#not complaining. my life is dope. but the body starting to break down once you hit 30 is some bullshit

[doctorweebmd]

hello i am turning [REDACTED] in five days and i would like to confirm: my back hurts

#its not a secret lol i'm... turning 32 :( #i've been on tumglr.com since i was 18. so. thats clearly a good sign. #it really does sneak up on you. #like my knee got fucked up from running four months ago and it still hurts #i have multiple grey hairs instead of the 1-2 i'd catch intermittently #drinking is rarely worth it now in days because the hangovers suck #i've somehow been driving my car for as long as i've not been driving my car (got it when i was 16....) #my mother is starting to realize its not a 'phase' when i say i dont want kids and there's a LOT of pregnancy pressure from everyone #a lot of my coworkers are having kids. sometimes multiple. on purpose. #while i'm here. writing my anime boy fanfiction #not complaining. my life is dope. but the body starting to break down once you hit 30 is some bullshit #wdym i can't be 25 forever. why not. #...how do you do fellow kids

[lilfellasblog]

King Roman and the Fake Harem

Summary: King Roman has enemies directly outside his walls, pressure from inside his walls to get a harem, and no solution in sight. Until he sees the solution has been right under his nose the entire time. This is the story of how an aroace King gets a harem of advisors.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.

TW: Two brief instances of sexual harassment, one instance of groping, swearing (because Virgil), and people sneering at sex workers/ presumed sex workers.

Word count: 2385

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

King Roman sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Ugh, give me a few hours to think of something,” he groaned.

His lead advisor that he’d inherited from his father, who Roman refused to refer to as anything but Orange, protested “But sir, we need a decision soon. It’s already been a week since enemy troops positioned themselves just outside our walls, and we’ve done little besides ask them to leave. That, on top of your lack of harem-”

“I’ll have something for you in two hours, regarding the troops,” Roman said, waving Orange away.

Orange huffed and spun on his heel, leaving the throne room grumbling. Roman brushed a hand over his face. A week into being king and the enemy decides to attack? The nerve!

“You know, if you roll out the catapults to the front gate, that would take care of the troops outside the walls on that side, and then you could concentrate your archers on the rear of the kingdom walls.”

Roman looked over to the side of his throne. Sir Virgil had been his best knight, until he’d been shot by an arrow that had permanently damaged his shoulder. That was 4 weeks ago, he was still in a sling, and ever since he’d been released from the medical wing he’d been making his lack of work everyone else’s problem.

Roman raised an eyebrow. “And just how would you propose moving the catapults from the armory down 100 feet of stairs to the front entrance, hm?”

Sir Virgil shrugged. “Ramps.”

Roman stopped short. Oh, he’s smart. “...very well.” He appraised Virgil. He’ll never be able to be a knight again and he needs something to do, and he’s not too unfortunate-looking… “How would you like a job?”

/////

Virgil adjusted the silks that hid exactly nothing of his upper body so they’d sit comfortably over his still-bandaged arm and shoulder. He was about to join his first ever advisor meeting, and he was beyond nervous. He’d been rather enjoying his life as the first member of Roman’s harem (that so far hadn’t even resulted in a single flirtatious remark, which Virgil wasn’t complaining about but he was certainly confused by), and he didn’t want to do anything to fuck it up.

“Ready?”

Virgil jumped and hissed through his teeth as his shoulder was jostled by the sudden movement.

Roman was frowning. Before Virgil could apologize, Roman asked, “Are you alright? I can have a healer come over. If you’d prefer to sit out this meeting and rest, that would be a more than acceptable course of action.”

Virgil was stunned. “Huh?”

Roman nodded at him. “Your shoulder, it seems to be causing you pain.”

“Oh! It’s not too bad, I’ll be fine. Still getting used to not moving it too much.”

Roman laughed. “Yes, that I have been witness to. Are you ready?”

“Yeah. Do I need to walk, like, meekly or whatever?” Virgil asked, cheeks already heating up at the future humiliation.

A look of disgust came over Roman. “No, I wouldn’t expect that of anyone under my employ.”

Virgil let out a breath. “Alright, cool cool.”

The meeting started out as expected, a few snickers from his former co-workers who were still knights, but nothing Virgil couldn’t ignore. Virgil recognized Orange by his blaze orange ensemble that hurt his eyes (no wonder Roman refused to give Virgil his actual name). When it came time to discuss military tactics, Roman spoke first.

“I would like to introduce my military advisor, Sir Virgil. Sir Virgil, if you would, please announce your strategy for driving off the enemies.”

Before Virgil could get a word out, Virgil’s former boss blurted out, “You’re trusting your military strategy with a common whore?!”

Virgil levelled him with his best death glare. “Call me that again and I’ll cut off your balls and shove them down your throat.”

Only Virgil was close enough to hear the King swallow his laughter at the general’s paling face. Roman cleared his throat and spoke.

“To answer your question, yes. Sir Virgil, if you wouldn’t mind continuing?”

Virgil smirked. “Gladly.” For the next 20 minutes, Virgil confidently discussed his strategy with the catapults and archers, fielded questions, and specified the ideal placements. As the meeting drew to a close and Roman went to do the obligatory schmoozing with top leaders (Virgil noticed with glee how the military personel scrambled to get out, supposedly to “update the troops”), the Lead Advisor of Common Education approached Virgil. Virgil did the customary respectful bow, which the advisor returned.

“I trust King Roman is treating you well?” he inquired, blue eyes sparkling from beneath a sandy fringe.

“Yes, very much so. This fucked up rotator cuff is the best thing to happen to me,” Virgil internally winced at his choice of words. Gonna have to work on that.

The advisor just laughed. “I suppose it must be! Surely, being part of a harem is much more comfortable than being a knight.”

Virgil shrugged, and winced as he once again forgot about his injured shoulder. “Yeah, it is. I’m just glad I can help in some capacity by being a strategic advisor.”

“Yes, yes, that must be quite fun for you,” the advisor purred. Virgil bristled at his condescending tone. “Do let me know if you require more… attention than what King Roman provides.”

Virgil wrinkled his face. He focused on Roman, and heard his attention was on Orange who was insisting that one person could hardly be considered a harem. “I think I’m good.”

“Oh, of course, of course, but do keep me in mind.” And before Virgil realized what was happening, the advisor had patted his ass.

Virgil used his good arm to grab the man’s offending hand, twist him around, bring him to his knees, and place a foot on the middle of his back.

“Ow! You stupid whore, get off-”

“What is the meaning of this?!” King Roman thundered.

Virgil released the advisor. “This guy was perving all over me, and I get I’m part of a harem but I don’t stand for that shit.”

“It was just a love tap!”

King Roman’s face was red with anger. “Sir Virgil, he encroached on your person?”

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”

“You are relieved of your duties.”

Virgil sagged while the advisor smiled smugly. Welp, the grapes and silk were fun while they lasted. “Yeah, okay.”

Roman jerked back a bit in confusion. “What? No, you,” he glared at the now-ex-advisor.

The advisor was aghast. “Excuse me? How dare you!”

“How dare you, touching a man without his consent and then having the gall to speak to me in such a tone!”

Virgil was in too much shock to process the rest of the conversation. He came back to his senses just outside the medical wing. Roman was instructing the doctor to recheck Virgil’s bandages as they didn’t seem to quite hold his shoulder still, and sighed in relief when he caught Virgil watching them.

“Virgil, there you are! Are you alright? Say the word, and I’ll arrange for you to speak with our mind doctor.”

Virgil blinked a few times.

Roman turned back to the doctor. “Could he have gone into shock? Does he need-”

Virgil shook his head to unfreeze his brain. “No, I’m fine. I’ve had people trying to kill me, part of the job, I’m okay.”

King Roman furrowed his brow. “Are you sure? Truly, if you need to talk to someone-”

Virgil held his good hand up. “I’m fine, promise. I’ll talk to someone later if I need to.”

Roman sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. Oh! The military is deploying your strategy as we speak! I thought I’d let you know before the good doctor looked you over.”

“Dope! Wait, what?”

King Roman was walking away. “I’ll see you once you’re tended to!” he called over his shoulder.

“What are you talking about, my shoulder… actually kinda hurts, okay fine.”

/////

One successful defeat of an opposing military later, and Roman had removed yet another advisor from his circle for creepy behavior.

“Hey Princey, I appreciate you defending my honor and shit, but that was the Lead Advisor of Trade,” Virgil began.

“And I’m better off without him!” Roman declared.

Virgil scratched his chin. “I mean yeah, but also you have a trade meeting with neighboring kingdoms coming up in a week, and two days after that you have an internal trade meeting with surrounding villages and the farmers within the city walls.”

Roman started stretching his arms and back in a way Virgil had identified meant he was stressed. “And there has been even more talk of my small harem, which does not bode well for external negotiations,” Roman murmured to himself.

Virgil shifted. “Yeah, that. Why don’t you just have your new advisors be part of your harem like me?”

Roman paused. “That’s… brilliant! Thank you Virgil!”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, no problem. It’s a pretty sweet gig. Although I don’t know why you haven’t-” he cut himself off with an awkward cough.

King Roman looked distinctly uncomfortable. “I’m afraid I’m not… particularly interested in those activities. I apologize if I’ve disappointed you.”

Virgil let out a breath. “I mean, I’m kinda relieved, not that you’re not hot! But I’d rather not break my two rules.”

Roman preened at the compliment. “What are your two rules?”

“Don’t shit where you eat and don’t fuck where you work.”

“Ah.”

“Look, there might be enough time to get someone else up to speed before the trade meetings. But you’ll have to choose someone quickly.”

Roman sat down in his throne and looked skyward in thought. “Are you familiar with Patton Hart? He’s already organized the internal farmers into their current union. What of him?”

Virgil remembered running into him right after a difficult mission and somehow ending up with a bag of tomatoes, a bag of bell peppers, and strict instructions to bathe and sleep. “Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“How do you think he’d do as an advisor?”

Virgil didn’t have to think for long. “I think he’d be awesome. Want me to talk to him?”

“If you’d be so kind. And please assure him that his role would be strictly as an advisor.”

Virgil smirked. “You mean a shirtless advisor.”

Roman turned beet red, and Virgil cackled.

/////

Before Virgil knew it, the harem quarters weren’t so lonely. Patton had agreed to join, very happy with the wardrobe and quickly making a name for himself. Patton had, in turn, recommended Logan Logos to replace the other creepy advisor. Logan had run a very successful pre-K Montessori program before joining the palace harem, and he fit in with the rest of the advising circle well, already creating reforms to account for diverse learning styles. In fact, Virgil had noticed that the advisors who weren’t part of the harem started taking him and Patton more seriously once the proper and strong Logan had joined them.

The day of the inter-kingdom trade meeting had come, and Logan and Virgil would both be attending along with Patton. Everyone was nervous about how the sweet and gentle Patton would do at such a fierce and antagonist event.

Virgil’s shoulder was out of the cast and sling, although it was still tender. He clapped a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “Go get ‘em,” he said, trying to be encouraging.

Patton flushed. “Thanks Vee.”

The meeting began, along with the customary hour-long political niceties, and finally it came time for the trade advisors to speak on their leaders’ behalf.

Virgil ground his teeth at the open snickering of Patton’s garb, and he could tell Logan and Roman were feeling the same way. Patton, however, seemed to be unaffected by it all. As expected, the Kingdom of Fiery Fields spoke first.

“King Roman, we propose a 5% increase of taxes for the crops we export to your kingdom, lest we cease all wheat exports to you.”

“You may call me Advisor Hart, and for what reason? We already pay you 12% more for your crops than other kingdoms.”

The platinum blonde man stared at Patton with haughty hazel eyes. “Because, Advisor Hart,” he sneered. “our crops are unmatched in quality!”

Patton nodded his head. “Fair point. I suppose you won’t mind a moratorium on all exports of our steel to your kingdom then?”

It was as if all the air was sucked out of the room.

Platinum Blonde was outraged. “You wouldn’t!”

“Actually, we would. You are now meeting with the new King’s new advisory circle, and we won’t stand for pointless tax increases that a review of the books show only go to pay the noblewomen you’re cheating on your wife with,” Patton stated, smiling sweetly the entire time.

Half of the trade advisors around the table laughed, while the other half gawked. Platinum Blonde backed down, and the trade meeting lasted for only 2 days instead of the typical 3 since Patton effectively shut down any ego-based bullshitting that occurred.

/////

Virgil and Patton were taking turns trying to toss grapes into each others’ mouths, laughing, while Logan pretended to be irritated by their antics. The doors opened suddenly to show Orange, in his eye-burning all-orange ensemble.

“Hiya!” Patton chirped, hiding his own discomfort. They were all intensely disliked by Orange, who seemed to blame them for Roman not being interested in sex or romance.

Orange sniffed. “Advisor Logos, the noble King would like to extend his congratulations on the tax reform that redirected many of the fees of our noblepeople to educational supplies.”

Logan nodded at him. “Thank you. I’m quite proud of that myself and am very glad it came to fruition. Was their anything else you required, Advisor Wrath?”

“What?!” Virgil and Patton shouted at the same time. They whipped their heads over to Orange.

“No. Good day.” With that, Orange - or rather, Advisor Wrath - left their room.

Virgil and Patton turned back to Logan, who was seemingly reading again.

“Dude what the fuck-”

“How the heck did you know?!”

Logan just raised an eyebrow while continuing to read. “I have a way of finding things out,” he said, looking up for a second to smirk at them before going back to his book.

Virgil and Patton decided to not test Logan’s abilities.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #aroace Roman Sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #Sanders sides fanfic #Sanders sides fanfiction #patton sanders #ts sides

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Member: pilot juyeon thanks to him saying he wanted to be a pilot i couldn’t let this go

Genre: S M U T. this is going to be a long ride... (don’t say i didn’t warn you)

A/N: i spent TWO hours finding a track for this piece and i’m not gonna lie i’m very tempted to go wild with this one so i’m sorry if you start tearing up because it’s so unlike me to go nuts like this. the time now is 11.30pm, let’s see how long it takes me to produce a piece that makes YOU want to go to church. 

“stay on the ground until your knees hurt”

“another!” you call out boisterously, raising your glass so high and fast into the air that the alcohol found its way over the rims and only your hand. the crowd around you shouted and cheered, and sunwoo got out of his seat to get the attention of a bar girl who he doesn’t resist to rest his hands on.

you watch him whisper something into her ear, his lips just inches away from her skin. she licks her plump lips that you were sure had some kind of filler, dragging her long nail across his jawline and walking away, nodding at his order. 

“sunwoo!” you groggily call out. you were on your third glass of Kamikaze and the vodka was already starting to replace the fluid in your veins. your chest was burning and your fingertips were slowly numbing from the intoxication, and your nose picks up nothing but the scent of sweat mixed with all kinds of alcohol. “you’re supposed to be having fun with me, not flirting with the--” you belch and hyunjun glares at you with a look on disgust on his face. “bar girl.”

you start breaking out into snorts and snickers, hyunjun shaking his head at your ability to completely let loose so quickly. sunwoo returns to the table and downs a shot of vodka like it was water, wincing at the burn in his throat as he turns to you. 

“i am having fun with you, but it’s not going to be long before you get dragged off to some corner and get... i don’t know, pounded by someone!” 

he was sitting right next to you but the deafening club music that was echoing in the corners of your brain forced him to yell at you. you scoff, licking the sweet taste of the lime juice off your lips.

“so what if that happens? i’m never gonna see him again because guess who’s leaving the country tomorrow?!” you throw one arm around him, and the other picks up a shot. 

“i can’t believe you’re fucking ditching us to go to new york,” hyun jun looks up from his phone and raises a cocky brow at you, eyes hooded and a smile loosely hanging on his lips. the man was tipsy and the music was probably getting to him now. 

“aw,” you cough, downing the shot and slamming it down on the table. you pull both boys into you, arms around their necks and your drunken self tries to ruffle both their heads against each other. 

the bar girl that sunwoo was hitting on before comes by, more drinks in hand than you told sunwoo to order. you release sunwoo when the both of you notice the extra drinks, and the bar girl leans into sunwoo’s neck (which was such a cheap trick). 

you could’ve sworn she licked sunwoo’s ear just before she left, and she leaves all the drinks on your table. 

“you’ve got a secret admirer,” sunwoo smirks at you, pulling all the drinks over to your end of the table. “she said someone sent the drinks over for you.”

you raise both brows in pleasant surprise, a drowsy smile spreading across your lips as you instinctively stand up in the booth. eyes scanning the club with shitty-ass lighting flickering every second, heads bobbing up and down and people yelling here and there. 

it takes your doped vision to finally find your secret admirer, and he was standing on the second floor, torso over the railings and looking right down at you. his right foot was perched on the lowest bars and his arms were resting over the uppermost bar, swirling a small glass of whatever he was drinking in his right hand. 

you couldn’t really make out his face from this angle and the horrible, headache-inducing light, so all you do is raise a glass to him. 

“THANKS MAN!”

sunwoo and hyun jun jump at your sudden screeching, watching you down the shot in honour of your secret admirer before plopping yourself between the two of them. 

you let hyunjun and sunwoo reprimand you for taking up the promotion from the production company, but you knew deep down inside they were just sad you were leaving them. the three of you had been friends since you were teenagers and ended up in the same production company, and it was a dream you shared up to that point. 

accepting the promotion meant you were at a crossroad, and they did nothing but support your decision to go. 

‘time’ didn’t exist when you were stuck between your two best friends, in a booth in a club where the floor-shaking music made your hold on reality unreliable, and after enough shots, the alcohol was finally making your bladder full. 

you push past hyunjun, your rear brushing across his lap and you look back over your shoulders and grin at hyunjun as an apology. 

you stumble into the bathroom, the blue led lighting painting the walls a nostalgic blue and the red cubicles were such a terrible combination, your eyes began to glitch with the help of the alcohol in your blood. 

you get your business done, thanking god that you were in sneakers, else you would’ve fell inwards into the toilet bowl itself and probably get stuck there. the mirror presents you with a version of you that don’t really see anywhere. in fact, the only times you were dressed in a sheer top and black bra, pants and sneakers was when you let sunwoo drag you to a nightclub. 

you’re not really a fan of the loud, mind-juicing music most clubs play, much less the crowd. but tonight was an exception, because you had less than 24 hours before you were on a flight halfway across the world to start a new chapter of your life. 

you drink a mouthful of water from the tap in attempt to wash the heat from your chest, but when it fails, you’re not surprised. you turn to leave the washroom, the entrance right opposite the male’s toilet and someone comes out the same second you step out of the female toilet. 

you naturally look up and lock eyes with the man, and the first thing that strikes you were his eyes. they were long, focused, mysterious. 

then you realise that he was your secret admirer.

