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marzaid · 2 months

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Time travel AU where post canon Lan Qiren travels back in time to when Wei Wuxian is 4 and has just lost his parents. Lan Qiren may hate the man (now boy), but he still follows the rules strictly and will not kill. Instead, Lan Qiren finds a 4 year old Wei Wuxian cowering in an alley hiding from dogs. He protects the boy because the rules tell him that it is his duty to do so.

There is a spiteful part of him that wants to send this boy far away. However, he reconsiders when he thinks of how the Wei Wuxian in his previous life created Demonic Cultivation when left unattended. The best way to keep the boy in line, Lan Qiren figures, is to raise him himself as a ward. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, they say.

So that is exactly what Lan Qiren does.

Wei Wuxian is brought back to the Cloud Recesses and raised as a ward alongside Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji. Lan Qiren would prefer otherwise, but he doesn't trust anyone else but himself to control Wei Wuxian.

As time goes by, Wei Wuxian proves to be the same and different to the one that Lan Qiren knew previously. He's energetic and mischievous, carefree, with a love for teasing others. Every bit as genius and inventive as Lan Qiren knew of the boy in his previous life. However, there was a strong sense of justice that he didn't notice the last time (or refused to see, but it would take years for him to admit to himself).

And Wei Wuxian thrives in a way that Lan Qiren didn't expect. He knew that Wei Wuxian was powerful and intelligent, yet he did not realize just how so. As much as the boy loved to tease and joke around, he could also be found in the Library Pavilion studying whatever random topic caught his interest. Talking everyone's ears off on what he learned or ways that certain things can be improved upon.

It infuriates Lan Qiren to no end because many times, Wei Wuxian is right. Many times, Wei Wuxian just needs guidance to find the right direction or a different perspective. Since Lan Qiren was raising him alongside his own nephews, the people that Wei Wuxian goes to the most are them: Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji. The latter two always happy and excited to discuss the myriad topics, while the former confused as to the feelings he's having for the boy.

Lan Qiren's sister-in-law passes, and Wei Wuxian kneels next to Lan Wangji in the snow for hours silently in comfort. It's the first indication that the boy is secretly kind and compassionate (not so much if had he paid attention the last time and rid himself of clouded judgments). It's the event that causes the two boys to be inseparable. Of course Lan Qiren is worried but, he tells himself that he will not let them marry. He will not let Wei Wuxian turn into that evil man he ended up being.

Years keep going by, and Lan Qiren finds himself slowly warming up to Wei Wuxian. He's there for many important firsts (losing his teeth, golden core formation, getting his sword, etc). He will never admit that his heart squeezed when the boy accidentally calls him A-die without thinking because he's so excited about something he's learned.

Jiang Fengmian comes to the Cloud Recesses when he finds out that Weo Wuxian is there. Desperately, he tried to convince Lan Qiren to let the boy become a part of Yunmeng Jiang. But Lan Qiren is adamant in his refusal. The boy was raised there the last time and look at how he ended up! He doesn't know that this fundamentally changed Wei Wuxian's destiny. From a tragic hero given a second chance to a free boy allowed to be happy.

The Jiang sect leader mentions during this visit that Wei Wuxian owes Lan Qiren a life debt. It's something that hadn't crossed Lan Qiren's mind. Not really. He had been raising the boy selfishly to change a horrible future. Sure. However, it was against the rules and his own morals to demand a child pay reparations to be allowed to live. He has felt the same way when Lan Sizhui, his good perfect Lan Sizhui, had been adopted into the family. To Lan Qiren, it was unfathomable to demand payment from a child in such ways.

And anyway, Wei Wuxian's genius was already making itself known. If the boy invented even half of what he came up with in his previous life (Lan Qiren crossed his fingers for no Demonic Cultivation), then the Lan Sect would be paid in full from the proceeds.

Still, years continued to creep by, and Lan Qiren began to feel pride in Wei Wuxian. He followed the rules decently well, received his punishment with little protest, and had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. The boy could be seen at any given moment debating an array of topics with seniors, elders, and peers.

When Wei Wuxian started going on night hunts with Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, the three became known as the Three Jades of Lan. Pride bloomed even more in Lan Qiren's heart. He had successfully turned Wei Wuxian into a good and polished man. What he didn't realize was that he gave structure to a boy who needed it and didn't make him feel guilty for existing.

The Wens came and tried to burn the Cloud Recesses down but didn't succeed. Between Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji, the wards were strengthened, and the books copied and protected. The Sunshot campaign took longer to fight because Wei Wuxian had learned long ago of the dangers to the mind and body that it caused. He had also learned that he shouldn't rip himself apart to help others. Lan Qiren had implored the boy to never try and had used the boy's love and adoration for Lan Xichen and especially Lan Wangji to convince him.

After the Sunshot campaign, Wei Wuxian comes to Lan Qiren about the innocent Wens cultivator and noncultivator alike. By this point, Lan Qiren can agree that innocent people should not die because of selfish greed and blind prejudice. There are years of trials completed by a multisect jury. The Wen sect survives but becomes a minor sect by the time the trials and reparations are completed. Under Wen Qionglin, they focus on medicine and archery.

Wen Qionglin swears brotherhood with Wei Wuxian. It doesn't surprise Lan Qiren in the least bit. Had it been a lifetime ago, it would've infuriated him yet with all these years and direct dealings with Wen Qionglin, he respects the boy. Admires the gentleness that hides a fierce strength and sense of justice. Especially admires Wen Qing, who Lan Xichen ends up falling for and marrying. Again, had it been a lifetime ago, he would've lost his mind. Now, Lan Qiren can see Wen Qing for her genius, her directness, strictness, and her advancements in medicine.

After Lan Xichen and Wen Qing marry, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian approach Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen to ask about marriage. There is no denying them at this point because he knows that the Wei Wuxian of his previous life is nothing like this current Wei Wuxian (he is but Lan Qiren has no one to admit it to). And anyway, he knows the two will simply elope if denied.

It's several years later, when Lan Qiren finally sits Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Lan Xichen down and tells them a story from a lifetime ago in a forgotten timeliness that may exist somewhere out there if you believe in multiple universes (not surprisingly Wei Wuxian does). They patiently listen as Lan Qiren details everything. There is silence for a long, unbearable moment when he's finished speaking.

Eventually, it's broken by a hug from Wei Wuxian, "Thank you, A-die, for giving me another chance in this life."

"I should be the one thanking you, A-Ying," Lan Qiren says softly, himself grateful for his second life.

#mdzs #the untamed #Lan Qiren #Wei Wuxian #Wei Ying #mdzs fic #the untamed fic #Lan Wangji #Lan Zhan #Wangxian #Lan Xichen #me writing a fic in 2024?!#holy shit more likely than you think #this is good uncle Lan Qiren though he probably selfishly wants to be bad uncle #he just adopted a child amd thought he wouldnt grow to love the boy as his own son #what a moron

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silkclan · 7 months

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Silkclan

Moon 0

(Genders of cats can change)

Cinnamonstar

He/him

33 moons

Leader

A very wise leader, slow to approach difficult situations.

Much to the dismay of many Silkclan warriors, who would prefer to act on impulse

An avid lore keeper, Cinnamonstar believes in destiny and thanks those who made the clan possible everyday

As cats go he is very religious, though he does not force it upon his clan, he is often times found thanking star clan.

One of the only members of the clan to have spoken with their assigned star clan guide

Cherrybright

She/they

23moons

Deputy

Much like Cinnamonstar she is also very wise, perhaps that is why they were chosen as deputy? Though it’s hard to ignore the wistful glances she and Cinnamonstar share with one another

Cherrybright is quick to resolve conflicts and make peace among her clan, another very admirable quality for Silkclan deputy

Though their patience ways strong, Cherrybright is the opposite of a delicate warrior. Cherrybright’s fighting skills are of the strongest in the clan. You wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. Or for that matter Cinnamonstar’s

Tornshadow

She/her

124 moons

Medicine cat

Though Silkclans medicine cats 124 moons old, she would tell you she’s just as capable as any other cat. And she would be right.

When Tornshadow notices a sparring match start, she is fast to demand to be included, warriors are usually taken a back by their resident elder medicine cat wanting to fight. In the first half they tend to go easy on her, but you will soon learn that is not so affective when you get the wind knocked out of you by one of her seemingly stubby legs.

Tornshadow after, will promptly tell you to be patched up in the medicine den, mind you while she lectures you on everything you did wrong in battle training. Because of this warriors don’t like to spar with her much anymore. But she’ll always look for a way to stretch her legs.

Sense the clan started, she’s formed a very powerful star clan bond. Cinnamonstar often relies in her for decision making because of this, she on the other hand is getting quite peeved. Can’t dead people just leave her alone?

Blissrise

He/they

57 moons

Blissrise is seen by many as righteous, but he thinks they just follow the rules very well!

Some cats dislike him and some heavily enjoy his company

He isn’t very socially aware, often getting wrapped up in clan patrols and chores in favor of others needs. His friends are trying to get him to be more aware.

Blissrise is very clever and quick witted, because his brain moves so fast and constantly, cats think that’s what makes him such a great story teller.

He loves telling story’s, mostly about what he does in a day. He can make any boring task found exciting with merely just his thought process. That’s why so many cats love him and his quirks.

Quillfur

He/him

59 moons

One of Quillfur’s traits is being very strict, many don’t understand he means well when he orders cats around. But because of his background he tends do this from worry.

Quillfur is very secretive with his background, but a few know that he left his mate of many moons to join the clan. She did not agree with moving away despite the rapidly declining living situations.

Where Quillfur came from you needed to be ready to catch anything, to this day he is a very talented hunter. Many warriors are amazed by the giant voles he brings back to camp, just to go back out for another.

Very few can argue with his ability to quickly make a nice den, even out of the most shabby materials.

Timberhiss

She/her

140 moons ( elder )

A very smart old she-cat that’s seen her fare share of odd situations

Though her bones ache she can still remember a time when she could catch mice in the rafters with ease

Timberhiss loves to indulge in a good story, she tells tales of giant two leg dens, thick with cobwebs and overrun with cats. She speaks of it fondly, though others get concerned when her story’s take dark turns. All the while Timberhiss remains nostalgic.

Her favorite past time is enjoying strolls in secluded edges of the territory, occasionally stopping for a bathe in the sun.

Coldkit

She/her

5 moons

As the clan was just starting to form they came across a kit stuck deep in a drain pipe, they almost didn’t notice her there, not making a single sound.

That kit was Coldkit, with much effort by everyone they managed to retrieve the Coldkit by lowering a branch. The whole ordeal left the whole group very exhausted, especially Cherrybright who was the main organizer.

Coldkit, who was very scared but wasn’t so good at reflecting her fear seemed unbothered by the situation to everyone. The clan seeing she couldn’t find her parents, took her in. Cherrybright, put themselves in a lot of peril in order to save her, and never got a “thank you”…Cherrybright has a strong dislike for Coldkit.

Coldkit still remains quiet nearly a moon later, her bright blue eyes can often be found burning into other cats flanks. Almost every cat in the clan is freaked out by this. Except Blissrise, who stares right back.

#clangen #warrior cats #warriors oc #silkart #art #silklore #cinnamonstar #cherrybright #Tornshadow #Blissrise #Timberhiss #coldkit #clangen art #Silkclan #Quilfur

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darlingpwease · 8 months

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♡♡ Cale (anon), if you were a character in a novel, I would ship you with...

'I always getting myself stuck in drama I mean I like drama but I don't want to be in it' sounds like a challenge to make drama /hj

cw slightly nsfw

nie huaisang

fandom's main sweethearts — a guy who behaves like a crybaby but is the smartest bitch and a guy who teases but at the same time would rather die than step over the threshold of the house. there are so many metas about who is the main abuser in your couple and why your couple is not an abuse and there are even several posts "why does everyone call it problematic when there is nothing problematic? antis now believe that couples is obliged to tell each other only sweet things?? teasing is now an abuse???" "it's not teasing it's BULLYING it's ABUSE"

your dynamic is the most favorite for creating any content. two little blorbos in modern au who are engaged in pinning since no one takes the first step; NIE HUAISANG who needs grounding after his brother's death and he manipulates and pulls strings here and there so that you are always with him, since you are the only thing that now gives him a sense of peace and security; you is probably too fond of NIE HUAISANG and constantly teases him mixed with demands to stay at home with you, but NIE HUAISANG is fine because 'Nie Huaisang Is A Good Friend (he's not a friend)'; mermaid!NIE HUAISANG who is under your supervision and gradually falling in love; princess!NIE HUAISANG, who is very much ok with living with the dragon and no longer wants to get married and rule some state since he can stay with you. the most popular thing is that redesign of the meme 'Ariana Grande Licking a Lollipop' where NIE HUAISANG looks at you while nie mingjue looks out from around the corner. is it cursed? absolutely. just like that ship.

In any case, you would be a wonderful match! NIE HUAISANG is very loyal and adoring for his darling, but prone to long silent pinning, even if this is not what he wants, but not that losing you clumsily confessing his feelings was his desire. You won't find any problems there with your introversion or the quality of a stay-at-home -no, of course, he could try to do something, but why? Your unwillingness to meet someone else only means that the chance of you having someone undesirable is lower, which is only more profitable for NIE HUAISANG — he will indulge your introversion and avoidance of people; he himself has an extremely amazing talent to read people and understand how to interact better to achieve the desired result, and his current the ideal result is your dependence on him as the only one with whom you are socially comfortable.

Do you have any other friends? Not very well, but, fortunately, you won't immediately notice that something is wrong when they become less likely to make contact, and eventually leave you — but you have NIE HUAISANG! And he brought things that give you comfort! And he is always there, soft and warm, tolerating you and giving you peace! And he's so timid, but affectionate and tenacious, but you don't get the feeling that he's suffocating you. His penchant for drama is combined with your sense of humor; he remembered charmingly blushes when you tease him and can portray (staged) tears if he sees that you want to see it. When it comes to emotions, NIE HUAISANG is extremely labile and easily mimicking, looking at your reaction to certain actions (not planned by him at all) and checks how far it can go.

Besides, well, objectively speaking, will you meet an even bigger simp than him? Even if NIE HUAISANG looks like a timid squirrel, innocent and skittish crybaby, he is the type who can kill or be what he needs to be to get what he wants. He has problems coping on his own, often needing outside support, but when NIE HUAISANG chooses a goal, he goes to it, no matter if it's roads or someone's heads, and the fact that you are introverted saves a lot of destinies.

Fortunately, you will quickly get used to your situation — NIE HUAISANG seems like a cute sunshine that always stays with you while others leave, and even if he is clingy and sticky, reacting with delight like a puppy from any of your caresses, he always remains flexible. Especially for your reactions. NIE HUAISANG lives off emotions — yours; as soon as he sees that something causes you more momentum, he goes with it.

