#no more panicking when I was asked why I applied for a job or what drew me to it and drawing a blank

[sesamestreep]

I am by no means an expert on the subject at all, but if I could give one piece of advice to people who are job hunting, it is to always save a copy of the description of any job you apply for. It’s getting RIDICULOUS out there (at least in my experience/industry) in terms of how long between when a job gets posted and when they start contacting applicants for interviews, and unless you have a photographic memory, or the job is still active on the website you found it on, you will forget details about the job before you get invited to interview and it’s probably not a strong sign if you ask the interviewer what the heck the job is again (even if it’s fair given the elapsed time and how many applications people expect you to have going at once).

If it’s not already available in PDF format, just click the print option on your browser’s menu when you’re on the webpage with the job listing and when it gives you the window with the printer specifications, select “save as PDF” on the dropdown of available printers instead and save it to the same folder where you’re saving your cover letters/resumes/application materials with the name of the company/job title/date you applied in the file name. easy peasy. I still forget to do this occasionally but even remembering to do it half the time has saved me a lot of trouble overall.

job hunting sucks and is demoralizing on the best day, so keep your head up, do little things like this to make your life easier, and remember that I love you 💖 you got this!

#signed someone who forgot to do this for a recent job app and got an interview #and had to fumble the whole way through because I could not remember what the main responsibilities they’d listed were #and the job was no longer up on their website #it’s entirely possible I’m still in the running but it’s looking VERY unlikely #anyway it is fucking miserable out there but this will help a lot #job hunting #employment #jobsearch #life advice #maybe this is not revolutionary advice to other people but it was a game changer for me personally #no more panicking when I was asked why I applied for a job or what drew me to it and drawing a blank

[imahinatjon]

Doubt

Dazai x Reader

Kinda sad i guess.

I haven't proofread any of this. I'll do it at a later date.

You figured your mom wouldn't like this guy. She was... an overly judgmental woman.

And Dazai? Well, he didn't hide much. Aside from some really dark stuff. He didn't tone down his personality for anyone. So when he asked to meet your family, you sort of panicked. You didn't want him to meet them. You wanted to keep him and your family as far apart as you could until it was absolutely necessary. But Dazai assured you it would be fine. You hadn't really told him what it was like, so you didn't blame him.

Unbeknownst to you, he already knew. Or at least, had a general idea. You didn't need to say anything to him for him to understand where a lot of your troubles stemmed from. Why you didn't want him to meet them.

But in his mind? Better to get it out of the way now instead of a few years down the line.

So the day came. Your mother was lovely. A darling woman, offering Tea and Buiscuits, showing a keen interest. She didn't breath a word to you, unless it was to extend a kind courtesy. To put on a kind show.

You sat the entire time with bated breath, an anxiety ever lingering until you looked to the man sat beside you.

Dazai.

He'd toned his usual attitude down to meet your family.

There was no mentions of suicide. No over the top expressions or flirting, he seemed like... the picture perfect boyfriend.

You felt it was okay to excuse yourself to the bathroom with how strangely well this was going.

"So, YN"

You sighed, of course, things were going a little too perfectly. She cornered you in the hallway just outside the front room, just out of earshot from everyone else.

"How much did he cost?"

"What?" If you didn't know her so well, what she insinuated would have been more of a surprise. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

"You can't be serious? It's ovbious he's not into you, you must have given him something?" she quizzed you again.

"Uh... no mom, he really is my boyfriend"

"Riiight. Right... a little out of your league isn't he?"

You rolled your eyes. And tried to walk past. She didn't stop you. Not really, just...

"I hope you treat him well, that you stopped being so lazy, Hope your not neglecting him as much as you neglect the rest of us"

You continued on your way after what she said. It was hardly bad, in your eyes. Out of everything else she could have said to you, this was the lesser evil.

But... it plagued you a little for the rest of your visit.

He was... out of your league. You knew she was right. He WAS out of your league. Was he in it for something else?

Home... or rather, your shared home with Dazai felt cold and unwelcoming as you stepped through your own front door. You felt sick to your stomach. You could have sworn you felt homesick.

You wanted to go back. This didn't feel right anymore. You didn't feel like you belonged at this other persons apartment. You shared a bed with Dazai, but got no sleep. Merely found yourself lying awake all night. Sometimes staring out the window, sometimes staring at the ceiling. And occasionally, your gaze would linger on your loves face.

You knew it was a bad idea to take Dazai to meet your mom. You knew she would plant an idea in your head that made you doubt yourself.

She did it with your last partner, told you that you weren't treating them right - as if she knew a thing, but... you broke up with them over it. She also did it when you applied for a new job, you had an interview coming up, and she told you they'd never hire someone as lazy, inexperienced and unmotivated as you, so you missed the interview.

She never likes your artwork, however good it was, she made fun of your fashion sense, never liked your hobbies, called you unoriginal and boring.

Yet she relied on you for everything when you lived there. You did everything she ever wanted, but it was never enough. She only saw the bad in you.

And you in turn only saw the bad in the world.

When you met dazai that changed. He was weird, and has his flaws, but he was persistent, kind, and as honest as he could be with you. He had his moments, where he'd dissappear, only to reappear a few hours later floating down some river you or someone else had to dive in to save him from. Which he always complained about, in such a gentle and playful way. It wasn't perfect, but you thought it was... did he not think the same?

The thought brought tears to your eyes. Silent sobs escaping your sealed lips as you sat up and made a plan.

When dazai awoke the next morning it was with a start. A bad dream had plagued him during the later part of his sleep, and he couldn't place why. Until of course, he noticed you weren't beside him. Call him dependant, weak, or whatever, but since he begun sharing a home and a bed with you, everything felt just that little bit better. His unconscious mind didn't plague him like it used too, because now he got to hold you.

Now, Dazai is not a stupid man, even in his sleep hazed mind, he noticed something was off.

Most ovbious being that he couldn't see you anywhere. So he stood, to have a look around, a small investigation.

Not that he had to look far, you left a note on the kitchen counter. A note that left a sense of gloom. The colour drained from his home as he read. Words he couldn't register. All he knew is that it meant you had left him. Took your things and ran in the night.

He couldn't understand why though? He thought you had a perfect relationship. Did you not think the same?

He wasn't in the right mind to think properly. He needed time to register. Time to understand, and time to work out why.

But he'd make sure it didn't take too long. He couldn't let you go like that. Not without understanding at the very least.

_________________________________________

PART 2

Masterlist :3

#imagine #fanfic #bungou stray dogs #x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai

[seungkwansphd]

room for interpretation - 3

pairing: lawyer!jeonghan x lawyer!YN word count: 9.9K synopsis: as top of class, you and jeonghan had been many things to each other. enthusiastic rivals, begrudging allies, and…parties to a jokingly written (but legally binding) marriage contingency contract? this piece of paper would’ve been long forgotten had an unexpected merger not thrown you back into each others’ lives. themes: fluff, rivals to coworkers to tentative friends to lovers, “if we’re both single by X age” marriage contract, IDIOTS2lovers, fake dating, miscommunication. this is just a romcom.

You must be losing your mind at least a little. This was the conclusion you’d come to over the weekend. You’d spent the better part of Sunday thinking about Jeonghan, the contract, and your feelings. You’d basically said that you wouldn’t mind being married to him, but that didn’t mean you actively liked him, right? So now you were slightly panicked that you’d maybe confessed something to him that you hadn’t meant to.

“How’d it go?” Maja burst into your office, demanding an update.

“Good!” you spun around to face her, eager to think about something other than Jeonghan. “They treat prospective clients the exact same way that Jillian said they treated employees. The whole place stank of elitism!”

“What did they say?”

“A lot of veiled language around ‘clients have to match the image of the brand’ and how they ‘look for a certain type and demographic of people’.”

“Yuck,” Maja blew a raspberry and gave a thumbs down. You agreed.

“And Jeonghan did a good job at playing fake fiance?” Maja couldn’t help but pry. She’d been wondering all weekend about that.

“Weirdly, yes,” you shrugged, “He’s surprisingly attentive. 

“Huh,” Maja, “Surprisingly?”

“He remembers little things that I wouldn’t have guessed he would remember.”

“I mean, you guys are friends,” Maja felt the need to remind you. Even if you didn’t accept it or realize it, your relationship with Jeonghan was in fact quite close.

“Yes! Everyone and their mother would like me to admit that I like Jeonghan. I’m friends with Jeonghan!” you threw your arms up suddenly, startling Maja.

Her eyes bugged out of her head at ‘I like Jeonghan’. Did you mean like…romantically? Or more as an extension of ‘I’m friends with Jeonghan’? She had a feeling that the question would be poorly received, so she withheld it for now.

“Sorry, it was just kind of weird. Pretending to be engaged, and then remembering the marriage contract, and then pretending to be married. I might still be processing.”

“Marriage contract? And why did you have to pretend to be married?”

“So,” you pointed at her, “When the person at the wedding venue asked us how we met, Jeonghan brought up the fact that we signed a marriage contingency contract in law school. In this fake world, of course, we realized we liked each other before the contract had to be enforced.”

Maja blinked. She was barely keeping up.

“So honestly, I had forgotten about that until he brought it up! But yeah, we did sign that, which was silly. But then we got food after the consultation and the waitress kept making eyes at him. Apparently he didn’t like that, so he kept referring to me as his wife, because we were wearing rings.”

Maja’s head spun.

“Hold on, let’s back up a second. You two signed a marriage contingency contract? What the hell does that even mean?”

“Okay, so,” you inhaled before launching into the full backstory for Maja.

You did your best to explain the context of Peter’s divorce, his declaration that law was for lonely losers, and your subsequent insistence that that didn’t apply to you. She nodded as you explained how smugly sure Jeonghan had been that you couldn’t get married and make partner before thirty and the resultant bet and contract.

She wasn’t nodding because it was reasonable, by any means. No, the whole arrangement was unhinged. She nodded because it could maybe make sense if there were repressed feelings on both sides. And even then, it was a stretch.

“Why would you sign that?” she found herself asking indignantly. Even as a non-lawyer, it seemed ill advised.

“I mean I was such a hothead in law school. I couldn’t stand it when Jeonghan called me chicken. The other thing I realized, like literally this weekend, is that it would be okay if I were contractually obligated to marry Jeonghan. Now that things with Flynn are over, I’m not gonna make the thirty year cut anyways!” you shrugged and laughed.

Maja squeezed her eyelids together. You were being an idiot of grander scale than she could’ve ever anticipated, it seemed. Maybe more than her gentle nudges were needed. Perhaps it required an actual act of God.

“You know what?” you pointed an accusatory finger at her. You had meant to stop thinking about Jeonghan! “I’ve spilled a lot of beans just now while your beans have stayed in their container. What the heck is going on with you and Harris?!”

“Ah,” Maja scratched the back of her neck. “You’re right, I’ve been keeping that to myself. Why don’t we do something fun this weekend and I can catch you up?”

“Yes!”

Maja shot you a quick thumbs up before returning to her desk. Her eyes flitted to Jeonghan’s closed office door. She wondered how much information she could get out of him if she tried.

…

Maja checked that the coast was clear as soon as Jeonghan left his office. She’d been snooping on calendars and seen that he had the next two hours blocked off. He’d taken his laptop with him, so she was confident that she could snoop freely for the next bit. Trying to appear as nonchalant as possible, she ducked into his office and started peering around. She didn’t honestly know what she was hoping to find. She doubted that Jeonghan kept a journal full of his secret feelings about you, but she would settle for something…anything!

“What’re you doing?” Peter appeared suddenly in the doorway.

“Nothing! Um…helping Jeonghan sort his paperwork,” she shuffled piles of papers haphazardly together on his desk.

“You never help with administrative tasks,” Peter narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s really going on?”

“I…, uh,” she floundered for a moment before giving up the charade completely, “I’m snooping. I think something’s going on between Jeonghan and YN.”

“Oh!” Peter’s eyebrows raised with surprise, “Like…in a good way or a bad way?”

“Like…I think they liked each other. And maybe still like each other.”

“Love!” Peter gasped, clapping his hands together. “Let me help. What are you looking for?”

Maja rolled her eyes. She should’ve known this would be Peter’s response.

“Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. It’s not like it’s the Victorian era and they keep secret correspondence or something,” she shook her head, ready to give up.

“Ow, shoot!” Peter whisper-shouted as his shoulder brushed against Jeonghan’s diploma, knocking it off the wall. The loud crash that accompanied it made Maja want to melt into the floor.

“How did it not break?” she marveled with wonder before realizing it was plexiglass. She flipped it over to put the diploma back in place and was surprised when multiple sheets of paper emerged. “What in the world…,” she murmured. Peter had made himself scarce after the ruckus, so she was able to read in peace.

“I, the undersigned, consent to…,” she read the text and realized that this was the contract. It was a fairly short document and while no judge in their right mind would enforce this, it was technically binding. She set it aside before fixing Jeonghan’s diploma and hanging it back on the wall. Maja thought briefly about what to do with the contract, but ultimately settled on leaving it on Jeonghan’s desk. She’d thoroughly undone whatever organization system he used to separate his papers, so she could at least make this easy for him.

…

Jeonghan let out another long exhale. He’d blocked off a few hours in the law library so he could work without being distracted by the view of you through the window. He’d also spent his Sunday thinking of you. He’d have no way of knowing it, but he was far less conflicted than you were. He liked you, was attracted to you, and would be happy to date you. After all this time, both apart and together, he just…enjoyed you. Whether you were making his blood boil while butting heads or making his heart flip flop as his fake fiancee, he liked you.

He knew he likely had some work to do in order to show himself to you in that light, but he was willing. You already spent an atypical amount of time with him, so really there were more than enough opportunities. He typed up a few more sentences before someone burst into the office unceremoniously.

You’d jumped when your phone had started ringing in your hands. Flynn was calling weeks after your break up, so you’d panicked and ducked into the law library.

“Hello?” Jeonghan’s eyes widened when it was your voice that answered. Your phone wasn’t on speaker, but the volume was high enough that he could also hear the person on the line.

“Hello? YN?”

“Flynn, is everything okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s okay, thanks for asking,” he chuckled and you smiled reflexively. It was easy to relax into his laugh.

“Um, so why are you calling?” you asked, slightly awkward.

“Right to business as usual,” Flynn laughed again.

Jeonghan’s pulse raced. You were still facing the door, so he felt like he was eavesdropping, but it also didn’t seem right to speak up, so he just sat in this one-sidedly tense situation, frozen.

“Listen, I’m calling, um. Because I’ve been thinking…I just miss you. Uh, I know I struggled with your lack of work life balance, but…I’ve been wondering if we should give it another try?”

Your eyebrows shot up with surprise at the same time Jeonghan’s furrowed. You’d been thinking maybe he’d left something at your apartment and wanted to pick it up. You exhaled sharply and turned, pressing your back to the door.

“Flynn, I-,” your eyes met Jeonghan’s. You hadn’t realized he was there.

His eyes pinned you against the door and the words caught in your throat. Heat crept up your neck and the room suddenly felt foggy. You tried to form words that wouldn’t come.

Jeonghan tried to keep from frowning. Your ex wanted to reconcile, which made him want to throw your phone out of the window, but he refrained from showing this. He tried not to react in any way because he needed to understand more of where you stood and what you wanted. His wants regardless.

You blinked at Jeonghan, eyes searching his irritatingly placid face. You were surprised when you realized you were looking for some sort of indication or tell from him. In the past he’d been quite clear that he didn't care for Flynn. Why did it frustrate you that he wasn’t showing that to you again? Now?

“YN?” Flynn’s tinny voice shook you both out of your reverie. Jeonghan held your gaze, nodding as if reminding you that you needed to answer.

“I-,” you closed your eyes for a moment to filter through your thoughts and decide what you wanted. “Flynn, it’s so kind of you to call. I…don’t think we should give it another try. I actually feel really good about our split,” you answered honestly, eyes opening again.

“Ah,” Flynn was clearly surprised. “Well, thank you for being honest. I, uh, wish you the best!”

“Thank you,” you said as you met Jeonghan’s eyes again. Your heart pounded wildly as you ended the call and excused yourself from the library.

Jeonghan’s hand rose to his mouth to cover a wide smile of relief. He spent the next minutes trying and failing to focus and smiling into his palm. After accepting that he wasn’t going to get any more work done, he returned to his office. He cocked his head when he noticed the papers on his desk. This was definitely not how he had left them, but he found he didn’t really care.

The only document of note was the one he’d set his laptop on top of. Furrowing his brow as he pulled it out, his eyes scanned through it until he realized what it was: The ContractTM. Where had this come from?

With revived focus and interest, he reread the pages in their entirety. He found himself chuckling at his past self as he did so. Maybe it was just that hindsight is twenty-twenty, but Jeonghan found himself truly marveling at the document. While on its surface it was just an oddly written contract, it could also be read as a love letter to you from an emotionally constipated idiot. All this time, you’d been someone very special to him and it had taken him all this time to realize it.

…

“Mandatory happy hour,” you read the calendar invite you’d just received from Peter. You looked to Maja, who shrugged in response.

“Guess I’m busy tonight,” you gave your computer a lackluster thumbs up. Your pulse sped up slightly as you watched Jeonghan walk into his office.

You were feeling some awkwardness after he’d witnessed Flynn’s attempt to reconcile. It was your fault for barging into the library, but you wished he’d said something, cleared his throat, anything to let you know that he’d been in there! You felt vulnerable to Jeonghan in a way that made you feel shy around him now. You hated it.

After a moment or two more of consideration, you shook your head. It would be fine. It was fine!

Jeonghan ran his tongue across his teeth as he read the calendar invite from Peter. While a mandatory, company-wide hang hadn’t been his ideal next step, he supposed it was still an opportunity to spend time with you. He had been thinking, overthinking really, ways he could spend time with you that were less casual than the current post-activity meals that you often shared. Your relationship revolved heavily around work, so at some point he wanted to move away from that, but he also wanted some reassurance that you were even interested.