“oh, you!” the realisation washes through you, the alcohol motivating you to throw your arm around him and ruffle his hair. “thank you for the... good shit.” 

he grabs your wrist and stops you in your actions, pulling away and standing up straight. 

suddenly, his height becomes difficult to ignore, and you momentarily wish that you were in heels to match his eyes. 

he leans in dangerously close to you, the look in his eyes make you feel like you’ve done something wrong and it lights a fire in your stomach. “are you here with your boyfriends?”

you scoff loudly at his question, throwing your head back and hugging your belly, one of your wrists still in his grasp.

“who? sunwoo and hyunjun?” you start to snort and giggle uncontrollably, your free hand whacking him on the chest. “you’re funny.”

he tilts his head to the side but his eyes don’t change. 

“over my dead body, dude,” you wave it off, coming down from your humor. “they’re just my friends.”

he goes quiet for awhile, his grip on your wrist never once faltering. he tugs a little on your skin, trying to get your attention.

there was a heat between the two of you, and you couldn’t smell much besides the alcohol in both your breaths.

“can i have their permission to bring you elsewhere? or are they responsible for sending you home safely?”

you bite on your bottom lip, a smile of uncertainty pulling the corners of your mouth up your cheek. you harshly remove your wrist from his grip and throw both arms around his neck, the action requiring more effort than you calculated due to his height. you pull him down and force him into an unconscious power play, leaning into his ear and giving him a small nip on his ear. 

“you don’t need their permission, stranger. you can do whatever you want with me, i’m a grown woman after all.”

you were meant to scare his bold ass away, knowing that your drunken personality wasn’t one to be dealt with. but not only does he remain calm, he gives you the most menacing smile you’ve ever seen in your life. 

“i’ll take that as an invitation.” 

you rush back to the booth were sunwoo and hyun jun were, searching for your bag and downing a few shots while you were at it. they could tell you were in a rush, and you weren’t entirely sure why you were either. 

even if it was the alcohol that was letting you think this was a great idea, you were leaving. it didn’t hurt to have just one night of fun before you were shipped off to another country to work your ass off. 

“hey, hey, hey! where the hell are you going?!” sunwoo complains loudly, throwing his palm into the air. 

“i’m going on a date with my secret admirer,” you give them a mischievous smile, finishing one last shot before waving to them. “i’ll see you tomorrow at the airport, sweets.”

you lean in towards them and peck them on the crowns of their head, rushing off to look for the mysterious man who wasn’t one bit intimidated by your intoxicated self. 

you give him the address of your residence once you reach his car, because at least if anything were to happen, you know the lift lobby of your apartment building had cameras installed. even if you were murdered, there was no way this guy would go scott-free. 

once you get the door unlocked, he pushes you in, hands tightly gripping on the flesh of your rear while his lips fight yours. 

you drop your bag, feeling your back hit some wall in your apartment and your lipstick begins to smudge on his through the messy kisses. his hands were large, and the intensity of the moment rises when he bites on your lip. the pinch of pain pulls out a gasp, and he shoves his tongue into your mouth. 

he explores your mouth messily, and his hands don’t stop roaming your body. usually, you’d be slightly uncomfortable with letting a stranger into your place and letting him hook up with you like this, but the thought of him asking about your friends was strangely comforting. 

his fingers dig into your curves of your waist and he presses himself against you, sandwiching you between his body and the hard wall against your back. recklessly looking for your hands that were around his neck, he violently pins them against the wall over your head, and his large hands give him the privilege of doing it with only one hand. 

the moans and low groans were the only sounds you could hear, and his hand pulls your sheer blouse from under your jeans. his cold fingertips drag themselves across your stomach and up over your bra, harshly cupping your breast and kneading them. 

you feel yourself slowly beginning to melt under his touch, and you start squirming against his chest and the wall, but your wrists being anchored to the wall rendered your movements useless. 

he pulls away from the kiss, your tongues hanging between your lips as a trail of saliva breaks and it forms a drop on the corner of your mouth. you look up and look at him again under the better lighting, and you can’t help but notice how gorgeously defined his features were. sharp nose, high cheekbones, and good god those eyes. 

you were getting lost in them when he shoves his hand under your bra, your shirt still on you and the material collecting around his wrists. the contact sends you backwards into the wall, and his fingers start to play with your sensitive nub. the pull tightens around your torso, and you feel him attach his lips to your neck once your neck’s been turned away from the sensation of him playing with your nipple. 

you don’t even realise he’s let go of your wrists and your hands were now just gripping onto his hair and shoulders while he multi-tasks you into a mewling, whining mess. there was no space to wonder what he was doing with his other hand, until you realise he’s been undoing your belt and the button around your waist. 

he squeezes his hand under the material of the jeans that were just hugging your rear a few seconds ago, and his entire hand claws around the curves of your ass cheek. 

it was difficult to believe that not one piece of clothing has been removed. 

impatience was starting to fill your mind, and you could feel your core gradually getting wetter and needier, from a guy whose name you don’t even know. 

“let’s get this over with, i’m not really in the mood to play with you,” your voice comes out strained and needy, all the fondling and grabbing was just making you need him even more. 

but his hands don’t move. his fingers under your pants dig further into your skin and starts kneading the fat and flesh of your ass cheek like he was doing to your breast, and his lips finally tear away from your neck, only to reach your ears. 

“but you said i could do whatever i wanted with you.”

a playful smile erupts on your face and you poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue as he pulls away, eyes locking with yours again. 

you pull his arms out from under all your clothes and rest both your palms flat against his shoulders, slowly pushing him backwards and guiding him into your bedroom. 

“i’ll let you do whatever you want with me only if you win.”

you could tell something in him snapped, and you should’ve seen it coming, but you don’t. 

your back hits your closed door with a loud thump, and he repeats his actions from before: pinning your hands above your head. you let him have his fun and suck at the skin on your neck and lips, and your tongues take turn to fight a harsh, sloppy game of dynamics. his free arm shoves its way down your stomach and under your already unbuttoned jeans, finding your sensitive nub in your crotch. 

the pressure throws your attention off the power play between your tongues, and he pushes his wet muscle into your wet cavern. you could feel his arrogance and confidence soar, and it only riled you up even more when you now know he was a worthy opponent. 

he slips a finger under the material of your underwear and shoves a finger into you without warning, the sudden intrusion sending a sharp chill up your back. it rips you away from the kiss and you let out a loud moan that was music to his ears. 

the jeans were getting in the way, so he pushes it off your hips and down your thighs, your underwear following along with there rest of your pants. 

it was amusing to know that your bottoms had come off first instead of your tops, but maybe it was just him trying to tell you that he wasn’t going to go easy on you.

he was so preoccupied with eating your face and fingering you that his grip on your wrists had loosened, and you writhe yourself out of his hold, only to grab his hand that was inside you. you pull him out of yourself and bring it up to your lips, dragging your tongue oh so slowly around the skin of his finger before you wrapped your lips around it like it was a lollipop.

the sight of you tasting yourself brings more lust into his eyes, and you saw it. you smirk, finishing the last of yourself off his finger. he was so stunned, you took the opportunity to shove him backwards onto your bed and climb on top of him. 

“you’ve had your fun, now i’ll have mine.” you whisper into his ear, hands already travelling down to his groin and cupping his manhood. 

the growl that escaped from his throat was so satisfying to hear, and reason for the tightening material around his zipper was just so inviting. 

“aw, you treat me like i’m needy as if you aren’t yourself,” you straddle yourself around his lips as you reach out to a scarf you had strewn on your bed. you shove your lips between his and press your wet core onto his groin, sucking groans out from his chest as you wrap the soft material of your scarf around his wrists. 

he doesn’t notice it until you’ve tightened it with a knot. 

his eyes widen and you happily rile up his shirt to expose his skin. the veins that ran from his hips and under his pants were so inviting, you couldn’t resist but to attach your lips to the space around his pelvis while undoing his belt. 

you could hear him struggle to sit up, especially with his hands tied together, but you knew he couldn’t, not while you were busy leaving butterfly kisses all over his abs. 

his pelvis bucks upwards and his chin tilts towards the ceiling, your fingers undoing the button and zipper painfully slowly while you watch him writhe in lustful need. 

you leave his pants on, only exposing his tentage to yourself. the bulge was impressive, but you don’t expect any less, not when you’ve been playing with him like this. 

you lean your face close to his groin, your heavy breath landing on him through his boxers. your fingers play with the rim of his boxers, dragging only the fingertip between his skin and the material while you leave kisses on his pelvic bone. 

you hear a low growl from him, and veins start appearing on his neck as he grits his teeth in agony. 

you abruptly yank his boxers low enough for his length to spring out, and your eyes catch sight of the precum on the tip, already dripping down the sides of his swollen shaft.

you lower your head so your eyes were leveled with his as he lifts his head to look at you, his length just inches away from your lips. 

you make sure he was watching before you press your tongue flat onto his red tip, and an inhumane sound rumbles through him. you hear him curse and you suck only on the tip, your hands pressing against his thighs to prevent yourself from taking more of him into your mouth.

you pull him out, dragging your lips along the bare minimum surface of his skin, a mixture of your saliva and his precum sliding down the little veins that were emerging on the walls of his length. you crawl up back to him, pressing your face into his and kissing him so he could taste himself. 

he starts another power game with your tongue, his neck slowly leaving your bed as you feel the tip of him tap against your inner thighs. your hands were pressed to his chest were his shirt was still riled up to his collar bones, and you remember your shirt and bra were still on. 

you were so focused on winning the game between your lips that the sudden grip on your waist throws you completely off guard. your eyes widen and you immediately break the kiss, only to realise you had already been flipped over onto your knees, face buried in the mattress. he tosses the scarf right next to your face, and smile pulls your lips apart. 

you try to lift your torso off the cushion, but he finds your wrists and holds them down into your lower back, pushing you further into the cotton of your bed. you let out a strained laugh, knowing that you’ve driven him so far over the edge that you’ve lost a game you usually won. 

“i guess someone doesn’t like to lose,” you laugh into the air around you, listening to the sound of a belt hitting your floor. you were still mildly amused with your torso being fully clothes, but there was something about that that differentiated him from other guys you’ve hooked up with. 

this man didn’t have the greed you were familiar with. 

“i’m fine with losing,” he leans forward and announces into your ear. “but i couldn’t pass up on hearing you beg.”

you huff with pleasant surprise as he peels himself away from your back. 

he pushes into you without warning, and you let out the tightest, most strained moan you’ve ever heard yourself make. he doesn’t give you time to adjust, immediately ramming himself into you like there was no tomorrow. 

the impact was slamming your left cheek into the mattress, and saliva had begun escaping out from the corner of your lips that were ajar. 

there was a smile on your face, and with every thrust you let out a mixture of laughs and moans. you feel the flesh on your rear being squeezed like fruit, and you could feel him going deeper and deeper with every subsequent thrust. 

you feel a knot start to form in your stomach, and the laughter slowly turned into low groans and curses as you struggle to look behind you. 

he glares at you through his sweaty fringe, and almost like he could read your face and the lewd noises you were making, he stops and pulls out. 

“what the fuck--” you hiss angrily into the bed. your thighs were shivering from the rampant fucking, and you were physically worn out to some extent. the knot in your core had disappeared, but you’ve never felt so dissatisfied in your life. 

you hear him give a low chuckle, his arms sliding under you and flipping you around again so you were on your back this time. he wraps his lengthy fingers around your ankles and yanks you to the edge of the bed. you struggle a little, wanting to kick him in the face, but the strength he was investing into holding your ankles makes you look like a fragile little nothing. 

he wraps your legs around his waist and leans forward, pressing his palms flat into the cotton around your head, eyes digging into yours. 

you were pissed that he didn’t let you come, but then you remind yourself that he’s not like anybody you’ve ever slept with. your top and bra were still on, and though he looks like he could snap any moment, he’s got perfect control over what he wanted to do. 

he drags a finger down your cheek and traces along your jaw and chin, brushing your lower lip as he closes the gap between your faces.

“i want to hear you beg, love.” 

your eyes were so dangerously near his, and the close proximity surprisingly makes you a little anxious. 

you contemplate for a moment, wondering just how much he was willing to do just to get what he wanted. so, you held back your need to reach your climax and invite him to test his limits. 

“make me.”

he smirks at you, eyes filling with nothing but lust as he abruptly slams into you. your head gets thrown back, and your fingers grip onto the blanket and bed sheet tightly as he starts mindlessly fucking you again. he finally pushes your sheer top up to your neck and literally tears your bra off.

the combination of his tongue playing with one nipple, one hand kneading your other breast and the consistent, violent slams he was making into you was sending you into a place you’ve never been before. 

your mind starts to flash white as the knot returns to your stomach. curses start to leave your lips again and you could almost immediately feel him slow down. your mind says ‘hold it together’ but your body has admitted defeat to his control over himself.

“fuck, don’t stop.”

but it’s almost like he didn’t hear you. 

the thrusts slow down and the magic spot he was hitting inside you was slowly seeping away. 

tears were gathering in the corners of your eyes by the time the knowledge of what he wanted sinks in. 

“oh-- for fucks’ sake, please don’t stop!” 

he pulls away from your breast and starts sucking on your bottom lip, his pace picking up again and now that he was nearly pressed fully against you, every thrust felt deeper than before, if it was even possible. all the moans and mewls you were letting out were getting lost in his mouth.

his thumb finds your sensitive spot above the spot where the two of you were joined, and the pressure sends you into a frenzy you haven’t felt in a long time.

the knot returns for the third time tonight, and he releases your lips to suck on your neck. when the curses start to run off your tongue, the pleads begin pouring out as well. you could feel him smile into your neck as his thrusts get harder and faster; something you didn’t think he was capable of.

the violent fucking was starting to make you see stars, and he just finds the sweet spot on your neck, his thumb still rubbing circles on your core. 

the knot in your abdomen turns into a glass rod, and with one final, sharp thrust, the glass rod shatters and sends periodic spams throughout your entire body. 

the moaning mess you’ve become doesn’t stop him from halting his movements. he lets you ride out your climax while he tries to chase his, and he pulls out to unload himself on your thighs. 

the inappropriate noises were replaced with pants and huffs, and you felt so limp in your own bed, you couldn’t even begin to process the fact that you lost. 

he finds the tissue box in the corner of your room and cleans himself off your skin and off the tip of his slightly flaccid length, turning sideways to present you the veins that ran from his arms to his hands. every muscle on him was so pumped from the session that you couldn’t help but hate yourself for feasting your eyes on him. 

he catches you watching him and raises a smug brow, crushing the tissue in his hand as he smirks at you. 

“see?” he reaches down and picks up his shirt, pulling it over his head the way only hot guys did. “begging wasn’t so hard.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2: Do It For Me

A/N: brb i gotta drink a whole fucking tank of holy water--

#timetohajima #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #juyeon smut #the boyz smut #wtf help #lee juyeon #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagine #juyeon fanfic #juyeon imagine

[dreamersmemes]

jessie reyez ‘before love came to kill us’ sentences

feel free to change pronouns & things ! DO YOU LOVE HER

‘ i should’ve fucked your friends ’ ‘ it would’ve been the best revenge ’ ‘ i’m trying to heal but it’s a process ’ ‘ there’s a stranger where my heart is ’ ‘ i’m sick with feeling like i deserved better ’ ‘ you’re sick for everything you did to me ’ ‘ it was a setup ’ ‘ if i blow your brains out, i could guarantee that you’ll forget her ’ ‘ i could kiss it better ’ ‘ kiss me ’ ‘ i’m the monster that you made ’ ‘ kiss me, i’m the monster that you made ’ ‘ you made me ’ ‘ now i’m just like you ’ ‘ don’t complain ’ ‘ i do the things you like hoping you’d stay ’ ‘ you don’t want me unless i’m someone else’s ’ ‘ you don’t even know you’re being selfish ’ ‘ that’s when you get off and you can’t help it ’ ‘ all your bullets, they feel like velvet ’ ‘ i let you do it ’ ‘ i loved you too much ’ ‘ your dead to me ’

DEAF ( who are you )

‘ what the fuck’s a day off? ’ ‘ i don’t love ya ’ ‘ go get your bitch ’ ‘ she’s all on my dick ’ ‘ i am the one that got you in love ’ ‘ i heard you got a lot to say ’ ‘ i ain’t a killer, i’ll let you breathe ’ ‘ oh, now you don’t recognise my face? ’ ‘ i never listen ’ ‘ who are you? ’ ‘ if i’m sipping jameson, i don’t answer ’ ‘ i’m taking everything i came for ’ ‘ i ain’t fucking asking ’ ‘ who are you, bitch? ’

INTRUDERS

‘ this is mine from now on ’ ‘ when i see intruders, i load up my weapons ’ ‘ you’re beautiful ’ ‘ i see them stare ’ ‘ you belong to me ’ ‘ i’d kill all intruders ’ ‘ my love is ruthless ’ ‘ you are my kingdom ’ ' heads on a stake of people that failed ’ ‘ don’t you come in ’ ‘ this is my land ’ ‘ please, no intruders ’

COFFIN

‘ we fought until the sun rose ’ ‘ i still ain’t been to bed ’ ‘ the devil wakes up in my head ’ ‘ he told me that you hate me and you blame me ’ ‘ you hate me and you blame me ’ ‘ you said that you wish that you were dead ’ ‘ you make me wanna jump off a roof ’ ‘ i love you to death ’ ‘ i love you to death, just like a fool ’ ‘ i walk up to the edge and say a prayer before i let go ’ ‘ you get there just in time to save me and apologise ’ ‘ maybe we can go back to bed ’ ‘ i had to watch you jump off the roof ’ ‘ maybe buddha’s got it right? we reincarnate every time ’ ‘ i’ll find you in another life ’ ‘ i don’t really wanna fight ’ ‘ i just wanna spend the night ’ ‘ hit me in the eye, bit me on the thigh, then began to cry ’ ‘ i’m at the end of my wits. let’s end this ’ ‘ pledge your loyalty, treat me like a king ’ ‘ no matter how mad i get, i’m mad about you ’ ‘ i know we’ve had our challenges, still i keep trying to salvage it ’ ‘ bet you think i’m fucking around on you ’ ‘ it never changes, i doubt if it will ’ ‘ cheat on me then say “how does it feel?” ‘ ‘ how could you? ’ ‘ i almost had a child with you ’ ‘ i’ll put you in the ground ’ ‘ you’re just trying to pull me down with you ’ ‘ if you jump, i’m jumping with you ’ ‘ neither one of us having nothing to lose but each other ’