You may not be quite sure if you understand the situation correctly when your gentle and soft NIE HUAISANG bites you while fucking on the kitchen table with you because he wants to know something about you about your "friend" or has suspicions that you are thinking about someone else, but that's okay! Really — even when your back is scratched, and there are a few bruises on his body here and there, but not that he has anything to be ashamed of in the house with his husband; or when he squeaks while you're hammering into him after he's behaved like a brat again, provoking you, because never never never your attention is not enough, and if he can, he will force you to look at him and only at him.

mo ran

problematic. so problematic. everyone looks and says that these are two gremlins biting each other, and that's true — but, apart from that, almost all the works with you contain smut, while those that do not contain just haven't received a chapter with a similar age restriction yet. however, at the same time, this is the thorn where everyone understands that it easily becomes "sharper and darker" in the same way as "lighter and lighter" and tacitly agree that yes, they are fucked up, but how!

you are so different: MO RAN is an aggressive wild extrovert, while you are just as aggressive introvert; he is chatty and bright, while you are silent and muted; after all, he is a dog, while you are a cat, — but damn him if he walks past you without catching on and not realizing that he would do anything to have a chance. MO RAN is the embodiment of 'ride or die', and if he feels an impulse, he goes, no matter how hard you push him away or try to wriggle out, because if the impulse happened, then a chemical reaction happened, and even if he is as dumb as a dog with what is happening on a carnal level, MO RAN is more than familiar.

sexual attraction is established immediately and, even if you are, well, not at all the type who is interested in sex with everyone, MO RAN is a dog who always clearly makes it clear what he wants, and, well, dogs don't treat rejection very well — and it's not about forcing (it's not that bad), but you know that if you don't get the upper hand over the dog, then the dog will get the upper hand over you, and the first stage of your relationship is exactly the period where he is looking for what command you want to give or do nothing, andadjusts in the future depending on this.

although he is an extrovert, MO RAN does not try to force you to go out, quite satisfactorily hiding you in his chest while rest in your house, next to which no one lives — not that he would mind taking his baobei to some restaurant, protecting you like a guardian, but if you do not want, then who is he like that to force you? he may be sexually aggressive, but in decisions he is always more submissive, reacting with aggression only if someone flirts with you — and, even if you are an introvert, you really better not aggravate his mental health, giving all sadistic and cruel tendencies to be outside when he eventually breaks down and knocks out (will kill you if you are not around) someone who will be too persistent.

however, MO RAN is more than good at communication! he is very good at words and can support your jokes or style, and although it will be difficult for you to embarrass him with teasing, he is sensitive to the manifestation of love and willingly wags his tail at it. dark sense of humor cannot confuse him, as well as your straightforwardness or bluntness — MO RAN himself is no better, even if at first he will say that this is obviously not the case, as if he did not specially cook spicy dishes for you for several hours just to show how good he is and say that he did not cook quite for you but since you are here, then you can taste and give him your assessment (and you yourself are no longer sure whether he is flirting or proudly showing off.)

(wow, some sweet pieces! well, he will make you a little, just in case you cry after a spicy meal or something like that, he did not think about you at all during cooking and does not want your cooking, aha...)

#🧸.matchup

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4rainynite · 2 years

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Ever After High Headcanons

Hi, these are a few of my headcanons for the series Ever After High. After rereading the books and rewatching the web show I have a lot of headcanons to go around and I'll probably post some more later. Enjoy! (Warning! Some of these will be long and have dark subjects in them)

Raven's first year (freedom year) of Ever After High was very lonely. She wasn't assigned a roommate, she ate lunch alone, and the school year started after the Evil Queen was captured and executed (or so everyone heard) so Raven was isolated from her classmates. One day our favorite Hatter noticed how sad and lonely Raven was and tried to befriend her. At first Raven thought Maddie was trying to prank her or lure her into a false sense of security because; why the heck would a Wonderlander want to be friends with the daughter of the villain who destroyed her home? One day, Raven explodes on Maddie and demands why she's trying to be her friend after what her mother did to Wonderland. Maddie tells Raven that she noticed how sad and lonely she knew that what the Evil Queen did to her was horrible, but Raven is not her mother. That is the first time someone hasn't compared her to her mom and Raven breaks down and ask Maddie for forgiveness. Being the sugar cube that she is Maddie forgives her and they become best friends. Maddie then introduces Raven to her roommate Cedar and eventually befriend Cerise.

All their lives the Charming kids thought Daring would be the prince Snow White, Dexter would be the beast in Beauty in the Beast, and Darling would be a generic damsel-in-distress. But it's Darling the princess charming, Daring the beast, and Dexter the damsel-in-distress. When Dexter finds out the destiny he was suppose to have he's disheartened because of years of being overshadowed by his siblings he gets the worst destiny.

Faybelle dyes her hair blonde. In the book 'Unfairest of Them All' she had midnight blue hair, but in the web series she's a blonde with a streak of blue in her hair. When she was little her mother told her that 'light has no moral compass, and to never live in the shadows', so Faybelle dyed her hair, and the blue streak is all that remains of the midnight blue hair.

In their youth Gennedy (The Good King), Dashing (King Charming), and Pine Oak (Pinocchio) were the best of friends. Once, it was revealed Gennedy would be the future husband of the Evil Queen, Dashing broke off their friendship because he didn't want to be associated with someone with an evil destiny. Pine Oak remained by Gennedy's side and was one of his few remaining friends to adulthood.

After, almost drowning as a child Apple became a shower person. Snow White removed the tub from Apple's bedroom after the incident. Baths, pools, and beaches freak her out.

Out of all the king/queendoms the Beauty Queendom is behind on technology, fashion, and etc, due when the Sleeping Beauty goes to sleep for a hundred years everyone else does. When the Evil Queen cursed Sleeping Beauty instead of the Dark Fairy, Headmaster Grimm put them in a bubble and did that 'years inside minutes outside trope' to not over curse Sleeping Beauty and ruin the story. That was the first time the Beauty Queendom was in sync with the modern world.

Magical beings, those with destines similar to Briar, or powers have a longer life span then no-magics. For example - if Briar does do the hundred years sleep her, Raven, Cupid, Faybelle, Ginger, Farrah, and maybe Rosabella, will be around while the others will be dead or old.

I don't care what 'Class of Classics' said I don't thing teen King Charming wore glasses since in ' A Semi-Charming Kind of Life' Dexter's the only Charming with glasses. I can see teen King Charming being clumsy and trying to covering it up.

In the Twelve Dancing Princesses story whichever princess the soldier picks is the one who has twelve daughters. Not saying that the others can't have kids they do - it's just they usually have 1-3.

When Hunter's father found out that the Hoods thought that he was Cerise's father he was furious (Mrs. Huntsman even more) and for years told them Cerise wasn't his daughter. After, 'Unfairest of them all' they told Mr. Huntsman he was right and how they wished he was Cerise's father. Mr. Huntsman gets suspicious and worries for Red and ask if Cerise father did anything to harm her or Cerise. Red tells him that her family just didn't approve of him. Knowing the Hoods are secretive people and he trust Red he drops it. When Cerise's secret is revealed, Mr. Huntsman vows to protect Cerise and her parents (after he accepts Hunter is a vegan and hanging out more with Mr.Badwolf).

We all know the Mad Hatter was the marriage officiant for Red and Mr. Badwolf, but who were the witnesses? In certain states they require that at least two people must be witnesses. My guesses are the Cheshire Cat and Maddie's mother. I can see them having the Cheshire Cat since she's a trickster and no one would believe her if she said that Red Riding Hood Married the Big Bad Wolf; too bad they didn't think of her telling Kitty.

Since Maddie got her mint green hair from her father, she gets her violet hair from her mother.

If I could rewrite Ginger in the BreadHouse I would have Raven, Cupid, and Cerise help Ginger prove she just wanted to bake sweets for everyone. I found it weird that Cupid believed Gus and Helga's lies (GIRL! You went to Monster High and the cooking teacher was a witch) and Cerise is Ginger's childhood friend. Cupid would advertise Ginger's sweets on her show, Cerise would help baking sweets, and Raven could get her fellow Rebels to try Ginger's snacks. Word reaches Jack Horner and he approves of the Giger's culinary skills. Ginger still lets Gus and Helga enjoy her treats and they become her best customers.

#ever after high #eah #everafterhigh #ever after rebel #ever after royal #ever after high headcanons #my art

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void-tiger · 2 years

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Warning: Sandman Spoilers.

(I’d plop a Read More here except I can never remember how to do that in mobile, mobile is much friendlier in layout to how my brain functions than the full web-on-computer will ever be, and Readmores flatout break my ability to edit, say, tags after I hit that Post button.)

Right. Okay.

…I think what irritates me about the Endless Siblings?

Delirium Can Do No Wrong Because She Baby (which is true. We dunno what shit happened to her that forced her to shift from Delight to Delirium, but we know it was BAD) even when she torments mortals for her Games (just less maliciously than Desire and Despair; it’s debatable if she’s fully Aware of the consequence of what she’s doing), even when Delirium’s (understandable!) demand to have Destruction back actively kills people!

Or Destruction—who LEFT and almost demands the others to leave as well despite Not All Of Them CAN Leave (and to be frank? Him abandoning his post despite having Creation as his counter-domain is probably why, say, warfare became SO destructive SO rapidly followed by a technological boom)—and literally planted what might as well have been BOMBS in his closest friends if any of his siblings tried to find him.

Or Desire—who fucks around and NEVER has to find out. Who actively targets Dream and blames Dream for their bad relationship with their older brother…and never takes any accountability for their own part in it and continued active antagonism and actively trying to DESTROY Dream either by spilling family blood and igniting the Kindly Ones’ Wrath and using Dream’s Own Function against him…or by risking Dream shifting into something Not Dream Any Longer. (And the absolute Irony of Desire being the one (1) sibling to EVER help, then gets pissed off and antagonizes further. Gee, Desire. I wonder why Dream doesn’t ask and if he asks you he asks you last!)

Or Despair. Who plays games beyond her function, and this aspect of Despair seemingly ignoring her counter-function of Hope, and is a co-conspirator albeit passive co-conspirator in Desire’s torment of Dream in much the same way as a pair of school-aged Mean Girls

Or Destiny. Who so rarely shows that he cares, uses his Book as a Defense Mechanism Excuse in a similar way as Dream does his Pride (and being prickly by-nature but most of his standoffish-ness is honestly a defense against Holding ALL Of Subconscious + His Family’s A Bunch Of Assholes (Too)). And if he does anything “outside his Book” or “finally acts within the Book” …he denies it’s because he cares. It’s to berate for showing up in jeans or someone else leaving their stuff in his room (even when someone else left it)

Or Death. Who had her own Edgelord Phase that lasted for eons before her younger siblings even existed. Who never once actually came to help yet berates Dream for not asking her when he wound up in Serious Trouble…again. (And not by his own fault, unless you want to count fixing a past mistake seriously draining him to the point he could he snared by Desire’s (and Despair’s but mostly Desire’s) Trap.)

…They’re ALL Assholes, Jared!

But only ONE of them is held to a standard none of the rest of them even bother to live to and gets actively punished for it at every turn, even when he tries to reach out, do better. (And yes, Morpheus!Dream has some serious fuckups. But. So do the rest of them. And he’s kinda the only one held accountable for them + some things that really aren’t his fault or are actively traumatic and he doesn’t really have a way to safely recover from without, y’know, affecting the Dreaming and all the dreamers! And it’s not for a lack of trying or continuing to try, despite his natural stubbornness, prickliness, introversion, and avoidance!)

#sandman spoilers #endless siblings #tiger’s roar #…possibly morpheus!dream apologica but fuck it #I was reflecting on WHY I’m so defensive of Dream and. well.#it’s kinda because of how my own family and school environment treated me #for being ‘an angry child’ or ‘back talking’ when. it was always defensive. I never started it. ever.#and. like Dream. what made the difference? people Actively Showing that they loved me and cared #that despite ‘not handling things as well as I should’ I still didn’t deserve THAT #and learning that having Bad Days with my mental health where everything ‘sets me off’ doesn’t make me a bad person #as long as I didn’t. y’know. take it out on anyone #I may be responsible for my own self #but others are responsible for not deliberately trying to hurt me or my trust or my boundaries #I Am Not Responsible for them choosing to hurt or disregard me!#…honestly I wish I could just take morpheus!dream #give him a hug (if he’d allow it). reassure him that being grouchy or depressed etc isn’t a bad thing. it just Is #let him Finally grieve and cry and rage in a place that WON’T flood or raze or affect everyone’s dreams #encourage him that it’s okay to grow and do better #(and fuck anyone who takes advantage of that and his sensitivity)#just. the guy needs therapy!! allowed to feel things without Instant Subconcious And Literal Consoquences!!#think there’s a term in family therapy for Dream: diagnosed problem.#(if I’m remembering Jono’s Terms in CinemaTherapy/MendedLight correctly)#and well. Even When! the Diagnosed Problem is ‘doing better’ things are STILL Fucked Up #because guess what! they weren’t the (only) problem at all!!#and well. him feeling things So Deeply and He DOES Care Actually (but clamping things down into a ‘resting bitch face’)?#WHAT A FUCKING MOOD.

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memryse · 2 years

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So I've just read your Grian and Martyn as narrative foils essay (and it was amazing), and I was wondering if you have any other pairs you find really interesting, based on how their characters complement/contrast with/otherwise parallel each other in some way?

For example I personally find there to be a lot to say about Martyn and Scott, and how they seem similar on the surface and are in some ways, but the way they respond to 'destiny' and the demands of the world are completely opposite to one another (especially in LL), and how that explores willpower – Martyn always following it because he doesn't see defying that as an option (apart from one brief attempt after the fall of the Southlands when he questions the voice, but that never amounts to anything, and he's almost immediately manipulated back under its control), even if it hurts him and even if it causes him to betray others (the Southlands, despite how much he cared for them, and the "after every winter there comes a spring" betrayal plot in Third Life that never took root only because he died beforehand... I'm not sure how far we can consider that, as we only know about it from cc!Martyn, but the seeds of it in Third Life were planted nonetheless) versus Scott being the only one able to defy it because of his conviction in himself and loyalty to his allies in Pearl and Cleo.

Even in Third Life, where those parallels were much less explicit, you still had the contrast between Martyn engaging in the violence the world wanted through following Ren, and Scott standing in opposition to that and just wanting to live a peaceful life with Jimmy, which defies the world's rules in its own way, especially with Jimmy being Red – though the Martyn part is a bit of a stretch I'll admit.

And then in Double Life you have things shaping up in a different way, with Scott and Martyn BOTH not pairing with their soulmates – though with Scott it's by choice and with Martyn it's more circumstance, again left to follow the whims of something other than himself. Also, Scott keeps the bond he forced with Cleo after their meeting, whereas Martyn leaves Pearl.

...anyway, that turned into a sort of analysis on my part, sorry! But yeah, I was curious about whether you had any other pairs of players you viewed as foils, or something else similar.