…

“Are you walking over now?” Jeonghan called from his office when he saw you and Maja conferring.

“Yes! Would you like to join us?” Maja invited him.

“Please,” he nodded, logging out of his laptop quickly. It was just a few minutes more before he was ready to go.

“Alright, mandatory fun!” Maja pumped a reluctant fist before leading you towards the elevator.

“Mandatory fun,” you chuckled weakly as you followed her.

“Ready for mandatory fun?” Jeonghan nudged you with his elbow as he settled in next to you.

“So ready,” you laughed.

You actually weren’t dreading it that much. Peter’s unseriousness as a boss meant that after-hours work events were often quite fun. It would be interesting to see Harris in a social situation, but you genuinely liked a lot of the associates, so honestly it would be a good time. As long as you could keep a reasonable distance between yourself and Jeonghan, you could be okay.

Jeonghan’s brow furrowed. You were being unusually quiet.

“How was your day? How’s the wrongful termination suit going?”

“Oh, um, good,” you nodded. Why was this elevator so slow?

Maja furrowed her brow. Jeonghan was trying and you were giving him absolutely nothing.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to visit the employer again? There was a coworker that could be a key witness if you could get into contact with them!”

“I-,” you glared at Maja.

“Oh, do you want to go back? I’ll go with you,” Jeonghan offered.

“For your client,” Maja implored, but you could see the mischief playing across her lips.

“Maybe, it might not be necessary,” you shrugged.

“Okay, just text me if it is. I’ll make myself available,” Jeonghan nodded.

Maja was suffering in silence. She wondered if she could have the elevator to herself for a moment while you two walked to the bar.

“YN! Jeonghan!” Peter greeted the two of you enthusiastically when you walked in.

“What about me?” Maja glared playfully at Peter.

“Maja, my favorite girl!” he folded her into a hug that she immediately pulled away from.

Harris appeared behind Peter and you tried to hide a smile. This casual check-in with Maja was obvious to you, but you knew no one else was aware of the relationship yet.

“Hi Harris,” you smiled at the other managing partner before slipping away towards the bar. Maja followed.

“You’re acting weird,” she declared, leveling you with a stare. “What gives?”

“What?”

“You are being so short with Jeonghan. Did he upset you or something?”

“I mean not specifically, but in general he is upsetting to me.”

Maja narrowed her eyes at you. You were so full of shit! Yet you had given her space about Harris when she’d needed it and so she supposed he could at least try and reciprocate.

“YN!” your junior associate, Kevin, appeared suddenly at your side. He placed his chin on your shoulder, which was silly because he was a full two heads taller than you. Kevin was like a big puppy and he looked up to you like an older sibling.

“What’s up?” you couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“The advice that you gave me on that fraud case totally worked!” He stood up excitedly. “As always, you are the greatest!”

You grinned up at him. Kevin was straightforward and genuine in a way that you liked. You could trust the things he said without wondering about ulterior motives.

Jeonghan’s brow furrowed as he watched you and the world’s tallest Kevin at the bar. You two seemed wildly incompatible, yet you clearly enjoyed Kevin’s company and that surprised Jeonghan. He wondered whether that was what you looked for in a partner. Someone goofy and easy?

“You are thinking very hard,” Joshua appeared suddenly, teasing him in a sing-songy voice.

“I am not,” Jeonghan found himself denying immediately.

“Lies,” Joshua’s eyebrows raised before his head snapped in the direction Jeonghan had been looking earlier. The most devious smile curled onto his lips when he saw you. Jeonghan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Explain.” his evil twin demanded.

“There’s nothing to explain,” Jeonghan insisted. He wasn’t willing to share this with anyone yet, not even Joshua. He had just barely admitted it to himself.

“Well, I haven’t gotten to know YN at all since the merger, so now’s the perfect time,” Joshua managed to sound sweet and menacing at the same time.

“Wait,” Jeonghan called weakly. Was he ready to give this up?

Joshua turned back and looked down at him expectantly. Jeonghan glared at him for a moment before looking away and Joshua finished his beeline towards you. For all his soft smiles and sweet demeanor, he was such a little shit when he wanted to be.

“Oh, Joshua!” you were surprised when the attorney joined you at the bar. Aside from his commitment to work life balance, and also due to it, you didn’t know Joshua very well.

“You all looked like you were having too much fun for me not to join,” he smiled at you. Kevin gave him a jovial fistbump and he was folded into the group seamlessly.

You tried to ignore Jeonghan’s eyes on you, but you could feel them. You’d noticed Joshua teasing Jeonghan about something, but even before he had made his way to you, you’d felt Jeonghan’s gaze on you. You couldn’t seem to help the way it made your pulse stutter every so often. You wished it would stop.

“Joshua, you and Jeonghan are close, right?” Maja asked.

“As close as one can be with a workaholic,” he teased.

“Did you know that he and YN went to school together?”

“No, I didn’t,” Joshua shook his head. He looked at you with new appreciation. “Was he as big of a pain in law school as he is now?”

You shifted your gaze to Jeonghan and considered him. A smile lit up your face before you answered yes.

Jeonghan stood up. That was enough of standing on the sidelines.

“Talking about me?” he asked as he slipped behind you to order another drink.

“Only bad things, I promise.”

“Well, even if your attention is elsewhere, I’m glad I’m still on your mind,” he murmured for only you to hear.

You blinked, trying to keep a sheepish grin from spreading across your face. The edge of jealousy you heard was giving you major butterflies.

“YN?” you heard your name, snapping you back to reality.

“I’m so sorry, I did not hear you,” you shrugged sheepishly. Jeonghan looked down to hide a self satisfied grin.

“We were thinking of sitting outside on the patio,” Kevin repeated himself, jerking a thumb towards the door.

“Oh sure! It’s nice out,” you nodded, moving away from Jeonghan in an act of reflexive self preservation. It would be great not to be on edge all night if you could manage.

The outdoor seating was mostly picnic bench-style, so your group split in half to slot yourselves into them. You stayed close to Maja throughout the shuffle, which resulted in being sandwiched between her and Jeonghan. Wonderful.

You didn’t really absorb another word that was said the rest of the night. Every time you tuned in, the conversation had drastically changed from the last time you’d been listening. Eventually you gave up. Instead, your mind zeroed in on every shift and movement that Jeonghan made. A few minutes after sitting down, he turned to face the group more directly and his legs straddled the seat of the bench. What this meant for you was that his legs were now more or less draped around you, boxing you in. 

Maja struggled to hide her giddy grin as she watched you from the corner of her eye. Whether he was aware of it or not, Jeonghan was definitely staking a claim. Most of the firm knew that you two spent a lot of time together, both professional and extracurricular, but these subtle physical proximities reinforced and cemented the closeness you shared.

“Oh? Jeonghan, is that you?” a new voice pierced the air.

“Ah?” his legs brushed against you as he turned to identify where the voice had come from. “Ah, Soonyoung?!”

“Jeonghan, it is you!” a young, vivacious man called more excitedly this time. Jeonghan stood to embrace him. “Just my luck running into you!”

“Oh, why’s that?” Jeonghan slung an arm around his shoulder, moving to catch up with him.

You exhaled a small sigh of relief as Jeonghan left to chat with his friend across the bar. You brought your chin to rest on your upturned palm as you watched them. A soft smile settled on your lips. Jeonghan’s expression was so dynamic as his friend talked. He was a much better listener than he’d been in college.

“YN,” Joshua’s voice pulled your attention away. “How is your wrongful term case going?”

“Oh! Mostly good, though I am a little worried about the jury selection. You never know what you’re going to get, right?”

“That’s true,” he laughed. “Is Jeonghan still assisting on that case?”

“Well, no. He was never formally assisting. I just needed a fake fiance for a day, so he got roped in, I suppose.”

“He volunteered!” Maja piped in unhelpfully.

“Oh, did he?” Joshua’s eyes widened with surprise. “That’s odd!”

“Is it?” your brows raised, “He loves butting into cases that aren’t his!” you laughed good naturedly.

“Hm, not the Jeonghan that I’ve come to know,” Joshua shook his head with a bemused smile. “He’s different with you though, I’ve noticed.”

You looked towards Jeonghan again. He was staring at you with an expression on his face that indicated he needed extricating from his situation. You blinked slowly before turning back to Joshua.

“I think he needs help,” you laughed. You and Joshua chatted about made up topics for a few minutes longer before you got up to retrieve him. You were delighted to learn that reveling in Jeonghan’s misery was an interest of Joshua’s as well.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” you cleared your throat as you approached the pair. “Can I steal him back from  you…soonish?”

“Oh please! We’ve discussed what I needed to discuss. Now I’m just blabbing his ear off. I’m Hoshi, by the way. You are?” Jeonghan’s friend stood up to shake your hand.

“YN,” you smiled, “How do you two know each other?” you couldn’t resist asking. You knew you were meant to be extricating Jeonghan from the conversation, but the opportunity to learn about this person from Jeonghan’s life was simply too tempting to resist.

Hoshi launched into a long and animated story of how he and Jeonghan met on the playground at Maseok Elementary school. Hoshi was an excellent storyteller and regaled you with no shortage of entertaining stories about Jeonghan. One that particularly made you giggle was the story of Jeonghan, upset over something and trying to make a show of it, losing his balance and rolling down the stairs instead.

Jeonghan covered his face with a hand. He should’ve known that Hoshi would happily volunteer all of his most embarrassing tales. He almost stopped Hoshi from telling the snake story until he saw the smile that had lit up your face.

“Friggin’ idiot,” you laughed, covering your mouth with your hands to hide a smile of utter delight behind it.

The words were insulting, but you said them with a warmth and affection that spread through Jeonghan’s chest like fire. Damn, he really did like you didn’t he?

“Hey are you ever coming back?” Maja shouted from across the bar.

You and Jeonghan looked at each other before smiling at Hoshi sheepishly. Jeonghan ensured that he would be in touch with Hoshi soon before you returned to the remainder of the firm that was still out.

“How was your little sidebar?” Peter asked.

“That was an old friend who happens to be in need of a lawyer, so we may have a new client,” Jeonghan shrugged casually.

“Oh I could kiss you on the mouth!” Peter clapped him on the back excitedly. At your bemused glare, he added, “With your consent, of course.”

Jeonghan let out a puff of laughter. Peter had ceased to surprise him long ago.

“Okay, I’m tired, I’m ready to go home,” Maja announced after a rather spectacular yawn.

Harris stood and the rest of the associates followed.

“Hey, you’re not taking the bus home, okay?” Maja pointed a finger at you as you closed your tab. “Jeonghan, will you drive her?”

Jeonghan nodded, silently thanking Maja for her observant and protective nature.

“No, I-,” your protest died in your throat when you saw her withering stare. It was late anyways, you wouldn’t mind the ride, to be honest. “I can ask someone else, if it’s out of the way for you,” you turned to Jeonghan.

“It’s on the way,” he shook his head. He had no idea whether this was true or not, but he wasn’t going to give up this opportunity.

“Okay,” you nodded.

You felt inordinately nervous as you followed him to his car. Jeonghan had driven you places plenty of times before, but it felt a little different this late after-hours. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he drove.

“Did you enjoy your mandatory fun?” you finally asked, unable to take the silence anymore.

“Huh?” Jeonghan was startled from his thoughts.

He’d been deeply ruminating over if, whether, and then how he was going to walk you to the door and ask you out. He wanted to wait until the Mock Trial season was over so you wouldn’t consider it another meal of convenience.

“Jeonghan?” you were confused when he didn’t answer.

“Sorry, yes, it was fun. Added bonus of running into Hoshi,” he shook his head slightly.

“I enjoyed running into him too,” you grinned cheekily at him.

“It seemed so,” Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you, but it was good natured.

“Thanks for the ride,” you smiled at Jeonghan as he pulled into the parking area at your place.

“I’ll walk you up,” he decided as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“You don’t have to do that,” you cocked your head at him.

“I know,” he half-smiled at you and continued anyway.

You tamped down a prickle of nerves as he followed you to the building entrance. You turned to face him because you felt like you needed to say something before going inside.

“Thank you for the ride,” you waved awkwardly at him, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Jeonghan nodded, feeling stuck as you turned to enter the building. At the last moment, he grabbed a hanging tie on your bag and jerked you back towards him. Now or never.

“Hey, uh…question,” he cleared his throat when you turned confused eyes towards him. “When Mock Trial season is over…would you want to go to dinner with me?”

“Oh?” your eyes widened. That prickly tingle was back again.

Jeonghan watched you think. It was like the day he’d watched you talk to your ex over the phone. It felt similarly nerve wracking waiting for you to render a decision.

“Yes, I would like that,” you finally nodded, offering him a small smile.

“Great,” he broke out into a smile and you both exhaled small breaths of relief. “How about the Friday after their final trial?”

“That works for me,” you nodded. You didn’t need to check your calendar, you never had plans.

“Okay, let’s plan for 7. I’ll work out the other details,” he nodded before releasing his hold on your bag. You exhaled loudly after you were safely inside. Was this a date?

…

Jeonghan’s brow furrowed as he stared at the casefile on his desk. He should be ecstatic. Harris and Peter had just assigned him a major Merger & Acquisition project. This was a huge step in building his corporate law portfolio, yet he couldn’t help but feel annoyed as it required him to be onsite. Your dinner date was just two weeks out and he really had no way of knowing how long he’d be required to be out of town.

“Hey, I heard you got an interesting case! What is it?” you popped your head into Jeonghan’s office. You were itching to know.

“Merger and Acquisition,” he responded blandly.

Your nose wrinkled. You had never been one for corporate law, so this was a rare case where you had no interest whatsoever. It was, however, surprising that Jeonghan wasn’t more visibly excited.

“Why do you look so un-psyched? You like this shit,” you furrowed your brows at him.

“I am, but I have to be on site for it…in Minneapolis.”

“Ah,” you nodded. You had to travel for work every so often and it was never as fun as you’d think. Staying in a hotel with an unfamiliar bed and weird pillows was just mildly annoying enough to drive you crazy. “Minneapolis is fun though!”

“There are things here I’d rather be doing,” an eyebrow jerked up with slight irritation. He hoped you would catch his drift.

“It’ll all be here when you get back,” you were trying to be encouraging.

Jeonghan tried to be reassured, but the unreasonable fear that you would change your mind about wanting to go out to dinner with him while he was gone lingered. He wondered if he could take that Friday off and fly back for the weekend.

…

You sighed as you walked back to your car. Jeonghan was out of town, which meant you were now advising both teams. You adored all of the students, but their instincts to try and weasel out information about the opposition’s strategy was making you a little crazy. You missed being a two-person team.

Your stomach grumbled as you entered a restaurant. This was your favorite place for solo dining. On top of the food being good, they had single person booths equipped with phone charging outlets where you could eat in peace. As you sat down, you realized just how long it had been since you’d stopped in. These days, more often than not, you had Jeonghan to eat with.

“Ah, YN! Where the hell have you been?” the hostess, Evan yelled excitedly when you walked in. “You finally find someone who will date you and your crazy hours?”

“Why would you think that when I’m back here to eat by myself?” you threw your hands up playfully in response. Your mind wandered to Jeonghan, but you brought it back quickly. 

“I guess so, you lonely spinster,” Evan chuckled affectionately as he led you to a booth. “You know the deal, so let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” you nodded as you took a seat. You submitted your order through the tablet and scrolled through your phone as you waited.

Your mind inevitably wandered to Jeonghan. You wondered whether he’d gotten into Minneapolis without much hassle and how the merger seemed so far. You even went so far as to draft a text message to him, but did not actually send it. He could contact you if he wanted to. You returned to the article you’d been reading, but it wasn’t much longer before your phone rang, alerting you of an incoming video call from ‘Yoon Jeonghan’. How was that for timing?

“Hello?” you answered while fishing in your bag for headphones.

“Hey, it’s Jeonghan,” you laughed. You knew that already. “Is practice over?”

“Yes,” you replied, waiting for a moment for the audio to switch over. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he replied, turning his camera on. “I was just thinking of you so I thought I’d call to see how it went. Thank you for pulling double duty, by the way. I wish I could’ve been there.”

“Me too,” you chuckled, propping your phone up so you could see him. “You should’ve seen the way Farah’s eyes bugged out when I told them where you were. Yet another weirdo who likes corporate law,” you teased. Farah was wonderful, but you just truly did not understand the draw.

Jeonghan laughed before reaching offscreen to grab a pair of chopsticks. You watched as he pulled them apart and jabbed them into something in a bowl.

“Oh are you eating? Me too,” you remarked, showing him a spoon that was handy.

“Yes. It’s been a long day, I’m starving,” he nodded before shoveling noodles into his mouth.

“How has the merger been, by the way?” you 

“Fairly aggressive so far,” Jeonghan shook his head. Once his immediate hunger was sated, he shared more details about his day. The timing was just as well because Evan brought you food and you could listen and eat.

Jeonghan smiled as he watched you eat dumplings rather expeditiously. While his day had been busy and consumed with the merger, he hadn’t been able to keep his mind from wandering to you. He’d finalized his plans to fly home on Friday in time for your date, which filled him with a nervous excitement. He planned to surprise you, so he didn’t share for now.

“How is Hoshi’s case?” he asked before bringing his water to his lips.

Your eyes lingered on his hand for a moment too long before you answered. Hoshi was quite the character. You weren’t exactly sure he had a solid case against his business partner, but you were still in the fact finding stage of things.

Jeonghan nodded while his server brought him the bill and informed him that he should pay at the hostess stand. As he stood, he let you know that he would be back soon and instructed you to wait for him. He knew you likely wouldn’t, but he was curious how long you might hold for. He laughed when he returned to a stern text from you asking not to waste your time. You’d waited all of two minutes before ending the call.

