hyrule.
“We don’t really know them…do we?” Hyrule’s voice was small, hesitant to speak the words. “We know a version of them that has seemed to be lost to time but-....is that really them, back there? Our Guide?”
Hyrule had doubted in those past few days, of course he had. You may have had their voice but that did not mean you were his guide- maybe he had been mistaken that day? Caught up in the shadows of sweet memories hearing the kindness and care that honeyed your words. Did he really know you?
“...I don’t know.” Wild’s eyes stared ahead, focused on the backs of the many other heroes. “But I do know this- they care for us, just like our guide did.”
The brunette glanced over, a feeling washing over him at the light that sparkled in the reflection of the blonde’s eyes- glowing in the sun, they resembled the beauty of a blue sapphire as he continued.
“It’s all I can see. In their eyes, in their actions and in their words, I don’t remember the last time I had ever seen such an emotion after finally waking from my century of sleep- handled with such softness.” He sighed, blissful, “And I know they don’t remember, I know they may not even be who I long for- but still, they feel the same. They feel like home. Like a bed after a hard day's work and I feel safe, brother.”
…Hyrule knew that feeling. He knew exactly what he was talking about. The traveller felt the same around you, felt that long awaited sense of comfort and stability that came with your mere presence. It was why your words felt like a dagger in his chest, your anger sharper than any blade that scathed his skin.
“Those nights ago, when I said it hurt that (Name) did not remember, I meant those words but- not as much as I expected. I am a new man, one born from our time together and from being with all of you. I want them to experience the new me and I want to experience the new them- make new memories.”
Hyrule wanted that too- he wanted you to know the new him. Know how your influence had changed him for the better.
Wild’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Hyrule shared a look with him, understanding. “...I pushed them a little, didn’t I?”
“You were upset but yes, I believe so.”
Hyrule released a wet laugh, rubbing at his eyes. “I will apologise once we return.”
“Good plan, brother of mine.”
----------
“Are you going to stay underneath this blanket for the rest of the day?”
The glow of Gilda’s magic was calming, a forest green that hummed with the magic of old as she laid comfortably against your chest. She had joined you a little after the boys had left, fighting her way underneath the heavy fabric of your duvet to see your face still wet with tears after your ‘confrontation’ earlier that day. The fairy did not press you, only stayed a quiet presence- well, until now.
“Yeah maybe,” you croaked, sniffling slightly, “maybe I’ll just stay here and die like I deserve.”
The fairy’s wings fluttered gently, “don’t say stuff like that.”
“I shouted at Hyrule-”
“My brother will not collapse over some words said in anger.” You looked down at her as she shifted, her eyes catching yours through the soft glow of her magic. “Even if you were the person to say it- my brother has gone through worse hardships than being yelled at.”
You felt tears once again grow in your eyes. “But I was still so rude and he was just trying- he-”
Gilda shushed you gently, crawling up to your cheek and wiping at your eyes gently while you whimpered. “Oh Guide, the legends were true about your bleeding heart, it seems.”
You blinked in confusion, voice wobbly with confusion. “Legends-”
“(Name)? Are you okay?” Sky’s voice caught your attention, muffled by the comforter around your head. “....do you want to talk about it?”
No. No you did not, but you didn’t seem to have much of a choice when Gilda quickly flew up and dragged the blanket off your face to reveal to the Skyloftian knight the internal conflict that currently raged in your own head. A dirty trick by the dancing green wisp, your hand swiped to grab her but she had already zipped away to Epona and hid in the strands of her beautiful platinum blonde mane.
Bitch.
“...I’m fine.” A sight to behold, a mess of snot and tears as you laid in your bedroll, “I don’t need to talk.”
Sky paused before readjusting himself, the piece of wood he had been gently carving settled onto his lap along with his carving knife. “....do you need to eat?”
You glanced over.
“Sometimes when I’m upset I just need to fill up my stomach- pumpkin soup usually does the trick.”
“...are you asking me if I’m hangry, Link?”
“....I think?” He shrugged his shoulders, gesturing with his head towards the cauldron of food that Wild had left. “Would you like me to make you a bowl?”
You laid there for another moment, considering your options for just a few passing seconds before finally pushing your body up into a seated position with a small nod. “Yes please.”
It was…awkward. The man stayed quiet through the whole ordeal, just spooning some simple morning porridge into a bowl and handing it over to your awaiting hands. You thanked him quietly, sitting back with your eyes focused on the soft meal so as to not catch his gaze, as you could feel his stare still focused on your hunched figure.
You knew you couldn’t just wallow in this self-pity for the rest of the day, but it felt like the only familiarity to you after being away from home for so long. It was like greeting an old toxic friend after a ghostly parting, you couldn’t quite dismiss them but you did not want to welcome them in any shape or form. However, after already so long, the rest of the Chain now away in that castle of darkness and pain- you knew you couldn’t run from your own actions forever.
You started off slow. “I’m sorry.”
Sky hummed but you still refused to look his way. “For what I said earlier- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”
“That’s alright-”
“No, no it’s not alright.” You raised your head, you couldn’t hide from this. “I didn’t want to be interrupted but it was still wrong of me to tell you to shut up, I’m sorry for how I said it.”
“But not what you said?”
“....I needed to finish what I was saying earlier….I didn’t want to, but it had to come out before it became something worse than it was.”
The knife against the wooden carving gently chiselled further along its surface, a shape being moulded from the small piece of timber the further along Sky worked. It was interesting to see him actually craft, in Skyward Sword it was only ever hinted that the man liked to do such hobbies, and never in your life would you think you would be able to see Link himself actually whittle right in front of you.
“...what are you making?”
“A remlit,” looking closer, you could see the two giant ears to the cat-like creature in full. “An animal from my era- they’re quite sweet usually but in the night they would become temperamental.”
“...” You knew that a little too well, dodging too many attacks from those little shits while trying complete missions on the mainland of Skyloft. 
“My instructor, Mr Horwell, he used to say that the reason they would get temperamental was because they would bottle up every negative emotion in the day and let it out during the night- as everyone slept they would rage, and whoever would come across them would deal with the consequences..” You watched another wooden flake fall onto his lap as he carefully sculpted the face. “But they were kind creatures, purring and pawing the next day with love in their eyes. They never did want to cause harm, but sometimes it’s just inevitable. That did not mean they were cruel creatures- they were still worthy of love.”
