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#never rlly cared 2 much ab them
nyaskitten · 1 year
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It's an absolute crime, nay, a SIN that no one draws neither Kai NOR Nya with curly hair... how dare you let the ONE GOOD THING about Maya go to waste?
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mrs-kmikaelson · 8 months
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Our Song and Dance²
Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: not as long as before but still long, murder, violence, death, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, psychological "games," unrequited love, complicated relationships, suicidal tendencies (technically), complex mental health issues, and i make up small details ab smaller characters and some names (pls lmk if i missed anything) Words: 9.2K
Masterlist | Part 3
a/n: i just want to thank you all so much for the support! i was definitely insecure about this, but seeing all the love rlly makes it so worth it! this one is completely catching fire, then the next one is all mockingjay. hope u enjoy! also finnick and y/n's song is def american pie.
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“Let The 75th Hunger Games begin. May the odds be ever in your favour.”
Ten seconds later, a cannon fired and you were immediately jumping off the pedestal into the water. Once upon a time, you were a swimmer. This was your edge. You were good in water, as was Finnick, so your worry for him eased. 
You swam until you reached rock, climbing on to it and running along the path like your life depended on it because it did. Once you were at the Cornucopia, you ran for your sword, grabbing it and then swiftly pivoting to stab the person coming up from behind you like it was instinct—and it was.
Your mind didn’t have to fully be there; your body knew what it was doing. You’ve danced this dance already, and you’ve perfected it. You stabbed another man from behind, letting him fall to the ground when you pulled your sword away. You grabbed throwing knives, running to find Finnick, and you caught him at just the right moment.
Katniss had just drawn her arrow when you came up from behind her, bringing your sword up against her neck. Alliance or not, you’d slit her throat if she posed a threat.
“Careful, Everdeen,” you warned, making her tense.
At that moment, Finnick held up his forearm, flashing his bracelet. He smirked, completely unbothered, and taunted, “Good thing we’re allies, right?”
Her breath was shaky but her voice was still menacing. “Where did you get that?”
“Where do you think?” You retorted, still holding the blade close to her skin.
You watched as the amusement on Finnick’s face disappeared, his gaze being directed away from you. “Behind you.”
You quickly moved your sword away from her neck without cutting her, spinning and bringing it down on another guy’s neck instead. You turned back to a gasping Katniss, ignoring her state that was much like the one you were just in. “Don’t trust 1 and 2.”
Cannons fired as Finnick walked around you. “I’ll take this side. You go hold them off,” he told her.
You nodded. “I’ll find Peeta.” You didn’t walk far before you spotted him, shouting, “He’s over here!” All three of you ran over, finding him in the water against a pedestal, fighting off a tribute.
Finnick jumped into the water, swimming over while Katniss drew her arrow, seemingly waiting to get a good shot, but then both boys were submerged underwater. She brought her arrow down, breathing heavily as a cannon fired.
You waited in anticipation, a body floating up to the surface. For a second, you thought the kid died, but then he emerged out of the water, panting, and you both let out a breath.
The look on her face as she thought Peeta died was more convincing than any other performance you watched them put on, more convincing than the kisses, and the engagement, and the sweet interviews. Whatever was going on between them, you knew now that it wasn’t all fake.
Seems that you had more in common with the Girl on Fire than you thought.
You glanced over at the island, seeing the sets of Careers standing together, forming an alliance as they usually did. Katniss noticed this, too, so as soon Peeta and Finnick were out of the water, you all went running in to the jungle.
This was a Quarter Quell. There was more to it than just changing up the reaping; the entire arena was special. The Gamemakers were sick. You knew that you were in for a hell of a ride.
Right now, you just had to keep running. You could worry about food and water when the time came, and you’d find Johanna eventually. She was smart; you knew she wouldn’t be one of the first to die.
You ran and ran until Finnick called for you all to stop, crouching down to make a game plan. It turned out that you were gonna need water a lot sooner than you thought with how hot it was. At least freezing to death wasn’t something you had to worry about.
Katniss stared at you and Finnick quite obviously. You weren’t sure if she was trying to be discreet or not; you weren’t sure if she knew how to be discreet at all. The firing of the cannon made her finally look away.
Even though you were just running for your lives, a smirk still made its way onto Finnick’s face. “Well, I guess we’re not holding hands anymore,” he chuckled. You snorted, but Katniss wasn’t as amused.
“You think that’s funny?” 
You narrowed your eyes, answering before Finnick could. “I don’t know what you think this is, Everdeen, but in case you failed to notice, it’s kill or be killed out here.” You pointed to your ear. “Every time that cannon goes off, it’s music to my ears. We don’t care about any of them.”
Her jaw clenched. “Good to hear,” she quipped, pulling a machete out of its sheath on her back. You scoffed at her pathetic attempt to threaten you.
“Look, you wanna face the Career Pack alone? Be my guest. It’s your funeral,” you shot. “Besides, what would Haymitch say?”
“Haymitch isn’t here.” She stared straight into your eyes and you stared right back at her, unblinking. In your peripheral, you saw Peeta glancing between you.
“Let’s keep moving,” he interrupted, standing up, but you didn’t look away from Katniss until she stood up first.
Once you were up and walking, Finnick put his hand on the small of your back, probably to calm you down. For some reason, he insisted on working with them, so you’d just have to stifle your urge to argue with her.
Eventually, though, you knew you would be doing a lot more than arguing. If Katniss and you were as alike as you thought, then you knew that she’d stab you in the back for Peeta, the same way you would for Finnick.
The actual tributes in the arena weren’t always what you had to worry about. You were reminded of this when Peeta hit the wrong branches and went flying backward, sending you all with him.
A wall where he hit was revealed, like a glitch, before it was replaced again with the glamour of the jungle. A force field, you realized. Then your attention was drawn back to Peeta by Katniss’ cry of his name.
You shuffled over to them as Katniss panicked. “He’s not breathing. He’s not breathing.” Finnick rushed over, pushing her out of the way.
She instantly reached for her bow, going to grab an arrow, but you shoved her arm. “What the hell is wrong with you? He’s saving his life,” you snapped. Her hand fell, realizing you were right as she watched Finnick give him CPR.
She looked like she took a moment to collect herself and then she crawled over. “Peeta? Peeta?” She cried. Finnick grunted, switching between compressions and mouth-to-mouth, continuously checking for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. “Please wake up. No,” she sobbed, “please wake up.”
For the first time since The Games began, you really did feel bad for her. If you were in her place, you didn’t know what you would do.
Just as you thought Peeta was dead, he gasped back to life. Finnick moved back, letting them have their moment.
“Be careful, there’s a force field up there,” he breathed.
She tearily chuckled, leaning in to kiss him. You and Finnick shared a look. Katniss was kidding herself if she didn’t think she loved him. You tuned the rest of their conversation out. Peeta could’ve died, just like that, and Katniss would’ve probably fallen apart.
You knew that if Finnick died, you died, too. You couldn’t let that happen. You had to protect him.
Little did you know, he was thinking the exact same thoughts about you.
Once Peeta could stand, you were all back on your feet, looking for freshwater while simultaneously trying to spot where the force field started and ended. After Katniss did a little experiment with an arrow, you figured out that the arena was a dome. You just so happened to be at the edge.
Didn’t matter, though, because there wasn’t a sign of freshwater anywhere. Since you couldn’t satisfy your need for water, you’d just have to compensate with your need for sleep.
“It’s getting dark soon. We’ll be safe with our backs protected. We should set up camp,” Finnick suggested. “Take turns sleeping. I can take first watch.”
Katniss gave a little scoff like he was saying was absurd. “Not a chance.”
You stepped forward, so fed up and desperately wanting to give her a reality check, but Finnick held a hand up, signalling for you to stop. The only reason you did was because you saw the look on his face. As much as you wanted to tear Katniss a new one, you’d much rather watch him do it.
He stood up, sticking the end of his trident into the ground. He was calm, but annoyance laced his voice. “Honey, that thing I did back there for Peeta? That was called saving his life. If I wanted to kill either of you, I would’ve done it by now.” He picked up his trident. “Same goes for Y/N.”
Then he walked off, and you followed soon after hearing Katniss say something to Peeta about taking the first watch. If you were just watching The Games, then maybe you’d feel a little more compassionate towards her, but you weren’t watching. You were in them with her.
Your compassion sort of needed to disappear to ensure your survival, so all you were was annoyed. But she was a pretty good archer, so having her on your team didn’t hurt, unless you were counting how she was a pain in your ass.
However, your annoyance was quick to fade as you fell asleep, tired, hungry, and dehydrated.
When you woke up, it was to the sound of Panem’s anthem, pictures in the sky of the tributes that had died. Most of them were people you previously had conversations with in the Capitol, yet some of them were still people that you killed.
You couldn’t be friends with everyone in an arena.
You counted eight pictures in the sky. So there were sixteen left, including you four. If you were still mentoring, you would’ve probably been reflecting over how quickly those lives could just come to an end, but you didn’t have time to stop and think about the cruelty of life.
Your thoughts were directed away from the dead by a chime. You looked up to see a silver parachute, slowly falling to the ground. Katniss opened the silver casing, revealing some sort of metal tool and a note from Haymitch. You quickly identified the tool as a spile.
The three of you brought it to a tree, waiting to see if it’d work. Peeta came and found you not long after. You were just staring at it, praying for water. If there was a God, they answered, because water came pouring out of the spile like it was a fountain.
You were so relieved that you laughed, drinking and splashing some on your face.
After that, you were the one taking watch as everyone slept. Every year when The Games came, you had trouble sleeping more than a few hours each night. Now that you were back in the arena, you really couldn’t sleep at all. You’d make sure you got an hour every day, just to keep yourself sharp, but otherwise you’d prefer to let Finnick sleep and watch over him, anyway.
You were all startled by a loud banging, almost like an alarm. The only reason you could think of for its presence was to signal that it was midnight, but you were still confused. There were never alarms in any of the other Games. But, like you’d already figured out, this year was different.
Right after the alarm, you watched as lightning repeatedly struck the same tree in the distance. Nature didn’t work that way, and there was nothing natural about The Games, anyway. It wasn’t a coincidence, but you just couldn’t figure out what its purpose could be.
You spent the rest of your watch trying to put the puzzle pieces together, trying to figure out what the catch was with this arena, but you couldn’t make any of the pieces fit. You didn’t have enough. Katniss tried to stay awake, still distrusting of you, but she eventually succumbed to slumber, leaving you to yourself.
She hadn’t been sleeping long when you heard a different sound. You turned your head, seeing grey mist slowly crawl its way over to you. Your brows furrowed.
There were no natural occurrences in an arena.
You reached your hand out, like you were testing the waters, but you should’ve known better. As soon as the fog made contact with your skin, you fell backward, a scream leaving your lips. Your cry woke everyone else up. 
