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queer-as-frikc · 3 years

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My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

#transphobia #transphobia tw #biphobia tw #abuse tw

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Loud House Reviews: Schooled!

Season 5, and regular coverage begin! The loud house finally moves into a new year chronologically: Lincoln and Co move up to Middle School but find themselves seperated when LIncoln accidently signs up for the wrong class and ends up with a mean teacher and frienemy chandler, and then ends up commuting to a Canadian school instead. The Canada part is more believable than a middle school not having multiple teachers for multiple subjects frankly but more ranting on that later. Meanwhile in order to get Lori moves on to college only to find every dorm is a comedic set piece, and Lynn Sr and Rita try to get Lily ready for pre school by potty training her. Finally in all this chaos Leni ends up attending pre school. Again still more believable than the single class thing. Ramblings about well guess, how amazing it is the show has lasted this long in this day and age, my thoughts on Lynn Jr being kind a obnoxious. 50% chad and my lessened hatred for rusty. Which again I assure you is more believable than the single class nonsense. Back to School, under the cut.

Welcome readers new and old to regular coverage of The Loud House! Couple of reasons for that. The first is, like amphibia, so I don’t fall behind as I tend to procastinate and let episodes of shows pile up, and i’m tired of it. The second is that I feel we need more Loud House content on this site that’s not loudcest, people shipping sam and lincoln soley to try and get back at the show for having a gay couple, and some weird stuff I can’t quite unwrap because i’m old. And keep in mind I understand 50% chad just fine.. look at him.

So yeah I have a feeling young or old, i’m not the only one scared to go int here and hopefully I can give ya’ll something fun to look forward to or worth sifting through it.

Now i’ve covered the show before.. 4 times in fact, having covered Brave the last dance as a one off way back and having covered ALL THREE SALUNA episodes during pride month. So check those out if you want my previous thoughts on the show as a whole, my faviorite character and her special lady, and me ranting about rusty/.. and we’ll get to him. But i’ve got a lot to talk about, some of it not directly about the episode so pitter pat er let’s get at eer. The first thing I want to talk about is.. how big an occasion the show is. It’s not only at 5 seasons but it recently got renewed for a 6th and still has a movie on the way.. as I hope so does rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.. please don’t let that movie have been canceled, that show went from okay to leaving me wanting more of my mad dogs... but yeah getting back on track they’ve offically reached...

And that’s.. incredibly rare ESPECIALLY for nick. I mean yes spongebob will never die, and the fairly oddparents died way after it should’ve, but for the most part nick is a giant tire fire of dickheads when it comes to running a network. They have an absolutley ghastly habit of canceling a show as soon as possible, and if they already commissioned season 2 shuttling it to sister network nicktoons to die a quite death. They expect every show to become an overnight sucess, or else and it’s a freaking disgusting practice. And it’s still going: I mean just to bookend it, around the same time loud house started, we got the utter classic Harvey Beaks. The show had a sizeable audiences and what kids I showed it to loved it but because it wasn’t doing spongebob numbers Nick shuttled it to nicktoons then yelled at it’s creator for daring to be upset they you know.. moved his show to their designated graveyard without telling him and ended the show without giving them notice to change the ending. The final episode still WORKS as a final episode, but it wasn’t INTENDED to end on a bittersweet note and I blanme that on nick. The bookend part comes from the fact that about a month before this Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes ended it’s run.. on Nicktoons, with no fanfare and like Harvey fans likely only knowing thanks to scheduling, had it’s final season cut in half so they had to rush the pacing of the final few episodes to wrap up as much as they could, AND the cancelation reason was the always reliably stupid “low toy sales” excuse. The odds of a show surviving on nick, nevermind thriving are very slim and even outside the nightmare factory that is my once beloved childhood network, most animated shows last around 3 seasons. Disney channel usually cuts htem off around 4, and cartoon network around 3 if their that nice, with utter classic OK KO being one of the latest victims of the cancelation bug, and steven unvierse only got a 6th season after essentially being canceled and having to rush the ending, only THEN getting to go back and fill in the cracks with Future and the Movie. And unlike fellow network loved show that’s gone on for a while, Teen Titans Go, the Loud House is still a pretty good show. It has it’s bumps, we’ll talk about some of them here and i’ve talked about em before, especially the “”With the casagrandes mini” which could’ve easily hurt said show but thankfully didn’t. It’s grown, going from being about the one boy among ten girls to being about all 11 kids, AND their parents and making earnest attempts to make once hated characters like Lori and Lola fully fleshed out.. it’s been more 50 50 with lynn, but more on that later. My point is the show’s tried to evolve, to grow out of having a simple status quo and actually let things change and it’s refreshing when a lot of comedy shows refuse to. The show CAN be hit ore miss in quality, but hte misses have become less cruel and the hits have become that much more impactful.

Not only that but the show surivived the seeming impossible of it’s creator being revealed to be a sexual harassing creepy asshole who hopefully gets his dick sanded off for all eternity when he invetibly ends up in hell or whatevers next. Screw him but good on Nick for firing him swiftly, one of the few times in the last few years i could really say that about them and not be sarcastic, and good on the crew for carrying on easily without him.

My point is.. it’s nice to not be attending another show’s funeral. After rise and then venture bros, it’s NICE to have a show surivive and carry on and decide NOT to rest at this stage and stay in it’s comfort zone but shake things up a bit. It’s nice in this stinkhole of a year to have something to celebrate, and yes i’m aware a back to school specail is ill timed, for obvious reasons, but it was likely in production long before covid and I can’t fault the writers for wanting to give kids an escape, nor for doing the quarntine special earlier to help them talk through it. So congrats loud house you earned it. Now that’s out of the way, the not resting thing.. the thing that has me covering the show, and had me exxcited for this episode.. is that they decided to shake things up a lot by moving all the kids up an age and moving Lori up to college. And what makes this work.. is this wasn’t something they just sprung on the audience. it would’ve worked with that after 4 years of the same age and general stuff.. but season 3 started setting it up with Lincoln and Clyde’s middle school visit and Lori’s college interview, both things i’ll likely cover ventually, while Season 4, after the mini series, had most Lori episodes focus on getting her ready for it: From her senior year, to Leni realizing she’d be gone and being panicky over it, to her working to get a car, which she rides off in this episode. The show dedicated one of it’s few arcs, and probably the only non-romantic one outside of Ronnie Anne and Bobby moving to their spinoff, to this.

They were all in on this and there was no turning back, and shaking up the status quo like this is a risk as some viewers fear change and run from it like cowards> Me.. I loved it. I loved the idea of taking Lincoln to a new school, giving him and his friends new stuff to do and new challenges to face, having Lori move away, have Luna learn to drive, have Lisa enter kindergarten, Lily say more etc. And there’s even things I didn’t think of that two upcoming episode synposis suprised me with: birthday episodes, though it’d be best to spread them out but i’m hoping strife of the party isn’t the only one, and the power vacum: Can Leni take over for Lori.. should she? Should Luna or Luaan try instead. Do they even want to? it’s all good questions. It’s a simple but small change that helps change up the show for the better, opens up new avenues while not salting the earth for the old as demonstrated by half of the upcoming episdoes for the next two weeks being ones that could’ve been done at any point in the show.

So yeah my hype was at maxium, helped by the fact I love one hour specials of shows: “Change Your Mind” “Reign Storm”, all three ducktales have done so far with “Let’s Get Dangeorus” likely adding to that list.. it’s usually a great time for shows to go all out, show waht they got and tell deeper stories. So the big question all this has been leading up to: what did loud house, 5 seasons in,k with a clean slate and tone sof potetial do with their premiere? Well let’s take a look shall we? This episode is divided into 4 plots, one of which is really a plot inside a plot but still technically 4, all centered around school starting: Lincoln and Co have their first day of middle school, Lori is moving to college after all that setup, and Lily is finally old enough for daycare. And Lynn Sr is having a slow motion breakdown at first, he gets out of it quickly, because understandably he’s feeling mealcholy about not only having all his kids in school but having his first leave him. Sure he still has a full hosue but it’s still rough having one of the few constants in your life , a chaotic life at that go. So each one focuses on one of them. THe fourht if your curious has Leni accidently end up in Lily’s pre school and is comedy gold. More on that in a minute. This is actually one of the episodes problems as only Lincoln’s plot and Lori’s plot feel like they naturally dovetail, while Lily’s plot feels like an eleven minute episode that was bootstrapped to this one either to get her into daycare faster or to pad it out to an hour along with parts of the Lincoln plot. It’s till not a BAD episode, but it dosen’t feel quite as cohesive as it should, or as big in scope being an hour long, with most of the loud kids outside the four with plots not getting more than a cameo, though Lisa gets to be the best part of LIly’s plot, and Lynn.. we’ll get to her. It’s not great. I do GET why they did this, as trying to focus on ALL of them at once is nigh impossible and it let the stories breathe better, but it still feels weird that none of them have a reaction to lori being gone and frankly I think the stronger story would be to have had lily potty train LAST season, and then focus this on Lori leaving, the family adjusting, and have Lincoln’s middle school woes be the b plot. Now granted we have a full season to rumninate on her absence, and how it effects the others, so it’s not the hugest lost, but i feels like a waste of the extra time to just pile three episodes into one when a half hour could’ve done the same and saved you two half hours for later. It’s not terrible, but it could’ve been better. Now i’m done moping about the special as a whole for a second let’s break down each plot one at a time.

The A-Plot: Lincoln Took off to Canada the Other Dayyyyyyyyy The plot is very simple and the adds and summary sadly telegraphed it.. which didn’t help because it’s very clear from the episode Lincoln getting sent to canada is a wacky twist and not supposed to be in the adds. I mean I can’t blame them it’s in half the episode, but it still would’ve been funnier if they kept it as a suprise. And yes if you didn’t know about this episode LIncoln gets sent to canada which is somehow not too weird for the show. So Lincoln and Co are starting high school. And now’s as good a review as any to TALK about Lincoln’s supporting cast. I did a bit during my review of Brave the Last Dance but feel it’s a good time to talk about them again update opinons and what not. I do feel like they sometimes blend into each other a bit much and shine best when one of them is given the spotlight to play off the others instead of all playing a supporitng role. It’s why I like “Pasture Bedtime” and “brave the last dance” so much: They let the characters breathe while still giving one some extra focus. As for each indivdiually.

