daydreamgoddess14

[daydreamgoddess14]

Heey i hope you are doing fine!

Lots of love!

Heyyy! I am. I'm still sort of here. I've had a tough/ crazy busy couple of weeks that have left me feeling a bit lost and kinda... directionless? I dunno, I just don't quite feel myself 😕 I haven't been reading, I haven't been writing...

Anyway, I am fine! I just need to try and find my way back! I've got plenty of Kinktober asks to get through and other fics to finish, so I will will will be back as soon as real life has stopped kicking my ass!

Thank you for asking 😘 Lots of love to you too!

#answered #where am i #mental health #taking a break #trying to find my way back

[daydreamgoddess14]

I'm still here, I promise! Work/ life has kicked my arse this last week, but I'm getting there - more of Everything More Than Anything soon along with some delicious Kinktober prompts! 💜

I’m only one small step away from posting this fic. The step? Write it.

#life kicked my ass #I'm sorry #I haven't left you

[daydreamgoddess14]

ummmm...

Is a househusband kink a thing?? Because that's what this is. @lunar-years @tastytesticles

#i think my brain is melting #brett goldstein #he knows what he's doing #whatta man 🥵

[daydreamgoddess14]

morning repost icymi 😊

Everything More Than Anything pt. 3

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥 (not this chapter - boooo!)

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Who wants to spend 7 hours at the hospital?!

(I just said to myself that if I post this chapter then I really, really need to get my ass moving on Chapter 4... and then proceeded to post this so I'm going to get on with 4 now, promise!)

~~~~~

Chapter 3

They drove in silence towards the hospital, Syd’s head immediately beginning to refill with restaurant stuff and now also Carmy stuff. She could feel his eyes on her as he kept looking over to her. His phone buzzed in the center console, 

"Would you mind checking that?" He asked. She picked it up, 

"Looks like it's from Pete?"

"Passcode is 1234."

"Wow, you're crying out to get mugged, dude."

"I have no money and nothing to hide, so," he shrugged with a wry smile as she unlocked his phone. 

"Pete said 'nothing happening just yet but Nat needs Mountain Dew and Reeses.' Girl, I hear you."

"There's a 24 hour place near the hospital." The car lurched to the left, "the fuck?" Carmy pulled over and jumped out. Syd heard a dull thud on the roof as Carmy’s hand whacked the metal. She nudged the window down, 

"You good?"

"We got a flat. I need to call trip A." She stepped out of the car, 

"Do you have a spare?"

"Not a fucking clue, Richie's probably sold it." She opened the trunk, cleared away some of the crap inside and lifted the carpet panel. She held her breath and could feel Carmy doing the same next to her. Tucked into the recess, she was relieved to see the spare tire, a jack and a wrench.

"Thank fuck he didn't." She sighed. He pulled the tire out and they got to work replacing the flat. 

"You know how to do this?" He asked, impressed. 

"OK, so quick story time, my mom and dad went on a date once - like they hadn't been dating for long, and he got a flat. He had no clue what he was doing so he made out like it was something serious," He jacked the car up while she loosened the bolts, "she got out the car, changed the flat in, like, seconds and then got back in as if nothin' had happened. My dad was totally stunned," he pulled the flat off and she replaced it with the spare, "her dad was a mechanic and he had no idea. So once he'd learned how to do it himself, dad made sure I knew how to do it as well." Carmy tightened the bolts.

"Sounds like she made a big impression on him."

"She did. There's never been anyone else for him, even after all this time." They jumped back into the car and Carmy eased back onto the road. 

"No one from his dance classes?"

"Dance classes, quiz team, poker nights, work, family friends… you name it. He refuses to be set up with anyone. He says I'm like her."

"Determined?"

"Good at changing a flat." She joked. Within minutes, he'd pulled up at the 24 hour store. Syd piled handfuls of candy and sodas into his arms as he followed her around the store, noting that she'd picked up both of their favorites as well as Nat's. "Right, let's go wait for your niece or nephew to be fashionably late?"

~~~~~

Fashionably late was an understatement. Syd was certain that she'd sat in the cold, uncomfortable plastic chairs for so long that she'd imagined everything that had happened in the office. It was all some sleep deprived fever dream her mind had conjured up to taunt her with. Fueled by sour gummy sweets, she'd arranged for Tina and Connor to run prep that morning. If the baby hadn't arrived before lunch service, she'd planned to take Carmy's car to the restaurant and work alongside Richie. The evening would have to wait until later to figure out. While she tried to decide if the images in her mind from earlier were a dream or a memory, she felt him stir next to her in the seat. His head had fallen into the curve of her neck while he'd slept. She felt the brush of his nose behind her ear, followed by a kiss. 

"D'ya sleep?"

"No. I sorted out tomorrow. Today. Whatever, it's covered til this evening at least and I'll burn that bridge when I get to it." He slumped in the chair and checked messages from Richie asking for an update. 

"Richie?"

"I spoke to him while you were asleep, he knows what's happening. Can I ask you something?" He turned to face her, a small nod urging her to continue. "Were you really coming to see me that night?" A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

"Yeah. I uh, I'd been thinking since the walk-in about How good we were. How good you were. Or are now, I guess. I was gonna go all in on," he gestured between them, "all of this - the restaurant, the stars. I needed you to know that you have my full focus."

"At 3am?"

"It was important to me that you knew."

"Looks like we were on the same page." 

"As usual. You should sleep. I'll see if Pete wants to switch." He yawned. 

"I'm OK. You wanna go change, take a shower?"

"With you?" He asked, hopefully. 

"Alone. For now. If Pete needs a break too, someone needs to be here for Nat." She smiled shyly. "But, y’know, good to know that earlier wasn't some weird fucking delirious dream."

"I'm gonna need to hear more about these dreams -" 

"Hey guys, Nat's asked me to take a break. I’m stressing her out." Pete came out with a tired smile before Carmy could say anymore. 

"You need to eat something, and you need to sleep for a couple hours." Syd told him

"Ahh I don't want to leave her for too long." 

"You don't have to," Carmy assured him. "I'll get you back here in an hour if you wanna skip the sleep part?" He looked torn.

"Dude, you can't look after Nat if you're starving and exhausted." Syd warned him. 

"You're right. And you'll stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere." She promised. 

"I'll go tell her." He said gratefully. When they'd been left alone again, Carmy turned to Syd.

"Sure you're good to stay? Thought you hated hospitals?"

"Well turns out the Berzatto's are very persuasive."

"We can be."

"And Nat has called me a genius before so I feel like she already likes me more than you." 

“That’s guaranteed. You don’t piss her off half as much as I do.” He checked over her shoulder for Pete’s reappearance before kissing her softly. “You need anything?” As if on command, her stomach rumbled loudly. 

“Food, please.” She sniggered, hiding her face in his collar. “What time is it? What meal is it?” She checked her phone to see 4am glaring at her.

“I’ll find you something, I’ll be back with breakfast.” He gave her some space as Pete returned with his coat, barely noticing their proximity.

“OK, let’s make this quick.” He sighed, “thanks Sydney.”

“No problem, Pete. I’ll see you guys later.” She went straight in to Nat, not wanting to leave her on her own purely so she could watch Carmy leave.

~~~~~

The tired blond smiled as she entered, but the toll of the evening was written all over her face. “Oh, Nat.” Syd sighed. “How you holding up?”

“Thank god you’re here. Pete’s great but I need to vent and he’s just being too nice. I feel like I can’t even yell at him, it’s like kicking a puppy.”

“I’m all yours, have at it.”

“I fucking hurt all over and I’m so fucking tired and I swear to god if someone doesn’t pull this baby from my fucking body right now then it can just fucking stay there and I’ll go back to work and it just stays there forever.” She growled as another contraction gripped her.

“Wow. OK, if that’s what you wanna do then I’ll bust you outta here right now. We’ll get back to work, help Tina with prep and get you serving tables by lunchtime?” Nat glared at her. “Can you even get up? Will they let you?”

“I’m not really clear on what I can do, no one is telling me anything except ‘be patient, baby will get here when they’re ready’. Be patient? Be fucking patient?”

“Are you hooked up to any machines or anything?” Syd looked around the bed but couldn’t see anything. “Doesn’t look like it. Wanna go for a walk?” Nat looked up suddenly,

“Really? Pete didn’t think it was a good idea.” She frowned.

“Your body, your rules. What’s it telling you?” 

“To stretch my legs.”

“So let's do it.” Syd held out her hands and Nat turned on the bed so that her feet hung over the side. She wiggled further forward on the bed, hanging onto Syd’s hands until her wooly socked feet hit the ground. She beamed at Syd, instantly looking more relaxed. “There’s the Nat I know. Come on, we’ll just have a little walk around this little area.” Syd propped open the door with a chair and held out her arm for Nat to take her elbow. They walked slowly through the deserted corridors to the elevators, past the nurses station, to the vending machines and back again doing a little loop. They paused occasionally for Nat’s contractions, but she didn’t want to stop. 

“Thought you were gonna get bed sores from sittin’ down all day!” A nurse called out as she passed them on their third loop. 

“I ditched the overprotective husband for an hour.” Nat smiled.

“Told you a walk would feel good. I was about to come and get you up anyway. Mind if I have a feel?” She gestured to Nat’s bump, Nat shrugged in agreement as the nurse placed her firm hands on Nat’s stomach. “Feels good, I think baby will be a little more energized after a walk.” She confirmed. “Head back if you feel unwell, I’m not birthing this baby in a corridor though, yeah?” Nat agreed and they carried on walking.

“How’s it feel?” Syd asked.

“Y’know Christmas?” Nat grimaced as they paused again, 

“Uhh yeah?”

“When you have to move fucking everything in your house to make room for a gigantic fucking tree that just sits there for weeks and then you have to get rid of it and put all the furniture back to where it was before?”

“Yeah?”

“Like that.”

“That’s fucked, Nat.” Syd laughed. Her loud laugh in the quiet corridor made Nat laugh until she was doubled over and clinging to Syd. 

“Oww! Fuck, OK no more laughing.”

“Yep, no more. Wanna head back to bed?”

“Yeah, time to take this fucking Christmas tree down.” They giggled as Syd guided Nat back past the elevators and to her room. Back in the room, Nat spotted a yoga ball that had been shoved in a corner, “lemme at that thing.” Syd placed it behind Nat and held it in place with her feet, using her hands to guide Nat to sit on the ball. She bounced gently on the spot,

“Yeah?” “Yeah, feels good.”

“Good. Let’s hope that was a good enough eviction notice.” They talked quietly while Nat bounced on the birthing ball, with Syd explaining the plans for the fall menu and the expected visit from Luca. 

“He’s cute, if I remember correctly?” Nat asked, distracting herself from the pain of another contraction.

“I’ve seen him once on a video call with Marcus, but he’s not bad I guess? Those are getting much closer together by the way.”

“Yeah they are. Is he single?” 

“How the hell should I know, Nat?” Syd laughed, checking the time on her phone against Nat’s contractions.

“I’m just pointing out that you don’t need to live like a nun! It’s still months before we’ll hear anything about the Michelin guide or James Beard. Months is plenty long enough for you to relax a little.”

“Every two minutes. I’m not gonna take my eye off the ball. Not a chance. He’s here for a week, I don’t have the energy to be not-dating someone who lives in Denmark.” 

“It’d be a shame to let that kinda cute pass you by?” Nat giggled, pausing halfway through for a contraction.

“Who’s cute?” Pete asked, coming through the open door, “nice ball.”

“You are, honey. Thanks, Syd found it for me. We’ve been gently encouraging this baby towards the exit and I think -” she held up her hand,

“Deep breath, Nat. It’s gonna pass, just hold on a couple more seconds.” Syd held Nat’s other hand as Pete hovered nervously and Carmy watched from the doorway.

“It’s working.” Nat finished her previous sentence. “It’s close, there’s hardly a break now.”

“I know, very close. I’m gonna call for the nurse, Pete, you wanna help Nat get wherever she’s comfortable?”

“On the ball. Staying here, don’t make me move, Syd?”

“You don’t need to move babe, it’s ok. Pete’s got you now, OK? I’m gonna get your nurse and we’ll see you really soon.” She kissed Nat’s cheek as she got up from the floor and patted Pete’s arm reassuringly. “She wants to move around.” She muttered to Pete in warning before pulling Carmy away from the door and closing it behind them.

“New career?”

“Fuck off,” she laughed, “I need to find a nurse.” She looked both ways down the corridor and headed to the nurses station where she caught the nurse who’d seen them earlier, “It’s go time. Contractions are about a minute and a half apart, she’s on the birthing ball and she wants to stay there.” Syd explained.

“That sounds perfect, I’m on my way. Nice work!” The nurse beamed at her. She and Carmy made their way back to the hard plastic seats and he handed her a breakfast sandwich.

“Oh my god, this looks insane.” Her eyes lit up as she unwrapped the wax paper. “Did you eat?” She asked through her first mouthful. He nodded,

“Showered, changed, let Pete sleep for maybe 30 minutes and then grabbed food on the way back.” 

“Perfect timing, that baby is, like, literally about to arrive.” “You both seemed pretty calm about it?”

“Just trying to keep her busy, talking about other stuff. I’m not saving you any of this, by the way.” She held up her sandwich.

“Heard, Chef. Talking about Luca?”

“She thinks I should ask him out or something.”

“Or something? What’dyou think about that?” He asked curiously. She finished her sandwich and sat back in the seat.

“I think I’m way too busy.” She shrugged. “I’m shadowing this amazing chef, working all the hours I can, I don’t have any spare time at all.” He smiled bashfully and bumped her with his shoulder.

“Good.”

“Good.” She leaned into him and he scrolled through his phone, showing her the pictures he’d taken of the place he’d brought her breakfast from, the messages he and Richie had exchanged about Nat being in the hospital and the Bear group chat which had a bunch of good luck messages for Natalie and Pete. It wasn’t long before Pete emerged, a blissful smile on his face.

“Well?” Carmy asked, sitting bolt upright.

“It’s a girl,” he grinned, his eyes filling with tears, “a little girl! She’s so tiny, she’s 7lbs exactly, she has so much dark blond hair! And blue eyes,” Syd felt her heart fill with love at just hearing about the baby in the next room. “She arrived about an hour ago. Guys, I’m so in love. She’s just being measured and dressed while Nat takes a shower, give it a few minutes and you can come in.” Pete held out his hand to shake but Carmy, tears making their way down his cheeks, pulled the taller man into a hug. 

"That's amazing, dude. Amazing." He dragged a hand down his face. 

"How's Nat?" Syd asked, 

"She's OK. Exhausted, took a lot longer than we thought. I mean, I called you guys at, like, midnight? You've been here for about 7 hours, I'm so sorry." Pete looked torn between guilt and relief.

"Don't be, we wouldn't have missed it." She reassured him, Carmy nodded in agreement. 

"We'll get some sleep before service, Tina's got prep covered."

"Well, we'll be here most of the day I think. I know Nat wants to go home today though."

"Let us know when you're home and we'll come over with some food." Carmy suggested, Syd couldn't help her tired mind lingering on the consistent use of us and we throughout the exchange. 24 hours without sleep - the majority of it spent on her feet and working - she could feel tiredness creeping into her bones. 

"Yeah, that's great. I'd better get back in there, I'll give you a shout when we're ready for you?" He made his way back to Nat and the baby. Syd dug around in her pocket for change for the coffee machine until a five dollar bill was waved in her eye line. 

"Aha, thanks Carm." She fumbled with the machine to get a drink for each of them and then slumped back in her seat. "What's the plan?"

"Back to mine, if you want? Sleep, and then get to the restaurant just before service. Work through, then ditch the farmer's market and sleep instead tomorrow?"

"Promise?"

"Might need to wake up eventually to make something for Nat and Pete, but otherwise, fuck yes."

"I'm just gonna call my dad. Let him know." She pulled out her phone and hurriedly gave him the basics before he left for work. She was just ending the call as Pete came back for them. She pushed Carmy ahead of her with her hand in the small of his back, sensing his apprehension. She could feel him relax against her once he saw Nat smiling at him through tears, 

"Come meet baby bear," she urged them both as they crept into the room. "This is Mila. Mila, this is Uncle Carmy and Auntie Syd." Syd held her breath as she peered over Carmy's shoulder to see the baby, hand still firmly on his back. "Wanna hold her?"

"You first," Carmy suggested, sidestepping to let her in. 

"No fucking way dude, she's your niece."

"What if I do it wrong?" He hissed. Nat was already holding Mila out to him, prompting him to raise his elbow like this and put his other hand like that. She settled the baby into his arms, "Hi sweet girl," he whispered finally, staring at her with matching stormy blue eyes and dark blond curls. 

"The Berzatto genes are strong, sorry Pete!" Syd smiled, 

"No complaints here, she looks like her mama." 

"She's gorgeous," Syd brushed her index finger against Mila's tiny hand and the baby opened her fist to grip the finger. "Same blue eyes as you," she said to Carmy. After a few minutes, he handed the baby to her and she took in the mess of curls and sleepy eyes, "so do all Berzatto's look the same when they're born?" Nat smiled softly, 

"From what I remember of our three baby pictures, yeah."

"Well if it helps, you all grow up pretty cute too. How're you feeling?" 

"Tired, I swear when we called Carmen she was about to arrive. Then everything just stopped for so long, thank you for waiting."

"Of course. Hopefully they'll let you go home later."

"God I hope so, I'd rather do this from my own fucking bed." Nat sighed. Mila grew restless in Syd's arms so she passed her back to Nat. "She'll need feeding again I think."

"We'll leave you guys to it, let you get some rest." Carmy kissed Nat's cheek. "I'll call you later."

~~~~~

#sydcarmy #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy fanfic #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney adamu #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear fic #the bear fx #the bear

[daydreamgoddess14]

Butterflies in my stomach and vagina is so relatable! 😅

I'm so ready!

Me writing Something There ch 10

And ofc May's favorite.....

@agentstarkid ❤️

#he's here he's there he's every fucking where #roy kent something there

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 3

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥 (not this chapter - boooo!)

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Who wants to spend 7 hours at the hospital?!

(I just said to myself that if I post this chapter then I really, really need to get my ass moving on Chapter 4... and then proceeded to post this so I'm going to get on with 4 now, promise!)

~~~~~

Chapter 3

They drove in silence towards the hospital, Syd’s head immediately beginning to refill with restaurant stuff and now also Carmy stuff. She could feel his eyes on her as he kept looking over to her. His phone buzzed in the center console, 

"Would you mind checking that?" He asked. She picked it up, 

"Looks like it's from Pete?"

"Passcode is 1234."

"Wow, you're crying out to get mugged, dude."

"I have no money and nothing to hide, so," he shrugged with a wry smile as she unlocked his phone. 

"Pete said 'nothing happening just yet but Nat needs Mountain Dew and Reeses.' Girl, I hear you."

"There's a 24 hour place near the hospital." The car lurched to the left, "the fuck?" Carmy pulled over and jumped out. Syd heard a dull thud on the roof as Carmy’s hand whacked the metal. She nudged the window down, 

"You good?"

"We got a flat. I need to call trip A." She stepped out of the car, 

"Do you have a spare?"

"Not a fucking clue, Richie's probably sold it." She opened the trunk, cleared away some of the crap inside and lifted the carpet panel. She held her breath and could feel Carmy doing the same next to her. Tucked into the recess, she was relieved to see the spare tire, a jack and a wrench.

"Thank fuck he didn't." She sighed. He pulled the tire out and they got to work replacing the flat. 

"You know how to do this?" He asked, impressed. 

"OK, so quick story time, my mom and dad went on a date once - like they hadn't been dating for long, and he got a flat. He had no clue what he was doing so he made out like it was something serious," He jacked the car up while she loosened the bolts, "she got out the car, changed the flat in, like, seconds and then got back in as if nothin' had happened. My dad was totally stunned," he pulled the flat off and she replaced it with the spare, "her dad was a mechanic and he had no idea. So once he'd learned how to do it himself, dad made sure I knew how to do it as well." Carmy tightened the bolts.

"Sounds like she made a big impression on him."

"She did. There's never been anyone else for him, even after all this time." They jumped back into the car and Carmy eased back onto the road. 

"No one from his dance classes?"

"Dance classes, quiz team, poker nights, work, family friends… you name it. He refuses to be set up with anyone. He says I'm like her."

"Determined?"

"Good at changing a flat." She joked. Within minutes, he'd pulled up at the 24 hour store. Syd piled handfuls of candy and sodas into his arms as he followed her around the store, noting that she'd picked up both of their favorites as well as Nat's. "Right, let's go wait for your niece or nephew to be fashionably late?"

~~~~~

Fashionably late was an understatement. Syd was certain that she'd sat in the cold, uncomfortable plastic chairs for so long that she'd imagined everything that had happened in the office. It was all some sleep deprived fever dream her mind had conjured up to taunt her with. Fueled by sour gummy sweets, she'd arranged for Tina and Connor to run prep that morning. If the baby hadn't arrived before lunch service, she'd planned to take Carmy's car to the restaurant and work alongside Richie. The evening would have to wait until later to figure out. While she tried to decide if the images in her mind from earlier were a dream or a memory, she felt him stir next to her in the seat. His head had fallen into the curve of her neck while he'd slept. She felt the brush of his nose behind her ear, followed by a kiss. 