Finnick immediately ran to you, but you shouted, “No, run! It’s poison- the fog is poison!” Either he was stupid or brave, because he ignored your warning and ran to you anyway, helping you up as quickly as possible before you followed Katniss and Peeta, doing your best to run, but the fog was following you, too.
It was harder to run fast in this part of the jungle. All of the branches and plants kept getting in your way, but you weren’t stopping, helping Peeta cut whatever was in your way.
You could’ve been running as fast as humanly possible, but the fog still would’ve caught up to you. It wasn’t nature at all. It was intended to kill.
You had to change directions as it suddenly appeared in front of you, too. It was like it was encasing you. Somewhere along the way, Katniss and Peeta ended up running on the path parallel to you. You skidded to a stop as you heard Finnick scream. Your eyes widened. “Finnick, come on. We’ve gotta go!” You ushered him forward, and then he went running to Katniss and Peeta who came to a stop, as well.
When you got there, Peeta was groaning on the ground, blisters all over the side of his face. “I can’t carry him,” Katniss panted. “Peeta, please, stand up. We have to go.”
If you could carry him, you would, but he’d crush you if you tried. Finnick was in no condition to carry Peeta alone, so you slung one of his arms around your neck, telling Katniss to get the other. “Finnick, go. Get ahead of us.” You motioned for him to go forward.
He looked hesitant, and in any other situation, he wouldn’t, but none of you had the time to argue, so he listened and ran forward, taking Peeta’s blade and cutting the branches in your path.
The three of you cried out as the fog hit the backs of your necks, but then you were all rolling down a hill that you couldn’t have noticed in the state you were in.
You were whimpering on the ground, so consumed by the pain that you almost forgot that you were supposed to be running. You turned over and, to your surprise, the fog didn’t come any closer, travelling upward instead of forward, like it hit a wall. And then it just disappeared altogether.
You let out a shaky breath, resting your head on the ground before you were reminded of where you were. Resting wasn’t an option. You’d rest when you were dead, and you weren’t gonna speed up that process.
So you crawled over to the lake a few feet away from you. This was a gamble, but you had to take some risks if you wanted to survive. Cautiously, you stuck your hand in the water. This elicited another scream from you, but the pain in your hand slowly faded as the blisters were practically washed away. 
“The- the water,” you stuttered, “the water helps.”
As Katniss and Peeta made their way over, you pushed yourself into the water, moaning at the pain. Tears leaked out of your eyes, but after a minute or so, the excruciating pain subsided to just a sting.
When you were both okay, Katniss and you got out of the water, dragging Finnick over. As soon as the water touched his skin, he was screaming, trying to fight against it. “Shh, shh,” you hushed, holding him down. “It’s gonna help.” You ran your fingers through his hair, and a few more tears fell down your face, even though you weren’t in pain anymore.
Not physical pain.
But watching him struggle like this was a pain you couldn’t help.
You and Katniss helped him as he shivered while Peeta went and got your weapons. You stayed in the lake even after all your blisters were gone, just cooling off and getting yourselves together.
In The Games, your physical came first, but you wanted to keep an eye on mental health or at least not let it get to a point where it’d affect your body. Though, you supposed there was no healthy mind in The Games, and there certainly wasn’t after a victor left them.
Annie was an example of a worst case scenario, but you knew this because you lived it, too.
Finnick’s hand found yours as you sat together, holding it tightly. This was his way of making sure you were still there. Your way was putting your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.
After a while, though, that steady rhythm was interrupted and his heart started beating faster. This caused you to look up, and when you did, you were met with the sight of apes coming toward you.
Katniss grabbed an arrow while you and Finnick slowly stood up, bracing yourself by readying your weapons. You glanced around, seeing that they were coming in from all directions. Fucking Gamemakers, you thought.
You realized you could see the Cornucopia from where you stood, so all you had to was fend them off and make it there.
Suddenly, one jumped at Peeta, then the rest of them got up from their perched positions. Katniss was firing arrows left and right while you and the boys slashed away. If one got too close, you stabbed it.
Katniss was pulled underwater by one, but you killed it before she ran out of air. There were too many to just kill all of them, meaning you had to start running for the beach.
Peeta and Katniss both fell, so you ran to help her while Finnick went for Peeta. You stabbed the ape in front of her, grabbing her hand and taking her running with you. When you reached them, there was someone lying on the ground that hadn’t been with you before.
“Who is that?” Katniss questioned, but you recognized her by the face paint.
“A morphling,” Peeta responded, pulling her up. “Help me get her!”
You let Katniss help him while you helped Finnick get the apes closest to you, taking off as soon as you could. You both stumbled, rolling onto the beach, but the apes didn’t go farther than the edge of the sand. You held your blades out at them, but it was like you really didn’t need to.
You were reminded of the fog and it how was stopped by an invisible wall, the same way these monkeys looked to be stopped by something. 
A cannon fired, and they retreated into the jungle. You swallowed, turning to see Katniss and Peeta leaving the water, the Morphling left floating dead. Like clockwork, a hovercraft came in, picking her up like she was an object.
You scoffed. Just when you thought you couldn’t think any lesser of the Capitol, you were proven wrong.
When Peeta spoke up, his voice was both defeated and confused. “She sacrificed herself for me and I didn’t even know her name.”
“Her name was Trayne,” you cut in, making them both look at you, but your eyes were focused on the hovercraft taking her out of the water. “Trayne Carter.”
They both paused, absorbing that. It was like, for the first time since you entered the arena, you were reminded that these people weren’t just your opponents. They were people that had lives.
Just like you.
A look then passed over Katniss’ face as she turned to Peeta. “You think she sacrificed herself?”
“Looked like it.”
Your brows knit together while she voiced your thoughts. “That doesn’t make any sense.” It didn’t, but you had a long list of things you had to make sense of and more pressing matters at hand, so you couldn’t busy yourself by thinking about it.
Finnick found fish that was edible, so you all sat in the shade and ate for the first time since before The Games started. This time, you were the one to reach out for his hand, holding on to it like you’d die if you let go.
You were pretty much in silence until a scream sounded from far away but close enough that you could hear it. You let go of Finnick’s hand as Peeta remarked, “That’s new.”
You all stood up, grabbing your weapons. In the distance, there was a rumble. Something was rustling the trees ahead of you. When it got closer, you realized that something was water. The wave came crashing past the trees and into the water, stopping once it hit the Cornucopia.
Like it couldn’t go past it.
Cannons fired, and the hovercraft returned, picking up bodies from the jungle while you all watched, captured by the sight. You were broken out of your trance by Katniss drawing an arrow. “Someone’s here.”
Her and Peeta ducked while you and Finnick waited to see who it was. It took you a moment since they were covered in blood, but you soon realized who it was. You let out a sigh of relief. “Johanna.” You jogged over to them. “Johanna!”
“Y/N?” She laughed as she saw you and Finn. Her tough exterior came down as she went to hug you, like she was just as relieved to see you. Once she let go of you, she even hugged Finnick.
You glanced, identifying that the people she was with were Beetee and Wiress, then looked back at her. “What the hell happened?”
Katniss and Peeta came over just as she started explaining. “Well, I got ‘em out.” She gestured to them. “We were all the way deep into the jungle where I thought it was gonna be safe.” A humourless smile arose on her face. “That’s when the rain started. I thought it was water. It turned out to be blood. Hot, thick blood.”
You narrowed her eyes at her explanation. Fog, apes, waves, blood rain. There was some sort of connection there, you just couldn’t grasp it.
Wiress came over, looking lost, mumbling, “Tick tock.”
“It was coming down-”
“Tick tock.”
“-it was choking us.” She scoffed. “We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind.”
“Tick tock.”
“That’s when Blight hit the force field.” She exhaled, shaking her head as Wiress continued to mumble. “He wasn’t much, but he was from home.” You reached out, putting a hand on her shoulder.
You understood what she meant. You’d felt the same feeling before, when the male tribute from district 4, Bay, died during your Games. You didn’t always know the person you were going in with, but you became bonded by the experience. That loss was unlike anything you’d ever felt to this day.
Wiress kept going on in the background, making you glance at her. “What’s wrong with her?” you finally asked.
“She’s in shock,” Beetee replied, coming out of the water. “Dehydration isn’t helping. Do you have fresh water?”
“Yeah, we can get some.”
“Tick tock. Tick tock.” You turned to see Wiress had grabbed onto Johanna’s shoulders. “Tick tock. Tick tock.”
Johanna grabbed onto her forearms, trying to get her off. “Listen- stop it!” 
She had pushed her onto the sand when Katniss yelled, “Hey, lay off her!” She went and shoved Johanna, making you rush over.
You shoved Katniss away from her, pushing her hard enough that she staggered backward. “Back off, Everdeen!” you warned as Finnick held Johanna back from retaliating, but she shouted back.
“What’s wrong with you?! I got them out for you!” She struggled against Finnick. “Let me go, Finnick!”
Peeta came over to help balance Katniss. Her eyes were wild, like she wasn’t the one who instigated this. “For me? What does that mean?”
The question wasn’t directed at you, but you responded, anyway. “I don’t know and I don’t care, but you better watch it, Everdeen.” You stepped forward, looking her right in the eye as she stared back challengingly. You lowered your voice. “You’ve played with fire before, but I am telling you right now, I will light your ass up the next time you try me.” She opened her mouth to say something, but you cut her off, “Don’t underestimate me again.”
You walked off before you could hear her reply. If she said another thing to you right now, it was highly likely that you’d do something you would or wouldn’t regret. You weren’t gonna test it.
You decided to take Wiress into the water and help her clean herself up to calm down. She smiled at you crazily. “Tick tock.”
You sighed, “Yes, tick tock.”
“Tick tock.” She repeated herself over and over again, reminding you so much of Annie. Wiress was one of the smartest people you had ever met, yet she was reduced to this every time she was in a bad situation. She won her Games through a loophole, and in turn, that loophole sucked her in until she was too deep to get out.
As you rinsed her hair, she gasped, “Tick tock. Tick tock!” Immediately afterward, lightning struck the tree in the distance, the same tree as the night before. You tilted your head. The tree, fog, apes, waves, blood rain. Wiress looked up at you. “Tick tock.”
“Tick tock,” you echoed, eyes darting around the arena. The tree, the fog, the apes, the waves, the rain.
“Tick tock.”
“Oh, my God.” You cupped your hand over your mouth in shock. “It’s a clock.”
“Tick tock.”
You pulled her out of the water, engulfing her in a hug. “Wiress, you’re a genius!” When you let go, you ran with her to the others. “It’s a clock!”
They all looked to you. Finnick furrowed his brows. “What?”
“It’s a clock!” You pointed to the Cornucopia. “The arena is laid out like a clock!” 
Peeta came forward. “Holy shit.”
You ran your hands threw your hair, all of the puzzle pieces falling into place. “It’s, um- there’s a new threat every hour. They- they can only stay in their wedge, though.” You pointed at the tree. “It starts with lightning, then blood rain, fog, monkeys- that’s the first four hours. Then at ten, that big wave hits.”