…

Jeonghan squeezed his eyes shut. The attorney for the opposite side of the merger was driving him insane with his idiocy and dramatic flair. His eyes flitted to his phone, he wondered if you were free.

[yjh]: ‘my opposing counsel is a moron’

You laughed.

[yn]: ‘i wonder if he attended Thee Law School That Shall Not Be Named’

[yjh]: ‘i’m not even sure he’d be admitted there’

You snorted. While you knew it was unreasonable, dunking on your law school’s longest standing rival still tickled a special spot of joy in your heart.

[yn]: ‘otherwise, how’s it going?’

Jeonghan glanced up surreptitiously before responding. Things were going smoother than the first days. Leadership of the acquiree had come to terms with the transaction. At this point, the opposing counsel was more of an obstacle than anyone else.

You raised your eyebrows as you read his response. You wondered if this attorney was struggling to change mindset and was still taking an oppositional approach.

[yn]: ‘may want to reinforce that his clients have accepted the acquisition and continue to redirect/reroute to them as appropriate’

[yjh]: ‘would rather just strangle him’

[yn]: ‘i will not represent you when it inevitably goes to trial’

[yjh]: ‘but you’re the best 🥺👉👈’

[yn]: ‘i’m aware :)’

Jeonghan snorted before tucking his phone back in his pocket. Incompetent Opposition LawyerTM had returned so it was back to business.

…

[yn]: ‘you should go to the MIA!’

[yjh]: ‘what is that?”

[yn]: ‘Minneapolis Institute of Art.’

[yn]: ‘this weekend is their annual Art in Bloom event!’

[yn]: ‘your timing is perfect!’

Jeonghan was pleasantly surprised as you proceeded to blow up his phone, explaining that the Art in Bloom was an annual event where floral artists were invited to create arrangements that were inspired by or complements to art pieces that were housed at the MIA. Apparently it was a free annual event that you were very excited about.

[yjh]: ‘it’s too bad you’re not here with me.’

‘Here with me’ stuck out to you more than you cared to admit.

[yn]: ‘send me pictures if you go! plz & ty’

Part of you did wish that you were in Minneapolis with Jeonghan. As much as your friends disagreed that it was a cool city, you enjoyed it. It had so many things that you enjoyed.

[maja-stic]: ‘are you ready? i’m leaving now, be there in 15’

[yn]: ‘yes! see you soon :)’

You flipped back to Jeonghan’s messages and were delighted to see he had decided to take your advice and promised to send you pictures. You nodded happily and finished packing your bag. You and Maja had a date at the mall. You were in the market for new trousers and she was shopping for home decor items.

[maja-stic]: ‘here’

“Hello hello! I missed you,” she greeted you with a smile as you climbed into her car. Being with Harris really looked good on her, she seemed so happy these days.

“I missed you too. Freaking Harris monopolizing all of your time,” you feigned outrage.

“You’re always welcome to hang out with us,” she offered as she drove.

“I don’t think I want to third wheel my literal boss,” you chuckled.

“I-,” she glared at you, “He is also my literal boss.”

“Yes, and you chose to get involved in a sordid, workplace relationship. That’s not my fault!” you teased her and she reached over to pinch you.

“Ow! I’m gonna report you to HR!” you shouted.

You both broke out into a peal of giggles as she turned off on the exit to the mall. After completing your ritual of getting soft pretzels and bubble tea, the two of you began shopping in earnest. You alternated between clothing and home decor and as was typical, both ended up buying things you absolutely didn’t need. As time went on, Maja noticed that you were more and more wrapped up in your phone. At the beginning of the trip, you’d been invested in finding pants, but once you’d found two pairs to your liking, you’d been checking your phone like crazy. Sometimes there was nothing to respond to, but more often than not, a smile crept onto your lips and you tapped back a quick reply. Her eyebrows furrowed.

“Who do you keep texting?” she demanded, curiosity bubbling.

“Oh, my friend is at a museum and they’re sending me pictures!” you avoided answering the question directly.

“Oh? Let me see!” she poked her head over your shoulder. She had a burning gut feeling.

You flipped through the photos that Jeonghan had sent you. Maja cooed appropriately at the floral arrangements, but was disappointed that they didn’t give anything away. It had to be Jeonghan, right? You didn’t have any other friends!

“So is it a botanical garden? It seemed like flowers and also art?”

“No, it’s an art museum. They do an annual special exhibit of floral arrangements.”

“Ahh, cool,” Maja nodded before unlocking her phone to do some googling. It didn’t take much sleuthing to deduce that this was probably the Minneapolis Institute of Art’s Art in Bloom exhibit. The pieces of information puzzled themselves together in Maja’s brain and she gasped, giving you an accusatory stare.

“You lying son of a gun!”

“What?” you feigned ignorance, but you knew your goose was cooked.

“You’ve been texting Jeonghan all day! You-,” her outrage choked out the rest of her sentence. “Right?”

“No,” you denied reflexively.

“Give me your phone then,” she stood with a fist on her hip and the other hand outstretched. “If you are truly not texting Jeonghan all day on a Saturday then give me your phone.”

“I-,” you sighed, giving up the pretense, “Fine, you’re right. Sue me!”

“I will!” she replied. She was overwhelmed by a mix of indignance, vindication, and excitement that was showing up in an overly combative manner. “Sorry, I just…I am surprised! And processing.”

“We’re just talking,” you tried to play it down, but you knew it was more than that.

Over the past week, your communications with Jeonghan had grown more frequent than they’d even been with Flynn. You looked forward to his nightly calls and you’d accepted that you were feeling something for him that was more than a casual friendship. Something that made you feel nervous yet hopeful that he meant your next dinner as a date too.

“You are thinking way too hard about him for this to just be talking,” Maja shook her head firmly. “You don’t have to tell me, but…I don’t believe it’s just friendly texting.”

“It’s so embarrassing to say it out loud, but I think I like him,” you rolled your eyes at yourself. “Freaking Jeonghan.”

“Hehe,” Maja was grinning from ear to ear. “I love this. You two make sense together, like come on! I love love.”

“You sound like Peter,” you gave her a pointed look.

“In this case, I’m happy to,” she beamed at you proudly. “Do you guys have anything planned? Have you set like a date date?”

“We were supposed to get dinner next Friday, but since he’s still in Minneapolis, I’m assuming we’ll reschedule once that’s done?”

Maja nodded. That made sense. The rest of the shopping trip was filled with a peppering of questions about your newly realized feelings and fighting off Maja’s occasional offers to Facetime Jeonghan together. It was way too early for that.

…

The next time you spoke on the phone, you were the one who called Jeonghan, which made him want to kick his feet with delight and triumph. He was, however, on his way back to the hotel so that would have to wait.

“Hello?” he sandwiched the phone between his shoulder and ear as he entered his hotel room.

“Hey, do you have any experience with beverage labeling compliance?”

“What?” Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed. Not the greeting he expected.

“I’m at the grocery store,” you said, as if it explained anything. “I’m looking at this weird canned beverage that claims a million benefits that I find difficult to believe.”

“Hm, I wonder if it’s technically a supplement. Much more lax on that side.”

“Really?” you squawked. “Shouldn’t supplements be more tightly regulated?”

Jeonghan shook his head. This was yet another corporate law elective that you had elected to ignore.

“You’d think so, but no. FDA is dreadfully underfunded when it comes to inspection and enforcement. It’s almost a free for all unless you have significant market share.”

“Huh,” you narrowed your eyes at the can before moving down the aisle. “Well nay to that, then, I suppose. What are you up to?”

“Just got back to my room. Another long day, so I am ordering room service and not moving once I lay down.”

“Ah, I’ll let you go then.”

“No, don’t,” Jeonghan shook his head vehemently, “Stay on.”

“Do you need to at least call room service?”

“No,” Jeonghan shook his head as he toed off his shoes, “I can order online.”

“Ah,” you nodded.

You continued through the grocery aisles, plucking an assortment of items that you could throw together to make dinner. You were well aware of the differences in regulation between supplements and foods. The beverage’s nutritional claims had been a flimsy excuse to call him. It’d only been a few days since he’d left for the merger, but you felt it. The firm was quiet without him and you found yourself missing your thinking partner. Maja could only assist to a certain level before you needed someone else…well, needed Jeonghan.

“Gosh, I’m tired,” Jeonghan huffed and you heard what sounded like him flopping down into bed. There was a bit of soft rustling before he spoke again. “What should I eat?” he asked, putting you on speakerphone and pulling up the room service menu.

“I don’t know,” you rolled your eyes, “What do they have?”

Jeonghan was inordinately pleased that you were humoring him. In months past, you definitely would’ve hung up at this, admittedly, unreasonable question. He was very much reading into the fact that you hadn’t. He took his time reading the menu to you while you checked out with your groceries.

“I think…well, it’s humid today in Minneapolis, right? I don’t like heavy foods when the weather is sticky like that.”

“How do you know it’s humid?”

“I…,” you had looked it up earlier.

“Did you check?” Jeonghan’s eyes lit up. Had he been around other people, he would’ve had to cover his mouth to hide the beaming smile on his face.

“No,” you denied it too quickly.

“You were thinking about me,” he teased in a sing-songy voice followed by the sound of rustling sheets. You couldn’t see it, but he was kicking his feet like an absolute fool.

You had every plan to say something in your own defense, but you suddenly realized or remembered that he was laying in bed. This sent a jolt of heat up your neck. You really shouldn’t feel this way in a grocery store!

“Well what did you decide to eat?” you asked as you drove your car home. You smacked yourself on the forehead. This was an incredibly inane topic for you to be entertaining, but you didn’t want to end the call either.

“Oh, I haven’t yet,” Jeonghan focused his attention again. “I do think I’ll take your advice. Something light sounds nice.”

You had finished putting away groceries by the time he’d submitted his order. It had been a long day, so you went to lay down as well. You landed with a quiet thud and you shifted slightly to get comfortable.

“What are you going to eat?” Jeonghan asked.

“I bought groceries, but now I don’t feel like cooking them,” you laughed, “I think I have some hard boiled eggs in the fridge.”

“No. Stop,” he said sternly. “That is pathetically sad. You can’t just eat eggs for dinner.”

“I mean who’s gonna stop me?” you teased.

“YN.”

You stilled. Hearing Jeonghan say your name in an admonishing, scolding tone sent a shiver down your spine. Not unpleasant by any means, but surprising. You took a few shallow breaths, forgetting to reply.

“YN?” Jeonghan his voice sounded in your ear again and you shuddered.

“Yeah?” you replied, but it was breathy. Thin. You squeezed your eyes shut.

Jeonghan swallowed. The effect that he’d heard in your voice shot through him and surprised him. He wished he was home.

“I’m gonna order you food,” he decided, clearing his throat.

“No, you don’t have to do that,” you shook your head.

“I know,” he brushed off your protest and pulled up his phone. “Ah, Krazy Bao delivers,” he thought aloud as he submitted your order.

You blinked at his memory. It still surprised you when Jeonghan was attentive like this.

“What’s your address again?”

You contemplated withholding it from him, but he promptly reminded you that he could look it up in his Google Maps search history. Damn his brain.

“Okay, ETA is forty minutes,” he confirmed, satisfied with himself.

“Thank you,” you muttered, face half buried into a pillow.

“You’re welcome,” he laughed. “Tell me about the rest of your day.”

You thought for a moment, trying to decide what to tell. Honestly the days had been boring since Jeonghan was gone. The other associates’ offices were further away from your corner and so you’d mostly been working and chatting with Maja occasionally. She and Harris were now at a point where they spent most evenings together, so you felt more alone than normal. You didn’t share all of this with him, of course, but found more than enough topics to last through both of your dinners.

“It’s getting late,” you yawned.

“It is,” Jeonghan nodded, sleep was creeping up on him as well.

“I can’t wait for you to get back,” you muttered as you dozed off, “I miss you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes snapped wide open.

‘I miss you’

“What did you just say?” he asked in disbelief.

The only answer you had for him was light snoring, so he ended the call.

‘I miss you.’

He hadn’t realized he’d been wanting to hear those words until now. The brief shock of adrenaline subsided and he laid back down. The next two days couldn’t pass quickly enough for him.

…

You felt like a chicken with its head cut off. Things had been so overwhelmingly busy for the past weeks that you felt just one very minor inconvenience from exploding. Mock Trial had finally wound down, but now you were assisting with Hoshi who was quite the handful. You probably would have fired him as a client already, but this was technically Jeonghan’s case. But he was gone and Hoshi was…a lot.

Soonyoung, who preferred his ‘Doing Business As’ name of Hoshi, was embroiled in a fairly pointless lawsuit with his business partner, Seungkwan. The pair of them were equally hotheaded and emotional and some days it felt like they were engaged in the lawsuit just so they could fight with each other on record.

“What time is the mediation for Hoshi today?” you called out of your office door to Maja.

“Six-thirty,” she replied. 

“Gah!” you let out a squawk before returning to work. You needed to run over to campus to meet with your mock trial team one more time before heading to Seungkwan’s lawyer’s office for mediation. After this week was over, you could take a bit of a breather. You just had to make it until then.

As you drove to campus your mind wandered, as it usually did now, to Jeonghan. Tonight would’ve been your dinner (date?), but he was still in Minneapolis. You’d assumed it was canceled. You’d figure something out once he was back.

…

Jeonghan sighed with relief when he finally deboarded the plane. It had looked a little hairy for a moment, but he’d made it back on time. He had enough time to get home, shower, change, and meet you at the restaurant. If he didn’t hit traffic, he might even have time to pick up some flowers. Nothing showy, as that wasn’t your style, but you had so enjoyed those cabbage roses in the wedding venue garden when he’d gone undercover with you.

…

You silenced your phone before you walked into the conference room with Hoshi. You were meeting with Seungkwan and his lawyer today for another, hopefully final, mediation session.

“Are you ready?” you asked Hoshi with a hopeful smile.

“Yes! I will let you answer all of the questions even if Seungkwan goads me!” he answered you, a look of determination across his face. You hoped that would be true this time.

“I guess they really do let anyone in these days,” came Mr. Boo’s drawling voice and Hoshi looked ready to launch himself over the conference table.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. This was going to be a challenging mediation.

…

Jeonghan’s eyebrows were furrowed. You were late. It hadn’t worried him for the first few minutes, but it was now quarter past seven and you hadn’t responded to any of his texts.

“Hello sir,” a waiter dressed in all black came to check on him. It was a fancy restaurant, so the service was unfortunately attentive.

“Yes, I know. I don’t know where she is,” Jeonghan replied, clearly ticked. “Let me give her a call to see if something happened.”

“Of course,” the server ducked away to share the update with another server.

Jeonghan could feel his irritation rise with each ring of the line. He ran his tongue across his teeth with annoyance until it finally went to voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached YN-,” he cut off your voicemail with an irritated push of the red button.

“I guess she’s not coming,” his eyebrows flicked up with annoyance when the server came back to check in again.

“Ah, I see. Would the gentleman still like to dine with us today?”

“No, thank you. I’ll get the check and get this table cleared out for you.”

The server nodded and returned shortly with a bill. Jeonghan paid for his one cocktail and then headed out to his car. Before starting it, he tried calling you again. He tossed his phone into the passenger seat before heading home. As he got closer, the irritation subsided and was replaced by a sense of worry. Even if you were standing him up, he would’ve liked to know that you were okay.

…

“How could you possibly suggest that?” Hoshi and Seungkwan gasped in horror at both you and your opposing counsel.

You shook your head. You and your opposing counsel had just devised an ingenious way to split assets of the business quite equitably between the two partners. You’d thought they would be elated.

“What are you, King Solomon? We can’t cut our baby in half like that!”

“Absolutely not!”

“At this rate, I’m second guessing the entire lawsuit to begin with!”

“Me too!”

Your head spun. You weren’t even sure who was saying what at this point, only that your plan had backfired spectacularly. Seungkwan and Hoshi made eye contact for a few moments before launching themselves into each other’s arms for a rather spectacular hug.

“What is happening?” you whispered to Seungkwan’s lawyer.

“Lord if I know,” he wailed, looking ready to pull his own eyebrows out.

“Brothers!” Hoshi and Seungkwan pulled away triumphantly. “Cancel the lawsuit, we’ve reconciled!”

You were torn between stabbing the both of them and cry-laughing because it meant you could go home. You went with the latter. Seungkwan’s attorney had the good idea of documenting the decision signed by all parties and as soon as that was done, you were free to go.

When you pulled out your phone to check the time, your heart leapt into your throat. Three missed calls and several texts from Jeonghan. What was going on?!

Jeonghan pretended to consider not picking it up when you called, but ultimately couldn’t help himself. The curiosity had been eating at him for hours now.

“Hello?” he answered gruffly.

“Are you okay? I was in mediation with a client so I just saw your texts and calls. Are you okay?”

“Mediation? Why were you in mediation?” Jeonghan asked, his tone somewhat strained.

“Because you pawned Hoshi off on me,” you rolled your eyes.

“Did you forget what day it is?” Jeonghan inquired snippily.

“Friday?” you answered, slightly confused.

“We were supposed to have dinner!”

“But you’re still in Minneapolis?”

“Try again,” Jeonghan’s tongue clicked.

“...You’re home?” your eyes widened.

Jeonghan let out a small noise of confirmation and a mix of feelings washed over you.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back? I assumed we were canceling!”

“Why would you assume that?! I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you?”

“Well you were the one who saddled me with the world’s most insane client!”

“And you’re the one who stood me up on our first date!”

You stilled. You pushed your adrenaline aside and focused on what was important. Jeonghan had come back all the way from Minneapolis for your date. Which was in fact a date and not just wishful thinking on your part.

“It’s fine, we can just reschedule. Hopefully the merger will be over soon-”

“No!” you cut him off, opening your car door. “Where are you? I’ll come pick you up! It’s eight, we can still have dinner.”