"D'ya sleep?"

"No. I sorted out tomorrow. Today. Whatever, it's covered til this evening at least and I'll burn that bridge when I get to it." He slumped in the chair and checked messages from Richie asking for an update. 

"Richie?"

"I spoke to him while you were asleep, he knows what's happening. Can I ask you something?" He turned to face her, a small nod urging her to continue. "Were you really coming to see me that night?" A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

"Yeah. I uh, I'd been thinking since the walk-in about How good we were. How good you were. Or are now, I guess. I was gonna go all in on," he gestured between them, "all of this - the restaurant, the stars. I needed you to know that you have my full focus."

"At 3am?"

"It was important to me that you knew."

"Looks like we were on the same page." 

"As usual. You should sleep. I'll see if Pete wants to switch." He yawned. 

"I'm OK. You wanna go change, take a shower?"

"With you?" He asked, hopefully. 

"Alone. For now. If Pete needs a break too, someone needs to be here for Nat." She smiled shyly. "But, y’know, good to know that earlier wasn't some weird fucking delirious dream."

"I'm gonna need to hear more about these dreams -" 

"Hey guys, Nat's asked me to take a break. I’m stressing her out." Pete came out with a tired smile before Carmy could say anymore. 

"You need to eat something, and you need to sleep for a couple hours." Syd told him

"Ahh I don't want to leave her for too long." 

"You don't have to," Carmy assured him. "I'll get you back here in an hour if you wanna skip the sleep part?" He looked torn.

"Dude, you can't look after Nat if you're starving and exhausted." Syd warned him. 

"You're right. And you'll stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere." She promised. 

"I'll go tell her." He said gratefully. When they'd been left alone again, Carmy turned to Syd.

"Sure you're good to stay? Thought you hated hospitals?"

"Well turns out the Berzatto's are very persuasive."

"We can be."

"And Nat has called me a genius before so I feel like she already likes me more than you." 

“That’s guaranteed. You don’t piss her off half as much as I do.” He checked over her shoulder for Pete’s reappearance before kissing her softly. “You need anything?” As if on command, her stomach rumbled loudly. 

“Food, please.” She sniggered, hiding her face in his collar. “What time is it? What meal is it?” She checked her phone to see 4am glaring at her.

“I’ll find you something, I’ll be back with breakfast.” He gave her some space as Pete returned with his coat, barely noticing their proximity.

“OK, let’s make this quick.” He sighed, “thanks Sydney.”

“No problem, Pete. I’ll see you guys later.” She went straight in to Nat, not wanting to leave her on her own purely so she could watch Carmy leave.

~~~~~

The tired blond smiled as she entered, but the toll of the evening was written all over her face. “Oh, Nat.” Syd sighed. “How you holding up?”

“Thank god you’re here. Pete’s great but I need to vent and he’s just being too nice. I feel like I can’t even yell at him, it’s like kicking a puppy.”

“I’m all yours, have at it.”

“I fucking hurt all over and I’m so fucking tired and I swear to god if someone doesn’t pull this baby from my fucking body right now then it can just fucking stay there and I’ll go back to work and it just stays there forever.” She growled as another contraction gripped her.

“Wow. OK, if that’s what you wanna do then I’ll bust you outta here right now. We’ll get back to work, help Tina with prep and get you serving tables by lunchtime?” Nat glared at her. “Can you even get up? Will they let you?”

“I’m not really clear on what I can do, no one is telling me anything except ‘be patient, baby will get here when they’re ready’. Be patient? Be fucking patient?”

“Are you hooked up to any machines or anything?” Syd looked around the bed but couldn’t see anything. “Doesn’t look like it. Wanna go for a walk?” Nat looked up suddenly,

“Really? Pete didn’t think it was a good idea.” She frowned.

“Your body, your rules. What’s it telling you?” 

“To stretch my legs.”

“So let's do it.” Syd held out her hands and Nat turned on the bed so that her feet hung over the side. She wiggled further forward on the bed, hanging onto Syd’s hands until her wooly socked feet hit the ground. She beamed at Syd, instantly looking more relaxed. “There’s the Nat I know. Come on, we’ll just have a little walk around this little area.” Syd propped open the door with a chair and held out her arm for Nat to take her elbow. They walked slowly through the deserted corridors to the elevators, past the nurses station, to the vending machines and back again doing a little loop. They paused occasionally for Nat’s contractions, but she didn’t want to stop. 

“Thought you were gonna get bed sores from sittin’ down all day!” A nurse called out as she passed them on their third loop. 

“I ditched the overprotective husband for an hour.” Nat smiled.

“Told you a walk would feel good. I was about to come and get you up anyway. Mind if I have a feel?” She gestured to Nat’s bump, Nat shrugged in agreement as the nurse placed her firm hands on Nat’s stomach. “Feels good, I think baby will be a little more energized after a walk.” She confirmed. “Head back if you feel unwell, I’m not birthing this baby in a corridor though, yeah?” Nat agreed and they carried on walking.

“How’s it feel?” Syd asked.

“Y’know Christmas?” Nat grimaced as they paused again, 

“Uhh yeah?”

“When you have to move fucking everything in your house to make room for a gigantic fucking tree that just sits there for weeks and then you have to get rid of it and put all the furniture back to where it was before?”

“Yeah?”

“Like that.”

“That’s fucked, Nat.” Syd laughed. Her loud laugh in the quiet corridor made Nat laugh until she was doubled over and clinging to Syd. 

“Oww! Fuck, OK no more laughing.”

“Yep, no more. Wanna head back to bed?”

“Yeah, time to take this fucking Christmas tree down.” They giggled as Syd guided Nat back past the elevators and to her room. Back in the room, Nat spotted a yoga ball that had been shoved in a corner, “lemme at that thing.” Syd placed it behind Nat and held it in place with her feet, using her hands to guide Nat to sit on the ball. She bounced gently on the spot,

“Yeah?” “Yeah, feels good.”

“Good. Let’s hope that was a good enough eviction notice.” They talked quietly while Nat bounced on the birthing ball, with Syd explaining the plans for the fall menu and the expected visit from Luca. 

“He’s cute, if I remember correctly?” Nat asked, distracting herself from the pain of another contraction.

“I’ve seen him once on a video call with Marcus, but he’s not bad I guess? Those are getting much closer together by the way.”

“Yeah they are. Is he single?” 

“How the hell should I know, Nat?” Syd laughed, checking the time on her phone against Nat’s contractions.

“I’m just pointing out that you don’t need to live like a nun! It’s still months before we’ll hear anything about the Michelin guide or James Beard. Months is plenty long enough for you to relax a little.”

“Every two minutes. I’m not gonna take my eye off the ball. Not a chance. He’s here for a week, I don’t have the energy to be not-dating someone who lives in Denmark.” 

“It’d be a shame to let that kinda cute pass you by?” Nat giggled, pausing halfway through for a contraction.

“Who’s cute?” Pete asked, coming through the open door, “nice ball.”

“You are, honey. Thanks, Syd found it for me. We’ve been gently encouraging this baby towards the exit and I think -” she held up her hand,

“Deep breath, Nat. It’s gonna pass, just hold on a couple more seconds.” Syd held Nat’s other hand as Pete hovered nervously and Carmy watched from the doorway.

“It’s working.” Nat finished her previous sentence. “It’s close, there’s hardly a break now.”

“I know, very close. I’m gonna call for the nurse, Pete, you wanna help Nat get wherever she’s comfortable?”

“On the ball. Staying here, don’t make me move, Syd?”

“You don’t need to move babe, it’s ok. Pete’s got you now, OK? I’m gonna get your nurse and we’ll see you really soon.” She kissed Nat’s cheek as she got up from the floor and patted Pete’s arm reassuringly. “She wants to move around.” She muttered to Pete in warning before pulling Carmy away from the door and closing it behind them.

“New career?”

“Fuck off,” she laughed, “I need to find a nurse.” She looked both ways down the corridor and headed to the nurses station where she caught the nurse who’d seen them earlier, “It’s go time. Contractions are about a minute and a half apart, she’s on the birthing ball and she wants to stay there.” Syd explained.

“That sounds perfect, I’m on my way. Nice work!” The nurse beamed at her. She and Carmy made their way back to the hard plastic seats and he handed her a breakfast sandwich.

“Oh my god, this looks insane.” Her eyes lit up as she unwrapped the wax paper. “Did you eat?” She asked through her first mouthful. He nodded,

“Showered, changed, let Pete sleep for maybe 30 minutes and then grabbed food on the way back.” 

“Perfect timing, that baby is, like, literally about to arrive.” “You both seemed pretty calm about it?”

“Just trying to keep her busy, talking about other stuff. I’m not saving you any of this, by the way.” She held up her sandwich.

“Heard, Chef. Talking about Luca?”

“She thinks I should ask him out or something.”

“Or something? What’dyou think about that?” He asked curiously. She finished her sandwich and sat back in the seat.

“I think I’m way too busy.” She shrugged. “I’m shadowing this amazing chef, working all the hours I can, I don’t have any spare time at all.” He smiled bashfully and bumped her with his shoulder.

“Good.”

“Good.” She leaned into him and he scrolled through his phone, showing her the pictures he’d taken of the place he’d brought her breakfast from, the messages he and Richie had exchanged about Nat being in the hospital and the Bear group chat which had a bunch of good luck messages for Natalie and Pete. It wasn’t long before Pete emerged, a blissful smile on his face.

“Well?” Carmy asked, sitting bolt upright.

“It’s a girl,” he grinned, his eyes filling with tears, “a little girl! She’s so tiny, she’s 7lbs exactly, she has so much dark blond hair! And blue eyes,” Syd felt her heart fill with love at just hearing about the baby in the next room. “She arrived about an hour ago. Guys, I’m so in love. She’s just being measured and dressed while Nat takes a shower, give it a few minutes and you can come in.” Pete held out his hand to shake but Carmy, tears making their way down his cheeks, pulled the taller man into a hug. 

"That's amazing, dude. Amazing." He dragged a hand down his face. 

"How's Nat?" Syd asked, 

"She's OK. Exhausted, took a lot longer than we thought. I mean, I called you guys at, like, midnight? You've been here for about 7 hours, I'm so sorry." Pete looked torn between guilt and relief.

"Don't be, we wouldn't have missed it." She reassured him, Carmy nodded in agreement. 

"We'll get some sleep before service, Tina's got prep covered."

"Well, we'll be here most of the day I think. I know Nat wants to go home today though."

"Let us know when you're home and we'll come over with some food." Carmy suggested, Syd couldn't help her tired mind lingering on the consistent use of us and we throughout the exchange. 24 hours without sleep - the majority of it spent on her feet and working - she could feel tiredness creeping into her bones. 

"Yeah, that's great. I'd better get back in there, I'll give you a shout when we're ready for you?" He made his way back to Nat and the baby. Syd dug around in her pocket for change for the coffee machine until a five dollar bill was waved in her eye line. 

"Aha, thanks Carm." She fumbled with the machine to get a drink for each of them and then slumped back in her seat. "What's the plan?"

"Back to mine, if you want? Sleep, and then get to the restaurant just before service. Work through, then ditch the farmer's market and sleep instead tomorrow?"

"Promise?"

"Might need to wake up eventually to make something for Nat and Pete, but otherwise, fuck yes."

"I'm just gonna call my dad. Let him know." She pulled out her phone and hurriedly gave him the basics before he left for work. She was just ending the call as Pete came back for them. She pushed Carmy ahead of her with her hand in the small of his back, sensing his apprehension. She could feel him relax against her once he saw Nat smiling at him through tears, 

"Come meet baby bear," she urged them both as they crept into the room. "This is Mila. Mila, this is Uncle Carmy and Auntie Syd." Syd held her breath as she peered over Carmy's shoulder to see the baby, hand still firmly on his back. "Wanna hold her?"

"You first," Carmy suggested, sidestepping to let her in. 

"No fucking way dude, she's your niece."

"What if I do it wrong?" He hissed. Nat was already holding Mila out to him, prompting him to raise his elbow like this and put his other hand like that. She settled the baby into his arms, "Hi sweet girl," he whispered finally, staring at her with matching stormy blue eyes and dark blond curls. 

"The Berzatto genes are strong, sorry Pete!" Syd smiled, 

"No complaints here, she looks like her mama." 

"She's gorgeous," Syd brushed her index finger against Mila's tiny hand and the baby opened her fist to grip the finger. "Same blue eyes as you," she said to Carmy. After a few minutes, he handed the baby to her and she took in the mess of curls and sleepy eyes, "so do all Berzatto's look the same when they're born?" Nat smiled softly, 

"From what I remember of our three baby pictures, yeah."

"Well if it helps, you all grow up pretty cute too. How're you feeling?" 

"Tired, I swear when we called Carmen she was about to arrive. Then everything just stopped for so long, thank you for waiting."

"Of course. Hopefully they'll let you go home later."

"God I hope so, I'd rather do this from my own fucking bed." Nat sighed. Mila grew restless in Syd's arms so she passed her back to Nat. "She'll need feeding again I think."

"We'll leave you guys to it, let you get some rest." Carmy kissed Nat's cheek. "I'll call you later."

~~~~~

#sydcarmy #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy fanfic #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney adamu #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear fic #the bear fx #the bear

[daydreamgoddess14]

"Yeah syd yeah we gonna get that fucking star why dont you move in???"

Me: 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼

hahahaaaaa!! The things that he just says without even thinking 🤦‍♀️

#answered

[daydreamgoddess14]

Thank you!! 😘

Everything More Than Anything pt. 1

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto, R rated in future chapters.

Syd works out what she needs to do to get those stars she's dreaming of. Carmy works out what he needs to do to support her.

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

In case there’s ever any doubt, knocking on your boss/partner’s door at 3am is never a good idea. Especially when you didn’t actually say goodbye until way past midnight. And he drove you home, and you’ve since undone that goodwill by getting up and walking to his apartment in the middle of the night… Syd considered. Sure, she had pepper spray and a swiss army knife, but she knew this would make him mad as hell. Still, she didn’t care. It wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision either. She’d undertaken specific, strategic research… and then she’d also tossed and turned for the best part of three hours until it became crystal clear what she needed to do, and she didn’t want to wait til 7am to have to tell him.

She’d taken food to Marcus. Trying to make amends, bury a hatchet, get back into his good books… whatever it was, she did it via the route she knew best. Through food. She’d taken the most gorgeous tagine over, warmed it for him, and sat while he ate. Still stilted, their conversation didn’t flow as naturally as it usually did. Their silences stretched out into awkwardness rather than comfort. She was almost relieved when he went to check on his mom, leaving her alone in the kitchen and nursing a mountain of couscous. His phone on the counter had rumbled across the surface with a call. LUCA, the screen flashed. She answered it almost on autopilot, “Hey man, how you doin’?” The figure on the phone wasn’t looking to the camera but at what looked like a tray of perfectly identical pastry cases. He did a double take at the sound of her voice.

“Uhhh hi. Marcus is just out of the room, he’ll be back in a sec?”

“You must be Sydney?” He grinned, she could have cursed, another pretty blond boy and their… eyes. Excellent.

“I am, Luca? Nice to meet you, kinda.”

“You too. Kinda. Have you been looking after my good friend Marcus?”

“Well. I’m trying,” his frown matched hers,

“Everything ok?”

“Long story. I’m sure you’ll hear his side of it.” “I already have.”

“Ahh,” 

“He’ll be ok.” He assured her. She suddenly felt a desperate need to change the subject, 

“So you knew baby Carmy, huh?”

“Yeah, we were just scruffy kids. I was scruffier.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” She replied with an arched eyebrow,

“S’true. And I got more deranged the harder I tried to keep up with him.” He laughed. Something fired in Syd’s brain,

“Say more?”

“I was telling Marcus when he was here. I thought I was the shit, y’know? The golden balls. Then, I had a few days trying to keep up with Carmen, and I was in pieces. Spent the rest of my time watching, learning… trying to keep up with him. It made me a good chef, and I got a really good mate out of it as well. Eventually, anyway. Once we’d stopped trying to kill each other.”

“You didn’t get better than him?”

“Nooo, god no. Not better than him. No one is better than him. Except maybe you, from what I’ve heard.” 

“Heard from who?” She asked curiously.

“Marcus, Terry… the man himself.”

“Now I know that’s a lie, he doesn’t answer his phone.” She cackled.

“He does to a select few. The important people in his life.” She thought back to the last few times she’d called Carmy since he’d emerged from the walk-in. Just stupid ‘what about this?’ kind of calls. He’d picked up before the first ring had even completed every time, answered every text. “We all talk, you know? Not all that often, but we keep up. It’s one thing we’ve never lost from our time with Terry. It’s like she honed in on the fact that we both had shit relationships with our parents and made sure we had her instead.”

“She sounds nice. I was really fucking jealous when Richie got to stage for her.”

“Nah, you should catch her for a cuppa - it’s much more fun. No milk, no sugar.” He advised. “So, I also know through the grapevine that you’re chasing stars?” Syd rolled her eyes, making a mental note to kill Marcus. Or Carmy. One of them, at least. 

“He’s such a little gossip!” She grumbled, “I just think it would be nice.”

“It would, you should go for it. And from what I’ve heard, The Bear is capable of getting them. I’m looking forward to a visit - there’s only so many times I can listen to how good you are. Plus it’s been a long time since Carm cooked for me.” Marcus came back through and took in Syd on the phone to Luca,

“Well, you’ll be welcome anytime. Marcus is here, I’ll let you off the hook now. It was good to meet you.”

“You too. Good luck with the stars.” She handed the phone over to Marcus and went back to her couscous, her mind ticking over.

~~~~~

The conversation with Luca had set things in motion in her brain. Three days later, she found herself loitering outside Ever on her way to work. Every day for a week she took the same route until she saw a figure emerge.

“Excuse me?”

“We don’t have any job openings. Check the website.”

“I’m not here for a job. My… friend, Richie, did a week here a few weeks ago? And my business partner, Carmen, knows Chef Terry and -”

“You’re Sydney?” Her jaw dropped,

“Uhh… yeah? I mean, yes, I didn’t mean that as a question,” she stammered, “that is me, I am her.”

“Richie talked about you a lot, and of course I know of Carmen. I’m Garrett.” The young man held out his hand and shook hers. “You coming in? I take it you’re here to see Chef Terry?” He asked, holding the door open on his way back inside. Though taken aback, Syd didn’t hesitate in following him. He gave her a whistle stop tour of the restaurant and kitchens before leaving her with Jess briefly.

“How’s Richie?”

“He’s good. Really good, actually.” “We miss him. Tell him I said hi?”

“Of course. You guys should come for dinner?” Syd invited,

“Oh god, absolutely. Garrett, Syd said we should go to The Bear.”

“We definitely should. Terry can’t see you today, she said she’s sorry, but she’s got a free hour tomorrow morning if you wanted to help her prep?” 

“Yes. Of course, I’ll be here. 6am?”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you outside.” She gave Jess a small wave and continued on to The Bear to start her day. The conversation with Luca and the quick preview of Ever buzzing in her mind, she felt like a bundle of nerves all day.

“Cariño, you good?” Tina asked as Syd’s knife narrowly missed her finger on its way to the onion she was making a poor attempt at chopping.

“Yeah, T. I’m fine.”

“Boy trouble?” She could feel Carmy, Richie and Ebra all raise their eyes as inconspicuously as possible. Thank fuck Marcus was at an appointment with his mother and Fak was under the pot wash sink.

“Fuck no. No time for that, mama.” She smiled down at Tina who was glaring at Ebra.

“Baby, you should make time for that. You’re like… buzzing. You should get laid.”

“Maybe she should keep buzzin’ an’ that’s the answer!” Richie called over,

“Ay, mind your business Richard! I ain’t talking to you right now, I’m trying to make sure this lady is getting what she needs.” Tina pointed at Richie with her knife.

“I’m just sayin’! She don't need a man, right Syd? Just some decent batteries.”

“Richie, shut the fuck up please. Tina, can we not be having this conversation right now?”

“Hey, it’s all good - you have needs, we all have needs. Might help you relax a little, y’know what I’m sayin’? You're very on edge.” Tina clicked her tongue between her teeth with a wicked grin. Syd scooped up her onions and dumped them into the empty container. 

“Behind.” She stuck her tongue out childishly at Tina and moved around her to the walk-in. With the onions on a shelf, she brought her hands up to her flushed cheeks. Eternally grateful her blushes weren’t broadcast to the world, only she could feel how hot her face felt. She fanned herself with her hand and took a minute.

“Behind, Chef.” Carmy stepped into the chiller with a container of mushrooms. “You ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Good to know there’s no escape from the probing mother figure. Poor Louis.” She grimaced at the thought of Tina’s teenage son trying to hide his sex life from her.

“She’s just looking out for you.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure then that she wouldn’t be encouraging… the things that she’s encouraging. But whatever. Either way, I still have no time.” Syd mused before realizing that they were still on Tina’s topic of conversation. “Thank fuck no one knows when I’m blushing.” She muttered, hand on the door to leave,

“I do.”

“Sorry?”

“I can tell when you’re embarrassed. You uhh become very interested in your shoes, and you pull your collar.” He explained, reaching out to put her jacket collar back into place. Her hands were fighting to stay away from it. True to form though, her shoes became very interesting indeed. 

“Didn’t know you were some kind of fuckin’ body language expert,” she huffed a laugh and left him in the walk-in.

