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creatingnikki · 1 year

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notes from others to myself: 2022 edition

don’t always show your true feelings. use humour. makes things less awkward sometimes.

your heart is not a home for cowards.

so what if you gave parts of you away to these people? you’ve been giving parts of you away since that first friend you made in kindergarten but your essence is not finite so it’s okay.

itna load mat le. don’t stress about this/overthink.

don’t split infinitives when you write.

you can’t let your past experiences lower your standards.

sometimes you have to view problem solving in binary. if you can solve a problem, great. solve it and it no longer exists. if you can’t solve it and there’s nothing you can do about it then stressing about it is of no use either.

you’re so warm. you’ll make friends wherever you go.

using a metal whisk helps lighten hickeys/love bites quickly.

you can’t just keep collecting these days, one-off days, with people and justify that it’s okay because these days are beautiful. because in the long-term it leaves you with nothing. nothing but pain.

stop now. stop looking for that connection with people. maybe you already have it with those in your life and you’re just not investing in it. either way, stop.

habits are the compound interest of self-improvement (atomic habits)

assuming people have your best interest at heart and seeing the world from rose-tinted glasses - that cannot be your starting point; that cannot be your default.

it’s okay if your starting point is - people are assholes. but it has to be people are assholes and I accept that, I am okay with that. I’ll see the good in people when it shows up. but if your starting point is people are assholes and that’s not okay, it’s not helpful.

it's okay to make mistakes. everyone does that. even if you know that you're making a mistake when you’re making it. but once you've done it and you face the consequences and you're like okay this isn't how I want to continue or how I thought it would be...it's alright.

when you ask someone to not judge you or something that you are saying, you are, in a way, insulting them by asking them to not use their sensibilities.

you may desire and deserve the love of men and others but not their shit. look at yourself and everything that you have been through in the last 25 years. everything you've dealt with. everything you've survived. and then you'll know that you deserve better. and anybody who doesn’t see that doesn’t need to be a part of your life.

every science begins as philosophy and ends as art.

any man who makes you feel so horrible about yourself doesn't deserve to be in your life. no matter what a good guy he might otherwise be or what he may have done for you in the past.

it’s like we have this extension chord when it comes to our emotions. when we feel something for a man, no matter how many “buts” no matter how impossible a future together is, our emotional extension chord keeps going on. think our scissors are rusty. we need to fix those rusty scissors and cut the chord off in time, cut our losses like they do.

you have the softest skin. I was afraid to even hold you because touching you tightly left marks on your body. I cannot forget your skin. or how you kissed. yours were the softest kisses.

just write a horrible book. all you have to do is write a horrible book. when you say that to yourself during the writing process, you take off the pressure of having to write something good and just write. and for a first draft, that’s the only thing you need - write.

you need to stop underestimating yourself and letting idiots in. you are beautiful, smart, kind, and funny. these adjectives may seem common but a person being all these things? you? rare. why don’t you see that? the moment a person is treating you like shit, you should be like “bhenchod, there is the door. get out.”

the people who do such childish, immature things are actually the ones who are really messed up. they are the ones hurting on the inside and they don’t even know it so that can translate into behaviour that is petty, insensitive, and dense towards others. don’t get mad at them, don’t take it personally.

retract your claws.

decide what you want - micro term, short term, long term, or life long - with the person. because all four are very different things.

the intensity of your reactions to present situations are simply the compounded impact of everything you have been through this year. and if you don’t hit pause and process what’s happened, you will reach a point where everything will be so jumbled up that you won’t be able to see anything clearly.

the two ends of a spectrum, though seem the opposite, often tend to have many similarities

yes, you are a demisexual but that doesn’t mean you can’t do casual. what you really want is quality of conversations and connections. that’s the way you are demisexual. not that you need something long-term to share something with someone or feel anything towards them. it’s about can you sit and have an interesting conversation with them and can the two of your get and respect each other? that’s what it is.

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bluerosefox · 4 months

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A Fair Warning

It was only a matter of time, and a long awaited and well deserved comeuppance, when Joker tried to hurt the wrong person or people.

Not everyone was going to play his games like 'Batsy' does. Not everyone will hesitate or let him live should he put his hands on someone to hurt them. Not everyone will believe Arkham could 'fix' him, he just needed more time and help.

No.

This time Joker bit off more than he could chew when he kidnapped the newly hired Arkham psychiatrist Jasmine Fenton (and he had plans, so many plans, for her. With her mixture of Harley's mind and her looks matching Gordon's daughter would sure to cause some chaos and pain in memories) and the girl's visiting sister Danielle 'Ellie' (and did he laugh when he noticed the 'Wayne' adoptive looks the girl had, on the fun he'll have, maybe he'll beat her the way he beat the second Robin just for funzie's, it'll no doubt upset Batman) from Jasmine's apartment.