ANKLES

‘ we fight just to fuck just to fight again ’ ‘ i never thought you’d leave me ’ ‘ i doubt you’ll ever find anyone ’ ‘ these bitches can’t measure up ’ ‘ you apologise, but your twitter says ‘no regrets’ ’ ‘ i’d kill for a mute button in my head ’ ‘ i’m tired of pretending like i was the guilty one ’ ‘ you’re shallow ’ ‘ why’s it always me that’s gotta feel bad? ’ ‘ you left me in a heartbeat ’ ‘ it will never go back to the way it was ’ ‘ she’s not on my level, you could’ve done better ’ ‘ you make me sick ’ ‘ i’m back on my shit ’ ‘ she doesn’t ride like i used to ride it ’ ‘ i doubt you’ll find anyone to measure up to me ’

IMPORTED

‘ my bank account is looking mighty fine ’ ‘ we can skip the wine and dine, go straight to the wind and grind ’ ‘ wanna cum? i can make it happen ’ ‘ you can be my biggest secret ’ ‘ you’re gonna have to leave him ’ ‘ you’re in love with somebody else ’ ‘ maybe i could offer some help? ’ ‘ get over them by getting under me ’ ‘ you might o.d if you get too much of me ’ ‘ my name is not important ’ ‘ i’m not from here ’ ‘ i drink liquor like it’s water ’ ‘ what happened here ain’t nothing sacred ’ ‘ that got me fucked up ’ ‘ i know that dude just saw me naked ’ ‘ fake it ‘til you make it ’

SAME SIDE

‘ how come i can’t leave you? ’ ‘ i feel like i am tied down to someone who’s making me cry more than making me smile ’ ‘ i don’t want you. i hate you, i think. but i don’t wanna be alone either ’ ‘ you’re such an asshole, but i see a prince ’ ‘ i’m a good girl, but you see a bitch ’ ‘ i wanna make love, you wanna burn a bridge ’ ‘ i wish i was a bad guy ’ ‘ we could be fighting on the same side ’ ‘ you said you would be out of my life ’ ‘ you used to be paradise ’ ‘ you used to be where i would go to hide from people who treat me how you treated me ’ ‘ i don’t believe you ’ ‘ sorry i’m not your ex ’ ‘ i’m sorry i’m lacking self-respect ’ ‘ should’ve left you when you started hopping beds ’ ‘ i’m sorry, i swear that i tried my best ’ ‘ can’t you be sorry instead? ’

ROOF

‘ it be skinny dudes packing those anacondas ’ ‘ i’m a fucking monster ’ ‘ everything i do hits the roof ’ ‘ i got nothing to lose ’ ‘ you lucky i don’t want your man ’ ‘ never really ever had a high like this ’

DOPE

‘ tell me do you need a teacher? ’ ‘ i know i got what you need ’ ‘ i know what you like ’ ‘ that shit dope ’ ‘ come here hot boy ’ ‘ it’s only bad if you get caught ’ ‘ pull that trigger ’ ‘ put that drink down ’

BEFORE LOVE CAME TO KILL US

‘ i love you in the worst way ’ ‘ you knock me down like a heavyweight ’ ‘ we fell in love ’ ‘ nobody gets out of love alive ’ ‘ we either break up or we say goodbye when we die ’ ‘ for a moment at least, i know you were mine ’ ‘ winter comes and roses don’t survive ’ ‘ it’s getting late and i should go ’ ‘ i wanna hold you ’ ‘ we’re not supposed to but i can’t learn my lesson ’ ‘ i miss when you were my best friend ’ ‘ i think about you everyday ’ ‘ life’s good and i’m getting paid ’ ‘ when i miss you i medicate ’

LOVE IN THE DARK

‘ we’re only humans, floating on a rock ’ ‘ i think you are made of stardust ’ ‘ you put up with so much ’ ‘ the sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all ’ ‘ our lives are running out ’ ‘ i’ll be there to pull you back up ’ ‘ i’m nothing without you ’ ‘ i won’t leave you alone ’ ‘ there’s love in the dark ’ ‘ i’d do anything to relive our memories ’ ‘ i thank god for everything that you showed me ’

I DO

‘ we let this castle fall down, what a tragedy ’ ‘ do i still live in your head? ’ ‘ do you still live with regrets? ’ ‘ because i do ’ ‘ i do ’ ‘ do you got something on your chest? ’ ‘ do you wish we weren’t finished yet? ’ ‘ come bring me all your sins ’ ‘ put a band-aid on the scars ’ ‘ would you give me your heart again? ’ ‘ if i could just see you. we don’t even have to talk ’ ‘ i’ll take an argument ’ ‘ all i want is a familiar face ’ ‘ i’d much rather hurt from familiar pain ’

FIGURES

‘ i gave you ride or die and you gave me games ’ ‘ i’m crying ‘cause you just won’t change ’ ‘ i gave it all and you gave me shit ’ ‘ i wish i could hurt you back ’ ‘ what would you do if you couldn’t get me back? ’ ‘ you’re the one who’s gonna lose something so special ’ ‘ tell me boy how in the fuck would you feel? ’ ‘ i’m the bad guy because i can’t learn to trust ’ ‘ you say sorry once and you think it’s enough ’ ‘ i got a lineup of girls and a lineup of guys begging for me just to give them a try ’ ‘ i’m willing to stay because i’m sick for your love ’

FAR AWAY II

‘ i think you’re the love of my life ’ ‘ i feel like i need you tonight beside me ’ ‘ i feel what you feel when you’re far away ’ ‘ i ran out of heart, don’t got feelings ’ ‘ you left your panties and bra right under my pillow ’ ‘ you gonna stay on me until i’m finished ’ ‘ your body won’t say stop ’ ‘ you feel it in your soul ’ ‘ i fuck with your vibe ’ ‘ i never meant to do you dirty or make you cry ’ ‘ you’re just my type ’ ‘ like the love of my life ’ ‘ i care about you so much it’s kinda scary ’ ‘ I’m happy that it’s happening ’ ‘ i just miss you ’

WORTH SAVING

‘ you’re trying to leave while you can ’ ‘ i might be worth saving ’ ‘ when you come back i might not be here waiting ’ ‘ didn’t you say that your mama liked me? ’ ‘ there ain’t gonna be one like me ’ ‘ don’t let me go too easy ’ ‘ i’m not the easiest ’ ‘ to be real i don’t blame you for leaving me ’ ‘ all my friends, they hate your guts ’ ‘ i’m here defending all you’ve done ’ ‘ i’m not the easiest, don’t even blame your dumbass for leaving me ’

SUGAR AT NIGHT

‘ i could blame your parents, but you’re grown now ’ ‘ a couple vodka’s and you lose all control ’ ‘ if it ain’t about you, you just peace and zone out ’ ‘ it’s such a joke to hope that you could just be normal ’ ‘ you’ll never make me a bride ’ ‘ you just give me fight scenes ’ ‘ you always take away my smile ’ ‘ you always fuck up my dreams ’ ‘ sometimes i wish that you’d never entered my life ’ ‘ you had a wild light ’ ‘ embarrassed when i had to call you my guy ’ ‘ you stole my good years ’ ‘ i could’ve dodged your cheating and some bad scars ’

NO ONE’S IN THE ROOM

‘ i’d go to church every sunday ’ ‘ teenage love still took my virgin skin ’ ‘ after my first time i cried ’ ‘ after my first time i cried because i thought heaven wouldn’t let me in ’ ‘ the priest has got a boyfriend ’ ‘ the teachers smoke weed after school ’ ‘ when you’re young they try to keep you in cages ’ ‘ most of them don’t follow their own rules ’ ‘ i need to talk to god there’s just some things that i don’t understand ’ ‘ who am i when no one’s in the room? ’ ‘ does the voice in my head that talks me off a ledge belong to me? ’ ‘ vices only pacify for the moment ’ ‘ vices that they made to hold our pain ’ ‘ spend your whole life being graded ’ ‘ you’re not enough ’

#ask meme #inbox meme #jessie reyez #lyric meme #rpc #sentence meme #*

[fablesrose]

Of Kings and Shadows VI

Chapter VI

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: On Wattpad –> Here

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Man, this thing is so itchy'

I wiggled a finger into the brace around my neck, trying to reach the itch in vain.

Every time my mind was drawn to the brace, or my neck, in general, I thought about Loki. Thor talked to me within the week, apologizing, and explaining what had happened.

"It's no excuse, of course..." He said

"But I guess this means that he doesn't have it out for me?" I tried to stay lighthearted, but couldn't help shifting the brace. I winced when I pulled a little hard, straining the weak flesh beneath.

Thor chuckled weakly, "something like that"

"Well I'll make sure not to participate in infiltration missions anytime soon, and if I do, change quickly"

"You shouldn't be on any missions anytime soon. You need to rest and get back to strength, Y/n"

"I appreciate it, and I will, your Highness"

"Good, but please, just Thor"

I simply smiled.

Flash forward a couple of weeks, in the infirmary for a check-up. They needed to see how my neck was healing and to get an idea when I can live without the brace. They keep saying I was lucky. No neurological damage, a moment longer, or harder and he might have broken my voice box, causing voice changes, and the miracle of not having any of the worse side effects. No bloody vomit, no personality changes, I didn't lose consciousness, it doesn't look like I'm going to have seizures. Only a minor concussion, no long-lasting effects.

They keep saying that, I'm lucky, but if I had just taken the jacket off. Left the helmet in the locker room. It wouldn't have happened in the first place. Just because I was stubborn. Some times it still seems strange to be able to take in a deep breath. Time and time again, I have to shake my head, dispel the uncomfortable feelings, flinch at the twinge at my throat.

I didn't feel so lucky.

"Y/n?"

I looked up to where a friendly woman was calling for me to come into the room. I never enjoyed doctor appointments, I mean who does? I feel like I'm complaining, and I always feel uncomfortable telling these things to a stranger. It's almost worse with someone you know... You see them again and they can judge you.

"Y/n, you need to relax. We can't asses the state of your [big word that I didn't catch... something in my neck] if you are straining your neck."

She had taken the brace off, and to be honest, I felt like a newborn. My head was too big for my body, and it was going to tip over, taking me with it. The only thing keeping my head up was the immense amount of effort I was putting into keeping it there.

"I know it seems weak, but it's stronger than you think. You need to relax"

I opened my mouth and stretched my jaw, trying to get the muscles to relax. Not just for her either, they were starting to painfully cramp. "I'm sorry, I'm trying. It's not working"

After about five minutes of me trying and failing to relax, she gave up.

"Okay, we're gonna have to try a different approach. I should be able to look at it without your cooperation"

I blanched, "wait... What"

Another woman came in with some equipment and a form.

"Sign this please"

I looked over it quickly, signing it with the pen she gave me. "What is this"

"Don't worry, it isn't dangerous. The form just says you are allowing us to do this and won't sue if things go awry. Which it won't" she continued to get it in the right position next to me. It looked like an IV bag, but there was obviously something else in it.

"That isn't comforting"

The doctor took a needle and the tourniquet to my arm. Then attached the bag. Only after did she turn to me and say, "well, this will be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint walked down the hall, towards the infirmary. Y/n was supposed to have her follow up around this time and thought he would check-in and see what the doc said when she got out since he had a break. He walked into the waiting room to see Y/n looking puzzled at the ground. She waved a hand in front of her as if she was trying to grab something she couldn't quite see.

"Y/n!"

She looked up and smiled before doing a more forceful slap in the air. "Hi Clint"

"Are you okay? Have you gone in already?"

"Yes and yes, I have just seemed to have lost my desk"

Clint looked around just to make sure that he was in the infirmary, questioning himself first before the girl in front of him.

"Um, Y/n, you aren't at your desk "

She glared at him, which caused him to step back, "Well obviously Clint!" She  gestured at the space in front of her, "Because I lost it!"

He sighed and walked up to what one could call a receptionist, "Hey, can I take her?" Clint threw a thumb back at the confused girl sitting behind him.

The guy at the desk looked around Clint to Y/n. "Hey, miss L/n?"

She peaked her head up at the sound of her name, "Yes, sir?"

He smiled with a patience that can only be blessed with one who has dealt with way more whacked up patients, "Do you know this guy?"

"Yeah, that's Clint. Barton. Agent Barton"

"Is it okay if you go with him?"

"Yeah, as long as he helps me find my desk"

The receptionist straightened himself in his seat and fixed his gaze on Clint, "So, she seems okay with it, so I'm gonna have to get your ID and fill this release form."

Clint handed him his SHIELD ID to be scanned and started filling out the form. Once he was done he took his ID and walked back over to where Y/n was sitting... Only to find she wasn't sitting there anymore.

Clint snapped around to the guy at the desk.  He just shrugged his shoulders with wide eyes, organizing the papers he got handed.

Snapping back around he said the only thing that fit the occasion, "well, shit"

Y/n wandered the hall, her lost desk long forgotten. She was hungry, and could not for the life of her remember where the kitchen was. It didn't help that the hallways kept changing like the labyrinth. She kept a hand reaching for a wall, occasionally steadying her. She followed the walls, hoping to find somewhere that had food. Soon she started to lose time and stopped paying attention to where she was going.

That was until she bumped into someone, to which she stopped and looked up at him. He seemed familiar.

"Oh, Y/n" He paused and looked at the brace around her neck, "I will just apologize for--"

"What's your name again?"

He looked down at her, baffled, "Loki"

Her eyes widened, eyebrows raised, and her mouth formed a perfect little "o" in realization, "That's right, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, Your Highness." She continued down the hall, now actively looking for the kitchen once she was startled awake per se.

Loki just watched after her confused. That was not how he expected their first conversation to go after... Not that he was planning it, but he had some ideas, and that was not one of them. After a moment he continued down the hall but was stopped again by someone else bumping into him. Loki scowled, why couldn't anyone watch where they were going?

Clint had a hand on the wall and was bent over panting as if he had been sprinting for a while. "Loki! Have you seen Y/n?"

He looked at him with ruffled eyebrows and dragged out his answer, "yes?"

Clint instantly straightened, "Where'd she go? I have liability over her at the moment and she disappeared on me."

Loki pointed down the hall to where he had spoken to her, still very much confused.

Clint dashed along the wall leaving Loki without another word. Loki had a debate in his head, and by the end of it he sighed and took off after him. It didn't take long for Loki to catch up and pass Clint with his fresh and very long legs. He eventually skidded to a stop when he found the target, still wandering with no idea where she was going.

"Y/n! There you are."

She turned at the call of her name, right as Clint caught up. "Oh hi, your highness."

Clint gasped and turned to Loki in betrayal, "what'd you do to her"

"I didn't do anything! Why's she like this in the first place?"

"Hi Agent Barton"

Clint turned his attention back to his charge, "Oh, she's just doing that thing she does." He walked up to her and looped an arm around her shoulders, making sure she didn't go anywhere, "Hey, let's get you to the common room, then we can figure out what to do with you."

"Is there food in the common room?"

"If you want there to be"

She perked up even more, "Lead the way to the food"

The three of them walked around the building to the common room, an amazing feat of navigation from Y/n's point of view. They sat her down on the couch, Loki making sure she didn't go anywhere while Clint went into the kitchen. He came back with a bag of potato chips and handed it to Y/n.

"Why is she like this? She isn't even scared of me"

"They did something to her during her check-up... I wouldn't feel too bad, she was sitting in a chair in the infirmary thinking she had lost her desk"

"Hmm"

They just stood there and watched as she ate her chips, trying to figure out what to do with her.

"What's she doing?"

"Hey Tasha, " Clint turned to the newcomer, "she's fresh from her follow up in the infirmary. I'm thinking they doped her up, so she's pretty out of whack."

"I'm on drugs?!"

Clint approached her slowly, "No! What I mean is--"

"No! I can't! Have you seen how many commercials there are??" She sobbed and looked up at Natasha, "I can't be a warning Agent Romanoff!!"

Natasha sat down next to her, "Its Natasha sweetie, you're not going to be a warning"

Y/n didn't listen, "I failed *crunch* the *crunch* D.A.R.E. program... *more crunching from chewing potato chips*"

"Oh dear" Loki, Natasha, and Clint all looked at each other, it's gonna be a long day.

Over the next hour, all the Avengers gathered in the common room to try and calm Y/n down, but nothing seemed to be working.

"I promised my parents..." That caused her to cry even more, and Bruce handed her a glass of water. "Thank you, Dr. Banner." As she drank the water she began to calm down like a miracle. She finished the glass and let out a small sniff, "I'm gonna get fired..."

They all sighed, here we go again.

"If I'm fired I won't ever get to see you guys again..."

They all paused, touched that even in her clouded brain she would think of all of them.

Tony was the first to speak, "Don't worry kid, you can't get rid of us that easily"

Everyone either nodded or voiced their agreeance, except Loki. He simply shrugged, he had no attachment to her.

Y/n reached up to scratch her neck, but just scratched the brace. She put both hands around it and felt the stiff fabric, "why is my neck so big?" She tried to take it off, but Clint stopped her.

"nonononono, leave that on. It's better than it was before. The brace is less thick this time."

"My neck was thicker?!"  

"Okay!" Tony stood up from his chair, "I'm gonna ask what the crap is going on with her when it'll wear off"

Loki stood after Tony had left and started towards his room.

"Brother! Where are you going?"

"To my room to be alone"

A chorus sounded behind him, "Nope! You get to deal with her with us!"

"May I ask why?"

"Cuz you're the one who got her in this situation"

He sighed and flopped back down into his chair, summoning a book to read.

"OH! I like books. What is that one"

Loki looked at the childlike wonder in the drugged woman on the couch, "One you wouldn't understand"

There was a moment of silence, "Probably true sir" She looked down at her lap, "I want a blanket"

Loki turned back to his book while someone got up to grab Y/n a blanket.

"Why don't you tell me what the crap is going on with Y/n!?"

The doctor who treated Y/n calmly replied to Tony, "what do you mean?"

"Why did you give her so much morphine?"