Finnick chuckled slightly under his breath. “Wiress, you’re a genius.”
Peeta then cut in, suggesting you all get to the Cornucopia, so that’s what you did. Just as you were getting there, he pointed out, “Look, the tail points to twelve.”
Katniss filled in the blank. “That’s where the lightning strikes at noon and midnight.”
Wiress sat down on the rocks, singing to herself while the rest of you gathered around Peeta who mapped out the clock in the sand and what you already knew.
You crossed your arms. “Okay, what else?” You turned to Johanna. “Did you guys see anything?”
She snorted under her breath, “Nothing but blood.”
Peeta replied, “Doesn’t matter. As long as we steer clear of whichever sector is active, we’ll be safe.”
You shook your head. “Yeah, safe from nature.” As if you jinxed it, Wiress gasped immediately after you spoke. You turned so fast you could’ve gotten whiplash, in time to see Gloss pulling a knife out of Wiress’ neck.
Katniss worked fast, shooting him in the chest, but he wasn’t working alone. Right after, Cashmere came running at her. Johanna pushed Katniss out of the way, embedding her axe into Cashmere’s skull. 
The other half of the Careers revealed themselves, Brutus throwing staffs at you that you narrowly dodged. Katniss’ arrow missed Enobaria as she threw a knife at Finnick, grazing his arm.
“Bitch,” you swore, throwing a knife of your own at her head, cursing again when it hit her shoulder instead. You went running after her, chasing her around the Cornucopia, but you suddenly lost your footing. 
Gamemakers.
The island spun around. You grabbed onto the rock as best as you could, digging your nails into it so hard that they started to bleed. You were determined to stay alive, to keep Finnick alive, but your hold wasn’t strong enough. A scream left your lips as your fingers slipped. Finnick yelling your name was the last thing you heard before you went flying into the water.
Once upon a time, you were a swimmer.
You never thought you’d die by drowning.
And you refused to let that be the way you went out.
You fought hard against the current, using all your force to get above water. You gasped as you surfaced, taking in a large breath of air and coughing as you swam to the rock closest to you.
“Y/N!”
Finnick came running over to you, pulling you up and crouching down to your level. He ran his fingers through your hair, eyes darting all over your body with concern. “Are you okay?”
You coughed, nodding, and then he immediately embraced you tightly. His heart was beating just as fast if not faster than yours. For a moment, you couldn’t hear anything but that beating. You couldn’t hear the water, or the birds, or anyone else around you. You couldn’t even hear the music.
It was just the two of you.
And then that moment ended far too quickly.
Johanna brought you back to earth, heaving, “Let’s just get what we need and get off this bloody island.” You nodded against Finnick’s chest, letting him help you up. You muttered to him that you were fine, but he completely ignored you, helping you walk.
He was good, you thought. You would’ve been good together, in another life. It would’ve been nice to have been loved by this man, but life was never so kind to you.
You made it back to the beach, sitting on the sand under a tree. You weren’t relaxing like before; the time to relax had passed. You were nearing the end of The Games; it was time to plan for survival.
“So, besides Brutus and Enobaria, who’s left?” Katniss asked.
You looked right at her as you answered, “Maybe Chaff. Just those three.” You maintained eye contact with her, knowing that she was thinking the same thing as you. It wasn’t just those three. It was also all of you, sitting here.
Alliances always came to an end in the arena.
You knew Finnick must have caught onto this, but he pretended not to. “They know they’re outnumbered. I doubt they’ll attack again. We’re safe here on the beach.”
Safe for how long? you wondered. Even if the three of them were killed by the horrors of the jungle, you still wouldn’t be safe. None of you would be, as long as you were together.
“So what do we do? We hunt ‘em down?” Johanna questioned, looking to all of you for an answer of some sort, but before any of you could formulate one, you heard a girl scream.
A little girl.
“Katniss, help me!”
Katniss shot up immediately. “Prim!” You remembered that name from the year prior. That was her sister. Your eyes widened, trying to stop her, but she was up and running into the jungle.
You ran after her, hearing the others follow suit. “Katniss! Katniss, stop!”
She was running so far ahead of you that you almost lost sight of her, but you found her stopped, shooting down a bird. “Katniss!” She turned to you, breathing heavily. “Are you okay?”
Before she could even respond, you heard your own name being called. “Y/N!”
Your head shot up, eyes wide. Katniss was trying to talk to you, but it was like her voice was muffled to you. “Y/N-”
“Mom?”
“Y/N, it’s not real-” 
It was almost like Katniss wasn’t there at all. You ran farther into the jungle, screaming, “Mom?!”
Katniss was shouting your name, but the only voice you could hear was your mother’s. “Y/N!” Katniss ran in front of you, grabbing ahold of your shoulders. “It’s not her! It’s just a jabberjay-”
You cut her off, shoving her away. “How do you think they got that sound, Katniss? Jabberjays copy!” Her eyes glazed over at your words, and then a new voice joined the mix, making her shake her head fervently. 
Whatever she was saying now, you could barely pay attention to it, hearing someone else call your name, the voice of a person you never thought you’d hear again.
“Bay?” You gasped. Tears came to your eyes. It escaped you that Bay was dead, that you held him in your arms as he died. All you could focus on was just how real his voice sounded.
Jabberjays swarmed around you, the voices now louder than ever. Katniss grabbed your arm and you, not there, let her drag you away, running away from the voices instead of toward them.
Your mother’s and Bay’s voices mixed together, screaming your name, your mother who you hadn’t spoken to in years and the boy who you let down. You screamed, too, trying to drown them out, but they were too loud.
Soon, Johanna, Peeta, and Finnick came into your vision. They were saying things, but they fell upon deaf ears. You couldn’t hear anything but the screams.
You hit a wall, banging on it. Finnick stood on the other side, trying to speak to you, but you couldn’t hear it at all. The dam in your eyes broke, tears running down your face like a waterfall.
You sunk to the ground, hands on your ears, sobbing.
“Y/N!”
“You killed me!”
“No, no, no,” you wailed, but they weren’t stopping.
“You killed me, Y/N!” Bay.
“You broke my heart.” Mom.
“I’m dead because of you!” Bay.
“I lost my daughter.” Mom.
“It’s all your fault.” Bay.
“You’re a monster.” Mom.
“You killed me.” Bay.
“You’re not my daughter anymore.” Mom.
“You’re a killer.” Bay.
“I don’t ever want to see you again.” Mom.
“You killed me.” Bay.
“You deserve to die.” Mom.
You don’t know when they stopped. You still heard the echoes of their voices in your head when they were gone. “Y/N!” Someone touched your shoulder, making you flinch. “It’s done. The hour’s done- it’s okay.”
You shot up, seeing Finnick right next to you. “My mom? Where’s my mom- Bay. Where’s- where’s-”
He grabbed your shoulders. “They’re not here, Y/N. It wasn’t real.”
You panted, shuffling back away from Finnick, but he didn’t let you get far, pulling you to him. You tried to fight against it, but he wasn’t letting up. Eventually, you gave up trying to fight, letting him hold you. He pet your hair, whispering to you.
“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
You let the sound of his heart calm you down. It wasn’t real, you told yourself. Bay was dead. Your mom was okay. Finnick is alive. That’s what mattered.
After a few moments, you got up, Finnick watching you wearily. Johanna didn’t say anything, shooting you a look. You knew what she meant. You nodded, telling her without words that you were okay. You had to be okay. She nodded back.
You looked over, seeing Peeta still calming Katniss down on the ground. “Okay? They won’t touch Prim. Alright?” She shakily nodded, collecting herself.
“Your fiancé’s right. The whole country loves your sister.” You looked back to Johanna, seeing her standing on a rock. Her voice was both assuring and bitter. “If they tortured her or did anything to her-” she paused, chuckling, “forget the districts, there would be riots in the damn Capitol.”
She glanced to you and you saw the sheer fire in her eyes. Oh, you’d give anything to burn down that city with Snow in it.
“Hey, how does that sound, Snow?” She shouted, looking up to whatever cameras were in the sky. “What if we- what if we set your backyard on fire? You know, you can’t put everybody in here.” She turned back to you, seeing you all staring at her. “What? They can’t hurt me.” She shrugged, her voice was lowering as she looked to the ground. “There’s no one left that I love.”
You knew that Katniss and Peeta couldn’t have known the true depth of her words, but Beetee did. Finnick did. You did. Anyone watching at home- they couldn’t have understood. They must’ve thought she was crazy, but did any of them have even the slightest idea of who you all were? Did they know that she wasn’t always like this, that they made her this way? You were kids and the Capitol stole your innocence like it was nothing. For you and Finnick, they did it by selling you, and for Johanna, they did it by killing her family.
It may not have been fair to call Katniss lucky, she lost a lot, but at least her sister was alive. At least she still had a family. At least she wasn’t completely dead inside, like Johanna. Like Finnick. 
Like you. Johanna ended up walking off, giving the excuse that she’d get you both water. You all made your way back to the beach after that. You sat there, staring off into the distance. This place could’ve been beautiful, you thought. But now blood had been spilled all over it.
What was beautiful about that?
You didn’t have all the answers. Right now, it felt like you didn’t know anything. All you knew was that the man you loved was alive, arm wrapped around you, heart beating. Did he know that he was the only “sure” thing you had? Did he know how much you loved him?
It felt like you were supposed to tell him. You were gonna die soon; The Games would come to end, and so would your life. It felt like he was supposed to know. If you were gonna die, then shouldn’t he at least knew how you felt about him, how in love you were with him?
The answer you came to was no. You weren’t gonna complicate things—God knew this was already complicated enough, this thing you had. You didn’t have time to learn new steps to the dance. You just wanted to let the music play and dance until you couldn’t dance anymore.
You had been sitting there for a little while when Katniss broke the silence. “Who’s Bay?” You turned to her, but she wasn’t looking at you, staring at nothing like you were.
“Katniss-” Finnick tried to interject, but you stopped him, putting your hand on his without looking at him. If you looked him in the eye right now, then he’d be able to tell just how broken you felt. He could read you so easily. You didn’t want him to read you right now when you didn’t have the energy to fake it.
You didn’t want him to see you getting ready to die.
You weren’t exactly Katniss’ biggest fan, and she wasn’t yours, but here you were, sitting together in the same arena. She was you. She was you before everything got bad, worse than it already was.
Soon, you wouldn’t be allies anymore. Soon, one of you would die. So you’d bring down the mask, just for a second. Before you ended up on different sides, you’d show her that you were just like her.
“Bay…” you faltered, “I guess I didn’t know him all too well. Lived in the same district for fifteen years, but I never even spoke to him before we were in that arena, and by then, it was too late.” A burning sensation grew in your throat. “He died in my arms. He- he was gonna take the money from winning and take care of his parents, make sure they didn’t have to worry. He didn’t get to. So I did. I took care of ‘em- didn’t even dent my pockets.” A humourless chuckle left your lips. “You know, my mom and I don’t talk anymore. Says I’m a different person, and she’s right. So, sometimes, I think Bay was just better off.”
