#on a good day he's crying a lil because he managed to do something he kept telling himself he couldn't | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

masn-mount · 11 months

Note

hiii what about a fic where Jude and you have broken up, him being the one to do it and one night he comes to you to talk or something and he sees you all dressed up ready to go out and you can take it from there. xx

thank you for your request anon! the ending is a little rushed because I wanted to post it before a trip I'm going on! I hope you like it and please let me know what you guys think. xx

warnings: swearing, a lil bit of angst, fluff,

words: 3,4k

The back and forth pacing wasn’t doing Jude any favor.

It was making him more nervous and the longer he looked at the few stairs leading to your front door the more his head was telling him to turn around and leave.

You had ignored his calls and left his texts on read.

It upset Jude even if he didn't have any reason to think you would want to talk to him. He was the one who ended your relationship and left you heartbroken.

Six months ago you had travelled to Germany to visit him and when the weekend came to an end you were sat on his bed listening to him tell you that he ‘couldn’t do this anymore’, he had way too much on his mind and his new career decision was making it difficult for him to focus on anything else.

You were left speechless.

There had been no fight or any clues telling you that he no longer wanted to be with you. He hadn’t been distant or pulled away from you physically or emotionally so you tried telling him that if he truly loved you as much as he told you he did earlier that day then you could make it work but nothing you were saying was getting through to him.

That night you collected your things scattered around his apartment before leaving early the next morning and you didn’t cry until you got into your taxi and ‘someone like you’ by Adele started playing through the speakers.

It was like the universe was playing a prank on you.

Jude wasn’t sure when he had collected himself but after taking a few deep breaths and thinking back to the pep talk his brother had given him he walked up the stairs and pressed his knuckles to the door. He knocked three times before taking a small step back and like a coward he hoped you weren’t home even if he could see the light in the hall and your bedroom on. “Hi, I’m just going t-, Jude?”

You stood before him with your mouth slightly agape, unsure of what to say and all Jude wanted to do was leave because the last thing he expected to see was you standing before him in a black dress that hugged your figure so perfectly. Your lips were coated in a red lipstick and you were in the process of putting on a pair of gold hoop earrings when he had interrupted you. "What are you doing here?"

"Want t-, need to talk to you and you weren't answering my calls or texts so I just came here." He looked shy and embarrassed as he stood before you in a simple white shirt and grey joggers and all you could think about was how good he looked. He was undeniably the most attractive boy you had ever seen and somehow he had managed to get even more handsome in the few months you hadn’t seen him.

“You came here from Spain?”

“I went to visit family too but yeah, pretty much.” Jude knew you were getting ready for a date. The perfume you were wearing gave you away because it was the one you always wore on date night's. It was selfish of him to feel jealous and slightly angry at the thought of someone else taking you out, making you smile and possibly taking you home after but he couldn’t shake the feeling away. “You’re going on a date.” It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement.

You shrug before nodding, “yeah, just a guy I met at the gym. I guess he thought I looked pretty all sweaty and wanted to take me out,” you were trying to lighten up the mood a little because the way Jude was looking at you was making you nervous and you hated how he still had that affect on you. “It’s really casual still.”

“I didn’t want to know.” Jude regretted snapping, it wasn’t like him and he never wanted to talk to you that way but the whole situation was doing his head in.

You purse your lips, dropping your hands to your sides after finally putting your earrings on. “Right, so why are you here?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.” You felt a little guilty about the whole situation even if you had no reason to. You had every right to go out and see other people after sulking for months but if the roles were reversed you know you'd feel upset too.

Your friends had tried to set you up with their friends and coworkers for months but you always said no until three days ago when Alex asked you out for dinner. You had seen him at the gym many times. He was nice and you shared some good conversations so when he asked you out for dinner you said yes because you couldn't sit around and wait for your feelings for Jude to just go away one day because you knew they wouldn't.

You look up at Jude, frown on your face to see him avoiding looking at you, his own brown eyes set on the wall where a picture of the two of you used to sit. “Yeah, that wasn’t fair.”

“I haven’t even looked at another girl yet.” It was a cheap shot and he’s not sure why he said it but it was true. Just like your friends, his own had tried to set him up with different girls but he always said no.

When he finally looked at you he could tell you were trying to keep your composure, trying to not go off on him even if it was exactly what he deserved for you to do.

"What you do is no longer my concern just like what I do isn't yours." You take a deep breath before looking at him, "you are the one who broke up with me out of nowhere and completely blindsided me." It was difficult for you to keep it together, to not cry but you wanted him to understand even if he was shaking his head the entire time you spoke. "You made it clear that you don't love me so I can't just sit around and wait for you, Jude."

“I never said I don’t love you.”

"You didn't have to." You awkwardly cough when Jude doesn't speak, repedetly blinking so you'd keep the tears you knew were approaching at bay. "My date's going to be here any moment."

"Bab-, y/n, don't go, please." His voice cracks at the end of his sentence. "I just want to talk, please stay and let's do that, yeah?"

"I can't do that, you know I can't," and just when Jude is about to tell you that he never stopped loving you for even a second he hears a cough behind him and he doesn't need to turn around to know that it's your date.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Alex walks past Jude like he's not even there and leans in to kiss your cheek before standing up straight and giving the boy in front of him a once over. A little laugh escapes his mouth before he speaks. "If it isn't Jude Bellingham! I'm a huge fan, mate." You're standing biting your lip and Jude wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or punch the smug bastard in the face but in the moment he settles for shaking Alex's outstretched hand and without another word he turns around and walks away because fuck, that had not gone how he had hoped.

You’re not entirely sure if you’re awake or in a dream when you hear knocks against your front door.

You bury your head under your covers as you try to ignore the sound coming from downstairs but when another knock is heard you groan before getting out of bed and in your half sleepy state you make it down the stairs and to your front door. A quick look into the peep hole confirms your suspicions that Jude was the one disturbing your much needed sleep.

“Need to tell that twat from earlier that I’m not his mate.”

“Jude!" You shriek when he walks past you.

He stumbles a little before sitting down on the ground when you ask him to take off his shoes before he steps on your carpet. "Have you completely gone and lost your mind? You can't just show up here at almost three in the morning!"

“You didn't answer your phone, you never do."

“I was sleeping!” Your eyes are bewildered and when Jude finally properly looks at you he can't focus on a single word you're saying or how angry you look as your arms move around you with every word you speak because all he can focus on is the black and yellow Dortmund shirt you're wearing. The fact that you had kept it made him happy and knowing that you wore it to bed made him feel all warm inside before it hit him that he wouldn't get to see you proudly wear his new teams jersey.

"My shirt?"

You shake your head before a tiny smile tugs at your lips, "no, I got it from Gio." You didn't realize just how much you had missed hearing him laugh until that moment. "I'm being serious tho, Jude, you can't just show up here this late." You help him up and to your livingroom before hurrying to your kitchen so you can fill up a glass of water for him.

"Please, drink this." He does as you ask and after putting the glass on the table he leans forward and rests his head on your chest, telling you that he just needs a cuddle and when you don't push him away you feel him smile against your neck.

"I know you hate when I'm drunk."

“I do.”

"Your date," he mumbles against your neck, "was he nice? did he pull out your chair and all that."

You laugh, "it was a shit date." You had nothing in common with Alex and even if he had come across as a nice guy when you had met him he was a total different person at dinner. You didn't mind confidence in a guy but he had been arrogant all night and borderline rude when you had told him you wanted to go home and not back to his place.

Jude can't deny that he feels happy that your date had been bad, happy that you probably wouldn't see Alex again but he also felt a little guilty because maybe the reason why you hadn't enjoyed your night was because he had showed up just before and ruined it for you. "M'sorry."

"You're not," you shake your head with a breathy laugh and when he giggles against your neck you suddenly feel overwhelmed and don't realize that small tears had gathered on your waterline until your blink and a few of them escape and fall down your cheeks. "You can't just show up here like this anymore."

"You've said that already but you won't tell me why," you just shake your head and when he presses his lips against the skin of your neck you just close your eyes because you can't find strength to push him away. "It's so fucking hard to not have you and hearing you say tha-, that you think I don't love you it hurt me and it wasn't fair because I love you so much."

"It wasn't fair making me feel that way either." Your tears are falling freely now and Jude looks up when he feels one land on his knuckles even if the crack in your voice already gave away that you were crying.

"Please, don’t cry, hate seeing you cry.”

"I know."

"I never ended things because I stopped loving you," he was starting to sound like a broken record but he needed you to understand that his feelings for you had never changed. "I know it sounds like the worst excuse ever, 'oh it wasn't you it was me' but it's the truth," a light shiver runs down your back when you feel his hand slip under your shirt, his fingers move across the skin of your back and it's almost like Jude doesn't even notice that he's doing it. "All of these incredible things are happening and when I'm in bed at night all I can think about is how I wish you were there with me and I wish I would have asked you to just pack your bags and come with me but at the time it felt so selfish to ask that of you because I felt like I let you down."

You frown at him followed by a light shake of your head, "you could never let me down."

"I promised you that I was coming back to play in England."

You just give him a sad smile, "plans change and if anything you deciding to challenge yourself again by going to another country only made me feel prouder, not many nineteen year olds have the belief and confidence to do what you've done."

"I just wanted the best for you."

"You gave me everything I wanted, Jude."

“Did I really?”

“Yes!” Your eyebrows are furrowed and lips parted, not quite understanding his reasoning because you had never given him a reason to think you weren't happy or that you needed more from him. The moment he had told you that he had made the decision on his future and that he had picked going to Spain you had been ready to move with him, all you ever needed was for him to ask but he never did.

"What?"

"You would have moved to Spain?"

"I-," you feel your cheeks heat up because you hadn't meant to say those words out loud, "yeah, I would have."

"I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Yeah, you are," you smile a little and he just shakes his head, "I don't want you running around in the streets at this time so you can stay here if you want."

"Here as in?"

"On this perfectly fine sofa."

"I can't sleep here!"

"Sure you can," you laugh a little at how offended he looks.

"It's cold."

"I can bring you an extra blanket."

"Babe, don't be ridiculous."

Your knew you wouldn't be able to sleep by yourself knowing he was in your house but you enjoyed teasing him. "You're actually a child," you stood up, removing yourself from his hold and walk up the stairs with Jude following closely behind and when you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, he walks into your room and sits on your bed. He notices that besides your curtains not much had changed in you room. "Okay, just stay on your side of the bed."

"My side, yeah?" You tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear before crossing your arms over your chest and all Jude can focus on is how your shirt rides up and exposes even more of your thighs.

"Do you need anything before we sleep?"

"A kiss."

"You're really going to push all my buttons aren't you?"

"Speaking of buttons, can you help me undo mine? they're way too small." You want to tell him no but before you can you're already walking the short distance to where he's sitting. You stand between his legs, foot hitting into his shin when his hands move to the backs of your thighs, he gives you a lazy smile before he pulls his hands away and leans back on them. "I can't help it, you're so fuc-,"

"Don't be cheeky," you're trying to focus on the buttons of his black shirt but they were indeed small and the way he was looking at you was making it difficult for you to even think but after what felt like hours you managed to undo the shirt and with a pat to his now bare chest you walked around him and got under the covers.

You had more of his old shirts in your wardrobe but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing you'd kept more than the one you were wearing.

You could feel the bed moving for a few seconds before Jude got comfortable. You stay still for a few minutes, back against him and you think that maybe he's fallen asleep but just as you're about to turn around you feel him move closer before his arm wraps around your waist, his face so close that you can feel his lips against the top of your head. Your whole body goes stiff before he mumbles for you to just relax against the top of your head and when he places his hand over yours and let's his thumb stroke over your skin you feel yourself melt into him.

"I just want to hold you. I missed you so much, so fucking much." You just nod, "I'll do anything to fix this, if you let me," he pulls you a little closer even if you didn't think it was possible. "I've wanted to come here so many times but I was a coward and called instead because deep down I knew you wouldn't answer so that would mean you wouldn't end the small hope I had that I could have you again." Jude could feel his eyes starting to feel heavy with sleep and he wasn't sure if you were still awake but when you squeeze his hand a little before turning in his arms he feels like his heart might beat out of his chest when you lean in and press a light kiss to his cheek.

When you pull back the tip of Jude's nose nudges your cheek as his face moves closer to you, you process what he's about to do and you let your head fall on his pillow to avoid his kiss, his lips fall on your cheek instead and you feel him smile against your skin, he let's out a chuckle before his head drops to your shoulder. Your hand moved to his back so you can lightly skratch it with your nails.

"Sorry, just got carried away," Jude felt overwhelmed being so close to you again because it felt so normal, almost like nothing had changed. "Just felt right," he said, you could barely make out what he was saying from how he was speaking against your neck.

"I know," you whisper because you felt the same and by that point you realize that you're completely gone for him, maybe you always were. You thought of him daily and when he would call you wanted to answer but just like him you were afraid that it would lead to that true closure neither of you had and you didn't want that. You never stopped checking up on him through your mutual friends, always asking them how he was and you never missed a single one of his games.

After a minute of silence, Jude speaks, "do you miss us?" He had wrapped his arm around you again, his chin resting on top of your head as he spoke, "do you miss me?"

"All the time," he rests his head against the pillow when you answer his question, eyes directly on you as he brushes his knuckles down your cheek before grabbing your jaw, eyes moving down to where his thumb was running over your lower lips. You know you won't be able to deny him again so instead of waiting for him it's you who leans in, capturing his lips with your own. Jude's fingers continue stroking over your cheeks as he pushes closer to you, trapping your body underneath his own.

His lips are just as soft as you remembered them.

He let's his tongue swipe across your bottom lip before sucking lightly onto it and you can't help but moan at the feeling which makes Jude smile against your lips. He leans his head back for a second, he nudges your nose with his own before leaning back in and it feels like you've kissed for hours when you pull away. Your eyes are closed, head still leaning back on the pillow when you speak, "I was meant to be stronger than this," you giggle. Jude kisses you once more before laying his head on you chest and when your hand moves to the back of his head while the other one moves up and down his back all Jude can think is that he was always meant to be right there, with you.

"M' girl."

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham imagine #football fanfic #football imagine #my writing

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argumentativeaxolotl · 10 months

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Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

#cars 2006 #human lightning mcqueen #humanized cars #chick hicks #headcanon #lightning mcqueen headcanon #chick hicks headcanon #humanized chick hicks #doc hudson #strip weathers #humanized strip weathers #humanized doc Hudson #headcanons #humanization #I’m really tired lmao #it’s like 1 am #i’m very tired #lmaooo

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rorywritesjunk · 5 months

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A mini lil fic. PG. Mentions of animal illness and death. Crying people. Takes place about a year into Buggy and Sunny's marriage (this isn't spoilery since it was mentioned in the Kid Buggy fic 👀) Title comes from The Cave by Mumford and Sons.

And I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways

To Buggy, Sunny can do no wrong. Ever. He thinks she's absolutely perfect. He's the type of husband who would do whatever he could for her to make sure she's always happy. He remembers her birthday, her favorite flower, the day they met. Everything.

He fucks up badly only once in their marriage and it was within the first year.

Sunny was crying over the loss of one of Mohji's animals, a bear. It was sick for a while and she convinced Buggy to see if they could find someone to treat the poor thing. When they finally anchored and they found a vet, it was too late. The poor thing was past treatment so the humane thing was to put the bear to sleep. Mohji was a wreck and Sunny was inconsolable.

Buggy was an idiot.

"It's just an animal, babe." He grumbled one night while getting ready for bed. "Mohji isn't even crying that much over it."

"B-But I feel so bad for him!" Sunny sniffed as she held a tissue to her face. "He-he loved that bear so much, Buggy! And he's dead! We couldn't help him!"

He rolled his eyes. The vet wasn't sure why the bear's health declined suddenly. Mohji took very good care of the animals, but sometimes things happened. Mohji and some of the men buried the animal out in the woods later that day but Buggy didn't want Sunny to tag along. He wanted her to get over it.

"Look, the animals aren't your concern, okay?" He sighed as he got into bed beside her. "Just suck it up and move on. Mohji already has."

Sunny lowered the tissue from her face as she turned to look at Buggy. "What did you just say?"

He paused for a moment, trying to recall what he just said.

"I... Said the animals aren't your concern?"

"Try again."

Oh shit. He heard the tone in Sunny's voice and knew he was in trouble. There has been one time before when he heard her speak like that and he knew he was in trouble.

"Sunny, b-babe, just... Don't concern yourself with Mohji's animals." He managed to get out, smiling wide at her, hoping she wouldn't get mad. She sat beside him in bed, arms crossed as she stared at him with an unreadable look on her face. "All I said was... Suck it up and move on... B-Because it's just one bear, babe. Not a big deal."

"So what you're saying is you don't want me to express emotions, Buggy?" Sunny asked coldly. "I should just keep it all inside or something?"

"Yes!"

Oh, no, that wasn't the right answer. He tried again.

"I mean... Show them but... Not all the time? Just... Just stop crying?"

Sunny stared at him before she laid down on the bed with her back to him. He reached out to touch her shoulder but she jerked away from him.

"Don't, Buggy." She snapped.

"B-Babe, come on!" He insisted. "I didn't mean, um-"

"Good night." She pulled the blankets close and closed her eyes. He didn't even get a good night kiss.

Sunny cooked him breakfast the next morning but left when he started eating. He thought maybe she'd be better by lunch time, but she repeated what she did at breakfast: fixed him a plate and left.

He tried talking to her but she ignored him as she went about her chores.

Fine, he could also be stubborn and ignore her.

Except that only lasted a few hours before he was on the ground in front of her while she patched a hole in a crewman's pants. Buggy was hugging her legs, trying to get her to notice him, but she ignored him as she worked.

"Babe, please don't ignore me!" He begged. "Please!"

One thing Buggy learned about his wife that week was she could stand her ground. She gave Buggy the cold shoulder for an entire week. Seven days. If he would have apologized she would have stopped but he didn't until the end of the week when he was at her feet again, resting his head in her lap while she worked. Mohji and some men were off the ship again, getting supplies, while Sunny worked.