“I-,” he chuckled. Within moments you were headed towards his place.

Jeonghan glanced at the clock as he waited. He couldn’t recall the last time he had been picked up for dinner and he had to laugh. His relationship to you was anything but traditional, so really it made sense for you to have accidentally stood him up and then come pick him up instead.

Despite that, he was excited to see you. The past weeks apart had cemented just how important you were to him. He missed hearing your thoughts, bouncing ideas off of you, and spending time with you. He thought about you for so long that the buzzer was what pulled him back to reality. He buzzed you up and wondered whether you’d be amenable to a simple night in.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” you burst in unceremoniously.

“I wanted to surprise you!” came his bemused reply.

“Well I wouldn’t have scheduled mediation if I’d known you were coming back,” you fixed him with a stubborn look.

“I know,” he de-escalated the situation completely, grabbing you by the wrists and pulling you towards himself. “Hello.”

“H-hello,” you swallowed, nervous at his touch.

“I missed you,” Jeonghan smiled softly down at you. “I’m not mad. I’m glad you came.”

“I-,” your adrenaline fueled nerves melted into relief and your heart stuttered in your chest. “I missed you too.” 

“Do you want to go out? Or do you want to stay in?” he asked, pushing a few stray hairs out of your face.

“I wouldn’t mind staying in, to be honest. I need to give you an earful about Hoshi,” you couldn’t help but tease.

“I’m sure you do,” he smiled at you. “Go sit down and I’ll grab you a drink.”

“Wait, before you do,” you caught him before he could step away completely. You tugged him in by the front of his shirt and pressed your lips to his. His arms folded around you and his lips curled into a smile. “I missed you beyond a reasonable doubt,” you smiled cheesily at him when you pulled away.

“My god,” Jeonghan rolled his eyes affectionately at you, “I like you so much.”

back to index

#jeonghan fanfic #svthub #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seungkwansphd:writes #room for interpretation

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Just Tap Out

Oikawa sees his boyfriend get his arm broken in the ring.

For @crusthug

Oikawa was panicking.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was.

He’d grown used to your job. You were an athlete, just like he was. It was how you initially bonded. But your sports were massively different, and it had never been more clear than it was tonight.

He, admittedly, hadn’t been familiar with UFC until he learned it was what you did. And then he spent days down a rabbit hole of researching it, like how he invested himself in watching volleyball game tapes to analyze playing style. He knew it was violent.

But you had always won. He had never had to see you the way he saw you tonight, pinned with an almost certainly broken arm. You didn’t tap out, the ref never called for a stop for the medic like he absolutely should have.

He still had no idea how you managed to knock your opponent out with only one working arm. But he didn’t plan to be quiet about it.

You exited the locker room, arm in a sling after seeing the official doctor, and found your boyfriend waiting for you, “Tooru, hey, I didn’t-“

“What the fuck was that, Y/N!?” You were caught off guard by the aggression in his voice, “Why didn’t you tap out? Why didn’t you take care of yourself!?”

“I…I knew I could win…I thought you’d understand that…”

“Winning isn’t everything!” He threw his hands up, tugging at his usual picture perfect hair, his volume rising and echoing off the corridor walls.

You held out your good hand, reaching for him but he brushed you off, “Tooru, baby, you don’t need to worry about me. It’s nothing I’m not used to. I thought you understood the dangers by now.”

“I thought I did too.” He answered, glare on his face, “But I just had to watch my boyfriend get hurt because he wouldn’t just give up!”

Ordinarily, you were the one that told the two of you to take a step back, so neither of you would say something you’d regret. But you were in pain, and honestly you were getting tired of always being the bigger person when he threw a fit.

You wanted to scoff. How many times had you said the same thing to him? How many times did he ignore your concern when his knee was bothering him because he thought he needed more and more practice?

You wanted to scoff.

So you did.

Fixing him with your own glare, you asked him, “So why does this apply to me and not to you?”

“Excuse me!?”

“You heard me, Tooru!” You yelled back, “If I’m supposed to give up when I can get hurt, in a contact sport where injuries are almost as commonplace as championships, why aren’t you supposed to give up when your injuries only happens because you ignored the doctor’s orders and didn’t go easy with the extra practicing??”

Oikawa narrowed his eyes, “Don’t try make this about that, I-“

“No! Let’s make this about that!” You cut in, stepping toward him. By reflex he took a step back, “Why is it a one way street here all the time? Why are you allowed to worry me when you work later and later every week even though the doctor has told you and told you again and again to take it easy? But I get hurt one single time in the years we’ve been together, years I’ve been doing this- this thing that I love and have the same passion for that you do for volleyball!?” Your chest heaved when you finished, but he was ready to go again. It felt like an hour the two of you argued in that hallway before you realized you may have let it go a little too far. In a much calmer tone, you decided to deescalate for the time being, “I’m…I’m going to go ahead home.”

“You can’t drive! Let me-“

“I’d rather be alone right now, Tooru.” You didn’t mean to cut him off as sharply as you did, “I’ll have my coach drop me off.”

He watched you go, feeling the crushing weight of guilt when he realized you were right. Who was he to yell at you like that?

When had he ever listened to you when you tried to make him take care of his knee?

When had you ever gotten mad at him over it?

Would you even forgive him for this?

Iwaizumi was expecting a FaceTime call when your match ended. He watched the fight on tv, and every time after you were cleaned up his annoying best friend would call so that he could congratulate you on the win.

He didn’t expect this call to be met with Oikawa’s tear stricken face.

You had made a promise very early on in your relationship that unless you had work, you’d be attending every single one of each other’s matches. That you never let anything personal interfere.

But when it was the next day and Oikawa had never come home, you were questioning going to his game.

In the end, you caved. You threw his spare jersey on as carefully as you could while you cradled your arm, and made your way to the gym. Some fans recognized you, and asked for pictures when they realized you couldn’t sign autographs. You posed as cheerfully as you could.

Oikawa didn’t look for you like he usually did during warm ups. His eyes never even drifted toward the crowd. Like he was forcing himself not to check.

Tooru didn’t know if he could handle looking out and not seeing you there. When he’d met you years ago, you had been almost pushy to keep the relationship out of the public eye, because you didn’t want his fan club to turn on him for having a boyfriend. But then you went to one of his games on a whim, and when he saw you in the crowd it was like a new energy filled him.

When he won, he didn’t think twice before finding you in the stands and kissing the air out of your lungs.

He’d give anything to have that moment again.

His sets were off.

His serves didn’t have their usual strength.

He could tell he was getting close to subbed out.

But then he heard it.

Your voice.

Cheering his name.

You saw the way his head snapped around, finding you.

The look of relief that washed over his face was unreal.

He won the game. And without waiting for a moment, he charged into the stands and pulled you into his arms, “My prince, I didn’t- I’m sorry- I just- I am so sorry.” You held him as best you could, ignoring the crowd’s stares as he sobbed into your neck. When he pulled away, he finally looked you in the eyes again, “Why did you come? I didn’t expect you to.”

You shrugged with your good arm, “I promised you I would.”

He kissed you, long and deep as the crowd cheered, “I need to talk to the coach. Give me- just give me a few minutes! I’ll be back before you can miss me!”

“I miss you as soon as you walk away.”

He groaned, “Stop being cute! Five minutes!”

It wasn’t until he was holding you in bed that night that he revealed he convinced his coach that he needed time off. He was going to make up for yelling at you by resting himself and helping you heal.

Masterlist

#oikawa x reader #haikyuu x male reader #oikawa x male reader #haikyuu x reader

[holden-caulfield]

𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

━ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐌.𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - 𝐉.𝐓. 𝐌.𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

━ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: nights in gotham are hard for vigilantes, but when things get too rough, jason always knows where to go. (part two can be found here "HABITS")

━ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jason todd x nurse!fem!reader

━ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃: yes

━ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: blood and injuries and me not knowing how wounds are treated. also, for some reason i wrote this in third person, don't know why but yeah... reader uses she/her pronouns.

━ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1082

It was bad, but not worse than he had already gone through. It was bad, but not so bad that he couldn't walk to her house.

Some severe gashes in his side, maybe two, maybe more. A head concussion, a light one, an irrelevant one. A bullet wound; an awfully hurtful one. Stashed under his ribs, that one hurt like a motherfucker but Jason would have never told her.

He would have never told her how pitiful he felt as he staggered to her door, bloody and beaten up. He would have never told her how grateful he was that she had such a delicate touch, despite his rough demeanor. And, most of all, he would have never told her how he felt about her, because if he did, it would have been impossible for him to stagger to her door once more, to ask for her help again.

And so he kept it inside as he knocked on the door.

He would usually climb through the window, carefully avoiding the possibility of neighbors seeing the red hood at her house; that would have raised suspicions. But that night, it was almost impossible for him to do that without losing consciousness first. So he knocked, once, twice, three times.

"Y/n, it's- it's me." He whispered to the door, hoping she was still awake, hoping she hadn't changed her mind about him, about helping him.

Sometimes he wished she had: he hated going to her house, putting her in constant danger, showing her that side of him he wanted so desperately to hide under the big bad red hood façade he had so carefully built. He hated asking for help, he hated that he had to ask her.

But he would have hated even more asking someone that wasn't her. She never judged him; she mocked him sometimes, but lightly, lovingly.

She opened the door, a panicked look on her face as she ushered him in. "I left the window open for you, what-"

But she stopped herself as she saw the blood, muttering a few curses under her breath as she guided him to her couch.

"Stay here, and apply pressure with this." She commanded, throwing him a towel.

He did as he was told. He wanted to reply, to say something, but air seemed to lack from his lungs as he pressed on his wound.

Still, he made no sound, made no grimace. As if nothing had happened, as if he wasn't almost dying on her couch.

"What happened?" She asked, rushed as she got her medical kit out, displayed on the ground in front of him.

"Rough night," he said simply, the muscles in his jaw jumping as she began her work. It was a meticulous job, precise in every single movement, delicate and elegant, and it always mesmerized him.

"It's always a rough night with you, Jason," she sighed. "Not once have you come here with something a bandaid could've cured."

He gritted his teeth as she dabbed the needle in his flesh. Blood was still coating every inch of his side, sticky against his skin, and he wondered how she was able to see, to stitch him up so good every time.

"What kind of bandaids do you have?" He asked, steadying his voice, making it sound so unfazed.

She shook her head, eyes still set on the wound, now looking far better than before. "Batman ones."

"No Red Hood ones?" He pouted.

She glanced at him, quickly and unforgettably. "They don't sell bandaids of rank B heroes."

"Ouch." He muttered. She looked at him and he smiled, reassuring her. "I hope you have a big Batman one for my hurt ego."

"They don't make bandaids that big, Jason."

He looked away, laughing as she continued her work. She was cleaning the wound now, gently, but it still hurt.

She grabbed a new piece of gauze, dousing it in disinfectant, and began dabbing at the minor scratches.

He grasped her wrist and stopped her. She raised her eyes to meet his. "That's enough, i can take it from here."

She narrowed her eyes to slits, freeing her arm from his hold. "No, no you can't! You can barely stand."

"I can stand just fine," and to prove his point, he began getting up, but a single hand of hers splayed on his chest was enough to make him forget his previous goal.

"No you can't," she stated once more. "You've been a hero all night, let me be one now and patch you up, okay?"

He sighed defeated and let his head fall back on the pillows. "You don't have to do it, really."

"And you don't have to go around every night in that red mask saving lives," she said, picking up from where she had left off with her gauze. "Why do you do it?"

He didn't answer, instead letting her continue. He watched her movements like a kid at a museum, fascinated, amazed, so engrossed by her and all she did.

"Thank you, Y/n." He finally said.

She didn't look up, changing the gauze once it had become scarlet. "Don't mention it."

"Why do you do it?" He mimicked her.

"Do what?" She said, still not looking at him.

He stopped her ministrations once again, lifting her chin with the tip of his fingers so that she couldn't avoid his gaze any longer. "This, helping me."

"I help people, it's what i do." She declared, eyes boring right into his. He looked away, but she turned his face towards her own this time, fingers tracing the line of his cheek, his jaw. "And because it's the only way i can make sure you don't die out there, Jason. So please, let me finish now."

"Later."

"Jason, i told you i-" her lips got caught in his, his hand pressing her against him.

Too long he had waited for that moment, too long she had let him wait. He wouldn't have waited anymore.

In that moment, he forgot everything: how he swore never to tell her, never to show her just how he felt about her. How everything would have become so much more difficult now that he had done that one, reckless, beautiful thing.

He forgot everything as he focused on the one thing that mattered, that had always mattered; her. Her hair tangled in his fingers, her skin warm at his touch, her nose grazing at his cheek, her lips soft against his own.

jason todd taglist - @wh0re4blaise @pagesofhistory @sanctimoniousslytherpuff @maybesandohnos @youreso-golden @beforeoursunsets @o-rion-sta-r @mollysolo @dlmmdl @chaoticgirl04 @badass-yn @peachybaes @dreamcxtcherr @aleksanderwh0r3 @miraclesoflove @amourslover @i-love-scott-mccall @just-wordsandthoughts @onyourgoddamnleft @whofitsemi

[if your name is crossed out, check your privacy settings! if you don't want to be tagged anymore, tell me!]

#jason todd #jason todd x nurse!reader #jason todd masterlist #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #fanfiction #fanfic #dc comics #batman

[sapphic-agent]

Hi, thanks for answering my questions. I have tons of them mha is a gold mine for "learn what not to do in a story"

Izu gets absolutely no credit and...I want to talk about smth. The cleaning beach episode.

"Heroes dont do good deeds to seek rewards" is a fine lesson. It has its merit and I do like the whole idea.

My issues goes to

1) AM didn't notice anything odd about Izu? How he views himself or act? Again, not saying AM should read his mind nor investigate every lil thing but sure having a talk about "why you want to be a hero" could lead to am learning Izu's self steem issues.

2) Heroes do get credit! They do their jobs sure but at the end of day "wow thanks hero" can be heard. Why Izu cant get credit for cleaning the beach? (According the wiki it became a point for romance)

3) I do like the cleaning beach. I do. But how menaged to attract no one's attention? A kid comes from the beach for 10 months and cleaned up all on himself. People would be impressed.(wanna show how humble your character is? Make him interact with fame)

4)it open a pattern. Izu can split the ocean and people would ignore. Bk does nothing and people will fawn over it.

The list goes on and on but why Izu cant get any credit or reconigtion and became the butt of a joke.

"Heroes dont do things for glory" all fine and dandy, but this only applies to Izu.

"Heroes font do things for glory. Izu, now break yoir bones and mind for everyone and expect nothing"

Funny bc...AM has fame. He is the #1 and he wanted Izu to follow his steps...(I totally get why there AM bashing) but at the same time, he does nothing for his heir.

No problem, I love answering asks! (sorry for the wait with this one)

1. As much as I love All Might, he isn't always as on top of things as he should be especially concerning Izuku. Could be a lot of reasons for this, but I think it really boils down to the smile through it mentality that he takes on. He thinks that because Izuku keeps the smile on that he's strong enough to handle whatever issues he's facing on his own. A toxic mentality for sure. He should have been more vigilant and it's 100% valid to criticize him for it. BUT in his defense he seems to be a lot more aware during and after Dark Deku (one of the only bright spots of that arc). He loosens on that thinking a little bit and tries his best to support Izuku the best ways he knows how. I think this was also the arc when he realized how that mentality was negatively affecting Izuku, like when he ran off.

2. I certainly think Izuku should have gotten credit! Not necessarily immediate praise or recognition. But it would have been nice if some of his classmates discovered it and started complimenting it. Could have made for a very sweet moment.

3. It's definitely odd how no one noticed. Maybe because no one went near the beach do to it being so dirty? Maybe they were training super early in the morning when no one was awake? Idk.

4. Best example of this is the Sludge Villain. Bakugou panicked and made the situation worse with his quirk and got praised for it. Izuku was the only one who even tried to help the situation and got reprimanded for it. Double standards I guess

#izuku deserves better #mha critical #bnha criticism #ask

[aromanticbuck]

i am IN LOVE with the new cozy trio hospital au its perfect !!!!!! (does it have a nickname?)

if you have more hcs or ideas to share from this universe please please do i absolutely want to hear them !! (no pressure though ofc)

⚡

[ AU moodboards ]

warnings for the moodboard post and below headcanons: drug use, addiction, depression, attempted suicide, abuse, hospital stays

The 2011 AU my beloved! Honestly, I did the math and realized Hailey was ~19 (by my birthday headcanons) when Jay was with Mouse in the hospital for his (also my headcanon) overdose in November of 2011. And for about... two weeks? This AU is one of the only things I've thought about. I have so many thoughts.