Thank you! And once again, great meta.

oh this is a very interesting question to entertain me on the train :D and yes i totally agree about scott and martyn, they’re a really interesting pair in terms of willpower. scott is a very active player - not in the sense of going out and getting kills, but in doing what he wants, regardless of the universe’s plans for him. whereas in martyn’s case it’s like that’s what he wants, but he’s always getting caught in someone else’s machinations, or whatever tragedy fate has planned for him next.

as for other pairs… well, not really a pair, but i’d say i’m very interested in the ren-bigb-martyn trio, as i’ve been hinting with my ren bigb posting yesterday 😭 they really do complement each other really well, as well as always seeming to end up involved with one another in some capacity. they’re all wrapped in tragedy and loyalty, or the lack thereof in A Certain Case, BigB. they’re the red army. they’re the shadow alliance: lizzie’s most devoted knight, cleo’s best friend turned betrayer, and the one who betrayed the southlands for them. and now they are two soulbounds and the root cause of the messy scott-pearl-cleo-martyn split. i for one can’t wait to see how they end up killing cleo this time!

also. ok not to martynpost AGAIN (i don’t even post about him that much regularly but by god does he make for interesting framing when writing about traffic stuff so i have many many thoughts) but martyn and impulse!!!! make me froth at the mouth!!!!!!!!!! ok so in 3rd life. as i have already said many times. martyn is The loyal guy. that’s his thing. and impulse is… not. he’s the secret girlfriend who nobody knows who he’s actually allied with. trusted by no one. and ultimately, he’s stabbed in the back himself for a clock. last life, they’re allies, and when you measure all of that up against everything grian does in that series, it’s… yeah. martyn is hurt and betrayed by grian killing jimmy and mumbo. he very much was also betraying the southlands himself, yes, but their ghosts haunt his conscience anyway. and ultimately, he wanted nothing more than for them to be together in the afterlife. his entire character motivation is the southlands, be it betraying them or his underlying deep loyalty to them. but impulse? he’s more loyal than any of them at first! he’s helpful, he truly cares about all of them. he shares martyn’s concern about grian having the wither, though, and ends up lying to grian about one of the skulls. but… in the end, he chooses to stay by grian’s side until the end, siding with him despite everything he did to the southlands. i think impulse in LL just wanted to be loved, to be useful, more than anything, regardless of the cost to his morals or the overall state of his alliances. as long as he had someone.

Ok this would have been longer but uh i spent my entire half an hour train ride answering this and now i have to Do Things (go to pride) lollll

#ask #mae analyses

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best-of-brassbox · 2 years

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hi :) In one of your previous asks, you mentioned that curio's dangerousness is part of their appeal to link. Could you talk more about how that is?

Is it a thrill kind of thing? I'm wondering if it means he wants to find a kind of goodness beyond that danger - to deny or subvert it... or, does he 'respect' it so to speak, and intend to somehow coexist with curio's maligned self? Or smth else.

Thanks for sharing your writing - it's a joy to read. Take care :)

Ooh this is a good question, this is juicy.

The way I'm writing Link, it's somewhat based on my own playthrough experience. Extrapolating from my emotions "in character" as Link, I was left with an impression of a young man who was torn in two directions. There was the joy of discovery, the thrill of rising to meet challenges in shrines and in combat, a good-hearted impulse to help others with even their mundane issues, to see everything that could be seen. Then, there was the insistent tug of destiny and obligation, that demanded I complete everything as fast as possible. The drudgery of Link's recovered memories, which shamble on weakly to their inevitable conclusion (total failure) and the burden of carrying the regrets of the dead. I found it hard to connect with the Champions, but easy to embrace the vivacious cast (even minor characters) in Hyrule's dilapidated present. Fundamentally, his desire to live life on his own terms and also meet the expectations of his fate are incompatible.

Structurally, from a game writing standpoint, I think that it's really hard to have your cake and eat it too--which is to say, the game invites you to take your time, but the narrative demands quick resolution. You can either disengage from the story and just have fun, and the narrative loses its weight and urgency... or, as an in-character Link, just ignore 80% of the world and its inhabitants to fulfill your destiny and save Zelda and soothe the spirits of your friends. I found this tug of war stressful during my one and only playthrough, half a decade ago... and I've baked my experience of *being* Link into my characterization of him.

Link in my story is at a crossroads. There's two paths that lay ahead of him, and a different partner to walk them with along each. Zelda represents the inherent relief of serving, and having an authority figure dictate your actions. That's not inherently a bad thing. When life is grim and complicated, there are times we all want to just be told by someone what the right thing to do is, yeah? With Zelda, Link can surrender control, live up to his pretty destiny, be honorable, be a figurehead, a symbol. She's safety and certainty and a chain around his neck, tugging him on. Romantically, she's all purity and innocence, courtly love and nervous glances. Slow, steadiness, carefulness.

Wildcard Curio, on the other hand, is that desire to live life on your own terms. Though the reader lends their support to Link unrestrainedly, their intentions are veiled, their methods are questionable, and their abilities are frightening. There's a sense of gears spinning, an unknown agenda being sought out, the open declaration of enmity against Zelda, the repeated disdain for a system that Link would previously have considered above even the concept of reproach or reform. Curio represents rebellion against the imposition of order, an open embrace of one's desires. The place at Curio's side is one where Link might grow beyond his confines for his betterment, or else be corrupted by the bitterness of Curio's grudge. It's a safe place to express weakness, doubt, insecurity, because Curio doesn't expect perfection of him, and actively shies away from open reference to his role. Curio might have become interested in Link because of his connection to the past and his great destiny, but it's Link the *man* that captivates Curio, not Link the Hero. Curio is attractive in the way a vampire or werewolf partner is attractive. Being with Curio is thrilling and exciting because there's no guarantee of safety, and Link has always revelled in that sort of danger, but beyond that? If Link came to them and wanted to run away from everything, Curio would pack the bags. Without judgement or resentment for his abandoning the quest. Curio is uniquely threatening to both Link's worldview and restrained sense of selfhood. Romantically, they're all carnal indulgence and domestic care, a lowering of barriers that has proven difficult for both of them. It's not easy the way it is with Zelda. There are no clear roles or well-defined borders, lacking the stable power imbalance of a princess and knight couple. Instead, it's something of an active struggle, with little surrenders on both sides. It's messy but visceral. There's more room for hurt, but more room for growth. Growth on both sides, because Curio is changing as much as Link is.

TL;DR, there's a game of contrasts afoot. Zelda represents safety and control, embracing one's role in life, a slow and steady romance, courtly love in an ironclad framework. Curio is all mystery and danger, rebelling against order, self-redefinement and change--maybe for the better, but maybe not--with a big heaping helping of sex, comfort, and indulgence to blunt the knife's edge.

The fun thing is, in a vacuum, Zelda and Curio have really quite a lot in common. That's part of why Link is attracted to both of them. But they were both dealt certain hands in life that placed them at opposite ends of a spectrum. The gulf between may well be insurmountable.

That's without getting into morality, and who is wrong and who is right, etc. I hope to make something of a reasonable case for Curio's viewpoints, even if you decry their methods. We'll get into it more as we go, haha

Re: denial, subversion, respect, and coexistence with Curio's, uh, tendencies, he's mostly just seeking to understand at this point. You might say the jury is out rn. But meanwhile, the court is a cozy place in a threatening world, the prosecution is absent, and the defense attorneys are smoking hot, and the defendant is giving him free gear.

Things are gonna really heat up when Zelda returns...

Sorry if there's grammar errors, I'm on mobile huhu

#Loz #breath of the wild #loz:botw #headcanon #botw fanfiction #feedback

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fr-martin-gospel-reflections · 6 months

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19th November - ‘I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent’, Reflection on the readings for the Thirty Third Sunday in Ordinary Time (Mt 25:14-30)

Thirty Third Sunday in Ordinary Time

When we hear the word ‘talent’, we think in terms of natural abilities that people have. In Jesus’ day, a talent was a very large sum of money. One talent was the equivalent of several year’s wages for someone. The man in the parable is clearly a very wealthy person if he could divide up eight talents between three of his servants, giving five to one servant, two to another and one to the third. He was also a generous person. He didn’t expect to get these large sums of money back. He just wanted his servants to make good use of this extremely generous gift. He knew the abilities of the three servants. He gave the most money, five talents, to the most able, and the least money, one talent, to the least able, and he gave two talents to the servant who stood between the two other servants in terms of ability. He trusted all three servants with great resources and he wanted them to make the most of what they had been given.

The first two servants used what they had been given well. They each doubled the sum of money they had received. However, the third servant did nothing with what he had received. He buried the money in the ground. He was just as capable of doubling what he had been given as the other two servants, turning the one talent into two. However, he was held back by fear of his master, thinking of him as a very demanding person who had no time for failure. He forgot that his master was a generous man who was prepared to trust him with great resources and who only wanted him to make the most of what he had been given.

Jesus may be reminding us in this parable just how generous God has been with all of us. God has given us the greatest treasure he could give us, his own Son, out of love for us. In the words of Saint John’s gospel, God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that we may have eternal life. If God gave us his greatest treasure, his only Son, Jesus also gave us his greatest treasure, his own life, out of love for us. Jesus says, ‘No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’. Jesus laid down his life for us on the hill of Calvary. He also rose from the dead for us, and he promised to be with us always as risen Lord until the end of time. If God gave us the treasure of his Son, and Jesus gave us the treasure of his life and of his living presence for all time, together God and his Son then gave us the greatest shared gift they could give us, the Holy Spirit. As Saint Paul reminds us in his letters, God poured the Spirit of his Son, the Holy Spirit, into our hearts, crying ‘Abba, Father’. Through the Holy Spirit, we come to share in Jesus’ own relationship with God, calling God, ‘Father’, as Jesus does. God the Father and Jesus his Son have gifted us in a way that far exceeds how the wealthy man in the parable gifted his servants. Because of all that God and his Son have done for us, each of us is a son or daughter of God, a brother or sister of Jesus and a temple of the Holy Spirit. Each of us is destined to share the life of God, the Father, Son and Spirit, in the kingdom of heaven. As we journey towards this eternal destiny God provides for us in many different ways, giving us the word of God, the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, the company of Mary and the saints, and all those believers throughout the world who journey with us.

How do we respond to God’s generous love, expressed in all these gifts? We certainly don’t respond with fear, like the third servant in the gospel reading. In our ordinary human relationships, we don’t fear those who love us. Even the greatest of human loves is only a pale reflection of the perfect love of God. Saint John says in his first letter, ‘There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts our fear’. God’s perfect love casts out fear. The responsorial psalm declares blessed those who fear the Lord. However, ‘fear of the Lord’ here is not the emotion of fear. It is a sense of reverence in God’s presence, recognizing that God is so much greater than we are, including greater in love. Because God loves us with a perfect love, we can take a risk with what God has given us, the treasure of the gospel, the treasure of the faith. We can work to share the gift of our faith with others, without the fear of failure hanging over us. As Mother Teresa once said, the Lord does not ask us to be successful but only to be faithful. We do our best to entrust to others the spiritual treasure we have been given, knowing that the Lord looks lovingly on our efforts and will work powerfully through them, even when they seem to us to be a failure.

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nightswithkookmin · 2 years

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Their relationship seems to be poisoned with libertinism, as pure as it may seem at times. I have always felt as if they are beyond the barriers of adolescence to believe in sickly cloying concepts as true love and destiny, and can never be the kind to risk the career that they've devoted their lives to, can they? Dalliances like this occur in Asia as well, therefore it's not exactly a foreign concept to even the most conservative countries and their people. Besides, anyone can take a look at Jimin and can tell that he is a bloody sex kitten, and has that Brigette Bardot sex symbol, coquettish kind of effect which lures men and women in, like remember the Taemin-Jimin bleachers scène, like everyone knows they were flirting. Besides, see, in this way, Jungkook didn't have to risk his career and found a pretty paramour in his friend just to release his libido... but it's just the untamed lust for the fleshly pleasures, he is not in love with him, if he were, he wouldn't be practically sexting (or more like having video sex) with his hormonal female fans at the hours of darkness, arousing (no, like FEEDING it down their pharynx) their fantasies and neither would Jimin be displaying his promiscuousness to the world. Jimin should keep his paws off Jungkook, both should, actually, off each other. They are corrupted, and oh, by the way, Jungkook even listens to Cigarettes After Corruption, wonder if he reminisces Jimin whilst listening to them... Highly not! It's always Lalisa, the true lover. 🖤

Lalisa who??

The true lover...

Dracula is that you??

Dude I think you take this vampire business too seriously lose the fangs and the fake eye contacts c'mon!

Did several spit takes in between but in the end it gave me nothing but an anticlimatic shock wave which I must say is very disappointing. Had high hopes for you given how overly verbose and unnecessarily wordy this piece is.

Jimin is sexy Jungkook is a flirt ergo jungkook dont love Jimin but somehow he loves Lalisa is what you are saying?? Naa can't be, you smarter than this. Give me something not this cheap out of logic logical fallacy. Surely you can do better.

And I'm sorry but doesn't it follow the same logic then that if Jungkook is so shamelessly indiscriminately horny for Jimin then he is not horny for this Lalisa?? Perhaps because he doesn't find this Lalisa sexually attractive??

And if he doesn't love Jimin because he sex texts random unknown faces in his fandom, then surely he doesn't love Lalisa either. Surely Lalisa must be appalled by this conduct as well to see her bf flirt with Jimin and fans with no respect for their relationship. Someone needs to love herself and demand better from her BF.

And "true love" is overrated- at least the concept of it- really because there's no difference between that and platonic love💀

If he ain't banging you you are his friend and no different from his mother. Jungkook is not asexual. Neither is Jimin. Sex fulfills them just as much as love or money or fame. Stop with this medieval way of thinking about relationships and quit being a prude.

You seem to be self soothing when you say these things. Does it give you comfort to place less value on sexual attraction and more value on this vague concept of true love?

What is this true love you speak of?

Commitment? Protection? Provision? Loyalty? Affection? Care? Desire?? Reverence? Honor? Respect? If so then what Jikook have is true love and lizkook is a figment of your imagination.

Love is not a true emotion. It's a word we use to communicate a combination of other tangible feelings.

When people say they love others what they mean is, they have an emotional connection with them, or have a sexual attraction to them, or have a desire to be loyal and faithful to them, have a desire to commit to being a life companion to them, have a desire to make kids with them, or share their life with them, provide for them, a desire to protect them, be there for them.

Love is a very tangible emotion.

You should pay me for this but most people confuse their needs for love. They assume they love others when others fulfill a specific need in them. They grow attached to what the other person does for them. That's not love. That's codependency.

Only Jikook can explain what love means to them. In my opinion it's not difficult to ascertain what love means to someone like Jungkook with all his angst. If it's fake love it must at least be sexual, I want to lift up my partner and kiss them in that position at least once- sex plays an important role to him and it's one of the ways he expresses love and intimacy.

I'm holding on to something. Won't let go of you for nothing- to him love is about commitment and loyalty too. I should do a jikook love language pt2.

I digress.

Glad we can agree Jikook have the hots for eachother and Oh boy do they drill eachother's buttholes woof. Clutching your pearls yet??

Jimin gives Jungkook orgasms your Lalisa can never give him in his wildest dreams😭

Since Jungkook has a man why don't you ship your Lalisa with me. I'm single- well not at the moment but soon. My ex who is now my fwb gave me the cleanest bath ive ever had a few nights ago and blew my back out. If I knew she was this kinky we wouldn't have broken up in the first 😩

But still there's a lot we can do with this Lalisa. Hell I'll take her to the orgy I'm organizing for Jikook. I'll do Jimin, run my pumpum all over his face while Jungkook claps her cheeks. It's a win win. Since I hate cooking she can make us all something after while the rest of Army have their way with Jikook😊

Please tell her to love herself. She deserves a man who finds her sexually attractive to the point they won't look at other girls twice or very attractive men and someone who won't flirt with horny teenagers on the internet with a backdrop of a naked het couple copulating in the background.

Jikook shud stay away from eachother but really they don't want to so leave them alone. They are adults who decide whom to love and fuck. Jimin can love whomever he wants, fuck Jungkook for all I care- I just want him to cuddle me and lick my clitoris with his tongue whew. That thing can do damage if you know you know! Oh he can clap my cheeks too. It's called manifesting look it up.

And if I find out you are talking about Lisa from Blackpink I SWEAR TO GOD.