Clyde as I said there i’ve come around on: Early on how tolerable he was was a coin flip: he could be an adorable, somewhat awkard, sheltered kid but one eager to help his friend with his various schemes, as he is now only with a love of baking which is even better. But he could ALSO be a creepy little bugger who either had a freaking anime nose bleed and fainted when Lori was around, or tried to break her and Bobby up, Bobby who is not only the nicest character on BOTH shows in general but was extra nice to Clyde despite all this. Granted I think my boy was too dense to realize Clyde was being a one man asshole parade, but still. It dosen’t help that with Savino’s later ousting for doing the same shit but as a grown ass man. Thankfully he has done a complete recovery and the Lori bit was thankfully dropped and with Bobby gone, he couldn’t hurt my baby boy anymore, so they moved on to other parts of him. Plus I love his dad’s not just for the obvious being gay dads but for being good characters in their own right.

Stella is easily my favorite of the group, i’ve gone on about her before and Haley Tju does a wonderful job with her, and she feels a bit more three dimensional than the rest of the non-clyde members of the group. Not fully, but still a bit more than the one trait they get and hopefully like our next one up and clyde, she actually gets to start showing up outside of lincoln’s friend squad team episodes.

Liam is easily my second faviorite. I”m aware he’s not the most complex boy: He’s a farmer, and he knows how to tame animals.. that’s about what he’s used for.. but he’s a sweet enoguh kid he makes it work. And frankly said trait works for him because shockingly, out of all of lincoln’s non clyde friends he’s shown up the MOST in stories not involving Lincoln, and even in one of those lately not involving hte rest of his friends. No really, he popped up in racing hearts in season 3, and Senior Moment and Snoops On Last season. It’s not a TON of episodes overall but compared to the rest of them it’s very noticable and I love it. More please.

Moving on to the ones i’ve bitched about... Zach. Yeah.. my thoughts can best be summed up as this.

I mean.. Lincoln’s friends, even the more cheerful ones are capable of feeling defeat and pesimsim, if you want one to downtalk people you have rusty, and “has a tatoo , likes antqiues and belives in cryptids” aren’t really great quirks. If they did more with them or used them OUTSIDE of his episodes sure, but otherwise .. why is he here other than not wanting to explain his absence? Sure he plays off rusty.. but Stella could easily do his role as that and even then they don’t use him for that enough to really justify being him around. Either have a point with him or quitely write him out.. Star Vs, for all it’s flaws, leanred this as far back as season 2 with alphonso and ferguson, AND when people qutestioned where they are actually brought them back to properly write them off and gave them closure in the episode they gave the rest of the echo creek cast the same. Just pick one. And if you want him to knock rusty down a peg fine, just do so. And now Rusty.. my old nemisis.... and things have changed. Do I still LIKE Rusty? nope. Just.. nope. I don’t. He’s still a skeezy little idiot.. but I realized that unlike LIam he at least has a purpose in the group: He’s the Micheal Kelso. Granted UNLIKE kelso, they don’t go the extra mile and have his friends poke fun at him, but this isn’t that kind of friendship, and with Lynn now around more and Chandler now likely going to be the same, there’s more opprotunites for someone outside the group to rightfully insult the little moron. And if their not going to.. I realized I could. I realized I ENJOY insulting him, taking the piss out of his unjusitfied ego, and just having fun making fun fo the little goober. And more than that.. I realized he DOES have redeeming qualities. He’s a genuinely good friend, he loves his friends dearly and has no trouble showing affection despite his misplaced swagger. I may mock the kid, and I will again.. but he’s not a bad person and will likely grow out of being a dipweasel, just not on screen. I realized having a deep abiding hatred of him just wasn’t good for me when simply mocking him constantly does the trick. There are other, more important things to get pissed about. Rusty isn’t that important. But he is good joke fodder and unlike the show with Zach I refuse to pass up an opportunity.

But yeah now that’s out of the way, the basic setup here infuraties me. It’s for mildly stupid reasons, but ones i’m going to go to bat for: Lincoln dosen’t get into the same class as his friends. As in their still treating this like elementary school and having everyone in the same class for every subject. That.. that’s not how middle school works. that’s not how any of this works. They don’t lump groups of the same kids into one tract of classes, even electives like cooking or forced ones like PE, which thanks to my autisim I was allowed to attend a diffrent kind of PE that wasn’t an utter fucking nightmare. And you may say “Well Jake your a near 30 blobby shell of a man and things change” which is accurate but they haven’t changed that much. Girl Meets World was only 6 years ago. And while they DID have Cory as the only real teacher they USED, he was still shown to be their history teacher and it was lampshaded sometimes how he wasn’t their only class. And yes I know a lot can change in 6 years, the hellscape we’re in proves that, but just simply ASKING my middle schooler nephew if this is still how that works.. and yup it is. Now it could be diffrent by region, but for the most part the conseus seems to be on diffrent teachers for diffrent subjects. And again as Girl Meets World shows, it’s not THAT complicated. Just have one teacher you use for everything or have a home room. Why do this, why. Just why exactly. Why. You barely used actually in school classes for plots anyway and mostly did stuff around the edges like crushes or lunch or dodge ball. Speaking of which where is Girl Jordan. Where IS she? Anyways, my point is this, especailly as a ned’s declassified school surivvial guide on this very network,f fan really annoys me and takes me out of things.. And the thing is they COULD’VE still done this plot just had the gang all adjust, not just lincoln, to not being in the same class togehter. Have them have to do various classes WITHOUT having each other to rely on. You could even have chandler and mr. bohlmer show up. But the way they do this just..d osen’t really make sense and just feels lazy. And if there were good jokes i’d be fine with his but their aren’t. IT’s just a mean teacher and Lincoln being picked on by a moron for the first half while his friends struggle to function without him. It’s just sad and not in the well written, well thought out way. Then we get to “This needs to be an hour” portion of the plot as again the above could’ve EASILY worked for the full hour but because they instead went with this, they had to think of something else... and went with something bonkers that at the very least is entertaining: Lincoln, after convincing his teacher for a transfer, which I did like as he uses his head: He sees his teacher wants something diffrent for lunch and paper airplaners her a cupon for his dad’s restraunt then talks himself into an off campus lunch to talk her into a new class.. and winds up transfered to canada as she well meaningly did so he can’t get out of. And while I thought this was just wacky exageration having him commute.. turns out .. nope. While I don’t know if any school would actually have a student commute to Canada rather than jsut stay there turns out Royal Woods is in michigan and Michigan is across a lake from Ontario.. so yeah.. they did their geography research but not their middle school one. Weird ain’t it? Anywho, I ended up liking this portion... and not just because it has canada gooses, which means i can use this.

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And if you have a problem with Letterkenny you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. But yeah we get an ENTIRE number playing into canadian stereotypes and it’s clear this show is rather than using them for a cheap laugh just exagerating things for fun and a slight nudge to canadians, who I clearly love. It feels less like “oh ha ha canada” and more like if the great white north was stretched over 15 minutes but still worked.

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It’s just good fun. And they also again have an entire musical number full of canadian sterotypes and expressing love of this great country which I hope to visit some day.. and possibly live if this country countinues to get worse. It just feels nice and more creative than the first half. It’s still not FANTASTIC, but it works somehow and Ic an’t explain why. Eventually LIncoln tries to get kicked out, fails then plans to blow the hockey game for everyone and calls on his friends to help, sending them all to canada wh ere they get lost in the wilderness. There is a funny bit where Stella’s gps literally freezes over and zach acidently smashes it as well as Rusty’s “Moustache” one pathetic hair because why should his moustache be anything else freezes off. and given even with me being less vitrolic his suffering is my catnip I enjoyed it. We also get a cute sequence of them runing the ice and rusty failing at anything because of course he does, while Liam both tames a moose and slathers them in grease to swim across because of COURSE he does. Of course he does. IT’s just a refreshing jolt of energy after the first half. But we do get a really damn good scene after htey fail.. besides the fact Rusty’s head is frozen, which would be funny even if it wasnt’ happenign to rusty, that just makes it go from chuckle worthy to giant uncomfortable laugh worthy, where Lincoln gives up: They’ll still be firends and he’ll still come visit but it’s best he just adapt to his new life instead of try and fight so hard against it and he’s starting to enjoy canada. It’s a well acted and sad scene that ends with a huge hug from clyde and another bit we’ll get to in a second. But because having LIncoln in canada would be hard to maintain for a few seasons, and because as degrassi shows me the odds of him getting nearly beaten to death, caught in school shooting, stabbed in a parking lot or ending up in a kevin smith film which back then was a treat but now is a coin flip, are very high. Seriously he dosen’t want to end up in moose jaws, he instead gets banned from canada for three years for refusing maple syurp... which is also fucking hilarious just for it’s sheer rediculousness. Who dosen’t love canadian maple syrup? So the ballance is restored, Liam has moose now, and Lincoln actually gets the trailer heat turned down because he asked.. this plot was not very good as I made clear and drags the specail down and it’s in part because there were other joke and character opprotunites iwth ACTUAL middle school and instead it just comes off as another episode of “Smack lincoln around because tha’ts funny right” and wastes good opprotunity. It’s not all terrible, the canada jokes worked becuase they felt like they were in good fun and more a loving jab at canada instead of just using stereotypes for sterotypes sake, and given the loud sisters started as basic character achtypes it fits the shows tone. So canada part good the rest a huge disapointment. Also before we move onto Lori: Lynn.. was utterly terrible this episode. The girl one, obviously. Lynn Sr is usually a delight. Yeahhh while I don’t hate her like some do, I do find her to be REALLY hit and miss: she’s either an enjoyable additon to the episode, an intresting lead.. or an obnoxious nightmare who makes everyone around her suffer and is used for gross out gags.. which if nothing else it’s good their using a girl for it but it dosen’t make it actually funny? And here she’s Hall Monitor and a giant terror to everyone INCLUDING THE PRINCIPAL and it feels like a waste.. other episodes have had her be lincoln’s mentor when it comes to his shift to middle school and when the time comes where that would be utterly useful... she’s instead just a jackass because they coudln’t think of something better to do with her and it’s another disapointment. The B-Plot: Lori Loud and the Infinite Comic Set Pieces This plot was better but likely would’ve worked better in a shorter episode to me if i’m being honest, but it’s grown on me the more i’ve thought about it.. plus it has Bobby!