"Please talk to me." Buggy whined pitifully. "What do I have to do?"

Sunny sighed and stopped what she was doing. "Apologize to me. That's all I want."

"A-Apologize?! For what?!" Buggy demanded. Sunny stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "You should apologize to me for ignoring me all week!"

"Really, Buggy?" Sunny said. "You tell me to stop crying, not to show emotions, but you want me to apologize to you, is that what you're saying?"

"Obviously! You've been ignoring me all week, Sunny! Why should I apologize?!"

"Because you hurt my feelings!" Sunny exclaimed. "Buggy, I was upset and instead of comforting me you told me to suck it up! I have never once said anything like that to you when you were down, so I'd expect you would comfort me when I need it!"

Buggy's eyes widened slowly. He felt like a terrible husband because Sunny was right. She was always there, hugging and reassuring him whenever he needed it, ever since they met, and she never asked for anything in return. The one time she wanted it he ignored her feelings and made it about him.

"I-I 'm sorry, Sunny! I am, please, I'm sorry, don't... Don't do this anymore." He pleaded as he buried his face in her lap. "I'm sorry. You... You can cry as much as you want. Don't leave me or anything."

Sunny took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and looked down at Buggy. "I am not leaving you over this. And I'm glad you apologized, Buggy."

He glanced up at her, eyes watery as he sniffed. "Really?"

"Yes." She said. "Now never say anything like that to me again, are we clear?"

He could only nod, tears in his eyes as he clung to her. Sunny could feel a headache coming on.

"I love you." He mumbled as he shut his eyes, clinging to her while she resumed her tasks.

"I love you too, Buggy." Sunny replied. "Now let me finish my work, okay?"

He just nodded, keeping close to her, fearful she might disappear before his eyes. Sunny reached down to pat him on the head gently before finishing her work. She was glad he apologized and hoped he would learn from this, but she would also be more vocal about her emotional needs as well around him, and if he ever told her to suck it up again then she would walk away.

end.

#buggy the clown x reader #sunny x buggy #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #buggy the clown #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #mini fic

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differenteagletragedy · 5 months

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I'm sorry if someone else has asked, have you played Error143? I would love to someday get HCs for Mr Micah Yujin

-- I finished just moments ago, so these are more first impressions but I want to talk about this guy

-- OH MY GOD

-- DLC spoilers ahead btw, just gonna mash everything together

-- This guy fell for you IMMEDIATELY. Hard and fast, but like SO fast. A cute little hacker taking the time to mess with him? Done. It's over. This is it. He is in love, and his heart will never want another.

-- After the first time he talked to you he was giddy like you would not believe. He probably literally had to lie down on his bed and kick his little feet, he was so excited.

-- Absolutely had to have a conversation with Skrunkly about you. Probably texted the group chat too. He is OVERWHELMED BY EMOTIONS.

-- First love, last love. He's obviously never had these feelings before, so it honestly is a little overwhelming, but in the best way. He has trouble focusing while he's working, trouble sleeping because he can't stop thinking about you.

-- He got your favorite food delivered like two seconds after you hacked him lol, he's going to be holding himself back from doing so much more. He's thinking about all these romantic gestures but he doesn't want to come off as too intense, you know? But he's definitely opened a flower delivery service site about 2-3 million times and was THIS CLOSE to ordering your favorite flowers for you but he stopped himself.

-- Thinks about how he'd propose on Day 2. You can't even really fathom how bad he has it.

-- If you asked him to move in at some point during his visit, he'd say yes. No hesitation. He works remotely, you've got room for Skrunkly, everything is good to go. Yes please, he very much would like to move in, thank you so much for asking.

-- But obviously if you want to take things slower, that's good too! But please let him visit often, because it's going to be so hard for him to go back home alone and leave you. Does he cry on the flight back? Yeah, maybe!

-- If you don't move in together right away, then joint custody of Nugget is going to something you both have to take very seriously. The first time you visit him and you pull out your lil dino baby? He was already a goner way before this lol and there's really no way that he could fall for you any harder, but this might do the trick.

-- Oh oh but what really gets him is when you meet Skrunkly? Besides you, that cat is the light of his life. Please take a moment to consider the effort it would take to do a themed photo shoot with a cat and turn one of those photos into that poster. That's the kind of cat dad he is. So if kitty takes up with you, like if after a few days he walks in the living room and you’re lying on the couch with Skrunkly curled up purring on your lap? It's over.

-- He pats himself on the back whenever he manages to come up with a smooth line, because the guy really just lucks into them. He's SUCH a nerd (I say affectionately). The first time he calls you "angel" with a straight face, internally he's like "MICAH LOOK AT YOU GO!!!!"

-- That's why he calls you that ALL the time, because he's so proud that he can do it.

-- He's also practiced doing tricks with his split tongue (he's the biggest dork in the world). He'd like get the giggles doing it too, but it'll be worth it during the maaaaaaake oooooout.

-- RESPECTFULLY if he has a split tongue AND a tongue piercing then it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think there are other body mods/piercings elsewhere.

-- He joked about your love language, but once you told him he did his research. Looked for examples on how to show love in that way, looked at more examples, took notes. If he can (sorry physical touch friends, I'm not the one who did the research but this seems tough for a long distance relationship), he'll make a point of showing you love in your preferred way.

-- Please for the love of god steal this man's clothing and wear it for him. You hop on a video chat wearing his hoodie and he can't think straight for 2-3 weeks.

#error 143 #micah yujin

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saintrvckwell · 2 years

Text

Not on my knees quite yet, but I was a fool back then (ellie williams x reader)

ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: ellie would've saved a lot of time if she stopped avoiding uncomfortable conversations

warnings: angst!, swearing, slight nsfw (kissing), ellie's being a d!ck from time to time

words count: 9.1k

a/n: the last piece i published made cry while writing so naturally (and gladly!) this one made me smile — and laugh. i'm sucker for this sort of trope and i figured i owe you something a lil happier after my previous work. i hope you didn't forget about me.

also! this si an angst and comedic gold at the same time. lol enjoy!

"did I let you down before i can make my peace? so if you're listening now, could you hear me out at least?"

•

The sun was already down, leaving the moon take its rightful spot. Your boyfriend’s touch was lingering your shoulder as you stood in his living room, mind drifting away from the conversation you were a part of just a second ago. With a polite smile on your face until you caught a sight of her. There, on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with a cup of beer in her hand, looking right at you. More than anything, you wanted to press your lips against hers. To stop the world around from spinning. To satisfy that little desire of yours.

Yet you couldn’t.

Because that’s not what friends do. And that is what you and Ellie mutually agreed to be. Without realising how much of impossible quest you had given to each other.

It wasn’t always like that. Not so long ago, staring into her eyes without falling even harder wouldn’t seen so impossible. But not so long ago, the two of you were just friends. Two people who might have been impeccably good at hiding their likings. Two people who used to spend every minute of their days with each other. But those two people truly sucked at having uncomfortable conversations.

And somehow ended up here.

“Is everything okay?” your boyfriend’s voice pulled you back to reality, finally breaking off the eye contact with Ellie.

Your eyes locked, seeing a hint of concern glancing in his. Smile crept up on your lips, sending a nonverbal answers for his worried mind.

“Do you want a beer?” he asked, offering his cup.

“No, it’s alright. I'm going to get some water,” you shook your head.

“Y/N?”

Before you made a single move, his hand swiftly reached out for yours, stopping you. There it was again, the concern.

“I’m fine,” you smiled, dedicating him the most believable form of fake smile you had in store.

And once you managed to get out of his sight, you let a frustrated sigh out of your mouth. Closing the kitchen door, you got yourself a few minutes of peace. Few minutes to sort out your shit and pull yourself together. Before he will grow more suspicious, if that was even possible.

You were here with your boyfriend. Yet you couldn’t stop thinking about her. And those words she shared with you on patrol.

The two of you hitting the road wasn’t something unusual. Quite the contrary. You and Ellie took almost all of the patrols together, feeling the most safest around the other. From time to time, you ended up taking a route with someone else due to Maria’s schedule system. And although the townsmen of Jackson knew their way around guns, you never felt as comfortable as when you went out with her. You knew each other’s tactics to very last detail. You worked so well together.

Every other day, just not today.

Due to awkwardness that’s been floating over your friendship like a dark cloud, you ended having multiple close calls. Usual encounters with runners and clickers that you would handle without a single worry seemed almost lethal this time. The miscommunication and unfinished business you’ve been avoiding for weeks took its toll on you. And had you walking home without a single bullet left in your pocket.

“I had it under control,” Ellie muttered, anger covered in her words.

“You didn’t have it under control,” you retorted, visibly not in the mood to be having a conversation with her.

It was supposed be a usual route to check out the stores in a town nearby. One of the shops, a book store, ended up being full of infected. Something that became absolutely normal for you to come across. The two of you wanted to clear the space stealthy, just with different tactics. Both of you went separate directions, unintentionally drawing the attention of runners with your chaotic way of communication. A second later you were quite literally fighting for your own lives with shouted insults filling the air.

Ellie wanted to run out through a little office space at the back of the store which led to emergency exit while you wanted to go back and took the main entrance since there was too many of runners for you to handle without any casualties. Ellie, as stubborn as she usually was, disagreed with you. More specifically, she didn’t even let you express your disapproval. She simply headed back there, with your yelling echoing the room. You managed to shoot down two more runners when you heard Ellie’s sudden cry for help.

Needless to say, the worst appeared in your mind. You didn’t know which one of those catastrophic scenarios would be worse. Ellie being dead or bitten with the necessity of you to shoot her to prevent her from suffering? Thankfully, none of those turned out to be reality as you succeeded to save Ellie in the last second.

Lying on the floor with clicker on top of her, Ellie was trying to reach for her gun tossed in corner of the office room. Not waisting any time, two of your bullets went through that clicker’s head, drops of blood splatted on Ellie’s freckled cheeks. You didn’t even have time to give her proper shit about it. Instead of that, you grabbed the gun, pulled her up and grabbed her hand, getting both of you out of that bookstore.

As if that wasn’t enough. Once you were back on the street, barricading the main entrance with literally everything suitable, you needed to patch ourselves up. You headed to pharmacy two stores away, hoping to find something usable. You were on foot today and Jackson was more than an hour of walk away. You opened the door, letting the guard down for a second and stepped on the glass shattered on the floor. Ellie’s scream pulled you back to reality, as well as her hand, literally pushing you out of the store. Falling on the cold pavement, you looked at Ellie firing her last shots.

“Motherfucker,” she mumbled, putting her gun back into her thigh holster.

You spotted the clicker bleeding out on the floor. Worse than that was just that banging coming from the bookstore, letting you both be aware of the fact that the barricade won’t hold for too long.

“Fuck,” Ellie hissed as she turned to you. “Let’s go,” she walked past you. “Or do you wanna sit around and wait for a bite?”

She was unbearable.

As a matter of fact, that’s how you ended up fighting. Halfway to Jackson, because of her snarky attitude and your habit of not letting shit go.

“I had it under control,” she stopped, looking right at you, fists clenched as she tried to surpass her anger.

“No you didn’t,” you repeated your previous words — this time with much more resistance. “Because if you had it under control, I wouldn't have to jump over there and save your fucking ass!”

“Like you’re the one to talk,” she laughed sarcastically. “Why the fuck did you go to that pharmacy in the first place? Previous close call wasn’t enough? Are you feeling suicidal today? Otherwise I can’t explain that fucking reckless decision of yours!”

“I wanted to find us some bandages!” you explained, pointing you to multiple scratches on Ellie’s hands.

“How generous of you,” she spoke ironically. “You’re such an idiot, truly.”

“Am I what?” you whispered.

“An idiot,” she repeated her words and took a step closer. “An actual idiot.”

You couldn’t help but laugh over her affectedness. “Well, I’m sorry that I tried to help you!”

“I didn’t ask for it!”

“You’re such a pain in the ass today, seriously. We should’ve taken the main entrance as I told you—“

“Are you seriously going to turn this into a lecture?” she wasn’t even trying to hide her sarcasm. “Do you really feel like you’re in the position to be giving me shit about my bad decisions? You?”

“What is that supposed to mean?!” you snapped, hands crossed over your chest.

Ellie stopped for a second and took a deep breath, probably rethinking her whole dedication to have this conversation right now.

“Nothing, let it go.”

She responded quietly, breaking off the eye contact and getting back on the road. She didn’t bother to wait for you. In fact, you stood there for another five minutes, watching her silhouette disappear out of your sight. She arrived at the east gate without you, completely ignoring Jesse’s concerned voice asking her about your whereabouts. You arrived twenty minutes after her, not as furious as when she left you there. Mostly just confused by her words. Not in the mood to have a conversation with Jesse, who was visibly puzzled over your and Ellie’s strange behaviour.

After that uncomfortable patrol, you headed home. Lately, it has been more than odd between the two of you. Even though you’ve made an agreement to be just friends, it didn’t seem like any side would be particularly pleased with that choice. In fact, it only made you more distant. This was just the final nail in the coffin for your friendship.

You were so mad at her. Mad because no matter what shit she caused, it wouldn’t change the way you felt about her. She could’ve behaved like an absolute asshole, yet would still think of her. You would still give her a chance. Your feelings for Ellie weren’t leaving anytime soon. Which, in the end, made you feel horribly. Considering the fact that your affection towards your boyfriend was nowhere near the one towards Ellie.

You already felt like the worst person after what you and Ellie did — what ultimately led to this mess.

Obie was your rebound. Your distraction. Someone who appeared in your life, willing to give you that kind of love you desired to receive from her. And for a moment, you wanted to make this work — while Ellie was dating Cat. During that period of time, the two of you almost never hung out, rather avoided each other.

You’ve been thinking about it for weeks — about that night. About doing the right thing — accepting the consequences. You just didn’t have the guts to do it. You planned it for some time, yet failed every attempt to do so. But Obie wasn’t an idiot and soon enough picked up on your weird behaviour. That’s why he asked you to come tonight. To have fun with him and his friends.

Which didn’t include Ellie. But she somehow managed to show up here and made you feel even worse. Again.

You were aware of that poor choice of timing. Yet you couldn’t wait any longer. Appearing back in the living room, you grabbed Obie’s hand, quietly urging him to stop the conversation and head out with you. Taking a quick look around the room, your eyes met with hers. Noticing your intertwined fingers, she drew up, watching you both carefully as you fled the scene.

Sitting on the stairs on Obie's back porch, second thoughts crept in. As bad as it might sound, Obie represented an insurance. Insurance for you that even if you can’t be with Ellie, you have someone who’s willing to give you the kind of love you demanded. And in some ways, he was your friend. Your occasional patrol partner. And you didn’t to prolong this. More than you already did.

As soon as you let a frustrated sigh out of your mouth, Obie already knew where this was headed.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling too cowardly to look into his eyes. “I really am. I’m aware of the fact that you most likely won’t believe me, though you have every single right for it, but I never meant to hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.”

“What was it then?” he looked up at you, confused.

“You liked me,” you whispered. “And I thought that by giving it a chance, I could eventually like you the same way. But I don’t. And you deserve someone who will.”

“I hope you’re not planning on giving me that heartfelt speech of how much I deserve to be loved,” he mumbled sarcastically. “You should’ve ended this right away.”

“I know,” you nodded with your tail between your legs. “And I’m sorry.”

“Well, I guess she’s the winner, after all,” he muttered, getting your attention.

A confusion was drawn over your face. “What are you talking about?”

“Ellie?” he laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re so blinded by your own affection that you didn’t notice how much she’s pining for you.”

“She’s not—“ you stopped. “Ellie’s not interested in me. Not like that.”

“The least you could do right now, is stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying to you,” opposed.

“You’re just embarrassing yourself,” he laughed to himself. “Why do you think I brought you here tonight? To prove my point. And I succeeded the second I saw how you were looking at each other. Or did you really think you’re so inconspicuous? Don’t even try to tell me that nothing happened between the two of you. Even if you do, it doesn’t matter anymore. 'Cause I am done with this. With you.”

“Obie—“

Before you attempted to finish your sentence, the door swung open, letting someone else to join your conversation.

“There you are!” Jesse exclaimed happily. “We’re gonna play some games, are you guys joining us?” he asked curiously, overlooking the tension between you and Obie.

Obie didn’t wait a single second. He stood up and left to room in a matter of seconds while you sat there, replaying your previous choice in your mind.

“Are you going or not?” Jesse’s voice pulled you back to reality.

You nodded quietly and followed him.

“Did I interrupted something?” Jesse asked while the two of you walked through the hallway to Obie’s living room. “You guys seemed to be in the middle of—“

“Jesse, can I ask you something?” you blurred out, stopping in the middle of a hallway.

Curiousness in his eyes served as a nonverbal kind of answer you were looking for.

“You, Dina and Ellie went out last night, right?” you asked.

During your morning patrol with Dina, she casually brought up their plan for the evening. She mentioned her, Jesse and Ellie were heading out for a few. She tried to persuade you to join them but staying home felt like a more suitable option for you. You’ve already declined Obie’s offer to go out that morning, when he walked you to stables.

Jesse nodded.

“Obie mentioned he was going out with other guys from patrol team. This might sound strange but… do know if Ellie and Obie ran into each other? More specifically — if something happened between them?”

“Hell yeah, I was actually starting to get a little worried, for Obie, of course. He made a few comments and you know Ellie. She wouldn’t just let it go and leave. They had an argument and it escalated into Maria and Tommy pulling them apart before Ellie managed to break his nose, in the better case,” he clarified. “Weren’t you patrolling with her this morning? I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. Considering how much she hates his guts.”

Somehow, Ellie’s behaviour made much more sense now.

“What did he say to her?” you mumbled impatiently, craving for answers.

Jesse sighed, visibly not feeling comfortable in this conversation. “Listen, it’s none of my business. You gotta ask one of them.”

“C’mon man!” you whined. “You can’t just leave me hanging!”

“I didn’t hear much of their altercation. But from the parts that I caught, I reckon it was about you. It got pretty ugly for a second, before Maria interfered.”

You were given what you had asked for, unsure whether this was the sort of answer you wanted.