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sunsents · 3 years

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Empty - F.W (1/2)

Gah daym this was a JOURNEY to write. I swore to myself to never write angst because, well I suck at it. But here we are, I swear this has a good ending because my heart can't bear that. I could've written this much better, so I promise to bring my A GAME for chapter 2. Enjoy, also Lee in this is a hate crime. This is very story telling-esk so I hope it flows well.

I wouldn't have written this chapter without the help of my good friend @mochiixjimin she helped me edit and spice up this whole thing so thank you so much to her! She's an amazing writer, go check out her work and show her some big love right now or else!! her wattpad

Chapter 1 out of 2 (Backstory)

Summary —> Life has always been a cruel joke to you, yet you simply play along. Overshadowed by Eva Burke your whole life, watching from the sidelines while everyone flooded each other with love, it would always feel like a joke.

Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader

Word count: 6.1k

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST (with a fluffy ending in the second part) / One mature scene (18+) and then it's angst again <3 / Some slander / Offensive language

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

You were a bright child.

Beaming bright enough to keep a tight lipped smile during flu-shots, and enough to put on a happy façade when your dad threw away the drawing you had done of your family dog, rather than hang it up on the fridge.

Children have foolish dreams, and that was yours. Your friends in preschool boasted about their pictures being hung like trophies on fridges, with decorative magnets and even bigger pink bow ties.

The fridge in the Y/L/N manor was empty. Always empty, just how Ms. Y/L/N liked it. Empty marble floors with empty rug designs, and empty rooms with even emptier people living in it. They were both empty people. Hollow and void of any emotion, at least towards you.

You were different though. You were filled to the brim with ambition and hope and so many positive emotions that your parents never seemed to reflect on you. You were like those Disney princesses. The princesses always had hope, and when you have hope good things happen.

Right?

Your dad never meant to give you false hope. He just wished you’d keep your mouth shut as he worked until late hours. Using big words and having big aspirations, you shouldn’t have.

Mr and Mrs Y/L/N weren't bad people per say, just busy. They didn't know how to raise a child, this was obvious, because the purpose of even having a child was to fix their marriage. But a temporary fix wouldn't do it, it never did. There was always that hole on the roof, leaking rain of despair into their falsely built home that no bucket big enough could hold back. Because it always found a way to overflow.

They didn't know how to show their love, so they did it with money, clothes, toys and crayons that you would later use to draw pictures of your family, only to have them end up in the dumpster once again.

They spoiled you rotten, bought you gifts you never even dreamed of asking. You just shut up and enjoyed it, what else could you do? Whine and demand attention? Risk losing their favor? There was no favor to lose.

You got yourself a fat A plus on your third grade math test. Star stickers on your chest, you entered through the glass double doors of your house with a crooked smile - two front teeth missing of course - making your joy all the more endearing. Your backpack strapped tightly over your narrow shoulders, hanging low with all the crammed books you pushed before leaving school because you were just so excited to show your parents.

You received a big sloppy kiss from your Nanny, who practically was like a second mom to you, and dashed right into your fathers office to show him your new accomplishment.

"Good job, I'm proud of you."

You froze. You found a way to actually get their attention. The attention you so craved, the recognition you would die for. This was revolutionary. Basically a new era for you.

Nanny made you a star shaped cake that night, and sat with you while gently stroking your hair and listening to you blabber about how easy the math questions were. It felt warm, motherly love. Even if it was false, it would never compare to the love of your own mother, a love you would never get.

You spent all your night studying, your eyes burning under the harsh light of your lamp in the early mornings and your pencil, ebbing away over sheets and sheets of blank paper. Writing away your little hands off until they ached, just to snatch another A and get a good job.

This was good, it worked out very well. You became that student who looked forward to class, just to get a good grade and have the validation of your parents. The sight of your father’s lips quirk up even in the slightest, and how your mother’s eyes shone briefly in appreciation of your hard work, even if it was for a quick second, it was worth it.

Until the new neighbors moved in.

Mr. Burke was a round, cheerful man with an even rounder belly, and a big fat pipe that always hung on his lips. Mrs Burke looked and acted like those fairy godmothers you adored. You couldn’t believe such people existed. Mr Y/L/N invited them over for dinner, for courtesy. He was not happy about said courtesy.

He ended up liking the couple, they had a little daughter called Eva, who was small and adorable with round red cheeks and big doe eyes. Not only Mr and Mrs Burke, but the Y/L/N’s adored Eva as well. She was happy, always smiling, and her teeth weren't nearly as crooked as yours, not to mention she had pretty long hair like a princess.

You liked her a lot, took her to pick flowers, showed her the drawings you had prepared for the empty fridge; in case Mr Y/L/N ever had a change of heart and hung them up, you had been trying for three years and weren't giving up any sooner.

Eva was nice, kind enough to share her M&M's and very used to compliments unlike you. She seemed to get a lot from her parents and yours. The adults were so kind to her, always smothering her with love and kisses. You were happy for Eva, happy that Eva somehow managed to gain the favor of your parents before you did.

Little girls tended to be jealous, you weren’t. You were just glad to have a friend so cool, she didn't blush and stutter under praise and apparently her drawings were pretty enough to go on a fridge.

It was a Thursday afternoon when your mom smiled at you for the first time since your last exam grade. "Look, Eva drew us a picture, isn't it pretty?"

The crayola stash under your bed was no longer needed, they appeared clumsily dumped in the neighborhood trash the next day, most of them stomped under the pressure of your little sneakers. And the bundle of drawings you hid under your pillow, wishing on fairy godmother that one day they would be hung up too, were ripped; clearly a struggle given. You had paper cuts on your hands, and your Nanny thankfully applied ointment before Ms and Mr Y/L/N noticed, or rather, stopped to care.

Though you knew that even if you paraded herself with bloody fingers dripping to your elbows, they wouldn't care.

Nanny did, she was there. There when you were haunted with nightmares when the moon was particularly dark, cooing at you and letting you sleep next to her in that small bed of hers. There when you tripped and fell, small scratch resulting in a screaming tantrum. She was gentle, sweet, paid well.

You decided to go and pick flowers with Eva, and make a pretty flower crown for yourself, months after your drawing incident. Of course, you didn't have such silly dreams anymore. You didn’t wish to have your pictures hung, to have your mother wear the flower crowns you made and frankly you didn’t care for the sight of the sparkle in your parents eyes. Nanny’s was enough.

Eva agreed, dressed in a pink tutu Mrs Y/L/N gifted. You didn't comment, though deep down you gazed at the skirt in sparkling envy. Your mother never bothered to get you such pretty things. The two of you gathered saturated petals and nice ribbons while giggling amongst yourselves. Until, you accidentally caused Eva’s flowers to levitate.

Eva ran home, crying and calling you a witch. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N’s dirty looks made her feel shameful, and even dirtier when a letter addressed to her was dropped by a pretty owl you insisted on petting. It was from a school called Hogwarts, in the faraway land of London, and it seemed, not only you but Eva got the same letter the next day.

Though the Y/L/N’s and Burke’s were proud of Eva’s letter. They weren’t with yours.

— — — —

The ride to Hogwarts was interesting to say the least. You had so many questions unanswered, were you a fairy godmother too? Was that your destiny? Was that the reason you never got any attention, because you were destined to give instead of receive?

Eva was cheerful as always, making fast friends in newly bought uniforms and holding a pretty, long and thin wand, with designs flowing across the premise. Your wand was...functional. You were sad you couldn't choose, and that the wand chose the owner. It didn't make sense, what if you didn't want this wand? What if you wanted something charming like Eva’s? It should have been mutual.

It was while trying to find your way to the bathroom that you met the Weasley twins. Quite handsome, a year older and absolute fucktards. A word you learned from the two. Though you always found yourself laughing more at Fred’s jokes, you liked them both equally.

“Hey George! Look.” Fred had exclaimed, clinging onto his brothers shoulder and dragging him across. “Who's that girl?”

You introduced yourself, happy façade on, gentle words slipping out of your mouth like nectar. They had to like you, you told yourself. Just this once, more than Eva.

When sorted into Gryffindor, Eva, you and the twins became inseparable. Your group grew in second year, when Katie, Lee and Alicia Spinnet joined the bunch. You would make fun of the ghastly Potions Professor Snape, and imitate Dumbledore in the hallways to mess with the older students.

You loved your time at Hogwarts, and the adventures that came every year. Especially when Harry Potter joined.

“Hey Fred.”

Fred, who was fiddling with his bracelet you had bought him hummed in response, not bothering to look up.

You sighed, “Do you think the flowers can feel it when we pluck them?”

Fred turned at that, his bracelet was now tightly secure after his struggles. “I hope not.” he smiled, a faraway look on his face whenever he gazed at you. “You know, some people like pain.” he winked.

You merely looked at him confused, clearly way too young for...whatever that is.

He started laughing loudly, slapping his knee and causing you to scoff and slap him on the shoulder.

Third year was when it bloomed. The slight girly attention you gave Fred grew. Fred was...Fred. A handsome ginger, beater for their house's Quidditch team, always charming and charismatic that somehow oozed out of him whenever he did anything really. It was not unusual, every girl in school had a crush on him. That wasn't the case, Fred was one of your best friends, and you refused to entertain the idea of a possible...relationship.

Yet sometimes, you'd find yourself thinking about hugging and kissing Fred like you’d seen couples in your favorite movies did and you’d fall asleep with reddened cheeks and a boy with even redder hair in your mind.

But feelings couldn’t be controlled, nor easily hidden. Eva found out in your fourth year after hearing you mumble his name in your dreams. Fred Weasley was getting more handsome as years passed, and you found it hard to contain your feelings. You were crushing, hard.

Eva was...Eva about it. Happy, but nothing changed. She didn't tease like George did when he found out, nor did she act any differently towards Fred.

“Hey ____!” Fred had sat next to you, shaking the entire couch because he grew that tall during summer. “Got a new girl after me.” he looked at you, almost expectantly, as if you wouldn’t react the way you always reacted.

“That’s great Fred.” you smiled, gulping whatever lump that was forming in your throat and struggling to come out as vulgar words you wished to yell.

“Yeah,” Fred sighed, “It’s...great.”

Fred Weasley was a ladies man, and he wasn't afraid to show it. It was okay, because you were happy enough to be one of his closest, and that was enough. He often boasted about getting girls, and how successful his jokes were, and you always loved snapping back to him cockily, even more cockily than him. Playful banter was easy, comforting between them and when he turned away you would love to shyly entertain the idea of being one of those girl’s Fred talked about.

Fifth year, you had a sudden growth spurt. That was also the year where you discovered Cosmopolitan, Vogue and of course Witch Weekly. Hair no longer in a ponytail, legs shaved and smooth, short skirts with no nylons, you were a new person. After getting your period in third year, your spurt came late, but sudden. Way too sudden in the time of three months. It was hard to handle the changes occurring to your body. It was all too much that you had to become a lady and the fact that you didn’t have your mother to help was a pain you hid deep within.

It was as if whichever god above decided to squeeze your entire life into a summer and call it a day, because it was simply too busy. How ironic. No one saw your growth except old Nanny Gladys. Not Eva, nor her parents considering they went on a getaway and the Burke's, who had gone to Brazil.

But you were over that, you discovered the great telephone, and the great Hermione Granger, package deal with Ginny Weasley. You guys would talk on the phone for hours upon hours, Ginny obscuring your personality and Hermione altering your view on your parents. And Hermione was right, they were assholes. You didn't give a flying fuck about empty praises anymore.

You had become almost too tall for your older clothes, and your breasts were way too big to fit in the training bra you bought not even a month ago. Your hips, now wide and swaying as you walk became graceful, were decorated with long gem bracelets.

You cursed like a sailor that summer, ran around fields with family - your family being your dog, Jambo - bare feet. You stomped on flowers you used to pick as a little girl, stomping on those silly fairytale dreams you used to nurse, and never felt freer. For the first time ever you felt that maybe being empty could be more freeing than having false hope weighing you down.

Returning to Hogwarts was a big deal to students. Who changed, who glowed up after what happened last year - nothing, it was all childish drama.

Before your parents could even see your new self, your escapade to the Granger household was successful. The Y/L/N's didn't care, nor did they write. You knew it should’ve hurt, but frankly, you didn’t think having the pain in your chest was worth it. Hermione was awestruck, of course, after laying her sights on you for the first time since May and insisted on walking into the Entrance Hall, arm in arm with her and Ginny to show you off like some sort of revelation.

It was a revelation all right, at least to the boys, and some girls. It seemed no one saw you as a girl before. George oogled, and Lee was so shocked to find out that you were actually a girl with a pretty figure and an even prettier smile that he stopped clapping you on the back like he always did. Not a girl, you have become a woman. It was far too sudden, new uniforms and a whole new wardrobe had to be bought.

"____? You were a girl?" Fred joked, ruffling your hair like nothing changed between you. And that's when you realized, no slutty skirt, how much pushup your bra, or no matter how pretty your hair looked, Fred would always see you as ____, the girl with crooked front teeth and who once ate a worm in second year. Your teeth weren't crooked at all anymore - thanks to a few years of braces - and finally clear of uncomfortable metals but you felt as if Fred would always see the ghost of them on your pearly whites when you smiled.

He had this view of you that blinded him, caused him to treat you as he treated Ginny while he flirted and played footsie with other girls, including Eva.

That did not stop Eva from giving you false hope, and you took the bait, naive like always. Hope, that's what ruined it all. "You're beautiful now, of course you have a chance!" she said, rubbing your shoulder reassuringly, as if she had warmth to begin with.

It was all false, yet you still believed. You always had. Like a fool.

Ginny didn't like Eva, and maybe that's why you gravitated towards her. She was the first person who had ever met Eva that wasn't charmed by her kind smile and attractive words. Eva was...displeased. She grew up having the attention of everyone around, so when Ginny Weasley told her straight to her face that she wasn't shit, Eva seethed. The attention of Ginny changed nothing though, because Eva was the main character. Everyone - except Ginny, and secretly Hermione (though she would never say it) - loved her, they followed her around like puppies and praised her on her wonky wand work.

The upcoming Yule Ball brought great upswing to Hogwarts.

You were far too busy with her classes to take interest in the tournament - even though the dragon race was the gnarliest sight you had ever seen. Your goal was set, become a badass Auror and move out as soon as possible, so you didn't have to face your parents (except Holidays, yuck.)

But the Yule Ball was your chance. A chance with Fred Weasley.

You could ask to go as friends and maybe, just maybe a little hope and the night would end much more romantic than you had anticipated.

Plucking up courage was the hardest part, you practiced with your bathroom mirror so long that Ginny had to blast through the door and drag you out of her dormitory.

Fred Weasley agreed, why wouldn't he? You, his closest friend, asking to go as a group and drink all night while gossiping? It was a win win. At least that's what you told herself.

That was a lie, it wasn't a win win.

You gave it your all getting ready, dress silk, makeup and expensive shoes. You took a long shower, scrubbing and shaving yourself to a smooth gliding porcelain, only for it all to be washed down with reddened eyes and a boy with even redder hair.

Fred greeted you the same, danced the same, and you chatted the same; you were reminded again, for the second time, that you stood no chance.

Fred told you that he was going to get drinks, a quick trip to the booth and mumbled I'll be back in a second. He was not back in a second. Several minutes passed, and your worries caused your feet to follow after Fred's footsteps.

You ran, trying to find him in the empty corridors of Hogwarts, tears welling in your eyes because he wouldn't. He wasn't that cruel, life wasn't that cruel.