“...ah.” You weren’t quite sure what to say. You knew where the knight was coming from, you could decipher the metaphor he so smoothly hid under the words of his old instructor and felt appreciation for his subtle attempt to make you feel better- everyone had bad days, sometimes the wrong people could be hurt from them but that did not mean you were a bad person. You could fix what you had damaged. “....thank you, Link.”
His smile was cute, lips upturning with ocean blue eyes warm with a beautiful kindness. “For what? I was just repeating the words of an old professor, that’s all.”
You huffed a laugh, “yeah, sure.”
Sky brought the remlit carving to his lips and gently blew at the statue, ridding it of any remaining shavings before gently grabbing your hand and placing the figure in your palm. “Please, have it. I have many more back in my own home.”
“Oh you don’t have to-”
“I insist.”
After a moment’s hesitation you carefully brought it up higher to inspect the beautiful detail that Sky had put into the carving.
…you needed to apologise to Hyrule.
-----------  
“Well, that was uneventful.”
“You could say that again.” Wind moaned, trudging behind Warriors’ form with a disgruntled look on his face. “The Shadow couldn’t even bother to stay? We just trekked over a whole fucking castle for nothing!”
“Language, sailor.” The captain’s quip wasn’t as fast as usual, a tired drip to his tone yet his disappointment did not yield. “What have I told you about your unnecessary curses?”
The young boy’s mouth opened, his eyes swirling with a devious intent only for his lips to slam shut at the look that the eldest of the group sent him. “Be calm, sailor, I don’t think now is the time.”
Wind deflated and that was that from him.
The castle search was deemed tedious- it was empty. Every corner of the palace swept proved  vacant, only the webbing of the hulking arachnids left behind, with the few remains of the usual skulltula drops that they only strayed away from- the men were overflowing in materials and a mere monster claw here and there wasn’t the biggest of discoveries that they cared to deal with.
So, after a few hours of wandering, investigating, and turning up seemingly more empty-handed compared to how they were when they entered- the boys left. It wasn’t that late when they had, mid afternoon with the sun still fairly high in the baby blue sky, puffy clouds dotting the expanse of colour with a calming silence as they continued to trek the dirt path leading up the famous Hyrule Castle.
Hyrule’s fingers unconsciously fiddled with the material of his vambrace, nails scratching against the old, weathered leather with the tips of his fingers pressing against the seams. The nerves were stronger now, thoughts of returning to the camp causing uncomfortable palpitations that almost mimicked sharp talons digging into the beating muscle with a cruel vigour that only seemed to make the panicked beating worse-
“Traveller.” Wild’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, “it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
Hyrule ignored his reassurance. “Do you think they’re still upset?”
“Brother-”
“I don’t know how I’ll be able to resolve this- what could I even say?” Had he not already been walking the brunette would have been violently pacing, his footprints making dents in the dirt. “I know I need to apologise for pushing but what could I possibly say-”
“Link.” Tightening his grip, Wild tugged the man back before he could push himself into a dead sprint- he was always a good runner. “You won’t know until you face them- let’s not get in over our own heads, aye?”
However, Wild was never really good at comforting others and by Hylia did he feel awkward in his attempt.
Hyrule bit nervously at his nails, pupils shrinking at the sight of the camp growing bigger and bigger, along with your hunkered figure beside the Skyloftian Knight with an easier expression compared to that morning. Ah, his heart seemed to relax at that, maybe this would be easier?
Your eyes turned to him and suddenly he felt like that little 10-year-old on his way to face the incarnation of Evil in his dungeon of destruction and darkness.
You weren’t Ganon, of course you weren’t but the shadowing feelings of insecurity and doubt made him want to run like you were.
The two of you stood to greet them all, Sky moving to talk to Time as the eldest moved closer but you pretty much rushed past them all, not bothering to glance at the others as your eyes stayed focused on the brunette and blonde duo with a cocktail of emotions swirling in your gaze. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at, unable to decipher the intentions behind them, when you had finally stopped just a few paces before them, awkward but not backing down.
“....Can we talk for a few minutes?” You glanced between them, “Both of you? I think there’s something we need to talk about.”
You left no room for argument as you quickly grabbed their hands and began to drag them away. The many others turned to look at your trio quizzically as you rushed off into the haze of trees surrounding your camp, wandering a distance further enough so the others wouldn’t hear your talk as you finally turned to the boys, standing there awkwardly with a look similar to constipation as you tried to figure yourself out.
Moments of silence passed.
You finally opened your mouth-
“I’m sorry-”
“No.”
Hyrule blinked, glancing to Wild who shrugged in confusion as you cleared your throat, fidgeting nervously on the spot, your hand dived into your pocket to toy with the small remlit. “No, I’m sorry- you shouldn’t say sorry. Well, not to me maybe Time, and Twilight- but that’s not the topic of the moment. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for snapping at you, I’m also sorry for the fact I probably look like I’m ready to pass a kidney stone- leave the questions till after Wild- I find it hard to apologise about things that present themselves as moral dilemmas. I feel like I was right about what I said but the way I said it wasn’t right- which leads me to saying this.”
Grasping their hands, you brought them together in an action of care, thumbs gently running over the skin of the back of their hands. Hyrule’s was softer compared to Wild’s, the champion’s skin marred with burns from those guardians that long century ago- you brushed it with care.
“I….I don’t remember.” The weight on your shoulders seemed to lessen, but you weren’t quite there yet; you continued. “I don’t remember a thing about being the guide. I don’t remember your journeys, I don’t remember the stories you talk about and I just don’t remember being your guide. I’m not sure if it’s some mental block from being from another world, or my memories were taken after finishing your games- hell, I don’t even know if I am the guide. I know you guys seem so sure but if I was someone this important I’d remember, right? I don’t know, I just- just-”
Your head was cast downwards during this talk, a mixture of shame and fear climbing up the expanse of your spine as your throat seemed to tighten with each word. You rambled, you were a rambler and you couldn’t help it- you needed to explain and you just couldn’t stop: the truth, your own feelings, your own doubts, your own fears and so much more. In your mind you had been tricking these men, deceiving them, living a life of lies that you let them crown you with like it was a veil of honour instead of what it really was- a mistake. They were mistaken. You were probably mistaken and if you were the person they had spoken so highly of all this time then you would finally spill the beans.
Looking at their face, you couldn’t fight back the tears. “I don’t want to trick you guys. I don’t want this to come back and bite me- a little selfish but the truth. I don’t want you guys to mistake some rando to be this highly respected entity. Maybe I am somehow related to this person in some weird soul link but I will no longer let you believe a lie that would only serve to harm both you and me.”
