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#ok so i had a dream last night and i have no idea why
caotictimmy · 6 months
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SO UHH HI MUNCHIES..THIS IS MY FIRST SMUT SO IM KINDA BLUE BALLING IT, but I’ve read so much smut I think I can do it. You can criticize since I always want to be better! Also this is in 2 person pov also it stirred away from the movie,(he just keeps working shifts that’s ir)
My atties @ilovetoomanymen @valez123
Some basic stuff - body worship, cunnilingus, loser mike/hj, Mike is a whimper confirmed, afab reader
“I’m sorry I don’t have the money, could I pay for it in a….different way.”
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You were a babysitter for Abby, you understood how hard it was for her brother, and you loved the little girl to bits. She was shy and such a creative girl, and she loved you to for being so patience with her and just generally caring for her. So that’s why you were ok with getting payed very little.You always asked if you could help Michael with anything else, but he would always say no. You respected his wishes mostly, leavening a 20 around the house if Abby needed or wanted something.
You had a good job so you were taken care of, you always made sure they were ok, even if Michael told you they were. You knew it was hard for him. How couldn’t it be? He was a guy just barely scraping by while taking care of his sisters, and now’s he’s having to take night shifts, being away from Abby so long and not getting good sleep, so when he asked you to watch Abby at night while he was at work, you didn’t mind when he was working so hard, and it just ment that your job was easier.
This was about the 2 week into his night shift job, you were asleep on the couch, soon you heard a jingle of keys and the door quietly opening and shutting. You groggily looked up checking the time, it was around 3:26 am.“Mike..?what are you doing here..it’s only 3”, you tiredly say wiping your eyes, slowly pushing yourself to sit up.”Oh. One of the animatronics were malfunctioning and kept messing with the power, so I decided to come home,and I was a little hungry anyways.” He says as he shuffles his vest off, putting it on the table. You slowly get up still a bit tired. Walking to get your bag that he put his vest by. Slowly packing up you heard him pipe up.
“Hey uhm, listen.. it’s been getting harder so-“ you swiftly cut him off, ”Listen I understand, you don’t have to pay me, I know you work hard to provide.“ He looked at you with wide eyes, “and mike you don’t have to do any-“, “I never said I wasn’t gonna do something.”, he said while looking at you. “W-what?” You looked back at him bewildered. What did he just say? He took a couple steps in front of you, sinking to his knees In front of you, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer, he slowly looks up at you, “I’m sorry I don’t have the money, could I pay for it in a….different way.”, he asked, he sounded desperate almost pleading with you. And how could you say no, he was on his knees begging to have you, you wanted him.
You quickly nod, brain not nearly processing what’s happening as fast as it needs to. Just as he was about to start taking off your pants, you quickly stated,”I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t be doing this in the kitchen”, “Oh- yeah, that would be a bad idea.”, he got up, grabbing your hand and walking to his bedroom quickly, the moment both of you get in his room, he slams his lips against yours, you felt like you were dreaming, and you didn’t wanna stop, every kiss he stole from you felt like you were on cloud 9.
“Mike..we have to keep it down, Abby’s in bed”, you said in between kisses.”I know, I know.” He quickly locks the door, ushering back to you, as you guys fumble on the bed, you felt hot, like fire was spread through out your body,in a blink of a eye he was already removing your shirt and bra. After he got done you whent to take his shirt off, “nuh uh. This is my payment to you.”,he says. As he gets to his knees in front of you. God the way he looks at you from between your legs, looking so focused in between while shuffling you pants down. And he was finally down to the last article of clothing, he both wanted to savor and devour you at the same time, and he decided to pick the latter.
He slowly slipped the last piece of clothing. You thought he was gonna take it slow, well. No, he roughly grabs your hips shoving his face in for his meal, he ate, he ate like a mad, taking long fast drags from his tongue against you cunt,”oh god..mike~”. Flicking your clit when the tip of his tongue gets to it, he couldn’t get enough of you,”more,please more” he whimpers out in between your legs. Your mind was fuzzy and you could barely think, all you could really think about is mike and his godly skill with his tongue.
He groans out in satisfaction. He kept licking, drenching your pussy In his saliva, god he was so messy, “g-god so good” he groaned, he was so messy, saliva and slick drenching his face, and you loved it, you had to bite down on your hand to keep quite soon though he wanted more,he needed more as he slowly got rougher, soon he was stuffing your cunty with his fingers while he suckles on your clit, he ramens two fingers into not relenting on, soon you can feel the coiling in your stomach, you grab his hair roughly, tugging to let him know your were close.
Soon the coiling in your stomach snapped, mike slowly guided you through it, you breathed out a breath you didn’t know you kept in, Mike lapped at the juices on his fingers,soon you felt overwhelmed. As mike started to kitten lick your Pussy not seeming to stop.”mike no,no more”, you breathed out, “please one more just one more right, you can do it right? please just one more, I want more no, I need it please god just one more.” He whimpered out pleading, pleading and begging, you nod. He kept licking, starting to get rougher with the licks soon it was all to much for you again. And soon you were cumming on his tongue once again.
Mike slowly got up, knees slightly wobbling from being on the ground, he slowly wiped the back of his hand against his mouth,”I uh..did you like it?”, “mike if I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, after you gave me the best head in my life.”, he chuckles embarrassingly “well let’s get you cleaned up.”
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“So are we gonna discuss what happened last night?”, “what do you mean Abby” mike stated confused, “you weren’t very slick last night so, when am I gonna be a auntie?” Mike started back at her stunned,” ABBY W-WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT” mike rushed our embarrassingly, “geez are you gonna answer the question or not?”
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THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR READING THIS, THIS TOOK LIKE HOURS CAUSE I HAD LIKE SPURTS OF MOTAVATION, SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHO WANTED THIS ONE AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY<33
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punching-pentagrams · 3 months
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Love in a Hopeless Place
Chapter 7
Chapter 1|Chapter 2|Chapter 3|Chapter 4|Chapter 5|Chapter 6|Chapter 7|Chapter 8|Chapter 9
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Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 3.9k CW: Slowburn, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, Sexual fantasizing, insecurity
Lucifer's eyes started to flutter open the next morning, a beam of light streaming in through the living room window. Wow, had he actually gotten a full uninterrupted night's rest again? What a pleasant surprise. He smiled as he looked up at the ceiling if his living room. Wait... his living room? Was he still on the couch? He was used to you bringing him back to his bed after he fell asleep, what hap-
Lucifer's thought process completing froze as he became aware of the weight holding his body down to the couch, specifically, the weight of your beautiful body, that still laid on him, sound asleep. Lucifer felt his cheeks burn a bright red. 'Oh my god, she feel asleep on me last night?! This is amazing, this is also terrible. Will she get mad? Will her boss get mad at her? Should I wake her up?' God he didn't want to have to wake you up. The sight of you curled up on him with your head on his chest was breathtaking. Shit... he really had fallen for you, hadn't he?
Lucifer had no idea what to do, he many ideas of what he wanted to do, but not what he should do. He could run his fingers through your hair, kiss your forehead, rub your back, any of those things could have encouraged you awake. But instead, he just sleepily watched you dreaming on his chest, until you eventually started to wake up.
After a little while, your eyes began to open. You too had experienced an amazing night of sleep that you were not used to. Perhaps all that crying gelling did you some good. But something felt off, where were you? You looked up to see Lucifer's smiling face, "Hehe, uhh... good morning, I guess."
Oh my god, had you cried yourself to sleep in his arms?! Lucifer cocooned you again in his wings before you could panic.
"Shit! Lucifer I'm so-"
"Shhhh shh shhh shh," Lucifer stopped you, "No apologizes, please. Yesterday was... hard, seemed like we both needed sleep, and frankly, I slept great. What about you?"
You blushed, and laid you head back on his chest while still looking up at him, mumbling, "Well, I guess that's the best I've slept... in a long time..." It was the best you had slept since you had arrived in hell.
"Excellent! So, lets just call it a happy accident, that we figured something out from. Also..." God he was trying to be a little bold and it made him nervous, "Would you be willing to try this again... but intentionally next time?"
"Like... have me stay through the night? And... sleep with you in your bed?" You asked.
"Yes..." he asked with a little more hesitance in his voice. You chuckled, look at him go, asking for what he wants, and so nicely too.
You smiled and shrugged, "Works for me, just let the boss know."
"Right..." he said, he was starting to hate the reminders that you weren't just here because you wanted to be. He wasn't upset at you, it just left him with a pang of insecurity, a curiously if you would even put up with him if it weren't for the fact that he hired you to be here.
He cleared his throat, trying to refocus. "You won't... get into any trouble for this, right?"
You waved your hand, "Naw, I'll just tell him I was out late partying. After what happened yesterday, he wouldn't bat an eye."
"Ok, how are you feeling, by the way?" he asked, looking over your face.
"Much better... Thank you... for... well everything..." you smiled nervously. You still felt guilty that Lucifer had to spend his paid time with you dealing with the aftermath of other client sessions, you were normally better than that. He seemed like he wanted to be there for you, but you had no idea why he would even want to. It felt so good, but you still could not tell how real or how deep the care actually ran. If this continued, the guilt and confusion might become overwhelming.
"It was my pleasure," he said, grabbing you hand and kissing it while staring deeply into your eyes.
Ugh, why did this have to be so hard to figure out!
After that, the two of you begrudgingly got up, and got ready for the day. Lucifer teleported you back to your room, bit you farewell, and left. Both of you back in your own spaces, alone, already missing the other.
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The next night you two had together, you and Lucifer would change the end of night routine as had been discussed, ending up with you both falling asleep in each others arms, and getting the joy of waking up to seeing each other first thing in the morning. It was beyond bliss. You didn't know it, but you two were in a secret competition to see who could wake up first, and get the privilege of watching the other as they clung onto their last few minutes of sleep before they would wake up.
The mornings that Lucifer woke up before you were both beautiful and painful for him. He loved getting to stare at your beautiful face, sure, but the urges... oh the urges to run his fingers through your hair, the urges to lace his fingers with yours, the urges to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, your neck, your... everything... the urges to let his hands explore your body, to sneak his hands under your clothing, to find the sensitive places on your skin that would make your breathe hitch, make the fire grow in your eyes, make you want to touch him the same way... the pain of all of these urges pulled at his mind, every morning, every day.
Some of them he could get away with more once you were awake, fingers through your hair, kisses on your hands, but he wanted more. Beyond that, he wanted them to mean something. He knew that he could just ask you for kisses or sex, and you would say yes, but he didn't want that, he wanted it to be real, he wanted passion, he wanted to make love to you. Every day with you made those feelings grow stronger and more unbearable.
Luckily, at least for another couple weeks, Lucifer would still be distracted by the upcoming extermination, and he figured that it was best that he focused on one life altering event at a time. You and Lucifer would spend more of your evenings hanging out with Charlie and the others at the hotel. Alastor had helped Charlie recruit many of the people of Cannibal Town to help, much to Lucifer's chagrin, and Vaggie had also gotten some intel on angels being able to be killed with angelic weapons, and was able to get resources from Carmilla Carmine, another Overlord and the only Angelic Weapon-Arms Dealer in hell.
Lucifer did not like learning that angels could be killed for a number of reasons, but he tried not to focus on that right then. Right now, he cared about being there for Charlie, and enjoying the calm before the storm.
The night before the extermination, most of the hotel crew, honestly, seemed like they were in good spirits. Alastor was even behaving and not doing everything in his power to piss of Lucifer, just some minor loitering on the edge of his conversations around the hotel. Angel and Husk were hanging out at the bar, and Angel's best friend, Cherri Bomb, had also come to hang out to join the fight. You noticed that Angel and Husk had increasingly been giving each other cute looks, and that Sir Pentious was nervous when it came to any interaction involving Cherri.
What you didn't know, was that Angel, Husk, and Cherri had also been watching the way you and Lucifer interacted over the last couple of weeks, the way you too looked at each other, the way his touch would linger, or that any hug would last a littleeee too long for a hug between just friends. Whenever you were not at the hotel, those three would come up with theories on what was going on with you two.
At some point, you ended up in a conversation with those three, chatting it up, and eventually Angel was the one that finally brought it up.
"Alright, babe. So...spill it. What exactly is goin' on between you an' da Boss Man, hmm?" Angel said, leaning his hand on one of his hands with a cocked eyebrow. You were startled by the question. Shit.
"Uhhh... w-what do you mean?" you say sheepishly, messing with your hair.
"I think you know exactly what I'm talkin' about~" Angel replied with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"I-uhhh..." you started.
"Come on, (y/n), cut the crap," Husk chimed in, cleaning a cup. "Ya!" Added Cherri, "We can all tell you two are seriously vibin' with one anotha," she said in her spunky Australian accent.
'Shit, had these three really been that curious about my relationship with Lucifer? Was it that obvious? I have been just trying to follow his lead on things when we visited.'
"I mean... we are just really close, and comfortable with each other... that's all," you say, not trying to look at them directly.
"But how close are you too exactly?" asked Husk. "Yaaaa, like bedroom close~?" Angel pushed in his flirty voice, talking a little louder.
You quickly covered Angel's mouth with your hands, looking around, no one else had seemed to hear him. Lucifer was across the room, chatting with Charlie and Vaggie, and Alastor seemed more focused on listening in on their conversation than yours. You look back to see Husk and Cherri with satisfied looks on their faces, along with a twinkling mischief in Angel's eyes.
You sigh and remove your hands, "Look, guys, I really want to talk about the details around my dynamic with Lucifer, but... I really can't... I'm not allowed. Even saying that might be too much..."
The trios' faces became more concerned. "Wait... he doesn't... own your soul, does he?" Husk asked.
"Oh! No, no, nothing like that. And he has been nothing but kind to me. It's just... not something I can talk about... no matter how much I may want to..." you say, holding yourself and looking down sadly. The other two looked to Husk, Husk looked sadly back at them, he could tell this was not a bluff, you were telling the truth.
Lucifer glanced across the room at you, and was surprised to see your body language had suddenly changed from how it had been during the rest of your conversation with the others at the bar. Your body language looked more sad to him. Lucifer briefly excused himself from his conversation with Charlie and Vaggie, saying he would be right back, and made his way over to you.
Cherri, Lucifer, and Husk saw Lucifer approaching, and he giving off a protective look of 'what did you do?' before putting a hand on your back.
"Darling? Is everything ok?" Lucifer said, his face softening as he looked down at you.
Your head spang up at his sudden contact and sound of his voice, 'Crap, did he hear any of that?'
You looked up at him in surprise. "Oh! Ya... sorry, we were talking about Adam and the battle tomorrow... just made me think about how worried I have been for you all..." you say sadly. The other three relax once they realized you were covering for them, Husk almost didn't like how good you were at pulling out a story like that, but right now he cared more about not pissing off the King.
Lucifer sighed and ran his finger through your hair, before pulling you in for a comforting hug, "I know... we are gonna get through this." He looked over at the other three over your shoulder, smiling, "Together."
The others smiled back at Lucifer and he released you from the hug before asking if you felt like we needed to leave for the evening. You shook your head, telling him you wanted to stay longer. He nodded, and then walked back to his conversation with Charlie and Vaggie.
"Well, one thing is for sure," Husk said looking after Lucifer, "That man cares a lot about you."
You blushed, you hoped so, you hoped and prayed that was true. But because of the structure, no matter what he said or did, you always had some level of doubt hanging in the back of your thoughts. You wish you didn't have to second guess every interaction. You wish you knew how an actually health dynamic looked like so that you had something to compare to. Most of all, you wished you didn't have to be scheduled and paid in order to see him. Would he even want to see you outside of the time he pays for you?
"How do you know?" you asked Husk. Husk gave you a soft smile, "No man spends as much time as he does constantly checking in on you if he does not care."
You cock an eyebrow, "But, he doesn't constantly check on me."
"Maybe from you're perspective," Angel chimed, "That mothafucka is constantly lookin' over at you, why do ya think he was over here so fast as soon as you started pullin' into ya'self. Which, thanks for da save by da way. I am not ready ta get on his bad side."
You looked over your shoulder at here at Lucifer, a moment later, he looked at you, smiled, and waved. You waved back, and looked back to the others.
"See? Man's totally whipped," said Cherri. Doubted that, Lucifer having feeling for someone like you? Ya right. But you could see how they would think that way without knowing the truth behind your relationship, and they made a fair point, he did care to some degree. You couldn't keep the blush from tinting your cheeks. I mean I guess he did send a man to be tortured for all eternity for hurting you, that has to mean something... No matter how small.
Before long, it was time to go. You hugged everyone goodbye that wanted hugs. While hugging Charlie you said, "Kick his ass honey, I'd really hate to lose a good housing option." Charlie beamed and hugged you even tighter, to the point where it almost hurt, "We will! We'll get you set up right after we kill all of the angels or kick their asses back up to Heaven!"
You laughed, said goodbye, and you and Lucifer departed back to his place. Little did you know, that would be your last time inside of that hotel.
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Sleep had not come easily for both of you that night, but it did all the same. Your time at Lucifer's did not end the following morning, Lucifer had booked out the rest of your day, he did not want to risk you getting caught if an exterminator if the angels were successful at wiping out everyone at the hotel and started going after the rest of the sinners. He knew the exorcists would not go anywhere near his house, Here, at least, he knew that you would be safe.
You wanted to help, but you knew you weren't a fighter, and giving Lucifer some peace so that he could fight when it came down to it was more important. Lucifer already had his hands tied in this situation. He had been the one to originally allow the exterminations to happen in Hell, mostly because he had no clue what else to do and he had been backed into a corner in that initial discussion with Heaven.
There was one rule however, that if broken, would allow him to fight, that rule being that hellborns were not allowed to be harmed. Funny, that a rule that he originally set in place to protect Charlie was now the rule that he hoped would get broken in order for him for be able to fight, and the only hellborn in this fight was Charlie, well, and Razzle and Dazzle too. Lucifer had created them as guardians to protect Charlie, and creations fell into a weird catagory. But an attack on them normally meant an attempted attack on her. He had to gamble that one of them would get hurt, but not so hurt that Charlie would be erased. It was a very uncomfortable situation, but nothing about this whole situation was anyway.
The two best case scenarios were that they could take out everyone, including Adam, without hurting Charlie, so Lucifer would never be needed, or for Charlie/her guardian's to get lightly hurt, so that Lucifer could jump in. Once he was able to jump in, the battle would basically be over. You didn't know much about how powerful Adam was, you had only seen small bits of Alastor and Lucifer's power, and nothing of Charlie's ability to fight him off. You had no idea how this was going to play out.
Lucifer however, knew how powerful Adam was, as well as his and Charlie's power, and he had a small idea of Alastor's power based on how he had defended the hotel a month ago. Lucifer didn't think that Alastor was going to be able to take out Adam completely, but he thought he would be able to most like put up a good fight, delay him, maybe get a few good hits in. If Charlie was as much of a fighter at Lucifer was, he wouldn't be as worried, but she was a gentle soul and didn't utilize her powers a lot. It was gonna be hard to tell how this was going to go.
Lucifer sat on the couch, tense, holding your hand, wings already out, waiting for the signal, waiting for the energy between him and Charlie to activate that would inform him that Charlie or her guardians had been hit. Before long, the sensation of a sting of shared pain ran through his body. He quickly kissed you on the forehead, said "See you on the other side," and jumped through a portal out to the battlefield.
You were now alone with your own fear.
You went to the window to see if you could see the hotel from his manor, but you barely couldn't. All you could do was pace around the house, waiting for Lucifer to return. You thought about turning on the tv or radio to listen for any news, maybe looking for a livestream on your phone, but no, all of that would have just made it worse. So you paced, until you decided to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling, trying hard just to breathe.
Until... a portal opened up. You sat up, looking at the portal, through the swirling red magic, you saw a familiar black claw reach out to you. You smiled, as the image continued to clear up, and you could see Lucifer, next to Charlie, and Vaggie, Angel, Husk, Cherri, Niffty... all covering in golden blood, except for Lucifer who looked exactly the same as when he left.
You felt tears well up in your eyes as you jumped through the portal into the arms of your friends. You all hug in a group before Lucifer picked you up and spun you around. After the laughter and smiles you looked around, something was missing, something big. It was quiet.
"Where are Alastor and Pentious? And... oh my god! The hotel!" you said realizing that it was not only some friends that were missing, but that the group was literally standing on the rocky remains of the Hazbin Hotel.
Charlie rubbed her arm, "Pentious... Pentious scarified himself for us... Adam killed him... he's... he's gone. And, umm... we aren't entirely sure what happened to Alastor either... He was fighting Adam, and the next thing we knew, Adam was out fighting the rest of us. We haven't seen him since. And... ya... Adam took out the hotel."
"And I took out the Bad Angel Man!" Niffy said, proudly holding up her little dagger, both her at it covered in bright golden blood.
You and the others laughed at Niffy's excitement, but your heart broke for your friends, you hadn't really gotten to know Sir Pentious very much, but your knew he had meant a lot to the hotel crew. You hoped that Alastor had found a way to slip out or something, he was... a unique individual... but he was also an important piece to the hotel. And the hotel...