But it was, and in a distant empty classroom you saw Fred Weasley, on his knees and between Eva's legs, groaning and praising her like a starved man. Worshipping her like everyone else had, burying himself in her and completely forgetting the drink he’d bring back in just a second. He’d left you thirsty and alone in the Great Hall and left you to drink from a cup he hadn’t known to be forbidden. Yet Eva did.

Eva's perfect dainty hands tangled in his ginger hair, thighs clamping shut while her high pitched moans flooded your mind and echoed around your head. They were so loud that she couldn’t even hear the loud echoes of your footsteps and the woeful cries that left your lips as you ran. It wouldn’t be the first time she had ignored your pain for her own selfish reasons.

Your heart shattered, and suddenly you were six again, watching your parents praise Eva, hang her drawing on the fridge. A soft breeze tickling your bare toes, dangling from the small cushioned seat you sat on while you watched Eva braid Mrs Y/L/N’s hair. Emotionless, silent, not asking for anything, knowing that you won't receive in return. Eva's small hands carefully placed the flower crown on Mrs Y/L/N’s pool of hair, and she smiled, heart warming and hopeful. Suddenly you remembered the feel of your own hands tangling in between your locks as you stood on your tiptoes, trying to imitate your mothers braid on yourself in the mirror you couldn't reach. You pretended, only for a moment before it twisted into knots.

What a cruel joke, you thought as you watched Eva receive the world from Fred, from your parents, from your friends and from every damn person you had met.

You cried on a big set of stairs that night, your wails echoing as you asked whoever, whatever what you had done. What you had done to deserve such treatment from the people around you. It was rather cliche - and maybe a bit too dramatic. It was an uncomfortable seat of course, and your body, as well as your heart, ached. Pain, misery, false hope and enough hair spray to melt the ozone.

The princesses always cried on big sets of stairs, uncomfortable stone floors causing them to shiver while they hid away their beautifully animated faces in their perfect hands. This was different, there was no fairy godmother to fix your makeup and clone a gentlemanly Fred Weasley, a perfect prince. You knew, because you cried, and prayed and cried and prayed until your throat was sore. There was no fairy godmother, it was all a lie. There was no happy ending. There would be none.

No one came to find you that night either, and you had to drag yourself back to the Gryffindor common room, feet bare, mascara, blush - anything else you put on in hopes of being able to become like Eva even only for one night - practically nonexistent from the way your tears washed them away.

You didn't sleep that night, and your head was unusually clear, pounding, but clear. You laid awake, eyes blood-shot and stinging while your dress shuffled uncomfortably between your sheets. You were too tired to change, and your dress was far too pretty to be worn so short.

Ginny's words replayed over and over again. "They're not worth it." her voice was so clear, and true. Mr and Mrs Burke weren't worth it. Your parents weren't worth it. Fred Weasley wasn't worth it. Eva wasn't worth it. The midnight chirping of bugs invited themselves in from your open window, and blue moonlight streaks beaming down in lines from the tulle curtain flowed with breeze, it was calming.

You felt calm, for the first time in sixteen years. You felt calm.

Fred and Eva started dating that week. Everyone acted like they expected it, and you realized just how blind you had been. Eva Burke and Fred Weasley, golden couple of Hogwarts.

You watched them, emotionless, as they embraced with love and so much passion that you felt embarrassed. Embarrassed at how you’d blushed and squeal over Fred in front of Eva and George and anyone who had found out because now you knew. Now you knew that their amused smiles were probably pitying grimaces because they knew that you two were never meant to be. It was always Fred and Eva.

Fred was an amazing boyfriend, making sure Eva was taken care of, lovingly staring at her whenever and wherever, arm looped around her waist at all times; you realized they were truly not worth it.

"You disgust me."

You didn't mean the words to escape so carelessly, but when you said them, you realized you didn't want to take them back. The growing pit in your stomach felt weightless. "Excuse me?" said Fred, stopping his nibbling on Eva's neck, who was just as shocked. You scoffed, Eva already had enough purple bruises to parade around so why did Fred have the need to add more?

"You heard me right," George, Lee, Ron, Harry, Katie and whoever sitting in their circle stared at you, wide-eyed, Ginny and Hermione, however, were grinning devilishly. Kind ____, wouldn't hurt a fly, quiet at times and didn't know how to stand up for herself. It was shocking, but you were done pretending. You didn't want to be like that anymore, you wanted to say whatever came to mind and not worry about the consequences. "You guys disgust me, I know I should be supportive but you don't match, at all."

You turned to George. "And you, no you can't talk about Katie like that." George went pink. "You're disgusting for sleeping around carelessly and telling girls you'd write, stop giving people false hope. Grow up. You’re nearly an adult and you can’t even treat a girl right."

"And you Lee," Lee went quiet. "What gives you the right to make fun of me like that. I'll wear whatever the fuck I want, just because you don't have the courage to wear a headband. If you can talk about my breasts, I'll talk about your shrimp."

"Ron, you take advantage of Hermione then lead her on. Open your eyes, asshole."

"Harry, you're not the main character. You're not always going to be the center of attention, nor do you have the right to yell at your friends."

"Alicia, god you're so stupid. I'm sorry, you're great but such an airhead. No, you can't ride a Thestral if you can't see them, and stop eating quill ink they're bad for you."

You stood up, grinning proudly, heart loud in your chest you feared someone might hear. "Frankly, I don't wanna be friends anymore. I'm done with this façade, except you two, 'Gin, Hermione. The rest of you are just so fake." she gestured to them. "Boys," she nodded again. "Don't talk to me anymore, and Lee, give me back the money, think it's about time don't you think? I've been paying for you since third year."

And with that, you left. You left Three Broomsticks, grin wide and chest heaving. Hermione and Ginny ran behind, whooping and cheering you on as they laughed.

The news of your outburst spread fast like wildfire caught in wind. That week was bliss, you no longer had to watch Fred and Eva, nor did you have to act sweet to anyone. You didn't have to laugh along Lee's sexist jokes and look away to wince, it was pure bliss. You realized that the feeling of being free didn’t have to be momentary.

Pansy Parkinson was surprisingly a good friend, she didn't have the same fakeness to her, the one Eva had where her smile was too kind. She spoke her mind, though every Slytherin did, and you liked that. Ginny wasn't happy with your new found friends, but she couldn't separate you. You made your own decisions from now on. It was refreshing.

You told your new friends everything, eager to get it off your chest and breathe, and they listened. For the first time, someone listened. You didn't have to get good grades, nor did you have to act like a sweet angel.

You teared up the first time Pansy said; "It's not your fault,". You knew it wasn't your fault, but hearing someone else say it with such genuine eyes made you believe. Actually believe.

It started off with you watching from the sidelines as Draco and Blaise pranked, insulted and shamed whatever your old friend group did. It wasn't unusual for Draco to act this way, but he got especially irritated after hearing what you told them. Blaise, someone usually quiet, had stepped up and decided to somehow release the pent up anger he had for the Gryffindor students.

The year ended, and you had started to sneak in an insult or two towards Fred and Eva. It felt nice, like finally, step by step you were clearing your years of hidden jealousy. But, there was no one to tell you that this simply wasn't the right way.

That summer, you stayed at the Burrow. Ginny had invited you and you were quick to say yes; obviously a fact forgotten. Fred, George and whoever you had insulted last year stayed in the same house. You simply didn't want to go home, and if this meant seeing Fred Weasley then you had to endure it.

Molly Weasley was the sweetest person you could ever meet, and it was genuine. It felt genuine, you feared your teeth might rot if the woman got another word in. Molly greeted you as if you were her own daughter she hadn't seen in years. You felt valued, seen.

Until Eva was there, Fred invited her. You had to watch the only person you were able to love, introduce the only person he was able to love to his mother. It wasn't you. It would never be you.

And you realized, even after everything, Eva had once again found a way to be more loved than you.

The grin Molly broke out was nothing short of beautiful, and you couldn't help but smile as well. The smile wasn't directed towards you of course, and you sat on that small kitchen chair, celebrating a relationship that caused your ruin.

Eva didn't care that your friendship was over, nothing budged in her life. She still got the same attention, still received the same love from Fred. The same affection, the same attention and the same everything. Or so it seemed.

Though unlike Eva, Fred merely watched you with sad eyes.

You stayed clear of the couple and the rest. You hung out with Ginny and Hermione only, ignoring the dirty looks Ron and Harry gave you. The secret, whispered insults Eva threw your way. George didn't say anything, but he didn't object either. This was enough to show how he felt. At this point you really didn't care. Why would you, when they didn’t either?

You held your head high just like Ginny and Hermione told you to, and you spoke in a loud and clear tone whenever asked something. Eva didn't, she stuttered when you spoke to her directly. Her words scrambled against each other when she tried to voice her insults in louder statements than a whisper. For the first time, you felt relief. You felt intimidating, protected by the barriers you had built around yourself.

Longest day of summer hit, and it boiled. Tanning became a distant dream, you would bake in this weather, and you were thankful to the big AC box you had brought from home. You couldn't sleep that night, sweat beads falling down your forehead that was already covered in a thin sheen. You had decided to get a cold glass of water, not sure how you ended up face to face with Fred Weasley. His wand tip shone with blue light, and his freckles were much darker because of the sun. It seemed the sun decided to be cruel to Fred Weasley back and wash Fred over with it's deathly heat. He was sunburnt, this was an understatement. He was burnt.

You couldn't help but start laughing when you met, ignoring the proximity, ignoring the sleeping house, dead silent and a big leap from the lively Burrow, ignoring Fred's soft breaths he let out every other second. You couldn't live off on false hope anymore.

Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore, and your face quickly fell. You took a big step back and inhaled, ready to ignore him like you had been doing for the past year. But Fred Weasley was a persistent man, and he gripped your arm and looked at you with determined, doe-like eyes. "Tell me what I did wrong." he said, adamant on fixing this, whatever this was. You both didn't know.

You stood silent.

"Please flower,"

"Don't call me that." you said, stern and gaze sharp. Fred didn't react, he kept on insisting.

"Please, tell me how to fix this. I can fix it," he pleaded, a plethora of empty promises fell out of his lips like nothing. He lied like it was nothing, he was oblivious to everything he and everyone around them had put you through. It was infuriating.

You didn't say anything. You knew he would not fix anything but maybe staying silent would give him the false hope that spinned mockingly in your head for the past eighteen years.

"I'm sorry, just please. I can fix this, I promise, don't be like that." empty tears fell down from his eyes. He looked empty, tired. They lacked the charm they usually shined with and you wondered if it was only you that caused such dullness. Eye bags prominent that you never noticed before. It all felt like a lie, a cruel joke.

Fred Weasley was simply a cruel joke. His presence could only be compared to a shot of whiskey, especially when you down it like how Hagrid nurses a Firewhiskey filled pint glass. You never know how it will hit you. But in the end, you'd always find yourself curled next to the toilet, crying your eyes out because your headache was simply too much.

He was sobbing now, hanging onto your waist like you would simply vanish and you let him. The grip he had on was like steel vice - almost concerning - but you didn't touch him, didn't say anything. You just let him be, like he did to you. Allowed him to hopelessly hang off you before you would eventually leave him alone, like he did to you. "Where did I go wrong? How could we end up like this? What went wrong?"

‘You’, but your voice couldn’t be found.

Questions were useless when the answer was already right in front of his eyes. You didn’t let a single tear fall, you wouldn't forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.

You blinked, and that night was over. Summer continued on like nothing happened, like it didn't leave you heart broken and in such shame yet again. You continued on ignoring Fred as he looked at you with sorrowful eyes. Looked at you more, with more than he did his own girlfriend.

You blinked and the school year started again with another terror looming around the corner. There was simply no need to keep up anymore, because school was easy. You attended classes, got good grades, a few scar here and there from Umbridge's torture chamber, a woman who stood at a whopping five foot three yet still teriffied an entire school.

You blinked and you had already become a proud member of Draco's insult the Gryffindor's club. You didn't even feel bad, being horrible to the people you hated for years felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn't go as far as physically hurting any of your old friends, but coming up with damaging insults was such fun. A lot more fun than sitting around with a fake smile.

You blinked, and you were already moving out from your childhood house. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N were unusually happy, this was a given. They would have a new empty room and make another office, like they didn't have enough already. You feared they would start getting rid of bathrooms once too into their work, and they would have to do their business in bushes or buckets. Scratch that, you didn't fear that, it would be fucking hilarious.

You blinked, and when had time passed too quickly? Where did all those empty childhood years had gone? You were already graduating, on your way to become an Auror. You had lost contact with all your old friends now, regretfully Ginny and Hermione too.

The war had hit too quickly, luckily you survived, so did your friends. Unluckily, it left you with a nasty scar right across your left brow. It looked sick, but the hit wasn't worth it. It hurt like a bitch. You could see, it was a close call but vision wasn't an issue. The trauma though, god did Bellatrix's breath smell bad.

When it was all over, you had seen Fred hugging his family tightly. It seemed the Weasley's all survived, and you gave them each tight lipped smiles while holding a bunched up rag to your head to stop the blood gushing out. This wasn't the reunion you wanted to have with Ginny, but hey, you take what you can get after a revolutionary Wizarding war you barely made out alive.

Before a franticly running Fred could reach you though, you apparated to your flat in Diagon Alley, ignoring the thrumming of your heart, and how you practiced in front of a mirror to congratulate their successful joke shop that morning.

#angst #hp angst #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #weasley twins #fred weasley angst #fred weasley smut #fred weasley series #reader insert #harry potter fluff #harry potter fic #fred weasley imagine

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testudoaubrei-blog · 3 years

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“I’m loyal, that’s my whole thing.” - Scorpia, Season 4 Episode 6, Princess Scorpia

“Everything they taught us in the Horde about loyalty is meaningless” - Lonnie, Season 4 Episode 5, Protocol

Rewatching Season 4, I just finished Princess Scorpia. This is an episode that has always stuck with me, especially the A plot of Scorpia realizing how badly Catra has treated her and everyone else and deciding to leave. One thing I’ve been thinking about since I finished the series, though, is what this episode is telling us on a larger level. Looking beyond the character arcs and more at this show’s larger themes and message. Because this show is very much a show that says things, made by people who believe them. That earnestness and depth is one reason I keep coming back to it.

In the pull-quote above, and throughout the episode and before it, Scorpia defines herself in terms of loyalty. It is her identity - as she says, that’s what Scorpions do, they’re loyal. Her actions for three and a half seasons bear this out. When she first shows up, she tries to position herself as Catra’s new best friend, the one who won’t leave her and will stick by her no matter what. And that’s what she does, until this episode. She sticks by Catra through Catra’s increasingly villainous plots and erratic behavior. But she doesn’t just stick around. Until the portal, she barely contradicts Catra, and even afterwards, does so only furtively and immediately backs away as soon as Catra pushes back. For more than a year of show time, Scorpia has not just stood by Catra, or supported her, she’s actively assisted her in her most villainous and destructive acts. Scorpia is fighting by Catra’s side, eagerly carrying out her orders, and doing her utmost to see that Catra succeeds. But her loyalty goes beyond this practical help. Because for all that Catra loudly declares that she doesn’t need a new best friend, she consistently seeks out connection throughout the show, even when she’s at her most isolated in season 4. She needs moral support, and connection, and to know that she isn’t alone. Scorpia provides that, and keeps Catra going. Though Scropia isn’t initiating Catra’s various misdeeds, she’s assisting and supporting Catra throughout. On a personal, psychological level, the only word that seems adequate for this is ‘ennabling’ - Scorpia, sweet as she is, is Catra’s enabler. We see in the next few episodes what happens when Catra doesn’t have Scorpia’s support - she breaks down, and realizes that her actions really do have consequences, and that the affection she took for granted for so many years is something she can’t live without. But as long as Scorpia’s still around, Catra can’t make that realization.