A few seconds later, you and Jesse joined others in the living room. Not many people left, mostly just guys from your age group at patrols. Majority of them, including Obie, were sitting on the sofa, except for Dina and Jesse who were snuggling on one of the chairs. And Ellie, who’s presence was somehow different this time — more pleasant. After what you learned from Jesse about the incident, you felt a bit guilty for snapping at her this morning.

Although the reasons for your actions were justified. It was the anger and frustration bubbling inside you for the past few weeks that got triggered by Ellie’s stubborn persona and her need to have the last word. You had every single right to be furious with her, but right now — you couldn’t bring yourself to it.

So when your eyes were struggling to find hers, minute after you appeared inside, your heart sunk deep into your stomach. You wondered if seeing you and Obie disappear was the straw for her. If this was all she needed to be done with you. Maybe she left, choosing the comfort of her little shed in Joel’s backyard. A part of you wanted to run after her. To get the answers, to stop this madness.

Until you found her. Coming from the kitchen, she immediately saw you. A momentary smile was brought to your lips over that sudden sight of her. A momentary smile that she managed to spot and frown, confused.

Redness in your cheeks forced you to look away and sit down on the carpet, trying hard to avoid locking eyes with her. Unfortunately for you, her steps led to the same place you took. With all the space left to choose, she still sat down right next to you, her thigh casually brushing against yours, sending shivers down your spine. You didn’t dare to look at her, though you knew her eyes were all over you.

When you finally took the courage to do so, your eyes met with Obie’s. The kindness was gone for good once you spotted the viciousness aimed at you while his eyes danced from yours to Ellie’s.

Then Dina offered to play spin the bottle. The four of you had your own version, mostly just forcing the chosen one to do the stupidest shits for fun. The fact that this wasn’t the silly version you created in Ellie’s house became obvious the second Obie made his turn. This version, completely followed by his rules somehow turned to be his own form of vendetta.

Especially once the bottle pointed at Ellie.

“Fuck me,” she cursed under her breath.

Point of the original game was simple. The one spinning the bottle chooses the task for the selected one. Nothing's off limits and in case the player decides to refuse to finish demanded task, they have to handle a piece of clothing as a form of penalty.

“I’m all in for happy endings,” that smile pictured over his face reminded you of Cheshire Cat.

Ellie sighed with annoyance, definitely not having the time of her life.

“So how about you give that best friend of yours a little kiss? Or a big one. That’s totally up to you,” he grinned, sipping from his cup of beer. Visibly proud of what he was trying to achieve. “I’ll watch it anyway.”

For a second, you thought you might deserved to get this treatment from him. He was hurt by your actions. But not in any case, he had a single right to take out his anger on Ellie.

You stole a glance at her and noticed she was taking off one of her Converse sneaker. Without a single word, she tossed it right at him.

Cold sweat covered your body, realising what she just did.

Obie caught her shoe, slimy grimace on his face.

“And to think you wanted to break my nose for this,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Guess it wasn’t worth it after all. If this is what you want, then I'm happy for that sudden change of heart. But spare a thought for your best friend, she probably just got her heart broken.”

As soon as those words left his mouth, Ellie’s eyes met with yours, noticing the slight disappointment you tried so hard to cover up. You looked away, taking a deep breath. You didn’t want to make this any more embarrassing — knowing that’s exactly what Obie was hoping to achieve. Getting up and storming out the house wouldn’t be the smartest choice considering your current reputation so you stayed. Trying so hard to avoid Dina and Jesse’s confused looks pointed at you and Ellie.

As the rounds went on, so did the tasks. Dina and Jesse had to make-out which seemed rather ridiculous to you, considering they were doing this 24/7, mostly to annoyance of others. You sat on the floor uncomfortably, watching the two of them almost eat each other’s faces. For a second, you caught a sight of Ellie who shared mutual feelings till the moment she spotted you. Disgust was replaced with concern before you turned away.

For some reason, the bottle never pointed at you, much to Obie’s obvious disgruntlement. Must have been a blessing in disguise that saved you from one of his vicious tasks. Ellie, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky as you. And whenever the bottle stopped at her, Obie happened to be the one choosing the tasks. The second time she was dared, he ordered her to answers how many of her girl-friends she had kissed to which she replied by taking off her other shoe.

By the time the clock turned twelve, Ellie ended up totally barefoot, losing even her socks. You couldn’t help but wonder why did she choose to stay? Knowing how much she despised him, you thought she’d leave after that first task he came up with. But she stayed, losing pieces of her clothing as she refused to give him what he wanted.

It couldn't even be more embarrassing for you. Another two tasks ended up being somehow connected to your and Ellie’s relationship. You hated yourself for how much you told him about the two of you as it has become the perfect weapon for him to use. Making this whole night an unbearable experience for the both of you, but mostly Ellie. Who got the worst of it.

Eventually, he ran out of ideas. So when Jesse proposed to play seven minutes in heaven — right after Ellie got most of her belongings back, he couldn’t be more pleased with that offer. Obie as per usual, had to have his own rules. He declared to be the one choosing the couples to go into his pantry. Knowing how much he was enjoying the situation, you expected the worst outcome.

You sighed, looked right at him, sitting in the middle of the sofa, looking around to find his next target. The second his eyes landed on you, there wasn’t any pleasing result coming out of this.

“How about you, Y/N?” he asked, fake sympathy in his voice. “I feel like you’ve been pretty neglected tonight,” he mentioned, eyes pointing at Ellie.

You knew she was looking at you, but didn’t dare to assure yourself of that assumption.

“How about we spin the bottle to find your—“ he didn’t even finish his sentence.

Especially the second Ellie grabbed your hand and pull you up with her, forcing you to almost trip over your own feet.

“No need for that,” she mumbled, not even bothering to look at him.

Instead of that, she dragged out through to hallway, right into his kitchen. Letting the anger bubble up.

“Could you slow down?” you uttered, trying to stop Ellie.

Though she heard you, she didn’t bother to obey. Once she reached the pantry, she opened the door and pushed you in, her hand still holding yours.

“You do realise you could’ve just closed the kitchen door? We didn’t have to be stuck in here,” you whispered. “It’s not like he is going to get his ass out there to check it out.”

There wasn’t even the slightest concern towards your words. Instead of that she dropped your hand, taking a step closer to you, not leaving you any room for potential disagreement. Instead of that, she filled every inch of your comfort zone with her presence, grabbed your cheeks and pressed her lips against yours.

Without a single warning.

It lasted a second. A second that still managed to make it feel like a lifetime. A second that brought up all those memories from that night. That night that caused the two of you to grow apart.

It was shortly after Ellie called it quits with Cat. That evening you were at Joel’s house. You and Jesse offered to help move around some furniture in his living room and ended up having a dinner with him, Tommy and Maria. And, surprisingly, Ellie showed up. Overwhelmed with everything that happened over the past few days, she decided to accept Joel’s offer to join. She initially went there for new patrol schedule Maria left at his place. But once she saw you there, she couldn’t leave.

It was for the first time in weeks that the two of you got to talk. Both of you knew you needed to sort things out, once and for all. And Joel’s dinner turned out to be the best opportunity for it. You spent the whole dinner chatting and enjoying each other’s presence the way you used to. After that, Ellie spontaneously offered you to spend a night at her place, reviving one your oldest traditions.

“I didn’t bring my stuff with me,” you laughed while you were standing on Joel’s back porch.

“That didn’t stop you before,” she grinned. “I can lend you my space t-shirt.”

Your eyes lightened. Ellie’s space t-shirt was a piece of clothing that you absolutely adored. Blue shirt with solar system that Ellie found in one of the stores nearby during one of your patrols. Both of you had your eyes on it and she offered to sort the true winner with a game. So you rock-paper-scissored it and Ellie won. Though you were still convinced she was cheating which was why she never lent it to you.

“You mean the one I rightfully deserve?”

“Since when?” she mumbled sarcastically. “Are you gonna mention that—“

“That you cheated? Yes, I will,” you laughed. “Ellie you had paper and changed it to scissors in the last minute—“

“If I lend you that t-shirt, will you finally shut up about it?” she stopped you by stepping closer, smile dancing on her lips.

An hour later you were sitting on Ellie’s bed. You decided to watch one of her all time favourite movies but just after twenty minutes in, Ellie confessed she broke things off with Cat. Out of nowhere, she spilled it, forcing you to stop the movie and take a proper look at her. She explained you how this was the right call and she’s okay — because that’s what you wanted to know in the first place. If she was alright.

The two of you weren’t the most affectionate kind of friends but you couldn’t help this time. You moved closer, crossing to her part of the bed and leaned closer. Whispering a quiet sorry you pulled Ellie into a hug, knowing damn well you should’ve kept your distance considering your own unresolved feelings towards that auburn haired girl.

This was an exception you had to make. Her hands immediately wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer, your bodies brushing against each other. You were lying there in the darkness on Ellie’s side of the bed while her hands stayed pressed on your body parts. You felt her lingering touch on your hip and realised, now more than ever, how much you like being closer to her, physically. She was right behind you with her face snuggled into your neck and breath dancing on your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

You knew this wasn’t what friends were supposed to do. Yet there wasn’t a single bone in your body that would pull away from this. You slowly closed your eyes, trying to keep this memory of the two of you in your mind.

When Ellie broke off the silence.

“I saw you around town with Obie,” she whispered. “Jesse said that you guys are dating.”

The last thing you wanted to talk about was Obie. Obie who served as your form of escape from your feelings towards Ellie.

“We went out a few times, it’s fresh,” you mumbled, noticing the grip around your waist has loosened.

Cold sweat covered your body. You didn’t want to lose her, in any way. Physically or mentally.

“I don’t know if we’re dating. Nor if I want to,” you whispered.

“Why’d say that?” Ellie wondered.

“Let’s just say the first kiss wasn’t something I’d want to repeat,” you uttered, hearing Ellie’s muffled laugh.

You turned around, curious to see her reaction. A grin pictured on her face was enough for you to roll your eyes.

“I knew he was a bad kisser,” she grinned.

You laughed sarcastically. “How the hell would you know that?”

“Because he’s a guy,” she shrugged her shoulders. “Guys are not good at kissing. At least not as good as me.”

“Alright, Ms. Pretentious,” you shook your head, still laughing. “I think Dina would disagree with that statement.”

“That’s because she never kissed me,” Ellie winked at you.

A second later, the two of you burst into laughter.

“Poor Dina then,” you mumbled, wiping away your tears dramatically. “Poor me. If only I had kissed you before I had that horrendous first kiss—“

“Wait,” she stopped you. “It was your first kiss?” that pure shock in her voice confused you.

“Yeah, I just told you that my first kissed sucked,” you laughed.

“But I thought you meant first kiss with him,” she shook her head. “Not that it was your first first kiss.”

Silence settled across the room once again.

“Man, that really ruined the whole mood,” she mumbled.

Unbelievable gasp left your mouth. You reached for the pillow underneath you, hitting Ellie in the face.

“Hey!” she grabbed the pillow, laughing. “It’s not my fault you have poor taste in men.”

“Fuck you,” you frowned, turning your back at her.

Ellie’s hand touched your shoulder as she tried to turn you around.

“C’mon, Y/N,” she chuckled. “It was a joke.”

“If I have a poor taste in men, then you surely have a poor sense of humour.”

She giggled, enjoying the situation. She gave it a few tries to force you to look at her but ended up lying down next to you, defeated.

“Let me make it up to you,” she whispered, catching your attention.

It was the curiousness that led you to turn to her face, just a few inches away from yours. The closeness between your faces was driving you crazy. Adrenalin was running through your veins the second her hot breath brushed against your lips. You tried more than ever to keep your shit together while looking into her eyes.

“How?” you dared to ask.

“By giving you the kind of first kiss you deserve.”

You heart skipped a beat.

Now more than ever, you had to hold it together.

“I already had that one,” you whispered.

“Yeah well, how about I give you mine as well,” she moved closer, devilish grin settling on her face. “Then, you can decide which one was better.”

You’d be foolish to have any sort of objections. Considering the fact how much you wished for her to be your first kiss. How much you wished for her to look at you the way she used to look at Cat. How much you wanted Ellie to love you. The way you loved her.

That tension was undeniable. Ellie slowly leaned closer to your face, the tips of your noses almost touching. She was observing every single detail of your appearance, not rushing anywhere. Even the smallest birthmark seemed interesting enough for her at this moment. You’ve never felt so vulnerable. So loved as you did the moment her lips met with yours, causing an immeasurable amount of arousal explode in your body.

Understanding the fact that it was your first, proper kiss, she tried her best to make you feel as comfortable as possible. You always knew she was much more experienced than you which, in the end, made you feel better. Feeling that gentle touch of hers, feel her lips moving against yours. Whatever your idea was it wasn’t half as good as the reality. Reality that dawned on you the moment she pulled away.

Still staying closer, she licked her bottom lip, letting that devilish grin back.

“So?” she asked, already sensing what answer she’s getting. “Which one of your first kisses turned out to be better?”

And you wanted to get back at her so badly.

“Tough call,” you confessed.

Your words brought sudden confusion to her eyes.

Didn’t take her long to realise what you were up to.

“Tough call, you say?” she repeated your words, starting to close the distance, again. “Think I need another try to show you who’s the obvious winner.”

“I think you do.”

This time, she wasn’t holding back. Within seconds, she was sweeping her tongue between your lips, forcing a quiet moan to leave your mouth. She smiled to herself, grabbing both of your cheeks to pull you closer and deepen the kiss. You couldn’t describe any of those feelings running through your veins. A wave of arousal exploded in your body every time her tongue brushed against yours. More than anything, you were craving Ellie. Craving her touch, craving her kisses.

One kiss turned into another and before you knew it, you were sitting right on top of her, passionately kissing her while her hands were discovering the unknown places of your skin. That night you lost almost all your boundaries. Nothing would’ve stopped you from reciprocating every single kiss of hers. Shortly before sunrise, you fell asleep with Ellie tight grip around your waist and her lips tracking every inch of your neck.

Hoping this feeling of euphoria would last forever.

That, of course, required Ellie not to disappear in the morning. When you woke up, shortly after eleven, Ellie’s side of the bed was empty. Not leaving a single note behind, she took off. As the yesterday's remorse was slowly taking its rightful spot, you grabbed your belongings and left her house. You were supposed to see Obie that night as the two of you planned to have another date yet it seemed as Ellie’s presence wasn’t leaving your mind anytime soon.

As well as the unknown reason as for why she ghosted you. Though, you can’t say that your actions would be telling a different story. Not knowing how to face what you did, you accepted the same kind of tactic — pretending as if it never happened. Which, turned to an absolute nightmare. You knew doing what you did that night would’ve hurt you. But you didn’t expect that amount of madness to take over your mind.

Every time you were patrolling together in deadly silence, you thought of that night. You thought of her lips finding their way to yours. You thought of her lingering touch sending shivers down your spine. You were screwed, more than ever.

Especially once she stated that it was just a friendly thing. It was your first actual conversation since that night when Ellie proposed the two of you should not make a big deal out of it. A sentence that swiftly managed to break your heart and drive you right into Obie’s arms. Her words crushed you but more than that you wondered if that’s all you ever were for her. Just a friend.

Now she was standing right in front of you, pulling her lips away from yours.

And all of those feelings inside you were ready to explode.

“What the fuck was that?!”

You didn’t even bother to keep your voice down. You pushed her away, anger rising within you.

“What do you mean?” she whispered, properly taken aback by your reaction.

“What do you mean?” you repeated after her. “What do you think, Ellie?”

“Alright, now I’m confused,” she admitted. “I thought that you—“

“You thought what? That you had a right to do this?” you shook your head.

“Well, considering the look your were giving me while your fucking boyfriend was sitting a feet away—“

“Excuse me?!” you were losing all your temper. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Ellie?”

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” she couldn’t help but laugh.

“You didn’t have one nice word for me this morning on patrol and suddenly you feel an urge to kiss me?”

You couldn’t believe how lightly she was taking this whole situation.

“Thought I could win back my socks.”

That was all you needed to reach for the doorknob.

“I’m done—“

“No, no, no! Y/N, wait!” Ellie jumped right in front of you, forbidding you from leaving.

You didn’t want to look into her eyes but just like any other case — no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t resist.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered — honesty in her voice.

There it was, the guilt in her eyes.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, it was a joke,” she mumbled, all nervous. “Please, stay.”

And you realised, this might be the only opportunity for you, to sort things out.

So you took a step back and leaned against one of the cupboards. Giving it all one last shot.

Ellie eased up a bit, most likely rethinking all of her previous statements. For a second, it was quiet. With her, immersed in her thoughts and you — trying to find the right approach to this.

“Is it all a joke to you?” you whispered, wondering out loud.

Your words forced her to look into your eyes, facing her crimes.

“This, me and you, us. The kiss.”

Her eyes lightened up like the stars.

“Was it all a joke to you, Ellie?”

And then faded away.

“I don’t know whether you care or not but it was never a joke to me—“

“Then why were you with Obie?” she interrupted you. “If it wasn’t a joke, why did you went out with him that night? The night after I kissed you?”

There was pain her voice, though she took a mighty effort to cover that. She did it most of the time. Ellie always struggled with her vulnerability — mostly not knowing how to handle it properly. But you could always see right through her and she knew it.

“Why are you with him now, Y/N? When he’s acting like an absolute piece of shit—“

“Like you should be the one talking,” you mumbled sarcastically.

Hitting the right spot.

Ellie’s eyes widened over that sentence, not even trying to hide her pain this time.

Which you realised, just two seconds later and let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. It’s my fault he’s taking out all his anger on you.”

“I doubt that,” Ellie chucked quietly. “He was never a big fan of mine, if you haven’t noticed.”

You caught the weird vibe from them but paid no mind. Looking back, maybe you should have.

“I heard you two had a falling out last night,” you admitted, drawing even more of Ellie’s attention. “He didn’t told me. Jesse did.”

You answered the implied question.

“And did he tell you what was the reason?” Ellie asked carefully.

There wasn’t need to bring up what you knew from Jesse. You wanted to know the truth, directly from her — that’s why you shook your head, giving her an opportunity to speak up.