~~~~~

The following morning, Syd waited outside with three takeout cups. As Garrett pushed the door, she handed him one.

“Coffee, to thank you for this.” “Nothing to thank me for. Come with me.” He raised the cup in salute and guided her down the previous day's familiar corridors.

“Sydney Adamu. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” A cheerful voice said as she rounded the corner. Garrett had disappeared already.

“Chef Terry, it’s… it’s an honor to meet you.” Syd put the takeout cups down and held out her hand, only to be pulled into a warm hug.

“You too, darling. Grab a sprig, we’re doing rosemary and basil.” She pointed to the bench where there was already a space out for Syd. 

“Thank you. I got you tea - no milk, no sugar.”

“Then it’s perfect. And very kind of you, thank you.” Syd picked up a bunch of rosemary and set about plucking the tiny leaves from the stalks. “I don’t pull them or drag them, I want the leaf to remain perfect.” Terry explained to Syd. “So tell me, how’s my boy doing?”

“Carmy? Well, I don’t know what your baseline is -”

“He was working for me shortly after his mother drove a car into their dining room.”

“Oh,” Syd realized she didn’t know that story, that there was so much she didn’t know. “Pretty low then?” “Pretty low,” Terry smiled.

“He managed to get locked in our walk-in on our soft open night a few weeks ago.”

“An interesting ploy to get out of appearing in front of the diners.” She chuckled. “Hmm. Broke up with his girlfriend while he was in there.”

“Ouch.”

“And since then, touch wood,” Syd brought a hand to her head like her mother had used to do, “he’s been better, I think? Calmer, more present. Like he’s really trying.”

“There’s a very big difference between the way he used to work in New York to the way I know he wants to work.”

“Yeah, we both don’t want that toxic, shouty,”

“Aggressive, demeaning,”

“All of that - we don’t want that, like, at all.” Syd emphasized, “sometimes it feels impossible, but we’re trying.”

“He’s told me about all of you, you know? How much he cares for you all and believes in you.”

“I think he needs to understand how much we want that for him too?” Syd paused with a sprig of Rosemary in her hand. Terry did the same with her knife hovering over a bunch of basil. “I swear he thinks he’s still alone, and he’s trying to keep all the plates spinning and… it’s a lot.”

“I agree.” She said finally. “It’s hard to convince someone they deserve to be loved or that they're not alone.” She said ruefully. “Is that why you’re here?”

“No. Yes? I’m not really sure. Luca suggested I meet you.” Syd shrugged,

“Ahh, my other brilliant young man. That reminds me, I need to call him.”

“He’d heard that I want us to go for stars at The Bear.”

“Well, I can’t advise you on how to get them, exactly.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to.” Syd assured her, “I guess I want to understand Carmy better? We seem to have this… unspoken language, and I want to build on it, and there’s so much I want to learn from him, but also I want him to learn as well? Sometimes, I feel like I should try and be more patient with him, but then he does stupid stuff that makes me want to kill him.”

“Oh I know that feeling all too well! The best thing you can do is to make your relationship airtight. The stars we earned here were earned together because we listened to each other and learned from each other.” Syd nodded in agreement,

“Exactly. He kept telling me the stars were bullshit, we didn’t need them, and why would I want them. Like I’m the only one who wants them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with ambition, Sydney. In fact, it suits you beautifully.” Syd smiled, bashful under Terry’s praise.

“I want them for both of us. I kind of want them so that I can use them to beat Carmy with for the rest of our lives to say, I dunno, ‘look what we can achieve when we believe in each other’? Because I do, I believe in him.” She said earnestly.

“I can tell.”

“He spoke to everyone I’d worked for in the past to understand why I wanted to work at the Beef.”

“Did he find the answer he was looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“And what is the answer?”

“I wanted to work with him.” Terry smiled knowingly.

“Yes. He certainly has that effect.” She set down her knife and picked up her tea instead. “Keep doing what you’re doing, Sydney. He’s a total pain in the arse sometimes, but he’s worth the work.”

“Oh he is absolutely the biggest pain in my ass. Even more than Richie most of the time.” Terry laughed,

“You seem to have a good handle on them. Here, come and see this before I have to go,” she took Syd’s arm and led her down a walkway between the kitchen areas to a photograph on the wall of Carmy and Luca. “My lost boys. I am immensely proud of them.” She said fondly.

“He’s worth the work.” Syd said firmly, mostly to herself.

“He is. And so are you. I cannot wait to try your food. He tells me you’re the best he’s ever seen.” Syd scoffed,

“Oh, be serious right now.”

“I am, darling. I promise. He believes in you. I don’t think those stars are too far out of reach.” She patted Syd’s arm. “Now, I have to get back to work. Thank you for the tea. I hope you got what you needed from our time together?”

“I think I did, thank you, Chef Terry. Thank you for making time for me.”

“I would say anytime, but we both know that’s impossible in this profession. I’ll just say don’t be a stranger instead.”

“You too. He’d love to see you at The Bear, we both would.” As if by magic, Garrett appeared at the end of the corridor. Terry hugged Syd once more and disappeared around the corner. 

“Nice morning?”

“Why does it feel like I just met the Wizard of Oz? Or, like, Willy Wonka? How is she so cool and mysterious?” He smiled as he showed her out, 

“She’s Terry. She’s the best and she likes looking after the people she cares about. It was great to meet you, Syd. We’ll see you again soon.” He closed the door, leaving the building looking like an impenetrable fortress.

~~~~~

She rattled through another day at The Bear on edge, trying to decipher the things she’d learned over the course of the last couple of weeks. On the third attempt of placing a tiny flower onto a starter plate, she threw her tweezers with a groan of frustration.

"Ugggh, fuck me!"

“Breathe mija, breathe.” Tina set a hand on her arm. Syd nodded and stepped back while Tina gently dropped the flower into place. 

“Hands please.” Syd called out once the plate was completed, throwing a grateful look to her Sous.

“Try tellin’ me you don’t need an earth shakin’, mind blowing -”

“Tina, I beg you, do not finish that sentence.” Syd dragged her collar away from her neck, 

“Works wonders for your concentration.” The older woman wiggled her eyebrows.

“Please. Stop.” Syd hissed as Tina moved onto her next task. With a heavy sigh, she locked eyes with Carmy on the expo as he tried to hide a smile behind his hand. “Don’t you fucking start.” She warned.

And now here she was at 3am on Carmy’s doorstep. Another night owl had let her into the main building as they headed out for a run so she’d tiptoed up five flights of stairs and knocked loudly enough to wake him but not so loud it was disruptive to anyone else. The door flung open before she’d dropped her hand and he was pulling on a jacket,

“Woah, fuck -”

“Are you… are you going out? At 3am?”

“I was coming to see you. Wait, how’d you get here?” “Walked?”

“At 3am?” He pulled her into the apartment by her elbow. “Anything could have happened to you?”

“Why were you coming to see me?” She asked defiantly. “Why were you coming to see me?” He replied, avoiding the question completely.

“I need you,” she pleaded. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline,

“Is this… is this about what Tina was saying?” He asked quietly.

“What? No! Oh my god, Carmen! Is that why you think I’m here right now?”

“It’s 3am, Syd. It’s a pretty reasonable guess?”

“No, it is not a reasonable guess! There is… there is nothing reasonable about that guess!” Syd looked mortified.

“Well, look. Okay, thanks for that - thanks a lot -”

“Wait, I didn’t mean that it would be, like, horrible or anything! I didn’t say that, I’m sure it would be great…” She wrung her hands and sighed, trailing off into embarrassment. “Let me start over?” He nodded. 

“Good idea.”

“Hi, sorry to disturb you at 3am. I had an epiphany, and I needed your help.”

“I was up anyway. What can I do?”

"I know what I need to do for us to get those stars," she held her hands up as he started to protest, "I know, we don't need them, they're bullshit, blah blah blah."

"Blah blah blah?"

"I know what you're going to say, Carm. I know you think they're worthless"

"You know a lot, huh?" He said with a smile. 

"More than you give me credit for." She retorted. 

"Syd -"

"Carm. Please. I don't want it for me, I want it for us. I want it because we deserve it and we worked for it."

"What's your epiphany?"

"I need to care about everything, more than anything,” He arched an eyebrow,

“Well… yeah, I distinctly remember telling you that already?”

“I need to learn from you. Like, not just learn, I need to do what Luca did. Get better just by being near you." Both of his hands threaded through his hair and came to rest behind his head. She felt her stomach swoop. “I need to shadow you or something -”

"You are better. You don't need me, Syd."

"I do. I really do. I want you to help me make sure that we do this right. I get you've done the whole suffering for your art thing, but I want us and our team to thrive, not suffer." He fell quiet and watched her closely. "I don't want us to go through the same shit we went through before. We do this right and learn from each other and that is how we care about it more than anything else - by caring for everyone in it." He nodded. 

"Family style. A good, supportive family."

"Yes!” She beamed, “Yes, exactly.”

“OK.”

“And I'm gonna pretty much live in your pocket and you're gonna get so sick of me spending every fucking waking hour with you -"

"I said OK. And I won't get sick of you. Fuck, move in if that's what it takes." 

"Seriously?"

"We will do whatever it takes and we'll do it together. But I swear to god, Syd, while you're watching for fucking stars I'm gonna be watching you. Y'hear me? The second you're not eating or sleeping, I'm gonna be on your ass and we stop. And it takes as long as it takes. It’s not a goddamn race."

"Fine, yes. I'm in."

"It's not gonna be easy?" He warned. "Gets harder every year."

"Good. I know we can do it." He dropped his arms to his sides with a shrug. 

"Ok. Where'dya want to start?"

~~~~~

Phew! This is probably the longest I've gone without posting anything since the early summer! 😅 I couldn't hold off any longer. Fandom seems so quiet at the moment with shows finishing and others on a break... Just trying to keep us all busy and content until we have news!

Let me know what you think, would love so much to hear from you! 💜

#thank you #grateful for every reader 😘

[daydreamgoddess14]

A visual representation of me thinking I haven't had many requests through.... and then checking my inbox and realising quite the opposite 😅

Better get started! And of course I'm still taking requests! 🥰

Kinktober / Flufftober / 300 Followers Celebration 2023

Here we go gang! List below of ships, followed by some prompts. Let me know what you're in the mood for and from October 1st it's go time!

Just a word of note, I'm relatively new to writing smut so my prompt list is pretty vanilla - with a few exceptions to help/allow me to broaden my writing a little bit. I've also sprinkled in a couple of Flufftober prompts as well... I guess I'm just pointing out that I'm sure there are other outlets and avenues if you want something more hardcore than I'm offering here.

We don't kink shame here - there are just things that I wouldn't have the faintest idea where to start or what to write! Or things that I'm definitely not googling 😂

Under the cut for the NSFW goodies 👀

Ships:

Sydcarmy

TedBecca

Roy Kent x Reader

Josh x Donna (West Wing)

Garvez (Criminal Minds)

Jonah x Amy (Superstore)

Happy to give any others a go if there's any in particular you think I should try?

Prompts:

Roleplay

Praise Kink

Public

Spanking

Bondage

Edgeplay

Masturbation

Oral

Overstimulation

Lingerie

First Kiss

Meet the Parents

Cooking/Sharing Food

Bathing

Texts/email

Free choice - no promises but I'll see what I can rustle up if there's something on your mind 😈

Hopefully there's something in there you might want to read... let me know, my inbox is always open & I love hearing from you guys! 💜

#kinktober #flufftober #300 followers #sydcarmy #sydcarmy fanfic #tedbecca #tedbecca fanfic #roy kent #roy kent fanfic #josh x donna #josh x donna fanfic #garvez #garvez fanfiction #amy x jonah #superstore #the west wing #criminal minds #the bear fic #ted lasso fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent smut #ted lasso smut #sydcarmy smut #sydcarmy fluff #tedbecca fluff #roy kent fluff #superstore fanfic

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 2

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

~~~~~

Syd's brain is in overdrive, she needs some help with the mental load...

Chapter 2

With Carmy finally on board, Syd threw herself into work more than ever before. The crew rose to the challenge they'd set them, and were improving day by day. Some days though, chaos reigned no matter how hard she tried. The turnover time on a handful of tables was too short, they had diners arriving for tables which were still in use - a nightmare for an already too busy Saturday night. Richie had handed over expo to Carmy so he could deal with the front of house noise, leaving Syd and Tina both covering his station. 

"I need to fire the dessert right now for table 4 and 8 please, Marcus."

"Yes, Chef."

"Are those the two tables waiting to turnover?" Syd called over, 

"Richie's waxing, don't worry. They'll be sitting in 20. Yes Marcus?" Carmy confirmed, pushing Marcus for the desserts.

"Heard, Chef. Plating now."

"Excellent, thank you. Can I have hands ready to go please. 4 and 8, let's go." Syd watched Carmy direct the expo with ease, unperturbed by the additional stress of the first cover's late arrival and the second's early arrival.

"Hate it when people are late."

"Early is just as bad."

"Early gets a drink at the bar. Late pisses everyone off." She reasoned. 

"It's done. Let's move on, I've got 3 halibut and 5 salmon all day?'

"3 halibut, 5 salmon all day, Chef." She confirmed,

"Behind, Jeff," Tina called out at the same time, brushing just a hair too close to Syd and catching her wrist with the hot pan. 

"Shit," Syd gasped, the pain taking her breath away, 

"Baby, I'm so sorry! Fuck, let's get you under some water, honey -"

"It's OK, you carry on. Marcus, can you plate these please?" Syd stepped away from her fish as Marcus moved into her space. Carmy was already running the faucet so she plunged her hand straight under the water flow. Her eyes screwed up, she grimaced in pain as Carmy took her hand and turned it over to check the burn. 

"Looks nasty. Keep it under there," he instructed. "Let's get 2 of those halibut and 1 salmon ready to pick up, Marcus. Followed by 3 salmon."

"Yes, Chef. You good, Syd?"

"Fine Marcus, thanks. The first salmon is SOS, please."

"You got it, Chef."

"You good?" He asked quietly by her side, 

"Sure." She breathed out through pursed lips, pain still evident on her face. She went to move her hand from the water, but his firm grip still holding it kept her from doing so.

"Not yet. Still hurts?" She nodded, "so keep it there." He said firmly. 

"That's new 4 and 8 seated. Order coming on now." Richie moved through the kitchen, 

"Thanks, cousin, are they happy?"

"Nothing a couple of free margaritas won't cure."

"Fucking heard, Chef." Syd agreed, teeth still gritted against the pain. 

"Ouch, burn baby burn? I'll save you a marg, Syd. Tequila will take all your pain away, honey." Richie bounced her shoulder sympathetically as he passed. She stood with her hand under the water for 10 long minutes with Carmy checking in periodically, mostly to make sure she hadn't moved. 

"My fingers are numb, can I move now?" She asked, he nodded as his pen flew across the table information and crossed off the latest table completed.

"Yeah, c’mere," he turned to draw her in and pulled the first aid kit from under the table. He took out the burn ointment and smeared some across his index finger before lightly applying it to the angry red burn on the side of her hand. Her free hand pulled her jacket collar away from where it crowded her neck, his eyes flicked up to watch her. She could feel the goosebumps on her arm as he gripped it gently to apply the cream. She was fascinated by the diligence and tenderness he touched her with as the rest of the busy kitchen disappeared around her. "Plating tables 10 and 16, Marcus?" He called out, his focus split equally between the crew and the tickets lined up on the expo, and her. She felt her heart rate pick up as she watched him multitask. She'd tried for a long time to ignore the ache between her legs whenever he exuded total control like this. Seeing his confidence and skill in full flight was really something. "That ok?" He asked quietly, bringing her back down to earth.

"Yep. Yes, Chef. Thank you."

"Good. You've got 2 halibut and 4 salmon all day."

"2 halibut, 4 salmon all day." She repeated back, tearing herself from his side and back to her station. Tina was wrapping her in a hug instantly,

“I’m so sorry, baby. Are you ok? Lemme see,” She turned Syd’s hand over in her own, 

“It’s ok T, I’m fine. It’s not a bad one.” She reassured the older woman, “let’s get back on it,” she listened carefully so she could get caught up and the rest of the service went without issue. As promised, Richie delivered an ice cold margarita to her station just as they wound down and started the clean up. 

“Coulda been worse sweetheart, I once put my whole palm down on a stovetop. It was one of those electric hotplate ones an’ I forgot it was on. Burned my whole hand. Fuckin’ grim, and holy shit the pain was insane.” He held up his palm, examining it for signs of evidence.

“Thanks Richie, god that’s gorgeous." She took a long drink from the cold cocktail. "Front of house get cleaned up under your watch?”

“Sure it did, smooth as a baby’s ass. No one had a clue.” She grinned at his enthusiasm.

“Ok. Same again tomorrow?”

“You know it, Chef. Someone wants stars after all,” he rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Oh c’mon Richie, you know you want it too. Don’t pretend you weren’t impressed at Ever.” She teased.

“We’re gonna be better kiddo.” He slung an arm around her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head before dancing away from her, “ When you wish upon a star, Your dreams will take you very far, yeah, ” he sang, “ You're a shining star, no matter who you are, shining bright to see, what you could truly be… ”

“Beautiful, thanks for that. Really showing your age there with the 70s disco.” He laughed,

“Everyone loves a classic. What’s your dad listen to?”

“Yeah, it’s the classics for sure. Disco, Soul, Motown, a little 70s rock, he really likes to get down. Got some great pictures of orange corduroy flares and silk shirts.” She grinned, “I literally caught him this morning busting a move while he made coffee. He made me go to dance classes with him when I was a kid.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, cos y’know… my mom. He wanted to meet people, make some friends, but it’s not easy I guess with a kid hanging around, so he just took me with him.”

“Cute, So you’re gonna go on Dancing with the Stars once you’re a top fuckin’ famous chef, yeah?” Across the room, she caught Carmy laughing.

“No, hell no. It was 20 years ago, I have conveniently forgotten everything I ever learned.”

“Bullshit! Yo Tina, did you know Syd’s got moves?”

“Course she does honey,” Tina scoffed, “we’re always dancin’ around here when you ain’t watchin’! So, we done here, Chefs?” She looked around to assess how everyone else was getting on.

“Yes, Chef. Let’s go home. I could fall asleep on my feet.” Syd sighed, a yawn creeping up on her.

“Syd, fall menu tomorrow?” Carmy asked as they all milled around grabbing coats and changing shoes.

“Yeah sure, I was going to swing by the market at Logan Square in the morning first?” Syd could feel Tina watching them,

“Sounds good, mind if I get in on that?”

“No, that’s… that’s totally fine.” She frowned as she spotted Tina turning to hide a smile. “Night everyone,” she took Tina’s arm and the two women left together out into the warm evening.

“Something goin’ on there?” Tina asked as soon as they were away from the building.

“No! Tina, god no. That is a ridiculous suggestion. It would be a terrible idea, for one. And secondly, I don’t even like Carmy y’know, like that .”

“Sure honey, it’s not like you idiots are spending all day looking at each other or anything like that, right? You must think I’m blind, babe.” She laughed.

“Shut up, Tina.” Syd grumbled as her Sous pulled her along to the train station.

 

~~~~~

 

“Yo, what’s that?” Carmy asked, weeks later. Sundays in Logan Square followed by brainstorming/ cooking/ menu planning at Carmy's had become the new normal. 

“What’s what?” She said, a teaspoon held between her teeth. 

“That face?”

“It’s just my face?”

“No, there was a look - is it the consommé?” He took the spoon from her mouth, and dipped it into the amber liquid to try.

“Don’t double dip.”

“It’s only us eating it, doesn’t count.” 

“The consommé is fine.”

“Yeah, so what’s up?”

“I just have a thing… I’ve done something to my shoulder,” she winced as she rotated it.

“May I?” He asked, raising his hands. She nodded and he stepped behind her, “where?”

“Like, below my shoulder blade, kinda here -” she stretched her hand behind her back and roughly pointed to the area where her bra’s shoulder strap met the horizontal band with a sharp intake of breath, “hurts like a motherfuc -” His thumb pressed into the soft flesh of her back,

“Here?”

“Little lower,” she squeaked, “and to the lef -, ohh fuck,” she trailed off with a sigh as he found the problem area.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, and the warmth of his hands - one kneading the space somewhere between her shoulder blade and the top of her ribs, and the other on the opposite side of her waist to hold her still. She could feel how rigidly she stood.

“Relax, s’probably not helping.”

“Easy for you to say.” She muttered, desperately gritting her teeth to hide the moan on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah, right.” His thumb found a particularly tender spot,

“Ohh god, fuck,” she let out a broken whine, her hand flying up to cover her mouth in embarrassment. She jerked away from him but his hand on her waist held tighter,

“Just -, I’ve nearly got it, Syd.” He said hoarsely. “Better?” He asked, clearing his throat. She let out the breath she’d been holding, it felt like she couldn’t hear her own thoughts - only white noise.