Katniss finally turned to you. She didn’t say anything- she didn’t have to. You saw the look in her eyes; she understood. But you wished she didn’t. You wished that nobody had to understand. You wished that Johanna didn’t understand, that Finnick didn’t understand. You wished that you could’ve all just been kids for a little while longer.
That’s when you got up, walking over to where the sand met the water. You wanted to admire this place before you were gone.
You heard someone walk up behind you, immediately knowing it was Finnick.
His voice was quiet, even though you were far from everyone else. “You never told me about Bay’s parents.” If only he knew all the things you didn’t tell him. 
But you didn’t say that. Instead, you just said, “I know.” He didn’t say anything else after that, wrapping arm around your waist and pulling you to him. You stared off into the distance together, just like those cold nights at the Capitol you spent together.
Sometimes, saying nothing with him was the equivalent of saying everything. 
Sometimes, it was better than saying anything.
You hadn’t been standing there for too long when Johanna came over, telling you guys that Beetee had a plan. You joined the others, listening to him explain how he wanted to lure the Careers to the beach then electrocute them as lightning struck the tree at midnight.
It was risky, and it all counted on the Brutus and Enobaria being at the beach in the first place, but you supposed it beat going into combat with them. You could take them if you needed to, but if there was a plan you could implement to avoid that, then you would.
If this plan worked, then the Careers would die instantly, leaving only the six of you in the arena. But only one of you would walk out, and it had to be Finnick.
Despite how the two of you had been at each other’s throats, you didn’t want to kill Katniss. You didn’t want to kill Peeta, the boy who reminded you so much of Finnick. You didn’t want to kill Beetee, who had made you laugh so many times you were at the Capitol. And you certainly didn’t want to kill Johanna, who was perhaps one of the only friends you had.
You hoped it wouldn’t be you, that you wouldn’t be the one to kill them. You didn’t want to kill anymore. You just wanted this to end.
You were so consumed by these thoughts that you missed the looks Finnick and Johanna shared and the look Beetee threw their way.
By nightfall, you were back in the jungle, making your way to the lightning tree. Beetee said something science-y, then you got started, wrapping the wire he invented around the tree.
“Typically, a lightning strike contains five billion joules of energy. We don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when this hits,” he said, finishing one last wrap before walking over to you, coil in hand. “You three girls, go together now. Take this. Unspool it carefully. Make sure the entire coil is in the water. You understand? Then head to the tree at the two o’clock sector. We’ll meet you there.”
You nodded, grabbing the coil as Peeta cut in, “I’m gonna go with them as a guard.”
You snorted, “What, golden boy, afraid we can’t protect ourselves?” Even in the dark, you could see the redness climb up his neck. “Don’t worry, your fiancé’s gonna be fine.”
“She’s right. They can protect themselves just fine. You’re staying here to protect me. And the tree,” Beetee dictated.
You glanced between Katniss and Peeta, spotting hesitation in both of them. It was happening, you realized. They were already moving to the other side of the board.
“No, I need to go with her.”
“There are two Careers out there. I need at least two guards.”
“Finnick can protect you just fine on his own- Y/N and I could trade places.”
Katniss now spoke up, “Yeah, why don’t Johanna, Finnick, and Y/N stay with you and Peeta and I’ll take the coil?”
“You want to face the Careers by yourself?” You narrowed your eyes. Katniss looked to you, trying to maintain an unwavering expression. “You do realize that you’ve only been at this a year, right? Not only that, you’re from 12. These are people who trained their whole lives just to kill.”
Katniss didn’t have a response, just as you expected. Finnick must have caught onto the tension, questioning, “Is there a problem here?”
Beetee responded speedily, “Excellent question.” Katniss looked back to him, and you knew that she knew her fight was over. She was out of her depth here.
After a second, she replied, “No. There’s no problem.” Not yet, but knowing her, there would be one soon. You and Johanna waited for her to say her goodbyes to Peeta before getting ready to go.
You were walking away when you suddenly came to a stop. You passed the coil to Katniss, then walked back to the tree. Finnick’s brows raised as you beelined for him, but then his eyes just closed as your lips met his.
The music was louder than it’d ever been, like it knew that the beat could drop any minute now. This kiss was equal passion and softness. You kissed him like you’d never get do it again, and that could very well be true. He kissed back just as passionately, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him.
You knew Finnick didn’t love you. You knew he had a girl waiting for him back home, but if you were gonna die, then you just wanted to do that one last time. You wanted one last kiss from your one true love, even if you weren’t his.
When you eventually pulled away for air, he still didn’t let you go, resting his forehead against yours as you both breathed heavily. “I- I need to go now.”
He ran a hand through your hair, opening his eyes to look into yours. “I’ll see you at midnight?” You smiled, hoping he didn’t see how sad you were.
“Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight,” you said, knowing how probable it was that you wouldn’t.
Then you walked away.
The jungle was dead silent except for the sound of your footsteps and crickets. All you had to do was get to the beach, then get as far away from it as possible. You wanted to meet Finnick at midnight.
But that wasn’t gonna happen.
Katniss suddenly stopped. You looked to her, seeing her trying to pull the coil to no avail. “There’s something…” She pulled it again, and then the wire snapped.
You saw Brutus, knowing Enobaria couldn’t have been far away. You pulled your sword out of its sheath while Katniss drew an arrow, but before either of you could do anything, you were falling to the ground, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Your head spun. You didn’t need to see it to know that you were losing blood—you could feel it. Get up, get up, get up, get up, you chanted, but it was as if your limbs were frozen.
You heard Katniss scream. You mustered up the strength to turn you head, seeing Johanna leaning over her, cutting into her arm. She shushed her, then looked up and cursed under her breath.
“Both of you, stay down,” she grit out, then she threw her axe at targets you couldn’t see, running away from you both. She did this, you realized. For some reason, you were shocked, but didn’t you always know this would happen? Didn’t you always know that you’d end up against each other in the end?
Didn’t you already know this would end in your last breath?
You did, but you still found yourself questioning: was this it? Was this how you died? Did Johanna just leave you to die?
Suddenly, you could hear Finnick, screaming yours and Johanna’s names. You wanted to scream back, to tell him you were right there, but it was like your mouth couldn’t form the words.
This was it. This was how you died.
You’d been preparing for this since the Quell was even announced, but you just weren’t expecting it, not yet. There were still people left.
At that thought, it was like the world stopped. 
There were still people left.
You couldn’t just leave Finnick to fend for himself.
You shot up as if you had just been doused in cold water, reaching beside you to feel that your sword was still there. Your eyes searched for Katniss. She was just right next to you, but now she was nowhere to be seen. You didn’t even know that she left.
You shakily stood up, dots dancing around your vision the same way you were. You still had dancing to do.
A cannon fired, and you started running, screaming Finnick’s name, not caring if alerted anyone of where you were. You ran faster as you heard the sky booming.
Soon, Finnick came into your vision, Katniss not far from him, aiming an arrow up to the sky. 
And then you saw nothing.
The last thing you remembered was being blasted backward, sparks everywhere, lightning.
And then the music stopped.
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When Finnick woke up, it was like he almost forgot where he was, and then he remembered what happened. Katniss shot an arrow at the force field.
He ripped the IV out of his arm, pushing past the aching in his bones and sitting up, looking around. Katniss and Beetee were lying down in front of him, still asleep. He furrowed his brows. There was no one else.
His eyes darted around the room, looking for you, looking for a sign that you were here, but he couldn’t find one.
“Y/N?” His voice echoed in the empty room. You didn’t answer.
He got up, calling your name louder. “Y/N?” Still no answer. 
This was impossible. You had to be here, you had to be on the hovercraft somewhere, you just had to. His mind went to the worst case scenario, but that couldn’t be. You had to be here.
He went for the first doors he saw, expecting to see you on the other side, but he was only met with Haymitch and Plutarch. His heart beat faster now. Where were you?
He ignored Haymitch completely, turning to Plutarch. “Where is she?” It should’ve been an easy answer, but the Gamemaker had an expression that Gamemakers rarely had. Sympathy. 
No. This can’t be happening.
He stepped closer, venom in his voice. “Where is she?”
Haymitch intervened. “Finnick, maybe you wanna sit down-”
“Where the fuck is my girlfriend?” They both gave each other a look that infuriated him even further. “Is someone gonna tell me where she is or are you two just gonna stand here all day?”
“Finnick-”
“Where is she, Plutarch?”
The greying man stared at him like he was hesitant to speak, which was saying something, because Plutarch always said whatever was on his mind. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, like he was trying to calm down a rabid animal. “Her tracker was never removed-”
“Okay, so where is she?”
“We couldn’t get her, Finnick.” His ears rang.
They couldn’t get her.
“We couldn’t get Johanna and Peeta, either-”
All of a sudden, Finnick charged at him, but Haymitch quickly went and stopped him, holding him back. “You said you’d get her out! You told me she was gonna be safe!”
“Calm the hell down, Finnick!”
“Oh, you’re one to talk!” He pushed himself out of Haymitch’s arms, turning and glaring at him. “Katniss is here! Of course, you’re calm- my person is still out there!”
“She’s still alive.”
“Yeah, for how long?”
Plutarch cut in, “They won’t kill her, Finnick. They know how valuable she is.”
“You don’t have to make someone’s heart stop to kill them, Heavensbee,” he spat. “If anyone should know that, it’s you.” The Gamemakers were creative. He knew that the Capitol would spare no expense to hurt you.
After what they did, rebelling like this, you’d be the one to answer for it. Even though you didn’t know a thing about it.
“Listen, kid, you need to calm down now.” Haymitch looked at him with hard eyes. “You need to pull it together. When Katniss wakes up, she’s gonna be confused and angry, just like you. We need her. If you want any of this to mean something, if you want any chance of ever seeing your girl again, then we need her. So you need to cool it.”
Finnick ran a hand through his hair, mind moving seventy miles per hour. The Capitol had you. They had you. You were supposed to be here, and they had you, and he didn’t even get the chance to tell you. There was so much to tell you, and what if he never got that chance again?
Haymitch was right. If he wanted to see you again, to have that chance, to ever dance with you again, then he had to pull it together. He had to be strong.
For you.
“Okay, what do you need me to do?”
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Your death was always expected, at least it was to you. When you pictured an ending in your head, this was it. You knew it was coming. What you didn’t expect was ever waking up again. 
But you did.
Your eyes opened to a dark room, fluorescent lights flickering on the ceiling. This wasn’t the arena, but you’d soon learn that you didn’t need to be in an arena to play a twisted game. 
Am I alive? you wondered.
Your question was soon answered. No, you weren’t alive. You were in Hell.
Because, sitting in a chair across from you, was the Devil himself.