"We haven't given her morphine in over two weeks"

"Then what did you give her?"

"We brought in the anesthesiologist and put her under in order for her to relax"

"Why didn't you give her something like laughing gas or something that wears off faster?"

She looked him dead in the eyes, not wavering, "Because Mr. Stark, it was my call, and we don't have that equipment here. The injuries we usually tend to are large enough for them to be put under to deal with. I suggest you don't question the medical doctor in the room"

Tony sighed and took a step back.

The doctor turned and whispered to the nurse next to her, "and the author thought it would be funny"

"What was that about an author?"

She smiled, "I was simply talking to her about my favorite book and author that I follow. It was a continuation of before you arrived."

"So how long... when will the effects wear off?"

"She should be ready to drive home by the end of the day"

He closed his eyes and huffed out a breath, "Thank Thor"

Tony reentered the common room ready to relay the news. It was almost picturesque, the whole team there, supporting a mutual friend. She was wrapped up in a blanket, carefully eating a cheese stick. Everyone seemed tired, just enough energy to make sure she didn't runoff.

Tony smiled and took the last available spot next to Steve. "She should be ready to go by the end of the day."

"That's good news. It seems like the effects are starting to wear off already."

Everyone relaxed, a quiet afternoon ahead of them. Surrounded by the people they worked with and cared about, it didn't turn out to be a rotten day. Everyone was ready for a nap though, dealing with Y/n's behaviors. So they started to doze.

Quiet

Peaceful

Comforting

"Wait! Where's my desk!?"

Tags: @nightrose64

#loki odinson #loki x reader #loki fanfic #avengersfanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x you #tony stark #natasharomanoff #bruce banner #clint barton #thor #Steve Rogers #marvel #Of Kings and Shadows

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

/1/ /2/ /3/ /4/ /5/ /6/ /7/ /8/ /9/ /10/ /11/ /12/ /13/ /14/ /15/ /16/ /17/ /18/ /19/ /20/ /21/ /22/ /23/ /24/ /25/ /26/

A/N: It’s soft, it’s Christmas time. It’s Jamie and Noble opening presents on the phone together because why not? Thank you to @cards-onthetable whose idea it was for Jamie to include a gift for Bianca. I hope this eases your mouth pain even for a moment.

Chapter 27.

“I’m gonna be pissed if it’s broken. Is it broken?” I wonder, propping the phone between my ear and shoulder as I drag a retractable blade across the top of the box that I had come home to the day before.

“I don’t know,” Noble chuckles. “I can only see something sitting propped up against my door. I just pulled in the driveway.  Don’t open yours yet!”

“Alright.” My shoulders lift and I leave the box there on my coffee table without peering inside. “I’m excited, okay?”

“Were you the kind of kid who tore through like, five presents on Christmas morning before anyone realized you weren’t waiting for everyone else to take turns?”

I grin, pacing over to the living room window. “No. Are you kidding? That was Danny.”

“Oh, right right,” Noble muses. “Then you probably took the longest because you’d open one thing and be immediately obsessed with it, reading the instructions or whatever and couldn’t bring yourself to move on to the next one.”

“What is this analysis of my personality? I thought you were just using me for my body.”

“For the most part I am. But then I went and fell in love with you.”

“Rookie mistake,” I mutter. “And yes, that’s exactly how I was.”

“Alright, there’s a box,” he lists. “And then another like, big rectangle thing here from you.”

“Okay, I just hope the rectangle thing’s not broken.”

“We’ll find out.” He manages and I can hear him move to get everything inside the house.

A few weeks ago, Noble and I had briefly considered not exchanging gifts for Christmas. The oh no, I don’t need anything excuses didn’t last long, though once the season really hit and we both just sort of gave in to the temptation. Usually gift buying stresses me out. It’s too much pressure. My rational conscious always overanalyzes whether something is practical or necessary, or something they already have, or something they wouldn’t use, and it takes the fun out of the whole process. But this year, I couldn’t help but get excited. Figuring out something Noble would like was fun for me and it had been a long time since I’d put that much sentimental effort into getting a gift for someone.

Once I found out he was going on vacation over the holiday, I scrambled to get everything shipped in time for him to open it before he left.

“So am I opening yours, or are you opening mine first?” He wonders, then decides, “Open one of mine.”

Amused, I make my way back over to the coffee table and assess the contents of the large box he sent, pulling out the brown packing paper. “Okay, I’m opening the big one.” Inside are three wrapped gifts and a card. “And I'm putting you on speaker.”

Sitting on the couch, I pull the wide, shallow gift box onto my lap and begin to tear off its pine green paper. I take off the lid, move aside the tissue paper and find a black canvas, almost tactical looking backpack. “Oh sweet.”

“Is that the backpack?”

“Yeah man.”

“I thought it'd be good for all that weekend traveling.”

“To visit my side-piece poolboy? It's perfect.”

“Hey, it's lawnboy not poolboy. There's a difference,” he corrects. “And I'm making a mental note because side-piece lawnboy is definitely some role play I'm down for.”

“Yeah, same here,” I muse while I inspect the zippered pockets. “Hey believe it or not, the backpack I've been using I've had since college so--”

“Oh I'm in total shock, sweetheart,” he deadpans.

I have to laugh. “But this one is way better. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

“Open one from me,” I instruct. “And there’s one in there for Bianca. Just… if you want to give that to her when you see her.”

He utters this rumbling “Aww--”

“Yeah, yeah,” I sigh.

“That’ll mean a lot. That’s sweet.”

“It’s like an etched, stemless wine glass and I put a bunch of red Starburst in it, so--”

“God,” he exhales, almost miffed. “You little shit. You’re gonna make me have feelings for you.”

I smirk. “Hopefully that one didn’t break either.”

“And hey, she drinks wine out of a coffee mug, so that’ll be a definite upgrade. She'll love it. I’ll make sure she gets it before we head to the airport tomorrow.”

“Alright, good. Now open one of yours. The big rectangle.”

“You mean the broken one?”

I panic. “It's broken?”

With a soft chuckle he assures me, “I'm kidding. No I don't think so.” Then I hear him go to work pulling off the paper until it's quiet for a second.

“Oh hey now--” He starts. “It's your neighborhood. Did you take this picture?”

“Yes.”

“And you had it framed. Dude, this is dope,” he raves in almost this sing-song. “I love it so much.”

“Good.” I sit back on my couch and think about the photograph, blown up to sixteen-by-twenty, that I thought would make a cool print for his house. “A little Brooklyn for you down in Miami.”

“Well when I really need some Brooklyn down in Miami, I'll get your ass a plane ticket.”

“Since you can't hang my ass up in your living room, that might be a better alternative.”

“Look at you,” he muses. “With the photography skills. I love that street, by the way. Damn, that's some homesick shit I wasn't ready for.”

The historic district where I live, with all it's charming pre-war rowhouses and quiet streets, looks good captured in black and white. Down my block, it's only a short walk to the promenade that stretches along the East River where we had roamed around a little one morning the last time he was here.

“Your turn,” Noble speaks up. “Open another one.”

“There's a card here--”

“No-no-no, open that later. Don't open that on the phone with me. It's gross.”

With a pleased little smile, looking forward to reading that on my own, I set the sealed envelope aside. “Mmkay. I'll do this medium-sized one.”

“Don't give me a hard time about it,” he warns. “I think I have a firm grasp on what kind of nerd you are but--”

“Hey,” I groan in protest as I tear open the package. “You got a complaint?”

“No, you didn't hear me complain--”

“Oh good because I was about to tell you where you can put it.”

“You can always tell me where to put it, Jamie.”

Tilting my head back, I dig my teeth into my bottom lip and take a moment to appreciate him. “Are you really about to leave the country for five days? Because I… miss you in such a dumbass way.”

His laugh through the phone makes me smile as I finish pulling off the paper. “I miss you regardless.”

“Yeah but you'll be off swimming with dolphins and snorkeling or whatever and too busy to remember me suffering in this city at Christmas time.”

He scoffs. “Oh please. Don't you know me at all? I'll be day drinking and taking naps on the beach.”

“Strangely, that's a hotter visual for me,” I reason. “Okay I'm opening this. Let's see what kind of nerd you think I am.” Tearing open the package, I inspect the rattling box, my eyebrows lifting eagerly. “A wooden fractal puzzle? Hell yes, bro.”

On the other end of the line, he cracks up. “That thing looks like torture, so if you want nothing to do with it, I understand--”

“No way, man. I'm gonna do it right now.” After I pull off the plastic wrapping, I examine the intricately cut geometric looking design on the lid.

“If nothing else, it'll look cool on your coffee table.”

“I really do like it though,” I decide.

“Well good.”

“Now do the bigger one from me.”

“Alright,” he agrees.

“You’re gonna give me shit about this one,” I preface while I hear him tear the paper. “But I know you don’t have one and I’m kind of upset about it.”

After a moment, he laughs. “You got me a flashlight.” He states it with amusement more than curiosity.

“Because you’ve said before you don’t even have one. Which I can’t believe considering you live in a damn hurricane capital--”

“And you sent batteries with it!” Then he groans, “Ugh, you’re cute.”

“I’m prepared.”

“This is a pretty badass Maglite, though.”

“There’s more,” I tell him.

“Oh my god,” he mutters as I hear him shift around the paper inside the box to find it. “Is this a fucking Swiss Army knife?” And then he cackles one of his loud laughs that triggers one of mine.

“Hey, you needed one of those too!”

“Oh, who’s gonna fuck with me now?” He teases.

“Nobody when you’re carrying that piece.”

“I’ve never had one of these,” he says and I can tell he’s inspecting it. “Shit, this thing’s kind of intense. Out on the town and need a screwdriver? Check. Carving wood on the go? Check.”

“You can gut a fish with it,” I suggest.

“With a blade like that? Good lord,” he laughs.

“I'm just saying you could. If you had to.”

“You fucking savage,” he murmurs and the low note in that accusation makes my lips twitch. “I’ll leave that to you when we up and move to the frontier.”

I glance down with a satisfied smile. “Mmkay. Well we've got a flashlight and a puzzle. So let's go.”

“The last present for you is very important, then,” he notes. “It'll come in handy when we’re in the wilderness.”

“Oh jeez.” I take out the remaining package from him. Pulling off the paper reveals a black and red metal canister with little silver hearts all over it. “Sexy Truth or Dare?” I question him and just hearing me saying it elicits another heavy chuckle from him.

“Hell yeah.”

I shake my head with a laugh as I give it a glance and screw off the top. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You wanna play?”

I consider it. “Next time you’re here, maybe.” My answer is murmured absently since I’ve already started to pull out the flat sticks printed with the various prompts. “If you had to choose between only oral sex or only penetrative sex for the rest of your life,” I recite, “which one would you pick?”

Noble can only answer with a disapproving groan.

I continue, pulling out another one. “What is the largest age gap you’ve had between you and someone you’ve had sex with?”

His next groan is even louder. “Oh shit--”

“Ha!” I cough. “Do you know the last name of everyone you’ve had sex with?”

“Damn!” I can hear the grimace in his voice and it cracks me up. “I feel attacked.”

I let out a weary moan and rub my eyes. “Oh man, I’m gonna get answers to so many things I never wanted to know.”

“Wait, read a dare. I’m way better at those.”

Clearing my throat, I flip the sticks over that I had pulled out. “Do your best to make me orgasm in the next five minutes--”

“Easy. I could do that from here.”

“Mm-hm,” I hum, before I read the next. “Fuck me in a room where we’ve never had sex before.”

“Oh-ho! Now we’re talking.”

“That’s hard. I don’t have many rooms.”

“Next time you’re here, we’ll go do it at Bianca’s place while she’s at work.”

“Nice.” The I pull out another one. “Wait a minute. Pretend you’re a cop and arrest me for the crime of being too sexy--”

He shouts another laugh. “Yes, please. I’ve always wanted to.”

“We’ll see if I let you.”

Gradually, his amusement tapers off and he lets out a heavy sigh. “Those are hilarious.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty good,” I agree.

“If I come up there and we get snowed in, we can have a game night.”

“I like that.” Clearing away some of the wrapping from my couch, I move to consolidate all the unwrapped gifts on my table.

“Well thank you,” he starts. “For my awesome presents. I love everything.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for mine,” I tell him, getting up to take some of the trash to my kitchen, bringing the phone with me. “You all ready to leave tomorrow?”

“Pretty much. It’s like an hour flight. And then it should be a pretty chill few days.”

“Take lots of pictures.”

“Of me in a lounge chair? Alright I will.”

“I wouldn’t turn those down.” I smile. “But it is Christmas, so I hope you’ll be more generous than that when it comes to the pictures you send me.”

#jamie x noble #festive gift giving joble #this chapter is unnecessary but fun and they have so much love to give

[shinee-freefalling]

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself - fan account

I saw BTS perform at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday 9th October 2018, and it was simply amazing. I’ll do my best to tell you all about it.

Before the show (the boring bit in which I try not to misrepresent the realities of the standing experience - potentially useful if you’ll be attending a show with standing tickets)

The truth is that the day of the show… had its challenges. My group of friends and I had standing tickets and we chose to commit ourselves to getting to the O2 by 5 am (which involved waking up at 2.30 am lol - it was like getting up to go to the airport) to be in with a chance of being somewhere near the front of the pit. Queuing had its ups and downs (trying to avoid giving too much detail on this as I don’t want to give room for negativity), but ultimately, for me, a lot of excitement built up and it was an opportunity to practise our fan chants, even if it was a pretty tiring experience.

Once the doors opened at 5 pm and we were admitted into the arena, we were over the moon at managing to get a spot in the fourth row from the front, right near the middle stage (diamond-shaped), which is pretty much exactly where we’d hoped to end up. Unfortunately, although perhaps inevitably, it did later become clear that there was going to be a lot of pushing from the back of the pit. One of my friends sadly got completely separated from the rest of us for the duration of the concert, ending up in about the tenth row back. The rest of us got separated from one another too, though we were lucky enough to be able to somewhat maintain our position nearer the front.

I’ve got to admit that in spite of the level of pushing (and, at times, elbowing) that occurred, there maybe actually was something to be gained from the intensity and vigour of the crowd. It was at least made clear that Bangtan are incredibly loved, that all of UK ARMY want to be close with them, and there was something unifying in that.

Showtime

I’ve wasted time making excuses when all I really want to say is that I had the best time of my life and loved every second of the concert from the moment it started to the moment BTS left the stage.

I’d seen Bangtan before (at KCON Paris in 2016), but had kinda forgotten what it’s like to be there in the same room with them, to look at them and see them with your own two eyes, no cameras or computer screens intervening. As one of my friends said to me on the tube home, they look exactly as they do in their pictures and videos, completely beautiful, but the difference is that they became real. All of that masculinity, attitude and (forgive me) sex appeal that gets dampened by the process of recording and broadcasting became tangible, and it was kinda electrifying.

Songs (with commentary)

The setlist for the night was setlist B, so the songs were:

Idol (The first song!!!! They launched straight into it and did their introductions afterwards.)

Save Me (It became apparent that people really know the words of their songs, and there was even fan chanting going on, not even just singing along. It was so fun to be part of the ARMY ocean with everybody. Namjoon’s part was super popular.)

I’m Fine (I was NOT fine.)

Magic Shop (JK introduced his song for ARMY, giving me the chance to tell BTS that I promise to give me the best of me. Thank you BTS. Such a beautiful moment of my life.)

Trivia: Just Dance (Solo stages!!!! And Hobi, you sexy. How can you go from ‘I’m your hope, you’re my hope’ to this??? That elevated stage dance though - you must’ve been scared… and you didn’t lose your footing or get out of breathe? Wizard)

Euphoria (JK sang from his chair, which probably killed him inside but it was just very moving and somehow didn’t detract from the performance at all, such is the level of his vocals. Being with JK together in that song, well, for me, it was utopia.)

I Need U (I think this is when I almost fainted lol)

Run (Yeah still fainting - oh dear)

Serendipity (‘GEUNYANG GEUNYANG!!!!!’ HOLY SHIT JIMINNNNNNNNN. He freakin played us ALL. Like I was never a fan of excessive floor humping dance moves until this day. Now I am, like 3000% a fan.)

Trivia: Love (So this is one of my favourite of their new songs and I’d heard it wasn’t that popular in concert but our crowd went wild for it. We were all right there with the PQRST, it was mad. I hope Namjoon felt our love.)

DNA (Yoongi’s part and then V’s made us lose our shit.)

Boyz with Fun (Medley time! And I mean, who can resist a bit of ‘heungtan sonyeondan’? Such a lovely throwback to Paris, I was filled with memories of me and my bestie. Love this song so much because of that.)

Attack on Bangtan (A lot of water was being handed out at this point to keep us hydrated. My memories are blurry.)

Fire (They didn’t do the choreo until 3.33, then they hella did the choreo.)

Silver Spoon (THEY DID BAEPSAE!!! Weren’t we lucky?! Namjoon came right up to the edge of the stage and attacked with some… select parts of the choreo 😂 - I was LIVING.)

Dope (This was so clearly an audience favourite. I think maybe because a lot of people got into Bangtan for the first time because of this song? At least that was the case for me. ‘Eoseo wa bangtaneun cheoeumiji?’ NEEEEEEE)

Airplane Pt. 2 (Finally, BTS can say ‘London to Paris’ and really mean it. JK sitting in his chair actually worked well for this one, he did a lot of upper body wiggling and it was great.)

Singularity (V was a solo artist with this - unreal levels of artistry, individuality and professionalism.)

Fake Love (I had the realisation that this is like my favourite BTS stage ever. The choreo in real life was just mind-blowing, the movements were so unbelievable and fluid. It was only just really sad that Jungkookie couldn’t be a part of it, I’m sure he wanted to. The fan chants were mad with this one btw - I think there are ‘FAKE LOVE’-shaped holes in my eardrums.)

Trivia: Seesaw (Aren’t we all Yoongi stans when this song plays? That voice was pure velvet. Yoongi, we all know it now - you can really sing.)

Epiphany (Okay, I’ll admit something I’m slightly ashamed of, which is that i didn’t known Jin could be this good. And I feel bad for not expecting it to the extent I did, but he ruled the stage so hard, it was beyond expectation, definitely one of the best stages of the night. Madhyung’s voice was so strong and beautiful. What a singer.)

The Truth Untold (There was a moment of such utterly perfect harmony between JiKook, the crowd loved it.)