I haven’t really had a chance to mention it since most Loud Houses i’ve covered are after his exit and he only really shows up in lori episodes and I haven’t covered the Casagrandes yet.. but I love this idiot. He’s sweet, charming, kind, a good boyfriend, a good big brother, and a caring individual. Sure he’s dumb as a box of hammers, but he’s a good kid and post season 1 he and lori have good chemstiry. And he was easily one of hte biggest draws to the spinoff for me which has fleshed him out nicely with his work at the Mercado, showing he is good at something. He’s just a great character and i’m glad to see him back on the mothership, even if he doesn’t do much and at most just keeps coming back to help Lori move at a moment’s notice. But it feels less like her being selfish and more like him being selfless: Sure she’s asking a lot.. but he probably gets that moving away from home and into a strage place is hard for his lady and just wants to help her be happy and settle in. Because he’s the best.

As for why Lori keeps moving part of it is the fact that the dorms at fair way are insane comic set pieces and I am here for it. She starts out at the silent dorm, which just.. no. No on that no. Then moves to the driving range dorm which is exactly what it sounds like and is a hilarious hurricane of balls. “Sigh” Archer if you would.

And the sand trap dorm, which just has a giant bunch of sand in the closets for some reeason.. presumibly to keep darth vader away. And yes I get it’s supposed to mimic a sandtrap but theni t should be all around like the other dorms. It’s goofy, it’s dumb.. and I can’t help but laugh at it and the fact that Fairway apparently is so intense about golf they train students via having them live on certain hazards like this was an anime... and I would totally watch a spinoff about lori that was her undergoing anime golf battles. And I hate golf. Plus put bobby in there.. he can be on two shows. Make it a diffrent world but with dragon ball z golf battles. But eventually Lori comes crying home after breaking down, like any college student living away i’m told.. and that’s where the dovetail I mention comes into play. Lori overhears lincoln’s pep talk and decides to go back and face the exesntial nightmare that is her dorm life, giving her brother a sincre hug and thanking him for uknowingly helping her. It’s a really sweet moment. It’s why her plot works for me.. it has the emotinal weight that feels lacking from the main plot. It’s a bit repetitive, but frankly that’s the show’s bread and butter at this point and i’ts more a case of which repettition works better sometimes. That one moment saves the plot form being unwatchable and Lori moves into the water hazard floor of the dorms, and is finally ready. And while at first I thought the exagerated dorms lowered the punch of things.. it really dosen’t. From what i’ve heard Dorm life isn’t easy, and being away from home is even harder. My mentally anxious self would’ve broken down within days. Their just taking it up twenty notches because loud house. The real issue is lori being homesick, which I do feel could’ve been handled better, but for what hit is it’s okay. Not as good as it couldv’e been but still better than the a-plot. But it’s a nice bit of character stuff: it shows usually in control Lori out of her element and trying to adapt and hopefully we’ll see more of her this season in that context. And more of bobby, may he reign forever. Okay one more.

The C and D plots: Leni and Lily Go to Preschool This one won’t take long, thank god. Lily goes to preschool, the loud parents, after some empty nest.. enjoy having the house to themselves for the first time in years. They actually have TIME with no kids and just the two of them to goof off and, presumibly off screen, boink like rabbits.. granted that’s how they clearly usually do it given they have 11 kids but still. But Lily gets sent home for popping herself, and they have to teach her to go it’s eh aside from a few bits. As I said Lisa is the best part of this as Lynn Sr and Rita yank her out of school, with Lisa responding to Cheryls worries abotu her missing school with a dry “I think i’ll be fine without finger painting”. The resolution, or at least the start of it, is genuinelly clever. Turns out Lily KNOWS how to use the potty, she just dosen’t want to go to school yet, and the Loud Parents.. actually take this well, confronting her with it but gently, understanding she may not want to leave the nest and letting her stay.

Meanwhile Leni ends up in preschool in the shuffle of not having Lori around to guide her one brain cell. Which is honestly hilarious and her outfit for the episode is fucking dope.. I honestly wish she’d wear her hair in a ponytail more often and the jacket is nice. I wish this was her new outfit.. like they could make it green so she’s not stepping on Lola wearing pink, but it’s a nice change of pace. But yeah it’s hilarious, especially since neither she nor the actual professionals notice and it has a nice bit of subtext on tumblr noted: She may be regressing, or simply enjoying little girl school because she misses her big sister and it’s easier than navigating a scary world without her best frined. To dig into it a bit myself we’ve seen in previous episodes that Lori is her rock, who she goes to when she has a problem in her solo episodes, who she relies on. Sure they fight over a closet but they depend on each other. We saw how worried Leni was about loosing her last season, and now she’s lost her and dosen’t know what to do without her. It’ll be intresting to see more of. Or it’s because while she’s a capable young woman she’s also as dumb as a box of hammers like her future brother in law> you make the call. Eventually Leni gets sent back, and bemoans missing all the fun of preschool.. which gets Lily to go as she gets a trampoline, and the nest is finally empty.. also Leni goes back for a few more bounces. Yeah I love this kid. She’s sweet, kind, and hilariously moranic and voiced by LIliana Mumy who along with Carols is easliy part of my stable of voice actors. So yeah the family’s moving on, etc etc, and this review is finally over. Final Thoughts: This episode was okay. It reaks of wasted potetial, but it’s a fine enough one hour, it jsut couldv’e been MORE with such a long run time and the lily and leni bits would’ve fit better in a seperate episode. It’s not TERRIBLE but it’s just an okay start to the season and a waste of good stories and good laughs in places. Still the show’s had worse, it’s just okay overall. Not TERRIBLE but it could’ve been FANTASTIC. Next week Leni deals with the lori power vaccum and Lincoln and Clyde snoop on the neighbors. Until then you can find other loud house reviews on my blog, hit me up iwth an ask for suggetsions or a dm to comission an episode you want to see me cover and until then, GO TEAM VENTURE. Play us out servo

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ramblinganthropologist · 3 years

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N7 Challenge 26 - Purple

Summary: Well... someone was going to catch him eventually. But did it have to be Garrus?

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Man... he was getting way too good at this whole undercover cross-dressing thing.

Alistair carefully – dare he say it, daintily – stepped over the unconscious man he had just knocked out. His armor said he was Blood Pack, his head said he probably had a concussion. That tended to happen when a biotic whipped something at you, but hey. What did he know?

The other person left was also human, and looking at him as though he was a living nightmare. That was fine by him. It made interrogation easier. So with a spring in his step, he directed himself over to where they were staying.

Naturally, they tried to shoot him but that's what biotics were for.

“That was a little rude. All I wanted to know was where your hideout is.”

They spat blood before they spoke. “Fuck off, I saw what you did to Ban over there. I ain't telling you-”

And then they stopped talking, eyes wide. Alistair cocked an eyebrow, but then he heard the footsteps. They were taloned. His blood ran cold as he prepared his barrier, but no shot came. Instead, he hear the aiming of a gun.

The red dot appeared on the other man's forehead.

“Now, is that a nice way to treat someone? All we want is some information.”

A smooth, translated voice sent a shiver down Alistair's spine for all the wrong reasons as sweat began to trickle down his neck. He immediately began to curse his luck as he resisted the urge to look over his shoulder. He was supposed to be working as though they worked together.

Instead of the reality that Garrus had shown up on his own.

The conscious Blood Pack merc was sweating now as he backed up further against the wall, eyes wide as dinner plates. “Shit, it's Archangel! I thought you died!”

Oh, so he had been on Omega. Must have been one of the lucky ones who wasn't put in the charge against the bridge or the chaos that followed.

“I'm tough like that. “Garrus approached, still aiming. At least he didn't say anything to his partner as he did. “So... information?”

There was a brief tremble, and then... “We're in an abandoned warehouse two blocks from here. You're gonna get killed if you try to start shit, we're-”

And then he was out cold thanks to a fist to the head. Garrus pulled back, looking less than amused. Then he holstered his gun and started tapping into his omni-tool. No doubt he was putting in the same call Alistair was – come pick these assholes up.

Would've been a normal mission except he was wearing a dress and petticoat.

“We should head over t-” Garrus finally gave him the once-over. Had he had eyebrows, they would've been in the stratosphere. “Uh... maybe we should do that after you get changed into something more appropriate for a fire fight.”

No shit.

Alistair felt his cheeks color as he started walking. “I was undercover.”

“I figured from the fact you're wearing something that looks like it came from the 19th century.”

His face got even redder, but the Spectre kept walking. This time, he had thought ahead and found a place to change without going back to the Normandy. It saved him time, and he didn't have to worry about messing up the dress by going in to a fight. After all, he eventually needed to return the thing... eventually.

He still hadn't gotten around to that.

“It's called lolita, and it's more the 20th and 21st.”

Garrus didn't exactly look convinced as they walked. “Right. And you're wearing it because...”

Alistair kept his head high. “It's an effective disguise. Nobody is going to believe somebody dressed like this is going to have a gun in their bag. Besides, it makes it easier to get information out of these guys when they think they're going to get me into bed.”

Which they weren't. He was gay, yes, but he had fucking standards thank you very much.

“Wouldn't think many guys would really be into this look, but I guess I don't really understand humans.”

The turian clearly wasn't a fan. It shouldn't have bothered Alistair – he wasn't exactly a fan either, after all most of the time he did this under someone else's needs – but something about it still rubbed him the wrong way as they walked through the quiet streets.

Like... people liked this style. They were helping him get info, he practically had to defend them for their valuable aid.

“It has its followers. Truth be told, I'll be happy when I can get back into my regular clothes.”

Garrus nodded as they approached the building Alistair had rented a room in for changing. Unsurprisingly, the clerk gave no fucks as a human and turian combo made their way through. Then it was up the stairs, second door on the right.

The turian took the bed as he started to get changed. “I'm not even sure how you can walk in those shoes.”

“They're a lot better than heels, actually.” When the turian gave him a look, he rolled his eyes and added, “It's a long story, it involves high school and before I came out.”

Garrus at least had the sense to look embarrassed at his assumption. “I didn't... ok, fair. Sometimes I forget you didn't just pop out of the ground as Commander Shepard.”

Him and the Alliance both. It was a blessing some days.

Anyway, he had clothing to change out of. Soon both the shoes, socks, and his wig were off. Then it was the process of getting out of the dress and petticoat, both which proved daunting. He grumbled as he tried to reach for a button behind his back... it wasn't working.

Fuck.

“You alright there, Shepard?”

Alistair sighed as he shook his head. “I can't reach the damn button. Bo was the one who fixed it before I went out.”

Much to his surprise, the turian stood. Soon his talons were carefully picking the button apart and releasing him from his fabric prison. He was finally able to get out of the rest of his disguise which... left him in his underwear.