He had plans to keep the Bats guessing where he was and by the time they reach him it'll be far to late for them to save either of the two girls, he had just sent the little video he taped to the Bats and the police to get the ball rolling...

So...

So why did a shiver run down his spine for the first time in years when they both looked unafraid (it was their eyes that made him shiver, a look of already dead yet somehow alive, something he never seen before. He's seen the light fade from people's eyes before yes, he's even laughed as he watch people desperately cling onto life only for it to fade into nothing as they took a final breath but never have he seen someone, something alive yet dead at the same time before. It, their eyes, held a natural yet unnatural sense as they stared at him, stared at everything that made him Joker and it unnerved him), honestly they looked very bored, and one of them (the youngest of the two, and the one with more of the look of death than life in their eyes) said with a chill tune in their tone.

"Last chance to back out of this Freakshows Reject. You wont like what'll be waiting for you."

The tone alone was enough to send another bone deep chill down Joker's spine.

But instead of listening to his natural instincts, the deep inkling of run blaring at him, Joker merely placed a grin on his face, ignoring the strain he felt from doing so, and said as nastily as he could in order to scare the two girls (BOTH OF THEM STILL LOOKED BORED WITH HIM?!?! Not even a twitch of fear!)

"OH? And pray tell what is awaiting little ol' me hum?"

His mocking question got a wide feral grin from the smaller girl, a grin with sharp teeth and iris eyes beginning to bleed slowly from sky blue to neon green with each second he stared at her and he barely stopped himself from jumping in his spot when Jasmine answered his question.

"Your end."

-x-x-

By the time the Bats get to the warehouse Joker had taken Dr. Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton and Danielle 'Ellie' Fenton they were prepared for anything and everything to go wrong. As much as they held the tiniest bit of hope that the two young women were still okay they knew better than to really do, this was the Joker that had them after all.

They had manged to narrow down his location much quicker than normal when they gotten Joker's first video and his little 'game' he was setting the Bats on, most locations he gave them were going to be red herrings or traps to keep them busy and it would had worked. Batman and the others would had been searching for hours for even a hint of the clue of where the Joker and his hostages were actually being kept.

It was nearly, not really, a shame all of Joker's plans went to waste when Red Hood had stumbled onto something when scooping out Jasmine's apartment with Red Robin.

You see, not only were they looking for clues at first but something about the apartment Jasmine rented seemed off, Red Robin noticed it first and called in back up encase there was more to oldest Fenton than what they could dig up (oldest daughter of Dr's. Jackson and Madeline Fenton, grew up in a small Illinois town, straight A student and a goal to become a psychologist, has two younger siblings, etc etc) and their suspension raised up more when the moment Red Hood entered the apartment and seemed to freeze for a moment.

Red Hood couldn't really explain it but he said it felt like something was... strange. Not evil bad danger strange but it felt familiar? Like he was a kid again on the streets and had walked into someone else's territory but knew the person wouldn't be too much of a hardass about it as long as he didn't stur up trouble or disrespect. A kind of... as long as you don't fuck around you won't find out feeling.

It was because of this feeling that Jason had manged to stumble across something in the room, his instincts telling him there was more to it, and they had discovered a clunky old custom PDA hidden away in a false floorboard in the office room. Thankfully Red Robin, was there in person because the old thing apparently had a rather ingenious firewall to keep others (aka Hackers) OUT but it did nothing against someone who held the main thing.

But still it took Red Robin almost frying the damn thing to get to open up, turns out the ghost and star stickers on the PDA was a rather large hint of the pass code. Once Red Robin was in the PDA he noticed some rather interesting files, one of them labeled "Gremlin Tracking" with a tiny green blob with red eyes and a green outlined star as the icons.

Curiosity taking a hold on the most curious of the Bats he opened it up, hoping it would need another password, and watched as the screen split into two maps, one was... strange, there was no land marks or anything but the star icon seemed to be right in the middle of wherever it was and the only hint of anything was the name "baby brother" and the map labeled as IR.

The other one showed an above map of Gotham, before zooming into the city, heading towards some abandoned warehouses Red Robin knew of and stopped right at one. This was the green blob icon, the short abbreviation for Gotham in the corner of the map, and the name for the icon was 'baby sister'

Red Robin immediately got onto coms to tell the others of what apparently was a tracker for Jasmine's younger siblings. Some questioned why the young woman had trackers on her siblings, though some of the others snarked back that "oh didn't know keeping trackers on each other wasn't normal. Mind if I loose the one you got on me than?"

After a quick sweep into the warehouses camera feeds, the very few up that could be accessed, done by Oracle they quickly discovered that yes the tracking on the younger girl of the two, Danielle Fenton, was correct and that was where they and Joker were at.

Despite this, Batman decided that in order to make sure Joker didn't have suspicion that they already know his actual location he made sure to send a few of the others to the fake locations.