(and the only things I've been calling it are "the new cozy trio au" and "the 2011 au" it doesn't have an official tag or anything yet)

Hailey, who is still a teenager shows up to lunch that first day and Mouse's immediate reaction is to ask Jay why there's an infant in their booth (in his defense, he's still going through the worst of withdrawals and he's cranky, and he wasn't expecting a third person at lunch)

it wasn't Jay's plan to play host for more than a couple weeks - he wanted to give Mouse a comfortable place to get and stay clean, and he wanted to offer Hailey a warm, safe place to sleep until she can get her feet under her

then it's been three months and it doesn't look like that's changing any time soon, so they pool their money to get a bigger place, if only so Hailey doesn't have to keep sleeping on the couch

and, yeah, it's in a less great part of town, and it definitely feels as cheap as it is, but Jay's the only one between the three of them who has a steady income while Mouse and Hailey have minimum wage jobs without guaranteed hours, so they'll take what they can get while they try to save money

Hailey applies to the police academy the year she turns 21, both because she still remembers Trudy from her childhood and Jay is so excited about just moving up to Intelligence and she wants to be excited with him, to some extent

Mouse stays clean and sober after 2011, for the most part. there's relapses, and bouts of unemployment, and months where he misses his cut of the rent, but he has two roommates to catch him when he stumbles and offer the support he needs when he's struggling

of course, Jay helps him get into a rehab facility when he decides he wants to try the professional route of getting clean again, and helps him get the job with Intelligence once he's living in the apartment full time again

no one reenlists in this AU because as much as I love the parallels in canon the idea of splitting up the cozy trio when they're happy and stable makes me sad 💜

yes, everyone is tired of the trio agreeing each other and forming an automatic alliance during every case and disagreement, but there's nothing they can do to stop it

Voight tried to put his No Relationships Within The Unit rule into place but like... it's really hard to control them when they all live together and spend every minute away from work together? like he can try to enforce it but that's not gonna change the fact that their home has a huge bed that they all fit in and can lay around in every weekend to watch movies

it's just a lot of domestic chaos that comes from one shared traumatic week and the healing that comes after that, filled with a lot of unconditional emotional support

(bonus two of the three panicking and being protective of the other any time one of them is in danger, which, as in canon, is practically constantly)

#answered #⚡ anon #jay halsted #mouse gerwitz #greg mouse gerwitz #greg gerwitz #hailey upton #upstead #moustead #mouseupstead #cozy trio #cpd #chicago pd #one chicago #the 2011 au #alex says things #this au really needs a tag actually

[francisversion2]

Imagine ur 18 years of age

(Tw: minor child abuse)

Your 18 and you just got a offer to escape ur abusive household.

Last year of my high school, we had a exchange teacher, he was Italian a history professor at a university. From the start of the year I did great, I was best in history... I was close with the teacher I wasn't aware at the time it was bc he realized my family situation.

It's June ... No more needs to study only inpatient waiting for the school graduation.

My history teacher approaches me telling me I got in few universities I apply for but he tells me a thing that would change my life for ever. He told me tmw he is leaving for Italy back to his old university job , he got me to graduate early and asked me one question.

"Visne libertatem gustare?"

(Do you want to taste freedom)

He informed me that I could, leave my abusive household behind and leave with him tmw. I agreed ofc I felt the freedom at the tips of my fingers.

I ran home trying to hide my happiness, when I enter my dad is home, he yells at me for smiling before trying to hit me with a beer bottle, that shatters in million pieces of green glass... I entered my room. Pull out my bag...

It hits me, what should I pack?

How am I supposed to know I never ran away from home ...

I opened the bag and start shoving clothes, a sketch book ( I had two but I left behind one) ...

My mother came behind me unhappy as always with that stupid belt, I don't fight I let her do it... The reason she did it I later remembered it that i skipped religioun class...

When she leaves I grab few books:

• The secret history, it was falling apart, blood on some pages, tear stains...

•dead poet society, It had blood too from the same incident , grip marks I held the book so tight once that it left a mark

•virgin suicide , damaged too

•the great Gatsby, blood smeared over the cover

...

The books left, I regret not taking with me ... But I couldn't...

I shove them in the bag , shoving my phone in there too.

I looked around the room, panicking what should I pack. Even though I was 18 I grabbed a plushie I had since I was a kid shoving it in there....

That night I couldn't sleep, no matter what I did , how many times I turned, i didn't fell asleep.

In the morning I ran away...

We were driving in his car, I felt a strange feeling, was it freedom, happiness... Sadness...

Maybe they would miss me when I am gone ... I overthinking to myself...

When we arrived , I stayed in his apartment for the whole summer learning Italian to a expert level...

I hopped they would come looking for me at least miss me a bit...

But on 11th of July, my history professor came , sat me down and gave me the paper... I was disowned

It was no surprise... I expected it surely I did... But why did my heart shattered in so many pieces when I read it... They didn't care I knew that... But deep down I hoped they did...

I cried for days , I longed for the comfort I never had from them...

Few days later he gave me another paper... Legal guardian... He became my legal guardian... Well he didn't.. he needed me to sign it for him. I didn't think twice scribbling my name on the paper... Ofc I didn't need to do that since I was 18 years of age but I did ...

I changed my first name and last name, it was my choice. Now every time I hear someone calling me by my old name I feel blood freezing in my veins.

Ofc my life got better, I go to therapy and I am doing better mentally...

But the memories the slightest touch , a flash back bring me back into that dark place, into my bedroom...

I love the love that I receive now , but sometimes the guilt and feeling that I am selfish for not being satisfied with the love that I received ...

Deep down in the darkest bits of my soul lives a unfulfilled desire for that unfulfilled parentale love I never received.

All I wanted was for them to love me and still I crave at nights their love I never got...

#vent #tw child abuse #childhood #tsh

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey how about Thenamesh AU with Thena being a lifeguard and saving Gil’s life because he is almost drowning because a group of 3 men who wants to measure their strength against him (cause it’s Gil and his nice muscles xD) and thinking it’s funny to surprise him from behind and push and hold him under water for fun not really caring how he struggles against them and almost passes out?

Some angst, hurt, comfort and fluff!

Thena glanced at him over the rim of her sunglasses before turning her attention back to the rest of the beach.

She hadn't told anyone they were together yet, and neither had Gilgamesh, as far as he'd told her. She wanted more time to be private about it and he was fine with that, because that was Gil's way. He was sweet and funny and charming--everything her exes weren't.

"Checkin' out body-ody-ody over there?"

Thena huffed, glaring at Kingo leaning against the base of the lifeguard tower. "I'm doing my job--you should try it some time."

"Hey, I'm on break," Kingo shrugged, grinning up at her and holding his hand over his eyes and his own sunglasses. "I just figured you'd wanna know that those surfers are challenging Gil to some muscle head competition again."

"And that concerns me?" Thena murmured, still playing dumb to the implications he was making.

Kingo knew better than to make blind swings with his fellow lifeguard, though. He twirled his whistle around his finger. "Well, unless you agree to apply sunscreen to any dude's back who asks-"

She blushed; she had only done that...a few times. And Gil really did have a hard time getting the very centre of his back. It was all those muscles of his...

Kingo climbed up beside her on the bolted structure, raising the binoculars in the side pouch. "They're lining up to race."

Thena rolled her eyes at it. It was pretty common for other men at the beach to feel threatened by Gilgamesh's mere presence. But they couldn't compete with him. Not only in terms of personal appeal, but literally--every time someone challenged Gil to a friendly competition he won. He certainly didn't want to compete in them, but he still managed to win all of them.

"Idiots," Kingo snorted as he lowered the binoculars and saw the distant specs dive into the water and start swimming. He was no slouch either, as both a lifeguard and a dude who liked being cut. But Gil was obviously stronger than any competitor to challenge him yet.

"I don't see why they bother," Thena sighed, watching - or trying not to - as they swam further and further out. She leaned her chin into her palm, "what is it that makes them keep asking him?"

"Hm," Kingo mused, as if observing a flock or birds or a couple of squirrels in a tree. "Male pride is a funny thing--drives them to do crazy things."

Thena nodded faintly. It didn't help explain why he accepted their challenges either.

Kingo picked up on her confusion easily enough. He chuckled, "and when they're trying to impress someone - say, a girl they like - then they might be more stupid than normal."

She didn't seem to get what he was saying, but he raised the binoculars again.

Thena watched Kingo frown and then looked up and out to the water again. "Where's Gil?"

"I don't see him," Kingo answered, searching around with them. He could see the others, all swimming and laughing between themselves. "Is he underwater?"

Thena snatched the binoculars out of Kingo's hands, ignoring his complaints. She felt her throat tighten, "where is he?"

Kingo looked at his more and more panicked friend, "I'm sure he's fine."

Thena sat forward in the tower seat, watching as the group started frowning at each other, looking down at the water. "Something's wrong."

"Thena, take it easy," Kingo tried to soothe as she scrambled down from the seat and started down the beach. He ran beside her, also prepared to take action.

The group with Gil swam back towards the shore, hauling him behind them. "We didn't-"

"Shut up!" Thena barked at them, grabbing Gil for herself and pulling him atop her board to help him float. She pulled him to shore, her legs straining against the water as she kicked up a storm in her rush. "All of you, get away from him!"

"We're sorry! We didn't-"

Kingo blew his whistle at them, shooing them away from Thena as she got Gil onto land again. "You heard her guys, back the hell up."

"Gil?" she called to him, although it came out as more of a whimper as she patted his cheek. His face was scrunched up, but at least he was conscious. "Gil, can you breathe?"

He just groaned in response. Thena turned him over, letting him drape himself over her knee in hopes of getting the water up and out of him. He coughed and sputtered a few times, but he was breathing.

"That's it," Thena sniffed, rubbing his shoulder - between patting his back - as he coughed. "Let it out."

"What the hell happened out there?!" Kingo turned to the other three.

They flinched, "look, it was a friendly competition, okay? We didn't-"

"Didn't what?!" Thena snapped at them as she held Gil's head in her lap. "Didn't mean to hold him under the water until he couldn't breathe!?"

"Thena," Gil uttered weakly, his eyes cracking open just barely.

"Sh, it's okay," she whispered to him, pressing a hand to his chest to feel his heart rate. His breathing was still shallow, but it was reassuring nonetheless. "Do you know where you are?"

Gil blinked up at the open sky behind Thena's head. He looked at her as he managed a smile, "heaven, judging by how you're holding me."

"Oh my god," Kingo rolled his eyes at the couple. He blew his whistle again, waving his arms to disperse the crowd that had gathered around them. "Okay, nothin' to see here, people. Go back to your beaching!"

"Gil, you scared me," Thena sighed, running her fingers through his wet hair as she held him.

"Just let me lie here for another hour and I'll be fine."

#Thenamesh AU #Gil going to the beach everyday #because of this gorgeous lifeguard #prepared to crush on her from afar #only to get the shock of his life when she approaches him #because she's noticed him too of course #it would be pretty hard not to notice Gil after all #she thinks she's been subtle about it #but Kingo has had to watch her check Gil out from afar for a month already #poor guy #Thenamesh Lifeguard AU

[j-a-nuary]

CARRIER

Re-introductions

<< first | < backward | masterlist | forward >

Stray Kids Urban fantasy AU (feat. Ateez from time to time) | A “carrier service” exists, seemingly only to get people (usually women) home safe after the trains stop running.

Heavy on bad boys with hearts of… some kind of shiny metal, probably.

Warnings: Affectionate use of the word whore, drinking, flirting, the concept of "dibs" being applied to a person (y'know, with free will?)

=====

"You're a real piece of shit Han Jisung," Tempawan clapped a hand on the back of her newly rediscovered friend.

"Shim Tempawan," Jisung turned, quickly wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug, "you absolute whore."

He was pretending to be surprised, and doing a damn good job of it. He had, of course, smelled her as soon as she entered the bar. Ripe mangosteen and something like liquor. A smell he hadn't recognized two days ago, but now was bewildered that he had ever forgotten.

"Do you ever wonder what people must think of us?" She asked him as he rocked back and forth, his hug dragging her along for the ride.

"Never," he finally stopped and turned, leaving one arm around her shoulders, "let me introduce you to my friends."

Tempawan hadn't noticed the few men standing with Jisung.

"This is Kim Hongjoong…"

A man with his hair tied back nodded, polite but seemingly uninterested in making friends.

"He, uh, owns a couple businesses around here. Song Mingi…"

Six feet if he was an inch, a slightly deeper nod, and a friendly smile.

"... works for him, but don't hold that against him. Park Seonghwa…"

A calculating head tilt, a sweep of the eyes. No nod.

"Is a lawyer? I believe…"

Seonghwa simply nodded.

"Oh perfect!" Jisung lit up a little bit as a surprisingly familiar head of golden curls approached. "This i-"

"Boots?!" Tempawan couldn't hold back from interrupting.

Felix stopped suddenly, nearly toppling the couple of glasses on the tray he held.

"Boots?" Hongjoong was suddenly very interested in the conversation. A grin split his face as he swept his eyes over Felix. For what must have been the first time, he noticed the heel on his shoes.

"You motherfucker! Call me short one more time you fucking liar!"

An interesting combination of concern and amusement spread across Seonghwa's features. He knew that Hongjoong was, mostly, joking around. Still, he could get a little sensitive at times; about the strangest things too.

For his part, Felix looked panicked. He shot Tempawan a harried kind of smile, then tugged at Jisung’s jacket.

"Hey, Sung, a word?"

Jisung, seemingly oblivious to his friend's distress, just tilted his head.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I mean, uh, could we maybe…"

Tempawan took action to disperse as much tension as she could.

"Hey, I'm going to grab a drink. Don't wait up for me," she teased Jisung. Offering the others a quick nod, she headed for the bar.

=====

Felix immediately tugged Jisung aside. Jisung tried, and failed, to grab one of the glasses from the tray that Felix had finally set down on the table.

"What the fuck is she doing here?"

"I don't know," Jisung shrugged, lifting the glass to his lips.

"You didn't invite her?" Felix pressed.

"Fuck no," Jisung huffed, "why would I invite her when I know that Chan and Changbiiaaaah fuck…"

Felix felt no little satisfaction at the way Jisung’s face went pale.

Jisung wasn't stupid. He was even brilliant when he actually put the work in. He just had a tendency towards forgetfulness and getting distracted.

"Exactly. You've got to find a way to get her out of here," Felix explained, "now."

"Alright, alright," Jisung waved his hand dismissively, "just let me think for a second, fuck."

"I don't mean to interrupt," Seonghwa interrupted, "but your friend there - is she single?"

Jisung blinked, trying to process the new information being insinuated.

"What? Yeah, I think so," he shook his head before fixing Seonghwa with a piercing look, "why?"

Seonghwa nodded towards the bar.

As one, Felix and Jisung turned.

Tempawan was laughing, leaning forward, playing with the straw in her drink. All fine and normal things to do while flirting at a bar. No problems there.

However, she was laughing with, leaning towards, and now reaching up to fix the collar of none other than one Jeong Yunho.

=====

Glad to be clear of the oddity of running into a carrier in the wild, Tempawan hopped up onto a seat by the corner of the bar. She figured she'd be out of the way enough to not interfere with the bartender's business.

"What can I get you, my friend?"

She smiled at the bartender, briefly looking over the taps on display.

"The sour please."

"And did you want to start a tab?"

"Sure," she pulled her bag forward, setting it on the bar, "just le-"

"You can put it on mine," a voice said somewhere to the right of, and slightly above her.

She looked up, seeing a kind enough looking man nodding his assurance to the bartender.

“You don’t have to-”

He raised a hand, waving her words aside. Turning to give her a somewhat childish smile, Yunho couldn’t help but wonder why he was being so forward. It wasn’t really his style. But for whatever reason, he had decided to go for it.

“No pressure,” he assured her, “you can walk away right now if you like.”

The seeping chill, and rising heat, had become something like background noise to Tempawan over the last few days. Relying once again on that highly contextual anecdotal evidence, she knew that there was really only one thing that would make it go away.

Besides, this guy wasn’t half bad looking.

“I think I’ll give you a chance to persuade me to stay.”

=====

"He's going to get murdered," Felix muttered under his breath.

"Who's getting murdered?" Hongjoong had now joined the three of them. He followed their gaze towards the bar, and cocked his head slightly.

"She seems into it. Besides," Hongjoong shrugged, "you all know he's a nice enough guy."

"No," Jisung barely breathed the word, "you don't get it."

"What's to get?" Seonghwa asked.

"They might not be dating," Jisung started.

"But that's Changbin’s girl," Felix finished.

The group of them silently watched the two chat. Jisung hated hearing her be described as Changbin’s girl. He hated it more than watching the way Yunho pretended that making way for another patron was the reason he had to move closer to her. He hated it more than the way she smiled and seemed to blush at the new closeness.

He actually hated it less than watching Yunho bend down and speak more directly into her ear.

Jisung took a step forward, but Felix grabbed his wrist.

"We have to come up with a way to make Changbin late," Felix suggested. "Tell him to pick something up at the store or something."

"Like what?" Jisung asked. He kept his eyes on Tempawan, an entire orchard of mangosteen trees seeming to have suddenly ripened in Jisung’s nostrils as Tempawan’s tongue peeked out to wet her lips. As if that weren't bad enough, he felt himself start to shake slightly when Yunho put a hand on her arm.

Felix felt it too.

"Focus."

"Why is it a big deal?" Hongjoong asked, "You said they aren't dating, right? Changbin’s not a totally unreasonable guy."

"No offense, Joong," Felix tried his best to sound both appeasing and assured, "but he's changed since he stopped working for you."

"Changed is…" Jisung sighed, finally tearing his eyes off of Tempawan, "putting it lightly."

"I didn't know him before," Seonghwa added, "but he definitely doesn't scream stability to me."

Mingi, who up until now had been content to watch and listen, pushed his way past the other four men.

=====

Yunho spotted his friend approaching, and tried to give him a subtle head shake. He didn’t know if Mingi hadn’t noticed it or was just ignoring it, but he did not halt his steps.

Mingi had noticed the gesture, but based on what he had heard from Felix and Jisung, he figured that he was doing Yunho a favor by interrupting.

“I think I’m about to be pulled away,” Yunho said.

Resting her chin on her palm, Tempawan pursed her lips, affecting a pseudo-pout to match the flirtation in her voice as she spoke.

“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you don’t need to make an excuse,” she made a conscious effort to run a thumb over her bottom lip in a way that might seem subconscious as she glanced at Yunho’s lips.

“No pressure,” she added.

Yunho was in. He knew he was in. The fact that he knew he was in was evidence of just how in he was. Yunho knew he was typically oblivious to advances from women. Or men. His friends constantly made fun of him for missing out because he just thought everyone was being nice.

“It’s not an excuse,” his eyes were glued to Tempawan’s now slightly smeared lipstick, “are you going to be here a while?”