“I never really cared for him, until the two of you started dating,” she avowed. “I picked up on his hostility towards me pretty soon but until yesterday, I didn’t realised how much he despised me. I didn’t even want to go out, but Dina insisted. I wanted to leave as soon as I saw him. He had a lot to say. Mostly giving me shit for making you feel so miserable. He made it very clear you’re not available.”

“For who?”

“For me,” she said softly. “He told me to stay the fuck away from you, to which I asked him if he finally managed to improve his kissing skills.”

Maybe it was the result of everything that happened today or a pure madness that forced you to absolutely lose it over that statement. Either way, it took one look into each other’s eyes for both of you to burst out in laughter.

For a split of second, all the tension was gone. Once it again, it felt so easy. So simple. Like those endless nights in her little shed.

“You’re such an idiot,” you mumbled between laughs.

She felt relief, seeing a smile appear on your face — even more, knowing she was the reason.

“He’s an idiot,” she replied with a grin on her lips. “After that, the only thing he could do was call me a slur and I sorta lost it—“

“And nearly broke his nose?” you finished her sentence. “Heard that part.”

Ellie gave you a fleeting smile before she looked away, hypnotising her black sneakers.

“Well, me and that idiot broke up,” you confessed, seeing her eyes lighten up once again. “And the only reason I went out with him that night was because I thought you didn’t want me. Not the way I wanted you. I figured that was probably why you disappeared without a single world — wanting to avoid the awkward outcome.”

Now, she was the one in loss for words.

“I'm sorry about what he called you at Seth's,” you whispered. “And I’m sorry for what he did tonight.”

“He just saw the opportunity and he took it. It doesn’t matter,” Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. It never was.”

“I know, but still—“

“Y/N, shut up, I’m serious,” she laughed. “Stop being such a people pleaser.”

You felt slightly offended over that statement and she noticed. Just two seconds later, as soon as she saw the look in your eyes.

“I didn’t—“ she whispered. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

You nodded quietly, still glancing at the tips of your sneakers.

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath, rubbing her cheeks.

There it was again, the silence. And for a minute you thought that maybe this was to closure you were longing for. Just for a minute.

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Before she spoke again.

“We probably already waisted our seven minutes, so…“

“No, dumbass, I meant—“

“Seriously?” you stopped her, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

She clenched her fits, taking a deep breath.

“Y/N,” she whispered, “I meant get out of this house. I’ve had enough of stupid games and jealous boyfriends for one evening. Let me take you the hell out of this place. And fix this night while I still can.”

She was a feet away from you, but you could still see that glimpse of desire glancing in her green eyes. And no matter how much you tried, Ellie was too hard to resist. Especially in this moment.

A to be completely honest, you weren’t particularly keen on the idea of going back to the living room and face Obie and his bizarre vendetta tricks. A part of you already regretted going here in the first place — just a part, the rest was glad for that choice since it brought you and Ellie back together.

Ellie, whose hand was currently holding yours while she was trying to quietly sneak you out. She reached for her jacket on the hanger in the hall before she grabbed the doorknob and pulled you both out of that haunted house. Just as you crossed the doorstep, you thought of Jesse.

If it wasn’t for him and his impolite barging in, you and Ellie might never had this conversation. You could’ve gone home. Never knowing that you could’ve found an answer. And a solution. There was a guilt in you, for not saying goodbye to him — you felt like you owed him that.

But within seconds, you forgot about all of them. Because the only thing you could possibly think of was her. Ellie, whose hand was still holding yours as you were walking down the streets of Jackson town. You wondered if she did intentionally or simply paid no mind. You didn’t dare to ask or have any sort of objections — you were enjoying it more than you probably should.

There it was again, that feeling of simplicity. Hand in hand in the middle of the night, you thought of all those walks you and Ellie used to take. From time to time, when the two of you had a sleepover at her house and one of you couldn’t fall asleep, you’d took the flashlight and go out. Occasionally, you even traded the streets of Jackson for the world behind the gates.

Though, you were always very careful. You were aware of the growing tension between Ellie and Joel and knew that if one of Maria’s patrol men saw the two of you outside, they would certainly bother to share this information with him — causing Ellie even more trouble that she already had.

That’s why you mostly took midnight walks around her small neighbourhood. Sometimes even till the sunrise. Sometimes you spent hours talking, the other days you chose the enjoy each other’s presence in silence. And when Joel and Ellie stopped talking, you took these walks nearly every day.

You knew Ellie had nightmares. The bags under her eyes, the sadness in her face — you saw it every morning on patrol. And then she showed up at your house, at three fifteen in the morning, all sweaty and shaking. You walked around yours this time. You held her hand and kept talking. About everything that could keep her mind off that. That could keep those nightmares away.

You always took her back home. Tucked her in and sat at the edge of her bed till she fell asleep. Waited an hour to make sure those nightmares were not coming back. Only then you would go back to your place — after you knew that she was going to be alright. After you knew she was safe.

Ellie had a special place in your heart. And there was nothing in the world that could chance that.

No matter what happened between the two of you. She was sitting next to you right now, on the stairs of Joel’s back porch and you knew that if she got one of those nightmares again, you wouldn’t leave. You would stay there and hold her hand till she falls asleep.

“So this was your idea of fixing the night?” you asked, squeezing the beer bottle in your hand.

She brought you into her backyard, sneaked into Joel’s house and stole two beers from his fridge.

“How is this any different from sitting at Obie's porch?”

“That dick you dated is not here, that’a first bonus,” she grinned.

“And where’s the rest?”

Ellie couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You're really hard to please,” she laughed. “I wanted to spend time with you without risking any of those douchebags barging in.”

“You didn’t seem to care about that when you kissed me.”

That was a risky move.

Ellie put the beer bottle down, taking a deep breath.

“We don’t have to talk about that,” you whispered. “Again.”

Though you wanted it. You wanted it so badly. To get a clear answer from her, once and for all.

“I wanted to kiss you.”

There it was.

“In the living room, in front of him. After what he said, a part of me wanted to just shove it down his throat. Get that fucking grin off of his face.”

In all honesty, you struggled to pay attention to the rest of her speech after you heard the first sentence.

“But it wasn’t worth using you. I didn’t want you to think I kissed you, because I wanted to prove a point.”

You nearly got it.

“Then why did you want to kiss me?”

For a second, she looked into your eyes. “You know why.”

Nearly.

“No, Ellie. I don’t,” you whispered. “You might be surprised, but I have no idea why you do what you do. Because you never give me a clear answer—“

Not even bothering to let you finish your frustrated statement, she closed all the space left between the two of you and smacked her lips onto yours.

“If you’re gonna say that this is a clear answer, Ellie, I swear to God—“

“I wanted to do this the night I saw you in Joel’s dinning room. And morning after that, when I saw you sleeping on the other side of my bed. And then again, every single time I saw you walking around the town with him," she admitted. "It was driving me crazy, because I loved you, Y/N. I love you so much. And that’s the first and foremost reason as for what I did this. Today or any other day.”

Almost there.

“Then why did you leave?” you whispered the only thing on your mind. The one thing that’s been bothering you for weeks.

“Because I panicked,” she confessed. “I went out because I needed to clear my head — I didn’t know where we stand, where you and Obie stand. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should go back and if so — what to say. And when I saw you that night with him, I figured. Or at least I thought I did — until tonight.”

“You could’ve just ask me!—“

“And then what?” she interrupted you. “Was I supposed to beg you to break up with him? I felt like a selfish asshole just thinking about it.”

And then it all got to you. Weeks of avoidance, days of sleepless nights when the thought of her didn’t seem to leave your mind. The anger and frustration that you subconsciously tried to bottle up exploded.

Right into her face.

“You're such an idiot!” you bursted out. “Oh my god!”

It was safe to say that this wasn’t the kind of answer Ellie was hoping for after opening up to you. Hell, this was nowhere near what she was expecting. That sort of reaction caught her off guard — that was for sure. At least according to that confusion that appeared in her eyes, leaving her in an absolute loss for words for nearly twenty seconds.

“Excuse me?” she frowned.

“This was the moment you chose not to be selfish? You’re such a dick, Ellie!”

In your defence, you didn’t give yourself much time to rethink those words before they left your mouth — in fact, none. The ire got the best of you, it definitely wasn’t your finest moment. Though, no one would probably dare to blame you.

“You knew I was with him because—“

“Well, I know it now!” she mumbled sarcastically. “This is so fucking stupid.”

“Tell me about it.”

Every time you felt like you could finally reach the end, another obstacle emerged. The frustration felt never-ending. As if the two of you were walking in circles — again and again. Till one of you finally decides to make it stop.

“You wanna know where we stand? Well, so do I. And we’re never gonna get there if we’ll keep pointing fingers at each other,” you expressed.

“You’re the one calling me names.”

There it was again, the sarcasm. She was making difficult for you to stay patient.

“Ellie!—“

“Just wait here,” whispered and within seconds, got on her feet and headed towards her little house.

You obeyed, most due that confusion caused by her sudden resolute action. You stayed there, sitting on Joel’s cold stairs, replaying the events of tonight in your mind, till she hove into view again — this time with a piece of clothing in her hand.

That landed in your lap as soon as she sat down next you.

“Is that…” you stopped to take a better look at it.

Crumpled blue fabric that was slowly fading. Yet the solar system was still quite visible — enough for you be taken aback and pause for a second to process that. You needed a few seconds.

“The space t-shirt.”

You looked into her eyes, determined to find the answer.

“Why are you giving this to me?”

Why here? Why now?

There was way too many questions running through your head.

“I listened to you and I’m choosing a better moment for my unselfishness,” she replied softly. “I also might have considered that strange theory of yours…“

“Pardon me? It’s not a strange theory. I was the rightful winner from the beginning—“

“Yes you were,” Ellie admitted, nodding with a smile on her lips.

Which caught you by surprise. The look in her eyes, the spark shinning again.

“And I’m sorry it took me so long to realise that.”

Finally.

“It was yours from the beginning. And if I wasn’t so stubborn and overthinking everything, it could’ve been yours long time ago. I wanted nothing more than that.”

“I really hope we’re not talking about the t-shirt anymore.”

All the seriousness she was building up disappeared the second those words left your mouth.

“I was trying to be romantic!” Ellie mumbled between laughs. “You’re such an idiot, Y/N.”

“Romantic my ass! That’s the second time you called me an idiot today!”

“Because that’s who you are,” she whispered, devilish grin on her face.

You couldn’t help but to roll your eyes, annoyed.

“Seriously, this is the worst attempt—“

“But you’re my idiot,” she leaned to you, closing the space once again.

Again and again until her hands reached your cheeks as she pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

“Unless you don’t want to be,” she whispered into your lips. “My idiot.”

“Ellie, it took you weeks to say this, are we sure I’m the idiot here?”

She saw the sneer on your face.

“Shut up,” she chuckled, pecking your lips. “I love you. Is that good enough for you?”

“We’ll see. Do you have any better, less degrading nicknames for me?” you mumbled sarcastically.

You felt her breath dancing on your cold cheeks as she slowly leaned in, ready to kiss you again. “Wanna find out?”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagines #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #writing #the last of us #ellie williams tlou #tlou imagine #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #ellie williams x fem!reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #the last of us x reader #the last of us fanfiction #fanfic #short story #oneshot #ellie williams oneshot

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oddinary4bts · 1 year

Note

In that case I’ll request jungkook x oc with angst and fluff❤️‍🩹

He forgets her birthday😭😭

Gosh I hope this will hit good because I really like the ending, it makes my stupid lil heart flutter hahaha

Happy Birthday | jjk

☆pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

☆rating: 13+

☆genre: slice of life!au, angst, fluff

☆warnings: unedited, mentions of alcohol, crying on your birthday

☆word count: 2.2k

☆☆☆☆☆

You haven’t been dating Jeon Jungkook for a long time. Just a few months, and the honeymoon phase is still holding strong. At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself, because so far Jungkook has been nothing but an angel.

You met him by dumb luck months ago, as you were at a convenience store making yourself a cup of ramen to eat on the riverside. He came in to buy himself an iced drink, and on his way out you ran into him, dropping your ramen on the floor. Both of you were safe from the scalding water, but your snack was a mess on the floor when you had met his gaze.

The moment you saw his doe eyes, you swear you heard bells in the distance. And then he insisted on buying you another pack of ramen, and you ended up eating along with him, watching the sunset over Han River. It was a strange first date, and it was followed by a week of hanging out practically every day, until Jungkook said he was going away for work for two weeks.

He called you every day, told you he couldn’t wait to come back and see you again, and that most of all was the reason why you told him yes when he asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend the day he came back.

Since then, your relationship has been smooth sailing. Though Jungkook does work a lot, you still manage to see each other almost every day, even if it’s just for fifteen minutes during a coffee break.

The week of your birthday, Jungkook announces that he’s going to be gone for three days, and though you pout he doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Mostly because he receives a phone call, and by the time he hangs up, he tells you he wants to cook you your favourite meal and really, you can’t be upset when this man cooks for you. So you let it slide, knowing that he’ll still figure something out to do for your birthday, because that’s just the kind of man that he is.

Unfortunately, the day of your birthday, Jungkook only texts you once in the morning to say that he’s going to be super busy all day. He’s in Busan, so he’s miles away from you, and there’s no way you can hope to see him. It makes your heart ache in your chest somehow, but you know just how important Jungkook’s job is to him. So you don’t say anything, deciding to focus on your own day at work instead.

During your afternoon break, Yeonchae, your favourite coworker, suggests going to a restaurant tonight to celebrate your birthday, probably sensing that you are getting more angsty with every minute that passes without Jungkook wishing you a happy birthday.

It’s stupid, you think. To be upset over such a thing, You’re an adult, and you know he’s just busy. Yet, at 9 pm, when you make your way home, tipsy from all the soju you drank with Yeonchae and the other coworkers that came to dinner, you can’t stop your eyes from welling up with tears at the sight of your empty apartment. You sit on the couch, not even turning the lights on, and you look at your phone, watching the empty conversation with Jungkook.

His morning text is still the only thing he’s sent you, and you can’t help the dread that takes over you. Because why didn’t he text all day? It takes only a second to type out a text after all. The tears in your eyes lose the fight against gravity, and you hide your face in your hands, realizing that maybe, maybe Jungkook doesn’t care for you the way that you care for him. Maybe the honeymoon phase was bound to end anyway.

You startle when you hear someone dialing the code of your front door. You look up, just in time to see Jungkook walking in, duffel bag on his shoulder. He finds you where you’re sitting, but in the darkness he doesn’t notice your tears right away.

What is he doing here anyway? He was only supposed to come back tomorrow night.

“What are you doing in the dark?” Jungkook asks. He turns on the light, closes the door behind him before kicking off his shoes, dropping the duffel bag by the door. He’s sliding his feet in his favourite slippers that he’s left at your place months ago when he looks towards you again, and he freezes like a deer in headlights. “Is something wrong?” he asks, looking utterly terrified at the sight of your tears.

Your face falls in your hands again because, really, why does he sound like he cares when he couldn’t even remember something quite as simple as your birthday?

“Why are you crying?” he asks then, and he jogs to your side, kneeling in front of you. His large hands gently caress the side of your thighs, barely even grazing you through the fabric of your dress pants. “What’s wrong, princess?”

You take a deep breath, leaning back into the couch, head angled towards the ceiling. You dry your tears, avoiding his gaze as you take in a shuddering breath. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” he trails off. “I got my work done today so I could be back in time for your birthday tomorrow,” he explains. "That's why I was super busy today."

That stops the flow of tears, and you let out a nervous laugh. “My birthday tomorrow?”

He nods, slightly confused, and you finally look down at him. He’s big doe eyes are laced with concern and love, and he looks divine kneeling in front of you like this, like he’s an angel fallen from heaven. A guardian angel, someone to keep you warm and safe in this bleak world.

“Jungkook, my birthday was today,” you whisper.

His eyes widen and all that he says is, “No”.

That has a chuckle falling from your mouth. “I think I know when my birthday is.”

He shakes his head no, horror creeping into his gaze. His hands fall on his thighs, balling into fists, and he looks away from you, shame replacing the horror. “I am so, so sorry. I thought…” He pulls at his piercing, and then his tongue pokes at his cheek in frustration. “I was convinced it was tomorrow. I wanted to be back in time so I could spend the day with you.”

You lean forward, gently cupping his cheek to attract his gaze again. He meets your bloodshot eyes, looking so apologetic you want to pull him into a tight hug. “I thought you forgot,” you admit.

“No!” He shakes his head again. “No, I didn’t. I am such an idiot.”

A small smile graces your lips. “Just a little.”

He scrunches his nose up cutely, before looking down at your lips as they slightly tremble. Fresh tears roll on your cheeks, surprising both you and him, and he moves to your side, pulling you into his embrace.

You rest your head against his chest, the fabric of his oversized jumper absorbing your tears until you’ve left a wet spot behind. Jungkook runs a hand along your back, soothingly, murmuring apologies and soft promises of his love and adoration for you. It soon replaces the ache in your chest with longing, and you raise your head to look at him.

His waterline is wet, and he blinks a few times as he offers you a sweet smile. It makes you lean forward, and you press the lightest kiss on his lips, sighing against him. It feels like coming home, and when he deepens the kiss, hands moving up to cup your face, your hands grab at his shirt, holding him close.

His thumbs caress the skin of your cheeks, drying the tears, and when you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours.

“I am so sorry,” he apologizes again.

You laugh, softly. “It’s okay. You’re here now.”

You feel him smile more than you see him. “I have the whole day off tomorrow, we can spend it all together. I planned some stuff too, so I hope you aren’t supposed to be busy.”

“You know I have tomorrow off,” you remind him.

At that he laughs, pulling away so he can look you in the eyes. “That’s why I thought your birthday was tomorrow. I’m so sorry I got it all wrong.”

You can’t blame him, because you can understand why he would have assumed you’d take the day off on your birthday. The reason why you chose tomorrow is because it’s Friday, so at least you’d get a longer weekend.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him once again, pecking his lips once. “Now we get to spend the whole day together tomorrow.”