Gasping for breath, you hiccuped. “Please. Please forgive me for not saying anything earlier I-”
Wild’s hand moved gently, taking his scarred appendage from your grip to gently hold your cheek, catching your eyes with his own. “We know.”
A few seconds passed, you blinked as you managed to whisper a cracked, “...what?”
“We know you don’t remember.” Hyrule’s face filled with guilt, eyes shining with regret as he continued. “We’ve known for quite some time- we just didn’t want to place that weight over your shoulders.”
“But it seems we did so anyway.” A single tear that fell was gently brushed away by Wild’s thumb. “Forgive us.”
You hiccuped once again, “but- but why didn’t you say anything-”
“We thought maybe with time you would remember- with your name, your presence and your affiliation with magic, it never really crossed our mind that maybe you aren’t them. So, we decided to wait for the memories to come in.” Wild looked pained, “to force important memories would not be good for your health, (Name), trust me I know what that can do to one’s mind.”
More tears and more sobs, your body shook with the exhaustion of the emotional turmoil that once hung heavy on your shoulders, now free from the strain and feeling lighter than they had for days. Carrying guilt like this was always a burden, breaking you down day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. You were never one to easily carry lies like they were leaves in your pocket- they felt more like a tiger stalking an antelope, following and following until one day they would strike.
Being pulled into the arms of the heroes was solace, collapsing into their warmth, still crying from the whirlwind as they held you protectively in their grip.
“I’m sorry, (Name).” Hyrule’s voice was heavy with emotion as he spoke, “I would have never said those things if I knew you felt that way, I-”
You tightened your grip, “it’s okay, Link-”
“No no it’s not and you don’t need to think it is.” When the brunette pulled back his face seemed soft but his eyes burned with a passion that was almost too bright, “However, I will stand by what I said- whether you are our Guide or not you are just as important as the rest of us. I will not have you be any kind of bait ever again, nor will you come close to death for as long as I live.”
When your eyes met his, you almost melted at the affection. “I would rather give my life than let you ever step on death’s doorstep…okay?”
“....Okay- but-”
Wild groaned, “dear goddesses, you're as stubborn as a mule.”
You pressed a finger to his lips, smiling when his eyes crossed to see it. “Shush pretty boy- this goes for you too. Anyway, I also want you to apologise to Twilight and Time for how you acted- not what you said. I know why you said it, don’t get me wrong, but as I said earlier, you’ve known these men longer than you have me, you’ve got a brotherhood with them and the way you spoke to them earlier was not okay.”
Hyrule huffed, “They needed to hear it.”
“Time did and he had, from both me and Twilight, but the rancher didn’t deserve that- he was just defending his old man,” you joked, gently booping Hyrule’s nose. “So, if you’re dishing apologies make sure to plate those two as well- okay fairy boy?”
Ears flickered happily at the name while his face was downturned, red seeping into his cheeks as the traveller tried to avoid your warm expression. “Okay.”
Glancing to Wild, you raised a brow. “Well?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Knowing you, you probably poured bugs into their sleeping bags!”
“No- that’s something the sailor would do, but I-”
“Oh, shut up.”
Tugging the two boys close once again the three of you shared lighter laughs, the tension that once hung heavy now gone within a moment as you joked mirthfully in spite of the earlier stress. You were grateful for the break, needing a moment away from the horrors of reality and trauma from earlier days that you knew unfortunately lurked in the depths of your mind, waiting for the worst moment to pounce.
However, right here, right now, you didn’t have to worry.
“Let’s rejoin the others- you both need to apologise.”
Both groaned, but did not fight your insistence as you tugged them back.
----------
An awkward apology at the least- Hyrule was able to manage the words, his usual kinder nature allowing him to offer both the old man and his descendant with only the most subtle hint of hesitance while Wild stewed in his defiance, kicking at the dirt with a harrowing sigh. The blonde only really broke when you sent a glare across the camp, eyes narrowed with a scowl that grew with disappointment every passing second until finally he managed to grunt a “sorry” that you knew wasn’t quite true but you let him off when the two older men seemed to accept it.
Silence rang out.
“Can we have dinner- I’m dying over here!” But thanks to the sailor’s flapping mouth, in the next half hour plates were served with steaming dishes of herbs, spices and the usual dinnertime chatter made sure to pave the way for a much calmer evening.
Sat between Hyrule and Wild, you felt more at peace compared to the last day and a half, spooning the contents of the champion’s amazing cooking into your mouth as you watched everyone converse. Wind joked with Warriors, the young sailor throwing playful jabs at the older captain while next to him Legend and Four were idly chatting. Twilight and Time seemed more interested in their food similar to you as Wild and Hyrule discussed in unwanted detail the scarring that marred Wild’s left side with Sky’s disturbed look not even hidden as he stared at the two with a disgruntled look.
Quiet, you raised the spoon closer to your face, more aware of yourself than you had been for a long while when you finally noticed, your hand gloveless- the yellow of the Sheikah eye.
Yellow?
Since when?
Pulling back the appendage, you studied it in confusion. The veins that ran up your arm had a similar tint, having changed from the luminous blue that had once decorated your skin into the sunshine yellow. How had you not noticed this? When did this happen? But then again, running for your life in the palace was probably more important than studying yourself in a mirror.
Glancing over to your side you caught the glimmer of Hyrule’s sword, shimmering in the light of the evening sun. Without hesitation you grabbed it, being careful with the beautifully crafted blade as you slightly pulled it from its sheath and stared at the reflection of the polished steel-
Your eye also glowed in a similar way, with only a single ring of Sheikah blue surrounding your iris.
“What the fuck…” You breathed, pulling at the skin under your eye to get a better look. “....looks like fucking piss. Piss eye.”
Piss eye.
Thank fuck your friends weren’t here- you couldn’t deal with hearing that for however long this new development stayed.
“Huh?” Sky seemed to zone in on you, looking at you with the same odd expression on his face he had already been wearing. “Are you okay, (Name)?”
Hyrule and Wild’s conversation stopped instantly, glancing over to you along with a few others- you weren’t exactly paying attention to them, still looking in the reflection of the sword.
“My eye is yellow-” Hyrule’s speed was almost comical as he leapt to his feet, grasping your face to study your current predicament.
“Does it hurt?”
“No-”
“Are you sure?”
“Hyrule, I’m alright.” You laughed, pushing his hands away. “Don’t panic yourself because then I will panic and I think I’ve had enough of that recently.”