Lucifer grabbed your hand, "The hotel, however, we can fix." He said with a smile, "Wanna help us build a hotel?"
You smiled, finally something you were able to do to help.
"Lets do this!"
The rest of the afternoon was spent with the whole crew building up a new Hazbin Hotel, one that was even bigger and better than the previous one. You had no idea that it was possible to set up a new building in an afternoon, but with Lucifer's extraordinary magic and an amazing team, the shining new doors of the hotel were gleaming and open again.
Lucifer could not stop smiling the whole rest of the afternoon, to have a purpose behind his creativity and powers of creation, to have a community again that liked him, to have his daughter back and getting to support her dreams, and to have you, you who made all this happiness fall into place again. Getting to beat the shit out of Adam had also been quite enjoyable.
He looked down at the wedding ring that was still on his left hand, after wearing it for so long, he had forgotten that it wasn't just a part of him, it was his reminder of Lilith. He would still always have love and care for Lilith, but the time of her had come to an end, and you were his new horizon. He wasn't ready to take off the ring just yet, he didn't want to tip anyone off, but god did he just want to toss of the ring, swoop down from the sky, scoop you up, kiss you, and tell you how much he loved you in front of all of hell, but this wasn't the time. This day was about Charlie and her dream. Plus... he was still really fucking nervous and didn't know how to say it to you.
Eventually, Alastor manifested himself back from the shadows and re-joined the group, Lucifer and Husk were... less than thrilled, but everyone else was happy, including you. The group celebrated at their new beautiful hotel together late into the night.
Eventually, you and Lucifer split off for the night to celebrate the rest of the night together snuggling in each other's arms. You fell asleep first that night, and Lucifer spent his last few minutes awake looking at your beautiful face in the darkness or his room, daydreaming about the best way to tell you how he felt.
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Don't get too comfortable! I've got one more twist in store for these two :) xoxo, dany As usual, leave a comment if you want added to the taglist so that you can get notifications when future chapters drop!
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chkn-soup · 1 month
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Baby i need more pervert vox, your so good at writing him, just please, take my soul and let me live in glory!
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PHOTOSHOOT PT.2
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Warnings: cursing?, explicit sexual content, DUBCON/NONCON (for reference I don’t condone any of these acts IRL) fondling, Somno, use of Y/n, Vox is a gaslighting master, p in V, unprotected, spanking, blood, Vox powers off!!
Syno: Vox (your fellow Vee) is a massive pervert towards you pt.2
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It made him laugh, the way you’d wake up in the morning and immediately begin complaining about the new found bruises around your body, especially on your chest from how hard his claws had been poking into them while he was fondling you.
Your whines about the pain also got him going a little, just the thought that he left those marks on you and you had not the faintest idea.
He’d put on his key fake smile and completely assure you that it happened yesterday when you tripped and fell, you could’ve sworn that you had caught yourself, but the way Vox was telling you that your chest had hit the floor pretty hard..you just had to believe him, of course..why would he ever lie to you?
He liked that you thought so highly of him that you’d never suspect that it was him, or that he’d even lie to you in such a way because you were such close friends.
That’s why he felt extra guilty about sneaking into your room that night.
His clawed hand turns the knob of your door slowly, creaking it open. Seeing you already peacefully sleeping, so sweetly.
He trails his way in, he wants to take it slower with you tonight, instead of just getting into the fun part, he wants to work himself up.
That’s all the more entertaining for him. He sits on your bed, his breathing begins to match your own, watching the rising of your chest as you mewl and shift in your sleep softly.
He smiles at you, genuinely this time, not like the fake ones he’d give you anytime you got in your pretty little head about all your weird injuries.
His hand runs up and down your shoulder feeling the warmth of your skin, he plays with the strap of your white tank-top. And then he places his hand on your chest, cupping your mound and squeezing gently, right on the bruises he left last time.
..”Ow..” His screen glows a much brighter blue, lighting up your features greatly as he hears your voice, you groggily get up.
“..Vox?” you blink in the gleaming light of his face. He tones is down a notch, apologizing quickly.
“What are you doing here?” You yawn out sleepily
“I..Well..I uh..I came to check on you…to see if you were ok..you were uhm..screaming and shifting in your sleep, I think you were having a nightmare.” He lies through his digital teeth.
“..Was I?” You question yourself, you don’t think you were even dreaming? But maybe Vox is right, maybe that’s how you’ve been getting all those bruises, shifting and tossing in bed.
“But..you are ok now, I’m here.” He installs a fake trust in you, he makes you depend on him without you even realizing it..and it works, you truly believe he can help you with anything, his words can cure all your problems.
“..can you stay here with me then..I don’t want to have another bad dream” he grins..,you actually believe him. He nods quickly, and of course sympathetically.
“Of course, what kind of friend would I be if I left you in such a pathetic state.” You are grateful you have such a nice friend like him.
Vox gets comfortable in bed next to you, adjusting himself so you can easily curl up into him. You wrap your arms around his figure and his hands come up to brush your hair.
He could totally take advantage of this, was this the perfect moment he had been waiting for, the perfect moment to pounce?
“..You know..Y/n, I think you’re one of the greatest assets of the V’s.” A compliment from Vox was like a blessing, he only gives compliment to people he thinks truly deserves it. Or to the people he’s trying to manipulate.
“You really think so?” You perk up, Vox knew just when to say the nicest things, just to get his way, and for you it didn’t even have to be nice, he knew how much you seeked validation, that even the smallest compliment would make you ecstatic.
Vox took advantage of that these past weeks, just so he has the opportunity of getting you in this state. He’d purposely find anything wrong with the work that you were doing and point it out, sure it hurt him to see the sad look on your face, but it all went along with his plan, to bring you to your absolute lowest and then skyrocket you back up so you’d feel that only being next to him you’d feel better.
He’d tell the other V’s to purposely pick on you or just leave you out of conversations..but what’s this, then Vox would come up to you, and have a conversation with you. You just thought Vox was so nice, it made you trust him a lot more than you already did.
And that’s exactly what he needed..to strike.
“And you’re beautiful.” Vox pokes your nose as he says this, it makes you blush, had you caught feelings for your best friend?
“..thank you..” You kinda move back away from him a little but he won’t let you slip from his grasp
“Y/n I’ve been thinking. We should team up, make something together, I know that the other V’s are all in different businesses, but..you and me, our things mixed togther would bring a whole new era to hell. Wouldn’t you just love that?” Vox smiles giddily and pinches your cheek.
“Uhm..well, y’know what yeah. It would, that would make me very happy Vox.” You slowly scooch back into him.
“Of course it would baby.” The look in Vox’s eye changes, his body begins to get warmer almost like an overheating device..what’s odd is that so do you, you feel your body warming up and you subconsciously shift your thighs togther.
“Listen, Y/n. You are..so perfect, in everything that you do. You’re so..pretty.” Here comes the praise again, Filling your empty little mind with the thought to do anything that would make Vox happy.
You fall right into his trap, your lips meet his. You pull back surprised at your own action
“Vox..I’m so sorry!” You panic, thinking you made a mistake, Vox just lets out a electronically reverberated chuckle.
Vox just grabs you by your chin and kisses you again, you let out a squeak noise but eventually kiss him back, the kiss than turns into a heated make out, and because of his pushing it includes a lot of tongue.
“You know what would make me so happy baby?” He talks in a different pitched voice, like in the way someone would speak to a pet, and it’s almost as if you are, ready to preform any trick just to get that special treat.
“What Vox, I’ll do anything” Anything? Vox almost snorts, this just all worked out too well.
“Take off these restricting clothes for me, ok baby?” You nod feverishly and sit up to begin taking off your unneeded layers.
Vox tries to act surprised at your gorgeous body, as if this wasn’t something he’s seen everyday.
“So beautiful baby, C’mere.” He roughly tugs you onto his lap. And begins grinding you on top of the stiff bulge in his silk pajama pants that he’s yet to take off.
He also sees that as a power move, that he’s still fully dressed and covered, while you’re just vulnerably naked infront of him. It shows just how much he hold over you, even his dignity.
“Please Vox, please fuck me” Vox just shushes you and goes down to suck on your chest, blue tongue flicking your nipple, and another clawed hand going to tweak with your other one.
His who’s mouth envelopes your boob, suckling on it rather harshly, your soft moans fill his ear, he can’t get enough of them.
He cuts it short to take his cock out, it’s a dark base with a light blue glowing tip, it’s pulsing out a sticky neon liquid from its slit. The sight makes you salivate.
You sink down onto his erection and his face contorts into pleasure, his screen gets brighter, and his body begins to vibrate, as if being a overworked device.
The vibrations are sent straight through his dick and into your gummy walls that are contorting around his cock in ways that he didn’t even imagine
You begin bouncing up and down on his cock, moaning out profanities that Vox was desperate to hear.
“Your such a slut Y/n, really, fucking me like this? What if the others hear us huh?” He ruts up into your warm pussy, your liquids mixing together and trickling down onto your bed sheets, his claws find your hips, and he bounces you up and down on his cock quicker, almost as if you weigh nothing, like your just a toy, a simple pocket pussy that is his to use.
“Vox~ I’m sorry” you so pathetic you’re even apologizing for your slutty behavior.
“It’s ok baby, you’re such a good girl.” He loves switching it up on you, going from attacking you to praising you like you are everything to him..and you kinda are..he just doesn’t know how to show it.
His cock forces it ways through your gummy walls and they are forced to take shape around him, make him the perfect fit and stretch to perfection.
“Oh fuck, your pussy was made for me baby.” He groans out as his heels dig into the bed as he begins to relentlessly pound into you from under you.
Your chest moves with the sheer velocity he’s pounding into you at, the vibrations from his body getting much stronger at this furious workout, a digital sweat trickles down his screen, as he furiously pounds into your pussy like a sex toy.
“Vox! Vox!” His name begins to pour out of your mouth unwillingly like a symphony
“Fuck, already dick drunk baby?” He scoffs as his hand goes to spank your ass harshly, loving the way your skin feels against his palm, he rubs your as and even claws into it enough to draw blood as he uses your pussy for his own pleasure
“I’ve been waiting to go this for years” he moans out, you think nothing of that statement with how caught up on his dick you are.
“Vox gonna-“ you whimper out and the vibrations from his dick and the ruthless pounding of his cock send you over the edge, you pathetically whine out, and your whole body spasms as if your were short circuiting just like him.
“Fuck, cumming already baby, how fucking pathetic are you, was I that good for you to be cumming so soon?” He scoffs at you and the mix of degradation and your tiredness and just pure overstimulation on how he hasn’t stopped his pace, catches up with you and tears begin pouring down your face.
“Haha, oh poor baby, come here honey, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry.” his lips find yours again as you both begin to feverishly grind against eachother and shove your tongues down each others throats. He even pulls his tongue out of your mouth for a second, just to get a taste of the salty tears streaming down your face.
As he begins getting closer to his edge his claws dig into your skin harsher, drawing more blood, and he begins letting out spurts of electricity from everywhere, the electricity zaps you in short counts. It tingles your skin and leaves you with an itch deep inside your blood stream, it makes you feel all vibratory inside as the electricity pulses through you, his screen begins to glitch as well
And as he comes to a finish, blue sticky strings of cum painting your insides with his seed, his screen goes blank.
You take a moment to breathe
“…..Vox..?” You almost whimper out as you get off his dick, did you..break him?
Suddenly his screen comes back..he blinks.
“Woah..that was amazing baby, we should do that more often.” He grins and chuckles genuinely this time.
“..Are you asking me to be your girlfriend!!” You get so incredibly giddy
“Uh..yeah kid why not” you’re so happy that you dont care how off put he is by actually dating, he’s not used to it..he usually just..fucks and then goes..but..yeah, he can get used to being called your boyfriend.
—————
Thank you guys for all the support, I love you guys. And I’m trying to get as many reqs as I can!!! Pls be patient😞🙏🏼🙏🏼🫶🏼🎀
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Ready, Aim, Shoot (3)
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Hi guys!
This is a little longer that what I was thinking, but it's the last part of the Ready, Aim, Shoot 's serie. Thanks to @holly-wallis for her ideas and advice ♥
Please enjoy ♥
I had to repost it, sorry if you already saw it ♥
TW : Blood, trauma, scare, creepy therapist.
PART 1 | PART 2
______________________________________________________________
Blood. There is blood everywhere. The more you look, the more there is. You look at your shaking hands, cover in red too. You don’t know whose blood is it though. The room you are in is only white, adding to the contrast with the blood color. Breathing quickly, you look around and that’s when you finally see her.
Alexia.
Alexia is on her back in the middle of the room, her body surrounded by red too. Panicking, you kneel next to her, shaking her to try to wake her. But she doesn’t. She stays still in your hand, not moving. Not breathing. This is when you scream.
You scream so much that it wakes you up suddenly. Heavily breathing, you sit on your bed, blindly trying to find the button on your bedside lamp. You finally managed to find it, but when you put the light on, Alexia isn’t next to you in your bed.
It’s only when you left your room to look for her that you remember. She’s not here tonight, she’s sleeping in Tenerife, where she played today. Or yesterday, because it’s actually three in the morning. It’s the first time she leaves you alone for all the night since you came back.
Alexia is not here, but it’s your fault really. You assured her that you will be ok, almost pushing her out of your shared flat. She made you swear to call her if you need her, no matter what time it is. She asked Mapi to come to look for you last night, so you watched the game with the blonde before she went home. You fell asleep quickly actually, you were far to imagine a wake up like that.
You should really call her; she will be disappointed with you if she learns the state of panic you are in without calling her. But you hate the idea to wake her up at this time of the night. She played yesterday, she’s coming home today. She needs to rest.
You find refuge on your couch, putting the TV on. But you can’t forget the picture of Alexia and the blood everywhere. You feel like it’s still on your body, no matter how many times you look at your hands to be sure that you don’t have a little red on you. Thirty minutes after you wake up, you decided to go take a shower.
You pass a long time under it, water burning, washing your body again and again. You ignore the scare that your accident left on your body. You hate them. No matter how many times Alexia kissed them, telling you that you are strong and even more beautiful than before.
You feel guilty as hell when you think about your girlfriend. She is amazing with you, so patient and so loving. You don’t feel like you deserve her. You don’t make any progress with your mental health and it’s disturbing. You even think about breaking up with Alexia one time, disgusting by yourself. She deserves so much more than you. But right after, you had a panic attack, because how can you live without her? She’s your whole world.
You are not even strong enough to make the things right for her.
When the feeling of the hot water and the strength with which you rubbed your skin became too much to handle, you stop the water and get out of the shower. This time your skin is red, but you know why.
You pick a hoodie from Alexia and one of her old Barcelona’s short. If you can’t have your girlfriend’s arms, at least you can have her smell. And, after some hesitation, you even take her pillow to go with you to the couch of your living room. You take snack and watch some stupid things on TV while scrolling on your phone.
You are still tired, but you don’t want to take the risk to fall asleep again. You’re terrified to have this dream again. Every time the images came back in your brain, you try to hug Alexia’s pillow harder. It kind of work, but it has nothing to do with Alexia’s comfort.
You fall asleep after 8 o’clock, after your girlfriend told you that they are boarding and that she will be home soon.
You are still asleep when Alexia comes home. She smiles seeing you laying on the couch, cuddle against her pillow, in her clothes. You are watching YouTube now, from her account, and you choose the playlist where she puts all the games she finds interesting. Only putting her suitcase on the ground, she comes to sit next to you, softly stroking your hair.
“Alexia?” you mumble, opening your eyes with difficulty.
“Hi sleepy head”
Her smile is affectionate, and you get up on one elbow to rub your eyes and have a better look at her. Her hairs are down and she seems fine. She seems happy, maybe to see you? The plan was that she takes a taxi with Jana to come back home, Alexia didn’t want you to drive because some noises sometimes make you jump.
“How are you?” Alexia asks softly.
“Can I have a hug?”
She smiles and passes her arms around you to hug you. But you lay on the couch again, taking her with you on it. She giggles and you smile, forgetting for the first time your nightmare.
“I’m glad you’re here” you whisper after some minutes.
“I’m glad to be back to you too.”
You hum, turning a little to pass a leg around her knees and cuddle tighter against her. She’s stroking your back lovingly, sometimes kissing your head. You started to wonder how much mental pressure you are putting on her when she talks again.
“You remember Marta? From the media team?”
“I think I do” you answer, frowning. “Why?”
“She just left for her maternity leave, and she doesn’t know for now if she will come back.”
“Ok?”
You are still frowning when you look at your girlfriend, not understanding where she wants to go. I mean you are happy that people have baby and all. But what does it make a change for you?
It looks like Alexia’s idea was that you apply for the job. You try to escape that idea, not really happy about the idea of meeting tons of people who will know about your story and look at you with pity in their eyes. But Alexia assures you that it won’t happen, adding that you just can go for the interview without saying yes after.
Long story short, you are now sitting on your desk for your first day.
Your job is basically to find idea of activities to anime the games, a little more marketing than journalism to be honest. But it looks fun and like Alexia said before, when Marta will come back, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.
********
“Hi, I’d like a meeting with the new media manager?”
A voice in front of you make you raise your head, even if you recognize it immediately. Alexia is smirking at you from the door of your office, looking like she just finishes her shower. Which she probably did, given the time.
“I’m sorry, but you have to talk to my assistant first, she will give you my time schedule” you smirk back.
Alexia frown slightly, closing the door behind her before coming for you.
“You have an assistant?”
You know that frown and you roll your eyes while standing up to great her like she deserves it.
“Yes, I have” you answer, letting yourself go against her when she takes you in her arms.
She hums, her lips against your hair, trying to look discreetly in the open office by the window. The gesture makes you chuckle and you raise your head to have a better look at her.
“What? I was just looking to know if you knew her, that’s all.”
“Sure, mi Amor.”
She pouts and you kiss it better, just to see the smile she has right after. You weren’t really happy to start to work again to be honest, but you have to admit that it’s a good thing for you to keep your head busy with something. Alexia was right, once again.
“Are you ready to leave? I’m taking you home.”
“I am.”
You take your stuff with you, before letting Alexia passes her arm around your waist to take you with her. You don’t know if it’s only the jealousy talking right now, but you have to admit that she is way more openly affective with you since your accident. Not that you have a problem with it, obviously. But the way her gaze is scanning the room when you left after saying goodbye to your colleagues, it makes you think that there is at least a little part of jealousy in it.
Which is totally stupid, you only see her.
“You seems happier” Alexia says cautiously over her plate that night.
You look at her for some seconds before nodding. You are, but you are scared to mention it in case that it makes your nightmares coming back.
“I am. Thanks to you” you smile softly.
“Are you really? Or are you hiding something from me like when I was away for the game to Tenerife?”
You blush and almost chock on your tomato, but you somehow are able to keep some dignity. You don’t take the time to try to deny her statement though, you know that she knows. Of course she does. She reads you like an open book. Alexia has the decency to not point anything else, waiting patiently for your answer.
“I really am better. You were right, I really needed to get out from here even if it was difficult at first. It’s great to have something to do, not that cooking for you wasn’t entertaining. But going out… It’s great.”
She nods softly, without leaving your face with her eyes. You know immediately that there is something else in her mind, but you don’t push, letting her carry the conversation.
“Do you think I was too suffocating with you? Maybe if I…”
“No!” you cut her after some seconds of incredulity. “Alexia how could you…? Are you joking? You are the reason that I’m still here and mentally good. You are the reason that I keep fighting to be fine again. I couldn’t have done it without you. I forbid you to think of anything like that.”
“I’m sorry. It’s some insecurities and I shouldn’t have told you that” she frowns again, playing with her forks and some pasta left in her plate.
“Alexia, don’t please.”
She looks at you again when you stand up, just to come sit on her lap. She welcomes you by taking you close against her with her arms. You pass your arms around your neck, one of your fingers playing with the baby hair on her neck.
“You are so perfect to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to thank you enough one day for it. You were always right and done nothing wrong all those days. A lot of people would have abandoned, but you are still here with me.”
“I’ll never abandon you” she mumbles, looking right into your eyes.
You can see how much she means those worlds and you have to take all your strength not to start crying like a baby. You’re pretty sure that your eyes are shining from tears but you busy yourself by stroking her cheek tenderly.
“You said one time that my come back is a miracle, do you remember? Well, you are my miracle.” you add, after she nods.
She kisses you and the way she did makes your head turned. She only let you breath for several seconds when you need air, before kissing you again with even more intensity. You had sex again after some weeks of rehab from your part, but not like you did before your departure. And it’s hard to see Alexia restrain her gestures, scared as hell to hurt you. Tonight though, you feel like that maybe it will come back.
********
It came back.
You are laying on your bed, lovingly enveloped in your girlfriend’s arms. Her skin is so soft against yours, your face hiding in her neck. You are lull by Alexia’s deep and slow breathing and you are starting to wonder if she’s falling asleep when she talks quietly.
“How are you feeling?”
“Great. Safe. Warm.”
“Perfect” Alexia sighs softly, moving a little to be more comfortable on the mattress.