Now I’m not going to say that Scorpia is morally culpable for Catra’s own actions. She’s not. Catra is solely responsible for her various betrayals, manipulations, violent outbursts and assorted murder attempts against...most of the rest of the cast (though being raised by Shadow Weaver sure as shit is a mitigating factor). But while Catra is obviously being a bad friend to Scorpia throughout, Scorpia isn’t actually being as supportive or helpful to Catra as she thinks, because Catra doesn’t actually need unconditional support, she needs people to be honest with her and express to her how she’s hurting them. She needs people who will stand up for themselves just as she needs to take responsibility for her own actions. This is part of why she and Adora have such a healthy dynamic in season 5 - Adora doesn’t take her crap, and Catra takes responsibility for her crap.

However, Scorpia -is- responsible for her own actions. And as I said above, she’s been with Catra every step of the way as Catra has attacked just about everyone and made war on Etheria. On a larger, political level, Scorpia is a willing participant in upholding the Horde’s oppressive system, and executing a war of aggression and colonization against innocent people. Speaking of colonization, perversely, she’s loyal to the very organization that dispossessed her and literally stole her birthright, then discarded it like a useless trinket when it was no longer useful to them. No one ever suggests ‘why don’t we let Scorpia connect with ~her runestone~’ until Glimmer does (and Glimmer’s motivations and arguments aren’t exactly forthright). Scorpia’s loyalty makes her an accomplice in her own oppression (like a bunch of the themes in this show there’s some interesting post-colonial stuff that the show doesn’t fully explore, probably because Noelle and the crew felt self-conscious about telling a post colonial story, or just didn’t know where to go with it). Interestingly, Scorpia’s loyalty to the Horde here parallels her loyalty to Catra, which has made her completely disregard her own wellbeing, which is the most obvious take away from the episode.

But I would argue that everything above shows that for Scorpia loyalty has been a way of avoiding developing her own moral compass. Scorpia repeatedly shoves aside questions of right or wrong in favor of being loyal to her friends and to the Horde. Loyalty has made Scorpia not only willing to accept her own mistreatment, but to willingly mistreat others, and to keep herself from asking any hard questions about what she’s doing or why. This is despite the fact that Scorpia is, by inclination, an incredibly gentle, kind and compassionate person. She’s willing to silence the best parts of her nature out of loyalty to Catra and the Horde. In the end, she also commits acts of violence and perpetuates the oppression of Etheria. And this is so insightful, because we see this sort of thing in our world all the time. So many oppressive institutions depend upon the loyalty of their members to keep them ‘just following orders’; so many abusive systems depend upon loyalty to stifle dissent and silence potential whistleblowers before they even speak. We see this in some of the most oppressive institutions and the worst scandals in our own society, and looking back through human history we see it in some of our nation’s and our species' most infamous crimes.

And when we look at the Horde as a system that Hordak has built in imitation of his elder brother’s empire, we see just how central loyalty is an ethos. Hordak himself is motivated entirely by loyalty to Prime - being a former clone, he spends the entire series not fully capable of accepting himself as an autonomous being (even when he acts like one and enjoys it, there’s some fucked up religious shit there that I won’t get into). He seems to have instilled this in his followers. The Horde Trio, Catra and Scorpia all hold loyalty as one of their highest values. Catra clings to it as her biggest accusation against Adora - that she was disloyal, as expressed in Catra’s perception that Adora broke her promise and abandoned her. Loyalty keeps the Horde Trio together and fighting for the Horde, and Scorpia with Catra. I think we can read between the lines and say the Horde runs on loyalty (as well as fear) and this is a very insightful portrayal of oppressive military and paramilitary institutions like armies of conquest and occupation and other instruments of state violence.

There’s another, related way of looking at how a sole reliance on loyalty as a moral framework has stunted Scorpia’s moral growth, and I think that brings together both the ways that it makes Scorpia willing to accept her mistreatment and participate in the mistreatment of others. Namely, loyalty in the Horde style isn’t just sticking with someone or something, but subsuming your own will into theirs. Following orders. Supporting your friend in what they do no matter what. Whatever you call it, it’s about turning off your own self - your self preservation, your self respect, your conscience, whatever other things you value - and just going along with what the person or institution you are loyal to wants you to do. And this is where Horde loyalty goes full circle, back to its origin - Horde Prime, the narcissistic self-made god who wishes to control or destroy everything that is not himself. Loyalty as Hordak conceived of it and as the Horde believes in it is a reflection of Prime's absolute control over all his domain.

In a way, self-determination is one of this show’s highest values (together with love). It’s at the heart of Adora’s 5-season, 3 year struggle to become her own woman and her own hero as she shrugs off one imposed destiny and then another and finally embraces what she wants. In a more negative form, it’s at the heart of Catra’s arc, as she finally accepts responsibility for her own actions and their consequences and starts working to make a world that she actually wants to live in, as well as admit to herself that what she really wants is love. And I could go on. This self-determination is existentially, obviously threatened by Prime chipping people, but it is also stunted by horde-style loyalty that demands unquestioning support and obedience.

Both the Horde Trio and Scorpia reject the Horde’s ideal of loyalty and walk away, but I think it’s interesting how they do it. Neither rejects loyalty entirely (not on the way Adora does) - the Trio, realistically, remain loyal to each other and simply walk away and walk out of the war (this might save their lives), joining the other disillusioned cynics in the Crimson Wastes. They reject loyalty to the horde and embrace a more supportive and respectful form of loyalty to each other. Scorpia leaves, but she actually comes to her crisis and makes her decision out of loyalty, and because it’s clear that her loyalty isn’t returned. The immediate situation - loyalty to Emily and Entrapta’s memory on one hand and Catra’s orders on the others - creates the conflict between loyalties that forces Scorpia to actually make her own choice rather than deferring to Catra. But she also reflects how Catra betrayed her loyalty to Entrapta, and thus how all of her friends’ loyalty to Catra is not returned.This is another point about horde-style loyalty - it’s one way - Hordak or Catra will demand your loyalty, but they feel no obligation to return it, which reflects Prime’s view of every other being in the universe as disposable. It’s only when she’s with the Princesses that Scorpia starts to find a new moral center, though sticking up for and protecting her friends remains important to her. In neither case, though, are these kinds of loyalty coming at the cost of either the Trio or Scorpia’s autonomy or ability to make moral choices of their own. In the very next episode, she says she wants to 'be A good friend' which is how the Princesses typically describe sticking together, which is a much more active and holistic concept than 'loyalty'. Scorpia confesses that she doesn't even know how, but she wants to learn and thinks the princesses can teach her.

There's another interesting counterexample to Horde Loyalty. Adora repeatedly breaks with the people around her to do what is right. First she leaves the Horde, then walks away from Catra by stages when it is clear that Catra is going to continue to harm other people and Etheria. Then she walks away from Glimmer, defies Light Hope and breaks loyalty with her supposed destiny and purposes as well as loyalty to the homelans she has never known. By season 5, Adora is loyal only to herself and the people she cares about, but she isn't constraining her will to anyone else's. For all that she seems like a rule follower Adora has a rebellious streak a mile wide, and she will do what is right, no matter what. This is what allows her to save the universe 3 times.

So the show’s argument is that loyalty is not a good moral framework to base all of our actions around. I don’t think it goes so far as saying that loyalty has no place in our ethics (being a good friend, which is such a huge part of the show, certainly includes loyalty, especially sticking with people when the going gets tough), but the show stresses time and again that being loyal to something or someone shouldn’t make you disregard yourself and what you think is right. Because it’s only by living out our own values and taking responsibility for our own actions that we can come into our own as moral beings. Moreover, if we insist on maintaining loyalty to institutions that oppress us and others, we can’t dismantle the systems of oppression that are holding us and other people down. (Yes, this is a pretty radical message, but I suspect that Noelle is some kind of anarchist? Anyway, it’s a thing.)

Okay, so that’s what I, a 35 year old, get from this kids show. I think it’s also worth pointing out that this lesson applies to younger viewers too, in their most immediate lives. Younger viewers will have had friends who didn’t treat them well, or might not have treated other people well, and who might have pressured them into participating in the mistreatment of others (this is kind of how bullying works a lot of the time). I think it’s important that younger viewers see how being a good friend never means disrespecting yourself or other people and it means a lot to me that She-Ra shows this in such a nuanced and realistic way.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #spop #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #meta #analysis #scorpia

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horde-princess · 3 years

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jesus/adora meta pwease 👉👈😳

okayokay ive been thinking about this for a long time and the reason ive never written about it is because like. its so BIG. i like to think of adora’s character as a reflection of noelle’s experiences as a former christian, and there is still so much to dive into with that- however i do agree there’s another more abstract layer to adora’s story that challenges some bigger theological ideas. this is probably about to sound wild lksjljfdf i’ll try my best to explain my thought process just disclaimer that it will not make any sense 😌 when do my metas ever make sense tbh. U KNOW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME BYE

Parallel 1: There’s at least one jesus/adora parallel that’s undeniable and that’s the whole ancient prophesied messiah thing. this wasn’t in the original motu lore so you know it was added for a reason.

Parallel 2: Adora was raised by shadow weaver and light hope to be a willing sacrificial lamb.. the isaac to their abrahams. her faith in god (aka her allegiance to the horde / first ones) demanded that she sacrifice herself to save the world.

i think these 2 parallels provide sufficient evidence to move on with this analysis but later i wanna mention some of the more specific details bc they are super interesting! but yeah for now--there was clearly some theme going on here about subverting the story of jesus... adora was given a divine destiny to save etheria, but save it from what? and why does it matter?

She-Ra criticizes the penal substitutionary atonement theory

what the fuck is that right lsdfdkj I WARNED YOU THIS WAS GONNA BE ABOUT THEOLOGY

ok basically. evangelical christians like to say that jesus died to save us from our sins, but what they actually believe is that jesus died in our place to save us from god’s wrath. that’s an important difference. let me uhh put it another way

god defined sin (as disobeying him), created humans to be inherently sinful, decided he would punish us for the way he made everything.. then sent jesus to save us (from his own unjust anger?? as if it’s an act of mercy lmao)

in a similar way, horde prime defined sin as disobedience, then decided he should kill everyone for it. but he is a 1D villain for the purposes of the show right so instead of prime sending adora as a savior, it’s light hope who sends her. a lil confusing but its all part of the same story light hope is just another metaphor for religion. so far adoras story = jesus.

AND THEN THIS IS THE GENIUS PART--as we know adora’s destiny was never light hope sending her to the world, that was all a lie... her true powers, her true “destiny” came from being chosen BY the world.

!!!!!!! THERE IS. so much here. the whole christian narrative is flipped. writing the next part in italics because its important lkdfjldj

in christianity, a good god sends a savior from heaven to redeem an evil world. in she-ra, it’s an inherently good world that chooses it’s own human hero to save it from an evil god.

which (finally) brings us back to how she-ra criticizes the evangelicals atonement theory. because humanity doesn’t deserve god’s wrath any more than the etherians deserved prime’s wrath. condemning people for disobeying arbitrary rules (e.g. “believe jesus is the only path to life”) makes no sense. however..... if disobedience is not a sin, that means there is no need for atonement. no need for atonement = no savior. no sacrifice.

tl;dr she-ra compares jesus--a deity sent from heaven as a sacrifice--to adora, a human chosen by the world itself, who avoided that same sacrifice. to me this is a rejection of the idea that humanity needs a divine savior. and beyond that, a rejection of the specific evangelical theory that we needed him to die in our place because we are sinful.

Resurrection through love instead of faith

ok that was a lot lsdkjfld but.. to shift gears a little..... the fact that adora’s sacrifice was unnecessary isn’t as important as how the sacrifice was avoided.

i said before that god defined sin as disobedience but in practice that just means having any personal desire that exists outside of him. shadow weaver and light hope tell adora that in order to follow her destiny she has to “let go” of her friends... as if they’re mutually exclusive, her desires and faith cannot coincide, she must choose between them. its a reflection of the same kind of black & white ultimatums you hear in church. this is how the show was able to frame adora’s love for catra as sinful without explicitly stating it.

when adora ignores her mentors guidance and kisses catra..... first we all cried ldkfj but also. she is committing the ultimate “sin” !! she’s giving into her desires so, according to the dichotomy set up by sw and lh, she’s also rejecting her destiny/faith by default.

but then... it’s this sin that actually saves adora’s life, whereas faith would’ve led to her death. wait hold on i [goes outside and screams]

so jesus and adora followed very similar destinies right. jesus spends his life rejecting his personal desires, dies for god, and god resurrects him for his obedience. but adora LIVES and its BECAUSE she embraces her earthly desires, leaving behind the religious idea that rejecting your desires leads to salvation.... which is once again the opposite of jesus. like jesus died to save an evil world from sin, but in contrast adora reclaimed her “sin” as something good and it saved her from death, it saved her from needing resurrection at all !!!!! at least, not from god. maybe catra’s kiss symbolizes a different kind of resurrection, one inspired by love instead of faith. new life that isnt earned through sacrifice but given freely (as christians like to claim god’s grace is).

THAT IS SO LDKJFLDFJDDF and this entire time i havent even MENTIONED the fact that this is all in relation to LESBIAN love and LESBIAN desires which is obviously the point of the show and why these themes hit so hard. but even when you take away the lgbt aspect, she-ra still holds up as a fantastic criticism of evangelical theology.

........ 🙂 ok i think my brain is broken jdjdjsj why did i write this

#why did you READ this... you rly saw the words ''penal substitutionary atonement'' and just kept going huh! i am terrified of you!!!!!#jk ily thx for reading <3 pls dont ask me to explain any of this tho #religious meta

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bamfdaddio · 3 years

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X-Men Abridged: 1981

The X-Men, those back-to-the-future mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 141 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Brent Anderson, Dave Cockrum, Jim Sherman, Bob McLeod and Josef Rubinstein

While I also committed various fashion atrocities at the age of 14 (tye-die and fauxhawks, oh my), even Liberace would find Kitty’s outfits too much. (Uncanny X-Men 149; Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘81)

We dial back from the v. epic scope of the last few arcs. Instead, 1981 is just a lot of fun! We get:

Storm and Emma doing a Freaky Friday!

the X-Men vs. Magneto (again!)

A surprisingly effective Alien rip-off

An dystopian future! (OoOoOoOo)

Last year was the year of the Dark Phoenix, this is the year of Kitty Pryde. That’s not to say Jean’s death is swept under the rug: all throughout, we see her friends mourning her loss or remembering her fondly. (Scott even gets to have a demonic adventure about it.) But in general, Claremont puts Kitty in the forefront, fleshing out his YA-addition to the team. And what would a YA heroine be without a grim dystopia? Roll out the iconic Days of Future Past!

To be fair, 2013 was a dark time for all of us: What Does the Fox Say somehow got to the top of the charts and I was still watching Glee. (Uncanny X-Men 141)

How cool would it have been to see a name like Jonothon Starsmore or Eva Bell on those tombstones?