Wild’s hand gently ran over the skin of the glow, studying the mark closely as the yellow reflected off the skyline blue of his eyes. “Reminds me of Stasis on the slate.”
“That thing you used to freeze the Shadow?” Wind hopped over to poke at the sigil. “Would be pretty useful if they could use it, huh?”
Four looked sceptical. “And how would that work, sailor?”
“Well, uh-”
“I did use it.”
Another silence hung over the camp when the words had left you, Hyrule stopped, Wild stopped, all eyes were on you as scenes from the other day played in your head. Yes, yes you had used the Stasis, you remembered how the yellow chains jingled and how the Shadow raged ferally in his imprisonment, those manic red eyes glaring down at you like a rabid dog ready to pounce-
You swallowed the anxiety building up in your throat, hands suddenly shaking in your lap as you blinked away fearful tears. “I- I used it on the Shadow- I- I stasised him when he was going to kill me-”
You let out a shaky breath.
Were the trees suddenly closer? Was it getting darker around you guys? But the evening had only just begun, it wasn’t supposed to be dark yet- no, the darkness was moving. Oh God, was Dink here? Was he coming to get you? Were you about to die?
Blood pumped in your ears viciously, drowning out the earlier noise as you frantically glanced around for any sign of the monster that lurked in the shadows, waiting to pull that dark sword of his and finally slice your neck-
“Hey!” You managed only a small yelp when Wind shook your shoulders, the world falling back into view as you caught ocean blue eyes staring back at you. “It's not here, okay?”
“Wha- what-”
“The Shadow isn’t here.” Hyrule moved back into view as Wind finally released you, looking concerned along with the rest of the group- minus Legend, the man just looked unimpressed. “....it must have been pretty scary if mentioning it made you this upset.”
You looked down.
“...I’m not used to running for my life.”
The animals of Hyrule chittered.
“Let’s see it in action then.”
You made a sound of confusion only to tense up at the sight of an apple heading right towards you. Muscle memory kicked in, all those PE sessions of tennis balls, cricket balls, shuttlecocks and more flying towards you at a speed that seemed more mach 2 than anything causing you to ball up with your arms flying to protect your face. A squeak of slight fear left your mouth as you braced for impact.
Waiting.
Waiting.
And waiting.
“Vet! What is your problem!?”
Peeking open an eye, you saw a hand reached out, the fruit that had been previously hurled towards you secured in its grasp as the champion stood taller with a look of rage plastered on his face- you could practically hear the apple cracking under the pressure of Wild’s seething grip.
“What?” Legend shrugged, leaning back. “If it appeared when they felt in danger it was really the only logical option.”
Twilight stood when Wild growled. “Champion, step back.”
“If he wants a fight I’ll give him one-”
Legend grinned snidely, also standing. “I’d like to see you try, cook.”
More people were standing and the tension quickly jumped to dangerous levels, heat growing on your face from the sudden nerves as you also hopped to your feet, rushing to grab Wild’s shoulder and yank him back.
“Let’s not!” You yelped, tightening your grasp when Wild tried to shrug you off. “I don’t need to be defended! Walk away!”
“I-”
“I suggest you listen, Champion.” Time looked furthest from pleased, his scarred eye opening to reveal the milky white that encompassed the whole of the organ. “Walk away, there will be no fighting in this group.”
Tension threatened to bubble out of the pot, bursting into a horrid brawl that would only serve to pull the boys away further than they already had from one another. Legend was a prick, that was your impression of him at least, but you also knew that he wasn’t always a prick from the friendships he had formed with each one of these men. If they were willing to defend him as they did each other then you didn’t want to cause more unnecessary drama, you may not have liked him in this moment but that did not mean you were about to have people fight him just because he was a dickhead.
Wild scowled. "He started this-"
"And I'm ending it." Time stepped closer. "I will see to it that he doesn't do it again, go cool yourself down."
Wild stood for a few more moments, still glaring at Legend who glared right back before taking a deep breath and turning his back towards his friend- out of sight, out of mind. You smiled at him encouragingly, feeling proud when he managed a smile back-
"I guess the ranch-hand isn't the only obedient mutt."
It felt like slow motion. Time turned with an angered look, lips pulling back to scold the veteran with Wild spinning in a similar raged way, eyes narrowed. Twilight also seemed to be disturbed by the words, all around the boys looked both surprised and unnerved by the veteran’s cold hiss. Even the man himself looked slightly surprised by his own words, a flash of regret reflecting in his eyes-
Just before your fist made contact with his cheek.
Not much was said amongst the crowd, only a shared look of shock as he stumbled a few steps, red quickly blooming on his cheek while you ground your teeth together in a burning fury, hissing.
“Watch your fucking mouth!”
He didn’t even give you a second before he shook it off, everyone frozen as he stopped his stagger and spun back around to deliver a similar blow right to your own cheek, the surprising force behind his fist strong enough to send you back on your arse with a pained flinch.
Silence once again gathered around you all.
Wind blinked, “Damn.”
And suddenly they all kicked into gear.
The shouting was loud as your world spun, the burning sensation on your cheek from Legend’s punch dulling the throb of your knuckles from your own attack as you tried to differentiate up from down. You could see bodies moving rapidly but you couldn’t quite focus on what was happening, even as you were quickly tugged to your feet and heard a voice right by your ear that you couldn’t quite focus on. 
Fuck, that was embarassing.
You had been downed so easily by a man shorter than yourself- but honestly, what had you expected with punching an experienced hero?
“I have had enough of this!” Time’s voice was very distinct, much deeper compared to the others with a growl that could freeze armies upon hearing the rage in his tone. “Acting like brats at a time like this!? You are not children, I will not have you fighting as such and the mere fact that I have already had the need to repeat myself, multiple times, about this is ridiculous!”
You blinked, finally focusing in- Legend had been grabbed and restrained by Warriors, the anger still evident but overshadowed by shame while Twilight held back a near frothing Wild, Hyrule in a similar position with Time, huffing as he stared down the veteran with burning eyes. Taking in your surroundings you noticed you had also been restrained, glancing back to see Sky with his brows furrowed and lip upturned as he watched the scene- your eyes making contact made you shrink in guilt.
‘....That had been an over reaction.’ He hadn’t even said that to you but why would he even say that about his friends in the first place?
“Take a walk- all of you!” Time’s hand had moved to hold the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I cannot handle the sight of any of you!”