You look up at her, admiring the shape of her jaw, her perfect nose, her beautiful eyes, and her so kissable lips.
“What?” she asks when she sees you staring.
“Nothing” you giggle. “You’re just so beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes before closing them, tightening you harder against her. You don’t need anything than her body to keep you warm and you love it.
“Would you be angry if I stopped working there?”
The sudden question makes her open her eyes again to look at you. She seems to be thinking for several seconds before answering.
“Of course not. Why do you want to stop anyway? Is someone nasty with you?”
“Not at all” you deny, already imagine her hunting the person who would do that to you. “I was thinking that… maybe I could finish one of my book projects?”
“You mean one of your thousand amazing scenario who are desperately waiting on your computer?”
“Exactly that” you answer, rolling your eyes.
She teased you way to much about it already.
“If it’s what you want, of course I’ll support you. But what about going out to meet people?”
You see the worried already and you answer, kissing her cheek.
“I’ll go write into a Café or something. Maybe seeing people, crowd and streets will help me to get idea.”
********
That’s exactly what you did, after finishing your job with the media. The first days, you weren’t really effective, more focused on what’s going on around you and which story you want to choose. After some debate with yourself and help asking to your mother and Alexia, you choose to mix two stories and start writing again. It made you start from the beginning, but it’s maybe better like this.
You still get to your psychiatrist to your session twice a week, always a little more scared to go without Alexia. Your psychiatrist told both of you that it could be good for you to come without your girlfriend. Alexia accepted immediately, always being interested in everything that can make you feel better. So on Mondays would go without Alexia and on Fridays you go with her.
You always have a strange feeling without Alexia’s halo, and it’s only happened when you come here. You don’t have trouble to go grocery shopping without Alexia or go to the Café to write.
It’s particularly hard to come today, you talked to Alexia by the phone before your appointment to ease your stress. She seems to realize that something is wrong, because she talks a lot about her day. She only does that to change your mind, and you love her for that.
“Good Morning, Y/N.” your therapist greats you.
You great her back and start talking about your new occupation, your activities since the last time and the travel Alexia proposed to you last night. It was something you can’t stop to think about since she mentioned it, eager to go away for some days in the sun with the woman you love.
“Don’t you think it will be too soon?” the doctor asks sceptically, only looking at her notepad.
You are taken aback. You would never have thought that she can be thinking that it’s a bad idea. She never stops to tell you to go ahead and try new things since the beginning.
“Taking a plane, going to an airport, in a place that might remind you of your trauma? What would you do if you have one of your panic attacks there?”
You don’t know what to answer to that. Alexia mentioned Canary Islands and a private hotel with a private beach, which seems far away from the Middle East.
“No, I mean… I’m going better now. And I’ll be with Ale. Everything will be ok.”
She looks at you this time, raising an eyebrow. Her look is sharp, almost mean and you have trouble swallow your saliva. You feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied by her teacher.
“Don’t you think you already lean too much on the poor girl? Maybe she suggests the holidays to have some rest, are you sure she wants you to go with her?”
You don’t really remember the end of the appointment, but it keeps getting worse. And you don’t know how you managed to find yourself in the Barcelona’s facilities either after it. You can’t think straight anymore, it’s like this woman knew all your insecurities and tell you that you are right to have them. One after the other.
What if she’s right? What if Alexia can’t stand your presence, your toxics dreams and mental health? You already knew that you weren’t good enough for her and that she deserved better. You can’t believe that you let her makes you believe that she can love you. How can she? How can anyone?
You were turning around to go home when you hear someone call your name.
“Y/N?”
You recognize Mariona through your tears, but you can’t say anything. She doesn’t seem to mind though, carefully taking your arm in her hand.
“What are you doing here? Are you looking for Alexia?”
You try to scream at her to let Alexia alone and not to get you to her, but you can’t. When you don’t say a word, Mariona decides to take you to Alexia. Luckily the Majorcan woman came late today and she knows exactly where to find your girlfriend.
You let Mariona drags you around, hearing her soothing voice without being able to understand what she’s saying. Sweets, encouraging words, for sur. You can’t figure out really what happens next, but after several minutes of walk, you hear Mariona calling your girlfriend’s name. And more seconds after, you are surrounded by her arms, her perfume, everything that is her.
Everything that you don’t deserve.
When Alexia realizes that she’s facing a wall and that you won’t say a word, she takes you home. You are like anesthetized at this point, letting her do what she wants with you. It’s only when you are laying on the bed you retake some reality and stare at Alexia who seems to be choosing clothes to put on you after taking a shower.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
The words were lifeless, but you see Alexia froze. She turns in your direction, with eyes wide and the most chocked face ever.
“What?”
“I’m breaking up with you” you repeat, looking at her straight in her eyes.
A silence pass and you see Alexia watching at you, probably waiting for you to say something else. Maybe to explain yourself, but you don’t say another word. Plus, the reasons are obvious, no?
“Are you- don’t you love me anymore?”
She seems broken. That doesn’t make any sense, she is supposed to be relieved, not sad. You don’t understand her reaction, so you shrug before answering.
“That’s not the point, Alexia. You are free. I’m giving you your liberty back.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did someone give you something to you?”
She seems angry now, almost shouting with her eyebrows frown. You frown too, because why the hell won’t she understand? You sit in the bed while she’s still standing in front of you.
“No! I just… Why won’t you…”
Why is your brain suddenly transformed in pudding?
You look at Alexia when she comes to you and takes your face between her hands. She does it with so much care that you want to cry again.
“Why don’t you let me break up with you?” you whisper.
“Because I love you. I told you; I’ll fight for us every day if I have to.”
There we are, you are crying again. But this time Alexia is here, she can take you against her, rock you will you cry and whispers sweets nothing in your ears. She waits for your sobbing to stop, holding you tightly. Only when you can breathe normally again, she speaks.
“What happened?” she asks softly.
You don’t know really where to start, so you just shake your head without answering anything. But she waits, again and again. So, after some minutes, you talk too.
“I just want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happier without me.”
“You are wrong.”
Her voice is gentle, but as the same time strong enough to let you know that you don’t have to try to deny it. It’s her truth and that’s enough.
“Well you need to take some time apart from me so it’s not –“
“Where the hell does that idea comes from?”
She’s lost. You were good when you end up your call some hours later. Stressed but good. And then you appeared crying during her training, only to say her when you come home that you want to break up with her. But you frown again, lost too. And tired, to be honest.
“My therapist said that I’m leaning on you too much. And that’s way you wanted to go on holidays without me.”
You explain that like it’s the more logical thing in the world, but for Alexia it doesn’t make any sense. She starts to understand where it comes from however, even if she doesn’t understand why.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, what the point to have holidays if you’re not with me?” she answers, looking right into your eyes. “Did your therapist say other things?”
You nod and start to explain everything happened and everything she told you. The more you talk, the more Alexia seems to be furious. Her jaw is clenched, her eyes are literally throwing lightning and she so tense that you are really concerned that she can have a cramp somewhere. But when she talks to you again, her voice is infinitively soft.
“Nothing of that is true. I love you. I will do everything to help you to make you feel better. I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. I’m not going to give up on us.”
You look at her, almost desperately. But she has the same gaze that she has when says things like this. Her eyes are soft, caring and so loving that you can’t do otherwise than believe her.
“I don’t feel like I’m better, Ale” you whisper. “I don’t think I will be one day.”
“You are. You are working, you are getting out, you are smiling again. It’s ok to have bad days, like everyone else. Yours are a little more complicated because you had to go through horrible things. But you have the right to not feel good or needing help a little more some days. And what she said was wrong.”
You are lost, honestly. Alexia can see that you are coming back at yourself again though. Like if you are waking up. You seem always a little desperate and she takes you carefully against her. You let her, sighing of relief when you find the comfort of her arms.
“What if she’s right and you haven’t realized for now?”
“She’s wrong. And she will know it.”
You don’t question what she was implying, too tired to realize what her words may imply. You let Alexia taking you in a bath and more generally taking care of you. You look at her through the mirror when she does your hair.
“When I get better, it will be me who will take care of you” you inform her.
She smiles and finish to undo a knot in your hair before answering, looking at you through the mirror too.
“Okay Cariño.”
She’s smiling but doesn’t seem to make fun of you. You relax, letting your shoulder go down a little bit. That’s mean that she really believes that you will be better.
********
Alexia keeps her promise, going to your therapist’s office in the early hours to talk to her. You don’t know what she told her, but now you don’t have to go to your appointments, and you even have a new psychiatrist, advised by someone from Alexia’s staff.
Rumour has it that Alexia’s shouts still resonate in the psychiatrist’s office.
You don’t know if it’s your breakdown of the change of therapist, but some days after this episode, you feel better than ever. You wake up with your head and your body feeling lighter and Alexia is surprised to see you coming in the kitchen when she’s taking her breakfast. Usually, you stay way longer in bed.
“Is everything alright?” she asks nervously.
You nod, rubbing your eyes before coming behind her to pass your arms around her waist.
“Just wanted to be with you a little bit before you leave.”
Alexia hums when you kiss her neck. You can feel a gaze studying you while you are making yourself coffee, before coming to sit next to her.
“Are you sure that you’re ok Cari?” she asks, almost shyly while you stole a strawberry from her bowl.
“I’m sure baby” you smile at her.
Alexia is looking at you suspiciously during several seconds. She red things about people being “high” before getting down and of course she is scared. But you seem really good today and she can’t help but smile when you kiss her cheek.
“Uhu” she said, taping her lips with expectation.
You giggle but kiss her anyway, smiling against her lips. You are still smiling when she strokes your cheek with her fingertips and when she puts her forehead against yours.
“I love you so much” she whispers before kissing you again.
“I love you more” you smiles.
Alexia does no with her head and put a finger on your mouth when you want to talk again.
 “Would you like to come with me to training today?”
You hesitate for several seconds before answering. It’s been a while since you came to see Alexia in training. You can’t remember who you saw some days before, only Mariona. But you hope that they weren’t a lot.
“You can say no if you don’t want to.” Alexia adds after seeing you hesitate.
“No, I want to come. But… Who were here, the other day? You know…”
“Only Mariona. And I’m sure that she doesn’t say anything to anyone.”
You are relieved to learn that, even if you don’t know how Alexia can know.
“Did you treat her?” you smirk.
“No” Alexia laughs. “I know the girl, she’s one of the most loyal, sweet and discreet that I’ve ever met.”
She was right. Mariona didn’t told anyone about what happened and after several minutes you realize that Alexia was right once again. You hug the Majorcan woman a little longer than Alexia’s other teammates when you met them, silently thanking her. She seems to understand because she smiles at you before taping your cheek affectionately.
And today, as you watch Alexia training and laughing on the pitch with the teammates that she considered like her family, you’re starting to have hope again. Alexia was right every time, so maybe she will be right this time again. You will be better.
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worldlxvlys · 3 days
Text
one choice
part 6 of the CRUSH series
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bsf! matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: angst, mentions of sex, cursing
a/n -> hope u like <33
read the previous part for context !!
MATT’S POV
when my eyes fluttered open, i was immediately met with a pillow that wasn’t mine. i knew this pillow though, and those sheets.
i had forgotten where i was momentarily, until i looked over and saw her. her eyes were closed, lips parted slightly while she slept peacefully.
she looked angelic, the soft rays of the sun seeming to make her glow. she moved around in her sleep last night, leaving her barely covered by her blanket.
i couldn’t help but let my eyes wander her body, taking in every feature. her smooth skin was littered with dark marks all over, and the blanket left little to the imagination. before i knew it, i was hard again.
it took everything in me to fight the urge i had to take care of it right there next to her. what would she think if she woke up to me jerking myself off to her sleeping form?
oh my god, what was gonna happen when she woke up? she would want to talk about what this meant for us, but i couldn’t handle that.
what if this was a one time thing? what if she wanted nothing to do with me after this ? did i fuck up our friendship? i had to get out of there.
i got up quickly and quietly, careful not to make any noise while i got dressed. when i was done, i pulled her blanket over her so she was fully covered. i looked around for a pen and paper to leave her a note, as i didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
ok, she has nothing to write a note with. i’ll just leave her a text.
well i could have done that, if i had realized i completely forgot my phone in her room before i left. i didn’t make this realization, however, until i had gotten back home.
so not only did she think i was the type of guy to fuck and dip, but i also couldn’t avoid the conversation that i was running from in the first place.
it’s not that i never wanted to talk about it, i just wasn’t ready for our friendship to change yet.
was running away the best way to handle the situation? definitely not, but i only had so much time to decide what to do before she woke up.
so basically, my overthinking ended up screwing me over. doesn’t it always ?
what was wrong with me? this was the girl who made me feel safe and loved, and now i couldn’t even talk to her. how did i manage to fuck up this badly?
one choice. one choice stemming from my fantasy-filled thoughts is all it took. and the decision i made last night led to more poorly made choices. choices that i wouldn’t have made had my brain not been corrupted by her.
her face, her smell, those perfect little moans that fell off her lips, she had a way of making me ignore every logical thought that my brain produced. i was so desperate to finally have her in the way i’d only dreamed about for years.
now if i didn’t fix this, i wouldn’t have her in any way.
———
READER’S POV
when i woke up, matt was gone. the spot where he had slept next to me was cold, meaning he hadn’t been there for a while.
for a second, i questioned whether last night was even real. had i really fallen so deep into my delusions that i started to believe them? i found the thought to be worrisome, but i tried not to dwell on it as i got up and made my way to the bathroom.
when i caught a glimpse of the hickeys decorating my skin i felt relief wash over me. i wasn’t going crazy. just as quickly as it came, the relief was replaced with a new feeling; embarrassment.
i seriously let myself think that he would want something more. hell, he marked me like he did. but he didn’t treat me like i was his best friend, he treated me like i was a one night stand.
maybe he had a valid reason for leaving. i tried to talk myself out of the rabbit hole of assumptions i was about to go down, and picked up my phone.
once a few hours had passed without him returning my texts or calls, i knew. he was done with me, he had to be. why else would he just leave without warning and ghost me?
i should’ve know this was going to happen, people always leave me in the end. it just never occurred to me that matt could be just like everyone else.
——
MATT’S POV
when i got to her house, i let myself in using the key she had given me. “y/n?” i called her name, not receiving an answer.
i pulled out the ice cream i had bought her on the way to her place, putting it in the freezer for her.
when i got to her room, she happened to be fresh out of the shower. she wore nothing but a towel, her eyes widening when she saw me.
“matt?” she asked before rushing over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. the water droplets that coated her skin soaked into my t-shirt, but all i could focus on was the fact that she was in my arms.
i inhaled the scent of her fruity body wash, eyes falling shut as i rubbed her back soothingly.
she then pulled away, smacking me upside the head with her heavy hand. “don’t do that again matt, i thought i scared you off. i thought you hated me- i thought i lost my best friend”
i cupped her cheek gently, “i could never hate you, and i’m not going anywhere. i was just overwhelmed, but i shouldn’t have just left life that. i’m sorry, i was gonna leave a note, but then i couldn’t find anything to write with. and i was gonna text you but i left my phone here and-”
“matt, it’s ok. i’m just glad that you’re here now” she whispered. “but there’s nothing to be scared of, i mean- last night was just the heat of the moment, right? i mean, it had to be, why else would you leave like that” she whispered the last part to herself.
shit. this was the problem, i didn’t know what the night before was.
i didn’t know what i wanted, and i didn’t want to hurt her in the process of figuring it out. what i did know, was i wasn’t going to lose her because i got greedy. so, i decided i would figure it out later, but for now: “yeah, that’s all it was”
“so, we’re good?” she asked. “we’re good” i confirmed.
“good. then i’m gonna get dressed and then we can watch something?” she posed the last part of the sentence as a question.
“yeah, and i brought you ice cream” i told her, watching her face light up at the news. “wow, you thought you really messed up, huh?” she asked as she grabbed her clothes to change into.
“i did really mess up, but i won’t do anything like that again” i told her. she just smiled at that letting out a quick, “i know” before moving to go back into her bathroom.
“wait, you’re seriously going into another room to get changed? did you forget how we spent last night together?” i joked. admittedly, it was probably a little too soon to crack jokes like that.
“last night never happened” she spoke before closing the door.
shit, why did that sting a little?
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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uzubebe · 5 months
Text
purgatory
type: one shot
pairings: dean winchester x fem!reader (mutual pining, friends to lovers?), sam winchester x fem!reader (estranged besties)
disclaimer: i don’t write often, but i’ve been rewatching supernatural and i have so many idea. this may not be the best, but just some self indulgence. i love sammy with my whole heart but he needed to be told off ok.
summary: the dick was dead. dean and cas were gone. and you didn’t rest a wink while searching for them. unfortunately it turns out dean wasn’t the only one sam abandoned that year.
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“cmon there has the be something” you sighed, aimlessly scrolling through 14 open tabs on your laptop and a pile of messy papers scattered across the motel table. you slammed your hands on the table in frustration, letting out a shaky breath and gripping your fists tight.
it had been a year. an entire year without dean winchester. the second he vanished you had delved into aimless research in a desperate attempt to find him. you had to busy yourself, because thinking about his absence for too long caused an indescribable pain to open up in your chest.
you had only broken down three times in your year long search, which you figured was a record for someone going through what you were. you’d spent countless nights crying yourself into restless sleep, sleep filled with dreams and nightmares about the eldest winchester.
you crammed your hands to your tired eyes in a hurry, shaking your head vigorously in an attempt to wake yourself. you had to focus because you sure as hell knew sam wasn’t doing anything about it.
after deans disappearance sam explained that he needed time and space, which you understood. you cared for him just as much as you cared for his eldest brother. he had been your best friend for as long as you could remeber. and this was his brother, someone he didn’t want to learn how to live without.
you didn’t realize that time and space meant him also disappearing for an entire year with zero contact. you tried to understand him in the beginning, tried to rationalize why he would leave with no warning or explanation, because there had to be one right ? after four months you decided he wasn’t coming back and it was your job to find his brother.
you felt tears well in the corners on your eyes, inhaling a sharp breath and stretching your arms to regain your composure, gearing up for more research instead of dwelling on the loneliness.
you were pulled from your thoughts as your phone began vibrating vigorously from your bag. you quickly pulled yourself from the chair, feeling your body creak, this year had aged you in more ways than one.
you pulled your phone from the bag and froze. you narrowed your eyes, studying the caller id in absolute astonishment.
dean winchester.
you scoffed in disbelief, settling on the first emotion that bumbled up your throat, anger. you quickly hit the answer button.
“listen, i don’t know who the fuck this is. but lose this fucking number, i don’t have time for prank-“ you started spitting vigorously into the phone, being cut off at the gruff laugh that echoed through the speaker.
“…dean?” you whispered. it couldn’t be. how was he calling you?
“yeah, y/n. it’s me” he said softly, this time the tears came pouring out without warning, you let out a sad sob mixed with some kind of laugh.
“where are you? please tell me where you are.” you begged, he quickly gave you his address and within second you were tumbling into your car and speeding to him.
-
once arriving you let out a sigh, mentally preparing yourself for something you had been longing for for the last year. after 2-3 seconds of this you decided you couldn’t wait a second longer. you barreled out of the car and began your search for their motel room, suddenly turning into an olympic runner as you looked at each room number. you breath hitched in your chest as you finally arrived in front of the door. you knocked briefly before swiftly barreling into the room. nothing could’ve stopped you from getting inside that room, and there was no time for pleasantries and manners.
“dean!?” you screeched, scanning the room. your eyes landed on him as he stood from the motel bed to greet you, a sense of overwhelming relief washed over you as you ran to him.
within second you were in his arm, tears flooding your eyes as you buried your head into his chest. you felt an arm tighten around you waist, as he cradled the back of your head with his free hand.
“shh, it’s okay y/n. i’m here. i’ve got you.” he whispered, trying to calm you from the heartbreaking sobs escaping your chest. you gripped the back of his shirt, pulling him as close as you could, fearing that if you let go he may disappear once again. after what felt like hours and finally realizing that this was real, you slowly pulled for him allowing him a minute to truly study your appearance.
you looked exhausted. your hair that had been previously above your shoulders now hanging loosely below your shoulder blades, tangled and messy. the bags under your eyes had grown, and you looked like you hadn’t eaten a proper meal in ages.
“y/n…what happened? are you okay?” he asked, concern flooding into his pretty green eyes. you let out a laugh and wiped your nose. you moved from him slightly, opting to grip one of his hands to keep yourself grounded.
“uh..you happened. i’ve been looking in every nook and cranny in this god forsaken country trying to find you.” you explained, sending him a melancholy smile. he studied you, pulling you to him and setting a soft kiss to your forehead.
“thank you. i’m sorry. i wish i could’ve been here.” he whispered, setting his forehead to yours. you closed your eyes, smiling softly.
“you’re here now.” you realized, letting out a breath that it felt like you had been holding for the past year. it felt like you had been suffocating all this time, and seeing him finally allowed you to breath properly again. you were basking in this feeling, inhaling the fresh oxygen that would only be provided by the presence of dean winchester.
you were trapped in your thoughts, that was until you heard a slight cough from behind dean, interrupting your moment.