President Snow smiled. “Hello, Ms. Y/L/N.”
“It appears that you and I have a lot to discuss.”
Taglist: @avoxrising @mxacegrey @littleshadow17 @lovelyteenagebeard @nasyanastya @catastrxblues @zodiyack @zulpix-blog @mushroomelephant @muggies
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poemsforparker · 2 years
Text
tongue tied - tasm!peter × reader (college!au)
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marvel masterlist
pairing: peter parker × gn!reader
summary: Peter lets a drunk confession slide during an after party you took care of him. He didn't remember anything so he didn't understand your behaviour the next day.
tropes: best friends to lovers, drunk confessions ‹3
warnings: mentions of alcohol
a.n.: I missed writing for my ultimate boyfriend SO MUCHH. I missed writing in general for this profile, but I’m backk, I have about 6 drafts yet to finish including 2 requests that had been sitting here for ages (rlly sorry ab that whoever asked for  them I really was overwhelmed for the last 5 months lmao), anyways if you’re reading this still I love you already, enjoy this lil drabble <3.
You entered your apartment nearly falling by Peter's weight almost entirely supported on you, he'd crossed the line and the bastard was lucky to have a best friend like you.
"Can you sit by yourself?" you ask worried looking at him, who had the silliest smile since you entered the elevator. "What is it?"
"You look gorgeous."
Trying your hardest to remember this was drunk Peter talking, you shake out the embarrassment and slightly nudging his arm. "Stop. Sit down, I'm grabbing you a blanket for you to sleep here, and a bucket, just in case."
You make your way to the room grabbing a blanket Peter always used on sleepovers at your place. Taking a blue old bucket on your way, you get to the living room, showing up to the view of a drunk Peter mumbling songs on your couch.
"Here," you place the blanket on him, pointing at the bucket on the floor right after. "Please just don't puke on my carpet. I'll leave you some painkillers and water by the couch. Anything you need you know where to find me. G'night, Pete." You kiss his forehead before walking out and have your arm grabbed, forcing you to stop.
"Thank you, you're so sweet. Sometimes I really want to kiss you." He speaks lazily and with a boyish smile never leaving his stupidly handsome face.
You played that phrase on your head over and over again, your heart racing on your chest thinking if Peter would even remember what he said to you.
It killed you to know that meant so much to you mean while Peter could only be mouthing random words lead out by the large amount of alcohol in his blood system.
You're awaken from your thoughts when you hear his loud yawn from the living room, probably a moment before he feels a terrible headache. You get up and go face him as if nothing happened, hoping he'd get back to the subject himself if he remembered it.
He didn't.
Peter spent his day acting fully normal to you, something you're sure he'd never be able to pull up such an act if he had any idea what he said the night earlier. To your surprise, you were really disappointed by that.
You always had feelings towards Peter, never really stopping to think about how it'd really be if you were a couple. Not until yesterday, when it felt so near reality, and you did not feel scared at all, as you thought it would be. In fact, the way you liked that idea just opened your eyes to how badly you had fallen for Peter long earlier, and the thought was eating you alive.
He was so kind, so caregiving, respectful and absolutely breathtaking, who wouldn't fall for him? Silly of you to think you'd scape that.
"What do you think?" Peter says excited about something you had no idea what since you'd been zoning out, taken by intrusive thoughts of kissing him right then and there.
"What?"
"C'mon, it must be like the third time you're not paying attention to what I'm saying today. What's up with you, bug?"
"Have you ever thought of us as a couple?" You let out not really aware of the words, just letting out what was in your head. Damn you for getting used to be fully honest to him.
"I, uh- um... What?"
"No- never mind I just- was thinking too loud... I guess." In embarrassment, you stare at the ceiling, which seemed suddenly more interesting that this conversation right now.
"I know this didn't came out of nowhere." You can hear he's smiling. He puts his hand slightly pulling your chin down to look at him. "What did I do?"
“You did nothing, Pete.”
“Oh, c’mon, I know you and I know my drunk self better than this, I must’ve  done something to lead to this.” He slides his thumb mindlessly on your cheeks while waiting for a response. “C’mon, say it.”
"Last night" you heavily sigh, in disbelief you were actually talking about this with Peter "you said sometimes you felt like kissing me." closing your eyes shut you think how you ended up here having this conversation with your best friend. "It just... Stayed in my head I guess." you shrug as if it wasn't much and see Peter's cheeks gain a heated tone of red, a sudden worried look showing up to his beautiful hazel eyes.
"Did I say that? God, I'm sorry, bug. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable around me." he leans closer, holding your hands and kissing them. "I'm really sorry, that won't happen again." you smile at his reaction, the first thought that came to his mind being nothing but your well being.
"I didn't say I got uncomfortable." you grin taking your hands out of his.
"You're not?"
“No.” you shake your head, still not helping your smile and now feeling your cheeks heat up "I just wanted to know if that's a genuine thought of yours or just drunk Peter spilling random stuff as always.” you chuckle. “I kinda of have an idea myself but I want to hear it from you."
“Oh... I see.” he shrinks his eyes as if studying your expression before saying a word more. “And what are your thoughts on this? Honestly.”
“Honestly?” you pull the last drop of braveness inside of you before the next sentence. “I sort of wanted it to be true.” you try to act like you said nothing much by not looking him in the eye and trying to shrug. Truth was, if he was still holding them, he’d feel your hands dripping sweat.
Peter gasps. “rEallY?” his voice fails like a twelve year old and he clears his throat to ask again, in embarassment “Really?”
You laugh a bit at him while nodding “Yeah.”
“Well, the we can make it happen.” he gives you a one sided smile while his eyebrows went up and down in a rhythm, making  you giggle at his childish acts.
“You’re such a dork.” while saying that, you lean closer to him now being mere inches away.
“A dork that you love.” and without giving you any time for an answer, that Peter could prevent being something along the lined of ‘don’t be so convinced’, he closes the space between you, joining his soft lips on yours. “You have no idea how long I waited for this.”
“Then just shut up and kiss me more.”
tags: @rudy-the-winged-wolf
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kissforyouu · 2 months
Note
What was it bout OC that made jk settle down
tbh, he wasn't planning on settling down at all. he was acc talking to multiples at the same time, oc was js one of them. he didn't even try to take their situationship or wtv to dating level at first, js keeping it on the low bc simply he js didn't rlly care much. not js ab oc, he didn't care ab any other girl he was talking to either. so yaaa eeeee he was a player. but then after they hooked up, one day he js msgs her. also whenever jk dates, it's always been for fun. he's got so many ex talking stages and like 2-3 exes, but non of them were srs. and the important part was the fact that HE never asked them out, it was js the girl initiating things w him. but with oc, he rlly got in there and made all the plans first. soooo ya from there ig he was starting to realise he's acc feeling a little serious ab oc. what can i sayyyy🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ she's got good pussy and a good personality LOL.
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tortoisebore · 8 months
Note
OKAY THOUGHTS AFTER READING THE NEW CHAPTER
SPOILERS CHAPTER 8 ⚠️
remus is fucking hot
was the tree asshole guy an asshole bc of a personal issue? did he know remus? was there more to it than what it seemed?(basing all of this on Peter’s comment)
remus isn’t fine is he? i’m assuming it’s something more urgent bc of the big emphasis we had on his shoulder (for dramatic purposes i hope he isn’t but he’s my bby and i love him so 🙁)
ALSO ik we barely scratched the surface on Sirius “backstory”/trauma but i was surprised at how TERRIBLE it was like i knew it was gonna be rlly bad but i wasn’t expecting it to be this HEAVY yk what i mean (MY POOR BABY I NEED REMUS TO HUG HIM FOR ME)
also i love how gentle remus is w sirius
IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES AND IT MAKES MY HEART SO HAPPY ANYWAYS THAT’S ALL
We appreciate you so much, thank you for writing this you are incredible
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1. yes he is so hot i actually cant stand him it’s fr insane
2. the guy was just an asshole! which is frequently the case with men in collegiate sports in my experience! if he’s already a bit of a dick and he figures out that the slippery little guard he’s assigned to seems to be favoring his left shoulder, he’s probably going to do the asshole thing and go for that left shoulder side to psych him out or get him hurt enough to be pulled from the game. men are ridiculous
3. he’s not fine :( my poor baby. my precious boy. we’ll get into that a bit more in the epilogue.
4. i KNOWWW omg sirius’ backstory is a doozy. part of the reason this chapter took so long is bc i had to completely change my outline for the rest of the story bc i could not get myself to sit down and write 10-15k words of all of sirius’ trauma in detail. like i didn’t really feel great ab writing remus’ either but sirius’ chapter specifically left me w a bad feeling every time i tried to chip away at it, it was super depressing & felt deliberately mean to sit there & write all these things happening to him:( we’ll get a bit more detail in the next chapter, bc being back in new york is obviously going to bring some things up and it will be important for him to share what he’s feeling when it does, but it’ll happen in a way that lets him look back on those memories gently & with compassion for himself rather than a way that gets him stuck in his head reliving it. that’s my bby & he’s not going to feel hurt or sad or upset anymore in this fic, we’ve put him through enough
5. i ALSO love how gentle remus is w him like UFHFHFHFHFHFHF my heart. they both deserve to be handled with such patience and love and care & i’m so glad we finally got to the point in the story where they get to have that security & experience all those nice moments. they deserve it !! they’re perfect your honor !! never done a thing wrong, either of them !!