“Depends,” she had now clocked Mingi’s approach, working out that he was probably who Yunho was talking about, “one of my friends is here so I might stick around.”

“Yu-”

“Mingi, right?” Tempawan cut him off, flashing him the wide eyed smile that she had learned was one of her better weapons for disarming men.

“Yes,” Mingi nodded once before turning his attention to Yunho, “they’re going to be here soon.”

Yunho groaned, letting his head fall forward for a second before straightening up.

“Fine,” he gave Tempawan a soft smile, “we’re kind of having a business thing. I’d like to talk more afterwards. No pressure.”

Barely twenty minutes, and they already had an inside joke. Tempawan was actually impressed.

“I’ll be around,” she nodded.

“Actually,” Felix cut in, a tense smile plastered across his face, “you won’t. We need to talk.”

Tempawan practically jumped, having had zero awareness of Boots’ approach. She pressed a hand against her chest, trying to settle her heart rate.

“Why?”

Felix glanced between Little Turtle and the two men. Mingi, having been present for the discussion about Changbin, seemed to be accepting what was happening. Yunho looked, for lack of a better word, curious.

Felix shot them an ingratiating smile before trying to impress upon Little Turtle the severity of the situation.

“Remember the conversation we had? About names?”

Mingi, having mastered the art of reading the room, started directing Yunho back towards their table.

Tempawan could see Boots visibly relax as they got further away.

“Yeah,” she shot a playful pout over his shoulder at Yunho when he glanced back. Turning her attention back to Boots, she tilted her head, “it’s dangerous or whatever.”

=====

“What did I miss out on?” Yunho asked Mingi as he was ushered away.

“Long story short…” Mingi sighed, “Changbin apparently has dibs.”

Yunho looked back, heart skipping a beat when he saw the look she gave him.

“Does she know that?”

“No idea.”

=====

“Right,” his voice was sharp, pressing into Tempawan’s ear like thorns, “so when I say that you should leave…”

He left the rest unsaid, offering her the opportunity to come to the natural conclusion.

She licked her lips, thinking over everything she knew about the carriers, Boots, and the new people she had been introduced to.

“Does Jisung work with you?”

He closed his eyes in frustration, then cleared his throat.

“I literally can not have that conversation with you.”

“So he does,” she nodded slowly. From everything she remembered about Jisung, he wasn’t the type to get involved in anything dangerous. Not on purpose anyway. But a lot could happen in a few years.

Her eyes scanned the group, finding Jisung’s familiar form easily enough.

Something occurred to her then, and she met his eyes again.

“So you both work with Bin.”

Felix could feel the situation unraveling much faster than he would have liked. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his chin.

“Okay,” he huffed, “listen: if you leave right now, I swear that I will find a way to get you some answers. But you absolutely can not be here when the others arrive.”

“How come you’re telling me all of this instead of Jisung?”

Felix took a deep breath, trying to control his patience.

“Again,” he smiled a smile of flower fields under bright sunshine, “answers later. Leaving now.”

Tempawan blinked, temporarily disarmed by the delightfully pastoral man in front of her.

“Fine,” she sighed, “you know the club Sonar?”

Felix nodded.

“Somebody from here better show up there once you’re done here.”

“Fine,” Felix agreed easily enough, “great even. Now you need to go.”

Tempawan threw back the remaining sour in her glass and nodded.

“Oh, uh, Boots,” she smiled at him, “if you and Jisung are busy, you could always send Yunho.”

“Absolutely not,” he smiled at her, “we don’t need any murders tonight. Exit is that way,” he pointed towards a side door.

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes and headed out.

=====

“I’m sure your…” Chan paused, for the slightest of seconds, flashing a look in Seonghwa’s direction, “lawyer has some questions.”

They had been dancing around each other for the duration of the meeting. Quick glances, barely resisted narrowing of eyes, and excessive care when choosing words had quickly become the standard for the, admittedly minimal, conversation between the two.

"Actually," Seonghwa shrugged, swirling the remaining dregs of his vieux carré, "the less I know, the better." He lifted the glass, staring Chan down as he emptied it between his lips.

Felix and Jisung exchanged a look. There was no doubt that they'd be sharing theories about the tension between the two men later on. Most likely in the group chat that conveniently excluded both their boss and their doctor.

Hongjoong, either ignorant to or disregarding the atmosphere, laughed off Seonghwa's comment. He slapped a hand against the tense man's shoulder as he spoke.

"You're so dramatic, Hwa."

Turning his attention back towards the man he had just entered into a gentleman's agreement with, he affected a stage whisper.

"He's not my lawyer if I'm not paying him, right?"

#skz fanfic #skz fic #skz x oc #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fic #stray kids x oc #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #urban fantasy #magical realism

[yutafrita]

Read 'em and Weep!- THREE

Pairing: Journalist! Jaemin x Comic Writer! Reader

Y/N Pronouns: She/Her

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Fluff, College AU

Synopsis: Not wanting to be compared to your prolific parents, you write your popular online comic under the pseudonym "Patches." Jaemin, in an attempt to appease his click hungry editors at GameLabs, writes a scathing article on the first online comic he could find- yours. How could it get any worse? He's in your Journalism Master's cohort.

Chapter Word Count: 3.8K

Master List

Tag List! @nini0620

THREE

You, Swan, and Hendery sat awkwardly in the small tattoo parlor, looking encouragingly Ireh’s way as the artist applied the stencil to her upper back.

“God it was so awkward when he came over yesterday,” you forced a smile as you spoke to Hendery and Swan, not wanting Ireh to see your frown and further panic about her permanent ink.

“I can’t believe he think it’s me,” Hendery’s teeth looked more gritted than a forced smile.

“Hendery you better smile with your eyes,” Swan’s smile seemed incredibly forced, but when Ireh glanced your way for encouragement, everyone shot a thumbs up. “Honestly, with how much you guys have been speaking I would think he’d catch on that it’s you.”

“We haven’t spoken that much,” you denied, staring down at your shoes.

“What school project requires him to be at our place everyday for nearly a month?” Swan pointed, her eyebrows furrowing. Hendery nodded in agreement, affirming Swan’s point.

“You know how I am about school projects,” you muttered.

“Yeah, if you could do everything on your own and not talk to someone, you would,” Hendery scoffed, this time earning an affirming nod from Swan.

“I think you’re hurt,” Swan then smiled, causing you and your cousin to smile back at Ireh who was turning to you in a panicked state as the artist began the work on her tattoo.

“Why would I be hurt? He’s just doing his job,” you grumbled, crossing your arms.

“I think you want him to see you,” Swan’s voice rose in pitch, as if hoping you would understand what she was saying.

“He sees me almost everyday- that’s what you just complained about,” your response earned a groan from Hendery and Swan.

“Eeeep is something wrong?” Ireh cried, her eyes widening.

“Everything is great! Your tattoo looks great!” You rushed, shooting her a double thumbs up to help calm her down. She nodded and turned her head, the three of you sighing in relief.

“You want him to see you,” Hendery repeated Swan’s words, shooting you a knowing glance. You rolled your eyes, and listened to Hendery and Swan bicker over the lighting choice in the tattoo parlor as you all waited on Ireh’s tattoo artist to finish up.

“Does it look good?” Ireh asked as the three of you gawked at how incredible your drawing came out on her back, and an immense sense of pride overwhelmed you.

“It looks awesome,” Swan was taking a photo of it, the three of you now watching as the artist covered the tattoo in a clear bandage. It was one thing to know that people loved reading your work, it was a different feeling to see one of your closest friends get something specially made that you’ve done, forever on her flesh.

“This reminds me of that comic,” the tattoo artist snapped his fingers, trying to think. 

“Flight of the Wolves?” Hendery asked, earning a quick nod from the artist.

“Yep! At least the art style, it’s awesome,” he affirmed. After Ireh paid and you all said goodbye to the artist, you stepped out from the parlor and into the somewhat busy city center on a Saturday evening.

---

“You said you were going to invite people,” Jaemin sighed, carrying two boxes of pizza. Yangyang and Sungchan dragged Jaemin with them to pick up dinner for tonight, having previously said that they’d be having friends over.

“Yangyang, you know you can always just ask to hang out with us like normal people,” Sungchan chastised, shaking the sodas in his hands.

“Renjun and Chenle really said they couldn’t make it!” Yangyang countered, helping push back the throngs of people to clear the way for his two roommates until he suddenly stopped on the edge of the street. 

“Are you okay?” Sungchan asked him, shifting uncomfortably with the clunky sodas in his hand.

“Is that… Swan!” Yangyang called to the other side of the street. Jaemin followed Yangyang’s gaze and froze, seeing the small group standing outside of a tattoo parlor.

“Shit,” Jaemin muttered, nerves clinging to the pit of his stomach. When he had seen you yesterday to work on the project, he was met with mostly silence. You had truly only spoken to him regarding the work for the class, unlike the past few times when you would engage in conversations about anything and everything. Of course, he hadn’t told this to Yangyang and Sungchan because he was so embarrassed about it.

“Swan!” On the other side, you all heard your roommate's name get called out, and turned to the other side of the street to see a guy waving furiously at Swan with Sungchan and Jaemin flanking him.

“Oh, Yangyang!” Swan waved back, beckoning for them to cross the street. “How does he know Jaemin?” she turned to you expectantly. You shrugged. 

You really hoped to take this weekend to decompress and think about anything that was not your schoolmate. He had taken up enough of your mental energy you felt, and now running into him on the street after your weird conversation with Swan and Hendery felt like completely the wrong time to see him again.

“I haven’t seen you since summer camp!” Yangyang greeted, hugging Swan before waving to you all. You and Jaemin made awkward eye contact before you waved at him and Sungchan, forcing a smile.

“Yangyang was a camp counselor with me the summer before undergrad!” Swan explained.

“You guys look like you’re having a fun night,” Ireh noted, pointing at the pizza box in Jaemin’s hands.

“We thought so too until we realized Yangyang lied about inviting people over,” Sungchan chastised.

“Well, are you guys busy tonight?” Yangyang turned to you all, earning a mixed set of reactions. The four of you simply planned to go back to your place and watch a superhero movie, but it was something you all always did.

“No, we aren’t!” It was Hendery who spoke up, smiling as he looked between you and Jaemin. You shot him a death glare, fully irritated by your cousin's need to shove his nose into things that don’t pertain to him.

“Yeah, sounds like fun!” Swan chimed in, sharing a knowing look with Hendery. Oh I could kill them you thought to yourself.

Jaemin’s apartment seemed ill-equipped to handle the four additional people. The couch could take four people squeezing tightly onto it, sure, but that left two people to uncomfortably sit on stools, and the office chair Jaemin wheeled out from his room. Along with this chair, he rolled out a small stack of board games that he started to unload on the side of the coffee table since the pizza took up the small center space.

“I refuse to play Monopoly,” Hendery crossed his arm, his elbows hitting Swan and Yangyang. You were standing at the kitchen island with pizza in hand as Sungchan handed you the soda you had been waiting on.

“Thanks,” you muttered, taking a sip.

“You weren’t at the family dinner last week,” he noted, leaning his elbows on the island.

“Jaemin and I were finishing some stuff for the project,” you drank more from your soda to help cover the lie you told. Yes, Jaemin was there for the project, but while he was there he mentioned how he had never seen Howl’s moving castle, so after class you had invited him over to watch the movie.

“Sure, sure,” Sungchan smirked, making his way towards the living room. You hated how awkward it was between you and Jaemin. Walking to his apartment, you two would keep stealing glances, the other being either too nervous (Jaemin) or too prideful (you) to speak to the other.

You went to take the awkward stool by the coffee table when Jaemin extended his hand to stop you.

“I’ll take that, just sit here,” he gestured to his office chair that was supremely more comfortable than the stool. You went to protest, but he quickly leapt onto the stool, leaving only the chair to be available to you.

“Thanks,” you sat down on the chair, listening to the intense discussion over what game to play.

“I hate trivia pursuit,” Yangyang groaned, earning a sigh from Ireh who eyed the game longingly.

“What about a good old fashioned game of never have I ever,” Hendery suggested, earning him a raised eyebrow from everyone else.

“Do we look like we’re in high school?” you groaned, earning a snicker from everyone else.

“She’s right, Hendery. If this was high school her and Sungchan would be dating,” Yangyang spoke, earning a deep laugh from everyone on the couch, a groan from you and Sungchan, and pure silence from Jaemin.

“It was one date,” you repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. 

“Yeah, sure,” Ireh scoffed, and you quickly threw a napkin at her face.

“Let’s play never have I ever,” you lifted your hands, fully irritated. “Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.” Ireh stuck her tongue out at you as she put a finger down. The game was fairly standard until it reached Jaemin, an odd hush falling over the room as he seemed to ponder what to say.

“Never have I ever…  been good at drawing,” he tamely spoke. You, Yangyang, Hendery, and Swan shrugged, dropping a finger at this one.

You smiled, “never have I ever been good at photography.”

“Aw come on,” Hendery sighed, dropping a finger while Jaemin quietly did so, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Come on Swan, do something juicy,” Hendery egged on.

“I don’t think anyone here has anything crazy to share,” Ireh giggled, thinking it over. “Never have I ever… I don’t know- kissed anyone in this room?” There was a pause. “See? Nothing juicy.” 

Watching as Ireh shook her head at Hendery, you and Sungchan quietly tucked your fingers, hoping no one else would notice. But, Jaemin did.

“See? Nothing, I guess I’ll-.”

“Two people put their fingers down,” Jaemin yawned, cutting off Swan. You turned your head to Jaemin, and he shot a mischievous grin as if he enjoyed watching you bicker with people.

“Ha! I told you they’ve hooked up!” Yangyang lunged up from the couch, pointing to Jaemin furiously.

“We are adults, we were kids when that happened,” you argued. It was your first date ever, and despite how awkward and weird the evening was, you and Sungchan decided to get another task out of the way- your first kiss. It was weird, but despite that you both agreed that being friends was decidedly much better than forcing a romance that simply did not exist between the two of you.

“Don’t tell your parents that- they’ll cry,” Hendery chuckled.

“They’re crazy,” you affirmed, finishing the pizza slice you realized you had not finished yet.

“They seemed normal to me,” Jaemin chimed in.

You raised your eyebrow, “you were also drunk out of your mind.”

“At least he’s a funny drunk,” Sungchan punched his friend's arm, earning a smile from Jaemin, something in your chest warming up when you saw his smile.

“You say that because he wasn’t gawking at your parents,” you scoffed, earning a forced shocked face from Jaemin.

“I was not gawking at them,” he smiled then, that bright smile you had been hoping to see again, now finally directed at you.

You all took to playing a game of life, somewhat making your own rules on the board game as you all progressed and spoke the whole way through. It was odd how well everyone seemed to get along- seeming to joke and banter well while somehow managing to make it to the end of the game. Towards the end and while everyone else was distracted, Jaemin leaned over to you, the stool giving him an awkward height over you.

“I won’t keep working on this article if you don’t want me to,” it took you by surprise, and you looked over at him as if trying to assess his sincerity. Swan and Hendery’s words kept swimming in your head then. It clicked- you wanted him to see you- every part of you, including being able to piece together the identity you’ve been hiding from most people. You didn’t want him to be like most people- you wanted him to be different.

You gently squeezed the solo cup that held your soda before softly speaking, “you have to do what’s best for yourself sometimes.”

Jaemin wasn’t satisfied with this response, although he knew that he should be. He mulled over it the rest of the game and even while he drove the rest of you back to your place, mostly silent albeit for the bickering between Ireh, Swan, and Hendery in the backseat.

“Thanks Jaemin,” you went to exit the car when his hand reached over to gently stop you from leaving the car as your roommates already had. “Everything okay?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know,” he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for, but one thing was for certain- he really liked being around you. Like, he really liked it. It made his head feel fuzzy and his cheeks hurt from smiling in the best way possible. “Do you like hanging out with me?”

You mulled over the question before nodding. “You’re kind of cool,” you joked, softly punching his arm. “Do you like hanging out with me?”

“Hm, I guess you’re cool,” Jaemin was smirking his mischievous smirk and you playfully scoffed.

“I’ll see you Monday, Jaemin,” you smiled, heading out of his car and waving before you entered your townhome to see your roommates and Hendery eagerly waiting for you in the living room.

“Please tell me you guys kissed,” Ireh had her hands holding her head, staring at you with wide eyes.

“You guys are so annoying- we’re just… friends?” it came out as a question, because even saying the word friend for Jaemin felt wrong.

“Yeah, sure,” Swan and Hendery chuckled.

---

Throughout all this a few things were clear to you- people were comparing your work to your parents, without your name even attached. The other thing was that Jaemin hated his job, and having a Senior position would allow him to move to a position he actually cared about. The last thing was that you deeply cared for Jaemin- this was the part that was still strange to you.

A week had passed, and Jaemin was organizing the final parts of your project as he waited to get a text back from you. You had told him you were having a later meeting than usual and would need an extra hour before you could meet and finalize the elements of your project. 

The day prior, after you and Jaemin watched Pride and Prejudice (he swore it was good), you emailed him the political cartoon you made. He opened up the attachment, and went blank as he stared at it.

When you drew the cartoon, you absentmindedly drew characters you were comfortable with to help convey your message on the environment- specifically, the lead wolf character from Flight of the Wolves. This wasn’t what caught Jaemin off guard, though, it was your signature in the corner.

It seems you were so used to intertwining the characters with Patches, that you instinctually signed it off as such, not even realizing it when you sent it to Jaemin.

Jaemin leapt up from his office chair, snatching the Patches signature he had on his corkboard and bringing it up to his computer screen. He compared it to the scanned drawing of yours, the signatures naturally matching. No way. Jaemin felt crazy. He rushed out of his room, running over and barging into Sungchan’s room.

Sungchan was surprised by his roommates' boldness, shutting the book he was taking notes on and waiting for Jaemin to speak.