“if you’re going to say something. don’t.” you demanded moving from dean, and seeing his younger brother sitting awkwardly on the bed behind him.
“listen-“ sam began, but you quickly cut him on, shaking your head as you moved further into his view.
“no sam. i don’t have to listen. you left. crowley told you that you were on your own and you just took his fucking word and ran with it. i was here. i was here the entire time and you just left ! so you don’t get to tell me to “listen.” not when i spent the last year destroying myself to find your brother, while you went off and got a fucking dog.” you spat, sam straightened up slightly, fidgeting with his hands. you were shaking uncontrollably, the prior moment of bliss was being overpowered by the rage and loneliness you had kept locked up throughout the last year.
“how do you…?” he asked, trailing off as he tried to gain the courage to meet your eyes again. you let out a cynical laugh, balling your hands into a tight fist.
“yeah. i looked for you. i was concerned. i needed to make sure you were okay. but you’ll never guess what i found. to my pleasant surprise i saw you playing house with a pretty brunette and friendly little dog. so you’ll have to give me a lot more than a sob story about how you couldn’t handle dean being gone for me to ever forgive you.” you said, moving closer to sam. he hadn’t ever seen you this way, so angry. he had to admit he was slightly unnerved and almost scared.
“because you know who else couldn’t handle it ? me. but i didn’t just lose dean, i lost you too. i called you daily for weeks, desperate for some kind of explanation. i was going out of my mind, alone in dingy motel rooms without the two people i needed most. and then, after a few months, i couldn’t even get your voicemail, just an automated voice telling me i was desperately trying to reach a disconnected number.” you were seething. you felt like every vessel pumping your blood was boiling, your raging heartbeat pounding in your ears, you thought you might pass out.
“so i don’t want to hear about how there was “a girl.” because there was a girl here the whole goddamn time. a girl who had been by your side for years. and you. still. left.” you continued, sam found himself staring at the floor, studying its pattern, because he couldn’t take the look of absolute betrayal that consumed your eyes.
“and guess what ? i didn’t get the fairytale year you had. because my person, the one i wanted to be with. the one i wanted to settle down and get a fucking dog with, was gone!” sam flinched at your tone. by the end of it, you found yourself screaming, throat feeling hoarse as you finally took a breath.
you calmed instantly as you felt deans hand reach for yours. you inhaled a deep breath and turned to him. not even realizing you had practically confessed to the years of pent of feelings you had for the man.
“y/n. i understand. really, i’m upset too. angry even. but let’s take a breather, yeah? you need a good meal, and an even better nap. why don’t we get out of here, give each other some space, regroup later?” dean suggested. you hadn’t noticed his watery eyes and unsteady voice. he was brought almost to tears at the state you were in, at what his absence had caused. you nodded slowly moving closer to him. sam slowly stood up.
“just call me when you guys are ready. y/n…i’m sorry. i really am.” he whispered, you didn’t turn around to look at him. you knew yourself well enough to know that those puppy dog eyes would make you feel insurmountable guilt, they always had. but you didn’t regret what you had said, it was the truth. and right now, you weren’t sure what could help you forgive your former best friend.
dean gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. he looked back to sam and sent him a sad smile as he led you out of the motel room.
he stopped and turned to you once the door clicked shut. he studied you, narrowing his eyes as you suddenly became incredibly fascinated with the small rock next to your left foot. you forgot what it felt like to have him watching you so intensely.
“where were you?” you whispered, finally meeting his gaze, relief washing over you instantly, he was here. he was real.
“uh…purgatory. guess standing to close to dick when he died gave me a one way ticket to his afterlife.” dean explained, you scoffed slightly, mentally punching yourself at the realization.
“fucking purgatory. of course. i should’ve figured that out. god.” you cursed yourself, how could you have been so stupid ? of course he was in fucking purgatory. dean picked up on the fact that you were internally blaming yourself for his disappearance and immediately took action.
“hey. hey.” he whispered, settings his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at him. he bent down to your level, a stern look on his face.
“do not, for one second, blame yourself. none of this was your fault, and you’ve done more than i could’ve ever anticipated. i know it was a hard, even excruciating year, but i’m here now. and i’m not going anywhere.” dean insisted, you studied the look in his eyes. it was one you hadn’t seen from him before, or maybe it had been so long that you just needed to re-educate yourself on his mannerisms.
“okay. thank you.” you whispered, setting one of your hands atop his. he scoffed slightly at you thanking him, when they should’ve all been thanking you.
“cmon, let’s get you something to eat sweetheart.” dean smiled, moving to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and walking you towards the car. you nuzzled into his side, wrapping your arms instinctively around his waist.
“think i made sam cry.” you scoffed slightly, replaying the intense speech you shoved down sam’s throat.
“yeah well i’m thinking maybe he needed to hear it.” dean stated, you let out a sigh and nodded.
“and for the record, i would’ve really liked it. settling down and getting a dog with you. i wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else.” dean declared, setting his lips to the top of your head, feeling him slightly smile into your hair. you’re smile grew, it felt like your heart was finally beating normally again. you dug your head further into his side in embarrassment.
“well i guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time.” you whispered, giving deans waist a reassuring squeeze.
“great plan, so we thinking doberman? golden retriever? maybe something small like a chihuahua or something?” dean joked, pulled you tighter into his chest with a laugh.
“shut up” you giggled, punching his chest playfully, sending him a big grin as he continued to chuckle. and since being back, dean felt okay again, at least for that moment. cause the two of you were together once again, and he had the ability to make you smile like that. he wanted to do it for the rest of his life.
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derangedanomaly · 1 month
Note
Bad Sans with a Tall Thick S/O I mean tall to the point they are at boob level (idk if this'll apply to horror but she can be at his chest level but she's still tall af)
Sounds like a dream to me- WOAH!!! WHO SAID THAT??!
MASTERLIST
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BAD SANSES X READER
THEM BEING AT YOUR BOOB LEVEL
WARNING: Established relationship, suggestive?, Not proofread!
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NIGHTMARE:
It isn't the first time he finds himself in this kind of predicament.. and it certainly isn't the last one either.
You can't help but stare down at him in slight concern, yes, that is the Nightmare you're concerned about, but still- he was acting very uncharacteristic. He was just staring at your chest area, almost frozen in spot... "Night? Dear..?" He didn't respond to your voice immediately, gaze still glue to your chest. "Are you feeling ok?" His gaze finally snapped to your face instead, as he blinked a several times. "Sometimes, I wonder if you rile me up on purpose..." He finally slurred out as he coughed a few times, clearing his throat.
You wore a tight fitting dress, that hug your curves perfectly. (I'm leaving the dress completely to your own imagination, except for the tight part! ^^) Maybe, you were wearing this on purpose, but you weren't gonna reveal that. You had quite the fun doing this to Nightmare, he looked like he had a hard time composing himself.
All you did next, was simply leave. Leaving him with his new problem. You flash him a smirk before finally going to your shared room. So that's how it is, well if that's the case, he'll have to go make a punishment for you.
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KILLER:
"Kills..." Nothing.
"Kiiillls!" Not even a budge.
"GODDAMMIT KILLER!" Ah, finally. He seemed to snap out of his gaze at your boobs. He stared at you wide eyed, as he wiped his mouth from any drool. Yes, that's right, he tends to drool during his stares..
You were wrapped in your towel, holding a pair of pants and a shirt. You've just gotten out of the shower, and Killer decided to go in the bathroom at this moment. It's like he has a radar for this..
You can't help but shake your head at him. "You're always so frozen on the spot during your unmoving gaze at my chest." Killer smirked at your remark, as he grasped your hip. "But you like it...right?" Of course you do.. how can you ever deny him when he gives you his pouting look?
"Don't give me that... I was about to get dressed!" You try to avoid his question, as you remembered that you're still unclothed. Killer's smirk has just gotten wider, if it's even possible. Oh no...looks like this'll be a long night... There goes your relaxation!
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DUST:
"You're so beautiful..." You can't help but flush at Dust's compliment, as you avert your gaze away from him.
You've just met up with Dust for a date. You're wearing a black dress, while Dust's wearing a tuxedo. How noble.
You giggle a little when you notice how he's trying to refrain from staring at your chest area. He's so considerate.
"S-Something funny, sweetie?" You awe at his nickname, and hold his hand. "You're just so cute... You know, if you want... You can stare." You lean in to whisper the last part to him, ending it with a simple wink. His cheeks flushed purple, as he let out a shuddered sigh
Dust seemed to melt at your consent, almost as if he's been craving it. "Thank you, sweetie, you have no idea how difficult it was..." You giggle yet again, squeezing his hand slightly.
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HORROR:
Horror beams at you, as you make your way over to him. "What's up bee?" He let out a short laugh at your nickname. He then points to an apron, also motioning to his own, wrapped around him. "You want to cook together?" He excitedly nods, holding a spatula in his hand. "Why not?"
You try to stiffle a giggle when he reaches over to you and holds you up. You'd say you're pretty tall... So you always get baffled when you see Horror's height. There's probably no one, other than the people in his AU, that can rival his height. Everyone probably looks like bugs to him.
"Hey, bee?" He hums, while chopping the meat. "What's the secret to your height?" His movements stopped, as he looked over at you, seemingly confused. "Well...I mean- compared to you, I'm pretty short, and that's saying something, so-" he's so quick that you almost jump when he's suddenly in front of you, holding your cheeks. "...Pretty tall..."are the only words that leaves his mouth, before giving you a kiss.
He skips away happily to the counter, while you sit there, cheeks flared up red, and out of words.
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Feel like this sucks ngl. But still, hope it's to your liking ^^
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deathbxnny · 2 months
Note
Ik i already sent a request to you but.. once you said you’re also accepting JJK requests. I just had to. I hope you dont mind this
Ok so im not into JJK as much as i am into Genshin and HSR and all but im aware of season 1 plot and some of season 2. But can i request Gojo and Geto with an underclassmen who they have a sibling like relationship die and came back as a curse spirit? (While this request have them together, you can make them seperate if you want)
Here the context:
So the reader is a year below Gojo and Geto. After some time since you guys met, the two of them sees the reader as their cute little sibling and in return the reader sees them as their cool big brothers. All was fine until the reader died from a mission. How did the reader die? They dont know. Both of them werent told how the reader died but if there’s one thing they were sure of, the reader wasnt killed by Jujutsu. Because what other explanations do they have when they see you come back as a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit they need to take out.
So in the JJK wiki, it is said that “Sorcerers must also be killed with Jujutsu or they can become a vengeful cursed spirit after death” Which makes a very good angsty sceanrio dont you think?
Hope you have a great day/night!
- Flower Anon 🌸
Hey there, Flower anon!! I absolutely love this idea, and thank you very much for the tasty angst. I've been itching to write some jjk angst, haha. Also, regarding your other request for the second part to the Lyney x reader one-shot, just know that I will make it in a separate post to your ask due to formatting issues! But either way, I hope you meanwhile enjoy this!<33
Content: Heavy angst, platonic relationships, Geto is deeply depressed, Gojo is in denial, hurt/no comfort, reader is a year younger than both of them, vague descriptions of readers death, mentions of blood/injuries, vague descriptions of jjk canon violence, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
Inspired by the song "Death" by Melanie Martinez
((Not fully proofread))
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Back from the dead.
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At first, you appeared in the flickers of lights, in the corners of mirrors, in the shadows casted by trees and their own bodies, in reflections of windows and water, in gruesome, awful dreams.
And then you began being there in larger ways. You'd stand behind them, follow them around, no matter where they went, no matter where they looked, you were right there.
It was easy to ignore you at first, act like you didn't exist, like you were just a part of their traumatised, exhausted imagination. When was the last time they had slept properly? Perhaps the day before your funeral. Your face was plastered everywhere, a smile gracing it like it always did, an excited, pure one for a sorcerer. But there was nothing to be excited about anymore.
Maybe that's why you looked so sad now, as you stood in front of them in this classroom that was reserved for people a year older than you'll ever be.
Suguru wondered if you felt guilty for taking the color of their world away with you when you died.
"You know... denial never suited you, 'toru." You whispered quietly to Satoru, breaking this suffocating silence at last. Your body leaned against the desk a row in front of him. It all felt so casual, as though everything was perfectly fine. You never left. You simply came back a little different.
This was the first thing you've ever said since you've come back, Suguru then solemnly realised in his depressive haze. He nearly didn't hear you and wished he hadn't either. Your voice sounded distorted, like it didn't belong to you at all. But it was still you... wasn't it?
The only visible sign that Satoru meanwhile had even heard you was in a stutter of his hands that in turn messed up his text to Shoko again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. What was he even texting her for again? Maybe for help? For a way out? "I'm seeing things again, Shoko. They're talking now." That's what your colorless eyes could read off his broken phone screen, which made you frown a little. You knew he'd never want to upset you. But he never wanted to face you again. Not like this.
It was so unlike him too, wasn't it? He hadn't been the same for a while now.
It was late in the afternoon by then, the orange hue filtering into the empty classroom through the blinds. An awfully nostalgic feeling that was now filled with tense bitterness. A past filled with laughter and joking now seemingly disappearing into the smoke of the burning incense sticks nearby.
Neither of them had said a single word for the entire duration of your little "hang out" session. Suguru simply leaned his head against his palm, gaze turned to a far away point in the darkening horizon outside, as the sun bid it's last warm goodbye. He took a deep breath, words shaky and filled with a deep exhaustion, not even his dear best friend could ever come close to feeling.
"Let him be... he'll come around eventually." The blackhaired boy muttered back to you, not bothering to look at your bloody, dead form anymore. He had come to terms with it a while ago. Or at least, visibly, he has.
Gojo just took a little longer in accepting your death, is all. Neither of them really knew who was handling the situation worse.
"Who are you talking to, Suguru?" There it was again, the odd denial the white-haired teen had drowned himself in. You never thought that he'd be the one to end up like this. You figured that Suguru would've had it harder, but perhaps this was just one of the many new things you've learned as a spirit. "Stop it, Satoru... you're not helping with any of this. It's just... making things worse." Gojo's teasing smile twitched, his head turning to look at his friend before he seemed to slowly deflate into his seat. You probably could only imagine how red and puffy his eyes were behind the sunglasses he refused to take off nowadays.
But in a way, you must've also understood why he was this way. How couldn't you?
Your death was untimely, unexplainable. No one knew what happened, and your body was never found either. One day, you were absolutely excited about going on a mission with your two favorite seniors, four hours later, you were missing, and a week later, you were declared as dead. The only proof they really had was a piece of your bloody uniform floating in a river nearby where the mission was supposed to take place. Other than that, there was no trace of anything else regarding you.
Suguru wished they would've at least had something to bury you with. Your casket was empty. And Satoru was ashamed to admit that he dared open the lid in a desperate attempt to see if you were in there after all. Just hiding, waiting to jump out and scare him. But seeing nothing made him break.
Everything got worse when you reappeared as this, however. A vengeful spirit that simply followed the both of them everywhere. You were relentless. And yet, neither of them could ever find a single trace of anger on you. Their guilt was heavy enough to make up for it, though.
It didn't help that Satoru refused to talk about it, even when they knew what they had to do. You only ever appeared around them, and both of them had made the unspoken decision to deal with you themselves. They felt like they had caused your death indirectly. The what if's kept piling up higher and higher until it eventually brought them here.
They thought that they were finally ready to move on, but oh, how wrong they were. It was so hard to see you as a simple spirit to exercise when you still looked like yourself most of the time. It just got bad when you looked dead. They couldn't hide behind their excuses and delusions when you looked like this.
Time ticked on and the silence was deafening again. You leaned in close to Satoru, glossy eyes staring into his side profile. "Stop ignoring me. I know what you're here for." You hummed, face devoid of any emotion. But the constant dripping of the blood that poured out of your nose and lips made Gojo close his eyes for a second longer and gulp down the painful lump in his throat. It was childish, absolutely stupid. But maybe... if he acted like you weren't there like always... then you wouldn't be. You were just a hallucination, surely. Neither of them had slept or eaten properly in months. He just had to pray that you'll go away, finally find the peace you were looking for.
But when he opened his eyes and you were still there, he just bit his lip. He couldn't take any of this anymore.
"Tell them to go away, Suguru. Please." "So you're finally done pretending now?" The blackhaired male asked, glancing back at his friend for the first time in hours. The great Satoru Gojo. The strongest of them all. Now reduced to nothing more than a miserable teen at your death. It would've been funny if he wasn't actually losing it right now.
Suguru shook his head at the lack of response before getting out of his chair and standing over the white-haired sorcerer. "Let's go outside." He said, not waiting for the other to agree before pushing past you. Or rather through you. He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide this really was for him. As expected, however, he heard Satoru's footsteps following behind him with ease. Typical.
The walk was silent and rather aimless. Neither of them knew where they were going. But their subconsciousness seemed to know. Suguru's body felt heavy, like he was dragging and fighting himself with every next step he took. He felt uneven and unbalanced. Like he'll fall over and break apart at any moment, and he doubted Satoru would be able to glue him together with shaky hands and teary eyes.
Geto pulled a hand through his black hair, strands unkempt and messy as they fell down hus shoulders. He caught a glance at his face in a mirror, the dark circles, even darker eyes staring back at him near accusingely. The anger and festering hate hidden under a thick layer of sadness.
"They weren't killed by a sorcerer." He suddenly said when they arrived at the schools courtyard. Satoru glanced at him, frowning a little. "Why does it matter now?" He asked, yet his best friend didn't bother answering. Why should he bother when the white-haired male was unwilling to wake up to reality. Instead, he stared at the Sakura trees filling the area, the ones you loved the most. And as expected, you stood right under them.
Your hands were clasped behind your back, smile so gentle and serene, that it made it look like you were simply waiting on them as always. And in a way, you were indeed doing so. Geto was thankful that your consciousness was strong enough for you to realise what was going to happen next. "Can you do it, Satoru?" He whispered, voice so soft, that it made Gojo actually consider it for a moment. But despite always having prided himself in being the strongest, he just stood still. Suguru couldn't help but smile tiredly at him. Perhaps the other boy would be happy about this if his smile didn't seem so bitter and exhausted. Like it took up all of his energy to force the corner of his lips to go up.
"I think they are the one thing I could never exorcize." "I'm glad you're being honest... I can't do it either." The two boys approached the empty bench next to your form before simply sitting down. There was a large gap between them, one reserved for you.
Your smile stretched wider as you took their silent offer of defeat and took a seat as well.
Gojo tensed when you leaned your head against his shoulder, a familiar melody leaving your lips. Suguru leaned his arms on his knees and listened to you, eyes closing with a tired sigh. Perhaps playing pretend was easier. Perhaps you were never meant to leave them in the first place. Maybe one day someone would free them from you, someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't ever going to be them.
You were back from the dead, and they figured it was better than you having left them for good.
If only they could ignore the mangled state of your body too.
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Alright, I'm sorry this took so long! I also don't think it's that good, but I hope you like it anyway, Flower Anon! I've been super busy with work and everything else going on in my life, so I'm glad to post anything at this point. Anyhow, thank you again for this great request!<33
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f1nalgirlz · 30 days
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Their favorite way to make you cum | Rory Characters
(not all characters, but if i missed some you want to see i'm open to doing a part 2) (stay safe!!)
warnings: NSFW!! mostly gender neutral reader, kinda ooc at times- let a guy dream ok? Mentions of: use of sex toys, penetrative sex, object insertion, fingering, thigh riding, dry humping, oral sex
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Kappa:
- using toys
- whether that be using them on you OR
- making you use them on yourself while he watches
- loves making you ride a dildo in front of him, he gets pleasure out of knowing he's not even touching you yet you still obey every word he says
- will edge you to make the whole experience last longer
- favorite part of his night tbh
- once he gets his fill of watching, will push you down and hammer the toy into you
- doesn't stop even after you cum, he loves overstimulating you
- again, prolonging the experience
- he's mean :( <3
Jack Thurlow:
- his dick :D
- a traditional man ...?
- it's such an ego boost for him, knowing you need no other stimulation to cum
- says stuff like "no one could fuck you better than me."
- when you agree bc he's fucking you so good, it's just stroking his ego further
- he can admit he's a little selfish as well
- not only is he giving you pleasure, he's getting it too.
- it's definitely a win-win for him
Charlie Walker:
- Charlie is pretty much willing and down to do anything for you
- he's absolutely obsessed with you so, duh
- nothing is off the table for him
- his favorite though, is with his fingers
- he adores watching you writhe under his touch, he loves watching you
- knowing he's able to make you cum with just his fingers is a delightful stroke to his ego
- he loves it in any position!!
- You're laying beneath him? Perfect. Straddling his lap on the couch, arms around his shoulders? Just as good. Strewn across his lap, while he's doing it? Amazing!
- and he's good at it too, so you ask him when you're in the mood for it
- and he eats it up every time.
Ollie Sway:
- similar to Kappa in that he likes using stuff on you, but it's not exactly a toy with him
- you guys got drunk together once and he ended up getting an idea
- he ended up fucking you with his empty beer bottle
- he was basically drooling at the sight and has been chasing that high ever since
- begging you every once in a while to let him try it again
- you comply on occasion, letting him get his fix, besides it's not like you don't like it.