In front of a very hot turian.

He uh... didn't think this one through.

“Huh. So you really do have N7 tattooed there.”

The Spectre did his best to keep his tone even as he hid said tattoo with the waistband of his pants. “It was Bo's idea.”

“I have no doubt about that.” Garrus went back to sitting on the bed, looking for the most part awkward as fuck when Alistair glanced him in the mirror. That was probably due to the fact he was suited up and packed for a firefight. In a small room like that,it stuck out. “Anyway... what's with the dress anyway? Doesn't seem like something you'd buy on your own. Did Shepard get it for you?”

No... if Bo had bought it, it probably would've been pink. Pink wasn't really his color, what with him being a ginger and all. Well, some people could pull it off – he couldn't. He did better in darker cool tones.

Not that he had been dress shopping. Not exactly much time or interest there.

“No, it was a friend of hers. I originally got it to help them out. They were being harassed.” He pulled his shirt down, and then slid into his boots. After that, it was time to get back into his armor. This he started into with a practiced hand, almost on muscle memory.

He could probably do it with his eyes closed.

“And you kept it because...”

Alistair shrugged as he belted on his gauntlets. “She needed my help busting a red sand ring on the Citadel.”

Garrus sounded impressed the next time he spoke. “That was you? I heard about it from someone in C-SEC, but they hadn't mentioned their contact was someone in a frilly green dress.”

Guess they left that part out. Seemed like a C-SEC thing to do.

The Spectre finished putting his armor on after a few more seconds of work. Then he reached into his borrowed purse to retrieve his gun. The look on the turian's face was priceless as he holstered it at his side again.

It got even better when he grabbed the rest of his gear.

“You know, now I understand why women carry purses.”

That made Alistair chuckle as he switched out the band on his omni-tool to his heavy duty one that added a little extra wrist protection. “Honestly, same. I'm almost going to miss it, but at least I have my cargo pants.”

“But they hide your...”

Garrus had mostly been muttering under his breath at that point. Still, he had been close enough that it had been easy to pick up. Alistair was left pretty much mute, staring at the turian with wide eyes as he tried to figure out what he meant.

If he hadn't known better... well... no, he definitely knew better. He must have been tired or something.

“Huh?”

The turian's mandibles twitched as he got up from the bed. “Nothing. Anyway, if you're going to keep doing this maybe you should return this dress and get your own.”

Now that made the Spectre laugh as they left the room behind. “Got any suggestions for me, Mr. Fashion Master? I'll let Bo know next time we're out and I just have to get a new coord.”

Shit, he was picking up the lingo. It was getting serious now.

Garrus didn't answer him immediately. Instead, it was pretty quiet as they exited back onto the street to follow up on their information. Alistair was starting to feel the familiar buzz under his skin as his biotics built up. He had been needing a release.

“I don't know, purple maybe?”

The turian's tone sounded not too sure. Regardless, it still stopped the Spectre in his tracks. He almost broke his neck whipping it around to get an eyeful of his mission partner. No doubt if Garrus could have blushed, he would have been doing it. His body language was embarrassment x 100.

“Huh?”

“Purple... might work. Or dark blue. Green wasn't really your color. And maybe not so... much.” He made a vague hand gesture. “You know?”

He was not having this conversation.

“Yeah, I guess OTT isn't my thing...” he shook his head. “Can we just go do the thing we're good at? This is a conversation neither of us probably want to have.”

Given how much Garrus relaxed at his words, it was the right decision. At least now both could relax as they headed into a potential brawl with a bunch of mercs that had no idea what was about to come after them. Talk about stress relief.

But damn if he wasn't going to be kicking himself about this later. Maybe knocking a few heads around would help.

#n7month #ramblinganthropologist's writing #Alistair Shepard #Garrus Vakarian

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orderofindomitus · 5 years

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Bonding on Netflix

Bonding is a show on Netflix which tells the tale of a young dominatrix in NYC and her gay best friend Pete from high school who she hires as her bodyguard and assistant. It’s a quirky story and full of nicely done humor and visually appealing scenery. I was late to watch it and review it, but I saw an enormously negative reaction to it from my dominatrix peers.

With an evening free, and the episodes being under 16 minutes, I decided to binge watch this and see what I thought. Who better to watch and review a show based on a New York City dominatrix/college student, than a Mistress who recently was a full-time New York City dominatrix/college student (and still visits and works there)? I definitely kept it in mind that it was a show and most likely not going to be extremely accurate. After watching it, I came to the conclusion that they did have a right to be a little upset over a few moments, but I noticed that much of their criticism came from aspects of the show that they completely misunderstood. Spoilers ahead!

Tiff is a young college student, (probably in the 20-23yr old range) just like I was in 2007 when I was working at a commercial dungeon in midtown Manhattan, going to college only two blocks away. She moonlights as Mistress May and she (like myself in 2007) works at what we call a “commercial dungeon” which is a dungeon that has a staff of women that a manager or dungeon owner hires and book sessions for. At least, that is what it seems like. The show makes that unclear. I’ll explain later.

In the first few sentences that she ever utters, she says “No, I am a Domme, not a prostitute. NOT that there’s anything wrong with that” in response to her best friend Pete asking her if she has sex with her clients. This was very touching to hear for myself and I hope for other people, for two reasons. The first reason is that almost all of us (save for a few) in the United States do not have sex with our clients or do anything directly intimately sexual in nature with them (things you would hire an escort for). Unfortunately, we are often misunderstood and always lumped in the same categories as escorts when it comes to how society and law enforcement sometimes sees us. We often face the same social stigmas, and same injustices that escorts operating illegally (even sadly, legally) face. So her saying this, shows that our job is a bit different, to millions of viewers who watch the show. She also says “I’m a sex worker.” This is also important because we ARE sex workers of some form.

Asking us if we have sex with our clients is the first thing that every single one of our friends and family members ask us, because that is how little of this industry people know of. I cannot tell you how many men out there are caught seeing a pro Mistress by their wives and their wives truly believe he’s having sex with this Mistress and will not believe otherwise because she has no idea what we really do. We do not see anything wrong with women who have sex for money, it just does make things difficult for us when we are associated as operating as such, in terms of keeping ourselves legally safe, and like I said before, it would be nice for the world to be more informed on what it is that we actually do.

The second reason why I loved this line is because of the part where she says “NOT that there’s anything wrong with that.” We all truly feel that prostitution needs to be decriminalized nation-wide. Too many people associate escorts with being dirty drugged up people who who disgusting and immoral acts and are less than human and do not deserve fair treatment or protection from harm, rather that we should do away with it all entirely. This is a completely false stereotype and one which causes harm and abuse. Escorts are targets of rape, harassment, assault, even murder. They are also of course, targets of underground sex trafficking. We need to change how society views these women in order to change the wrongful stigmas attached to them and keep them from being harmed. I don’t want to turn this blog post into a different topic entirely, which I easily can right now but I will stop here and get back to the show. So thank you Netflix for this line, as short as it was. It made my heart happy.

Moving on...

This is where the show differs between real professional BDSM in NYC and fiction. At the end of the show, she goes on an outcall with someone who said that they called her dungeon to book her and the dungeon phone operator assisted him in this booking. This is how a commercial dungeon operates, a client calls and speaks to someone who books appointments, the phone person sets up the appointment. This alludes to the fact that she works at a commercial dungeon space. Many years ago, I was working at one of the only dungeons at the time that did outcalls, so I have a good understanding of this. However, they would have never done that with a client that they didn’t already know extremely well or had perfect references, and not for any promised amount of money from the client. This situation would have never happened. Only a young Mistress who was trying to work for herself and not for a dungeon, and was very naive would have done something so dangerous and stupid. The only thing right about this situation was that she had security with her, (her friend). I went on outcalls ONLY with a security person who had access to where I was, and again, only clients who were extremely well-vetted.

Her hiring her friend in the first place was a complete mystery too. A commercial dungeon also provides a body guard, or simply the safety of a group of staff watching over you, as seen in episode 1, where her dungeon did have an actual body guard throwing out a client who did something inappropriate and put his hands on a Mistress. So if the dungeon had a body-guard, and a staff, why did she need to hire one? Giving her body guard bestie 20% of her earnings after a commercial dungeon takes 60-70% on average of your earnings already, would have been crushing to her income to say the least. She didn’t work at my dungeon because no one ever had a gay best friend body guard, so that meant she worked at one where she made $70 per hour a session. Why would she hire a body guard and give him 20% of that?

She could have been an independent dominatrix, who worked for herself and simply rented space at the dungeon, and she liked having an assistant to help her clean up and so on. However, based on her very young age, basic BDSM knowledge, her saying to a client that he could leave the money with the front desk, and the man in the final episode hiring her through the dungeon for an outcall, this doesn’t seem likely. Independent dominatrices tend to be much more experienced, knowledgable, and definitely have more than 1 or 2 outfits, which is all we see her in, in the whole show. Speaking of those 1 or 2 outfits, she also seems to only own 1 pair of boots which she also wears through the entire show for every single appointment. This screams “brand new Mistress” to everyone in my industry, because most brand new women just do not have much for wardrobe yet. They don’t have the funds yet to buy a bigger variety of outfits which they slowly obtain as the months go on.

Moving along.

Tiff has her assistant best friend who is now going by his alternate name “Carter” inside the actual room in all of her sessions. While this would have been ok every once in a blue moon for a submissive who enjoyed being humiliated like her client Fred, as Fred did not mind if it was done by a male friend (and it if anything, enhanced the humiliation which Fred craved), this wouldn’t fly for most other appointments. People are shy, nervous and the last thing they want is another male in the room in 95% of cases.

I have had a male sub of mine piss on another sub of mine, and it was the very first time that he was doing it, so I really identified with the scene where Carter pissed on Fred for the first time. The funny clear raincoats for this scene were definitely the idea of NETFLIX to bring visual humor to the show, and not something we would actually put on. I thought it was cute and I appreciated the humor in it.