Legend roughly fought his way out of Warriors’ grip to stomp away, the captain very close behind him. Wild and Hyrule had similar reactions, stalking off in a different direction with Hyrule quickly grasping your wrist with a gentle touch once Sky had finally released you, pulling you away from the scene and disappearing into the surrounding wooded area as the complaints began to spill from their mouths.
So much for trying not to split the group.
----------
The next morning was quiet.
Way too quiet.
The guilt ate at your stomach from the silence, keeping your head focused on the food currently sitting on your plate to not see the obvious tension on everyone’s face. The sudden brawl (if you could even call that embarrassment a brawl) last night had left everything strained, a horrible stillness over everyone once you had returned with no more words exchanged except for nervous goodnights from those like Sky and Four- you really hadn’t meant to cause something like this but here you were it seemed.
Legend hadn’t glanced at you once which you were honestly more thankful for. Having an enraged glare on you after everything would have only made you feel worse, especially with the belief that you were the one to go overboard the evening prior. You really just weren’t in the mood to have his acknowledgment over your shoulders with everything else.
Getting ready was a little more eventful, quiet chattering amongst the men as they gathered all their belongings to stuff them away for travel. You stood away with Gilda sat on your shoulder, leaning against the side of Epona who playfully nipped at your hood, her huffs shaking the piece of fabric laid over your head- it wasn’t exactly raining but the clouds certainly did not look good in those dark shades of grey.
You wanted to help pack up but the fear of the men’s anger overshadowed your want to help, merely keeping your head down while waiting patiently until finally everyone had their things gathered and once again you were on the road.
The settlers had waved you off from a distance, some wishing good luck while others stayed silent as the view of Hyrule Castle got smaller and smaller the more you walked, following the path Eastward that held Hebra Peak just on the horizon. You had no real idea where exactly you were all headed but you prayed to the heavens that if you were to somehow end up walking towards the beauty that was Rito Village that you would have the chance to speak with the amazing musician, Kass.
Man, that would have been cool.
Your heart dropped a little when instead of following the path your group broke from the stone trail and began to tread the grassy plains of Hyrule Field, the visual of Central Tower an hour or so ahead.
Something looked off though, your eyes narrowing to catch the sight of small movement and splodges of brown that seemed to encase the entire thing, working its way down the tall, slim Sheikah device and disappearing behind the hills that laid before you.
Wind had slowed down to meet your pace.
“Ya know-” He started, seemingly nonchalantly, face folding with a familiar cheeky grin as he looked up at you. “That was a good punch.”
You blinked and from behind you Twilight let out a grunt. “Sailor, knock it off.”
“I’m just saying!” His hands flew out, showing he meant no harm. “Listen, the Vet ain’t got the same strength as the ranch-hand but he’s got the resolve of a hero and we don’t go down easy! You nearly knocked him on his arse!”
Taking a glance to the front of the group you could see Legend glance back with a scowl and quickly moved your gaze when you nearly locked eyes. “I just surprised him.”
“Nu-uh.” Wind’s arms crossed with an even more evil smirk. “If I talked shit all the time I would learn to expect to get fists thrown at me- actually, I already do-”
Warriors came to yank Wind’s head towards him, gloved hand moving to cover the boy’s loud mouth as he let out muffled cries of frustration and tried desperately to rip off the older man’s palm.
“Maybe we need to sew your mouth shut, pirate.” He raised an eyebrow towards the smaller blonde when you noticed his mouth moved- “You licking me will do nothing.”
You tried to hide your smile.
“I will say though- I think it’s high time we gave you a weapon.” Finally releasing the youngest hero the Captain clapped his hand on your shoulder, shaking off his spit covered hand behind him. “And we'll teach you how to fight- that first.”
Your heart dropped- fighting? Like going up against actual monsters? ….Had your heart just stopped?
Wild and Hyrule exchanged a look at your haunted expression. “Maybe we should give it a while-”
“Learning now would be best if (Name) will be joining us indefinitely.” Squeezing your shoulder gently, he finally released his hold. “I know for some who have not held a blade before it would be a daunting thing to achieve but you will be learning from the best, I assure you- and we will not throw you into conflict by your lonesome- uh.”
When his expression curdled into something awkward you couldn’t help the laugh, your hand coming to rest over your stomach as you belted out a belly laugh that only made your companions sweat- the sudden foreboding feeling now replaced with comical mirth at the sight of Warriors’ face.
“You look like you sucked on a fucking lemon! AHAHA-”
So the handsome man could fumble- that was good to know.
----------
Scaffolding. It had been scaffolding around Central Tower- tall and honestly intimidating as it encased the Sheikah construct while fellow Sheikah and Hylian folk seemed to….tear the build apart.
Huh?
Scurrying, they used unknown tools to yank and pull the contraption apart. While the tower’s platform still remained it would only take a few more working men for it to leave the once intricate monolith to an intimidatingly tall spike within the surface of Hyrule’s great field. How sad…and here you thought that maybe you’d be able to try climbing one to experience just what Wild had to go through each time you hauled his arse up those things.
You wouldn’t have lasted getting a foot off the ground- nevermind a 100 feet-
“‘scuse me!” You side-stepped carefully, watching some more tradies walk past with the massive dripstone that bore the Sheikah mark over their shoulders- casket style. “Thank you!”
You heard the subtle whispers of Sheikah craft, the eye flashing a soft blue before it fell silent once again as the men hauled the abnormal tech towards a reinforced wagon bearing two horses.
“What are these guys doing?”
Wild’s eyebrows pinched, “I’m not quite sure.”
The Chain shared similar quizzical expressions, unsure of what to say. It seemed none of them had heard of the news, nor did they understand what was happening, but that was no surprise really, after all Wind had told you not much had happened in those months they were stuck in Hateno. Sure, Wild would teleport them here and there for updates but they preferred to leave the younger man’s timeline’s business to him- and if he had no such idea as to what was going on then why would the rest?
You saw Time open his mouth-
“LINK!? IS THAT YOU DOWN THERE!?”
Boisterous yet far, the whole group glanced around at the mention of their name before finally glancing up at the tip top of the tower, noticing a small head of white hair leaned far off the monument. Their body leaned forward so only the tip of their toes touched the edge (a petrified looking Sheikah holding desperately onto their form) as they tried to get a closer look towards the blonde just by your side. 
Hold on…was that?
Wild placed a hand over the arch of his brows, squinting. “Is that you, Robbie?”