Outro: Tear (Yoongi loves his job, he was just so very clearly so happy to be there and was loving every second of it. The amount of stage presence and… sheer happiness that radiated rom him, it was so so lovely to see.)

Mic Drop (This was mad, we were singing along like it was the last thing we’d do, even the raps, even though it was the Korean version. And freakin ‘mic mic bungee’ was everything.)

Part of me had hoped for setlist C as Boy in Luv is one of my favourites, and there was a moment when Jimin (or was it V?) said ‘make some noise’ in the exact same way that I’ve seen them sometimes doing right before launching into ‘doegopa / neoui oppa,’ and so my heart completely leapt out of my chest. But honestly, no regrets. All the setlists are amazing and I feel SO lucky to have seen Baepsae!!

For the encore, we had the standard:

So What (‘I don’t wanna die right now, I don’t wanna fight right now, I don’t like worries, Life is long… I wanna live right now’ - thank you Namjoon 💖.)

Anpanman (Of course the crowd loved it, though I found out after the show that Jungkook apparently broke down in tears at this point. He must have been so frustrated not to be able to give it his all. ☹️)

Answer: Love Myself (‘You’ve shown me, I have reasons, I should love myself’ - the perfect ending, resolution.)

Jimin

Jimin, my bias. Thank you, Jimin. He spent so much time on our part of the stage, I was immensely grateful, especially as I’d been sad that he hadn’t seemed to come over to our part of the stage so much in Paris. Beautiful, blonde, with a such a pretty tummy (we saw flashes during Baepsae). Charismatic but rude, he was giving all kinds of eye contact to the crowd, so much fan service, in fact they all made a point of doing this and it was so kind, the way they made sure to make us feel seen and heard. Though their gazes (mostly) weren’t soft at all, so hard and piercing. I feel blessed but also somehow humiliated by having been present in their line of sight.

Jimin maintained a cool facade for much of the concert (I mean, he is the coolest after all), but occasionally that true, sweet smile would break through (like at the end of Serendipity, probs cause he knew we needed something to recover) or when speaking to the members (playing with / comforting Jungkook, bothering Namjoon).

Not meaning to be rude or anything, because it’s something I totally love about him, but Jimin is massively attention hogging on stage and you can totally see why the other members like to (semi-pretend) complain about him, yet admire him so much for his stage presence and performance ability. He was always present just seemingly everywhere on stage, and so commanding. Born to perform, I swear. And stealing everyone else’s moments too, especially Namjoon, whose choreographed high kicks he matched at one point, before adding one extra (extra high) kick of his own, then going on to pinch Namjoon’s cheeks and poke his dimples during Namjoon’s ment. At one point, he came up behind Namjoon so suddenly that Namjoon didn’t know he was there and accidentally hit him in the face. Jimin pretended to be stunned and touched his face as if to confirm it had happened before moving on - it was just so cuteee. 

Ending ments

BTS closed the show with their ending ments. The members taking the time to speak to us as individuals and at length was so special, it was maybe even my favourite part of the whole entire thing. To be able to experience Bangtan live, member by member, just as we know them to be, just as they are… it was just so special.

Something I haven’t mentioned yet (although I’m sure anybody reading this who cares to know will already know) is that Jungkook was injured. We got an announcement at about ten minutes before the concert was due to start explaining that Jungkook had collided with furniture while doing some light stretches not two hours before the show started, and so although it wasn’t a serious injury, he had been told that it would be against medical advice to perform choreography that night. Throughout the concert, he was therefore sat in a chair and not able to participate in the dances or come to the front of the stage. During his ending ment, Jungkookie explained (through the translator) that he had originally prepared something to say in English but chose to speak in Korean so that he could speak to us sincerely from his heart. He apologised for not being able to perform and promised that now he had experienced it, being here with us, he would make sure that it never happened again. Of course, we shouted that it wasn’t his fault, which Namjoon also told him (‘Jungkook, it’s not your fault,’ clear and simple), and we shouted that we loved him. A chant of Jeon Jungkook broke out and Jungkook just bent over with head down so that all we could see was the back of his neck growing red as he cried. Jimin in his ment teased that Jungkook would go back and cry all night after this, and counted us in to ‘tell Jungkook you love him.’ I’m sad he cried but I’m glad we managed to show him how much we love him, that our words reached him. In spite of being injured, Jungkookie was clearly just so done with sitting by the end and did get up and walk around a bit at the front of the stage to try and properly say goodbye (this was during Answer: Love Myself, I think). Jungkookie, I hope you won’t be hurt for long and that you will be back to doing what you love in no time. Get better soon and thank you for everything.

Jungkookie wasn’t the only member to cry. I’m pretty sure Jin and V also teared up at the end. So you know, they were feeling it too. And Jimin’s ment had me crying also, I literally took one look at him as his turn came to speak and started bawling. It was quite embarrassing having to shout ‘we love you’ and ‘you’re my hero’ with a voice full of tears but I did it anyway and I hope he realised how much we love him.

BTS in London

I never expected that they’d come here until they did. I didn’t think we’d be able to get tickets until we did. Namjoon said that London is a place they’ve always wanted to come to. Jimin said that it was his first time in London. Namjoon promised that they will come back next year, which was just the most wonderful thing to hear. Jimin said they were supposed to come last year but couldn’t. Someone, maybe Yoongi or maybe V, said that London was a beautiful place, but we (ARMY) were the most beautiful thing about it. It was definitely Yoongi who said, in classic Yoongi style, that they would need a bigger stadium next time. What a total burn to the O2 arena, clearly not big enough to accommodate the size of Yoongi’s ambition. 😂

Overall

Bangtan’s is a position of immense privilege, but they hold it with such grace. They demonstrate such professionalism and kindness, yet at the same time are goddam sexy and frankly brutal in their stage personas. I am so grateful to know them and to be their fan. We were so lucky to get tickets to see their show, to get the chance to say thank you and show them our love. Bangtan, you’re my inspiration; Jimin, you’re my hero. When I need to love myself, you take me there and show me how. When I need to work on myself, you show me how to do that too. Thank you for being together with me always in your music, and making an ‘us’ together with ARMY: ‘Thank you, uri ga dwae jwoseo.’

Moments

Yoongi sprayed water on us first, and rather aggressively too. Then J-Hope did it too. Thank you for showering me (with your love). 😂

Jimin pushed back V’s hair back when he was wearing his bandana during the encore. So cuteee

Jimin took out Jungkook’s earpiece and whispered into his ear, saying something that caused him to smile.

Taehyung did finger guns with that classic boxy smile face right near us - it’s seared into my memory.

#BTSinLondon #BTS #Bangtan Sonyeondan #Love Yourself #BTS World Tour #Jimin #fan acc

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

Time isn’t real and somehow I am already two months on T! Woo-hoo! This one is a little bit more exciting cause I’ll include some pics at the end (and I’ll attempt to post a video for voice change too).

I won’t repeat any of the stuff from the one month update (you can read it here) but I will elaborate on things that continued to change. So here goes.

Psychological

-I feel so much better about myself and life in general - I feel like my self-esteem has finally moved on from zero and while I am still anxious a lot I feel so much happier than before

-body dysphoria is slowly starting to diminish, but social dysphoria is worse now; overall it is still less than before T

-I get frustrated/angry more easily and I am more annoyed with some things, but it doesn’t get to a point where I show it outwardly; when I feel angry, pretty soon it goes away on its own

-I haven’t cried even once since starting T; not that I haven’t felt sad or haven’t had meltdowns in these two months (I have), it’s just tears don’t form in my eyes even when I feel a lump in my throat; after some google schoolar searching, I discovered that apparently it has something to do with testosterone and prolactin levels

-my sex drive is still super high and my attraction ‘standards’ have gone down, meaning I find myself attracted to men and women I haven’t considered attractive before T; it’s... interesting, but it’s not like I’m complaining lol

Physical

-bottom growth continues to happen and I now have around 1.5-2cm of it (yes I actually measured... with a ruler...) and probably bigger when it’s erect (cause yeah trans guys get erections too); the growing sensation is peculiar but it is absolutely not painful or hurtful, more like, distracting

-I was dry as heck down there during the first month but now it is okay (and I get very wet when I’m aroused, sorry for tmi - wet AND hard, funny, huh?)

-I had a 40 day long break in between menstruation (my cycle before T was 26 days long), it was of usual volume but there were zero cramps; I also had no cramps in between; hopefully this was my last period ever

-my voice has dropped significantly; I’ll post my app screenshot at the end of this post and I’ll try to post a video comparison too (the video is me reading ‘Raven’ by Edgar Allan Poe and it is missing pieces cause I’ll make a full compilation with all pieces at my one year mark - the one i’ll post is pre-T+2 months)

-I’m getting hair everywhere: arms, legs, stomach, chest, face.... facial hair was a big surprise; it is very slight and rather ugly but damn, good result! I had a lot of body hair before so I wasn’t sure I’d get more, but I am getting more and I’m super happy with it

-I am sweaty, my hair is greasy, my acne is terrible and I stink in general - but it’s all manageable and I’m not complaining cause well, male puberty be like that sometimes

-I have gained two extra kilos, maybe even three, so now my BMI is almost 17! still bad, but not scary bad, I guess; and I’m pretty sure it is at least partially muscle cause I can see my muscles now, even though I’m working out very slightly 

Health changes:

-I definitely think a lot of my symptoms have gotten less bothersome, including:

higher blood pressure (still hypotonic but it’s a bit better)

less dizziness and fatigue

better appetite and digestion (less nausea, especially less nausea after eating)

more body strength

probably less pain since I am more active now and it hasn’t gone up

better RBC probably (haven’t had a blood test yet but I have much less shortness of breath so I guess so)

So yeah, this is pretty dope.

Evidence:

this is how voice dropping looks like! recordings are twice a week more or less; my voice is cracking all the damn time and goes up and down a lot, but it is definitely noticeably lower

and here are some very ugly photos of my pathetic facial hair!

As you can see it is mostly soft, dark-colored peach fuzz plus the beginning of awkward teenage mustache. I should start shaving...

I’ll try to post the voice comparison later.

#don't rеblog please #personal stuff #gender stuff #mattie on tumblr

[tiemeupspidey]

Vacation & Sweatpants Pt.2

(Looked dope so I’m using it)

Series: Dog Mom Life

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom, the Reader, Tessa and Harrison are on a trip to Hawaii part one adventure was on the plane ;)

Warnings: Smut, I write smuts not tragedies

- lmao i h8 myself for trying to make a joke 

Word Count:

A/N: I don’t even know if a think like this exists in Hawaii but just fake it till you make it. Fan Fiction lmao. Might make this into five parts?? Comment if you want 5 or 10 parts.

[Reader’s POV]

“Alright so you and Mr. Holland will stay here” the man gestures to the walkway leading to a big bungalow above the water. The way the candles lit the walkway was mesmerizing. The time you got here it was becoming dark here.

“As for you Mr. Osterfield, you will be in this one right across from them.. No one knows you’re here, there are no people staying in the bungalows on each side of yours so I hope you all enjoy your stay” He bows slightly before walking down the boardwalk towards the sand and hotel.

“C’mon love let’s go check the inside of the place” he smiles tugging your hand in the direction of your home for the next week and a half. Your eyes taking in the beautiful water that surrounded you and seemed to go on for miles and miles. The sunset was gorgeous as the night sky started to fall.

   Walking down the wooded walkway Tessa pushes by running towards the door. She gets to the door  before you and Tom. Turning her head she looks back at you two while her tail wags. Tessa waits for Tom to unlock the door letting her in. A happy bark echoes in the bungalow as she runs around.

   Looking around the place you and Tom find the bedroom. Setting your bags down and unzipping them. The two of you take around fifteen minutes getting everything unpacked. Once you finish you take your suitcases and put them in the closet. Tom does the same once he’s done hanging up his last article of clothing he brought.

   The sound of the water outside was so soothing. Taking off your sweater and changing into a white tank top and nike dri fit spanx. It was your go to outfit when it was hot outside. The air was warm and decided if you could find the switch to the fan. Turning it on you hope it can circulate the air in the room.

   Leaving the bedroom you venture around looking at all the decor taking it all in. You were somewhere new and you loved it. One of the perks of being Tom was going to new places, you loved adventure. The thought of being able to travel was never possible till you met Tom. You’re very thankful for him and so proud of how far he’s come since he became Spider-Man.

   Walking outside you see a stairway leading down to a square dock with lanterns and two white lounge chairs. There was an outside sitting area , each side was blocked by a privacy wall. Seeing shaded area with a rectangle pool that water dripped down on the sides and came back up to the pool. Under the white shade cloth that was hanging you see two white lounge chairs to your right. 

    To your left was a oval couch type place to sit outlooking the water. Different colored pillows sitting on top of the white couch.Heading to the left side you look down to see a glass flooring watching as the water sloshed beneath you. A stone table was near the white couch with three different sized glass candle holders sat on it. A smile on your face as you looked at everything, it was so gorgeous here.

“Do you like it Angel?” Tom asks making you turn to look at him. Nodding your head as you look back out at the water. You could see the sunset setting behind a mountain.

“Thank you for letting me come along Tom” you say taking a seat on the white couch.Your eyes taking in the beautiful view.

“I couldn’t imagine going on a holiday without you love” mentally thinking it’s cute he calls it holiday when you’re used to calling it vacation.

“I love you Tom, don’t forget that when you go back to work after this” you look at him as he sits down next to you. Leaning into him as he wraps his left arm around you pulling you close.

“I love you more, you’re always on my mind when I’m away.. I know we don’t get to escape the real world like this often due to press tours and everything but I’m glad when we can escape that we spend it like this..” His lips kiss the top of your head as the two of you bask in this moment. No paparazzi, no pestering fans tracking him down, it was peaceful.

   Silence like this was calming with the hectic lifestyle you took on once you started dating Tom. Once he said you were his girlfriend your every move got watched. It was stressful and sometimes you would break down from the hate. Yet Tom always knew how to pick you up. He always knew what to say to calm you down and remind you that you’re not alone and have him to fall back on always.

    Your thoughts get interrupted from Tessa jumping on the couch in between the two of you. She licks your face making you laugh and give her a kiss on the head. One positive of living with Tom is getting to be around Tessa. She was a definite pick me up when he was gone.

“Tessa bearrrr, how’s my favorite girl” you coo at her giving her kisses on her face. A bark fills the air as an answer making you smile.

“Let’s see if Harrison won’t mind taking Tessa for tonight” Tom yawns standing up patting his thigh. Tessa follows Tom as he makes his way inside.  

   Getting up you make your way to the bedroom. Opening up one of the drawers for your black bikini. Going into the bathroom you change and look at yourself in the mirror. The swimsuit accentuates your curves nicely. Your thighs touching but not caring because not everyone is perfect and you felt great about yourself. Tom treats you like a Queen even during the times you doubt yourself.

   Grabbing a towel you head back outside where the you were just sitting. Instead you head to the pool setting the towel on a chair. Stepping into the pool and letting your body sink into the water. A sigh escapes your lips as your body eases into the water. It felt so good against your sore muscles.

   Moving to the edge of the pool you cross your arms resting them on the edge. Pushing your hair behind your shoulders you rest your chin on your wrists. Watching as the sun was fulling setting and the night sky was progressing more. Closing your eyes feeling the water move against your skin.

   Arms snake around your waist making your eyes snap open. Jumping slightly you ease when you feel Tom’s lips kiss your exposed shoulder.You didn’t hear him get into the pool, which is super sneaky.Your nerves easing down when you realize it’s Tom.

“Didn’t mean to scare you love, you just looked so peaceful out here” his hands slowly sliding down your body under the water. Hands stopping right at your hips. Thumbs massaging against your skin slowly.

“So Tessa is with Harrison?” you ask tilting your head to the side. A grin appears on his face as he nods. A big cheeky grin.

“He said he would keep her there so he will not be alone, then complained he should have brought a girl here.. But then realized if he did they probably would post something and fuck up the trip” Tom explains backing you up against the wall of the pool. Biting your lip as his lips attach to the skin at the base of your neck.

“F-fuck” you whimper as his hands grip your ass pulling your crotch against his clothed hard on. He moved his hips grinding into you making you tilt your head back. Hair falling over the edge of the pool. The water spilling over the sides at his movements.

“You brought on of my favorite ” he groans against your skin. Of course you brought it, you knew exactly how he felt about this bikini. Feeling his breath against your skin made your heart beat faster.

    You let out a moan at your pussy throbbing and needing more than this. Sliding your hand up to grab onto his curls giving them a tug. He lets out a moan at your fingers in his hair.. Tom’s lips kiss along your neck as he slides his hand into your bikini bottoms. His fingers rubbing up and down your slit achingly slow.

“T-Tom” his name coming out shaky as he inserts two fingers inside you. Moaning into the air as he starts pumping them in and out quicker. The air hits your chest making your nipples harden. He tossed the bikini top towards the back deck with his free hand while he was pleasing you.

Jesus Christ what can’t he do?

“C’moan moan for me angel, no one is near us..” Tom whispers next to your ear as he takes his fingers out of you. He takes your bottoms off throwing them where your top was. A loud moan fills the air as he starts rubbing your clit.

“That’s it, let daddy know how he’s making you feel” his voice deep as his thumb continues to add pressure on your clit. Tom’s lips travel down your neck as you become a moaning mess.

“P-please fuck me, please.. please” you beg gripping his curls tighter. You could feel that you were close and you wanted him fucking you more than anything.

    Tom turns you around so you’re facing the wall of the pool. Your hands gripping on to it for support. You hear another thud happen behind you. Looking back you see Tom’s shorts hanging from the deck. His hands gather your hair into a ponytail tugging it back. You bite your lip as he tugs it back making your eyes flutter shut.

“God you’re so perfect…” His grip on your hair moving your head to the side so he can kiss your neck. Tom’s lets go of your hair letting it cascade down against your back.

   He slides his hands down your back to your sides. Slowly moving them down your curves. Your breathing became ragged from all the endorphins rushing through your body. Tom groans as he slides the tip of his cock up and down your slit.

   You could hear Tom’s breathing from how quiet the air was. Gripping onto the pool wall tightly as he slams into you. A strangled moan leaves your lips at your body slamming into the glass wall. His hands slide up your stomach grabbing your breasts in his grasp. A rough thrust makes your moan come out louder.