Tiff says in the show that she has had a sad past where men had looked to use her for sex. She was not physically or psychologically abused, she simply was stating that she went through something that most young women go through in high school, young horny men dating you to just to experience having sex with you. I don’t know a woman who hasn’t had this happen, and sometimes it can be quite upsetting, however that is when, as a young woman, you learn from this, and put up boundaries moving forwards in your life. Due to her past, she has her guard up and is more aware of how men talk to her as seen with the boy in her college class who is pursuing her (JUST LIKE EVERY SINGLE WOMAN TO SOME DEGREE?). I see this as a representation of her growing from her past and being wiser about other people. The BDSM community and some of my peers felt that it showed a damaged and abused woman who became a dominatrix, and publicly stated such, (which is often a wrong stigma and stereotype associated with our industry) but they truly didn’t get this right. Where was she abused? In your early 20′s, you are still haunted by the things that happened to you over the past several years, and sometimes still depressed over them as you are trying to grow up and figure yourself out and figure out how to move past what are probably the first several horrible things that happen to you in your life up until that point. I saw in Tiff, a woman who was very young and still a bit sad over those negative events, but who was getting over that and becoming wiser for it as she took charge of her life and was developing into a mature young adult. She was WAY wiser than the other young woman in her class who was basically just accepting the sexual coming-on from the college professor, and Tiff used her intelligence and strength to stick up for her.

Tiff also mentions in her class to her psychology professor, that role-play can be healthy and therapeutic. You could see her struggling on the inside with how awful he ran the class and how little he understood compared to how much she did in her young age. This is common among people in the BDSM lifestyle. We rarely have therapists who can assist us with life’s troubles when it comes to discussing kink aspects, because there is no education out there that they are taught about alternative lifestyles. BDSM and fetish has for years, been misdiagnosed in text books as a sickness, and sadly, was only recently changed. We all felt her pain, I am sure, as she struggled through being in this class.

Her client Fred, tells Pete who is now going by “Carter” that he tells his friends about what he does at dungeons with Mistresses. Pete seemed shocked by this, but Fred says “Why not? There’s nothing wrong with what I do” or something along those lines. This is not only something that people really do (telling their friends about this secret), but something that is becoming more popular and accepted. A couple I see told all of their friends that they have their Dominatrix (me) in their phone along with all of the other important things they need in their life such as their lawyer, their doctor and their gardener. A sub of mine and his partner both go and see Mistresses and talk about it, they’ve even gone together. Fred, despite being portrayed as somewhat goofy and weird, is giving the viewers a line that I feel is very important and that is for people to just have more acceptance, despite what they feel is weird or do not quite understand.

Tiff is a total bitch to Carter a lot of the time and really pressured him to do crazy things in the show, which he was initially very uncomfortable with such as making fun of Fred’s small penis. The BDSM community felt this was an awful representation of a Mistress. However, we are telling the story off Tiff and Pete. Tiff and Pete have history and Tiff and Pete know one another very well. We are not showing every dominatrix in the show treating people like garbage. Pete does stick up for himself eventually and says “you can’t treat me like you did in high school.” I also think that Pete needed to be pushed to do these things. He gets so happy when he rips Fred apart and sees how fun it could be to make fun of his penis, and he was on a roll with it grinning, and when he finally was able to pee on him he was thrilled as well and yelled happily “I’m peeing!” Tiff smiles as if she knew all along that he would enjoy this. This is actually, what professional Mistresses often do, when they know people really well, push them to trying something they are afraid of but that we know they would truly enjoy. At the end of the show, he wants to be her 50/50 partner, and do sessions with her as an equal. So her pushing him, was definitely something I saw that she knew he needed and that he would enjoy this. It also got him out of his rut with stand-up comedy and made him more fearless and happy, while also greatly inspiring his actual stand-up material. He was able to be brave with Tiff while dominating men along side of her and trying things he was afraid of, which helped him in other aspects of his life. THIS IS WHAT BDSM OFTEN DOES FOR PEOPLE.

What I didn’t like and do agree with everyone on, is that every client of hers was shown mostly negatively. Fred, while nice, is shown as goofy and weird. The first episode shows this giant groaning animalistic-man with no explanation of what is going on. The slave who comes by and cleans for her is in love with her and very rudely invades her date, not respecting her boundaries. A man who wrestles Pete in a session while dressed as a Penguin is a total jerk. The last client is a psychopath who tries to hurt her. The husband of the couple she sees gets punched in the face by his wife in order for him to be tickled, and both of them don’t seem to be very happy or healthy in their relationship with one another in that sense. While it was a very short show and you cannot show everything, I felt it still would have been better to mix in more positivity and people who don’t seem so flawed and messed up. It paints the picture that all of our clients are going to be totally nuts. This is not the case. Yes, we do get some crazy people but so does every job. That is not what goes down all of the time.

Tiff presents to the college psych class, her dominatrix self and explains what she does for a living and while we do not see it, we are assuming that she gets a chance to tell them how healthy engaging in role-play and BDSM is, something her jerk professor told her the opposite of several episodes ago. I also did this exact same presentation in my human sexuality class, and like her, I had every person in the class interested, delighted, and wanting to know more. I enjoyed this because it showed that people are more interested than we realize, more kinky than we realize and we should not have as much wrongful stigmas and shame associated with something that is actually very healthy and healing.

Other inaccurate things to add while they just came to me: No one wears dominatrix attire walking outside to the door of the person you are seeing at their home or hotel. You always change when you get there. This would bring unwanted attention and mortify your client. They would probably send you away and never see you again. She has a talk with Carter at her home where she ties up his hands. She doesn’t actually do a bondage tie. She could have learned an easy bondage wrist to wrist tie (a column tie) in about 5 minutes and easily done that on camera while acting as there’s just not much thinking to it once you know what to do. There are a few other instances, that I am sure that I am not thinking of off of the top of my head. No one working at a commercial dungeon would have been in their own pretty big apartment in New York City as that would have been extremely difficult to afford on a young dominatrix salary. Everyone of us had at least one room mate. If she did manage to afford it, she likely had financial assistance from her parents while going to school.

Accurate things about the show. She is a young lady trying to figure herself out, as are most women are at her age, and are most young commercial dungeon Mistresses. A staff of people at a dungeon would love to be an audience to a friend’s practice stand-up routine. We often hung out with friends of staff and happily assisted them with projects if we had the time. We are all, after all, human beings and nice people. Commercial dungeons often have clients who do not respect boundaries and will wrongfully put their hands on Mistresses where they do not belong. We were often kicking out said rude men, just like in the first 30 seconds of the show. Commercial dungeons also do often entertain a vast range of fetishes and role-plays. Penguin suit wrestling isn’t far-fetched or hard to believe.

The inaccuracies make me wonder if this entire story on Netflix was just made up and only influenced by the creator having a dominatrix best friend who he sometimes hung around, or if it was mostly real somehow. Regardless, these aspects irked my colleagues due to the fact that we are just always misrepresented in everything we do that has ever appeared on television and in movies. Only the show BILLIONS which actually hired my incredible colleague Mistress Troy Orleans to teach the actor and actress how a real BDSM relationship would go (GREAT JOB TROY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS). Troy had gotten me hired as a consultant and performer for a very large Miami based event for famous photographer Steven Klein for his FETISH exhibit, so that way the photographer didn’t have to be humiliated over having a completely wrong representation of what fetish and domination is and give an authentic show. We all feel that Netflix still could have kept the humor, storyline and quirks that made the show pretty great, but could have been way more accurate by consulting an experienced New York city dominatrix or former experienced New York City dominatrix. There are so many of us, and we would have happily given advice and bondage lessons. I personally have been asked to speak at book signings, given speeches and so on. Many of us have done this. Many people were very upset because Mistress May, the fictional character was given a twitter handle to promote the show, whereas real-life dominatrices are fighting every single day to not get our accounts shut down, shadow-banned because of bad social stigma about what we do. It’s not Mistress May’s fault of course, and I do sympathize with my fellow sex workers on this. In one sense, I am glad that the show came out, because it gave us a chance to voice our opinions over our struggles and hopefully lead to some future changes taking place, as many news articles were using the angry tweets and blog posts of my friends and peers to show the world that we are treated unfairly.

A wrongful fact that I keep seeing all over the internet is people freaking out because apparently she is supposed to be the best dominatrix in NYC but she can’t tie a wrist tie and has 1 pair of boots and 2 outfits. They are taking this out of context. The dungeon manager tells the client booking the outcall that she is “the best in the city.” She’s a commercial dungeon Mistress and probably a fairly good one that they have, being she lives in her own NYC apartment by herself. She might be their top earner. Are there independent Mistresses with 20 years experience who would blow her out of the water? Of course, but he is calling a commercial dungeon and they are selling her for the session, she is THEIR staff. She might be THEIR top Mistress. So you have to realize that this is where the line of reference is coming from.

At the end of the day, I genuinely liked the show. I feel that many aspects about the show were done purposely for storyline and humor. Mistress May not having much of a wardrobe, and her corset not fitting quite right, I believe were to purposely show how young she was, same with her doing something stupid such as being tempted with money to go to the residence of someone for a session who is out to harm her. At least that is how I took it. She’s young and while she is intelligent in some ways, her youth is against her and flaws her/gets her into trouble.

I thought the show was comical, despite not being so accurate, and it definitely nostalgically brought me back to my 20′s and being a NYC dominatrix just a bit. If there is a season 2, I only hope that for the small details, they keep a professional Mistress on hand, as they would earn so much more respect from the (literal) millions of us kinky people out there. I personally could give them a million accurate easy ideas to add based on their storyline which would have been very effective. Other than that, I am happy to see a Season 2 and I believe that people who it angered should re-watch Season 1 later and look at it through fresh eyes.

It definitely makes me wonder if the book I am writing would be worth a show one day?

#bonding netflixbonding mistressmay

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cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog · 5 years

Text

Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT. L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I e a t them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

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demyrie · 5 years

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I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult.

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it.

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life.

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us.

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there.

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too.

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

#just another mission #jam #demyrie writes #personal #abuse #stalking #emotional manipulation #i would say p/edophilia but this site doesnt know what that means and this isnt it either so how about abuse of a minor #recovery #mental health #suicidal ideation #triggers #Anonymous

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declxns · 5 years

Text

u know how it b.........smash that mf like to hmu to plot y’all.