THANK U SM FOR READING THANK U FOR THIS ASK ILY ILY ILY 💘💕🫶✨💞💗💕💖💘💘✨💞
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salt-volk · 1 year
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tbh i don't get why one custom auction, which had a lower ab than past custom auctions, is people's biggest sticking point here. i find custom 4 custom trading as a practice much more morally dubious because it literally bars non-owners from ownership and creates a borderline class (as in socioeconomic class, or should i say fake virtual socioeconomic class lol) locked item. this isn't even rlly ab p0ppy herself and she doesn't need to explain herself to me (1/2)
i just find it weird ppl are so much more against one time auctions (which i agree are not great) but don't care about custom 4 custom trading, which is SUPER exclusionary. and again this isn't a "call out" for p0ppy, it's just because the m00n bunnies have been distributed both ways and are therefore a perfect example that anons get stuck on auctions but can completely let c4c slide (2/3 sorry)
same with high priced but always available customs. the fact is an owner selling for ~300kp and up will likely make way more than 8m in their time selling on the site just because that cash adds up like crazy. but there are so many owners selling in that range who never get discussed here. i'm not against criticism of these auctions at all but i just find it so odd ppl find them morally worse than much more money printy and exclusionary distributions (3/3 FINALLY sorry)
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comradedream · 2 years
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stop i will literally cry myself to sleep i want it to be october already and i want a dnf and dt and dtqk+ and EVERY SMP MEMBER meet up right now with dream NOW hoesntly like iderc abt the dream face reveal bc ik i'll adore him no matter what but i=what i rlly care abt is seeing dream and seeing him smile and him be happy around the ppl he has wanted to meet for so long especially george and the dream team :(( imagine how much happy dt content we're gonna get and how many dream collabs and vlogs and AGH EVERYTHIGN we're gonna get by october aghhh. when do u think george is gonna get in america i litwerally need someone to make me sane and tell me he will get in the usa by september 2nd or else i loose it
AAAAA i know omfg i feel the exact same way we’re right on the precipice of dream having one of the happiest moments of his life and the start of such a new good era for all of them and we’ll get to see so much of it and dnf will never have to be apart again and and 😭😭🌟🌟🌟 im so excited. and ok ab the date itself,, 😭 unfortunately i very much doubt the meetup will happen by september 2 that’s in just Two days. i’m assuming it’ll happen in the second half of september or super early october since the first day of twitchcon san diego is october 7th and dream expressed the possibility of it happening super close to that date but basically sure to be before it
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ididkn0w · 11 months
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So like basically fuck I’m sorry I just need to tell u I love you again and that I’m craving you I’d love to be under the covers forcing ourselves to be touching every inch of our bodies with the other and my face on ur chest. So basically I left and like I slept the entire entire flight bro there’s nothing to it😭 I did wake up once and it’s bc they were giving food and it was nasty ass fucking scrambled egg. Girl u alr know me I will never eat that fuckin airplane scrambled eggs no hotel fucjing scrambled eggs in the buffet. No. Only Waffle House scrambled CHEESY eggs duh. And obviously they taste better if they come from ur mouth. I miss you. So I ate like two fucking miniature ass mushrooms. Yes Ik u fucking hate mushrooms. And also that like one piece of fucking bread that always comes with it. And then I went back to sleep and then I woke up n we had to get off n I was still so tired so I was grumpy as fuck also bc we had to run to get a ducking visa and then thru ghe passport shit but bro u alr know how the airports are here in like Europe like those big cities. I mean u know, fucking London one is crazy as fuck. Btw I need London recommendations or whatever or smth ud want from there that u miss idk. So then like I was sweating and we got our bag which once again so fucking far away and then we got out and got an Uber and like he was kinda weird bc he stopped at a gas station and made us wait like 5 min like wtf ok. And you also know how it is here they go like 110 on the highway and it’s normal and then we got to the hotel and my mom was like could we pay u and u stay here while we leave our bags bc basically we had a “cruise” tour but it’s rlly just like 20-25 ppl on like a small lil like yacht? Like my boat but two stories kinda type thing nah idk why I compared my boat cus it’s not like huge like no kitchen or shit but it had like a good space like the inside of my boat? But two stories of that. So that was at 6 and we got to like the city at like 5:30 and so he ended up being rlly nice and he took us to the hotel by foot bc we were lost and the receptionist didn’t speak English so he would translate for us and even took the bag with him. And the hotel is like a local one not like a Marriott or smth so that’s why. And so then he took us to the port and we met with my family I think I didn’t mention this to u but yk it’s just me and my mom and it’s more of a work trip and so my grandma and grampa and my uncle and his wife obv like my grandpa owns the company and my mom and my uncle which is her brother are important in it duh. And so yk when we went to Vegas like it was that fair? Like the only reason I went to Vegas and also with my family for this. So they have a competitor in the like industry and they’re from turkey and they invited us to come here and to give us a tour of their factory and like yeah so they’re competition but they like get along like good like neither of them care like it’s silly? Ig to them idk like it’s not like that is what I’m saying. So back to what I was saying we got to the boat thing and before I got on I was starving so I got some like street food and btw I think like Arabic food in all I’d my favorite like that’s why I ate Lebanese yesterday. I took pics of all of this btw bc I rlly want to show u ab my day bc I love you duh ur my best friend. So then I ate that and got on the boat and like I went to sleep😭 it was 2 and a half hours n I was awake for the last half an hour and bro my body hurts so fucking much from yesterday bc I was in heels like even my toes hurt my legs are in so much pain. So we finished and bro these mofos decided to take us walking to the hotel and they were constantly stopping and shit and I was low key mas cus like wtf bro I was just on an 11 hour flight I have my fucking backpack on with my purse my makeup bag my computer and headphones all that shit and like in the same fucking outfit bro I’m tired. Btw I got a cup I didn’t take a pic fuck but I’ll show u tomorrow so yeah we walked like for a good fucking hour to the hotel and yeah that was it I’ll
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crepuscollo · 2 years
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you know what i think the problem is? i continuously let people who don’t meet my mandatory needs into my life. thats why i end up hurt. i never told them what i need and half the time idk what i need anyway. i just let things go for everyone. i dont speak up. i usually dont even know it bothered me till later. and sometimes i think thats j how things are and i cant fix them theres nthn this person can do; blame everything on myself. from here on out, i wanna rlly make sure that i communicate my feelings. im so fucking tired of my emotional needs not being met and walking over myself and just keeping the peace. well, im not at peace.
god. i always let them. im “unproblematic” “low maintenance” “carefree” “everything is simple and nothing is a big deal”. right? cause thats how i gotta be. or else everything would go up in flames. this is how i was fucking raised alright?
my mum makes everything a problem w ruins everything for everyone. so im never gonna be like my mum; always sharing her opinion and expressing herself and saying things and shit. even if all of it is stress, its easier to not show it, it’s easier fof everyone around u. and its not like its unhealthy, right? no bad side effects. and its not like thsres room for 2 stressed and overwhelmed indiciduals right? there cant be. i havs to stay sane. cause she has to act insane.
my dad on the other hand? dont care. carefree. life is simple. life is too short to worry and stress and react and feel. unbothered, unprovoked, uninterested. he seems happy he seems okay. and my mum doesnt.
so how the fuck do u think i turned out? my dad telling me the way to live ur life is to not care and not cause problems and j give ppl simple solutions to their problems. just salek. and no one and no thing can be a problem big enough to make u give a reaction or stress or falter. keep the peace, yeah? all this while my mums anxiety eats away at her. constantly worrying ab this and that and overwhelmed and overstimulated and her minds in bits and pieces and here and there and not sleeping and not focusing not asking no more fucks to give no more space to care about her daughter and fuck, no one gives a shit. LIFE IS EASY ITS SIMPLE JUST DONT WORRY ABOUT NOTHING.
so, how. the fuck. do you think i turned out?
i bottled up my emotions so much to the point where im so overwhelmed but i cant even pinpoint a single feeling. its just all there, overflowing, but i cant see it. i cant feel it. i dont know how. and im afraid that if i start i wont be able to stop.
fun fact: when im crying i dont like being held. i want space. i need reassurance and being told im normal im okay ill be fine cuz it may seem pointless but i need to hear it “youre okay. its okay. youre okay. everything will work out. ill be there. together well make everything right again. dont worry, okay? we got this. you and me? we got this. there’s nothing we cant handle. nothing. is everything is in our hands and is handled and is fine. dont worry. please dont worry. we got this.” and god, i need my tears to be wiped away by some loving hands.
dont talk. just listen to me. tell me that if i share it, and say it, and let you in, well be in it together, and youll help me, and hear me out, and share and unbiased outside perspective. tell me you care so much you just want to take my pain away. you want to hear it. all my thoughts that are eating away at me, if i let them out they lose their power. tell me why you wanna know and dont tell me u wanna know bec u wanna help tell me u wanna know bec u wanna keep me safe and u care and u dojt think i should be alone in my mind. then stop talking. dont over do it. dont be desperate. i need to know its okay if i dont talk. once u tell me ur here with me and i have space to say everything out loud, then create that space with your silence. give me a moment. i need a moment to say it. dont interrupt me. dont give ur opinion. dont try to guess what i want. just dont try. tell me to tell u exactly what it is that i need. let me tell u the story and everything and then ill tell u oh this situation is making me sad or making me regretful so that means i need comforting or ill tell u idk what to do or im confused or idk how i feel then i need advice or if im j overwhelmed and stressed and needed to talk then i need a distraction. let me tell u what i want because if u interrupt or guess or give the wrong expression at the wrong moment itll make me feel misunderstood and unable to communicate how i feel and ill stop trying to talk. i need u to wipe away my tears and give me kisses. not hugs. kisses. let me initiate the hugs.
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my-darling-boy · 3 years
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how do you do your photo sessions? is it just you and your camera or is someone else taking photos ? theyre all so cool and im rlly curious as to how you do it !!!!!!
I’m so glad someone finally asked this, I was just talking about this with someone and honestly it is SO funny.
The trick is: as long as you’ve got a camera, luck, and at least one tripod—along with understanding of some basic photography and a good imagination—you can do a LOT. I’m known for having whacky set ups! My sister helps me with them when I can’t do them all myself and let me tell you, we’ve come up with some weird things. I’ve been teaching my sister what I know about photography and film over the years, so she’s been a big help getting my own photos done, and in return I do ones for her.
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In most of my photos, I’m in the bathroom. I don’t care what you think you see, I’m probably in the bathroom. Bathrooms have great lighting most of the time, and our bathroom has a skylight which is great natural lighting. If you don’t have access to a lot of professional lighting, setting up rigs in front of windows is great. I love using everyday objects and making them look ambiguous to suit my needs for a different object. My “halo” is literally a paper plate. I’m wearing a pillowcase. I set up the camera, my sister just had to check my positioning and lighting and click the button since I don’t have a remote.
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Again, I am in the bathroom. I’m still sitting on top of a counter. This one, we stacked some boxes haphazardly and put our lighting on top, which is usually this really bright survivalist lantern. I also taped a clip lamp to a tripod. My sister was standing on the opposite bathroom counter. It was so hot in there so I was in shorts and thigh highs, but you wouldn’t know that just by the photo
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I was in my bedroom for this one! A couple of tripods, an edited background, and a suggestive expression was all I needed to make this look like the Lieutenant and I were having a Good Time in his trench lodgings. If you don’t have an actual historical object like a swagger stick, a wooden spoon with a thimble on the end works too (as I found out). If you get creative enough, there are tons of objects and clothing you can fake. And yes my phone mount for the tripod is literally a macaron box I fashioned to hold my phone
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This is a great example of knowing how to frame your subject. We loved the treeline in the back garden because it resembled being out in nature, but we have a rather unattractive space out there surrounding it. To solve this, I got up on a high stool and my sister knelt down below and shot the photo from the nearer the ground. You would never know just out of frame was a garage, a trash heap, a shed, a truck, and other suburban houses.
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I’ll let you take a guess as to where I’m at for this one.... yes it’s the bathroom again. This time I’m by this awkward corner on the floor near the tub. We stacked a hamper on top of the tub and rolled some foam into a cone to direct lighting from a phone and lantern at my face. There was no angle to take the photo without running into the tub or shower so my sister had to take it in the tub. My knees and abs were killing me cos I had to half-kneel for the position, and strain my eyes to look up. There was also a low tripod behind me to drape my “mantle” over to keep it from falling flat against my back.