“Yep, great. Thanks.” She turned to face him, fiddling with the collar of her t-shirt. “I gotta… I gotta split, my dad’s been on me for not hanging out with him anymore.”

“You doing anything?” 

“There’s an exhibit he wanted to see at the Art Institute. Was gonna take him to get crepes after.”

“S’good, you should get outta here.” He shoved his hair back, pushing the curls off his face.

“See you tomorrow?"

"For sure. Say hi to your dad from me." He said shyly. 

"Yeah, maybe next time uhh, I dunno, you could come too. If you wanted, I mean. I keep meaning to take him for breakfast at Kasama." She wrung her hands, swaying lightly on the balls of her feet. 

"I'd like that, Syd." A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, "But you should go, otherwise he'll uninvite me." 

"Fuck yes, yes he would." She rushed for the door, a loud "see ya!" As it slammed behind her. 

 

Another couple of weeks rolled on, and as much as Syd didn't care to admit it, Carmy had been right. Taking their time, building everyone's confidence at their own individual pace, caring about every detail, was working. By running a minor injuries triage on the sideline, Carmy had kept Syd on the straight and narrow. The good vibes were almost intoxicating. As they’d moved into early September, Nat had reduced her hours to as few as possible with her due date looming but she was impressed with how things had improved since opening night. Yet Syd couldn’t switch her brain off. It felt like a constant stream of thought, she could feel herself only giving half of herself to any conversations she was a part of, the other half consumed with what they needed to do next, do better, do more of.

“Yo, Syd, you listening?”

“Of course I am,” she looked up sharply at Marcus,

“What’d I say?”

“We were talking about…” she racked her brain, the guilt mounting. She hadn’t been listening, not even close. The last thing she’d heard was about Luca’s plans to visit, she’d then switched off to think about whether she and Carmy could drag him in for a day or two of training with a few of the crew. She was outlining a possible training plan in her mind, splitting the two days into chunks of time dedicated to the things she wanted him to show them.

“It’s a nice idea, Marcus, totally fine for you to take a day or two and show Luca around.” Carmy confirmed,

“It’s a great idea. There are so many good places you could show him.” Syd nodded along, shooting Carmy a grateful look for saving her. Marcus grinned, 

“Thanks guys, ‘preciate it.” He left the office and went back to his station, pulling his phone out to text Luca.

“Not listening?”

“Thank you for the save.” She slumped further into the spare office chair.

“You got lucky.”

“Ok, ok, I zoned out.”

“You’re always zoning out. Pretty sure you don’t really listen to anyone anymore.”

“I listen to you. Usually. I had an idea about doing a workshop with Luca - if he’s up for it?”

“Dude comes on vacation and you want to put him to work?”

“He’d love it.”

“We’ll think about it.” He assured her, “where’s your head at?” She looked away at the books over his shoulder, 

“I dunno,” she mumbled, “s’like I… like my brain is just so full of stuff, I can’t think fast enough, can’t write it all down quickly enough. I just can’t switch it off, it’s constant.” She tried to think of the last time her mind wasn’t a relentlessly moving machine. 

“You sleeping?”

“Sometimes. I get a few hours if I’m lucky. Don’t you feel like this too?” She asked, almost desperately.

“I used to, til someone started giving me shit about having my full focus.”

“Haha, so funny,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m serious.”

“So am I. That is how it felt before. Then you told me to focus, so I did. One thing at a time. Mostly.”

“What’d you do?”

“Listened to you. Prep helps - keeps my hands busy and gives me time to think.”

“I don’t get it. Did you know Dolly Parton wrote I Will Always Love you and Jolene on the same damn day? So why the hell can’t I do what I need to do in a day? I need to empty my brain completely first. A total reset. Just blank space, no thoughts at all. White noise.” She rubbed her tired eyes, “now that would be first fucking class.” She handed him her half empty iced coffee and swiped the half slice of toast left on his plate holding it between her teeth, “Oh fuck -” 

“S’up, channeling Dolly Parton?” He sniggered. 

“No!” She scoffed, “I just realized how to… ugh, but it means Tina was right. God fucking damn.” She chewed thoughtfully.

“You’ve lost me?”

“Yeah, nevermind. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah?”

“For real. Back to it, Chef.” She left the office, still cursing under her breath. 

 

White noise. Suddenly it was all Syd could think about, the last time her brain had got up and walked out on her had been when Carmy had his hands on her. She'd felt the warmth of his hands through her clothes burning into her skin, his firm but careful touch trying not to hurt her. The way he'd grazed a particularly sensitive spot that would have made her knees buckle if the table hadn't been holding her up. And of course Tina had been right about the best way to relax. Because of course that would be the answer. She fell practically mute during service, robotically repeating back to Richie on expo, but otherwise not really engaging. She missed the whole conversation about Tina’s birthday plans, didn’t even flinch when Connor dropped a baking sheet right at her feet and didn’t once argue with Richie. She could feel Carmy’s gaze burning right through her at every opportunity, but he didn’t pull her up on her silence.

“Earth to Sydney Adamu, come in Sydney Adamu? Are you reading me?” Richie called over, using his hands as an amplifier,

“Sorry Richie, miles away. What’s up?”

“... Dude, that’s what I’m askin’ you? Where’s my sparring partner, huh? I musta mispronounced at least three different dishes tonight and you didn’t rip me even once! An’ you know I can’t rely on Carmen for witty banter - that’s our bag!”

“Witty banter?” She laughed, “I’m very sorry Rich, it won’t happen again. I promise if you really want me to roast you next time you fuck up, I’ll be there in a hearbeat.”

“That’s my girl! That’s what I wanna hear! Ok lizards, that’s the kitchen closed - thank you and goodnight. Not literally of course, get cleaning. Cousin, coming to burn one?” Carmy shot her one last look before following Richie.

“Baby, you good? I like, signed you up to cater my whole fuckin’ birthday party and you just agreed no questions asked?” Syd sighed with relief, of course she would have agreed to that regardless.

“T, hell could freeze over and I’ll still do your birthday. You know that!”

“I know, just don’t want you burning out - you’re workin’ too hard.”

“I’m working the same as I always do. I promise I’m fine.” She popped a kiss on Tina’s cheek as Richie and Carmy came back in to join the clean up. By the time the kitchen was spotless, Syd was drained. She called out goodbyes from the office as the others left, scribbling notes before they got overtaken in her brain by something else and something else and something else. 

"Syd, home." Carmy peered around the door. Half the lights were off and there were only the two of them left. 

"Shit, sorry. Yeah, I'm going." She dragged herself from the desk. 

"Look, can I try something - and you can tell me to fuck off?"

"I doubt I'm gonna tell you to fuck off, Carm."

"You might. Close your eyes?" She hesitated, but did as he asked. "What are you thinking?"

"Honestly?" She felt him nod.

"Well, I started to think we needed a new fruit supplier cos I swear we're being screwed on strawberries. Then I got onto strawberries being ready earlier each year because, y'know, climate change. So I doomspiralled a little, wondering if we need to move premises due to flooding, food prices, food shortages… but then I got kinda back on track thinking we could grow our own fruit and vegetables but that's, like, a lot of work and now I'm just about back to getting a better fucking supplier - ohh, or joining up with other spots nearby to buy bigger quantities, cheaper? Also, climate change is gonna kill us all, so that was a fun little detour." She finally stopped, eyes still closed, it was so quiet she wondered if Carmy had just left the building during her rant. Then he laughed. A lot. 

"Syd sweetheart, fuck, you need to get some sleep." 

"Fuck you, I know I do. But that is the state of my mind at the moment, and it is not funny! Things are going so well, why can’t my mind just let me breathe?" She sighed. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No." She felt a hand on her waist, his insistent kiss on her lips, and she squeaked in surprise. He pulled away as she leaned in, leaving her swaying on the spot. 

"Oh." She opened her eyes with just enough time to see him move towards her again. 

"Oh? Should I stop?" He asked. She shook her head, words failing. Somewhat more prepared this time, she met him halfway in an instant clash of tongues and teeth. With one gentle push backwards, he'd pressed her against the wall. She gripped his t-shirt in her fist, catching the chain around his neck at the same time.

"Ohh god," she moaned in exactly the same way as she had in his kitchen. He nipped along her jawline, one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her ass.

"Sounds familiar," she could feel him smile, "how's all the big brain shit goin'?"

"Fuck, Carm -" She gasped as his hand moved from her neck to palm her breast over her t-shirt, "no thoughts here." He pulled away from her abruptly, holding her steady against the wall, 

"Good girl." He watched as her breath stuttered at his compliment and smirked. He flicked his wrist at the button of her pants, and kept his eyes on her as he slid them over the curve of her ass. She nodded for him to continue, and he dropped to his knees in front of her, dragging the material down her leg and pulling off her sneakers. She waited for him to reappear, but he didn't. Instead, he hooked her knee over his shoulder,

"Wait, what?" 

"I'll stop when you forget your own name. How's that sound?" Her jaw dropped, "kidding. Mostly. Say now, and I stop, and we can forget this ever happened, 'K?" 

"I don't want you to stop," she whispered. 

"Good." He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her soaked underwear and pulled them down her legs, then he nudged her legs apart and lifted one to drape it over his shoulder. "So wet, Syd," he teased, peppering her inner thighs with kisses. He licked a broad stroke through her folds, his nose nestling up against her clit. She could feel her knees shaking so he put a firm hand on the hip of her raised leg to hold her steady. His other hand moved to join his determined mouth, he replaced his tongue fucking her with his fingers and turned his attention to suck her clit 

"Oh f-fucking fuck , Carm," She tangled a hand in his hair, partly to stop him from moving, and partly to keep herself upright. His fingers, knuckle deep inside her, pumped lazily in and out while he savored her taste, wanting to drag out her pleasure for as long as possible. Her dripping cunt ached for release but he didn't let up.

"You wanna come for me, baby?" He murmured as she whimpered at the loss of his tongue.

"Yes, god yes -" her hips twitched towards him, changing the angle so his fingers brushed against her g-spot, he flicked his tongue over her clit at the same time and felt her walls contract around his fingers as she came apart completely with a broken sob of his name. He rested his head against her thigh as she leaned limply into the wall. Her legs trembled, so he slipped her underwear back up, sat back and guided her down the wall to sit in his lap. "Holy shit." She whispered once she'd recovered her breath. 

"How's your head?" He asked, dropping a kiss to her temple. 

"Hmm, pretty empty." She smiled into the crook of his shoulder. She kissed a trail up to his ear and along his jaw, tasting herself on his tongue. With a desperate moan, she moved to straddle his hips, her knees on the cold, hard floor. She could feel him rock hard through his pants and rutted against him. 

"So fuckin' beautiful, Syd." His hands gripped her ass, holding her against him and making them both moan. His phone vibrated across the desk and onto the floor as he slid his hands underneath her t-shirt, "ignore it." He told her, tickling the sides of her ribs while he tried to pull it off. She batted his hands away and leaned away from him to reach it. 

"Fuck, it's Pete?" She handed it over and he swiped to answer the call just before it rang off. 

"Hey man, you good?" Syd couldn't hear Pete's response, but she could see Carmy's frown deepen. She moved to get up from his lap but his hand on her bare thigh stopped her. "On my way. No, no Richie till later - got it. Yeah, I'll bring Syd. Later dude." The phone dropped into his lap between their bodies. "We gotta go."

"We?"

"Baby's coming, Nat wants you there."

"Oh no, no no. That's not… I don't like hospitals. And it's really late. And I'm pretty sure they only let family in, so -" 

"We'll figure it out later, come with me?" He cupped her jaw, bringing her face close to his again, and kissed her, "and we'll figure this out later. C'mon." She stood up with ease, her legs now more willing to cooperate, and held out a hand to help him up. He kissed her again, his cock still half hard pressed into her thigh, "fucking family. Figuring this out later for sure." She pulled away first, hands fluttering nervously as she found interest in her bare feet, the coral nail polish a pop of brightness in the dimly lit room. 

"I'm gonna get cleaned up. Have we got time?" She picked up her clothes from the floor,

"Pete said it's still a while off, we're OK for now." She nodded, considering his wild hair and disheveled clothes. 

"You should straighten up too. She's your sister, full blown labor or not she's gonna know straight away." 

"Yeah, yeah I will." He nodded in agreement. She took her time in the beautifully decorated bathroom. The dark wallpaper and paint with the brushed gold features were all her and Nat. They'd spent an afternoon in a DIY store together picking out the colors and accessories. She switched with Carmy, and while he was in the bathroom, she put her sneakers back on and switched off the remaining lights.

#icymi #sydcarmy smut #sydcarmy fanfic #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy #the bear fic #the bear fx #syd x carmy #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #carmy x syd #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 2

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

~~~~~

Syd's brain is in overdrive, she needs some help with the mental load...

Chapter 2

With Carmy finally on board, Syd threw herself into work more than ever before. The crew rose to the challenge they'd set them, and were improving day by day. Some days though, chaos reigned no matter how hard she tried. The turnover time on a handful of tables was too short, they had diners arriving for tables which were still in use - a nightmare for an already too busy Saturday night. Richie had handed over expo to Carmy so he could deal with the front of house noise, leaving Syd and Tina both covering his station. 

"I need to fire the dessert right now for table 4 and 8 please, Marcus."

"Yes, Chef."

"Are those the two tables waiting to turnover?" Syd called over, 

"Richie's waxing, don't worry. They'll be sitting in 20. Yes Marcus?" Carmy confirmed, pushing Marcus for the desserts.

"Heard, Chef. Plating now."

"Excellent, thank you. Can I have hands ready to go please. 4 and 8, let's go." Syd watched Carmy direct the expo with ease, unperturbed by the additional stress of the first cover's late arrival and the second's early arrival.

"Hate it when people are late."

"Early is just as bad."

"Early gets a drink at the bar. Late pisses everyone off." She reasoned. 

"It's done. Let's move on, I've got 3 halibut and 5 salmon all day?'

"3 halibut, 5 salmon all day, Chef." She confirmed,

"Behind, Jeff," Tina called out at the same time, brushing just a hair too close to Syd and catching her wrist with the hot pan. 

"Shit," Syd gasped, the pain taking her breath away, 

"Baby, I'm so sorry! Fuck, let's get you under some water, honey -"

"It's OK, you carry on. Marcus, can you plate these please?" Syd stepped away from her fish as Marcus moved into her space. Carmy was already running the faucet so she plunged her hand straight under the water flow. Her eyes screwed up, she grimaced in pain as Carmy took her hand and turned it over to check the burn. 

"Looks nasty. Keep it under there," he instructed. "Let's get 2 of those halibut and 1 salmon ready to pick up, Marcus. Followed by 3 salmon."

"Yes, Chef. You good, Syd?"

"Fine Marcus, thanks. The first salmon is SOS, please."

"You got it, Chef."

"You good?" He asked quietly by her side, 

"Sure." She breathed out through pursed lips, pain still evident on her face. She went to move her hand from the water, but his firm grip still holding it kept her from doing so.

"Not yet. Still hurts?" She nodded, "so keep it there." He said firmly. 

"That's new 4 and 8 seated. Order coming on now." Richie moved through the kitchen, 

"Thanks, cousin, are they happy?"

"Nothing a couple of free margaritas won't cure."

"Fucking heard, Chef." Syd agreed, teeth still gritted against the pain. 

"Ouch, burn baby burn? I'll save you a marg, Syd. Tequila will take all your pain away, honey." Richie bounced her shoulder sympathetically as he passed. She stood with her hand under the water for 10 long minutes with Carmy checking in periodically, mostly to make sure she hadn't moved. 

"My fingers are numb, can I move now?" She asked, he nodded as his pen flew across the table information and crossed off the latest table completed.

"Yeah, c’mere," he turned to draw her in and pulled the first aid kit from under the table. He took out the burn ointment and smeared some across his index finger before lightly applying it to the angry red burn on the side of her hand. Her free hand pulled her jacket collar away from where it crowded her neck, his eyes flicked up to watch her. She could feel the goosebumps on her arm as he gripped it gently to apply the cream. She was fascinated by the diligence and tenderness he touched her with as the rest of the busy kitchen disappeared around her. "Plating tables 10 and 16, Marcus?" He called out, his focus split equally between the crew and the tickets lined up on the expo, and her. She felt her heart rate pick up as she watched him multitask. She'd tried for a long time to ignore the ache between her legs whenever he exuded total control like this. Seeing his confidence and skill in full flight was really something. "That ok?" He asked quietly, bringing her back down to earth.

"Yep. Yes, Chef. Thank you."

"Good. You've got 2 halibut and 4 salmon all day."

"2 halibut, 4 salmon all day." She repeated back, tearing herself from his side and back to her station. Tina was wrapping her in a hug instantly,

“I’m so sorry, baby. Are you ok? Lemme see,” She turned Syd’s hand over in her own, 

“It’s ok T, I’m fine. It’s not a bad one.” She reassured the older woman, “let’s get back on it,” she listened carefully so she could get caught up and the rest of the service went without issue. As promised, Richie delivered an ice cold margarita to her station just as they wound down and started the clean up. 

“Coulda been worse sweetheart, I once put my whole palm down on a stovetop. It was one of those electric hotplate ones an’ I forgot it was on. Burned my whole hand. Fuckin’ grim, and holy shit the pain was insane.” He held up his palm, examining it for signs of evidence.

“Thanks Richie, god that’s gorgeous." She took a long drink from the cold cocktail. "Front of house get cleaned up under your watch?”

“Sure it did, smooth as a baby’s ass. No one had a clue.” She grinned at his enthusiasm.

“Ok. Same again tomorrow?”

“You know it, Chef. Someone wants stars after all,” he rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Oh c’mon Richie, you know you want it too. Don’t pretend you weren’t impressed at Ever.” She teased.

“We’re gonna be better kiddo.” He slung an arm around her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head before dancing away from her, “ When you wish upon a star, Your dreams will take you very far, yeah, ” he sang, “ You're a shining star, no matter who you are, shining bright to see, what you could truly be… ”

“Beautiful, thanks for that. Really showing your age there with the 70s disco.” He laughed,

“Everyone loves a classic. What’s your dad listen to?”

“Yeah, it’s the classics for sure. Disco, Soul, Motown, a little 70s rock, he really likes to get down. Got some great pictures of orange corduroy flares and silk shirts.” She grinned, “I literally caught him this morning busting a move while he made coffee. He made me go to dance classes with him when I was a kid.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, cos y’know… my mom. He wanted to meet people, make some friends, but it’s not easy I guess with a kid hanging around, so he just took me with him.”

“Cute, So you’re gonna go on Dancing with the Stars once you’re a top fuckin’ famous chef, yeah?” Across the room, she caught Carmy laughing.

“No, hell no. It was 20 years ago, I have conveniently forgotten everything I ever learned.”

“Bullshit! Yo Tina, did you know Syd’s got moves?”

“Course she does honey,” Tina scoffed, “we’re always dancin’ around here when you ain’t watchin’! So, we done here, Chefs?” She looked around to assess how everyone else was getting on.

“Yes, Chef. Let’s go home. I could fall asleep on my feet.” Syd sighed, a yawn creeping up on her.

“Syd, fall menu tomorrow?” Carmy asked as they all milled around grabbing coats and changing shoes.

“Yeah sure, I was going to swing by the market at Logan Square in the morning first?” Syd could feel Tina watching them,

“Sounds good, mind if I get in on that?”

“No, that’s… that’s totally fine.” She frowned as she spotted Tina turning to hide a smile. “Night everyone,” she took Tina’s arm and the two women left together out into the warm evening.

“Something goin’ on there?” Tina asked as soon as they were away from the building.

“No! Tina, god no. That is a ridiculous suggestion. It would be a terrible idea, for one. And secondly, I don’t even like Carmy y’know, like that .”

“Sure honey, it’s not like you idiots are spending all day looking at each other or anything like that, right? You must think I’m blind, babe.” She laughed.

“Shut up, Tina.” Syd grumbled as her Sous pulled her along to the train station.

 

~~~~~

 

“Yo, what’s that?” Carmy asked, weeks later. Sundays in Logan Square followed by brainstorming/ cooking/ menu planning at Carmy's had become the new normal. 

“What’s what?” She said, a teaspoon held between her teeth. 

“That face?”

“It’s just my face?”

“No, there was a look - is it the consommé?” He took the spoon from her mouth, and dipped it into the amber liquid to try.

“Don’t double dip.”

“It’s only us eating it, doesn’t count.” 

“The consommé is fine.”

“Yeah, so what’s up?”

“I just have a thing… I’ve done something to my shoulder,” she winced as she rotated it.

“May I?” He asked, raising his hands. She nodded and he stepped behind her, “where?”

“Like, below my shoulder blade, kinda here -” she stretched her hand behind her back and roughly pointed to the area where her bra’s shoulder strap met the horizontal band with a sharp intake of breath, “hurts like a motherfuc -” His thumb pressed into the soft flesh of her back,

“Here?”