The mad scientist laughed, an old man's cackle that echoed around the surrounding field. “Perfect!! Just the hero I wanted to see!!”
After a few minutes of frantic running with Jerrin, his wife, following after, demanding he slowed down lest he died on this scaffolding from hell until finally he was with your group. Poor old Jerrin looked wiped, panting up a storm while still hunched over from her sprint down the not so safe looking staircase while Robbie greeted you all brightly.
Throwing you his famous pointed pose with a dazzling little smile.
…did you just hear a guitar riff?
“What are you doing here, Robbie?”
The scientist leapt back into a normal position, smile still plastered as a conversation brewed- you quickly tuned it out as you glanced around. Similar to most of the Champion’s land, rubble and ruin surrounded you in the form of crumbling stone. This was once a great structure, you could tell, intricate and great as it stood tall- a church? A baron’s home? A noble’s? The stone beneath your feet bloomed stray strands of grass as nature slowly swallowed this great building and returned the stone to its rightful place, the soil below.
“-you!” You yelped when something was thrust in your face, pressed lightly against your nose from the apparent height difference between you and Robbie as he addressed your figure. “What’s your name!?”
“(Name)!”
“Just who Purah described- come! I want to see about those marks of yours.” The old man began to waddle towards a tent in the far corner of the yard, feet fast despite his old stature before he turned towards you, still frozen in surprise. “Come on then!”
Ah, great- once again prodded by scientists.
----------
“An interesting find indeed.” Robbie’s eye was massive within the magnifying glass, staring right back into your own Sheikah infested pupil for proof for the mad theories his mind had conjured. What did he search for? You had no clue but you did know that if he snapped some weird contraption at you again you would start biting.
And you bit hard.
Some people knew that from experience.
“And you say that you actually stasised the monster, correct?” You leaned back when he leaned forward.
“That’s right.” Pressing a hand against the tool, you pushed the older man back into his seat in an effort to gain your personal space back, and in a victorious moment he finally caved. Placing down his instrument while he tapped his chin in interest and muttered some words you couldn’t quite catch before he turned away to scribble down something into a notepad behind him. 
A mirror just by your hand showed that the ghostly yellow had fully taken over, sclera finally enveloped with your pupil a more pastel in the sea of lemon gold. You wondered how odd you looked to passersby with the magic that swirled, you wondered if it was hard for the others to sleep with the bright horrid glow that came from your person- god you’d probably have to start covering that up.
“Got any ideas for us, Robbie?” Wild asked from the corner, sat with Hyrule and the three other eldest as they waited patiently for the scientist’s upcoming ramble.
“Well...” Building up an atmosphere was probably something this man seemed to love, jumping off his tall stool as he placed hands on his waist and waited patiently for everyone’s attention. The heroes, of course, grew intrigued by the silence, their curiosity singing as they all leaned in for the old man’s news.
Robbie’s hands moved up with his shrug. “I got nothing.”
Silence.
Warriors sighed. Twilight sighed. Time sighed heavily, dragging a hand down his face. “Is that it?”
“Your guess is as good as mine! I’m an alchemist- not a doctor!” Robbie grumbled, crossing his arms. “Sheikah magic has always been an odd magic, but this is unheard of! Taking refuge in someone’s eye- you’re better off to ask the goddesses how such a thing could occur!”
Another dead end- the roots of knowledge only decayed further and further in the soil of the unknown. The measly plant that you had dubbed your mind withered the longer you thought about how exactly you were supposed to get answers for this. Would Hylia be your best bet? Would she even answer? Gag, the thought of getting on your knees to pray only made your stomach churn from both the anxiety and the scenario- if she were to answer, how could your mind cope with the knowledge that such a higher being actually existed? And if she didn’t? Well then you’d just be a tart kneeling before a statue in another universe.
You’d rather shit in your hands and clap.
“I guess there is one thing we could try! Or maybe two.”
The Purah Pad was a tool that Robbie had created using the scrap of existing Sheikah tech and the ruins of Guardians strewn across the land. Similar to the Sheikah slate in a certain way, it didn’t carry as much power as Wild’s important tool but still allowed things like teleporting and communication between others- like him and Purah, of course. Nifty little device it was, quieter than the Sheikah slate as the magic whispered and twitched, voices of hundreds rather than thousands harmonised as Robbie slapped his hand against his desk to reach for it and lay it gently in your hands.
“So!” The old man watched you, “You feel anything?”
Your eyes stayed focused on it for a few moments, then you slowly shook your head. “Not really…it’s just…talking.”
“Hmmm….” Robbie held his chin, tapping a finger against his cheek before he clicked his finger. “Ah! Come now.”
You followed the scientist outside: first, like a shadow, Hyrule close to your side along with your second, Wild, following behind. The eldest trio didn’t look too sure as to what was about to happen, abandoning the tools within his workshop to the open world outside his tent as the small man led you over to the Sheikah stone that you had passed earlier.
“If the pad is too quiet, I’m sure the slate is the same- so why don’t we try something bigger.” Patting the vacant object, he grinned. “Go ahead and touch it.”
The remainder of the Chain, who had scattered to explore the small area or simply rest watched with an interest as you stared at the grey eye, void of magic. “It’s not even on.”
“And you currently have its magic flowing through your veins- something could happen, but only if you try.”
That was a good point- but what would happen if you did that? Schrodinger’s cat, both dead or alive until someone opened the box. Was the Sheikah stone the cat and you, the unfortunate soul to open the box? The one to see the ending result, no matter how pretty or ugly such a thing turned out to be- this wasn’t something you wanted. You remembered the screaming of the teleportation magic when Wild had teleported you to the tip of the Dueling Peaks, loud and irritating. Though it did not compare to the pain of that day back in Purah’s lab.
Your mind had blocked out those memories for your own good.
“You don’t have to do it.” Hyrule said quietly upon seeing your hesitation. “Don’t push yourself for our sakes- I’m sure we’ll know soon enough.”
Wild seconded that motion along with Twilight. Warriors gave you a friendly smile and Time nodded his head in a similar understanding. The man had learned it was not his place to push.
But…there were answers that you needed. Why did this mark now paint your skin? Why did its magic flow through your veins? So many questions with so little answers, the longer your eyes glared back into the mark of the Sheikah etched into the stone, you wondered if maybe you could finally understand.
When a hand came to hold your free one you paused, looking down to see Wind’s face. “I got ya in case anything weird happens.”
It took a moment before you were able to smile. “Thanks, little man.”