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I don’t even know how to explain this one and I couldn’t even fit it all in the drawing. We got in front of the downstairs window, hung the same white bedsheet I use so much from the ceiling, I knelt on a chair, and I set up the tripod just out of frame in that drawing. We basically gathered every lamp we could reasonably put in the window sill and took the shades off two tall lamps or optimal lighting. I taped bee magnets to my skin. The “clouds” are actually just pulled apart cotton balls taped to a straw and held in various positions in front of the lens. Perfect perspective play.
An honourable mention was my audio set up for my October ghost video.
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I don’t have professional audio equipment aside from a Yeti mic, so we had to get creative with how we would get the mic close enough to the subject. Yes, that is a tripod duct taped to another tripod and counter weighted by a bag of books. My mic is literally screwed into a socket it’s not supposed to even be in on the end of the tripod and the cord for it wouldn’t reach the couch to my laptop so I had to stack a stool on a chair next to this incredible contraption with the laptop on top so it could reach. How this entire thing did not collapse at any point is beyond me. (Can you tell I love tape and lamps?)
For photo editing programs, I hate editing on the computer and I will eat my own shoes before I give Adobe any of my money, so I use Enlight and Afterlight 2 from the App Store on my phone, and also FaceTune for certain face corrections. Afterlight 2 has a filter called “Himalaya” which is VERY similar to how 1880s-1920s photos looked and the app has plenty of dust overlays to make your photo look old. Enlight I use for broader ranges of image correction and background editing. Some examples of old photos I’ve done with a combination of those apps:
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My sister and I are very resourceful and creative whenever we do these things. I don’t have any formal training in photography, I just have a vision of what I want and I try to do what I can to achieve it. I’ve had photographers with masters degrees in photography tell me it’s astounding I’ve been able to achieve photo results that rival their own with what limited resources I had while they had access to everything under the sun at their uni.
In short, all I really do is pull out my camera and some tripods and other makeshift items with a photoset in my mind, and sometimes I burst into my sister’s room standing like “hi welcome to chili’s” if I need some assistance
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luvbrie · 2 years
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brother
pairing: jihoon & reader / older brother!jihoon & gn!reader
warnings: JIHOON IS ANNOYING, swearing, mentions of parents, informal language
wordcount: 1k words / bulletpoint scenario
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right off the bat, jihoon loves to annoy you
no surprise there
literally this man doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up
as much as you punch and slap him he doesn’t Care
you’re not even sure he feels your violent backlashes..
just call ur mom though and he’s apologizing as if he actually cares <3
jihoon is SO PETTY
he’s petty in the sense where you two would argue, he just walks out, and like 2 days later slap the back of your head
“wHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?”
he shrugs and just says idk
like hE’S NOT EVEN MAD AT YOU ANYMORE
HE JUST HAS TO BC… WHY??
and it happens vv often cause you fight like it’s the last day of ur lives Every. Single. Day.
ur both super stubborn so none of u apologize
but u guys only fight about rlly small things so arguments never rlly came to the point of needing proper apologies
other times he’ll barge into your room and Lay On You
it doesn’t matter if ur not on the bed.
he’ll just come up to u and flatten you out with his 5’10 ass
“get off me.”
“no”
"i can't Breathe"
"yea cause i took ur breath away"
"well give it the fuck back"
jihoon is like constantly looking for ways to annoy u in this state
he'll just lay on the bed and throw his legs somewhere on u
it’s kinda like his bonding time with you
like he’ll just flop onto your torso, pull out his phone and do whatever as if you weren’t even there
after shifting ur position so ur not Suffocating you just continue on with whatever ur doing
because you, as his sibling, would know jihoon was not gonna budge anytime soon.
honestly u would just Forget about him for a while until he randomly slaps your phone or flips your book to a random page
i’m pretty sure he’d spoil comebacks to you
at first ur like “STOP IT IDONT WANT SPOILERSSS”
but then after a while ur just like “waitt no way i thought mashi was dying his hair purple?”
kinda backtracking but he can’t keep his mouth shut so he’ll tell u ANY drama he hears about
totally would call you at any given hour for tea time
tbh if u want him to stop just hang up
he’ll just text you everything u missed anyway
cause he knows you actually do wanna know LOL
i can’t imagine him inviting you to his dorm with the boys
at least not often
he uses the excuse that “you are too annoying for them”
i say excuse cause jihoon doesn’t wanna swallow his pride and tell u that he’s feeling a wee bit protective of u even if he trusts the members with his life
just can’t help it
times he does let you hang w them, he’ll make sure to annoy you a lot in attempt to divert your attention from the boys
as much as u ignore him his plan inevitably works when he starts blurting embarrassing stories of you when you were younger
you have to slap his neck to get him to shut up HAHA
as much as we love the idea of wingman jihoon
don’t tell him if you have a crush on one of the treasure members
ESPECIALLY IF IT’S JUNKYU OR HYUNSUK.
save urself the embarrassment
he will do anything to get you to unlike them or something
if you’re serious ab liking them though, he’ll understand
i mean he won’t stop his ministrations but his intentions will have clearly changed
he’ll start teasing the member a lot and saying very subtle things about you that they might like
he’s gotchu bro but in the rudest way possible
adding on, jihoon genuinely really cares for you
he disguises his concern with teasing
he’ll flick your forehead throughout the day if he finds out you haven’t been taking care of yourself
“come on you should be old enough to know when you need to eat”
“you still need your older brother to tell you when to go to bed? you’re such a child”
he likes to make snacks for you while you study
from things like cut fruits to going to the convenience store really quick to buy your favorite chips
when he catches you all sad, he’ll drag you to your room and wrap you in your bedsheets
he’ll sit with you, regardless if you tell him to go away or not
he won’t say anything, and just let you cry or scream or rant
whatever his little sibling needs to feel better
because whenever you’re sad, he can’t help but feel at fault
he knows he’s not as outwardly affectionate and doesn’t want you thinking that he doesn’t care for you
especially if the reason why you’re sad in the first place is because he made you genuinely angry or said something to upset you
sometimes, when he knows that you’re really hurt, he’ll lay down with you and let you hug him
if you’re hurt because someone broke your heart, he’ll start pointing out every single little thing that he’s noticed that he didn’t like
it’s kinda scary how much jihoon knows actually???
like jihoon is super observant when he’s not talking tbh
“didn’t you notice how they always got a text at 4pm ‘from their mom’ and always had to be home by 5? they don’t live with their mom, y/n.”
you’re like “huh”
“yeah. also don’t you remember how you were getting suspicious of them and their work friend, and how quickly they dismissed that ‘friend’ of theirs when you brought it up that night? as if they expected it?”
“???? you noticed???”
“you didn’t?”
all in all jihoon is super caring in indirect but obvious ways
just call his name and he’ll be there :)
well he’ll be there after he finishes listening to mashi and jeongwoo fight tho.
he’s late by like 20 minutes but when he greets you with “y/n. oh. my. god.” ,, you know that 20 minutes would’ve been worth it.
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meeowerzz · 2 years
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do u have any ocs ur ok with people doodling asking 4 a friend
OH umm I have rlly rlly old art of some ocs but yeah go ahead
THESE GUYS ARE SOME OF MY OLDEST OCS!!! they’re some kind of demon species (I had a shit ton of demon ocs) and live off of souls of other things. they run a family hitmen group (they’re all siblings)!!
I think their names are alyssa, zak and laila (from left to right) but I don’t have their old refs on hand so I don’t rlly remember o(-(
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JEAN DENNY AND STONES ARE MY BOIS!! I partially wrote a story for them like 2 years ago and they all live in a post apocalyptic earth together. I can go into more detail ab their world later if someone’s interested but yeah!!
jean and denny are best friends (jean is very pessimistic, and denny is very goofy and loving) and they literally almost die hand in hand together
stones is the reluctant 3rd person to the group, he’s very blunt and described as a so called nutjob (he’s not tho and merely a misunderstood guy) and is the brains of the trio
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I unfortunately can’t find a full piece for them but she’s a half shark half demon. I don’t know if I named them but I remember drawing them several times
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I LOVE SKELE OCS!!
olive is a rlly old oc that I’ve kept for years (was going to be a sans au but he ended up being an oc fhfhfh) very good vibes and very chill and go happy :]
zucker is a very homosexual homophobe (/j) and has a huge crush on olive but is too pissy to admit it (to anyone but mako when high)
clover is my mute skele. they rlly care ab the feelings of others and rlly likes knitting and costume design
pineapple is a rlly energetic monster!! a close friend of mine traded skeles and I ended up with the sweetheart :DD she’s rlly expressive and does things at random
mako is the guy who u want to go to raves with. he’s rlly charismatic and is a rlly good person to come to for emotional support. I’d want to hang out with him and make dick jokes
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dominque (left) and claire (right) are two of the main characters of an old webtoon I was working on!! I was gonna have them have a relationship during the series but I never finished it fhfhfh
dominque is a softball player and an absolute sweetheart :D !! very gay (very big women enjoyer) and bubbly person, I’d like to be friends with her irl ^_^
claire was the main character and anxiety ridden nerd that was lowkey a self insert lmao. she’s rlly into watching letsplays and draws a lot :D
much like me claire’s extremely nervous and kinda bad at socializing, but trying her best and very flustered doing so
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this was longer than I expected but here u go !! I have more story and worldbuilding if anyone wants to hear, but yeah!! ^__^
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mlmcaptainpike · 2 years
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since I just rewatched it actually through the valley of shadows is the best discovery episode and I guess hit keep reading if you wanna know why (tl;dr it’s the one of the only episodes in the first three seasons that prioritizes character development over somewhat contrived plot progression)
anyway part of the reason I think season 4 has been better on the whole than earlier seasons is like somebody finally told the writers to devote some time to the characters. like events are fine and all but I don’t really care about the events themselves as much as I care about how they affect characters and relationships etc and sometimes I think disco struggles with wanting to do cool plot stuff without putting in the work characterwise. recently disco has done a better job at spending time on characters and how they interact with each other and so I care more. not to beat a dead horse but I don’t really care as much about abe lincoln in space or whatever as much as I do about how kirk and spock etc react to abe lincoln in space and likewise I care more about michael and saru then say. diplomatic tensions. and if you want me to care more about diplomatic tensions make me care more about why michael and saru are involved in them. etc
BUT BRAN WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THROUGH THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS well imo through the valley of shadows (henceforth referred to as ttvos) does a better job with characters then like any other episodes in its season basically. ttvos isn’t so much predicated on where the plot is going next but on how it’s affecting the characters as they are and it makes for a very compelling watch! season 2 was rlly fighting its demons with a time travel plot that felt superimposed over more rational/logical character and narrative progression and ttvos is the one of the only episodes in the season that manages to blend both in a way that makes sense: we have chris pike testing his emotional mettle, we have michael facing her tough past in the forms of spock, gant, and gabrielle, we have tyler finally getting some closure on points that had gone unresolved since SEASON 1, and we have the closest the season ever gets for giving me good reasons for culmets getting back together, and it’s all topped off with some charming and well-written interactions between the cast. feel free to stop reading now because that’s my thesis but I am going to break it down a little
so ttvos is the episode where pike goes to boreth and has that nasty vision with the time crystal. as a matter of plot capt pike doesn’t generally struggle with doing the right thing because he’s written as more of a paragon - he’s never really insensitive or malicious and any disagreement he has with the crew tends to be practical and not moral, which is why it’s cool to put him in a situation where doing the right thing (essentially the basis of his character) comes at immense personal cost. like idk how to elaborate more on that point, it’s neat. it’s an extremely reasonable little adventure to send him on this episode because not only does it show the audience a side of him we haven’t seen (challenged to do the right thing. oh and also vulnerable he doesn’t really break down like… ever besides this) it also reminds us about some facts of his character (he’s a great guy!) and that’s great. bam plot point designed to demonstrate character.