“Little lower,” she squeaked, “and to the lef -, ohh fuck,” she trailed off with a sigh as he found the problem area.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, and the warmth of his hands - one kneading the space somewhere between her shoulder blade and the top of her ribs, and the other on the opposite side of her waist to hold her still. She could feel how rigidly she stood.

“Relax, s’probably not helping.”

“Easy for you to say.” She muttered, desperately gritting her teeth to hide the moan on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah, right.” His thumb found a particularly tender spot,

“Ohh god, fuck,” she let out a broken whine, her hand flying up to cover her mouth in embarrassment. She jerked away from him but his hand on her waist held tighter,

“Just -, I’ve nearly got it, Syd.” He said hoarsely. “Better?” He asked, clearing his throat. She let out the breath she’d been holding, it felt like she couldn’t hear her own thoughts - only white noise.

“Yep, great. Thanks.” She turned to face him, fiddling with the collar of her t-shirt. “I gotta… I gotta split, my dad’s been on me for not hanging out with him anymore.”

“You doing anything?” 

“There’s an exhibit he wanted to see at the Art Institute. Was gonna take him to get crepes after.”

“S’good, you should get outta here.” He shoved his hair back, pushing the curls off his face.

“See you tomorrow?"

"For sure. Say hi to your dad from me." He said shyly. 

"Yeah, maybe next time uhh, I dunno, you could come too. If you wanted, I mean. I keep meaning to take him for breakfast at Kasama." She wrung her hands, swaying lightly on the balls of her feet. 

"I'd like that, Syd." A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, "But you should go, otherwise he'll uninvite me." 

"Fuck yes, yes he would." She rushed for the door, a loud "see ya!" As it slammed behind her. 

 

Another couple of weeks rolled on, and as much as Syd didn't care to admit it, Carmy had been right. Taking their time, building everyone's confidence at their own individual pace, caring about every detail, was working. By running a minor injuries triage on the sideline, Carmy had kept Syd on the straight and narrow. The good vibes were almost intoxicating. As they’d moved into early September, Nat had reduced her hours to as few as possible with her due date looming but she was impressed with how things had improved since opening night. Yet Syd couldn’t switch her brain off. It felt like a constant stream of thought, she could feel herself only giving half of herself to any conversations she was a part of, the other half consumed with what they needed to do next, do better, do more of.

“Yo, Syd, you listening?”

“Of course I am,” she looked up sharply at Marcus,

“What’d I say?”

“We were talking about…” she racked her brain, the guilt mounting. She hadn’t been listening, not even close. The last thing she’d heard was about Luca’s plans to visit, she’d then switched off to think about whether she and Carmy could drag him in for a day or two of training with a few of the crew. She was outlining a possible training plan in her mind, splitting the two days into chunks of time dedicated to the things she wanted him to show them.

“It’s a nice idea, Marcus, totally fine for you to take a day or two and show Luca around.” Carmy confirmed,

“It’s a great idea. There are so many good places you could show him.” Syd nodded along, shooting Carmy a grateful look for saving her. Marcus grinned, 

“Thanks guys, ‘preciate it.” He left the office and went back to his station, pulling his phone out to text Luca.

“Not listening?”

“Thank you for the save.” She slumped further into the spare office chair.

“You got lucky.”

“Ok, ok, I zoned out.”

“You’re always zoning out. Pretty sure you don’t really listen to anyone anymore.”

“I listen to you. Usually. I had an idea about doing a workshop with Luca - if he’s up for it?”

“Dude comes on vacation and you want to put him to work?”

“He’d love it.”

“We’ll think about it.” He assured her, “where’s your head at?” She looked away at the books over his shoulder, 

“I dunno,” she mumbled, “s’like I… like my brain is just so full of stuff, I can’t think fast enough, can’t write it all down quickly enough. I just can’t switch it off, it’s constant.” She tried to think of the last time her mind wasn’t a relentlessly moving machine. 

“You sleeping?”

“Sometimes. I get a few hours if I’m lucky. Don’t you feel like this too?” She asked, almost desperately.

“I used to, til someone started giving me shit about having my full focus.”

“Haha, so funny,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m serious.”

“So am I. That is how it felt before. Then you told me to focus, so I did. One thing at a time. Mostly.”

“What’d you do?”

“Listened to you. Prep helps - keeps my hands busy and gives me time to think.”

“I don’t get it. Did you know Dolly Parton wrote I Will Always Love you and Jolene on the same damn day? So why the hell can’t I do what I need to do in a day? I need to empty my brain completely first. A total reset. Just blank space, no thoughts at all. White noise.” She rubbed her tired eyes, “now that would be first fucking class.” She handed him her half empty iced coffee and swiped the half slice of toast left on his plate holding it between her teeth, “Oh fuck -” 

“S’up, channeling Dolly Parton?” He sniggered. 

“No!” She scoffed, “I just realized how to… ugh, but it means Tina was right. God fucking damn.” She chewed thoughtfully.

“You’ve lost me?”

“Yeah, nevermind. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah?”

“For real. Back to it, Chef.” She left the office, still cursing under her breath. 

 

White noise. Suddenly it was all Syd could think about, the last time her brain had got up and walked out on her had been when Carmy had his hands on her. She'd felt the warmth of his hands through her clothes burning into her skin, his firm but careful touch trying not to hurt her. The way he'd grazed a particularly sensitive spot that would have made her knees buckle if the table hadn't been holding her up. And of course Tina had been right about the best way to relax. Because of course that would be the answer. She fell practically mute during service, robotically repeating back to Richie on expo, but otherwise not really engaging. She missed the whole conversation about Tina’s birthday plans, didn’t even flinch when Connor dropped a baking sheet right at her feet and didn’t once argue with Richie. She could feel Carmy’s gaze burning right through her at every opportunity, but he didn’t pull her up on her silence.

“Earth to Sydney Adamu, come in Sydney Adamu? Are you reading me?” Richie called over, using his hands as an amplifier,

“Sorry Richie, miles away. What’s up?”

“... Dude, that’s what I’m askin’ you? Where’s my sparring partner, huh? I musta mispronounced at least three different dishes tonight and you didn’t rip me even once! An’ you know I can’t rely on Carmen for witty banter - that’s our bag!”

“Witty banter?” She laughed, “I’m very sorry Rich, it won’t happen again. I promise if you really want me to roast you next time you fuck up, I’ll be there in a hearbeat.”

“That’s my girl! That’s what I wanna hear! Ok lizards, that’s the kitchen closed - thank you and goodnight. Not literally of course, get cleaning. Cousin, coming to burn one?” Carmy shot her one last look before following Richie.

“Baby, you good? I like, signed you up to cater my whole fuckin’ birthday party and you just agreed no questions asked?” Syd sighed with relief, of course she would have agreed to that regardless.

“T, hell could freeze over and I’ll still do your birthday. You know that!”

“I know, just don’t want you burning out - you’re workin’ too hard.”

“I’m working the same as I always do. I promise I’m fine.” She popped a kiss on Tina’s cheek as Richie and Carmy came back in to join the clean up. By the time the kitchen was spotless, Syd was drained. She called out goodbyes from the office as the others left, scribbling notes before they got overtaken in her brain by something else and something else and something else. 

"Syd, home." Carmy peered around the door. Half the lights were off and there were only the two of them left. 

"Shit, sorry. Yeah, I'm going." She dragged herself from the desk. 

"Look, can I try something - and you can tell me to fuck off?"

"I doubt I'm gonna tell you to fuck off, Carm."

"You might. Close your eyes?" She hesitated, but did as he asked. "What are you thinking?"

"Honestly?" She felt him nod.

"Well, I started to think we needed a new fruit supplier cos I swear we're being screwed on strawberries. Then I got onto strawberries being ready earlier each year because, y'know, climate change. So I doomspiralled a little, wondering if we need to move premises due to flooding, food prices, food shortages… but then I got kinda back on track thinking we could grow our own fruit and vegetables but that's, like, a lot of work and now I'm just about back to getting a better fucking supplier - ohh, or joining up with other spots nearby to buy bigger quantities, cheaper? Also, climate change is gonna kill us all, so that was a fun little detour." She finally stopped, eyes still closed, it was so quiet she wondered if Carmy had just left the building during her rant. Then he laughed. A lot. 

"Syd sweetheart, fuck, you need to get some sleep." 

"Fuck you, I know I do. But that is the state of my mind at the moment, and it is not funny! Things are going so well, why can’t my mind just let me breathe?" She sighed. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No." She felt a hand on her waist, his insistent kiss on her lips, and she squeaked in surprise. He pulled away as she leaned in, leaving her swaying on the spot. 

"Oh." She opened her eyes with just enough time to see him move towards her again. 

"Oh? Should I stop?" He asked. She shook her head, words failing. Somewhat more prepared this time, she met him halfway in an instant clash of tongues and teeth. With one gentle push backwards, he'd pressed her against the wall. She gripped his t-shirt in her fist, catching the chain around his neck at the same time.

"Ohh god," she moaned in exactly the same way as she had in his kitchen. He nipped along her jawline, one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her ass.

"Sounds familiar," she could feel him smile, "how's all the big brain shit goin'?"

"Fuck, Carm -" She gasped as his hand moved from her neck to palm her breast over her t-shirt, "no thoughts here." He pulled away from her abruptly, holding her steady against the wall, 

"Good girl." He watched as her breath stuttered at his compliment and smirked. He flicked his wrist at the button of her pants, and kept his eyes on her as he slid them over the curve of her ass. She nodded for him to continue, and he dropped to his knees in front of her, dragging the material down her leg and pulling off her sneakers. She waited for him to reappear, but he didn't. Instead, he hooked her knee over his shoulder,

"Wait, what?" 

"I'll stop when you forget your own name. How's that sound?" Her jaw dropped, "kidding. Mostly. Say now, and I stop, and we can forget this ever happened, 'K?" 

"I don't want you to stop," she whispered. 

"Good." He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her soaked underwear and pulled them down her legs, then he nudged her legs apart and lifted one to drape it over his shoulder. "So wet, Syd," he teased, peppering her inner thighs with kisses. He licked a broad stroke through her folds, his nose nestling up against her clit. She could feel her knees shaking so he put a firm hand on the hip of her raised leg to hold her steady. His other hand moved to join his determined mouth, he replaced his tongue fucking her with his fingers and turned his attention to suck her clit 

"Oh f-fucking fuck , Carm," She tangled a hand in his hair, partly to stop him from moving, and partly to keep herself upright. His fingers, knuckle deep inside her, pumped lazily in and out while he savored her taste, wanting to drag out her pleasure for as long as possible. Her dripping cunt ached for release but he didn't let up.

"You wanna come for me, baby?" He murmured as she whimpered at the loss of his tongue.

"Yes, god yes -" her hips twitched towards him, changing the angle so his fingers brushed against her g-spot, he flicked his tongue over her clit at the same time and felt her walls contract around his fingers as she came apart completely with a broken sob of his name. He rested his head against her thigh as she leaned limply into the wall. Her legs trembled, so he slipped her underwear back up, sat back and guided her down the wall to sit in his lap. "Holy shit." She whispered once she'd recovered her breath. 

"How's your head?" He asked, dropping a kiss to her temple. 

"Hmm, pretty empty." She smiled into the crook of his shoulder. She kissed a trail up to his ear and along his jaw, tasting herself on his tongue. With a desperate moan, she moved to straddle his hips, her knees on the cold, hard floor. She could feel him rock hard through his pants and rutted against him. 

"So fuckin' beautiful, Syd." His hands gripped her ass, holding her against him and making them both moan. His phone vibrated across the desk and onto the floor as he slid his hands underneath her t-shirt, "ignore it." He told her, tickling the sides of her ribs while he tried to pull it off. She batted his hands away and leaned away from him to reach it. 

"Fuck, it's Pete?" She handed it over and he swiped to answer the call just before it rang off. 

"Hey man, you good?" Syd couldn't hear Pete's response, but she could see Carmy's frown deepen. She moved to get up from his lap but his hand on her bare thigh stopped her. "On my way. No, no Richie till later - got it. Yeah, I'll bring Syd. Later dude." The phone dropped into his lap between their bodies. "We gotta go."

"We?"

"Baby's coming, Nat wants you there."

"Oh no, no no. That's not… I don't like hospitals. And it's really late. And I'm pretty sure they only let family in, so -" 

"We'll figure it out later, come with me?" He cupped her jaw, bringing her face close to his again, and kissed her, "and we'll figure this out later. C'mon." She stood up with ease, her legs now more willing to cooperate, and held out a hand to help him up. He kissed her again, his cock still half hard pressed into her thigh, "fucking family. Figuring this out later for sure." She pulled away first, hands fluttering nervously as she found interest in her bare feet, the coral nail polish a pop of brightness in the dimly lit room. 

"I'm gonna get cleaned up. Have we got time?" She picked up her clothes from the floor,

"Pete said it's still a while off, we're OK for now." She nodded, considering his wild hair and disheveled clothes. 

"You should straighten up too. She's your sister, full blown labor or not she's gonna know straight away." 

"Yeah, yeah I will." He nodded in agreement. She took her time in the beautifully decorated bathroom. The dark wallpaper and paint with the brushed gold features were all her and Nat. They'd spent an afternoon in a DIY store together picking out the colors and accessories. She switched with Carmy, and while he was in the bathroom, she put her sneakers back on and switched off the remaining lights.

#sydcarmy smut #sydcarmy fanfic #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy #the bear fic #the bear fx #syd x carmy #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #carmy x syd #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 1

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto, R rated in future chapters.

Syd works out what she needs to do to get those stars she's dreaming of. Carmy works out what he needs to do to support her.

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

In case there’s ever any doubt, knocking on your boss/partner’s door at 3am is never a good idea. Especially when you didn’t actually say goodbye until way past midnight. And he drove you home, and you’ve since undone that goodwill by getting up and walking to his apartment in the middle of the night… Syd considered. Sure, she had pepper spray and a swiss army knife, but she knew this would make him mad as hell. Still, she didn’t care. It wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision either. She’d undertaken specific, strategic research… and then she’d also tossed and turned for the best part of three hours until it became crystal clear what she needed to do, and she didn’t want to wait til 7am to have to tell him.

She’d taken food to Marcus. Trying to make amends, bury a hatchet, get back into his good books… whatever it was, she did it via the route she knew best. Through food. She’d taken the most gorgeous tagine over, warmed it for him, and sat while he ate. Still stilted, their conversation didn’t flow as naturally as it usually did. Their silences stretched out into awkwardness rather than comfort. She was almost relieved when he went to check on his mom, leaving her alone in the kitchen and nursing a mountain of couscous. His phone on the counter had rumbled across the surface with a call. LUCA, the screen flashed. She answered it almost on autopilot, “Hey man, how you doin’?” The figure on the phone wasn’t looking to the camera but at what looked like a tray of perfectly identical pastry cases. He did a double take at the sound of her voice.

“Uhhh hi. Marcus is just out of the room, he’ll be back in a sec?”

“You must be Sydney?” He grinned, she could have cursed, another pretty blond boy and their… eyes. Excellent.

“I am, Luca? Nice to meet you, kinda.”

“You too. Kinda. Have you been looking after my good friend Marcus?”

“Well. I’m trying,” his frown matched hers,

“Everything ok?”

“Long story. I’m sure you’ll hear his side of it.” “I already have.”

“Ahh,” 

“He’ll be ok.” He assured her. She suddenly felt a desperate need to change the subject, 

“So you knew baby Carmy, huh?”

“Yeah, we were just scruffy kids. I was scruffier.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” She replied with an arched eyebrow,

“S’true. And I got more deranged the harder I tried to keep up with him.” He laughed. Something fired in Syd’s brain,

“Say more?”

“I was telling Marcus when he was here. I thought I was the shit, y’know? The golden balls. Then, I had a few days trying to keep up with Carmen, and I was in pieces. Spent the rest of my time watching, learning… trying to keep up with him. It made me a good chef, and I got a really good mate out of it as well. Eventually, anyway. Once we’d stopped trying to kill each other.”

“You didn’t get better than him?”

“Nooo, god no. Not better than him. No one is better than him. Except maybe you, from what I’ve heard.” 

“Heard from who?” She asked curiously.

“Marcus, Terry… the man himself.”

“Now I know that’s a lie, he doesn’t answer his phone.” She cackled.

“He does to a select few. The important people in his life.” She thought back to the last few times she’d called Carmy since he’d emerged from the walk-in. Just stupid ‘what about this?’ kind of calls. He’d picked up before the first ring had even completed every time, answered every text. “We all talk, you know? Not all that often, but we keep up. It’s one thing we’ve never lost from our time with Terry. It’s like she honed in on the fact that we both had shit relationships with our parents and made sure we had her instead.”

“She sounds nice. I was really fucking jealous when Richie got to stage for her.”

“Nah, you should catch her for a cuppa - it’s much more fun. No milk, no sugar.” He advised. “So, I also know through the grapevine that you’re chasing stars?” Syd rolled her eyes, making a mental note to kill Marcus. Or Carmy. One of them, at least. 

“He’s such a little gossip!” She grumbled, “I just think it would be nice.”

“It would, you should go for it. And from what I’ve heard, The Bear is capable of getting them. I’m looking forward to a visit - there’s only so many times I can listen to how good you are. Plus it’s been a long time since Carm cooked for me.” Marcus came back through and took in Syd on the phone to Luca,

“Well, you’ll be welcome anytime. Marcus is here, I’ll let you off the hook now. It was good to meet you.”

“You too. Good luck with the stars.” She handed the phone over to Marcus and went back to her couscous, her mind ticking over.

~~~~~

The conversation with Luca had set things in motion in her brain. Three days later, she found herself loitering outside Ever on her way to work. Every day for a week she took the same route until she saw a figure emerge.

“Excuse me?”

“We don’t have any job openings. Check the website.”

“I’m not here for a job. My… friend, Richie, did a week here a few weeks ago? And my business partner, Carmen, knows Chef Terry and -”

“You’re Sydney?” Her jaw dropped,

“Uhh… yeah? I mean, yes, I didn’t mean that as a question,” she stammered, “that is me, I am her.”

“Richie talked about you a lot, and of course I know of Carmen. I’m Garrett.” The young man held out his hand and shook hers. “You coming in? I take it you’re here to see Chef Terry?” He asked, holding the door open on his way back inside. Though taken aback, Syd didn’t hesitate in following him. He gave her a whistle stop tour of the restaurant and kitchens before leaving her with Jess briefly.

“How’s Richie?”

“He’s good. Really good, actually.” “We miss him. Tell him I said hi?”

“Of course. You guys should come for dinner?” Syd invited,

“Oh god, absolutely. Garrett, Syd said we should go to The Bear.”

“We definitely should. Terry can’t see you today, she said she’s sorry, but she’s got a free hour tomorrow morning if you wanted to help her prep?” 

“Yes. Of course, I’ll be here. 6am?”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you outside.” She gave Jess a small wave and continued on to The Bear to start her day. The conversation with Luca and the quick preview of Ever buzzing in her mind, she felt like a bundle of nerves all day.

“Cariño, you good?” Tina asked as Syd’s knife narrowly missed her finger on its way to the onion she was making a poor attempt at chopping.

“Yeah, T. I’m fine.”

“Boy trouble?” She could feel Carmy, Richie and Ebra all raise their eyes as inconspicuously as possible. Thank fuck Marcus was at an appointment with his mother and Fak was under the pot wash sink.

“Fuck no. No time for that, mama.” She smiled down at Tina who was glaring at Ebra.

“Baby, you should make time for that. You’re like… buzzing. You should get laid.”

“Maybe she should keep buzzin’ an’ that’s the answer!” Richie called over,

“Ay, mind your business Richard! I ain’t talking to you right now, I’m trying to make sure this lady is getting what she needs.” Tina pointed at Richie with her knife.

“I’m just sayin’! She don't need a man, right Syd? Just some decent batteries.”

“Richie, shut the fuck up please. Tina, can we not be having this conversation right now?”

“Hey, it’s all good - you have needs, we all have needs. Might help you relax a little, y’know what I’m sayin’? You're very on edge.” Tina clicked her tongue between her teeth with a wicked grin. Syd scooped up her onions and dumped them into the empty container. 

“Behind.” She stuck her tongue out childishly at Tina and moved around her to the walk-in. With the onions on a shelf, she brought her hands up to her flushed cheeks. Eternally grateful her blushes weren’t broadcast to the world, only she could feel how hot her face felt. She fanned herself with her hand and took a minute.

“Behind, Chef.” Carmy stepped into the chiller with a container of mushrooms. “You ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Good to know there’s no escape from the probing mother figure. Poor Louis.” She grimaced at the thought of Tina’s teenage son trying to hide his sex life from her.

“She’s just looking out for you.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure then that she wouldn’t be encouraging… the things that she’s encouraging. But whatever. Either way, I still have no time.” Syd mused before realizing that they were still on Tina’s topic of conversation. “Thank fuck no one knows when I’m blushing.” She muttered, hand on the door to leave,

“I do.”

“Sorry?”

“I can tell when you’re embarrassed. You uhh become very interested in your shoes, and you pull your collar.” He explained, reaching out to put her jacket collar back into place. Her hands were fighting to stay away from it. True to form though, her shoes became very interesting indeed. 

“Didn’t know you were some kind of fuckin’ body language expert,” she huffed a laugh and left him in the walk-in.