Clyde:
- mostly non-penetrative stuff
- not that he doesn't LOVE the penetrative stuff, he absolutely does
- but there's just something about watching you rut against his knee, his hands guiding your hips to do so...
- especially if you guys have smoked a bit, it's so easy for him to sink back into the couch cushions, watching you lazily grind your hips against him
- it might seem a little lazy, and it really is
- but part of the reason it's his favorite way to get you off is how little effort he has to put in to make you finish
- at some point after one of your little sessions, he had a realization of "i can make them feel this good without having to do anything???" and just never looked back
- similar to Charlie, he just loves watching you.
- this isn't to say he can't/doesn't want to put in effort, this is simply his fav way
Danny Cooper:
- HEAD !!!!
- he loves going down on you, and could do so for hours
- and he has
- will eat it from any position
- he's just so good at it, he gets so immersed in what he's doing, soaking in every noise you let out.
- he'll be moaning softly whenever you tug him off by his hair because he's overstimulating you on accident :((
- stares up at you with teary blue eyes and a wet chin, silently asking why you'd interrupt him
- DROOLY BOY !!
- my puppy boy danny agenda >:)
- he loves looking up at you from between your legs, eyes watery from the way you tug his hair
- gets pussy/dick drunk and doesn't like to stop until he's had his fill (he'll stop the moment you ask him to ofc <3)
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zmb1eslut · 3 months
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Luke Castellan x hypnos!fem
tags: non-romantic relationship, fluff, Luke's pov.
summary: Luke Castellan was found by the way out his nightmares.
1,6k words
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Luke remembered it quite clearly, the night in which the whole... something between them came to be what is now.
He was sweaty and drained, being the only wishful thought he felt brave to feed, for the air to reach his lungs so he could run a little further. He had lost all his will, and he was now running on the only thing stronger than his determination, his fear.
Both Titan and kid could feel it, that night he was fated to succumb to the torture. His mind had already given its last pleadful breath when his foot tripped and his face met the floor. And he now cannot phantom the thought of how different his life would be if he hadn't lifted his head, she hadn't been there.
Luke saw her sitting, with a blank expression on her face, looking down at him. His hand reached for her never expecting to actually be aid, she took it and pulled him towards her. Once they were close to each other she said to him in a bizarrely sweet voice "Your screams were getting too loud". That was the last time the girl acknowledged his presence, as well as the last time he felt that sort of fear.
Somi kept rescuing him like that every night. She never explained why. Luke never asked her either. He would only sit there in what he guessed were the girl's own dreams, and wake up in the morning with just a thin grasp of the events.
Most things about the dreams (and the dreamer herself), were awfully confusing for the swordman-boy. He felt like she looked at reality with an eager infatuation, like she knew that guy better than the arbitrary rules that defined him ever could. Being inside her mind perhaps was making a number on him. Perhaps that's why she at some point stopped posing as the spacey buzzed girl everyone meditated with at times, and held herself in a homely sort of normality he developed a liking for.
She showed a part of her no one else ever saw. Altough it would probably be more precise to say she eventually stopped hiding it. Being honest with himself, Luke admitted that he toyed with the idea of him having found her.
She acted exasperated, bored, mean. She behaved like any person he would never mistake for her on the other world would behave. Their exchange right now was especially out of character.
She had entered his dream, as every night. She stepped in front of him and pushed his shoulders down, when he fell, he was met with the softness of a bed. Tonight's dream was apparently on a room. "Sorry for the mess." She said to the boy's surprise. He wasn't opposed to a change on their routine.
"Kinda used to it and all." he said. She answered with an understanding nod. "Did anything happen?" the Hermes boy asked just to keep this anomaly alive, to which she sighed.
"Evan just left." Curiosity flourished on the boy's throat.
"Like the real one?" the girl took way too long to answer and started stroking his hair while she thought.
"No... the dream one. But I'm pissed at him. And that's a naptime dream" she answered as if it was obvious. Even more questions arose, so she explained "Those are the dreams you aren't supposed to watch." Huh...
"What dreams I'm not supposed to watch?"
"You know, Castellan." she really meant it, he didn't had a clue. She got close to him to whisper teasingly, even knowing no one would really be able to hear. "The inappropriate ones" Oh.
He understood fast though, making sense of what teenager needs usually were. "I was naive on that one, wasn't I?"
"I mean..." she said chuckling while walking away from him. She sat down on a chair in front of a desktop. The place was humorously colorful.
"Ok. But like... Evan? Does that happen often?" He asked almost gossiply.
"I mean! Not anymore! He's a total prick." that made him laugh.
"Is he?" Luke asked, enjoying seeing her so annoyed, especially as he wasn't the cause.
"Yes. And you know what? I hate that, I hate this. Cause he goes around just getting the fuck he wants, and then pretends he 'didn't mean it like that'. Then I get mad, and he thinks I'm pretty when I'm mad, and I get pissed off when he says that, and then I'm horny when I'm pissed. And you know what? He doesn't deserve horny me." Sometimes she just was that unexpectedly honest. Luke just listened amused. She looked up and let out a frustrated groan. "And now I have to take care of you." That made him laugh, but he didn't want her to know that.
"C'mon I'm not that difficult" he pretended to be offended.
"No. But right now you're truly inconvenient" He put his hands up in the air as his sign of surrender before laying down in the bed. She stayed silent for a minute and Luke almost thought they went back to normal. The girl usually was quiet and still, looking lost into the air, or, only the contrary, highly invested in a task and barely paying him attention. Now she was neither, the chair was slowly spinning with her wearing a childish expression. She controlled every aspect of every scenario he had observed, and even when she didn't feel like going strong at it, she would prove her domain by popping something for him to distract himself. He took note of that when he saw a ray of sunlight entering the window, leaving a path she was now following in his direction. She was standing in front of the side of the bed again. "Sit." she said, way too used to having control over here. And, listen, he wasn't about to oppose an emotional all powerful being. Once he stood straight, she st looking taller than him, barely. She supported her arms on the top of his head. And sighed again. "I hate men".
"Oh, they are terrible" he teased.
She stayed silent for a bit, he was just being used as a table. Then he heard her. "What do you think about... weird". He understood perfectly.
"I've met so many demi kids, that word just simply lost meaning at some point"
"Ok, then..." she took a step back and looked at him now, lowering her head a bit. "do you consider me pretty?" He took a second to look at her, then shrugged and nodded. "Great then... tell me when to stop." She said while sitting on his lap, with both her legs at his left side, and reaching for his left hand. The girl held it against her face and started nuzzling against him. He couldn't ignore the thought that her actions weren't sexy at all, not as much as they were needy. She was like a cat looking for attention, and he truly didn't mind. He lifted his right hand to caress her hair, and she gave in to the touch. She had closed her eyes and moved the hand of her face down to her outer thigh.
His strong hand gripped her skin, almost performatively. He flirted using a lower voice. "What do you want?" his nose under her jaw, his breath against her neck.
The answer came only with her voice, as she didn't even bother to open her eyes or explore his touch. "I'll let you know when you're doing it wrong." Moody, bossy, and assertive. This was not more than a game for them. This was just a caprice. What is wrong with wanting things that feel right?
The girl held onto his left bicep and hid her face on his neck. They just stayed like that for a couple minutes. Somi hiding on his arms when Luke faintly felt the scent of her hair.
"Why did you rescue me?" wasn't enough to disrupt the comfortability of their scene.
"I already told you why."
"I wasn't screaming tonight."
Then the silence prolonged itself for longer than he would have chosen. The girl just gently pushed his body with hers, making them lay on the bed, side by side, looking into the ceiling.
"We... don't really know each other." He agreed with the sentiment on silence. "But, we both have been here for years so I know you know me." Of course he did. "And everybody knows you." He felt like he didn't quite know what she meant by it. "Luke 'the greatest swordsman in the last 300 years' Castellan, a born leader whose smile has infatuated half our population of half-bloods, who is always there to help when someone gets hurt."
Luke analyzed those words for a couple of seconds. Apparently not enough seconds. "Do you... like me?" She laughed.
"I don't mean it like that!" She then took a pause and moved her head to look at him, he followed. "What I'm trying to say is. There are so many children looking up to you, learning from your effort, going to sleep smiling because they know you'll be there to protect them, and when they fail... you don't make them feel like they failed you. I guess for a second I realized how much our spirit was relying on you. I thought maybe you needed someone to rely on too. I'm sorry if I'm making it awkward now." He didn't know how to answer, her eyes on his were feeling heavy for a second so he escaped by closing them. He didn't know how to answer so he just breathed and hugged her, hoping she wouldn't tease him about his heart rate. She didn't. She hugged him back.
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Buck & Eddie: Buck died for three minutes and seventeen seconds!
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In 6x12, Eddie told Buck, “You died, Buck!” but Maddie told him, “Buck, you died” and Bobby said the same thing in 6x15 during Buck’s performance review (related post linked here).
Was Buck dying a huge deal?  YES!  And apparently, it affected everyone but Buck.  Eddie cried in Buck’s hospital room, Chris asked him to come back, Maddie cried, Bobby kept vigil by Buck’s bedside with his rosary beads, Athena knew the effect his death would have on her husband because he sees Buck as a son and she told him to “Wake up damn it”.  Chimney cried, Hen did too and May was worried about the effect Buck’s death would have on Bobby just like Athena was worried.  Chimney told Albert they had to take Margaret out because she was hysterical but the audience didn’t see her cry like we did everyone in Buck’s found family and I believe that was on purpose (post linked here).
Now, onto 7x1 where Buck told Eddie that he broke up with Natalia because all she talked about was death and he’s not sure why he thought dating her was a good idea (neither did the audience but ok, that was the decision that was made so there’s nothing that can be done about it).  TM (showrunner) said in a recent interview, Buck was tired of talking about his "death" and he’s ready to find happiness.  If that’s true, then great but if he’s really moved on from it, why didn’t anyone including Eddie, who knows Buck to his core (RG's words) see the growth? Reminder, Eddie's response to Buck's breakup was, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Buck. You were truly missed."
The timeline for last night’s episode was so messed up that it was hard to make heads or tails of anything.  Bobby initially bought their cruise tickets in 5x18 but their trip got postponed at the end of 6x1 since Athena's father had a stroke. It begs the question did those tickets get refunded and he purchased new ones because Athena told Frank, two months before they left on their cruise, which happened a year after the bridge collapse 🤷🏽‍♀️that Bobby bought the tickets a week ago, so who knows what time period it is in this realm or wherever they’re in right now.  The way things played out, dare I say it but it kind of seems like they’re all still living in Buck’s coma dream but hey, maybe it’s being done on purpose.
Back to the regularly scheduled program…
Reminder, Buck died!  And according to Eddie, he was dead for three minutes and seventeen seconds.  He was literally dead and even though Chimney worked on Buck for three minutes, he couldn’t restart Buck’s heart, only Eddie could and the last seventeen seconds was all him!
These things happened and they’re important but for some reason, Buck’s death along with everything else that happened to him in season 6 are being treated like they didn’t happen or as if they were of no consequence.  In 6x12, Dr. Salazar told Buck that people who have near death experiences either go back to their lives like nothing’s changed or they make a drastic change and quit their jobs, divorce their spouses or they go to Italy.
Well… Buck’s done NEITHER of those things since he’s still doing the same job and he didn’t do anything drastic like move out of the loft or something, just anything other than saying and proclaiming he's happy now all of a sudden.  Him breaking up with Natalia wasn’t drastic since he broke up with Taylor in season 5. It would have been different if it had been his first time choosing something for himself but it wasn't.
IMO, the way his death is being glossed over makes it seem like there’s something else that could happen with Buck after 7x6 airs.  Reminder, there will be a mini hiatus just like there was between 6x12 and 6x13 and everyone should remember the drastic change that took place then.  Buddie and the Buckley-Diaz family were prominent more than any other ship in that episode.  Now, be clear, I’m not saying Buck will have a breakdown (even though he's overdue to have one and him crying over Eddie being shot is not the same thing) but I will say he’s headed for a storm.  Also, his life is paralleling Eddie’s after the shooting and to me it seems off because Buck’s happy but no one knows why or how he got there.  It appears he’s hiding how he truly feels the same way Eddie did before he started panicking followed by his breakdown.  Additionally, it appears Buck’s continuing to parallel Athena’s arc for this season too and if he is then, his fear or whatever has him “terrified” will come into play later in the season (post about Bathena and Buddie parallels linked here).
I fully understand the show only has so much “real estate” per episode, as TM described it but in season 6 (which I know should be a distant memory by now for a lot of reasons), the audience only SAW Buck start things but there wasn’t any resolution to any of them. THEY WERE ALL UNFINISHED BY THE END OF 6X18.
In 6x1, he wanted to be interim captain but that storyline fell off a cliff and wasn’t revisited.
In 6x2, he wanted to be happy and apparently, according to OS and TM, this season he’ll be going after the things that make him happy but NO ONE BUT BUCK knows what those things are.
In 6x4, he thought long and hard about being Connor’s sperm donor but there were two things he said that were left unfinished and unresolved.
When he was at Hen’s house, he told her he didn’t want to turn them down but he never said why.
At the end of the episode, he told Connor and Kameron he didn’t know what he wanted (I still think that was a lie but I digress) but he was willing to give them what they wanted.
The audience doesn’t know why Buck didn’t want to turn them down and if he would have said why, there wouldn't be an issue. Also, he never explained what he wants but I suppose the audience is just supposed to forget all about those two important factors and move on the way Buck has.  As a viewer, wanting answers to close main characters' storylines is a fair request since we’ve all seen Buck repeat the same mistakes and remain on the hamster wheel (OS’s words) for the last three years with no resolution.
In 6x7, he was adamant about donating even though the universe kept screaming at him not to do it and it went so far as to stop his Jeep on the street but he ran there anyway.  Also, only him and Eddie touched the cursed bracelet during that episode but nothing came of that either.
In 6x9, he told the team he was the creator of new life and he had a onesie on the nightstand with an LAFD logo on it but that too went absolutely nowhere (posts linked here and here).
In 6x10, he died!  But also, before he did, he talked a lot about family but no one knows if he wants his own family or if he’s happy with his biological or found or both.
In 6x11, he was in a coma for most of the episode where it was all about him (he was making things about himself again like everyone has told him he does) but when he woke up, he told Bobby there was one thing he couldn’t fix while he was in it but since he didn’t say it, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS.
In 6x12, when Eddie asked him if could ask him how he was, Buck replied, “Honestly Eddie… I don’t know”; well, since he didn't say it, neither does the audience.  Also, he went to Maddie’s and told her about his coma dream but the only part the audience heard was that it was never nighttime and the first thing he does when he wakes up is text Bobby.
In 6x13, he knew how to do math and his life appeared to be going where he wanted it to but then, 6x14 happened and his math powers were gone.
In 6x15, aside from meeting the DeAtH dOuLA and telling her about his dream (which the audience didn’t hear then either), he told Eddie while they were in the cemetery, “The truth is… I am different but I feel like I have to be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else”.  Is he still being the same old Buck now?  Who knows?
From 6x16 through 6x18, Buck was still acting like the same old Buck then he ended the season in another lackluster boring relationship with someone who he believed SAW him but everyone knows she didn’t see $hit.
Now here’s my main issue and please don’t misunderstand me.  If Buck’s all great and happy, FINE but it’s hard to correlate his new found happiness with everything he’s been through especially since the audience didn’t get to see his journey.  He’s not in therapy and he’s not reading self-help books or whatever anymore so how did he get from point A to point B? Inquiring minds would like to know.
Since the audience remains in the dark, are we supposed to just accept him saying he’s better?  I’m not buying that snake oil they’re selling and my reasoning for it is based on two things.  First, Buck identifies himself as a firefighter but that wasn’t addressed before season 6 ended because IMO it tied in with everything else he experienced.  Also, Buck’s actions in the promos and trailers make it seem like he’s hesitant about something regarding his job.  Could the narrative change?  ABSOLUTELY but if it doesn’t, no one knows if he is or isn’t still struggling.
Reminder, Buck broke up with Natalia but Eddie didn’t know and why is that? Their lack of communication could be due to the wacky time jumps or the miscalculation of them but in any event, they hadn't discussed it even though they're working together again. In 7x1, they kept showing how close they are but there’s obviously some things they still haven’t discussed including Buck’s death.  Please note, Buck is once again paralleling Athena since there’s something she hasn’t told Bobby too. They're both not saying the stuff they should be and if they continue to parallel then all should be revealed soon.
This post is simply to highlight the fact that Buck took another journey but once again, the audience has NO IDEA how he got there just like at the end of season 5 when he finally ended things with Taylor.  Sure he broke up with her but he didn’t do it because he was unhappy, he did it because she did something he probably knew she would do anyway especially since she betrayed the 118 and Bobby in 2x6 so what exactly is the audience supposed to believe?  He’s changed even though we didn’t see it?  I call BS and I think TM is lying just like he did about Eddie’s PTSD.  He said Eddie wouldn’t go through it but a few months later he did and it was important to his healing.
Will anything come of all the things Buck experienced in season 6?  Who knows but apparently the audience is just supposed to roll with the idea that he’s 100% better even though we didn’t see any of it.  Reminder, we saw everyone else’s journey and how they clawed their way back after their breakdowns, i.e., Eddie’s, Maddie’s, Athena’s, Chimney’s and even Bobby’s after he had two, one in 2x16 and one in season 1 after the plane crash but we’re supposed to accept the fact that Evan “Please don’t leave me, I make things about me and I like to fix things” “Buck” Buckley is ok?  NOPE!  I’m not buying it.
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fayes-fics · 2 years
Text
Temptation
Pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: Benedict gets caught masturbating.
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, masturbation, dirty thoughts, innocence kink, lil bit of virginity kink, dirty(ish) talk, sex education, fingerfucking.
Word Count: 3.7k
Authors Note: This is an anonymous request fill here (request: Can I request benedict jacking off to thoughts of the reader? Maybe they are at a ball, and he cannot take it anymore and needs the release. I need to know what he dreams about when he does it. And maybe the reader finds him and just watches him until she can't take it anymore and just goes in, and they fuck). Nonny, I changed this up a little and didn't have them fucking, but there’s talk of it. Hope that is OK, it worked better for the story my muse decided upon. <3 Thanks as ever to the awesome @makaylan for the beta.
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His hand runs up your arm and then back down as you both follow the steps of the dance. He isn’t wearing gloves, and you can feel the warmth of his skin through your lightweight silk ones. As you whirl around, you hold his gaze, hypnotised by his eyes. The song ends, he gives you a little bow, and you go your separate ways. Your fingers itch to grab him and keep him dancing—all night. He is the only one you are interested in.
It’s been two months since, and every ball is the same. You dance as much as possible with him, as much as polite society allows. Secretly you just want to follow him somewhere private and do what you once saw two servants doing on the grounds of your family estate. Sex, you heard them call it afterwards. It looked wonderful. 
You feel a strange pulsing sensation in your underwear whenever he holds you during a dance. It’s hot and insistent—almost an ache. You may not have been properly informed about relations between a man and a woman, but even you can figure out it has something to do with what you saw in those gardens. You could see their bodies connected right where you feel the most excited when you look at one Benedict Bridgerton. Logical conclusion—you want to have sex with him.
Tonight is the Bridgerton Ball, and it’s your last dance with Benedict for the night. His hands are firm on you as you dance; you stand a little too close.
“Mr Bridgerton,” you whisper close to his ear, “I think I want to have sex with you.”
He stumbles and steps on your toe.
“Oww!”
“Sorry,” he fumbles. “Do you know of what you speak?” his voice shocked.
“Yes, I've seen it,” you reply confidently.
“Seen it?” he sounds winded.
“I saw some servants in the garden once, their bodies were joined together, and they were so happy they were screaming. When you hold me, I feel an ache where they were joined.”
“Jesus Christ…” he mutters heavily.
“I… I assume that means I want sex with you, no?” you suddenly hesitate, wondering if your conclusions are somehow wrong.
“That is… not wrong”, he answers slowly, his face both pained and pleasured, “but it’s not something we can do.”
“Why not?” you are curious.
“They really never teach you anything, do they?” he sighs, disbelieving. “For ladies of good society, such as yourself, it should only happen when you are married,” he explains.
“But why?”
“Because what you saw is designed for people to create babies,” he tutors quietly as you move around the dancefloor.
It's your turn to look absolutely shocked. You had no idea. “But wait, that servant is not with child. So how can it be only for having babies?”
“It's not only for making babies; it can be for pleasure too,” he admits.
“Then let's do that,” you argue. 
Benedict groans lightly, and his fingers flex against your back where he holds you.
“Miss Y/l/n please….” he is breathing a little heavy, “don't.”
You pout at him as the song ends. “Do you not want to?”
He makes a strangled noise in his throat. “God, yes I do,” he closes his eyes as if injured, “but we should not, not yet at least. Now please go, enjoy your evening.” 