[ brenton thwaites, cismale, he/him, 29 ] BELIEVE by ROMES? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of DECLAN HOLM. maybe because they’re INTUITIVE but also CRITICAL. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since JUNE of 2013 in 211 and have 1 ROOMMATE.

tw: abuse, alcoholism, homophobia

i want to just start by saying...........declan is one of my oldest and most loved muses........he is my son and i pray u like him asdfghj this isn’t his usual fc so im a little shook but......this boi is so pretty so we out here let’s do it lets GO

first things first......declan is ur local 6′5″ hair stylist by day, drag queen by night

he was born and raised in boston. his mom is an elementary school teacher and his dad worked as a cop. it was the three of them for a little while and then his little sister came along

his dad was…..a real pos. he was an abusive alcoholic w anger issues and often took it out on declan and his mom.

as a kid he would secretly dress up in his mom’s clothes when his parents were at work, parading around the house in her heels and giving himself and also his sister makeovers

his dad eventually out and things got a lot worse. living with his dad was…..somewhat bearable before because declan had just assumed it was normal for a dad to be like that?? he thought that’s just how dads were?? but….after he found out about the all of the dressing up it got pretty impossible to deal with.

eventually, when he was 12, his parents split up and his mom got custody of him & his sister and they moved across town. even though they weren’t together anymore, his dad would still harass his mom and follow her around and threaten her and all this shit, which lasted a few more years, so they ended packing their things and moving away

declan & his family came to baltimore when he was sixteen and he’s been here ever since. he never really pictured himself anywhere but boston but.....he’s here and he luvs it

it was at this time that he formally came out as gay and everyone was like……………ya bitch we know..............ur not foolin anyone u idiot

he was seventeen when he started getting into drag him and some friends snuck into a show and he like….....had this whole epiphany and he’s been doing drag ever since.

he was lowkey bullied a lot in high school and drag became a way for him to like…..express himself and get all of his frustrations out.

as a teenager he was horribly shy and insecure and….honestly just a mess. had very few friends and kept to himself a lot. but since he started drag he’s come out of his shell completely and is now……a friendly and loud and sarcastic piece of shit that u probably wish u never met lmaoooo

he still kind of keeps to himself in the sense that he doesn’t often talk about himself or his personal life unless he’s v close to you. he’s been thru some shit and prefers to keep that to himself u know ??? so…..very few people know about his personal life

during the day he works as a hair stylist, which he’s been doing for quite a few years now & he rly likes.

and by night he hits the clubs to perform in drag. his drag persona is named kristen mingle (pls........i hope y’all understand this pun) and he would describe her as a slutty clown. she’s a twelve foot tall (in reality it’s closer to 7 ft tall since he’s 6′5″ w/out heels) model with legs for days who’s always serving fish on a platter. kristen is very feminine and fashion forward but ultimately…..a true comedy queen

now he’s just……living his life, doing his thing, being a lil bitch. u know. havin a good time

ok time for the lil extra info

he’s quite the bookworm & loves to read. enjoys both the simpler and the finer things in live. for example, catch him reading a book in the bubble bath with glass of v expensive wine

he’s 100000% a wine mom

tries to quit smoking every other week but never succeeds

in terms of like hobbies he’s definitely more reserved ig?? like he would much rather sit at home & drink & gossip or watch netflix or play games or just go out on a long drive somewhere or something then go out and drink and dance?? which is…kind of funny bc he’s literally out at clubs performing basically every night but yolo.

his apartment is v tastefully decorated. that shit looks straight out of a magazine and then u go into the spare room and it’s just.........full of WIGS

he’s probably always got glitter on him

definitely doesn’t date too much ?? he’s a pretty funny & friendly guy when it comes down to it but he also is just like v picky and has p high standards when it comes to dating ig

lowkey kind of a stoner

probably has a bumpin insta page

only bottoms for Love

he’s kind of mean asdfghj but usually he means well?????

anyway he’s a lil bitch & i hope y’all love him i can’t think of what else to say he’s just annoying tbH

peep his pinterest here if u want

i dont have any super specific wcs at the momenT because i’m trash but??? he’s lived in town and in the building for quite some time so....throw everything at me pls. ppl from high school, ex-boyfriends and one night stands, let him put u in drag, idk, i want it All

#soundintro #this shit aint gna be in the tags sMH #abuse tw #alcoholism tw #homophobia tw

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alphabees-writes · 4 years

Text

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him.

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room.

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks.

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore.

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing.

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him.

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus.

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever.

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too.

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass.

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

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yoonminist · 7 years

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💕 crush stories p4 💕

My relationship with my crush is a little complicated lol she's the softes bean ever and has a lot of problems she doesn't wants to talk about and I'm the only one who's there for her but last year everything just went down because i needed a friend to be there for me but she treated me like shit so i turned to another friend and we started dating. While i was in this relationship my crush got a boyfriend (who treats her like shit) After 6 month of dating my gf me and my crush became best friends again and i spent a lot of time with her. I broke up with my gf last week because i had to realise we only dated because we were both lonely. Now I'm back at pining over the smallest cutest girl in the whole world while i have to take care of her or she would probably die dnkdks i actually got her to watch httyd with me as her bf was being an ass and she loved it even tho she usuall hates animation movies lol

you’re right this is complicated lmao so she’s still with her bf ??? even though she’s cute and has her own problems you don’t deserve to be treated like shit so i hope you cleared up whatever that was,,, i suggest you take a little time to enjoy being single before you start thinking about dating this crush now because i’ve seen people date for the sake of not being lonely and it usually isn’t good in the long term but good luck!! and i don’t know how bad her bf is but she should dump him

He's not texting since 3 days ago (our first date)... I think i don't like him any more 💔😭 we've been friends for 5 years...

:’( either he treats you better or you drop him bc you deserve better than that ♡

I think im a little strange, there's a guy that i like(a lot) he is really cool, funny and smart, but i think he is gay. Rather than i'm being sad or something alike, i ship him with his friend, but i still liking him. I'm getting crazy :')

ohhhh does he actually like his friend though or do you just ship them because you think he’s gay ?

aaa, so i've liked this guy for almost 3 months and i did the Thing where i told him (which never happens, because i'm usually way too shy and i tend to want to tamp my feelings back to nothing). that night, we spent hrs walking blocks and blocks and he told me he doesn't like anyone atm, which i understood 100%. after that, it really wasn't bad and we actually hung out at a lookout point for a few more hrs into the morning before he took me home. he's the first person in a while that made me feel so nervous, excited, fluttery, good about myself in a long time. i think (i hope) that i'll be over him soon - at the end of it all, he's still a good friend. the butterflies haven't left yet though - my lil heart won't stop hoping and he's not gonna stop being cute and gosh darn attractive and lovely anytime soon 😫 (ty for letting me rant through this! you're one of my favorite blogs 💝)

THIS IS SO CUTE ahh im glad you went for it!! even though he told you he didn’t like anybody it’s better that you know and don’t spend all this time being hung up on him and wondering about What Ifs so i’m happy for you ♡ he sounds like such a nice friend though so i’m glad you have a person like him in your life and hope that you get over him asap (and thank you !! you’re so sweet 💖)

My crush is an asshole who played push and pull with me for 3 years and recently decided to declare that he likes me, but he's still not sure about us. He said, i quote: 'what if i ask you out and then change my mind' . So we're at square one again😂 he is such an attractive guy, i can't give up on him😭

NO no matter how cute he is you should get rid of him omg what an asshole-ish thing to say,,, trust me even if it’s hard at first you’ll be way happier when you’re over him !! he doesn’t deserve you!!!! ♡

My crush is actually in Korea for the summer (no lie, he's an exchange student at my school). He's so adorable and sweet, but we almost never talk or hang out, and whenever we do I'm always the one to initiate :c Just trying to be optimistic and open about everything rn :s

optimism is good!! hopefully it isn’t because he isn’t interested or already has someone but i guess the best way to find out is always to hint at it or outright ask about his love life ??

Does it count if my crush and I recently married? lol because even though he is my husband not a day goes by that my heart does not flutter with something he does. Wether it be hugging, hand holding or even a smile directed my way, I still get butterflies like crazy. He is the most kind caring and thoughtful person I have had the pleasure of meeting. He is silly and loves laughing. He has the most beautiful eyes and smile I have ever seen. But maybe I'm just being biased lol I love my crush 💜

AWWW CONGRATS ON YOUR MARRIAGE this is so nice ✨✨✨ i love this n hope you’re happy together for As Long As You Both Shall Live

The last time I had an actual full blown crush on someone it was in seventh grade and Jesus Christ let me tell you I was so dramatic over it?? The dude's initials are M.J and I once burst into tears cause I saw the letters on my tv once and we had these letter stickers back then so I put M and J together next to the Pc and whenever someone asked about it I was like it's Michael scofield bc that was back when prison break was ongoing. God I cringe so much now when I look back at it lmaoooo

you burst into tears when you saw his initials fjngjnfjgfn

Okay so my crush is a girl and omfg, she's so pretty?? Her hair falls just above her shoulders and she has brown hair & brown eyes and I take most of my classes with her, but we have the most fun in German, Economics & Managment and Organisation. So she has a lot of... character (idk lol). She is hella stubborn and takes shit from no one but so do I so we banter and insult each other A LOT, but it's always playful so we never feel insulted. But the thing is that i'm a girl too And I didn't even know I liked girls too until I met her lol (so now i'm a closet bi girl). But the thing that gives me hope is that we low key flirt? We send each other snaps stating how much we love each other and always call each other bae/babe etc. I know girl friends do this but it's different I don't even act that way with my best friend and neither is she? And she once confessed to me that she kissed a girl when she was really drunk, but didn't feel anything with it And once we were hanging out with friends, she was drunk and this guy was lying on top of her (a friend who gets real touchy when drunk, but it was all good no harassment of some sorts) she like kept calling me to help, nothing real big. But she also got jealous once when I send a snapchat to her best friend (she was with her @ the time) & she was like why didn't you snap me? So i'm really confused and idk if she likes me too? Sorry for the ramble :(

i relate to this so much lmao i found out i was bi through my first gf too so this all sounds AWFULLY familiar,, i’ll just say if you joke about being in a r/s all the time it’s a sign that you should level it up to a real one but from what you’re telling me i have a good feeling about this!! i hope she really is into you and that you end up dating ❤ (and that you keep me updated whoops)

so im in marching band and there's this one guy in color guard who's really good and the way he can move his body is just like impossible to look away from? and he's really attractive like the other day he was wearing a shirt that had kind of a low neckline and his collarbone was really prominent and i just ahhh??? im not sure if he knows i exist but he's just really attractive help

I LOVE IT I HOPE HE NOTICES YOU AND IT’S LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT

im crushing on this guy for over 3 years. he is a meanie but i like him a lot :') this past week he confessed and said he liked me. but he is not sure if he wants a relationship. we even went out on something like a date :D im very confused rn ahahaha

you need to be clear with this kind of stuff in a r/s so just ask him!! trust your gut though, no matter how much you like him i think that if you don’t think you’ll be happy dating him then just don’t do it :’( ♡