“Y/N, when she was younger, did she write a lot? Draw a lot?” his voice was panicked, and he rushed through his words.

“Oh yeah, duh. All the time.”

“Did she draw animals a lot by any chance?”

“Hmm,” Sungchan thought it over before he got up from his bed, digging around in his desk to take out a notebook from high school. Flipping through a few pages, he found the doodles you had left there for him before passing it to Jaemin who stared at the works in awe. “Hers and Hendery’s nickname for me was a baby deer,” he pointed at the numerous tiny deers before pointing at the anthromorphic wolf in the upper corner, “but this was her favorite thing to draw.”

“Holy shit,” Jaemin spoke under his breath. That was your main character- albeit, slightly more rudimentary than what he was now, but it was obvious. “Y/N is Patches.”

“It took you that long to figure it out?” Sungchan took the notebook back from Jaemin’s shaky hands, tucking it back away into his desk.

“Wait, you knew?”

“Oh yeah. It was obvious, but I’ve just never said anything. I figured if she was going by a pseudonym, it was for a reason,” Sungchan shrugged as he laid back in his bed to keep reading.

“I… I told her I thought it was Hendery,” Jaemin gulped. He was ashamed that he didn’t know, but didn’t know why he felt this way.

“Yikes, she was upset huh?” Sungchan returned to reading his book, only glancing up at his friend to give him a ‘you fucked up’ look. 

“I have to go talk to her,” Jaemin sloppily put on the first pair of shoes by the front door, grabbing his phone as he rushed down the stairs and into the streets headed to your place. He chastised himself as he ran through the rain, knowing he would catch a cold even if your place was only a few blocks away from his.

---

“I plan to reveal to the writer from GameLabs, and make my first in person appearance at the WizMedia conference,” you told Kun at the end of your meeting, earning a sharp look from him.

“I thought you were going to reveal at the conference,” Kun whined, flipping through his notes to verify your original discussion. While this was your original plan, you knew that for Jaemin, getting your identity was one thing, but if he managed to also get an interview from you confirming this, it would do wonders to have under his belt.

It was a stupid thing, but, so was falling for Jaemin.

“I changed my mind. I’ll have him run the interview by you beforehand, Kun,” you paused then, “and thank you for everything. I can’t wait to start on this next series.”

Kun was taken aback by your sudden note of appreciation, momentarily forgetting the corrections he was going to have to make. “It’s been great working with you so far, and I can’t wait to keep making more great works with you.”

After hanging up, you sat on your living room couch, listening to the rain pounding outside. Your roommates had left to work earlier, so all that was left was seeing Jaemin before class. There was a loud knock at your door, drawing your attention from your own thoughts as you got up to open it.

Your eyes widened to see Jaemin out of breath and drenched in the rain, clutching his chest.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry!” he shouted over the rain, catching you off guard.

“Jaemin oh my god come inside!” you ignored his apology, rushing him inside and shutting the door. “I’m grabbing you a towel.”

When you came back with a towel, Jaemin took to sitting on your kitchen floor, holding his knees to his chest as the rain dripping off of him pooled around his hunched figure. “Now why would you run in the rain when you have a car?” You were doing your best to dry his hair, passing the towel over in a frantic mess. He grabbed your wrists gently, and you looked down at his hooded eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice low. You huffed, passing the towel over his face to dry off the rain that sat on his cheeks, trying desperately to ignore how handsome he looked despite the mess.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” you decided to ask, since he seemingly wasn’t going to let go of whatever it was. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you until now,” his eyes were pleading, his hand moving up to make you let go of the towl and hold on to his hand. “I accused you of being a fangirl and didn’t even… consider… that it was you. You’re Patches,” he choked out, squeezing your hand tightly as if you’d let go. You blinked quickly, surprised that he figured it out before you told him.

“H-How?” you sputtered out.

“You signed your assignment as Patches, and everything else just… fell into place.”

You let go of your other hand to smack your forehead, realizing that you indeed impulsively signed it as your pseudonym. “I’m an idiot,” you groaned. “I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Why would you want to do that?” it was his turn to be surprised, dropping both of your hands onto his lap.

“I want you to get that job promotion. You hate it there, but a couple months in a senior position would help you easily get a job in Sports Artistry. I wanted you to do an interview with Patches,” your voice when soft, the two of you staring diligently at the other in an attempt to search for any other meaning behind the others’ eyes.

“I don’t want a job that requires me to potentially hurt someone I care about for a promotion,” Jaemin sighed, moving the towel with his free hand off his head. Maybe it was the way his hair fell on his face when it was half wet, maybe it was the pleading way he was looking at you, or maybe it was the feeling you got when he said that he cared about you, but whatever it was it set a feeling off inside you that you couldn’t control.

Jaemin surprisingly leaned forward first, and your lips met him halfway in a crash. You had been wondering how soft his lips would feel against yours, and they were better than you could have imagined. His hand held yours still, tighter than before. It was as if he was scared that you were going to slip away from him. 

“It was probably a dumb decision to run here in the rain, huh?” Jaemin chuckled, your foreheads leaning against each other. He moved his hand to caress your cheek, and stare into your eyes, watching as they seemed to gleam looking back at him.

“It was a great, stupid decision,” you affirmed, kissing the tip of his nose before going to meet his lips again. A wonderfully dumb decision, and the first of many you two would make for each other.

AN: Hi guys! I hoped you all enjoyed this short story :) It was really fun writing this ~normal~ fic lol. Next work I have on deck is a weird sci-fi-ish Sungchan leading fic that I'm still in the midst of working on. I hope you'll stick around to read it! In the mean time, here is another completed work of mine, and feel free to drop an ask anytime! Thank you for reading <3 -Nat

#nct fanfic #jaemin fic #jaemin fluff #jaemin x reader #jaemin imagines #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct college au

[ravxens]

Blah blah blah, filling up this bit again. I should stop being lazy and make like a pinterest board or something. Anyways, here’s my final child. He’s exactly what this gif suggests he is.

BASIC INFORMATION

NAME: Liam O’Connor

NICKNAMES: None

BIRTHDAY: November 16th

AGE: 21

HOMETOWN: Dublin, Ireland

BIRTHPLACE: Dublin, Ireland

RELIGION: Catholic 

ETHNICITY: Irish 

NATIONALITY: Irish

EDUCATION/MAJOR: Sociology and Psychology (minor)

JOB/EXTRACURRICULARS: N/A

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

SOCIAL CLASS: Upper-Middle

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

HEIGHT: 6′2

EYES: Green

HAIR: Brown

BUILD: Slender

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: N/A

NOTABLE FEATURES: Eyes, hair

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: N/A

ALLERGIES: None, but he lies about being allergic to ketchup because people judge him if he just says he doesn’t like it. When asked how he’s not allergic to other tomato-based sauces (man eats his weight in pizza), his response is usually “Ketchup has a particular chemical compound that just makes me arse swell up and me eyes pop out, honestly, it’s like bein’ fucked by Freddie Kruger, don’t wish it on me worst enemy.”

PERSONALITY & BEHAVIOR

HOBBIES: Painting, photography, smoking weed 24/7 (he will do it in his dorms too sorry), playing video-games, playing the piano, skateboarding, pretending to play sports and then making his team lose. He’s an avid reader which most find surprising because he comes off as a complete moron. Listening to podcasts while cooking. Cooking (not great at it but he has munchies a lot).

LIKES: Talking shit all day long, hanging around new people and making them laugh, leaving his assignments until last minute and then panicking to get it done and then getting it done and saying ‘it would have been an A if I had more time’

DISLIKES: Judgmental assholes, people who don’t understand sarcasm, rules upon rules upon rules, his father, particularly hot weather, people who get all touchy-feely when they’re drunk

QUIRKS: Picking on scabs

POSITIVE TRAITS: Extroverted, receptive/accepting, humorous 

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Unable to be serious ever, insensitive, stubborn

SHARE 5 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER:

Liam was born and raised in Dublin. He is an only child to a very conservative mother who at some point consulted a priest on getting the boy an exorcism. The priest denied her request saying her son was likely just dropped on his head as a child and will eventually ‘grow out’ of his personality. 

His mother comes from a rather wealthy family and is a business woman, taking over the family business in something Liam never cared to inquire more about. He just knows they got money, so he doesn’t give a shit to make some on his own. His mom also eventually learnt to let him do his own thing and just gave him a debit card and called it a day. 

Growing up Liam always sought out attention from strangers and just random people, places and experiences. He was almost never home, hating to be around his mom and her shitty boyfriends who all wanted to teach him ‘structure’ and whatever else. His social circle was always big but he never really had any ‘close knit’ friends or nothing like that. It was always more about ‘who’s around today?’ and go from there. This is why he has many interests in general.

Essex was a random choice. He saw it online, his mom was pushing to have him go to college, he applied for the sociology course because it seemed fine and easy to get into. His mom is paying for the whole experience and was all too happy he chose to go to the other side of the world. 

Actually really loves the idea of American University experience. The drinking, the whoring, the whole thing. Seems cool, totally his vibe. The weed is good too. 

WHERE DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIVE (please pick one):

Dorms

#tslocg:intro

[redpiperfox]

It is a good idea, I think, to organize and verbalize one's thoughts when words and organization are suddenly available. To one. That one being me.

I admitted to myself a couple nights ago that ᴵ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵇᵉ ᵇ��ʳⁿᵗ ᵒᵘᵗ and after a proper breakdown, I find myself in a multitude of clear and rational thoughts of processing that had escaped me for so many weeks.

So basically, I present:

Ranting, but Maturely and Diplomatically, and using two songs to Convey Emotional Processing, because I am a Nerd and a Philosopher and have No Business being in a Science Field as my major

An Essay by Red

I am not a person taken by regret.

It doesn't fit in my worldview, my faith, or my personality. Granted, I might be a little extreme about it, but I genuinely find no good reason to look back on things with anything but gratitude and respect.

As a Christian, this stems from the simple idea that God is good, God does good, and the tapestry looks ugly on this side, but hey, He sent Joseph to slavery, Job through extreme loss and depression, and Jesus to the cross, and look at the beautiful stories He weaved from that. Who is the clay to shake it's fist at the potter, y'know?

But it is very, /very/ hard not to look at things and be regretful these days.

In summary, I am three out of four years into a program that looked very shiny and new when I applied. Currently, past me is looking very naive, and should have kept her nose to the ground and did what everyone else did and joined an established program.

...But I won't say that to past me, and I won't let current me dwell on it.

Allow me, if you will, to bring you through a very difficult path with two songs.

I did not vibe with this song when I first heard it. Again, regret? Resentment? Doesn't sit well with me. But today...

I do a funny thing where I rewrite romances into metaphors. I'm able to breathe a lot of TSwift easily this way-- she's a brilliant lyricist who writes one thing and paints it with such emotion that it becomes relatable no matter how outrageously unique the situation or story is.

My story is grief over my major. This beautiful new chapter of my life, which cost a little extra to get into, a little extra hope that the program would take off, and had a little bit of forbidden intrigue to hook me in.

Would've, could've, should've played it safe, but she danced with the devil to play with destiny and chance.

Where I find myself stuck in a time loop, is in the mournful heartsong between the bridge and the last chorus.

This year has already pulled me away from fellowship in the Church, from staying and ministering to people, from serving, from being emotionally available to people who I know need me, and yes, I would've stayed on my knees, in a solid and secure place if I hadn't made this gamble and found every hour suddenly something precious that no longer belongs to me. It belongs to my books, my lessons, these modules, to studying more, harder, faster.

Nineteen tipped from romantics to harsh reality.

Girlhood has officially been ripped from my fingers, replaced by the stress of adulthood. Give it back, it was mine.

I can't sleep well, I'm tired during the day-- the list goes on. A good description of my feelings? Sit with an empty head and let Taylor's panicked voice in the chorus and bridge and the breathlessness towards the end wash over you. It's like defending the unworthy, tripping over my words and falling short, because I really had no idea what was in store for me.

Honest truth? Being busy was fun the first two years. Being in uniform is bedazzling. Being in the workforce is amazing.

But "now that I'm old, I'm scared of ghosts." And let me tell you-- I fear nothing. Past and present. Another personality and worldview thing, I suppose. But this year?

Why hello there spontaneous anxiety, where did you come from? Oh, lack of sleep and overwhelming workload let you in?

How rude, they didn't ask me first.

Perhaps it was when the professors said we needed to learn to cope differently than most, or implied burn out would happen sooner than we expected, but I got lost somewhere in the punchline.

What do you mean this feeling of my soul slipping through my fingers doesn't end? I thought school was the hard part?

Memories of college life are going to haunt me. I have nothing but tears to bring out of this.

Taylor's wailing hit something deep in me today, and twisted it till I found out I was bleeding.

...but then?

For my soul, I sat in on Bible Study (my dad teaches and it's in our home), red eyed and exhausted, and we were in the passage of one woman who falls at the feet of Jesus and weeps, annointing his feet with expensive oil.

It reminded me of another song.

(God bless this man)

Another amazing lyricist, but I'm going to start with the music.

The song begins lamenting, like a funeral dirge, low and sorrowful. It's /crawling/ with grief, and drags us where we're told to be, with little hope or sight or joy about it.

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." But it's before we know what we're getting. "Look upon the bronze serpant" but we don't know we'll be saved.

I woke up Wednesday morning to my alarm, real early, with a full day ahead of me. I love Wednesdays, but not this Wednesday. I was pretty sure I was going to pass out at the most and maybe fall asleep at the wheel at the least.

"Lord, strength. Just give me strength."

Simple line, little prayer in my head, because the only thing I knew to do in weariness was to pray. I was so tired.

He sent a possum to scurry across the road to wake me in the morning, and a truck to nearly kill me in the afternoon. In between? A lady who was very confused and a little boy who couldn't keep still. Oh, and a music lesson where my fingers remembered more than my mind. And a review session where I was given plenty of chocolate to keep me awake.

I lived to tell the tale, so I think He gave me what I needed...? XP

The song builds to another bridge that I find myself caught in: the key shifts, the lights turn on, and the singer lifts his eyes and realizes--

Coming to the feet of Jesus isn't /just/ to lay your burdens down. It isn't /just/ to pray for deliverance and ask in supplication. It isn't /just/ to mourn.

One might come to do that, but once I am on my knees, and my burdens are lifted, my eyes are able to look up, and /see/.

I've seen the darkness and muck and corruption, and when I look up, how much brighter! How much fuller! How much more overwhelming in beauty!

Lament turns to worship, there at the feet of Jesus.

Who looks back on that tapestry, and smiles at whatever it's being made to, while I walk through every stitch as faithfully as I can.

Hallelujah, there's no place for regret here.

Hallelujah, there's no room for remorse.

Hallelujah, /look at how beautiful/.

I'll stop there to keep from preaching.

It's by no means a solution.

Am I still exhausted? Yes.

Has this made my workload go away? No.

Do I feel a little less burnt out? ...ᴹᵃʸᵇᵉ

But I sat today, after three or more weeks of a long process of burn out, that certainly doesn't magically evaporate today, I found my tears marking a tipping point.

My words, which had been held captive under some spell of anxiety, had suddenly come loose. Emotional stagnation finally burst into a thousand little fires which I can /feel/ and be burned by. The skin is sensitive and raw, but that means its human.

And I can sink back into what it feels like to be me.

I don't regret being here. I can only look down at my feet...

...and make the next right step. Knowing it's already laid out for me.

#ignore red #red's personal sitcom #theological #music analysis #personal #Youtube

[satansappendix]

So frustrated

I have been up 18 fucking hours on like five hours of sleep (,cause I got deep rooted issues with not feeling productive in a day and not enjoying the day enough) but me coming home from work fucking heaven forbid I'm tired it's not like I went to work at 7am and didn't get out till fucking 3pm and that's a long time and work has been extra stressful cause the cash machine is down and it's been my job to fucking deal with it all week and I'm tired, so when I get home all I want to do is lay down for a while and chill maybe even nap but Julia gives me shit about it saying that I'm not being helpful and everyone is tired cool I don't care I don't have to beg for rest no one should have to I want to sleep and just be done with it for a while she says all of this whole not saying anything to my brother who has no job currently and is just upstairs in his room doing whatever the fuck he wants, why is it my job when Ivr done so many things today already, I still literally helped more than Micheal who did nothing all day like fuck off I just want to rest and be chill for a while I only have a limited amount of time on this planet let me fucking enjoy them get on Micheal's case about not doing shit instead maybe??? And maybe don't be like are you sure you're autistic when I literally can't tell if you are mad at me for leaving and ice scream shop when you said to do it Julia?;l like we got there And they had their close sign up technically they took it down when we pulled dinn but like I feel bad doing that to people okay also if you ask me to make a decision and it is in line with you jntione reaction don't get mad at me??? What the fuck did I do Julia? If you didn't want me to make the decision then you do it if you wanted a specific outcome Jesus fuck you and when I'm offering something I mean it I will do it that's why I'm offering it if I didn't want to or like didn't feel somewhat okay doing it I wouldn't offer it wtf but Micheal is fine, sure she makes off hand comments about him always being in his room when he's not there but never to his face fuck you also I'm literally disabled so yeah I get tired easily and need more rest than others and that's not. Bad caus eif I don't rest and enjoy life I will literally die like for real like I spent all morning nauseous out of my mind cause fuck my gallbladder which is also something mom says I need to get checked out then oh I'll help you make an appointment then it never happens then she will just straight up fully apply to jobs for my little shit brother yeah cool thanks I don't know if she thinks I should be capable of doing but I don't think you understand because of my disability I will literally just suffer forever before blocking up the phone to make a doctor's appointment and I have told her I need help doing it but I always seem to get forgotten I will literally die before I am able to call a doctor okay like I would rather in my panicked Brian feel constant nausea, bowel issues, and lack of appetite than pick up the phone for a five minute call this is cause Im disabled in this very specific way and j know it's not normal fuck that's why I need help and I asked for it but I'm still not getting any idk I'm having a bit of a time with life but right now I need to sleep in literally cross eyes from tired ness lol my lazy eye is funny

#soap spoilers

[whythewords]

Days 281 - 291: It's a love love/hate, love

Hello. Let me start this post with the customary mention of the time between posts. 10 days? Wow! The gap is closing. BUT WHY would that be the case?