Anyway, that’s Kate. Kate’s had it rough. Mutants are at the bottom of the foodchain, most X-Men are dead and only a small cadre of resistance fighters remain, Sentinels dominate, and while she is married to Piotr, her children have been murdered. Bleak. Luckily, the rebellion has concocted the plan to shunt Kate’s spirit back in time to prevent this awful future from happening. (You’ve seen Days of Future Past, the last passably good X-Men film, you know what’s up.)

Let’s do the time warp again! 1981!Kitty’s mind gets taken over by 2013!Kitty, who promptly tries to convince the X-Men that a new Brotherhood of v. Evil Mutants will try to kill Senator Kelly, a presidential candidate who tries to put the mutant menace on the agenda. (Mutants tend to blow stuff up when he’s around.) Since the X-Men recently took a literal trip to Dante’s Infero and also befriended a cosmic world-ending entity, they basically shrug and go: “Yeah, this checks out.”

Off to Washington they go (zoommm) and there, they happen upon the Baddest Bitches in Herstory:

“How dare you hate mutants, senator Kelly! We’ll fix that by killing you!” (Uncanny X-Men 141)

This All-New, All-Different Brotherhood consists out of:

Destiny, a blind woman who can see the future. Definitely the eeriest member of this group. Badass lesbian, though that won´t be canon for years.

Avalanche. Greek who makes things shake. Is a long-standing member of the X-Men Rogue’s gallery, but rarely features in the spotlight. I think he got more characterization in four years of X-Men Evolution than he ever did in the comics.

Mystique. Shapeshifter. Ruthless and unhinged, the Cersei Lannister of the X-Men universe. Absolute legend, secretly the wife of Destiny, currently not as unhinged as she’ll be later. Immediately implied to be related to Nightcrawler: it’s the yellow-eyes-blue-skin-combo.

Pyro. Can manipulate fire, not create it. Absolute pillock, in all the best ways of the word. Originally intended as gay, but they decided to make him Australian instead. (?!)

Blob. Big, strong, immovable. We’ve seen him before.

One of the details in this fight I enjoy is that Storm is still struggling with her leadership, although she has a better grip on things than Cyclops:

Wolverine then proceeds to use those iconic but deadly claws about twice per issue for the next, oh, forty years. (Uncanny X-Men 142)

While the X-Men fight the Brotherhood in the present, we cut back and forth to the future. There, the X-Men consist out of some familiar faces - Storm, Colossus, Wolverine - and some surprises: Magneto (in a wheelchair), Franklin Richards (son of) and an unfamiliar ginger girl called Rachel. (She’ll be important later.) We even learn (one of) Magneto’s names: this is the first time he’s canonically called Magnus.

One of the strengths of Days of Future Past lies in its brevity, the way it tantalizingly taunts us with a brutal but familiar future without giving away too much. It’s single-handedly responsible for all those dark future timelines the X-lines are so fond of which will eventually culminate in time-displaced grandsons from alternative dimensions and the impossibility of a succinct answer to the question: “Who’s Cable?” Too much of a good thing and all that.

Still, what Days of Future Past does so successfully is:

Put the idea of the mutant menace back at the forefront, hammering home the metaphor of mutants being a minority. Mutants being put in camps and being forbidden to breed should - regretfully - make us think of all too many real life equivalents. (Specifically, all of the imagery harkens back to the Holocaust.)

It starkly shows what happens should the X-Men lose, reminding everyone of the stakes. The X-Men are here for a reason: bridging the gap between mutants and humankind. If they fuck up, we end up with mutant concentration camps.

It helps that the X-Men in the future almost all die horribly: Franklin is incinerated, Storm is impaled… It's brutal stuff. The only one to survive is Rachel, who wonders if their plan actually changed the future or if they created an alternative timeline. (It did the latter, sorry ‘bout it, Rachel.)

In the present, Kate chases after Destiny, who trains a gun on senator Kelly. I always wondered how this works: if Destiny saw the future, she knew that killing Kelly would trigger a terrifying future. What in the current Marvel timeline made her decide that the Days of Future Past was better? Did she see her own death? Did she see the Onslaught-crossover coming? The Chuck Austen run? What was it?

In any case, time-anomalous Kate stops Destiny from killing Kelly and the future is safe! For now. Kate disappears, Kitty returns to her body and some of the Brotherhood are apprehended. All is well, for now.

After being a key figure in DoFP, Kitty is also the main character in the Christmas special, which is basically a straight up horror and a pastiche of the Alien-movie.

Seriously, John Byrne still isn’t sure why he wasn’t sued by Ridley Scott for this. (Uncanny X-Men 143)

If you love Kitty Pryde? Read this issue. If you’re not convinced you like 80’s Kitty? Read this issue. It’s not continuity relevant and it’s basically Kitty playing the part of a Final Girl in a horror where she’s being chased by a demon, but it’s so good. It showcases all her strengths and her foibles. Kitty’s intelligent, cute (sometimes preciously so) and brave, but she’s also young, self-conscious and hot-headed. And it's not as if the other X-Men automatically adore her: Storm berates her all the time, she’s afraid of Kurt because of the way he looks (though she grows out of that) and she fights with Professor Xavier a lot. Moreover, she has a clever power-set for a young superhero who faces menaces on a daily basis: a thirteen year old who can go intangible is far less likely to have reality ensue on her and be dramatically offed because she's better at protecting herself.

I’m sure there are people who thought Sprite was hogging the spotlight, but I, for one, say she brings more to the table than, say, Angel. She’s not the Dawn Summers of this franchise.

Scott also gets a side quest. Poor guy can’t catch a break: first the love of his life dies, so he quits the X-Men, then he realizes he can’t do much else than be a superhero. He becomes a sailor on the ship of spunky captain Lee Forrester, is drawn into the sadistic plans of a demon unironically named D’Spayre and then shipwrecks in Bermuda with Lee.

The X-Men, meanwhile, are tormented by a team-up of Doom (who’s currently Latverialess and working on a comeback) and Arcade, that annoying crony. Locke, Arcade’s dom, has kidnapped the loved ones of the X-Men (Moira MacTaggart, Jean Grey’s parents, Illyana Rasputin and Amanda Sefton) in order to blackmail them into getting Doom to free Arcade. Apparently, Arcade accidentally insulted Doom and DOOM DOES NOT FORGIVE THAT FOLLY.

While the B-Squad (Polaris, Havok, Banshee and Iceman) goes to save Arcade’s hostages, the X-Men sneak into Doom’s castle. Well, except for Storm, who doesn’t give a single fuck and simply flies up to Doom, demanding an audience. Doom likes the cut of her jib and invites her to have dinner. (This is pre-Tinder, so this is a legit way of scoring a date.)

If Storm has a flaw (I said if!), it’s got to be her atrocious taste in men. (Uncanny X-Men 145)

The X-Men find Arcade’s cell empty, while Arcade casually saunters up to Storm and says hi. Storm realizes too late that this is a trap: while the X-Men are all trapped in Saw-like traps, Storm is encased in ‘living chrome’.

If you remember she’s claustrophobic, you know why this is a bad move.

While the X-Men free themselves from their traps - Polaris hilariously has to deal with a murderous merry-go-round - Storm is slowly driven mad in her prison, triggering a worldwide tempest. (She causes Lee and Scott to shipwreck.) Under the threat of Wolverine’s claws, Doom releases Storm - or rather, unleashes her.

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!” (Uncanny X-Men 147)

The memory of Jean brings Ororo back to herself and she starts undoing the superstorm she created. (If only climate change were reversed that easily.) Their confrontation ends by Storm easily forgiving Doom, because she apparently trespassed on his grounds without adequate cause.

Mkay.

All of Arcade’s hostages return to their homesteads, except for Illyana Rasputin, Piotr’s sister: she’s staying at the mansion for a while. Angel, who’s sort of been a part of the team since the Phoenix thing, has had it with Wolverine and his ‘tude, and decides to quit the X-Men : he doesn’t want to be a part of an outfit that has a killer like Wolverine on it. (Or maybe he’s just mad Claremont didn’t give him any storylines: his presence has been mostly pointless.) It’s too bad he left before Kitty started experimenting with her outfits: I bet he would have loved her ugly-ass costumes.

Equally inconsequential is the introduction of a brand new character, who then proceeds to disappear from the narrative for the rest of the year:

Black Tom has tried to kill you at least twice, but him sending you a long-lost daughter doesn’t give you pause? Ugh, Sean, you deserve Moira. (Uncanny X-Men 148)

Intrigued by Theresa? TOO BAD, WON’T SEE HER AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.

Another new character is the lonely, decidedly mutant looking Caliban, who can sense “people like him” and is on the lookout for companions. Like many lonely people who try and grasp at friendship, he decides to overshoot his shot and ruin the night of Storm, Kitty and Jessica Drew at a Dazzler concert. Because he tries to kidnap Kitty, the girls react a trifle aggressively. When they realize their mistake - the eerily pale Caliban is a simpleton rather than a menace - he’s already fled. No mention is made of the Morlocks yet!

There’s also another dull annual where the X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four to save Arkon’s dimension from the Badoon and yaaaaawn. Far more interesting is the landmark issue #150. Slowly, through the adventures of Scott and Lee Forrester, Claremont has been setting things up for the return of a favorite villain. While the X-Men investigate Magneto’s old base in Antarctica on a hunch of Professor X and tangle with Garruk, Scott and Lee survive Storm’s tempest, only to wake up next to a strange island that seems to have been raised from the ocean.

It’s apparently some ancient citadel from a long forgotten civilization with a fondness for squid statues. (I don’t know man, I’ve never been to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe this is just super-accurate.)The tentacles make Lee Forrester feel very amorous, but before Scott can tell her he is way too repressed to just have sex with an attractive someone he’s known intimately for a month or two, Magneto saves his ass by revealing he, in fact, raised this island from the seafloor.

Oh, Magneto. So extra.

My ambitious little mutant demagogue then proceeds to take the entire world hostage, showing how much he’s grown from the pompous, raving madman from the sixties. (Sure, Magneto is still a bit of a madman, but increasingly, he starts being on the right side of history.)

“I’m trying to make Magneto more sympathetic.”

“Just put him on a page with some bigger villains who are less noble, like the Vanisher, Count Nefaria, or…”

“Reagan, Thatcher and Brezhnov?”

“Er.” (Uncanny X-Men 150)

It’s obvious Magneto is being pivoted as a more noble villain, codified into the well-intentioned extremist we know and love today. Not only do we get the first hints at his past, fleshing out his motivations, he’s also not wrong. Humans are historically not great at taking care of the planet or each other.

When the Russians call his bluff and launch nukes at Magneto’s new island, he quickly disarms them. His retribution is swift and ferocious: the entire citadel is a machine that massively amplifies his powers. He sinks the submarine that launched the missiles, condemning the entire crew to death, and he casually erects a vulcano in a Russian city in Siberia.

Damn. Not messing around this time.

Despite his good intentions, Magneto is still definitely in the wrong: not only because of his methods, but as Scott points out: if Magneto unifies the world under his kind of benevolent dictatorship, all of that will simply fall apart as soon as Magnus dies.

In a way, Magneto is just as big a dreamer as Charles is: Charles believes in peace and integration, whereas Magneto believes his iron fist will be enough to make a perfect world happen. Both of them ignore the reality that acceptance is difficult and messy, because you’re trying to change essential human nature: the fear of the other. Magneto believes in big, sweeping gestures that will fix the world in move, while changing the world is also boring, hard work. One step forward, two steps back. Magneto just wants to leapfrog to his ultimate goal.

The X-Men fly over the citadel, returning from Antarctica, and their plane crashes into the ocean. (Magneto does not brook planes over his territory, humans!) The Professor is also nearby, looking for Scott with Moira, Peter Corbeau and Carol Danvers. The X-Men sneak onto the island, but to their horror, their powers are nullified by some machine of Magneto. They reunite with Scott, who formulates a plan to thwart the would-be ruler of the world.

While the rest of the X-Men go to trash the machine, Storm, Kitty and Lee infiltrate the control chamber where Storm finds a sleeping, shirtless Magneto. Once again showing her terrible taste in men, she is not weak in the knees at the sight of a sleeping Magnus: instead, she contemplates killing him.

Storm knows how dangerous he is, but she also knows that he’s a great man who’s fighting for ideals, no matter how misguided. She hesitates too long: Magneto stirs, suspects an attack and tosses her out of the window, to her death.

Magneto quickly undoes the sabotage the other X-Men have wrought to his machine. A fight erupts. Storm, meanwhile, has managed to grab hold of a ledge. She crawls back up and smashes an important-looking computer, restoring everyone’s powers.

The battle turns grim, but Scott sends Kitty away to wreck Magneto’s machinery. She sneaks off, following Scott’s orders and destroying both Magneto's power-up device and all of his plans by phasing though the computer circuitry. Magneto senses this and furiously gives chase. Overcome by rage, he attacks Kitty and disrupts her phasing power with a magnetic bolt, seemingly killing her?

Everything about this story beat is great: mama bear!Ororo, mournful Magnus and even the fact that Kitty’s godawful outfit serves a narrative function: highlighting to us (and Magneto) just how young she is. The fact that Kitty’s Jewish is just icing on the cake. (Uncanny X-Men 150)

And thus, the softening of Magneto commences. 1981 might be a year with wildly varying narratives, but it has given us at least three enduring legacies to the X-Mythos: a new kind of Magneto, a fondness for dystopian futures and the character of Kitty Pryde, who's really come into her own this year.

Ugliest Costume: Kitty! Purposefully, but still. Best costume, by the way, goes to Destiny, with her creepy, creepy golden mask. Just imagine this lady casually strolling across a battlefield, eerily calm and collected, dodging everything you throw at her. Awesome design.

Best new character: I usually pick one character - what good is having a shared award when declaring the best of anything? - but this year, it’s going to one of my favorite couples: Mystique and Destiny. Can’t wait to see more of them.

Most audacious retcon: Blob somehow retroactively becomes a member of the original Brotherhood, which is not what happened. Ever weirder is Xavier pondering that he never met Magneto before his attack in X-Men #1, while their cordially adversarial relationship rooted in a youthful friendship would soon become a cornerstone of the X-Men.

What to read: Uncanny X-Men 141 - 143 and 150 - 152

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helioleti · 3 years

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I've been rewatching ATLA several times lately and this time I especially ended up wondering a lot about Iroh and Ozai's past and characters in general. I just can't help but think it weird that Ozai is the ultimate trashbag of a humanbeing while Iroh ended up preaching harmony and peace. It just doesn't make any sense. These guys are brothers. They were brought up by the same parents, in the same fascist imperialistic nation, they were taught the same values growing up. You're trying to tell me the difference is that Iroh was destined to be the person he eventually came to be, but Ozai was just born evil? No, I don't think so.

I have two hot takes that I'm gonna elaborate:

1. Iroh had a guidance Ozai lacked

2. Ozai was the less favored son

(Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics yet so I don't know how deep they've already gone into this subject at some point. I'm trying to interpret and analyze the stuff that I got from the animated series only. If anything I say contradicts what has already been confirmed in the comics, feel free to correct me.)

Hear me out. Iroh wasn't born a saint. Everyone is aware of this, especially Iroh himself. He laid siege to Ba Sing Se for 2 years, costing the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom thousands of lives. Everyone knew that if the Fire Nation took over the capital, it meant almost ultimate victory for the Fire Nation. He even went as far as making a offhand sadistic jokes about burning the city to the ground in that letter to Zuko and Azula.

Iroh acknowledges it himself; He was a different man.