He gives you a brief respectful bow, and you lightly curtsy on instinct. Then he is gone, hurrying away from you as if burned, holding his hands in front of himself somewhat awkwardly.
You chew your lip and wonder what on earth made him so rattled that he had to run away.
——
He needs to get away from you, fast, before he does something he regrets and brings shame on you both. And to deal with the insistent bulge in his trousers. 
He stalks out of the ballroom, trying to hide the evidence of his desire from all of the guests and rushes down the hall into the library. It's quiet save the crackling fire, and he closes the door and exhales gustily while leaning his forehead against its solid wood. He honestly doesn't know what to do about you. He plans to ask for your hand, but if you keep unintentionally teasing him like this, he's not sure he can do the honourable thing and wait until you are married. He wants you so much he can taste it, a metallic desire rolling on his tongue every time you meet his gaze.
He knows there's nothing else to be done; he needs to have a release before he can rejoin the evening's festivities, before he can dare set eyes on you again. Whilst there is no lock on the door of this room, he feels safe enough here; no one will enter this private wing of the house during the ball. So he stalks over to a comfortable chair and sits down, releasing just enough buttons on his trousers to free himself. He fists his cock and closes his eyes, already knowing his thoughts will be of you.
——
You cry off the next person on your dance card, claiming to feel lightheaded, and head out the same door you saw him leave. You want to know why he left so suddenly; you want to talk to him more about sex. It seems he is the only person willing to be honest with you about it, and you have many more questions.
You approach a doorman standing near the private wing of the house, there to keep the guests within the ballroom area. 
“Mr Benedict Bridgerton, he went this way, yes?” you ask sweetly, “he dropped something that looks valuable, and I want to ensure it is returned to him” - a little lie.
“Yes, ma’am, I believe he went into the library, third door on your right,” he smirks a little too knowingly and steps aside.
——
He thinks of your lips, the way they move when you talk to him. All he can see is them repeatedly forming the word ‘sex’. Fuck, you almost killed him tonight. All wide-eyed and enthusiastic, practically begging him to fuck you, take your maidenhead. He didn't think he had a thing for virginity in the slightest, but the thought of taking you, being the first to take you - the only one ever, if he gets his way - has him hurtling so fast towards climax he groans.
He thinks of your body, the way your breasts heave from the exertion of dancing. The way it feels pressed up against him when you dance. How he can't wait to find out how you look under your dress, caress your skin, run his hands over you. Wants to know how you smell, how you taste. His hand speeds up as he thinks of what you said earlier. That made him stumble. How you ache for him between your legs. Oh fuck, he leaks a little from the tip as he recalls it. Another moan, unbidden.
——
Silently you turn the door handle to the room and peak in. You see a roaring fire and a couple of candles casting dancing shadows across floor-to-ceiling rows of books; the room looks like somewhere you want to curl up. 
Then you hear a moan - a very male, very hungry moan. It doesn't sound dissimilar to the noises those servants made. Instantly you feel a tightening in your chest, your nipples turning to stiff peaks, and between your legs is a throb. That sound, oh god, that sound is so wonderful to you. 
You open the door a little more and slip in silently, closing it behind you. Curiosity and cats come to mind, but if that noise was Benedict, you’ll take the chance. It's now you see him. Or rather part of him, in profile. He's sat slightly out of sight behind a drinks trolley, but you can see enough. You can see his handsome face in profile, eyes screwed tightly closed and head thrown back, his legs sprawled out in front of him, knees far apart. Partially obscured, you can see his arm making rapid movements, his hand in his lap. 
You tiptoe forward until you have a better vantage point, hopefully still unseen. Now you can see his lap and what he is doing to himself. He has his trousers undone and is holding something you have never seen before. It looks just like the body part the male servant had inside the female servant. Oh god. Oh yes. It looks fascinating and wonderful.
“Y/n”, he moans, and you feel lightheaded. 
He is touching himself where people are joined during sex and saying your name. The throbbing between your legs becomes so strong, and you feel a flood of moisture down your inner thighs. Good god, what is he doing to you? What is he doing to himself? You can't look away.
——
His thoughts are a jumble now. You, your lips, the words ‘sex’ and ‘I ache for you’ swirling around in a delightful elixir. Then it all coalesces into a striking tableau - you walking into the room right now and pulling up your dress, no underwear, and sinking onto his cock. Thanking him for stopping the ache, begging him to ensure it never returns by always fucking you. Always. He is partially abhorred with himself by how vivid the picture is, but also so rock hard and desperate he doesn't want the image to fade. He wants you so much, right here, right now.
He moans your name again; his eyes screwed tightly shut.
“Benedict” it’s a gentle, breathy pleading noise from nearby. My god, your voice in his fantasies has never sounded so real before.
_____
Unconsciously you have been moving forward towards him, pulled like a magnet, silently crossing the room on the thick woollen rug, your eyes never leaving him. You are fascinated, your skin hums like during an electric storm, and your lungs feel tight. You long to rip off your corset. You long even more to touch the ache you feel between your legs; it's almost painful now.
You sink to your knees before him when you reach within a couple of feet. You don't even know why, but it's what your body tells you to do. Sitting back on your haunches, you are staring at his hand, the leaking red member he holds. You long to touch it.
And when he groans your name again, you don't even realise it, but you call out his first name in response.
It's then his eyes fly open.
“FUCK!!” it’s a shocked shout, the ferocity making you jump. Benedict leans forward and fumbles to hide himself away, to obscure the sight you have been enjoying so much. “My god, y/n, what are you doing here?” he seems flustered, red-faced, almost angry, using your first name.
“Please don't stop what you were doing,” you plead, “I want to keep watching you.”
His mouth drops open at your confession. “How long have you been here?”
“A minute or two,” you shrug, trying to be nonchalant, hoping it will make him continue.
His cheeks instantly redden, and he points at the door. “Please leave”, his voice wavering.
“Benedict,” you implore, your voice breathy, “please don't, don't send me away.”
He makes a pained sound and rubs a hand over his face, the other still trying to hide his lap.
“Please, I… I ache for you, my thighs are sticky, and I can't look away,” you shudder.
He groans so loudly. “Don't…. Just don't,” he looks like he is shaking now. “My honour is hanging by a thread here, and you are telling me these things. It makes me want to….”
You inhale sharply. “Yes, tell me, tell me what you want to do. Please, please, sir.”
“Fucking helllllll,” his Adam's apple bobs harshly, and he shuts his eyes. “Don't call me sir, for fucks sake, please just don't….”
“Why not” a sudden hot feeling slides down your spine as you realise what he wants is the exact opposite of what he is saying. “I want to, sir. I want to watch you, sir. I want to touch you, sir” You can’t stop, a smirk forming on your face as you realise your power over this man. Honour be damned, Benedict Bridgerton.
His eyes open, and they blaze at you. Your breath is stolen. 
“Stand up.” Something in his short tone warrants no argument. You find yourself doing as told.
“If you don't want to marry me, turn around and walk out of that door.” His voice is steely.
You don’t move.
“If you want to marry me, pull up your dress. Right now,” he orders.
You scramble to obey, reaching down and pulling the hem of your dress up above your knees.
“Higher”, he commands, “show me where you ache.”
You tremble and feel the warmth from the fire, glazing the wetness between your thighs as you gather your dress around your waist.
He growls at the sight and leans back, his hands resting high on his thighs, his cock standing proud.
“You want to watch me, future wife?” he challenges.
You love that phrase. “Yes, husband”, you coo, not even bothering with the future part. You are his. 
“Move closer”, he beckons with a movement of his head.
You step between his splayed knees.
“Do you want a preview of our life together?” he asks richly; you notice his hand has wrapped around himself again.
“Yes… yes, please, husband,” it's a pleading whisper.
“Straddle my lap”, he instructs, and you do so. He brings his legs closer together. “Sit on my legs.” You lower yourself down.
“I'm not going to have sex with you, not yet,” he says, his voice low, “but I'm going to teach you some things.”
You smile enthusiastically.
“You see this,” he nods down at his lap, “this is my cock.”
“It goes inside me, yes?” you whisper.
“Fuck,” he mutters, then exhales, briefly closing his eyes. “Yes, it does,” he replies after a short pause. “But not today, once we are married, yes.”
His other hand travels up your thigh, over your stockings and bare flesh. He stops when his fingers meet the junction of your legs.
“Have you ever touched yourself here?” he asks quietly, running his fingertips into your patch of hair, his other hand squeezing himself gently.
“No,” you respond honestly, “should I?”
“Yes, you should, when you are alone in private or with me. It should feel pleasurable - like this.”
You feel his finger slip lower and inhale tremulously, your hips canting towards him. He's hit something that feels so wonderful that you are already breathing uneven.
“God, you are soaked”, he stutters, his finger starting to move in slow circles. 
Your hands lean backwards and grip his knees behind you, needing something to hold onto. You close your eyes and bite your lip, pressing down onto his touch.
“Does that feel good?” his voice silky.
“Yes, husband,” you chant, “Please don't stop.”
“Open your eyes,” he says softly, “watch me.”
As his finger keeps circling your bud, your gaze falls back to his lap. To his cock in his hand, the tip leaking slightly as he slowly moves his fisted grip up and down.
“Can I do that for you?” you inquire, panting gently, your attention wrapt on his movements, pressing against his finger.
“Yes, you can. I will teach you one day,” he assures, “are you ready for a little more, my wife-to-be?”
“Yes,” you assert.
He twists his hand so his thumb now rubs that special spot, and his fingers furrow backwards between your legs. You shudder as he slowly breaches your body with one finger, just a fraction.
“Oh fuck, you are so tight,” he says, almost pained. You watch as his cock leaks even more fluid over his knuckles.
“I'm sorry, husband”, you respond on instinct, feeling you have let him down somehow, “is that a bad thing?”
“No, no, my love,” the term of affection naturally rolling off his tongue, “it's a lovely thing. I will just have to take special care with you on our wedding night” he exhales gustily and pushes his finger in a little further. “How does it feel with just my finger inside you?” he asks.
“Strange but very nice”, you reply honestly, looking between the hand on his cock and the hand you see between your legs.
“Well, it may hurt when I put my cock inside you, but only briefly, I promise you, then you will feel wonderful,” he reassures.
“Why can you not do that now?” you gasp as he slowly moves the finger in and out of your body.
“That is not right and proper for you”, he argues, but his voice wavers as he pumps himself a little harder.
“I don't want right and proper; I want you,” you pout.
“Say that again,” he stutters, gripping himself firmer, “the last part.”
“I want you,” you repeat, then moan as he adds a second finger inside you.
“Yes, my love,” he growls, as his hand on his cock speeds up, “tell me what you want when we are married.”
“I want to have sex with you,” you answer between breaths as his fingers do magical things to your body, moving faster now. You hear wet, squelching noises coming from between your legs.
“Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he orders through gritted teeth.
“I want you to fuck me, Benedict, my husband,” you say clearly, meeting his burning gaze. Then he moves the fingers inside you forward, dragging against your insides, and you have to throw your head back and moan loudly at the sensations building in your body.
“Yessssssss”, he hisses, “that's it, moan for me, my love.”
“Say my name again,” he requests urgently, his fingers inside you pressing harder and harder, his thumb hooked around your bud.
You do so, and suddenly, his groan becomes a long, insistent sound, and he pulls faster on his cock. You feel a splash of something warm on your lower belly, dripping into your pubic hair. You look down and see his cock is spouting fluid onto you.
“Benedict, are you ok?” you are concerned; it looks painful, and he appears to be shuddering all over.
After a few heavy breaths, he laughs.  “I am more than okay, y/n,” he promises, his voice shaky. “That was me spending my seed, my love; that is how you come to be with child - when I do that inside you,” he explains. “Now, do you want to know how you will feel when that happens?” his voice a warm rumble.
“Yes,” you answer as you feel his fingers - that had gone dormant inside you as he released - start to move again.
“Put your hands on my shoulders”, he requests. When you do as asked, he leans forward and captures your lips on his. 
You realise you have never even so much as kissed yet. It feels wonderful, and as his tongue insistently parts your lips, you pull closer to him, causing his fingers to sink deeper into you, and you moan into his mouth. 
“That’s it, my love, lean into me.” he encourages.
Hesitantly you pull up slightly as you kiss each other's faces, then sink down a little, allowing his fingers to slide much deeper into you.
“Are you fucking yourself on my fingers, future wife?” he rumbles, impressed, close to your ear.
“Yesss”, you confide abashed, a shiver running down your spine from his tone and pulses of warmth radiating out from the insistent movement of his fingers. Your nipples rasp heavily against your chemise. “Should I not?”
“Oh, you absolutely should. Don't stop on my account,” he murmurs, holding his wrist steady but adding a third finger and making you cry out at the stretch. “Well done, love; look at you taking so much of me.”
You blossom under his praise, grasp his shoulders and ride harder, watching him watch you, his face a handsome smirk as he presses his thumb against your clit. The breathless feeling isn't from exertion but something unfurling deep inside you. You bite your lip and rub yourself harder against his thumb, realising so much of your need is focused right there. 
“That's it,” he encourages, “chase that feeling.”
He leans forward again and kisses you deeply, invading your mouth and stealing your breath. As he pulls back, you feel a flutter growing into something else—deep spasms as you burn white hot around his fingers.
“Benedict, what is happening?” you gasp, grinding hard against his hand, feeling your body release all over his fingers.
“Oh yes. You are coming, my love,” he coos, “don’t stop, keep going.”
You pant and close your eyes as waves of bliss erupt from your core and fan out over your body.
“That's it, that's how you will feel” Benedict's voice is there but sounds far away as the blood rushes in your ears and your heart pounds. Your whole body convulses, and your skin tingles.
After what seems like ages, the intensity fades, and you collapse against him, shaking, burying your nose into his neck as he chuckles and slowly withdraws his hand.
“How do you feel?” he asks as you feel him stroking your hair, an affectionate gesture.
“Wonderful,” you sigh and lift your head. “How soon can we get married?”
“We could leave for Gretna Green before sunrise,” he jests with a chuckle. “But our families would likely never forgive us, so we should probably wait and do things properly.”
“Mmm tempting, Mr Bridgerton, very tempting,” you reply and steal another kiss. “But you’re right. So I suppose you’ll have to teach me a few more things until then.” You smirk at him.
“Indeed, my love,” he runs his fingers over your face, his thumb catching in the corner of your mouth. “Next time, I’ll show you what you can do with your mouth,” his voice a silky whisper, “and what I can do with mine.”
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EDIT: This fic now has a follow on series, Innocence
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @wysteria-clad @kkpolakow @colettebronte @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001
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lilspacewolfie · 3 months
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would it be possible to do a cardinal copia x reader first date but the day of the date copia ends up forgetting due to a stressful day, and expects them to be mad but ends up telling copia its ok and ends with them cuddling copia and making sure he gets a good night sleep.
Thank you for being my first request! I really hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it! <3
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Content: 1.6k words, gn!reader, very little description to keep it as gender-neutral as possible, soft copia, failed date, sweet ending, just all around very soft and fluffy, no beta we die like nihil!
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The little Italian place in town is quaint and surprisingly busy given its midweek. It’s a small hole in the wall, cramped but lively, with beautifully arched windows and candles dotting each table that give off a warm, intimate ambience. 
Arranging a date with Copia had proven to be tougher than expected with both of your busy schedules. But when you managed to figure out the time, Copia had insisted on this place.  
You arrived early—about thirty minutes to be exact, not wanting to be late for your first date. You’ve gotten all dressed up and probably spent a little more on a new outfit than is warranted for a first date, but you want to make a good impression. 
There’s faint music playing above you, slow and swaying. You try not to think about how long you’ve been sitting there, growing increasingly more awkward as the minutes tick by. When you finally do give in and pull out your phone to check the time, you can’t help but feel a bit troubled. It’s close to seven. Anxiety rolls through you like a storm cloud and you swallow, debating on sending him a message. You had agreed to meet at six so you could eat, and then have enough time to take a casual stroll to the Ministry together. You had hoped to enjoy the spring air, but now that's starting to feel like a dream that sadly won't come true. 
You slip your phone back into your pocket and lean on a fist, drumming your fingers anxiously atop the red and white check tablecloth. It’s probably nothing, he’s a busy man, after all. Maybe he just got held up with some last-minute things. So then why hasn’t he texted? 
Copia is the last man you would expect to stand anyone up without reason, and you know he would alert you if he was running late. He’s sweet and thoughtful—you’ve been with him for long enough to gather that he’s one to commit a bit of self-flagellation when he thinks he’s messed up. 
Around you, couples cosy up and laugh, sip wine together and indulge in the restaurant's luscious food that smells divine. Your jealous stomach growls and you swallow thickly when the waitress approaches you for the second time that evening. You can see on her face that she’s hesitant to ask if you’re ready to order, and there’s something akin to pity in her eyes. Not that you need it. 
You’re staring at the rose in the little red vase on the table when she asks: “Are you ready to order?” 
Maybe he isn’t coming. Maybe he forgot? No, no, that's a stupid thought. Even Copia would tell you that himself. You’re a priority to him. 
An idea hits you. 
“Actually,” you say, turning over your laminated menu, “I think I am.”
She smiles, pulling out a little flip book and a pen. 
The Ministry is quiet when you make it back, carrying hot, precious cargo in a white paper bag. Your footfalls echo on the marble floor as you traverse the old halls, passing preserved paintings, stone statues of your Dark Lord and stained glass windows that bathe the halls in colour even at night. 
You know where Copia’s office is located, near Imperators just down the hall, and so you make your way over. When you get there the hallway is darkened, but you see exactly what you expected. His door is closed and there’s a thin slither of light spilling from beneath onto the oak flooring. So, he has been held up. 
When you knock, loud enough to be heard but receive no response, worry sits heavy in your chest. You knock again and wait, but still, there’s no response. Your gaze falls to the brass doorknob which you grasp and turn, the door creaking a bit when it’s open. 
Inside is warm, the light from the beautiful Tiffany-styled lamp bathing the room in a cosy orange. His desk is at the far end in front of a massive arched window and there’s a stack of papers on his desk. When you do finally see him, you’re suddenly not vexed or hurt anymore. In fact, you have to bite your lip to keep from giggling. 
Copia is snoring softly, slumped over his old desk with his pen still balanced in hand. He looks so peaceful that you don’t want to wake him, but you know his back and shoulders won’t be thanking him tomorrow if you don’t. 
Carefully you close the door, tiptoe over to the front of his desk and set the paper takeaway bag on the chair. When you round to his side and get a good look at him, you bite your lip again and something uncoils in your chest. The black paint around his eyes is a bit smudged and his handsome face is picturesque, the wrinkles across his forehead softened by the light. 
You touch his arm first, squeezing and rubbing his bicep through his red cassock. You rest your other hand on his wild, mousy brown hair that's sticking up and stroke it down gently. 
“Copia?” You whisper, shaking him a bit. 
He stirs, inhaling and stiffening before his mismatched eyes blink open. He’s awake in an instant, flustered and a bit out of it, and you step back to let him get his bearings. 
“Amore?” He blinks at you a few times, forcing himself to sit up in his leather desk chair. He glances at the clock above the door, then at you, then back at your clothes and his shoulders slump. You watch the horror and recognition play across his face.  
“Oh, cazzo,” he swears quietly, scrubbing a hand over his face, as he looks back up at you with big, glossy eyes. “Amore, perdonami, ti prego… I… Sister wanted me to finish some last minute things and I must’ve fallen asleep and—merda…” he says, anguished. 
“Copia, shh, it’s okay,” you soothe, taking his face in your hands and stroking your thumbs across the hair of his sideburns. He leans into your hold, wide-eyed. You shake your head, smiling and he deflates, pressing one of his leather-clad hands to yours on his face. 
“But you got all dressed up and—“
“It’s okay,” you say again and you think he might actually start crying, but you’re not about to let him catch the self-flagellation train tonight. 
“I’m so sorry, amore,” he whispers again, sadly. 
“Don’t apologise,” you chide gently, “you’re tired. It’s okay. I figured something was wrong when you didn’t show. Don’t be sorry, I know Imperator has been hard on you lately.”
He winces a bit, but you lean in and kiss him tenderly, soothing his hurt like balm on a stinging wound. He relents, stroking his thumb over your knuckles, and when you pull away he sighs. You know he’ll feel awful about this for a while, but at least you might be able to help him feel less bad. 
“I brought takeout,” you flick your eyes to the paper bag, pulling back. Copia follows, taking one of your hands and you help pull him to his feet. 
He groans, and winces again, muttering a few choice swears that make you giggle. When he looks you up and down with a new form of clarity that isn’t veiled by torment, his expression relaxes. 
“Sei bellissima, amore mio.”
You lean in and press your mouth to his, brief and chaste and Copia hums, wrapping you up in his arms for a proper hug.
You take dinner back to his room, letting the relaxed atmosphere carry you both into its sweet lull. 