He nods, and he smirks lightly. “I hope you’re ready for some convenience store ramen,” he says teasingly. “And a stroll along Han River.”

Your heart flutters in your chest, your affection for him warming your insides the way a fire warms the hearth that it burns in. “Like when we first met.”

He nods again, his smirk growing into the bunny smile you’ve come to love. “This time I won’t make you drop it, I promise.”

You laugh, slightly shaking your head, though you wouldn’t mind. Because after all, that unfortunate accident led to you loving him, and to him loving you back. You can’t think of anything more beautiful than that.

“I do have a dinner with my parents scheduled,” you tell him. “My mom would love if you came.”

“Then I will!” he says, and he pulls you closer so you can rest your head on his chest again. “And after that, we can go to one of the noraebangs you love so much. We can even invite some of your friends.”

That makes you shake your head no as you chuckle. “You just want to show off.”

Because Jungkook doesn’t only have the face of an angel, he also owns the voice that comes with it.

“Maybe.”

You laugh along with him, arm wrapping around his waist as he presses a kiss on top of your head. You remain in this position for a while, just enjoying the proximity of the other, even though it’s only been a few days since you’ve seen each other. You listen to the melody of Jungkook’s heartbeat, tracing random patterns on his waist, and at a certain point, you look up, resting your chin on his chest. He pecks your forehead, and a wide smile grows on your lips.

“I’m glad you’re here,” you admit, the feeling of angst that was clinging to you all day now long forgotten. “And that I get to spend the night with you.”

He smirks, winking at you. “I promise I’ll treat my birthday girl right tonight.”

It makes you laugh, right as he plants another kiss on your forehead.

“Now,” he says after your laughter has subsided, “what about watching that movie you’ve been wanting to watch? I’ve got some snacks in my bag and…”

When he falls silent, cheeks slightly tinting with pink, you smile knowingly.

“And?”

He pulls on his piercing, chuckling awkwardly. “I might have gotten you a gift.”

You kiss his cheek, before straightening. “Bring me the snacks and gift,” you command with a fake authoritative voice that makes him burst out laughing.

He still gets up and goes to his duffel bag, where he retrieves chips and some of your favourite sweets, along with a small gift bag. He brings his findings back to you, putting the snacks down on the coffee table before handing you the gift.

You take it, smiling up at him before you take out a small velvet box from it. At first, you’re convinced it’s an engagement ring, but when you open it, you find the most delicate gold pendant at the end of a gold chain. It’s a rose, and it’s so artfully crafted you can’t help the awe that moves through you.

“It’s so pretty,” you whisper.

“Not as much as you,” he teases, and he sits back down next to you, resting one of his large palms on your back. “I’m glad you like it,” he adds after you’ve thrown him a no-bullshit look.

“Of course I do,” you say, focusing on the pendant once more. You carefully take it out of the box, putting the latter down to the side before you turn to Jungkook. “Can you…”

He nods before you finish the sentence, pushing your hair to the side. He presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder as you hand him the pendant, and then he gently clasps the chain behind your neck, fingers leaving goosebumps on your nape where they barely even graze the skin. He holds your arms when he’s done, pressing another kiss to your neck.

You sigh in contentment, before turning to look at him.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers, eyes full of stars and adoration.

“Thank you, Kook.”

And when he smiles again, so warm and inviting and familiar, you realize that, had it been an engagement ring, you would have said yes with no hesitation.

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soleilnomoon · 1 year

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geto suguru x fem reader | issa toxic affair, y'all.

6.2k words (i know, i know), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; angst city, angst angst city biiitch (yk the vibes) & smut (obvy); feat. cute stuff like a lil' degradation, toxic ass relationship, a lil infidelity, obsessive love & jealousy, lovers 2 exes 2 enemies 2 lovers, public indecency, hand job, oral (f receiving), knife play, a lil bit of blood kink, alcohol, geto is a certified asshole & but reader gets him back, yandere reader bc i love being toxic, gojo makes an appearance! also idk other stuff probably idr ok; also reader is black bc i said she is. this is for @510hz's how to be a heartbreaker collab event (ty so much for letting me participate, i had fun truly). this was inspired by mariana's "power & control"; there's also a lil inspo from "the glory" in there, you'll see. it took me forever but i survived, i hope y'all survive reading this 🤭 (if u see typos/grammatical errors no u didn't)

“you horrify me. but at the same time, / i horrify myself. we are horrible.” – hélène cixous

there’s a name for the disease you have; it’s called foolishness, or, in layman’s terms: love.

your mother warned you long ago, to guard your heart — to ensure that no man could penetrate the thick walls encasing it — yet there you are, a silly, pathetic thing scurrying behind a man who would readily cast you aside if it suited him. you truly did resist him at first; you rebuffed his advances with polite smiles and curt responses, yet he persisted daily and, in hindsight, obsessively.

it’s in his nature, after all.

a man like geto suguru simply does not concede if his pride is on the line — and your initial rejection did, in fact, bruise his ego; although, he’ll never openly admit that.

when he does manage to wiggle his way into your heart, with his charming smiles, small gestures that you somehow misinterpret as kindness, you steadily fall for him. it’s not your fault, not really. geto is just that damn good at figuring people out; and with you, it wasn’t difficult. he found it remarkably easy to sway you, he almost felt bad.

almost.

the first few months are pure bliss; he picks you up promptly for dates, takes you to nice restaurants in the city, pays for spa days and shopping sprees — buys you things you never really allowed yourself to buy on your own, surprises you with lavish floral arrangements that make you cry needlessly over how tragically romantic he’s being. and, suddenly, your heart, which was so strongly protected, becomes vulnerable and falls under his control. it flutters around helplessly in the gilded cage he’s crafted for it — a too-tight fit, where every time you exhale you feel the thick bars pressing tightly and you suffocate — but still, love makes you think that all of this is worth it in the end.

as long as geto calls you his, that’s all that matters.

when he calls your phone, you pick up on the first ring, eager and desperate —to hear the dulcet tones embedded in his voice, the words saccharine and carefully picked; things you’ve always wanted to be told, he whispers them all to you before you fall asleep.

but the thing about geto is, boredom is never too far away from him.

it wraps itself around his arms one morning, slithers along and drenches his skin, completely warping his sense of morality — making him much more severe and uncaring than he normally is. all your cute, quirky traits become bothersome to him; he tires of your laugh, doesn’t care to see that sparkle in your eyes whenever he shows up at your front door, and listening to you drone on and on about things that you like bores him to tears.

when he fucks you, it’s impassively, as if it’s something he needs to tick off his list of weekly duties, rather than something he chooses to do because he genuinely wants to be intimate. you don’t question it at first, but it becomes painfully obvious — and awkward — when he leaves every time, not bothering to kiss you goodnight or even look your way. your mind is cruel one morning, when you reflect on how sex with geto is mostly about him getting off and not you; it never bothered you before, but as the months go on, it starts one of many tiny cracks in his veneer.

the rejection is unbearable — tangible in the way it makes you sluggish and depressed — but you deal with it; you must, after all, he’s the love of your life. you simply can’t imagine being with anyone else now.

geto becomes the very man your mother warned you about, but you ignore it without question.

love is work, you remind yourself for the umpteenth time as you sit in the back of your favorite restaurant, checking the time repeatedly and seeing that he still hasn’t shown. you’re in a modest dress with a slit down the side and you’ve already downed two glasses of wine without him. it’s been forty minutes, the server keeps checking on you, giving you pitying looks despite your smiles and insistence that your boyfriend is definitely on his way.

but the longer you sit there, the less sure of that you are.

eventually you leave; they don’t charge you for a thing and you thank them for their kindness — pity, really — and head home. you try calling geto and get his voicemail again; so you leave yet another teary message, this one more incoherent than the last two, and toss your phone onto your vanity before crying yourself the sleep. you don’t know what to do with this feeling — the hopelessness is eating you alive; or maybe it’s just the wine making you overly sensitive.

geto knows he’s an asshole and relishes in it.

he has his notifications silenced while he’s downtown with a few close friends, partying in an exclusive lounge, drinking until his head grows heavy. he doesn’t remember how he gets back to his place, and barely remembers who he fucked that night, but he does have the common decency to kick them out come morning. he’s hospitable like that. his head throbs as he scrolls through his phone, promptly ignoring the twelve texts from you and the fifteen missed calls. gojo called him heartless last night, which he thought was ridiculous — he has a heart, it just doesn’t always work properly; geto now assumes gojo was referring to his mistreatment of you.

something about that nags at him a little, so he decides to play nice and call you back. the phone continues to ring as he lounges on the plush couch in his living room, causing him to frown; very strange. you normally pick up for him right away, but you’re not answering. he should be concerned, but he chalks it up to you sleeping and decides to try again in an hour.

after his third time calling, annoyance turns into anger which fuels his petty jealousy.

what could you possibly be doing that would require you to ignore him — him — of all people?

“y/n,” he says as calmly as he can while his hand grips his phone tightly, it’s his fourth voicemail, but he doesn’t really care. “i don’t know what game you’re playing at, but i assure you… you won’t win.” he doesn’t elaborate past that, and instead throws his phone at the nearest wall — not bothering to pick it up once it clatters onto the hardwood floor. his anger surprises him; subduing certain emotions is an art for him, so all of this feels very new and uncomfortable.

he tells himself this weakness is only temporary, and that you’ll come to your senses too. except, you don’t. you don’t call him back; you don’t bother texting, and you don’t listen to his voicemails until three days later. when geto finds you, you’re in the middle of rewatching your favorite show for the tenth time, eating leftover pizza in your pajamas.

with his nose wrinkled, geto shuffles through your apartment, taking note of the pile of dishes in your kitchen and the way you’ve completely let go of yourself. he’s appalled that a woman like you has succumbed to the frivolities that accompanies hurt feelings. he even says as much to you when you fail to greet him or acknowledge his presence.

it's when he turns off the tv, that you blink several times, sluggish and confused before realizing that the beautiful man before you is not a figment of your imagination.

“suguru,” you sound his name out like it’s unfamiliar, your tongue thick from keeping quiet these past few days; your mind’s a mess, you’re still reeling from the betrayal of him clearly abandoning you, discarding you like you’re just a toy that he’s long forgotten on the street. he snaps his fingers impatiently in front of your face to get your attention again.

“wh-what is it?”

he frowns again. “what do you mean ‘wh-what is it’?” his mockery of your voice and his accompanying sneer is unbecoming of him, you think, but you don’t say that out loud; instead you put down the pizza you were nibbling and yawn languidly.

“you don’t have to be an ass,” you remark carefully, finally glancing up at him as though you’re seeing him for the first time. love muddled your vision, but now you can see geto suguru for all that he is. a liar, a conman, a shitty human being; but most importantly, he’s still the love of your life. you take that last bit seriously; maybe a little too seriously.

but love has a way of making you foolish in ways that are incomprehensible to others.

geto narrows his eyes at you before his lips twitch and he laughs at your insolence. “okay, that’s fair. i did stand you up, after all.”

you turn back to the tv and shrug, flicking a few crumbs off your shirt. “doesn’t matter. what’s done is done.”

for some reason, your apathy agitates him greatly. your tone is off — detached, devoid of the usual joviality that you have whenever he’s around; he figures that he deserves that, but he knows you won’t be mad at him for long. you never are.

“don’t get ahead of yourself, y/n,” his words drift through the air, venomous and well-practiced — he’s mastered the art of tearing down others without even trying — his annoyance reaches its peak when you ignore him and he exhales loudly, as if the entire situation has bored him to death. “since you obviously don’t give a damn about my presence,” he starts, not bothering to hide his malice or irritation, “i’ll give you what you want.”

which is space. permanently — at least, that’s what he thinks you want anyway. he slams the copy of your apartment key onto the coffee table — something that would’ve made you flinch days ago, but you’re so numb you barely notice.

it’s unbelievable that after a year, this is how you treat him; maybe it’s for the best that he’s breaking up with you. after all, he’d never be able to tolerate you having the upper hand in the breakup. still, it does concern him a bit that you’re not reacting in the way you usually would; did he honestly break your heart that badly that you’ve taken to retreating to the far recesses of your mind? not that it matters to him; you served your purpose and wore out your welcome eight months ago.

he just needed a reason to end it.

once he leaves, you feel like you can breathe again. and after a few minutes, you realize what just happened. you scramble off the couch, heart beating rapidly, palm slick with perspiration as you yank open the door and call out to him.

but he’s long gone; already driven off, ready to take on the world without you.

you wear your rejection like a bruise that won’t ever heal; each word said, each call and text ignored, is like a punch in the same spot over and over.

will you ever be able to move on properly?

it’s not really his problem if you can or can’t get over him, as he’s already moved on within the hour. the thing about geto is, he always assumes he’s the one in control — that he holds all the cards in his hands; but he isn’t. he forgets that you’re entirely too observant for your own good, curious, resourceful, and lethal when provoked long enough. you foolishly grab your car keys and drive to his place in the middle of the night; you ignore traffic lights, drive faster than necessary, swerve in and out of traffic as a fit of madness course through your veins.

love continues to delude you into thinking that there’s a way to fix it all; there has to be, it’s the only thing you can believe in right now.

you think about ringing his doorbell, think about calling and texting, think about just banging on his window and demanding he let you in. but you don’t. instead, you lean against your car, dark, heavy clouds looming over that part of the city as rain comes down hard and practically oppressively.

but you don’t move.

you stand there, shivering; soaked from head to toe, hands balled into fists — his last words playing over and over in your mind, like a song you can’t seem to forget. and every time you hear his voice, your heart shatters a little more; you imagine he’s having fun inside, laughing with gojo and whatever new flavor he’s decided to whet his appetite with. you want to give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe he’s having a bad week? maybe he didn’t mean to break up with you; but the longer you try to convince yourself, the sharper his betrayal becomes.

the truth is bitter, inedible, and harsh; it clamps around your mind as the remnants of your heart morphs into ash.

you bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood, but you don’t feel it; how can you, after all that’s happened?

eventually, you hop into your car and drive to your best friend’s house — she’s the only one you can go to, now that you’ve realized that geto is serious about leaving you. after pouring your heart out and downing a few more glasses of wine, your best friend takes you by the shoulders and shakes you repeatedly.

“y/n,” she says calmly, eyes soft and warm, “honestly, babe, you need to move on from him. is he worth all of this trouble?” you consider her question, roll your bottom lip in between your teeth before answering properly.

“of course, he is,” you say quietly, and then a little louder, “my love for him is so strong that i actually think i hate him.” you’ve never seen your best friend so speechless in your life, but there she is, unable to formulate an appropriate enough response to talk you out of this.

but the thing is, as soon as those words leave your mouth, it finally clicks; all the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle set perfectly in place. how could you have been so foolish?

you love him so much that you hate him, and your hatred is so strong that it can only be perceived as love. it’s irrational, maddening, incredibly toxic; but you revel in it. you know what you need to do, you just need time to do it.

days blend into weeks, and weeks to months; you sell your soul to get back your dignity, that determination that geto stupidly overlooked continuously fuels your quest for revenge. you disappear from the city, change your phone number, leave your apartment, and become a nonthreatening ghost from geto’s past. he forgets about you every time he sleeps with someone else, forgets about you whenever he goes on vacation, forgets about you as he whispers the same sweet things to another over and over and over again.

his ego is something to be marveled, and he feels a little unstoppable these days.

six months later, geto finds himself at a stuffy gala — one that his company’s holding to legally siphon money from the upper 1% under the guise of philanthropy — and spends most of the night dodging gojo’s questions over another failed relationship.

“you really don’t think you’re the problem?” gojo says in between sips of champagne, eyeing his best friend through his dark shades, and smiling as if he already knows the answer to that particular question.

geto lets out a frustrated groan and rolls his eyes. “i’m not doing this with you.” because the last thing he needs, is gojo killing his buzz. he glances at the people in attendance, dark eyes flicking over each guest, seemingly uninterested in any of them until you walk in.

he’s not sure it’s you at first, as your beauty captivates him in a way that doesn’t make sense to him. you’re in a pair of heels that look equal parts elegant and enticing, a shimmering, gold gown with a plunging neckline and incredibly high slit. the color offsets the warm undertones of your rich, brown skin that seems silky and otherworldly under all the lights in the room. geto blinks several times, almost as if he can’t believe that it’s you. and, if it wasn’t for gojo making comments about how he didn’t realize you had curves like that, geto might’ve believed you were a figment of his imagination.

how the tables turn.

your date escorts you to a table towards the back, one that’s close enough that geto can watch you properly. something about you is different. he’s not sure if it’s the confidence you exude as you smile coyly at some of the other guests, plump lips curving upward whenever another man asks to make your acquaintance. you keep your head held high, graceful, as if you belong with that crowd — even though geto knows you don’t. you’d never be able to come to an event like this on your own, but he isn’t upset about that.

what he’s upset at, is your date’s hand lingering on your thigh, thumb caressing your knee as he leans over to whisper something in your ear; that’s your cue to smile demurely and swat at his hand. the laugh is well timed — you even throw your head back, offering geto a full view of your elongated neck and round breasts that cling to the fabric of your gown. you excuse yourself under the guise of going to the restroom, and walk past geto without glancing at him — it’s difficult, you so badly want to turn and watch his reaction, but you keep strong, hips swaying as you take the first hallway on your left.

he’s not sure if it’s curiosity, jealousy, or insanity that drives him to get out of his seat and stalk after you. geto was done with you, he knew that — you knew that — but there he is, chasing you like some lovesick teen that can’t seem to get their unrequited crush out of their head. thankfully, the hallway is empty, so when he rounds the corner, he finds you standing there, checking out your reflection in your compact mirror. you feign surprise when you realize someone’s there, one that morphs into temporary confusion before you smile sweetly at your ex-boyfriend.

“well, isn’t this a fun surprise,” you say airily, a sly smile tumbling onto your lips as you make your way over to him. he’s somehow forgotten how to breathe while simultaneously forgetting that you always looked like this — overwhelmingly beautiful and alluring — he just insisted you dress plain on purpose. you like that he’s speechless; you like that his eyes haven’t left you since you walked into the gala. when you get close enough that he can see just how long and thick your lashes are, he finally snaps out of his stupor — somewhat.