~~~~~

The following morning, Syd waited outside with three takeout cups. As Garrett pushed the door, she handed him one.

“Coffee, to thank you for this.” “Nothing to thank me for. Come with me.” He raised the cup in salute and guided her down the previous day's familiar corridors.

“Sydney Adamu. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” A cheerful voice said as she rounded the corner. Garrett had disappeared already.

“Chef Terry, it’s… it’s an honor to meet you.” Syd put the takeout cups down and held out her hand, only to be pulled into a warm hug.

“You too, darling. Grab a sprig, we’re doing rosemary and basil.” She pointed to the bench where there was already a space out for Syd. 

“Thank you. I got you tea - no milk, no sugar.”

“Then it’s perfect. And very kind of you, thank you.” Syd picked up a bunch of rosemary and set about plucking the tiny leaves from the stalks. “I don’t pull them or drag them, I want the leaf to remain perfect.” Terry explained to Syd. “So tell me, how’s my boy doing?”

“Carmy? Well, I don’t know what your baseline is -”

“He was working for me shortly after his mother drove a car into their dining room.”

“Oh,” Syd realized she didn’t know that story, that there was so much she didn’t know. “Pretty low then?” “Pretty low,” Terry smiled.

“He managed to get locked in our walk-in on our soft open night a few weeks ago.”

“An interesting ploy to get out of appearing in front of the diners.” She chuckled. “Hmm. Broke up with his girlfriend while he was in there.”

“Ouch.”

“And since then, touch wood,” Syd brought a hand to her head like her mother had used to do, “he’s been better, I think? Calmer, more present. Like he’s really trying.”

“There’s a very big difference between the way he used to work in New York to the way I know he wants to work.”

“Yeah, we both don’t want that toxic, shouty,”

“Aggressive, demeaning,”

“All of that - we don’t want that, like, at all.” Syd emphasized, “sometimes it feels impossible, but we’re trying.”

“He’s told me about all of you, you know? How much he cares for you all and believes in you.”

“I think he needs to understand how much we want that for him too?” Syd paused with a sprig of Rosemary in her hand. Terry did the same with her knife hovering over a bunch of basil. “I swear he thinks he’s still alone, and he’s trying to keep all the plates spinning and… it’s a lot.”

“I agree.” She said finally. “It’s hard to convince someone they deserve to be loved or that they're not alone.” She said ruefully. “Is that why you’re here?”

“No. Yes? I’m not really sure. Luca suggested I meet you.” Syd shrugged,

“Ahh, my other brilliant young man. That reminds me, I need to call him.”

“He’d heard that I want us to go for stars at The Bear.”

“Well, I can’t advise you on how to get them, exactly.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to.” Syd assured her, “I guess I want to understand Carmy better? We seem to have this… unspoken language, and I want to build on it, and there’s so much I want to learn from him, but also I want him to learn as well? Sometimes, I feel like I should try and be more patient with him, but then he does stupid stuff that makes me want to kill him.”

“Oh I know that feeling all too well! The best thing you can do is to make your relationship airtight. The stars we earned here were earned together because we listened to each other and learned from each other.” Syd nodded in agreement,

“Exactly. He kept telling me the stars were bullshit, we didn’t need them, and why would I want them. Like I’m the only one who wants them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with ambition, Sydney. In fact, it suits you beautifully.” Syd smiled, bashful under Terry’s praise.

“I want them for both of us. I kind of want them so that I can use them to beat Carmy with for the rest of our lives to say, I dunno, ‘look what we can achieve when we believe in each other’? Because I do, I believe in him.” She said earnestly.

“I can tell.”

“He spoke to everyone I’d worked for in the past to understand why I wanted to work at the Beef.”

“Did he find the answer he was looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“And what is the answer?”

“I wanted to work with him.” Terry smiled knowingly.

“Yes. He certainly has that effect.” She set down her knife and picked up her tea instead. “Keep doing what you’re doing, Sydney. He’s a total pain in the arse sometimes, but he’s worth the work.”

“Oh he is absolutely the biggest pain in my ass. Even more than Richie most of the time.” Terry laughed,

“You seem to have a good handle on them. Here, come and see this before I have to go,” she took Syd’s arm and led her down a walkway between the kitchen areas to a photograph on the wall of Carmy and Luca. “My lost boys. I am immensely proud of them.” She said fondly.

“He’s worth the work.” Syd said firmly, mostly to herself.

“He is. And so are you. I cannot wait to try your food. He tells me you’re the best he’s ever seen.” Syd scoffed,

“Oh, be serious right now.”

“I am, darling. I promise. He believes in you. I don’t think those stars are too far out of reach.” She patted Syd’s arm. “Now, I have to get back to work. Thank you for the tea. I hope you got what you needed from our time together?”

“I think I did, thank you, Chef Terry. Thank you for making time for me.”

“I would say anytime, but we both know that’s impossible in this profession. I’ll just say don’t be a stranger instead.”

“You too. He’d love to see you at The Bear, we both would.” As if by magic, Garrett appeared at the end of the corridor. Terry hugged Syd once more and disappeared around the corner. 

“Nice morning?”

“Why does it feel like I just met the Wizard of Oz? Or, like, Willy Wonka? How is she so cool and mysterious?” He smiled as he showed her out, 

“She’s Terry. She’s the best and she likes looking after the people she cares about. It was great to meet you, Syd. We’ll see you again soon.” He closed the door, leaving the building looking like an impenetrable fortress.

~~~~~

She rattled through another day at The Bear on edge, trying to decipher the things she’d learned over the course of the last couple of weeks. On the third attempt of placing a tiny flower onto a starter plate, she threw her tweezers with a groan of frustration.

"Ugggh, fuck me!"

“Breathe mija, breathe.” Tina set a hand on her arm. Syd nodded and stepped back while Tina gently dropped the flower into place. 

“Hands please.” Syd called out once the plate was completed, throwing a grateful look to her Sous.

“Try tellin’ me you don’t need an earth shakin’, mind blowing -”

“Tina, I beg you, do not finish that sentence.” Syd dragged her collar away from her neck, 

“Works wonders for your concentration.” The older woman wiggled her eyebrows.

“Please. Stop.” Syd hissed as Tina moved onto her next task. With a heavy sigh, she locked eyes with Carmy on the expo as he tried to hide a smile behind his hand. “Don’t you fucking start.” She warned.

And now here she was at 3am on Carmy’s doorstep. Another night owl had let her into the main building as they headed out for a run so she’d tiptoed up five flights of stairs and knocked loudly enough to wake him but not so loud it was disruptive to anyone else. The door flung open before she’d dropped her hand and he was pulling on a jacket,

“Woah, fuck -”

“Are you… are you going out? At 3am?”

“I was coming to see you. Wait, how’d you get here?” “Walked?”

“At 3am?” He pulled her into the apartment by her elbow. “Anything could have happened to you?”

“Why were you coming to see me?” She asked defiantly. “Why were you coming to see me?” He replied, avoiding the question completely.

“I need you,” she pleaded. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline,

“Is this… is this about what Tina was saying?” He asked quietly.

“What? No! Oh my god, Carmen! Is that why you think I’m here right now?”

“It’s 3am, Syd. It’s a pretty reasonable guess?”

“No, it is not a reasonable guess! There is… there is nothing reasonable about that guess!” Syd looked mortified.

“Well, look. Okay, thanks for that - thanks a lot -”

“Wait, I didn’t mean that it would be, like, horrible or anything! I didn’t say that, I’m sure it would be great…” She wrung her hands and sighed, trailing off into embarrassment. “Let me start over?” He nodded. 

“Good idea.”

“Hi, sorry to disturb you at 3am. I had an epiphany, and I needed your help.”

“I was up anyway. What can I do?”

"I know what I need to do for us to get those stars," she held her hands up as he started to protest, "I know, we don't need them, they're bullshit, blah blah blah."

"Blah blah blah?"

"I know what you're going to say, Carm. I know you think they're worthless"

"You know a lot, huh?" He said with a smile. 

"More than you give me credit for." She retorted. 

"Syd -"

"Carm. Please. I don't want it for me, I want it for us. I want it because we deserve it and we worked for it."

"What's your epiphany?"

"I need to care about everything, more than anything,” He arched an eyebrow,

“Well… yeah, I distinctly remember telling you that already?”

“I need to learn from you. Like, not just learn, I need to do what Luca did. Get better just by being near you." Both of his hands threaded through his hair and came to rest behind his head. She felt her stomach swoop. “I need to shadow you or something -”

"You are better. You don't need me, Syd."

"I do. I really do. I want you to help me make sure that we do this right. I get you've done the whole suffering for your art thing, but I want us and our team to thrive, not suffer." He fell quiet and watched her closely. "I don't want us to go through the same shit we went through before. We do this right and learn from each other and that is how we care about it more than anything else - by caring for everyone in it." He nodded. 

"Family style. A good, supportive family."

"Yes!” She beamed, “Yes, exactly.”

“OK.”

“And I'm gonna pretty much live in your pocket and you're gonna get so sick of me spending every fucking waking hour with you -"

"I said OK. And I won't get sick of you. Fuck, move in if that's what it takes." 

"Seriously?"

"We will do whatever it takes and we'll do it together. But I swear to god, Syd, while you're watching for fucking stars I'm gonna be watching you. Y'hear me? The second you're not eating or sleeping, I'm gonna be on your ass and we stop. And it takes as long as it takes. It’s not a goddamn race."

"Fine, yes. I'm in."

"It's not gonna be easy?" He warned. "Gets harder every year."

"Good. I know we can do it." He dropped his arms to his sides with a shrug. 

"Ok. Where'dya want to start?"

~~~~~

Phew! This is probably the longest I've gone without posting anything since the early summer! 😅 I couldn't hold off any longer. Fandom seems so quiet at the moment with shows finishing and others on a break... Just trying to keep us all busy and content until we have news!

Let me know what you think, would love so much to hear from you! 💜

#icymi #the bear fx #sydcarmy #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy fanfic #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #sydney adamu #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto

[daydreamgoddess14]

that scene is pure love. he instantly starts to calm down and breathe. 10/10, no notes, definitely not platonic!

I love how articles / analysis vids on the bear always fail to mention the panic attack. They know that if they mention this scene their whole argument on sydcarmy being platonic will become invalid cause that scene was peak romance.

#the bear #sydcarmy

[daydreamgoddess14]

Tagged by @tegan8314 😘

I did this the other day but here's an update 😅

3 ships: Tedbecca, Sydcarmy, Garvez

first ship: Maria x Michael (Roswell)

last song: Forever's Not Enough - McFly

last movie: I haven't watched one yet this week... I want to watch the Kelce documentary on Prime though, just trying to convince my husband 😂

currently reading: still Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

currently watching: Welcome to Wrexham and Fake or Fortune last night, weekly is Only Murders, Race Across the World, need to start Secret Invasion and I'm still rewatching The Bear

currently consuming: I just had the most amazing slice of homemade Battenberg cake from my local cake shop. She's an incredible baker and we have some more goodies for over the weekend as well. I really need to be nil by mouth at this point!

currently craving: Nothing - I'm too full after the Battenberg!

Tagging - no one extra from last time 😘 I will shamelessly promote my latest fanfic though, if you'll indulge me?

Everything More Than Anything - Sydcarmy (The Bear)

tagged by @modern-day-classic <3

3 ships: amy sosa/jonah simms, bradley jackson/laura peterson, eleanor shellstrop/chidi anagonye

first ever ship: emma swan/regina mills

last movie: minari (2020)

currently reading: black thunder (anthology by william b branch)

currently watching: the morning show, african folktales reimagined, only murders in the building

currently consuming: uhh its like 1:30am so nothing but the last thing i ate was a couple of raisins from a container thats been in my locker for way longer than is probably healthy

currently craving: hannah waddingham

no pressure tags for 9 people i'd like to get to know better 🙆💟: @melsglasses @sapphireswen @pancoffeecake @reelega @waddinghamhannah @5chatzi @movrings @tegan8314 @broadwayfreak5357

#tag games

[daydreamgoddess14]

I was tagged by @agentstarkid 😘

first celebrity, outfit, quote, and aesthetic pic on pinterest is your vibe ✨

Tagging @christina831 @beybaldes @onceuponaoneshot @hart-kinsella @movrings @littleesilvia and anyone else who wants a go 💜

first celebrity, outfit, quote, and aesthetic pic on pinterest is your vibe ✨

no one tagged me in this but i wanted to do it lol

np tags: @moonfaeriebunny @fandoms-writings @vonalyn @eloquentreverie @wildflwrdarlin @witchywithwhiskey @buckets-and-trees @thornsnvultures @multiversefanfics @vellicore @povlvr @anthony-sharma @perdidosbucky-yyo @shamevillain @vviolynn @intrepidacious @vase-of-lilies @cosmicbucky @a-scorpii @tumblin-theworldaway @dreamlandcreations @lilacevans @illicitfixations and anyone who wants to!

#tag games #pinterest vibes

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 1

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto, R rated in future chapters.

Syd works out what she needs to do to get those stars she's dreaming of. Carmy works out what he needs to do to support her.

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

In case there’s ever any doubt, knocking on your boss/partner’s door at 3am is never a good idea. Especially when you didn’t actually say goodbye until way past midnight. And he drove you home, and you’ve since undone that goodwill by getting up and walking to his apartment in the middle of the night… Syd considered. Sure, she had pepper spray and a swiss army knife, but she knew this would make him mad as hell. Still, she didn’t care. It wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision either. She’d undertaken specific, strategic research… and then she’d also tossed and turned for the best part of three hours until it became crystal clear what she needed to do, and she didn’t want to wait til 7am to have to tell him.

She’d taken food to Marcus. Trying to make amends, bury a hatchet, get back into his good books… whatever it was, she did it via the route she knew best. Through food. She’d taken the most gorgeous tagine over, warmed it for him, and sat while he ate. Still stilted, their conversation didn’t flow as naturally as it usually did. Their silences stretched out into awkwardness rather than comfort. She was almost relieved when he went to check on his mom, leaving her alone in the kitchen and nursing a mountain of couscous. His phone on the counter had rumbled across the surface with a call. LUCA, the screen flashed. She answered it almost on autopilot, “Hey man, how you doin’?” The figure on the phone wasn’t looking to the camera but at what looked like a tray of perfectly identical pastry cases. He did a double take at the sound of her voice.

“Uhhh hi. Marcus is just out of the room, he’ll be back in a sec?”

“You must be Sydney?” He grinned, she could have cursed, another pretty blond boy and their… eyes. Excellent.

“I am, Luca? Nice to meet you, kinda.”

“You too. Kinda. Have you been looking after my good friend Marcus?”

“Well. I’m trying,” his frown matched hers,

“Everything ok?”

“Long story. I’m sure you’ll hear his side of it.” “I already have.”

“Ahh,” 

“He’ll be ok.” He assured her. She suddenly felt a desperate need to change the subject, 

“So you knew baby Carmy, huh?”

“Yeah, we were just scruffy kids. I was scruffier.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” She replied with an arched eyebrow,

“S’true. And I got more deranged the harder I tried to keep up with him.” He laughed. Something fired in Syd’s brain,

“Say more?”

“I was telling Marcus when he was here. I thought I was the shit, y’know? The golden balls. Then, I had a few days trying to keep up with Carmen, and I was in pieces. Spent the rest of my time watching, learning… trying to keep up with him. It made me a good chef, and I got a really good mate out of it as well. Eventually, anyway. Once we’d stopped trying to kill each other.”

“You didn’t get better than him?”

“Nooo, god no. Not better than him. No one is better than him. Except maybe you, from what I’ve heard.” 

“Heard from who?” She asked curiously.

“Marcus, Terry… the man himself.”

“Now I know that’s a lie, he doesn’t answer his phone.” She cackled.

“He does to a select few. The important people in his life.” She thought back to the last few times she’d called Carmy since he’d emerged from the walk-in. Just stupid ‘what about this?’ kind of calls. He’d picked up before the first ring had even completed every time, answered every text. “We all talk, you know? Not all that often, but we keep up. It’s one thing we’ve never lost from our time with Terry. It’s like she honed in on the fact that we both had shit relationships with our parents and made sure we had her instead.”

“She sounds nice. I was really fucking jealous when Richie got to stage for her.”

“Nah, you should catch her for a cuppa - it’s much more fun. No milk, no sugar.” He advised. “So, I also know through the grapevine that you’re chasing stars?” Syd rolled her eyes, making a mental note to kill Marcus. Or Carmy. One of them, at least. 

“He’s such a little gossip!” She grumbled, “I just think it would be nice.”

“It would, you should go for it. And from what I’ve heard, The Bear is capable of getting them. I’m looking forward to a visit - there’s only so many times I can listen to how good you are. Plus it’s been a long time since Carm cooked for me.” Marcus came back through and took in Syd on the phone to Luca,

“Well, you’ll be welcome anytime. Marcus is here, I’ll let you off the hook now. It was good to meet you.”

“You too. Good luck with the stars.” She handed the phone over to Marcus and went back to her couscous, her mind ticking over.

~~~~~

The conversation with Luca had set things in motion in her brain. Three days later, she found herself loitering outside Ever on her way to work. Every day for a week she took the same route until she saw a figure emerge.

“Excuse me?”

“We don’t have any job openings. Check the website.”

“I’m not here for a job. My… friend, Richie, did a week here a few weeks ago? And my business partner, Carmen, knows Chef Terry and -”

“You’re Sydney?” Her jaw dropped,

“Uhh… yeah? I mean, yes, I didn’t mean that as a question,” she stammered, “that is me, I am her.”

“Richie talked about you a lot, and of course I know of Carmen. I’m Garrett.” The young man held out his hand and shook hers. “You coming in? I take it you’re here to see Chef Terry?” He asked, holding the door open on his way back inside. Though taken aback, Syd didn’t hesitate in following him. He gave her a whistle stop tour of the restaurant and kitchens before leaving her with Jess briefly.

“How’s Richie?”

“He’s good. Really good, actually.” “We miss him. Tell him I said hi?”

“Of course. You guys should come for dinner?” Syd invited,

“Oh god, absolutely. Garrett, Syd said we should go to The Bear.”

“We definitely should. Terry can’t see you today, she said she’s sorry, but she’s got a free hour tomorrow morning if you wanted to help her prep?” 

“Yes. Of course, I’ll be here. 6am?”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you outside.” She gave Jess a small wave and continued on to The Bear to start her day. The conversation with Luca and the quick preview of Ever buzzing in her mind, she felt like a bundle of nerves all day.

“Cariño, you good?” Tina asked as Syd’s knife narrowly missed her finger on its way to the onion she was making a poor attempt at chopping.

“Yeah, T. I’m fine.”

“Boy trouble?” She could feel Carmy, Richie and Ebra all raise their eyes as inconspicuously as possible. Thank fuck Marcus was at an appointment with his mother and Fak was under the pot wash sink.

“Fuck no. No time for that, mama.” She smiled down at Tina who was glaring at Ebra.

“Baby, you should make time for that. You’re like… buzzing. You should get laid.”

“Maybe she should keep buzzin’ an’ that’s the answer!” Richie called over,

“Ay, mind your business Richard! I ain’t talking to you right now, I’m trying to make sure this lady is getting what she needs.” Tina pointed at Richie with her knife.

“I’m just sayin’! She don't need a man, right Syd? Just some decent batteries.”

“Richie, shut the fuck up please. Tina, can we not be having this conversation right now?”

“Hey, it’s all good - you have needs, we all have needs. Might help you relax a little, y’know what I’m sayin’? You're very on edge.” Tina clicked her tongue between her teeth with a wicked grin. Syd scooped up her onions and dumped them into the empty container. 

“Behind.” She stuck her tongue out childishly at Tina and moved around her to the walk-in. With the onions on a shelf, she brought her hands up to her flushed cheeks. Eternally grateful her blushes weren’t broadcast to the world, only she could feel how hot her face felt. She fanned herself with her hand and took a minute.

“Behind, Chef.” Carmy stepped into the chiller with a container of mushrooms. “You ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Good to know there’s no escape from the probing mother figure. Poor Louis.” She grimaced at the thought of Tina’s teenage son trying to hide his sex life from her.

“She’s just looking out for you.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure then that she wouldn’t be encouraging… the things that she’s encouraging. But whatever. Either way, I still have no time.” Syd mused before realizing that they were still on Tina’s topic of conversation. “Thank fuck no one knows when I’m blushing.” She muttered, hand on the door to leave,

“I do.”

“Sorry?”

“I can tell when you’re embarrassed. You uhh become very interested in your shoes, and you pull your collar.” He explained, reaching out to put her jacket collar back into place. Her hands were fighting to stay away from it. True to form though, her shoes became very interesting indeed. 

“Didn’t know you were some kind of fuckin’ body language expert,” she huffed a laugh and left him in the walk-in.

~~~~~

The following morning, Syd waited outside with three takeout cups. As Garrett pushed the door, she handed him one.