You borrow one of Copia’s shirts and his many tracksuit bottoms to change into while he freshens up and scrubs the paint from his face. When you’re both done, you pop Bram Stroker’s Dracula on low in the background. You lounge together on his bed, munching on the takeout pasta and drinking the wine Copia had intended to give you at the restaurant. Every time he attempts to apologise for missing your date, you silence him with another sweet kiss that tastes of wine and creamy pasta sauce, watching him blush sweetly. 
By the time you’re both finished, bellies full and thoroughly warmed from the wine, you’re both too exhausted and comfortable to move. 
Copia’s flush to your side curled around you with his head on your shoulder while you play with his soft hair. You press the occasional kiss to his temple, smelling his zesty shower cream and the heady wine on his breath. You watch, quietly amused, as he tries to focus on the movie, blinking hard and forcing his eyes to stay open. You love it when he’s like this, vulnerable and sleep-warm. You don’t need a fancy restaurant. This is perfect.
“Sleep if you want,” you tell him, trailing your fingers lazily up and down his bicep. 
“Are you sure?” He mutters guiltily, lifting his eyes to yours. There's still small flecks of black around his eyes that never seem to leave. He looks adorable and exhausted. You gently wipe away the smudge of black on the tip of his freckled nose.
“Of course,” you smile at him. “You had a long day, Satan knows you need it.” 
Copia turns his face and kisses the skin of your collarbone, adjusting again before he settles. You tug the blanket that’s haphazardly thrown over you both further up his body and make sure he’s tucked in.
He’s asleep in mere moments, body growing heavy against your side, and the sound of his slow, laboured breaths mixes with the buzz of the movie as it slowly plays out.
masterlist ⛧ Ao3
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Ready, Aim, Shoot (3)
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Hi guys!
I post it again, the other one just disappeared without any reason. Sorry if you already red it.
TW : Blood, creepy psychologist, panic attack, angst, depression.
PART 1 | PART 2
Blood. There is blood everywhere. The more you look, the more there is. You look at your shaking hands, cover in red. You don’t know whose blood is it though. The room you are in is only white, adding to the contrast with the blood color. Breathing quickly, you look around and that’s when you finally see her.
Alexia.
Alexia is laying in the middle of the room, her body surrounded by red too. Panicking, you kneel next to her, shaking her to try to wake her. But she doesn’t. She stays still in your hand, not moving. Not breathing. This is when you scream.
You scream so much that it wakes you up suddenly. Heavily breathing, you sit on your bed, blindly trying to find the button on your bedside lamp. You finally managed to find it, but when you put the light on, Alexia isn’t next to you in your bed.
It’s only when you left your room to look for her that you remember. She’s not here tonight, she’s sleeping in Tenerife, where she played today. Or yesterday, because it’s actually three in the morning. It’s the first time she leaves
you alone for all the night since you came back.
Alexia Is not here, but it’s your fault. You assured her that you will be ok, almost pushing her out of your flat. She made you swear to call her if you need her, no matter what time is it. She asked Mapi to come to look for you last night, so you watched the game with the blonde before she went home. You fell asleep quickly actually, you were far to imagine a wake up like that.
You should really call her; she will be disappointed with you if she learns the state of panic you are in without calling her. But you hate the idea to wake her up at this time of the night. She played yesterday, she’s coming home today. She needs to rest.
You find refuge on your couch, putting the TV on. But you can’t forget the picture of Alexia and the blood everywhere. You feel like it’s still on your body, no matter how many times you look at your hands to be sure that you don’t have a little red on you. Thirty minutes after you wake up, you decided to go take a shower.
You pass a long time under it, water burning, washing your body again and again. You ignore the scare that your accident left on your body. You hate them. No matter how many times Alexia kissed them, telling you that you are strong and even more beautiful than before.
You feel guilty as hell when you think about your girlfriend. She is amazing with you, so patient and so loving. You don’t feel like you deserve her. You don’t make any progress with your mental health and it’s disturbing. You even think about breaking up with Alexia one time, disgusting by yourself. She deserves so much more than you. But right after you had a panic attack, because how can you live without her? She’s your whole world.
You are not even strong enough to make the things right for her.
When the feeling of the hot water and the strength with which you rubbed your skin became too much to handle, you stop the water and get out of the shower. This time your skin is red, but you know why.
You pick a hoodie from Alexia and one of her old Barcelona’s short. If you can’t have your girlfriend’s arms, at least you can have her smell. And, after some hesitation, you even take her pillow to go with you to the couch of your living room. You take snack and watch some stupid things on TV while scrolling on your phone.
You are still tired, but you don’t want to take the risk to fall asleep again. You’re terrified to have this dream again. Every time the images came back in your brain, you try to hug Alexia’s pillow harder. It kind of work, but it has nothing to do with Alexia’s comfort.
You fall asleep after 8 o’clock, after your girlfriend told you that they are boarding and that she will be home soon.
You are still asleep when Alexia comes home. She smiles seeing you laying on the couch, cuddle against her pillow, in her clothes. You are watching YouTube now, from her account, and you choose the playlist where she puts all the games she finds interesting. Only putting her suitcase on the ground, she comes to sit next to you, softly stroking your hair.
“Alexia?” you mumble, opening your eyes with difficulty.
“Hi sleepy head”
Her smile is affectionate, and you get up on one elbow to rub your eyes and have a better look at her. Her hairs are down and she seems fine. She seems happy, maybe to see you? The plan was that she takes a taxi with Jana to come back home, Alexia didn’t want you to drive because some noises sometimes make you jump.
“How are you?” Alexia asks softly.
“Can I have a hug?”
She smiles and passes her arms around you to hug you. But you lay on the couch again, taking her with you on it. She giggles and you smile, forgetting for the first time your nightmare.
“I’m glad you’re here” you whisper after some minutes.
“I’m glad to be back to you too.”
You hum, turning a little to pass a lag around her knees and cuddle tighter against her. She’s stroking your back lovingly, sometimes kissing your head. You started to wonder how much mental pressure you are putting on her when she talks again.
“You remember Marta? From the media team?”
“I think I do” you answer, frowning. “Why?”
“She just left for her maternity leave, and she doesn’t know for now if she will come back.”
“Ok?”
You are still frowning when you look at your girlfriend, not understanding where she wants to go. I mean you are happy that people have baby and all. But what does it make a change for you?
It looks like Alexia’s idea was that you apply for the job. You try to escape that idea, not really happy about the idea of meeting tons of people who will know about your story and look at you with pity in their eyes. But Alexia assures you that it won’t happen, adding that you just can go for the interview without saying yes after.
Long story short, you are now sitting on your desk for your first day.
Your job is basically to find idea of activities to anime the games, a little more marketing than journalism to be honest. But it looks fun and like Alexia said before, when Marta will come back, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.
********
“Hi, I’d like a meeting with the new media manager?”
A voice in front of you make you raise your head, even if you recognize it immediately. Alexia is smirking at you from the door of your office, looking like she just finishes her shower. Which she probably did given the time.
“I’m sorry, but you have to talk to my assistant first, she will give you my time schedule” you smirk back.
Alexia frown slightly, closing the door behind her before coming for you.
“You have an assistant?”
You know that frown and you roll your eyes while standing up to great her like she deserves it.
“Yes, I have” you answer, letting yourself go against her when she takes you in her arms.
She hums, her lips against your hair, trying to look discreetly in the open office by the window. The gesture makes you chuckle and you raise your head to have a better look at her.
“What? I was just looking to know if you knew her, that’s all.”
“Sure, mi Amor.”
She pouts and you kiss it better, just to see the smile she has right after. You weren’t really happy to start to work again to be honest, but you have to admit that it’s a good thing for you to keep your head busy with something. Alexia was right, once again.
“Are you ready to leave? I’m taking you home.”
“I am.”
You take your stuff with you, before letting Alexia passes her arm around your waist to take you with her. You don’t know if it’s only the jealousy talking right now, but you have to admit that she is way more openly affective with you since your accident. Not that you have a problem with it, obviously. But the way her gaze is scanning the room when you left after saying goodbye to your colleagues, it makes you think that there is at least a little part of jealousy in it.
Which is totally stupid, you only see her.
“You seems happier” Alexia says cautiously over her plate that night.
You look at her for some seconds before nodding. You are, but you are scared to mention it in case that it makes your nightmares coming back.
“I am. Thanks to you” you smile softly.
“Are you really? Or are you hiding something for me like when I was away for the game to Tenerife?”
You blush and almost chock on your tomato, but you somehow are able to keep some dignity. You don’t take the time to try to deny her statement though, you know that she knows. Of course she does. She reads you like an open book. Alexia has the decency to not point anything else, waiting patiently for your answer.
“I really am better. You were right, I really needed to get out from here even if it was difficult at first. It’s great to have something to do, not that cooking for you wasn’t entertaining. But going out… It’s great.”
She nods softly, without leaving your face with her eyes. You know immediately that there is something else in her mind, but you don’t push, letting her carry the conversation.
“Do you think I was too suffocating with you? Maybe if I…”
“No!” you cut her after some seconds of incredulity. “Alexia how could you…? Are you joking? You are the reason that I’m still here and mentally good. You are the reason that I keep fighting to be fine again. I couldn’t have done it without you. I forbid you to think of anything like that.”
“I’m sorry. It’s some insecurities and I shouldn’t have told you that” she frowns again, playing with her forks and some pasta left in her plate.
“Alexia, don’t please.”
She looks at you again when you stand up, just to come sit on her lap. She welcomes you by taking you close against her with her arms. You pass your arms around your neck, one of your fingers playing with the baby hair on her neck.
“You are so perfect to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to thank you enough one day for it. You were always right and done nothing wrong all those days. A lot of people would have abandoned, but you are still here with me.”
“I’ll never abandon you” she mumbles right into your eyes.
You can see how much she means those worlds and you have to take all your strength not to start crying like a baby. You’re pretty sure that your eyes are shining from tears but you busy yourself by stroking her cheek tenderly.
“You said one time that my come back is a miracle, do you remember? Well, you are my miracle.” you add, after she nods.
She kisses you and the way she did makes your head turned. She only let you breath for several seconds when you need air, before kissing you again with even more intensity. You had sex again after some weeks of rehab from your part, but not like you did before your departure. And it’s hard to see Alexia restrain her gestures, scared as hell to hurt you. Tonight though, you feel like that maybe it will come back.
********
It came back.
You are laying on your bed, lovingly enveloped in your girlfriend’s arms. Her skin is so soft against yours, your face hiding in her neck. You are lull by Alexia’s deep and slow breathing and you are starting to wonder if she’s falling asleep when she talks quietly.
“How are you feeling?”
“Great. Safe. Warm.”
“Perfect” Alexia sighs softly, moving a little to be more comfortable on the mattress.
You look up at her, admiring the shape of her jaw, her perfect nose, her beautiful eyes, and her so kissable lips.
“What?” she asks when she sees you staring.
“Nothing” you giggle. “You’re just so beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes before closing them, tightening you harder against her. You don’t need anything than her body to keep you warm and you love it.
“Would you be angry if I stopped working there?”
The sudden question makes her open her eyes again to look at you. She seems to be thinking for several seconds before answering.
“Of course not. Why do you want to stop anyway? Is someone nasty with you?”
“Not at all” you deny, already imagine her hunting the person who would do that to you. “I was thinking that… maybe I could finish one of my book projects?”
“You mean one of your thousand amazing scenario who are desperately waiting on your computer?”
“Exactly that” you answer, rolling your eyes.
She teases you way to much about it already.
“If it’s what you want, of course I’ll support you. But what about going out to meet people?”
You see the worried already and you answer, kissing her cheek.
“I’ll go write into a Café or something. Maybe seeing people, crowd and streets will help me to get idea.”
********
That’s exactly what you did, after finishing your job with the media. The first days, you weren’t really effective, more focused on what’s going on around you and which story you want to choose. After some debate with yourself and help asking to your mother and Alexia, you choose to mix two stories and start writing again. It made you start from the beginning, but it’s maybe better like this.
You still get to your psychiatrist to your session twice a week, always a little more scared to go without Alexia. Your psychiatrist told both of you that it could be good for you to come without your girlfriend. Alexia accepted immediately, always being interested in everything that can make you feel better.
You always have a strange feeling without Alexia’s halo, and it’s only happened when you come here. You don’t have trouble to go grocery shopping without Alexia or go to the Café to write.
It’s particularly hard to come today, you talked to Alexia by the phone before your appointment to ease your stress. She seems to realize that something is wrong, because she talks a lot about her day. She only does that to change your mind, and you love her for that.
“Hello Y/N” your therapist greats you.
You great her back and start talking about your new occupation, your activities since the last time and the travel Alexia proposed to you last night. It was something you can’t stop to think about since she mentioned it, eager to go away for some days in the sun with the woman you love.
“Don’t you think it will be too soon?” the doctor asks, only looking at her notepad.
You are taken aback. You would never have thought that she can be thinking that it’s a bad idea. She never stops to tell you to go ahead and try new things since the beginning.
“Taking a plane, going to an airport, in a place that might remind you of your trauma? What would you do if you have one of your panic attacks there?”
You don’t know what to answer to that. Alexia mentioned Canary Islands and a private hotel with a private beach, which seems far away from the Middle East.
“No, I mean… I’m going better now. And I’ll be with Ale. Everything will be ok.”
She looks at you this time, raising an eyebrow. Her look is sharp, almost mean and you have trouble swallow your saliva. You feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied by her teacher.
“Don’t you think you already lean too much on the poor girl? Maybe she suggests the holidays to have some rest, are you sure she wants you to go with her?”
You don’t really remember the end of the appointment and you don’t know how you managed to find yourself in the Barcelona’s facilities. You can’t think straight anymore, it’s like this woman knew all your insecurities and tell you that you are right to have them.
What if she’s right? What if Alexia can’t stand your presence, your toxics dreams and mental health? You already knew that you weren’t good enough for her and that she deserved better. You can’t believe that you let her makes you believe that she can love you. How can she? How can anyone?
You were turning around to go home when you hear someone call your name.
“Y/N?”
You recognize Mariona through your tears, but you can’t say anything. She doesn’t seem to mind though, carefully taking your arm in her hand.
“What are you doing here? Are you looking for Alexia?”
You try to scream at her to let Alexia alone and not to get you to her, but you can’t. When you don’t say a word, Mariona decides to take you to Alexia. Luckily the Majorcan woman came late today and she knows exactly where to find your girlfriend.
You let Mariona drags you around, hearing her soothing voice without being able to understand what she’s saying. Sweets, encouraging words, for sur. You can’t figure out really what happens next, but after several minutes of walk, you hear Mariona calling your girlfriend’s name. And more seconds after, you are surrounded by her arms, her perfume, everything that is her.
Everything that you don’t deserve.
When Alexia realizes that she’s facing a wall and that you won’t say a word, she takes you home. You are like anesthetized at this point, letting her do what she wants with you. When you are laying on the bed you retake some reality and stare at Alexia who seems to be choosing clothes to put on you after taking a shower.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
The words were lifeless, but you see Alexia froze. She turns in your direction, with eyes wide and the most chocked face ever.
“What?”
“I’m breaking up with you” you repeat, looking at her straight in her eyes.
A silence pass and you see Alexia watching at you, probably waiting for you to say something else. Maybe to explain yourself, but you don’t say another word. Plus, the reasons are obvious, no?
“Are you- don’t you love me anymore?”
She seems broken. That doesn’t make any sense, she is supposed to be relieved, not sad. You don’t understand her reaction, so you shrug before answering.
“That’s not the point, Alexia. You are free. I’m giving you your liberty back.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did someone give you something to you?”
She seems angry now, almost shouting with her eyebrows frown. You frown too, because why the hell won’t she understand? You sit in the bed while she’s still standing in front of you.
“No! I just… Why won’t you…”
Why is your brain suddenly transformed in pudding?
You look at Alexia when she comes to you and takes your face between her hands. She does it with so much care that you want to cry again.
“Why don’t you let me break up with you?” you whisper.
“Because I love you. I told you; I’ll fight for us every day if I have to.”
There we are, you are crying again. But this time Alexia is here, she can take you against her, rock you will you cry and whispers sweets nothing in your ears. She waits for your sobbing to stop, holding you tightly. Only when you can breathe normally again, she speaks.
“What happened?” she asks softly.
You don’t know really where to start, so you just shake your head without answering anything. But she waits, again and again. So, after some minutes, you talk too.
“I just want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happier without me.”
“You are wrong.”
Her voice is gentle, but as the same time strong enough to let you know that you don’t have to try to deny it. It’s her truth and that’s enough.
“Well you need to take some time apart from me so it’s not –“
“Where the hell does that idea comes from?”
She’s lost. You were good when you end up your call some hours later. And then you appeared crying during her training, only to say her when you come home that you want to break up with her. But you frown again, lost too. And tired, to be honest.
“My therapist said that I’m leaning on you too much. And that’s way you wanted to go on holidays without me.”
You explain that like it’s the more logical thing in the world, but for Alexia it doesn’t make any sense. She starts to understand where it comes from however, even if she doesn’t understand why.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, what the point to have holidays if you’re not with me?” she answers, looking right into your eyes. “Did your therapist say other things?”
You nod and start to explain everything happened and everything she told you. The more you talk, the more Alexia seems to be furious. Her jaw is clenched, her eyes are literally throwing lightning and she so tense that you are really concerned that she can have a cramp somewhere. But when she talks to you again, her voice is infinitely soft.
“Nothing of that is true. I love you. I will do everything to help you to make you feel better. I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. I’m not going to give up on us.”
You look at her, almost desperately. But she has the same gaze that she has when says things like this. Her eyes are soft, caring and so loving that you can’t do otherwise than believe her.
“I don’t feel like I’m better, Ale” you whisper. “I don’t think I will be one day.”
“You are. You are working, you are getting out, you are smiling again. It’s ok to have bad days, like everyone else. Yours are a little more complicated because you had to go through horrible things. But you have the right to not feel good or needing help a little more some days. And what she said was wrong.”
You are lost, honestly. Alexia can see that you are coming back at yourself again though. Like if you are waking up. You seem always a little desperate and she takes you carefully against her. You let her, sighing of relief when you find the comfort of her arms.
“What if she’s right and you haven’t realized for now?”
“She’s wrong. And she will know it.”
You don’t question what she was implying, too tired to realize what her words may imply. You let Alexia taking you in a bath and more generally taking care of you. You look at her through the mirror when she does your hair.
“When I get better, it will be me who will take care of you” you inform her.
She smiles and finish to undo a knot in your hair before answering, looking at you through the mirror too.
“Okay Cariño.”
She’s smiling but doesn’t seem to make fun of you. You relax, letting your shoulder go down a little bit. That’s mean that she really believes that you will be better.
********
Alexia keeps her promise, going to your therapist’s office in the early hours to talk to her. You don’t know what she told her, but now you don’t have to go to your appointments, and you even have a new psychiatrist, advised by someone from Alexia’s staff.
Rumor has it that Alexia’s shouts still resonate in the psychiatrist’s office.
You don’t know if it’s your breakdown of the change of therapist, but some days after this episode, you feel better than ever. You wake up with your head and your body feeling lighter and Alexia is surprised to see you coming in the kitchen when she’s taking her breakfast. Usually, you stay way longer in bed.
“Is everything alright?” she asks nervously.
You nod, rubbing your eyes before coming behind her to pass your arms around her waist.
“Just wanted to be with you a little bit before you leave.”
Alexia hums when you kiss her neck. You can feel a gaze studying you while you are making yourself coffee, before coming to sit next to her.
“Are you sure that you’re ok Cari?” she asks, almost shyly while you stole a strawberry from her bowl.
“I’m sure baby” you smile at her.
Alexia is looking at you suspiciously during several seconds. She red things about people being “high” before getting down and of course she is scared. But you seem really good today and she can’t help but smile when you kiss her cheek.
“Uhu” she said, taping her lips with expectation.
You giggle but kiss her anyway, smiling against her lips. You are still smiling when she strokes your cheek with her fingertips and when she puts her forehead against yours.
“I love you so much” she whispers before kissing you again.
“I love you more” you smiles.
Alexia makes no with her head and put a finger on your mouth when you want to talk again.
 “Would you like to come with me to training today?”
You hesitate for several seconds before answering. It’s been a while since you came to see Alexia in training. You can’t remember who you saw some days before, only Mariona. But you hope that they weren’t a lot.
“You can say no if you don’t want to.” Alexia adds after seeing you hesitate.
“No, I want to come. But… Who were here, the other day? You know…”
“Only Mariona. And I’m sure that she doesn’t say anything to anyone.”
You are relieved to learn that, even if you don’t know how Alexia can know.
“Did you treat her?” you smirk.
“No” Alexia laughs. “I know the girl, she’s one of the most loyal, sweet and discreet that I’ve never met.”
She was right. Mariona didn’t told anyone about what happened and after several minutes you realize that Alexia was right once again. You hug the Mallorcan woman a little longer than Alexia’s other teammates when you met them, silently thanking her. She seems to understand because she smiles at you before taping your cheek affectionately.
And today, as you watch Alexia training and laughing on the pitch with the teammates that she considered like her family, you’re starting to have hope again. Alexia was right every time, so maybe she will be right this time again. You will be better.