“y/n,” he says belatedly, a bit of awe and amusement coloring his voice, “i’m surprised to see you.” what he really wanted to say, was that he’s trying to remember why he broke up with you in the first place — because nothing comes to mind. not when you reach your hand to delicately tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear, not when you intentionally place your hand on his chest, and call out his name softly, almost like a whisper before you take a step back.

“i changed my number,” you say in order to drive the point home and pluck your new phone out of your clutch. “and i moved, but i’d love to catch up with you.” he doesn’t say anything when you type your contact information in his phone and when your lips brush against his cheek, he’s reminded of just how much he adored you initially. he wants to ask why you’ve suddenly come back, but the words stick to the roof of his mouth — thick and impossible to remove, slowly rotting through his common sense. it must be some absurd act of possession that has him pull you close enough to brush his lips against yours; you relish in the nostalgia of the moment, with memories of him kissing you spontaneously during your dates — after all, you’ve been in this position so many times before.

the difference? your claws are sharper, dipped in one of the most potent poisons in the world — hatred.

but you have a role to play now: the naïve ex-girlfriend, who knew nothing of the world before meeting him. geto’s ego knows no bounds when you part your lips for him effortlessly, back arching as he runs his hand down it; his fingers are cool against your exposed skin and you shiver from the contact. he smirks at that, liking that he can still get that sort of reaction out of you. time is essential now, so you kiss him suddenly — your lips soft, supple, and sweet as ever.

geto uses that opportunity to slip is tongue inside of your mouth and familiarizes himself with your taste. you whimper softly and he smirks, thinking that he’s somehow won you over all over again, especially when you drag your nails down the back of his neck, scratching his skin without a care. they’re much sharper than he’s known them to be, and while the sting is tolerable, it’s also annoying. yet he can’t seem to pry himself away; your body feels perfect against his, and you surprise him once again when you rub your hand against his cock. geto’s never known you to be that bold before — and in public too? your kiss transforms into something much demanding, and before he realizes it, you’ve unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants.

a heat passes through both of you — and you almost forget yourself as you fall into a familiar dance, kissing him fervently as you wrap your hand around his cock. it stiffens almost immediately, a painful reminder that he’s still impossibly attracted to you, despite what he told himself months ago. you get drunk off of the power you hold over him — the man who mercilessly crushed your heart and left you alone to deal with the aftermath — and have to remind yourself that you’re only supposed to tease him a bit.

his breathing grows uneven, and it’s comical how he’s forgotten that anyone can easily walk in on you two — he just doesn’t care. he’d fuck you in front of everyone just to prove a damn point. your hand strokes faster, twisting as it moves up and down his thick length, his skin hot and smooth, keeping you in a daze. it’s always been like that with you — getting so hopelessly caught up in him that you forget anything else exists.

a voice in the back of your mind tells you to slow down, but you ignore it — the thrill of feeling each jerk of his hips has you moaning into his mouth, breathlessly kissing him like you have all the time in the world.

except you don’t.

the reality of that hits you faster than you’d like, so you bite his lip hard enough to draw blood. you pull away after, almost innocently and lick the blood off of him. the move practically pushes him over the edge, and he has to tell himself that he shouldn’t try fucking you in that hallway. you do your best to catch your breath and blink slowly as you both look at each other. to give yourself a bit of an edge, you swipe your thumb against the tip of his cock and admire the precum on your hand. you bring it up your lips, tongue gliding against your skin to savor the taste of him. it’s a polarizing and captivating experience; something about that makes him want to kiss you all over again, but he refrains from doing so, instead focusing on tucking himself in and fixing his clothes properly.

if you were cruel, you’d take a picture of this moment — of geto with a slightly heaving chest, flushed cheeks, confusion etched on his face as if he doesn’t understand why he let himself get carried away like that. your lipstick is smeared prettily against his lips — red, intoxicating, and ominous.

you smile at that; happy that you’ve successfully integrated yourself into his life again.

“let’s… pick this up again sometime,” your voice has a strange lilt to it — coy and musical, dangerously sultry. his heart skips a beat, and he thinks he’s gone mad; geto doesn’t swoon or obsess the way others do for him. but you’re different now, much more interesting, and mysterious. he knows there’s something wrong with this picture, but he can’t seem to connect the dots just yet.

he doesn’t get another chance to talk to you, as your date keeps you busy most of the night; you don’t bother looking at geto until the end of the event, where you wiggle your fingers at him before leaving.

as soon as you get into your date’s car, you get a text message from a number you’ve memorized by heart and smile as you mentally list all the things you need to do before your revenge can be complete.

little does he know, you haven’t moved at all; you still own your old apartment, but you don’t stay there. you temporarily moved into your childhood friend’s place — a ritzy, luxurious high-rise apartment by the beach — while they travel for work out of the country. it’s all for show, of course; you need geto (and gojo, by extension) to think you’ve somehow elevated yourself financially, that you’re successfully integrated into similar social circles, that you can casually score invites to lavish events that cater to the wealthy elite. after changing out of your gown and into something comfortable, you decide to pay a visit to your old place; it’s mostly empty, save for your old bedroom.

you poured your savings into surveillance equipment, have monitors set up around the room, have hundreds of candid pictures of geto and the people he frequently associates with over the past six months plastered all along the walls. you’ve scribbled out his face in most of the pics, and have drawn lines and arrows, written incoherent notes to yourself — making connections and scenarios so that your contingency plans are unshakeable.

geto texts you again and you smile to yourself, loving the way you’ve already slithered into his mind after one brief conversation with him. he doesn’t realize you’ve been watching him all this time, doesn’t realize that you placed cameras in his home, doesn’t realize that you have unfiltered access to his computer and phone — it pays to have friends who dabble in those things.

you make some tea before sitting on the cushy computer chair as you watch geto stress over you not texting him back; you chuckle and spin around in your chair, elation building up in your chest, rattling that gilded cage around your heart. he’s so stupid, it’s almost too easy; you open the text thread with him, start typing out a bogus response for a few minutes, then delete it and leave him on read.

it takes him half an hour to really lose his mind over you not texting him back, and all you can do is laugh until tears fall out of your eyes.

you want him to fall so hopelessly in love with you, that you become his very reason for living and breathing. then you want to carve out his heart and leave him behind. a perfect plan, really; there are some kinks you still need to iron out, but you know, in time, that everything will go as planned.

uneasiness settles into geto’s stomach over the next few weeks; you barely text him back, and when he calls, you’re always busy. it’s foolish the way he’s pining after you; he knows it’s just because he hasn’t seen you in a long time, but something about you is just so… different. the way you abruptly cut conversations short with him, how you keep rescheduling lunch and dinner with him; how you intentionally let yourself be seen on social media with various men and women. and even when he wants to delete your number and block you, he can’t seem to do it.

because there’s no logical reason why he should be upset. you two aren’t dating anymore, this is just his lust-ridden brain taking hold of his common sense. or, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

when you do manage to see him for dinner one night, you tease him mercilessly and without remorse. at first, geto thinks he has control over the flow of the conversation. you keep blushing whenever he strokes your palm, giggle appropriately when he bumps his knee against yours, and act demure when he gives you permission to order anything off the menu. and you do; the guilt you used to feel is nowhere to be found, instead you thrive in the high that accompanies spending his money frivolously.

in return, you slide your foot up along his leg — slow and tenuous, the first course in your act to capture his heart completely — flirt heavily without restriction and encourage him to keep ordering drinks. geto grows tired of dragging things out and insists you continue the evening back at his place.

“oh,” you say softly and, after a long drawn out moment, your lips curve into a knowing smile.

after you’re both full and pleasantly tipsy, he takes you to his place; in his mind it won’t be long before he has you begging him to fuck you — and then he can finally be rid of this ridiculous obsession. you barely make it through the door because his hands are all over you, tugging roughly on your dress to take it off of you. if you weren’t so determined to see this through, you’d laugh — at his eagerness, at his annoyance with the matter, at your uncanny ability to fool him into thinking that you really want him back.

you lay on his bed, legs spread wide, arousal dripping from your folds as he kisses along the inside of your thighs. normally, geto is an incredibly selfish lover — but tonight, he busies himself with devouring you entirely. almost like he’s trying to make up for lost time. your skin is littered with bite marks and hickeys, but you don’t mind; a few battle scars are necessary in the long run. an unprecedented hunger takes hold of his mind — drives him to eat your pussy with vigor and passion. you roll your hips forward, nipples hard as you moan his name loudly.

he likes how you’re falling apart for him — and only him; you tug on his hair roughly, nails raking against his scalp when he flicks his tongue against your throbbing clit. you forgot that when geto puts his mind to something, he really puts in work; his cock is stiff, but he chooses to ignore it for the sake of watching you writhe on his bed, hand pulling on his bed sheet as soon as he slips his lithe fingers inside of you. he pumps them in and out, fast and hard; you bite down on your bottom lip to keep from screaming, but you lose your composure quickly.

the orgasm leaves you panting and whimpering, softly moaning when geto continues to lap at your pussy, despite how sensitive you feel. you get on all fours without prompting and rub your ass against his cock. the sight is erotic and has him gliding the tip of his cock along your wet pussy, an act that wholly surprises him, even more so when he barely gives you warning before driving his cock inside of your tight hole.

again, he wonders what is different; he’s fucked you more times than he can count, and yet this feels completely new — as if you’re not you, but someone else. and he’s so close to the truth, yet so far away that you try your best not to laugh, even as he powers into you over and over, his cock thick and imposing as his pace picks up.

he knocks his hips against you, strokes lethal but pleasurable. you hiss when he grabs a fistful of your hair, but you let him do it anyway — you want to bide your time before the big finale, of course. geto’s mind melts the longer his cock is inside of you, your plush, warm walls tight around him, squeezing in a way that has him moaning your name out loud.

it surprises him, actually, but he doesn’t stop himself; if anything, he’s more invigorated as he continues to fuck you like you’re the only one he ever thinks about. and, while it probably is true, you also know geto more than he knows you. he pulls out of you suddenly, half in a daze and entirely hooked on your body, and slaps your ass before telling you to ride him instead.

it's almost too easy at this point because this is exactly what you want.

you take your time climbing on top and rub your pussy along his length, grinding and rolling your hips teasingly. his frustration gets the best of him when he grabs your hips to hold you steady.

“y/n,” he warns, voice low and husky. you like him like this — too consumed with lust to realize just how much danger he’s in.

“i’m sorry, baby,” you say almost a little too convincingly, lifting up before sinking down slowly, his cock filling you up in the best sort of way. he’s in heaven, clearly; the way your cunt keeps sucking him back in, your arousal dripping onto his skin — your pussy is the gift that keeps on giving, he tells you offhandedly. you laugh and laugh and laugh, determined to snatch his soul out of his body every time you impale yourself on his cock.

his nails sink into your skin when he holds onto your hips, lifting his upwards to thrust inside of you deeply.

“you know, suguru,” your voice is breathy and hypnotizing, his eyes are glazed over and unfocused; you place your hands on his headboard, under the guise of holding on so he can fuck you properly, but really you’re reaching behind to grab the knife you’ve taped to the back of it. “you’re a shitty person.” there’s confusion etched onto his pretty face, and you chuckle darkly as you buck your hips against his and brandish the knife in front of him.

he'd noticed that it went missing from his set days ago, but figured he’d misplaced it.

“where did you get that?” he grunts when you clench your pussy around him, still riding him as if this is a common occurrence for both of you.

you continue talking as if he didn’t ask a valid question and gently tap his cheek with the flat part of the blade. “you broke my heart, turned my love into ash,” you ride him harder, your ass bouncing on his hips, and he’s much more aroused than he should be. which is alarming because he isn’t stopping you at all. “and you went about your life like i never mattered.” that part still hurt, and you don’t think as you hold the knife to his throat, the blade sharp enough that it knicks his skin when you lean forward.

he knows he should tell you to stop, but for some reason, it’s as if he’s paralyzed by your confession. he deserves it, he knows that, but you refuse to have any sort of sympathy for him. a bit of blood drips down his neck and you stab the blade onto his pillow, nearly missing his face. he actually fucking flinches and it makes you laugh again.

“you’re so fucking stupid,” you almost pity him. almost.

geto’s life literally flashes before his eyes. he’s never seen you this ruthless; the soft, demure woman he knew before is gone — in her place, is someone cold and demanding, someone who won’t hesitate to maim him if he toes the line.

his skin blanches and he swallows hard, words lodged deep in his throat. he doesn’t know what to say to you. “i—”

you run your tongue along his jaw, and grin triumphantly when he shivers uneasily. “you don’t get it, do you? you’re mine forever.” he wants to ask what you mean by that, but you don’t give him the chance. “i hate you so much, that i want to watch the life drain from your eyes.”

it’s morbid and unreal, but it feels right. “that’s also a form of love, right?” you’re not making any sense, and you don’t care; you’ve deviated from your plan — you intended to drag things out, but once he started fucking you and acting like he was running the show all over again, you snapped. “you’re mine forever, understand?”

he had every opportunity to grab the knife, to shake you off of him, but you keep moving your hips, keep moaning for him, and keep kissing him like you want to breathe in his essence. he’s trapped and probably will never find his way out; he realizes now, that your return wasn’t a coincidence. it was planned. it’s fear that keeps him on that bad, that lets you keep fucking him until you’re satisfied, and when he finally cums, you smile wickedly and pick the knife up again.

“there’s no one who will love you the way i do, baby.”

#⋆˙⟡♡ htbahb collab #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk smut #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x y/n #geto suguru smut #geto x reader #geto x y/n #geto smut #‘i can change him’ 🥴#no tf i can't he ain't shit!!!#i love him anyway it's complicated #yandere reader #fic request #geto x black reader #jjk x black reader

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aamalaaa · 2 years

Text

Lifeline | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: bestfriends to lovers au, hurt/comfort, jk is so understanding, fluff, romance, reader is sad but it'll be ok

warnings: reader suffers from depression but doesn't know it, it gets a little heated but there's no smut

word count: 3.6k

a/n: sooo, this was supposed to be a drabble and yet.. I got a lil carried away. I hope you like this, I've wrote this from my own experience with depression, I hope you can find comfort in it, you're never alone and I love you<3

It’s been days, weeks now that you’ve been feeling like this. Nothing happened, nothing dramatic. You still go to work, still talk to your friends. On the outside, things seem as normal as they usually are. You seem okay, maybe a bit indifferent.

You’re not.

You’re not okay, you feel like not enough air gets into your lungs, you feel heavy, tired, like the weight of the world is too much to endure. You still manage to look relatively okay, you shower, put on makeup, make sure your clothes are clean and fit well together when you put an outfit together.

You haven’t washed your clothes for weeks though. You only have a few things left in your wardrobe, the rest of your clothes lay on a chair, on the floor of your bedroom, your couch and next to the shower.

You didn’t clean up your room, kitchen, bathroom or anything in your apartment really. It doesn’t look good, you can’t stand to leave the lights on because you’d have to face the mess and feel bad about it. You don’t feel like you’re doing enough, you feel incompetent and lazy.

You don’t cry though, can’t bring yourself to. Staying awake and going to work is tiring enough, you can’t muster enough energy to cry on top of that. You wish you could, maybe it would help. Fill the empty hole in your chest, make you feel something again, replace the shame and tiredness with something else. Anything not to feel like this, empty, unmoored.

You’re laying in bed when you hear it first, a soft knock. Your ears perk up at the sound but you still stay wrapped up in your duvet, even bringing it up a little above your head, trying to drown out the noise.

But the noise doesn’t stop, it’s at your front door and it gets louder and louder. Though it stays gentle, like the instigator knows you can’t handle more, loud and constant noises make you feel overwhelmed these days.

You groan loudly before throwing the duvet off your body in one swift motion, making you shiver instantly at the contact of cool air against warm skin. You need to up the heat here, or maybe put on something that isn’t tiny shorts and a tank top.

You barely have anything else in your wardrobe though, goddamn you need to wash your clothes.

You slowly trudge to the front door, hoping the visitor will get tired and go away before you get there. But he doesn’t and you have no choice, someone came up here to see you and you can’t be this ungrateful. Won’t let yourself be.

So you card your hand through your hair to try and tame it before quickly opening the door to its full extent.

The black haired man stares at you with his wide doe eyes, hand stopping mid motion in the air where the door was, a black tote bag in his other hand.

You stare back, shock clearly visible all over your face. If you didn’t expect one thing, it’s to see Jungkook at your doorstep, looking this fucking hot in black sweatspants, a black longsleeved shirt and an equally black baseball cap to match.

“Kook, what are you doing here? Did we have something planned? I forgot didn’t I- Ah shit! I’m so sorry, my mind’s a bit of a mess today..” You anxiously blurt out.

Jungkook awkwardly brushes a strand of hair beneath his ear. “No, no we didn’t have anything planned, don't worry,” He hurriedly says, noticing your nervousness. “I just-“ He pauses. “I hadn't heard from you in a few days and you didn’t respond to my texts so I decided to pay a visit..”

And if his appearance wasn’t enough to make you melt into a puddle of goo, his explanation sure is. Because how could he be this attentionate and caring?

You’ve known Jungkook for a few months, meeting him through your group of friends and you quickly grew closer, became good friends even. And you may or may not have a huge crush on him but that’s another story and you’re not about to admit it out loud, not now, not ever. If he liked you that way he would’ve told you already, you’re not about to burden him with your feelings.

But you’re fine being just friends, he’s an amazing person and you couldn’t imagine your life without him now, he’s the funniest and kindest person you’ve ever known. You can keep your emotions under check, maybe they’ll even settle down after a while.

Though you doubt it considering the way your heart beats loudly against your rib cage only from standing a few feet away from the man. Oh well.

“Oh.. that’s very kind of you,” You breathe out.

Jungkook shoots you a dazzling wide smile and you almost faint at the sight.

“Sooo, can I come in? I got a few things for you,” He lifts up the tote bag he’s been holding.