“F-Fuck” Tom moans thrusting faster into you, the grip on your breasts not easing up. Your eyes closing as your body moved forward from how hard and deep his thrusts are. Grunts filled the air as Tom took you from behind.

   The water splashed over the edge of the pool as the motion of the water picked up. Your hands slip from the wall causing your chest and Tom’s hands to hit the wall. He swears from the thud his fingers created. His hands move away from your breasts as he takes himself out of you causing you to whine. Turning you around swiftly he lifts your legs up.

   Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull his face down to yours. The kiss needy and full of lust. He quickly inserts himself inside of you again making you gasp into the kiss. Tom’s tongue slips inside rubbing against yours as he thrusts deeply into you. Tugging his curls he moans into the kiss.

   The grip on your hips tighten, his nails digging into your skin. Tom’s lips kiss down your jaw back to your neck. The thrusts so hard made your back hit the wall of the glass pool. Moans filled the air from the both of you. The water feeling so cool against your heating body.

“T-Tom.. I’m close baby” you gasp as he angles your hips making him go deeper with each thrust. The feeling of his cock  sliding in and out of you had you clenching around him. His grunting and moaning is one of the sexiest things you heard.

   Tom lets go of your hip, his hand moving in between the two of you. His thumb starts rubbing quick circles on your clit. Pleasure soars through your whole body with all that’s happening to it. Your hips moving in sync with his as his thrusts started getting slower. Tom’s forehead rested against your shoulder as his biceps flexed while holding you.

   Your stomach clenched as he applied more pressure to your clit. You were a moaning mess beneath him and you didn’t want it to be any other way. Eyes shutting as your orgasm rocks through your body. Moaning from the way your body felt as if it was floating. His release happening after yours because he always insisted “a lady must always cum first.”

“Bloody hell that was great” Tom groans after his hips stopped twitching. He pressed kisses along your collarbone making you open your eyes. Little white dots swirled in your vision once you opened your eyes.

“I swear someone could have heard us” you blushed looking away from him. His fingers grasp your chin making you look back at him. The color of his eyes a shade darker as he looked at you.

“At least they’ll know my girl is being pleased” he grins smiling down at you kissing your heated cheeks. You push him backwards so he falls into the water. You swim toward the pool stairs but you feel his hand grab your ankle pulling you under the water.

   Coming back up for air you glare at a smirking Tom. He splashes you with water making you laugh. Laughter fills the air as you both splash each other in the face.  He pulls you into his arms holding you as his lips press against yours.

“I love you so much” Tom’s smile making your heart melt. Kissing him on the lips as an answer.

“I love you more, this is going to definitely be a great vacation” 

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom #tom holland smut #smut #smut imagine #imagine #imagine blog #i write stuff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x you #peter parker #spiderman #imagines #tom and tess #tessa #tom and harrison #harrison osterfield #quackson #hollander

[cookinguptales]

Sweat-Slick to the Touch

Another charity fic! An anonymous donor asked for fluffy, sweet NSFW karabita and I did my best to give that to them. lol. Thanks for your donation to Rainbow Railroad!

This is about 1700 words long, so you might be more comfortable reading it on AO3. No link in the post bc tumblr’s a dick about that, so you can either look me up on AO3 or just click to read it below the cut.

It was the perfect time of year for making love. Karamatsu had cracked a few windows while Chibita was out at the cart, and Chibita could smell that even as he got undressed for bed. That elusive scent of flowers giving way to summer leaves carried in on heavy air -- warm enough to be comforting but not so warm that he couldn't stand to curl close to Karamatsu in their futon. Everything felt warm and soft and intimate on nights like these, and the faraway sounds of city life fell away beneath Karamatsu's ragged breaths.

He looked gorgeous on nights like these, too. His skin had gone sweat-slick and dewy with very little effort, and Chibita could taste it there, salty-sweet, as he pressed kisses down Karamatsu's throat. He was beautifully flushed, from heat and pleasure both, and Chibita chased that dusky redness as it crept down his chest. Karamatsu was quiet for once, even when Chibita let his teeth graze the tight skin surrounding his nipples, and Chibita wasn't complaining. It was nice on those nights when Karamatsu seemed to feel the heat like a blanket, when he'd just gasp and sigh like speaking would break a fragile peace. Like it was just him and Chibita alone in the world together, buried in piles of rumpled up sheets and lost in each other. Lost, lost, lost.

Chibita stretched upward so he could brush one kiss, two, against Karamatsu's parted lips, and he swallowed Karamatsu's groan when he pressed his thigh in against his cock. "You like that?" Chibita murmured, and felt his lips curve upward when he heard the hitch in Karamatsu's breath. He pressed down again, gentle, sinuous, and let sweat-soaked skin drag against Karamatsu's most sensitive parts even as he dropped another kiss to slack lips. "Wanna fuck me?"

Karamatsu's hands slid up Chibita's legs, his hips, so they could hold him securely around the waist. Karamatsu hummed against Chibita's lips, not quite a yes or a no. Then, "I want to make love to you."

Chibita's laugh wasn't much more than a huff of breath, but Karamatsu smiled up at him like it'd been pealing bells. It was painful, really painful. Probably. Chibita just felt the rising tide of fondness, though, warm and sweet and familiar. Karamatsu was a dope, but he was Chibita's dope. And he loved him so much.

He kissed him again, deeper this time, a little slick, a little dirty. "Open me up, then," he said, and he wiggled his rear playfully. He could feel Karamatsu's breath stutter in his chest and his stomach tighten, and Chibita pressed the soft flesh of his ass down against that stomach a little more forcefully. He wanted to feel that. He wanted to feel how much Karamatsu wanted him. He wanted to feel muscles drawn tight with desire. And then he undulated a little, pressing his hips backward to meet Karamatsu's. He wanted to feel that hardness sliding up behind him, too. Inside him. He wanted Karamatsu's cock.

Chibita watched the bob of Karamatsu's throat as he swallowed hard. "Where's -- "

"Right here," Chibita said, pushing the tube into Karamatsu's hand. What, did Karamatsu really think he'd crawled into their bed without a bottle of lube? On a night like tonight?

And fuck, fuck, it felt so good every time. The initial shock of the lube, cool against heated skin, giving way to pleasure as Karamatsu's fingers slid inside him. They'd done this a lot by now; Chibita's body knew without being told how to relax for the intrusion. It was just soft give and slick fingers pressing up against all of the secret places inside him. Chibita had only ever let Karamatsu touch him there, and holy fuck could Karamatsu touch.

Chibita pushed his forehead to the grounding hardness of Karamatsu's collar and gritted his teeth against the sensations sparking along his nerves. It was good. It was so fucking good. "Just like that," he murmured, a little uselessly. "Right there."

"Here?" Karamatsu asked, a rumble down his chest, and he pressed his fingers into a spot that he goddamn fucking knew was the right spot. Of course he knew. And Chibita would've been annoyed with the teasing if he could feel anything but white-hot pleasure rolling over him and laying him out flat. He gasped and shoved his hips back on Karamatsu's hand, and the moan was so sudden and so loud that it almost surprised him.

"Y-- " Chibita's voice cracked in his throat. "You can -- " He was ready, he was so ready. He never took much prep, not for Karamatsu's cock. They fit together like they were made for each other, they always had, but that one simple, obvious fact never seemed to make Karamatsu hurry the hell up and fuck him. Instead he just did what he was doing now, this slow slide, in and out, fingers stroking him, drawing him up, laying him out. It would be torture if it didn't feel so good. "Karamatsu."

Karamatsu sighed like Chibita was being imminently unreasonable. "Fine," he said, and he really had no call to sound so put out when he was about to get to put his cock in someone. He slid his fingers free, though, and wiped them -- somewhere, fuck, Chibita should probably be paying better attention to that. But all he could focus on was the way Karamatsu's hands were fixed on his hips and guiding him backward. All there was was that blunt pressure against his hole, teasing until it wasn't, and then Karamatsu was finally, finally filling him up.

"Fuck," Chibita gasped, and bucked his hips backward. "Goddamn it."

And Karamatsu, he might have thought that he would tease him again, but Karamatsu, god. His eyes were shut tight and his mouth was gaping open and it would have looked ridiculous if it weren't the hottest thing Chibita had ever seen. He looked so perfect like this. Chibita saw messy hair slicked flat against Karamatsu's forehead, he saw his red, red mouth, kiss-bitten and well-used, he saw the way those ridiculous brows of his were drawn together in something like agony, something like exquisite pleasure. He saw it all through the haze of his own lust, and then he couldn't see anything at all. His eyes had closed, almost without his own permission, as he tried to ground himself against the pleasure. Karamatsu was in so deep. He was stretching him so wide. It was so perfect. God. Why weren't they doing this all the fucking time? It was perfect, perfect, and Chibita could hardly stand it.

Hell. He couldn't stand it. His hips snapped backward, snapped down, and Karamatsu moaned loud as Chibita started a rhythm. He was riding him almost without cognizant thought, like Karamatsu had pushed that rational part of him up and out when he'd filled him up with his thick cock. Now there was just something old, something primal, and Chibita was full up with it. He could hear his own gasps like they were coming from somewhere far away, his heartbeat like it was the thrumming soundtrack of the entire world, and none of that mattered against the slick skin on skin of their lovemaking.

Below him Karamatsu whimpered, then groaned, and Chibita opened his eyes. And yes, fuck, yes, that was exactly what Chibita loved to see. Karamatsu's eyes like dark slits, narrowed with pleasure and gazing up at him like he was something radiant, something holy. Like he was so very, very loved. Like he couldn't fucking look away.

Like it was only them in the entire world.

Chibita clenched down as he rocked back, and he relished the way that seemed to force Karamatsu in even harder, even deeper. It was like he was everywhere, touching him everywhere, filling him up all the way. Fuck, it was good.

Karamatsu hissed beneath him. "Don't -- you'll make me -- "

Chibita gasped in a breath, just enough to fuel a shaky little laugh. "Gonna come?" he asked.

Karamatsu's grip tightened on Chibita's hips, and it almost hurt. Almost. Chibita loved it. He loved pushing Karamatsu like this and making him hold onto something for once in his damn life. He loved being the one thing Karamatsu could never let go.

"Yeah," Karamatsu bit out, and he sounded so put out. Like once this was done, they were done. Idiot. They were going to do this for the rest of their damn lives, if Chibita had anything to say about it.

"So come," Chibita said, the words leaving him on another breathless little snicker. "Come inside me, come on."

"But you -- "

"I got it," Chibita said, and he did. Karamatsu felt so good inside him. So good. It wouldn't take much, Chibita knew, to send him over the edge right behind him. He sat back on Karamatsu's cock, pushing it impossibly further up inside him, and took his own cock in hand. Fuck.

And maybe that, that little bit of extra pressure, that new lovely view, was more than Karamatsu could bear. He made a strangled sound and went very, very still as his fingertips ground in deep against the flesh of Chibita's hips.

Chibita tightened up inside, trying to wring out every last second of that beautiful pressure, and his hand quickened on his cock. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He wasn't quite there, not quite, not yet when Karamatsu went lax again beneath him. When he sighed loud and long like everything in the entire world was perfect, and then took one hand from Chibita's hips so he could wrap it around Chibita's fist, so he could lend his own aid in pushing him right over the --

Chibita yelled as pleasure took him, hard and fast and blinding in its intensity. Fuck. Fuck. And through it all, even as his own hand stilled against his cock, Karamatsu stroked him, sure and sweet and just right.

Chibita sagged down against Karamatsu's chest and made no move to pull off his cock. Not yet. Not quite yet. He pressed half-hearted kisses into whatever skin his face was mashed against and didn't think about much of anything. There was just that warm breeze coming in through the window and crickets' call in the night and Karamatsu's ragged breaths beneath him. Just warm arms around his waist, drawing him closer, and that sense of bone-deep satisfaction that only came from good sex with an even better partner. Chibita kissed Karamatsu's skin again and sighed.

It was the perfect time of year for making love.

#karabita #charity fic #fic stuff

[fallen029]

Guidelines

The night before his wedding, the last thing Laxus thought he would be doing was walking home from the market with only the rolls of toilet paper that he needed back at the house. He'd always imagined, if he ever did get forced into marriage somehow, that he'd go out with a bang.

Err, bangs.

Very literal ones.

With a lot of women.

At the same time.

Be something to remember. Something to always look back on.

Then he got involved with the demon.

Sigh.

That was all out the window, of course. Because, as he had slowly come to terms with, they were in love and committed to one another and would never do something so horrible to the other. No way.

Life was complicated.

So as he walked down the street, mumbling his vows for the next morning under his breath (Mira insisted they write their own), he fought hard to act like he wasn't feeling the slight bit nervous.

Oh, but he was. Horribly so.

It wasn't so much that he doubted that he was doing the right thing by marrying Mirajane. No, it wasn't that at all. In fact, he knew that he was. Mira was the one for him. Completely and wholly. He loved her. He was so deeply in love with her that there was no way to ever get back out.

Believe him, he'd tried.

But nope. No cigar. He was marrying the she-devil. It was just the way it had to be. He-

"The hell?" Laxus growled as, suddenly, someone jumped him from behind. Easily flinging them off his back, he got ready to attack.

"Ow! Laxus!"

"L-Lisanna?" He relaxed almost immediately. "Wha- Hey!"

He was hit then, rather roughly in the shoulder. And sure enough, there was Elfman, the other male looking discouragingly at Laxus.

"A real man wouldn't hurt a little girl."

"She attacked me! And hit me again, Elfboy, and I'll-"

"I'm not a little girl," Lisanna complained from where she still sat on the sidewalk, rubbing at her head. "But that did hurt, Laxus."

"I'm sorry, kid," he sighed then, leaning down to help her up. Elfman beat him to it though, easily getting his baby sister back on her feet. "I didn't know it was- And hey; the hell you idiots think you're doing, surprising me like that?"

"We came to talk to you," Elfman told him after making sure that Lisanna was okay. "And we didn't want you to get away!"

"Why would I try and-"

"We're here to discuss Mirajane."

Laxus blinked. "Is something wrong with her?"

"Considering she's marrying you? We think so."

"Elfman," Lisanna complained, taking to crossing her arms then. "And no, Laxus. That's not it."

"Then-"

"You're marrying our big sister tomorrow," Elfman began again. "And we've kept quiet for far too long!"

"Uh, no, you haven't," Laxus said. "You bellyache about it all the time. Less like a man and more like, oh, what's the word? A boy?"

"Hey-"

"We just want to go over some ground rules," Lisanna said, glaring at him. "That's all."

"Ground rules?" He blinked. "Me and the demon have been basically livin' together for six months now, but now you wanna lay these on-"

"Number one," Lisanna began as Laxus only shook his head and started walking once more. They were quick to follow. "We come first."

"Always," Elfman agreed.

"Isn't this something you should take up with the demon herself? Or-"

"Until you guys start pooping out babies."

"Elfman," Lisanna giggled.

"What?"

"You said pooping."

"Isn't that what people say?"

"Popping," she corrected. "You pop out a baby. You don't poop it out."

"I understand the anatomy behind it, Lisanna," he complained. "But the saying is-"

"The saying is popping."

"Really? All these years and I've been saying it wrong?"

"I-"

"Would you idiots buzz off?" Laxus complained. "I'm tryin' to walk here."

"And no one's stopping you from doing that," Lisanna said. "Anyways, the point is, we can come second to your kids, but not you. Err, well, I can. Elfman's third."

"Why am I third?" he complained. "Maybe you're third."

"I'm always first, Elfman," Lisanna told him, sticking her tongue out at him, having to lean over Laxus to do so, as they were on opposite sides of the thunder mage. "It's just the way things-"

"Get to the fucking other numbers," Laxus complained. "Quickly."

"Oh, right." Lisanna giggled as Elfman took to scowling.

How come he and Lisanna weren't equal? He would be taking that up with Mirajane later!

"So next is that all holidays are spent with us."

"What holidays?"

"All holidays."

"The hell else would I spend them with?"

"Well, we don't know," Lisanna said. "But we'd like it to be known for sure that you're not whisking Mira away for any of them. Ever."

"Ever? Ever's here?"

"Focus, Elfman," his sister complained before clearing her throat. "Number five-"

"You're on three," Laxus sighed.

"Huh?"

"You're on- Never mind. Onto number five."

Lisanna nodded, grinning at him. "If you ever hurt Mirajane, we'll restrain you as she kills you."

"Hurt her?"

"Like, you know, hit her or something," Lisanna said.

"Why would I-"

"Mira does get a tad annoying sometimes," Elfman said. "But if you even so much as think about striking her, we'll help her beat the crap out of you!"

"Why do you need her help?"

Elfman only looked at him. "Mira's, like, the manliest man around. Why wouldn't we want her help?"

"Yeah, Laxus," Lisanna complained. "Use your head a little."

"Silly me."

"And," the youngest Strauss sibling went on. "We'd like for you to consider once more changing your name to Strauss and becoming our fourth sibling."

"No thanks."

"Come on," Elfman insisted. "I don't like ya none, but it we'd be an unstoppable team!"

"Don't need your help. You'd only hold me back."

"Fine," Lisanna groaned. "The next one is, obviously, that we get to name your firstborn."

"The fuck? No."

"It's a rule."

"I said no."

"But-"

"I'm going to toss you to the ground again, Lisanna."

"Fine," she sighed. "You can name your own children."

"As if I needed your damn permission."

"Hey." Elfman shoved his shoulder which about got the big dope flat on his ass. Laxus was feeling rather amiable that day.

Not to mention, he didn't want to flip out on the big goof and have Mira overreact and call off the wedding.

"Watch who you're talking to," his fiancée's brother grumbled.

"And watch who the fuck you touch," Laxus said before reminding him, "I can get Ever to do whatever the hell I please. I've told you more than once, Elfboy, that I am the last man you want to mess with."

"Anyways," Lisanna continued, not taking a hint for some reason. "The next-"

"Where is Ever anyway?" Laxus grumbled. "And Bickslow, Lisanna? Shouldn't you two be chasing after them?"

"I don't chase after Ever," Elfman complained. "Anymore."

"And Bickslow and I are on a break."

"Do what now?"

Lisanna only looked off. "We have come to a crossroads."

"Meaning?"

For a moment, Laxus thought that Lisanna wouldn't answer. And, honestly, in that moment, he was thankful, as for that brief second, he'd forgotten that he didn't give a damn.

Then she started talking.

Sigh.

"His favorite ice cream is freaking vanilla. Like, plain old vanilla! And he won't even put anything on it."