Well, when last we left our hero he was about to venture out on his first date with someone aside from his former partner in almost 10 years. And...it went well. We had dinner, and we chatted and walked around town for a bit. She was easy to talk to, and funny and very cute.

But here's the fun part folks: that little voice in my head won't let me have nice things. Funny enough, I saw my therapist for the first time in months the very week I was going on this date, just days before. We excavated my worries for the future both distant and near, including this date and meeting new people in general. We were contending with the negative self-talk, the doom and gloom, assuming the worst...all things that I'm a reluctant expert in. So I took what I used in therapy and tried to apply it. I hyped myself up for the date, and things went well, but my brain would be up to it's old tricks again before the night was through. I felt the conversation beginning to lull. I panicked. "You're not keeping her interest. Say something! Think you idiot!" As I walked her to her car these intrusive thoughts persisted and I figured I had blown it. "Well folks, time to call it. It was fun while it lasted." But before departing she hit me with a "I would love to see you again." I agreed. Of COURSE I agreed. She's kind and smart and attractive and I want to follow this where it goes.

So crisis averted right, problems over?

Uh, remember what I said in the last post about getting too invested? I'm trying man, god fucking help me I'm trying to temper my expectations. We chatted more over the next few days after the date, but it seemed like we were chatting a bit less so naturally I panicked again. "Maybe she wouldn't actually love to see me again. Maybe she was just being nice. She's not really initiating these conversations either. Maybe I hang back for a bit and see if she messages me. Shit, it's almost the end of the day and nothing. I knew this was too good to be true. Should I say something? What do I do? Oh wait, here she is."

Ugh. I don't want to play these games. Is this what it was always like? Or is this because there was no previous rapport? Is the online dating thing fucking me up? What the fuck is dating even suppose to look like in our mid-30s? Maybe this is it. And maybe, JUST maybe (or certainly) I'm getting WAY too fucking deep with this. Here I was thinking before that this would be the time to explore the casual dating thing but I have, at the very least, learned something about myself in this process and that is that I COMMIT and I COMMIT HARD. I AM looking for THAT someone and not just A someone. So I guess I have to lean into that now and follow the all-important and oft-repeated advice for this situation and just be my fucking self.

I am the guy who likes to check in and say hello every once in a while. Maybe I stop worrying if that comes across as too needy. Maybe I stop assuming that this person will think a guy who is genuinely interested in her messaging her once a day to ask how she's doing is off-putting. Maybe remember that she's a single mom with two jobs and she might pretty fucking busy throughout the day. "Just be me and see where it goes" should be the only advice I'm following right now but, as predicted, I am a victim of my own brain.

We've already discussed our second date, just need to iron out some details. I am hoping we're over that initial nervous energy that comes with a first date and that the second one goes even better. And like I repeated incessantly in the last post, all I can really do is hope for the best and try to be ready in case things go south. It's all an experience right?

Oh lord.

What else? I don't know. Fucking mid-terms started. I crushed the first one today...but a couple of the other ones this week have me a little scared. I'll study my ass off with the best motivation there is: do well, and this could and should be the LAST fucking time you ever need to do stuff like this. Days away from the mid-way point. Gonna keep on trying to get ahead of the 8-ball so I only have to do any actual working/reading on the first couple of days of my reading week, and then I can just kick my feet up for the rest of it.

Stick to plan Joe. In ALL aspects of life, just stick to the god-damned plan.

#life of joe #not so daily journal #dating

[blu-joons]

When He Notices That You’ve Injured Yourself ~ Seventeen Reaction

S.Coups:

A loud yell came from Seungcheol, pointing his hand to the back of your arm where he noticed a large bruise that had suddenly appeared on your body.

“What happened to you whilst I was at work?” Seungcheol asked, carefully pulling you towards him so that he could inspect the marking and check it over.

Your eyes looked behind your back to see what had captured his attention. “I wish I could give you an answer, but I had no idea I had a bruise there.”

“No idea?” Seungcheol asked in surprise, brushing his finger over it, only for you not to react. “What could you have done to even cause a bruise on your arm like this?”

“I really have no idea, unless I bashed it in my sleep or something.”

A soft sigh came from him, unable to hide his frustration that he didn’t have the answers. “You’ve really got to take better care of yourself Y/N.”

Your head nodded, smiling across at him. “If I knew what had caused the bruise I could try and do a better job of taking care of myself too.”

“Are you sure you can’t remember?” He asked once again, only for your head to shake. “I want to keep an eye on it, make sure it heals well.”

“Don’t worry, now we know it’s there, we’ll keep an eye out.”

Jeonghan:

As soon as you felt Jeonghan’s hand stop running through the strands of your hair, you looked up to him in confusion as to what was going on.

“Since when did you have a cut on your forehead?” He questioned, inspecting it closely, “I swear that wasn’t there yesterday, was it?”

Your head shook back at him, “I did bang my head earlier, but I just presumed that I was fine because nothing hurt. Is it a bad cut? Does it need treating?”

“It’s only little,” he quickly assured you, pressing a kiss over it. “But how many times have I told you to be careful, sometimes you seem to forget just how clumsy you really are.”

“It was an accident, I just misjudged how tall the shelf was.”

His eyes rolled, moving his hand back through your hair. “I might have to start wrapping you in bubble wrap whilst I’m at work to stop you from hurting yourself.”

A soft giggle escaped from you, “I’m not that bad, anyway this small cut is far from the worst of injuries that I’ve caused myself whilst you’ve been at work.”

“That’s a given,” Jeonghan sniggered, “I still remember coming home to see you collapsed in the shower because you couldn’t stand on one leg.”

“I thought we agreed that was an incident that we didn’t speak of?”

Joshua:

You stopped walking as soon as you heard Joshua call out your name, spinning around on your heels to see what it was that he wanted from you.

“Why is there blood on the back of your shirt?” He questioned, beckoning you back to him so that he could take a closer look. “Is it yours?”

Your shoulders shrugged back at him, unsure of the answer. “I’m guessing that it must be, but I don’t remember hurting myself or bleeding either?”

“Let me take a look,” he spoke, lifting your shirt up slowly, hissing underneath his breath. “You’ve got quite the cut along your spine, what the heck have you been doing?”

“I don’t know, I can’t remember doing anything to make myself bleed.”

His head shook as he lowered your top back down, “try and think, you don’t get a mark like that from doing nothing. It’s like you’ve been in a fight or something.”

As you thought back, a memory popped into your head. “Well, I did fall into the coffee machine at work today, but surely that can’t cause a cut like that.”

“You’re so clumsy,” Joshua laughed, throwing himself back on the sofa, “did no one at work say anything to you with blood on your shirt either?”

“No! Damn, I really do work with a bunch of snakes at that office.”

Jun:

His eyebrows furrowed as he noticed what was a small cut on your arm from earlier in the day turn a darker shade of red, as it began to scab over too.

“That’s not looking good,” Junhui sighed, pulling you closer so that he could take a closer look, “does it hurt if I touch it or do anything?”

Your eyes looked to him in confusion as his hand ran along the length of your arm. “What’s supposed to hurt if you touch it? My arm?”

“The cut,” Junhui stated as if it were obvious, “don’t act like it’s nothing and shrug it off, it’s a pretty sore cut that you’ve got going on there Y/N, it can’t be pain free.”

“Junhui, I really have no idea what you’re going on about.”

His hand grabbed your arm and turned it so that you could finally get a look at the cut. “Are you really telling me that you had no idea that you had this?”

Your head nodded, although he still didn’t quite believe you. “It’s not sore at all, even if it does look nasty. You could probably hit it and I wouldn’t even feel a thing.”

“How?” He chuckled, dropping your arm back down to your side, “what sort of alien are you to not feel a single bit of pain from a cut like that?”

“I’m very much a human, just with a higher pain tolerance than most.”

Hoshi:

Soonyoung soon grabbed onto you as your top rose up, noticing a large bruise on your hip, turning you around in his arm so that he could take a better look.

“Is that from when I bumped into you in the kitchen earlier?” He instantly asked you, hopeful that something else had caused the bruising.

Your eyes glanced down at it, shaking your head as you noticed his panicked expression. “It was probably me; I did bump into the table leg earlier too.”

“But what if I was the one that caused it?” He whispered, brushing the pad of his thumb over it, only for you not to respond. “Does it not hurt? It looks like a bad one.”

“I didn’t even realise that I had a bruise there until you saw.”

His head nodded, feeling a little bit better about things. “Even if it wasn’t caused by me, I want you to know how sorry I am for bumping into you earlier like that.”

Your hand rested over his, “accidents happen all the time, especially when two people are trying to cook in a kitchen. I’ll survive, the bruise will go in a few days.”

“I’ll make sure that I look after you until then,” Soonyoung vowed, “it’s the least I can do if I was potentially the one who caused it.”

“I’m sure you didn’t, but I won’t complain about being looked after.”

Wonwoo:

A pair of hands quickly caught you as you tried to stand up from the sofa only to feel your body tumble back down, being eased into Wonwoo’s lap.

“Steady,” he frowned, noticing the surprise on your face too. “What happened there? Are you hurt at all and hiding it from me again?”

Your head shook as Wonwoo moved you to beside him so that he could take a look. “I’m not sure, maybe I lost my balance or something, I’m not too sure.”

“Balance is definitely the issue,” he sighed as he looked at your feet, “remember that tiny bump you had after your fall yesterday? It’s not so tiny anymore I’m afraid.”

“But how can a swollen bruise cause me to fall over like that?”

Wonwoo smiled sympathetically in your direction, “your ankle is pretty weak right now, that’s probably why, it needs a bit of time to heal, properly at least.”

You soon picked up on what Wonwoo was implying. “I’m not going to hospital, not for this. The last thing I need is crutches or anything like that to help me.”

“You need to get it checked over,” he tried to reason, “if it’s swollen like this then there could be something more serious going on. Please?”

“Fine, as long as you promise that you won’t leave my side at all.”

Woozi:

His hand grabbed onto your leg as soon as Jihoon thought he saw something, turning it over to see a cut just at the bottom of your knee as he thought.

“When did you do this?” He asked, turning your leg once again so that you could take a look. “This looks like it’s causing a bit of pain.”

Your head shook in response leaving Jihoon slightly surprised. “I had no idea that I’d even hurt myself until you pointed it out, it’s not been sore in the slightest.”

“Are you mad?” He chuckled, grabbing a tissue off of his desk to wipe it over, “you must not be human to not even feel that you’ve cut your leg like this Y/N.”

“I’m being serious, it’s not hurt at all, even on the walk over here.”

His eyes looked to you in complete surprise, “it looks pretty deep too, maybe we should keep an eye on this for a little while just in case it’s something serious.”

You took a closer look for yourself, noticing just how deep of a cut it was. “I’m sure it’s not that bad, it can’t be too serious if I haven’t even been able to feel it.”

“That’s what worries me,” Jihoon admitted, “don’t go home just yet, stay here so I can make sure that it starts healing properly first.”

“I’ll stay here for a little while, just to be sure and ease your mind.”

DK:

As soon as your eyes fell on the cheeky smile on Seokmin’s face, you knew you were in trouble as he knelt down to take a look at the cut on your leg.

“Move the tissue away,” he instructed, taking another look at the cut on your leg before taking the plaster out of his pocket to apply.

You watched closely, reaching out to stop him though when you realised what he had picked up. “I’m a grown adult Seokmin, I’m not wearing a frog plaster on my leg.”

“It’s the only one I could find in the dorm,” he argued, moving your hand away, “it’s this or walking around the streets with blood trickling down your leg like an idiot.”

“I think I’d rather just deal with the blood to be honest with you.”

His head shook, peeling off the wrapper of the plaster. “Don’t be stupid, you’ll barely be able to see the plaster through your tights anyway, it’s no big deal really.”

Your eyes widened at his words, “you might enjoy making a fool of yourself, but some of us have too much pride to wear a stupid frog plaster in public.”

“It could be worse,” Seokmin tried to comfort, “if the cut was big enough there’s a farmyard bandage that we have from years ago you could have had.”

“And suddenly the frog plaster doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.”

Mingyu:

A loud squeal came from you as you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and lift you into the air, carrying you across the field and over to a bench.

“Are you alright?” Mingyu asked as he helped you sit down, “I noticed that your ankle was looking a bit swollen when you ran just then.”

You barely had time to comprehend what was going on before Mingyu was checking you over. “My ankle is fine, or at least I think it is. How can you tell it’s swollen anyway?”

“I’ve hurt my ankles enough times,” he commented, focused on taking off your trainer and your sock. “It definitely looks as if you’ve done a little bit of damage there.”

“It doesn’t even hurt, so how can you be so sure about that?”

Mingyu’s eyes looked up to you, “just trust me on this one, it might not hurt now, but when we get home later tonight that ankle will be giving you a lot of bother.”

Your head nodded as your body sunk down on the bench, “this is the last thing I need, getting injured during a stupid game of catch is just embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry,” he quickly assured you, “I know exactly what to do when ankles get injured, I promise you won’t feel much pain with me looking after you.”

“Aren’t you just the perfect knight in shining armour for me?”

The8:

You watched on as Minghao leant down and pulled at the top of your sock, noticing a trickle of dry blood that had run down onto the material.

“Did you hurt yourself?” He questioned, confused when your shoulders shrugged back at him. “How do you not know if you’ve hurt yourself?”

Before you had the time to answer, he pulled your sock back and noticed a large scratch along your leg. “That must have been from when I was on my bike earlier.”

“How did you not notice a cut this big? Or even the blood?” Minghao questioned, struggling to understand what had happened. “Does it not even hurt you?”

“Not really, I just thought it would be a soft scratch, no blood.”

His head shook as he took your sock off, throwing it to the floor. “The blood probably won’t come out of that now seeing as it’s a white sock too.”

You nodded back at him, taking a better look at the cut that you had. “I don’t care about my socks, but I am a little bit worried about just how bad this cut looks.”

“Don’t worry,” Minghao quickly comforted, “I’ll go and get the first aid kit and I’ll make sure that this cut gets cleaned up properly now that it’s noticed.”

“It’s a good job you’re on the ball and paying attention.”

Seungkwan:

He couldn’t hide the laughter that came from him as he ran his hand over the top of your head, feeling a large lump right at the very top.

“It’s like a mountain on the top of your head,” he instantly teased, “there’s no way that you could have not realised that thing growing.”

Your head shook, flinching away from Seungkwan’s hand, “funnily enough I don’t touch the top of my head too often to notice when it starts swelling.”

“What were you doing with your head in a cupboard anyway,” he continued to laugh, struggling to believe what had happened. “You do some weird stuff.”

“I was trying to find rice to cook for your dinner, actually.”

As he noticed the pain you were in, Seungkwan’s laughter began to stop. “You’re not going to need me to call an ambulance for you or anything like that?”

Your hand reached across to hit against his chest, “I’ve hurt myself Seungkwan, for once you could try and not see the funny side and help me out.”

“You’re right,” he frowned, resting his hand against your waist, “shall I order us some take out? We’ve probably got no rice for dinner now, right?”

“I meant help me out, not think about your hungry stomach.”

Vernon:

The gasp that came from Vernon instantly caught your attention, looking back you noticed his eyes firmly watching the back of your leg.

“What happened?” He asked, pointing to the spot that he was focused on, “that’s turning a pretty nasty shade of purple there Y/N.”

You tried to turn back around and take a look at what was on your leg for yourself. “Oh,” you chuckled when you noticed a bruise forming.

“You didn’t know?” Vernon asked in a slight state of disbelief, “that looks like it’s probably causing you some pain, and you didn’t notice that it was there?”

“I had no idea it was there; it doesn’t hurt at all though.”

A surprised chuckle came from Vernon, “so you can notice tiny things about me, but not when you’ve managed to bruise your leg as big as that is?”

“That’s because I care about you a lot,” you sweetly responded, “as for my own body, it’s already been battered and bruised plenty of times before.”

Vernon’s head shook back in your direction. “It’s a good job I care enough to notice you in that case, you need to make sure that you keep a bit of an eye on that thing.”

“That’s where you come in, always taking the best care of me.”

Dino:

You couldn’t hold back the hiss that came from you as Chan’s hand ran along your arm, clutching at it tightly as he moved away.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, watching closely as you moved your hand to study where the pain had come from. “Are you hurt?”

Your head slowly nodded as you remembered banging your arm earlier in the day, “I think it’s just the beginnings of a bruise that you caught.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, instantly feeling guilty, “do you want me to get you some ice or something to try and take away some of the pain.”

“No, it’s alright, I think it was the shock more than anything else.”

Chan’s head nodded back at you, “one day you’ll learn to stop being so clumsy and watch where you’re going.”

Your eyes rolled in response to him, “I didn’t think I’d hurt myself because my arm didn’t hurt, maybe I should have given it sometime after all.”

“As long as you’re alright?” Chan sighed, taking a hold of your hand much more carefully this time around, “are you sure that you don’t need anything for it?”

“It’s nothing, except for probably a nasty bruise in the morning.”

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Masterlist

#seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen reaction #seventeen scenario #s.coups imagine #jeonghan imagine #joshua imagine #jun imagine #hoshi imagine #wonwoo imagine #woozi imagine #dk imagine #mingyu imagine #the8 imagine #seungkwan imagine #vernon imagine #dino imagine #s.coups #jeonghan #joshua #jun #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #dk #mingyu #the8 #seungkwan #vernon #dino