Your heart skips a beat, god he’s making it very hard for you not to completely fall in love with him.

“Umm..” You start, unsure what to say.

He can’t see your place like this, he’d probably run for the hills. “My place’s a bit of a mess and I was planning on cleaning up today-“

“I can help!” He enthusiastically cuts you off.

You stare at your feet, wiggling your toes around. “I mean you don’t have to, it’s fine really and you must have better things to do..” He can’t see your place like this.

He snorts. “I have the day off, let me help, I want to! Plus, I brought food!” He says, a hopeful smile etched upon his mesmerizing face.

Goddamn fucking Jeon Jungkook, you can’t say no to him, not when he’s looking at you like that.

“I- Ok but please don’t judge, I’m just very busy,” You step out of his way, motioning for him to come in. His only reply is a nod before he slides in through the door.

He spends a moment, and only a moment to observe your apartment before heading towards the kitchen counter and dropping the bag he’s been holding.

You’re so fucking embarrassed, he’s probably gonna judge you or worse, pity you. Though he would never say it out loud, that’s not Jungkook.

“I’ve seen worse,” He gets out a few supplies from the bag and puts them on the counter.

“Please don’t lie, it’s disgusting,” You sigh, picking up a few stray clothes on the floor to throw them on the couch.

He lifts up his eyes to you, gaze locked into yours. You hold it for a few seconds before dropping your eyes to the ground, a rosy tint adorning your cheeks.

“What’s going on?” He gently asks, dropping the broccoli he was holding on the counter and stepping closer to you.

You shrug and nervously fiddle with your fingers, refusing to meet his gaze. You can’t do this, you’ve been really good at keeping your emotions at bay.

You can’t give up now.

But he doesn’t relent. “What’s wrong?” He’s very close to you now and you shyly peek at him before dropping your eyes to your hands again.

He softly takes both of your hands in his, stopping you from fiddling with them. And you can barely hold it in now, you have no distraction to focus on instead of the gaping hole in your heart, threatening to split your whole being in two any moment now.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” You croak.

He drops your left hand to bring his right one up to your chin, tilting your face upward slowly, forcing you to look at him.

You feel them, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, ready to spill out.

He stares at you, an incredibly concerned look in his eyes and caresses your chin softly with his thumb. “Talk to me, please.”

And that’s all it takes for you to lose it, tears flowing freely on your cheeks like cold rain on a fogged up window. You bring your hands up to your face, hiding to the best of your abilities behind them.

“I- I d-don’t know Kookie, what’s wrong with me?” You hiccup, the sound muffled by your palms.

Your heart almost splits in half when your friend takes you in his strong arms, your head laying in the crook of his neck, and strokes your hair in soothing motions. Which only makes you sob harder.

He doesn’t say a word for a long time, settles on stroking your hair and leaving a few kisses on top of your head.

You manage to calm down after a few minutes, but not before you leave a big wet spot on his shirt.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, your shirt is ruined.”

He chuckles warmly and leaves another kiss on your head before replying. “It’s just a shirt.”

You nuzzle a bit closer in his neck, taking in the calming jasmine scent. It’s grounding, like a deep rooted tree in the middle of a storm.

“Do you want to sit down and eat?” He asks, voice just shy of a whisper.

You shake your head no, pressing even closer in his embrace, not willing to let go. Which prompts a loud chuckle out of Jungkook.

“You need to eat, we can lay around and do nothing after.”

You groan, but ultimately step away. Jungkook lets out a small laugh, strokes your hair once more and sweeps his thumbs under your eyes to try and dry your wet cheeks.

You can’t help the furious blush that creeps up your neck and all the way to your cheeks, though you can hide your face behind your hair. So you do.

Jungkook coos before heading towards the kitchen counter, getting to work immediately.

You’re mostly silent, though Jungkook manages to make you laugh a few times with his antics. You eat the meal he prepared for you, not missing the way he constantly peers at you to make sure you’re eating.

You almost eat all of your plate, you’d feel entitled and ungrateful not to. But there’s so much your stomach can take, and the portion he gave you was twice what you’d usually eat.

“This was amazing, thank you,” You smile.

He smiles back, that bunny grin of his you love so much. “My pleasure.” He replies, a slight blush making its way onto his cheeks. “Got anything you want to do this evening?” He tilts his head to the side before getting up and dropping his plate next to the sink.

“I was thinking of just like, watching a movie or something. You don’t have to stay, really,” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t hope he would stay.

Which is why your heart swells ten times its original size at his response.

“I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to leave,”

You shake your head. “No.. stay.”

He smiles bashfully before taking your plate and cleaning the dishes he had used for the meal. You get up and join him, picking a rag up and drying the clean dishes before you put them in the cupboards.

It takes a few minutes, silence reigning peacefully over the both of you, the only sounds breaking it being Jungkook whistling quietly and water splashing in the sink.

When you’re both done, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom and you take that moment to change into a large black t-shirt and slide under the covers of your bed, using the remote controller to turn on the television.

When Jungkook comes back into the lounge, he chuckles at the sight of you snuggled deep under the covers, a plushie between your arms, scrolling through netflix for a movie to watch.

You quirk your brow at him questioningly when you see him awkwardly standing next to the bed.

“What are you standing there for?” You playfully question.

He cards a hand through his hair, seemingly nervous. “Well.. where do you want me?”

You stare in shock, mouth agape before you break out into a loud cackle while Jungkook frowns in confusion. “What? What did I say?”

“Oh Kook,” Your laughter dies down progressively. “It’s nothing.” You pat the empty side of your bed, smiling amusedly at the black haired man.

He shrugs, confused but still hops on the bed, keeping a safe distance from you, much to your dismay.

“Get under the covers Kookie,” You stare him down.

“O-ok,” He tentatively slides under the covers, fully clothed.

You press play on the title you chose and scoot closer to Jungkook, feeling him stiffen at the proximity. “What’s wrong?” You question, feeling shy all of a sudden. It’s not your first time cuddling with him, so why is he being weird about it?

He exhales slowly before responding. “I just-“ He stops himself, rubbing at his eyes anxiously. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this.. I know you’re feeling vulnerable and sad right now, I don’t want to take advantage of that.” He almost whispers the last part, while you can only look at him curiously, not quite understanding what he means.

“We cuddled before, what’s different?” You question, straightening up.

He shoots you an indecipherable look before scooting closer to you. “Nothing, come on over.”

You giggle and drape your arm around his stomach, your head resting on his chest. The soft rhythm of his heart puts you at ease almost instantly.

You both watch the movie in silence, Jungkook occasionally stroking your hair, making you shiver each and every time.

After a while he breaks the comfortable silence. “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?” He breathes out against your hair.

You sigh in resignation. Of course he’d want to know, and it’s understandable. You did have a full on breakdown in his arms, after all. You just don’t know what to say, don’t know what’s wrong. You just know something is.

“I’ve been feeling kinda.. off, I guess?” You start, voice uneven. Another gentle stroke of your hair. “Like I have no energy, I don’t want to go out or do anything, I can’t clean up or do anything except go to work..” You feel him shifting his head a bit, probably looking at you.

You don’t meet his gaze and continue. “It’s silly really, don’t worry too much.”

He sighs and tilts your chin up with his free hand. You slowly lift your eyes, meeting his own. He seems conflicted and hurt. You don’t understand.

“How could you say that?” He observes you carefully. “I care about you, of course I’m gonna be worried. And it’s not silly, it’s important. I want you to be happy, so happy. You deserve it, you deserve everything good. How can you not see that?” He cradles the side of your face with his hand, you blush profusely, your heart beat going absolutely frantic. What the hell is going on?

“I- I’m sorry..” You don’t know what to say, apologizing seems like the right thing to do, seeing the pained look on his face.

His hold on your face gets stronger as his eyes widen. “Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong, except thinking so poorly of yourself.” He exhales. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad about it, I’m sorry.” He strokes your cheek tenderly.

You can’t stop staring in his big eyes, like under a spell of some sort. It’s just hard not looking into them when they seem to hold the whole galaxy.

You open your mouth to speak, but close it soon after. He sends you a questioning look.

It takes you a few seconds to reply. “I don’t know what to say..” You murmur.

“You don't have to know what to say, we’ll figure it out together,” He gently replies, shooting you a soft smile in the process.

You almost cry again as his words register in your head. You inhale shakily. “Why-“ You gulp. “Why would you do that for me?”

He brings his head down, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. “Why do you think?” He whispers, a peachy tint appearing on his cheeks.

You frown in confusion, using your hand to stop his movements. “Because you’re a good friend? Why are you being so cryptic?” You ask, completely lost

Jungkook chuckles fondly before looking back into your eyes. “I’m really gonna have to spell it out uh,” He cradles the side of your face once more before timidly smiling at you.

“I guess so?” You unknowingly snuggle closer into his hand.

“Will you let me show you?” He strokes your hair with his long fingers, spurring on a shiver out of you.

You send him a puzzled look. You’re so fucking lost. “Um, I guess yeah?”

He looks at your lips before gazing into your eyes again, then stares at your lips once more.

And your heart might leap out of your chest because then, he gets a little closer, his face a few inches away from yours. His breath fanning over your cheeks makes you shiver.

“Can I kiss you?” He murmurs, so close you can almost feel the vibration of his voice onto your skin.

“Can you what-“ You squeeze his hand on instinct, the one you were still holding.

“Kiss you,” He replies cockily, raising a brow.

“Uh, what-“ What’s going on, and why are you so socially inept. “Why would you-“ You loudly gulp, not finishing your sentence.

He nervously chuckles. “Because I-“ His voice cracks, and he tries to move further away from you. You scream internally. “It’s ok if you don’t want to. God I’m sorry I didn’t-“

You cut him off by tugging on his arm and crashing your lips onto his before even realizing what you’re doing. The angle is awkward and your lips collide almost painfully. You don’t care though, can’t bring yourself to.

At first, you both stay there, lips pressed against the other’s, unmoving, surprised by the sudden closeness. But soon enough, Jungkook kisses you back, sighing happily while his soft lips caress yours. You start moving along with him almost immediately, it’s almost like a dance, really.

You feel him shift as he adjusts your position, laying you down backwards and hovering over you, tilting your head back a few inches to deepen the kiss.

Your brain is foggy, you can’t even think or do anything but kiss back hungrily. Like his lips are a lifeline and you’re lost at sea. Latching onto him with unrivaled passion, your hand gripping the hair at the back of his neck pleadingly, soft whimpers escaping your throat only to be swallowed by the man holding you together like glue.

You fist the front of his shirt so forcefully your knuckles turn white while Jungkook nibbles at your bottom lip. You can feel him smirking against your mouth when you let out a loud whimper. He uses that moment to slide his tongue against yours, groaning in the process, lapping at your mouth like a dehydrated man.

And if this is a dance, then Jungkook is a master dancer. And the avid apprentice you are, you’re willing to learn every step, over and over again until you know them by heart.

You slide your hand under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his bare skin and defined abs you thought about more often than you’d be willing to admit. You notice him shivering at the contact of your hand on his stomach and that only serves to spur you on even further, up his ribs and chest.

It goes on like this for a long time, parting for oxygen from time to time, only to come together again. Jungkook and you battling for the lead, though you always end up happily losing the battle. And after a while it gets softer, gentle caresses and long, languid strokes of tongues intertwining together in complete harmony.

Jungkook slides his thumb above your eyebrow, leaning away for just a moment before leaving a quick peck on your lips. When he lets go of your lips, you try to chase his own needily, only to hear a gruff, quiet laugh from the man you just spent the better half of an hour kissing.

You open your eyes and pout at him, which is apparently really funny because he laughs even harder.

Your pout deepens and you try to push him off with all the strength you can muster, which is admittedly not a lot.

He coos at you before leaving yet another soft kiss on your lips, making you sigh happily.

“I guess you wanted to,” He confidently comments, a small smirk lifting the side of his red swollen lips.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Great guess, Sherlock.”

Jungkook settles down next to you, tugging you closer to him as he does. You wrap your arm around him and lay on his chest, just like you did earlier. Except now it feels more intimate and the butterflies in your stomach roam freely around your body.

You don’t even notice you’re dozing off until a strong hand gently shakes your shoulder, you hum in response.

“Do you want me to go?” You hear a scratchy voice murmur in your ear.

You frown and shake your head. “Nuh-uh, stay, please..” You’re barely able to get the words out in your sleepy state.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” He responds, snuggling even closer to you. You suspire contentedly.

As you slowly slip into unconsciousness you ask one last question.

“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?” You slur.

You barely register a soft peck being laid upon your forehead.

“Wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”

a/n: this is the link for the general taglist for my writings<3 click here!

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crystlizabeth · 1 year

Text

At Last..

Paring: Joel Miller x Blackfem!reader

Summary: Joel has a crush on Jackson’s witch doctor a woman whose gift is making medicine. During a clean-up of Joel’s wounds, he gets the courage to ask her on a date.

Fluff, use of pet names, and curssing.

The earthy aroma hit Joel as he walked in the small medical shop, the fresh smell of herbs was welcoming. Joel often found himself here almost every day but not for medicine or a doctor. But for her, Jackson’s God give gift a medicine specialist, she was a welcoming woman who was very loved. Joel found himself feeling young again when he met her, he swooned over her. Her smile made his heart skip a beat, the way she looked up at him through her lashes could kill him truly. Even with her friendly aura, she was a strong managed woman, Joel had been on plenty of runs with her for certain herbs and supplies for her work.

As he stood in the doorway he could see over the counter, her with a baby and his mother. His mother held the little boy close he seemed to have an allergic reaction to something and he was in discomfort. She had a needle in her hand that held a clear liquid.

“I know baby you're in pain its gonna be okay..” her voice was gentle and soothing. The baby let out a cry as she stuck the needleI his thigh feeding his body an antidote. She threw the needle away quickly putting a bandaid on the infants thigh.

“See all better, look honey I'm all done.” her voice brightened in a way to make him feel better her hand softly creased the little boy's face. She looks up at his mom letting her know he's got to go, the other woman thanked her again taking her child and walking past Joel.

The doctor's eyes meet Joels, her face displaying a smile her eyes leaving his seeing the bloody spot on his shirt “Christ what did you do this time Miller...” she spoke her voice teasing but all out worried.

“Ran into a sharp piece of wood,” he stated simply he couldn't help but feel a little stupid because it was a branch that got him. She let out a laugh watching the man shake his head at his own thought.

“Alright then common over cowboy.” she said inviting him behind the counter to sit on a stool while she grabbed stuff to patch him up.

She stopped in front of him her eyes met his she looked at his shirt then back at him. He raised a brow not knowing what she was doing, was she checking him out?

She sighed “Oh my God,I need you to take your shirt off so I can get to your wound.”

“Oh!” he realized, she laughed at the man. As he quickly pulled it over his head.

Joel's muscles flex as the shirt came other his head the leg the shirt stay on his arms but it was off his body. And damn did he look good for a man his age her eyes wonders for too long but not long enough for him to notice she thinks. Snapping out of her thought she began to clean the wound. Dried blood covered the towel she was using; it was a deep cut but it didn't need stitches.

“How has your day been?” he asked his southern accent picking at the word ‘your’.

“It's been good, that lil’ baby that came in had a really bad reaction to avocado, luckily it's not a common thing so it will be easy to stay away from. But other than having to stab an infant with a needle it's been a good, all-out steady day.” she explained to him her eyes focused on his cut. She was gentle with her movements careful not to hurt him.

A small smile pulled at Joel's lips watching her concentrate she was so gentle with him. She finished cleaning properly she grabbed a jar a spread medicine to help the scar tissue build back quickly, she took some on her fingers putting it over the wound.

Joel winced at the sensation “Yeah it's gonna burn for a second but it's gonna do its job.” she spoke suddenly noticing him slightly move.

His eyes focused on her as she laid the bandage on his chest. Her hands so gentle gratefully moving along in chest. She was undeniably Gorgeous, her melanin skin that shined from the sunlight from the open windows, her fluffed curls that laid around her face even though her hair was tied back a bandana on the top of her head like a headband, her beautiful smile that could make anyones day better.

God did he want her. He was so in love but wasn’t sure for what she felt, yes she played along with his flirting but he never could tell if there was something there. Maybe he was just clueless, because how could she look at him like that he never knew how to describe it but it made his heart melt.

“Joel..?” She asked, the older man snapeed out of his hazed thought looking at her.

“Yes? Sorry i just zoned out apologies sweetheart…” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

She smiled lightly tilting her head “well you’re all done now hun you can put your shirt on now.” She told him.

“Well if you insist..” he said, a small laugh came from the woman in front of him. Wow was all he could think there she went again making his stomach flutter nervously.

Joel took a deep breath while blowing out you could hear a small chuckle. He looked up at her watched as she began you cleaned up.

“What are you doing tonight..?” He asked his voice hesitant.

She turned around looking at the man “Nothing really going home to my cat thats about it really..” she spoke hugging the tray close to her body as she leaned on the counter.

“Oh, well.. would you happen to be interested in dinner? The bar is having a little party dinner dance you know.” He said his fingers playing with one another slightly being picked at a nervous habit you could say yet his eyes looked at her awaiting for her answer.

She smiled her head tilted slightly scanning the nervous gent in front of her “Are you asking me on a date Mr. Miller..?” She questioned her tone teasing.

He sat up straighter nodding “Yes Ma’am, I am.”

“Well i would Love too.”

“Really? Amazing, would 5:30 work i mean it 4 now so it just really depends when you off you could say.” Joel rambled and she shot up from the stool.

“Joel sweetie 5:30 sounds great ill have Maki come and finish up for the night.” She said reassuring the man. He nodded saying his goodbye for now and thanks.

As she got home she began to get ready, a date right? What would it hurt wearing that dress her neighbor made a while back for her for fun. It was a short summer dress it was loose and flowy, the sage color dress hugged under here breast the neckline in a u shape that landed on the out side of her collar bone it was slightly ruffled the sleeves where long and flow like a 70’s design, her cleavage could be seen due to the shape of the neckline but she didn’t mind it was flattering the dress looked damn good as-well.