“Coffee, to thank you for this.” “Nothing to thank me for. Come with me.” He raised the cup in salute and guided her down the previous day's familiar corridors.

“Sydney Adamu. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” A cheerful voice said as she rounded the corner. Garrett had disappeared already.

“Chef Terry, it’s… it’s an honor to meet you.” Syd put the takeout cups down and held out her hand, only to be pulled into a warm hug.

“You too, darling. Grab a sprig, we’re doing rosemary and basil.” She pointed to the bench where there was already a space out for Syd. 

“Thank you. I got you tea - no milk, no sugar.”

“Then it’s perfect. And very kind of you, thank you.” Syd picked up a bunch of rosemary and set about plucking the tiny leaves from the stalks. “I don’t pull them or drag them, I want the leaf to remain perfect.” Terry explained to Syd. “So tell me, how’s my boy doing?”

“Carmy? Well, I don’t know what your baseline is -”

“He was working for me shortly after his mother drove a car into their dining room.”

“Oh,” Syd realized she didn’t know that story, that there was so much she didn’t know. “Pretty low then?” “Pretty low,” Terry smiled.

“He managed to get locked in our walk-in on our soft open night a few weeks ago.”

“An interesting ploy to get out of appearing in front of the diners.” She chuckled. “Hmm. Broke up with his girlfriend while he was in there.”

“Ouch.”

“And since then, touch wood,” Syd brought a hand to her head like her mother had used to do, “he’s been better, I think? Calmer, more present. Like he’s really trying.”

“There’s a very big difference between the way he used to work in New York to the way I know he wants to work.”

“Yeah, we both don’t want that toxic, shouty,”

“Aggressive, demeaning,”

“All of that - we don’t want that, like, at all.” Syd emphasized, “sometimes it feels impossible, but we’re trying.”

“He’s told me about all of you, you know? How much he cares for you all and believes in you.”

“I think he needs to understand how much we want that for him too?” Syd paused with a sprig of Rosemary in her hand. Terry did the same with her knife hovering over a bunch of basil. “I swear he thinks he’s still alone, and he’s trying to keep all the plates spinning and… it’s a lot.”

“I agree.” She said finally. “It’s hard to convince someone they deserve to be loved or that they're not alone.” She said ruefully. “Is that why you’re here?”

“No. Yes? I’m not really sure. Luca suggested I meet you.” Syd shrugged,

“Ahh, my other brilliant young man. That reminds me, I need to call him.”

“He’d heard that I want us to go for stars at The Bear.”

“Well, I can’t advise you on how to get them, exactly.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to.” Syd assured her, “I guess I want to understand Carmy better? We seem to have this… unspoken language, and I want to build on it, and there’s so much I want to learn from him, but also I want him to learn as well? Sometimes, I feel like I should try and be more patient with him, but then he does stupid stuff that makes me want to kill him.”

“Oh I know that feeling all too well! The best thing you can do is to make your relationship airtight. The stars we earned here were earned together because we listened to each other and learned from each other.” Syd nodded in agreement,

“Exactly. He kept telling me the stars were bullshit, we didn’t need them, and why would I want them. Like I’m the only one who wants them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with ambition, Sydney. In fact, it suits you beautifully.” Syd smiled, bashful under Terry’s praise.

“I want them for both of us. I kind of want them so that I can use them to beat Carmy with for the rest of our lives to say, I dunno, ‘look what we can achieve when we believe in each other’? Because I do, I believe in him.” She said earnestly.

“I can tell.”

“He spoke to everyone I’d worked for in the past to understand why I wanted to work at the Beef.”

“Did he find the answer he was looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“And what is the answer?”

“I wanted to work with him.” Terry smiled knowingly.

“Yes. He certainly has that effect.” She set down her knife and picked up her tea instead. “Keep doing what you’re doing, Sydney. He’s a total pain in the arse sometimes, but he’s worth the work.”

“Oh he is absolutely the biggest pain in my ass. Even more than Richie most of the time.” Terry laughed,

“You seem to have a good handle on them. Here, come and see this before I have to go,” she took Syd’s arm and led her down a walkway between the kitchen areas to a photograph on the wall of Carmy and Luca. “My lost boys. I am immensely proud of them.” She said fondly.

“He’s worth the work.” Syd said firmly, mostly to herself.

“He is. And so are you. I cannot wait to try your food. He tells me you’re the best he’s ever seen.” Syd scoffed,

“Oh, be serious right now.”

“I am, darling. I promise. He believes in you. I don’t think those stars are too far out of reach.” She patted Syd’s arm. “Now, I have to get back to work. Thank you for the tea. I hope you got what you needed from our time together?”

“I think I did, thank you, Chef Terry. Thank you for making time for me.”

“I would say anytime, but we both know that’s impossible in this profession. I’ll just say don’t be a stranger instead.”

“You too. He’d love to see you at The Bear, we both would.” As if by magic, Garrett appeared at the end of the corridor. Terry hugged Syd once more and disappeared around the corner. 

“Nice morning?”

“Why does it feel like I just met the Wizard of Oz? Or, like, Willy Wonka? How is she so cool and mysterious?” He smiled as he showed her out, 

“She’s Terry. She’s the best and she likes looking after the people she cares about. It was great to meet you, Syd. We’ll see you again soon.” He closed the door, leaving the building looking like an impenetrable fortress.

~~~~~

She rattled through another day at The Bear on edge, trying to decipher the things she’d learned over the course of the last couple of weeks. On the third attempt of placing a tiny flower onto a starter plate, she threw her tweezers with a groan of frustration.

"Ugggh, fuck me!"

“Breathe mija, breathe.” Tina set a hand on her arm. Syd nodded and stepped back while Tina gently dropped the flower into place. 

“Hands please.” Syd called out once the plate was completed, throwing a grateful look to her Sous.

“Try tellin’ me you don’t need an earth shakin’, mind blowing -”

“Tina, I beg you, do not finish that sentence.” Syd dragged her collar away from her neck, 

“Works wonders for your concentration.” The older woman wiggled her eyebrows.

“Please. Stop.” Syd hissed as Tina moved onto her next task. With a heavy sigh, she locked eyes with Carmy on the expo as he tried to hide a smile behind his hand. “Don’t you fucking start.” She warned.

And now here she was at 3am on Carmy’s doorstep. Another night owl had let her into the main building as they headed out for a run so she’d tiptoed up five flights of stairs and knocked loudly enough to wake him but not so loud it was disruptive to anyone else. The door flung open before she’d dropped her hand and he was pulling on a jacket,

“Woah, fuck -”

“Are you… are you going out? At 3am?”

“I was coming to see you. Wait, how’d you get here?” “Walked?”

“At 3am?” He pulled her into the apartment by her elbow. “Anything could have happened to you?”

“Why were you coming to see me?” She asked defiantly. “Why were you coming to see me?” He replied, avoiding the question completely.

“I need you,” she pleaded. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline,

“Is this… is this about what Tina was saying?” He asked quietly.

“What? No! Oh my god, Carmen! Is that why you think I’m here right now?”

“It’s 3am, Syd. It’s a pretty reasonable guess?”

“No, it is not a reasonable guess! There is… there is nothing reasonable about that guess!” Syd looked mortified.

“Well, look. Okay, thanks for that - thanks a lot -”

“Wait, I didn’t mean that it would be, like, horrible or anything! I didn’t say that, I’m sure it would be great…” She wrung her hands and sighed, trailing off into embarrassment. “Let me start over?” He nodded. 

“Good idea.”

“Hi, sorry to disturb you at 3am. I had an epiphany, and I needed your help.”

“I was up anyway. What can I do?”

"I know what I need to do for us to get those stars," she held her hands up as he started to protest, "I know, we don't need them, they're bullshit, blah blah blah."

"Blah blah blah?"

"I know what you're going to say, Carm. I know you think they're worthless"

"You know a lot, huh?" He said with a smile. 

"More than you give me credit for." She retorted. 

"Syd -"

"Carm. Please. I don't want it for me, I want it for us. I want it because we deserve it and we worked for it."

"What's your epiphany?"

"I need to care about everything, more than anything,” He arched an eyebrow,

“Well… yeah, I distinctly remember telling you that already?”

“I need to learn from you. Like, not just learn, I need to do what Luca did. Get better just by being near you." Both of his hands threaded through his hair and came to rest behind his head. She felt her stomach swoop. “I need to shadow you or something -”

"You are better. You don't need me, Syd."

"I do. I really do. I want you to help me make sure that we do this right. I get you've done the whole suffering for your art thing, but I want us and our team to thrive, not suffer." He fell quiet and watched her closely. "I don't want us to go through the same shit we went through before. We do this right and learn from each other and that is how we care about it more than anything else - by caring for everyone in it." He nodded. 

"Family style. A good, supportive family."

"Yes!” She beamed, “Yes, exactly.”

“OK.”

“And I'm gonna pretty much live in your pocket and you're gonna get so sick of me spending every fucking waking hour with you -"

"I said OK. And I won't get sick of you. Fuck, move in if that's what it takes." 

"Seriously?"

"We will do whatever it takes and we'll do it together. But I swear to god, Syd, while you're watching for fucking stars I'm gonna be watching you. Y'hear me? The second you're not eating or sleeping, I'm gonna be on your ass and we stop. And it takes as long as it takes. It’s not a goddamn race."

"Fine, yes. I'm in."

"It's not gonna be easy?" He warned. "Gets harder every year."

"Good. I know we can do it." He dropped his arms to his sides with a shrug. 

"Ok. Where'dya want to start?"

~~~~~

Phew! This is probably the longest I've gone without posting anything since the early summer! 😅 I couldn't hold off any longer. Fandom seems so quiet at the moment with shows finishing and others on a break... Just trying to keep us all busy and content until we have news!

Let me know what you think, would love so much to hear from you! 💜

#the bear fx #sydcarmy #sydcarmy fic #sydcarmy fanfic #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #carmy x sydney #carmen x sydney #sydney adamu #syd adamu #syd x carmen #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto

[daydreamgoddess14]

This was EVERYTHING!!!

The practice with the kids???

The fucking PRESS CONFERENCE?!?!?!

The line up in the corridor and how much I cried?!?!

It's 8.39 on a Friday morning - I was not emotionally prepared!

Amazing amazing amazing amazing 👏👏👏👏👏

Something There (Chapter 8)

6.7k words

Roy Kent x Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, angst, mentions of slut-shaming and double standards, horrible reporters being horrible, pining, finally some fluff!!!

A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter so far, and has some of my favorite scenes I've ever written!! My heart is HAPPY!!

Series Masterlist

I understood; I understood completely.

Ted Lasso was warm, and kind, and fun. He looked at a person like they mattered and listened with genuine interest. He made you feel like he’d have your back and believed in you.

Ted Lasso was exactly what I needed.

After chatting over drinks about our backgrounds and careers, delving into our shared deep love for sports and coaching, he finally broached the subject that had been plaguing me nonstop for what felt like an eternity.

“So. How’re you doing? With all this… hullabaloo?”

He was too kind and polite to even name the hell I was living in.

A grimace crossed my face as I lifted my beer to my lips, trying to delay answering the question for as long as possible while those patient eyes gazed at me. Finally, I had no choice but to fill the silence. “I am… okay,” I finally mumbled. “Trying to just focus on the team, you know?”

Ted nodded, watching me carefully. “I completely understand,” he hummed. “Well, I mean, not completely of course. It’s mighty unfair the way they talk about you. But…” He shrugged, giving a small pop with his mouth. “I mean, they weren’t exactly nice to me when I got here. The press, the team, hell, even Becca.” His face softened at those last couple of words. “But, eyes on the prize, as they say.” He patted my hand gently, a paternal touch I didn’t realize I needed. “Now, like I said, I don’t totally understand what you’re going through. But if you need someone who has some small idea, well, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Ted,” I murmured. “I really appreciate it.”

He shrugged, turning his attention to glance around the pub. “Anytime, Clementine.”

After a moment, I opened my mouth again. “I’ve just waited my whole life for this. To be a role model, more than a pretty face that runs fast. Sometimes that’s all I felt like back when I played. And being a coach, well everything depends on my brain, you know?” Ted’s understanding nod urged me on. “And I was finally doing it. I was winning, and because England actually gives some semblance of a crap about soccer, people started to know who I was. And then…” A big breath left my lungs. “And then this… thing happens, and it’s like nothing else matters. Olympic medals, World Cups, national titles, win streaks. Nope. Everyone thinks I’m just another Roy Kent girl.”

“You’re not just another Roy Kent girl,” Ted assured me. “It might feel like it, whatever that means, but you’re not. You’re Coach Buck, for Pete’s sake.” His smile warmed all the cold parts of my heart that had developed since Keeley first showed me the photos. “And it might feel like everyone thinks so, but I can tell you for a fact it’s not true.” He pulled out his phone and showed me the freckle-faced kid who took up his lock screen. “My boy has not stopped asking about you since I got here. Kid thinks you’re the absolute bee’s knees, Coach. He doesn’t care about these stupid headlines or what you do off the field. Heck, he even told me I should ask you for some coaching pointers.”

Beer nearly shot out of my nose as I let out a thankful laugh. “Ted Lasso, you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that.”

“Sure, I do.” He bumped his shoulder into mine. “Sometimes, ya just need a reminder about why we do what we do. To inspire other people to be their best selves.” He nodded towards his phone before pocketing it. “And you sure as heck inspire this kid. And I’m willing to bet he ain’t the only one.”

I stared at him for a moment. “You know… If you want, we could Facetime him while you’re here. If you think he’d like that, I mean.”

Lasso’s smile lit up the whole pub. “He’d love that, Coach.”

~

“Hey, Coach. Ready for that chat?”

A growl escaped Roy’s throat as Ted entered the empty office. “No,” he huffed, turning his attention back to the playbook on his desk.

Ignoring Roy’s scowl, not for the first time since they’d met, Ted plopped himself down on Beard’s desk, eyebrows raised. “I know what you need,” he announced, leaning over to grab the phone off Roy’s desk. “Better get some bones and treats, because I’m calling the Diamond Dogs.”

Before Roy could protest, Ted had called Higgins and texted Nate and Beard; almost instantly the office was filled with the sounds of howling and barking that Roy was sure anyone who was still in the building could hear. The men assembled, closing doors and perching themselves in chairs and against walls, eyes expectantly trained on Roy, as if they already knew the reason for this meeting.

When Roy glared at Ted, the American knew he’d have to get the ball rolling.

“Diamond Dogs,” he announced, “as y’all know, our favorite junkyard dog here has been goin’ through somethin’. I bet he could use some friendly ears to bark at.” He nodded to Roy. “Coach?”

There was no getting out of this. Roy knew that. So, he might as well get it over with.

“Yeah.” He turned his chair and plopped his feet on his desk, trying to keep up his uncaring demeanor. “You all fucking know. Fucking photos, fucking paparazzi and reporters, blah blah blah.” He nodded to Ted, whose face was stupidly supportive. “There. Done.”

Nate cleared his throat. “What about you and Coach Buck?”

It was probably the harshest scowl Roy had given in a long time. “What about me and Coach Buck?” His chest felt tight just saying her name out loud.

“Well…” Nate’s eyes were on the ceiling. “I mean, the two of you were getting kind of close, weren’t you? Before all this happened?” He seemed to shrink slightly under Roy’s glare. “Weren’t you?”

“We’re not close,” Roy spat. “So, dunno what there is to talk about.”

Beard sighed and narrowed his eyes at Roy. “How about we talk about how unhappy you’ve been ever since this all went down? How about we talk about the fact that you slept with her- don’t make that face at me, neither of you have denied it- and now you both look like the most miserable people in the world? Let’s talk about that.”

Before Roy could argue, Higgins cleared his throat. “Roy, have you tried, I don’t know, talking to the poor girl?”

Was there a way to renounce his membership from the fucking Diamond Dogs? “As a matter of fact, we have talked. And she wants nothing to do with me. So, again, what’s the point in any of this?”

Ted cleared his throat. “If I may, Coach, it sure didn’t look like she wanted nothing to do with ya when I saw y’all in the parking lot.” His face was soft. “She seemed pretty grateful for your help, actually. Did everything but call you her knight in shining armor when she told me about that paparazzo.”

Roy rolled his eyes, hating the blush on his face for betraying him. “Yeah, well, that’s about all I’m good for probably.” He stared at his shoes for a moment, scrunching his nose. “Just hate seeing her so fucking miserable,” he heard himself admit quietly. “It’s not really fair, this shit. All that ‘takes two to tango’ shit, but no one’s saying a word about me. It’s stupid as hell.” Dammit, he was ranting now. “And I just want to fucking fix everything but I can’t.”

“You could be her friend,” Ted said quietly. “It sounds like she could really use more of those right now.” He cleared his throat. “You know, I told her all about how Henry just really admires her- heck, I think there might be a little crush there too- and let me tell you, she looked so relieved to hear that. We actually FaceTimed him earlier today before he went to school, and man she was almost as jazzed as he was.” Ted shrugged.

Higgins nodded. “I think she just needs to feel supported and respected right now.” He cocked his head at Roy. “Just give her that, Roy. The rest will follow.”

“The fuck do you mean ‘the rest’-?”

The sound of a door opening had the men jumping. Through the window, Roy could see Buck stroll into her office, sipping her water bottle and looking at something on her phone. She froze, as if she could feel the eyes of the Diamond Dogs on her. She blinked several times when she looked up and saw the Greyhounds office filled with men staring. With her eyes on Roy, she gave a small, awkward wave before sitting at her desk and turning to her computer.

Ted smiled at Roy. “Diamond Dogs, dismissed.”

With soft barks and yaps, the men dispersed, ready to call it a day and go home. Roy sat at his desk, staring through that window, watching her type away. He thought about what they’d said; for some reason, he felt struck by Ted’s mention of Henry. Not quite sure what he was doing, Roy stood and approached the door that separated their offices. He opened it softly, raising his eyebrows when she turned around to look at him.

“Knock, knock,” he mumbled stupidly.

Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but Roy would take what he could get. “Hey, Coach.” She wrinkled her nose. “What the fuck was all that barking?”

“Barking? What barking?” Roy entered the office and perched on Lucas’s desk, feigning ignorance as he stared at the too-pretty manager.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she chuckled with an eyeroll. “Need something? I’m just trying to finish a couple emails before I head out.”

Roy studied her face for a moment. His gaze briefly flickered to her Brandi Chastain poster before returning to those eyes that made his insides squirm. “Would you want to come meet Phoebe’s football team?”

She blinked a few times. “Phoebe’s team?” she echoed.

He nodded, feeling good about himself for once. “Yeah. She asked me a while ago about inviting you, hasn’t shut up about you since the charity game actually.” He shrugged. “I think it’d be… fun.”

The hesitation in her eyes was heartbreaking. “Oh, I don’t know, Roy…” She bit her lip. “What if the parents don’t like me being there?”

Fuck, her voice was tiny. “If they don’t like the idea of a fucking Olympic champion watching their daughter’s football practice, they can deal with me,” he huffed. “What d’you say? Want to make me the coolest uncle in the world?”

“Well, in that case.” A genuine little smile graced her face. “Alright. Fine. I’m there.”

~

Leaving the Dog Track to go meet Roy and the girls’ team, I felt that familiar mixture of excitement and anxiety, the kind I got before games, or before an important meeting. It was a good feeling; I hadn’t had it in a while. My phone vibrating interrupted my reflecting on why this practice had me so wound-up.

“Hello?”

“Hey there.” I could hear Geroge’s smile through the phone. “I know it’s last minute, but I wanted to see if you’d want to grab dinner tonight?”

I cleared my throat as I started my walk towards the address Roy had given me. “Oh, sorry, not tonight, George. I’ve got plans.”

The disappointment in his voice was kind of sweet. “No problem. Anything exciting?”

Why did I feel weird telling him?

“Kent invited me to come meet his niece’s team,” I explained slowly. “So I’m heading on over to the school to go see their practice, say hello to the girls. Should be fun.” I tried to keep my voice light and casual, as if this was a totally normal thing to do.

Goerge was silent for a moment. “Oh. That’s lovely of you.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t you think it’s a little risky though? Being out like that? Someone might see the two of you, take some pictures…”

I passed a Whippets advertisement, one that had yet to be graffitied. “I mean, it’s a kids’ soccer practice. I doubt the press’ll be there,” I pointed out with a huffy chuckle. “And honestly, I don’t really care if anyone sees. What can they say about me visiting a girls’ team that they didn’t already say about me going into Roy Kent’s house?”

Another silence came, the same one that usually followed references to the fact that I’d slept with Roy; I hadn’t directly told George that I had, he hadn’t directly asked, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out. It was clearly not something George liked thinking about, and it was something I did my best to avoid bringing up. But for some reason, it slipped out now.

“Well,” he finally murmured. “I think you’ll have a good time. Should be a fun little evening with the kids… and Kent.” He paused. “Call me later?”

“Sure,” I hummed, hating the sinking feeling that I’d done something wrong. “Talk to you later.” I shoved my phone into my pocket and continued my walk, trying to ignore whatever that phone call was and focus instead on the evening ahead of me.