Hey it's the anon that may or may not be gay who has a crush on the girl named Ramona. So.... I think I fucked up. A few friends of mine threw this huge party this weekend and I made sure to tell Ramona so she'd go (I mean goody2shoes at a party come on how cute is that?) So about an hour or 2 into the party she shows up with some friends and I hang around her most of the night, and when I'm not WITH her I made sure I knew where she was. See the part where I messed up is that Im not the best with alcohol... And I drank a bit much. Now I remember kissing Ramona. And that's it. However according to some friends I kissed her she slapped me I pushed her... into the pool and she left crying. Now its Monday and she wont look me in the eye (it's lunch rn and English is next) what do I do?!? I'm an obvious drunk asshole, BUT THATS THE THING! I was DRUNK! I mean I wanna apologize but I can't even get close to her with her friends there

NOOOOO oh my god you really did fuck up ;; can’t you text her asking if you guys can talk ?? tell a friend what happened and hope she’ll understand and let you explain?? honestly i have no idea but i hope you sort it out and let her know how sorry you are but also don’t beat yourself up too much!! accidents happen even if they are bad, it’s ok in the end as long as you apologise,,,,, good luck ♡ and don’t drink around her again ;;

#ask game #these are the last ones i have rn lmao #u can send more if u want !! and bc i love reading them but ill just publish now #unless it's a follow up then u Have To tell me what's going on #also disclaimer i have No idea what im talking abt so u can ignore me kfnjdknfj

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mercenarypark · 7 years

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tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"] but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

#ask to tag /#reblog if u want idc /#captain's log #my writing #i guess?#tf2 posts

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prettylittleliarsxxxx · 7 years

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78 Thoughts to 7x12 “These Boots Are Made For Stalking”

spoilers below. also i’m pretty hard on hanna tonight so if you love hanna, you probably shouldn’t read this lol

I love when the liars bicker

aria gets it, hanna on the other hand does not :) :) :) but it was totes fine when she went rogue and kidnapped noel which led to Spencer getting SHOT

shut the fuck up hanna

of course it was bait! the point of bait, however, is that it’s tempting. of course spencer would take the bait, she just found out she was adopted and is part of the Drake family like ??????????? and how else is she gonna get answers, Hanna? Mary is in the wind and can’t necessarily be trusted, Veronica probably doesn’t know the whole story, nor does Peter, like ???? the point of bait is you get something that nobody else can give you so shut the fuck up

goddddddddd

what the hell did they do to hanna, her character is just. wow.

like why is hanna being such an asshole what the fuck

you go emily you go!!!!

well maybe y’all would be in this together if you weren’t such an asshole to everyone

ohhhh aria not the best move aklsdghalskhg

*groans at alison 2.0*

I don’t want Alison 2.0, I’m already tired of her, can she go away

oh spencer ;_; my child

“he’s hurting too, spencer” I love you, Veronica, but mm-mmh, nope. nope nope nope.

ohhhhh someone hug spencer

thank god for vandermarin. the only hanna scenes I seem to be able to stomach lately

anyway, i love mona

I assume this dress has something to do with caleb

since when are mean girls on sports teams?? like not to be stereotypical, i just, when i was in high school, the mean girls were never on sports teams or in extra curricular groups

b o r e d with addison

“you sounded fragile” that’s a weird thing to say? frantic, I could understand but fragile is a weird thing to say…

guh I love Spencer’s barn but I also super hate the lighting in it

shut up caleb she’s working

shut up shut up shut up caleb, take some god damn fucking responsibility you fucking coward. hanna’s boss isn’t why you guys broke up, like, you’re so ridiculous

is this scene over yet? like? is it done yet?

oh you believe in her now? convenient

tbh I’m not sure why Addison thought paige would like ??? go on a gay jealous rampage or something like she knows emily ??? lol and addison knows she does because of what she heard ???

this storyline makes me wanna throw myself off a cliff. like, first of all, this little brat perpetuating the stereotype that lesbians are predators. second of all, this little brat lying about sexual harassment which is part of why nobody believes sexual harassment claims in the first place like

yep see, the lesbian predator! GREAT

get fucked, addison

i love holden

LKASHGLAK:HG “can i trust you with a knife?” “not that one, it’s bigger than me!” ARIA YOU’RE SO CUTE

I love love love holden

also we all know that ring gonna go missing or some shit

i’m really annoyed that they’re making aria into the girl who hates nicole like come on

yas holden!!! please let aria and holden be friends

breathe emily breathe

listen to paige, it’s a good plan

shut up marco you ain’t know what she’s seen!!!

whatever jenna, you’re a lying sack of poop

alkasdhglhsg THE WAY SPENCER LOOKS AT HER WHEN JENNA SAYS “I CAN HEAR HER BREATHE” bitch said that before spencer got shot

oh pleaseeeeeee this is the biggest crock of shit

shut up marco let spencer talk!!!!!

oh honey there’s a lot she ain’t telling you

lkahsgdlahsdg spencer would never text like that come on!!!!

yaaaaas sparia!!!!

spencer and aria <3 <3 <3 loves of my life who deserve to be happy

oh it’s fine when you ‘bite’ other people but not when they ‘bite’ you, han? :)

have you ever noticed how everyone else has to apologize for being sassy or having an attitude but hanna never does lol

WITH BOOKENDS AWKLGHWALHKG EMILY

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh if Jenna and Addison are working together …. like ….

god i’m so BORED

oh spencer :( :( :(

asdklghalkshdg “oh by the way, we’re selling the house which means you can’t live in the barn anymore”

but also they should have sold this house years ago lol

i’m so happy with veronica’s development over the seasons, i love her so much

“thats what made it a home for me” don’t mind me i’m just gonna crawl under a table and cry

ok i know ezra is in a tough spot, like, i don’t like the dude but i get it, but he’s just. at this point treating aria like shit

damn fucking right caleb can wait

GET IN THERE MONA

em ok i know you’re upset and you should be but just!!!! don’t do anything rash!!!! that’s what the little brat wants

bless u alison

go away caleb nobody likes you

uh ew, hanna and caleb smell the same gross

are those passerby’s really not concerned about a dude stopping a blind girl from walking lol

like i don’t like jenna, she’s a rapist, but like. if i were an unsuspecting passerby, i would be very concerned???

shocker of shocks, hanna walked into a CAGE

thank god for holden

i’m 36 minutes in and it’s taken me honest to god like an hour to get this far because i keep pausing and getting distracted because I’m so fucking bored

did hanna just get hit by a shoe

what happened??? what ALWAYS fucking happens, caleb

how did you not see that backfiring, emily

*whispers* how is it that the one shining light in this god forsaken episode was paige

good GOD holden is gorgeous

petition for them to run off into the moonlight and never go back to rosewood or ezra

also like everyone knows I’m not a fan of Paige but I can admit when she looks hot and god damn she looks good today. flannel and chucks, like, fuck me up!!!!! FUCK ME UP!!!!

uhhhh fuck you hanna don’t say em got off easy??? if that allegation had gotten any traction, it would have been really bad??? like ??????

so is the only reveal that the puzzle is a map ….. ? lmao

#pll #pretty little liars #text post #pll spoilers #spoilers #pll 7x12 #pretty little liars 7x12 #these boots are made for stalking #recap #reactions

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carousels-on-fire · 7 years

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While I enjoy working at the tattoo shop, the outrageously hypermasculine environment is beginning to wear on me.

I understand that not every environment I’m going to work in is going to be as feminist and progressive and queer as art school or film sets were. But my boss has a habit of outrageously hitting on any black woman who even enters the shop. (And because he’s a white man, as much as he likes to claim his .02% otherwise.) It’s a little creepy. The women always laugh but they look super uncomfortable. He’s always either outright flirting or like trying to invite himself out with them. I’m kind of amazed he hasn’t had some sort of sexual harassment suit against him yet. My co-workers are also of the “pink is a gay color, no homo” variety. Like I knew there were people out there like this, I knew this was the sort of people I was going to be around getting into this work, but really??? REALLY??? Quote from a co-worker today: “I can’t go saying that on my page because people will get all sensitive and PC that I said fag.” >____> Or the guys in the shop were talking about how “Man the only vacation we get is when ______(the boss) isn’t here and no one’s dick is getting grabbed.” I do not understand the straight male preoccupation with grabbing other presumably straight men’s junk...what is this no-homo-bonding ritual? And my co-worker was like “Don’t worry, he’ll probably start grabbing your ass too once you’ve worked here long enough.” LOL. How about not. At least two of my co-workers are homophobic, one is totally ok with saying “fag.” And the others edited another co-worker’s selfie on the computer to make it look like he was getting up close and personal with some random male model. And laughing about it like it was funny? Its disconcerting because these dudes are really good artists, who’ve taken the time to sit down and show me stuff with how to improve my drawing skills. Or they’ll let me sit and watch them tattoo for like three hours and give tips while they’re drawing. Or lend me pencils and drawing supplies. And they seem to like my art and have high hopes for me as an artist. And like...none of the bullshit is directed towards me, they always seem to be professional towards me. But they always seem to be giving shit to the one girl apprentice there. She’s like 19 and they seem to always be giving her a hard time. Supposedly it’s because she never listened to what they said starting out. But it seems very pointed. I also notice its always this girl apprentice and the piercer who’s the only other girl but me and one of the artists, who stay to clean up or close up the shop. Like I didn’t realize that one of the older dudes who used to work at the shop was an apprentice, because he never got called to do apprentice things like being the ‘go-for’ or cleaning up the shop, or doing stencils for other people. He was pretty much treated like any of the other artists and asked me to draw stencils for him. But, he has a little experience doing shitty tattoos out of his kitchen like a lot of the other guys did. Should I like...get out now while I still can??? There’s another shop in town that at least has queer people working at it. Like when they’re not being typical southern straight males they’re fun to be around, we listen to the same music. But I can’t help but feel like this environment may become hostile towards me. Like I’ve been going there for a few weeks now, almost a month. And I’m still not an “actual apprentice.” Like I have to keep pestering my “boss” to actually teach me stuff. It doesn’t seem to really matter whether I’m there or not. Most of what I’ve learned has been from the other artists. The other workers keep saying stuff like “You don’t have to do that because you’re not an apprentice yet.” or “He’ll have the serious apprentice talk with you soon.” And like...I get that they have a period of feeling out whether someone’s going to walk or not. But it’s kind of frustrating. But I also feel kind of bad for thinking about leaving because they have taught me so much. Like the guys, the artists that is, really seem to expect me to stick around. I’m not really sure what to do.