"…I'm lost," Elfman said as Laxus decided he didn't want to be found. "Why-"

"Because, Elf," she complained. "How could we ever share an ice cream cone if I can't even put sprinkles or hot fudge or anything on it? And when I brought this up, he was all like, 'That's stupid, Lisanna. I don't want you eating my ice cream anyways! Get your own. Why should I buy you anything? Huh? Huh?' And then I told him-"

"Are you guys seriously even dating?" Laxus couldn't believe he cared, but…ugh.

"Yes."

"Really? I mean-"

"Ever doesn't share her ice cream either," Elfman sighed.

"How long have you guys even been on a break?" Laxus asked.

"Um…since two hours ago."

Rolling his eyes, Laxus said, "But isn't tonight the night that you guys-"

"Make the babies all new bodies? Yeah. I'm still gonna go over and do that. But not because we're dating! Because-"

"I really don't care."

"You asked."

"My mistake."

"Oh, and hey." Elfman was animated again then, balling up his fists as he spoke. "That's not the only reason we came looking for you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then get to it, because I'm about home and-"

"We came to stop you from sleeping with other women!"

"…You caught me. I have a fetish for toilet paper and hot women."

"I knew it."

"Elf," Lisanna giggled.

He only glared at Laxus though. "I know how guys like you are. I know what you thought you would do with your night."

"Uh, wait for Mira to get home, sleep on the couch probably because she's been so emotional and shit recently, then get kicked out of the apartment in the morning so she could get ready or whatever. That's my plans. Oh, and take a big shit. Hence the toilet paper. I lied about the fetish."

Lisanna was about dissolved in her giggles then, but Elfman kept his glare up, not falling for it for one second.

"You know," he said stiffly. "I'm still not on board with this marriage."

"Oh, really? I'm amazed."

"This ain't no joke," the muscular man grumbled. "This is my big sister! And you're not going to-"

"You think I wanted to get married? At any point in my life?" Laxus stopped walking then, turning to glare at Elfman. "I didn't. Ever. Until I realized just how much I loved the demon. Then I knew. And I ain't fuckin' what I have with her up for nothing. So if you're gonna be like this even after we get married, then you just need to get the fuck out of our lives right now. I don't need your negativity ruining the only good thing I got going for me."

He didn't even flinch then as, once more, Lisanna jumped him from behind. It was a hug that time though and, shifting the back of toilet paper to one hand, he reached up with one hand to pat hers, which were tight around his neck.

Elfman only grunted before walking once more. "Whatever. The other rule is that you two are not allowed to form sorta rebellion against me."

Lisanna only let Laxus go before rushing out of her brother. "You'll always be my second favorite."

"Mira's your first and you're hers? This is a conspiracy."

"I meant second favorite brother. You're my third favorite sibling."

"That's not-"

"You never did say where Evergreen was," Laxus complained, walking behind them then. Anything to get them off their current topic. "Figured she and the others would be crying over me today."

'Awe," Lisanna giggled. "You upset that you're not being worshiped?"

"No," he grumbled. Well… "Just confused is all."

"She said that she had some business with Freed and Bickslow."

"About me?" Laxus asked, trying to keep the hope out of his tone.

Okay, so maybe he expected the three of them to be a little more heartbroken over their idol officially being off limits. Namely Freed.

"Nope." Elfman shook his head. "Mirajane."

"Mira?" Lisanna asked. "Bickslow didn't mention anything. Then again, we were fighting. I mean, seriously, who is against hot fudge? That's, like, the most basic of-"

"Mirajane?" Laxus repeated, coming to a stop once more. "They're with Mirajane?"

"Yeah? So?" Glancing back at him, Elfman said, "Who cares? They're just up at the bar, I'm sure."

"You idiot!" Laxus thrust the pack of toilet paper at Lisanna then before turning back.

"Wha-"

"If you dummies came here to give me a talk," he complained, running off for the guildhall, "the hell you think those dumbasses are doing?"

"This is a mighty long list here, Freed," Mira said slowly, glancing over a few of the bullet points on the piece of paper the other man had handed her. "I mean, do I really need to cut up Laxus' steak for him? I mean, we go out to eat all the time and I've never-"

"Do you want him to choke?"

"W-Well-"

"You really have to make sure you do number twelve," Ever said as she sat up at the bar next to her three team members, filing her nails while she was at it. "Ooh, and seven is a biggie."

Bickslow, who had been pouting the whole time, just kept staring down at the bar. Mira, noticing this, gave him a small smile.

"It's okay, Bickslow," she said. "Laxus and I might be getting married, but it's not that big of a deal. It-"

"It is a gigantic deal," Freed yelled at her, almost jumping up out of his seat. He was so loud, in fact, that he startled Cana just as she was tilting her barrel back, making the woman topple over and Macao rush to help her up. "It's the biggest thing to happen since…since…since ever!"

"What?" the woman complained.

"I wasn't talking to you, Ever, I was saying-"

"That's not what's wrong," Bickslow grumbled as his dolls huddled close around their master's head. His visor was down, but Mira could read just from the bottom half of his face that he was in a sour mood.

"Then what-"

"I don't like chocolate, okay? Why is that such a big deal? Huh? Huh?"

Mira just stared. "I didn't say it was. I only-"

"Bickslow!" Freed slammed his fists down on the bar.

"Please don't-" Mira tried, but the letter mage was quite wound up that day and just spoke over her.

"Today is not about you," he growled. "It is about making sure that Mira understands how valuable Laxus' life is. He is the most important soul to ever grace the earth! We are all lucky to-"

"I have a hair appointment in an hour." Ever glanced at both her male teammates before looking to Mirajane. "So just follow the list, huh? Oh, and tell your brother that we're on code blue at the wedding tomorrow."

"Code blue?" Mira frowned. "I don't understand."

"You don't need to," she said. "But he does."

"I-"

"It means that he's allowed to talk to her, but they are not going home together. No hooking up on the date either. Just making out. Maybe," Bickslow grumbled. "Blue balls. Get it?"

"Look," Ever hissed at him. "Just because you and Lisanna are on the outs-"

"This is a lot of information all at once," Mira said slowly. "And, for the record, I don't want any of you hooking up at my wedding. At all."

"That is not the information that you need to be paying attention to!" Freed was losing it. "You are to be focusing on Laxus, Mirajane. Now. And forever. For the rest of his life. It is your job to make sure that all of his needs are met when they arise. All of them, Mira. All. Of. Them."

Ever rolled her eyes. "Just for this, tell Elfman we're on code red."

"Aw, man. Code red? And I didn't even do nothin'?"

They all frowned at Elfman's voice as he came into the guildhall, Lisanna and Laxus in tow.

"This is really uncalled for, Ever," the man kept up as he came closer.

'Uncalled for? You're lucky I don't put you on code-"

"No more codes!" Freed growled as Laxus approached. The second the man was close enough, he turned to look at him. "I have provided Mirajane with a list of all the things you require for the two of you to have a happy life together."

"You what?"

Mira nodded. "It's twice the size of the one he gave me when you and I first started dating."

"Oh geez."

"Hello, Bickslow," Lisanna said then, holding her head high, all cordial and shit. Ugh. He only slowly got up from the stool. Raising his own head, he rubbed at his chest with his fist.

"Good evein', Lissy."

"Hi, Lissy!"

"Babies, please," Bickslow complained as his dolls came to circle around her head. She took to looking off.

"I've brought you our standard makeup gift." She held out the toilet paper. "On such short notice-"

"Ah! Four-ply? You shouldn't have. And to think, I am just so unprepared. I don't got nothin' on me, but I can buy you a drink if you-"

"Give me that," Laxus growled as he reached over to snatch back the package. "You freaks."

"Oy, boss," he complained. "You're messing up my big makeup scene here."

"You dopes were fighting over some damn ice cream. If it's that big of a deal, Lisanna, I'll pay for it every time you go out and you can both get your own damn cones."

"It wasn't about the jewels, Laxus," she complained. "It was- Oh, wait, hey, that's a real good deal."

"It really is," Bickslow agreed. "We go out for ice cream probably five times ever week."

"You what?" Laxus frowned at them. "Then how is this the first time you've had this fight?"

"It's not," the other man responded with a shrug. "We have it, oh, five times a week."

"Every damn time you go-"

"Quick, Bicks," Lisanna said. "Let's fight over rent so he can pay that too."

"That's so smart, Lissy. You're, like-"

"No," Laxus growled. "And why do you fight about-"

"Doy, Laxus," Lisanna said. "You can't makeup if you don't fight."

"And you can't have hot makeup sex unless you're making up, yeah?" Bickslow said with a wink and what he thought was a whisper.

It was not.

Laxus glared at him before looking to Mirajane. "You're getting off early. Now."

"Code black is far more appropriate," Elfman was saying about that time as Ever only continued fliling her nails. Once she got them how she liked, she got to her feet.

"Code orange."

"Ew, Ever," her seith teammate said, making a face as Lisanna made a gagging noise.

"What's-"

"Handy," Bickslow snickered in response to Mira's question.

"We're leaving," Laxus told Mira firmly then. Glancing around, he found Kinana and called out to her. "Mira's taking off early. Wedding stuff."

"Laxus," Mira complained, though she did head after him, giggling.

"Remember the guidelines," Freed called after them. "Mira! Laxus needs a lot of maintenance! This is serious!"

The second she was near, Laxus grabbed Mira's hand, her giggling as they fled the bar and their friends.

"Let's just elope," Laxus told her once they were free of the guildhall.

"Laxus," she giggled.

"Swear, I'll eat the costs,"

"They just love us," she said, snuggling up to his arm as they walked along.

"Yeah, well."

"And you got the toilet paper. Good boy."

Grunt. Then, glancing down at her, he saw the smile on her face and found a grin on his own to match.

"You ready for tomorrow, demon?"

"Mmmhmm. Aren't you?"

"Yeah," he sighed, leaning down to kiss her head. "I am."

"Although," she sighed. "After reading number fifteen, Laxus, I'm shocked we've made it this far in our relationship. Freed helps you blow your nose?"

He snatched the list from her before crumpling it up. "They're a bunch of idiots."

"But they're our idiots," she reminded.

"Unfortunately."

#Miraxus #Bixanna #Elfever #Freed Justine #Fairy Tail #Fanfiction #Thunder Legion #Thunder God Tribe #Thunder Strauss Tribe #Mirajane #Laxus

[coterminalangle]

THE WINGS TOUR ANAHEIM DAY 2 RECAP

-FIRST, I GOT PLENTY OF PHOTOS AND I FILMED ALMOST EVERY SONG (not the whole song for some of them) SO IF YOU WANT ANY PHOTOS JUST MESSAGE ME!!

-so i was pretty close up: section 225 row E

-pre-concert, they played all their MV’s and no one was really hyped for like 2013-2015 MV’S BUT THE MOMENT YOUNG FOREVER CAME ON EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING OK EVERYONE WAS HYPED LIKE BRUH

-they started with not today and let me tell you, the moment they appeared on stage, they looked unreal. literally. they looked like perfectly sculpted wax figures istg

-i couldn’t believe i was actually there; i still can’t.

-they did silver spoon next and the beat was kinda different but it made it more lit so i wasn’t complaining and boi those hip thrusts i dropped my phone

-everything went downhill after that- not downhill like failure of the show, but failure of my heart and mind to process my emotions

-all the songs im gonna recap are gonna be out of order from this point down

-so they performed dope and of course jimin ended with that cute ass heart thing

-lost hit me like a truck

-they did this mashup of old songs- n.o, danger, boy in luv, no more dream??, there were others but i honestly can’t even remember i was too hype

-ok

-cypher 4

-c y p h e r  4

-i am willing to kill to watch that performed live again

-i don't usually say these things but THEY LITERALLY WORE THOSE RICH ASS SUGAR DADDY COATS OK HOSEOK WORE THOSE FUCKING SUNGLASSES AND NAMJOON IS SO FUCKING TALL AND YOONGI JUST FUCKING SLAYED MY EXISTENCE OK

-speaking of daddy, this bitch sitting near me wouldn’t stop screaming daddy throughout the entire concert and i nearly smacked her 

-but yes, cypher 4 made my existence whole again

-SOLO SONGS

-jeongguk that talented ass fucker who can do anything and do it perfectly i can’t with that boy he performed begin so well thaT DANCE BREAK THOUGHT OMF so much talent i-

-jimin was a whole king. a whole king. when they lifted him up in the last chorus in Lie, i almost chocked and died

-yoongi. yoooooonnggiiiiiiiii. ok so first love. they played this vvv emotional video before he performed and it fucking crushed me and then yoongi comes out and slays the entire human race .here was an orchestra and i was so weak ok

-reflection. ok so you see, kim namjoon is my whole heart and seeing him in person was actually so surreal and absolutely unbelievable. sure, call him my bias but he means a lot more to me than a label. anyways, this boi, so fucking tall. he looks so much taller in person. like i have friends that are 5′11 but kim namjoon i dont know why he looked so damn tall maybe because he’s a glowing bean but still i dont understand why he had to look so damn perfect i screamed i love you kim namjoon at the top of my lungs about 67 times. OK AND BACK TO RELFECTION ok you know the whole “i wish i could love myself” part?? well after we started chanting “we love you” he started changing up his lines and i dont know why but they hit me so damn hard just him singing in english and being able to speak from his heart while he improvd in front of 20,000 people was heart breaking and heart warming at the same time

-stIGMA ok taehyung and namjoon swithced places so basically at the end of reflection, namjoon runs inside the telephone box and then taehyung comes out of it. here’s all i remember from stigma: kim taehyung hit those high notes yes he fucking did

-MAMA MAMA MAMA OHMYFUCKING GOSH ok hoseok is pure gold, he couldn’t stop smiling, ohmygod. everyone was hyping him up and he couldn’t stop smiling he’s so ethreal god bless. basically he sat in this chair with the backup dancers around him and he sings mama and all that. and you know that pause before he goes “hello mama” OK LOOK HE STARTED WALKING BACK TO THE STAGE AND HE PUTS HIS MIC ON A STAND AND STARTED SINGING/RAPPING ACOUSTIC OHMGOD BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE HIS “HELLO MAMA” FUCKING KILLED ME OK YES IM A 94 LINE ENTHUSIAST COME@ ME also during mama thre were videos of fetus hoseok playing on the screen and i sobbed my little boi i lava him so much

-AWAKE WAS MY SHIT I SWEAR OK JIN HIT ALL THE FUCKING NOTES GOD FUCKING BLESS HE’S A KING AND THEN DURING THE PAUSES IN BETWEEN LYRICS HE WOULD JUST LOOK AT THE CROWD AND HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA CRY EVERYTIME HE WAS SO SINCERE AND SO THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL I CAN’T THANK THE LORD ENOUGH FOR KIM SEOKJIN

-okok so they performed save me and i shit myself

-they performed run and i was like MY SHIT dude they kept throwing water or whatever that action is called but boy was it a beautiful sight they were so happy i’m so happy

-well fire. um. threw me under a bus and crushed every organ in my body HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN PERFORM THAT SONG SO WELL AFTER PERFORMING LIKE 15 SONGS BEFORE IT BITCH THEY WERE SO IN SYNC I CAN’T BELIEVE

-21st century girl was so cute they were so free and so themselves ive lived

-i need u. wow tears fell from my eyes

-favorite part of every song was when they would just stop singing/rapping and the entire audience just chanted the lyrics tey looked so happy i can’t

-whEN YOONGI AND HOSEOK TOOK OUT THEIR EARPIECES YOU KNOW YOU DID WELL

-OH AM I WRONG WAS SO LIT OK

-they played this really emotional video and it basically was saying how its 7 boys but 1 heart & 7 hearts but 1 boy and i honestly didn’t think it could hit me that hard it was just explainin their journey and how they’ll always walk togther i swear to god i’m whipped sadly i didnt get a video of this video but ohmygod

-everyone served fuckin looks wowow blessed

-seokjin told us that he felt born again and i lost it AND THEN HE GOES “ARMY YOU ARE MY HEART” AND HE HAD A FUCKING PAPER HEART TAPED TO HIS HEART I CANT WITH HIM OHMYFUCKING

-THEN TAEHYUNG TAKES IT AND STARTS MAKING CUTE FACES WITH IT

-ok someone threw some flower plushy i believe on the stage and seokjin picked it up and pretending like he was pikachuing with it god i cant him 

-kim namjoon started thanking his mom for everything hes done and accomplished and ohmyogod i screamed “thats my baby” so many fucking times at all 7 of them im so whipped 

-he started talking about the rainbow and then got all philosophical and i couldnt stop crying hes all “after rain theres always sunshine and thats where rainbows come from” aand im pretty sure he connected us to being his rainbow somehow ohmygod im melting

-did i mention kim namjoon is so fucking tall hes so ethreal i cant even begin to describe how much i love him ok all of them look so fucking good in person they look like gods tbh ohmygod KIM NAMJOON IS SO FUCKING TALL CAN I HAVE HIS HEIGHT IM ONLY 5′6 GODDAMN

-seokjin’s intense waving at the end made my life

-JIMIN FUCKING JUMPED LIKE 6 TIMES OK HE WAS JUMPING FOR JOY AS IF HE WERE JUMPING FOR A JUMPING PHOTO GODDAMN I OVE THAT BOY SO MUCH I CANT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS HES SO PRECIOUS

-HOSEOKS SMILE IS ALL I EVER NEEDED TO LIVE

-also your ears are literally plugged in there from the amount of screaming and hype so all of them sound perfect and have the voice of gods then once your ears are okk you can actually hear reality

-spring day got me so emotional jimin’s dancing man

-2!3! i cant begin to explain

-ok BOY MEETS EVIL HOSEOK IS A MOTHERFUCKING GOD I NEED AIR OK HE SLAYED THAT SO FUCKING HARD OK THANKS

-blood sweat and tears man. blood sweat and fucking tears: a song title that sumed up my entire concert experience. ok but it was so good ok, they were all so into it. DURING YOONGI’S FIRST RAP VERSE HE HELD OUT HIS MIC AN EVERYONE CHANTED HIS ENTIRE RAP OHMYGOD BEST MOMENT HE LOOKED SO SATISFIED I LOVE MIN YOONGI

-oh yes during that really emotional video they played you never walk alone and i lost it

-i probably forgot a shit ton of stuff but i hope this gave you insight on how to die and live at once

-one of the best nights of my life-i cannot begin to thank bangtan for their wonderful performance and ability to hype up 20,000 people and get them all to scream “i love myself” and to get a crowd to scream lyrics in a language they don’t understand or speak

-all 7 of them asked if we will walk with them forever, so here’s my answer amongst the 20,00 people screaming, crying, and hype: bangtan,  i will never fail to support you and i will never fail to stop loving you. thank you for proving that dreams come true, even if those dreams seem like a reality because we’re numb to believing the nearly impossible. thank you for letting me stick by you and thank you for bringing the freshest sense of life and love and reality. so yes, i will walk with you, out of pure love and inspiration.