You ruffled his hair and he playfully smacked at your hands.
People around waited with bated breaths, the other tradesmen also stopped their relentless work to watch in interest as your hand hovered lightly over the rock’s smooth surface. 
Was this a remedy to the unknown or another deep dive into a world of pain? Back at Purah’s lab was certainly agonising, a brutal hit to your seemingly weak body as such a devastating power possessed you- would you really be reduced into a spasming mess on the floor once more? Your brain pounded in sync with the nervous churn of your stomach at the mere thought, hand shaking from strain. 
You would never really know until you tried, right? Many theorists risked their own lives for answers that lay just beyond your reach, but then again some even sacrificed others for their own self preservation. Were you the theorist or the sacrifice in this moment? Hell, were you even a thought to the people you stood amongst?
“...”
You pressed your hand against the stone.
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komelrebi-san · 2 months
Text
xiao is in love!
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a/n: so sorry for not posting for so long i was dying from school 😭
@zhonglisbeloved my love <3
feat. xiao + not being able to understand what this weird fluttery feeling in his chest is
contents: gn! reader, feat! aether + paimon, modern high school AU, pure fluff!, oblivious xiao and oblivious reader and aether trying his best to be cupid
don't like, don't read
xiao thinks you'd passed on some kind of bug onto him.
it's so annoying, he thinks. this weird fluttery feeling in his chest when he sees your smile; the way that he just feels hot all over when you wave at him and suddenly his face is bright red; the fact that his palms go sweaty and clammy and his knees shake when you speak to him.
it's so annoying.
he swears, if you ever talk to him again, he's probably going to pass out. this annoying sickness isn't going away. it's like you've plagued his mind as well, all he can do is grumble about you and resent the fact that you'd passed something onto him.
he hates you. he really does. he hates the fact that now he can't shake you off, because he feels his breath hitch and his mind go cloudy at the tiniest things you do.
he really hates you. so much. he resents you.
'oh xiao~' paimon cooed one day during lunch, tilting her head. 'you're in love!' xiao glanced at the little girl, scowling as his face immediately flushed red.
'shut up.' he grumbled. why does this munchkin of a girl sit with him and aether anyway? how old is she, even? she looked like a toddler.
'...i think paimon's right.' aether chuckled, gently pushing paimon out of the way so that she could go sit with the other girls, leaving the both of them alone.
'i hate them.' xiao spat, crossing his arms and huffing. 'they're so annoying and they just- they just irritate me. their very existence frustrates me.'
'how come?' aether furrowed his brows. he was confused, to say the least. he knew you had the biggest fattest crush on him, and it's obvious that xiao liked you too.
'they just piss me off.' xiao huffed, turning his head away. 'and i think they passed some silly illness onto me and it's not going away.'
'illness?' aether looked up at him from his lunch. were you ever sick in the last few weeks?
'i just feel so hot and bothered when they're around. my hands go shaky and clammy. i can't even function properly anymore.' xiao scowled. 'i can't even feel myself breath properly around them.'
ah, there it was. aether thought. he's definitely in love.
'but why are you so certain that it's a bad thing?' aether chuckled. this whole situation amused him greatly. xiao? in love? goodness, has the sun decided to rise from the west instead of the east?
'because i can barely think straight around them. it's frustrating.' xiao deadpanned, clearly exasperated. 'you just don't get me, do you? wait until you catch the same sickness as well.'
as if on cue, paimon's loud giggles were heard from across the cafeteria. aether grinned at seeing paimon dragging you over. ah, it seems she's already planned it out.
'xiao! say hi!' paimon stopped in front their table, pushing you in front.
'hey.' you smiled softly, giving both boys a cute little wave. immediately, xiao's cheeks flushed a crimson red and he quickly turned his face away.
aether glanced at paimon, and paimon winked back. oh, xiao's in love.
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saey707 · 6 months
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Hello I love your work and I saw you opened up requests for the Heartsteal boys so I was wondering if I could request a scenario/short with Kayn and a significant other with a self harm problem/tendencies, only if you're comfortable and not too busy of course. Anyway have a good day!
✿ Prompt: Kayn worries about you ✿
♡ champion focus: kayn ♡ tw: self harm ♡ Gender-neutral reader
Author’s Note: Hi there! I hope all is well on your end!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) Thank you for your request! My inbox is a bit flooded right now from all the Heartsteel requests, so being busy is unavoidable! ૮₍。´ᴖ ˔ ᴖ`。₎ა I hope I was able to convey Kayn's love clearly in this one. Hope you enjoy! ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚
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After Kayn discovered you had severe depression and anxiety, his attitude towards you changed. Sure, the witty remarks and the occasional teasing never went away, but Kayn eased up. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel bad if he accidentally says the wrong thing (which he has done on several occasions before finding out...). As a result, he began to speak to you in a gentler tone and would frequently ask you how you were feeling.
Kayn absolutely hates it whenever you're upset. If there is one thing he always wants to assure, it's that you're happy and well.
It can be difficult for him to understand how you're feeling, given he has a... different sort of mental illness. But when he has his rather infrequent outbursts as Rhaast, he understands how isolating mental illness can make a person feel. He doesn't want you to feel that way.
"You didn't... today, did you?" Kayn always beat around the bush with potential trigger words, but that wouldn't stop him from asking, all in an effort to assure you weren't hurting yourself.
"No." You respond quietly, Kayn breathing a sigh of relief. He dropped down on the couch beside you, shutting his eyes as he began to ease against you, leaning on your arm.
"You know I worry about you-" "You shouldn't."
Biting his tongue, Kayn turned to you, confusion written in his expression. In a way, he sometimes didn't understand why you shut him out. And that can be a bit frustrating.
But for you, he was willing to be a bit patient.
"You know you can talk to me, right? We've been together for years now." He pointedly spoke, watching as you hesitated and turned yourself away from him. Your back faced him, and he could do nothing more than stare.
Slowly, he reached forward, pressing his chest against your back, pulling you into his embrace. You looked up at him, watching him pepper your face with kisses. Lowering your head, you turned again, wrapping your arms delicately around him.
"I just want us to be honest with one another." He mumbled against the top of your head. You hum in response, pulling back ever so slightly.
"I did." He was confused with what you just said... Well, until it hit him. His wide eyes softened, watching as you pulled down your sleeve, revealing the freshly bandaged cuts that ran along your inner arm.
You hid these scars and cuts from him. You hid them from everyone. You put them in a place where nobody would be able to see them. Because to you, they became the most personal part of yourself. A piece of your vulnerability and weakness.