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lizstory · 6 months
Text
The mistake
Tumblr media
Satoru Gojo x Fem reader
Warning: angst, death, slight ish spoilers? Not really
Wordcount: 1.3k
What happened to you was only a mistake
————————
Dating in the sorcerer world was always deemed scandalous, especially with Gojo Satoru. The one and only legend himself, the strongest sorcerer. It was never forbidden for him to date, but with all the responsibilities he carried, it was nearly impossible. That was until he met you.
You weren’t, say, the strongest out of the bunch, but your healing abilities were unmatchable. You were still, however, a sorcerer who went on missions but acted as the nurse. Though it was never a rule, the higher-ups never put you on special-grade missions. You’d either heal the injured people as they returned or work as a first responder in bigger missions with groups of sorcerers.
Gojo knew this much and refused to let you come along with him on his missions, even the small ones where he’d be a supervisor. He enjoyed having his personal nurse waiting for him at home.
He laid in bed, your body curled next to him. The size difference always made him smile. He loved that he could tower over you, acting like a shield. He played with your fingers, rubbing gently across your palm.
“It's nice to have a day off,” He mumbled into your hair.
You smiled, beginning to respond, but were interrupted by his phone ringing. “Spoke too soon”
He groaned, wanting to let the call go by and stay in this moment, to stay with you. But that wasn’t the case. Not when you weren’t here.
“Gojo,” Nanami called, his voice ringing in Gojo’s ear. “Did you oversleep again?”. He grew concerned for his friend. Ever since he lost his love, he hasn’t been the same. He’s refused to go on missions the higher-ups assign him, resulting in multiple lives being taken.
Gojo grumbled, still hazy from the too-realistic dream. “What do you need, Nanami?”
“The higher-ups need you.”
“And tell them I need Y/n back.” He immediately ended the call. His head pounded, the consequences of last night's drinking finally dawning on him. His elbows dug into the mattress; pushing himself up, he stared at the empty side of his bed. The side you’d always sleep in. Your figure still wrinkled the sheets. Somehow, that simple detail helped him sleep.
Slowly, you disappeared not only from the world but from his mind. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew how fast he’d forget you if he drank, but the pain was too much. You weren’t supposed to be there that day. It was supposed to be him that people mourned, not him mourning.
“Satoru, calm down,” You sighed, clenching his hand. You two had been arguing for the past thirty minutes about you attending a special grade mission with him.
“Why did they even assign you with me?” He groaned, his hands running through his hair. It was better than hitting or going straight to the higher-ups and hitting them. “You aren’t a sorcerer.”
The once happiness that filled your chest was gone. Gojo might not have agreed with these arrangements, but it was one of the best things that happened. You were seen as the weakest, and now the higher-ups are noticing that you can do more just for Gojo to rip it away.
“I am a sorcerer.” Your voice dropped an octave, either from hurt or anger. That much wasn’t clear at the moment. “Or am I just not your idea of what a sorcerer is?”
His hand came to yours. “You know what I mean.”
You pulled away, stunned that not only your friend but your lover could think this low of you. “Frankly I don’t.”
He sighed, squeezing your hand. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
A small smile cracked against your lips. It was hard to stay mad at Gojo. He was a caring person, protected the ones he loved, charismatic and thoughtful, and those were just a few things that made you fall so deeply for him.
“I promise I’ll be ok.”
That smile. He knew that it was dangerous and knew what the possible outcomes could be, but he could never say no to that smile. “Ok”
But Gojo should have known. He never gets the things he wants, not after how much he fought for them. Knew that he could never be happy. Not when he's Gojo Satoru.
He carried your body to Shoko. She was practically desensitized to the dead, but your body? No, she needed a second to process your presence there. You were a kind soul, and now this earth had to carry on without you. Her bottom lip quivered at your curse technique markings slowly fading. She knew what those markings meant.
“What happened?” She asked, not entirely sure if she wanted to know the truth.
“She used what little life she had left to save me,” Gojo choked as he stared at your peaceful face.
Shoko took a deep breath. “She died saving who she loved.” it was a reminder for him, not her.
He left the one instantly. He didn’t want to see what she would do with you. Either way, he needed to have a small talk with the higher-ups. He was in pain, and they put him there. It was the same story, different time. He was forced to watch yet another loved one leave his life, forced to watch them take their last breath. And in every story, it was his fault. It was his fault when he was 18, and it was his fault now.
He burst into the meeting room. It didn’t matter who was in there, how important they were, or how much he needed to respect them. He wanted answers. “Why!” He yelled
Masamichi sighed. He was one of the first to hear the tragic news of your passing, so he knew at some point Gojo would be coming. “Satoru,” He mumbled, his voice treading carefully around the grieving boy. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Why’d you send her with me?” His voice only grew louder, and yet everyone didn’t seem to be in shock. They had to witness this same scenario.
Masamichi stayed silent. He knew Gojo deserved the truth. “It was either you or her.”
Numb, that was the only way to describe what he had felt. His body went stiff, his brain yelling at him to do so many things, but all he could do was stare. Not again, not the ultimatum. It was always him or them. Every chance he was given, he fought so hard to save them, fought so hard to save what he treasured. He was strong enough to save the world but couldn’t keep his world.
Why’d the universe always have to choose him…
“You knew she wouldn’t make it?” He whispered, his vision bluring with every blink
“Think of it as collateral damage.”
He turned too quickly, not pinpointing which mouth those foul words were said from. He only leaped for the nearest old man.
Gojo stood at your grave, the rain dripping down the engraved stone. Of course, he wasn’t getting soaked at all. He always had his infinity on. He learned his lesson, only if it didn’t have to come to another life lost for it to get through his head.
“I’m so sorry,” He mumbled, wanting so much to hold you, just to touch you one last time. He needed it. You were the one thing that kept him human. Took care of him when that was the last thing on his mind. You were the person he couldn’t sleep without. Your scent was the only thing that brought him comfort; your touch gave him life, your smile gave him reason, and your love gave him hope. You were his entire world, and you were gone. How could he ever continue without you?
"I love you."
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daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months
Text
Support System pt. 9
Roy Kent x Reader - domestic fluff and hints of further spice to come 😍
CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8
MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~
You're enjoying the hottest shower you can bear and also not looking forward to going back to your poor water pressure trickle when he taps on the door. 
"Why you knocking?" You laugh over the pounding water. 
"Don't want to catch you doing something you don't want me to know about, " he says with a wink. You turn the shower off and step into the towel he's holding out. "Your phones been going mad, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to check it wasn't Lexie?" 
"Thank you, course I don't." You take the phone and look through the notifications. "Lots from your sister, she's seen the red carpet pictures… shit, the pictures!" You keep scrolling, reaching with your other hand to hold onto his t-shirt. He takes you hand and kisses the palm. "Ah. Here we go." You hold it up to show him. A slew of messages and missed calls from Andy. 
"Fuck. What a knob. Come on, I've made tea. Do you want to read them while I get angry or the other way around?" 
"Ooh we can switch and both get angry."
"Can't do that, you look really hot when you're mad and we haven't got enough time for that."
"Uhh you need talk? Jamie asked me last night if permanent concussion was a thing from all the times you've headbutted him." He holds his hands up, backing out the door. 
"I deny everything." He leaves you to pull on some leggings and one of his Richmond t-shirts (no name on the back). You bounce down the stairs, your heels from the night before discarded at the bottom. Your dress had been left there too but Roy's obviously rescued it and draped it over the back of the sofa. 
"Thank you for saving the dress." You tiptoe to kiss his cheek. 
"It's only down here so I can put it on you again and then take it back off." 
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think we had time for that this morning?" You tease. You sit up on one of the barstools and he steps between your legs, holding out a piece of toast.
"We don't, but I can look at it and dream." He sneaks a kiss before passing your breakfast and moves to stand behind you. 
"I see what you're doing, feed me, put me in a good mood before I have to read these stupid messages?"
"Is it working?" He kisses your neck. 
"No."
"Yes," a laugh which makes you shiver.
"Fine, yes. OK, what have we got…" You unlock the phone and open Andy’s contact page. "Ready?" He nods into your shoulder.
" Now I see why you said no to getting back together. Starting tame, also he's not wrong. I'll allow it. You look like a slag in that dress. Juicy, god I haven't heard the word slag for years!" Roy growls. " I'm guessing Lexie doesn't know. She will when she wakes up. Hmm. OK. I mean, she likes you so I think we can cope with that situation. I think she'll be OK?"
"She's a fucking great kid, smart as hell. She'll be OK." He assures you. 
"There's more. He must have been pretty drunk by these I think. Bet he can't even fuck you with that dodgy knee. Uhhh, better than anyone. Ever. Ever." You feel his grin against your neck. "Don't get a big head."
"Not my head." He laughs, his beard and warm breath tickling you. 
"Ohhh stop doing that. Moving on. I'm sorry you dint really look like a slut. or slag. Ah, spelling and memory are becoming an issue. Oh god, he's back to sex. No idea why, he has literally zero to brag about. can't believe that wanker gets to fuck you in that dress bitch I wud fuk u better. Wow, that one is a real mess. Its the last one, I'm guessing he passed out after that because that last bit is just wishful thinking on his part."
"Didn't he have Lexie?"
"She went to his mums I think, he was going to the West Ham match."
"Good fucking job, if I find out he's getting wasted while she's with him-" You spin the seat around to face him again,
"You'll do nothing. I'll rip his dick off with my bare hands though." 
"Fuck me, you're hot when you're angry." 
"I should go and get her. I just need to check where from. Are you with Jamie today?"
"Yeah, but I can see him later if you want me to come with you?"
"I'll be OK. How shall we tell her? Do you want to be there?" 
"Your call babe, whatever you think she'd prefer? I'd rather not scare the shit out of her." 
"I'll get her and go back to mine. You could come over when you're done later if you want? If she asks me, I won't lie to her but if she doesn't, then we can tell her together? I'll cook for you for a change." 
"Perfect. Do me a favour?"
"Anything." 
"Wear this when you pick her up." He traces over your heart where it turns out, his name is on the shirt embroidered above the Richmond logo. 
"Baby, I would turn up in a full kit with your name on the back. Knee socks included, and football boots, just to piss him off." He kisses you fiercely, 
"Now you're just talking dirty to me," he mutters. 
"Yep, you love it. Come on, I bet Jamie's dying for gossip and I've got to get going." You text Andy while throwing only the important things in your bag. You're sure you've left a breadcrumb trail of your belongings around the house, but you know Roy won't mind. You head out together, the walk taking you both in the same direction for much of the journey. "Did you need to do anything about the photos?"
"Nah, no point in retracting them now and you look fit so the whole world can see them for all I care."
"Including your mum."
"Including my m-, shit, yeah I'd better call her. And your parents? Are they gonna wonder what the fucks going on?"
"I'll take Lexie round that way on our way home I think. Appease them."
"Nice one. Right, this is the Tartt's palace. See you later. Good luck, don't fucking kill him without me there to watch."
"Hmm I'll try. Don't make Jamie vom, he was trying really hard not to get too drunk last night but I don't think he was very successful."
"Story of his life. Love you." You smile up at him, 
"Love you too." Jamie has the door open before Roy's even hallway through the gate, waving at you. You wave back and carry on up to Andy’s mum's house. She had been largely on your side up to now, annoyed with Andy for breaking up the family and worried that she'd see less of Lexie because of it. You'd reassured her repeatedly, taken Lexie in for tea on the way home from school, picked up bits of shopping for her and gently tried to let her know that nothing had to change between them. You weren't so sure that would be the case this morning. 
 
~~~~~~~~
 
Andy’s car was on the drive so you braced yourself. 
"Darling girl, come in! Tea?"
"Hi Daph, yes please. I've only had time for one this morning." So far, so good. 
"Sore head?" She asked knowingly. 
"Not too bad. I suspect someone else is more hungover than me."
"You're not wrong. Did he give you crap?"
"A bit. How was Lex?"
"Oh golden, we had a lovely night. She's none the wiser by the way." She leads you from your hushed conversation in the hallway to her kitchen where Lexie sat eating breakfast and Andy hovered with a coffee in hand.
"Morning poppet, did you have a good night with Gran?"
"Yeah, we watched the new Matilda film!"
"And she hasn't stopped singing the songs yet!" Lexie grinned at her Gran.
"Show me later. Did you do your homework with Dad?" She nodded through a mouthful of cereal. Andy had yet to acknowledge you so far. "Shall we pop and see Nanny and Pop-pop on the way home?" Her face lights up, Andy grunts from the corner of the room. 
"Something to tell the folks eh?"
"Nothing we haven't already talked about." You quickly come up with the white lie. You don't want him to have the satisfaction that you're on clean up duty today. Lexie finishes her breakfast, puts her bowl in the sink and gives Daph a big hug. 
"Thank you Gran."
"Anytime pickle. Have a lovely week at school."
"And bye to Dad?" You prompt her, finishing your tea. You manage to leave without being cornered by Andy, it's pretty clear that his mum has told him to keep his mouth shut, so the short distance to your parents is a happy one. Your dad is already in the garden checking his plants and you can see your mum in the kitchen window beaming at Lexie. "Morning!" You call out, Lexie runs straight in so you go to your dad first. "Hiya dad." 
"Morning poppet," the same nickname you use for Lexie makes you smile. "Saw the paper."
"Hmm I thought you might have."
"Isn't he an almighty arsehole? I saw him on Sky Sports news, proper miserable bugger." You laugh at your dad's straight to the point question. 
"I still need to talk to Lexie, so I can't really talk about it too much, but he's so lovely dad. He's a grumpy fucker but he loves me, and Lexie too. It's early days, but he makes me very happy." Your dad stays quiet, just a grunt of acknowledgement. 
"I'll see about that. You'll bring him?"
"Soon, let's get the season finished first. It's a busy couple of weeks."
"Any luck on the job front?"
"Not yet."
"I hope you're not planning on just letting him support you? I didn't raise you like that."
"Dad! Course I'm not!" It stings a bit that he'd even ask that. You leave him to his tomato plants and go in to your mum. 
"Morning, love. Good night?"
"Yeah, thank you." Lexie is distracted by the baking your mum has already started, "you're not going to ask if I'm in it for the money as well are you?" Your mum laughs, 
"Don't be daft. Nice t-shirt," she notes. "Does the situation make you happy?" She asks cryptically for Lexie's benefit. 
"Very."
"Well that's enough for me for now. More details to follow though please. And you looked beautiful, my sweetheart."
"Thank you."
"He's very handsome. The only reason I'd put up with your dad watching Sky Sports news, really. Don't tell him I said that."
"I'm not telling either of them. Don't want him leaving me for my hot mum!" You stay long enough for Lexie the bottomless pit to have one of your mums famed apple muffins and pack up a couple to take for Roy, thankful that they can't ask too much with Lexie around. You plan to walk home via the park so text Sara who meets you with Phoebe. 
"How did the parental rounds go? Roy called this morning, said you'd have to deal with Andy's mum as well?"
"The mums are fine, I think. Turns out he's got a good fanbase in older women." 
"Oh that'll be his yoga women theory rumbled then. So confident they have no idea who he is! Like their husbands aren't all glued to weekend football."
"My dad asked if I was a golddigger."
"Ouch, rude!"
"Just making sure I'm not throwing my career away."
"What career?" She sniggers. 
"Oi, cheek!" 
"You looked so great together last night. The pictures were amazing."
"It didn't even cross my mind that they'd get attention like that. I wasn't expecting damage control this morning, or to have to tell those two so soon." You look over at where the girls are playing. 
"Phebs hasn't mentioned it yet, but it won't take long. You haven't got to see the playground parents tomorrow have you? That'll be fun, they love a bit of extracurricular shagging!"
"No, she's at breakfast club thankfully! I'm going to tell her this afternoon." 
"Good idea, gotta do it before anyone else can." You say goodbye with plans to watch the following week's Man City game together with the girls and to catch up in the week at school. 
 
~~~~~~~~
 
You're considering tackling the mountain of washing and more job applications when the front door knocks. Lexie, who's been quiet all morning, jumps up to open it. You can just about see the front door from the kitchen, so the first thing you see is Roy handing Lexie a bunch of pink tulips. 
"For me?" She squeaks, "really?"
"Is that OK?"
"Only mum has ever brought me flowers before! Mum! Roy brought me flowers!" She rushes in to show you, shaking the bunch in her little fist.
"Oh honey, they're beautiful! Shall I help you put them in water?"
"Can you do it? I'm making friendship bracelets."
"'Scuse me?"
"Pleaseee?"
"That's better, yes, I can do that for you." She puts the flowers on the table and runs back to the living room, high fiving Roy on the way past. "Someone is on the charm offensive." 
"Oh big time," he pulled another bunch from behind his back, peonies.
"How did you know?"
"Dunno what you're talking about." He checked the door before kissing you lightly, you cock your head to one side, "alright yeah, Lexie told me last week when you were out shopping with Sar."
"I knew you were a softy really."
"Only for you, don't get destroying my fucking tough man image."
"I wouldn't dream of it. I like that side too. Did you make Jamie vomit?"
"Unfortunately no. Did you kill anyone?"
"Unfortunately no. Bad mornings all round." He hasn't moved from your side yet and keeps looking to the door. "I think you're safe. She's making Richmond coloured bracelets for the match, we're watching with your mum and sister."
"So I've heard, means I'd better tell my mum about you then." At the knowledge that you shouldn't be interrupted for a few moments, he takes the opportunity to crowd you against the counter and really kiss you. You tilt your head to give you both better access and he sweeps his tongue over your bottom lip before biting it. The small gesture sends a wave of pleasure through your body and your hands go to the hem of his t-shirt of their own accord. You slide them just underneath enough to feel the warm skin on his stomach. The lightest scratch of your nails so close to the waistband of his jeans makes him growl into the kiss. "I've got to stop," he groans, pulling away from you. You can't help the desperate, needy moan at the loss of contact, and the look he gives you from that sound alone is enough to leave you trembling. You take a second to get your breath back and go back to sorting out the flowers. "Has she asked?" He questions once it feels safe enough to talk again. 
"Not yet. I'm going to go and talk to her, you're welcome to come with me?" He squeezes your hand reassuringly but makes sure to let it go once you're in the living room. "Hey, Lex? I need to tell you some that you might end up hearing about from someone else, I wanted to be able to tell you first though?" She sits up and starts measuring your wrist for a friendship bracelet.
"Is it about Roy?"
"Uhh yeah, how did you know?" She shrugs,
"He's here. And he brought flowers." You nod, 
"Right, of course. Yeah, it's about Roy. He asked me out to a fancy party last night. You might see some pictures of us-"
"Have you got them, can I see now?"
"Sure, I just need to get my phone." You're about to stand when Roy passes you his phone instead, and you see the lockscreen is one of the pictures from the night before. You hold it out to her, 
"You guys look so cute." Roy grunts at being called 'cute', "It's true!" She says, taking up his wrist to measure him for a bracelet. "So he's like, your boyfriend?" You steal a quick look at him, his eyebrows raise in anticipation of your answer. 
"Yeah. Is that ok?" Lexie shrugs,
"Sure, you're cooler than dad's new girlfriend but they broke up already. And now I get to meet footballers and hang out with Phoebe even more. She said we could be cousins and I told her I didn't have any so she said we should definitely do that. Can we?"
"Let's ummm… cousins is a very big step for you both. You really need to make sure you're ready so just slow down a bit there." Roy is sniggering at the big deal you've made cousins out to be, but Lexie is having none of it. 
"Mum, I think we'd be OK. We're nearly 9. We're not babies. I think you should just be brave and let us do it."
"Thanks for that input bunny, I'll take the cousins thing super seriously, ok?" She accepts your suggestion and thankfully drops the conversation. In the safety of the kitchen, you lean into him and let his arms wrap around you. "That was so scary. Why are 8 year olds so fucking terrifying?!"
"You were the shit, I fucking loved that." He laughs, his chest rumbling against yours. You stand together until Roy's phone rings and disturbs you. "It's Phoebe. Alright love?" He asks her. You can hear the squeal through the phone but can't make out what she's actually saying. You move away from Roy and give him a big thumbs up and a: you got this ! He doesn't look convinced, despite you only just telling him how scary it was. You can only hear his side of the call. "Nan saw the pictures? Yeah it was a fucking great dress. Yeah alright, I owe you. Worth it. No, this doesn't mean you're cousins now. You can be cousins when I tell you so. Cos it'll be up to me! Phoebe, put nan on the phone. Mum? Yeah she's OK. I'll come and see you tomorrow. I will, love you." He hangs up and you wait. "Phoebe is suddenly obsessed with cousins and mum wanted to check you were ok." You smile,
"I think that went well then. All the mums are on board, all the kids, I'm claiming the win." 
 
You cooked dinner, as promised and let Lexie watch a film with Roy afterwards while you packed her school bag and your work things. He left at her bedtime, leaving you with a kiss at the door. 
"Maybe Roy could have a sleepover next time, mum," she said halfway to sleep, "but you can't steal all the covers or he'll get cold."
"Thanks poppet, I'll make sure I don't steal the covers."
~~~~~~~~
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