“I’ll have to thank Kendra for this..” she mumbled to herself checking out the dress doing a spin in front of the mirror.

She stepped back grabbing her beat down cowboy boots finishing off the look just in time to hearing a knock on her apartment door. She walked over opening it to see joel and some flowers. He greeted her with a smile handing the flowers out to her a mixture of wild flowers like Wax Flower, chamomile, and forget-me-not from what you could make out at the moment. Joel was cleaned up a nice pair of wranglers that where held up by a buckled belt, a plain dark green button up and some squared shape cowboy boots toped off with a cowboy hat. Well hello Texas, its not like it wasn’t often to see gents in Jackson wear one but damn did it look good on him.

“Here come in, I wanna put these in a vase.” She spoke letting him in.

Joels eyes wandered around the apartment looking at all the plants some big some small. He loved it it was all her so nature like and truly welcoming. He looked back at her noticing how her hair was no longer pulled back like earlier but in it’s natural state with all the volume curls and frizz.

She finished up putting the flowers in a vase walking up to him “Im ready when you are cowboy.” She spoke flicking the hat he wore. He chuckled adjusting the hat following her out the door.

The two walked down the stress of Jackson the warm summer breeze hitting their faces as they followed the street’s lights to the bar. They both talked about how their life was before the out break, She explained she was an early graduate from high school and when to school for medicine. She also hinted she had a child of her own as well but Joel never pushed any further for he knew what it was like, to lose a child.

“I had a daughter..” Joel said his voice quiet. The woman looked over at him, she was interested but didn’t press for any more information, but Joel wanted her to feel comfortable speaking with him do he opened up it wasn’t easy for the man to tell her about his lost daughter. He just never explained how she died.

“She sounds lovely, It.. its hard to lose a child…” her voice spoke.

“My Son Elijah, he was 4 when the out break happened.. and he was one of the unfortunate ones.. He got infected.” She spoke her voice tender.

He reached out pulling her in a side hug as they walked her head rested against him ash he hugged him back taking in the warmth and comfort he offered to her. Pulling away linked her arm with his as they walked in the bar.

Walking in the bar it was lit up by old white Christmas lights, it was lively the sound of familiar music the stomping of shoes on the wooden floor as people dance.

Her and Joel walked up to Tommy and Maria greeting them at the bar.

“Y/n! Im glad you could make it!” Maria smiled at her opening her arms for a friendly hug.

The four of them continued to talk the night away Maria pulling Her away to join in the line dance of ‘Fake ID’ by Big & Rich from the 2011 footloose brought many people to the dance floor. The beating of the wood was heard as everyone danced in sync, even with all of the movement Joel never took his eyes of off her.

He watched as she danced next to Maria the two women laughing together as they got in the grove of the music, her movements where smooth never off beat or choppy. Joels head tilted to the side taking in her movement watching as she looked back giving him that smile that could kill a man. He smiles back softly not taking his eyes off her as she turned back around.

“Finally got the balls to ask her out huh?” Tommy said snapping his older brother back to reality.

He looked at his younger brother glaring at him softly causing Tommy to laugh. “Common bother you’ve been talking about and to her for months.. Im just happy seeing you with someone that can make you smile like that again, besides that kid Ellie.”

Joel nodded slightly understanding what his brother meant Joel was at his normal now he felt comfortable enough to finally let go of the past and let new people into his life.

“It is nice and im glad I did ask her out tonight, shes just wow Tommy..” Joel started his eyes looking back at her.

“Go on..” His little brother pushed, Tommy hasn’t seen him like this before so vulnerable, soft, so Lovestruck.

“Y/n shes, for starters she so Gentle and caring. Even in this day in time she’s caring to strangers, well as long as you dont try to kill her shes not frail she may appear that way but shes so strong ive seen her take town grown guys like us, younger even but; That woman is a god given gift a healer in a broken world, a world that needs repairing and shes doing just that..” Joel spoke, he watched Y/n as she messed around on the dance floor with some friends, her eye’s wandered over to him once in a while to see what he was doing.

“The only bad thing about this its what if, what if I lose her… I tried for months to push back the feeling i had for her the Love I have for her. I want to spend my last days with her now that i know i can have that with out have to worry to much, it will still linger luck runs out eventually. I want to be able to watch the sunsets from the porch with her next to me take her on adventures out side of the walls knowing i can bring her back safe and, damn it i will. Even in total darkness i would recognize her, her eyes , how here hair lays, the shape of her eyebrows, how her lips curve even if she was mute and i were deaf i would recognize her. Shes all i want, and even if she doesn’t feel the same love to me i will continue to stick by her side for whatever time to got left even as a friend it may kill me a little bit of the way but god knows i will never love like this again.”

Tommy just stared at his brother a small smile was on his face turning away from his brother he took the last drink of his drink putting the glass in the counter.

“Well Brother you better go get her before my wife takes her from ya’.” Tommy said pointing at the two women walking back to them.

The four finished off the night finally departing. Just him and her the summer night was calm the chilled summer air falling on her skin. A shiver going through her, Y/n wrapped her arm around Joels taking in his warmth. The walk was quite small conversation exchange here and there but they took their time. Sound to crickets and the running river filled their ears in the sleeping town.

“Thank you for tonight Joel, really i had fun it was nice to get out if my apartment.” She spoke softly, her face leaning on his arm.

“Of course, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” He responded.

The pair finally made it to her apartment complex the only light came from the moon and a few windows from the complex.

“I could always walk you up..” Joel said watching as she pulled away from him stepping on the steps up to the main door.

“Its fine really..” she said, she didn’t want to say goodnight yet, but what else was there to do.

Just a kiss, a kiss standing in the moonlight. God. No she didn’t want to mess anything up she wanted to continue to see him every day. To come home to Joel, their shared home. It was only one date, know that if they gave this. Them, a little more time it would bring them closer.

She stepped down pulling him in closer, Just a kiss good night.

“Goodnight Cowboy..” she whispered pulling away her lips brushing against his.

“Goodnight Darlin’…” he said softly.

Letting her pull away watching her walking in to her complex giving him one last smile before closing the door behind her.

#joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x poc!reader #joel miller x black!reader #joel miller #x black reader #black reader #black fem reader #fem reader #x reader

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pouringmyheartoutforpaper · 2 years

Note

hi hi!! i adore your writing and your acc in general. it's completely okay if you don't end up getting to this request, but i was wondering if you could write a cute lil steve cheering you on with affirmations and kisses "treating" you sort of after you get a good grade on an exam you studied hard for? maybe add a lil "that's my girl" comment in there :)

hi babylove! it took me so long to get to this cause i was studying for exams. im taking mine today so i thought this would be cute to write throughout my day. 🤍 thank you so so so much for requesting.

steve would never say it but he loves your exam week. why? because he gets to take care of you while you study. youre always so sleepy and he gets to have you in his arms while you study on the bed. pouting whenever you get something wrong and burying your face in his chest while he praises you. however, he does know that it stresses you out, a lot. it breaks his heart whenever you get so stressed youre in pain or crying. so he makes sure you only spend a few hours studying a night. he makes you food and lays you down for naps, knowing you sleep better when youre latched onto him like a koala.

the day of the exam hes up at five am to make sure you eat before you leave. getting you out the door and sending you into the exam building with a sweet kiss and an iced coffee. “you’re gonna do great baby.” saying a little prayer that it goes well for you.

and then when he comes to pick you up, he’s smiling brightly at you. ready to praise you and spoil you regardless of your grade. when you get out the door, your face lights up. you look exhausted, ready to fall asleep as soon as you get home. he gives you a big hug and opens the passengers seat door, helping you in the car before strapping you in. a floral scent engulfing your senses.

“i got you some flowers baby, did you have a good day?”

the pink and red roses in the backseat had your name on them with a hand drawn heart from steve. you light up and gasp before looking at him, his favorite thing in the world. he loves giving you presents for this very reason. from little post it notes to diamond jewelry.

“thank you steve!! i love them so much, theyre so pretty.” leaning over to press your lips to his, making his heart swell. smiling into the kiss and blushing because hes so lucky. this is everything hes ever wanted. and his thoughts are mirrored to your own.

“i passed it! it was easier than i thought.”

he gasps exaggeratedly, making you giggle before he takes your face in his hands and praises you.

“good job sweetheart. youre so smart.” kissing all over your face. “so so smart” until your throwing yourself over the car to give him the biggest hug you could manage.

“cmon babydoll, what d’you want to eat?”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #stranger things #steve x you #st smut #steve x reader #steve harrington fluff

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colourstreakgryffin · 10 months

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Abusive Husband! Obanai..

I loved the short lil head-cannons btws bae

But how would Abusive Husband! Obanai react to spouse becoming so stressed and self conscious that she ends up extremely mentally sick, and she cant eat/sleep/hardly communicate anymore? Would he take care of them? or would he think their being overdramatic and treat them the same?

(Pronouns can be whichever your most comfortable with!)

(💃Anonymous)

Fucccck. This would not go well! I imagine it’d go something like this;

This is seriously intense and tragic and sad, please be careful reading this!

Iguro Obanai

“Dokusha” Obanai barked angrily as you stared blankly at the wall, cuddled up in the recently dried futon with no words left. You could barely think anymore, your mind emptier than the clearest skies. All the abuse, all the hate, all of it every single day piled up. It stressed you out until your mind snapped, you fell so ill that heard Obanai’s voice echoing down the hallway. Yelling and insulting you for nothing. Your self-image dropped so low that you stared at knives in consideration of using them

You didn’t feel the need to eat or sleep anymore. As you just stared at the wall, waiting on absolutely nothing in the futon you didn’t feel the warmth of anymore. Obanai found you after a long day of Hashira duty and he was ready to give you the usual hell for your minor mistake but he is confused and weirded out by your sudden demeanour change, what’s the problem?

“Dokusha. Answer me. Iguro Dokusha” Obanai barked again, dropping down to his knees and waving his hand in front of your eyes. Those irises were so cloudy and lifeless, he was wondering if you were actually dead. His fingers quickly rested on your neck, feeling the healthy pulse so he did know that you were still alive. But you barely blinked, barely breathed

The lack of response had him eventually shaking you physically. His anger faded away into raw concern as his obsession took over. He does hurt you a lot, but the last thing he wants is for you to be dead. “Dokusha. Dokusha” Your eyes tilted up to see his, and you wanted to cry but you just couldn’t, why give your abuser that satisfaction

“Dokusha. Talk to me” Obanai grabs you and lifts you up so you’re sitting on your bottom as your head mindlessly falls forward. Obanai holds your head up with his palm under your chin so you’ll keep eyes on him at times

“Don’t ignore me. Dokusha. We need to talk” Obanai continues to repeat, usually, he’d be furious over the fact you overshined his katana but now, he was just concerned if you were mentally sound. You blinked slowly, glaring at him as you managed to get the first and final words you wanted to say forever out

“… Yo… u” Obanai flinched visibly, still confused and conflicted as you gathered every ounce of strength you had left to speak. You didn’t have anything to finally yell back at him for everything he put you through, you just spoke as if you were truly dying

“Y… our…. Fa… ult… You… d… id… th… is…” You muscled out on a soft, lifeless voice as you needed to get the one thought you had radiating in your mind out to run free, involuntarily leaning on his shoulder as Obanai’s whole world cracked and crumbled before his very eyes at just those mere five words

He did do this to you. But he didn’t mean to break you, he just wanted to help fix you. To make you better, because he truly does love you. He didn’t want you to end up emotionally scarred and torn apart like a useless tissue, he didn’t mean for this to happen. Everything he did was cruel and apathetic, he didn’t realise how horrible he was to you until now

He’s suppose to protect you, as your husband, not make your life even more dangerous. But he did the worst thing one could do to their spouse, abuse you until you lost everything you use to be. Now, you’re a walking skin suit. You didn’t have any emotions nor conscious as it was all scrubbed off for good

This was a accident. What can he do?! What can he do?! How can he fix this?! Obanai stopped his anxious mind-rants as his arms clutched onto you and brought you towards him so he can tightly hug you, slowly turning to the nearby window, his Kasugai crow sat patiently, plucking at his wing feathers to groom himself

“Dokusha…” Obanai remarks gently as you looked up at him after seconds of intense strength-gathering, you didn’t want to but you did. He knew exactly what he had to do, to save you from him. He had to expose himself to the world, the world he tried so desperately to keep you away from for his own selfish needs. He had been so selfish for so long, keeping you against your will, cutting you apart like you’re a block of cheese, forcing you to become pregnant with his child

He thought he was the victim but no, you’re the real victim. The one who needs to get away, but Obanai couldn’t live with himself if he did just let you go. He needed to pay for hurting you and hurting Kaburamaru, forcing you into a marriage you probably didn’t want in the first place, forcing you to carry his offspring for over 6 months

“I… won’t see you ever again” Obanai claims, running his hand through your hair but you didn’t feel the lovely pleasure one would feel at such a massaging sensation. You felt nothing

For some reason, you decided to hear him out with the slowest and weak nod humanely possible. All your experience with Obanai told you he was bullshitting. This time, he was speaking the whole truth and nothing more

“You deserve better than me. I’ve been the worst husband to you. I thought i was helping but I wasn’t. I ruined you, I broke you. I’m gonna tell the Master everything I’ve done to you and I, most likely, will be executed. But for you… I’m going to do it” Obanai explained himself so wholeheartedly, his emotions came back to him as he gently presses his forehead against yours and closed his eyes to bask in your presence for a few seconds

It’d be one of, if not the last time he ever have, before he leaves this earth

After that mini paragraph of a reflection. Everything past the day just went by in a huge blur and next thing you know, you’re being brought to the Hashira meeting by your parents, who helped you walk as if you had broken your ankles. You looked less like a corpse after a week or so of being with your parents when Obanai sent letters and proof to the Master about his crimes against you

Unsure why, you don’t remember the trip to the luxurious dark room but you were suddenly on your knees in the middle of your protective mother and father as the Master sat in front of Obanai himself, his head basically buried in the wooden floor, presented in a deep bow as one of the Master’s daughters read every single word of Obanai’s detailed letters

“Iguro Obanai… this is the most disturbing case of domestic abuse I’ve ever had the displeasure of learning about” Kagaya spoke with such anger and disappointment lacing his smooth elegant tone, that Obanai felt his blood being churned in pure suddenly-discovered shame. All the Hashira, behind him, was kneeled down on the grainy floor before the open building were silent, with wide eyes of disbelief at each claim presented to them. They were angry and upset to learn the truth

The other Hashira were taken back as each responded very differently. Kanroji sobbed outloud as she never suspected her beloved friend was abusive, Kocho and Tomioka stayed quiet, Tokito wasn’t paying attention so he was trialing off, Shinazugawa, Uzui and Rengoku demanded your husband get the death penalty for his treatment of you, and Himejima prayed for the death penalty to cleanse Obanai of the demons possessing him

The Master raised his hand with no verbal cues following, effectively silencing the chanting Hashira in the back, as everybody held their breath in suspense for what he’ll say; the right punishment fit for the inhumane action. “I believe I have made a decision. Based on the evidence, the fact you have pleaded guilt and described everything you’ve done in great detail, and with the condition of Iguro Dokusha herself all in consideration. I find you, Iguro Obanai, worthy of the death penalty for your crimes against another”

Kagaya remarked with a intense pain of guilt striking in his weak heart for you, the victim of one of his former children. Obanai knew that would happen, his head never leaving the floor beneath him as the Hashira in the back went wild in relief for the correct answer being called out, including your parents but you didn’t respond

Obanai had left everything he knew you’d love before you were taken by your parents in the morning, and he was taken in by his former acquaintances only a few hours later. All his money, every present he bought you and Kaburamaru whilst he burned everything else that could possibly remind you of him and his abuse, including the wedding pictures and his own ring

He would have left you his Estate so you have a home but he knew you’d have it torn down with possibly all the money he has given to you. 4 years worth of high finances from Hashira duty built up, you would be well off for a long time without him nor working to provide for yourself

Shinazugawa and Uzui hopped onto the wooden platform in a blink to pull Obanai off his knees and away from the Master as his two young daughters helped move him out of the way of the execution weapon; a old fashioned guillotine, brought in by two masked Kakushi and prepared in no time. The blade, nice and sharp and the weaved bucket read to catch a head

The two Hashira aggressively shoved Obanai into the guillotine when one of the Kakushi opened the wooden trap door and the other used the nearby rope to hoister the executional metal high enough until it bumped against it’s wooden frame peek. It was so scary to even hear the noises of the machine

Obanai’s head instinctively turned to face you, letting loose a visible smile at the sight of you healthier and more stable. Due to his bandages being removed beforehand, those thin scars highlighted his face and you could see his genuine relief as Shinazugawa and Uzui worked together to tie his hands and feet still with rope so he couldn’t move any further

Obanai is completely ready to die for you. Head locked in the guillotine hole with the wooden trapdoor shut now, and the thick sharp blade ready to drop on his bare neck. That smile was the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen from him and it broke your heart into two, more than what he did before

His beautiful heterochromatic eyes welled up with tears, his happiness was overwhelming as his death would lead to your freedom. He was happy to be the one to give you what you truly deserved as your eyes also grew glassy, locking with his and you begun protesting in the loudest voice you could manage

You didn’t want to see him die, you wanted to give him another chance as you found love in your heart for him. “Wait! Please! Don’t—“ You cried outloud with tears flowing and staining your cheeks, struggling against your mother and father but your begging went unchecked, overshadowed by the Hashira chanting for the death penalty getting louder and louder

Obanai closed his eyes with that same unchanging smile as he spoke to you, just before the blade dropped at record speed. The Master decided to let him get his final words out before making him pay for his felonies, for which, he thought he deserved to give his life for. He wanted to tell you something before he went to hell

“Dokusha… i love you and I’ll always love you…”

Splat

He’s gone... You think as you stare at his now headless corpse and the celebration roars of the Hashira are blurred out, your head fuzzing and spinning. Your hand clutched your still ringed finger and your heart cracked, his thick rosey red blood pooled in the basket and leaked through onto the wooden panes. You cried out desperately, you couldn’t believe he was gone. Your husband, Obanai is gone

Forever

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