#btswings #btswingstour #btsanaheim #btswingstouranaheim #wingstour #wings2k17 #anaheimday2 #bts #bangtan #bangtansonyeondan #bangtanboys #the wings tour #bts wings #bts anaheim #bts wings tour #bts wings tour anaheim

[elainescookingforthesoul]

TRANSCRIPT for Episode 1.06 “Robin’s Penne Bolognese” (PART 1/2)

ACT I

[INTRO MUSIC]

ELAINE: Hello and welcome back to Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul. I am your host Elaine Martínez, and tonight...well, tonight listeners, in the interest of open communication, I've been feeling a little blue. I suspect it may be the temporary lockdown in place across LA making me a little stir-crazy...I've been stuck this dental office for the past three days. Or it could be the lean rations and the ongoing ban on bread. I don't know, sometimes I think it's just the death of most my friends and family after the rapid, haphazard exchange of nuclear weapons by now-extinct government bodies all those months ago...I hate to complain, but I know there might be other people feeling a little down, so thought it might be worth sharing. We all have ways of coping with sad emotions, but the best way for me is by cooking up something good and talking to myself! Today, however, I'm getting a little outside that old routine. Oh, I'm still cooking up something delicious, but this time around I'll be talking to a lovely new guest by the name of Robin Jones. Welcome, Robin! 

ROBIN: Hello, Elaine!

ELAINE: Robin, it is truly a pleasure to see you. Now we were once tangential acquaintances…

ROBIN: Yeah, I was your barista! Saw this babe every day for their chai tea latte. And now I get to hang out where you work! I didn't even know you were a dentist! Although I guess in retrospect, your scrubs and insistence that I use your #1 Dentist mug makes a little more sense.

ELAINE: Oh, I've missed those chai lattes, and I've missed your energy. Still have the cup though! See?

[CERAMIC MUG HITS TABLE]

ROBIN: Sick.

ELAINE: Well, what are we cooking up today, Miss Robin?

ROBIN: Firstly, before we get in too deep, I do prefer gender neutral pronouns such as they, them, or just Robin.

ELAINE: I hope I didn't offend you.

ROBIN: Nah, you didn't know! Now you do. Still prefer she and her?

ELAINE: That is correct. And secondly?

ROBIN: Secondly, let me just say when I heard you were doing a post-apocalyptic cooking podcast, I was like, okay, but there are only two ways to eat canned meat as far as I know: hot or cold, right? But then I remembered two very magical words: Penne Bolognese.

ELAINE: Italian!

ROBIN: Yup. The recipe I brought with me is a modified version of other, better versions. It uses only a can of diced tomatoes, a half cup of lentils, some tomato paste, a handful of illegal spices, and my least favorite noodle, the freaking tiny tube-ish one.

ELAINE: I see. Well your candor is much appreciated.

ROBIN: Sure sure, that's like my thing. Hey. Remember when you were talking about being sad and lonely?

ELAINE: Just a few moments ago?

ROBIN: Yeah.

ELAINE: Yes. Why?

ROBIN: Is that, like, the same as feeling bummed?

ELAINE: Maybe. What does feeling bummed feel like for you?

ROBIN: You know, bummed. For me it's like this engulfing wave thing that happens to my heart every once in a while when I remember everything I've lost. My mom, my sisters, my cats, my bluetooth earbuds...It feels like my heart is being squeezed, but also like I'm plummeting from the top of a roller coaster. But it's not fun at all.

ELAINE: Sounds like...and I am just a dentist and not a licensed therapist, psychologist, or medical doctor...but perhaps you are describing a panic attack brought on by feelings of sadness and isolation? 

ROBIN: Nah, I wasn't panicking at all though. I was just chilling in the abandoned Russian deli I've been living out of, sitting on the counter, eating some Sour Punch Straws and thinking about life.

ELAINE: Sure, but--

ROBIN: Like, for all intents and purposes, it was a pretty regular day.

ELAINE: My own anxiety has many triggers. Sometimes it seems to pop up quite randomly and can really lay me low.

ROBIN: Woof. Thank god I don't have that.

ELAINE: Right...Well, Robin, what I'd like to suggest is that you continue talking this out with a licensed therapist--I used to know many. But these days everyone of that ilk has been rounded up to work on those semi-sentient advertising robots.

ROBIN: You mean the Ad Ministers? Those things are...

ELAINE: Terrifying?

ROBIN: I was gonna say 'dope,' but yeah they're pretty fuckin terrifying.

ELAINE: Indeed. So since real methods of dealing with our declining mental health is temporarily unattainable, why don't we work through this by way of having a little fun cooking up some food and enjoying one another's company?  Why don't you share a little about this delightful dish with us!

ROBIN: Cool, I'll just like tamp those feelings down for now. Gimme a second.

ELAINE: Please, take your time.

ROBIN: Cool, all set. So for the dish there are basically two elements uniting here. We've got a real chunky tomato-ey sauce.

ELAINE: Plainly stated, I love it.

ROBIN: And we've got a noodle. 

ELAINE: Penne, to be precise.

ROBIN: Ugh, don't get me started. This dumb-looking tube is by far the least popular noodle, and it's impossible to trade at the ration swaps. Even wheat fettuccini noodles pull higher rank than this guy.

ELAINE: It is a very boring noodle. Let's get started on this sauce! Afterwards, we'll rinse out the pot and boil up the penne.

ROBIN: The sauce! Oh man, Elaine. I've really worked this one out. It's a huge step up from your regular jar of marinara. Lots more flavor, tons more protein. 

ELAINE: Ooh, and we certainly are not in a position to turn down protein.

ROBIN: No, we are not. So the sauce is real  simple. I brought with me a can of diced tomatoes. Will you open that?

ELAINE: Of course.

[CAN OPENER GRINDING]

ROBIN: And I guess I can get this hot plate thingy fired up...It's like a camping stove, huh?

[GAS/WHOOSH OF HOT PLATE]

ELAINE: Exactly. It gets that pot hot extremely fast. 

ROBIN: Perf. Just throw those tomatoes right on in, Elaine.

[SIZZLE]

ROBIN: And then we'll fill that can there with some water and add that as well. May I?

[WATER POURING]

ELAINE: Oh my. I never thought of using the water pick for cooking before.

ROBIN: Well, if we're gonna do this on top of a dental chair, we might as well use the whole hog, right? 

ELAINE: Very resourceful. 

ROBIN: Great. So we can just let that pot get hot...you weren't kidding. This thing works fast.

ELAINE: It is always an extremely high flame, and a very thin pot. 

ROBIN: Well alright. I guess it's time to add the tomato paste--just a squirt there, maybe a tablespoon's worth.

[SQUIRT AND SIZZLE]

ELAINE: Done. I'll just stir that in.

ROBIN: Great! And now we get to add all the illegal spices and herbs I bought and stole

ELAINE: So much candor.

ROBIN: It's my signature Sogbop spice. 

ELAINE: Sogbop. I can't say I have ever heard of that before.

ROBIN: Oh sure, that's because I made it up. It's a teaspoon each of salt, oregano, garlic powder, basil, onion powder, and parsley. All these herbs together make SOGBOP. It's like instant Italian.

ELAINE: Bellissimo!

ROBIN: Totinos! Pizza Roll-eys!

ELAINE: We should stop. We may be getting accidentally culturally insensitive.

ROBIN: Can I do one more?

ELAINE: No, we should return to the dish.

ROBIN: You're right. Anyway, I wanted to do that thing they always do in cooking shows where they have tiny little glass or ceramic bowls with the dosed out amounts of spice. But I just threw them all in this baby food jar here instead. Sorry it's less elegant. 

ELAINE: Not at all. I feel like a cooking show that is sustained without a visual element is entitled to certain shortcuts.

ROBIN: Totally. So at this point, the sauce is smelling pretty damn nice. The thing that's gonna make this an almost-Bolognese, though, is these lentils. I brought red lentils this time around, but brown lentils work fine too. 

ELAINE: Looks to be about half a cup.

ROBIN: Yup. We pour these bad boys in.

[LENTILS POUR]

ELAINE: We are nearing the capacity for this small one-quart pot.

ROBIN: And I think I'm gonna push it by adding even more water. 

[WATER SPRAYS IN]

ELAINE: Very nearly to the brim. 

ROBIN: Don't worry, the lentils will do their thing in a minute.

[WATER POURS OVER, SIZZLES]

ELAINE: If you say so. How long does it take to cook?

ROBIN:About ten or fifteen, I'd say. High flame, thin pot, right?

ELAINE: Right. Well perhaps we ought to take a quick break. Listeners, when we return we will be checking in on this delicious-smelling Bolognese sauce, boiling up some noodles, and conquering our anxiety and depression!

ROBIN: That's a tall order.

ELAINE: We'll start with the penne Bolognese and see if we have time for the other stuff.

ROBIN: Sounds good.

ELAINE: We'll be right back. Please stay still and do nothing, or other government-approved activities.

END OF ACT I

INTERLUDE/AD BREAK

ELAINE: Okay, listeners, please bear with me. As you probably know, every local business was assigned an Ad Minister--those patrolling android robot thingies? Anyway, I've locked mine in the lobby storage room because it's been playing this unbearably dull ad for that nondescript item nonstop all week, and--

AD MINISTER: Don't like this ad?

ELAINE: Oh...no, not really. I just--

AD MINISTER: I have heard every commercial. Generating new ad...ready.

ELAINE: Wow, great!

AD MINISTER: Lonely, but could be not blemishes! Have a local, organic body pore to leave you feeling full for hours! No money down, no soy, and NO sad. Happy here with kid-approved now! Try be and so good. Smooth, care, crunch. 

ELAINE

...okay. Well, back to the show!

[MUSICAL TRILL]

[scottyunfamous]

My First (and Last) Fitness Rave

Whaddup fancy face!

Let me start by saying how awesome it is to know that you’re all as awkward as me! I thought my last post was going to make me look strange(er than usual), but then everyone was like ‘Omg bitch, same!’, so now I feel less weird about finding hiding places to work out in, in the gym lol. I have a holiday off of work this week and will be attempting the weights room…and all of its horrors *cough* men *cough*.

Two weeks ago my betch, Delia-Rene (Vexy, for my SDTV heads), hit me up to go to a fitness rave. Yes heaux, a whole rave for fitness! She’s embarked on her own fitness journey and previously attended DJ Melody Kane’s, ‘No Kane, No Gain’. After watching it back on her Snapchat I thought, ‘Rah, that’s actually a dope idea’, so when she presented ‘The Night Shift’ to me I was totally up for it…plus early bird tickets were £5, and heaux, until we upgrade from this pre-rich bank account, frugal is life.

The Night Shift’s tagline was, ‘Don’t get drunk, get pumped!’ If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that getting drunk is one of my favourite pastimes…(as is getting pumped…*wink*), so it didn’t light a fire under me right away. Honestly, I kept wondering how much more fun it would be to work out whilst drunk. I tried working out whilst high once, but a side effect of weed is cotton mouth. I was too thirsty to continue so I ended up eating snacks and watching the rest of my Zumba DVD from the comfort of the sofa. T’was a productive day.

Back to the fitness rave.

If you follow me on Snapchat, you already know I go to the gym looking ruff and tuff like carpet fluff (though since the hot new guy has started working in my gym I’ve made an effort to do my hair, and by do my hair I mean secure my wig) but this was a RAVE, which (in Scotty-land) means that extraness was allowed, so I swapped my mash up house clothes for some mesh panel leggings, a fitted top, boxer braids and my regular dick appointment makeup (5 minute makeup for when you wanna make an effort for bae, but not really).

The event was held in the Camden Centre. There was stage with a DJ playing some big tunes, two male trainers and a room full of women of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities, patiently waiting for the inevitable torture to begin, underneath a domed ceiling with a chandelier/disco ball thing and colourful strobe lights.

The smoke machine billowed cooling smoke across the stage, and all I could think was…what about us? Bitch, it was HOT! There wasn’t a lick of air conditioning in there, just two dibby-dibby windows opened wide enough to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR ANYBODY, a fan near the front that might as well have been switched off because made no fucking difference, and a bag of bitches with body heat. But I was excited same way, fancy faces. I couldn’t wait to lose this weight in my very first fitness rave.

After doing our obligatory snapping so that Snapchat could see how extra healthy (and generally extra we are), the class began. We placed ourselves towards the back -in the middle so that we’d be less noticeable in the sea of bodies when we skipped the exercises we didn’t want to do, and to make escape easier. These were regular occurrences.

We began with boxercise to soca music. I’m a soca head so I was HERE for it. It’s hard to get tired or fed up when soca music is on (not that it stopped the tiredness altogether, but it helped).  It was like carnival…but not anywhere near as fun. Fun is easily annihilated when you start asking people to do burpees…or any kind of floor work, and bitch, there was floor work galore! Now, I can’t really complain because more time when they asked us to do shit we wasn’t finna do, it either meant that it was time for a fake water break, an option #2 (which is a nice way of saying ‘it looks like that hard ass move you want me to do is working these particular muscles, so I’mma find a lazy ass way to work them without doing what the fuck you told me to do’), or straight up giving each other the ‘seasoned friendship look’ (you know the look, the one that is like you saying 'bitchhhh' without saying it) and not doing it.

At the start, when we didn’t want to do something at all, there were half-assed attempts to make it look like we were trying, just so the trainers wouldn’t notice that much. An example of said attempt was being instructed to do press ups, but instead of actually moving, you just lie on the ground with your hands in position and wait for everyone else to finish so you can reserve the energy you don’t have for the next move.

Stop judging me.

In my defence, for every exercise I did not attempt, I made up for it but dancing inappropriately to the music because carnival is coming and I need to start flexin my ultimate inner heaux. I’m making this sound really bad, like we went there and didn’t do shit lol. We did, I promise lol. By the end of it we were sweating and tired as fuck.

There was a half an hour break before the next section (body conditioning to trap and grime music) began. I’m generally not a huge fan of this kind of music, but even I can admit that it’s actually decent to work out to. It’s mad hype, so in turn, you also get hype. Everything was going well, and by well I mean that there was even more fucking floor work, which I was damn tired of by that point and stopped even trying to make it look like I was attempting it. You know them ones where the trainer walks by and you’re so over it that when they yell out ‘Keep going’ in a general direction (but you know it’s meant for you), you just look them in the face like ‘fight me’?

Two-twos (I’m showing my age…also, why was this ever slang?), one of the girls that was lying on the floor with me while everyone else did push ups earlier, decided to up her viva and attempt the excessive floor work. Next thing you know, the bitch is screaming down the building, laying on the round with a bunch of people around her coz she done fucked around and fucked up her knee. Things were swiftly put on pause as the ambulance was called.

At that point I wondered what any normal person would in that situation… “Does this mean we can go home now?”

Stop judging me.

Bitch, don’t nobody need to work out for 3 mu’uh fuckin’ hours. It is too much. Plus, I was starving. Some (just me, by myself) may even say that I was wasting away to practically nothing!

Naturally, I tried to get Delia’s determined ass to agree to leave, but she was like, “I spent £5 for this shit, bitch. We are staying.” Inside I died a thousand hangry (hungry/angry) deaths, but a part of me was proud and inspired that she was willing to push through and challenge (kill) herself (us), that tenacious slut bucket.

Shit like this is why having a support system on your weight loss  journey is very helpful, because when you wanna give up, there’s always someone nuff enough to force you to keep going.

I’ll admit, her can-do attitude rubbed off on me as the night (regrettably) continued. We were instructed to stand away from the injured girl still lying on the floor (much care, so sensitive), and they moved onto the 90s R&B section to do abs. As we kicked our legs up in the air and squatted down low, I yelled at my friend, with absolutely no shame ‘DO IT FOR THE DICK, BITCH!’ Sometimes you just need to think of how much better in bed exercise will make you. I know this sounds like a joke, but it’s not –penis is part of my motivation, heaux! I’m tryna do some skinny bitch ‘pick me up and fuck me mid-air without your legs shaking’ kinda shit.

I’m struggling in these skreetz so my legs can go all the way back without my stomach doubling up and pressing the air out of my lungs. I’m putting in work with this squat life so I can do 30-day squat challenge on the dick for more than three (two) minutes (seconds) before reverting to that grinding shit we like doing so much.

All in all, it was fine but literally the whole night just felt like the same moves done over and over again to different music. We definitely got a workout but I feel like the next time they do it they should get a female trainer as well. I’ve noticed that male and female trainers train you slightly differently. Men are more focused on strengthening/sculpting whereas women will mix it up with a bit more cardio.

I think part of my disappointment with the event was that I hoped for a different atmosphere, something more light-hearted and fun since it was meant to be a fitness RAVE. I pictured lots of whooping, cheering and upbeat encouragement like I experience in my Zumba class. This felt quite serious. The fun for me only really came at the end when we the DJ flung on Candy by Cameo and sped it up.

I wish that they’d provided yoga mats or at least informed us to bring our own because the floor we were doing all of that godforsaken floor work on was polished and hard as shit to stay stable on. I get very sweaty palms when I get hot, so doing press ups and all that was a myth because I kept slipping and sliding. Also, on the flyer we were promised fresh food and smoothies…we got neither. Instead they were charging £1 for a bottle of water that you could buy for 55p from the corner shop.

Also, this has nothing to do with exercise; more a marketing opportunity missed out on in the name of seriousness, but the instructors were tall, well-formed black men in a room full of women…why did no one take their shirt off, plis?

I think that if I did ever decide to do one of these again, it would probably be aerobics or something. I can do Serious Sally in the gym. If I go to fitness rave, I want fun. I know some of you are probably like, 'Heaux, that’s not the point of it,' and you’d be right, fun is not the point, but bitch, when you are not a gym bunny/fitness freak, fun helps.

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Until next time, fancy face

Love Scotty x

#fitness #lifestyle