So here they were now, staking out the warehouse where they could see a few of the Jokers goons walking around and looking for a way into the building without alerting any of them. As they talked low into coms, Robin mentioning a possible way in for Red Robin by how small it was, Red Robin hissing back a "just because you got a growth spurt doesn't mean you can poke fun at my height you little-"

"Wait!" Red Hood suddenly hissed shouted, his tone startling the rest of them and they all turned their heads to him. Batman made a quick and harsh grunt as a way to say "report."

Under his helmet Jason's eyes were wide and wild. He could feel something, something huge was on the rise, like something was out of sight but the energy of it was felt.

And if Jason could feel it from his spot, the Jokers goons all felt the same thing from the way they all dropped their weapons, turned toward the warehouse and looked ready to bolt like scared animals.

Jason opened his mouth to explain but fell silent when the feeling suddenly popped. Whatever was causing the feeling was here and like the calm before the storm he could only watch as the first drop of rain fall.

The next thing they know, was the noise and the screaming.

It was inhuman, a mixture of noise and sounds to hard to explain. The closest they could explain was a thousand voices coming in all at once mixing with radio static that kept changing volume so only few words could be even hinted at, and the angry cawing of crows along with the flapping of their wings as they took flight. The noise was so bad that many who heard it nearly ripped their coms out, or covered their ears. Thankfully it only lasted a few seconds.

Then, the air itself shifted. It felt like the coldest of winter nights and bone chilling shivers ran down their bodies for a moment. The air was suddenly that sharp cold that hurt to breathe sometimes.

The goons surrounding the warehouse fled in fear. Many scrambling to get far, far away from whatever was happening. If they felt even a fraction of what Jason could feel, he could understand. He honestly felt like a small animal cornered by a predator and there was no escape.

Then just as suddenly as it happened, everything shifted again. The noise of Gotham returned to normal, cars honking, a stray cat hissing or a dog barking, police sirens in the distance, hissing steam from a nearby factory. The air went from winter cold to a chill mid winter harbor feel now.

Once everyone registered what had just happened and not wanting to waste anymore time they bolted towards the warehouse, cautious and alert in case they needed to fight. Batman went in first, quickly making his way to the area he knew Joker would be with the Fenton sisters and wondered just what the fuck was that? Did Joker do something? Was he messing with things outside of his usual MO?!

He walked into the room and stopped.

There was nothing.

The room was in fact the room Joker had used to record his first message to them, the layout was correct and the evidence of two people who had been tied up were still there as well, ropes that weren't cut sitting on them, a lone lamp light above shining down from above no doubt to emphasize the two girls were meant to be the 'stars' of Jokers latest show. Thing was, the two weren't there despite the fact Oracle swore she could see them a few mins ago from a camera set up in the room, she would later explain that she heard the noise as well and that all her tech had glitched hard.

The only other thing in the room was, sitting innocently on one of the chairs was a green sticky note and on a tiny pillow was a tiny sickly green orb with hints of purple, white, and red swirling in it.

A note they would later read the following message written on it after carefully examining it over.

'Joker learned not to touch what is mine to protect. Sorry not sorry, but hey one less killer clown and he was warned not my fault he didn't take it seriously... The massive amount of souls wanting to rip apart the Joker's soul into nothing was quite a sight to be honest.

They were so ruthless. Best not mess with the vengeful dead am I right?

PS. I left a tiny gift for Jason Todd aka Robin Two. It's the tiniest piece of Joker's soul left over after everyone else got done. He can finish it off since he's a reverent and all, and well they need their revenge filled in order to peacefully move on later or else they'll be stuck forever in a loop of madness and revenge. So yeah. Hope he likes the gift.'

D.P.'

It took Jason less than a second after those words were spoken out to reach for the orb, ignoring the cautious and alarmed cries of the others, and could feel deep, deep, deep in his own soul the absolute pure weeping joy as he threw the orb onto the floor, the bottom shattering thus it didn't roll away and stomped hard with his reinforced boots. Crushing the broken orb into more pieces and if one listened closely they could hear the pure screaming terror that came from it.

And Jason for the first time in years felt his rage finally leave him.

#danny phantom dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #crossover #blue rambles #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #Danny is like a cryptid in this one #is he the Ghost King? Or just a very very powerful ghost that can help stabilize other ghosts into a corporal form? idk you pick #The Bats return to base only to find all data on Jazz gone #even the report on her and Danielle being kidnapped are gone #even the Joker's recording is gone #like it never happened #if they try confronting her she only smiles and says she warned him or says 'Joker who?'#The only thing they have left that's proof is the sticky note and the PDA Tim still has #when he later looks at the history and data he noticed it move #for a few mins the tracker for 'baby brother' had moved from IR to Gotham right next to 'baby sister' before returning to IR with the other #this happened right on the dot of Jason warning them to wait #I love writing the 'Joker fucked around and found out' stories tbh #any mistakes I will fix later #I still need new glasses can barely see rn

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