When I finally arrived at the school field, I realized my heart was hammering. It was kind of ridiculous; I’d done school visits and things like that. I’d spoken in front of crowds of students and young athletes. But for some reason, visiting one little girls’ soccer team had me feeling the way I did before stepping onto the field for the World Cup: anxious, unable to breathe.

But a high-pitched squeal immediately brought a smile to my face.

“Coach Buck!”

With a small wave, I approached the group of girls that were passing and warming up; immediately, I was tackled by a familiar blonde.

“Hey, Pheobe,” I chuckled, hugging her back. “How’ve you been?”

She beamed up at me. “Good! I’m so glad you came. I’ve been asking and asking Uncle Roy to invite you. And-”

“And she’s fucking here, ain’t she?” Roy wrapped an arm around Phoebe and shoved her aside. “Go warm up, you.” As Phoebe scampered away, he nodded to me. “Coach.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at him. “Coach.”

He cleared his throat, suddenly the picture of nervousness. “Right. So, I was thinking, I’d introduce you to the team, you could say a few words if you want, and maybe you could help run training? Unless you’d rather just watch. Either way’s fine with me.”

“I’d love to help.”

His face turned relieved. “Great.” He turned towards the group of girls, who were more interested in us than in their warmup. “Oi! Huddle up!” As soon as the girls were gathered around, Roy nodded curtly at me. “This here’s Coach Buck. She manages the Richmond Whippets. And, in case Phoebe here hasn’t already told you, she’s a World Cup champion and has an Olympic gold medal.” The excited buzzing from the girls had me fighting a smile- and it looked like Roy was fighting one too. “She wanted to come say hello to you all and help with practice. Sound good?”

“Yes, Coach!”

Roy raised an eyebrow at me. “Coach?”

With a deep breath, I took a step forward, willing myself to gaze at the little faces staring back with solemn expressions of excitement and awe. “Hello, ladies,” I greeted, putting on my best smile. “Roy- Coach Kent- has told me that you are probably the best team he coaches.” Their little giggles began to put me at ease. “And I am so excited to get to hang out with you today and see what you’ve got!”

The next hour was the best one I’d had since I moved to England- probably one of the best hours of my entire life. The girls were more than talented- they were enthusiastic, fierce, passionate, determined, fearless, everything I remembered being at their age. They played as if there was no such thing as losing or getting hurt. Every mistake was an opportunity to get better, every success was meant to be exceeded. By the end of practice, I knew every girl’s name and felt a tug in my heart when they called me “Coach”.

“Uncle Roy,” Phoebe hummed as he gathered the team at the end of practice. “Can we try to get past you?”

Roy glanced in my direction before shrugging. “You girls really want to play?”

The resounding YES had me wondering what ‘getting past’ Roy meant. As if she could sense my curiosity, Phoebe tugged my hand.

“You’re going to love this, Coach Buck,” she gushed. “It’s our favorite!”

The girls lined up, bouncing with excitement, while Roy grabbed a ball and jogged towards one of the goals made of a couple of cones. With the ease of someone who’d done this dozens of times, he rolled the ball to Kokoruda, who was first in line. She immediately began dribbling towards Roy and made a respectable attempt to score on the experienced player.

“Next!” he barked after kicking the ball out of bounds.

One by one, the girls tried to score on Roy; and each one failed.

“You don’t go easy on them?” I probed as I trotted over to Roy to return another ball to him.

He caught the ball with ease. “Fuck no,” he chuckled. “Their opponents won’t ever go easy on ‘em, will they? Why should I?”

Before I could concede that he had a point, Phoebe called out, “Coach Bucky! You should try!”

With a smirk, Roy tossed the ball back to me. “Yeah, Coach Bucky. You should try.”

Maybe it was being around the girls, maybe it was the cockiness on Roy Kent’s face. Maybe it was something else. “Fine, I’ll try,” I shot back, taking my place at the front of the line. I looked at the girls. “Any of you ever get it past him?” When they all shook their heads, my grin grew. “Well, guess he’s due for a loss then.”

I stood with my foot on top of the ball for a moment, just staring down Roy Kent. He narrowed his eyes playfully, a smile almost breaking through his serious glare. With a deep breath, I began dribbling, wondering when I had last just played like this. Roy jogged out to meet me, expertly trying to get the ball out of my control. We moved this way, that way; I was a bit surprised how well I was doing against him, if I was being honest.

“Not going easy on me, are you Kent?” I huffed, very aware of the way his body pressed against mine as he tried to steal the ball from behind me.

“Not a fucking chance,” he assured me, his breath tickling my neck.

With what I hoped was a casual chuckle, I found my opening, evading Roy and making my way towards the goal, a smaller target than I was used to. As I inched forward, I felt a pair of hands brush my sides, warm and playful.

Phoebe’s giggling voice interrupted the reeling in my head. “Uncle Roy, that’s a foul!”

“Right!” came a gruff voice behind me, laughing as the hands disappeared.

Able to return my focus to the ball at my feet, I sprinted forward, ankle be damned, and broke away from Roy; the ball sailed between the cones with ease, giving me that old, thrilling feeling of scoring a goal. When I turned around, the girls were cheering- and Roy was smiling at me.

“My knee’s fucked,” he huffed jokingly between breaths, hands on his hips as he approached. “That was hardly fair.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him as we started to walk back towards the team. “Oh, and what would you call my ankle?”

His smile widened. “Also fucked.”

Before I could snark back, the girls tackled me with hugs and shouts, clearly impressed that anyone could get past their burly coach. Roy eyed me over their heads, his face soft, reminding me of the night of the gala. All I could do was grin back at him, wondering if he felt the same warmth in his chest that I felt.

Roy dismissed his team, reminding them about their upcoming game, one they begged me to come watch. To my shock, a few parents stopped me to shake my hand and ask if they could get a picture of me with their daughter; that warm feeling in my chest grew with each “My daughter adores you!” or “It’s so cool that you came!” The whole time, Roy and Phoebe collected the equipment, with Phoebe watching me with great interest.

As the last of the girls left, I meandered over to the coach and his niece, stopping when I found myself looking into those brown eyes.

“Thanks, Kent,” I said, wondering if he could hear the thick emotion in my voice. “This… this was exactly what I needed.”

His eyes sparkled. “What, a bunch of little girls worshipping you?”

A snort escaped when I tried to hold back my laughter. “They didn’t worship-”

“Fuck off,” he chuckled, giving me a soft punch in the arm. “They fucking adored you. You’re their queen or some shit. Seriously-” He bobbled his head playfully. “-they’re probably planning a coup to get rid of me so you can be their coach.” He pointed to Pheobe, who was hovering nearby, obviously anxious to interrupt our conversation. “And that little traitor will be leading the fucking cavalry.” He waved her over. “Come say goodnight, Phoebe.”

Phoebe wrapped her arms around me, giving a squeeze. “Thank you for coming,” she gushed before letting go. “You know I have your poster in my room?” Her smile was full of pride. “I told Uncle Roy I wanted one, so he got one for me. It’s right above my dresser, so I can see it when I get ready for football.”

My jaw dropped slightly as my gaze shifted between Phoebe and Roy, who shrugged at me. Before I could think of something to say, he opened his mouth.

“I’ll make you a deal, Pheebs,” he started, eyes fixated on me. “You score in our next match, I’ll take you to see the Whippets, and we can ask very nicely if Coach Buck here will sign your poster.”

A lump formed in my throat when I saw the delight on Phoebe’s face. “Yeah,” I managed to choke out as I blinked back tears. “I could do that.”

~

There was a dull ache in Roy’s knee when he arrived at the Dog Track early the next morning, but it was a hell of a lot better than the sharp pain in his chest that seemed to be slowly disappearing. He figured he’d pop into the treatment room, grab some ice and baby his knee before getting ready for training.

When he walked through the door, he realized he wasn’t the only one that needed some tending to.

There she was, leg propped up on a chair, ice on her ankle as she scrolled on her phone. Her head snapped up at the sound of the door opening, and her face broke into one of those perfect smiles when she saw it was Roy. Without a word, they both started chuckling, almost relieved to see that the other had also overdone it the night before.

“Guess you meant it when you said you weren’t going easy on me,” she mused, watching Roy grab himself an ice pack.

He chuckled and rolled up his trackpants to expose his knee, flinching slightly as the cold touched his bare skin. “You’d fucking kill me if I did,” he pointed out. “It’d be fucking insulting.” After a moment of silence, staring at each other’s injuries, Roy opened his mouth again. “I’ll be at your game tonight,” he murmured, hoping he sounded casual.

Instead of the surprised look he expected, he swore he saw pleasure on her face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He let his eyes linger on her face. “I know the guys’ve been trying to go to as many matches as possible to show their support. Told Sam and Jamie I’d be joining them tonight. Richmond til we die, right?”

“Richmond til we die,” she repeated, her soft smile nearly stopping Roy’s heart.

Their quiet moment was interrupted by the door opening again. Rebecca stood with her hand on the doorknob, eyebrows raised at the sight of her two managers grinning at each other and icing their injuries.

“Good morning, coaches,” she greeted in a light voice, eyebrows raising slightly higher when she locked eyes with Roy before turning to the Whippets manager. “Just wanted to check in, I know you’ve got a long day. Match is at six, I believe some of the Greyhounds will be there again-”

Roy couldn’t resist piping up. “We will be.”

Rebecca didn’t bother hiding her smile as she went on. “After the match, Keeley will take Lucas to the press room, and you and I can-”

This time, the other manager interrupted her. “No.”

“No?” Rebecca blinked.

“Fuck it,” she sighed, sitting up and tossing her ice pack aside. “This is my team, right? I’m doing the press conference. Luke has covered for me long enough.”

Rebecca tilted her head sympathetically. “Are you sure?”

For a moment, those eyes turned to Roy, silently asking for his thoughts, as though his opinion mattered to her. When he gave her the tiniest, almost unnoticeable nod, she looked back at Rebecca, head held high. “Hell yeah.”

Roy had chosen the right match to come to, he realized. A 4-0 win to move into first place had him grinning with the Greyhounds as they cheered on the Whippets before they disappeared back into the tunnel. For a moment, he locked eyes with Buck, who tapped her fingers to her temple, giving Roy’s signature little salute. He saluted back, ignoring the grin on Jamie’s face. Maybe, just maybe, the two managers could grab a drink together to celebrate her win. Roy’s treat, of course. She’d more than earned it.

But first, she had a press conference to give. The Whippets and Greyhounds, intent on celebrating together, assembled in the weight room and gathered around the televisions on the wall. Roy stood right in front, Jamie by his side, eyes glued to the screen as she took her seat, red lips curled into a perfect smile.

Initially, the questions were typical post-match queries: how did she feel about the performance, what did she have to say about this error, how thrilling was that goal. And she handled them all with ease, reminding Roy of that first press conference he’d watched, where he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. But now, instead of a scowl, he almost wore a smile watching her, and he finally understood why his heart was hammering so hard. Yeah, this was good. She was good.

Until the questions weren’t good.

“Roy Kent was in the stands today,” one reporter called out. “Any thoughts on that?”

Her smile faltered as her eyes shifted away from the crowd in front of her. “Oh. Yes, the Greyhounds have been great in showing their support for the Whippets.” Her smile returned, though not as confident as before. “We’re overdue to cheer them on, so keep an eye out for us at their next match!”

Another question came at her. “What is your relationship with Roy now?”

She cleared her throat. “All the coaches here at Richmond have a great respect and fondness for one another. We’re lucky to have two great staffs that work together so well. It’s how we get wins like the one we had today, on both the men’s and women’s sides.”

Roy felt his face burn, along with several pairs of eyes staring at him. He didn’t care that she avoided the question; it was the same non-answer Keeley had given him to spout out whenever he got asked the same thing. It was the way the question came out, accusatory and aggressive, that had him frowning.

“Does your dominant personality play a role in your relationship with Roy Kent?”

There was no denying the way she scrunched her nose, fully understanding the implication. “Again, all of us coaches hold each other in high regard and have great professional relationships. Now, if you want to talk dominance, out there on the field today, Kira-”

“Speaking of Kira Malone,” a gruff voice interrupted. “She was recently seen at a pub with Jamie Tartt. Do you think your affair with Roy Kent has made the Whippets think it’s okay to run around with the Greyhounds? Is that professional?”

She began sputtering for the first time. “I would hardly call it an affair- But honestly, they’re adults, they’re professionals, I honestly-”

“And you were spotted with Ted Lasso recently,” another voice called out. “Can we assume you’ve moved on from Roy Kent?”

Her eyes widened, but she tried to recover her cool. “Coach Lasso’s a great coach. I-”

A harsh laugh rang out of the speakers. “Yeah, what does Kent think of your relationship with his ex-manager?”

Roy took a step towards the door; he knew that running into that press room would make things worse, would be a headline every paper would be running in the morning, but he didn’t give a fuck. His whole body was burning with fury as he listened to them challenge and fucking laugh at her.

A hand clasped his shoulder; Jamie was shaking his head, eyes full of sympathy, as if he too wanted to rush in and rescue her. But they both knew that she needed to do this on her own.

“Oi, is Roy why you always wear that red lipstick? Should we expect to see it on his collar sometime?”

She looked small, so impossibly small, not at all like the woman Roy had been fighting with and falling for all these months. Her defiance disappeared under their demeaning questions, her fierceness was stolen by their laughter, her cockiness was stifled by their mockery.

“What kind of example do you think you’re setting for the girls of Richmond? Sleeping with Roy Kent and all?”

That seemed to be the question that knocked the fight out of her.

“Oh, fuck this,” Roy growled, tugging out his phone. He quickly typed six little words, the first text message he’d ever sent her.

Don’t you fucking dare play nice.

Her eyes flickered to her phone, eyebrows raising; Roy knew she’d gotten his message. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting them continue to shout and shame her. Finally, she sat up tall, jaw set, and stared down the crowd in front of her.

“You know what?” she asked, her voice low and gravely. “Fuck these questions you keep asking me.” Roy was sure he heard Keeley squeak on the television. “You’re not asking Roy Kent these questions. You’re not asking if he’s a good role model. You’re not questioning his ability to manage his team.” She shook her head. “What message am I sending to young girls? Really? How about what message are you sending?”

Roy was sure it was Kira Malone’s voice behind him calling out, “Fuck yeah, Buck!”

She sat up taller now. “I am a fucking Olympian. I am a champion coach. I have won more titles and trophies and medals than this entire building combined.”

“Tell ‘em, Coach!” Jamie laughed, nodding up at her face onscreen.

Roy’s mind wandered, of all places, to his niece. To the way she adored that loud, abrasive woman, a woman who was standing up for girls like Phoebe. A lump formed in his throat as he listened; fuck, he might actually fucking cry. And he didn’t care if the Greyhounds saw the tears in his eyes. He didn’t even care about the way Jamie was staring at him; he was too enraptured by the scene unfolding on the television.

“I chose to sleep with a nice man one time, and suddenly all my accomplishments don’t matter? Who cares about Olympic gold when you’ve gone to bed with Roy Kent? What defines me is who I go home with? What message is that for the daughters of Richmond? You’re telling your girls that their accomplishments and dreams are nothing compared with what they do in the bedroom. No.” Her eyes were hard and steely as she shook her head. “Fuck this. I’m done. If I wanted to go and sleep with Roy Kent tonight, that’s my own damn business. If I wanted to sleep with any other man, or woman, or whoever, that’s my business.”

Shouts of agreement echoed through the weight room, from both Whippets and Greyhounds. A smile crept across Roy’s lips; fuck, she was incredible. If he wasn’t in love before, he definitely was now.

“What example am I setting for the girls of Richmond?” she asked with a dry laugh. “Not letting jackasses like you question our worth because of a man. That’s the example I’m setting. So if you’re here to ask about my sex life, you can fuck right off. It’s not up for debate, not anymore. It’s not what we’re talking about, now or ever. What I’m here to talk about is the fact that the Whippets are in first place and are expected to finish in the top three in our first damn season. How about you ask me about that?”

~

My heartbeat throbbed in my ears as I stood up, only vaguely registering the female reporters and handful of men who also stood, clapping and calling out words of support. I grabbed my phone and rushed out of the press room, not bothering to look at Keeley and Rebecca; I’d apologize to them later. I’d do whatever Keeley needed me to do to spin this. I’d offer to do whatever public appearances Rebecca demanded.

But first, I needed to get to my office to hyperventilate in peace.

As my feet did their job, carrying me down the halls, I became aware of the sound of… clapping? Cheering?

When I turned the last corner that would take me to the changing room, I finally stopped in my tracks.

Lining the hall were both Richmond teams, a beautiful jumble of smiles and applause and cheers, all watching me with affection. Suddenly, I found myself smothered with hugs and kisses and handshakes. Kira held me close, whispering in my ear about how proud she was to play for me; Jamie Tartt kissed my forehead and called me a bad-ass; over and over, Greyhounds and Whippets embraced me and offered their love and support.

By the time I reached the locker room, tears were freely streaming down my face, releasing all the emotion I’d been holding back in the press room; hell, all the emotion I’d been holding back since Keeley first showed me the photos of me and Roy.

The Greyhounds coaches stood in front of the locker room, pride shining on their faces. Beard and Nate each held me tight, murmuring about how amazed they were. Finally, Roy stood in front of me, his eyes watery as he gazed down at me.

“Welcome back, Coach,” he hummed, sticking out his hand.

I grasped his hand, shaking it firmly, unable to hold back my tearful smile. “Good to be back, Coach,” I murmured. I gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. “And thank you,” I whispered.

He shook his head softly. “Anytime.”

A pair of arms wrapped around me; Lucas was hugging me, tighter than anyone else had. “I’m so proud of you,” he choked out, crying almost as hard as I was. “So fucking proud, kid.”

With one last look at Roy, I let Lucas steer me into our office, listening to him chatter about how much he loved my little speech. I collapsed in my chair and laughed, from disbelief that I had just done that. My phone went off; George.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, wiping my face. “Did ya see me?”

“What the hell, Buck?” he hissed. “You just made things so much harder on yourself. They’re not going to forgive you for this. They’re not going to like you after this. Trust me, I know these people.”

When Lucas saw the way my face fell, he gave my shoulder a squeeze and left, figuring I needed some privacy.

I hunched over my desk and clutched my phone to my face. “To be honest, George, I don’t think I care if they like me. They don’t respect me, so why do I care if they think I’m nice?” I shook my head. “I’m proud of myself, actually. And so is my team. And so are the Greyhounds.” And so is Roy Kent, a little voice in the back of my head whispered.

He paused. “It was good,” he sighed. “You sounded great. Honestly, it was a great ‘girl power’ moment.” There was another moment of quiet on his end before his voice turned thoughtful. “You know, I bet we could do a great article about this. Give your side of things, talk all about the slut-shaming and double standards-”

“Didn’t you listen to what I said?” I scoffed, sensing someone approaching my office. “I’m fucking done talking about this. I’m not answering questions about this, ever again. Everyone knows I had sex with Roy Kent, that’s more than they need to know. I don’t owe anyone anything else.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Why don’t we grab a late dinner? Could, I dunno, celebrate your win or something.”

For the first time since we met, I had no interest in seeing George Willows. “Not tonight,” I muttered. “I just… want to go home. Sleep. Avoid Twitter.” I finally turned, realizing it was, of all people, Roy hovering in my doorway. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Not waiting for a reply, I hung up, tossing my phone on my desk before turning my chair around, raising my eyebrows teasingly at Roy. “Need something? Or are you going to send me another inspiring text message?”

He stared at me, mouth open like he was about to speak. Finally, he just shook his head and let out a breathy chuckle. “Fuck,” he breathed, stepping further into my office. “You… you were fucking something today, you know that?”

I shook my head and stood up, meeting him in the middle of the room. “Kent-”

“No.” He smirked at me. “Take the fucking compliment.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to tell you I was… really impressed today.” He cleared his throat. “On the field. In the press room. You’re a fucking great manager.” He let out a deep breath, eyes shifting around the office. “Don’t think I’ve told you that, and I’m sorry I haven’t.” He met my gaze, his smirk becoming a smile. “And I am very glad Phoebe has someone like you to look up to. So… that’s it, I guess.”

Roy Kent was looking at me with admiration. Roy Kent, who’d hated me and screamed at me. Roy Kent, who’d slept with me. Roy Kent, who asked me to speak to a girls’ soccer team. Roy Kent.

Roy Kent, who I wrapped my arms around and pulled into a hug. Not giving a shit about anything outside my tiny office, I pressed my body close to his, squeezing him tight. I buried my face in his shoulder, letting my tear-stained face dampen his Greyhounds shirt. His words, the look on his face, they were exactly what I needed.

His hands hovered over my hips, not returning the embrace, and I could hear him clear his throat, the vibration rumbling against my chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Immediately regretting my impulsive action, I pulled back, positive my face was bright red. “Shit,” I mumbled, my mind reeling from the roller coaster of emotions I was having tonight. “Sorry, I-”

Suddenly, I was pulled back to Roy’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I swore he sighed when my arms returned to his neck, and when my head hit his chest, I could hear his heart pounding, just as hard as I knew mine was. We stood there, hugging, wrapped up in whatever little world we were in, away from the press and the rumors and the judgement.

Just me and Roy.

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