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cocaine-for-ants · 6 years

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Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and smack my 16 year old self upside the head in regards to someone in particular from the same high school I went to, and how this has haunted me for almost 10 years.

I’m currently angered by the fact that I was too open-minded for my own good at the time, and was friends with someone who probably would be called a transtrender, considering that she talked about wanting to be a “kawaii uke trap boy” and the like, which honestly should have been a huge warning flag—and while it wasn’t terrible when I was asked to call them Leon at the time—I’m vaguely upset that painting herself as a trans man to flirt with me was a thing, and I’m also extremely angry that after a year or so, she ended up saying “oh, well, I have a perfectly ok body otherwise, so what’s the point of medically transitioning?” and started to berate me that I “wasn’t trans” because I wasn’t very masculine that year, and would berate me for what still feels like a deep-seated need to medically transition.

I’m angry by this because I feel duped, and I feel like I was naive at the time—and honestly, yes, I do think transtrending is a thing because of that experience, and it leaves me with a lot of pain sometimes—especially because it wracks me to the core because I felt duped to flirt back, and it’s probably at the core of why I can’t really pin myself between a 5 or a 6 on the Kinsey scale, and how that really, really bothers me (even though I know that past actions don’t determine sexual orientation, and I’m aware that sexuality is somewhat flexible, but it still bothers me and makes me wonder if that’s how I ended up with even higher standards for masculinity in my partners as an adult...)

I’m also angry that this person was really deranged to the point of confessing that she wanted to kill her family dog to me, and I’m also angry that I got guilt tripped for crying over the beginning of my mom’s frequent alcohol related hospitalizations when someone she knew had a mom who died of cancer, and I’m angry that I had to explain that complaining about “ghetto kids” is extremely racist, and I’m angry that she specifically showed me pictures of Estonian Jews and then made anti-Semitic remarks of “You look Estonian”, knowing full well what she meant, and how she made friends with some uptight Mormon student and started to berate me about swearing in the same conversations where killing animals was mentioned, and I just...

...it’s objectively lower on the rungs of “people who have said and done awful things to me”, but it still bothers me sometimes because I know it contributed to the garbage mood I had the year before an acute suicide attempt at 17, and I don’t know how else to frame it, because I know damned well that describing some of this stuff is just so damned absurd that it’s harder to talk about to people—because at least cis men being guilty of workplace sexual harassment towards anyone who’s dfab statistically more common, and a cis man committing sexual assault against anyone who’s dfab is also more likely, but a cis woman lying about being trans and using this to specifically flirt with and later torment a trans man? Very unlikely.

And while I know that some trans men worry about coming across as “trying to dupe people”, it’s weird to know that it can happen to other trans people, too ...and I wonder if I have a subtle tinge of this on me, and I wonder if there are cis gay men who are particularly picky about the masculinity of trans men for the exact same reasons, and I wonder if there’s this unspoken mutual understanding involving it, and I wonder if there’s some sort of unconscious tell that essentially communicates “I’ve had this happen to me”...

...and it’s all really stupid and I don’t know what to think about it.

#personal #things from high school

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millennialmotormouth-blog · 7 years

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Why Betsy DeVos sucks

For those who need a quick overview of why this directly affects every single one of us:

-We all know someone in school. Whether it's K-12 or higher education -Many of you may be in school, taking classes, or considering going back to school in the near future -A lot of you probably want kids who, I don't know, might need an education

Reasons why Betsy sucks:

1. She does not believe in holding all schools accountable to the same degree in their public education. Why does this suck? If we put everybody on different levels of accountability then “for profit” schools will have the leg up when it comes to higher education. This accounts for the 67% of Charter schools according to publiccharters.org and all private schools. What does this mean? It means you have to be born into money in order to get a good education and make something of yourself. What this creates is a class system unlike any we’ve seen before: the wealthy get wealthier and the poor families are guaranteed low income lives no matter how brilliant they may be. BUT we’re paying partially for these schools from federal government funding so your money is literally PAYING the upper class keep you poor. Also, fun fact, she’s from Michigan (oh hey I found one thing in common!) and Michigan has the largest number of for-profit schools in the nation (according to the NY Times), so she may have drank a little too much of the Kool-Aid.

2. She feels states should control whether schools adhere to laws put in place to aid students with disabilities Why does this suck? By giving the states power there’s no guarantee these students needs will be met the way our current provisions ensure. So a student living in one state may not be able to get an adequate education to prepare them for the real world. They may be unable to keep up in regular classes and subjected to feeling inadequate daily for their “shortcomings” because there is no one trained to assist them the ways they need to be. We pay federal taxes to these schools so we could soon be funding education that is not inclusive those with disabilities who may have to drop out, be home schooled, or receive no education (which by the way is ludicrous). This shouldn't surprise you considering she's a good friend of a man who mocked a man with disabilities...ie. our president-elect.

3. She believes the state should handle whether or not schooling has provisions in place to protect students from harassment, bullying and discipline issues Why does this suck? So we can all agree that bullying exists…but let’s look at the larger picture. Before you’re quick to say “when I was in school kids were bullied and that was that…kids are whiners now-a-days!” (a common mantra from the Trumpers I know)…keep in mind the very real long term effects of bullying. According to Pacer bullying can contribute to depression, substance abuse, anxiety (OH HI THIS EXPLAINS A LOT), sleep difficulties, academic problems, and most importantly to me: violent behavior. We already have a major problem with school shootings in this nation, and there is a thread of these that go back to ill treatment by their peers. Not to mention that according to Pacer students who are bullied are 2.6 times more likely to attempt suicide and you know I feel like keeping our kids alive should probably be a big priority. We need to fix the problem from it’s foundation and show kids that bullying is NOT okay by having a federal government that is willing to stick up for those kids being mentally and physically abused by other students.

4. She believes the state should decide whether or not guns should be allowed on school property. Why does this suck? School shootings are a huge issue in ensuring the safety of our students and should be a very big priority in “Making America Great (again)” How are we going to do that if we’re allowing bullying to continue and allowing people to bring weaponry on school campus’? This could lead to two outcomes: the first being that a bullied student could snap and annihilate a crowd of students and the second being someone wanting to take bullying to a new level could use a gun to threaten or injure their victim. When will be stop mass shootings and focus on protecting the American people? But don��t worry, she says to Senator Christopher Murphy of Connecticut (HELLO WHAT HAPPENED IN SANDY HOOK) that “her heart bleeds for and is broken for the family of those who have lost any individual to gun violence.” So, that’s pretty counter intuitive and sucky.

5. She’s never worked in education (teaching or otherwise), has never attended public schooling or state universities, believes school teachers are overpaid, never taken out a loan for education, but somehow finds it in her charitable heart to donate $200 million to Christian for-profit schools Why does this suck? Aside from the obvious implications of having little to no understanding of what it’s like attending public schools (though, I may be in the same boat because I’ve never experienced private schools so to each his own I guess?) Contrary to her belief, public school teachers hardly make enough money to support themselves and their families and they have one of the most important jobs in America…shout out to all my teacher friends you rock. I know personally many people who went into education thinking “we will always need teachers!” and are now actually regretting their decision because they would also like to provide a good home to their families. She’s also a supporter of Michigan’s “right-to-work” legislation which undermines teachers unions, and has made remarks about the role of Christianity in schools such as the statement made by her husband back in 2006 which contributed to his unsuccessful run for Governor: “The Lord did lead us there, quietly by the heart,” he said, adding that he and Betsy hope “someday, for all parents to be able to educate their children in a school that reflects their worldview and not each day sending their child to a school that may be reflecting a worldview quite antithetical ― which, unfortunately, is the case in some places ― to the worldview that they hold in their family.” (Huff Post)

6. She has little to no understanding of the issues of student loans as she has never applied or needed a loan for her or her children. Why does this suck? $150 Billion a year goes towards higher education, as pointed out by Senator Elizabeth Warren <3 and Betsy would be responsible for a $1 trillion student loan bank and she has never ran any kind of management of money to this degree. She also has no idea what it is like to have a low income job or parents with low income jobs and dreaming of going to college only to have to bear that cross for what feels like the rest of your adult life. Her ability to guide our nation’s decisions in regards to higher education is also very concerning, as she would not confirm that she’s willing to enforce the laws in place to protect students from fraudulent universities. When Trump University fraud was brought to her attention she was unable to give an educated answer and would not lay out any kind of plan to help students who are potential victims of fraudulent universities.

7. She has been fighting federal policy designed to protect sexual assault victims on college campus’ Why does this suck? Because even outside her donating $10,000 to this cause she’s also a woman willing to blatantly ignore the needs and safety of young women. I know you don’t need to hear yet again that one in five women will be sexually assaulted during college (which I will find hard to believe forever because I don’t know very many women that weren’t sexually assaulted in college, but maybe that just points to a larger problem at Penn State). If we have someone heading our department of education who is openly in support of undermining the safety of women this is like giving a free pass and lube tainted with herpes to ever college male looking to “make his mark” during college. If that image doesn’t disturb you I worry about your upbringing.

8. Ok now I’ll say the gay thing: she’s anti LGBT (which may not be an issue to all of us but please take a moment to listen) Why does this suck? She has been quoted as a “hardened anti-LGBT crusader” who donates “tens of millions of dollars to fight the rights of queer people” (Huff Post). She has spoken out in the past about using public education to “advance God’s Kingdom.” (Anyone ever heard of separation of church and state???) The safety of LGBT students should be just as important as any other student, keep in mind that according to Pacer 74.1% of LGBT students were bullied in 2013 alone. That’s an alarming number, wouldn’t you agree? Ready for the kicker guys??? Her and her family have donated at least $6.1 million to Focus on the Family (Huff Post), which, you know, fights the rights of LGBT people, PROMOTES CONVERSION THERAPY, and deems transgendered people as “mentally ill.” Her and her family also donated $500,000 to the National Organization of Marriage…which, you guessed it! Is anti gay marriage. Oh, and if you’re a queer person reading this thinking about how this will affect your future kids? Don’t worry, she’s going to help make sure you can’t adopt as she’s already helped Andrea LaFontaine pass legislation that “allows state funded adoption agencies to discriminate against gay and lesbian couples seeking to adopt.” (Huff Post)

She is quite literally illiterate on the issues at hand (that, you know, would be her job).

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