So what changed?

Yes, his son died. It broke and shattered him from the inside, making him drop all efforts to continue fighting in the war. To continue what had been his lifelong ambition, what he believed to be his destiny. He had a literal vision about taking over Ba Sing Se when he was a child, and that had been what he'd been pursuing ever since. But the death of his son managed to crumble all of that into nothingness. How is that possible?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's completely valid. I just don't understand how Lu Ten and Iroh could've had such a loving and caring relationship in the first place, when that's clearly something unusual among the royal family. Ozai burned and banished Zuko without a second thought, not to mention all the other shit he did to him growing up. Ozai didn't give two shits about Azula either, he only ever intended to use her as his weapon. Doesn't seem too surprising, if you ask me. Azulon didn't hesitate to demand that Ozai kill his own son if he wanted the throne. That's the man that raised Ozai, so it's just logical that Ozai learned that behavior and those values from his own father.

Even 9 year old Azula thinks it laughable that Iroh would fall apart at the death of his son. She is a child and this is how she thinks. The reason Zuko doesn't think like this is because he's had the guidance of his mother, unlike Azula. This is the kind of mentality these kids grow up with. They grew up with war and so did Iroh and Ozai.

So why was Iroh's relationship with Lu Ten so different? Where did Iroh experience the kind of compassion and love he passed on to his own son, that Ozai definitely didn't? People act on how they've come to learn, so where did Iroh learn to care about his son to a point that it made him give up on his lifelong ambition?

Let's review a very crucial information we have on Iroh and Ozai as siblings: They have a huge age gap.

Frankly, I'm guessing about 10-20 years. Looks more like 20 to me, but that could also be Iroh's greater amount of endured pain and war making him look older than he actually is. But no one can deny that an age gap is definitely there. Which can also indicate they had different upbringings, despite having grown up in the same family as brothers.

What does this mean? Well, that's just me theorizing now, but I can definitely imagine that Iroh had someone, a family member maybe, there for him who wasn't around or didn't care to be when Ozai grew up. There must've been someone there who gave Iroh emotional security and guidance throughout his upbringing. Who? That's up to imagination. A friend of the family? A friendly uncle? His own mother ((or father))? (The last two things worked out for Zuko in the end, didn't they?) Otherwise I can't really explain myself why Iroh had enough values to love the way he loved Lu Ten, while Ozai clearly didn't give two fucks about his children at any point in his life.

Iroh was the firstborn son, the one who had a vision very early in his life that his destiny was to take over Ba Sing Se. Probably the one who got to have a family member care about him enough to show him how to love.

(I like to point this out a lot because I find it very interesting, and very significant. Please A:TLA give us more info on Iroh's past!!)

Which brings me to my second take: Ozai was the less favored son.

Iroh was clearly a son to be proud of. He was a master firebender, the "Dragon of the West", if you will. He apparently had a vision as a boy that he'd conquer the most "impenetrable city" in the world. He probably lived up to his parent's expectations for his whole life, especially having no sibling to be compared to for a significant part of his life. He broke through the outter wall of Ba Sing Se during his siege. Yada yada yada, you get my point. He's the best son they could've wished for.

And Ozai? As far as I know, he barely even has any military achievements. Taking over Ba Sing Se was Azula's doing. While Iroh laid siege to the capital, he was at home chilling in the palace. He's the younger brother to an established hero and was never meant to be firelord. Now, I haven't read the comics for more info on Ozai's biography, but this man barely had a chance to live up to his parent's standards with Iroh as an older brother. If my theory is correct, Ozai also didn't have any person to provide him emotional guidance throughout his life. (*cough* like Azula)

The logical outcome is: infinite jealousy.

And when Ozai suggests to Azulon that he revoke Iroh's birthright to become firelord, this is Azulon's answer:

Azulon doesn't even hesitate to call Ozai out on his bullshit. He doesn't hesitate to take offense at the suggestion of betraying Iroh, and he even seems to care about Iroh's suffering. Not to mention that Azulon is overall annoyed with Ozai's request for an audience and sends the rest of Ozai's family away as soon as he can, to get whatever it is Ozai wants over with.

I could also mention the fact that Ozai tried to impress Azulon with his daughter's skills (Azula, even named after him) and the overall strained relationship these two seem to exhibit. It's obviously very different from Azulon's relationship with Iroh, if the way he talks about said man is anything to show for.

What if Azulon treated Ozai the same way Ozai treated Zuko? (Probably without the physical abuse, but you get my point.) What if this is where Ozai learned to treat a "useless" kid like shit, maybe also in a way to cope with how he was treated himself?

Getting deeper into the fact that Ozai is rather a loser compared to Iroh, without any big military achievements and without value for anything beyond that, this also explains a lot about Ozai's constant need to establish his dominance.

First; Becoming Firelord through radical manners (you know, killing his own son or killing his own father)

Second; Publicly burning and banishing his own son whom he considers a weakling, who dared to speak up in his war room. Doing this to have everyone know that he doesn't associate himself with weakness and that he will not ever tolerate any form of disrespect.

Third; The whole Phoenix King act. No one can tell me this isn't a madman's doing. This is literally to show off that he is the most powerful person in the world.

Ozai is so obsessed with proving himself and his superiority to everyone, including himself and probably Iroh too. This makes most sense if we consider that he probably lived in his brother's shadow for his whole life, ignored by probably every guiding figure he's ever had in his life, maybe even considered a laughingstock by his own father.

Perhaps this is also the reason Ozai didn't have any problem with Iroh accompanying Zuko in banishment. His brother, the hero in whose shadow he grew up, and his son, the failure he'd wanted out of the way for a long time already. It would erase Iroh's image that made him superior to him, once and for all. For himself and the world. I believe that branding him a traitor was the biggest satisfaction Ozai had ever experienced in his life.

I absolutely despise Ozai with every fibre of my heart, but it amazes me how ATLA continues to leave so much room for interpretation and explanation for a character as despicable as him. Writing this, even had me feel sympathy for him at some point. Feel free to disagree with me or add anything, I'm eager to hear everyone's thoughts about Ozai and Iroh's backstories because I'm geniuinely very curious.

#atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla thoughts #atla theory #atla things #ozai #uncle iroh #iroh #fire nation #phoenix king ozai #avatar ozai #avatar iroh #zuko #azula #azulon #atla textpost #avatar textpost

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thorinsbestie · 3 years

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First time writing in english, is still hard for me to make paragraphs have sense, sorry :'3

War and Victory

Five months stood in the past since (y/n) magically appeared in front of everyone's eyes thanks to a mischief of Gandalf, after that she had been reluctantly accepted into Thorin's Company. Her relationship with the dwarves at first was not the best, however with the passing of days it improved little by little; now everyone treated her as if she were an old friend of theirs.

(Y/n) was lively, although most of her scandal and shamelessness led her to be the victim of the constant scolding that Thorin dedicated to his nephews. The three of them were somewhat common personalities, after a week or two the Li brothers and (y/n) had easily turned to nail and grime. It was no wonder why they had become best friends so quickly, both princes adored her, especially since (y/n) used to cunningly challenge their uncle, defying his words with a playfulness that drove the poor dwarf king mad and ended him musing incomprehensible words in khuzdul.

Today everyone had stopped in a town of men to reload ammunition of food and medicinal herbs. Being so late Thorin had agreed to stay in a tavern, the dwarves would share two rooms and the last one was left free for Bilbo, Gandalf and the human; luckily for (y/n) the hobbit was downstairs with the rest of the Company enjoying their free time. (Y/n) needed to talk with the Istari about a painful subject that she had been hiding in the depths of her soul since her arrival in Middle Earth.

As they approached the Lonely Mountain her heart stumbled more full of regret while remembering the tragic losses that all would suffer in the future.

"Gandalf, it's time for us to talk," she began, turning her cheerful face off with a pained expression, "you told me in the beginning that it was you who brought me here. You revealed to me that you were aware of everything I know about the future of Durin's sons and you asked me to keep the secret until I understood the purpose of my visit" the wizard looked towards the wood of the floor instead of her pleading eyes "I ... I think or rather I feel that from the first moment I came I knew what my role was. Five months have passed and my suspicions about this purpose it's now confirmed ... and I... I have made a mistake" she swallowed "a feeling that I already brought with me from my world was reinforced, I feel so desperate to prevent them from dying that…"

"Do you think it is correct to change the flow of events?" the wizard interrupted.

"I believe… is no longer important if this is correct or not. I adore Fili and Kili, and I love Thorin. I have been in love with him since I read his story in my world!"

"And do you love him enough to lay down your life for him?" he asked sternly. Gandalf's pale eyes piercing her soul. "You must think wisely about what you want to do, young lady. Yes, it is true that I have brought you to be the one who is choosing the destiny of Durin, and I know this is a difficult decision. But why would you lay down your life for someone whose feelings are not mutual?" his words were a hard blow to (y/n), but she remained firm "what will you gain by saving them? If Thorin lives he will be king of a kingdom of dwarves, do you think there will be an opportunity for you if you survive as well? Do not judge me as cruel, I just want to open your blind eyes from an illusion whose expectatives of being fulfilled are almost nil. If Thorin becomes king he must marry a dwarrowdam, a lady of noble birth; diplomacy does not allow a human to sit on the queen's throne or let an hybrid inherit the crown" his face became sympathetic, almost paternal "think, dear (y/n), you love Thorin however you don't need to risk your life for your feelings to be returned".

By now with such crude words spilled out from Gandalf's mouth, (y/n) was already biting the inside of her cheek as helding the fat tears that yearned to fall from her eyes.

"I don't care about my feelings! If he lives, I'll go happily into the arms of death!" she exclaimed with a broken voice, "he has been one of my greatest wishes! I am willing to fulfill it at all cost!"

The dwarves found themselves drinking huge mugs of ale that accompanied the stories and jokes that were told. The atmosphere down there was happy, even Thorin kept a tiny curve in his lips that, unfortunately, fell as soon as his eyes were fixed on the person who was coming down the distant stairs in a hurry. The dwarf King distinguished crystal drops sliding in her face. She was crying. Why was she crying? Why was her vivacity reduced to ashes? At no time in the five months that they had been sharing Thorin had seen her discouraged like that.

Without even thinking about it Thorin apologized and got up following (y/n), who had left the tavern. He didn't just go with her out of curiosity, night was falling, it was dangerous for her to be defenseless outside but he would never admit it out loud, not yet at least.

Thorin found her curled up in the barn where the ponies rested, her arms hugging her legs that kept her face hidden. He approached carefully as she quietly sobbed. Was a matter of time when Thorin felt his throat go dry as he discovered how much he hated seeing her so blue.

"(Y/n)...? " he called soft.

When he didn't obtain an answer, he preferred to take a seat next to her. Thorin gently dropped his hand on her back for support. There he stood by his side, feeling unable to formulate a word as he heard the heartbroken whimpers that made him wonder what was the reason for such sadness. And finally, after half an hour she calmed down, straightened her back and proceeded to lean against the wall of wood; her expressionless face was soaked, eyelids as reddish as her nose, yet the pained glow reflected from her orbs was the last straw for Thorin's patience.

"Who made you cry?" he asked demandly.

"Myself," (y/n) said in a whisper "Thorin, please answer this with honesty. If you were aware that your life is shortened with each step taken ... and if you have in your hands the possibility of preventing it, would you do it? Would you try to save yourself?"

What kind of question was that?

Upon analyzing his words, Thorin was clearly desconcert.

"What are you talking about (y/n)? Is your life in danger?"

"Answer my question, please" she turned her face bathed in anxiety, "would you save yourself even if it means paying with what you love the most?"

"I wouldn't, living without what I love the most would be a punishment worse than death. Tell me now, what is wrong with you? Are you ill? Should I call Óin?"

(Y/n) smiled without grace, but such action was interpreted by the dwarf as the synonym of a goodbye. A bad feeling took hold of his stomach that churned at the simple idea of losing her, because Mahal, it was clear than water how much Thorin appreciated her. She was his One! His true love, and if she had fallen from another world right into his arms it was because she was predestined for no one but him; she was his by right.

"Since the first time I met you in my world you became my greatest admiration, Thorin, and for that reason I would follow you further to Mandos' halls"

"Don't say that, (y/n), I haven't …"

"I'm sorry" she interrupted getting up and wiping another fallen tear, "keep in mind that no matter how difficult the circumstances are, I will be by your side until ... until my visit to these lands is over, I promise you."

Her words were never erased from Thorin's memory.

On Raven Hill there was no noise except for the cries of a King crying disconsolately the name of his One. She was slowly perishing in his arms. The dwarf did not cry easily since his heart was made of stone, however his hardness was cracking, cracking to release the unbearable pain that he suffered when he saw that life abandoning the human's eyes.

Why? he wondered, why had she taken her place? Why had she given her life in exchange for his?

Minutes before this heartbreaking scene, a battle had unfolded between Thorin Oakenshield and Azog the defiler. The King had no other thought than defeating the orc. At no time crossed through his mind the thought of (t/n) leaving the throne room where he had demanded her to wait for his return until the war was over. Thorin thought she had listened to him, but now the misfortune of her disobedience was manifested by a reddish thread of blood that trickled from between her lips and ran down her chin, staining her shirt more than it had already caused the deep wound on her abdomen.

"Thorin ... don't cry ..." she spoke in low whispers.

"Why have you broken your word? I asked you to stay on the throne where you'd have been protected, why have you taken death for me?! You shouldn't have ...!" Thorin broke into sobs, "you can't abandon me, don't do it, I implore you to stay with me"

"Don't you remember what I told you? I would go by your side further to Mandos' halls. I have come to Middle Earth with a purpose that I have already fulfilled, my visit is over" she smiled weakly. "I knew your destiny. Many times I begged in my world for being able to change it and give you the happiness of enjoying your effort to recover Erebor. My wish was listened, and…. " a fit of coughing interrupted her. Each second passed her voice was hard to hear" I will leave happy knowing that you can be King, Thorin…"

The dwarf never imagined that she would actually follow him to Raven Hill, that (y/n) would wait hidden in the mist and debris to impose her goal. He didn't see her coming when she leapt to get between the sharp edge that was pointing against his torso. He even had a chance to push her away from him.

"How could you be so cruel to yourself? You didn't owe me anything! Then why did you give your life for me ?! Why did you do it ?!"

"Because ..." her eyes narrowed, already becoming opaque, "I have admired you since I read your noble feat in a book, because I fell in love as an innocent little girl night after night, the naive illusions of meeting my hero one day in person were just lovely…." she was about to die "because I grew up adoring you and… I have loved you since the first moment I met you… Tho… rin… " her voice finally trailed off.

Her eyes finally got closed. She did not speak any more.

" (Y/n) ....? (Y/n) wake up, please open your eyes givashel, wake up, open your eyes!" cried the king in despair "please come back to me! You cannot abandon me!"

The cries returned, Thorin clung to the human's body as if he wished with all his soul to become one with her. His tears fell without frenzy, drenching the face that would have loved with such devotion if fate had not unjustly taken her away from his embrace. At that moment Thorin felt alone again as when he lost his father and grandfather during the Battle of Azanulbizar. This time Fili, Kili and (y/n) joined the memories that only came to life in his head; the three partners in shenanigans slipped from his hands like souls he could never caress or see.

In war there is no victory when lives as loved as those of your family have been lost.

#thorin x you #Thorin #hobbit #thorin x reader #Sad #Death #hobbit fandom #hobbit x reader

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