michael is meanwhile investigating a section 31 ship that missed its check-in and happens to run across former crew mate kamran gant (he’s under control’s, well, control, but she doesn’t know that at first). spock is with her and the situation with michael‘s biological mother is a recent and sore memory. once again, by placing michael with her estranged brother in a situation where she’s already struggling with some things family-wise and past trauma-wise is really cool and it gets cooler when they play her off of gant as well, who brings back some of the season 1 guilt from the shenzhou. its successful because it demonstrates how she and spock have really started to repair their relationship. it also incorporates control as a more emotional villain both in that gant is (slightly) more recognizable to michael and the audience than the completely original capt leland and because control can use gant to force michael to confront her pain and shame about the fate of the shenzhou and it just all really works. bam plot point designed to demonstrate character.
im going to incorporate tyler, culmets, and the crew into one paragraph because they’re all shorter and more related. first, on tyler: this episode grants closure to him, voq, and l’rell instead of petering out on the subplot (like one of its predecessors, point of light, did). it’s the closest l’rell and the audience really ever get to reconciling ash’s two identities and it’s the closest ash and l’rell get to reconciling their complicated relationship. it’s not nearly as clear or clean as I think it could have been but there’s more there then like… any other episode about tyler ever. moving on, when later episodes similarly petered on culmets’s storyline, this episode does take time to do some meaningful storytelling about it. it’s the most convincing justification for why they get back together in the finale because it sets out a little time to help the audience understand why they aren’t already together and why they should be. it’s nice and it tightens up the finale a little. oh and finally reno (and briefly the other bridge crew) was a wise addition to this episode. she brings a lot of levity and, while not being terrible complex herself, is excellent in the role of someone for other characters to bounce off of. there were some cleverly written moments between pike and tyler, l’rell and tyler, and michael and spock, but reno definitely wins the award for bringing out the best in everybody. for all these reasons, once again, bam plot point designed to demonstrate character.
anyway to conclude this ttvos’s back must hurt from carrying the finale all by itself. as the penultimate episode (if you treat sweet sorrow 1 and 2 as basically one episode) it really got its act together just in time. watching it feels like watching an episode from some alternate universe discovery season 2 that had a grip on where the plot is going and that’s refreshing! if you like discovery and haven’t rewatched ttvos recently, I would strongly recommend it - it was a treat of an episode in a way I wasn’t expecting, and in some season 4-related ways it was an omen of better things to come. :)
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bubblelixie · 3 years
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okay hello, i have been thinking about this for a while and need a place to dump it before it rots my brain, but bASICALLY, taking really good care of a soft subby felix and making him feel so good 🥺🥺💖💖💖 like touch him softly and kissing him all over and making him whine so prettily 🤤🤤🤤🤤 perhaps him throwing a "mommy" in there or two 🤤🤤🥺🥺💖💖💖 i jUST WANNA TAKE CARE OF SWEET BABY BOI LIXIE 🥺🥺💖💖💖
ANON IM IN LOVE 🥺🥺🥺
TAKING CARE OF SUBBY LIXIE LETSGOOOO
☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.
you came home from work excited to see your boyfriend felix.
when you got in the door he was there, greeting you with his beautiful smile that never failed at making you happy, every time he smiled (or just existed) you would fall in love with him over and over again even more than the first time
“hi” he said to you smiling and giggling while running away to the bedroom that you two shared.
your eyes were wide at the sight in front of you, he had been wearing white lacy knee high socks and he was wearing one of his hoodies that was oversized on him, he also had a black lace cat ear headband on his head, and as he ran away, you could see a cat tail butt plug that was peeking slightly out from the hoodie.
was this the first time he’s worn something like this when you came home from work? no
was it still always a nice little surprise that you enjoyed so much and would never get tired of? definitely
you set your things down on the floor going into the room that he had just scurried into.
you smirked seeing your boyfriend on the bed with pillows and stuffies all around. he was laying on his tummy facing the mirror in front of the bed admiring himself as his legs were up just kicking back and fourth. he looked so cute and innocent you wanted to take care of him, yet ruin him.
you sat next to him on the bed looking at the two of you in the mirror as you began to stroke his fluffy hair.
“lixie you look so pretty”
“t-thank you”
“what’s wrong kitty, want me to take care of you”
“y-yes please mommy”
you got up off the bed motioning for him to lay on his back, he was now laying properly on the bed, laying flat on his back, his hips lightly bucked into the air hoping for some kind of relief, yet he was left with nothing but a spank to the thigh causing him to whine.
“hhhnng”
(yea idk what that says either 🤣❤️)
you rubbed the spot on his thigh that you previously spanked, a light shade of red forming on his beautiful skin.
“nuh uh baby boy be patient for me alright”
he nodded in response and you clicked your tongue shanking your head at him in disapproval
“use your words pretty boy”
“y-yes mommy i’ll be patient”
“good boy”
you began to raid the hoodie exposing his entire top half, you ghosted your fingers over his tummy, his toned abs creating a confusing contrast to his baby face, as your hands ghosted his stomach and traced light shapes and words, he squirmed under you.
“mommy’s gonna take good care of you”
you kissed the boy on the lips before bringing your hand to his hardening cock, you began to pump it a few times with your hand before giving kitten licks to its tip, felix’s breathing had picked up and you placed a kiss on his tip before taking him in your mouth whole. you bobbed your head up and down until you felt him twitch inside of your mouth.
“mommy i-i’m gonna cu-“
but you pulled away just before he cold, he whined once more as you aligned your pussy with his cock and slid down easily from how wet you were, you put your face in the crook of his neck and you could hear his beautiful whines.
“mm stop i-i’m too sensitive ah”
“shhh”
you kissed him to quiet him down and to help him reach his high faster you began to pinch his nipples, occasionally licking and sucking at them.
“m-mommy i’m so close can i please cum”
“go ahead baby boy, well cum together”
felix tightened his grip on the sheets below him, his knuckles white as he painted your walls with the same color.
you layed on him for a second before plopping to the side of him as he cuddled up real close to you.
“baby let me get up so i can clean us”
“can we just stay here and cuddle for a little please”
“how could i say no to that pretty face of yours”
and when you heard his soft breathing and that his eyes were closed, and he was fast asleep you knew you would be in that position with your boyfriend for a while, but you wouldn’t trade that for anything, and i mean you fell asleep not too long after so it evens out.
☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.
a/n: i’m sorry if this sucks (it does lol) i wanted to get this up and it’s almost 2 am so i don’t rlly know what i wrote lmaoooo anyways i have a few more asks to get to and when i’m finished with those griptape chapter one will be up sometime next week <333
☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆゚.*・。゚☁︎︎ ♡ *.
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ringmyheart · 3 years
Note
Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)
(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)
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Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic
He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u
In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against
And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”
He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin
If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)
The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”
U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO
He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”
And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN
And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”
He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight
Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong
He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to
And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell
Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not
During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage
Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things
On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately
Now both on like 5 no fly lists
He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.
He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose
He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen
He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion
Like the comments r like:
Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!
Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐
Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN
Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD
(Y/N): love it! 😍
Zoe: kill your producer 💀
Mira: ...
He’s overprotective too
If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”
Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him
Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason
Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do
It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u
WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!
If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”
Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it
He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....
He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma
Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”
If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤
The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world
Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him
WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u
Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave
He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?
Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place
If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally
I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭
If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back
Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”
If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will
U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life
I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️
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wonderlustlucas · 4 years
Text
four - hwang hyunjin
⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎
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big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up
big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool
big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit
You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.
The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.
You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.
[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls
[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer
[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid
[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji
You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.
[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh
[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop
You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.
[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm
[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep
[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee
You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.
In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!
By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.
“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.
“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.
“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.
“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”
“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.
“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?
Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.
“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.
“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”
“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”
“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”
“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”
“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.
Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.
It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.
And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.
Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.
He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.
And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.
But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.
But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.
But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?
It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.
So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.
Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.
Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.
Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.
Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.
Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.
Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.
“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”
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You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.
Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.
You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.
“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.
“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”
“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.
And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.
Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.
“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”
Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”
“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.
Yeah.
“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.
“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”
“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”
“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”
“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.
“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.
You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.
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You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.
September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.
You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.
Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.
“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.
Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—
“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”
It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.
How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.
God, you hate it.
You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.
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Hyunjin is a funny guy.
Or so he thinks.
It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.
It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.
Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.
After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.
But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.
You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.
After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And
[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*
[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts
See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?
[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”
[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM
[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president
[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like
[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing
Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.
“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.
You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.
“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.
“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”
“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.
“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.
“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”
Yikes. He’s going to kill you.
“Nursing,” you blurt.
“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”
“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”
“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?
“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”
Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.
For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.
Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.
Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.
“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”
Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!
After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.
“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!
Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?
Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.
“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”
You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.
Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”
Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”
He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”
You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”
“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”
“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”
At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”
Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.
“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”
Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.
“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.
It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.
In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.
“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.
“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.
“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”
Yeah. We shall.
The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”
“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.
“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”
“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.
“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.
Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.
Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.
Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.
You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”
“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”
“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”
“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.
“Kinky.”
Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”
“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.
Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.
Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.
“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.
“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”
“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.
At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.
You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”
He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.
Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.
Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’
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You think you are dreaming.
You think.
“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”
“Just past two,” he whispers.
You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”
“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.
You think you are dreaming.
You think.
You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.
Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.
“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.
“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.
“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.
You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.
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Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.
This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.
“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.
“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”
A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”
“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”
It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.
“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.
You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”
You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”
“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.
“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”
“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.
“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”
“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.
“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.
“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.
You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.
“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”
“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”
You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?
Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.
“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”
Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”
“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”
“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”
“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”
“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”
“You didn’t kiss m—”
The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.
“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.
“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”
He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”
“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.
On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.
On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.
The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.
The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”
Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”
Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”
“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”
“Yes. Wait— what? No!”
You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.
“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.
“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”
You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?
“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”
You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.
“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.
“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”
You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”
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