But Kayn didn't think it was a weakness. To him, it was a sign of your strength. It was the most personal parts of yourself, revealed to him out of your trust and faith in him.
For that, he couldn't help but love you more. He couldn't help but have a deeper desire to take care of you, and never let you go a day thinking he would betray your trust in him.
Kayn's fingers wrapped around your wrist, slowly lifting your arm to reveal the myriad of scars that littered your arm from the distal portion of your shoulder down to your forearm.
His lips pressed against each one of them, eyes occasionally lingering up to ensure he was permitted to do this. You let him.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, his cheek pressing gently against your forearm.
"Loved."
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bad268 · 1 month
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Hi I was wondering if you're comfortable with writing one for Andrea kimi antonelli with a chronically ill reader? (I have pots so preferably something similar or about that) but just a kinda fluff/comfort where the reader is having a bad flare up day? Only if you're comfortable but tysm if u do write it I love your writing! (I'm also a writer)
- em
At Least 75% (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (I FEEL LIKE HE'D BE SO SOFT FOR YOU) (Also, thank you so much Em <3 Send me some of your stuff if you're comfortable with that, I'd love to read your stories <3)
Warnings:  Chronically ill reader (not explicitly stated what illness)
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 1181
Summary: Flare-ups and hot tracks are not fun.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
Maybe he would understand if you missed one day. Just one day this weekend was all you needed. You woke up this morning and felt like hell. Your mind was foggy and you felt like throwing up. Honestly, you really did not feel up to walking around period, let alone walking around a crowded paddock in the heat. Still, you knew that you wanted to support Kimi this weekend, and you would do everything in your power to do so even if it meant you would suffer for the day.
You looked to the other side of the bed, seeing Kimi’s side empty. He had an important meeting with Mercedes this morning and told you he would meet you in the Prema garage whenever you got to the track. Groaning, you moved to sit up in bed, almost immediately stopping to lay back down as you were hit with a dizzy spell.
You waited a few extra minutes, taking some deep breaths to slow your rapid heartbeat. When you finally felt it slow to a normal rate, you gradually sat up on the bed. You waited again before swinging your legs over the side and standing up slowly, holding for a minute as you regained your balance. It did not take as long as it normally did, so you decided that was a sign to go about the day as normal.
Well, that was a mistake.
It did not take long after getting to the track for you to feel the wrath of your body. The heat was unforgiving, your head was pounding, your heart was starting to race, and you just wanted to hide away in Kimi’s arms. Thankfully, you were able to hitch a ride from a passing golf cart, but the closest they could get you was the start of the pitlane. Unfortunately for you, the Prema garage was in the middle.
You groaned to yourself, not wanting to walk that far, so you took a seat on a nearby stack of tyres. You pulled out your phone, and just as you were about to text Kimi, he showed up, standing in front of you.
“I was just about to text you,” You chuckled as you weakly wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned against his chest.
“I had a feeling,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as his hand held your head to his chest. “How are you feeling? Is the heat too much? Please be honest.”
“I don’t think I can walk to the garage, mio vita (my life),” You sighed in defeat as your shoulders sagged, but Kimi held you tighter to his chest when he felt you sink. “It’s been a bad day, and it’s only just started.”
“Why didn’t you stay in the hotel?” Kimi consoled as he rubbed up and down your back to calm you down. “Your health will always come first.” 
“I wanted to support you,” You wined, pulling back a little to look up at him, resting your chin against his chest. “It’s a big weekend for you, and you know I’d never miss qualifying.”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” He mumbled as he left a few kisses around your face. You began laughing, but you cut yourself short when a wave of nausea hit you. You hid your face in his chest once again as you breathed in his scent. Even he could feel your heart rate rising from just sitting there, and it did not help that SkySports had spotted you. They looked like they were going to make their way over, so Kimi tried to pull away slowly, He turned around and gestured for you to hold around his neck. “Hold on. I’ll carry you to the garage, and we can lay down before quali.”
“Can we get food or smoothies first? I haven't eaten all day and I know I probably should,” You whispered into his ear as you laid your head on his shoulder, and he held your legs tightly around his waist.
“I’ll go get you a smoothie after I drop you off in the garage,” Kimi compromised with a small smile as he started down the pitlane. “Look at you remembering to eat! I’m proud.”
“I knew you would like that,” You chuckled to yourself. You almost fell asleep, but you reached the Prema garage before you could. Kimi carried you into the back room where the driver’s room was set up and set you down on the massage table. Kimi pulled off his Mercedes jacket and laid it over your legs before leaning down to leave a kiss on your forehead. As he pulled away, you reached out to grab his hand before he could get too far. “You leaving to get food now?”
“Yeah, I’ll be back in a few,” He sighed with a loving smile as he leaned down to be at eye level with you. He lifted your entwined hands to leave a kiss on your knuckles. “Your usual?”
“You’re too good to me,” You replied dreamily as you closed your eyes again. “What would I do without you?”
“Starve.”
~
After qualifying (front row!!) and after the debrief, you and Kimi were free to head back to the hotel for the night. Despite wanting to suck it up and celebrate Kimi’s pole position, he knew you better than that. He knew as soon as he saw you sway in the garage after he pulled the car in that he was not letting you lift a finger that night. And true to his internal promise, he did not let you even walk.
“You know, it’s not that hot. I’m okay to walk,” You chuckled as he swept you into his arms and carried you through the paddock. Interviewers and fans that remained got a few pictures that you would be seeing later, but the gesture from Kimi made you happy nonetheless. “Are we going to dinner with the team?”
“Nope,” He quipped back as he popped the ‘p’ as he walked out of the gate and toward the car that Rene was pulling forward since they carpooled. “We are going back to the hotel, ordering room service, watching whatever you want to watch, and relaxing. I need your health at least at 75 percent tomorrow. I know your 100 percent is hard to come by, so I’ll settle for 75.”
You could not stop yourself from laughing. Even after hearing this joke many times, it never failed to put a smile on your face. “Can we make a fort?”
“By we, you mean me?” He joked, looking down at you just as Rene pulled up. Kimi helped you stand on your feet momentarily, so he could open the door. Then, he helped you sit down. Even going as far as to buckle your seatbelt for you. Once he clicked it in, he moved his head, so he could leave a small kiss on your lips. He pulled away slightly before whispering, “If you want a blanket fort, I will happily make you one.”
~~~~~
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